#It was called flower. Right? Idk. You were just petals blowing through the wind. Seeing different places. Different times.

[the-scungles-of-crungles]

Oh man. That caption on the art reminds me of when I used to play Journey. Usually other people would join you, you wouldn't know who they were until the credits, and you could only communicate through strange lil noises.

I think sometimes it was an npc.

... I'm remembering the sadness of when the other player would leave. Their character would simply sit down. You'd have to just move on until the next player showed up in the next area.

You'd meet a few different people along the way, lose them, find another who looked the same, not be sure if it was someone new, and somehow feel a strange sense of friendship despite the lack of identification or communication.

I wonder if there's still people playing it. Making those temporary bonds, going through the same simple story over and over again, continuing a cycle that started long ago. Damn...

they should do an MMO where everyone is a shapeshifter and you can go live with animal herds in the wild if you want for a time but you are never entirely one of them, noting that the wild animal npcs partake in behaviors with or make calls to one another that you may not understand the logic of but can try to learn to repeat the musical cadence of. this is true of even the human npcs, whose musical language is the most intricate and complex to learn of all and who will ostracize you readily if you do not use it properly. other players are not marked as players and there is no chat feature. as an elk you may not know if the wolf chasing you is an npc or another player who does not know the same of you, and there is no chat. maybe the players would develop a sort of musical cadence to identify other shifters. no one would like this game and it would not be fun. but i would like it

[eclipsedpascal]

You Deserve This

Andy Dolan x Female Reader

GIF by @kissxmedeadly !!

“The reader asking Andy about his kiddo (let's pretend is a lil boy 🤣) and him being very emotional about it and the reader who truly loves him conforts him 😭❤️” - anon

Please read the warnings!!

Warnings: use of drugs (weed), smut, oral (female receiving), slight public sex, slight angst, mentions of rehab, mentions of suicidal thoughts, a lil bit of crying and VERY slight Eden spoilers, but thats only if you don't want to know anything AT ALL, so basically none? idk lmao:)

Notes: hi! So this is my first Andy fic, I wrote it very quickly last night after a sudden burst of inspiration and it doesn't make too much sense, also it’s kinda cheesy? I don't think I've ever written anything this angsty or soft before, but i’m trying to be more in touch w my emotions nd this is my way of doing that, so hopefully i'll do more things like this soon:) also if you’re interested, the title is one of my favourite songs by Men I Trust that I just thought fit Andy well.

Word count: 1.8k

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The warm, dancing breeze washed over your skin, plucking up your many goosebumps and blowing the rainbow coloured sea of petals that decorated the large garden from left to right. The bittersweet mix of their fragrances and Andy’s blunt rushed to you and filled your scrunched up, wrinkled nose as you let out a loud laugh. The vibrant expanse of fluffy grass felt close to a mattress underneath you, cradling your form whilst you laid amongst the greenery and watched Andy ghost a deep inhale of the blunt he had balanced precariously between two fingers. He flopped his arm across the gap between you and offered you another toke, the dopey smile spread over his features making you laugh even more.

“What’s so funny? Hmm?” He questioned you jokingly, rolling onto his forearms and bringing his face to hover just above yours as you brought the blunt to your lips. You couldn't hold in your laughter, your drug hazed state and the breeze that pushed his brown curls to tickle your blushing skin only exaggerating your amusement further as you choked out clouds of smoke.

“What??” He joined in laughing, finding humour in his own confusion and finding your laugh infectious. His lips found your own in a sudden yet gentle kiss which you gladly embraced, still not managing to fully compose yourself as you giggled into his open mouth.

You did your best to pull back from the kiss, but were reminded you didn't really have anywhere to go when you felt a blade of grass flutter against your ear. “It’s just.. your smile.” You rested your blunt carrying hand on his cheek as you spoke, feeling your heart swell when he pulled an overdramatic expression of insult at your reply.

“What’s so wrong with my smile?!” He half faked offence, not understanding what you could possibly find so amusing about it as you giggled more and more. “What’s wrong with it?- is it my lips? ‘They not good enough for you baby?” His thick accent aided his voice, making him sound even more attractive than he already was as he joked with you.

“Noo! it definitely wasn’t your lips, cause I love those.” You gripped his locks a little firmer, biting your lip as his stare changed from one of curiosity to one of want.

“Oh yeah?” He leaned back down and kissed you again, but this time rougher, the weed made you feel as if his lips were slowly melting into your own as it sent strong signals of lust through your body. He put all his weight on one arm, lifting the other and groping your waist with it whilst simultaneously moving to trail wet kisses down your neck.

His touches were deep, yet executed so delicately it convinced you if he was any rougher, you might just break. He opened the buttons of the flowing shirt you wore; one you had stolen out of his wardrobe that morning. He moved his head further down your chest to your stomach, mouth racing in slow motion to reach you were he wanted to most.

Forgetting to explain why you found his smile so funny in the first place, your high carried your thoughts closer towards how incredible his mouth felt on your skin, making you lean into his touch and let out a few small mewls.

As he reached your panty line, he tapped your hip, signalling for you to lift them so he could take your shorts off. He slid them off your legs in a quick, smooth motion that had them landing on a nearby lavender bush. The garden had quite a large variety of blossoming shrubbery and many clusters of beautiful flowers, it was probably down to the bi-weekly gardeners Andy had hired. You had known they were expensive and after spending so much time like this, lazing around, surrounded by the expensive home’s nature, you were beginning to understand why he had hired them.

You returned your gaze from the dangling shorts, back to the man nestled between your bare thighs. His beard was scratching at your skin in the best way possible as he laid small kisses over the thin fabric that covered your cunt. His hot breathe felt like fire as you wriggled and squirmed below him, just wanting some kind of contact from him.

He used two fingers to peel your panties to the side, groaning at the site of your glistening folds before kissing your clit gently. His tongue started swiping across your cunt slowly, taking all the time in the world to make you feel as good as he knew he could. You moaned loudly, grabbing at his hair once more as he sucked on you deeply.

“Mr Dolan?” You were interrupted by a throat clearing before hearing a man speak; one of Andy’s many servants you guessed. They had never seemed to leave the two of you alone whilst you had been staying there. No matter how big his home was, you always seemed to find another at every corner.

Andy looked up to the man with question and annoyance, raising an eyebrow at him as he wished for him to just hurry up and leave so the two of you could continue with your escapades. “It’s the phone for you Mr Dolan. Your son.”

Andy quickly rose from his place below you, his mind abandoning all thought of the act he was just partaking in as he jogged past the glass doors of his home, wanting only to speak to the young boy.

You sat up slightly, doing up a few buttons of your shirt and laying your crossed legs to the side of you as you held yourself up with your arm. You watched him as he scrambled into the house after his servant, little red marks from where he had been lying in the grass next to you were noticeably imprinted on the skin of his left arm, the one he had been leaning on, and his open shirt was flowing behind him with the speed he was moving.

You looked down to the flowers on front of you, picking a single daisy that bore tinted, pink tips on the end of each slim, white petal, twirling the stem around between two of your fingers as you listened to the breeze pick up. You could feel the mood of the air change as he left, the wind feeling more cold an irritating than once before as you pondered the call Andy was having.

You knew how desperate he had been to speak to his son again. It had been months since he had spoken to him without his ex-wife being the messenger. He missed him more than he knew to describe.

His recent divorce had been what had fuelled him to return home to Eden; hoping to find solace in the paradise he knew so well after feeling as if he had lost himself entirely. Spending too many years constantly playing other people had taken more of a toll on him than he had realised, that was until he was sent to rehab. After getting out, he felt as if staying in Eden was the only way for him to climb out of the dark hole he had managed to find himself in. Unfortunately, this journey of finding himself had meant making the decision to leave his son behind in Los Angles. Something he didn't like to speak on much.

When you had first met him in rehab however, he had been extremely open about his life, telling you how anger was the only emotion he could really feel anymore. Explaining that if he wasn’t at least the slightest amount intoxicated, he didn't think he couldn't go on with living; especially after the recent downfall of his career being showcased for the entire world to see. It was dark stuff, but you understood each other. That’s a big part of what made you grow so close.

You picked off petal after petal from the daisy, watching its beauty fade with each pluck and letting each one slowly blow into the breeze, creating a tragic stream as they blew away from you and down to the not so far off shoreline. As you plucked the last petal, you admired the daisy, still glowing with pollen and beaming in the sunlight despite have lost so many important parts of it. You stuck it into your shirt pocket and fell back down to lay on the grass as you waited for Andy to finish his call.

It had been maybe ten minutes you were lying with your eyes closed, enjoying the heat that beamed down from the clear, Australian sky when you finally heard the slow footsteps that you knew to be Andy’s, pattering along the grass. You shot up from where you lay to see the dopey-smiled man who had left you in the garden just fifteen minutes before, only to be faced with a red-eyed, teary one.

“Andy what happened? Are you okay?” He fell down onto the grass besides you, staring at you but completely wordless. You felt as if you could see into his soul. He was feeling so many emotions he hadn’t even been able to grasp at in so long. It was overwhelming him and you knew it. You reached out to stroke is cheek, concern running through you for the man that you had grown to love so dearly over the past few months.

He looked up “She’s gonna let me see him. T-They’re coming over next month.” A tear fell from his face as he smiled harder than you had ever seen him smile before. He was finally going to see his son after all these long months and you couldn’t have been any happier for him.

“Really?! That’s amazing, oh my god!” You moved forwards, wrapping your arms over his large shoulders and squeezing him in a hug so full of love it was palpable. “You really got to speak to him this time?” You questioned him once more before pulling away from his grasp, thinking back to the many times his ex-wife had promised he could speak with the boy but decided at the last minute he wouldn’t get to.

“Yeah!.. he uhh,” He took in a shaky breath, chuckling with joy as he recalled hearing the young boy’s voice so filled with excitement and energy over the phone. “He said he couldn't wait to meet you! You know, when I told him about you.” He stumbled over his words, running a hand through his hair as he shook with nerves, doing his best to calm himself.

In that moment, you felt your love for him soar higher than it ever had before. You were so proud of the progress he had made, and you knew his son would be too. “And I cant wait to meet him either.” You rested your forehead against his, the two of you enjoying a stand still and bathing in the happiness you both felt in the beautiful moment. The sound of the ever present breeze occupied your ears as the laughter emitting from two of you joined it, echoing a song throughout the garden that wouldn’t be forgotten any time soon.

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Thank you sm for reading!!🥺💗

Tags: @celestialrequiem @ntxoza @dark-mei-rose @sojournmichael @blakescoven @ritualmichael @ghostangels @fernfiction @ferndolan @brattylovee @7-wonders @angelicmichael @melodylangdon @brooklinn13 @kitty4860 @lavenderahs @michaellangdonstanaccount @9layerdevilfoodcake @chicaluna2410 @plymptxn-reborn I've just tagged anyone who I thought might be interested as per usual, but if you would to be removed feel free to let me know!! you can also lemme know if you would like to be added to the tag list too:)

[strawberrypancakesalltheway]

A Reverie Part II

its the continuation of my story called A Reverie. You guys can read it here!!

Slightly angst with happy ending~

A/N: this one is requested by @mai-the-queen (idk why I cant tag you) for the happy ending version. 

Warnings: none

Word count: 1596

Pairing: Nobunaga x MC (Mai)

“I love him. So much. To the point where you won’t understand. You don’t get it. It’s there. It exists. It flows. It moves like rapids through my vein. Comes with bursts and occasionally fades with the day, but it’s always there. And when you find love like that, you don’t want to give it up. But sometimes you have to and sometimes you have to give it to someone else. That’s the hard part”

Dominic Riccitello

 You thought that he will chase you, begging you to not end things.  But he didn’t. Now here you are, at your room, too tired to cry. Well, you get what you want, he leaves you alone, what else more did you want? You should be happy or relief. But you didn’t, you feel awful, cold and empty. You just sat there wondering where things went wrong? Whose fault is this? Is it yours? Sure, your past lover has said things or reasons why they broke up with you. Some said that you are too demanding, too ambitious, you work too much yada yada. But Nobunaga is different, he sees you way past that, he’s never nitpicking on why you love to sew or taking commission for kimonos, he’s never complain when you voice out whatever inside your mind. He loves you for who you are. Before you know it, the sun starts to rise, and you need to prepare for the work today at the castle.

There is not much differences of your activity in the castle. Helping the maid, sewing your commission, delivering letters to some of the warlord. He didn’t call you to the Tensu like usual morning, and no words from him after last night fight. Maybe, just maybe he also needs some space and time to think about both of you, your relationship.

Without you knowing, the evening came. The peaceful atmosphere surrounding the castle replaced by darkness that slowly creeping it. It rattles you, and somehow your guts telling you that something wrong or bad will be happened. You know that the castle is well guarded, and probably the safest place in the entire region, but still it didn’t sit well with you. So, you try to reach your room as soon as possible to calm yourself down.

You tried to calm yourself down by drawing a new design for the next kimono commission for a certain daimyo daughter, and it help you a little bit to settling down the bad feeling. Suddenly, there is a loud screaming and wood knocking echoing throughout the castle. There must be intruder inside, so you blow off the candle and listen to some guards running down the hall. You get out from your room and start to run along with several maid and guards towards the hall.

“Where are the warlords? Where is Lord Nobunaga?”

“Princess, they are currently fighting the intruder on east and west side of the castle. Lord Nobunaga currently fighting near the courtyard. Some of the intruder managed to get inside the castle. Princess, please you need to get out from here!”

You ignore the guard and run past them. This is it. This is probably what caused the bad feeling and dread you’ve felt today. Your stomach drops, the possibility of losing Nobunaga and the fact of those awful words you’ve said to him yesterday. You need to get to him, to make sure that he’s safe.

You ran past the hallway, cursing why it’s so vast. You noticed a group of maid and castle helper hurdled in a corner, some of them are crying.

“what are you guys doing here? Go to the safe room!! Quick!!”

You order some guards to court them to the safe room in the castle. You noticed an abandoned sword near you and you take it. By all means you didn’t have any martial or swords skill, but you’ve watched quite a lot of period dramas during your free time, so there is that.

“Okay, stab first, ask questions later. Here goes nothing!”

You continue to your way to the court area and it seems that the fighting has lessen. You thank whatever God that listening, the fact that you didn’t meet any of the intruder and you didn’t have to stab someone using your sword.

And there he is, standing in the middle of the court, surrounded by several dead bodies you assumed as the intruders. His sword drawn, blood trickling to the soil down below. He looked okay, you heard him giving orders to the castle guards to clear the castle from the intruders.

“Nobunaga!!”

You ran to him; the fight last night didn’t matter to you. What’s matter is that he is safe and alive. He looked surprised; a glint of relief also plastered on his face.

“Fireball, what are you doing here? It’s not safe here!”

“I’m okay. I... I just need to know that you are okay. I have this…. this bad feeling and I just want to make sure that nothing bad happened to you”.

You hug him, relieved that he’s okay. That your Nobunaga still breathing and alive. You realized that you still love him, and the thought of losing him nearly ripped you apart. He returned your hug, and for a second, nothing else matter to you.

You both let go of each other and you look at him. His eyes full of adoration and love for you. Those same eyes that held your entire world, a home to you. You both maybe not perfect and occasionally fighting with each other, but you love him and you can’t imagine a world without him.

“Nobunaga, I…” Suddenly a sharp pain spread at your chest. You didn’t understand what’s happening until you look down to your chest and saw the arrow protruding. And for a while, the world seems to stop.

“Mai!” Nobunaga starts to barks some order to catch the enemy archer. He cradles you to his arms, your blood starts to creeps to the surface of your kimono. Some of the warlords arrived at the courtyard, Masamune and Mitsuhide start to chase the archer who dares to shot you, while Ieyasu told Hideyoshi to prepare a room so that he could treat your wounds.

The pain in your chest start to spread to your whole body, and you’ve never felt something hurts to that extent. You look at Nobunaga’s face, your hands caressing his cheek in attempt to comfort him.

“I still love you, you know……...I’m..I’m sorry for last night” You try to smile, but you no longer able to hold your tears. You love this man so much that you are grateful the archer didn’t shoot at him. You tried to take a deep breath but the pain keeps increasing and your vision starts to blurred. And the last thing that crossed your mind before everything went black is that you’re grateful to meet such an amazing man and lover, and you hope that perhaps some God would take pity on you and let you spend the rest of your life with him.

*******************************************************************************************

The smell of cherry blossom flower rings up the air at the castle, along with some flower petal that dance along with the gentle wind. The sound of the castle bustling to its routine, birds chirping greeting the castle residents. Spring time is always beautiful, the nature reawakens from its sort sleep during the winter, along with people who have been patiently waits for the warm sunlight to shine all over them once more. You’ve always loved the spring, not too hot, not too cold.

You’re sitting bellow a cherry blossom tree near the courtyard, its one of your favorite places to just sit down and enjoying the day. It’s been a month since you’ve been shot by an arrow, without the existence of modern medical technology, the recovery rate is slower. However, with Ieyasu ability and knowledge, you are sure that you would recover and returns to the state you were before in no time. Since you are still recovering, you aren’t allowed to resume your activity as the chatelaine. All of the warlords doting upon you, makes sure that you process of recovery will be the main priority for them. Since you aren’t allowed to do things that you were supposed to do, you decided to take a rest and sit under this cherry blossom tree.

“Here you are, fireball. I’ve been looking for you” Nobunaga approach her and sit beside her.

“I’m kinda bored stuck at my room so I decided to spend my afternoon here. It’s so pretty”

You smiled at him and continue to look at the fallen petal. You start to reminisce the time you’ve spent here in sengoku era.

“It’s been a while, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is. Do you ever have any regret not returning back to the future?”

“Not at all, Nobunaga. This is my home now, with you”

“Good, because I don’t intend to let you go, fireball”

He kissed you, softly. His hand cradling your face, and his lips is so soft. Everything feels right to you. His kisses full of adoration and reassurance, trying to convinced you that he loves you more than anything. He makes you happy, sometimes frustrated. You both maybe fight sometimes but it didn’t mean that the love is gone. It’s definitely there, in the way he looked at you, the way he kissed you, in every single thing he does. And you fell in love with him again, for a thousand time, over and over again.

[mx-requests-forum]

[Fulfilled] Flower Shop

Prompt: kiho hanahaki disease au angst with an angsty end [plot: Hoseok loves Kihyun but Kihyun and Changkyun love each other and have been dating for so long that Hoseok can’t even confess] Idk i want to cry as a baby.

Fulfilled by @welcome-home-we-haz-biryani ! Thank you so much!!

Words: 3822

AO3 Link

Raising the tall flute to his lips, Hoseok takes a delicate sip.

The bubbling, golden champagne fizzes in his mouth, deliciously ice cold. It leaves a pleasant buzz on his tongue before he swallows it down, into the brunt of his body heat. He follows the feeling of the icy streak down his eosophagus until it disappears into the heat of his stomach.

He takes another sip, staring out unseeingly into the night as he refocuses on another cold shot seeping down his throat, down the canal that he's pretty sure lies so close to his lung cavity, close enough that the pleasant coldness brushes those nerve endings, spiking a shortlived burst of semi numbness through the expanse of his lungs.

He likes it. He likes the cold. He likes the numbness.

He likes how he can't feel his fingers holding the icy flute of champagne; he likes how the drink itself is so icy he can barely taste it but feel it instead with each sip and swallow. He likes standing out here in the balcony, unprotected by the cool, nightly breezes that have the tip of his nose numb and aching and find their way through the fancy dark blue suit he wears to sting at his body. His muscles are aching in the involuntary stiffness they're held in, his body shuddering unevenly from the freezing atmosphere. His feet too have gone numb and aching, given how long he's been out here, his back turned to the warmth and lights inside where loud laughter and chatter await to welcome him.

Hoseok sucks in a long, deep breath of the biting, raw air that smells of winter and snow. Breathes it into his lungs as long as he can. The cold reverbates inside him, and he decides he'll stay here a bit longer. He takes another sip, unseeing eyes lingering until they fall onto the balcony railing. And the numbness he tried to encase himself in cracks ever so slightly as his mind scrambles at something to think about.

He looks at, does not see, the flowers and ribbons twining around the rails in picturesque decoration one would pinpoint to some kind of celebration taking in place inside the stylish black building. And who would know better than Hoseok, the person in charge of all this decor? He looks at the flowers, and even though the night is so dark it would swallow him up, save for the dim yellow lights shining from above, he can see the dark, majestic purple petals streaked with black, perched atop stems the darkest, velvety green. The boquet is set off with a thick satin ribbon and bow of a light, creamy shade that twines along the railing till the ends wrap around the flowers in the middle.

"You know what to do, hyung. I know you do."

Hoseok is a horticulturist. That's what everyone insists on calling him, even though he has no degree in botany, or anything faintly close to biology. He prefers to stick to his own story wherein he worked part time at a flowershop, just another university student short of cash and wanting to be more authorative of his life. Besides, he liked flowers okay, and he thought himself lucky to get a nice job with a not-so-bad pay, as long as his employers were nice. It had seemed like the most cliched thing in the world at the time: a flowershop run and owned by a friendly old couple who were to remain satisfied with the life they'd lived to the very end. And as time went on, he realized some cliches are cliches for a reason.

Kihyun had never been skeptical of his choice of part time job, not even when he stuck to it through all their four years of university. After all, they were just students willing to work at anything as long as it offered enough money to manage moving out of the dorms or a fancy date. Everyone was doing the oddest of odd jobs, some of them with the better catch like Kihyun, who was a teacher's assistant and tutor being paid by the hour; some of them like Hoseok, on neither end of the bell curve but in the peaceful in-between; and some like Changkyun, one of the many juniors Kihyun tutored, who pieced together a myriad of odd and part time jobs to earn enough to eat.

Hoseok takes a cold breath, but this time it refuses to numb him, rattling his nerve endings so that inklings of sharp stabs bloom in his chest. Puffing out the breath just as rapidly, he raises the flute to his lips and gulps. The drink is still cold enough to frost over his innards, nipping the ache in the bud.

For now.

Hoseok was good at his job. He was nice to the customers. He charmed them with smiles and advised frantic first dates with the right flowers. He was very good at arranging complex bouquets, too, and he always had the shop restocked with the most exotic, beautiful flowers within the budget, much to his employers' bemused amazement. The flower shop, in short, slowly but surely gained popularity. Never did he let a flower wither before time, and to every green thumb and enthusiast, he gave the same answer:

"Just find out what makes a flower thrive."

And when that was followed with a "Well, what is that?", he answered the same, too:

"Love."

One thing that surprised him, though, was the concept of regulars. He'd believed that type of customers was a luxury for cafes and bars; places where people went to find some sort of comfort, some kind of peace.

Turns out there are two types of people-- those who look for relief and those who relieve. Flower shop regulars are always the latter, and who would know better than Hoseok, who's made the shop and its contents his life's work?

And he also knows that some of those people are empty and broken, that they need love as much as they prefer to be a giver. And that giving is what fixes them for a while, until the cracks reappear and they wind up at his counter once again, to which he smiles gently and hands them the bunch of flowers that's been waiting for a couple hours. Sometimes he sees the hollowness, the pain mirrored in their eyes so clearly it hurts, and they know he does. But it's the kind of personal pain you can't talk about, only sense and understand.

Why else do people buy flowers, and why else does each kind of flower hold a special message?

Most of the regulars weren't that deep-- the art major who loved sketching portraits (they later hired her to design a new sign), the hopeless romantic who stabbed himself one time too many in the pursuit of single roses or even the elderly old man who hobbled in like clockwork every Sunday for any type of flower, as long as they were white.

"Hyung, don't laugh..."

Hoseok did have some special clients, for whom he reserved only the very best. Changkyun, for instance, who came to be Kihyun's star crossed lover and vice versa.

And not that Hoseok was playing the younger dirty, but he wanted only the best for his best friend.

So the first time Changkyun burst into the shop, looking windblown and wide eyed, Hoseok just smiled.

"Kihyun told me he'd be going out tonight..."

"I need help."

"You're not the first, not the last."

"C'mon, hyung, you know better than me what Kihyun would like."

"I do know he has an expensive taste."

"I'm willing to work overtime."

Hoseok saw determination with its sharp edge behind the haze of first time date panic in the boy's eyes, and decided he just might give him a chance.

"Then this one's on me, kiddo."

It was more of an unspoken pact, signed the day Hoseok went to the back of the shop and reappeared with a magnificent bouquet deep purple flowers streaked with black, set off with a creamy ribbon, which he handed to a gaping Changkyun with the same charming smile he gave all his customers.

Make Kihyun happy.

Hoseok realizes he's draining the already none-too-generous flute too fast, and that the cold is seeping away too fast. He can't afford to go back inside. Not now. Not yet.

A gust of Siberian wind blows and he sucks some in, nostrils stinging and eyes watering slightly. But his lungs are nowhere near the four liters they're meant to intake at maximum capacity before they start to crumple in on themselves. His ribs ache, muscles spasming as he smothers a fit of racking coughs, swallowing down the itch and urge with practice that's been perfected over a span of some years.

Years in which the flowers changed, blooming more exquisite, more beautiful. And then there were so many that Hoseok allowed himself to restock the shop with them. Even when the old couple passed on the ownership to him, they didn't ask many questions about how he was managing it all. They seemed to believe what he said about making flowers thrive.

"Will you do us the honors, hyung?"

Kihyun was still training to be a teacher by the time Hoseok was officially the manager of now his flower shop. On one of the rare gap days Kihyun had between studying and working, he met up with Hoseok at the cafe they'd been going to ever since their first year of university. From stressing out over assignments to talking of buying an apartment, the place had always been home. Summer rain poured down the window panes as they sipped their hot drinks, and Hoseok can still taste the milky latte he had as fresh as the champagne he's drinking when Kihyun showed him the engagement ring on his finger.

"..Why am I not surprised?"

Kihyun had laughed, a rare, bashful smile on his face.

"Yeah, I know. It's just...I don't know if either of us are ready."

But Hoseok knew then, and knows now, that Kihyun was, if anything. prepared. Kihyun is a man who knows what he wants and knows how to get it. He knows his limits and strengths. He's a practical man, one used to the solidness and accuracy of mathematical formulas given life by physics, rather than the enigmatic tangles of the emotion called love. And Hoseok knew he'd get over that confusion too, because that's what Kihyun is good at doing: removing obstacles from the path of destination.

And judging from where Hoseok's standing today, Kihyun has been successful, like he always is.

The flute sweats in his hand, his palm uncomfortably clammy. The champagne has long lost its fizz as he downs the last drops of it, abruptly erupting in goosebumps. The cold is there but now it feels all wrong as odd parts of his body freeze while others sweat, his skin a patchwork of blotches. His heart is thudding unsteadily as the brunt of memories wash him over, vision distorting with each beat. He pulls in short, shallow breaths but no precaution in the world can stop the stabbing pain from blooming in his abdomen.

"It has to be you, hyung...after all this time Kihyun always loves your flowers. I want it to be the best day ever for him."

Hoseok exhales heavily, enduring the ache in his ribs with patience perfected over years.

It's already the best day for him, flowers or not. Because he has you.

Empty flute in hand, he finally turns and stumbles towards the doors. It takes a few tries for his stiff, aching fingers to clutch at the delicate handle and wrench them open, nose stinging again as warmth settles over him. He unsteadily makes his way down the winding staircase, sounds of laughter and talking growing louder as he descends.

How many dreams and fantasies has he tied up into bouquets and given away?

Hoseok reaches the marble floor just as a waiter passes by; in perfect choreography he places his empty flute on the tray perched on his hand and walks on without a second glance, navigating his way through the cliques of guests and dancers. His eyes raise above their heads, darting around as if looking for someone.

How many of those wishes are here, up against the walls, decorating the banisters and arranged in countless vases and tables, all on shameless display?

He sucks in a breath, the warm air agonizing inside his already tormented alveoli. He feels like a fucking tropical forest in there, squeamishly hot and wet and suffocating.

His eyes finally light on the couple who stand arm in arm amidst the guests, eyes bright and sparkling as they happily chat away with another one of their friends, Minhyuk. They lean into each other impulsively; yet as rings glint on their fingers, it's as if they're taking full advantage of the new titles they now hold for the same love.

Changkyun catches his eyes first and eagerly waves, pointing to him and talking to Kihyun at the same time, no doubt telling him there he finally is.

Does anyone even know what his flower shop has become as they mindlessly place in orders?

"Hoseok! Where were you?" Kihyun exclaims when he's within earshot, his eyes shining with drops and lenses wide in an expression Hoseok knows so well it's almost odd in this setting. The same look he gave him studying for finals is the same look he gives him right now, as a married man of three hours.

Hoseok half smiles.

"Bathroom. Think I'm coming down with something."

Kihyun raises an eyebrow, gently breaking away from Changkyun, who starts chatting away with Minhyuk again, deeming Hoseok socially present.

"For two hours? Are you okay?"

Kihyun's his best friend. Hoseok sighs, then immediately smothers a cough.

"I may have had a couple drinks too, y'know?" he manages to smirk at him, watching as he physically relaxes, eyes a little less critical.

"This is supposed to be a happy day, Seok. Not just ours, but..." Kihyun's voice trails off, reaching to place a hand on Hoseok's bicep.

"I mean, ours, you know what I mean? I ...I really can't tell you how much it means to me for you to be here...and have done all you have..." Kihyun purses his lips, and Hoseok's genuinely surprised for a second.

"Hey, hey, Ki, what're you getting at?" he asks, half laughing albeit confused. They've stepped off and away from Changkyun, who continues to mingle cheerfully.

"No, I..." Kihyun chuckles, too, a tad awkward as he tries grasp for reason between the mix of emotions flooding through him. Hoseok waits, like he always does when Kihyun's bogged down like this. Even now, he looks stunning, dark hair swept in a curve over his head, his black suit setting off his creamy skin perfectly and bringing out his dewy, bright eyes. They now meet his again as he finds words.

"I mean, Seok...it's just that you're my...my best friend...we've known each other so long it's crazy...it's...it's just...kinda...surreal...to be standing here at this point, me married, you my best man...and we literally grew up killing slugs on the pavement... it's just--" he breaks off, suddenly blinking unevenly.

"Oh, oh dear, is my conservative brother possibly feeling, oh, I don't know, emotional?" Hoseok bursts out laughing, thumping Kihyun on the back as he furiously dabs at his eyes.

"No! You idiot, shut the fuck up, I--"

"Hey," Hoseok chuckles fondly, "it's okay, Ki."

As he gently tugs his best friend into a hug, the latter allows himself to sniffle a bit into his shoulder. Hoseok soothingly rubs his shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly.

"We've come a long way, I know," he murmurs before thumping him again. "C'mon, Ki, you've got lenses in! Man up on your wedding day, mate," he teases as Kihyun chuckles weakly against him. "I never thought you'd be the type to go all soft like this."

"I'm not all soft, Seokie, I'll be fine in just a minute..."

"Stubborn as ever, are we?" Hoseok shakes his head. "C'mon, why haven't you run off to your precious honeymoon yet? That'll dry up those tears in no time," he adds with a smirk, earning a slap to his arm.

"You bastard," Kihyun says fondly, dabbing at the corners of his eyes one last time. "When are you gonna settle down then, huh? The next wedding I attend better be yours."

Hoseok rolls his eyes.

"Oh, Ki, are we having this conversation again? Besides, you've been married three hours, bro, I wouldn't get so high on my horse about being 'settled down'," Hoseok grins and is jabbed again.

"Aw, c'mon, Seok, you had it going so good with Hyungwon," Kihyun smirks, but he just shakes his head, smiling softly.

"Hyungwon, and all these other...flings...I've had..." he stares off into space as he searches for words, "they don't feel like the real thing, Ki. I've always felt as if I'm trying to distract myself from something bigger...something more true."

"Distract?" Kihyun's eyebrows have shot up as he latches onto the word. "Are you quite possibly in love already, Hoseok? Some unattainable crush?"

Hoseok meets his eyes, picoseconds stretching like taffy into eons, a lifetime of thoughts flashing through his mind, some of them blooming and withering on his tongue in a matter of those picoseconds.

"I couldn't say," he murmurs quietly, the raucous noise surrounding him comparatively peaceful to the white static in his head. "It's more like it doesn't feel right. I want to...I want to feel that click....like you and Kyunnie," he says out loud for the first time, watching Kihyun. Watches his eyes widen and then go bashfully dreamy.

"Click," he hums, as if testing the word out on his tongue, smiling slightly as he does so. "Guess you could say that. But it doesn't do much justice to what it feels like. And...I understand if that's how you feel, Hoseok. If you're waiting for that..then I'd say it'll be worth it."

It definitely has been.

"Someone's whipped," he raises an eyebrow, grinning as Kihyun's cheeks color, eyes crinkling. "Now please run off to that honeymoon already, Ki, because I really don't feel well enough to hang around any longer and I'm definitely not leaving before sending my best friend off."

"You know what, fuck the system, you're right," Kihyun agrees. "Just for you, though," he adds unnecessarily, and Hoseok smacks him.

"Don't pile your horny fantasies on me, mate. Get out and get 'em, tiger!"

"I already have him," Kihyun says none too quietly as he sashays back towards Changkyun. A second later he comes dashing back, throwing himself on Hoseok in a hug.

"Bye," he says meekly, causing him to snort before crushing him back,

"God, Kihyun, I feel like I'm sending you off to preschool," he laughs. "Didn't know you'd be so afraid of of all the nasty things you two are clearly--"

"Gah! Enough, I don't love you anymore," Kihyun rips away, his eyes crescents. "The one time I'm actually soft, Hoseok, I swear--"

He's cut off with a yelp as Hoseok scoops him up and carries him back to Changkyun, ignoring all the eyes that turn on them.

"Your husband is very eager to get on with the honeymoon," he smirks as Changkyun blinks. He sets down Kihyun. "You can carry him bridal style later, though. No hard feelings."

"Oh my God, Hoseok! On my--fucking--wedding!" Kihyun shrieks, whacking him with a fist. Hoseok shrugs.

"Isn't that what you invited me for?"

"The car's ready, let's get you two going!" Jooheon bursts in out of nowhere, the equivalent of Hoseok as Changkyun's best friend. Like the bachelors they are, all the friends gather to herd the newlyweds out of the hall and all the way to the car, Kihyun ranting about his picture perfect wedding being hijacked and Changkyun shrieking along happily by contrast. The movements charge Hoseok's lungs more than they can afford, but he manages to hold down the coughs that itch his throat with each breath he heaves.

It's only as the car is revving up, headlights bright in the dim night when the roof pulls back and Changkyun waves from his seat.

"Get married, suckers!" he yells, standing long enough to violently throw the bouquet he's holding. Minhyuk shrieks, darting forwards.

All at once, the car moves off, Kihyun and Changkyun waving. Around Hoseok everyone else is laughing and shrieking, the bouquet seemingly moving in slow motion. Hoseok watches his dreams and fantasies streak across the sky, arcing and tumbling gracefully towards the outstretched arms.

It shouldn't hurt as much as it does when everyone misses and the flowers hit the ground.

They are his, after all. He can't be anyone's catch either.

Does anyone realize what else flowers can serve for whenever they enter his shop?

Hoseok has a jagged edge, an edge that yearns to have another half that will fit with him perfectly. And if the one half he had has clicked with someone else so contently, who is he to rip them apart?

After all, all he's wanted is for Kihyun to be happy.

He's willing to let his own jagged side be chafed blunt. It isn't meant to fit in with Kihyun's anyway, not after all that he's witnessed. If he's meant to be they way he is now, he'll take it.

After all, Kihyun's always loved his flowers, delivered at the hand of Changkyun.

That's what keeps Hoseok at bay, after all these years. He now sits in the semi darkness of his flower shop, long returned from the wedding and idly gazing at the silhouettes of the flowers that surround him, perched on shelves, stands and vases.

Kihyun loves them.

He smiles ruefully, ignorant of the tears cascading down his face. It's normal flowers that need love to grow. His flowers /are/ love. A suffocating, insurmountable love that overwhelms him to the point that he doesn't know what to do with it until they come spurting out as flowers, like carbon compressed into diamond.

His flowers grow on pain.

Hoseok breathes in shakily, tears dripping faster, and does nothing to stop the racking coughs that eat at his lungs from the inside, familiar wet clumps inching up his throat. He doubles over, choking on his love.

The flowers don't want to stop, blooming black and purple and red. That's never bothered Hoseok. He's ready to die at their hand anytime. That's who Hoseok is, really. He's someone who settles for anything.

A flower shop, this illness, a tormented heart...

...Kihyun being happy.

The only thing he's changed, though, is this flower shop to a shrine.

[coolandspicy]

Lost Fantasia recap

This is crazy long so i’ll put it under the cut!

Pre concert they play most of VIXX’s mvs on the big screens which is fun. (Super Hero and Rock Ur Body are suspiciously absent lol)

About 5 minutes before concert start time there’s this super loud count down...but after a few seconds it fades into a song? It scared me both nights tho lol!

1st Vcr - its all in black and white, people walking around in animal masks, and we see the members one by one, frozen in place seemingly?

The big curtain falls and the members are lowered from the raised platform while intense music plays

They’re wearing these sparkly Silver zigzag jackets and matching pants, they get into formation to perform and the first song is Odd Sense! It starts awesome with really cool lighting (all the lightsticks turn red) but a few seconds in the backing vocals totally cut so its just vixx singing live and the music is a bit quieter, they keep going a little longer but then suddenly the whole song cuts and Hakyeon apologizes and asks if they can start again. The lights go off and the members exit the stage.

We ended up waiting about a full hour for the technical issues to be resolved and the atmosphere was super tense; starlights were so upset and they were kind of cursing at jellyfish? At one point they chanted for an apology 😅I was seriously worried that if the problem wasn’t resolved something terrible would happen...

But the concert finally resumed and the members appeared exactly were they had been when the music cut; they performed Odd Sense, followed by Escape (during the the “run away” part starlights were even louder than ravi) and then Silence!

1st Talk session: first the members apologized again for the issues and Hakyeon asks for starlights to give them strength/energy by still cheering loudly. They go on to talk about hair colors; Hongbin has purple hair (at fans request!) Leo has blond instead of silver bc he couldn’t take any more bleach, Ravi dyed his hair to be the same color as Hyuk? Hakyeon pokes Ravi insistently waiting for Ravi to talk about his gray highlights (Ravi ignores him for a while but then finally they acknowledge Hakyeon^^)

The next song is Fantasy, after which the members disappear but Ravi stays (he took his jacket off and has the white shirt and black harness on) and does a mini solo performance (I’m calling these solos ‘mini’ bc they’re really not quite as long as the usual solo performances we see?) Ravi performs with female back up dancers and then at the end walks back upstage where the other members are waiting ( and also wearing the White shirts, black pants + harnesses)

They perform Into the void, while seated/standing with these two props shaped like some kind of rocks. After the song the members walk down stage (Leo, Ravi and Hakyeon go to the middle; Hyuk and Hongbin go all the way to the left side of the stage; and Ken goes all the way to the right) they perform Six feet under — its so hype live, I really loved it!!

2nd talk: Hakyeon complements Ravi’s performance, and asks Ravi shoot hearts to each floor/section of the audience. Then they ask what song starlights would like to see next, because the audience is not really in sync (some people are asking Leo to shoot hearts also)  Leo shoots a powerful heart before they start Trigger. This choreo oh my god!! Everything from running gun hands down their long legs, the members circling round Hakyeon poised to shoot + and the killer moment: Ravi grips Ken from behind and shoots towards the audience 👀

Then they do Beautiful killer (with even more gunhands) and descend into the stage

2nd Vcr: solo scenes!

Ravi is in the rain holding an umbrella, but the then he drops it and just lets the water soak through his jacket, then he takes of the jacket and his shirt is all wet and see though;; he throws the jacket at the audience/camera and disappears!

Hyuk has an aesthetic scene in a phone booth & with the ground covered in rose petals?? He steps out and holds a blue potion and disappears when the rose petals fall around him

At an aesthetically neon bar Hakyeon surveys the scene, looking #opulent. He considers different wines but then he snaps his fingers and a bottle of champagne appears. He pours a glass, holds it close to smell the aroma, and tosses it in our face, causing him to disappear.

Leo appears draped in sheer tapestry, wearing a blindfold(?) which he takes off. Then he just, rolls around pressing into the mattress and stuff, and disappears (I can’t describe this okay, he was a hoe and that’s all you need to know)

Ken walks into a room with bathtub & candles, he looks seductively at the candles and drips some wax into the bath water. Then he blows out one of the candles and disappears

Hongbin is in the forest at night, surrounded by mist, he disappears in the mist

Finally the screen says simply “What exists is the scent of the soul”

--

Hongbin appears in red and does a mini solo with female back up dancers,

The members appear in formation for Scentist, wearing red fringed jackets with no undershirts — also Ravi’s has a cut out in the back 👀

During Scentist lots of mist stuff came out, idk if it was actually scented but it looked cool!

Members descend into stage again, but Leo reappeared to do his mini solo with two male back up dancers, they grind on the floor and other things;; priming us for the next performance Circle. There are mic stands and the 6 people standing behind them are clearly intimately familiar with sin

3rd Talk: mostly they talk about the performances they just did, especially Hongbin and Leo’s solo parts, move on to the next song

They perform My Valentine (who knew chairs were actually the sexiest prop possible) Love Me Do is next, and the members disappear at the end, but Hyuk reappears to do mini solo reprise of Love Me Do with male back up dancers

3rd Vcr: all the members are together at a cute bar; eating drinking, reacting to vixx old stages and music videos. They talk about their memories and Hyuk gets emotional 😭

Ken rises from the stage, sings a beautiful mini solo ballad. He’s wearing all white with a long, sparkly blue coat

The VCR screens fill with constellations, and six boxes appear in the back. The members appear one by one to sing their parts of the ballad medley (which includes On A Cold Night, 닮아, 12345, Bad Bye, and maybe more?) wearing the same outfits as Ken. When members appear their box lights up and the screen behind them has their birthstone (Same as from Shangri-la birthstone version!)

The members reappear but sitting on the stage and this time they sing Us Now, near the end of the song Starlights on the second floor do their prepared event -- they hold up sheets of paper that are either yellow or blue. Together it spells out 우린 영원을 믿어 (We believe you forever) I think its especially powerful not only because it was unexpected but because of the difficulty starting the concert today. After all, isn’t that always how it’s been for VIXX? So many struggles since the beginning but they’ve worked so hard to prove themselves to us; I know I would never leave them for anything.

4th Talk: they talk about how surprising the event was, and after getting over the surprise joke around about how Starlights were bickering whenever someone was unsure/about to put their paper down. Hakyeon talks about how funny he thinks Starlights are when they accidentally make mistakes, the confusion over the fanchant for My Valentine is especially funny to him. He asks Starlights to keep confidently making mistakes ^^

They take off the jackets and perform Chained up (This is a song that I have so much fun seeing live? Its never my favorite to listen with headphones, but on a huge stage oh my god!!) The follow up with Black out, and then the members walk off but Hakyeon stays. When the lights go back on he is surrounded by female back up dancers and has blood dripping down his chest. He does a really intense dance to scary music with lots of creepy smiles and scary expressions throughout.

The members reappear and they perform Hyde altogether (it’s made even better by the fact that Hakyeon still has blood on his clothes!)

5th Talk: Hakyeon exits (to change) and 5VIXX discuss the previous performances, and how tired they are. Leo especially looks like he’s so tired ^^; Hyuk says something about being able to keep going and he does the leg popping part from the Hyde choreo; the stage directors give him some flames to go with his leg pops which encourages him to do a bunch; the other members scold him saying he’ll burn the whole place down. Hakyeon comes back freshly changed and talks about his performance -- he asks if it was scary (we all answer 네!!!! as always but slightly unsure lol bc we’re not sure if we should say that our beloved leader was scary lol) He says that means he succeeded ^^ Then he tells us it’s time for the last stage and we all whine but Hakyeon shushes us.

They perform Desperate (how we’re all feeling at this point lol) Then they disappear and male dancers appear in the outfits from the Wind of Starlight performance. The members enter wearing silk cloaks decorated with red flowers to perform Shangri-la. 

After the members disappear, Starlights cheer 사랑해 (while the overhead logo pulsates like its charging lol) until VIXX returns to perform Milky Way. They enter in the second floor carrying balloons with the letters of their stage names. Then they do Navy And Shining Gold, after which Hakyeon says its time to go but Starlights insist (One more time!) and they start doing Heaven (which of course means doing it a bunch of times lol) the boys were super cute, running, jumping, pouring water on each other lol. Hakyeon sat down and took some selfies with fans phones

After many runs, they finally said it was time to go and for everyone to go back safely, and lots of other sweet things

The end credits was a behind the scenes video with Good Day as the bgm (which means every song on EaudeVixx was featured ^^)

I’ll forever be jealous of Starlights on the second floor but ultimately I feel so grateful to have had this opportunity and I thank VIXX and Starlights both for making Lost Fantasia the best concert possible!

[inkstainedfanfics]

I Still Love You

Request: I Still Exist is so amazing! I was wondering if you would consider doing a part 2? Actually, I BEG YOU PLEASE😂🙏🏻😍 I need that happy end🌞 PLUS other lovely comments

Word Count: 2,297

Pairing: Newt x Reader

Part 1   |   Part 3

Tag List: @caseoffics @red-roses-and-stories @dont-give-a-bother @myrtus-amongst-the-stars @fangirlingandcrying @ryeosomnia (idk why it won’t tag you but I hope it somehow works)

As though… as though he means to marry you.

You drop the journal back onto the table, shock, guilt, and excitement mixing into a terrible concoction that makes you want to both fall onto the ground crying and start jumping up and down squealing. Instead of either, you just lean against the table with one hand, shaking. Marriage. Newt wants to marry you.

Everything around you, every smell bubbling out of the boiling liquids nearby, every creature sound creeping out of the fields, the pain of every splinter of wood poking into your palm… it all fades, becoming nothing more than forgotten thoughts as a picture of Newt in a tux at the front of a church paints itself in your mind.

You see his fingers fidgeting with the corner of his black jacket, hair still messy despite his mother’s obvious attempts to corral it into something proper for a wedding, eyes gleaming. You can picture the way a warm smile replaces his nervous grin when you reach the aisle and meet his eyes. You imagine him taking your hand into his as his long fingers slide a thin ring onto your left hand while he promises to love you forever.

You sink to the ground, eyes wide, unable to breathe. The two of you never discussed marriage, not seriously, at least. It’s not that you don’t want to marry Newt. In fact, it’s the exact opposite: You’re realizing just how desperately you want to be with him. How desperately you want to wake up with one of his arms carelessly slung over you every morning. How desperately you want to be the one he whispers jokes to at parties the two of you are forced to attend for Theseus. How desperately you want to know that he’ll be there to help you up when you’re old and teach your children to walk and kiss you at random times in the day.

You want Newt, there’s no two ways about it. You want Newt, and you may have just lost him with your impatience.

You surge to your feet, rushing to the case’s entrance and climbing out. You roll to the side, onto the bedroom floor, and hop to your feet.

Tina yelps when you slam the door open and rush into the kitchen.

You don’t bother to say anything about it, getting straight to the most important question. “Where’s Newt?”

She furrows her brows but points to the door. “He went out a few hours ago. Is everything okay?”

“No.” You mutter, starting past her.

She grabs your arm, yanking you back. “Where are you going? And,” she wrinkles her nose, “don’t you think you should change first?”

Your hands tremble. “Did he say where he was going?”

Tina’s grip tightens on your arm as though she fears you’ll tear away before she learns what’s happening. “To the store. He said he had something to pick up. What’s going on?”

You close your eyes. “We got in a fight. It’s my fault. I need to apologize.”

Understanding dawns on Tina’s face, but she tugs you away from the door’s handle. “You should probably shower first.”

You blush, anger flaring at how rude she’s being.

“I think,” she murmurs, leaning around to look at your back and grimacing, “no, know, that you sat in something.”

Shit. You can’t go out in public like that, but you also have more important worries.

“But Newt…”

“Isn’t going to leave you.” Tina finishes for you.

You bite your lip, that terror of not having the wedding you’d pictured returning.

“I promise he won’t. If he does, I’ll track him down and drag him back to you.” Her eyes soften when you don’t laugh. “He loves you. He’s not going anywhere.”

She lets go of your arm as you drop your gaze to the ground, trying to slow your heartbeat.

“Are you sure?” You whisper, picking at your nails. It’s a nervous habit you can’t seem to break.

“I’m sure. Now go. Take your time and calm down.” Tina reaches for your hand, pulling it from the other before you can draw blood and squeezing it once. “Newt loves you. One fight isn’t going to ruin that.”

You nod, unsure but wanting to believe what she’s saying.

“I’ll get you an outfit, okay? Just go take a hot shower and relax.”

“All right.” You murmur, giving in to her requests. She’s right; you know you’re overreacting.

You strip down when the bathroom door clicks behind you. Kicking your clothes to the corner, you flip on the faucet and wait a few seconds. The water is hot when you step in, drawing an audible sigh from you when the water hits your bare back. You hadn’t realized how sore you were until now as the knots in your shoulders and along your spine seem to untangle themselves.

You scrub the field dirt from your arms with Tina’s lavender soap. The smell wafts up, and you take a deep breath of it, holding it until your body forces it out. Your breath mixes with the steam filling the room, creating a fog that surrounds you like a cloud.

All the while, you picture Newt. How he would look with a gold ring on his left hand, how he would hold a little baby girl to his chest, how he would shine when you called him your husband.

Your chest aches with a desire you’d never considered before. You can’t deny that Newt is the love of your life. You’d known from the moment you’d met him, cliché as it sounds. He’s the greatest man you’ve ever known, the only person that has earned every ounce of your respect. You pray that he feels the same.

You rinse the final bubbles of shampoo from your hair, stepping onto the white tile. A trail of puddles follow you to the door. At some point during your daydreaming, Tina placed a towel and a pile of your clothes in the room, just in front of the door. You scrub the water from your face first with the rough towel, taking a deep breath and blowing it out before drying off the rest of your body.

Lifting the clothes, you realize all Tina’s brought you is a dress. It’s your favorite dress, a black halter-top covered in tiny red flowers that fits you better than anything else you’ve ever tried on, but you frown. You don’t feel like running around New York in it. It’s all she’s brought, though, and the panic is returning, begging you to hurry, so you slide it on and squeeze the final droplets of water from your hair.

You yank the bathroom door open, shivering as the apartment’s cold air hits you. A pair of short heels, the ones you always wear with the strap that runs over the top of your foot and latches around your heel, rest in front of you. Tina thought of everything but your comfort. You roll your eyes but cinch them around each heel.

Grunting, you push yourself to your feet and shout for Tina. Your hands drift together again as you pick at your nails, running through a list of stores Newt is likely at.

“Tina!” You shout again, irritated. Where is she?

You round the corner to the kitchen.

Your heels squeak against the wood floor as you halt, jaw dropping at the sight in front of you. Tina isn’t there.

“Sorry to disappoint.” Newt says with a small grin.

You rush toward him, throwing your arms around him and nestling your face into the space between his neck and shoulder. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean any of it.”

Newt chuckles, wrapping his arms around you. “I know.”

“I love you so much.” You murmur, words muffled by his clean shirt.

“I love you too.” He mumbles before pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

You melt in the warmth of his embrace, drinking in everything about the moment: The way his arms tug you closer, as tight as he can, the way you fit against his body like it was made to your shape, the smell of his skin, the sound of his steady heartbeat pulsing through his chest. Everything.

Tears of happiness slide under your eyelids when he kisses the top of your head again. “Tina told me you thought I was leaving.”

You nod.

He laughs once. “You’re crazy.”

You freeze in his arms.

“I don’t think you understand how much I love you.”

You shake your head. “I do. I understand.”

“Are you sure?” He questions, quiet but sounding amused.

You nod again, kissing his neck. “I know you do, Newt.”

Newt untangles your arms from him and steps back, sliding a hand into his pocket. “I guess I didn’t need to buy this, then.”

Every knot the hot shower had unraveled returns. You stand ruler straight, hand rising to cover your mouth.

In Newt’s hand is a small velvet box, black and humped in the center.

You can’t rip your gaze from it.

Not, at least, until Newt covers it with his other hand, forcing you to meet his eyes. He nods once and candles float into the room, surrounding the two of you in a circle, hanging at various heights. The other lights flicker off, leaving you both lit by only the curling red flames. A gust of wind from the bedroom sends a wave of rose petals into the air. They whirl around in the air, dancing with the flames before landing around you and Newt.

The tears are already falling, earning a crooked grin from Newt.

“For the longest time, I thought my creatures were all I needed. Ever. What else could I ask for when I thought I’d found my only calling? Then I met you.” He swallows, eyes softening as he watches the tears roll down your cheeks. “You were a conundrum I couldn’t solve.”

You laugh once, a choked laugh, but he lights up at the sound.

“Merlin, I love that.”

You cough, wiping at your cheeks. “You love it when I cry?”

“I love your laugh as much as I love you.” He murmurs, reaching out and knocking your hand aside to wipe the tears away with his thumb. “Yesterday, I realized you were right. I was ignoring you in favor of work.” His beautiful eyes drop in shame, but when he looks back up, his gaze is so intense, so full of love, your breath catches in your throat. “I was so terrified I’d lose you, that you wouldn’t remember how much I loved you… I knew I had to do this today before I messed this up.”

“You could never—“

He shakes his head. “I could, but I won’t let myself. You deserve better than a guessing game of love.”

The tears streak down your cheeks as Newt drops onto one knee.

“You’re not supposed to cry.” He jokes, sending your heart into a thudding mess with his smile.

“I’m not—it’s not…” You start, but your tears cut off the words.

He bites his lip, the first sign of nerves he’s showed, and pops the ring box open. “Will you let me love you forever?”

You open your mouth, but nothing comes out. So you just cover your mouth, crying and laughing, and nod.

Newt’s grin breaks open on his face as he stands, wiggling the ring free from the velvet cushion. He takes your left hand as he stands, pulling it to his lips for a brief moment before he slides the shimmering ring onto your finger. As you stare at it, elation stealing every word you would say, his calloused hands cup your cheeks, thumbs wiping the rest of the tears from your eyes and tilting your head down so he can press his warm lips to your forehead.

Finally you choke out an I love you.

“I love you too. More than anything.” He murmurs, lifting your face so you’re eye-to-eye with him. Then his lips are against yours in the softest kiss.

A flash breaks through the dark of the room, and Newt smiles against your lips.

Queenie shouts something and Tina shushes her as she takes another picture.

Newt moves far enough back to lean his forehead against yours. His minty breath washes over your face.

“Decent enough proposal?”

You laugh. “Perfectly done, Scamander.”

“Don’t you mean fiancé?”

Your shy smile grows into a beaming grin, bridging the gap between your cheeks. “Fiancé.” The word rolls off your tongue, the second-best description you can think of for Newt.

You start to pull away, blushing when Queenie cheers again, but Newt doesn’t let you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Did I mention how beautiful you look tonight?”

You glance up at the drooping tendrils of your still soaking hair. “I’m not sure you need to tonight.”

“I’ll tell you every day until you wish you’d left me.”

“That could never happen.”

“You think so?” He bumps your nose with his own.

“Well…” You begin, but finish the sentence by wrapping your arms around his neck and tugging him in for another kiss.

The candles dance around you as you play with the idea of soon being Mrs. Scamander. You don’t pull away from Newt until you have to and when you do, you waltz away for only a moment, turning the radio on and rushing back to his arms.

He raises an eyebrow. “A dance?”

“We have to practice.” You pause, rolling the next words around in your mouth. “For our wedding.”

And, though you thought you couldn’t, that it would be impossible, you find yourself falling more in love with Newt as he takes your hand and twirls you.