#Is a delicate line
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Solas x Lavellan
Dragon age the Veilguard
Tel banal, ara'ma
It won’t be terrible if you’re with me.
Available as print here.
#I enjoyed this process So MUCH#And what a process it was. In one wip Solas looked a little bit too beat up... to balance the line of disheveled and on the brink of death#Is a delicate line#And painting these floating stones was such a joy! Good practice too as I don't often draw spacious and atmospheric scenes#I should do it more often. I was inspired by the concept art of Dai and datv. The amount of stories you can tell with the colors! LOVE#I tried a new technique for painting the skin and it was challenging. I layered transparent colors over a black and white shadow sketch.#A technique usually kept for oilpainting but it translated surprisingly well in digital media#And side note. Aren't these the wettest eyes of Thedas? I'm proud.#Solavellan#solasmance#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age#solas#solas dragon age#solas x female lavellan#Post datv#datv spoilers#datv fanart#Solavellan fanart#Da4#da: the veilguard#veilguard spoilers#my art#Solavellan heaven#<- new tagg we went from hell to heaven ^^#DazeChroma#Daze chroma#Myart#digital drawing#Digital painting
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Mizu, femininity, and fallen sparrows
In my last post about Mizu and Akemi, I feel like I came across as overly critical of Mizu given that Mizu is a woman who - in her own words - has to live as a man in order to go down the path of revenge.
If she is ever discovered to be female by the wrong person, she will not only be unable to complete her quest, but there's a good chance that she'll be arrested or killed.
So it makes complete sense for Mizu to distance herself as much as possible from any behavior that she feels like would make someone question her sex.
I felt so indignant toward Mizu on my first couple watchthroughs for this moment. Why couldn't Mizu bribe the woman and her child's way into the city too? If Mizu is presenting as a man, couldn't she claim to be the woman's escort?
However, this moment makes things pretty clear. Mizu knows all too well the plight of women in her society. She knows it so well that she cannot risk ever finding herself back in their position again. She helps in what little way she can - without drawing attention to herself.
Mizu is not a hero and she is not one to make of herself a martyr - she will not set herself on fire to keep others warm. There's room to argue that Mizu shouldn't prioritize her quest over people's lives, but given the collateral damage Mizu can live with in almost every episode of season 1, Mizu is simply not operating under that kind of morality at this point. ("You don't know what I've done to reach you," Mizu tells Fowler.)
And while I still feel like Mizu has an obvious and established blind spot when it comes to Akemi because of their differences in station, such that Mizu's judgment of Akemi and actions in episode 5 are the result of prejudice rather than the result of Mizu's caution, I also want to establish that Mizu is just as caged as Akemi is, despite her technically having more freedom while living as a man.
Mizu can hide her mixed race identity some of the time, and she can hide her sex almost all of the time, but being able to operate outside of her society's strict rules for women does not mean she cannot see their plight.
It does not mean she doesn't hurt for them.
Back to Mizu and collateral damage, remember that sparrow?
While Mizu is breaking into Boss Hamata's manse, she gets startled by a bird and kills it on reflex. She then cradles it in her hands - much more tenderly than we've seen Mizu treat almost anything up to this point in the season:
She then puts it in its nest, with its unhatched eggs. Almost like she's trying to make the death look natural. Or like an accident.
You see where I'm going with this.
When Mizu kills Kinuyo, Mizu lingers in the moment, holding the body tenderly:
And btw a lot of stuff about this show hit me hard, but this remains the biggest gut punch of them all for me, Mizu holding that poor girl's body close, GOD
When Mizu arranges the "scene of the crime," Kinuyo's body is delicate, birdlike. And Mizu is so shaken afterward that she gets sloppy. She's horrified at this kill to the point that she can't bring herself to take another innocent life - the boy who rats her out.
MIZU'S ONE MOMENT OF SOFTNESS AND MERCY, COMING ON THE HEELS OF HER NEEDING TO KILL A GIRL TO SPARE HER THE WORST FATE THAT THIS RIGID SOCIETY HAS TO OFFER WOMEN, AND TO SPARE A BROTHEL FULL OF INNOCENT WOMEN WHO ARE THE CASTOFFS OF SOCIETY, NEARLY RESULTS IN ALL OF THEIR DEATHS
No wonder Mizu is as stoic and cold as she is.
And no wonder Mizu has no patience for Akemi whatsoever right before the terrible reveal and the fight breaks out:
Speaking of Akemi - guess who else is compared to a bird!
The plumage is more colorful, a bit flashier. But a bird is a bird.
And, uh
Yeah.
I like to think that Mizu killing the sparrow is not only foreshadowing for what she must do to Kinuyo, but is also a representation of the choice she makes on Akemi's behalf. She decides to cage the bird because she believes the bird is "better off." Better off caged than... dead.
But because Mizu doesn't know Akemi or her situation, she of course doesn't realize that the bird is fated to die if it is caged and sent back home.
Mizu is clearly not happy, or pleased, or satisfied by allowing Akemi to be dragged back to her father:
But softness and mercy haven't gotten Mizu anywhere good, recently.
There is so much tragedy layered into Mizu's character, and it includes the things she has to witness and the choices she makes - or believes she has to make - involving women, when she herself can skirt around a lot of what her society throws at women. Although, I do believe that it comes at the cost of a part of Mizu's soul.
After all, I'm gonna be haunted for the rest of this show by Mizu's very first prayer in episode 1:
"LET" her die. Because as Ringo points out, she doesn't "know how" to die.
Kind of like another bird in this show:
#blue eye samurai#mizu#akemi#kinuyo#bes#women are birds okay they are BIRDS#the let me die line is so SCARY AND SAD like a part of Mizu wants death but she cant? she doesnt know how?? excuse you show???#when all these other delicate birds are dying all around her#akemis character gets more and more gutwrenching upon subsequent rewatches because whenever she says her life is in danger#NO ONE BELIEVES HER - certainly not other women#because shes rich and pampered and that means shes safe and is worrying about nothing right? right?????#and it turns out that all of akemis instincts were right and she was in danger the ENTIRE TIME#also I need to make a post just for kinuyo because I am sad
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Shana, your tags on this post ...I need to know more! What exactly was the plan for Supernatural season 3 if it hasn't been for the writer's strike??? And how haven't I heard about this already?? I need the deets!
i'm so glad you asked :)
the original plan for season 3 was for sam to descend into using his demon powers to get dean out of the deal, and for dean to never go to hell. then the writers strike happened, the season got cut from 22 eps to 16, with only 4 after the strike, and that wasn't enough time to establish sam's spiral and powers, so changed the ending. it's on the wiki and there are some articles around about it
this was, in my opinion, the worst fucking decision they could make
it ruined the characters in a lot of ways and really unbalanced everything in a way the show never recovered from
the thing is that this arc is so well set up!
literally at the end of season 2 we get
"You're my big brother, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. And I don't care, I'm going to get you out of this. I'm going to save your ass for a change."
sam has evaded azazel's every attempt to corrupt him. his shitty home life, all the demons he's exposed sam to, killing jessica, taking away his father, putting him in a literal life or death hunger games scenario. each time sam refuses to play ball
(sam's incorruptibility is what makes him qualified to be king of hell, but that's a different post)
he's the moral compass between him and dean. always has been. there is nothing in sam's messed up, twisted life that has pushed him pass mercy
but dean could do it. there's nothing sam wouldn't do for his big brother
john told dean that he had to either save sam or kill him. except he's never needed to save sam, because it's literally always sam making the measured, compassionate, merciful call. he's the one holding dean back, not the other way around
and sam straining towards darkness for the first time, for dean, would kill him. we'll come back to this
mystery spot, as an episode, is actually pointless if the plan was for dean to go to hell. because sam's sneak peek into what his life is like after dean doesn't do anything. i love this ep, but it's narratively pointless now
however
with the og plan, mystery spot is the turning point. it not only tells sam how miserable he'll be after dean is gone, but it also establishes what he's willing to do to get him back - pretty much anything. it's not theoretical pain, it's not theoretical grief. mystery spot is the thing that pushes sam towards being hard, away from the moral sweetness he's embodied for the past two and half seasons.
the next ep, jus in bello, shows this. sam is considering doing the terrible thing. he's now capable of considering the terrible thing in a way he wasn't before mystery spot. this is when his descent starts, when sam decides he's willing to trade his humanity for his brother's life
and then the writer's strike happened
right when it's getting good, right when sam's arc is ramping up, we lose it. and instead of picking it back up, pushing dean's deal to next season and giving it the weight it deserves, they say fuck it, and send dean to hell
but this fucks it all up. we have sam's "descent" with ruby and demon blood. except not really because he's not even hurting anyone. and dean's back, but not because of sam. sam didn't save him
this fucks it all up
because deans anger and fear and desire to save sam should have been tempered with the knowledge that he did that to save dean's life. that once more someone dean loves has made a terrible sacrifice for him, which he can't stand, which he hates. he has the self esteem of a gnat and the best people he knows keep destroying themselves for his benefit
i think the og build up was sam strengthening his powers to kill lilith, doing it, and then releasing lucifer at the end of s3. sam unwittingly starting the apocolypse to save his brother (does he regret it, dean wonders. it would be easier if he did)
and now everything is shit and dean's drowning but here and his brother has turned himself into something that's not unlike the kid dean loves so much it almost killed him, but not exactly the same. and now he understands john, because this is the sam that dean has to either save or kill, except he could never kill him. he loves him (and how can he kill sam for doing this when it's dean's fault, when dean made the deal that doomed his brother when all he wanted was to save him)
this is the flip that the show has been building towards. dean having to be the moral center for his brother for once. dean being the one saved. dean finally having to face his father's words and deciding once and for all if he's john's son or sam's brother
but instead dean goes to hell. and he's no one moral's center. because he broke in hell, he tortured people and he enjoyed it. they ruined dean with this. because instead of fighting and growing from his violence, they push him into it, and then they call him a righteous man. dean was the one harming people, he's the one that descended into darkness, not sam. sam and his demon blood had still only been trying to good, and in the end did do good, far more than anything dean did in hell, or has done since. his moral outrage, his anger, his disgust towards sam isn't only wildly out of character, it's hypocritical as hell. sam remains the moral, compassionate one, even through this. it never slides to dean. neither of them are really forced to grow or change, only to become twisted into each other in ways that hurt them both
this should have been the story of what sam would do to save his brother (anything) and what dean would do to save his brother (anything)
they should have saved each other
#instead we get dean as an abusive asshole and sam the perpetual victim from him from lucifer from everyone#in magicians julia has a line after her sa about how shes not a delicate flower or a fragile piece of glass that she's a person and ppl hea#they never let my boy heal#either of them#something something everyone is sam's family making deals that he has to pay for#supernatural#asks#flamingwell
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An observation that is obvious to anyone who has eyes: Sebastian is soooo pretty
#please look at him#why does yana toboso draw his eyelashes so long#why does he have the most delicate yet handsome face at once#will there ever come a day when i’m no longer struck off guard by the quality of sebastian’s face?#he’s too lovely to exist in the mortal realm#if sebastian is a human he will make banks being a kpop idol#billionaires will be lining up to buy him birkins#no wonder francis said his face is inappropriate#he’s pretty enough to topple nations#ciel phantomhive is stronger than i am#this face kneels down in front of him to gently take his hand and he doesn’t immediately propose marriage?!#kuroshitsuji#black butler#sebastian michaelis#yapping
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more iterators
#wanted to try very delicate lines... maybe too delicate#rainworld#my art#oc: am#oc: fth#oc: sr#rw#rain world#iterator#rw iterator#rain world iterator#rainworld iterator#i have a pretty large backlog of art i want to post but i dont know how to do that without wrecking the dash
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ooohhg I want to post my Epitome progress... im so happy with it! the two main stars are maaaybe a little wobbly but if you're looking at them from a normal distance away they look fine, haha. I wanted the mirrors surface to have a starry background with the implication of eyes in there *_*
I've still gotta highlight, give the gems more depth, and of course handle my two daemonette attendants (i normally dont do subassembly stuff but... no way was I painting all those coils with the girls glued down. so they're on temp bases right now)
all in all coming out really good! im coming up on finishing my slaanesh warband which is exciting :]
#gutsys mini tag#The Vainguard#warhammercommunity#age of sigmar#slaanesh#miniature painting#im a little intimidated to highlight these tentacles... not because its gonna be hard. its just gonna be a Lot of delicate lines#and the coils can be pretty hard to get in and around at certain angles :p#im happy with the mirror itself tho! it was a bit freehand and kind of scary (i was worried id mess it up)#but the result is so cool. i keep looking at it and going Hell Yeah
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This was too cute, I couldn't miss the chance ;; also I like this low effort painterly style, immediacy is fun!
#my oc in symbolism#elanor cousland#kerry#ankh#ndo sta l'art tag#I gave myself like#a maximum of 5 minutes on each rectangle#the approach was similar to doodling while on the phone#no perfection just splashes of colors and a few lines if things get too confusing#...notoriously fleur de lis is a flower key to hawkes story#in kerry's case it's the only flower he can take care of#except for cauliflowers but you know what I mean lmao#flowers are too delicate for him << he prefers to grow vegetables#and berries! like tomatoes or peppers#those are his forte u-u
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Suptober [Extended] - Day 24 || Smoke
#destiel#destiel fanart#dean winchester#castiel#supernatural#spnfanart#wiggleart#suptober extended 23#so this is a repeat prompt from last year but I wanted to give it another go#I wanted to do a bonfire however I was unsure how to do the smoke so#it’s more like fire than smoke but whatever there is in fact smoke lol#I’m gonna have to figure out how to do the line art in a way where idk#idk if folks will want to draw their own smoke or if I should outlike it delicately#I’ll decide when I refine it for the book lol#they’re gossiping#the TEAAAA
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You're the weakest person there is, so I'm told.
#revolutionary girl utena#anthy himemiya#shoujo kakumei utena#my art#rgu#this is sort of a precursor to a more fleshed out illustration-y adolescence touga thing i am working on.#but i wanted to finish this first because i didnt feel like working on delicate lines at the time.#and i want to do more line+color even if its rough instead of leaving things as sketches.#but anthy is my favorite and i want to draw her happy :-( so maybe i will draw some post-canon before finishing that touga thing.#you will hopefully see that eventually. i am on an utena kick.
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Goodbye my husband original Castlevania series Alucard i guees I'll have to settle with that white washed bitch from Castlevania Nocturne and cope somehow
#I know it's more game accurate now#but i just cannot get over his whole facial structure changing#the first series artstyle will forever be my favourite#i feel like the line was thicker and sharper now it's a bit nore delicate#it's so flat and desaturated#or maybe i am schizo and ahot is still the same#castlevania netflix#castlevania#castlevania nocturne#netflix castlevania#castlevania series#alucard#alucard castlevania
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Oh man, I binged the first 20 episodes of The Princess's Jewels a few days ago after watching a few review videos on it because I had to see just how bad it actually was, and I've decided to talk more about it here.
For the entire spite-fueled four hours of reading, i kept stopping to take screenshots to send them to @the-navistar-carol and then talk about how stupid a lot of the plot points were. I jokingly called Ariana a jellyfish based on her hairstyle, and the nickname stuck after Gen said "yeah and she's like an actual jellyfish by how the trick you into getting closer because they're so pretty before paralyzing you with their stingers."
I'm putting this under a read more because, as normal, I write a lot.
We all know Jellyfish sucks, but what gets me the most is the wasted potential of the guys (among other things). They are all so! Interesting! And they befall the same fate as female harem members in that their backgrounds and personalities all get set to the wayside in favor of fawning over the MC. They all come from unique, diverse backgrounds that don't get touched up on at all. For example:
Why did Efrit wear a mask all the time when his older brother didn't? Why did he say that "he finally found the woman he was going to reveal his face to" to Abal after he met Jellyfish? Is it some kind of cultural thing for the soldiers and warriors of Xek to wear masks until they fall in love? That would explain why his brother has his face revealed, cuz he's not a warrior! Why is the second prince in charge of the country's army and not the king himself? Why did he STAY the general of the army after he fucked off to another kingdom to become the lover of a foreign state?
Why was Haun Baek taken in by the royal family? The flashback of the queen giving him a new name implies to me that he may have been a slave of some kind, which puts a lot of perspective on why so many people were against his rise to power and disliked him. He was mentioned to be a general and head of the security division of the king, but as far as chapter 21 goes, this has never been brought up again. He's the Harem Pretty Boy who does all the work in high society for Jellyfish.
Speaking of fighting -- when did Jellyfish get a thigh tattoo to summon her sword? What's the backstory behind that? It probably has something to do with the 'swordmaster' thing (which is ANOTHER thing) but when did she get it? Why was she even allowed to learn swordfighting if she came from a seemingly implied patriarchal society? More importantly -- why was everyone okay with this? Why is it only the off-screen "evil old advisors" that hate her doing this.
Are these evil old advisors in the room with us right now?
Why are Nell and his family werewolves? Where did their magic recorder ability come from? This was just seemingly a power that he had that came out of nowhere when they were looking into Benela and her family. From the videos I had assumed he was a poor family that rose into dukedom after the war, but apparently they've always been? Dukes? And the other advisors still see the family as a threat? On one hand I can see where they're coming from, but on the other I don't think the comic is portraying them as "threats" the way I think they are. Nell and his family are seemingly treated like they were commoners who suddenly rose into nobility, rather than pre-existing nobility that fell onto hard times.
I want to know more about Jade and the fact that he's from a holy house from an entirely different country -- i cannot believe Ariana got away with that btw. Like im not even touching the gross overreach of power that is her demanding a noble not of her kingdom to be castrated, but more so on the fact that she practically coerced and stole a descendant of a saint and faced?? No backlash from this? None whatsoever? The gods and the people just let her get away with it because oh, it's an honor for this snobby empirical princess to come in and steal one of their chosen saintly descendants all because his dad pissed her off?
Like I agree that the dad was a scumbag, but Ariana calling him out on it is like the pot calling the kettle black.
Also, I wish Benela and her family were a bigger threat than TJP claims they are. Like, this is apparently the emperor's favored concubine who stole the love of the emperor away from the empress and successfully murdered the crown prince without getting caught. She's apparently some master manipulator but Jellyfish faces no trouble thwarting her at every turn. So what is it? Is she a master manipulator or is she a dunce? Or is the emperor just an idiot who doesn't care about his sons because with the way he treats them, you'd think they were bastard children.
The banquet "queen heel syndrome" scene gets me especially so because that was a good fucking plan!
Benela's plan to reveal and shine a light on Jellyfish's harem and how it was negatively impacting her image and high society was a good plan! That was brilliant! Because it had basis of truth in it. I don't know if the queen heel syndrome thing was a false rumor, or something she deliberately fabricated -- the comic never actually goes out of it's way to disprove it. In fact, I'd argue the QHS thing is *backed* by it, because just a few chapters prior when we first meet Benela, there's a side comment made by a noble woman about how her daughter was chasing after some man she was infatuated with.
But what I do know is that Jellyfish has been disgraceful towards her fiancé and that she has been indulging in her harem. By all accounts, by the implied societal standards of Arbezela or Azkaban, Jellyfish is being a whore. I am not one for mindlessly slut-shaming, but sometimes slut-shaming IS okay if it has a narrative purpose. And it does here. And Jellyfish doesnt even disprove any of their arguments, in fact she does a 1st grade level deflection and instead goes right for insulting Bavilo's lack of marriage prospects, which wasn't what they were talking about at all.
I'd applaud the deflection if it wasn't Ariana doing it, and if it wasn't such a serious and valid accusation that Benela and her family were making.In any other manhwa, this would have worked. This would have damaged Ariana's reputation, and it should've had some actual consequences to it. Instead they completely skip over this plot because the author knows that Ariana has no defense, she can't talk or excuse her way out because regardless of the truth behind the Queen Heel Syndrome, the fact remains what she is doing is inherently shameful.
Like! I am so mad that their scheme didn't work, because it! Was! A! Good scheme! All the best lies have some part of the truth in it, and Ariana should not have been able to weasel herself out of that so easily. In fact, the fact that she did just makes the emperor look like an even bigger incompetent.
Wanna know how this ended? It ended with the emperor blowing up at Bavilo because Bavilo said that he "could make it to the top on his own without the help of talented subordinates" and the emperor perceived that as a slight against him because, apparently, Bavilo was claiming to be heir to the throne? When nowhere in that sentence did Bavilo even so much as say or imply such a thing?
and also--- WHY is it such a bad thing that he's claiming to be vying for the heir seat? It's empty! The Emperor hasn't announced a new successor yet, of course Bavilo would say he wanted to be the crown prince. Nothing that Bavilo said was insulting towards anyone, and was actually quite admirable.
What gets me too is that right after this chapter, the empress claims that the princes are "illegitimate children" because they're the sons of concubines, and that if they were chosen for the role of "carrier of the light" people would question their parentage-- ???
First of all, not at all how concubines work. Concubines are a legitimate role in a harem structure and quite literally their job is to produce more heirs for the throne as back-ups in case something happens to the Heir Apparent. Like that's literally their job. They are official members of the royal palace, to claim that their children aren't legitimate is to claim that they're merely mistresses, not concubines. This was both an insult to the concubines AND the emperor.
Like my god I do not have the time to go into all of the plot holes of this webtoon. I haven't even gone into the total lack of consequences Ariana experiences both politically and socially, and how all of the interesting conflict happens off screen, nor the blatant racism and misogyny present throughout the webtoon, NOR the absolute SHIT worldbuilding.
#ariana de secramise#i cannot BELIEVE i remembered her full name right off the top of my head#the princess's jewels#the princess jewels#haun baek#efrit karsia#jade meldea#anti the princess's jewels#nell phantom#i love you haun baek my man you deserve more screen time and depth beyond 'pretty asian boy stereotype'. ur fight with ariana was so cool#nell phantom you deserve better than a girl who immediately forces you to wear a collar and publicly kissed you in front of a crowd#efrit karsia you are so cool i wish i got to learn more about why you wear a mask and why you are the way that you are#jade meldea you're the only fucking sane man in that goddamn harem you go boo escape the jewel box. gotta love his intense disgust for 🪼#raymond amber i dont actually have any thoughts on you i didnt even realize you had a first name for six chapters. thats also because you'r#literally the only person in the harem called by a 'jewel' name rather than your actual name. why did she call you LEMON?#ur last name is literally amber there that's a jewel name right there.#if i was benela i would've used the emperor's favor for ariana against her bc the man literally coddles her to death. i'd feed into his#delusions about Ariana being his sweet delicate princess who needs to be protected and how oh so mad the other nobles are at ariana for#corrupting their daughters. and dear emperor wouldn't it be better for ariana to stay in the palace for a while? send her jewels back to#their kingdoms until the rumors about ariana's lecherous personality dies down? and bc the emperor is a fucking idiot he'd fall for it#hook line and damn sinker. boom. ariana's been cut off at the knees bc her harem was doing all the hard work for her and now she actually#has to make an effort into doing things HERSELF and also change her dad's mind about her bc he sees her as nothing more than a delicate and#hapless maiden who needs to be protected by daddy's big strong arms.#like no wonder you cant just ask to be the emperor ariana. your dad doesn't see you as a capable adult.#starry's spite reads
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One day I’m going to finish that essay or whatever it was in my drafts that’s about the themes of womanhood/relationships/thirtysomething stuff and TTPD but since part of this discussion has been revived on the dash but also it’s Saturday so this won’t ruffle as many feathers, I think one thing that sometimes gets lost in the shuffle in the conversation about the muses and stories in the lyrics is just why the recurring theme of the broken dreams pops up all over the album, and why they permeate the discussion of both muses, if not *all* the muses in the album.
Not to project things on Taylor, but it feels pretty clear to me* that the dreams she’s talking about specifically are about having a family, and that is the through line in the album, and why the successive blows devastated her. (*I don’t want to presume that anyone else feels this way and this is just my interpretation etc.)
The suburban gothic allegory in Fortnight depicting a miserable, lonely marriage. The ring on the ring finger in TTPD making her explode with joy because it was a shorthand for lifelong commitment. “He saw forever so he smashed it up” in My Boy. “I’m pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free” and dying on the sacrificial altar in So Long London. Marrying her wild boy in But Daddy. “Get the matches, toss the ashes off the ledge” in Fresh Out the Slammer (as in, she burned her life down). “You shit-talked me under the table talking rings and talking cradles” in loml. “The deflation of our dreaming leaving me bereft and reeling” in How Did It End. “Promises ocean deep and never to keep” in Peter. The allusion in The Manuscript that the man in question made her think he was in it for the potential of a serious commitment only for her to feel used when he moved on. And there are probably more examples I’m not thinking of off the top of my head here.
But what I’m trying to get at delicately is that from what she’s put down in TTPD, as well as what she’s put down in previous albums (“give you my wild, give you my child,” Paper Rings, Lover, renegade, YLM, etc.) building a life and a family with this person (Joe) was not only something she wanted, but seemingly deliberately planning and working towards. So in the death throes of the relationship, her grief was not just about things like losing someone she once loved, the breakdown of this relationship that was once comforting to her, what she gave up to make their life work, etc. but about this important thing she had dreamed of and what she seemed to feel was on the horizon. What I think I’m trying to say is that it had likely shifted at some point (even just based on the album pipeline) from a hypothetical “one day we’ll have ten kids and teach them how to dream” thing you wonder about with a partner to something that felt a lot more… tangible. (Again trying to be sensitive in my word choice/not project or assume things etc.)
I don’t want to make any accusations or assumptions on main, but I think those kind of life plans feeling within reach not only makes it understandable as to why someone would stay in a relationship whose cracks were turning into fault lines, but on the flip side why giving up on something that felt like it was on their doorstep would be so wholly devastating.
But it’s also why what happened in the two successive relationships *was* so devastating in the songs on the album, and why the Matty thing specifically was so twisted. He’d reentered her life and he’d insinuated himself back into her circle and gained her confidence which in turn led her to confide things in him (the “hostile takeovers” of it all, the whole bridge of The Smallest Man with its honey pot spy mission imagery in which like a mark he sweet talked her into sharing her most vulnerable, compromising “secrets” only to then turn it around to use her and ghost her like a trained operative). And given the way the family thing appears in both presumed storylines, it’s again because Muse #2 used the info gleaned about the life with Muse #1 to sell her a con about an alternate path to what she was mourning so deeply. (And why it’s such an unconscionable act because it’s manipulation, at least going by her own words about her experience of it. It’s as cavalier as the organ donor line in The Manuscript, with the same effect.)
The shittalking about rings and cradles is both of them (if not all of them) because in all cases, they ended up raising her hopes only to not plan on following through. One because he maybe couldn’t commit, one because maybe he was never serious about it. (And the one who did it first who was both 🥴.)
If I had to guess (because I am not Taylor so I will obviously never know any of this for sure besides picking up context clues), the dream was like a carrot dangling in her mind, feeling like this is what the “agony” to quote another one of her songs was for — like, things may be hard, but life is hard, and at least they were building towards *something* she felt they both wanted. And as that dream slipped through her fingers, it created a cascading series of events that crippled her emotionally for a time. So when she mourns that life in her songs, it’s almost like it’s the same dream, just in shifting contexts. The conman selling her dream back to her is comforting at first, but hits doubly hard and leaves her broke when it disappears.
The story throughout the muses on the album isn’t “she jumps to the person who promises her these things,” it’s that it’s a whole life she’s built that crumbles under the weight of reality knocking at the door and a foundation that shifts until it disintegrates. And losing that foundation and the dreams built upon it leaves her searching for answers in the wreckage — and looking elsewhere for clarity for a time. And it’s why it’s so hard to remove one muse from the other (or again, all of them), because that central driving force is used by each of them in different ways to build her up and take her down. And why working through the pain of one situation bleeds into that of another.
It’s hard to delve into this more without crossing boundaries or whatever, but it’s just such a palpable open wound in the album, but also why working through the pain in different contexts on TTPD brings to light all these different kinds of hurt but also the emotions that go along with them.
Anyway. That other essay will write itself at some point idk.
#I’m trying to word this very delicately and sensitively#without making it seem like I’m prying or speculating#which is why I’m trying to base this off the music#but it’s a fine line to tread because I think there’s probably a deeper discussion to be had but probably not fit for main#the starting a family thing is like. one of the main if not the main thing that jumps out at me in the album#and i think is what drives a lot of the themes on the album#that is such a powerful thing in a relationship *especially* for women in some contexts#and to me that is the like… inciting incident of the whole chain of events#and I could say more about what that makes me think but that may veer too much into speculation and parasocialism so i shan’t#writing letters addressed to the fire#the tortured poets department#the talking rings and talking cradles thing is just like… the centre of it all i think#because it’s woven through everything
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something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.
“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”
#makoto naegi#Danganronpa character analysis#Danganronpa#danganronpa thh#danganronpa future arc#I fucking love Makoto Naegi man.#I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known#he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said#he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky#he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did#if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world.#he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done#and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend.#I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though#post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do#it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to#and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc#he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions#I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse#and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate#and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable.#honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually#I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself#that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels#it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it#it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic#anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for#the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!
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aaaaaaaaaaa I have an aptitude test for a tutoring job on Monday wish me luck
#not smath or pass#I've got a TA job lined up for sure that starts in February and lasts till June but that's only 8 hours a week#and I think my parents are gonna price my rent as though I were working much more#not to mention car insurance and gas and saving for tuition for after I transfer#so I really really need this job#please god I don't want to fall back on the swim instructor job#my delicate constitution cannot survive the toddler piss pool
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Last Line Challenge
Rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you feel like).
I got tagged by!! @chiliger @marbled-polecat and @cacodaemonia !!! (last week)
I’m working like mad on May the Whump be with you and I’ve been Undecided. Do I go big waterlogged eyes or Defiant Sassy Bitch? And I realized, he contains multitudes, so both. Last line was making the eyebrow angy.
No pressure tags: @elismor @threebea @dontbelasagnax @omaano @lothcatthree @anstarwar @foreverchangingfandomsao3 @forloveofcodywan @bluemaskedkarma @snowywinterevenings @tired-bshocked @happybean17
All pressure tags: @elwenyere
#last line challenge#my wips#can’t wait to put the most delicate#white dots of reflection on the Tears In His Eyes#scalp sensitivity is a Thing 😭
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‘Rose, oh roses, grant me my wish. Blooming from the stone, the Golden Rose sang to me.’
“An exiled scholar once cultivated these roses specifically to survive the desert.…but something so special should be regarded alongside someone worthy of its beauty. Delicate, yet strong. For your personal archives….”
“personal archives” because my s/i is an archivist at the akademiya, and now here it is in our teapot bedroom muahaha
#⋆.༦࿑ོ⁺ 𓂃 𝓳𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓶#i was so blown away when i got this back ueue i adore it#ft. the golden rose like from the desert quest hehe i have it in our room in my teapot too (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ#okie stop here if u don't wanna read my ss rambling#//////////#im vry much a romantic & luv to be charmed n whisked away into something wonder-filled n spectacular n grand#but i also like tht this is not … That …. and was instead nurtured from smthg small#i wld say im fun n flirty but only when there are no real feelings on the line otherwise i am TERRIBLE at expressing that lolz#so i think these quiet hours reserved just for us are so delicate n special becus#mayb there IS no need to hide n tht is what makes these moments so intrinsically intimate to meeee !#but i think the Years long span going from akademiya era rivals -> friends -> post-aq lovers is what makes it so perservering#growing strong enough tht the roots have crawled n curled n dug its way into every corner of our hearts ♡#this was ridiculously soft *throws up* bye#illustrated by mozzachiz on twitter ♡
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