#It’s been a year since we’ve talked and god it’s amazing to just be friends again and have no hate

[jammintothebeat2]

Happy Friday my Lovelies!

Fly home by The Living Tombstone

GOD I LOVE ZERO_ONE SM AHDGCGWGGSGD ❤️

[leaawrites]

Bed Chem (PA17)

Paul Aron x fem!reader

Summary: when in desperate need for good food, get a cute guy's phone number.

Warnings: fluff, maybe some minor smut, cursing,

Wordcount:

Masterlist, Short n'Sweet Series

Coast. Sun. The Italian beauty surrounding you in a way you hoped would stay in your memory forever. Friends around you that you wished would stay by your side forever. The stones under your feet so soft and soothing in a way it could only happen in the summer.

Y/n looked up from her book, watching out for her friends every once in a while to see if they were still both alive in the ocean. Seeing them have fun and play mermaids made her smile. A feeling of warmth spreading through her chest that only they could make her feel. The shadow of the cliff next to their secret spot was providing her the medicine she needed most from a headache forming from the heat.

They were in Italy for a few days already. Mostly in the water or taking pictures or eating. It was what they were there for. Getting time off from university and living life a little more fully. They have been friends ever since kindergarten and with summer being the only time they could see each other, they spent their whole time together.

She could hear voices talking on top of the cliff and soon enough a body landed in the water. Breaking the surface with a big splash and scaring the three girls with the sudden movement they didn’t expect. Abby let out a loud scream of shock and Lola only laughed at her reaction. Not as faced by the action as her friends, Y/n stayed back. Observing rather than interfering. She didn’t know where this would go but if it was good, she didn’t wanna ruin it.

Watching the interaction from afar, she had a clearer view on how many people were in the water. 4 guys and her two friends.

“I’m sorry if we scared you, but we called out,” he said, apologizing and defending himself at the same time. Holding his hands up in defense.

“Don’t worry, just a small shock,” Abby said, waving his guilt off and assuring him that they were alright.

“Isn’t it dangerous to jump from so far high up without knowing where you’ll land?” Lola interfered in their conversation. Bugging in with her motherly protective nature.

“We do this very year, it’s fine,” another guy said. He had thick blond hair and seemed rather muscular. The corner of his lips pulling up slightly as he talked.

“You are here every year?” Lola asked, her eyes widen and hope flickering through her pupils. They all nodded, confused at her sudden happiness. “We’ve been trying to find a good dinner place that isn’t already booked out every night but also tastes good. Maybe you have some recommendations?”

“Sure,” the blonde answered. “You’ve got a phone with you? We could send you some addresses if you want to.”

“That would be amazing,” Abby said. She was already starving for great food ever since they arrived, hearing the possibility of great Italian food was all that she needed to get out of the water. The blonde followed her.

They walked over to where Y/n sat, who was still watching, Abby taking the girls phone and opening the contacts. She held it to the guy and waited for him to take it before she glanced down at her friends scowling face. Being the only completely single friend, it was always her phone that was used for guys’ phone numbers. ‘It could be someone good between all the other assholes,’ Lola explained the first time they did it. It hadn’t worked once.

He gave it back to Abby, before looking at the other girl too. “Hey.” He smiled at her. The way he looked at her making her face heat up and her chest churn.

“Hi,” she said back, squinting her eyes from the sun and smiling back awkwardly.

God was he hot.

Abby gave her the phone back before leaving the pair to their own devices and jumping back into the water.

“I’m Y/n,” she introduced herself. The least she could do now that she already had his number in her phone.

“Paul,” he said back, shaking her hand that she had stuck out to him.

“Paul, come on. We’re doing another round,” one of his friends shouted their way, making them both look at him waving for Paul to walk over.

“I’ll see you,” Paul said before hurrying off.

“What are you doing now?” Abby asked, laying down next to her friend on the bed.

They were back in their beach house, waiting for Paul to send them the locations.

“Nothing,” Y/n answered, looking at her phone in hopes of the boy texting her. He didn’t.

“Maybe just ask him,” Lola proposed from the table she was seated at, her mirror in front of her and make up strewn around the surface.

“I’m not texting him again,” Y/n said. “One time is more than enough.”

A simple, ‘hey, it’s Y/n from the cliff today. Got any good dinner places for us yet?’

Not her text, not her confidence.

Abby stole her phone after she wondered too long about what to write for her liking. It was always about taking risks for her. Even on the cost of others.

In the next second, her phone lit up, signaling a new message incoming. Looking at the screen, the two girls on the bed squealed.

Paul had answered.

‘Hey, got a few of our favourites for you.’

And then 4 links to websites of restaurants near them. The three of them looked through them, after sending a ‘thank you’ and eagerly imagining the delicious food they will hopefully soon taste.

Another text from him, when they were on the second website, looking through the menu and prices.

‘Maybe we could take y’all out, a little tour guide around restaurants if you will ;)’

“Holy shit,” Lola said, smiling at the pop-up. “Holy shit. Answer him!”

“What am I supposed to say?” Y/n panicked as she clicked on the text icon.

“Say yes!” Abby urged her, shaking her by her shoulders in excitement. “Maybe he’ll take you out all alone tomorrow.”

“Abby, calm down,” Y/n said, blushing. A deep shade of red creeping up her face. “I barely know him.”

“The way you looked at him said enough,” Lola joined in on the teasing.

“I didn’t look at him in any way.”

“Sure, you didn’t,” they both said at the same time, rolling their eyes in the process. “But then there was they way he looked at you.”

“He didn’t look at me in any way!” She kept on trying to make them shut up.

“Yeah, right.”

“I bet he’s good in bed,” Abby said, never having a filter over what should stay in her head and what was appropriate to be shared with the world.

“Oh my god, stop it!” Y/n let out frustrated, letting her head fall on the mattress.

“Just admit that you think he’s cute.” They didn’t receive an answer, but a groan instead. Probably an eye roll too. Still she couldn’t get the pictures out of her head. With him hovering over her, his arms brushing over her skin so delicately and yet so desperately. Could he be the exception?

His lips on her hips, on her collarbone, on her own. His voice whispering in her ear in such a filthy manner. What would he sound like the morning after? Would his voice be raspy? His accent thicker than it already was? Would his body feel softer, more relaxed?

She imagined their bodies moving together, almost melting into one. Them laughing when something didn’t go the way they planned. Her laughing at the feel of his hair against her bare skin.

A feeling of warmth spreading through her body that only he could make her feel. With his sweet voice whispering in her ear. His hands on her waist, on her face, on her thighs.

‘We would love to.’

[therapycat21]

Oh Baby

Requested: Yes/No

Request:

Hi, can you please do one about the Travis and Taylor rumors going around. Maybe like your Taylor’s sister dating Travis secretly for awhile now and your pregnant. And like the Taylor concert he went to he was like there with you and the football that Taylor went to she was like there with you. And it all comes out that he’s with you and not Taylor and they find out your pregnant and all and are so shocked and didn’t see it coming. Like if that makes sense 🙂

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Me and Travis have been together for a five years now and have been in a private relationship due to the past of both of our relationships. Since we decided to be private it has been nothing but amazing .We had met from mutual friends of my younger sister Taylor.

   One of her backup dancers had known Travis from meeting him at the Super Bowl where he danced for Rihanna. 

  Travis and I officially met at the Superbowl party after they won and we’ve been together. Since then we had gotten a house together, married, and had a few fur babies but now as we stare at the screen in the dim room and the nurse moving the doppler around, we finally see our baby, we’ve been coming here for six months now and looking at our baby never gets old. We still have our gender reveal to do in the next few weeks but for now, we have to wait. 

After wiping the gel off my stomach, I see Travis’s phone lighting up on the counter “Hey babe? Your phone’s going off” I tell him, the tight grasp he has on my hand is gone as he opens the phone screen, I continue to wipe the gel off and get myself together so we can leave when Travis lets a giant frustrated sigh resonate throughout the room. I look at him to see frustration masking his face “Baby what’s wrong?” I ask. He looks up from his screen before turning the phone towards me, I take the phone and start reading the news article. There have been many news articles about Travis potentially dating someone new every week at this point I'm used to it.

I look back up at him seeing the serious look on his face. “What do you wanna do about it?” I ask him, not knowing how to go about this, he rubs his forehead “I wanna be done hiding you and the baby. I know It’s a lot to ask of you but I just want the world to know I’m with you and I’m happy” he tells me. 

I give him a once over before nodding “How about this, we don’t say anything yet, but we go out together and just do what we usually do at home, outside, and once it starts being noticed, then we’ll find a way to confirm it, is that okay?” I ask him, making up a plan so it’s easier. He smiles nodding his head at the plan “Alright, let’s do that” he gives me a chaste kiss before we leave the private room and start to head home, since this is a private doctor's office, no one knows we’re here, we get in the car and start driving home  “how about tonight? We can start by going to Taylor's concert” I suggest as we pull up to the house. I look over and see him nod his head in response “Yeah let's do that, Let's get in cause we don’t have that much time before the concert.” He tells me.

We both got ready, and we both decided to wear white. We arrive at the stadium and are escorted to where Taylor is in the back, As I see her she quickly walks over to me, pulling me into a hug being cautious of my stomach, she lets go before softly rubbing my belly “Oh my god, I feel like you were 2 months like last week and now you're almost done” she tells me before pulling me into another hug before turning to acknowledge Travis “oh my god, how are you? How’s everything?” she asks him. He hugged her back briefly before talking a bit about what was going on. 

We were interrupted as one of the managers came over to tell us it was time to head to our seats and for Taylor to get in position for the concert. We all hug one last time before Travis and I head to our family balcony seats.

     3 Hours Later

 After a few hours of enjoying Taylor’s set, I noticed some fans pointing their phones to wear Travis and I were sitting, I nudged him a bit to let him know, and I saw him look down, acknowledging them and giving some a few waves as they capture pictures of him, if only we knew what everyone would be thinking by noon tomorrow. 

After hanging with Taylor for a bit at her after party we decided to head home so I could rest after being on my feet for a long time. Me and Travis are freshly showered and lounging on the couch watching Marvel before we head to bed for the night.

     The Next Morning

The pressure on my bladder is what wakes me up from my comfortable sleep, I try to roll out of bed not even bothering to check my phone, and head to the bathroom to get ready for the morning, I can still hear Travis snoring as I hear my phone chime with a notification, I walk over to my nightstand grabbing my phone, opening it to see a crap ton of messages from Taylor and a few of mine and Travis friends. Opening the first message I see from Taylor

        “Did you see this? I don’t wanna say anything unless you want me to cause I don’t want to add any more stress on you, no one knows me and Henry are together yet but I  still need to talk to him about that, I love you please let me know, ”

   I clicked on the link she sent, seeing it's an article from ENews.

 I kind of expected this to happen considering I don’t really like to be in the spotlight, even as Taylor’s older sister I never really strived for that, Now don’t get me wrong, almost all of Taylor’s fans know of me from over the years. 

  I went to Travis's side of the bed and gently shook him awake  “What? What's going on?” He asks groggily, I turn the phone screen and watch him as he reads the article title, he shakes his head before turning to sit up “What the hell?” is all he responds with while reading the article. He hands the phone back to me before picking up and checking his phone. I continue going through the messages from friends when I get sent another article, It is dated back to when when me, Taylor and our mom went to one of Travis’s games last week, and of course it is titled almost the same, with the public thinking they’re dating. Broken out of my thoughts, Travis slams his phone down on the nightstand, I put my phone down while walking over to him, I cradle his head into my chest, rubbing his head “I wanna be done with this” Is all he says to me.

   I continue rubbing his head before he kisses me, getting up to use the bathroom. While he is in the bathroom, I contemplate, I already know what he wants to do but I know he isn't doing it because of my hesitation with it becoming more public. I decide I’m done being scared and hiding myself. 

I pick up my phone before opening Instagram and uploading a picture we had taken recently at our maternity shoot and without a second thought I posted it. I quickly shut my phone, a little nervous to even look at it. I waddle into the bathroom where Travis is standing at the sink brushing his teeth. He looks at me in question, seeing the nervous look on my face. He quickly finishes his teeth “Are you alright?” he asks I open my phone screen and quickly turn it towards him. As he checks the post, I am filled with nerves but they quickly diminish as a giant smile breaks out on his face.

Putting the phone down he pulls me into a tight hug as best as he can, he lets go running out of the room, I peek out, waddling over to see him opening his phone and making his own post.

After he posted the picture, he pulled me towards him with his head leveled with mine as he was sitting on the bed, He pulled me into a soft kiss “Thank you, I know how hard it was to do that” he tells me smiling softly. I chuckle rubbing the side of his beard “It was nerve-wracking no doubt but other than that, it wasn’t that hard” I reassure him. We’re both broken out of our silent bubble, simultaneously getting a notification chime, we both open our phone screens to see we were tagged in a Twitter post by Taylor Letting everyone know that she is indeed dating someone named Henry and how Travis is only and will only ever be her brother-in-law.

Travis still holding me by my waist pulls my face to him, kissing me softly, nudging his nose against mine, and softly rubbing the bump "I love you so much" he tells me softly, I smile "I love you too baby" I tell him pulling him in for another kiss.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

For some reason, I feel like this sucks but It's whatever, I may rewrite it but for now, here it is,,,enjoy!!

Much Love

TC21

[tortillamastersblog]

ⴵ My Best Friend’s Little Sister | Yelena Belova ⴵ

Pairing: Yelena Belova x reader

Warnings: steamy scene (no smut), blood, major injuries and ANGST

Summary: Telling your best friend Natasha about your relationship with her sister doesn’t go as planned.

Part 2

________________________________________________

I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and place one last kiss to the inside of Yelena’s thigh before moving up her twitching body.

She’s panting and flushed in the best way possible and when I come into view above her, her hand finds its way to the back of my neck and pulls me into a kiss.

Her other hand roams over my shoulder and chest, continuing down across my ribs until it settles on the small of my back.

“My God,” she mumbles against my lips, “You are amazing.”

I chuckle and pull back to look at her. “You always say that.”

Yelena’s smile mirrors my own, her eyes sparkling with adoration. “Because it’s true.”

I brush some hair off her sweaty forehead, enjoying the way she brushes her fingers over my lower back. “So are you,” I say quietly, vulnerability seeking into my voice. “You’re amazing.”

She’s not just amazing, she’s absolutely breathtaking. Since we started dating over a year ago she’s had this overwhelming grip on my heart. To say I didn’t love her would be a straight up lie, but we haven’t said that to each other yet and I’m waiting for her to say it first.

Her past has made her wary of anyone and everything, so I’m giving her the choice of whether or not she wants to take what we have to the next level.

So, for now, all I can do is repeat her sentiments back to her and hope that she somehow knows what I actually want to say.

Her green eyes dart between mine, tender and affectionate as always, but now there’s something new in them. For just a second her lips part and I think she might say something but then she just smiles again.

The tiniest bit of disappointment spreads in the pit of my stomach, but I ignore it when I remember why I snuck into her room in the first place.

I peck her lips, one, two, three times, making her giggle and settle down next to her. She turns and lays her head on my chest, her leg curling over my hips.

“Listen, I’ve been thinking and—“ I shift awkwardly as I run my fingers through her hair “— I know we talked about this before, but I really think Nat should know about us.”

Yelena stiffens but stays quiet, so I continue.

“She’s my best friend and I just— I hate keeping things from her, especially when they make me happy.“ I take the hand she’s rested on my stomach and press a kiss to her knuckles. “You make me happy, Yelena. So fucking much, and I’m tired of hiding that.”

How we’ve managed to keep our relationship a secret from Natasha all this time is still a mystery to me, but since the very start of it, the guilt of it has been eating away at me.

I wanted to tell her from day one, but Yelena insisted we keep it between the two of us. Why? I’m not entirely sure, but I respect her wishes. Since it’s been over a year since then though, I think it’s time to come clean.

“Yelena?” I nudge her, waiting nervously for a response.

Yelena sighs and sits up. She grabs the sheet and pulls it up to cover herself. “Y/N…”

I know she’s about to shut me down, but this is important to me, so I say, “Please, baby. She’s my best friend and your sister. Why don’t you want her to know?” I sit up as well and place my hand on her knee over the sheet.

“She’ll hate me for stealing you,” she whisperers after a moment of silence.

“Yelena…” I squeeze her hand and dip my head to catch her eye. “Nat could never hate you. Besides, I think she’d kick my ass long before ever thinking of kicking yours, I mean, I’m her best friend and I’m sleeping with her little sister. That’s like the biggest no-no in a friendship; Never go for the younger sibling.”

Yelena cracks the tiniest of smiles and takes my hand off her knee and interlaces her fingers with mine. “You’re not just sleeping with me though,” she argues lightly.

“No I’m not. We’re dating which is even more reason to tell her. Don’t you think she’d be happy for you? For us?” I counter argue, scooting closer so our legs are touching.

Shaking her head, Yelena sighs softly. “No, of course she’d be happy, but—It’s not just that.”

My eyebrows furrow and I tilt my head in question. “Then what is it?” I probe gently.

Green eyes find mine and I’m surprised to find something akin to shame in them.

“Hey, what is it?” I whisper, scooting even closer so I can press a kiss to her forehead.

Yelena drops the sheet and snakes her free hand to the back of my neck where she plays with my baby hairs, here eyes dropping as she admits, “It’s silly, but…this is the first thing I’ve ever had that is truly my own. Something I haven’t had to share with her. I just— I don’t want to lose that.”

I pout at her words and squeeze her hand. “Baby, hey… Please, look at me.”

Hesitantly, she raises her eyes again and I try my best to look reassuring when I say, “I get that. Trust me, I do. But you aren’t going to lose this–” I gesture between us with my free hand–“if we tell her. You aren’t going to lose me.”

Yelena bites her bottom lip and blinks rapidly to get rid of the tears that have appeared in her eyes. “Okay,” she says finally, nodding. She opens her eyes and smiles weakly. “Okay, let’s tell her.”

I beam and surge forward to press a kiss to her lips. It’s so fast that Yelena yelps in surprise before kissing back. Our intertwined hands disconnect and her free hand joins her other hand at the back of my neck.

We kiss feverishly, her tongue running over my bottom lip until I grant her access, and I use my super soldier-strength (I have Hydra to thank for that) to pick her up and get out of bed.

On instinct, her legs wrap around my waist and her grip on my neck tightens.

“Let’s—“ Kiss. “Tell her—“ Kiss. “After the mission—“ Another kiss. “Tomorrow.”

Yelena hums and I take that as a yes, so I start carrying her to the bathroom. “Shower?” I ask against her lips and, again, she just nods.

I laugh lightly and resume the kiss, barely even making it to the shower as Yelena’s lips start traveling down my neck.

Ducking behind a wall, I reload my gun and catch my breath. The deafening sound of gunfire surrounding us is making my hands shake and it takes me three times to insert the new magazine into the gun.

My mind is on the mission: secure the warehouse, grab the hostages, and get out.

The same can’t be said for Natasha, who’s crouching beside me. She raises a hand to the collar of my suit and tugs it down, letting out a disbelieving laugh. “Well, well, well. Look what we’ve go here.”

My head snaps around and I slap her hand away. “What?”

Natasha laughs, obviously not phased by the ongoing fight. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Incredulous and confused as to what she’s referring to I raise an eyebrow. “Tell you what?”

Poking my neck with her finger, which I slap away once more, Natasha states, “You’re seeing someone!”

Judging by the blank look on my face, Natasha figures that I still don’t know what she’s talking about. She rolls her eyes and points at her own neck. “You’ve got a hickey and because I know you’re not one to hook up, you must be seeing someone.”

My cheeks heat up instantly and I choke in surprise. “I— What? No!”

Damn it, Yelena.

We agreed on no hickeys in visible places. Looks like she got a bit too carried away last night.

“Yes you do!” Natasha exclaims, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Who is it? Oh, don’t tell me it’s Bucky. I thought you said you didn’t like him?”

“What—No! It’s not Bucky!” I screech, bewildered. “Why would you even— You know what? Never mind, let’s just focus on the mission.”

Natasha whines. “Nooo, come on. Tell me!”

I look around the wall to make sure the coast is clear, before turning back and hissing, “Not now!”

“Fine,” Natasha shoots back. “But you have to tell me later.”

I sigh and roll my eyes. “Yeah, whatever. Now let’s go. You take the ground floor. I’ll take the stairwell.“

Natasha smirks and wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. I fight the urge to shove her and get going, entering the warehouse with a deathly grip on the handle of my gun.

The warehouse is run down and the smell of damp concrete and moss is almost overwhelming. Every window has been busted and the bricks of the walls are beginning to chip.

I continue up the stairs with my gun raised, ready to shoot, until I make it to the top level. There’s no one in sight, so I press a finger to the comms piece in my ear and ask, “Any sign of the hostages, Steve?”

“Negative.”

I huff in frustration, trying to ignore the gunfire that is still going on outside and downstairs.

I make my way past some abandoned offices and turn a couple of corners before getting to the spider web of metal walkways that stretches over the largest, main storage room.

I set a tentative foot onto one of the metal grates and put pressure on it. It creaks ominously and I retract my foot, knowing it’s not safe to walk on.

I’m about to turn around when there’s a grunt and then a thud to my left.

I spin around just in time to see Yelena and one of the Hydra agents crash through a metal door and stumble onto the walkway.

The metal groans under the load and my eyes widen. It could give out any moment and I can’t imagine watching Yelena fall to her death.

I want to shout and tell her to get off the walkway, but that would distract her and give the Hydra agent a chance to beat her.

I raise my gun and aim at the dark figure who’s driving Yelena backward and further onto the walkway with the force of his blows. It’s of no use though because I can’t get a clear shot with all the movement and I can’t risk hitting Yelena.

It seems as though she’s got everything under control though because after taking a few more hits she recovers and retaliates with such a strong kick, it knocks the Hydra agent off his feet. But then a second one bursts through a door to my right, his eyes landing on Yelena’s back.

He doesn’t see me and raises his gun in a flash. I want to scream, but he’s already pulled the trigger. My eyes squeeze shut in horror, but nothing happens.

When I dare to look again, the agent is examining his gun. He tries to fire again, but it’s quickly apparent he doesn’t have any bullets left, so he tosses the gun aside.

I raise my own gun again and aim it at him. Before I can do anything though, he pulls a knife from one of his pockets and takes off in a sprint across the walkway.

My stomach drops and without thinking I leap onto the walkway myself. “Yelena!”

She’s too busy with the other agent who’s managed to get back on his feet, so I focus on the second agent.

He still hasn’t noticed me, so I push myself harder. I have to get to him before he gets to Yelena. My ears are ringing and my feet are pounding on the creaking metal, but I keep pushing.

“Yelena, look out!” I try one more time and this time she turns around, her eyes widening.

The second agent is only a couple of steps away from her and raises his arm, ready to bring the knife down on her.

He never gets the chance though because with a final push I leap forward and tackle him. We fall and hit the metal grate with an ear splitting crack.

Then, the falling doesn’t stop.

“Y/N!” The cry is heartbreaking and I close my eyes at the look of pure horror and disbelief on Yelena’s face.

My stomach swoops like it does on a rollercoaster, and for a moment it feels like I’m flying.

But what is it they say? L’important, ce n’est pas la chute; c’est l’atterrissage.

I hit the ground hard. For a moment, everything seems to be fine. Then, it hits me like a train. Everything hurts. I can’t move and every breath burns in my lungs.

No normal human could have survived a fall from such a height. Good thing I have the super-soldier serum in me.

I try to move and get up. I have to find Yelena. I have to make sure she’s safe. As soon as I even just try to move my leg though, a blinding pain shoots through my body.

I whimper, not being strong enough to do much more, and glance down.

My heart sinks at the sight of a broken metal pole sticking out of my thigh. It’s rusty and now covered in blood.

What makes matters even worse is that it’s not the only one. There’s another going right through my stomach, and another one through my chest, close to my shoulder.

The sight is dizzying and I close my eyes for a moment. I’m still fighting to get enough air into my lungs, but it’s getting harder with each breath.

This can’t be it. This can’t be how it ends.

I’ve been in similar situations. None of them were this bad though. I can feel my body trying to heal itself, but I know not even the serum will be able to get me out of this one.

A tear rolls down the side of my face and I cough again as blood begins to trickle out of the side of my mouth.

This was supposed to be an easy mission. I can’t believe everything went so wrong. I just know that I’d do all of it again if it meant Yelena was safe.

At the thought of Yelena, my eyes snap open again. Everything is blurry, but I can make out that she’s no longer on the walkways.

Panicking, I try one more time to get up, but the pain that shoots through me almost instantly is so intense, I scream and fall back down.

No… I can’t leave before telling her I love her. She has to know. I should have told her. I can’t believe I haven’t told her.

Movement to my left makes me panic even more because I figure it’s one of the Hydra agents who’s come to finish me.

I feel around for my gun, but all I can get a hand on is a loose pole. It’ll just have to do because I sure as hell won’t be going out without a fight.

When the person finally comes into sight though, I cry in relief and drop the pole.

She lowers her own weapon when she recognizes me and rushes over, her hands settling on my chest and stomach close to the poles. “Oh my God, Y/N.”

I choke back my tears and take one of her hands. “I’m sorry,” I whisper desperately. “I’m so sorry, Nat.”

Natasha’s watery eyes connect with mine and she shakes her head adamantly. “No, no, no. Hey! Don’t you dare give up on me.” She raises a hand to her ear and says, “Tony, we need an EVAC immediately. Y/N’s down in the main storage area.”

I don’t hear Tony’s response because my comms device broke when I landed. The look on Natasha’s face is all I need to know that he won’t be able to get here on time though.

She desperately clutches my hand to her chest and scoots closer, wiping the blood off my chin. “We’re going to get you out of here,” she says and I know she’s saying it to soothe herself, not me.

“Nat,” I wheeze. It’s almost impossible to breathe now and all I want to do is close my eyes, but she needs so know. “Please—“

A violent cough cuts me off and I wince when I settle back down and see tiny specks of blood on Natasha’s face.

“No, don’t talk. You have to save your strength. You have to—“

I shake my head frantically and ignore the tears that continue to spill from my eyes. “Please, Nat… Tell her—“

Another cough and this time when I settle back down, it’s as though my body finally stopped fighting. The pain has been reduced to a dull ache and my eyelids are growing heavier with each second that passes.

Natasha notices too and pushes down on my stomach next to the pipe to stop the bleeding. “No, no, no! You’re staying right here with me. Don’t you dare close your eyes. You hear me?!”

I honestly don’t care about making it out alive anymore because at this point I know it’s impossible. I do need Yelena to know how I truly feel about her though, so I resist the urge to close my eyes and tighten my weakening grip on Natasha’s hand. “Tell, Y-Yelena,” I stutter. “Promise m-me you’ll tell her…”

Natasha frowns in confusion and abandons her task of stopping the bleeding. “Tell Yelena what?” she asks desperately.

Her eyes meet mine and for a moment the confusion remains in them. Then, as if on cue, they widen and understanding dawns on her. “Yelena?” she asks with a sob and I nod with a weak smile.

“Please, Nat…” I whisper. It’s barely audible, but Nat hears.

New tears spring to her eyes and she bites her lip to suppress another sob. “What do you want me to tell her?”

My lips part, ready to spill the truth about my feelings, but in the end nothing comes out.

“What do you want me to tell her?” Natasha repeats, shaking me.

I want to reply, I just can’t do it.

There’s no more air left in my lungs and my eyelids are starting to droop. It’s peaceful and I barely register my hand going limp in Natasha’s.

“No, come on, Y/N!” she screams, but it’s muffled and in the end I no longer resist the urge to close my eyes. “No…” Nat sobs but it sounds like she’s miles away.

Then another voice calls my name and the familiarity of it makes me smile.

I love you…

________________________________________________

Found this in my drafts and decided to finish it.

Part 5 of No Matter What is in the works…

[twohearts-hs]

Always & Forever Twenty (Finale) - Marshall Mathers x Reader Series

Words: 6.9k

Pairings: Marshall Mathers x Fem!Reader Series

Synopsis: They loved each other with every fibre and being. They knew that they were meant to be together, but it seemed like every obstacle came in the way. She was twenty-one, he was forty and they knew that it would be hard. Therefore, they promised forever and always as they were meant to be together despite every turmoil that came their way.

Warnings: Swearing, Alcohol, & Angst.

|| Masterlist for Series ||

Hope you enjoy :)

Y/N parked her car in front of the cozy little bistro where she was meeting Alaina and Hailie for lunch. The morning was slow, Marshall refusing to let Y/N go but eventually she got out of the house on time. He made her breakfast and she stopped at her hotel to change. However, she was about five minutes late to meeting the girls.

Y/N took a deep breath before adjusting her sunglasses as she stepped out into the warm sunlight. The past few days had been a whirlwind of emotions, and she knew this lunch would be anything but a simple meal. Alaina and Hailie wanted her back with their dad and they would do anything for that to happen. They did see her leave the wedding with him, therefore questions will arise.

As she walked into the bistro, she spotted the two sisters already seated at the corner table. They sent a wave and Y/N smiled, waving back before walking over.

“Y/N!” Alaina greeted her with a hug. “It’s been so long.”

“Tell me about it. So long,” Hailie agreed, giving her a warm embrace as well.

Y/N sat down, and the waiter came and they ordered a round of cocktails before they go into a conversation.

“I’ve missed you both. How have you been? I have meant to reach out but-“

“Life, I get it,” Hailie said.

“I have kept up on Instagram though,” she said.

“Good, life has been good,” Hailie said before going in about her studies and graduating then talking about her new partner. Alaina talked about her relationship with Matt before they asked about New York City.

“Tell us about New York,” Alaina said, her eyes lighting with interest. “How’s the city treating you?”

Y/N smiled, her mind drifting to the bustling streets and towering skyscrapers of New York. “It’s amazing and overwhelming at the same time. I am working at the Museum of Modern Art as well as a gallery owned by a friend named Geneva. I have been doing a few shows for my art. It’s a dream come true. I have everything-“

“But dad,” they finished.

Y/N heard those words and sighed. “What do you want to know?” she said.

“Everything,” Hailie said. “Spill.”

Y/N took a sip of her cocktail, gathering her thoughts. “Well…”

“He took you back to your hotel room,” Hailie said. “What happened? If I ask dad, he will get all grumpy and states that this is none of my business and I need to stick to focusing on my own relationship,” she chuckled which Y/N joined.

“Yeah, he took me back to my hotel. We had a good discussion. Then he stayed over which was nice.”

Hailie and Alaina looked at each other and smiled.

“I went over for dinner yesterday which was nice. I stayed over…again. Basically, we have agreed to work through things. It’s been emotional, but we both want to give it another try,” Y/N admitted.

“Thank god,” Hailie said. “I knew there was something going on at the wedding.”

“Dad looked different, happier when he saw you and you two talked,” Alaina said.

Hailie agreed. “Yeah, we’ve never seen him like that in a long time. He missed you, Y/N.”

Y/N felt a pang of guilt mixed with warmth. “I’ve missed him too. It’s just complicated, you know. We’ve both changed a lot and have gone through different relationships-“

“Dad has dated no one since you. Have you dated since dad?” Hailie asked.

“I had a partner. Three years. We broke up in January. Your dad knows about her,” Y/N admitted. “We had long discussions.”

“Her?” Hailie said.

Y/N nodded. “Let’s not talk about it. Your dad is not a fan of talking about it too. However, we have been honest with each other, learning the five years without each other. We are different people, but we are learning one another again.”

“Well, we’re glad you’re back,” Alaina said, reaching to squeeze Y/N’s hand. “But we need more details. How did it happen? What did you talk about?”

Y/N sighed, knowing they would not let her off easy. “We’ve had a lot of honest conversations about our past, our mistakes, and what we want for the future. It’s not going to be easy, but we’re both willing to try.”

Hailie leaned forward, her eyes narrowing playfully. “Come on, Y/N. Give us something juicy. Did you guys…you know, get together in other ways?” she hinted.

Y/N chuckled and blushed. “Not yet. I wanted to but we’re taking it slow. We want to make sure we’re both ready and that this what we really want.”

The sisters seemed satisfied for the moment, but Y/N could see the wheels turning in their heads.

“You did not hear all of this from me. If Marshall finds out I am giving you information about our relationship, I will get a talk.”

They chuckled. “Promise. Secret is ours,” Alaina said. “However, you know,” her tone more serious, “Dad was really lonely after you left. He put on a brave face, but we all could see it. He was really heartbroken and choosing those bracelets…he would begin in December looking at them, pondering for months on what to buy, what would the note say…should he reach out? You promised a two-year break and it’s been five.”

Hailie nodded in agreement. “He threw himself into work and tried to be strong for us, but we knew he was hurting. He’d talk about you sometimes, wondering if you were happy or if you’d come back ever.”

Y/N felt a lump in her throat. “I never wanted to hurt him. I just needed to find myself, establish myself and to figure out what I wanted. I was twenty-one when I got with him. I was younger than you.”

“I met the love of my life and I am willing to do anything for them,” Alaina said.

Hailie agreed. “I would do anything for Evan.”

Y/N sighed. “I never wanted to hurt him. I do love him. I still do. I want us to be together and to have a future and we talked about that. However, I just came from a relationship where we talked about marriage and picking out a sperm donor. Your dad will never marry again, and he does not want any more children.” They stayed quiet unsure what to say. “However, I am willing to sacrifice that for him,” Y/N announced. “We are going to make it work. We are going to do long distance. We are…dating,” she whispered. “Every relationship is different. The thing about Marshall and I is we are in different life stages which makes it that much harder.”

They nodded. “I did not think about that,” Hailie admitted. Alaina agreed. “We just want dad to be happy.”

“I hope I can make him happy. It’s going to be a challenge as I will be in New York. It’s a two-hour flight. Your dad is going to come out in a few weeks for my show. I am excited as I can show him my city.”

“Just remember he is Eminem,” Alaina said. “Paparazzi especially in New York…once they know he is there. It’ll be a frenzy.”

“Then I am fine with us just hanging out in my apartment and doing nothing. Now, catch me up on the last five years.”

They grinned and began to chat more.

-

Y/N was exhausted as she got into her hotel room that evening. She had a lunch with the girls which went on forever, then she had her meeting with the art gallery and now she finally laid on her bed. She was still clothed in her day clothes, but she was so tired. Y/N flies at one tomorrow and Marshall wanted to come over tonight, but Y/N admitted how tired she was therefore, he would come for breakfast in the morning.

However, when she finally got herself to shower and crawl into bed, Marshall texted her.

10:23 p.m.

From Marshall <3: I don’t like sleeping without you.

To Marshall <3: I need to get my monies worth at the hotel.

From Marshall <3: Ok. I’ll be there for eight tomorrow.

There was a knock on the door at exactly at eight in the morning. Y/N ran to the door, a necklace in her hand as she opened it. Marshall stood there dressed down but his chain on display, sending her a smile.

“Hey,” she said. “Can you help me with this? I have long nails, so it does not work,” she told him handing him the necklace.

“Sure,” he said as she turned around, letting the necklace hit her chest as he clasped it. “There. Pretty,” he whispered, kissing her cheek. Y/N turned around smiling up to him as he pressed a kiss to her lips. “Hi, beautiful,” he hummed. “How was the lunch yesterday?”

Y/N chuckled. “Your daughters are very nosey. They wanted to know everything about us,” she stated as she walked around grabbing the menu for the hotel.

“What did you share?”

“The truth,” she stated as she looked at the menu before handing it to him.

“Which is?”

“That we are taking it slow and seeing where the relationship goes,” Y/N said as she sat on the bed. “What do you want to eat?”

“Let me look,” he said as he looked at the menu.

They fell into a conversation as they ordered their food and ate together. It was a good hour and a half of conversation before Y/N announced she had to get to the airport. They bid their farewells and shared a passionate kiss before Marshall helped carry her bags.

He put them into her rental car before standing in front of her. He watched as she placed her handbag in the front and walked over.

“I will see you soon,” he stated, leaning and kissing her. Marshall held her hip as he pulled away, tucking her hair. “I booked my flights last night. I will send you the information. I will do a few work things in New York, but mainly I will be there to see you.”

Y/N smiled, kissing his lips again. “Ok, I will see you then.”

He nodded, dropping his hand from her hip. “Bye, Y/N. It was a good few days. Thank you.”

She smiled, kissing his cheek before waving and getting into her car. Marshall watched as she left the hotel parking lot before making her way to the airport. All he did was smile…she was back. Back in his life.

-

Y/N did not own a car. Why would one own a car when they live in New York City? She only took transit or walked. Therefore, when the few weeks went by and it was time for Marshall to visit New York, she told him she could not pick him up as she had no car. He was fine with that and instead took a cab from the airport to her apartment in Manhattan.

Y/N spent the day prior cleaning her apartment and making sure it looked perfect. Therefore, when she got the text that he arrived. She grinned so widely. Y/N walked out of her apartment going down the steps to see Marshall getting out of the cab with his bag.

“Hey, handsome,” she mused standing on the staircase up to her apartment. He looked up and saw her and he smiled instantly. “Let’s get inside.”

Marshall followed, taking his duffle bag and throwing it over his shoulder. He wore jeans and a tee with his chain and a hat as they entered her place. It was beautiful, modern but rustic with brick walls and naked wood panels. Marshall placed his bag down at the door and took his hood and sunglasses off.

Y/N wore jeans and a black tank with some heeled boots. Her hair was slicked back into a low bun with gold hoop earrings. However, when he looked over her apartment all he could see was art.

Several easels with paintings on them, trolleys with paints and materials sat in the corner. It was artistic, art deco like and so Y/N which brought a smile to his face.

“Come here,” he said walking up to her and grabbing her hips, pulling her into a hug.  Y/N face curled into his neck as she breathed in his cologne. She popped her head as he leaned in and pressing a kiss to it. “Good to see you.”

Y/N pulled away and grabbed his cheeks, kissing his lips again. “Good to see you, M. Welcome to my flat,” she said. “Welcome to the Big Apple.”

He smiled. “Thank you,” he whispered, kissing her lips again with a little more passion.

“Let me show you around,” Y/N said, her hand slipping into Marshall’s as she led him through the apartment.

They wandered through the cozy living room with its eclectic mix of modern furniture and antique pieces, past the kitchen with its gleaming countertops and finally her art studio. Marshall was particularly drawn to this space, where canvas lined the walls and a faint smell of turpentine lingered in the air.

“This is amazing,” he said, taking in the vibrant colours and bold strokes of her latest work. “You’ve really made a name of yourself.”

Y/N blushed, her fingers tracing the edge of a nearby canvas. “It’s been a lot of hard work, but I love it. It’s my passion.”

Marshall turned to her, his eyes softening. “I’m proud of you.”

She smiled, feeling a warmth spread through her chest. “Thanks, M. It means a lot to hear you say that.”

As Marshall continued to look around the room, he stopped in front of an easel covered by a cloth. His curiosity piqued, he glanced at Y/N for permission. She nodded, a small smile playing on her lips.

He carefully pulled the cloth away, revealing a large, striking painting. It was a portrait of himself, capturing in a moment of deep contemplation. The detail was exquisite, every line and shadow meticulously painted. His blue eyes seemed to look right him, full of emotion and intensity.

Marshall was in awe, speechless for a moment. “Y/N…this is incredible. I didn’t know you painted me and for it to be like this. I look,” he rose a brow, “just amazing.”

Y/N stepped closer, her eyes on the painting. “I did it a few months after we broke up. It was my way of coping, of keeping you part of you with me. The day I could not paint you, I knew that I would get over us and it never came. I painted or drew you a lot. I could not sell them, with the details of tattoos and that mesmerizing face, people would know it was Eminem.”

Marshall turned to her, his heart swelling with emotion. “I don’t know what to say. This is amazing. I had no idea you felt this way.”  

“I was also hurt with us ending. It was a hard time,” Y/N admitted, her voice soft. “Painting helped me through it. And having you back now, seeing you in my life again, it’s like coming full circle.”

Marshall pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly. “I’m glad we are together again."

"Me too.”

Y/N wandered to the kitchen, putting a pot of coffee on before bringing his bag to her bedroom. Marshall smiled as she placed it on the bed and came out. She wanted to sleep with him, wake up next to him and just be with him.

“Just milk, right?” she said as she handed his coffee to him. He nodded. She remembered how he took his coffee.

Y/N walked to the couch, sipping on her coffee as Marshall’s eyes wandered around YN’s apartment, taking in the details he had not noticed earlier. He walked around the living room, seeing the shelves and television. However, his gaze fell upon a framed photo on a nearby bookshelf. Curious, he stood and walked over to get a closer look.

In the photo there was Y/N dressed up with sparkles and rainbow eyeshadow with a woman smiling up at her holding a flag. They looked happy, carefree. However, the woman who looked at Y/N had this look in her eyes. She loved Y/N. Marshall felt a tinge of jealousy twist in his gut.

“Aemma?” he asked, trying to keep his tone neutral as he picked up the frame to show it to Y/N.

“Yes. That was the pride parade last year,” Y/N said.          

Aemma who was taller than Y/N was beautiful. She had a short mullet and a broad smile. Her eyes were green, and she looked at Y/N as if she was the one.

“She looked at you with this love in her eyes,” he stated. “Like you’re the one for her.”

Y/N sighed. “I told you. We were in love.”

“Why do you still have this?”

“Why do I still have the painting of you?” she said. “I collect things I love. I have had that painting for five years.”

“It was covered in your studio. This is sitting in your living room just screaming that you love her and that you’re gay.”

Y/N took a deep breath, setting her coffee cup down. “Marshall, I told you about Aemma because I wanted us to be honest with each other. Yes, I loved her, and she was a significant part of my life. But that relationship is over. This photo is a memory of a time I was happy. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

Marshall’s eyes softened, though the jealous still lingered. “I get that. I do. It’s just…hard to see someone else looking at you like that.”

Y/N stood up, walking over to him. She gently took the frame from his hands and set it back on the shelf. “It’s in the past, M. I chose to keep it because it was a part of my journey, just like you are. But, look we are here now. That is what matters. We’re here together, trying to rebuild what we had.”

Marshall nodded, his tension easing as he pulled her into a hug. “I don’t mean to make it a big deal. I just…we are trying us again and I know you have a past and I do to.”

“It’s ok. I am here with you now. Let’s focus on that.”

Marshall pulled away and began walking throughout the apartment. Every corner seemed to tell a story, and as he moved though the space, he felt a sense of connection to Y/N’s life. It was a reminder of the woman he fell in love with and the journey she’d been on. He stopped in front of a wall adorned with frame photographs. Mostly travel pictures and a few of people. There were photos, paintings and all types of memorabilia. His eyes scanned the collection, lingering on each piece. Suddenly, something familiar caught his eye. There, hanging among other frames, was the vinyl he signed all those years ago. The Eminem Show with his autograph hung.

Marshall stepped closer, a smile spreading over his features.

“To Y/N, with all my love. Marshall.”

He remembered the day he signed it. They were friends, jumping through hoops to not admit their feelings. It was her mother’s record that she stole, and it looked like it hadn’t changed besides the love from all the years ago.

Y/N saw him look at it. Then his eyes looked over to the next framed photograph, it was them at Y/N’s first art show and another one of them together. She had pictures of him in her apartment…the apartment she shared with her ex-girlfriend. Y/N still had pictures of them hanging.

“You remember that?” she said coming up to stand in front of the wall.

“We were just friends when I signed that,” he whispered, looking over. “I didn’t think you would frame it.”

“Told you, I keep things that I love. It’s a reminder of how we started. Even with everything that’s happened, those memories are still important to me.”

“You had these pictures hung for five years and you still never reached out.”

Y/N sighed. “That’s a lie. I emailed you to thank you for the birthday presents.”

“That does not count. You walk past this wall few times a day and you still never talked to me.”

“I look at that wall every day and think about how we will be together. Look at us now.”

He nodded. “You thought about me every day?”

“Every single day. There was not a day that goes by that don’t think about you. You’ve always been a part of my life, Marshall. That’s never changed even when we were apart.”

He leaned in and kissed her softly, feeling a surge of gratitude for the second chance they were giving each other. “Thank you for that.”

“Want to go for a walk around the neighbourhood? Get some lunch?”

“Sure,” he said.

-

They spent the day in domestic bliss. They made dinner together, ate together, showered together and went to bed together…domestic bliss. They were almost back to their old selves. Sharing laughs and stories as they fell back in love with one another.

The following day they spent hanging out before getting ready for the art event. Y/N was wearing a two-piece suit that was risqué but elegant at the same time. It was black with dress pants that were flowy with a vest exposing her arms. Her hair was pulled in low bun as she applied heavier eye makeup and a chain necklace that was a gift from Marshall from years ago.

He commented on and she smiled telling him it was one her favourite pieces to wear. She looked amazing with her heels and elegance. She was masculine, but feminine at the same time.

Marshall wore black pants, a tee with a leather jacket and chain. He was dressed down compared to her but that Marshall. He wore what he wanted when he wanted.

Y/N came out of the bathroom, seeing him sitting on the couch. He had a Red Bull in his hands as his knee bounced.

“Wow,” he said with a breath. “When did you trade in dresses for a suit?” he chuckled.

"When I became a feminist,” she stated, “twenty-six years ago. It’s nice. I hate wearing dresses to these events as you either look too elegant or too slutty. Therefore, I pretend I am a man, so no one cares what I dress in.” He chuckled as she grabbed her clutch off the counter.

“You ready?” he asked, his voice low.

Y/N nodded, a smile spreading across her face. “Yeah, let’s go.”

They arrived at the gallery, the place buzzing with energy and excitement. The red carpet was rolled, and photographers were already snapping pictures of the arriving guests. As soon as Y/N and Marshall stepped out of the car, the flashes intensified.

It could be due to Eminem showing up to an art gallery exhibition party or the fact that Y/N was a big name is the art word these days. However, the photographers were having a field day.

“Just ignore them. Let’s go,” Marshall whispered in her ear trying to get them to walk down the carpet to the entrance, but Y/N stood still.

“They are here for me, Marshall. Not you.”

Right…it hit him. She was a celebrity in the art world. He wrapped his arm around her waist, posing together as they smiled for the cameras. He was not a fan of the scene but did it for her. Eventually, they got into the gallery.

The atmosphere was even more electrifying. Guests mingled, admiring the art that adorned the walls. Y/N’s pieces were prominently displayed, and she felt a surge of pride seeing her work appreciated by so many.

“Y/N!” she heard her name, and she turned around, spotting Geneva. She wore a beautiful Vivienne Westwood dress. Her long silver hair was down, and she wandered over to Y/N. Geneva was tall with an air of elegance and authority. She hugged Y/N warmly and turned to Marshall.

“You must be Marshall,” she beamed. “Y/N has said so much about you.”

Marshall shook her hand. “We met about five years ago-“

“Yes, the one who would not let me buy her art,” Geneva said.

Marshall chuckled. “Yeah, anyway Y/N has been so successful, and I am so proud,” he said looking down to his girl.

“Yes, she is an incredible artist. We have been planning this event for weeks and Y/N has been so excited especially with you visiting,” she said.

Y/N chuckled, and they began to chat about the art around them. Marshall stayed quiet, knowing nothing about art as he glanced around. Y/N and Geneva continued to chat.

“Look at this sexy motherfucker,” a voice said from their left. They turned their heads and Marshall instantly recognised the woman walking up. Mullet, green eyes and she was tall and muscular…she was masculine in her own two-toned suits that was less sexy than Y/N’s and definitely was titled as man’s suit. However, as Aemma wore it, she looked amazing.

Her voice was low and British, sultry and rustic but beautiful. She grinned at Y/N and walked past Marshall, hugging his girl.

Y/N took a step from Marshall, eloping the female in a hug.

“How are you doing, love?” she whispered in her ear pulling away, squeezing her hand.

“Good! I am good,” Y/N said. “How are you?”

“Good. Look at all this art. So beautiful,” she said as she looked around.

Marshall looked at Y/N, unsure what to do and Y/N looked at him. “Aemma, this is Marshall. Marshall, Aemma,” she introduced.

Aemma put her hand out and Marshall took it. “The famous Eminem,” she stated. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise,” he said lowly. However, Aemma looked back at Y/N and smiled.

“Gosh, look at this suit. Sexy, sexy, sexy. I just want to eat you up,” she hummed with a chuckle.

Y/N rolled her eyes. “You’re a doll, thank you. How’s London?”

“Busy, but good. I am writing away about the celebrities and the fashion. Hot gossip is all I know these days. It’s different from the political side and news side. It’s a lot more fun. Freeing too, ya know. Like, I can have my opinions and be free with my work.”

Y/N nodded, smiling. “Glad to hear. I know you worried about the drama and all.”

“It’s not too bad. British pop culture is less dramatic than American.”

“You write about celebrities?” he asked, breaking his silence.

“Yes, you must hate me,” she joked. “However, this world loves drama.”

Marshall awkwardly laughed and nodded his head. He did indeed hate journalists and now he hated Aemma just a little more.

“Funny,” Y/N said, and Marshall shoved his hands into his pocket. “I hate drama.”

“Well, that makes you unusual which I love,” Aemma said as she took two flutes of champagne off a tray a waiter had and handed one to Y/N.

Y/N accepted the champagne flute with a smile, her eyes briefly meeting Marshall’s before she turned back to Aemma. “Thanks, Aemma.”

Aemma raised her glass. “To your amazing exhibit and all the success that’s coming your way.”

“To the future,” Y/N echoed, clinking her glass with Aemma’s. She then turned to Marshall, who was watching the interaction with a guarded expression. “You want something to drink, M?”

“Sure,” Marshall said. “I’ll go get something.”

Marshall walked off but kept glancing back to see Aemma and Y/N standing together. Aemma watched him leave, then turned to Y/N with a wistful smile. “He’s really protective of you, isn’t he?” she commented.

Y/N nodded, a soft sigh escaping her lips. “Yeah, he is. He’s been through a lot, and I think it makes him more guarded.”

Aemma’s eye softened as she looked at Y/N. “I can see that. He really loves you though.”

Y/N smiled, a hint of sadness in her eyes. “I know. I love him too.”

Aemma took a step closer, her voice gentle as she leaned into her ear. “I miss you, you know. We had something special.”

Y/N looked down, feeling a pang of guilt. “I miss you too, Aemma. You were a big part of my life.”

Aemma reached out, her hand brushing against Y/N’s arm. “It’s hard seeing you with him. But I can’t deny that he looks at you like you’re the only person in the world.”

Y/N’s eyes met Aemma’s, and she could see the genuine emotion in her eyes. “Aemma, I never wanted to hurt you. Our time together meant so much to me.”

Aemma smiled sadly, her fingers tracing a pattern on Y/N’s sleeve. “I know. And I don’t regret any of it. But seeing you with Marshall, I can tell me truly loveS you. It’s written all over his face.”

Y/N swallowed hard, her voice barely above a whisper. “It’s been difficult, trying to balance everything. I care about both of you.”

Aemma nodded, understanding in her eyes. “I get it. And I want you to be happy, Y/N. Even if it means being with him. I want the best for you.”

Y/N felt tears prick at the corner of her eyes. “Thank you, Aemma. That means a lot.”

Aemma took a deep breath, forcing a smile. “Just promise me one thing.”

“What’s that?” Y/N asked, her voice trembling.

“Promise me you’ll take care of yourself,” Aemma said, her voice sincere. “And that you’ll let yourself be happy.”

Y/N nodded, a tear slipping down her cheek. “I promise.” Aemma wiped the tear.

“Don’t cry. You’re too pretty to cry.” Y/N smiled give Aemma a warm hug before pulling away. She rubbed her back before pressing a kiss to Y/N’s cheek. “I will always love you in some way.”

Y/N nodded. “Likewise.”

They stood in silence for a moment, the weight of their shared history hanging in the air. Aemma finally stepped back, giving Y/N a small, sad smile. “I should go mingle. It’s your big night, after all.”

Marshall watched the whole interaction, and he could tell that Aemma still loved Y/N a lot. However, he grabbed his drink from the bartender before turning back to see Y/N in front of him.

“Hey,” he hummed, and Y/N wrapped her arms around him. “Everything ok?”

“Just had a moment with Aemma, but its all good. She just means a lot to me as a friend and a person I shared a life with.”

He nodded. “You good then?”

Y/N looked up at him, her eyes filled with determination. “I am. I love you, Marshall. I really do and I am here for you always.”

Marshall smiled, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I love you too, Y/N. Its all good. Let’s enjoy the rest of the night.”

-

Aemma was affectionate. Absolutely, over the top affectionate to Y/N and as the night went on Marshall’s patience was wearing thin. She did not leave her alone and she would find any excuse to touch Y/N. Marshall was affectionate and he loved Y/N, but he would never display that level of PDA in front of people. Sure, he would hold her hand and lean in for a kiss on the cheek but Aemma…Y/N would tell a joke and she would grip onto Y/N’s arm, or she would lean super close, brushing her lips to Y/N’s ear.

Marshall had to trust Y/N. However, he was getting angry. Y/N warned him that Aemma was a flirt. She had the looks and the confidence, and she had a history with Y/N. They were once friends just like Marshall and her.

However, as the night continued, Marshall’s patience wore thin. He could feel his temper rising with each passing minute. Aemma was there…constantly, giving no time to Y/N and Marshall. She was always around Y/N.

He leaned into Y/N. “I am going outside for a breather,” he said, and she nodded.

“Everything ok?”

“Just overwhelmed.”

Y/N nodded as he walked away. Aemma watched Marshall leave and turned to Y/N.

“You can’t keep touching me like that, Aemma,” Y/N stated as she looked at her old friend. “As much as I love it, Marshall gets weird with that especially now that we are back together. He is insecure about us. Always have.”

Aemma nodded, taking a step away from Y/N. “I did not realise. However, is that healthy?”

“I don’t know if anything about Marshall and I is healthy, but I want us to work.”

Aemma sighed. “You two were so toxic though-“

“We aren’t anymore. We went through trauma and needed each other more than anything-“

“He loves you more than you love him.”

“Aemma,” Y/N sighed. “I love him.”

“I will lay off the touching,” she said with a smile. “Which is going to be weird.”

“I know but do it not for him but for me.”

“Anything for you,” she hummed, winking at her.

Marshall came back in walking to Y/N and wrapping an arm around her waist and she looked up. “I told Aemma to stop touching me,” she told him. “I know its bothering you.”

He nodded. “Thank you.”

-

The night was a success and Y/N was a little tipsy but she was fine as they got home. Marshall opened the door as Y/N came in, taking her heels off and rolling her head back to crack her back.

“Heels really fuck your back up,” she stated as she walked to the kitchen to grab a drink of water.

“I don’t know how you wear those,” Marshall said as he followed her and leaned against her counter. “Aemma,” he began, “was affectionate,” he decided on a word.

Y/N sighed. “I know. Are you ok?”

Marshall nodded then sighed. “She was really close. Like she,” he sighed, “fuck, Y/N it was clear she is still in love with you.”

“Marshall,” she tried.

“I’m not ok,” he finally came to the conclusion. “How could I be? Watching her all over you like that…it’s…it’s too much.”

“What do you want me to do?” Y/N whispered. “She is not leaving my life.”

“Move to Detroit. Put us first. Move in with me. Let us have a life. Fuck,” he said. “I want us to happen. I want us to be serious. If this fucking chick is here, visiting you, touching you-“

“So, it is about Aemma?”

“Why can’t we have a happy ever after? I want someone to grow old with and I am fucking old already. Do I need to wait another five years? It just…I looked at you and Aemma and she was just there and you allowed her-“

“Marshall, she is part of my life.”

"And I want to be part of your life and I want you part of mine.”

“I am,” she said leaning closer to him. “Marshall, you can’t get all territorial of me. You need to trust me.”

“I just want you in Detroit. Call me selfish, but I can’t do this flying constantly. Will you ever move to Detroit?”

“Yes.”

“When?” he begged. “Another five years? Ten? When you’re ready to retire…I’ll be dead.”

“Marshall,” she said pinching her nose. Taking a deep breath she looked up. “I don’t want to sacrifice my career on something that I don’t know will last. We weren’t even together for a year.”

“Because you chose Columbia. You are choosing this job. You are choosing this city, this apartment, this life. Chose me for once as I am sick of being on the bottom of your list.” He then shrugged. “Do you even fucking love me? Because this is not love.”

Y/N felt a wave of pain and frustration wash over her. How could he say something like that? She placed her glass of water down on the counter and took a step closer to Marshall, looking him straight in the eyes.

“Marshall, I do love you. More than you know. But asking me to give up everything I’ve worked for is not fair. My career, my dreams – they’re a part of me…of who I am. I can’t just throw them away.”

Marshall shook his head, clearly still upset. “So, what am I then? Just an option?”

Y/N was getting exhausted by all of this. She rolled her head back and took a loud and obnoxious big breath before whispering, “I agreed to get back together if we didn’t fight like we used to, that we would not be toxic and that we would be ok with long distance.”

Marshall’s expression softened, but the tension in his eyes remained. “I know, I know,” he quietly said. “But it’s so fucking hard, Y/N. Seeing Aemma with you tonight just brought all my insecurities to the surface. I don’t want to fight, I just…I want us to work.”

“And we will. We need to trust each other, and we have to work through this together. Long distance is tough, but it’s not impossible.” She took another step, closing the distance between them. She placed her hand on his chest, feeling the beat of his heart beneath her fingers. She looked up. “I love you.”

“I want us to build a life and not just visit you in another city.”

“I understand that,” Y/N softly said. “I want that too, someday. But, right now this is where I need to be. For my career, for my dreams. It does not mean I love you any less.”

He sighed, rolling his head back. “I need you. Home. With me. In Detroit,” he said it very bluntly.

Y/N saw just how much he’s hurting. She did have Daniel with the job opportunity. She could move to Detroit. She could but that could end everything with Geneva and the gallery. She was well established in New York and if she moved to Detroit, her income could be heavily impacted. There was a inner debtate.

Y/N patted his chest a few times and cleared her throat. “Marshall,” she tried.

“Just tell me. New York first.”

“I think you’re being dramatic and you’re being very controlling. You’re set on your own ways. You’re putting your happiness first. However, I will contact Daniel and see what the opportunity in Detroit would be like. I don’t even know if he would hire me.”

What did she want? New York City…her life, her reputation, her career…or Marshall? A life with him. Y/N had no idea what to pick. However, she pinched her nose and whispered, “I am going to take a shower.”

Marshall watched as she walked away. How could he take her words? She was right…he was being selfish, he was putting his needs, wants, desires and happiness first. However, he could not move to New York City. He could not leave Detroit.

“Why do we fight, Y/N?” he said after a while. “Why doesn’t the universe allow us to just be happy?” he said moments later. “Why can’t we have happiness.”

“I don’t know, Marshall,” she whispered turning around in the apartment. “All I know is that I love you. I want you. I need you. I desire us. I adore us. I want us to be end game.” Then Y/N turned to look at him and he stood a metre apart and she sighed. “I will move to Detroit. I will rent this apartment out until I can sell it. I won’t move in, but I will live close. I will chase the job at that gallery with Daniel the owner. I will put us first because you’re you and I am me and we are meant to be together,” Y/N admitted.

“I can’t give you marriage or babies,” he stated. “However, I promise I will love you until I take my last breath. Then I will find you in our next lifetime and I hope it will be easier. In that lifetime, I will meet you, I will fall in love with you, I will marry you and give you as many children as you want, and we will grow old together and be buried next to each other. However, in this lifetime we are just two people trying their best to love and I don’t know why we deserve that because we are good people.”

Y/N ran, she ran across the room and wrapped her arms around his neck before her hands grasped his cheeks, bringing his lips to hers. Marshall allowed it, leaning down and giving all his will power and love to her as their kiss became passionate, needy and wanting.     He walked backwards, pushing her as they walked to her bedroom. Their hands moved effortlessly through one another, ridding clothes and stepping out of them leaving them naked in front of each other. Y/N pulled away as the back of her legs touched the end of her bed. They stared at one another with such love, adoration and devotion. She cupped his cheek, looking up at him through her lashes. Her eyes glimmered with hope and need as she pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Forever?” she whispered.

“Forever and always,” he agreed. Then she kissed him with everything she had.            

Till death do them part.

-

Yay! The series is over. Hope you all enjoyed it. I had so much fun writing it. I am thinking of doing a epilogue, but we shall see.

Additionally, I would like to say that I am opening my inbox to requests as I would love to write more Marshall Mathers/Eminem fanfiction. Let me know your thoughts!

Thanks!

Much love,

Ava <3

[oldiesstationlover11607]

Hey! I loved your work! Can you write something with Gerard on the reunion tour and a reader who is a singer and is opening for the tour? (I'm sorry if it's confusing, English is not my first language)

HI! Thank you so much for liking my writing. I hope you like this one! let me know if you're looking for something different though.

Opener - Reunion!Gerard Way x GN!Reader

Pairing: Gerard x GN!Reader

Warnings: None!

Word Count: 1,456

Summary: You open for MCR on the reunion tour

My Chemical Romance. Reunion Tour. With Y/N. Those were the words displayed on the large signs in front of the venue. We had been on tour for a few weeks then, but the nerves never subsided. I pulled out my entry pass and walked through the backstage halls towards my dressing room. My soundcheck wasn’t for another hour, but I thought I’d go and scout out the stage area. I grabbed a Coke from the mini fridge and found my way to the stage entrance. Music was playing, but I was sure that was just the crew checking the speakers. Oh, how I was wrong. The whole crew was setting up instruments, and Mikey, Ray, and Frank were soundchecking their instruments.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” I stuttered, moving out of the way. Being on tour with My Chem had been a dream come true, but four weeks into the tour and little interaction with anyone in the band felt isolating, to say the least–especially since I was a solo artist.

“Wait!” I heard a voice shout, and I turned around to see someone standing up at the very back of the venue. I squinted through the lights and saw they were waving me over. Trying to avoid tripping over the cables lining the stage, I walked over to the figure. He was shorter than I expected him to be, his hair was long and brown, and he was dressed in a twilight t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and a green flannel. A twilight shirt. This 45-year-old man was wearing a twilight shirt. I almost had to restrain myself from laughing.

“Y/N, I’ve been trying to find a good time to talk to you, you know,” he smirked. Gerard Way was smirking at me.

“Wait really?” I questioned, shocked that the frontman of one of my favorite bands was wanting to talk to me.

“Yeah. I just wanted to say I’m really glad we’ve got you on tour with us. I actually chose you to open. Been a fan for a while.” I stayed silent, entirely shocked that he was saying anything to me at all–let alone that he liked my music.

“Are you okay? You look like you need something to drink or you’re going to pass out,” Gerard placed a hand on my shoulder and bent down to look in my eyes. I nodded quickly, starting to feel a little dizzy.

“Yeah, I think I need some water,” I mumbled.

“Mikey! Can you pass me my water?” he shouted, Mikey throwing a plastic water bottle halfway across the venue. Gerard ran to pick it up, opened it, and passed it to me. I took a drink and a few deep breaths.

“I think I’m okay now, thank you,” I smiled.

“Good. Now I think it might be time for you to do a soundcheck. It looks like the others are done.” He got up from his seat and walked back towards the stage as I stumbled behind him. “Oh, and after the show, come find me. I want to show you something,” he beamed, slipping behind the curtain and disappearing backstage.

Soundcheck went well, and I had gone through all of the songs for the night. I was playing for about two hours, so I headed backstage to relax, call some of my friends, and respond to any emails or social media stuff I needed to. This was when I opened up my Instagram and found the post, a photo of me from behind, sound checking next to a sketch of the same thing, Gerard’s name signed at the bottom. The caption, wonderfully put: Our opener is both fantastic and beautiful - see them tonight and every night of tour! They’re going to do amazing things with their art and I can’t wait to see where it takes them. Especially with me as their number 1 fan - G

Sorry, Gerard Way called me beautiful. This wasn’t happening. Notifications were popping up on every social platform, we were trending on Twitter, fan accounts on Instagram were posting, and my text messages were blowing up. But there was no time to go and talk to Gerard or anyone else because the stage manager was rushing me to the stage, shouting, “Ten minutes till show time!” over and over again. The gig went great; everything went well, and the fans seemed to react well to my performance. After I’d finished and had a shower, I put on some sweatpants and a hoodie to watch Gerard and the others play on the television screen in my dressing room. The group ended with sleep and came backstage for a quick break before the encore. I ran out to see Gerard, who was very clearly out of breath and trying desperately to catch it.

“We need to talk when you’re done,” I looked at him with crossed arms. He nodded, looking slightly terrified that I was mad at him. It definitely didn’t help that Frank wouldn’t shut up teasing him as I walked away. They all went back on stage to play Helena and Vampires. The sound of the crowd screaming could be heard on the other side of the venue, even with closed doors. I could hear the band finishing up as each one of them ran down the hallway to their dressing room, except one. I heard a loud knock sound from outside my room. It was him; it had to be him. Opening the door, I knew I was right. He stood there panting and looking like a sweaty mess.

“Hi,” he breathed, running a hand through his sweaty hair. I opened the door further to let him in, and he immediately collapsed onto the couch.

“You guys had a good show,” I muttered, trying to avoid the topic of his Instagram post.

“Thanks, it felt good. But that’s not why I’m here, Y/N,” he sat up, having finally caught his breath.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“I didn’t mean to cause an issue if you’re upset about the post. I just–I’m so fascinated with you… and your music. And god,” he gushed, “you’re so beautiful.” A smile grew on my face.

“You’re pretty cool too, Gerard.” I moved to sit next to him, and he scooted closer to me. I looked into his green eyes, desperately trying to read his mind. Was I insane, or did he feel something for me too? His hand moved up to cup my face, and I closed my eyes in response.

“Let’s both just breathe before we do anything we regret, okay?” I nodded, hoping he was going to kiss me. I felt the air enter my lungs and exit slowly before opening my eyes again. I felt a hand grip the back of my neck before my lips met his. They were rough, clearly desperate to feel something. I thought back to the teenager who had posters of My Chemical Romance on their bedroom walls and the reaction they would have if they knew what we were doing right then. The kid whose favorite song was Sleep, whose favorite music video was I’m Not Okay, who wished to be the very man before them. I was lucky, lucky that Gerard Way was sitting there showing me that every moment of disappointment it took to get here was worth it. I breathed through my nose, resting my arms around his shoulders and smiling into the kiss before it broke.

“I’m sorry, I had to,” Gerard rested his forehead against mine.

“It’s okay, Gee, I wanted it,” I ran my fingers through his hair, curls starting to form from the heat.

“Okay, you two, get a fucking room,” Frank laughed from the doorframe.

“We’re in a room!” I shouted, smiling brightly.

“Get another room!” Mikey shouted, walking past us. Finally being left alone, we moved into each other’s arms, finally cooling off from performing.

“We should probably figure out what we’re gonna do now that the guys know,” Gerard turned to me.

“Want to go get coffee?” I asked.

“See, this is why I like you!” he beamed, standing up and grabbing his car keys.

//

Feedback is appreciated! Please request on my page if you have a story idea. I write for lots of different fandoms so request anything and I'll write it!

[strniohoeee]

i neeeeeeddd a part two to confidential 🥺🥺 maybe where matt gets in contact with reader to give her tickets to fly her out to the next show and she's his partner in the show. they win and he fucks her good after the show and finally kisses her. he asks her out on a date and shit and it's just so cute and rough and smutty.

Confidential Pt. 2

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Matt reaches out to Y/N after almost a year of not seeing each other. He purchases her tour tickets, and well brings her backstage 🤭

Warnings⚠️: This is Smut. There’s some spit and some hair pulling, and uhhh that’s it. It’s just SMUTTY SMUT SMUT🤞🏽

Song for the imagine: Confident- Justin Bieber and Chance the Rapper

⚠️This is an 18+ imagine, so minors do not interact, or do??⚠️

There’s absolutely no way this is real….I have to be dreaming…..is the Matt Sturniolo DMing me on Instagram right now??

I rub my eyes and make sure this is actually him and not some fake account fucking with me.

-Hey Y/N….cant believe it’s been almost year since I last seen you

-Hey Matt….uh yeah it’s crazy. I seen you guys are about to go on tour again

-We are! I uh actually got you pre show small talk, photo op and backstage passes and tickets to fly out to our first show

-YOURE LYING

-never! And you will be my partner this time….I don’t make the rules

-OMFG WHAT THIS IS INSANE YES YES IM THERE

-Good!

That was about three weeks ago, and right now I was in LA getting ready for their first show that Matt paid for…..this is not real life AT ALL.

Pre show meet and greet started at 3:30, so I got there at around 1:30, and was just waiting around honestly so nervous to see Matt again

By the time I was called it was 4:30. I met Chris and Nick first, and immediately got so nervous meeting Matt

“Hiiii” I said giving him a hug

“Hello again! How have you been gorgeous” he said as he signed a poster for me

“I’ve been very good actually” I said

“That’s good. Can’t wait to see you backstage tonight” he said winking

“Oh…yeah I’m so excited too. We’ve been reunited” I said laughing

“God I miss your pretty face” he said smiling at me causing me to blush

“Shhh” I said rolling my eyes

“And the dress…..whew that dress looks so hot on you” he said looking me up and down

“Thanks matt” I said giving him one last hug

We did the photo op and now it was time to wait for the show to start, so like last time I chatted with some people got something to eat and drink, and just chilled

I was Matt’s partner so at some point they brought me backstage to meet the other two girls. The whole time I was competing I felt Matts eyes on me, and it was making me so fucking nervous.

However this gave him some confidence because we won the first show.

“I have to thank my amazing team member because without her I would’ve lost” he said into the mic

“Thank you LA for an amazing first show! While we set up for backstage enjoy our friend Tril!!” Chris said

After the show, and Tril performing it was time to line up for backstage, and I felt like I was going to throw up…we’ve been through this before why the fuck am I about to throw up

I was the last group once again….Im sure Matt did that

Once again I went in and spoke with Chris and Nick, and filmed a tik tok with Matt because even though I’m sure he was going to fuck my brains out….I needed this tik tok with him

“You know the drill, stay in the back, and I’ll come grab you” he said lowly to me

“Got it” I said smiling

I went back over to Chris and Nick, and chatted with them…I wonder if they knew Matt blew my back out last tour….probably but oh well

“Alright guys! Thank you so much for supporting us and coming out here! Hope to see you guys at our next one” Nick said waving bye to everyone

This time the after show photo op was after backstage, so Matt’s security guard brought me back to another room like last tour, and I just sat in there

Me and my thoughts running wild, and I was so fucking anxious

About an hour and a half later I heard the door opening, and Matt came in locking the door behind him

“There’s that beautiful girl” he said winking at me

“You’re too kind” I said waving my hand at him

“Do you know why I brought you back here?” He asked me

“If it’s not to fuck me….then we have some issues” I said running my tongue along my teeth

“Ouu she knows what she wants….I like that” he said winking at me

“Well I assume that’s why you did what you did. You want to fuck again” I said

“Of course I do. Couldn’t get enough of that pussy” he said walking over to me

He ran his fingers along my bottom lip

“Oh Matt” I said sighing

“I need you so bad, you’re all I thought about these past 10 months” he said licking his lips

“Well I’m here, and I need you bad too” I said smirking at him

He leaned down ghosting his lips over mine

“Well come on then baby” he said before pulling pack, and helping me stand up

“I would love for you to suck my dick again, but I want nothing more than to fuck the shit out of you right now” he said leaning me up against the table

“Fuck Matt” I said moaning at his words

Matt started to kiss my neck to my collar bone, and then looked at me

“I hope you know-“ I cut him off

“Yeah yeah no kissing I got it” I said rolling my eyes, he looked at me and laughed. Going back to kissing my neck

“Fuck Matt I need you now” I said running my hands through his hair as he kissed my neck

“I know baby” he said

Matt then pulled away and helped me hike up my dress. Ghosting his hand over my pussy

“Oh” I sighed

He got down and started kissing my stomach all the way to my clothed pussy. He slowly slid my underwear down

“Fuckkkk” he said biting his lip

“So fucking sexy” he said looking up at me

Before I could answer he delved straight into my pussy, attacking my clit, licking sucking….just doing it all

“SHITTTT MATT” I moaned out my hands immediately going to his hair and pulled causing him to moan into my pussy

He was lapping at me, from my entrance backup to my clit. His nose bumping into my clit

“Fuck Matt I’m going to cum if you keep doing this” I said to him biting my lip

He pulled away and looked at me

“You’re cumming on my dick” he said before backing away

Matt brought his hand up and smacked my pussy causing me to shudder and whine out. He rubbed my pussy to soothe the ache, and then spat down onto my pussy

He pulled his dick out slowly stroking it

“You make me so hard” he said looking me up and down

Matt came up to me and started to rub his dick up and down my pussy

“Oh god” I said letting my head fall back

Slowly he started to push the tip in causing us both to gasp at the feeling

“Fuck I missed this” He said running his hands over my body

“Your dick feels so good….none like this back home” I said moaning

“Oh you fuck other guys?” He said as he bottomed out

“One other guy, but that’s it” I said

“I’m not sure that I like that” he said thrusting into me

“Fuckkkk…..I’m sorry baby I was just so horny and chasing after someone who could fuck like you” I said moaning out

“And they couldn't, right?” He asked panting

“They couldn’t” I said throwing my head back

“Good” he responded

And with that his hips snapped into me, pounding into me at such a delicious rate. All that could be heard was our moaning, the table creaking and skin slapping together

“Oh god Matt” I moaned out lifting my head up to look at him

“This pussy was made for me. You just take me so well” he said as he thrusted into me

As he kept pounding into me he looked ahead of him and saw a full length mirror

“Ohh baby I want you to watch me fuck you” he said biting his lip

He flipped us over, so my stomach was against the table, and he was pounding me from the back

“Look at yourself” he said pulling my hair make me look into the mirror

“Fuck” I said as my jaw dropped as I watched Matt watching us fucking in the mirror

He kept looking into the mirror the whole time while pounding into me

I was clenching down on him nearing my orgasm

“You gonna cum baby?” He asked while panting

“Yes yes yes please” I said looking at him through the mirror

“Whenever you want…go ahead and cum” he said while gripping onto my hair and furiously pounding into me

“FUCK MATT IM GOING TO CUM” I screamed out as I clenched down on him

He kept pounding into me, and suddenly I was shuddering, my mouth fell open as I looked into his eyes while I came all over his cock. Brows furrowed as I shook with ecstasy

“Mmm so fucking good to me” he said grunting as he kept thrusting

“I’m gonna cum baby” he said and suddenly pulled out

Stroking his dick a few times before he painted the back of my thighs in his cum. Moaning and staring into my eyes through the mirror…..god this was so fucking hot

After we caught our breaths he pulled his pants back up. Walking over to the counter and grabbing napkins before wiping me down

He helped me up, and picked up my underwear for me handing them to me

“Keep them” I said winking at him as I shimmed my dress down

“I like the way you think” he said before pocketing them

He was looking at me for a moment before he suddenly pulled me in crashing his lips to mine. Sparks and explosions were going off in my stomach

He pulled away

“I thought you didn’t kiss” I said licking my lips

“I didn’t, but you’re different” he said smiling at me

“I’m glad” I said fixing my hair

“Hey, we have two days to kill in LA. Could I maybe take you on a date?” He asked me

“I’d love that” I said

“Good. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at noon. We can do lunch” he said

“Sounds great” I told him

We actually walked out together this time, and went our separate ways when we got to the exit door

“See you tomorrow” he said

“See you tomorrow” I said back winking at him before walking off

The End

Hope yall enjoyed this one, and I can’t believe I’m at 397 followers this is insane 🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[bengals-barnesbabe]

Pairing: Joe Burrow x Singer!FemReader

Summary: When the secret relationship between a famous singer and a popular quarterback is revealed no one could be happier. But when lyrics to an unreleased song are released, the strength of their relationship is questioned and tested when fans, reporters and exes start coming into the mix. Will you get your happy ending or is this the beginning of the end?

Chapter 13: 'i love you, goodnight' tour

#Track9 Masterlist

Warnings: 18+, mentions of sex, foul language.

Part One🖤

Word Count: 1.2k

Anxiety courses through your veins like hot lava as you wait for your name to be announced. You haven't done a live appearance like this since before you and Joe went public with your relationship, not one with an audience that is. During rehearsals Jimmy reassured you that it would be more fun than stressful, but that does not include the buildup to it. Usually you’d be texting or talking to Joey right now but he’s knee deep in meetings across the country so thats not an option. So its just you and your nerves.

“For tonight’s musical guest, we have the incredibly talented and beautiful Venus, she will be singing her latest single off of her new album ‘Tell Me You Love Me,’ everyone allow me to introduce Venus to the stage.”

 I guess that’s my cue.

Walking out to the lively applause and the smiling host helps you shed some of the nervousness that plagued you earlier. You and Jimmy share a quick hug before turning towards the audience and smiling and waving back.

“Venus, everyone. Wow, they might love you more than me.” He jokes as you both take your seats.

“Well, I love everyone here equally.” You wink at the audience causing a wave of laughter. “Thank you so much for having me, Jimmy.”

“The pleasure is all mine, the last time you were here you had just won your first grammy’s and there was someone else with you backstage that we’re missing today.” He lightly smirked. Fantastic start right.

“Its crazy that it was only a little over a year ago when my life completely changed. Then even more so in the last few weeks, everything is absolutely insane and I wouldn't wish for it any other way.” You widely grinned, dusting off the last part of his question.

“Thats great,” he says then pulls up a photo of you at the SuperBowl. “You surprised everyone when you joined Usher at this year’s SuperBowl, tell us how this came about.”

Your eyes crinkled up as the memory flooded your brain. “Of course, so for those who don’t know Usher is one of the big industry people that discovered me way back when, so he’s been like my mentor ever since. He called me in about November and told me that he was going to

headlining it and I was ecstatic for him. It was about time we had an Atlanta centered show, and then he asked me if I wanted to join him. I immediately said yes, like Usher just asked me to perform with him, I don't care what stage we’re on or even the fact that I know him personally. The man is an absolute legend and it was an honor to share the stage with him. Being apart of his surprise guests was so exciting and I was starstruck the entire time.” 

“Thats incredible, you were amazing up there and I hope we see you headlining it someday.” He winked.

“Who knows what the future holds.” You chuckled.

Then a picture of you and a certain someone shows up on the screen behind you cause the audience to start hollering and your face to heat up a bit. “Oh what do we have here, I have no idea how that got up there.” You smiled then shook your head.

“I’m just going to ask the question and see how far you want to go. How did this happen, where did this romance come from?” He says hiding his face behind his cards.

“God, I’d like to say that I don’t know, but that’s not true. You can thank LSU for that, we met at the beginning of our senior year and became really fast friends. There was always some kind of attraction on both ends, but we didn’t do anything about that until two years later. And we’ve been together ever since.”

“That’s cute, you guys look great together. So were together during your first appearance?”

“Yea, he was backstage with me trying to stop me from freaking out about performing for y'all.” Everyone cracked up at that one.

“I don’t know how you could be nervous about this, you are absolutely killing it. Now lets talk about the album, this track 9 controversy, what happened?”

“My lack of media training happened,” you huffed. “Im joking, but not really. I was really excited to put out this project and even more ready to actually show the world who I dedicated it to. I worked on this album for a really long time, it was like journaling an adventure and the hardest part was finding a way to condense 5 years into one album. In the end, we were all satisfied with what we made then what I thought was going to be a fun little peak at track 9 turned into absolute chaos.”

“For a few weeks, it seemed like every media outlet could not stop talking about this song and really giving Joe a bad rep in the process.”

“One that wasn’t deserved at all. Joe was such a good sport through the whole thing because he’s such a laid back guy. While I was basically preparing for war, he was the one calming me down about it. Everything was so fresh to the outside world that people just took it to an extreme that it was no where near. When artists release a body of work, I think fans skip past the time element. That particular song was written before I was even signed, I was still working my regular 9 to 5 in Louisiana and using songwriting as a way to cope with my feelings. And its extremely dramatized. For something to be entertaining that might be banal to most, you amp it up and Track 9 was taken from a 4 to a 10 in one session. By the time we were putting together this album, Leon Thomas III, absolutely incredible musician and producer, heard it and decided to rework it. When he was finished, everyone in the room was in love with it, we almost made it a single.”

“Its funny how things like that happen. Before we let you go and hit that stage, give us a little about the song you will be performing in a bit.”

“Absolutely, earlier this week I released ‘Prayer for the Broken’ as a single because I wanted to be able to give to communities that are struggling right now. This song is about how love is the only thing that can fix our broken world so all the proceeds that it brings in will be donated to multiple charities around the world, to help people and communities in horrid conditions. These charities are on my website so if anyone wants to donate straight to them, please do. This song means a lot to me and I hope everyone loves hearing it live.”

“Tonight only?”

“Live tonight AND this summer when I go on my ‘i love you, goodnight’ tour. I hope to see you all there and maybe I’ll bring some friends along too.”

🝮

“Ladies and Gentlemen give it up once again for Venus!”

<<<Previous Chapter | Next Part>>>

Main Masterlist

[locker42]

“I don’t know why it affects me like this when you’re not even mine to consider.”

- Pedestrian at Best, Courtney Barnett.

Warnings: swearing, masturbation, explicit talks of sex, angst, cheating, use of drugs. (Let me know if I missed anything🥰).

Pairing: JJ Maybank x reader.

Words count: 5424.

The first time JJ had met her she didn’t leave quite the good impression on him, considering the only thing that covered her body from his eyes was one of John B’s Hawaiian shirts. He thought she was just a hook up, noting serious. Although he did think she was a little bit out of John B’s legue, to the better though. The next morning when he saw her sitting at the table eating breakfast with his best friend, he knew it was something more serious. John B kept her around for a long while, introducing her to the gang. She hit it off pretty quickly with the rest however JJ kept his distance. It wasn’t until one night when he came out of his room and saw her on the porch that he really made an effort to talk to her.

She was sitting on the couch, a joint held between her fingers as she exhaled the smoke, tilting her head slightly upward. He walked out of the opened door, drawing her attention to him. Now that he was outside he saw her full figure decorated with a shirt that no doubt belonged to John B.

“Hey, what are you doing out here?” He asked, still standing awkwardly beside her, hesitant to sit next to her.

“Just needed a smoke.” She shrugged her shoulders. “What about you? What are you doing up?”

“Couldn’t sleep.” He answered simply, deciding to put his doubts aside and sat down next to her. She put out her hand as an offer for a hit from her joint, he accepted with a small smile.

“Thanks.”

He took two long drags, enjoying the light-headed feeling it provided him.

“I didn’t know you smoked.” He said as he handed her the joint.

She took a hit before responding. “I mostly take my smoke breaks on the hammock in the back.”

He nodded, taking the joint from her as she offered it again. They sat in silence for a few minutes, and JJ felt his tiredness slowly slip away from him as he thought of what to say. He felt nervous for some reason, not knowing if striking up a conversation would the appropriate thing to do or maybe she just wanted to sit in silence. Before he could make his decision she made it for him.

“You know, I couldn’t help but notice that you are the only one who I didn’t get the chance to speak to.” She said, however her tone wasn’t accusing, she was just stating a fact.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. At first I thought you were just a hook up but then John B decided to keep you around.” He didn’t know what exactly in his words was the cause to her scoff.

“John B decided to keep me around?” She asked, and he knew he had opened his big mouth in the wrong time, again.

“No, that’s not what I meant.” He quickly defended himself. “It’s just that he usually doesn’t really have girlfriends, so it surprised me a little to see you stick around.”

“It’s okay, you’re good.” She dismissed him, a smile playing on her lips as she took another hit off the joint. “Oh, look, it’s finished.”

He turned his attention to the joint, only the butt of it left. She pouted before putting it out on the ashtray.

“I hate when that happens.”

“Don’t we all?”

For the first time since he met her, they shared a real smile rather than the polite one the sent the other’s way in the form of greeting. Just now he noticed how the corner of her mouth was tugged to the side and how she pressed her lips together and looked away as he kept his gaze on her. However he couldn’t figure out if she was shy or just uncomfortable. And, god, he wouldn’t forgive himself if it was the latter.

“So, how did you and John B meet?” She asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“We’ve been friends since the third grade and just kept in touch throughout that years.” He explained. She adjusted her position on the couch, turning her body to fully face him as she talked.

“That’s amazing, I don’t think I ever had a friend who stuck around for that long. You two must be very close.” She stated as she leaned her head in her elbow.

Although her first words made him think them over, he chose not to pry and instead commented on the latter of her words.

“Yeah, we’re all very close. Pope and Kie, too.”

“Are any of you dating?”

Her question made him chuckle. “Well, you are dating John B, and I’m pretty sure Pope has a thing for Kiara but he will die before he makes a move.”

She nodded her head, her hand coming to the back of her neck, moving her hair away. Her noticed the start of a small hickey on the collarbone, and something inside him twisted. It didn’t feel good.

“What about you? Any girl who caught your attention?”

Her voice made him return his eyes back to her own, feeling his face heat up in fear that he was caught staring. But she didn’t mention anything. “No, not anyone in particular.”

She nodded her head again, eyes darting from him to the room and he suddenly felt guilty for her visible boredom.

“So, where are you from?” He asked her, a small feeling of satisfaction resting on us heart as she turned back to him.

“Well, I’m originally from Michigan but I moved foster homes all the time so my childhood was kind of spread across the county.”

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “You’re an orphan?”

“Not exactly. My father was a piece of shit and my mother was never around. One day the neighbors called the police and I was sent away.” She explained, and he was surprised at how casually she said that.

“Some life story you have.” He commented, relieved when he heard her chuckle. “How old were you?”

“Seven.”

“Wow, so you’ve been in the system for ten years now.”

“Yes.” She tucked a stray of her hair behind her ear and something in him was jealous, wanting to do that himself. “It wasn’t that bad, not until I moved here, anyway.”

“Is it that bad here?” He teased her, a fake hurt look on his face.

She laughed. “No, I like it here. It’s just that no family has ever adopted me, and I got used to being in the orphanage. I had a friend there, Max. He is the funniest guy I have ever met, he really helped me go through everything.”

“That’s good. God, I can’t even imagine going through that.” He said, shaking his head in disbelief. “So, wait, what family adopted you here?”

“Do you know the Tedfords?”

“Yeah, they live not too far from here.”

“That’s me.”

That he didn’t know. He was sure she was just a touron John B has met at some party.

“How much time have you been living here? I never saw saw you around the island before you and John B started dating.”

“Almost a year, actually.”

“I have no idea how I never saw you.”

“Well, I don’t around that much, I met John B in the grocery store, nothing special.” She said smiling, and her smile did something to him. It didn’t turn him on but he did feel his heartbeat in his ears, the warmth spreading from his neck to his face again.

“What about you?” She asked, cocking her head to the side. “I’ve only seen you here but I’m pretty sure you don’t live here.”

“Yeah, I don’t. It’s just that most of the time I’m here so it’s easier to just sleep, eat and basically live here as well.” He explained, his body now turned to her. Usually, he’d hate when the part of his father or living situation would come up, but something in her made him want to spill all his secrets, but yet he still kept a straight mind.

“That’s cool, your whole dynamic of the group is really cool.” She said, however there was something in her voice that he quickly picked up on.

“Well, since your dating John B I think we’re officially your friends.” He told her with a reading smile. “Cause we all know what a pain it is to not get along with your boyfriend’s friends.”

She chuckled, pulling her knees to her chest. “Yeah, but gladly John B has some great friends.”

“I’m great, I know.” He said with a cocky smile, sending her a wink.

“I guess you’re okay.” She said with a small giggle, however she had no clue of what that giggle did to his heart. I’m fact, she had no idea of what would become of that innocent, late-night conversation, neither of them knew.

They kept on a good friendship, however JJ’s image of her became further and further from being a friend. He thought of her in all the ways he shouldn’t, all the ways John B thought of her. He cursed himself for feeling that, however that didn’t keep him away from her. He wanted to be near her all day long, to talk to her and to make her laugh. He was well aware of the fact that it wasn’t his job or place to do that. He wanted to stay away from her, but he couldn’t. She was like this drug he couldn’t get enough of, like the best joint he had ever smoked - but better.

They had met a couple more times late at night, smoking together became a habit he learned to love and appreciate. He could listen to her talking all day long. She was different from the other girls he dated in the past, she was much more interesting, and much more like him. Their bond was noticed by the whole group, including John B. JJ was worried that he’d suspected something was going on but he claimed he was just happy she was getting along with the group.

As time passed, JJ and Y/N became closer and closer, however instead of focusing on that, all he though of was how long it’s been since she and John B has started dating. It uncanny for him to keep a girl around for that long, which only meant that they were getting serious, and that only made things harder on JJ. Every time they talked, every time he saw her, all he wanted was to grab her and kiss her - but he couldn’t. Not as long as she was dating his best friend. And even if things were to end between the two, it would be immoral and overall just a dick move to get together with her.

So he kept his distance. Part of him was feeling guilty, seeing as they were becoming good friends with the time, however he knew the temptation was too hard for him to resist.

His self control was put to the test when he had just gotten to the Chateau after a long day of work, only to hear the moans of what he guessed was his best friend and his girlfriend, whom he liked. At first, he thought that they were just having sex, which made him want to run away from the house and curl in a hole for the rest of his life. However after a few seconds, he realized he could only hear Y/N’s moans. His eyes widened at the realization, jaw clenching as he listened to her soft moans, some higher, some breathier, and some so fucking sexy he swore a porn video was playing. But no, it was just Y/N, just the girl he was pretty much in love with, just the girl who dated his best friend. With that, he turned around to leave. He had no right intruding on her privacy or to listen in on her touching herself like some pervert.

But just as he was about to take his first step toward the door, he heard her say something he had grown to love and to cherish the sound of - his name.

“JJ..”

He heard her moan breathlessly, making him take a step closer to John B’s bedroom, rather than to walk out of the house before he does something that he’ll regret. All of his built up self control vanished as once again he heard her moan his name, louder this time.

“Oh, god, JJ, please..”

He felt his pants tighten as a series of moans followed her statement. As she got louder and louder, the only thing JJ could think about was what was going on in her head, what was she imagining as she moaned his name is such a sultry way. Did she imagine him pinning her down on the bed as he took her, leaving marks all over her perfect chest? Or was she imagining herself riding him, breasts bouncing in his face as she used him to get herself off. Or perhaps she imagined laying on her stomach, letting him use her, letting him slap her juicy ass as he rammed his dick into her over and over again until she was so cock drunk she couldn’t even utter a word.

He then realized he was picturing her in every position imaginable for men, however there was only one detail missing - her body. God, what he would do for her little slutty, red bikini to just fall off, and to reveal what he longed to see - what he thought of every night while he stroked himself. He wanted nothing more than to see her beautiful breasts, or her pussy, all dripping for him. As his thoughts carried away he had to physically restrain himself from taking his cock out and cumming all over the wooden floor. Before he could, he shook his head violently and walked out of the Chateau, heading to the dock where his fishing gear was already set up from the day before.

After a few minutes of him trying to clean his mind from the dirty thoughts that had possessed it only moments ago, he turned around to see her walking out of the Chateau, a tank top and jeans shorts adoring her defined figure. She sent him a smile which he returned as she walked over to him, leaning her back on the rail he was leaning his elbows on.

“Hey, what’s up?” She asked, and god, he was angry. He was angry that she had the nerve to just come out of there like she didn’t do these slutty actions - like she wasn’t touching herself in a house that wasn’t hers where anyone could walk in. How she dared to look at him with what she probably thought were innocent eyes, however he knew she was far from that.

“All good, where’s John B?”

He cursed himself at the mention of his friend, but he knew that the thought of him was the only thing keeping him from pressing the girl against the railing and slamming hip lips onto hers, whether she wanted it or not. And judging by what he heard, there was a very slim chance that she didn’t.

“He’s working today, told me to spend the day here since all of you are supposed to come by sooner or later.” She answered him, crossing her arms over chest, her breasts slightly pushing upwards, drawing his attention for only one mere second before his looked away and cleared his throat.

“Yeah, I just got back from work, figured I’ll fish something for dinner.” He said and put his hand on the fishing rod.

“Oh, good. There are new groceries so I can make some salad or something. If anyone else coming as well?”

“Yeah, Pope is supposed to pick Kie up from work so they’ll be here in a few.” He said, not moving his eyes from the water.

“Okay.” She said, and he felt her eyes on him, but he didn’t turn. “Is everything okay?”

He shook his head mentally, why in the hell would she ask that? Did she really care?

“Yeah, just tired.” He responded with a shrug of him shoulders, sending a small smile her way.

She returned the smile with one of her own. “It’s been a while since we had a smoking session, I gotta be honest I’m starting to miss them.”

For the first time since seeing her today, a real smile creeped up on his face. “Yeah, me too.”

He didn’t t bother making up an excuse to why he wasn’t coming out of his room anymore, he knew she deserved better than that.

“Maybe I’ll see you tonight? I got some things to tell you.” She suggested, and he could see the hope in her eyes, and god knew he could never say no to them.

“Maybe you will, and maybe I just got a new stack to try out, some weird combination my cousin made.”

She giggled. With most girls he had met, when they giggled it was the fakest sound he ever heard, most horrible coming in second. He knew it was only a way for them to flirt with him. However with Y/N, he knew it was real and he wanted nothing more than to make her laugh all the time, just to hear it.

“Well, you know I’m always up for a challenge.”

Everything went smooth after what happened, although the sound of her moans never left his mind. She never left his mind. It was bad enough that she was basically living with John B, making him a constant witness to their sex life. JJ tried to remember that it was his name she moaned as she touched herself, not John B’s, however after he heard her scream his best friend’s name, he couldn’t help the jealousy burning in him. God, what he would do to have her.

He started to ignore her again, not completely but he didn’t show up to their mid-night smoking sessions and all the other times he saw her she was with John B so he just kept quiet and let her converse with him or the others. He noticed the confused looks she sent his way, and it hurt him to know that even though they didn’t know each other for that long, she still missed him. He wished he could sit beside her, wrap his arm around her shoulders or hold her hand - but he couldn’t. She wasn’t his, she was with John B.

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

He turned his head around, only now taking notice of the girl walking his way. He just got back from a ride on the HMS Pouge after a date. It wasn’t anything special - well, not to him anyway - just a distraction. Since he was trying to get over his feelings for her he’s been seeing a lot of girls. Well, hooking up would be the right term. But nothing helped, every time he was in bed with a girl the only thing he could think of was Y/N. His mind instantly went to the sound of her moans, he imagined how her face would look like when she was cumming.

“I haven’t, just been busy.” He replied, turning away to finish tying the boat to the dock.

“Busy? With what?” She asked and cocked her head to the side, taking a step closer to him.

“Just working.” He shrugged.

“Did I do something?” She asked, all hint of playfulness gone, her tone now completely serious.

“No,” he said quickly, “you didn’t do anything.”

“Then why are you avoiding me?” She pressed on, her voice more stern.

“I’m not fucking avoiding you.” He raised his voice, only realizing he did so until he saw her slightly flinch. Guilt immediately consumed him but she already snapped back at him.

“What is your problem? Do you not like me or something?” She asked, and he just shook his head and opened his mouth to deny her suspicions but she wasn’t done. “I don’t understand why you’re ignoring me, I thought we got along-“

She sounded more disappointed and hurt than angry, and that only made him feel even more guilty. He never meant to hurt her, all he wanted was to get rid of the feelings he had for her.

“Y/N, stop.” He said before she could ramble on and on. She glared at him but stopped talking. “Look, it’s not that I don’t like you, I do. I mean, in like a friend way. You’re cool. But I’ve just been busy, I’ve got work and I-“

He wanted to tell her the truth - he wanted to tell her how he felt in great hope she’ll return his feelings. But he couldn’t. Because doing that meant losing his best friend, and he didn’t think he could ever be okay with that.

“I have a girlfriend.” He blurted out, however he regretted it immediately after seeing her reaction. She looked hurt - sad even.

“Oh, I didn’t know that.” She said and dropped her gaze to the floor before quickly looking up at him with a smile, but he knew better than to believe it was real. “I’m so happy for you. Who is she?”

“Just some touron I met at the bonfire.” He said quietly, hoping she didn’t ask any further questions.

“That’s great.” She said and nodded her head. “Sorry I attacked you, obviously I’m not the center of your life.” She added with a chuckle. If only she knew.

“It’s cool, I get it.” He shrugged it off, hoping she didn’t think he was mad. She should be mad at him, for avoiding her with. I explanation whatsoever.

“Good.” She said and stared at him for a few moments before looking away. “I’m gonna go, John B and I are going out for dinner.”

He tried to hide his jealousy and disappointment and smiled at her. “Have fun. But not too much fun.” He teased her with a wink, although his heart was aching for her.

“Thanks. And have fun with your girlfriend, whenever you see her.” She said with a smile of her own - similar to his.

“Thanks.”

As he watched the girl walk away the only thing he could think about was how much he wanted to be the one to take her out. He could just imagine it; he’d dress up in a white button up and bring her a bouquet of flowers and take her out on a romantic dinner - just the two of them. Then after the date he would kiss her goodnight and walk her to her door. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t do any of it. And that hurt him more than anything.

_________

This was officially JJ’s worst day ever. He went to work only to be yelled at by his boss and then had to deal with spoiled Kooks all day long. When he finally got home his dad decided to pick on him, leaving him bruised and with a bloody nose. After storming out of the house he walked straight to the Chateau. The sky was already dark but he had no trouble remembering the way to John B’s - he had been taking the same route since he was a little boy. As he got closer to the house he saw that the lights on the porch were on, indicating that he was still up. However as he reached the top stair to the porch he saw her, sitting on one of the couches, smoking a joint. He couldn’t help the guilt that built in him as he looked at her, he didn’t know she kept coming out there at night. Then he reminded himself that she had been doing this a while before he joined her. Then ditched her.

His former footsteps seemed to catch her attention as she turned towards him. The smile that first rose to her face at the sight of him disappeared as she observed his rough condition. She quickly put her joint on the ashtray that was placed on the coffee table and stood up, a concerned look on her face.

“JJ, what happened? Are you okay?” She asked as she rushed over to him.

As much as he missed her, she was the last person he wanted to see at the moment. He didn’t want her to see him that way - all beaten up by the hands of his father, tears threatening to fall and an anxiety attack just waiting to break through. He was a mess, and the exact opposite of what she wanted, what she deserved.

“It’s nothing, I’m okay.” He brushed her questions off. “Where’s John B?”

“What do you mean you’re okay?” She asked, ignoring his question. “JJ, your nose is all bloody and your face is-“

She cut herself off, taking a deep breath and looking away from his for a second.

“JJ, please, tell me what happened.” She begged, and he could see the tears forming in her eyes. That’s that last thing he wanted.

“Hey, hey.” He said softly, aching to touch her to calm her down but he restrained himself. “I’m okay, really. Just got into a fight.”

She didn’t answer him, all she did was take his hand in hers and examine it. After huffing, she dropped his hand down.

“Your knuckles are fine. And before you tell me you punch with your other hand, I’ve seen you punch.”

He clenched his jaw. Of course she noticed, how wouldn’t she? He was basically living with John B when he had a place of his own, he avoided talking about his home life and now he showed up in the middle of the night sporting one too many bruises. How could she not notice?

“JJ.” She whispered, but he kept his eyes on the floor, holding back the tears. She placed her hands on his face, careful not to touch any bruises along the way. “Please tell me it’s not what I think it is.”

He finally looked at her, and god did he regret that. The look she had in his eyes almost hurt him physically. It made him want to crawl into her arms and cry like a baby. It made him want to spill everything - to tell her about his father. Instead of doing the latter, he did the former. Without noticing a tear fell down his cheek, and a sob broke through him. With no sign of hesitation, she wrapped her arms around him. At first he was shocked, staying still as she hugged his tightly. But then, after letting himself go, he allowed his arms to wrap around her waist and to bring his face to her neck as he let go of his tears.

It was the first time he allowed someone to hold him so soon after seeing his father. It felt good, better than he had expected. He always didn’t want to be touched after an incident with his dad, but something felt different. Instead of flinching away or shutting himself out, he found comfort in the girl’s arms. He found warmness in the smell of her hair and peace in the feeling of her heart beating as she was pressed up against him. He hugged her tight with no intention of ever letting go, he hugged her because she was his solution, his light. She was the only one who could bring lightness into a dark night like this.

“I’m sorry.” He let out, feeling slightly awkward in the hug after he had managed to calm down.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” She said and shook her head, pulling back just enough for her to see his face. This time, he didn’t shy away from her, just focused on the beautiful features. Goodness, she was beautiful. He though to himself.

“This isn’t your fault, J. None of it. You don’t deserve any of this.”

They were these words that seeped into his mind, feeding his hunger for her. At the moment, he no longer thought of John B, or the fact that she was John B’s girlfriend. All he could think about was how much he wanted to feel her lips against his. He started to slowly lean in, noticing how she didn’t step back or pull away from him. Instead, she brought her hand to his hair and ran her fingers through it before joining their lips.

As soon as he felt her lips on his, he was a goner. He let out a groan at the feeling, pulling her closer to him as he deepened the kiss. It was everything he imagined and more. The mixed feelings of her hands in his hair and on his neck and her lips moving with his gave him a head rush, and he never wanted it to stop. He took initiative and ran his tongue over her lips, a new feeling of excitement washing over him as she opened her mouth and allowed his tongue to intertwine with hers. She pulled at his hair, making him groan into her mouth as he moved his hand up to her neck. The kiss didn’t last as long as he hoped for. After the king time he had to restrain himself from kissing her, now that he was, he didn’t want to stop.

She pulled away, her hands staying on his cheeks, thumb wiping the tears that stayed on his face.

“J-“

“Don’t.” He cut her off, Leaning his forehead against hers. “Don’t say anything, please. Just wanna stay like this for a moment.”

To his slight surprise, she didn’t object and closed her eyes. He felt her soft breathing on his face as his fingers played with the ends of her hair. He wished he could stay like this, with her in his arms. He wished he could kiss her again and to hold her again. At that moment, with her so close to him after a shared passionate kiss, he realized he was in love with her. It only made sense; he could not stop thinking about her, and not even in a solely sexual way. He wanted to do so much more than just sleep with her. He wanted to take her out on dates, to hold her hand and to hug her close in his arms. Before he could remind himself that she wasn’t his she pressed her lips to his again. It was a light kiss, unlike their first one, but it had the same effect on him.

“I’m sorry.” She said quietly, almost as if she didn’t want to say the next words. “But I can’t do this, I’m with John B and I-“

She took a deep breath, a pained expression on her face. He knew what she was gonna say.

“I love him, JJ. I’m sorry.”

It broke his heart, more than he could ever imagine. Hearing her say these words hurt him, because it made all of his suspicions and concerns true. She didn’t love him, she loved his best friend. It shouldn’t surprise him, really, she was in a relationship with him. But it still hurt, the rejection hurt.

“Then why are you touching yourself to me?”

He didn’t mean to say it, he didn’t mean the tone he used. But he was upset, and unfortunately for him, that manifested into anger.

“W-what?” She stuttered, clearly surprised by his question.

“You say you love him but yet you’re moaning my name when you touch yourself. So explain that.” He said and took a step closer to her.

She scoffed, shaking her head. “Were you listening to me? Are you stalking me or something?”

“No, I’m just saying that you should think twice before you do something like that in a house that isn’t even yours.” He said, keeping his voice low. “Cause all I had to do was walk into the Chateau and hear you moaning for me.”

“It-it wasn’t-“

“Save it. Just go back to your boyfriend, maybe think of me once or twice when you fuck him.” And with that, he walked off, leaving her standing in the porch. A part of him hoped she would call after him, but she never did. He shouldn’t have expected her to, as she said, she loved John B, not him

[snowyh2o]

Hazbin Hotel Episode 7&8 Spoilers:

Ok, ok. I’ve finally calmed down a bit. I have. SO many thoughts on Alastor, that I’m just not gonna touch on them in this post, aside from I FUCKING KNEW HE WAS LOSING IT FBSKDNFBSHHDHFBS.

But what I wanna focus on is Rosie! And how she’s been described as the nicest overlord. And how Cannibal Town is like, the nicest place we’ve seen in hell??? The streets are relatively clean, no one is trynna kill each other. There’s so many people out on the streets, just? Going about their days? Aside from the fact that they’re all cannibals, it’s almost like any other town you’d visit! (I am not familiar enough with the fashion styles over the years to like, accurately date what time period Cannibal Town is supposed to reflect, but it feels old (and somewhere Alastor would fit right in with) lol).

And then we actually meet with Rosie, and she’s in the middle of consulting one of her people, where there’s a HUGE line up of others looking like they’re waiting to consult with her too! And like, even before she spoke with Charlie about her love life, she’s giving advice and comfort and support and connecting to the lady she’s speaking with who apparently wants to eat her husband. Before saying that she’ll set the man straight if the lady sends him to her, and gives her a card if she ever needs any more help.

Like. First minute into seeing Rosie and like. WOW. You can IMMEDIATELY tell that this is the reason why everyone in Cannibal Town’s so chill and happy? Why there’s such a sense of order and security in a place that’s basically just anarchy?

Rosie is both the Overlord, the unofficial mayor, the therapist and consultant and your best friend all wrapped up into one. She’s got an entire lineup of people who are waiting to tell her their woes and listen to her advice. And she’s happy to help!

Even the actual cannibalism is like, so posh and proper? Or it’s treated in Cannibal Town as like, normal food. But also it’s very telling that no one’s killing each other for said cannibalism. In fact, the only times we’ve seen them do so is after an extermination, when there’s a bunch of dead bodies that aren’t reviving lying around. (And they seem to lose their manners when eating then) It is likely tho that they just, target outsiders, since everyone we saw aside from Alastor and Charlie were a part of Cannibal Town.

Just the Juxtaposition of a town literally full of Cannibals being probably THE nicest place in hell for sinners to live in??? Immaculate.

Also, Rosie’s snide comment on how Alastor’s got no manners when it comes to being offered food LOL. And, I just LOVE their relationship and interaction. First time chatting in years and she’s already offering up place with a deal for Alastor to go make. That AMAZING little joke about him being Ace and having it COMPLETELY flying over his head. Alastor letting her touch him, and how genuinely excited and happy the two of them are just talking and interacting. Their little duet in the middle of the song, the way Rosie pulls Alastor out of his scheming to just enjoy the moment. Their dance!!! She’s never been wronged by Alastor before!!! She trusts him to follow through on his side of the unofficial bargain/favor. Looking like proud parents when Charlie finds the courage to sing her pitch. I love, everything about these two, oh my god.

Anyways!!! Back to Rosie being just, a genuinely good aunt? And giving so much good advice for Charlie. Asking her the questions that needed to be asked. Rosie has, such good insight? On what the issue was, and why Vaggie would’ve kept something from her. She didn’t shy away from how big the secret was, but she also didn’t let Charlie spiral into questioning every little part of their relationship. And that little end but when she’s saying that Vaggie is flawed, but so is everyone else down in hell. GAWD. How it’s difficult to admit your regrets. Like, if that isn’t the core of the show, the core of Charlie’s dream, then I don’t know what is. Rosie cut through to the heart of the matter, she didn’t tell Charlie what she should feel or how she should act, but asked her what she’s actually feeling, and why, and told her to trust herself and her own judgement on if Vaggie’s actions were sincere or not. Man she’s such a good therapist.

(I’m half convinced Alastor didn’t just bring Charlie to Cannibal Town and see Rosie just because they needed support and numbers to fight against the exorcists, but also because she’s the best person he knows who can give out good relationship advice and he’s getting a little tired of Charlie venting at him. Especially now that she’s past the self loathing phase and has stepped into the unrestrained anger and frustration at someone else phase)

Also, unrelated topic but here’s a thought: only angel steel/holy weapons/powers can do permanent damage to someone’s body/soul. Vaggie’s eye is torn out by Lute’s exorcist blade, but her wings were just ripped off by hand. Vaggie’s eye never regenerated or recovered, but she was able to regrow her wings. Alastor was struck by Adam’s holy weapon across his chest. What if the injury never fully recovers?

And also, Alastor’s talk about “unclipping” his wings. My friend, once a bird’s wings are clipped they can’t be unclipped! You have to wait for the feathers to shed and grow in new ones. To regenerate. Also what is this talk about you having wings??? Don’t tell me you’re ALSO a secret angel??? Probably not cause your blood is red BUT. Where are you hiding those supposed clipped wings of yours eh?!

[call-sign-jinx]

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw - Her

Summary - you’re Bradley’s best friend and he tells you who he loves which breaks your heart

Warnings - fluff, swearing, drinking

Main Masterlist Bradley ”Rooster” Bradshaw Masterlist

A/N - hiya me luvlys! how r u luvly people doing today? also, for whatever isn't requested specifically, the reader will always have a northern british accent, like a manchester accent. just a preference sorry ahaha xx

bradley "rooster" bradshaw x fem!reader

Bradley has been my best mate since I moved to America. I moved in right next door to him with my mum and dad and little sister Alya. We moved to America because my dad got a new job and thought it was best for all of us.

Bradley then became my best friend very quickly. The first day we met to be more precise. He stuck up for me when I were getting bullied during my first week of my new school. Some bitch decided to take the piss out of me and Alya cause we’re fucking Polish? Okay mate. Anyway, I’m getting side tracked here.

Bradley stuck up for me and Alya right off the bat. He was so sweet and he gave Alya his lunch cause them kids decided to fucking take her lunch which is just classic stupid ass bully shit from films.

Now god knows how many years later, we’re in the Navy, as Naval Aviators, went to different academies, and we’ve both been called to Top Gun. He was the first person I called to tell him. And I was the first person he called. We immediately went down to our favourite bar to celebrate, Alya coming as well cause she’s part of our group. But in all honesty, me and Bradley are closer.

Currently, me and Bradley are sat in his Bronco on our way to the Hard Deck to meet some of the other aviators. Hopefully there’s another woman there, if there isn’t I’m gonna be too overwhelmed with testosterone. I already get enough from Rooster over here.

Anyways, as soon as I got into the Navy, people gave me the callsign Fox (you can change the callsign and why you got it but I’m going to use this 😊) because “I’m a fox”, meaning I’m sexy, according to everyone at my academy. Which consisted of all men and one woman who was a WSO who soon retired to be with her family after a training scare. God I miss her, her callsign was Nyx. She was amazing. Bradley said I got my callsign because “I look cute but I’m a silent killer”. I like that reason better.

Back to the Hard Deck. Me and Bradley walked in talking about some shit we did back in high school. Which I am not proud of because it mostly consisted of making out with lads and getting stupidly drunk at parties which led to Bradley taking me home while I sang California Love.

As I looked around my eyes instantly landed on a woman with military uniform on and my eyes lit up. I quickly made my way toward her, accidentally leaving Bradley, and introduced myself.

“Hi, oh my God, you don’t know how happy I am to see another female aviator here…” I looked to her name tag and saw her callsign, Phoenix. “Phoenix! I’m Y/N. But my callsign’s Fox. It’s really nice to know I won’t suffer with too much testosterone alone.” I was rambling at this point, but she didn’t seem to mind. She smiled and nodded at everything I said.

“It really is a relief, before you came over here I thought I would be alone with all these guys. And I love your callsign. How’d you get it?” Phoenix gave me a inquisitive look and I smiled remembering the day some jackass gave it to me.

“Because I’m ‘foxy’ then everyone started calling me it and it just stuck. Because of some fucking wankstain that gave it to me.” Phoenix then burst into laughter as I said “wankstain”.

“Guys are like that all the time, especially Hangman over there.” She points to a guy and he looks like a real life Ken doll.

“Just this moment I thought he was a 6’2 Ken doll. He looks fucking plastic. Wondered why the Hard Deck would put a Ken Doll display up in here.” Phoenix then began laughing to the point she had to hold her stomach.

As Phoenix gained composure, I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. I turned to look around and saw Bradley. I smiled up at him and rested my head on his hand.

“I see you’ve already met Phoenix.” Bradley stretched his arm across my shoulder and smirked at Phoenix. Does he like her? Why would I care anyway? Do I care? Does he like her though?

“Yep, and I like her more than you already.” I turned my body to face Bradley and he placed his hand on his heart in mock hurt.

“That hurts my feelings sweetheart, how dare you.” The new nickname brought heat to my cheeks. I looked down to my feet quickly then looked back up to him and put a smirk on my face.

“Aww poor Bradley, come on Phoenix we need to give him a hug. He’s having a bad day today.” I made a pouty face and Bradley just stood there with a pissed off smile.

“Shut up Y/N. You know you love me.” I rolled my eyes as Bradley came up and and hugged me by my side.

————————————————————————

“Bro, I can’t be arsed with getting up so early just to meet who we’re gonna be trained by.” I said to Rooster as he took a swig of the shared bottle of Apple Sourz that I got an hour before meeting up with him in his Bronco.

“Best not be some prick who’s full of himself. I swear if he is and he tries anything wiv me, you, Bob or Phoenix am gonna spark him out.” Bradley lets out a hearty laugh and pats my shoulder.

“You British people sure do have a way with words sweetheart.” There it is again. The nickname. It brings heat up to my cheeks yet again and it’s not dark enough to hide so Bradley can see it.

“Are you blushing Y/N?” I immediately look away as my worries were confirmed. Bradley saw me fucking blush. Great.

“No why?” I pretended to be oblivious to the raging red covering my face. It got even darker as Bradley squinted his eyes at me, getting a better look at the rouge covering my whole face most likely.

"You're as red as a tomato Y/N. Is something wrong then? If you're not blushing then why is your face red?" I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me, I may be called Fox but I don't think I can get myself out of this one.

"It's getting a bit hot? That's why. It's getting hot." Bradley rolled his eyes at my answer. But he didn't press on it any more. We sat in silence for what felt like forever. Until I broke the silence.

"Bradley?" Bradley sat up and turned to look at me before nodding his head for me to continue.

"How come you've never had a long term girlfriend? I'm sorry for asking but I've always wanted to know because, not gonna lie you are quite easy on the eyes so I just don't understand it." Bradley's eyes widened in shock. I was lying when I said he was "quite easy on the eyes" he's fucking gorgeous! He's fucking perfect for God's sake!

I immediately regretted what I said and before he could even open his mouth I blurted out, "Shit! Sorry! I don't know why I even said that. Just ignore it, you don't have to-" Bradley cut me off by putting his hand over my mouth.

"It's okay Y/N/N, I'm fine with answering any questions you have for me. We're best friends after all, aren't we?" I nodded in response.

"It's because I never truly or fully like or love them. There's something stopping me from doing that. Because I like that thing so much better and all I do is compare them to her." My eyes widened and heart broke, he was in love with someone? That's why he's never had a long term girlfriend? Because he's in love with another woman?

"Her?" Is all I could say. Tears threatened to come out of my eyes, I couldn't cry in front of him after he said that. It'd make it obvious that I was in love with him.

"Yeah, and she's amazing, I think I love her in all honesty. She's smart, she's funny, she's beautiful and she's brave..." I had to look away so Bradley didn't see me cry. She already sounds so much better than I could ever be and he only named 4 things about her.

"And she's got a Callsign that she hates but I absolutely love..." He grabbed my chin with his index finger and thumb and made me look at him.

"And do you wanna know what her Callsign is?" I nodded my head, wanting to know this amazing woman who made Bradley swoon for her.

"Fox." My heart literally stopped. I couldn't breath. The tears completely stopped and I couldn't help the massive smile that was painted across my face.

"Me?" I just wanted to confirm it. Confirm I wasn't imagining that he said my Callsign.

"Yes you. You're the reason I've never had a girlfriend for longer than a month. Because to me, you're so much better than all of them combined. And before you ask, the reason I didn't tell you is because I thought that if I had told you, you wouldn't feel the same and it would ruin our friendship. And yes I know that that's what every guy says to his girl best friend in most of the movies we've watched. So don't even comment on that." In response to his confession, I threw myself on him in a big hug that knocked him onto his back on the bonnet of his Bronco.

After I pulled away from the hug, I looked into Bradley's eyes and smiled. He loved me. Bradley fucking Bradshaw loves me!

"I love you too Bradley. I always have and I always will." Before he could reply, I connected our lips as I ran my hand threw his hair. His mustache tickled my top lip and it made me giggle slightly. Bradley almost immediately kissed back as his hands trailed down my torso to my waist and pulled my closer. I swiped my tongue across his bottom lip asking for permission and he quickly allowed it. Bradley then squeezed my waist which elicited a slight moan from my mouth.

When we both finally pulled away, Bradley had a look in his eyes that I've never seen before. I furrowed my brows, confused at his expression. "What?" I questioned him and all he did was smile more than he already was.

"I've just realised that my life is perfect now that I have you. And no one else can have you." I rolled my eyes with a playful smile on my face.

"You have to pop the question before you can say that, Rooster." We both now had the same smirk on our faces.

"Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, will you be my girlfriend?" He had a charming mixed with excited smile on his face. One I couldn't say no to of course.

"I would love to be." With that, he pulled my into another kiss.

I finally felt at ease with him. He is basically my emotional support animal but a human. He's always been there for me and now he's my boyfriend. I couldn't be any happier than this right now. Nothing can beat what I'm feeling right now.

[lighthouseas]

hi all! i know that i haven’t posted for a while, but since the end of the year is fast approaching, i thought i’d make a post detailing my appreciation for my lovely mutuals . (if you saw this post earlier because tumblr was being a bitch, no you didn’t <3333)

anyway, without further ado- and in no particular order-

bee’s end-of-the-year MUTUAL APPRECIATION POST!!!

@hazmatazz - OHHH MAN. SILLY GUY ALERT. starting off strong with the lovely the amazing the fantabulous HAZ HAZMATAZZ. haz, being your friend and fellow Silly Squad member has been such an honor. you’re so funny and sweet and smart and make the best posts that make me giggle. and even though i don’t talk in it much, seeing so many Shenanigans go down in the discord server is seriously the funniest thing. I could just. squish you. you make me so happy and it’s an honor to be your friend. seriously hope 2024 treats you amazingly bc you deserve all of it <3333

@cannibalismyuri - SARA!!!! sara my lovely ohhh you are. the funniest. seriously. i have been reduced to Tears of laughter from posts on your blog. you have such an energy about you that is completely unmatched. even with Fandom Weirdness and the like, you’ve still pulled through and kept being your silliest self (and let me be silly with you which is awesome), and i commend you for that. aaaand not to get sappy or whatever but i really do look up to and admire you. you inspire me a lot. also, i love your new url. i want to eat it. pun intended. HAVE THE BEST 2024 EVER <3333

@qulizalfos - LIZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. everyone listen up okay. liza is the loml IF ANYONE EVEN CARESSS. liza oh my god i adore you and your endless enthusiasm. seriously your comments on tsad are comments that i look back on when i need motivation because they’re just. so sweet. you are so sweet. we’ve only been mutuals since this SUMMER and yet it feels like we’ve known each other forever. i love screaming about things with you and i love the fact that my FIC is in your BIO??? HELLOOOO??? also okay. can we talk about your writing and art. liza i cannot say ENOUGH how talented you are. if i could staple your fics and art to the entire st fandom’s forehead so they would have to look at it forever then i would. your brain is so ginormous and the way you describe things and think about things is something i could only dream of doing. literally adore everything about you and wish i could hang out with you and wayli so we could all be a little insane together <33333 love you. LOVE YOUUUU I hope 2024 is awesomesauce for you <33333333

@wayward-sherlock - SPEAKING of wayli. oh wayli. if i had time to write a 10 page essay detailing how much of an impact you have had on me i would. seriously though you are just the sweetest, kindest, and most positive person ever. seeing you blow up my notes makes me grin So Hard because like oh man. wayli likes my blog. THEEE wayli thinks i’m cool. wtfff….anyway. you are so smart and it shows in your literally breathtaking writing and analysis (ANALYSIS FIRM!!!) you’re so perceptive and it honestly blows me away. reading your writing is so mesmerizing and just. sends me on an adventure. actually just scrolling through your BLOG sends me on an adventure because you always have the best stuff on there. honestly, I just wanna give you the biggest hug and tell you how awesome you are because rambling in a tumblr post simply is not enough. all’s that to say, i’m really looking forward to this coming year that will hopefully include more screaming about fanfiction in our discord messages and more of us being friends. because i love being your friend and it’d be so awesome if one day we could hang out together and be a tad Insane. doopel dopple gang STICKS TOGETHER AMIRITE?? anyway. i love you so much and wish you all the best in 2024 <333333

@antibyler - spencer HIII i know it’s been a minute since we last talked but can i just say that it has been an HONOR being your mutual this year. you’re so cool and fun and easy to talk to and also are a Fellow NHIE Fan which makes you even cooler. don’t think i’ve ever seen a bad opinion on your blog, which i know is saying a lot but it’s true To Me okay. seriously could never ever imagine Not following spencer basiltonpitch antibyler because like. that’s some essential dash content right there. THEEE blog to ever. makes the tumblr experience about 2034549650 times better. hope 2024 treats you wonderfully, my triple b mutual WOO <3

@versa-vices - FINNIEEEE!!!!!! you are my sunshine my special sunshine you make me happyyyyyyyy when skies are grayyyy….like actually though you are such a sunshine. seeing your comments on my posts never fails to make me giggle. a Silly Squad member that’s for sure. but like. being your tumblr bestie this past year has been so much fun. hanging out on the dash together and being Slightly Unhinged in the discord messages has been one of the highlights of my year. you’re so sweet and lovely and i don’t think it would be tumblr without you (those 10 minutes where you deactivated were HARD man okay. what am i supposed to do without u :(() okay anyhoo. thank you for being the bestest ever and hope 2024 treats you well <333

@light-lanterne - angel hiii! it’s been a bit since we’ve interacted but i needed to talk about how kind and patient you’ve been throughout literally everything because tumblr can be a little much sometimes. your kindness and determination to make so many beautiful graphics is absolutely incredible. i still look back on the graphics you’ve made for my fics sometimes, and it’s just…amazing. you’re so talented both in your art and your writing. when times got tough in the Fandom, i could always count on your blog to be a cozy and warm retreat from the craziness. it’s an honor to be your mutual, and i hope 2024 treats you kindly, because you seriously deserve it <33

@booksandpaperss - ELLI HIII!! holy shit one of my oldest mutuals. here when the ancient scrolls were written. elli , you have made my fandom experience so much more enjoyable. what with your huge brain and amazing takes, you always keep things real and i admire that about you. you’re also just. so easy to talk to. both because you’re ridiculously funny and also because you’re so nice to me like what. i love Discussing things with you, especially when it felt like we were sitting in a corner sipping tea and having a grand old time while the entire fandom went batshit. uscore fr. also, your comments on tsad…dude…they made me and STILL make me tear up. you read everything with such an attentive eye and then give the sweetest compliments on it. it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. you’re just. so awesome okay. never forget that. hope u have a wonderful 2024 <3333

@karenchildress - hi jo!!!!!!!!!! i know we don’t interact as much but like. you’re such a joy to see on the dash i’m being so fr right now. how are you so funny like some of your posts still make me laugh to this day. you also keep things Real which i appreciate a lot, people tend not to do that nowadays T-T. we need more jo karenchildresses in the st fandom i think. things would improve marginally. anyway. keep being cool and fun and hope 2024 brings you much joy <3

@homohabu - oh man you’re just. you’re so nice. your blog is so inviting and has the loveliest colors all over it that make me very happy. you’ve always been so lovely to me and it makes me smile. you’re also another one of my oldest mutuals…and you’ve still stuck around through everything. thank you for having an awesome blog and being an awesome person! hope 2024 is good for you!!!!!!!!

@kuntniss - sierra!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hiiiii it’s been a minute but can i just say that your blog makes me so so so super happy whenever i look at it. both your reblogs and original posts are just. great vibes. great vibes all around. you’ve been so nice to me this past year and it’s seriously been so wonderful interacting with you and looking forward to seeing your posts. being your mutual is so fun. i hope 2024 brings you so many good things, you deserve all of them <33333333

@weirdo09  - cade! i know you haven’t been online in a while but i just wanted to say that you’ve been such a wonderful friend to me this past year. you’re so creative and i loved hearing your ideas in my inbox and getting tagged in your wonderful. i hope you’re doing okay now, because you were honestly such a joy to see on the dash and in my notes. also, your ever changing themes were always a nice surprise to come across when i opened your blog, lol. hope 2024 treats you well :)

@holyvirgilscriptures - virgil !!!! oh my god i adore your blog so badddd like. i could seriously scroll through it forever it’s just banger after banger after banger. you always have the best takes on like. Everything. also FELLOW TAWOG BROTHER IN ARMS HELLOOOO !!!! BEST TASTE IN MEDIA AWARD GOES TO YOU MY FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway. you have made this year so so so enjoyable just with the Existence of your blog. this coming year i hope we can interact a bit more because you’re super awesome <333 may 2024 bring you many good things! 

@ollsonline - oliver <3333 my lovely. since we became mutuals you have been nothing but the sweetest, kindest, friendliest person to me. you’re so welcoming to everyone and it absolutely warms my heart. you’ve been such an amazing friend to me this year and we should totally talk more because you’re super cool and awesome also!!! thank you for being the best and i hope 2024 treats you kindly <3

okay that’s all i’ve got! to any mutuals i did not get to mention: i love you so much. you have made The Tumblr Experience that much more bearable with your endless kindness. i love all of you so much, and am wishing you a happy new year through the screen! MWAH!!!!!!!

[roguesimagination]

can you do a Lo'ak x fem! Reader where it’s one sided love for the reader I need some angst😭

The Heart Wants What It Wants

Pairing: Lo'ak Sully x F!Human Reader

Synopsis: Your love for Lo'ak has only grown since they left, but what happens when you discover that that love is unrequited?

Genre: angst and fluff

Content Warnings: bittersweet ending, unrequited love, hurt feelings

Word Count: 1.6k

Notes: You didn't specify much, so I just wrote what I felt. This also has kind of a bittersweet ending for the reader, so I hope that you're okay with that and that you enjoy it &lt;3

The water felt cold on your skin as you walked along the beach. It was dark and windy, and you should probably return to the marui to get some sleep, but you couldn't. The same thoughts that always clouded your mind were there once again. Your love for Loa’k had only gotten stronger as more years passed and you were unsure on whether you should confess or not.

Since they left to look for shelter at the Metkayina Clan you could only think about him. Your chest burned at the thought of having no contact with him or not knowing if he was alright. However, two months later Norm got a call from Jake explaining that they suffered and attack from Quaritch, but they won. Norm decided to vist and chek up on them since he also missed them. Besides, he would take his time to explore the new fauna and Metkayina's culture. It was hard to convince him since you were human and it could be a dangerous trip, but he understood your motives.

When you arrived there you were greeted by the Sully family, except for Lo’ak, who was nowhere to be found. You spent the rest of the afternoon swimming and having fun with Neteyam, Kiri and Tuk. They also told you that Loa’k was probably out there swimming or training.

Now that it was finally dark your heart was filled with worry. You knew Lo’ak was reckless and impulsive, so you thought about all the trouble that he could be into right now. However, your worries were soon gone.

You heard someone scream your name and you instantly recognized the voice. It was Lo’ak

Your heart was pounding faster and faster as he approached you. It had only been two months since the last time you saw each other, but god you had missed him so much… 

“Lo’ak!” you shouted back as he picked you up and hugged you. It still amazed you how easily he held you in the air.

“You’re here!” he left you carefully on the ground. “You’re here!”

“Yes, I am here!” you laughed.

“I’ve missed you so much.” he smiled. “And I have so many things to tell you. The other day I met a Tulkun…”

He kept rambling about all the creatures he had met, all the things he had learned, every weird thing he had discovered… You thought it was really cute. Maybe it was the night air, or the excitement of the moment, but you would confess right there and then.

“Sorry to interrupt, but there’s something really important I have to tell you.” your hands were sweaty and you felt warmer than usual.

“Okay, then tell me.” he listened.

“Well, it’s something kind of hard to explain,” you began. “I mean, we’ve known each other since we were children and I uh, shit, this is hard to say. What I’m trying to say is that-”

“Lo’ak!” a girl screamed from a distance. “I’ve been looking for you all day! I was really worried.”

The girl approached him and hugged him. He hugged her back, putting his hands on her hips. That looked weird to you. He didn’t put his hands on your waist when you hugged him.

“This Y/N, the friend I’ve talked so much about,” he explained. “and Y/N, this is Tsireya, my mate.”

His mate. You were just apart for two months and he had already fallen in love with someone. You felt your whole world shattering and falling apart. Of course he would be in love with someone else. Tsireya looked beautiful and even if you didn’t know her you were sure she was probably kind, smart, funny… You should be happy for them. You should, but you can’t.

“Are you alright?” Tsireya asked. “You look a bit pale.”

“Oh, uh, yes.” you felt the know forming in your throat. “I’m just a bit dizzy. If you excuse me, I’m going to rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Without expecting an answer you walked away from them and went into the marui you shared with Norm. When you entered you saw Norm writing on a notebook; probably some scientific stuff, you thought. You were behind him when you sat on the ground, so he didn’t see you.

“This place is amazing!” he exclaimed as he kept writing. “There’s so many new things and creatures to study here!”

“Yes, this place is really beautiful.” you said, but Norm noticed how your voice trembled.

When he turned around he saw the seriousness on your face and the tears that were about to fall. He sat next to you and hugged you tightly. Even if you weren’t blood-related he was like a father to you, and you were like a daughter to him. He hated to see you cry.

“What’s wrong, my sweet child?” he asked as he stroked your hair.

“He…” the tears started to fall down your face. “He doesn’t like me back.”

“Well, are you sure?” he asked. “How do you-”

“H-he has already found a mate.” you explained as you kept sobbing. “He loves another.”

He sighed and just kept stroking your hair knowing that he couldn’t do anything about it. He stayed like that until you fell asleep. Then, he laid you on your bed and made sure you weren’t cold. He could heal people, fix machines and even create avatar bodies, but when it comes to love the heart wants what it wants.

The next day you didn’t even bother to wake up. You decided to stay in bed all day, not feeling strong enough to see Lo’ak again. Norm would usually complain about it, but he knew that you needed time to heal. Meanwhile, he would keep up with his research.

You were alone with your thoughts until you got interrupted by a couple of knocks.

“Can I come in?” Neteyam asked.

You probably looked like shit, but you had looked worse before, so you let him in. He looked at you up and down with a worried look on his face. Your face was red and puffy, your eyelids were still wet from crying and your hair looked messy.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked. 

“Not really.” you looked at the ground.

He actually knew what was wrong, but he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. The night before Lo’ak explained how weird you acted around Tsireya when you met her and he didn’t understand why, but Neteyam did. He couldn’t believe how his brother could be so oblivious.

“I actually came here to ask you if you want to go on a ride with my ilu.” he said. “Just you and me.”

You sighed and looked at the boy. At least you wouldn’t see Lo’ak, so you accepted his request. First you combed your hair and tried to look like a decent human being. Once you were ready you got on the ilu, behind Neteyam.

As the ilu went underwater you wrapped your hands around Neteyam’s torso, scared of falling. That sent goosebumps all over Neteyam’s body, but he tried to ignore it. You saw even more creatures you hadn’t seen before and you wondered if you’d be able to see them all.

Once the ilu returned to the surface you were in a cave. The cave was wide and full of glowy flowers. The roof had white shiny dots that looked like stars, and the water looked even cleaner and bluer.

“I found this cave the other day.” he explained. “I thought you would like it.”

“It’s incredible.” you said as you admired the flowers. “I love it.”

After exploring the cave along Neteyam you sat on the ground next to him, layin your feet underwater while looking at the fish. At least you were distracted for a bit, but it still hurt. It hurt more than any other pain you had ever felt.

“I know you don’t want to talk about the reason you are sad,” Neteyam said. “but I just want you to know that I’m here to listen if you need it.”

“It’s kind of stupid, actually.” you explained. “I just… I like Lo’ak. I always have and he clearly doesn’t. That’s it.”

“I’m sure you’ll find someone who deserves you.” he remarked. “Someone who sees you.”

“But that’s the thing.” you sighed. “I’m a human living in a world of Na’Vis. I’m not going to find anyone who thinks of me that way. I don’t even know why I thought that Lo’ak could like me. I’m never going to be someone’s first choice.”

Neteyam sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. It hurt him to see you like that. Specially knowing how wrong you were.

“But you are someone’s first choice.” he expressed, looking at you.

“You don’t know that.” you looked back at him.

“But I do, Y/N.” he reassured you. “I do.”

You chuckled and observed the fish again. You knew he said that to comfort you, and that he probably meant that someday you’d be someone’s first choice, but you didn’t want to argue or keep talking about it. You appreciated his effort.

Neteyam didn’t take his eyes off of you. He observed the your face lit up by simply observing nature. He loved there were dimples on your face when you smiled and the way your eyes widens when you discovered something new.

“Have you seen that fish?” you pointed at it. “It’s beautiful.”

“Yes, it is beautiful.” He wasn't talking about the fish.

You’re my first choice, he thought, You always have been.

[sweet-slut]

Hello! Was curious to ask about whether it's possible to write for an advice, but since the recent post came up not long ago, I assume that it is,,

First of all, wanted to say that I absolutely adore your blog! don't let any negativity try to spread itself to ya.

And as for my question.. I've been wondering, where or how did you guys met? You make such a sweet couple!!! Due to some events from my life, I've been rather lonely and can't help but notice that my mind occasionally slips to the thought, whenever I would have a loved one or am I being too late with that kind of stuff.

I know it doesn't work like that on a snap of a finger, but I keep getting a bit sad and worried,,, would like to listen your opinion. Also sorry for a long text–

Heyyyy 🩷🩷🩷🩷

Absolutely 🩷 I love to help when I can 🩷

And thank you so very much 🥹🩷

No need to be sorry I like long messages 🩷 you put time and energy into it 🩷 thank you for that 🩷

Im 100% certain it’s never „too late“ it took me some years before I met him andddd im not telling anyone to use Tumblr as a dating app because god it’s not but I did meet him on here 🩷

We’ve been friends for some time before he told me he loves me and wants to be with me 🩷

There is a lot of luck involved into us actually living so close to each other and of course luck that he’s not some weirdo 🩷 and a lot of work too 🩷

Being lonely is something that I know the feeling of 🩷 and I always felt like I’m being annoying because of people who told me that just because I’m bubbly and always super excited…he never ever gave me that feeling and he actually enjoys how I am and how much I talk 🩷

Im grateful that we had friendship first because I think it’s an amazing base to have and build the relationship with that 🩷

Soooo yeah he just texted me here and over a year later I’m the happiest girl on earth and waiting for something hehehe (💍) hehehe (just teasing him with it) 🩷

And he’s also the first one I fell in love with…and my first boyfriend 👉🏻👈🏻 he got a lot of my firsts hehe saying that because I’m 22 and just found the one…I don’t believe in too late…especially since he’s a lot older than I am so heeeee needed to wait for me too 🩷

I would say just be patient and get out of comfort zones because that’s what I needed to do 🩷 because I honestly think you meet the right one when you least expect it and challenge yourself 🩷

I hope it helped a little 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

[strniohoeee]

Dolor Pt. 2

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N hasn’t seen Chris in a year and a half, but with the help of her friend she’s surprised by them🤭 Will those feelings still be there for one another?

Warnings⚠️: None, I’m not too sure how I feel about this one, but I had no other idea on how to write it so I hope y’all enjoy 🙃

Song for the imagine: ANGEL- Brent Faiyaz

Read part 1 here🫶🏽

Don’t ever leave my side, baby I’ll die

But from what I know, you’re always here to stay

You’re an angel in disguise

It has been a solid year and half since Chris and I broke up, a solid year and half of never seeing him or his brothers. It was very hard, but it also flew by. I wasn’t sure where a year and half went. It was honestly scary.

We both told each other we’d love to cross paths, and reconnect in a few months to be friends, but life got in the way, and that never happened. I’m honestly glad it didn’t, we were both so busy I believe it helped us move on from one another faster.

We all stood mutuals with each other on instagram and TikTok, but we just didn’t interact with each other. I watched them grow in all aspects, and it was amazing. I thought I’d be there to witness it first hand, but instead I was watching from the sidelines….it hurt me, but it had to be done.

My TikTok was flooded with videos of them from their tour they were just on, and it’s honestly crazy how much people can change in a year and a half. That didn’t even look like Chris. He was much more mature looking, sculpted cheekbones, shorter hair, stubble on his face…..Chris was looking good.

I shook that feeling off because I could not allow myself to fall back in love with Chris. It took me a long time to move on from him. I will always love the kid, but to fall out of love was hard. I hadn’t seen or talked to any other guys since splitting with Chris, and I wasn’t too sure if that was the same with him. Deep down I hoped it was.

I was scrolling on TikTok one day when I saw a clip of the triplets from their recent podcast video, they were doing a Q and A video, and somehow Chris pulled out a question asking about me. I decided to watch the video

“Okay so this person says how’s Y/N, and how have you been since the breakup. I’m currently going through my own break up right now, and I just need some advice” Chris read out

“So uh this is a good question. It’s been a year and a half since I’ve last seen Y/N, and it’s crazy to say it’s been that long, but it has. With the relationship we had and how special it was it took me a full year to finally be able to feel okay, and understand why we split up. It hurt and some part of me still hurts, but we told each other the night we broke up that we both will be okay because we’re strong, and that’s something I’ve been holding on to. I presume that she’s okay, I’ve seen her instagram posts and her TikTok’s, and she looks amazing. I actually really miss the girl. So I hope she’s doing great, and for you going through your break up just know everything happens for a reason and you’ll be okay take your time and work on yourself” he said

Oh god this was making it so hard for me not to call Chris and ask to see him….I missed him so badly

I scrolled some more and another clip popped up

“This person wants to know do you still love Y/N” Nick asked Chris

“Oh 100% that woman is my everything. Like we’ve said in the past we hope to cross paths again” Chris said nodding his head

This has to be a sign? Like this has to be a sign that I have to see him, that Chris and I are meant for each other right? Or am I being delusional……

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to call him, text him or just ignore all this and keep it pushing in life. I felt torn between my decisions

Today I was getting ready to film with Larray and Arrington. I had gotten so close to them within the last year, and we always filmed together. Larray was my biggest supporter in all this, and he was also friends with the triplets which kind of made it hard, but he never got in between anything. Although he hoped and prayed that we’d get back together one day I always told him time will tell.

He had an idea where we all stay in his car for 24 hours with special guests. I wasn’t sure who these guests were, and I wasn’t sure why he wanted us to stay in a car for 24 hours, but I agreed I knew it would be fun.

I had driven over to Larrays house, and let myself in

“YOOOOO” I yelled from the door

“Were in hereeee” Arrington yelled back

Oh god I was the last one here….I hated this, but anyways I walked to Larrays room, and when I walked in my heart sank

“Oh” was all I said as I walked in

“Hiiiii baby” Larray said, causing everybody to turn around with him the triplets face dropping

“What’s? Uh….whats going on” I said looking at Larray

“We’re filming a video, and I brought my friends” he said back

“It’s been so long” Chris said looking at me saddened

“It ummm it has” I said smiling at him

“We have missed you so fucking much….holy shit” Nick said running over and hugging me

“Uhh it’s been so fucking long I missed yall too” I said hugging him

“Matt you look so different now” I said jaw dropping and giving him a hug

“Good different I hope” he said hugging me

“Of course good different” I said laughing at him

I moved to Chris

“You look so different too” I said pulling him in for a hug

“I’ve missed you” he said hugging me tighter

“Missed you too” I said pulling away

After chatting for a bit Larray decided to film his introduction for his channel

“Alright bitches we are filming a 24 hour car video today, and of course I had to bring in my ride or dies Arrington and Y/N” he said and both Arrington and I made an entrance

“And then you know Larray had to stir the pot, so he brought the triplets” Arrington said to the camera causing us to laugh

“As uhhh most of you know there’s uh an elephant in this room between uh two people, but ummm we won’t talk about it” Larray said

And we just laughed at him

“You are so messy” I said to him rolling my eyes playfully

“Alright let’s get to the car bitches” he said and we ran out

I sat in the passenger seat, Chris and Arrington in the back, and then Nick and Matt in the third row

“Alright so right now we’re driving to Target which is 45 minutes away because Larray decided to do this video during rush hour” I said to the camera

“Uh- is that a drag?” He asked me

“It sure is” I said to him

“So Y/N….you said Matt looks different….you already had Chris so will you try another brother” Arrington asked me

I looked back at him jaw on the floor, as Chris and his brothers were laughing

“You weirdo Arrington, I will not fucking get with Matt” I said shaking my head

“Could you believe this kid” I said looking at the camera

“Ouuuu the fans want to know how many boyfriends since Chris” Larray asked me

“Boyfriends plural? Do they think I’m a slut….its only been a year and a half guys, and there’s been zero guys since Chris” I said shrugging my shoulders

“OHHHHHH CHRISSSS” Larray and Arrington yelled at him hyping him up

“She loves me too much to do that” Chris said to the camera

“Uh-“ I said turning around to look at him

“I’m just kidding” he said and touched my face playfully

“SAW THAT” Nick and Matt yelled from the back

We had finally gotten to Target, and Chris and I were paired up to go on the hunt for some things, and we had to vlog it together

“Alright guys I’m here with uh….my ex” I said to the camera

“What a great reunion” he said looking at the camera

“Who would’ve thought a year and a half later we’d be in Target shopping for a video together” I said looking at him

“I honestly thought it would’ve happened sooner, but I mean hey” he said shrugging his shoulders

“Oh whatever” I said rolling my eyes at him

Him and I were doing some shopping and grabbing some stuff, and we had found ourselves in the coloring book aisle

“Look the Disney coloring book, your favorite” he said leaning down to grab it

“You remembered?” I asked him

“Of course I did, and you only get specific coloring pencils cause you’re weird” he said laughing

“Hey don’t be mean” I said laughing at him

“It’s cute” he said smiling at me

“Do you ever think about us?” I asked him

“Pretty often actually” he said looking at me

“Do you think you see a future with me” I asked him

“I’ve thought about this a lot, and every time I picture my future you’re a main character in it” he said looking into my eyes

“This year and a half has been rough, and I so badly wanted nothing more than to cave and call you over, and just hold you tight” I said looking down

“I sat in my room for so many nights wondering if the decision I made was right, and after a while I just became numb to the feeling, but I want this again….I want us” he said

“I think we should start slow first. I want us to truly work out this time no break ups no nothing” I said to him

“I think so too, you should come film with us again we miss you so much, and the fans miss you too” he said

“I’ve seen…all over my tik tok” I said smiling at him

“Yeah they love you and I love you too so much” he said pulling me in for a hug

We finished vlogging some, and headed back to the car with everybody getting back in our original seats

“Okay everybody we are back, we’re going to go eat something and then we’ll be back in the car for the next 24 hours” Larray said

After we ate we went back into Larrays car trying to stick out this challenge and just chatting with each other asking each other questions

“How many girlfriends since Y/N?” Larray asked Chris

“None. I told yall she’s the love of my life” he said looking at the camera

“Awww Chris” I said looking at him

“HEY CITY GIRLS UP. Do not fall for this” Arrington said

“Shut the fuck up” I said laughing at him

“What’s one regret you have” Nick asked us

“I think my biggest regret was completely dropping you guys out of my life. Like no interactions no nothing that hurt the most” I said to them

“We appreciate that” Matt said

“How do you guys feel after seeing each other” Matt asked Chris and I

“Is this a hot seat? What are we doing” Chris said

“Shut the fuck up and answer” Nick said

“I feel at peace, like seeing him was the last piece to my puzzle. I still love Chris of course, and we’re hoping to take things slow, and eventually get together again” I said to them

“Yeah. I love her so much, and seeing her today brought back all those memories. Memories that made my heart flutter, and I knew I couldn’t let her go again” he said looking at me

“Yall cute as shit this has got to stop” Larray said

“So yall heard it here first they are back together” Arrington said to the camera

“WOAH WOAH NO” we both said putting our hands out

“We are taking it slow…we are not dating yet, and trust me you guys will know when we’re back together. It’s a maybe for right now” I said to the camera

“But she will be in our videos again” Chris said

“SHE WILL?” Nick and Matt said

“Yes she will!” He said to them

“FUCK YES FINALLY” Nick said getting excited

We had chatted for a good thirty more minutes before we decided this challenge was not going to happen

“Alright guys we did not make it, but we love you and we’re heading inside now” Larray said

“BYEEEEEE” we all yelled to the camera, Chris pulling me in and kissing my forehead

“Are you guys going to soft launch your comeback before I post this?” Larray asked us

“You know that’s not a bad idea actually” I said looking at Chris

“We could do that. I’d love to do that” he said pulling me in and kissing my cheek

“Yall soft launching but he smoochin on you” Matt said looking at us

“Uhhhh mind your business” Chris said sticking his tongue out at him

“OMG to keep it like private you guys could do like a couples shadow picture” Nick said

“Waittttt I love that let’s do it” I said to Chris

We had snapped the picture, and Chris posted it collabing with me once again so I can post and share it. Nick and Matt also shared it to their story saying the gangs back together and they can’t wait to film with me again. Immediately the love we got was INSANE

❤️nicolassturniolo,matthew.sturniolo,larray, and 450,000 others

christophersturniolo: I told you guys we’d always always find a way back to one another. Although we aren’t dating again we will be thinking about it for our future. I love this girl with my whole fucking heart, and I’m so glad we’re in each others lives again. She was my right person at the wrong time.My number one girl💍. Were back BITCHESSSSS🥳

Sturnioloteam: STFU THEYRE BACK

arringtonallen: mhmmm I was here for this picture so back off everyone

nicolassturniolo: mama and papa🫡

matthew.sturniolo: yall cute or whatever…..

larray: yall can thank me for this reunion MHMM💅🏽

Y/Nusername: my number one guy…love this kid so much💋

sturnioloooooo: I knew mom and dad would find each other again

The immense love we received was insane. Had you told me a year and a half ago today that all that pain would be gone, and we would find each other again I would laugh in your face. I guess I am making it to the end of his story….🥀

The End

I hope you guys liked this one I feel ehhh about it, but I had to have a happy ending🥹 but anywho let me get to writing some more 🖤

-J💅🏽

[prstmmprhdl]

Questions game time~

I was tagged twice by @c-schroed and @6wings-manyeyes so who am I to say no?

So…

1. Three ships

1) trigun policule. like, yeah, Vash/Wolfwood is THE ship, because TRAGEDY, but also whenever I think of them Meryl is also there (because she CALLS him and he COMES BACK). And where Meryl goes Milly appears (they are inseparable I don’t make the rules). So… they can be just friends, they can be in love, not all of them survive, most of the time the whole affair ends up with Vash x graves but. that’s the road I chose to walk.

2) Bubbline aka Marceline the Vampire Queen and Princess Bubblegum from adventure time. I just love them so much they are always somewhere in the background it seems.

3) Momo x Okarun. I love Dandadan it’s crazy cute (but beware there are trigger warnings).

2. First Ship

Candy and Terry from Candy Candy, I think. Oh the drama.

I really liked Seya and Usagi from Sailor Moon too, but I think this one was later.

3. Last song.

My chemical romance house of wolves (my tastes in music haven’t changed one bit since 2009)

4. Last movie

Hayao Miyazaki and the bird. Oh my good. I knew this one will be depressing and it sure was. Well, no, not depressing, but profoundly sad. We all “joke” about Vash or Doctor Who or any vampire character living too long and seing they loved one die. And here there are people actually living through it. And in this case a person who has created things that affected so so many people around the world he does feel like the Doctor actually. But also there are funny Ibsen scenes and some hella exploitationsl but very pretty cuts between life and Ghibli cartoons.

I was actually presenting the movie in the cinema and well… it was hard to talk about. A whirlpool of emotions.

5. Currently reading.

Memoirs of polar bear by Yoko Tawada. It’s so very Night Valish I want to reopen our online bookclub and talk about it with someone! I actually kinda do as we’ve started a project with friends: annotate the book while reading and then exchange them. It sounds fun. I hope it will be.

Oh. And Dandadan. I’ve been reading it in ongoing mode for 2 years already I think.

6. Currently watching.

Dandadan (holy molly it’s amazing. I ADORE Trigun Stampede for doing their crazy shenanigans with the manga… but also oh my lord h my, what if there was an adaptation THIS close to original and THIS creative with visuals and sound and everything. Science Saru is the best. Just the best… speaking of them though the have their own TriStamp in Devilman Crybaby which is also just the best. Ugh. I digress).

NegaPozi Angler (I love slice of life!)

Orb: about the movement of Earth (holy mother of god. THIS! I want to write about it so much. it horribly hurts me, a person, to afraid to do anything rebellious for he cause I believe in, but it is also something a good piece of art should do I think. “Having read a book won’t make executioner from firing a bullet, but it’ll make them linger for a bit and sometimes this also matters” - or at least that’s how I make my consciousness die…)

Kobayashi-san’s dragon main (ughm that’s rough tbh. On one hand I love the designed, the cuteness, the slice of life vibe and the art style. also it just lets me switch off. but oh god why is it cute one sec and the next - a giggly boobs / lolic*n trash)

7. Currently ate

Muffins my friend made while we were talking about Arcane and Trigun <3

8. Currently craving

Willpower to finish my first ever fic ( >___>) (I’m writing about is so that it was too shameful to justgive up).

Tagging… @eshtaresht if they don’t mind? I just don’t have a lot of mutual here actually…

UPD: it feels like I am and have always been some crazy anime fan… which is so far from true, lol. I only occasionally saw stuff like Rurouni Kenshin on tv in 00s. Then there was a show or two a year in 10s. And I have only become an avid watcher 3-4 years ago.