#It's hard to get people to read at all so I'll be honest it's hard for me to judge people who do read by reading garbage

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Smell Check [Easy: Failure]

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 1 (part 2 - part 3)

[biracy]

Tbh I should probably take a break. I almost definitely won't but I should, yknow

[talaok]

Acting Normal

Pairing: Javier Peña x fem!reader

Summary: Javi’s been thinking about that night every minute of every day, while you're acting like it never even happened, and if he doesn't do something about it, he's gonna lose his mind.

warnings: smut| fingering, protected p in v sex, dirty talk, javi being a simp, sex in the workplace, (it's not public but there's a possibility of getting caught)

a/n: I already know what to write for part 3, this couple is my new obsession lol

This is a part 2 to this story, but it can be read alone

Javi

This was really important stuff

He was really supposed to be listening

He was paid to listen to it,

that's what he kept repeating himself,

and yet- yet if someone asked him to repeat whatever Carillo was saying, he couldn't have spit out one singular word.

But it wasn't his fault, not really.

You must have been doing it on purpose, there was no way you were doing all that just accidentally.

Your lips were wrapped around the lollipop in a way that left nothing to the imagination- he could feel those lips on him, he knew how soft and sweet they were from kissing them, but around him... oh they would feel even sweeter, he was sure-

"If you're not gonna listen to me then why am I even here?"

It took Javier much too long to realize what Carillo had said

"I'm listening" he stated with enough confidence to fool anyone- except he was talking to one of the few people that could see right through his bullshit.

"I'm surprised you haven't done it yet" the Colonel shook his head, blowing out a cloud of smoke "I thought she would have given in by now"

"I don't know what you're talking about"

Carillo couldn't help but laugh.

"You've been obsessed with her since she first arrived"

Javier hadn't even noticed that his gaze was back on you... or that his colleague had spoken again.

"yeah," Carillo chuckled, patting Javi's back "I'll just talk to Murphy"

And that was that, Carillo was gone, and Peña was left at a desk at the corner of the room, staring at you with the intensity with which a lion watches a gazelle.

He didn't know what the fuck to do.

To be completely honest with himself, he'd made a fucking mess.

He'd always been attracted to you, I mean there's not much of you that any man could find not hot, and sure, he'd spent about a year flirting with you as you rolled your eyes at him... but that's just how he was- he never thought it'd ever actually happen- and now...

Now he was fucked

You seemed so incredibly normal around him, like that night a week ago had been just a perfect dream, while him- fuck he couldn't even look at you without picturing how perfect you looked from between your tighs.

He'd thought he could manage to just do it that one time, to get it out of his system... what a stupid fucking bastard- he'd only made everything ten times worse.

And the worst part was that you didn't seem affected by it, not even a little bit- like now, there you were, looking all concentrated and everything, your brows furrowed, your bare legs crossed, one of them swinging ever so often, and your lips... your lips wrapped around the candy were an image sent straight from heaven.

Fuck- he was half fucking hard just by looking at you.

He needed to do something- now- or he was gonna go fucking crazy.

__ __ __

"can I have a talk with you for a moment?"

He was leaning over your desk, not doing a great job of masking his desire.

You, on the other hand, hadn't even looked up from the paper before you.

"what's up?"

what's up?

He'd made you squirt on your boss' desk for fuck's sake, and you tell him what's up??

"Just something I think you could help me out with, in the evidence room"

"now?" you winced, finally looking at him

"Yeah now"

__ __ __

"so what is it? did they misplace a file again-"

"How are you acting so normal?"

A gasp fled your mouth as you turned around and found him but an inch from you

"Jesus" you breathed "what are you talking about?"

"and who even eats lollipops past the age of five?"

He took a step closer and you took a step back, only for your back to hit the wall.

He'd cornered you.

"what is going on with you?" you hissed, only for him to take another slow step, and place his hand on the wall, right next to your head

"you, that's what's going on with me" his breath was fanning over your mouth, images of last week's night flashing both your minds "I've had the best sex of my life with you, and you're acting like it was just another Tuesday night"

"I-"

"I can still taste you on my tongue, I can still feel you around me, and you look at me like I'm nothing more than a fucking colleague y/n"

"Javier-"

"And then" he chuckled darkly, interrupting you once again "and then you have the nerve to suck on a fucking lollipop right in front me-"

A soft laugh couldn't help but bubble up your throat at that.

"Did that seriously... turn you on?"

"So what if it did?" he purred, his left hand finding your waist and forcing you off the wall and flush against him, against the blatant proof of his arousal.

You gasped, your hands clutching the shirt covering his chest.

"you're worse than a hormonal teenager"

His eyes sparked with malice as he bent down, his mouth skimming your mouth and cheeks, leaving shivers in his passage, until he pressed his lips right below your ear.

"A hormonal teen that made you squirt for the first time in your life"

"Javier-" your voice had already reduced to a thread of a whimper.

Fuck him and his irresistible sex appeal.

He was right, no one had ever made you feel as good as he had, and as much as he thought you weren't affected by that knowledge, he'd be shocked to find out how difficult it proved not to squirm every time he merely looked at you.

Yes, of course you were constantly thinking about that night too.

"Tell me you don't think about it"

He was like a mind reader

You stayed silent, conscious that any response you could give would inevitably give you away.

"That's what I thought" A snicker rumbled from his chest, his hand moving from your waist to slide underneath the hem of your skirt.

You hummed, your brain only half functioning as he continued to trail hot wet kisses down your throat.

"W-what are you doing?" you tried to speak normally without success.

"what does it look like I'm doing?" he smirked, his hand now fully cupping your clothed core, making you whine "What I've been thinking of doing for a whole damn week- so I don't lose my mind"

Two of his fingers were circling the wet spot on your panties when a phone rang from the other room, making your eyes snap open.

What the fuck were you doing?

You were at work- anyone could come in at any moment.

"Javier wait," you said, finally getting your voice back to normal.

"what is it, sweetheart?" from the way his eyes were still a thousand shades darker and blatantly staring at your mouth you could have guessed the danger of being caught didn't trouble him one bit.

"We can't"

He groaned frustratedly then, his head falling between your neck and shoulder

"why not sweetheart?"

"are you serious?" a quick laugh bubbled up your throat "we're at work"

"so?"

"so?" you parroted, only your voice was heightening with exasperation "so anyone could catch us at any given moment"

A soft smirk pulled at his lips, the hand that was still on your wall going to your waist to get you flush against him

"Are you ashamed of me sweetheart?" he teased

"Well, to be completely honest having sex with the biggest slut in Columbia isn't exactly my highest moment"

He feigned a gasp, his hot breath fanning over your own parted mouth

"Me? A slut?"

"yeah, you" You couldn't fight the smile pulling at your lips.

There he was, doing it again- making all your common sense fly out the window with his godforsaken charm.

"c'mon baby, I'll be quick"

And although you didn't want to, you could see yourself starting to consider his proposal.

"that's supposed to convince me?" you arched a brow, an amused smile pulling at your lips

"What, you think I can't make you come quickly?" he purred, his hand going to your ass in a swift move to grab at it.

You bit down a whine "Well I don't know"

"tell me you don't want it" he teased, the fingers on your core starting a torturous path up and down your still-clothed, but unbelievably drenched, slit "That you don't want this"

His fingers had trespassed your panties and had now found your raw skin, making you gasp

"anyone could come in us, including Messina" you added breathlessly

"I locked the door" he promised, his forehead on yours as his ring and middle finger gently found their way inside of you.

"a-and what if someone needs to get in?" you tried your best not to moan, but the way he curled his fingers made it so very fucking difficult

"then we'll tell them to fuck off" he murmured, his mouth now touching yours, but still not kissing you.

"If we get caught I'm gonna kill you, we clear?"

"yes ma'am" he smirked, his breath mixing with yours

"now- may I kiss you, baby?"

You rolled your eyes before answering "Yes, you may"

And just like that, he was devouring you, his lips crashing with yours and his tongue sliding into your mouth to explore every inch of it, gaining dominance on your own in a matter of seconds.

"fuck I missed this" he groaned, his fingers suddenly speeding up and robbing you of all ability to tease him about his words "these fucking lips are gonna be the death of me"

Your mouth was open as you desperately tried to get oxygen to your lungs, but he didn't care, he took your bottom lip into his mouth and started sucking, his fingers fastening their pace as the filthy sound of your wetness bounced off the walls of the room.

"tell me you thought about it too" he growled, his palm making contact with your clit and forcing you to gasp as your hips started grinding onto it, onto his hand, sparks of pleasure staining your vision. "tell me I'm not the only crazy one baby"

You bit your lip to stifle a moan as you felt yourself grow closer to a release.

"shit- you look so fucking hot when you're about to come"

"I-" your eyes were squeezed shut, but you could feel the heat of his stare on you, the way his eyes never left you, not even as he kissed your neck, the soft stubble of his mustache tickling your skin "I've thought about it too javi"

The satisfied groan he let out told you just about everything you needed to know.

"When?" he asked, his voice hoarse, his fingers relentless

"A-always" you whimpered, "e-everytime I look at you"

shit- maybe you shouldn't have said that

"yeah?" a wolfish grin tugged at his lips "You think about me? about my cock? my fingers? my tongue?"

You mewled at his words, at the memory they brought with them, at how fucking good he was making you feel-

"J-Javi please"

"what?" he breathed, his mouth on yours again, your hips grinding shamelessly onto his hand "You're gonna come baby, 's that it?"

"y-yeah- fuck- I-"

he knew the signs by now, he knew those desperate breathless sounds you made just as you reached your peak- and god did he fucking love them

"come for me- come baby" he murmured, his lips crushing with yours to stifle your moans just as your walls spasmed around his digits- wave after wave of pleasure coursing through your body.

Oh how he loved seeing the strong fiery woman he saw every day come apart beneath him, all your walls crumbling down 'till there was just pure lust and pleasure beneath your eyes, 'till your body went limp and clung to him for support.

"fuck" you breathed your eyes finally opening again, only to find that his had never left yours. "I-" you gulped, but his lips were on yours again, his hands holding your face on each side, his fingers now out of you.

"w-we should get back," you said, mostly trying to remind yourself, of where you really were, of what you were really doing... but it was all so difficult when he was looking at you like that- when you could feel his hard cock straining against his jeans- the same one that had felt so fucking good inside of you.

"we should" he agreed, although a twisted grin played on his lips.

he was already kissing you again, exploring you again, and in no time you found yourself caged between him and a shelf filled with boxes of evidence, your legs wrapped around his waist and your arms around his neck.

Damn him

"People are gonna start wondering where we are"

"we're here... looking at evidence," he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, his hips grinding onto you, his mouth on the corner of your lips.

"fuck- fine," you murmured, the need for him stronger than anything at this point, even than the fear of getting fired.

He didn't waste a second- his dick was out in a heartbeat, and your panties were pulled to the side before you had even time to breathe.

His tip, his red, glistening tip found your entrance, making you gasp.

"c-condom" you suddenly remembered, your voice so feeble it was almost inaudible "Please tell me you've got a condom"

"fuck- you're right" he muttered, frustration tracing his tone "I should have one in my wallet"

Of course he had one in his wallet

His left hand reached into his back pocket, finding his wallet and taking the condom out of it as quickly as he could, throwing the wallet somewhere to the side.

You were supporting yourself all on your own as he rolled the condom onto his dick, which might sound easy... but seeing the state of your leg it really was a miracle.

It was all so fast, he seemed desperate as he guided his tip to your entrance, as he gripped your waist and kissed your lips while entering you.

He was so fucking big, definitely the biggest one you'd ever encountered, and not only that... but he fucking knew how to use it too.

It was impossible not to moan, and for him, it was impossible not to groan- let's just say the possibility of getting caught wasn't first on the list of things in your mind at the moment.

"fuckfuckfuck" you whimpered, letting out a soft cry when he finally bottomed out

"Jesus Christ you feel fucking perfect" he growled, his eyes on yours, his hands gripping your waist as he tried his best to give you a moment to adjust and not start to fuck you like an animal right away.

"J-Javi"

And that, that little plead in your voice was all he needed to hear.

There was no way the sound of your skin slapping with his couldn't be heard from outside.

He felt so fucking good- criminally so.

"oh my g-" you had to bite down on something, and the little sliver of skin his shirt didn't cover right where his shoulder met his neck seemed much too perfect for your need.

He groaned, the bastard fucking groaned in pleasure as your teeth sank down into his skin, and you swore to god you could have come from that sound alone.

Your hands were laced between his neck, fingers taking hold of whatever hair you could grab, as he thrust up into you like a man starved, and you did all you could to meet his movements with the same urgency.

It had only been a week, and yet it felt like it'd been an eternity- a torturous, awful eternity of daying yourself of this.

"been thinking about this every fucking minute this week" his voice was breathy, hoarse, as he whispered to your ear "about this perfect fucking pussy of yours- about your mouth, about how- Fuck me-" his own growl interrupted him, your walls were squeezing him much too fucking tight "how good you taste, how hot you look when I'm eating you out- about this fucking perfect body of yours" he purred "Jesus christ you make me lose my mind"

You couldn't help but moan, moan at his words, at his pace, at the way his touch sent sparks flying in your belly- it was all too much.

"You've gotta be quiet baby" he murmured as you raised your head to look at him, to beg him for something- anything.

"I know sweetheart, I know" he breathed, his lips skimming yours "I know issa lot"

And to think you couldn't even stand him seven days ago... look at you now- looking into his eyes pleadingly as he fucked you in the evidence room.

"Javi" you could only breathe as his mouth crashed with yours once again, "I'm gonna-"

"I know"

Of course he knew

And just like that, you were over the edge, his tongue in your mouth muffling your cries as his thrust got more erratic, and somehow even more powerful.

Once again, he'd given you the best orgasm of your life.

He tried to hold off to let you ride it out, but fuck him it was proving to be real fucking difficult.

And then you opened your eyes- your beautiful, dreamy, eyes that he'd been dreaming of for days and there was no point in fighting it anymore-

"F-fuck y/n- fuck-"

There was a loud thud somewhere behind you, but neither of you cared enough to look, or god forbid stop- there was only you, you, and the spectacular groan Javier fed you into a kiss as he finally reached his climax.

There was only the sound of your breathing, both your heavy breathings as you looked at each other- and then you smiled, and he couldn't help but do the same.

And then all of the sudden the sounds from the office started flowing into the room again.

Oh right

"we really have to get back"

"yeah" he halfheartedly agreed, slowly setting you back on your feet, only in doing so, something caught your eye.

"fuck"

There were files on the floor- there were files on the floor because you'd knocked down some of the boxes of evidence- and you hadn't even noticed.

Javier followed your line of sight, but while panic was setting in your heart, he began to smile

"don't laugh!" you hissed, "what the fuck do we do? How do we explain this?"

"we don't" he simply shrugged, closing his zipper back up as you quickly tried to make yourself presentable.

"What?"

"we were never here- now, get back out there"

"I-"

"trust me" he said, retrieving his wallet from the floor.

And for some fucking reason, you did- you trusted him.

"I hate you so much" you muttered, finally exiting the room.

Tg:@fallout-girl219

[euphoria-looney]

Who Said Money Can't Buy Happiness?

Yan!Batfam x Neglected!Reader

m. list|prev|next

"Three things don't play about myself, my money, or my man. Mention one of them and best believe I'm gon' be at your head." 'Neva Play' by Megan Thee Stallion ft. RM

Divider Creds: @selysie , @lil-liaa and @bernardsbendystraws

This plot was inspired by @niwaart, @mimiiiiiiiiisstuff, and esp @coldilikeit

Oh crap, I'm still here.

Despite what manhwas tells you, being sent back in time is not fun. There is no technology, no social media, and I'm being literal here. I've regressed, and the social standards are so goofy. I shouldn't complain too much; I got a high title for reincarnating.

This sucked. I thought that was all a dream yesterday, this can't be happening to me.

Well, I have 500,000 gold coins, which makes me one of the richest people in the world.

Imagine this currency: copper, silver, and gold.

Since I've woken up, I might put the plan that I had in my mind into action.

Let's see if this is just like the movies.

I clapped my hands, and my magic started working. It was getting me ready, brushing my hair, changing my clothes, and applying skincare!

Why did I struggle so hard with the maids yesterday if it was this easy?! I guess that part was on me, but let's be honest, I did no wrong, so that mistake didn't happen.

A person knocked on my door, opening it to see a butler.

"Pardon me, princess, but I had been misguided by the other employees here and have arrived late, from today onwards, I'll be your butler."

I looked at him up and down, almost having a stroke, tell me why he looked like Aldira. My secretary? Though I did tell that biggie if I was going down, he'd come with me.

"No offense, you seem diligent at your job, but why am I not having a maid?"`

"All the maids were too afraid to become your personal assistant, and I took the position, I hope you don't mind that"

Damn, why are you so blunt?

"Your name?"

"Aldira's, Your Highness."

The way he carries himself and how he acts, on top of that, the name, why if I didn't know any better, he sounds just like my Aldira in my past life.

No, that is absurd.

Aldira's POV

For the longest time, I've had only one friend stick to me since we were at least teenagers.

My parents were strict and expected nothing but the best from me, from my grades to my activities and the future path that would await me.

My parents were at best middle class, and that I'm grateful for, don't get me wrong, but if I wasn't as intelligent as I was I would have never gone to Gotham Prep, got in with a scholarship, and excelled.

Unlike those dramatic shows or novels, I was not bullied for being the smartest in the school or being too poor to be one of them, instead, I would be what students admired and compared to.

Many people talked about me positively, and I carried an image that was something every parent would want.

But every time I checked the scoreboard, there was one person behind me in terms of rank, [name] Wayne. Though she went by [name] [last name] for some odd reason, one I would not figure out until later on.

The way we went was goofy, it wasn't cliche or anything. We had been invited to the same study group and my parents believed it would be a good opportunity to build connections with the upper class.

The study session turned boring quickly though and I was left doodling to myself while everyone was studying or asking me to help until I saw a pencil tap my journal making me lift my head to face her, [name].

"You read 'I Became the Male Lead's Adopted Daughter' too?"

That shocked me, how did she know that... is she a stalker?

Her eyes kind of pointed to my phone where the notification of a new chapter upload of the said manhwa popped up.

"Yeah, you read these types of stories too?"

"Sometimes."

And we hit it off from there.

"Can you believe some of the girls are saying we're dating?" I sipped on my black coffee as she drank her matcha latte.

"Wasn't it Parcilla, the girl who has a very weird crush on you?" She questioned me, making me nod.

"You biggie, that means I might be the next target to be bullied because of your fan club, nah, I'm too amazing to be the one bullied."

I slapped her upside the head from that comment.

Don't be fooled though, because behind her laid-back personality, she had a huge ego that could make anyone want to beat her up, she just never expresses it so she's easily likable and I enjoy that personality of hers.

Flash forward and we both have jobs and have monthly meet-ups.

I was busy typing away for my report on a report for my job as manager of a high-end company, of course, I couldn't complain. The salary was good, and I was able to save up for my family to get out of Gotham and head to another part of the world, they urged me to go but then I wouldn't be able to hang out with [name] which I know was a stupid reason but long-distance relationships were neither of our thing.

"Ugh, at this point these imbeciles won't give their report in time for our next meeting and we'll have to push it back to next week or something," I grumbled before hearing the timer go off indicating it was time to take off our face mask.

"Why don't you come and work for my company?" I heard her get up.

"Work for your company?" I repeated.

"Yeah, I mean it's non-profit, comes with many benefits including good insurance that fully works and not half-assed you, and it's triple your pay rate." My eyes widened at that preposterous claim.

"Besides, I need an assistant or secretary, it'd help me a lot." I went over to her and stole the tea that she made and took a sip.

"Fattie."

"IT'S TEA!"

"MY TEA THAT I MADE! YOU SAID THAT YOU DIDN'T WANT ANY!"

And I agreed and they're not lying when they say working together makes or breaks a relationship, as our friendship just grew even more.

Then one day on our hangouts she recommended a new novel to me.

"'I stole the loving family of the Villainess'? Now... the girl I know has no good stories at the moment, but what is this?"

"It's so bad that you want to continue reading the story. And I'm also a little biased since one of the characters has my name."

"No way."

"You want to bet?"

So I read it. And wow, she was not kidding. Also, how the hell did they incorporate her bearing a saintess into this?! As if it wasn't absurd enough...

So, while texting her what she wanted to eat while heading to our shared apartment, an out-of-control truck hit me and before I knew it I was in the story.

Talk about cliche and I arrived at the scene when [name] would shove Serena off but [name] was acting out of character making up some new dialogue, great, it's an even bigger cliche, someone reincarnates into the Villainess, bet she's going to end up forgiving everyone that was rude to her though.

Typical.

After the party and everything, Alfred, our head butler, asked us which one of the maids would volunteer to be Princess [name]'s new assistant. Since no one was going for it, I applied. I mean, the pay rate was great, and I've done my fair share in the retail industry, I know how to deal with goofy entitled customers.

So, why does she seem so familiar? I can't put my finger on it.

What if that's my [name] from my other life?

No, that's absurd and too fictional to work.

Heading to the dining room with my butler close behind, I eventually arrived.

"You're finally here big sister!" Serena's voice interrupted the wholesome family in front of me. Seems everyone had their fill already.

"You're late. Again, how disappointing." Palmola's voice was a sharp knife cutting through the silence that had developed.

"Well, I won't ruin your moods for too long, I have an appointment that I can't miss, so I'll just take this." I whisked away my breakfast and called for my new assistants to prepare a carriage for me.

"And where exactly?" Bruce demanded.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know you cared about where I go and return from." I scrunch my face before heading off.

"I am your father [name]."

"Your majesty, the only people in this room who are talking are the Emperor and a princess, not father and daughter."

Aldira opened the carriage door, allowing me to step in before going in himself.

"May I know where you're headed today, Your Highness?" The coachman asked.

"The mine at WestFord."

"The mine that has been empty for years? Why, my lady, why would you ever need to go there?

"Exploring."

I'm taking a gamble on this and meeting John Constantine before purchasing it.

I sent him a letter before heading to bed last night and got a reply.  

'It would be an honor to sell this cavern to you, Your Highness.

Sincerely,

Duke Constantine.

Well, it was more detailed than that but that's the premise of what he wrote back.

Stepping off the carriage I arrived at the cave. I noticed the Duke.

"Your Highness, how are you doing this fine morning?" He reached out a hand for me to shake.

I took it, his grip firm before I pulled away as did he.

"No need for small talk, it seems this cave would be fine."

"Your Highness, don't you think you're being too rash?! We haven't looked yet!" Aldira came in front of my face frantically.

"I have a hunch. But do me the honor of looking around before I seal the contract."

He didn't need to hear another word before rushing in, before coming out and began making calculations with his magic.

"At best this cave should settle for 45,000 gold, right Duke Constantine?"

"Indeed, young man, Your Highness, would you mind that price?" He asked me before I nodded.

Pulling out a contract, we both read the terms and conditions before signing our names, making our names and the contract glow, making the contract finalized with no loopholes and in no way to break it unless both parties agree.

"What powerful magic you have, unlike the rumors."

 I shrugged, fanning myself, “There are things many people didn’t know about me, but what does it matter? Why should the public know anything about me?” I questioned the Duke.

He chuckled to himself before shaking his head.

“No, not at all, Your Highness, everyone has things they’d like to keep to themselves after all. May I inquire if you will attend today’s coming-of-age celebration at the Acentro Twins?” The last event we went to that became a topic that’s still being talked about most times [P!name] would stay home while the rest of her family went, worsening her reputation.

Which doesn’t make sense, shouldn’t that make it better?

This world is so hateful of my girl.

“Indeed, it would only make sense to. Well, if that’s all I should be off, I have no time to waste, after all a lady needs her time to get ready.” I walked back to the carriage, and Aldira followed me close behind.

The Marquis family, the Acentro. Known for being great in the business world, and even better for their swordsmanship abilities. Recently, the daughter of their house decided to go against society's customs and do archery. But that got overshadowed by the canceling of my engagement.

She and her brother are both very cunning and intelligent, from what I heard, so their coming-of-age ceremony will be huge, last I checked. It would be good if I made relations with them. 

“Aldira, you'll be attending the ceremony with me, no?” 

He looked away from the windows and nodded, “Yes, your highness.”

I just can’t shake the feeling that he’s from another world like me, my Aldira.

“Aldira, you seem to know a lot about business, where do you come from?”

This seemed to catch him off guard as he didn’t respond right away like he usually does.

“Somewhere far, is all. One that is rather advanced but I think it’s gone now.”

“Have you ever heard of someone named ‘Batman’? Silly, right? But that weird name just came to me.”

Batman, Gotham’s vigilante superhero. My good-for-nothing father slowly started acknowledging me after I left the manor. It’s quite uncanny how, in both lives, I still have him as my father, though that could be said for my entire family in this world except my Palmola and Serena.

That made him shocked, eyes widening, looking into mine, like he was thinking over something.

“Are you [name] [last name], Your Highness?”

“Depends, will you still make me coffee in the morning if I confirm that I am, my dear secretary.” 

At that, he practically lunged at me, wrapping his hands around my waist, his head laying on my lap, this would be a terrible position to be in. I patted his head and was also relieved about the revelation, but it was kind of obvious.

“Holy crap, this was not a cliche I expected.” He pulled away, holding onto my shoulders.

“Tell me about it, do you think there are other reincarnations in this world?” He shook his head.

“My system tells me that I’ve located the only other reincarnation in this world, I knew it was you, I just didn’t know it was my [name].” 

“System?” I asked.

“Yeah, did you not get one, I have one that shows my stats and has a quest for me to do.” This is too many story plots for me to handle.

“No, this is crazy, anyway of that system getting us home, though?” Aldira shook his head at that, making me slouch in my seat. 

I scoffed, “This has been one crazy day that I did not expect.”

“Your Highness, we have made it home.” I heard the coachman announce. Aldira helped me down. Back in this miserable place, right after I left it in my previous life. Thoughts and prayers in the chat guys. 

I decided to take a fat nap, setting an alarm before waking up to this monstrosity.

Maids running around like there was a killer on their backs, and were getting outfits and attire ready, crazy how I got no help at all though. By the time I got myself ready and was finishing the touch-ups on Aldria’s, I spotted my family in a family set of clothes all matching.

It was expected though so nothing I should worry about. 

“Wouldn’t this just cause more scandals for you [name]? We’re matching right after your broken engagement.” Aldira scolded me but didn’t back away from receiving my help.

“Don’t kill the mood, Al, just look at how cute we are matching.”

He could only sigh, massaging his forehead, but behind that was a small smile.

What could interrupt this wholesome moment, how about the buffoons behind me?

"Don't you think you've done enough damage to the family, imagine? First the engagement and now your outfit? Matching with a common servant?" Damian scoffed.

"It's called, My entire family decided to choose an outfit and left their 4th princess out of it, but still included the peasant girl. Or did I leave the part where I had a matching outfit?"

"We didn't- I just- You shouldn't speak to your little brother that way, young lady, have some etiquette.'' Palmola inquired.

"Right. My brother."

Barbara coughed into her fist.

"Well, we'd like to inform you that Serena might just be attacked riding alone so she'll have to retake your spot.

"That's fine, I wasn't planning on going in a carriage anyway, too bumpy for my taste, and wouldn't want to leave Aldira alone." I pinned our matching jewelry on his suit and brushed dirt away from his outfit.

"Anything else?" I turned to face them. Some looked hesitant but Palmola took the lead and left. Walking with grace to the carriage.

"How do you feel about teleportation? I'm not one to be late to an event."

"Would love to try it, die wanting to try it, let's do it." Aldira bluntly stated.

"If we die, you can't blame me."

"On second thought-," I snatched his hand before we got teleported.

Arriving at the front of the line, I fixed my outfit.

"That was not bad, great even." No side effects, why yes, magic truly is a blessing phenomenon. Aldira also looked fine, so it seemed I managed this spell just fine, but is anyone surprised? It's me, after all.

The guard standing there nearly jumped out of his boots and bowed lowly. "Welcome, Your Highness! Ehem, Entering her Highness, Princess [name] Wayne!"

"You see that, Al? Even in this life, I'm too important and pretty to ignore."He deadpanned at me.

"That's because you're a very, and I mean very controversial princess. In a bad way. Remember how the original princess got executed because she was rude to the peasant MC?"

"That's why I hated the novel so much, duh. I still can't believe we're stuck here," I was exasperated.

The murmurs that were once stuck in regular conversations go into gossip, between the fact that I arrived without my family once again, and that my attendant wasn't a female but rather male.

I arrived before the twins and got my gift from my special storage.

For Artemis, a bow and arrows, and Apollo, a lyre.

"What an incompetent girl! The gifts are switched." A woman scoffed

"A woman holding a bow, please, what a mockery." A man grumbled.

The twins examined the gifts before looking back up at me.

"A bow?" Artemis grinned at me with a raised eyebrow.

"And a lyre?" Apollo added.

"Indeed, I hope you guys enjoy it, I picked it based on what I believed would suit you guys." I curtsied before going down to the ballroom.

"They play a huge part in the novel in the business industry, not only that, Artemis is known for being the best huntress of the time and years later, with Apollo also being skilled in the music industry and known for understanding how to use a bow and arrow to.

Why, it'd be a shame if we let this opportunity slide to not get on their good side and eventually have them cooperate with us, my dear Aldira." Aldira only gave me a plate of food and started making one for himself.

"Yes, while you're acting like a mastermind over there, honey, how about we eat food before I pass out from the amount of stress I've accumulated." I took his and my plate and put it away on our separate table.

"Can't, dancing in a few moments, can't throw up on the dance floor, and you, being the lucky guy of the night, are joining me."

"We didn't know how to dance back at our high school dance." I flicked my hair back and accidentally hit him in the face.

He coughed out some of the hair from his mouth and squinted at me.

"Our 'dances' that we did were scandalous for their times and even more if we do it here." He's so dramatic.

"Announcing the Waynes, the moonlight of the kingdom!" that door entrance guy announced.

"Look it's Serena, her outfit makes her look so different but she fits right in!"

"I want that outfit too! So chic and cute!"

"She might as well be the fourth princess rather than-"

"Shh!"

Aldira takes another bite of his food and can't help but grit his teeth. This world was just like the last one he was in, how he was still mad when the oldies from their modern time switched their tone on you once you built your multi-billion company on your own.

Before his attention was snatched away by you again, like always uncaring, which was one of the reasons he had admired you, not only because you were his friend.

"That's what makes it fun, Al, don't be a party pooper." Just then the orchestra started, I dragged him away from the food he just got for us and reached the dance floor.

It was just slow steps, one hand on his shoulder and the other on his arm.

"Look, isn't that her?"

"Dancing with... a butler."

"Do you think..."

The chorus soon came along and I was twirled a few times by 

Aldira, before gliding in between his legs and making a swift recovery, twirled some more before he dipped me to the ground, our faces close, our bodies closer to each other and the song finished.

(Dance scene summed up, creds to the idea: @randomlyappearingartist)

"See, I told you this was fun." He could only sweatdrop and sigh before pulling the both of us up and escorting us back to the food.

"D-Did you see that?"

"Didn't she just divorce Prince Connor?"

"You don't think..."

"What other reason, and the look she gave that servant."

"There's no mistaking it."

I finished my food and stretched out of  tiredness, "Man, I wonder what got this event in a stir..." I mumbled.

"We have to schedule a meeting with the twins soon, by the way, I have to get them into my business if I want it to blossom." Aldira nodded before telling me that he was off to get more food.

"Well, I'm going to the balcony, I was feeling claustrophobic with the amount of people crowding the room.

I was on the balcony waiting for Aldira to come back soon after grabbing another plate of food. Behind me was an approaching Grand Duke of the North with signature black hair and red eyes. His outfit's color base was black with red being the secondary base, gold details that showed off the title and golden buttons, a fur coat surrounding his neck, and the cape down to his heel.

Grand Duke Isnwalt, Onyx Isnwalt. He played a major influence on the world, both feared and respected, but didn’t become a main lead but rather just an important figure in the world. I think Serena interacted with him once but her love interest got jealous and dragged her away from him, and he didn’t think much of the interaction other than that it was weird.

“What do I owe the pleasure of meeting the Grand Duke of the North, Sir Isnwalt?” I turned to him and curtsied. 

“Right now you and that butler of yours are the talk of the ball, with your dance moves from earlier, surely you would know why I approached you.” He swirled his champagne in his glass, and a deep chuckle accompanied his words.

“Why I wouldn’t say the dance was all that interesting.” I tilted my head back at him. He put his glass down on the balcony ledge and focused his attention back on me, both of us just staring back at each other before he finally spoke.

“That butler of yours… he’s interesting…” I had to turn away and let out a little stifled laugh. Never saw that coming.

I heaved a deep breath in before turning back to him.

“I-is that so?” I pinched my thigh from laughing again.

“Indeed, not like any other person I’ve ever met, would you mind letting me meet him?” Maybe it’s the way he’s so straightforward about it, or maybe it’s because he’s so serious about it, but it’s making me laugh. But I can’t- I have to hold it in.

Be who you are for your pride~

“I’ll have to think on that, Grand Duke Onyx” I spread my fan out placing it in front of my face. “For you see my butler is very important to me and we have so little time to be separate from each other as he’s such a hardworking servant to me.”

Just then, with great timing, I would say Aldira's showed up, and the Grand Duke approached him, holding his hands and giving the kiss to the tip of his fingers before staring at him.

I took a sip of my champagne, basking in the romance.

"Oh..." Aldira looked shocked before quickly pulling away. He awkwardly laughed before pulling away.

"What the hell.." Aldira scrunched up, making Onyx chuckle in a deep tone, and, what hold on is that blush coating his cheeks?

"You're not like anyone I've ever met before, you're... different, (fine shyt) darling. And you smell rather... sweet."

Wait hold on...? Smell? I feel like I'm forgetting a huge thing about this novel.

Aldira shivered from hugging himself and turned to look at me for help, making me step in.

"Aldira, This is Grand Duke, Onyx Isnwalt. An influential personal worldwide who has contributed very much to our kingdom, and has been labeled the lady and gentleman killer."

He was jaw dropped before whispering in my ear.

"Man idgaf about who he is, I'm getting harassed."

I pulled out my fan, which was my new favorite thing to do now, and whispered back.

"I understand and was going to ask for business cooperation and use you as a guinea pig, but we don't have to... unless..."

Onyx coughed into his fist, making both our attention go to him.

"Dear..."

Aldira hesitated before replying. "Aldira..."

"Aldira," He said slowly before smirking to himself.

"May I have the honor of inviting you to dinner with me? Tomorrow at the Brits Restaurant, anytime you'd like.

"Look, I appreciate the gesture-"

"50 gold as compensation for your troubles"

Aldira hesitates but his greed overcomes his thoughts and he accepts.

I felt like I was interrupting something until Aldira turned around and tugged on my sleeve. "Can we go now?" I smiled and nodded before going to the break room.

"So, how was that?" He deadpanned at me.

"Not fun." He laid his head on my shoulder but then we saw a woman with pink hair looking lost.

I approached her, making Aldira's sag down.

"Are you lost, miss..." 

“Oh! Starfire, Princess of Tamaran.” I curtsied that she was Dick’s fiance.

“Prince Richard's fiance.” I stood up and looked at her.

“You know him?”

“I am a citizen of Wayne's Kingdom.” I played it off.

“My escort and I could take you to him.” Aldira stood up and walked next to me.

“We can?” I elbowed his stomach.

“Yes, we can.”

As we made it forward, you could see the picture-perfect family, a girl in the center of their attention laughing, with a cute little giggle.

“Ehem” I coughed into my fist.

“[N-name] I wasn’t-” Serena started… I think she has the wrong impression on why I’m here.

“Not you, you” I directed my attention to Dick

“Your fiance has been waiting for you, big brother.” 

“Big brother? But he only has four? And if you're not the three I've already met you must be the youngest... however, you’re not the blonde girl with blue eyes." Starfire asked, though not in a mocking way but geniuen curiosity.

This was a major plot point in the future that [name] goes batshit crazy on.

However, I could feel my eye twitching, it's laughable how they treated her despite her position it's almost like they forgot who decided to shoot the load creating her, and if weren't for the fact she was got embarrassed everyday it's the fact that those incompetent nincompoop contributed maybe it's the fact that they favored a peasant over her.

It's hard, not to feel a little annoyed by the display, almost enough to chuck glass on the ground and shove it down their throat till you shred their voice box.

...

But I could never do that, I'm too nice, too kind.

Some were waiting for the drama to unfold, what's next would [name] grab Serena's hair then leaving one of her family members to take Serena side like always, throw a tantrum, or something most.

Others were excited to gossip about the scandal of this entire event.

Most were watching with interest.

Then [name] made a move, slowly turning around and slightly titling her head.

“What did you just say?” [name] directed her attention to Starfire.

Most were sweating, some were ready for the inevitable…

Anyway, this is more of a filler chap. Then anything but hey we got some new characters! Might make something that has face claims for my ocs, idk.

Did you like? 😏

Spring Break has arrived so guess who will be working their booty off (probably).

Anyway taglist. Hopefully I didn't forget or mispell anyone.

Also, send in a request in stuff and hopefully I get to them!

@kittzu @charlenexoxo1 @bat1212 @silverklaus @sillysealsies @roseytheteacup @iliveinyourwallsrat @cozmie @tomoyaki @cynniee @jsprien213 @kore-of-the-underworld @anonymoushehehehe @ninihrtss @devia @fanficloverlol @masterradd-28 @aigenarated @welpthisisboring @h-ib @diemdurantia @alishii @random4137 @totired0-0 @00hellohello00 @sh4rk-k1d @shadowytravelerlover @r-u-s-s-i-a-h @paperhermits @ocean-mochi @simpingpandas @crazycaoticsimp @candlejuice @twismare @itsberrydreemurstuff @delias-stuff @shycreatorreview @randomlyappearingartist @not-aya @c4xcocoa @midnightgrimoire @time-shardz @narcisolefay1 @ryuushou @animerules898

[motorsportbarbie13]

The Yapping Hour Is Upon Us - The Hardest Two Years

In which your relationship with Max is put to the test and you pass with flying colors.

Warnings: this one is heavy at the beginning. Mentions of miscarriages (no active miscarriage on the page, but discussions of them). pregnancy. babies. labor. preemie/NICU baby briefly mentioned. anxiety. Pairing: Max Verstappen x Podcaster!Reader Word Count: 5k words

- The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - Part 2 - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - Part 3 - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - Part 4 - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - Bonus Sessions - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - The Royal Wedding - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - The Wedding Night

(a note: whewwwwww this one has been such a labor of love. i hope you all have enjoyed reading this as much as i loved creating it!!!)

October 2026 Austin, Texas

TheYappingHour posted

293,202 likes liked by maxverstappen1, assistantshannon, christianhorner, and others. theyappinghour We're back babies!! It's been a wild year for us here at The Yapping Hour but we're so pleased to bring you a brand new interview featuring Red Bull Strategist Hannah Schmitz. I first met Hannah when Max and I were first dating and she spent countless hours answering my (often silly) questions with the utmost patience. I love talking to women in motorsport, especially women like Hannah that are sitting on pit wall with the rest of the boys. We talk glass ceilings, what it's like to be work in a male dominated field, and what it took to get where she is today on the episode. It is def not one to miss!! hannahschmitzengineer thanks for having me on, lady!! Love having you around the track more now. xo user9928 hannah gives me such good vibes. i love her sm. user011 so we're just going to ignore how @/yourpersonalinsta just ghosts for how many months after eloping, claiming she's suddenly 'too sick to work' while galavanting all over the globe with Max??? >>>user0028 I knew she was a gold digger this entire time but NOOOOO. No one wanted to listen to me! user1145 its totally fine if you just want to live that WAG life girl but be honest with us. And yourself. Marrying rich was always her goal, wasn't it? >>>user0090 ding ding ding!!

"Thank you again for coming on the show, Hannah! We get so many questions about women in motorsport so I know this episode is going to be so well received." You reach out your arms towards the strategy engineer, enveloping her in a hug. 

Hannah hugs you right back, giving you an extra squeeze. The two of you have always got on really well and you were happy that she had agreed to come on for an episode. It had been a rough year so far, so having an exciting episode to edit and put out was something that you were looking forward to. 

"Thanks for having me! We all miss your episodes in the garage. Everyone was excited to hear that you'd be back for at least one episode." She gives you a sad smile. Hannah is one of the few people that know the real reason behind your absence on socials this year. 

"It feels good to be back. Hopefully I'll be able to do some more things in the last bit of the year. I have a few things in the works." You give her the most positive smile you can muster but it's hard with the waves of nausea that started to roll through you in the last few moments. 

You barely hold it together as you walk Hannah out of the studio that you'd rented in downtown Austin ahead of the US Grand Prix this weekend. Max was back at the track finishing up some media duties but once you finish up with Shannon at the studio, you're going to head back to see him. 

Inside the studio, Shannon is working on packing up once you return from walking Hannah out. "Can you do me a favor?" You ask, voice hesitant. 

Shannon's head snaps up at the anxiety she can hear in your words. You two have been working together so closely for so long, you can both communicate with minimal looks and words now. She can read your mood almost as well as Max can. "Everything okay boss?" 

"Could you swing by the pharmacy before going back to the hotel and pick me up some..." You pause, needing a moment to work your tongue around the next words. "pregnancy tests." Your heart hammers in your chest. 

Shannon blinks at you, hesitant smile on her lips. "Of course." She says softly before reaching out to cup your elbow with a gentle hand. "You feeling okay?" 

Chuckling, you shake your head, "My lunch nearly made a reappearance when Hannah hugged me just now, which is weird because we wear the same perfume sometimes and that's what set me off." 

The moment that wave of nausea hit you, you had started counting back the weeks in your mind since your last period. You had instantly known because it was the kind of math you'd been doing for almost a year now, since getting your IUD out. 

What a year it had been. 

"I'd do it myself but there's a lot of media out this weekend and I've already been papped. There's already so much negative coverage out there, I don't want to give more fuel to the fire." 

Back in June you had made the difficult decision to put production on The Yapping Hour on hold for the near future, citing health issues. Most of your fans had been supportive but there had been a lot of backlash about how you were a gold digger and were only with Max for his money. People saw you traveling a lot with Max and assumed the 'health issues' were a cop out and that you were just lazy. Everyone in your inner circle knew it was absolutely untrue but the lies perpetuated by accounts like Deux Moi the F1 gossip accounts still stung. 

This year had shaped up to be the most challenging year for both you and Max, personally and professionally. With only a handful of races to go, Max was sitting solidly in second place in the drivers championship, behind a white hot Lando Norris who'd won 8 races already this year. While Max was still able to keep the fight going, the car had continued to deteriorate this year and even Mad Max could barely keep it on the road some weekends. It had been the hardest season of his entire career. 

Despite all the difficulties, both personal and professional, you and Max were stronger than ever. There hadn't been any other choice after you what you had gone through together. The 'health issues' that you had cited earlier in the year had actually been the three miscarriages you had suffered back to back to back since getting married in December. Through it all, the doctors appointments, the late nights spent sobbing in pain, the terror tinged excitement at each 'positive' test, Max had been there for you. He was an unwavering and unmoving well of support for you in the darkest of hours. 

Shannon's eyes go watery as she tugs at your hand. "Oh, mama..." 

You chuckle darkly, "Not a mom yet, Shan." 

Shannon shakes her head, "Yes you are. Those three precious babies were yours and will always be yours." 

Tears sting at the back of your eyes as you walk out of the studio still holding your assistant's hand. You knew she was right. You still felt that constant ache and connection to the babies you had lost, even the first one that you had lost at just four weeks when it was barely more than a bunch of cells. The anxiety that courses through you as you get in the back seat of the car that Max had sent for you is so overwhelming you nearly ask Shannon to stay with you. 

"I'll go get that stuff from the pharmacy then I'll drop them off at your room, okay? It'll be okay, boss." Shannon says warmly before shutting the door of the black SUV. 

All you can do is nod in response, hoping she's right. 

Hours later, you stand with your hands braced on the vanity in your hotel room. Max is caught at the track still, needing to meet with the engineering team for a bit longer than expected so you're left alone in the room just staring down at the box Shannon delivered to your door. 

There's a flood of mixed emotions swirling all together in your stomach as you look at the small white stick starting back at you tauntingly. You had wanted to wait for Max but at this point, you didn't know when he'd be back and you hadn’t been able to wait any longer. You'd been through this so many times this year and had seen that little plus sign three times already, all ending with heartbreak and pain. You weren't sure if you'd be able to survive another one. But at the same time, you had to know. 

Max opens the door to your shared hotel room quietly, wanting to surprise you by coming back early and taking you to dinner. You're not where he expected to see you though, snuggled up on the bed watching Netflix. 

The bathroom door is thrown open and he hears muffled sniffling floating out, sending his anxiety through the roof. After the year you've had, anything that's got you upset sends him off the deep end. He finds you leaning over the counter staring at something. Max stops in the doorway for a moment, watching your body language. Your hair is tied up in a messy bun and you're wearing nothing but one of his old sweatshirts that's seen better days. The tattered sleeves fall over your wrists, only allowing your fingers to peek out. He can barely see your wedding ring peaking out from the navy sweatshirt and for a moment, his mood shifts. Here you were, nearly a year later and he still gets love struck seeing you wearing his ring. His wife. It still stopped him in his tracks when he realized how lucky he was to have you and how lucky you both had been to survive this year so far. 

“Liefje?” He murmurs, leaning against the door frame. He doesn't want to scare you, so he keeps his distance at first. "Everything okay?" 

You startle a bit, hand flying to your throat when you gasp in surprise. "Max!" You breathe, eyes swimming with tears that haven't had a chance to fall yet. "I...I don't know." 

Max crosses the tiled floor, the cold biting into his feet through his socks. "Hey, what's got you so upset baby? Shhh..." He takes you into his arms, cradling you against his chest. You relish the warmth, your body having gone stone cold after seeing the results of the test you hadn't been able to wait for Max to take. 

"I nearly threw up after hugging Hannah today even though she was wearing one of my favorite perfumes." You tell him, nearly chuckling when he looks at you utterly confused. Extracting yourself from his grasp, you reach behind for the test and hold it up so he can see it.

"I'm pregnant, Max." 

The strangled sob that you choke out nearly takes Max to the ground. He folds you into his arms again, rocking you back and forth as you shake like a leaf. The miscarriages had been so hard on you, each one more difficult than the last. The memory of you, curled up on the bed when you had started bleeding during the third one, while you wailed about your body betraying you and how you were broken, hits him like a truck. He'd give anything to make this pain stop for you, to take away the fear and anguish that he can feel rolling off of you in waves. 

"Shhhh, schatje." He soothes, knowing that nothing he could possibly say will quell the terror you're feeling right now. 

"I can't lose another baby, Max. I can't. It’ll destroy me.” The only thing you wanted to do was protect this little life that was inside you right now, bits of you and bits of Max combined to make an entirely new human. You’d been here three times before and you’d failed. Your body had failed to keep the baby inside you safe and you didn’t know if it was going to happen again. The doctors had been baffled after every loss, telling you that there wasn’t any rhyme or reason to it, that sometimes losses happened and there wasn’t anything that could have been done about it. There hadn’t been any genetic abnormalities in any of the samples they’d taken, hadn’t been anything that you had done to make you lose the pregnancies. No, it had been completely and utterly random that your body just hadn’t been able to make a pregnancy stick. 

You’d never felt more like a failure. 

“My love, it will be okay. We’ll get through this, I promise.” Max wanted to tell you that you wouldn’t lose this baby either. He wanted more than anything to tell you that but the words wouldn’t come. He couldn’t tell you that because he didn’t know if it was true and telling you something that might turn out to not be true killed him. “We will always get through these things together, no matter what happens.” 

You pull back out of Max’s chest, needing to lose yourself in those icy blue eyes you were so obsessed with. You knew, deep down, that he was right. Max had been your constant source of support since the day you met him. You had no reason to doubt him and knew that he would get you through this even if you lost this baby too but that didn’t stop the fear from wrapping it’s sharp, cold fingers around your throat. “I’m so scared.” You whisper. 

Max runs a hand over the top of your head before framing your face. Brushing the pad of his thumb over your cheek, he smiles down at you. “I know.” He admits, knowing that you need to know that he’s in this with you right now and that you’re on the same page. “I am too, but like I said, we’ll get through this. We’ve got to make a plan, sitting here crying is just going to make your anxiety worse, okay?” 

You nod, grinning when he laces his fingers with yours to pull you out into the main part of the hotel room. He leads you over to the bed where he sits before patting his lap, inviting you to sit between his legs. With your back pressed to his chest, you snuggle into him as deeply as you can, enjoying the way his arms snake around you to clasp together over your tummy. “I’ll call Greg in the morning and have the jet take you back to Monaco and you can have Shannon make you an appointment with Dr. Mallkin. I’m sure he’ll get you in as soon as possible.” 

You freeze. “No, Max.” You protest, heart thrumming in your throat from the panic. “No, I don’t want to leave you. Not now. What if I lose it again and I’m half way around the world from you? Please, I don’t want to leave you.” You know you sound pathetic, begging like a scared little girl but you can’t help it. The thought of being alone in your apartment in Monaco while Max finished this triple header to Mexico and then Brazil sent frigid shivers of fear zinging through your veins. 

Max tucks his head into the crook of your neck, mouthing at the warm skin there. “Shhh…Okay, Schatje. You don’t have to go back to Monaco but you absolutely can’t come to Mexico and Brazil with me. The travel and stress won’t be good for you, you know that.” 

You both sit in silence for a few moments, each contemplating what can be done. There was no way you were going to go back to Monaco right now but you also knew that traveling down to Mexico and then Brazil wouldn’t be good for you or the baby and you desperately needed this baby to stick. 

“What if we flew you to your parents up in California?” Max suggests, breaking the silence first. “You could go spend a few weeks with them, get in to see a doctor up there to just check and make sure everything looks okay and then when I’m done in Brazil, I’ll fly to get you and we can go back to Monaco together? We have a three week break after Brazil so you won’t be alone for a bit.” 

The thought of going back to your childhood home for a few weeks was immensely appealing. “And then maybe I could do Qatar and Abu Dhabi with you to finish out the year if everything is good and Dr. Mallkin gives me the okay?” 

Max is quiet, not wanting to agree to any more travel than absolutely necessary but when your head swivels around to look at him, pleading look on your face, he caves. “If Dr. Mallkin gives you the okay, we can do that.” 

Monaco May, 2027

yourpersonalinsta posted

yourpersonalinsta we've been hiding a little secret. baby verstappen due in july and we couldn't be more excited. (tagged: maxverstappen1) kikagomes ahhhhh i can finally talk about this in real life!! so excited for you bestieeeee >>>yourpersonalinsta love you!! user0029 ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! baby verstappen incoming! user0445 july?! oh my god, they hid this for so long! user442 omg that's why she hasn't been at races this year! bet all those assholes predicting a divorce feel like assholes now redbullracing already have the mini f1 car in the garage for baby verstappen!!

33 weeks. You had made it pas the danger zone. That little tiny bean in your belly had dug itself in so deep that you hadn’t lost this baby, much to your delight and surprise. Those early weeks you had spent with your parents in California had been some of the scariest days of your life. Every time you went to the bathroom you had expected to see blood everywhere. But it had never come. When Max had finished with Mexico and Brazil, he had flown to get you before taking you back home. The rest of the season panned out exactly like you had expected: Lando had won his first world championship with Max finishing a close second. 

A few weeks into winter break, Max had approached you one afternoon while you lounged on the couch in your Monaco apartment. There would be no long distance travel for you this winter break due to the precarious state of your pregnancy. You had been cleared to go to Qatar and Abu Dhabi to see the rest of the season pan out, but after that, Dr. Mallkin had effectively grounded you. ‘I want to retire’ was the bomb Max had dropped on you that afternoon. You had been silent for several minutes, letting the implications of his statement sink in before you had been able to respond. If there was one thing that drove you insane about Max was how he was always threatening to retire despite being absolutely awful at sitting still and relaxing so you had never taken his whinging seriously. Until that afternoon. 

In the end, after several hours of discussion and back and forth, you had convinced Max to give it one more season. He couldn’t let his career end on such a low note, losing out on his sixth championship. He had wanted to retire to spend more time with you and the baby but you knew he’d be restless and that he wasn’t ready to retire just yet. In the end, you had come up with a compromise: he’d race for the 2027 season and you and the baby would travel with him for the second half of the season so he wouldn’t miss any of the big milestones. You were due sometime in July, which was perfect timing. If everything worked out, you’d have the baby right around the summer break and by the time racing started back up in Belgium, you’d be ready to take the baby on the road. 

But in the end, it didn’t end up working out like that. 

The Monaco Grand Prix was one of your favorite weekends, even if Max hated it. He didn’t like how busy the city became. Hated how loud and noisy the streets were. Secretly hated the track due to how difficult it was to actually race and overtake, despite dominating the track in recent years.

Earlier in the week, you had finally shared the news of your pregnancy on social media, having waited until you were nearly full term before breathing even a word of it to anyone outside of your inner circle. You had stopped traveling to races weeks ago and your presence had been wildly noted all over the gossip accounts, some even going so far as to start rumors that you and Max were already divorced. So imagine everyone’s surprise when you posted the photos of your belly gently covered by Max’s hands. People went wild. 

Sunday morning, you’re in Red Bull hospitality sitting with Liam’s girlfriend Hannah and Kika while Max is in the garage getting prepped for the race in a few hours. During last year’s silly season, there had been some major reshuffling of the teams and Pierre had been welcomed back into the Red Bull stables as Max’s teammate. Liam was still driving for VCARB alongside Franco Colopinto who had taken the second seat after Yuki had left to join Aston Martin this season. 

Your left hand sits lightly on your ever expanding belly as you listen to Kika gush about Pierre proposing last week during the little break the grid had had when something that feels like an electric shock snaps across your stomach. “Oh.” You gasp, sitting up a bit straighter in your chair. 

Hannah immediately clocks the pain that streaks across your face and reaches for your hand. “Are you okay?” 

The pain takes your breath away momentarily but as quick as it comes on, it’s gone. A few deep breaths and everything rights itself. “Yeah, just some ligament pain or something. My doctor said now that I’m further on I could start getting Braxton Hicks but that it wasn’t a huge deal as long as they’re not steady or coming in regular intervals.”

“If it happens again, I’m telling Max.” Kika says, face full of worry. Since Pierre’s resigning with Red Bull, the two of you had gotten closer and she was one of your best friends now. You knew she’d 100% tattle on you to Max, who had turned into an even more intense mother hen the closer you got to the end of your pregnancy. 

“Oh, that’ll go over well.” You roll your eyes. “He’ll flat out refuse to race even if they’re just false labor pains. Mouth shut, Kiks.” You order, raising a brow in challenge. 

Kika just rolls her eyes back at you, folding her arms over her chest. “Fine.” 

Everything goes back to normal for the next few hours. You sit in the Red Bull hospitality with Shannon, Kika, and Hannah by your side to watch the race, not having near enough energy to stand in the garages for the race. Max had started P2 but had managed to pass Lando somewhere on lap 15 and had been in the lead ever since. 

And then, suddenly, all hell breaks loose. 

“Fuck.” You hiss, clutching at your stomach as Max starts the last 15 laps of the race. 

Kika’s head whips towards you, panic in her eyes. “What?” 

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck.” You mutter, standing up to look at the puddle you’ve left in the black plastic chair. “I think my water just broke.” 

“What?!” Kika shrieks, causing the entirety of the hospitality suite to turn their heads in unison to look at you. “What?” She whispers a second time, just as urgent but quieter this time. 

“I think I’m in labor.” You work to keep the fear out of your voice but you fail. You’re not full term yet, you can’t be going into labor. This baby needed to stay cooking for a few more weeks. Panic strangles you as Hannah reaches for your hand. A sharp, shooting pain has you crying out, once again drawing attention to your little table. “Oh fuck, I think I’m in labor. I’m only 33 weeks Hannah, I can’t be in labor.” 

The pain of your three miscarriages comes charging back, terror flooding your system at the thought of losing a forth baby, this one so far into your pregnancy. The kicks, the hiccups, everything has made this pregnancy so much more real. You didn’t think you’d survive another loss.  

Hannah, who just finished her first year of medical school, squeezes your hand. “Good news is, 33 weeks is viable out of the womb but we should still get to the hospital. Little dude is going to be a bit on the small side.” 

“Oh for fucks sakes.” You groan, knowing Max is going to lose his shit. He’d been worried about this exact scenario more than you cared to think about. His orders had always been to have GP or Christian tell him over the radio if you ever went into labor during a race and he’d stop right then and there. 

“There’s only 15 laps to go.” You glance up at the TV screen above you. “Okay, 14 now. I’m not leaving until he’s out of that car and we’re not saying a word to him until he’s taken the checkered flag.” You stare pointedly at Kika, who had leapt out of her chair when you had declared you were in labor, presumably to go straight to the garage and tattle on you. 

“You most certainly are not waiting until he’s finished to leave, are you insane?” Hannah whispers, trying to avoid drawing even more attention to you. “I’m going to find a car to take us to the hospital, which should be interesting considering half the city is shut down. We might need an ambulance.” 

“I am not leaving the paddock in an ambulance!” You gasp as another contraction hits you, stealing your breath from your lungs. 

“You’re not going to have a choice.” Hannah turns to Shannon. “Can you go to the garage and tell GP that she’s in labor and that the moment he’s out of that car, he needs to get his ass to the hospital. Kika, stay here with her and try to keep her calm.” 

While the drama is unfolding in the hospitality building, Max is working on winning his fourth race of the season, the car feeling better than it has all season. When Hannah finally finds a medical official, telling him that there’s a woman in pre-term labor that needs to get to the hospital immediately, Max crosses the finish line in P1. 

GP immediately comes on the radio. “Max, we need you in right now, no cool down lap.” 

“What? What’s wrong?” Confusion plays at the edge of his voice as he starts towards the pits on the other side of the track. 

In the garage, GP glances at Shannon, who shakes her head. “Just get to the garage now, okay?” 

In his gut, he knows it’s about you. He knows instantly just by the sound of GP’s voice. Something’s wrong, he can feel it in every nerve ending of his body. “Is she okay?” 

“She’s okay for now.” 

Relief floods Max’s system as he desperately tries to get back to the garages without hitting anything or anyone, which is proving to be very difficult. All he can think about is you and getting to you as fast as possible. Was it the baby? He had known it was a bad idea for you to be out in the paddock today. Had thought there was too much excitement and activity for you to be out and he was kicking himself for allowing you to be here even though deep down, he knew that you would have been here no matter what. He just hoped he didn’t regret agreeing to it. 

Shannon goes to Max first and explains everything. How your water had broken with 15 laps to go. How Hannah had found an ambulance to take you across town to the hospital. How you were probably already there, Kika and Hannah both riding along with you in the ambulance so you weren’t alone. How you were scared but putting on a brave face for everyone, which Max thought was very typical of you. 

Christian sidles up to Max next. “There’s a car waiting for you with a police escort to Princess Grace Hospital. That’s where they took her. Go, we’ll take care of any FIA fines or hubbub.” 

Max doesn’t need to be told twice before taking off, still sweaty in his race suit. As he’s racing out of the garage, Shannon calls after him. He pauses, despite not wanting to but grins when she holds out a bag for him. “Thought you might want a change of clothes for when you get to the hospital.” 

Max snags the bag out of her hands before giving her a warm smile. “Thanks, Shan.” 

“Now go! Your wife is having a baby!” 

There’s a reverent hush that blankets the NICU in the middle of the night. The floor is near empty, only one other baby in the little clear covered crib besides your baby. It’s been hours since you gave birth but you’re finally up and out of bed, sitting in the wheelchair Max brought for you in your room moments ago. 

“The doctor says he’s a fighter.” Max murmurs, hand clasped on your shoulder. 

Tears burn before spilling down your cheeks as you take in the baby in front of you. He’s only 33 weeks and a tiny little wisp of a baby, but the pediatrician that was on call when you came in is confident that he’ll be okay with some extra attention that being in the NICU will bring. “He’s so small.” You whisper, reaching up to grasp at Max’s hand. 

Max had gotten to the hospital just in time. Kika and Hannah had been at the head of your bed when he had burst into the hospital room just as you had been feeling the need to start pushing. He had been white as a ghost, paler than you’d ever seen him but the moment you laid eyes on him, you had burst into tears. “Max.” You sobbed as Kika and Hannah discreetly showed themselves out of the birthing suite. They had stayed in the waiting room for the next several hours though, neither wanting to leave before knowing how you and the baby were doing. 

Like he had been doing since the moment he walked into your life, Max had never left your side and had been the single source of strength you had drawn on during the entire labor process. Everything moved so quickly you hadn’t had a chance to even ask for an epidural so you had labored completely naturally. In the end, it hadn’t really mattered because your labor had progressed so quickly Dr. Mallkin had barely had time to get his scrubs on before the baby was crowning. 

“What are we going to call him?” Max asks, staring down at the tiny baby boy. He still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that he had come so early and that he was now a dad. It terrified him just as much as it thrilled him. He was so proud of you as well, the entire labor process something that he had to just sit back and watch in awe. If Max hadn’t thought that you were the stronger one in the relationship before, he most certainly thought it now. 

“I like the name Theodore.” You say, reaching out to brush your fingers on the clear plastic that held your tiny cherub of a baby. “Theo for short.” 

Max’s heart gave a squeeze. “It’s perfect. What about Theo Nicholas.” 

Your head whips around to stare at your husband. “Nicholas? Like, my dad Nicholas?” 

“I think it suits the little guy well, don’t you? And I like the idea of him carrying on your dad’s name. One of the greatest men I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing.” 

Now you were really sobbing. The fact that it had been Max to suggest giving his son your dad’s name for a middle name created this soft, gooey center in your stomach. “I love you so much, Max.” You say, choking back another sob. 

Max leans down, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he watches the son you’ve given him sleep peacefully. “I love you too, schatje. I love you both.” 

maxverstappen1 posted

1,208,391 likes liked by yourdad, yourpersonalinsta, kikagomes, and others maxverstappen1 baby boy couldn't wait until july to make his grand entrance. tiny verstappen is here and life couldn't be better. forever in awe of you @/yourpersonalinsta. being a momma looks good on you, schatje. love you forever. yourpersonalinsta love you more, maxie. you're already the worlds best dad to theo. >>>user9383 THEO??? that is the cutest name >>>user2993 they're literally life goals oh my GODDDDD charlesleclerc congratulations friend!! gorgeous family you've got there. redbullracing love seeing max in his dad era!

yourpersonalinsta posted

1,598,019 likes liked by maxverstappen1, hannahstjohn, assistantshannon, and others yourpersonalinsta welcome to the world theodore nicholas verstappen. you are already so loved, baby boy. (tagged: maxverstappen1) maxverstappen1 my 2 favorite people on this planet. you're already such an amazing mother, baby. love you to the ends of time. >>>user458 i'm sobbing hannahstjohn he is the cutest little turkey ever. i am so in love with him! congrats mama!!! >>>yourpersonalinsta thank you for forcing me into that ambulance otherwise we could have had a paddock baby on our hands >>>user0938 this is such f1 lore, i love it

Tags: @shelbyteller @formulaal @martygraciesversion381 @longhairkoo @samantha-chicago

[scientia-rex]

Sometimes people tell me I'm a good person. I'm not a good person by nature, or by default. I'm a good person because I've decided that it's important to me to act like one, on a daily basis, forever.

My actual nature is that I want power. I want power and I want my life to be easy and I want other people to be forced to be nice to me even if they hate me. I want other people to have to suck up to me, I want to watch people who I know hate me suffer through the indignity of having to suck up to me. I want to hurt people who hurt me. I want all of these things in the same exact deeply recognizable way that a gorilla or a chimpanzee does. I watch those documentaries and I recognize myself, intimately. The fact that I can behave like a good person in spite of that has taken me a long time and a lot of effort to achieve.

What you feel isn't as important for your "goodness" as what you do. And you get good at what you practice. So practice your skills at being polite, pleasant, kind. Practice gently interrupting negative behaviors--whether that's someone's negative behaviors directed towards themselves, or directed towards someone else. The idea that we have to be inherently without sin is such Christian garbage. It's psychological gibberish. We want things! We want everything! That is normal and human and the key is not acting on every bad feeling you have.

I have taken my insatiable desire for power and to manipulate people and I have used it for good. I have learned how to manipulate people into coming to the doctor and taking their blood pressure medication and being honest about their recreational substance use. I have taken my psychology education and I have used it to craft a persona that makes people feel at ease. I go home at the end of the day exhausted, because maintaining a persona for ten hours straight is exhausting, but I do it happy, because I manipulated the people I work with into feeling better and having brighter days. I manipulated my patients into feeling good about their achievements and recognizing where we need to do things differently.

The hard part is that when the mask slips, people find it not just off-putting but deeply upsetting. When I explain things like "I have thought very carefully about how I would conduct a career in domestic terrorism because I would genuinely like to bomb the headquarters of most American insurance companies, but I don't see a way to do it without getting caught and either killed or spending the rest of my life in prison, and at the moment I consider that an unacceptable outcome," people go from "ha ha! my wacky colleague" to "Jesus Christ, I didn't realize there was something actually wrong with you."

Anyway, don't make your kids read the extended works on Machiavelli at twelve, my dad thought he was helping me but all he accomplished was making me sad I'll never be a king.

[callmearcturus]

The majority of RT will be saved by community archive efforts.

The only reason you can read all of Homestuck is because two(?) people built a program to allow you to experience it, all online versions are broken or compromised and will only become more so with time.

Spec Ops: The Line, one of the most important games (even if nowadays it seems trite), is no longer legally available to purchase and can only be pirated.

The Nintendo 3DS shop was taken down, making multiple GENERATIONS of games extremely difficult to access.

My honest suggestion to everyone is to pick something. Just one or two things that you care about preserving, buy some hard drives when they go one sale and just save copies of things you like. For me, I have a huge selection of video game ROMs and ISOs, games I don't even plan to play, but I want to have record of them. I also have backups of a few podcasts that are over but I want to ensure never get lost.

(specifically bc there WAS a hilarious movie recap podcast I enjoyed.... That without warning was deleted and is now gone. I'll never listen to it again.)

Pick the thing you want to archive, and do it. You don't need to save everything but we all should save something.

[viasdreams]

Nightwalker ཐི❤︎ཋྀ ~ after route: mortality

My Hyuck,

Hello my love, how are you? I hope with all my soul that you're well, but if not, just blame all your feelings on Jaemin, just like when we first met. I know these days the two of you are close but he did try to basically kill me once remember?

I would say I hope Mark got this letter to you, but I know he did. He's very reliable like that, that's exactly why I trusted him with this. I feel so at peace knowing you have people like him surrounding you. Please thank him for me.

Okay, I have to write out all my sappy feelings now so I'll try my best to be serious, even though we both know that was never my strong suit. Pardon me if I crack a few jokes in this. I'll try to keep them actually funny, don't worry. How embarrassing would it be if I was unfunny from beyond the grave?

Over the years, you asked me a few times if I wanted you to turn me. I only ever responded with a shake of the head and never gave you an explanation, not that you ever asked for one. To be honest, even now I don't really have a reason for not wanting to. It just never felt right for me. I always waited for my doubts to leave me, but they never did. I tried so hard to want it Hyuck, I really did. Sometimes I wish I just did it. I mean, I wouldn't have to write this if I turned. But, that wouldn't be fair to either of us.

Thank you for staying with me through everything. I searched for reservations in your eyes as time went on, but I never found any. Even as our public-facing relationship changed from a young couple going out to lunch to a nice young man helping an old lady cross the street, there was never a hint of regret or disappointment toward me in your gaze. Only love. So much love.

If I were given the choice to go back to any point in my life, I would go to that night by the deli so I could relive every moment with you. Every ounce of pain, physical or emotional, that I went through to be with you was worth it. I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. That's something I have no doubts about.

Don't you dare read this and get all mopey okay? I know that's what you're going to want to do, but don't. Receiving this letter doesn't signify that the world ending, it's just the world changing, and that's okay. Everything's okay. You're okay.

You're the most amazing person I've ever met and I know you're going to continue to live an amazing life. Please continue living Hyuck. This is not the end. You have so much left to do, don't let my absence stop you. If not for yourself, live because I need something more entertaining to watch than Renjun and Jeno arguing in the nursing home.

I know I'm asking a lot for someone not there, but please look after Jisung for me. It hasn't happened yet, but I worry that Chenle is going to dull that boy's sparkle with his "Chenleness", so I need you to prevent that for me.

Writing this is making me reflect on my life and all my memories are overwhelmingly warm. It's not because I lived through intense global warming, although that definitely made my memories a lot sweatier. It's because of you. For such a physically cold man, you brought so much warmth into my life. My life was so happy because of you.

I love you so much Hyuck. My body might not be, but my love for you is immortal.

Thank you for experiencing life with me.

Thank you for loving me.

I love you.

Eternally,

Yn

hyuck finished reading your, now-framed, letter for the billionth time and slipped it back into his bag, careful not to crush the flowers he brought.

the weather, like it was every time he came to visit you, was sunny, making it hard for him to see his screen as he typed out a thank you text to mark. mark told him years ago that it wasn't necessary for hyuck to thank him after every readthrough of your letter, but you asked him to thank mark so that's what he was going to do. at this point, at least fifty percent of his and mark's text conversation consisted of thank yous.

with the text sent, hyuck made his way to his usual seat next to your headstone. he'd sat there so many times that the dirt had a permanent indent in the shape of his butt. he never dared fix it because he knew it would have made you laugh, if anything he tried his best to worsen the damage.

"hey beautiful," he greeted, "i got these for you."

he pulled the, slightly damaged, flowers out of his bag and switched out the ones from the last time he was there.

"i have so much to tell you, i don't even know where to start. oh let me tell you about the shit i saw jisung do-"

hyuck began, as he had done since the first time he read your letter, to tell you about how he was living his life.

masterlist ~ route two: immortality

a/n: i cried, you crew, we all crode T_T lowkey felt like i was actually on my deathbed writing to my lover </3 ALSO this isn't a bad ending at all 🙂‍↔️ sad does NAWT equal bad!! my bbys lived full happy lives, its just that now one is living for two <3

taglist (open): @miyawwn @nanaxwi @mystverse @mmoonlee @dudekiss3r @honeynanamin @haefelt @nneteyamss @iamsimplyasimp @roseangelxfuma @haechsworld @hyuck-me @catpjimin @toyoongg @sthwaaberry @kim-seungmins-gf @sunghoonsgfreal @sunflowerhae @galacticnct @slayhaechan @multifandomania @jasluvsjae @injunnie-lemon @swanyvess @hahaechans @aerivrs @kirbrary @akunoeyebrows @snowyseungs @keeryverse @alethea-moon @flaminghotyourmom @elsbunny @introvertatitsfinest @ypoom151999 @1starqi @emptynote @wonswondrland @smilefordongil @onlyforyoukook @gomdoleemyson @jaehyunandonly @kukkurookkoo @lampcults @nightcat101 @hyuckna25 @yanagisprettygf

(if the tag doesn’t go through, plz check your privacy settings ☺️)

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

a white stone. l Joel Miller

Summary: it was a hard time for you

Warnings: angst, lots of tears, lots of grief, tw: miscarriage, loss of a child, mourning, unwise decisions, one infected, depressing thoughts, risky behavior, Ellie is there, trying to deal with grief, and finally some hope

A/N: I'll be honest, your reaction to the previous chapter really touched me. my heart was breaking while writing this, but I wanted it to be there. I promise they'll be happy. I'm not a monster after all. but I was moved when I saw your comments and when I could interact with you, it was really nice. thank you for being here and reading.

your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes

short stories from life. [masterlist]

"Joel, I'm so sorry for your loss... You didn't deserve this." Ann's soft voice reached his ears. Her eyes were shining with tears, Joel knew that you had grown very close. "I wish I could help you, I would like to talk to her, but I don't think it would be good, considering…my condition."

His gaze followed her hand, which lightly touched her rounded belly clearly visible under her dress.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." he replied, his voice a bit hoarse, but he tried to sound nice. He flinched when Ann touched his arm.

“If you need anything, tell me. Shane and I will do whatever it takes.” She pulled a small package out of her bag and handed it to him. “I made her these cookies. She really liked them last time. Can you give them to her?”

Joel nodded and took the gift from her. Ann didn't hold him back any longer and quickly left, he knew she had shed a few tears. Maria looked similar when she came to him in the morning. She offered to help him with the laundry. Tommy must have told her about the blood stains Joel had found, she had wanted you to avoid stumbling upon them again when you got home.

He didn't have the strength to get involved in the discussion and let her take everything she thought she needed to wash.

Ellie was much quieter too. She made sure you came back from the clinic that evening and promised to tidy up the house, make you tea or something. She wanted to be useful.

It was already dark when you and Joel set off home together, in silence. Just like a few weeks earlier, when you had gone in with your heart in your sleeve to find out you were pregnant, at this point you had both returned broken, not knowing how to cope with the loss. Dr. Morris had told you to rest, so your hiding in the bedroom was understandable. But the days passed and nothing changed.

"She needs time." he explained to Ellie and wanted to add "Like all of us." but he stopped himself.

But then something strange happened. He could clearly hear the creaking of the door, quiet footsteps upstairs. It was Ellie who would sneak into your bedroom, spending hours there sometimes.

"Sometimes we talk, sometimes we're silent." she said when Joel asked her about it one evening. "You know, she blames herself for all of this... She doesn't say it." she added, seeing Joel's worried look. "But I can see it in her eyes."

Your eyes. That was the saddest thing about all of this. Joel had the impression that life had disappeared from them. You have become a body. Still warm, still with a beating heart, but empty inside. He didn't know what to do about it.

"Remember... You once told me that it's not time that heals wounds, it's people. Can't you help her with that? I mean... You love each other, right? I know you're suffering too, but somehow you're coping."

Joel was barely coping with it, really. He did what he could - worked at the stables, helped with renovations, came home to see you were still there. Tommy would sometimes try to talk to him, but he was avoiding it more and more.

"I'm sorry, Joel." Your quiet voice made him look up from the book he was reading in bed and look at you. You came out of the bathroom, your hair still wet, your shirt sticking to your damp body.

"What are you apologizing for, darling?" he asked anxiously.

You folded your arms nervously across your chest, your eyes glazed over. He wanted to get up and take you in his arms, but you looked like a scared animal and he knew he couldn't do that.

"I'm sorry I let you down." you finally choked out, a voice filled with tears "I think this is my punishment, you know. I was so afraid to accept the idea of ​​pregnancy, I was so afraid of all this... What if this child felt it? What if it was because of this?"

"Don't say that." he interrupted you, getting out of bed and taking a few steps towards you "We were both terrified. I know you're in pain, but..."

"You don't know how I feel!" you sobbed "You have no idea!"

He gulped looking at you with pain "I think I know..."

Then it hit you. Joel really knew what you felt, and he had lived with this pain for much longer. Tears flowed down your cheeks and you covered your mouth with your hand to stop the loud sob that escaped your throat.

"And I gave you this pain again..." you choked out, feeling your throat burning.

Warm hands grabbed your face, Joel directed it towards himself. The brown eyes that stared at you were so gentle, so good that you wanted to drown in their depths.

"I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me, but I don't know the words to describe it. You gave me more than I deserved, baby. And I know you're hurting now, I can't promise you it'll be easy, but you're not alone in this. You have me, Ellie, Tommy and Maria, you have Ann and Shane and..."

He didn't finish, because you pulled away and snuggled into his chest, hugging him with all your might. Tears soaked his shirt, but for a moment he hoped he saw the seed of life in your eyes.

Quick footsteps echoed through the stables and Joel glanced over his shoulder to see Shane approaching him. The man nodded in greeting.

"Look, I don't know if this is a good idea, but if she thinks she can handle it..." he began, Joel quickly interrupted.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, putting down the brush.

"You don't know anything?" Shane raised his eyebrows and shook his head. "It's a good thing I came to you first." Your name left his lips. "She came to me with the idea of ​​going back to patrolling. The doctor said there were no health issues, but..."

"You can't be serious." Joel mumbled. "Yeah, the doctor said she was fine, but... Jesus, I didn't know. Has she been to Tommy about this yet?"

Shane shrugged. "Listen, I respect you Joel. I know you're both having a hard time right now, this loss..." Joel looked down and Shane didn't pursue the matter, but he finished his thought. "I don't know if it's wise for her to go on patrol. Maybe in a few weeks. Sure, I can go with her, I'll keep an eye on her, but still..."

Joel cleared his throat, his brow furrowed. "Thank you for telling me. I'll talk to her."

Shane nodded. They were both silent for a moment, until he finally said the words that had been going through Joel's head. "She wouldn't do anything risky, would she?"

Joel wasn't sure about that. You took it one day at a time. The sun rose and set, and you both tried to find your way around your activities. He could feel you tensing under his touch, but he still hoped it was temporary, that you were still trying to cope with all of this. But going back to patrols? That was something new, and he didn't like it very much.

"I don't know what you mean." you replied when he brought it up after returning home. "I've done it before. Morris said I could go back to my duties."

"And I'm sure you told him everything, right?" Joel sneered, resting his hand on the chair. "About how little you sleep. About how little you eat. Because I know you, and I know that you try to hide what's uncomfortable for you, what hurts you and..."

"Thank you for the psychoanalysis!" you hissed. "You do the exact same thing. You're out for hours, doing God knows what."

"Because you don't want to talk to me! I'm trying to get closer to you, but you've put up barricades." he rubbed his hand over his face, trying to gather his thoughts. “Listen, I won’t stop you. But I want you to know that I don’t think it’s a good idea. I love you, I care about you. If there was some way I could…”

“I’m going on patrol with Shane tomorrow.” You interrupted. “Thank you for your concern, but this is what I want.”

He nodded. There was nothing more he could do.

Was it unwise of you? Maybe. But you wanted to believe that going outside the walls of Jackson would make you feel different. You needed it. The space, the forest, the horizon in front of you. The four walls of the house, Jackson - it was driving you crazy. 

Your thoughts kept circling in similar areas. Joel's touch, once so tender, now irritated you. His watchful gaze was glued to you, but you knew perfectly well that he was looking for an opportunity to break free, to leave the house, to be alone.

You didn't blame him. You guessed that he felt hurt too, maybe even disappointed. He had given you such support at first, but after the loss you weren't sure if he still wanted it. Yes, he had talked about it, but you had a feeling that he was forcing himself to do all this.

Shane stopped and looked around carefully. This was your another joint patrol since you came back and you found yourself in a new region. His behavior tore you away from your thoughts for a moment.

"Is something wrong?" you asked, looking where he was.

"I'm not sure." he mumbled. "Maybe it's a rabbit or some other animal." he glanced at you over his shoulder. "You good?"

"Yeah, we can move on." you replied and you slowly moved forward.

Shane didn't bring up any sensitive topics. He respected your silence, and when you asked a question, he answered, happy that he could occupy your thoughts with something else. You found a rocky ledge that seemed perfect for camping and resting.

"Ann packed something for you." Shane smiled, handing you a small bundle. "I swear, she probably wants to fatten you up."

"I don't mind. I love her baked goods." you replied, sniffing a piece of apple pie with cinnamon.

You ate in silence, listening to the sounds of the forest, inhaling the fresh and clean scent. You offered to wash the dishes in the stream below and slowly went down. The water was pleasantly cool, washing over the mossy stones and washing the remains of food from the plates and cups.

You remembered the river where you first saw Ellie. It was much bigger. But then you met Joel too, your paths connected. Now you were by the river again, and you hadn't been this far from each other for a long time.

"Hey! Hey!" Shane's call tore you from your thoughts, "Watch out, on the right!"

Something was moving quickly in the ferns, panting and hissing. You stood up abruptly and put your hand on the butt of the gun at your side. You stared in that direction. Shane was calling something, but you barely heard him. 

An infected one crawled out of the undergrowth. It looked awful, like it had been here for a long time and nature was slowly trying to take it over. It crawled toward you, sensing its prey, and you...

You couldn't move. You felt the gun under your hand, you knew what you should do, but you just stared at him as if hypnotized. Teeth that could easily bite your throat, tear you apart, kill you and free you from everything that...

A loud gunshot made you jump. Shane was next to you and fired a second shot to make sure. He looked at you with fear and anger.

"That's what I was afraid of!" he growled, "I felt you would do something like that... Jesus!"

"I could handle it." You replied, but he shook his head. He took a few steps trying to gather his thoughts, and then looked at you.

"You and Joel are my friends, we've been through a lot together, but... I can't stand to watch what you're doing to each other," he said, his eyes genuinely concerned. "Listen, I know you're hurting. You've had a lot of bad things happen to you in your life, you didn't deserve them. I also know you're strong, tough, good. And Joel's heart is in the right place, you know. He loves you. He'd give his life for you if you asked him to. And you'd do the same..." he took a few steps towards you and noticed the tears welling up in your eyes. "I won't tell him what happened here. But you need to talk to him. You need to find a way back to each other. Don't let this fucking world take the best of you away."

You saw him on the porch with his guitar, quietly strumming the strings. The setting sun was falling on his face, making his skin seem almost golden. Damn, you had always thought he was handsome, but in that moment you realized it again. A heavy stone fell into your stomach as you thought of the hell you had created for yourselves.

He lifted his head at the sound of your quiet footsteps.

"Joel..." you began quietly.

He put the guitar down and stood up. "I want to show you something," he said. You nodded.

You let him grab your hand and lead you to the back of the house, then a little further to the trees growing on the outskirts. The trees cast long shadows and the sounds of Jackson slowly faded away. You didn't see where Joel was leading you, it was only when you stopped that you noticed.

Under the spreading oak tree you saw a white stone, it was smooth and surrounded by smaller stones like the ones you saw in the stream. Your eyes found some grooves on the surface. Letters or numbers. You let go of Joel's hand and walked closer. The numbers formed a date, and just above it you saw a small carved cross.

You understood.

“When Sarah left, it was like I died while I was alive.” Joel’s voice was quiet and calm, reaching you over the rustling of leaves and the chirping of birds. “I don’t remember much of that time. A black hole. I don’t want you to end up there too, baby, and I can see you’re headed straight for its embrace… I thought if you had a place you could come to when the days were really hard, it might help.”

You turned and looked at Joel, the man you loved, who had done more for you than anyone else. Your eyes stung from the tears that were pressing under your eyelids, you were still surprised that you were still able to cry.

"Did you do it yourself?" you asked. He nodded.

"I thought it might be easier for you... I wish I could take this pain away from you, but I know I can't. But you're not alone... We're in this together, remember?"

He didn't think your little nod would give him such relief. He felt like he could go to you, take you in his arms, hug you and try to soothe this pain. And Joel did it. You hid in his arms, in the mix of sobs he heard your pleas for forgiveness, promises that this time it would be different, that you would be together again.

"I love you so much, baby." he whispered, touching your lips with his, pressing his forehead to yours.

"I love you too."

☆☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

taglist, i think: @picketniffler @orcasoul @bbyanarchist @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @somedayheaven @underneath-the-sky-again @callmebyyournick-name

[soaps-mohawk]

I'm going to be honest

I'm having a genuinely hard time making this post. I've been fighting with it for a couple weeks now, but I think it's time I finally make it.

I'm not having fun on this blog anymore.

It sounds bad, but honestly, it kind of is.

I think a lot of it started from the very beginning with the precedence and expectations I put on myself. I've always tried to respond to every comment I get. Even from the beginning. It's just a polite thing to do since those who leave comments took the time to write out what they think of my fic, even if it's just a keysmash. I've always felt the need to thank those who leave comments or reblog my writing or (now that tumblr has it) replied to my fics. It worked fine before because none of my fics were particularly popular. Even my most popular fic (at that time) didn't get as much attention as CRCB has. I've never had a "big blog" before, nor a fic as popular as CRCB has gotten.

It was fine at first, responding to everyone, engaging with everyone. I was riding that high of omg so many people are reading and enjoying my fic! I've never had anything quite like this before.

Now...it just feels more like a chore. I set this precedence on this blog that I respond to everyone and I know a lot of people have said that they're surprised I responded to them and to everyone, and now I'm getting why a lot of writers don't. I'm exhausted. I feel like I've just been robotically saying the same thing over and over trying to respond to people now. I used to love seeing asks in my inbox and reblogs and replies but now? All I feel is dread because I have to respond to all of those.

Turning anon off was a big help. It lessened the sheer volume of asks I was getting a day. And while I do feel bad for all of my anons who prefer to stay anons, with everything that happened (the multiple incidents) with anon that kind of started to suck the joy out of everything. That paired with the obsessive need to constantly have my inbox cleared and make sure everyone gets a response...I can understand now too why big blogs will have 200+ asks in their inbox. It's hard and it's exhausting and I'm burning out.

First it was the fic that was burning me out. Things have gone on far longer than I planned and I just wasn't prepared for this fic to go on and for a while there it was dragging. I'll admit that. If I could go back, I'd speed up a few things, but it's done, it's posted there's no going back. I kind of hoped I would have the mental capacity to upload more than once a week too, but I just couldn't. I still can't.

I've come to dread posting chapters because I know I'm going to have to reply and respond to everyone. The only thing keeping me posting is the fact that we're in the part of the story I've been excited about since the beginning and also because I keep leaving everyone on cliffhangers and I love torturing y'all with all of them.

So that being said, this is in no way to shame anyone for interacting with me, anyone leaving comments or replies or sending asks. Don't feel bad about doing it please. I appreciate all of you that have engaged with me and it really means so much to me. Honestly, earlier this year, if I didn't have this fic and everyone on this blog, I might not have made it to now. It's been a really rough year and it's still going to be into next year. It's just getting to the point where I need a break.

I've needed a break for a long time. I thought taking days off the blog would help, and it did for a couple of weeks, but now even on the days I'm supposed to be on the blog and engaging, I just find myself queueing stuff up and just being offline most of the day still.

I'm tired. That's the best reason I can give. I'm tired and burned out on life and I'm tired and burned out on this blog.

So...I think I need a break. I need to not keep responding to every single reply and reblog every chapter. I need to not force myself to answer every ask right away, no matter how much I want to. I feel bad, but I know everyone would rather have me here and enjoying the blog than forcing myself to interact to the point where I'm dreading it and just robotically repeating myself over and over with every reply and answer and comment.

I won't be pausing the fic, I won't be not uploading. I'll still be posting chapters, I just might not be interacting as much as I have been. It's just putting such a mental strain on me still, even with anon off, even with days off. And with things getting busier for me, it's going to be too much to try and deal with irl stuff and write and try to be super active on the blog. There's going to come a point where I have to sacrifice the writing or the blog and I'd rather sacrifice the blog to keep myself sane, and also to keep trying to finally get this fic done. I love this fic, don't get me wrong, but I'm just burning out.

I'm already burned out in a lot of ways.

I was planning kinktober this year but honestly I'm considering not doing it because I know interaction is going to be insane and it's going to be a lot to keep up on. Plus trying to write that many fics is hard and I'm not sure I have the ability to do it. I have a few done but now I'm just like...is that something I want to do on top of irl stuff and CRCB.

There's just no joy in it anymore. It's not anyone's fault but mine. I put the pressure on myself, I held myself to that standard for this long despite the fact I knew it was draining me. I've tried to push through when I should have prioritized myself. I feel so guilty not responding to everyone. I feel so guilty being a day or two late responding to everyone.

I want to be here and interacting and responding to things but I just can't bring myself to anymore. It's no one's fault, and this is not a drag on anyone, or an attempt to make anyone feel bad or guilty for interacting or sending asks or anything. I'm just airing out the truth and saying what I need to say because I feel like I've been so robotic and lifeless with my responses these last couple weeks and I feel like I need to explain why. It's nothing anyone has done. It's my fault. It's 100% my fault.

Things have just gotten to be too much and it's my fault for forcing myself to be so active. The social battery has dropped into the negatives. I'm not a social person. I can only handle so much interaction and I've pushed so far beyond that, that things have gotten to this point. I want to be here and I want to have fun and I want to use this as an escape but I just don't feel that way about it anymore. It's a chore for me, a job, something I feel like I have to do and it's my fault that I feel that way. It's my own standards and expectations I set on myself, and my expectations on what I think my followers want and deserve and now I feel like I've gone on too long like this that I can't change things without hurting anyone's feelings. I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them in favor of others because I know there's writers out there that do that. They only respond to a certain group and ignore others that comment and reblog. I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm doing that to them and that's now led me to here.

I'm forcing it and I'm tired.

It's been hard these last few weeks. The life has just been draining and draining continuously. The joy and the love I have for this blog and my followers and the interactions and the fic. The last anon bullshit that happened was just kind of the last nail in the coffin so to speak. The straw that broke the camel's back. Things stopped being fun. It made me feel bad (and not in the guilty way, though that was a part of it) and I'm honestly just over it. I'm over the blog, I'm over interacting, I'm over life at this point. August is a hard month for me and every year it seems to get worse and worse. A lot of it is unrelated to anything online and I was going to make a post about it but honestly I just don't want to. Those that know, know. Those that don't...it doesn't matter.

I'm getting annoyed by the blog, I'm getting annoyed every time I look in my notifications and see an ask or a reply or a comment. I'm getting annoyed by some of my followers and that's not fair to you. Everyone always talks about how nice and kind and patient I am when I'm really not. I'm not the person I present myself to be on this blog, the way I mask myself so I can present myself as being a normal, kind human being. The mask is coming off because I'm so tired I can't keep it up anymore. It's happening here and it's happening in real life. I'm tired and I'm frustrated and I'm angry at a lot of things and the last thing I want is to start taking it out on my followers. You don't deserve that, especially when it's not your fault, it's nothing any of you have done. It's all me.

It's not you, it's me.

So for the sake of not burning this whole thing to the ground, I'm going to take a break. I'm not replying to everyone, I'm not responding to every reblog, I won't reply to every ask I get right away, if at all because sometimes I just don't have anything to say in response and I need to learn that's okay. It's nothing against you. It's not aimed at anyone specifically, I'm just trying to put myself first and stop things from escalating. I need a break and I'm going to do something selfish and I'm going to take it.

Don't apologize because it's not your fault. Don't apologize because you think you might have contributed to this because you didn't. It is no one's fault but my own.

I'm the one that needs to apologize to all of you because I've just not been myself because I've been forcing myself to be someone I'm not. I've been very unfair to a lot of people over the last seven months that this blog has been active and I've held a precedent that is not sustainable in the long run and made everyone believe that I was capable of maintaining that kind of interaction when I'm not.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been putting everyone through this. I'm sorry I've been so detached and robotic and ingenuine. I'm sorry I led everyone to believe I'm someone I'm not. I'm sorry I've dragged this on this long that it's gotten to the point that I have to make this post.

I considered just disappearing but that wouldn't be fair to you either. I don't want to put you through that, so I'm pouring all of my thoughts out and making you read through this fucking novel of a post. If you've made it this far, then congrats I guess. Gold metals to you who bothered reading this far.

Anyway, all of that aside, I'll still be posting chapters. I'll have them scheduled and I'll probably come on and add links places to keep things current. I'll respond and reply and answer asks when I feel like it. You don't have to stop sending them, but just don't expect them to be responded to right away anymore. I'll probably still be here reblogging things I want and doing things when I feel like it.

I just need a few weeks to myself. Time I don't have to care about the blog at all and keeping up with it. Anon will remain off for the sake of keeping asshole trolls away, and also so I don't open tumblr and have 200 asks in my inbox after a week. Sorry to my anons but it's just the way it needs to be right now. Maybe once this break is over and I've dealt with irl stuff, I'll consider putting it back on. I just can't after everything I dealt with recently on anon.

It'll be the same on Ao3, for those that follow here and read there. Comments will probably sit for a while. They won't be answered right away anymore unless I get the energy to burn through them. Even then I won't try to answer them all at once like I did this last weekend.

I'll try to reblog something every day so y'all know I'm alright. I don't want y'all to panic and it's not fair to put you through that, especially those that might not see this or bother reading it. Those that follow simply for the fic and nothing else. I'm here, I'm just not...here.

This week's chapter is in the queue to be posted tomorrow as usual. Chapters will still come out as planned since I'm not stopping writing, just taking a break from the blog itself.

Thank you those of you who stuck through to the end here. I appreciate all of you so much. You have no idea. I'm sorry I let things get to this point and I'm sorry to anyone that I've gotten rude or snappy with because I couldn't be selfish and put myself first. I'm sorry to anyone that got a robotic, repeated response to something they were probably excited to share. I'm sorry I've been so unfair to everyone and I hope you can forgive me.

Take care and I'll talk to everyone when I have the energy to.

[rigordoll]

Sweetheart.

contains: college!AU, RE2Leon x Fem!reader, friends to lovers, kissing, suggestive at the end. This will have eventual smut in a future pt2!

Pt2 here!

I'm not an expert writing, English isn't my first language but interactions, reblogs and comments are appreciated!! enjoy :3

When you started college you were scared as fuck to be honest. All your teacher's from high school and even your parents told you that college was hell and it was a completely different environment for you, that you must be very careful and not go trusting in every person in your way.

They weren't wrong about it but to be honest college wasn't so bad as they pictured it. Yeah, there was some weird people that you wouldn't approach to them even if you got payed to do it but they didn't mess with you or something.

You would say that college was almost like high school if you weren't failing almost every subject in your first semester, that was definitely the hell part. However, you managed to improve in the second semester and it went 'easier' for you, at least you weren't failing anymore.

Well, actually...

You were failing mathematics.

Imagine your face when you saw the test and realized you didn't know a shit about algebra, you were most definitely cooked.

It was hard as fuck and no matter what, you wouldn't understand it. Thank God you had Leon, he was the first person that approached to you in college and since then you sticked to his side.

He was such a sweetheart and helped you a lot, made the study sessions more bearable with his incredible bad jokes and actually explained to you what you didn't understand in the class.

Even right now when he was seeing your test and explaining you why your answer were wrong so it wouldn't happen again.

"Now, seriously, what the hell went through your mind to think that this was the correct answer?" Leon said without looking at you, he was focused reading your failed test and he genuinely looked offended at whatever you put on there.

"It's not that bad! give me that." you said with a huff, taking the piece of paper from his hands and put it into your bag without much care.

"Oh it is bad..." He said with amusement, if he dared to laugh at you, you would punch him in the middle of his perfect face. "But hey, seriously... you need to get a better grade in the next test." Leon said softly. "You can come over to my room and I'll explain you the basics." He offered.

Leon always offered to help you with your studies and he actually did explain well. It's just that you sometimes didn't pay attention to him.

I mean, you did payed attention to him, just not to what he was saying...

In your defense, being alone with Leon in his room was an appealing idea... Just not to study. You wouldn't lie, you may have a little crush for him since the beginning but you always pushed those feelings aside because he only saw you as a friend.

"You mean, later today...?" you asked, raising a brown with curiosity which caused him to roll his eyes. "no, later next year. Of course later today, silly." Leon said with amusement and you huffed at him. "But it's friday..." you already had plans, going to a party, drink, dancing and maybe hook up with a guy and pretend that it was Leon. Last part is clearly a joke, don't do that! but anyway, college life is good.

"I don't care, see you at 6pm." He said playfully before leaving.

Fuck him, but you did wish that it was in the literal sense.

You were standing in front of his door and it was actually 7pm, ops.

but in your defense, you were busy getting ready to the party since you were lazy as fuck to to go to Leon's room then go back to your room, change your clothes, doing your make up and then go to the party, it would take her ages.

Before you could even knock the door, Leon had already opened it and it took him a moment to scold you for your tardiness since his cold blue eyes were roaming your figure and taking in your clothes option, now that was short skirt but the top was pretty, it was his favorite on you even if he never told you.

Leon cleared his throat before looking at you with a serious expression playing on his face. "first of all, you're one hour late. Second of all, why are you dressed like that?" He asked with curiosity, stepping aside to let you in before closing the door behind you.

"There is a party tonight at 9pm..." you said softly with a shrug before sitting on the edge of his bed and looking at him.

"I see, I hope that you don't drunk call me at 3am." He said playfully while sitting on the desk chair that was beside the bed. Anyway, he knew that if you called him he would pick you up without thinking twice but that isn't the matter here..

"I don't promise you anything.." you said with a chuckle while looking at him, he was dressed in grey sweatpants and a blue random shirt but damn, his biceps were on display. Focus, hoe!

Leon smirked at your answer and shook his head with amusement before searching for his notes. "Let's just get started with this so you can go to your party." He said softly.

An hour passed by with him explaining you the basics and teaching you how to do some exercises.

Honestly, you were having a bit of trouble focusing when he looked so fine and smelled so fine, you always wondered was cologne he uses because it smells heavenly. You also noticed him stealing some glances at you, more than usual.

Maybe it was because he was staring at your thighs and at how soft your skin looked... or maybe he was staring and your chest everytime you leaned closer to him to see what he was writing. he was most definitely having the time of his life when he caught you staring at him with pretty eyes while biting your pen before snapping back to reality and noticing how dumb you probably looked. He wouldn't call it dumb tho, more like hot but hey, he never said this.

"I think I got it, look." You said softly, passing him your notebook where you have just finished a exercise. Leon took notebook from you, his fingers grazing yours but seemingly completely oblivious of it.

He took a moment to check if it was good and you waited there patiently, when you heard a soft hum from him, you leaned closer. your head next to his and you rested your chin on his shoulder. "is it good?" you asked quietly.

Leon turned his head to look at you and now his face was mere inches away from yours. His eyes went directly to your lips and it took all his willpower to not kiss you right there since you were looking absolutely gorgeous there staring at him with doe eyes and glossy lips slightly agape.

Leon licked his lips and quickly looked back to your notebook. "Yeah, it's good." He said softly before looking back at you, you were smiling and looking at your book in his hands.

Leon didn't know why but his heart was beating against his chest, his hands felt sweaty and suddenly the room felt a lot warmer now, is the AC working or what the hell?

The tension was in the air and you when you met his gaze, you noticed his rosy cheeks and dilated pupils while he stared at every detail of your face. Suddenly, you remembered why you liked him. It's those cold blue eyes that look into you with intensity and adoration without failing.

You both just stared quietly in each other's eyes, none of you said anything or did anything even if your bodies were betraying both of you and itching for being closer to each others warmth.

It was such a comfortable silence, a silence that spoke volumes.

So it didn't surprise you when you hear the words. "I really want to kiss you." coming from Leon's mouth in a quiet tone as it was secret that he was telling you.

You just took a heavy breath while looking at his pink lips before nodding at him. that was enough for him to understand, he always understood your silence even if that happened rarely.

To be honest, you felt so cozy and warm when his lips touched yours. you swear that you felt butterflies in your tummy when he started to kiss you slowly, taking his time with you and his hand going to cradle your face.

It felt so right, Leon wonders why he didn't do this before. Why didn't he kiss you in every chance given?

It didn't took long before you were beneath him on his bed, kissing each other and exploring each other's body through the layers of clothes.

It seems like you weren't going to that party anymore... Leon's much better that any guy that you could found there anyway.

HEYYYYYYYYYY, I'll leave this here.

I'll probably make pt2 later that will included an attempt of smut since I still figuring out all this write thing, but anyway, enjoy!

(I'm taking requests BTW)

[cuntyhunty22]

Good men die too, oh I'd rather be with you.

Paring: joel x reader

Description: Joel is a regular at your bar, you rely on him for comfort and advice, feelings are there but the line was never crossed (until one night) he saves you from you toxic abusive boyfriend

Outbreak isn't a thing.

Tags: smut. Dirty talk. Daddy kink. Daddy issues. Sexual tension. Domestic violence. Mature language. Cream pie. Gun mentioned.

This is my first story in a long time. It's gonna be broken up into parts because it's longer than I anticipated. Bare with me 🫶🏼

It was a hot Monday afternoon at Bucks Bar and Grill. It's just a little hole-in-the-wall bar in this small southern town. Everyone who comes here knows each other. You have worked here since you were 18; you are 29 now, so it's kinda like family. They all have watched you grow up, been there for you through all your trials and tribulations... your issues with your absent father, your alcoholic mother, and now your very toxic narcissist of a boyfriend.

It's about 4:30 when people start coming in as the day whines down, mainly people who've been up at it all day come in around this time..and you look around in hopes one of your favorites shows up… Joel Miller.

He's a great guy and someone you have always looked for advice from. I guess he was the closest to a father figure in your life. From just coming to talk to at the bar or inviting you to cookouts at Tommy and Maria's. Which you have always been too chicken to show up to because your boyfriend would go fuckin mental if you did. And just like clockwork, he walks through the door. Tight teeshirt, worn-in blue jeans, and some work boots. His salt-and-pepper hair more curly than usual. You aren't gonna dismiss the fact that he's a very handsome man; you've always thought that. But I suppose it's been something you've never really thought in your brain, with him being over 20 years older than you and the fact you’re still in this shitty relationship you can't seem to escape no matter how hard you try, how many times he's cheated, how many times he's put his hands on you. You stay. It's probably the abandonment issues, to be honest.

Hey, darlin’, how are you doing today? Joel says to you as he sits in his usual corner spot on the bar. You just look at him, and it's like he can read your face. "I'm okay, just getting through the day." You crack a smile trying to defuse the conversation. You knew that would eventually start because today you didn't wanna think about your issues. You just wanted to work, make money, and talk to your customers.

"Want your typical order?" Yeah darlin you already knew. You laugh "well Mr miller I seem to know what you like" you seen him smirk and his eyes get dark. Shit you thought.. did I just flirt with him. (Yes you did.) you set his whiskey down, along with a beer. As you do that he notices a light bruise on your cheek bone you attempted to cover with makeup. Darlin.. I don't mean to be rude but what the fuck is on your face.. he reaches up to gently brush your face ..did he- you cut him off. "It's nothing I'm just clumsy and I smacked my face off the sink getting out of the shower." Joel scoffs because he knew it was a lie clear as day. I've told you, you need to leave. You need to take care of yourself because if something happens to you.. he trails off his sentence like he just let more off than he's just a regular at your bar. " Joel I'm fine" you replied. "I have to go out to the shed and change a keg.. I'll be back if you need me."

You go back behind the bar to grab a new beer keg because one blew just before the rush came in and you finally have a moment to fix it. As you're walking outside you feel someone follow you.. here it is your shitty boyfriend paid you a visit. Hey I need $50 he says. " I gave you $100 this morning.. I don't have-" bitch I know you fucking do he yells.. you can tell he's been drinking more than he should have. As he raises his voice at you Joel appears just a few feet down eyeing the situation.

"I said I don't have it.. not until tomorrow.. why do you think I'm working open to close today." I don't know! Boyfriend screams. Probably because you get off on the attention these old men give you because you'd rather be here than be at home with me.. YOUR BOYFRIEND. "Well someone has to pay the bills instead of blowing money on drugs alcohol and who knows what the hell else." DONT YOU DARE TALK TO ME LIKE THAT YOU FUCKING WHORE. You are nothing. You work in a bar. In these tiny ass shorts taking money from people that only wanna fuck you.. your gonna be nothing just like your parents.. he grabs your arm hard already leaving hand prints.. you notice Joel has moved just a bit closer with a lit cigarette in hand.

" here take my card there is some money on it, just leave me the fuck alone and don't come back here tonight." You are fighting back tears because this just answered what Joel was asking not even 20 minutes ago. Your boyfriend take the card lets you go and starts walking away. Joel still watching, as boyfriend passes by him. Whores I tell ya, boyfriend tries to joke with Joel.. and Joel looks at him with an expression you've never seen on him.. you've heard he has a dark side but you've never witnessed it until now.. if looks could kill your boyfriend would be dead on the gravel.

You felt so embarrassed.. you knew people knew the situation but you've done pretty good at no one witnessing the shit you deal with. As soon as your boyfriend was out of eyesight you felt this heavy embrace around you as you stand there sobbing. Hey hey hey darlin it's fine.. I'm here we are gonna fix this.. your head is buried into his chest. His warm body on yours, the smell of cologne, whiskey, and cigarettes has taken over your mind.. all these emotions flooding you.. your shitty boyfriend.. how much you hate him.. and oddly enough arousal from being touched gently by a man.. which hasn't happened in god knows how long..

his hands linger on your shoulder as you look up at Joel he's already staring at you. "I need to go back inside..." no he responds take a minute.. you pull away from him and all of a sudden you feel even more empty then you did before.. you came to the realization that you are touch starved and that just ignited a fire in you.

"I have to Joel.. I have to make money because he's going to spend it all, I know he is" you start to tremble again and Joel grabs your face, listen to me... as of right now nothing like this is ever going to happen to you ever again ya hear me...im going to take care of you... "WHY JOEL" you scream at him. "Why because I'm so fucking damaged , because you see a girl with issues and you automatically wanna save- Joel cuts you off by his lips crashing into yours, at first your hesitant and you try to fight it but you couldn't deny that this just what you needed, you needed to feel something besides hate and dread.

You give into the kiss and it gets deeper hungrier, his hands still holding both sides of your face just pulling him closer and close as the kiss gets more passionate you let out a soft moan and that made Joel go crazy. He picks you you up, your lips never leaving one another as you wrap your legs around him and he backs you up against the building, the kisses still building as if that's even possible, Joel's lips eventually leave yours to trace kisses down your neck gently biting, making that soft moan not so soft. Shhh darlin, does this feel good.? "Yes.. uh fuck. Joel put me down." He looks at you confused.

I'm sorry I shouldn't have- "no you should have..

I just hate that it took this situation for it to.. that I'm just not in the best situation right now for this to happen.. that people will have opinions on the age difference "

Then leave him. And fuck em

•

You go back in to finish your shift.. and Joel doesn't leave.. he watched you all night but this time instead of glances of making sure you were okay.. it was glances of pure lust.. pure want.

It's about 2 am now, your kicking everyone out And closing things down. And it hits you that you now have to go home... and you're really unsure if you should.. the bar finally cleared out.. except your kitchen closer.. and one man.. Joel was still here.

"I should get going." You're going home.? He asks concern all over his face. "Joel I have too.. if I don't it's gonna be worse if I do..." don't.. darlin please don't.. we will deal with him.. "Joel there is no we.. sure we shared a moment.. but I'm in a relationship.. and this.. this shouldn't happen I'm the same age as your daughter practically, you know how that will look on me.. on you.. what he will do.."

it kills you saying this because honestly it's the last thing you want to do is hurt a man who has been nothing but kind and caring.. and hell maybe there is something there.. that's the thing you know there is and that scares the hell out of you.

"So yes I am going home." At least let me drive you he says.. "I can't.." give me your phone he demands.. "what why." My number, my address it's there, and take this.. he hands you a wad of money.. you don't even want to know how much is there.. "absolutely fucking not.. Joel.. I can't take your money." You can and you will..he replies.. text me when you get home and I swear if anything goes down if he so much even tries to touch you. You call me. I'm being serious now I ain't playin I mean it you call. "Okay."

Promise me darlin... "I promise."

•

When you make it home it's about 3:15 am.. and your boyfriend isn't home... or so you thought.

"Hey I'm home.. you here.?" You still have your bookbag on.. and you hid the money Joel gave you. "Hello.?" You call out again..

*thud* *thud * followed by moaning..

you scof "you've got to be fucking jokin." You walk upstairs to find your boyfriend fucking another girl. "HEY WHAT THE FUCK" the girl screams. "In our bed!!??? I mean I knew your were shitty but this shitty.!?" He tosses the girl out of the bed and charges toward you.. you fuckin bitch , do you know you ruin my life.. that I have to cheat on you to even get laid.. when's the last time you let me touch you huh.?

He's screaming right in your face backing you up against the railing of the stairs. You shove him.. which you knew was a bad idea because that shove was followed by a punch to the face and a shove that sent you falling down the stairs.. good fuck you you cunt I hope you get brain damage.. oh by the way she sucks better dick than you.. and skinner.

You lay there for a second.. thankfully the fall wasn't as bad as it could have been. You took a quick second to regain your head because you knew he'd be coming down those stairs.. and as soon as you got to your feet here he came..

I need that money.. he screamed.. what did you make tonight being that little whore you are.. huh..? He's standing in front of you now.. give me your book bag. He demands. "No." If you don't give it to me now you bitch I swear to god.. "you swear what huh..?? That you'll hit me.. that you will rape me.. again..?? What else could you do.?"

I'll fucking kill you. He smirks. At the moment you reach for the pocket knife you put in your boot. He chuckled... oh am I supposed to be scared..?? "Don't fucking touch me.. I'm done here okay.. done.. I'm leaving." Fine go.. but give me the money you said you would.. "I gave you $150 in cash.. and there was at least $400 on my card.. what more do you need.!? I'm not giving you anything else ever again..!"

At this moment he's backing you up against the wall his hands heading toward your throat.. and before he could reach them you slice his arm.. YOU CUNT..!! And you took off running to your car.

•

•

You put your car and drive and sped out.. blacked out from trauma and adrenaline not knowing exactly where you were going until you arrived..

The house is what you would think for a well established contractor. Gorgeous but still very homey nothing over the top. You know it's so late and he's probably fast asleep. You're still spiraling as you bang on the door as hard as you can.. because you were unsure if he decided to follow you or if there was a tracker on your car..

"JOEL.! JOEL.! Please answer.. fuckk" and the door swings open and pulls you inside like lightning. Once you're in, he's holding you as you sob. Sob harder than you probably ever have in your whole life.. baby.. hey.. breathe for me okay.. he looks at you.. you need to breathe. " he- you choke- unable to catch your breath about to have a full blown anxiety attack. The knife still in your pocket but it's now stained your shorts with blood..

Joel looks down and then looks back up at you.. is that your blood..? His jaw clenches and his eyes black as the night. " his blood" you managed to say.. he relaxes a bit.. did he follow you..? "I don't think so.. I don't know.. there might be a tracker on my car but I'm unsure.." okay.. I'll go look. Give you a minute to calm down. Let me grab you something to change into... do you want a beer.? "Okay.. and yes.. but Joel..?" Yes darlin.? "Please don't leave me alone for long. I won't.. and thank you for keeping your promise. That made you crack a slight smile. He brings you out a big flannel to put on and a pair of sweats..

you changed collecting yourself in the bathroom. You ended up just wearing the flannel and underwear because it was over sized on you. You walk out into the living room Joel sitting on the couch two beers waiting. "I know you gave me pants but I hate pants and I just want to be comfortable so if it's inappropriate I'll put them on." He chuckles. Babygirl you are worried about not wearing pants.. of all things... you laugh "yeah that's kinda stupid to be the thing I'm worried about isn't it." Are we calmed down..comfortable.. anything else I can get you.? " I'm alright."

Okay.. walk me through what happened.. you explained everything to him.. tonight.. the past 2 years.. all of it. You can stay in the guest room until you figure things out.. I'm not letting anyone hurt you ever again okay... you are safe. "But what about your daughter.. will she be okay with me here, I don't wanna overstep..I'll drive to my parents.. it's better there than being with him."

No.

You are staying here. "Joel I just left someplace that dictated what I did please don't tell me what the hell I should do and where I should stay." He looked hurt. I didn't mean it that way darlin I'm sorry. I just know if you are here you are safe. Sarah will be fine. She comes and goes because she's at college. Not only that maybe you could be friends. You laugh. "Yeah okay be friends with the man's daughter who saved me.. and oh I had a hot make out session with him in the same night that I sliced my boyfriends arm - ex Boyfriend Joel pipes in.. "sounds like a great plan" Joel chuckels. Okay I didn't say it was perfect or ideal or hell not odd but you would be safe and frankly that's all I give a damn about.

•

It's about dawn now and you haven't slept at all.. darlin do you wanna try to sleep Joel asks. "Honestly I don't think I can.." come here.. Joel stretches out on the couch patting up to his chest.. you crawl up to him laying your head right down as he wraps his arms around you. Covering you with the safest you've felt. Do you think you could sleep now.? "No.. but I like this.." you let out a deep breath finally fully relaxing besides the butterflies you feel from being this close to Joel. As you exhale warm lips touch your forehead in a sweet kiss. Hmm..I'm sorry- Joel huffs..

" don't be.. " you lift up pushing your lips onto his and hunger hits.. the kiss was so eager so passionate. Your tongues caress one another begging for more pulling the kiss deeper and deeper as he bites your bottom lip.. you feel heat between your thighs building. " Joel fuck..-mhmm.." his lips leave yours finding your neck.. he goes straight to the spot that made you moan earlier.. as he does this your hands in his hair which is something you fantasized about. You did a slight tug and he himself let out a moan. God baby is this okay..he strares at you as his hands trace down under the flannel to your ass. Grabbing it.. literally worshiping it.. you moan again... I think that's my answer he chuckled.

He continues kissing that sweet spot on your neck and you just feel yourself flooding. Your hands roam around his body as you feel the bulge in his pants.. you carefully squeeze and Joel lets out this animal like moan. He grabs your hands being careful not to be too rough with everything you've been through.. baby don't worry about me let me take care of you..

he shifts you around legs on the floor and he gets between them. Kissing up your legs on your tattoos.. ya know.. I have always found these so sexy.. kissing continues upward. "Mhmmm is that -ahh fuck mhmm.." your sentence is interrupted the touch of his fingers grazing your heat through your panties.. can I take these off..?? He asks. And as much as this is heated he is so gentle with you.. which in this moment is what you needed. " yes" you whimper. He slides your panties off the sides your leg open wide for him to dive his tongue right into your wetness.

Mhmm- your- so- he manages to say between licks- so wet- so soft. You arch back pulling him more into you, grinding yourself on his tongue as he licks and sucks. " ahh I'm ahh fuck I'm-" he then slides 3 fingers in he doesn't even bother building it up because he knew you needed it. Fingers curling right where you need them, in and out of you at just the right pace. You couldn't hold it in anymore you've tried to contain it. The room is filled with your moans of ecstasy.. it all building up.. Joel still working on you, fingers in and it as he sucks gently on your bud.. you reach down and pull his face to you, your wetness on his beard but you didn't care, lips crashing together full of need as Joel still working woks his fingers on you..

"Joel - I " I know baby.. mhmm go'head I got you. Cum for me. Let go. And you did you let go. "Fuck oh my god.. Joel's lips back on yours as you catch your breath and the ecstasy of your orgasam washes away. Feel good? He asks.. "considering there is a puddle on the ground what do you think." Mhmm made a mess for me huh baby.. you blush as that hasn't happened in years. " yes." Let's wash up and try to sleep huh. Joel says. "Okay" you follow him to the bathroom then to his bedroom to sleep.

•

You wake the few hours in Joel's bed. Staring at the ceiling you're not sure how to feel. From pretty much stabbing your ex.. to having Joel give you the best oral you've ever experienced to now laying here naked in his bed. You roll over to find his spot Empty but a note was left.

*darlin I'm sorry to have you wake up alone, had to go check on a project, please text me when you wake.. I'll be day dreaming about drowning in that sweet wetness.*

-Joel

You can't help but to smile.. you check your phone to see you have 59 calls from an unknown number and texts.. which you assume are your ex.. you block and delete all of them.. knowing your going to have to change your phone number.. now you text Joel..

* as lovely as it was to ride your face and fingers I think there is some thing else I want to ride today.. (attached image ) you naked in his bed.

-incoming FaceTime : Joel miller

"Hi"

Hi darlin

"Old man I'm surprised you knew how to FaceTime"

Old.. he chuckles.. this old man knows how to do lots of things..

"I'm well aware"

You work today correct..? I'll be there when I'm finished.. this next part might freak you out but just listen to me.. there is a gun in the nightstand.. I want you to take it with you okay. No arguing just do it.

"Okay.. Joel... I woke up to a bunch of calls and messages im scared."

I know baby take the gun okay.. just precaution.. I'll see you later.. and we can talk about what else you're riding.. oh btw Tommy said hi.

"Jesus Christ Joel you told Tommy.!? Fine whatever hi Tommy. Okay see you later.

*facetime ends

•

You get dressed in clothes you had in your car.. little black skirt.. tank top and Joel's flannel. You pull your hair up into a clip.. doing your makeup the best you can to hide the new bruises.. grab the gun and head out the door.

It's about 4 when you get to work.. and if the timing is right Joel will be here in 45 mins.. when you get there the older lady who you work with pulls you into the kitchen. Sweetie pie you alright..? Your old man was in here looking for ya.. real distressed...said something about you owe him money.. you give in and you tell her everything.. what happened where you've been ..

she's the closest to a mother and if you want to be safe you need the truth out there.

Oh honey I'm so sorry she says.. "it's okay.. it's just time to move on and end this." Sooo Joel miller huh.. she chuckles I mean I can't blame ya he's a gorgeous man and an even better human.. he's been through it too ya know.. she looks at you. " I can tell but I don't ask.. I'm just thankful he exists.. but I'm worried people will judge.." do you think he could make you happy? She asks..

"honestly right now there is not many things I'm sure of.. but he is the one thing I am."

•

Joel walks in.. beautiful as ever. You don't know if it's the left over feelings from making a mess In his living room or if he has always been this attractive.. he hasn't even touched you and you feel a heat between your legs.. but today it's ruthless.. it wild.. it's wanting him in every way possible.

He smiles when he notices that green flannel tied around your waist. You grab his order not even having to ask him and take it over to him.. " Mr miller.. whiskey neat and a beer." You always give me what I want huh darlin. "Is there anything thing else you want Mr miller.." you lean across getting close to him faces inches apart. Actually there is.. but I'm not sure it's appropriate to bend you over in a full bar.. don't want them to hear those sweet little moans..your mouth drops. "

"Is that something you've thought about before..??" If we are being honest here, I've been enchanted by you since you started working here. Your tan skin, your green eyes.. those lips. Your face is now a million shades of red. " I need to work I'll be back..." you take off the flannel revealing the cheeky little skirt you have on that hugs all your curves.. you glance back and Joel looks like he just had to adjust himself.

•

Finally 2 am rolls around.. the bar clears out and it's time to get ready to head home... well Joel's home. Kitchen lady left so now it's just Joel and you left in this bar..

" so Mr miller.. bar is empty.." he cocks his head looking at you.. he sweeps you off your feel planting you on the bar.. mhmm I've thought about you All day he whispers in your ear as he kisses across your jaw working his way down to your neck right to that spot. "Hmmmm yeah what about..." you guide his hands between your thighs to you lacy panties you have on. He doesn't even bother teasing he just reaches right in making your body arch. " daddy please" you smirk because you knew that would unlock something. Circling your bud with the right amount of pressure to get you right where he wants you.. Slid a finger in just because.. and what do you want from daddy.. still sliding that one finger in and out just to keep you on edge..

"I want... ahhh mhmm fuck.. " focus look at me, he cups your face eyes locked in. What do you want.. tell me.. " as much as I want to ride you.. I want you to fuck me.. " how he ask.. still teasing toying with you. " on this bar Joel.. fuck me on this bar.. so when you come in here the only thing you think of is me screaming your name as I cum all over your big cock." He's taken back a but he just looks at you and smiles.

He slides your panties off and pushes your skirt up.. you undo his belt unzipping his tight jeans where you can fully see how hard you have him. You reach in and pull it out, and god is he big, long and girthy you just knew he was going to fill you up. He takes his cock and rubs it against your entrance pre cum on the tip mixing with your wetness. Look at me.. you look up and he pushes his cock into you.. " fuckin Christ.. you fill me up so good.." Joel's thrust starts easy and gentle just getting used to each other building it up. And after each thrust it intensifies as he puts your legs on his shoulders thrusting Even deeper into you.. you gonna cum for daddy he says thurts getting harder and faster like he just can't get enough of you he just needs more and more and more. " yes" you whimper "but only if you cum in me.. I wanna feel you explode inside of me.." that's all it took to send Joel over the limit. Hard thrusts as he reaches up to rub your clit.. "my god- I - I " yes darlin come on I'm right with you.. "ahhh fuckkkkk" you feel it come over you as he fills you up. And you cum together. Joel lays there for a second trying to comprehend that just really happened.. "did we just fucking cum at the same time..?" He chuckles yes we did. He's still inside you. AS he pulls out you feel the hot seed drip out of you. Hell of a day to wear a skirt-

Crash

Window bust.

Grab the gun.

•

You fucking whore.!!! You hear your ex scream. He's standing outside the big window looking in. Joel zips his pants as he plops you off the bar. Gun.. you have the gun..? He looks over to see it already pointed in your exs direction. "Go home.! I told you I'm done leave me alone.!"

No bitch.. come outside and I'll finish what i started yesterday.. you and your geezer, cant believe you'd fuck someone old enough to be your father.. but that makes sense right.. because you never had a daddy.. so you have to fuck the first one who even gives you the closure you need huh.. can he even fuck you.? Actually I just did Joel replied smugly.

"Joel call the cops" you hand him your phone.. not taking your eyes off your ex gun still pointed at him.. oh so you couldn't finish it with your knife.. so sugar daddy gave you a gun..?? your ex chuckles all cocky. He's the one that gives you money.? Huh.? The one that brings you food.? You remain silent ready to pull the trigger.. darlin we have to go outside.. the alarms are going off and the police are here.. "we can go outside through the back.. he will probably meet us there but maybe by then the cops will be here.." Joel leads the way holding your hand that doesn't have the gun in.. if I open this door and he's here I'm beating the hell out of him you hear me.. I don't want that to scare you.. or make you look at me differently.. because once I start I don't think I can stop. he stares at you worried. "Do what you have too." He opens the door and you ex lunges at you. Knocking you to the ground.. gun flying.. he punches you blood everywhere.. But Joel towers over him and pulls him off of you .. Joel lands a few good punches and he doesn't stop.. he keeps hitting him over and over and over.. a truck pulls up.. followed by cop cars.. lady who lives next door comes running over. Oh honey.!!! She says.. pulling you away as Joel is still punching your ex.. Tommy comes running pulling Joel off.. cops swarm around us.. pulling you and Joel separate ways.. "JOEL" you scream. "JOEL." "I need Joel don't fucking touch me.. "

you hyperventilate and pass out.

Part 2 coming soon.

Music gives me most of my ideas or I listen to something and it amplifies it

[bouquetface]

PAC: Next Serious Relationship

I will be detailed asf. This reading won’t be for everyone. Only take as entertainment.

One.

Your next partner:

Curly dark hair, tanned skinned (this person could be mixed or appear racially ambiguous). Age 28-30. Either from somewhere sunny or currently resides somewhere sunny. Nonchalant. Aqua & Scorpio placements.

General reading. Not every reading you come across will resonate. I will not try to appeal to everyone. Just giving honest reads.

Your relationship story:

This won't be love at first sight. This person has a bad reputation. They aren't a cheater but they have spent their twenties messing around. Before you meet, they'll be sick of this bachelor lifestyle. They have many options but they don't trust any of them. They can't imagine a future with them. They fantasize about you a lot before meeting. Their ideal partner, the future you'll have together. They would never admit this to anyone around them but they feel lonely. They miss you before having met you. All this yearning makes me think you have past lives together.

When you meet, it'll likely be through mutual friends. You could be invited to some kind of networking event. Or possibly it's just a party. Very busy place. So many talking you almost can’t hear the people you're talking with. The group you come with will get along with their group. You’ll see each other and their friend group again at future events.

I'll be honest their intentions at the start aren't the best. They'll be the one to add you on social media. They think you're hot and want to add you to their roster. You'll find them attractive but only want to keep them as friend due to their reputation. You could intuitively know or be warned by a friend. You likely will only hang out in a group the first few times. They'll be bummed out, they haven't been friendzoned ever. It'll actually make them suspicious that you like someone else in your mutual social circle.

This is a slow burn relationship. Trust has to be built before you even seriously consider them as a partner. You don't take any shit. You want to be the one, not an option. They are really forced to work for your time. Like when they ask to hang, you aren’t responding yes immediately. If it’s late at night, you’ll say no, I have work in the morning. Or simply no, it’s late. You aren’t stupid, you know there’s no pure reason for someone to be hitting you up at night like this. Slowly but surely, they’ll realize you are the one they’ve been daydreaming about. This will make them get their act together. They will be proving themselves to you. They see you’re an honest, hardworking person. You could be very busy with college or work. They’ll have a lot of respect for this. Accommodating for your schedule, remembering little things you say about coworkers or professors. You’ll have a lot of inside jokes.

There is an element of surprise here. It’s hard to say what it is when it’s a surprise. They may surprise you by bringing you your favorite drink a few times. They may go research something you’re interested in which could surprise you. This surprise might be what makes you think they’re the one. They may hate that you made them wait so long, but trust me, this person needed that humbling. And it’ll be so worth it. Once they get you, all they’re focused on is keeping you.

⚠️ Warning though!! ⚠️

When you two go official, it's going to upset someone. This is where this pile is divided into two groups. For some, it could be a guy friend you have - he thought he had a chance. His attitude will change towards you when you enter this relationship. You'll tell your person but they won't give a fuck. They’re a confident & secure person. They may even laugh at the idea of this guy thinking he had a chance with you. Your friend will be hurt but move on. I don’t even see the friendship ending in this scenario. Once they meet their own person, all past crushes are forgotten.

Now for the other half of you. It’s not as simple of a situation. For some of you, it is a woman. She's been lurking in your person's past. She isn't an ex. But she is someone who was talking to your person. I did warn you that your person had a past. She thought when he was ready to settle down, he'd choose her. She's likely been hanging around for a year, if not YEARS. Oh, this is a bit sad. I'm hearing Jack Harlow's Lil Secret lmao. "'you confident that we soulmates". She really thought she was the one.

Your person is going to cut off everyone he was talking to when you two get serious. She'll be furious. Then, she’ll be in denial. Likely stalking both your socials for months. She thinks you two won’t last. She is convinced that your person is going to come back for her. Embarrassing.

This won't affect the relationship at all though. You two are destined, you'll be protected from this woman. She’ll disappear after a few months. She is bitter. ngl it’s her fault for building up this idea in her head.

I asked for clarification on this woman. Your person did not promise this woman a relationship. They were honest to all their past hookups that they do NOT want a relationship. This woman is just delusional. But I don’t want to hate too much, a lot of people probably been in her situation before. And for most, she’s not batshit and will move on after a few weeks/months. However, some of you do need to be warned, this woman is a total bitch. Will start rumours/talk shit about you with her friends. She’ll get over it eventually. She has no choice lmao you and your person are a forever couple.

It’s honestly giving rockstar boyfriend. Not to imply that he is going to be a musician. This isn’t likely for most. But the fact he is desired by many and well connected in his city. Very passionate relationship. Major Scorpio vibes. ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Two.

Your Next Partner:

Sag & Cap placements. Religious. Clean & polished style. Tall, Nice smile, blue eyes. Funny, polite & charming. May wear or like watches. Smells nice.

General reading. Not every reading you come across will resonate. I will not try to appeal to everyone. Just giving honest reads.

Your relationship story:

The feminine will be approached in public. This person is polite and straight forward. They may compliment you and ask for your number. Some of you could meet in an academic environment. After the lecture, they could approach you. For other’s, it could be while you run your usual errands.

Although, they’re very charming and respectful, you could be a bit suspicious. Maybe it is because you tell your friends or family, and they warn you. They’ll think or say it’s not normal for a complete stranger to ask someone out anymore. They are coming from a place of concern. They’ll encourage you to set the date somewhere in a public setting and get their socials. This could stress you out a bit. It could feel too soon to put pressure on them by asking/requesting these things. However, they’ll handle it very well. Very understanding & mature. And once you get to know each other and meet each other’s friend groups & families, everyone is super supportive.

They are serious about you from the start. In a non-creep way, they may have been watching you for a while. They see you as a sweet and kind person. You could be very sensitive. They are a bit opposite. They do well under pressure. Their job could be one that requires them to do well under stress. Maybe law enforcement.

You could have something they believe you need protecting from. This could be a sour relationship you have or had. After a few weeks or months of dating, you may open about your past or family. Some of you had a bad relationship with your ex. It left you with low self esteem. For others, you have a family member that puts too much pressure on you. This could be a very controlling parent. This person will be very understanding, they may actually relate to having a tough parent. It’s not that they don’t love their parent though. This parent likely the father may be very tough on them. Your person could be the eldest. They likely grew up feeling responsible for a lot. Feeling like they need to be the perfect example for their younger siblings. & Feeling like they NEED to make their parent’s proud. This conversation will bring you two closer.

This relationship will feel like a blessing from God. If you aren’t religious, you may become open to the idea. Your person isn’t religious in an extreme orthodox way but faith is important to them. They may casually attend a church or temple. They definitely celebrate religious holidays. They will introduce you to their family very quickly. Maybe an event is coming up and they feel it’s the best opportunity to meet everyone. They don’t have a single doubt about you. To them you are their future spouse. They’re very confident about it. Their family will be very kind to you. They will feel you are a bit out of their league. You may be invited to an activity without your spouse. For example, if they have sisters, you could be to invited to a mother-daughter day out. Do your nails, go out for brunch, etc.

No relationship is perfect. But this is relationship is very close to perfect. You guys will likely do a lot of outdoor activities. Camping, beach day, road trip, etc. You create a lot of beautiful memories together. A lot of photos to show your kids.

Everyone will know you as the IT/Power couple. No one has any doubts that you’ll last forever. Friends of yours and theirs may come to you guys for relationship advice. They may tell you guys they wish they could have a relationship like yours. They aren’t jealous in an evil eye way though. They are truly supportive. Your friend’s are fed up with trying to find someone loyal and trustworthy. They’ll tell you dating is so difficult in this day and age. And these conversations will make you so grateful for having found your person. You guys will likely be the oldest relationship in your social circles. Not in age but as in you’ve been together the longest. So you may meet early on in your 20s. Soon, no one will be able to remember a time before you guys were together.

It’s giving Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds vibes. 💗💗

[umnitsa]

Dirty old man

Summary: Joel is on his seventies, but he still has needs.

A/N: Ok, so. One pic made the rounds in one of the discord servers I frequent and it made me wild, I won't lie (it was a pic/meme with aged Pedro Pascal). Highly inspired by @toxicanonymity's GILF!Joel (mine is a bit of a perv, but this isn't really a dark fic). It was also inspired by @atticrissfinch's MMITB (I wish I had a fraction of her talent for dirty talk, but I'm not even a native speaker of English, so I do what I can). Now you go read them both, I ASSURE YOU it'll be a good time. Huge thanks for all the people that cheered me on with this: Toxi, @romanarose, @beefrobeefcal, @gwendibleywrites, I love you all. (I must admit that I don't know if I'll ever continue this, honestly, although part of me wants to get to the sex scene. xD)

Pairing: No outbreak old man!Joel x Reader

CW: Joel being bold, dirty talk. That's it <3

No beta, we die like lonely writers xD

It wasn’t a bad job.

Sarah wanted to hire you to take care of her father, Joel. He wasn’t that old, but years of hard work in construction gave him some mobility issues. Sarah worried he spent too time alone, and that he could fall, get hurt and trapped without help because of his pride (which seemed to be a real possibility, considering Joel didn’t want to lose his independence in any way).

You were supposed to get the night shift, which was nice. The night shift was calm, except when it wasn’t. Sarah assured you she talked to her father, she wanted to introduce you to him, before you started working.

You prepared for war, if the man was as stubborn and grumpy as his daughter described.

Sarah introduced you and the old man looked at you over his glasses.

“You sure this pretty thing can lift me off the floor?” He asked, a crooked smirk stretching his lips. You considered answering him, but he raised his face defiantly and winked.

He was teasing his daughter.

You chuckled, to Joel’s delight. Sarah hired you on the spot.

***

Joel was grumpy most of the time. You could understand. Getting older was specially hard on some people. Losing their independence seemed to be a horrifying blow.

You admired the family pictures displayed on the walls and the bookshelves. They showed a younger Joel, large and proud, wearing tight tshirts that showed his big arms.

He didn’t change much, to be honest. His hair now was completely silver, as his beard. The wrinkles didn’t spoil his roguish smile. He was on his seventies, but looked younger, somehow. You blamed his brown eyes.

***

“You know what I miss most about my youth?” He said softly one day, entering the living room. You were looking at his pictures. He slowly moved by your side and placed a hand over your back, rubbing gentle circles. “All the pussy.”

You turned to him, astonished at his boldness. He smirked, then shrugged. You felt your face getting warm and a different, slick, syrupy warmth pooling on your lower belly. He licked his lips and sighed.

“It was easy to get pussy with those looks.” He pointed at one picture of himself and smiled proudly. “Didn’t fuck as much as I wanted, or as much as I could. Tried to be a good dad. Don’t regret anything, but... Oh boy, I miss it.” He looked you up and down, his smile turning appreciative.

“Thought old pervs like you liked tiny thin teenagers.” You scoffed.

“Only dumbasses want those.” Joel chuckled, his hand sliding lower on your back. “I like them older. Like you. With those eyes, like you know and did everything under the sun.” Joel hums, closing his eyes. “Get them cockdumb and they cry so sweetly… Mmmm, the surprise in their wide eyes...” He licks his lips, watching your reaction. You laugh, trying to hide your own arousal.

“Well, Joel, I think the preference is because they are supposed to be tight.” You said firmly, standing your ground. You refused to look shocked, and you saw no reason to scold him, at least not yet. Maybe it was your pussy talking.

Joel leaned over you slowly; you stayed very still. His warm breath tickled your ear.

“After a certain size, honey, everything feels tight.” He said softly, grabbing his half hard cock through his pants. You looked down and gasped, noticing the girth of his bulge inside his huge hand. Joel stepped back, smiling proudly, and moved into the house, dragging his feet. “Lemme know if you want a ride, sweetheart. Them blue pills are easy to get.” He turned and winked at you.

[bonefall]

Update + Reply Bundle

Heyo all, it's been a while with some radio static and I've got a bundle of bits to reply to here!

If you're wondering where I've been, it's actually that things got MEGA busy on my end. Between the new year, a small promotion at work, getting a license to operate an X-ray machine for extremities (i have no idea how this happened man i have an applied science degree in dead people), learning some Java, and making travel plans to visit my partner overseas, it's been hectic but good.

But I ain't gonna pay it no mind, because every 6 months in queensland a man is torn apart by a crocodile the Warrior Cats never stops. I have also been passively ruminating on the Family Tree and keeping up with checking the inbox. Before I get to ShadowClan and the Glitch Warriors, I'll tackle all the other things.

SO reply time;

Changing Skies Reactions (On Moonpaw's sister being stillborn, the ShellFern cheating situation, etc)

The Flipclaw/Myrtlebloom Family Tree Fix plumthrift is soooo back

Other Fun Stuff (Which character should be allowed to say fuck. Names I'd like to use in other Clans.)

(NOTE; not addressing anything submitted about BB!ASC just yet, I want to put all my plans together first)

CHANGING SKIES REACTIONS

My honest feeling is that they don't know what a chimera is, BUT, I'm actually glad about that.

I would 100% rather they go with having her be possessed by a dead stillborn rather than them making her rare, ultimately harmless genetic quirk "the reason" why she's haunted. The stillborn haunting is the sort of concept I've come to accept in the setting (though I do have my critiques and reservations about another Evil Voice plotline, especially given the shitshow that was Splashstar in the last book of ASC), but there are DEEP layers to how messed up the implication of "zygote souls" would be.

Others have been joining into the convo in the meanwhile, tho. In essence, I agree with @mothdapple's thoughts on the subject. I hope the voice isn't wholly evil, and I hope that the haunting doesn't stem from her chimerism.

I'm betting that she gets a weird shipping moment with one of her cousins tbh. Especially if she survives this arc and doesn't become a medcat. You just know they'll open up the next arc with her and Sunkit being mates with 400 babies if you ship her with a girl too hard lmaooo

@dawn-sunlight

MANNNNN. You CANNOT convince me that I'm not correct about this at this point. The first 4 times it might have been coincidence, but they seem to have pinpoint accuracy for sinking popular LGBT headcanons and hetconning straight romance into old material.

That's Riverstar, Blossomfall, Ivypool, Leopardstar, Onestar (they replaced a firestar scene man), and now Thriftear and Flipclaw in one fell swoop?

Not to mention how everyone was joking around about "Old Woman Yuri" with Tawnypelt and Leafstar and then BAM, Sudden Crowfeather.

Like idk. Watch Barley get a super edition called Barley's Boo where it's revealed he once fell in love with a beautiful BloodClan she-cat who he had to leave behind, until it's revealed she's in WarriorClan now, so he leaves the barn to get her pregnant before dying. And also she's his first cousin.

That's a joke but if Apollo hits me with the dodgeball I hope he kills me in 1 hit

THE FLIPCLAW/MYRTLEBLOOM FAMILY TREE FIX

thank god. This is actually an extremely easy fix for me, now. All the pre-emptive cleaning I've done for the BB!ThunderClan family tree has paid off.

I Don't Rewrite Arcs Until They're Done, BUT, I have discussed the previous options at length before and how I intend to fix it. If you're reading along but need to catch up on the convo and context, follow these links in order,

Summary and Intro: BB!ThunderClan and the Propositions (ShellFern, StormCherry, FlipBay, or PlumThrift)

Anon ShellFern argument

Anon StormCherry argument

Hypokit Moonpaw Designs for All Four Options

Phantom of the Opera FlipBay Moonpaw

StormCherry Voter who changed their mind for FlipBay or PlumThrift

All caught up? Nice.

PlumThrift is sooooo back. It's basically what they've shown in the first book of CS. Soccer moms and their weird ass kid who they're desperately pushing to be an overachiever LET'S GOO. The most likely thing that will happen is that Moonpaw is a PlumThrift kitten-- unless something big changes.

(Though I am a little bit saddened that I can't do the cool Phantom of the Opera mask thing which came from Bayshine... unless Moon was honor sired, of course. Or maybe adopted. Hmm...)

For Oakkit, Sunkit, and Hazelkit though, I'm leaning towards what anon mentioned. Their canon parents are Myrtlebloom/Flipclaw, so it would be very easy for me to change to FlipBay because of my pre-emptive fixes. It'll match canon, and I have also grown fond of the idea of the two silly dads.

(plus then it's extra easy to have Moonpaw come from the first surrogated litter which was for PlumThrift to raise, and the second litter is for FlipBay. Biologically full siblings, socially cousins.)

That said, there's still a small chance they get shuffled over to ShellFern. Or, more radically, I might end up sending them over to StormCherry. If that doesn't happen though, don't worry, I'm still keeping Honeyfur and Leafshade in my back pocket in case there's no other opportunities to give them kids.

I will say this for certain though-- PlumThrift BB!Moonpaw would never have full siblings. She will be the only child they ever raise. If the canon parents ever have another litter, they would immediately get shuffled to FlipBay or someone else.

Sunbeam's kittens are, of course, Finchlight's. im punting that other thing into RiverClan. GIT.

OTHER FUN STUFF

I do actually want more mushroom names broadly, because sapient cats would actually be REALLY interested in fungi. I'd even say they'd be more interested in them than flowers. A lot of edible fungi have a chemical compound that makes them smell and taste like meat, so imo, they should be kind of like natural snacks or treats you can find while out and about.

Kinda like how humans have fruit, a culture of cats would have mushrooms. I plan on researching and writing a VERY elaborate mushroom guide at some point explaining this all in-depth (which I will be going thru my little "rolladex" of artists to illustrate it, when it's time), so I don't want to dive into the details just yet.

But in terms of names...

Something I wish I'd been able to do more of is weird, hard-to-translate prefixes. Scents that humans overlook, more time-related names about seasons or crepuscular events, categories of birds and invertebrates, etc.

Petricorfur, Prey-scent-tail, Arionbelly (a particularly large slug for eating), Rascalheart (a particularly feisty bit of prey that gives you a good chase), Thermalhawk (a thermal is a rising wind that allows birds of prey to soar more easily) etc.

If I was going back and scrounging up Glitch Warriors for other Clans, or just generally shaking up the prefixes, I would add names with these "themes" into each Clan;

Thunder: Sweet things and more wood-related terms Nectar, Drupe, Sap, Pith, Grain, bark textures like Fissure, Scale, Tessel.

River: More aquatic animal terms, poetic imagery, and "beautiful" things Caddis, Cray, Salmon, Roe, Mussel, Pearl, Dazzle, Twirl, Dance, Sway, Mirror (for the state of water when it's absolutely calm).

Wind: Sounds, events around the time of birth Bellow, Hiss, Roar, Crackle, Swale (if born around the time of a muirburn), Journey (if born out of camp), Drowsy (for a long birth)

Shadow: Mushrooms, wetland terms, fermentation effects, names that might otherwise sound like insults to other Clans Cake, Candle, Jelly, Parasol, Elf, Sphagnum, Gas, Drake (male duck), Muck, Peat, Bog, Fizzle, Bubble, Rot, Blight, Gnat, etc.

Sky: Cars and Suburban Terms Truck, Bike, Cycle, Wheel, Asphalt, Lawn, Fence, Board, Shingle, etc.

I also really want to put Vetch in someplace. It's a pretty normal and common kind of flower, I just think the name is neat.

@angelinelitalady

Firestar's Quest Chapter 5: "ARE YOU TELLING ME SKYCLAN HAD TO LEAVE BECAUSE THERE WEREN'T ENOUGH FUCKING TREES????"

Canon? I will never not answer Bumble, you're going to have to give me two guns to ask this kind of question because there isn't a version of me in any nearby timelines that would say anyone except Bumble. It should be a rocket launcher, actually. We need to give her the nuclear codes. In BB I'd give it to Spotty. It would be REALLY funny. 25% of the story is preventing the rise of TigerClan and the other 75% of the story is taking the gun away from her.

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR ALSO! IT'S SNAKE TIME BABEYYYY

@magewolf-the-artist

Do it! Go ahead! I can put it over in the Fan-Fanart post if you'd like. I should really make a section there for written art, too.

Everything about BB and everything WC-related I put on this blog is open source, from Clanmew, to plot threads, to Clan Culture, etc. PLEASE reference what you'd like if you're inspired by anything you see here!

The only thing I ask is that you keep that spirit of mutual collaboration alive. If you add onto Clanmew, allow others to reference it too. Talk about your thought processes. Encourage people to be inspired by what you did and make versions of their own. That's the beauty of fandom.

My end-game goal is for BB to result in a "skeleton" of chapter-by-chapter notes, the sort of thing you would hand to a ghost writer, so that it's essentially bones that anyone could take and write out themselves. This will take a looooong time because it's more about me having fun along the way, so if you want to write something, go ahead!

Never, never worry about "getting something wrong." You can change things, you can grow as a writer with time, wisdom, and practice. The worst piece of art is a piece that is never made.

[loca4moony]

Loving schemes

Hi! This is my first time posting here. I want to thank the sweet @ellecdc not only because she was so lovely to encourage me to share when I was (maybe still are) shy and nervous about it, but also because I was inspired by her, her writing and her gorgeous portrait of Barty 🤍.

Barty Crouch Jr x reader | 560 words

The one with Barty feeling down and reader comforting him.

Masterlist <3

Mornings at Hogwarts were never quiet, much less if Barty was by your side and, let's be honest, when wasn't he?

To an outsider, you were having a normal breakfast. Barty made your and his drinks while you stuffed a shared plate for both of you to eat from.

But none of you were outsiders, that's why Evan looked around protectively, Dorcas tried oh so hard to make your boyfriend utter a single sentence instead of the occasional nod, and Regulus and Pandora kept brainstorming as quietly as they could the reason behind all of this.

You touched Barty’s thigh hoping he would look at you. He tensed. One, two, three you counted until he finally relaxed. He looked at your hand, never your face. Something was definitely wrong.

“Barty, baby, can we skip classes today? I feel a little under the weather” You tried.

Mhm is all you got as an answer, but he took your hand in his and started walking back to his dorm.

Once you got there, he took off your shoes and grabbed comfy clothes for both of you.

Before he could begin with his, as he liked to call it, ‘treasure caring 101’, you stroked his arm and said - in the most calming voice you could muster - “Can we lay down first? I want to cuddle” while pulling him to lay on top of you.

After a minute of scratching his head, he finally whispered “Why are you doing this?” “Because I love you Barty. I'll always be here for you, as long as you'll have me.” With that he looked at your face with something that could not be described as nothing but awe.

“Can I tell you something?” you asked, continuing when he nodded the affirmative “The very first thing I loved about you is how ‘too much’ you are. You know… talk, help, smile, read so much.”

You could tell that he was in shock. “How did you know I'm feeling insecure about that?” “Well,” you joked “maybe you won't believe me but some people think I'm a witch” you whisper as if you were telling him a secret.

Although he gave you the faintest smile, it was enough to make your heart jump in your chest. In return, you gave him a bone-crushing hug. He never felt more loved in his life.

You laid like that for what could have been twenty seconds or twenty years. “Not everything is fixed though…” he said with his usual mischief in his voice.

“What happened?” You asked, finally feeling like you could breathe again.

“Well…you told me that you didn't feel well and I know it was just a scheme to get me into bed with you”

“And help you and be there for you,” you interrupted “but okay”

“So you lied to take advantage of me and I think I need something in return. For the trouble, you know. And for the pain it might have caused me. I think I deserve a kiss” he said as if he didn't only have to ask for you to kiss him for hours on end.

“Mmm…” you pretended to think “how about three? Just in case you know, I wouldn't want to leave you wounded.”

“I think that's fair”

And let's just say you kissed him a lot more than three times that morning.

Thank you so much for reading <3