#It's Crowley's influence

[insanity-laughs-under-pressure]

There's a new Amazon advert where a girl watches Good Omens then buys plants and a plant mister. And I'm not gonna lie, that's a very accurate representation of what happens after watching Good Omens for the first time.

[hg-aneh]

youtuber x streamer AU:

Aziraphale tries Tiktok LIVE edition

[time-woods]

so i finally watched good omens after years of putting it off. . .

this is how i cope with most things

[dingledraw]

A comic based on one of my fav fics: “The Gift” by entanglednow on AO3. Pages 1-5

Next

[seance]

the power is on, the guillotine hums / my back's to the wall - go on, let it fall

[tonydaddingham]

when all is said and done though, i think we have to acknowledge that the real mvp of the story, through no fault of her own, is sister mary loquacious <3

[sapphic-bats]

GUYS I FOUND HIM

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Good Omens incorrect quotes:

Aziraphale: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Crowley, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

~

Aziraphale: Violence isn't the answer.

Crowley: You’re right.

Aziraphale: *sighs in relief*

Crowley: Violence is the question.

Aziraphale: What?

Crowley, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Aziraphale, running after them: NO-

~

Aziraphale: Do you take constructive criticism?

Crowley: I only take cash or credit.

~

Aziraphale: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Crowley: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

~

Aziraphale: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Crowley: What did you do?

Aziraphale: Nobody died.

Crowley: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

~

Aziraphale: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Crowley: Killed without hesitation.

Aziraphale: No.

~

*how season 3 should start*

Aziraphale: Top 30 reasons why Aziraphale is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!

Crowley: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!

~

Crowley: You're right.

Aziraphale: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

~

Beelzebub: I’m going to take you out

Gabriel: great, it’s a date!

Beelzebub: I meant that as a threat.

Gabriel: See you at five!

~

Crowley: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.

*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*

Gabriel: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

~

Beelzebub: I made tea.

Crowley: I don’t want tea.

Beelzebub: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Crowley: Then why are you telling me?

Beelzebub: It is a conversation starter.

Crowley: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Beelzebub: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

~

Aziraphale: This is bothering me.

Crowley: Well, you are digging up a corpse.

Aziraphale: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

~

Aziraphale: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?

Gabriel, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons

Aziraphale:

Aziraphale: fsh

~

Crowley: God, give me patience.

Gabriel: I think you mean 'give me strength'.

Crowley: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

~

Aziraphale: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.

Crowley: That's why I carry two swords.

~

Gabriel: So what’s for dinner?

Beelzebub, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

~

Muriel: Why are you on the floor?

Crowley: I'm depressed.

Crowley: Also I was stabbed, can you get Aziraphale, please.

~

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Fell please come to the front desk?

Aziraphale, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Crowley and Muriel

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Crowley and Muriel, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Aziraphale: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

~

Muriel: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Crowley: The cow???

Muriel: What?

Aziraphale: Crowley, W H Y?

~

Aziraphale: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Crowley?

Crowley: … No.

Muriel: I do!

Aziraphale: I know, Muriel.

Muriel: I’m sad!

Aziraphale: I know, Muriel.

~

Muriel: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Crowley: The car takes a screenshot.

Aziraphale: For the last time, get the fuck out.

~

Crowley: Aziraphale and I don’t use pet names.

Nina: I see. Hey, what are those things with the halos called again??

Crowley: Angel?

Aziraphale: Yes, dear?

Crowley:

Nina: Don't ever lie to my face again.

~

Muriel: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.

Crowley: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Aziraphale isn’t

~

Aziraphale: We need a distraction.

Crowley: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?

Muriel, whispering: My time has come

~

Aziraphale: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Muriel: Okay, but in my defense, Mr. Crowley bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Aziraphale: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

~

Aziraphale: Crowley, keep an eye on Gabriel today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Crowley: Sure, I’d love to see Gabriel get punched.

Aziraphale: Try again.

Crowley, sighing: I will stop Gabriel from getting punched.

~

Maggie: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Crowley: I'm a knife.

Aziraphale, from across the room: They're the little spoon.

~

Aziraphale, driving Crowley and Muriel: So how was your day?

Muriel: We almost got surprise adopted!

Aziraphale: What?

Crowley: We almost got kidnapped.

Aziraphale: Oh, okay.

Aziraphale: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?

~

Aziraphale: You have to apologize to Gabriel

Crowley: Fine.

Crowley: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

~

Crowley: Hey angel,

Aziraphale: Yes?

Crowley: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Aziraphale:

Aziraphale: Where’s Gabriel?

~

Aziraphale: WHY. why did you give Muriel a KNIFE?!

Crowley: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe.

Aziraphale: Now I feel unsafe!

Crowley: I’m sorry.

Crowley: ... would you like a knife?

~

Muriel: Hey, Mr. Crowley? Can I get some dating advice?

Crowley: Just because I’m with Aziraphale doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

~

Aziraphale: Crowley and I are having a baby.

Muriel: That's gre-

Aziraphale, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

~

Muriel: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Crowley: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Aziraphale: In that case, we're definitely lost

~

Muriel: What do you think Mr. Crowley will do for a distraction?

Aziraphale: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Aziraphale: ... or they could do that.

~

Aziraphale: I trust Crowley.

Muriel: You think they know what they're doing?

Aziraphale: I wouldn't go that far.

~

Aziraphale: While I’m gone, Muriel, you’re in charge.

Muriel: Yes!!!

Aziraphale, whispering: Crowley, you’re secretly in charge.

Crowley: Obviously.

~

Aziraphale: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Crowley: *turning to Gabriel* How tall are you?

[whim-prone-pirate]

how many times does neil gaiman have to specifically refuse to Word-Of-God anything before y'all take the hint—

he is the biggest supporter of fandom that there is, his own and in the broadest of senses. "is [x] canon?" is such an easily answerable question given that he has answered it twenty five times on one tumblr account. so, to reiterate, again, on his behalf:

book canon is stated in the book. tv canon is shown on screen.

anything that neil has said about his own characters outside of that specific and clearly laid out guideline is considered his own headcanon and opinion. there is no wrong or right version of aziraphale or dream or coraline. however you have decided to personalize these characters to help you love them does not make them any less real. Your Crowley is yours, and he is just as real as Neil's Crowley.

stop worrying. genuinely. you don't have to go searching for canon in the various gaimanverses because it's all been laid out in front of you since inception. you're all fine.

in neil's own words (possibly paraphrased as i don't have the post in front of me): "your characters are safe, and no one is going to take them away from you." not even neil.

[samael-your-guardian-angel]

It's maybe an hour into the plant playdate, when the babylions reach out again.

Samael, I'm scared of death.

I don't want to doom...

...Meep?

Are we pretty and fabulous enough?

@thebabylions

Whoa, hey, where'd all this come from?

Look, uh... how do I explain death to little baby plants you don't have to be scared of Death. He's a decent guy. And, uh, he doesn't come for anyone until they're ready. So, there'll be no doom outside my building, alright?

And of course you're pretty and fabulous enough. Look at those leaves! So green! Great job!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

(places a shiny coin on the desk in front of Crowley and Miss Raven) I heard that gifts like these may be of interest to you, but unfortunately I only have one on hand... you may decide amongst yourselves who shall accept it.

Finding Nemo seagulls be like: mineminemineimineimineminemineimineminemineimineminemineminemineimineimineminemineimineminemineimineminemineminemineimineimineminemineimineminemineimineminemineminemineimineimineminemineimineminemineimineminemineminemineimineimi--

Enter; An Unkindness of Ravens.

"MINE!"

The word was uttered simultaneously as two bodies lunged to grab at the single glittering disc. Its meager value was of no consequence--the shine was what had enraptured and excited.

The birds' torsos flattened against the surface of the desk, hands slammed over the coin in a desperate mound. You contained a laugh from the other side. It was a cartoonish sight, something straight out of a comedy sketch.

The more agile of the two had gotten to the coin first.

"... Raven-kun," Crowley drawled, "what are you doing?"

"I..." She blinked, shaking off the sparkle-induced daze. "I don't know what came over me, Uncle. I was moving before my mind had even processed it."

"You're forgiven for not thinking before acting, my dear niece. It happens to the best of us! Now kindly release your hold on the coin so that I may collect it, and we can all be on our merry way."

"Wait." Challenge rose as her fingers curled around the money. "Even if I hadn't intended to claim it for myself, the fact remains that I was the first to reach it. Therefore, it stands to reason that I am deserving of the coin regardless of my conscious intent.”

"E-Excuse me?!" Crowley sputtered, utterly aghast. “But this is a generous donation to Night Raven College! You wouldn’t think of embezzling school funds, would you?!”

“This would hardly cover anything. Besides, Night Raven College already receives ample donations. A single coin won’t be missed there. Let me have this, Uncle.”

The headmaster choked out a fake-sounding sob. "To think that I would suffer betrayal at the hands of my own niece...! What a cruel, unkind heart! Where did I go wrong with raising you?!"

"S-Stop that!" Raven's typically demure voice had taken on a shrill quality. "You know as well as I do that you haven't served as my guardian since my hatching from the egg, nor are you entirely clean of unscrupulous behavior yourself! If you mean to guilt trip me into giving in, it won't work. Not this time…! I’ve earned this fair and square!”

"Well, I NEVER! Accusing your own uncle of acting unscrupulous?! You are grounded after this. Do you hear me, young lady? You’re to stay in the attic and think about what you’ve said!”

“Fine, I shall!"

“Fine! See if I care!"

Your head volleyed back and forth between Crowley and Raven. What had started off as a little prank had quickly escalated into petty screeching and squabbling between two birds.

Whoa, this intense of a family feud over a sorcent? I should have brought a bucket of popcorn with me.

[ech-e-sketch]

When you go to report back to heaven and they ask you why you look emo

[hg-aneh]

youtuber x streamer AU: Coming Out Stream Edition 💥

[rustic-ghoul]

Today I went to a local theatre info evening fully expecting to just have a little chat with the chairperson about helping out with backstage stuff. I then ended up joining in with the dance and singing workshop and I somehow left this evening signing up to do an audition this Saturday 😱 wtf!!! Why have I done this? What am I going to do?!?! 🙈 I haven’t done anything like this before!l in my life!!!

But in all seriousness I actually think reading all these wonderful stories about the ineffable husbands and more so those stories about Aziraphale (usually human!AU’s) gaining confidence have helped me do so as well. So, that’s pretty cool. Thank you Good Omens and GO fandom ☺️

Keep creating with love and passion because you never know who or how it’s going to help. 💙🖤

[lickthecowhappy]

Is Aziraphale an Accidental War-Monger?

Aziraphale mentions three years in which he was compelled to do the “I Was Wrong” dance. The three years he lists (1650, 1793, and 1941) were all years during which historically significant wars occurred. I submit that Aziraphale contributed to events leading to the wars. That he did these things against the advice of Crowley, who either told him it would backfire, or simply said to let it be. And when he and Crowley met up after the events unfolded to result in war, Crowley said, “I told you so” and demanded the dance.

See some theories below the cut, and please feel free to continue the discourse if you are more knowledgeable in these areas of history. I think there could be so many good theories out there for people more learned than myself.

1650 | The Anglo-Scottish war / The English Third Civil War

Oliver Cromwell, a prominent figure in this war, was pretty zealous. Maybe Aziraphale thought that a staunchly religious man like Cromwell would make righteous and just decisions, only later to find that zealotry wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Or maybe he tried to avoid conflict altogether by convincing the northern leader, David Leslie, to fall back and refuse to fight. Either way, a war started. 

1793 | The French Revolution / War of the First Coalition

What if Aziraphale influenced people in the French government to assist with the American revolution, thinking it was a noble cause to help out this burgeoning nation with ideals of “liberty and equality.” The debt France incurred by allying against the British contributed to the political instability eventually leading to the war. 

1941 | World War 2

Maybe Aziraphale was influential in the drafting of the Treaty of Versailles and convinced them to put in Article 231; a controversial article of the treaty requiring that Germany accept legal responsibility for WW1. In an effort to convince people to take responsibility for their actions, he may have inadvertently created something later used to radicalize german sentiment and fuel fascism leading to WW2.

2023

He blew up his halo fighting the demons in the bookshop which could constitute an act of war.

Post Script Disclaimer: The above is a comedy-based analysis based on the concept of folly. This is not an attack on Aziraphale’s character, just an analysis on what I think would be excellent comedy writing.

[marauderingpaige]

Okay, but if I don’t see Jesus Christ on a motorbike in season three I think I might cry.