#It's 3 am where I live rn
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"Wait, was that a compliment?"
#I wanted to redraw this scene so bad#It's 3 am where I live rn#the gay hedgehogs kept me awake I can't stop thinking about them <33#sth#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonadow#sonic prime spoilers#sonic prime#.popsicles!
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HIGH SCHOOL FRENEMY | LIVE RECAP
#high school frenemy#high school frenemy the series#nani hirunkit#sky wongravee#skynani#my edits#am i a little bit obsessed with them and hsf??? MAYHAPS#anyways#this is a very self-indulgent set so ignore me pls <3#i simply had to make this bc of the second gif 🤏🏻😌#i also want to gif the part where nani fell out of his chair during this live#but i'm gonna do that tomorrow since it's past 3 am rn 😭#high school frenemy cast
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breaking the law and outing myself on the internet because i'm showcasing my senior dance thesis on april 28 at 6:30 and 8:30 pm Eastern Standard Time and i want You to see it
we don't have a livestream link yet but we will. in the meantime look at these cool posters and this cool blurb. ok now save the date SEE YOU SOON
#my stuff#my art#these posters went through 14 separate drafts. it was a harrowing and difficult experience#i am Fully Going through it which means 1) physical health is suffering 2) social life also but 3) the thing is going to be so fucking good#sarus is gonna be the best thing ive ever made when we finish it. i Know it#so i want you to see it because it's one of those ambitious stories where everything's bigger than life#and the world is old and young and scary and kind and people live fearlessly and with cowardice#BUT EVERYTHING WILL BE OK. IF YOU JUST KEEP WALKING. this is going to be one of those stories#so many dance blurbs and descriptions are like stupid technical like oh we explored the effect of weighing down our hands and feet#on our Center of Gravity and how it altered the rotational momentum of turns and jumps#or else they're stupid esoteric like oh the wind blew..... and the children wept and all over the world the oceans rose... (global warming)#so i was determined to make this blurb (which is going in the schoolwide email blast) accessible and provocative#and inviting#in a provocative way#im very Locked in rn. im Hyperfocused as fuck. i am not eating as well asi should be but IM TRYING#AND THATS WHAT MATTERS#im inviting all of u bc this is a piece that is going to try and say something and i want everyone ive ever loved to hear it#oghey bye
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realizing im actually a femme has made gender fun again
#femme as in butch/femme#not femme as in vaguely feminine#the early years of butch me was the same but i quickly ran into a wall but didnt do much about it#since i was at the time in a relationship that kinda depended on me being a butch#but with that behind me i feel like a plant exposed to sun for the first time in a long time#i hold no ill-will toward my ex i hope theyre living their best life rn & i wish nothing but the best for them#i just think i was attracted to the dynamic from the wrong end lol#because butch/femme is everything to me & the period where i identified as neither felt hollow#& so i gambled on femme & turns out my hunch was right all along#that said i am well and truly femme4all i just have a preference for butches <3#femme4meat or something like that#femme4femme can be fun i just need to find a compatible power-bottom lmao
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not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....
#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3#talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut#SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time#the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me#sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression#this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma#but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa#and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age#and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID#so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them#to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate#hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself#and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside#somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before#2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces#the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah#i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok
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What other fandoms do you think you’d write for? Or are you strictly an HP writer?
PS. Love ATWMD and THTF. Your writing is impeccable.
i’ve written a captive prince & succession fic as well so! & have also briefly written fics in some other fandoms when i was much younger which r now too embarrassing 2 name lmao
honestly not sure what other fandoms i’d write for it honestly just comes down 2 whether i’m gripped w an idea for certain characters…would love 2 escape hp fandom lol but i think part of why it’s sucked me in so bad is that i like fucking around w the holes in the canon universe…like most of the marauders fic i’ve written has been either canon compliant or canon divergent & me going “hmmm what would these characters do in this context” & now bc i’ve spent so much time thinking abt & writing them it’s just also becoming easy 2 plug these characters into aus 🤧
actually thinking abt my fic writing experience generally the thing that tends 2 make me wanna write fic is if there’s something abt canon that i wanna patch in…like my captive prince fic is just canon but from a different character’s pov & my succession fic is just “what if kenstewy were canon” lol. have thought abt writing aftg from andrew’s pov & the first book of the feverwake duology from dara’s pov simply bc that’s something i enjoyed doing w atyd & captive prince but never actually did…guess i could also see myself potentially writing spn fic if i came up w an idea i liked…& honestly i think if i ever reread trc i might go crazy for real & could then potentially decide 2 write fic who knows. but atp i feel like marauders fic has just become my comfort zone…it’s just a weird balance to strike where a story has to have characters i love but be unsatisfying (poorly written/queerbait/not actually queerbait but i’m delusional/would be fun 2 see from another character’s pov) enough that there r gaps i wanna fill. so like there r various stories/franchises/series i’ve loved where i’ve just never felt compelled at all 2 read or write fic bc i got everything i wanted out of the story etc!
#when i was texting my twin after we both finished tsc i was like ugh should i just write my own sequel rn i don’t wanna wait….#& she was like yeah and send it 2 me lol#but!! i have other projects 2 work on & i trust nora i wanna see how the series plays out….#pondering more & realizing that like. when it comes 2 pov rewrites i am always drawn 2 the same type of character#like gimme a story w a bastard love interest who has suffered horrible abuse & knows things the mc doesn’t#& i will be like wow. i want the whole story all over again from their pov….#many similarities between dara & laurent & andrew & atyd sirius….#my favorite type of guy <3#anyway i do feel like i am running out of things 2 say abt hp canon…#like after wfrau think i’ll be at a point where i’ll have 2 figure out if like#i wanna start just plugging these characters into aus or write fic for other fandoms or try 2 actually write original fiction lol#honestly dara feverwake pov haunts me i love that book sm & ik me & all of 5 people would be having the time of our lives…#ask
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its me and my inability to compromise against the world
#i hate it when plans are changed i fucking hate it so much#i desperately need to rant about this im having an awful time ..Augh#my dad lost his job and is selling his house. we have at MOST 3 weeks to get out of here#so wrre moving to the house next to my moms. my grandpa owned b4 he died. HOWEVER#i hate that house its dirty as hell. i cant live with my mom theres barely 2 rooms there and i currently sleep on a couch in the living roo#there are 3(?) bedrooms where my dad is moving and they are SIGNIFICANTLY smaller than. literally everything#so well have. not a lot of space. not to mention that all the rooms are shaped so fucking weird. shitty old house bonus#literally everything has the fucking landlord special cause my mom used to rent it except all of the tennants were jerks#so the house has A Vibe. /neg. and its a weird combo of dustu and sticky#Im getting off topic.#i was allowed to choose my room a while back and we all agreed on everything and made plans and thought everything was set in stone#the room i was supposed to get is small asf and has slanted walls. (attic room ig) but it was fine#but my mom was like noo! actually! your older brother is getting that room! we never agreed on anything!!#whicj is AWFUL#i HATE CHANGE#AND. i wish you could see the room im supposed to have now but im at My dad's rn#its so fucking small. the water heater is in there. there's a low hanging fucking duct pipe or whatever right by the door#its pink#it smells like shit#ots right next to the washer and dryer.#there is no light. i hate it so much#ITS SMALL. AND JUST FUCKING SUCKS#i might sound like a dick but everything is so stressful rn i dont want to move school starts in 2 weeks i dont know my schedule i don't#have anyone to talk to. we're all fucking broke as hell and my mom refuses to help my dad because. i dont even know why#sorry. btw#i need someone to talk to so bad#they won't get me a therapist because 1 its not covered by insurance and 2 my dad lost his job and said insurance#i can't get a job because i can't drive and am so mentally fucked up and its so hard for me to do literally anything#i cry at the most insignificant situations and im always on the verge of tears#i get overstimulated so easy i can't fucking do this
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"oohh im going to remove my car battery myself" oh okay sure mr. doesn't own any tools, namely, a wrench.
#i mean i do own some tools#aka a few screwdrivers. a hammer. and some multitools.#but multitool pliers can NOT replace a wrench </3#i shouldve bought that pink toolset from ikea when i was eyeing it#now i have to wait until the weekend to b saved by my dad and his toolbox#but i was soo pumped to do some car stuff other than like changing the lights or something simple like that#i mean i was scared but towards the end i got excited about it 😔#i wouldnt even need to take the battery out if i had a garage. then i could just plug the charger in#i cant do that rn bc. where am i going to get the electricity from. i dont have an extender long enough to reach my car from the 2nd floor#leevi talks#i need someone with tools to live near me gdvhdjjd#edit: HOLD ON a friend of my dads is coming to the city i live in tonight so he might be able to drop off dads tools for me omg
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All the rouges come after midnight.
Idk why but they do and it's funny because some of them have serious beef with each other and show up at the same time and argue until their order's done.
-Sam
#also my CAT'S STILL MISSING#cali come home pleaseeeee#I'm sorry I haven't been feeding you 10 times a day like you want me to#you know I can't afford that#dc rp#dc#dc rp blog#dc oc rp#a tired gothamite#only in gotham#dcau#dcu#ooc: no I don't care it is 12:14 AM where I live right now#no I do not care it is like 3 am where gotham 'is' rn
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the london rental market is in the toilet somebody give me an affordable place to live that isn’t a dump
#PLEEEASE#also some good option i found are like in fucking WIMBELDON which is wrong side of the river and city to where i am currently and where i#need to be for work meaning that 1) it’s still not cheap so im not saving money on rent and 2) i spend wayyyyyy more than I can afford on#the tube to get to east london and 3) it’s sooo far i like being 20mins max from central like i am rn why is my landlord selling :(#sell it to me for the £800 pounds i have to my name ive lived here for 2 years i think i deserve it :(
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sometimes I forget how bad my black outs used to be when specific other alters fronted but I just found an entire sketchbook cover to cover full of art and ocs I don't recognize in a style that's hardly mine from my last really really low point a number of years ago. wild. who's shit is this lol
#where i am in life rn i host easy and tend to cofront if anyone else fronts#but there are large periods of very very very bad times in my life that are just a blank wall to me bc someone else took over hosting#and i dont even know who it is!#it was probably the worst when i lived with my aunt after my grandparents died bc i was around a little bit#but i would lose so much time and so many convos and arguments and stuff that i would then not act upon bc. they were redacted#i have a vague idea of who that was at least (which id call him 13) but when i was still back home? or working at sky harbor?#no clue. i dont think they were the same alters as each other or as 13 🤔#but still. a WHOLE sketchbook?? i dont recognize 99.999% of this art or 75% of the ocs. insane#*grocery store loudspeaker* excuse me there are several lost children can someone come to the front of the store and claim them#lol#i wonder if 13 and bulldog have any relation hmm#<- insane on main <3
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Tryin 2 do portfolio shit…. I’m gonna find a way to make this fun if it kills me ok?
#ignore that the butlers a poorly edited png of the butler from that one shitty episode where Danny gets rich. living large.#could NOT be assed 2 design a guy#also ignore that I cannot draw circular stairs it’s ok <3 I know blender it’s fineeeeee#‘’know blender’’ it’s more accurate 2 say I am capable of brute forcing blender#which is Good Enough for making layouts of shit <3#just redoing gonna model this in blender+paint over it later rn I’m in bed+sleepy+cozy tho so snzzz#wip#my art#also I wanna make the peacock chandelier one of those things u spin and it does a little animation#my brains saying ‘’rotoscope’’ that’s NOT rights but like. it’s close I think#like the word I mean. techniques rn’t related#also wanna add clutter BUT also the house needs 2 be desolate+unused outside of a few rooms#imo#so figuring out clutter that fits the vibe is a must#like marble statues+that kinda thing maybe?
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thinking about my oc Bytte. and. her gender is Aro. her Aromanticism is inextricable from her gender experience.
#toy txt post#i love to make an alloaro oc whos a woman navigating a usually masculine role in society far before we ever coined aromanticism#whos Aromanticism informs so much about her but with no language to adequately describe it she doesnt really know how#and so she does kinda blow up her relationships by accident bc she does Want human connection#and what she Wants is to fuck someone whos friends with her and chill about it who will just be fucking Normal about it#and Not Make It A Big Thing and also for other people to not make it a big thing and they can hang out and be friends#but never fucking domesticize her. and its in part a rejection of the misogynistic role of Wife in historic (and even modern) society of#course but its also a rejection of the relationship hierarchy of Wife. of the romanticization. bc of her circumstances the only role on#offer of course has been Wife. but in the hypothetical situation where she was offered the role of Husband? she would at first probably#accept that. in theory. it sounds fine. sure. but if she tried to LIVE like that. to Live even as a Husband. it would Also be Wrong. to put#any of her relationships into that framework is to fundamentally ruin them forever. and she is living in a society that wants that to be#the only framework. anyway its crazy how ive made a character like that exactly Twice at least#(Bytte and Lucille. Bytte is a bit more genderfucky than Lucille. Lucilles gender is also ugly violent scary woman. for reasons)#both of these characters rn are cis. well. not /cis/ cis but theyre afab and women bc i want to explore that but i am thinking lately about#a transfem take. to explore. ive considered it and i dont think i want that for Bytte? all that means is watch out for future ocs#i could do a character very similar to Bytte as transfem and it would be really good but theres something about#and honestly it would probably make more SENSE for Bytte? due to gender roles in like ancient sparta or whatever?#but if shes transfem in sparta i think there would be subtle nuanced differences in how ppl interact w her that i dont necessarily want for#her? if that makes sense. i know this reasoning sounds weak in a vacuum but i Promise i have way more characters than this and i do want to#explore things differently. i promise there are complex transfem characters in witchverse and also complex characters whos asab im not#decided on yet. there are some im not sure i ever want to be decided on? the downside of being incredibly specific about fictional#characters is that it doesnt leave you all room for headcanons#sorry. good news is you can go make your own ocs about it 👍 idk. much to explore. much to think about#also sometimes a ''''cis'''' character CAN have a fun gender to play with honestly its just that mainstream media Never does#so theres no good way to be like no but listenn i swear its fun#anyway this is all moot cos im not a fucking writer im just making up little guys and doing nothing#also anyway. i think my gender is also aro and a little ace. personally. also before u get mad at me about these 2 ocs being like#probelmatic aro rep or smth: 1) aforementioned its moot anyway im not even a writer 2) these arent the only alloaro ocs i have its just#funny that i made this one twice lmao 3) my brain is huge. my ocs are rad. suck my ass. ♡#if only i Was a writer tho god. thered be sooooo many aro characters fr fr
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Friendly reminder that the northern lights are pretty strong tonight too <3
#it was stronger over the us/canda last night but now its over europe/russia#i doubt anyone in germany will see it but its most likely visible in denmark and the uk#i cant see it where i am rn and im in the orange zone so well. i cant be lucky all the time 🤷#(also for people living in central europe. it's more normal to see it there than in the us. so other times will come <3)#aurora borealis#northern lights
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“i’m not the bad guy you think i am”
“i got a boat that can get us off the island… we gotta get out of here, it’s better if we work together”
“they’re going to find john b and your sister” “sucks for them, that’s good for us tho”
“i told you we just had to work together”
“i can give you a ride out, drop you wherever, somewhere safe”
“i know your friends and my sister are on the island, i’m not helping them, i can’t trust them okay… i’ll give you a ride out but not them”
“i mean i always liked you kie, you’re at least half kook”
+
“i just lose control in moments like that, i’m trying to get better” kiara nodding along and her small “okay” as he explains himself
and her “oh god” and teary eyes when he starts slapping himself
HOW is this canon we were fed a full course meal 😭
okay anon you did it-- this delicious assortment of canon dialogue is the straw that broke the camel's back bc now i've got a new fic in the works directly based off of the line “i can give you a ride out, drop you wherever, somewhere safe”
or, the one where sarah was right and ward/rafe are the ones after them and rafe accidentally kidnaps kiara instead of sarah and uses her as extortion >:)
#and also the “im not the bad guy you think i am” line..... did i not have that in chap 3 of bad habit??#bc i remember writing something like that bc of the darkling and felt rafe was angsty enough to say some shit like that#feeling so happy with canon rn#living life loving life <3#anyway for the new fic (no ETA at all rn) it'd be kiara being taken back to Guadeloupe#and forced proximity (the greatest trope ever imo) where she's trying to get away but there's literally no way to and rafe is all#"???? wtf are u tryin to do ur safe here???#and kiara is very much Not for that and is always like “they're gonna come for me”#and he's an absolute dick and is very much “hm sure how sweet”#ANYWAY#it'd be a morally grey kiara which i'm gonna need to roll up my sleeves to do but the way i'm seeing it its totally possible#absolute carnage of them getting involved in some dark ass underbelly of illegal markets for the cross#i need to figure out how long it's gonna be first and work with that#reluctant allies ultimately#enemies with benefits#asks#riara
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all my stuff is FINALLY moved out of my apartment, got another package shipped off halfway across the country juuuust in time, my flight back home is on monday, literally i can almost fucking taste lake michigan babeyyyyyyy
#the moving/storage company came 2 hours late bc they miswrote my address on their gps</3 alas.#anyways. im basically living out of my suitcase until my flight but besides that it's SUMMER BREAKKKKK FUCK YEAH#<- has gotten like 6 hours of sleep in the past 4 days total#all i have to do now is wipe down the fridge and take out some trash and im basically DONE. jesus fucking christ. im so tired.#sometimes im like. is it normal to miss your hometown so much. i feel like im never as happy as i am back there. im always just a little#bit sad here where im living rn.........
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