#Is there something in my closet or is it just my life-sized cardboard cutout of my best friend?

[yourlocalcultist]

My caffeine addiction is getting to me. Am I ascending to godhood or am I dehydrated? Both? Both.

[jazminrhode1]

Love your writing! Can I request something for Matt based on the redecorating Matt’s room prank? Like reader helps with the prank? If not, no problem, love your account

Thanks For Watching Sturniolo Triplets x Reader One Shot

Summary: You help the boys prank Matt’s room for a video.

Notes: Swearing (minimal)

“Matt?” you call out as you walk down the hall toward his room. He wasn’t supposed to be there. You had come over to help Nick and Chris with a room prank. His room was empty, the coast was clear, except for their fucking washing machine.

You make your way upstairs to Nick’s room where he and Chris were waiting for you. “Finally,” Chris said when you walked in. “Y/n’s here,” Nick said to the camera, “it’s time to prank Matt’s room.”

“Most of the stuff’s in my car,” you said. You were way more excited than you let on. You had spent weeks getting customised items to completely re-do his bedroom. He was gone for another fake meeting with Laura but, you only had a small window to pull it off.

As you started opening the boxes that you had brought up to Matt’s room, Nick and Chris were acting like two kids at Christmas. They didn’t know just how much stuff you ended up getting and they didn’t know half of it would be custom.

The plan was to cover the room with pictures of Nick and Chris but, you went a little overboard. You had customised bedsheets, pillow cases and a blanket with their faces on it. You also got t-shirts printed with pictures that you found on their joint instagram. There was a huge canvas you hand made with a family picture from when they were little and a stack of photographs to stick on the wall if you found the time.

Nick made the bed, Chris cleared the closet and you started sticking pictures on the wall. 

“What’s wrapped in the sheet?” Chris asked when he came back from hiding Matt’s clothes in his room.

That was what you were most excited about and worried that you might not pull off. Chris got excited when he saw the thrill in your eyes. “Close your eyes,” you told them as you unwrapped the surprise.

When they opened their eyes they were face-to-face with two life sized cardboard cutouts of themselves. Nick screamed and Chris fell on the floor laughing. “You are fucking kidding,” he said.

“Matt is going to have a heart attack,” Nick said as he took a snap and sent it to Madi.

“I’m keeping mine,” Chris said, looking it up and down.

“Come on, Matt’s going to be back soon,” you said as you finished sticking the pictures on the walls.

Nick had used a few to replace the ones in Matt’s picture frames. The only one he left was the one that Matt kept of you and him on his desk.

“This room is something straight out of a nightmare,” you said as you looked around. “This is fucking great,” Chris exclaimed in excitement.

“Are we done?” Nick asked as he closed the last picture frame. “I think we are,” Chris said as he sat on the bed.

The room was a complete disaster. Everything had gone to plan.

Pictures of Nick and Chris’ faces were on the bedding, on the pillows, on the blanket, on the walls, on his t-shirts in his closet, and in his picture frames. There was not an inch of his room not covered in pictures of his brothers. The thought of this was a lot funnier than the final product.

You heard the front door close just as Nick picked up the camera. Chris got in position with his phone, he could barely contain his excitement. You could hear Matt calling out for Nick and Chris, you swore he started heading upstairs. After a few minutes, his shoes cast a shadow beneath the door and you saw the handle turn.

He jumped when he opened the door. You weren’t sure if it was because you were all in there or because of the monstrosity you had created.

“What the-?” Matt said in shock quickly followed by, “Hey y/n.” He stepped into the room and pulled you into a hug. As he scanned the room, the pictures on the wall, the life-size cut-outs of his brother, he kept his arm draped around your shoulders. 

“Did you help with this?” he asked you. “Sorry,” you replied.

“The pillows,” he noticed, pointing. “Oh my god you’re on the sheets,” he exclaimed.

“Do you love it?” Chris asked, mockingly.

“I can’t tell is this is awesome or a nightmare,” he replied as his eyes darted around the room.

Nick started laughing. “Look in your closet,” he instructed.

Matt’s face dropped, “No…” he said as he slowly slid the doors open.

When he saw all his clothes were gone and replaced with t-shirts that had his brother's faces on them, he said, “You guys are not real.”

“What do you think?” Nick asked, shoving a camera in Matt’s face. “Is this better than the Liam Neeson prank?” Chris asked.

Matt was still taking it all in when he said, “Fuck no! The other prank was funny. How am I supposed to sleep here? I’m gonna have nightmares.”

Chris burst out laughing. This was the exact reaction that he was hoping for. “Blame y/n,” he said, “she got all this stuff.”

You took a few steps back from Matt when he turned his head to you, “it was Nick’s idea” you said. Nick didn’t care. This was the content he was looking for.

“Is anyone going to help me take this shit down?” Matt asked as he pulled a picture off the wall. 

“Nope,” Chris replied as he picked up his cardboard cut-out. “They’ll fall off eventually,” Nick said. They both started walking toward the door but, Matt rushed over and held it shut with one arm.

“Let us out,” Chris demanded. Matt was not going to budge. “Let me out,” Chris threatened. “Or what?” Matt replied.

Chris took his cardboard cut out and started swatting at Matt. Matt started swinging back, grabbing Chris’s cardboard head and ripping it off his body.

With the pair of them fighting in the background, Nick said to the camera, “Thanks for watching, we’ll see you all next time,” before he ended the vlog.

It wasn't often that you got to do stuff like with the boys but, man was it fun.

[sharpteethreviews]

The Silent Companions by Laura Purcell

🌕🌕🌕🌕🌗 (4.5/5)

“When newly widowed Elsie is sent to see out her pregnancy at her late husband's crumbling country estate, The Bridge, what greets her is far from the life of wealth and privilege she was expecting . . .

When Elsie married handsome young heir Rupert Bainbridge, she believed she was destined for a life of luxury. But with her husband dead just weeks after their marriage, her new servants resentful, and the local villagers actively hostile, Elsie has only her husband's awkward cousin for company. Or so she thinks. Inside her new home lies a locked door, beyond which is a painted wooden figure —a silent companion —-that bears a striking resemblance to Elsie herself. The residents of The Bridge are terrified of the figure, but Elsie tries to shrug this off as simple superstition--that is, until she notices the figure's eyes following her.

A Victorian ghost story that evokes a most unsettling kind of fear, this is a tale that creeps its way through the consciousness in ways you least expect--much like the silent companions themselves.”

When I first checked out The Silent Companions from the library, it only had 3-stars on Goodreads. Looking at it now, I’m pleased to see that it’s gone up to nearly 4-stars- of course, because I’m biased but that’s kind of the point of this whole review blog. I will never claim non-bias, I think book reviews mean slightly more when there’s a bias in there. But that’s my opinion, this whole thing is my opinion. 

I’m a self-proclaimed lover of the psychological aspect of horror- what can I say? There’s something about watching someone being faced with horrors and seeing exactly how it is they cope, or fail to. Purcell has a particularly fascinating exploration into this with The Silent Companions. Gaslighting in horror is one of my particular favourite tropes within that psychological umbrella- to be experiencing fear and to be doubted. And then to combine it further with the isolation of grief! 

To quote the book itself, “She had an urge to confess everything. . . But to speak of such things made them a farce. You could not explain fear; you could only feel it, roaring through the silence and striking your heart still.”

Purcell’s voice in her writing captures perfectly the rolling tumble from a woman with her head held high to desperate defeat. And that’s something I can’t understate, Purcell really does excel in this book with her tones- from the blue tones of grief to the grey of misery. There is something so enrapturing about how she writes horror, that you act as voyeur in Elsie’s story. Her recounting of her doom. The atmosphere is created with a natural ease, there’s no theatrical backdrop here- any context needed for period terminology is given through natural story flow instead of a whole aside being needed, or an immersion breaking explanation. It’s difficult to successfully explain whole cultural items through context clues, but I do think that Purcell should be given the credit of having done it very well.

Additionally, something I think I have to mention; the sort of ‘creatures’ in this book, the things actually committing the horror bit, are fascinating. They’re not something that you’d normally think to be afraid of, creeped out by maybe, but overall harmless. Nobody is really eyeing their life-sized cardboard cutout of a random celebrity like it’s going to murder them. But Purcell makes them absolutely creepy with just the idea of it. They don’t even do much- it’s implied- and somehow it’s all the worse for it. There’s one passage in the book that I can’t quote here in full without spoilers, but I can quote even just this tiny fragment for a fraction of the effect. “Splinters. . . Something trying to get in.”

Haunted dolls step aside, the cardboard cutout of Danny Devito in the back of your bedroom closet is making his move.

Now, something I’m not usually a personal fan of in really any book is multiple timelines being told within, separated by chapters. There’s something about it that breaks immersion for me, something about being distracted by the cliffhanger of one storyline during the next installment of the other story- only for that one to pause just as you were getting back into it. Rinse and repeat. The Silent Companions unfortunately isn’t an exception to this. I feel the pacing between the three timelines taking place can be an awkward shift instead of the natural flow the story itself has. Maybe that natural flow is what makes it so awkward- it doesn’t feel like what’s happening should pause, so the disruption is harder to recover from. The stories being told are still great, and well written- I’m just not a huge fan of the breaks in flow. 

The end of the book is also a bit of a disappointment in that regard. I won’t spoil it here, I don’t want this to be a spoiler blog for some reason. But the end of the story here feels more stuttered and haphazard, some ideas feel unfinished or unfleshed out. Like it was something Purcell might’ve explored more but didn’t, for either a lack of time or space, or that she couldn’t make a longer delve into it work. I would’ve really liked for the ending to feel more like a solid landing for all the greatness that preceded it- but instead it sort of feels like an ‘Oh? Okay I guess.’

Overall, Purcell did an amazing job with The Silent Companions. It’s a book I would heavily recommend for anyone looking for a nice shorter length-without-being-too-short story. It’s involving, the pacing of the ‘main’ storyline is incredibly well done, the horror is a beautifully crafted sense of dread and confusion. Its ambiance is lovingly crafted with a healthy amount of period knowledge without becoming an essay. I don’t know, I just really enjoyed what Purcell did here and the next book on my to-read list is The House of Whispers by her, so I have decently high hopes. 

I can add a warning that there are some elements of this book that might affect certain audiences- if you’re squeamish about things happening to babies or pregnancy, or if you’re sensitive to topics of mental illness in a ‘Victorian-Asylum’ kind of way, then at the very least be advised and don’t say I didn’t warn you. Or do, really, I’m just a guy writing a review on the internet.

Cheers, friends!

[notkageyamasprincess]

embarrassing things about them | pt. iv

nekoma

genre/warnings: basically you should stop reading if you don’t want to see me slander your faves. crack!1! & like minimal fluff

kuroo tetsurō

genuinely believes he’s a really good singer but he’s really not

you went to a karaoke bar for your third date since you both loved singing

also karaoke bars are conveniently dim so 😳

he queued his song, took a deep breath, and opened his mouth. you were speechless

he sounded like ice jj fish if you were wondering

“kuroo... what the fuck”

“i know, i’m pretty good right?” “uhm no-”

kai nobuyuki

a guy who pays attention to his health

but a worrywart over small things

his search history is all stuff like “sharp pain in my right side what does this mean” “left foot numb in the middle of the night” “saw a tiny dark spot in corner of my vision am i going to be okay”

tummy hurts a bit too much for a bit too long

he just ends up scaring himself because he always ends up on those sketchy medical sites that tell him he has cancer or some kind of horrible illness

please reassure him 🥺

yaku morisuke

he was 14, felt fresh asf coming home bc! this boy! was single no more! nice!

but he didn’t know how to kiss and he really wanted to impress them

you bet he practiced kissing on his arm

alone in his room ofc. well, until his dad barged in

“hey son, could you-”

he whipped around and shamefully removed his lips from his forearm

his dad?? just?? quietly closed the door?

yamamoto taketora

he’s definitely a fanboy for those girl idol groups (like tōdō from jjk)

he somehow acquired a life sized cardboard cutout of his fave

he keeps her hidden away in his closet bc there’s no way he can leave her out in the open

it gave his mom a FRIGHT when she went in to clean his room omgomgomg

i feel like it warranted a family meeting 💀

kozume kenma

i hc that he probably gets his hair done at a salon (sksj omg can you imagine his cute lil butt sitting in the chair w the cape around him)

anyways his regular guy was on vacation and he desperately needed an appointment

so he decided to pick up a box of hair dye and tried to diy bad decision very bad

he didn’t really know what brand was good or what shade so he just randomly got the first blond colour from a really sus brand but he didn’t know that 😭

listen. he accidentally dyed his hair NEON YELLOW.

highlighter lookin’ ass

he didn’t know wtf to do next and school was hell the next day bc no hats allowed

fukunaga shōhei

so you know how he says little jokes to himself and laughs??

his classmates were like “oi fukunaga, how come you’re always laughing, what’s so funny?”

and shō was real excited to tell his jokes

NO ONE LAUGHED. NOT ONE SOUL. IT WAS AWKWARD. 😐

the only one rolling on the ground in tears was himself

(this is kinda sad i need to compensate bc i lob him)

but years down the line, you ended up sharing his weird humour so he knew you were the one <3

inuoka sō

he’s always hyper and cheerful and loves to help people out!!

so when he was walking in the streets and saw a girl with her hands full drop something, he had to go in there!

he went in there. quite literally. her skirt i mean.

when he crouched down to pick up what she dropped, his head caught onto the hem of her skirt and when he lifted his head back up......

it was an honest mistake!! baby boy would never!! really tragic how it happened really omg please he’s not a pervert please don’t call the cops he’s already so embarrassed

haiba lev

so we all know he’s really tall

and if you’ve ever been to japan, well, it’s not the friendliest place for lanky bean poles like him

especially doorways of trains/subways. doorways in general

bumps his head in front of people so much

sometimes really hard too how does he not get concussions???

sometimes gets a big bump on his forehead before he even arrives at school

is that why he’s such a dumb dumb?

part i | part ii | part iii | part iv

taglist: @sparkykatsuki

[kaidans-alenko]

so @maskydoolovesmasseffect made a post about a Kaidan doll and mentioned the possibility of renegade shep using it as a voodoo doll and I play as a renegade shep so naturally I opened my mouth in the tags and as a result they encouraged me to write this and I aim to please lol so here ya go, I hope you like it I know I enjoyed writing it.

You could easily call this a crack fic, probably wouldn’t be far off also Shepard and Kaidan are married because I said so <3

“Did you see spectre Alenko on the news last night?” Her husband’s name coming out of the mouth of another woman piqued her curiosity almost immediately. She wasn’t going to deny her jealous streak and even if it was just his last name it was enough to get her to walk inside to see what all the fuss was about and why some random woman was saying his name to begin with.

“I did! He’s so dreamy.” Her friend swooned as she gazed up at the promotional poster they had hung up.

“Isn’t he? I wonder if he’s single.” That set Lily off and she charged over, fully prepared to tear into them but the sight in front of her stopped her in her tracks.

"What the hell…?" A display full of new 'spectre Alenko' merchandise was displayed right next to the very similar display her and Aiden shared. It was absurd, there had to be better ways to raise money than to sell souvenirs with her husband's face on them right? 

Lily pushed past them coming face to face with dolls, posters and even a goddamn cardboard cut out. Now, she was well aware of just how gorgeous her husband was and couldn't blame the Alliance for exploiting it but the thought of random men or women walking home with and doing who knows what to a doll of him made her blood boil. She glanced at her own display, notably even more creeped out that most of the plush dolls of her were also almost gone.

Lily pulled the last one off the shelf and plopped it down right next to one of the many Kaidan dolls "No, no he isn't single." She said loud enough for the women behind her to hear as she snatched up one of everything, glaring at them before grabbing the damned cardboard cut out and dragging it along with her. 

She was most definitely shoving all this in Aiden's swanky new apartment, there was no way it would fit in the Normandy and if Kaidan saw it he'd more than likely make her return everything. 

After setting up her own personal shrine in one of the spare closets, complete with a flameless candle, seeing as Aiden didn't trust her with fire. She took a step back, admiring her handy work, Kaidan and her brother would both find it incredibly creepy but at the end of the day the credits all went to the war effort so if anything she had done a public service. 

Lily picked up the admittedly incredibly cute doll and hugged it, it in no way compared to a hug from the man himself but it would do. She looked down at it "Hmmmm…" setting the doll back down she climbed up on the step stool Aiden kept around for her a dug in her emergency sewing kit looking for a pin or a needle, either would do she just needed something sharp and a knife or scissors would do more damage than she needs, they also fell on Aiden's list of 'things Lily isn't allowed to play with' but that's besides the point. It was a wonder he let her have knitting needles. 

Hopping off the stool she picked the doll back up and examined it "Now...if it is a voodoo doll poking it's cute little plush head would be far too cruel." Lily looked between the pin and the doll's hand, with a shrug she gave it a quick prick not wanting to jab it in all the way if it actually did cause real damage to him. She doubted it though.

-------------

Out of nowhere Kaidan felt a sharp pain in his hand resulting in the coffee mug he was holding to shatter onto the ground, the hot cinnamon flavored liquid spilling onto the cold metal floor of the Normandy. Sighing, he bent down to clean it up. "I thought my sister was the clumsy one between you two." Aiden said as he grabbed some paper towels to sop up the coffee while Kaidan picked up the shattered bits of the mug, his favorite mug. 

"Yeah I don't know what happened, all of a sudden I had this weird pain in my hand."

"Pain?"

Kaidan nodded "Like someone stabbed me, it's gone now though." He said as he stood up to toss the broken ceramic pieces into the garbage.

"Good but do you know what caused it?"

"No idea."  Kaidan chuckled "maybe Lily put a curse on me or something."

Aiden laughed "If she's bored enough I wouldn't put it past her to learn witchcraft." They both shuddered at the thought "But let's not give her ideas."

---------

“Lily! Are you in here?” Aiden called as he walked in, she had some errands to run which was fine, he hadn’t really needed her for today’s mission anyway but he had expected her to be on the ship when he returned but she was nowhere in sight. 

“Uh yeah! In here!” she called back as she frantically tried to hide everything, she didn’t think he’d be mad but he would definitely find her crazier than he already did. 

“You had me worried, you’ve been gone all day so I-what are you doing?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Wha-what ever are you talking about Ai?” Lily tried to appear nonchalant as her back was pressed tight against the closet door, guarding it best she could.

He narrowed his eyes at her “You’re hiding something.” 

Lily scoffed “What? Aiden, I'm appalled, I've never hidden anything from you ever in my entire life.”

“Fine, then move.”

Lily blinked in surprise “Huh?” 

“I forgot my hoodie and it’s cold, move.”

“No.”

“No?” 

“I’ll grab it for you.” She said, turning around to open it but Aiden lifted her up by her underarms, placing her off to the side like she was a small child and with her height she might as well have been.

“Lil, what the actual hell is this?” His eyes didn’t know where to look. He knew she was a tad bit obsessed with him but they were married so that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, he just never expected her to make a shrine. 

“Aiden listen I-”

“Where did you even get this stuff?” He asked, staring at the life size cutout, wondering how she was even able to get it home when it was a whole foot taller than her. 

“One of the gift shops was selling it for the war effort.”

“So you bought out the whole store?!”

“No!” she looked down awkwardly “I only bought one of everything…”

“And set up a shrine in my apartment for a man you’re already married to?”

 “We’re twins Aiden, we share everything so it’s not just your apartment.” 

“Not true also that’s not my point.” 

“Are you gonna tell Kaidan?” She looked up at him with puppy eyes, Aiden’s one weakness.

Aiden stared at her, he knew the right thing to do was dismantle it and tell Kaidan but his sister was too cute and he found himself unwilling to punish her like that. “No…keep your creepy shrine.” he said with a sigh.

“Yay!” she hugged him “you’re the best brother ever.” 

“No, I'm an enabler, I enable you.” He said despite the small blush that krept on his cheeks, glancing back at the shrine, maybe he and Kaidan weren’t far off about the witchcraft thing.

-----------

Lily lounged on the bed in the captain's quarters, humming to herself as she poked various parts of the doll, Kaidan walking in as she stuck the pin in his back “Ow, shit!” he exclaimed, arching his back slightly and instinctively placing a hand on the area.

Lily froze, looking at the doll then back at him “What’s wrong?” 

Kaidan shook his head “I don’t know, I just suddenly had this sharp pain in my back.”

“O-oh, I’m sorry babe, do you want a massage?” 

“I probably just pinched a nerve or something,” he said as he walked over to her “I felt the same pain in my hand earlier too but it went away almost instantly.” 

“How weird.” she played along as she hastily shoved the doll behind a pillow.

“I know, I should probably go see Chakwas later.” He sat down next to her against the very same pillow she shoved the doll under and she broke out in a cold sweat “is there something under the pillow? It feels like it’s propped up.”

Lily quickly snatched the mako figuring that sat above the bed “The mako is missing it probably just fell.”

“No...this feels softer.” He pushed the pillow to the side and found the plush doll of him laying face down with a pin in its back. Lily closed her eyes, lips pressed together, her head hung low “Hey Lil?”

“Yeah what’s up babe?” she asked, her voice slightly high pitched.

“What am I looking at right now?”

“A doll of you…”

Kaidan nodded “Uh huh, follow up question.” he took the pin out “why was this stuck in its back?”

“I was pretending it was a voodoo doll…”

“Excuse me?” 

“I didn’t think it actually was! I was just poking it for fun.” She said defensively, though the more she thought about it the more she realized how demented it probably seemed. 

“Right, well I’m getting rid of this before you accidentally cripple me.” Kaidan set the pin on the bed stand, grabbing the doll by it’s small plush arm and walking over to the door with it.

Lily hopped up, discarding the mako toy as she hurried after him, wrapping her arms around his waist to stop him, for as small as she was she had some incredible strength “I’m sorry, I won’t do it anymore but don’t throw him away he didn’t do anything wrong!” 

“Lily, it's still creepy voodoo or not.” 

“No he’s not he’s adorable!” 

“I broke my favorite mug because of this thing!”” He exclaimed.

“That wasn’t his fault!” She looked up at him, eyes glistening with tears “please Kaidan…”

The rational part of his brain knew she was without a doubt faking but if she wasn’t and really was this attached to a doll she only had for barely a day he’d look like a pretty heartless husband for tossing it.

“Fine...take it.” Lily detached herself from him immediately, a huge grin on her face as she took the doll back. 

“I promise no more voodoo!” She said as she held it protectively against her chest. 

“Where did you even get that anyway?”

“One of the souvenir shops had a whole display. I wanted to buy them all but had no place to put them.” 

“A display?”

“Yeah, apparently you’re a spectre and a marketing tool.” 

“That’s….great.” He was definitely gonna have to talk to Hackett about that.

“Now I can add you to my plush collection, maybe i’ll knit him a pink sweater so he fits in.” 

“Sounds wonderful honey.” He said, running a hand down his face.

She looked at him “Do you want one too?”

“I’m good, thanks.” He didn’t have a headache when he walked into the cabin but he certainly did now, Lily had a way of doing that to a person.

[v-hope]

He finds out you bias a member from another group

Pairings: OT7 x Reader

Genre: Fluff... idk about crack and suggestive but... maybe like sprinkles of it in some?

Request by @incrediblybiased: “BTS reaction to finding out your bias from another group?”

A/N: Hello it me, still with a lil bit of writers block but I hope this is worth reading. Enjoy? Hopefully? 💞

Kim Seokjin

“Okay, who is this?” Seokjin asked out of nowhere, slumping down by your side on the couch as he held his phone up for you to look at.

At the sight of the picture his mobile was displaying, you could do nothing but roll your eyes. A picture of no other than Bang Chan being the one he had chosen to show you.

“Jin” you whined, “ever since I told you he’s my bias you’ve been–”

“Who is this?” he repeated, bluntly cutting off your words.

Although rolling your eyes again, a smirk curved up your lips this time. “A very beautiful man”.

Completely unfazed at such answer he had been expecting, he put the phone down and later pressed his wrists together, placing his opened hands bellow his face. “And who is this?”

“An absolute idiot who just so happens to own my heart”.

“Yah!” he scolded you, tilting his body back out of impression. “So he’s beautiful and I’m an idiot?”

“I literally said my heart is y–”

“No, no” he shook his head, grabbing his phone and unlocking it right then. “Let’s go again” he stated, showing you Chan’s picture again. “Who is this?”

“A very beautiful man” you kept your previous answer.

“And who is this?” he once again motioned to himself.

A breathy laugh escaped your lips as you replied: “The most handsome moron there is”.

That sounded more like it.

Nevertheless, he decided to push it just a little more: “Who you love dearly?”

You nodded your head in amusement. “Who I, for some reason, love dearly”.

Ha. Take that, Bang Chan.

Min Yoongi

“You know, when you told me Baekhyun was your bias, I didn’t expect… this…” Yoongi let out as his eyes remained fixed on the other end of your room.

Because one thing was for you to warn him Baekhyun had been your bias ever since forever before visiting your parents’ house back in your hometown, and a very different one was for you to have a life size cutout of him in there.

A cutout placed right next to your closet, which couldn’t help but catch your boyfriend’s eye first thing as he entered your old bedroom for the first time.

“I was a teenager!” you tried to defend yourself as you could already feel the burning heat reach your cheeks. “And anyway, it was way before I met you”.

Not really paying attention to your words and with puffed cheeks, Yoongi stared at the cardboard for a couple of seconds, seeming almost lost in his own mind before he let out the air he had been holding and took a few long steps towards it.

“What are you doing?” you questioned with a raised eyebrow after watching him lift your precious possession up and open your closet’s door.

“He needs to leave” he simply stated, messily shoving it inside before he closed the door. “I can’t have his cold eyes on us as we share a room... especially since we know each other”.

Well, that did sound pretty reasonable.

However, when you were back home and a life size cutout of no other than your own boyfriend arrived on the mail, you knew Yoongi was neither forgetting about said incident nor ever letting you live it down.

But hey, at least now you would have a cardboard boyfriend to replace the real one whenever he was on tour.

Jung Hoseok

“Ten?” he wondered with furrowed eyebrows and pouty lips, not having expected that answer at all after having asked you if he was your bias. “As in, Ten from NCT, Ten?”

“Is there any other?” you couldn’t help but show your amusement.

“But–” as impossible as it may had seemed, his eyebrows furrowed even more.

“But?” you wondered, trying to give him the push you knew he needed after his mouth had been shut close.

Just like that, he asked: “Why would you bias him when you have me?”

“Huh?”

Hoseok sighed, resting his elbows on the mattress to get a better look at you. “I mean, like… he’s a dancer, his nose is pointy… his smile is like...” he shrugged, allowing you to understand where he was coming from. “I have those things, too”.

“Oh, sue me for having a type, won’t you?”

Both your words and the pretty visible roll of eyes you had given him had him rolling his own in a second, letting his body slump down on his bed.

“Okay, so you have a type, great” he huffed, causing a small laugh to escape your throat as you crawled over to him and rested your chest on his. “But I’m like… the supreme out of all the people who are your type, right?”

“Jung Hoseok” you tried to call his attention, not being able to hide the huge smile displaying on your lips.

“Yeah?”

“You are the definition of my type”.

Well then. As long as no one removed him from that spot in your life, he guessed he could deal with someone else being your bias.

Kim Namjoon

“Penny for your thoughts?” he wondered, taking a seat beside you as he tried to peek at what you had been staring at for the past minutes on your phone.

“Jae is so amazing” you said in a dreamy way, not giving your words much thought.

Namjoon, on the other hand, did have a lot to think about your words.

“Jae?” he questioned, tilting his head back for a second there before he was back at it again trying to look at your phone.

“Yes, Jae” you confirmed, shifting on the couch to make more room for your boyfriend; allowing him to rest his chin on your shoulder and turning the screen towards him. “Day6? Ring a bell?”

“Oh!” his mouth formed a perfect ‘o’. “Yeah, I know him. So what, you like him?”

“Mhm…” you hummed, not taking your eyes away from your mobile. “I’ve always had a thing for guitarists and he’s just…” not knowing how to express yourself, you let out a sigh instead, letting your head fall on Joon’s.

“What about rappers, though?” he wondered, taking his chin away from your shoulder so he could look you in the eye. “Don’t you have a thing for us, too?”

“Oh, I do” you affirmed with a determined nod of your head. “But guitarists… ugh, I love them. Besides, you know what they say about their fingers and their magic”.

Okay, you were full on taunting him now. But two could play this game, and Namjoon was not getting behind with the teasing. So, with a smirk making its way on his lips, he leaned in until his forehead was resting on yours.

“Okay, but have you ever heard of....” his hand ever so tenderly travelling down your body sent shivers down your spine, “rappers and their tongues?”

Not like you had not experienced that firsthand already… but being reminded of it wouldn’t hurt.

Park Jimin

“Wait, so you’re telling me I’m not your bias?”

The dumbfounded look in his eyes and the way his lower lip was prominently sticking out should’ve been reason enough for you to comfort him. However, you found yourself being tempted enough to tease him just a little bit more instead.

“Nope” you made sure to finish that word with a loud ‘pop’. “You’re my boyfriend”.

“Isn’t that…” he stopped for a second to recollect his thoughts. “Aren’t those two things like, connected? Am I not supposed to be your bias if you’re dating me?”

It was fair to say, he was not talking this brand new information pretty well.

“Mm…” you thought about it for a moment. “I don’t know? Either way it’s not that deep, baby” a light laugh escaped your lips, lovingly cupping his face in your hands.

You were right, he thought – that being the reason he softly nodded his head, contently receiving the chaste kiss you had just pressed down on his lips.

“Just for the record” he spoke up, being his turn to cup your cheeks to make sure you’d pay attention to his next words: “If you ever met him–”

“I’d make sure to let him and everyone else know I am happily taken by the love of my life” you reassured him, knowing what he would ask before he could even finish his sentence.

Jimin smiled brightly. “And that’s me, right?”

“The one and only”.

And that was all that really mattered to him. After all, being the love of your life did beat being your bias big time, didn’t it?

Kim Taehyung

Taehyung didn’t have a jealous bone in his body.

Or so he liked to think, because his heart speeding up and the overall unpleasant feeling in his chest as he looked at you and Kim Jungwoo comfortably talking a few meters away from him at the after party, said otherwise.

It wasn’t the fact that he had found out the night before that the NCT member was your bias, or the fact that you had let him know how bad you wanted to talk to him that night. No, that wasn’t it, for he trusted you with his life.

No, it was the heart eyes said guy was giving you what was upsetting him so much.

So, neither with a plan nor caring about looking like an idiot, he excused himself from Jimin and sprinted towards where you were, easing himself into your conversation by placing his arm around your shoulder.

“Hey” he greeted Jungwoo with a small yet polite nod before his eyes focused on you. “Baby, we’re leaving”.

“So soon?” you asked – disappointment written all over your face.

Taehyung simply nodded, later looking to the guy in front of you: “Sorry to take my girlfriend away just like that, but I need her to go home with me now”.

Your eyebrows knitted together. “Something happened?”

“Oh, no. No, just…” he bit down on his lower lip while he thought of his next words carefully, “there’s something I need your help with… downstairs”.

Now, if he hadn’t been so blunt about it, you might have not choked on air, and maybe then Jungwoo wouldn’t have had a clue about what Tae had meant. But now he sure did.

Saying your awkward goodbyes to a somewhat taken aback Jungwoo, you followed your boyfriend to the exit.

“I didn’t know jealous Taehyung could be so inappropriate”.

“Not jealous” he argued.

“Oh, come on. You even suggested we were going back home to have sex just for him to know we’re together”.

This time, a proud, playful smirk was soon to form on his lips as he leaned closer to your ear. “You’re right, I might be jealous, but I didn’t lie about what we’re doing when we get home”.

He did need some physical reassurement after all.

Jeon Jeongguk

“Guk-ah, please, please, please let’s go talk to him” you begged as you wrapped your arms around his bicep and pulled him closer to you.

Jeongguk rolled his eyes, glancing over the guy you had recognized a few seconds ago, before he focused them back on you. “I’m not sure I want you to meet the guy you just called your bias…” he sheepishly admitted.

A pout was quick to form on your lips. “Come on” you gently caressed his arm. “How come you’ve talked to IU before and I’ve said nothing about it?”

“It’s different” he stated immediately, earning a questioning raise of eyebrow from you that made him continue: “You know I would never actually go for her… and besides, she’s older, she wouldn’t look at me that way either”.

“Oh, so you’re saying I would leave you for Jaehyun?” the cold tone in your voice had him shaking his head no in a heartbeat.

“No! But–” he shrugged, looking at the guy on the other side of the venue, “nothing would stop him from going for you”.

This time, a defeated sigh escaped your lips. Although you didn’t think that was completely true, you could see his point, which is why you unwrapped one of your arms from around his and raised your hand to cup his cheek to make him look at you.

“Not like he actually would, but… have a little faith in me?” you smiled softly, loving the way his doe eyes were staring at you right then. “I would never leave you for anyone else, no matter who they are”.

Jeongguk smiled sweetly, puckering his lips for you to lean in and close the space between your mouths; which you didn’t hesitate to do with a smile already curving up your lips – one that only grew wider the moment he managed to steal another brief peck from you.

“You think he saw that?” he mumbled when your lips were no longer attached but faintly brushing over each other.

You scoffed at his question. “Why don’t we go find out?”

Entirely losing your touch on him and starting to walk over Jaehyun to say ‘hi’, you couldn’t help but tilt your head back and let out a throaty laugh as you felt a whiny Jeongguk follow hot on your heels to try and stop you from it.

Well, at least he tried.

[lifeisntafantasy]

Do you have any Sanders Sides headcanons?

yessss. (im just copying and pasting most of these from my wattpad thing i posted)

Roman started to learn Spanish because he used to watch Dora the Explorer. You cannot change my mind. (Yes i thought of this because Dora was on TV. Don't judge me.)

Virgil secretly listens to musicals but doesn't tell anyone because Roman will try to make him sing with him.

Patton and Virgil have weekly gossip sessions and they gather in one of their rooms (usually Patton's) with snacks, movies, blankets, drinks, and they gossip.

Ever since Logan found out that Roman could speak Spanish he learned to speak Spanish, French, Italian, Dutch, and Chinese to be better than Roman.

Virgil is smol boyo (like 5'3 or something) and can't reach certain things (like a peanut butter jar on the top shelf of a cabinet.) Roman is taller than him (like 5'9) and he teases Virgil whenever he can (by grabbing the remote or something and holding it over his head.) But that has gotten him kicked multiple times.

Remus is a smart boi™, he and knows all about space. He also knows about physics because he needs to know the smart stuff when he slingshots stuff at the other sides.

Deceit has a lisp but he plays it off as a hiss to keep up his intimidating snake image.

Patton can literally only make cookies. If he tries to make something else, he'll somehow set the whole kitchen on fire. 

Virgil has heterochromia (two different colored eyes) and Unsympathetic!Patton makes his constantly wear contacts because his different colored eyes makes him a "freak".

Roman will not let anyone see what's in his closet. (Remus thinks he has some kinky shit, but it's just because Roman has a a life size, cardboard cutout of Tom Holland.)

Virgil has a necklace with silicone charm things on it so he can chew them without breaking them, and Virgil doesn't let anyone know about this because he doesn't want them judging or teasing him.

Logan knows how to cook food really well, but can't bake for shit. Patton is the opposite. Remus isn't allowed in the kitchen after what happened last time. Roman just doesn't like to cook or bake. Deceit and Virgil used to bake and cook together, but since Virgil left the dark sides both of them stopped.

That's all I have rn.

[mere-mortifer-writing]

Close Quarters

Pairing: Lucifer/Reader; Lucifer/OFC

Rating: Explicit. This is pure filth lmao

Summary: You're stuck in a closet with Lucifer. That's it, that's the plot. Enjoy! x x x  The fact is, the closet really is tiny and with her standing up they would be nose-to-nose if it weren’t for the height difference. He's more than a head taller than her, and this close she would need to barely move to kiss the column of his neck. Her eyes follow the line of tendons under his skin from his jawline, down to where his shirt obstructs the view.

Unable to resist the pull of his gaze, she raises her eyes to meet his. “Hi”, she says again, as softly as the atmosphere requires. Her stomach is already tied up in knots. Lucifer's smile softens, and he angles his head so that their lips are even closer together. “Hello, there."

Tags: Dirty talk; Slow sex; Shy!Reader; Attempt at humour; Semi-public sex 

You can also read it on Ao3

She knew it was a bad idea even before leaving her house.

Honestly, a blind date? Her? Recipe for disaster, obviously. She still doesn't know what compelled her to accept to go to dinner with some random guy that her best friend works with - actually, she knew why: it was to stop her cries of “you seriously need to get laid!”

And sitting at a table of the restaurant, still blissfully alone after an hour and a half, she realises that the guy had stood her up. Which would be very sad, possibly even a hard blow to her self-confidence, if only cancelling plans didn't always give a rush of endorphins: the anxiety that had clawed her all week disappears; her shoulders relax, the high heels she's wearing don't hurt anymore.

She doesn't even give a fuck that she's sitting alone at a restaurant, that's how good the prospect of good food and her favourite book (she had it in her purse, just in case) without a stranger sitting with her feels.

Also, there's this man, a few tables from hers, that with some luck she'll be able to stare at without being seen.

He's sitting with a dark haired woman, but he's so magnetic she barely notices her presence. He's got dark hair, perfectly styled, and stubbles that shadow his strong jawline. She risks another glance at him a minute later, hoping against hope that he doesn't notices, and catches a view of his profile while he talks with the sommelier. He's smiling, a bit lasciviously, looking at the other man from underneath his lashes.

Is he-is he flirting with him? Chances are he is, considering how the sommelier is blushing - and, really, it makes sense. If she was that hot she would flirt with anything and anyone just to see them all flustered.

He looks like a Hollywood actor.

No, better, he looks like Hollywood actors look in your head when it's the middle of the night and you're thinking of that super hot scene that was your sexual awakening as a teen.

In other words: too good to be true. She is probably just making him up, actually.

Fuck, her friend is right - she does need to get laid.

In the meantime, she will not deny herself the small pleasure of imagining, in graphic details, all the ways she could ruin the expensive suit he's wearing.

Which is obviously when a gunshot resonates in the room, scaring the shit out of every client.

Because this is her life: she can't think “hey, I'd like to have sex with than man” without God going like think again, bitch and sending someone to shoot the place!

She thinks this while scrambling away from her table, fight or flight instinct kicking in before she has time to think. “Flight” wins, hands down, because you don't bring uncomfortable heels and lack of military training to a gunfight.

“Lucifer Morningstar!” someone screams behind her back when the shooting stops. “You're a dead man!”

The oh-so-hot man from before is still comfortably lounging on his chair, idly drinking from his wine glass. “Am I now? That's news to me.”

The woman who was dining with him is standing protectively close to him, wearing the smile of a shark ready to kill some innocent baby seals.

Get the fuck out of here, a rational voice in her head says.

“Door. Too far.” she mumbles to herself, eyeing the scene and the feet of panicked clients and staff exiting the restaurant. She is hiding behind some decorative plants, on her hands and knees.

Great sentence structure. Hide, then, go, come on!

And so she crawls away, praying not to be seen, towards the staff-only part of the restaurant.

***

She ends up in some sort of service closet inside the kitchen, comforting both in size and the silence that closing the door shut brings.

There's a distinctive smell of soap in the air, and the only feasible place to sit are some packages of toilet paper, but you know what that tiny supply closet doesn't have?

Menacing figures dressed in black shooting everywhere.

It feels like a home, already.

She stays there for a while, listening desperately for the distant screams and noises of things breaking to stop - or at least for police sirens to come closer.

And for a while nothing changes, but then the door to the kitchen bangs open and for a second she thinks this is it, this is how I die.

Killed in a dusty closet that smells like a hospital.

“Stay here!” a woman's voice intimidates.

“But, Maze-” A man this time, British, the tone of a child that got denied his favourite candy.

“No but's, I'm not gonna let you get killed!”

There's the sound of two pair of feet moving - oh no, oh no, please no - closer to her hideout and she has literally nowhere to hide, so she slaps a hand on her mouth and tries to do her best impression of a cardboard cutout. She manages to shut off the light, though - not that it will do much.

The door of the closet wrenches open, and she doesn't have time to think before a tall figure takes up the little space left, almost falling over her.

The door closes again, lock clicking into place with violence. “And you stay the fuck in there, Lucifer, am I clear?” the woman says, and then nothing more.

Lucifer?, she thinks. The man I was imagining in compromising positions few minutes ago?

And then, after fixing her priorities: the one they were shooting at?

“Like a lock can stop me…” Lucifer (what kind of parents-) is muttering to himself, but his words trail off. His shoulders tense, his head snaps to the side, but she can barely see all this in the low light that filters from underneath the door. “Oh, but I have company. Hello, there.”

He finds and flicks on the light switch a second later, turns to see her still sitting on - on toilet paper, of all things.

Fuck her life, honestly.

“Um, hi.” She gives him a little wave. The effort not to stare at his crotch, which is at less than 20 centimetres from her face, is using up all of her social skills - she doesn't nervously giggle only by the grace of God.

His eyes light up, and a boyish smile replace the frown on his face. “You're that cute girl from before! What a pleasant surprise”, he purrs, biting his bottom lip as he does a once-over of what he can see of her figure. “And you're at such an interesting angle, too.”

He called you cute, the high-schooler in her notices.

He's thinking of you sucking his dick!, screams what's probably still the high-schooler in her, but this time with more hormones involved.

Ah, the duality of (wo)man.

“I guess that's me, yeah”, she manages to say. “And you're...Lucifer?”

“That's right, Lucifer Morningstar. Mind coming up here?” He offers her a hand, that she gratefully takes, and he helps her back on her feet.

There's a strength behind the gesture, hiding under the smooth material of his suit, that makes her head spin for a second.

That, and the fact that the closet really is tiny and with her standing up they would be nose-to-nose if it weren’t for the height difference. He's more than a head taller than her, and this close she would need to barely move to kiss the column of his neck. Her eyes follow the line of tendons under his skin from his jawline, down to where his shirt obstructs the view.

Unable to resist the pull of his gaze, she raises her eyes to meet his.

“Hi”, she says again, as softly as the atmosphere requires. Her stomach is already tied up in knots.

Lucifer's smile softens, and he angles his head so that their lips are even closer together. “Hello. Can I know your name?”

She tells him.

He says it back, pouring his British accent all over it, tasting its sound on his lips. “Is that right?”

She nods, because she doesn't trust herself to talk, trying to calm herself down. Impossible not to think how he would say it in another context - or, not even in another context, just 10 minutes from now, 5 minutes if she has it her way…

She must be blushing furiously by now, but maybe he notices how nervous she is because he mercifully doesn't comment on it.

Nervous? Weird way of spelling 'turned on’.

“You're alright, yeah? I'm sorry for all this - those men are here for me. Worry not, my friend is taking care of them.”

Right on cue, some muffled screams filter through the door.

“I figured. But I'm fine, yeah”, she reassures him. She doesn't know where to put her hands, where the fuck does she put her - “Uhm, does this happen often to you? Getting shot at, I mean.”

“People like to try, sometimes, yes. It has never been a problem until recently”, he adds in a more irritated tone.

This guy is probably dangerous, she thinks, he's like a mafia boss or something.

...Do I really wanna fuck a mafia boss?

“I think we'll be stuck here for a while. Say, how should we spend this time together?” he says, his big brown eyes shamelessly set on her lips.

Yes, yes she does, apparently, so much so that the desire gets stuck in her throat, renders her speechless for a moment before sliding down, hot and heavy, to her stomach and then even lower.

“How should we spend this time”?

What a stupid fucking question.

He knows what he's doing, the bastard. This beautiful, infuriating man who looks so perfect she's starting to think he's just an hallucination. Eyes too dark, voice too smooth. She's never been one to lust after a man in a suit, always too uncomfortable around them and their aura of confidence to find them attractive...but Lucifer's legs are long in his tailored Prada trousers and she is - she is, at the end of the day, just human. What is the saying? Flesh is weak?

Yeah, she does feel pretty weak at the moment.

Actually, she's gonna pass the fuck out if he keeps looking at her lips like that and expect her to do something about it. It's a miracle she’s even still standing!

“We- we could get more comfortable”, she finally says, after what feels like a year but were probably just a few seconds of her staring at him, mouth open like a dumb, sexually frustrated fish.

“Oh? How so?” Lucifer presses their bodies closer, and shimmies a little, as if to show her that there isn't any space left in their hideout. “Not much to do about that, I'm afraid.”

Flush against him, from her breasts on his toned chest to one of his legs pleasantly slotted between her thighs, she needs a second to get her brain back online. She feels hot all over, and the sound of her own heartbeat is deafening in her ears.

His thigh is so tantalizingly close to where she really wants it - the thought of the friction of his trousers against her already-soaked underwear is maddening.

“Of course, I could hold you up if you want to”, he adds, feigning innocence. The effect is somewhat ruined by the low timbre of his voice, but mostly by the feeling of his cock hardening against her stomach. “I'm sure it'd feel better than standing in those awfully pretty shoes of yours.”

Lucifer's hands rest nonchalantly on her waist, his thumbs stroking comforting circles on her ribs - and wow, his hands are big, aren't they? Her breasts would fit perfectly well in his palms, like they were made to touch her there, and then lower, lower, to cover the expanse of her stomach, and then to finally cup her over her underwear…

“Still with me?” he asks gently, bringing her back to the present.

“What? Yeah, I'm still...here. With you” - what the fuck was that, even? Get a grip! - “I had something else in mind, actually?”

“Do tell.”

“Mh, there's that little glass panel on the door? It's too low for you but if we switched positions I could look through it”, she explains. “So we can see who - uh, enters the kitchen?”

Okay, alright, she pleads the fifth: she just wants to 1) feel him pressed against her back, and 2) hide her face from him to calm her nerves. Sue her.

Lucifer doesn’t seem concerned with the faulty logic behind her plan, though; doesn’t ask questions like “What we would we even do if we saw someone enter the kitchen?, or “How would that make us any more comfortable?”. He just smiles, and looks quite delighted at the proposition.

“That’s a wonderful plan!” he lies, but with a playful tone that tells her he’s ready to humor her. “I’m particularly interested in how this change in positions will happen.”

And she’s very interested, too, if ‘interested’ is an euphemism for ‘turned on out of her mind’. To be fair, his mind seemed to also have gone in the same direction as hers, if the tongue-in-cheek smile he gives her is any indication: there will probably be some grinding involved.

Hopefully, a lot of it.

“Shall we try, then?” he asks, and doesn’t wait her response before making his grip on her waist stronger to tug her against him. His thigh slides higher and presses right against her core, where she desperately needed pressure; she gasps at the feeling, wondering in the back of her mind if he can feel how wet he is through the leg of his trousers.

“Oops, my bad”, Lucifer says, but doesn’t seem sorry at all, because he does it again, making her bite her lip hard enough to bleed in the effort of silencing a moan. She answers “no problem”, or maybe just rolls her hips against him on her own, who knows? Definitely not her.

The pressure of his leg eases right after, unfortunately, and the two of them try to rotate on their place without stepping on each other's feet until her back is now facing the door.

“Yay, we’re halfway there”, she murmurs against his neck, using talking as an excuse to move her lips on his skin. Lucifer laughs breathlessly in her hair and lets her hands sneak under his open jacket to rest against his sides.

Fuck, fuck, he’s perfect, she thinks, a wave of desire hitting her squarely in the chest. She wants him so much she can barely think, and she realizes - hearing how fast his heart is beating, feeling how laboured his own breathing is - that Lucifer wants her, too.

The realization is intoxicating and helps her relax under his touch.

She likes the he’s not being all calm and collected; she likes the thought that he will gladly come apart in her arms with no shame.

“Now's the fun part”, he says, arching an elegant eyebrow at her. His hands leave her body to sit on the door behind her, effectively caging her in. She doesn't mind one bit.

The closet was obviously made to accommodate only one person at a time, because they are squeezed close enough that turning around will be quite the...intimate experience.

She has never been this excited for something in her entire fucking life, she swears.

“Here goes nothing” she giggles, and thankfully Lucifer seems to find it more endearing than annoying.

She slides her hands up from his waist to his chest, in an unnecessary move studied just to feel his abs contract under her fingers, and then takes them away from his body altogether. She tries to disentangle their legs, and Lucifer reluctantly helps her by moving his toned thigh away from between hers - for the pleasure of literally no one in the tiny room.

Finally she can turn around - and God bless high heels because her hips are at just the right height to drag against Lucifer's clothed erection with every move.

“Bloody-” she hears him hiss when her they're finally back-to-chest and her ass presses deliciously on his cock. He feels so hard she doesn't know how he's still coherent.

“You have to agree” - she wiggles her ass a bit with the pretence of fixing her position - “this does feel more comfy.” Being able to hide her face is making her bolder.

Behind her, Lucifer bites back a groan by pressing his lips in her hair. His hands flex into two fists and relax again on the cold surface of the door.

“My pants don't feel that comfortable at the moment, I'm afraid”, he murmures directly in her ear. His voice is so low and grumbly that she can feel his chest vibrate against her back with every word. “I'd apologize for this” - he pushes his erection more firmly on her lower back - “but you haven't complained even once, so. Also, can you blame me?”

She makes a questioning sound, lost in the feeling of his lean body flushed on hers.

“Close contact, the thrill of possibly being caught - also, you're wearing lip gloss and your hair smells awfully nice…” He kisses the soft skin behind her ear, playful. “A better man than me couldn't resist.”

She can feel blood rise to her cheeks again, and she hides her charmed smile behind her hand. He's got this seduction schtick down to a t, doesn't he?

The entire thing feels surreal. Stuff like this doesn't happen in real life, you don't just find yourself stuck in a closet with Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome singing your praises in the sexiest British accent she has ever heard.

“Say,” he continues, oblivious to her line of thought, “before the Bad Guys stormed the place, were you dining by yourself?” One of his hands disappear from her line of vision to shift her hair all on one side.

“I-yes, I was by myself” she says with what little voice she has left. Lucifer's lips kissing her neck are doing wonders to make her forget about the failed blind date. ‘The guy - oh, that's nice - uhm, the guy didn't show up.”

Lucifer knee slides between her legs until she gets the idea and spreads her thighs to accommodate his better. The friction of his trousers against her clit is heavenly even with her panties still in the way - and, oh, she realizes after a few second that she was absentmindedly grinding against him.

“He stood you up? Obviously didn't know what he was missing.” His hand splays over her stomach and then slides down, until he can gather the soft fabric of her dress in his fingers. “What a rude, bad man”, he says, voice breathless with arousal. He keeps his touch feather-light on her inner thigh, making her shiver and bite back a moan.

She wants, needs him to touch her, her hands are shaking with the strength of the feeling. Maybe he is the actual Devil, she thinks, because this is straight up torture.

But she will not beg him: she has a feeling that Lucifer would just want to hear her being desperate for him a while longer if she did.

“But love, you're in luck - cause I'm much, much better anyway.” He leaves another heated kiss on her neck and moans when his fingers finally, finally, touch her where she wants him. “Fuck, darling - you're so wet.”

Wet? She's dripping, she probably completely ruined the leg of his trousers - and she would be mortified if Lucifer wasn't acting like that's the hottest thing he has ever seen.

His fingers have sneaked inside her panties while she was busy grinding her ass against his straining erection and now he's doing - things on her clit that makes her see stars in seconds.

“Mh, what I would do to you if we were in my bed”, he whispers in her ear. Two of his fingers slide easily into her, and they both shudder at the feeling. His free hand goes to the side of her face to angle it towards him, so he can kiss her lips even at the awkward angle. “All naked and flushed and tangled in my sheets. I'd bury my head between your legs, would you like that?”

She gasps at the words, at the image that paints itself in her head. His fingers crook inside of her, just right, and her her hands are shaking so much she can't even properly hold onto him.

Lucifer keeps talking in that grumbly voice of his, lips so close to hers they're almost kissing at every word. “Would you - fuck, would you close your thighs and keep me there... tug my hair, moan my name, all pretty and desperate? I would love it if you did,” - his touch is as frantic as she feels, his free hand roaming everywhere he can reach but returning, always, to gently hold her jaw - “you'd have to beg me to stop - but I would keep going until you came again, and again...like now, oh fuck, you're close, aren't you? Just let go, love, le-”

She kisses the end of the sentence right of his mouth, right when all the tension coiling hot in her belly snaps, leaving her knees week and mind blank.

Lucifer supports her through the shock waves with a strong arm around her waist. He kisses her much like he was talking seconds before: languid, full of promises, and with a thinly-veiled urgency that, more than anything else about him, makes her stomach tie up in knots.

Oh, isn't he so, so lovely? All dark eyes and low voice and clever fingers-

Mh, she's probably a bit high on endorphins.

“You alright, love?” he asks when her legs stop trembling with the force of her orgasm.

Never been better, she wants to say, but “Nnngh” is all that comes out of her mouth.

“I'll take it as a yes.” She can feel him smirk against her neck. “Are you up for more?”

She almost starts sobbing then and there.

So she could just tell him that she is not, in fact, up for more and Lucifer would just be like ‘It’s quite alright, no problem. Excuse me while I try to make my pants less tight in the crotch area’?

Fuck, that's so hot.

She wants him inside of her, like, yesterday.

“Hell yeah, I am” she says with her face still abandoned against his chest, which is not very sexy of her, but also the best she can do at the moment.

He smiles at that, all bright-eyed and red-lipped because of her kiss, stealing her breath away without even trying.

“That's the spirit”, he says, and dips his head down to lick a hot strip on her neck. One of her hands comes up to sink in hair to keep him there, feverish lips attached to her skin, and he responds with a breathless chuckle and a bite.

Things get - a bit blurry, after that. When she'll inevitably tell her friends about what happened, arrived at this part they will not manage to get more that a dreamy sigh out of her.

When her head momentarily clears and she manages to open her eyes, she finds her hand still grasping at Lucifer's hair - too strong, probably, but when she moves to let him go he makes this annoyed sound at the back of his throat -, and him finally unbuttoning his pants.

There's a rustling of fabric, some movements that she can't see because there's no space to turn, and then Lucifer's hand are back on her hips. “Ah, dat 'eels much better”, he says - or tries to, because the...oh, the condom he's holding with his teeth makes things more difficult.

His hands keep her still while he pushes himself against the line of her back so she can feel him, really feel him, with two layers of fabric less between him and her, pressed against her lower back.

Fuck, she wants him so bad she feels it in her stomach, in the spaces between her ribs, in the knot stuck in her throat. The emptiness of not having him inside her is a physical ache.

“Give me that”, she manages to say, and takes the packaged condom from his teeth to open it with shaky fingers. “Hurry up.”

“Bossy - I like it.” The warmth of his body disappears for few second while he hunches her dress up to expose her legs and ass. “Oh, hello. Pretty from every angle, I see”, he says appreciatively.

She can't resist arching her back and wiggling a little.

He laughs low in his throat. “Yeah, yeah, you minx, you already got in my pants. No need to put on a show”, he teases her - but he doesn't waste a second more before sliding her panties down to her ankles.

She would panic about her choice of underwear but 1) she absolutely does not remember what she put on and 2) they already hit the ground. No reason worrying now.

“Lovely”, Lucifer sighs behind her, and both his hands go at her hip bones, thumbs digging in her lower back. He raises her to her tiptoes - because he's too tall for her despite the high-heels -, so close to finally, finally-

She notices she's still holding the condom. “Wait”, she says in the moment of pure panic that only forgetting a condom can bring. “Wait, fuck, the- the thingy, here, before we forget.”

“What thin-oh, I see.” He takes it from her hand. “Of course, common courtesy and all. We could not use it, but I don't want to give a bad example”, he says, conversationally, while he rolls it on.

What does that even mean?, the rational part of her thinks.

If he doesn't fuck me in the next two seconds I'm going to cry, screams the rest of her mind.

But she’s not thinking anything anymore a few seconds later, because Lucifer is sliding into her in one long stroke. She’s so wet and ready that he’s bottoming out before either of them can get used to the sensation, and he breathlessly moans against her parted lips like he wasn’t expecting her body to take him in so easily.

The hand that’s not pressing on the door goes to clutch his jacket, touch the feverish skin of his naked thigh, slide against his ribs until Lucifer takes a hold of it and guides it back to his hair.

“Keep it there”, he half-growls half-mumbles while sinking his face in the crook of her shoulder. He bites there, softly, when he pulls out and she instinctively tightens the grip on his dark locks.

He pushes back in, then, with a practiced roll of his hips that melts her brain and makes her brokenly stutter his name.

Lucifer sets a slow pace, just how she likes it - and how can he read her body so well to even know that she likes it slow and deep and intense?

She thought that there would have been urgency behind every thrust, that he would finally chase his own orgasm after ignoring his own needs to concentrate on hers.

If nothing else, they should hurry before they get interrupted - by the police, by that strange woman he was dining with, anyone.

Instead he revels in every broken sound that leaves her lips, in how her legs shake every time his hips are flushed against hers again.

“Say, would you mind- oh, ungh” - his words fade out into a muffled growl at a particularly hard thrust - “would you mind if I left some marks?” He licks a hot strip on her neck. “I just want to eat you up”, he explains, playful smirk so wide on his face she can basically hear it.

Marks? As in, hickeys? Oh, oh, yes, she wants them. She wants to touch them and hiss in pain and think of him, in the days to come; she wants a physical reminder that she had such a stunning man in her arms.

She nods, probably letting out some affirmative sound - not that she would notice, not through the pleasure clouding her mind and the burning-hot feeling of him inside her.

His white, perfect teeth bite that spot behind her ear that she could swear has never been that sensitive before; and that's the last sensation she chooses to focus on before she closes her eyes and let's Lucifer have his way with her.

Not that she was, like, complaining. Quite the opposite.

Some time later, she could not for the life of her tell how long, his clever fingers slide from her waist to down between her legs.

“I want you to come like this, while I'm inside of you” he murmures, breath hot on her skin. His fingers stroke circles on her clit, while the heel of his hand presses gently on her lower abdomen - and she would bet that he can feel himself move in and out of her under his touch. “Feel you get even more tight around me, pull me closer. Would you like that?”

“Yeah, yes, oh Go-ah!” - he bit her a bit too hard, but he immediately soothes the pain with a feather-light kiss - “Keep doing...yeah, fuck, that. I-I'm close”, she stutters, bold and desperate and impatient, because she wants to see how he looks like when he comes. Wants to know If it's going to be her name rolling off his tongue, if his grip will get strong enough to leave bruises, whether or not his knees are going to give out like hers certainly will. “Are you? A-Are you close?”

He leaves a wet kiss on her cheek, and exhales there, eyelids heavy and brows furrowed, “I'll be right behind you, love. But you first.”

And then he renews his efforts to make her eyes roll back in her head in pleasure.

She falls off the edge soon after at a particularly slow drag of his fingers, when he's so deep inside of her she knows she'll feel empty for days after.

Her muscles clump around him, keeping him there, while her legs lose all strength and it's only his arms that keep her upright.

True to his word, he follows suit. Lucifer comes moaning her name, certainly putting up a bit of a show for her enjoyment - not that she can complain, with how pretty his lips look forming an almost pained ‘oh’.

So she kisses him, when his eyes flatter back open and their breathing start slowing down, because she can't believe he's right there to kiss her back.

***

“These trousers are a lost cause”, he's saying while they try to get decent.

She still doesn't have strength in her hands, but thankfully all she has to do is lower her dress. And pretend she'll have no problem walking out of there on high heels in a few minutes.

“Yeah, I mean”, she responds, “so is my underwear.”

Lucifer raises one eyebrow and smirks. “Then take it off, love. You can stuff it in my back pocket for safe keeping.”

She opens her mouth to say something, although she can't decide what's more appropriate between “hot” and “gross”, when the tell-tale sound of an angry woman in high heels resonates in the kitchen outside.

One second later the knob of their door falls to the ground with an offended thump!, and the door is wrenched open for the second time in the evening.

It's the same dark skinned woman that she was dining with Lucifer, and also apparently beating the shit out of armed men. She looks at her, then shifts her disbelieving gaze to Lucifer. “Really? When did you manage to get a girl in here?”

“I was here first, technically”, she explains. Lucifer nods innocently while slipping out of the room. “That's true, Maze. It was quite the effort, fitting both of us in there both.”

“I think you fit in alright”, Maze replies.

She would blush, but she's still too high on endorphins to care about her freshly-fucked look. Especially when seeing Lucifer's “just had sex” own look is almost a religious experience - messy hair, rumpled clothes, marks of lipstick everywhere. Would it be rude to take a photo?

“We gotta get out of her, fast”, Maze continues. “I called in one of your favours to keep the police busy for a while - you're welcome, by the way. But they are one their way.”

She starts tugging Lucifer away, ignoring his outraged easy, this shirt's Armani!

He turns to her when they're almost out of the kitchen. “Come to my club one of this days, will you? It's called Lux, I'm sure you've heard.” He winks at her, seemingly not giving a fuck about the cops as much as he wasn't fazed by getting shot at. “I believe I made some promises about a real bed, didn't I?”

And then he's out of the door.

But apparently not of out of her life.

A real bed, uh?

***

23.15 - From: BFF <3 > So??? How's the date going?

23.17 - To: BFF <3 > heyyyy omg the guy didn't show up fuck you very much btw but also like,,, thank god, you know?

23.17 - From: BFF <3 > He didn't show up? D: I'm so sorry! What happened? You're writing like you're drunk.

23.18 - To: BFF <3 > drunk on life babyyyyyyy> srry my brain is still mush because i came like twice if you can believe it lmao

Hope you guys like it <3 Any feedback is more than appreciated!

[fcking-lets-go]

Gwilym x Reader (and Joe x Carboard! Reader) Headcannons

@borhap-socials was seeking something like this, and I was bored. Hope ya guys enjoy this XD

Warning: Swears

Sooooooo, you were hanging out with Joe and Ben at night.

Baby Gwilym was out getting interview sessions done, and going on talk shows.

He wouldn’t be done for another night, and you didn’t want to be alone.

So here your are, watching Scream for no good reason, while drinking with your best friends.

You happened to be at Joe’s house for the night, fyi.

Which means, a safe place to crash if you’re hammered (don’t drink and drive kids)

BUT, that also means a certain cut out is lying around the area.

While looking for some snacks, you found said cardboard cut out of Benny in his closet and pull the thing out.

The thing was honestly so cool, knowing that your best friend was so popular that they made a Carboard cutout of him.

“.....aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA”

Ben and Joe bolted up to the couch and met up to you to see why you were groaning.

“What the fuck was that?!”

“....BENNY IM JEALousssss”

They lost their shit when they what you were holding.

“...girl, you’re drunk” Joe manages to say through wheezes

“But Joeyyyyy it’s not fairrrr. There’s a literal Carboard cut out of my cool best friend. Mean while, boring me doesn’t get cool stuff like thisssss”.

You had to admit having celebrities as your friends and boyfriend made you jealous of their recognition.

Where as you were just a writer that was slowly making it out in the world.

It gets hard sometimes.

The two started to notice you were getting tears eyed, so they engulfed you in a hug and proceeded to carry you to Joe’s guest room for the night.

They hated seeing you like this, and honestly saw you as their sister.

They wanted you to feel special.

That’s where Joe comes up with an idea.

He runs to the kitchen and pull out his laptop.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Ben, do you have that pic of (y/n) from the oscars”

“...yeah why?”

“Send it to me NOw”

The very confused Brit pulled out his phone and started to search the pic.

Gwil asked Ben to take it for him, since (oddly enough) gwil had no room on his phone.

It was a full body shot of you in an elegant black, sleeveless dress with a white gem gradient at the skirt.

“Joe, before i ask. How much did you drink tonight?”

“Shat up”

“...Ok now I have to ask. What the fuck are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m ordering a cardboard cut out of (y/n)”

“What?”

Surely enough, there on the screen was Joe’s order of one life size cut out of their best friend on his screen.

“What the fuck Joe?!”

“Look you saw how sad she was when she saw your cutout. And what she said....dude I think she’s jealous of the recognition we get as celebs”

“...again how drunk are you?”

“Goddammit Ben, I’m trying to be nice! Take me serious for once”

“Alright alright, damn”

“Thank you!”

.......

“...you know, if your want me to take you serious, then put it on express”

“FINE!!”

They stayed up late editing that pic.

Ben managed to find a way to get it the next day with the express, IF they physically picked it up from the store.

Knowing that you would be a bit hungover in the morning. They made a compromise that Joe would go to the store to pick it up, while Ben would stay back and hangout with you.

Easy!

Just as they were setting up for the day, Ben got a text from Gwilym.

He was finished with interviews earlier than expected and said that he was an hour away from their area.

He mentioned that he was texting you, but he was worried that you weren’t responding.

Ben not really thinking, texted Gwil that you were still at Joe’s house and told him to head there where he could pick you up.

It was probably 7am, where they checked in on you

Surely enough, the predicted hangover was evident as your body slept in.

It gave Joe a chance to sneak out, and Ben to surprise you with a nice breakfast.

(Small note, Ben had a hard time finding the pots and pans, which made him realize that Joe doesn’t cook much)

Maybe an hour or so passed, and he was finishing up washing some dishes as he cooked, but then the door bell rung.

Ben started smirking to himself, thinking it was Joe with the cutout of you and ran to the door.

“Hey Ben”

“Oh hey, Gwil you’re back”

Nope not Joe.

Gwilym was smiling, glad to be back in a familiar environment after dealing with long interviews with random strangers.

He hugged his best friend before stepping in.

“Is she still asleep?”

“Yeah. (Y/n) drank quite a bit last night. Might be hungover, but probably just tired”

“Of course hah. Wait, where’s Joe?”

“Oh um, that’s a long story, you see. Joe and I-“

“IT FUCKING CAME IN!!!! ITS IN!! ITS IN!!! BEHOLD THE BEAUTIFUL...Gwil!”

The two faced the doorway to see Joe holding a life size Carboard cut out (nice ink might I add) of (y/n) in his arms.

“You’re home early”

Before Gwilym could express the utter confusion that was being held in his mind, Ben stepped in and started to explain the whole sitatuaion.

Meanwhile Joe was on the verge of an anxiety attack seeing how bad it looked that he had a cut out of his best friend’s girlfriend.

“So Joe. You ordered a life size cutout of my girlfriend, as a way to cheer her up?”

“...yes”

“How drunk were you?”

“AYE!”

“Messing with ya”

That eased the tension in the room a little, oddly enough.

Gwil started to look at joe a bit more, making another confused face.

“....So Joe. Where’s my cutout?”

Joe made a face, “sorry what?”

“My cutout? I assume you got one for me too since she is my girlfriend”

*Joe* oh shit.

“Oh well um, haha, see the thing is Gwil I um..I just-I...I didn’t get you one”

“......”

*in Joe’s head* fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

“Fine, I’ll take yours”

“Wait what?”

“I’ll take yours and you can order another one for yourself”

“Wait what? No she’s mine”

“Sorry what?” Joe could’ve been killed right then and there.

“Wrong choice of words, what I mean is, this cutout is mine Gwil. I want this to be my little joke with her”

“But, I want to be able to have a cutout of (y/n)”

“Yeah I get it, but I paid express for her”

“You have money”

“IM SAVVY GWIL, NOT A FRIVOLOUS SPENDER”

Meanwhile, Ben’s eating breakfast with his cardboard cut out of himself.

This eventually turned into a fucking tug o war between Joe and Gwil, with a freaking cardboard cut out of (y/n).

The bickering between the two echoed thorough the walls of the house, waking you form your slumber.

You groaned at the morning light, and started to head towards the center of the house.

Wondering what the fuck is all that noise coming from.

And there it was. A sight you never thought you would see.

Your boyfriend and your best friend, fighting over you.

...a Carboard you

“GWIL I bought her!”

“But she’s my girlfriend”

“SHE”S MY BEST FRIEND BITCH”

“Don’t bitch me!”

Joe’s grip switched from the middle, to the post of your legs.

“This is MINEEEEE”

Cue a loud ripping noise as Joe Mazzello has managed to rip you away from Gwil’s hands.

But.............

The head was nearly torn off.

And hung from a small strand of Carboard as Joe was now holding, a nearly headless (Y/n).

“...morning (y/n). How are you?!” Joe said, as he tried to not subtly hide the thing behind him.

You squinted at the two of them, noting that Gwil was there, but didn’t say anything.

Next thing they knew, they saw you pull out your phone and dial in some number.

“...hey Lucy. How are you? Yeah I’m good. Are you free at the moment? No, great! Can you pick me up at Joe’s house? I think Joe and Gwilym have to resolve some issues right now”

[phandomphightclub]

Unfavorable Circumstances

“Thanks, Frostbite!” Danny exclaimed as he flew off. He had just visited his allies in the Far Frozen to ask for a favor, but that favor did not come easily... especially after the last time Danny had used the InfiMap. But, after some convincing and a whole lot of promises, Frostbite gave in to the halfa, and now Danny was gazing down at the all powerful relic in his hands.

He couldn’t help but feel guilty because he had shuffled his way around answering Frostbite’s request to know what he needed the map for. He kept reassuring himself that it was for the best and Frostbite did not need to know that Danny was looking for trouble. Plus, after almost being caught by his parents twice in the same day, he needed more practice.

Danny slowed to a stop against a backdrop of a seemingly endless ectoplasmic void. The zone was quiet. The usual sound of ghosts cackling and doors slamming was nonexistent. Danny could hardly feel the currents of air as he expended his energy to keep himself tangible. It was eerie.

This was the moment Danny had been planning for weeks. All the preparation and schemes to get himself here seemed almost too surreal. Vlad would be so jealous of him if he knew.

Releasing a deep breath, Danny calmed his excitement before saying, “InfiMap. Take me to someone who needs help.”

The InfiMap started to glow and Danny was immediately whisked away. He was barely able to hold onto the map. They were nearing upon a door with a sign that said “DO NOT ENTER” in bold red ink on the front. The door opened and Danny was immediately swallowed by darkness.

-----

The slam of the door behind Danny caught him off guard. He took a minute to steady himself. The dizzying feeling in his head would not cease, but he tried his best to take in his surroundings.

The glow emitting from Danny’s eyes was the only thing enabling him to see, and even then, Danny couldn’t make out much.

He felt around in the darkness, trying to find something to help him stand up. He gripped a shelf on the wall next to him and pulled himself up. His hands grazed around the shelf trying to regain his balance when he accidentally knocked something off the shelf. It landed on the floor with a clamorous CrACk!

Oh great, Danny thought, yet another example for the people who accuse me of vandalism to use. I must be in some lab storage closet or something,

He was still a bit dizzy, and the wretched smell was not helping. It was a smell Danny knew all too well from being in his parents lab. Formaldehyde. The item that had fallen off the shelf must have been a jar preserving some sort of specimen. And as curious as Danny was to find out what was in the jar, he knew he had to focus on his mission.

I’ve got to find who needs help, and fast. Who knows how much time I have, Danny thought.

As Danny tried to find his footing, he stumbled over a pile of boxes and into a large piece of cardboard.

“I swear to god if I’m here to help someone who is being haunted by the Box Ghost’s cardboard boxes of doom, I will not be able to restrain myself,” Danny dully joked to himself.

Carefully stepping forward to avoid falling again, Danny used the dim light from his eyes to make out a door handle about two feet away. He reached forward to grasp the handle and burst the door open.

The sound of the door slamming against the wall could have woken up the whole Fenton household. Danny fell with the door as he opened it only to find himself landing on a very comfortable pillow.

Why did the InfiMap take me here? Danny asked himself while trying to make out any shapes in the dark room.

The light flickered on.

The brightness engulfed the room and Danny had to shield his eyes as he was rendered temporarily blind. It took a moment for Danny to take in his surroundings. He was laying on the floor of a bedroom… not a lab. Everything looked normal enough until Danny noticed an accent wall amongst three gray walls.

The wall was completely plastered in wallpaper of his face; Fenton’s face! The photos left Danny with a weird feeling. It was almost as if the eyes were staring directly into his soul.

How did someone even get a photo of my face at that angle? And, more importantly, why is it plastered across a wall multiple times!?! Danny screamed internally.

That was not the only thing he noticed. That door he had just fallen through? A storage closet, yes, but not just any storage closet. A storage closet filled with jars of specimens. The jars were labeled with the names of various ghosts. Some of the jars were even labeled with a sample number and the word “Fenton.” A shiver ran down Danny’s spine. Some were even labeled “Phantom.”

The cardboard Danny ran into? A life-sized cardboard cutout of Danny Phantom. How someone had managed to get their hands on it was beyond Danny, but it freaked him out a little bit.

Upon further inspection of the room, Danny noticed a messy desk in the corner. There were more jars on the desk and even a microscope.

Disgusting, Danny thought.

He started to pick up on some other little things, mainly the wanted posters depicting Phantom and a messy bulletin board with a red string connecting different piles of information. There was even a photo of some girl, with blue and purple dotted hair, in a heart shaped frame hanging on the wall.

That’s when Danny realized what he was laying on. It was very comfortable and it reminded him of home. A Danny Phantom body pillow. It was very similar to the one he owned.

Everything clicked into place when Danny noticed Wes Weston standing next to the light switch with his mouth agape.

Danny’s breath hitched. He stared wide eyed at the ginger. Danny looked around the room once more before finally speaking up.

“Man, the InfiMap was right. You really do need help.”

[ask-svt-hearteu]

Svt's Reaction to their S/O who's secretly an otaku

Requested by anon

Seungcheol- Is it just me or would Seungcheol be super confused at first? “Babe, a package came in the mail? It’s a bunch of manga and anime stuff? When did you buy all this?” He’d find it super cute though when he finds out. A lot of teasing… “Damn sweetheart, you don’t even obsess about Seventeen as much as some of this…” He’d probably be super curious what it was all about. Finds out your next shipment of stuffs is coming at 5:00pm and ends up staying up until 4:00am reading/watching anime. He’s hooked. Now he obsessively nerds out with you about all your favs and y'all get into fights over who’s merch was who’s.

“Stop stealing my manga to read on the toilet, y/n!!!”

Jeonghan- Probably doesn’t understand it whatsoever, but he loves you so he’s not going to complain about it. Unless you’re not paying enough attention to him, then he’ll jokingly take your stuff and hide it somewhere high up or under his shirt. “Yah! Are you in love with this or me, huh?” Always falls asleep on the couch with his head on your shoulder while you’re catching up on the latest and unapologetically fake snores or tickles you to get your attention. Surprisingly takes extreme care to never damage any of your prized possessions until maybe one day when something goes missing and he claims it wasn’t him although you found it under his pillow.

“I swear, I was just using it for scientific research, don’t kill me, y/n.” 

Joshua- This dork is freaking the fluff out, he’s always been super into this kind of stuff and can’t believe you never told him so he could have someone to fanboy/girl over it with him. “Have you seen/watched/read this?” “You have to check this one out, y/n!” You both probably have every evening dedicated to geeking out together and making theories, a lot of discussions and arguments over plot, favorite characters, best ships. He’d probably be more happy about the whole thing than you are because now he doesn’t have to hide it either.

“Y/n, this just means we're a better match for each other, more than we thought!”

Jun- Oh my god this boi will tease you forever I swear. But not in the mean way, just enough to make you react in a way he thinks is freaking adorable. And because he wants to make you think he’s jealous. “Wouldn’t you rather be staring at me all day?” You of course tease him back and say no, which he lowkey get’s offended. You always explain the plot to him over and over because he forgets a lot. He wants to understand what he’s watching or reading but also just wants to hear you talk about something so passionately. Eventually he’ll want your attention on him again. 

“Babe I’m so much better. Better looking, I’m a real person, which means I can touch you…”

Hoshi- Turns into a little fluffy hamster because even if he doesn’t like it as much as dance, he can appreciate you and your loves. In his mind it’s like, me = dance, y/n = anime. Thinks your reaction is the fluffiest ever so constantly buys you manga or anime plushies. Definitely will watch your shows with you. Cries when someone dies. “Y/n why? did? that? why?” “Soonyoungie, that didn’t kill them, they have powers.” “Oh.” Gets inspired by the manga or anime and creates seventeen’s choreography with it. So next time you guys watch or read together,

“OOO! Remember that choreo I showed you, it was from this.”

Wonwoo- You know this boy already loves to read. So when he finds out you like anime and manga, he’s reluctant. Not because he’s judging you but because he wants to like it too but what if manga isn’t his thing. Ends up really liking some of them because he really likes the plot, character, etc. Becomes comfortable with all the pictures with words. And secretly loves it just as much as you. “Y/n~ look what I got.” “HOW. THAT JUST RELEASED!” “Hehe, when me and the guys were in Japan...” You guys read them together. Always. But.

“BABE, did you read the first chapter without me?? I can see the book creases!”

Woozi- He’s the one pretending to not understand why you’re obsessing over this when he knows perfectly well why. Endless teasing, “Babe, why is there a small plastic person staring at me when we sleep?” Secretly thinks it’s adorable but would never admit it to you. He also loves anime but every time you bring this up he’s like, “what? who”. Denies any kind of fanboying he’s ever done. “nope you got the wrong person.” One day out of nowhere, he makes you listen to this track. “I got inspired while you were listening to that ost, and your love and passion for it made me realize all over again how beautiful you are and I put this together to remind you of that.”

“I can sometimes pay attention, you know y/n, and what I saw, I won’t forget, passion and beauty, something I admire a lot.”

Dk- Practically bouncing off the walls with excitement. Will ask you to explain everything too him with a bright smile. Get into multiple anime and manga but forgets it all. Always wants to watch it to see what’s it about but asks questions. “I DIDN’T KNOW THEY COULD DO THAT” Still fanboys with you, hypes everything up, buys you gifts when he remembers. You think he’s the most adorable ever because he’ll fanboy about something not knowing it at all. “Do you remember this character at all?” "Nope"

“Which one is that, y/n? Should I style my hair like that? Would it make you laugh?”

MIngyu- Protests about it at first, but will end up doing everything with you. Only protests because he wanted you to fangirl about him. He tries really hard to get into stuff with you, but he doesn't really ever understand what happens. He's too distracted by their hair colors and outfit choices to pay attention to the plot. He's willing to bake themed cakes and make other themed foods for you whenever though, keeps dinners interesting. And good luck if you fangirl/boy over just one character too much. That's going to make Mingyu playfully jealous, a lot of tickling and teasing and chasing around the sofa if you keep going on and on about your fav.

"I mean I admit he’s handsome and cool, but I’m a much better visual to stare at.”

The8- He'd probably act the most indifferent on the outside, "I'm not stupid, y/n, there's a life-size cardboard cutout in the closet, did you think I didn't notice?" "Everyone has their own likes and preferences, doesn't change the fact that I love you. So why even hide it in the first place?" Secretly looks at your stuff so one day when you're talking about your fav otp, out of nowhere he says, " ______ makes a better couple though." You both would probably playfully bicker over the best couples all the time. He still pretends he's not just as obsessive as you are though.

"I love you, quirks and all. Plus if you can still love me after trying to flip water bottles for a good hour or so, it all works out in the end."

 Seungkwan- Is like what is this? at first. But honestly just pretending because he already kinda knew because of Joshua. Just wanted to see you slightly offended because you look cute. He's going to be EXTRA af though. Goes around screaming character catchphrases and singing the OST's at the top of his lungs. Cosplays as characters he barely knows and jumps off of chairs and from behind doors to scare you. "Guess who I am babe?" Acts out scenes repeatedly and runs around yelling and overacting as usual. Is fascinated by the costuming choices,

“Gosh for seventeen next concept, we’ll dress up as anime characters.”

Vernon- Finds it hella hilarious because he fanboys over stuff all the time and now he knows you do too. Y'all now both have your own fandoms that you always obsess over and neither of you want to get into the other's. "A new episode comes out tonight!" "I already called dibs on the tv though!" A lot of tickle fights to see who gets the tv. He thinks it's great that you have obsessions like he does and although you both aren't really interested in each other's fandoms, y'all fangirl/boy together. Also steals your fav character body pillow to snuggle with.

"I don't know who this is, but if you want it back y/n, you're going to have to take its place."

Dino- This cutie is a confused marshmallow. He's really respectful of your interests though, and never refuses you when you ask him to watch something with you. He can't help it, you're too cute to refuse. He, like Minghao, wouldn't understand why you had to hide it though. He'll drag you out to stores he researched and ask you to pick out all your favs, and then just listens to you rant about certain issues or episodes or characters. He loves listening to you go on and on about it and out of curiosity ask you to point out stuff in shops and explain the whole plot to him.

"SO you're telling me, that there are like 60 characters you have to keep track of? How?"

MASTERLIST

[percywinchester27]

At Plucky’s

Word count: 1500-ish

Warning: Angst, feels, Sam being brave and Dean being awesome.

Summary: Ever wondered when Sam finally stopped spending his afternoon’s at Plucky Pennywhistle’s magical menagerie? And what prompted it?

A/N: This is for @thing-you-do-with-that-thing‘s spn hiatus writing challenge. The prompt was: “Where the fuck did that clown come from?”

I bet y’all didn’t expect this ;) *Evil laugh* Feedback is really appreciated.

Sam knew he couldn't do it anymore. Not again, not ever. He looked around himself, towards the brightly painted tapestries and banners. It was all yellow and red and bright shades of blue. It was overwhelming. All around him children were laughing and playing on the slides, but the only thought running through Sam's head was wanting to get out.

At 11, he was older than most kids there, and that was what made it worse. All those kids loved it here. They were beyond excited that their parents dropped them off at Plucky's after school instead of making them sit at home home with a babysitter.

If he hadn't been scared to death about being here, he would have found it ridiculous than anyone could enjoy themselves in a silly little place like this, where the collective noise from all the games and rides was enough to drive anyone insane. How? How could anyone find it amusing and entertaining at any age was beyond Sam.

He had tried everything he could to make it easier for him here. He had tried the stupid video games, the puzzles, the ball pits, everything to keep his head out of it, to ignore the big clown staring down at him from the entrance… but he couldn’t. The whole place was crawling with them. paintings, plop-ups and real people dressed as clowns. Every time Sam saw one, his breath caught in his throat. Over the days, he had resorted to hiding behind a video game booth facing the wall at the very end, and finishing his homework. He counted every second till 6, so that Dean could come pick him up.

He could just ask Dean to not bring him here anymore again, he thought shrinking further into his corner. But he quickly erased that thought. He had tried telling Dean the first day, but when his brother had come to pick him up, Sam couldn't not notice the smile on his face. Dean had been happy. So Sam had swallowed his own fear and blinked back his tears.

Dean deserved to be happy. He probably had been out with that girl he was kissing in school today. Sam had seen them sneak out of a supply closet, he knew what they had been up to. What 15 year old wants to be stuck with a kid brother after school? Dean had done it all his life, look after Sam. So now when Sam was old enough to be on his own, he wasn't going to be whiny and throw a fit about it.

So asking Dean was out of question. The only way out of this was if they moved to another town that didn't have a Plucky. Then Sam could just stay behind in the hotel room and Dean can do whatever it was that he wanted to do. Sam wouldn't be a burden on him then.

"Hey Winchester!" A loud voice called from above him.

Sam screwed his eyes shut, cursing his luck. Of course Kevin had to find him here.

Sam had dealt with him just this morning. Kevin had been picking on one of the quiet guys in the class until Sam had stood up against it. Sam was scrawny and small, but he knew how to fight; better than anyone his age. The massively sized Kevin, however didn't know that. He had laughed and charged at Sam with all the force he could muster.

Five minutes later, Sam had walked out of that classroom without a scratch while Kevin had been knocked flat on his ass. He hadn't wanted to, but he had had no choice.

"So you got dumped out here, cause you're so unwanted. I mean they put you in this pathetic place with all these kids." He laughed.

"Looks like your folks had the same idea," Sam sassed without opening his eyes. He could feel Kevin breathing down his neck at the words. He had definitely rubbed it in Kevin's face with that.

"At least I have folks. You have no folks at all."

Sam's eyes snapped open at that. It was mean and vindictive, but it didn't hurt Sam the way Kevin had intended. Sam had a family. Sam had Dean.

"You see Winchester, I know something about you."

"What is that Kevin?" Sam turned to look at the bully straight in his eyes.

"I know what you are scared of," Kevin whispered maliciously.

Sam gulped. He felt perspiration settle on his forehead. What could Kevin possibly do? He was already surrounded by clowns. There was no way Kevin could make it worse.

Sam was wrong. He stared in mute horror as two of Kevin's cronies stepped in from behind him. They were dressed up in the most outrageous clown costume, and had painted their face like the clown from "It." Sam felt his heart stop and then speed up to double its rate as they closed in on him from either side.

He was trapped in the very corner that had become his respite in this hell house. His eyes widened in fear as they laughed mercilessly above him. All he could do was back into the wall and crouch in their shadows.

"Hey there! What are you doing to the kid?" An adult voice admonished from behind, and the boys split up. Standing behind them was one of Plucky's own clowns. He was clearly worried that Sam was being bullied, but looking at his painted face only tipped Sam further over the edge, as a sob ripped through his throat and he broke into a run, trying to get as away from them as possible.

In his hurry to get to the door, Sam skidded into a Clown pop-up and went skittering down on the floor along with the cardboard cutout. When he tried to get back up on his feet, he found himself trapped underneath the clown cut out, staring directly into its mad, wild eyes. With a scream he kicked it over his head, trying to push himself away as he crawled along the floor, making no effort to stop the tears.

Kevin and the other two were howling with laughter behind him, but Sam was too far gone. He somehow managed to get back on his feet, trying his best to not look up at anything.

"Kid! Come here,"  the man called from behind, but Sam couldn't look at him dressed like that. He started running towards the door again, finally making it out. He would have ran all the way out, had he not run into a solid figure of flesh. He would have pushed aside and continued, but he recognized the smell immediately, throwing his arms around the boy's waist and burying his face in his brother's shirt.

"Whoa Sammy!" Dean's gentle hands held him tight. "What the hell happened?"

"Cl-cl-" Sam tried, but he couldn't get a single word out as sobbed violently.

"Sam what happened?" Dean crouched down to Sam's level. "You're scaring me man."

"Boy, come back!" The man called from behind Sam, and he threw his arms once more around Dean's neck, shivering aggressively.

"Where the fuck did that clown come from?" Dean murmured, as the man approached him.

Dean gently pushed Sam behind him, while the man explained what had happened. Sam let them talk it out, staring at his feet as he tried to get the dry heaving under control.

Suddenly he was ashamed of having cried like that. What was Dean going to think? That Sam was scared of clowns? Stupid clowns? How was he ever going to fight real monsters when he couldn't even deal with this?

When the man was gone, Dean crouched back again. But before he could speak, Sam cut him off.

"I know what you're gonna say,' he muttered, looking down, not quite able to meet his brother's eyes. "I know I'm too old to cry like that."

Dean ruffled Sam's hair. "Not what I was gonna say," he said simply. His tone was light.

Sam looked into his brother's eyes then. There was no judgment there. Only worry.

"I was gonna ask you why you didn't tell me before? I've been dropping you off here for weeks now. I had no idea it was that full of clowns."

"I didn't want to be a burden anymore."

Dean ran his hand through his hair. "Don't you ever say that. You're my brother! You're never a burden. You get that?"

Sam nodded. He knew Dean meant it.

"How about I take you out for a baseball game? It's still light. You'd like that?"

"Sure!" Sam smiled, finally allowing himself to be happy. He was never going back into another Plucky, ever again.

"C'mon!" Dean slung his arm over Sam's shoulder as the brothers left the parking lot.

"Hey Sam?" Dean asked casually as they walked away from the Plucky's. "How many days do you think it would take for the parent’s to figure it out if we locked those three idiots in there with those creepy ass clowns?” 

Sam’s laughter over that, echoed through the parking lot long after they had walked out.

Please please please tell me how this was??? 

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