#It’s almost like the people who write like that are insanely talented individuals with beautiful vocabulary and brilliant minds

[ghostlycod]

unironically the post that was like “ghost girlies writing smut vs price girlies writing a whole ass poem to describe his dick” was genuinely some of the best writing I’ve done in a while and I’m kinda mad right now that as I’m writing this gothic horror AU I can’t summon that same energy when it’s literally required

[quidfree]

can you Please write the scene with bakugou's piercing SGDHEFEH the concept is too funny to me !!!

anon you’re lucky 報復性熬夜 is a concept i am firmly attached to so here i am at 1 am rattling this off instead of getting my beauty sleep. please excuse the standard of writing as a result

by the second day, katsuki is seriously considering agreeing to todoroki’s earlier and ambiguously sincere proposal that they play i spy.

he doesn’t know what it is about this particular job that’s so unbearable. no, scratch that- of course he knows what’s unbearable; it’s sat right next to him on a too-small chair in their too-small room staring impassively out of a too-small window. but he’s been thrown into so much shit with icyhot you’d think he’d developed some kind of immunity by now, the way vaccines microdose you on viruses so you can resist the real thing. call katsuki an antivaxxer, he guesses, because he has overdosed on todoroki ever since he met the asshole and he’s still not ready for how far up the wall he’s driving him when they’re stuck together for two straight days without a breather or any contact with the outside world.

cards on the table: stake-outs aren’t his thing. he does them just fine, fuck you very much, but he doesn’t like ‘em. why would he? they’re some ungodly blend of extremely boring and extremely tense, where nothing happens right up until way too long into it and then everything goes to shit unprompted. it’s rare he ever gets called in on jobs like this- people tend to assume he lacks the temperament for it, for one, and for another he’s too useful to lock away for days on end. it’s only because their suspected target is so insanely volatile and dangerous that it’s the two of them waiting for her to show her ugly face- no one else is even allowed in the perimeter. which is fucking fine, but he just wishes the cops would get their shit together for once and actually have the proof ready by the time they call the pros in so he doesn’t have to wait before he goes in guns blazing. instead they talked some bullshit about how critical of a stage this was and blah blah fifteen years of (obviously mediocre) work had gone into setting this trap, etc etc. the point is that it’s led to katsuki stuck in the world’s most disgusting little apartment, staring out of a splintered window for two-going-on-three days with no one but the world’s most annoying prodigy to keep him company. the place is such a dump they’re sleeping on mats in sleeping bags. it’s like fucking UA summer camp, and at this point he’d take the kidnapping over the waiting.

day one wasn’t so bad, right up until he realized there would be a day two. day two is bad from start to finish. they’re supposed to take turns on watch but there’s fuck all else to do except sit on their phones, and katsuki can only quote tweet so much dumb shit before he gets bored. he can’t talk to anyone outside because of confidentiality bullshit, and there’s no point checking work shit when he can’t do anything from where they are. so it’s either silently watching the warehouse or talking to todoroki, and todoroki is a fucking terrible conversationalist.

the thing with icyhot is this: katsuki doesn’t hate him, okay. like, he hates him, but also not really. they’re, at a push, maybe, sort of, friends. verging on close ones. not that he’d say so, but after the amount of dramatic self-sacrifices and final stands against a joint enemy they’ve endured he can’t really muster the energy to argue otherwise. todoroki’s tolerable, sort of maybe. usually katsuki borderline likes working with him, because if nothing else he’s good at what he does, and they know each other too well to be anything but in sync in the field. if they were doing almost anything else he’d be relieved at the choice of pairing.

they are not, however, doing anything else, and todoroki still fucking sucks at talking like a normal person. when he’d woken katsuki up for his shift of night-watch he’d loomed over him ominously like a fucking ghoul and said, voice belying no humor: “do you think plants can feel pain?”

there’s fucking nothing to talk about. anything interesting is essentially vetoed because it’d inevitably distract them from the whole intent observation thing, and katsuki hates small talk on a normal day but especially when todoroki’s doing his ‘alien attempting earth dialect’ bit and asking him about weather or the tokyo transportation system or whatever. so they just sit in semi-silence and occasionally go on very stupid tangents katsuki is glad no one can witness and remain overall bored out of their fucking skulls.

by day three they’ve already exhausted i spy and also the alphabet game and hangman, and katsuki draws the line at tic-tac-toe. todoroki looks implacable as always but his eye has started twitching a little. katsuki tries to think of literally anything that could plausibly take up their time and not take their eyes off the window, comes up short. twister is not a good idea even ignoring their lack of a board. shop talk is so very tempting, but he’s not losing this villain and wasting two days’ suffering because they get carried away on some long-winded discussion, so that’s not an option either.

“how’s your ear?” todoroki says, and at first katsuki thinks he’s really fucking lost it if he’s started asking after the wellbeing of his individual body parts, but then he remembers the last time they saw each other katsuki was throwing himself into the path of some jackass with a trumpeting quirk who nearly blew out his eardrum, so he guesses half ‘n half’s not entirely insane yet. he shrugs, shifts in his chair.

“fine. couldn’t hear shit from it for like three straight days, though. and my balance was fucked.”

“it hasn’t scarred at all.”

“yeah. lame place for a scar,” katsuki says, flexing his fingers absently. they’re all of them more roughed up than they were at UA, but talent and good healers have kept him mostly intact, give or take a few big nasties like the time he got gutted in first year or his near loss of an eye around graduation. privately he suspects genetics have dealt him a good hand, what with his gene donor’s perfect skin, but then todoroki doesn’t have that excuse and he’s not scarred anywhere ugly except the obvious, though katsuki could point blind to most of the nasties he’s accumulated under his suit.

not that he thinks about what’s under todoroki’s suit. god, he needs to get out of here.

“i don’t know,” todoroki is saying now, thoughtful. “a lot of people have ear-scars, no? from piercings.”

“that’s different,” katsuki says, immediately contrarian, even as he thinks about it. by the warehouse a truck stalls, but then moves on, lessening his momentary excitement. “most people don’t let that shit heal. unless you’re a moron there’s no point getting a hole jabbed through your ear if you’re not sure you want it.”

“would you?” todoroki asks, mildly curious, and taps his ear where katsuki can see him in the window’s reflection. “get a piercing, i mean.”

“what’s it to you?”

todoroki rolls his eyes at him like he’s being pointlessly difficult, which he maybe is a little. “i don’t know. i think it would suit you.”

“yeah?” katsuki sniffs, mollified and trying not to show it. it’s always a mistake to let icyhot know when his obvious ploys are working. “been thinking about it?”

“i can hardly sleep at night for thinking about it,” todoroki deadpans, which makes katsuki scowl and stomp down on the extremely unwarranted flush crawling up his neck in response.

“fuck off. i guess i’d do like one or two.”

“really? you always say no to tattoos.”

“that’s different. i don’t trust some asshole to draw a fucking infinity sign on my knee or whatever. sticking a hole through an ear is hard to fuck up, and you barely register it after. if you get a shitty tattoo you have to think about it all the time.”

“if it’s easy then why don’t you have any?” todoroki asks, but he sounds genuinely curious more than like he’s trying to catch him out, so katsuki thinks about it honestly.

“don’t have the time. ‘s not like i can really afford to pencil in an afternoon to the nearest parlor or whatever just for that.”

“i read you can pierce your ears with a needle.”

“i guess i haven’t fucking thought about it that much, then,” katsuki grumbles, forever irked by todoroki’s smart mouth. problem solver his ass. the guy goes around making problems for everyone.

they sit in silence for a beat, watching the breeze rattle the wooden planks barricading a window opposite them, and then he thinks needle, and does some very quick mental arithmetics to reach the conclusion that todoroki is probably also landing on, judging by the way he blinks when katsuki briefly glances his way. 

he thinks about the job, and how close he’d come to throttling todoroki during i spy, and the great dawning nothingness ahead of them for fuck knows how long still. at the very worst, they have to start moving with a needle in his ear. 

“pass me your medikit.”

todoroki does, but when katsuki unzips the pack he shifts. “it’d be easier if i did it.”

“it’s not rocket science,” katsuki mutters, considering the needle critically before glancing back out of the window. “'s not like i give a shit about precise location.”

“i’m just saying i wouldn’t have to go in blind. and you can keep watch while i do it.”

“or you can keep watch while i do. same shit.”

todoroki only shakes his head, because unlike some people who shall not be named he is not so incredibly psychosexually attached to offering help where it isn’t wanted. “fine.”

katsuki eyes the window, squints at his ear. tissue’s the best bet- he thinks he could probably manage cartilage fine, but on the off chance they have to drop everything and run he doesn’t want to accidentally snap a bone and start the fight inconvenienced. lobe it is.

“wait,” todoroki says, just when he’s focused, and then reaches over without removing his gaze from the window to press two fingers to the needle, tip going blisteringly red-hot before he releases it. cauterised. their kit’s sterilised anyway, but katsuki grunts his begrudging thanks, repositions himself. 

“wait,” todoroki says again, and this time katsuki can’t help but turn to glare at him where he’s still watchfully staring outside.

“fucking what, icyhot?”

“two seconds,” todoroki promises, gaze flickering his way for half a second with something like self-effacing amusement before he turns his eyes dutifully away and reaches his other arm around to pinch his ear, which flares cold so quickly katsuki hisses even as his cheeks heat. fucking weirdo.

“could’ve just said,” he mutters, ignoring his not at all jumpy pulse to refocus on the task at hand as todoroki does that obnoxious lip-twitch thing that means he’s smiling internally. 

physics dictates that he keep his wrist at an angle if he wants the needle to come out right, so he does, braces and jabs. it goes so easy he almost doubts his own success, not even the slightest twinge of pain ensuing. he twists for good measure, removes the needle, watches tiny beads of blood emerge from the piercing. 

well, that was anticlimactic, katsuki thinks, retrieving an anti-bacterial wipe for the needle, and then pauses, staring at the window.

“motherfucker.”

“what?”

“what the fuck am i supposed to put through this?”

todoroki’s mismatched eyes go gratifyingly wide in the window, and for one spectacularly braindead moment two of the world’s most outstanding pro-heroes stare at one another in a shitty broken window with equal amounts of retroactive dismay. 

“um,” todoroki says, or as close to ‘um’ as todoroki will ever say. katsuki wishes dearly he was still of an age where he could throw him through a wall. then his eyes focus elsewhere, sharpening with what could pass as professional focus but is mostly naked relief. “um.”

um in-fucking-deed. by the warehouse, a door has just opened a sliver.

“you owe me a fucking earring,” katsuki declares, but so fast it lacks any aggression, already halfway out the window by the time he finishes speaking, atrophied limbs reviving with an ecstatic chemical burn as fresh air hits their faces. 

god. if he ever gets stuck on stake-out duty again he’s sleeping by himself under a parked car or some shit. 

they make disgustingly quick work of the fight, in the end, days of pent-up frustration and skull-numbing boredom leaving them so bursting with power that it’s almost embarrassing for the villain, but when the first kow-towing police officer reaches them full of praise and suggestion that they handle another job he has queued up they chorus a ‘no’ so violent the guy actually jumps. 

todoroki’s not so bad, katsuki thinks fondly, watching his face slide into frigid blankness with absolutely no idea of how shitless he’s scaring the officers around them. it’s almost enough to make him forget to kick his ass for the enormously shitty banter he’d had to endure vis-a-vis his still-bleeding ear throughout the entire tragically short fight.

almost. not quite. who even knew there was a ‘gay ear’?

[ifyouwereamelodymeg]

Rec List Saturday

Alright alright alright, I know I said I was done for ZFAW, but I lied because it’s REC LIST SATURDAY.

I honestly think this final day of the week embodies what the whole thing is about -- with only so many hours in the day to actually create fanwork inspired content, it’s our chance to pull together lists of all the works/creators that we didn’t have the opportunity to pay tribute to across the rest of the week and show them some love. So with that in mind I’m actually going to be reccing people rather than individual works, because so many folk have contributed loads of wonderful pieces. @rideboldlyride - my first friend in the fandom, and a double/triple/quadruple threat with awesome contributions across multiple media (writer, artist, tech whizz, and podcast host), is there anything this gal can’t do?? @formerlygoldilocks - coming in hot with a newly-made fandom blog but active on AO3 for a number of months now with a mixture of angst and fluff, one-shots and long-form, and one truly hilarious and bizarrely heartwarming crack piece under her belt.

@all-thewaydown - someone else who’s nailing both the long- and short-form work on AO3! In particular I have to recommend her Zutara Fluff Exchange piece, ‘of rules and traditions’

@cablesscutie - a brilliant writer with truly fantastic comedic skill chops who literally never fails to impress me no matter what she writes (if you’re 18+ and okay with reading E-rated material, please check out her Katara Has a Cat series, you won’t regret it).

@theadamantdaughter - my first bookmark on AO3 was Adamant’s collab with @atomicpen, Perfect Places. I believe it’s been discontinued now, and Adamant is not currently active on AO3, but there is an absolute stack of ATLA fanfiction on her profile as it is. Even aside from writing, her tumblr account is full of Zutara content and it’s one of the things that fed me when I was first coming into the fandom last year, so I owe her a lot.

@my-bated-breath - not only is this seventeen-year-old writing well beyond her years, but she has so much incredible analysis and insight to give in her amazing ATLA/Zutara metas. 100% worth both reading and following.

@antarcticasx - another even younger person at sixteen (oh my god, just make me feel old, why don’t you), here we have a total writing machine whose AO3 is packed with Zutara content. Her blog is also super active so if ATLA/Zutara chat is what you’re looking for then look no further.

@doodleladi - a wonderful, wonderful artist who has tackled both in-universe and AU artworks alike (this is a particular favourite of mine). Another member of the @jdteahour crew along with Ride and @bulletproofteacup!

@amourinette - another beautiful artist who created one of my favourite ATLA artworks (steamy, so beware if you’re full of youth). Like seriously I have this picture bookmarked on my laptop ‘cause I love it so much.

@hayleynfoster - I mean, I’d be remiss if I didn’t tag her, but if you don’t know who she is and the incredible stuff that she produces then where have you been?? Get your butt over to her profile and educate yourself in the ways of Zutara art and animatics.

@iwritevictuuri - known as LittleLostStar on AO3, offers incredible characterisation and storytelling prowess, although beware that almost all her work for ATLA is either M- or E-rated!

Finally, I would like to take a moment to acknowledge someone whose writing pushes me to be better myself and never fails to amaze me. If you want exquisite description and insanely beautiful world-building/-expanding, your search begins and ends with @fictionissocialinquiry. My idol, my dream, my mad Aussie fandom-wife, this woman has so much talent it’s crazy and please just read her work (again, beware multiple mature-rated fics, check ratings before reading). She’s gonna be a best-selling author one day, so check her out now so you can say you liked her work before she was famous.

And that’s me done. Hope everyone has enjoyed this week, and thank you so much to @hinaoyamas/ @zkfanworkweek for putting it together!

Love to all!

[bananban-feature]

Seventeen: Hoshi

(It took me a while to write this because... I’m also not sure. There’s a lot of ideas here and there and my mind is all over the place. But here it goes.)

Hoshi appreciation time! I’m here to talk about another one of my biases in my bias group that I love so much, Seventeen. Hoshi is incredibly talented and creative, fun with an extremely loveable personality! Now, where do I start?

Talent

Dance - This talent is pretty obvious as he is the leader of the performance unit, which is equivalent to the team of the main dancers of the group. (Other Seventeen members who aren’t part of this unit are already really good dancers, so this unit is really something.)

Stage Presence and Energy - A big part of what I like about Hoshi’s performances is not simply his dance - it’s his energy and attitude. I especially like it when he performs with intensity, like his Fearless intro dance with the drums (GDA 2021). I remember watching a clip of their Ode To You in Manila concert on Youtube and seeing Hoshi  made me really wish I was there. (I only became a Carat after this, during quarantine.) It’s like he’s a ball of energy that hypes people up. 

His duality is INSANE. He knows how to use his facial expressions and charisma that would make you feel the intensity of the music and fall for him on stage. And yet irl he’s absolutely adorable.

Singing - With Hoshi being such a main dancer already, you wouldn’t think he would have good vocals, but Hoshi is actually a lead singer too! In fact, in Performance unit, he is the main vocals. He has a powerful voice!

Rap - Hoshi is the main rapper in their super fun sub-unit BooSeokSoon. (Sure, he’s not actually the best singer or rapper there is in all of kpop, but he really has the talent for it.) There are many songs only a few people can pull off but he does. His energy and attitude in “Just Do It” by BSS and “Bring It” is next level, and absolutely necessary for the song to be successful.

Songwriting - This hasn’t been much (you know, as much as Woozi), but Hoshi has also participated in writing some of their songs, and even composed some with the help of Bumzu/Woozi! He co-wroteThanks with Woozi and Bumzu.

In general, I just also love Hoshi’s confidence in his talents. He knows his strengths, he isn’t afraid to showcase all the good things he can do, and he recognizes when he performs well. Confident, but not bragging. He’s just so real and so passionate about performing.

Performance Unit Leader & Choreographer

I have a lot to say about this because the first thing that really struck me about Seventeen is the absolutely beautiful choreography and incredible synchronization. It is the reason why I really checked them out in the first place after seeing a video of them dancing to Don’t Wanna Cry in x2 speed.

Choreography - Hoshi co-choreographs the Seventeen performances with a choreographer hyung/noona, and also with the help of the performance team. (I am not disregarding the work of the pro choreographers, who in fact, did such an amazing job, but I’ve seen some people dismiss Hoshi’s contributions to these. Hoshi himself doesn’t brag about it, and ALWAYS mentions the choreographers that helped them.) There are a lot of records of him working on the choreo and formations, and there are interviews with Seventeen members, Hoshi himself, and even the choreographer hyungs that talk about his work. There’s a lot of hard work involved in this, especially when you have to think about 13 people’s positions in each scene. It just requires a lot of brain power! To add to that, Hoshi is incredibly creative! He is able to take inspiration from random objects (such as street lamps), and turn it into story-telling choreography (DWC example, skip to 1:32, this is an amazing video). I really love Seventeen's choreography, and I think they have one of the best choreographies in kpop! They are my all-time favorite in this area.

Leadership - (Obviously, they practice these dances also with the help of the choreographer hyungs too, but Hoshi really leads the whole group in terms of the performance.) Hoshi is strict and particular even with the tiniest details, angles and timing. I definitely think this is one of the biggest reasons why Seventeen is so good with their dance and are called Kings of Synchronization. Not only do they practice a lot, but I think they all really work hard because they’ve developed this sense of meticulousness in choreo that Hoshi imparted.

***Hoshi said himself that he’s a quick-tempered person. The members have actually shared their accounts of how Hoshi was as a performance leader - strict, not very patient, and has a tendency to say harsh words when they did not meet his expectations. (He’s the opposite of Minghao in Idol Producer. Normally, this impatient teaching style would get me pissed, but Hoshi as a teacher to Seventeen is different. Unlike the ordinary teacher-student relationship, Hoshi has a very close friendship with the members like family. Even when there are hurts and arguments during practice, they are able to talk about it, fix and overcome it.) It seems Hoshi has changed from this harshness though. And now the members are able to talk and laugh about it freely as memories from their earlier years.

Personality

Hoshi is so talented, but what really drew me into him was his outstanding personality. People who only look at Hoshi on stage might get shocked because Hoshi in real life is like a cute crazy hamster. (Oops, I meant “tiger”, horanghae!)

Hoshi is hilarious and adorable at the same time. It’s almost like a toddler in a grown man’s body. He says the silliest things and acts the silliest way! What makes him funny is not just because he tries hard to be funny by making jokes. He’s just naturally funny - the definition of chaotic comedy, major crackhead energy! His overhyping is hilarious. And his randomness will make you laugh. I love that he is unapologetically himself, accepting himself in all his weirdness. And no one can stop his tiger agenda.  🐯 🐯 🐯

Don’t Lie I & II are two of the first episodes I watched in Going Seventeen. I was so in love with Hoshi, especially after Don’t Lie II. He was so chaotic and crazy, but also very intelligent! It really was a successful game because of his incredible deduction (with the help of Seungkwan, of course). And my gosh, the way he copied Seungkwan (and even Vernon) in their 5th Anniversary is legendary! That’s both talent in comedy and talent in acting!

Despite being this comedian, he is often seen being very sweet to the rest of the members. Honestly, unless they are in the practice room or when he needs to protect the members, Hoshi is one of those who’s often like a fake maknae in the group because he’s so cute. (Okay, except Woozi always rejects his hugs. lol) He’s also sweet to the fans and interacts with them a lot.

Hoshi’s Visuals

He may not be an official visual but nowadays, I am really appreciating his looks. I’ve always found him cute (like a child-like cute). Even in his old videos as a rookie, he has a cute and fun visual. But he really has a face with nice proportions. Honestly, he’s growing more and more mature each day. And recently, I’m just loving his visuals so much as a handsome guy.

Like...look at this beauty?

///Update, March 2021: As I predicted, Hoshi has been showing his handsome boyfriend look more and more.

A better look of the last photo, whew:

*** update done ///

This post is waaaaaaay longer than I planned it to be. There’s just too many things to appreciate about Hoshi.

Anyway, here are random things I found you also might enjoy:

Article on Hoshi as a dancer/performer (The title is misleading, but this is actually a great compilation of amazing Hoshi and Seventeen dance things.) 

Reddit thread on Hoshi’s talents

IDK, random Hoshi YT compilations (1) and (2)

The Leader Line

I’ve written about my top biases right now: Woozi (previous post) and Hoshi, hard-working members for the team. In general, I really appreciate the leader line. At a young age, they led a group of teens to rise to the top of a very demanding industry. This is real life leadership with real life issues and pressures. They had a huge responsibility, it wasn’t playtime. (Great job to S.Coups, too, for being able to handle the crazy kids and keep them in order together. Imagine having to think about the individual issues of 13 people!)

Anyway, hopefully I’ll be able to talk more about them soon in my Seventeen members general appreciation post!

[meggtheegg]

Cast TCP as Disney attractions?

Why hello anon who is definitely not me sending an ask to myself out of boredom! This may be the most self-indulgent post I’ve made in ages, but bear with me @unoriginalurl77 - Living With the Land. A boat ride through nice scenes on a farm plus a greenhouse where they grow awesome plants and (I believe) all the vegetables they serve in the park! (alternate: The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. Soft and lovely and nostalgic. ‘Nuff said :)) @thatfriendlyanon - it’s a small world! Just a pure, gentle ride about people connecting with each other in song and I think that’s beautiful (alternate: the Seas with Nemo and Friends. A ride with nice music that takes you through a literal aquarium and just always feels really serene and nice.)  @floraldrizzle - Muppet Vision 3D. No idea why that was the first one to pop into my head, but the vibe just fits, idk. One of the first things I ever did at Disney and still has a big place in my heart. Fun and energetic and imaginative, plus Muppets! (alternate: the Affection Section. An area of Animal Kingdom only accessible by train where you literally just go to pet goats and I think that’s wonderful.) @sincerely-nerdeh - The Enchanted Tiki Room because,,,birbs (alternate: Pirates of the Caribbean. Again, no idea why, it just feels like it fits. The ride, not the movies bc hot take the ride is far superior and was almost where I worked when Disney hired me 10/10 would go again) @kkamikazed - The Haunted Mansion. Literally so cool with insane practical effects and amazing writing. Also the spoopy tone just vibes with a lot of the fics I associate with you so yeah! (alternate: the Dapper Dans, a crazy talented barbershop quartet often seen around Main Street USA who wear fun, colorful outfits.) @nickjsqueen - the Jungle Cruise. Literally so funny and entirely carried by individual workers who narrate the whole ride while driving the boat. Probably the most quoted attraction in the parks, for a good reason. (alternate: Walt Disney’s Carousel of Progress bc moustache. Also John Progress has Sock Puppet Larry energy and I do not take criticism. alternate alternate: Sonny Eclipse, the singing animatronic alien that isn’t advertised anywhere but is a gd legend with a snazzy jacket) Me - the Tangled bathrooms. Maybe seems interesting at first, but is actually full of shit. The Country Bear Jamboree. Has been there for a while and is probably not at the top of anyone’s list but when you see it, it’s like “oh right this is kind of fun, let’s watch it” and that’s how it’s stayed around since opening day and will hopefully remain there for a while.

[frccdomfell]

So, this is only a little over 1600 words... I have a lot of people to thank.  I’ve had Stevie boy here for five months, but I’ve been around Tumblr rp for a long time and thought I’d take this opportunity to thank those of you that have been such lights this year. This year has been extremely hard for me for a number of reasons I won’t get into in this happy post! So, this is for those who were there for me this year:

My Main Peeps:

@liftingxrocks : firstly, i have to thank my incredible fiance. you were here every step of the way this year and it has made all the difference. i couldn’t have gotten through it without you and i’m so goddamn lucky i get to call you mine. proposing to you was easily the best thing i’ve ever done and when you said yes was the single best moment of my life. we met through rp and I love every character you try your hand at. thanks for being such a light in my life, babygirl. i love you.

@bytheanchor : b! you total fucking nerd. god, you’re the best! i’m so glad to call you my friend and you’re definitely one of my best online friends. you never fail to be positive and brighten my day. you’re so kind and encouraging. we talk practically every day. those two weeks you went away were SO BORING! i love all your characters so much, you know that. writing with you is easily one of my favourite past times. you are always just as excited and willing to write stuff as i am and i love it. thank you for being such an amazing friend.

@spitefulandspectacular : i mean you never check your tumblr notifications, but i don’t care. you were so important this year so you get a spot on the list. man, you were such a great roommate. we each had our things, but honestly i’m so happy my first real roommate was such a quality person. i miss ya like hell and can’t wait to see you real soon hopefully. thanks for being such a great friend and taking care of our boy. you’re a gem.

@mangohub : monroe, what can i even say? you’re such an incredible friend and i’m so thankful for you. anytime i’m dealing with anything you’re right there for me, ready to listen. i don’t think i’ve met a better writer in my entire life, no joke. i love your alec more than life itself and writing with you is always such a fulfilling experience. even jut plotting with you is so much goddamn fun. you’re such a bright and loving person. thanks for being one of the good things about my 2019.

@warricrsbcw : my mollee. hey hun. i just want to thank you for being such a stand up friend since we reconnected. you’ve been there for me every single time i’ve needed it and i hope i’ve been able to do the same. you’re such a sweet person and you deserve all the nice things. not to mention that i love your alec to hell and back! magnus would go to the ends of the earth for that boy.

@lcdgerbled : hayley, you are so awesome! I’m so lucky that when i left my magnus blog i was able to take you with me in a way. you’re such an insanely talented writer and an even better friend. you’ve been so great and always there if i need anyone to talk to about my ED. your natasha is perfect! steve adores her with his entire heart and wants to buy a place in a new york and have ten kids with her lol. thanks so much for making this year a little more bearable.

New Friends:

@divabarnes : so, you were actually the reason i remade my steve into a blog. he was just available on discord but you reignited my love for him. your bucky sparked my steve back to life and i can’t thank you enough. i love him so much. your writing is so in character and makes my jaw drop every time. i love writing with you (even though im slow and trash). thanks for everything you didn’t even know you did.

@ivorysatin : i know we haven’t known each other a super long time but i absolutely adore you! you’ve been so kind and friendly and you’re writing is PHENOMENAL! your magnus, anna and blair! i’m so in love with all your threads and verses. every time i see your blair i’m so tempted to remake my charles so you need to STOP! but, seriously, you’re such a friendly bean, thanks!

@semiistable : hello friend! so i know we literally just met like four days ago, but in that time i have totally fallen in love with your writing and you so freaking nice and chill. my steve is head over heels for your bucky, and writing with you never fails to make me smile. i hope we continue to be friends for a long time.

@mischieftomake : bonjour jas! so i’ve been dying to write a loki/steve pairing for so long but could never find anyone that clicked with my steve. and, i’m so lucky that the one who did also has such a phenomenal mun! you’re so much fun to plot with and to play around with what we want to do. i’m loving our soulmate verses so much! i hope we continue to become close in the new year!

@tcnystcrrk : thank you thank you thank you! i’m so happy we met and i feel so lucky to get to write with you. my steve just gravitates to your tony. you’re actually the only tony i’m properly active with. i just love plotting and writing with you. you’ve been so kind and excited and it’s made me so happy. i hope to write loads with you both ic and ooc in the new year. stay frosty.

@heyqxeens : beep boop. we don’t write a lot, and that’s mostly because i’ve been hella busy and whatnot. but, i love your peter. even without writing with you i’ve been heavily enjoying reading your other threads. honestly just the fact that you're on my dash makes a huge difference in my tumblr experience. also, we still need to do that thread where they both work at the bugle lol. hope your new year is full of fun.

@hcpefell : nyxie. again, i’ve been bad at keeping up bc life is super hectic right now but thank you so much for being part of the harder part of this year. the second half really took a lot out of me and meeting and writing with you really helped! i love how you write gwen and steve adores her. thank you so much!

Honorable Mentions: (a.k.a. those i stalk)

@stolenparticles : so hi! i’ve been following you since even before i had steve i believe. even when i never thought we’d write together (bc of the vastly different fandoms) i still needed to follow you. cassie is such an interesting and complex character and i love to see someone taking her and just running with it. i love to read all your threads on the dash, it’s always such a good time.

@stormweathered : we’ve chatted here and there, but i low key am IN LOVE with your characterization. your thor is so beautiful and on point! i read all of your answered memes when they show up because your writing is just so impressive. one day i’ll stop being a potato and actually get to work on saying a proper hello.

@kendolled : SOOOOO... i lowkey stalk your blog daily! you’re right up there with @ivorysatin making me want to remake charles. every single time i read your replies alli can see is mr. archibald. i swear, you encompass him so well. ive been rewatching gossip girl for the past seven months or so (bc im slow and easily distracted) and trust me when i say your nate is spot on! i read literally almost everything you post because it’s so perfect!

@spidaeyaunt : so i lowkey adore you. all the love and devotion you put into may is inspiring. i love reading your headcanons and i adore your threads with tonys and peters. but i think the big reason i follow you is your personality. i love seeing your ooc posts on the dash and your tags always make me laugh! keep it up, you cool cat.

@exposestruth & @smallvxlle : i grouped you together because i found you through each other. smallville was such a huge and important part of me growing up. it will forever be one of my top three shows. having both of you bring these characters to life has meant everything. makes me totally miss my ollie every time i read your individual threads. plus all the smallville gifsets on my dash make me SO HAPPY! 

@moqul : omg! your cat is FLAWLESS! i love reading your headcanons and your tags are always so freaking hilarious! i laugh so much whenever you’re on  the dash and it’s something i value so much. i love supergirl so much, i played kara for a while and i still play barry (since hes a cw super) and your cat is just perfect. i don’t think anyone else could do her the kind of justice you do.

@hakune : OH MY GOD!! your steve *holds chest* I just love him so much. you write so well and your passion for our boy comes through so clearly. i love reading your threads and just watching you interact on the dash is a blast. keep up the good work, fellow steve.

@madebythejungle : you are so fucking talented, wtf? to take such a cool and interesting character and just explode him into life is so impressive. i love reading your stuff whenever i come across it on the dash. one day i’ll get up the courage to actually come say hi, but until then have this little thank you. thank you for making my dash that much better.

[theincompetentgenius]

Hello! Can i have a “life generator” for the arcana please? :) I’m a bi 5’9 girl with curly brown hair and hazel eyes. I’m antisocial, and closed off to most people. I have a sarcastic and dirty sense of humor, and i’m childish. I love to playfully tease people. I’m a gryffindor, and quite stubborn. I get jealous easily. I LOVE animals. My hobbies are shopping, singing/piano, and archery. I’m a tomboy, and i live in hoodies. I’m honestly pretty touch starved. Thanks in advance!!

Thank you for being my first request! It took a lot longer than I expected, but I still had lots of fun doing this. I also realized how garbage my writing has become and how I lack any creativity, but that’s another issue for another time.

Thank you for your interest in the world of The Arcana! In a few moments, you will be reborn.  Loading simulation in 3 …… 2…… 1……..

B A C K G R O U N D

You were born into a wealthy family where the pressures of society were the laws of the house. Your father was attempting the climb the unspoken social latter of Vesvusia and he could not risk having his children act out of line. Fortunately, he was constantly out mingling with the high-tiers, leaving you with eons of freedom. Your mother attempted to teach you the ways of a lady, but it was not long before you turned away from the pink ribbons and ran towards the bow and arrow. She soon came to accept your differences, but you did learn to enjoy certain aspects of being a lady. However, your father soon learned of your rather rebellious behavior and sent you to a center to become more ladylike. Although you despised the suffocating corsets and endless sewing, your piano and singing lessons kept you from falling apart.

F R I E N D S  

Nadia, Navra, Nazali

As time passed, you had become one of the top pianists and vocalist in the entire community. What baffled the people was that you would only perform in a black tunic: a sign of protest against the center’s practices. The contrast in your talent and personality attracted a large audience, curious to see what you had to offer. One day, you had woken up to see the entire room emptied of its people. Gold ornaments and red carpets stood in their place. You were quickly notified that a few of the Satrinava sisters were coming to visit and your instructor wanted you to play for them. Not only were you nervous about playing in front of royal, but you were also worried about their judgy eyes analyzing your outlandish appearance. You even contemplated wearing a pink, puffy ballgown, but you chose to stay true to yourself and prepared for the event.”

“The three sisters strolled into the building, their presence more illuminating than the chandelier above your head. Once they were seated, you did not waste time with formal introductions. The audience of three listened in silence as your fingers danced on the piano keys and your voice soared across the room. You sang about your woes within the center, yearning for an ounce of freedom. Had you looked across the room, you would have noticed the wet film of their eyes. After your performance, Navra to you and grabbed your hand.

“That was the most beautiful I’ve ever heard in my life! You must play for me at my parties.” The strength of her handshake nearly ripped you apart.

“Leave the poor girl alone. You don’t want to scare her away already,” Nazali pulled her back.

Amid their bickering, you heard a cool voice from behind. “Do you feel imprisoned trying to live the life of a lady?” You spun around and saw a pair of red eyes staring back at you.

The blunt and sudden nature of the question had caught you off-guard. You had no intention of angering the princesses, but your tongue would not allow you to conform to their ways. The room went silent as the other sisters stopped their arguing and turned towards you. They were waiting for your answer.

“Yes,” You said.

The sisters exchanged glances. The pink-haired sister took the moment of silence to formally introduced herself as Nadia Satrinava, the youngest of the sisters. You curtsied in return, but her next question nearly knocked you off your feet.

“Would you like to perform at my palace? Where you are free to live as you like?”

Other friends: Portia, Mazelinka

R O M A N C E

As the royal musician, you were forced to interact with individuals who you would rather avoid after every show in the palace. Years had gone by and the only person you didn’t want to thrash was Portia. The rest were snobby, misogynistic, or outright stupid. However, there was one gem you had met during this time.

You had finished a romantic ballad for a smaller crowd that day. Nadia had asked you to perform as a part of her appreciation banquet to those working against the Red Plague. As you prepared to retire to your room, a young man with copper hair and an eye-patch appeared by your side.

“What a marvelous performance! Your voice is almost as beautiful as you.” A devilish grin was plastered over his face. It seemed more slappable than most. “Excuse me, where are my manners? My name is Dr. Julian Dovarak.“

“Sir, I’d like to know how you got past security,” Your voice was stone.

“That’s just one of my many talents. Let me tell you about how I nearly decapitated a monster with simply a bow and arrow.” You began to tune him out instinctively, yet you couldn’t ignore the charisma exuding from him. As he droned on, you decided to give him a chance. It was a matter of time before you were laughing in his tales. Dramatic, but entertaining.

“I liked your story, but I’m still calling security. You did invade my privacy after all,” You said.

He put his hands in the air. “There’s no need for that. I simply thought you enjoyed my company, but I may have misread the situation. I’ll be on my way.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I did enjoy your company. It’s just…. I could have it elsewhere. Especially since you seem to have no problem sneaking up on me when I’m alone”

It took him a moment to register the joke as he responded with confused laughter. Suddenly, his eyes grew wide and his cheeks were crimson. His confidence crumbled. There was nothing left of the old Julian; only a stuttering mess. You felt the muscles of your face pull an upward grin as laughter bubbled in your stomach. Never had you met someone so bold yet so flustered. So much for his bravado.

“I’m just teasing you. I wouldn’t call security on you, because you’re not as irritating as everyone else.” You laughed as he attempted to pull himself together.

He cleared his throat, prompting the return of his mischievous grin. “I’m flattered. Of course, if you would like a more private encounter, that can always be arranged.”

“I’ll look forward to it.”

F I N A L   F A T E

When the first round of accusations against Julian came around, you could not believe them. The man who had become so dear to you could not have committed murder. You weren’t sure what the details were, but your instincts told you that there was more to the story.  However, it was impossible to find reliable answers when Julian had fled the city and the only witness was Consul Valerius. You wanted to search for him, but Portia held you back.

"Chasing him will only bring you more danger.”

Although you wanted to pack your bags and take the first ship to Julian’s location, you knew it was unreasonable and irrational. During Julian’s disappearance, your relationship with Portia grew stronger. The two of you would reminisce about the good times and the best of Julian’s embarrassing moments. Soon, the two of you were able to move past Julian and make terrific memories on your own. Life began to move smoothly again. The two of you spent lots of time running errands. After a few witty exchanges, you found yourself on the floor with tears in your eyes. Portia would clutch her stomach from all the laughter. Sometimes you felt that the two of you had become delirious, but no one ever enjoyed life by staying sane.  

Yet one fateful day, you saw a flash of red and black zoom behind you. At first, you thought nothing of it. Probably some guards chasing after a thief or a child playing a game. However, the figure had stopped and you dropped your groceries. The infamous Dr. Dovarak was standing in front of you.

“Julian?”

Against your better nature, you ran after him. You already lost him once, you weren’t about to lose him again. But once you arrived at his spot, he had disappeared. You kicked the loose rubble beside you out of frustration. Your eyes had not been playing tricks on you; that was Julian. You went back to Portia and told her everything that you had seen. At first, she assumed you were messing around. However, she became uncertain as she saw the pleading look in your eyes.

That was not the last time you had seen the doctor. Your paths had crossed again when you walked into a rowdy tavern after a long day. All you wanted was a refreshing drink and some time away from the palace. Lost in your thoughts, you sat in the nearest booth and took a sip of your mug.  You nearly spat it out when you looked to your right.

“What are you doing here?”

You were face-to-face with the man who you had been searching for all this time. But now that he was in front of you, there was something off about him. He seemed tired.

“Hello darling, long time no see. How is life? I’m sure it must be dandy without me.” He flashed his famous grin that you had come to love.  A rush of anger seared in your stomach. The man had been missing for nearly three years, yet he acted as if his absence was a mere joke. Did he not realize the pain he had caused for you and his sister was unrepairable?

“No. Don’t play this game with me.” You gripped his wrist and demanded that he tell the truth. His smiley facade disappeared and he turned away. There was no way from him to explain that he had lost his memory without sounding insane or incriminating. All he could do was play the role of the villain.  

But you were not giving up so quickly. Although you couldn’t get Julian to give you the information you wanted, the two of you began to meet more often (despite the risk of Julian getting caught). As he worked through his layers of problems, you stood by his side and helped lighten his darker days

You notified Nadia that you were no longer going to play for the palace and packed your bags, joining Julian in his quest to clear his name and learn the truth about Lucio’s murder. During this time, Julian was able to look past his fears and learned to confide in you. It was not long before you two had declared your love for each other and secured a relationship.

After Julian’s name had been cleared and the second wave of the Red Plague disappeared, the two of you decided to become pirates. After the drama in Vesuvia died down, Julian was craving some form of adventure. He asked you to come along with him as he could not see himself doing anything without your support. Although you were unsure of the chaos the new lifestyle would bring, you decided to join him. Julian bought a new boat while you recruited crewmates to keep the ship running smoothly. It was not long before you and Julian set out for the seas, enjoying the wild adventures each day would bring.

T H E   E N D

[fleurdeliszt]

this is ALL @abunnycotton ‘s fault. Pls direct all ur anon hate at her 

For those confused, it’a sequel to this https://kimcottonbear.tumblr.com/post/183332179653/so-this-is-all-abunnycotton-s-fault-she-wanted

Also it should go without saying that this is a work of fiction. There's a a lot of bad stuff in here and if you ever meet a guy like this irl, run.

Warnings : emotional manipulation, abuse

//

“Don't you think that idol from XX company is creepy?” (+34, -1560)

“ㅋㅋㅋㅋ you mean the leader of the new boy group yeah he has serial killer vibes” (+20, -1005)

“YALL MUST be kidding bc that is an actual angel??” (+2070, -12)

“What do i-fans know of Koreans? ㅋㅋ go back to your country instead of leaving comments on Naver” (+17, -172)

“His eyes are so cold it's like he has no soul” (+23, -78)

“that's kind of my type tbh” (+268, -89)

“Aren't those all XX idols? Their company idols are all robots” (+134, -76)

//

There are downsides to letting you debut. For one thing you're very much in the public eye and it makes it very difficult for him to reach you.

For another it has encouraged unsavory individuals delusional fantasies about how you belong to them.

//

“they say if you stalk XX gg you will die” (+451, -170)

“lol wtf” (+781, -53)

“you shouldn't be stalking anyone in the first place (+1704, -5)

“No but really, it's just one member.” (+561, -351)

“this is ridiculous you're all idiots, stop stalking celebs and get a life” (+2718, -198)

//

“Hyung.”

He turns around.

The same boy who 5 years ago grinned at him carefree and happy now has an odd expression on his face.

He smiles, settling down on the sofa and beckoning the younger boy closer.

To his amusement, the boy merely flinches.

“Is there something wrong?” His tone is gentle, and the wounded expression on the boy's face grows.

“It's nothing hyung.”

//

Recently he's found it difficult to focus. It might have to do with the numerous articles being released about you.

It might have to do with your rising popularity. Or your recent dating scandal.

Or the fact that you were no longer under his control.

His and your schedules barely ever overlapped and he found it increasingly irritating that you had a world tour coming up in the next few weeks.

He himself had his musicals and various other projects and was just plainly too busy to bother with you, but--

But.

It was infuriating and agitating for things to not go his way.

He would clench his teeth and bear it for a while. But not for too long.

//

There is another award show tonight.

He's sick of them.

Yet, he smiles at the cameras as he always does and locks eyes with you for a beat longer than necessary.

Lights blink and flash wildly around the both of you as you bashfully duck your face and turn away. He lets a smile touch his lips.

//

A magazine falls in front of him.

‘Netizens suspect popular boy group member A to be dating labelmate,’ the headline seems to jump out at him. He hides his smile behind his mug of coffee.

“Oh?” He raises his eyebrow at his group member, “What's this?”

“Trashy rumors,” his fellow member sniggers, “But manager still wants to talk you. Don't get into trouble hyung.”

A pause and then,

“It's not real, is it?”

He stands up and walks to the door to meet his manager without answering the question.

//

You sit there, tears overflowing onto your cheeks.

You have never looked more beautiful to him. He wants to wipe away the tears and kiss the tear tracks, all the way up to your lips. However, there are other important matters to attend to.

Like the disappointed looks your managers are aiming at you both.

“Why are you harassing her over some netizen comments?” His voice is cold.

“You know it's not like that,” his manager hastily assures him, “It'd be fine if it's just random comments. But somebody's been leaking pics of both of you. It looks bad.”

Of course it did. He leaked them himself.

The crying by his side gets louder.

“This is such a bad time to be in a scandal,” your manager sighs,”Couldn't you have been a little more careful?”

“We aren't dating!” You exclaim, “Please explain to them,” you beseech him and he sighs.

“We aren't dating,” he repeats and both the managers give you incredulous looks.

“You're kissing her forehead here,” he points it out at you, and you turn crimson.

“We're friends.” Your denial irritates him to no extent, but it doesn't matter. At least, not now.

“You can release a statement saying as such. That we're really close or something.”

Your manager sighs. “So much trouble over nothing. Nobody will believe this we're just friends excuse. At this point I wish you were dating. It'd be easier to explain.”

“We'll discuss it with the CEO. You'll probably be called soon as well.”

He ducks his head in apology even though he can't stop the smile stretching his lips.

//

To his irritation, his company just chooses not to acknowledge the issue.

It blows over after a while, like everything always does in the entertainment industry.

It does have added unwanted effect of making your popularity skyrocket.

You're casted on more shows, more collaborations. Your talent is finally recognized, as countless people comb through your fancams to find flaws and instead find an honestly endearing girl.

The nation is smitten.

Fantastic, he thinks bitterly, sipping his coffee.

//

“Do you think hyung is dating her?”

“They seem close.”

“Do they really though? They barely ever hang out after that news release of him and her.”

“Should I ask her out then?”

“Are you insane? What if hyung knows?”

“What does it matter to him? It's not like they're dating.”

His fingers dig into his palms so hard he can see indents.

//

It's time for drastic measures.

//

He didn't want to do it. Not really. He liked maintaining status quo.

You forced his hand though. Quite impudent of you, but that's why he liked you.

//

Your world tour is next week.

He's at your place, not the dorms, your actual house, where you lived with your parents.

“I didn't know you needed that music file so urgently!” You look bashful,”I thought I could take the demo home and practice a bit.”

“Yes well, it's the only copy so we need it.” It's the only copy because he has deleted other copies but you didn't need to know that.

“Please wait a minute,” your entire face is crimson and he likes it. A lot.

You hand over the USB to him, hesitating. He knows you like him. He knows you want him to spend a little longer at your place. He knows and yet he waits for you to speak.

“Uh- do you want to eat or drink something?”

Perfect. He smiles politely at you, nodding as you disappear into the kitchen.

It's time.

//

Your scream sounds like music to him and as it's abruptly cut off he sighs. Oh well.

Arranging his face into concern and fear, he moves quickly to spot you lying at the bottom of the stairs, your leg sprawled at an unnatural angle.

He had to actively stop his smile because this had gone exactly, if not better than his plans.

//

He rushes you to the hospital.

//

“He was at her place lol how much more proof do we need” (+5647, -234)

“I'm so worried for her, it looks like she really will have to take a break, her leg looks bad” (+1236, -367)

“what a bitch lol inviting guys to her place. Bet he's not the first one” (+657, -200)

“will her concert schedules be okay, I got the tickets after so long now I can't see her” (+749, -137)

//

He refuses to leave the hospital.

Even though it's him that's the reason for all of this, he feels an unfamiliar niggling in his heart.

Guilt.

It's for your own good, he tells himself sternly.

He's just not sure he believes it anymore.

//

“He stayed here all night.”

“What?” You almost sit up, but the pain that shoots through your broken leg makes you whimper.

“Don't push yourself,” your leader smiles, “He must really like you, though.”

“He's just guilty probably,” you sigh. “That's just like him though, to feel guilty over things that are out of his control.”

“Do you want to see him?”

“Am I allowed to?” You pout, “They probably won't let him in because it'd cause a bigger issue.”

“Leave that to your unnie,” she grins at you, and you grin back, feeling lucky to be so loved.

//

“Hi,” he waves at you, a bit awkward, and so very handsome that you blush.

“Hi,” you smile back, feeling like a 14 year old once again.

“Is that… Are you feeling okay?”

“I am,” you smile, “I'm glad I hadn't broken my neck. The doctor said it's a very real possibility.”

He looks alarmed.

“It didn't happen!” You wave your arms at him, laughing, “I'm fine now.”

“But you would have...died.” The last word is a quiet whisper.

You shrug, trying to make light of it despite your fingers trembling against your sheets. “It didn't happen so, don't worry about it.”

He looks at your a moment, and pulls you into a sudden embrace.

“I couldn't bear to lose you.”

Your heart pitter-patters in your chest. He's so close to you, you can feel his warm breath washing across your neck, his large hands that grasp your waist, the lingering scent of last night's cologne mixed with something more him.

“I really wouldn't survive losing you,” he whispers, and your head spins with the implications of his words.

He pulls back, his eyes bright with intensity. “I love you.”

//

“So they were dating.”

“I'm glad I didn't ask her out, hyung would have murdered me.”

//

IS this over? Idk.. Did he change in those last few minutes of the story? Uh no.. He’still crazy, hes probably always going to be that way lol unless he gets help. I was really really really inspired by Toma from amnesia (if any of u have played that pls feel free to hit me up!!! Absolutely in love with Shin and uhh Toma sgdjdk pls don’t judge) I haven't had this urge to write in so longgg omg 

[hallelujuh]

shay’s favorite albums of 2018

10. Hivemind by The Internet - TI are insanely underrated and definitely helped me remember how much I adore R&B music. I literally love the bass lines so much - I’ve learned about half of the ones off this record, honestly. Syd’s vocals are amazing as ever, seamless and sexy and gorgeous, and I just, I love R&B music so much, gotta get into more soul shit. Favorite track: Bravo.

9. Sweetener by Ariana Grande - Somehow Ari flew under my radar for years; I simply did not care about her, and rarely heard her music on the radio, let alone sought it out. But some friends succeeded in getting me into it, and now I respect her as a singer and a person. She’s been through hell, and I admire her strength. Not to mention she’s incredibly talented as a singer. I have a hard time with pop records, because of the lack of substance and depth, but this record is a look into a person I think we’d come to forget was a person at all; it’s all her feelings, her heart on her sleeve, and it’s awesome. Not to mention her voice is literally so damn pleasant to listen to, I could fall asleep to it, haha. Favorite track: Successful. 

8. Dirty Computer by Janelle Monae - Miss Monae literally has so much going for her. She’s so immensely talented at everything, and after her success in the film industry, it was nice to witness her return to music. Dirty Computer is fun, personal, and reminds you that Janelle deserves a lot more attention and admiration as a musician, because she does some really innovative and unique stuff that is always something special to behold. She’s a damn good rapper, too, and the accompanying short film to this record was really cool. Favorite track: Screwed. 

7. Pray for the Wicked by Panic! At The Disco - After being a fan for literal ages, I finally saw Panic this year, so that was pretty damn cool. Pretty much DoaB Part Two, but that’s not a bad thing. The music is fun, Brendon’s vocals are as awesome as ever, the production is smooth as hell, and the songs were a damn blast live. A little too uppity for me, but several of the songs have been on replay at times. Favorite track: One of the Drunks. 

6. Trench by Twenty One Pilots - I have a love-hate relationship with 21p, and I’m not emo anymore, so I nearly didn’t even listen to this record, but I did, and I, grudgingly, liked it very much. It doesn’t deviate significantly from the sound of Blurryface, but incorporates a lot more bass in (which I appreciate, as a bassist). It’s also notable this album was lighter in tone, at least sonically. That’s nice. Had a bit of punk, in there, a New Wave sound, almost. Pretty interesting. And deep subject matter. I wish this band hadn’t been spoiled for me. Damn. Favorite track: Bandito. 

5. Queen by Nicki Minaj - A truly fitting title. Nicki’s always exuded a majestic sort of power, a confidence, strength, and sexiness we all can admire, and she’s never faltered in that, but she’s definitely at her top form here.  Favorite track: Barbie Dreams. The Biggie-sampled beat makes an already awesome song even better. This is essentially Nicki’s Control; honest, biting, but also wonderfully comedic and light-hearted. I will literally never forget listening to this for the first time, absolutely awed at every rapper she managed to playfully go at, and how clever each sneak-diss was. 

4. KOD by J. Cole - Cole’s been my favorite for years, and each of his recent albums have resonated with me deeply because of how genuine he comes across, even when he’s rapping about the typical things a rapper might rap about. Somehow Cole does it in a unique way and always makes it his own, so I never tire of the same topics. And he’s real, real as fuck; unapologetic and confident, but not assholish or excessively cocky. I really applaud him for that. Favorite track: 1985. Cole’s proudly embracing the fact that he’s not a youngin in the rap game anymore, and taking the role of a older figure, a wise one who advises his younger peers to reconsider their careers and their admittedly slim chances of remaining relevant. It’s brutally honest, harsh but not cruel, and absolutely admirable. Not the mention the beat is chill as fuck. Whole thing gives me goosebumps; easily one of the highlights of Cole’s career. 

3. Kamikaze by Eminem - Okay, I’m a former hardcore stan who’s turned critical in recent years, but this record fully blew me away. Marsh got relevant again! With the dope flows! Damn! One of my favorite parts of this record was the reactions - watching people remember that Em is not one to be fucked with. Not to mention the now-iconic MGK beef. What a bunch of horseshit. Killshot totally roasted the dude, though. Favorite track: The Ringer. What a way to open a record! Holy shit. I re-listened to this one repeatedly because it was so unexpectedly incredible, with the way the flow is changed up frequently, and the wordplay never falters, clever as ever. Renewed a lot of people’s faith in Em’s abilities, I think; myself included.

2. Iridescence by Brockhampton - In last year’s post I said how excited I was for what the future had in store for BH; and boy, was this year a good one for them. On this record, despite the absence of Ameer, they hold their own without him; Matt, Joba, and Dom even seem to step up to the plate, in fact, and each member spits fire, so that the manic energy from the Saturation Trilogy remains. Said trilogy helped them establish their winning song-writing and production formula, and this record polishes it.  Favorite track: Weight. Absolute goosebumps. The whole track has an otherworldly energy, but the transition from Joba’s verse into Dom’s is especially visceral. Joba’s holds an enthusiastic nihilism of sorts, and optimistic perception of life’s pain, while Dom’s is deeply depressive and harrowing, his voice full of a hurt and his words holding a wisdom beyond his years. It’s a beautiful track, through and through. 

1. Post Traumatic by Mike Shinoda - This album pretty much saved me this year. I’m very thankful to Mike for putting his feelings to music, because these tracks helped me sort out mine, and I connected to each individual song in a way I haven’t in a long time. I would actually kill to go to a show of his; it’d probably be somewhat of a spiritual thing for me, considering how deeply even the studio versions resonate. Favorite track: Hold It Together. I literally love every song on this album (except IOU...), and each is uniquely special, deeply personal, and beautifully resonates, but this one stands out for some reason. I think that breakdown towards the end adds a lot. Some other favorites are About You, Ghosts, Make It Up As I Go, and Running From My Shadow. And there’s not even words for Brooding.

honorable mentions

Expectations by Hayley Kiyoko - This one very nearly made my list, but Hivemind ending up dethroning it. It’s a great debut, full of gay bops that really kicked off 20gayteen well, I’d say. (Favorite track: Wanna Be Missed. Fun fact: My most listened song for all of 2018.)

Mania by Fall Out Boy - It’s unfortunate that my long-time favorite band didn’t make the list, but I just couldn’t get into the sound of this record. (Favorite track: Sunshine Riptide)

Bloom by Troye Sivan - He’s so big now! A big boy! I’m so proud of how far he’s come. I wasn’t as big on this album as I was on Blue Neighbourhood, but it’s still a solid sophomore record. (Favorite track: Dance to This)

Be the Cowboy by Mitski - Mitski’s sound is an aquired taste... I’m still not entirely in love with it, it’s so otherwordly in a jarring way? But I applaud her innovation. (Favorite track: Nobody)

extended plays

they’re too short to be included in my top albums, but i wanted to mention them anyway.

Lake Effect Kid by Fall Out Boy - The Chicago fuckers strike again! While the themes took away from the, uh, relatability, of the music, they’re still solid tracks that deviate from their earlier 2018 effort in a pleasant way. (Favorite track: Super Fade)

My Dear Melancholy by The Weeknd - Abel is one of my favorite musicians of all time (and was my most listened to for two years in a row) and he’d never disappoint me. MDM is sad, harrowing, and visceral, proof that Abel continues to be one of the best artists of this decade. (Favorite track: Call Out My Name)

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #239 - The Muppet Movie

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: DVD

1) The prologue.

How this film opens - with an assortment of Muppet characters getting together for a private viewing of The Muppet Movie - does well to establish tone. It’s pretty much the filmmakers telling the audience, “You don’t need to take this too seriously, it’s just a fun movie.” It reintroduces us to The Muppets who we know but in a way where this could be someone’s first Muppet film and you understand the role of each character. Not only that, but Kermit’s response to Robin’s question of if this is how the Muppets actually met enhances the meta tone.

Kermit: “Well it’s sort of approximately how it happened.”

2) “Rainbow Connection”

“Rainbow Connection” might be up there with “It’s Not Easy Being Green” as the song most associated with The Muppets, and there’s a reason for it. The song is timeless, fitting in during any era (much like the characters themselves). It is a beautiful, optimistic, and imaginative song that not only sets up Kermit’s character well but the theme of the film. It has that daydreamer element that The Muppets are essentially founded on. If you haven’t heard it before I recommend taking a listen.

3) When I was young I had no idea who all these celebrities were or that they were celebrities. Now that I’m older I can notice them in what I call “Cameo Watch!” Like this first cameo. CAMEO WATCH: Dom Deluise

4) This film has an incredibly sharp wit to it shown through its dialogue, humor, and characters.

Dom Deluise: “I have lost my sense of direction.” Kermit: “Have you tried Harry Krishna?”

5) Kermit the Frog as a character.

Okay, let me just say, it feels really weird to talk about The Muppets as characters. Because it’s hard to think of them as characters being written. They’re The Muppets! They’re Kermit and Fozzie and Ms. Piggy and they just are themselves. This mere challenge speaks wonders to the consistency of writing and performance given by the Muppeteers. Kermit for example: Kermit is totally unselfish. His entire motivation for going to Hollywood isn’t fame/fortune on its own but the opportunity to make, “millions of people happy.” He’s a pretty down to earth, reasonable frog who tags along with a bunch of nut cases and does his best to reign in the insanity. He’s lovable, he’s sharp, he’s funny, he’s Kermit the Frog. I don’t know what else to say.

6) With the film’s budget Jim Henson wanted to really push the limitations of puppeteering. One of the most difficult effects (whose deceptively simple appearance speaks well to the talent of the filmmakers) is Kermit the Frog riding a bike. I don’t even know how they did that.

7) The El Sleazo Cafe is Kermit’s first stop on his road trip/odyssey of sorts. It’s an environment which A) he is not used to and B) kind of is his contrast. Yeah he’s from a dirty swamp but this is a different kind of dirty. This is mean people who like to fight, not Kermit. Seeing this frog out of water creates a nice energy to the scene and a first good stop on the film.

8) Cameo Watch: James Coburn, Madeline Kahn, Telly Salva, Carol Kane and Paul Williams all appear in the El Sleazo scene.

9) I feel like sometimes I’m Kermit.

Kermit [about Fozzie]: “This guy's lost.” Waiter: “Maybe he should try Hare Krishna.” Kermit: “Good grief, it’s a running gag.”

10) Fozzie Bear.

The Costello to Kermit’s Abbott, I struggle to talk about Fozzie in much the same way I did with Kermit. Because what is there to say? He’s a bit of a dork but a funny, good hearted/good natured one. He’s funny, his relationship with Kermit is one of the things that keeps the franchise going as strong as it does, I don’t know what else to say. He’s Fozzie Bear.

11) Something I will say it is a testament to these performers that each Muppet feels so naturally alive. You never look at any of them and think, “That’s a lifeless bit of felt.” Not only do the likes of Jim Henson, Frank Oz, Dave Goelz, and the other Muppeteers do well at creating an individual character but distinguishing characters. These performers are working as multiple characters in a production and while older audiences might recognize the similarities in voices you don’t look at Rowlf the Dog and think, “Yep, that’s Kermit,” or at Miss Piggy and think, “Yep, that’s Fozzie.” They’re legends and it’s no mystery why.

12) Doc Hopper is actually an excellent villain for The Muppets to face off against.

The reason Doc Hopper is so effective is because he’s the total antithesis of The Muppets. He’s a greedy, conniving, insincere, manipulative sellout of a man. His dreams don’t involve making people happy they involve making himself rich and anything he can’t have he’ll destroy. Henson and crew - despite the success of The Muppets - were never doing anything because of the mainstream appeal. They had a ton of bizarre, unique, and wonderful flops under their belts (see: Labyrinth). It’s almost like Doc Hopper represents mainstream showbiz wanting them to sellout and the journey is about staying true to your dream. I love that.

13) “Movin’ Right Along”

There’s not really a bad song in the film (although there is one I really just hate but that doesn’t mean it’s bad per say, more on that later). Although none are as praised as “Rainbow Connection”, “Movin’ Right Along” is an excellent second number. It has the same amount of hope and optimism to it that infects the film, with the idea of progress and moving forward at the heart of it. It’s a great buddy song for Kermit and Fozzie, with the same amount of wit and heart that the film prides itself on.

13.1) I’d be remised if I didn’t mention two of my favorite gags in the film. The fork in the road…

And a very special cameo.

14) Not that he cares, but wouldn’t Doc Hopper using Kermit’s likeness on a billboard without his permission illegal?

15) I’m a sucker for any movie that has a moment where a character reads the script for the movie.

16) “Can You Picture That?”

In my opinion, this could possibly be the most underrated song in the Muppets’ musical canon. It stands up well against “Movin’ Right Along” and “Rainbow Connection” with its energy and positivity. Basically it’s a song about challenging your imagine and even though the lyrics can feel nonsensical that’s sort of the point. It’s about thinking of things, picturing unique things that might not make sense. But just because something doesn’t make sense doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.

17) And disguising the car worked for a grand total of 7 seconds.

Max [after being told to look out for a frog and a bear in a brown colored Studebaker]: “Gee Doc, all I see are a frog and a bear in a rainbow colored Studebaker.”

18) Gonzo the Great.

It is like each character you meet in this film is increasingly crazy. Kermit, then Fozzie, then Dr. Teeth and his band, and now the personification of Muppet weirdness times ten: Gonzo! Gonzo is fun, funny, insane, and just perfectly random enough to give the group an extra oomph. There’s a chance this weirdo might be my favorite Muppet character! Maybe, maybe not. It’s hard to pick a favorite.

(GIF originally posted by @nostalgicgifs)

19) Cameo Watch: Milton Berle.

20) Cameo Watch: Elliott Gould.

Okay, I thought I remembered all the cameos but I 100% forgot about Gould’s appearance. It actually made me jump.

21) Cameo Watch: Ed Bergen.

This scene was shot shortly before the legendary puppeteer’s death in 1978. His appearance in the movie held particular weight for Jim Henson, as Bergen and his wooden sidekick (Charlie McCarthy) influenced his interest in puppetry. The film is dedicated in Bergen’s memory.

22) I low-key love that Miss Piggy wins a beauty pageant and no one really bats an eye at it. Take that conventional standards of feminine beauty!

23) “Never Before, Never Again”

God I hate this song. I usually skip it. It’s just so awkward and uncomfortable for me to watch, but I think that’s the point. I think it’s supposed to be funny, Frank Oz singing this sweeping love ballad as Miss Piggy. And it taking itself seriously is part of the joke but it is part of that seriousness which makes me hate it. I actually wrote in my notes, “Wake me when it’s over.” I think it’s objectively a good song and good part of the film, I just flat out don’t like it. The one weak link for me in this excellent picture.

24) Wait, is Ms. Piggy meant to be the Yoko Ono of The Muppets in this movie?

25) Cameo Watch: Bob Hope and Richard Pryor both show up at the county fair.

26) The scene where The Muppets chase down Gonzo on his balloons is a fun bit of fast pacing “action” to add to the film. It’s hard for a Muppet movie to have non-musical related set pieces but the balloon chase feels appropriately Muppety while being different enough to add some variety to the story.

27) Miss Piggy.

Miss Piggy is such a larger than life character and perhaps the character with the most to do in the series. She is a diva with aspirations of being famous, but she also knows characters and any time The Muppets need a fight scene they bring in Miss Piggy! As mentioned above, Frank Oz does a great job not only breathing life into the character but making her so different from Fozzie.

28) Cameo Watch: Steven Martin.

Steve Martin might do the most with his cameo. He is an over the top frustrated waiter, something anyone who’s ever worked in food service can relate to. Steve Martin is pretty much great in anything though.

29) The dinner date between Kermit and Miss Piggy is actually really nice, makes me understand why they date.

30) Rowlf the Dog.

Possibly the most interesting thing about Rowlf is how people have noted his personality matches Jim Henson’s the closest out of all of Henson’s characters. In recognition of this, Rowl didn’t speak in his film appearances for a while after Henson passed away. He’s a fun character already, but I think this detail adds a nice layer of heart to it.

31) “I Hope That Something Better Comes Along”

In typical Muppet fashion, something as relatable and common as heartache is turned into an upbeat bar tune. It’s one of the nicest songs in the film and a real ear worm. It is also essentially Jim Henson singing with himself so take a moment to let that set in.

32) Cameo Watch: Mel Brooks.

Okay, Mel Brooks might do the most with HIS cameo. Brooks commits to the comedy and insanity of the performance just as he would in any of his own films (Blazing Saddles, Spaceballs) and it really adds a shot of energy to the scene. Brooks is so active, he does so many little things to add to his character/performance/comedy. I wonder how much of it was improv.

33) So I feel like the filmmakers didn’t know how to get from Miss Piggy ditching Kermit for a gig to Miss Piggy rejoining the group on the road, so they literally decided to stop the movie and let the audience breathe for a moment. I love that.

34) “I’m Going To Go Back There Someday”

This is such a beautiful and bittersweet melody. It comes at the film’s low point, when the group thinks their dreams are done for. But the song is just so lovely it makes my heart warm. The lyrics are wonderful and I think it’s an amazing ballad. I love it.

35) Life lessons from Kermit the Frog.

Kermit: “I can’t spend my whole life running away from a bully.”

36) Oh quick, the film is almost over! Let’s get Bunsen and Beaker in at the end!

37) Kermit’s heartfelt plea, of choosing happiness over money and finding family/friends, is great. But Doc Hopper’s response to it is so sad.

Kermit: “If what I'm saying doesn't make any sense, well then... go ahead and kill me.” Doc Hopper [after a moment to think, reluctantly]: “All right boys. Kill him.”

38) Deus Ex Animal.

39) Cameo Watch: Cloris Leachmen.

40) Cameo Watch: Orson Welles.

Welles’ character’s name Lew Lord is actually a reference to real-life Producer Sir Lew Grade. When Jim Henson was trying to find a producer to make The Muppet Show, no American network was interested in the concept. Grade recognized the potential in the idea and helped make the show happen.

41) Ah, if only it were this easy.

Lew Lord: “Prepare the standard ‘Rich & Famous’ contract.”

42) The finale of this film, “Magic Store,” is a fun final number. It shows The Muppets have made it, they’re doing what they love. It’s the culmination of everything up to this point and even when things don’t go as they plan they’ll roll with it. And we’re given a great final message.

Kermit: “Life’s like a movie, write your own ending…” Muppets: “Keep believing, keep pretending; we've done just what we've set out to do, thanks to the lovers, the dreamers, and you!”

The Muppet Movie might still very well be the best film to feature the classic characters. It has their trademark heart, humor, and imagination all in top form. You can watch it at any time, it ages very well. So whether it’s your first or last time putting it in, I’d say give The Muppet Movie a watch.

[headlesssamurai]

Have you seen Altered Carbon? If so, what do to think of it?

Alright, I finally bucked up enough courage to do another honest, non-sarcastic, write-up for a piece of media. Just been somewhat bitterly reluctant to voice my true opinions on fiction, or anything else really, since it seems like lots of folks are quite intensely engaged in violent uproars of one kind or another. No need to add more noise to the feedback loop, if you know what I mean.

But you’re, like, one of a dozen or so dudes who asked me about this series. So I reckoned I’d write it up for you, it being such a popular subject and all. I’d also like to thank you for your curiosity. It’s pretty damn humbling to know anybody cares enough about what I think to even ask after my thoughts. I’ll make sure to offer a notary warning before I spill any spoilers.

I became acquainted with Richard K. Morgan’s Kovacs-verse a few years back, but accidentally read one of the protagonist’s later adventures before backtracking to the original novel. I found it to be a respectably well-written futuristic detective story in the grand tradition of vintage writers like Robert B. Parker, even if including the predictably pornographic sex scenes in the grand tradition of modern urban sci-fi/fantasy writers like Laurell K. Hamilton (maybe the ‘K’ middle initial is a code for graphic sex content). In preparation for watching the new Netflix series, I re-read Morgan’s Altered Carbon to refresh my knowledge of the future he created.

Now, I’d like to say I’m a prolific reader of novelized fiction and other books, but I’m not one of those “hardcore” purists who always cries “the book was better” while pounding my fist on the podium. Thus in my effort to avoid any such farcical nonsense, I’m going to sort of examine both the book and the Netflix series of Altered Carbon at once, and write about what I enjoy and dislike about both versions, instead of directly comparing them.

I’ve grown so cynical with modern film and TV, I tend to unintentionally generate lists of what I think they’ll change about a book’s story once they adapt it, and what they’ll add and leave out. Usually, these lists are fairly accurate. Game of Thrones, for instance: how depressing it is to be absolutely correct some times. Not that the books were much better, but a pinecone up the ass doesn’t make a kick in the nuts feel any better.

A lot of people would describe Altered Carbon as having cyberpunk vibes, and this is true, but I believe it fits more comfortably into the realm of biopunk than anything else. If you’re not familiar with the concepts herein, Altered Carbon involves a distant future in which humanity has colonized the stars over many generations using sleeper ships, and with a little help from recovered alien star-maps, but has not achieved faster-than-light interstellar travel. The central technology in this universe is the cortical stack, a type of neural backup which allows a person’s consciousness to be digitally stored in a “disc” and uploaded into a new body if they die.

The new bodies are referred to as sleeves, and the filthy rich clone themselves so their sleeves are all identical and genetically enhanced, but most common folk have to accept whatever body is available or is covered by their insurance, or even a synthetic sleeve (which in the novel is a cheap and distasteful thing, but in the series synthetics seem to have superpowers). People can only travel quickly to other star systems in the settled worlds (known as the Protectorate) by transmitting their stored consciousness into another cortical stack on their planet of destination and uploading into a new sleeve there (a process called needlecasting), but physically transporting anything still takes a really long time for ships to travel across the vast distance of space.

Straight out of the gate, this concept does not appeal to me at all. If there’s anything that drains your story of tension and thrills, it’s got to be the idea that everyone lives forever. The way the universe is constructed however, it ends up making the story far more interesting than what I had anticipated. Not everyone can afford to live forever, first of all, since re-sleeving can be an extremely expensive undertaking, and even those who have the money rarely feel the desire to live more than two lifetimes. Additionally there are complications which can arise, such as personality fragging, a type of insanity which occurs when a person is sleeved in one too many different bodies throughout their life.

Certain religious groups also vehemently resist re-sleeving, and for law enforcement various lengthy sentences of storage without the possibility to re-sleeve are the primary means of punishment for most crimes. There are even interesting concepts like criminals who copy their consciousness into several cortical stacks at once, making them difficult to apprehend once and for all. Other criminals and intelligence operatives also utilize virtuality to torture people in a digital environment, allowing them to subject victims to days or even months of agony which equates to only a few hours in real-time. Real death can also still occur, if the individual’s cortical stack is badly damaged or destroyed.

The actual plot involves a former soldier named Takeshi Kovacs, who is paroled early from a criminal sentence and re-sleeved by a rich tycoon who offers to exonerate Kovacs of his crimes if he can solve a murder. While reluctant to work for some rich asshole, Kovacs is almost instantly attacked by mercenaries which makes him curious enough to take the case. Kovacs then works to investigate the purported crime while getting himself into a bit of trouble with the locals, and trying to deal with extreme trauma from his combat experiences.

It’s surprising that in the case of Altered Carbon I was entirely incorrect in everything I thought the producers might add/change/amputate from the original story. I also could not have predicted what they decided to add and how they decided to change certain elements from the story of Morgan’s novel. I believe the series they crafted from his story is competently scripted, very well cast, doesn’t waste too much time with any silly subplots, and is generally a well-paced, adult-themed sci-fi story. Altered Carbon really wants to take itself seriously, in the same vein as things like SyFy’s praiseworthy diamond The Expanse, but its unique setting gets a little too bogged down in conventional tropes for my liking. Gratuitous T&A (as well as other, less commonly exploited extremities) and generous helpings of the fuck-words do not an edgy and intense sci-fi experience make. Good but not great, would be my general assessment of the series.

Don’t get me wrong here, Altered Carbon is plenty intense, even thrilling at certain points, but a somewhat bland smattering of writers and directors, thrown into the recipe with a few others who are brilliant geniuses, create a mixed bag of stylistic choices which don’t always fit together very well. So you’re often left with an unusually faithful adaptation of a badass novel, wonderfully enhanced in certain aspects, but grotesquely mutated in others, and some of the conflicting storytelling elements feel hurriedly stitched together. A Patchwork Man of a story, rather than prime quality tank flesh. None of Altered Carbon’s flaws are crippling however, and all-told I’d say the series is eminently watchable and very worth your while if you enjoy futuristic sci-fi stories.

WARNING: Spoilers ahead.

First the good news. This series stars an extremely talented cast of performers who own their roles with wonderful conviction, and very convincing poise.

Joel Kinnaman has been on my good side since he appeared in The Killing, and even his unfortunate role in the Robocop reboot didn’t water down my appreciation for him. I feel like his role as the newly sleeved Takeshi Kovacs was perfectly cast. Martha Higareda is just a little too cute to be such a badass, but she winds up playing Detective Ortega to that strong female archetype in a far less sensational and much more casual way than what you might expect from the modern trends of scripting for such characters. Though quite the opposite of Higareda in terms of the role she plays, Renée Elise Goldsberry brims with charisma as Quellcrist Falconer, a sort of futuristic Che Guevara if he had also practiced Zen and gong fu, and was a woman. Chris Collins is also incredibly memorable as Kovacs’ A.I. hotel manager Poe.

Ato Essandoh as Vernon Elliott became one of my favorite characters as the series goes on, and though I wasn’t totally sold on the arc of her character Hayley Law as Elliott’s daughter Lizzie completed a very nice trifecta of beautiful lead women who just happen to be racially diverse. The third of these ladies, of course, is Dichen Lachman who I’ve got to say delivers probably the most convincing and most nuanced performance in the entire series, having to run a wild labyrinth of different emotional expressions which all feel very genuine. As was the case with Sylvia Hoeks as Luv in Blade Runner: 2049, Dichen Lachman as Rei hooked me instantly and woudn’t let go. Maybe I just got a thing for sociopathic women or something.

There are also a few minor roles worth mentioning, Marlene Forte does a great job as the overbearing mother of detective Ortega, which again felt very genuine and not forced, Tamara Taylor as ambitious sleazy attorney Oumou Prescott gave me chills with her smug smile (again perfect casting), Kristin Lehman and James Purefoy seem a perfectly matched pair of megalomaniacs, Byron Mann and Will Yun Lee kick ass portraying Kovacs at very different stages of his troubled life, and there is some terrifically believable acting on the parts of child actors Morgan Gao and Riley Lai Nelet.

All that being said, not everything the actors are given to do is particularly well-written, in my humble opinion.

Takeshi Kovacs is something called an Envoy, a type of specially trained soldier who is mentally conditioned to be hyper-aware at all times, integrate and adapt to new environments and circumstances, and even manipulate his own bodily chemistry, allowing him to eliminate the pain threshold, instantly recover from debilitating drugs, and avoid lingering trauma from torture. The Envoys were created to help the Protectorate put-down political dissidents and rebels, which were running rampant throughout the settled worlds at the time of the Envoy Program’s inception. Many of these rebels often followed the outlawed “Quellist” writings of an infamously respected revolutionary leader called Quellcrist Falconer who fought, and lost, against the Protectorate hundreds of years before the time of the novel (and long before Kovacs was born). When she was born, Quellcrist Falconer, like Kovacs, also happened to be from Harlan’s World. In the novel, this reputation causes Harlan’s World to be viewed as a backwater source of rogues and misfits by citizens of more civilized worlds (which is fair, since it’s described by Kovacs as being overrun by crime syndicates and swamp gangs). But even compared to Harlan’s World, Earth is considered a polluted over-populated shit hole.

In the novel he was trained by the somewhat fascist forces of the Protectorate, and the Envoy Corps was an elite black ops group who could be transmitted to any planet and topple the regime in less time than it would take a massive army to win a single battle. In the series, Kovacs is just a random soldier burn during the time of the Quellist revolution, but Envoys were created and trained by revolutionary leader Quellcrist Falconer to combat the very fascist forces of the Protectorate, whom were too used to conventional warfare to properly adapt to Quell’s asymmetrical tactics.

The problem for me, with this particular change in the writing, is that much of the details have been glossed over. I never got a sense of how Quell was able to so efficiently condition her soldiers into such a formidable force, nor did her portrayal emphasize her military acumen in this manner very convincingly. Quell’s character is certainly charismatic and sympathetic to the audience, but I find it much easier to accept that Envoys are the product of sociopathic, strict, and brutal military conditioning than to grasp the concept that a fairly undisciplined group of freedom fighters were able to develop such a sophisticated method of training. If Quell’s rebels were portrayed differently, it might be easier to accept, but in the series they seem more like hippies with guns than hardened elite warriors.

This is one of my only major gripes with the series as a whole, and it wouldn’t even be that big of a deal to me if it didn’t play such a large role in the plot and arc of Kovacs as a character. I didn’t like the way it changed his backstory either.

See, in the novel Kovacs is a former Envoy turned career criminal since Envoys are generally feared by everyone despite their having fought for the Protectorate, so they don’t have a lot of options and their skillset is only useful in a limited context. He’s haunted by his combat experiences, regrets his role in assisting the government in putting down various rebels, and has a cultural misunderstanding of Earth because he’s from Harlan’s World. His criminal ventures could be seen as his own personal revolution, and Kovacs has spent about a century in and out of storage since leaving the military, but has only been consciously alive for about forty years. He isn’t portrayed as a morally centered person, but he has his own system of honor, and he selfishly accepts Laurens Bancroft’s offer because it’s a way out of a lengthy sentence. This gives him a nice arc, because he slowly becomes more morally invested in what he’s doing as certain things come to light, and ultimately risks it all toward the end basically to avenge the death of a prostitute and save a single life, which is a nice shift in contrast from the Kovacs we see leave storage at the start of the book.

In the series Kovacs is a lovesick puppy dog, who misses his one true love. He’s a former Quell revolutionary who also became a career criminal, but the moment he got caught they put him in storage indefinitely, because he’s the last of the Envoys, the rest of which were mercilessly butchered by stormtroopers from the evil Protectorate which has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. When the series begins, he awakens 250 years after he was captured and he finds that the galaxy has become what he always feared, a one-percenter’s paradise ruled by the rich, where the poor are exploited and marginalized and everyone with even the slightest sense of prominence is an irredeemable asshole. Politics aside, this change makes his character arc far less interesting to me, because he doesn’t want to help Bancroft but his reluctance comes from a very different place than the book, and ultimately Kovacs accepts the offer not out of selfishness but because the ghost of his dead girlfriend tells him to.

This also deeply conflicts with the first time we’re introduced to Kovacs, in his usual East Asian sleeve on Harlan’s World where he speaks of caring only for “getting paid” and seems like a typical devil-may-care bad boy. Then when he’s talking to Bancroft, he tells the tycoon “Some things can’t be bought. Like me.” So which is it? Do you only care about getting paid, or can you not be bought? This makes for a somewhat confusing characterization of Kovacs, who one minute is murderously avenging himself upon psychotic bio-smugglers and claiming he cares for no one, only to turn around and behave like a typical romantic the next. It isn’t entirely jarring, but for me it hurt the dark tone and mature themes to discover the central core of the series is a centuries-old fairytale love story.

Sorry. I like fairytale love stories. But I also like darkly thematic dystopian science fiction, and in my opinion the two mix about as well as apple liqueur and olive oil.

This is all, however, as I said one off my only major gripes about the series. And even the sum of its parts aren’t badly executed. Like I said, Quell is charismatic, Kovacs is haunted, and all three actors (Kinnaman, Goldsberry, and Kim as Kovacs in his original sleeve) deliver convincing performances as well as share a great sense of chemistry, so the love story is believable at least. Visual effects and set design are also wonderful, and for such a high concept sci-fi setting it all feels very seamless. Dialogue is well-scripted as well, and most of Poe’s interactions with other characters are some of the best scenes. It’s also nice to see a series that exploits the naked female form to a fault, yet also makes a point to ensure you get just as much if not far more male nudity to surprisingly counterpoint its shamelessness. I haven’t seen this many swinging dicks since the last time I read YouTube comments. Just makes you feel better when the characters finally ride the stuffed unicorn, know what I mean?

Many of the minor roles from the novel are also modified to make certain characters more important, and some of their roles have been altered so that they are completely different people. Some of these changes work better than others. Rei, as Tak’s sister rather than just some asshole crime boss he once knew, was a change in the story that had the reverse effect of how I felt about the altered Kovacs/Envoy backstory. It makes Reileen a more interesting character than just the Big Bad you might expect in such a story, and causes her motivations, maniacal as they remain, to be far more empathic and invested in the events of the plot. In that light, they made the villain stand out as memorable among the bland villains we often get in movies and TV shows now, thanks to the K-Mart quality antagonists so popularized by the Marvel movies.

While certainly not perfect, Altered Carbon still manages to offer fans of science fiction a fascinating world populated by characters who are easy to give a damn about, and a galaxy spanning story of heartbreak, betrayal, and retribution. I personally wasn’t that big a fan of the romantic warrior monk stuff in this particular story, but that doesn’t mean it won’t appeal to others. There’s enough mystery here to keep you guessing, and enough solid dramatic force to keep us wanting more on its own merits, not by virtue of any stupid cliffhangers. Much of the visual style and action sequences are just icing on the cake, really. Though, I confess, I almost jizzed my pants when I got to see the Phillips Squeeze Gun in action. And there’s nothing quite like one of those sci-fi stories where someone picks up a samurai sword, let alone during the finale.

All told, I’d watch Altered Carbon again, and you should too. Regardless of whatever I say, or my own personal preferences, it deserves your attention. Because it may be adapted from a novel, but a least it’s trying to be something different than most of what’s out there right now, even if its poetic love story doesn’t want it to be. So, ignore cynical bastards like me, watch the damn show and decide for yourself.

                    侍    headless                   

[alexanderessex3dstoryart]

Script-Writing - Characters, Themes and Story

For today’s research, I thought I would establish my characters, story and the themes that I want to bring across for the scene for the script-writing part of my essay so that I can refer back to this and help me write my essay. Starting off, I thought about which characters would be involved in my scene as well as a fact file of how they behave and what’s their relationship to one another.

Characters

Ego (Jekyll Character)

Obsessed with the ideas of celebrities and idols in the universe as they act like gods and role-models to him

Very handy person and the best at his craft of making things but also mending things too

Has learned to adapt to the ongoing changes of the world with cyber technology

So good at his craft to the point he’s fixing the most important people in the city like the president and the top celebrities that reside in the area

Despite his extreme time he puts into the craft as well as how he’s the best at what he does, he doesn’t get any recognition for his efforts which is what allows his body to transform into the Hyde character

But despite this detail, he still is a really nice individual who doesn’t intend in hurting in anybody or saying anything cruel

Sane individual for the most part at the beginning of the story but becomes much more insane over the course of the story and what leads to the eventualfull downfall of both Ego and Impluse

Nice person at the start of the story but then turns sour and in his last moments, he recognises his faults and what leads him and Hyde to pass away from this world for good

Is obsessed over the celebrity ‘Chance’ due to being the one he’s fixed the most on and having the closet relationship too out of the all the celebs in the city despite her never acknowledging his talents or wanting to share them to the world

Has a bit of a god complex

The name Ego is a literal definition for the character as he has a huge ego about himself and his work. Whislt he may be truly the best at his craft, his idea of himself thinking the world revolves around him makes him feel like he should be under the spotlight from how hard he’s worked 

Impulse (Hyde Character)

A spirit that possess Ego from the natural world that reatin’s the physical presence of him but in a giant mechanical mech

Thinks independently to Ego but is a manifestation of Ego’s hatred towards Idol culture

Is very much against the whole idea of celebs and idols from how people obsess over them so much to the point they lose their own identity

Wants people to experience life outside of the city and apprentice living 

Loves living and 

Hates anything that closely resembles anything famous as he finds that environment toxic

Has murderous intent but not to the point he wants to murder everything in his path as he has morals to who he needs to kill which frankly, he only ever kills one individual across my story

Whilst he has murderous intent, he’s fascinated by humanity and what it has to offer as the holograms in the city he finds special as they look at him not as a junk monster, but has someone that has compassion 

Wants to be seen as human and be accepted as individual and not a freak of nature

Whilst against Jekyll for the most part, he serves as a mentor for Jekyll through the course of the story and allows him to experience life outside of the city despite being very narcissistic from Impulse murdering his role model 

Literally has Ego chained up inside of Impulse’s body

The name Impulse is to represent his hatred for the city and what it stands for and how it operates. The city to him acts as a graveyard to him which is ironic from where he came from that being a junkyard in the forested areas outside of the city. The reason he sees it this way is due to how the humans want less and less of their identity to be shown in that culture with most organic parts being replaced by robotic parts to gain an edge as well as becoming obsessed with celeb culture. Both of these to him make humans want to become something else like they’re not happy with themselves and try to aspire to be their own unique self.

Chance (Sir Danvers Carew Character)

Ego’s biggest idol and the one that he obsesses over the most out of all the idols in the city

Relies on Ego to fix her equipment being her arms, head and legs as they need the most attention. This is to symbolise without these facial features and appenditures, your just a generic body that could be casted off as a slab of meat which shows lack of soul

Is killed by Impluse with a broken off road sign found in the slums and is used to stab her right in the heart and prop her up against the entrance of the slums. This symbolises the disconnect from the slum world to the flashy city as whilst it was Ego’s favourite idol, the general public care about her death for a couple of days until she’s old news and the next idol takes her place like she didn’t exist. This is why shes propped up halfway between these two worlds as the world sees her but is then casted away into the slums.

Might consider having just her body presented to the world with no arms, legs or head to further drive that symbolism across 

The name Chance is inspired by how you have to be incredibly lucky to reach elitist status in the world in terms of being a celebrity which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s just that it adds 

Once I’d covered the characters, I went back on my previous blog posts and ideas and list out my themes that I would like to convey in the scene as well as covering the whole story too.

Themes

Lack of identity - From the removal of identity from the use of cyber enhancements replacing people’s characteristics with new ones as well as obsessing over celebrity culture to the point of not having an identity yourself. Essentially, the city acts like a graveyard

Roger Ebert puts it best -

Humanity - Impulse covers this theme the best through the usage of holograms as they severe as the closest living thing to accepting who he is which emphasises the humanity of Impulse despite his murderous intent 

Apprenticing Life for what it has to offer - Impluse commits actions that he believes will help grow Ego to become a better person. Whilst these methods are brutal and sadistic, it’s to further emphasise the point to abandon the city he’s all too familiar with. In addition to this, the world outside of the city is filled with life and exploration but because everyone is so attached to the city, no one dares to leave because they are so attached to it and feel terrified if they leave something they’re too familiar with

Attachment?

For the story, I looked back on the script-writing website on how to write a synopsis for a story for script-writing and this is what it breaks-down to; Beginning, Inciting incident, first turning point, call to action, point of no return, all is lost, second turning point, climax, the end. I think for the context for the script and essay, I think I’ll stick to these terms as it will help to establish the general story I want to bring across.

Story Beginning - Ego is a hard-working individual who works his way through the ranks of the engineering world becoming the best at his craft to the point he’s working with high-end celebrities, idols and important influential people. 

Inciting Incident - He then ends up working with his favourite idol that he obsesses over by the name of ‘Chance’. Although despite working with her so much, she doesn’t seem to pay any real interest into him or acklodge he exists. In fact, he’s a blur to her despite fixing her at the worst points in her idol career. It doesn’t help that he’s been also promised at a chance at the spotlight by her for his hard-working efforts and dedication to his craft. This leads to him becoming depressed and feel disconnected to her as his talents aren’t recognised on stage by her or she does anything to put him in the spotlight. But at the same time, he feels a bit of hatred towards her being casted away from her.

First turning point - Saddened by this continuous guilt and this hatred brewing, he flocks outside of the city to the abandoned wasteland that lies on the outside of the city as he feels worthless and forgotten in the world. This leads him to this natural wasteland with greenery from top to bottom but because of his  emotions, he doesn’t take in it’s beauty and ploughs through the deserted environment. He then ends up in an abandoned junkyard in the greenery which then his hatred begins to manifest and create the character that is known as Impluse with large bits of scrap coming from either side attaching to his body and part of the scenery as well like skulls and plants.

Call to action - Impulse begins to gain conscious of his surroundings and initially has quite the negative reaction to Ego being inside his body as Ego is hung up inside supporting him with his arms and legs are inside Impulse’s body. However rather than scold him and threaten him, he hesitates and takes in the life around him with the flourishing natural environment almost speaking to him. It’s at this stage he almost forgets who he is as he becomes in tranced of his surroundings. Puzzled and confused, Ego tries talking to him which he then snaps back to a perfectly normal expression and questions the feelings he’s feeling as he’s never felt something like that before. Ego is quick to pass it off as star-gazing as there’s nothing special to this area in his eyes. Impulse then feels angered from that comment as he wants to protect what he can’t see is beautiful. This leads to Ego influencing Impluse to see what truly is beautiful in his eyes which leads Impulse to the city.

Point of No Return - When they arrive at the city, Impulse is confused at what he’s actually looking at as all he can see are blank black and white screens with different lettering to them and emptyless buildings. Comparing this to Ego’s perception of the city, he’s in a trance like state from all of the pretty colours that shine down around the city with the moving imagery of holograms scattered across. Both characters have a back and forth to what they find so special about the city with Ego amazed by the colours and flashiness of it and Impluse very much unable to grasp the culture being presented to him. This then leads to the two characters walking into the slums of the city to which they see Chance coming out of one of the buildings as she walks into the city. Impulse ends up killing Chance to prove a point to Ego that you shouldn’t be attached to this kind of toxic behaviour as he stabs Chance through her body just outside of the streets of the city with her legs, head and arms being ripped off. Ego is unable to see this murder occur as he passes out from losing control of himself in Impulse’s body.

All is lost - Ego wakes up in his bed with metal panels, scrap and environment scattered across his living space thinking it was all a bad dream until he sees the decapitated head of Chance and her limbs arranged in front of him. Ego is in immense sadness and confusion to how this has happened as he trembles in his movements that he's his role model is all mangled up in front of him. Things don’t help as on TV where the body is, his wrench is at the crime scene getting the wrong kind of spotlight he wished for. Impluse starts speaking to his head without the need of his humgoous body telling him it was the right thing to do.

Second turning Point - This makes Ego start to fester his hatred again and begin at it’s peak level as he wishes the whole world can burn and no-one deserves to live becoming just like Impulse when they first met. However, Impulse is feeling heavily resentful despite still hating the idol culture that is shown in the city as he regrets killing human life even if it taught him a lesson. He snaps out Ego’s mindset out of his head and asks him to come back to the city. WIth Ego standing in middle of the crosswalks, he begins to understand what it’s like to live life and the happiness it has being himself.

Climax - Unfortunately, this revelation from Ego is brought short as the police have spotted him in the city which Ego allows Impulse to take over his body and take him away from the city in a chase sequence. This then brings both characters to the in between of the city and the green wasteland where it’s marky and desert looking. Both Ego and Impulse sacrifice themselves in a chemical explosion so that they can both escape this world together as they know they aren’t suited here and are better known in a different life

The End - Nothing really happens or really changes to the city as the world keeps on moving on how it’s always been. However despite the irony that everything is remaining the same, more and more life starts to grow around the city encouraging people to explore and detach themselves from the culture that’s established in the city and experience a new life out of the city.

I think from my development today on the script-writing project, I can fully understand the scene that I would like to make now knowing the whole story, character’s intentions and backgrounds as well as my general themes being established in this document. I think to help with the essay structure, I plan to look into other scripts and see how I can both write and plan my scene out.

[michael-radi-the-glamorous-life]

Hold Your Breath. Make A Wish. Count To Three.

You know how you sometimes have this dream - it could be a nighttime thing, or a daydream, or some lofty ethereal goal - but it’s something you just can’t quite imagine. It’s there and you can almost picture it, but only ever just almost.

I’ve had so many of these dreams that I lost count long ago. But I think it’s something that’s just in the DNA of artists and creative types.

Right?

Well, beginning sometime around the fall of 2016 I had this dream (the goal kind) of what it would be like, feel like, look like, sound like, etc to see The King’s Legacy - which had finally found the correct structure - come to life in a full production.

It simultaneously felt easily attainable and yet a thousand years off. I truly could almost see it happening. But it wasn’t happening - not yet anyway. So all I could do was just keep imagining and letting various scenarios pass through my head.

But I will tell you that, when it came down to the reality, it was nothing like I had imagined.

It was so much better.

Come With Me And You’ll Be In A World Of Pure Imagination

Writers are often asked:

“Do you see the show in your head as you write? Are you staging it? Directing it?”

And I am absolutely certain that some writers can and do.

But not me.

That’s not to say that I’m not imagining how it could possibly go and making sure that it seems workable, both as someone who has directed and continues to perform as an actor. But I either do not have the ability or the synapse wiring to fully direct the show in my brain as I write/create the entire world of a possible production. For me, it’s more a conglomeration of possibilities than it is a concrete idea.

And that’s where Chris J. Handley comes into the story.

I’ve known Chris as an actor since 2014 and one of the first things that struck me about him is that he is - plainly and simply - extremely good at what he does: as an actor, singer, emcee, and overall professional. He is an artistic force to be reckoned with.

Last year I had the pleasure of finally encountering Chris as a director as well (in The Spider’s Web at BVT). I had a small role, but I thoroughly enjoyed sitting in on the rehearsals - even when I was not needed - just to watch Chris work and direct. His intelligence and grasp of overall picture, while never letting the details slip away, is really a special experience.

So when I was told Chris would be the director for The King’s Legacy this summer, I was thrilled.

There is much I could say about the process of working with Chris on the script prior to the actual production, but the biggest takeaway for me from our early conversations was that he had a complete and utter grasp on what the piece was, wanted to be, its flow, its importance, and all of the layers that were on the page. It was like being fully seen for the first time - our conversations were deep and productive and wonderful.

And - if you would indulge me another moment - when we got to the summer and I finally got see the production elements that he had put together with the designers, I knew he truly understood the piece.

There was no doubt: this musical was going to truly come to life.

We’ll Begin With A Spin

There is a flow to the script of The King’s Legacy that is, potentially, a little difficult to find.

With the framing device of having the show performed by a troupe of Elizabethan Players, there are elements of narration and driving storyline that move the piece quickly between scenes and songs. And there’s a great deal of storytelling that must be done very quickly.

What Chris and the entire design team put together was a show that could move as quickly, freely, and easily as the words and performers have to move.

There is space. There is freedom. There is an element of play built directly into the production from the top down. And it’s awesome.

In a show where there is a great deal of information, 20 characters, and countless scene shifts, the whole experience can be somewhat dizzying at times. And when that is appropriate to the piece, they’ve allowed it to continue to exist in that way. And at times when we’d rather not give that experience to the audience, they figured out a way to create a more grounded experience, without losing the sense of movement.

Running through the show for the very first time in the rehearsal room was, as an actor, an exhausting and delightfully rewarding experience. The show is a runaway train that can never slow down or stop until it absolutely must, and it is this movement that Chris has infused throughout the entire show so masterfully.

The core, the heart, of this show has been lain bare for the audience, and it’s a beautiful experience.

Traveling In The World Of My Creation

Now, as the writer, walking into the theater is an awe-inspiring experience. Every time.

They built a world. There is literally a different world built in our space. And it’s the world of the show that I wrote…

I mean, whoa. That’s the coolest thing - like - period. Holy wow.

It’s beautiful. It’s magical. It’s period. Yet it’s not. It’s theatrical. It’s musical. And it’s our world - our home - for the next 9 days.

There have been a number of incredible experiences for me working in theater - as an actor, musical director, educator, and so on - but the experience of walking into this world fully realized for the first time is not something I am going to forget any time soon.

There it is. It’s right there.

Is it what I imagined? Nope. No way.

It’s so much better.

If You Want To View Paradise, Simply Look Around And View It

So, as we walk into our opening night tonight, what do I want to say?

I’m really not sure.

All I know that I can say is that I am so thankful and grateful for having been given the opportunity to bring this show to life for the first time, and with this insanely talented group of people. This team has been nothing short of incredible, and I could not be happier with the work they have done and the world they have built.

This world - this dream - exists because of these amazing individuals, who I must give credit to:

Executive Artistic Director - Karin Bowersock

Associate Artistic Director - Katelyn Cantu

Director - Chris J. Handley

Assistant Director - Kate Reynolds

Set Design - Christopher and Justin Swader

Lighting Design - Mary Ellen Stebbins

Costume Design - Sammi Miller

Costumes/Wardrobe - Valerie Frizzell

Costume Assistants - Joan Luther, Joan York

Sound Design - Rich Miller

Musical Director - Annabelle Revak

Stage Manager - Morgan Montgomery

Assistant Stage Manager - Andrea Armer

Choreographer - Adam Corcoran

Assistant Choreographer (+) - Meaghan Finlay

Dramaturg - Liz Porter Woods

Technical Director - Sam Santoianni

Assistant Technical Director - Mary Atchley

Props Mistress - Ammy Roth

Props/Paints - Mary Claunch

Carpentry - Mars Peterson, Ace Evans

Electrics - Amber Hahn, Amanda Ryan

Marketing/Administration - Emily Haan

Administration - Angela Einwachter

House Manager - Mary Peaty

Box Office/Front of House - Caity Peaty, Angela, Kyle Rook

Player 1 - Mike Kinzer

Player 3 - Mark Poppleton

Player 4 - Jennifer Arfsten

Player 5 - Hannah Karpenko

Player 6 - Alex Loucks

Player 7 - Tess Marshall

Player 8 - Leigh Martha Klinger

Player 9 - Bunny Baldwin (care of Joyce Baldwin)

As you can see, it really does take a village.

And now, all that is left to do is to soak in this paradise together - as artists, as creatives, as audience, and as lovers of theatre.

Yeah. Let’s do this thing.

[kinghelmsley]

maybe too obvious but your opinion on dustin/greg please :)))! (i love them so so much wow).

get ready this is gonna be real long. cool yes. I didn’t know if i should write it about them as a team or individually so i am gonna do both? Greg: So being a fan of Trent includes being so impressed with how technically good he is but also being immensely worried about his well being because he takes crazy bumps and truly loves it, because it makes him “feel alive” But I don’t think he gets enough recognition for how technically good he is! Or how clean he is in his moves. I think he’s a great singles wrestler and a great tag team wrestler. He’s consistent, rarely does a move good one time and bad another. He’s so unique. He gives the people his true self..he’s not really playing a character or acting in a way that’s not him. It makes him one of the best babyfaces I’ve ever watched. He said “I’m the guy that gets his ass kicked, I get the shit kicked out of me every single match, I get up and I keep going” and man I think about it a lot because he’s not the classic smiley babyface. He’s a weirdo who crab man walks to the ring because it’s his essence and yells “NYAHH” when he does moves. And I love him with my whole heart. I love his appreciation for art and how he has made sure my friend gets paid for the artwork she does for him for shirts. An all around good guy. Dustin: I really don’t know how to start this. Dustin invokes too many emotions in me. He’s truly the heart of PWG, the heart of Reseda and I think it’s cause people genuinely get how much Dustin has put into wrestling and how he deserves so much more than what he gets. His humor, whether it’s in the ring or on commentary is something people connect with and remember. It builds a bond almost. He literally thinks he’s the worst wrestler in the world but also knows how fucking talented he is. His self depreciating humor is so relatable yet I want him to believe that he is a great wrestler and people love and appreciate his work. He knows how to make people go through many emotions while watching his matches. And I love that, cause I love matches that feel like a mini movie where you smile, laugh, feel sad, and maybe even cry in the end. And he pulls those emotions out of me when I watch him.  He does a beautiful dropkick, a beautiful moonsault, he’s fuckin good at ddts! and he invented the move Sole Food! a true pioneer and the reason for why made I friends with some of my favorite people, our love and appreciation for this insanely sweet talented human being.As a team: THEY HUG! they hold hands!! They compliment each other so well!! Dustin said “I love you” like 19 times throughout the duration of World Tag League. Honestly they make people smile, they make me smile. Not all wrestling has to have that serious, big match, hard hitting feel, sometimes it can be light hearted and just warm. The fact that they use the power of friendship to prove that they are better than other tag teams..because they aren’t just two guys paired up together for a one off tag team, is the best! They really care about each other...they’re real life best friends and that authenticity just oozes off of them when they are out there wrestling and smiling and having so much fun together. There’s a part in the China doc that dustin made where one of the guys looks at them, having a conversation about..nothing and just says “How’d you two become friends? they seem like soulmates” and I think about it every single day.

[umusicians]

UM Interview: Aaron Pollock

Calgary based songwriter and country artist Aaron Pollock is making a name for himself in the Canadian music industry. A sought-after songwriter, Pollock has over 500 songs in his catalogue, which includes co-writing for artists such as Mariya Stokes and Ben Chase. On July 10th, Aaron released his new single “I Don’t Drink Whiskey Anymore”.

Brittany Geertgens sat down with Aaron to talk about his new single “I Don’t Drink Whiskey Anymore”, songwriting and more!

Brittany Geertgens: Hi Aaron, can you introduce yourself to our viewers and tell us one interesting fact about yourself? Aaron Pollock: Hello everyone! My name is Aaron Pollock, I live in Calgary, and I was a member of the Bat Conservation Society of Canada from the ages of 7-9.

BG: Alright well let’s dive right into it! Your new single “I Don’t Drink Whiskey Anymore” was released on July 10th. Can you tell us about the track and what your inspiration was when writing it? AP: I wrote this song with four of my best friends, and one of them happened to go through a really rough divorce a few years back. A year after the divorce, his ex texted him out of the blue to recommend a new brand of whiskey. As he hadn’t heard from her in a year, my buddy was pretty rocked. He also realized that he hadn’t had a drop of whiskey since the separation (he’s a red wine man now). Frankly, he kind of felt like a new person, one that his ex didn’t know anymore. This got the four of us co-writers chatting about bad habits, and for some how they come in a bottle, and for some how they’re other people. Getting rid of a bad habit is one of the hardest things in the world to do, but without question one of the most rewarding. I decided to give up drinking almost three years ago, so needless to say this song idea really resonated with me. I’m so happy we wrote it, and so incredibly grateful that I get to write songs with Spencer, Annika, and Chris.

BG: Who are your top 3 musical influences that inspired you to make music? Would you say they still inspire you today? AP: This is a really hard one because my tastes have changed so much over the years. In terms of who’s had the biggest impact on me over my entire life, I’d have to say John Mayer, Ed Sheeran, and Eminem. It’s because of those three that I love songwriting so much. All three still inspire me to this day.

BG: What is your creative process like when writing? How has it changed over the years? AP: Before I got serious about songwriting, I would just wait until inspiration struck to write. Needless to say, this wasn’t very often back in the day. I eventually realized that my songs weren’t very good, and that I needed to work hard at changing that. Now, I write 6 days per week and am always trying new things. There are so many different ways to start a song, and none of them are wrong. Above all, I’m just trying to make whoever is listening feel something, if only for three minutes.

BG: What is one message you want give to your fans through your music? AP: I felt alone growing up. When times got really hard, music was there for me. I want to be there for my fans when times get hard. I want them to know that they’re not alone, and that however they’re feeling at the time, there’s beauty to be found there.

BG: What would you be doing right now, if it wasn’t for your music career? AP: That’s a really tough question. I love writing and would probably be doing that anyways (it’s my outlet). I don’t know what exactly I’d write, but I’d definitely be writing something.

BG: What is the best advice you’ve been given? And if you could give advice to a new artist what would it be? AP: I saw Shane McAnally (one of the best songwriters alive today) speak a few years ago in Nashville. In the early 2000’s, Shane was just another guy in Nashville that the big writers didn’t have time for. He lost his house, his car was repossessed, and he was rejected more times than he could count. However, he kept writing and kept showing up. Today, Shane has over 40 #1 songs to his name and is widely considered one of the most successful writers in the world. Shane’s secret in his own words is that he was willing to be the “last man standing.” When others quit, keep on going.

BG: If you could change anything about the industry, what would it be? If you could only keep one thing about the music industry what would it be? AP: I’d honestly love to see more females being played on country radio. There are so many insanely talented female writers and artists out there, and I think the world needs to hear more of them. If I could keep one thing, it would be how important kindness is. I’ve met so many successful people in the industry who are unbelievably kind people. It’s become clear to me that kindness and success are correlated, and I think that’s beautiful.

BG: What is your favorite part about this line of work? Your least favorite? Why? AP: I get to write songs that people listen to. The fact that people care about and connect to my deepest truths is humbling beyond words. My least favourite part is that there are a lot of people in this industry who prey on young artists and writers. I’ve run across these kinds of individuals many times and sadly expect to run into many more.

BG: You’re hosting a cookout for your friends & family to celebrate the release of “I Don’t Drink Whiskey Anymore.” What drink is being served? AP: That’s a fantastic idea, I should get on organizing that! You’re definitely invited. I don’t drink anymore, so I’d definitely have a few Village Local Non-Alcoholic Pale Ales handy. For my friends who like to drink, I’d probably grab some more beers from Village Brewery, a little red wine, and a bottle of Royal Reserve just for fun.

BG: What can fans expect from you next? AP: I’m in the process of finishing an EP. I started recording it in January, but had to take a multi-month break because of the pandemic. All of the songs are different from one another and different from anything I’ve released which is really cool. There’s one called “I Can’t Tell You That” that still hits me in the feels when I think about it. After “I Don’t Drink Whiskey Anymore,” you can expect another single by the end of the year!

Connect with Aaron on the following websites: http://www.aaronpollock.ca/ https://twitter.com/apollockmusic https://www.facebook.com/Aaronpollockmusic/ https://www.instagram.com/aaronpollockmusic/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClLtZO-KWvTgiIjMk6LnIdg

[swiftiequeenbae]

goodbye pll

as soon as i read the first sentence of the first pll book, i was hooked. i was 11 years old and attending a small montessori school in which ‘gay’ was probably the biggest insult, coming just ahead of ‘girly’. the word ‘gay’, to me, was synonymous with nerd and geek and uncool and wrong. the word ‘lesbian’ described a girl with short hair who i wouldn’t want to be alone with.

yet as i read that first pll book on my mother’s ipad on the couch while in paris, coincidentally, i read and re-read each one of emily and maya’s scenes together. for some reason that i couldn’t quite put my finger on, their friendship was fascinating to me. it made me feel something i had never felt before, even though i still thought of emily fields as the gay one, the weird one, the one that i didn’t want to be like. but deep down, part of me was intrigued.

i read almost the entire first pll book on a train ride from paris to berlin. i hid it from my mom as i read it on the large ipad from 2010, knowing that she wouldn’t let me read it because i was too young. and when i finished the book, i couldn’t read the next one because it cost money i knew she wouldn’t let me spend. so when we got to the hotel room in berlin, i started pretty little liars on netflix and became overwhelmingly hooked.

i became immediately infatuated with alison dilaurentis. she was everything i wanted to be. she was beautiful and popular and those were the only two things i wanted to be at age 11, and on some naive level, those are still the most important things to me now. but the difference is that now, i realize my fault in thinking that way. in a way, i heavily relate to alison’s journey from closeted bitch to accepting herself and becoming a much happier and more free person. even thought her transformation took almost a decade, mine took about two years. yet i have no doubt in my heart that if i hadn’t idolized alison so much, i wouldn’t have wanted to change with her. i wouldn’t have felt compelled to explore the side of me that i never thought about, the side that loved girls. alison dilaurentis is a character i will always keep close to my heart, and i can’t thank sasha pieterse enough for portraying her.

the other pll character who has influenced me greatly is emily fields. emily’s coming out storyline is still one that resonates with me deeply. when i came out as bisexual and my mother told me she didn’t believe me, i thought of emily as i cried later that night. and when i told her i was really a lesbian, and she again, didn’t believe me, i felt even more connected to emily. my mother wasn’t as bigoted as pam fields, she just didn’t expect her daughter to be gay; she didn’t think it would happen to her. now, two years after coming out as bi, over a year after coming out as a lesbian, my mom accepts that i am a lesbian, just as pam fields accepts emily.

emison drew me in from the first moment. they were my first otp, back when i was 11. i remember watching 5x05 and then rewatching 5x05, obsessing over their kiss. i wanted to be one of them, although i wasn’t sure which. maybe both. i fell in love with the loyal way emily loved alison and the silent way ali loved her back. i made my tumblr dedicated to emison at age 12, and now, 14 and three tumblr accounts and about 7 url’s later, my tumblr is still about emison. emison has opened me up to myself but if i talk any more about that i think i’ll just be repeating myself over and over again.

but maybe the most important thing pll has given me is emer. she has become one of my best friends. she is so funny and always there when i need to forget about bad things happening in my life. she’s beautiful and her accent is adorable. i’m so grateful that pretty little liars, and more specifically, emison, have given me the opportunity to meet someone as amazing as emer. i’m so happy the universe led me to meeting her.

the cast of pretty little liars is what i’ll miss the most. shay, sasha, lucy, troian, and ashley have been huge influences in my life. their friendship is perhaps even stronger than it is in their show. i’ve loved watching them grow as individuals and as a group. the fact that they & janel got matching tattoos is a perfect example of their love for one another.

although i dislike the characted hanna marin, ashley’s mix of humor and cockiness can always brighten my day. her love for every person in her life is obvious in everything that she does. i saw a completely different side of her on the day pll wrapped. watching her snapchats of her and the girls sobbing proved to me just how emotional and caring ashley is. i will miss hearing her laugh along with lucy about their myspace days and watching her go on amazing outings and even vacations with shay. i will miss her sarcastic banter with troian and her adorable mentorship of sasha. although i will still see her with other people, it won’t be the same.

aria montgomery has always been a boring character to me, but lucy is far from boring. she is sweet and so gorgeous, as if someone took a doll off of the pll set and brought it to life with pixie dust. her laugh is adorable and her smile always seems genuine. she is a very well rounded, loving, and grounded individual. she is independent but also draws strength from the people around her. i will miss her sweet bond and cute height difference with shay and her loving and cuddly attitude with troian. her bond with sasha is what i might miss most of all. i wish i could listen to her laugh for all of eternity.

i fell in love with alison dilaurentis and falling in love with sasha came close after. she is insanely talented and always has been, even at the age of 12. she is mature yet also fun and bubbly, allowing her to make strong friendships with people who are nearly a decade or more older than her. she has remained warm, kind and caring, even though she rose to fame during middle school. she has faced so much stupid hate from people who don’t even deserve the calories she burns typing out a response to their hate. she shouldn’t have to explain her weight, yet she does. i will miss her sister like bond with troian, which is amazing, considering their age difference. but what i will miss the most is sasha’s interactions with shay. their constant joking and closeness, as well as how comfortable they are with each other, makes my heart happy. sasha has a beautiful soul. and everyone who comes into contact with her can see it.

spencer hastings and troian are very similar, but i have to say i prefer troian. she is so smart and worldly, sharing her thoughts on politics and social justice not for attention, but because it’s what she believes is right. her passion for our earth makes me want to be more of an activist for our planet. i remember when she was heavily advocating to save honeybees. it deeply inspired me and resonated with me on a completely unexpected level. troian is passionate about her work and she is the best actress on pretty little liars. i can’t wait to see where she goes from here. she deserved a better show with better writing, but she did the best she ever possibly could with what she was given. she is only going to grow as an actor and a director. i will miss her protectiveness over all of the girls, as well as her light teasing of them. i will always love and support troian.

emily fields grew on me after i became infatuated with the goddess that is shay mitchell. she is charismatic and gorgeous, kind and loyal, and a natural born leader. she has come so far from where she began, and although pretty little liars is the reason for it, i know that she would have rose to fame even if she hadn’t been cast as emily fields. her support for the lgbt community and her passion for portraying emily fields is inspiring and admirable. not to mention that she is insanely, crazily, immensely beautiful and one of the sexiest women i’ve ever seen. she was one of the first girls i was ever comfortable with my attraction to, and that means something to me. she was my first girl crush that i fully accepted and came to terms with. she has helped me so much with accepting who i am, even without being a lesbian herself. i will miss watching her joke around with troian and the whole cast. she is one of my favorite parts of pretty little liars, and i will always be thankful for her.

pretty little liars WAS my entire middle school “career”. pretty little liars showed me who i am. pretty little liars introduced me to new people and new ideas. i can't thank the cast and crew of the show enough. also, sara shepard, i’m forever in debt to you for creating the universe of pretty little liars. emer, i hope you and i can scream about gay ships for years to come.

as i go into high school, it seems fitting that that pll is ending. that it has ended. my three years of middle school and my three years of pretty little liars are always going to be synonymous in my memory.

goodbye, pretty little liars. i will remember you as the best part of middle school. you were always there for me. hell, i even had a girl go down on me for the first time while an episode from season 3 was playing on the computer next to me.

goodbye, emison. thank you for allowing me to get close with emer. thank you for urging me to delve into the feelings in my head. thank you for making me feel like i belong, because i do. thank you. 

i feel like there is something else i should say, but i don’t know what it is. 

- sophie