#It was supposed to be longer but i didn’t have enough memory or time
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blueberrykefir · 21 days ago
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Save a Horse, Ride a...
Joel Miller x f!reader 18+
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Summary: You need to learn to ride a horse. Joel Miller is your grumpy instructor. Joel teaches you more than just the basics... One lesson you'll never forget.
Content Warning: Smut, MDI! Joel Miller basically talks you through it. No horses were harmed OR involved in the making of this. Vaginal Fingering. Teasing. Dirty talk. Praising, lots of it. Use of nickname, Cowgirl. Rough manhandling. Post outbreak.
Word Count: 5k
You were finally settling into Jackson. Earning your keep, proving yourself useful. Short patrols. Food runs. Assisting on the perimeter. It wasn’t glamorous, but it was something.
But lately it hadn’t felt like enough. You could do more. Longer patrols, further routes, the kind of assignments that actually made a difference.
There was just one problem. In order to do that, you had to learn to ride a horse.
Which brought you here, grumbling under your breath as you headed for the stables to meet some guy named Jonathan who was supposed to show you the ropes. 
What you weren’t expecting was him.
Joel Miller stood at the front end of the barn, leaning against the wooden fence with sleeves rolled, forearms dusted with dirt, and a glare like he’d rather be anywhere else. Your footsteps faltered.
At a community event, you tried to introduce yourself once. All polite smiles and an outstretched hand. He looked at you head to toe like you were nothing more than a bug under his boot, muttered something gruff and walked off.
The memory still made your jaw clench. 
You didn’t mean to gasp, but you did. Just a little. You hoped he didn’t hear.
He did.
He looked up. Slowly. Dark eyes sharp, like he was weighing how much patience he had to spare today—and the answer was definitely none. “Somethin’ wrong?”
You shook your head, too fast. “No, I just—thought I was meeting Jonathan.”
His stormy eyes flicked up, pinning you in place like you were an inconvenience. “Yeah, well. Johnny dislocated his shoulder.” He said with a tone dry as dust. “Guess that makes me your lucky replacement.”
Nerves prickled beneath your skin. You shoved your hands into your back pockets, feigning nonchalance. 
You swallowed hard, pulse doing way too much for this early in the morning. “Great,” you said, voice a little too chipper to be sincere. “Looking forward to it.”
He gave you a once-over, unimpressed. “Don’t get all excited at once.”
You could barely hold yourself back from rolling your eyes. So much for hoping he was just having a bad day when you met. Nope. This was just him. Rude, gruff, and annoyingly handsome. 
But you didn’t survive all this time, due to your lack of persistence. So you try to make conversation.
“So… I didn't know you taught lessons.” You rocked back n’ forth on your heels.
“I don’t.” He pushed off the fence, walking past you without a glance. “Let's go.” 
Well. That was short-lived.
You trailed behind him, glancing around at the empty stalls. Hooks lined the walls, holding faded ropes and well loved saddles. “Where are the horses?”
That's when he stopped and turned his head. Slowly. Like you’d just asked if horses came in blue.
“Horses?” His mouth twitched, just barely. “We’re not doing horses today.”
Your brows furrowed. “Then… What are we doing?”
He nodded towards the far end of the stables, where a beat-up wooden barrel sat with a brown leather saddle strapped to it. You blinked at it, then back at him.
“Really?” 
“You’re gonna learn how to stay on before I waste a real animal's time.” His answer was flat, final.
You glared at him, “I wouldn’t be a waste of time.”
He raised a brow, not even trying to hide the way his gaze dragged over you, cool and assessing. “Then go on, Cowgirl. Let’s see what we're workin’ with.”
You opened your mouth to argue, but he was already walking off towards the barrel, not bothering to check if you were following.
Clenching your fists, you rolled your eyes and muttered a curse. You trailed after him, boots crunching on the packed dirt and hay.
The air inside the barn was warm and smelled of leather and horses and something faintly masculine. Sun, sweat, and sawdust. 
Golden rays spilled through the slats of the barn walls, bathing everything in a warm light, dust in the air catching it like glitter. For a moment, it almost felt peaceful. 
Until Joel slapped the top of the saddle with a sharp thwack. “Alright. Hop on.”
You scoffed, then shot him an exaggerated smile, “Are you always this charming, or just with me?” 
"Only you." He leaned one arm on a post, that mouth twitching again, "Now stop stalling.”
“I'm not stalling,” You mumbled under your breath, clearly stalling. You eyed the saddle just now realizing how high the barrel sat. “You put this together?”
Joel crossed his arms, the material of his shirt pulling tight across his chest. “Been sittin’ like that for months.”
You squinted at it. “You realize horses are taller than this, right?” 
He shrugged, lazy. “Then consider this a warm up.”
You stepped closer to the barrel with more confidence than you actually felt. “I’ve climbed fences taller than this.” 
“Then this should be easy.” Joel tilted his head, just enough to unnerve you. His eyes taking you in from boots to brow, like he was waiting to see you fail.  
It should have been easy. But when you reached for the saddle horn and tried to hoist yourself up, your boot slipped against some loose hay, and you stumbled back with a muttered curse.
Behind you, Joel didn’t laugh. He didn’t need to. His silence said everything.
“Don’t” You warned, pointing a finger at him without looking back. 
“Didn’t say a word, Cowgirl.”
“You were thinking it.”
That damn nickname again. It made your cheeks burn hotter than the sun outside.
It was discouraging to say the least. There was not much you couldn't do. So having a wooden barrel be your demise was frustrating.
You squared your shoulders, let out a sharp breath and tried again, this time determined to prove him wrong. This time you braced your foot against the barrel’s edge, gripping the saddle horn with both hands.
With a grunt that was more pride than grace, you hauled yourself up, swinging a leg over with questionable coordination.
The barrel wobbled beneath you as you stuck your landing. Sort of.
You exhaled through your nose, victorious. “See? Told you I could do it.” You looked over your shoulder at Joel.
Stepping away from the post, he gave you a slow look, annoyingly unreadable, “Well, let's hope any horse you ride doesn't mind someone climbin’ all over ‘em like that.” 
Irritation flared up in your chest, “I'm up. That's all that matters.”
“Sure.” He stepped closer, boots crunching dirt and scattered hay. “Now let's see if you can stay up.”
And then, without warning, his hands were on you. One at the small of your back, the other nudging your shoulder blade with practiced pressure. You inhaled sharply, a gasp slipped out before you could stop it.
“Back straight.” His rough hands adjusted your posture, burning through your shirt like he’d branded you, “Good, just like that.”
His hands stayed exactly where they were, firm. Steady. Hot. You were too aware of every inch of contact, your heart thudding like it wanted to climb right into his palms. 
“Shoulders back. Don’t slouch.” 
You swallowed hard, feeling stubborn, “I wasn’t slouching.”
“You were.” He said simply, breath ghosting close to your ear. “But that's alright. We’ll break the habit.”
Your cheeks flushed, heat curling in your stomach. You tighten every muscle to keep your spine straight, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of correcting you again. But then he shoved, just enough to tilt your balance.
You gasped, grabbing the saddle horn to steady yourself.
Joel clicked his tongue. “Keep your balance, Cowgirl. If you fall, I ain’t catchin’ you.”
Then his hands moved to yours, guiding your grip on the reins. Rough hands against softer skin. Calloused, capable fingers curling around yours. 
You shouldn’t have wondered how those hands might feel somewhere else. But you did. 
“Now grab the pommel tighter–Jesus, not that tight.” He gritted out. “I feel bad for whatever poor fella your seein’.”
You loosened your grip, cheeks blushed from the insult. “No ones complained, yet.”
That made something flicker in his eyes. His gaze dropped to where your hands wrapped around the horn of the saddle. His next breath came slow. Measured. Like he was biting down on whatever response nearly escaped.
“Sit straighter.” He said at last, voice rougher now. “You’re leanin’ like you're about to fall asleep up there.”
You blinked, “Well maybe if–”
“Leg’s snug,” He cut in, voice rough, “Right now you’d bounce clean off the second that horse moved.”
Then you felt him behind you again. His breath tickled your neck just before his hands slid down, fingers settling at the tops of your thighs.“Keep ‘em like this–”  He pulled your knees inward, guiding them against the barrel. “Yeah, just like that. Feel the pressure of the saddle?”
You nodded, barely breathing, feeling more than just the saddle. You felt him. Felt the way his voice, gravel thick with heat, settled beneath your skin.
“I asked you a question.” His tone was dark and impatient.
“Yes.” You nodded, throat dry, “I feel it.”
He adjusted your legs a little further, pressing them in just enough, thumbs brushing the inside of your knees, “Good, right there.”
You turned to face him. The height of the barrel leveled your gaze with his. Up close you could see it all. The silver dusting his beard, the rough lines of his face, and the tightness in his jaw. Like he was holding back more than just words.
Joel stepped in front of you now, closer than necessary. You tensed when his hands settled on your hips. His fingers pressed into the curve of your body, firm and unbothered by boundaries.
“You’re leanin’ too far forward.” He said, like it was a fact. 
No warning. No gentleness. He pushed, not hard, but unyielding. His strong grip coaxed your torso into place. The rough handling, controlled and confident, sparked heat low in your belly. 
You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from making a sound.
“Atta girl,” he said, voice low and approving. “Right there. You feel that?” 
“Yes,” You whispered, barely trusting yourself to speak. With Joel this close, there was nowhere to look but at him. You noticed the small things, like the soft dip at the center of his lip. Or the way his lower lip is just a little fuller. 
“Good.” He murmured, eyes locked on yours. “Now stop starin’ at me like that.”
“I’m not.” You shot back, too quick, too breathy. 
“Yeah?” He stared at you like he could read every thought you didn’t want to have. A smirk tugged at his lips, “Could’ve fooled me.” 
Heat climbed up your neck like a guilty confession. “What’s next?” You asked, desperate for a subject that wasn’t him. 
Then he stepped back, arms crossed like nothing happened. Like you weren't threatening to melt, from a single touch. He sized you up like a piece of wood. His eyebrows furrowed as he analyzed your form. 
You stiffened under the scrutiny, spine already straight, legs tight around the barrel. His brow furrowed like something still wasn’t right. 
Noticing his scowl you said, “Alright, Cowboy.” You tacked on the nickname with just enough venom to cover the nerves. “What's wrong with my form now?”
“You’re tense." He said, flatly, "That’s not gonna work for ridin’... or much else.”
You scoffed, trying to ignore the way ‘much else’ stuck to your chest like a splinter. “Of course I am.” 
Slowly, Joel approached, like a predator closing in on its prey. His hands returned to your hips like they belonged there. There was nothing hesitant about the way he touched you. Those hands knew what they were doing. 
Rough and confident, his calloused fingers dug into the softness of your sides, molding your body the way he wanted. Every touch seemed to have a purpose, but it also felt like he was pushing you further, into something much more than a simple lesson.
“Right here.” He guided your hips into the saddle, fingers burning through your denim. “Gotta move with the horse, not against it.” 
Your body trembled slightly, as his palms pushed you into the seat, each press of his hands like a command, a reminder that he was in control.
“Kinda hard to move with the horse when this one doesn’t move at all.” Your breathless voice betrayed you.
“Wanna get thrown on your ass? ‘Cause if you can’t sit on a barrel, don't expect to survive a buckin’ saddle.”
The words come out, fast and sharp, before you can stop them. “Maybe I don’t mind getting thrown around a little.”
That made him stop. A flicker of something unreadable crossed his face.
“Yeah?” His voice dropped dangerously, “You say that like you know what it means.”
“You don’t know a damn thing about me,” You snapped.
He leaned in just enough, like he was whispering a secret. “I know you can’t stop starin’ at my mouth when I talk.”
A breath passed between you. 
His voice was deliberate, like he had you all figured out. “Know you get all flustered when I so much as touch your back. Or adjust your hips." 
“And I hear those sweet little sounds you make," he added, voice dipped in sin, "every time I get close.”
His eyes were dark… dangerous, like he was daring you to deny.
You returned his stare with defiance, even as heat stirred low in your belly, traitorous and slow. “Don’t flatter yourself, Joel.” 
“I don’t have to,” he said, the smirk returning. “You’re doin’ a real good job of that yourself.” 
“Maybe I am,” Your eyes flicked down to his hands still gripping your hips, a little too tightly for a man claiming innocence. His thumbs pressed in just enough to remind you they were still there. “But you’re the one still touching me.”
His thumbs dragged just a little higher, right at the curve where denim met skin. Instruction was long gone. This was something else.
Joel’s voice dropped to a murmur. “Do you want me to stop?”
You tilted your head, heard pounding against your ribcage, “I was just waiting to see what else you could teach me.”
With a low growl, he dragged you forward on the barrel just an inch, just enough to send heat straight to your core. Your breath hitched and you held back a whimper.
“You’re already breathin’ heavy–” His hands tightened on your hips, possessive. “–And I ain’t even touched you proper yet.” 
He stepped closer, the air between you taut like a pulled thread. “Think you’re ready for this lesson?” 
“I learn fast,” You breathed out, voice tight with anticipation.
His gaze dropped to your mouth. Then slow and wicked, a carnal smile curled into place, dangerous like a drawn weapon. He leaned in, close enough that his breath ghosted across your lips. If you moved even an inch, you’d taste him.
Without thinking, you tilted your chin to close the space, but he pulled back just enough, the barest retreat. 
“So impatient,” He tsked, “A good rider learns control.” 
“I'm not a good rider yet though, am I?”
“No, I guess you're not,” His voice was rough with unspent desire. “But we’ll fix that.” 
“How?” The words came out so soft, they were barely audible.
Your hands tighten on the pommel like a lifeline, trembling with the effort not to close the distance yourself.
Then finally, he gave in. 
With a growl, his lips came down on yours. Hot. Sharp. Like a punishment. 
He dominated the kiss, with the same rough authority he used adjusting your posture. It wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t polite. It was primal.
You whimpered, arching into him as he deepened it. You open your mouth for his tongue. He licks at your lips, before sliding it into his mouth to meet yours.
His hands gripped your hips again like they were his to guide. “There we go,” His voice growled low against your lips, wrecked and approving. “That’s it. Move with it.”
And you did. You couldn’t help it. You moved with him before you even realized, rolling your hips forward and backward with a slow grind. Your heart begins to beat between your thighs quickly becoming an incessant throbbing, that becomes more and more intense with every movement.
“Good girl.” He whispers against your lips.
The words, thick with praise, felt like heat, poured straight into your veins. 
You shuddered, body rolling under his guidance, shamefully eager to please. Not because you wanted to get the saddle right anymore. No, it was because he was the one telling you how.
“Just like that.” His thumbs dug in, guiding another rough grind against the saddle.  “Now we're gettin’ somewhere.” 
The friction of your denim against the old saddle, sent waves of pleasure low in your belly. Your fingers tighten on the saddle horn, clinging on to something solid as everything else threatened to unravel.
Then his calloused hands left your hips, sliding up your waist, his thumbs barely brushing the underside of your breasts. Your hips struggled to keep moving in their absence. You were too focused on the way he tasted, the sounds he made, the feel of him.
He pulled back, lips swollen, “Did I say stop?” He snapped, “You keep going, till I say so. You understand?”
You nodded your head, frantic. But he wasn’t having that.
“Use your words, Cowgirl,” He warned. “Say it.” 
“Yes,” You breathed out. “I understand.”
You don’t know what you craved more. The need for release or the praise you’d get for earning it. 
Either way, you obeyed, riding harder, hips snapping forward. You were chasing the rhythm he carved into you. You let out a soft moan as friction met the saddle just right. A slow burn sparked low and deep.
“Knew you’d be a fast learner.” He growled, satisfied. "Look at you, movin’ just like I want.”
One palm slid up your spine, igniting every nerve on its path up. His fingers threaded into the back of your hair. He tugged your head back, firm and commanding, exposing your throat. 
“You gonna take what I give you?” His grip tightened.
“Yes.” You cried out, the word somewhere between a plea and a promise.
Joel’s fingers pulled your hair. 
The sharp edge of pain only made the pleasure coil tighter and deeper.
His mouth was hot on your neck now, velvety tongue painting your skin. His teeth scraped just enough to make your hips stutter, movements slowing.
“Keep going,” he demanded against your throat, showing you no sympathy.
You headed his command and ground your hips down. His other hand came up rough and demanding, gripping your jaw forcing you to face him. It was clear who was in control.
Your lips crashed together again, unforgiving. It was all raw hunger and heat.
Desperation spilled into the kiss, mess and unrestrained, like you both had been starving for years and just now found something worth sinking your teeth into.
He pulled your lower lip between his and gave it a little tug. He released your jaw, sliding his hand down your throat, fingers dragging possessively along your skin, claiming every inch.
Joel’s touch didn’t stop.
It drifted lower, over your collarbones, across the line of your chest, fingers grazing over the softest parts of you with just enough pressure to make your breath hitch.
Your nipples ached, hard and sensitive, straining through the material of your shirt.
You arched your back. Chest brushing his, aching for more. The space between you felt unbearable, like your skin was screaming for contact. He could feel it. You knew he could feel it.
He chuckled low against your throat, the sound dark and indulgent. “That desperate, huh Cowgirl?”
There was no room left for shame.
Especially when his thumb grazed over your nipple and your whole body jolted like you’d been struck. He hadn’t even undressed you. Not a single piece of clothing had been removed… yet you were still unraveling for him. 
You became a panting mess, as he thumbed and pinched your nipple, like you were his to toy with. Your thighs tightened around the saddle with every spark of pleasure.
“You want more?” he asked.
You should've said no. Should've reminded him this was supposed to be a riding lesson. Or that you were outside and anyone could walk by. But his thumb was still teasing circles over your nipple, and you couldn't focus on anything other than his hands.
"Yes," You breathed out.
Joel's eyes darkened, pupils swallowing the brown. “Then use your words.”
For someone who barely uttered a word to you before, he sure has a lot to say now. 
“I want more,” It took great effort to speak. The throbbing between your legs was becoming painful. "I want you to touch me like you mean it."
A low sound left his throat, half-grow, half-moan. "You sure?" With tortuous speed, his palm slid down, hot and heavy, landing at the top of your jeans. His fingers slipped just barely under the denim. "'Cause once I start, I ain't gonna stop 'till your beggin'."
Your breath shuddered as your hips rocked slowly. "Then don't stop."
A sound of approval left his throat. Half-growl, half-moan. His mouth was on yours again. The kiss turned messy fast. Teeth clashed. Tongues tangled.
One of his hands slid down between your thighs, pressing against the seam of your jeans, right where the ache had started building. His palm ground slow and hard between your thighs.
You gasped into his mouth, grinding on his hand, hips moving like he showed you.
"That's it." He muttered. "All worked up and we barely started."
A needy whimper left your lips, from the friction. But it wasn’t enough to satisfy the ache he’d built inside of you. You needed more. You needed him.
But Joel… Joel was in no rush.
His hand dragged up and teased the edge of your underwear, warm fingers curling at the edge.
He didn’t move lower. Not yet. He just watched you from under dark lashes, expression wild. Hungry.
“Joel.” You said his name like it hurt. Like just needing him was its own kind of agony. 
“Shhh,” he hushed, almost tender. His fingers slipped past that threshold, dipping into your underwear, slow and steady like he had all the time in the goddamn world. “You’re okay. I got you.”
You were soaked, aching with want. Completely wrecked and he hadn’t even fucked you yet. The sound he made when he realized it was dark, filthy, and far too pleased. The rough noise of approval sent a wave of heat pulsing through your core.
“Christ. So fuckin’ wet.” 
The pads of his fingers circled your clit. Soft at first, coaxing. You shuddered, every nerve sparked under his touch, hips twitching without permission.
You let go of the pommel and tried to muffle your desperate cries, but the hand in your hair was quick to grab your wrist. 
“No.” He growled. “Let me hear how pretty you sound when you ride my fingers.” 
A needy whimper was all you could muster in response.
As if rewarding you, his fingers sank into your slick heat. One, then two. You clenched around him, hips bucking at the sudden stretch. Your whole body bowed forward, forehead dropping to the saddle as a ragged moan slipped from your lips.
“Ngh–” You cried out pathetically, as his fingers thrust deep inside of you. His thumb found your clit with cruel precision, brushing in slow, maddening circles. The only thing you could do was helplessly ride his fingers closer to euphoria. 
“Doin’ so good for me,” He grunted into your ear. His voice went straight to your core. The praise, the authority, the way he said it like it was a fact. "Such a good girl."
You tipped your head back, eyes fluttering shut, shamelessly rubbing against him.
“Let me hear you.” Joel’s teeth nipped at your earlobe.
“Joel.” You moaned, hips rolling with reckless need. “Feels so good–”
You were a sinful sight. Temptation itself, perched on that rusted saddle. Joel’s restraint was hanging by a thread, evident in the way his fingers bit into your waist, like he needed to anchor himself or lose it entirely.
Suddenly, you slumped forward with a gasp, hips stuttering to a halt. Overwhelmed by the way his fingers curled just right, nudging that spot deep inside of you it sent a shiver ripping through you, all the way down to your toes. The only thing keeping you upright was your white-knuckled grip on the horn.
“What, that's all you got, Cowgirl?” 
Your body wasn't listening to you anymore. It only listened to him. Your body rocked fast now, chasing that edge with wild bucking desperation.
But as you got close, too close, your form faltered. Your thighs trembled. Ankles slipped against the rusted stirrups. 
In response, he removed his fingers completely and he halted your movements. You cried as your body clenched on nothing, pleasure dwindling away. “Ah–uh uh.” His tone was firm, unrelenting, “Fix your form.” 
Of course he still wanted you to have proper form, even like this. The bastard was going to drag it out of you, keep you right at the edge, just to make you learn.
You do your best to obey, but oh god, it's so difficult.
You whined, hips twitching, “It's too-” Your head fell forward, “feels too–too good–” You tried to move against his restraint, but his hands were unyielding in letting you chase any friction he didn’t warrant. 
Not until you earned it. 
“What was that?” He chuckled darkly. "Thought you learned fast."
"I-I can't." An exasperated sound came low from your throat.
"You can." His voice was low and coaxing. “Back straight, legs tight.”
The words struck something deep… Need, pride, maybe both. You wanted to give him what he asked for. To hear the way his voice dropped when you got it right.
With frustrated tears hot in your eyes, you forced your trembling thighs to steady, dragging strength from somewhere deep in your core.
Slowly, you realigned your spine, shoulders pulling back hips grinding into position exactly like he taught you.
“There she is.” He murmured, approval slipping into his tone, rich and hot. “Knew you had it in you.”
As if rewarding you, he slipped his two fingers back inside, thrusting in and out, stretching you wide. Your body moved right this time. Controlled and powerful.
There's a hitch in your breath when you shift forwards, your clit hitting his calloused thumb with every thrust. You cried as his fingers hit just right, again and again.
“Look at you, so pretty riding my fingers.” He let the praise land heavy, voice warm like the Wyoming sun.
Your head was thrown back, mouth parted in a silent moan, shamelessly riding his fingers. He watched you, full of hunger you know he is fighting. 
“Oh god,” You whisper, lashes fluttering. His fingers are the finest torture you’ve ever experienced. Mercilessly working to get you higher and higher with every deliberate curl.
“You gonna come for me?” His fingers move furiously, forearm brushing against your breasts at this angle. It was all happening too fast. 
“Yes. Yes, Joel–” A string of broken, desperate sounds spilled from your lips. Words lost. You were teetering right on the edge, trembling with it.
“Go ahead,” His words went directly to your core and your body headed his command before your mind could catch up.
Joels name left your lips, over and over, like a chant as your orgasm slammed into you, stealing every bit of oxygen from your lungs. Every inch of you shook as you unraveled. There was no way your form was holding. Not anymore. 
“That’s it, squeezin’ my fingers so tight–” He cooed in your ear. “Fuck, look at you...”
Your body locked up for a beat and your vision blurred. You were helpless against the wave of pleasure he’d drawn from you with nothing but his touch.
But Joel doesn’t let up. He’s relentless. His fingers move faster, intensifying the feeling. 
It's too much. Too overwhelming.Your chest heaved up and down in a frantic rhythm, lungs barely keeping pace with the fire burning through your body. You buck in the seat, trying to ease off his fingers. 
“Just like that,” His lips brushed the shell of your ear, chest heaving as much as yours. “That's how you ride.” 
Your body shook with aftershocks, thighs quivering. You were stunned, reeling at just how hard you came for him.
"Did so good for me."
You didn’t even realize it was his arm keeping you from collapsing entirely. Strong and steady, wrapped around your waist. Your fingers clutched at his forearm, nails digging into the sun-kissed skin, marking the moment. 
Neither of you moved. The barn fell quiet, save for your uneven breaths mingling together. Birdsong drifted lazily through the dusty slats of the old barn. Nature's calm, a cruel contrast to the wildfire that just tore through you.
Every muscle in your body buzzed. Your legs were jelly, trembling and utterly useless.
The saddle suddenly felt miles too high. The thought of climbing down made your stomach dip. But you couldn’t sit atop the rusted saddle forever.
You released his arm to get off, and he went to help but you shook your head. Pride was a stubborn thing.
“I-I got it.” You muttered, trying to swing one leg over.
Joel didn't move, at first. Just watched with one eyebrow raised. Arms folded.
Balance wavered. Your legs felt like water, and your foot slipped.
And in the space between one breath and the next, his hands caught your waist.
“Easy now,” he murmured, “I got you.”
Before you could argue, he lifted you off the saddle, like you were nothing. Your boneless limbs curled instinctively towards him. 
Your boots met the hay covered ground and you were hauled fully into him, one arm bracing behind your back. You gasped and planted your hands against his chest, realizing this was the first time you intentionally put your hands on him, the whole lesson.
“I said I got it.”  You protested weakly. 
“Can’t have my best student fallin’ off the horse.” 
“I’m your only student.” You tried to scoff, but your voice was sleep-soft. “And it's a barrel.”
Meaning to push away, you shifted. But then you felt him. Hard and hot pressed up against your stomach through the rough denim of his jeans. Your breath hitched. He’d been holding himself back this whole time.
Instinct had your hand moving before you could stop it. But Joel caught your wrist in a tight burning grip. 
“We'll save that for that next lesson."
You pulled your lip between your teeth. "You think I'm ready for the horse now?"
Joel's eyes raked down your body and his lips curled slow and dangerous. "I think your ready for a hell of a lot more than that, Cowgirl."
God help you. You could not wait for the next lesson.
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cloudwisp · 3 months ago
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𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐛 · 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭
contents: smut (18+ minors dni). you accidentally walk in on him naked once and he’s all that occupies your mind. childhood friends to lovers. temporary housemates. brief voyeurism. masturbation. fingering. overstimulation. unprotected sex. implied multiple orgasms. he’s actually sweet just a little domineering. pipsqueak + princess pet names. 3.6k wc.
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You’re temporary roommates with Caleb while your housing situation gets sorted out. The Hunter’s Academy was experiencing an issue with its database and your move-in date had been postponed so your room could be properly arranged. In the meantime, Caleb was generous enough to lend a spare room in his apartment. Sharing the same space with him brought back nostalgic memories of your upbringing, and having his presence around gave you comfort that he’s still the same Caleb you know and love. Him preparing breakfast and dinner was always appreciated when you didn’t have to lift a finger, he’d even pack your lunch to keep you nourished and prevent you from skipping meals given your hectic schedule. Sometimes there’d be light roughhousing play between you and him, all in good nature like the fond memories of your shared childhood.
The more time you spend with Caleb, you slowly encounter situations with him that have never happened before in a domestic setting. You suppose that being adults now, with the distance and years apart pursuing different careers, there are bound to be changes and new habits. For instance, you notice how comfortable he is around you—or maybe you can even say careless. With the bathroom door cracked open, you think nothing of its vacancy and enter only to have steam obscure your vision and a very naked Caleb before your eyes. Normal people would have the door locked when entering the shower, and now you accidentally caught a glimpse of his flaccid dick moments before he wraps himself with a towel snug around his waist.
“Oh, Erm… Sorry, I didn’t realize you were here already.” You avert your gaze and your cheeks feel warm while Caleb remains nonchalant, staring at you before letting a boyish smirk spread on his face. You feel his hand on the crown of your head as he walks past you, sparing you from his usual teasing since it's the early morning even though he could imagine the adorable flustered mess you’d become.
“Heh, try to pay attention next time, pipsqueak. Shower’s all yours.” Caleb’s muscular back is the last thing you see with water droplets forming on the ends of his damp hair before you close the door shut. After moving the shower handle valve to your preferred temperature, your clothes cascade and bunch around your feet and you clear your mind of the embarrassing encounter as water rushes down your skin. Accidents like this happen at least once in a lifetime and there’s no need to get hung up on it. Or at least, that's what you tell yourself.
There’s a sense of normalcy when you wander into the kitchen once you’re dressed for the day. Caleb had already prepared a simple breakfast, and he gestured that your plate was on the dining table while he sat on the couch overlooking some course material. He’s a dangerous distraction when you situate yourself and take a small bite of a rabbit-sliced apple, glancing at his manspread in those gray sweatpants and you could almost perfectly make out the outline of his natural bulge the longer you stared.
You swallow hard and lewd thoughts infiltrate your mind when he shifts his thigh slightly outwards, almost beckoning you to have a seat in his lap. The snap of his laptop draws you out of your reverie and you flinch at the sound before you can properly react and there’s a delayed smile gracing his lips as he studies your face. You’ve been made and you curse yourself for being so easily swayed over a carnal craving and toward your childhood friend no less.
You pretend to busy yourself and focus on your plate at hand. “Haven’t you learned that it’s rude to stare? You’re just the same as always, pipsqueak.” Caleb chuckles softly, taking his seat across from you and starts to enjoy his breakfast. As though you weren’t feeling bad enough, he fuels your embarrassment. “By the way, your… uh, lace panties got mixed up with my laundry. The color’s light blue, was it? Guess there’s always something new to learn about you.”
You almost choke on your saliva when he’s brazen about your intimate undergarments, and you feel like he’s being insufferable on purpose when he could’ve silently returned your item and avoided this awkward conversation. “Oh? Well, that’s my mistake. I’ll be more careful next time so it doesn’t happen again.” You suppose that he always enjoyed poking fun even at your expense, but the sly innuendos were definitely new. And you hope the pending email about your dorm situation arrives sooner so you can forget about this particular morning altogether.
After finishing up breakfast and collecting your belongings for the academy, you and Caleb respectively go about your day attending lectures and training courses. However, your focus lies somewhere else as a certain aerospace engineering student crosses your mind countless times for it to be considered normal. You never thought about him that way before, and you’re certain it’s because of the dry spell you're experiencing. But when your mind drifts back to him, your thighs clench together at any suggestive scenarios before burying the very idea into a grave with the same swiftness.
Even with the constant internal battle with yourself, walking through Caleb’s apartment door once the skyward hearth welcomes the night made you feel somewhat apprehensive. However, your concern quickly dissipated when he acted as though everything before this morning was an ephemeral dream long forgotten. Dinner was surprisingly pleasant as you both conversed about the events of the day outside of your shared home. Of course, there was a moment of weakness where you’d catch yourself staring at his lips a heartbeat too long, and something akin to yearning springs within your chest.
Whether you realize it or not, Caleb has always been a chronic observer whenever it comes to you. Even your subtle hints weren’t as discreet as you believed them to be, and it only contributes to the pent-up frustration when you both retire back to your bedrooms. Not being able to have you and explore these anchored feelings makes him feel hopeless in his deep sense of longing. Maybe you still perceive him as the same kindhearted boy from your childhood and not the capable man he’s become today. The kind of man that can be everything that you need him to be.
As the night deepens, restless sleep prevents Caleb from catching some shut-eye and he’s quiet in his footsteps down the corridor for a glass of water in the kitchen. When he moves past your enclosure, something causes his ears to perk as though a siren’s calling unto him. His eyes widen a fraction and he feels blood rushing with a twitch of his cock. The pretty noises coming from your mouth as he leans closer against the wall make him question his senses. Were you touching yourself at this late hour? Naughty girl. And yet his pants grow increasingly tighter by the second, his mind racing to connect your moans with your movements.
“Mmh—hah. C-caleb…!” You gasp softly as your fingers continue their motions on your sensitive bud, a low groan escapes his throat from how perfect you sound with his name on your tongue. His jaw tightens as he holds himself back, but his self-restraint wanes when he’s the reason for your breathless sighs and cute whimpers. Without warning, your building orgasm gets rudely interrupted and fades when he peers into your room after twisting the doorknob. Perhaps you should’ve taken your advice from earlier this morning and made sure to lock it before commencing such activities.
“Caleb—!” You shriek out and half-heartedly cover yourself with the comforter pulling yourself into an upright position, and the nickname he has reserved for you is quite befitting even for a moment like this. He can discern your flushed cheeks and hazy eyes from the gentle gleam filtering in through the window, and he stares at you for a few more seconds before fully treading inside and closing the door behind him.
“Don’t stop on my account, princess.” You can feel the heat of his gaze trailing down your disheveled yet maddeningly beautiful form. The pearl opalescence streams kiss your vulnerable parts, making you appear even more heavenly. Caleb moves and dips his weight on the edge of the bed, sharing some of his warmth as his knuckles trace your bare leg before locking eyes with you. “What were you thinking about that got you so worked up?”
You’re rendered speechless as you shy away from his touch. He withdraws his hand planting it beside him on the soft cushion. “Shouldn’t you knock first before entering?” Your voice sounds small but it’s everything you can muster given the situation and you avoid his gaze as you pose your next concern. “…Did you hear something just now?”
“You were making so much noise that I wanted to check in on you.” He chuckles softly, “Couldn’t get me out of your head, huh?” You feel your stomach drop after hearing his words and shame prickles at your skin. Of course, nothing gets past Caleb even when you both were young children and you pull your knees to your chest hiding your mortification and face along with it. “All it took was just that little moment to get you thinking about me so much.”
He wasn’t wrong in his statement, and you hate that you’re not alone in your thoughts when he recalls the encounter of him wrapped in a towel this morning. It had completely seared into your memory, leading you to act on your impulses to solve your sexual frustrations. You’d envision the feel and appearance of his cock hardening as you handle him, how he would tease you gliding his tip along your clit and entrance, the hot and heavy breathing when his mouth’s beside your ear. “Ugh, just please stop talking. Can’t you see I’m already embarrassed enough as it is?”
“Not a chance.” The gentle pats on your head encourage you to come out of hiding, which happens to lessen your discomfort. He always had a way of soothing you, and you allow him to caress your cheek before he continues to speak. “I’ve been holding myself back for a while now since I was never sure if you felt the same way. But now that I know you do… let me take care of you. Will you let me do that?“
Through your parted lips, words get stuck in your throat at his long-awaited confession. All you could think about was how the nature of your relationship would completely shift. But you suppose there had always been telltale signs with Caleb yet you glossed over every indication because he’s your childhood friend and you convinced yourself otherwise. “I didn’t know you’ve been holding onto these feelings.”
“Don’t look so surprised, it’s been years in the making.” He offers you a sincere smile, leaning down and pressing his forehead against yours. Your eyes close at the comforting gesture, Caleb loving you a little more than you realized starts to resonate in your mind and that opens your heart to him. You feel a slight coolness and a realm of muted purple radiance and cerise hue fills your vision. “Can I…?” He whispers quietly and the notion elicits a small nod from you.
Caleb’s gentle and deliberate in his actions as he moves to alight your lips for a soft embrace. He places his hand around the side of your neck, thumb tracing along your face's sharp contour and guiding you to lay on your back. Sweet and tender in the way his tongue teases your bottom lip for more, deepening the kiss that breaks emotional barriers and makes him feel closer to you. Your sighs turn into muffled surprise when he clasps your hand and together he makes a slow descent to where your cunt weeps for him.
A glistening string of saliva connects you and him when he separates for you both to breathe. “Show me how you like it, princess.” It’s a silent command for you to touch yourself, and he loves the cute expression you’re making at his words. You gnaw on the inside of your cheek and sheepishly turn your head away from him, though it’s futile when he returns your focus back on him. “Don’t get all shy on me now. I want to know what makes you feel good, please?” The last syllable comes off as a sweet murmur.
“Don’t look too closely… okay?” He can detect the reserved tone in your voice and kisses your nose before straightening himself and pushing the blanket aside until you’re completely laid bare to him. He appreciates your soft curves and smooth skin, a low hum reverberates from his chest when you spread your legs wider and a primal desire for you rises between his groin. He observes your nimble fingers pleasure your clit in small circles to get yourself off, though your arm covers your face from the vulnerable intimacy in your wave of bashfulness.
“You don’t have to hide yourself around me. You look beautiful.” He captures your hand and brings it to his mouth, brushing his lips against your knuckles and your breath quickens when that same hand lowers to still your movements. His fingers press against yours to rub the sweet spot before you retract yours and he fully assumes control. The pressure makes your hips squirm from the delicious friction and a wanton moan slips when he delves his tongue to explore your mouth again.
Caleb marvels at the feeling of your wetness when two fingers stroke your entrance, he collects some of your slick and continues to rub your bundle of nerves in languid motions. Your arms coil around his neck, tugging him closer and tilting your heads as you lose yourself from tasting him until the burning embers dim and you’re both rendered breathless. He uses this chance to litter kisses along your jawline and warmth spreads down to your neck, a gentle nip at your pulse point before moving further below to your chest and he welcomes your hardened bud into his mouth after a salacious swirl of his tongue.
“Mmh, need to feel your fingers inside me… need more. Please, Caleb?” When you beg so sweetly like that he wouldn’t dream of denying your request, even when his mind spirals with thoughts about your cute mewls and whines in his pursuit to test your limits. Maybe he’s getting ahead of himself because he wants tonight to be nothing short of special for the both of you. He’s waited too long and he’s earnest in his intentions for this moment to be perfect in every sense of the word.
“Of course, princess. Your wish is my command.” You can hear the smirk bleed into his voice when he answers you even in your state, and your breath hitches drastically when he stretches you with two fingers. He considers your bodily reactions while he searches for a rhythm that elicits the pretties sounds from you. “So perfectly tight… You need this, don’t you? Need me. Just like I need you.” He keeps two knuckles deep, massaging something soft and almost spongy that causes your back to arch beautifully.
“Mm, yeah right there—so good.” He feels you tense and convulse underneath him when he palms your clit in tandem with his fingers still driving inside you. With your climax fast approaching, you gasp suddenly and attempt to push his hand away when the sensation starts to overwhelm you. “Caleb, I’m gonna—it’s too much!” He doesn’t relent even when your grip around his wrist tightens and you cry for him to ease down from his movements. Your thighs squirm and squeeze his forearm as your walls clench around his fingers and only then does he subside after he’s satisfied with the mess you’ve made between your trembling legs.
“That’s my good girl.” You’re turned on your side as you regain some semblance of composure while the euphoric high ebbs and you feel him lay the softest kiss on your forehead. Your gaze never leaves him when he undresses himself, pulling his shirt over his head to reveal his gorgeous physique and his muscles flex under the moonlight as his thumb curls beneath the waistband of his sweats and he discards it. Your mouth salivates when his aroused cock commands your attention, and it’s almost as you imagined except you underestimated its sheer length and girth. But it makes sense when he’s standing before your eyes with the rest of him.
“Think you’re ready for me?” He smears the pre-cum over his tip and gives himself a few pumps before he moves above you after readjusting your position. He sweetly pecks your lips and you feel him caress your waist then hoist your thigh and push the underside toward your chest to spread you apart. Your other leg follows suit to make room for him and he aligns himself along your heat after moving back, the length of his member runs through your folds drawing a pleased hum from you.
“Now that I have a closer look, it’s actually kind of cute. Just like you.” Your fingers bump with his, reaching to feel his pulsing shaft and you stroke him delicately while propped on your elbow. The scent of lust shrouds him when he watches you for a moment, the way your fist applies just the right amount of pressure makes him groan from how much smaller your hand is in comparison.
“Heh, cute? That’s an interesting way to put it.” You feel his balls swell against you when he measures how deep he would sink into your pretty cunt by unabashedly resting his heavy cock on your navel. Your clit throbs when he extends just under your belly button and you anticipate the feeling of him fucking you and rearranging your guts. “I wonder if you’ll say the same afterward.”
You tuck your lower lip between your teeth and glance up at him, subconsciously gripping the sheets from the thought of taking him and how tight a fit it will feel in your mental preparation. “Promise me that you’ll go easy?”
He presses forward and seals the promise with a kiss. “Gentle, I can do that. But what do I get in return?” An elongated moan escapes you when he breaches your entrance, the burning sensation causing you to burrow your head into the pillow with furrowed brows and a slacked jaw. His hand intertwines with yours for a small squeeze to help ground you as the head of his cock teases you with shallow thrusts. “You’ll let me make it worth your while? Let me do what I want with you.”
Your adorable whines receive a chuckle from him and he slides deeper. “That’s not really an answer, princess. Use your words for me.” He loves how honest and expressive your writhing body is when swept up from the pleasure and he’s barely getting started with you. You feel him pinning your hips to the bed to keep you still as he pushes further into you with a guttural moan. It’s taking every ounce of his willpower to not lose himself in fucking you senseless with how soft and pliant you are underneath him.
“Yes—! Need more… Want to feel you deep inside me. Please fuck me, Caleb!” You feel so perfect when he buries his face into your neck with a strained groan in the last stretch and meets your cervix for a desperate kiss. The fullness makes your head spin uncontrollably and you tug his hair when you feel him dragging every subtle raised vein and thick head against your walls. His pace is sensual and unhurried until he feels the tension leave your body to ensure you’re enjoying this with him. Heat coils inside your stomach and you inhale sharply when his fingers coax your clit for you to cream around him. “W-wait, when you touch me like that…”
“Didn’t you say I’m in charge now?” A devious smirk rests on his lips when your canines sink into his shoulder, leaving an imprint of your mark that will serve as evidence tomorrow as he continues to pummel into you. You think it’s unfair that he has something on you that you don't and for him to use this harmonizing leverage against you so soon, even though it feels incredibly blissful and pushes you over the edge on a note higher. Your sweet moans of his name coming out in small chants only encourage him to bring you closer to another beautiful release. Your legs wrap tightly around him to subdue your quivering form as your velvet tissues spasm and contract around him and he purposely draws out your second orgasm of the night. “Just let go for me, princess. And don't hold yourself back.”
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zepskies · 11 months ago
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Wanderlust
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Pairing: Soldier Boy (Ben) x F. Reader
Summary: Your wandering hands are keeping Ben up at night.
AN: My nightly daydreams led me to Soldier Boy this time. 😂
I was imagining the Break Me Down-verse for this one (shortly after Checkerboard), but it can also be general Soldier Boy x Reader.
Word Count: 650
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only to be safe. Fluff, innuendo, Sleepy Ben, implied smut.
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You traced down his back with light, trailing fingers.
Lying next to him in bed, with scraps of moonlight filtering through the closed blinds in the window as your only guide, your mind was still drifting even though you should’ve been sleeping.
You couldn’t help yourself.  
You drew invisible patterns across his bare skin. Ben was warm, always warm, even though the AC was making the room almost frigid. You knew it was the ever-present radiator in his chest that made him your own personal heater.
You propped your head up better with an elbow on your pillow as you laid on your side. You then let your hand drift over every dip of muscle between his shoulders, every small freckle you knew just from memory, then down and down his spine.
You flirted with the idea of inching down the sheets, where his bare ass would greet you. From there, you supposed you'd decide what wandering direction your hand took next.
“If you don’t go to sleep,” his deep voice rumbled, “I’m gonna wake up and fuck you again.”
You bit your lip against a giggle, but you didn’t quite succeed.
“It sounds like you’re already awake,” you remarked.
Ben grumbled incoherently in response. He was tired, you knew. He’d just come back from a week-long mission with Butcher and Co. for Supe Affairs. Hence the long night you two spent catching up.
If you were honest, you were still tingling between your legs. Your thighs and ass were a little sore too. Likely they’d be sporting a few fingerprints tomorrow.
You didn't mind it so much though. You two now had a safe word for that kind of thing.
You smirked, sifting your fingers through his hair. It was getting long again. Maybe you’d trim it for him tomorrow, since you both had the weekend off.  
Your hand meandered down the back of his neck, just to begin dragging your nails up and down the slope of his back.
“What does that feel like to you?” you asked curiously. You often wondered how much his invulnerability affected the way he felt things, especially the way you touched him.
“Like a tease,” he muttered.
You applied some more pressure with your nails. Not the way you’d scored his back about an hour ago, when he’d had his sinful mouth all over your body, but enough to be more than a tease. Enough that it would’ve left an angry, red trail on your own “fragile” human skin.
Still, you weren’t able to leave any marks on him. Just a faint whiteness of pressure against his skin that soon returned to normal when you moved your hand away.
“How about that?” you asked.
“Like you’re playing with fucking fire,” Ben said, though you heard the smirk in his voice. “Go to sleep.”
You smiled too.
“We'll pick this up in the morning,” he made sure to add, though he was already halfway back to slumber, from the sound of it.
“Oh, I’m sure,” you said, laughing lightly. You leaned over and pressed a soft kiss against his shoulder. “G’night, babe.”
“Mhmm,” he responded.
He groaned deep in his throat and turned over onto his back. Your smile remained as your body tensed in anticipation, but all he did was slide an arm under your waist and curl you towards him, trapping you against his chest. His hand splayed against your lower back, heavy and warm.
His lips brushed your hair away from your forehead and lingered there. He closed his eyes and let out a deep exhale. You did the same, relaxing against him. Your hand came to rest against the steady thrum of his heart.
Moments like this with him still managed to surprise you…but admittedly, less and less the longer you lived and shared together.
A girl could get used to it though.
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AN: Lol should she have pressed her luck? Let me know what you think of this one! 😉💚
Keep Reading in the BMD-verse:
Next we have a little hurt/comfort drabble, A Simple Touch:
Summary: Annie still has reservations about Ben, and you dating him for that matter…until she sees it.
▶️ Next Story: A Simple Touch
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Ko-Fi Me ☕
Break Me Down Masterlist
Soldier Boy Masterlist
Main Masterlist
BMD Tag List (Part 1):
Including the BMD tag list on this, since that's what my heart was imagining. 😂
@deans-spinster-witch @this-is-me19 @waynes-multiverse @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @spalady26
@spnwoman @syrma-sensei @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @muhahaha303 @123passwort
@mrsjenniferwinchester @lyarr24 @xoxovienna @lollag0w0 @globetrotter28
@nancymcl @ashbatz @vavafaure1994 @kristophalis @wonderland2022
@emily-winchester @shelh93 @sl33pylilbunny @spoonmynoodle @chernayawidow
@buckybarnes-1917 @asgardprincess97 @sometimes-i-sing @itsyellow @theonlymaninthesky
@kimberleymjw @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @iamsapphine @sanscas @se-fucking-hun
@lassie-bird @jessjad @yepimthatperson @fromcaintodean @stoneyggirl2
@spnfamily-j2 @im-a-slut-for-fluff @lacilou @venicesem @mimaria420
@tearsfortheyouth @agalliasi @chriszgirl92 @kazsrm67 @deansbbyx
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willowfey · 2 years ago
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woke up after a dream of having an older sister that was beautiful and soft and that i looked up to so much feeling so sad and nostalgic for my bedroom at my grandma’s old house in winter when i would come home from school and sit on the bottom bunk in front of the heater and write and write and indulge so heavily in my fantasy worlds that i forgot about everything else until she was done making soup and bread and cobbler which i would then eat from a clay bowl with my favourite red spoon i’d loved since i was a small child that i haven’t used in years and watch the snow fall on the trees and the deer out the window while smelling the soup and the heater and the incense and the browning sugar in the oven and my favourite face lotion i haven’t been able to find in years and daydreaming about having an old sister that was beautiful and soft and would teach me how to be as well
#i don’t know what happened#i woke up feeling like crying bc in the dream she felt like a memory#i woke up and i missed her and i missed my grandma’s old house and i’m never gonna see either of them ever again#i’m not ready to be the age i once looked up to. i need someone to show me how. i need to watch the snow and the deer a while longer.#the smell of the heater clicking on is still my favourite smell and every time it does i feel like i’m home for just a split second#and then it disappears#i want so much but above all else i want to fall asleep in that bottom bunk again in front of the heater. my hand against the frosty window#i want an older sister to tell me how to be but instead i have to be that older sister. and i’m not doing it right.#i’m never gonna grow up i’m never gonna move on i’m still watching doctor who on the floor wondering what it’s like to be kissed#i’m still trying to figure out how to dress and how to do my hair and how to sound normal when i talk to people#how am i supposed to exist. how am i supposed to have kids like i’ve always wanted when i’m still a kid myself#how am i supposed to have the dream wedding i imagined as a child if i can’t even get someone to look at me the right away#how am i supposed to endure this endless summer when all i want is that first snow landing softly on the back of a fawn#can i fall asleep again and ask her? or is she just another thing gone from me forever that i didn’t get enough time with
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jjenthusee · 8 months ago
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Woven Hands
jason todd x reader
A/N: thank u to @heavysighing-dreamyeyes for their post linked here for their jason headcanons, they got me dancing and swinging my feet while I wait for my classes. 🤭 ENJOY my small drabble, tell me ur thoughts in the comments :D
also small rant but tell me why i never undated my tumblr app and i was struggling for so long and everything didn’t look like how it was supposed to? 😀 please don’t be like me and update yo shiz like responsible human beings
“Don’t make me do this.” You muttered, standing on top of the couch cushions, water gun hoisted in your pocket, filled completely with sink water.
You felt the weight of the water droop in your pants, you squinted, trying to frighten your opponent. You didn’t have a holster, so your sweatpants pocket was the next best thing.
The couch increased your height, made you stand tall, allowed your voice to be more direct. You wanted to overpower Jason, part-time Red Hood, full time smack talker.
“And what are you gonna do if I don’t listen?” Jason’s eyes lowered, voice deepening to a menacing tone. Invisible cowboy hat tilted on his head.
He stood tall, spreading his legs shoulder width apart, letting muscle memory place him in an opposing stance that’s proven effective each time someone has tried to stupidly test the Red Hood.
He lowered his hands, fingers dancing in the air as he waited to reach for his water gun in his holster.
Lucky fucker was wearing a holster because he’s the Red Hood. Not only does he get a cheat, but he has two water guns?
Completely absurd.
“You might not live long enough to find out.” You tilted your chin up, trying to attempt to be arrogant, but the smirk on Jason’s face was telling you it wasn’t as effective as you hoped.
Maybe if you could actually be taller than him, it would make you sound tough, but looking from just above his eye-level was the best you were going to get.
Jason’s shook his head, slowly, calculating your moves as he never took his eyes off of you.
You met his stare, never blinking as you watched.
You could feel your eyes wavering, shaking the longer you looked.
Jason was calm, his stare locked onto you. Countless interrogations under his belt, aiding him the experience you didn’t have.
“You know we both can’t walk away from this. We have too much history.” He spoke, letting the words settle between your showdown.
You firmly frowned.
“I stand by what I said and if you can’t live with that…I guess you leave me with no other choice.” You quickly grabbed your water gun, angling it to your partner.
By the time you could pull the trigger, water was hitting your shirt. Soaking into your skin as you looked down, watching the fabric darken.
Like in slow motion, you fell to your knees, watching Jason also get his shirt soaked, but not nearly enough as yours.
“No, no, it wasn’t supposed to end like this.” You dropped your plastic water gun, reaching up with your free hands to grab your shirt.
You plopped down onto the couch, letting your body go limp as you laid there.
“I told you, only one of us would walk away from this.” Jason walked over, kneeling next to the couch, where your body lay.
You reach up, feigning shaking hands as you reached for the muscular man with his imaginary cowboy hat.
You gestured for Jason to lean closer, following along with your antics.
You carefully lowered your voice to a whisper, a final wish.
“Delete my search history.”
You closed your eyes, arms going limp as you stuck your tongue out in a bad rendition of fake dying.
Jason laughed, reaching out to grab your hands in between his warm ones.
You never moved, zeroing in on the feeling of your fingers.
Soft caresses. A small peck before Jason littered your knuckles in kisses. Kissing down to your finger tips, then repeating down to your wrists.
“I should’ve chosen a sword fight, how could I choose water guns of all things?” You opened your eyes, shaking your head as Jason continued to worship your skin.
“You’re just pouting.” He said in between kisses, nose pressed into your palm.
“Come on, you always get to kiss my hands, when can I hold yours?” You watched carefully, thoughts slowly lost to the repeated warmth from Jason’s lips.
“Wanna sword fight to find out?” Jason smiled into your hands.
end a/n: serial hand kisser jason changed my life, thank u pooks for ur headcanons and restructuring my brain. and thank u 🫵 for reading my drabble, i just thought this was a silly idea :D
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uncuredturkeybacon · 22 days ago
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𝚍𝚘 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞? || 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚐𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚎𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚡 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛
in which she forgets but fate doesn't
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The hospital lights are always too bright.
Sterile. Cold. Clinical. Nothing like the warmth you used to feel wrapped up in Paige’s arms after a long day, her voice soft against your ear, whispering about dreams and game plans and how lucky she felt to have you.
But now, the only sound that echoes in the room is the beeping of monitors. A rhythm you’ve come to hate because it means she’s alive—but not whole.
She’s been awake for three days.
Three long, agonizing days since the doctors told you the words you never thought you’d hear. Partial retrograde amnesia. A fancy way of saying: She doesn’t remember you.
She remembered basketball. Her coach. Her teammates. Her stats.
But not you.
Not the woman who held her through every injury. Not the woman who kissed her forehead before every game. Not the woman who stood in the stands with her jersey on and tears in her eyes every time she made history.
And the worst part?
She didn’t even seem to want to.
Every time you tried to talk to her, to offer something—anything—to make it come back, she would shrink further into herself. Polite, but distant. Guarded.
You told yourself to be patient. To give her time. Love is supposed to wait, right?
But then her parents pulled you aside.
Her mom couldn’t meet your eyes. Her dad’s voice was gentle but firm.
“Maybe it’s best,” he said, “if you give her some space.”
“She’s overwhelmed,” her mom added. “She’s trying to focus on healing. And you being here… it’s a lot.”
You felt like your heart had been ripped out and handed to you in a sterile hospital hallway.
“But I—” you started, but your voice cracked.
“She doesn’t remember you,” her dad said softly. “Maybe it’s time you start healing too.”
And just like that, you were being erased.
You left UConn a week later.
You couldn’t stay. Not in that gym where you used to shoot around after practice together. Not in that dorm where her laughter used to echo through the halls, tangled up with yours.
You entered the transfer portal.
A week after that, you were headed to UCLA.
New coast. New team. New life.
Except it wasn’t really a life at all.
Because every morning you woke up without her. Every night you fell asleep trying to forget the way she used to whisper I love you against your shoulder.
And Paige?
Paige healed.
She recovered. She rejoined practice. And every now and then, she’d ask her parents, “Hey… that girl that used to sit by my bed. Who was she?”
Her parents would smile too tightly. “Oh, just someone from school,” they’d say. “Don’t worry about it.” “Focus on your future.”
So she tried. She buried the questions. Tried to push past the shadow of a memory she couldn’t reach.
It’s been a year.
Final Four. UConn vs. UCLA.
Of course it comes down to this. The universe has a sick sense of humor.
You spot her across the court during warmups.
Paige Bueckers. Back in form. Confident. Deadly. Beautiful in a way that still makes your chest ache.
She doesn’t see you. Or maybe she does and doesn’t know what you mean.
You play your heart out. Every cut, every drive, every shot—there’s fire behind it. But it’s not enough. UConn takes the win.
And then it’s the handshake line.
You don’t know what’s worse—the idea of touching her again, or the idea of not.
She reaches for your hand. Her fingers close around yours.
You look up.
Her eyes meet yours. And something flickers.
A spark. A ghost of recognition. A heartbeat caught in her throat.
“Good game,” she says automatically, her voice hoarse from emotion.
You nod, lips trembling. “You too.”
You try to let go first, but she holds on a second longer. Like maybe she doesn’t want to let go.
Like maybe she knows.
But you pull away with a small smile and walk off.
You don’t look back. You can’t. Because the tears are already falling.
That night, Paige can’t sleep.
She’s tossing and turning in the hotel bed, staring at the ceiling, the handshake replaying in her mind on a loop.
Then she starts seeing flashes.
Not highlights. Not plays.
You.
Laughing in the passenger seat of her car, your hand hanging out the window. Falling asleep on her chest after late practices. Sneaking out of hotels for midnight milkshakes before big games. Crying in her arms after your first big loss together. The way she used to kiss the inside of your wrist like it was sacred.
Your voice echoing in her head:
"You make everything feel lighter."
And then— Pain. Sharp and raw. Like her heart’s been waiting all year to remember and now it finally does.
She sits up with a gasp, chest heaving.
And she remembers everything.
The accident. The look on your face when she didn’t know your name. The way you held her hand even when she pulled away. The way you loved her even when she forgot.
And the day you left—eyes red, voice shaking, whispering, “If you ever remember me… I hope it’s the good parts.”
She buries her face in her hands and sobs. Gut-wrenching, soul-breaking sobs.
Because she remembers now. She remembers you. And she let you walk away.
She remembers everything now.
It hits her like a freight train the moment she wakes up, drenched in sweat and tears, clutching the sheets like they’re the only thing tethering her to the world.
You.
Your laugh. Your touch. The way you used to whisper “we’ve got this” before every game like you were casting a spell.
She remembers the accident. The way you used to sit by her bedside, silently praying for a miracle.
She remembers the confusion in your eyes every time she said, “Do I know you?” The way your shoulders slumped just a little more each day.
And then— Your goodbye. Your eyes red. Voice cracking. That whisper— "If you ever remember me… I hope it’s the good parts."
She needs to find you.
Now.
She jumps out of bed, heart racing, hands shaking as she fumbles with her phone.
Instagram. Blocked. Twitter. Blocked. TikTok. Blocked. Message. Green bubble. No profile picture. No read receipts. Just a wall where there used to be warmth.
She searches your name again, as if something might’ve changed in the last five seconds.
Nothing. You’re gone.
She stares at the screen like it might apologize.
Like it might undo what her silence, her forgetting, has cost her.
She runs to her parent’s hotel room like she’s being chased, the ache in her chest growing with every mile. The moment she steps through the door, her mom’s face pales.
“You remember,” her mom says softly.
Paige nods, jaw tight. “Everything.”
Her dad shifts uncomfortably. “Paige, we didn’t mean to—”
“You told her to leave, didn’t you?” Her voice is hoarse now. Breaking. “You told the love of my life to walk away from me.”
“You were overwhelmed,” her mom defends gently. “You didn’t recognize her, and she was—”
“She was mine!” Paige snaps, the tears already welling in her eyes. “She waited by my bed every day, and you treated her like she was some stranger trying to mess with me.”
Her mom’s lip trembles. “We thought we were helping—”
“You weren’t. You took her from me.”
She’s crying now. Full-on sobs she can’t control. Her knees buckle and she sinks to the kitchen floor, head in her hands.
Her dad kneels beside her, reaching to touch her shoulder, but she flinches away.
“She left because she loved me,” she chokes out. “And now I’ve lost her for good.”
Championship night.
It’s everything she dreamed of.
Confetti falls from the rafters. Cameras flash. Reporters crowd the court. The trophy’s heavy in her arms, shining under the lights.
But all she feels is empty.
Because you’re not there.
Not in the stands wearing her jersey. Not on the court, jumping into her arms. Not waiting in the tunnel with your arms wide and your smile even wider.
You’re nowhere.
She stands there, holding the championship trophy, and the moment the cameras pull away, she breaks.
Sinks to the hardwood, sobbing so hard her chest shakes.
Azzi and KK rush to her, but there’s nothing they can do. Nothing anyone can do.
Because she won it. The dream you built together. The thing you used to whisper about under blankets and after practice and in quiet corners of the world. “We’ll win one together. Just wait.”
You waited. You believed. And she forgot you.
And now you’re gone.
Later, alone in the locker room, she scrolls through your old messages.
The ones she didn’t delete. The ones she couldn’t.
"I believe in you always." "You’re not alone. Not ever." "We’re going to make it, babe. I promise."
She clutches her phone to her chest and cries again. The trophy sits on the bench beside her, shining quietly.
But it doesn’t mean a damn thing.
Because she won.
But she lost you.
It’s been a week.
Seven days since the championship. Since the confetti. Since Paige collapsed in the locker room clutching a trophy in one hand and her heart in the other.
She hasn’t stopped thinking about you. You, who should’ve been on the court beside her. You, who used to trace plays on her back with your fingers at night, whispering “When we win it all…” like it was gospel.
But you weren’t there.
And the silence is louder than any celebration ever could be.
She’s sitting in the back of a black SUV on the way to the WNBA Draft, staring at the world outside the window, eyes glazed over.
Azzi’s next to her, buzzing with nerves and excitement. Paige should be too. She’s projected to go first. Her dream is about to come true.
But her hands are cold. Her throat’s dry. Because the person she wanted to celebrate with most— Is gone.
And she doesn’t know if she’ll ever see you again.
You told yourself you wouldn’t come. You’d done the whole disappearing act flawlessly—blocked numbers, wiped socials, cut the thread before it could pull you back in.
But then the day arrived, and you couldn’t stay away.
So now you’re here.
Not in the front row. Not on the list. But tucked away in the back of the venue in jeans and a hoodie, hood up like maybe that’ll hide the way your heart is thudding in your chest.
You just wanted to see her one last time.
The lights dim. The commissioner steps up to the mic.
“With the first pick in the 2025 WNBA Draft, the Dallas Wings select…”
You hold your breath.
“Paige Bueckers, from University of Connecticut.”
The crowd explodes.
You’re on your feet before you know it, clapping with your whole soul, because God, you’re proud of her.
Because no matter the distance, no matter the heartbreak— You always believed in her.
She walks across the stage, hugs her parents, accepts the jersey, does the interview.
And for a moment, you let yourself imagine an alternate world. One where you're up there with her. Where she never forgot. Where you never left.
But you blink and it’s gone.
You’re halfway to the exit when the commissioner returns to the podium.
You pause.
Probably just the last few names. Filler. Nothing that concerns you.
“…and with the 30th pick in the 2025 WNBA Draft…”
You check your phone, already mentally checking out.
“The Dallas Wings select…”
You look up absently.
“…Y/N L/N, from University of California Los Angeles.”
Your heart stops.
You freeze. Eyes wide. Mouth open.
No. That— That has to be a mistake.
You barely played this year. You didn’t go to any pre-draft camps. You only declared because your coaches pushed you to. You didn’t even think you’d get a look.
And now— Now you're drafted?
By Dallas?
The same team as Paige?
The same Paige who’s sitting with the commentators, still soaking up the high of being drafted first overall, smiling through interviews — until your name’s announced.
You see it in real time. Her whole body freezes.
The mic drops a little in her hand. Her head snaps toward the screen behind her, where your face flashes beside your name.
She doesn’t even blink.
Because she heard it. She felt it.
Just like you did.
After taking your picture, you’re pulled into a different room, mind still i overdrive, not being to comprehend much yet. As you walk in, there she was — looking beautiful in her suit.
You don't know what to expect. A handshake? A nod? Maybe just silence?
But as soon as you reach her— She steps forward and pulls you into a hug.
Tight. Shaking. Desperate.
And suddenly you're back in her arms, back in the place you never thought you'd be again.
"I prayed for a second chance," she whispers in your ear. "And you showed up."
You swallow the lump in your throat, gripping the back of her jersey like it’s the only thing keeping you from falling apart.
“I didn’t think I’d get drafted,” you murmur. “Didn’t think I’d see you again.”
She pulls back just enough to look you in the eyes. There's glassiness there, but also something else—something soft and fierce and real.
“I’m not losing you again,” she says, voice thick with tears.
You can’t trust yourself to speak. So you just nod. Because maybe this time, fate is finally on your side.
613 notes · View notes
starkeymeow · 2 months ago
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plot ── after you undergo a procedure to erase rafe from your memory, rafe, devastated by the realization, decides to do the same, only to find himself fighting to hold onto the love you shared, proving that some connections can never truly be forgotten.
content ── another fucking mini series bc i cant stop, rafes perspective, memory loss, emotional distress & heartbreak obvi, dysfunctional relationships, existential themes
authors note ── sorry guys ive been so busy w my new life that i have NOT touched tumblr in a good while. plus this semester is more demanding in terms of my workload ugh so im never writing anym its so lame
main masterlist | next
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rafe stares at the card, his fingers gripping the edges so tightly the paper starts to bend. his breath is slow, shallow, like his body is forgetting how to function properly. the words blur together, but it doesn’t matter. he’s already memorized them.
he lifts his gaze to his father. ward stands stiff, arms crossed, staring down at his shoes like he’s the one who’s been blindsided. like he’s the one who just had his entire world gutted out of him in a single fucking sentence.
there’s guilt in the way he exhales through his nose, in the way his jaw slides ever so slightly, but rafe doesn’t give him the chance to speak.
“this is real?” his voice comes out rough, barely above a whisper, as if saying it too loud will make it more true.
ward hesitates, then nods.
rafe lets out a short, breathless laugh, his chest rising sharply before sinking under the weight of it all. he shakes his head, tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek as he looks down at the card again, like maybe this time the words will rearrange themselves into something less impossible.
“so, what?” he scoffs, wetness pricking at his eyes. “they just . . . deleted me? like a fucking file on a computer?”
ward sighs. long, slow, through his nose. he knew this would be hard to explain.
“how many?” rafe asks. how many memories are gone now?
his father doesn’t answer right away. his jaw shifts, gaze dropping to the floor like he doesn’t want to say it. or maybe he’s just trying to soften the blow of something that can’t be softened.
when he finally speaks, his voice is careful. deliberate. “all of ‘em, bud.”
rafe scoffs again, but it’s weaker this time, like his body is struggling to keep up with his disbelief. he smiles, but it’s the kind that only comes when someone is trying not to fall apart.
“no . . . no. she didn’t. she wouldn’t do that.” he shakes his head again, faster this time. “that’s not even a fucking thing— i mean, erasing someone from your mind? since when did we have the tech for that bullshit? that didn’t happen.”
he throws the card onto the table like it burns to hold it any longer. gets up so fast his chair scrapes loudly against the floor. his chest is rising and falling too quickly, hands threading behind his head as he paces across the kitchen, back and forth, back and forth, his fingers digging into his scalp.
ward doesn’t stop him. he just watches, his own grief settling deep in his expression. and maybe it’s not the same kind of grief. maybe it’s not the gut-wrenching, all-consuming, ‘i’ve lost the love of my life kind’, but it’s still there.
because he’s seen lucuna inc. before, out near the edge of the island, where no one really looks unless they’re desperate enough to. he’s seen it and he’s hoped no one he loves would ever consider walking through its doors.
but you did. a girl who once sat at his dinner table, who used to laugh with his family, who was supposed to be his daughter-in-law one day.
was rafe really that bad? bad enough to make you want to erase him?
rafe stops pacing so suddenly it’s like something clicks into place inside him. he turns, slipping out of the kitchen without another word. his father calls after him, but he doesn’t listen. his hands move on their own, grabbing his keys from the hook by the front door, pushing outside, stepping into the thick outer banks air like he’s coming up for air after drowning.
he doesn’t know where he’s going.
apparently, he can’t go to you.
but he’ll do something.
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a/n: just the short little prologue so def let me know if ud like to be tagged for this one!
637 notes · View notes
jincapableoflove · 2 months ago
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The One That Got Away (Almost) | one-shot
Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: ex bf! jungkook, ex gf! reader, exes to lovers, second chances, wedding setting, mutual pining, angst, fluff.
Summary: You weren’t supposed to see him again. Not after everything. But when your mutual friends invite you to their wedding, you’re forced to face Jungkook—the boy who once had your heart, the man you never quite got over.
Word count: 3k+
Warnings:  tension-filled reunion, emotional vulnerability, painful reminiscing, longing stares, unresolved feelings, mutual pining, a near kiss, ambiguous ending (or is it?), fluff and angst intertwined.
Inspired by: diamonddaze01's fic "hesitate"
MOODBOARD
A/N: something i whipped up in less than an hour lmaooo idk what this i was studying for my finals and then suddenly got inspired. not edited/proofread
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The moment you step inside, a wave of warmth and laughter crashes against you, loud enough to drown out the doubts still clawing at your mind.
You shouldn’t have come. You knew that the second you reached the grand entrance, standing outside for far too long, debating whether to turn around and disappear before anyone noticed you. But now, it’s too late. You’re here—surrounded by the golden glow of chandeliers, the delicate scent of fresh flowers, and the low hum of a string quartet playing in the background.
Guests in elegant attire drift past you, their smiles easy, their conversations effortless. You, on the other hand, feel out of place. Like a misplaced puzzle piece in a picture you no longer belong to. Your fingers tighten around the small purse in your hands, grounding yourself, trying to suppress the voice in your head that keeps whispering this was a mistake.
And then—your eyes lift, almost instinctively, drawn to a presence you don’t even realize you’re searching for.
There he is.
Jeon Jungkook.
Standing across the room, looking just as devastating as the last time you saw him. Maybe even more. His dark hair is neatly styled, but there’s still a hint of unruliness to it, like he ran his fingers through it moments ago. The sharp lines of his tuxedo fit him perfectly, tailored to a body you remember far too well. But it’s his face that steals your breath—because it’s different now.
A small silver pierces through his eyebrow, catching the warm light as he turns his head slightly. Your stomach tightens at the sight of it. Then your gaze drops, lower, to his mouth—oh. There’s a ring on his lower lip nowtoo, resting at the corner like it belongs there, like it’s always been there.
But it hasn’t.
He didn’t have them before. Not when you knew him.
And yet, standing there,with his piercing gaze locked onto yours, it’s impossible to imagine him any other way. Like this is who he was always meant to be. Like the boy you knew is long gone, replaced by someone sharper, someone who looks like he’s seen more, lived more.
Jungkook doesn’t look away.
And neither do you.
Because the moment your gaze collides with his, time folds in on itself, pulling you back to places you swore you’d never return to. Memories flicker at the edges of your mind, ones you spent too long trying to bury. Ones that still have the power to unravel you if you’re not careful.
But as he lifts his glass to his lips—piercing catching against the rim, a slow smirk tugging at his mouth—you realize something else.
You’re not careful. You've never been careful.
Not when it comes to him.
The air between you tightens, crackling with a tension you don’t know how to name. For a second, neither of you move. Neither of you speak.
Then—he takes a breath, tilting his head slightly. His lip ring glints under the warm lights, the movement drawing your attention, and suddenly, you’re hyper-aware of everything about him. The sharp cut of his jaw, his muscular frame, the way time has altered him in small, striking ways—yet, somehow, he’s still unmistakably Jungkook.
You force yourself to approach. You can’t just stand here, frozen, when he’s already watching you with that unreadable expression.
"Jungkook," you say, your voice carefully even.
"Y/N." His lips curve, just slightly, but there’s something guarded in his tone. Something that wasn’t always there.
The polite exchange feels strange—stiff and unfamiliar, like wearing a shirt that no longer fits right. There’s an awkwardness to it, a hesitance. You’ve spoken to him a thousand times before, but not like this. Not with this much distance wedged between you.
Before either of you can find the right words, a voice cuts through the thick silence.
"Oh my God, you two!"
You barely have time to process before Hana, your best friend, who is glowing and radiant in her wedding dress, steps between you, beaming. "I can’t believe this reunion is happening at my wedding," she gushes, clasping her hands together.
Jungkook exhales a quiet laugh, rubbing the back of his neck, while you muster up a smile, though your fingers tighten around your clutch.
"You were inseparable back then," Hana sighs dreamily, glancing between you. "I honestly thought you’d still be together."
Your smile falters.
Jungkook chuckles, low and soft, but there’s something strained in the sound—something only noticeable if you know what to listen for. And you do.
Before you can respond, another voice joins the conversation.
"Yeah, you two were a team."
You turn just as Namjoon walks up, hands in his pockets, a knowing glint in his eyes. He nods toward you both. "If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you both planned to avoid each other tonight."
Your breath catches, fingers curling slightly.
Because he’s right.
You weren’t supposed to see Jungkook. You weren’t supposed to be standing here, side by side, being dissected by old friends who still remember you as a pair.
It’s too much. The past presses in too tightly, threatening to unravel the fragile walls you’ve built around it.
You clear your throat, shifting on your feet. "I should—um, I need to go check on something."
The excuse is weak, but no one stops you.
Jungkook doesn’t stop you.
You turn on your heel, slipping into the crowd, the weight of his gaze lingering long after you walk away.
The memory creeps in before you can stop it. It always does when it comes to him.
Maybe it’s the way his voice sounded just now—lower, more restrained, like he was holding something back. Maybe it’s the way his lips curved into that half-smile, the same one you used to know, except now there’s something different about it. Something heavier.
Or maybe it’s just this place—this moment—forcing you to remember.
The beginning of the end wasn’t loud. There was no big fight, no shattered glasses or slammed doors. It was quiet. Subtle. The kind of unraveling that happens so slowly you don’t notice until it’s too late.
It started with the missed calls. You’d stare at your phone, watching the screen go dark after ringing out, telling yourself he’d call back. Sometimes he did. Sometimes he didn’t. You told yourself it didn’t matter. That he was busy. That you were busy. That things would go back to normal soon.
But they didn’t.
Then came the growing distance—conversations that used to last for hours dwindled to minutes. The effortless ease between you started to fade, replaced by careful words and spaces that never used to exist. You still reached for each other, still tried to hold on, but it wasn’t the same. It was like grasping at something that had already begun slipping through your fingers.
And then, one day, you realized—neither of you was fighting for it anymore.
Maybe that was the worst part.
Not the silence. Not the aching loneliness that settled between you even when you were in the same room. Not even the final moment when you walked away, knowing it was over.
No, the worst part was knowing that, in the end, you had both stopped choosing each other.
You wonder if Jungkook ever regretted it.
If he ever picked up his phone and almost called you. If he ever looked at old photos, reread old messages, and felt the same pang in his chest that you do now.
But as you steal a glance at him across the room—his piercing catching the light, his expression unreadable—you realize you don’t have an answer. Maybe you never will.
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The soft hum of a love song drifts through the air, weaving its way through the golden-lit ballroom. You recognize it instantly—one of those songs that used to play in the background of late-night drives and whispered conversations, back when everything between you and Jungkook was easy. When love felt effortless.
You should walk away.
But before you can, Hana’s voice breaks through your thoughts.
She appears beside you, eyes twinkling with mischief. "Oh, come on," she teases, giving your arm a gentle push. "It’s just one dance."
You blink. "Hana—"
"Y/N."
His voice comes from behind you, deep and low, sending a shiver down your spine. When you turn, Jungkook is already standing there, hand outstretched, waiting.
The sight of him like this—watching you with quiet intent, his fingers inches from yours—it makes something in your chest tighten. His eyebrow piercing glints under the chandelier light, and for a second, you wonder how much has really changed between you.
You hesitate.
You should say no.
But you don’t.
Instead, you exhale a quiet breath and place your hand in his.
The warmth of his palm against yours is startling, a reminder of how well you once fit together. His grip is firm but careful as he leads you to the dance floor, and when his other hand finds the small of your back, you feel the air shift—like the past and present have begun to blur.
You move together, slow and measured, like muscle memory kicking in. The tension that once hung between you begins to soften, melting into something quieter, something almost tender.
But beneath it, the pain lingers.
It lingers in the way Jungkook’s fingers tighten slightly around yours. In the way his eyes search yours, like he’s trying to remember something he lost. Or maybe something he let go of too soon.
And then, softly—so softly you almost miss it—he speaks.
"Do you ever think about it?"
You inhale sharply, your chest tightening.
There’s no need to ask what it is. You know.
Your fingers curl slightly against his shoulder, and for the first time in a long time, you let yourself be honest.
"All the time," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper.
Jungkook swallows. And when he looks at you, it’s not just him looking at you. It’s the boy you used to love. The boy who once knew you better than anyone else. The boy who, despite everything, still holds a piece of you.
He looks at you like he’s seeing a version of the past—one he still wishes was real.
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The night air is crisp against your skin as you step onto the terrace, exhaling a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. The muffled hum of music and laughter fades behind you, leaving only the quiet rustling of leaves and the distant hum of the city. You press your hands against the cool railing, tilting your head back to stare at the sky.
You needed this. A moment to breathe. To gather the thoughts that have been unraveling since the moment you locked eyes with Jungkook tonight.
But you’re not alone for long.
Footsteps echo softly against the stone floor, and then—
"Running away again?"
The voice is unmistakable.
You don’t turn around, but your lips twitch. "Maybe."
Jungkook exhales a quiet chuckle, stepping beside you. His shoulder is close enough to feel, radiating warmth, but he doesn’t touch you. He just leans against the railing, mirroring your stance, gazing out at the horizon.
For a while, neither of you speak. It’s not the same suffocating silence that had filled the space between you before—it’s something different. Something hesitant, fragile.
And then, finally—
"I should have fought harder." His voice is low, but there’s no mistaking the weight behind it. "For us."
You swallow, fingers tightening against the railing. "We both should have."
Jungkook turns his head, watching you carefully. His eyebrow piercing catches the faint glow of the terrace lights, but it’s his eyes that hold you captive—deep, searching, carrying years’ worth of unspoken words.
"I never stopped wondering about you," he confesses. "Where you were. If you were happy. If you ever…" He trails off, shaking his head slightly, as if the words are too much.
Your chest aches.
Because you know exactly how he feels.
Your breath trembles as you force yourself to meet his gaze. "I never stopped missing you."
Something shifts in his expression—something raw and unguarded, like he wasn’t expecting you to say it out loud. His fingers flex against the railing, and for a split second, you think he might reach for you.
But he doesn’t.
Instead, you stand there, under the vast stretch of stars, caught in the space between what was and what could have been.
The world narrows to this moment.
The distant laughter and music from the wedding fade into nothing. The cool night air, the stars overhead, the lingering scent of roses from the terrace garden—none of it matters. Not when Jungkook is standing this close. Not when his eyes are locked onto yours like he’s searching for something he lost.
You don’t know how long you’ve been standing there, just looking at each other. But it feels like forever. And yet, not nearly long enough.
Then, so softly you almost think you imagined it, his fingers brush against yours.
It’s the lightest touch—barely there—but it’s enough. Enough to make your breath hitch, to send a shiver through your skin, to remind you how it used to feel when touching him wasn’t a question, just instinct.
His hand lingers, and your fingers twitch, tempted to curl around his.
Jungkook shifts closer.
Your pulse thrums as his gaze flickers down—to your lips, then back to your eyes. You can feel the heat radiating from him, see the slight hesitation in the way he exhales, slow and measured, like he’s trying to steady himself.
Then, he leans in.
Just a little. Just enough that you can feel his breath ghosting over your lips, warm and intoxicating.
Your heart pounds.
And for one fleeting, reckless second, you think—Maybe this time.
But then—
"Jungkook!"
The name cuts through the night like a blade, shattering the fragile moment between you.
You both freeze.
His shoulders tense, his lips part like he wants to say something—but the spell is broken.
Reality crashes down.
The night is ending. You can feel it in the way the air shifts, in the distant sound of laughter echoing from the reception hall, in the quiet, unspoken weight pressing between you and Jungkook.
He stands before you, hands buried in his pockets, eyes flickering with something unreadable. For a moment, he just looks at you—like he’s memorizing your face, like he’s trying to hold onto something before it slips away.
Like he wants to say something.
But then, instead of words, he exhales softly and smiles.
It’s small. Sad. Fleeting. The kind of smile that carries years of unsaid apologies, of missed chances, of everything that could have been but never was.
And just like that, you know.
This is goodbye.
Behind him, Namjoon watches the exchange, arms crossed, shaking his head with the kind of knowing that makes your chest ache. “Some things never change,” he mutters, almost to himself.
Maybe he’s right. Maybe this is just another chapter of the same old story—one where you watch Jungkook walk away, and he lets you.
Maybe this is how it’s always meant to end.
Your fingers twitch at your sides. You should let him go.
But—
"Jungkook."
His name barely makes it past your lips, but it’s enough. Enough to stop him in his tracks, enough to make his shoulders tense before he slowly turns back to face you. His expression is guarded, hesitant—like he doesn’t want to hope but can’t help it anyway.
Your pulse pounds, hands trembling at your sides. You don’t have the perfect words, no grand speech or well-rehearsed confession. But maybe you don’t need one. Maybe all that matters is this.
"Would you stay if I asked you to?"
The night air hangs heavy between you, thick with anticipation. For a heartbeat, you think he won’t answer—that maybe you’re too late.
But then—
His lips part on a quiet, shaky exhale. And when he speaks, his voice is barely above a whisper.
"I would."
Your breath catches.
Jungkook takes a step closer, then another, closing the space between you. His gaze flickers over your face—searching, waiting, making sure this is real. That you won’t take it back.
And you don’t.
For the first time in years, you choose him.
A slow, tentative smile tugs at the corner of his lips, chasing away the sadness that had been lingering there all night. His fingers brush against yours—warm, familiar, grounding.
This time, you don’t pull away.
This time, neither of you let go.
Maybe he was almost the one that got away.
Almost.
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taglist: @dreamersparacosm @taekritimin123 @claireshelby @toosweetforyall @iamstilljk @jjkluver7 @travelgurrl @baechugff @whoa-jo @junniesoleilkth @kxthx-b @smoljimjim @jk97bam @dna-black-and-blue @sanarin @rebwwca @belleilichil
lmk if u liked it <3 (if this gets a good response i may or may not write a part 2/drabble for this couple)
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kwilquib · 3 months ago
Text
Falling for You, Again.
TripleS Kim Yooyeon x Reader
Switching POV
Word Count: 14.4k+
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Kim Yooyeon sat upright in the hospital bed, the sterile scent of disinfectant clinging to the air. It no longer unsettled her the way it once did. She had been here long enough to adjust—to wake up every morning knowing she had lost her memories, knowing that her only grasp on the past came from what others told her.
And what they told her was this:
She was married. She was deeply in love. And her husband, who had been abroad for work, had been devastated when he heard about the accident, even more when he couldn't return immediately. Today—the day of her discharge—she would finally go home.
Her parents had been with her since the beginning, threading her past together with their words. Their voices were steady, unwavering—as if the truth could be spoken into existence.
"You and your husband were so perfect together," her mother gushed, her voice thick with emotion. "Always looking at each other like you were the only two people in the world."
Yooyeon held onto the words, testing them, trying to find something familiar in them.
A flicker of memory surfaced. A formal dinner, the gentle clink of wine glasses, a man’s hand resting on the small of her back as they smiled for photographs. She could almost hear the laughter, but it felt distant, muted—like a scene from someone else’s life.
Her father nodded approvingly. "He's a good man. Responsible, capable. And devoted to you, as any husband should be."
Another fragment—her husband adjusting his tie in their shared bathroom mirror, his reflection catching hers. A quiet familiarity between them, practiced and smooth. She remembered feeling something then—a warmth in her chest, steady and certain.
"You don’t remember?" her mother asked hopefully.
Yooyeon hesitated. Did she? The images were there, but they felt too crisp, too clean—like a story well-told, not a memory truly lived.
"I... I think I do. Little pieces."
Her mother brightened immediately. "See? It’s coming back! I always said true love leaves its mark on the soul, even if the mind forgets."
The words settled over her like a soft weight. True love.
With each story they shared, more pieces seemed to surface. Their first dance at a business gala. Weekend brunches with friends where they finished each other’s sentences. Vacation photos where they looked blissfully happy.
Each memory felt genuine—yet the edges of them blurred, like an oil painting smudged by an impatient hand.
She wanted to believe it. She wanted to be the woman they spoke of, the one who had been so deeply in love.
But wasn’t love supposed to feel more certain than this?
The nurse entered with her discharge papers. "Mrs. Kim, you’re all set to leave. Your husband must be relieved—his wife is finally getting discharged."
His wife.
The words settled into the quiet room, lingering in the air longer than they should have.
She had heard it before—"your husband," "your loving marriage," "you were so happy together." Each time, the words had been spoken with certainty, as if they alone could fill the void in her memory.
But this felt different. Final. Binding.
Her fingers curled around the ring on her left hand. The metal was warm, familiar. She traced its shape, searching for something—anything—that felt like certainty.
She waited for the rush of emotion, the deep-seated knowing. It didn’t come.
Her mother squeezed her hand. “Your husband called while you were resting. He’ll be returning from his work trip this week.”
Yooyeon nodded, ignoring the flutter of something in her chest. Excitement? Anxiety? Or something else entirely?
As the elevator descended to the hospital lobby, her parents chatting excitedly beside her, Yooyeon let herself lean into the stories, into the warmth they promised.
If she reached for the love they spoke of, if she believed hard enough—would it become real?
Today, she was going home.
To them.
And maybe, just maybe, to the love she was supposed to remember.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You step into the familiar quiet of your home, and for a moment, it doesn’t feel real.
This place—this moment—was never supposed to happen like this.
You were supposed to come back with a clearer mind, with the weight of your feelings for Yooyeon finally worn down by distance and time. You had convinced yourself that being away, that drowning in work, was the right thing. You had nearly succeeded in quieting the ache of wanting her—of wanting something you were never meant to have.
But then the call came.
The accident. The words you never expected to hear. That she had lost her memories, that she couldn’t remember you.
And suddenly, the distance that was supposed to help you move on became unbearable.
You couldn’t leave. Couldn’t abandon your work, not when this deal had been months in the making. But you couldn’t call her either. You weren’t ready to hear her voice, to confirm with your own ears that she didn’t remember you. Instead, you asked about her indirectly—through doctors, through her parents. Keeping yourself just close enough to know she was okay, but far enough to not face the truth.
Now, you’re home. And for the first time since you left, you can’t avoid her anymore.
She’s in the living room when you step in, arranging flowers—an image so delicate, so carefully composed, that it stops you in your tracks. You never remembered her paying so much attention to things like this before.
“Welcome home,” she says, offering you a small smile. It’s polite, warm even, but there’s something unfamiliar about it. It’s measured, like she’s giving you exactly what she thinks you expect.
It throws you off.
She’s different, and yet—she’s not. She’s not an entirely new person, not a stranger. She’s still Yooyeon, but softened in ways she never was before. Less guarded, less sharp. And it terrifies you how easily she could slip into the version of her you used to dream about—the version that could have loved you back.
You clear your throat, setting down your luggage. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get back sooner.”
Her fingers still briefly over the petals. “It’s fine… they told me your trip was important.” Her voice is light, but there’s something beneath it. A hesitation. A quiet disappointment.
Then, softer, almost to herself, “We could’ve at least talked on the phone.”
Your chest tightens. You don’t know if she’s saying it because she wanted to talk to you or because she thinks it’s something she should say.
“How have you been?” you ask, even though you already know. You know what the doctors have said, what her parents have told you. But you need to hear it from her.
She launches into a recounting of her recovery—how she’s been adjusting, how her parents have practically hovered over her. But as she speaks, something feels off. Her words are careful, almost rehearsed, as if she’s reading from a script someone gave her.
And it hits you—she is following a script.
She’s trying to fit into the life everyone says she had. Trying to be the person they tell her she used to be.
The realization unsettles you.
It should be easy to draw the line. You told yourself, over and over, that this marriage had given you nothing but a lingering ache. That whatever warmth you once felt had long since dulled into something muted, tolerable. Maybe this is the clean break you need—the perfect excuse to finally move on without guilt.
But instead, all the walls you’ve built, the callousness you spent months forging, begin to crack.
You watch her—this version of Yooyeon, untouched by old wounds and past hesitations—and wonder.
Is this a curse? Or is this the only chance you’ll ever have to hold onto something that was never truly yours?
Later, over lunch, the air between you still carries an odd tension—not uncomfortable, just… unfamiliar. You catch yourself hesitating before speaking, unsure which parts of your shared past she still holds onto and which have slipped through the cracks.
"Do you remember the trip to Busan?" you ask, testing again, reaching for a thread of the past.
Yooyeon blinks, her brows knitting together. "Busan…?"
"The conference," you remind her. "Last year. You spent half the time making fun of that presenter’s slides."
She lets out a small laugh but shakes her head. "I don’t remember that at all. But it does sound like something I’d do."
There’s a beat of silence, then a quiet chuckle from both of you—awkward, but not entirely unpleasant.
"Tell me about it?" she asks, tilting her head, curiosity flickering in her eyes. "I want to know what kind of person I was."
The question throws you off guard, though you’re not sure why. Maybe it’s the vulnerability in her voice, the quiet plea to be filled in on the version of herself that she’s lost.
You hesitate, then exhale softly. "You were—" You stop, correcting yourself. "You are sharp. Witty. You never let anyone get away with nonsense."
She smiles at that, as if it reassures her. "That’s good to hear."
Bit by bit, the stiffness fades.
By evening, it’s different. The space between you, once uncertain, feels smoother, more fluid. It’s not the same as before, but in some ways, it’s easier. Lighter.
Yooyeon touches you more. Small, fleeting gestures—her fingers brushing against yours when she hands you a plate, resting a hand on your wrist when she asks a question, leaning into you slightly when you walk side by side. It’s nothing dramatic, nothing she seems to think twice about. But it’s different.
Before the accident, before the marriage, you thought of Yooyeon as a great friend—someone easy to talk to, someone who made life feel less heavy. When you agreed to the marriage, you thought maybe, just maybe, you were moving toward something more. At first, it seemed like it. The familiarity deepened, your feelings began to take shape, creeping in slowly, almost unnoticed. There were moments—glimpses of what could be—where it felt like the two of you were truly building something together.
But then, it stopped. Or maybe it just never went far enough. She was always there, yet just out of reach. She smiled at you, laughed with you, shared meals with you, but there was always a quiet hesitation in her, an invisible wall she never dared to cross. You wanted more. You wanted to pull her closer, to make her see what you were feeling, but something kept holding you back. Kept holding her back.
Your love for her didn’t fade—it grew. And the more it grew, the more it hurt.
You lived together, spent your days and nights side by side, yet the gap between you remained. A happy marriage, but never quite content. Companions, but never quite lovers.
And now? Now she’s changed. Now, that boundary is gone—not in the way you once wished it would be, but in a way that feels almost unreal. Like something delicate and fleeting, something that shouldn’t be yours to hold.
You don’t comment on it.
You tell yourself it’s just her way of adjusting, of seeking comfort in something familiar.
So you play along.
As the evening drags on, you feel her eyes on you constantly, but there’s no familiar ease to it. No comfort. It’s as if she’s studying you, trying to figure out the person she’s married to, trying to place you into this new reality where you don’t fit. You catch her refilling your water glass before you even ask, adjusting your collar just slightly, even suggesting things she thinks will please you—asking how the trip went, what you did, if you’re tired. Every move she makes feels calculated, like she’s not trying to be the woman you married, but the woman she thinks you expect her to be.
Her actions are all wrapped in politeness and care, but it feels like a performance. You’re a stranger to her now, and she’s just trying to fit the role she believes she has to play.
You can’t help but wonder, does she even know who you are anymore?
After dinner, Yooyeon sets her chopsticks down and looks at you expectantly. “Can we watch some videos?” she asks.
You blink. “Videos?”
“Our wedding, maybe? Or just… us?” She hesitates, twirling a strand of her hair between her fingers. “I want to see. I want to remember.”
You don’t answer right away. Something about the request unsettles you, but you don’t know why.
She watches you carefully, waiting. And for some reason, you find yourself nodding.
Minutes later, you’re both sitting on the couch as the TV screen flickers to life. The first video plays—a montage of your wedding day. The ceremony, the smiles, the laughter. The perfect image of a couple in love.
Yooyeon watches intently, her gaze scanning the screen like she’s trying to etch every second into her mind. “I remember this part,” she murmurs when the camera captures her slipping the ring onto your finger. “I was so nervous.”
You glance at her. “Were you?”
She nods, eyes still locked on the screen. “I kept worrying I’d drop the ring. But you… you looked so calm.” She tilts her head, studying the way you held her hand in the video. “Did you feel nervous?”
You almost laugh. “No. It was just a formality, I was rushing for the event to be over.”
The words sit between you, stark and unfiltered.
Yooyeon doesn’t flinch. Instead, she hums thoughtfully. “Still. We looked happy.”
You don’t answer.
The video shifts to another clip—your honeymoon. A trip spent half in public, playing the roles expected of you, and half in quiet companionship behind closed doors.
“You remember this?” you ask, testing her again.
She pauses. “Not all of it,” she admits. “But some parts… they feel familiar.”
She leans into your side, her body warm against yours.
You hadn’t noticed when it happened, but somehow, Yooyeon ended up nestled against you, her head resting lightly against your shoulder, your arm loosely draped around her. The closeness should feel foreign—it never used to be like this—but strangely, it isn’t.
It feels natural. Too natural.
On the screen, the version of you from the past smiles at her, something soft in his expression that even you don’t quite recognize.
Yooyeon shifts slightly in your arms, tilting her head up to look at you.
Your breath catches.
She’s close. Closer than she should be.
The glow of the screen casts soft shadows over her face, highlighting the curve of her lips, the quiet intent in her eyes. The air between you grows heavy, charged with something neither of you acknowledges.
And then she moves.
Her lips press against yours—gentle, seeking. A quiet, hesitant question in the form of a kiss.
Your body reacts before your mind does.
You’d spent months trying to forget, convincing yourself that this love was better buried.
And yet, here you were—undoing everything in a single moment.
You kiss her back.
Before your kisses could get any deeper, she breaks it off.
“I— I should probably take a shower…” her breath heavy. “Before we continue…” she muttered almost a whisper. As she runs towards your room.
The warmth of her lips still lingers on yours as Yooyeon stumbles away, her words barely registering in your mind. Your pulse is erratic, breath unsteady as she disappears into the bathroom. The sound of running water fills the space, but your thoughts are too tangled to process anything else.
You exhale sharply, running a hand through your hair. What just happened?
The weight of her kiss, the way her body fit against yours—it felt inevitable, like something long overdue.
Minutes pass, stretching endlessly until the water finally stops. The door creaks open, and for a brief moment, you catch a glimpse of her silhouette before she vanishes into your room, wrapped in nothing but a towel.
Your heart is still racing as you push yourself off the couch. The air feels thick, charged with an energy you don’t know how to name.
The shower is quick, the cold water doing little to calm the storm inside you. Even as you dry off, the memory of her touch lingers—her warmth, her scent, the way she looked at you before she kissed you.
Steeling yourself, you step into your bedroom.
And then—you freeze.
Yooyeon lies on your bed, the blanket pooling around her bare shoulders, exposing smooth skin bathed in the dim light. Her damp hair spills over the pillows, dark strands curling at the ends.
Your throat goes dry.
She watches you, her expression unreadable, lips parted slightly as if caught between hesitation and expectation.
Then it hits you.
Under that sheet, Yooyeon is completely naked.
And so are you.
The towel slips from your fingers, falling soundlessly to the floor. Her gaze follows the movement, trailing over your body before flickering away when it lands lower—shyness warring with curiosity.
You move closer, sitting at the edge of the bed. Your hand reaches out, fingers brushing against the soft fabric of the blanket. Slowly, deliberately, you peel it back, unveiling inch after inch of her bare skin.
First, her collarbones, delicate and defined.
Then her breasts, supple, rising and falling with her breath.
Your eyes trace the gentle slope of her stomach, the way it tenses slightly under your gaze.
And then, finally, the last of the blanket falls away, revealing the most intimate part of her.
You pause, drinking her in—every curve, every detail, the sheer vulnerability of this moment.
She is beautiful.
You remind yourself not to rush. To take your time.
Slowly, calmly, you lean in, capturing her lips in a kiss—soft at first, testing, savoring. Her breath hitches, but she doesn’t pull away. Instead, she melts into you, her hands trailing up your back, fingertips pressing lightly as if urging you closer.
The kiss deepens.
Your tongues meet, a slow, intoxicating dance. Her taste lingers on your lips, warm and sweet. You tug at her tongue, coaxing it out, teasing, savoring every second before finally breaking apart, breathless.
Both of you pant for air, foreheads pressed together, heat radiating between you. Then, you feel it—Yooyeon’s hand wrapping around your length, her touch light at first, then firmer, stroking you, making you harder than you already are.
You tense, instinctively pulling back for a second, startled by the sudden contact. Her eyes flicker with confusion, but you don’t explain. Instead, you press forward, shifting your focus.
Your lips trail down her body, kissing her skin, feeling the way she trembles beneath you. Her quiet moans spill out as you kiss along her side, then lower, past her navel.
You don’t linger. You know she’s already wet.
Positioning yourself between her legs, you part them, revealing her.
“Yooyeon… can I?” Your voice is low, thick with need.
She nods, her gaze heavy-lidded, filled with anticipation.
You lean in, your tongue sliding against her folds, tasting her, teasing her. She gasps, back arching slightly, her moans growing louder as you work her with slow, deliberate strokes. You take your time, letting each flick, each swirl of your tongue build her pleasure.
You feel her body loosening, her walls softening around your touch. Taking it as your cue, you push your tongue inside, warmth enveloping you as her arousal coats your mouth. She’s overflowing, her body giving in to pleasure.
Her legs clamp around your head, a sharp gasp escaping her lips. Fingers tangle in your hair, grasping tightly as her moans turn desperate, erratic.
You hold her thighs apart, refusing to let her escape. The way she writhes beneath you, the way her voice rises with each stroke of your tongue—it only fuels you. Her pleasure feeds your hunger.
You pick up the pace, teasing and flicking against her sensitive bud. She cries out, hands gripping the sheets, her body arching as the sensation overwhelms her.
Then, without warning, you push your tongue back inside, not giving her a moment’s reprieve. Her moans turn to breathless, broken sounds, her mind too lost in the pleasure to form words.
"Fuh…Ah—Nnn… fuah!!!"
Her body tenses, muscles locking up as the pressure builds. Her legs tremble, stretching outward, her hands pressing against your head, trying to ground herself. Her back arches high, head tilting back as the wave finally crashes over her.
And you don’t stop—drawing out every last pulse of her release, savoring the way her body trembles beneath you.
But your hunger isn't satisfied.
Even though she’s already drenched, already ready, you want more.
Moving back up, you claim her breast, taking a hardened peak into your mouth. Your tongue swirls around it, sucking, teasing, while your hands knead her softness, fingers flicking and pinching in tandem with your lips. You alternate between gentle licks and sharp bites against her sensitive tips, drawing a sharp gasp from her lips.
A loud moan escapes her, her back arching.
Your eyes flick up, catching the way her head tilts, her neck exposed—a silent invitation.
You answer it immediately, trailing kisses along her skin, feeling her pulse quicken beneath your lips. Each press of your mouth sends another shiver through her, her body reacting to every touch.
But you need more.
Your lips find hers again, and before you can even take the lead, she’s already parting her mouth, welcoming you, her tongue eagerly meeting yours.
The kiss deepens, slow and consuming, both of you losing yourselves in the heat of it.
And then—another moan escapes her, breaking the kiss.
Your tip presses against her, teasing her entrance.
You don’t stop. Instead, you return to her lips, deepening the kiss as you rub your length along her slick folds, coating yourself in her arousal.
Her moans sync with each slow, deliberate movement, her body shuddering beneath you. Her hands cradle your face, fingers gliding over your skin, smearing the mess of your mixed saliva as she pulls you in closer.
Your lips part, but your tongues remain locked in their heated dance, unwilling to separate—until she finally pushes you back, breathless.
"Dear… it’s enough… ah!" she whispers between moans.
But is it?
Doubt lingers, and instead of answering, you dip back down, capturing her breast in your mouth, sucking lightly, flicking her sensitive tips with your tongue. She gasps, arching into you, her fingers tightening against your skin.
You trail back up, capturing her lips once more, silencing any protests. She parts her mouth as if to speak, but you don’t let her—your tongue claims hers again, drawing another muffled moan from her.
Finally, she pleads, her voice trembling with need.
"Please… put it in…"
You pull back slightly, your breathing ragged.
Is it really enough?
Your eyes search hers, questioning and hesitating. You want her completely—but only when she’s truly ready.
Then another thought crosses your mind: rubber. Hastily, you reach for the drawer, but before you can, her hand intercepts yours.
“Wait…” she says softly, holding out a condom. Her eyes sparkle with a mix of impatience and assurance. You know you’re supposed to use it, yet in this heated moment, the raw intensity of your desire makes you yearn for an unfiltered connection.
Clutching the condom in your hand, you feel that inner battle between safety and passion. In one impulsive moment, you decide—raw is what you need. With deliberate urgency, you press yourself against her, entering her without delay.
“Ahnnn…” escapes her lips as she welcomes you. Every thrust is met with her rising moans—a rhythmic symphony that spurs you on.
Your hand slides up to her breast, massaging and flicking it, alternating between gentle licks and teasing bites along her sensitive nipple. The sound of her moans draws your attention to the delicate curve of her neck, where your lips trail a fiery path of kisses.
Her insides grow warmer and more intense with each movement, wrapping around you, pulling you deeper into the moment. Sensing that the intensity might soon overwhelm both of you, you briefly pull back—tearing open the condom wrapper with a mix of urgency and hesitation.
You withdraw slightly, and she moans in response. The pause makes you acutely aware of how close you both are to the edge. Desperate not to lose the rhythm, you fumble to put the condom on again.
Sensing your hurry—and perhaps sharing in your urgency—her hand reaches out, deftly fitting the condom for you. Without missing a beat, she guides your length back to her welcoming embrace. Your body re-enters her, and you murmur her name, “Yooyeon.”
“I'm about to cum,” you confess in a low, husky tone, “but… is it okay?”
She meets your gaze with a smile and a nod of encouragement, “Yes… do it whenever you like.”
Emboldened, you resume your pace, each thrust growing more rapid as your kisses overlap with her soft moans. The sight of her—flushed and panting, eyes half-closed in bliss, strands of hair clinging to her flushed skin—drives you closer to your limit. You grip her waist tightly as her arms cradle your head, locking you together in a passionate embrace.
You feel your release building rapidly. Her hips rise to meet your every thrust as she arches her back, her body moving in perfect rhythm with yours. In a final, desperate surge, your finger finds her clit, adding one last burst of stimulation to the electric mix of pleasure.
“No—… Not—There—” she gasps breathlessly as her body twists with the overwhelming sensations.
"I’m—cumming—cumming… Ah!!!" she cries, and in that climactic moment, both of you shatter under the intensity of your shared release.
Her body convulses as waves of heat and pleasure surge through her, each pulse sending shudders down her spine. The sheets beneath you seem to ripple with the force of your climax, every fiber of your being alive with raw ecstasy. You feel her muscles tighten around you, an unspoken invitation to surrender completely to the overwhelming sensation.
Exhausted yet exhilarated, you collapse beside her, your heads turning to face each other. Her expression radiates satisfaction and joy as she softly calls your name. Gently, she plants a kiss on your lips, then on your forehead, and finally on your nose—each tender gesture sealing the memory of your shared passion.
As her eyes close and she nestles into your embrace, you both drift in the afterglow—a raw, unforgettable moment of intimacy that lingers long after the night fades.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yooyeon stirred awake to the warmth of a steady heartbeat beneath her cheek, her fingers curled lightly against his bare chest. His arms were still around her, firm yet relaxed, holding her in a way that made her feel safe. Wanted. Loved.
A quiet smile ghosted her lips as she let herself sink into the moment.
Last night had been…
Her cheeks flushed at the memory—her own boldness, the way she had moved on instinct, the way his touch had set fire to every inch of her skin. She hadn’t thought too deeply about it at the time. She had simply acted on a feeling—a feeling that told her she wanted him, wanted to be close to him in the most intimate way.
And she had been right.
Being with him had felt good, natural. She felt satisfied, happy, content in a way that only reaffirmed everything she had come to believe since waking up in this life—she loved him.
She was sure of it.
The realization sent a quiet thrill through her. She had been nervous, hesitant, unsure if her memories would ever return, but last night had proven that love didn’t need memories to exist. She felt it in the way she craved his presence, in the warmth that filled her chest when he looked at her.
Yooyeon shifted slightly, pressing closer to him, breathing in the faint scent of him—clean, comforting, familiar.
But then his voice cut through the soft haze of her thoughts.
“That was… unexpected,” he murmured, his fingers absentmindedly tracing slow circles on her back.
She blinked, tilting her head up to meet his gaze. “Unexpected?”
He hesitated, just for a second. Then, with a careful smile, he said, “It’s been a while.”
A while.
The words settled in her mind, stirring something she didn’t quite understand. Of course, it had been a while—she had only woken up to this life weeks ago. But his tone, the way his hand tightened slightly around her waist, made her feel like it was more than that. Like this distance between them wasn’t just from her accident, but something older.
She wanted to ask—why had it been so long?
But the words never left her lips. It wasn’t hard to imagine why. Their relationship was complicated. She might not remember everything, but she could sense it—the hesitance in his touch, the way he always seemed to be holding back, like there was something unspoken between them.
Maybe that was just how marriage worked. Maybe love wasn’t always constant, but something that came and went.
Still, as she rested her head against his chest, the thought lingered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At first, it unsettles you.
The way Yooyeon moves around you so effortlessly, the way she reaches for your hand without hesitation, the way she speaks to you with such natural affection—it’s disorienting.
She doesn’t remember.
She doesn’t remember that your marriage was built on something practical, something strategic. She doesn’t remember that love was never part of the equation.
And yet, she looks at you like it is.
Like it always has been.
You catch yourself hesitating around her more often than not. There’s a strange discomfort in knowing something she doesn’t, in feeling the weight of the truth pressing against your ribs every time she smiles at you. You should tell her. You should set things straight.
But you don’t.
Instead, you find yourself falling into the rhythm of her new version of your life together.
You wake up with her in your arms, and you don’t pull away.
You sit together for breakfast, and when she instinctively places a peeled orange slice on your plate, you take it without thinking.
You come home from work to find her waiting, sometimes with dinner already prepared, other times with stories of her day, filling the house with a warmth that never quite existed before.
And slowly, day by day, you stop resisting.
You settle into married life again—but this time, without hesitation.
She reaches for you first. She falls asleep in your arms, waking up smiling at you like it’s the most natural thing in the world. The distance that once defined your relationship is gone, replaced by something warm, something dangerously easy to believe in.
You let yourself fall into the illusion.
One evening, as you sit in the living room, Yooyeon is curled up beside you, flipping through an old photo album she found while reorganizing the shelves.
“Oh,” she says, her fingers tracing over a picture. “I remember this one.”
You glance over. It’s from a ski trip, a company retreat you attended together two winters ago. She had nearly sprained her wrist trying to prove she could keep up with the more experienced skiers. You had ended up guiding her down the slope, an arm around her waist, both of you laughing as she barely managed to stay upright.
“You do?” you ask, cautious.
“Sort of,” she hums. “It’s faint. More like… I remember how I felt.”
You watch her quietly. “And how did you feel?”
She turns to you with a small smile. “Happy.”
Your chest tightens.
There are other moments, too—soft, fleeting, but impossible to ignore.
Nights spent in the kitchen, cooking together, bumping into each other as you move around the stove. She steals bites of whatever you’re preparing, grinning at you when you feign irritation.
Late-night talks, lying in bed with the lights off, her voice quiet but filled with warmth as she tells you about all the things she wants to do, all the places she wants to see. And for the first time, you let yourself imagine being there with her.
She steals kisses—teasingly, playfully, like you’ve always been in love. A kiss on the cheek as she passes by, a lingering press of her lips to yours just before bed. At first, it startles you, but then you start to expect it. Crave it.
And before you realize it, you start kissing her back.
You begin to dream of a life where this isn’t just a lie.
Another time, during dinner, she asks a question you aren’t prepared for.
“What was our first date like?”
You pause, chopsticks hovering midair. “Our first date?”
She nods eagerly, resting her chin in her hand. “I was thinking about it earlier. I tried to remember, but I couldn’t, so… tell me.”
You exhale slowly, setting your chopsticks down. A smile tugs at your lips, unbidden. “You don’t remember sneaking out of that charity banquet when we were seventeen and eating instant ramen at a convenience store?”
Her eyes widen in surprise before a small, delighted laugh escapes her. “That was a date?”
“You called it one,” you say, smirking. “Said it was the best meal you ever had.”
She hums, thoughtful, before grinning. “I must’ve been charming back then.”
“You still are,” you murmur without thinking.
Her expression softens. Then she tilts her head playfully. “That’s cute, but I meant a real date. You know—one where we both knew what it was.”
You hesitate, because you know what she’s really asking.
There was never a first date in the way she’s imagining—no sweet, nervous anticipation, no deliberate choice to step into something romantic. Your relationship had always been tangled in something more complicated.
But now, as she looks at you with expectation, her fingers absentmindedly toying with the edge of her napkin, you find yourself saying—
“Then let’s have one.”
She blinks. “What?”
“A first date,” you say simply, watching her reaction. “One you can remember.”
Her face brightens, eyes gleaming with something warm, something real. “Okay,” she says, smiling. “Let’s do it.”
And for the first time in a long time, you let yourself believe that maybe—just maybe—this doesn’t have to be a lie.
You don’t realize when you stop overthinking things.
When she slides her hand into yours while walking through a park, you don’t flinch.
When she leans against you while watching a movie, you don’t stiffen.
When she laughs at something you say, her whole face lighting up, you don’t look away.
And one day, you catch yourself smiling at her when she isn’t looking.
The feeling that stirs inside you is unfamiliar and familiar all at once.
Because the truth is—you’ve always had feelings for her.
You just never let yourself acknowledge them before.
But now, standing in the middle of a life that feels almost real, you wonder if this is a sign.
A sign that maybe, just maybe, you can start again.
And maybe—just maybe—you don’t have to tell her the truth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yooyeon stood in front of the mirror, carefully adjusting the delicate bracelet around her wrist. A soft hum of excitement bubbled in her chest as she checked her reflection one last time. Their first real date—the kind she had always dreamed of. She wanted today to be perfect. Not because it had to be, but because it already felt like it would be.
She had spent the past hour choosing the right outfit, something that felt effortless yet pretty, hoping he would notice. Hoping he would look at her the way she was starting to look at him.
By the time she stepped out of the bedroom, he was already waiting near the door. His gaze flickered over her, lingering just long enough for warmth to spread through her.
“You look nice,” he said simply, his voice softer than usual.
She grinned. “Only nice?”
He exhaled a small chuckle, shaking his head as if she was impossible. Then, more sincerely—“Beautiful.”
Her breath caught. She wanted to tease him, but the way he said it, like he meant it, left her speechless. Before she could find the words, he extended his hand.
A simple gesture. A quiet offering.
She took it without hesitation, her fingers slipping between his, fitting as if they belonged there. He gave her hand a small squeeze, and together, they stepped out into the world beyond their home.
The day unfolded like something out of a dream.
Their first stop was a small bakery-café, the kind nestled between old bookstores and cozy boutiques. It smelled like fresh bread and vanilla, warmth curling in the air like an embrace. Yooyeon picked a selection of pastries for them to share, carefully choosing the ones she thought he would like.
She watched with barely contained excitement as he took a bite of a strawberry tart.
“It’s good,” he admitted, chewing thoughtfully.
“Good?” She gasped, placing a dramatic hand over her chest. “This is art.”
His lips quirked into a smirk. “Alright, it’s art.”
Satisfied, she took her own bite, savoring the sweetness. The café was quiet, filled with the murmur of soft conversations and the gentle notes of a piano melody playing in the background. She found herself stealing glances at him, memorizing the rare ease in his expression, the way the afternoon sunlight kissed his skin.
For the first time in a long time, it felt like they weren’t pretending.
The movie theater was next. She had picked a lighthearted romantic comedy, wanting to keep the mood playful. He hadn’t protested, only giving her an unreadable glance when she insisted it would be fun.
It was.
She found herself laughing at the silliest scenes, and every now and then, when she peeked at him, she caught the faintest trace of amusement in his eyes. He wasn’t laughing outright, but he was watching her more than the movie, and somehow, that made her heart flutter more than anything on the screen.
At one point, when she reached for the popcorn, their hands brushed. Neither of them moved.
Slowly, he intertwined their fingers beneath the dim glow of the screen.
Her heart stuttered. She squeezed his hand lightly.
He squeezed back.
By afternoon, they had made their way to the park, where a small picnic awaited them. She had planned it in advance, packing simple homemade sandwiches and fresh fruit. The air was crisp, the sky stretching endlessly above them, and for a while, they simply enjoyed the peacefulness.
Yooyeon leaned against him, letting her head rest against his shoulder. He didn’t move away. Instead, his hand found its way into her hair, his fingers brushing through it absentmindedly.
Her heart melted.
“I think this is the first time we’ve actually done something like this,” she murmured.
“Like what?”
“Spent a whole day together… just being a normal couple.”
He was quiet for a moment. Then, in a voice so low she almost missed it—
“Yeah.”
She smiled, closing her eyes for a brief second, savoring the warmth of him. The world felt quieter like this. Like it had shrunk to just the two of them, existing in a space untouched by the past.
She wanted to stay in this moment forever.
Night had fallen by the time they reached their final stop—a quiet hill overlooking the cityscape. From afar, the lights twinkled like stars, stretching far beyond what the eye could see. The air was cool, crisp against her skin, but standing beside him, she barely noticed.
“I used to come here alone sometimes,” he admitted, his voice softer, more open. “Just to think.”
Yooyeon turned to him, searching his face. “And now?”
He looked at her then—really looked at her. As if seeing her for the first time. As if realizing something he hadn’t before.
“Now, I think I’d rather share it with you.”
Her breath hitched.
The moment stretched between them, delicate and charged.
Without thinking, she stepped closer, lifting a hand to his cheek, her thumb brushing over his skin. He didn’t pull away. Instead, he tilted his head slightly, leaning into her touch, like it was something he had been waiting for.
Her gaze flickered to his lips.
The tension thickened, the world around them fading until there was nothing left but the space between them.
She moved first, closing the distance, pressing her lips to his in a kiss so soft, so tender, it felt like a secret. He inhaled sharply against her mouth, his hands finding her waist, pulling her closer.
The kiss deepened, slow and consuming, filled with something warm and terrifyingly sweet.
When they finally pulled apart, they were both breathless. He pressed his forehead against hers, eyes closed as if grounding himself.
“Maybe we should go home,” he murmured, voice husky.
Yooyeon nodded, still dazed. “Yeah.”
He took her hand again, this time holding it a little tighter as they made their way back.
And deep down, she knew—tonight wasn’t over just yet.
The drive home is quiet, but not tense. Her fingers remain laced with yours the entire way, her grip firm—like she’s afraid you’ll disappear if she lets go. You don’t say anything about it. You just hold on.
By the time you step through the door, the house feels different. Warmer, despite the lingering shadows. It’s strange how just her presence can make it feel like home again.
Neither of you turn on the lights. There’s no need. The dim glow from the night city lights outside is enough to guide you through the familiar space. Without a word, you both make your way to the bedroom, as if some unspoken understanding pulls you forward.
And now—here you are.
Sitting side by side at the edge of the bed, your hands still loosely linked. The weight of the night settles over you, thick with all the words that haven’t been spoken yet.
You steal a glance at her, only to find her already looking at you. There’s something different in her eyes tonight—not just longing, not just resolve, but something deeper. Something that makes your breath catch.
You thought you had lost her. And maybe, in a way, you did. But now she’s here, choosing you—not because of old memories, not because of a past you held onto alone, but because of now.
And that’s when it hits you.
You had loved her before. Loved her in quiet ways, in restrained touches, in the unspoken words that always hovered on the tip of your tongue. But now—now, you’ve fallen again. Harder. Deeper.
She tilts her head slightly, waiting. For you to speak, for you to move, for you to reassure her that this isn’t a mistake.
You exhale, threading your fingers through hers, squeezing once. “Yooyeon…”
Her name feels different when you say it this time—like something new and familiar all at once.
She smiles, small but real, and she pressed her lips against you.
And just like that, you fall all over again.
She pulls away, her lips barely parting from yours as she searches your face. There’s warmth in her gaze, a quiet certainty that makes your chest tighten. Then, she smiles—soft, unwavering.
You cradle her face in your hands, and she leans into your touch, her eyes fluttering shut for a moment as if memorizing the feel of you.
You kiss her again. This time, there’s no hesitation—just slow, unhurried intimacy, deepening with every passing second.
Her hands rest lightly against your chest, fingers curling slightly against the fabric of your shirt. You can feel her heartbeat, unsteady yet eager, mirroring your own.
Your hand slides up the smooth curve of her thigh, fingers ghosting over her soft skin before slipping under the hem of her skirt. She shudders but doesn’t pull away—if anything, she presses closer, her breath coming faster, anticipation thick in the space between you.
Your lips break apart just as her gaze flickers down—drawn to the movement of your hand between her legs. She knows what’s coming. She wants it.
Without hesitation, your fingers slip beneath her panties, gliding over her soaked heat. A slow, teasing stroke along her slit makes her breath hitch, her thighs twitching in response. You find her clit, circling it with deliberate pressure, and she gasps—soft at first, then louder as your touch grows bolder.
Her head drops onto your shoulder, her body sagging into you, surrendering. You let your free hand tangle in her hair, stroking her, keeping her close as she clings to your other arm. Her grip tightens whenever you rub just right, her body reacting instinctively, desperately.
She’s soaked now, dripping, her slickness coating your fingers as you ease one inside her. She tenses, then relaxes, her walls fluttering around you as you curl your finger, testing, teasing.
“Hnnng…” A breathy moan spills from her lips, her body trembling against yours.
She leans into you, eyes wide and desperate as they lock onto yours—raw, pleading, and hungry for more. You can tell she’s craving every inch of this moment, and you’re more than ready to deliver.
“Can... can I—like, you... lie down?” she asks shyly, her voice low and breathy.
“Sure,” you reply, a mix of confusion and intrigue in your tone as you both head for the bed. Once there, she starts undressing, and you watch, not quite sure what she’s planning.
“Should I... too?” you ask with a playful smirk.
“Ye—yes,” she stammers, her voice thick with anticipation.
Before long, you’re shedding your shirt, pants, and boxers, leaving you completely bare as you wait for Yooyeon to finish. With a final, deliberate move, she slips off her soaked panties, revealing everything. Her eyes linger hungrily on your throbbing package, and after a deep, steadying breath, she crawls over and positions herself on top of you.
Meeting your gaze, she confesses, “It’s because... last time, you teased me way too much,” her cheeks flushing with both embarrassment and desire.
Before you can even reach out for a cuddle, her hand finds your cock, stroking it with a confident, teasing rhythm.
“Yooyeon...” you murmur, barely above a whisper.
Without missing a beat, she shifts so that her dripping, slick pussy meets your throbbing tip. Her natural juices make every touch wet and irresistible.
“Hnnng…” she breathes as she slowly pushes down on you, her warm, inviting opening taking you in inch by inch. Her body settles over yours, fully engulfing you as she adjusts to the sensation.
Then. Her hips start moving—first slow and deliberate, then quickening into a relentless, pulsing rhythm. The heat of her body surrounds you as she rides you hard, every thrust drawing you deeper into a night of raw, unfiltered passion.
“I can feel it twitch…” she breathes, her voice husky as she asks, “Do—does it feel good?”
“Yeah, Yooyeon… it feels amazing,” you reply, your words thick with desire.
Your lips collide, entangling in a deep, fervent kiss as your fingers cradle her cheeks. The kiss intensifies, every touch stoking the fire between you. Rising slightly, she quickens her pace—her desperation unmistakable as she chases her own pleasure.
Before long, exhaustion begins to claim her, and her movements slow; yet even as she gasps for air, her hips remain insistent, grinding slowly despite her fatigue. Sensing an unspoken urge, you murmur, “Yooyeon, there’s something I want to try,” offering an excuse in case she’s too shy to ask outright.
A quick nod is all you need. You reposition her gently to your side, guiding her so that her head rests on your arm. With her back to you, you slide into her again, savoring the fresh angle as both your rhythms realign. Her moans return, matching the new, steady pace that builds once more.
As your hands explore, hers finds yours, fingers interlocking tightly as the intensity escalates. Your other hand wanders over her breasts, teasing her hardened nipples with every deliberate stroke. “I’m—I'm close,” Yooyeon confesses, her voice trembling with anticipation.
Noticing her gaze drifting back to you, you grasp her chin and pull her into another searing kiss, your tongues dancing together. Shifting once again, you climb atop her, pressing her flat against the bed as you prepare to drive her to the edge. “I’m close too,” you murmur between kisses, the admission fusing your sensations into one.
The pace quickens; her moans grow louder, her movements erratic as both your breaths come in ragged bursts. The heat between you becomes almost unbearable, every thrust and every touch amplifying the approaching climax. “Cum with me… please,” she pleads, her voice raw with need.
In that electrifying moment, her body convulses in overwhelming pleasure. You feel your own climax surge through you as you pull away, releasing your heated burst onto her back. The space between you, though charged with the remnants of passion, holds the echo of every gasp, every moan, and every shared moment of unbridled ecstasy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lying in bed, Yooyeon feels the warmth of his arm draped over her waist, the steady rise and fall of his chest against her back. The room is dim, the only light coming from the soft glow of the city outside. She should be at peace, comforted by his presence—yet something gnaws at her, an unease she can’t quite place.
She traces slow circles on the back of his hand with her fingertips, a habit that feels instinctual, familiar, though she can’t remember why. The motion soothes her, but the ache in her chest lingers. Without thinking, she murmurs,
“You always used to hate holding hands.”
His entire body stiffens.
She feels it instantly—the tension in his muscles, the way his breath halts for a split second before resuming, just a little too controlled.
She blinks, turning to look at him. His face is carefully blank, but she knows better now. Knows enough to recognize the way his guard snaps into place.
“…Didn’t you?” she presses, searching his face for an answer.
He exhales slowly, withdrawing his hand. “I don’t remember saying that.”
But she knows he does.
Her memories aren’t whole—just flickers, shadows of something real but unreachable. Yet, in those fragments, there’s a truth she can’t ignore.
She starts noticing it more—the subtle moments when he pulls away. The slight hesitation before he responds to her touch. The darkness in his eyes when she speaks too easily of their love.
And it starts to hurt.
One night, the weight of it all crashes into her. “Why do you act like this?” she asks, voice trembling. “Like you’re afraid of me?”
His expression hardens. “I’m not.”
“You are,” she insists, stepping closer. “I see it in your eyes. Every time I talk about us, about our past, you look at me like—” Her throat tightens. “Like you’re waiting for something to fall apart.”
His jaw clenches. He looks away. “Yooyeon, drop it.”
But she can’t. She won’t.
“Why did we choose the beach?” she asks suddenly, searching his face for the truth she feels slipping through her fingers.
His arm stiffens around her shoulders. “You wanted something grand.”
No. The memory surfaces, unbidden. I wanted it small. Private. Just us.
His gaze is raw, almost pained, as if she’s a ghost he can’t touch. When she reaches for him, he hesitates—a heartbeat too long—before brushing a kiss to her temple.
Something inside her cracks.
The fear she’s been trying to suppress rises to the surface, wrapping around her throat, making it hard to breathe. She needs to hear it. Needs him to say it.
“Did you love me from the start?” she whispers in bed that night, her palm flat against his chest, feeling the erratic rhythm of his heartbeat.
He goes still. Seconds stretch into something unbearable before he answers,
“Yes.”
But it’s the wrong kind of yes—heavy with guilt, not devotion.
She sits up, the sheets pooling around her. “Then why does it feel like you’re lying to me?”
His jaw tightens. Moonlight catches the sheen of sweat at his temple.
“Yooyeon—”
“Tell me the truth.” Her voice cracks. “Please.”
He turns away, his silhouette rigid against the night. “You’re still recovering. We shouldn’t—”
“Stop treating me like I’ll break!” The words burst out sharper than she intends. When she grabs his wrist, he flinches.
He actually flinches.
Her breath catches. “You… you’re scared of me.”
“No.” But his pulse is racing beneath her fingers.
“Then why won’t you look at me?” She cups his face, forcing his gaze to meet hers. What she sees there steals the air from her lungs—anguish, regret, something deeper, darker.
His voice is hoarse, barely above a whisper.
“Because when you remember everything… you’ll wish I hadn’t.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You notice it the moment you step inside.
The air feels different—thicker, colder, heavy in a way that has nothing to do with temperature. Some of the lights are off, casting the house in an eerie dimness, as if it were holding its breath.
And Yooyeon—she isn’t there to greet you.
That alone makes you pause. Even on days when she’s distracted, even when she’s lost in thought, she always turns at the sound of the door unlocking. Always lifts her head, always meets your gaze.
But tonight, she doesn’t.
Your chest tightens. You don’t even take off your coat before stepping further inside, following the faint glow of the living room lamp.
Then you see her.
She’s sitting on the couch, unnaturally still. Her hands rest in her lap as if she’s forcing them to stay there. But it’s her eyes that give her away—locked onto something on the table, unblinking.
A single sheet of paper.
Something prickles at the back of your neck.
“…Yooyeon.”
She flinches. It’s subtle, barely noticeable, but you catch it.
Then, like a switch, she turns to you, a smile flickering onto her lips—too practiced, too forced. “You’re home.”
Your gut twists. Something is wrong.
Still, you don’t press. You nod, greeting her quietly. She nods back, but her fingers tighten against the fabric of her dress, her nervousness seeping into you.
You tell yourself to let it go. To wait. If it’s important, she’ll bring it up.
So you step away, heading toward your home office. The silence follows you.
You place your briefcase down, reaching for the drawer to put away your documents—
—and stop.
The drawer is open.
Your heart stutters.
It shouldn’t be. You always keep it locked. You always make sure.
Your breath is shallow as your eyes lower—and then you see it.
The contract.
The one detailing everything. The terms of your marriage.
The proof of how pragmatic your relationship was.
The paper that stands in direct contrast to the warmth you’ve built with her now.
Your pulse pounds.
Yooyeon.
She saw it.
You’re moving before you can think, your footsteps brisk as you retrace your steps, each second stretching unbearably long.
When you step into the living room again, she’s already looking at you.
Panic. That’s what you see first. She opens her mouth, stumbling over her words, voice thin and desperate, like she’s trying to contain a flood. “I—I found it when I was cleaning. I didn’t mean to pry, I just—”
She stops, swallowing hard. Then, softer, like she already knows she won’t like the answer:
“…What does it mean?”
Your throat tightens.
The weight of it crashes between you, an invisible force pressing against your chest, against your ribs.
She knows.
She doesn’t know.
Not completely. Not yet. But she’s one breath away from understanding.
You could lie. You could say it was nothing. That it was just an old, forgotten document. You could keep pretending.
But you don’t.
Because the truth is already here, unraveling between you.
You exhale, stepping forward, your voice quiet, steady.
“Yooyeon… there’s something I need to tell you.”
The silence is suffocating.
Yooyeon doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t have to. You see it in her eyes. The confusion, the disbelief, the quiet, desperate hope that this isn’t what she thinks it is.
You wish you could spare her. Wish you could rewind to a moment before she found that damned contract, before she looked at you with that kind of fragile, breaking expression.
But you can’t.
So you force yourself to meet her gaze, force yourself to let the truth spill before it’s too late.
“Our marriage wasn’t… real. At least, not the way you think it was.”
Her breath catches.
You don’t look away. “It was arranged. A contract. Your parents and mine, they wanted us to marry. We went along with it.”
Her lips part, but no words come out. You can see the gears turning in her head, the memories she’s tried so hard to piece together now twisting into something cruel, something she never saw coming.
She swallows. “So… so you’re saying…” Her voice shakes. “It was all fake?”
Something twists in your chest.
“No,” you say immediately. Desperately. “No, I—” You drag a hand down your face, frustration clawing at you. “It wasn’t like that. Not for me.”
She flinches.
And that’s when it happens—the moment her heart breaks.
You can see it, feel it, the way her entire body tenses like she’s trying to hold herself together, but the cracks are already there, spreading, widening.
“…Every time you told me you loved me,” she whispers, “was it just part of the act?”
“Yooyeon.” Your voice is strained, pleading. “I didn’t lie about loving you. I just never had the courage to tell you the truth.”
She stares at you.
Then she lets out a quiet, shaky laugh—one that isn’t amused at all.
She takes a step back. Then another.
Your stomach drops.
She’s leaving.
You don’t know where, don’t know if she even has anywhere to go, but she’s walking away from you.
“Yooyeon, wait—”
She shakes her head. “I need to think.” Her voice is barely above a whisper. “I just… I need to think.”
Everything in you screams to stop her. To explain, to beg, to do anything but let her go.
But you don’t.
Instead, you inhale sharply and take a step back first.
“I’ll give you space,” you say, though it nearly kills you. “But don’t leave. Please.”
She hesitates.
You reach for her hand—just barely, just enough for her to know you would still hold on if she let you.
And finally, finally, she exhales, her shoulders dropping as if she’s too exhausted to fight anymore.
“…Okay,” she whispers.
She stays.
But the distance between you has never felt wider.
You exhale, slow and measured, though everything inside you is fraying at the edges.
“I’ll stay at a hotel,” you say, voice quiet but firm. “For as long as you need.”
Yooyeon doesn’t respond right away. She’s still looking at you like she doesn’t know who you are anymore. Like she’s seeing you for the first time and hating that she ever trusted you.
It’s unbearable.
“I don’t want you to feel trapped here,” you continue, forcing the words out despite the knot in your throat. “I don’t want you to think I’m keeping you in a place built on lies.”
Her breath stutters, but she quickly masks it. She’s still trying to be strong.
You wish she wouldn’t.
You wish she’d yell at you, cry, say something that doesn’t feel like an unbearable silence stretching between you.
“Okay,” she finally whispers.
You nod, forcing yourself to move. To walk away first, even when every instinct in you screams to stay.
But before you reach the door, her voice stops you.
“How long?”
You turn, eyes meeting hers.
“How long were you going to keep this from me?” she asks, arms wrapping around herself. “If I hadn’t found out… would you have ever told me?”
The truth is cruel, but it’s the only thing she deserves now.
“…I don’t know.”
Yooyeon swallows, then looks away.
That’s when you realize—you’ve broken something that might never be fixed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yooyeon wakes up alone.
The bed feels bigger now, colder, the silence stretching around her like an unwelcome embrace. She lies there for a moment, staring at the empty space beside her, before finally sitting up.
Another day.
She moves through the house like a ghost, her footsteps quiet, her routine unchanged—yet everything feels different. The kitchen table where they used to share quiet breakfasts, the couch where he used to sit, sifting through papers while she curled up beside him. It’s all the same, and yet it isn’t.
Because he’s not here.
He never called. Never came back.
She should be relieved. This is what she wanted, wasn’t it? Space. Time.
But instead, all she feels is this aching loneliness.
Her eyes fall to the coffee table, where the contract still sits, edges curled from how often she’s touched it, read it, searched it for something—anything—that could make this hurt less.
Each word, each line, feels heavier now. A binding agreement, an arrangement born from necessity. But as the days pass, as she reads it over and over, something in her shifts.
It was never just that.
Her mind drifts back to that night—his voice, raw with emotion.
"I didn’t lie about loving you. I just never had the courage to tell you the truth."
She remembers the way he looked at her, desperate, conflicted, afraid. She hadn’t been able to see it then, too consumed by the betrayal, by the weight of everything she didn’t know. But now, with time, with distance—
Hadn’t she felt the same way?
She rests a hand over the contract, fingers trembling slightly.
Her memories come in fragments. Unclear at first, like pieces of a puzzle she can’t quite fit together. But slowly—painfully, inevitably—they start to return.
She remembers loving him. Wanting him. Long before marriage was even a question.
They had been friends first, before their parents had forced them together. But she had never felt trapped, had never resented the idea. Because she had wanted it too.
She had been happy, at first. Happy at the opportunity to be something more, to step into a future where she could love him freely.
But then—she hesitated.
Fear had crept in, silencing her before she could say the words, before she could risk what they already had. She had told herself it was better this way. Safer.
And then—
The accident.
The memories she had lost. The love she had forgotten.
Yooyeon lets out a shaky breath, pressing her palm against her forehead.
She had already fallen for him before the marriage.
And now—she's not going to lose him again.
She already lost him once to her memories. She won’t let it happen a second time.
It doesn’t matter how it all started, doesn’t matter what had happened before. She had fallen for him before. More importantly is that she fell for him again.
She loves him. Now.
And that’s enough.
Her hands tighten around the contract for a moment before she exhales, setting it aside. She grabs her coat, her keys. She needs to see him.
She needs to fix this.
Without another thought, she heads for the door, heart pounding as she makes her way to his hotel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You weren’t expecting her.
Not tonight. Maybe not ever.
Days had passed, stretching into something unbearable, something you forced yourself to endure because it was what she needed. Space. Time. A chance to decide if she even wanted to come back.
You had told yourself you wouldn’t wait forever. That if she wanted to leave, you would let her. That you wouldn’t be selfish—not anymore.
But when the knock comes, sharp and hesitant against the hotel door, your heart betrays you.
You open it, and there she is.
Yooyeon stands in the dim hallway, arms wrapped around herself, eyes flickering with uncertainty. Her hair is slightly damp, as if she’d rushed here without thinking twice. Her lips part, as if searching for something to say—something to explain why she’s here at all.
But then she steps forward.
Her hands reach for you first, fingers curling into your shirt, and before you can ask, before you can even breathe—
She kisses you.
It’s not careful. Not hesitant. Not like before.
It’s deep, unrestrained, filled with something desperate and aching, like she’s trying to grasp something that’s always felt just out of reach.
You’re stunned. For half a second, your body locks up—because how could you have prepared for this? For her? For the way she clings to you, pressing herself close like she’s afraid to let go?
And then you give in.
Your arms wrap around her, pulling her fully into you, returning the kiss with everything you’ve held back for too long.
She came back.
She wants this.
When she finally pulls away, her forehead rests against yours, breaths mingling in the small space between you. “I don’t want to remember a love we pretended to have.” Her voice is quiet, steady despite the way her fingers tremble against your chest. “I want to love you for real.”
The words hit harder than you expect.
You swallow, pressing your lips together, hands tightening at her waist. “Are you sure?”
Her answer is immediate. “Yes.”
And that’s all you need.
You don’t know how you make it to the bed. Only that she doesn’t let go. That every step, every kiss, every touch feels like something slipping back into place—like something that had always been there, waiting to be found.
She’s warm against you, tucked under the sheets, her body curled into yours as if she belongs there.
And maybe she does.
Her head rests against your chest, fingers playing absently with the fabric of your shirt. She’s quiet, but not distant. Not like before.
You hesitate, then run a hand down her back, slow, deliberate. She shivers, but doesn’t pull away.
“I thought I lost you,” you admit, voice low in the quiet.
She shifts, tilting her head up to meet your gaze. In the dim light, her eyes are soft, filled with something painfully tender.
“I won’t leave you,” she murmurs.
You inhale sharply.
She presses her hand against your chest, right where your heartbeat pounds—steady, strong.
“Not again.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Their steps were slow, unhurried, yet every kiss, every touch, pulled them further inside, as if gravity itself was drawing them together. Yooyeon wasn’t even sure who was leading. It didn’t matter. Between soft sighs and the heat of his hands on her waist, guiding her closer, she only realized they had reached the bed when the backs of her knees met the edge.
She looked up at him, breathless, her pulse thrumming with anticipation. There was no hesitation this time, no uncertainty. Just them.
She kissed him again, rising onto her toes to meet him, her lips warm and insistent. He responded without pause, deepening the kiss, his hands steady on her waist as he pulled her closer. The sensation of him, solid and warm, sent a shiver racing down her spine.
Then, he pulled away just enough to rise above her, his gaze heavy with intent. Yooyeon’s breath caught, her skin buzzing with anticipation as his fingers found the hem of her sweater. Slowly, deliberately, he lifted it, the fabric sliding over her skin, gathering just above her chest. Cool air met the warmth of her body, sending a shiver through her as her stomach and the lace-covered swell of her breasts were revealed to him.
Her heart pounded as he leaned down, his lips tracing a slow, unhurried path along her jaw, then lower, down the delicate curve of her neck. Every press of his mouth left her skin tingling, warmth pooling deep inside her. His hands followed, tender yet assured, cupping her breasts, his thumbs brushing over the sensitive peaks. A quiet sigh escaped her, her back arching instinctively into his touch, silently urging him on.
His fingers skimmed the slope of her waist, tracing along her ribs before venturing lower. The anticipation made her breath stutter, her senses sharpening as his hand found the waistband of her jeans. She felt his fingers slip past the fabric with ease, the heat of his touch pressing against the thin lace of her panties.
A sharp breath hitched in her throat as he explored, teasing at her center with slow, deliberate strokes. The sensation was electric, sending waves of pleasure curling through her. She clung to his shoulders, her grip tightening as he pushed her further into sensation—patient, unhurried, savoring every reaction she gave him.
Beside her, his warmth enveloped her, grounding her even as his fingers continued their slow, teasing rhythm. Every movement was precise, coaxing, igniting a fire deep within her. She could feel the way her hips responded, rising instinctively to meet his touch, chasing the pleasure he so expertly drew from her.
Her breath came in quiet, uneven gasps, each one only spurring him on. His gaze flickered between her flushed face and the way her body moved under his touch, drinking in every sound, every shiver.
Then, seamlessly, their position shifted. He sat up, pulling her with him, his arms wrapping around her as he cradled her against his chest. Her head rested against the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, her breath shaky, her body trembling in his hold. Yet his hand remained between her thighs, never faltering, never rushing—just holding her there, guiding her deeper into sensation.
She clung to him, her fingers gripping his shirt as if anchoring herself against the pleasure that threatened to consume her entirely.
“Yooyeon…” He whispers her name, his voice deep and coaxing.
His free hand stroked her hair, tender and grounding—a stark contrast to the way his other hand moved with aching precision. She gasped, thighs trembling around his wrist, and he tightened his hold around her, murmuring soft reassurances against her temple.
She could feel his arousal pressing against her through his pants, heat radiating from him. Instinctively, her hand drifted down, palm grazing over the rigid outline. A quiet sigh escaped him at her touch.
“I want to make you feel good,” she whispered, her voice laced with quiet desire.
A silent agreement passed between them as he slowly withdrew his hand from between her thighs, releasing her just long enough to let them shift.
Yooyeon pulled her sweater over her head, the fabric slipping away to reveal bare skin beneath. He helped her, his fingers grazing along her arms as he eased it off. She returned the gesture, undoing the buttons of his shirt, pushing it from his shoulders, baring him to her touch.
Piece by piece, they undressed—her bra, her jeans, the soft slide of lace slipping down her legs until nothing remained between them. She moved closer, hands finding the buckle of his belt, unfastening it with deliberate care. He watched her, breath shallow, as she worked the zipper down, easing his pants over his hips and letting them pool at his feet.
Left only in his boxers, his arousal strained against the fabric, the tension between them thick with anticipation. Settling between his legs, Yooyeon reached for the waistband, fingers curling around it as she tugged it down, inch by inch. The moment the fabric gave way, his erection sprang free, no longer bound by restraint.
She glanced up at him, lips slightly parted, her breath warm against his skin. He looked down at her, eyes dark with something between restraint and longing.
“Yooyeon… you don’t have to,” he murmured, his voice low, hesitant.
She shook her head, her heart aching at how gentle he was with her. “But I want to.”
And she did. It wasn’t just about desire—it was something deeper, something that went beyond the heat simmering between them. She wanted to show him how much he meant to her, how much she trusted him, how much she loved him. Every touch he had given her had been filled with tenderness, with devotion. She wanted to give that back to him now, to see him unravel because of her.
Holding his gaze, she leaned in, letting her lips brush against him first—soft, deliberate, reverent. His breath caught. Encouraged, she let her tongue flick out, tasting him, before slowly taking him into her mouth. He twitched against her tongue, and a quiet groan slipped from his lips. The sound sent warmth curling through her, not just from arousal, but from the knowledge that she could bring him pleasure like this. That he would let her. That he wanted her to.
She moved slowly, savoring the weight of him, the heat, the way his fingers threaded through her hair—not to guide her, not to demand, but simply to touch, to hold. His restraint was palpable, and it only made her more determined to make him feel good.
Her eyes flicked up to meet his, and the sight of him nearly stole her breath. His jaw was clenched, his brows drawn together, his chest rising and falling in uneven breaths. But it was his eyes that struck her most—heavy-lidded, filled with something deep, something raw. It wasn’t just lust. It was trust. It was need. It was him letting her in, completely.
She took him deeper, her fingers gripping his thighs as she found a rhythm—slow, unhurried, giving him everything she had. She wanted him to feel it—to feel her. To know that this was more than just pleasure, that it was her love, her devotion, poured into every movement.
“Yooyeon…” His voice was strained, rough with need.
She stilled immediately, understanding him without question. He wasn’t asking her to stop—he just wanted something different. Something more.
He reached for her, his hands open, waiting. Without hesitation, she took them, letting him guide her up, pulling her closer.
She followed his lead, moving effortlessly into his lap, their bodies pressing together as she settled atop him. Face to face now, her knees hugged his sides, her chest brushing against his with every breath. A sharp shiver ran through her as she felt him—hot, hard, pressing against her stomach, the intimacy of their position making her pulse race.
She gazed at him, her fingers trailing over his shoulders, his neck, his jaw, memorizing every inch of him. His eyes, dark and unreadable, searched hers, and for a moment, they simply breathed together, held in the gravity of this moment.
Slowly, tenderly, she leaned in, capturing his lips in a kiss—one filled with everything she couldn’t say out loud.
But she wanted to show him. To give him everything.
Her gaze drifted downward as she reached between them, her fingers grazing along his hardness, feeling the heat of him against her palm. A quiet shiver ran through her as she caressed him, taking her time, savoring the way he responded to her touch. With careful precision, she guided him, adjusting her position, her body instinctively preparing to take him in.
And then, without hesitation, she moved.
A quiet gasp left her lips as she slowly enveloped him, her body stretching to accommodate him, every inch sending waves of sensation through her. Her arms wrapped around his neck, seeking both support and connection, her forehead resting briefly against his as she took a steadying breath.
She felt him—deep, warm, filling her completely. But more than anything, what she felt was joy. A slow, radiant smile formed on her lips as she met his gaze, her heart swelling with something beyond just pleasure.
And then, as if that smile was all the invitation he needed, he began to move.
The first thrust sent a sharp, sweet pleasure rippling through her, her breath catching before it spilled out in a quiet moan. The next had her clutching onto him, overwhelmed by the intensity of feeling. The sound of their mingled breaths, the heat between them, the way their bodies moved together—it was all-consuming.
She melted into him, lost in the rhythm, lost in him.
The intensity overwhelmed him, and he fell back, bringing her with him. A gasp left Yooyeon’s lips as she followed, her body molding against his as his thrusts remained unrelenting. His hands moved to her hips, then lower, gripping her firmly as he guided her movements, driving her deeper into pleasure.
She felt the heat, the desperation between them, the way their bodies refused to part even for a second. Every movement sent another wave of sensation crashing through her, pushing her closer to the edge.
But she wanted more than just the pleasure. She wanted him—completely.
Yooyeon cupped his face, her fingers threading into his damp hair as she looked down at him. His jaw was clenched, his brows furrowed, lost in the sheer intensity of their connection. She could see it, feel it—the tension coiling tight within him.
So she kissed him.
Soft at first, then deeper, her lips parting to welcome him, their tongues meeting in a slow, tangled dance. She poured herself into the kiss, coaxing, soothing, grounding him even as the pleasure consumed them both.
And slowly, she felt him relax beneath her, surrendering to her touch, to her.
As his pace became less erratic, she adjusted, matching his rhythm with newfound confidence. She learned his movements, feeling the way their bodies aligned, and slowly, she took control—rolling her hips in time with his, meeting each thrust with her own.
Their breaths synced, their bodies moving together in perfect harmony.
She felt it in the way he held her, in the way his hands tightened on her waist, guiding her but letting her lead. A quiet thrill coursed through her at the unspoken understanding between them, at the way he let her set the pace, trusting her, surrendering to her.
Their eyes met, locking in an intimate gaze, the world around them fading away. There were no words—there was no need for them. In that moment, everything was clear.
It was just them.
“Yooyeon… I’m close…” His voice was ragged, strained, barely holding on.
She gasped, her fingers tightening against his shoulders as pleasure coiled tighter inside her. “Me too…” she whispered, her breath hitching. Then, she met his gaze, her eyes soft, full of trust. “You can… it’s fine.”
A shudder ran through him at her words, at the quiet certainty in her voice.
And then, together, they unraveled.
His grip on her waist tightened as he thrust deep, his release spilling into her just as she came undone around him. A sharp, breathless cry escaped her lips as pleasure surged through her, overwhelming, consuming. She trembled in his arms, her body clinging to his as the waves of ecstasy pulsed through them both.
For a long moment, neither of them moved—just the sound of their breaths mingling, their bodies still entwined, the warmth of each other keeping them grounded.
Slowly, Yooyeon melted against his chest, her heart still racing, a soft, contented sigh escaping her.
They had never felt closer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You wake up before her.
The first thing you notice is the weight of her arm draped over your chest, her fingers lightly curled against your skin. The second is how deeply she sleeps—peaceful, unguarded, as if she belongs here, as if there was never a time when she didn’t.
Something tight eases in your chest.
You should move, should slip away before she stirs, but you don’t. You just lie there, watching the slow rise and fall of her breathing, the way the early morning light catches the strands of her hair.
She came back.
Not out of obligation. Not because of memories.
But because she chose you.
Your fingers brush over her knuckles, tracing the shape of her hand. She shifts at the touch, her brows scrunching slightly before her eyes flutter open.
For a second, she blinks at you, dazed with sleep. Then, she smiles—small, warm, real. "You're staring."
You huff a quiet laugh. "You're the one who came here in the middle of the night and threw yourself at me."
She flushes, burying her face into your chest. "I did not throw myself at you."
"You did." You smirk, tightening your hold around her. "Not that I’m complaining."
She groans but doesn’t pull away, only presses closer. You feel the sigh she lets out, something soft and content against your skin.
Then, quieter, almost hesitant—“What happens now?”
Your grip on her tightens slightly.
Because the truth is, you don’t know.
There is no contract binding you anymore. No pretense of a marriage built on expectations, no excuse to hide behind the illusion of what you used to be.
There is only this—the love she chose to give you.
And you—the love you’ve always had for her.
You exhale, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “We take it one day at a time.”
She tilts her head up, searching your face. You meet her gaze, your voice quieter when you add, “And this time, we don’t hide.”
Her expression softens. She lifts a hand, cupping your cheek, her thumb brushing just below your eye.
"Okay," she whispers.
And just like that, it’s decided.
This time, it’s real.
No pretending. No distance.
Just you and her.
659 notes · View notes
moonstruckme · 4 months ago
Note
Pookie! I need you to write me something pretty please :)
Can you write Remus comforting a reader with an anxiety disorder when someone told them "there's nothing to be anxious about. You just want attention" ??? Pretty please?? Love you pookieeeeeee
Thanks for requesting!
cw: mean girl stuff, social anxiety
Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 929 words
“Shh.” Remus holds you close to his chest, his hand moving up and down your arm now that your crying has slowed. “It’s okay. It’s just us, yeah?” 
“Yeah,” you echo, croakily. You’re glad you can’t see your boyfriend’s face, for fear you’d die of embarrassment otherwise. The looming insecurity of your day stands over you like a grim reaper. 
You arrived home from a friend’s birthday dinner to find Remus sitting on the couch, already marking the page of his book as he turned to you with a soft smile. 
“Hi, sweetheart. How was it?” 
You replied, through a laugh that turned into a sob halfway through, “Not great.” 
The dinner had been an event of foreboding for you since your invite. You’d been determined to be a good friend by not bailing, but actually going had confirmed your worst fears; it was loud, crowded, filled with people you didn’t know and didn’t fit with. Your outfit wasn’t right, the menu was daunting, and conversation swirled all around you about things you weren’t a part of. The fallout was basically inevitable. 
You perhaps waited too long to excuse yourself. You were sweating buckets and breathing around a lump by the time you did, whispering an explanation to your friend before locking yourself into a bathroom stall to talk yourself down. You’re sure she didn’t mean anything by telling the people sitting closest to her why you were gone—you don’t think she’d do it to gossip, and she’s never talked down to you about that sort of thing, at least not to your face—but by the time you returned one of her friends—a stranger to you, who’s name you can’t even remember—had formulated a fairly decisive opinion and dubbed you an attention seeker. 
You stayed only a little longer after that. Just long enough to avoid attracting more attention. And you worked yourself up well enough on the way home that all it took was one innocent question from Remus to send you crumpling into his arms. 
You’ve tried to steel yourself more than once, but any attempts at stoicism have been foiled by your boyfriend’s tender looks and whispered placations, which only make you cry harder. If you’re an attention seeker, Remus is your holy grail. Self loathing sits lodged in your throat like a stone. 
“Whose friend was it, again?” Remus asks, stroking your arm gently. 
You take a breath, trying to steady your voice. “Does it matter?” 
“I don’t mean it’s your friend’s fault, sweetheart,” Remus says. He’s all softness and patience, better than you could ever deserve. “I just thought you might talk to her, if you want to. She ought to know her friend is going around saying cruel things.” 
“She was there.” Your throat tightens at the memory. 
“Oh. Then I don’t suppose you need to say anything; I’m sure she’s already very upset for you.” 
You try to laugh, frustrated with yourself when it only seems to spur another wave of tears. “Rem. You’re biased.” 
“What?” Remus sounds genuinely surprised. “You don’t think she’s angry with that other girl?”
“She’s her friend.” 
“So are you.” His arms tighten around you protectively, chin bumping your head. “I may be biased, but the other girl was clearly in the wrong. There’s no excuse for the way she acted.” 
A dozen rebuttals fly about your head, but you keep your mouth shut. You don’t have the energy to argue. Unfortunately, Remus hears your argument in the silence anyway. 
“Sweetheart,” he says softly, “no one puts themselves through what you do for attention. You don’t choose to feel that way.”
You hunch your back, tucking your head underneath his chin. “I do get attention for it, though.” 
“That doesn’t mean you want it.” 
“But I—”
“Do you want it?” You can’t see Remus, but you hear the hardened edge to his tone. “Did you like it, when that girl called attention to you in the middle of the dinner?” 
Your voice smalls. “No.” 
“Right.” The gentleness returns. Remus puts his lips to your head. “I know you didn’t, dovey. So don’t torment yourself, please. She doesn’t know anything about you.” 
You push your lips together. He lets you chew on your next words for a while, his thumb swiping softly back and forth over your upper arm, the sleeve of your top shifting slightly with the motion. 
“What if…” You gnaw the inside of your cheek. Remus waits. “What if everyone thinks that?” 
“Mm. Well, for what it’s worth, I don’t think most people would. Surely not anyone who knows you, or anyone worth being around.” He takes a breath, thinking. “You can’t always control what people think. I know you say I’m biased, but anyone who thinks something like that really isn’t worth thinking about at all. You’ve got enough going through that head of yours, yeah?” He kisses your hair fondly. 
“I guess so,” you admit. 
“Yeah,” Remus decides. He pulls away to see your face, pushing hair away from your tacky cheeks. “I’d say so.” 
You wonder if you look as horrendously in love as you feel. You think you must, because your boyfriend’s expression softens impossibly further as he turns his head to give you a proper kiss. You feel raw but comforted, and suddenly, totally exhausted. 
“Let the bullies worry about themselves.” Remus gives you a tender look. “I’ll worry about you.” 
You let a small smile tilt your lips. “And what am I left to worry about?” 
“Nothing,” he says solemnly. “Think you can manage that?” 
“Nope.” 
“Mm. Well, try.” 
685 notes · View notes
hisfavegirl · 5 months ago
Text
Loneliness - Aemond Targaryen x Niece!Reader.
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summary : your mother's decision to leave you alone in the red keep and start a new life with daemon made you become cold to your own family. but you found something more valuable in the red keep.
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The world had shifted, and so had you. The corridors of the Red Keep, once familiar, now felt colder and more suffocating. The weight of whispers followed you everywhere — quiet murmurs of “bastard” and “orphan” carried on the air like an ever-present shadow. But you had learned not to flinch. Not anymore.
Aemond’s injury at Driftmark had been a turning point, not just for him but for you as well. The rage, the blood, and the searing accusations that followed lingered in your mind like a bad dream that refused to fade. His loss of an eye became a symbol of the growing rift between your family and theirs. You had watched it all, your heart pounding in your chest, knowing that no matter what you said or did, it wouldn’t be enough to stop the storm.
Then came the departure of your father. Sudden. Unexplained. No goodbyes. One day he was there, and the next, he was gone. The ache it left in you was raw and hollow.
But the final blow came with the news of your mother’s marriage to Daemon. The whispers grew louder after that. The court’s disapproval was palpable, their eyes darting to you with barely concealed scorn. “Daughter of the princess and the rogue prince.” The words dripped with venom. It didn’t help that, after her marriage, your mother chose to return to Dragonstone — without you.
“It’s safer for you in the Red Keep,” she had told you, her voice firm but her eyes sad.
You had grown colder after that. Quieter. The smile you once wore so freely became a distant memory. You no longer sought out the company of others. You stayed in your chambers longer, speaking only when necessary, your heart guarded behind walls no one could breach.
The Greens noticed. Of course, they did. Queen Alicent’s watchful eyes never missed a thing. You felt her gaze on you at meals, in the training yard, and whenever you walked the halls alone. Sometimes she would speak to you, offering honeyed words about “duty” and “family unity.” Other times, she would simply watch, her face unreadable, as if trying to solve a puzzle only she could see.
But you had learned to keep your face still, your eyes sharp, and your words measured. They could call you “bastard” as much as they pleased, but they would never see you break. Not like before.
On one particularly cold evening, you sat by the window, gazing out at the courtyard below. You looked Aemond who were training with Ser Cirston, but you had little interest in watching. Your thoughts drifted like clouds in a stormy sky. You could see the sea in the distance, and it made you think of your father. Does he think of me too?
A knock came at the door, but you didn’t answer. It opened anyway, and you knew before you turned who it would be.
Queen Alicent.
She stepped inside with the same quiet grace she always carried. Her green gown trailed behind her like ivy creeping along stone. Her hands were folded neatly in front of her, her eyes calm but focused.
“You’ve been keeping to yourself more than usual,” she said softly, her voice like silk over steel. “It’s not good for a child to be so alone.”
You didn’t respond right away, your eyes still fixed on the sea.
“I’m not alone,” you finally said, echoing the same words you’d told her once before. “I have my thoughts. They keep me company.”
Alicent tilted her head, her gaze sharp as ever. “Thoughts can be dangerous if left unchecked,” she replied, stepping closer. “Sometimes, they lead us to dark places.”
Her words lingered, heavy with meaning. You glanced at her then, your gaze steady and cold. “I am not afraid of the dark, Your Grace.”
She raised an eyebrow, perhaps surprised by your boldness. But she didn’t scold you. If anything, her lips curved into a faint smile — though it was not one of warmth.
“No, I don’t suppose you are,” she said, her eyes narrowing slightly. “You are your mother’s daughter, after all.”
Silence hung between you, thick as smoke. She watched you for a moment longer, as if searching for something she wasn’t sure she would find.
“Be careful with that pride,” she warned before turning toward the door. “Pride has a way of making orphans of us all.”
Her words echoed long after she had gone, her footsteps fading down the hall. Alone once more, you sat by the window, eyes on the sea, your heart a fortress with walls higher than any castle. If pride would make an orphan of you, then so be it. You would rather stand alone in the storm than kneel before those who called you “bastard.”
You leaned against the headboard of your bed, the weight of the day pressing heavily on your chest. The dim glow of the fading sun seeped through the window, casting soft orange hues across the room. The stillness around you was suffocating, the silence broken only by the distant calls of seagulls and the gentle hum of the Red Keep’s endless murmurs.
Your gaze was distant, eyes locked on the ceiling as thoughts swirled in your mind like a storm at sea. What did I do wrong? The question had haunted you since the day your mother left for Dragonstone. It echoed with every quiet moment, every glance from Alicent, and every sharp whisper from passing lords and ladies.
Was I not enough? you wondered. Did I fail her somehow?
You swallowed the lump forming in your throat, blinking away the sting behind your eyes. You were too old to cry over such things. But it was hard not to feel abandoned. Your mother was supposed to teach you, guide you, and be your shield. But instead, she had gone — with Jace, with Luke, with her new husband — and left you here. Alone.
A quiet knock pulled you from your thoughts. The door creaked open, and one of your maids stepped inside, her eyes lowered in respect. She held a small piece of parchment in her hands, the edges of it sealed with the unmistakable red wax of House Targaryen. Your heart leapt at the sight of it, the faintest flicker of hope blooming in your chest.
“A letter from Dragonstone, princess ,” the maid announced softly, walking toward you with careful steps.
You sat up quickly, heart pounding in your chest. She placed the letter in your hands, then stepped back, her gaze flickering with quiet curiosity before she lowered her eyes once more.
You stared at the seal for a moment, fingers tracing the mark of the three-headed dragon. Mother. For a moment, you hesitated. Part of you feared what it might say. Would it be filled with more promises to “see you soon” that never came true? Or would it finally be an explanation?
With a deep breath, you broke the seal and unfolded the parchment, eyes scanning the familiar, flowing script.
Your hands tightened around the parchment, the familiar ache in your chest returning tenfold. Her words were kind, warm, even loving — but they were just words. You couldn’t feel her arms around you through ink and parchment. You couldn’t hear her voice telling you everything would be all right.
The maid watched you carefully, perhaps waiting for some instruction or response, but you stayed silent. Your eyes lingered on the words “I love you with every breath I take.” For a moment, you believed it. But it didn’t fill the hollow space her absence had carved into you.
Slowly, you folded the letter and placed it under your pillow, as if keeping it close would make her feel closer too. You leaned back against the headboard, eyes once again drifting to the ceiling.
If you love me, why did you leave me? you thought bitterly. But you didn’t say it aloud. No one would hear you. No one ever did.
The next morning, you made the decision to visit your grandfather, King Viserys. You hadn’t seen him in some time, not since his illness had worsened and confined him to his chambers. There were whispers in the halls about his condition — how the disease was slowly consuming him, how he had become a shadow of the man he once was.
The walk to his chambers felt heavier than usual. Every step echoed against the cold stone walls, and the silence of the Red Keep pressed down on you. When you reached his door, the guards glanced at you briefly before stepping aside, allowing you entry.
The room smelled faintly of herbs and medicine, the air thick with the warmth of a fire that burned low in the hearth. Curtains were drawn, allowing only slivers of light to seep through. The soft, steady wheeze of your grandfather’s breathing filled the room, the sound uneven and strained.
He lay on the grand bed, his once-strong frame now frail and sunken. His face was pale, his skin stretched thin over his cheekbones, and his eyes, though closed, twitched beneath his eyelids as if he were trapped in a restless dream. His crown, once a symbol of his might, lay on a table beside him, cold and untouched.
Quietly, you approached his bedside, your heart aching at the sight of him. This is not the king I remember, you thought. The man who had once carried you on his shoulders during feasts, who had smiled so warmly when you brought him wildflowers from the gardens, was now barely a shadow of himself.
You pulled a chair close and sat by his side. For a moment, you only watched him, taking in every rise and fall of his chest, every line on his weathered face. Slowly, you reached out and took his hand in yours. His skin was cool to the touch, rough in places where age and illness had left their mark.
Gently, you ran your thumb across his knuckles, your movements slow and deliberate, as if afraid he might break beneath your touch. His fingers twitched slightly at the contact, and you wondered if he knew you were there.
“Grandfather,” you said softly, your voice barely more than a whisper. “It’s me.”
His breathing hitched for a moment, and you thought you saw his eyelids flutter. Slowly, his eyes opened — not fully, just enough to see you. His gaze was foggy, distant, but after a moment, recognition flickered within them. His lips parted, and his voice, cracked and hoarse, barely made it out.
“…child,” he rasped, his eyes squinting to focus on you.
Tears welled up in your eyes, but you blinked them away, refusing to cry. You smiled at him, leaning in a little closer. “Yes, it’s me,” you said, your voice more steady now. “I came to see you.”
He tried to smile, but it came as little more than a twitch of his lips. His gaze lingered on you, his eyes filled with something you couldn’t quite place — pride, perhaps, or sorrow. Maybe both.
“You look… so much like her,” he murmured, his voice strained with effort. “So strong… just like her.”
You knew he was speaking of your mother. People often said you resembled her, though you weren’t sure if it was meant as a compliment or a curse. Still, hearing it from him felt different.
“I miss her,” you admitted quietly, still stroking his hand. “She left for Dragonstone with Jace and Luke. I stayed.”
His brows knitted together in confusion or concern. His gaze sharpened just a little, like a dying flame flaring briefly before fading. “Alone?” he asked, his voice tinged with disbelief.
You nodded, feeling a familiar ache settle in your chest. “I stayed so she wouldn’t seem weak. So they wouldn’t say we were running away.” Your throat tightened, but you forced yourself to keep speaking. “But sometimes… I wonder if she forgot me.”
Viserys’s eyes softened, his grip on your hand weak but deliberate as he squeezed it gently. “No,” he said with surprising clarity. “She could never forget you.”
The words broke something in you. Your head dipped forward, and you clutched his hand tightly, holding on as if he were the last tether keeping you from drifting away. His breathing grew more labored, but he didn’t let go of you. Not yet.
“You are her heart,” he whispered, his words faint but certain. “Her blood. No distance… no crown… can change that.”
You pressed his hand to your forehead, eyes shut tight as tears spilled down your cheeks. You didn’t make a sound, didn’t want him to hear you cry, but you stayed there, letting his words settle into you like warmth after a bitter cold.
You sat beside your grandfather, the warmth of the fire flickering against the walls of his chamber. The familiar weight of the old, worn book rested in your hands as you read aloud, your voice soft but steady. It was his favorite story — one he had read to you when you were younger, back when his voice was strong and his mind sharp. Now, it was your turn to read to him.
His breathing was slow and uneven, each inhale a struggle, but his eyes were closed in peace. Every so often, his fingers would twitch in your grasp as if to remind you that he was still listening, still here. Moments like these were rare, and you cherished them.
Your voice filled the quiet space, weaving the tale of knights and honor, of dragons and kings. It had always been his favorite — a story of legacy and duty. How fitting for him, you thought with a faint smile.
But then, the sound of the chamber door creaking open shattered the peace. You paused mid-sentence, glancing toward the entrance. Two figures stepped inside — one familiar, one foreign.
Your heart stopped.
It was her. Your mother.
Her silver hair flowed freely down her back, her presence commanding the room as if she had never left. By her side was him. Daemon Targaryen, his sharp features as unyielding as ever, his gaze sweeping the room with quiet calculation. His hand rested lightly on your mother’s back as if he had every right to be there.
They had returned.
You sat frozen for a moment, still clutching the book as if it were an anchor. Your eyes met your mother’s, and for a heartbeat, neither of you moved. Her gaze softened, lips parting slightly as if to say something, but the words didn’t come.
Too late, you thought bitterly.
Daemon’s eyes flicked to you, cold and unreadable, but he said nothing. He never had to. His presence alone was a statement, a reminder that everything had changed.
The silence stretched on, thick and heavy like fog. Slowly, you closed the book, the soft thud echoing louder than it should have. You stood, brushing off your skirts as if preparing for battle, your gaze sharp and steady. No tears. Not here. Not now.
“May I be excused?” you asked, your voice calm, measured, and far too grown for someone your age.
Viserys stirred, his eyes flickering open just barely. “Stay,” he rasped, his weak voice pleading. “She’s… here now.”
But you didn’t look at him. Your eyes were locked on your mother, waiting for her to speak. Waiting for her to give you a reason to stay.
Say something, you thought. Tell me you missed me. Tell me you’re sorry. Tell me anything.
But she didn’t. Her lips pressed into a thin line, and though her eyes brimmed with something — regret, guilt, love — it wasn’t enough.
You lowered your gaze, your heart feeling heavier than before. “I’ll be in my chambers,” you said softly, stepping away from the bed.
You didn’t wait for permission. You didn’t wait for her to call after you. You simply turned and walked toward the door, each step carrying you further away from them.
Behind you, you could hear Viserys coughing weakly, the quiet murmuring of your mother’s voice as she rushed to his side. But she hadn’t come to you. She had come for him.
And so, you left. Alone, as always.
You ran as fast as your legs would carry you, your heart pounding in your chest harder than your footsteps echoed against the cold stone floors of the Red Keep. The corridors blurred around you, familiar paths that you had walked a thousand times before. But now, they felt endless, like a maze you couldn’t escape.
The moment you reached the garden, you didn’t stop. You pushed past the hedges and flowers, past the sweet fragrance of blooming roses that felt so out of place against the storm in your heart. Only when you reached the large weirwood tree at the center of the garden did you finally stop.
Breathing heavily, you leaned against the rough bark, letting it press into your back like a grounding weight. Your head tilted up to the sky, eyes stinging with unshed tears. But it wasn’t long before they escaped, hot trails down your cheeks.
She didn’t even say my name.
That thought replayed over and over, sharp and cruel like a dagger twisting in your chest. She had looked at you. She saw you. But she said nothing. No “stay,” no “come here,” not even your name. It was as if you were no one at all.
You pressed the heels of your palms to your eyes, trying to stop the tears. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Not for her. Not for them. But the ache in your chest was too much, and the more you tried to hold it in, the harder it became to breathe.
“Crying doesn’t suit you,” came a cool, familiar voice from behind you.
You stiffened, slowly lowering your hands. The voice was sharp but steady, a quiet command that didn’t need to be loud to be heard. You didn’t have to turn to know who it was.
“Aemond,” you muttered, wiping at your face quickly, trying to hide any trace of weakness. “What do you want?”
Footsteps crunched lightly against the gravel path until he was closer. You could feel his presence, sharp and deliberate, like the edge of a blade hovering just out of reach.
“Nothing,” he replied simply. His tone was calm, but there was something beneath it — curiosity, maybe, or something colder. “I was only passing by. But it’s hard to miss someone running through the Keep like they’re being chased by a shadow.”
You scoffed, arms crossing over your chest as you turned your head slightly to glance at him. He stood a few feet away, his hands clasped behind his back, his posture straight and proud as always. His silver hair glowed faintly in the afternoon light, the eyepatch over his left eye making his sharp features seem even more severe.
“Then keep walking,” you said quietly, leaning your head back against the tree. You didn’t have the energy to argue with him today. “I’m not in the mood for your games, Aemond.”
But he didn’t move. He stayed where he was, his lone eye watching you carefully, studying you like one of his history books. His silence was heavy, expectant, like he was waiting for you to say something more.
When you didn’t, he stepped closer. “Did she say something to you?”
You froze at that, your fingers digging into your arms. You knew exactly who he meant. He always knew.
“Why do you care?” you asked, your voice sharper than you intended. You turned to face him fully, eyes still red but blazing with defiance. “Come to gloat, have you? Come to remind me I’m the forgotten child, the one they left behind?”
Aemond tilted his head slightly, his gaze narrowing as if considering your words. He didn’t smile, didn’t sneer — he wasn’t like Aegon. No, Aemond was too controlled for that.
“I don’t need to remind you of something you already know,” he said calmly, his voice cutting through the air like ice. “But you should know this — being forgotten isn’t the same as being weak.”
His words hung there for a moment, sharp and cold but strangely… honest. He stepped forward, and for once, you didn’t move away. He stopped just an arm’s length from you, his gaze unwavering.
“Do you think I don’t know what it’s like?” he continued, his tone quieter now, more deliberate. “They may look at me, but they don’t see me. Not as I am.” He glanced away briefly, jaw tightening, as if the admission had cost him something.
Your breath caught in your throat. For all the times you had argued with Aemond, for all the cold remarks and sharp looks exchanged, this was different. You recognized the weight in his words because it was the same weight you carried.
For a moment, neither of you spoke. The garden was quiet except for the distant chirping of birds and the rustle of leaves in the breeze.
Finally, you sighed, looking down at your feet. “It hurts,” you admitted, barely more than a whisper. “No matter how much I tell myself it doesn’t, it still hurts.”
There was another pause, then the sound of footsteps. You expected him to walk away, to leave you to your thoughts. But instead, he stepped closer, his shadow falling over you. When you glanced up, he was right there in front of you, his face unreadable but his gaze steady.
“Then let it hurt,” he said quietly, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. “Let it hurt, and then make sure they regret it.”
Your eyes widened slightly, caught off guard by the quiet ferocity in his tone. He wasn’t offering comfort, not in the way others might. But he wasn’t mocking you either. This was something else — a challenge, perhaps. Or a promise.
For once, you didn’t argue with him. You didn’t have the strength.
You glanced away, wiping at the last of your tears with the sleeve of your dress. “You sound like Daemon,” you muttered, half-expecting it to annoy him.
But Aemond only huffed a quiet laugh. “Daemon thinks with his heart,” he said, his lips twitching into a brief, fleeting smile. “I think with my mind.”
You tilted your head slightly, eyes narrowing. “Which one do you think is better?”
His smile faded, and for a moment, he seemed to genuinely consider it. “Both are useful,” he said finally. “But only one will win a war.”
You didn’t know if that was meant to be advice or a warning. Maybe both.
The two of you stood there in the quiet of the garden, side by side but not quite together. The ache in your heart had dulled to something more bearable. Not gone — it would never be gone — but bearable.
“Come,” Aemond said after a moment, tilting his head toward the path. “If you stay here too long, they’ll think you’ve run away.”
His words could have been a jest, but his tone was too matter-of-fact. You stared at him for a moment longer, then pushed away from the tree, your legs steadier now than before.
He didn’t offer his hand, and you didn’t ask for it. But he walked beside you, his stride matching yours as you made your way back toward the Keep.
And for once, you didn’t feel so alone.
As you and Aemond made your way down the hallway, the silence between you both felt less oppressive, though still distant. There was an odd sense of companionship in the quiet that lingered as you walked side by side, but it was short-lived.
As you reached the stairs, you spotted Alicent. She stood at the top, watching both of you with an unreadable expression. Her gaze flicked between you and Aemond, and for a brief moment, the tension between the three of you seemed to stretch thin, like a thread pulled too tight.
She descended slowly, her steps deliberate, until she reached the landing where you both stood.
“You,” she began, her voice steady, though there was an underlying sharpness. She looked directly at Aemond. “Take her to her chambers. I need to speak with you after.”
Aemond met her gaze, his expression unchanged. “Yes, Mother,” he replied, his tone respectful, though the slightest edge lingered in his voice.
You felt the air around you grow colder, her eyes now turning to you. They were calm, almost calculating, but there was a trace of something else beneath — concern, perhaps, or something more complicated that you couldn’t quite read.
“I’ll speak to you shortly,” Alicent said, her voice gentler now as she directed her attention to you. There was no warmth, but there was something like understanding, or at least the semblance of it.
You nodded silently, not trusting your voice to stay steady. For a moment, you thought of resisting, of telling her you didn’t want to meet her in her solar. But the words didn’t come, and the thought seemed almost futile. So, you allowed Aemond to guide you silently toward your room, knowing that an inevitable conversation with your mother loomed ahead.
Aemond didn’t say anything as he walked beside you, his presence more of a shadow than anything else. You couldn’t help but wonder what had transpired between them, what conversation lay ahead, and if you would ever get the answers you sought — or if it would only ever remain a silence, a chasm growing between you and those you had once trusted most.
You stepped into your room, the door creaking softly as you entered, your mind still heavy with the encounter on the stairs. You turned to Aemond, giving him a small, brief thank you. He only nodded in return, his expression unreadable, before turning on his heel and leaving without a word. His presence was gone just as quickly as it had arrived, and the silence that followed felt almost suffocating.
The moment he was gone, you closed the door behind you, your hand lingering on the handle for a moment before you turned away. Your gaze swept across the room, and something caught your eye — a soft green fabric sprawled across the bed.
A gown. A rich, flowing green gown. The fabric shimmered faintly in the dim light, elegant and carefully placed, as though it had been waiting for you.
You walked over, your steps hesitant as you approached the bed, your fingers brushing against the soft material. Confusion washed over you. What was this? Why was it here? The last thing you expected was to find a gown, especially one so formal — so… green.
It was then that a thought crossed your mind — the color. Green. The color of the greens. Was it a sign? A reminder of what was expected of you? You didn’t know, but the weight of it made your chest tighten. Why was it left here, and by whom? Your mother’s choice, or something else entirely?
You stared at it for a moment longer, your thoughts tangled in confusion and frustration. You didn’t want to wear it. Not today. Not when everything felt so wrong. But there was no time for indecision.
Just as you were about to turn away, you heard the soft sound of footsteps approaching outside the door.
Your breath caught, and before you could stop yourself, you straightened up, knowing exactly who was coming.
You turned at the soft sound of footsteps, your heart tightening as you saw Queen Alicent standing in the doorway. Her presence filled the room with an air of authority, yet her eyes seemed softer than usual, though the resolve in them was unmistakable.
She stepped inside, her gaze briefly scanning the room before it landed on you. “There will be a proclaiming,” she said, her voice calm but firm. “To determine who will be the next Lord of the Tides. It is important that you stand beside me during this.” Her eyes flicked toward the green gown on the bed, her lips curling into a slight, knowing smile. “Please, wear this. It is fitting for the occasion.”
You stared at her for a long moment, feeling the weight of her words. The tension in the room seemed to grow heavier, as if the walls were closing in around you. A proclaiming. The announcement of a new Lord of the Tides. This was not just a simple event, but a reminder of the shifting allegiances and the subtle games at play. You had no choice but to be a part of it.
You glanced at the gown again, the rich green fabric glistening in the dim light. It felt like a symbol — of power, of expectations, of your place in the game. But you couldn’t bring yourself to refuse her. Not now.
“I understand,” you said softly, your voice betraying none of the turmoil inside you. “I’ll wear it.”
Alicent’s gaze softened for a brief moment, a flicker of something unreadable passing through her eyes. She nodded and walked closer, her presence commanding yet strangely comforting. “I know this isn’t easy for you,” she said quietly, her voice gentler now. “But this is part of our duty, of our role in the realm. And we must play our part.”
You stood there, caught between the pull of duty and the ache of what you had lost. The world around you seemed like a distant echo, and you struggled to hold yourself steady.
“Once you’re ready,” she continued, breaking the silence, “I’ll send ser Criston to take you to the throne room. ”
With that, she turned and left the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the gown that lay before you. The decision was clear. There was no turning back.
You reached for the gown, your fingers brushing against the fabric as you prepared yourself for what was to come.
As you sat in front of the mirror, the soft hum of your servant’s movements filled the room. She carefully arranged your hair, pulling it into an elegant style, but your thoughts were far from the delicate strands of your hair. The reflection before you felt distant, almost unfamiliar, as if the person staring back was a stranger.
You wore the green gown that Queen Alicent had provided for you, its rich fabric flowing elegantly down your form. The color, so associated with the Greens, seemed to weigh heavily on your shoulders. You couldn’t help but wonder what your family would think when they saw you in this.
What would your mother think? Would she see the daughter she had left behind in King’s Landing, dutiful and obedient, yet broken by the distance between them? You remembered the warmth of her embrace when you were younger, the way she would comfort you, guide you. Now, with her absence, you felt the heavy responsibility of the crown pressing on you from every angle.
And Jace and Luke — your brothers. What would they make of all this? They had been so close to you, always protective, always there when you needed them. Now, they were far away, living their own lives in Dragonstone. Would they understand your choices? Or would they see this as a betrayal, as a surrender to the life they had feared for you?
Your reflection in the mirror seemed to mock you with its silence. You had once imagined yourself in a life full of love, happiness, and freedom. But now, all of that felt distant, slipping away like sand through your fingers. the alliances, the politics — they all had a price. And you couldn’t help but feel like you were paying it all alone.
You tried to push those thoughts aside, but they lingered, a constant ache in your chest. You had no choice but to play the part. To be the dutiful daughter, the obedient noblewoman, and stand by your mother, even as the weight of it all crushed you from the inside.
“Are you ready, princess?” the servant asked, her voice pulling you from your thoughts.
You gave her a small nod, but the truth was, you weren’t ready. Not for any of it. But the moment had arrived, and there was no turning back.
You turned your head toward the door, your heart racing as you saw Ser Criston standing at the threshold, ready to escort you to the throne room. His presence was as stoic and reassuring as always, though you couldn’t ignore the slight tension in the air.
You straightened yourself, taking a deep breath, and walked toward him, your head held high, despite the turmoil swirling inside you. As you passed through the halls of the Red Keep, the whispers started — soft at first, but quickly growing louder. You could hear them all around you: gasps of surprise, murmurs of disbelief. The green gown, the color of the Greens, a stark contrast to the black and red of House Targaryen, was the reason for their shock.
It was a deliberate choice, one that left no room for doubt. This was a statement. And you knew exactly what it meant. The gown was a symbol, not just of your family’s current position in the court, but of the power games at play. It felt like a chain, heavy and binding, even as you walked with the grace you had been taught since childhood.
The stares followed you every step of the way. Eyes widened in disbelief, some full of judgment, others perhaps curiosity. Some were too polite to stare openly, but you could feel their gaze burning into you as you moved past them.
And yet, you didn’t falter. You walked proudly, your back straight, your expression carefully neutral, though inside, you were anything but calm. The whispers stung, but you pushed them aside. This was your duty. You had no choice but to fulfill it.
Ser Criston walked beside you, his gaze ahead, ever watchful, ever loyal. He didn’t say a word, and neither did you. But his presence gave you a small sense of comfort, as if someone, at least, understood that there was more at stake here than just the gown you wore.
Finally, you reached the grand doors of the throne room. You paused for a moment, the weight of the situation pressing down on you, before you stepped forward, the heavy wooden doors opening with a creak, revealing the sea of faces awaiting you inside.
This was it. The proclamation was about to begin. And you, standing in Queen chosen gown, would have no choice but to face the consequences of every decision made in this ever-shifting game of power.
As you entered the throne room, your eyes immediately found Queen Alicent’s. She stood tall and regal, her gaze meeting yours as you approached. Her lips curled into a soft, approving smile. “You look very beautiful in green,” she said, her voice warm, though there was something else beneath it — a knowing smile, perhaps, or a hint of satisfaction in seeing you fully embrace the role she had set out for you.
You merely nodded in acknowledgment, not trusting yourself to speak. Her words felt like both a compliment and a reminder of the expectations placed on you, and you couldn’t bring yourself to truly believe in them.
Your attention shifted quickly back to the large, imposing doors at the far end of the room, your heart quickening in anticipation. Your mother, Rhaenyra, and your brothers, Jace and Luke, were yet to arrive. The throne room was silent but for the murmurs of the court, the weight of the moment hanging in the air.
The eyes of the gathered lords and ladies were on you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to meet their gazes for long. You focused instead on the door, waiting for the sound of footsteps that would signal your family’s arrival. The uncertainty gnawed at you, and as you stood there, a part of you wished for the moment to be over, to have clarity — to know where you stood in this world of shifting alliances and loyalties.
But the time stretched on, the door still closed, the air thick with the tension of what was to come.
The heavy doors of the throne room creaked open, and there, standing in the doorway, was your mother — Rhaenyra, her posture regal and graceful, but something about her presence seemed different today. Her figure was rounder than before, the unmistakable sign of pregnancy clear to anyone who looked closely. At her side was Daemon, ever watchful, and your brothers, Jace and Luke, followed closely behind.
You could feel your heart skip a beat as they stepped forward, but your gaze locked onto Jace almost instantly. His eyes widened, a flicker of shock flashing across his face before it was quickly replaced with a deep, almost painful, disappointment. The sight of you standing with the greens, wearing their color, was something he hadn’t expected — a stark contrast to the loyalty you had once shown to your family, to House Targaryen’s black banner.
The disappointment in his eyes cut deeper than you anticipated, and for a moment, you felt the weight of every unspoken word between you both. He looked at you as though he didn’t understand, as though you had betrayed something sacred between you.
You wanted to look away, but you couldn’t. The silence between you two stretched on as his gaze bore into you, so full of emotions that you couldn’t quite decipher. Was it betrayal? Pain? Confusion?
Rhaenyra and Daemon took their place further away from you, near the center of the room. Yet, your mind couldn’t pull itself from Jace’s stare. You tried to steady your breathing, but the realization of the rift growing between you and your family felt like a weight in your chest.
The room was charged with an uneasy tension, everyone watching the scene unfold — the daughter of Rhaenyra, standing with the Greens, while her family stood apart. The quiet disappointment from Jace was almost louder than anything else in that moment.
You felt the walls close in, unsure of how to navigate this new reality. All you could do was stand there, caught between the old loyalties and the new allegiances that were now expected of you.
Aemond stood beside you, his presence unwavering as he occasionally glanced at you with an almost unreadable expression. His words were calm but sharp, as though he was trying to reinforce something that you had already come to terms with, but the sting of it still lingered. “Green is your color, not red or black,” he said softly, his tone as cold as ever. It was a statement of fact, something that left no room for argument, and yet, it only made you feel more distant from everything you had once known.
You remained silent, the weight of his words settling heavily on your shoulders. You didn’t respond — there was nothing to say. You had already accepted your place in this new world, even if it came with a bitter taste.
The room fell into a tense silence as the proclamation began. Vaemond Velaryon, with all his pride and ambition, stepped forward. His voice carried through the hall, commanding attention as he declared, “I am the rightful heir and the only true choice to be the Lord of Driftmark.”
His words reverberated in the space, each syllable a challenge, a bold assertion of power and legitimacy. The room seemed to hold its breath, waiting for the reactions of those present. You could feel the weight of Vaemond’s claim, the undeniable tension that followed. This was more than just a family dispute — it was a battle for control, for legitimacy, and for the very future of House Velaryon.
Your mind raced, thoughts colliding in confusion and discomfort. The stakes had never been higher. Would your mother support Vaemond’s claim? Or would the blood of House Targaryen — your blood — be enough to sway the tide? You glanced at your mother and Daemon, standing nearby, their expressions unreadable.
The tension was palpable as the room awaited the response, each passing second heavier than the last.
The atmosphere in the throne room grew even more tense as your mother, Rhaenyra, stepped forward with a calm yet resolute expression. Her voice, steady and authoritative, filled the hall. “Corlys’ decision remains the same,” she declared. “He has chosen Luke as the next Lord of the Tides.”
A murmur ran through the room, some faces showing surprise, others nodding in agreement. The declaration was bold, but it was backed by the powerful figure of Rhaenyra, who stood unwavering in her stance. Her words were not just about the title; they were a symbol of defiance, a challenge to those who sought to undermine the legitimacy of her children.
Rhaenys, standing beside her, nodded in firm agreement, her voice calm but carrying the weight of years of experience and authority. “My husband’s decision has not changed,” she added. “Luke is and will always be the rightful heir.”
The room fell into a heavy silence, all eyes turning to Vaemond, who had no choice but to stand down for now, his claim weakening in the face of Rhaenyra’s unyielding support.
Then, your grandmother dropped another bombshell — one that took the room by surprise. “And as part of the future of House Velaryon, I am pleased to announce that Luke and Jace are betrothed to my twin grandchildren Baela and Rhaena.”
The words hit like a thunderclap. The idea of this new betrothal, the joining of two powerful houses, added yet another layer to the intricate web of politics, alliances, and promises that had been carefully woven over the years. You could feel the weight of those words as they settled in the room, many eyes darting between you and your brothers, whispers beginning to rise once again.
You could feel the eyes of the court on you, and your heart pounded in your chest. What would Jace think about this announcement? What about Luke? The news of their betrothals, coupled with the tension surrounding Driftmark, was only going to fuel the already high stakes.
Your thoughts raced, but you kept your gaze steady, the weight of the moment pressing down on you. The room buzzed with murmurs, but you remained focused, wondering what the next move would be in this dangerous political game your family had been forced to play.
As the tension in the room thickened, the doors to the throne room creaked open once more. All eyes turned toward the entrance, and the atmosphere seemed to hold its breath. There, standing with the aid of a cane, was King Viserys. His frail form was supported by a servant on either side, and his once-vibrant presence now seemed diminished by the ravages of time and illness. Yet despite his weakened state, there was an undeniable authority that still emanated from him.
The murmurs of the court fell silent as King Viserys slowly made his way to the front, his steps deliberate and measured. With a deep, rasping breath, he finally spoke, his voice strained but still commanding. “Otto,” he began, his eyes locking onto his Hand. “I will be the one to lead this proclamation.”
There was a moment of stunned silence. Otto Hightower, standing near the throne, appeared taken aback by his father’s decision, but he quickly masked his surprise with a bow of his head, acknowledging the king’s authority.
The weight of his words reverberated throughout the room. King Viserys had reclaimed his place at the center of this crucial moment, despite his frailty. His determination to lead, to assert his authority even in his weakened state, was evident to all present.
You could see the shock and uncertainty in the eyes of the court members, and perhaps even in Rhaenyra’s and Daemon’s expressions. The course of events was shifting yet again, and with it, the balance of power in the room seemed to tip ever so slightly in the king’s favor.
Viserys, with a look of exhaustion but unwavering resolve, turned his attention to the gathered lords and ladies. “The time for further disputes ends now,” he said, his voice gaining strength with each word. “I will make my decision on this matter.”
The room fell into a heavy silence as King Viserys’ declaration rang out through the hall. “Luke shall remain the rightful heir to Driftmark,” he said firmly, his voice filled with the weight of his authority despite his frailty.
For a moment, the court seemed to hold its collective breath, but it was not long before Vaemond Velaryon’s voice cut through the tension, harsh and unrelenting. He stepped forward, his anger palpable, and his eyes were ablaze with fury. “This is wrong!” he shouted. “These children are bastards! They have no rightful claim to Driftmark, no matter how you spin it!”
His words were venomous, and as he turned his attention to your brothers, Jace and Luke, the venom in his tone grew sharper. “You two are no better than the filth you came from,” he spat, his words aimed directly at them. “You’re nothing more than the children of a whore, born from lies and treachery!”
The insult stung in ways that words could not fully capture. You could see the hurt and anger flash across Jace’s face as he stepped forward, as if ready to respond, but it was Luke’s stiffened posture that caught your attention. The weight of Vaemond’s accusations hung heavily in the air.
Vaemond’s fury, however, did not stop there. His gaze swung over to your mother, Rhaenyra, his expression twisting with contempt. “And you,” he sneered, his voice rising with scorn, “You are nothing but a cunning, deceitful whore, the one who corrupted the bloodline of House Velaryon.”
The insult was deliberate and cruel, a direct attack not only on your mother’s honor but on the legitimacy of your entire family. The room seemed to hold its breath, the weight of Vaemond’s words hanging like a storm cloud. You could feel the tension spike, the atmosphere thick with the undercurrent of anger and betrayal.
Your heart pounded in your chest, and for a moment, you thought you might break — but instead, your gaze hardened. You stood there, watching the scene unfold, unsure if you were more shocked by Vaemond’s audacity or by the way the room seemed to shift in the wake of his challenge.
The king, still gripping his cane, seemed poised to speak again, but the silence lingered, heavy and oppressive. It was as if the very air around you had been thickened with the weight of the words exchanged — the accusation of bastardy, the callous insult to your mother’s reputation.
You knew that this would not end quietly. The delicate balance of power had already been shaken, and the game was far from over.
The events unfolded in a blur, so sudden and brutal that it barely felt real. One moment, Vaemond's voice echoed through the throne room, his hateful words hanging in the air like the toll of a bell. The next, there was a flash of steel - sharp, quick, and final.
The sickening sound of flesh and bone being cleaved echoed louder than any shout. Gasps and cries filled the hall as Vaemond's head was split clean in two. His body crumpled to the ground, lifeless, with the top half of his skull tumbling to the cold stone floor. Blood pooled beneath him, dark and glistening, seeping into the cracks of the throne room's tiles.
You froze in place, eyes wide with shock, your breath caught in your chest. It felt like time had stopped. Your heart pounded in your ears, drowning out the horrified murmurs of the lords and ladies around you. Before you even realized what you were doing, your hands shot up to cover your eyes, blocking out the sight of Vaemond's mutilated body. But the image was already burned into your mind.
Helena's small, sharp gasp echoed beside you, her voice strained and filled with as much fear as your own. She pressed her hands to her face, her breathing shaky, and you knew she had seen everything too. You both stood there like statues, caught in a moment too terrible to process.
Daemon stood at the center of it all, calm as ever, his sword still raised, blood dripping from the blade in slow, deliberate drops. His eyes were sharp, unbothered by the stares or the gasps of the court. His gaze shifted only briefly to you, as if to ensure you were still standing, before he turned his attention back to the king.
"Say it again," Daemon's voice was low and deadly, his words laced with cold fury. But there was no one left to answer.
The silence that followed was suffocating. No one dared to speak, not even Otto Hightower, who watched with tightly pressed lips and narrowed eyes. Alicent's face was pale, her hands clasped in front of her as if in silent prayer. Even your mother, Rhaenyra, stood frozen for a moment, her eyes flicking between Daemon and the lifeless body of Vaemond.
King Viserys' breathing was heavy and labored, but he did not reprimand Daemon.
Instead, he raised a trembling hand, his voice brittle but clear. "I will have no more of this," he declared, his eyes hard and tired. "This matter is settled. Luke is the rightful heir to Driftmark. Let no one speak of it again."
The room remained still, filled with the metallic tang of blood and the quiet rustle of fabric as lords and ladies shifted uncomfortably in place. Your breathing was shallow, your fingers slowly lowering from your eyes. You glanced toward Aemond, whose gaze was locked on Daemon with an intensity that made your chest tighten. He wasn't horrified like the others. No, his face bore the faintest hint of something else - respect, or perhaps something darker.
Your eyes flickered back to Helena, her hands still over her face, her shoulders trembling.
Without thinking, you reached for her, gently placing a hand on her arm. She flinched but didn't pull away. The two of you stood like that for a while, the world around you too loud and too quiet all at once.
You felt Queen Alicent’s hand gently grip your arm, firm but not harsh. Her touch grounded you in the midst of the chaos, her presence a steady force as she guided you and Helaena toward the exit of the throne room. Your legs moved on their own, your mind still clouded by the horrific scene you had just witnessed.
Behind you, you heard it — Jace’s voice, sharp and desperate. “Sister! wait!” he called out, his footsteps echoing against the stone floor. For a moment, your heart ached, and you nearly stopped. Nearly.
But Alicent’s hand gave a gentle tug, and you kept walking. You didn’t turn back. You didn’t look at Jace. The weight of everything pressed on you too heavily to face him right now. Helaena walked quietly on your other side, her hands still clasped tightly together, her eyes darting around like she was trying to wake herself from a nightmare.
The echoes of the throne room faded as the heavy doors closed behind you. The hallway outside was quieter, colder, the distant hum of the Red Keep filling the silence. Your breathing was shallow, your mind replaying the moment Daemon swung his sword, the flash of steel, the wet sound of impact. You squeezed your eyes shut, willing the image away, but it clung to you like a shadow.
Alicent slowed her pace, her gaze flickering between you and Helaena. Her brow was furrowed, a mixture of concern and calculation playing on her face. She said nothing for a while, her eyes searching your face like she was trying to read every thought you were too afraid to voice.
“Come,” she said softly, her voice carrying a weight of certainty that left no room for argument. “You don’t need to see any more of this.”
Her words were kind, but there was something beneath them, something deeper. Protection, yes — but also possession. You were under her care now, just as Helaena was. She was making that clear to you with every step you took away from the throne room.
Your chest felt tight, a swirl of emotions you couldn’t name twisting inside you. Shame, fear, anger — they all swirled together like a storm you had no control over. Jace’s voice echoed in your mind, that one, desperate call of your name. But you kept walking. You didn’t look back.
You glanced up at Alicent, your voice steady but quiet. “May I return to my chambers, Your Grace?” you asked, your hands clasped neatly in front of you, just as you had been taught.
Alicent turned toward you, her eyes soft but searching, as if she were trying to gauge your state of mind. Her gaze lingered for a moment before she gave a small nod. “Of course,” she said, smoothing the fabric of her sleeve. “But be ready for tonight. The king has requested a family supper to welcome everyone back.”
Her words carried a weight you couldn’t ignore. A “family supper” sounded simple, but you knew it would be far from it. Everyone would be there — your mother, your brothers, Daemon, and the greens. You could already imagine the tension that would fill the air like a storm waiting to break.
“Yes, Your Grace,” you replied, lowering your head slightly in respect. Without another word, you turned and began walking toward your chambers.
Your footsteps echoed softly in the corridor, each step pulling you farther from the garden’s stillness. You could feel Alicent’s eyes on your back as you left, watchful and calculating as always.
When you were far enough away, you let out a slow, steady breath. The weight of everything — the throne room, the blood, Jace’s eyes filled with hurt — pressed down on you all at once. You kept walking, your face carefully blank, just as you had learned to do. But inside, your thoughts churned like a restless sea.
A family supper. It sounded so simple, but you knew better. There would be glances that lingered too long, words that cut sharper than swords, and silence that spoke louder than any proclamation. You would have to endure it all — just like you had endured today.
When you reached your chambers, you closed the door behind you and leaned against it, your eyes shut tight. The world outside felt so far away, but it was never truly gone. You could still hear echoes of it in your mind — the clash of duty and blood, of love and expectation.
For now, though, you had a moment of peace. You crossed the room and sat by the window, gazing out at the distant sea. It shimmered under the afternoon sun, vast and endless. For a moment, you allowed yourself to dream of it — the idea of flying away, of escaping it all. But dreams, you knew, were dangerous things.
With a quiet sigh, you turned away from the window and sat at the edge of your bed. You would be ready for supper. You had to be.
You stood in front of the mirror, your hands smoothing over the deep red fabric of your gown. It fit you perfectly, every stitch a reflection of your house’s pride and legacy. Red, the color of House Targaryen. The color of fire.
A sudden knock echoed from the door, pulling you from your thoughts. Your brow furrowed as you turned to face it. Without waiting for your response, the door creaked open, revealing one of Queen Alicent’s handmaidens. She stepped inside with careful grace, her gaze lowered in quiet submission, but her presence alone was enough to send a ripple of unease through you.
In her hands, she carried a gown. It shimmered in the soft glow of the chamber’s lanterns — a rich green fabric adorned with delicate golden embroidery, the sigil of House Hightower subtly woven into the design. It was beautiful. Too beautiful to be ignored.
“The queen requests that you wear this for supper tonight, princess,” the handmaiden said softly, her eyes flicking up to meet yours for only a moment before lowering again. Her words were spoken with the same practiced courtesy all of Alicent’s attendants used, but you could feel the weight of them pressing against you. Requests — no, it was not a request. It never was.
Your gaze lingered on the gown, your chest tightening as a quiet storm brewed within you. You glanced back at the mirror, your reflection staring back at you. Red. The color of Targaryens. Your house. Your blood. Your mother.
But now, green had come to claim you. The queen’s color. The color of peace, they claimed. But you knew better. It was the color of strategy, of quiet conquest. The queen’s influence wrapped around you as tightly as this gown soon would.
You turned slowly to face the handmaiden, your eyes sharp but your expression unreadable. For a moment, neither of you spoke. The silence stretched thin like a thread about to snap.
“…Leave it on the bed,” you said at last, your voice calm but firm. The handmaiden hesitated, perhaps expecting you to argue, but she nodded and placed the gown carefully on your bed. She gave you a small curtsy before slipping out of the room as quietly as she had come.
You stood there, frozen in place, your eyes locked on the gown. It gleamed with an almost unnatural brightness, as if it demanded to be seen. Demanded to be worn.
Your hands curled into fists at your sides. You took a step toward it, your heart pounding in your chest. Every step felt heavier, like you were walking toward a choice you could never take back.
You reached out, fingers hovering just above the soft fabric of the green gown. Your breathing was shallow, each inhale sharp and uneven. This gown would change how they saw you. How she saw you. How they saw you.
Your hand trembled as it hovered between the two choices. Red, the gown you had chosen. Green, the gown she had chosen for you.
As you stood before the mirror, the soft fabric of the green gown slipped over your skin, the color striking against your complexion in a way that felt almost too deliberate. It was beautiful—there was no denying that. But it was more than just fabric. It was a symbol. A symbol of a decision you never wanted to make but felt you had no choice but to accept.
Your fingers trembled as you adjusted the gown, the weight of the choice pressing down on you like a stone. A betrayal. That’s what it felt like. You were wearing the colors of the queen—the very woman who had pulled your mother away from you, who had taken her from the Red Keep, from you. You had always held onto the hope that your mother would return, that she would come back and find you the way you had left her, but now… it felt like you were abandoning her too.
You had never wanted to choose this path, you thought, your eyes staring back at you in the mirror. But a quiet part of you—the part that had been wounded by her departure—found a strange sense of justification in it. This was your answer. Your response to the cold distance she had placed between you and her.
You couldn’t hear your mother’s voice anymore, not in your thoughts, not in your heart. Instead, you heard the sharp command of Queen Alicent, whose presence seemed to linger in every corner of the Keep. A woman who had woven her influence around you so deftly, it was almost invisible, like the subtle green of the gown now hugging your frame.
The handmaidens moved around you with quiet care, pinning your hair into place, but you felt disconnected from their hands. It wasn’t their fault, you knew, but each touch felt like a reminder of everything you had lost. The warmth of your mother’s guidance. The presence of your brothers. The certainty that had once been the foundation of your life. Gone.
Instead, you chose to free your hair. The weight of the green gown already made you feel bound, and the act of letting your hair fall in loose waves around your shoulders felt like a small rebellion. The strands framed your face, a visual testament to the woman you had once been before everything began to crumble.
You glanced at yourself once more in the mirror, the reflection of the woman staring back at you felt unfamiliar. A part of you wanted to scream at the image, to demand that this not be your future, but there was no escaping the reality.
When you were ready, you took a deep breath and turned away from the mirror. Tonight, you would attend the feast. Tonight, you would play your part. But inside, a quiet resolve had settled within you. Whatever came next, you would face it head-on. Just like the Targaryens always had.
Even if you had to sacrifice everything to get there.
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The hallway felt longer than usual, each step echoing in the quiet corridor. The weight of the green gown pressed down on you with every movement, the gold accents catching the dim glow of the torches. Your fingers brushed against the fabric at your sides, grounding yourself as you neared the private solar of King Viserys.
Your heart beat steadily, but with each step closer, it grew louder. You knew what awaited you on the other side of that door. Your family. Your brothers. Your mother.
You hesitated for a moment, glancing at the large wooden doors. Beyond them lay gazes that would judge, eyes that would accuse. Your grip on your skirt tightened, but before you could waver, the doors were pulled open by the guards.
The room was warm with the glow of the hearth, and the soft hum of conversation died instantly as the sound of the doors opening echoed through the space. Every head turned. Every gaze fixed on you.
Your breath hitched in your chest, but you didn’t falter. Your head rose higher, your steps deliberate, slow, and steady. If they would look at you, then you would let them look. You wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of seeing doubt on your face.
The first face you noticed was Jace. His brown eyes widened in shock, his lips parting as if he was about to say something—but he didn’t. His gaze swept over you from head to toe, taking in the unmistakable green of your gown. Disbelief twisted his features into something sharp and pained. Betrayal. That’s what you saw in his eyes.
Luke wasn’t much different. His confusion was more childlike, his brows drawn together, lips pressed into a tight line. He looked up at Jace, as if seeking an explanation for what he was seeing. But Jace’s eyes never left you.
Daemon leaned back in his chair, an amused smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He didn’t look surprised, only entertained, like he had predicted this moment long before it happened. His sharp gaze followed you like a hunter stalking prey, eyes half-lidded with amusement, his fingers drumming lazily on the armrest of his chair.
Then, there was her. Your mother. Her face was unreadable at first, her eyes sharp and searching, like she didn’t recognize you. But slowly, her expression shifted, her lips pressing into a thin, almost pained line. Her eyes softened with something akin to sorrow—or perhaps disappointment.
The silence in the room was suffocating. You could hear the quiet crackle of the fire and the distant call of gulls outside the window. No one spoke. Not yet.
You didn’t dare look at Alicent, though you knew she was watching. You could feel her gaze, steady and unwavering, like a silent claim on you. She had won this battle, and she knew it.
You moved toward the only empty seat, your chin held high as you passed them all. Their stares felt like knives in your back, but you didn’t flinch. You wouldn’t flinch.
When you sat down, your eyes flickered briefly toward Jace. His gaze was still on you, hurt and confusion written plainly on his face. His jaw was tight, and you could see him clenching his fists on his lap, his knuckles white. He leaned in slightly, his voice barely above a whisper but sharp enough to cut through the air.
“Why are you wearing that?”
The words hit you harder than you expected. You glanced at him from the corner of your eye but didn’t answer. What could you say? That you had no choice? That you had been abandoned and left to fend for yourself? No. Jace wouldn’t understand. Not now. Not like this.
Silence lingered for a moment longer before Daemon’s soft chuckle broke it. “Looks like the little dragon has found a new den,” he muttered, his eyes gleaming with mischief. Rhaenyra shot him a warning glare, but he didn’t stop. He tilted his head at you, watching you the way a cat watches a bird.
“Careful, child,” Daemon said, his voice dripping with false sweetness. “Green may suit you now, but remember — dragons breathe fire, not peace.”
Your hands curled in your lap, nails pressing into your palms. You refused to look at him. You refused to give him the reaction he wanted.
“Enough,” Alicent’s voice cut through the air, sharp and commanding. Her presence was like a wave crashing onto the shore, and all eyes turned to her. She stepped forward with the calm authority of a woman who knew she had already won. Her gaze swept over Rhaenyra, over Jace and Luke, over Daemon, and finally settled on you.
“Tonight is meant to be a night of peace,” Alicent said with an air of finality. “We are family, no matter the colors we wear.” Her gaze softened slightly as she looked at you. “And family deserves to be welcomed, not judged.”
You swallowed the lump in your throat, your gaze falling to your lap. Family, she said. But which family did you belong to now?
Jace was still staring at you, his eyes hard but filled with quiet hurt. You had never seen him look at you like that. Like you were a stranger.
Family, you thought bitterly. Whose family do I belong to now?
The weight of the silence hung heavily in the room, broken only by the soft clinking of goblets and the faint crackle of the hearth. You glanced around, feeling the pressure of their stares. Your heart thudded in your chest, but you lifted your chin, unwilling to be seen as weak.
“I did what I had to,” you said firmly, your voice steady but laced with quiet defiance. “No one else stayed for me.”
The words lingered in the air like the smoke from a dying fire. Jace’s eyes narrowed, his brows furrowing deeply. Luke glanced between you and him, uncertainty in his young gaze. Daemon raised a brow, his lips twitching into that infuriating smirk. He tilted his head back and let out a low, amused chuckle, the sound rumbling like distant thunder.
“Spoken like a true player of the game,” Daemon said, raising his goblet in a mock toast before taking a slow sip of wine. “Careful, that kind of thinking will have you wearing a crown before you know it.”
His words dripped with mockery, but there was a glint of something else—approval, perhaps? It was hard to tell with Daemon. His eyes gleamed with mischief, as if he enjoyed the chaos brewing in the room.
The tension was palpable, every breath measured and every glance sharp as blades. Rhaenyra’s eyes were locked on you now, her lips pressed into a thin line. She looked at you not with anger but with something deeper—disappointment. It stung more than you cared to admit.
Before anyone could say another word, the grand doors at the end of the room creaked open. The sound echoed loudly, commanding the attention of every soul in the room.
The slow, uneven footsteps echoed like a drumbeat of fate.
All eyes turned toward the entrance, and there he was. King Viserys. The weight of his crown was visible on his frail body, his once-proud frame now hunched and weakened by disease. His breaths were shallow, his face pale and worn. His robes hung loosely on his frame, and his eyes—though clouded with pain—were still sharp with purpose.
He was not alone. Two Kingsguard knights supported him on either side, their grips firm on his arms as they helped him walk forward. Every step was a struggle, but he pressed on with the resolve of a king who had no time left for weakness.
The room fell utterly silent, all eyes now on him. Even Daemon’s smirk faded as he sat up straighter, his eyes narrowing at his brother’s arrival. Alicent moved forward instinctively, her eyes full of concern, but she did not approach him.
You felt your chest tighten at the sight of him. This was not the man you remembered from your childhood—strong, warm, and full of life. Now, he was a shadow of that man, worn down by years of pain, loss, and duty.
“I am glad…” Viserys’s voice was hoarse but resolute as he was guided to the head of the table. The Kingsguard helped him into his chair, and he leaned back, his chest rising and falling with every labored breath. He lifted his head slowly, his eyes moving over each face in the room. “I am glad… to see my family… together again.”
His words hung in the air like a prayer. No one dared to speak.
His eyes found you, and for a moment, his gaze softened. The tired, weathered king saw you—not as a child, not as a player in the game, but as his granddaughter. His lips twitched into a faint smile, one that you hadn’t seen in so long.
Your throat tightened, and you looked away before anyone could see the shine in your eyes.
Alicent moved to his side, adjusting his blanket as he sat at the head of the table. She whispered something softly in his ear, and he nodded slowly, his gaze never leaving his family. His whole family.
“Tonight,” Viserys said slowly, his voice strained but clear, “we put aside… our grievances. Tonight, we are… one family.” His gaze shifted from Rhaenyra to Alicent, lingering there, as if willing them to understand the weight of his words. “Let us dine as such.”
Silence filled the room once more, but this time, it was different. No sharp gazes. No cutting words. Just the weight of a king’s final wish.
The servants began to move, placing dishes of roasted meats, bread, and fruits onto the long table. The warmth of the food mingled with the warmth of the hearth, and for a moment, the Red Keep felt less like a battleground.
You glanced at Jace. He was still looking at you, his jaw tight, his hands clenching and unclenching. Luke was whispering something to him, trying to pull him back from whatever thoughts had taken hold of him.
You turned your eyes to your plate, suddenly feeling the weight of every gaze upon you. But when you dared to glance up again, you saw him.
King Viserys was still watching you. His eyes, heavy with pain and wisdom, met yours, and for a moment, it felt as if he saw you completely. Not the girl in green. Not the daughter of Rhaenyra. Not the pawn in someone else’s game. Just you.
His lips moved slowly into a smile, small but true. You pressed your lips together, holding back the emotions swirling in your chest.
If only it were that simple, you thought to yourself as you lowered your gaze once more.
The soft melody of the music filled the hall, weaving through the gentle hum of conversation. Plates clattered lightly as servants moved around, pouring wine and placing fresh dishes on the long table. Laughter echoed from different parts of the room, a sound so rare in the Red Keep that it felt almost out of place.
You sat beside Helaena, her gentle smile and quiet musings a welcome comfort in the tense atmosphere. She spoke of her children, her dreams, and the little things she found joy in—like the pattern of a moth’s wings or the way the light danced on water. Her words were simple, yet they felt like a balm to your heart.
A soft laugh escaped you as she made an offhand comment about how “even the crickets have more sense than most lords.” She giggled too, her soft, airy laugh lightening your spirit in a way you hadn’t expected.
But then, your eyes wandered. You didn’t mean for them to, but they did. They found her—your mother.
She was seated at the other end of the table, her face illuminated by the warm glow of the firelight. Her silver-gold hair framed her face like a crown, her smile soft as she leaned toward Daemon. He whispered something to her, his lips close to her ear, and whatever he said made her smile widen, her eyes crinkling with genuine joy.
Genuine joy.
Your heart clenched, a deep ache blooming in your chest. The warmth you felt from Helaena’s laughter was gone, replaced by a dull, hollow pain.
There she was—the mother who had left you behind. The mother who had taken Jace and Luke with her to Dragonstone, but left you alone in the Red Keep. The mother who smiled now, so freely, so openly, as if she had not abandoned you. As if she hadn’t left you to stand among people who questioned your very right to exist.
Her gaze never once drifted to you. Not once.
You swallowed hard, your fingers tightening around the goblet in your hand. Your nails dug into the cool metal as you fought to steady your breathing.
“Does it hurt?” Helaena’s voice was soft, almost distant, as if she were speaking to herself.
Your eyes darted to her. She wasn’t looking at you, her eyes instead focused on the table, tracing patterns on the wood with her finger.
“What?” you asked, your voice quiet but sharp.
“Being unseen,” she said softly, her voice lilting with the strange tone she sometimes took when speaking of things only she understood. Her eyes lifted slowly to meet yours. For a moment, it felt as if she knew. As if she could see everything you’d been trying to hide behind your carefully raised chin and unwavering gaze.
Your throat felt tight. You didn’t know how to answer, so you said nothing. But Helaena only smiled that sad, knowing smile.
“It does,” she said for you. “It hurts.”
Her words settled into the quiet spaces of your heart, filling them with a truth you didn’t want to admit. Your eyes flickered back to your mother, watching as she laughed softly, her hand resting on Daemon’s.
She looks happy, you thought bitterly. She looks happy without me.
Your gaze fell to your lap, your vision blurring slightly. You blinked rapidly, refusing to let the tears fall. Not here. Not in front of them.
But even as you tried to push it down, the weight of it was suffocating. The betrayal. The loneliness. The unspoken truth that, no matter how many times you wore green or smiled for Alicent, it would never be enough. It would never fill the space your mother had left behind.
And yet, here you were. Alone, in a room full of people.
You leaned back in your chair, feigning interest as Aegon rambled on about his day with his usual blend of arrogance and mischief. His words drifted in and out of your mind, more noise than substance, until a presence settled beside you — steady, calm, and unmistakable.
You glanced to your side and met Aemond’s eye. His gaze was sharp, as it always was, but there was something more tonight. Without a word, he extended his hand toward you. His fingers were long and calloused, his palm facing up — an offering.
“Shall we dance?” His voice was low, a quiet murmur meant only for you.
For a moment, you hesitated. You knew every eye would be on you if you accepted. You knew Jace and Luke were watching, just as you knew your mother would see it too. But as you glanced around the room, you saw her still seated with Daemon, her gaze not even flickering in your direction.
She doesn’t care.
So, you placed your hand in Aemond’s, your fingers curling lightly around his. His grip was firm but not unkind. Together, you rose from your chair, the weight of a hundred stares pressing on your back as you walked to the center of the room.
The soft hum of voices dimmed, replaced by the quiet, expectant melody of the music. Every step echoed louder than it should have, but you kept your head high, your gaze unwavering.
Behind you, you could hear them.
“She’s changed,” Luke muttered, his voice sharp with disbelief.
“She’s with them now,” Jace replied, bitterness lacing his tone. “Look at her.”
You didn’t turn around. You didn’t give them the satisfaction.
Aemond’s hand found its place on your waist, his other hand still holding yours. His gaze remained fixed on you, as intense as the flames that lined the hall. You placed your hand on his shoulder, and for a moment, the world fell away.
The music guided you both, your movements precise, controlled. Each step, each turn, was deliberate. There was no softness in Aemond’s hold, but there was control — sharp, steady, and sure. It was nothing like the dances you had shared with Jace in your childhood. Those had been filled with laughter, stumbling steps, and teasing grins. This was something else entirely.
“You wear green well,” Aemond said, his eye flickering down to take in your gown. “It suits you better than red ever did.”
You didn’t answer at first, letting the silence linger between you as you spun together. His words were a test, you knew that. But you were not a child anymore.
“Green is a color of peace,” you replied evenly, your eyes meeting his. “Strange how it always seems to follow war.”
His lips twitched at that, just a slight upward pull at the corner, too small to be called a smile. “Peace is often born of fire and blood,” he said, his voice as sharp as the edge of a blade.
You twirled under his arm, the fabric of your gown sweeping the floor like a wave. As he caught you back into his hold, you felt his grip tighten ever so slightly. Not enough to hurt, but enough to remind you that he was there — that he would always be watching.
“You hear them, don’t you?” he asked, tilting his head ever so slightly toward Jace and Luke. Their voices were quieter now, but you could still hear the murmurs of your brothers behind you, still feel their gazes burning into your back.
“I do,” you admitted softly, eyes distant for a moment before you refocused on him. “But it doesn’t matter.”
Aemond tilted his head, studying you with a look that felt too knowing for comfort. “Doesn’t it?” he murmured, his voice so low it was nearly lost to the music.
You didn’t answer. You didn’t need to.
Because deep down, it did matter. It mattered that Jace and Luke saw you. It mattered that your mother didn’t. And it mattered that you were here, in a green gown, dancing with the man they hated most in the world.
But you wouldn’t let it show. Not tonight.
So you held Aemond’s gaze with all the strength you had left and let him lead you across the floor. For once, you didn’t falter. Not even when Jace’s voice cut through the air one last time.
“Traitor.”
The word was quiet, but it struck like a sword.
You felt Aemond stiffen ever so slightly, his hand pressing more firmly against your back. His gaze flicked briefly past you, his lips curling into something far too dangerous to be called a smile.
“Ignore him,” you said softly, your voice steady despite the way your heart ached. “He still thinks love will save him.”
Aemond’s gaze returned to you, his expression unreadable. “And what do you think will save you?”
You looked at him for a moment, really looked at him, and for once, you let yourself be honest.
“Nothing.”
As the final notes of the dance faded, you began to step back from Aemond, only for another hand to seize yours with a sudden, playful grip. You turned, startled, to see Aegon standing there with his ever-present smirk.
“Mind if I steal her, brother?” he drawled, his voice laced with mockery as he gave Aemond a pointed look. Without waiting for a reply, he pulled you toward him with a dramatic spin, earning a few quiet chuckles from onlookers.
“Aegon,” you muttered, a hint of exasperation in your tone. His antics were as familiar as the Red Keep’s stone walls.
“What?” he said with a grin, placing one hand on your waist and holding your hand with the other. “I figured you’d had enough of the one-eyed shadow for one night.”
You glanced briefly at Aemond, who stood at the edge of the dance floor. His face was a mask of indifference, but his gaze followed your every move.
“Careful, Aegon,” you warned, your eyes narrowing. “You’re starting to sound brave. Bravery doesn’t suit you.”
He barked a short laugh, spinning you with a surprising amount of grace. “Bravery suits me just fine, dear niece,” he teased, his grin sharper now. “But wine suits me better.”
You rolled your eyes but allowed him to lead the dance. He wasn’t as precise as Aemond, nor as steady. His steps were a bit too loose, his movements too relaxed, but somehow, it still felt easy. There was no tension, no pretense. Just him being the same Aegon you had always known.
“You’re quiet tonight,” he said after a moment, his grin dimming into something softer. His voice had lost its usual edge. “Not like you.”
You glanced up at him, surprised by the shift in his tone. He wasn’t mocking you, not this time. He was looking at you with something that almost resembled concern.
“I suppose I’ve had a lot to think about,” you replied, glancing down for a moment.
“Ah,” he hummed knowingly. “Let me guess — it’s them, isn’t it?”
You didn’t answer, but your silence was enough. He gave you a slow nod, his face unusually serious.
“Don’t let it get to you,” Aegon muttered, his eyes flickering toward where Jace and Luke sat. “They’ll always hate you for standing where they can’t reach.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” you replied quietly. “They never loved you to begin with.”
His eyes snapped back to yours, sharper than before. For a moment, you thought you’d gone too far, but then he snorted a bitter laugh. “True enough,” he muttered, his gaze distant for a heartbeat before he looked at you again. “But that’s exactly why I can tell you this — it’s better to be hated than forgotten.”
His words hit harder than you expected. You knew what it felt like to be forgotten. You’d been living with that feeling since the day your mother left you in the Red Keep.
“You think I should be proud of it, then?” you asked, your voice quieter now.
Aegon tilted his head, his grin returning, but it was smaller this time — almost sad. “No,” he said. “But you should wear it like armor. People are less likely to stab you if they know the blade won’t break you.”
You both moved in silence for a while, the music filling the space between words. His grip was looser than Aemond’s, but there was something comforting about it. No pretense, no expectation. Just Aegon being Aegon.
When the dance finally ended, he leaned in close, his breath smelling faintly of wine. “You look good in green,” he whispered, his voice too low for anyone else to hear. “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”
He pulled away with a wink, leaving you standing in the middle of the floor as he sauntered off toward the wine table. You stood there for a moment, letting his words settle.
Your gaze drifted back to your brothers. Jace was staring at you, his jaw tight, his eyes filled with a mix of anger and disbelief. Luke sat beside him, quieter but no less disappointed. Their faces said everything they wouldn’t.
But you remembered Aegon’s words — it’s better to be hated than forgotten.
So, with steady hands, you lifted your chin, turned away from them, and walked back toward the table where Alicent and Helaena were waiting.
Alicent’s gaze lingered on you as you returned to your seat. Her smile was warm, almost maternal, as if she were proud of you for wearing the green. She reached out to adjust a stray strand of your hair, tucking it gently behind your ear.
“You did well,” she whispered, her voice as soft as silk. “They see you now.”
You nodded, offering her a small, strained smile. But the weight of it all sat heavy on your chest.
King Viserys, seated at the head of the table, raised his cup, his voice raspy but firm as he addressed the gathered family. “It brings me great joy,” he began, pausing to catch his breath, “to see my family together again.” His gaze flickered between you, Jace, Luke, and your mother. “My grandchildren… soon to be wed. Jace to Baela, Luke to Rhaena. A union that will strengthen our house for generations to come.”
The room erupted in polite applause, but you barely heard it. Your eyes flicked toward Jace, who was watching you closely, his face unreadable but his gaze sharp.
Then, as if struck by a sudden idea, Viserys coughed and leaned forward, his eyes searching the faces at the table. “But there is another of my grandchildren whose future we must also secure.” His gaze stopped on you. “She has grown strong, wise… and beautiful.”
You felt every eye in the room shift toward you. Your heart began to pound in your chest.
“Yes,” Viserys continued, his smile soft but determined. “It is only right that we speak of her future as well. A match that will honor her lineage and ensure her protection in these troubled times.”
Silence fell over the room, thick with unspoken tension. Your hands gripped the edge of your chair as you glanced at your mother. She sat stiffly, her face a mask of calm, but her eyes were fixed on you with a mixture of concern and calculation.
Daemon raised an eyebrow, leaning back in his chair as if amused by the sudden shift in conversation. His eyes darted toward Alicent, catching the faintest twitch of her smile.
“An excellent suggestion, my love,” Alicent said, her tone smooth and agreeable. She glanced at you, her eyes filled with something you couldn’t quite place. Pride? Possession? “She is of age, after all. And there are many fine suitors who would be honored to claim her hand.”
Your chest tightened as you realized what was happening. They weren’t talking to you — they were talking about you, as if you were a prize to be bargained over.
“Her future should be decided with care,” Rhaenyra interjected, her tone sharp, her eyes cutting toward Alicent. “She is still young, and such decisions must be made with her consent.”
Alicent tilted her head, a gentle smile still on her face. “Of course, Princess,” she said sweetly. “But surely, as her mother, you must understand the urgency of ensuring her safety. A strong match would protect her from the dangers that surround us all.”
“Her safety was never in doubt until you made it so,” Rhaenyra shot back, her voice laced with venom.
Viserys raised his hand, his face twisted with exhaustion. “Enough,” he rasped, his voice strained but firm. “This is a family matter, not a battlefield.” He turned his gaze back to you, his eyes soft with affection. “My dear girl, you will have a say in this. No match will be made without your will. You have my word.”
For a moment, you felt relief wash over you. But then Daemon’s quiet laugh echoed from the other end of the table.
“Words are wind,” he muttered into his cup of wine, glancing sidelong at Viserys. “Promises mean little when thrones are at stake.”
His words hung in the air, sharp and cutting. Alicent’s fingers drummed softly against the table, her gaze flicking toward Aemond, who sat with his arms crossed, his face as unreadable as ever.
Aegon let out a low chuckle, leaning toward you with that same mischievous grin. “Careful, little niece,” he whispered, his breath warm with the scent of wine. “They’ll have you betrothed before dessert.”
Your eyes darted to him, but you said nothing. Your mind was already racing. You could feel it — the weight of it all pressing down on you. It wasn’t a choice. It never had been.
Aemond’s voice broke through the tension like a blade through silk. “If she must marry, it should be someone worthy.”
His single eye landed on you, sharp as a dragon’s gaze. He didn’t smile. He didn’t blink. His words carried no jest, only a cold, calculated certainty.
“Someone strong,” he added, his eye slowly moving toward Jace. “Someone who knows the meaning of loyalty.”
Jace leaned forward, his eyes locked on Aemond, his jaw clenched tight. “Careful, uncle,” he muttered. “Loyalty is a word you use when you have none of it yourself.”
The table grew still. The air was so tense it felt like the walls themselves were holding their breath.
But you could feel it. This wasn’t about you anymore. This was about them. All of them. Your fate was just another piece on the board.
Silence fell over the room like a shroud. Every movement stopped — goblets paused mid-air, glances darted from one face to another. You froze, your breath caught in your chest.
King Viserys leaned forward in his chair, his milky eyes filled with quiet determination. “Aemond is a fine match,” he said, his voice hoarse but resolute. “A bond of blood. A union that will heal the wounds that have festered far too long.”
Your eyes darted to your mother. Rhaenyra’s face was pale but firm, her lips pressed into a thin, unmoving line. Her eyes found yours, silently pleading with you to stay calm.
Daemon let out a low, mocking laugh, swirling the wine in his cup. “A fine match, indeed,” he drawled, his sharp eyes flicking between Viserys and Alicent. “How convenient for some.”
Alicent kept her composure, folding her hands neatly in front of her. Her gaze shifted to you, her eyes filled with gentle resolve. “It is a wise decision, husbanb” she said softly, her tone carrying the weight of finality. “It strengthens the family, unites the bloodlines, and ensures her protection. It is what’s best for her.”
You glanced at Aemond. He sat still, his face carved from stone, his single violet eye locked on the table in front of him. No flicker of surprise, no sign of agreement or resistance. Just silence.
“Has anyone asked her?” Rhaenyra’s voice rang out, sharp as a blade. Her gaze burned with defiance. “Has anyone thought to ask my daughter what she wants?”
Viserys turned his gaze to you, his expression softening. “What say you, child?” he asked gently, his voice kind but expectant. “Would you accept this match for the good of the realm? For the good of your family?”
Every gaze in the room turned toward you. Jace stared at you in disbelief, his mouth opening as if to speak but no words came out. Luke’s wide, innocent eyes were full of confusion and hurt.
You felt your heart pounding in your chest. This was it. They were offering you the illusion of choice, but you knew the truth. This was not your decision to make.
Your eyes moved back to Aemond. His gaze was on you now, piercing and unwavering. He said nothing, but something about the intensity of his stare unsettled you. There was no kindness in it, no affection — only cold, hard calculation.
Rhaenyra rose from her seat, her voice trembling with barely restrained rage. “She is a child, Father. My child. She is not a pawn to be traded for your fleeting sense of peace.”
“She is not a child anymore, Rhaenyra,” Alicent replied, her voice deceptively soft but firm. Her eyes stayed on you, unyielding. “She is a young woman, and a young woman of her station must understand the duties that come with it.”
Rhaenyra’s eyes narrowed, her chest heaving with quiet fury. “You mean your duties, don’t you, Alicent? Duties that serve only your ambitions.”
“Enough!” Viserys’s voice boomed, louder than you had ever heard it before. His eyes burned with a fleeting glimpse of the king he once was. “We are family, and family must stand together!” His gaze softened once more as it returned to you. “Child, speak your heart. I will hear you.”
The weight of every gaze in the room pressed down on you like a mountain. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears. Speak your heart, he said, as if it would truly matter.
Aemond tilted his head slightly, his eye still locked on you, studying you as if he already knew what you would say. He didn’t move, didn’t breathe — he simply watched.
Jace leaned forward, his voice low but firm. “You don’t have to do this,” he said, his eyes searching yours. “Say no.”
But Daemon snorted, raising his cup in mock salute. “Say no, and they’ll find another way to force you,” he muttered, taking a slow sip of wine.
The silence stretched, endless and suffocating. Your gaze met your mother’s once more. She gave you the barest shake of her head, her eyes pleading with you to refuse. But in those same eyes, you saw something else — helplessness. If you said no, it would change nothing.
You took a slow, steadying breath, feeling your fingers tremble at your sides. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were supposed to have a choice.
“Grandfather,” you said softly, your voice steadier than you felt. “If this is what is best for the realm… then I will not refuse it.”
Rhaenyra’s face crumpled like parchment. “No,” she whispered, taking a step toward you. “No, don’t do this. You don’t have to—”
“I do,” you said, cutting her off, your eyes flicking to hers with quiet resolve. “I do.”
The room erupted in murmurs. Luke’s small voice echoed faintly in the background, “Sister…?” Jace slammed his hand on the table, his chair scraping back as he stood. His face was flushed with anger and betrayal.
“You’re letting them use you,” Jace hissed, his voice trembling. “You’re letting them win.”
You turned away from him, your gaze fixed firmly on the stone floor. If you looked at him, at Luke, at your mother — you knew your resolve would crumble.
“Then it is decided,” Viserys declared, his tone final, his breath heavy with exertion. “The betrothal is sealed. She will wed to Aemond.”
Aemond finally moved. He stood slowly, his eyes never leaving you. He walked toward you, his footsteps steady and deliberate. When he stopped in front of you, he reached out his hand, palm up.
You stared at it for a moment, heart pounding, before placing your hand in his. His grip was firm, almost too firm, his fingers cold like steel. His face remained impassive, but his eye burned with something you couldn’t quite name.
Possession.
“Wise choice,” he said quietly, his lips barely moving. “You’ll find I am not as cruel as others would have you believe.”
The words were meant to be reassuring, but they sent a chill down your spine.
Rhaenyra was staring at you, her face hollow with betrayal and heartbreak. Jace’s eyes burned with disbelief and fury. Luke, sweet Luke, simply looked confused and hurt, like a child who didn’t understand why the world had suddenly changed.
Alicent placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, her touch light but firm. “You will be well cared for, my dear,” she said softly, as if she had won a great victory. “This is the beginning of a new future for you.”
But you knew the truth.
You hadn’t won anything.
You’d been claimed.
The room fell into a suffocating silence. All eyes turned to you as the words you had never dared to say finally spilled from your lips.
“You have no right over me, Mother. Not after you left me."
Your voice was steady, but the weight of it was undeniable. Rhaenyra flinched as if you had struck her. Her eyes widened, her breath caught in her chest.
“I left to protect you,” she said, her voice shaking with emotion. “I left to protect all of you."
“No, you didn’t,” you replied, your voice rising with the anger that had simmered for far too long. Your hands curled into fists at your sides. “You left with Jace. You left with Luke. You left with Daemon. But you left me here — alone.” Your chest heaved with each breath, and every word dripped with the pain you’d been forced to swallow for so long.
Jace took a step forward, his face contorted with guilt and disbelief. “It wasn’t like that—”
“It was exactly like that!” you snapped, cutting him off. Your gaze turned to him, your brother who had always been your partner in everything — until he wasn’t. “You followed her, didn’t you? You followed her to Dragonstone, and you didn’t look back. Not once.”
Luke’s wide eyes filled with tears, his small voice barely a whisper. “We didn’t want to leave you…”
You shook your head, your lips pressed together tightly. You didn’t want to hear it. Not now. Not when the wounds were already wide open.
“Don’t pretend it wasn’t a choice,” you said coldly, eyes locked on Rhaenyra. “You chose them. You chose Daemon. You chose your crown. But you did not choose me.”
Rhaenyra stepped toward you, her eyes desperate. “I never stopped loving you,” she pleaded, her voice cracking under the weight of her own guilt. “I thought you’d be safe here, with your grandsire —”
“Safe?” you echoed bitterly, your eyes narrowing. “Do you even know what it’s like to live here without you? To have everyone whispering about me, calling me a bastard to my face? ” Your voice broke, but you didn’t care. “You weren’t here, Mother. You don’t get to decide for me now.”
“How dare you speak to me like that?” Rhaenyra’s voice was trembling with a mix of disbelief and hurt. Her face twisted in pain, as though you had struck her. “You are my daughter—”
“You left me,” you interrupted, your voice cold and steady despite the pain that twisted in your chest. “You left me alone here, and now you’re telling me what I should do with my life? You have no claim over me anymore.”
The words stung, even as you said them, but there was a part of you that felt a small sense of relief. Finally, the weight of everything you had held in for so long had been released.
Rhaenyra’s eyes searched yours, her lips trembling as though she were trying to find the right words, but they eluded her. “You know that I had no choice… I did what I had to do for my children.”
“Your children? What about me?” you asked, your voice rising despite yourself. “What about me? I was supposed to be your daughter, your priority. But you left. You chose Dragonstone over me, over us.”
Her eyes filled with sorrow, and for the first time, you saw the weight of her guilt. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.
The weight of your words settled over the room like a storm cloud. Jace looked at you as if he didn’t recognize you anymore. Luke looked heartbroken, tears spilling down his cheeks. Even Daemon, so often unbothered by the chaos around him, regarded you with quiet curiosity, his eyes sharp with recognition.
But it was Rhaenyra who wore the most pained expression. Her lips quivered as if she wanted to say something, anything, to refute your words. But she couldn’t.
Alicent stepped forward then, her presence steady and deliberate. She placed a gentle hand on your back, a silent show of support. Her green dress shimmered in the light of the flames, and for the first time, it didn’t feel suffocating. It felt safe.
“She has spoken her mind, Princess,” Alicent said softly, though her gaze was firm. “Her choice is clear.”
“Her choice was forced,” Rhaenyra shot back, her eyes blazing with fury as she turned on Alicent. “Do not pretend you had no hand in this, Alicent.”
“I did nothing but offer her a place where she was valued,” Alicent replied, her voice smooth as silk. Her hand remained on your back, grounding you. “Can you say the same, Rhaenyra?”
The words hit like a dagger. Rhaenyra’s breath hitched, her eyes darting to yours as if searching for something — forgiveness, understanding, hope. But you gave her none of it.
“Leave it, Mother,” you said, your voice hollow. Your eyes dropped to the floor, no longer able to look at her. “It’s already done.”
Your gaze lifted to Aemond, his sharp features calm but watchful. He said nothing, merely offering a small nod, as if he knew this moment had been inevitable.
Rhaenyra took a step forward, but you stepped back, shaking your head slowly. “Don’t.”
Her eyes filled with tears, and she clenched her fists at her sides. “I’m still your mother.”
“Then act like it,” you whispered, your voice cutting through the air like a blade. “But you don’t get to act like it now.”
Aemond, standing at your side, watched the exchange silently. He didn’t speak either, his face unreadable. But there was something in the air between you — a quiet understanding, perhaps. He didn’t need to say anything because the truth had already been laid bare.
Finally, it was Viserys who broke the silence, his voice shaking with the effort. “Enough,” he rasped, his frail form leaning heavily on his cane. “This is not the time for more conflict. Let us move forward with peace.”
But Rhaenyra’s eyes never left you. “I won’t let this happen,” she whispered, almost to herself. “You will not be forced into a marriage you don’t want, not by him.” Her voice was a low growl, filled with desperation and a hint of defiance.
“I’ve already made my decision, Mother,” you said, the words heavy on your tongue. “And I’m not asking for your approval anymore.”
The room seemed to shrink in the silence that followed. Rhaenyra’s face crumbled, the weight of your words settling deep within her. But you couldn’t bring yourself to regret them.
Daemon’s laugh echoed through the hall, cruel and mocking. “There it is, Rhaenyra,” he sneered, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Your precious daughter, no longer your little princess.”
Aemond took a step closer to you, his presence solid and unyielding. The tension was palpable, but he said nothing, only standing by your side as your mother and Daemon exchanged heated glances.
For a moment, you felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders, and yet, for the first time in what felt like forever, you felt a sense of freedom.
The silence stretched on, and though the room was heavy with unspoken words and emotions, you knew one thing for certain: you would no longer let your mother dictate your life. You would not be a pawn in this game anymore.
The decision had been made. And nothing would change it.
The sudden pull of Jace’s hand, harsh and forceful, sent a jolt of pain through you. You winced, feeling the weight of his grip, but your heart ached more from the words you knew were about to follow.
“Stop, Jace!” you gasped, struggling to break free from his hold. “Let me go!”
But he didn’t listen. His face was twisted with anger and desperation, and his eyes were filled with hurt as he tried to pull you away from the chaos, as though he could fix everything. “You can’t do this! You can’t marry him, you—”
Before he could finish, Aemond stepped forward, his hand swiftly clasping Jace’s wrist, pulling it away from you with surprising strength. The tension between the two brothers crackled in the air, and the room fell silent for a brief moment, everyone holding their breath.
“Let her go,” Aemond said, his voice low but commanding, his eyes never leaving Jace’s.
But Jace wasn’t done. In a fit of rage, he swung his free hand at Aemond, landing a sharp blow to his face. The room erupted with shocked gasps as Aemond stumbled back, more surprised than hurt, but his glare burned with intensity.
“You will not touch her,” Jace spat, his chest heaving with anger. “Not like this. Not ever.”
“Enough!” you shouted, your voice shaking but firm. The words felt like they came from somewhere deep inside, pushing past the confusion and hurt you felt. “Enough, Jace!”
You tore your hand from Aemond’s grasp and turned to face your brother. Your eyes, filled with a mixture of anger and sorrow, locked onto Jace’s. “You are not my brother anymore,” you said, the words leaving your lips like poison. “Not after everything you’ve done to me. Not after you abandoned me here, alone.”
Jace froze, the words sinking into him like daggers. His eyes softened, as if he didn’t understand what you were saying, but the hurt in your voice was undeniable.
“You think you can control my life just because we’re family?” you continued, your voice shaking with emotion. “You don’t get to decide what happens to me, not anymore. Not when you’ve done nothing but leave me to fight for myself.”
Aemond, now standing tall beside you, didn’t move, but his presence was a stark contrast to the chaos around you. He watched you with an unreadable expression, his hand still clenched at his side.
Jace stood there, his anger faltering as he processed your words, but his face twisted with disbelief. “I never left you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve always been here for you.”
“No,” you responded coldly, shaking your head. “You haven’t. Not when it mattered.”
The silence in the room was deafening, the weight of your words hanging in the air like a thick fog. The tension was so thick you could almost feel it pressing against your skin.
Jace took a step back, his face crumpling with a mix of guilt and confusion, but you didn’t look at him. You couldn’t. Not when everything you once believed in had been shattered so completely.
Without another word, you turned away from Jace, your heart heavy with the painful truth that you no longer recognized the people who were once closest to you. You didn’t look back as you walked toward the exit, your steps steady but filled with a new sense of resolve.
This was no longer a family. This was a war, and you had chosen your side.
Alicent’s arms enveloped you, pulling you into a tight embrace. Her warmth, unexpected and gentle, washed over you, grounding you in the midst of the chaos. For the first time in so long, you allowed yourself to break. Tears, which you had kept bottled up for so long, finally spilled down your face as you buried your head in her chest.
You had been strong for so long, but in this moment, the weight of everything—your family’s betrayal, your pain, and the overwhelming sense of loneliness—became too much. You cried in silence, unable to stop the flow of emotions.
Alicent didn’t say anything, but her hold on you tightened, a silent comfort that you hadn’t known you needed. She didn’t judge you, didn’t try to fix things; she just let you cry, offering a shoulder when the rest of the world seemed too cold to care.
Through your tears, you caught sight of your mother standing at the other end of the room, her eyes filled with sorrow. There was no anger, no harsh words—just a deep sadness. She looked at you as if she understood, as if she saw the broken pieces of the child she had left behind.
But that only made the pain worse. Her gaze pierced you, a reminder of the distance that had grown between you both. She didn’t come to you, didn’t offer comfort, and that only deepened the wound in your heart.
Alicent seemed to sense the shift in your emotions. She gently pulled away, cupping your face in her hands, her green eyes meeting yours with an understanding that felt both foreign and familiar. “You don’t have to face this alone,” she whispered softly.
You nodded, wiping your tears away, though they kept falling. But you knew, deep down, you had already made your choice. You had already chosen who would be there for you, who would stand by you when your family turned their back. And as much as it hurt, you knew the road ahead would be one you would walk alone, despite the faint hope that things could have been different.
Your mother’s eyes lingered on you from afar, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at her. Not now. Not yet.
The silence between you and Aemond as you walked toward your chamber was deafening. Every step seemed to stretch on forever, the weight of what had just been decided pressing down on you like an unbearable burden. You couldn’t even bring yourself to speak, the words trapped in your throat, your emotions tangled up in confusion, anger, and sorrow.
Aemond, for his part, said nothing either. His usually sharp, intense gaze was focused ahead, but there was an odd stillness to him. You could feel his presence beside you, the tension in the air thick enough to be felt, but there was no comfort in it. He didn’t offer any words of solace, nor did he attempt to break the silence. It was as though both of you were stuck in a strange limbo—neither fully facing what had just happened nor able to walk away from it.
As you reached the door to your room, Aemond stopped, his hand briefly resting on the handle before he turned to look at you. His expression was unreadable, but his eyes seemed to search yours for something—maybe understanding, maybe regret, or perhaps something else entirely.
“You should rest,” he said finally, his voice low, almost indifferent. “There will be much to prepare for in the coming days.”
You nodded, your gaze dropping to the floor. You didn’t trust yourself to speak, not without breaking down, not without giving voice to the emotions swirling inside of you. The last thing you wanted was to show any more weakness in front of him, or anyone, for that matter.
Aemond hesitated for a moment longer, then, almost imperceptibly, he nodded. “I’ll leave you to your thoughts then.” He turned and walked away, his footsteps fading as he left you standing at the threshold of your room.
As the door closed softly behind you, you let out a shaky breath, the floodgates inside of you threatening to open. But you held yourself together. You couldn’t afford to break—not now, not in front of anyone.
Your mind raced as you stared at the empty space in front of you. The reality of the situation seemed impossible to accept. The wedding, the marriage, everything that had just been decided felt like it belonged to someone else, not you.
But there was no escaping it. This was your fate now. And no matter how much you wanted to rebel, to run, you knew you were tied to this family, to these bloodlines. The only thing left to do was endure.
With a heavy heart, you collapsed onto your bed, burying your face in your hands as the tears finally came.
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As you walked through the quiet garden, the path ahead was bathed in the soft glow of the setting sun. The air was cool, a slight breeze carrying the scent of blooming flowers, but it did little to calm the storm raging inside you. Your heart felt heavy with every step, each one taking you further from the bright, unbearable reality of your wedding preparations.
You couldn’t escape the thoughts that constantly echoed in your mind—the betrayal, the abandonment, the silence that had grown between you and your family. It was impossible to reconcile what was happening with the love and loyalty you once felt for them.
In the distance, you spotted Jace and Luke, their figures emerging from the trees, walking toward you. They had likely come to try and make amends, to explain themselves, but you knew their words wouldn’t change anything now.
You stopped in your tracks, holding up your hand to stop them before they could reach you. Your chest tightened, and a coldness crept over you. You had once been close to them, but now… now they were strangers to you. Their betrayal, their silence in the face of your suffering, stung deeper than anything else.
“Don’t,” you said, your voice cold and firm, though the pain behind it was undeniable. “I don’t want to hear it. I hate you both.”
The words hung in the air, heavier than you expected. Jace’s face faltered, his expression one of shock, but Luke—Luke’s eyes were full of something that hurt even more: regret. Yet, none of it mattered. It couldn’t matter.
They didn’t deserve your forgiveness, not after everything that had happened. Not after they had stood by as your life was stolen from you, as you were cast aside in favor of their own selfish desires.
Jace opened his mouth, as if to speak, but you shook your head, silencing him. You didn’t want to hear any more excuses or apologies. You had heard it all before, but it was never enough.
“Go back to your own lives,” you added, your voice trembling slightly despite the anger. “Stay out of mine.”
Without another word, you turned away from them, walking quickly in the opposite direction. You could feel their eyes on your back, but you didn’t care. There was no turning back now. You had made your decision, and it was too late for apologies.
As you left them behind in the garden, a part of you felt a strange emptiness—an ache where the love you once had for them used to reside. But you knew it was for the best. There could be no more pretending. You couldn’t keep clinging to people who had abandoned you when you needed them most.
You entered your room, the weight of the day’s preparations still heavy on your shoulders, only to be met by the presence of Alicent and Helaena. They were waiting for you, their faces soft with anticipation. Helaena smiled warmly at you, her eyes filled with quiet admiration, while Alicent’s gaze was approving, though there was something more restrained in her expression.
“Come, my dear,” Alicent said gently, guiding you toward the mirror. “It’s time to try on the gown.”
The dress, a stunning white creation, shimmered under the light as you stepped into it. The fabric clung to your form in all the right places, its delicate lace and intricate embroidery making you feel like you were stepping into a dream, albeit one you never wished for. The gown was undoubtedly beautiful, but it was also a constant reminder of the role you had to play in this political arrangement.
As you stood in front of the mirror, Alicent and Helaena’s gazes lingered on you, their approval evident.
“You will be the most beautiful bride the realm has ever seen,” Helaena said softly, her voice filled with wonder. “The gown suits you perfectly.”
Alicent nodded, a faint smile on her lips. “Indeed. Aemond is lucky to have you. This marriage will solidify not only your family’s power but also your beauty, my dear.”
You felt their words, meant to be comforting, yet they seemed hollow. In that moment, the gown felt like a shackle more than a symbol of celebration. The compliments were warm, but they couldn’t erase the feelings of betrayal, the weight of your family’s expectations, and the uncertainty of what your future with Aemond would hold.
Still, you forced a smile, nodding as they admired the way the gown fit you. “Thank you,” you said quietly, though your heart wasn’t in it. “It’s beautiful.”
Alicent’s expression softened, as if sensing the quiet storm raging within you. She placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, offering a small, reassuring smile. “This is a new beginning for you. You must embrace it, no matter how difficult.”
But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t a new beginning at all—it was the closing of another chapter, one that left you questioning everything you thought you knew about your family, your future, and yourself.
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As you sat alone in your room, your gaze fixed on the flickering flames of the fireplace, the warmth doing little to chase away the chill in your heart. The weight of the approaching wedding, the tension in the castle, and the heavy silence that seemed to engulf you were overwhelming. For a moment, you closed your eyes, hoping to escape the reality of your situation, but then a sound broke through your thoughts—the scraping of stone against stone, followed by a faint, almost imperceptible sound of footsteps.
You turned, startled, as a figure emerged from the shadows at the far end of the room. Aemond. His presence, once so commanding, now seemed almost surreal as he stepped from the darkness of the secret passage. The cold air of the corridor seemed to follow him, making the room feel even colder than before.
“I needed to see you,” Aemond’s voice broke the silence, low and steady, as he closed the distance between you. His pale eyes locked onto yours, unreadable, as always.
You remained silent, unsure of what to say. He was always like this—so distant, yet somehow insistent on maintaining his place in your life, even when it felt as if there was nothing between you but obligation.
Aemond’s eyes flicked to the fire, then back to you. “I know this marriage isn’t what you want,” he said quietly, his tone almost softer than you’d expected. “But it’s necessary. For both of us.”
You could feel a mix of emotions swirling inside you. His words, though practical, didn’t erase the hurt, the resentment, the confusion. He stood there, seemingly unaffected by the circumstances, and yet… his presence in your room, at this moment, felt like a faint attempt at connection. An attempt that was too little, too late.
“Necessary,” you repeated, your voice carrying a bitter edge. “Yes, I know.” You turned back toward the fire, trying to keep the emotions from spilling over. “For both of us. But what about what I want? Or what you want, Aemond? Is this really what either of us wanted, or is it just what’s been forced upon us?”
He remained silent for a moment, his gaze never leaving you. When he spoke again, it was measured, almost as if he were considering every word carefully.
“I don’t know if I want it,” he admitted, his voice surprisingly honest. “But I have a duty. And so do you.” His words hung in the air between you like a heavy cloud. “This marriage… It’s just another duty to be fulfilled, nothing more. But we’ll get through it, together.”
The weight of his words settled in your chest like a stone. You turned to face him fully, trying to find any trace of sincerity in his eyes, any indication that he might understand what you were feeling, what you were going through. But there was nothing. Only cold determination.
“Together,” you echoed, the word tasting bitter on your tongue. “Yes, I suppose we will.”
Aemond’s gaze softened for the briefest moment, but it was gone before you could fully process it. He looked away, his jaw tightening as if he were trying to steady himself against the emotions you both knew were lurking beneath the surface.
“You should rest,” he said quietly, his voice no longer as firm. “Tomorrow will be another busy day.”
You nodded, though you felt no comfort in his words. There was no rest for you, not with the weight of the coming days pressing down on your shoulders.
You looked at Aemond, a mixture of emotions swirling within you. His presence, despite the weight of your situation, somehow brought a sense of comfort—something you hadn’t realized you craved. You didn’t understand why, but for a fleeting moment, it felt like you weren’t entirely alone.
“Aemond…” you began, your voice soft but tinged with something that resembled vulnerability. “Stay. Just for a little while.”
His gaze met yours, his sharp, cold eyes seemingly surprised by your request, but he didn’t speak, just took a hesitant step closer, as if he, too, felt the strange pull between you. But before either of you could say anything more, a sharp knock on the door broke the silence.
You froze for a moment, instinctively bracing yourself. It was your mother. You could hear her voice—gentle but strained—calling from the other side.
“May I come in?”
Aemond’s presence suddenly felt too heavy, too dangerous in this moment. You didn’t want your mother to see him, not now, not like this. You quickly motioned for Aemond to hide, a silent plea in your eyes. His jaw clenched, but after a long pause, he nodded and slipped into the shadows of the room, his figure vanishing from sight like a shadow in the dim light.
You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for what was to come, and then called out.
“Come in.”
The door creaked open, and there she stood—your mother, her face etched with a mixture of regret and sadness. She stepped in cautiously, her eyes searching you as if she were looking for some sign of forgiveness. But you felt none. Not yet. Maybe never.
“I wanted to apologize,” she said, her voice trembling with emotion. “I should never have left you alone here. I… I failed you, and I know that.”
You felt a coldness settle in your chest as you looked at her, the years of pain and abandonment rising to the surface like a tide you couldn’t stop. Your heart, once full of love for her, now felt numb.
“I’m not sure that apology matters anymore,” you replied, your tone flat, devoid of the warmth you used to give her. “You left. And I was left behind. I’ve learned to live without you.”
Her face fell, a tear slipping down her cheek. But you couldn’t bring yourself to care. It wasn’t about the apology anymore. It was about what she had done—and what she hadn’t done when you needed her most.
“Please,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “I’m so sorry. Please don’t shut me out.”
You shook your head, the words coming out harsh, like the bitter truth you’d buried deep inside you for so long. “You don’t get to come back now, Mother. You don’t get to walk in and pretend like you can fix everything. You chose them. You chose to leave me.”
She seemed to flinch at the weight of your words, but you didn’t care. You couldn’t care. Not anymore.
“Leave,” you said, the words tasting like ash in your mouth. “Please, just go.”
Your mother stood there for a moment, silent, tears streaming down her face. She seemed to hesitate, torn between reaching for you and walking away. But in the end, she turned and left, the door closing softly behind her.
As the sound of her footsteps faded, you sank back onto the chair by the fireplace, your heart heavy but somehow… relieved. Aemond reappeared from the shadows, his eyes meeting yours in the silence that followed.
He didn’t speak, but his presence was comforting—an odd, unspoken understanding between the two of you. For a moment, it felt like you were not entirely alone in the world, and that strange comfort lingered in the air, even as you struggled to process the emotions swirling within you.
But for now, you didn’t have to face them alone.
You froze, startled by Aemond’s sudden movement, but before you could react, he gently pulled you into his embrace. His grip was firm, yet strangely comforting, as if he was offering a shelter from the storm that raged inside you. His hand moved up and down your back in a soothing rhythm, the tension in your chest slowly starting to ease with each touch.
“Everything will be alright,” he whispered softly, his voice low and steady. The words were simple, but the way he said them—calm, reassuring—brought an odd sense of peace you hadn’t expected.
For a moment, you felt the weight of your emotions shift. You had expected the emptiness, the bitterness, the pain. But in his arms, there was none of that. Just a strange, unfamiliar sense of security.
You didn’t know why, but in that moment, you allowed yourself to believe his words, if only for a second. It was as if his presence was a small promise that, no matter how twisted your world had become, you wouldn’t have to face it alone.
You closed your eyes, leaning into his embrace, the familiar ache in your heart slowly beginning to quiet. “Thank you,” you whispered, unsure of what else to say, but grateful for the moment of solace he had given you.
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The day of your wedding had finally arrived. You sat still, surrounded by your servants who were fussing over your hair and dress, their hands moving quickly to ensure every detail was perfect. You stared at your reflection in the mirror, your heart heavy with a mix of emotions—nervousness, uncertainty, and an aching emptiness. The woman staring back at you seemed so different, yet familiar. The elaborate wedding gown, the delicate veil, the way everything had come together… it all felt like a dream.
As you sat there, lost in your thoughts, the door creaked open and Alicent stepped into the room. She paused for a moment, her gaze sweeping over you with a mixture of awe and pride. Her eyes softened as she took in the sight of you, the woman you had become.
“My dear,” she said, her voice trembling slightly with emotion. “You look… absolutely breathtaking.”
You managed a small, bittersweet smile, not quite sure what to say in response. Your eyes met hers, and in that moment, something shifted. Her presence was warm and comforting, and for the first time in a long while, you didn’t feel so alone.
Alicent stepped closer, her gaze tender as she placed a hand on your shoulder. “You’ve grown into such a beautiful woman,” she continued, her voice softening. “And I… I think it’s time for you to start calling me ‘Mother.’”
The words hit you like a gentle wave. “Mother.” You had never called her that before, not in the way she probably wanted. But now, in this moment, you realized that maybe it was time to accept the bond she was offering. There was no turning back now, and despite the complicated feelings you harbored, you felt a sense of comfort in her words.
With a deep breath, you nodded, your voice barely above a whisper. “Mother,” you said, testing the word on your lips. It felt strange, but somehow, it also felt right.
Alicent’s expression softened, her eyes glistening with emotion. She gave a small, proud smile, her hand gently cupping your cheek. “I’m so proud of you,” she whispered.
The room fell into a comfortable silence as you both took a moment to soak in the weight of the occasion, the sense of change, and the new life that was about to unfold.
The journey to the sept was a quiet one, the rhythmic movement of the carriage the only sound accompanying the silence between you and Alicent. Your fingers nervously traced the edge of your veil, your thoughts swirling with uncertainty and apprehension. The weight of the day felt heavier with each passing moment, and despite Alicent’s comforting words, you couldn’t shake the anxiousness knotting in your stomach.
“Everything will go smoothly,” Alicent said gently, her voice calm and reassuring, as though she sensed the turmoil brewing inside you. “You’re ready for this.”
You gave a soft nod, though the tightness in your chest betrayed your uncertainty. The silence stretched, the muffled sound of hooves on cobblestones echoing outside the carriage. You closed your eyes for a moment, steadying yourself as the weight of the moment settled over you.
Eventually, the carriage came to a halt with a soft jolt, and the door was opened by one of the attendants. Alicent helped you out, her hand steady on your arm. As you stepped onto the ground, you were greeted by a wave of sound—a chorus of cheers and applause from the gathered crowd. The people of the Red Keep and beyond had come to witness the union, their excitement palpable in the air.
The sight of the crowd was overwhelming. The colorful banners fluttered in the breeze, the sun casting a warm glow over the scene. People called out your name, their voices filled with enthusiasm, but all you could focus on was the way the crowd seemed to part for you as you moved forward, your heart pounding in your chest.
Alicent, walking beside you, smiled proudly, her presence a shield against the storm of emotions swirling within you. “This is your moment,” she said softly, her eyes meeting yours with a look of reassurance.
As you walked towards the sept, your gaze lifted and you saw the familiar, yet distant, faces of your family standing at the altar. The weight of their gazes, mixed with the nervous excitement that filled the air, made everything feel surreal. The sound of the crowd, the warmth of the sun, the flutter of your veil, and the presence of Alicent beside you—it all blurred together in a haze of emotions.
The time had come, and despite the storm of feelings inside you, you knew there was no turning back.
As the High Septon’s voice rang through the hall, the final words of the ceremony echoed in your ears. “By the light of the Seven, I declare them husband and wife.” You stood there, the air thick with anticipation, the eyes of your family and the crowd on you. Aemond, beside you, remained composed, his gaze steady and intense, never leaving yours.
The moment felt surreal, the weight of the vows just spoken sinking in. You could feel the tension building, as the next words hung in the air.
The High Septon then turned to Aemond, his voice clear and firm. “Aemond, you may kiss your wife."
For a brief moment, there was a quiet stillness, and you felt the world around you blur. Aemond’s eyes locked with yours as he slowly stepped forward, his hand gently cupping your face. The soft brush of his touch sent a shiver down your spine, and in that moment, you understood the gravity of the life you were about to share with him.
Then, with a movement as deliberate as it was tender, Aemond leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that felt like the beginning of a new chapter. The kiss was brief but full of unspoken promises, sealing the union in front of all who gathered.
As you pulled back, your heart raced, unsure of what the future held, but in that moment, you were bound to him, for better or worse. The cheers and applause of the crowd filled the room, but you were lost in the silence that followed, in the realization that your life had just changed forever.
As you and Aemond descended the steps from the altar, your hand firmly in his, the cheers and applause of the gathered crowd filled the air, echoing through the sept. The weight of the moment settled heavily upon you, but there was a strange, quiet calmness in the chaos of celebration.
Amidst the joyful noise, your gaze found Alicent. Tears shimmered in her eyes, reflecting the light of the candles around you. Without thinking, you reached out and embraced her, the warmth of her embrace offering a fragile sense of comfort in the whirlwind of emotions.
“You’re beautiful,” Alicent whispered softly, her voice full of pride and love. Her arms tightened around you for a moment longer before she pulled back, wiping her eyes gently.
As you stood there, holding her, you couldn’t help but notice the figure of your mother standing at the far end of the hall. Her eyes met yours, and in them, you saw a sadness so deep it nearly took your breath away. Her face was an expression of regret, of longing for something that had been lost.
But it was too late, wasn’t it?
You couldn’t stop the lump that formed in your throat as you held Alicent, her comforting presence a stark contrast to the emptiness you felt when you looked at your mother. You knew you had to turn away from her. Your life had changed, and the bonds of the past could not be rekindled so easily.
Yet, even as you walked away with Aemond, his presence beside you strong and resolute, you couldn’t help but feel the weight of your mother’s gaze on your back, knowing that this new chapter of your life had already set you on a path that would never allow you to go back.
As the carriage rocked gently, you sat beside Aemond, your hand resting on your lap, and your thoughts a whirlwind of emotions. The celebration was still fresh in your mind, and the weight of the vows you had just taken hung heavily in the air around you. Despite the grandiosity of the wedding, the tension between you and your new life was palpable.
Aemond sat with his usual composed demeanor, his eyes gazing ahead through the window, his face unreadable. The silence between you both was thick, a stark contrast to the celebrations you had just left behind. He glanced at you briefly, his sharp gaze briefly meeting yours, before turning back to the window.
You could feel the unease in your chest, the uncertainty of what the future held now that everything had changed so dramatically. The faces of your family, especially your mother’s sad, distant eyes, lingered in your mind. You wanted to ask Aemond something, anything, but the words wouldn’t come.
After a few moments of silence, Aemond finally spoke, his voice low and steady. “This is just the beginning,” he said, his tone unreadable. “Tonight will be a celebration, but our real journey starts now.”
You nodded silently, unsure of how to respond. His words, while true, only served to deepen the unease in your heart. The path ahead felt uncertain, filled with obligations and expectations that you hadn’t been prepared for.
The carriage jolted slightly as it continued down the road toward the Red Keep, and you couldn’t help but wonder what awaited you there. Would it be a new chapter of your life, one you could come to accept? Or would it be a never-ending struggle, one you were ill-prepared for?
For now, you stayed silent, lost in your thoughts, while Aemond remained ever watchful, his presence a constant reminder of the new reality you both now had to face.
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The grand hall of the Red Keep was filled with an air of formality as the feast began. The tables were laden with food, and the chatter of the nobility filled the air, but the weight of the moment hung heavily over you. You sat beside Aemond, your hand resting lightly on the table, surrounded by the most important figures of the realm.
Alicent sat beside you, her presence a reminder of the expectations that now rested on your shoulders. Across from you, your mother sat next to Aemond, her face carefully neutral, though you could feel the distance between you. Aegon and Helaena flanked the table, their expressions unreadable, their usual carefree demeanor absent.
The king, Viserys, raised his goblet, his voice booming through the hall as he stood to give a speech. “Tonight, we celebrate the union of two great houses,” he began, his eyes briefly meeting yours with a solemn smile. “Aemond, my son, and my dear granddaughter, we welcome you into this new chapter of our family’s legacy. May your marriage strengthen the ties that bind us all.”
The guests raised their glasses, their eyes upon you, as the king continued with a few more words of congratulation, but his voice felt distant. You could feel the tension in the room, the expectations, the silent judgment of those who were watching you both closely. It was as though your marriage was not just a union of two people, but a political alliance with the power to shape the future of the realm.
Aemond remained calm, his gaze steady and unwavering, as always. His posture was perfect, the image of a prince, and yet you couldn’t help but feel the distance between you both. Your fingers tightened on the edge of your goblet, your mind swirling with the reality of the path ahead.
The king’s speech concluded, and he returned to his seat, raising his glass one more time in honor of your union. Everyone followed suit, including your mother, who briefly met your eyes, her expression a mix of sorrow and pride.
But you were left with your own thoughts, the words of your new husband echoing in your mind. “This is just the beginning.” What did that truly mean for you, for your family, for your future?
The night continued on, the banquet proceeding with laughter and conversation, but the weight of it all remained on your shoulders.
As Aemond stood and extended his hand to you, the noise of the banquet seemed to fade into the background. The warm glow of the torches in the hall illuminated his intense gaze as he led you to the center of the room. You hesitated for only a moment, before accepting his hand. There was a silent understanding between the two of you as he guided you to the dance floor.
The music played softly, its slow, melodic rhythm matching the beating of your heart. Aemond’s grip was firm, his touch grounding you as you moved together in perfect harmony. For the briefest of moments, the weight of the world seemed to lift. The chaos, the whispers, the tension—they were all forgotten as the two of you danced.
“You don’t have to think about any of it,” Aemond’s voice broke through the silence between you, calm and assuring. “The whispers, the looks, the expectations—they don’t matter now. You have me.”
His words, simple yet resolute, settled into your chest. The unspoken bond between you both deepened in that moment, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, you allowed yourself to feel something other than the heavy pressure of duty and destiny.
You met his gaze, a small, quiet smile playing on your lips. His presence, steady and unwavering, was a comfort amid the storm of your emotions. You didn’t have to say anything. His words alone, as rare as they were, were enough.
The dance continued, your bodies moving effortlessly together, and for the first time in a long while, you let yourself believe that maybe, just maybe, things could be different. Perhaps there was more to this than just an arranged marriage—perhaps there was a chance to build something real, something of your own.
For now, it was just you and him, lost in the rhythm of the music, the eyes of the world no longer mattering in that moment.
As the music reached its crescendo, Aemond spun you gracefully, your gown swirling around you like waves of silk. The world seemed to slow, the flickering glow of the torches casting golden light on the two of you. When you turned back to face him, his hands found your waist, steadying you with a firm but gentle hold.
His gaze locked onto yours, unwavering and intense. There was something different in his eyes—not the usual cold calculation, but a warmth reserved only for you. Without a word, he leaned in, his movements slow and deliberate, giving you every chance to pull away. But you didn’t.
When his lips finally met yours, the room erupted in cheers and applause. The lords and ladies clapped, their voices rising in celebration, but it all faded into a dull hum in your ears. The kiss was soft but sure, filled with a quiet kind of promise. His touch was not a claim of possession but one of reassurance, grounding you in a way you hadn’t realized you needed.
Your heart pounded in your chest, your fingers curling lightly into the fabric of his tunic. The warmth of him, the weight of his presence, was steady and constant. You could feel the world watching, but for once, you didn’t care. Here, in this moment, it was just the two of you.
When he pulled back, his gaze lingered on you, his hand lifting to brush a loose strand of hair from your face. His eyes traced your features as if memorizing them, his lips curving into the faintest of smiles. The cheers grew louder, but Aemond didn’t turn to face them. His eyes remained on you, as if to say, Let them watch. Let them see who you belong to—but more than that, see who belongs to you.
The moment lingered like a held breath before he finally turned with you in his arms, facing the crowd with that familiar cool, commanding presence. But his hand never left yours, his thumb tracing soft circles on your palm—a silent reminder that, no matter who watched, he was yours now, and you were his.
The hall fell silent at the lord’s boisterous shout, the echo of “Bedding ceremony!” reverberating off the stone walls. Whispers spread like wildfire through the crowd, lords and ladies exchanging glances with growing excitement. The atmosphere shifted, filled with a mixture of amusement, expectation, and mischief.
Your mother, Rhaenyra, rose from her seat, her face tense with barely restrained anger. “That will not be necessary,” she said firmly, her voice cutting through the noise with regal authority. Her eyes darted toward you, a silent plea for you to follow her lead.
But before she could say more, you stood. Your eyes swept across the crowd, meeting the stares of lords and ladies alike. Their gazes carried a mixture of curiosity and judgment, but you did not falter. Aemond’s hand tightened around yours, a steadying presence at your side.
“Tradition is tradition,” you said, your voice clear and calm. The murmur of the crowd quieted as your words settled in the air. “If this is what is expected of us, then we shall fulfill it.” You raised your chin, every inch the daughter of a queen. “Let them see that I am not afraid.”
Aemond glanced at you, his gaze unreadable for a moment. Then, slowly, the corner of his mouth curved into a small, sharp smile. Pride flickered in his eye, and he turned to face the hall, his voice sharp and commanding. “You have asked for tradition,” he said, his tone like steel wrapped in silk. “Then tradition you shall have.”
The lords erupted into cheers and laughter, their earlier whispers turning into roars of approval. A few of the younger knights began to rise from their seats, ready to follow the old custom of carrying the bride and groom to the marriage bed.
Alicent’s eyes widened in shock, her lips parting as if to protest, but she quickly pressed them into a thin line. She glanced at you, her face filled with something that looked like pride… and perhaps a flicker of guilt.
Rhaenyra, however, looked furious. She stepped forward, her eyes locked on you, pleading silently. But you didn’t look away. This was your choice now. Her power over you had waned the moment she left you in the Red Keep. She knew it too.
As the knights approached, you glanced at Aemond, and he inclined his head ever so slightly—a silent promise. You knew, in that moment, that you would not be alone in this. You were no longer just a daughter of Rhaenyra. You were now a wife, a queen in your own right, and with Aemond by your side, you would not be moved by whispers or judgment.
The hands of the knights reached for you and Aemond, lifting you both into the air as the crowd’s cheers grew louder. Your heart pounded in your chest, but not from fear. You met Aemond’s gaze as you were carried together toward the chamber doors. His eye was sharp with focus, his lips barely moving as he whispered words only for you to hear:
“Let them watch. Let them know we are unbreakable.”
And as the doors to your chamber swung open, the noise of the crowd behind you felt distant, their jeers and cheers like echoes from another world. The heavy oak doors shut behind you with a resounding thud, cutting off the outside world entirely.
In the quiet of the chamber, with only the soft crackle of the hearth to fill the silence, Aemond’s gaze shifted. Gone was the sharpness, the command. His eye lingered on you with something softer—something only for you.
“Are you afraid?” he asked, voice low but steady.
You met his gaze, steady as your heart finally calmed. “No,” you replied softly. “Not anymore.”
He reached for you slowly, his hands gentle as they touched your face, his thumb brushing lightly along your cheekbone. “Good,” he said, his voice a whisper of steel and warmth. “Because neither am I.”
you looked at aemond, his hand gently caressed your cheek. his touch was so soft, you closed your eyes when you felt his lips touch yours. he slowly untied your dress until it fell around your feet, then he led you towards the bed without breaking the kiss.
you lay down while staring at his face, his silver hair framed his face softly. he slowly opened the tunic that was attached to his body, you could hear whispers from behind the curtains in your room. they were watching. but you weren't afraid, no.
Aemond kissed you again and then he moved to kiss your shoulder, you sighed softly when he started kissing your neck. "are you ready?," he whispered softly in your ear, making sure only you could hear his voice. you nodded.
without thinking aemond kissed you again, you put your hands around his neck. giving him orders to do more to you, his hands began to untie his pants and now he and you were both naked.
"I need your permission" he breathed into your skin.
his fingers dancing around your entrance. you can feel the eagerness radiating off of his body, daring him to push forward into you. He needed to hear you say it.
"Oh god..." you breathed, "yes- Aemond please."
Without warning, he pushed two fingers deep inside of you, hitting your sweet spot. Your mouth dropped open, silent gasps escaping between those swollen lips. You pushed your hips up against his hand, searching for more. You was searching for release but he didn't want to give it to you yet.
His thumb flicked against your clit, sending your eyes into the back of your skull. "Fuck, she looked so fucking good like that." he thought as he feel his erection growing and pushing against your inner thigh. It was enough to drive him mad - utterly insane.
"I want you..." he hissed into your mouth, your breath mixing together in perfect harmony.
"Then take me….." you fired back, That's all the permission he needed you to say. His lips crashed into your with passion and hunger. Your hands moved up into his hair, yanking and pulling at it.
He snaked his head back down to your neck, sucking the sweet, sensitive spot that he knew would cause you to moan.
Sweet, earth shattering moans escaped your lips and your eyes rolled back in your head. Instantly, you pushed and pulled against him, trying to get the friction to release the pressure that you was feeling between your thighs. You wrapped her legs around him tightly and he pulled you in closer, feeling his cock push against your cunt. In one smooth motion, you both feel backwards into the bed. Your kisses become erratic and sloppy as you gripped onto each other for dear life. It was like you couldn't get enough of each other in that moment; you both needed more.
Herubbed his hand over his throbbing length. Slowly, he rubbed his tip over your opening, feeling your arousal coating the tip.
"this one might hurt" he breathed through clenched teeth.
He grabbed your hips and slowly pushed into you, letting you adjust to his size. He watched as your back arched in sheer pleasure and pain.
"You are squeezing my cock" he growled, "relax." as he kissed your face, he pushed into you deeper, gripping your hips tightly. He slowly move in and out of you.
"You are so tight" he breathed.
He felt your walls squeeze his length tightly. He watched as you squirmed under him, wanting more from him.
"Please, Aemond fuck me " she demanded.
You reached up for him, pulling his body against your own. The feeling of your bare flesh against each other was so erotic. he could feel your all around him in that moment. You snaked your hand around his neck, pulling his head to your's as your foreheads collided.
"Fuck..." you both moaned in unison.
His hips thrusted into you over and over again, causing you to cry out in pleasure each thrust. He watched you under him arch your back in sheer pleasure. His hands pushed into your hips, keeping you steady while he fucked you as deep as he could.
"I'm going to...." your eyelids fluttered shut.
"That's it-" he breathed into you, "come undone for me, love."
He hovered over you, throwing your legs over his shoulder, thrusting deeper inside of you. You felt so good, he was losing his mind. Your walls clenched around his, as your mouth fell open. He felt a rush of liquid move over his cock as you covered him with your wetness. He wasn't finished with you just yet. He grabbed your hips and in one swift movement flipped you around, bending you over the bed.
He wrapped one hand around your hair, yanking your head back. His other hand reached around your body. Moans escaped your lips, echoing throughout the stonewall of your chambers. He watched as his cock slid in and out of your wetness.
"Fuck" he breathed.
You looked over your shoulder at him, your wet hair plastered to her face and your dark eyes bright.
"Come for me, Aemond" you breathed. "fill me with your seed"
those words made him come inside you, you moaned as you felt his warm seed fill you up. you felt him kiss your shoulder and then he hugged you and laid you down on the bed
He pulled the blanket over you with gentle hands, his touch careful and deliberate. Leaning down, he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead — warm, steady, and reassuring. It wasn’t the fiery passion you expected from a husband, but something deeper. Something that made you feel safe.
“Rest now,” Aemond murmured, his voice low but firm, the kind of tone that left no room for argument.
And for once, you didn’t argue. Your eyes grew heavy as exhaustion from the long day finally claimed you. The last thing you felt was the warmth of his presence next to you, the steady rise and fall of his breathing lulling you to sleep.
When you woke the next morning, the sun was peeking through the curtains, casting soft golden rays across the room. You blinked a few times, adjusting to the light. Slowly, you sat up, stretching out the stiffness in your limbs.
But something was missing.
You glanced to your side, your hand brushing against the cold, empty space on the bed where Aemond had lain. Frowning, you scanned the room. The chair near the hearth was empty. The sound of footsteps, the rustle of clothes — none of it was there. He was gone.
Your fingers lightly grazed the pillow he had used, still faintly warm but already cooling. A sigh escaped your lips. You knew where he was. It was Aemond, after all. Of course, he was already up.
“He must be training,” you muttered to yourself, rubbing your eyes. It was just like him to be up at dawn, perfecting his swordplay while the world still slept.
You lay back down for a moment, staring at the ceiling with quiet thoughts swirling in your mind. It wasn’t like you expected him to stay, but… a part of you had hoped he would.
You stood before the mirror, smoothing down the fabric of your gown. The rich green silk hugged your form perfectly, adorned with delicate golden embroidery that shimmered in the morning light. This color — once foreign to you — had become a part of you now. It no longer felt strange. It felt inevitable.
With a steadying breath, you turned from the mirror, lifting your head high as you made your way toward the door. The clinking of your heeled footsteps echoed down the stone corridor as you stepped out. Your gaze was sharp, forward-facing, and unwavering.
Servants and courtiers paused as you passed, their murmurs and whispers too faint to hear but their eyes loud with judgment. Some glanced at you with shock, others with disapproval, and a few with quiet respect. “The daughter of Rhaenyra, wearing green,” you imagined them saying. But none of it mattered. Not anymore.
You didn’t slow your pace. You didn’t lower your head. Let them stare. Let them talk. Their words were hollow, and their gazes held no power over you. You had learned that power didn’t come from pleasing them — it came from walking forward, unbothered and unyielding.
The warmth of the sun filtered in through the narrow windows, streaking the cold stone with golden light. The air smelled faintly of the sea and ash, a scent so familiar it had become part of you. Your gown flowed behind you like a banner, the symbol of your new place in this game of thrones.
Green. Not red, not black. Green. And as you walked, you realized something. You no longer felt the need to justify it.
You were walking along the corridor of the Red Keep, your steps light as you made your way to the balcony that overlooked the training yard. The sounds of clashing swords and the shouts of soldiers filled the air, the yard alive with activity. You spotted him almost immediately—your husband, Aemond, sparring with Ser Criston. The two were moving with precision, their swords flashing in the sunlight.
A small smile tugged at your lips as you watched him. There was something oddly reassuring about seeing him in his element, focused and commanding, even in the midst of a battle. You felt a warmth spread through you, a strange comfort knowing that this was the man you were now bound to.
But before you could indulge further in the moment, you heard footsteps behind you. A familiar voice interrupted your thoughts.
“Is this how you spend your days now?” Jace’s voice was tinged with frustration as he appeared in your line of sight. His expression was a mix of sadness and anger, but it softened when his eyes met yours.
You turned to face him, your smile fading slightly as you noticed the hurt in his gaze. “Jace,” you greeted softly, feeling the tension in the air. “What brings you here?”
He stepped closer, his eyes flicking toward Aemond in the yard, then back to you. “I had hoped you’d be different,” he said quietly. “I never thought you would join them, that you would choose this… this life.”
You felt a pang in your chest. Jace’s words, though quiet, cut deeper than you’d expected. But you couldn’t let them sway you, not now. You had made your choice.
“I didn’t choose this easily, Jace,” you replied, your voice steady, though there was a hint of sadness lingering. “But it is my choice, now."
Jace looked at you for a long moment, his face softening. He opened his mouth to say something else, but before he could speak, you turned your attention back to the training yard. Aemond had finished his sparring and was now walking toward the side of the yard, wiping sweat from his brow. He was still too far to hear, but you could feel his presence in the air.
“Please understand,” you murmured, more to yourself than to Jace. “This… this is the life I have now.”
Jace didn’t respond immediately, his gaze lingering on you. It was clear he wasn’t ready to let go of what once was, but you had to. You had no choice.
Aemond’s voice cut through the tension, his presence near you a steadying force. Both you and Jace turned to face him, and you could see the protective glint in his eyes as he stood beside you, his posture poised but fierce. He glanced at Jace for a moment, his gaze sharp, before looking back at you.
“Is he bothering you again?” Aemond’s voice was low, but there was a clear edge to it.
You shook your head quickly, not wanting the situation to escalate. “No, Aemond. Everything is fine,” you said, offering a small smile, though there was a lingering sadness in your heart. You didn’t want Aemond to get involved in this—didn’t want him to see the cracks in your relationships with your family.
Jace, however, didn’t look convinced. His gaze lingered on Aemond for a moment, as if weighing his words carefully before speaking. “I’m not here to cause trouble,” Jace said, his tone cooler now. “I just wanted to talk. But it seems things have changed.”
You sighed, stepping away from the edge of the balcony, feeling the weight of both men’s eyes on you. “Things have changed, Jace,” you said softly, unable to avoid the truth. “I have changed.”
Aemond’s hand subtly brushed against your back, a silent gesture of support. His presence was a comfort, even if Jace’s disappointment was hard to ignore.
Jace took a step back, his gaze lingering on you one last time. “I wish you hadn’t chosen this, but… I understand.” There was no anger in his voice now, just a quiet sadness. He turned to leave, but before he did, he looked back once more. “Take care of her,” he said to Aemond, his voice surprisingly soft.
Aemond gave a curt nod, his expression unreadable, but you knew that he would honor the unspoken promise. As Jace walked away, the silence between you and Aemond grew, but it wasn’t uncomfortable.
“You okay?” Aemond asked, his voice now gentle, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder.
You looked at him, grateful for his understanding. “I am now,” you whispered.
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tag list : @danytar @hangmanscoming @yazzzmints @julessworldd
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lolitastories · 5 months ago
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Mine
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Thomas Shelby x Y/n
“I can’t let you see him,” I took a step back as Polly walked closer until I was at the rock entrance. Chatter around us made our conversation barely audible. The sounds of people preparing for the race were excited, the opposite of what I was feeling right now.
“Polly,” My heart ached. I needed to see Thomas, he was the reason I couldn’t breathe, the reason I was here.
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“No,” She spoke louder. “He doesn’t need to see or hear from you right now,” She looked around making sure no one was paying attention. “He has something more important to deal with.” I knew if I told her the reason I was here and wanted to speak to him, she would eat her words up.
“I understand.” Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Why couldn’t I understand that already? Thomas had left me without a word, not even a letter. It's been a month since I last heard his voice, the last time I saw him walk away in the middle of the night.  With a sigh of defeat and a little bit of exhaustion I looked up at her, “Goodbye Polly,” She gave me a sympathetic smile before I turned around and walked off. She was always nice to me, but I knew better than to argue with her thinking I have a chance to win. “We are better off,” I whisper. “I didn’t need my father, and you won’t either” I held my head up as my hand roamed over my growing belly. “We will have each other.”
I can’t say it was easy. I spent most nights crying in bed but when I felt the little movements in my stomach I forgot how sad I was. But of course some things aren’t meant to leave your memory no matter how hard you try. Thomas Shelby will forever be part of me and part of the little person growing inside of me. I avoided his part of town, I avoided his people as well. I can’t help but think if Polly told him I was at the racetrack that day, if she did then that meant he truly didn’t care. That's how I spent my time until the birth, thinking of him. Maybe if I thought about him enough he would one day show up at my door. If I thought about him enough he would feel me and our child and want to come home. But the day I thought of him the most I wanted to scream his name and hold his hand. I was walking down the street at night from my job when I felt a pain in my lower stomach. I leaned against the wall for a period of time before a stranger took interest. When they saw liquid on the floor they knew I was in labor and took me straight to the hospital. I clenched my eyes and fisted my hands but kept my mouth closed. The pain was horrific but who was I supposed to call out for? I shook my head and hit my chest trying to keep me from thinking, one thing was when this baby was still safe in my womb, but soon they would be out and they would only have me. How can I do that?
“Honey, one more push” That's when I opened my eyes. All that pain was gone, I couldn’t bring my true love into this world while in pain. They would know that pain only stills time, love is what matters and with me, they will never run out of it. I gathered my strength and with one last push my ears heard the most beautiful song. “It's a baby girl” My tears were no longer my own, they were for her. “Congratulations” I watched as the nurse wrapped her up and moved closer to place her on my chest. “She’s beautiful” I smile brightly, wrapping my arms to hold my baby.
“Yes she is,” And she was all mine. The nurse finished cleaning me up and I thanked her before they all left the room. “You are all mine, and you are all I will ever need” I soothe her until her cries turn into a peaceful sigh. “Until the end of time,” I trace her small nose and watch every detail, her lips, her eyes, the way her small brows flicker when my finger traces down her face.
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“Have you decided on a name?” I look up watching a different nurse walk in, placing on her gloves. I shake my head. “Well, you still have time,” She stands beside my bed with a smile. ‘It this your first?”
“Yes.” I smile as I fidget with her small blanket. “I have a name in mind but I am getting a feel of her first to see if it agrees” The nurse chuckles quietly. “Do you need her?” The nurse nods.
“I promise I will bring her right back. We will periodically take her some test and this one will only be a couple of minutes” My bones start to aches as I reach under my baby and lift her up for the nurse to grab, “5 minutes” She whispered kindly, “If I am not back by then you can hold me accountable” I laugh at her humorous tone. I nod watching as she carries my baby away.
“1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8-” I closed my eyes and leaned back finally feeling the exhaustion of just giving birth. I continue to count on my head and even if I count faster, it doesn’t mean time will hurry just for me.
“Y/N?!” My eyes tear open hearing the worry in a man's voice. The figure was too fast as it rushed into the room and grabbed my face.“What happened? Did someone-” I rip his hands from my face and sit up with enough strength to look at him.
“What the hell are you doing Thomas?” It wasn’t anger that was spitting with the words, but they were somewhere along the lines of disappointment. 
“Tommy,” My head moved to look behind him and rushing behind Thomas was Polly and Arthur. “Oh god,” Polly’s face hit with realization. She looks around the room and steps back covering her mouth in shock.
“Are you okay?” I turn my head when I hear Thomas move closer.
“Yes, I'm okay. You should go Thomas” I crossed my arms as my eyes flicker to the clock, I had 2 minutes. “You shouldn’t be here”
“Why?” He said coldly. “When I heard you were in the hospital I came as soon as I could,” My eyes moved up to meet him. “I had to see you and know you were okay” I scoff, shaking my head.
“Now that you saw me you can leave.” I look back at Polly and Arthur who stand by the door. “Get him away from me” My eyes almost pleading towards them.
“Tommy it time to go” Arthur walks around Polly and places his hand on Thomas’s shoulder for it to be nudged away harshly.
“No.” He spoke with a stern voice to Arthur before turning over to me. “I can’t do it any longer,” My body flinches hearing his sudden change. I watch as his figure moves lower until he is kneeling in front of me. “I am not leaving you again.” It was a sting to my heart hearing words I longed for months ago. “I was stupid to leave, stupid to listen to the advice of the heart when I should have fought to keep you by my side.”
“What are you talking about Thomas?” I unconsciously moved a bit forward. His eyes flicker to Polly and Arthur who understood and began walking out of the room. When his bright blue eyes looked back at me it was like I was given my ability to breathe again. The blue eyes I yearn for so long to look at me again were, and they were just as beautiful as I remembered.
“Changretta.” Luca, a man in charge of another crime family. Thomas told me about him, how he came into town seeking revenge for his father and brothers death. “He got close to killing Arthur,” I could see in his eyes how it pained him, he must have gotten close. “But John didn’t have such luck, but the final straw was when I was going home to you,” His hands unraveled my arms and held my hands close to his. “He sent out a hit on me a few blocks from you.” Suddenly I forgot how to breathe again. “I knew I had to get rid of him before he tried to do anything else.” My hands move up to touch his cheek. “I couldn’t let him harm anyone else.”
“John is gone?” It wasn’t a question, it was a realization. I haven't known John well but he was a nice boy, what hurt me the most was that he left kids behind.
“How could I protect the woman I love if I couldn’t protect my own brother? Someone I vowed since the day he was born to protect?” I couldn’t help but wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer. “Polly told me it was for the best to keep my distance,” He spoke quietly into my hair. “But when I heard you were in the hospital I just had to make sure you were okay.” His hands gripped onto skin, not harshly.  His breath steady and his heart beating along mine.
“I know I said 5 minutes but-” Tomas and I pulled apart hearing the nurse's voice walk into the room. “She was a crier.” She stops at the door looking questionably at Thomas and I. She clears her throat and walks closer handing the baby to me. “I will be back for her an hour”
“Thank you,” I give the nurse a smile and she nods before turning around and closing the door behind her. I looked up to Thomas who was shocked at the sight.
“You had a child?” I didn’t know where it came from but I smiled, I smiled at how shocked and confused he looked but what shocked me was that he didn’t back away. Instead he leaned closer and started admiring her. “Is she?” I look up seeing his eyes holding on to some hope. “It doesn’t matter if she is,” He spoke before I could even nod my head. “I love you and if you will still have me she will be mine too.” I know I promised my tears would be hers now but as tears escape my eyes I know that that would never be possible.
“She’s ours” I smile and watch as his smile grows bigger and bigger with realization. “I wanted to tell you-” I see him shaking his head. His hands grab my face and pull me closer into a kiss. I closed my eyes and held on tighter to my baby. He still felt the same, sweet and gentle. As he pulled away we both had a smile on our faces.
“The past is the past,” He sighs, looking down at our baby again. “I have more making up for than you need to explain why you did what you did.” I laugh, shaking my head.
“Sounds like we are almost even,” I tease. He shakes his head.
“Not even close, What you did was for her and what I did was selfish, I could have-” He stops talking when I move away and gently pushes our baby towards him.
“You did for your family,” His hands grab her with such carefulness, and pulls her close. “And without knowing, for our family” I know he mind moves hundreds of miles per hour thinking of total nonsense and he would never let it go but I couldn’t help but try to ease it, at least a little. She starts cooing as I lean against Thomas’s side who sits down beside me. “Can you help me out with the name?” His eyes flicker back and forth before settling on me.
“I like the name you choose,” My brow lifts in surprise. “ I saw how your eyes sparkled” I laughed looking back down.
“Okay.” How could I feel more happiness right now?. “Maeve Jane Shelby” Now it was his turn to be surprised. “Means, God is gracious”
“Jane, like John.” He smiles, placing a single kiss on my forehead. “It's perfect, she is perfect”
“She is all ours” He laughs looking over to us.
“And you two are mine” I roll my eyes before moving closer to him again.
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esotericsorrow · 5 months ago
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i've got this anxious feeling (but it goes away for a minute when i'm with you breathing) - ekko x reader
wc: 1k
warnings: mention of blood
ekko x medic!reader
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ekko doesn't remember the exact moment when everything changed between you two. one minute, you were just kids running through the streets of zaun, stealing glances at each other and dreaming of something better. the next, you were both standing midst of a revolution, both bearing the weight of your choices and responsibilities.
it had always been that way, hadn't it? both of you carried the pain of zaun’s broken streets in different ways, and that pain had shaped who you were—who you were meant to be.
“y/n,” ekko whispered, his voice strained from the blood loss. “how did we get here?”
you didn’t answer right away. you finished wrapping his side with gauze and then gently cupped his chin, tilting his face up toward yours. there was no judgment in your eyes, only the kind of quiet understanding that ekko had never found anywhere else.
“we were always going to end up here,” you said softly. “those were the shitty cards we were dealt with.”
you were no longer the girl that played in the streets with him. no longer the girl to whisk away to some dingy rooftop to stargaze at the barely visible galaxy. you were the firelight medic now. your eyes were laser focused as you worked, hands steady and efficient. back when you were children, you had patched him up after every scrape, every reckless stunt. nothing had changed, you were still the one taking care of himself when he couldn't.
“still think you’re invincible?” you asked, glancing up at him as you cleaned the wound.
“i’m still breathing,” ekko shot back, but the words felt hollow, more tired than defiant.
you didn’t respond, just continuing to work on him. it was always this way. you’d never say what you really wanted to say, but ekko knew you too well. there were things between you—things left unsaid—but both of you had been too afraid to voice them. back then, it was the simple question of whether you’d be able to survive together. now, it was bigger than that. now, it was about whether if you guys could still see each other as more than the people you had been, more than the roles you both were now trapped in.
ekko met your eyes, his chest tight. “i don’t know if i can fix this. everything’s falling apart, y/n, i keep trying, but it’s never enough.”
you finished cleaning the wound, your hands pausing as you looked up at him. the same intensity you had always carried was still there, but now it was mixed with something else—something softer, something more fragile.
“you’re not supposed to fix everything,” you said quietly. “you’re just supposed to keep going. we all are.”
there was a pause, and for a fleeting moment, ekko saw the girl he had known all his life. the girl who had bandaged his scraped knees, who had silently supported him with his creations. the girl who had always believed in something better for them, for zaun.
“and what if i don’t know how?” he whispered, the vulnerability in his voice something he hadn’t allowed anyone to hear in years.
you set down your medical tools and stepped closer to him. you took his hand, your fingers warm against his cold skin. for a moment, he felt a wave of emotions crash over him—memories of their childhood, of simpler times, of a connection that had always been there but was buried beneath the chaos of their lives.
“you don’t have to know how, ekko,” you said softly, your voice just for him. “you just have to keep trying.”
you took a seat beside him on the tiny bed, bodies squished together, shoulders pressing. you hesitated for a moment before leaning your head against his.
“you’re not the boy savior or the leader of the firelights when you’re here with me. you’re just ekko, the boy who always offered me the last bite of his food, the tastiest part. the boy who indulged in my every stupid theory about aliens. the boy who always managed to pull reckless stunts after stunts and inevitably end up injured and come to me, hands expectantly raised to be patched up.”
you fiddled with the ends of your skirt. “you still do. all of that.”
he rubbed his neck sheepishly. “your aliens theories are very interesting.”
you smiled at him softly. he mirrored a similar one of his own.
ekko looked at you then, really looked at you. and in that moment, something shifted—something he hadn’t expected but had always hoped for. he wasn’t sure where this path would lead them, but he knew one thing for certain: you was still here, still standing by his side.
“i don’t know if i can keep doing this without you,” he said, his voice low, vulnerable.
you smiled, gently flicking his forehead before cupping his face to press a chaste kiss on his cheek. ‘you dont have to, silly. i’m not going anywhere. i’m not leaving you ever.”
for a long moment, you simply stayed there, the weight of everything you both had endured settling between, unspoken. you didn’t need to say more. not yet. there was time.
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theonottsbxtch · 2 months ago
Text
FOGGY MEMORIES | MV1
an: this is slightly based off of a request but not at all at the same time, i had this idea come to me in a dream and had to write it as soon as possible. this one is dedicated to 🐴non x
wc: 6.0k
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THE CITY HUMMED WITH QUIET MENACE, a sprawling jungle of glass and steel that never truly slept. High above the streets, the skyline was shrouded in a dense layer of mist, the lights of distant towers bleeding through like smudged paint on a dark canvas. Somewhere below, the world carried on, unaware of the silent war that played out in the shadows—where men like Max Verstappen existed, moving unseen, ghosts in the system.
Max had been doing this for as long as he could remember. Recruited young, trained to be invisible, his life had been stripped of anything that didn’t serve the mission. Emotion dulled, past erased—he had been remade into something precise, something lethal. He didn’t question it. There was no point.
Tonight was no different. His orders had been clear: infiltrate, extract, disappear. A routine operation for someone like him. The target was a classified data vault hidden beneath the bones of an abandoned government facility—forgotten by the world but not by those who understood its value. Whatever was locked inside was important enough for the agency to send him, which meant there was no room for error.
The corridors were silent, bathed in the cold glow of emergency lights. He moved without a sound, a shadow slipping past security feeds and motion sensors with practised ease. The hard drive was exactly where it was supposed to be, tucked behind layers of encryption and reinforced steel. He bypassed the safeguards in seconds, fingers flying over the terminal, but just as the transfer neared completion, the air shifted—subtle, but unmistakable.
He wasn’t alone.
A flicker in his peripheral vision—then movement. Fast.
Max barely twisted in time to avoid the strike aimed at his throat, instinct carrying him backwards as a blade skimmed past his skin. No hesitation, no wasted effort. He countered immediately, using the momentum to lash out, but she was already gone, slipping back into the dim light like smoke.
His eyes locked onto her, scanning, assessing. She was good. Too good. Every movement precise, every attack calculated. Not just an operative—an equal.
They clashed again, the fight a brutal dance of skill and intent. Strikes deflected, counters met with counters. For every step he gained, she matched him effortlessly, as if she knew exactly how he moved, how he thought.
And then, as their blades met in a deadlock, a flicker of something else. Not recognition—something deeper, buried beneath years of erased memories.
A flash.
Fifteen years old, standing in the rain, bruised and bleeding but not broken. A voice—her voice—sharp with defiance. Again.
It vanished as quickly as it had come, leaving only the pounding of his pulse and the fire in her eyes.
Who was she?
She twisted free, launching into another attack, and Max forced himself to focus. Questions could wait. First, he had to survive.
The fight pressed on, a deadly rhythm of movement and steel. Each strike was met with precision, each dodge answered with equal force. It had been a long time since Max had faced someone who could keep up with him—longer still since he had felt something close to uncertainty in a fight. But there was no denying it. She knew him. Knew the way he moved, the way he anticipated attacks before they landed.
And worse—he knew her too.
Not in a way that made sense. Not in a way that should have been possible.
She feinted left before twisting low, her boot catching his knee hard enough to unbalance him. He barely managed to absorb the impact, rolling back to create distance. He expected her to press forward, to take advantage of the opening, but instead, she hesitated.
Just for a fraction of a second.
Her breathing was steady, her stance unwavering, but in her eyes—something flickered. A question.
Max clenched his jaw. He couldn't afford hesitation, couldn't afford doubt. Whoever she was, whatever this was, it didn’t change the mission. He forced himself to move, closing the distance between them with speed, but as he reached for his knife, another flash tore through him—
Fifteen again. A training room lit with harsh white fluorescents. The air thick with the scent of sweat and blood. His body ached, muscles trembling from exhaustion, but he refused to stop. She stood opposite him, just as battered, just as relentless. Her voice, breathless but sharp—
"You’re getting slow, Max."
The memory splintered as she moved, striking at him with that same speed, that same precision. He barely countered in time.
His pulse thundered. He had no past, that’s what he’d been told. Whatever he was remembering right now, he wasn’t supposed to remember.
And yet…
A part of him did.
She drove him back, seizing control of the fight, her attacks coming faster now, sharper—more desperate. As if she, too, was fighting something beyond just the mission.
For a moment, the world narrowed to just the two of them. The abandoned facility, the stolen data, the reason they were even here in the first place—it all faded into insignificance. There was only her. The way she moved. The way something deep within his bones screamed that this wasn’t the first time they had fought like this.
Then, just as suddenly, the silence shattered.
A distant alarm.
Reinforcements.
Max swore under his breath. This had already gone too far.
Their gazes locked, breath ragged, neither willing to lower their guard. But the moment was broken.
Whoever she was, whatever this was—they were out of time.
The distant alarm pulsed through the facility, a stark reminder that they weren’t alone. The fight should have ended then and there—one of them should have taken the opportunity to finish it. But neither of them moved.
Max’s grip tightened around his knife, but his instincts screamed at him to do something else entirely. Run. Stay. Demand answers. The confusion was a dangerous distraction, one he had never allowed himself before.
She was still watching him, breathing hard, eyes flicking towards the corridor where the reinforcements would be coming from. Her hesitation was telling.
She wasn’t here for them.
Whoever she was—whatever her mission—she was working alone.
The second stretched between them, thick with something unspoken, before she made her choice.
She turned and ran.
Max almost let her go. Almost.
But something inside him wouldn’t allow it.
Without thinking, he took off after her.
She was fast, her movements fluid, as if she already knew the building’s layout. He followed instinctively, boots silent against the steel grates as they weaved through the abandoned corridors. The flashing red lights cast long shadows, flickering over rusted walls and forgotten machinery.
She took a sharp turn, disappearing into a stairwell. Max followed without hesitation, vaulting over the railing to cut her off at the landing below. She barely managed to stop in time, skidding to a halt before twisting into a defensive stance.
For the first time, she spoke.
"Still reckless."
The words sent an almost physical shock through him. Not because of what she’d said—but because of how she’d said it. Not mocking. Not surprised. Just… knowing.
Max didn’t respond. He couldn’t.
His chest was heaving, his mind torn between the mission and the undeniable truth that was forcing its way through the cracks in his erased past.
Then, another flash—
Younger. A different place. Late night, stolen moments between brutal training sessions. A whispered conversation in the dark. She’s beside him, pressing an ice pack to his ribs, smirking slightly as he winces.
"Still reckless," she murmurs, and there’s something almost fond in her voice.
It hit him like a bullet. The memory wasn’t vague or blurred—it was real.
Which meant she was real.
His hesitation was all she needed. With a sharp movement, she threw something—small, metallic—towards the ground between them. A split second later, smoke erupted, thick and blinding.
Max lunged forward, but by the time he broke through the haze, she was gone.
Vanished into the labyrinth of the facility.
The alarm was still blaring. He could hear the distant shouts of guards closing in, but his mind was elsewhere, stuck in the past he wasn’t supposed to have.
Who the hell was she?
And why had they made him forget?
The mission was slipping away.
Max knew it—could feel it unraveling the second he made his choice. The data didn’t matter anymore. The agency’s orders, the years of conditioning that had drilled obedience into his bones—none of it mattered. Not when the memories were clawing their way back to the surface, memories that weren’t supposed to exist.
She wasn’t supposed to exist.
But she did. And he needed to find her.
The alarm pulsed overhead, the facility coming alive with movement as guards swept through the corridors. Max melted into the shadows, instincts taking over, but his mind was elsewhere—tracing the route she had taken, searching for an exit she might have used.
He replayed every detail of their fight, every step of her retreat. She had moved with certainty, like she knew exactly where she was going. That meant she had planned this.
Which meant she had a way out.
Max exhaled sharply and turned away from the terminal. The stolen data was still mid-transfer, the mission still technically salvageable—but that wasn’t why he was here anymore. He left it behind without hesitation, slipping into the stairwell she had disappeared through moments before.
His body moved on instinct, muscle memory leading him through the facility as if chasing something deeper than just a target.
Fifteen again. Late-night training. They were always the last two left standing, bruised and aching but refusing to fall. A voice in the dark, hers—
"They’ll break us apart one day."
He hadn’t believed her.
Max’s jaw clenched. They had broken them apart. Wiped them clean. Turned them into strangers.
But not completely.
Some part of him still remembered. And if that part existed in him, then it existed in her too.
He reached the lower levels of the building, moving faster now. The reinforcements were closing in above—he could hear the distant echo of boots, orders shouted over comms. He had minutes at best.
The facility was a relic of a forgotten past, its lower levels half-abandoned, corridors thick with dust and disuse. It was the perfect place to disappear.
And that’s exactly what she had done.
Max slowed, scanning the space, eyes catching the faintest disturbance in the dust—a trail. Not clumsy, not obvious, but enough. She wanted to vanish, but she was still human. Still breathing, still moving, still—
There.
A side door, slightly ajar. The faintest shift in the air, the ghost of movement beyond.
Max didn’t hesitate.
He pushed through, slipping into the dimly lit corridor beyond, senses sharp. The space was narrow, lined with rusted pipes, the distant hum of an old ventilation system vibrating through the walls. She had taken this route for a reason.
An exit.
He moved quickly but carefully, resisting the urge to break into a sprint. She knew he was coming—she had to. But she hadn’t tried to stop him.
Why?
The corridor opened up into a loading bay, long abandoned, the night air cutting sharp through a broken shutter. Outside, the city sprawled in the distance, a blur of lights against the dark.
She was there.
Standing just beyond the exit, half-turned, as if debating whether to disappear for good.
For a moment, neither of them spoke.
Then—
"You left the mission," she said, voice unreadable.
Max exhaled slowly. "So did you."
Something flickered in her eyes. Something almost like recognition. Like a truth neither of them could quite grasp.
He took a step forward.
And this time—she didn’t run.
Max barely had time to react. One second, they were standing there, locked in some unspoken standoff—the next, she moved. Fast. Too fast.
He didn’t even see the knife until it was pressed against his throat.
The cold bite of steel sent a sharp pulse through him, but he didn’t flinch. His hands remained at his sides, body taut, ready—but he didn’t strike. Not yet.
She was close now. Close enough that he could see the steady rise and fall of her chest, the flicker of something unreadable in her eyes.
"Who are you?" he asked, voice low.
Her grip on the knife didn’t waver.
"They’ll kill you if I answer that question."
The words shouldn’t have sent a chill through him, but they did. Not because of what she said—but because of how she said it. A warning, not a threat. A truth she didn’t want to speak aloud.
He held her gaze. "Then why not kill me yourself?"
Her jaw tensed. "If I wanted you dead, you would be."
Something about the certainty in her voice sent his pulse spiking.
"Then tell me," he pressed. "Tell me why I remember you."
She exhaled sharply, her expression flickering—just for a second. As if she wanted to. As if she was weighing whether or not to break whatever rules had been drilled into her as deeply as his own.
Then, finally—
"Ask Christian where he picked you up from."
Max’s breath stilled.
The name hit him harder than it should have.
Christian. His handler. The man who had trained him, who had shaped him into what he was today. The one person in his life who had ever been constant.
There was nothing before him. No memories, no past. Christian had found him, recruited him, trained him—
Hadn’t he?
The question lodged itself deep, twisting into something sharp and unfamiliar.
He shook his head. "Christian raised me."
She pressed the knife just a little harder against his skin—not enough to cut, just enough to make sure he felt it.
"No, he didn’t."
Max’s throat went dry.
The certainty in her voice, the way she didn’t even hesitate—it felt like a noose tightening around something inside him.
The life he’d known had always been clear, precise, unshakable. He had been taken in as a boy, trained to be a ghost, stripped of anything that might make him hesitate. No attachments. No past.
No questions.
But now—
Now he wasn’t so sure.
She must have seen the doubt flicker in his eyes because something in her stance shifted. Not in triumph. Not in relief. Something closer to regret.
The knife at his throat lowered slightly, just enough to press against his chest instead. Light. Just a touch. A reminder.
"Whatever you do," she said softly, "don’t let them make you forget again."
The words hit him like a gunshot.
And then—she was gone.
A single blink, a breath too slow, and she vanished into the shadows like she had never been there at all.
Max stood frozen, the city wind cutting sharp against his skin.
His hands curled into fists.
Because for the first time in his life, he had a question he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer to.
The flight back was silent.
Max sat motionless in the jet’s dim cabin, hands clasped loosely, gaze fixed on nothing. The city lights faded beneath him, swallowed by the vast dark as they ascended. The hum of the engines filled the space, steady and constant—something to focus on. Something to drown out the chaos in his head.
Christian would be waiting for him.
He had no mission report to give. No extracted data, no explanations that would make sense. It was the first mission he had ever failed.
And the worst part was—he hadn’t even tried to succeed.
The memory of her voice lingered, curling around the edges of his mind like smoke. The way she moved, the way she spoke—like she knew him. Like she had always known him.
Like he should have known her.
Ask Christian where he picked you up from.
The words dug deep. No matter how much he tried to push them away, they wouldn’t leave him.
The base was cold when he arrived, the same clinical sterility as always, but tonight, it felt different. Or maybe he was different.
Christian was waiting for him, as expected. He stood with his hands behind his back, expression unreadable, but Max knew him well enough to recognise the subtle tension in his shoulders. Disappointment.
Christian let the silence stretch for a moment before he finally spoke.
"You’ve never failed a mission before."
Max kept his expression blank. "There were complications."
"Complications." Christian’s tone was flat, like he was waiting for something more.
Max exhaled, keeping his body relaxed, forcing himself into the role he had played for years. "Security was heavier than expected. Extraction was compromised. I made the call to retreat before it escalated."
A lie. A clean, believable lie.
Christian studied him carefully.
Then, with quiet finality—
"That’s not the whole truth."
Something in Max’s gut twisted. Christian knew. Maybe not everything, maybe not her, but enough to know that Max was keeping something from him.
He needed to tread carefully. He needed to play this right.
So why the hell did he open his mouth and say—
"Where did you pick me up from?"
The words had barely left him before the shift in the air was immediate.
Christian’s entire body went still.
A long, heavy silence.
Then, barely above a whisper—
"You’re remembering."
Max’s stomach turned.
It wasn’t a question. It wasn’t disbelief. It was a confirmation.
Christian knew.
And before Max could even react, before he could think of a way to fix this, to backtrack, to—
The door behind him slid open.
Boots. Movement. Too many of them.
His instincts flared, but before he could reach for a weapon, hands were on him. A hard grip on his arms, forcing them behind his back. He tensed, about to fight, but then he saw it—
The mask.
The metal apparatus in their hands, wires trailing, the gleam of something sharp and invasive.
Max’s breath locked in his throat.
No.
Not this.
Not again.
He never knew what it did. 
All he knew was that it hurt.
His pulse pounded, his body coiled to resist, but Christian only took a step back, running a hand down his face.
"Fuck. How is this happening already?"
The hands on Max tightened. He thrashed against them, instincts screaming to fight, to run, but it was already too late. The mask was forced over his face, the sharp scent of chemicals hitting him fast.
His vision swayed. The edges of the room blurred.
Whatever you do, don’t let them make you forget again.
Her voice, clear as a bullet to the skull.
Max fought. He fought, but the world was slipping, pulling him under.
And then—
Darkness.
The world came back in pieces.
A dull ache throbbed behind Max’s eyes, a deep, lingering weight pressing against his skull. His body felt heavy, sluggish, like he was surfacing from somewhere too deep, somewhere he wasn’t supposed to have been.
He was lying on something cold. A cot. The metallic scent of the base’s medical wing filled his lungs, sterile and artificial. The hum of overhead lights buzzed faintly in the background, a rhythmic, familiar noise that should have grounded him.
But something was off.
His thoughts were slow, thick, like they were moving through treacle.
And then—
"You're awake."
Christian’s voice.
Max blinked against the brightness, his vision sharpening as he turned his head. Christian stood a few feet away, arms crossed, studying him with the careful scrutiny of someone searching for cracks in a foundation.
Max forced himself upright. The movement sent a sharp wave of nausea through him, but he ignored it.
"What happened?" His own voice felt distant, like it didn’t quite belong to him.
Christian exhaled through his nose, something unreadable flickering across his expression. "You wiped out during the mission. Comms went dark. We had to extract you."
Wiped out? That wasn’t—
No, that couldn’t be right.
The mission. He’d gone in alone. Infiltrated the facility. He was about to extract the data, and then—
His head pulsed, a sharp spike of pain cutting through his thoughts.
Christian watched him carefully. "What do you remember?"
Max frowned, trying to push past the fog. "The facility. I got inside. Security was heavier than expected, but I navigated it. I reached the terminal, started the extraction—"
A flicker of something.
A shadow of movement. The ghost of a fight, a blade catching the dim light—
No.
That wasn’t right.
The mission had gone wrong. That was all.
He forced the thought aside. "There was an alarm. I had to abandon the extraction. That’s when things got messy. I must have taken a hit on the way out."
Christian nodded slowly, as if weighing his words. "You don’t remember anyone else being there?"
The question was casual. Too casual.
Max’s muscles tensed instinctively. "No."
Christian tilted his head slightly. "No other operatives? No one who might have compromised the mission?"
Max shook his head. "I was alone."
The lie slipped out effortlessly. He didn’t know why he was lying, not fully—but something in his gut told him it was necessary.
Christian studied him for a long moment. Then—
"You don’t remember anything else?"
There was something about the way he said it. The way his tone shifted, like he was looking for something specific.
Max opened his mouth to deny it again—
Ask Christian where he picked you up from.
The thought cut through his mind like a blade.
His breath stalled.
Something about those words felt wrong. Or rather—too sharp. Too defined. Like they weren’t supposed to be there at all.
The chemicals had done their job. He knew they had. He felt the emptiness, the hollowed-out space in his head where things had been scrubbed clean.
But that one thought remained.
And he had no idea why.
Christian was still watching him, patient, expectant.
Max forced his expression blank. "No. I don’t remember anything else."
A beat.
Then Christian nodded, like that was the answer he had been waiting for.
"Get some rest," he said, stepping back towards the door. "We’ll debrief properly in the morning."
Max only nodded.
He waited until Christian was gone, until the door clicked shut behind him.
Then, slowly, he exhaled.
His hands curled into fists against the sheets.
Because something wasn’t right.
And this time, no matter what they did to him—
He wasn’t going to let it go.
Max sat on the edge of the cot, elbows on his knees, hands loosely clasped. His head still ached—a deep, lingering throb at the base of his skull—but he ignored it. He was too focused on the weight pressing against his chest.
The wrongness of it all.
They had wiped him. They must have. He could feel the gaps, the hazy edges where memories had been scraped clean. It wasn’t the first time.
But this time, something had slipped through.
Ask Christian where he picked you up from.
The words sat heavy in his mind, sharp and unyielding. He didn’t know where they came from. Didn’t know why they felt important. But they did.
And that meant something had gone wrong.
He forced himself to breathe slowly, methodically. Focus. He needed to be careful. Christian was already suspicious—his questions hadn’t been casual. He had been testing him.
And Max had barely passed.
He glanced towards the door. Locked, as expected. There would be a guard outside. There always was after the machine, at least for the first few hours. Just in case.
They were watching him.
Which meant he needed to act like nothing was wrong.
Slowly, he pushed himself to his feet. His body felt steady now, movements fluid despite the dull weight in his skull. He crossed the small room, pressing his fingertips against the cool metal wall, grounding himself in something tangible.
His reflection stared back at him from the glass panel by the door. He looked the same as always—sharp, composed, unreadable.
But he didn’t feel the same.
He reached up, pressing his palm against his chest, against the spot where—
A flicker. A whisper of sensation, something just out of reach—
Whatever you do, don’t let them make you forget again.
His breath caught.
Her voice.
It was there. Faint, distant, but real.
And suddenly, he knew.
The wipe hadn’t worked properly. Not completely.
Something had stayed behind.
And if something had stayed behind, then so had she.
Max clenched his jaw.
They thought they had erased her. Thought they had wiped him clean, reset him like they always did.
But this time, something was different.
And for the first time in his life—
He wasn’t going to let it go.
The next week was hell.
Max barely slept. Every time he closed his eyes, he felt like he was missing something, like the answers were just out of reach, slipping through his fingers the moment he got too close.
He spent hours running through the details in his head, over and over, searching for cracks. But there was nothing tangible—just fragments. A voice that didn’t belong. A question he shouldn’t have asked. The phantom feeling of a knife pressing lightly against his chest.
Every time he thought he was getting somewhere, it was like slamming into an invisible wall.
The chemicals had done their job too well.
He found himself pacing his room at night, replaying Christian’s words, analysing every interaction, searching for a thread to pull.
But he couldn’t.
There was nothing there.
And that was the most maddening part.
By the fourth day, he was barely holding it together.
He was losing his edge. He could feel it. His reaction time was slower, his focus splintered. During training exercises, he caught himself hesitating, second-guessing movements that should have been instinctual.
It wasn’t just affecting him mentally. It was affecting his performance.
And that was dangerous.
By the fifth day, he started telling himself he was going insane.
That was the only logical explanation, wasn’t it?
They had wiped him. That was routine. He had failed a mission—Christian had told him what had happened. There was no reason to question it.
The words in his head, the voice, the flashes of something more—
They weren’t real. They couldn’t be real.
His own mind was turning against him. That was all. He just needed to let it go.
But he couldn’t.
Because somewhere, deep down, he knew that wasn’t true.
And the not-knowing was driving him to the edge.
On the seventh day, Christian came to him with a new mission.
Max barely had time to gather himself before he was summoned to the briefing room. The moment he walked in, he felt Christian’s gaze settle on him, sharp and assessing, like he was looking for something.
Max straightened his posture, schooling his features into something neutral. He had to keep it together.
Christian held out a thin file. "You’re being deployed again."
Max took it, flipping it open. The details were standard—location, objective, extraction plan. Another infiltration job. Another ghost mission.
But Christian wasn’t watching the file.
He was watching him.
"You look like shit, Max," he said bluntly.
Max barely blinked. "Didn’t realise I was being assessed on aesthetics."
Christian didn’t smile. "You haven’t been sleeping properly."
It wasn’t a question.
Max shut the file, keeping his expression unreadable. "I’m fine."
Christian studied him for a long moment. Then—"Good. Because this time, there’s no margin for error."
Something about the way he said it sent a sharp pulse through Max’s gut.
Because Christian wasn’t just talking about the mission.
He was testing him. Again.
And Max had no idea if he was still passing.
The mission was straightforward. Infiltration. Retrieval. Extraction.
No complications. No surprises.
At least, that’s what the file said.
Max knew better.
Christian had given him a comms unit this time, something he never did unless he expected to monitor performance directly. Which meant this wasn’t just about completing the objective—it was about proving himself.
Proving he wasn’t slipping.
Proving he was still the same agent he had always been.
Proving he wasn’t remembering.
He locked in. Forced his mind to focus. He couldn’t afford any more mistakes.
The drop site was an abandoned industrial complex on the outskirts of Prague. The air was thick with the scent of rust and rain-soaked concrete, the sound of distant traffic humming just beyond the perimeter.
Max moved quickly, slipping through the darkness like a shadow. The plan was clean—get inside, access the target’s server, extract the encrypted data, and leave before anyone knew he was there.
But Christian’s presence in his ear made everything feel off.
"Comms check." Christian’s voice crackled through the line.
"Copy," Max muttered under his breath.
"You’re on a tight window. No distractions."
The words were casual. But the way he said them wasn’t.
Max ignored it. Pushed forward.
The building was hollowed out, skeletal remains of an old factory now repurposed for something far less industrial. Surveillance equipment was minimal—whoever was running this operation relied on secrecy rather than security.
It made things easier.
Within minutes, Max had reached the target room. A small, nondescript office, a single desk, and a humming server in the corner.
He set up quickly, connecting the extraction device to the system, watching the data begin to transfer.
"ETA?" Christian asked.
"Two minutes."
"Good. Keep it clean."
Max clenched his jaw. The way Christian was talking—it wasn’t just mission oversight. It was scrutiny. He wasn’t just expecting success. He was waiting for a mistake.
Max exhaled slowly, grounding himself in the task. He just had to get through this.
He watched the transfer bar crawl forward, the soft whir of the machine filling the silence.
Almost there.
And then—
A noise.
A shift in the air, subtle but wrong.
Max didn’t hesitate. He cut the extraction, ripped out the device, and had his gun raised in the same breath—
But the doorway was empty.
Nothing. No movement.
Still, his pulse had spiked.
Something was there.
He could feel it.
"Max?" Christian’s voice came through the comms.
Max didn’t lower his weapon. "I heard something."
A pause. Then, calmly—"You’re alone."
It was meant to reassure him.
It didn’t.
Max swallowed down the unease, forcing himself to move. He secured the drive, checked the hall, and started his exit.
He needed to get out.
But as he moved through the corridors, every shadow felt heavier. Every noise felt sharper.
Like he wasn’t alone at all.
And then—
Whatever you do, don’t let them make you forget again.
The voice wasn’t in his comms.
It was in his head.
Max stumbled. Just for a second.
But it was enough.
"Max?" Christian again. Sharper this time.
Max gritted his teeth, forcing his breathing steady. "I’m fine."
A lie.
Because he wasn’t fine.
Something was wrong.
And this time, he wasn’t sure he could ignore it.
Max barely had time to react.
A presence—too close, too quiet—moved behind him, and before he could turn, the cold press of a blade kissed his throat.
He went rigid.
Every instinct screamed at him to fight, to twist out of the hold, to strike first and ask questions later. But something stopped him.
Not fear.
Recognition.
Faint, distant, buried beneath the layers of conditioning. But it was there.
A whisper of something lost.
He opened his mouth—
A hand slid over it, silencing him.
"Shh."
The voice was barely above a breath, warm against his ear.
And familiar.
His pulse hammered against his ribs.
She moved swiftly, with precision—reaching up to his ear, plucking the comm unit free before he could stop her.
A second later, she dropped it to the ground and brought her boot down hard.
The crack of crushed tech echoed through the empty hallway.
Static burst in his ear—then silence.
Christian was gone.
Max inhaled slowly, carefully. "If you’re going to kill me, at least tell me who you are first."
She didn’t answer.
Instead, she stepped around him, lowering the knife as she did. Her grip was light, controlled, like she knew he was dangerous but wasn’t afraid.
He finally got a proper look at her.
Dark clothing, tactical gear—she was built for this world, just like he was. Her face was unreadable, save for her eyes.
They were sharp, calculating. But not unfamiliar.
Max clenched his jaw.
She knew him.
She turned her gaze towards the drive in his hand, then back to him. "Do you have what you need?"
His fingers curled around it instinctively. "Why do you care?"
She exhaled, a quiet huff of something—annoyance, amusement, he couldn’t tell. Then, without a word, she reached past him, grabbed the device, plugged it in and began tapping a few keys on the terminal he’d left behind.
The screen flickered.
His extraction continued.
She was helping him.
Every muscle in his body stayed taut, waiting for the catch. "Why are you doing this?"
Silence.
The transfer completed. She pulled the drive free and pressed it into his palm.
He didn’t take his eyes off her. "Who are you?"
She looked at him for a long moment.
And then—
Softly, carefully—
"You already know."
Unlike last time, she didn’t leave.
Instead, she pulled a small piece of paper from her pocket, a rough tear from something larger. She grabbed a pen from the desk, quick and efficient, and scribbled something down.
Then, without hesitation, she stepped closer.
Too close.
Max didn’t move, but he felt his muscles lock, felt the brush of her knuckles as she slipped the folded paper between the straps of his tactical vest, tucking it neatly against his chest.
A calculated move.
Deliberate.
His pulse spiked—just for a second, just enough that he hated himself for it.
She held his gaze, unreadable. "Meet me here. Seventeen hundred. I’ll give you the answers you want."
Max’s throat felt dry. He glanced down at the paper, at the faint scratch of ink just visible through the fold. An address.
He exhaled sharply. "I can’t leave my base."
She tilted her head slightly, as if considering him. "If you’re motivated enough—if you want the answers—you can."
Simple. Direct.
And infuriatingly confident.
Max clenched his jaw. He should shove the paper back at her. Should call her bluff, demand an explanation now. But his fingers twitched instead, the whisper of her touch still there, phantom-like, against his chest.
It wasn’t much.
But it was enough to unsettle him.
By the time he forced himself to look up again, she was already turning away.
He should stop her. He should do something.
But for some reason, he didn’t.
He just stood there, the weight of the paper burning against his skin.
By the time Max stepped out of the building, she was gone.
No trace. No sound. Just the faint echo of her voice still lingering in his head.
His fingers twitched against his vest where the paper sat, warm from his body heat, feeling heavier than it should. He resisted the urge to pull it out and look. Not here. Not yet.
Instead, he locked in, moved. The extraction point was half a mile north, and he didn’t have time to dwell. The moment he was in the open, he moved fast, slipping through the industrial skeleton of the compound, mindlessly following the path drilled into him.
And yet—
The address. The time. The way she had stood so close, the way she had known him.
It was all he could think about.
The jet was already waiting when he arrived. He barely had time to board before Christian turned from where he stood by the cockpit, eyes sharp, scanning him like a threat assessment.
Max pulled off his gloves, keeping his movements smooth, measured. Controlled.
Christian frowned. "What happened to your comms?"
Max didn’t blink. "Glitch. Cut out before extraction. Didn’t have time to fix it."
Christian studied him for a beat too long, but then—exhale. A slow nod. "Tech will look at it."
It worked.
Christian believed him.
Max sank into his seat, forcing his body to relax, listening to the hum of the jet as it powered up. The mission was over.
But his mind wasn’t anywhere near it.
He should be thinking about the debrief, about the logistics of his return, about the inevitable post-mission assessments.
Instead, all he could think about was her.
And the paper in his vest.
And the fact that in less than twenty-four hours, he was going to have to do something he had never done before.
Find a way out.
PART TWO...
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lila-lou · 2 months ago
Text
✨Age gap crush - Pt. 1/2✨
Summary: Jensen froze—biggest age gap crush? Jared smirked, already knowing the answer. Because Jensen didn’t do attachments. But with you? He already had.
-requested-
Pairing: Jensen x Reader
Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, Language
Word Count: 6341
A/N: English isn’t my first language, please be lenient. 🩷
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The hotel room was quiet, except for the faint hum of traffic outside and the soft rustling of sheets behind you. Stepping out of the bathroom, steam curled around you as the cooler air of the room brushed against your damp skin. The towel wrapped tightly around your body felt like the only barrier between you and the weight of his gaze.
Jensen was lying on the bed, one arm tucked lazily behind his head, the other resting against his bare stomach. The soft morning light cast shadows over his toned chest, highlighting the ridges of muscle beneath his skin. His green eyes, sharp and amused, traced you slowly—like he had all the time in the world.
A smirk tugged at his lips. “Well, good morning to me”, he murmured, voice thick with sleep and something else—something that sent a shiver down your spine.
You tightened your grip on the towel, swallowing the warmth creeping up your neck. “Enjoying the view?”, you muttered, trying to sound unaffected.
He chuckled, low and husky, shifting slightly but never breaking his gaze. “Oh, absolutely. Best way to wake up”.
Your stomach twisted at the way he was looking at you—like he knew exactly what he was doing, exactly how flustered you were.
You cleared your throat, the towel still clutched tightly in your grasp. "I thought you'd be gone by now", you muttered, eyes flicking toward the digital clock on the nightstand—but the numbers blurred together. You had no idea what time it was.
Jensen’s smirk deepened. "Didn’t have the heart to leave you just yet", he drawled, stretching out like he had no place to be, no convention to rush off to. "Besides, you looked too damn peaceful earlier. Didn’t want to wake you".
You scoffed, rolling your eyes to mask the way your stomach flipped. Peaceful wasn’t the right word. Wrecked, maybe. Spent.
Last night had been… intense. The kind of night that left your body sore in the best possible way, your mind hazy, your legs barely functioning by the time he'd finally let you rest. And now, standing here, the memory of his hands, his mouth, his body pressed against yours—it all came rushing back so vividly you had to fight the urge to squeeze your thighs together.
Jensen noticed. Of course, he did. His eyes darkened, amusement flickering beneath them like he was reading every damn thought in your head. "You okay there, sweetheart?". His voice was smooth, teasing.
You huffed, turning toward the dresser for something—anything—to distract yourself. "I don’t even know what time it is", you admitted, your voice quieter this time. "You really should be gone. The convention—".
"Still got time". His voice was lazy, like he didn’t have an entire schedule waiting for him. "And you really think I’d leave without a proper goodbye?".
This—whatever this was—wasn’t supposed to feel so dangerous. The two of you had set the rules from the start. No public outings. No red carpets. No standing in any kind of spotlight.
After all, he had enough attention on him—especially after the divorce. He didn’t need the world picking apart his personal life, and neither did you. It worked this way. Just the two of you, in stolen nights like this.
But mornings like this? Where he stayed longer than he should, watching you like you were the only thing worth his time?
Those were the moments that scared you.
And when Jensen sat up, his bare chest shifting with the movement, his smirk softening into something almost… fond, you knew you were in trouble.
"C´mere", he murmured, patting the space beside him.
You swallowed hard. You should tell him to get dressed, to go. To remind him of the agreement.
But your body had other plans.
And Jensen knew it, too.
You hesitated as you reminded yourself what this was supposed to be. Casual. Private. Simple.
But Jensen made it impossible to keep things simple.
The way he looked at you—like he had all the patience in the world, like he knew you’d give in before you even did—was downright dangerous. You hated that he was right.
Slowly, reluctantly, you moved toward the bed, stopping just short of where he was sitting. His gaze flickered down to your legs, still damp from the shower, before dragging back up to meet your eyes. He reached out, fingers ghosting along the edge of your towel, not tugging—just there—a silent invitation.
"You’re thinking too much", he murmured, voice low, rough from sleep.
You let out a small, breathy laugh, shaking your head. "Maybe because I should be thinking", you shot back, but you didn’t step away.
Jensen’s smirk returned, but there was something softer beneath it. Something more dangerous than the teasing. "Tell me you don’t want me here", he challenged, his hand resting on your hip now, warm and steady. "And I’ll go".
You parted your lips, inhaling as if you were actually about to say the words. You knew he’d keep his word. He always did.
But you didn’t want him to go.
You wanted this—the way his presence wrapped around you, the way his voice sent shivers down your spine, the way his hands on your body made everything else disappear.
That’s what scared you the most.
Jensen tilted his head, waiting. Not pushing, not rushing. Just waiting for you to be honest with yourself.
And you hated that you broke so easily.
Instead of answering, you exhaled shakily and let your knee press onto the mattress beside him, crawling up just enough for him to lean back slightly, welcoming you. His hands slid up your thighs, warm and familiar, but his eyes never left yours.
"That’s what I thought", he murmured, pulling you onto his lap, your towel slipping just enough for his fingers to dip beneath it.
Your stomach clenched. "You’re an ass", you muttered, but there was no bite to it.
Jensen chuckled, his lips grazing your jaw as his grip tightened, anchoring you to him. "Yeah, but you like me anyway".
And you hated that he was right about that, too.
Your breath hitched the moment you felt it—him—hot and hard beneath you, pressed insistently against the thin barrier of your towel. A sharp contrast to the teasing smirk still tugging at his lips, like he wasn’t fully acknowledging just how much you could feel him right now.
But he knew. Of course, he knew.
Your hands instinctively gripped his shoulders, fingers pressing into the warm, firm muscle beneath your palms. He was still naked, still radiating heat, and the moment your hips shifted—just the slightest bit—the friction sent a sharp pulse of heat straight through you.
Jensen groaned softly, low in his throat, his hands tightening around your thighs. "Shit", he muttered, voice raspier now, thick with something that wasn’t just amusement anymore.
You swallowed hard, pulse thrumming against your skin. "You should be getting ready", you murmured, though your voice lacked conviction, breathless as it was.
Jensen hummed, tilting his head, his lips brushing your jaw, his stubble rough against your sensitive skin. "Mmm. Could say the same for you", he countered, his fingers toying with the edge of your towel. "But here you are. On top of me".
Your stomach flipped, your thighs squeezing instinctively around his waist. He was right there, and your body knew it, heat pooling low in your belly, thighs already aching from the way last night had left you.
His hands slid up, tracing the curves of your waist beneath the towel, moving slow, unhurried, like he had all the time in the world. "Y’know", he murmured against your skin, voice dropping lower, rougher, "if you’re really worried about me being late, maybe you shouldn’t be sitting on my dick right now".
A sharp exhale left you, your fingers flexing against his shoulders. "Jensen—".
"What?". His lips ghosted over your neck, fingers finally gripping your hips properly now, rolling you against him just enough to make your breath catch. His cock pressed right where you needed it, even through the towel, and suddenly, your brain short-circuited.
You weren’t sure who moved first—if it was him guiding you, or your own body betraying you—but the moment your hips rocked, the friction made your nerves spark, made heat flood your core.
Jensen groaned again, this time deeper, almost gritted, his fingers pressing bruises into your skin. "Yeah", he muttered, breath warm against your ear. "Exactly".
You hated how easily he ruined you. Hated how you didn’t stop, how you didn’t want to stop.
"Fuck you", you breathed, but you were already rolling your hips again, chasing that slow, delicious friction, the warmth pooling between your legs unbearable now.
Jensen laughed, the sound vibrating against your throat. "You already did, sweetheart", he teased, nipping just below your jaw. "And by the way you’re moving? You’re about to do it again".
With a sharp tug, the towel was gone, slipping from your body and pooling somewhere on the sheets beneath you. A rush of cool air ghosted over your skin, but it did nothing to quell the heat burning between your thighs.
Jensen's hands were everywhere—firm, claiming—gripping your waist, sliding down the curve of your back, fingers pressing into your hips like he was anchoring himself. His green eyes darkened as he took you in, his gaze flickering from your lips to the bare expanse of your chest, down to where your bodies were about to connect.
“Fuck baby”, he muttered, his voice thick with something between admiration and desperation. “You’re gonna kill me”.
One hand slid between your bodies, guiding himself to where you were already dripping, already throbbing for him. The swollen head of his cock nudged against your entrance, teasing, pressing, the sensation enough to steal your breath.
Jensen sucked in a sharp inhale. "Fuck—you're still so sensitiv from last night", he groaned, his voice strained now, his fingers tightening their grip on your waist.
Your stomach clenched at his words, your thighs trembling around him. "Maybe if you hadn’t—". You gasped as he pushed in just a little, stretching you open with maddening slowness. "Hadn’t wrecked me so hard, I wouldn't be".
Jensen let out a low, breathy chuckle, but his control was thinning—you could see it in the way his jaw tensed, feel it in the way his fingers flexed against your hips. "Oh, sweetheart", he murmured, his other hand sliding up your side, palming your breast before his fingers curled around the back of your neck, tugging you down. "That was barely me wrecking you".
And with that—he pulled you down onto him, fully, completely, stretching you inch by inch until he was buried to the hilt inside you.
A ragged gasp left your lips, your body clenching around him, adjusting to the sudden, overwhelming fullness.
"Ouw—", you choked out, nails digging into his shoulders.
Jensen groaned, his head falling back against the pillows for a moment, his fingers gripping your hips hard enough to bruise. “Fuck, baby. Look at you”. His voice was wrecked, strained with restraint, with the effort it took for him to not move just yet.
Your breath shuddered, your body trembling at the way he filled you, at how perfectly he stretched you. Every inch of him throbbed inside you, heat coiling at the base of your spine, your thighs quivering where they straddled his hips.
"Jensen", you breathed, barely able to form words, your nails dragging down his chest.
That was all it took.
His fingers flexed against your waist, and then he moved.
A slow, deliberate roll of his hips that sent blinding pleasure spiraling through your core.
You whimpered, your hands flying to his chest for support, but he didn’t stop, didn’t give you a chance to catch your breath. He lifted you just enough before pulling you back down, forcing you to take every inch of him, again and again, harder, deeper, until the only thing spilling from your lips were broken, gasping moans.
"Fuck, that’s it", he gritted out, watching the way your body took him, the way your back arched, your mouth parted in pleasure. His grip on your waist tightened as his hips snapped up, meeting you with every downward roll, sending sharp jolts of electricity through your veins.
"You feel so good", he growled, his voice raw, his fingers possessive as they dug into your skin. "So fucking tight. Like you were made for me".
Your head tipped back, pleasure burning through you, your body already starting to tremble. The grinding, the pace, the deep, deep thrusts—it was too much, and not enough all at once.
"Jensen—". His name spilled from your lips like a plea.
He grinned, though it was more of a snarl, his control slipping. "That’s right, sweetheart. Say my name while I ruin you again".
And he did.
Jensen's grip tightened as he slammed up into you, pulling you down to meet each thrust, forcing you to take him deeper, harder, rougher. The stretch was overwhelming, the pleasure devastating, your body reduced to nothing but fire and sensation as he filled you over and over again.
Your fingers clawed at his chest, nails dragging against the firm ridges of muscle, desperate for something—anything—to ground you. But there was nothing to hold onto. Nothing but him.
"Jensen". His name left your lips in a gasping, broken moan, your head tipping back as your body clenched around him.
He groaned, the sound wrecked, his hands sliding from your waist to your thighs, lifting you slightly before slamming you back down onto his cock. "Fuck—just like that", he muttered, his breath coming ragged now, but his pace never slowed. If anything, he was getting rougher.
Pleasure shot up your spine, white-hot and blinding, your nerves on the edge of snapping. Every thrust hit deep, hitting that spot that had your toes curling, your stomach clenching, the coil inside you winding impossibly tight.
Jensen noticed. Of course, he did.
"Shit, you’re close already", he rasped, voice thick with pride, with something dangerously close to obsession as he watched you, completely undone on top of him.
You whimpered in response, your nails digging into his skin, your thighs starting to tremble.
He smirked—dark, satisfied, in control—as he sat up suddenly, one arm wrapping around your waist, the other gripping your jaw. His lips crashed against yours, swallowing your moans as he thrust up, sharp and precise, stealing the last bit of composure you had left.
"You gonna come for me, sweetheart?", he murmured against your mouth, his breath hot, teasing. His hand slid down between your bodies, fingers finding your clit, rubbing in slow, deliberate circles that had you shattering within seconds.
The orgasm slammed into you with a force that left you breathless, your body tensing, then shaking apart, pleasure pulsing through every nerve ending. A strangled cry tore from your throat as you clenched around him, waves of heat rolling through you as he kept fucking you through it, dragging it out, making you feel every second of it.
"That’s it", Jensen groaned, voice gritted, strained, his hands bruising as he held you still, as he thrust up one last time, burying himself deep. A guttural sound tore from his throat as he spilled inside you, his whole body tensing beneath you, pleasure rolling through him in hot, shuddering waves.
For a moment, the world spun, the only thing grounding you was him, his grip on you, his breath ragged against your skin.
Silence settled between you, thick and heavy, the aftermath still buzzing in the air. Jensen didn’t move, still buried inside you, his arms still wrapped around your body like he wasn’t ready to let go just yet.
And maybe—just maybe—you weren’t either.
But the moment couldn’t last.
He sighed against your neck, pressing the faintest kiss to your damp skin before finally leaning back, his hands gentler now, smoothing over your sides. "If I wasn’t late before", he muttered, voice still rough with exhaustion and satisfaction, "I definitely am now".
A weak laugh escaped you, your forehead dropping to his shoulder. "That’s your fault", you murmured, your body still tingling from the aftershocks.
Jensen chuckled, but instead of answering, he slid his hands up your back, slow, lazy, his fingers tracing soft patterns against your skin.
And that? That was what scared you the most.
Not the sex. Not the sneaking around.
But this—the way he lingered, the way he touched you even when he didn’t have to. The way he stayed.
Because deep down, you knew…
You were breaking all your own rules.
The loud pounding at the door jolted you from the haze of aftershocks and warmth, panic surging through your system.
“Ackles!”, Jared’s voice boomed through the room, followed by another aggressive set of knocks. “We’re fucking late! Get your ass out here!”.
Your entire body stiffened, still perched on top of Jensen, still connected, your thighs sticky, your skin hot from the lingering heat of what had just happened.
Jensen groaned dramatically, his head falling back against the pillow, one lazy hand brushing over his face. “Fuck, Jared”, he muttered, completely unbothered, like he hadn’t just fucked you into oblivion and left you a trembling mess.
Your eyes widened, panic gripping your chest. “Oh my God—”. You scrambled, instinct taking over, hands bracing against Jensen’s chest as you tried to get off him, but his grip tightened.
“Not so fast, sweetheart”. His voice was low, smug, his fingers digging into your waist just enough to make you shiver.
Your heart slammed in your chest. “Jensen—he’s right there!”, you hissed, eyes flicking frantically to the door as Jared knocked again, harder.
“Jensen! If you don’t open this damn door in ten seconds, I’m coming in! I will use my keycard, asshole!”.
Jensen just smirked, his other hand trailing down your thigh, so slow, so possessive, like he wasn’t at all worried about getting caught.
“Let him”, he muttered, his voice gravelly, his hips rolling up just a fraction, making you gasp, clench around him involuntarily.
Your stomach flipped, a sharp pulse of pleasure shooting through you even as your mind screamed in panic.
“You’re insane”, you whispered sharply, shoving at his bare chest, your pulse racing, the heat of him still inside you, still filling you so perfectly.
Jensen laughed, low and smug, but he finally released you, letting you scramble off him just as another aggressive knock rattled the door.
You stumbled, nearly falling, your legs still weak, your thighs still aching from the way he’d ruined you minutes ago. You barely managed to grab your discarded towel, wrapping it around yourself in record time as you bolted toward the bathroom doorway, trying to make yourself invisible.
Jensen, meanwhile?
Completely unbothered.
He stretched slowly, rolling out of bed with a lazy ease that made it clear he wasn’t in any kind of hurry.
Another pounding knock.
“Jensen!”.
Jensen rolled his eyes, dragging a hand down his face, clearly in no rush to deal with the six-foot-four nuisance on the other side of the door.
Little did you know, Jensen had already told Jared about you a couple of days ago. He’d expected this moment, knew it was only a matter of time before you got caught sneaking around.
But seeing you panic like this?
Adorable.
So, he let you squirm.
He smirked to himself as he tugged his shirt over his head, deliberately taking his time, knowing full well that you were still pressed against the bathroom door, heartbeat racing, eyes wide with the kind of panic he found way too entertaining.
Another pounding knock.
"Jensen! Open the damn door, or I’m—".
Finally, finally, Jensen swung it open, arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the frame, giving Jared a bored look.
"Jesus, Padalecki", he muttered. "Ever heard of patience?".
Jared’s eyes narrowed, already looking pissed as hell, his gaze flicking over Jensen’s still-rumpled appearance—messy hair, swollen lips, trunks thrown on in a half-assed attempt to look presentable.
Jared’s brows lifted.
"Oh", he muttered, crossing his arms. "You definitely weren’t sleeping".
Jensen just grinned. "Didn’t say I was".
Jared squinted, eyes flicking past him into the room. Jensen angled his body slightly, blocking just enough of the view to keep you hidden, even though—let’s be real, the entire scene was screaming of exactly what had happened.
The unmade bed. The disheveled sheets. The fucking smell.
Jared let out a long, slow sigh, rubbing a hand over his face. "Dude".
Jensen smirked, playing dumb. "What?".
Jared’s lips twitched, like he wanted to laugh but was too annoyed to let himself. "You serious right now?".
Jensen shrugged. "Look, man, if you’re mad I didn’t invite you, just say so".
Jared grimaced, shoving his shoulder. "Oh, fuck off".
Jensen chuckled, but before Jared could barrel past him into the room, he leaned in slightly, lowering his voice just enough.
"Don’t be a dick", he murmured. "You already know who’s in there".
Jared stilled.
His brows shot up, just slightly, before his expression shifted—less annoyed, more intrigued.
"Oh, so you finally told her I know?".
Jensen’s smirk deepened.
"…Not exactly".
Jared let out an exasperated groan, dragging his hands down his face. "You’re such an asshole".
Jensen grinned, clearly having way too much fun with this. "Yeah, but I’m your asshole".
"Unfortunately", Jared muttered, shaking his head. He peered past him again, curiosity flickering behind his eyes. "So, are you gonna let her out, or are we pretending she doesn’t exist?".
Jensen chuckled, finally turning his head toward the bathroom.
"Sweetheart?". His voice was sickeningly amused, way too pleased with himself. "You gonna come say hi, or you planning on hiding in there all day?".
You froze, heart pounding, throat suddenly dry as hell.
Jared knew?
Jared fucking knew?
And Jensen never told you?!
You were going to kill him.
Slowly.
You exhaled sharply, gathering yourself, before stepping out of the bathroom, towel still wrapped around you, your face heating instantly when Jared’s knowing gaze landed on you.
Jared blinked.
Then, with zero hesitation, he smirked.
"Oh". He nodded, fighting back a laugh. "Yeah. That definitely tracks".
Jensen’s grin widened, watching the way you glared daggers at him before crossing your arms, clearly one second away from launching something at his head.
"You knew", you said flatly, eyes locked onto Jared.
Jared snorted. "Oh, yeah. Jensen spilled days ago. Thought you knew".
Your eyes snapped back to Jensen, murder flashing behind them.
"You are so fucking dead".
Jensen grinned like a bastard, completely unbothered.
"Yeah, yeah", he murmured, stepping closer, hands slipping around your waist as he pressed a slow, teasing kiss to your temple, just to piss you off more. "Still worth it, though".
You swore you saw red.
And Jared?
Jared just laughed his ass off.
Eventually, Jared shifting his weight before casually holding out his hand toward you.
"Well", he said, smirking, "since we’re not pretending you don’t exist anymore, I guess I should properly introduce myself—".
But before you could take it, his expression shifted, realization hitting him like a freight train. His hand hovered in midair for a second before his face twisted in horror, and he yanked it back.
"Actually, you know what—never mind". He grimaced, shaking his head, his face scrunching up like he just walked into something disgusting. "I just remembered exactly what you two were doing before I knocked".
Your face flamed, heat rushing to your ears as the memory of exactly what had just happened surged through your mind.
Jensen, meanwhile?
Losing his damn mind.
He let out a loud, unrestrained laugh, gripping his stomach as he leaned against the doorframe, fully enjoying the absolute mess unfolding in front of him.
"Wow, Padalecki", he mused, mockingly wiping a fake tear from his eye. "And here I thought you were all about bonding".
Jared shot him a flat look, clearly unamused. "Yeah, I’m good, thanks. No need to get that close".
Jensen just grinned, slinging an arm lazily around your shoulders, pulling you closer as his fingers toyed with the edge of your towel—just to mess with you.
You immediately tensed, glaring up at him. "Jensen", you hissed through clenched teeth, shifting slightly, hyper-aware of just how little was covering you.
He winked, voice dropping.
"Relax, sweetheart", he murmured, lips brushing your ear, "not like Jared hasn’t already figured out how thoroughly I just fucked you".
Your entire face ignited, heat rushing through you so violently you had to physically shove him away.
"Jensen!", you sputtered, barely resisting the urge to smack him.
Jared groaned loudly, rubbing his temples. "For the love of God, can we go now?".
Jensen let out a dramatic sigh, rolling his shoulders like getting up and leaving was the biggest inconvenience in the world. "Yeah, yeah. Just lemme grab a shower real quick", he muttered, stretching. "Need to get her off my body first".
Your face somehow got even hotter, and Jared immediately threw up his hands.
"NOPE", he declared, turning around so fast it was almost cartoonish. "I refuse to hear another goddamn word. I will be downstairs, waiting, pretending none of this ever happened".
And just like that, he was gone, muttering something under his breath as he disappeared down the hall.
The second the door clicked shut, you spun on Jensen, smacking his arm hard enough to make him chuckle.
"You are such an asshole", you snapped, mortified beyond belief.
Jensen just laughed, stepping closer, hands gripping your waist again.
"Yeah", he murmured, pressing a slow, teasing kiss to your lips, "but you like me anyway".
Only ten minutes later, Jensen was moving around the room, hastily buckling his belt, his shirt slightly wrinkled, his hair damp from the world’s fastest shower.
You were still sitting on the bed, still half-naked, towel barely hanging onto you, watching him with a mix of amusement and exhaustion.
"Never seen you move this fast", you teased, tilting your head as he grabbed his SnapBack off the dresser and shoved it on backwards, clearly prioritizing speed over style.
Jensen shot you a look, smirking. "Yeah, well, someone made me late", he murmured, pointedly, as he reached for his watch—
Only to realize you had already picked it up.
You held it out lazily, wrist dangling over the edge of the bed, watching as he stepped closer, his fingers brushing yours as he took it.
That little touch—as brief as it was—made your stomach flip, and suddenly, you were too aware of the way he was looking at you.
Like he was thinking about throwing you back onto the bed all over again.
Like he was debating if being late was really that big of a deal.
You swallowed, trying to keep your voice steady. "Better hurry, or Jared’s gonna come back up here and kick the door down".
Jensen exhaled sharply, reluctantly strapping the watch onto his wrist, still smirking like a bastard. "That man needs to take a breath. It’s not like they’re starting without me".
"You mean the convention where thousands of people are literally waiting for you?".
He shrugged, completely unbothered, but then his eyes flicked back to you—still sitting there, still wrapped in nothing but a towel, still looking too goddamn tempting for your own good.
His smirk turned dangerous.
"You’re really not making it easy to leave, sweetheart", he muttered, fingers trailing lightly along your bare thigh, like he was considering being just a little later.
Your breath hitched, body still sensitive from before, but you quickly swatted his hand away, sending him a warning glare.
"Nope". You shook your head. "You’re already late because of me. I am not responsible for you missing your flight next".
Jensen chuckled, hands up in mock surrender, but you could see it—the way he hesitated, the way he looked at you like he wanted to stay just a little longer.
And that?
That was dangerous.
Because you couldn’t let this become more than what it was.
So you forced a smirk, tilting your head as you leaned back against the pillows, stretching slightly.
"Besides", you murmured, voice laced with mock innocence, "I think you’ve had more than enough of me for one morning".
Jensen’s jaw ticked, his smirk faltering just for a second before his gaze darkened, his fingers twitching like he wanted to reach for you again.
But instead, he exhaled sharply, shaking his head with a grin, before taking a deliberate step back.
"Yeah, we’ll see about that", he muttered, winking before turning toward the door.
And as he grabbed his keycard and slipped out, leaving you alone in that messy, wrecked hotel room—
You had a feeling he was right.
This wasn’t over.
Not even close.
The silence in the room was deafening now that Jensen was gone.
You sat there for a moment, towel still wrapped around you, staring at the mess of sheets, the faint imprint of where he had just been. The room still smelled like him—his cologne, the heat of his skin, the lingering scent of sex and something more.
And yet, all you could think about was what had just happened.
Jensen told Jared about you.
Your stomach twisted at the realization, your fingers gripping the edge of the towel tighter.
Why?
The two of you weren’t even labeled. That had been his rule, not yours.
No commitments. No expectations. Just this. Stolen moments, hotel rooms, late-night calls that always ended the same way.
Jensen had made it clear from the start—he wasn’t looking to settle down again, not after everything with Danneel. You were his secret affair or whatever the hell this was.
So why the fuck did he tell Jared?
Jensen wasn’t the type to just share information for no reason. Jared was his best friend, sure, but that didn’t mean Jensen had to tell him everything.
Especially about you.
And yet—he had.
Days ago, apparently. And he hadn’t even mentioned it. Hadn’t even warned you.
Your heart did a weird, uneasy flip, frustration creeping up your spine.
What did it mean?
Was it just Jensen being careless?
Or was it something more?
You hated that the question lingered, that it stuck in your chest, leaving you restless in the empty bed. Because no matter how much you told yourself this was casual, simple, no strings attached—
Jensen had just tangled you up in something you weren’t prepared for.
And you weren’t sure what the hell to do about it.
Inside the car, the steady hum of the road filled the space as Cliff sat in the front seat, engaged in casual conversation with the driver. The ride to the convention center was smooth, quiet—until Jared turned to Jensen, his voice low, casual, but laced with curiosity.
"She’s pretty young, huh?".
Jensen’s jaw ticked, his fingers drumming lazily against his thigh as he leaned back against the seat. He didn’t react right away, just let the words sit in the air for a second before exhaling through his nose.
He knew what Jared was doing.
"She’s twenty-five", Jensen muttered, glancing out the window like that was supposed to end the conversation.
Jared tilted his head, not buying it. "So… twenty-one-year age gap?". His brows lifted slightly, his tone neutral, but Jensen knew him too well.
"Jesus", Jensen grumbled, running a hand through his damp hair, still backwards in the damn SnapBack because he hadn’t even bothered fixing it properly. "Thanks for the math, professor".
Jared smirked but didn’t drop it. "I mean… it’s kinda a thing, dude", he said, shifting slightly to look at him. "Not saying it’s bad. Just… different for you".
Jensen didn’t respond immediately, but the muscle in his jaw twitched again.
Because yeah, Jared was right.
It was different.
Jensen wasn’t blind. He knew people would raise eyebrows if they knew. Twenty-one years. That was a big gap, no matter how he spun it. And yeah, you were young, but you weren´t a kid—you were smart, independent, and didn’t take his shit.
And yet, that wasn’t the part that bothered him.
It was the fact that Jared was bringing it up at all.
Which meant he noticed something.
Jensen sighed, shifting in his seat, still staring out the window. "She’s not some kid, man", he muttered, rubbing his jaw. "She knows what this is. I’m not leading her on".
Jared made a small humming sound, still watching him. "Right".
Jensen glanced at him, eyes narrowing slightly. "What?".
Jared shrugged, tone even. "Nothing", A beat of silence, then— "Just saying, if it’s really nothing, you wouldn’t have told me about her".
Jensen’s stomach clenched, but he kept his face neutral.
"Thought you’d figure it out anyway", he muttered, shrugging. "You always do".
Jared huffed a quiet laugh, shaking his head. "Yeah. But you never tell me unless you want me to know".
And there it was.
Jensen’s fingers flexed against his knee, his teeth pressing together slightly, but he didn’t argue.
Because Jared was right.
Again.
And that?
That was the part that fucked with him the most.
Jared sensed the difference immediately.
It was subtle, something most people wouldn’t catch—but Jared knew Jensen too well.
During the double photo ops, Jensen was usually his usual self—smiling, laughing, making fans feel comfortable. But there was always something else, something second nature to him.
He looked.
Jensen always checked out the women who caught his interest, just a quick glance, a flick of his green eyes as if gauging if they were worth a second look.
He’d done it for years.
Hell, even when he was married to Danneel, he still had that instinct—never acting on it, never disrespectful, but the habit was there.
But this time?
Nothing.
Jensen’s gaze never lingered. Never even flickered to anything other than the camera, the fan he was greeting, or whatever dumbass joke Jared was cracking beside him.
Not once did he do the subtle once-over. Not once did he let his eyes wander, even briefly.
Jared took note.
He took a lot of notes.
Especially when, during a break between photo ops, Jensen pulled out his phone, his expression shifting just slightly—a look that Jared had never seen Jensen wear while texting someone.
Not some smug grin like he was setting up a fun night. Not some casual response like he didn’t care.
This was different. This was soft.
Jared leaned over slightly, trying to get a glimpse. "Who’s got you smiling like that?", he teased.
Jensen immediately locked the screen, tucking his phone away without so much as a word.
And that?
That spoke volumes.
Jared smirked to himself, shaking his head.
"Yeah", he muttered under his breath. "That’s what I thought".
The panel was going smoothly—plenty of laughs, plenty of inside jokes, the usual back-and-forth banter that fans ate up. Jensen and Jared had been doing this for so long it was second nature at this point.
But then, the question happened.
A fan stepped up to the mic. “What’s the biggest age gap crush you’ve ever had?”.
Jensen froze for a second, his brows knitting together as he tilted his head.
He was clearly trying to decipher the question, his brain gearing up for the wrong interpretation.
“I don’t know.. I don’t… I mean..I didn’t really have like.. uh.. crushes on celebrities when I was… I was too busy…“, he mumbled, still trying to piece it together.
Jared, standing beside him, instantly sensed the opportunity.
He grinned, just barely, leaning into his mic. “Doesn’t have to be a celebrity”.
The moment the words left his mouth, Jensen stiffened.
It was so fast, so subtle, but Jared caught it.
“Well”, Jensen started, but Jared interrupted him. “I‘m gonna answer for him“.
“Oh, great”, Jensen muttered, taking a long, slow sip of his coffee, like he was bracing himself for whatever the hell was about to come out of Jared’s mouth.
Jared, still grinning like a smug bastard, paused for dramatic effect, scanning the audience before leaning forward again.
“He has… he currently has.. a crush.. on somebody who is… ”, he drawled, dragging it out.
Jensen’s entire body tensed.
His eyes flicked with panic, just for a second—the kind of split-second panic that screamed oh, shit, I just got caught.
And that reaction?
Worth every damn second.
Jared barely bit back a laugh as he pivoted, fast as hell, finishing the sentence smoothly.
“34 years younger and 31 years younger”, He nodded dramatically. “And they’re his daughters”.
The audience roared with laughter and `aaaww´s´ completely missing the tiny moment that had just unfolded.
Jensen exhaled through his nose, his jaw clenching, before leaning into his mic with a deadpan look.
“What he said!”, Jensen quickly shot and earning more laughter from the fans.
———————————
A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰 
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Part 2
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ds-angel1 · 17 days ago
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can you do a hitman! rafe x reader fic where reader hires hitman! rafe to kill her cheating husband— and she finds out that rafe doesn’t seem too bad himself ;)
a/n: um so... I didn´t read the request well enough and didn´t see the cheating... so so sorry!! I´m gonna keep it the way I have it, cause it´s not that integral to the plot. I hope this isn´t too far off from what you wanted and sorry that it´s taken me so long, such a cool request!!!!
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cw: murder/hiring a hitman, brief mention of abuse, mention of shooting and drowning, unprotected sex
wc: ~ 1.5k
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The parking lot was a wasteland of cracked asphalt and flickering streetlights, each drip of water from a leaky gutter slicing through the silence like a metronome of dread.
Your footsteps echoed, uncertain and slow, each one louder than you'd like. Fingers twitched at your sides, restless and cold, while your mind spiraled, thoughts crashing into each other with no room to breathe, let alone think clearly.
Time stretched. Minutes passed like hours, every second a drumbeat in your chest. Then finally, movement. A figure emerged from the shadows.
A man. Jeans, hoodie, buzzcut, and a scowl etched so deep it looked permanent. His eyes swept the lot in quick, practiced scans before settling on you. He stopped just out of reach.
“Um… are you… the guy?” you asked, the words fumbling out, awkward and thin. You didn’t know his name, only what he was supposed to do.
“Yeah. You Mrs. Walton?”
The name stung, triggering something deep in your skull. You clenched your jaw. Not for much longer, you reminded yourself. Soon, it would be gone, scrubbed from your life like blood from tile.
“Yes,” you murmured.
He studied you, eyes dark and unreadable. “You got anything on you I should know about?”
You shook your head. “What… like a recorder? No.”
“Good.” His tone was flat, but the warning behind it landed hard. “If this gets out, there’s people who’ll handle it. Even if I’m inside.”
You nodded, stiff.
“You’re gonna buy a new phone. Cheap, burner. Text me when and where. Got it?” He held out a slip of paper, a scrawl of numbers barely legible in the dim light. “Half the money now, half when it’s done. I’ll text you the location for the other half the day before.”
Your fingers closed around the paper, knuckles pertruding with tension. Your brain burned the details into your memory, this wasn’t a mistake you could afford.
This was murder. You were paying to have your husband killed.
It sounded monstrous when you thought of it like that. But you’d run the math a hundred times. A divorce meant ruin, he’d bury you in court, leave you penniless, maybe even dead. You knew the connections he had. You’d seen the bruises. Felt them. This wasn’t just escape. It was survival.
You looked him in the eyes, steadied your breath, and nodded. “Okay.”
With one last glance over his shoulder, he turned and disappeared into the night, swallowed by the same darkness he came from.
And you stood there, hand tight around the number, knowing there was no turning back now.
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Just a few days later, the call came.
“Mrs. Walton? I’m terribly sorry to inform you—your husband was shot while driving to work this morning. The impact caused him to lose control of the vehicle… he drove off a bridge. Rescue teams are still recovering the car from the river, but… we’re confident he didn’t survive. I’m very sorry for your loss.”
It took them nearly two days to drag his overpriced luxury car out of the water, along with what was left of him. His bloated hands, that smug face already softening with rot. The bullet, once perfectly placed over his heart, had nearly dissolved in the water, just like the man himself, dissolving into memory, into myth, into nothing.
Then came the wave: condolences, hushed voices, solemn faces, the funeral. You cried on cue. Hugged on cue. Played the grieving widow like you’d been born for it. You should’ve won something for that performance, an Oscar, at least.
Six days after the hit, the text finally arrived.
A location. Coordinates in the kind of place GPS signals go to die—the edge of the worst part of town, where the streetlights didn’t bother working and the air smelled like rust and regret.
You showed up on time. Summer, yet the sun dipped early, casting the trailer in long shadows. It looked like it had been pieced together from scraps and curses. Through the grimy window, you spotted him, same buzzcut, same scowl, hand lazily resting on his chin as he watched you approach.
By the time you reached the door, he was already there, holding it open with that same unreadable expression. Wordless. You stepped inside.
“You got my money?” His voice was gravel in the cold, stale air.
“Yeah.” You reached into your purse, pulling out a plastic bag stuffed with bills—his money, technically. Now yours.
He took it without ceremony, fingers rummaging through it, counting. “You stay while I go through this,” he muttered.
“Okay,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.
The silence was sharp. Tension hung like a fog as he flipped through stacks, licking his finger, counting aloud under his breath.
“Did… did you plan that?” you finally asked, breaking the quiet. “The river, I mean. To like... get rid of evidence?”
A low hum escaped him. A yes, maybe. Or just acknowledgment.
You let another beat pass before speaking again, quieter now. “Is this... your place?”
“Friend’s,” he answered, clipped and uninterested.
You frowned, letting out a small huff and turning your gaze to the peeling walls. His eyes flicked up at the sound.
“Something wrong?”
“No,” you said, folding your arms. “Just think you could be a little less rude. You know, considering.”
He raised an eyebrow, genuinely incredulous. “Yeah? I kill people for a living. You expect rainbows and compliments?”
You met his stare. “Wouldn’t kill you to be a little more polite to your clientele.”
Your words were met by a roll of his eyes before he stood slowly, nearing you threateningly.
“Oh yeah? Ya want me to be nice to you, darlin´?”
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You don’t know how it happened, the moments between those few words and now, were a blur.
You were sat on the cluttered counter of the trailer sink, arching your back off of the wallpaper-ridden walls as the man holding your thighs to your chest was pumping in and out of you unapologetically rough and hard.
His eyes, illuminated only by a tiny lamp in the corner, were strictly focused on the sight of his length being engulfed by your soppy cunt.
You let out whine after whimper and moan after exclaim, muttering about his size and how damn good it felt over the lude squelching sounds and the rattling of the trailer. The tip of his mind-screwing cock hit a spot inside you your dead husband could never reach, making you come like you never have as he emptied his seed inside your warm, inviting womb.
Silence settled in, thick and charged, as the two of you caught your breath. His thumbs traced slow, almost tender circles on your bare hips, an unspoken lullaby after the storm. Then, with a quiet groan, he pulled out. A soft, slick sound followed, and a warm rush of your mingled release slipped from you, trailing down your inner thigh.
“Fuck,” he muttered, low and almost reverent as if the word alone could ground him.
He crouched down, redressing you with surprising care, slipping your panties back up, smoothing your skirt into place. His hands lingered at your waist as he guided you upright, placing you gently on trembling legs.
“You don’t tell anyone about this,” he murmured, voice barely more than a breath. His gaze lingered on your face, drinking in the wreckage of your expression, flushed cheeks, mascara streaked in messy rivers, eyes wide with something between shock and surrender. The dim light tried to swallow it all, but it couldn’t. He saw everything.
He reached up, his fingers rough but delicate as they wiped away the smudges beneath your eyes.
“Okay…” you whispered, the word ghosting past your lips. Your mind hadn’t caught up yet, still lost somewhere between shame and euphoria, disbelief and craving.
He nodded once, sharp and unreadable, before turning to the bag. Without finsishing counting, he began gathering the stacks of money, trusting it was all there. Somehow, that trust felt heavier than anything he’d said aloud.
You watched him in silence, your heart thudding like it was trying to break out of your chest.
“Can I… will I see you again?” you asked, your voice barely steady enough to make it out of your dry throat.
He didn’t look up. Not until his bag was zipped shut with all the money you paid him for killing your husband buried deep inside. Just like his cum was buried deep inside you.
“Keep the phone,” he said, tone flat, but something in it twisted, subtle and raw.
Your pulse quickened, your breath catching in your throat.
He walked to the door, hand gripping the bag so tightly that his tanned knuckles turned pale. You stepped forward, words tumbling out before you could stop them.
“Wait… what´s... what’s your name?”
He paused in the doorway, half in shadow. Then, turning his head slightly, just enough for his voice to reach you.
“Rafe. My name is Rafe.”
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