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brimstvnehqs · 3 years ago

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So after a long hiatus away from writing I’ve decided to come back and I’m looking for some more rp partners for discord! You can find my rules HERE and my WID page HERE. Or if you’re mobile then they are both on the pinned post on my blog.

Right now I am looking for some OC ships and below I have posted some plots that I would like to do. However I am not limited to these and I’m happy to discuss other plots if you have something you want to do, or if these plots just don’t do it for you but you still think we’re a good match! Please note that genders in these plots aren’t set in stone and can be switched up as either mxf or fxf!

If you’re interested in please do either IM me or simply like this post and I’ll come to you!

BURLESQUE: Kinda based on the movie. So either good girl moves to new city and gets a job in a burlesque club, where the bad boy already works as a waiter. He helps her to fit in and the rest is history. Or good guy moves to new city and gets a job as a waiter in a burlesque club where a femme fatale works as a dancer.

OPPOSITES ATTRACT: Muse a is a rich, successful person who lives in a mansion in a gated community and seems to have it all with their child. Muse b is living pay check to pay check in a one bedroom apartment downtown, who has given up hope on furthering their career. Muse b takes a job in Muse a’s home and they hit it off but not without obstacles on the way. Muse a gives Muse b the motivation to work on their career and Muse b shows Muse a there’s more to life then work.

PARTNERS IN CRIME: Both are monster/demon hunters, forced to work together and neither are happy about it. They constantly bicker and blame each other for everything, until maybe day it causes them to mess up and one gets seriously hurt (maybe even turned into a vampire or werewolf.) After that things change and they slowly the hate turns into love.

BAD HABITS: Very vague plot but just give me two people who are friends with benefits and even though they keep saying that’s the last time, they still go back to one another. They made a deal that feelings wouldn’t get in the way, until one becomes involved with someone else.

INTO YOU: Based on Ariana Grande’s Into You music video, Muse a’s a superstar, her life isn’t her own and she’s plunged into the limelight. She’s in a PR relationship with a jerk who’s only using her for his own clout but her manager won’t let her leave. Muse b’s her bodyguard and one of the only people who treats her like a normal person. They start up a secret relationship, always sneaking off together and falling madly in love with each other. They want to go public, but he knows he would lose his job and the scandal could really effect her career.

DIFFERENT WORLDS: The typical one’s a vampire and one’s a werewolf, think Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. She’s the vampire princess, living the easy life in the darkness. He’s a werewolf solider, created and trained to kill every last vampire since the war started thousands of years ago. His next target? The vampire princess. But what happens when he comes face to face with her and imprints on her? We could even do this but gender swap. Also bonus points if they’re based on more traditional style vampires and werewolves, maybe like Underworld.

MR AND MRS SMITH: I want to do a plot after the movie, maybe they’re on the run and just trying to survive together. We can just create our own OCs if preferred but still keep the plot of the movie.

PART OF YOUR WORLD: Another brief one, but I would love to do a plot with a mermaid fascinated with the human world and befriends a human who at first doesn’t know who they really are. Give me cute moments of the mermaid learning human things and the angst of knowing they can’t be together but trying to find a way. Basically the Little Mermaid but our own modern day version.

ONCE UPON A DECEMBER: Heavily inspired by Anastasia, it can be set in modern day or in the past. One helping the other to try and remember who they are, but we can decide if they’re royalty or not.

FAME: Muse a is a famous star, used to living in the limelight and dealing with the media, fans and everyone knowing their business. Muse b is just an ordinary person, who just so happens to be dating Muse a. Just a cute but angsty plot of Muse b trying to come to terms with now having their life plastered over the internet and everyone having an opinion on them.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: tw: crime, prison, drugs, alcohol. Muse a has had a bad life, getting into the wrong crowd at a young age and turning to drugs and alcohol. At 18 they are arrested and put in prison for armed robbery. Muse b is a do gooder, glass is half full and can never do no wrong kind of person, who volunteers at the local prison to talk to the inmates and to listen when needed. This is where muse a and muse b meet. Muse b helps muse a find the motivation to change their life once they get out. Now that muse a is out of prison they go to find muse b to carry on the friendship and for help as they try to get settled in a normal life away from crime. The friendship quickly turns into romance but what happens when muse a’s past comes to haunt them and old friends try to get them back into a life of crime?

#discord 1x1 #discord rp #oc rp #1x1 rp #1x1 roleplay #plot bunnies #1x1 rper #discord roleplay

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random-mha-thoughts · 5 years ago

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Clingy (Todoroki x Reader)

Pairing: Todoroki x Reader

Anon asked: “Hey! I know you're really busy rn and I couldn't bring myself to ask you directly.. (and you don't have to do this so soon! Only do it if you have spare time. ^^) but can I have a short(or long) todoroki x reader? Uhhh, I was thinking of Shouto asking his s/o for kisses, being needy, clingy and stuff. :3 just some fluff. Saying things like "Just kiss me already."”

Genre: Fluff/spice

Word count: 1,241

Tags: @yuki-osaki @liviitehe @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog @bunnythepipsqueak

a/n: I 👏🏼 have 👏🏼 been 👏🏼 DYING 👏🏼 to 👏🏼 write 👏🏼 this 👏🏼 I've been neglecting my baby for too long, my simp heart was shriveling up. I was originally picturing this because I was lonely, but this turned out more spicy because I’m having cramps and I needed to relieve them 🙃 I might end up redoing this request in a more fluffy light if I have time.

I probably won't be too active until the end of the week because of my finals, I'll finish the rest of my huge pile of requests then! Please wait for my next post patiently, I’ll try to still be active with ask box games and stuff so we can still chat hopefully! Wish me luck and enjoy!

"I don't know what's up with Shouto today, he's acting...different," I admit to Ojirou uneasily. "Do you think there're something up with him?"

"Not really," the boy shrugs. "At least, nothing I know of."

My loving boyfriend suddenly woke up this morning and became more loving than usual. I'm not one to complain since I'm way more of the needy type, but it's strange for the dynamic to be suddenly switched. When he knocked on my door to walk to school this morning, I barely even opened the door the entire way before he grabbed my shoulders and placed a long good morning kiss on my lips. I was shocked to say the least, but he carried on like it was normal, so I didn't ask about it.

On our way to the classroom building, Shouto entwined our hands together before wrapping an arm around my shoulders and occasionally peppering a kiss or two on my face randomly. He didn't even leave my desk while I was talking to my friends until Aizawa came in. Before going back to his own seat, he took my hand again and kissed it, leaving me both warm and confused at the same time.

Oh no, did I forget our anniversary or something?! was my first thought, but after checking my phone calendar, I realized we never really celebrated monthly anniversaries anyway.

All throughout class, I felt his eyes on me from behind. I just couldn't figure out what was so special about today. A few passing thoughts blamed me for being a selfish and stupid partner; I only insist on taking all the love and attention in our relationship, but I don't give anything back or remember the things that matter.

It's only in this moment before lunch and Shouto going to the bathroom that I have to breathe and confide in Ojirou.

"Maybe he just got up on the right side of the bed today, he's just in a really good mood," my tailed friend suggests.

"But he hasn't been smiley, he's just been clingy." I can't stop the heat from reaching my ears as I recall his touch and his lips on my skin. "I'm kind of being spoiled today. I can't say I don't enjoy it, but I wanna know what brought this on."

"I wouldn't worry too much about it," Ojirou waves it off with his adoring smile. "I'm sure only good things could have caused it."

"You're probably right," I agree, letting myself relax though I know I'll address it later. We continue talking about class from today as we walk to the cafeteria, I had to ask him to go over some things from class that I didn't get.

Suddenly, a familiar warm arm secures itself around my waist. Shouto somewhat roughly pulls me into his body. "You didn't wait for me?" he asks low in my ear, just slightly hurt.

The vibrations course through me in waves from head to toe. "I thought you would just meet me there."

His other arm joins the other so he's standing behind me now, practically capturing me. "I wanted to walk together." He traces his nose from the side of my face down to nuzzle my neck. "Let's eat lunch together somewhere else."

"But Midoriya's probably waiting for us-"

"He'll understand." His voices come out with a slight edge as his arms constrict around me tighter.

"Um..." Shouto and my head snap up to face my poor abandoned friend, his face red with secondhand embarrassment like he's intruding on something. He flinches briefly as he catches Shouto's gaze. "I'll leave you guys to talk, and I'll catch Midoriya up. See you, (Y/n)."

"Thanks again for the help, Ojirou," I wave to him as he walks off quickly.

Before I can turn on Shouto, he's already placed a kiss on my tragus to freeze me up, grabbing my hand and practically dragging me down the hallway into our empty classroom. The lights are off and the door echoes when it's slammed shut by my body being pinned to it, heterochromatic eyes boring into me.

"Shouto-"

His warm breath puffing onto my skin stops me. "I wanted to be with you today, alone. I want to be selfish and keep you to myself today, but I feel like you've been rejecting me."

I raise an eyebrow as a cold hand cups my cheek. "I'm not rejecting you, I'm just confused why you're acting like this."

His lips brush just an inch shy of the corner of mine. He's keeping both of us on edge. "Enough talking, just kiss me already."

I can't get a word in before Shouto completely devours me. He doesn't start off slow at all, going straight to high-passion kisses. His chest presses against me against the door, his knee leaning between my legs. I'm swallowed up by his intensity, following along with his movements, clinging onto his back as I'm taken for a ride. The heat between us grows as our lips dance together, his fingers tracing down my sides and I can feel his searing touch through my uniform shirt material.

My head spins as his mouth trails open-mouth kisses down my jaw to the base of my neck. Through the waves of electricity, I try again. "Shouto, what's-" I sigh when he reaches the sensitive spot right at the center of my collarbone, making me grab his hair, "What's gotten into you today?" He continues caressing that spot eliciting another gasp from me before I tug his head back for me to breathe. "T-This isn't like you."

His impassioned gaze nails me before he calms down, taking a breather himself and leaning his forehead on my shoulder. "I...had a dream last night. You left me for someone else because I wasn't paying enough attention to you. I was being too cold. I was scared I'd been neglecting you this whole time and you didn't say anything."

My heart sinks at the hurt in his voice. I encircle him with one of my arms and stroke his head with the one already tangled in his locks. "I wouldn't do that to you. You haven't been neglecting me at all, even before today. I know you have a hard time expressing yourself, but you show it in other ways."

Shouto picks his head back up and plants a soft kiss on my cheek. "I still think I need to give you more affection, love. You deserve all of what I'd give you." His peppers more light kisses up my temple to my forehead.

I chuckle at his gesture. "I guess I can be too needy. You don't have to worry, as long as you satisfy me when I ask for it, I'll be happy."

He travels down the bridge of my nose to peck the very tip. "I apologize for acting childish today, I was being disruptive and I made you worry."

My arms snake around his neck. "It was an unexpected change of pace, and fun considering we ended up in an empty room. I like this side of you."

Shouto lets out a dark chuckle and presses his body into me again. "Are you asking for this to become a habit, baby?"

"Mmm, not a habit, but every once in a while would be a nice surprise."

He captures my lips with a last lingering kiss. "Be prepared for me to ravage you someday then."

#todoroki x reader #todoroki fluff #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #todoroki shouto #todoroki imagine #todoroki scenario #spice #gender neutral reader #request #mha todoroki #bnha todoroki #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction

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bondsmagii · 4 years ago

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In 4th or 5th grade, something strange happened to me that put me off any form of meditation or possibly opening my mind to the otherworldly. Probably 5th grade, since I was still living with the side effects when I transferred to a public school. Now my elementary school was Nursery to 8th. It was a private school - naturally we went to the church on the property every week to pray for a full learning period.

It happened during one of those moments when the priest asks for a moment of silence to pray and we all focus and pray. At that point I was a child who very much believed in following directions (especially since I'd get beaten up at home otherwise). So he said pray/moment of silence and I squeezed my little hands together, closed my eyes shut, and prayed wordlessly with all my might.

After a couple of seconds of praying, my head fell to my left shoulder all of a sudden, with my ear pressed against my shoulder for all it was worth. I felt this really overwhelming, strange, and powerful energy. It was TOO much. I snapped out of it in a second that felt like way too long, my face sweaty all of a sudden. I felt like I had a really forbidden interaction.

I became convinced the Catholic Church was a cult and by all means I would never pray as hard as I did that minute ever again. I proceeded to become ungovernable - spoke back to my teachers, never handed in my homework, much less my religion homework. I went from the best student in my class to a rebellious child. When I went to public school, in the first year I still used to walk around with my head slightly tilted toward my left shoulder out of habit or rememberance from that event. Kids would ask me why and I would simply say it was more comfortable like that.

Anyway when eat pray love came out and we were forced to read it for required summer reading or something in high school I found out this middle aged white hippie woman traveled to India to have this exact same religious experience I had as a 9 year old chinese girl at a roman catholic church in the middle of brooklyn that scared everything out of me. She gave me courage to talk about it with a friend. Still really weird. Her experience is in chapter 45 in that book, last paragraph.

I was never going to share this but I kept seeing the pinned every time I check your blog. Pls overlook typos as it is 4 am when I'm writing this.

that is so strange, wow. I've never actually heard of anything like this before and honestly that's kind of creepy but also I mean... as a lapsed heretical Catholic myself you weren't entirely wrong lol. this is definitely the kind of thing that would have got everyone believing you were possessed by a demon back in the day (and maybe also even in this day, if you get the right kind of fanatic).

honestly, I'd be inclined to say that maybe it was a result of something you's overheard in regards to the cult thing, combined with some weird vertigo or something like that (big buildings like churches tend to have that effect sometimes, if the one you were in was indeed big) but the fact that this has happened in a near identical fashion to someone else? that's pretty interesting. I wonder if there are other people out there with similar experiences? not to mention that's a very young age to have the Heretical Epiphany, so there might be something to it.

honestly, messages like this are why I keep that post pinned. this is the fascinating stuff you don't hear about otherwise.

#statements #long post #anon #asks

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limjaeseven · 4 years ago

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Dandelions

Pairing: Yugyeom X Youngjae

Genre: Fluff, Smut

Word Count: 4,199

Summary: Flowers meant to a lot to Yugyeom, Youngjae made them special to him.

Warnings: Weird pacing, lingerie, implied smut, Yugjae being absolute cuties, cursing, mention of an emotional breakdown

Prompt(s): School is hard. It is less hard when you have someone to help out.

[a/n]: This fic is part of @got7writerscollective‘s The Virgo Project. Applications for the net are open so check the pinned post of the blog if you wish to join the network

The wind was blowing in Yugyeom's face as he made his ways up the Arts buildings's steps on a warm spring afternoon. Making his way to the dance studio at the end off the hall, the ravenette passed the music room to hear the most beautiful voice he'd ever heard.

Yugyeom froze in place as he processed the sound that flooded his ears. The soft melody of a piano accompanied the words as they made their way out of the room to Yugyeom. The voice, full and unimaginably warm, filled Yugyeom's body with such hope that his heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest. Turning quietly in the direction of the room, he peeked into the music room.

The softest brown hair, the prettiest heart shaped smile, the finest fingers, the brightest eyes that Yugyeom had ever seen filled his senses as he stared at the boy sitting in front of the grand piano in the music room. His forehead clear of worry as he looked down as the sheet in front of him and played the instrument with expertise made Yugyeom mesmerised.

But the ravenette was soon pulled out of his haze as the music abruptly stopped. He looked up to see the boy looking back at him, his eyes blown wide, almost as if he was a scared. Yugyeom composed himself and cleared his throat awkwardly, reaching one hand up the scratch at the back of his neck.

"Do you always sneak around to creepily watch people?" The boy at the keyboard broke the silence first, his comment making Yugyeom's ears redden.

"You sing really well, I was just heading to the dance studio and stopped to listen" Yugyeom tried hard not to stutter but it was hard with the most beautiful man he had ever seen in his life in front of him. The man stood up to walk to Yugyeom, stopping in front of him and extending his hand.

"Choi Youngjae" Yugyeom hesitantly took the man's hand, smiling back brightly as he slowly felt himself relax into the touch. He introduced himself before remembering that he was running late for class. Shouting a small apology, the ravenette ran across the hall to enter the practise room just in time.

When he finishes, the music room is empty, save for a small note pasted on the piano lid. Yugyeom saw his name written in a pretty handwriting on the front as he peeled the small bit of tape carefully.

Choi Youngjae had left his number for Yugyeom to find, hoping he would come back to search for him. The younger felt his heart skip a beat when he saw Youngjae's number and 'go on a date with me?' scrawled cutely on the piece of paper.

Yugyeom ended up staring at the piece of paper for hours before he could muster up the courage to actually text Youngjae. He retyped the message a million times before settling on 'hey it's Yugyeom' before sending it and throwing his phone across the bed so that he wouldn't stress over the boy replying.

After forcing himself to wash the dishes that had been piling up in the sink of the apartment Yugyeom shared with his childhood best friend Bambam, he finally heard the notification bell of his phone go off, and Yugyeom would never admit it but he almost leapt over his bed to grab his phone and see if the brunette had replied.

The conversation started slow at first, going over the basic 'what's up's and 'how's life's, but soon both boys realised they had a lot more in common than they had originally expected. From their love of music to their weird obsession with MasterChef, the two boys ended up spending an hour texting before Youngjae called Yugyeom on the phone.

Yugyeom almost had a mini heart attack as he felt his phone vibrate in his hands, Youngjae's contact popping up on the screen. The younger mumbled a shy hello which was met with bubbling laughter from Youngjae's end who didn't hide the fact that he found Yugyeom cute, much to the younger's dismay, who wanted to portray a more "sexy" appearance, not so different from that of his cousin's boyfriend Jaebeom.

After hours of talking about seemingly everything but at the same time what felt like absolutely nothing, Yugyeom looked at his window to see the first rays of the sun peak through his sheer curtains, signaling dawn. Fortunately for both the young men, they had their day off so they bid each other good night, or rather morning with the promise of meeting for lunch at a local restaurant. When enquired if it was meant to be a date, Youngjae merely chuckled and told the younger to get some sleep.

Not more than six hours later, Yugyeom was up on his feet, walking impatiently across the small flat, much to Bambam's dismay, who usually slept till late afternoon on off days. The ravenette spent an ungodly amount of time trying to pick an outfit and in the end settled for a pair of black skinny jeans that really accentuated his long dancer legs, a black and white checkered shirt and a pair of lace up boots that he may or may not have stolen from Bambam's closet.

The anticipation led him to reach the restaurant ten minutes before the time they had agreed to meet up, so he took the liberty of picking a table for him, distracting himself for just a few moments. Yugyeom selected a small table next to a large floor to ceiling window which let the sunlight fill the room with an almost angelic feeling, similar to how he felt when he first met Youngjae.

The older man arrived five minutes late and proceeded to apologise profusely for his tardiness to which Yugyeom just laughed at his cuteness and signalled the waiter to their table. After catching Youngjae trying to pick the cheapest thing on the menu, Yugyeom insisted that the older pick what he really liked, and that the ravenette would pay for the meal, for it was a date after all.

The comment caught Youngjae off guard, which gave Yugyeom enough time to figure out what Youngjae had originally wanted to order and asked for it himself. The elder slapped the boy's arm which just made both of them laugh out loud, a bit misplaced in the slightly posh environment but Yugyeom absolutely loved it.

"I never said it was a date," Said Youngjae with an adorable pout, making the butterflies and the sudden urge to kiss the elder resurface in him.

"Well I'm saying it is, any objections?" To which Youngjae didn't say anything because he knew he was just playing around with the younger. Their food arrived in the midst of their conversation about the best seasons of MasterChef America and it was eaten and plates taken away without the two men ever realising, their eyes locked onto each other.

Yugyeom did end up paying for the meal, not that he really minded, being lucky enough to come from a well off family with parents who gave him generous allowances. Youngjae on the other hand came from a small village, where his family worked as farmers and couldn't pay for his college tuition so Youngjae had to earn his scholarship on his own, making him very careful about money.

Yugyeom and Youngjae's relationship bloomed in the summer of the year that they met, first becoming inseparable friends before the love dyed itself into the fabric of their relationship. They learned small things about each other along the way, like how Youngjae loved to sing while doing almost anything, his brows furrowed in concentration as his lips formed the words of the song.

Youngjae on the other hand learned about his boyfriend's love for flowers, noticing it first with the four flower vases in the man's house. He made it a habit to buy his boyfriend a singe flower every day, a gesture that Yugyeom blushed at profusely the first time but grew to love, anticipating the type of flower he would receive every coming day.

On their third month anniversary, one that Yugyeom found rather unnecessary to celebrate, Youngjae took the man on a date which entailed driving for almost two hours, much to Yugyeom's dismay, who was dying of anticipation since he had no idea where his boyfriend was taking him. After jamming to rather suggestive music that Yugyeom seemed to have an obsession with, they arrived at their destination, which was more like an empty road on the countryside but Youngjae said they had reached so Yugyeom got out of the car.

In front of the ravenette was acres of yellow flowers that never seemed to end. As far his eyes could see, small, bright bursts of sunlight sat on top of the greenery, making the place look almost as if it was a picture of heaven, not the earth that Yugyeom inhabited. Youngjae laced his fingers with his boyfriend's and led him through the small gaps between the massive patches of flowers to a clearing somewhere in the middle, far away from civilization and surrounded by nature.

In the clearing was a red checkered blanket and a basket full of Yugyeom's favourite food, including an iced choco which was suspiciously cold. Both of them settled on the ground, enjoying the environment around them, the bright sun and quiet atmosphere having its own charm.

"Dandelions," Youngjae said "I've read somewhere that dandelions signify wishes and having them fulfilled. I had wished when I was young to meet a person who stole my heart and cared for it, instead of breaking it. I know it's really early for us, but I have a feeling that I've gotten my wish." Yugyeom had tried to keep his composure and not act too surprised at the statement but the way he choked on his drink and his ears went red made Youngjae burst out laughing and made Yugyeom wonder if he's actually fallen in love with an angel.

Things were going great till finals season rolled around. Yugyeom's degree had required a compulsory English course and if there was one thing Yugyeom knew for sure about himself it was that he was absolutely terrible at English. Yugyeom spent hours pouring over a Korean to English dictionary and his notes but nothing made sense to him, the words floating in his mind with no meaning to hold them together.

After four days of locking himself in his bedroom and three days of not charging his phone, the sounds of someone harshly knocking on his door woke him up from the restless sleep he had fallen into on his study table.

"What is it, Bam?" Yugyeom shouted, annoyed. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, trying to get rid of the sleep that still lingered in them before harshly opening the door to see a very angry looking Youngjae, along with his cousin Jinyoung standing in front of him.

The two men pushed the door wide open and sat down on the younger's bed, looking extremely displeased at the energy bar wrappers and empty take out boxes littered amongst stacks of paper in the ravenette's room. Yugyeom looked at them guiltily, hanging his head. Jinyoung was about to say something when his phone started ringing loudly. The man gave Yugyeom a dirty look before excusing himself to pick up the call.

"What the hell is this, Yugyeom? I've been trying to contact you for days and you seemingly drop off the face of the earth. I tried to contact Bambam but he was out of town visiting his parents and I was so worried about you! I showed up here twice but you never opened the front door! I went to Jaebeom hyung as a last resort and Jinyoung hyung mentioned having a pair of keys to your apartment and I dragged him immediately to meet you. What do you think you're doing?" Youngjae, usually the sweet angel who never got mad at Yugyeom, was fuming as he shouted at his boyfriend.

Yugyeom looked at the way his boyfriend stood there, pointing a finger at him and shouting, but he didn't hear a word he said. It was as if his brain had shut off as it slowly processed what was happening. He had spent four days trying to study for his exams but he knew nothing, and it wasn't him being pessimistic, he really had no idea what the words written on the paper meant, he had no idea how he was going to make it through the paper. He couldn't fail, his parents didn't spend so much money to send him to one of the most prestigious colleges in the country for him to fail at something as simple as English.

It felt like the world came crashing around Yugyeom, all over an exam he couldn't fail if he didn't want to repeat the course next semester. It was just the fact that Yugyeom had never failed at anything in life, yes, he was from quite a privileged family but it wasn't like he didn't face any hardships in life, and for those that he did, he always worked hard and got through it and for the first time it felt like nothing would get him though this. He suddenly felt his legs give out under him as he fell to his knees, face hidden in his palms, shoulders shaking from the choked sobs that left his lips.

"....gyeom, Yugyeom, Yugyeom baby can you hear me?" Youngjae ran to his boyfriend as he saw him collapse onto the floor, kneeling in front of him and shaking him vigorously to get him back to his sense. Yugyeom snapped out of his haze as he heard Youngjae calling his name. His head shot up to look at the brunette, the tears only streaming down faster as his boyfriend pulled him in for a tight hug and he nuzzled his face in the elder's shoulder.

"It's okay, baby, it's okay" Youngjae kept chanting, rocking Yugyeom back and forth. Guilt welled in Youngjae's heart, blaming himself for getting too angry at his boyfriend. He shouldn't have shouted so loudly, he shouldn't have been so harsh, thought Youngjae. His head kept finding more reasons to blame himself for his boyfriend's current state before his train of thought broke when Jinyoung stepped in to see the two men sitting on the floor, clinging tightly onto each other.

It took awhile for Yugyeom to calm down and clear his head. Jinyoung brought him a glass of water which he chugged harshly, almost getting some of it in his windpipe. After a round of cuddling in silence, Yugyeom started feeling more like himself. Once he could speak without bursting into tears, he explained everything to the two men, half expecting them to judge him for having a breakdown over something so petty.

Much to his surprise, Youngjae just hugged him tightly, while Jinyoung opted to pet his hair and reassure that it's alright to feel stressed over his work. Yugyeom had always been someone who strived for perfection, it showed in his dancing, and sometimes when things didn't work out, he could get stressed and that was okay, Jinyoung told him.

Jaebeom showed up after a while, mainly to check on Yugyeom and pick Jinyoung up to go back home. Youngjae ran to give his friend a hug, the brunette had always considered the man to be like his own older brother, having had lived as roommates in Youngjae's freshman year of college. The elder also told Yugyeom to accept that he was stressed about the exam and work to get through it, and that he would always love and support him, regardless of what happened in the future.

Once the couple left Yugyeom's apartment, Youngjae lingered, cooking some dinner that they had on the living room couch together, sitting at either end and playing footsie while the TV played in the background, not that either of them paid any attention to it. Just as Youngjae was about to tuck Yugyeom in and leave, the younger held onto the brunette's wrist and asked him to sat, and Youngjae obliged.

"I'm sorry, gyeom, I didn't mean to shout at you, I was really worried" Yugyeom pressed his lips on to his boyfriend's instead of answering him at first, but that wasn't a good enough response to Youngjae, who proceeded to pull away, much to Yugyeom's dismay.

"What I did was pretty reckless and shitty hyung. I could have let you know that I had an exam coming up, or that I was busy. Ghosting you was wrong, I'm the one who should be sorry" Youngjae just shook his head and pressed a soft kiss to his boyfriend's forehead.

"Oh also, if you're struggling with English you could have asked me, I did the same course last semester and topped the batch" Youngjae said casually, earning a harsh slap across his arm. The elder just chuckled and pulled Yugyeom close but the ravenette was mad and so he pushed himself away from Youngjae and sat up.

"Why couldn't you have told me this earlier? I spent four days trying to figure out what a single paragraph meant!" Yugyeom slapped Youngjae's arm again when the older started laughing uncontrollably but stopped when he saw his boyfriend pout.

"You never asked, Gyeomie. This is why we talk to each other, communicate, you know? Anyways, don't worry, I'll help you pass the exam" Youngjae kept that promise well, he spent the next week tutoring Yugyeom, who was able to understand enough to pass the test just two days in. They would have finished preparing for the exam earlier but Yugyeom kept getting distracted by Youngjae's lips, by how cute they looked when he spoke English, and kept trying to steal kisses from the elder.

By the end of the week Youngjae was so frustrated of ending up in bed at the end of the evening instead of finishing Yugyeom's studies that he decided to use it to his advantage. On the day before Yugyeom's exam, Youngjae arrived at his place in a long coat tied tightly around his waist. Noticing Yugyeom's questioning gaze over the outfit since it was still warm for thick coats, Youngjae opened the tie at the front to reveal the outfit he had bought from the mall the night before.

Soft yellow fabric covered his waist and legs in the form of a pair of lacy panties, a silky garter belt and sheer thigh highs. Youngjae had paired the ensemble with a cropped top, again in Yugyeom's favourite colour, yellow. Youngjae could visibly see the way Yugyeom swallowed harshly, stepping closer to touch the elder but instead had his hands slapped away before Youngjae discarded the robe and moved to sit down at Yugyeom's desk.

"Pass your test tomorrow, and you get to fuck me in this; don't and I throw this away immediately, it would be a pity but that's the deal" Yugyeom struggled to pay attention to his studies that night but Youngjae's proposition had left the younger hungry and motivated to do well at his exam, if not just to get the opportunity to see his boyfriend come undone all dolled up in the lingerie.

Yugyeom thought he did pretty well at his test, but it turned out that he didn't just to well, he topped his batch. The ravenette, overjoyed at the result, snapped a picture of his rank and sent it to his boyfriend. He put his phone back into his pocket, not having the time to wait for a reply since he was getting late for his next class.

By the time Yugyeom was done with his classes and arrived back at his apartment he was beyond exhausted. He opened the door to see Bambam watching RuPaul's drag race. The elder shouted a hello and Yugyeom responded with a small wave before heading to his room. The scream that followed the sound of Yugyeom's bedroom door opening made Bambam rush to see what was going on, only to see Youngjae sitting on his roommates bed in lingerie.

"My eyes!" Bambam screamed, which made Yugyeom snap out of his haze. Realising that his best friend had just seen his scantily clad boyfriend, the younger pushed Bambam out of his room and locked the door before turning back to see Youngjae walking slowly towards him.

"My baby did so well, didn't he? Well I had a promise to keep so here I am. What do you think?" Youngjae twirled around to let Yugyeom get a good view of his outfit. The younger pulled his boyfriend in for a rough kiss, pulling one moan after the other from the elder.

It didn't take long for the two men to end up in bed and one intense round of sex later, the two basked in the afterglow of their orgasms, cuddling close. One traumatised Bambam aside, Yugyeom was in seventh heaven, he was doing well with his studies, he met the love of his life and sex was incredible.

Life unfortunately was not easy for either of them after that day. There were ups, but there were just as many downs in their life, in their relationship, in their studies and it was a struggle to get through the day sometimes but regardless of what happened, they were always by each other's side, helping them cross the finish line, one day at a time.

Then came a day, it was in the middle of fall, four years into their relationship, both having graduated from college and living together in their own little apartment, when a visitor dropped by their house out of nowhere.

Yugyeom opened the door, seeing a man standing in front of him, asking for Youngjae. Calling his boyfriend from his bedroom, the elder emerged to see the man at the door and freeze, his jaw dropped open. Just as Yugyeom was about to ask the man what was wrong, Youngjae ran across to hug the stranger tightly, wrapping his hands tightly around his neck and laughing loudly.

"Yugyeom, this is Younghyun, but I call him Brian. He was my childhood best friend but left Mokpo in highschool to study in Canada!" Youngjae explained excitedly while Younghyung whined about being called Brian, which apparently the man hated.

Yugyeom hated to assume things but seeing how close the two were and how much skinship they shared, Yugyeom couldn't help but feel jealous of Younghyun. The man was incredibly handsome and witty, making Youngjae burst into his iconic laugh every five minutes or so. Yugyeom could feel his blood boiling, as hard as he tried to control it.

Younghyun had made all the insecurities that Yugyeom carried in his heart, resurface. Being with Youngjae wasn't easy, the elder was sweet and well loved by all. Yugyeom had often spent hours wondering why Youngjae had chosen him out of all the people that would have killed to date the man.

Yugyeom knew he was madly in love with his boyfriend, they had confessed their true feelings towards each other six months prior but sitting there, across from his boyfriend and his best friend as they chatted happily, Yugyeom felt like he was missing something, almost like a physical sign to bound them together. They were too young to get married but Yugyeom still wanted to show Youngjae that he was going to be there forever.

So, exactly four months after the day Yugyeom had his epiphany when he met Younghyun, on the day of their fifth anniversary, Yugyeom dragged his boyfriend to the local tattoo parlor where Jaebeom worked. He begged the elder to accompany him for moral support for getting his first tattoo.

Yugyeom wanted Youngjae to be there with him but refused to reveal the design he had asked Jaebeom to draw for him till it was complete. After hours of waiting and a lot of pain, it was done, and Yugyeom loved it. He hugged Jaebeom tightly and thanked him for his wonderful work before turning to Youngjae.

The younger turned to the side to show off his rib cage which now has a beautiful flower inked on it. It was harsh and masculine with its sharp geometric style but still radiated the soft beauty that the elder associated with his boyfriend.

"Dandelions, " Yugyeom said, "You told me they have to do with having your wishes fulfilled, but they also stand for surviving through all challenges and difficulties, hyung. The last five years have been the happiest times of my life and I never want to get go of that, of you. This here, is my love for you and what you've given me, inked to my body. I love you hyung, more than you'll ever realise" Youngjae pulled the younger in for a deep kiss, tears running down his cheeks at the devotion the younger displayed for their love. It may not be perfect, but it was theirs and that made it perfect.

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getyourvitamin-bri · 6 years ago

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Super-Mega-Foxy-Awesome-Hot Klance Fic Recs!

One-Shots

Sweet Quiznak - CheckeredCloth Read if your into hurt/comfort and humor, an odd mix but this fic does it awesomely. Summary: "You're really into him," Hunk mutters, and wow, Lance's face is on fire. Hunk is killing him. "Look, read into how you like, Freud, just make sure that if I die Keith knows I totally would've mowed his ass like grass. That way, I can laugh hysterically at his emotionally-constipated expression from the afterlife." Rated Teen & Up

Love Bug Stuff - WhatTheBodyGraspsNot @whatthebodygraspsnot I’m such trash for Love Bug fics, this one in particular is stellar. Summary: Keith is bitten by an alien love bug that makes him fall in love with the first person he sees. And just guess who the heck that first person is? Rated M

Never Saw You Coming - dimpleforyourthoughts @dimpleforyourthoughts Read if you love angst, slow burn, mutual pinning, and hurt/comfort aka read if you love being put through all the feels :) Summary: Three months in space on his own would have been fine. Three months in space with Lance McClain is a whole other fucking story. Rated M

nothing’s quite as sweet - dimpleforyourthoughts There is cute cats and cute klance, need I say more? Summary: Keith is a barista who hates his job. Lance works at the cat shelter across the street. Rated Teen & Up

Muy Lindo - flipfloppandas - I’m trash for shy adorable keith and this fic delivered. Summary: In which Lance must learn how to navigate through a relationship with a Keith who is surprisingly shy, but it’s okay because Lance honestly freaking loves it. Not Rated.

implosion (the lines we cross) - pidgeotto_gunderson Some well written hard core angst if your up for it. Summary: The adrenaline is pumping through his veins - this is what he needs, what they both need. To yell and scream and hurt each other before they can mend.Fix-it fic for s7e6, imagining if Lance and Keith fought things out while they were all lost in space and it led to Lance finally spilling about his insecurities. Rated Teen & Up

Crest of White, Bow Down - 2towels @2towels I totally went “awwww” while reading this fic, its so adorable, it will definitely make you smile. Summary: “I don’t know what I need to do to prove to you that I haven’t thought about leaving, but I haven’t.”Without hesitating, Lance lifted his good hand to rest on Keith’s cheek and stroked his thumb across it, silently appreciating his pouty features as he swallowed. “Tell me every day you love me more,” He finally demanded dramatically and breathlessly, flitting his gaze down to Keith’s shoulders instead of the intensity of his eyes, “maybe that would work.”“That wouldn’t even be a challenge.” Keith said quietly.--Five times Lance is swept off his feet, and one time he falls. Rated Teen & Up

Kodachrome - HoddieMaine @joinmeinthishell , Ninke_A @collector-of-hats Wow this is such a beautiful story, its really well written, read if you love pinning and fluff. Summary: Keith has been at a loss for a while now. His job is terrible, his passion for photography has waned, and his pseudo brother has moved to some little town and keeps insisting he visit.When Keith finally does go, he ends up on a little street full of quaint shops. He intends to simply spend time with Shiro but ends up in a record store across the street. With a very attractive man, who signs instead of speaks. Rated E

Thinking ‘Bout You - BleuSarcelle @bleusarcelle, Queerklancing @queerklancing I got a cavity from the fluff in this fic :) Summary: That time Keith had a voice in his head singing and found out he had a quite unique soulmate link. Rated G

Rose-Colored Boy - melancholymango @melancholymango Read if you enjoy angsty lance, langst, & to experience all the feels. Summary: “I missed you, you know.”“Yeah?” Lance sighed, warm and giddy, clearly not absorbing how serious the words truly were. “Yeah.” Keith said, more certainty in his voice now. He reached down, hesitantly threading his fingers through Lance’s and giving his hand a squeeze. Lance tensed next to him. “I still do.”“I mean, I’m right here.”“Are you? You still seem pretty far away.” Rated Teen & Up

Blue Christmas - melancholymango I loved how keith and lance were written in this fic, its just overall super well written. Summary: The team decides to celebrate the holiday season in space as nostalgia gets the better of them, but reflecting on the past hurts Lance more than it helps and Keith doesn't have any memories to reflect on. AKA the one where Keith and Lance hate the holidays together, only to realize that they were actually celebrating all along in their own Keith and Lance way. Rated G

Multi-chapter

Not That Bad - varelsen @lvtvr Yeah this fic gave me lot of feelings, their relationship builds beautifully. Summay: “Am I really going to have to explain this to you?”“No, I’m totally fine with you shutting up right about now.” Hunk cups his hands around his mouth. “You. Are crushing. On Keith.” Or, a college AU featuring coffee shops, silly rivalries, motorcycles, arcade games, friendships, and lots of warm, fluffy feelings that are both confusing and delightful all at the same time. Rated M

Entangled - Purpleneutrino (mackerelmademedoit) @purpleneutrino I found this fic super interesting to read, and literally could not put it down. Summary: When Keith found himself mentally linked to Lance of all people, he never thought that it would end in anything but irritation and misery on both sides. He certainly never imagined that it would be a useful asset in team Voltron's fight against the Galra Empire. Now if he can just keep his feelings in check, they might actually have a chance at defeating Zarkon. Needless to say, when he'd wished for a 'bonding moment' with Lance, this wasn't exactly what he'd had in mind. Rated M

Hearts Don’t Break Around Here - klancekorner @dimplesandcurlsss Yeah I stayed up till 4am reading this and it was glorious, I finished at 3am and just thought about it for another hour, so awesome! Summary: Lance and Keith have been best friends since first grade. Lance’s brain is always on overdrive and Keith’s blunt, realistic ass can never keep up. They both come to realize that sometimes you can learn a lot about loving yourself by loving someone else. Rated M

Something just like this - klancekorner A summer romance sundae with a friends to lovers cherry on top. Summary: Keith reluctantly becomes the counselor for the Red Cabin at Camp Voltron, a summer camp in the middle of buttfuck nowhere that his older brother Shiro has worked at for years. Already unhappy with the current position that he is in, Keith prepares himself for a boring, sweaty, miserable summer; and his frustration only grows when he meets the counselor for the Blue Cabin Rated M

You and I Collide - idratherhaveyou @itsthegameilike If you looked up cute in the dictionary, this modern apartment au would be the definition. Summary: Lance likes to sing in the shower. Keith lives in the apartment next door and the walls are not very thick. And you can bet when Lance wakes him up at 7:30 in the morning, Keith has something to say about it. Rated M

I’ve Got You - DragonofFernweh @dragonastral Keith comforting lance is my aesthetic, this fic is my aesthetic. Summary: Keith isn’t great at the whole comfort thing, he doesn’t have a way with words, nor does he have much experience in way of affection. Still, when Lance hurts, Keith wants to do something to help. Otherwise known as; five times Keith comforts Lance, and one time Lance comforts Keith. Rated G

it’s easier for you to let me go - welcometothehumanrace Should be called 6 times I went AAJKSCNSKDCNSJ because of how fluffin’ cute keith and lance are. Summary: Keith did not think Lance's arms were anything to get excited about. Or his shoulders. Or any general part of him. Just everything about him was unexciting as a whole.Obviously. Or 5 times Lance put his arms around Keith and the one time Keith really wanted him to. Rated Teen & Up

The Message - shipstiel @shipstiel-writes Wow this wrong number fic is just glorious, I laughed, I went “awwwww”, I just had such a good time reading this. Summary: Keith is texted by accident by some idiot one day, and honestly he's not even sure why he responds. Or why he keeps responding. Yet somehow he finds himself drawn in, and okay, so maybe this fool is mildly entertaining after all. Who would've thought. Rated Teen & Up

Homesick at Space Camp - K0bot @k0tron So awesome...just a fucking great fic. Its got fake relationship/married, its got angst, its got ballroom dancing, its got so much fluff, do I need to say any more? Summary: Lance realizes he's been an asshole to Keith, and on a diplomatic mission to a key planet for the Voltron alliance he... overcompensates.

Fake It Till You Make It - nikkiRA @aravenlikeawritingdesk I’m a sucker for Fake/Pretend Relationship fics and this one is the fic that started that particular habit. Summary: “What Keith here means to say,” Lance says, and although his voice is steady, he is gripping Keith’s fingers so tightly it’s painful. “Is that we can’t mate with your people, although we, um, appreciate the offer, because, well. We already are. M-mated, I mean. With, you know. Each other.” Rated M

I hope you love these fics as much as I did, they are some of my fav fics of all time. It took me forever to finish this post because I sorta, kinda, maybe, totally re-read a lot of them while making it :) Shout out to fanfiction writers, thank you for putting so much of your time into these stories for free, your all amazing!

Check out my blog if you would like >>> @getyourvitamin-bri

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copperbadge · 7 years ago

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There was a recent discussion on tumblr, which I didn’t reblog for obvious reasons, about how people with a large readership cope with a heavy interaction load -- how the person would be anxious if they dealt with that volume of notes on each post, that amount of interaction and contact. I was tagged in it because of my habit of "lochnessing", where I cause an activity spike on posts I reblog that looks like the loch ness monster.

It never occurs to me, because I’ve dealt with high-volume social media for so long -- realistically about ten years, probably closer to fifteen -- that it’s difficult for people to handle that, because they don’t have the systems in place that I do. I mean it does occur to me in the sense that I have become more cautious about what I reblog and its impact on the OP; there are things I’d like to share with you but don’t because I recognize it would be harmful to the person who wrote them. But it doesn't occur to me that someone might struggle with a high volume of notes purely because it's a volume that they don't have a system in place to deal with the way I do.

So I said I'd do a writeup on the "entire ecosystems" I had in place for handling the high volume of interaction I receive online. I sit at a weird place where I'm not so well known that I can just ignore most of what comes at me with impunity because everyone acknowledges I can't answer it all, like say a youtube star. But at the same time I do get too much attention to return it at the same level I receive it. I am one and you are sixteen thousand. So I had to make systems to return as much as I could and feel okay about not returning the rest.

Reading through this, of course it sounds like a weird humblebrag: "Here's how I deal with my MASSIVE POPULARITY". There's no real way around that; I can't talk about how I deal with comments without talking about how I get a disproportionately high number of them. The fact that I do is what leads me to do things like the Zero Comment Challenge, or Radio Free Monday, to try and balance shit out. So, as I mention occasionally below, you can think I'm an asshole for talking about how I am popular, but I can't talk about how to deal with that popularity without acknowledging the reality of it, and someone somewhere's gonna think I'm an asshole anyway, so whatever.

These are the systems I use to manage my life -- work, play, the weird inbetween space that's kind of both. Many of these are akin to the systems that I use in managing my depression, in that they involve a lot of small steps building up to a big result, but each small step on its own is manageable.

Let's start with AO3, because it's actually probably the simplest.

I clean out my comments once a week. Usually there are between forty and a hundred and fifty, depending on if I’ve published something recently or been recommended by someone.

I go through all the one-sentence comments first, because those are the ones that are least likely to require a response. I read all comments but I learned through trial and error, twice in ten years, that I am physically and emotionally incapable of responding to every comment I receive even if it's just with a "Thank you!" and I'm just going to live with the fact that people think I'm an asshole for that. Also while I appreciate someone who leaves a "Great fic! <3" comment, that's genuinely really cool and validating, I don't think they truly need or expect a response. So most one-line comments, unless they are super weird or contain a question, get read, appreciated, and then deleted.

Then I go through the longer comments that need a closer reading, and delete any that are cool but still don't seem to require responses. If someone has left a ton of comments, I'll find the one I think is coolest or most needing of response, delete the others, and reply to that one comment with a thoughtful response including a line thanking them for all their other comments.

Finally, I respond to comments that are in-depth or have questions that require some thought. I find that if I don't respond to these on a weekly basis they pile up and then someone who asked a question like six months ago is still waiting for an answer, so this one is non-negotiable: my AO3 inbox has to be empty at the end of each week, and everything that needed a reply has to have one. (I do have one or two that just live in my inbox because they are cool ideas I will one day get round to writing, and I want to credit them when I do, but it's never more than two.) For me, it's easiest to wait until Friday or Saturday and just take an hour to clear them all out, rather than clearing as I go, because I don't have AO3 open all the time the way I do some other sites.

Tumblr: Every morning, before work, I go through the previous night's responses; I open all reblogs/mentions in new tabs to read and reply-as-necessary, and I reply to all comments that need responses. (This is also something I'll do throughout the day, but especially if I'm tired or pressed for time, the comment replies might be saved as a draft or left in an open tab until I can get to them). Occasionally shit doesn’t show up or I miss stuff but I’ve learned to just live with that as the price of doing fandom on Tumblr.

If there's a post by someone else that requires a response from me -- either a reblog of one of my posts, or someone tagged me in a post -- I Like it to find it later or I save it as a draft. I don't use Likes as anything other than "I want to be able to find this again in less than a week's time" and I never have more than about 20 Likes in my files. (Unless I’m traveling; it’s easier to Like something than save it as a draft or respond, so when I get home from traveling I often have 30-50 Likes in my file.)

Often on Tumblr I go through what I call the Line Cycle -- I read my dash, and then I go "down the line" and open all the other pages that might need attention, in specific order. I open asks and try to respond to a few -- I try to answer at least five every time but sometimes I don't manage to answer any for whatever reason -- then I open likes and try to convert as many likes as I can to either queued reblogs or drafts. I open drafts and try to convert some of those to queued reblogs. Then I go through the same process for one or two side blogs.

(Also in drafts are a lot of things that I'm not sure I want to put in my queue yet, or things that I put in the queue weekly like the Zero Comment Challenge post, which I dust off when I'm ready to queue it, then immediately re-save to drafts when it posts.)

Occasionally if I feel shit is getting out of hand I dedicate myself to, every time, not leaving the page I'm on until I've reduced its "count" (number of asks, likes, drafts, etc) by five, or at least to below the next multiple of five -- if I have 23, for example, I'll try to get it below 20.

Sometimes posts in tabs sit open for a while because in order to respond I have to read an article or watch a video, which take a lot of focus and attention. It used to be that recommendations for books or stuff to watch also sat open forever until I could get round to doing it, but now I just have a "reccs" file on the cloud that is a list of what I've been recommended and who recommended it, and I work my way through them slowly.

Email: Once I've read them, site notifications in my inbox get deleted; I've turned off follow/kudos notifications because they tend to be white noise.

Email is tough for me, it requires a lot of focus and emotional attention to answer emails, so I treat it the same way I would asks or likes or whatnot, but much more slowly. I tend to have a backlog of about thirty emails in my inbox, though often five to ten of those are emails that don't need response and that I'm saving (I star them to mark them as not needing attention). I have the multiple-stars function in Gmail turned on, and when it gets really bad, I start opening emails and triaging -- "This will be easier to answer" "This will take some time" etc. by starring them different colors.

I like to have no more than fifteen emails in my inbox but that is a rarity.

The Internet: Because social media takes up a lot of my time and I also work eight hours a day (well, four, we'll get to that in a bit) I have streamlined the way I encounter the internet, as well. I have a list of "daily reading" bookmarks that I open every morning and check through -- the horoscope page, the mustard tag on tumblr (which I don't follow because then the same dumbass two hipster fashion posts keep showing up on my dash), a blog that follows and posts about new small flash games that I might enjoy playing, a few others. (I also have a Monday file that I open once a week, it's calendars of events and such, and I go through on Mondays and add anything to my calendar that looks interesting.)

But if I can, any regularly-updated page that has an RSS feed gets converted to RSS and put into my Netvibes reader account, where I peruse it at my leisure. The Netvibes reader account includes a direct feed from the Steve/Tony and Steve/Sam tags on AO3, plus a few others; longform.org, some cooking blogs I follow, a bunch of podcast pages, a few webcomics, and one or two tumblrs that I don't want showing up on my dash (mainly artists' porny sideblogs, what up you glorious pervs) or think I would make the person uncomfortable by following them.

I have five tabs pinned to Chrome at any given time, and four tabs pinned to Firefox. The Chrome tabs are my personal Netvibes, Google Drive, a Google Sheets spreadsheet with my calendar and accounting tabs in it, Gmail, and Tumblr. The Firefox tabs are a second Netvibes account I use for work (we have several news sources we all monitor daily), my non-fannish gmail, my non-fannish facebook with a custom reading page so I never see anything twice, and the Google "family calendar" that I and my family use to track where we all are and what we're doing.

My parents use this more than I do, which is why I often open the calendar app on my phone to check my work schedule and find that my parents are taking the dogs to the groomer's today (yes, I know I could turn this off, but it amuses me). When I introduced my mother to Google Calendar her eyes got super big and she fell in immediate love; the first three things she added were the birthdays of her two dogs, followed by the birthday of Jesus. I would be more insulted by this but I had already added all the family birthdays, so at least I didn't come in behind the dogs AND the Christ Child.

Once in a while, when I'm at work and I feel like I'm not sure what I should be doing or that my day is spiralling out of my control, I'll take a deep breath, pull up Chrome, and go through all my pinned tabs, one by one, changing or fixing something on each -- I'll clear out my Longform reading, answer a few emails, check the calendar, etc. Then I'll go through any open tabs and try to close at least one. I get anxious if I have more than five or six non-pinned tabs open. Like having an inbox that's rarely over thirty emails total, it's not a sign I'm more effective or efficient than anyone else, it's just a sign I'm debilitatingly anxious about this kind of thing.

Work: I've read, many times, that people who work eight hours a day in a white collar job like mine really only do four hours of actual work. And for a while I joked that I wondered if I even did four, because I dick around on the internet A LOT. But lately I started to genuinely wonder, and so for the past six weeks, I've put that statement to the test.

When I arrive at work, I immediately put in two hours of solid work. I don't read tumblr, I don't read anything but work-related material. I triage all my work emails, I go through my Google Task list for the day and sort things by most to least urgent, and then I work my way through them for two solid hours. It's not easy at all, but any time I think "This is when I would stop and read tumblr" I shake my head and try to do one more work thing, and then I get back in the groove and can do like, three more. I also use this first morning period to take care of "personal work", stuff which has to get done to keep my life running smoothly, like mailing packages or replying to my parents' emails or whatnot.

Then I get a half-hour break to read tumblr, play a flash game, maybe read a piece on Longform. (I don't read fanfic at work; I sometimes clean out Netvibes of fics that from the tags and summaries I know I won't be interested in, but I don't open fanfic at work at all.) I also use this time to get some food in me.

Then I do another two hours of work, same deal. And that's four hours of work. And I get a shitload done, let me tell you.

For the next three hours after, I am basically free to do whatever I want. I usually use about an hour to do some freelance work, and I spend time on tumblr or on personal email, reading articles, listening to podcasts, playing games. I eat a snack, I talk to my coworkers. I find I actually run out of new stuff to read, and I do try to process the old stuff, like empty out my drafts and likes. And of course the nature of my job means that sometimes there is work to be done that comes up suddenly, but it's usually just a matter of teeing it up for the following morning's work shift.

For the last hour of my work day, I go through my work inbox, make sure everything's set up for tomorrow, send any last emails, do any last wrap-up, and make sure all my documents are either saved or closed. (Our IT team likes to run updates and involuntary restarts without warning, so I've learned to always save at end of day.)

So, yeah. Those are some of the systems I have in place in order to run a very mentally busy life. I'm not necessarily recommending them; a lot of them won't work for everyone because everyone is different, and I recognize that some of them are inapplicable (I work a job with no outward-facing element to it; a barista or a librarian or a teacher can't do what I do, schedule-wise), and some of them are a level of regimentation I'm not sure most people would find healthy. But that's how I do my thing, and maybe some of my techniques will sound appealing to other people who occasionally feel, as I do, like they're drowning a little bit.

(Did you find this useful or interesting? Keep me organized and drop some change in my Ko-Fi or at my Paypal!)

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youdecode · 4 years ago

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How to stop seeking validation?| 15 Best ways for how to trust yourself?

External validation is making your head spin . . . it is lowering your self-confidence and shattering you from within.

If you are wondering how to stop seeking validation from others and be self sufficient then this blogpost has got you covered with the essentials.

Yes, you can regain your self image with just few steps.

Ready let’s dig in:

Here Are Some Related Massively-Transformative Resources Which Will Ever Need.

15 Insanely Powerful Low Self Confidence Tips

11 powerful ideas of How To Not Be Sensitive?

33 Ways of Self-love When Life is Tough

PS : Don’t forget to grab the freebie at the end of post, specially crafted for you !

1# Take a social media break

Is most of your time sucked up by social media?

Well, time to take social media break then because it is a place where external validation starts.

You need to go on a detox and nourish your mindset about yourself to eliminate the comparison which is throwing you towards anxiety.

You truly do not need all those likes or comment to reinforce your self image.

Do you?

2# How to stop seeking validation: Be mindful

Keep track of your everyday achievements.

There is no hint of self-obsession in this point.

Rather this tracking will ensure that you are aware of your self worth each second.

Through this journal, you will able to also look for improvements in your everyday achievements which will eliminate the need for self-validation in the first place.

Yes, you have to acknowledge your skills, talents, and abilities for self-validation.

3# Check your behavior

Are you actively ask people about their opinion?

Are you then changing your opinion and drifting it to align with what others think?

Why are you asking others in the first place?

Because you are stuck in insecurity, doubt, and uncertainty.

Every action which you take today comes from the belief system present in your subconscious mind.

How does this system develop in the first place?

The repetition of the mental note “I am not good enough” constructs this system.

You need to get rid of the old belief system and make a new one filled with self-worth.

*****Learn how to build self-worth here. *****

4# Try To Understand Why You’re Seeking Approval

Question yourself why you are not seeking self-validation.

This is vital if want to stop seeking external validation

Next time when you begin to doubt yourself and start seeking validation I need you to answer these.

Journal them out or solve such questions mentally.

“Why don’t I trust my own opinion on this matter?”

“Why am I uncertain?

“Why I need the approval and what difference it will make?”

5# A specific way of journaling Your Thoughts

You have to figure out your internal struggle for battling this external validation syndrome.

Grab a thoughts journal

Every day fill a page about the thoughts you had

By the end of the week review the pages

Circle the most consistent thought or feeling you had the entire week

Fix the feeling if contributes in diminishing your self-confidence

6# Learn To Accept Yourself For Who You Are

Do you accept yourself in any way?

Do you practice self-acceptance all the time?

Is that acceptance unconditional?

Do you worry about what other people think instead of focusing on whether it makes you happy or not?

It is hard to accept ourselves as we are. We will find more flaws in ourselves than someone else ever could.

If you will learn to accept yourself under every situation only then you will be able to ripe the seeds of self-confidence.

SHOW SOME LOVE FAMILY & PIN THIS FOR LATER FAM!

7# Practice Self-Love

How much do you care for your close friend?

Rate this on a scale of 1 to 10.

Now the same question flips for you. How much do you care for yourself?

Are cherishing your being?

Are you doing every kind of thing that is vital for practicing self-care?

Are you practicing self-compassion?

8# Trust yourself

I want you to answer that how much do you trust yourself?

Again on a scale of 1-10. I know it is less than 10. What can be done about it?

How to trust yourself?

By not putting others before yourself. By getting rid of Approval seeking personality

9# Try To Think Like A Millennial

If you are a true millennial then you need to prove it.

How?

By being more comfortable with yourself.

If you are not aware then it is known that millennial possess an enormous amount of self-confidence and they will be confident with whatever they bring to plate.

So, girls act like one.

10# Make friends with rejection.

This one is easy to do.

If I ask you to think about the times when you faced rejections or failed to meet expectations then you will have no problem.

You will come up with a list of events when you disappointed yourself.

Now tell me how you overcame such a situation.

What was the process of recovering from that slip-up and what you actually learned?

I am sure it helped you grow.

Remember that you are seeking validations because of previous failures and disappointments but get one thing straight: rejection is your friend.

11# Embrace a growth mindset

Another way of not seeking external validation is by embracing a growth mindset.

Prioritize learning as through learning you will be constantly improving and evolving.

This improvement and growth within you will make you free from seeking external validation.

People with a fixed mindset will take any comment, disapproval, and failure as a sign of disappointment and thus will be forced to seek validation.

I have especially inked this detailed resource for mindset improvement. Warning: It is powerful.

12# Focus on the process, not

outcomes.

Become process-oriented rather than the outcome.

Are you too attached to the results?

If you will be running after outcomes then you are prone to have an approval-seeking behavior.

So just focus on improving the process. How will it help?

Well, you will not weigh your self worth with the results you get.

Rather you will appreciate the drill and efforts involved.

Question yourself: Am I narrowly attached to the promotion?

If yes then I am relying on external standards for appreciation.

Don’t take validation from things that you cannot control.

13# Understand and prioritize your agenda.

If you do not want to rely on external validation then you have to get clear about what really matters to you.

What is your priority?

What is the thing which you will never negotiate on?

You need to sink into the habit of prioritizing your agendas.

Understand your wants and stick to them.

14# Be kind to yourself and say a definitive, “no”.

You need to stop nodding your head for a yes.

I have seen a lot of people who have a hard time saying no.

You need to stop people-pleasing because let’s get honest here: people do not care in the end.

It is you who matter.

You cannot make everyone happy but you have the ability to make yourself happy.

Then why not take a route which is worth offering a satisfactory, and fulfilled life.

Do not let go of your plans just because someone has different expectations.

This is a form of Seeking validation from others.

You have to be kind enough to yourself. So next time when anyone unintentionally interrupts your plans just be kind and say a definitive no.

Trust me, people will respect you for that.

Learn to validate yourself.

Self validation & internal validation is what will get rid of your approval seeking behavior.

15# A rewarding way of journaling

I excessively blog about journaling.

There are countless ways of inking out anything, yes like anything.

I have already mentioned about journaling out your thoughts.

Now is the time to journal for self-discovery.

You have to write down three things you love about yourself.

Ink three things down every day. Are you like, “Eisha it is hard to come up with 3 things every day.”

Trust me, it is not.

How will this help:

You will not seek others to validate because you are enough of reminding yourself of the incredible power you possess.

If you are a bit confused about this process then I will highly suggest you check this resource related to self-discovery.

Explore journaling incredible prompts.

Final words for how to stop seeking validation:

From now on Become conscious of the time, of the instances when you have put others before yourself.

Valuing others and loving them does not mean that compromising your identity.

The best way of stop seeking validation is through self value.

This self love mini kit is sure to help you.

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ginnyzero · 5 years ago

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A Method to My Madness

Every writer has a different writing process. Some writers like to meticulously plan things out with detailed outlines and may plan an entire series of books in advance. Other writers sit down with whatever their favored materials are and just start writing without a clue of where the story started or where it’s headed, preferring to write by the seat of their pants. Then there are writers on the sliding scale of everything in between. The point is to find what works for you and gives you the most productivity. Productivity means words written for the story. Because no matter how much planning you do or how many notes you make, none of that matters unless you write the story.

For a lot of years, I didn’t have a writing process. See, that is something of the joy of fan fiction. You don’t really need a writing process. You write what you want to write and it doesn’t matter if it has a coherent plot or not. It doesn’t really need to be excessively long. And the concept of writing something three times for fun is rather laughable. You write. You spell check. You publish. That was pretty much my writing process for a very long time.

Now that I’m writing my own stories. I find that this has changed. Look, I’ll admit that there is a lot of good fan fiction out there. Good does not mean publishable. When you want to try and publish something, there is and should be an entirely different game plan than just writing for fun to post it on the internet. (There is a bit of rant in here somewhere, but that’s not what we’re here to talk about.)

So, the first step to any writing process is to get an idea.

Ideas can come from anywhere. Conversations. Family antics. Other pieces of media. They can really pop out of anywhere at any time. They can come from our fears, our fascinations or what we find funny. I tend to go a lot with what I find funny. Does this amuse me? If it makes me laugh or entertains me for a good five to ten minutes, then I open a word document.

Then I write notes.

I tend to write a lot of notes. I write notes about characters. I write notes about the world. I write notes about story scenes that I think would be funny. I write down associations of what I feel the story is like in tone, in technology so that I have a picture to ground myself in so I don’t veer off from my initial vision.

Then, if the story is based in any sort of reality and sometimes if it isn’t, I research.

Research is important. Especially if you are writing a longer series. If you’re writing a story about backpacking in outer Mongolia and meeting a yeti, then it behooves you to research about Mongolia, backpacking and yetis.

And then I write more notes.

I write notes about what I researched. I write story notes about the ideas that the research gave me. I write notes about more scenes because characters won’t stop interacting in my head. And when I’m writing these notes, I get questions that I have to go answer. And sometimes when answering these questions, I actually end up writing a completely different story than I thought I would. But at some point all this note taking has to stop.

Now, I want to emphasize why for me note taking is important. I write notes because I get a lot of ideas all at once. My brain likes to go haring off down rabbit trails on the scents of red herrings. If I don’t write these scenes and ideas down, I’m most likely to forget them. And then I’m banging my forehead later with the palm of my hand going “But that was funny! Argh!” I don’t like banging my forehead with the palm of my hand or going “argh!” So, I write lots of notes. It doesn’t mean that the story won’t change, because, my God in Heaven, it can change drastically. But at least I’ll have the notes to document where things took a twist on me.

Notes are important so you don’t forget things. However, notes don’t mean things are set in stone. You can change the story at any time. (Or the story can change on you depending on your point of view.) Notes give an important framework. They are, in a way, verbalizing the ideas so you can get them out of your head and view them more constructively. Sometimes, the only way to determine if the idea will make a good story is to get it out into words. Once the idea is, in essence, verbalized. Then you can start seeing the strengths and the flaws of it. Once the framework is down, then you can start changing things.

I like to keep my notes and my framework flexible. If I leave room for flexibility, there is room for change and for more stories within the boundary of that framework. As long as I have that framework, that world set, I can jump about anywhere within it and discover something new or someone new.

Once I’ve written all these notes and taken a good hard look at my idea and my framework. Then I have to figure out which question, which core idea is the best idea to work with. Sometimes, the very first idea and story you come up with is not the best place to start the story. So, this is the point where I grab my core idea. What am I building this story around?

This is also a good time to ask yourself, “is this a good story?” I’ll be blunt. Sometimes, you can have the best idea in the world, but it just isn’t going to make a good story. Stories have to have conflict. They have to have change, whether the character is growing or slipping backwards into bad or worse habits. Your characters and setting can be interesting. Without conflict, change, movement and action, it just isn’t going to be a good story no matter how much time you spend on it. The best sense a writer can have before they start writing is the nose or gut for a ‘good story.’ If there isn’t conflict, character growth, action or movement, then this is the place where you step back and take a good hard look at what you’re doing, before you set any words to paper or screen at all. The best time to change things is before you even start. This will save multiple headaches later on when you’re not pounding your head against a brick wall because the story wasn’t working.

Finally, I start writing.

I’ve got my idea. I’ve got my framework. I’ve got the core story I want to tell. I may not know everything about the world and the characters, but I know enough that I can write. So, I write. And I write. And I write some more. And if I get any ideas for other stories or further scenes while I write, I open my notes and write them into my notes and go back to writing the story. See, the key thing here is to get that first draft cranked out! That, and usually I’m so excited at this point that I don’t want to do anything else but write. Some days writing is a chore. Other days it’s “What do you mean I have to eat and sleep and all those other bodily functions? That’s not fair!”

So, I write, until I get the story out of my head and onto the screen. I write until it is finished. The story says what I wanted it to stay.

Then I push back, have an immense feeling of satisfaction, maybe do a little dance of glee. Tell Becca, have her do a dance of glee. Really, when you finish something to completion, you need to take that moment and enjoy it! Writing a novel is a huge amount of work. Rewards are in order!

Usually, so you don’t get burnt out, it’s best to leave the story alone for a while and go work on something else. That might be the next story in the same universe. It might be a different story in a different universe. It might be writing something purely for fun in a writer’s case of mindless self-indulgence.

When I get back to the book, the first thing I do is write a summary of it.

Summarizing is a very important skill. A lot of writers hate to do it. It isn’t easy to take your baby no matter how long it is and condense it into half a dozen sentences. In fact, in fan fiction circles, you have to summarize in maybe one or two sentences. This can be so difficult that a lot of writers won’t even try. (You need a sentence to summarize the overall story, and a sentence to summarize the chapter you are posting.) Summarization is about knowing your core idea and being able to articulate it in a cohesive and concise way. If you don’t know the core idea of your story, you’re never going to be able to summarize. It truly is that simple.

I find summarization really helps to point out if there are any weaknesses to my story. It can help pin point who the main character is and what their conflict is. Sometimes the main character isn’t who I think it is and their main conflict isn’t what I thought it was either. Usually when I summarize I can see right off what I need to go back into the book and change or emphasize.

I read the story again and once again, you guessed it, make notes about where I can add things or things need to be changed. I put in where scenes should be added to make the story more complete.

Then, I go in and I write again. I do my best to address the weaknesses I found when I was writing the summary. I expand on things. I add description. I poke and I prod. When I figure I’ve done as much to it as I can within what I’ve got.

I chapter it. Usually this involves some arbitrary page count, plus or minus 3 pages. If you make the chapters too short, the story starts feeling rushed. If you make the chapters too long, it becomes too much for a reader to wade through. In writing fan fiction I found in the fan fiction writing format which is similar to this blog’s, that ten pages was usually a good average for a reader. Ten pages was usually enough to move the story along at a reasonable clip without making anyone too tired. Twenty pages and the story started to drag and it felt like a slog. The key idea is to keep the reader’s interest long enough so they don’t hit the back button. (And readers can hit the back button, essentially putting down the book for the most minor and craziest things.)

When I chapter the book, sometimes I get lucky and find I did something amusing without realizing it. Other times, there are places where things have gone on too long and need to be broken up. However, if they aren’t breaking up directly in the middle, this gives me a place and opportunity to work more on the main conflict of the story. So, as I’m breaking it up, I am once again, writing notes about what chapters are too long or too short and how many pages I have to alter, add or fix what is going on in the story to address the conflict.

If you haven’t noticed, I am something of a “add more” person. Granted, I don’t like taking things out or ‘killing my darlings’ as much as the next author. That’s painful. I had a reason for that to be in there dang it! I don’t want to take it out. It’s my baby! Ahhhh! As I like to say, there is a method to my madness and it only looks like madness to you because you don’t know where I’m going with it yet. However, I tend to add things rather than subtract them, because you can’t take things out if they aren’t there to begin with! Adding stuff, that’s easy. Taking stuff out, that’s hard. And you can’t take anything out and make it more concise, cohesive or whatever, if you don’t have a lot of stuff in there in the first place. So yes, if I’ve got something in there that I feel isn’t making the story stronger, then I can cut it out and paste it into another document to use later! However, I can’t cut it out, if I never wrote it.

Once I’ve chaptered it. I go back and read the story in chaptered form and focus on where each place the story isn’t fitting into my arbitrary number of pages. What is going on in the story? How can I make it longer? How can I cut the chapter up? Do I have to add more? Does something need to be taken out? What is going on in the story at that minute? Do I expand upon it? Do I subtract and summarize? What will make the story stronger? This is me breaking things up into bits and shining a spotlight on the flaws.

I write more. I try to figure out answers to the questions of “is this really important?” The weaknesses are addressed. The chapters are split up or filled out.

Then I step back, raise my hands and call it done.

You can spend a lot of time and energy constantly fussing or polishing a story. You can go back and change things and “fix” them and fiddle until you’ve fretted and worried yourself to pieces trying to make it perfect. At some point, you have to step back and go ‘enough! Stop fiddling!’ This is another important life skill, knowing when enough is enough. It’s as good as it’s going to get without outside intervention. (If you’re a perfectionist, I can’t help you. Sorry. I gave up on that a long time ago.)

So, yes, it’s finished. There is usually more satisfaction and another dance of glee. Sometimes, I want to order pizza and throw a mini party.

For those of you who didn’t want to read all of that, let me sum up. Idea, notes, research, more notes, write until fingers bleed, finish first draft, dance with glee, go do something else, come back, write summary, read story, write notes, write more story, finish second draft, chapter story, write more notes, write more story, finish third draft, dance with glee.

And once this whole process is done, you get to start over and do it all over again with yet another story. Because it’s not if you can do it once that’s important, it’s if you can do it multiple times! Now, if you’re working in the same universe it can be mildly easier the second time around. Not as much research and possibly not as much note taking. If you’re working with a completely new universe, then yes, the whole process has to start from scratch.

Yes, it is a process. It takes time and how much time depends on how much time I’ve got to devote to it and can focus on the project. This works for me. It might not work for someone else. The idea is to focus on writing as much as possible. If you focus too much on the note taking and constantly organizing your notes, you’re never going to get done. The reader doesn’t care about your research. They don’t care about your notes. They care about the story. The finished product. That’s what they are paying for (or not paying for in the case of fan fiction.) So, the key thing for me is to do things in ‘phases’ so I can focus on churning out that final product.

So, you know, I have an excuse to throw a party. Grin.

#writing #writing process #may not work for you #writerblr #writblr #writing tips #personal #how I do it #sometimes there is no third draft #get that first draft out #really that's the important part #celebrate #you did a lot of work #you deserve it

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kristinejrosario · 7 years ago

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Case Study: The 30-Minute Habit That Transformed Kelly’s Blog

Today on the blog we have a case study from one of our readers. Or rather one of our podcast listeners, as it was a tip in a particular podcast that spurred on today’s guest author to make some significant changes to her blog over the course of a year. I hope you enjoy Kelly Dunning’s story, and her insights and advice on how she has made the most of one simple habit to banish the guilt of not posting and rediscover her passion for her travel blog Global-Goose.com.

My blog used to make me feel sad and discouraged.

Why?

I loved working on it, but I rarely ever got around to it. I’m a full-time freelance writer with a travel blog as a side project. I spend a lot of time on the road. Like many bloggers out there, my blog is often sidelined by my full-time job and other commitments.

By the time I finished my freelance work at the end of the day, I was tired and wanted to get away from the keyboard.

I made this excuse for years, and while I always got my freelance writing work done my blog was embarrassingly neglected. Sometimes I wouldn’t write a post for weeks, and if I did it would be a small one just to remove the guilt of not posting.

This made me feel awful. I’d started the blog as a passion project. Traveling was the pivotal decision that changed my life.

When I hit the road for the first time, I felt so empowered and excited. I started my travel blog because I found a love for traveling that I wanted to share with others. Unfortunately, I wasn’t doing it as much as I wanted to because I couldn’t find the time. (At least, that’s what I told myself.)

I never struggled to think of things to write about. In my head I had an almost infinite list of blog posts I wanted to write. I just wasn’t making time to write them.

Finally, after a lot of stress and procrastination, I found myself in a rare moment of honest self-reflection. I realized I was just making excuses. Have you ever heard the saying, “If you argue for your limitations, then surely they are yours”? I was definitely guilty of arguing for my own limitations.

I had to get around this “limitation”, and figure out how I could write for my own blog in my spare time after writing all day as a full-time job.

One simple thing completely changed blogging for me.

I decided to spend 30 minutes on my blog every day, before my workday even began. Yup, just 30 minutes. I figured it was small, but it was better than nothing.

That was a year ago, and what a difference it has made.

“It’s Just What I Do”

The idea of a 30 minute per day blogging habit was inspired by one of Darren’s ProBlogger podcasts – “3 Productivity Tips to Help You Build Healthy Habits.” Darren says that when he’s forming a good habit he tells himself, “That’s just what I do.” There’s something very powerful about this. It works as a convincing mantra to help you instil a habit until it becomes something you do without even thinking about it.

So, I started setting a timer first thing in the morning and working on the blog for 30 minutes. Now it’s just what I do.

I started this habit in November 2016, and I’ve kept it up ever since – a full year now. This habit has allowed me to transform my travel blog, and I’ve published more high-quality posts than I ever had before.

Why This Works For Me

Working on my blog every morning for 30 minutes a day has been an effective strategy for me because:

It’s a small amount of time that I could always squeeze in, no matter how busy my day was. That’s 3.5 hours per week (14 hours per month) of steady work – certainly more than I was doing before.

I would have never been able to carve a 3.5 hour chunk out of my weekly schedule. But 30 minutes per day is always possible. I do it first thing, before any other distractions creep in and take over.

With a 30-minute timer ticking down, I use my morning blog time very efficiently and get a lot done in a short amount of time.

Since I’m working on my blog a little bit every day, it’s often on my mind and I think of ideas and ways to improve it around the clock.

I often find I keep working once the timer rings because I’m engaged in what I’m doing, and want to keep going until I finish that particular task.

Working on the blog for 30 minutes in the morning also gets my creative juices flowing, makes my other writing better, and puts me in a great mood.

Beginning with a solid 30-minute session of working on the blog means I’ve already accomplished something I’ve set my mind to before I even start my workday. This boosts my confidence, and gives me a great start to the day.

How Has It Made a Difference?

Thirty minutes a day may not seem like much. But it has made a huge difference to my blog over the past year. Looking back on the past 12 months, this is what I’ve achieved:

Published 51 blog posts, which is almost one a week. I’ve never managed to maintain the habit of blogging consistently for that long before. And many of these have been long, in-depth, evergreen posts.

Updated/improved/fixed errors in countless other posts. I notice these areas for improvement more often because I’m looking at my blog every day.

Improved the quality of my blog posts due to the increased practice.

Completed a 23,000-word travel guide for my website that I started writing years ago but never finished.

Thought about the “Why?” of my blog so I can define exactly how I want to help readers, and then implemented the changes.

Increased my Facebook page fans by 1,269.

Increased my Twitter followers by 1,570.

Increased my blog traffic by 24% (comparing October 2016 to October 2017).

Created a user-friendly “Start Here” page to organise my content and help readers find what they’re looking for.

Started and maintained a Pinterest Account, and designed beautiful pins to promote my posts.

Made a page and a Google Form for guest post submissions, and worked with guest authors to create blog posts.

Wrote several guest posts that were published on relevant websites in my niche.

I’m not saying this is miraculous. Some blogs have certainly grown faster than mine. But I’m proud of what I’ve achieved in the past year because without this simple habit I wouldn’t have done nearly this much.

Yes, I could have done a lot more if I’d been working on my blog full-time. But that just wasn’t realistic for me with my full time job. With this habit, I could make it work around my other commitments.

I work on a blog post nearly every day, and it usually takes me several days to to complete one from start to finish. Sometimes it takes a while because I’ve created some long and in-depth guides that are 3,000-5,000 words long. (I’ve learned that juicy, detailed and helpful blog posts give the best experience for my readers, so that’s what I’ve been focusing on.)

One of the most important differences is the way I feel about my blog. Instead of making me feel embarrassed, futile and frustrated, my blog makes me so happy right now. This habit means my blog is no longer a side project I feel guilty for neglecting, but rather an active, thriving blog with a steadily growing readership. Every day when I get up in the morning, I’m excited to work on it.

A couple of weeks ago one of my readers emailed to let me know that one of my posts had been incredibly helpful for them, and was the inspiration for them to travel abroad for the first time. Knowing I made a profound positive impact on someone’s life is such a rewarding feeling.

Plus, my blog now serves as a much better showcase of my writing skills, and is a more effective portfolio when applying for freelance writing jobs. I’ve been getting more and better writing projects in the past year, and I think there’s a direct correlation.

What If I Miss a Day?

Now before you assume I’m some kind of super-woman, I admit I don’t do this perfectly. I don’t always achieve the 30 minutes every day. Sometimes I wake up late. Sometimes I’m not feeling well. Sometimes I’m lazy. And sometimes I’m sleeping under the stars in the Australian outback with no computer.

But the habit is ingrained now, so if I miss one day I’m usually right back on it the next morning. After all, it’s just what I do. I’ve decided that it’s unrealistic to expect I won’t miss a day every now and then. That’s fine with me. But I make sure that missing days is an exception and doesn’t happen that often.

I’ve found that achieving success when working towards a long-term goal (like building an awesome blog) depends more on cumulative habits than what you do on any given day. It’s kind of like living a healthy lifestyle. If you have a long-term habit of exercising regularly, and you eat healthy food on most days, treating yourself to a double-fudge brownie every now and then won’t make too much of a difference because it’s the exception rather than the norm.

How I Make The Most of My 30 Minutes a Day

I’m often amazed at how long 30 minutes can actually feel. When I’m focused, I can get a surprising amount of work done in this time. I can usually write 600-800 words in a morning session. Then, when I finish a post, I use the next couple of 30-minute sessions to work on uploading to WordPress, formatting, adding images, publishing, promoting on social media and all other follow-up actions.

Here’s how I make my 30 minutes really count:

I put my phone away so I’m not distracted. If I whittle away the 30 minutes checking Facebook notifications, I won’t get another chance to work on my blog until the following day.

I listen to classical music on my headphones because it tunes everything out and helps me stay focused.

I use Trello to organise everything I’m working on for the blog. I have separate columns for Blog Post Ideas, Blog Posts in Progress, Miscellaneous Tasks to Complete for the Blog, etc. It helps me see the big picture and figure out what needs to be done next.

I have at least two different blog posts on the go at any given time, so if I’m not feeling inspired to write about a particular topic that morning or if I hit a block, I can spend the time working on something else.

I have other blog-related tasks for the days when I want to take a break from writing. This includes scheduling social media, uploading blog posts, adding photos, creating Pinterest graphics, reaching out to influencers, etc.

This simple habit has helped my blogging enormously, and might help you if you’re busy and struggling to find time to blog.

I challenge you to find 30 minutes in your day to work on your blog, whether it’s in the morning like me, at the end of the day, or whenever works for you. It may not seem like a lot, but it really does make a difference.

Bio:

Kelly Dunning is a Canadian freelance travel writer. She lives a nomadic lifestyle with no fixed address, working from the road since 2011 with her partner Lee, a web designer from England. They’ve traveled to more than 50 countries, and offer travel tips, stories and inspiration on Global-Goose.com.

The post Case Study: The 30-Minute Habit That Transformed Kelly’s Blog appeared first on ProBlogger.

from http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ProbloggerHelpingBloggersEarnMoney/~3/-xcjpxOhRrU/

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richardrobertsimsuccessblog · 7 years ago

Text

Case Study: The 30-Minute Habit That Transformed Kelly’s Blog

My blog used to make me feel sad and discouraged.

Why?

By the time I finished my freelance work at the end of the day, I was tired and wanted to get away from the keyboard.

This made me feel awful. I’d started the blog as a passion project. Traveling was the pivotal decision that changed my life.

I never struggled to think of things to write about. In my head I had an almost infinite list of blog posts I wanted to write. I just wasn’t making time to write them.

I had to get around this “limitation”, and figure out how I could write for my own blog in my spare time after writing all day as a full-time job.

One simple thing completely changed blogging for me.

I decided to spend 30 minutes on my blog every day, before my workday even began. Yup, just 30 minutes. I figured it was small, but it was better than nothing.

That was a year ago, and what a difference it has made.

“It’s Just What I Do”

So, I started setting a timer first thing in the morning and working on the blog for 30 minutes. Now it’s just what I do.

Why This Works For Me

Working on my blog every morning for 30 minutes a day has been an effective strategy for me because:

I would have never been able to carve a 3.5 hour chunk out of my weekly schedule. But 30 minutes per day is always possible. I do it first thing, before any other distractions creep in and take over.

With a 30-minute timer ticking down, I use my morning blog time very efficiently and get a lot done in a short amount of time.

Since I’m working on my blog a little bit every day, it’s often on my mind and I think of ideas and ways to improve it around the clock.

I often find I keep working once the timer rings because I’m engaged in what I’m doing, and want to keep going until I finish that particular task.

Working on the blog for 30 minutes in the morning also gets my creative juices flowing, makes my other writing better, and puts me in a great mood.

How Has It Made a Difference?

Thirty minutes a day may not seem like much. But it has made a huge difference to my blog over the past year. Looking back on the past 12 months, this is what I’ve achieved:

Updated/improved/fixed errors in countless other posts. I notice these areas for improvement more often because I’m looking at my blog every day.

Improved the quality of my blog posts due to the increased practice.

Completed a 23,000-word travel guide for my website that I started writing years ago but never finished.

Thought about the “Why?” of my blog so I can define exactly how I want to help readers, and then implemented the changes.

Increased my Facebook page fans by 1,269.

Increased my Twitter followers by 1,570.

Increased my blog traffic by 24% (comparing October 2016 to October 2017).

Created a user-friendly “Start Here” page to organise my content and help readers find what they’re looking for.

Started and maintained a Pinterest Account, and designed beautiful pins to promote my posts.

Made a page and a Google Form for guest post submissions, and worked with guest authors to create blog posts.

Wrote several guest posts that were published on relevant websites in my niche.

What If I Miss a Day?

How I Make The Most of My 30 Minutes a Day

Here’s how I make my 30 minutes really count:

I put my phone away so I’m not distracted. If I whittle away the 30 minutes checking Facebook notifications, I won’t get another chance to work on my blog until the following day.

I listen to classical music on my headphones because it tunes everything out and helps me stay focused.

This simple habit has helped my blogging enormously, and might help you if you’re busy and struggling to find time to blog.

Bio:

The post Case Study: The 30-Minute Habit That Transformed Kelly’s Blog appeared first on ProBlogger.

Case Study: The 30-Minute Habit That Transformed Kelly’s Blog

#Richard Roberts IM Success Mix #Case Study: The 30-Minute Habit That Transformed Kelly’s Blog

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silvino32mills · 7 years ago

Text

Case Study: The 30-Minute Habit That Transformed Kelly’s Blog

My blog used to make me feel sad and discouraged.

Why?

By the time I finished my freelance work at the end of the day, I was tired and wanted to get away from the keyboard.

This made me feel awful. I’d started the blog as a passion project. Traveling was the pivotal decision that changed my life.

I never struggled to think of things to write about. In my head I had an almost infinite list of blog posts I wanted to write. I just wasn’t making time to write them.

I had to get around this “limitation”, and figure out how I could write for my own blog in my spare time after writing all day as a full-time job.

One simple thing completely changed blogging for me.

I decided to spend 30 minutes on my blog every day, before my workday even began. Yup, just 30 minutes. I figured it was small, but it was better than nothing.

That was a year ago, and what a difference it has made.

“It’s Just What I Do”

So, I started setting a timer first thing in the morning and working on the blog for 30 minutes. Now it’s just what I do.

Why This Works For Me

Working on my blog every morning for 30 minutes a day has been an effective strategy for me because:

I would have never been able to carve a 3.5 hour chunk out of my weekly schedule. But 30 minutes per day is always possible. I do it first thing, before any other distractions creep in and take over.

With a 30-minute timer ticking down, I use my morning blog time very efficiently and get a lot done in a short amount of time.

Since I’m working on my blog a little bit every day, it’s often on my mind and I think of ideas and ways to improve it around the clock.

I often find I keep working once the timer rings because I’m engaged in what I’m doing, and want to keep going until I finish that particular task.

Working on the blog for 30 minutes in the morning also gets my creative juices flowing, makes my other writing better, and puts me in a great mood.

How Has It Made a Difference?

Thirty minutes a day may not seem like much. But it has made a huge difference to my blog over the past year. Looking back on the past 12 months, this is what I’ve achieved:

Updated/improved/fixed errors in countless other posts. I notice these areas for improvement more often because I’m looking at my blog every day.

Improved the quality of my blog posts due to the increased practice.

Completed a 23,000-word travel guide for my website that I started writing years ago but never finished.

Thought about the “Why?” of my blog so I can define exactly how I want to help readers, and then implemented the changes.

Increased my Facebook page fans by 1,269.

Increased my Twitter followers by 1,570.

Increased my blog traffic by 24% (comparing October 2016 to October 2017).

Created a user-friendly “Start Here” page to organise my content and help readers find what they’re looking for.

Started and maintained a Pinterest Account, and designed beautiful pins to promote my posts.

Made a page and a Google Form for guest post submissions, and worked with guest authors to create blog posts.

Wrote several guest posts that were published on relevant websites in my niche.

What If I Miss a Day?

How I Make The Most of My 30 Minutes a Day

Here’s how I make my 30 minutes really count:

I put my phone away so I’m not distracted. If I whittle away the 30 minutes checking Facebook notifications, I won’t get another chance to work on my blog until the following day.

I listen to classical music on my headphones because it tunes everything out and helps me stay focused.

This simple habit has helped my blogging enormously, and might help you if you’re busy and struggling to find time to blog.

Bio:

The post Case Study: The 30-Minute Habit That Transformed Kelly’s Blog appeared first on ProBlogger.

from ProBlogger http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ProbloggerHelpingBloggersEarnMoney/~3/-xcjpxOhRrU/

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bizmediaweb · 7 years ago

Text

Case Study: The 30-Minute Habit That Transformed Kelly’s Blog

My blog used to make me feel sad and discouraged.

Why?

By the time I finished my freelance work at the end of the day, I was tired and wanted to get away from the keyboard.

This made me feel awful. I’d started the blog as a passion project. Traveling was the pivotal decision that changed my life.

I never struggled to think of things to write about. In my head I had an almost infinite list of blog posts I wanted to write. I just wasn’t making time to write them.

I had to get around this “limitation”, and figure out how I could write for my own blog in my spare time after writing all day as a full-time job.

One simple thing completely changed blogging for me.

I decided to spend 30 minutes on my blog every day, before my workday even began. Yup, just 30 minutes. I figured it was small, but it was better than nothing.

That was a year ago, and what a difference it has made.

“It’s Just What I Do”

So, I started setting a timer first thing in the morning and working on the blog for 30 minutes. Now it’s just what I do.

Why This Works For Me

Working on my blog every morning for 30 minutes a day has been an effective strategy for me because:

I would have never been able to carve a 3.5 hour chunk out of my weekly schedule. But 30 minutes per day is always possible. I do it first thing, before any other distractions creep in and take over.

With a 30-minute timer ticking down, I use my morning blog time very efficiently and get a lot done in a short amount of time.

Since I’m working on my blog a little bit every day, it’s often on my mind and I think of ideas and ways to improve it around the clock.

I often find I keep working once the timer rings because I’m engaged in what I’m doing, and want to keep going until I finish that particular task.

Working on the blog for 30 minutes in the morning also gets my creative juices flowing, makes my other writing better, and puts me in a great mood.

How Has It Made a Difference?

Thirty minutes a day may not seem like much. But it has made a huge difference to my blog over the past year. Looking back on the past 12 months, this is what I’ve achieved:

Updated/improved/fixed errors in countless other posts. I notice these areas for improvement more often because I’m looking at my blog every day.

Improved the quality of my blog posts due to the increased practice.

Completed a 23,000-word travel guide for my website that I started writing years ago but never finished.

Thought about the “Why?” of my blog so I can define exactly how I want to help readers, and then implemented the changes.

Increased my Facebook page fans by 1,269.

Increased my Twitter followers by 1,570.

Increased my blog traffic by 24% (comparing October 2016 to October 2017).

Created a user-friendly “Start Here” page to organise my content and help readers find what they’re looking for.

Started and maintained a Pinterest Account, and designed beautiful pins to promote my posts.

Made a page and a Google Form for guest post submissions, and worked with guest authors to create blog posts.

Wrote several guest posts that were published on relevant websites in my niche.

What If I Miss a Day?

How I Make The Most of My 30 Minutes a Day

Here’s how I make my 30 minutes really count:

I put my phone away so I’m not distracted. If I whittle away the 30 minutes checking Facebook notifications, I won’t get another chance to work on my blog until the following day.

I listen to classical music on my headphones because it tunes everything out and helps me stay focused.

This simple habit has helped my blogging enormously, and might help you if you’re busy and struggling to find time to blog.

Bio:

The post Case Study: The 30-Minute Habit That Transformed Kelly’s Blog appeared first on ProBlogger.

Case Study: The 30-Minute Habit That Transformed Kelly’s Blog published first on http://ift.tt/2u73Z29

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karenkerschmann · 7 years ago

Text

4 CBT Based Tips for Overcoming Perfectionism this Holiday Season

The extra demands combined with the typical stress around the holidays can cause most of us to fall into the trap rigid thinking and the belief that all needs to be absolutely idyllic in order to be happy. If you struggle with anxiety, this season can be an especially difficult time. Perfectionism is something cognitive behavioral therapists see often; here are some good CBT-based tips on how to help yourself during the rest of 2017

Do Not Strive For Perfect

Perfectionism is a self-imposed unrealistic expectation and the subsequent stringent judgments

on you, others, or a situation. Since you are with yourself every day, you see every mistake you make, so we tend to have quite a long checklist of our real and perceived mishaps. When you listen to these thoughts and take them seriously, you become hypercritical of ourselves and begin to put more weight on the negative aspects of oneself. This inevitably leads to depression, low-self esteem, and a sense of frustration, which isn’t useful to you or your loved ones.

When you find yourself revisiting that list of mistakes, it’s time to combat them by using this popular CBT technique termed a ‘positive data log’. By writing down events that were ‘good enough’, or events that were just fine in spite of being imperfect you begin to be more flexible, and your all or nothing mindset can be reduced.

Stop Comparing

With so many social media apps, unrealistic advertising and media, it’s impossible to not compare your life with just a small, idealized sample of other’s. If you are a perfectionist, it’s not always easy to remember to take a step back and assess reality. When we engage in comparison, we typically measure ourselves next to someone we already think is ‘better’ in some way or another. However, all that time comparing can have real consequences. A recent study among Facebook and Twitter users in the UK showed 62% feel inadequate and 60% feel jealous when using social media. The same study found half of participants from 18-34 felt ugly due to their time online.

Are co-workers, ex’s, or family on social media fueling your feelings of inadequacy and stress? If you want to kick perfectionism to the curb, you want to turn off your phone, un-follow your “competition”, and kindly remind yourself that social media is not a representation of reality, even if just over the holidays.

Temper Family Expectations

It likely doesn’t need to be said that family can cause a lot of distress around the holidays, and even more so when you expect them to be ideal. There is already enough pressure around this time of the year without adding perfectionism to the mix. Remember, you can’t control the actions of your family, but you can control your own. Part of walking the walk is that you can identify and reduce acting and thinking in ways that are not productive.

It is similar to entering your debit card pin at a checkout. You are in a hurry, and for some reason your pin won’t work. However, instead of admitting defeat and using another card, you continue to enter the same pin. Your blood pressure is rising, as is that of the cashier and the people behind you in line. All of this stress and anxiety could have been avoided if you simply stopped repeating the same unproductive habits and expectations.

Beat Perfectionism by Shifting Perspectives- An Experiment in CBT

On days when everything goes wrong, take a minute to consider how much worse things could be to shift your negative perspective. The following are three other tricks to engage your positive lens.

1.Incorporate a daily gratitude practice. According to CBT research, gratitude improves mental health, emotional health, sleep, and self-esteem. Each morning, night, or both write down 5 things you are grateful for, and that is all.

2. Acknowledge Your Power. Cognitive behavioral therapists emphasize that it’s vital to recognize that we all have control to choose our perspectives. In fact, we choose which thoughts to pay attention to already, so reorienting yourself to the positive can add more value and warmth to the way you experience this season.

3.Take a Breather. Meditation is helpful not only in shifting perspectives but reducing perfectionism and anxiety. You don’t have to sit and hum for an hour to meditate. Check out this blog to find useful techniques: Can’t Meditate? Think Again: 10 of the Best CBT Hacks to Trick Your Brain into Bliss.

In Part 3 of this 4-part series, I’ll be discussing cognitive behavioral approaches to coping with loneliness over the holidays. As always, please let me know how these tips work for you. Other ideas? Please share. Enjoy the rest of your month and have fun trying these tips! What to know more about cognitive behavioral therapy? Click here for an FAQ: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy/CBT in San Diego

The post 4 CBT Based Tips for Overcoming Perfectionism this Holiday Season appeared first on Cognitive Behavioral Therapist- Karen Kerschmann, LCSW.

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