#It's Paddy and not Patty by the way. It's never been Patty.

[vyorei]

We've been furious here on the island regarding almost all the politicians leaving to pander to a genocidal administration.

I humbly request that when you see those fools shaming us abroad to remember that they have expressly ignored the will of the people. We marched in our hundreds of thousands for weeks and still they ignore our every request.

Ireland stands with Palestine always, those stooges from the Dáil do not represent us and will be removed in the upcoming General Election. They needed their last free holiday on the taxpayer given they'll never have power again.

If you are to engage in the festivities this weekend I request you utilise the black shamrock, and not the green. That is what we're doing here.

Saoirse don Phalaistín. 🇵🇸✊🇮🇪

[kiradurbin]

Super Short Reviews: winter tv part three (and last) 2019:

Perfume (Netflix) – Germany.   Another knock out murder mystery from Germany, this one is so dark its similar to the Swedish mysteries.  Strong ensemble cast; its clear from the beginning that the disturbing murder is only scratching the surface of many more bad deeds of the past.  Naughty naughty!

Informer (Amazon) – UK.  Paddy Constantine is as loveable as ever as a CI handler who waffles between looking grumpy and lost.  His partner looks like a child who cant decide which is more surprising – that she’s an actor at all, or that she was cast on a show about terrorists.  But the star here is Nabhaan Rizwan with his dreamy leading man eyes and biting street smart wit.  He makes this show.  Werk!!

Diablero (Netlix) – Mexico.  The priest looks like Michael Buble which I found exceptionally amusing and distracting. I couldn’t tell from the first 2 episodes if the actors just hadn’t settled into their demon hunting roles yet, or the director couldn’t decide what style he was going for.  If they land in the B-movie horror camp I think people could enjoy it.

Deadly Class (SyFy) – Based on the graphic novel.  I especially dig the 80s music and the Henry Rollins.  You don’t have to be a teeneager to enjoy this – since it takes place during the Regan administration rule, Gen-x viewers will likely get way more of the references than Gen-z. Benedict Wong has great fun as the principal of this school for assassins and Lara Condor is a gem as his star pupil.  She even wears a Bad Religion t-shirt in one episode.  It was not an historically correct t-shirt but hey at least they tried.

Wayne (YouTube) – 16 year old me would have been OBSESSED with this show, so if you fall into that age group please enjoy the crap out of it for me.  This kid makes more trouble in the first episode than most kids do their entire lives. Also anything that makes fun of Southies is great by me.  Funny, sad, dark, and awesome -- and huge props to Mark McKenna who takes on the dialect like a native.  (And he was also in one of my favourite movie ever Sing Street!! blatant plug)

Selection Day (Netflix) – India.  I don’t understand cricket so it took me a minute to get into this... but when the two boys (played by Mohammed Samad and Yash Dhohle) get to stretch their emotional wings my heart was bowled into rooting for them. (Lame attempt at a cricket pun.)  Plus who doesn’t love a little magical realism?

The Other Two (Comedy Central) – I laughed.  Its a send up of childhood overnight youtube stardom, and crazy people in loveable but crazy New York.   Plus Molly Shannon and Ken Marino -- Who doesnt love those two crazies?

Demon’s Path  (Netflix) – Hong Kong.  You know when you were in junior high / high school and you made bad home movies with people that couldn’t really act and dialogue that wasn’t really good?  This is a lot like that.  How is a 16 year old on the police force?  Its impossible to make a supernatural story line work with goofy acting … but maybe Hong Kong, like Korea, doesn’t consider this goofy acting. Maybe they think all our shows are goofy acting.  I dunno.

Black Earth Rising (Netflix) – UK. This is super heavy.  You’ve got the Rwandan genocide, the war in the Congo, a big trial at the Hague, and some mysterious events of the past that John Goodman knows but will never tell.  Bonus: Harriet Walter!

Four More Shots Please (Amazon) – India.  These people are actually speaking English most of the time but if you’re like me you’ll need to turn the subtitles on. Plot:  Four plucky young women traverse life and love (or at least sex) in Mumbai. Style: It’s not quite SATC but there is a dance number!!  (duh its Mumbai!)

Justice (Netflix) – UAE.  The genre is legal procedural.  But the style is almost soap opera.  And the music is all over the place.  Confusing.  Still, Fatima Al Taei makes a strong case (pun intended) for herself as a young, intelligent, female lead, and the stories highlight the complex struggles between traditionalism and modernism.  Netflix’ first Emirati show.  

Sex Education (Netflix) – UK. Tempting to describe this using only emojis (ha ha ha!)  But seriously, Asa Butterfield has grown up to be the awkward-ish high school son to Gillian Anderson’s single sex therapist mother. Sooooooo fun to see Gillian in a comedic role!! (and a mod haircut to boot.)  Emma Mackey and Ncuti Gatwa shine as the best friends ready to drive or support any potentially comedic ‘therapy.’

Sydney to the Max (Disney) – Yay Caroline Rhea!  Another one for the teeny boppers; this show centers on the cute juxtaposition of a girl in seventh grade and her dad’s memories of the same grade in 1992.  The girl acts waaaaaay younger than my seventh grader, but hey, maybe these people live in some nice hubba bubblea suburb.  

Kingdom (Netflix) – Korea.  Visually beautiful –  a lot like the Japan episode of Westworld.  Government factions fight each other – a lot like the Japan episode of Westworld.  Beautful people do monstrous things – a lot like the Japan episode of Westworld.   But how you know that its NOT the Japan episode of Westworld is howwwwww slooooooooow eeeeeeveryyyyyyone iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis.  I wonder if Koreans think everyone on our shows talk way too quickly.  

I Am The Night (TNT) – actually a mini-series but I’m throwing it in here anyway  cuz I enjoyed it. Patty Jenkins and Chris Pine reunite to tell a story (mostly fictional) of the real Fauna Hodel and the really bizarre people she meets as she tries to discover who her real family is.  I loved the 1960s detailed pictures (shot on Kodak film) of Los Angeles and  India Eisley is great in her wounded kitten portrayal of Fauna.

[bbskars-blog]

Bill Skarsgard Imagine

Bill Skarsgard x reader 

Requested: “The reader finds out she's pregnant & she's really nervous to tell bill. So she doesn't for a while until the stress of bill being gone all the time , her working in her own career, and just plain stress of life becomes too much for her causing her body to shut down. Bills at work when he gets a call your in the hospital and when he finds out he gets super pissed and worried bc you didn't tell him. But he's also over the moon in excitement”

Your pov

You stood over the sink looking at the multiple pregnancy tests. They were all positive. You were nervous, you were beyond nervous. You've always wanted kids but you weren't sure if Bill would want to have kids with you. I mean you guys aren't even married yet. You just lived together. 

You were scared that Bill wouldn't want to keep the baby. He has his career that's just starting to take off. IT had just been released in theatres so everybody's been buzzing about him. Casting directors are looking at him for there own projects.

Not even to mention your own career in the entertainment industry. You were an actress as well but not as known as he was becoming yet. You wanted to be known by your name not his. As of recently, you were got the role in a movie that was predicted to do well in theatres. You were casted as Wonder Woman in the DC franchise (because I love wonder woman alot and i'm excited for the justice league movie). You were already in shape and was due for filming in a few weeks. Your career, in short, was starting to take off as well.

You and him didn't have time to raise a baby. You both had your different careers that you needed to worry about.

You slide down onto the bathroom floor, knees brought up to your chest. You were conflicted. You wanted to have this child but at the same time you didn't. You thought to yourself, you were selfish.You wanted to keep doing what you loved, which was acting. 

You knew you could keep filming even though you were pregnant. They could also get rid of the bump with cgi. But one of the things you loved to do was your own stunts. Yes something that small of doing stunts. You had lived by the motto "you only live once" and because of that when it came to acting, you were always keeping up what was going on. All casting calls, seeing something that is interesting.

You knew you were being selfish, because after 9 months you could get back to doing your own things. You were addicted to your year, you enjoyed it so much that you didn't want to stop until you died.

You were also thinking in your mind that you wanted to be financially good.  You and Bill lived in an apartment, there was no room for a baby.

There were a lot of things that you thought you were missing when you found out you were pregnant just a few moments ago. You always dreamed of being pregnant and having your own children but you wanted to have a house first, enough money to not go to work for awhile. You also wanted to be married to someone before you got pregnant and Bill and you weren't.

You were always a profectionist and always needed things to be done the way you thought them to be other wise you would be stressed out. Sooner or later you would realize you were being childish and be happy again but not of the things that happened in the past were permanent like they were now.

A few hours later you were in the kitchen cooking dinner for you and Bill. You heard the door open and close. 

"Babe, I'm home."

"In here," you replied back.

Bill came into the kitchen. You looked up from what you were doing and stared at him. Bill came up and kissed you on the head and looked you in the eyes.

"You alright?" Bill asked you. You nodded and put on a fake smile. You weren't going to tell Bill you were pregnant yet. He didn't have to know yet. Or he didn't need to know at all. You could get an abortion and then when things turned out the way you imagined them, you would try again.

You shook your head, you were being selfish again. You would wait a few weeks when you would accept that this is reality and things wouldn't be turning out the way you wanted. You would wait until you were okay with what was happening.

You and Bill  left to go film your movies. Him filming Emperor and you filming Wonder Woman. You were still thinking about the whole pregnant thing. You didn't tell anyone wanting to keep it to yourself until you thought things through. If you got an abortion you would feel guilty for the rest of your life and wouldn't be able to forgive yourself.

You were preparing for your scenes in Wonder Woman, you guys were in England filming the story getting to the battle. While trying to attempt to put on your Wonder Woman red and blue armour, arose some complications. It didn't fit.

"What do you mean it doesn't fit?" The costume designer asked you.

"It's too tight," you replied motioning to your chest and stomach.

The costume designer looked at you confused. You were starting to panick. You didn't want to intentionally kill the baby but you also didn't want anybody to know because then word would get out and Bill would be mad for not telling him first.

You then somehow shimmied your way out of the armour. The same time, the director, Paddy came in. You looked at her worried. You knew she wouldn't mind but you didn't want anybody to know.

Patty was having a conversation with the costume director asking what they could do to fix it from being tight.

"I mean, it's supposed to be tight," Patty said carefully. You looked at her and nodded your head, signaling that you knew it was supposed to be tight.

"I mean, you fit this when you filmed Batman vs Superman," Patty continued.

"I don't know what happened, all I know is that when I put on I couldn't breathe." Maybe it was you being stressed from everything that was making it hard for you to breathe.

When you looked away the air around you started to grow hot and you felt it harder to breathe, you also wanted to cry. You started panicking and quickly passed out.

Bills pov

Bill was on set filming his new movie Emperor while you filmed Wonder Woman. He was extremely proud of you. He missed you a lot because when he got home from promoting IT and doing interviews, a week later you guys had to go your separate ways to film your own movies. That's what was hard about being an actor, which was being away from the ones you loved for a long time.

He was in his trailer going over his lines when his phone started ringing. He looked at the caller ID to see that he didn't recognize the number. He would've picked up but he didn't recall auditioning for anything, so he ignored it. Continuing to read his lines, his phoen rang again. The same caller calling. He decided after a few seconds of looking at his phone that it could be important.

"Hello?" He asked into his phone.

"Um.....Is this Bill, y/n's boyfriend Bill Skarsgard...." the voice on the other end was female and sounded worried. He put his script on the table and stood up, now being worried himself about you.

"Yes, is something wrong?"

"Um....I'm Patty....The director of Wonder Woman. You know your girlfriend is supposed to be filming now...."

"What do you mean supposed to? Is she okay?" He asked a little more frightened.

"Well....she sort of passed out. We don't know why. She was being fitted for her costume and it didn't fit, she sat down, and the next thing I know her head falls onto the table and she's unconscious."

Bill couldn't speak. For all he knew was that he needed to get to you and he needed to get to you now.

"Where is she?" He asked and started gathering his stuff.

"We took her to (hospital name), I'm in the waiting room write now."

"I'm on my way, keep me updated on her condition."

"Will do," Paddy said and he hung up. He told the director where he was going and what happened. He excused him to go and said that they could put off filming for a little while.

-At the hospital-

Bill had just arrived at the hospital. Patty had sent him directions of where to go and how to find them when he got there. Once at the hospital he found Paddy, and asked how you were doing.

"They said that she's fine," he looked confused, "that she passed out due to being stressed. But I've never seen her do this though." Patty knew you and she knew you weren't the type to pass out from stress for no one reason.

"I..um, have to go," Patty told Bill. Bill nodded understandingly.

"I'll tell keep you updated on how she is."

"Thank you," Patty said. She put her hand on Bills shoulder and smiled weakly and left. Bill was outside your room looking at you through the glass, you were sleeping.

You were never like this. Patty knew that too. The doctor came out and saw Bill.

"Are you family?" The doctor asked him.

"I'm her husband," Bill said quickly, afraid that if he said boyfriend that he would kick him out because being your boyfriend isn't technically family, by law.

The doctor nodded, "Well she just passed out from too much stress. She should be fine. She will be ready to leave in a few days."

Bill nodded, glad that you were okay.

"Also, the baby is going to be alright too. Baby's normal, even after that little stress attack," the doctor told Bill finally.

Bill looked confused, "Baby?"

The doctor looked up from the papers from his clipboard, "Yes, healthy baby. It's a good thing the baby wasn't harmed when she....." he motioned towards you.

Bill nodded weakly and poiltely said thank you. He watched as the doctor left and went into the hospital room you were in and sat beside you.

Your pov

You opened your eyes slowly and looked around the room. You had woken up before and fell back to asleep. You adjusted to the bright lights in the room. When you were fully awake you looked to your right to see Bill. He was sitting on a chair and looked like he had been crying.

"Bill?" you said weakly.

"Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?" He asked you seriously. You could tell there was anger in his voice. You didn't know what to say to him. You didn't know where to start, so you just layed there, wasn't like you were going anywhere to begin with.

Bill got up from the chair angrily and you watched as the chair fell over.

"Why didn't you tell me we were having a baby y/n!"

"I wanted to but I didn't...." 

"You didn't what?" You just shrugged you didn't know if you wanted to tell him.  

"You didn't what?"

"I didn't know if I wanted to keep it!" You finally said to him with tears in your eyes. 

"What?" Bill said softly now. 

"With everything that's been happening," you now started crying, "I'm selfish. I haven't gotten married. I don't have a house. I have a movie I need to film, multiple because there's multiple movies where I need to portray Wonder Woman in, which will take me away from home....." you were now balling your eyes out, hands covering your eyes as you let the tears run down your face.

You kept crying until you felt a dip in the bed next to you. You felt long legs near your legs and you felt gigantic hands touch yours and pull your small ones away from your eyes. Bill was holding your hands in one hand and in the other he turned your face so you would look at him.

"Is that why you're stressed?" You nodded weakly, "over all those small things?"

"Those things aren't small to me!" You looked away and tried to pull your hands free from Bill but even with muscles he was still stronger than you.

"We could always get married after you give birth," you looked at him with a weak smile. "In fact, we don't we don't have to invite our baby there. We cold act like you were never pregnant, go on our honeymoon, have sex, pretend your pregnant for 9 months by putting a basketball in you shirt and then, there's our baby being handed to us by Alexander."

You laughed and Bill smiled.

"We're not doing that," you said to him. He just smiled. 

"It was a good plan in my head," he said to you. You just laughed at him. No matter what Bill could always make you smile.

You looked at Bill and you saw his smile growing wider and wider.

"What?" You asked him. 

"I can't believe we're going to be parents." You just smiled. Maybe you should've told Bill from the beginning. He could've helped you through all this stress.

You guys just stared at each other and admired each other. Bill took a strand of your hair and put it behind your hear.

"Don't worry, we'll figure things out." Bill said and you believed him. Because when it came to him, doing anything with him is perfect already.

[amandaj718]

Emmerdale Not Live but Still  Organized - February 26, 2018

Hello! Welcome to the late show! Let me take care of some housekeeping. First, I had something to do today, so this is going to be a delay. I also have a second interview tomorrow so tomorrows review will be late too (wish me luck!). Then I’m free the rest of the week to enjoy the ride our favorite (and not so favorite) characters are on.

I still don’t know what to do with myself now that our lovely idiot sweetheart husbands are back together. It's weird. It has been so long and now…here we are. I’m going to enjoy every scene given to us.

Let’s crack on!

The Pub Crew

I can’t believe Sarah wrote on Paddy’s head. She is a true Sugden. *snort*

Ok. SO. This Chas and Paddy storyline. Here is where I stand. I’m pro-choice. I don’t judge anyone on their situation. Women have to do what is best and I got their backs. So…the way the show has handled Kerry’s, Rebecca’s and now Chas’s baby storyline is…upsetting to me. That is as far as I will go for now.

So, we get Charity who is pro-choice. Faith who is anti-choice. Paddy can have an opinion but at the end of the day, Chas should be the ONLY ONE making the final choice. Her body. Her rules. Ok. I’m just going to stop. I’ll upset someone, and weird messages will show up in my inbox, and I can’t handle that today.

Aaron being fine with it and no jealousy is great. These two have come so far. It is great to see it work itself out on screen.

Paddy has a worried walk?

Should I remind Patty that he has Leo and he never sees him anymore? Leo is your kid too! So is Aaron. I wish Paddy would stop thinking of blood as the only way to have a child.  

The Café Crew

Charity is just singing about gay bars now. Damn Vanessa. *wink*

Jimmy is just a mess. I sense he will either lose it or have a heart attack or close to one. Panic attack maybe.

Tip is still with Jai. *snort*

Well, technically, Robert should come first. He was here first Jimmy. Take care of YOUR business. Joe is using you as a personal assistant. You are better than that.

Let Harriet and the new Vicar be co-vicars. CO-VICARS!

Keepers Cottage

Rebecca is like a child. No. She seems blank or slow. *so many jokes I can make but I won’t. I’ll be a lady. For today. I need good karma.*  

Glad to see the old Victoria is back! *Puts on a party for her!*

Lily! THE LILY IS HERE. She is a true star.

“I love Aaron. I’m trying to make a life that includes everything.” – Robert *awwww our husbands are back!*

Lily is getting so big. She is so adorable.

I know people are upset, but he can’t leave Seb with Rebecca in that condition. Victoria needs to work. So, Robert is putting his son first which any normal parent would do this. It's ok. Like Aaron said, it will all shake out. My speculation on this? Seb is moving into The Mill because no way can Rebecca take care of him, and no way should she put Seb in harm's way.

I’m just bored with Rebecca now too, but I sense a final act coming. Something needs to break and its coming.

The Mill

Awwww. Those two were running fast into the mill. Let’s move Robert in fast! I love how excited Aaron was to have Robert back in his own way.

Also, the banter of love. It's back. I’m a happy bunny.

I love that Aaron wants Seb around. He asked about him. *BUNNY HEART HAPPY*

Home Farm

Home Farm is looking better by the episode. Love the silver. It works with Joe.

Graham has Joe’s number. Good. Keeps him honest (as much as he can be).

Joe is going to use Jimmy harder than a train uses a track.

Joe is hot. Joe is an asshole. Joe is a hot asshole.

“What we want and what we have to do…” – Jimmy *Good review of how life really is*

WHY DIDN’T HE READ THAT CONTRACT? Kids. Always read anything before you sign. ALWAYS. Some advice from me. Enjoy.

‘It’s Just Speculation!’

As per usual: Stay off the message boards, respect each other’s opinions, breathe, reboot and eat a Snickers. If you want to talk theory or the show come on over to my Tumblr @amandaj718. Appreciate what I write? Buy me a cup of coffee over at my blog, Amanda Jane’s Randomly Organized Pop!

Until next time, see you around in Emmerdale!

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Let’s Read Comics! With Samantha and her Girlfriend :D

And this time around we take a look at one of Marvel’s...ODDER heroes

And one of the single most surreal and unfortunate villains ever

So get ready to be ape-alled...as the Menacing Mandrill faces off with the Sensational Shanna the She Devil in the Mighty Marvel Manner!

Me: Are you ready for some truly WILD action

As Shanna the She Devil puts an end to the Mandril’s Ape-alling monkey business?

My Girlfriend: I am not dignifying that with an answer

Me: ;_;

My Girlfriend: If she can speak to animals why can’t she just tell the rhino not to kill people

Me: RHINOES ARE KNOWN FOR THEIR HORRIFYING BLOOD LUST

Our tale opens with Shanna the She Devil ordering her cats to attack the rampaging rhino on the cover

My Girlfriend: So right off the bat she’s not only trying to murder an endangered animal

She’s also endangering two others

Me: HEROICALLY FORCING TWO BIG CATS TO TRY AND EAT A RHINO

My Girlfriend: I can see why the Avengers never gave her a call

Me: That and there’s nowhere for her to keep a phone in that outfit

My Girlfriend: >.>

Me: NO

And speaking of Obscene Thoughts, the very next panels give us…

Me: I’M KINKSHAMING THE SHE-DEVIL

My Girlfriend: GET AWAY FROM THAT ANIMAL

Me: Shanna spends a LOT of time on certain sub-reddits

And in case you think we’re just being Filthy Minded little monsters, the very next scene gives us

My Girlfriend: I’M KINKSHAMING THIS WHOLE COMIC

Me: Just imagine being the artist

Getting told to draw this

My Girlfriend: “Okay so then the half naked jungle woman bites the rhinos ear”

Me: “UMMMMMMM”

My Girlfriend: “IT’S A WAY OF SHOWING DOMINANCE”

Me: “What audience are we aiming this book at exactly”

My Girlfriend: Just imagine reading this on the bus

Or around a family member

They take a peek over your shoulder like “I wonder what colourful adventures they are enjoying today”

AND SEE THIS

Me: You would have to change your name and leave that town forever

With the rhino calmed down and probably going to press charges at some point, Shanna leaps into the arms of her friend “Patty”

My Girlfriend: They named the Irishman “Patty”?

Me: They didn’t go with “Paddy”

Thank the gods for small mercies and leave it at that

My Girlfriend: I have concerns that he’s not going to be a flattering portrayal of the Irish people

Me: I’d like to tell you your wrong…

Shanna remarks that she doesn’t know what she’d do without Patty and he responds that she’d “Get your She-Devillish self killed”

Me: Or at the very least apprehended by Zoo security while trying to sneak into the rhino enclosure

My Girlfriend: Patty just isn’t enough to satisfy her…URGES

Me: “Why not when you clearly stole Crocodile Dundees outfit”

My Girlfriend: On the subject of stealing WHERE did she get those pets from

You know

The ones it is Very Illegal for people to just wander around with

Me: “PATTY THE ZOO IS FULL OF FREE CATS”

But no the person in fact wants to thank them for their help in apprehending the Rampaging Rhino

Me: One of the rare examples of someone in the Marvel universe NOT being a dick

My Girlfriend: Good thing Shanna isn’t a mutant or he’d already be rounding up a lynch mob

Me: We’ve found the one occasion where people in the Marvel universe are actually NICE to heroes

When they’re photogenic white women

My Girlfriend: The Marvel universe truly is the most realistic superhero universe

On the ride back to their hotel, Patty asks Shanna if there’s been any news of her father, with her confirming that there’s still no news

But adding that she’s more worried about a strange dinner party invitation they received

Me: Who has time to worry about missing family members when there’s a FORMAL OCCASION to think about

My Girlfriend: “My father is still missing and I have no idea if he’s alive or dead or WHAT could be happening to him

But enough about that, what do you think the meal tonight will be like?”

Me: She can’t devote the time and energy to caring about abducted loved ones when she needs to decide on an outfit that won’t be a social faux pas

Me: “HERE WE ARE AT HOTEL”

My Girlfriend: It was VERY IMPORTANT that we get to see Shanna showering here

Me: Of course

It was CRUCIAL to the plot that we got to see almost naked

My Girlfriend: Lesser writers or artists may have thought that spending two panels on showing the lead character showering was gratuitous or needless

Me: THE FOOLS

Thank god this book knew better

But when Shanna goes to answer the phone we get

My Girlfriend: WHAT THE HECK IS A MINDFLASH

Me: I can’t tell if it’s another word for flashback or if it’s some kind of traumatic memory she’s having intrude on her thoughts

My Girlfriend: “LOL U MINDFLASHED BRO”

Me: NO

NO DON’T DO THAT

The person on the other end of the phone however is cut off as too Sinister Figures knock him out!

Me: If only she’d actually answered the phone in time instead of mindflashing

My Girlfriend: “WERE YOU HAVING A FLASHBACK AGAIN!?”

Me: “Damn it…this could have been avoided if I’d only chosen a better time to have a flashback”

A knock at her door soon signals Patty’s arrival and when he notes how attractive she looks she asks if he expecred “The Bride of Frankenstein”

My Girlfriend: She’ll never live down that one time she mistakenly thought a party was fancy dress

Me: “THE INVITATIONS WERE UNCLEAR OKAY”

Me: “OH MY GOD IT’S LADY GAGA”

My Girlfriend: They want to be in whatever music video she’s shooting right now

Me: Also can we address how effing surreal this situation is

My Girlfriend: A woman and her pet panther and leopard driving to a dinner party?

Me: That but also the fact they have NO IDEA WHO INVITED THEM OR WHY

My Girlfriend: That was just what people did in the seventies

There was no facebook back then

So when you wanted to make friends you just slid an envelope through random strangers letterboxes inviting them to come to a dinner party

Me: I guess them not turning up would be the equivalent of un-friending

How did you block people back then

My Girlfriend: You lured them down to your cellar with the promise of a fine vintage and then walled them up alive

Me: BABE U MADE A MEME PUN

My Girlfriend: You’re a terrible influence on me

My Girlfriend: Shanna…you can TALK TO ANIMALS

Why are you amazed by a two story manor house

Me: “It’s like some kind of palace”

Not…really?

It’s

It’s just a medium to large sized house?

My Girlfriend: She hasn’t even seen inside yet….

Me: “HOLY CRAP IT’S GOT FREAKING WINDOWS AND EVERYTHING”

Entering the dining room, one of the startled guests reacts to the sight of them with a loud “Madame, please restrain those beasts!”

Me:  Honestly, you’d think they’d never seen a woman walking her panther before

My Girlfriend:  Way to overreact

Me: That or the old guy is just REALLY racist and he’s talking about Patrick

My Girlfriend: “You can bring the big cats in here

BUT WE DON’T WANT ANY IRISH”

When the three admit that NONE of them called this party, the one who did announces his presence

And WOW

You really have to see this to believe it

Me: SPEAKING OF RACISM

My Girlfriend: I’d love to have been there when someone decided this was a good idea

I would love to have been in the room just to see if ANYONE raised any concerns

Me:  “What’s the MOST STEREOTYPICAL way we can dress a black man?

Think of it, then make it 50% more racist”

Shanna notes that she has “Never seen her cats so agitated”

My Girlfriend: THE CATS ARE APPALLED BY RACISM AS WELL

Me: They’re trying to escape the comic so they can bite the artist

My Girlfriend: OH MY GOD WHAT ARE HIS HENCHGIRLS WEARING

Me: I’m pretty sure since they bought Marvel, Disney keeps copies of this issue locked in the same vault they keep “Song of the South”

My Girlfriend: When Jeff Sessions is trying to decide how racist to be on any given day, he looks at this scene and thinks “less racist than this at least oh my god”

And the villain outlines his plan, in a scene which is really…something

Me: THREE NATIONS?!?!?

My Girlfriend: He has all the powers of a MAN WITH A BAG ON HIS HEAD Samantha

Do not doubt his power

Me: Also…”Diamond Merchant”?

Hmmmmmmmm

My Girlfriend: Yeah, I think we all know who the biggest villain in THIS room is now

Me: He’s a legitimate businessman Rebecca he definitely knows nothing about any blood diamonds

My Girlfriend: General Mojo will also be vital in fighting off the Powerpuff Girls should they show up

Me: meanwhile Shanna’s contribution to all this is to…stand there and look hot

My Girlfriend: All the others get tasks assigned based on their skills…meanwhile, the kick ass woman who can TALK TO ANIMALS?

She gets to arch her back while wearing that furry bikini

Me: Also: WHAT DOES SHE HAVE A PHD IN

My Girlfriend: That is a good question

She lives in a jungle and talks to cats when did she get a formal college education and what was it in

Me: SHE HAS A PHD IN ANIMAL TRAINING

My Girlfriend: That’s not a thing you can study

Me: What if you go to clown college

My Girlfriend: NO

Everyone rejects his offer, Lord Dunbar declaring indignantly “We are leaving Mr…er…host”

My Girlfriend: Ah the wit and wordsmithery of a seasoned diplomat

Me: Showing off that famous British talent for the skilfully worded put-down there

So their mysterious host has his henchgirls SHOOT AT THE FLOOR AROUND THEM

Me: Well that will definitely get them on his side

My Girlfriend: Nothing makes people respect your ideas more than having people fire at them with assault rifles

Me: Why is he wasting his time here when clearly he could be bringing this bold and ingenious approach to the peace process in so many wartorn countries

He re-assures them that he wasn’t trying to kill them as they are “Too valuable to him” but decides to prove why their venture “Cannot fail”

Me: WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT PROVE

OTHER THAN THAT UR A WEIRDO

WHO TURNED HIMSELF INTO AN APE MAN

My Girlfriend: Waaaaaait

Wait wait wait

So in addition to dressing him like one of Katy Perry’s back up dancers

And having him be surrounded by henchgirls who look like they’re about to go chase Indiana Jones for stealing their idol

They made the black supervillain in this story…literally be half-ape

Me: …

HOLY SHIT THEY ACTUALLY DID

My Girlfriend: Even Fox News would call this story racist

Even the Daily Mail would be going “Now steady on”

Me:  I’m going to take a wild guess and say that everyone involved in making this comic was a white guy

“What is there for me…but POWER?!” the Mandril declares

Me: FLEAS

Lots and lots of fleas

That’s what there is for you

My Girlfriend: Why does he think replacing his head with an apes will make the world obey him?

Me: WHY DOES HE THINK HE WILL CONVINCE OTHERS OF THIS

The Mandril raves about how the “Finely muscled females” who have been “Tattooed in his image” are “Converts to his religion of hate”

A horrible realisation dawns on us

Me: OMFG

THE MANDRIL IS THE FOUNDER OF THE MENS RIGHTS MOVEMENT

My Girlfriend: MOTHER OF GOD

Me: “A religion of hate”?

Calling women “Females”?

Ranting about how everyone should do what he says just because?

HE IS THE ORIGINAL “MENINIST”

My Girlfriend: He’s trying to conquer the planet, one misogynistic hate-filled sub-reddit at a time

Me: First he made 4chan bow to him what next

My Girlfriend: Already he’s infiltrated Youtube comments pages and “Leave your feedback” sections of every website on earth

Me: THE FIEND

My Girlfriend: Our hero bravely orders her pet cats to tear these people limb from limb and eat them, hopefully not alive

Me: It’s no “Avengers Assemble”, I’ll grant you

Me: YES I AGREE THAT IS ABSOLUTELY WHAT WE NEED

My Girlfriend: DOWN, SAMANTHA

Don’t make me get the spray bottle

Up against deadly foes with all the power of a normal human with a gun Shanna makes the heroic and noble decision to GTFO of there

Me: Literally did not even hesitate for a second

Before leaving everyone in that room to their fate

My Girlfriend: Including someone who she’s meant to care about

My Girlfriend: OH GOOD SHE SAVED THE CATS THOUGH

She left four  people in the clutches of a mutant cult leader and his heavily armed acolytes

But she saved the cats

Me: It’s okay though

She ALMOST feels guilty about it

My Girlfriend: Oh okay

As long as she kind of nearly feels a little bit bad about it

That makes it perfectly okay

Me: As long as you say you feel bad about it, that excuses every bad thing you’ve ever done

My Girlfriend: So THAT’S how Mel Gibson still has a career

As Shanna steals a rover she thinks on how she has to get help

Me: Can you imagine trying to describe this situation to the authorities

My Girlfriend: “OFFICER

A RACIAL CARICATURE HAS TAKEN MY BOYFRIEND HOSTAGE”

Me: “Which department is assigned to dealing with APE MAN CRIME”

My Girlfriend: They had to fire the Ape Man Squad…budget cutbacks

Soon Shanna is pursued by the Mandril’s servants, a high speed chase ensuing!

Me: WHAT WEAPON?!?!

My Girlfriend: Shanna that’s a car

A car isn’t a weapon

Me: This is why I’m doubtful about her having a PHD

Me: We can confirm that whatever field she studied, it wasn’t automotive engineering

Shanna manages to evade them and get back to the city, noting they “Won’t want to be seen”

My Girlfriend: If I was wearing what they were wearing, I wouldn’t want people to see me either

Me: She knows that they can’t risk someone taking a picture of them in those get ups and sticking it on their facebook wall

My Girlfriend: “If we end up on Instagram wearing these things god help us all”

Sure enough the henchgirls depart, noting that the Mandril will be “Very displeased”

Me: Apparently his entire evil plan hinges on capturing a woman in leopard print underwear

My Girlfriend: Diplomats, soldiers, wealthy diamond merchants…those he can all do without

But if he doesn’t have a hot redhead in a furry bikini it all just falls apart

Arriving back at her hotel, Shanna is in for a surprise when…

My Girlfriend: DOESN’T EVEN WAIT TO SEE WHO IT IS

Me: She’s in for a horrible surprise when she finds out she just murdered a bellboy

My Girlfriend: HE JUST WANTED TO SEE IF SHE NEEDED FRESH TOWELS

Me: Like

Fresh from abandoning her friend and a bunch of helpless people to die she tells her cats to murder the heck out of the first innocent person who stumbles into her path

No but thankfully the bigcats DON’T kill him because the man is “Agent Jakuna Singh of SHIELD” and Shanna calls her cats off

My Girlfriend: Since he’s someone she’s friends with she won’t have Ina and Biri rip him apart with their jaws

Me: SO HEROIC

SO KIND              

Me: YES YOUR FATHER

My Girlfriend: So nice of her to let us know that

Me: In a way that didn’t seem oddly clunky or expositional at all

Jakuna explains that SHIELD has a special signalling device hidden in a bracelet and asks if Shanna will infiltrate the Mandril’s lair and use it to call them in

Me: So SHIELD

An international spy organisation

Staffed by men and women trained in assassination, espionage and armed and hand to hand combat

Is staking the lives of these hostages

ON A WOMAN WHO TALKS TO CATS

My Girlfriend: A woman who talks to cats AND looks great in a bikini

Me: YES OF COURSE HOW COULD I FORGET THAT PART

My Girlfriend: WHAT IS THE LOGIC HERE

Me: This is no job for spies Rebecca

This is a job

FOR A CIRCUS PERFORMER

Shanna agrees and en-route to the Mandril’s lair is soon thinking about what she has learned

Me: Oh good

For a minute there I mistakenly thought she cared about the safety and wellbeing of the terrified hostages being held captive by a supervillain with an apes head

My Girlfriend: Don’t be foolish

None of them are blood relatives

THEY CAN BURN FOR ALL SHE CARES

Shanna soon arrives at the Mandril’s lair…and approximately two panels later, is spotted sneaking around it and shot with a tranq dart

Me: …..

Maybe SHIELD should have waited and just sent in the Big Wheel

My Girlfriend: Is the Rocket Racer available?

My Girlfriend: WOW

This went in a really WEIRD direction in a hurry

Me: I have concerns

About what the thought process was behind this scene

My Girlfriend: Starting to think we’re reading the silver age version of a “Boundless Comics” title

Me: Professor Sketchy here needs to keep his hands to himself

My Girlfriend: SKECHER, Samantha

Me: I KNOW WHAT I SAID

My Girlfriend: A DUBIOUS VICTORY FOR WOMENS RIGHTS AT BEST

Me: It’s one thing for gross sexist men to underestimate her just because she’s a woman

BUT WHEN THEY TRY AND CHOOSE HER COSMETICS THEY’RE GOING TOO FAR

My Girlfriend: you go girl

Me: Had the people who wrote this story…ever MET a woman?

My Girlfriend: I think in the seventies men and women still had to be chaperoned whenever they were together

Me: Like

Just imagine…the person who wrote this dialogue probably thought this was PROGRESSIVE

My Girlfriend: It’s a little known fact that pro-choice feminism was actually all about having the right to choose our own cosmetics

Me: Also oh my god they named the tattoo artist SKECHER

SKECHER

My Girlfriend: He always wanted to be a doctor…but his father was a tattoo artist, and his father was a tattoo artist…

They both wanted him to be a doctor but you can’t break with tradition you know

Mandril gives a startled cry of “No woman could!” to which Shanna replies that ANY woman can…if she WANTS to

Me: Any woman…can what exactly?

What is the context here

Any woman can break through leather straps using super strength?

Any woman can shrug off the effects of powerful tranquilisers?

Any woman can talk to cats?

My Girlfriend: Again, it feels like this books HEART is in the right place

But its mind is under the influence of some very powerful drugs right now

Me: Any woman can totally talk to cats though to be fair

My Girlfriend: yes Samantha but the cats don’t share some kind of superhuman jungle woman bond with you

Me: LIES

My Girlfriend: If he won’t allow it he maybe should have stopped her while her feet were still bound

Or before she freed the hungry murderous big cats she controls

Me: Seriously Mandril

YOU OWN GUNS

Why are you just STANDING THERE

Me: WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS COMIC A FUCKIN ANIMAL TRAINER

My Girlfriend: Rather than have his HUMAN henchgirls armed with powerful weapons try and stop her

He’s going to leave it to

A pack of mandrils

Me: A pack of mandrils who will literally stand NO CHANCE against two hungry big cats

My Girlfriend: Maybe he’s hoping that when PETA finds out about what Shanna let her pets do to them they’ll come after her?

Me: THEY WILL HOUND HER TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH

She can’t go around killing animals

THAT’S PETA’S JOB

Shanna pursues the fleeing Mandril, noting that within his truck are FIVE captives…reasoning that one of them must be her father and that means she won’t rest until she’s captured them!

My Girlfriend: If it were just the other four people abducted by the world’s only supervillain furry she’d be much less bothered

Me: Again the subtext here is that she would be more or less okay with the Mandril escaping if one of the people he had captive wasn’t her father

SUCH HEROISM

My Girlfriend: I bet Patrick feels really cared for right now

Mandril’s truck is brought to a stop by Shanna and she declares that his “Dream of conquest end here”

Me: Was it ever even explained WHY he wants to take over the world?

Or how?

My Girlfriend: He didn’t even get a villain monologue

Me: “YOUR HASTILY THROWN TOGETHER EVIL SCHEME IS OVER MANDRIL”

My Girlfriend: Now to put an end to your brief reign of Mild Peril

Mandril flees into the forest, with Shanna pursuing close behind

Me: I think it was pretty obvious he was a fool when he took of his hood to reveal he’d had someone graft an apes head onto his neck

My Girlfriend: The MUTANT MONKEY MAN who has his own private army

Is SHOCKED and STUNNED

By a woman who can RUN KIND OF FAST

Me: Run kind of fast AND talk to cats

My Girlfriend: People in the Marvel universe have very strange ideas about what is and is not abnormal

My Girlfriend: “Have you ever seen the ending of Lion King”

Me: Wait so he doesn’t even have like

MANDRIL CONTROLLING POWERS

He’s

He’s just a weird fuck

Who REALLY LIKES MANDRILS

My Girlfriend: A little too much some people said

Me: NO

My Girlfriend: His turn to villainy began when the local zoo fired him over some…ALLEGATIONS

Me: STAAAAHHHHHPPPPP

But Shanna does save the Mandril’s life, leaping into the fray to protect him

Me: Oh thank god

Where would the Marvel universe be without the Mandril

My Girlfriend: I’m sure readers everywhere breathed a sigh of relief that they could look forward to future appearances by him

Jakuna Singh takes custody of the Mandril while Shanna goes to check on the hostages…however…

Me: “You mean I went through all of this just to save YOU PEOPLE!?!?!

God damn it I might as well not even have bothered”

My Girlfriend: “After all that all I accomplished was saving four innocent people from being abducted and terrorised by a mutated ape man”

Me: Patrick here like “I’M FINE BY THE WAY

Don’t bother asking if I was hurt or tortured or anything

Just

Just worry about your dad”

My Girlfriend: SHANNA YOU ARE A HORRIBLE FRIEND

Me: The Mandril will return in: A VIEW TO A CHIMP

My Girlfriend: Also known as 2Fast2Mandril

 Final Thoughts

Me: THIS WAS REALLY SOMETHING

My Girlfriend: How

Did NO ONE

See the unfortunate implications in this story?

Me: Right?          

Did no one at any point go “Maybe don’t make a black man an ape monster?”

My Girlfriend:  The editors okayed the line “YOU DARE CHOOSE MY COSMETICS FOR ME”

I think they were asleep at the switch here

Me: It was never all that clear what Mandril’s plan was, IF ANYTHING…

Like

I’ve read golden age comics that went further into a villains backstory and motivations than this one did

My Girlfriend: If we weren’t meant to take it seriously it could almost be a Venture Brothers episode…

Me: Just throws us in like “APE MEN EXIST AND THIS ONE WANTS DOMINION OVER ALL LIVING THINGS”

My Girlfriend: I know later comics made the Mandril a misogynist who wants to control women but here not even THAT seems to be there as a motivation

He is evil, he is an ape-man and he wants to rule the world

That’s all there is to it

Me: Right? I mean yeah he’s creepy as fuck about his hench-women but there’s no real indication they’re anything more than yet one more layer of weirdness in the What The Fuck Cake that is this story

My Girlfriend: I am pleased you MOSTLY restrained yourself from making ape puns this time

Me: I’m saving them for the next Gorilla Grodd story we do :D

My Girlfriend: my pride has vanished in an instant

Me: The most important question has still been left unanswered though

My Girlfriend: Which is?

Me: WHAT DOES SHANNA HAVE A PHD IN

I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SLEEP WELL TONIGHT WITHOUT KNOWING THE ANSWER

My Girlfriend: A riddle for the ages indeed

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW32

FREE HIT DOUBLE GAMEWEEK INSANITY LET’S DO IT LET’S FUCK

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week.

WALSH’S FREE HIT 11

GK:

Ederson (ful, CAR)

Landed on Ederson. Feel like City are the best shout for double clean of any DGWer this GW and as such I want the least likely of their lot to miss a game. Nothing more nothing less.

DEF:

Rüdiger & Luiz (car, BHA)

Double Chelsea CBs Roodiger and Luiz are in. Slightly concerned that he fucks one off for Bodtker one time but as it is I can't afford Dave so going to just stick with these guys. Fixtures are prime and cleans look reasonable.

Lindelöf & Smalling (WAT, wol)

Double United defense CBs Lindelof and Michael are also in. They've been wobbly and a bit meh lately from a defensive standpoint but the fixtures are good and if they keep one I'll be well pleased. Not expecting the moon, but for their price, they seem fine.

van Aanholt (HUD, tot)

Last guy is Paddy Patty PvA the Dutchman. Stats nowhere near Schluppinho but just a gut feel. PVA usually starts flying late on in the season and I'm just going with my balls on this one.

MID:

Sterling (ful, CAR) & Hazard (car, BHA)

Haz and Raz among the most obvious shouts in my FH team perhaps. Not much to say about either...just a couple of good guys with a couple of great fixtures.

Alli & Son (liv, CPL)

More rogue is the double potato men Alli and Suonny in there. As you can see, not much has changed (read: actual nothing) since the pod and I'm still feeling okay with this rogue diff in my team. Livp are obviously a bad fixture but the Palace game in the home opener with no mom Sakho reads goals to me. Still not feeling much else as an alternative so we'll see how they do for me.

FWD:

Agüero (ful, CAR)

Just Kun the most beautiful man in the world. Kun is love Kun is life.

CAP:

Agüero (ful, CAR)

Kun in. Let's fuck.

ALON’S FREE HIT 11

I just spent about 30 minutes doing a team and taking some punts and I don’t know so here’s where I ended up. Let’s roll some dice and hit some hauls.

GK:

Ryan (SOU, che)

Was on Kepa all week and then Ederson and I eventually sacrificed the GK position for Ryan. It’s obviously the lowest scoring position in FPL and I’ve still got my City defensive cover and double Chelsea defense so I feel ok with those. Going Ryan enabled other spending elsewhere to drop players that I don’t like (Manchester United defenders and Batshuayi) but were still in my team and then beef up some other positions so fuck it I’m just going with it. Praying for a clean home Southampton and lots of save points over the two.

DEF:

Rüdiger & Azpilicueta (car, BHA)

I spunked the extra cash for Azpil over Luiz trying to secure a guaranteed 180′ for the GW but we’ll see if it was worth it or not in the end. I like Azp getting chances at assists with Higz in there too so maybe that’ll come off. Rude boy is great and early season he was winning every single header known to man in the box so maybe he can find that form again and do that again and ding us a goal wouldn’t that be sweet???

Laporte (ful, CAR)

My aforementioned City defensive cover comes in the way shape and form of Aymeric Laporte. He started vs. Swans in the cup and played 90′ as per usual and then he was off for the international break... I just think he’s very obviously first choice CB for city and after Fernandinho and Ederson he’s the next name on the team sheet. He’s also got a bit of an attacking threat as far as CBs go so maybe he’ll get me a bink and we’re flying.

Trippier (liv, CPL)

My next punt after Ryan is with Trippz... The truth is I just don’t feel good about Manchester United keeping clean sheets and I don’t want to rely on it / hope for it. I had Lindy and I had Smalling but I think that United’s two fixtures are pretty difficult and I think that their defenders are bad and Matic is bad so it felt nice to get rid. Opening myself up to getting destroyed by a United clean or two but here we are......... Everything on the internet is saying that Aurier tweaked his hammy on international duty plus KWP is a defensive sieve so gimme a fit Trippz to start both and we know his attacking qualities are extremely high. I’m hoping for one clean because the other fixture is away Liverpool and I’m hoping for an assist or a FK dong or something. I like the odds of Spurs keeping a clean home Palace over the odds of United’s clean chances in their two. Alas. Here we go.

Tomkins (HUD, tot)

Another enabler in Tomk for me... I like having one Palace guy because the home Huddy match is so delicious and Tomkins is also very dangerous on set plays. He’s the cheapest defender on the team and for me the only 100% nailed on one. If AWB were fit he’d be nailed too, Schlupp and PvA though could rest one of the two that would be very unsurprising so I’m mainly just going with safety here.

MID:

Sterling (ful, CAR)

Raz is a true love of mine and his spot was never in consideration of dropping.

Babel (MCI, wat)

My other very rogue punt is right here in Babel. Fuck it. I shouted him on the pod I’m gonna just back him and yolo. The other mid-to-cheap mids are made up of guys who are not nailed on Wolves/Watford or guys who suck like Townsend or pen merchants like Mili and I just felt reasonable with Babel. By the eye-test he’s been legitimately terrific in every match he’s started since arriving at Fulham and while the first fixture is terrible - home City - the next match away to Watford in a match where Watford will be heavily rotated and on the beach I like Babel’s chances of getting in there. He has five returns in nine starts and you can’t get much better then that from a punty enabler so here we go. Babel in. Spray painted skull cap in. Go on.

FWD:

Kane (liv, CPL)

So I’m big dick swinging in my front line with 33.8 mil spent up there so I need some big hauls... I couldn’t really get behind any of the Spurs mids because of form/fitness/rotation concerns and Kane has none of those concerns. He’s in his first bit of real form since last winter - shooting a ton, great underlying numbers, eye-test looking lethal - and I just can’t get around that fact. Sure the first fixture is terrible away to Liverpool but Kane has scored there many times and as a Liverpool supporter I’m definitely more scared of Kane or a pen then any of the mids. Then there’s home Palace which for Kane is a banker and I find it hard to imagine that he will not be putting up one of those classic Kane 8+ shots types of games where he can easily hatty and then I’m flying. Kane in a double. I can’t get around it. He has never left my tinkers all week.

Agüero (ful, CAR)

Easiest pick ever just like Raz. The fixtures, the team, the player, the form, the goals, etc etc etc... Kun in.

Higuaín (car, BHA)

And Higz was a late tinker. I was again left in a position where I just didn’t really like any of the attackers to spend money on. I mentioned the Spurs midfielders above, I didn’t feel good with Haz, I didn’t feel good with pen merchant Paul, and I went for a City defender over Dilva/Bilva and so I ended up with Higz... Giroud is tired after international duty and Higz looked SO fucking good in those two matches where he scored - home Huddy and away Fulham - that I think playing teams of basically that caliber again should leave a lot of room for his movement and first time shots and everything. I see some goals from Higz and hopefully he can get all the Chelsea attacking points over Haz :))))... I can dream at least...

CAP:

Agüero (ful, CAR)

Easy pick. Never flirted with anyone else. Go on Kun.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

TD: The Paddy Reilly Connection

Okay, so I noticed this while re-watching s3. I got super excited about it and still am. Part of it I've actually said before, but I found new evidence of it that I didn't have before, and it's got me super giddy.

So here's what happened: I talked about how I love the scene in 3x01 where Beth sings and Daryl stares at her, right? But I noticed that Hershel first suggested she sing a song called Paddy Reilly. As soon as he suggests it, Maggie chimes in saying, "No, not that one, Daddy." So he instead suggests Parting Glass, which they sing. I was curious about what Paddy Reilly was and why Maggie wouldn't want to sing it. I didn't expect it to be a TD thing. I just wanted to know.

So I looked it up.

Paddy Reilly (full title, Come Back Paddy Reilly) is well known Irish song about a coachman named Paddy Reilly...

The story goes that Paddy Reilly used to drive the writer of the song, Percy French, into the town of Balleyjamesduff for his appointments. French went away for a time, and when he returned, he found that Reilly had emigrated to the U.S. It was something many people were doing at the time because there was more work in the States, and people in Ireland were starving. But French was sad to see so many of his countrymen forced to leave their beloved Ireland to find work. He loved his homeland and especially Balleyjamesduff. So he wrote this song.

Now, it sounds a whole lot like a romantic, longing, unrequited love song. Understand, it was not actually written that way. It’s written from one man to another, but was not meant romantically. If you read the information about what it means and its history (HERE) it's widely believed that French used the name Paddy Reilly as an allegory for all Irish people who have left their homeland. It's song for all emigrants. He misses them, is sad that they've left their homeland, and wants them to come back.

Now, why am I telling you this? Let's start with the lyrics (bold emphasis mine):

The Garden of Eden has vanished, they say

But I know the lie of it still;

Just turn to the left at the bridge of Finea

And stop when halfway to Cootehill.

'Tis there I will find it,

I know sure enough

When fortune has come to me call,

Oh the grass it is green around Ballyjamesduff

And the blue sky is over it all.

And tones that are tender and tones that are gruff

Are whispering over the sea,

Come back, Paddy Reilly to Ballyjamesduff

Come home, Paddy Reilly, to me.

 My mother once told me that when I was born

The day that I first saw the light,

I looked down the street on that very first morn

And gave a great crow of delight.

Now most newborn babies appear in a huff,

And start with a sorrowful squall,

But I knew I was born in Ballyjamesduff

And that's why I smiled on them all.

The baby's a man, now he's toil-worn and tough

Still, whispers come over the sea,

Come back, Paddy Reilly to Ballyjamesduff

Come home, Paddy Reilly, to me.

 The night that we danced by the light of the moon,

Wid Phil to the fore wid his flute,

When Phil threw his lip over Come Again Soon,

He's dance the foot out o' yer boot!

The day that I took long Magee by the scruff

For slanderin' Rosie Kilrain,

Then, marchin' him straight out of Ballyjamesduff,

Assisted him into a drain.

Oh, sweet are the dreams, as the dudeen I puff,

Of whisperings over the sea,

Come back, Paddy Reilly to Ballyjamesduff

Come home, Paddy Reilly, to me.

 I've loved the young women of every land,

That always came easy to me;

Just barrin' the belles of the Black-a-moor brand

And the chocolate shapes of Feegee.

But that sort of love is a moonshiny stuff,

And never will addle me brain,

For the bells will be ringin' in Ballyjamesduff

For me and me Rosie Kilrain!

And through all their glamour, their gas and their guff

A whisper comes over the sea,

Come back, Paddy Reilly to Ballyjamesduff

Come home, Paddy Reilly, to me.

 Encore verse

 I've struck oil at last!

I've struck work, and I vow

I've struck some remarkable clothes,

I've struck a policeman for sayin' that now,

I'd go back to my beautiful Rose.

The belles they may blarney,

the boys they may bluff

But this I will always maintain,

No place in the world like Ballyjamesduff

No guril (sic) like Rosie Kilrain.

I've paid for my passage, the sea may be rough

But borne on each breeze there will be,

Come back, Paddy Reilly to Ballyjamesduff

Come home, Paddy Reilly, to me.

(Lyrics Source)

The Garden of Eden - we've seen a ton of Garden of Eden symbolism in the show. One place we saw it a lot was around Beth and Daryl in Still. (More Info: X, X)

Bridge – Remember the bridge references in S6 around Denise? (X, X)

Ireland is green, so there are lots of green references.

The ocean certainly reminds me of the Oceanside Theory. (X) So we have someone who must come back on the ocean in order to return home.

Newborn Babies – Lots of baby references around Beth. Something @boltthrutheheart and I have been hashing out. I’ll get around to doing a theory about it eventually.

“The Baby’s a man.” – Slightly different but reminds me of Carol telling Daryl in 5x06, “you used to be a boy, now you’re a man.”

“Danced by the light of the moon” – Still reference, perhaps? 

Also this dog/wolf/moon reference from S4:

Ah, my favorite. Stanza 4, line 5. This song actually has a moonshine reference.

“I struck a policeman…” – Grady anyone?

“I’ve paid for my passage…” – Gov to Tyreese: “You’ve got to pay the bill.”

“The sea may be rough…” because of the Oceanside theory, but also this: 

So you can imagine that when I read it, I was kind of jumping up and down.

So let's just state for the record that this makes total sense in the context of S3. This is an Irish song and, per his convo with Glenn in S2, Hershel is big on ancestors and knowing one's heritage. So this is a song he and his wife would have known and obviously taught their children.

I'm assuming Maggie didn't want to sing it because it would have been too painful. It talks about people who have left a person's life and aren't coming back. And there was a reference specifically to Beth's mom, so I'm assuming it was just too sad and she didn't want to hear/sing it. (To be fair, Parting Glass is also sad and talks about going away, but in that case it's the narrator going, rather than talking about others who have left. Either way, Maggie was just more comfortable with Parting Glass.)

But we have a song with all these interesting references, connected to Beth and the Greenes in general in S3, about someone who went away across the ocean. And the narrator begs them to come back.

But that is not all, my friends. No, that is not all.

I told you I'd said something about this before? Here's what I meant. Let's take a trip down memory lane to S6. In 6x08, which we all know was oozing with Beth symbolism, Daryl met Dwight and Sherry in the woods. Do you remember what they were looking for? It was a fuel truck called--that's right!--Patty. Yes, the spelling is different  but the name is the same.

There was a weirdness in this episode that made no sense at all. In fact, it was so confusing,  they had to explain on TTD that "Patty" was the fuel truck, because it didn't come across in the episode. Why would they do something that would confuse the audience? Well, because it's symbolic of course. So I figured out that the whole Patty thing was symbolic of Beth's arc. You can read the post in detail HERE, but basically Dwight and Sherry left the fuel truck behind in the chaos of what happened before. Walkers, fire, etc. When they went back in this episode to find it, it was gone. They freaked out. That's much like what we think happened with Beth. And we have evidence that people freaked out about it: 

But the analogy goes farther: Like TF, Dwight and Sherry take off without ever finding the fuel truck. At the end of the episode, Daryl finds it. There's a walker in the front which reminded us of this: 

which we've always thought symbolized Beth's awakening. He then takes the truck someplace else. So that could parallel with someone else (*coughs Morgan*) finding Beth and taking her someplace else (*coughs Grady*).

Back then, the only thing I could connect Patrick to was the Patrick that died in S4. And I still think he's connected because he was in the flashbacks of 4x16, and playing with a toy firetruck, no less. (Check out THIS POST, near the end, for my thoughts on that.) But now we have this Paddy Reilly reference, that's connected directly to Beth.

So this is just more evidence that the Patty fuel truck was an analogy for Beth. That Paddy Riley is somewhere across the sea, and people want her to come back.

Here's hoping Daryl's Patty returns to him in S8. Cheers!

[postcards-to-home]

The Moaning of Traveling & my Vietnamese  Experience

There isn’t much in this life that compares to the mysteries of the night sky as we fly through them into a darkness that amounts to such beauty at the rise and fall of each day. To hold such hope and wonder as we trapeze across oceans and continents our elementary school teachers could only glorify for us. That lust for the uknown is something we hold close to the essence of our youth. A feeling we capture only when we are so lucky to experience travel. The slight tingle of excitement that seems to drown out every inch of worry and lack of sleep that hangs from our cheek bones is the very feeling I myself had travelling those daunting ten thousand plus miles to a world our grandfathers swore was none of our concern.

Here we were, I and a group of strangers, I just entering my twenties, deciding to do what every twenty something feels they are entitled to- a mission of self-discovery. Who wouldn’t want to travel to South east Asia,the backpackers capital of the world where we hear stories of men who dress as women, disgustingly enticing street food and lots of cheap booze. Its like a weird mix of college and real life scenarios but abroad. I sure as hell didn’t think my stereotype could be any farther from the truth. With that being said it was almost as if fate had found its way to me and changed everything.

“What the f**k am I doing in Vietnam?” is quite possibly where this all started or spewed about. Some wild thought struck me in that garden of purple flowers. Clay chunks clung to my ankle like the mist of the morning to my hair. Is it so hard to feel grateful for this view of the water? It’s swirling, cascading haphazardly into some unnamed river here in the Sa Pa valley below next to those god forsaken rice paddies that blanket everything in greenness. Goddamn it I swear to god the thought of white rice pieces on the back of my tongue makes my insides quiver.

I never made it past Lao Cai, or maybe I did. I can’t quite remember much after dry heaving at the thought of the cheery eyed goose that waddled my way only to be later slaughtered out back for our chopsticks to poke at. I never really did quite get the whole one stick in the thumb, the other on the pointer finger-or something like that.

The sun was out for once in that god-forsaken valley and I had to flash a grin at that despite my situation. Oh don’t mind me,my guide just told me to get on the back of a motorbike with a 13-year-old villager who may or may not have spoken a lick of English. But hey if it wasn’t for my dry heaving episode I wouldn’t have had that fleeting feeling in my chest that tore my breath right from my lungs, right  at the sight of the concaves of Mother Nature. Straddling leather between my knees with a mouth agape at the raw greenness of mother nature- leaves only a vegan could dream up. Thick and hearty chloroplasts manifested the endless rice patties fields that kept these people breathing and mine to cease for a moment. Blonde haired, blue eyed with a wonder struck look slapped across my face, nearly dizzy with the wind and the male villagers who chose to chase instead of look. “ F**k those backpackers trying to  walk this shit.Here I am on a bike seeing all I need to see hands free and with out a drop of sweat on my neck. That was until the rain made its way and couldn’t bother to leave me high and dry-just high on life and straddling a cliffs edge.

Warm and fuzzy no more I was brought back to reality when I was dumped off in front of the sapa sisters doorstep. Sa pa was no Hanoi and there was no way around the divergence of  the peoples. The Mong in black and the Daog in green, fighting for every last Dong I had to offer. One bracelet, two bracelets a scarf and a handshake later I could see my patience dwindling, their gold fills glinting.

Few and far between were able pharmacies that spoke English . Pills with out directions led to my inevitable overdose on something similar to ibprophin and Advil. During the time I spent between whimpering in my vacant hotel room bed I dramatically pondered the thought of my passing. Would the hammer repetitively  smashing my skull ever give way? Or would the herbal healing properties of the home made ginger tea,(raw roots picked from a hillside and boiled to pulp), I was given magically cure me?

( I just wanted to add in that at this hotel in SaPa I had a horrific encounter with a very large cockroach that proceeded to crawl out of my backpack into my bed. I eventually destroyed the little sucker after an early FaceTime call to my mother to which I began panting and aggressively yelling while she calmed me down as she did countless other times through out the trip all of which I am very grateful for.)

God has a funny way of taking away our hope, giving us what we need and not necessarily what we would have chosen on the first pick. It wasn’t my first choice to decide to leave. But when I finally had to, the road was not paved-Literally and I knew it was going to be a bumpy ride. Ill spare you the details of that hour long perils van ride through the mountains. There was a lot of crying ,sniffling, and a whole lot of praying to someone I had little doubt had me in mind.  I had the false sense of security once I’d stepped out of that shanty sack of shit on wheels and finally touched solid ground. God must have been taunting my efforts at feeling well because I lasted on my feet for less than a minute before I’d passed out behind a parked care in my own throw up. “Only in Nam would I f***king be spitting gravel, having my face splashed by a near stranger.” Thank you Olivia for rescuing me, those cigarettes I smothered from Jason were well deserved.

Days passed by. We continued to travel across the country reaching Hanoi after a nine hour overnight train ride. Sleeping on bunk beds, my body continuously felt the stress of the movements weighing me down from every bump in the night to the wearing off of the  sleeping pills I’d downed.

The movement of our bodies ceased to stop as we trafficked from train, to bus and onward to which would be my final point of no return- Ha Long Bay.Ha long bay is and was one of my few favorable memories inside the country. Thousands of limestone’s islands riddle the bay creating a maze of expanse for our tiny cruise ship to meander though out. Nestled atop the isles are thousands of year old forests and shrubbery adding to the beauty of the expanse where the land meets the sea. This scatter plot of landmasses gave way to wave eroded and salt crusted grottos bountiful for exploring. Ill admit once you’ve seen one massive dripping stalactite they all look the same after that-reminiscent of piss and sulfer build up around a toilets edge. But the views from the heights of their openings are ones to adorn. Bless the French for their discoveries.The entirety of the overnight exploration on our small cruise ship had left each and every one of us mesmerized. Teetering on the cabin windowsills edge , feet dangling, it was as if time struck me silly. The whole wind in my hair, look how pretty I am could only last for so long before the moment had to end.

In the airport located outside Hanoi, I sat on the floor alone, making a small attempt to eat what looked like Chicken nuggets from Burger king but tasted like cardboard, my first solid food in almost three days. The mass of a jungle lay before me as did an empty runway and a lingering feeling that all seemed unsettled. There were parts of me slipping beneath the dark cover that always lingers two steps behind. There was also this inner light small but dim, waiting inside me, the part that had accepted defeat and would understand, not now, but maybe later what it all means.

36 hours of being alone. That’s 2,160 minutes of thinking. 129,600 seconds of waiting. Probably the only amount of math I am capable of doing. That time span was today what I think of as one of the most enduring things I’ve had to overcome. Sucking up my pride, buying a one way ticket home and pushing every limit I had to get the hell back to New York with out getting any sicker. You would think I fought In the war of 65’ the way I’ve accepted such demise. The ironic part too was at the moments I felt so fragile and needed someone most I was at the greatest loss once I realized my phone was broken with in the first hour of my departure. My last text laughably had said “ We may need an ambulance at the airport.”

Its been almost four months since I took on the endeavor and looking back I realized 2017 actually sucked. But if it hadn’t sucked  I wouldn’t have realized all the things I did. Life lesson #1- You can do anything you set your mind to is actually a thing. I accomplished virtually nothing in retrospect except how to understand myself better as a person under extreme stress and isolation and that in itself is a miracle. Perseverance  is a virtue. Live it, Breathe it and remember it. Life Lesson #2 -feelings are temporary. No matter what state you’re in it will progress either negatively or positively- that choice is up to you. With out confidence in your abilities and self worth your image of who you are will never live up to the expectations you give it. So in times of destress and hardship, take a step back and understand how this situation will make you grow as a person and find faith and peace from that. Lastly If situations in 2016 hadn’t left me feeling depressed I wouldn’t have found myself riding that damn motorbike through the valley in a storm or trying pho or even meeting someone who would teach me a lesson about life and becoming a life long friend. So have faith in the journey god maps for you, It will never cease to surprise you as long as you take the risk and hope for the best even while expecting the worst.

***All of these pictures were taken by me except for the last three :)***

[2gameprince]

The Mountains Of Death

Two officers sit in an office. One is sitting at a desk with a cup of coffee and the other stands, leaning against the blinds on windows and wall to the left side of the office door. It day is early and the rest of the precinct is quiet. The sun peaks in through the window as the seated cop looks back over his shoulder and begins conversing. "One hell of a cold morning." "You got that right." "Any word back from Jack?" "Nah. He's been dodging me all week. Guess I'm gonna have to work this weekend anyway." "Boohoo. You broken up about it?" "Not really. Didn't have plans anyways." "What, you and the old lady didn't plan a few days out of town?" "Naw. She ain't much of the traveling type." "I gotcha. Well, I just feel bad for all that paperwork you're gonna tackle." "Please, I'll be lucky if I get through twenty-five percent of it." "Hey, Mike." "Yeah, Phil?" "When you get a chance this weekend, you know, if you get around to it..." "Phil, what is it?" "If you come across it, take a look at the Parker Case, would you?" "Yeah, sure thing." "Thanks." "Uh, but, umm... why that one in particular?" "I kept going through it the other day and... I don't know. The whole thing seemed kind of... off." "Off? Like how." "You'll see for yourself, just... check it out for me, will ya?" "Yeah. Course." That weekend Phil took to his paperwork and worked the long overworked hours he had dreaded all week. Half way through his corrections and filing of cases and warrants and other papers, Phil had finally come to an envelope marked 'The Parker Case'. He read through everything and shuttered within the emptiness of the office floor. Patty, a fellow officer, caught him by the light of his desk lamp just as she was walking out. Patty spoke first. "Phil! How you been? You still here?" "Yeah, Jack couldn't cover for me, so here I am." "Oh, shit. That sucks." "Well, wasn't like I had anything planned for the week." "Right, right... oh boy. And how is Susan?" "She's good. A homebody, through and through." "Oh?" "Yeah, she's actually probably waiting up for me. I'm only stating maybe another hour or so." "Well then, I'll leave you to it." Patty turned and began to walk away. She halted and turned back as a question bolted across Phil's mind. "Wait! Patty! Before you head out, would you mind looking at this for me?" Phil hands her the Parker Case papers and she glanced over them in a moment. "Yeah, I've seen these. Word about this file's been passing around the office." "Mike brought it up a few days ago. He said I might be interested in it. Kind of disturbed though." "I know what you mean. I couldn't read the report past the first page." "Seriously?" "Yeah." "What about this part down here?" Phil takes back the papers and points towards the bottom of the Report Page. Patty leans over to look closer. Phil continues. "It says we have some of the items of the victims in evidence." "Yeah. Fancy that." "Well? You know what that means?" "No. Shoot." "It means if what the victims experienced what they chronicled experiencing in the file's journal, proof of it may exist on that film." "I guess. No ones watched their film yet. The second this case came in it was just thrown into a pile and lost. I'm shocked you stumbled upon it." "You know something? I gotta get into evidence. I gotta see that film." "You got the keys?" "No, Frank usually has them. I think I'll just put in a request with the Captain tomorrow." "Eh, you might have some trouble there, Phil." "How's that?" "The Captain was the first and only one of us to see the film. He's the reason it ended up in evidence so quick. He's been jumpy about whatever it gets brought up. He doesn't want to address it. Hell, he'll probably try and persuade you to throw the case aside if you bring it up to him." "That so?" "Yeah, Phil. Whatever the Captain saw... it did something to him." There was a short pause and Patty lowered her head and her perky nature came to a rest. "It's late. I guess I'll see you." Patty said as she turned and walked out the precinct's double doors. "Night." Phil added, bringing his attention back to the idol report. The following morning, just as Frank was coming in, Phil was already waiting by front door of the precinct and awaiting his arrival. As Frank came in the door Phil ran up to him. “Frank!” “Phil! Hey, morning!” “Yeah, yeah! Morning. Umm… Frank. Patty told me you had the keys to the evidence rom?” “Yeah, me and Stew, why?” “I was wondering if you could could let me grab something outta there real quick?” “Depends on what it is.” Frank said with a smirk. “Umm… I’m working on this file and I was running a report last night and…” “Say, Phil. You don’t look too good. You getting enough sleep?” “What? Oh! Yeah, yeah. This case has just kinda kept me up. Jack left me kinda short-handed so umm… If I could just grab this video tape out of evidence that’d be…” “Video tape? Oh, you mean that old tape in the Parker Case? Sure thing.” After Phil gets the tape he walks alongside Frank out of the evidence room. Frank locks the room back up and the two step into the main office of the police station. Frank finally hangs up his coat and Phil thanks him for the third time. “Thanks, Frank. I can’t thank you enough.” “It’s no problem. But uh… I gotta tell you. You may not like what you find on there.” “What do you mean?” “It’s gory. That’s all, really. Coulda been mistaken for a smut film or something.” “Oh, I gotcha. Well, if it’s anything like the report.” “I know. I heard. Six hikers, torn to shreds. Their tongues and eyes burned out of their heads. Ominous. Well, I tell you that video doesn’t add or take anything from the case.” “Yeah, it’s just that Mike told me to take a look at it.” “What?” “Mike. I was working late the other night and he stayed second to last. He told me take a look at it.” “Ah. Umm…” “Frank, what’s the matter?” “Uh, I don’t know how to say it, Phil…” “Just say it, come on.” “Mike died last month. Car accident, remember?” There was a short silence as Phil scrambled for what to say. “Right. Yeah. I knew that.” “Phil, you sure you’re okay?” “Yeah. Completely. I’m just a little tired. Long couple of night.” “Ah, Jack. Right.” The thought stuck with Phil as he snuck away. Around eight he went home, popped pills to stay awake and finally sat down to review the videotape. What he saw chilled him to the bone. Finally, he could see that which everyone in his department had seen and wished to never view again. On the tape was nothing explainable. There was a force. A force which came down from the Appalachian Mountains and defiled nine hikers. It wasn’t until Phil decided to take advantage of his days off and investigate the mountains that the true horror behind the case revealed itself to him. The following morning Phil sat at his desk, packing up paperwork for his venture out to the site of the Parker Case murders. As he is finishing up packing, Patty spots him from across the room and walks up to his desk. “Hey, Paddy. You mind grabbing my mail for the week?” “Sure thing, but whatever for?” “Taking a short vacation. I been working overtime and Frank though it’d be a good idea.” “May I ask where?” “Well, though it may be strange, up to the mountains.” “The mountains?” “Yup.” Phil was uninterested in elaborating while straightening papers on his desk. “From the Parker Case?” “That’s them.” “Oh.” Patty seemed a little disturbed. “May look at the case more, but this trip is mainly for rest.” “Does Frank know about this?” “No, but I’d really appreciate it if it stayed that way.” Patty sighed. “Sure thing.” Phil smirked. “You’re an angel.” Phil finally finished packing up his briefcase and stood to walk away. Before he walked far Patty called him from behind. “Phil.” “Yeah?” “The other night you said something. I was curious.” “Yeah?” “You brought up Mike…” “Oh, lemme stop you. I know. I was just tired is all.” “Oh, okay.” She said with a smile. “Good to know.” “Hey, Pat.” “Yes?” “Thanks again.” Phil then made his way out the front doors of the police station and into car service where he reached the mountains a few ours later. He took up residency in a cabin he had rented and by the end of the week Phil Myers was missing. Nowhere to be found. Just as the officer had gone missing the Parker Case File he had taken with him, as well as the videotape he stole from the station, had all disappeared as well. That was, until the only thing left of the case was a building full of people who had studied the phenomenon upon the Appalachian Mountains, but would speak of it to no one. Since then whisperers within the precinct have dubbed the range ‘The Mountains of Death’. A fitting name to a place which, as of 1997, had claimed its most recent victim.