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cultven · 25 days ago

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Charlie Gets a Girlfriend

Charlie Kelly X Reader

Summary: Charlie gets a girlfriend who finally doesn't think he is gross or weird. Naturally, The Gang has to investigate this girl for themself, and what's a better time than during one of their dates?

Word Count: 3.4k

a/n: There are not enough non-smut iasip fanfics, so I took matters into my own hands, enjoy! requests are open...

2:45 pm

ON A THURSDAY

PHILADELPHIA

“Dennis I’m telling you, we gotta go to this new bar! Scope out our competition.”

“Mac it’s a gay bar, I don’t wanna be seen there.”

“Yeah! But-”

“Guys! Guys!” Charlie barges into Paddy’s breathless as if he had just run from his apartment to the bar. As usual, the rest of The Gang, minus Frank, was wasting the day away drinking at the counter. “This girl… we went out... I think I’m in love…” Charlie’s speech comes out in quick huffs as he tries to manage his breathing.

“That’s great Charlie, but Dennis! I swear you won’t regret going to this bar with me!” Mac pointedly ignored Charlie, turning back to his roommate.

“Mac, it just sounds to me like you want an excuse to go to a gay bar.”

“What? No dude! It’s just-”

“Guys!” Charlie’s roar finally snapped the other guys out of their conversation. “Aren’t you proud of me? I finally got over the waitress just like you said I should! I found the love of my life!” The Gang only sent questioning looks to Charlie’s wide grin. He seemed genuinely happy about this girl, not hinting at ulterior motives for going out with her.

“Charlie, what the hell are you talking about? What girl?” Dee chirped, wiping down some glasses on the bar.

“Look, I met this chick and oh my God she is beautiful.” Charlie gushed, his body language visibility getting giddier by the moment. “I asked her out and she said yes, it was awesome!”

“Right, okay, and how much paint did you huff this morning?” Dennis lazily looked in Charlie’s direction, mocking him with his words and gaze.

“What? Guys no, she’s like seriously totally real!” Charlie began rummaging around his pocket. He pulled out a small keychain, one that had a tacky-looking bear on the end of it with a bow. It was clearly cheap and on the verge of falling off the chain at any moment, but Charlie seemed proud of its appearance. “Look! She even won us matching keychains at the arcade yesterday!” Charlie beamed at his friends who appeared less than impressed at the display.

“If she’s so real then you should bring her around the bar, Charlie,” Dee suggested, half smirking at the idea. In The Gang’s mind, there was no way a real woman would put up with Charlie’s idiocy. Unless she was equally as stupid. Or ugly, she could be hideous.

At this suggestion Charlie began to avoid eye contact, looking anywhere but his friends, which amused them and only solidified their preconceived notion of this woman not being real. “Well, I don’t know…”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Dennis taunted, clearly amused by how this conversation was unfolding.

“Well, you guys are kind of always really mean to me, and also degrade me. I just don’t want her to think I’m some kind of punching bag.” Charlie’s foot absentmindedly scuffed the ground.

Mac piped up, “But you are a punching bag.”

“I just want her to think I’m strong and cool okay?!” The Gang understands Charlie’s sediment, they weren’t exactly the kindest to him on any occasion. If he brought a girl in here they certainly would rip into him until they inevitably left a bad impression on her.

“Look,” Dennis began, “If you don’t want us to meet this chick then why are you wasting our time by telling us about her?”

This question caused Charlie to smile, eventually forming into a smug expression. “I just wanted to brag that good old Charlie got a hot girlfriend before any of you losers did.” The Gang seems unimpressed, clearly still not entirely buying her existence.

“Look, if this chick is actually real I bet she’s hideous or stupid to be dating you, Charlie,” Dennis said in a dismissing way.

This aggravated Charlie. Of course, The Gang doesn’t care, why did he even bother coming here to tell them? He had hoped that for once maybe they would have congratulated him on his feat. “Look, you can insult me all you want, but don’t insult her!” All Charlie got in response was a silent Dee and Mac paired with an eye roll from Dennis. “Fine, if you guys don’t care then I’m gonna go hang out with my girl. She at least appreciates me!” And with that, Charlie storms out of Paddy’s.

It was quiet for a bit, Dee resuming her cleaning while Dennis and Mac picked up their conversation from before. “Hey guys, do you think Charlie actually has a girlfriend?” Dee asked while she was finishing up.

“Who cares?” Dennis stated. “It’s probably some homeless girl he found under the bridge or in the sewers. If she’s dating Charlie she must be some sort of gross creature.”

“Probably, but I’m still curious.” Dee imagined all the potentially horrible aspects of this girl. Images of a woman with missing teeth and tattered clothes came into her mind. She obviously hasn’t showered in weeks and smells horrid, much how like Charlie typically did. Then, an idea popped into her head. “Wait, Charlie said he was going out with this girl today, right? Maybe we could do some stalking to see what she’s really like.”

“If she’s even real,” Dennis adds. “But, that might not be a bad idea. I’d like to see this broad for myself.”

“Yeah! And then I can visually access her to see if she is a threat!” Mac seems excited about the idea. It was settled, The Gang would see if Charlie’s girlfriend was a suitable match for their eccentric and grotesque friend.

—-----------------

Charlie nearly dents your door with how much force he knocks with. It was a pleasant surprise for him to come visit you, and he seems more than excited to see you again, even if it’s only been fifteen hours since you’ve last seen each other.

“Hey, Charlie.” You smile, “What’s up?”

“Hey,” Adoration is dripping from his voice, he could hardly believe you were real. “I was just wondering if you wanted to go to the fair with me! I heard it was in town so…” Charlie’s voice trails off but he still looks at you expectantly.

“Sure! I just have to change real quick. Wanna pop inside?” You move to the side to allow Charlie access to your apartment. A wide, cheesy smile takes over his face as he enters, quietly thanking you. He’s relieved in a way. He didn’t think that you would say no to his invitation, but some small part of him expected it. He’s used to rejection and teasing, not warmth and acceptance. It was new and something he was slowly learning, but certainly not unwelcome. He settled on your couch with perfect posture, obviously trying his hardest to seem proper. You only giggled at his attempts and told him he could make himself at home, which visibly made his shoulders relax a bit.

While you were gone he scanned your small apartment. Charlie was a relatively talented stalker, but he hasn’t found a good way into your apartment yet. You lived in a decent building so getting past the security measures wasn’t easy, but he would eventually find a way. Most he’s seen was glimpses through your windows, getting a general layout. But now that he was inside, he could finally get a good look at your home. It wasn’t anything lavish, but it was certainly cleaner than his apartment. You had a small kitchen which you’ve mentioned you love baking in, something Charlie was looking forward to exploiting in the future. He loves his sweets, and yours probably tastes better than any he’s had before. There are a few photographs, but most are of your childhood pets or scenery. There is only one photo of what Charlie could guess was your family. It sat on the edge of a mantel, almost hidden from sight. Charlie examined the image, taking in all of the faces. Perhaps one day he would be fortunate to meet them.

Before Charlie could snoop further, you step out of your bedroom wearing a cute sundress. It was a nice day out and you wanted to dress appropriately. You almost laughed at the way Charlie looked like a deer in headlights, clearly looking around and making himself at home like you had said. “You ready to go, tiger?” Charlie nodded absentmindedly, clearly staring at your body in the dress. You looked absolutely gorgeous to him, the color of your sundress bringing out the color of your eyes. It was strange, he typically didn’t notice these things about people, but it seemed you were changing him in all the right ways. Your bright smile of confusion knocked Charlie back into reality.

“Yep! Let’s go!” Charlie exclaimed, his excitement shining through his demeanor. He grabs your hand and practically runs the two of you down the stairs. The walk on the way to the fair was long but sweet. Charlie would constantly stop to pick up the “treasures” on the ground, even gifting you the ones he considered to be real finds. In reality, it was just someone’s trash he was picking up and admiring, but you found it to be charming, how he could find the value in anything. He certainly had a creative mind and it was refreshing to see someone with such a positive outlook on things. You eventually made it, pockets now full of trinkets.

The first thing Charlie sees when entering is the carnival games, particularly the game where you throw balls at bottles. “Oh! I’m so good at these things! I have lots of practice throwing rocks at people and trains and dogs.” He ushers you over to the game, a thrill oozing from his words. The last part of his statement mildly concerned you, but you followed nonetheless. You knew you were never in danger with Charlie around. Charlie hands the man at the booth a $5 bill, turning to you. “I’ll win you a prize! I’m the master at this game after all.”

—-----------------

“What the shit?” Dee cursed, crammed behind a nearby bush with her brother and his idiot roommate. “That girl is not ugly at all.”

“No, no she is not…” Dennis comments, trying to get a better look at your assets. “This chick is gorgeous, which makes it weirder that she would willingly want to hang out with Charlie.” Dennis leaned further out of the tiny bush. The three of them were not hidden, the bush was incredibly too small for them, but it was clear you and Charlie were too enamored in each other to notice.

“Maybe she’s getting paid to date him?” Mac suggested as fellow pedestrians stared at their ridiculous behavior. However, as per usual The Gang was shameless in their endeavors.

“Yeah totally. I can almost smell Charlie from here.” Dee forged a face of disgust at the thought of Charlie’s hygiene, wondering how you could stand to be in such close proximity to the man.

“Hey guys,” Dennis started, giving the other two the look he usually gives when he comes up with a ruthless plan. “Why don’t we go introduce ourselves? I mean, if Charlie is really serious about this chick then she should be introduced to his friends?” A jumble of agreements falls from Dee and Mac as they all exchange psychotic looks. They’re not going to be mean to the girl, just show her the kind of people Charlie surrounds himself with.

—-----------------

Charlie was now $20 poorer and still empty-handed from the ball toss game. You eventually had to usher him away from the game after he began cursing out the man operating the booth, consoling Charlie on his loss and assuring him it was definitely rigged. He seemed to appreciate your comforts and decided to put his small grudge on the carney on the backburner for now. Ruining this date was the last thing he wanted to do.

The two of you walked hand in hand, Charlie’s palm getting increasingly sweatier as time passed. You chalked it up to nerves, but that could also just be how his body normally functions. It was nice being around Charlie, he had an amazing sense of humor and never judged you in any way. For the first time in a long history of dating you felt like you could finally be unapologetically yourself. Any insecurity or weird interest you had, Charlie made sure to make you feel adored and seen. He was quite honestly the most charming man you’ve ever talked to because of his quirks. Your friends disagreed after showing them a selfie you two had taken, but what did they know?

Thinking further about Charlie you turn your head to smile at him, but he seems to be preoccupied with something he saw in the distance. You could have sworn you heard him curse under his breath before redirecting where the two of you were walking. “Charlie? I thought you wanted popcorn?” You question, actively walking away from the booth selling popcorn.

“Yeah, I changed my mind. You like caramel apples, right?” He seemed timid, his wary smile not quite meeting his eyes.

You nod at the comment, “I do, but I wanted to treat you to something you like! Since you spent all that money trying to win me a prize and all.”

Charlie simply shrugged off your concern, finding it sweet that you wanted to do something for him, but more nervous about the situation at hand. “Candy apples, popcorn, they’re all good to me! I think you forgot I eat literal trash.” You giggle at the comment, then grimace a bit at the thought. You probably need to buy him a new toothbrush. Or a toothbrush period.

Charlie kept tugging you along, seemingly avoiding something. After around five minutes of him dodging your comments and not slowing down for anything you dig your feet in the ground causing the two of you to stop. Charlie looks back at you with a nervous, questioning smile. “Okay Charlie, what is going on?”

“Haha, what’re you talking about?” Charlie asks, not bothering to hide the fact he is scanning the area around you two.

“What am I talking about?” You parrot, “Maybe the fact you are acting like we’re on the run from the cops?” At his still anxious expression you consider your words for a second before adding on with a whisper, “Are we running from the cops?” Your face was close to his, close enough that you could feel his breath on yours. Charlie sighs in defeat before giving in.

“No, it’s worse than cops. It’s my asshole friends trying to ruin the only good thing in my life yet again.”

“How are they your friends if they ruin your life?” It seemed strange, but then again nothing you’ve learned about Charlie’s life sounded normal. His living conditions, his odd roommate that you learned may or may not be his biological father, and the bar he works at was definitely out of the ordinary.

“It’s complicated, just don’t think about it too much.” Charlie looks down at your still intertwined hands, contemplating what to do next. “I just don't want them to make you see how weird or gross I am.”

“Charlie I’m sure-” Your sweet words were cut off by three breathless people chanting Charlie’s name, running up to you two.

“Charlie!”

“Charlie there you are!”

“Hey, buddy! Funny running into you here!”

They were all equally loud and crazy-eyed. There were two men and one woman, you assumed these were the asshole friends Charlie had referred to. They all shamelessly eyed you up and down in an almost judging manner, to which you only replied with a hesitant smile.

“Oh, hey! You must be the girl Charlie was talking about.” The girl addressed you first. She was tall and blonde, staring at you with intimidating bird-like eyes.

You began, “Yeah, I’m-”

The brown-haired man next to her interrupted your introduction, “Wow, Charlie. What a catch. You’re certainly easy on the eyes.” He was clearly checking you out, purring his words with a flirtatious tone. It was mocking in a way. “How did you land such a catch? You know, with your disgusting hygiene habits. You know he goes into sewers naked?” The man stared at you with wide eyes, more than likely expecting a large reaction out of you, to which you only blinked in his direction.

“Right, well-”

Another man cut you off, this time with slick black hair. God damn these people did not allow anyone but themselves to get a word in. “Hey! If you guys are done at this stupid boring fair you should definitely come back to Paddy’s!” His words were now solely directed towards you, “That’s our bar, y’know. We own it. Charlie does too but he’s basically just our janitor. We call it the Charlie work, it’s very gross.” You only half-heartedly nod. No wonder Charlie was so anxious, these guys are dickheads. Speaking of your scraggly boyfriend, you turn your head to see him practically fuming next to you. You knew if you didn’t intervene now things would turn a whole lot uglier.

“Ok, well, it was um, wonderful meeting you three, but,” You discreetly take Charlie’s hand in yours, taking a few steps back. “We actually have dinner reservations so we have to leave now.” It was a lame excuse, but anything to get out of here.

“Oh perfect! I’m starved,” The blonde began. “Where are we eating?”

“Actually it’s only a table for two, sorry! Maybe I’ll see you guys again! Bye!” You half-yell as you actively usher Charlie away from the scene back to your apartment.

“What a bitch.” Dee casually said as the other two agreed.

—-----------------

The walk home was quiet, which was strange as Charlie always found one thing or another to talk about. He was still silently mortified next to you, deep into his own mind. He was convinced you would never want to hang out with him again after hearing how his friends spoke about him today. Charlie knew you were aware of most of those things, but what if hearing them from another person changed your mind about things? He felt light-headed thinking of how you’d never talk to him again after this.

Eventually, you made it into your apartment building and to your door. Charlie was about to admit defeat and simply walk away before you take hold of his arm. “Charlie?” For the first time since his friends showed up, he looked into your eyes. In them, you only found anxiety and sorrow.

“I’m sorry about today, it was supposed to be nice.”

“Oh Charlie, it was still an amazing day, don’t worry about what your stupid friends said.” You cooed, but it didn’t seem to change much in his mind.

“I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t wanna go out anymore. I am pretty gross.”

“That’s stupid,” You began, “I mean, you may have some non-hygienic habits, but it’s just a part of who you are! It makes you stand out from the crowd.” You move closer to your boyfriend, hands now cupping both of his cheeks. Charlie learned into your palms, drinking up every moment of physical touch between you two. “Charlie you’re such a unique soul and you’re so kind to me. I wouldn’t change a single thing about you because then you wouldn’t be my Charlie anymore, you would be someone else.” You could see Charlie’s eyes slowly light up at your words, almost as if he’d never heard a kind word to or about him in his life.

“You mean it? You really wanna keep seeing me?” Your hands leave his face, which makes Charlie think the worst, but your lips quickly take their place on his cheek.

“See you tomorrow?” You smile sweetly, causing Charlie to enthusiastically nod as you enter your apartment and softly shut the door. From inside your living room, you can hear his yell of triumph and only a few minutes later you can see him from your window practically skipping down the street in joy. You chuckle to yourself, you really did score with him. His friends, however, are a completely different story. You just hope you won’t have to see them too often. But knowing Charlie’s background, you’re sure they’ll only become more of a nuisance with him.

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uses-for-fics · 2 months ago

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I’m Yours | Manny Rivera

ft Jack Griffin

YN had been heading to the art room to grab some supplies for a class project. Her students are working on creating a skeletal system out of construction paper, combining biology with hands-on creativity.

As YN rummaged through the art room shelves, she heard a voice behind her. “Need any help?”

Startled, she spined around to see Manny, a warm smile on his face. Without missing a beat, she blurts, “If I’d known the school board was visiting today, I wouldn’t have left the kids in charge of the classroom!”

Manny raised an eyebrow, chuckling nervously. "Wait… they’re not actually alone, are they?"

She grinned and shook her head. "Relax, they’re at recess. Mr. Gregory offered to watch my class while I grabbed the supplies."

Manny lets out a relieved laugh and glances at the stack of construction paper and glue sticks in her arms. "Need some help with that?"

"Sure," YN replies with a smile, and Manny grabs a few supplies to lighten her load. As they walk back to her classroom, they fall into easy conversation. Manny teases her about her creative lesson plans, and the topic shifts to their dinner plans for that evening.

“I’m excited for tonight,” Manny says, his tone warm. “You’ve been opening up more, and I’m really glad you’re letting me into your space.”

YN smiles softly. “Thanks for being patient with me. It means a lot. You don’t mind taking it slow?”

“Not at all,” he replies sincerely. As they approached her classroom door, YN hesitated, a playful smile tugging at her lips. “Would it be wildly inappropriate if I kissed you at school?”

Manny grins, then gently lifts her hand to his lips, placing a light kiss on it. “How about this for now?” he says, his voice low and affectionate.

YN blushes, their connection palpable even in the brief moment. She opens the door, and they part ways as she prepares to dive back into teaching, already looking forward to the evening ahead.

Later that evening, YN and Manny are enjoying a cozy dinner at her house. The conversation flows easily, with YN recounting her day at school while Manny listens attentively. She giggles as she tells him about a student who glued the construction paper bones to his face instead of the paper skeleton. "But," she laughs, "he got all the bones in the right place, so I gave him a B+ for effort."

Manny chuckles, shaking his head. "That’s one creative way to learn anatomy." As he reaches across the table to hold her hand, YN moves to take his hand in hers but accidentally knocks over his glass of water, spilling it all over his shirt.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” she says, jumping up.

“It’s fine,” Manny reassures her, laughing.

“I think I have an oversized tee somewhere,” she says, heading toward her bedroom. "You can change into that." Manny follows her, amused by her flustered energy. While YN rummages through her dresser, she waves toward the closet. “Feel free to look in there if you want to see if anything works for you.”

As she’s searching, Manny calls out, “Hey, I didn’t know you were a cardigan person! This one’s really comfy!” She turns to see him standing shirtless, wearing an old burgundy cardigan that’s clearly a size too big for her. Manny’s grinning, doing a little spin. “Wow, it even fits me!”

YN stares for a moment before rushing over. “Oh no, Manny, not that one. You shouldn’t wear that.”

Feigning offense, he asks, “What, does it look bad on me?”

She sighs, sitting on the edge of her bed. “It’s not that… It was my ex-boyfriend’s. I forgot I even had it.” Manny immediately softens, sitting beside her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Want to talk about it?”

She hesitates, then begins to open up. “His name was Jack Griffin. We worked at the same school in Toledo. I taught biology, and he taught AP Bio. He was brash, cynical… and, well, magnetic. It was one of those fiery, all-consuming relationships, but it just wasn’t healthy. He was too controlling, too cynical about everything, and he wanted to move faster than I was ready for. I had to end it. He tried to play it off like it was mutual so he could save face, but…” Her voice trails off, and she shakes her head, embarrassed. “Sorry, I’m saying way too much.”

Manny rubs her shoulder gently. “It’s okay. I’m glad you’re comfortable enough to tell me. That stuff’s important.” He stands up and removes the cardigan, setting it aside. Spotting an oversized tee with a Paddy’s Pub logo, he grins. “This will do nicely.” He pulls it on and stretches his hand out to her. “How about we go finish dinner and watch a movie? Your choice.”

She takes his hand and kisses it softly. “Thank you for being so perfect.” The night ends with the two of them cuddled on her couch, accidentally falling asleep while watching Wallace and Gromit. Plates of half-eaten dessert and a shared blanket are the only witnesses to their growing bond.

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sofmoth · 4 months ago

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Smooth Stuff

for her birthday, @strang3lov3 challenged me to write dennis reynolds, and to use his DENNIS system on the reader. naturally i’m nervy because who can do dennis but glenn howerton honestly??? and genuinely not to suck myself off but i feel like i met the brief LMAO

this is for all us dennisfuckers, dennisfucker nation stand up!!!

also posted to AO3 by me (@sofmoth), link here.

divider created by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

dennis reynolds x reader. WC: 2.3k

DO NOT BOTHER INTERACTING IF YOUR BIO IS AGELESS OR BLANK.

18+ ONLY. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED ON SIGHT.

HEED ALL WARNINGS:

DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT. dennis is a literal sociopath, dennis is manipulative, dennis manipulates reader for sex, dubcon, reader is psychologically tortured, sober sex with a drunk person, reader gets drunk, canon-typical dennisisms, no confirmed relationship, use of the DENNIS system, smut. once more for the cheap seats, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT.

“My name’s Dennis, I’m collecting donations for the Boys & Girls Club.”

That’s how it started. He’d come in to ask if there were any old toys your store was about to throw out, and if you would consider donating them instead. Unfortunately not, you’d told him, but you were pretty sure you had a phone number he could call and he might have some luck with that. You’d written it down on a Post-It for him with the name of the person he should ask for, and then you handed him a Post-It with your name and number. You’d never been so bold before; something about him inspired that in you.

He called you every other night, and you talked for a few hours each time. It felt like nothing, talking to Dennis was as easy as breathing. He was charming, and funny, and he actually listened to you bitch about the day you had at work instead of interrupting every 38 seconds to talk about himself. Friday night, near the end of your call, he asked if you’d ever been to a restaurant called Guigino’s. He’ll be taking you on Sunday.

You don’t know why you’re so nervous walking to the restaurant with him; you’ve gotten pretty comfortable with him over the phone. He can probably sense your anxiety, hooking his arm into yours as you walk. You hear it before you see it, Dennis groans and you look up. A sign on the door reads CLOSED, and Dennis holds his face in his hand. He sighs, biting the inside of his cheek.

“Unbelievable, I’m sorry. How about we take a rain check on this? We can grab a pizza or something and head back to my place, watch a movie? My roommate’ll be there but he keeps to himself. If that’s okay with you, of course.” You hum, bite your lip.

“Okay. It’s still Italian.” You stifle a nervous giggle and Dennis chuckles, wrapping his arm over your shoulder as you continue down the street.

As the apartment door opens you can see a man sitting on the couch, reading a book with the TV barely on. He must be Dennis’s roommate. Dennis clears his throat.

“Hey man. Do you mind taking that to your room? The restaurant was closed, we’d like to… y’know, get to know each other a bit. In private.”

“I’m not going in there.” Dennis’s jaw twitches.

“Why not?”

“I saw a black widow. I’m not going back in there.”

Dennis sighs, looks over at you.

“I mean, I guess we could take this to my room? Eat on the bed, watch a DVD in there?” You nod and he relaxes, smiling at you.

You sit on top of his covers with the pizza box between you, eating absently as you attempt to follow the movie. You’re not entirely sure what it is, but you think you recognize a few of the actors. You feel Dennis’s knee touch yours, looking over at him.

“Pretty good pizza.” He closes the box.

“Not the only good thing I’m looking at.”

God damn, does he fuck. You almost feel bad for his roommate, though the thought is immediately pushed from your mind as the head of his cock borderline bruises your cervix. His hand on your throat stifles your moans, your eyes roll back from the sensation. You’re practically folded in half, knees pressed closer to your shoulders than you ever thought possible, your arms around his neck as he kisses you messily.

Your legs start to tremble, toes curling as you feel the tension building in your belly. You knot your fingers in his hair, tugging hard as your back arches into his chest and you begin to see stars. He doesn’t slow down, if anything he fucks you harder, tears pricking at your lashes as the stimulation toes the line of too much. You silently thank God he had condoms, glad he won’t have to pull out and finish on you. His pace falters, hips stuttering as he grates out a near-rapturous “Oh, fuck.”

He pants against your neck, wincing as he pulls out. You prop yourself up on your elbows, legs still shaking You look him up and down, the sheen of sweat on his forehead and the wild look in his eyes nearly doing you in again. He tosses the spent condom down into the wastebasket by his nightstand, pulling his boxers up and laying on his back next to you. You look over at him, raising an eyebrow. He raises one back at you.

“Oh, really?”

The next evening after work, you find one of your tires almost completely deflated. You groan, inspecting the rubber and locating a sizable screw lodged between the treads. Fucking fantastic. You sigh, chewing on your lip. You’ve only been talking with him for a little over a week, and you don’t want to seem too needy, but you call Dennis anyway. Maybe he’ll be able to give you a ride to the auto shop at least.

He’s there in no time, happy to help. He even offered to change the tire for you. As he stands he wipes his hands on his jeans, kissing you quickly before replacing the jack in your trunk. You feel your cheeks heating up, a grin tugging at the corner of your mouth.

“I’ve got some stuff to do this week, so how about we go to Guigino’s next week?”

“Sounds good to me. You free that Friday?” He smiles at you.

“Yes, I am. How does 7 sound?”

“That’ll be great. Give me a call when you’ve got time, I’ll see you.” You enter your car, starting the engine as he backs away and raises a hand to you.

You notice he watches you leave the parking lot before leaving himself. That’s the first time any man has bothered to make sure nothing else happened to you. Dennis calls that night, you talk for a bit before you both decide to go to bed. The next two days follow the same routine, but the third day he doesn’t call. You feel a bit dejected, and by 8:30 you’re two glasses of wine deep, nearly ready to go to bed. Your phone rings and you’re wide awake again, picking up without checking the caller ID.

“Hello?” You’re met only with the sound of heavy breathing. “Hello? Who is this?”

“I know where you are, you dirty slut. I’m gonna gut you like a fish.”

You hang up, throwing the phone almost across the living room. Your hands shake and you stand slowly, walking carefully over lest it ring and be the same man on the other end again. You call Dennis, and as he picks up you can’t control your tears attempting to explain what just happened. He arrives at your apartment shortly, holding you on the couch as you try to calm down. He offers to stay the night and you insist he doesn’t have to, he insists he wants to if it’ll make you feel safer. You gratefully accept.

Your week is filled with mishaps and threatening calls, notes left on your car in your apartment and work lots. You tell him the only person you can think of who would do this to you is your batshit crazy ex, so Dennis comes to visit for a bit most evenings. Dennis has to cancel your plans for Guigino’s, and as he leaves he kisses you at the door with a promise that he’ll call you.

He doesn’t call. You try to only call him once a day, leaving simple and short voicemails. The threatening calls start again and you try to get ahold of Dennis, still to no avail. You spend the next week almost too afraid to set foot outside, but you have obligations that must be met, phone stalker or not. By the end of the week you’ve given up. You didn’t expect this from him, don’t know what prompted it. You can’t tell whether you were too clingy, or perhaps you weren’t paying him the attention he deserved. You sit on your couch, already down three glasses of wine and working on your fourth when a knock on your door startles you.

You lean against the peephole, trying to make out who it is. Dennis. You groan quietly, holding your face in your hands. You sigh deeply, pulling the door open to face him directly. His shoulders are slack, he looks sad.

“Can I come in?” You gesture him inside, he sits on the couch and eyes the wine bottle. “I know I’ve been distant. I’m sorry.”

You sit next to him, picking up your wine glass and finishing it in one long swig.

“I just wanted to explain myself. Listen, I was being a coward. I was afraid. I’ve had my heart broken so many times, and you’re too good for me. I was scared it was gonna happen again and I was gonna lose the best thing that’s happened to me in ages, so I did a really shitty thing and cut you out before you could do it to me. That was awful of me.”

You rub your temple, sighing through your nose as he talks.

“I… I’m not afraid of that anymore. I thought about it really hard, and being away from you this week has been killing me. I wanna be with you. I love spending time with you and talking to you, when I have a bad day getting to talk to you makes it feel like it never even happened. Please, give me another chance.”

Maybe it’s the wine, maybe it’s the stress you’ve been under, but the sincerity in his eyes knocks down every emotional barricade you put up. How exactly you got into bed with him is a blur, but you remember Dennis pulling you up at some point as you made out on the couch. This isn’t like the first time you fucked him, he’s taking his time with you now.

Your eyelids flutter as he lays kisses to your neck and chest, peeling your shorts away as you toss your tank top across the room. You can’t keep your hands off of him, fingers digging into the flesh of his back as he removes his shirt. He kisses you deeply, you hear the harsh sound of his zipper and he pulls away for a moment to remove his jeans. He’s back over you in an instant, hips grinding into yours evenly.

You make out slowly, fingers tangled in each other’s hair as he continues dry humping you. His pace begins quickening, his breathing becoming shallow. You’re both getting desperate, and you push his hand down to the waistband of your panties. He removes them without hesitation, pulling away from you once again only to push down his boxers. He reaches over to your nightstand, fishing around in the drawer for a condom.

You could cry when you finally feel him push inside you, the slow roll of his hips into yours making your eyes nearly cross and your back arch. One arm holds him up just above your torso, his other hand grips your hip. You can feel his teeth and tongue on your neck and clavicle, whining at the soft bites he lays down. The hand on your hip comes up to your chest and you gasp as he squeezes, his thumb grazing your nipple as he wraps his lips around the other. The wet heat drives you fucking crazy; you bite down on your own hand to ground yourself.

Your hips start to sting, you don’t even know how long you’ve had your legs spread at this point. Dennis doesn’t seem anywhere near tired or finished, his speed increased and his grip on your skin even firmer. You wrap your legs around his waist, he moans openly and fucks you harder. It still isn’t as hard as your first hookup, but you imagine this is what finding religion feels like. You feel his hand snake down between your bodies, gasping at the sensation of his thumb circling your clit.

Your eyes start to water, breathing becoming jerky as you wrap your arms around his neck to pull him closer. His pelvis slams against yours, the speed and friction only pushing you closer to your orgasm. You whimper; the rubber band is about to snap, your stomach tenses and your thighs twitch. Dennis kisses you, hard, pounding into you and stopping abruptly. Your whine becomes a broken moan as he focuses his attention on your clit, tears falling as your entire body stiffens and relaxes from the relief your orgasm brings.

You moan again into his mouth and he continues fucking into you, and you can tell he’s close. Courteous, too. His speed is unrelenting, plowing into you so forcefully it almost hurts. He buries his cock inside you one final time, pressing his face into your tits and moaning raggedly. You almost wish you could feel him cum inside you, curious to experience the sensation. Dennis pants against your chest, squeezing your hip as you release his waist from the confinement of your calves.

He doesn’t move, holding his cock inside of you for what feels like hours. By the time he pulls out, you’re wracked by a wave of exhaustion. You can barely keep your eyes open, only vaguely aware of his movements as he throws away the condom and pulls the blankets over you both. You feel him stroke your hair and press a kiss to your cheek, and you think you hear him say something but you can’t quite understand him.

Your alarm scares you awake, on your one day off no less. You reach behind yourself, feeling only the mattress under your palm. You sit up, confused, listening for the sound of Dennis moving around anywhere in your apartment. The entire place is silent. You pull on enough clothes to cover yourself, walking to your window to look into the parking lot and searching for Dennis’s car. You don’t see it anywhere. You try to call him, immediately you’re met with the telltale chime ready to inform you you’ve dialed a disconnected phone number.

“Douchebag” doesn’t even begin to describe that motherfucker.

#i’m so glad you liked this bug happy birthday amiguita♡#dennis reynolds x reader #dennis reynolds fanfic #dennis reynolds fanfiction #it’s always sunny in philadelphia fanfiction #dead dove fic #fanfiction #fanfic #smut #dennis reynolds smut #birthday gift fic #gift fic #moth hollerin

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iasip-enthusiast-2 · 2 months ago

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I forget that the macden inflatable mattress scene exists in this reality and it’s not just a really strange fanfic I read one time

#like they really did that #actually there’s a lot of macden moments I can’t belive aren’t just fanfic #macdennis #iasip #its always sunny in philadelphia #its always sunny

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alastor-simp-page · 9 months ago

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I am in Love with Charlastor

Look at these cuties walking through cannibal town arm in arm. THEY ARE SO CUTE! HE'S SUCH A GENTLEMAN! OPENING THE DOOR FOR HER!! AHAHAHAHHAA

No kidding. You know what I'm done dancing around the daunting Charlastor ship. I'm just gonna do it.

Shoot me some prompts if you would like. But I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write it. It might be terrible BUT LETS DO IT! Starting with one-shots first, ha. I'm not that confident to plunge headfirst into a Charlastor fic YET.

I don't know why I love Charlastor. I think I love it more than RadioApple. It just has that exciting feeling to it. Two people on opposite sides of everything: the pessimist and the optimist (Obviously Charlie). The one who wouldn't hurt a fly and the one who would kill someone if they looked at them the wrong way. Charlie's smiles are sincere and she wears them all the time. Alastor's smiles are a way to deceive his enemies and he wears them all the time. The absolute sweetheart and the tall dark brooding psychotic gentleman. And for some reason they look so DAMN GOOD TOGETHER! And the ship is even more spicy because Lucifer despises Alastor.

I am not ashamed to admit it: I love the dramatics. Charlie and Alastor are meant for the stage. Why not have their lives together be a twisting turning show? (I do not want this in real life) ITS ROMANCE! GIVE ME THE DRAMA! GIVE ME THE ANGST!

Okay one more gif:

Side note its random but Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia is a FIRE SHOW! Oh ha I just realized Charlie is in this gif too. SEE CHARLIE SUPPORTS ME! CHARLIE MORNINGSTAR (Not Charlie Kelly) BELONGS WITH ALASTOR!

Damn it, I'm yapping on tumblr when I should be writing.

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macdennisnation · 1 day ago

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CHAPTER 2 IS OUT!!

SPILL YOUR GUTS

chapter 1: digital love

pairing: Mac McDonald/Dennis Reynolds

rating: Explicit

chapters: 1/2 (chapter 2 is already completed and will be posted next week!)

current word count: 13K

summary:

Mac burns hotter than any cigarette, any heady drink of whiskey, anything Dennis has ever encountered. Dennis hates him more and more with each passing minute. And the hate alone is enough to provide a gloriously glaring contradiction— almost like feeling. Real feeling. Something ugly and true that chips away at Dennis’ porcelain facade.

Or: Mac and Dennis deal with the aftermath & consequences of Johnny as we take a look back through the most defining moments of their relationship in non-chronological order.

#macdennis #macdennis fic #macdennis fanfic #macdennis fanfiction #dennis reynolds #mac mcdonald #mac iasip #dennis iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #mac x dennis #macden #it's always sunny in philadelphia fanfic #spill your guts

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laylajeffany · 8 days ago

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Hardly a Cliche | one-shot

Larissa Weems (Wednesday 2022) x Melissa Schemmenti (Abbott Elementary)

Rated: E WC: 32,000 Larissa Weems is recovering more emotionally than physically after being nearly murdered as the Nevermore board of education demands CEUs for her administrative 'blunders' from that night.

A conference in Philadelphia has her introduced to Melissa Schemmenti, who has just entered her bisexual awakening.

featuring: the Abbott Crew, Abbott kids, Sweet Cheeks, Italian home cooking, BINGO, and a grumpy Wednesday Addams at the end who knows exactly what her principal's been up to Read on AO3

#wednesday 2022 #abbott elementary #larissa weems #melissa schemmenti #I wrote this for me my beta and the maybe three other people who will read it and I DONT EVEN CARE #sometimes you set out to write a little 5k p w p and it gets away from you #larissa x melissa or can we call this merissa lmfao #writing Ava Coleman also was a highlight of my life and there WILL be more to come #hopefully a better crossover than the Always Sunny in Philadelphia crossover ep #fanfic update #crack ship #crossover

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mac-n-cheese-art · 1 year ago

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they are watching terrible home reno shows and making snarky comments (scene from my fic)

#ive never drawn OR written them before so this has been something new and fun #macdennis #mac n cheese art #art #my art #digital art #iasip #its always sunny in philadelphia #mac mcdonald #dennis reynolds #macden #macden fanfic

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pansyofthesouth · 2 years ago

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I love you Always Sunny title card generator

#Sometimes I feel like it's only sunny title card generator and me #Against the world #Iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #Always sunny #mac mcdonald #dennis reynolds #Macdennis #The first one is for a fanfic I'm making 👀

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bigcitymac · 2 months ago

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many, including myself, wonder how on earth the gang could've acquired a cybertruck. here's how:

mac and dennis were fucking nasty style in the back of a dubiously acquired cybertruck.

it was a bucket-list item, you see, to make love in a vehicle together. the fact of mac's having previously done so while he hadn't enraged dennis immensely, so he set about to righting the natural order of things. he needed to wash the memory of mac's previous vehicular endeavours from the other man's brain, so dennis planned an encounter so intensely sexual it would have to be excluded from the 'dennis reynolds: an erotic life' sequel (working title: 'dennis reynolds 2 erotic for tv') that was in the works. so dangerous and tantalizing that not even the triple x sites would have anything to do with it.

it was to be hot and wet and gut-wrenching, a decadent scene of slippery oil and blood and sweat and tears, that would blow any of mac's history out of the water. but it couldn't take place in the range rover, of course not, that was too high brow for the likes of mac and the things dennis would do to him. a cybertruck was the next obvious choice, and dennis knew just where to get it.

so, dennis made some calls, made some threats, and made some love, not necessarily in that order, but all the same it landed him inside the shockingly large-yet-cramped vehicle with mac utterly at his mercy. they were both lubricated up like marine birds after an oil spill, with vats of oil to spare in the truck bed, parked by a beautiful boat-ramp just off the river so they could make glorious, glorious love with a view of the sun setting over golden waves.

the cybertruck, not famed for its superior usability, encountered an issue where a software glitched caused the parking break to fail. so engrossed in their passionate lovemaking, neither mac nor dennis noticed the vehicle rolling until water began to rise against the windows. unable to withstand a single steel ball thrown with the measly force of a 50 year-old billionaire, the cybertruck's windows didn't stand a chance against the superior pressure of the schuylkill.

windows cracked and begun to leak, alerting the golden god and his most devout of their precarious situation. frantically they tried to plug the holes with some brand new, sweatshop-made paddy's pub official t-shirts (purchased for an unrelated scam but pertinent to the current scenario).

it was no use, the stainless steel monster was quickly taking on water. mac and dennis had no choice but to scramble through one of the broken windows, leaving their ill-gotten truck to sink beneath the unforgiving waves, oil, t-shirts, and all.

dripping in water, utterly nude, and not yet having reached the epic climax dennis had so carefully laid the groundwork for, the two men shared a knowing look as the enormous hunk of metal finally disappeared, shrugged, and, assuming the problem had taken care of itself, turned to find themselves a new car to break in.

what they didn't realize, however, was that the low quality oil perfectly preserved their fingerprints (and whole-body prints). that, alongside the dozen-or-so boxes of paddy's pub t-shirts, would be more than enough to convict not only the pair of them, but the rest of the gang, as well.

dennis had acquired the truck after blackmailing the owner of the company, the very man who he once had an erotic encounter with during their time at penn. once the glaringly shiny cybertruck was delivered, dennis of course was obligated to show it off to everyone, first and foremost, the gang. which he did with the utmost air of superiority, pleased that he had gotten himself (another) beautiful vehicle, but equally as pleased by getting to blackmail a scorned former lover. the gang were utterly awed and appropriately jealous, so dennis allowed them to check out the sweet ride before growing tired of their grubby hands all over his gleimmering new truck, and loading up with mac to go home.

the next day, as always, there was a scam to be done, so dennis, mac, and charlie climbed aboard the great, gleaming vessel and went about their plan. stop one was under the bridge to load up several large barrels of oil that charlie had stashed months previously -to what end, neither mac nor dennis could say. charlie and mac hauled in the oil while dennis watched from the sideline, critique their lifting form, ogling mac's muscled body, and examining his cuticles in turn.

charlie had some incomprehensible business to conduct with someone called 'shifty sullivan' and remained behind. mac and dennis left him behind with the twitchy-looking beanpole of a man and set off to their next stop; this being a back-alley between an illegally operating clothing manufacturer and a weed-infested strip of tarmac that was used for rickety, little, decades-old, private planes to take off from and land on. it was there that they picked up the boxes of paddy's pub t-shirts from a man with a thick accent who refused to let them inside the door.

goods acquired, mac and dennis patted themselves on the back and headed in the direction of home, closing the door on the man shouting after them about getting a 'guaranteed payment or else.'

their last stop was a boat-ramp not too terribly far from their apartment building.

a day after the sinking of the cybertruck, philadelphia residents began noticing a strange filmy quality to the water of the schuylkill river, absurd amounts of dead fish floating belly-up, and several heaping mounds of strange green material washing up on the shore. it was not long before police were called, and even shorter thereafter that a pair of tow-trucks hauled out the oversized, overweight, sunken cybertruck. the interior was oil-slick and stained with various bodily fluids, and a family of severely ill crabs living inside the open glove compartment.

in the frunk was a myriad of ropes, tape, zipties, and other items that police could only assume was supplies for a worryingly disturbing abduction.

understandably disturbed, philly's finest launched an investigation into their troubling recovery.

now, stainless steel is not fingerprint-resistant, so dee reynolds' abnormally large prints were not only highly prevalent all over the truck-body, but were, in fact, so large that it was not even a challenge for police to spot them.

charlie kelly's dna was retrieved from the several vats of oil in the bed. fingerprints, and strangely enough, dried saliva lined the rim of several of the containers.

an invoice issued to one frank reynolds was still perfectly preserved inside a plastic cover taped to the outside of one of the sodden cardboard boxes that also turned up ashore.

mac mcdonald was linked to the truck by way of an errant wallet containing: one expired id, three one-dollar bills, and a clearly aged business card from south philadelphia's leading gay bar with an out-of-service phone number scrawled on the back along with the message i won't tell if you won't ;)

dennis reynolds' name was on the ownership papers.

none of this investigation was actually needed, however, because a tall, slim, disgruntled man that claimed to be a mistreated business partner -from a business he adamantly refused to name- came to police unprompted to implicate all aforementioned criminals.

it was an open-and-shut case, in the end. the suspects were tried and sentence with expediency rarely seen from the philadelphia police and justice system. just like that, several misdemeanours were tacked on to the gang's already astonishingly lengthy records.

now, down one cybertruck and up 100 court-ordered hours of community service (and short one mind-blowing vehicular orgasm), the gang needed to find some suckers to scam into overstating actual served hours. it'd be tricky; there weren't that many people in the great city of philadelphia that remained un-scorned by the gang at some point or another.

within a few days, letters showed up, addressed to each of them, with a list of possible community service options:

1. volunteers at a fundraiser for children with terminal illness (rejected: 'what if we catch something and die!'),

2. collecting items and donations for the foodbank (rejected: 'i will not have people believing me to be one of the needy!'),

3. freeway cleanup (rejected: 'we did that already, boners. it blows. like mac.'),

4. volunteering at a local school (rejected: '100 hours with annoying little-- wait... you guys this actually might work!).

willard r. abbott elementary school: volunteer for a full day elementary school experience. engage in learning, games, activities and interact with both our bright young students and our passionate learning professionals. your time, skills and enthusiasm in volunteering, you help make our school and our city a vibrant and rewarding place to live, work and play.

it seemed too good to be true, a bunch of overworked teachers, too burnt out on dealing with their overflowing classes of ill-mannered children to spend too much time hassling volunteers. leaving said volunteers ample opportunity for various schemes and scams and slacking off in the background.

(what wouldn't be in the fine print was the multitude of cameras present at the school, which certainly posed an issue for on particular member of the gang with several bench warrants for sexual misconduct, a notable history of felonious behaviour, and a face that has been in the past likened to registered sex offender wendell albright.

this would leave dennis stranded and hopping from closest, to bathroom, back to closet to avoid said cameras, and worst of all, this would force dennis to relinquish scheme lead to mac, who, like the cybertruck, was not famed for his superior skill set despite loudly and constantly claiming to be the best.

what could possibly go wrong?)

------

(i'll be honest u guys, this really got away from me. but i was loling the entire time anyway. insp by this post, several tweets and other posts wondering where tf the gang could possibly get a cybertruck, and my own ponderings about this set of freaks and their particular hobbies. but in any event, i hope u enjoyed)

#i think about elonnis so much a thousand curses onto linked op for giving me the haunting thought #macdennis #iasip #abbott x iasip #it's always sunny at abbott elementary #it's always sunny in philadelphia #dennis reynolds #mac mcdonald #dee reynolds #charlie kelly #frank reynolds #iasip fanfic #iasip fic #it's always sunny in philadelphia fanfic #is it fanfic if its just basically stream of conscious wonderings? who know

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satansapostle6 · 9 months ago

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The Best Of The Worst | Charlie Kelly

Charlie Kelly noticed the pretty blonde girl just as Dennis Reynolds tried to make her into another one of his conquests.

Warnings: Mature themes/language. Violence. Sexual content.

Chapter Three

Chapter Four: Juliette Goes Insane

That night, Charlie was at Juliette’s apartment, watching movies. They were currently on Final Destination 5, after spending the week on the first four. It was pitch black in the apartment, and the only light in the room was coming from the TV. Charlie and Juliette were huddled under the blanket, enjoying the warmth in contrast to the coolness from the air conditioning, a perfect combination. Charlie’s arm was comfortably rested on the back of the couch behind Juliette.

It was 1 am. They were towards the end of the movie, just enjoying it as they each finished their fourth beer of the night. Charlie was feeling himself starting to fall asleep, and upon looking over at Juliette, he could see that she was getting tired too. She was beginning to lean into him, her leg resting beside his as he looked down at the blanket, self conscious. He and Juliette were touching. Was this okay? He had no idea.

Charlie gradually stopped paying attention to the movie, too aware of his position on the couch with Juliette. He didn’t want to take advantage of her in any way, or make her uncomfortable, and he was beginning to panic internally. But Juliette seemed fine. More than fine. She seemed to be fine with the way she was leaning into him.

In truth, Juliette had been feeling lonely as of late. She hadn’t spoken to many of her friends, not that she actually had many to speak to, and she didn’t necessarily have the best relationships with her family members. Charlie was truthfully becoming one of her favorite people, and she wasn’t exactly sure yet if that was a good thing or not. Juliette sighed sadly as she watched the movie, adjusting herself slightly underneath the blanket.

Charlie of course noticed this; he was always trying to be aware of how Juliette was feeling. He always wanted to make sure he could do something about it if she for some reason wasn’t happy.

“Are you comfortable?” he asked her.

She didn’t say anything for a moment, not quite sure if she should.

“Charlie?” she mumbled, disoriented and sleepy.

“Yeah?” he asked.

He expected her to ask him for something, or to tell him to move, but she ended up surprising him.

“Can you hold me?” she asked dreamily.

Charlie froze, thrown by the question. He thought for a quick second about whether she was sober enough for him to say yes, and then decided that she was, and he was probably overthinking.

“Yeah. Yeah, sure,” he said quickly.

Juliette closed her eyes totally, smiling as she gently draped her legs over him, moving in closer. Charlie chuckled, blushing slightly as she draped her legs over him, his hand now resting on her thigh. She laid across his chest, allowing him to wrap his arm around her as her head rested on his chest. Juliette was more than comfortable, feeling herself being sucked into a relaxing sleep as his chin rested on her head.

Charlie sighed softly, smiling as she began to settle.

“Tell me if you wanna move, okay?”

“Okay,” she murmured, before she fell asleep.

Charlie held her close, giving into her soft, sweet nature as he played with her hair, hoping she wouldn’t notice. He carefully brushed back and forth over her silky blonde hair, as if she were the most precious thing in the world.

“No one can ever hurt you,” Charlie felt the need to tell her, watching over her so that she slept peacefully.

*****

Juliette sighed as she flopped down onto her couch late that night, bored out of her mind. She knew that Charlie was often busy with his work at the bar, or more often the shenanigans that came of it, but she was bored. In the past month and a half or so, she’d only left her apartment about four times, and two of those times were to go to the grocery store.

Charlie was one of the only real friends she’d had since she lost her job. He was her drinking buddy; he’d always come over to watch TV, or play games, or whatever on the days he wasn’t working as the janitor at the bar, or sometimes at night after he got off work.

But in the past couple of weeks or so, Juliette had hardly seen Charlie at all. And they didn’t text much, since neither of them were big texters. They both agreed that their time together was more enjoyable in person, and that was what worked for them. Until Juliette started getting cabin fever being alone in her apartment every day. After all, all she really did was eat, and day drink. As of late, life was boring, predictable, and sometimes just sad.

Juliette thought that things had been going well with Charlie, especially since they’d gotten a bit closer lately. But of course, she knew she’d been wrong about these things before, and she’d probably be wrong again. And so, it was that thought process that led to her drinking a bottle of cheap wine and ordering Taco Bell that night while watching Girl, Interrupted.

Juliette knew that most people would’ve initially thought her to be more of a Susanna, Winona Ryder’s character, but given her softer and more docile nature. But, she also knew that, if she cared enough, she’d be acting like Lisa, Angelina Jolie’s character. Unable to sit around and do nothing any longer, Juliette paused the TV, getting up as she groaned in frustration. She walked to the kitchen, now fully talking to herself. She’d given up and taken up that old habit in the past week or so.

“Welp. Arson’s illegal,” Juliette thought aloud. “Guess I’ll settle for box brownies.”

She took her emergency box of brownie mix from the pantry, deciding that this would just have to be an appropriate project for 2 in the morning. A while later, Juliette was standing in her kitchen with a freshly opened second bottle of wine, impatiently waiting for the brownies to finish cooking.

But too long had passed, and Juliette was horrified to find that she had almost fallen asleep standing up. The smoke detector was now beeping at an insane volume, as a charred tray of brownies smoked in the oven.

“Shit! Shit! Fuck!” Juliette cried, rushing to remedy her mistake.

*****

The next day, after a long night of sleep, Juliette sat at her table, exhaustedly drinking a cup of juice. She hadn’t seen Charlie in two weeks, and was spiraling a bit. She had decided to fully get ready for the day as a way of putting off the madness. After a while, there was an unmistakable knock on her door. Juliette got up in confusion, not sure who it would be.

When she opened the door, it was Charlie standing outside in the hall, looking anxious and breathless.

“Hey,” he stared, hoping she wasn’t angry with him.

“Hey,” Juliette said quietly, not sure what to make of this unexpected visit.

“Can I come in?” Charlie asked nervously.

“Yeah, sure.”

He stepped into the apartment as she closed the door behind him, still not sure as to where they stood at the moment.

“What’s up?” Juliette asked. “Haven’t seen you in a while…”

“Yeah,” Charlie said guiltily, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she promised, not seeing any reason to be upset with him. “What have you been up to?” she asked casually.

“I… I’ve been working a lot of clover time, I guess,” he told her.

Juliette’s nose scrunched in confusion.

“‘Clover time’?”

“Yeah,” Charlie nodded.

“You mean, ‘overtime’?” she clarified.

Charlie frowned. “I thought it was ‘clover time’.”

“It’s ‘overtime’,” she corrected without judgment, “Because you work over the time you’re supposed to. Why would it be ‘clover time’?”

“I don’t know!” Charlie sighed, overwhelmed. “Because it’s working extra, and the bar has a clover on the door…!”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Juliette stopped him, seeing how distraught he looked, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Charlie sighed, “It’s nothing…”

“Then why have you been working overtime?” she asked gently, trying to help.

“Because… I needed extra money,” Charlie admitted, as if it were some dark secret.

“Oh. Are you having trouble with rent, or something?” she asked in confusion.

“No…”

“Then… what is it?” she asked. “What’d you need the money for? If you’re okay with sharing…”

“To take you out on a date,” Charlie concluded, looking at her nervously.

Juliette was taken aback. She definitely hadn’t expected that to be his response.

“Look, I know I’m weird, and I don’t know, like, movies, or games, or things, and I’m not good with words, and I might be making things weird, but…” Charlie looked into her eyes, almost as if this were a sort of Hail Mary. “Do you wanna go out, like, on a date with me?”

Juliette smiled, tears almost coming to her eyes as she realized how kind of a person he really was.

“I would love that, Charlie,” she nodded, as he looked up with relief. “Yes.”

He looked as if he’d won the lottery, laughing in disbelief as he nearly jumped for joy.

“Really?!”

“Yeah, of course,” Juliette nodded quickly, “I’d like nothing more.”

“Great! I mean… Cool,” Charlie tried to calm himself down.

“But… You didn’t have to save up for a whole two weeks to do that,” she said sadly.

“Well… I don’t know,” Charlie thought, “I just wanted you to have a good time.”

Juliette smiled, taking his hand as she spoke.

“I always have a good time with you. I promise. You don’t need to fucking do anything. We could go dumpster diving, and I’d have a good time,” she promised.

“Really?” Charlie asked, ecstatic.

“Really.”

“Okay. Sweet,” he nodded, thinking for a moment. “You wanna go dumpster diving then?!”

Chapter Five

#charlie kelly #charlie kelly x reader #charlie kelly fic #charlie kelly fanfic #charlie kelly iasip #charlie day #its always sunny in philly #iasip #it’s always sunny in philly #its always sunny in philadelphia

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