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bulkyphrase · 3 years ago

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Everybody & the Avengers Team

I've got a new fic rec list for you!

The stories in the "X & the Avengers Team" tags focus on one person's relationship to the Avengers team as a whole. Courtesy of AO3's tag browse and Excel, here's a ranked list of the top 20 most popular pairings:

Tony Stark | 2470 total, 240 OTP

Peter Parker | 2255 total, 85 OTP

Steve Rogers | 602 total, 56 OTP

Loki | 387 total, 26 OTP

Natasha Romanov | 308 total, 35 OTP

Clint Barton | 268 total, 46 OTP

Bruce Banner | 244 total, 15 OTP

Thor | 209 total, 7 OTP

Avengers Team | 174 total, 24 OTP

James "Bucky" Barnes | 156 total, 7 OTP

Wanda Maximoff | 143 total, 4 OTP

Phil Coulson | 105 total, 9 OTP

Darcy Lewis | 91 total, 6 OTP

Matt Murdock | 60 total, 8 OTP

Sam Wilson | 53 total, 5 OTP

Nick Fury | 41 total, 5 OTP

Harry Potter | 40 total, 0 OTP

Pepper Potts | 31 total, 1 OTP

Vision | 29 total, 2 OTP

Stiles Stilinski | 25 total, 0 OTP

In chart form, if you like charts:

Notes:

The numbers after the names are the number of stories tagged with that ship. OTP means the number of stories where that is the only relationship tagged on the story. Numbers are accurate as of July 2021.

Story Recommendations

For your reading pleasure, included below is at least one fic rec for each pairing except the crossovers from non-Marvel fandoms (apologies to Mr. Potter & Mr. Stilinski). Most are gen fic, and even in the ones with a romantic pairing, romance is not the focus.

Tony Stark

As Subtle As Cognitive Recalibration by petroltogo (Teen, 8949) tumblr: @tonystarktogo

Standing inside his penthouse, listening to Rogers, Barton and Banner explain to Fury how they just happened to stumble over the Tesseract on a routine security check of Stark Tower’s roof and wouldn’t you know, they’ve managed to fight off the looming alien invasion before it could really start and secure the missing overpowered nightlight is one of the most surreal situations Tony has ever had the displeasure of experiencing.

Peter Parker

the worst field trip ever by shrill_fangirl_screaming (Teen, 3420) tumblr: @i-am-having-an-emotion

"We're on a field trip," Peter said. "To here. And Tony decided to be our tour guide and absolutely embarrass me, so can you please help get him under control?"

Which is how Peter Parker, architect of his own destruction, ended up with not one but two superhero pseudo-dads being annoying on his school field trip.

Steve Rogers

Do You Remember Being Happy? ('Cause I Sure Don't) by GalaxyThreads (Teen, 11022) tumblr: @galaxythreads

That seems about right. He doesn't know how he knows that, though. He does have vague memories of an annoyed fondness at finding peanut butter in some sort of jam. Thor's doing, because he doesn't see the point of using two knives when one works just as fine. He knows that. How does he know that? He knows all those little details, though, almost innately. How can he know these strangers so deeply?

Everyone else below the cut!

Loki

Proprietary by TheThirdMarauder (Teen, 7639)

No, Loki simply wants the Avengers conquered. The details of whom, how, and when matter not. Unless, of course, said details interfere with Loki's plans. Then, well, then none can fault him for protecting his own interests.

Loki has always been exceptionally good at lying to himself.

Natasha Romanov

What Girls Are Made Of by enigma731 (Teen, 4613) tumblr: @enigma731

She rolls her eyes but does as he’s indicated, using his shoulders to leverage herself up onto his back, her arms around his neck and her legs hugging his waist.

“You know,” he says blithely, “this isn’t really what I tend to picture when I think of a hot girl riding me.”

Natasha groans, deciding that if his sense of humor gets them arrested, she’ll kill him herself. “Just go.”

Clint Barton

Dear Clint Barton (circa age 7) by pollyrepeat (Teen, 4221)

With a normal person, this might count as blackmail material, but a) this is a case of mutually assured destruction if ever there was one, and b) Fury is immune to embarrassment. Not just in the regular, Tony Stark way, either, oh no. Things that could possibly end up being embarrassing to Fury get somehow warped and changed until they go from mortifying all the way over into useful and/or good for his image. It’s like a superpower.

Carrying Clint’s small child self around on his shoulders more than once has probably already hit the interagency rumour mill as an example of Fury’s innate awesomeness: good with rocket launchers and small children.

Also available as a podfic!

Bruce Banner

They're Not Wrong by Trumpeteer34 (Teen, 10163)

As Tony began to pace around the hole in the road to keep himself from shooting repulsors at the nearby buildings in a fit of rage, Thor began to study the nearby area. There was no sign of either the Hulk or Bruce Banner beyond the crater. The surrounding area, aside from the rubble of the fight, held no clue as to their friend’s location.

“Guys, he’s gone,” Tony growled into the communicator on their private line, drawing Thor out of his darkening thoughts. “Someone tranqed him and took him. He’s gone.”

Honorary mention goes to the Responsible Science series by @letteredlettered - the stories don’t have the "Avengers Team & Bruce Banner" tag, but they could, and they are amazing. The best Bruce Banner writing I've ever come across.

Thor

Fortunately, I Am Mighty by onward_came_the_meteors (General, 3062)

Steve was the first one to speak. “Are you okay?”

Thor nodded. Which was a bad idea, as it turned out, because now there were little gray lights flashing in front of his eyes. “I’m fine.” Absolutely everyone narrowed their eyes, and he added, “But, uh. Could we possibly not get back in the car just yet?”

Avengers Team

Civil Wasn't by onward_came_the_meteors (General, 7123)

"We're having an ideological conflict here," Tony stated with disbelief. "Are you telling me you still want to go out to dinner?"

"It's a standing engagement, Tony," Rhodey reminded him.

"Not you too—"

"We already had to reschedule from Friday when Natasha was..." Rhodey frowned. "What were you doing?"

The question was directed toward Natasha, who shrugged and said, "Spy stuff."

James "Bucky" Barnes

You Know How I Feel, aka, The Adventures of Bucky and Muffy the Dinosaur by ifeelbetter (Not Rated, 4511) tumblr: @ifeelbetterer

“As you may have heard, Bucky Barnes, a.k.a. The Winter Soldier, recently rescued a tiny part-robot dinosaur during the Avengers’ battle with Dr. Doom in Antarctica,” the other newscaster explained. “Pictures of Barnes and the dinosaur were posted on twitter by fellow Avenger, Clint Barton, a.k.a. Hawkeye, and immediately made Barnes’s new pet America’s sweetheart.”

“Her name’s Muffy,” said Steve."

Wanda Maximoff

and the woman was young again by Mira_Jade (General, 3669)

Tony Stark called them the Cap's Kooky Quintet, and sometimes the term amused her – causing her to lift a sardonic brow where someday a smile would truly smile. She enjoyed the presence of comrades – true comrades – and she enjoyed the way their minds wove and bound together about each other to fluctuate against her senses as one. There was something soothing about being in their midst, and even when their loud and brash ways – their painful Americaness - rubbed her raw and drained on her, it was ever the knitting of their minds that soothed those moments over, and made them inconsequential.

Phil Coulson

Coulson's First Day of School by storiesfortravellers (Teen, 3055)

Coulson looked up at him. “I like drawing pictures with Mr. Rogers. I like having tea parties with Ms. Potts. I like it when Dr. Banner reads me books, and I like it when Natasha teaches me things. And I like when you play with me. You do really good voices when we play action figures. And you’re the only one who lets me do stuff like jump off the high diving board at the pool or eat three cupcakes or play tackle with kids at the park.”

Clint didn’t realize that. He was pretty sure that meant that he was doing something wrong.

Darcy Lewis

Beginner Yoga for Dummies (Darcys) and Sad Hobos by chailover (Teen, 3434)

Darcy had a theory: crazy attracted crazy, working kind of like gravity. It was pretty much her explanation for her life after Thor. And if she had thought the type of crazy Thor attracted was bad, be it Loki or the Warrior Three and Sif, or the dark elves and the Convergence, it was still nothing against what the Avengers manage en masse.

Matt Murdock

Double Blind by smilebackwards (Teen, 2381) tumblr: @smilebackwards

Stark snaps his fingers. “You can’t see half of my inventions. This explains so much about you and why you’ve never been properly impressed by me.”

“Does it?” Matt says, ambiguously.

Sam Wilson

Bystander by scribblemetimbers (Teen, 52029)

“I just want you to know,” Sam says loudly, cautiously raising his hands, “That I’m very poor and very sleep-deprived and literally the only thing you can kill me for right now are my notes.” He pauses. Wait. On second thought: “Please don’t steal my notes.”

“I’m not—I’m not a mugger,” Not Mugger rasps out, and for all that he looks about to keel over and die, the man actually manages to sound offended.

Nick Fury

Bedtime Story by dixiehellcat (Teen, 2532) tumblr: @deehellcat

Fury snorted. “I have to check in with the duty officer. I’ll be back in, let’s say twenty minutes. I expect all of you to have whatever your pre-bedtime routines are completed, and be in here pajama’ed and ready to be read to.”

He tapped the book under his arm, then left with the usual dramatic swish of his long coat. Bruce scratched his head. “Did…he just say be ready to be read to?”

Pepper Potts

Pepper and the Avengers (Which She Knows Nothing About) by rebelmeg (General, 6696) tumblr: @rebelmeg

The Avengers, that mismatched group of hurt and heroism, was one of the most important things in Tony Stark’s life. So, naturally, Pepper had made them an important part of her life too.

Vision

039. Intoxicated by aimmyarrowshigh (Teen, 100) tumblr: @aimmyarrowshigh

It might be nice to fit in, just this once. To lose a bit of composure.

Vision floated over to the refrigerator and, with some timidity, pulled off a magnet. He stuck it to his forehead.

#marvel fic rec

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readingwithwrin · 5 years ago

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It's All Your Fault by Paul Rudnick : Book Review

It’s All Your Fault by Paul Rudnick : Book Review

Title: It’s All Your Fault Author: Paul Rudnick Publisher: Scholastic Press Published Date: January 26th 2016 Genre: YA, Contemporary, Humor Page Count:294 Format: Hardcover My Rating: ★ ★ ★ ★

Goodreads Summary: My name is Caitlin and up until forty-eight hours ago I had never:

Tasted alcohol, kissed a boy, sang in public at the top of my lungs, kidnapped anyone or—WHAT? STOLEN A CONVERTIBLE?

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#4 star #anxiety #contemporary #hardcover #humor #it&039;s all your fault #mental health #paul rudnick #Scholastic Press #YA

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jutebugle4-blog · 5 years ago

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LaVine's All-Star stats in a disappointing season

Zach LaVine is a star.

The numbers say so. The Bulls shooting guard will finish the season in the top 20 in the NBA in scoring, currently averaging 23.7 points per game. The 24-year-old established career highs in rebounds and assists and was one of 10 guards in the NBA to average at least 23 points, four assists and four rebounds. The others are James Harden, Stephen Curry, Devin Booker, Bradley Beal, Damian Lillard, Kemba Walker, Kyrie Irving, Donovan Mitchell and Russell Westbrook. LaVine scored at least 40 points three times, all in wins, accounting for 14 percent of the team's victories in just those games.

But it is difficult, at times, to see LaVine's brilliance.

Because it is obscured by the clouds of defeat hovering over this Bulls season that concludes this week Tuesday in the United Center against the Knicks and Wednesday in Philadelphia.

LaVine understands, which is also why next season is so crucial for the team and its young players who are hoping to shine for everyone.

"The main thing I learned (this season) is you'll have individual accolades. But a lot of everything comes from winning," LaVine said in a free wheeling session with reporters before Saturday's game with the 76ers. "I think I put together a really, really good year, especially for my position as a guard. But I didn't get the accolades I want as an All-Star or all-NBA. You're not on a winning basketball team. Those things come from that. You have to put winning first.

"We want to be in the position moving forward to where we want to be one of those competing teams," said LaVine. "Come this time next year to be in position to where we are not playing meaningless games. I think I haven't played in a meaningful game in five years of my career. So I think it's getting to the point where you really want to start looking past self things and moving toward (winning) basketball games. It's not fun to go home in April. I (do) think we're in the right direction moving forward, but we have to make some changes individually and as a team to get to that point."

I think I put together a really, really good year, especially for my position as a guard. But I didn't get the accolades I want as an All-Star or all-NBA. You're not on a winning basketball team. Those things come from that. You have to put winning first.

Zach LaVine

This has been a disappointing season for everyone associated with the franchise. The early season injuries to Lauri Markkanen, Kris Dunn, Bobby Portis and Denzel Valentine effectively crushed a season that was supposed to be competitive, if not ultimately fulfilling.

It appeared the Bulls had made an unusually fast turnaround for a rebuilding with the Jimmy Butler trade and then drafting Wendell Carter Jr., the latter who was hurt in January as most of the others returned. It seemed before that the Bulls could be in theoretical playoff contention perhaps into April, like Charlotte, Miami, Detroit and Orlando. Not all will make the playoffs, but they have been in playoff-like settings the last few weeks scrambling for that goal.

LaVine, Dunn and Markkanen would not commit to whether they would be playing if the Bulls were in such a position now. Though draft lottery positioning and player analysis seemed to become a factor once Otto Porter Jr. suffered some physical issues after the trade of Portis and Jabari Parker. Though LaVine's point is significant. Habits are developed. Losing can become one, also, if success is withheld too long.

That it's a concern of LaVine's as much as the organization is a positive.

It's what everyone will do about it.

LaVine dunks

Not much can be foreseen yet with the draft lottery May 14 with several exceptional talents in the draft, and free agency possibilities. The Bulls are expected to be a player for other than the few elite free agents. So the roster could undergo yet another makeover with coach Jim Boylen going into his first full season after replacing Fred Hoiberg.

But much of that success will be focused around the 6-5 LaVine, who has been the team's best player this season.

Though he only played 63 games in his first full season after ACL surgery in February 2017, LaVine was the team's most reliable scorer and a regular playmaking facilitator, second on the team in assists. It's an impressive redemption from a free agency when many local critics argued the Bulls should not match his $78 million/four-year offer from Sacramento.

"Now it's looking like I'm a pretty good deal, right," LaVine said with a laugh.

The Bulls have hoped Markkanen would break through, and he showed signs after missing the first two months with an elbow injury. But he faded in March and then experienced a potential heart issue, which seems under control. Porter added a nice bounce to the team after the trade, but he's had a series of minor injuries. Carter showed promise, but was hurt, and Dunn has been inconsistent. There are potential luminaries in the draft, but they are teenagers without pro experience.

Come this time next year to be in position to where we are not playing meaningless games.

Zach LaVine

The Bulls are fortunate to have a talent as outstanding as LaVine. But he also understands there is another level of excellence he has to reach before the Bulls can begin again to achieve those post season goals.

LaVine said in his interview session he believes the Bulls will be a playoff team next season. But what else would he say? Put it this way: If he said anything else, who would even want him on the team.

But because of his immense talent—and it is unique with his extraordinary athletic ability and incredible recovery from serious injury—LaVine is most likely in line to be the team's leader. Markkanen and Porter tend to be quiet and Carter is young. Plus, no one else makes (and takes) as many big shots at the end of games. That's mostly what NBA leadership is about.

Leadership is not about saying it; it's about doing it.

LaVine to his credit understands he's not quite there yet even though his statistics project excellence.

Greatness in sports is consistency, being able to produce exceptional numbers regularly and thus take the pressure off your teammates so they can perform. LaVine showed he could do that this season, averaging more than 20 points for the first time in his career. That's the first step on the superstar ladder. But if LaVine is to climb higher and take the Bulls with him, he understands 63 games is not nearly enough, and the 23.7 points per game probably is not quite enough. The 3.4 turnovers per game certainly is too much, though Michael Jordan averaged more than three turnovers per game his first six years in the NBA. If you have the ball, you are going to make mistakes. But having that ball also requires you to make the deciding and determining plays that separate winning and losing. That's now on LaVine.

"I just have to keep trying to improve my game," LaVine agreed. "You have to look at yourself in the mirror and try to improve the faults you had. I think I had a really good year this year, but there are a lot of things I think I could have done much better across the board, get to the line more, slow down the turnovers. I'm going to take this just as serious if not more serious than last year. I think if you can improve yourself first that will help the team.

"I want to continue to be consistent, somebody who (you) can pretty much stamp in and know what you're going to get from them on a daily basis," LaVine explained. "Obviously, I have to (also) look at my defense on both ends. I've always felt like I've been a really good individual defender, but off the ball I think I have to put a lot more effort. I expect to improve each coming year. I think that's what you have to do to take your game to the next level. I help the team offensively in a big way, so if I can do it on both ends of the floor that elevates my game and the team's chance to win."

LaVine drives

The individual progression LaVine made from a third option averaging 18.9 points per game in Minnesota before his injury to a first option averaging almost 27 per game after the All-Star break is exceptional in the NBA. Sure, the Bulls had injuries, forcing LaVine to average a career high 18 field goal attempts and 34.5 minutes per game. It's a breakthrough only the potential All-Stars can make.

But they don't get into the conversation without team success, which players understand better after being relieved of the pressure of their first major contract.

That's where LaVine has come, and he'll be under the microscope as much as the team next season. Their fates are intertwined.

"I think we're on the right path (toward the playoffs)," LaVine insisted. "I think we'll be there. Because stuff has to eventually turn. You can't as a player continue to be on the lower end of the totem poll. I think it has to switch the mindset for you personally and for the team. I think next year we have to start off really early and have that be our main goal. It doesn't matter about individual things. You have to put that first. I think we have enough talent. There's things we have to do better. But talent wise on paper, I don't see a lot of teams better than us in the East.

"I like how we always fought," LaVine said. "I think our record didn't show actually how good we were. We were in pretty much every game that we played. There were some games where the score was out of reach and we didn't play, but I feel like that's (common) for everyone. You're going to have games like that. But we were better than what our record proved. We just have to learn how to win. It's a tough thing. I don't think it just happens at this level. Sometimes you get lucky and you're blessed to go to a team that's championship level or a contender. But I think going through these tough times you're going to look back on them and be more humble and happy that you went through them.'

LaVine was in the top five in scoring the first month of the season with most of the regulars out. It was a test, an opportunity and a burden. LaVine passed and was also among the league leaders in free throw attempts early. But with the mounting losses, the coaching change, an ankle sprain he fought through missing only five games when it was feared he could miss a month—did anyone mention all the losses—the usually upbeat LaVine began to retreat. He was the most accessible team spokesman all season with his garrulous personality and leading attendance. He never evaded the media and proved a thoughtful subject. But he clearly began to wear out over the defeats until a reprieve for a month following the Porter trade. He says it further proved to him his hopes for the team are accurate and reasonable.

LaVine and Otto Porter Jr. high five

"We just couldn't find a way to win," LaVine said about those dark days in December and January. "It's tough when you get to those stretches because it just feels like the world is against you. But we're going to come out better on the other end of those. We'll remember those days and how it felt. You've got to go through those bumps and bruises. Sometimes you've got to get beat up by a bully before you beat him up.'

Zach and the Bulls say they're going to come out fighting next time with perhaps a little twinkle in their eyes and their souls. Wish he does, wish he might, have next season go right.

Source: https://www.nba.com/bulls/news/lavines-all-star-stats-disappointing-season

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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santandreas · 6 years ago

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I.do.Not.Know

Another day dawning!

Here we go again and all that.

I sometime wonder how far the human race can go up its own proverbial posterior before we, as a race, disappear for ever. Like the dinosaurs. Now only seen in birds and other hangers-on.

Out of my window … complete with double glazing and a ton of plastic framing, with a desk and home office from which I earn enough money to keep us in…

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#beyond the bible #Bible #Bible Reading is Broken and It&039;s NOT Your Fault!#Can I question stuff in the bible #Christianity #faith #God #I don&039;t know #Jesus #Love #Love is always the answer #Matthew 17:14-20 #Relationship #spirituality #sunrise #Uncategorized and tagged another sunrise #we are all connected by paulfg

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allaboutmusicpl · 7 years ago

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Bebe Rexha wydaje nowy singiel

Bebe Rexha właśnie przygotowuje się do premiery EP-ki All Your Fault: Pt. 2. 4 sierpnia do sieci trafi kolejny utwór z nadchodzącego wydawnictwa. Sprawdźcie szczegóły!

(more…)

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#2 Chainz #Bebe Rexha #Bebe Rexha - All Your Fault: Pt. 2 #Bebe Rexha - That&039;s It #Gucci Mane

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ogiuemaniax · 2 years ago

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Kio Shimoku Twitter Highlights April 2023

Kio Shimoku announces the release of his first original 18+ doujinshi in his tweets this month. 『Spotted Flower』⑥　紙・電��ともに発売となりました。ぜひともよろしくお願いします～。#spottedflower#木尾士目https://t.co/YL7w35QsaW pic.twitter.com/YDzFhd0Qf7— 木尾士目＠はしっこアンサンブル全8巻 (@kioshimoku1) March 31, 2023 げんしけんから離れて、最新の木尾士目を読みたいとお思いの時はこちら『はしっこアンサンブル』をおすすめいたします。全8巻でちょうどよく完結しておりますよ。#はしっこアンサンブル#木尾士目https://t.co/LOyBJVWNDx…

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#doujinshi #five star stories #gundam witch from mercury #it&039;s all your fault sensei #kio shimoku #Kujibiki Unbalance #model kits #spotted flower #twitter

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divinityblink-blog · 8 years ago

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｢Containment Breach｣

Word Count: 5126 A/N: This is my first drabble in a loooong time. So, I hope I do pretty okay for it. I just wanted to hammer in some of Aster’s backstory and motivations for this blog and him as a muse, this isn’t necessarily a required read! PLEASE, reference [here] for several of the characters’ essentials and information. But, if you do decide to read it, enjoy yourself!

“Aster--! You’re silly!”

The female’s voice rang out, a man’s laughing behind her. Three sat at the lunch table, garbed in white scrubs and sneakers. They nearly blended into the scenery around them, the facility a striking and strange white. The only color there were the armed guards, dawned in black combat gear for any occasion. However, based on the trio enjoying their lunch, one wouldn’t even pass the thought of an uprising.

A younger man was sat across from a woman and older man duo, both his seniors. His short sleeves allowed for the exposure of a bold ink, marked ‘S#032.’ His teal gaze was still blank, looking at the bland food before him. He couldn’t understand why the other two were laughing at him. The woman held her gloved hand out, being the only one with a full body uniform. She grabbed the plastic utensil and stabbed the prongs into the cooked green beans, holding them out before his mouth. His eyes looked up at the woman, her soft, beige complexion settling upon his blank stare. Teal hues refused to leave the woman’s face as she then mimicked a mother to a child, “Aster, say ‘ahh!’” His mouth opened but no sound came from his lips. The food was placed in and he began to chew, the man across from him giving a small chuckle, “Gosh, Jae. If he wasn’t so brain dead, it’d be like you were a cute couple sharing a meal-- Except it took all the mush!” “Dex, sometimes your mouth is just too big for that tiny head of yours!”

The two continued to bicker as Aster chewed, swallowing the mouthful of food once it was thoroughly ground up. He blinked his eyes, the two others turning their gaze back to him. The man lifted his head with a half cocked smile on his face, “Hey, Aster, what’s my name?” “D... Dexter,” The young man replied, his gaze slowly turning to the older, bulkier man. Dexter then pointed to the woman that had her hand pressed against his face, his own fist pressed down against the top of her head, “... And her?” “Jae-eun,” Aster replied, slow and zombie like. His gaze slowly shifted to meet her, and she simply smiled at him. The response ignited one within himself as well, the barely alive man’s lips curled at their corners to create an expression of delight. Jae-eun and Dexter smiled alike, dropping their hands from each other. Dexter then folded his arms, “Looks like our boy is becoming more and more human, huh?” “He’s always been human, Dex. Don’t tease him like that.” “Tease him? I’m just saying, wait until he can hold conversation! It’ll be nice to be able to talk to somebody besides you--!” “Hey, nobody’s asking you to talk to me!”

Their laughter echoed from the table, enriching their imprisoned lives. For what it was, it held peace. Years passed as they grew closer, the three experiments forming an unbreakable bond.

“Dex, from the right!” “Don’t leave our left flank open, Aster!” The two men were training together, running a lane for a combat simulation. A target popped up from the left, where Dexter had called it. Aster’s body encased itself in a blue glow as he thinned down to a blue beam of movement, only to reappear into the air as he had made destination. He extended his left arm, to reveal a black, metallic pistol. The trigger was pulled and the shot rang out, the lead round tearing through the air with the intention of pain and destruction. It tore through the target, the figure collapsing onto its back with a successful buzzer beep. His body encased itself once more, suddenly appearing next to Dex. The taller man was looking up at the large time posted from a neon clock, Aster’s eyes following him.

“17 seconds?! We were slower!?” “I told you, Aster! You’re slower than I am, you need to focus on what we know is there. I can handle the rest,” He constructed, turning his gaze to meet Aster. The man gazed up with a nod, the both of them then bumping their forearms together, “There’s always next time.” The two were then released from the lane, the door leading to a long hall that branched off in many directions. Jae-eun was waiting for them, a large smile on her face as they came walking together. Her hands clapped together, “About time they let you out! I was about to go eat without you!” “You probably would have eaten our meals, too,” Dex said, Aster following up with a laugh himself. “I’m feeding for two!” She retorted. “T-Two!?” The duo exclaim, looking at one another as if they had the suspicion that the other was at fault for this. “Myself and I!” She answered, with a look of accomplishment to wring out such a response from them. Aster’s cheeks flushed red and he turned his gaze away while Dex threw his head back with a groan, “Come on, then, Sea Sponge. Let’s go catch dinner.”

The three were walking together, making conversation about the day’s happenings. Aster’s gaze turned from Dexter and Jae-eun, meeting a woman’s figure at the end of the hall. She stood, arms tucked in and downwards, a bold ‘S#037′ placed on her left bicep. The teal hues raised from her arm to her lean face, examining her genetic perfections. His lips curled with a hint of a smile, giving a small wave, “Hey, Aella.” The woman was kind enough to return the smile and nod at him, “Enjoying yourself, Aster?” “Of course, Aella. Dex is always a blast to be around!” “Isn’t he?” She replied, her gaze shifting to the taller man. The two held a silence before he stepped out from in between Aster and Jae-eun, giving them a quick glance back, “I’ll catch up, you two. Don’t wait up-- Just keep the food hot.” He gave them a smile, ushering them along.

Aster paid no mind to it, turning to his companion to continue casual conversation-- Only to catch her glancing back at the two. He then turned back to see the two exchanging words, Dexter glancing up at them only to turn his figure away from them. As if he were blinding himself of their presence, to shun them away from this side of who Dexter was. Every time he spoke with Aella, he closed himself to the lot of them. To Jae-eun. To Aster.

His brows burrowed upwards with a line of concern, Jae-eun’s hand placing itself onto the younger man’s shoulder and turning his gaze away from that image of self torment and questioning. His breath was unsteady without even his own realization, the rolls of mucus being the only indicator to Aster. two.

The two had stepped out into the cafeteria, only to see a bulky and tall man, a gaze hard on the duo. The man’s number was bold across his larger bicep, a printed ‘S#039.’ Aster’s brows furrowed at just the sight of the other, “It’s Owain.” “I know,” Jae-eun replied in more of a whisper, to attempt to dissuade any sort of suspicion that Owain might have held. However, despite her attempt, the man’s figure moved towards them. His lips were in a natural frown, his brows generally pushed forward to that of annoyance or anger. He stepped in front of Aster, Jae-eun attempting to put herself in between the them. Owain didn’t push to her advances, his silver eyes glaring down the shorter Aster, “’32, don’t you listen to that boy’s lies now.” “Wh-What are you talking abo--!?” “They need you, ‘32. And, when the time comes, walk between their given paths.” “What’s your deal, Owain!?” Yet, before an answer could be given, a loud buzzer sounded across the facility. Everyone present knew the meaning, a long buzz to signify that it was time for them to sleep the night away. It drew Aster and Jae-eun’s attention away from the man, his movements shifting as he stepped passed and began his way to his own containment cell. Aster turned about, spotting the man’s back as the words seemed to rattle his brain.

“... Who are they?”

Aster had given his final bits of the night to Jae-eun before he made his way to his own cell. His shoes tapped against the tiles of the hall’s flooring as he walked alone. A hand raised to the back of his neck, brushing the loose locks and fuzz that it managed to capture upon its clasp. There were armed men by the door, ushering for his entry as he approached. Like clockwork, he went through a body search before entering the cell and making his way over to his bunk. He practically collapsed in the cushion of the bed, his eyes staring at the starch white wall, “... Why is everyone acting so weird?”

Teal hues shut from exhaustion.

His eyes suddenly opened, a heat of sleep deprivation stinging at the exposed bits of the organ. He turned in the darkness of his cell, hearing commotion from beyond the door.

Struggles.

Screams.

Then, silence.

There was more movement, and the thick steel suddenly shifted. Light peeked through, Aster’s grip on the blanket pulling towards himself. His brow arched forward, the image of the heretic blackened from the light that beamed passed. Aster’s arm raised above his brow, eyes squinting with the sudden visual intake. The figure stood before it turned itself away, stepping out from the doorway. Aster could hear the foot steps fade, until there was silence. It was like his stomach was anchored to the floor.

He tossed his blanket to the side, slipping from the edge of the mattress. He stumbled with his first few steps, knees weak. His stomach seemed to twist with each step closer to the door, his eyes focused with the light now. He could see the fresh crimson water splatter across the white tiles of the hall. His fingers latched onto the metallic frame as his head perched out. His gaze shifted up and down the hall before he took a step out, his chest shaky as he took a deep breath. His hands curled into tight fists, brows furrowed with a held determination.

He ran down the hall, teal hues spotting a group of rushing guards. He attempted to stop and duck for concealment, only to slide on his padded shoes. He quickly backtracked against the wall, his head gently tapping the clean tiles as he let their grouped sound fade somewhat. He rushed passed the branched off entry, rushing over to the cell labeled with a bold, black ink ‘S#033.’

Aster’s hands grabbed onto the steel door, not questioning the lack of guards around. He used his weight to pull the handle, then pushed inwards to allow light to break into the darkened room. A figure rummaged from under the covers, only to lift up in a daze of tired. She rubbed her right eye, grogginess in her voice, “... Aster? Why are you here? The morning alarm--” “We’re getting out of here, Jae!” “... What?” Aster stepped into the room to help her up, reaching forward only to stop and pull his arm back. The exposing light flashed across her body, showing her in a white tank top. His cheeks flushed red as he looked away, clearing his throat. He had never seen Jae-eun in this kind of light, and he hadn’t realized how attractive she really was. It hugged her body, giving her a much more shapely figure despite being rationally average with her measurements. He awkwardly cleared his throat, Jae-eun’s eyes drifting downward as she smiled a much more devious notion. She shook her head, kicking her legs to the side and using the motion of sliding off the mattress to gain footing. She took a deep breath, “Aster, let’s get you back before we both get in trouble--” “Jae-eun, someone killed the guards and opened my door! Jae, we can--!!” “What!? Aster, this isn’t good! They’re going to kill you for this!” “No, Jae! We’re going to get out of here! You, me, and Dex! C’mon!” Her tired eyes simply looked at the other, brows arched forward a bit. Her wake was slowly catching up with her, her mind grasping what Aster was planning. Her lip tucked itself between her teeth with a gentle bite before she nodded her head, “If we do this, we’ll never be able to come back, Aster. This life of peace... This is something we’ll never have again. Are you sure you want that?” “This is hardly a life of peace, Jae... But, as long as I’m with Dex and you, nothing will stop me from fighting until we get that peace.” Jae-eun replied with a simple smile, the both of them taking the ever dwindling time to race out of the room. Dexter’s cell was branched off another hallway, the two wasting no time to locate the painted letters of his serial, ‘S#038.’ However, as they arrived, the two quickly backed out of view of the hall. Guards in riot gear were posted all about the hallway, heavily guarding the designated door. Aster grit his teeth, “They’ve got guys all over his cell!” “Then we make do, Aster! I’ll distract them, you get Dex!”

The moment suddenly hit. Jae-eun had run into the open hall, calling for attention. She then ran back, rushing passed Aster. The man took a few steps back before ducking into a corner. The men rushed passed, chasing after the rather agile woman. Once the last set of boots turned away from his line of sight, Aster slowly stood to his feet. He rushed down the hallway, one of the two guards left behind turning his sights to the man, “Hey, you’re not supposed to--!?” Aster’s body suddenly engulfed in a blue aura, his body ripping across the space. When he reappeared, his fist was extended outwards and thrust into the man’s facial mask. He was thrown back into the other, both now spread across the white, glossy floor. Aster turned to the door, grabbing the steel hand and pulling it open. He then placed his shoulder against the door, pushing into it as he slowly opened. The light of the hall crept passed his figure, illuminating the dark room. Aster’s eyes scanned around as he took a step inside, “Dext-- Huh...?”

It remained empty.

The bed was made, and it seemed to have been untouched for sometime. He stood in the doorway, his bros pushed together, nearly touching from the intensity. He turned back without a second thought, following the path that Jae-eun had ran. He headed down the hallway, the white suddenly stained with a fresh, bright crimson. It ran along the wall, splotches remained on the floor. The smear of the blood gave the impression that whoever was bleeding was in a rush down the hallway. He paced himself, fear causing hesitation in the man.

He appeared in the entryway of the cafeteria. He froze up, the sight of the chaos having caught his gaze. The tables were flipped, several guards had their weapons drawn. Jae-eun was collapsed, the trail of crimson leading towards her. His eyes continued to gaze around, aware that the attention of the room was now suddenly shifting to him. Jae-eun’s gaze turned up, and she pushed herself forward, “No! Aster! Ru-- Agh!!” One of the men cut her off early, ramming the buttstock of his rifle into the side of her head. She collapsed again, obviously hitting her hard as she struggled for consciousness. Aster took a step forward, only for a man’s voice to shout at him to stop. He recognized the voice, and at its presence he had turned around.

Brows burrowed forward as the bulky, tall man walked into view. His hair was short, but long enough to be wiry and messy. Eyes were a deep blue, hard to look at if one couldn’t recognize him. His face was a permanent frown, almost etched into him so naturally. The man looked down, unfolding his arms to expose the bold ‘S#039′ print on his left arm, “Stand down, ‘32. You’re not part of this mission.” “Wh... What do you mean ‘mission’!?” Aster shouted back, his hands balling into fists, “You mean... You’re just going to attack Jae-eun!? She’s one of us! You’re going to just turn against her like this!?” “You need to understand!” His brows arched forward, glaring down at Aster, “We don’t have friends-- We don’t have family. We’re weapons and nothing more! We were stripped of our names, our lives! We are dead to the world, ‘32,” Owain’s deep voice rattled through Aster’s chest, widening the teal hues. The man then stepped passed him, his body slowly coating itself with a shiny, metallic cover, “My mission is to exterminate Subject Number zero-three-three. You’re being decommissioned, as for you--” He stopped walking, his feet stopping with the sound of scrapping metal. He looked over his shoulder again, “You are to be recaptured and detained. You are too valuable to the company, ‘32.” Jae-eun slowly pulled herself up, her eye now swollen over. Owain continued towards her, holding his hand out and pointing it downwards towards her. She looked up with her dark eyes, irises red from the held back tears of pain, “Please, Owain...” “You know what our purpose is. I only sympathize with you for being on the other end.” “Then... Let me say goodbye to Aster...” Owain turned his gaze over to the man, still paralyzed before the sights before him. His hands were tightened, knuckles white, teeth bared, and eyes lost in the white tiles of the floor. Jae-eun called his name, his teal hues drifting over to her defeated image, “Aster... Don’t be sad... I’ll be with you, alright?” Tears began to swell up in her eyes, a woeful smile on her face, “And together, we’ll walk through the Garden of Eden.”

Owain suddenly shifted. His brows arched forward, turning from her to Aster’s image now. His eyes hardened suddenly, his body straightening upwards. Owain threw his hand forward, “Fire! Fire now, you idiots!” Jae-eun took the moment to scurry to one of the corners.

The men raised their rifles, suddenly firing the automatic gunfire. Suddenly, his body disappeared with a blue aura coating his body. The blur ripped across the air. He’d appeared in one location, only for the coating to engulf his body and move him to another spot of the room, waiting for the men to pause their firing. Once the last round fired, a fraction of a second passed before he reappeared. The man held out a closed hand, turning it towards the floor and opening. From his hands, discharged rounds were dropped to the nearly flawless tiles. The men stood for a moment, Owain’s lip quivering, “... Shit.” One of the men shifted, only for Aster’s body to phase over. He suddenly thrust his left hand upwards, diverting the fire of the rifle. With his arm extended upwards, he used the down motion to hook the back of the guard’s head. He pulled it down to meet with an upwards knee, cracking the visor of the other’s face mask. He then turned on the heel of his still planted foot, turning and extending the bent leg outwards with some impromptu sideways kick. His foot hit the side of the man’s helmet, knocking him to the floor. He shifted again, his body forming in the air with his leg already upwards. He brought it down like a hammer, thrusting the other down towards the floor with a stumble. He then reappeared on the ground, quickly bending down to grab the ankle of his black boot. With a surprising amount of strength, he twisted himself about to toss the man across the room. The guard screamed before he hit the wall, cracking the tiles and falling limp to the ground. The next moment, he was on the third guard. Before he could fire, Aster threw a left hook into his side. The force caused him to drop the rifle from his arm. Aster’s free arm crossed across his body to snag it, only to push the barrel up on the other’s exposed neck from the handguard. Without any sort of negotiation, he brought his left hand to the trigger and pulled with ease. The man’s neck exploded into a bloody mess, the sound of sudden gurgles and chocking filling the air-- Muffled only by the ring from the muzzle blast. Aster turned to see Owain’s movement towards him. The metallic man swiped his arm horizontally, Aster ducking. The arm ripped through the rifle like butter, causing the upper half to spin about in the air from the force. He grabbed it, taking the barrel and pushing it between Owain’s lips. The man’s metallic coated eyes looked down, only for the assassin to swing the buttstock like a bat against the other half. There was the sound of grinding metal, shortly followed by the sound of Owain choking and gagging. The metallic man was leaned forward, coughing. He felt a hand place itself on his neck, lifting him up. He was met with the image of Aster’s gaze. The teal hues like a burning flame, his discolored brows arched forward with intense line. Aster cocked his head back, only to thrust it forward against his. Owain stumbled back, his hands held against his forehead now. His vision blurred in and out, looking down at the other.

Blood ran from Aster’s forehead, only for the open wound to seal itself shut in a matter of seconds. The larger man shook his head, raising his fists, “No more playing around, ‘32... I will cut you down if I have to!” Aster tilted his head to the side, giving a scowl.

The two met, Owain throwing the first punch. He threw a right hook, only for the other to lean back and have the initial attack miss. He threw a straight, Aster shifting his body so his fist ran alongside his head. He used the momentum, swiping his leg beneath Owain’s to throw him off balance-- Cutting up his own leg rather badly. Owain’s body fell with a slam, cracking the tiled floor beneath them. He grunted as he looked up towards Aster, the assassin staring down at the metallic man. His breathing was heavy huffing, “You can’t... Kill me, Aster... Not even ‘37 was able to best me in spars. What makes you think you’ll be able to--!?” Aster bent down and gripped Owain’s forehead. He pulled him up, only to use his full force and slam the back of his head back down into the tiles. Raising Owain’s head once again, he kept slamming him into the ground. Metallic clunks echoed through the round as he let out grunt after grunt, Owain’s hand pressed against Aster’s face-- Cutting him up like a thousand razors waltzing across the ivory skin. His blood began to run down the underside of Owain’s arm, only for the heated feeling in his face to meet another warmth. Owain had suffered from head trauma, the metallic coating on his body growing spotty and exposing some of his flesh. His fingers attempted to curl, “As-Aster, don’t...” Aster tilted his head away from Owain’s hand, pulling his hand back from the other’s face. He then stood, his body slowly beginning to heal itself as he approached one of the tossed aside rifles. He picked it up, grabbing the pistol grip and holding it by his side. By the time he had come back to Owain’s body, his wounds were healing scabs. Aster stood over the main, bringing the rifle upwards towards the exposed rift across Owain’s chest. The man looked up at him, his brows arched up. His exposed hand reached up towards him, “No please... I-I don’t want to die, Aster...!”

No remorse was held as he pulled the trigger, Owain’s crimson spilled across the imperfect tiles.

Teal hues suddenly widened as reality built itself around Aster now. His hand began to shake, dropping the rifle suddenly. It rattled and bounced as it hit the floor, Aster taking a few steps back from the scene. His gaze looked around, spotting Jae-eun in the corner. Her eyes were wide, tears streaming down her puffy cheeks with no facial reaction. Aster took several steps towards her before stumbling a bit and falling to one of his knees. She crawled towards him, the man struggling to get back up before he simply let himself fall to his knees. He wanted to hold her, he wanted to feel the comfort of her presence but he knew of the consequences. They both just knelt near one another, Aster’s cheeks dry despite the knot in his throat. He felt a piercing pain in his chest, a push of a blade that went deeper and deeper with each beat of his heart. It felt as though his neck was going to swell shut, a constant swallow as a reminder that he could still breath. He didn’t want to look-- He couldn’t look. He knew what he had done, he could feel Owain’s weight.

How could he ever be a good guy like this?

Jae-eun got to her feet at the sound of the clunking boots, “A-Aster, c’mon! We have to go!” He turned his gaze to Owain’s body, laying so freshly lifeless. He continued to nod his head as she gripped his shirt to help him get to his feet, holding her side as they made their way to a now unguarded exit. Jae-eun had known about this back exit for some time. When she was younger, Dexter and she used to sneak out into the garden. It wasn’t gated off, which always lead to them being lectured by Owain for reckless behavior. She pressed her weight against the door to reveal gray clouds and falling water, the colors of a darkened and gray nature but still all the while more vibrant. It was like opening a door to a dream that he hadn’t even known he had forgotten. He stared up at the sky, wincing a bit at the clouds as the rain drizzled down upon them. She guided him along a line of bushes in bloom, allowing now time to admire their color. All his life, Aster had seen only the colors of the facility and labs. He hadn’t known such color existed in the world-- Not in all sorts of coexistence. Their feet suddenly met with hard soil, dried from the usual heat. And yet, on such an unusual day rain had decided to grace the land with its rare presence. The facility grew smaller and smaller as they continued towards where Jae-eun could only hope the road was. She had her hand still gripped on the chest of Aster’s shirt, only for her to suddenly jerk back as he stumbled again. She turned around, seeing the man once again on his knees. The rain felt warm against his skin, humid and clammy. It felt discomforting, like he couldn’t be washed away. His teal hues looked up at her, several strands of water running down his soaking face. And yet, even through all that, she knew that he was no longer holding himself back. She bent down, placing her knees on the wet ground, her hands reaching out towards him. They placed themselves on his shoulders, “Aster... You were stronger than anyone I had ever seen before. That’s why I know you’ll survive, you’ll get through this.”

Jae-eun leaned forward, her lips pursed gently to meet his. The man’s eyes widened a bit before they softened, pushing back into the kiss. He knew of the consequences, before for the first time in his life he felt the comfort he had always wanted. The kiss was brief, but felt as though he was experiencing it for a lifetime. Their lips parted, and Jae-eun’s gaze met with Aster’s. He could feel his body begin to tense up, and he struggled to fight the poison. He looked up at her, watching her stand from his body, “I’m sorry, Aster... But, I know what I have to do. I’m not ready for you... Not yet. I hope you can forgive me.” She began to take a few steps back as pushed himself to attempt and follow, only to lean forward and meet his face with the dirt. However hard it was, he continued to struggle against the toxins. His face ground against the wet, hard earth just to get a glimpse of her back. He struggled to reach up, his arm tense as it extended in small movements. His jaw dropped, shifting up and down as he struggled to call her name.

Maybe if she heard him, she’d stay.

Maybe if she knew he loved her, she’d stay.

Yet, her image continued to shrink. Fading from his sight. Fading from him.

A bell rang, a diner’s usual customers having their morning chatter. A young girl had been running late to work, no doubt a waitress. Her hair was in a mess, clothes ruffled. The small business was too busy to afford a lecture right now, and she was pointed by one of the older women to help with a gentleman’s order. She gave a nod and a thousand apologies, heading over to the man’s booth. “My name’s Lindsey today, might I get you somethin’ to drink, hun?” “Just a coffee, thank you.” The man looked over at her, a smile on his face. An ivory fair skin, white locks that wilted to a black-- Probably the work of a very good hairdresser. He was well dressed, a blue blouse, tie, suspenders, all complimented with his black slacks. As she wrote down on her pad, the bell rang again. She looked up to see some thugs, roughed up with gaudy suits and egos to overcompensate. One had a cigarette hanging from his lips, despite the prohibiting sign in the door. They looked around the place, immediately silencing it, one of the men spoke up, “Hey! We’re looking for Lindsey! She ran out on our date last night and owes me some of that ass!” Naturally, the waitress stepped back. One of the men tapped the other, pointing her out. They smirked, walking over with swagger, “Lindsey, you thought you could--” The man suddenly stood from his both, the thug bumping into his shoulder. He wasn’t phased, instead he stared down the annoyances to the diner, “Hey, who the hell do you think you are!?” His teal hues were set on the obvious ringleader, “My name’s Aster Brooks.”

#Drabble!;;#tw: gore #tw: sexualization

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newssplashy · 6 years ago

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Girl Smarts: 'Zoodles are terrible. Stop telling me to love them'

Look. I know going low-carb is more popular right now than hating on Taylor Swift. And there's nothing wrong with eating more vegetables, or looking to find healthy swaps for traditionally less-than-healthy foods.

The biggest scam of the 21st century is not cauliflower crust. It's the idea that zoodles (zucchini noodles) are delicious.

But let's call a spade a spade. Zoodles are f*cking terrible.

The idea that you can take something that is literally 95 percent water, cut it into spirals that vaguely resemble spaghetti, cook it like pasta, toss it with tomato sauce, and have it magically taste just as good as Sunday dinner at Nonna's without being a soggy, watery mess...I'm not buying this conspiracy.

Every single time that I have eaten zoodles (and reader, I have tried them so many times, in so many different ways, for the sake of healthy food journalism), they are uniquely bland, soggy, and capital b Bad.

Why do you think there are so many blog posts and food mag articles dedicated to how to properly cook zoodles? (Hell, Women's Health has even done one.) It's because it CAN'T. BE. DONE.

Welcome to my TED talk.

Zucchini is a bad fake vegetable that ruins everything it touches.

The fault with zoodles lies not in the idea of vegetable noodles per se, but with the fact that they're made with zucchini, the worst summer produce item. Its entire identity is a lie-it's savory like a vegetable, but it's actually a fruit. First red flag right there.

I see you opening your mouth to argue with me. Just stop right there and try to think about the last time you ate a zucchini and thought, "Wow, that was mind-blowingly delicious! The best veggie/fruit I've ever eaten!"

Yeah. You can't. That's because it's full of water and has no taste (like a cucumber), but unlike a cucumber, zucchini has zero structural integrity and immediately turns into a tragic, mushy mess when you try to do anything with it. FFS, at least cucumbers crunch when you bite into them.

And those fundamental issues make turning zucchini into pasta a nightmare. Because zucchini is, like I mentioned, mostly water. Once those noodles are salted, or even start to heat up in a pan, it starts to release that water-flooding everything it touches with zucchini brine that ruins even the spiciest, most flavorful sauces.

Don't tell me I'm cooking zoodles wrong. I'm not.

In the name of humoring my low-carb-plan-following boyfriend, I have tried EVERY method. I've tried pressing the zoodles between paper towels to drain off the excess water before cooking. I've avoided salting them until the very end of the cooking process. I've given them only mere seconds in the frying pan to heat them up. I've tried the pre-spiralized zoodles you can get in the freezer section. I've hand-spiralized them myself at home.

I've done ALL of your zoodle cooking tips, Internet. They don't work. And they don't change the fact that:

Zoodles suck.

Eating them makes me just deeply miss real noodles.

People who try to convince me otherwise are untrustworthy liars.

The only time I ever vaguely enjoyed zoodles was when I DIDN'T cook them. I tossed the spiralized zucchini with homemade pesto, and served it as a cold side with chicken.

And honestly, it was...fine. Not cooking the zucchini helped it retain some sort of texture (i.e., it had some bite) and prevented the water from seeping out of the fruit.

It worked. But it just wasn't the same as eating actual pasta with homemade pesto, which is truly a divine experience. It was just...mediocre. Flavorless. A filler vehicle for the pesto. And that's ultimately the problem with zoodles.

Eat what you love. In my case, that's not zoodles.

For the record, I've eaten other veggie pastas and actually enjoyed them. Cooked spaghetti squash tossed with olive oil, feta, and roasted cherry tomatoes is divine. And butternut squash noodles in a peanut sauce stir fry are genuinely awesome. I'm not just a biased vegetable hater. And I do realize that for people with gluten intolerances, veggie noodles are the best alternative to traditional wheat pastas. I get it!

But zoodles...there's nothing to love there, in my book.

Food is my love language. I'd rather eat a little less white pasta and actually have a meal I'll enjoy rather than frown my way through a bowl of zucchini pasta just because it might be healthier for me.

So if you love zoodles, good on you. Eat your heart out. Just don't expect me to join you for dinner any time soon.

Jessie Van Amburg is the senior associate editor at Women's Health, where she shares strong opinions about Bad food trends, and the importance of wearing sunscreen every day.

source http://www.newssplashy.com/2018/08/girl-smarts-zoodles-are-terrible-stop_5.html

#News

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newsini · 7 years ago

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#NEWSiNi #news #latest news #news search

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cover32-yahoopartner-blog · 7 years ago

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How the Saints Can Win Superbowl LII (Part 2)

Read part 1 of “How the Saints can win Superbowl LII” here:

Welcome back to the second part of “How the Saints can win Superbowl LII”. Last time, we discovered our overarching goal for the regular season: get a first round bye. To do that, we found out the Saints really need to win 12 games this season. So in this article, we’ll take a look at what the Saints rushing offense must produce in order for the team to have a chance to receive a first round bye. To do this, I went back and took a look back at the last 32 teams to receive a first round bye (all the way back to the 2009 Saints), pulled the same numbers for the 2016 Saints, and compared them. We can then talk about trends and what needs to happen in 2017.

I looked at a few basic stats and a couple of advanced stats for this article. I started by looking at rushes per game, yards per game, yards per attempt, touchdowns, and fumbles. I then added a formula to look at fumbles per rush, and I used Football Outsiders’ stats for Adjusted Line Yards. These are pretty basic except for Adjusted Line Yards, so I’ll explain. Basically, adjusted line yards credits (or discredits) the offensive line with a % of each rush. The breakdown is as follows:

Rushes that result in a loss of yards: 120% given to offensive line

0-4 yards: 100%

5-10 yards: 50%

11+ yards: 0%

A key factor to consider in this is that consistency is more highly valued than variability. A 5 YPC average is great, but if a rush will gain 4-6 yards every single play, that’s much more valuable than a team that will rush for 12 yards one play then -2 yards the next. Rushes that result in few yards or losses are almost always the fault of the offensive line: it’s difficult for a running back to gain yards when he’s being hit 2 yards behind the line of scrimmage. Hence, we see the extra % being given to the offensive line for negative plays. Also, once a rush has reached 11+ yards, the running back is past all his blockers. At this point, the offensive line has done its jobs and the rest of the yards gained are really a product of the running back’s speed and effectiveness. So for example, let’s say the first play, the running back loses 1 yard. The adjusted line yards for the play is -1.2. The next play, the back gains 4 yards. The ADJ LY is 4. The next play, the running back gains 8 yards. The ADJ LY is 6 (4 for yards 1-4 and 2 for yards 5-8). The next play, the running back breaks off a 50 yard touchdown. The ADJ LY is 7 (4 for yards 1-4 and 3 for yards 5-10). This brings us to an average of 3.95 adjusted line yards. If you want a longer description, click here. Remember, the following chart consists only of teams that have received a first round bye since 2009.

Term Rushes RPG Yards YPG Y/A TDs FMBs FMBs/RSH ADJ LY Saints (2016) 404 25.25 1742 108.9 4.31 17 17 .042 4.59 Average 456 28.47 1907 119.2 4.17 16.28 18 .039 4.15 Median 460 28.75 1917 119.8 4.14 15.5 17 .040 4.11 High 526 32.88 2762 172.6 5.26 25 27 .059 4.82 Low 366 22.88 1294 80.88 3.33 10 9 .020 3.64

First let’s compare last year’s Saints and talk about what NEEDS to happen this year. First of all, look at what jumps out: the Saints had a ridiculously good adjusted line yards last season. Listen to any form of NFL media, and they’ll tell you how incredible the Cowboys’ offensive line was last season. However, the Saints led the league in adjusted line yards last season, and it wasn’t close. The gap from the Saints to the #2 team in the NFL in adjusted line yards was larger than the gap between #2 and #9. Take that along with the Saints’ yards per attempt compared to teams with a first round bye, and it’s really not close. The Saints are far more effective than even your typical top 4 team in the league at running the football (the Saints are more than a whole standard deviation above the average in adjusted line yards).

So if the Saints are such an effective rushing team, why does it feel like they haven’t been among those NFL elite rushing units? And we know how lethal the Saints’ passing attack is. If the rushing game is this elite as well, why has this team seen so little success. Well your answer lies in those first two numbers. The Saints simply haven’t run the ball enough. Now don’t immediately blame Sean Payton and the play calling. This isn’t a situation where if the Saints simply ran the ball 3-4 more times per game, they magically turn into a 12-4 team. A lot of this is anecdotal: the team is constantly in shootouts. If the offense comes out balanced but sputters on a couple of early drives, all of a sudden, they might be in a 10 point hole because of the defense. And although the team could’ve tried to commit to remaining balanced, that chews up more clock, and, as we all know, this passing offense is more than capable of putting up yards and points on its own. And the same goes for the other way around. One reason the number of rushes for a lot of these great teams is so high is that these teams are jumping out ahead in games, so they are running in the 4th quarter. And Sean Payton has proven in the past that he’s more than willing to run the ball if it’s effective and if the game is within reach. In 2009, the Saints ran the ball 468 times, almost a full rush per game above the average among teams with a first round bye.

There are ways around running the ball more. As you can see, some teams won 12-13 games despite having an inept running game. But these teams got by on other areas of the game: namely, they usually had an elite defense and quarterback to go along with a very good passing offense. One common trend occurs with these teams though that’s very crucial. Although their running games were very ineffective, each team with a dreadful running game had among the fewest fumbles and fumbles/attempt of the 32 teams analyzed. So the Saints can get away with a few games of being one-dimensional so long as when they are running the ball, they aren’t making critical mistakes and turning it over.

But somehow, someway, if the Saints are going to be a team that is hosting a Divisional Playoff game, they’re going to have to run the ball more within the regular flow of the game. That means 1) the defense needs to improve enough where the running game can get going, and the Saints can stay balanced throughout the game and 2) the running game needs to be as effective as we know it can be from the start. These two can also feed off each other as they really go hand-in-hand.

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An effective defense keeps the game in reach, allowing the offense to stay balanced and the running game to wear the defense down. An effective running game throughout the course of a game also helps the offense sustain drives, keeping the opposing offense off the field, and giving the Saints’ defense much-needed rest. These two work like clockwork together, and if they’re each operating effectively, we’ll see the Saints in more situations where they’re reaching 30 rushes simply because the game is out of reach so they’re running against an exhausted and defeated defense to run out the clock.

So now to the main question: can the Saints do this? Can they be a team that maintains its rushing effectiveness from last year? (Note: we’re going to assume passable defense because the rushing attempts can’t be 100% fixed by the running game. The defense needs to keep it close)

The answer is a clear and resounding “yes”.

Look at the incredible numbers from this past year. I have a very hard time seeing a scenario where the Saints don’t surpass each of those numbers. The defense should be more effective. The offensive line lost Terron Armstead for at least a significant part of the season, but he only played about 35% of snaps last season when the Saints had an elite rushing attack. The team added Larry Warford who was the 16th highest graded (for rushing) offensive guard in the NFL per Pro Football Focus. The Saints also drafted Ryan Ramczyk who led all FBS offensive tackle in run-blocking grade per Pro Football Focus this year. Even if Armstead is never fully healthy this year, the Saints should have a much better run-blocking offensive line this season. Oh, and did I mention the line was already very good last year?

Then look at the running backs. Mark Ingram has turned into one of the better running backs in the NFL. He cracked 1000 yards last season on a stellar 5.1 yards per carry, graded well per Pro Football Focus, and stayed healthy all season. He’s become a consistent 70 yard per game running back for the Saints who’s been improving the last few seasons. A little step up from Ingram could move him into a tier just below the elite running backs in the NFL. But Sean Payton has found that the most effective way to utilize Ingram is by limiting his carries. While Ingram’s very effective, it appears Payton has found that 12-14 carries per game maximizes Ingram’s production and keeps him on the field. So let’s say Ingram is running 14-15 times per game next year at his usual effective rate. That leaves another 13-15 carries per game which, judging from last year, 10-14 of those will go to the #2 back.

While Alvin Kamara will have a larger impact on the passing game, he still will likely receive a few carries per game, and I believe he’ll be effective because he’ll likely be running against nickel or dime sets. But Adrian Peterson will be receiving the bulk of the carries outside of Ingram. And it’s hard not to get excited about his prospects. He’ll be running behind one of the best offensive lines he’s ever been behind against 6 and 7 man fronts as opposed to the constant 8 man boxes he faced in Minnesota. And while Peterson likely won’t be as dominant as he was in his MVP season or even 2 seasons ago, running only 10-15 times per game in these opportune situations, it’s hard to imagine Peterson won’t be incredibly effective.

While Tim Hightower was a remarkable story and a great person to root for, the step up to Peterson cannot be overstated. We’ve all watched him play, and we’ve all seen the rave reports about him in minicamp. If Peterson can be as effective or almost as effective as Ingram with his carries, the Saints are looking at 27-30 carries a game at over 5 yards a carry. That wouldn’t be just a great rushing offense, that’d be a historically effective offense. And not only does that not seem out of the question, I think it’s likely.

This Saints rushing offense doesn’t have to be elite for the team to have a chance to win 12 games. But it very well may be anyway, and if this team can run the ball at the elite level it’s capable of, this offense could soar to 2009 or 2011 heights… or above.

And if that happens, there’s a chance.

#_author:Ben Nettleton #_uuid:52a77305-5a6a-3045-872e-3ff34a6d0263 #_lmsid:a0Vd000000DIJnLEAX #_revsp:cover32_362

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