#Irresponsible Use Of Fire Magic

[blueteller]

Halour, I'm kinda curious... What crimes have Cale done, exactly? I see a number of "crime list" videos about him but the wiki don't really confirm anything💀

— 🌄

...The Time Has Come. 😌

I have long promised this list, so perfect timing! Thank you very much for this question! Allow me to introduce you to:

Cale Henituse's Crime List

(Just for the fun of it, I tried to give a different example for every single one of these. Some events repeat, but not the crimes!)

1) Accessibility of Records for Tax Department

Cale looted significant amounts of money from the Magic Tower and many other places, without leaving any legal trace.

2) Affray

Multiple occasions, like pretty much everything that happened in the Molden Kingdom.

3) Aggravated Assault

Cale rarely gets physically involved in a fight, but I think suddenly strangling Prince Adin qualifies.

4) Aggravated Burglary

Every single time "Real Arm" is in business.

5) Allowing Dog or Cat To Be a Nuisance

How else would you call encouraging your animal shape-shifting kids to be involved in criminal activity? Also Fluffy the Puppy was under Cale's command even if he technically belonged to Princess Jopis, I say it totally counts.

6) Ammunition – Possessing, Acquiring or Carrying

Cale intentionally pocketed magic bombs from the Plaza Terror Incident and used them later on.

7) Animal Cruelty

...Does Cale subjecting On to his "nice act" in front of Litana counts? Oh it definitely counts. That poor child.

8) Armed Robbery

That time Cale & co. robbed the Mercenary Guilds in Leeb-An City, for instance.

9) Arson

Setting the Wind Island on fire.

10) Assaulting or Resisting Police

That time Cale & co. went to Sez Kingdom. Pretty sure the knights trying to stop them from kidnapping the king counts as "resisting law enforcement".

11) Being Disguised With Unlawful Intent

Priest Cale in a nutshell.

12) Blackmail

That time Cale talked to Antonio Gyerre.

13) Breaking and Entering

Cale coming to the Sekka Estate.

14) Careless Driving

Debatable since a fantasy world doesn't own cars – but. I count Cale breaking through walls of a maze on a mother-effing Stone Imugi as "irresponsible driving". Just think of what kind of example you're setting for the kids, Cale!

15) Carrying a Loaded Firearm in Public

Cale has Raon following him everywhere, so.....?

16) Carrying Out Plumbing Work Without License or Registration

Cale has an underground villa in the Forest of Darkness. I'm pretty sure whatever construction work they did there would count as illegal.

17) Carrying Out Work Without a Building Permit

Cale had Dragons teleport an entire castle into the Forest of Darkness. Yet again, involves a building with no legal paperwork.

18) Causing Injury Intentionally

Obviously. Like making fiery lightning bolt strike in the middle of an Elf Village attack. Or hitting a radish with a rock.

19) Collecting or Making Documents Likely to Facilitate Terrorist Acts

Everything involving Knight Rex after he became a terrorist.

20) Conspiracy

Cale and Alberu talking about anything.

21) Control of Body Armor

After reading it up, I decided that mana disruption device ABSOLUTELY falls into this category.

22) Control and Use of Dangerous Articles

Cale adopting pretty much everyone on his team.

23) Corrupting Benefits Received By Commonwealth Public Official

Cale using Alberu's golden plaque to trap the White Star with Embrace. I mean, if being infected with that clown doesn't count as corruption, I don't know what does.

24) Cultivation of Narcotic Plants

Cale letting Hong eat plants in the Forest of Darkness. It IS, in his own words, his own backyard.

25) Dangerous Non-Guard Dog Attacks or Bites a Person or Animal with Person in Control

Cale letting Choi Han beat up Adin. ...Well, Choi Han COULD be counted as a Guard Dog, but. They never formalized the paperwork? I say it counts since Choi Han isn't legally registered!

26) Dealing With Property Suspected of Being Proceeds of Crime

Cale renting a house from Odeus Flynn.

27) Dealing With Property Which Subsequently Becomes an Instrument of Crime

Cale buying the Magic Tower before he proceeds to kidnap Mueller.

28) Delaying the Entry of Police

Cale not letting the law enforcement know about the Plaza Terror Incident beforehand. Also, activating the mana disruption device, knowing it would hinder their efforts to stop terrorism. ...Yes Cale & co. prevented said terrorism better on their own but it still counts.

29) Deliberately Omitting Information

Cale making an Vow of Death to Choi Han claiming that he can't tell him anything.

30) Destroying, Damaging and/or Interfering with Any Works of a Water Corporation

Setting the Lake of God's Tears on fire.

31) Destroying or Damaging Property

Cale destroying houses in the Gyerre territory.

32) Destruction of Evidence

Cale and Raon blowing up Hais Island 5 to cover up Ron's infiltration.

33) Directing the Activities of a Terrorist Organization

Cale's entire career in a nutshell, really.

34) Discharge Missile to Endanger Person or Property

Cale blowing up the whirlpools in the Ubarr territory.

35) Dishonestly Cause a Loss

Cale tricking the White Star into the abandoned underground city.

36) Disturbing Religious Worship

Cale messing with the Sun God's Church for being mean to Mary.

37) Driving an Unregistered Vehicle

Cale & co. using Mary's bone Dragon.

38) Drunkards Behaving in Riotous or Disorderly Manner

Cale pretending to be drunk in the Gyerre territory.

39) Endangering Safety of Aircraft

Cale letting his allies abroad an airship during the Jungle battle.

40) Entering a Place Without Authority or Lawful Excuse

Cale rescuing Raon.

41) Extortion With Threats to Destroy Property

Cale threatening the slave traffickers in the Gyerre territory.

42) Failure to Notify the Authorities of Criminal Activity

Cale doesn't notify Alberu of crap, unless it's to make him clean-up the aftermath.

43) Failure to Register a Pet

Pretty sure Cale registered exactly none of his allies. ...Except maybe the Tiger Tribe that one time they moved into Harris Village with Deruth's permission. Everyone else? Not a chance.

44) Falsifying or Concealing Identity

Cale acting as Naru von Ejellan in Endable Kingdom.

45) Forgery of Documents

Cale and Taylor faking an ancient document to fool the White Star.

46) Fraud

Cale promising Plavin Singten benefits for siding with the new Sun Church.

47) Getting Funds To, From, or For a Terrorist Organization

Cale sponsoring his allies, like giving Rosalyn magic stones.

48) Going Equipped for Stealing

Cale making Real Arm uniform.

49) Handling Stolen Goods

Cale using Divine Items.

50) Identity Theft

Cale introducing himself as Bob.

51) Indecent Assault

Cale telling Choi Han to strip that one time. (Yes, it actually happened. ...Not the way shippers wished for, obviously.)

52) Inducement to Be Appointed Liquidator

Cale helping Princess Jopis overthrow her sister on the condition of benefits for the Roan Kingdom.

53) Insider Trading

Cale selling Alberu dead mana from a Dragon.

54) Intentionally or Recklessly Causing a Bushfire

Cale setting that bush monster on fire in Xiaolen.

55) Introduction of a Drug of Dependence Into the Body of Another Person

Cale letting Rosalyn drink coffee on Earth 3.

56) Kidnapping

Cale & co. capturing Venion Stan.

57) Leaving Children Without Supervision

Cale letting the kids look for Mueller.

58) Lighting of Fires in the Open Air

Cale using Fire of Destruction against Sky Attribute.

59) Loitering Near Schools

Cale & the kittens in the Sez Kingdom.

60) Loitering With Intent to Commit an Indictable Offence

Cale letting Clopeh Sekka spot him that first time.

61) Manslaughter

Cale letting Choi Han, Rosalyn and Lock go and destroy the Archduke's Estate.

62) Membership of a Terrorist Organization

Cale making up Real Arm.

63) Murder

Cale killing the White Star.

64) Negligent Manslaughter

Cale letting Ron go on a vacation.

65) Non-dangerous Dog Attacks

Cale letting Choi Han spar with Hilsman.

66) Obtaining Property By Deception

Litana giving Cale free stuff.

67) Offences Connected With Explosive Substances

Cale commissioning Eruhaben to create Dragon's Rage.

68) Other Acts Done in Preparation for, or Planning, Terrorist Acts

Every morning Cale drinks lemon tea.

69) Possessing More Fish Than the Catch Limit

Cale dealing with Whales. ...Whales are fish, what are you talking about?

70) Possessing Controlled Weapon, Housebreaking Implements, and Things Connected With Terrorist Attacks

Everything Cale owns in the Super Rock Villa.

71) Possession of Precursor Chemicals

Cale making Billos buy alchemy ingredients.

72) Prohibited Weapons

Cale utilizing the Dragon Bones in battle.

73) Providing or Receiving Training Connected With Terrorist Acts

Cale letting his people train in his backyard.

74) Public Nuisance

Cale letting Choi Han act.

75) Reckless Conduct Endangering Life and/or Endangering Serious Injury

Cale every time he uses his Ancient Powers.

76) Recruiting for a Terrorist Organization

Cale adopting the Tiger Tribe.

77) Robbery

Stealing magic stones from the Alchemy Towers.

78) Sabotage

Cale going behind the Empire's back while he helps out the Whipper Kingdom.

79) Setting Traps to Kill

Cale Ghost Operation during the sea battle against the Indomitable Alliance.

80) Smuggling

Cale helping Cage and Taylor into capital.

81) Stalking

Cale entering Alberu's bedroom whenever he wants.

82) Stating False Name When Requested

Cale never letting anyone know about the transmigration and calling himself Cale Henituse.

83) Tax Evasion

Willful tax evasion for sudden wealth increase.

84) Terrorist Acts

Cale & co. detonating a bomb at Maple Castle.

85) Theft

Cale obtaining the blood drinking crown.

86) Threats to Inflict Serious Injury

Cale & co. threatening King Bakehe.

87) Threats to Kill

Cale cheerfully informing Adin he's going to personally kill him.

88) Torture and Interrogation

Cale ordering Beacrox to deal with the Magic Spearman.

89) Unauthorized Access to Restricted Data

Cale & co. coming to the Directory. ...Yes Bud was the Mercenary King so technically it was legal, except from the Mercenary Guild's perspective, it was break and entering.

80) Unlawful Assembly

Cale hanging out with Dragons.

81) Unlawful Oaths to Commit Treason

Cale promising to destroy the Alchemy Belltower to Rei Stecker.

82) Unlicensed Driving

Cale riding Dark Tiger Alberu.

83) Willful Damage

Cale employing Archie to destroy Duke Sekka's statues.

Any other crimes I forgot to list? Let me know!

***

BONUS CONTENT

With the help of others, we've expanded the original list of Cale's crimes!

84) Aiding and Hiding Fugitives

Cale helping out Hannah and Jack.

85) Aircraft Hijacking

Cale & co. taking over the Empire's airships.

86) Being an Accessory to Crimes

All Cale's deals with Billos in a nutshell.

87) Child Labor Law Violation

Cale making children work for their meals. Even if he's actually just adopting strays under the guise of formal work, said formal work is still illegal. Just admit you care, you weirdo.

88) Defamation

Cale spreading recordings of Adin being evil acros the Empire.

89) Deliberate Damage and/or Destruction of Currency

Cale happily throwing coins into lava.

90) Ecoterrorism

Wiping whole islands off the map counts as severe destruction of the environment.

91) Fly-tipping/Littering

Cale casually defenestrating Adin. Watch where you throw garbage, Cale. There are trash bins for a reason!

92) Harassment

Cale ordering Beacrox to beat up mountain bandits.

93) Illegal Detention/Imprisonment

Capturing prisoners of war, like the Dragon Half-Blood or the Flame Dwarves.

94) Illegal Goods Trade

Cale selling and buying items at the Caro Kingdom Auction.

95) Impersonation

Cale pretending to be different people in the Indignity Test.

96) Intentional Destruction of Cultural Heritage

Cale setting the Lake of God's Tears on Fire. Also, blowing up the Magic Tower.

97) Plunder of Public Property

Cale & co. destroying the walls of the capital of the Empire.

98) Trafficking Endangered Plants Accross Borders

Cale transporting the Fake World Tree in his badge.

99) Treason of the Crown

Cale treating his Hyung-nim with utter disrespect, such as comparing the Shining Sun of the Kingdom to a squirrel.

100) Trespassing

Cale in Endable Kingdom.

BONUS BONUS CONTENT

Not technically illegal, but:

101) Crime Against One's Well-Being

Cale abusing his health in such horrific ways even a regeneration power cannot keep up with him.

102) Crime Against Fashion

Cale preferring only black and plain clothes when he could look good in anything.

103) Crime of Self-Delusion

Cale thinking he still has a chance at slacker life.

104) Spreading Misinformation

Cale's track record of causing misunderstandings everywhere he goes is frankly terrifying.

105) THAT FACE

Cale's fabulous looks are a crime in of itself. It deserves a spot on the list.

[originalwinnerfanfish]

Well, it was a big piece of work, hah

I took a break from RW and decided to draw something nostalgic

Actually I've been stuck with this idea for two years now and I'm glad I finally found the strength to do something about it. Thanks for inspiration from one good man)

Long story short

In this AU autobots and deceptions are two unions of different tribes: mudwings, seawings and sandwings for the firsts and icewings, nightwings, rainwings and Pantala tribes for seconds. Skywings doesn’t exist anymore (because we need someone who takes place of predacons).

People are just people or scavenger if you prefer. And instead of whole cosmos it’s just two mainlands.

- Optimus Prime - I kinda like tfp Optimus. So formidable, powerful and mysterious but really gentle at the same time. And mud/sea combo works here in the best way. As the representation of two main tribes union and strong father/brother figure for team members.

I also think he might be an animus (but don’t use his magic often, especially for killing someone)

- Ultra Magnus - Pure Icewing already will be great for him, but I gave him part of seawing so he could be more like an Optimus. But instead of being softer and warmer, Magnus is more cold and pragmatic version of him. A character who sees other dragons not as close allies and friends but as ordinary soldiers.

- Ratchet - Yeah, the seawing would fit him better, but i just don’t know how to make the colors work here sooo… he’s a weak-fire mudwing. Like a skywing, but mudwing. Why not. Make sense with his lack of guns in origin. I think he’s design can be better, and maybe I’ll remake it.

I love his arc of recognizing people as equals and especially his interactions with Raphael. I think Ratchet often read him scrolls about history and magical artifacts.

- Bulkhead - No surprises here - mudwing fit him perfectly. I think that the Wreckers could been a big and strong mudwing troops, and Bulkhead was a bigwings in such a one. He is lost a lot of his siblings during the war, and therefore tries with all his might to protect the new members of his family. I absolutely adore his relationship with Miko and Jackie, so for me he’s one of the cutest character, and I tried to make his forms round and soft.

- Bumblebee - I know that majority draw him as a hivewing, but in that case the most logical for him will be a night/sandwing. Literally, autobots get their own Sunny)

I think in this version with his lack of a voice he could communicate using sign language or some variation of aquatic.

- Arcee - Also nothing special - she is a seawing. I originally wanted to give her a helmet but it was too hard to draw. Just like Sunny she was born pretty small and now even younger dragons can be bigger than her. I’m pretty sure she is old enough to have seen Bumblebee when he was a dragonet, so she's literally like an older sister to him.

Actually she really gives me a Queen Glory vibes with her sarcasm and dangerous beauty, so rainwing might fit her as well.

- Smokescreen - I used to think he was just a cringe, but now I realize he's a pretty interesting and realistic character. Like Ultra Magnus, I wanted to make him look like Optimus, only this time Smoke is more of a younger and much more irresponsible version of him. I think in this version (being part rainwing) he's trying to mimic Optimus's coloring using same red, blue and pale-gray shades.

- Wheeljack - The scruffy boy! I think in this version he could be Bulkhead's "adopted sibling", so they are really close to each other. And, because he spent most of his life with Bulkhead, it's harder for him to get close to other tribes and dragons.

Painting scales to keep canonical colors is kinda cheating, but for this dude it totally works. He should have a pretty bright appearance with all those scars and bright spots.

Cliffjumper - Ohoh… this poor guy. I didn't even think of putting him here, but I like his smug face too much. Even making his scales darker than the original, it's still too brightly colored for mudwing. He probably jokes about it a lot, saying that his ancestors were skywings.

I really like his dynamic with Arcee, and it's a shame we haven't seen much of their relationship. I think I need to do something cute about that.

[batchilla]

Chapter One - Till Death Do Us Part

Till death do us part. The words swim in Jason’s mind as he lays in bed beside you, the wedding band heavy on his finger, a once comforting weight now seeming to burn, as though the metal of your shared promise made manifest was burning the very flesh of his hand, stoked by a fire of guilt and worry. 

Till death do us part. 

Sometimes, he had wondered how he got so lucky, how you could be so foolish as to pick him. 

He was scared, he was broken, he had done terrible things. He didn’t deserve anyone as good as you. As kind. As … forgiving. He might have deserved you once - he had met you a lifetime ago, a bright eyed boy wonder still growing into his mantle as Robin, a teenage Jason Todd so sure he could change the world, because he was Robin, and Robin made him magic, a force for the better. Maybe that version of him deserved you. But that boy is long dead. 

Till death do us part. 

Except you hadn’t. He had died. You were parted. Yet when he came back, there you were. Reaching out a hand of love and understanding as soon as you knew who he (as the Red Hood) was. Batman - No, it was a personal, emotional call - Bruce. Bruce had called you in, because if anyone could help pull him out of the spiral he’d been in, you could. You did. You didn’t save him - no one person did. His family did, and he did. 

Till death do us part.

You were family, he’d realised. His rock. His best friend. A title that felt utterly shallow compared to what you were to him. Roy became his best friend… and you his world. His family. You were more than just his girlfriend… and after a proposal on the snowy grounds of Wayne manor on christmas morning, his fiance, and then his wife… Until the day the doctor confirmed your pregnancy, you had made up the whole of his world, which only grew when little Mary was born. 

Till death do us part. 

You’d always known the risks. Even when you were kids, when he was still Robin, rescuing you every few weeks when your mothers position as a judge got you in hot water, you had been aware of how much worse falling for him could make things for you, and you had fallen regardless.  You knew when you first held his hand and kissed his cheek, first been spotted by the Gotham paparazzi with a Wayne, first helped stitch him back together after a patrol gone wrong, you knew the risks. To him, and to you. You might be used against him. He might not come home one day. 

Till death do us part.

Jason turns to his side, watching you sleep. You looked so happy. So peaceful. You looked like you knew you were safe - and you were. He’d die again before anyone touched you. Either of you. 

He stands, slowly and quietly, so as not to wake you as he creeps down the hall to the nursery, where Mary lays sleeping. The room is glowing faintly green from the glow in the dark decals on the wall, and the unicorn nightlight by the bed illuminates her sleeping face. He doesn’t lift her out of the tiny, child size bed - she was a light sleeper, and given she was rather energetic, getting her to sleep again would be difficult, as tempting as it was to hold her in his arms, never to let go. 

He’d cried when you told him, and when he held her for the first time - and quite a few subsequent times. She had grown so much, and yet she was still so small. So small. A sad smile comes to Jason’s face. His little cherub… his baby girl… he’d never, ever forgive himself for what happened today.  

Till death do us part. You both had wanted this. He had wanted a family with you. In his dreams, Mary would be the first of at least three. Maybe when they were older they’d take up their own mantles - maybe they’d live normal lives. He’d adore them regardless. He’d watch his kids thrive as he didn’t get to until Bruce. He’d be the father he never had, loving and attentive, and thanks to his … previous extra legal activity and Bruce’s habit of spending his billions irresponsibly when it came to his kids, they’d want for nothing.  You’d move to a city a little safer for raising kids.  He’d retire the Red Hood when you both got older and you insisted, protesting, but secretly glad to finally be able to spend his evenings curled up by the fire with you. Maybe he’d write a book. Maybe he’d get a dog. There were a dozen maybes that were each as lovely as the last, but the only certainty he’d known for this beautiful future he’d dreamt up is you’d be at his side. 

Till death do us part, afterall. He’d meant his vow, just as you had meant yours.

Today, that had changed. Roman Sionis had changed it. It had been a standard patrol, when a man in a dark suit approached. Best Jason could tell, which really meant the best Oracle could tell, was the man was a PI, a civilian. That plausible deniability on whether or not he truly understood who exactly had paid him was the only reason he was still breathing. It had been a close call. 

The man had handed Jason an envelope, inside it a blurry photograph. 

It was you, sitting near the window of the penthouse apartment Bruce had given Jason and you as a wedding gift, feeding Mary. A message scrawled in black ink on the back lists your name, your place of work, and a musing that it would be a terrible thing for an example to be made out of a pair of innocents if the Red Hood couldn’t stop sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong. 

Jason still wanted that life. Roman Sionis had made it clear it could never be. 

He’d kill him. Code be damned, no one threatens his wife and child. 

But that would take time, time where you and Mary would be in danger. 

 You had known the risks, on one level. Both of you had. But when it became real, no longer theoretical…

Staring down at his sleeping daughter, Jason makes a choice.

The next morning when he drops Mary off with Alfred at the manor, so he knows she’s safe, and so that you too can properly talk, without needing to worry about her while you have what is surely to be the worst morning of either of your lives. “Thrilled as I am to see the young miss,” Alfred says, taking the bottle bag, Diaper bag, stroller, cuddly robin toy and the child that bears his mothers name, handling the sudden handoff with deft proficiency, “Might I suggest master todd that if you and Ms Todd wish for alone time you kindly call ahead?” On another day he might have laughed, but not today. 

His shoulders slump ever so slightly, and he shakes his head. “Not exactly that kind of alone time Pennyworth.”

Seeing the look on Jason's face, Alfred quickly hands little Mary off to a passing Cass, ushering Jason into the kitchen and pressing a cup of tea into his hands. “What’s happened lad?” It rushes out of him like word vomit, like bile forcing its way up his throat as he recounts it all. 

The photo. Roman. The threat. As long as you are with him, as long as he is in Mary’s life, as long as Roman Sionis is alive, you can never be safe. How he needs to divorce you, and how he needs Bruce’s help, Barbra's help, hell, Dick’s help, everyone's help, to make the story convincing enough for Roman, and how he has no idea how the fuck he’s going to tell you. 

He hopes desperately to be scolded that he’s being dramatic. For Alfred to say something pompous about how he’d be a fool to do this. The way Alfred instead rises from his seat at the table and pulls him into a hug, is the final nail in the coffin for that hope, as Jason cries into his grandfather’s shoulder. 

[secret-smut-sideblog]

Supine Bound

Gale x F! Tav

18+ tension, crossed signals, embarrassment, voyeurism (m&f), masturbation (m&f), restraint, body caging, dirty talk, roughness, domGale, oral (m&f), improper use of mage hand, Gale being a menace, some silliness a lil tenderness ayo, porn w/o plot

With Tav believing she's crossed a boundary of intimacy twice with Gale, she invites the wizard to get some retribution...

Masterlist

-

"Gods, I'm not that short." Tav planted her hands on her hips, giving Gale a mock glare.

"Notice that you had to look up to give me that withering look." The warm tease in his voice making her heart flutter involuntarily.

"Should I call over Halsin to give some input?" She trilled, smiling wider at the narrow in his eyes.

"Oh pish posh," He waved his hand impassively. "That elf is an outlier. It would be academically irresponsible to include him in our data."

"Our data, huh?"

His cheeks flushed the slightest pink.

Tav raised her eyes in memory, giving a puzzled look.

"I don't even remember applying for a grant to fund our research..."

He let out a small bark of laughter, her smile curling triumphantly at making him break first.

"Oh, there is a very neat magic trick people my stature can perform. Wanna see?"

He nodded, giving her an bemused smile.

She leaned down conspiratorially, him following her down. Crouching down quickly, she angled her shoulder under his hips, standing and flipping him onto her back.

"Up you go!" She cheered, bracing the hinge of his hip with one hand. Starting to walk through camp at a jaunty pace.

He laughed loudly, a joyful burst. Going mock limp as she trotted him around their small world.

"Oh, good catch!" Karlach called through a mouthful of apple. "Wizards are slippery! Hold on tight!"

"Ew, why...?" Astarion reeled.

"Guys, I'm trying to make a delivery, do you mind?" Tav huffed, putting a hand on her waist and popping her hip out.

"Of course, of course. Boy deliveries are very time sensitive, don't want him to spoil." Karlach nodded sagely.

Gale's giggle against Tav's back making her bottom lip curl to not smile.

Astarion put down his mending with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Oh! Hells, I've gotta go! He's getting unruly!" Tav's voice spiking in fear as Gale kicked his feet happily.

Tav took very careful steps to the turquoise tent, the night song of insects rising in the reeds. Fire crackling low, cleared plates piled, ready to be river tended.

"And here you are." She crouched down, attempting to ease him by the waist off of her shoulder. Gale only going fully limp.

"Oh... oh! The spell!" Tav cried, letting her body slowly crumple under him. "Gravity! it's getting so heavy!"

He giggled against her as she slid into a heap on the ground. His forehead resting above her shoulder, her arms thrown above her head, staring up at the newly woken stars.

"We're just going to lay like this, huh?" She sighed.

"The spell takes a while to wear off, I'm afraid."

She smiled, letting out a contented breath with the closing of her eyes. Enjoying his weight on her and the slow calm of night for a moment. His arm naturally encircling her head, face turned into her hair. Heart fast and breath slow.

She peeked one eye open, feeling his stare.

"Yes?" She whispered in a playful lilt. Turning her head to look at him.

His wide pupils held her still. A single breath shared between them as his eyes searched her, lips fallen open. Their turned faces unreasonably close, air softened with anticipation. All she would have to do was tilt up.

The haze overrode her better judgment, and she lifted her chin. Lips sliding into his in a soft part.

Her mind caught up with her mouth, pulling back in shock. He had very kindly turned her down twice now, the second time just last night at the tielfing party.

"Oh Gods, I'm so sorry." She rose up on elbows, face heating.

His wide eyes followed her as she stood, chest radiating a gauzy purple under his robe.

"I'm- I'm gonna go." She patted her thighs anxiously. "Sorry, again."

Turning on her heel, she grimaced as she strode away from him.

Gods. Way to take it too far.

-

Tav paced in angry circles.

"Fuck Mystra."

"You're going to dig a hole in the ground." Shadowheart raised her eyebrow at her rage loop.

"The fuck is her problem?" Tav continued on, waving her arms. "It's not enough to disgrace him, exile him, then leave him to fend for himself with the fucking orb that you know how to fix! Then you ask him to detonate it? Just all casual, no biggie?"

"Darling, we all agree with you." Astarion drawled, leaning back on the log. "But do you know who isn't as convinced?"

He tipped his head towards the distant point of Gale's tent.

"Maybe spew some of that venom where it's needed."

"You're right." Tav slowed, planting her hands on her waist. Taking a huffing breath out.

"I often am." Astarion sighed, flopping back on the length of the log. "And you can convince him to come start dinner. Unless you want to be supped from early tonight."

"Oh, I could start dinner! How hard can it be?"

"Karlach, that's a very kind offer. But let's see about Gale first." Wyll encouraged.

Tav waved her hand in acknowledgment, heading towards the outer loop of camp.

She took several deep breaths, knowing that coming in hot might just dig his feet in farther. Afterall, this was a diety he had devoted his life to, of course he thinks her stupid fucking idea is founded in some wisdom.

Low pulsing violet light emanated from the seat of his closed tent. Tav bit her lip in concern, ears naturally piqued for any sounds of distress. Picking up the sound of muffled hard breathing.

Her hand hovered over the flap of his tent.

If he was suffering, would he even tell any of them?

A pained whine broke her of her apprehension, lifting the opening.

He was laid back on blankets, head angled back. The underside of his jaw, chest arched up. Hand clamped over his mouth, eyes rolled up into his head.

Her wide eyes traveled down where his velvet shirt was bunched up around his ribs. Sleep trousers pushed down to the seat of his thighs. Bare hips writhing and thrusting up into-

His head lifted and caught eyes with her.

"Ah!" She yelped, turning quickly, pressing her back to the tent wall.

She groaned quietly, doubling over and pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes. A fruitless effort, that moving image was embedded for good.

"All the gods above and below, I am so sorry!" She stamped her foot, embarrassment spiking the threat of mortified tears.

There was only a low chuckle and the sounds of rearranging fabric behind her.

"It is not funny." She hissed, ducking her head around to give him an incensed glare. Getting only louder, snorting laughter.

"Cosmically? It's quite funny. Given the subject of my imagining."

Her cheeks heated at that, sure she had misconstrued his meaning.

"This has happened too many times." She sighed, shaking her head.

Ducking back around fully to level her gaze at him. "You need to get even with me."

"Even?" He gave her a confused but warm smile.

"Yes. I've got too many violations under my belt. It's your turn to do something mortifying to me."

"Interesting..." A mischievous smile spread across his face.

"Don't tell me what it is." She held her hand up preemptively. "Just decide and do it when the time is right."

"And nothing is off the table?" His eyes glinted.

"Go wild. I'll do whatever you ask."

Tav immediately wanted to walk that back, but bit the inside of her cheek.

"Excellent. And Tav..."

Her eyes met his.

"Thank you for checking on me. Truly. You're a guiding star in these dark times."

Tav's voice wavered in her throat into a muffled squeak. Giving him a nod instead.

"Goodnight, Gale."

-

It had been a tenday since their arrangement had been made, and she had fully forgotten about it. Too many events under their collective belts, battles won and grueling progress made towards overtaking Moonrise.

Everyone gathered around the fire, passing bowls and talking around full mouths. Cricket song in the tall grass. The ever-present oppressive air of the Shadowlands lessened just slightly by good company and filled bellies.

Tav had been sitting with their newest addition, Minthara. She naturally stayed back from the gathered camp, but Tav found her conversation very stimulating. She was tough but fair, giving harsh but insightful observations on anything they spoke on.

"What do you think of Gale?" Tav offered, her mortifying displays coming back in a slow creeping blush up her neck.

"The wizard?" Minthara gave that low chuckle she was prone to. "What about him should I find noteworthy? The fool hardy ambition and unconscious death wish is hardly unique to wizards of his caliber."

"Can't argue with that." Tav relented with a sigh. "He's very sweet when you give him the chance. I've grown quite fond of him."

"Yes, that has been obvious." Minthara lifted her glass to her lips, raising one eyebrow at Tav.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean." Tav mock huffed. Giving her a small smile.

"Why haven't you bedded him yet?"

Tav nearly spat out her food, coughing into her hand. Minthara giving her a few solid thumps on the back.

"Thats... that's hardly..."

"You don't strike me as inexperienced. But perhaps I am mistaken." Minthara mused.

"Or perhaps the wizard is. That seems likely, with the way his eyes follow you around camp."

"They do not." Tav grumbled, turning her eyes down.

"I have my own eyes, abbil." Minthara stated. "And they do not deceive me. That lovesick look is unmistakable."

She gave another low chuckle. "He's doing it right now."

Tav raised her eyes just slightly, catching Gale's in her peripheral. Whipping her eyes back towards her Drow friend. Minthara raising both eyebrows now, giving a knowing smirk.

"Either bed the wizard or put him down like a sick dog. It's a kindness to put him out of his misery."

Tav laughed, though she likely wasn't joking.

She reached out to take Minthara's empty bowl, walking up the way to the fire.

"And how was it?" Gale offered, smiling at her as she approached.

"Oh, delicious as always. You truly are magical making a meal with what we scrounge up." Tav set the two empty bowls with the others to be washed, bending over.

A hand ran from thigh up over her backside.

It was over so quickly she wasn't entirely sure she hadn't imagined it. Popping her head up and looking around in a fluster.

Gale raised a confused eyebrow. "You okay? Something bite you?"

"I'm okay, just... ah, nothing." She shook her head. "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty tired, I might turn in early tonight."

Fingers trailed up the curve of her spine, splaying out across her ribs.

She spun around, finding only gnarled trees.

"You know what, maybe I will too. I might not be all there tonight." She turned back to him to level an apologetic look.

"Of course." He smiled graciously. "I'm confident you'll find rest at some point tonight."

"Here's hoping." She sighed. "Have a lovely night, Gale."

"Oh, I will." He made to walk away then paused, turning as if remembering something.

"Thank you for saying I'm sweet. I'm very fond of you too."

Tav could only nod, pink fluster reaching her cheeks.

-

Tav lay awake in her tent, the damned wizard smothering all other thought. The earnestness of his teasing reaching under her skin.

She pressed her pillow into her face and hit her heels against the ground in frustration. The pool of desire in her pelvis full, heavy and insistent.

She tossed the pillow down at her side and admitted defeat with a sigh. Hand coming down to snake under her waistband. Meeting her already piqued clit, fingers leading down in slow circles. Gathering her pooling slick up over it.

Leaning her head back, she got lost in her own touch. The rising pleasure in her body pulling her along, fingers moving to the unconscious demand. Pushing her sleep pants down to her knees, kicking them the rest of the way off. Letting out a soft moan, fingers working faster. The circling orgasm pulling tighter. All sounds and sights floating away.

Imagining his hands on her, those wide skilled hands. How they would feel climbing her body, grasping and pulling. What the stubble of his beard would feel like between her legs.

The hands splayed along her thighs, pressing them open. Her legs laying flat against her bedroll.

It wasn't until the hands inexplicably didn't dissipate inside her imagination that she opened her eyes.

Gale stared down at her, arms locked out straight, leaning down on her knees.

"Don't stop." He commanded.

"What?" She squeaked, trying to pull back to cover herself, but he wouldn't budge.

"You said I could request anything. We'll, I'm requesting that you don't stop."

She swallowed, the realization of what was about to unfold rising up her already bothered pelvis.

Leaning back, she let her hand return to her center slowly. Her embarrassment making the pleasure she pulled from herself feel even more salacious. Constraining her face in a turn of her head.

"Come now, that's hardly fair." He clicked his tongue, gently pulling her face back to center. "I've been so wanting to see you enjoying yourself."

Her eyes opened into an incredulous glare. Frustration pushing into her arousal, needling her hand faster.

"Well, you've had a funny way of showing it." She huffed.

He got quiet for a moment, then slid both knees onto the inside of her thighs. Leaning up to be level with her, balancing on forearms around her head. His weight holding her legs splayed open.

"I have wanted you so unbearably it has numbed my mind."

His warm voice pulling low into his chest, he continued.

"All of my thoughts have been encircled by you, threading through every tortuous night. My skin hungers for your touch, and no distraction I have tried has soothed the strain."

His face drew ever nearer as he spoke, shoulders lowering him down to her.

"All of your intrusions have proven to have only stoked the flame higher. Much higher."

He was breathing against her lips now, so near it made her eyes flutter up into her lids. The teasing making her feel delirious. Hips starting to writhe fruitlessly against the hold of his knees.

He looked down at her efforts, her stomach twitching in jolts. Her eyes following down, seeing the strain in his trousers above her.

"I want to touch you so terribly." He groaned, eyes lidded. "But I want you to cum first."

She bit back a moan, eyes desperate on his. Feeling like she was going blind with need, bucking her hips.

He leaned forward, cupping the side of her head as he rumbled directly into her ear.

"I cannot resist you much longer. You are so beautiful like this, it's driving me mad. Cum for me, I need you to feel you on my tongue."

She yelped out a moan, his mouth coming down to muffle hers. Her whimpers pushing into his lips. Orgasm crashing over her in high waves, swells rising up through her. He pushed her sleep shirt up to her clavicle. Leaning back to watch her ribcage rise, breasts heaving. Moaning at the sight low in his throat.

She grasped the front of his robes, pulling his face back to hers.

"I came, now please tou-"

His mouth smothered back over hers hungrily. Breathing hard through his nose, gasping against her lips. Pulling up on her waist, her thigh, his hands warm and insistent.

The pull between them was demanding, primal. Tangling and burning with need. Desire barely contained inside of bodies, ready to spill over in a boil.

She tried to reach for his sleep pants but was caught by her wrists, an unknown hand slamming them down pinned above her head.

She looked above and saw a mage hand.

"You bastard, that's what that was." She gasped out when she could get a breath in.

"It is so wonderful to tease you." He chuckled, head starting to lower down her body. Cupping her ribcage reverently as he kissed along her neck, her clavicle. Nose drawing a small circle around her nipple.

"You blush such a heavenly pink." He sighed, kissing along the underside of her breast.

She bit back a moan, coming out as a needy sqeak. Arching her ribcage up to meet his mouth.

"Gods, I want to drink you." He growled, cupping her breast and dragging his tongue up over her peak.

She writhed underneath him, wrists straining against the hand still pinning her down.

He lapped at the hard nub, flicking it with his tongue before enveloping it into his mouth. Undulating his tongue in a warm wave.

Her legs rose up into a curl, groans as quiet as she could manage leaving her. His mouth pulling pleasure from her in winding handfuls. The sensation pushing her hips down into an unconscious rocking, the ache in her pelvis her only driving force.

He cupped both breasts and ran his tongue between them, breathing labored warm air over her skin. A trail of saliva connecting the two peaks.

"Gods, Gale! Please!" She whispered, hips rising in desperation.

"No, I am taking my time with you." He stated, the mage hand tightening on her wrists. Licking up a line on the underside of her breasts, watching the flesh mold to his tongue, then bounce back into place with a satisfied groan.

He finally pulled his cock free of his trousers with a relieved breath, settling back down onto his belly. Reaching under her, taking both of her hips into his hands and pulling them flush to his mouth without warning. Tongue crashing into her clit with a vengeance.

She barely stifled the cry in her throat into a soft whimper. Hips already canting against his jaw.

One of his hands snaked around and pulled up on her pubic bone, giving him full access. Latching onto her clit and undulating his tongue in that same wave. Slurping and suckling, hand shooting out to hold her thighs open as they tried to clamp around his head.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" She whined, pelvis trying to twist away. The pleasure so intense it bordered on unbearable. His near delirious enthusiasm rising it tenfold. Grinding his hips in time on the tent floor. Staring up at her, eyes dark with intensity.

She could feel her second orgasm about to unravel her. Arms still pinned above her and legs pinned open beneath her, she had nothing to hold onto but his eyes. Hers straining up in pleasure, realization of how intense this was about to be washing over her.

She begged out under her breath.

"Oh Gods, I need you to gag me or I'm going to scre-"

The mage hand left her wrists and pushed two fingers inside her mouth.

She writhed and jerked, orgasm ripping through her. Tearing through her relentlessly, biting down on the mage fingers to silence herself. The pads of its fingers massaging her tongue while his tongue below still pulled and sucked. Bringing her higher and higher, determined to collapse her entirely. Her hips rising in the same plea to escape, his mouth only rising with her. Chasing her up the bedroll.

"Ah! Stop, stop, stop." She breathed when the overstimulation got too much, a laugh on the edge of her words. Pushing his head back gently.

"Too much?" He hushed, a twinkle in his eyes.

She nodded, body going limp. Puddled out under him, eyes glazed and struggling to focus. Head lolling while her breath tried to gather back in her chest.

He rose back up over her body, palming over himself. Laying on his side, he watched her. Wiping his mouth of her arousal and spreading it over his cock.

She reached out again, but he directed her hand up to his cheek instead.

"Just let me watch you, the image of you like this has been tormenting me."

Her body fallen open, cum dripping down her backside. Too fucked out to feel bashful, she stared back at him with lust blown eyes.

His breath hitched in his chest, free hand running reverently over her hip, her belly. Eyes lost in her in awed desire. Hand pumping faster and faster. Face starting to crumple in pleasure.

Seeing the first telltale twitches of his hips, she shot forward. Pulling him entirely into her mouth and sucking down hard. Bobbing her head and opening her throat.

He collapsed back onto haunches, hips rising in jolts. Hand winding into her hair, crying out against his cupped hand. Tremoring hard as his cum fired in waves down her throat.

Using the last of her strength, she sucked mercilessly. Gripping his hips still as he squirmed. Only when he started whimpering did she release him with a pop of her mouth. Falling back boneless on her bedroll.

"There." She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "I have the upper hand again."

He collapsed down next to her. Both their breath a heady miasma around them.

"Oh?" He laughed, voice strained with lost breath. "Do you now?"

"Mm-hmm," She hummed, turning onto her side and flipping him by the waist to wrap around his back.

"Now you've gotta get even with me again." She nuzzled into his back, arms winding around his front. Hands cupping his chest.

He sighed out, body going limp inside her hold. His hands lacing over hers tenderly. Murmuring out something she couldn't catch when her legs cradled up under his.

"What?" She hushed, kissing the curve of his shoulder.

"Hold me. Closer, please."

She wound her arms tighter, palm rising up over the burned circle. Fingers smothering the purple light. His fingers winding into hers desperately. As if he didn't hold on tightly enough, she would drift away from him.

"Shhh.." She pulled one of her hands behind him. Scratching gently along his back.

He tremored at that, going limp again. Bowing his back unconsciously.

She smiled, reminded of a cat. Nearly expecting him to start purring.

His breath slowly evened out, curling up fetal. Her body following him, encircling into his curl. A deep sleep seemed to take him, a soft snore moving in and out of his throat.

"Sweet, sweet man." She sighed, kissing the edge of his jaw. Seeing the side of his mouth curl up in a sleeping smile.

~

[peach-top]

❝𝙑𝙄𝙎𝙄𝙊𝙉❞

➤ ACT I. | CHAPTER O.

➤ ENTER: DARK CHOCO COOKIE

“Phew…Shame that I had to leave the Dark Cacao Kingdom, but I will return.” [Y] mumbled while traveling through the forest. He paused mid-step when he smelled strawberry jam nearby. He followed the scent of the strawberry jam, once he got closer, he found a man dressed in black, sitting near the fire. [Y] doesn't see blood anywhere, but he can still smell it.

“Excuse me…” [Y]’s voice startled the raven haired male, making him draw his sword. The taller male apologized, “Sorry. Did I scare you?”

The raven haired male lowered his sword, “It's just you.”

“???” [Y] tilted his head. “Have we met before?”

“...No. I've been watching from afar.” the male replied, stabbing his sword in the snow ground, “But I know of you. You're the Tamer of all Beasts. That's what they call you. You're the hero of the Dark Cacao Kingdom. A great replacement…”

“...” [Y] analyze the male’s appearance. Raven haired with white streak, similar to Dark Cacao Cookie. There's no questioning it. This male is related to the king. The prince. “Are you Dark Choco Cookie? I've heard Dark Cacao Cookie mentioning you before.”

“... Can't say you're wrong. I was exiled from this kingdom. I've returned to see how father might do without me until you come along…” Dark Choco mumbled. “It looks like everyone has forgotten the prince and moved on. Even father. He doesn't want to see his son nor does he see me as his own.”

[Y] stood quietly before sitting on the log a few inches away from the male, “I don't think they forget you at all.”

Dark Choco huffed, “What are you talking about? I committed a terrible crime and almost killed my father.”

“I saw a portrait of you still hanging. You look different than you are before.” The taller male pointed out.

“What?” Dark Choco gasped softly. He then scoffed, “...Tch…You’re lying…”

“I was raised in a forest by a tree spirit. I wasn't taught how to lie. They say that lying is irresponsible.” [Y] said. “But keeping secrets might not be…? Not sure…”

“...”

“However, Dark Cacao Cookie kept the portrait up as a memory. He wouldn't admit it, but I feel that he missed you.” [Y] pointed out. “I can sense other emotions and aura. Like that sword you're carrying. I smell strawberry jam.”

“...That thing…is messing with my head. I can't escape it if it's controlling my head…” Dark Choco Cookie furrowed his eyebrows. “Darkness has consumed me.”

The taller male stood up and grabbed the sword, ignoring Dark Choco’s warning. [Y] lifted the strawberry jam sword to test it out. He could hear a distorted voice within it. The effect didn't work on him.

“I see. I can understand why it's messing with your head. You're one of the poor souls who have fallen victim to this.” the taller male said, lying the sword back in place. “You know it's not too late to redeem yourself and keep fighting it.”

“...It is too late. And even if I keep trying, there's no hope to keep fighting.” the raven haired male frowned.

“There's still hope left. Don't stop. I have light by my side to protect me from the darkness…” [Y] said, using his magic to form a glowing butterfly. “No matter if the darkness tries to consume me, I will keep fighting back. I still have hope. Don't lose motivation.”

The taller male held the butterfly towards the raven haired male. Dark Choco timidly holds his hand out for the butterfly, allowing it to rest in his palm.

“...!” the raven haired male’s eyes widened when the butterfly disappeared. He looks disappointed, thinking that he might've killed it. [Y] chuckled softly, “Don't worry, it does that to mess with you.”

“It's not funny…” Dark Choco huffed.

“You could use a friend to help you out with stress.” [Y] said, much to Dark Choco’s confusion. The taller male held out his arm and whistled. The raven haired male narrowed his eyes until he jumped when heard a hawk in the distance. A white hawk landed on [Y]’s arm, “This is Lucille. A friend of mine. She will help you out if you ever feel jiffy.”

“I don't need it. It won't help.” Dark Choco furrowed his eyebrows.

“Don't refuse it. It's important to have a supportive friend with you. It'll help, trust me.” [Y] spoke before removing his bow and gently tied it around the hawk’s neck. Lucille then landed on Dark Choco’s shoulder and nuzzled against his cheek. “She likes you. Good…She can get protective at times, so you'll be safe with her.”

“Off I go.” [Y] packed up his stuff and got ready to leave, but Dark Choco stopped him.

“Wait. What's your name?” Dark Choco asked.

The taller male softly smiled, “Just called me [Y]. Let's meet again. Farewell…”

Dark Choco watched as [Y] left, leaving him with the hawk. The raven haired male turned his attention to the hawk, “Lucille, huh…? A perfect name for a hawk like yourself.”

Lucille nuzzles Dark Choco’s cheek with love and affection. The raven haired male smiled softly, “I guess I can keep you as my supportive friend then…”

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

“It took long enough. You really shouldn't be wasting your time…” Pomegranate Cookie scoffed. Her eyes landed on the hawk, “And that thing? Where did you find it?”

“She's not a “thing”. She's a friend.” Dark Choco glared.

“Friend? Since when did you make a friend?” Licorice Cookie raised his eyebrows.

“Not like you ever had any friends…Your servants don't count.” Dark Choco insulted the hooded male. “Go befriended a rock or something.”

Licorice gasped, taken back by the insults and dropped on all fours, “Why…? Why do you have to be so cruel?!”

“Enough. Stop crying. How are you a part of the Cookies of Darkness?” The female scowled

“S-shut your mouth! You don't know anything!!!” Licorice sobbed before running away.

“...I’m surrounded by idiots…”

╭ ⁞ ❏. facts

┊ ⁞ ❏. silver kingdom here we come

┊ ⁞ ❏. [y] can't lie, but can keep secrets

➤ preview.

➤ chapter i.

[meadowtwins]

Tips for broke witches with a budget of 10$/€:

As someone who started with their craft when they were younger, living in a poor household with little to not money for me available, I know how how it is with a budget so low, that being a "true witch" seems impossible.

Well, I just need to remind you all that for practicing witchcraft, you do NOT NEED everything expensive. In fact you only need so little. Sure, the whole witch aesthetic with all the decorations, the cauldrons etc. looks lovely and most of us would really like to achieve that level of perfectionism, but Witchcraft is much more than that. It is a predominately Pagan practice. Nature is one of the biggest, if not the biggest aspect in it. Sometimes you just aren't really knowledgeable about all the options you're available to.

Tip 1: Nature walks:

As mentioned above, Nature is a big aspect. Almost every ingredient and spell componement is seen outside. Take a walk, go into the woods, get off path, you'll find herbs, fruits, flowers, all kinds of decorations. You can find sticks, bind them in any shape and hang them onto your wall. You can cut off (with Natures permission!) Ivy wreaths and hang them up. Pinecones, pineneedles, treebarks, hazelnuts, feathers, wheats all kinds of grass, everything is out there! Take a look on the ground and maybe you'd be lucky to find a few gemstones (yes, they're just out there!) or if animal bones are something for you even that!

Tip 2: Grimoire/Book of Shadows:

Your witchy journal does NOT have to be that expensive leather bound, old journal that the old antique shop sells for 60 dollars because it has a "magical aura". Yes, how can someone pass on that aesthetic, but your book isn't magick by itself. YOU first put the energy into it and make it something magical to you. Without your journaling and time you've spent, it is JUST a book! Therefore a simple notebook that costs like 1.50 max works completely fine! Mine is a notebook if found in my drawer that has a rainbow reflecting surface, trust me, the aesthetic is the thing you should be least concerned about.

Tip 3: Divination Board:

Self-made is always the cheapest option! Again, like your Grimoire, the board isn't the one with with the magical attributes. It's all you! My first divination board was made out of cardboard paper. You have all the options open, it can just be paper or you could even print one out. The material does not devalue the magical properties.

Tip 4: Pendulum:

A pendulum itself is cheaper than you think, look in the right places and you'll see. But if that is too much you can always make one yourself. You have to keep in mind that the item doesn't come with the magic! You're the one making if something magical. Find a pretty stone on the ground (with luck a gemstone!), tie it to a string and wear it as necklace. There you have it!

Tip 5: Cauldron:

A fire bowl, a normal bowl, a plastic bowl etc.! You can use anything. It depends however on what you do with it. Make sure not to use fire irresponsibly if you plan on burning something in it. Keep a window open and don't burn something in a not substitutional material. There's a reason a fire bowl is differencated from a normal bowl.

Tip 6: Gold, Bronze, Silver etc.

This goes for jewelry, tableware, bowls etc. For example in spells/rituals or offerings to a deity. A plate to put your offerings on or to set the spell on. Look into your cupboards! A glass bowl is a popular one to use since it's neutral in it's symbolic and easy to clean. If you'd prefer something golden or any other other material, ask a grandparent or maybe even parent. They usually have some sort of old tableware that is golden or bronze or anything else. If asked (and you're a closet witch!) tell them it's for decoration or putting a candle on it. The same goes for jewerly. Grandparents (or aunts!) usually have old necklaces and earrings they don't need anymore. Or even brooches with imagery you can connect to a deity maybe.

Tip 7: Tarot Cards:

It depends if you believe in the rule that says you cannot buy yourself a tarot deck. I do! Therefore what I did, was make my own one. It took lots of days but in the end I had a full deck! It's lots of work so if you don't want all that from the start, make yourself only the major arcana. Again it can be made out of cardboard, paper etc. The material really doesn't matter. If you're not familiar with the rule, it says your first tarot deck has to be gifted to you, found, or made by yourself. Infact in my case, all three happened to me!

In conclusion, Nature has ALL kinds of componements. You can find so many things all around you if you just look close enough!

But don't forget, cleansing is important! If you take items off the ground out and about, cleanse them off any negative energy before putting them into your household. If anything you need to know I haven't mentioned, just ask.

Happy witching!

[burst-of-iridescent]

not to beat the "sokka's misogyny" disk horse even further into the ground, but while i agree with the take that sokka being sexist logically doesn't make sense, i would go further to say that the water tribes themselves being sexist is both illogical and thematically contradictory.

the flaws of each nation in atla have always been linked to their element, and specifically what those elements represent. fire is the element of power; power, left unchecked, leads to imperialism and authoritarianism. earth is the element of substance and stability; stability, prioritized too highly, creates and justifies the rigid class system and rampant corruption of ba sing se. air is the element of freedom; freedom, taken too far, becomes irresponsibility and abandonment.

meanwhile, water is the element of change... therefore the water tribes cling to antiquated ideas about gender roles instead of adapting with the times (especially when the times involve a fucking war going on).

not only is this unrealistic, it also breaks the thematic pattern of the nations' flaws being virtues taken to extremes, and how this dovetails into the show's overall message about the importance of balance. if we're keeping with the pattern of virtue and vice being two sides of the same coin, then the flaw of the water tribes has to be related to change. and here is where some of the (badly executed) ideas in the comics and legend of korra could have come into play: change, left uncontrolled, can lead to progress... but at the cost of tradition and spirituality.

(imagine a nwt cut off from the world and forced to rely solely on itself, ingenuity and creativity flourishing out of sheer, desperate need. imagine a nwt where waterbending is nothing more than a tool, used to build and defend and maintain a fortress always at risk, its spiritual origins slowly lost to time. imagine a nwt more military than community, whose architecture and technology far exceed anything the world has ever seen, who look down upon their less advanced sister tribe, and see no need for the avatar - after all, where was he when they had no one but themselves for the last 100 years?

when warned that the fire nation is coming, they show no fear; they have held strong on their own for the last century, bolstered by their weapons and wits, and will continue to do so. you need the spirits, aang implores, and is met with derision, for there is no place for spirits in a society always chasing more, greater, better. the spirits have not helped us before, avatar. why would they now? we are all we need.

when the moon spirit falls, unprotected and forgotten in an abandoned, rundown spirit oasis - so do they.)

not only would this fit better thematically, it would also ensure that the nwt's flaw plays a role in its own downfall. where the fire nation's warmongering resulted in the poverty and suffering of its own people, and the earth kingdom's corruption led - at least in part - to the fall of ba sing se, the misogyny of the water tribes is never shown to negatively impact them in any way. the north isn't defeated by the fire nation because they relegated half the population to healing. the south doesn't suffer raids or lose their waterbenders because they (supposedly) didn't let women fight. this lack of narrative punishment means that - outside of a few girlboss moments for katara - the sexism of the nwt isn't significant to the overall story whatsoever.

furthermore, while the ba sing se arc last almosts half a season, and the fire nation's actions drive the entire show, this supposed systemic oppression of women shows up for one episode in the first season before disappearing entirely. pakku is reminded of his lost love, magically turns into a feminist, and somehow the entire tribe follows suit? no one else protests, not even the other students or the chief?

and yet, though there are still no female waterbenders other than katara, or agency for kanna in her relationship, or any indication that women stopped being forcibly betrothed - the entire issue is simply swept under the rug and never brought up ever again in the show. i understand this was a children's cartoon made in 2005, and that even having female characters openly speak about and challenge misogyny was a radical feat for the time and genre, but the reality of patriarchy is that it's structural, sustained and immensely difficult to resist - if the show was going to depict that resistance, it should have done so with greater depth and nuance, as it did for many of the other difficult topics it tackled.

ultimately, handwaving misogyny away like it never existed is far more disrespectful to katara's character, her fight against injustice, and the girls who saw themselves in her, than simply toning it down or removing it could ever be.

[rowayneau]

Hazbin Hotel x Twisted Wonderland

An idea for an AU where the whole Hazbin Hotel ended up in Twisted Wonderland. The whole hotel(after ep 2) is suddenly transported to Night Raven College and somehow combines with The Ramshackle Dorm. Everyone is freaking out and is wondering where the hell are they, and who is this human kid (Yuu) and is that a talking cat?!?! Why are its ears on fire??? 

There will be a lot of chaos before everyone settles down. I can see Crowley will try to take advanta–ahem, show his kindness and let them stay on campus in exchange for helping out with the school.

Also this is a Hogwart/Disney school?? Where villains are being worshipped as heroes and history is not what it seems. I can see Charlie being a Disney fan will feel conflicted about this? Was their history wrong or the movies wrong? Not all the story is what it seems.

Charlie will learn a thing or two about perception in stories. How the story is being told depends on who's telling it, maybe her parents' story of hell might not be as accurate as they tell her.

But who cares about that right now, this is a magic school with wonders and amazement and new opportunities. But they are stuck being staff in a school full of douchebags kids with no pay. Yayyy…….. 

There are assigned different jobs and spread out across campus

Charlie: School's official therapist/counselor. Usually has no patients unless is an Overblot victim or Yuu coming in from an Overblot incident or dealing with Crowley’s bullshit. She is also Yuu’s primary caretaker, Crowley is irresponsible enough to leave Yuu on their own to fend for themselves doesn’t sit well with Charlie. So she stepped up and became a big sister to Yuu.(Which is a big relief. Have you seen what this kid went through in the game, especially in the later books?)

Yuu: Charlie assistant therapist/Crowley's gofer/Hotel gofer/Grim's caretaker. The unfortunate isekai protag who ends up cleaning up all the mess/incident at school. If that's not bad enough, with Ramshackle combining with the Hazbin Hotel, they will also need to deal with the Hazbin crew too. Will not be able to catch any break. At all.

Vaggie: School security and second gym coach. Will be extra protective of Charlie and super on edge due to being in a new environment and in an all boys school. Hates Coach Vargas as he reminds her of Adam and will be very strict towards the students and training them like a drill sergeant

Angel: Health/Sex-ed teacher. How did Crowley approve of this? No one knows. He is the teacher that everyone avoids but has to see due to being mandatory. Very uncomfortable and in way too many details of sex-ed during his class. Luckily for them, the students are all underage and he won't go that far. Except for Leona who is currently 20 years old. Yeah.....

Husk: School cafeteria worker. No different than working at the bar in Hotel but instead of hearing the Hazbin's moan and bitch about their problems, he gets to hear students moan and bitch about their problems. Oh and no alcohol since it's a school and all.

Niffty: School Janitor. Everyone is afraid of her and is cleaning up after themselves just to avoid her. Students with bug-like features or resembles it hides from her.

Alastor: School Announcer. This creepy fuck took over the school broadcasting system and turns it into his own radio studio. Keeps tabs on the student body and makes announcement that either is useful or just fuck with the student body. Very interested in this world of magic and trying to study them for his advantage. He is also looking into Unique Magic and is particularly interested in Azul's.

Sir Pentious: School Repairman. He mostly causes explosions with his inventions and his egg bois can be found all over campus. There are just so many of them, like an Easter egg hunt. His invention is interesting enough and everyone likes an airship with a death ray attached to it.

I can imagine in this AU they will be stuck until all 7 Overblots are resolved and then maybe they will find a way back to Hell. Along the way, they will get involved in a lot of shenanigans and start to grow fond of the kids. 

They can see the kids do their best, but they always lose. What surprised them is that even with constant failure and loss, they never gave up. The kids are so passionate about their dreams & ambitions when they fall down and crawl back up no matter what.

In a sense, they can see how these kids are similar to Charlie with her dreams. Maybe there is more in common to them in this world than they thought.

[starryknight-dragonarts]

Aero is a young Skywing who's fire breath is considered relatively weak compared to other Skywings, but he has some unusual ability or incredible luck whenever fire is involved. For some unexplained reason, fire just refuses to hurt him; He isn't fireproof, but fire will just move around him and not touch him. Initially it was thought that he might be an Animus Dragon- (To anybody unfamiliar with Wings of Fire lore: Animus Dragons are a rare magical condition some dragons are born with where by command they could enchant an object to do just about anything they can imagine: Enchant a stone statue to become an animate assassin, enchant a wooden bowl to double any object that's placed in it, enchant a hole in the ice to produce infinite Seals! However there is a historic precedent for these Lizard Wizards to become Homicidal the more they use their powers so the Skywing tribe's solution was just to kill anybody with weird powers they don't understand before they become a problem.) -but when tested he has shown that he is not capable of casting any spells. Some Skywings still wanted to execute him anyway for having a strange power they didn't understand, but he was deemed relatively harmless and makes a very capable Blacksmith.

Aero is friendly and upbeat but he also has a tendency to be a little irresponsible, thrill-seeking, and often meddles into other Dragon's business or wander into places he's not supposed to be in.

Smith is a Skywing Animus who found out very quickly what his tribe does to hatchlings who are discovered to be Animus Dragons. He knew he needed to hide somewhere to not be discovered, so he used his magic to hide somewhere he believed he could never be discovered: Inside the body of his friend Aero, inhabiting him in a sort of non-physical form like a ghost who is able to communicate with Aero mentally. Aero is a considered relatively weak and unassuming so that benefits Smith as being his cover, but he has a vested interest in keeping Aero safe.

Being a Secret Animus and trying to protect his buddy Aero, Smith can't just go casting spells all the time or he could implicate Aero as the Animus and then they are both in trouble so Smith is careful and thoughtful about what he enchants making sure it's something he needs and has multiple applications so he doesn't need to make more spells. He made an enchantment to allow himself to control Fire.

Smith is reserved and apprehensive around other dragons having learned early on that as an animus he can not be trusted and his own tribe would kill him if they knew what he was. The only dragon he's really comfortable around is Aero and luckily Aero is the only one who can see him. Smith is creative and intuitive, despite having the capability to turn anything into a master craftwork with his magic he prefers the process of doing things himself with his own claws and values the work it takes to make something rather than it coming easy, however in his current form crafting things by claw is a little difficult.

Aero and Smith collaborated to build a suit of Armor that Smith can control remotely using or can open up and be worn by Aero as an actual suit of armor

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

"Riddle me this, Rollo. How mad would you be if I accidentally set the shared kitchen on fire with a ramen packet? ..I may have forgot i was cooking and left it on the stove. ..for a half hour." ~ (based off a real experience of mine <3 ((i should never be trusted with a stove again))

UHHHHH... Concern????? ???? ??? ? ? ????😅 I'm glad you're safe after that incident though, Anon! Malewife Rollo cooking and cleaning for us, that's the dream/j

Like Fire, Hellfire.

Concern immediately registered on his face. His eyebrows drew together, creasing the space between them. His lips twisted into a disapproving frown before ripping open and letting loose a harsh bark.

"You fool!"

Rollo darted past you and into your kitchen, making a beeline for the stove. As you had confessed, a small yet sizable fire had consumed the far most wall, setting ragged curtains and rickety wood ablaze. Stray embers and heat fanned him as he approached, undaunted by the flames.

“R-Rollo-senpai?!” you called from the doorframe. “What are you doing? Get away from there, you’ll hurt yourself…!”

He glared at you from over his shoulder. “Who is to correct your grievous error, if not I?"

Rollo closed a hand around his wrist—a pained expression rising up. The fire was too large to be stamped out through regular means. If he didn't act fast, the flames would consume the entire building and all life within it.

The only option he had to salvage this situation was…

What I wasn’t able to do all those years back.

Rollo swallowed thickly and raised a hand. His command came loud and stern. "Begone from my sight."

The jewel set in his ring let loose a flash of cooling light. A great pillar of water crashed down upon the raging fire, strong splashback sending you hurtling back a few steps. Roaring filled your ears and dissipated just as quickly--and when you blinked again, the magical water was gone, leaving behind a broken scene ravaged by black.

The fire, extinguished.

Whoa... That's raw power right there. Sometimes you forgot just how devastating of a mage Rollo was--and the reminder of that made you shudder.

Rollo sighed and casually dusted off his shoulder, banishing an invisible fleck of ash from himself. "Let's see what the damage is."

He brisky made his way over to the stove with you trailing behind nervously. Using his handkerchief, Rollo removed the lid from the pot sitting on a burner. Lying inside was a dry lump of noodles, charred beyond belief.

Rollo replaced the lid. His facial features twitched imperceptibly as he turned his attention to you, tone icy. "How irresponsible must you be to leave food on the stove unattended to?! Fire is not an element to be trifled with!!"

His mouth pursed into a line. "It's a miracle that you haven't burned down this hovel by now."

"Eheheh... Oops?"

He found no humor in the giggle and the light-hearted shrug that accompanied it. Folding his arms, he tapped one finger. "... What do you intend to do now?"

"There's always the cafeteria," you said sheepishly.

“Its offerings are surely more healthy than whatever it was you were about to ingest. Instant ramen has enough sodium in it to kill a baby goat,” Rollo sniffed. “What of this mess you've made of your living quarters?" He gestured to their destroyed surroundings.

"You could just put it back together with magic, right? I saw that amazing spell you pulled off just now. It should be no problem for you!”

He sent you a withering look. "And reward your reckless behavior?! I've already expended enough of my time and energy on you—against my better judgment. Magic is not something to wield so flippantly!!”

“Boo, you’re no fun!”

“There is nothing ‘fun’ about this!!” Rollo retorted. Again, he had his handkerchief at his mouth, masking his open disgust. “It is about time that you assume responsibility for your own actions.”

He casted one last glare at the ashen wasteland around him. A kitchen forever scarred, the damage scorching deep.

This destruction, fun? Claimed by hellish flames, fun?

His chest throbbed.

Rollo clamped his handkerchief down even harder, crumpling the moon and the stars upon it. His breathes quickened, yet his next words were forced into an eerie calm.

“If you’ll excuse me, I’ll see myself out. Enjoy your… meal.”

[yuri-is-online]

This is probably going to be my last big ask for a while, so let’s make it count. What I really wanted to talk about is Yuu and disease. It’s probably just me, but while the cute caretaker sick fics are nice and all, I just sit there worrying about Yuu’s heath.

As a completely different world, realistically Twisted Wonderland would not have the same diseases as Earth. Poor Yuu must have gone down like a sack of bricks the first time they got sick, at the very least. I’m not exactly knowledgeable about the medical field or anything, but even babies have some kind of an immune system thanks to receiving temporary antibodies from their mothers that hold them over until they can receive vaccines. Yuu doesn’t have that.

To make this worse, Ramshackle is well… ramshackle. Before it got rebuilt I guarantee that building was having untold issues even after being cleaned up. I mean, I highly doubt Ramshackle is temperature regulated via magic like the rest of the school due to it being abandoned. Yuu spent all of fall and part of winter in a run-down dorm. And ‘part of winter’ thing is me being generous given the iffy timeline of the game’s story.

I know it’s a running joke to dunk on Crowley for being an irresponsible guardian, but this is a terrifying level of oversight if none of the adults considered this about Yuu’s medical vulnerability. Another strike in favor of Yuu just running away.

- 🦐

I am so sorry I took forever to get around to this my dear Shrimp, I'm also not a medical expert so I had to really think about this. Disease in worlds with magic tends to be an underdeveloped part of most settings world building.

... also if you saw me post this before I was done cooking no you didn't ￢o(￣-￣ﾒ)

I want to start off by saying that I disagree about Ramshackle not being temperature regulated... sort of. Ramshackle is more or less a Victorian era mansion, so if we assume that it has the same general architecture then while it does lack a central heating system, it is more or less capable of maintaining heat in individual rooms. If you look at the in game artwork for the dorm, there are visible fireplaces in both of the main rooms where we spend time, the Lounge:

And our room:

As long as that fire is kept going, those individual rooms will have heat, and while that falls under the purview of the fire faeries that work for the school I can see Yuu being able to take care of themselves enough to keep their dorm warm. There is even a stack of wood next to the lounge fireplace, so we can assume they can get a fire going to heat the place. The real issues (from Grim's complaints) seems to be a lack of hot water and holes in the roof, both of which they would have had to live through most of winter with that could have caused things like a bad cold or pneumonia before we even get to potential magical diseases.

When it comes to magical diseases and vaccines... my understanding of disease is that a lot of them start in animal populations before they make their way into humans. So while Twisted Wonderland is a different world, the animals are more or less the same so I can see them having the same general diseases as our world... but as people use magic to treat the disease that introduces the potential exists for diseases to evolve to combat the magic treatments. I think it's those treatments Yuu would be more vulnerable to than the twst variants of the diseases they have back home; there's a whole host of new potential allergens in the potential cures they haven't been tested for and there is no guarantee using magic on Yuu won't hurt them.

If there are magic based diseases that come from the monster population, then Yuu would absolutely need vaccines for those but I could also see things like that as not being thought of as illnesses but rather a form of a curse, and therefore something that requires a different type of treatment. And I agree this does seem like a terrible level of negligence and oversight from the adults at NRC... but I can also see why it happens. Yuu shows no outward sign of being anything other than a normal, magicless human so I can see them sort of just assuming Yuu would function the same as anyone else and then go from there.

What really got me thinking in this ask was the potential for Yuu to need something like an inhaler, or an ssri, or hell even my iron supplements and how that would get handled. Especially ssris, I have a bit of experience with getting medicated and it can take forever to get on a combo that gives you your life back as opposed to fucking things up further. Getting snapped into another world without those meds and having to go through the process again in a world with a different concept of chemistry would suck so much. Poor neurodivergent Yuu's, as if life didn't suck enough already.

[thatbadadvice]

Help! My Mother-In-Law Buys A New Outfit Every Time She Pours Jet Fuel on Chilean Sea Bass and Throws Their Carcasses, Flaming, Into the Rainforests from the Open Belly of Her Private Plane

Care and Feeding, Slate, 1 May 2023:

Dear Care and Feeding, My husband and I have two children (2 years and 6 months). We recently moved back to my husband’s hometown to pursue a career opportunity for me. My husband has been home with the kids but was just offered a job. We found a daycare, but it can only take the kids three days a week right now (we’re on waitlists for full-time, but it seems like it could be months or more before we find two full-time spots). My mother-in-law has generously offered to watch the kids for the other two days. Overall, she is a lovely, responsible woman, but we have some significant value differences around environmental issues and I’m not sure how to navigate them. Our household focuses heavily on environmental awareness. We drive electric cars, we compost, we limit our air conditioning, we limit our flying, we eat all leftovers, we avoid plastics whenever possible, and we buy exclusively secondhand clothing. My mother-in-law is a big fan of consumption. Her house is full of plastics. She throws away whatever is left on her plate at the end of a meal, she keeps her house so cold in the summer that I need a sweater and she drives a minivan. I’m concerned about the message it sends to the kids if we stick to our values, except when to do so would be inconvenient. How do I bridge our two very different lifestyles going forward? —Environmentalist Mama in Limbo

Dear Environmentalist Mama,

I'm not sure how you can describe a person who air-conditions her home and drives a minivan as "lovely" and "responsible" but I will assume that this planet-hating harpy has gripped you so tightly in her environmentally irresponsible talons that you cannot see the wildfire-ridden forest for the trees (which she is personally cutting down for fun and profit). Do not let yourself be hoodwinked by promises of familial love and generous offers of free child care, as if these things matter more than assiduously composting! This woman is a monster who is single-handedly destroying the only earth your precious babies have to live on. Imagine the tragedies that will unfold if your children experience a loving connection with a person who purchases items made of plastic? They could come to believe that other humans are whole people with their own interior lives and decision-making apparatuses and values instead of ugly nasty baddies who dare to oppose Mommy's One True And Only Way?

You simply cannot bridge two lifestyles as different as the two you describe here. On the one hand, we have your blameless and perfect eco-conscious little household of brave, Dumpster-diving Oliver Twists, and on the other hand, we have an ethically compromised, unscrupulous, indefensibly ignorant shitbird who probably barbecues her factory-farmed meats over asbestos tiles and flies to Australia to distribute the ashes over the Great Barrier Reef. If Planet Earth does not spin out into an apocalyptic ball of climate disaster by the time your children are old enough to be knifing their peers over tire fires for their share of rat rations, it will be because your uniquely virtuous family had the moral fortitude to drive an electric car and limit your flying. After all, electricity comes from magical climate-neutral fairies and the jet fuel industry is waiting with bated breath for the day that you ground your family and send an international behemoth into wholesale free-fall.

If there is one guaranteed way forward through the climate crisis, it is to silo ourselves into individual categories of "good people" who use paper straws (like you! you are so good!) and "amoral reprobates" (such as your mother-in-law, who sucks!) who do not. The very future of humanity depends on demonizing and shaming other people until they behave as we want them to, privileging individual actions over collective resistance to and accountability for the worst global offenders, and rejecting community-building opportunities in favor of being the only best good person ever.

Build no bridge with this woman! She would probably just drive over it with her minivan, and then the blood of billions will be on your hands.

[sagesilentfire]

Yeah- the show is absolutely using it as a stand in/scapegoat for the Butterfly family's crimes, but realistically? It's no different than fire, electricity, or radiation, a morally neutral force of nature that is nevertheless dangerous and prone to being used irresponsibly or maliciously.

Exactly. Radioactivity is fine in nature and an excellent alternative power source, but Glossaryck gave the Butterflys the equivalent of a nuclear bomb. Star should've concentrated on destroying that, not one of the four fundamental forces in this metaphor.

And we've seen creatures that live on magic that have nothing to do with Mewni. That weird magic-eating elf guy from Gone Baby Gone, for instance. Like... way to sentence him to starvation, Star, good job.

[esotericas-sims]

Chapter Six

Magda left me a series of directions to get myself back to Villa Battaglia. They were, apparently, a rather well-known family, in Rome. I passed by a girl as I left, though I do not now recall if we spoke. Hers was a face I will remember forever; even now, with her blood on my hands. Round and soft, with large, sleepy blue eyes. She was always barefoot.

Mischa.

We must have met, that night, because no formal introductions were ever made between us. She simply knew my name, and I hers.

As I walked, I heard my name called from somewhere beyond me - distantly, accented.

"Marie?" It was a young man, voice deep but without the gravel of proper adulthood. And he was as un-Italian as I was - a German, I thought.

Perhaps my father had sent people to look for me. That would be a pleasant surprise.

I set off in the direction of the voice. My arm still ached, but the wood remained, even out of the strange little paradise of Magda's home, magical. And indeed, the person I found when I arrived was not a man, but a teenage boy - fifteen or sixteen, sandy-haired.

"Bist du Marie?" [ Are you Marie? ] He asked me. Certainly a German. I did not know the tongue then - I still only know the beginnings of it. Hideous language, German - but I knew enough to understand him. I nodded.

"Mein Name ist Wolfgang. Mich hat dein Vater geschickt, Conrad. Ich soll dich zurückbringen." [ My name is Wolfgang. Your father sent me, Conrad. I'm supposed to bring you back. ] The words washed over me, alien in my ears. I stared at him for a moment, and then caught my father's name. Again, I nodded. What was a German doing in Italy? What was I doing in Italy, for that matter? This all seemed so odd. Contrived; a German and a French girl walk into a bar. The bar is in Italy. The year is 1790! What an absurd turn of events. This felt less believable than the beast in the woods, or my dreams of fire.

Still, I had already lost track of Magda's directions, and was hopelessly lost. There was nothing to do but follow him.

It was some time before we reached Villa Battaglia again, longer than I remembered walking. But perhaps Magda had walked some distance when she saved me? I could not say. A guard allowed me in, and I barely had a chance to bid Wolfgang a clumsy "Danke-" before I was dragged off.

My father waited within, I was told. And he was not pleased. Above us, though I learned this only later, was a gallery of observers: the children Battaglia. We will meet them formally later.

I tiptoed over to my father, cautious of the mud on the hem of my dress, and nervous of what he would say about my new wooden limb. Still, I was glad to see him. The house was warm and beautiful, a beautiful terrarium in which I was a butterfly, protected from the night and the elements outside.

I sat down next to him, and he turned to face me.

"That was utterly irresponsible of you, Manon! I can not believe you would do such a thing. Disobeying me, and wandering off. You could have been kidnapped, or attacked." I did not know how to tell him that I was attacked. How could he not see the heavy, glaring wood of my arm? But he didn't seem to notice.

"If you pull something like that again, you'll be sleeping in the stables with Ophelie again. Do you hear me?"

"I did not get lost on purpose!" I said. "You should have let me come in. What sort of father leaves his daughter alone at night?"

"What sort of daughter-" He began to retort, but fell silent. He just stood, and turned away from me. "We were going to leave in the morning, but we are leaving now. Come."

Our spectators watched from above, silent.

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[androgynousblackbox]

How To Lose a Lucifer In 10 Days. 31 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

Final step: Get him back

Another day in prison, another day in Heaven. Already he didn't like the pristine clear air of the place when he was supposed to belong there, but now as a fallen the place itself was agreeing on their mutual dislike of each other. No matter where he went, what he did, there was the always pending sensation that he wasn't welcome anymore, that he was being merely tolerated for the time being.

As it had become part of his routine, Alastor stayed in bed perfectly awake, trying to remember the dream he had last night. On the rare ocassions in which he managed to actually sleep an entire night, it was the same one. He knew it was a pleasant one. One he didn't really wanted to wake up from, but he never had the option of staying there. In the end, however, he couldn't even remember anything about it. It could have been violent and full of beautiful screams of the likes only the pit fires of Hell could provide, or it could have been as normal as a walk down a beautiful lake. He had no idea.

He just knew that every time the dream was over, he had to stay there and mourn it properly. Give himself a couple of seconds to feel the emptiness all around him, to soak up how wrong it all was, just before he had to raise up to start his day.

As always, he reached over to grab the jar with the medicine for his baby. As always, the enticing sweet scent of it made his mouth water with the desire to devour it like a snack. And also as always, he ignored it all to rub it over the small bump that was starting to form in his body. The tingling of whatever that substance was at least gave him a momentary actual relief, like a hug from a very dear friend he didn't know had been missing. It was warmth and comforting, which was a good thing because touch his belly lately was bringing up some ideas to his mind he didn't particularly like.

Ideas such as, how did he even got pregnant in the first place. According to the small goat cherub that Heaven had designated as his doctor during his time there, and used to only treat heavenborn before, magical pregnancies were not that different from regular ones. How did he know when cherubs actually were born out of eggs was another issue altogether. The father was of his same species, there was a moment of intimacy he couldn't remember to save his life and end up with a growing concern to take care of.

The only thing that at least he could be sure of is that the father had to be another fallen. Sinners by themselves couldn't reproduce. The other Alastor was a weird exception because of his connection to the already weird creature that the king of Hell himself was. That thankfully could reduce the number of suspects if he ever wanted to chase them down and kill them for putting him on that situation in the first place.

Oh, he knew already what he said to his mom about how the other father did not occupy not even a milimiter of his mind and he meant it. But being so irresponsible as to leave a child without a father had to be reason enough to have their guts pulled out through their eyesockets, at least. Accidents happened, he could have forgiven that by itself. The lack of total care for their own offprings, though, that was something else. If he had done it to others in Hell, then by all means he would be doing a service to his fellow dammned soul by taking out such nuisance.

There was, of course, another more annoying possibility. That the reason why that other fallen was so careless was because they already counted with their own family, with their own partner and other kids that were recognized as their own. Now that would truly sting. Messing around with beings that were taken was never going to be a thing that he would expect from himself, but if for some reason he ever did, then that was even a greater humilliation that he wasn't willing to let stand. He would still kill the offender, for sure, that went without saying, but at least he would try to make sure that the family of the cheater was taken care of with all the resources he could gather.

As for his own kid, he would made up a nice story for them. He would tell them about how their father was a terrifying and powerful demon that very much wanted to be part of their lives, but was tragically lost during the making of a deal in an Extermination attack. About how they both wanted to have them and they were ready to be a family together, before fate intervened. About how awful that event was, but he kept going because he was also a terrifying and powerful demon that couldn't imagine not having them in his arms some day. He would never have his own child to feel like a mistake or an accident, unwanted in any sort of way. If the other father wasn't going to live up to their role, he was going to do it for both of them and make sure his little one never lacked a single thing.

By probably offering the blood of the father to drink at some point. Babies needed iron too, didn't they?

But all of that would be when he reached Hell again. For now, he had to deal with the current situation. The one that included hear the sounds of his mother starting to prepare breakfast in the kitchen and the familiar murmur between her and his other version. He of course understood that any radio demon who ever had anything resembling his mother would love to talk to her as often as he could. It would be like being surprised that they both enjoyed the sinner's meat.

Nevertheless, sometimes he could swear that they talked about him behind his back. Keeping tabs on him a way that didn't feel just regular concern from a mother to her son or curiosity from another demon. All his attempts to send his shadow to find out what was that about had been fruitless. He could only imagine that the other Alastor had his own shadow alerting him of the presence of his magic and changed the subject on the spot. By herself, talking with her friends, Evelyn could mention a word or two about the cousins that lived with her, but not any son, as it was the condition established by the angels.

Even now, as he changed into his suit, a dark green one, his own shadow came back shaking its head. Another failure. It's not that he had any reason to distrust his own mother, not at all. But it bothered him to feel like there was something he was missing, something that everyone else knew about but him. To finalize his look, he pulled his hair back on a ponytail. When he looked himself at the mirror of his bathroom, he ignored the bags under his eyes and declared himself satisfied. The illusion spells of the angels was going to cover it up anyway.

"Good morning, everyone!" greeted, making an audience applaud for him.

Just as he expected, Evelyn separated from the other Alastor as she went to look something in the fridge. As they had breakfast, Evelyn said she was planning to get groceries for the rest of the month. Feeding two sons on top of herself made all the food run a lot faster than expected, who knew! And since clearly that was for their benefit, neither of them was going to have a problem to come with her and help her out to carry everything.

"Yes, mother" they answered in unison.

Evelyn said that if they behaved well, they could eat something outside. To comply with their implicit agreement, Alastor offered to clean up the dishes as Evelyn ironed some clothing as she waited. Her television was turned on the heavenly news as she worked. Everything was perfect, just like it was yesterday. And the day before that. And the day before that. And all the days that happened in Heaven. The most notorious news? Which kitthen cherub had won the last spelling competition. Thinking about it, Alastor was truly amazed he only managed to kill one lamb cherub after he was involuntarely redeemed.

Getting outside was hardly any better. All the harmony and calm and reason as people did not fight each other for whatever mundane minor inconvenience was mind numblingly exhausting. The only thing that could save him was the talk of his mother, keeping him distracted for once, but that day in particular he was finding it difficult to pay attention to her words. His mind just wanted to drift back to the dream he couldn't even remember and wish he could be back to bed, resting. Mom had told him that all forms of alcohol were forbidden in her house, so he couldn't even get himself excited to get a drink to tone down the white noise that was always at the back of his head. It was a constant effort to keep up with the conversation and think of ways to respond accordingly.

The understanding smile of his mother as she rubbed his arms only made it worse. As if she knew. As if she understood what was to be trapped in Heaven with a baby he had no idea from where it came from, with a constant headache that was pounding on his temples, with the ever present feeling of needing to look over his shoulder and wait for something he had no idea what it was, all his nerves set up in high alert, without any relief on sight. She had no idea what that was like, she couldn't, but she was his mom and the last thing he wanted was to argue with her, so he smiled all the same to her and apologized, he was just tired. So damn tired all the time. That last part he didn't say out loud, though.

After getting the groceries, Evelyn resolved taking them to a nearby restaurant for their lunch. Both radio demons asked for meat and when they got it, they were not surprised to find out it wasn't real meat. Just a lab thing made in Heaven that never had any life on it, so it was inherently more dissapointing. His counterpart and Evelyn were in charge of keeping up any conversation around, without requesting their participation. Normally something like that would offend him, but on that day he could only be grateful.

They were already returning home, the other radio demon carrying most of their bags, when the sky started to get darker. Heavy, dark cloud infested every portion of it, completely covering the blue.

"A rainy day?" asked a winner nearby.

"There are no rainy days in Heaven" said Evelyn. Her hand slapped slapped the air and grabbed to the other Alastor. "Do you think…?"

Before she could finish her question, a thunder broke out, illuminating the dark clouds for a second, before the sound came in. Someone yelled in terror at that alone. A cold wind started to pick up, taking away from winged angels before they found contact with the ground again.

"Stay inside" said the other Alastor, looking at Evelyn, but passing all the bags to him.

"You can't give him all of that in his condition!" protested Evelyn, taking them herself.

What was she talking about? The guy had the same condition and there was no issue with him carrying it all just second before.

"Inside" insisted the sinner, when suddenly the floor they were all standing in started shaking.

How did a place that was among cloud could have an earthquake? Alastor had no idea, but he took the arm of his mother anyway and started moving towards her apartment. The bigger bags were immediately taken on a small void he made under their feet. Everyone was too focused on the sky or in running to their own houses to notice.

"Are you going?" asked Evelyn, turning around, to the sinner.

Alastor paid attention to the question. Not where are you going, but are you going. As if both of them already knew the destination he could take.

"I will be back" said the man, starting to run away from them, towards the center of Heaven.

Alastor wanted to ask what was that about, but first it was taking his mother where pressumably she would be covered from the freezing cold that was filling up the entire place. Just as he was closing the door behind them, Alastor's nose picked up a smell of something burnt. something that wasn't wood or paper, but definitely burning. As they came up the stairs, a loud rumbling sound shook again the entire building and Alastor hold Evelyn against himself.

It sounded like the cry of a wounded dragon. The windows in the hallway they were in started cracked in their frammes. On her apartment, Evelyn dropped everything she had on the couch and turn on the TV. The news reporter were gone and instead a red alert was spread across the screen, telling everyone to get back home and not get out.

For some reason, watching that made Evelyn to let out a cackle that had Alastor looking at her as if she had lost her entire mind.

"The same thing was everywhere when you did your little act to get out of here!" Evelyn clasped her hands together and sighed, the smile still present in her lips. "Something big has to be happening!"

"And why, pray tell, is that a good thing now?" questioned Alastor, still concerned over her. "I didn't do anything this time!"

"You didn't" Evelyn turned to him and hugged him tight, keeping him close. "But someone else did."

"Are you going to explain what that means?" Evelyn shook her head and giggled as she brought him by the hand to the couch, patting his knee.

"If I am right, you are going to find out soon anyway. If I am wrong, well, we are going to find out what happens then!" She hugged him again and Alastor wrapped her on his arms, completely lost and confused.

"You are not worried about Al, aren't you?" asked, just to confirm his suspicion.

"He is a big boy, he can take care of himself" Evelyn reached over his kiss his cheek, patting it gently. "He will be fine."

"This whole thing is because of him?"

Evelyn caressed his cheek, letting out a sigh.

"Let's wait and see, dear."

It wasn't an entirely new concept. Both Lucifers had heard about it before, although as a purely theorical idea rather than as an actual phenomena. In theory, two beings with a soul frequency similar to each other could mesh into one and create something greater than both of them. If that ever did happened, they never heard about it on their respective dimension. That didn't mean that it didn't happen, but it did meant that they were fully unprepared for that exact thing to happen to them.

If they had to explain it to anyone, it was almost like the equivalent of moving from the house they knew and loved into a mansion with more rooms and bathrooms that they could ever need. Only to have the space filled with furniture that was new and familiar at the same time. The number of each of these changed inside of every second and make a map of it all for anyone else would have been impossible, but they just knew their way around it. There was no way for them to not know, even if they wanted to ignore it. Every part of the mansion, the changing ones, the fixated ones, the ones that barely had any shape, they were all open just the same. Everything that was humilliating, painful, dreadful and disgusting about their lives couldn't be contained any longer, just like their happiness and dreams were.

As the barrier that the spell had created shattered like a dam that was overwhelmed, one Lucifer managed to see for the first time everything that the other already knew before there was any interference. He saw an Alastor dancing close to him in a room of the palace. He saw an Alastor staying still as an sketch of his features was being drawn. He saw Alastor spitting insults and growling when he got them back. Alastor covering his mouth to pretend his joke wasn't that funny, his ear flapping on top of his head. Alastor singing and dancing with a baby Charlie in her room, without yet knowing he was there to see it. Alastor hurt and bleeding gold on their bed after coming back from Heaven. The scars forever present on his back. The first time he called his collar, worried because he had dissapeared for merely a few minutes. The night that Alastor appeared through the chain on the wall and immediately fell over the pillow. Alastor beneath him, Alastor looking up, Alastor smiling down, Alastor leaning to his touch, Alastor holding him against his chest.

With each memory that was unlocked, so did all the emotions associated with them. An entire new wave that came crashing and would not stop. Rage, grief, pain, joy, annoyance, relief, comfort, desire, hope, nostalgia. Things that even the original Lucifer who lived through it all thought he had forgotten, it all came back to him and not even they both together had enough chest to contain it all. Somewhere on their face they were crying, somewhere a mouth that was their was sobbing.

That is when Gabriel opened the door and they turned, growling for all of Heaven to hear about. As soon they knew who was that it, they knew every part of him, everything that he did, everything he saw and knew about them, about their Alastors. Every piece of information a new room on their everchanging mansion. They still weren't entirely sure of how to move in that new form, but they didn't need to in order to realize what they most desired to do. A dream that one part of them had been nursing silently and the other saw no reason to stop it. They both felt the tasted of that golden blood and it was sweet, fruity, like fresh grapes straight from the vine. Bones crunched and broke under thei teeth as they came out the room.

One look is all they needed to know how to break that pocket dimension. It was just as easy as lifting their hand up and let their claws do the job, breaking through the fabric of it's edges like it was always meant to be untangled for them. Their hooves landed at the embassy of Heaven. One thought was all it was necesary to set it ablaze, melting through every wall, door and ceiling the whole building could contain. The warmth of the fire was familiar for them, comforting, better than the oppressive air that didn't want them to breath it. They directed a hand up above and commanded the cloud to turn red, just like they were back at home. You can never have too much red. They knew two demons who knew that better than anyone.

Al saw the red alerts flash on the devices of the winners that he found on his way, most of them already running towards their own homes. Many doors were closing, stores were being abandoned with no fear of anyone stealing and curtains were being drawn over already cracked windows. The closer he was to the center of Heaven, the temperature in the air was increasing. By the time he managed to stop himself in front of the building engulfed in flames, it already felt like being back on Hell again.

Around him angels were appearing through portals of their own, each of them displaying magical weapons who were all pointing to the big doors of the embassy. Instead of being opened or crushed or break through, the door melted to the ground to let out the black smoke gathering inside. From inside, a black claw came out to grab at the wall at the side. Then another, digging into the sufrice. As the rest of the body came to view, other set of black claws were elevated in the air.

"ALAKAZAM, BITCH!" growled Lucifer, smiling to all of them.

Only it wasn't really Lucifer. For one, this being was taller than the king ever was. Two sets of arms who waved at everyone present before doing a bow. Two set of glowing red eyes with golden slit pupils on their white face, two of the inferior ones crying tears over two mouth. One of them already in the face, the other one in the neck. The long piercing horns with red tips came out like a crown around his forehead. None of that, however, was the reason why some of the angel let out audible gasps and some even lowered their weapons as they trembled.

Lucifer, or whatever he had turned himself into, flapped his twelve wings, four at the back of his head, sending more of the black smoke of the embassy being burned just behind him.

"Why so silent, little angels?" came out against their voice, the two mouth moving at the same time. "Don't feel so confident now that we have finally hit a spur growth? We will be generous for this one time. We will give you the first attack!" announced, opening four arms and lowering his head, as if offering it for the taking. "Who wants to try their luck first?" hissed, flickering their snake like tongues with a playful set of grins.

That was all they needed. Arrows, energy projectiles, spears and even blasts from heavenly swords were send all at once. What was left of the building behind the Lucifers started to crumble, their walls destroyed, the floor presenting deep and long marks where something had landed. All of them had made contact with the Lucifers at some point, Al was sure of it, and yet, when the twelve wings dissipated the smoke around him, he was just as pristine as if nothing happened.

"Is that the best you…" started the Lucifers when suddenly two eyes looked over where Al was and with that the other two followed. Suddenly their whole face illuminated, lifting two sets of arms. "Buddy! You are here! Look, we managed to get out! Isn't that awesome!" The angels finally turned their attention to the sinner. The Lucifers didn't like that and they growled. "Don't you even think about it" they warned, enclosing their hands on a dome and then opening them up.

All at once, the angels were pushed against the sky. Some of them end up crashing against nearby buildings, while others got swallowed up by the red clouds. Meanwhile, the Lucifers walked over to Al, who never thought would have to look up in order to see a face similar to that. He didn't even have time to assimilate how taller he was now when the four arms grabbed him and squished him against the chest. The scent around him was almost overwhelmingly sweet, like a whole street of bakeries taking out of the oven their treats for the day at the same time. That alone could be manageable, but the hug was actually squishing his entire torso and he couldn't breath or even move his arms to warn him.

"We missed you so much!" said the two mouths and thankfully that was it, as the Lucifer hold him up under the armpits. "Oh, sorry, we didn't realize! It's hard to get used to this form. Are you okay?" Still wheezing and coughing, Al slowly managed to lift a thumb up. Nothing was broken, at least he was 80% sure of that. The face of the Lucifers light up. "Thanks a lot for the help" they added in a softer voice, lifting him up so he could sit on their shoulder, a hand still holding his legs in place. Al hold to the blonde hair on a side, his hand ending up pretty close to the second mouth. "Are you ready for us to pick him up?"

Al nodded slowly.

"He…" started and took another breath. "He is waiting."

"Us too" the Lucifers started to walk down the streets.

Al saw that the angels were sending even more projectiles again, but the Lucifer just had to lift the wings behind their heads to deflect all of them, especially concentrating on the side where he was in. He had never been in such a position where he had to be defended in such a way, where he was being carried by someone else, and as new as it was, it didn't take him long to realize he wasn't disliking it nearly as much as he thought he would. It took him a while to also notice that he had never told the Lucifers where Evelyn lived, where Alastor could be, and yet their steps had no hesitation whatsoever. Everytime they touched the path of gold underneath cracked, leaving behind blackened holes with the impression of their hooves. It didn't looked like the Lucifer were doing it consciously. They weren't in any rush to move, but somehow they were suddenly in front of the building apartment of Evelyn.

The Lucifers extended their wings wider to cover it, protecting from even more attack that only knew to bounce off their feathers. They inclined themselves over the window of the balcony. With a soft movement of one hand, the curtain moved to the side and they looked inside with two eyes from the left side of their face. As the eyes looked around and fixated on the point they wanted, they smiled. Al saw his other version and Evelyn lifting their heads from the couch. Alastor instinctively covered his mother with his mother, conjuring his staff on his hand as he looked over.

"Babe/buddy" said the Lucifer, each mouth saying a different word. Which one said what, though, it was impossible to know.

With the same gentleness as they used for the curtains, they opened up the window and extended their hand inside, landing in the living room. Alastor's static reached a screeching sound and took out his tentacles. At his back, Evelyn rolled her eyes and grabbed the hand of her son, dragging him over. For a moment, Alastor was too surprised to even try to stop her.

"Can't you see that is not trying to hurt you, you silly boy?" said Evelyn, huffing. "If he wanted, he could have pulled you out easier than bad weed. And you!" added, turning to the Lucifer with a damning finger to the two eyes. "What took you so long? Do you have any idea how worried I was? All this nonsense is no good for any baby or the parent!"

The Lucifer blinked, taken aback. Al couldn't help but to snort. Everytime his mother yelled at someone that wasn't him was a delight.

"We… we are sorry" said the unholy beast, lowering their head. "We didn't mean to."

"You better! Between all of you, you are going to get me to have gray hair again!" Evelyn sighed, turning to Alastor, who was even more stunned than before. Tiny as she was, she reached for the face of her song and lowered it to her eye level. "I was glad to have you back, sweetie, but it's time to go back home now."

"I don't un…" started Alastor, but then Evelyn pulled him to kiss both his cheek.

"Just go with him" said Evelyn and exhaled, brushing some hairs out of his face. "I promise it will be okay. Come on, don't make it harder for your mother than already is."

Alastor looked over at the hand of Lucifer that retreated to the balcony, waiting. He directed another look to his mother and Evelyn just made more gestures for him to keep going. The second Alastor steped into the balcony, Evelyn closed the window behind him as if not to give him any chance to come back. She looked over to Al and waved a hand to him, sending him two flying kisses. Al responded in kind stamping on both his cheeks, one after the other. She smiled as he pulled the curtains again and Alastor looked over to the Lucifer, still gripping his staff and a snarl about to come out his mouth.

The Lucifer extended one finger towards him. It seemed for a moment that he was about to fight it, but instead remained still, throwing a look towards Al now. If he was fine, then this had to be fine. Despite the tremblor of his hand, Alastor trusted in the world of his mother to let happen whatever was about to happen. A single touch on his forehead by the black claw was enough to have his eyes flash golden magic. Alastor pressed his knuckles against his head, as if dizzy. It seemed to pass a long time until he lifted his gaze again and the smile on his face was sincere now. His eyes glossed over the massive figure that had turned the king of Hell and chuckled.

"Admite it, you did all of this so I would stop with the short jokes."

Both mouth of the Lucifers smirked.

"You know us so well, babe/buddy" chuckled the king, offering his open palm. Alastor steped at the center and managed to keep his balance just enough for the Lucifer to recline him over their arms against his chest, nuzzling his face. Surprised at first, Alastor quickly relaxed again. "We missed you."

Alastor hummed and lifted his head. Before his lips could make contact with any part of the porcelain skin, a black finger got on his way.

"Don't get us wrong" said the Lucifer and a light blush extended over their cheeks. It was incredible to see that even on that form, they were capable of such reactions. "A big part of us would love nothing more than to kiss you right now. So much you can't imagine. But you only belong to one of us, so it wouldn't really be fair."

Alastor was not pleased by this, but nodded regardless.

"You owe me" declared, crossing his arms.

"We will compensae" assured the Lucifers, keeping him close as they looked up. "Before that" said, speaking too to Al, "what do you both say about giving Heaven a piece of Hell they will never forget?"

Now they were talking.

"I am not opposed to some entertainment" said Al with a smirk.

"I was promised a rain of violence by my husband" added Alastor. "Regardless of where in this form he is now, I hope he delivers."

"Of course!" The Lucifers chuckled and barely moved his head to a side. That alone was enough to teleport him right in front of the embassy in ruines, that was still burning in place. The angels that had tried to attack him moved to reach him. "First" said the Lucifer, lifting a hand to stop all of them in the air. The only sign that they weren't completely paralyzed was the blinking of their eyes. "We believe we were supposed to bring in an army. We just happened to know the right guys for the job!"

As they said that, they lifted another hand into the air and opened up their palm. At both side of they were standing, a bunch of portals with golden edges opened up. From each of them came out walking people that couldn't be nothing else but other version of them. They were taller, wider, from different genders, different bodies, different clothing, but some characteristics were all recognizable. One half of each pair was always a platinum blonde, either in ponytail, braids, buzzcut, under a hat or just free, while the other half was always red a integral part of their clothing or the same bangs or the pointy chin. They all looked curious about where they landed, some annoyed, some amazed and a few were observing like being teleported to Heaven suddenly was just another day. A few didn't even have humanoid forms, like a giant white snake that appeared carrying a human looking Alastor on his head.

"We bet you must be wondering why we brought you here" said Lucifer, now without moving any of their mouth, but speaking directly to all of them. "This version of Heaven in which you all landed right now has traped us and tortured us, making us relieve the worst nightmares we could imagine. They made our children to go through easily avoidable amounts of pain for no other reason than because they rules told them to. They almost killed the baby one of our Alastor is carrying because they didn't know what they were doing. They have lied to us, use us, try to make us forget our Alastors, because they were scared that we could ever do exactly what we are doing now. It's finally time to give them a proper reason to fear us. We don't have any mercy left to give them" The Lucifer straighten up, lowering the angels with his hands. "For one hour, all of you are free to do as you please with every creature born in this wretched version of Heaven that you can get your hands on. The only ones free of this judgement are the mortal souls who had no power and no part on anything that happened to us. For one hour, we will grant you all complete immortality so their weapons can't hurt you and your bodies can withstand anything. Those of you who were born human or are otherwise mortals have nothing to fear. We brought you here because we have seen where you came from and we think you may present the least amount of an issue to do this task. Once this hour is finished, you will be back to your own places, consequences free, not even a second later in your realities. If any of you wants to retreat, this is your one and only chance to do that."

A beat passed. All the Lucifers and Alastors looked at each other.

"I could use the fun" commented an Alastor human, holding a butcher knife on his hand and wearing an apron. He flashed a smile to his own Lucifer, wearing a whole chef get up, who nodded in agreement.

"Make our children suffer is a step too far" declared a woman Alastor, stomping her staff in the ground.

"Sign me in" said a woman Lucifer. "Anyone who makes our Charlies cry doesn't deserve shit!"

"Jeez, and I thought our Heaven was already fucked up" said an Alastor dressed as Lucifer, his red deer ears flapping slightly.

"Never understimate how worse things can get, dear" sighed his Lucifer, dressed in a red suit, with a perpetual smile.

"One hour is a lot of time" A human Lucifer said, tapping his fingers on the rubi of his staff. He was one of the few that had taken the travel with the least amount of surprise. "Do you think you can handle that, old man? We wouldn't want you breaking a hip or something."

The Alastor at his side, wearing a hat with a long wing and red sunglasses, smirked. The long red hair moved with the hot air around them.

"I hope to be compensated accordingly, my lord."

"Make it funny at least and we will see" His Lucifer chuckled, opening his staf to reveal a long sword.

Another bunch of voices likewise expressed their own excitement and approval.

"Mmm. We hear no protest from any of you. We thank you all for your understanding" The Lucifers opened up their eyes. "I almost forgot!" said outloud. They lifted two arms in the air. "The numbers are not entirely equal, are they? We have to change that. This Heaven might have been the main culprit, but they had a accomplice that also participated in prolonguing our separation from our families. That Heaven!" said, looking up. In the sky, rather than the red cloud, was now a mirrored image of Heaven, but with an embassy intact. The angel that have come out at their own alarms looked up and started to come to the other side. "That Heaven is the responsible for torturing us. They were the ones who decided that giving us fear would stop us. You can do as you please to them, except those two" The Lucifer pointed to two archangels, who were suddenly paralyzed in mid movement too. Gabriel and Samuel looked up in confusion and terror before they dissapeared from their views. "Those ones are for us to deal with. As for the rest" They extended two hands forward and smiled big as they made a scissor out of their fingers, chopping the air. At the same time, the angels screamed as their wings fell to the ground, "they have too many wings already! Having just 2 should be more than enough, wouldn't you say? Anyway, we have to go to take care of something else. Have fun!" wished, bowing to everyone as they walked backwards to a portal opened up behind.

Before the portal closed, Al managed to see the angels moving again, instantly being attacked by their other version without being given any cuartel. They were on a long big hallway.

"You two never visited this place, didn't you?" said the Lucifer, cheerfully turning around as his steps started burning. Curtains and pictures hanging on the wall soon were being consumed in flammes. "This is the palace where all the archangels and members of the Heavenly court can rest or work in their offices if so they please. Somewhere around here no doubt Gabriel received his shitty prophecy. You two are the first mortal souls to be here since… well, since Adam, actually! Golly, we just remembered his awful taste! Most of them are outside trying to fight our other selves, but we are sure that you noticed there was a pretty important abscence."

As they finished their phrase, the Lucifers opened up a huge door with a kick.

"Seraphiel!" greeted the Lucifer, bending over to step inside the huge office. Two Seras looked back at him at the same time, holding hands. Soft blue energy was passing through one body to the other. They were shocked, but then didn't let go. "No, no, no, Seraphiel! That won't do!" The Lucifers chuckled as they made a single scissor with their fingers, cutting the air.

The hand that the Seras fell to the floor, separated from their wrist, bleeding gold into the floor. The Lucifers smirked, opening their palm that suddenly had the two hands cut out, still joined together.

"Touch again! Come on, we can keep doing this all day!" As they said that, they put the Alastor on the ground and offered them the hand. One of the Sera had yelled their name, throwing a projectile of her magic in an arrow, but one of the Lucifers's wings easily deviated so it crashed against the wall. The movement didn't took their attention away from the radio demons. "How does she taste?" were asking, their superior eyes containing a wicked curiosity as their mouth drooled gold.

Alastor was the first one to take a bite. Al followed his example. Despite how bizarre and weird was the whole situation, the opportunity of sink teeth into the flesh of one of the most powerful beings in Heaven didn't present itself on the regular.

"Sour" was the judgement from Alastor and he chuckled. "Citrusy, like oranges. I knew it. I have a sixth sense for these kind of things."

The Lucifers looked over at Al and he pretended to think it more deeply, masticating his second bite.

"I don't know" said after a while, letting his smile extend wider. "I will probably need a bigger piece to be sure."

"Oh, we can take care of that" The Lucifer laughed. Their hands patted the head of the two radio demon. "Just stay here and enjoy the show" said, snapping their fingers. A protective pearly white shield was all over them as the Lucifer turned back to the Seras, one of them ready to send another attack. The one was agitating a crystal on her only hand, frustrated it wasn't doing what was supposed to do. "Don't worry, babe/buddy. We will make sure to give you the final blow!"

With a maniacal laughter, the Lucifer launched themselves forward with their wings, claws out. Al couldn't help but to remember the time that the king had gone all out in the members of the gang they encountered, when the whole mess with the stones had barely started. Back then all the reason the devil needed to act was a small cut on his cheek. Now they both had a lot more than that to use as fuel. They had a reason to take their time.

When the screams started filling up the office, Alastor sighed as if for the first time at peace with the universe. He did look remarkably more calm now than on the past few days, a soft smile on his face as he followed every movement of the Lucifer. As some splatters of golden blood reached their barrier and slide down in front of them, he actually sighed. Al did not have the ability of the high ranking angels to see that famous shine or glow he heard about, but he was sure that if he did, the man would be blinding him. He ignored the tiny speck of envy behind the thought as he stood at his side. Another hand landed nearby, still attached to a Sera trying to drag herself away before the Lucifers grabbed her by the ankles, cackling.

By the time the Lucifer were over, one of the Seras was gone and they were biting down the arms with their two mouths.

"It is like oranges!" commented with a laugh, and then lifted a finger, undoing the barrier keeping the radio demons in. "Alright!" said, the bigger mouth unhinging to swallow hole the two arms. They walked over to the Sera he had tapped with golden shackles to the floor, wrist over her head while only one legs was being held. The other one missing was bleeding gold over the pristine floor. As one hand commanded the radio demons to come closer, the Lucifer kneeled next to her barely conscious body. "Hey, Seraphiel, remember all those times that we asked you for a meeting for our daughter and you kept saying no? And how we had to keep giving out our own blood and flesh everytime only for you to make it into a huge waste. What the fuck was up with that? What kind of horrible system was that? Who decided that bullshit? It wasn't us, for sure!" They bended over Sera, as if expecting a response from the seraphim, but the moment she opened up her mouth she only coughed out more blood. "Oh, wait, right. We cut your tongue already. Because we are fucking tired of hearing you trying to justify any of us and make it our fault somehow! Silly us!"

When the radio demon came close, the Lucifer offered a hand out for Alastor to take and bring him closer.

"They took this from you, but we got it back" they said, seemingly taking out of a sleeve a silver pocket watch. It didn't take long for Al to understand the point of the object when Alastor knocked the chain against his own staff, ending up with two black intrincate daggers on his hands. A shielf of angelic steel also appeared, but that one the Lucifers put on a side. "In this place she can't heal, we made sure of that" explained the Lucifers with a grin. "Take your time!"

That Alastor did, laughing all the way. The Lucifers on the floor and reached for Al the tongue of the seraphim. Al kinda felt like a kid someone was giving a snack to keep him entertained while waiting for the adults to finish a boring task, but the snack was good enough and the espetacle in front of him wasn't so bad, so he couldn't bring himself to care too much.

"Thank you a lot for the help" said suddenly the Lucifers, all their four eyes concentrated on what Alastor was doing. "We wouldn't have been able to do this without the stone."

Al cleared up his throat, momentarely taken aback.

"You are welcome" managed to say in the end and took another bite out of the tongue to justify not adding anything else.

"You know, we can do anything we want in this form" commented the Lucifer, but when Al looked up their mouths just had a pleasant smile without moving. "Even concede any wish that you might have. Guarantee we will be a lot more efficient than a stupid rock that will just sent you to another place because it doesn't know how to fix the issue."

Al swallowed up, the beating of his heart almost making him not appreciate the flavor. He was saved from responding to the proposition when Alastor let out a joyious yell, presenting the head of the seraphim to them, grabbing by her white curls.

"Can I bring this home?" asked, still recuperating his breath after all the exercise.

"Emily will probably not appreciate seeing that" said the Lucifers, extending a hand to pick Alastor again. When the radio demon sat on their plam, they brought him to their chest. "Give the poor girl a rest."

Alastor sighed.

"Very well. Only because it's her" Grabbing his daggeer again, Alastor opened up the mouth of the seraphim and slammed it down at the front. As soon he could pick up his pearly rewards, he dropped the head into the floor. "I am saving this one at least" said, putting a teeth on his front pocket.

The Lucifers nodded. That was reasonable. The teeth could have come from anywhere.

"Al, do you want something? It's now or never, buddy!"

Al finished up with the tongue, licking his fingers. He reached over to pick up one of the many feathers stained on golden blood that had fallen all over the floor. That one he did save. It could be a nice book mark that could bring another smile to his face everytime he used it.

"I am good now" announced. As he turned to the devil, he tilted his head. "I know that the Lucifer of this dimension is no stranger to cannibalize on his own, but I am surprised that the Lucifer from mine was up for it."

"Oh, a part of us was squeamish when we first thought about it" The Lucifer smiled, showing off their sharp teeth. "It was a lot easier when we realize that she would have done all of this to Charlie if she thought she had to. Both of them. From there, all of this suddenly sounded a lot more appetizing."

Al had no option but to agree to the reasoning and approve of it.

As the Lucifer placed another hand in front of him, Al step on it to get his place again on the shoulder of the devil. Truth be told, he wasn't bigger than his own demon form, but it was still big enough to carry both of them without any issue.

"What about your siblings, dear?" asked Alastor.

"Oh, they are taken care of already" The Lucifer chuckled. "Samuel is currently trapped in another pocket dimension living his own worst nightmare. Can you believe that it was to fall just like we did? What a dick. The other Gabriel is just trapped in the same place. Both of them will be released in a few hundread years. Hopefully by then they will learn a thing or two about listening to their brother. In any case, we are done here!"

The Lucifer stand up, opening a portal in front of them. Over his shoulder, Al saw the flammes finally enter through the hallways and start to consume the rest of the office. When they appeared again at the center of Heaven, all their other version were already gone and there was only bits and pieces of the angel. Most of them remained still, many were still wiggling on their most pathetic state.

"Oh, they will be fine" The Lucifer moved over, without paying them more attention. "Once we are out of here, we will just let them heal of their wound. They just won't have the same number of wings as before, but besides they will be good as new! With a few bad memories to haunt them on their hours of sleep, fingers crossed!"

Calmly, without any obstacle now, the devil took them to the golden gates and opened them up with a quick kick.

"So long, Heaven!" said the Lucifer, waving at the now two building that were being consumed in flames. As soon he traspassed the line beyond the gates, the sky changed from red to grey. Most of the clouds cleared, now coloured by the fires elevating themselves. "You fucking sucked and we won't miss you at all! Au revoir!" With that, they fell backwards through a new portal as the Lucifers bowed dramatically.

It was barely a single blink for Alastor to breath in again the oppressive, warm air of Hell. He inhaled it deeply, his whole body finally free of the nagging sensation of being condemned by everything around him. This was his place. This was where he belonged and he wouldn't change it from anything in the world.

When the Lucifers put him gently on the ground, he realized they were just in front of the hotel. But a dark bird flying through the air seemed stuck mid movement. The time was stopped.

"Sorry, it's just that we think we needed some privacy before returning with everyone" apoligized the Lucifer, kneeling as he also placed the sinner down. "We think it's time for some… compensation for all the trouble we just went through. You, first, buddy!" said, looking now to Al as he extended a single finger to stop just above his neck. "Want us to take care of that problem you have? This is what you were meaning to ask from the start, right?"

The sinner stared at the devil, his ears going flat, wondering until the Lucifers chuckled.

"Being omniscient is quite the thing, friend! We know everything know! It's actually really hard to keep up with the constant flow of information that comes directly into our head, but we managed to get that at least! Regardless, it's still your choice, buddy" The Lucifer shrugged casually. "Your soul, your rules. What is going to be?"

Al swallowed up and gave a single small nod. That was enough for the Lucifer to smirk and turned their palm up. When they pulled their fingers from under the sinner's neck, a shackle of red magic broke up as if it was merely crystal and dissapeared instantly.

"Ho ho ho, but that is not all!" said the Lucifer, barely giving a second for the sinner to process having back his freedom. "We haven't finished with you yet. There is something there in your ears! What it could be? Oh, look!" The Lucifers gasped as they pulled out a new staff from their hand, showing it to him. As Al hold it on his hand, the eye of the mic glowed in red, its magic activated once more. His old staff, a real one. "How lucky to have such big ears, huh? Wait, there is still something on your other one. Don't worry, buddy, I got you!"

This time, when they opened up their palm again, Alastor recognized the small pocket mirror made of angelic steel. At seeing that item, Al did frowned slightly and tilted his head as he took it on his hand. When he moved to open it up, the Lucifer put the tipe of their finger on top to stop him.

"Oh, no, buddy, we don't recommend that! For now, just let it be without opening it. Trust us, it will be worth it later on" Al still seemed curious, but finally saved the mirror on his pocket. Giving a small pat to the sinners's head, the Lucifers then turned slightly to Alastor. Two eyes soften up, while the other two looked excited. "How about you? We can give you anything you want, anything."

Alastor extended his hand and realized his engagement ring was already on his finger. When he lifted his gaze, the Lucifer winked two eyes of the same side and grinned. What else was for him to ask?

"Oh, don't worry about that, it's done" said the Lucifer as soon the request pop up on his mind. "Piece of pie! Anything else?"

Alastor through about it, but he was blank. He shook his head.

"I want my Lucifer" said finally, looking up, "and I want to go home."

The four eyes of the devil twinkled with joy.

"Very well then" said solemnly, the playful smile still playing on both their mouth as they stand up, bended forward to still speak to them. "If any of you ever wants to visit the other side, our doors are always open" as they said that, they presented to both demon with what looked to be a golden doorknob. They took it anyway, waiting for an explanation. "Just stab that on any wall and boom, you will be travelling to the other dimension! We didn't want to lose the contact either. Now, gentlemen" said, giving them a deep bow, opening all his four arms as their side. As they did that, a portal opened up just behind Alastor. Through the portal the vision of the hotel, exactly the same as the one they were standing in front, was clear as day "it was an honor to meet you in this form. We were glad to make friends with both of you, even with all the ups and down. May we see each other many times after this."

As they spoke their final words, their body started to glow in pure white. Both radio demons had to squint their eyes and keep their distance until the glow subdue, leaving on the same place two Lucifer holding their heads as they groaned.

"Ow, my head. Is this what a hangover is like? Omnisciency sucks actually" said both at the exact same time and they laughed at each other. "Jinx! You owe me a soda!" they said, complaining again as they grabbed their heads.

Alastor took a step foward to the Lucifer closer to him. The devil saw him coming and smile, giving him a tiny head shake.

"Hey, babe" greeted the other Lucifer. That was enough for him to get wrapped on black tentacles and brought over to the radio demon, squishing him as strong he was capable. "Heh, miss you too" said, before Alastor grabbed him by the chin and kissed him. The small sound of surprise coming from the devil quickly turned to delight, wrapping his arms behind the neck of the demon. Alastr lifted him up by the thights, holding him against him as he straighten up. As the radio demon continued nibbling his cheek and then his neck, Lucifer's throat rumbled with a deep sigh. "Let's go home, Al" exhaled, nuzzling against the chest in front of him.

Alastor had never heard a better idea. He turned around to see the pair for a moment.

"We will keep in touch" promised the other Lucifer, lifting a hand for a soft wave. "Just go. Don't tell me you are going to get all sentimental on me now?" added, raising an eyebrow.

Alastor knew that his usual response would be to scoff at that and let the king know that he could go to his daughter if he wanted mushy feeling out in the open. But instead, he merely gave them a nod. They had earned that much at least.

"We will keep in touch" said, walking up to the portal, with his husband saying his see you later back to their other version.

As soon both his feet touched the ground, the portal closed at his back and time moved again.

"Dad?" said a voice from the superior floors. Emily opened up the window, a splenderous smile illuminating her face. "And papa too? Is that really you?"

Alastor didn't want to keep holding Lucifer, so instead he greeted her with a wave from his shadow. Emily yelled to someone inside of the room with her and dissapeared from their sight. As Alastor moved again, Emily came out flying the window carrying an already crying Charlie on her arms to come crashing down on them. If it wasn't for his tentacles catching the two princess and bring them over moer gently, they could have ended in the floor.

"Papa!"

"Duckling! Sweetie!"

As his entire family hugged around him and started turning into fountains, including Emily, Alastor sighed. They were back at home, at last.

[seriouslysam8]

April Prompt #16: Holiday for @hinnymicrofic

Harry stood perfectly still, his hands shoved in his pockets and his chin jutted towards the ceiling. He started to count to ten but quickly realized that he would need to up the number to at least fifty to keep from shouting at his two eldest children. The simple fact that he felt the urge to yell at his children meant that they had managed to anger their father more than normal. Harry put up with a lot from his kids. He grinned and rolled his eyes at most of their pranks or lectured them until they were ridden with guilt when they would go too far. This… Harry closed his eyes and started to count to fifty.

His head pounded as he stood inside the International Portkey Office in the Ministry of Magic. They were supposed to catch a Portkey to New York City for Luna and Rolf’s wedding and then enjoy a holiday after. Harry was beginning to think that they would not make said Portkey.

“I cannot believe how irresponsible the two of you are!” Ginny exclaimed with her face as red as her hair, clenching her fists at her sides. “Of all the days you had to pull one of your silly little pranks, it has to be at the Portkey Office?”

Looking down, Harry stared at his children. Teddy and James squirmed under Ginny’s scolding. Albus snickered from his chair, his legs swinging in a steady rhythm. Lily leaned up against her father’s legs and huffed out a string of whines.

Turning his head, he watched as a team of custom agents rifled through their seven bags of luggage. Harry had tried to tell Ginny that she had packed too much for their week and a half holiday to America but she pretended not to hear him and continued to stuff the bags until they were ready to rip at the seams. He swore that he saw her place a Reinforcing Charm on at least two of the bags. Glancing down at his battered watch that once belonged to Fabian Prewett, Harry groaned. Their Portkey to New York was set to leave in ten minutes, and he wasn’t sure how they were going to catch it.

“I’m sorry, Auror Potter, but we have to search the bags after the… erm… the illegal fireworks went off,” the Head of the International Portkey Office explained as he shot him an apologetic smile and tugged on the collar of his robes. “If they catch wind of this in New York and found out we didn’t search your bags thoroughly… I mean, I’d be fired, you know.”

“If we miss our Portkey because of your fireworks prank, your bottoms won’t sit on a broomstick until you’re each seventy-five!” Ginny continued to rage.

“We weren’t trying to pull a prank!” Teddy exclaimed as he squirmed. “We wanted to take them to Luna and Rolf’s wedding and set them off. Uncle George said-”

Ginny’s eyes grew wide. “Why in Merlin’s name are you listening to your Uncle George? What have I always told you boys?”

“Err… if Uncle George thinks it’s a good idea, it probably isn’t?” James supplied.

“Never accept any prototypes from Uncle George?” added Teddy.

James furrowed his brow as he concentrated. “Never eat anything that Uncle George gives us?”

Ginny looked crazed as she shot a look over at Harry. He offered a smile that came out as a grimace. Harry looked down at his watch. They were down to eight minutes until their Portkey left.

Harry shifted his weight as he looked over at the Head of the International Portkey Office. “I don’t mean to use my position as Head Auror, but my family and I cannot miss this Portkey. It’s imperative that we make it tonight because the one tomorrow night leaves too late.”

“I’ll see what I can do, Auror Potter.”

Harry thanked him with a forced smile. He glanced down at his watch again. If they missed their New York City Portkey then they would certainly miss their Portkey to some place called the Finger Lakes where the actual wedding was taking place. It was to take them directly to the bed and breakfast where they were staying.

Ginny pointed a finger at the empty seats next to Albus. Teddy and James didn’t hesitate to obey the order. They slouched down into the chairs and tried to make themselves as small as possible. Lily let out another loud whine as Harry reached down to haul the small girl up into his arms.

Ginny crossed her arms over her chest as she stood next to Harry. “Your sons are going to be in so much trouble when we get home from America.”

Harry frowned. “Why are they always my sons when they do something wrong?”

Ginny bumped her hip against his. “Because you have a penchant for trouble that they seem to have inherited from you.”

Harry couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the statement, the corners of his lips tugging up. Ginny grabbed his wrist to look at the time and let out a string of swear words that Ron would be exceedingly proud of as the Portkey Office bought in a several more employees. Harry sank down into a chair next to Albus, wincing at the terrible start of their holiday.