#It's just Gregory muse wanting to sing so I let him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

retvenkos · 4 years ago

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come morning | c.b.

requested Bridgerton - Colin Bridgerton x Reader, fluff

tw: none

word count: 1.3k

A/N: alright,,,, i have been holding onto this too long. it’s time to let it go. i hope you like it.... it’s only a tad rough around the edges.

prompt: “i don’t like our odds.”

Summary: In moments like these, being with Colin was easy. Nothing else mattered but the two of you - there wasn't anything in the world that could stop you from just enjoying his presence.

On summer nights like these, the world was cocooned in the thick, warm blanket of darkness. Those who were asleep wouldn't wake until morning, and those who still fought against the aging night were losing the battle, drowsy and nodding off. You slipped out of your house as quietly as you could once night fell, and all went silent. Casting a furtive glance over your shoulder, you stole away to the park, whispering underneath your breath in what was either a prayer or a scolding. The night was mild and still, and the colors of the world were rich and dark. You breathed in deeply, closing your eyes and allowing the crickets to lull you into a state of peace.

A pair of hands closed over your eyes, and a moment later, a familiar voice sounded by your ear, cheerful and low - full of life. "Found you."

"You were supposed to."

Colin Bridgerton laughed, eliciting chuckles of your own, filling the deep night with such beautiful sounds. Coming around from behind you, Colin reached out, taking your hands in his and squeezing them tight.

You leaned forward, so your foreheads touched. Colin sighed happily, and you committed the moment to memory - his being beside yours in the hours before wakefulness when the only souls awake were you, him, and the orchestra of crickets around you, playing music to which your hearts could dance.

"How did you manage to sneak away?" you whispered.

"Well, Hyacinth, Francesca, and Gregory go to bed at a decent hour; Anthony was brooding in his study; and, Benedict was joining Eloise in the backyard."

"And your mother?"

It was hard to see his face in the dying light, but you could hear the grin in his words. "I'm afraid I had to tell my mother that Eloise might be smoking for her to abandon her post by the front door."

"Eloise is going to kill you for that."

"She'll have to know it was me, first."

You laughed again, and Colin squeezed your hand before letting go, sitting down on the cool grass and looking up at you expectantly, waiting for your to descend. You fluttered down beside him, and for a moment, he just looked at you. The air held a particular feeling to it - as though neither of you could ever bore of these stolen moments of fond intimacy. You smiled, although he couldn't see it, and Colin moved so that his head was resting in your lap.

"Tired?"

"Just comfortable."

You hummed pensively, and Colin took your hand in his once more, skin grazing against skin, his fingertips tracing patterns on your palm. He listened as you told him about your day - the highs and lows and those dreaded middling moments when all you could think about was this moment and how much longer you'd have to wait until the sun dipped down over the horizon. Colin was an attentive listener, and when he spoke of his adventures, you were just as mindful.

His voice carried all the warmth and command of a symphony. You closed your eyes and let it wash over you. In moments like these, being with Colin was easy. Nothing else mattered but the two of you - there wasn't anything in the world that could stop you from just enjoying his presence. The waking hours were much more difficult. It was as though every action had to be calculated... it had to have some sort of thought or meaning.

Your first midnight escapade began by accident. Your cat had somehow managed to slip out the door and (against your families' wishes) you went searching for it in the park across from your home. At that same time, Colin Bridgerton had been taking a walk with Eloise, distracting her from something Anthony planned to do that would only lead to questions that didn't need to be answered. The two of you had quite literally bumped into each other, and Eloise had the mind to walk herself home. After an evening spent searching the park for your pet, you told Colin that should you ever run after your cat in the middle of the night again, you would hope that you would have the luck of running into him.

The very next week, you found him in the park, despite neither of you searching for a lost animal.

"I wish we could just stop time right here," you mused.

Colin chuckled at that. "We could do it, I suppose. Lasso the moon and hold it in place. Of course, we'd have to find a rope large enough."

"Mmm, and what would we do to hold all of the stars?"

"Charm them? Perhaps they'd enjoy my singing?"

"I certainly do."

You heard Colin scoff.

"I don't like our odds, though."

Colin shifted, and after a pregnant pause, he sat up. "Are you alright?"

"Hmm?"

"(Y/n)."

You breathed out, smiling. Colin, of course, wouldn't be able to see your expression, so you reached out for his hand instead. "Of course I am. I'm always alright when I'm with you."

Now it was Colin's turn to hum unconvincingly. The crickets held his tune, holding the lapse of silence and filling it with something profoundly tender - vulnerable and sweet.

"I enjoy these nightly escapes of ours," Colin started, his silhouette tilting its head, as though he were considering you deeply, searching the outline of your figure for a response, "it makes dreaming of you so much easier."

You bit back a laugh, but your lip quivered.

"And I do dream of you - quite often."

"You mean you find time to sleep in between your daily activities and our night rendezvous?"

"Daydreams count as well, don't they?"

"Yes, Colin Bridgerton, I suppose they do."

Satisfied with the exasperated laugh that left your lips, Colin laid back down, his head in your lap, and his hands reaching for yours.

"What do you dream about?"

"Are you looking for me to stroke your ego?"

"Perhaps," he said, and you could hear his grin once more.

"Fresh bread, figures in the stars... you."

"A fine order of dreams."

You rolled your eyes and leaned down to kiss him on the forehead. "I start from the end and work my way backward."

You couldn't see his face in the pitch of night, but you could imagine what he might look like - moon-eyed and blushing, like those flowers that only bloom at night. "A real shame," Colin muttered, something in his voice almost breathless, "I quite like fresh bread."

And you were laughing again, bent over and giggling into his hair.

Eventually, your joy subsided into residual warmth in your chest. When Colin spoke, his voice was soft, barely heard over the crickets and their music.

"Should I call on you, come morning?"

Call on you? The idea caught you off guard, despite having imagined it thousands of times before. Call on you? And risk losing all of these moments stolen from time?

Perhaps it was silly to think that it could all go away if you were to spend time together in the day. What was the difference, truly, between the park at night and the park during the bright, dazzling day? Something about it felt lesser - less secure. Here, you had the cover of darkness. In the daylight, all would be revealed, and perhaps this charming flirtation would become something less. You didn't want that; but you couldn't let this exist only in the shadows, either. For now, you were alright, as was Colin. But soon, neither of you would be. You didn't want it to have to come to that.

"Come morning?" And for a moment your voice sounded uncertain.

"Yes," Colin prodded.

"I'd like that very much."

-- taglist: @findmeintheafterglow, @catsbooksandmusic, @multifandomfix // message me if you want to be added!

#bridgerton #colin bridgerton #colin bridgerton x reader #colin bridgerton imagine #colin bridgerton reader insert #bridgerton x reader #colin bridgerton x you #bridgerton x you #reader insert #gender neutral reader #fluff #imagine #one shot #x reader #fic #writing this my thought process was..... i know where i'm going with this..... actually... i don't

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fumikomiyasaki · 2 years ago

Note

💗 Forte and Greg, 💘 James and Carol or 💋 with Emma and Kyosuke

Acts of Affection ask

💗 - our muses are wrestling playfully and yours suddenly kisses mine

After both had their singing recordings, Gregory used the after school time to kidnap Forte into her room, cause his Is always a big mess. Mainly it started as comfy cuddling but he felt a bit more playfull... so he pinned her down to the bed.

"Why don't ya try to escape?"

"Oh you want me to? Well I can try."

She tried to find against his wrist but it only worked as he lightly took away grip himself... and so she landed swiftly on top of him... him smirking at her cheeky...

"Want me to take ya down again?"

" *chuckling* But I am so comfy here..."

As she joked he quickly pulled her into and embrace and pushed her to the bed into a kiss... tongues clashing against each other... as they separated with Saliva coming out...

"I hope ya have some time to spare... cause I won't let ya go away easy after this..."

"I am not going anywhere..."

He pulled her back into his arms kissing her softly.

💘 - our muses have been friends for quite a while, and yours suddenly realized they have deeper feelings for mine

(Given I wrote confessions a lot, I really just will focus on the moment when she actually fell for him)

At an RSA firework celebration she sat down and given James was next to her to busy looking at it she got lost in thoughts when she first met him. She only had bad impressions about RSA but he was the first to change her mind... helping her grow stronger and protecting her from people who tried to make her uncomfortable... AR first she really just saw him as a close companion to someone she loves to spend time with... however as she looked at him in this light things were lightly different... he did really remind her on some of those figures in her books she swooned about... not cause he was a night... but because of how he cared... She was just a friend of his boss and still he did often go out of his way to help her... this was where she realized her heart was beating and her face grew very red... as he looked at her in worry.

"Are you alright, do you have a fever, Carol?"

"I-i am fine... very fine... hehe he...."

God this was emberassing... however her curiosity was a bit big at this point and so she blurted things out...

"Hey James... um.. what do you think about me?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Just curious is all... I umm... try to get better at tutoring and want to know if I give the vibes I want others to feel..."

This was where she noticed his face was also a bit red... no he didn't... he probably is also just emberassed by the question... she denied the thought and listened...

"Well you are kind, pretty, caring, its easy to approach you and reliable also describes you... is that enough..."

She smiled back at him a bit blushing...

"For now that is enough for me, thank you."

She looked back at the fireworks... sitting next to him... she could sort out her feelings later... all she did know is that she got a crush on him but for now...it would be best to just enjoy this moment.

----

💋 - my muse covers yours in lipstick kisses

Kyosuke didn't know how he got into this situation but as he wanted to visit Emma she quickly dragged him in by the tie he was wearing and pushed him onto the bed... causing him to grow red quickly...

"E-Emma...wh-"

"Shh... just relax... I want to thank you a little for the last text you wrote... it made me feel so happy so for now, let me spoil you a little."

With a kiss on his lips she shut him up, softly biting his lips and withdrawing her head to unbutton his shirt and kiss him all over where she could reach his skin...

"Emma... please..."

"Tell me if you feel unwell and I stop."

"No please continue but..."

He pulled her closer to him and kissed her back...

"Let me help you a little when I can..."

Her smile was bright as she took his face into her hand and caressed it.....

"I am glad to have a sweetheart like you... now come here."

She pulled his face back to hers and in the end he was just full of lipsticks when he got out... his hair also chaotically ruffled.

#twisted wonderland oc #twst oc #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland ocs #twst #disney twst #twistedwonderland #twistedwonderlandoc #twst ocs #twisted wonderland fanschool #gregory x forte #gregory darknon #carol ann #carol x james #emma yuki #emma x kyosuke

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ukthxbye · 4 years ago

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This is All I’m Asking For

a slightly cracky fun Christmas Sherlolly fic

on ao3

Greg Lestrade welcomed the warmth of the nightclub as he stepped in. December is already icy and bleak, and for once the stuffy club a blessing from the chill.

John stayed posted near the door with a nod to him and Sherlock as both men pocketed their gloves. Greg handed his coat to the coat check, but Sherlock kept his as usual.

Greg scanned the room, eyes adjusting to the mixture of darkness, coloured lights, fairy light strands, and glittery clothes. Two Drag queens on stage set the crowded room into rolling laughter. Greg listened to their set and cackled at the banter.

Sherlock remained at his side, silent and wholly uninterested. Greg elbowed him in his side.

“We’re supposed to look like we’re out here after work.”

“Yes… we really look the type, don’t we?” Sherlock said with a mocking shake of his head.

Greg squinted and waved his hand, “Oh shut it.’

Sherlock spoke low near Greg's ear. “Yes.. plan is, the suspect in question slips out during the show. That’s the suspicion, anyway. John has the front covered.”

“And Sally the back,” Greg said, rubbing near his mouth to obscure in case there was a lip reader in the crowd. “We’re set. Talked to one performer yesterday, and they said they got a big holiday number tonight. The suspect was pretty miffed they were cut from it for a new girl, apparently. They’ve been stealing all the performers’ tips, but they got motive tonight,” Greg said with a smirk as he looked around Sherlock checking John’s location.

Sherlock shrugged as if in boredom, and Greg rolled his eyes as he sighed. “Look, it’s petty crime, but apparently they know some people in something bigger.”

“Bigger?”

Greg shrugged, considering taking the jacket off of his dark grey wool suit. “Yeah… drugs maybe? Hey, the performer I talked to said they chat about having a boyfriend in some sort of criminal organisation.”

“Hmm” is all Sherlock said with a sniff and returned to the mobile.

“You know something then?”

“Yes, your information is… well… but I’ll let you suss it all out. Consider it a Christmas gift.”

Greg shook his head but turned to see their informant approaching. He’d met the person out of drag, but Greg’s jaw dropped a little at the vision before him. Very fishy as the drag queens say, Greg mused as the informant slinked over in a red sequin gown.

She leaned against the bar, and Greg mirrored her.

“Hey darling, not sure if you remember—”

“Yeah… DI, after all, got to remember faces, even in disguise,” Greg said, flashing his boyish grin. “What do I call you tonight?”

“Anything you like if you keep smiling like that,” she grinned back with a wink.

Greg snickered, “So when does the show start?”

“Baby, the only show you need is right here,” the queen said. “Ms Shantala is a star just standing. You should see me dance.”

“Do I get that pleasure tonight?”

She bit her lip, tapping his arm lightly as she raised an eyebrow. “Later darling… or even later later if you like a different sort of—”

But another queen who rushed up whispering in Ms Shantala’s ear and with a quick nod she hurried off, blowing him a quick kiss.

Greg watched her walk away intently. Sherlock shot him a look and Greg shot one back chin raised. “What? I ain’t got a date for Christmas. You never know...”

“Hmm,” Sherlock murmured as she took off his scarf and placed it in his coat pocket, and glanced and raised an eyebrow at Greg.

A disinterested Sherlock wasn’t unusual, but tonight it irritated Greg.

“You got a date for Christmas so you can insult me?” Greg smirked.

Sherlock’s eyes widened and narrowed as he swallowed hard. Greg spied it and frowned.

“Of course I do not… anyway irrelevant… can we be seated for the show ?”

Sherlock pushed past him to avoid a group headed to the bar.

He contemplated the change in his friend but stored it away for later and put his thought to the task ahead.

Greg settled into his seat, and Sherlock beside him just in time for the stage lights dimmed out as the crowd cheered and clapped.

A small curtain opened as the song began, the tinkling notes of a familiar song. “Mariah Carey then” Greg murmured.

The spot landed on a figure on stage dressed in a red fur trimmed hooded floor length coat with their back to the hushed audience. They turned, but their face except for cherry red lips obscured as they moved their hand to their hood. On the lyric of “you”, they looked right at Sherlock and pointed. The piano and music came in and they lifted the hood.

Greg gasped and coughed.

Molly Hooper, dancing and lip syncing, right before them. Heavy makeup with smokey eyes and false eyelashes, but no denying it's her as she shimmied across the stage. Greg hardly noticed the two drag queens, including Ms Shantala, also spotlighted as the backup singers. Or the two shirtless male dancers, one dressed as an elf and the other as a reindeer.His stare locked on Molly dancing as she opened up the jacket revealing a body suit of red velvet with fur trim and a very low cut.

Greg’s elbow connected with Sherlock’s ribs but no response made him slap his arm until Sherlock slapped back.

Sherlock gritted out, “Why are you hitting me?”

“Sherlock. It’s Molly” Greg mouthed with exaggeration and pointed.

Sherlock rolled his eyes. “Yes, I can see that clearly.”

Greg glanced back at her, as she dropped the coat down to just the bodysuit which the low cut matched in the back as she twirled around and she danced to the other side of the stage for a setup with a prop with a fake fireplace one of the mail dancers wheeled on. The reindeer one wheeled a Christmas tree on the other side. Shock washed over Greg on multiple levels as she slid down the side of one dancer and back up seductively as they lifted her up under her arms.

Greg turned to Sherlock, not sure if he should even stare at Molly dressed like that, dancing like that, and Greg’s blood boiled immediately. Sherlock’s eyes on his mobile and typing.

He reached across with two hands on Sherlock’s mobile. They tugged, staring at the other silently. Greg struggled, but he whispered, “Look!’ and gripped hard, yanking away the device by the time Molly danced back around to in front of them. They both glanced at her, Greg shooting her a quick smile as she looked his way. But he stared back at his friend.

Sherlock bared his teeth at him.

Greg whispered, risking leaning in. “I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“Sure, Graham,” Sherlock mocked.

“Fucking hell, I swear to God—“

“You can glare all you want,” Sherlock huffed.

Greg looked back as the two dancers dropped fake snow on top of her.

“I’m throttling you after the song.” Greg demonstrated it with his hand as he whispered it loudly.

“O-kay” Sherlock smirked and rolled his eyes.

“Jesus Christ...Sherlock. ”

“What?”

Defeat washed over Greg as he leaned in so Sherlock could hear him. “God dammit man, she’s singing it to you, you fucking twat.”

Sherlock frowned deep. “Its lip-sync not singing you can clearly see by her breath she’s—”

“That’s it. Oh, no… mmm no ok I’m kicking your ass after this” Greg folded his arm and then unfolded them.

‘Wasn’t there a case you were supposed to do something?" Sherlock huffed.

“Well, this is more important now.”

“Is it?”

“Yes, pay... attention.” Greg pointed at the stage, holding Sherlock’s stare.

“If I do... will you give me my mobile back?”

The last line of the song approached. “ Make my wish come true” and Greg sucked in a hard breath. “I’m gonna kill you. “

“Fine!”

As the last “ You ” note started, Sherlock leapt up on stage and kissed her at the high note, holding her tight to him.

Crowd whooped and hollered and Greg sat stiff still with his jaw nearly on the floor.

Greg’s, and Sherlock’s mobile buzzed. Text from John about the criminal being in custody. Greg cocked his head to the side in thought, trying to piece it all together.

When he looked up at the stage, he saw the reason the crowd cheered again. Molly jumped up and wrapped her legs around as Sherlock placed his hands under her bum for support. Greg’s smile crept in despite the confusion and he clapped, forgetting the mobiles in his hand and nearly dropping them before shoving them in his pocket.

Ms Shantala cackled into the mic, “Yaaasss gurl yaasss! Climb him like a tree! We love love! Merry Christmas indeed, Sherlock Holmes!”

Greg stared at the couple now still clinging to each other but chatting with Ms Shantala as they exited the stage with a bow to much uproar and whistling from the crowd.

He smugly strode around the crowd to find Sherlock helping Molly put the coat back on.

Greg chuckled as he folded his arms “So—”

“We’ve been dating 6 months.” Sherlock smirked.

Once more thrown off. “What?” He glanced back and forth between Sherlock and Molly.

Molly bit her bottom lip and grinned, “It’s true. It was all part of the setup.”

Greg huffed. “Well, I was certainly distracted but not so sure about the suspect—”

“It’s really simple, George—”

“Greg,” Molly said, smacking Sherlock in the chest with her free hand.

Sherlock smirked at her, and then back at Greg. “Gregory, the suspect knew you were here, but he thought you would have arrested him. Us watching the show so intently, he saw your preoccupation and assumed he could leave unencumbered. He did not however bet on me, or John or Scotland Yard you placed outside.”

Greg rubbed his forehead and down his face, smiling wearily. “You could have just told me... any of it… all of it. I mean, congrats. God, I’m chuffed but… helluva way to find out. Next time just tell me.”

Sherlock glanced down at Molly, and they shared a mischievous smirk together.

Molly looked back at Greg, “Well now where’s the fun in that?”

#sherlolly #greg lestrade #sherlock holmes #molly hooper #comedy #ukthxbye

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the-bottom-of-the-abyss · 4 years ago

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A Playlist on Paradoxical Love

This is a true story about the abuse I suffered from a past relationship that I wrote for a college class. I feel that sharing may help me but also others in identifying abuse and/or helping others heal.

I have no idea if anyone will ever read this but it was so, so hard to write but in the end, getting my feelings out in one place seemed to help

HUGE TRIGGER WARNINGS: nongraphic sexual assault, mentions of rape, mentions of suicide, emotional abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, coercion, self deprecation

The Night We Met

The Night We Met by Lord Huron; This was our song, one that we thought was of love and fortune, but turned out to be of love and regret. The lyrics rang truer the longer we were together.

It was a warm and sunny day when she first met him. He was a new student from California, coming to her small town in West Virginia and happened to be in the percussion section with her in band. His voice caused butterflies to make a home in her young heart, igniting a spark she had not felt in the fifteen years she had been alive. He made her feel like she was something to want, always listening when others would not.

The week she met him other members of the band were going to a Drum Corps International show in Pittsburgh. Seeing it as an opportunity to get to know one another, the girl volunteered her mother to drive the girl and boy.

Her mother obliged, picking them up from the school parking lot and listened to the conversation being had in the backseat. The boy told the girl of a family full of abuse and an absence of love. The young girl felt her heart grow heavier with each story he recounted. He told her about his stepmother clawing his face, leaving the scar beneath his left eye. She wanted nothing but to heal the pain he held in his heart, to absorb all the hurt he felt.

By the end of the night, he had asked her to be his girlfriend to her delight. After dropping the boy off at his house, her mother turned to look at her with knowing eyes. She didn’t want her daughter hanging out with the boy; he was only trouble. The girl did not listen, deciding that her mother didn’t understand him. She wasn’t there when he made her laugh or looked at her like she hung the stars.

Her adamancy to be with him only grew. As a gift celebrating one month of being together, he gave her a box of things that reminded him of her. Inside, there were the type of mechanical pencils she liked with the thin lead she insisted on using. He picked out colored pens, knowing her obsession with collecting them and also put in scented hand sanitizer, knowing that she was running out of the bottle attached to her purse. To top it off there was a king size Kit-Kat bar, her favorite candy. The girl had never received a gift so thoughtful from anyone. No one had ever spent the time to curate something just for her.

He swept her off her feet and she couldn’t have been more infatuated.

***

Sometimes I look back to that girl and wonder how she didn’t see the danger. I was naïve then, so young and unafraid of the world. Other times I know her naivety wasn’t her fault. How was I supposed to know that the person that told me they loved me would become a monster?

His words were like honey, always promising to give me the world and more, appealing to my doe-eyed view of his love. He would listen to my ramblings and musings about life that most people I knew avoided for the sake of saving time. His touches were soft and gentle in a way I could have only dreamed of. I couldn’t have known that those sweet words would turn to phrases that felt like poison, subtle when spoken but deadly when left to linger. I couldn’t have known that the same ears that listened to me would become the same that ignored my pleas for him to hear what I was saying and not twist my words. I couldn’t have known that those hands that held mine would become the same that forced me to please him after I told him no.

My mother was right and in typical teenager fashion, I ignored her advice.

Tennessee Whiskey

Tennessee Whiskey by Chris Stapleton; We went to Tennessee but in addition to that, the lyrics of the song spoke to how warm and cared for he made me feel.

The sun-kissed days of summer gently rolled into the cool, crisp season of fall. While the breeze strengthened day by day, so did their relationship. She swore she had never been so happy, standing tall by his side, feeling like a goddess in his cornflower blue gaze. When it was announced the band would be traveling to Nashville, she excitedly waited for the day for the charter buses to arrive in the cracked parking lot of her school.

October had granted them a clear day for departure, and she sat in the seat next to him, watching mountains she grew up in turn to flat plains of the Midwest. The bus was loud, filled with gleeful voices of their peers, but talking to him made it fade into the background.

She suggested taking a small nap, to help pass the hours of driving straight ahead. He declined, explaining he was an insomniac, and told her to rest without him. The girl convinced him to lay on her lap and decided to sing softly to him, as he did tell her once she had the voice of an angel. Somber tones of “The A Team” by Ed Sheeran floated from her to him for an hour before his breathing evened out.

The first day in Athens of the South flew by, taken up by the bone-tired exhaustion of the long trip and unpacking. On their second day, she dressed in her jazz band uniform, preparing for their recording in Studio B. The boy complimented her red blouse and dress pants as she stepped out of the hotel elevator, making her blush. She thought the uniform was unflattering and too formal to be worthy of his praise.

After the recording, the boy hugged her and told her how good she did and how proud he was. Proud. Someone was proud of her, of her performance. People had told her that she had talent and extended their compliments but none of it meant as much as his.

When the trip ended, she was woeful wishing for more time to escape any commitments back in her hometown. She reminded herself that there was always the Friday night lights that graced their football field and the memories it would bring. The girl was so excited to spend those nights on the field with the boy. The band would dive into the halftime show and afterwards, she could show him what a pepperoni roll was.

*** I sometimes look at pictures I still have from the trip to Nashville. I looked so happy and sure of myself. I thought of myself as a true grown-up back then, not knowing what the future would bring. He was so good to me, and even though there were signs here and there, nothing stood out as dangerous. There was no blaring siren, screeching to evacuate before the ship went down. We had only been dating a few months then, but he told me he felt like he knew my soul from a past life. He knocked on the door to my heart, and I opened it without a second thought, believing every promise he made.

I’m Your Puppet

I’m Your Puppet by Gregory and The Hawk; the lyrics “and I’ll undress, if you need it. But please don’t need it” is an accurate way to tell how fucked up my psyche was after this.

They were on the way home from a friend’s graduation party; it was exuberant, a great celebration of their mutual friend. The boy asked the girl if she wanted to pull over somewhere and fool around. It wasn’t even close to being the first time they had been together like that; they were actually each other’s first times. She was a little reluctant, hesitating to do anything that may land her in trouble. He told her that everything would be fine, so she relented, and the car pulled behind a small row of storage containers.

They both climbed in the backseat. A kiss was shared between the two, only lasting a few seconds before the boy pulled away from the girl’s shining lips.

“Can you give me a blowjob?” He asked her, looking with pleading eyes. “I don’t really want to,” she said, evading his piercing gaze, “I’m not really feeling it.” His face twisted, showing his disapproval at her response. “Come on, you never want to.

What happened to the girl who said she’d always be down to do stuff like this?” “No,” she told him, “I don’t want to.” The girl only had done it a few times, but she had almost thrown up once, and she didn’t want a repeat of that. She hoped that refusing again would make him stop asking.

He rolled his eyes and scoffed, “This is what you do when you’re in a relationship.” The girl went to object but didn’t get the chance. He opened the door and got out of the car, pulling her with him so they were standing in the gravel.

“I don’t want to,” the girl said, feeling panic rise, “let’s just have sex instead.”

“It won’t take very long,” he urged with a forceful edge that made her insides twist. With that, he put pressure on her shoulder to have her sink to her knees.

He said it wouldn’t take very long but it felt like eons to her. The rocks in the gravel pushed into the skin on her knees and that’s what she focused on. If she focused only on the pain, maybe everything else would cease to exist. She knew the boy saw tears rolling down her cheeks and heard the small, muffled sobs that escaped her. He only looked at her with lust, not giving a damn about how she was terrified, how he was making her feel.

After he finished, he pulled her up off the rocks, and helped her back in the car. Only once she felt the leather below her did she begin to full out sob. Instead of the harsh figure from moments before, she was met with the boy she knew, the one who loved her.

He pulled the girl into his lap and rocked her as she cried. “Shh,” he cooed. “I’m so sorry, I never should have done that. Please forgive me.” The girl nodded and buried her face in the crook of his neck, letting herself be calmed by his soothing voice. “We don’t have to do anything else,” he said.

To prove to him that she forgave him, she shook her head. “No, it’s fine,” she sniffled, “I’m fine.”

Once it was over, they drove home in complete silence.

***

That day still haunts me. It wasn’t the first time he had coerced me into something. It was far from the last, but it was the one time he legitimately forced me to do something I didn’t want to do and acknowledge it.

I blocked it out for a long time, trying to go on with life as normal. I only realized how wrong it was when I talked to a friend of mine who went through something similar. Even then, I brushed it off and told myself he didn’t mean it. It took even longer for me to see it as sexual assault. I still only remember the overview of what happened, the rest is somewhere in my mind, somewhere that it can’t hurt me. The one thing I remember is the gravel on my knees. The indents I saw when I got home that afternoon were the only things showing that it had truly happened.

This point marked when he knew he could manipulate me. I was so scared of doing something wrong, of disappointing people, disappointing him. At the notion I was beginning to become something he didn’t like, I tried my hardest to become what he said he needed.

If I think about what happened too much, I feel sick, like I need to take a scalding shower and scrub the memory out of existence.

Poison

Poison by Sofia Mills; This song brought me back to the hazy feeling of being high out of my mind and believing my person was the one pushing the drugs into my hands.

She had never gotten high before. The boy once told her he would never touch a drug, but that statement faded into explanations about how he wanted to live life. She was wary, weed was very different from the nicotine they both let swirl in their lungs. He told her for two months about how great it was until she agreed to try. She lied to her parents; the couple had been dating for a little over a year, but the girl’s parents still tried to limit their time together. Instead, she told them it would be a few of her friends from band sleeping over and that the boy wouldn’t be there.

The smoke burned in her chest; it left a distinct aftertaste she wouldn’t forget. Everything was fine until her body started to reject the hazy feeling trying to overtake her. She got sick, a feeling she absolutely loathed. Her friends gave her water and she sat curled in a ball on a chair outside, shivering as the high feeling started to crescendo. The boy stayed outside and told her she’d be okay. He grabbed a wet washcloth and dabbed her clothes before cleaning the hair framing her face. It was in that moment that she only thought of him.

No one else would ever do this for me, she thought. He loves me more than anyone ever has. I am so lucky.

*** That wasn’t the last time I got high. We would smoke at our friend’s house every weekend, spending lazy evenings in each other’s’ arms. That night in particular, I felt so special that someone other than my own mother would clean me up after getting sick and later help me feebly crawl up the stairs.

Wrong Direction

Wrong Direction by Hailee Steinfield; the lyrics “Every time you burn me down, don’t know how, for a moment, it felt like heaven” kind of explains what it was like when looking back on abusive relationships. Back then, the moment of the apology felt like a huge act of love, but now it’s obvious it was just an empty promise.

She had just gotten off a shift at work and got into his car, the clock showing a time around ten at night. The girl already told him that she felt too tired to do anything, but she would be alright for just cuddling before he drove her home. He nodded and drove across the street to the abandoned K-Mart and parked in the middle of the barren lot.

They got in the backseat and she leaned her head on his shoulder and told him about a tough customer she had to deal with. The boy listened to her and waited until her rant flickered into silence.

“Are you sure you don’t want to do anything?”

“Yeah,” she replied, “I’m so exhausted, I’ve been on my feet all day and worked an eight- hour shift.”

“Come on,” he urged, “we never do anything anymore.” She felt exhaustion seeping into her bones, and for the first time, didn’t give in, “No, I am too tired, I want to go home and sleep.”

Instead of agreeing she should get some sleep, he shrugged her head off his shoulder. She tried to reach for his arm, but he yanked it away from her and harshly rolled his eyes. “Babe?” She asked, not fully understanding what was happening.

The boy ignored her concerned gaze and opened the backseat door, loudly slamming it shut before getting into the driver’s seat. The girl took it as her cue to get into the passenger’s side. As he started the car, she once again reached for his hand that rested on the gear shift. Without looking in her direction, he moved his hand to the steering wheel, so quickly that it seemed as though her touch burned him. A permanent scowl took resident on his face and she tried again to talk to him.

“Babe? Please talk to me,” she pleaded, feeling the dread crawl into her throat. With no response, tears started to fall. The road to her house felt so much longer, filled with continuous pleas for him to talk to her, to say anything.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed, “I was just really tired. I’m really sorry, please forgive me.” There was no mistaking the sorrow in her voice, the boy knew she was crying, even if he refused to look.

He pulled into her driveway, looking straight ahead as she gathered her coat and purse. Before getting out she tried to lean over to kiss him, but he leaned away.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated before getting out, “I love you.” To her surprise, he didn’t respond. When she shut the door, he immediately backed out, leaving her tear-stained and feeling helpless.

When the boy apologized to her the next day, she forgave him immediately.

***

I have read that emotional abusers utilize the silent treatment because of how effective it is. After refusing him, the stonewalling struck me at my core, my worst fear coming true: becoming something he didn’t want anymore. I never stood my ground again after that. When he would want sex after that night, it would go one of two ways. I would still say no about ten times before he pulled a line that made me so full of guilt that I did what he wanted, or I promised “next time.”

In My Veins

In My Veins by Andrew Belle; This song really emphasizes the pain of the hole that is left when someone with such a stable place in your life. It feels like all that is left is their ghost.

“I don’t think we should be together anymore, Emily.” “What? What are you even talking about?” “I just need to find myself.” “What the fuck does that even mean? How can you just leave? I love you, please, we can work it out.”

“I’m sorry, I just think it’s for the best.”

*** The first time we broke up was over the phone while I was on a weekend vacation. It came after I kept pushing him to apply to college since he was going to be graduating later that year. I calculated what it would cost for him to live off minimum wage while paying rent and he got so angry. He broke up with me because he was getting annoyed with my insistence on going to college or a technical school. He hated when I got on him to not skip school or to stop smoking so much weed. He made me feel like I was so awful for trying to help him succeed. No one has ever made me feel like a burden in the way he did.

A week after, he came to my house and told me that he didn’t realize what he had until it was gone and I ultimately took him back, truly believing he would change.

Terrible Love

Terrible Love by The National; this point really marked the realization that I was in a toxic cycle of what I thought was love.

It was about thirty minutes before the girl was to perform with the jazz band for a Christmas concert. She had asked the boy to come, but he said he had plans already. This wasn’t surprising considering he left early from school on her birthday to get high. The girl settled for texting him instead.

She asked him what he was up to and he replied that he didn’t want to tell her, as she would get upset. Immediately, the girl felt worry build. Thousands of possibilities fleeted across her consciousness of he was indulging in. After pleading for him to tell her, for her own sanity, he relented and told her that he was going to be doing MDMA for the first time with a mutual friend he lived with. The girl felt irritation mixed with desperation bubble up inside her. He swore he would never do anything besides smoke weed but once again, he trampled over any promises ever made.

She texted him a long paragraph about how irresponsible it was and that he could get into so much trouble. He told her how uptight she was and how she was keeping him from living his life. The girl was fed up and told him not to text her for the rest of the night. It was a justified reaction, but her anxiety only told her she was a shitty partner for not indulging him.

She was so upset, so anxious about what he was doing and how in the recent months had been throwing his life away. He had recently began insisting that he would be fine living off of her in the future until he figured out what to do. The night went on with her panic staying at a fever pitch.

The next day the girl texted her best friend, the same one he was with, and ranted about the situation, hoping that the friend would see why she was so torn up. They had the following exchange:

The girl: He even said I wasn’t going to like what you guys were going to do. Because he knew I’d be super against it. But he said it was fine and it wasn’t a big deal and that I was overreacting. I don’t think I am. I just needed someone to talk to last night because I cried and just went over in my head what the hell I could do to help him. It’s not just this. It’s all of it. He doesn’t do his homework, skips school, or leaves because he feels like it, has no motivation and no desire to do the things he needs to. When you love someone so much all you want to do is see them succeed. Idk maybe I’m just an uptight bitch and a shit person but I do know I want the best for him.

Friend: You act like I want to see him fail. I don’t, Emily. I want him to succeed just as much as you do but I also want him to live his life to the fullest. Everyone needs to have quality of life or it isn’t worth living.

The girl: I never said you wanted to. I know you want to see him succeed just as much as I do. But I know for a fact if he doesn’t get himself together, there’s not much of a life to live. It sucks but life is hard and it’s not easy. No matter who you are, it’s never going to be easy. If he doesn’t graduate high school, there’s not much he can do. Even fast-food places can only pay minimum wage without a high school diploma and to be a manager you need a high school diploma. I’m looking for his future, not the next few months. If he wants to live in an apartment, he needs money. His dad isn’t always going to give him that. To get money, a decent job is required. Minimum wage won’t be enough. And he just doesn’t care. I try to make up for it and I try and try to push him to do his homework, to study, to make good grades. But it never works.

Friend: I’m upset rn so I’m not going to respond atm. I will text you later and we can talk about it then, okay?

The girl: Okay be safe. Please don’t show him all this unless you think necessary. I don’t want him to be mad at me because it makes me feel like the shittiest person on earth when people are mad at how I feel and like I shouldn’t tell people how I feel anymore.

*** It is hard to explain the way I felt when he told me he was going to do MDMA. My reaction wasn’t due to the drug itself, but more about the stereotypical, lazy deadbeat he had become. He once tried to impress me by telling me he brought up an 8% to a 32% in an easy class.

I felt responsible for the way he was. I thought I could fix him, that I would be able to pull him out of the headspace he was in and bring him back to who he used to be. Back then, I didn’t realize he had always been that way, only getting more obvious because I never called him out on it, save for a few times.

I recently found those texts while drafting out this paper. Reading them teleports me into the headspace I once held. Back then, I believed that I needed to help him along with the small voice that told me he was right, that I was overreacting. Now I know that my reaction was justified, I should’ve held him accountable by breaking up with him on the spot. But like many times before, I didn’t. I clung on to the hope that not all was lost, there was still time.

Honey and Milk

Honey and Milk by Flower Face; there are some lyrics in this song that really frame how the end of such a toxic relationship felt like. “And the love you made me fight for was never love at all. The red light shines through the window and I’ve got a black eye for every bed you’ve made. The honey and milk on my fingertips was never enough to make you stay.”

It was mid-April, spring out in full force when she couldn’t get ahold of him. Most days, she would have chalked it up to him deciding he wasn’t in the mood to go to school, but the day before, he swore he’d be there.

Halfway through the day, she saw him approaching in the hallway. The relief that filled her didn’t last long, though.

“We got busted last night,” he told her. “What?” “Yeah, we got caught with weed in the car and I got a drug charge.” The girl shouldn’t have been so shocked, but she was. Even worse, she shouldn’t have felt relief that he was handing her a reason to leave him on a silver platter. She finally had enough of the coercion in the bedroom, his confidence that she would never leave, and feeling like a burden.

“I can’t believe this,” she stated, shaking her head. “I’ll talk to you later; I need to think.”

The girl called him later, knowing that if she saw his face, she wouldn’t go through with it. She told him that she was done. He cried for the first time over her and told her that he wanted to take his own life. He went on for hours about how he was going to kill himself without her. The girl felt guilt settle in the forefront of her mind. She told the boy it was going to be alright and comforted him, trying to keep him calm, truly believing that he would leave his blood staining her hands.

She cried for hours after hanging up the phone. But she wasn’t crying for him, she was crying for the girl she used to be. It was almost two years that he had her in his clutches, two years of playing into his twisted games.

While she did feel used and irrevocably damaged, she could finally breathe. She was free.

*** I never went back to him, but not for a lack of him trying. I got myself as far away as possible and it was the best decision I ever made.

New Person, Old Place

New Person, Old Place by Madi Diaz; I struggled for a long time for a song that captured at least something close to my real feelings. This song captures the sadness, the trauma, and the moving on. I think that it really adds to the feelings of realization of how much I sacrificed for him: “I used to take all of your shit and carry it on my back. I’d leave what I needed behind to make room for whatever you had. I believed that I had to be strong just for you, so you wouldn’t crack”

I have thought again and again what I was going to end my story with. The optimistic and empathetic part of me yearns for a happy ending. I want people to know it gets better and feel hopeful. But the much larger, aching side of me wants to tear down the mended façade I have built and scream out all the hurt.

Most days I feel that I’m made up of an alphabet soup of emotions I couldn’t even begin to decipher. In one moment, I feel okay again and understand that I didn’t deserve what happened, but it is over. The next is filled with visceral recollections of all the worst parts that reignites every antagonistic thought. It truly feels like my psyche is in a never-ending pendulum, swinging between healing and absolute and total self-destruction.

While my thoughts on the matter are contradictory from one day to another, I think I have come to a few conclusions. I know that I am not okay, and I probably won’t be for a while. I cannot lie to myself by saying the shaking in my hands that accompanies thinking back is due to the cold instead of a physical reaction to trauma. I also have come to realize that I am so fucking angry, and I am allowed to be. A lot of people say that forgiveness is the way to healing but I think that is bullshit. I will never forgive him for what he did to me. He stole my naivety from underneath me and forced me to thank him. How can you forgive something like that?

Many don’t understand why survivors stay in abusive relationships if it is so awful. The problem is that it wasn’t always bad. There were times that I felt like I was on top of the world and others where he yanked me down to hell. I believed I deserved what he did, that I wasn’t worth anything more. He made me believe he was the only one that would love me.

It’s funny how trauma works. While he assaulted my body and tortured my mind, I mislabeled it as love, as flaws that I needed to accept since he loved mine. I didn’t start to notice the way he changed me until months later. Even now, almost two years since the day I left, I’m still tormented by the aftereffects. Over the course of writing about my ordeal, I tremble for hours, physically reacting to reliving the experiences, no matter how healing it is.

Suffering from abuse at such a formative age, fifteen to seventeen, left its mark on my psyche, etched deep inside. Because of this, I want others to know how to escape and that no one is responsible for the actions of others. Even if he was abused himself, he chose to continue the cycle and use me as a scapegoat for all his problems in life. I am grateful for one thing though; I will never, ever let myself be treated like that again. I would rather be alone than suffer the way that I did.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that most stories don’t have a happy ending; instead, most end in a nameless limbo between good and bad. My story falls into that majority. Many bad things happened, and they continue to come back again and again, like a stray that only found shelter in my mind. There is still so much that haunts me daily, but I also know that it is not all bad.

My soul is still covered with the ominous clouds his presence brought but every day, more slivers of sunlight poke through, causing flowers to bloom where it was once barren. One day, a full garden will grow and take over the parts of me that he singlehandedly ripped apart. One day, I will not feel so empty about the ordeal.

One day, I will be okay again.

#Trigger warning #tw #tw abuse #tw r*pe #tw sex assault #abuse #emotional abuse #trauma #intimate partner violence #domestic abuse #gaslighting #toxic relationship #abusive relationship #actuallytraumatized #coercion

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raevenlywrites · 4 years ago

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The Ties That Bind 2 of ???

“What were you thinking?”

Rei exploded, frayed ends of his nerves finally snapping. It was enough to snap me out of my shocked horror, the dread that had taken me in the hallway. Seeing both sides, so ready to fight--

“Rei, this has to stop!”

We stood in the violence charged aura of the room, muscles still singing with unused adrenaline. The tension trembled through me, a humming string just waiting to be released. I couldn’t help but see Zane’s coiled readiness in Rei’s tensed hands, as he clenched and unclenched his fists, trying to burn off some of that fighting edge.

“He tries to kill you,” Rei said with a forced calm I knew he didn’t yet feel, “and you jump to defend him?”

“If he’d wanted to kill me,” I bit back, “he could have done so over an hour ago when he’d first arrived.”

Rei stared at me, scanning me from head to foot for some hidden injury. Then he looked me over again, taking in my interrupted attempts to dress for bed, and it was only when color rose to his cheeks and his gaze darted quickly to the side that I realized what he must think.

“You too?” I cried. “What is it about my unbuttoned blouse that makes every man that sees me think I have no virtue left?”

I clutched my arms tight about myself, partly to comfort myself, and partly to keep from slapping my guard and lifelong friend. I didn’t know what infuriated me more: that Zane thought he’d interrupted me and Andreios, or that Andreios somehow thought he’d interrupted me and Zane.

“Dani, I didn’t--“

“Didn’t sweep the room for her safety, or didn’t do you duty and slay the villain while you had the chance?”

We both whirled to see my mother, standing in imperial fury, flanked by all our people, and half the Mistari guards.

Rei dropped to one knee, fist to his chest in the deepest salute our people had to offer. The guards didn’t usually bother--it left them utterly defenseless--but my mother had already murdered Rei on the spot with her words, so what did it matter, the safety of his body?

“My lady--“

“Oh get up, Andreios. You won’t do anyone any good down there.”

Rei snapped to his feet, tall and still and perfect as any carved soldier. Only the furious crimson of his face gave any indication that his heart still beat.

“Mother--“

“Button your blouse, Danica, and put on your boots. We’re leaving.”

“Mother!”

The Mistari guards all flinched at my raised voice, anticipating further violence. I thought again of the scene in the hall, our little armies ready to clash, our insatiable war threatening to spread.

This had to stop.

“We just got here; we’re tired. In the morning--“

“In the morning we will be half-way home--flying over the remains of a failed ambush.”

“I-- what?”

I stared at mother, uncomprehending.

“The messenger came just now. General Cadmia found spies in the woods, waiting to shoot us down on our return. We must leave now, before they discover their plot has failed and regroup.”

“There’s no way. Irene assured us their soldiers had pulled back--“

“They lied, Shardae. It’s what they do.”

Apparently, so had we. Or else how would we have known their soldiers hadn’t retreated as promised?

I wanted to stay, to see if the Disa might offer some less outrageous suggestion, or if I had simply misunderstood her intention in my exhaustion from the long flight. But I also wanted to speak with my generals, and discover why they had ignored a direct order from their Tuuli Thea.

Assuming she had given it.

I let my flight lead me back home, fleeing the problem of Zane Cobriana, and fearing I was returning to a much bigger one. - “Routine maneuvers,” General Rinnman said. The raven was three score my senior, and one of the oldest among us. Our people could be quite long lived, if not cut down prematurely in battle. Rinnman and the other generals all had varying degrees of grey at their temples, but their bodies remained sculpted and sharp. While the generals did not engage directly in most battles, they still trained daily with their soldiers, each knowing every member of their flights and their exact capabilities. The Royal Flight was the best of the best, and most that survived to step back from active duty became our army’s generals.

My army’s generals.

“You had been ordered to stand down,” I repeated, not satisfied with the dismissive nature of his answer. This wasn’t my first time attending a meeting of the generals’ council. It was, however, the first time I had called one.

The flight home had done nothing to calm my doubts; the constant vigilance of Rei and the rest of the flight had only heightened my unease. I summoned my generals to me almost the instant we’d landed. The agitated guard had hastened to obey; the restless soldiers in the yard buzzed with the potential for action. I hated the sense of approval from them, that they were glad their soon to be queen was ready to act so swiftly. On the one hand it was true; I was primed and anxious for action. But it wasn’t for any battle or fray they would be taking part in.

“We have to keep up our conditioning,” General Viridian said. He was closer to my mother’s age than Rinnman. He had the grace to look somewhat apologetic in his explanation.

“The soldiers were restless, on edge. Sending them on scouting maneuvers made them feel less like sitting ducks.”

“We were sitting ducks,” Rinnman insisted. “Or would have been, if the scouting parties hadn’t found them out--“

“How do you know they weren’t scouting parties?” I demanded. The half dozen men just stared at me.

“How do you know the serpiente soldiers weren’t just doing exactly as you were, burning off nervous energy on routine maneuvers?” I pinned Rinnman with my molten gold eyes as I said it.

Rinnman bloviated, but in the end, didn’t have a good answer. None of them did. I called an end to the meeting with a pounding headache, insisting once again that we stand down. I told my generals that if they needed to fly scouting parties that was all well and good, but that their scouts were to report back before any actual engagement. I also gave them permission to put teams on additional fortifications, if they had that much energy to burn, around the outlying farms and settlements that lay between the serpiente and the Keep. Too long, those parts of our lands had been left more or less on their own, with the large focus of our forces spent on defending the keep itself, or engaged on the bloody fields that stood in the empty stretches between us and the serpiente. Like a scar on the land, those stretches of forest and field lay empty of any habitation for generations. I wondered nonsensically as I prepared for bed if all those years of blood would yield richer crops, or anything could be grown there at all. -- I dreamed of Zane, of Rei, of Vasili. The only thing that allowed me to sleep at all I think was exhaustion. I had been up for nearly two days straight by the time I’d finally retired. It mirrored my emotional weariness perfectly, and made for unshakable slumber.

My dreams walked a familiar path, adding little detours here and there but remaining mostly unchanged. I would dream of my most recent walk through the fields of blood--this time seeing the red of Gregory’s eyes leaking out in crimson tears to stain the world and leave his eyes grey and hollow and lifeless--and inevitably I would find myself a small child again, chasing after Rei, who had gone out to find his missing father...

“Rei...”

I called out for my friend, finding the man who would be my guard, and in the way of dreams he was somehow both Rei and Vasili, my fallen alastair. I had been too young when I’d lost him to remember much, so my mind often substituted the relationship I’d built with Rei for the man who should have had his place. I let myself fall into his arms, taking care and comfort in dreams in a way I wished I knew how to do in my waking life.

I turned my face up to him, but somehow it was a garnet gaze that looked back at me.

It's not a dealbreaker for me, he’d said. We both have heirs to produce.

“Give me back my alastair,” I muttered to the dream, burying my face in his chest. It was a nice chest, broader and more muscled than his avian counterpart. Counterpart. Goddess, what a thought. What my mother and the other scandalized hoverhawks would think if they could hear me now.

“Not your alastair yet,” the dream Zane mused lightly. “I believe that was the point of all this?”

He gestured around us to the Mistari hall, grown up around us in the way of dreams. Though the ground was still the blood-stained grass and undergrowth of our own lands. But now tigers had been added to the fallen dead, my sick premonition of our war spreading come to life in my awful, unshakable dreams. Why couldn’t I believe in peace with as much certainty as I dreamed of war?

I turned away from the carnage, waking just enough to feel myself rolling over in my bed. Almost enough to wake, almost, but never quite enough. Zane’s voice was soft behind me.

“I wish we’d had a real chance to talk,” it said. I did my best to ignore it, willing my dreams to shift.

“I can’t say,” he continued, and his voice sounded closer now. I hugged my pillow closer to me, whimpering softly in my desperation to wake, or change dreams, or something. Anything but this fitting torment of my guilty subconscious. I should have tried harder to stay. I shouldn’t have let my mother bully me out of the peace talks. She could have flown back to deal with the generals--

“I think I could learn to love you, Danica, impossible as it seems.”

The dream’s voice sounded directly in my ear, the breath of my guilty apparition brushing across my cheek. I thought I felt the barest caress of lips on my temple, as if this facsimile of my enemy could somehow absolve me and release me from my nightmares. He leaned over me and pressed something into my hand, a talisman against further bloodshed.

“Come chase better dreams with me,” he whispered, closing my clutching fingers around something smooth and hard. I gripped it the way I wanted to grip him, to hold any hand in this unending morass of memory and horror. It was said the first hawks could sing beautiful visions into their dreams, the first songs of my people being more spell than sound. Apparently all that remained of those gifts was a penchant for lucid mocking nightmares.

“It was meant to be my eldest sister’s.” The dream of Zane was starting to fade, retreating into the dark as the next dream prepared to take his place. Would I dream now of brutalized infants, or crushed eggs in a nest of hawks and serpents alike?

“I hope you will consider wearing it.” He laughed, a dark sound. “Grim as it may be. I’m afraid everything I have to offer you will be somewhat bloodstained.”

“Your majesty, we have to leave.”

That new voice almost startled me to wakefulness. But even the familiar unfamiliar voice was not enough to break me from my wretched nightmares.

The Ties That Bind Tag list: @thehellinsideyourhead @therecouldbecolorsandlove

Raev’s Gen Tag List (should I tag you guys in this? It IS a thing I wrote. I’m gonna say yes unless you guys are like “no of course not we’re sick of hearing about your stupid fic for a twenty year old book XD)

List is currently: @lordkingsmith @writinglyra @drbibliophile @mperialscribe @adie-dee @lexiklecksi @writinginslowmotion

#raev does fic #hawksong fic #hawksong #the kiesha'ra #kiesha'ra fanfic #the ties that bind #danica shardae #zane cobriana #andreios

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thevoilinauttheory · 5 years ago

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Music Profile

Rules: For many of us, music is a source of inspiration for our characters, so I want to know what songs inspire and/relate to your muse! Choose between 10-15 songs, compile them into an album and tag some friends to share the beat!

As tagged by @lukawarrioroflight so very, very, very long ago. You made me do a bad thing - which was spend at least 3 hours compiling a list of 10 songs for each of the characters I roleplay the most. M’nhea’s will come first - since I haven’t thought too much about songs for him - and all the others (Maximiloix, Danny, and Amosis) will be listed under the cut. These songs aren’t in a specific order~

I’m going to pick up the tags again for once, so I’m tagging: @renofmanyalts, @jasleh, @amdapori, @prodigalsong, @spotofmummery, @journeybetweenworlds, @astralyehga, @houserosaire, @cadrenebula, @ever-searching, @munchix-home-cooking, @egrine

M’nhea Tia:

Silhouettes - Of Monsters and Men

There's nothing that I'd take back But it's hard to say there's nothing I regret Cause when I sing, you shout I breathe out loud You bleed, we crawl like animals But when it's over, I'm still awake

Coming of Age - Foster the People

When my fear pulls me out to sea And the stars are hidden by my pride and my enemies I seem to hurt the people that care the most Just like an animal, I protect my pride When I'm too bruised to fight And even when I'm wrong, I tend to think I'm right

RUNAWAY - half.alive

I hold my life out in front of me, dreams of who I want to be I'm seeing every empty page But I find that everything I am is everything I should be I don't need to run away I don't need to run away Yeah I don't need to run away

The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy

Hey young blood Doesn't it feel like our time is running out? I'm gonna change you like a remix Then I'll raise you like a phoenix Wearing our vintage misery No, I think it looked a little better on me I'm gonna change you like a remix Then I'll raise you like a phoenix

Knights of Cydonia - Muse

No one's gonna take me alive The time has come to make things right You and I must fight for our rights You and I must fight to survive

It’s Not My Fault, I’m Happy - Passion Pit

It's not right, it's not right How am I the only one who sees us fight? What are we? Who are they? Who says those bastards don't deserve to pay? Well it's enough, it's just enough 'cause we don't stand a chance So long you stay around, you're just another song and dance It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair Still I'm the only one who seems to care

Hunger - Of Monsters and Men

Hungry for the kill, but this hunger, it isn't you Voices disappear when you are speaking, in somber tunes I will be the wolf and when you're starving, you'll need it too Hungry for the kill, but this hunger, it isn't you It isn't you, it isn't

The Best - AWOLNATION

I'm hardly perfect I'm barely good Just shy of greatness Ah-ah I'm heavy metal And hollow wood Just shy of patience Ah-ah

Titanium - David Guetta, ft. Sia

Cut me down, but it's you who'll have further to fall Ghost town and haunted love Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones I'm talking loud, not saying much

I Just Wanna Shine - Fitz & The Tantrums

So I wake up I get out of bed, and stay up Stay out of my head 'Cause it's dangerous And I don't wanna lose my mind, no

Maximiloix:

Warrant - Foster the People

Fear is like a fake friend It warms you up and takes you in You mouth the words but no sound comes out Fear is like your best friend Manipulates and takes you in You mouth the words No sound again

Choke - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Now shut your dirty mouth If I could burn this town I wouldn't hesitate To smile while you suffocate and die And that would be just fine What a lovely time That it would surely be So bite your tongue and choke yourself to sleep

Punching in a Dream - The Naked and Famous

All the lights go down as I crawl into the spaces Fight, flight, or the screams, life tearing at the seams Wait, I don't ever want to be here Like punching in a dream, breathing life into my nightmare

I Am a Nightmare - Brand New

So come shake your Zen out And give me pure energy My heart is glowing fluorescent, I want you to possess it I’m not a prophecy come true I’ve just been goddamn mean to you So what is this thing laced with Please, don't replace me I surrender, embrace me Whatever I'm faced with

Crystals - Of Monsters and Men

I know I'll wither so peel away the bark 'Cause nothing grows when it is dark In spite of all my fears, I can see it all so clear I see it all so clear

Crown of Love - Arcade Fire

They say it fades if you let it Love was made to forget it I carved your name across my eyelids You pray for rain, I pray for blindness

Thank God I’m Not You - Himalayas

You could call me narcissistic You could say I'm of no worth You could call me the scorn of Satan But I could be so much worse

To My Enemies - Saint Motel

You know that talk is cheap Keep talkin' as I turn my cheek You know that no one really cares (Did you know that, did you know that?) It wasn't that long ago You wanted to slit my throat To find out if my blood bleeds blue (Did you know that, did you know that?)

An Honest Mistake - The Bravery

Sometimes I forget I'm still awake I fuck up and say these things out loud My old friend... I swear I never meant for this I never meant...

Forgive Me Friend - Smith & Thell

'Cause I fell in the hole, in the hole, in the hole My heart was turning cold, turning cold, turning cold I never wanted this to end, can you forgive me friend?

Danny:

Upside Down & Inside Out - OK Go

I wish I had said the things you thought that I had said Gravity's just a habit that you're really sure you can't break So when you met the new you Were you scared? Were you cold? Were you kind? Yeah when you met the new you Did someone die inside?

Houdini - Foster the People

Got shackles on, my words are tied Fear can make you compromise With the lights turned up, it's hard to hide Sometimes I wanna disappear

Dance Dance Dance - 65daysofstatic

[Instrumental]

Cradles - Sub Urban

Tape my eyes open to force reality (Oh no, no) Why can’t you just let me eat my weight in glee? I live inside my own world of make-believe Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities Some days I feel skinnier than all the other days Sometimes I can't tell if my body belongs to me

Fire - Barnes Courtney

Oh, a thousand faces staring at me Thousand times I've fallen Thousand voices dead at my feet Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone

Meet Me in the Woods - Lord Huron

I have seen what the darkness does Say goodbye to who I was I ain't never been away so long Don't look back, them days are gone Follow me into the endless night I can bring your fears to life Show me yours and I'll show you mine Meet me in the woods tonight

Simmer - Hayley Williams

Control There's so many ways to give in Eyes closed Another way to make it to ten Oh, how to draw the line between wrath and mercy? Gotta simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer down

Rawnald Gregory Erickson the Second - STRFKR

All my life There you go Oh please stay Just this once Anyway

Cigarette Daydreams - Cage the Elephant

Funny how it seems like yesterday As I recall you were looking out of place Gathered up your things and slipped away No time at all I followed you into the hall Cigarette daydream You were only seventeen So sweet with a mean streak Nearly brought me to my knees

In the Woods Somewhere - Hozier

The creature lunged I turned and ran To save a life I didn't have Dear, in the chase There as I flew Forgot all prayers Of joining you

Amosis:

Vy från ett luftslott - Kent

Där missilerna möts De viskar: hålen i himlen ska bli våran död Ovanför molnen Där djävulen bor De viskar: hålen i himlen är från hans klor

Where the missiles meet They whisper: the holes in the heavens will be our death Above the clouds Where the devil lives They whisper: the holes in the heavens are from his claws

Panic Station - Muse

Ooh, 1, 2, 3, 4 fire's in your eyes And this chaos, it defies imagination Ooh, 5, 6, 7 minus 9 lives And I know that you will fight for the duration Ooh, 1, 2, 3, 4 fire's in your eyes And you know I'm not resisting your temptations Ooh, 5, 6, 7 minus 9 lives You've arrived at panic station

Destruction - Joywave

I wanna know who you told 'til they're all laying on the floor Frozen to the core I wanna know who you told 'til it's nobody anymore Nobody anymore

Little Dark Age - MGMT

I grieve in stereo The stereo sounds strange You know that if it hides It doesn't go away If I get out of bed You'll see me standing all alone Horrified On the stage My little dark age

The Wolf - SIAMÉS

I’m out of my head Of my heart and my mind 'Cause you can run but you can’t hide I’m gonna make you mine Out of my head Of my heart and my mind 'Cause I can feel how your flesh now Is crying out for more

It Doesn’t Matter Why - Silversun Pickups

You hear us come and go, we know You wonder if we're not alone, we're alone You think about us all the time, don't Because it doesn't matter why we're known We're just known, we're just known

Sleep Alone - Two Door Cinema Club

He sleeps alone He needs no army where he's headed cause he knows That they're just ghosts And they can't hurt him if he can't see them, ohh And I may go To places I have never been to just to find The deepest desires in my mind

still.feel - half.alive

So when I lose my gravity in this sleepy womb Drifting as I dream, but I'll wake up soon To realize the hand of life is reaching out To rid me of my pride I call allegiance to myself

Iron - Woodkid

This deadly burst of snow is burning my hands I'm frozen to the bones, I am A million miles from home, I'm walking away I can't remind your eyes, your face

Content - Joywave

I'm searching for the difference between What content and content can bring Maybe they're no different 'cause they look the same (They look the same) Maybe I'm just an algorithm with a given name (A given name) But... trying to find the difference The difference, the difference, the difference

#tagged answers #character music #about: M'nhea Tia #about: Maximiloix Voilinaut #about: Danny Harold #about: Amosis #the cold truth: tagged

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thecomicsnexus · 5 years ago

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Reunion

SWAMP THING #59 APRIL 1987 BY STEVE BISSETTE, ALAN MOORE, JOHN TOTLEBEN, RICK VEITCH, ALFREDO ALCALA AND TATJANA WOOD

SYNOPSIS (FROM DC DATABASE)

In Hell, Anton Arcane is receiving part of his eternal punishment, in the form of a depraved rugby game which uses his head as the ball. The Referee calls halftime, and warns Arcane that this has been just the slightest fraction of his torment, and that he has done such terrible things that he is still accumulating interest on the debts he has to pay. As an interesting diversion, the Referee decides to show Arcane how wronging his brother Gregori in the past allows Anton's sins to continue even in death.

In a memory, Gregori reads his daughter Abigail Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, a story that she loved, inexplicably. Abby demands to hear a better ending, where the monster doesn't die, and as Gregori attempts to come up with such an ending, his memory is invaded by the present. Something has happened to him that he can't yet come to terms with. Nearby, some hunters notice Gregori playing with Abby, and run away in horror. Gregori is the Patchwork Man – a horrifying monster – and what he believes is his daughter, is actually a pile of rags.

An adult Abby wakes from a nightmare, missing her husband, the Swamp Thing. However, on this night, her dream had been of a different monster. She arrives at her new job at Spanish Acres Home for the Elderly – a job which is sadly more depressing than the job she lost at Elysium Lawns, helping autistic children. Her coworkers are Gator, a rude and insensitive man who mistreats the residents, and the stern and unsympathetic Ms. Claiborne.

Gregori Arcane recalls how some people had threatened to take Abby away from him, he argued with his brother Anton about it, and Abby had run away crying. He had searched and searched for her.

Abby visits a man she calls Townclock, an elderly German watchmaker living in the home. He is attempting to fix Ms. Claiborne's watch, and Abby warns that he should put it away before Gator sees it, or else it will never get back to its owner. It is also visiting day, and despite the promise that his family is visiting him, Townclock anticipates that his daughter Ilsa will not come to see him. Sadly, his suspicion proves true, and his Ilsa is not there when his family arrives.

The Patchwork Man holds the bundle of rags to his chest, imagining that it is Abby. He imagines that if he lets her go, the green man will take her away. He remembers, however, that the green man took Abby away to a safe place. He realizes that he did something bad to her.

Abby's strong recollections of encounters with a familiar monster lead her to collapses in the home. Soon after Ms. Claiborne helps her up, Abby discovers Gator in one of the residents' rooms, crouching over her dead body and fiddling with her hand. He tries to talk his way out of the room, and runs off to call an ambulance.

Gregori recalls that he had let Abby wander into the minefields, and they were both injured. When he had stepped on a mine, Anton had changed him into a patch-work man – a monster. He doesn't want her to see him the way he is now.

After finding the dead resident, Abby is shaken. Ms. Claiborne coldly states that if she can't handle the emotional difficulties of working with the elderly, she should quit. Suddenly, their attention is captured by the sound of a scream. Townclock has caught Gator trying to steal Ms. Claiborne's watch, and slammed the thief's hand in a drawer. Abby arrives in time to see Gator knock Townclock's cane out from under him. Abby accuses Gator of thievery, including a ring belonging to the woman who died earlier that day. Gator readily admits to it, but Ms. Claiborne overhears him. Abby is entirely disgusted, and she goes home.

After feeding the emotionally unbalanced Liz Tremayne, Abby calls her acquaintance Chester Williams, who informs her that a swamp man has been seen in Texas. Abby, Chester, and some others go off in search of this creature, hoping that it is the Swamp Thing. Once there, they split up. Abby encounters the creature, and soon realizes that it is not Swamp Thing, but it is still familiar. She realizes that the creature is her father, Gregori Arcane – the patchwork man – and she embraces him. They both enjoy a moment of familial love until Gregori remembers his appearance, and moves away, refusing to be seen like this. The heavy rain turns to hail, and he is battered to pieces.

When morning comes, and the weather clears, Chester and his friends discover Abby crouched over the body of the patchwork man, singing. His head has gone missing, and Abby is particularly distressed. Chester kneels down beside her, attempting to be of comfort.

The Referee congratulates Anton Arcane on his ability to still be causing pain on the earthly plane so long after having left it himself. The demon ends halftime, and Arcane's head is returned to the playing field. Wistfully, the demon admires Arcane's lack of repentance, musing that he may be proper demon material, once his debt is paid.

REVIEW

When Swamp Thing started, it was a variation of the “monster of the week, starring a monster”. It felt a bit like Hulk, but it grabbed a little bit from every monster story. Abby falling for a monster is in line with those stories.

But Abby was already inclined to empathize with monster. As a little girl, she wanted her father to create an alternate happy ending for Frankenstein. Well, that is pretty much what happens at the end of this issue. Gregori thinks he knows his ending, but Abby shows him a much happier ending.

I am not sure how Gregori ended up in the United States though, I may be forgetting another appearance perhaps?

I give this issue a score of 7

#john totleben #bill sienkiewicz #dc comics #comics #review #1987 #modern age #swamp thing #abigail arcane

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survivingyellow · 6 years ago

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My little Wild Flower

Hey guys, I’m back with another shitty post on my little ole tumblr. What’s up? Hope all is still goin in your lives and that you can still dream, sing, and enjoy life to the fullest. I haven’t written in while even though I have some of you that are constantly asking me to update. I can’t write unless I actually have something to talk about... A muse I guess. Which brings me to exactly what this post is about.

I have been feeling a certain... I don’t know how to explain it- but the best way I can in words would be to say that I feel like I am lacking a missing piece lately. And I think this feeling is so wild because I haven’t felt like this in a good bit. But I have noticed that I am starting to push people out of my life. I haven’t been giving people endless amounts of chances, I haven’t been attending activities with my friends when I am invited, I haven’t been wanting to spend time with my family lately... Like I am desensitizing myself of all emotional attachment.

The other night I went to Nick’s house and we hungout in the car listening to Gregory Alan Isakov like we always do. I told him about how while I do wish the best for Toil, and I am happy that he is still somewhere out there laughing and breathing, I am also super numb. From feeling. Feeling his touch on my skin and his lips on mine. I feel numb because- I can’t feel other people’s touch anymore. It feels like our atoms are vibrating to fast to feel pressure. I told him about missing Chase... and Gem. Hoping all is going good in their lives and that nothing will ever bring them down. I talked to him about disconnection from the world, my fears, my passion... and he brought something to my attention. When I tried to explain how I was feeling... And I couldn’t seem to get the words out..but that’s when he finished it for me. I am.. lonely.

Isn’t that crazy? That I, one of the most independent people I know. A girl with so many friends and connections and passion for doing good for the world and being the free spirit that I am... am lonely. Lonely from hand holding. Lonely from kisses. Lonely from waking up in the middle of the night to wanting to feel someone else’s warmth in my bed- only to wake up to an empty spot where... my muse should be. I realized at that point that the reason I am pushing everyone away is because I can no longer keep certain people in my life because they either don’t have pure intentions, they don’t want me to continue to be who I am- but to sculpt me into what they want, or they just... aren’t my person.

The thing about feeling this way isn’t that I am lonely and would just go for anyone that gave me attention. Or someone that did have pure intentions... But I know that there is a person out there that can match my passion. A person out there that can match the love and care that I am capable of feeling. My muse is out there somewhere, and until I find him...or her... I will continue to draw their mystery eyes. I will continue to reach over and feel an empty bed. I will continue to have this empty space in my soul. And it’s funny, because I am not even a relationship person. I am not one that is meant to have babies or have a big wedding. The world is a big place and I know that I have a long life ahead of me. Which is why I am definitely in no rush. No rush to find her, no rush to love, no rush to get married or have kids. I fully believe that the sole purpose of my existence is to travel and help everyone that I come into contact with in one way or another. So no, I am not in a rush. I am not desperate. I am not constantly looking at everyone that takes an interest in me... because when I find her... I will know it.

I don’t know if any of you are feeling this way or if I am the only person on earth that feels this way... But I just want to remind you guys that while it hurts to not have your person, especially when it seems like everyone is happy happy posting pictures of them and their significant others on Easter with their big happy family. Your person is out there. And when you so happen to stumble upon them, they are going to make you paint colors you didn’t even know existed. And if you are going through this, and sleeping away your life so you don’t have to be awake and feel alone... I want you to know that you have to continue to put all of your effort into living life. So you have stories to tell your muse. To make them smile and laugh. And until the day comes, we are going to have that empty hole in our soul. But lets use that hole as a pipe, fill it with some good ass bud and exhale beauty.

Till Next Time

-Jance

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smileduponyou · 2 years ago

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🎼 [sets here from Kyle ovo]

Send 🎼 to witness my muse singing to themselves (I couldn't think of a song til now)

It was not often that he stood out on the balcony, cigarette resting limping between middle and pointer finger. The sun had just gone down, the sky splashed with varying shades of orange, red and yellow with darkening blues and purples encroaching above. The Brit is silent, looking at the horizon as he leans against the railing.

Something about the scene is somber... and as he does when alone, the blond begins to sing to himself into the open air as he continues to watch the sunlight fade.

"Don't go tonight Stay here one more time Remind me what it's like, oh And let's fall in love one more time..."

A slow drag upon his cigarette, the burn of the smoke bringing his thoughts to sharper clarity. A funny song for him to sing, considering he's not sure if he'd recognize the feeling of being loved even if it was right there in his hands. How does a child nurtured on nothing but spite and loneliness know what such warmth feels like?

"I need you now by my side It tears me up when you turn me down I'm begging please, just stick around..."

A stupid and hollow plead. One he'd made many times in his life... never was it heeded. 'Love' was a myth that Gregory never could find the confirmation of... and yet he would support others in the endeavor of obtaining and holding onto it. Others deserved the happiness that he, himself, might never be able to grasp hold of. Better them than no one else at all, right?

"I'm sorry, don't leave me, I want you here with me I know that your love is gone I can't breathe, I'm so weak, I know this isn't easy Don't tell me that your love is gone That your love is gone...."

#asks

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kassebaum · 7 years ago

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Hogwarts Reunion

Smut ahead!

As they walked up the stairs to the giant wooden doors, Kara struggled to keep the slight bounce out of her step; her excitement of being back at Hogwarts, the place that felt like home for seven years, barely containable.

Lena smiled at her wife and gripped her hand a little harder. Kara looked down as she felt the squeeze before looking at Lena and returning the smile.

‘It hasn’t changed a bit...’

‘This was the first place that felt like home for me. I can’t believe it’s been twenty five years since we left...’ Lena mused as they walked towards the entrance of the Great Hall, already able to see the floating candles covering the ceiling.

‘Hmmmm, do you remember when...’ Lena nodded towards the cloakroom just off the entrance hall that they had been caught in making out a few times.

Kara blushed a little and giggled.

‘If you two are quite done...’

Kara laughed as Maggie pushed through their clasped hands, dragging Alex behind her.

Banners from all four houses adorned the Great Hall, tables piled high with food were placed round the edge of the room, with a large dance floor set up towards the back.

The four of them mingled, chatting happily to people they hadn’t seen since their days at Hogwarts, sharing stories of what they’d been up to and reminiscing about the years spent roaming the halls of the castle.

‘I think we should find my old dorm room...’ Lena whispered in Kara’s ear as her hand trailed just under the hem of her skirt, wanting to have a little more fun.

‘Lena!’ Kara gasped, ‘we can’t!’

‘Why not?’

‘What if we get caught?’ Kara’s voice turned to a harsh whisper.

‘What are they going to do? Expel us?!’ Lena rolled her eyes, ‘besides, it’s the summer- all of the students have gone home.’

Realising she had no other reason to protest, Kara let Lena drag her out of the Great Hall and towards the stairway that would take them down to the Slytherin common room.

Neither of them noticed Maggie watching them.

Upon reaching the entrance to the common room, Lena realised a slight flaw in her plan; she didn’t know the password…

‘Miss Luthor! Is that really you?’ The portrait on the wall sprung to life; a knight ready for battle waving down at her.

‘It’s Mrs now’ Lena smiled as she waved her left hand at the portrait, ‘Sir Gregory, do you think you could help us get in?

‘For one of my favourite students? Anything!’ The knight chuckled, looking between the two women, ‘Callidus’ he whispered and winked.

Lena smiled and turned to the wall, whispering the latin phrase. The wall moved smoothly, granting them entry.

'Don't give the password to anyone else!' Lena called over her shoulder as she entered the hallway that would take her to her old common room.

The fire in the common room was lit- it was as though the house elves knew that at least a few of the castles previous residents would try and sneak back into their old rooms for nostalgic reasons.

Lena walked over to the window and looked out, taking in the familiar underwater scene of the lake. She felt Kara press up against her, arms circling her waist, lips gently kissing her neck.

‘I loved sneaking in here to spend time with you- the water is so calming, but eerie… But I have to say… there were definite perks to the Hufflepuff common room being next to the kitchens!’

Lena laughed and spun herself around to kiss Kara, her hands coming up to tangle into her wife’s hair.

Outside the common room, a rather disgruntled Alex was arguing with Sir Gregory;

'No. I'm not telling you. I am a knight of the realm and my honour is at stake!' Sir Gregory was getting a bit over dramatic at this point, huffing at the woman who was trying to use her index finger to intimidate him. 'Plus, the corner of my portrait is still singed from the time you set me on fire!'

'That was an accident!'

Maggie realised there was no way they were getting the password to the Slytherin common room and had a sneaky suspicion that it has something to do with where Lena and Kara disappeared off to earlier when they thought no one was looking, rather than a thirty year old grudge based on a tiny burn mark...

Unaware of the argument taking place outside, Lena had Kara pinned to the sofa directly in front of the fire, her hands roaming under every inch of Kara's dress that they could, her own dress having already been discarded.

‘This needs to come off’ Lena murmured, her lips attached to Kara’s neck, alternating between sucking on the pulse point below her ear and peppering her entire neck with kisses as she tugged at the sleeves of Kara’s dress, having already undone the zip.

Realising Lena wasn’t going to move and let her stand to remove her dress, Kara shrugged off the top half of her dress, gasping when Lena immediately latched onto one her nipples, swirling her tongue to harden it. She’d been unable to wear a bra with it, given the plunging neck line.

Kara’s gasps urging her on, Lena brought up her hand to gently flick the other nipple. Despite have been married for nearly two decades, Lena was still in awe of the reaction; the little gasps and moans Kara made when her nipples were being played with.

Lena took her time, lavishing attention across Kara’s collarbone and breasts, licking and sucking with her mouth, while her fingers pinched and rolled her nipples. Slowly, Lena started kissing downwards, trailing her lips down Kara’s torso, until she was on her knees, settled between her wife’s thighs, tugging the rest of Kara’s dress and underwear off as she went.

Placing the half folded dress on the couch, Lena returned her attention back to her wife splayed out on the couch, hair spread out, with a grin on her face.

‘I feel like I’m seventeen again!’ Kara giggled, covering her face with her hands.

Lena merely smirked in response and used the palms of her hands to spread Kara’s legs, pushing them as wide as they would go.

Lena ran her fingers through Kara’s folds, coating them in the wetness she found and brought them up to circle Kara’s clit.

Kara let out a shaky breath.

Lena watched as her wife tilted her face back in pleasure, eyes shut, mouth slightly open as Lena continued to circle Kara’s clit, grinning when applying more pressure resulted in Kara rolling her hips.

‘Please Lena…’ Kara moaned, ‘I need more…’

Lena bent down and flicked her tongue lightly over Kara’s hardened clit.

‘Oh God’ Kara whimpered, her grip on the top of the couch tightening.

Lena hooked her arms under Kara’s thighs to pull her closer, swirling her tongue lower to slowly start easing it in and out of Kara’s soaked folds.

Kara arched her back as she gripped onto the top of the sofa, trying to stabilise herself.

‘I’m so close…’ Kara gasped, her hips bucking in time to Lena’s tongue, her hips canted upwards into Lena’s mouth, desperate not to lose any friction.

Lena brought up her hand to tease Kara’s entrance, slowly sliding a single finger in as far as the first knuckle.

Kara whined, her hips moving, wanting to feel fuller.

Lena added a second finger, teasingly thrusting no deeper than the first knuckle. She started to thrust slow and deep, curling her fingers to stroke along the inner wall and felt Kara’s thighs quivering either side of her head. She increased the speed of her thrusts as Kara’s hips bucked against her hand. She moved her free hand to rest against Kara’s stomach, pinning her in place, her tongue still flicking over Kara’s hard clit; the moans coming from her wife spurring her on.

‘Fuck… Lena… that’s it…’ Kara panted as Lena continued to use her finger and tongue to bring her closer and closer to release. Her fingers coming down to tangle into Lena’s hair, keeping her in place as she came hard, her eyes closed, back arching off the couch.

Lena removed her fingers and gently peppered Kara’s thighs in kisses before wiping her mouth on the back of her hand.

She re-joined her wife on the couch, gathering her up into her arms, Kara’s head resting against her chest, the light from the fire illuminating their warm naked bodies.

#hp supergirl halloween 2017 #hogwarts au #supercorp #supercorp smut #lena luthor #kara danvers

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cgswapjplau · 5 years ago

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Steven Universe JPL AU: S1 Chapter 1, Lotus Light Trebuchet

Lapis flew towards the boardwalk, Steven perched on her back excitedly. She stopped a few feet away from Fryman's, hovering above the dock so Steven could climb off. He panted as he ran up to the booth, craving a food only Fryman could supply.

"Fryman, gimme the bits!" He called out.

Fryman rolled his eyes with a half smile. "You know we're closed."

"Come on, Fry, give him the bits!" Lapis protested good-naturedly.

"The bits, the bits, the bits, the bits," the lapis lazuli chanted eagerly.

"The bits, the bits, the bits, the bits!" Steven joined in, stars in his eyes.

They repeated it a few more times, until Fryman couldn't take it anymore.

"Alright, alright! Just stop it! Your scaring away the customers."

Lapis looked around, and back at Fryman.

"What customers?"

Steven gasped and giggled into his hand.

Fryman scoffed. "And let me guess, your usual?"

"Uh huh, but two milkshakes instead of one." Lapis answered.

"If you want, I can give you regular fries." He told Steven.

The boy shook his head. "Nope! Just the bits, please!"

Fryman put the fry bits into a bag and handed them to Steven, giving Lapis her milkshakes.

"Thanks, Fry! See you later!" The two said in unison.

Steven climbed onto Lapis' back, and she took off.

"Ah, sunset. My favorite time of day. The sun goes down, and the second sun gets bigger and bigger in the sky!" The half gem exclaimed, looking up at the sky.

Lapis snickered, some of her milkshake spilling out of the container. She used her powers to catch it before it hit the ground and put it back into the shake.

"Yeah, sure. Just love that secon-" Lapis gasped, dropping the whole shake. She used to powers to retrieve it yet again.

"It's here." She whispered, looking up to see a giant thing in the sky.

"Wait, what is?" Steven asked, before Lappis zipped home, Steven holding on to her sleeve for dear life. "Aw, my bits!"

"Well, we're cracked." Jasper muttered. She was standing outside of the house, next to Peridot, who was peering into a telescope. The peridot also had various electronic machines that she kept typing in and adding data to.

"I wish I had never given those an upgrade." She said in a low voice.

"Jasper! Peri!" Lapis called, landing next to them. Steven climbed off of her.

"Yeah, yeah. We saw, Lazuli." Peridot answered. "Some of us are busy protecting Earth. Where were you?"

Lapis rolled her eyes, but Steven saw the hurt look on her face.

"Getting snacks." Lapis said with a smile, quickly recovering. "But look, Peri, I got you a milkshake!"

Peridot took the shake that had never fallen out of the lapis' hand gingerly and took a small sip. She turned away with a small smile.

"Your drink wasn't," Peridot told Lapis with an uncomfortable cough. "Horrible. Thank you."

Lapis crossed her arms with a smile. "Aw, you know you love me. Admit you like it."

Steven changed the subject. "Ooh, can I see?" He asked enthusiastically, grabbing the telescope. "Woah, it's a giant eyeball! So cool!"

Peridot turned away from Lapis and eyed Steven. "No, not cool."

"That thing's a Red Eye." Jasper explained.

"A Red Eye? Oh, no! It's going to infect us all!" Steven yelled.

"Ugh, Steven, that's pink eye." Peridot said.

Lapis and Jasper snickered.

"It's headed for Beach City, and it's going to crush us all." Jasper informed Steven, not seeming that concerned about the situation.

"Along with a bunch of humans, ducks, and mice, and other things!" Lapis added. She looked behind her, shooing away a squirrel and lizard behind her. "Save yourselves." She whispered dramatically with a snicker.

"But how are we supposed to stop it?" Steven asked nervously.

"Rose's trebuchets are the only thing powerful enough to stop it, but they're both nowhere to be found." Jasper replied.

"Wait, they belonged to Mom? Then maybe Dad has them!" Steven lit up.

The three gems looked at each other for a moment, averting their gaze from Steven awkwardly.

"Gregory is nice." Peridot stated with a clearing of the throat.

"But if he had it, he either lost it or broke it. Or I took it." Lapis finished shamelessly.

"No, guys. I bet he's just keeping it somewhere safe!" Steven protested.

"Okay, Steven, you can go ask, but be quick." Jasper agreed.

"Lapis, go with him. If Greg doesn't have it, look in your room." Peridot added.

"If you don't see them, one of Peridot's inventions that are in your room could be useful." The quartz said.

"Fine, but we are NOT using one of my meep-morps to destroy that thing." Lapis snapped.

"But I think we handle it, Steven. Ready?" Lapis asked Peridot, before flying her up to the Red Eye. They flew steadily towards the strange spheroid.

"Okay, I'm fine! Let me go!" Peridot told her as they reached the eyeball.

"If you say so." Lapis replied with a smirk, dropping Peridot into the ocean.

"Ugh, Jasper, just throw me at it instead!" Peridot called.

Jasper nodded.

----------------

Steven and Lapis were in front of It's A Wash, looking at a van.

"Dad, wake up! Dad!" Steven yelled, pounding on the car door. "We have to save the town!"

"Yo, Gregory, wake up!" Lapis called.

Steven grunted and he pounded and shook the van, crawling onto the hood to bang on it. He climbed onto the top, jumping up and down. Just as he was giving up, throwing himself on the van dramatically, the car alarm started. Steven's face brightened as he turned to look at the back doors of the vehicle.

Greg Universe burst out of the automotive, with a weapon at the ready. "Who's there? I've got a frying pan and I'm not afraid to us-"

Greg spotted Lapis and calmed instantly. "Oh, hey, Lapis." He greeted her, shutting off the car alarm.

"Dad! It's me!" Steven called, stumbling off the van.

"Hey there, Schtu-ball." Greg said, giving his son a hug.

"We're looking for Rose's trebuchets." Lapis told him.

"What? Why?" Greg asked.

"To stop that eyeball over there!" His son answered helpfully, pointing at the sky.

Greg and Lapis looked up to see Peridot being thrown at the Red Eye. She collided into it with a big crash, and then fell in the water.

His dad grinned. "I know where they might be."

______________

"It's a shed, for storage." Greg told Steven, pushing up the garage door. Steven's face fell a little as the door opened to reveal a normal looking shed. His face quickly brightened as he got to work.

"If I'm gonna go in there, I'm gonna need some gear," Steven mused. He tied a flashlight to his head with a sock. Lapis snorted and tied a rope to him.

"Gotta go!" Steven exclaimed as he crawled inside the shed.

"Good luck!" Lapis and Greg told him.

Soon, he came across a box. "Dad, I found a bunch of copies of your old CD!" Greg smiled from outside the shed. "Oh man, I couldn't give those away. You know, before I rented the car wash, when I was a one-man band, I traveled the country!"

"I know, Dad." The half-gem answered with a chuckle.

"When I had my concert in Beach City, no one showed up, except-"

"A dragon!" Steven cheered, interrupting his father.

"No, it was your mother." Lapis told him with a small smile.

Steven laughed, "I know!"

"And me, but I was a swan at the time, so I guess that doesn't count." The lapis lazuli reasoned. "Gregory and Rose were always together after that."

His dad smiled sadly. "Until she gave up her physical form to bring you into the world."

As Greg rambled on, Steven stepped on a frame, with a picture of his father and mother inside. He gasped,

"Dad, I broke your picture frame!" Steven told Greg.

"It's okay, Schtu-ball. Remember, if every pork chop were perfect-"

"We wouldn't have hot dogs!" Lapis and Steven finished.

When the two finished the phrase, two identical catapults glowed simultaneously, but only one was in the shed.

Steven noticed it. "Huh?" Suddenly, the boy's eyes went wide with recognition. A massive siege weapon towered over the crouching child, pale pink and decorated with petal shaped molding. A lotus-like spherical bullet was already equipped, as if the dirt-encrusted engine had been waiting. Steven sweeped off the dust with one hand.

"One of the ter-butch-ays." He murmured.

"It's trebuchet." Lapis corrected him.

"Lapis, Dad, I found one!" Steven cried.

"Keep looking for the other!" Lapis instructed him.

After a thorough search, Steven could see they should try somewhere else.

"Well, Steven, guess it's time to look at my place." Lapis said casually.

"I'll drive you," Greg added.

They loaded the weapon into a wagon that was tied to the back of the van, and then sat inside. Greg got in the driver's seat, and started the car.

"This is freaking me out!" Greg exclaimed.

"Can't the van go any faster? We've gotta get go the beach!" Steven said impatiently.

"This is faster!" His father answered.

"Come on, let's put on your CD." Lapis suggested from the backseat.

Steven put in the CD and started to sing along.

Greg parked, and Lapis put the trebuchet on the shore, where Peridot was being yeeted at the Red Eye the twentieth time that day. Steven and Lapis climbed onto the porch and entered the house.

Lapis guided Steven past the living room and kitchen, and up to an elevator. She pressed the down button. A scanner popped up, and Lapis turned around so her gem would be visible. "Whoa," Steven thought aloud. A small ding could be heard, and the frame rotated multiple times, before stopping so that a door with a lapis lazuli gem and water on it could be seen.

The pair entered the elevator. The doors closed, and the elevator went down quickly. Steven yelped and grabbed onto Lapis, who didn't seem bothered by the stomach-churning drop. The elevator slowed to a stop, and the walls turned translucent. A circular waterfall surrounded the elevator, and parted when the elevator doors opened. When the two stepped out, Steven gasped in awe.

The room they entered was like a paradise, with seafoam green grass, ponds, trees, and a pink and orange 'sky'. A section where two short pale blue translucent walls made a corner and a small area of floor was filled with with chests. Small mechanical animals lived in trees and burrows. The whole place had art supplies scattered around on the ground.

"This is your room in the temple?" Steven asked in awe.

"Yup, and I know just where to find the other trebuchet."

____________

"Come on, Dad!" Steven called. He and Lapis were pushing one trebuchet towards the other Crystal Gems, and Steven wanted his dad to be a part of this mission.

His dad followed, helping the two transport the other siege weapon.

Finally spotting them, Jasper looked at the three curiously, and her eyes widened when they started to wheel the trebuchets over, still attached to the van. Peridot looked up from where she had ended up when she was swept up by the tide in awe, but quickly composing herself.

"Good. You guys are here." Peridot said shortly, moving towards the weapons. "There are over one septillion possible combinations of letters, sounds, and numbers, and the Red Eye is almost here."

Lapis exhaled anxiously. "Well, then, we'd better star-" She gasped.

They all looked up to see pieces of the roof shingles breaking off and attaching to the Red Eye. Across town, Fryman's sign was ripping apart, and he yelped in vain, attempting to grab it before it flew away. The statue of Angel Aura broke a fingernail.

"Hurry!" Jasper yelled in alarm, moving the cannon into place.

"What could the password be?" Steven asked.

"This was Rose's, not mine!" Peridot snapped before calming down.

"Dad?" He turned to his father, who shrugged. "Lapis? Jasper?" Steven swiveled to meet the eyes of the pair, who clung to each other in fear, before shaking off each other's grasp. Lapis looked down in defeat, while Jasper turned away. Next to them, Peridot had an epiphany.

"Steven!" She called desperately, grabbing his shoulder and turning him towards her. "You have her gem!"

Lapis rushed over, rubbing Steven's gem against the trebuchets. Peridot slapped her hand with a smirk. "Really?" She turned serious. "It's no use!"

"Forget that. Throw me again." Peridot suggested unenthusiastically, allowing Jasper to scoop her up.

"That's not going to work!" Lapis protest

The wagon holding the trebuchet sank into the dirt, moving Steven around, who was still clung to it. "Whoa!"

"I've got this." Greg said, unlatching the trebuchet. The van slid across the beach, towards the Eye. Steven's father yanked on the rope, trying to reel the van in unsuccessfully.

"Never mind, maybe I don't!" Greg yelped, being pulled to the Red Eye.

"Please work," Steven pleaded to the trebuchets. "Unlock! Activate! Come on!"

"Go! Please?" He continued. "Everyone's counting on you two! You can't just be useless! I know you guys can help!"

"Don't worry, Steven." Lapis reassured him.

"We'll find something else!" Greg added.

A wobbly smile stretched across Steven's face. "Oh, right! If every porkchop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs!"

The trebuchets started to glow. The gems and his father looked on in shock.

"It's working!" Jasper exclaimed.

The petals started to open like two blooming roses, and the weights on both sunk down. The sudden decrease in balance launched two lotus flower bullets into the air. They circled each other, shining, before combing to form a pink light silhouette of a familiar woman. She struck the Red Eye, exploding it. There was a bright glow, and when it faded, the woman was gone.

Debris rained on the town. A piece crashed into the boardwalk, next to Fryman. A car was inside the hole, its alarm shrieking loudly.

"Steven, you saved most of Beach City!" Lapis applauded.

"Sorry!" Steven called.

Fryman didn't hear him. "What?"

"How'd you activate the trebuchets?" Peridot asked.

"I just said the thing Dad always says."

"And before you ask, yes, the thing about pork rinds." Jasper told her, amused.

"Hot dogs." Lapis corrected simply.

Greg wiped a tear from his eye. "Rose."

The tide came in, returning Greg's van apologetically.

"My van!" Greg cried.

"It's okay, dad." Steven soothed.

"If every porkchop were perfect-" Lapis started.

"I live in there!" Greg shrieked, before running into the water after it.

#su au #steven universe au #su jpl au #su #steven universe

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ylc1 · 7 years ago

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New fic

Because the thing to do when you lack inspiration for your WIPs is start a new one, right? :P

This actually was supposed to be my entrance for the Mystrade Advent Calendar, but I wasn’t quite happy with the xmas-y plot I was trying to force in and so I wrote an entirely different one ;)

I do like the idea though, but I don’t have a title just yet (I’m so bad at those) and I was wondering if you guys could help? And so I present you with the first part of the first chapter.

Enjoy!

And there he is, Gregory Lestrade in all his glory.

Mycroft wishes he could say he didn’t sigh dreamingly when the curtain raised and the teen started to sing, but he has a policy of always being honest, at least to himself. He’s not proud of all the silent pining from afar he’s been doing for a little over two years now, but it’s not like there’s something else for him to do. After all, the other boy doesn’t even know he exists and Mycroft isn’t exactly the kind of person that knows how to approach others, let alone flirt.

“God, I’m in hell,” Sherlock informs him, thankfully pitching his voice low, although they still get the attention of a few students sitting close by. Mycroft glares briefly, but his attention quickly gets swept away when Gregory starts saying his lines. Sherlock snorts, sinking further into his seat so his vision is completely obstructed by the person sitting in front of him.

“Sherlock-” Mycroft begins, but gets promptly interrupted.

“I didn’t want to come to the stupid school play,” his brother murmurs petulantly, crossing his arms over his chest. “And neither did you. You just wanted to stare at your crush without anyone noticing how pathetic you are.”

The words stung a bit, but Mycroft has learned to discard most of what Sherlock says as pissed off ten years old child’s ramblings. His brother doesn’t mean any harm, not really, but he has no social skills whatsoever.

Mycroft worries about him constantly. If he’s having such a hard time dealing with his stupid infatuation, how will his brother handle having a crush?

His attention gets taken away from his musings by the thundering applause. He joins the people clapping, his eyes fixed on Gregory who is smiling winningly at the crowd. Mycroft’s heart flutters briefly and he wonders if coming to the play was a good idea after all: the play is just beginning and he already feels a bit faint due the over exposure to the other teen’s handsomeness.

“God,” Sherlock murmurs darkly, taking out his phone while he shakes his head dramatically. “Please stop.”

Mycroft chooses to ignore him and turns his attention back to the stage, determined to convey every second to his memory, so he can replay all of Gregory’s appearances later inside his head, when he’ll indulge himself in silly daydreams that will place him as the heroine of the play.

He sighs. A boy can dream, can’t he?

Busy as he is daydreaming about what he believes an impossible future, he misses his brother’s thoughtful expression. If he had been paying attention, he would have noticed Sherlock was planning something and so the following events wouldn’t have come as such a surprise.

All for the best, probably.

#my fanfics #mystrade fic

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celticmythpodshow · 8 years ago

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CMP Special 26 Samhain Holiday Special 2011

Hallowe'en traditions though the years

In this Hallowe'en or Samhain Holiday Special we bring you two fascinating accounts of Samhain traditions: one modern and one Victorian, and an amazing story by a talented story-teller, Chris Joliffe - and we hope to be hearing more from Chris in the future - and 5 of the best pieces of music we reckon you'll hear for this year's Samhain! This one's a corker!

Phew!

Full Show-notes, with all credits, can be found on our main Website at http://celticmythpodshow.com/halloween2011

Running Order:

Intro 0:41

News & Views 1:32

The Cauldron Born by Damh the Bard 2:40

Samhain: Lowering the Veil by Jennifer Emick 9:58

Realm of the Free by Cindy Spear & Colin Mold 22:33

Visions and Beliefs in the West of Ireland by Lady Gregory 28:06

She is Crone by Kellianna 43:40

Forget Me Not by Chris Joliffe 47:58

The Cheshire Souling Song by Kate & Corwen 41:10

Competition Winner 57:05

Samhain Story by Chris Joliffe 58:26

The Shores of Wales by Kray Van Kirk 1:09:09

Outtakes 1:16:53

We hope you enjoy it!

Gary & Ruthie x x x

Released: 19 Nov 2011, 1h 19m

It's always great to hear from you! Email [email protected], or leave us a message using Speakpipe

The Cauldron Born

by Damh the Bard

We can do no better than start our show with Damh singing us in with his song about the Goddess that stirs the cauldron of Awen or inspiration. She is central to the story of Taliesin - possibly the greatest bard - and Damh's song reminds us that in search for inspiration we are all "the Cauldron Born".

You can find out more about Damh on his website at Pagan Music or on our Contributor Page.

Samhain: the Lowering of the Veil

by Jennifer Emick

Often controversial, Jennifer Emick has kindly written a fascinating piece about Samhain traditions for us. Jennifer Emick is an artist, writer, and religious educator. She has promoted religious understanding in the internet community for over a decade. She is the About.com Guide to Alternative Religions, the most popular source for Celtic spiritual symbolism on the internet. Ms. Emick lives in the San Francisco Bay area.

She is also the Author of The Everything Celtic Wisdom Book which you can find on Amazon which looks at Irish, Scottish, and Welsh traditions. See her Contributor Page for more details.

Realm of the Free

by Cindy Spear & Colin Mold

Cindy Spear Cindy has written another amazing poem that has been set to music by Colin Mold called "The Realm of the Free". To find out more about Cindy Spear go to her website or visit her Contributor Page.

Colin Mold Colin is a talented musician who not only plays the band Karnataka in the UK, performs as a session musician and has two solo albums to his name. His latest project is a forth-coming album, Girl On the Castle Steps, on which will you will also hear this track as well as another one with lyrics written by Cindy called Green and Gold. Find out more about Colin on his website or on his Contributor Page.

Visions and Beliefs in the West of Ireland

By Lady Augusta Gregory

Isabella Augusta, Lady Gregory (15 March 1852 – 22 May 1932), born Isabella Augusta Persse, was an Irish dramatist and folklorist. With William Butler Yeats and Edward Martyn, she co-founded the Irish Literary Theatre and the Abbey Theatre, and wrote numerous short works for both companies. Lady Gregory produced a number of books of retellings of stories taken from Irish mythology. Born into a class that identified closely with British rule, her conversion to cultural nationalism, as evidenced by her writings, was emblematic of many of the political struggles to occur in Ireland during her lifetime. Lady Gregory is mainly remembered for her work behind the Irish Literary Revival. [Wiki]

She said:

"The Sidhe cannot make themselves visible to all. They are shape-changers; they can grow small or grow large, they can take what shape they choose; they appear as men or women wearing clothes of many colours, of today or of some old forgotten fashion, or they are seen as bird or beast, or as a barrel or a flock of wool. ..... There are two races among the Sidhe. One is tall and handsome, gay, and given to jesting and to playing pranks, leading us astray in the fields, giving gold that turns to withered leaves or to dust. These ride on horses through the night-time in large companies and troops, or ride in coaches, laughing and decked with flowers and fine clothes. The people of the other race are small, malicious, wide-bellied, carrying before them a bag. When a man or woman is about to die, a woman of the Sidhe will sometimes cry for a warning, keening and making lamentation. At the hour of death fighting may be heard in the air or about the house-that is, when the man in danger has friends among the shadows, who are fighting on his behalf. ....

This is the news I have been given of the people of the Sidhe by many who have seen them and some who have known their power.

A.G.

The full text can be found on Sacred Texts at Sacred Texts.

She is Crone

by Kellianna

Kellianna is an American pagan artist internationally performing song and chant inspired by myth, magic, sacred places and ancient times. With guitar and vocals she brings to life the stories and sagas of the Gods and Goddesses. With frame drum and chant she honors the Earth and the Ancestors via primal drumming and powerful vocals.

This track, the incredibly powerful summoning of the Crone, is from her latest album "Elemental" - well worth checking out. You can find out more about this enchantress on her website or on our Contributor Page.

Samhain Story & Forget Me Not

by Chris Joliffe

Astoundingly, Chris is an undiscovered talent - that is, until now! This amazing bard has given us permission to use some of his amazing stories and poems in the show and we're sure that you'll love them just as much as we do.

In this show, you can hears his short poem Forget Me Not and his mythically-rich story, Samhain Story. We hope to bring you much more of Chris in the future and in the meantime check out his Contributor Page to find out a little more about him.

The Cheshire Souling Song

by Kate Fkletcher & Corwen Broch

Kate and Corwen are more than just folk musicians. They are also instrument makers and workshop leaders who perform folk music and drama, recreate Ancient music and instruments, make crafts, run workshops for schools and demonstrate at museums and other events. In some ways, they have become folk music's scientists in that their research is delving deep into the past to discover the songs (one of Kate's specialities I believe) and the instruments (definitely one of Corwen's!) of the past. We've seen Corwen demonstrate an ancient lyre on YouTube! Hold on, let's see if I can find it...

youtube

You'll find the link to their YouTube channel on their Contributor Page and it really is worth listening to more of their music and finding out about some of the instruments used by the Celts and how they sounded! I think one of the most amazing things I've read about them is on their website where it says: Never afraid to sing all the verses of a long ballad, or play newly composed material on long forgotten instruments, our music has been described as 'hypno/folk'. We aim to make music that their ancestors would understand and appreciate. You can find out more about Kate & Corwen on their website at Ancient Music.co.uk or on their Contributor Page.

The Shores of Wales

by Kray Van Kirk

"I have a different approach now to writing and performing music. I no longer record CDs, as I want to reduce the waste headed to our landfills, and I don't charge money for my songs as a deliberate movement away from the bottom line that seems to govern so much of our daily lives. So I keep writing my songs, and I sing them when I play a show, and I give them away to anyone who wants them. My graduate work takes me to interesting places on rather short notice sometimes, and I try to plan concerts around that travel, although the short notice can make it difficult."

About this track, The Shores of Wales, he says: "Every time I play this, someone comes up to me almost frantic to hear what finally happened in the story. I don't think there's a real answer- the beach is empty, the horse is alone, and William rides still. I do like the Faerie King, though- although he is careless of William's fate and casually cruel, he also lays his own soul on the line when challenged."

Find out more about Kray on his website or his Contributor Page.

Competition Winner

We announce the winner of our competition set in the Chatterbox Show SP24 and wish you all the best of the season and a very Happy New Year!

Get EXTRA content in the Celtic Myth Podshow App for iOS, Android & Windows

Email us at: [email protected]. Facebook fan-page http://www.facebook.com/CelticMythPodshow, Twitter (@CelticMythShow) or Snapchat (@garyandruth), Pinterest (celticmythshow) or Instagram (celticmythshow)

Help Spread the Word:

Please also consider leaving us a rating, a review and subscribing in iTunes or 'Liking' our Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/CelticMythPodshow as it helps let people discover our show - thank you :)

If you've enjoyed the show, would you mind sharing it on Twitter please? Click here to post a tweet!

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Special Thanks

Psicodreamics for Spirit of Nature and Earth Prayer from the album Ancient Wisdom. See his website for further details of check out his Contributor Page.

Green Druid for the enthralling lay, Celta. See his Contributor Page for more details.

Adragante, for his track Chanson a la Marie from his album, Harmonie Cosmique. Check out his Contributor Page for more details.

Grégoire Lourme, for 1DSENS - Musee virtuel - Evasion from his album Shorts Works. See his Contributor Page for more details.

For our Theme Music:

The Skylark and Haghole, the brilliant Culann's Hounds. See their Contributor page for details.

Extra Special Thanks for Unrestricted Access to Wonderful Music

(in Alphabetic order)

Anne Roos Extra Special thanks go for permission to use any of her masterful music to Anne Roos. You can find out more about Anne on her website or on her Contributor page.

Caera Extra Special thanks go for permission to any of her evocative harping and Gaelic singing to Caera. You can find out more about Caera on her website or on her Contributor Page.

Celia Extra Special Thanks go for permission to use any of her wonderful music to Celia Farran. You can find out more about Celia on her website or on her Contributor Page.

Damh the Bard Extra Special thanks go to Damh the Bard for his permission to use any of his music on the Show. You can find out more about Damh (Dave) on his website or on his Contributor page.

The Dolmen Extra Special thanks also go to The Dolmen, for their permission to use any of their fantastic Celtic Folk/Rock music on the Show. You can find out more about The Dolmen on their website or on our Contributor page.

Keltoria Extra Special thanks go for permission to use any of their inspired music to Keltoria. You can find out more about Keltoria on their website or on their Contributor page.

Kevin Skinner Extra Special thanks go for permission to use any of his superb music to Kevin Skinner. You can find out more about Kevin on his website or on his Contributor page.

Phil Thornton Extra Special Thanks go for permission to use any of his astounding ambient music to the Sonic Sorcerer himself, Phil Thornton. You can find out more about Phil on his website or on his Contributor Page.

S.J. Tucker Extra Special thanks go to Sooj for her permission to use any of her superb music. You can find out more about Sooj on her website or on her Contributor page.

Spiral Dance Extra Special thanks go for permission to use Adrienne and the band to use any of their music in the show. You can find out more about Spiral Dance on their website or on their Contributor page.

We'd like to wish you 'Hwyl fawr!', which is Welsh for Goodbye and have fun, or more literally Wishing a Good Mood on you!

Check out this episode!

#celtic myth #podcast #mythology #celts

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