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#It’s hard to be empathetic toward people when you considered the average person to be lower than you
chuchayucca · 5 months
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The length is fine!! I love long posts just diving into thoughts
Honestly, as shit of a human being the uncle is, his entire relationship and dynamic with Richard is just. SO fascinating to me. Even in scenarios where Richard WASN'T abused by his brother, he still had to live with him as he grew up, and deal with his whole... Thing. I wanna know their dynamic sooooo bad
Also!! Oh my god I didn't even think of Richard's drinking being connected to his abuse, that's SUCH a good idea
Though that does give me the sweet idea of Carmen trying to help Richard with his alcoholism, maybe even chewing his brother out for enabling it
Same here, Richard can be an intriguing character because of his relationships alone. I’m curious too, even without the possibility of abuse, what was life like for the both of them? Did Richard ever suspect anything? I also wonder if the Carmen and Richard are in the cult theory is true, because if so, was it the Uncle would trick them into it?
Richard has a few things going for with him and I’m a bit bummed out, the fandom doesn’t pay attention to him as much as Carmen, and when they do, he’s just Carmen’s husband.
TW Discussions about fictional CSA and SA and alcoholism
Thank you. It made sense to add because CSA and SA victims are more likely to abuse substances to cope with the abuse and trauma. There‘s specific personalized reasons why victims turn to substances.
Richard turned to them to improve his low self-esteem, feelings of loneliness and inadequacy, his mental health in general, and later feelings of shame, when his parents found out because he believe it was his fault his brother was caught and treated him differently afterwards. Outside reasons for his alcoholism are his friends thinking his drinking made him cool and could also underage drink with him because the Uncle would supplied them. The Uncle had his own motivation for this.
Again trigger warning because unfortunately I have to talk about this sicko’s actions and reasons to explain his character.
He gave Richard alcohol as a bribe to not tell anyone about the abuse. First it started when Richard became uncomfortable with the “games” so the Uncle would persuade him to continue by buying him toys after the ordeal. This continued until Richard turned 13, by then the Uncle realized toys weren’t affective anymore, and that alcohol would help Richard forget what happened. It also helped with the Uncle’s image as he looked like the cool older brother to Richard’s friends so they didn’t suspect anything.
Throughout of Richard’s life, Carmen has been very supportive of him. Despite what people think of Carmen, I do believe she genuinely does care for her love ones and will help them.
Oh that’s another good scene idea, the Uncle finally receiving some sort of consequences. Hope you don’t mind this, but that scene did gave me a possible direction for Carmen and the Uncle’s relationship.
Carmen is somewhat skeptic of the Uncle and is assertive towards him when she needs to be, compared to Richard. I don’t think I can stressed how much of a positive impact Carmen had on Richard’s life here. Carmen was one of the few people to take Richard’s drinking and his problems in general seriously, was and is still supportive of him, weaken the grip his brother had on him once she became a active person in his life, help Richard become his own person, and was the push he needed to improve himself. Of course the relationship went through hardships because of Richard’s problems with intimacy and alcoholism and Carmen’s own flaws but in the end Richard got better because he finally had some form of support.
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greetings-inferiors · 4 months
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Kouki Midori (HIS NAME IS LITERALLY MR GREEN LMAOOOOOOOOO) is one of the protagonists for my Personal Persona Project, Persona: Green. He’s an 18/19 year old first year uni student, average height, medium length hair, pretty average guy really. He’s kind hearted, with some trickster energy when he’s in a funny mood. He’s very empathetic, and loves hanging out with and interacting with others. He’s quite the optimist, too, believing that worrying about things only leads to too much worrying, and it’s best to move forward and tackle problems. This leads to a problem when he has issues which can’t be easily solved, in which case he tends to just… ignore them. He’s looking forward to his time at uni, being quite skilled at both the arts and sciences, though he intends to pursue solely the sciences. If only he had reason to, say, tutor someone studying literature (foreshadowing). He wears bright colours, like green and yellow, though his wardrobe is pretty basic once you get past the bright colour palette, shirts, jumpers, shorts, and trousers. He gravitates towards people that need his help, so the party members he forms social links with, Miyuki, Safie, Nenji, and Tsuneko, are all those that he can help find purpose and meaning in life, whether that be helping Safie find a passion in the human world, or helping Tsuneko cope with and live around her disability.
His persona is Arthur, of the Sun arcana, legendary king of England. He manifests as a knight in smooth, gleaming white and yellow armour, with a helmet in one hand and jewelled sword in the other, his hair flowing behind him. He is atop a steed, or at least half a steed, made of that same metal. His element is Holy/light, but he also functions as a healer. He maybe even buffs others, idk.
Kouki himself wields a sword, obviously. The foliage that lets him summon Arthur manifests as a wreath atop his head, that he slashes with his sword (because he just has to be that cool). His fighting style is strategic and graceful, fitting for the leader, and he’s ready to support his teammates that focus more on offence.
At the start of the story he’s just moved to a new city, when he notices a cough, and going for a check up, is informed he has caught a very early lung cancer, and that he should consider himself lucky he caught it so early, and so his chances of living are very optimistic with treatment. He has faith in humanity, having been shown kindness all his life, and he’s more than happy to repay that kindness to others, a belief goaded by a tad unprofessional doctor waxing poetic about humanity’s advancements when it comes to saving lives. Across his journey he sees both the good and bad in humanity, learning that while not everyone always are what they seem, everyone has the potential to do good, no matter who they are.
If I had to sum up his relationship with each of the party members:
Miyuki: The strongest bond on the team, he’s able to see through her walls and teasing and see who she really is. He’s determined to bring out the best in her, while not letting her off the hook easily when she messes up. He sees the best in everyone, but you have to put in work to be the best, y’know? He does genuinely really respect her, too, and finds her funny lol
Safie: She kinda forced herself into his life and is crashing at his place, but can see that she’s a lovely person, even if her grasp (or lack thereof) of humans, society, and boundaries can make it hard to get along. They’re practically siblings.
Nenji: They hang out at restaurants quite a lot, they just like to shoot the shit. Nenji is quite unconfident and Kouki helps him to come out of his shell and have confidence in himself, and stand up for himself.
Shin: Appreciates Shin’s professionalism and tactical combat style. Very much respects him in an academic context as well, constantly asking for insight into maths coursework, which Shin happily provides.
Yoshie: Kind of terrified of her, she acts quite manic around him. She’s a great fighter and her bubbly enthusiasm is great for the group, she’s just… a lot.
Tsuneko: He helps her counteract and live with her fatigue, and enjoys seeing her have more and more energy as the year goes on. Also enjoys listening to her rambling about whatever thing she’s interested in recently.
Johnny: Loves how enthusiastic Johnny is, and it drives Miyuki insane so he’ll go along with any of his antics. They have matching cowboy hats that Johnny bought for him.
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autobotmedic · 1 year
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Mun Vs. Muse
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Similarities:
we are usually logical/rational, but also have very strong feelings, and sometimes those conflict.
health conscious and yet, not necessarily great at always taking care of self.
we’re more introverted than extroverted.
we are opinionated, and the closer you are to us, the more opinions you will hear. including petty ones.
tend to be equipped or prepared compared to most, I cannot tell you how many tissues/wet wipes/a snack/etc I’ve given other students fhksjhdf.
we highly value life of any form; I have treated injuries/helped take care of sick people and animals. blood doesn’t bother either of us.
basically we both have empathetic caretaker hearts.
but also people are difficult to deal with and socializing is tiring more often than not.
once betrayed in some way/recognizing we’ve been taken advantage of, even if we do care about someone, comfortable trust is not regained easily.
rambling about a passion or due to being nervous is more common for me than him, but he does still ramble, and I definitely believe he did more often when he was younger.
I’ve been told I can be Intense sometimes when it comes to focusing on/tackling a responsibility. coughing.
oh strong responsibility sense but not like, claiming EVERYTHING, claiming our things/what we feel we should be responsible for and being dedicated toward those things. sometimes to the point of neglecting what we would actually like to do.
aligned ratch came from a village that isn’t even named canonically which I read as meaning he has Country Roots, and I am also a country person; maybe I’m self projecting but I rly do think he finds cottagecore appealing too.
we were very similar types of A-making students who took notes, studied, questioned/talked to our professors, and didn’t really party or fall for peer pressure. I am aware this is not a popular opinion for ratch bc many default to ‘party ambulance,’ but it is VERY hard for me to see that applying to aligned, nor is there any actual evidence of it that I can find (outside of a drug-equivalent's influence).
additionally, despite being the same age or younger than most of the people we interacted with as peers, there was ;;; definitely a personal maturity/priorities difference from most of them. aka, feeling older than you are and having trouble socializing casually because of it.
they are not as strong/I am aware of and thus try to keep them contained to be respectful of others, but I do have some controlling and defensive urges too fhkjahfds.
we can and will overthink often and there is no Off switch for it.
but on the other hand, we can also be calm and problem solve/react quickly under pressure, especially if anyone else present is panicking or emotionally hurting.
we have both experienced the loss of what we considered ‘home’ due to outside circumstances we could not change, even though it was not an entire planet in my case, obviously.
the older I get and the more I learn/see about the world and try to survive in it, the more cynical and tired I become; at this point I’m pretty sure if I lived several million years and saw a lot of scrap constantly, I would reach ratchet’s levels fhakjhfsdf.
we both care about the quality of our work/perfectionism to a significant degree and being rushed or learning to say ‘this is acceptable’ is very hard.
Differences:
his science knowledge level is absolutely incredible and I cannot hold a candle to it, I struggle just trying to do research to write him believably. I also think mechanics and such are neat and I do have more understanding of vehicles than average, but that is still no where near equivalent to him.
I can be be creative/find creative solutions to issues sometimes, but I am not an inventor-level of problem solver like him. I can build things if I have instructions or make an entire simple plan first, but I can’t just Do it/modify something quickly.
I am usually able to express how I feel emotionally, he does not always know how or is unwilling to do so.
he is definitely better at multitasking than I am.
I am not ambidextrious but he is.
he is stocky while I am not.
I am not in any medical or science field.
I don’t have ptsd.
I rarely nap.
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prodeasy · 2 years
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Persona Spectrum: Design With Not For
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Persona Spectrum is the new black. It aids in understanding related mismatches and motivations across a spectrum over different scenarios. It is beneficial in dealing with a wide range of users’ needs, experiences, behaviors, and goals.
Why use a persona spectrum when I already have user personas? Does it feel like a riddle? Well, let’s begin to unriddle it.
Recapping User Personas
A user persona represents a user type that might use your services, products, sites, or brands similarly or the other. A well-researched, coherent, and data-driven user persona is advantageous in product development, sales strategies, and marketing campaigns.
Personas quickly took off, and for a good reason, they give a better understanding of our customers’ needs. But since then, we’ve realized certain limitations with personas.
Insignificant Efforts on Research
Hypothesis built based on a single persona due to lack of effort on research can lead to single-use design work. This defeats the purpose of leveraging personas for customer-centric designs.
Low User Adoption and Acceptance
A product design that captivates some and not others can lead to product failure and low acceptance. That is why there is a need to understand the users’ emotions and make intelligent personas so that the product is adopted and accepted.
Ineffective for Special Needs
Most of the time, user personas represent an average user and do not consider people with special needs like people with hearing disabilities or visually challenged. Such a design is created for everyone but really no one at all.
Lack of Empathy
Empathy in a design is a must. The user’s behavior should be considered to avoid any minute difference between the emotions and practicality of design.
Enter Persona Spectrum
Inclusive design emphasizes our responsibility to solve for mismatches between humans and their products, environments, and social structures. A persona spectrum empowers us to do just that. It is a design methodology that enables one to draw from the full range of human diversity by taking into account variations revealing changes in users’ ambition and pain points.
The solutions discovered are helpful to the users with certain limitations but can also be used by those who face temporary, situational, or permanent constraints.
Application of Persona Spectrum in Real life
Amazon is known for its fast and efficient delivery. But there was a segment of users (working professionals) dissatisfied. The main reason causing this dissatisfaction was the rise of package theft or packages lying outside the whole day. This gave birth to the Amazon Hub.
Amazon Hub is a worldwide network of secure pickup locations for your Amazon packages. Instead of choosing home delivery when you order, you can ship to a nearby Amazon Locker or Counter location and pick up your Amazon order when it’s convenient for you. All Amazon lockers offer accessibility features, including talking lockers, more prominent and high contrast touchscreen text, and a lower locker slot preference to support blind, low vision, deaf, hard of hearing, and mobility impaired customers.
Amazon used the persona spectrum strategy to solve mismatched interaction between a person and a system and helped them align to user needs better.
Key takeaways of persona spectrum
Even persona spectrums can be inherently biased and assumptive if not based on solid research and the kind of empathy that comes from truly understanding a user’s challenges. Here are some key takeaways from what we have learned so far.
Focus on a range of customer motivations, contexts, abilities, and circumstances.
‘Design with not for’ the customers.
Provides better services by being empathetic towards them.
Wondering how you and your team can start leveraging persona spectrum? Learn how you can use Prodeasy’s persona canvas to begin experimenting with persona spectrum.
Original Source: This blog was taken from Prodeasy.
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cartmankisser · 3 years
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IM LITERALLY SO SORRY IF IM BOTHERING U WITH ALL MY REQUESTS😭😭⁉️⁉️
BUT ANYWAYS WHAT AB SCOTT TENORMAN X VERY DRY READER THATS JUST VERY AWKWARD N BARELY SMILES???
YES FIRST SCOTT POST FROM YOU!! I HAVE MORE BEFORE THIS ONE BUT IM GONNA START WITH THIS ONE!! AND UR NOT OMG IM SO HAPPY TO BE WRITING FOR SCOTT
scott would probably tease you at first. him and his friends would pick fun at you every now and then just to see if your reactions would change. (they don’t)
once he starts actually talking to you, he gets a bit frustrated about how you’re responding. it’s like he’s talking to a robot?? like why aren’t you laughing at his jokes?? why does he care so much about how you think of him?
i think that after you guys start talking more, he would learn how to be more empathetic towards you. like he knows not to take his banter too far with you because as dry as you are, you’re still a person,,? he hasn’t really cared about making fun of people before why does he care now????
once you guys start going out though, he would learn how to read you. how to analyze your texts and see if your messaging sounds sad or upset. i mean it sounds stupid, but it’s not that hard for him anymore. it gives him some grace to know if your upset at him or not, considering how all of your texts are two word responses
i think he’d like to have stupid inside jokes with you! like when he can’t really tell on what you’re thinking, he would just crack a subtle joke and based on your reaction he can tell if your upset, happy, or if it’s just your average resting face
he really appreciates when you smile or laugh with him!! considering how little you smile, it makes him feel really special when he gets to see the side of you that a lot of people don’t really know about
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Extreme Aggressor: Part One
Pairing: Eventual Spencer Reid x Reader
Word Count: 2.3k
Warnings: canon violence, canon language, woman gets killed in an alley, talk of strangling and stabbing a woman
Summary: Jason Gideon is called back from a six-month leave from the Behavioral Analysis Unit to profile a killer. Meanwhile, the team flies across the country to Seattle when another young woman goes missing at the hands of "The Seattle Strangler," another serial killer.
Author’s Note: Here is it finally! After hard work, it is finally ready for your viewing pleasure! Please, feedback is always appreciated so let me know what you like about it and what you didn’t! 
I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there is any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated.
So without further ado, please enjoy!
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"The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary. Men alone are quite capable of every wickedness." - Joseph Conrad
Not everyone knows this but each and every person has an aura around their body as if it hovers to remind people like you that they have things to hide. Not many people can see and do what you can do, but then again, you don’t want them to. All your life, you have been able to connect with people on a much deeper level than the average human. Those auras contain energies that you are able to connect with, therefore see more than what the normal eye can.
This ability that you have has gotten you in places you should never be. It’s gotten you where another dare not to venture. It’s allowed you to see the true intention and personality of a person no matter how high and thick their walls may be. Now, some people are better at hiding their true selves than others, but you always manage to figure out what makes them tick.
Your abilities have captured the attention of a really great friend, Jason Gideon. When he figured out the thing you could do, he knew you would make a great addition to his team. Granted, he was on a “summer break” so to speak, but he would be more than happy to give you a recommendation. It’s not that you didn’t want to work for the FBI, you just didn’t know if you would be good enough.
Never have your abilities let you down even if they didn’t always give you want you wanted. No one really knew what you could do, not even your family. It made you feel like a freak, like you never belonged anywhere since all you could do was see on the soulful plane. Maybe the BAU would benefit from having you on board, but would you benefit from having the BAU on your side? Your father always told you never to join any kind of government work, and at the time, he gave a good enough reason to keep you away. Something about them always taking jobs right from underneath everyone’s noses, and you believed him when you were a kid.
Now, not so much.
It was hard to when all you saw was death wherever you go. You didn’t ask for this ability, but you got it, and it was your responsibility to help as many people as you could with it until the day you die. That was the only reason why you were considering taking Jason up on his offer. There was still some hesitation on your shoulder, and you thought a walk would do you nice.
The crowded city rushed on without you, but you only had one thing on your mind. It was the busiest part of the city, but you liked walking through there once in a while. Everyone’s thoughts and feelings came to light when they were in a rush. It bombarded you and often overwhelmed you, but nothing overcame the sickening feeling you got in your stomach when you stepped on Jefferson Rd.
The energy in the air swirled around you, but it wasn’t energy from the people around you; it was from the dead. Even spirits leave energy behind when they pass which allow people like you to snatch it up to figure out their story. The way it works is that you become so overwhelmed with the emotions and the energy that you begin to see some of the last moments that spirit went through before it passed. You are allowed to see it based on how well you connect with it.
Some people have called you being psychic while other people called you a witch. Being an empathetic person helped you see the picture clearly. Not always will you get a clear one, and sometimes, you may not even get a full body. It’s whatever the spirit left behind and wanted you to see. They laid down the stepping stones, and it was up to you to be able to pass them.
Standing still in the middle of the sidewalk, you looked to your left to see a woman appear out of thin air. She was a bit transparent which is how you were able to spot the difference between an energy source and a real human. She was maybe in her mid-twenties, and she was jogging with headphones in. She passed by you without a second glance, and everyone around you seemed to disappear since the only person you were able to focus on was her.
She jogged for a few more seconds when a black apparition came out of the alley not far from you. The black shape grabbed at the woman, but you needed to replay that scene over if you wanted to connect with his spirit. Sometimes, when a picture isn’t clear, you have to replay the mini silent movie over and over again until you can either get a clear picture or you knew that you weren’t getting anything more.
As if you had a remote in one hand, you pressed it which rewound the action. The woman jogged backwards past you to where she first emerged, and you hit the play button. Just like before, she jogged past you, minding her own business when the black shape came at her. This time, he was a bit clearer. Repeating this process over and over again, you watched the woman get kidnapped about twenty more times before you could see the exact details of the man’s face.
He grabbed her and pulled her into the alley, but you couldn’t seem to move. The clearer the picture, the stronger the energy. The stronger the energy meant the event you watched happened recently. The longer the event goes unsolved, the less amount of energy you are able to connect with.
Something happened in that alley, but you dreaded going anywhere near it. However, this woman’s story was untold, and her spirit won’t rest unless someone tells it for her. Taking a deep breath, you looked at the busy street and suddenly remembered that you were in the middle of a city with a bustling amount of people around you.
Pushing past the crowd, you made your way to the alley until you were completely alone as the rest of the world left the single girl who was in the alley alone. There was one particular spot that drew you in, and you took a few steps towards it before getting another vision. The man jammed a knife into the woman’s abdomen, and you gasped when you felt her emotional pain. Being an empath is really hard work since you had more than yourself to worry about.
The woman dropped to the ground with a loud thud, and the man kept stabbing her over and over again until she was way past dead. Once he was satisfied, he took the murder weapon with him and fled the scene, running right past you to do it. It took everything in you to look away from his eyes despite your body telling you to do so.
The noise of the busy city drowned out the sound of a body thumping on the ground, and you crept to the area where she was stabbed. Instead of a body, there was a thick blue tarp covering the ground. It looked like a body was underneath it, but it could be trash. Please let it be trash. Please let it be trash. Picking up the end of the tarp with your gloved hand, you peeked underneath it to see wide soulless eyes staring at you.
The shock overwhelmed you, and you dropped the tarp in shock. Tears threatened to escape your eyes, but if it wasn’t for you, this woman probably would have never been found—or, at least, not right now. From what you could gather, the body was still fresh with only sight signs of decaying. If you called the police now, they might be able to find her killer.
Taking out your cellphone, you dialed 911 and put in an anonymous tip before getting the hell out of there. It didn’t take long for first responders to arrive on scene, and you watched from the deli across the street as they uncovered her. She was found because of you. She is going to get justice because of you.
That was all the evidence you needed to make your decision.
Taking out your phone once more, you called your dear and beloved friend. It took him three rings to pick up.
“Jason, it’s me, Y/N. I’ll take it.”
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Gideon was sucked back into the BAU on a case after he needed to take some time for himself. He was involved with a bomber that took out one hostage and six agents, so you could understand why he requested for your help. He trusted you to aid this team in finding a killer, especially when he saw what you can do first-hand. It was hard to explain your abilities to someone who couldn’t possibly understand, but you knew you had to since he had a jet full of his other teammates.
It didn’t take long to get to the airport where the jet was waiting, and before you ascended the stairs, you could feel everyone’s emotions—impatient, curiosity, calmness, and eagerness. They were all waiting for you, and you needed to show them that you belonged on their team. Walking on the jet, all heads turned at the new presence. Gideon stood up and approached you with a welcoming smile on his face.
“It’s good to see you again,” he stated.
“Well, you needed me. Here I am,” you nodded, looking at everyone else on the jet.
The person you noticed first was what you assumed to be the second person in charge. He had almost black hair and a hard gaze since he didn’t really like newcomers. The next person was a black male who emitted impatience since he just wanted to get in the air. The last person was a scrawny young male which is where the curiosity was coming from.
“Y/N, this is my team. Agent Aaron Hotchner, Derek Morgan, and Dr. Spencer Reid.”
“Spencer Reid?” you asked, and the young man perked up at the sound of his name. “Sorry, but I’ve read everything you have ever written especially Identifying Non-obvious Relationship Factors Using Cluster Weighted Modeling and Geographic Regression. You have a very intelligent mind.”
“Thank you,” he smiled, clearly impressed that you read his work.
“Guys, this is my good friend Y/N that I’ve asked to help us on this case.”
“Is she FBI?” Hotchner asked.
“Not exactly.”
“I am what’s known as an empathetic psychic. If ‘witch’ makes you sleep better at night, then call me that. I see things that most people are not able to see. I connect with people’s energies, especially the dead. Believe it or not, I see events that lead up to someone’s death due to the energy and the spirit they leave behind. The more recent the event, the stronger of a picture I get. It doesn’t always give me what I want, but it always provides me with what I need. I’ll be a valuable asset to this team.”
“I already approved it with the board. She has her firearm qualification and she passed the academy with flying colors,” Gideon sided with you.
“We need to get going. We’ll see how you do on this case,” Hotchner nodded.
With that, the plane was off. It wasn’t until the pilot let you know it was safe to move around the cabin that everyone start to talk about the case.
“His first victim was Melissa Kirsh—stab wounds and strangulation,” Spencer read from the file.
“Wait, wait. Back up. Back up,” Derek interrupted. “He stabbed her and then strangled her to finish her off?”
“Other way around,” Gideon cleared his throat before turning to you, the hopefully newest member of the team. “Why do you think he started using the belt with the second murder?”
“Strangulation with your bare hands is not as easy as one would believe,” you said, earning a few stares from the others. You knew it would take some time for them to get used to you, especially when they didn’t even know you. The fact that you’re with them is because you’re friends with Gideon. “He tried and probably found that it took too long so he stabbed her instead and realized it would be hours cleaning up the blood.”
“Next time, our boy's got a method—the belt,” Derek added.
“He's learning and perfecting his scenario. Becoming a better killer,” Gideon stated.
“So, Y/N, where did you learn about profiling?” Hotchner asked, taking a break from the case.
“I have a PhD in Criminal Justice with a sole focus on profiling. Another one in Psychology which better helps me connect with others. I thought Gideon told you all of this,” you asked, looking at your friend.
“How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?” Spencer asked.
“Twenty-three. Well, I turn twenty-three in a few months.”
“Wow, I’m impressed. How did you get two PhD’s at your age?”
“How’d you get three at yours?”
“I’m a genius with an eidetic memory.”
“Yeah, well, I worked my ass off to get where I am so just know that you’re not letting just anyone on this jet with you. I’d be happy to prove myself to you guys. I’ve been doing it since I could read.”
“There’s a few more of us you still have to meet,” Hotchner stated.
“Lucky you, Reid,” Derek grinned. The young doctor stared at his friend in confusion. “You’re not the youngest one here anymore.”
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crimeronan · 4 years
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Can you explain the appeal of Julian Blackthorn? This is a genuine question because I read the books and came away utterly bored by him and unconvinced of his moral greyness as opposed to like, Adam Parrish’s. He seemed so one dimensional to me but I want to know if I’m Wrong TM considering I tend to be very very biased toward my favourite characters and bored by the rest, and my favourites were Mark and Kieran. So maybe I just didn’t pay him enough attention??
it’s been a while since i wrote any earnest tsc meta but cringe culture is dead and the chance to infodump about my julian thoughts has me vibrating where i’m sitting so.  yes okay.
technical stuff
(aka: things pertaining to How The Story Is Constructed)
cassandra clare’s characterization has become much stronger just in general since she first began writing the series like twenty years ago
perhaps most importantly: the more recent stuff i’ve read from her has involved characters who actually grow, change, and learn from their past mistakes 
rather than repeating the same stupid decisions over and over again
and over and over and over some more
seriously take a shot every time someone in tmi miscommunicates or self-destructs in ways They Have Learned Not To Do for no real reason. u will die of alcohol poisoning
in tda this shines ESPECIALLY with the evolution of mark, kieran, and cristina’s relationship, but that’s a separate post
clare’s trademark is also the angsty traumatized jerkass love interest with a secret heart of gold
the woman is almost singlehandedly responsible for draco in leather pants and the proliferation of this kind of character type in fandom and teen lit. this isn’t a criticism it’s me marveling at how if you commit hard enough to a single trope you truly can change the world.  follow your dreams
sad jackass with a heart of gold isn’t an Inherently Problematic Character Type
but poorly done it can lead to relationship dynamics in which one partner is constantly being hurt by and then forgiving the other despite them making no real effort to change, because they are narratively absolved due to being sad
(there’s a lot of this with earlier jace content.  in some ways i think will was later created specifically to be a same-archetype protagonist who actually does get called on his shit and grow. that’s also another post)
also if all of your sexy male love interests are tortured jackasses with a heart of gold then people start calling you a one-trick pony
enter julian blackthorn!
from the very start everything about him is designed to be the INVERSE of the heart of gold jackass.  which immediately makes him interesting just from a meta perspective
(mark and kieran are also both alternate angles on this time-honored archetype.  mark gets the heart of gold and kieran gets the jackass and then they’re both much more deeply messy than that.  yet another post)
julian is kind, self-sacrificing, empathetic, artistic, emotionally supportive, responsible, and favored by old grannies everywhere
so a completely nonthreatening milquetoast guy, right
immediately forgettable if you’re only here for the dramatic conflicts and shithead antics of clare’s other protags
except that he is A Mess
and that he has structured his priorities very carefully, and they are as selfless as you expect from The Hero (TM) but they are also Not Heroic (TM) and they do not align with the moral framework The Hero (TM) is supposed to use
moral ambiguity in characters always exists in relation to their narratives imo. you mention adam parrish - trc’s narrative already mucks around in different ethical shades of gray, and adam falls on the canon scale about where julian does on his canon scale.  both more willing than the average pov character to do the ruthless thing or make the fucked-up choice if the ends justify the means; both with an intensely strong sense of internal priorities that they adhere to at all costs, both so unbelievably fucking down for murder; etc
i do think there are ways julian’s choices could have been pushed even further, but considering the number of readers who hate his guts already, i can see why clare opted not to go for the most controversial possible conflicts
so we’re flipping the narrative
instead of seeing this angsty bad boy and peeling back the layers of his trauma to find his heart of gold, we’re seeing the put-together selfless family man and peeling back the layers of his Responsibility Mask to expose the rotting husk underneath
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
THAT IS FUN AS FUCK
then when julian DOES lash out in hurtful, uncontrolled ways, he has significantly more narrative justification for it than most of clare’s protagonists (will elaborate in characterization thoughts)
julian is also interesting as fuck because of how his struggles allow for a more in-depth look at the failings of shadowhunter society, something that’s also sorely lacking in clare’s earlier work
his apparent amorality is simply the result of him making pragmatic and impossible choices because he has been faced with fucked-up ethical dilemmas since age 12 Because Society Has Failed Him
which opens the door for narrative exploration of how and why he’s been failed so badly & what needs to change
i also love that he has such a coldly calculated way of analyzing situations and allowing harm to occur when need be, bc a lot of clare’s early protagonists have such a bad case of Rush In And Get Myself Killed Because I’ve Got Feelings About Impulsive Heroism syndrome that i wanna push them in front of a truck
probably there’s other meta narrative stuff i could say but i’m stopping myself and moving on to character analysis
characterization stuff
(aka: reasons why i’m also attached to him in a vacuum)
i don’t read him as one-dimensional at all tbh
u may feel the narrative pushes “ruthless julian blackthorn” too much without delivering enough actual ruthless julian But i don’t think that’s the same as having only one dimension
from the get-go, the big question centered on julian is always “how far are you willing to go?” and the narrative pushes the stakes slowly higher and higher to continuously test julian’s “the price is always justified” mindset
he has a far more layered and realistic response to trauma than clare’s early protagonists - trauma affects every single aspect of his personality and how he conducts himself, and the effects vary depending on the circumstances
his conviction that he has to be the perfect parent to his siblings because they will fall apart if they see him show weakness??  rooted in how he feels like he’s fallen apart since losing the stable adult support he once relied upon
his willingness to hurt semi-innocent people, commit coldblooded murder, manipulate people using political leverage, allow harm to befall any stranger if it protects his family??  rooted in how he has already had to ask himself how much he’s willing to sacrifice, and how his family is his only source of stability when the world has never done Shit for him
his conviction that he has a darker heart than anyone else because he killed his possessed father, even though intellectually he knows he was saving his brother’s life??  rooted in having no means of processing this trauma and being unable to voice his feelings for fear of backlash from a deeply non-understanding society
the way he represses every single negative emotion he ever has, to the point where emma - his actual literal magic soulmate who can feel his emotions - is startled to find him hurting or angry??  once again all about how he has to be the perfect father or he’s failed completely
the way his anger is so totally disproportionate to different situations and the way his negative emotions can only come out in completely uncontrolled breaks??  all that repression baybey.  this kid has not processed a single bad feeling in five years.  every single real grievance and petty annoyance has been festering indefinitely inside him like a slowly spreading infection
julian’s arc involves him needing to get thru being his worst self to actually start to heal
as in, he has to actually learn to acknowledge his feelings, take care of himself, lean on his family, and let other people take some responsibility
he also has to learn that in his quest to be the perfect emotionally controlled authority figure, he has not actually learned how to control or deal with his emotions. like. At Fucking All. good god
the narrative setup is also about asking “how far are you willing to go?” until the answer is finally “not this far.  not this far”
and once he reaches that point, he has to reevaluate everything about how he weighs his priorities and morals and plans, etc
(i also like that emma has a perpendicular arc in which she’s always the one tempering julian and telling him “no we can’t go that far” until she’s willing to do something horrific that he absolutely won’t and HE has to stop HER. very sexy)
it’s also just really nice to have a character who’s learned to relate so well to literally every single member of his family while still having a very detached ruthless interior consciousness. i have similar feelings about how adam teaches himself to love people, but with julian it’s spelled out more explicitly in canon & it’s a more central character theme
i’m sure i’m also forgetting stuff here but this post is long enough so i’m gonna say good enough
and like i said in the tags on my other post, there are things i’d personally write differently if it were my story - plot points i’d shift, character contrasts i’d up, themes i’d explore differently, pacing i’d adjust, etc.  i have plenty of ways i could be nitpicky and editorial about the effectiveness of julian’s arc.  but i also don’t feel like writing them out at the moment & none of my critiques on effectiveness have an impact on the core appeal of his character 2 me.  he’s so fucking good
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readingsbylibramc · 3 years
Text
birth chart reading for @baggable
hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.
🦋 chart shape, dominants
your chart is a seesaw shape. your life focuses on different ideals and interests, often constrasting between each other. from one side, this gives you the ability to be adaptable and find solutions easily. on the other hand, you may struggle with balance; for example, you might find yourself dedicating your life to your relationships, neglecting your ego or viceversa. you need to learn how to harmonize these energies.
your dominant planets are the moon, mercury and jupiter. you are a very genuine person, you always have good intentions and you're very altruistic, you always try to do good for others. you're very sensitive and empathetic, even though you could sometimes be quite moody and impulsive. you are also very intelligent, and you most likely have a great sense of humor.
your dominant sign is cancer. you seek emotional security in life. you need to feel grounded, you're most likely extremely cautious about the decisions you make. you're also very sensitive and compassionate of others, even though you could get slightly passive from time to time.
your dominant element is fire. you have a warm heart, even though it may be covered by your confidence and independence. in fact, you always strive for the first place. people may be intimidated by your presence, as you're a serious competitor. thanks to this competitive nature of yours you may be very positive and optimistic, making you a good and supportive friend/partner.
🌎 ascendant in virgo, 11° / 2nd decan ruled by mercury and saturn
you have a practical approach to the world. you’re kind of logical, it’s hard for you to improvize. you always want to keep everything neat and organized, at least in your mind. you could have a natural coldness to your face. you may seem a bit older than you are, or at least very mature and responsible, even though you may be more outgoing than you look due to your sagittarius and cancer placements. with your attentive eyes, you pay attention to every single detail you see. you’re a perfectionist, and you always want and try to be at your best state. I would say you’re quite competitive when it comes to your goals, but you don’t really do it to be above others. you do it because your obsession for details kind of stresses you out. improving and proving yourself is a way to boost your self-esteem, you feel fulfilled when you can achieve your goals. you are extremely intelligent and logical, you’re always up for a deep talk or simply for an occasion to gain more knowledge. you like being smart, you always want to know about everything. even the latest, trendy meme counts for you. your nature is very cautious; you’re rarely impulsive, you always think deeply about your decisions, as you don’t want to commit any mistakes. because of that, you can be particularly picky. not only with material things such as movies, books, food etc. but even with people. it’s hard for you to open up to someone you don’t know at all. you take things slow, both in friendships and in relationships, just to preserve yourself. you may come off as kind of snobby, but you’re just misunderstood. you don’t like flaky bonds, you need security in your life. physically, as I’ve already mentioned before, you have this kind of strict look on your face. your eyes may be almond-shaped, and you could have a natural feline gaze. overall, you have something smaller about your features; you could have thin lips, a small nose, small eyes… you could have a smaller frame with thin bones, and you don’t gain weight easily. you may be of average height, and I’ve noticed that most virgos tend to have pretty long legs? no matter if they’re tall or not, their legs will still be longer than their bust. you could also have some rounder features to your face or body, such as an apple body shape, plump lips or round, watery eyes
virgo ascendant square sagittarius moon: you may have troubles understanding others’ real feelings for you. you may feel as if everyone hates you, like everyone is talking behind your back when it’s the opposite. the sun being in cancer doens’t help either, as this aspect enhances its trust issues even more. you’re particularly sensitive about others’ view and opinion of you, you may get deeply hurt when people criticize you. you could have the tendency to act differently than you usually do, in order to preserve your feelings. this is obviously a toxic behaviour, that fills you up with your own stress and doubles it. due to that, you may become very moody and nervous, ending up hurting others yourself. or maybe, it’s the other way around; your feelings are so overwhelming that you can’t hide them, and that could put you in embarrassing, unpleasant situations. you may show all of your emotions on your face, ready to be read. the way to cope with this placement is finding someone similiar to you; someone who’s trust-worthy, and very sensitive and empathetic too. someone who’d never judge you for you think or say, and that would always help you becoming the best version of yourself. someone that understands you, without having to explain all of your behaviours and habits.
virgo ascendant square sagittarius pluto: you're aware that the world is too nasty for your honesty, hence you may have trust issues. even though you are friendly, you're very picky about who you decide to actually call your friend. you may constantly feel lonely, as if no one were willing to listen and understand you. you live with the fear that others may take advantage of you, hence you end up doing it yourself, unconsciously. you may be controlling, but your chart hints that it's not too much of a big deal. you may have the tendency to do it sometimes, but it's mostly a bad trait of your past life. the universe is testing you to see if you've learned your lesson or not. you have all the skills to avoid this type of behaviour now that you're aware of it.
🌞 sun in cancer, 4° / 1st decan ruled by the moon
this is the darkest, most intense cancer decan. even though you may not show it due to your heavy sagittarius and virgo influence, you’re actually very vulnerable and sensitive. you may be a crybaby, as crying is a way to vent your emotions. you may even overreact, and be considered too dramatic. you’re extremely moody; you could be all happy and relaxed with your friends, then suddenly you get sad, or even angry. it’s hard to deal with this, especially because your emotions are quite intense. this could make you argue a lot with your peers. even though it takes you a while to find someone willing to stay, when that moment finally comes you’ll embody cancer’s best trait: that is, you’ll become a ‘mother’ to your friends, lover etc. you have a very nurturing soul, you have a knack for affection and care, and you could even get kind of clingy, even though you may feel limitated to give your love to someone else. cancer is a cardinal sign, hence you may be the one to take initiative, yet you do it undirectly. you’re probably the passive-aggressive type, even though this may be mitigated by your dramatic and impulsive sagittarius moon. you most likely try to be patient, even though you could struggle with that due to your fire dominance. you may also hold a grudge easily; once someone tries to take advantage of you, it’s over for them.
🌙 moon in sagittarius, 9° / 1st decan ruled by jupiter
you're an outgoing and warm person, who always tries to make others feel at ease. I assume you try to be nice to everyone, but you can't help but be a little awkward around people you don't know. with your sagittarius moon, you go with the flow and don't shy away from challenges. they're moments to prove your potential and abilities. you are an extremely open-minded person, you rarely judge a book by its cover. you probably despise racism, homophobia, misogyny etc. with a passion (as you should tbh). you may also be into poetry, philosophy, and just anything that can stimulate both your mind and feelings. in fact, your mind is constantly wandering somewhere else, allowing you to travel with your fantasy. you're also probably attracted to foreign things, like people, music, fashion, languages, movies etc. you love learning about anything, and you may also have a good memory. in fact, it’s common for you to be the one who explains things and possibly even leads a group, and this could unluckily make you seem as a know-it-all. you do take pride in your wisdom, indeed. your deep way of thinking is also where your desire for freedom comes from, as you wish to be able to expand yourself through travelling and new experiences. when you get angry, you can actually get very rude and offensive, even towards authorities. you’re short-tempered, and you despise being told what to do. you’re also a good, loyal friend, and you’re the type to stand up for them and defend them during a fight. you’re friendly, especially with people you feel comfortable with, and you probably love talking. you’re able to put a smile on others’ face just by telling your stories, even though you never truly go in-depth. you're quite optimistic, as you see good in everyone. yet, while this is a good trait that allows you to be more at ease in relationships, you may also be fooled easily due to your blind optimism.
sagittarius moon conjunct sagittarius pluto: you’re way more secretive and cautious than most sagittarius moon people. you tend to preserve yourself, even though it’s hard for you to repress your emotions, as they’re too to intense to bottle them up. you absorb people’s feelings like a sponge, there’s no way that you won’t instantly understand their real emotions. overall, you tend to overreact a lot; you have cancer's sensitive energy on one side and pluto’s mysterious, almost scary vibe on the other. dealing with these emotional burnouts may be stressing to you, as you totally get caught up in them. even if it looks like you get to know other people often, you actually don’t let others know you. you’re the type of person to talk and socialize, but you never reveal your deepest fears and thoughts to strangers. you only open up to people you’re sure you can trust. when you’re angry, you can literally go as far as using violence; you need to let out your emotions by screaming, swearing… anything that can make you feel better. there’s a secret, sensitive side in you that needs passionate and romantic partners in love. yet, you can’t help but feel more attracted to the ones that may hurt you badly. you’re possibly quite sensitive to higher entities too, like ghosts, spirits and so on.
🗣 mercury in cancer, 29° / 3rd decan ruled by the moon and neptune
you don't really rely on logic. you're very emotionally intelligent, and you take in consideration others' feelings when you speak. even though you may be impulsive and blunt sometimes, you don't do it with malice at all. you may actually feel guilty after you realize that you've hurt someone. you may be sort of manipulative, as you're very observant of others' behaviours. because of that, you may be extremely good at interacting with others, since you know how to speak to people when you don't let your impulsiveness get over you. you know how to persuade others, even though you may not even realize it. if you manage to balance your moon and your mercury, I think it would give you great social skills. you'd be able to stand up for yourself, while also being mindful and conscious of the effect of your words on others. you may get defensive quite easily, and because of that you may become a bit secretive. that's because, deep down, you feel the need to be understood to fully convey and express your emotions. you want to feel at home with your interlocutor, otherwise you'll just be awkward. on the other hand, you have a nice sense of humor, you're able to light up the room with your jokes. your voice may be nasal, but pretty much very gentle and feminine as well.
cancer mercury square libra mars: this placement makes you slightly more aggressive with your words. as a result, it makes you look more assertive and almost bossy. you could often attack people with words when you get angry, and you can get quite provocative too, even though it may happen in a more passive way. you still have your cancer energy's kindness and diplomacy in you, after all. even though you’re quite controversial for the way you speak, you’re still very sensitive to others’ words. your self-esteem tends to find its base mostly on others’ opinion about you, and you always look for reassurance from your loved ones. to deal with this hard aspect, you need to think before you speak. if you have troubles understanding others’ feelings, just think about how you’d love to be treated. patience will just come naturally to you.
cancer mercury square aries saturn: this placement gives you limitations and lessons regarding the way you think and talk. it may be that you’re too shy to approach others and to say what you think, so you just don’t try. otherwise, if you actually take action and try to overcome this problem, you could get into troubles. that’s probably caused by the fact that you don’t really pay attention to your words. you’re quite straight-forward, and due to your mars energy you always seem as if you’re up for a fight. you may be particularly pessimistic, or maybe you lack confidence in social interactions due to these problems, which could be possibly caused by your parents, or perhaps interfer in your relationship with your family. in fact, you may argue quite often with others, and misunderstandings are also common. this is something that gets naturally better with time, but in order for it to happen you need to take action. you may for example start speaking with others more at work, anything that allows you to challenge your mind and voice, in order to make you gain experiences and become a master at it. many celebrities, once they mastered this hard aspect, got loads of success. you can do that too, you just need to work on it.
❤️ venus in leo, 18° / 2nd decan ruled by the sun and jupiter
with leo venus you're very picky, as you have high expectations for your future partner. you always try to be at your best state, and you want those who surround you to be perfect too. it's hard for you to fall for someone, as you take everything in consideration: personality, physical appearance, fashion sense... it may look like it is too much, but once you find the right one that truly satisfies your standards, you're in for a long ride. you'll want to travel, live your life in the best way possible with the person you love. you look at them as if they were the brighest star in the sky, and you want to be seen like this as well. you may even be a bit clingy, but your partner needs to be aware of that. they can't repress your need for affection. you see love as a way to revive your inner child, you feel younger when you're in love. even though you want someone fun and outgoing, you also need someone ambitious, hard-working and generally serious when it comes to committing. there's no room in your life for flaky people.
leo venus square taurus saturn: you feel unable to love someone. this placement usually brings fear of committing, causing the individual to be flaky. there are two possibilities; I assume you directly avoid to get into relationships. your mind may unconsciously repress any thought about an eventual crush or love interest. it is caused by your insecurity, especially regarding your looks. or perhaps, it’s the other way around: you literally jump into relationships, resulting in you getting hurt from time to time. you could feel pressured to be in a relationship, even though it’s not your priority. generally, when saturn affects venus, it indicates that you're only going to get into satisfying relationships in your 30s, so it's recommended to get married after your saturn return, which happens around your 27/28 years.
☄️ mars in libra, 27° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and mercury
there’s this stereotype that libra mars people are passive-aggressive. it may be true, but only partially. in fact, you try to avoid conflicts exclusively when you’re in public, or maybe with someone you don’t know well. in that case, you can eventually try to avoid the problem. with people you’re close to, you’re pretty much the opposite. you may say the worst of things that you probably don’t even feel, you may even have the istinct to throw hands. you’re driven by a strong sense of justice, and you probably were the class’ snitch during daycare/primary school. you also strive for equality, hence you may get very defensive when it comes to proving your innocence, or just really anyone’s. overall, you’re a fair person with strong morals, who acts based on the situation you’re in.
libra mars opposite aries jupiter: you easily come off as more assertive and arrogant than you actually are. you say things impulsively, and sometimes you’re too blunt and hurt people’s feelings. you don’t do it on purpose, though, there’s no malice behind your acts; it’s just your natural way to express your opinions. you’re also very competitive, and this may make you look selfish. on a positive side, you probably have a naturally nice body (or maybe you react fast to diet/workout). you’re a risk-taker, and if you’re not you should try breaking the rules sometimes (obviously not doing illegal stuff lol). in fact, it’s when you’re both physically and mentally active that you’re able to come up with even better ideas, as you’re full of creativity. to cope with this placement, you can try doing something fun to challenge your mind, basically get out of your comfort-zone. of course you don’t have to overdo it, but it would be beneficial.
🏡 houses
your 1st house is in virgo. you appear as someone intelligent, possibly judgmental and critical. in fact, you’re a perfectionist, and most of the time you appreciate it when someone takes care of themselves just as much as you do. you’re also particularly pessimistic, and this could be annoying for those around you. you’re very logical, even though you probably don't lack intuition thanks to all the water energy in your chart. you’re very pragmatic, and you may even be judgmental, but this energy is probably mitigated by your cancer and sagittarius dominance, which makes you more open-minded and sensitive. the ruler of the 1st house is in the 4th house: you come off as a very private, yet mature person. you may be quite secretive, or at least you only prefer to share your persona with those around you. you probably love your family, and you also want to build your own family in the future.
your 2nd house is in libra, with also your mars placed therr. you find beauty and aesthetic in material things; you most probably love clothes, art, music… anything that isn’t exactly a priority in life, but that allows you to express your personal taste, which is very refined. with this placement I’d suggest that you should pursue a career that allows you to express your creativity, as arts and beauty allow you not only to make money, but also to increase your security and confidence. you could also spend money in venusian things like clothes, make-up, decorations and anything that involves beauty and aesthetic. with mars placed in this house, I feel like you may be very fond of money. you could do something just to earn material things from it, like money or any other good that satisfies your wants. you may be quite materialistic, you enjoy the finer things in life, or at least you want to be financially stable. you like the idea of saving money, but ironically you may be too impulsive when it comes to finances and spend money in random things you may not need.
your 3rd house in scorpio. you probably love witty jokes and sarcasm. you’re extremely honest when you think and speak, and most of the times you have no problems expressing your opinions. you could possibly be very good with words and be good at convincing and manipulating others. usually this placement makes someone kind of mischievous when it comes to words, but I think that with all the jupiter influence in your chart, you’re able to control this in order not to hurt others. your mind is very deep, you’re probably not really into small talks. you may also love anything that is considered taboo, like astrology, horror, nudity, death… you’re also quite secretive, you’re seen as an enigma. you don’t want to share much about you. last but not least, you value honesty above all. you only speak the truth, and hence you also want it back. you may as well be into conspiracy theories, science and anything that can expose what’s behind the universe, the government etc.
your 4th house is in sagittarius, with also the moon and pluto placed in this house. you could come from a foreign place, or perhaps you moved houses a lot during your childhood. perhaps, you have someone in your family that is from a different culture or religion from yours, or perhaps they’re able to speak more than one language. your parents could have been very successful at school, they could actually be professors. you might’ve always been a smart kid, you could’ve grown up learning more languages and you were most likely good at school too. you also got to make lots of experiences during your childhood, you might have travelled a lot. your relationship with your family is most likely very good. it could be that there might have been a few misunderstandings between you and your parents, but nothing too serious. maybe, they could have been a bit distant, it could be that they had to travel a lot for work and hence you felt lonely; or maybe, it's the opposite, they were a bit too affectionate and overwhelming, possibly possessive too, and you may have been babied or spoiled a bit too much. yet, this didn't really affect your growth and mentality, so it's probably nothing important. in fact, you also have the moon placed in this house, which indicates that your family is your comfort-zone. you feel comfortable with them, you're allowed to express yourself the way you want without being judged or repressed.
your 5th house is in the sign of capricorn, with also your neptune placed there. capricorn usually brings a feeling of seriousness to the house it’s in. I don’t think it’s your case, though. in fact, neptune, is also placed in this house. you could be a bit more introverted, probably you’re not the type to frequent clubs, parties, etc. you’re more serious from that point of view. your hobbies could actually drain your energy for you; let’s suppose you’re into videogames. you could literally spend the whole day playing videogames, as you take your hobbies very seriously. you’re not the type to start a project and then leave it, and it could be helpful considering that your sagittarius moon gets bored very easily, you’re very resolute. also, you most likely have 'mature’ hobbies; you could be into politics, economy, history… you could be into slower types of music, for example, or perhaps you like reading about world issues. with your children you may be quite strict, as you see them as a responsibility. also, you may often be attracted or attract older or more mature partners. you’re most likely a very romantic and artistic person, you may be fond of music, dancing, singing, acting… anything creative that stimulates your senses. yet, you may be a bit picky when it comes to hobbies; you probably only like reading specific types of books, you only listen to a certain music style, and so on. you may also be into spirituality such as psychology, astrology, law of attraction, yoga, mediation, etc.
your 6th house is in aquarius, uranus is also sitting there. people with aquarius in their 6th house need to change their routine throughout your life. probably, when you were you younger they taught you things that aren’t healthy for your body and health. you may have to change your diet, your medicines… also, you may sometimes procrastinate in your day-to-day life. I don’t think you do it too often, but it may still happen due to your virgo and mars dominance in your chart, but for example you wouldn’t mind skipping a day of school or work to play videogames. this placement also indicates that you may often come across unpredictable events in your daily life. you may often see strange, unordinary things, or perhaps it’s your routine that is like that. you may lack consistency when it comes to diets and health, for example; you may start a diet and keep it for a month, then you get tired and drop it all of a sudden. you could also develop unexpected diseases. you may pursue a career that looks unexpected for you at first, something that you never thought you'd do. it will most likely be a creative, artistic job. it will be a very pleasant job, it won’t even feel like a duty to you as you’ll choose a job that you like and that you’re passionate about. regarding your health, throughout your life you may often come across sudden health problems, illnesses may come out of nowhere.
your 7th house is in pisces. with this pisces descendant, you attract people that are pretty much very intuitive and soft; they could have pisces placements, or at least they’ll be extremely artistic and emotional. yet, you may as well surround yourself with 'broken’ people. that is, people that aren’t exactly in the best state of their health, whether physically or mentally. neptune, the ruler of this house, is in the 5th house. you could meet them in a fun situation, like a party, a vacation, a night out… any situation where you’re supposed to be chilling and having fun, you may meet your future spouse there. also, in a relationship you probably hate feeling suffocated. while your pisces descendant may make you enjoy skinship, you may sometimes also need your space, you still need your freedom, especially since your moon sign is sagittarius. also, pisces makes you idealize your crushes/partners way too much, to the point that you create an image of someone in your head that turns out to be the opposite at the end. you ignore your partner’s flaws, as they seem perfect to you.
your 8th house is in aries, with also jupiter placed there. generally, people with aries in their 8th house are very confident when it comes to taboo topics; they have no problems showing their interest in them, especially with people they're intimate with. thanks to jupiter's presence in this house, you're not afraid of darker topics and embracing them. for example, you could have lots of sex drive. you constantly try to improve yourself by coming up with new projects, you love challenges. they help you growing up into the person you want to become. you may come across some hardships regarding yourself, your identity. but, when you face those fears and start loving yourself, you’ll naturally become more mature and 'transform’. last but not least, this placement can also indicate that you're going to have a peaceful death, you're going to die later in life.
your 9th house is in taurus, with also saturn sitting there. with this placement, I feel like you may use your intellect to gain financial security and material possessions. while this is a good thing, as it helps increasing your confidence, don’t forget that your intellect is more important than money or any other thing. don’t underestimate it. you’re totally capable of learning and understanding things by yourself, hence don’t wait for others for help. you should start dealing with your own experiences alone, without anybody else’s help. this placement can also be someone a little close-minded; in fact, you're probably very stubborn and firm about your beliefs. you hardly ever allow others to change your mind. saturn here could make it hard for you to step out of your comfort-zone, you may be shy and therefore you could often miss out on important opportunities in your life. luckily, you're going to get more assertive as time goes by, and you will feel free, you just need to grow more mature.
your 10th house is in gemini, with also your sun there. you may actually pursue more than one career throughout your life! you’re very flexible and skilled at multi-tasking, so you probably wouldn’t feel stressed about it. perhaps, you could alternate a creative profession with a more logical career, like working in an office for example. also, your suitable jobs should include communication and creativity at the same time; you could be a writer, for example. or perhaps, you could keep these two things in two separate jobs. what matters is that you use words in both of them, and hence you could even be a judge, a singer, a translator, etc. you may also have to interact with other people in your job, I don't see you working from home for example. you could even work as a teacher, or even professor since your jupiter is strongly placed in your chart. you may also be very popular on your work place, and you may even be in the public eye for your job.
your 11th house is in cancer, with also mercury placed there. this placement indicates that your friends, they’re your comfort-zone. you feel understood when you’re with them, they’re pretty much like a family to you. you can tell them anything, you put all of your trust in them. or at least, if you haven’t met anyone like this yet, you’ll surely meet a friend that is like a soulmate to you. they’ll also be very important for your growth. in addition, it could also be that you’re still friends with someone from your childhood or even high school days, and hence you could literally grow up together. you could also have some step-siblings. you have a very distinctive way of thinking and speaking. you don't like being like others, you don't follow trends. you're probably the trendsetter, and you may find confidence and pride in your ideas and opinions. some may even define you weird, but you have very strong beliefs that could actually be helpful for the world. you're quite 'ahead' of others from this point of view, you're able to find beauty in things without being influenced by others. for example, you may follow a fashion trend before it gets viral. you are able to come up with very innovative ways of solving problems, you're extremely creative. you may even be the type to invent your own words, or perhaps you love learning and reading new words, you have a wide vocabulary. you're also probably interested in science and any darker or logical topic, you want to use your words and theories to change something in the world. you want to leave an impact, maybe even help others through your mind. you have a very witty sense of humor, you most likely speak fluent sarcasm and you're also very astute.
lastly, your 12th house is in leo. this is kind of a tricky placement, as leo rules the self, the ego, and the 12th house rules fears. you could be afriad of being too confident, of feeling worth it, or even just by being in the spotlight. perhaps, you have stage fright. this fear of embracing your persona makes you very insecure, even though you probably don’t show it. also, since your 12th house is the house of dreams, you could often make dreams that involve yourself. you hardly ever dream of someone else, and if you they’re probably your lovers, possibly your friends. you may also make daydreams or sleeping dreams of creative, utopic scenarios. venus is also sitting there; you most likely have lots of dreams, that could even predict the future, and generally they're not too violent or turbulent. you’re hopelessly romantic, to the point that you almost look naive. you’re not simply looking for a partner or spouse, you’re looking for a soulmate; someone you can literally communicate with just using your eyes, someone that knows how to make you feel even messier on the inside. you like to nurture and feel nurtured in a relationship. your ideal lover would be sensitive and empathetic, yet still with a sort of rebel vibe to them.
❤️ love life, soulmates
in love, you attract pisces, sagittarius, aquarius and scorpio placements. your future spouse will most likely have some of their planets in scorpio or aquarius; they’ll be well-balanced, with a stable job and finances. yet, they won’t be too much of a workaholic, as they’re also most probably a chill individual who loves relax and vacation as well. they could also be foreign and very open-minded. yet, they could be quite impulsive and chilidish at times. your chart points out that this relationship will be kind of unordinary; you may meet them abroad, most likely at work, or even during a simple trip. they’ll also be very spiritual, perhaps religious, or even psychic. your children will have aquarius placements: they’ll be extremely open-minded and intelligent; they could be a bit rebellious, but in a very woke and revolutionary way. they'll be very creative and quite sensitive too. also, this placement indicates that you may get pregnant unexpectedly, so be careful to that.
👶🏻 family life
your mother was probably very outgoing, sociable and open-minded. she was probably very intelligent too, and she could have been a successful student. she was basically the perfect, nurturing mother. yet, she probably was too emotional, she could have even been quite possessive or moody. she probably has sagittarius, scorpio, gemini, leo and / or cancer placements in her chart, as well as 9th, 8th and 4th house placements. your father, on the other hand, was probably less strict than your mother. he had a complex personality, he most likely used to act different based on the situation he was in. but you most likely used to play a lot with him, you had fun together. he could have been very sociable and intelligent too. he may have gemini, sagittarius or virgo placements in his chart, as well as 3rd and 6th house placements, perhaps even 9th. if you have siblings, they have scorpio, libra or aries placements in their chart, as well as 1st / 7th / 8th house placements. you might have fought a lot when you were young, there were many control issues and your bond is very intense. yet, you're still very affectionate, and your bond will probably get better as time goes by.
📊 career
as I've already mentioned above, your future career will most likely involve communication of any kind; you could have to interact with other people, and hence you may work in a place that allows you to communicate with others and that can get quite crowded, like a shop for example. you'll most likely start from these small jobs, like working in a cafe for example. yet, your gemini midheaven indicates that you can handle way stronger careers; above all, communication and creativity are the most indicated fields for you to be successful. you would do amazing as a writer for example, or perhaps you could even become an amazing teacher / professor. yet, you may even choose to pursue a more complex career, like a career in the med field. you could become a nurse for example, as it allows you to both help and communicate with other people. you will start from simple things, but as time goes by, you'll be able to become more independent, maybe even a leader. you probably won't have to depend too much on other people.
👚 fashion sense, style analysis
keyword for your wardrobe: black. every leo venus loves black, it's probably my favorite love story. after all, it's such a versatile color! it can be both badass and classy, how can I blame you. you may also have a thing for anything that looks luxury and high quality; you probably enjoy wearing designer brands, especially in your belts and bags. you may also like wearing fitted clothes, even just simple skinny jeans or tight tops. aside from black, you could as well use white and bold colours like gold, hot pink etc. also, you may as well be into pastel colors, and you could like following fashion trends.
👁 past life, life purpose
in your past lifetime, you used to put your spirituality aside for a while to focus on finding out your identity here on the earth. you learned how to be responsible, healthy and stable on the earth. you know your values, and they’re already very grounded, you’re very mature from this point of view. in this lifetime, you now need to get more in touch with your spirituality. you need to get close to your higher self, and you may actually be quite skilled at it; probably you may interpret your dreams, you could be interested in religion, what’s beyond the world, and you’re most likely also interested in astrology and other occult matters. you’ll finally be able to reach happiness and fulfill your soul when you start having awareness of your soul’s purpose. since you’ve booked a reading, I’m sure you’re already on the right path, so keep going this way.
🤔 major transits analysis / june 18th
a few unpredictable, possibly painful events may occur in this period of time, as transit saturn is in your 5th house conjunct your natal uranus. there could be an unexpected loss of money for example, a sudden breakup or argument or even death. something will happen that will surely change your view of things and will help you have a major transformation, in order to leave toxicity behind.
🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills
the best way for you to manifest is idealizing and acting at the same time. you have both energies combined in your chart, which is great actually! I’d suggest you to first picture what you want in your life, and then do something concrete to manifest it. for example, let’s suppose you want this gucci bag; first, think about it deeply. then, you could try going into a gucci shop and just walk around, maybe even touch that bag. you’ll get results if you believe it! it’s also great to write and read/listen your own positive affirmations, such as 'I love my gucci bag’, 'the gucci bag my mom gave me is amazing’ and so on.
and this is it! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)
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platinummice · 4 years
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This was a lot more that i thought for some reason, the answers are pretty short and to the point so if you want me to elaborate on something a bit more feel free to ask :)
@rockshortage
What of the Meyers-Briggs personality types they most fit into? INFP, ENFT, et cetera…
Did a take a test to figure this out? Why yes, yes I did. ISFP-T, or Adventurer is what I got for Archer.
Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it?
He sure does, but he doesn’t really know what it is. He mostly just thinks he’s going literally insane. It’s a pretty big reason for him not sticking around people very much even though he craves affection.
Are they good at handling change in their life?
No not really, Archer has a hard time, now more than ever trying to keep his simple life together, he’d prefer it not change as much as possible.
Is your OC a martyr?
He tries pretty hard not to be, or at least to not show that he is. He sees the truth though.
Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others?
Archer is pretty straight forward, if he fucked up he’ll say something. But he’ll make things up for others if he like them enough.
Does your OC compromise easily? Too easily?
I guess it depends? If its not something that matters very much, compromise will be easier, but if he thinks it’s important then he’s going to be harder to bargain with.
Does your OC put others’ needs before their own?
Only his dogs and his friends needs get put before his own. Anyone else? so sorry.
Does your OC have any addictions? If so and problematic, have they admitted it to themselves?
He’s addicted to taking in animals? Seems harmless, but in truth he does it so he has a reason to keep living, which isn’t healthy. I can’t say he’d still be alive if he hadn’t taken Ranger and Fletcher with him the day those raiders killed the rest of his dogs. 
Does your OC have any phobias? If so, where did they come from?
He’s terrified of needles. Thanks mom and dad.
Is your character empathetic?
He is, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to care.
Is your character observant?
Yes, very. Probably because he works with animals a lot, and its very important to notice their body language, so he can read people and situations pretty well. Plus he’s more of a sniper so being observant is important.
What’s one of your OC’s proudest moments of themselves?
He was really proud when he finished building his house, and all the furniture for it.  
Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do?
He doesn’t get jealous very easily, but even when he does he doesn’t bring it up. He’ll sulk around a bit, and when asked he’ll say he fine. He wont really feel bad about if? Its just an emotion, it happens sometimes.
What instantly irritates them or puts them in a bad mood?
Seeing people hurt animals for no reason. He will throw down. Might not win, but its the thought that counts.
Are they harsh on themselves?
YES.
Do they make excuses often?
Nah he’s pretty fast to admit when he’s doing something wrong.
Is your OC intended to be found generally attractive? Unattractive? Average? Is there a reason why?
I mean i didn’t make him like super ugly? But i wasn’t going for amazingly attractive either, so average i guess?
Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it?
He wears a mask all the time so he really doesn’t care. I mean at one point he had tore most of his hair out and just had a few scattered clumps clinging to his head, but people couldn’t see his face so it didn’t matter to him.
What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it?
He got some damn big emotional problems, and he recognizes some, like his slowly diminishing will to live. But things like his urge to have someone else control his entire existence he doesn’t really realize are problems. 
Do they believe you have to give respect to get it, or get respect to give it?
Everyone starts off with a set amount of respect. You either get more or have it taken away depending on your actions.
Is your OC considered funny? Do they believe they’re funny?
Arch can be pretty funny, if he has anything its a sense of humor.
Does your OC find any “bad” or “mean” humor funny? Do they wish they didn’t?
Yeah he does, what can you do. No guilt will stop him.
Do they have a large or small group of friends?
He has two dogs and sometimes he works with a stinky man. He thinks Gage is a friend but does Gage think he is a friend? Who knows if Gage will ever tell him.
Do they have people they are genuinely honest with about themselves?
....His dogs?
Does your OC enjoy social events, such as parties, clubs, et cetera..?
He likes talking to people, but if there are too many people around he gets overwhelmed pretty fast.
Does your OC like to be the center of attention or more in the mix?
More in the mix, he gets anxious.
Do they consider themselves superior or more important than anyone else? Lesser?
Arch considers himself less important then most people, thats mental illness babey. 
Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?
He’d throw everything to the wind for his dogs. Sorry friends, but they’ve helped him through too much.
Do they believe people change over time? If so, is it a natural process or does it take effort?
Well he knows that he has changed a lot, so why not other people too?
How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general?
When he was in the Mojave, Joshua taught him about Mormonism, but he didn’t really understand. He remembers some stuff, but after he left he didn’t try to keep up with practicing it. 
Do they believe in an afterlife?
It’s not something he takes time to think about really. That kid of a ‘ill cross that bridge when i get there’ type thing
Would they like to be immortal? Why, why not? If they are immortal, would they rather not be?
He would definitely not like that. He can barely manage his mental health as it is.
Would you say that your OC is intelligent? In what ways? Would your OC agree?
Smart when it comes to plants and animals, just about everything else? Not so smart.
How many languages do they speak?
Speaks exactly one(1) language.
Do they enjoy learning? Do they actively seek out sources of self-education?
He likes learning things, its just getting that knowledge to stick in his head that’s a problem. He doesn’t really seak out knowledge but if he has the chance to ask about things he will.
What sort of home do they live in now, if at all? How did they end up there?
Its just a little shack like building, but he built it and he’s proud.
What’s their ideal home look like? Where is it?
A big ol’ farm house, lots of room for lots of dogs/friends
Could they ever live in a “tiny home”?
I dont think so, but it’d be funny as hell.
How handy are they? Can they fix appliances, cars, cabinets, et cetera?
He can fix simple things, cabinets, chairs, dressers. Nothing too much more advanced than that.
How much do they work? What do they do? Do they enjoy it?
He works really all the time. From when he wakes up to when he goes to bed. He basically runs a mini zoo by himself, its a lot of work but he loves it.
How often are they home?
Pretty often, he has animals to take care of.
Are they homebodies and enjoy being home?
Not really, he likes being out and about.
Do they engage in any of the arts? How good do you intend them to be? Would they agree they are?
Archer is actually pretty musically inclined, he’d never admit it though. You might be able to catch him singing to his dogs, if you're lucky.
Would they enjoy a theme park?
Maybe if he could somehow go when there aren’t any people there. That might sill be pushing it. He gets overwhelmed easily.
Is your OC close to their family?
Nope.
Who makes up your OC’s family, at least the more important members to them?
He only ever knew his mom and his dad. If there was anyone else in his family he never met them.
Does your OC find their family supportive? If not, what would be an example why not?
Nah he really doesn’t think they’re supportive of him. They definitely wanted him dead.
What kind of childhood did your OC have?
:)
Did they go through any typical phases growing up?
He went through a lot of things, but never got the chance to be emo.
What is your OC’s orientation, romantic and/or sexual? Has it ever been a source of stress for them? Have they always been pretty sure of their orientation?
I know i said he was strictly gay yesterday but im thinking he’d actually probably be Pan and he’d just lean towards more masculine partners. He hasn’t really thought about his sexuality so he’s never had a reason to be stressed over it.
Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover?
Any space in his mind that was supposed to be used for math and literacy etc. is now storage space for little facts about the people he cares about. He will remember. Oh you said you thought this flower was pretty six an half years ago in passing and i found one so i thought id bring it back for you.
Does your OC believe there’s only one ideal partner (or multiple ideal if not monogamous) for everyone, or that there are many people who could be right?
Probably that there are multiple people who could be right.
Does your OC believe in love in first sight?
He barely even knows what love is, really.
Does your OC believe in marriage (or their culture’s equivalent)?
He doesn’t really understand the point of it but if his S/O wanted it, he’d agree.
Has your OC ever cheated on anyone or been cheated on?
Nope :)
What’s your OC’s idea of a perfect date?
Climb to a really high place, lil picnic, watch the sun set, (maybe hold hands?) look at the stars.
What are some things that your OC finds to be an instant turn-off in potential partners?
Not liking animals. They’re literally his entire life, you cant be with him and not like animals.
What are their favorite kinds of flavors– Sweet, salty, sour, spicy, creamy, et cetera?
Umami. But he’ll literally eat anything, especially if he’s desperate.
Are they vegan/vegetarian (if their overall culture/species generally aren’t)? If so, why? Do they think animal products are wrong in all circumstances?
He doesn’t really eat a lot of meat cause he wants to hurt as few animals as possible. He uses most of the meat he hunts for his animals, and only eats it when there is nothing else, or if there’s the possibility of it going to waste.
How often do they cook? Do they order out a lot?
He cooks pretty often, that being said do NOT eat what he makes! I dont know how he is still alive!
Could they eat the same thing they enjoy over and over and not get bored of it quickly?
Yep, in fact that's basically what he does already. Food is food babey.
Did you create the character to be like yourself, did they end up being like yourself, or are they very different from you?
Archer wasn’t ever supposed to be like me, and he’s not really, which i think is a good thing?
Would you hang out with your OC if you could?
Yes he needs hugs and I will provide.
What’s the longest you’ve had an OC for?
I’ve technically had Archer for 5 years thats a long time :)
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kodzukenscorner · 4 years
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hiya, for haikyuu matchups, i'm a bi (leaning towards guys) girl of short-average height with long, straight, black hair and v dark eyes. i'm an isfp-t + i don't initiate conversations with people i'm unfamiliar with. i can be analytical and judging/observing, but then i can also be impulsive and act/speak without thinking, leading to some regrettable decisions. 1/4 - 👑
i'm ambitious and diligent when it comes to my goals and things that i enjoy (i'm a hufflepuff for a reason), though without motivation to do something, i'm liable to  procrastination. i am very passionate when it comes to things that i love (volleyball lol) and i strive to get better. i feel guilty when i'm not trying my hardest to get better (or not trying at all). i can be awkward at times so i get slightly offensive. 2/4 - 👑 i like lightly teasing the people that i love, and i offer support to my friends and family, acting as an advocate for them. despite being quiet, i am more talkative with people i'm familiar with. i like making people laugh, as well as making people proud and living up to their expectations. i don't like change because i'm not very adaptable, but i know that it is needed to progtess. i'm not the most empathetic person but i do try to consider how my words/actions would affect people. 3/4 - 👑 i'm somehow i'm very sympathetic however. i'm considered the "smart girl" because i get good grades and am quiet during class. i tend to try hard or give more effort than what's needed, but i also do the bare minimum if i'm not interested. sometimes i compare myself to others, and i despise the thought of people surpassing me, but i try not to think that way. bye! sorry if it was long! 🤗 4/4 - 👑
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Your match is...
Akaashi Keiji
Akaashi’s personality is a lot like yours so you two get along extremely well
He compliments you in a lot of ways, and if there is anything you struggle with, Akaashi can help you out
Both of you are more quiet, analytical people
But that also means that Akaashi can tell if you’re feeling down, or unmotivated so he will immediately be ready to help you out
He knows you can sometimes act impulsively and is there to help you think things through so you don’t regret something
He worries about you and just wants you to make smart choices
He also knows how you can be prone to procrastinate so he’s very good at helping you set a schedule for yourself and helps you complete tasks
Thankfully, even though he’s quiet, he’s not an awkward person so he is more than happy to be there for you if you’re not comfortable in a social situation
He’s very good at adapting and dealing with change so if you’re ever struggling with that, he’ll shoulder the burden for you because he just wants you to be happy
He’s perceptive and empathetic to people, especially you because he cares about you deeply and wants to support you so you can achieve your goals
Runnerup:
Sugawara Koushi
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aeipcthys · 4 years
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╰ ❛   💉 — › olivia wilde.  cis-female.  she/her.  .  ╯ have  you  met  lucy fields  yet  ?  this  thirty two  year  old  libra  has  been  living  in the seattle  area  for  five months.  she  makes  a  living  as  a  fetal surgery fellow which  is best suited for their clever,  witty,  indecisive,  and  defensive  personality.  delicate by damien rice  is  one of  their  favorite  songs,  and  they're  written  by  jess, 22, est, she/her.
trigger warnings: death, break-up, pregnancy complications, infant loss
full character page here
BASIC INFORMATION
Full Name: Lucy Jane Fields
Nickname(s): luce, fields
Age: 32
Date of Birth: september 29
Hometown: boston, ma
Current Location: seattle, wa
Ethnicity: white
Nationality: american
Gender: cisgender female
Pronouns: she/her/hers
Orientation: bisexual / biromantic
Religion: atheist
Political Affiliation: democrat
Occupation: fetal surgery fellow, ob/gyn
Living Arrangements: staying in hotel, searching for new apartment
Language(s) Spoken: english, some french
Accent: american
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
Face Claim: Olivia Wilde
Hair Color: light brown
Eye Color: blue
Height: 5'7
Weight: 120 lbs
Build: petite / some muscle
Tattoos: cursive ‘love, mom’ on her ribs
Piercings: ears
Clothing Style: casual, but stylish
Usual Expression: soft smile
Distinguishing Characteristics: sharp blue eyes
HEALTH
Physical Ailments: none.
Neurological Conditions: none.
Allergies: apples
Sleeping Habits: sleeps when she can; trouble turning her mind off
Eating Habits: eats well (but maybe not always the healthiest)
Exercise Habits: morning runs, gym when she’s frustrated
Emotional Stability: operating at a 6, but trying to present as an 8
Sociability: doesn’t mind often being around other people
Body Temperature: average
Addictions: none.
Drug Use: wouldn’t be against some weed every now and again
Alcohol Use: socially
PERSONALITY
Label: tbd.
Positive Traits: clever, witty, charming, empathetic, passionate
Negative Traits: indecisive, defensive, insecure, noncommittal, stubborn, vain
Fears: not being wanted, failure, extreme heights
Hobbies: saving babies
Habits: lip biting
FAVOURITES
Weather: thunderstorms, fall weather
Colour: mint
Music: folk, indie, rock, alternative (really most anything)
Movies: horror, thriller
Sport: basketball, hockey (despises baseball)
Beverage: coffee, gin
Food: tacos
Animal: dogs
FAMILY
Father: arthur fields, cfo
Mother: anna fields, deceased
Sibling(s): christian fields; hazel fields, deceased
Children: none.
Pet(s): patches (german shepherd), deceased
Family’s Financial Status: upper class
EXTRA
Zodiac Sign: libra
MBTI: esfj
Anything Else: Lucy has been in Africa working at the Namboze Clinic, but recently decided to quit after some missteps. She has just recently returned to Seattle to resume her fetal surgery fellowship.
BIO
Lucy grew up in Massachusetts to a moderately wealthy family. Her father, Arthur, was a lawyer and her mother, Anna, was a real estate agent. The beginning of her childhood was pretty happy. Average. Her older brother Christian and her fought a lot, which made them unruly children in their home.
When Lucy was 9, her mother became pregnant with her third child. Lucy was very excited to have a younger sibling, especially when they found out it would be a girl. Lucy longed to be an older sister so she would have someone to boss around (and also hopefully someone to idolize her). The pregnancy really brought the family together. That was, until, there were complications.
TW: infant loss, death
Around the seventh month of Anna’s pregnancy, she went into labor. Anna had an antepartum hemorrhage and became bleeding. Lucy was there with her brother when she was rushed to the hospital. There were complications during surgery, things Lucy didn’t understand at the time. Their father had rushed to the hospital from work, only in time to be told they hadn’t been able to revive Anna. APH had resulted in fetal hypoxia, and the baby was also unable to be saved. They mourned the loss of both, naming their lost daughter/sister Hazel.
Things really changed for their family following Anna and Hazel’s deaths. Arthur became much colder towards his children than he ever had before. He was extremely hard on Christian and Lucy, and it caused rifts in their relationships. Lucy even went away to a private high school to attempt to escape from it. The only person from her family she remained extremely close to was Christian. Lucy loved her brother, and what they experienced as children really helped to bring them closer together.
When Lucy decided she wanted to go into medicine, her mother was a large influence. She thought her father would be proud, but he was disappointed that she had not chosen the path he thought would be most suitable. Arthur preferred Lucy pressure a career in law, much like he did. Apparently, being a doctor wasn’t what he wanted and, therefore, it just wasn’t good enough.
Lucy attended Harvard Medical School and the went on to Duke to complete her residency. Her focus was in OB/GYN and fetal surgery. When the time came to choose a fellowship, she was wowed by the offerings of Seattle Grace Mercy West, specifically that Addison Montgomery (the doctor she wanted to model her career after) had previously worked there.
A little while into her fellowship, Lucy met Alex Karev. Lucy absolutely hated Alex at first. He had been wildly offensive and rude upon their first conversation. However, over time, he grew on her. She saw a softer side of him, and realized that some of the tougher parts of him acted as a defense mechanism. She began to engage in a relationship with him. Around the same time, Callie Torres got into her car accident, and Lucy failed to adequately help her and Sofia. It was a huge blow to Lucy’s confidence. She felt so embarrassed by admitting she was in over her head.
This influenced Lucy to start applying to other hospitals and seeing what was out there. She applied to Baylor and was upset when Alex didn’t ask her to stay. When she found out Alex was interested in the job in Africa, she didn’t even consider that it would be something she was interested in. However, as Alex spoke about it, she realized he was not setting aside opportunities. He was putting them first, ahead of their relationship. So, Lucy applied for the job and eded up stealing it out from underneath Alex. She regretted it almost immediately, seeing the hurt on his face, but it was too late. The opportunity was still great, and she had to go.
After a fem months away running the Namboze Clinic in Malawi, Lucy made the decision to return to Seattle to finish her fellowship. While in Africa, she didn’t fully feel present. It was as if she knew she had just been running away from the things that scared her. Her relationship. Her failures. Now back in Seattle, she had the very best teachers to learn from. However, she knew it would be difficult learning to navigate the hospital with how she left things with Alex and the other doctors at SGMW.
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sailor-etheria · 4 years
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SPOP & The Enneagram
What is the Enneagram
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From one point of view, the Enneagram can be seen as a set of nine distinct personality types, with each number on the Enneagram denoting one type. It is common to find a little of yourself in all nine of the types, although one of them should stand out as being closest to yourself. This is your basic personality type.
Points about the basic type:
People do not change from one basic personality type to another.
Not everything in the description of your basic type will apply to you all the time because you fluctuate constantly among the healthy, average, and unhealthy traits that make up your personality type.
No type is inherently better or worse than any other. While all the personality types have unique assets and liabilities, some types are often considered to be more desirable than others in any given culture or group
Wings: No one is a pure personality type: everyone is a unique mixture of his or her basic type and usually one of the two types adjacent to it on the circumference of the Enneagram. One of the two types adjacent to your basic type is called your wing.
Your basic type dominates your overall personality, while the wing complements it and adds important, sometimes contradictory, elements to your total personality. Your wing is the “second side” of your personality, and it must be taken into consideration to better understand yourself or someone else.
Source: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/how-the-enneagram-system-works
Adora
Type Two with a One wing (2w1): "The Servant"
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Basic Fear: Of being unwanted, unworthy of being loved
Basic Desire: To feel loved
Key Motivations: Want to be loved, to express their feelings for others, to be needed and appreciated, to get others to respond to them, to vindicate their claims about themselves.
Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. They are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. They typically have problems with possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs. At their Best: unselfish and altruistic, they have unconditional love for others.
Type Two Overview
We have named personality type Two The Helper because people of this type are either the most genuinely helpful to other people or, when they are less healthy they are the most highly invested in seeing themselves as helpful. Being generous and going out of their way for others makes Twos feel that theirs is the richest, most meaningful way to live. The love and concern they feel—and the genuine good they do—warms their hearts and makes them feel worthwhile. Twos are most interested in what they feel to be the “really, really good” things in life—love, closeness, sharing, family, and friendship.
Perhaps the biggest obstacle facing Twos, Threes, and Fours in their inner work is having to face their underlying Center fear of worthlessness. Beneath the surface, all three types fear that they are without value in themselves, and so they must be or do something extraordinary in order to win love and acceptance from others. In the average to unhealthy Levels, Twos present a false image of being completely generous and unselfish and of not wanting any kind of pay-off for themselves, when in fact, they can have enormous expectations and unacknowledged emotional needs.
Average to unhealthy Twos seek validation of their worth by obeying their superego’s demands to sacrifice themselves for others. They believe they must always put others first and be loving and unselfish if they want to get love. The problem is that “putting others first” makes Twos secretly angry and resentful, feelings they work hard to repress or deny. Nevertheless, they eventually erupt in various ways, disrupting Twos’ relationships and revealing the inauthenticity of many of the average to unhealthy Two’s claims about themselves and the depth of their “love.”
Type 2 with a 1 wing (2w1)
In Integration: Type 2w1s are the warm, generous, loving people you’d expect, with a shade of moral obligation and resolve thrown into the mix. Their desire to do good in the world and to meet the needs of others is amplified by the 1w motivation of correctness. Their generosity is often turned toward social justice and they truly wish to change the world for the better through their efforts. “They are often Good Samaritans, willing to take on thankless and unglamorous tasks that others generally avoid.” (The Wisdom of the Enneagram, Riso & Hudson, pg. 130) 
In Stress/Disintegration: In stress, the 2w1 experiences the drive for perfection of Type Ones. They still want to be needed and give, but the 1w makes them think that they know best. Often, 2w1s in stress will begin to impose their “help” onto other people, intruding into their lives in order to tell them the correct thing to do. They can often seem preachy, going on and on about what they perceive to be right — in your life, not theirs — and rub others the wrong way. 2w1s in stress can also struggle with severely judging themselves. Type Twos have trouble recognizing their own feelings and needs, and the 1w makes them further think that personal desire is somehow wrong or selfish. They toil away for others but often resent the fact they are not recognized for their work. In extreme duress, the 2w1 can even begin to neglect their bodies, melding together the body shame of Type Twos and the strive toward physical perfection of Type Ones. This can lead to bodily neglect, eating disorders, or extreme exercise regimens.
Personal Growth Recommendations for Enneagram Type Twos
First and foremost, remember that if you are not addressing your own needs, it is highly unlikely that you will be able to meet anyone else's needs without problems, underlying resentments, and continual frustration. Further, you will be less able to respond to people in a balanced way if you have not gotten adequate rest, and taken care of yourself properly. It is not selfish to make sure that you are okay before attending to others' needs—it is simply common sense.
Try to become more conscious of your own motives when you decide to help someone. While doing good things for people is certainly an admirable trait, when you do so because you expect the other person to appreciate you or do something nice for you in return, you are setting yourself up for disappointments. Your type has a real danger of falling into unconscious codependent patterns with loved ones, and they almost never bring you what you really want.
Sources:  https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-2 https://www.google.com/amp/s/enneagrampaths.com/2018/07/23/enneagram-2w1-vs-2w3/amp/
Next: Catra.
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card-and-flame · 5 years
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Neverending Survey - Ravard
RULES: Repost, do not reblog. Tag 10 blogs!
tagged by: @lavender-hemlock, @alannah-corvaine tagging: @feathers-and-fantasies, @nijah-wolff-ffxiv, @elu-delouche, @eaotheelf, @celestial-benediction, @ash-like-snow-xiv, @miqojak, @moonlit-endeavors, @trc-xiv, @whisperingdawn
BASICS.
FULL  NAME :  Ravard Kasun
NICKNAME : Rav, Enigma, Ravvy (use at your own risk)
AGE :  30
BIRTHDAY : 26th Sun of the 3rd Umbral Moon
ETHNIC  GROUP : Hyur (Midlander)
NATIONALITY : Ul’dahn
LANGUAGE / S : Common, Mhachi, Amdapori (read only)
SEXUAL  ORIENTATION : Pansexual
ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION : Heteromantic.
RELATIONSHIP  STATUS :  In a relationship.
HOME  TOWN / AREA :  Ul’dah
CURRENT  HOME :  Dravania
PROFESSION : Gambler, Black Market Trader, Relic Hunter
PHYSICAL.
HAIR : Raven black, medium length and messy
EYES : Pale green, always watchful
FACE : Roguishly handsome, constantly smirking confidently.
LIPS : Average
COMPLEXION : Tanned
BLEMISHES : None
SCARS : Left cheek from his jawline towards his nose, several crossing his torso.
TATTOOS :  Full arm sleeves of various Mhachi sigils, covered by glamours.
HEIGHT :  5′10
WEIGHT : Average.
BUILD : Athletic.
FEATURES :  Scruffy beard, piercing eyes, .
ALLERGIES :  None.
USUAL  HAIR  STYLE :  Barely styled, usually left to fall as it will. Generally framing his face.
USUAL  FACE  LOOK :  Confident or amused.
USUAL  CLOTHING :  Situational. When in city-states generally dresses up in suits or at least higher quality clothing. When out traveling, generally dresses comfortably in loose clothing he doesn’t mind getting dirty.
PSYCHOLOGY.
FEAR / S : Powerlessness, Loss of control, Loss in general
ASPIRATION / S :  To attain true understanding of magics both mundane and forbidden. To acquire enough wealth that he won’t have to ever live as he did as a child again.
POSITIVE  TRAITS : Intelligent, charismatic, outgoing, quick-witted
NEGATIVE  TRAITS : Arrogant, greedy, distrustful, vengeful
MBTI : ENTP
ZODIAC / (Guardian) : Cancer /  Thaliak, the Scholar
TEMPERAMENT :  Choleric
SOUL  TYPE / S : The Scholar
ANIMALS :  Crows
VICE HABIT / S :   Smoking, drinking, gambling, stealing
FAITH :  Disciple of Nald’thal
GHOSTS ? : Yes.
AFTERLIFE ? : Not fully.
REINCARNATION ? :  No.
ALIENS ? :  No.
POLITICAL ALIGNMENT : They’re all corrupt in some way, shape or form.
EDUCATION  LEVEL :  Self-educated until age eight. Taught by the Ossuary until age 16. Self-educated in the time since. Considers himself constantly learning.
FATHER : Lukas Kasun, lives in Ul’dah with his wife.
MOTHER :  Carina Kasun, lives in Ul’dah with her husband.
SIBLINGS : Elias Kasun, younger brother, Sultansworn, lives in Ul’dah.
EXTENDED  FAMILY : Aunts and Uncles he’s never met, likely cousins too.
NAME MEANING / S : Kasun -  To order, To command
HISTORICAL  CONNECTION ? : No.
FAVORITES.
BOOK :  Ancient primers on forbidden schools of magic. Books on history or philosophy.
DEITY : Nald’thal.
HOLIDAY :  All Saint’s Wake
MONTH : October.
SEASON :  Autumn.
PLACE : Dravanian Forelands.
WEATHER : Rain.
SOUND / S: Crackling fire, gravel.
SCENT / S :  Lavender, whiskey, rain.
TASTE / S :  Whiskey, homemade stews, cakes.
FEEL / S :  Silk, cool breezes, fire
ANIMAL / S :  Crows, apkallu, wolves.
NUMBER : 8, 15
COLORS : Black, white, red
EXTRA.
TALENTS : Gambling, sleight of hand, quick-witted.
BAD  AT :  Conjury, accepting defeat, trusting people.
TURN  ONS : Intelligence, quick wit, warm smiles, soft words, mutual respect, confidence.
TURN  OFFS : Fools, second-guessing, willful ignorance, disrespect, whining.
HOBBIES : Reading, gambling, magic, adventuring, sleeping.
TROPES : Sorcerer, Career Criminal, The Gambler
QUOTES : “I didn’t come this far to only come this far.”
MUN QUESTIONS.
Q1 : If you could write your character your way in their own movie,  what would it be called,  what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?          
A1 : It would likely be an action/adventure with a lot of dark, sarcastic comedy. It would definitely be an origin story, starting somewhere around the end of his time in the Ossuary with intermittent flashbacks to his youth, up to close to current day. As for what it would be called? Probably something silly, like The Fire of Knowledge. Or Nald’thal’s Flame. Definitely something fire related.
Q2 :  What would their soundtrack/score sound like?          
A2 : There wouldn��t be any one genre that would be featured, instead having a pleasant blend of just about everything from emotional instrumentals, up to heavy metal that you can feel rattling your bones.
Q3 :  Why did you start writing this character?          
A3 :   So, Rav’s not my first character in FFXIV. I ended up switching to him for personal reasons (nothing bad, promise!), and wrote him to be something new for me to work with. More laid back, more morally ambiguous (than an already morally ambiguous character, but that’s besides the point). As I’ve written him more and more I’ve come to enjoy him quite a lot. He’s more charismatic and manipulative than characters I’ve played before and I’m honestly having a blast.
Q4 :   What first attracted you to this character?          
A4 : Ravard was a new direction for me to explore in RP. I’ve been RPing for literally over half my life, but my characters were always the same general type. Ravard was something new and exciting to try.
Q5 :  Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.
A5 : I don’t really enjoy how much of an isolationist he really is. He’s outgoing enough that he can start and carry on a conversation. He’s capable of making friends, but to date he generally prefers to be alone with the exception of one or two people in his life that he goes out of his way to spend time with. Part of that could be the fact he generally thinks most people are idiots and a waste of time unless he can make money off them, but that’s a whole different can of worms to open.
Q6 :  What do you have in common with your muse?          
A6 : We both have had a hard time feeling like there’s any one place that could be considered ‘home’. There’s places that are good stop-offs but nothing that’s truly felt ‘right’. We both find solace in people, rather than places. We also both enjoy solitude and time to ourselves with our thoughts.
Q7 :   How does  your muse feel about  you?          
A7 :  He honestly probably would see me as a potential mark to steal from at first. Once he got to know me, we’d probably get along decently well. We have a similar innate sense of humor and world view. He’s just.. a lot more vocal, and more willing to break the law.
Q8 :  What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ?        
A8 : Anyone who can carry on a decent conversation in regards to magic, history or philosophy. Despite being primarily self taught, he is actually extremely well read and enjoys intelligence in the people he associates with. He’d also be interested in meeting business partners or simply people who need something done that may not be entirely above board.
Q9 :  What gives  you inspiration  to write  your muse ?        
A9 :  A lot of it comes from the music I listen to. I also genuinely enjoy telling the story of the morally questionable mage who found a way to turn luck and fate to his side. Even if he personally states he doesn’t believe in luck or fate. If I have someone interesting to RP with, too? Inspiration galore.
Q10 : How long did this take you to complete ?          
A10 : Six days. Though I had everything but the mun questions done on day three.
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warmheartworldwide · 5 years
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A Busy Gap Year - seeing through children’s eyes
The following blog comes from Rex Lin who is completing a six-week stay at Warm Heart:
I graduated from high school earlier this year and decided to take a gap year. Although I was a good student, I wanted to do something more than just studying all the time. I am not a typical Taiwanese teenager. My family lives in Homei township, in central Taiwan, and both my parents work in factories. My mother is ethnic Vietnamese and, like many others from southeast Asia, married my father and emigrated to Taiwan in the 1990s. She was very brave to leave her home in search of a better future and she encourages and inspires me a lot. I think that she has influenced me to become a more empathetic person. 
I first got involved in activism in high school. There is a nearby chemical factory with 1000 workers which was still using three older power plants which emitted toxic gases. Some of my classmates campaigned for a month and succeeded in getting those plants shut down. None of the workers lost their jobs because the factory has newer power plants that are up to code but which are more expensive to operate.
Initially my parents were surprised about my gap year decision but after I told them about my plans, they supported me wholeheartedly. I first became aware of children’s rights in the eleventh grade when I was the leader of our student association. I looked into any matter involving students and advocated for their rights. Then I was chosen to represent Taiwan and speak at a review conference of national reports on the rights of children. After that I studied the subject more thoroughly and spoke at the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. 
I consider myself to be quite outgoing. Since I was 10, I have seriously studied English and use it whenever I can at international events where I can meet and make foreign friends. Since I enjoy public speaking, my first gap year activity was to organize a two-month lecture tour targeting 50 engagements all over Taiwan. Most of the lectures were staged at schools, NGOs or other institutions. On average, about 30 people came to each lecture. Mostly I talked about student and children’s rights and how to protect them. I got a lot of support and feedback from the students and teachers who attended. Since I am not from a wealthy family, I think my story inspired some people and made them realize that they can also change their lives.
After my lecture tour, I realized there are still so many things that need changing, both in Taiwan and the rest of the world, and that’s what I want to work for. I understand that change might come slowly and only in gradual steps. I also realized that I am a good listener and always ready to learn more about people and their lives.
In Taiwan, students try to show in their college applications that they have previous volunteer experience both at home and abroad. I had never volunteered before so when a friend told me about Warm Heart and its involvement with children’s education, I decided to apply. I liked Warm Heart’s grassroot approach and its “helping people to help themselves” philosophy. I thought that working more closely with the Thai people would allow me to truly understand their problems. At the same time, I was also worried about Warm Heart’s location in the countryside, in the middle of nowhere.  
During the interview process with Evelind, when she asked me about my plan for my stay, I panicked. I had just graduated from high school and had no special skills, so how could I really help? Whatever I had learned about children’s rights during my past experiences in Taiwan, how could I transfer the knowledge if I didn’t speak Thai? Luckily Evelind said that we would find out what I could do after I got here. I was quite relieved because I really wanted to come.
My parents wondered why I didn’t choose to volunteer in Vietnam but I had already been there several times to visit my mother’s family and wanted to discover a new place. I managed to get a government subsidy which covered about half my expenses. The Taiwanese government is quite generous with students who require financial assistance for higher education and I will also be getting grants to cover my university education. My last activity before coming here was at the 7th Global Trend Youth Forum which was hosted this year by Taiwan and where I served as a youth pilot.
After getting here, I began by observing everything and trying to understand how Warm Heart works and everyone’s role. I saw how great the burden of constant fundraising is. I joined visits to the elderly and disabled in our community. One visit was to a grandfather who did not seem to be disabled. He had a wife and sons and his home was in good condition. At first I didn’t understand why he needed help. But after more visits, I realized our goal was to establish a good relationship, one of trust. Even though I needed to go with Noina, Warm Heart’s public health staff member, who translated for me, the residents really appreciate our visits and getting the attention.  
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Fellow volunteer Malory says goodbye to local resident when she finishes her time at Warm Heart
Many of the elderly feel neglected because their family members are too busy working and unable to spend much time with them. Lying all day in bed by themselves, just watching television, without enough human interaction, they can get overcome with stress and other negative emotions. We pretend to be their sons and daughters for a short time. We ask them simple questions like “Did you sleep well last night?” or “Do you have enough blankets to keep you warm?” We show that we actually care.
Every project at Warm Heart is aimed at improving the welfare of the residents in the surrounding communities. At the same time, it is important to always respect the residents. I wondered how they perceive Warm Heart, an NGO set up by foreigners that uses foreign volunteers. Maybe they don’t really need us. But then I think that our role is to help them see the different possibilities of ways to improve their lives. If we can build up their trust in us, they will gradually accept us and the obstacles and walls will break down. So maybe sometimes we need to slow things down and work more on building the trust.
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Biochar stand with other volunteers at Citylife Garden Fair in Chiang Mai
The most valuable lesson I´ve learned at Warm Heart is how to see the world through the eyes of children. Most of Warm Heart’s kids have had a difficult start. Some have parents who take drugs or risk imprisonment; others have dysfunctional families and have been neglected. I asked myself, what do these children really need? Do they really need more dull classroom lectures? In Taiwan, many people think that children from poor families just need to study hard to improve their lives. But there is a big difference between the opportunities for children who are supported by their families who have resources and those who are not.
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Warm Heart kids share their photos with volunteer John (left)
I think the Warm Heart kids all know that education is important if they want to find meaningful work. Warm Heart cooperates with several hotels, restaurants and tourist agencies to involve the older kids who are interested in internships or apprenticeships leading towards decent jobs. But the kids lack creative activity that teaches them something about the world and themselves. With this in mind, I organized several activities during my stay. In Taiwan, kids welcome the coming of the winter solstice by making sweet rice balls. My goal was for the kids to feel a sense of achievement when eating the rice balls they had made themselves. Seeing their smiling faces when they tasted the rice balls for the first time, I knew that our bonds were closer.  
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Warm Heart kids make sweet rice balls
Warm Heart has been in operation for over a decade. It takes a long time to build the trust which is needed to effect true change. As the Warm Heart kids grow up to be pillars of that trust, going into higher education and creating good lives for themselves and their families, we will gradually see the fruits of our hard work.
I now regard myself as a budding social anthropologist. Observing and learning more about everyone’s social and family contexts, their customs and living habits, helps me help them. As for working with children, I just want them to be able to evolve happily and in a carefree way. Our task is to provide a positive environment with sustainable economic support and stable educational resources. Without obstruction, hopefully each child will then be able to find their own path.
My busy gap year will continue after I leave Warm Heart. Before resuming my studies in sociology at the National Taiwan University in Taipei, I have a short-term paid contract with the Taiwan Alliance for the Advancement of Youth Rights and Welfare, a large NGO. In collaboration with the Scottish children’s and youth parliaments, our committee will be creating a model children’s parliament to show the Taiwanese government how it works. There are many children’s parliaments across Europe but, as far as I know, there aren’t any yet in Asia. We will build the structure and encourage students and children to join and empower them accordingly. It's a tough task but I’m looking forward to the challenge.
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Mali, Wonhui, Malory (front), John and me (back)
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OH BOY NEW OC. this is more of a sona if anything but, this my new girl Heartbreaker! she’s a doctor/mnemosurgeon seeker who’s very goal is defy everything it means to be a seeker. (bio under cut)
Name: Stellarus of Vos Nicknames: Heartbreaker (Common designation), Sizequeen (Mercenary alias), Turbo Rabbit, Bunny, Stella, Starlight
Mental Age: 21 Sexuality: Bisexual, Mech-leaning Height: Slightly shorter than average Seeker size Altmode: Cybertronian Tetrajet / F-35 Lightning II Faction: Decepticon
Occupation: Doctor/Mnemosurgeon, Wartime Mercenary for hire
Creation: Forged
Sparkplace: Vos Hotspot Identity: Vosian Education: Iaconian Academy of Medicine Frame type: Seeker Personality: Cold, stubborn, conniving and even a little bit flirty, Heartbreaker was once a strong-willed rebel who wanted to do nothing more than help those around her who suffered under the Senate and to change Cybertron’s society for a better, brighter future. A one-percenter from Vos, she had empathy stronger than any other like her, but with a spark so tender, life wasn’t the sweetest towards it. With repeated harshness and disappointment, Heartbreaker grew cold, closed off even. Nobody knows much about her before the war, but what people do know is that she’s out for nobody but herself. Her own secret agenda with a long checklist, the Seeker will stop at nothing once she sets her eyes on something. Stubborn as a leader-class bot, she won’t let anything go until it’s dealt with accordingly. However despite her exponential processor power and her calculated approach towards everything, even she is not immune to the folly of cybertronians. A side many seemed to know intimately, Heartbreaker was no stranger to Cybertron’s many pleasures in life. Often flirtatious towards those in a higher position than her own, recruits and even her own victims, nobody is safe from Heartbreaker’s insatiable drive. Either way, Heartbreaker is considered a mysterious enigma who strayed to far from her own light.
Bio: Fliers weren’t anything new to Cybertron, many Cybertronians were fliers. However there was a specific frame of such that have always been an enigma to the planet. Seekers. In their prime they were Cold Constructed soldiers for the Decepticons, fashioned in the image that of their leader Starscream. However Seekers weren’t unheard of prior to the great war. Perhaps rarer, but not unheard of. However unlike Starscream, their frames differed bit by bit, as many forged sparks would take it. Stellarus of Vos was no different.
One of the few hundred or so Seekers to be forged rather than constructed, Stellarus was rather unique. Many other Seekers existed but compared to them the femme was considered gifted. Special. But in the eyes of the Senate, she was nothing but another commodity. Seekers were considered nothing short than novelty, pretty little things whose only job was to act. Many seekers were showmen, flying in troupes to perform for Cybertron’s populace. The Vosian Seeker Academy was basically that, a school made to shape Seekers into the small mold of a perfect citizen and perfect entertainer. Initially Stellarus didn’t have a big problem with her studies. She liked the feel of wind against her wings and nose cone when she practiced her routines but she could care less for the history lessons she had to learn. Seekers were good for two things from what she discovered. Librarians or performers. Nothing else. However quickly did the young Vosian learn that none of the aforementioned professions interested her in any capacity. She wanted something more fulfilling. While she liked flying, she didn’t want that to be her job. However, she didn’t know what she wanted. She was an ace student, of course. Her academics were nothing short of incredible. But it was a bore.
But
She discovered her passion by passing. A small mistake. A bump in the shoulder.
The femme wasn’t as tall as the other Seekers, and even then, Seekers weren’t exactly large to begin with, They were slim, agile. Larger than minicons and cassettes of course, but compared to the average common class, they were shorter. Stellarus? She was shorter by a foot, give or take. So when she bumped into a larger mech down in Iacon on a retreat, he didn’t exactly expect to see a shortstuff seeker in his way.
Stellarus wasn’t timid at all, however. She was fierce, stubborn, feisty even. However when she saw the red cross on the Mech’s shoulder and the datapads he carried, her hostile demeanor changed. What is that? Where are you going? This mech could of brushed her off and left her in the dust, but instead he indulged in her questions. She was a medic in training studying at Iacon’s most prestigious medical school. Her optics widened and in that moment she realized what she wanted to do. She wanted to pursue medicine.
What made Stellarus so special. What made her so unique among the rest. She was empathetic. Heavily empathetic. So empathetic she can actual detect the strength of one’s spark. What was wrong with it. And how to fix it. She wasn’t any Cybertronian, she was a One-Percenter.
Her powerful empathy made her extremely compassionate for others. A young spark who wanted to see everyone on common ground. She knew personally how rough society is towards those lower on the caste. How the Senate will force your function until the day your spark snuffs itself. She wouldn’t have any of it. After that fateful encounter, day after day, Stellarus would sneak out of her dormitory and head to Iaconian libraries. There she’d pile datapads of medical textbooks and read. If she had any chance of becoming altmode exempt and attending the Medical Institute of Iacon, she had to prove that she at least had the spark and passion for it. And after repeated denial from the Senate, she finally earned her exemption and strided towards the medical academy. However getting into MIOI wasn’t easy. At the back of her processor she figured the reason they finally granted her exemptment was because they knew how hard it was to get into the academy and that she would eventually give up and go back to Vos. But they underestimated Stellarus and her extreme stubbornness. Once she sets her optics on something there is no going back. She WILL get into the Medical Institute of Iacon whether it takes a stellar cycle or an ano-cycle. Society wasn’t kind to Stellarus. It worked against her and her goals to help others. With prejudice from her ability to prejudice of her frame. Everything was harder than it should of been. She failed again and again, yet she never gave up. But perhaps she became bitter, cynical of a goal she worked for. Her views went from peaceful to a bit anarchistic. Those higher up on the caste didn’t matter. Many said they’d support the abolishment of the functionist caste and create equality yet she saw them do nothing to help her and the many other miners and industrial workers who slave away for the Senate and higher caste workers to function. Anger boiled up in her as she repeated hit a wall and eventually, all her stress and attempts paid off. After a little over a deca-cycle the board finally gave Stellarus admission to their school. She was nothing short of ecstatic to finally have all those cycles in the library pay off and finally help those around her. All the miners and workers who get injured building Cybertron’s infrastructure and enduring the prejudices set by the government, she can at least be there to help fix their wounds. Just like her time at the Vos Academy, she was a star student. Nothing but high scores and impressive marks. However something changed during her time at the academy. Despite finally making it, students and even professors still had some sort of problem with Stellarus. Whether they realized it or not. It didn’t even matter if she told them how wrong they were being, high caste bots won’t change. However despite the low expectations the school had on her, she excelled farther than any flier before her. She also began to grow defensive as well, her feisty nature manifesting into a locked down reclusive interior and a hotheaded exterior. There were two types of mechs who approached her. Those who had something to say, and those who believed what they say about Seekers. Either way, Stellarus had two ways of dealing with them. Shutting them down the harshest way she knew, or stringing them along and using them for her own gain. Either way, by the time she graduated, she was given the designation ‘Heartbreaker’.
Heartbreaker, as everyone referred to her now, wanted to help those on the lower end of the caste. Could she work at one of the reputable medical centers in Iacon or Praxus? Perhaps. But she chose to hop between clinics in the Dead End. If she wanted to say she worked at a hospital, she supposed she worked at the one in Kaon.
The Kaonian hospitals weren’t terrible but they were… Extremely understaffed and extremely under budgeted. She knew it wasn’t the hospital’s fault, but the Senate. But she knew that she could do little to change it on her own. So for the time being she just tried to help as many lives as she could. However with such an esteemed doctor working in Kaon, it drew the attention of the senate once more.
Many Cybertronians were familiar with the rumors and conspiracies surrounding the secret government-ran facility, The Institute. From word of mouth to shock value news, many speculated on what the Institute did, if it even existed. Many people who were theorized to have wronged the Senate were thought to be sent there, never to return. At least, never the same. One night when working a late shift at the hospital, Heartbreaker was approached by a man claiming to be a representative of one council member. He requested an audience with Heartbreaker. Skeptical at first, Heartbreaker nearly declined. But if this person really did represent a member of the Senate, maybe this is her chance to start doing more to help those in need.
What she expected was the usual ‘why is a Seeker like you working in a hospital.’ But instead, she was greeted with acknowledgement and praise on her achievements. A stark different from the demeaning and ridicule she received when attempting to speak with the senators. Something was wrong. She quietly listened to the mech talk of her attributes and even pull up a datapad with a file of her. Eventually he concluded with his little monologue with a proposition.
How would you like to work for the Senate?
Heartbreaker’s optics widened as she glanced around the small room.
What did he mean work for the Senate.
Oh, the Institute of course.
She’s heard of The Institute. Everyone has. The horrors that went down there. Most of the victims were revolutionaries who fought against the system, who tried to overthrow authority. Low castes who couldn’t catch a break. She couldn’t… She couldn’t do that to them.
However the senator’s brow ridge raised at her lack of an answer. He left her to think on it for a while. Leaving Heartbreaker a number to call if and when she decided she’d do it.
Of course, it was a harsh battle of morality and ethics. On one hand if she works for the senate, perhaps she can pull the strings like a shadow puppetmaster and influence their decisions on eliminating the caste system. But on the other… She’d be sacrificing many freedom fighers in the process.
But, she supposed, that was a sacrifice willing to be made in the eyes of progress.
Her work at the Institute was hard cut for her. Empurata, Shadowplay. Her hands were retrofitted with Mnemosurgery grade spikes. Over time she became desensitized almost to the act. Something that scared her to think about. But she had to look past these heinous operations in order to gain the trust of the Senate. Mnemosurgery is the act of viewing one’s memories and given the opportunity to edit them. She could even rewrite someone’s personality if she really wanted too. If her suggestions couldn’t sway the Senate, then perhaps she can attempt something in a more forceful manner.
In the eyes of Heartbreaker nothing seemed wrong, nothing she did could be at fault. She was fighting to abolish the functionist caste yet, was it really worth all these lives?
When the riots and war broke out, Heartbreaker saw herself aligning with the Decepticons. Megatron’s ideologies and speeches spoke to her on such a personal level. And with her abilities she was almost a needed asset for the Decepticons. However with the progression of war, so does come change within organized factions.
She put down her bandages and picked up weapons. She used her ability to hurt, not heal. She set aside her empathy and sought to eliminate those who stood between her and a perfect, equal, Cybertron.
Young Heartbreaker wouldn’t do this. But young Heartbreaker was naive and didn’t know how cruel the world could be.
Sure she realized how skewed the Decepticon cause became. From protesting a corrupt government to trying to form one, she still had a sense of humanity in herself. While she didn’t leave the Decepticons, she took a more neutral approach to the war. A mercenary. Or an assassin, whichever one a person needed. With an extended arsenal of weaponry and abilities, she was a force to be reckoned with. She was everything needed for a terrifying killer. Sneaky, conniving, and cruel. She didn’t just kill her targets, no. She was a mnemosurgeon after all, she had her due before any energon was spilled.
She was a hollow shell of the hopeful, charismatic and moral Stellarus. To the Decepticons she was Heartbreaker, a cold and calculated doctor who served her own agenda. But to everyone else, she was a mercenary who didn’t hesitate to take what she wanted along with your spark.
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missroserose · 5 years
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Meme city, vol. 3:  self-positivity!
I was tagged in this one by @letshargroovetonight and @tracy7307—thank you, loves!
Rules: Answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, tag 10 of your favourite people (non-negotiable, positivity is cool).
1.)  I’ve had an interesting life.  It hasn’t always been the life that I ‘wanted’—ask me about the four years I spent in Arizona purgatory!—but I’ve done unusual things and lived in more and more varied places/cultures than average, and it’s given me an unusual and valuable perspective. 
2.)  I’m always trying to broaden my perspective.  Listening doesn’t come to me naturally—my usual inclinations are more along the lines of “I’m the star, isn’t everyone here to listen to me?”—but my father once told me something quite useful:  “if you think back over the past few minutes and you haven’t learned anything, maybe you’re talking too much”.  I’ve worked hard to learn how to make space for others in conversation and genuinely consider what they have to say, and it’s absolutely one of the most useful skills I have, both for social bonding (so many people are desperate to feel heard and seen!) and for expanding my own viewpoint.
3.)  I’m in the best shape of my life right now, despite being on the cusp of middle age.  I try to be careful how I talk about this, because the subject of physical fitness is so fraught in our culture; I want to acknowledge the work I’ve done (figuring out dietary and lifestyle changes as well as the hours of actual exercise) as well as the areas where I’m lucky (having the time and disposable income to devote to exercise and good food, as well as being physically healthy to begin with and living in an environment with plenty of opportunities).  But I’m proud of the where I am without (I think?) being judgemental towards people whose abilities/priorities are in other areas.
4.)  I’ve worked hard to be more compassionate towards others—but I can still unleash the snark when I need to.  As a teen/twentysomething, I was all about passing judgement and making fun of people’s hypocrisies and generally being a critical person, and honestly a good chunk of that was because I didn’t like myself very much.  I’ve since done a lot of work towards being more compassionate and open with myself, and that’s given me the ability to be more open and accepting with others—I’ve found that I’m much happier if I give others the benefit of the doubt, and work from the premise that we’re all doing the best we can from where we’re at.  (It’s made me a much better teacher, too—it’s hard to teach someone from where you think they should be rather than where they are!)  That said, I’m glad I have that ability to think critically about others and articulate their problems; it’s saved me worlds of difficulty in dealing with disingenuous people!
5.)  I try hard to make people’s lives around me a little better every day.  Whether that’s exchanging pleasantries with the homeless dude who hangs out on a particular street corner, or smiling at the guy in the wheelchair crossing the street, or listening empathetically to a friend or client who’s been having a rough time, or giving somebody a killer massage or yoga assist, or bopping along the street with “Uptown Funk” in my headphones and watching people laugh as i dance past them Miles Morales-style, I’m always looking for opportunities to help people feel a little better.  In the yoga training I went to recently, we talked about a quote that resonated with me:  “The definition of a perfect action is one that brings harm to no one and happiness to someone.”  That’s pretty close to my life philosophy—I can’t fix the many large and difficult problems we’re facing, but I can maybe inspire people to feel a little more connected and hopeful, and that’s not nothing.
Tagging @blahblahblaharringrove, @skybound2, @twobrokenwyngs, @laveracevia, @asakiyume, @marsza, @suitofarmour, @trashcangimmick, @runs-in-the-family, and @black-hearts-and-broken-fists!  If y’all feel like it, I’d love to see your lists.
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