#It's alright if it aint public anywhere

[tlou-1]

Joel x Reader - Home (Chapter 9)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6| Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13| Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 TBA

Note - This chapter is bit of a long one (sorry) and the songs mentioned are Give In to Me from Country Strong and Take on Me by Aha.

On a cool Autumn afternoon, you are sat on the sofa of Joel’s house playing guitar with Ellie. She is most extraordinary kid you had came across and you had come to love her. From the witty remarks and one liners, to the enthusiasm when she spoke about her comics or something new she had learned and wanted to share with you and Joel.

Joel arrives home and is kicking off his boots “That’s starting to sound a lot better”

“Well between you and Ellie, I have got two pretty good teachers.” You say passing the guitar back to Ellie “Here you go kiddo, I’ve got to head”.

She sighs “Okay but we will see you later at the Tipsy Bison”. You nod to her silently smiling and remind her to get there for seven.

“Where you off to?” Joel asks. He had only just got back from a patrol, but you also had left Bruce in the house for too long before your shift tonight.

“Can’t you just bring him with you next time?” he asks, you can hear in his voice he is disappointed to not get to spend some time with you.

“I could, I never thought but I would need to bring all his thi-“” Joel cut you off before you can finish.

“Well why don’t you just bring him, his stuff and all of your stuff here…. And keep it here”

“Keep it here? Joel Miller are you asking me to move in with you” you playfully pinch at his hip but then you can see, he is serious.

“Can I think on it for a bit? It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just I have lived in that house for a long time on my own – I just need” but Joel interrupts you again. “Hey, hey darlin” he begins in a soothing tone, smoothing his hands over your hair, taking your head in his hands. “Don’t worry, take as long as you need. I aint going anywhere”. He presses a light kiss to the top of your head.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Its just after seven when Joel and Ellie arrive at the bar, Ellie pulling Joel by the hand in a hurry in front of him. They take two seats and the bar, “and what can I get for you two this evening?” you chirp. Ellie orders an orange juice and Joel a beer but when you present him with a whiskey, he looks confused “I’m sorry Y/N to tell you this but that aint a beer” he says in a sarcastic tone.

“I know that I just think you might need it” you bat back as you push the glass closer to him. “Alright between Ellie dragging me here and you acting odd, what’s going on?” He gruff leaning back into the chair looking between you and Ellie, looking to see who would break first, you caved. Heading towards the wall where an array of musical instruments are secured to the wall, you pull a guitar from its stand and gesture to Joel to take it.

“You said when you were younger you always wanted to be a country singer. Now I know it’s not exactly the Grand Ole Opry in here, but I do think these folks would like to hear a bit of music, other than old Seth banging a tune out on the banjo” you smile. Joel begins to protest but you shove the guitar in his hands and fill his glass once more. “A bit of dutch courage and go get up there cowboy”. Ellie is at the back of Joel pushing him toward the front of the bar where one microphone sits. “God you’re a stubborn women” he sighs, looking at you and Ellie defeatedly.

“I thought that’s what you like about me”

“Mhm – well not when its used against me” he laughs but stops as his mind seems to conjuring up some plan, “on the other hand. I do have an idea, don’t get mad and just remember I love you”.

“Evening folks – tonight I thought we could have a bit of music. Now I can play a bit of the guitar but there is a young woman in here who I think sings pretty good. Christ I think she’s something else if I am being honest. Y/N get yourself away from the bar and up here” Joel calls loudly from the microphone. This had totally and completely back fired and he was using flattery to make it worse. The entire bar begins to join in trying to coax you into signing. Molly and Ellie are cheering, Jesse is laughing knowing how uncomfortable you look, Tommy and Maria tap you on the shoulder “You can’t just leave the poor bastard standing up there” laughs Tommy. ‘You could’ you think to yourself.

You give everyone the biggest eye roll and fling your towel down annoyed “Fine – alright, alright! I’ll sing a damn song”. Joel is smiling cheekily at you when you stand next to him, only a small amount of space between you and a microphone. “I can see why you decided that was a good time to tell me you loved me for the first time. It’s the only reason I haven’t smashed that guitar over your head”. Joel lets his head back and laughs, he got you this time.  A couple seconds later he composes himself and he begins to sing his part.

“I’m gonna wear you down

I'm gonna make you see

I'm gonna get to you

You're gonna give into me

-

I'm gonna burn for you

You're gonna melt for me

Come on, come on

Give into me”

You feel your stomach do a double flip, a mixture of nerves and the way this man was looking at you. You seemed to bring out the best in each other, he would never have done this before, and you would never have done it on your own. It would have seemed so stupid with everything going on beyond the gates of Jackson but you seemed to be able to stop and enjoy the simple even frivolous things since meeting Joel. It must be what joy felt like you thought after years of forgetting to feel it.  You move in closer to the mic, your faces so close, to sing the next lines together.

“You're gonna take my hand

Whisper the sweetest words

And if you're ever sad

I'll make you laugh

I’ll chase the hurt

The song comes to an end, everyone gives a round of applause and you take an over-the-top bow. You make your way back to the bar and Joel begins to follow you when you stop in your tracks “and just where do you think your going?” you ask him, he still has the pick of his guitar in between his teeth and can’t respond. “I still want to watch you sing a song from the bar like I had planned”. You hear him try muttering something but its incoherent. You take your usual spot behind the bar as Tommy passes you a whiskey “I think you earned this’ he chuckles in his seat. “You think?” you laugh. Joel clears his throat, and you snap your attention back to him.

“Well let’s try something maybe some of us older ones will know” Joel scratches the back of his neck looking viably more uncomfortable without you there. You catch his eyes and silently mouth the words to him across the room “I love you”. He begins to play a familiar song but he has slowed it down, made it gentler. ‘Take on me by Aha” you think to yourself. Once he finishes everyone gives an applause and Joel couldn’t get to the back of the room quick enough. For spending his childhood dreaming of being a singer, he had become rather bashful in his adult years.

Joel heads behind the bar and passes the guitar to you, “Thank you” he says as you reach to hang it back on the wall “No, No thank you for keeping us folks entertained for the evening” you laughs trying goad him.

“Joel can you teach me that song you just played! I’d like to play it for Dina and my friends” Ellie smiles from her seat.

“Sure thing Kiddo” he chirps as he slings his arm around your shoulder, it was very rare you ever showed each other affection in public but after that performance in front of everyone it didn’t really matter. People could see you were together; they could see the way you looked at each other. You move to face him and lift his other arm around you so as that Joel is wrapped around you.

“I’ll start tomorrow” you smile at him, but he just looks confused

“You’ll start what?” He titles his head

“Moving my stuff across, I’ll start tomorrow. If you’ll still take me and Bruce” you smile warmly. Joel kisses you tenderly

“Baby I wanted you to live with us weeks ago” he laughs and kisses you on top of your head before moving closer to your ear so only you could hear him “and I meant it – I love you”.

“Would you to get a room” Ellie holds her hand up to try cover the sight of you both.

[sapphicmsmarvel]

JJ: Nothin but My Feelings

masterlist

song: nothing but my feelings by little mix

probably the most smut ive ever written so uh, viewer discretion is advised. 

kinks mentioned: public kink, “rich” kink, sitting on face, eating out 

I'm layin' here in nothin' but my feelings. 

JJ was having a rough time since the divorce, it’s been a year. All she could think about was your lips, her crush on you wasn't easing since Garcia asked her how she felt about you. 

Thinkin' 'bout our shadows on the ceiling

JJ couldn’t help but let her mind wander; her mind wandered to soft skin against each other. What your moans would sound like, how you would taste. She groaned at the thought, her hand wandered to her bedside table drawer, her hand grasped the silver bullet as she thought, “well might as well.” 

Waitin' for you

So you should probably come through

If you know what's good for you

Over the next couple of days, she noticed how you seemed more stressed than ever. So, she came up with a solution. 

The good ole one night stand agreement. Now, she just had to think of a way to ask you.  

It was just you two at work, “hey, Y/N?”

“Yeah?” You sighed. 

“You wanna stay at my place tonight?” JJ asked, “we aren’t gonna be done until midnight, I dontttt want you driving home late.”

“Okay, what’re we gonna do?” 

She saw an opportunity, and she took it. “each other?” 

She looked up despite her fear and saw you wide eyed. “JJ, I meant the paperwork but….” You shrugged. “Hell, I’m down.”

“You serious?” She asked, shocked. 

You swallowed. “Yeah.” 

I know we will never work, yeah (I know we will never work, yeah)

But if you lookin' for a workout, you should come 'round

Breaths dispersed from both of your mouths as your teeth and lips clashed together messily. JJ felt hot everywhere and you felt desire course through your veins. She pushed you against the wall, she picked you up and your legs were around her waist. 

You felt bursts of hot arousal spark in your pussy and through your thighs as your hips grinded against each other. You moaned as JJ kissed down your neck, and trail a valley of kisses down your cleavage. 

JJ wanted you underneath her, she wanted to taste you as you moaned and writhed against her clever mouth. 

“Where do you want me?” You asked. Your breathing was heavy, the swells of your breasts pushing against JJ’s face as you breathed heavy. 

It felt like heaven to her. 

“God, anywhere and everywhere. Preferably on my face.” JJ said. 

You felt your pussy grow wetter at her words. “Your wish is my command.” 

You ain't even gotta worry (You ain't even gotta worry)

'Cause ain't no strings up on my body

I aint tied down. 

By the end of the hour long hook up, you two were covered in sweat, sheets twined in between your legs. “So when can we do this again?” You asked, breathlessly. Enjoying the way your pussy ached, as well as your legs. 

JJ laughed breathily. “In ten minutes?” 

You laughed, “I meant after today, this can be a one night stand if you want it to be?” 

“It’ll have to be, I’m not ready for a relationship. Not with the kids.” “Babygirl, I was thinking of a good ole fuckbuddy agreement.” 

“So many more times?” “As many times as you want. No strings attached. We’re still best friends, we’re just friends that fuck.” 

She laughed, “we should’ve started this right after the divorce.” 

You laughed in response, then that turned into a noise of surprise as JJ rolled over on top of you to fuck you into next week. 

Cause I warned you, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

I told you, told you

You're my mood

Come over now

It became a regular thing that you two happily volunteered to room together on cases, when the case was finished is when the fucking would happen. Showers were a favorite spot. 

She also had a public kink. 

It was about 4am on the plane, every single team member had their own headphones in or else you wouldn’t have done what you were about to do. They had also been asleep for an hour so there was zero risk. And, you two were far, far away from everyone else. JJ was especially worked up due to the fact you two hadn’t fucked in two months due to the increased caseload and kids on her end. 

So while she was reading a book you told her, “if you can whisper-read through a whole chapter without moaning, I will go home with you and be your personal fucktoy for as long as you want. Anything is on the table.” You whispered in her ear. 

“And if I lose?” She breathed as your lips ghosted over her neck causing goosebumps to rise on her skin. “Then I get to control a vibrating egg in you while we grocery shop tomorrow.” She felt your teeth graze across her skin, she knew you were smiling. 

“Deal.” She gritted her teeth as your fingers trailed around her nipples through her t-shirt. 

“You don't have a bra on.” You laughed, huskily. “Naughty girl.” Her nipples were pointed, as you pinched her. “I don’t hear you reading.” 

And then she began reading. She took many pauses to regain composure as your fingers slipped under the waistband of her sweatpants, causing her to shiver. 

She was doing really well, you had two fingers inside of her, massaging her walls. She lost control when you pushed the tip of your finger against her g-spot. 

She came. 

As you licked your fingers clean, you smiled, “you lost.” 

I'm layin' here in nothin' but my feelings

Plus some diamonds, drippin' from my earrings

Waitin' for you

JJ had a “rich” kink. That’s the only way you could explain it. She loved you looking luxurious. She bought you a chest piece of sorts. It was all diamonds and white lace, it was a bralette with diamonds strung everywhere, it sparkled bright in the moonlight as you waited for JJ to enter the hotel room. You wore white heels and a white sheer thong. Everything was on display. 

You two splurged on a hotel room in vegas, you told the team you were visiting your hometown, and JJ was heading to vegas with her mom. 

Her flight had landed, you called the hotel lobby with her name and said she’d be picking up a key to your guys’ room. And now, you were waiting on the bed with your legs crossed and you lounging around.

Not to toot your own horn, but you looked hot as fuck

So you should probably come through

I'm layin' here in nothin' but my feelings

Your phone rang, “hey JJ.”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. Traffic is so bad.” 

“It’s alright, I’m just laying here in nothing but my feelings.” You talked in a lower octave. “I bet you look amazing.” 

“Good enough to eat.” You responded. 

“Oh, I will definitely be doing that when I get there.” She said darkly. You knew her panties were wet. 

“Mm, well I have to go. The person I’m meeting tonight is running late, I have to go take care of myself.”

“I swear to God-” 

“Bye babygirl.” You said and hung up. 

Then you grabbed her favorite vibrator you use on her, you popped the tip in your mouth, and took a photo to send to her. 

Thinkin' 'bout our shadows on the ceiling

Waiting for you (Waitin' for you, baby)

You received a text back,  “god damn, do I wanna rail you so hard that the wall dents.” 

You giggled, then you laid back against the soft bedding as you waited for JJ.

You thought about all the times you two had hooked up. How much you loved the sound of her moans, the feeling of her thighs clenching around your face as you ate her out. How it felt when her hands cupped your ass as you sat on her face. The feeling of her walls clenching around your fingers as your tongue assaulted her clit rapidly. 

God, what’d you do for her to sit on your face right now. 

So you should probably come through

If you know what's good for you

“Y/N!” JJ said as she got in the room, you were in your fancy position. 

You looked up at her, bored. “Took you long enough.” 

She admired you, “I’m so sorry. You look like….God.”

“Goddess.” You corrected, smiling. 

She smiled, “how can I worship you? My beautiful, sexy, delicious Goddess.” 

“Oh I don’t know.” You mused, as she climbed on top of your lap. “Sit on my face, eat me out, fuck me with that strap on over there, the list is endless.” 

“She smiled, “well, who am I to deny the wishes of the Goddess?” 

Kinda tipsy but I'll wait up (But I'll wait up, wait up)

And I ain't takin' off my makeup 'til you take mе down

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, take me down

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

Later on that trip at a casino, someone was flirting with you. And to get back at JJ for being late, you acted absolutely oblivious. 

You paid for it once you got back to the hotel room. She slammed you against the wall, her hand on the back of your head so you didn’t get hurt. “Baby, baby, baby.” She shook her head and tsked. 

You groaned, “you hadn’t been paying attention to me.” You said. 

“Oh?” She cocked her head. “Well, let me make sure my babygirl knows how much I love the taste of her.” You moaned as she picked you up, your lips slamming together, her hands cupped your ass, she laid you down on the bed. She used her arms as support as she looked down at you. Your flushed cheeks, watching your breasts rise up and down with your deep breathing, your swollen lips and the straps of your silk tank top down your arms, your tits nearly popping from your shirt due to you not wearing a bra. 

She yanked your short skirt down, and smiled when she saw the lavender colored thong. Her teeth scraped your hip bone as she grasped the flimsy straps between her teeth. You groaned as you looked down and met her eyes. Her hands cupped your calves as she pulled the thong down your smooth legs. She pulled your thighs apart, she kissed a trail from your knee up to your pussy. She blew on it causing you to moan. She licked a long stripe up your slit, flicking your clit with her tongue. “I want you to ride my tongue.” She said.

And who were you to deny her of anything? 

'Cause I warnеd you

I told you, told you

You're my mood

I'll show you tonight

[fandom-necromancer]

1024. Part 2

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900

[Part 1]   [Part 3]   [Part 4]   [part5]   [part6]

Work went on as usual. He had too much to do to worry about anything but his cases and at home he was far too exhausted. Only his commute to work and back left him with time to think. Seeing the tower lurking in the distance while waiting for the light to turn green didn’t help either. This android had struck something inside him, the one part that had caused him to become a police officer in the first place: His sense of justice. And everything about that unit confined to x square metres of a public lobby screamed at him to do something about it. He had tried to convince himself time and time again that this wasn’t his business and that he should forget about some damn android that still lived better than some humans out there and that every machine that wasn’t out here was one less to worry about.

Still he stood at that junction and thought about the Connor-lookalike. I don’t know anyone. I was told I was dangerous. I like to imagine what they do once they left. I would love to meet new people and see the world, but I can’t. ‘It’s not your phcking problem Reed!’, he cursed at himself in the empty car and accelerated a bit to hard once the light was green. ‘It’s not your damn problem. Since when do you care about a phcking machine? Cyberlife built these plastic shits, so they should know best how to handle them, right? Shut up and drive home!’

Gavin sighed while sorting his case files. All he had to do now was waiting for a warrant, so his work hours seemed to stretch endlessly. But for now, his shift was over, and he spent the last half an hour to organise his desk and look busy. ‘I have to get some spares from Cyberlife, Hank. There is something wrong with my upper arm. Nothing major, but I want to make sure nothing happens when we are out there.’ Connor’s voice always felt like grinding on his nerves was its initial purpose and Gavin grumbled something under his breath. ‘Okay… Are you sure it’s nothing major?’ How could someone be that worried over a damn tin-can, Gavin wondered. Sure, Hank had always been a huge sap, but really? To him it felt like crying over a broken car. You just repaired it and that was the end to it. ‘Yeah, I’m certain. I just wanted to tell you, because I will be late to dinner today. But that’s fine, start without me.’ ‘Can’t you contact Markus?’ ‘Unfortunately not. RK800. Cyberlife has the monopoly on these spares. But it’s fine, I’ll survive. Just feels weird going back there after what happened during the revolution…’ Hank laid a hand on his shoulder. ‘Should I come with you?’ ‘No, no need to! I’ll manage.’

‘I could get them.’ Gavin had spoken before thinking about it and now stood next to their desk being stared at as if he had just declared to marry Connor. ‘You… what?’, they both spoke simultaneously. Phck. Well, there was no going back now, was there? ‘Hey, I just live near the damn thing, okay? That’s all.’ ‘Gavin, you sure you didn’t hit your head today?’, Hank asked. ‘I mean, it’s unlikely with your height, but you just offered to help Connor.’ ‘Hey, phck off, okay? Thought you wanted to have your damn tea-party at home. But fine, forget I said anything!’

>Maybe that’s his way of apologizing for how he behaved during the revolution Hank. The Lieutenant read the message on his screen, whilst Connor was already on his way to follow Gavin. ‘Reed!’, he called and the Detective turned with a deep scowl on his face. ‘I would greatly appreciate it if you could get them for me. We planned this dinner for a long time and-‘ ‘Hey, spare me the details, what do you need?’, Gavin interrupted, hoping no one would see them. ‘Oh, I… I just reserved them, it’s for Anderson and this is the number.’ The android fetched a note from their desk and scribbled a twenty-digit number onto it. ‘Thank you a lot for this!’ ‘Yeah, whatever. Don’t make such a fuzz.’

Gavin regretted it already, driving over the bridge towards the tower. Connor wouldn’t leave him alone now, thinking he suddenly had a change of mind about the android. Like hell he would ever stop hating the phcking tin-can. No, this was only one trip to stop his raging thoughts every time he drove home. Meet the android, ask more questions about why he was imprisoned and then get on with his life. Easy as that.

He went up to the reception handing over the paper with the number and telling the receptionist why he was there. Of course, he was told to sit down again, because the package had to be fetched from the warehouse first. Gavin instead walked past the reception again and searched for the RK900. Although he was actively on the lookout for him, he was surprised again. ‘Detective Reed! I didn’t think to see you again.’ As Gavin turned to look at the android, he found him positively delighted. ‘Err… Yeah, just here to pick up some spares for the precinct, you know?’ ‘Of course. The reception is right there if you-‘ ‘Yeah, already was there. I have to wait for the package to arrive.’ ‘Oh.’ The little LED at his temple flickered yellow. ‘You came to… speak with me then?’ ‘I guess so.’ ‘That is… I don’t know what to say. What do you want to speak about, Detective Reed?’ Gavin stepped from one foot to the other, before speaking up again. ‘It’s Gavin, okay? You don’t need the full title.’ ‘Thank you. I was never on first name basis with anyone before.’ ‘Did you know anyone’s name before?’, Gavin asked deadpan. ‘… No.’ ‘Phck, that’s phcked up.’ ‘I… I don’t understand, I’m afraid…’

Gavin sighed frustrated with his own feelings. ‘Fine, tin-can, why do they think you are dangerous?’ ‘I’m a killer.’ Gavin laughed loudly. This naïve idiot? A killer? ‘Oh, that’s a good one, plastic! Come on, for real, why do they keep you here?’ The RK900’s eyes darted around in confusion. ‘I… just told you.’ ‘Bullshit. You aren’t a killer. I met enough of them in my life to tell you that. Did you feel exceptionally murderous towards anyone who ever entered this tower?’ ‘No! Of course not! I don’t wish anyone harm!’ ‘Yeah, that’s what I thought. You aint a killer, toaster.’ ‘But that was my intended purpose. Before I was deviated. I am still able to use this programming.’ ‘Yeah, well, I can harm others too, doesn’t mean they keep me locked away somewhere.’ ‘It is better like this!’, the android emphasized and this was the first thing told with anger. Or was this just frustration? ‘It is better like this and they know best what to do. I am content with this. I have to. Please, don’t try and convince me otherwise, alright?’

Gavin shook his head. Couldn’t that android see he lived in denial? But he kept quiet. ‘Reed? Detective Reed to the reception please.’ That was fast. ‘Err… have to go again. It err… was nice talking, I guess.’ ‘Yes!’ The android was quick to take a step towards him, before seemingly realising what he was about to do and stopping himself. ‘I’m sorry for being that harsh.’ Harsh? God, that android really had never met a human before, had he? ‘Don’t worry about it, tin-can.’ ‘Erm… Detec- Gavin? Will I… Will I see you again?’ The toaster avoided his eyes saying that. Gavin felt extremely bad about leaving already. ‘Yeah. Sure.’

-

Life went on. The warrants had been granted, the bad guys caught, cases closed, and new ones dropped on his desk. Connor surprisingly didn’t bother him more than usually after he had dropped the package with the spares on his desk. He still thought about that RK900 at the tower when he drove past the bridge and well, it had just become another part of his routine by now. There hadn’t been another opportunity to drive to the tower, until Tina came up to him one time after work. ‘Hey, you live near to Cyberlife, right? Could you do me a favour? Please? Pretty Please?’ ‘What is it, T?’ ‘You know that reception android?’ ‘Yeah, barely.’ ‘Well, I know her a little better and… Let’s just say I would like to know her even better than that…’ ‘You got a crush on her? Why does everyone I know fall for a damn toaster?’ Tina smacked her hand on his wrist. ‘Hey! She is beautiful! And clever and funny and… and she makes the best muffins, the best! You know I can’t resist that!’ ‘Yeah, fine, what can I get your android girlfriend? A third arm?’ ‘Oh shut up, will you! She’s not my girlfriend yet… She just complained about her joints becoming worn by now and that she has to buy some new lubricant soon…’ ‘T, that’s something you can buy anywhere, it doesn’t have to be Cyberlife-branded’, Gavin sighed. ‘Hey, idiot, I want to land it with her, okay? Only the best for her! I’ll pay, too, I just don’t know the first thing about it and…’ ‘And what?’ ‘There are rumours going around that you want to polish your image towards androids a bit.’ She elbowed him in the side. ‘Didn’t know the great Gavin Reed would stop being and asshole and try playing nice.’ ‘I’m not-‘ Gavin froze. Shit, that wasn’t really the rumour, was it? ‘I’m not playing nice.’ ‘Whatever you say…’, she chuckled. ‘Now will you do this for me?’ ‘Of course’, he sighed. ‘You’ll have it tomorrow morning.’ At least he could use this to keep his promise to the android.

-

‘Gavin! You came!’ The smile on the android’s face was sickening. And strangely suiting him. ‘I promised, didn’t I?’, Gavin half-snapped. ‘More spares for the precinct?’ ‘Just lubricant this time. Our receptionist complained about stiff joints.’ ‘That’s very nice of you.’ Oh, phck. He had worked hard so no one would find one thing on him to call “nice”. So, he shrugged it off. ‘Yeah, I guess.’ ‘Well, what did you want to speak about?’, the android asked then and Gavin realised he didn’t really have anything he wanted to know from the RK900. But why was he here then? Not to let the silence stretch too long, he threw the same question back: ‘What do you want to know?’ ‘What do I want? Oh. Err… What is being a Detective like? What is your favourite place in Detroit? Are there a lot of androids in your precinct? How do stars look like? Is the ocean really that big? How-‘ ‘Okay, stop, please. That’s… a lot of questions’, Gavin chuckled. ‘I’m sorry.’ ‘No, don’t apologise. Just. One after the other, shall we?’

-

Gavin smiled mindlessly, putting the can of lubricant on his kitchen counter to take it with him tomorrow. The android had hung on his lips the entire time, near childlike in his simple questions. But as he had told him more about police work, he had proved to be very intelligent and it was evident what he lacked was experience, not intellect. Gavin would never admit it, but he regretted not to have more time.

The rumour Tina had told him about had spread through the precinct and more and more androids came to him asking for small favours. Gavin didn’t like that new development, but it gave him more opportunities to meet the RK900 and that was what really mattered in the end, didn’t it?

So far he had smuggled in a deck of cards to play and show the android tricks, they had talked about anything the android wanted to know more about and Gavin in turn had begun talking to him about what bothered him. Someone at work annoying him to no end, his cat being sick and getting better, Tina having less time for their bar nights because of her new girlfriend. Without realising they had become friends and Gavin still denied those thoughts to get to the surface. He was just getting parts for the precinct and while waiting he had nothing else to do than kill the time with conversation.

‘Gavin! More spares to get?’ ‘Dunno, does Thirium count as a spare?’ ‘Probably… But can’t they just get that delivered?’ ‘I guess. But that costs extra and takes longer. Easier for me to come and get it.’ ‘I see. Well, what do we do while waiting?’ ‘I got you something. Trust me, you’ll love it!’ Gavin was just as excited to show the tin-can as he was to see it, but he would kill anyone who would say that to his face. ‘Come, let’s sit down.’ They went to the small wall encasing the plant area and sat down. Gavin took out his phone and opened his gallery. ‘Here. This is my cat.’ He handed his phone over to the android who held it in his hands as if it was made of gold. ‘Your cat?’ ‘Yeah, I have one. Love these little shits.’ ‘Are they as soft as they look?’ ‘If they let you pet them? Yes.’ ‘Wow.’

Gavin leaned in to flip to the next images and the android took them all in as if they were some impossible wonders. The human changed to the next folder showing him pictures of him and Tina in some bar, the park across the street, his car, pictures from way back when he had been younger and on vacation with his brother. The android was fascinated by all of them and surprised Gavin by hugging him when he was called to the reception. Immediately he stepped back and apologised: ‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. But I’m just so happy. I never thought to see this, and you made it possible! Thank you.’ ‘Hey, don’t worry. I gotta go! See you soon!’

It wasn’t that soon, unfortunately. Gavin often thought about visiting the android just for him, not pretending to just go because of spares or something. But work kept him busy. The last months a lot of protests had shook the city: Androids protesting about Cyberlife’s conditions. New Jericho had unveiled just how the company treated their customers. The homes they sold them severely overprized were dilapidated, infested with mould and at the edge of decay. Repairs for rare models cost far more than those for more common ones, leaving several androids walking around damaged because they couldn’t afford it. It was injustice and a violation of their rights. Had they been human, someone would have acted far sooner. The police were out to stop these protests from becoming violent and mostly they didn’t. But as always, there were groups who had no qualms using force. Gavin jumped from one job helping out to the next and his own cases were still waiting for him. It had been a month of him not driving up to Cyberlife tower and he hoped the android would be patient with him. He would make it up to him, he swore to himself. He didn’t know how yet, but he would.

Exhausted from a day of standing next to his colleagues watching over peaceful protests and added overtime to do his own job, he let himself fall on his bed. He would just lie here for a while, before getting up to take a shower. Just lie here a bit and maybe… taking… a quick nap…

But of course, his phone stepped in between him and his much-needed rest. He picked up the buzzing brick of disdain and grumbled into it: ‘Reed here.’ ‘Gavin?’ That had him immediately sitting in his bed. ‘Tin-can?’ ‘Yes.’ There was some noise in the background Gavin couldn’t really place. ‘How did you get this number?’ ‘As you showed me the pictures. Sorry. I should have asked. But…’ ‘What is it? Why is it so loud over there?’ ‘That’s why I’m calling you. There are… people out there. They stormed in and… And I don’t know what they want, I hid. I hid in some… broom closet I believe. I don’t know what is going on and I’m scared. What if-‘ ‘They won’t hurt you, I’m on my way! I’ll just call the DPD for backup and then I’ll be there, okay? Stay where you are.’ ‘Thank you. But what if I do something? All this talk about me being dangerous…’ ‘Hey. You are not dangerous. Let me tell you that. Just stay there and don’t make a sound, okay? I’ll be there. I’m already out of the door now. Fifteen minutes!’ ‘Thank you Gavin. I don’t think I was ever scared like this.’ ‘And you won’t be again, trust me. I’m on my way!’

[>next part]

[humansofoz]

April 2, 2019

“Dirty money come with lots of stains. Road to riches come with lots of lanes. Never had shit, got lots to gain.” -Gunplay

Cato III. 19. SUNY Oswego Sophomore.

HoOz- What was your greatest struggle at age 16?

Cato III- It probably was my dad. Definitely. Me and my dad never really got along. We never really could see eye to eye. My father wasn’t ready to be a father and he still isn’t. He doesn’t quite know how to be one. So definitely my greatest struggle when I was 16 was trying to cultivate and build a relationship with him. It was such a love-hate relationship. It was like one moment I was like I gotta accept this man for who he is and know how to deal with him but at the same time, I still expect you to do this and do that like the stereotypical father. So there would be days where I’d just be like man, fuck him. Then there would also be days where I was like man, I need him at the same time. So trying to find a common ground and a balance with my father was probably my most difficult struggle when I was 16.

HoOz- Has your relationship with your father changed at all since then?

Cato III- My maternal grandmother is the person I consider my father. I respect my dad for who he is. He’s okay, we have a speaking relationship. It’s definitely improved. We don’t necessarily argue that much. I’m a little bit better with conversation and I’m also a lot more understanding of who he is as a person and as a human. It has gotten a little bit better but it’s pretty much the same. I don’t feel comfortable talking to him about a lot of things. Like I said, my maternal grandmother, that’s the person I consider my father. She pretty much taught me the stuff that a father is supposed to teach a son. My grandmother was that person. So yeah, I have my actual father and then I have my father figure.

HoOz- Can you tell me a little bit about what it was like growing up in East Atlanta?

Cato III- Atlanta is a very beautiful and diverse place depending on where you go. I lived out in the suburbs but I was also ten toes down in Decatur and Decatur is also the hood. In Atlanta there’s a lot of southern hospitality and people are very nice and very kind but at the same time, you will get robbed! You always have to be cognizant of what you’re doing and almost everywhere you go in Atlanta is hood. There’s a hood everywhere. Like I said, the area I was in is synonymous with murders, gang banging, drugs of course, violence, so you can’t really trust people. You kinda gotta be heartless. You gotta be cold towards people. You gotta be real careful of who you deal with and who you hang out with cause all it takes is to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. A lot of my homies ended up getting murdered and going to prison and things of that nature, so when you see a lot of stuff like that it kind of makes you cold. Growing up there is a struggle but there’s beauty in it.

HoOz- Is there anything that you learned from growing up in Atlanta that you still carry with you now?

Cato III- Loyalty, honesty, trust, and passion. Those would be the four.

HoOz- Do you have any siblings?

Cato III- Yeah I have four sisters.

HoOz- What is your relationship like with your sisters?

Cato III- My oldest sister, we’re getting better. She’s kind of like a miserable person and kind of does her own thing. My sister is 29 years old, so she’s also much other than me and in a very different place. She has two kids. But I love my sister. We have a good relationship when it needs to be. The other three are my dads children and I don’t really care too much about them. The oldest one, her name is Cortilla, she’s cool. She cares, like she comes and sees me and stuff like that. We have conversations and she let me see my niece, she had a daughter named Je’Kiyah. The other two, Amari is a leech. She doesn’t really have any respect for my father or anything else. She’s very selfish and I don’t really like being around her. She always expects me to help her out when I never really ask her for help. And Essence, yeah I don’t give a fuck about her.

HoOz- What has been your proudest moment so far?

Cato III- It’s a tie. Graduating high school because that was something that a lot of people in my area that I was around did not get a chance to do. It was so great to see me my mom and my dad come together and get along for a day. They usually get along but they really got along that day. My grandmother and everybody was there. I graduated with a few friends that I still have to this day. Four years just working that hard and making it out of the stuff that I’ve been through, that was definitely a great day. And then becoming an RA. It’s already difficult becoming an RA because when I applied, like 169 people had sent in an application and out of the new RA’s there might have been 7 black men. If you want to count hispanic men or men of color you might get that number up to like 15, but it was out of like 160. So I was definitely proud to get this job.

HoOz- What was your most memorable childhood experience?

Cato III- I don’t know, I never really went anywhere. We were broke so I never been to like Disneyland or Universal. I was 16 years old and I went to the pro football hall of fame with my mother. I love football and my mom decided to take me to the pro football hall of fame for spring break. That was a very good trip. Definitely in the top ten days of my life. Seeing the history of the league and signed jerseys and all the superbowl rings. I think one of my favorite football players, Todd Gurley, he had broke some record and it had his cleats and his jersey in there.

HoOz- Based off of everything that you have been through and learned, if you were to have children, what values would you instill in them and what would you teach them?

Cato III- First thing I would want to do is be married to their mother. I come from a broken home and I feel like I missed out on a lot because my parents weren’t together. So I would definitely love to have an actual family. Not just a mom and a father, but us being together and living in the same household, loving each other and really flourishing. I would want to get them all of the stuff I never had. I don’t want them to have to worry about any of the stuff I had to worry about. I don’t want them to have to worry about coming home and food being on the table. I don’t want them to have to worry about coming home and the heat or lights being on. I don’t want them to worry about being fearful to come home and come outside because we live in a gang infested area. So I would like to provide them with a comfortable life and their safety would be one of my main priorities. As far as values, loyalty, passion, dedication, respect, pretty much the values that I have. I want them at a young age to find out what they’re willing to die for. I want them to know at a young age, like 10 11 or 12 years old, what are you willing to pay the ultimate price for. I feel like if they know that they’ll go hard at everything they do.

HoOz- What is your biggest flaw?

Cato III- Im ashy. Nah I’m playing! I am ashy for the record, very ashy. I’ve been doing better with lotion, I’m doing alright today. But my biggest flaw? I have a lot. I aint even gonna lie, I care too much about people. And I know that sounds like oh that’s not a flaw, but I give too much of a fuck about people. That is my problem. I end up getting hurt a lot by it and it kind of damages me as a person. So sometimes I care TOO much. And I think sometimes I care about everybody, which is cool, but the effort I give to people is another flaw. But as far as like flaws, I talk too much. I definitely talk too much, I’ll talk your motherfucking ear off. Even though I be knowing what the hell I be talking about for the most part! But I’ll talk your ear off. So I talk too much, I’m ashy, and I care too much.

HoOz- What is your biggest strength?

Cato III- Communication. I communicate very well with people. I connect with people. I bond with people. So my biggest strength would be my communication. Definitely. How I communicate with other people. I’m very inclusive. So I would say that’s probably my biggest strength. The ability to talk to people.

HoOz- Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years?

Cato III- I see myself working in my career field, either in the radio or in public relations for a company. Probably at that time I’ll be ready to be in a relationship and ready to settle down. Trying to own something, I’m planning on owning a house. And educating myself further on how to really build wealth. Probably try to look into buying properties or something like that. That’s what I see myself doing. Taking care of my family like I been doing.

HoOz- If you could tell your future self one thing, what would it be?

Cato III- Death before dishonor.

[starrypawz]

The word ‘Wild Bantha Chase’ was rapidly coming to mind. But then what else could you do? So it didn’t surpise her one bit when herself and Corso returned to Dealer’s Den that Darmas had even more scraps for them to chase. This was beyond tiring and she knew it was just the start.  At least Darmas had filled them in quickly whilst Bea sat with her arms crossed and her feet over the edge of the couch she’d been sitting on in a stance way that honestly made the already young Bea look younger.

“Bea aint been too much trouble for you?” Corso ventured, and Amethald was pretty sure the resultant eye roll from Bea could be felt through the force.

“Oh no not at all, she’s been delightful!” Darmas had shrugged, “We had a nice chat whilst you were gone, didn’t we my dear?” 

Bea shrugged, “He’s alright,” 

“See warming up to me, when you left she called me an old fart,”

“Bea!” Corso tutted

“That’s nothing like what you called him that time he came to Ord and-”

“We need to get moving,” Amethald sighed, any longer and Skavak would probably slip through their fingers once more. “Right captain,” Corso turned on his heel and stopped, “Bea you alright ahnging out here a little longer?”

“No,” Bea crossed her arms, standing up from the couch she’d been sitting on.

“No?” Corso raised an eyebrow.

“You heard me, I’m coming with you two,”

“Bea...”

“If you don’t want me going anywhere why did you even let me get off Ord!” Bea threw her hands up just stepping into Corso’s

“Bea,” Corso sighed, raising his hand up, “You heard him right? Black Sun, it’s not safe,”

Bea sighed loudly, almost loud enough to make the person on the next table consider looking up, “You realise, nowhere is safe,”

“I don’t want you getting hurt!”

“I’ve already been hurt!” Bea angrily tapped the scarring on her cheek, “I’ve been just as hurt as you are and I’m still standing,”

A pregnant silence seemed to hover over the cantina, a few waitresses seemed to look over in their direction briefly before going back to their business. And Amethald mentally sighed realising that bringing two people along with her also meant twice the baggage.

“Bea...” Corso pleaded, Darmas seemed to be paying undue attention to a drink, “Captain can you...”

“She does have a point,” Amethald sighed and crossed her arms, realising rapidly that she really didn’t have time for this even if she liked the pair of them. “We don’t exactly have anywhere she can stay...”

Bea gave an angry nod of the head and pointed towards Darmas, “Sides Darmas said Corso needs to realise I’m an adult,”

Corso looked over at Darmas, about to say something and then immediately had the sensation of ‘Oh shit he’s right’ smack him over the back of the head with a wrench. And that actually yeah maybe a public argument things like maturity and responsibility wasn’t a good idea right now.

“Corso, Breony,” Amethald placed her hands on her hips taking up a stance that wouldn’t look out of place on a holonovel cover, And Bea found herself inwardly cringing at the use of Breony , “We got work to do,” And that the way she said that left no room for negotiation so she might as well follow along.

“Oh Captain, I do hope you grace my lowly table with your radiant presence again,” Darmas gave her a smile that was just a little too slick as they left the cantina as he saluted them with a glass.

[clown-bait]

29 Neibolt ST (Monster Roommate AU) CH18

OH WOW LOOK WHOS FINALLY UPDATING! Its been awhile and I need to get the main plot finished before I do anything else with the holiday plot so heres the next chapter. The gang gets take out and bonds a bit over kung pao and entrails. 

CHAPTER 18

Bad cop, Worse cop

“Well while we wait, Leech right? A word please.” the elder clown turned to the vampire. She went to stand and follow him but wobbled on her still busted leg. She would need fresh blood to heal it she had to kill again.

Leatherface helped her to the kitchen and sat her on a chair patting her head with a smile and walking out. Uncle Penny was very quiet it was actually making her quite unnerved. “Alright look this aint easy for me to say-”

“You want me out don't you. What? You worried I'm gonna ruin your little protege or something because he caught a case of the fucking feelings?” she spat claws drawn.

“Will you let me finish? Sheesh you're a little spitfire no wonder the kid likes ya.”

Leech hissed “Fine”

“Junior in there… my nephew…or whatever you want to call it. Look I like that kid a lot alright?” the elder clown began. He seemed to be struggling with this quite a bit “He’s a bit more of a drama queen but he's still a version of me. The kid likes you fangs he likes you a lot. Just be good to him alright?”

“Wait you.. care about him?” Leech instantly dropped her guard.

“Yeah kid, I guess I do.”

“I'm starting to see the relation now, you're both secret softies.” she gave him a devious smirk.

The elder clown grumbled and helped her up. “Don't tell nobody.”

————-

“Chucky does it really matter what we order were just trying to find to information” the female doll reached for her wallet that her husband was going through in search of money to pitch in for their order.

“Look we might as well get some good food outta this Tiff, and I want some of that kung pao.”

“If the doll gets chicken I want noodles” Ash spoke up slamming a $10 on the coffee table

“I'm putting in a request to keep this garlic free.” Leech shouted with a vigorous nod from Dracula.

“C-can I get orange chicken?” Jim poked his head from behind the couch.

“This aint Panda Express Jim they don't got that” Chucky grumbled getting out his own wallet.

“Get the kid sweet and sour pork” Tiff suggested.

“Ask for extra cooOOokiEs!” Penny spoke up jingling his bells as he bounced.

“Ok but do we want rice though?” Freddy called out to the rest of the gang as he repeated their orders

“Don't get it with shrimp I hate their shrimp” Uncle Penny joined in opening his own colorful wallet.

“Leatherface wants egg rolls” the giant excitedly clapped behind Leech and grunted “extra dipping sauce!” she said for him.

“What?! What do you mean you're out of the beef and broccoli what Chinese place runs out of beef and broccoli I'm calling Chin’s at least they have fucking orange chicken!” Freddy hung up the phone and dialed a different number “Hey Ken, its Fred. You got that beef and broccoli yeah?”

“Freddy were supposed to be ordering from the other place so we can find out who has the book.” the gang shouted at him.

“Oh shit. right.”

—————

“Never have I ever…been naked in public.” Chucky stated. The gang were all piled in the kitchen waiting for the unsuspecting delivery person to arrive.

“Oh fuck you.” Leech growled and took a drink along with tiff.

“Wait when did you go naked in public?” Chucky turned to his wife.

“Last girls night got a little uh….it got interesting,,,” Leech trailed off nervously as Penny spit out his drink. (which was just a cup of pure grenadine)

“You did what now?” the younger clown growled.

“Tiff may or may not have killed someone at a spa and then dumped the body at the Quarry” Leech laughed nervously.

“Which led to your brilliant drunk idea to wash the evidence off and hide the body in the lake”

“Look it was nice until that cop showed up! You even said so!”

“Wait you two went on a drunk murder spree and then skinny dipped after?” Chucky looked at both girls in awe.

“Well I had to swim out to the middle to sink the body and there was no way I was going to do that in my nice outfit.” Leech trailed off.

“Shit how come I'm never invited to girls night!?”

“Chucky you're the last person we’d invite to girls night.” Tiff rolled her eyes.

“Am I the first?” Penny turned to Leech excitedly.

“You're the second to last”

“Wait why am I last?”

A knock at the door broke the conversation. The monsters all went eerily silent horrible wicked grins grew on their faces.

“Ash and Jim should go upstairs.” Dracula suggested

“Wait you're not planning what I think you guys are planning are you?” Ash looked at the gang. He was still a good guy despite hanging with villains. Letting them kill some poor delivery kid was a bit over the line for him.

“Go upstairs Ashey” Freddy said clacking his knives on the chair he was in.

“I’m not ok with this”

“Sorry pal, gonna need you to stay out of this one. Bubba help me out here.” Freddy turned to Leatherface who causally walked over to ash and knocked him out cold. Leech snapped her fingers at Jim and pointed at the unconscious man. The poor servant struggled to haul him upstairs. A harder more impatient knock came at the door again. The monsters all vanished out of the room and silence fell upon the old house once more. The delivery girl pushed the door open with an eerie creak. “Um hello? I got a pretty big order here for a mister Kruger?”

The door slammed and locked behind her. She yelped in surprise dropping the bag of food.

“That bitch better not have spilt my chicken” Chucky whispered from the closet.

“Shhh Chucky!” Tiffany hissed.

“Babe I’ve been thinking about that chicken since the phone hung up the craving cant be stopped!”

“I cant remember did you get the white breast meat kind?” Leech whispered from behind them.

“Hell yeah thats the best kind!”

“Nice. I miss Chinese food”

“WILL BOTH OF YOU BE QUIET!” Tiff hissed rather loudly

“Who’s yelling in here? Girl doll, Leech stop chatting!” Penny's head appeared from between the coats

“I wasn't chatting it was Fangs and Chatty Cathy here. Also I have a name clown.” Tiff snarled.

“Yeah don't be mean to my wife Jingles!”

“All of you stop talking! How are you three this incompetent!” the clown hissed

“Hey! I’ve gotten better Pen!” Leech snapped at him, accidentally pulling the coat she was supporting herself with off the hanger and crashing into a broom.

“HELLO?!” the delivery girl called out frantically.

“Leech!”

“I needed something to hold onto! Are you're forgetting that my leg is fucked up!?” Leech hissed at Penny

“Ugh just come here lean on me”

“Aww thanks Pen~”

“Hey love birds shut your traps!”

“Watch your mouth doll!”

The door flung open and the girl shrieked. The monsters seemed slightly caught off guard all looking at one another to make a move.

“Oh hey there…uh you didn't see if the chicken survived did you?’

“You're still on about that?”

“i am craving that kung pao fangs.”

“WHAT THE FUCK WHAT ARE YOU AAAAHHHH” the girl screamed as her head was yanked back and a knife covered finger pressed into her throat.

“Wow you guys suck at this” Freddy laughed as the girl thrashed and shrieked.

“I am injured Freddy, also can you shut her up? I cant hear myself think.” Leech covered her sensitive ears.

“Yeah, yeah I’ll have Bubba tie her up”

“P-PLEASE STOP WHAT ARE YOU-“ the giant grabbed the girl around the waist and carried her away.

The delivery girl was blindfolded and strapped to a chair she couldn't see who was in the room with her but she could hear. Bells jingled around her and something growled.

“Mmmm I must say it is nice to get some take out from time” Pennywise laughed sniffing the girl.

The girl screamed and penny’s claws gripped her shirt sharply yanking her forward. “None of that dear, we just want to ask some questions. Then you can scream all you want hehehe.”

“YEAH LIKE WHY IS THERE SHIRMP IN MY RICE?” a raspy shout came from the living room.

“Alright bad cop my turn” Leech stood up to try to move Penny out of the way but doubled over in pain taking her chair to the floor with her. The clown snarled and released the girl going over to tend to his mate who was raking claw marks into the table.

“You're not going anywhere Leech just sit.”

“Pen I want to help.”

“You’re ruining my table with your helping. Sit.”

“But pen-“

“No buts Leech!”

The two monsters began to bicker and Dracula casually walked over to the poor delivery girl undoing her blindfold and gag. “You will have to excuse my associates my dear, they can be quite barbaric in their ways. Now, we have a few questions for you about your place of employment if you answer well things might turn out for the better for you.”

“W-what do you want to know?”

“YOU BREAK THE TABLE ON A WEEKLY BASIS PEN!”

“YEAH I BREAK THE TABLE! ITS MY TABLE TO BREAK NOT YOURS!”

“Pardon me for a moment dear” the elder vampire turned to the arguing pair. “*AHEM* WILL THE BOTH OF YOU EITHER REMOVE YOURSELVES TO A ROOM OR QUIET YOUR SHOUTING?”

The couple stopped immediately.

“……D-did you just tell us to get a room Drac?”

“Do you not think I am capable of making such remarks? I do live with Fred Kruger.”

“This is taking too long” the clown marched over to the girl grabbing her throat with his claws.

“WHERES THE BOOK?”

“I-I-I-I…”

“TELL ME!”

“Penny she cant speak because you're literally breaking her windpipe”

“Don't tell me how to intimidate my victims Leechie! Stop back seat scaring.”

“Hey I'm just calling it as I see it Pen”

The clown snarled at the nosferatu his claws making small cuts in the girls neck as he glared at his mate. “Your beloved is right clown she's no use to us dead” the elder vampire stated. Pennywise huffed and released the girl who began coughing and crying. Leech inhaled sharply and pushed herself up using her anger to mask the extreme pain in her leg and gut. She stumbled over to the girl and cupped her face. the elder vampire and clown watched on with interest.

“Girl, listen. We need to know if any of your coworkers meet the description of hair gel and revenge obsessed. Probably someone new in town, carries around a creepy looking book”

“T-theres A-Adam I g-guess… He doesn't seem revenge obsessed he seems rather nice really. Will you let me go now p-please?”

“See Pen? You just gotta get straight to the point and- Wait…wh-what was that name?” Leech’s eyes darkened and her blood ran cold

“A-Adam”

Bones cracked in the vampires shoulders and she pulled her hands away staring at her blood covered fingers and back at the girl. “Huh….that… thats interesting….”

“Apprentice, isn't that the name of-“ the elder vampire was cut off by Leech’s soft laughter that grew louder and frantic, her voice splitting into something demonic till the nosferatu doubled over and began shrieking.

“HAHAHAHA SEE YOU CANT HELP IT EITHER!” Pennywise shouted to her beaming with victory as his mate gave into a frenzied bloodlust.

“It seems she's been picking up your mannerisms clown” the elder vampire said to him.

“Birds of a feather.” Pennywise chuckled to himself as leech’s limbs stretched and dislocated. The nosferatu’s face changed to the large eared skeletal bat monster and her claws clacked against the kitchen tiles. The creature charged the delivery girl grabbing her face and tilting her head back. She frantically licked the cuts on her victims neck with greed and when the girl screamed Leech roared back at her in her face. The nosferatu bit down into the girls collar and began to shake her head side to side like a shark cutting out a large chunk of flesh. Pennywise grinned and let out an involuntary purr.

“Ah would you look at that! She's come so far. You must be proud of her.” Dracula said to him looking on like a father at his daughter’s graduation.

“Very.” Penny smiled dreamily. The elder vampire patted him on the shoulder and tipped his hat moving to join the rest of the house having dinner on the couch. Ash came downstairs rubbing his head going to the kitchen to fashion an icepack when he saw the murder scene unfolding in the kitchen

“What the hell happened here?”

Leech sniffed the air a chunk of flesh hung from her mouth. She turned to the human and lunged at him screeching, Ash quickly drew his shot gun and took aim. Before anything bad could happen something grabbed the vampire by the ear and sat her down. Whoever it was spoke to her harshly in Romanian and Leech felt weirdly compelled to obey turning back and landing in a squatting position.

“You need to show me how you did that vampire.” Penny turned to Dracula in earnest.

“What was I just doing?” Leech shook herself in a haze.

“You got triggered!” Freddy shouted with a mouth full of noodles. “Some guy named Adam has the book and you freaked out.”

“WHAT?”

————————

Gasp what a twist. Not really but I’m excited to reveal Adam the vampire to you all and the real reason Leech left him. Also Dracula shouting at night creatures to sit the fuck down in Romanian like he does with the wolf in Bram Stokers Dracula. PS: Don’t break Pennywise’s table.

[westallen4everlove-blog]

The fair

Team flash walked around, waiting for something to happen. 

Barry, who was already in his suit, waited for anything, just anything to come up because he was starting to sweat in all that leather. 

“Guys? think maybe it’s nothing bad happening today?” Iris asked. Barry nodded and gave it some thought. 

“Hell no, have you been in central city? everyday there is some sort of damn threat!” Cisco threw his hands up in the air and walked towards the computer.  “We just have to wait”

Wally and Iris both shared a familiar glance. “You know...maybe it’s no bad guys today! maybe the police can handle it” Wally smiled. 

“I agree with wally, Maybe we should just have a day off, we cant save the world“ Barry stated wrapping his hand around his now  wife’s waist. 

Iris smiled. “yeah”

Cisco stood up in utter shock. “Oh please, did Barry Allen just say we cant save the world? damn, wooow ,Okay, so if there is nothin to do, what do we do?”

“Yeah, what do we do?” Julian said. Suddenly the others looked. 

“I thought you were at work...” Barry told Julian. 

“Um...I was wondering the same thing about you but.. otherwise I am off today Allen”

Iris smiled. “Maybe we could go out! to a fair, or amusement park” She looked at Caitlin who also started to smile. 

“That would be really fun iris, I’d love to do that!”

The two girls looked at the others for approval. “Well..i suppose” Cisco said. 

-- 1 hour later ---

“WE HAVE TO GET ON IT!” Iris and Caitlin shouted. 

“HELL NAW I aint getting on that 300 foot drop!”

“Hey if anything goes wrong I could save you, or go back in time” Barry said. Iris and Caitlin gave barry a warningly look before they began to differ. 

“Although that is true I doubt the speed force has any more patience with you Barry” Caitlin walked to cisco and smiled. “Its gonna be fine”

Cisco took a deep breath and looked at iris. “Man, you gotta help bro”

“Fine, me and cisco will go to the haunted house while you guys  do the 300 foot-”

“Hell. No”

Barry moved to iris. “You are not going anywhere without me, you are my wife iris , we stick together !you never what type of crazies are out there iris” Barry suddenly placed a wrist band trapping his and iris hands together. 

“BARRY”

“I love you too” Cisco, who was trying to hold his laugh moved away slightly. 

“HAUNTED HOUSE YALL” The others sighed as Julian, Wells, and Joe went along. 

As they slowly entered the haunted house Iris grew prefunded of the fact she was stuck to Barry, getting slightly nervous herself. 

“Um, guys” Caitlin pointed towards the drop, and the ‘bridge’ that barely had anything to step on. 

“This is lit” wally stated. 

Iris swallowed hard. “Um, barry, Caitlin something we can do or?”

“We got this” Cisco moved his hand up to make a portal when wells slapped him in the wrist. 

“WE ARE IN PUBLIC”

“I..Barr are you sure we can get across safely?” Joe asked. Julain nodded in agreement. 

“Come on guys! we are team ...you know, we can figure this out” Iris said. Beofre the others could agree a hugs clown came behind them with an aux. 

“OHHH HOLY SHIT” Barry and Iris held on to each other and literally ran so fast they were already on the other side.  breaking the wrist band. 

“FUCK” Caitlin used her ice powers and made a bridge while the others ran across. 

“what the hell is that?” Julian asked. Luckily the clown was fake, that way no one could know who they were. 

Meanwhile Barry and iris were in some dark corner clinging to each other for dear life. 

“What the hell was that mate?” Julian asked. 

“Barr, what the hell you went so fast net thing I knew yall were gone” Joe rubbed his forehead with his napkin. 

“ I-I am sorry, I just don't like...we don't like clowns” 

Barry and Iris , who still looked terrified finally sat up. “were okay”

“The hell? you left us out there to die” Wells stated. 

“I am sorry, I just got freaked out” Caitlin bowed her head down and looked towards the ice bridge she made. 

“Lets keep moving”

--

Soon enough they reached this part of the ‘haunted’ house that looked very confusing. Mirrors, haunted house with a house of mirrors...

“Oh shit” Cisco said. the lights were decreasing, and the amount of visibility decreased along with it. 

“ barry?! Barry I cant see!!” Iris panicked worrying she would get lost. ‘Okay, stay calm, its team flash right’ she thought. 

“Barry? where are you?”

“Iris? IRIS?”

“DUDE KEEP YOUR VOICES DOWN” Cisco added. 

Next thing iris knew she had bumped into something. “Oh barry I thought I-”

The thing she looked at was yet another clown with red glowing eyes. this time, IRIS FREAKED. 

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...”

“IRIS?” Barry quickly ran only to run into clear  walls. “Iris, are you okay?”

The others just said yellow lighting all over and started to get worried. 

“BARRY CALM DOWN” the others tried to move fast enough to find each other, then suddenly the lights came back on. 

“Iris?!” barry called. he looked around and did not see her. 

Iris sat down against one of the glass walls, and breathed. “Its not real” she told herself. She was not going to look back up, in the fear of seeing another damn clown. 

Iris?” barry sped over to iris and comforted her. “what happened”

“IT WAS A FUCKING CLOWN BARRY” she said. she laughed slightly at herself. 

“Gosh, I made myself look so stupid” she commented. 

“Iris, you are one of the strongest people I know, and trust me, being slightly scared of a freaky creepy ass clown is nothing” Barry pecked her on the lips while the other eventually caught up. 

“Ready?” Julian asked. 

---

The other finally made it of the last part, a  two deep dark slides.

“Um....” Joe said. Wells, and him shared a glance. 

“I love slides” Iris said Happily. 

Barry smiled and moved towards her with another kiss. 

“Alright, should not be bad right? who is going first?”

Everyone looked around. 

“I will” Iris and Caitlin both said. they two smiled and each went down the slides. 

The boys did not hear any screaming and figured it was fine. 

“Okay, lets go next”

Meanwhile iris and Caitlin were taking selfies and talking about how awesome and cool the-

“AHHHHHH” Barry and Wally screamed. 

They heard the others scream as well and laughed. Eventually them all coming out. 

“that was ...fun” Wells commented. 

a little later they saw two 10 year olds coming out saying ‘That was not scary at all’.

“So team, flash.. ready for another house to go in?” Caitlin asked. 

“lets go inside the house of mirrors.” Iris replied. 

The others liked this a bit better, if barry would just stop running into the damn thing. 

--

“So, that was really fun” Iris commented. Barry smiled as they all waved their goodbyes and went home from star labs. 

“Yea, that was fun, but I know something that is wayyy more fun” Barry moved slowly on top of iris.

“Really, like what?” she asked grinning. 

“Oh trust me, this will defiantly surprise you” He smirked and moved towards his wife, Concluding the best day ever, next to their honeymoon of course. 

---

Thanks for reading!! 

[stormpainter]

==> Make up

Today at 3:51 PM wickedpainter hey

carnivalsorphans hey sorry i made ya upset. wickedpainter yeah

you okay?

carnivalsorphans i've been worse wickedpainter that aint an answer

carnivalsorphans the answer don't matter much just yet. you okay? wickedpainter shit matters to me. I aint as upset as last night

carnivalsorphans i still ain't really knowin what got ya upset. i mean, i know what made ya upset, i get that somethin bout me sayin i don't want you and lilac ta get together weren't right, but i don't know why. wickedpainter mm I dont talk to people much dont got many friends no lovers to speak of even if I did I might be upset about someone tryina dictate who I can and cant be attracted to, who I'm allowed to get close with

carnivalsorphans ... i'm sorry. can see how it'd be a bigger deal for you than it is for me. wickedpainter yeah I actually care bout people

carnivalsorphans ... i was more talkin on how i got a fuck ton of lovers so it don't matter to me if two or three are removed from the list ... but yeah. i guess that too. wickedpainter all I've got is vel, tars grey ace

carnivalsorphans i'm. sorry. wickedpainter which is why we were in pale for a while, cause he doesnt do the sex, but my best friend's mates ace too so it just. It aint a big deal I'm bein dumb

carnivalsorphans didn't. mean ta make ya all upset. was probably gonna tell ya soon if lilac didn't. wickedpainter yeah I gathered that shit

carnivalsorphans it had come up cuz i fucked his ex. and shit got... weird. wickedpainter whys it matter to anyone who someone sleeps with

am I supposed to avoid any motherfucker you sleep with cause I'm gatherin thats everyone

carnivalsorphans no!

carnivalsorphans i just. got a thing bout non fuckin quads and fuckin quads mixin. if sugary was able to fuck, i'd feel uneasy on you sleepin with her too. and. ... i mean, it ain't a fuckin end of relationship deal. it just makes me uneasy. and i was tryinna get lilac ta see it was alright ta have a few nos if it poisons the relationship for me ta be plowin people. like his ex. so i had ta figure someone to put on the list. ... and it just. makes me uneasy ta have quads overlap. specially fuckin and non fuckin. but that's the reason i hate when kankri sticks his nose in mine and lilac's business, and why i'm stayin away from vel like he's the damn plague. and why i fuckin leave the room any time lilac or val talk about fuckin eachother.

carnivalsorphans and. it's just my pan fuckin up. and i'm sorry. wickedpainter ..sounds like some shit we ought to jam on sometime

carnivalsorphans ... i was plannin on it. i just. don't always remember shit too well. and lilac's fuckin stupid, and it seems like half the problems we have are involvin sex, and it's... weird, a bit, ta me ta talk to you bout my sex life. so it just. hadn't come up yet. wickedpainter look I aint got a lot of people I know an the only clade I ever observed that was any kinda healthy, an I know mine aint, everyones quaddin everyone else, an they just fuckin, let serendipity do its thing

what alls happened upsets lilac bout sex an you?

carnivalsorphans motherfuck that's a tangled mess of fuckery.

carnivalsorphans ... it feels like submission, for me ta bottom. so i don't do it often. gotta like... trust a motherfucker, before i'm up to it. but i got ta trustin lilac, and i wanted it ta be... earned, i guess. fun. a challenge. so i told him he could fuck me if he beat me in a fight. and then that whole shit storm with kankri and sugar sis happened, and before that i was considerin let kankri go down on me, and i figured i might as well do it as a show of trust since i was thinkin on it anyway. then HE gets it into his head ta fuckin TEASE ME bout how sensitive i am on it and how it makes me color, like it's the funniest goddamn thing, which really pisses a motherfucker off to be gods damned honest.

and then lilac gets upset about that. fucks off a while. next time we fight, he don't try so hard. then there's two of him, and they win, and they just have me tie em up.

then i fuck his ex, and apparently his ex cheated on him with one of his abusive alts and lied at him and a buncha shit, and he got upset, and then just. that whole conversation, bout boundaries and shit happened. and i had ta fuckin make him trust me at fuckin all for him to even tell me what the hell was goin through his pan.

and the whole thing with red ain't really been resolved but i ain't touchin him with a ten foot pole. and i know it bothers him when i sleep with val, but he fuckin INSISTS it don't matter, despite the fact he said yesterday he's got a thing for overlappin quads too.

and now, even though i've flat out fuckin told him, asked him ta fuck me before, he goddamn panics and gets all anxious about it cuz he fancies i ain't actually wantin it, i just wanna make him feel good. and it's just. goddamn he's stupid.

carnivalsorphans we've probably got in spats about four or five times by now. and it's all goddamn tangled in trust and boundaries and him not wantin to set em and me makin a big deal of how exactly i want gettin plowed to go down and relationships and.

carnivalsorphans plus i got kankri tryinna play clubs any time i just ask him for a lil advice on how the fuck lilac even thinks cuz i can't figure him out, and then lilac's talkin on bein ganged up on and i didn't even really want him to be involved at fuckin all. becuase he's a nosy little busybody who ain't got any damn sense of where his words are and aren't welcome. wickedpainter it aint so bad, layin out rules at the beginnin about what each session oughta be like. me an vel gotta negotiate sometimes, cause both us got fucky pans but we aint do somethin if we promise not to

hes prolly mistakin you gettin pissed about bein teased about somethin private for bein ashamed of a thing you aint wanna really do

I was gonna say you might wanna get an auspistice but definitely shouldnt be his rail, an it sounds like he dont feel like hes gettin heard a lot

also maybe don fuck valor just to see if you can get him to use his words and tell you to stop, unless you two are real sweet on each other or somethin

carnivalsorphans yeah, but it seems like lilac is so fuckin caught up on how bad he'd feel to put limits on me, he don't realize i don't give a fuck. and that if i don't got boundaries, i push limits until i find some.

we'd had a weird language dispute and i had said 'i'm willing but not ready' and i'd meant my bulge bein out and he'd thought i meant for nook things. and we ended up gettin in the biggest goddamn fight and now i think he's too damn antsy ta think on it no matter how much i tell him i really do want it. now i'm just... waitin for him ta realize it's fine.

we might wanna get an auspistice, but i can't think of who. and i DEFINITELY don't want it ta be valor. and i ain't fucked valor since the first big fight, even though we said we would since gam said he didn't mind. we got lots of overlappin interests, but honestly i get the feeling he'd fuck anyone with paint, and i got no shortage of lovers. plus his empathy makes me uneasy cuz i like bein private.

carnivalsorphans valor pisses me off honestly, he's just. fuck, he's annoyin. get the feelin he's tryinna lord over me and keep me all controlled every time we talk.

carnivalsorphans and any time i get upset anywhere he can see, he starts pryin real hard and bein all public bout it. wickedpainter communication is real important but usually I'm communicatin to vel not to bite my bulge off cause I like my bulge, so I aint got the kinda experiance you need to help with that shit

..tell Kankri you got a fuckin moirail publicly

carnivalsorphans hahahaha fuck yeah. fuck i don't know why i was so damn worried bout talkin at ya, i'm just. i love ya so much, brother, i'm sorry. wickedpainter love you too, an I appreciate that you apologized an accept it

carnivalsorphans OH. AND FUCKIN.... THAT NIGHT I WAS GODDAMN PANICKIN, VALOR TOLD ME HE LOVED ME AND TRIED TA GET ME TA SAY IT BACK AT HIM. and just. messiahs damn him, there was a bitta misunderstandin but he just really wanted ta feel all ~cared about~ and like he ~mattered to me~ and he chose the fuckin night i was panickin and had ta get picked up by you to get all expectant at me ta say it.

carnivalsorphans and like. i do care bout him. my alt banned him from his church, but he's still faithful enough ta see tragedy, and he painted up for the funeral and gave em a sacrifice and shit.

carnivalsorphans so he's just as much family as any other faithful. but god damn he pisses me off so damn much. wickedpainter :o/

the fuck is he doin professin love like that he aint even a quad?

carnivalsorphans i think he's just the ~lovin~ type. and for him, lovin means bein up my ass all the time. could find the log if ya wanna see it. wickedpainter later I think, I aint gonna go confront him

Motherfucker needs to learn not everyones got the same feelins he does

carnivalsorphans lilac's told me he ~likes~ me, but like.... he don't. it don't... it don't feel the same. he just. he's so damn affectionate, and it's... so much different from how She used ta be.

carnivalsorphans and i... i don't love him. not like i love you. but i'm fond of him, like i'm fond of vel, and i wanna... wanna make shit work. wickedpainter I dont got much to base pitch shit on but me an vel an I know we're not healthy, but I think you an him'll work it out

carnivalsorphans .... i don't know what 'healthy' is supposed ta be, really. just know what my pusher tells me. and my pusher tells me he's... not a challenge, not really, cept in the way that he'll call me out if i'm bein 'bad'. but he just. .... he's a makara. and i wanna look out for him. and i wanna see him get better, and come into the faith, and come into himself. and he's fuckin SABOTAGIN HIMSELF along the way, and fuck if that ain't annoyin. and i had ta tell him my name weren't ringleader. he's so damn absentminded, it pisses me off. ... but he's real sweet too. just... it's. different. and it's nice. wickedpainter Mm. I love vel. did you know that shit?

carnivalsorphans yeah, i figured ya did. he seems ta like sayin it when he's doin rude shit or gonna bite you. wickedpainter lovin an hatin can happen at the same time, an I hear a lot of motherfuckers think thats what pitch ought to be like

he gets ..real chipper when hes manic, an when hes manic hes stabby

carnivalsorphans i. feel uneasy sayin 'love' when it ain't.... i don't really feel THAT romantic for him. i don't feel romantic for just bout anyone. cept you. and.... her. wickedpainter he apologized to me last night, seemed to think it was him sayin stuff that caused the fight and not that stuff was done

carnivalsorphans he does that. wickedpainter I hadda bug off though cause I wanted to say shit I shouldnt

carnivalsorphans thinks everythin is on his shoulders

carnivalsorphans ... what sorta shit? wickedpainter he said he aint never seen you worry about anyone the way you were gettin worked up about me an I told him polite like I needed to go

I werent

good last night, all kinda destructive impulses

vel coaxed me out huntin so I could kill somethin

carnivalsorphans i was all fuckin worried on ya, didn't know how ta help and i knew ya weren't good. wickedpainter and I didn tell him its cause you dont feel as strongly for no one else

carnivalsorphans ... think it's probably sorta obvious. wickedpainter it aint somethin I should say to him though

carnivalsorphans ... i love you. love you more than i got words ta say in all the languages i've learned. wickedpainter is it showtime yet? I caint keep my hours straight

carnivalsorphans not even close. wickedpainter you where I can curl up on you or busy?

carnivalsorphans i can get where you can curl up on me. wickedpainter 'd like that fora while

carnivalsorphans i'd move mountains for ya, i can sure as fuck find a private place ta be cuddled at. wickedpainter <>

..magine we both had bad nights, I'm sorry for it

carnivalsorphans <> <> <> ... i just. chilled with lilac, like ya said. didn't get a bitta sleep, but it ain't like that's unusual. ... worried overmuch, perhaps. but that ain't too unusual neither. wickedpainter good on the stayin with him

didnt want you to be alone with me pissed

carnivalsorphans i've been alone plenty. i just... ... i missed ya. a lot. wickedpainter missed you too, my head aint always easy to deal with

carnivalsorphans you ain't never seemed so upset at me that we couldn't talk. and i was fearin the worst. specially since you weren't even that mad bout me not gettin on with tarrat.

carnivalsorphans ... lilac finally just now told me he don't want me ta do shit with his ex, and he thought it'd make me mad. gods he's an idiot. wickedpainter what'm I gonna do shove you against each other an force you to have tea partys?

lilac needs to fuckin learn boundaries are okay

carnivalsorphans dunno. that'd probably be pretty funny. wickedpainter ..and an ex who was actual shit an horrible aint the same as what I was mad about

picturin you in a lil dress now

carnivalsorphans ;o) i'd look great in it you gonna be picturin tarrat in it too? wickedpainter ..no cause he'd get upset with me if I pictured him inna dress

you know how many fuckers toldt him he needs to be more feminine or that he aint a boy?

carnivalsorphans ... it alright if i just. ask ya, if ya ever have sex with any of the people i'm quadded with in the future, ya just. don't tell me bout it? haha, i'd be glad if ya got laid, but. wickedpainter :o* yeah I'll make sure you dont hear nothin from me on it

carnivalsorphans it ain't like i think you're asexual or anythin. you're pretty as shit and i was thinkin bout seein what you was comfortable with before we went pale. just. wickedpainter you think I'm pretty?

carnivalsorphans yeah :o) goddamn gorgeous.

carnivalsorphans nothin about you that ain't beautiful. wickedpainter gonna make a motherfucker blush

lemme know when I can come over

carnivalsorphans now~ gonna kiss you all over wickedpainter :oD

carnivalsorphans and see that pretty blush for mine self wickedpainter >Get your butt over there to have make up cuddles.

carnivalsorphans and then i'm gonna pap it > CUDDLES!!! You pretend you're not being as clingy as you most definitely are, and you are almost instantly purring.

[survivormuxloe]

Episode #1 & 2: "so that was fun, and by fun I mean hell" - Ahrre

So I'm so confused right now lol. Like I feel like discord should have a similar format to skype, but maybe I'm just dumb and cant figure it out. Also the only people I know/heard of are on the other tribe which is fun. Hopefully I can set myself up so my lack of understanding Discord doesn't make me look like a liability to the rest of my tribe.

we legit just got into our tribes.. missus sweyn.. LOL. i legit don't know ANYONE!! APART FROM MY BABY RYAN!! LIKE WHO ARE THESE PPL? liek i've heard of rhys and malik from like other orgs but the other people like god.. why can't I just have my circlejerk like in emvv. ): and idk WHO IS EVNE ON THE OTHER TRIBE WHICH MAKES IT WORSE I COUD HAVE LIKE A BUNCH OF RLY STRONG PLAYERS who are gunna win every single immunity challenge.. and i ain't wantin to go premerge nnn. uhm. ya. thats my mood rn. Xo

Oh wow, hi it’s me, Mo. I’m going into this game with an advantage of not having a social life so I can be more active. I like my tribe so far everyone’s really nice. I only know Fabricio because he won the game I got PoTS on. But I think I’m going to withhold that information of him winning his last game because I kinda wanna be allies.

First impressions of my tribe, they’re pretty cute I guess I like people well enough but I’m always nervous about pre existing relationships people may have in other communities so that’ll be fun to manoeuvre around my plan is just to lay low be social and hopefully not stick out as a target

deadass the challenge has barely started and wes already has 2 images.. meanwhile his ass has prob spoke in the tribe chat like once and he aint comin in  my pms anytime soon so. LAMJHNFG . better hope his social game saves him over the physical x

this is my 3rd one already but this is important. linus is the first person to say haha to me. TWO! FUCKING! HA'S!!!!!! JUST SAY LOL!!!! SAY LMAO!!! IDGAF!! Omg this is geniunely my pet peeve and i wanna scream a a a a a  a a a a a  aa

Man, I'm back with Tobi from Survivor Ko Chang and that scares me to death. He claims he wants to start on a clean slate with me and work together again, but I don't trust him one bit and the first opportunity I have to take him out, I'm gonna do it, cuz I can't have somebody like him around. Bad for my game.

On the other hand of the spectrum, I know Michael from Zwooper and we've always had a good relationship so I think that's one person I can fully align with right out of the gate. I've also worked up some social connections with Dani, Jose and Ahrre so far, and they all seem pretty chill for the most part.

Right now, my focus is to win. I'm gonna go hard in this first immunity challenge and rack up as many points as I can. Losing the first challenge always sucks and I wanna make sure that doesn't happen for me again.

Okay im like mad excited to play this game. One Ive been kinda down, and this should help me be able to invest my time into something and potentially help me feel better.

Seeing this cast. I love it. I have really only worked with Felix in a past org before but we havent talked in ages. So I dont have any past connections which feels great because I hate people assuming were working together because were friends?. So this wont happen this season which is great.

So far my tribe is okay. Havent had a chance to speak alot to everyone yet. However the people I have done are alright. So far my favorite person is Scott or Scooty Toots. Hes British as well as me, he's 18 and we're both starting University without a clue what were doing. Like twins?!? So hopefully he feels the same way about me too.

Alliances are key. I want to make a few smaller ones to form a majority for me. Like two allainces of three. Giving me 4 allies. Not sure if this will happen soon or not, but its my goal to take control of this game, as Ive never done it before. I dont want to come across as controling however so smaller groups is the way to do it in my head.

Omfg y'all...... The game started like maybe 16 hours ago and I have barely spoken to most of my tribe bc I was a lil busy last night & had some damage control to handle in EMVV but like..... ??? I already found the idol in the Play Room CTFUUUU. We fucking stan. I immediately told my son Scooty because he's my bae.... I haven't had my hands on an idol in an org since like...... 703 San Marcos when I was voted out w it in my pocket (i think?? i cant remember any others so..) so BEST BELIEVE I'm going to use this correctly. THAT IS MY MAIN MISSION. I'm craving that satisfaction of a successful idol play...... I would love to cross that off my imaginary org goals list..... BUT WHEW I'M PUMPED.

I am making a pact with myself to not be an overly annoying gamebot this season because I just wanna have fun with it and make it a chaotic season, and this lil buddy is gonna allow me to be as extra and messy and turbulent as I please <3 big dick energy

Helloo so here I am doing this org thingy so you're stuck with my thoughts of regret until I die, or you could just not read them that's also an option.

Anyhow god save the queen blabla after more time that it should've taken me I get that I'm in one of two tribes of 9 which is kinda good because with snaller tribes I feel lime everything is more claustrophobic and shit hits the wall the moment we lose a challenge. But with 9 players imo I feel more relaxed.

So summary of who am I stuck with, there are a few who I know from before so let's start with that.

First off Jose, already played an org with him and we were good allies so my first instinct was to call him a bastard and hey he took it well so hopefully it will be a smooth sailing with that lad.

But after Jose I don't expect the meta to be kind to me.

Michael and Mo were both in my last org and I blindsided them both. Tbh they were good allies until that point so I'm more than willing to work with them in this game, hopefully they feel the same way.

But anyhow then there's Felix who I think I technically played with? We meet during a merge and he went out early without us ever talking much so really this is gonna be my first time really playing with him, he's the only one that I haven't talked to yet though I hope he gets online.

Then there's Tobi. I've heard of him and from the get go he strike me as a very straight shoot-y player. Those are always interesting to play with so let's see how that goes.

There's Dani, she seems nice and compared to Tobi she seems more social instead of strategy focused but then again it's been one day and I'm talking out of my ass.

Then there's jaylen who seems nice aswell even if I haven't talked much to him.

And finally David the absolute unit, and I say that bc he instantly started focusing on the challenge, which is a breath of fresh air plus he's Canadian so what's not to like thus far.

Talking about the challenge I get anxiety by just looking at it, scavenger hunts are always hard for me bc I live with people and I want them to remain thinking I am a normal member of society so I always need to be sneaky to do this crap, plus I don't have a car or anything so I have to use public transport if I need to go anywhere.

Apart from that well I would like to set up a 5 man majority alliance just to be safe, my only fear is the ever so feared overplaying-doom. But I feel like someone like tobi would jump on that idea pretty easily so I'll have a chat with him about that idea.

Oh and also look at me I remembered to guess for the idol TWO times in a row. I could die this very same week doesn't matter that's already an improvement on my usual gameplay.

Hi since I’m required to do these once an episode, I’ll use this one to talk about my tribe and maybe a few on the other tribe that I saw were on.

Guacamole - They seem fun. I talked with them last night, but our convo went short because we played jack box together. They seem nice though.

Linus - Mix feelings. I can get a completely loyal Linus here, or a cutthroat linus, so I’m kinda wary right now towards him but the vibes I’m getting I don’t think he’s going to be an issue, atleast for now.

Madison/Madisin - She was also at the jackbox last night and I enjoyed her, she was dying laughing at the games and I thought she was funny. So hopefully I get a chance to talk to her today.

Malik - Who? Let’s not talk about that bitch.

Rhys - He literally waits until we’re in a game to talk to me, so I peep it. And you could say I should reach out to him but it’s annoying when I have and he doesn’t do it until we’re in a game together. Boggles the mind. If I can overcome doing that, so can you. But I enjoy our current coversation as of the moment.

Ryan - We just played Mount Olympus together recently and that was a bust for us both. I’m kind of hoping we can be on the same side since it’s been a while since that’s happened. However, Ryan says he just wants to have fun so I don’t fault him if he does crazy things down the road!!

Scooter - I don’t know about him yet. We haven’t talked at all but he seems interesting. Maybe I can give a better opinion when we talk.

Steven - Very hilarious and I’m also intrigued by him. His thinking and way of talking during the jackbox had me DYING I loved it. I think he’s my new favorite new person here so far.

Wes - I only saw him once but we haven’t talked yet so idk what to say. He said he’s from ndims and is an alias of someone, I just don’t know if I know the alias since I was on that site also. But hopefully it could be someone who knows me as Orlando.

Now for the people I know on the other tribe:

Ahrre - I cant stand him too much after our last season of JPORG. He has this self righteous attitude to him and I don’t like it. However, I warmed up to him a bit during the movie times we had been present for awhile back so hopefully if we see each other again, I won’t have that opinion anymore.

Big Tuna aka Danielle - YASSS I love ha! I know her from the Skype minis and she’s amazing. I hope I finally get to play with her for once in a non mini game ❤️

Felix - Felix is a fucking wildcard. I love him, but he has really pissed me off in games in the past, and I’m hoping this one won’t be like those other ones.

Jaylen - A mess but a friend! He plays how he wants and doesn’t care what people thinks or tweaking it to better it but that’s Jaylen for you! Accept it or don’t phew.

Jose - He’s a fucking snake at times LOL but he’s lovely. I wouldn’t mind too much of being on a tribe with him.

That’s all from me for now so hope I stay around longer to see how this season goes!

so the tea is that this tribe is drier than an old lady's pussy and its so hard to talk to these people... there are no personalities... the only people i feel mildly happy talking to are ahhre and jose... and the tea is that both of them asked to be allies w me im like o ok sis lets do this so i have at least like 2 votes i know abt... and i know david from a prior org but thats not really a good thing bc i fucked him over hardcore and like... he knows im a snake LKJHDFSLK I really don't know how to maneuver strategically with this cast butttt ill try my best hehe

Oh wow!! I can't believe I haven't made a confessional yet what a shocker. BUT HI! I'm kind of just trying to get myself acquainted with everyone in the group, I'm not as active as I'd like to be :C but I'm trying my best teehee. On the first night or so Linus, Malik, Stephen, Madison and I played Jackbox games and it was SUPER LIT and We bonded over that and I'm v happy about thatttt. (ofc I already know madison and I already love her but I haven't talked to her in game yet aklsdjf) I just started talking with Scooty today, or Scooty? I might just call him Scooty, ANYWAY yeah we got to talk about how we type similarly and that was nice, we bonded over that and it was littY. I also got to talk to Rhys!! He also seems like a neat guy - I still haven't talked to him a lot but I think he's cool. I honestly don't know who else is on the tribe, Wes and Ryan right? Wes and I talked a little bit, but barely. and Ryan hasn't talked to me at all lmao. Hopefully right now I've made enough connections though. I'd like to make tribe swap so I can meet more people and make friends lololol - wish me luck gang!

I’m getting along with everyone really well so I know I won’t be the first fine at the very least so I just need to lay low laugh and Kiki with everyone and hopefully I can survive for the long term

I’m doing the Scavenger Hunt and knowing me I decided to wait till the last two hours to do everything I can. So now I have an hour and a half to film a bunch of videos

Okay so talking to my tribe Im begining to feel less at ease with them. Mostly because most of them hardly seem to talk. Which dosent bode well for me. Could mean im on the outs and they dont like me. Or that They're all inactive.

Madison seems like the easy boot right now just because like, who?!?. Shes not been around Ive messaged her once and she left me on read.

So Steven had to leave but we still have to do the challenge as if he was competing which PROBABLY means were going to tribal. So ive been working on getting an allaince going. Ive talked to Malik and Brought the Idea of us forming a trio with someone. Luckly he picked Linus because I talk to him aswell. So fingers crossed we can get that going.

I also have a great feeling from Scooty aka scott. So like Hopefully i can get another trio with him going aswell. So then I will be solid untiill a swap.

I do have a concern that Scott and Ryan are close and Malik and Linus are close. More so that I would be their second choice out of the trio if one is made. However thats not going to effect me I dont think this early. So fingers Crossed.

uhm so!! STEVEN QUIT which im rly sad for two reasons. one for him bc i know he wanted to do well and i hope hes doing ok and i geniunely wish the best for him and the other reason is selfish bc i literally.. planted my seeds on him already? like. all that work for nothin. and now we sitting here actin as if madison aint afk and aint gunna submit nothing..

like its the only reason ive done these dumb videos so that i wont be seen as the weak link if we ever lose again almdlddg.. but uhm hopefully my seeds that are in rhys/jones keep me safe bc if madison gets out here i have ryan/rhys/jones to keep me safe.. so im not gonna be that upset if we lose LOL esp bc ik linus/malik r gunna be scary af later on

hopefully we win tho? so i dont have to deal with this stress? i dont wanna relive louvre where i visitted every single premerge tribal except for 2.. even tho i did well hehe uhm. YAH WE’LL SEE :)

I'm kinda bummed that this last challenge wasn't immunity anymore because we smoked the other tribe, LOL. But at the same time, I'm glad cuz I wouldn't wanna lose the challenge after one of my tribe members quit, that'd just be sad as fuck, LOL.

Also, I feel a good rapport developing further between Danielle and I. I feel like her and I can dominate this game together, but I can't get too ahead of myself here. The first couple of rounds are meant to create social bonds and I feel like I've done a good job of that thus far. Only person I haven't talked to is Jaylen and I'm okay with that, cuz if we lose the immunity challenge, he's most likely the first one to go.

Okay, thankgoodness that the challenge was changed to reward last minuet. Because we wouldve gone to tribal.  Maddison is legit missing. I dont even care if we win or loose this next challenge because she needs to go.

So firstly that reward was weird like woo thanks pretty crown but there’s nothing else so I’m thinking that someone else has the clue and my best bet would be jaylen bc he got the Crown Jewels the most important piece. Overall I’m very nervous for this battleship challenge because in my mind it’s mostly luck based so my fate is really out of my hands.

Well, not much honestly but I'm gonna write a confessional for round 1 and stuff so I don't get a strike

The game is going okay I'm trying not to be aggressive talking to people, but just letting people come to me and make conversation right now honestly I'm trying to play UTR since I think considering madison doesn't exist right now I think I'm able to do that TBH. Hopefully it all works out.

I volunteered to do the battleship challenge thing because I have no life and it looked like no one else was gonna volunteer.

I actually know Linus he played with me in Epic SBB in Hell, so that's nice to not be going in with no connections period.

Sorry this wasn't that long but it's something I guess

If we lose probably another confessional will be writen but right now there isn't much to report

I’m for sure feeling a little bit more nervous now because a lot of this challenge is about being organised and teamwork and we could barely have someone sit out so fingers crossed

Heyo so we won the challenge so that was fun, and by fun I mean hell but hey we've got bragging rights, which is pretty much it since unfortunately Steven was medevaced out of da game so even though the other tribe lost they didn't go to tribal.

A bit annoying knowing you did that for nothing but oh well the other tribe seems to be having a rough time by itself with steven quitting and someone (Madison I think) not submitting anything lol

And I say for nothing bc technically we won reward but it was one of those first come first serve things and I only got seved a jpg image so nothing fancy there...

But at least now the next challenge is something where 8 out of 9 people on the tribe don't have to do anything and you bet your ass after that first challenge I'm gonna be one of the 8. David the unit took it upon himself to carry us to victory so godspeed lad.

However this challenge is pretty luck based so I'm saying fuck that I'm not talking my chances.

Following last confessional I talked to tobi about making an alliance and he was onboard, he proposed to have Jose on it which is great since that was my idea anyways, plus I told dani and she was also on board, and to finish up the hipotetical majority of 5 she said he was cool with Michael.

I haven't talked to him yet and Jose hasn't been online but hopefully we should be fine.

Ngl would like to have an alliance with david and felix too, david bc he seems like a total lad with the challenges and Felix because he later told me he felt the most confortable with me.

But regardless hopefully we won't even have to go to tribal (and if we do at least there are other options for the vote)

For now I shall be the dumb cheerleader of the bunch for a game of battleship.

Ahhh, I feel so bad that I lost the challenge for my tribe. I feel like going into a challenge with the weight of the win or loss stacked against you is huge. But I did come REALLY close and my tribe seems to respect that I almost got us the win. I don't think I'll go anywhere tomorrow for tribal, but you never know.

Yesss we won immunity. I’m happy we could after Steven left. They made our challenge a reward for that and we lost but it’s fine because WE WON immunity phew. And it’s all thanks to Wes. So far to me, Madison is looking the easiest vote off right now because I haven’t talked to her and I haven’t seen her so that’s my view on it. The three I talk to the most on my tribe are Rhys, Linus and Scoots. Then Ryan and Guacamole. Then Wes and finally Madison. I hope this game doesn’t pull a JPORG Fitzroy Island, I don’t wanna be screwed over by a random ass tribe swap. But I basically dig my tribe and hope that I won’t be the first to go.

Whew we won?! What. I thought we were gonna fuckin loose. Noah fence Wes.

Sad tings though because Madison is probably going to strike out. Oh well.

Ya boi still hasn’t gone to tribal so stay mad.

It’s fucking gross having to go to tribal council and I can’t be dealing but I seem to have found myself in two alliances with only dani connecting the two so I’m gonna work with dani to ride this middle ground and make it further

I’m going home omfg. I can’t really have a deep convo with anyone, which means I don’t have an alliance even though I’m sure one has been made ugh. I’m gonna focus on surviving this round then seeing what I can get set up next round. Wish me luck whew

I’m pissed because it’s super obvious that the other 7 on my tribe are in a mega tight alliance. Steven was my only alliance in this hole game, and like, he even told me he found an idol and then on his way out he didn’t even slip me the idol??? Can’t wait to be voted out 7-1 because he wanted a souvenir.

So the tea is that ahrre and I made an alliance of 5 which includes him, me, Jose, Dani, and Michael which I think is cute but they are really boring so meh idk I’ll just flip during merge x JDJSJD I’m a messy bitch

ugh i'm so glad we won immunity bc our tribe is already severely lacking in strong members bc Steven left us out to perish and Madison aint shown her face yet... so the numbers getting back to even is great for us <3

Right so unfortunately we lost the battleship game so that means we're heading to the first tribal of the game, fun stuff.

Now as we lost I got the Me-michael-jose-dani-tobi alliance set up. Meanwhile Felix was telling me that for him it was between Jose or Jaylen, since they've been the least active. Understandable but more understandable is that I'm in an alliance with Jose so for me it seems like it's gonna be Jaylen, who I also haven't spoken much with so I don't mind, albeit every tribal we go to before swapping or merging I see it as a potential ally down the line going home, which shucks.

Either way the alliance (and everyone else for that matter) agreed on jaylen, I also told Jose in kind words to get his shit together before he gets sent home but that's pretty much it. I'm gonna try to lay down for now I don't want to bring any unwanted attention to myself.

Hopefully tribal goes well.

Oh wow hi it’s me, Mo. Ok so currently the plan is to vote out Jaylen which I don’t have a problem with, it’s kinda sad because he is actually really nice but somewhat inactive. I’m on my way to get a burger and fries and I’m fucking ecstatic like I’m so fucking hungry it’s stupid. Also watch me get blindsided.

So we went into this chalenge on a high after wining the reward and I was the one who got the most points out of everyone :))). Although I’m nervous this will put a target on my back, I’m happy that I have kind of proven my dominance in this game! After losing the challenge, I’m upset!! This was all luck based which sucks! After that, I started talking more with Felix, David, Michael and Ahree. Within the span of like 30 minutes, I got added to 2 seperate groups. I was like “iiii” because this can get messy fast. Michael is in both of the groups as well so I don’t feel too bad because at least there is someone else in my position as well. I get along with Felix a lot and have had quite a few good convos with him! David seems to want to lead things in the group he made, which is whatever. Keeps the target off of me, especially if we go to tribal again. I expect to make more confessionals throughout the course of the game, usually videos but I’m pretty tired right now haha.

I just took a nap and there's no tribal and I'm always trying my best. My tribe doesn't hate me for some reason even though I sure would. Oh well. I really miss Steven I hope he's okay.

Steven quit half way through this episode. Then Jaylen was voted out 8-1. 

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 10

DAVENFORTH: -Does this university have a gym? It better. Well, Dave is in there. Not that you can see him, there's a heavy punching bag taking quite the abuse. There's flurries of hits, but their source can't be seen.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Watching this. He's here. He's maybe always been here. Crunches nacho slowly, loudly.=

DAVENFORTH: -When the fuck did you even get here-

DAVENFORTH: -Flashes in and kicks the bag, sending it flying into a wall. He lands, huffing, sweating.-

QIRIN: =she comes in eventually, sitting quietly on a bench with her hands open in her lap, watching Sonic the Hedgehog beat up a gremlin.=

HIGHBLOOD: =hands Qirin cheesy nacho chips= :o)

DAVENFORTH: -He hasn't noticed the audience yet, walking over and hoisting the bag up, placing it back on its rack.-

QIRIN: =....thanks. She nods and takes it, not wishing to be the one to disrupt the silence.=

HIGHBLOOD: =loudly crunches chip again=

DAVENFORTH: -Looks up. Oh. He gives a sup nod-

HIGHBLOOD: you tirin already brother, shit just got good =eats more chips and nods at him=

QIRIN: =waves gently. hi, she read the news.=

DAVENFORTH: Nah just didnt realize i had an audience

DAVENFORTH: -Rolls his shoulders and goes back to punching the bag, normally this time. He's putting a lot of effort behind these swings, the impacts very audible in the gym-

-----------

ERIDAN: -Somewhere in the first floor of the university science department, a fish troll has made his headquarters. The door of a lab is thrown open while music plays, if it could be called music. It was muffled and the signal was terribe with static. It was obviously a radio hotwired to pick up whatever far off-planet station that dared to air all the way to Earth. A small sign of life in the otherwise gloomy dark school hallways.- 

ERIDAN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=And-yo5jwko

ROXANNE: -Obviously if she was going to tour around anywhere to distract herself from the stress and danger it would be the science building. It would be like a blast from the past. When Roxanne had still been in school she spent all her time in her campus science department or observatory (good place to study, really quiet.) She walks aimlessly around the empty halls of the first floor peeking in through a window or two until the sound of shitty music gains her attention and she follows it until she is looking in through the open door to the lab.- 

ROXANNE: Huh. -Looks like they were re-purposing rooms.-

ERIDAN: -Repurposing the rooms in a manner of speaking. The tables were lined with Eridan's "meager" collection of assault weapons. Everything ranging from harpoon guns to muskets, photon, and of course, the standard automatic was laid out on display.- 

ERIDAN: -Eridan himself was half sprawled over the professor's desk, having fallen asleep over maps of the Washington battle grounds next to his honest-to-god duct taped radio hull. The source of the static music.- (zzzz)

ROXANNE: -What a hero, what a pro.- 

ROXANNE: -Maybe she should just let him sleep, but tickle her curious at just why he was napping in a slightly redecorated lab while leaving dangerous weaponry about.- ROXANNE: Hm. -She knocks on the frame of the doorway to see if that will wake him up.-

ERIDAN: -SNORTS AWAKE, hunting knife almost instantly in his hand. Maybe he fell asleep with it? He lifts his head to peer blearily around, glasses askew.- zzzuhfuck -Spots Roxanne at the door, eyebrows furrowing until he's giving a mighty stretch at the desk.- 

ERIDAN: oh dammit 

ERIDAN: justa human -yawns toothily, using the pointy end of the knife to scratch at the base of his horns.- wwhats the commotion

ROXANNE: -Yep just a human 8) - 

ROXANNE: -Briefly flinches when he wakes up with a knife of all things.- Jeez ya' expecting certain company with that tooth pick? ...horn pick?

ERIDAN: surprised you aint similar wwise givven your situation -The horn pick feels good actually.... he casually keeps sweeping the blunt end along the wwavvy shape of his horns. The amphibious insectoid that he is, totally half asleep.- 

ERIDAN: mess hall aint this wway if youre lookin

ROXANNE: Man I'd be real dumb if I was lookin' for a bite to eat. 

ROXANNE: Surprise Im here to steal the guns you left out on the table for absolutely basically anyone to come and get. -jabs a thumb at the arms display. Do you get her point.-

ERIDAN: -gives her this LOOK.- wwhat 

ERIDAN: do you think im sendin these folks out there empty handed 

ERIDAN: kinda presumptuous a you assumin im runnin that kinda operation here

ERIDAN: takin is wwhat theyre FOR

ROXANNE: Right right i get that, but no sign in sheet or nothin'?

ROXANNE: Dang its like you got no respect for 'em. -Steps all the way in and eyes the collection close up. Some of these are nice.-

ROXANNE: Also seems dangerous.

ERIDAN: yeah probably thats also in essence the point -rubbing his eyes under his glasses and then reaches under his desk. Time to pour himself a drink.-

ROXANNE: -Picks up the automatic and looks it over, is it in good condition?- ROXANNE: Then you run a risky armory.

ERIDAN: meh -Damn. He has no more cups. Just swings back this rock n rye flavored faygo with a grimace.- 

ERIDAN: -All the rifles are in good condition. It's one of the few things Eridan gives a shit about enough to invest and maintain.-

ERIDAN: run your owwn armory if you wwanna criticize

ROXANNE: If I had plans ta' stick around i might. We could have a whole competition, best arms dealer wins.

ROXANNE: -Puts down the automatic and picks up the harpoon gun, inspecting it in quite the same manner and then aiming it at the opposite wall. Her finger isnt on the trigger of course, but shes never shot one before and wanted to try holding it.-

ERIDAN: run me outta business fine 

ERIDAN: so long as the job gets done -The safety's on and it gleams sharply in the flourescent lighting. A deadly harpoon, especially in the right hands.-

ROXANNE: -Noice. Its got a good weight to it.- Those are the words of someone plannin' on losing. 

ROXANNE: -Turns her head to flash him a small smile.- But like i said not stickin' around to do your job for you.

ERIDAN: yeah -What he's agreeing to, it's not apparent. He's just chugging more faygo, eyes drooping heavily.- mmmmh

ERIDAN: ought to pick one you like or somethin

ROXANNE: Hm? 

ROXANNE: ....Are you just gonna' give me a gun? -How sleepy IS this guy.-

ERIDAN: -fingers are knotted into his hair as he gives himself a massage around the temples- ...fuckin 

ERIDAN: yes i am 

ERIDAN: it aint that goddamn complicated sometimes a request or a question is just simple 

ERIDAN: not wwarrantin the necessity to react like youre batshit insane 

ERIDAN: i already had to deal wwith one a you

ERIDAN: or else just drop it clearly attempts at generosity or concern at you humans just aint wworth it

ROXANNE: Sorry consider me a lil' hesitant around strangers lately. 

ROXANNE: Thanks for the offer though, ill take ya' up on it. -Shes putting down the harpoon gun and taking one of the automatics. sure the spear was cool, but this would be a lot more useful later.-

ERIDAN: -reaching under his desk again. This time pulling out a twinkie, peeling apart the wrapper.- least you got your senses about you -mutters.-

ROXANNE: -Tucks that gun away safe and sound in her sylladex now before turning to watch eridan snack.- 

ROXANNE: So... besides hand out guns an' chug shitty soda brands, what else do you get up to in here?

ERIDAN: i aint in here most instances 

ERIDAN: im out and about runnin the operation a course 

ERIDAN: the fuck else wwould i be 

ERIDAN: besides sittin square wwith my thumb up my ass

ERIDAN: dealin wwith local patrols and organizin scouts for supplies and shit a that nature

ROXANNE: -She shrugs.- 'Dunno what else you would have been doing thats why I asked. 

ROXANNE: -Did they get rid of any of the tech in this lab?-

ERIDAN: -grunts. Nah, they didn't. But they did disembowel the computers for various things. Mainly so they wouldn't be used.-

ROXANNE: -She doesnt care too much about them being gutted, she just wants to look at them. She takes a seat at one of the counter tops and fiddles with the ripped open technology.- Hah. Ya' know its kinda' nice to see that not too much has changed in the sense of the standard open to public campus computers.

ERIDAN: i wwouldnt fuckin knoww 

ERIDAN: i aint gone to no humanclad univversity

ROXANNE: You sure missed out then.

ROXANNE: Human uni. is where it is at.

ERIDAN: -just. Stuffs this whole twinkie in his mouth. Chews balefully.- sounds like its a baised drawwn conclusion but alright

ROXANNE: Oh it absolutely is but its also the damn truth. 

ROXANNE: You ever had a "Week of Welcome" wherever you studied?

ROXANNE: Its crazy let me tell you.

ERIDAN: -fixes her with a dubious frown.- a wweak of wwelcome sounds like the traditionalistic ritual of testin the constitution newwly ascended trolls 

ERIDAN: vvia drowwnin their heads in load gapers and seein if they resuscitate afterwwards

ERIDAN: guess humans got more spine to them than i thought initially

ROXANNE: ......Wowie. 

ROXANNE: Nah we didn't do any of that. 

ROXANNE: It was basically a week of clubs an' academic society groups tryin' to out-do each other with fun or dumb activities.

ROXANNE: You could pet like seven dogs by the library. 

ROXANNE: Or get free pizza or cup cakes for shaking a teachers hand.

ROXANNE: Although sometimes you got to pay $20 to smash a car with a sludge hammer but that was more often around finals.

ERIDAN: so 

ERIDAN: youre sayin there aint some kind of mutilation or murder plots invvolvved 

ERIDAN: not evven a little

ROXANNE: Not usually.

ERIDAN: evven the recreational shits got some bite to it 

ERIDAN: ...huh -sips faygo thoughtfully.-

ROXANNE: Yep. School is a place for petting dogs, makin' the grades, and getting sloshed on a thursday night when you know you have a 8am lecture hall.  

ERIDAN: suppose i relate on some level -hmphs, unimpressed.- 

ERIDAN: but nothin too solid

ROXANNE: Thats okay. Lets agree to leave it as a cultural difference I guess

ERIDAN: fairs fair -sloshes down the rest of this lukewarm faygo. Disgusting.-

ERIDAN: im eridan

ROXANNE: -If its so gross dont drink it.- 

ROXANNE: -She turns around on her stool.- Nice to meet ya'. 

ROXANNE: Im Roxanne.

ERIDAN: uh sure -He DOUBTS it's nice to meet him but accepts this introduction anyhow.- dunno if i ought to point it out or nothin ERIDAN: but you aint lookin like the battlefield type so ERIDAN: noww im wonderin wwhat the shit youre doin taggin along the assassination brigade for

ERIDAN: it aint exactly the equivvalent to pizza and pettin puppies or wwhatevver the fuck

ROXANNE: Ya' aint wrong there. 

ROXANNE: Its kind of a long story. But to summarize why I'm goin' along on this crazy shoot the duo president mission is to make sure the dad of my infant daughter doesnt get himself killed in the process. 

ROXANNE: Plus I got no weekend plans.

ERIDAN: -He understands these words individually and is trying to piece them together into something comprehensible.- so outta obligation to your mate aka the sire a your offspring

ROXANNE: Mmmm, not technically either of those things. 

ROXANNE: But close enough. 

ROXANNE: Derek is my ex, and we adopted a lil' girl while we were still together.

ERIDAN: so it wwas a beforan style cullin ritual 

ERIDAN: wwherein the twwo a you havve obligation ovver some helpless wward 

ERIDAN: all the wwhile ditchin wwhat i presume wwas a romantic entanglement 

ERIDAN: but its enough for you to pledge loyalty enough to head facefirst into the troll davvy jones locker of suicide missions for 

ERIDAN: ...

ERIDAN: wwho the hell is this guy anywway

ROXANNE: Bingo. 

ROXANNE: Derek Strider. You'd know him if you met him. 

ROXANNE: About yay tall -Gestures the height.- kinda' full of himself. 

ROXANNE: Triangle shades.

ERIDAN: oh 

ERIDAN: him 

ERIDAN: .... 

ERIDAN: i dont see it

ROXANNE: -Snrks.- Dont see what? Him being a dad or the relationship?

ERIDAN: wwhy the shit hes wworth you dyin for 

ERIDAN: you aint even invvolvved anymore

ERIDAN: the risks real possible just FYI

ERIDAN: but on top of losin a dad your grubs riskin losin its mom too aint it 

ERIDAN: wway to fuckin go the both a you

ROXANNE: Yeah i know. 

ROXANNE: But hey if we both die then i dont have to tell my baby that her daddy died. -Yes, just smile the real truth away.-

ROXANNE: Nah but... caring about someone can make ya' do crazy shit.

ROXANNE: We may not be together anymore but it doesnt change the fact that I still love him in other ways.

ERIDAN: crazy shit like a plea for attention if i evver fuckin saww it 

ERIDAN: hey blowwhole look wwhat im puttin at risk for you 

ERIDAN: -snorts- bet he dont appreciate it none

ROXANNE: -Snrks.- Even if it was a cry for attention, 

ROXANNE: Which its not. 

ROXANNE: He might appreciate it at least a little.

ROXANNE: Or at least feel damn well guilty when its all over, haha.

ERIDAN: not appreciativve enough to vvalue your grubs livvelihood it dont look like ERIDAN: smfh wwhat do i knoww 

ERIDAN: just got a general sense a wwhat a guardians supposed to behavve to compare it to 

ERIDAN: and i wwas reared by a goddamn skyhorse scrod rest his fuckin soul

ROXANNE: Ya' probably know just about as much about proper parenting as me, to be honest. 

ROXANNE: Still workin' on that whole "Perfect suburban mom" deal.

ROXANNE: But he cares about her a lot. I think he just got his head dragged into this mission.

ROXANNE: Keep hoping he's gonna' snap out of it but maybe its his feelings from how hes about to have another baby with his wife that makes him feel like he needs to save the world.

ERIDAN: -grunts- i guess 

ERIDAN: still a fuckin shame says i 

ERIDAN: pitys gonna only go so far and in the ends its gotta be you and your owwn hide 

ERIDAN: the shit youre invvested in or wwhatever 

ERIDAN: wwardin the grub 

ERIDAN: cant be a bad thing 

ERIDAN: but youre wwastin your fuckin energy expectin anybody to change for you wwho aint done shit to try 

ERIDAN: except ask you to be there and vvalidate you feelin needed or wwhat not 

ERIDAN: makes the cycle addictivve -sighs out, staring off. Time to break out more faygos.-

ROXANNE: Well damn.

ROXANNE: This is some impromptu broken relationship advice or what.

ERIDAN: no -turns to her to deadpan.- its advvice on survvivin past tomorroww

ROXANNE: Oh i know im gonna'.

ERIDAN: the credits goin to you then 

ERIDAN: or him rather 

ERIDAN: hes the one in the front lines aint he 

ERIDAN: suspect much -asks it like a question. Suspect much??-

ROXANNE: Yeah he is. 

ROXANNE: But while derek has a big talk I also know he has the skills to back it up. 

ROXANNE: And I'm mostly tagging along to provide immediate cover for the kill group.

ERIDAN: right... -Sure Jan. He believes you.-

ROXANNE: What ya' dont believe i can do it?

ERIDAN: wwhats it matter wwhat i think 

ERIDAN: im the guy leavvin my wweaponry lyin strewwn about wwilly nilly

ROXANNE: ...... -Chuckles.- 

ROXANNE: Fair point.

ERIDAN: -slorps a new faygo. This one a grape flavored one.- 

ERIDAN: doesnt matter wwhat i say 

ERIDAN: its you and your time and wwho youre puttin it towwards 

ERIDAN: hope you get it back at the end of the day is all

ERIDAN: -says this because he's totally judging you, Rox.-

ROXANNE: -Seriously, How many sodas is this guy going to drink.- 

ROXANNE: -She shrugs. He is free to judge away, the plan is stupid and risky and she knows that by going into it she might die. But if there was anything she could do to help minimize the chance of any more casualties on this suicide run it would be worth it.- 

ROXANNE: Ya' know we've talked a lot about me, but what about you Eridan? 

ROXANNE: I could be wrong but ya' dont seem like the type to be visiting earth to get a load of our, albeit currently dying, culture. Is it the soda brands that caught your attention?

ERIDAN: the only thing wworth a damn to come outta earth if you ask me -snarks but it lacks bite. He just shrugs.- 

ERIDAN: just so happens i got a free wweekend too

ROXANNE: Aww really? Thats all you enjoy about it?

ERIDAN: you got decent pastries i guess -Don't aww at him...-

ROXANNE: Pastries and soda. 

ROXANNE: Well. Everyone's gotta have their favorites.

ERIDAN: sos you 

ERIDAN: it just so happens yours got pointshades

ROXANNE: -HRGH.- 

ROXANNE: Pft... Nah.

ERIDAN: youd die for it so 

ERIDAN: wwheres the fuckin lie tee bee ach

ROXANNE: I'm not going to die for him, because we're not going to die. 

ROXANNE: Also like I said before you can care about someone without them being your favorite.

ERIDAN: guess youre right 

ERIDAN: wwith that logic im layin my life on the line for a mime

ROXANNE: Is the mime your buddy?

ERIDAN: hell no 

ERIDAN: he dont evven like me and frankly i dont care for his foot wwear

ERIDAN: wwho am i kiddin 

ERIDAN: at least its consistant -just B/ at himself.-

ROXANNE: Pfft. 

ROXANNE: Hilarious. Well I havent met this mime but ill be keepin' an eye out for what shoes he's wearing.

ERIDAN: -lowkey fist clenching memes.- youll see it

[wellmeaningshutin]

Short Story #58: Star Material.

Written: 3/6/2017

-Okay, its just right over here. Watch your step, and- Tada!

-Is she dead?

-Oh, yeah, but not that dead. She still seems relatively fresh, you know? And look how gorgeous she is, real bombshell, like that pin up girl level of beauty. I think we may have found our next star.

-Yeah, she does still seem a little warm… And she’s not very pale… but I’m not sure about this.

-Why not? This is the chance of a life time, and all we have to do is pump her full of fluids to preserve her. Formaldehyde, right? We just get-

-No, no, I understand all of that, that’s pretty obvious.

-Well, is it the smell? She doesn’t smell that bad right now, and hell, I can smell the fumes right off of the highway more than-

-No its, not-

-Plus, what if some other talent scout comes driving by, sees her all sprawled in the bushes, just like I did.

-No-

-Knows that she has got what it takes, just like I did. See, you don’t get talent like this just any day, these are like once in a life time kind of looks. If you want looks like these, you have to do some digital editing, like this is a woman who would be great outside of photo shoots, and imagine the television interviews.

-Interviews? She is-

-Yeah yeah, okay, I’ll admit that was a dumb idea. Its not like she could talk, so I guess that angle is completely pointless, but the idea behind it still stands. You know, this girl is so ridiculously beautiful, like I bet a model was probably the one who offed her, just to make sure that she’d never get a shot in the spotlight, and this girl is all spot light, she-

-Dave-

-Designers would have to pay fortunes just to get her to wear their clothes, like she is-

-Dave-

-just really gives “drop dead gorgeous” a whole new meaning, like-

-Will you shut the fuck up already? God. You keep yammering off like that, and we’re just going to be bickering in the heat until she gets too hot and bloated, and then she will never be able to be the hotshot model that you want her to be. If we don’t talk about this rationally, there will be nothing to talk about anymore, and then we’re just going to feel like a couple of assholes, aren’t we? There are problems with you whole plan, and you really need to hear me out on them, because this might not be an opportunity in the first place. We need to figure out, too, if we should or shouldn’t load her into the car, but we have to do it like adults. Don’t look at me like that. Do you agree? Come on, don’t act childish right now, we don’t have time for it. Do you agree?

-Yes, okay, whatever.

-Good. Now, one thing I’m worried about is consent, because I’m not sure if she is able to agree to anything.

-Like, wait. Are you talking about for sex, or just the rights to photograph her.

-I’m talking about both. No, don’t give me that look, I’m not going to be the one getting into bed with her. But you know this industry, and you know that the only way you can get anywhere is by sleeping around. I don’t like it either, but we have to be realistic about the situation that we’re in.

-Jesus.

-Jesus couldn’t survive in the fashion industry, so leave him out of it. Shit, the trendiest thing he’s been able to do was with all of the crosses that you see on clothing, but the Romans are more responsible for that than anything. They existed way before him, they had the style already, Christ just gave them his celebrity endorsement. Doesn’t mean he looked good on one, just means he got the word out about it.

-What does that have to do with the girl?

-Sorry, thanks, I was getting a little off topic. But, she really is going to have to put out if she wants to achieve that start potential of hers, but only at the beginning, just so she can get her career going. Now, we need to figure out if she is able to consent, because it could be a whole rape situation, and that’s a rather big turn off. Nobody wants to sleep with a girl who could turn around and accuse them of rape.

-Well, I don’t think she’d be able to accuse them. I don’t think she’s able to do anything except to lie there and stay beautiful.

-Okay, yeah, you have a point there. But I guess family members or feminist groups could come out of the woodwork, just to threaten this good thing we have going here. I guess the threats could exist in that sense, but, now that I think of it, if we just kept it hush hush, there would be no way for those people to know and get all of their grubby hands onto our operation.

-Why would feminist groups care? What business is it of theirs?

-I don’t know, but you know they just like to stir up needless trouble anyways. They tend to blow every little thing out of proportion, and even something as small as the situation with our potential model could set them off into some hysterical rage of theirs.

-Ugh.

-Yeah, I know, but like I said we just have to keep it quiet I guess. That problem kind of worked itself out.

-You’ve been talking for a while now, I’m starting to think that you just wanted to shut me up so that you could dominate the conversation. I’m the one who found her, and we wouldn’t even be having a discussion if it weren’t for me, so-

-Actually, I’m the one who turned it into a discus-

-See! There you go again! You’re just trying to silence me so-

-Alright, alright, say what you have to say.

-Now, law and all of that, we could just have our lawyers on it so there’s really no need to worry about it anyways. One big area of potential I see with her, is one thing that seems like it could be a big disadvantage. She’s very pale, right? Now, what if, when she was getting a lot of traction, we started to allow different cosmetic companies bid for the right to get her all dolled up. Like, she could be a blank canvas for their products, and they could get all the credit for making her look so alive, so beautiful. And then all sorts of sales would come in, because, you know, people would start to think, “Hey, if they could turn a corpse into the most beautiful person in the world, then think of what they could do for me!” I know, you don’t have to say it, she’s already stunning without the layers of gunk, but they won’t know that. And they’ll also think, “Wow, because of whatever cosmetic company, she was some sexy male celebrity’s date to the Oscars, maybe it could do the same for me.” So like, basically, we could really help out their advertising, get their sales up, and line our own pockets at the same time.

-Wait. What was that part about her arriving as somebody’s date to the Oscars.

-Yeah, well, she’ll clearly become a star, the ultimate cover girl. Plus, if you think about it, she’ll never, ever, get old, so who knows how long she’ll stay in the industry? She’ll outlive all of the new talent that comes in, and there’ll be no way of stopping her-

-Now, I want to point out that I’m interrupting, yes, but I’m not trying to silence you. I just wanted to point out that you’re starting to get off topic, time is valuable, and I wanted to hear your idea about her being the date of a male star.

-Oh, right. Well, with all of that star stuff, who wouldn’t want to take her? I figure we could auction her off to any hunk celebrities, because, well, think of it! If those guys could show that they were able to get a girl like this, one that should have a religion based around her beauty, then all of the women out there will start to think, “Wow, if he was able to get her, he must be sexy.”

-”He must have a great personality, too, because she can have anybody she wants.”

-”If she’s the perfect woman, than he might be the perfect man.” People could rent her out to enhance their careers, plus it would have the additional effect of giving her more time in the lime light, the public eye, because while their talking about whatever star she’s with, they’re still talking about her. The attention is still on her, and any that is on the guy is only secondary. It works both ways, it’s really-

-Fuck, sorry for interrupting, but I just realized a major flaw in your idea, which really is great in theory.

-What?

-Well, it all goes back to that consent thing. People could falsely accuse those men of being rapists, or whatever words they love to throw around, and it would just cause much more trouble then we really need. Now, I’m not saying they’d be right, I’m just saying that its most likely how they’ll react.

-Fuck, a good plan wasted, and even some time has been wasted now too. Why do they have such a big issue with us?

-I don’t know, I guess some people have nothing better to-Oh shit. What the hell is that thing?

-I think it may be a coyote. I used to have to deal with them all of the time when I grew up, and its probably just hungry and wants to eat her.

-Oh no, we can’t have that, then who will want to have her wear their clothes? She would be less than perfect and-

-Here, let me just, there we go! No reason to worry, all you have to do is throw a rock at them and they’ll leave you alone. And yeah, you’re right, plus who would want to sleep with a girl who had a couple bite marks out of her? There goes her career, right down the toilet, just because some animal got a bit hungry. At least the sun is going town, that will probably give us more time to think this over, but it is strange that it was out this early. Let’s keep an eye out for it, I don’t really trust it.

-Okay, will do. Also, I’m starting to get pretty on board with this idea, but I just want to make sure that we will be able to do this. I just don’t want to end up in any unnecessary trouble.

-Isn’t that right. Did you hear about Gary?

-No, what happened to him?

-Well, he found this girl, and she was a beauty, but not like the one we have in front of us, but good enough to have some money making potential. Now, the girl’s actually fifteen, but he figures that she looks old enough to pass as eighteen, and tells her to keep it on the down low, tells her its for her career.

-I know this game.

-Haha, aint that right. However, little did he know, she had this heart defect that she never told him about. Her mother apparently smoked a pack a day or something like that when she was pregnant, and now whenever the girl gets excited she is at risk of her heart popping. Apparently that’s why she wanted to model, because all you have to do is stand there and look pretty. Now, she’s climbing the latter of success, and, well, she’s having a little bit of fun with this older designer, furthering her career, and all of the sudden, when he rolls off of her, she’s pale and not moving. Dead on arrival.

-Shit.

-Yeah man, no way anyone could’ve seen it coming.

-That’s just a load of bad luck. It was kind of his fault, you know, because in the first place he really shouldn’t-

-Shouldn’t of done a thorough background check with her health and everything beforehand, I know. Its still a shame though, poor guy didn’t deserve it, he did nothin’ wrong.

-What a shame. But lets get back to business, I don’t want to spend my day standing next to the freeway, keeping an eye out for coyotes. Now, another problem I can think of is the police? What if it turns out if this broad was murdered, and all of the sudden they have to investigate it, and start cutting her open, ruining her body and any chance she would have of making it big? One warrant and her career goes down the drain, then we’re back out here scouting, instead of vacationing and cashing in all of the checks that she’d bring in. Even worse, what if when the fuzz got their hands on her, they found her family, and all of the sudden those schmucks are burying her, or worse, cremating her, and we don’t have a say in it.

-Well, if she was buried it wouldn’t really be to bad, you know. All we would have to do would be to dig her up on night, plus she would be all preserved anyways and they would do a couple of steps anyways. Plus, with a girl as beautiful as this it should be a crime to even cremate her. There’s no way the would do that. So, worst case, if the family is involved it just turns into a waiting game.

-There’s a major flaw in your plan, because there’s a good chance she’d get all crushed after she was buried, and who knows what kind of damage that could do to her.

-What do you mean? Its not like they’d just toss her down by herself, cover her with dirt, call it a day. Nah, she would be in a coffin, and that would seal her for us, preserving her beauty, like Snow White or something.

-Coffins don’t do shit to protect the bodies.

-What?

-Yeah, whenever the dirt gets poured on top, the weight of it is so heavy that the lid just pops right off, the whole thing falls apart. I had an uncle who used to sell them, and he used to explain that to me. Its all just kind of a racket. Especially with the very expensive ones, with the beautiful interiors that are comfier than most people’s beds. The dead couldn’t care less for comfort, or the box they’re in when when they’re thrown away, so the people who sell coffins tell their little lies just to sell the better ones, cause if they’re dumb enough to seek out comfort, then who cares if the thing falls apart? None of it matters. That’s why we can’t let her family get their hands on her, they’d just throw here away, crush her body, waste her potential. We want to make her a star, give her the world, and they-

-Woah woah woah. You’re getting pretty angry there, and this is just a hypothetical situation you know. Where is this coming from?

-Maybe its the heat, maybe I’m getting hungry, I don’t know.

-If it makes you feel any better, we could call up a couple lawyers, get like a patent or a copyright on her, and they wouldn’t be able to touch the body at all. She’d be legally ours, they couldn’t do a thing.

-That doesn’t sound right.

-Of course it doesn’t, I’m not a lawyer, I’m a talent scout who’s about to become an agent. Who knows what they’re really talking about anyways. Its like her hypothetical family you were ranting about, they don’t know much about the fashion industry so they throw away the next it girl. We’re all just a bunch of people who don’t know much, walking around, pretending like we understand something. Look at the-

-Okay, I don’t have time for this. We need to settle this once and for all, because if this seems like a good idea then we should probably load her up in the car and get her preserved as quickly as we can. Then we got to get a bite to eat somewhere, and I’m so fucking hungry, I- listen to that. Did you hear that?

-Yeah man, that was a loud one.

-See, I’m so hungry that my fuckin’ stomach is shouting at us to get all of this settled. So consent isn’t something we have to worry about if nobody knows about it, and if the law gets a whiff of this we’ll probably have to hope for another miracle, but that’s very situational. Any other problems you can see?

-You’re the one who wanted to look at all of the problems in the first place, I don’t know why you’re asking me. I was ready to just load her up and-

-Okay, okay. Now, oh yeah, one last snag, but this should be easy to figure out. How to we get her to sign onto any contracts? And if she gets paychecks, how do they get cashed? How does any of the financial aspects of this work?

-Like we said earlier, we just trademark her or something, and then we just license her image out to whoever wants to have her in a shoot or whatever, and all of that jazz. We could probably have all of the checks go to the agency, in order to avoid any questions of what to do with her paychecks.

-But wouldn’t that be slave labor or something? Like, don’t we have to pay her something? Wouldn’t all of those so called activists accuse us of exploiting her if we-

-Look, I’m tired, I’m ready to go, let’s just let the accountants deal with the money, and the lawyers deal with the law. We’re really just wasting our time talking over problems that we don’t have the answers to, and no matter how much we talk about it, its not like we’ll get anywhere, because we don’t know what we’re talking about.

-Are you just saying that because you’re hungry too?

-Yeah, you got me. I think I’m really in the mood for burgers, or at least something greasy.

-Aren’t you greasy enough? Why do you gotta eat something like that then?

-Haha, you are what you eat. Now lets, shit.

-I don’t have to go right now, but if you gotta make sure you get far enough away from the- hey. What are you doing with that rock?

-There’s more of them, this is what I was kind of worried about. Look over there, see all those coyotes? I think they’re waiting for us to walk away from the body, and they usually don’t attack people like this, but we also don’t know how hungry they could be, which would also make them really desperate.

-Aren’t we all hungry? Now, one last thing before we go-

-Ugh, seriously? Let’s just get her in the car and worry about everything later! I’m sick of-

-This will be quick, don’t worry. I was just thinking about the murder thing, and that story about the young thing whose heart popped, and I just want to make sure of some things. Lets just check her body for any signs of murder, like blood, cuts, all of that, and if she doesn’t have any we could load her into the car, and finally get a bite to eat. Is that alright with you?

-Okay, yeah, but lets do it quick. And if we’re on top of her body like this, there’s probably less of a chance that they’ll lunge for it, and ruin our- Uh oh.

-What? What is it? You find blood or something? She a murder?

-No, not that, this is worse?

-What?

-Wait, I have to be a hundred percent sure before I-yep. That is definitely a dick. This is a guy, we just wasted all of our time. God damn it!

-So this was just a dead tranny? What are we supposed to do with that? You fucking brought me out here, wasted my time, and in the end its just some guy? Fuck!

-Shit, lets just go, I’m starving. I have to wash my hands too, I can’t believe I touched his-

-What do we do with him then?

-Leave him for the coyotes man, I don’t care. Its not my problem if they eat that bastard up, he wasted our day anyways. We could’ve been out at the malls or something, getting some real talent, but instead he just.. Fucking.. Good riddance, lets just go.

-Where were you thinking of eating at? If we go to that place where you park and eat, and the food is brought to your car, we might get lucky and find some potential there.

-Nah, I need to go somewhere with a bathroom. I gotta wash my hands for a long time, get this filth off of me.