#Irl i have a voice like him and most of the time ppl notice only the sound of my voice and not how I sing. I get the feeling that he gets

[ariseur]

Hello there! Thank you so much for addressing my request...I'm new to Tumblr app so I hope I'm messaging your inbox! So yes! I hope...this isn't too demanding. I anon requested zack x fair reader...and I'm gonna let it all hang out with you:

I simp for zack fair very very hard...and Im HUNGRY for fluff..all the gentle kisses, hair playing ...jawline holding, couch cuddling, sweet compliments, rainy days...holding...waist clutching, skin contact, lips grazing coffe sippinng...deep eye dinner dates, jokes , teasing silly ...I can handle!!! I don't do smut or too overly steamy. I'm too old for that shit

Maybe perhaps...on the opposite spectrum, zack boyfriend scenario, comforting s/o with anxiety...drying of tears, wiping tears away, consoling cuddling...hearing him hum reader to sleep...mentions of heartbeats being felt through chests....feeling of voice vibrations through MUSCULAR chest...comfort bare muscular arms , tender kisses...goosebumps...ok I'm sorry too demanding...if I'm blessed and you create chapters of like simple one date, fun.."friends to lovers" type of thing, casual playstation gaming hangouts, cooking dinner as friends...thinking of each other while away ..to eventually relationship and consoling s/o anxiety....full on love date..that close intimacy (i,crave safe for work) I'd wait FOREVER, however long it would take you to write chapters of joy....you'd be my hero!!!

I stress his scar (in my own ramblings i always place my finger tips on it, i kiss it gently, we discuss who gave it to him, how he feels about it).. Our first date I wear some tight fitting dress his favorite color, but as he gentlemanly removes my peacoat for the evening he notices I'm covered in tattoos, and he's memzmerized (I do have quite the collection of ink irl) he smells of sweet sandalwood and is wearing the black suit in that turks mod for remake... his eyes. I make my own feeble attempts at fanfic but I'm TOO new and insecure to really write anything as I REGULARLY indulge in AI chat and it proves so many USEFUL fever dream instances for me to write but for now...I let the experts handle it.

Should you accept, thank you for bringing JOY into my life....

Please do take your time...I know you amazing ppl are BUSY and mine isn't the only request and might even not be too interesting.

But I thank you so so so much...I've been searching for weeks ..no replies.

EPHEMERAL - ZACK FAIR (CHPT. ONE)

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ notes - omg!! i’m so sorry this has been sitting here for so long!! i’ve been trying to go about this and since i’m not that experienced with creating chapter fics, i decided— what the hell?? why not try it?? so— i hope i did somewhat of a good job and stay tuned for some more!!

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ warnings - none except one mention of suicide ( but like in a ‘social suicide’ way ), intended lowercase, you spar with zack as kids ( cardboard swords ) lmk if i missed anything 💕!!

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ word count - 2561 words, 13990 characters

STRENGTH. that was what mattered most in this world.

strength was a word you had learned in the first grade, sitting next to a snot-nosed kid babbling to his friends as he completely took up all your attention with his nasally voice in your ear. the teacher seemed to pay no mind, only engulfed in tapping her stubby chalk piece against the board, stained with dashes of residual white from the previous words that had been written earlier today, as she barely looked back at the rest of you.

you remembered it so vividly, the smell of the sanitizing wipes she had used during the twenty minutes recess you always anticipated, eager to escape the boring rants of mrs. ozaki and her slow paced curriculum. you remembered the knock you felt on your chair from behind you, soft as to not alert the teacher — as if she couldn’t hear the noisy kid blabbering next to you known as ono, although you only referred to him as, “booger-face.”

craning your neck and grabbing ahold of the side of your chair in order to turn further, you looked behind you only to see the half-toothless, sanguine kid you knew as zack fair. his dark hair, slicked back with only a few strands sticking out, probably from all the activity he did during your break at recess. you two had met earlier this year as he had defended you from the previous, aforementioned offender— ,”booger-face.” you had remembered the way zack stood over you, hands on his hips as he surged forward at the boy to stop him from pushing you around. his eyes, always so bright and lively, squinted at you with his smile as he helped you up and helped dust off your skirt.

after that moment, zack fair had started hanging around you more and more, inviting you to play around with his friends on the merry-go-round’s or hanging out with you after school, running around and playing with rocks or cardboard swords before your parents’ both called you in for dinner, to which you would hastily say goodnight run to your guys’ houses awaiting dinner.

removing his hands from your chair and placing them neatly on his desk, he beamed at you, “you still up for some training after school?”

you rolled your eyes as your lips twitched upwards into a small smile, “duh,” you said. you turned your body completely in order to to fully face him. “near the water still?”

he chimed in agreement, “duh,” his eyes crinkled with the way his grin widened, identical to the day he had practically saved you. he chuckled a little bit before fixing his posture and sitting upright in his seat, the wooden chair creaking as he readjusted his position. your eyebrows knitted together before you heard a stern shout of your name.

you flinched, whipping around back to face the front as your face burned hot with embarrassment. upon your turning of the body, you were met with the stares of your classmates and the hard glare of your teacher, fixated on only you now. her arm was no longer raised up and scribbling nonsense of vocabulary on the board, instead it hung low and remained against her thigh as she impatiently tapped the piece of chalk against her knee-length skirt. her lips, a light pink as they contrasted with the darkness of her tied hair, were pressed into a thin line before she asserted, “pay more attention, first warning.”

you nodded shamefully as you ducked your head down, grabbing your small wooden pencil and gripping it in your hand, as if you’d use it to jot down notes of whatever she was talking about— although it lay unused and useless for the remainder of class, only a placeholder of a ‘what if’ factor your teacher always liked to use when she began the period.

skeptically, she let her raised brow drop as stopped tapping the chalk against her leg, turning around and beginning to explain the curriculum planned for tomorrow again.

you tried to ignore the feeling of holes being burned at the back of your head, multiple pairs of eyes staring at your fork while you made your attempt at keeping your eyes forward and your mouth shut. you ignored the small, boyish giggles emitted from behind you, you’d ‘kick his butt’ outside of school, you thought. you’d get your payback, but for now — you sighed. keeping your hands interlocked, your faced your palms on another area of the desk, the foreign spot now cold against your warm skin. trying to act somewhat proper and behaved, you waited out the rest of class ( which was only presumably about twenty minutes ) just to find that sublime feeling of escaping the torturous ‘h-e-double hockey sticks’ that you referred to as school.

and you held up to that promise of kicking zack fair’s butt — watching as he stumbled backwards with his hands flailing in the air, a flimsy cardboard cutout of a sword gripped tightly in his hand as he let out a loud, “woahh—!”

you giggled, “what’d i tell you about that stance, zack?” you put a hand on your hip as he yelped in surprise. his foot slipped in the body of water, making an animated sound while he skidded across a rock, luckily able to catch his balance in time. you could hear the small chattering of the people near you, the rivers of gongaga rushing as your laughs continue and rise up into the quiet air.

“that’s not fair—! no water knocks!” he exclaimed.

you shrugged as he approached you once more, “you never said that before we started,” you chided. he charged forward at you, being blocked as you held your sword up in a protective expression. stepping backwards, your arm raised and lowered with every hit that the dark-haired boy threw at you, his confident face flashing between every brown whoosh of the cardboard weapons.

he heaved, “you know how mrs. ozaki kept talking about strongness or whatever?”

“you mean— strength?” another blocked hit, this time you tried to kick him and sweep the leg — unfortunately, you underestimated zack a little more than you had thought as he kept a firm hold in the cold dirt, digging his shoes into the ground.

“same difference, yeah?”

“what about it, fair?”

he pursed his lips as he tensed his body, waiting for you to strike again. you held off for a second, flinching as if you would hit in order to try to keep him off balance. zack decided to speak again in this momentary pause of your sparring. “i’ve been thinking about those SOLDIERs and.. i want to be strong— hey!” he exclaimed as you landed a surprise attack on him, barely grazing his not-so-ironed-anymore jeans before he deflected your hit. “now, that’s really uncalled for, c’mon.”

“finish your thought before i hit you again.” you quirked a brow.

he wore a smug look on his face, putting his hands on his hips while he shook his head at you. “didn’t hit me but ‘kay,” that smugness didn’t last long as you feigned waving your sword at him, only for him to let out a small yelp and jolt backwards. you smiled, quirking an expectant brow while he groaned in exasperation. “i wanna be strong too, y’know. have some— strength,” he said; and that was almost the end of it . . until he had managed to mutter a quick hiss of, “unlike you.”

you watched as his arm raised, the sleeve of his uniform’s button-up lifting up a little to reveal his tan line that he had obtained after being outside with you for so long. his hand gripped the thin handle while he went overhead to try and strike you from above. making haste, you took one more step back as your hands flew up to catch his attack with your own sword. in your imagination, with the collision of your toy weapons, you envisioned a loud, ‘clank!’ as they clashed with each other — it felt much more awesome-r to imagine sounds of iron versus the soft flap of refraining yourself from putting too much pressure on the thin material of the cardboard.

you grinned at him, watching as his determined face managed a crack of a smirk while he tried scaring you and randomizing the amounts of pressure he’d put in an attempt to try and catch you in a daze. however, the swiftness in which you jolted to the side and flipped your sword flat so that the tip faced outwards, thrusting the faux weapon and jabbing it into his chest caught him off guard, rendering him the loser of that evening’s battle.

you watched as zack carefully looked down at his stomach, then finally bringing himself to peer back up at you. he placed a hand on his chest while he acted like he really was injured, even going so far as have spit dribble out of his mouth and act like it was blood.

“gross—!” you exclaimed, pushing him as he fell on his back in the dirt and raised a dramatic hand to the sky. you laughed while he let out his ‘last dying breath’ before ceremoniously lolling his head to the side.

with some more giggles, you judged him with your foot as he magically arose from the ‘dead’ and beamed at you, reveling in your laughter. although, in that moment he wouldn’t tell you. he didn’t want to admit his growing crush on you, he didn’t want cooties. that was practically suicide. you extended a gentle hand out to him, throwing your sword to the side as he took your offer and hoisted himself up. zack brushed the dirt off of his pants while you cleaned his back up, still laughing about the whole encounter.

you claimed victory for a long while, even when you both had sat by the water and skipped rocks onto the cerulean river, now being painted a harsh lilac as the sun began to set and the heat of the sky began to cool, a soft breeze coming to rest upon your bodies rather than the draining, blistering sun.

you let a small beat of silence pass over the both of you, spinning the cold stone in your hand before chucking it into the water. your chest began to tighten, for a reason you don’t know why but you could feel it— crawling up your throat as it engulfed your esophagus. it creeped up the inside of you. almost as if you were gonna throw up, the pit in your stomach began to settle. you felt it, twitching on your tongue as it settled, trying to escape its enclosure from past your lips. you held it in for so long, fighting this battle you were so determined to win as you tried to focus on anything; the birds chirping around you, the rushing of the water, zack’s stone skipping across it. you tried to hold it in until—

“do you really think you’ll become a SOLDIER one day?”

the rock he had grabbed remained lifeless in his hands, his fingers tightening around it while he contemplated his options. he turned to you— dirt on his face and his smile, gapped with all the recent teeth he had been losing. he never faltered with that smile, you thought to yourself; and you never forgot what he had said to you after you asked that, “i’ll make sure of it.”

you smiled back at him, before it dropped once you had heard the calls of your name coming from the huts above the creek, where both of your homes had been located. with not another second, zack had already gotten up and running. he swiveled back to face you, waving a goodbye with his lanky arm before he shouted, “i’ll see you tomorrow!” but, of course, he wouldn’t be zack if he didn’t get hurt every now and then, you thought, as you watched him trip over a small rock. but— you realized, he also wouldn’t be zack if he didn’t get up afterwards. still, he turned his head to make sure you didn’t see only to discover you had ( much to his embarrassment ), before getting up and running back home again.

you laughed under your breath, “dork.”

and now, you’re still you. sitting in a bakery in nibelheim, you had almost never changed. well— besides the fact that you grew a couple of feet and wore a wider range of clothes than your school uniform and an old, colorful your grandmother had gifted you when you were five. you wore your hair differently and went out of your way to try and make a difference in the world; specifically by starting and doing some jobs around town and seeing if anybody needed help with those.. things — that would appear around town. the day zack left for midgar had stained your brain permanently, his hug leaving a mark on your body as you knew you might not see him again— even if you chastised ( or more so threatened ) him that he stay in contact with you no matter what.

although it was a few years ago already, you never forget about it, your mind always traveled back to that day at the river. grabbing another hold of your pastry, you admired the vibrant frosting as it created the symbol of a chocobo, not even able to take a bite in fear of ruining the perfect design. you watched the simple villagers of nibelheim float around their daily life while you stayed under the canopy in front of the shop, seated at a little table with the shade covering you from the heat of the sun. you remained bored as you tapped your foot and listened to the bustle of the small town before you heard pairs of assertive footsteps and the, ‘ooh’s and ‘aah’s of the people.

tilting your head upwards, you only assumed maybe a few flat footed people or some kids running around was the answer but no— you’re met with the sight of a long, silver haired man with wide, white should plates while a shinra infantryman accompanied him along with another SOLDIER, only this time in black armor. you had watched the town guide, and even with your fuzzy memory you think you had recalled her name was tifa.

you squinted at them, watching as the SOLDIERs looked around at the small village. you gasped as the SOLDIER with the darker uniform turned his head, those eyes were all too familiar, and that familiar cowlick that peeked out from his thick, black hair was all too distinct. putting down the pastry, your eyes narrowed even further almost as if you couldn’t believe what you were seeing. you watched as he turned his head, his full face on display as he beamed at the environment— his smile still the same besides the fact that all of his adult teeth had grown in and his jaw became more defined.

you sat upright, your lips quirking upwards as you felt that childish wonder grow as it had all those years ago like when you had first met him, brave and confident as ever when he had defended you.

“zack?”

[ashdumpsterpile]

Ohmygod YES Susan Pevensie is awesome please talk to me about Susan i want to know everything you have to say

Literally THANK YOU for asking me this bc Susan Pevensie is a character I never get asked about and I have So Many Opinions.

I'm going to start by saying that Susan used to be my least favorite character in the series. This goes for the books and the movies. Some of it was for personal reasons--she reminds me of a couple of annoying ppl I know irl--but it was also bc I watched Prince Caspian which shoehorned her into a relationship with Caspian which I hated.

HOWEVER. I ended up rethinking this position after interacting with Susan fans and realizing that there are so many wonderful things to love about her!

(putting under the cut bc this got long)

Things Ash Loves About Susan Pevensie

Aight I'm not going to do a formal analysis yet on her, but instead rant about some of the unrelated things I adore about Susan Pevensie.

Susan the Archer

Look we all love archery here. I don't have anything more to say.

Okay, I actually do have more to say. I love the fact that Susan is a complete badass with the bow. You get the general impression that she's one of the royals in charge of public relations, traditions, foreign policy, etc. and yet she's the most competent archer in the series. One of the few things I liked about the movies is how they didn't downplay this. They actually let her be a badass and show off her skills.

Also the part where she kicks Trumpkin's ass was awesome.

Susan the Gentle

Susan being the most passive Pevensie was something I definitely underappreciated as a teenager. I think my non-ability to see past "I'm not like other girls" narrative and the combination of Susan being described as the most traditionally feminine woman in the Narnia series is what initially turned me off from her.

HOWEVER, now it's one of my favorite attributes! I love that Susan is a badass and the most beautiful woman in Narnia. She has hair down to her feet, every man and woman in the kingdom want to fuck her, and she's still a fucking badass who will not hesitate to kick your ass.

Susan the Sister

Most of my thoughts of Susan as an older sister mostly stem from my own personal headcanons, but she is an awesome sister to her siblings. She's Peter's voice of reason, Edmund's sass partner, and Lucy's big sister.

Susan the Mom-Friend

She is a literal mother-figure for Corin.

"[...] the most beautiful lady he had ever seen rose from her place and threw her arms round him and kissed him, saying: "Oh Corin, Corin, how could you? And thou and I such close friends ever since thy mother died. [...]"

-The Horse and His Boy, 33-34

Most everything I have to say about this ventures into headcanon territory, but I love the idea of Susan basically adopting Corin after his mom dies. The way she trusts Cor--who she thinks is Corin in this chapter--is really sweet and I wish we could've seen more of that relationship.

Susan the Flawed

Something I notice from the fandom is a lot of people who hate Susan tend to because of her flaws. On the other hand, most Susan stans like to wave away these flaws and blame C.S. Lewis for being misogynistic or Aslan for being a "cruel god" and ignore the fact that she is a deeply flawed person.

Susan gets something of a "reverse redemption arc" in The Chronicles of Narnia. This makes her not only a fascinating foil to Edmund--as both are analytical, logical people--but an interesting character by herself.

She starts out in TWW as very skeptical of Narnia and it's whole deal and also very condescending to Lucy throughout. She ultimately does admit that Lucy was right and does get on board with the whole prophecy at the same time Peter does, and ends the book being crowned "the Gentle Queen."

In The Horse and His Boy, she has a very interesting dynamic with Edmund and in even more interesting relationship with Rabadash. They don't even interact on-page with each other, but it's highly implied that she was interested in him when he was a guest in Narnia. His behavior obviously changed when she visited him in Tashbaan, but you have to wonder what their dynamic was like before for her to travel all the way to his home when relations between the countries were strained at best.

Prince Caspian is where the cracks start showing through. Susan has lived an entire life as an adult in Narnia, gets thrown back to England with her siblings, and is yet again in Narnia as a child. This book is what really emphasizes her one fatal flaw: convenience.

(Put a pin in that thought, I'll get back to it.)

Susan denies once again that Lucy saw something that the rest of them can't seen. She continues this narrative until every other sibling finally acknowledges Lucy in the right and only then does she apologize.

The last mention of Susan is in The Last Battle, where all of her flaws rise up against her in the worst way possible. I have a lot of controversial opinions on this that I'm going to address later, but I just want to say that Susan's reverse-redemption arc is something I actually like about her.

(There is also evidence that Susan does get a full redemption arc, just as Edmund and Eustace did, but C.S. Lewis was pretty much done with The Chronicles of Narnia at the point and instead encouraged fans to write their own version of how that went down.)

Okay, back to convenience being Susan's fatal flaw. So the one thing that comes up time and time again in the series is that Susan is very focused on material comforts. I believe it's implied that she's vain, and it's canonical that her own personal comfort spurs her to make decisions.

"[...] I really believed it was him — he, I mean — yesterday. When he warned us not to go down to the fir wood. And I really believed it was him tonight, when you woke us up. I mean, deep down inside. Or I could have, if I'd let myself. But I just wanted to get out of the woods and — and — oh, I don't know [...]"

Prince Caspian, 81

Prince Caspian has the strongest examples of Susan doing this, but certainly there's evidence elsewhere. There are a lot of fans who are distressed by this, claiming that Aslan and the others are too hard on her and shouldn't judge.

Honestly, I like that she's written with this flaw. Not only is it very relatable--(my own personal comfort and convenience is something I highly prioritize too)--but it humanizes a character who otherwise is ridiculously op and basically the Helen of Troy of the series. It may sound like I'm using this as an excuse to rant, but I really wouldn't have her any other way.

Susan As Portrayed by Anna Popplewell

Movie!Susan is a fucking delight.

She's sarcastic and badass and awesome and I could spend hours heaping praise on Anna's acting and her portrayal of Susan, but I can already tell that this post is going to be long so, I'll just stop here.

(10/10 want to be stabbed by her tho.)

Personal Headcanons

Let's talk about my fanon thoughts. I have many.

Susan is Aro

There's canonical evidence for this! Susan is a character who is heavily pursued by suitors everywhere, and even lets herself be courted by many of them, but chooses not to settle down. Even when she gets back to England and is described as only having interest in parties and material things, boys aren't mentioned.

I like to think that in The Horse in His Boy Susan was interested in Rabadash at first because he was a brilliant conversationalist. Nothing she says about him implies romantic interest, before and after she realizes the truth of his intentions.

Susan and Edmund Were Best Friends

This might be my love for The Horse and His Boy showing itself, but I think Susan and Edmund were thrown into circumstances where they interacted the most with each other.

Edmund is the ruler in charge of politics. Susan is the ruler in charge of Cair Paravel's public image. I imagine they spent time as ambassadors to other countries and planning royal functions.

They're also the most level-headed and logical out of their siblings, so they probably found a lot in common.

Susan Fancast

I literally just said I loved Anna's potrayal of Susan's (and I love what they gave us of older Susan too in LWW!), but I read the books in 2008 and my parents didn't let me see the movies bc I was like...nine years old and they thought it would be too scary.

So I had to headcanon my own interpretations.

Queen Susan the Gentle:

For some reason Merlin wasn't too scary for me to watch and I fell in love with Katie McGrath in like. Two episodes so. (On an unrelated note, I also fancast Bradley James as Peter at the time.)

Anyway, fanon Susan is basically Morgana Pendragon pre-evil arc. Sassy as hell, hot as fuck, and can kick your ass.

Unpopular Opinions

Yeah, feel free to skip this part if having controversial fandom opinions is a deal breaker for you.

The Problem With Susan Isn't Actually A Problem

I'm about to start so much discourse in the Narnia fandom, but C.S. Lewis's choices with her in The Last Battle weren't misogynistic. Bear in mind, I'm not saying that all of his writing choices in the series were A++ or excusing away certain racist/sexiest bits, but it's honestly baffling to me that people are so up in arms over Susan's exclusion in the final book.

So the part that everyone loses their shit over is as follows:

"My sister Susan," answered Peter shortly and gravely, "is no longer a friend of Narnia."

"Yes," said Eustace, "and whenever you've tried to get her to come and talk about Narnia or do anything about Narnia, she says 'What wonderful memories you have! Fancy your still thinking about all those funny games we used to play when we were children.'"

"Oh Susan!" said Jill, "she's interested in nothing now-a-days except nylons and lipstick and invitations. She always was a jolly sight too keen on being grown-up."

"Grown-up, indeed," said the Lady Polly. "I wish she would grow up. She wasted all her school time wanting to be the age she is now, and she'll waste all the rest of her life trying to stay that age. Her whole idea is to race on to the silliest time of one's life as quick as she can and then stop there as long as she can."

The Last Battle, 83-84

There's a lot to unpack here and I first want to say that everyone's opinion on this part, no matter how different than mine, is valid. I'm going to be quoting some other ppl's opinions on here and by no means am I bashing them. I just want to address my feelings on the matter and the best way to do that is to cite the thoughts of ppl who have opposing ideas.

Here are some arguments on Tumblr I've heard regarding "The Problem of Susan":

"How about we talk about what might have happened if Narnia hadn't deserted Susan? [...] What if we didn't tell Susan she had to go grow up in her own world and then shame and punish her for doing just that? She was told to walk away and she went. She did not try to stay a child all her life, wishing for something she had been told she couldn't have again."

"Narnia is filled with metaphors (often not very subtle ones) that are supposed to teach us how to be, and the most glaring one for any young girl to absorb is that it's okay to be a girl like Lucy, unthreatening and cheerful and valiant and faithful, but to be a girl like Susan gets you punished - in fact, you aren't just punished, you're destroyed."

"why do we call it ‘the problem’ where’s the problem about a young woman dealing with her trauma and choosing her own path, actively making the choice to keep living and to stay and to carve a life out in England when her siblings couldn’t? what is the problem about susan forgetting to somehow cope with what she’s experienced? why is it ‘the problem of susan’ that she recontextualised her faith?"

And then there's JK Rowling who said this:

There comes a point where Susan, who was the older girl, is lost to Narnia because she becomes interested in lipstick. She's become irreligious basically because she found sex. I have a big problem with that.

It's weird how I'm still finding new ways to hate JKR in the year 2021. Again, there is absolutely zero implication that Susan had sex when she came back to England. ZERO. Did she actually read the books? IDK. If someone shares this opinion pls reply with actual canonical evidence.

Back on topic, I'm a firm believer of death of the author and interpreting art via your own experiences. Which is why I'm also going to share my own interpretation by saying y'all are wrong.

Susan Pevensie was not abandoned by Narnia. She was not barred from Narnia because she is traditionally feminine or because she "owned her sexuality" (another opinion I didn't have time to condense down for this post) or because she recontextualized her faith or even because she deserved to be punished.

I also fail to see how Susan recontexualized her faith, as the entire point of it all is that she has none. Bringing this back to Susan's fatal flaw (personal convenience/material comforts), her prioritizing herself over her own faith is the reason she is "no longer a friend of Narnia." Not...whatever fanon y'all are imposing on her character.

Susan is not being punished for liking lipstick and looking pretty. Susan's not even being punished. Y'all read Neil Gaiman's The Problem of Susan and forgot it wasn't canon.

There are many reasons Susan is not in Aslan's Country (one of them being that she's not actually dead yet), but the main one has to do with this:

"[...] But there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name. This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there.”

Voyage of the Dawn Treader, 215-216

Yeah, okay that's why Susan is no longer a friend of Narnia. The implication when the Pevensies are told that they can no longer enter Narnia is that they are to find Aslan in other places. Susan doesn't do this, instead choosing to focus her life on material things. It isn't the lipstick, it's that she only wants the lipstick.

Susan Had Sex In The Books

Oh and not in the context y'all are thinking. (Again, there are no implications that Susan was barred from Narnia for having sex or that she had sex when she came back to England.)

So there's actual canonical evidence that Susan and Rabadash had a sexual relationship. Sort of.

"What think you? We have been in this city fully three weeks. Have you yet settled in your mind whether you will marry this dark-faced lover of yours, this Prince Rabadash, or no?"

-The Horse and His Boy, 35

Edmund calls Rabadash her lover. Not her suitor. I don't know if the word had a different meaning in 1954, but it feels like C.S. Lewis is saying that they're fucking. I'm not really happy with the idea of Susan sleeping with an abuser, but really proud of her for Getting Some as a woman born in a time period where having premarital sex was a big no-no.

This also invalidates the weird opinion going on that Susan was barred from Narnia because she had sex.

Suspian Is The Worst

I haven't really talked about Movie!Susan much, but as long as we're talking unpopular opinions, it's worth noting that I hate Suspian. Some of it is the "Susan is Aro" headcanon screaming inside of me, but it's also the fact that it's written poorly, does nothing interesting for either character and generally comes across as awkward.

I feel like they were trying to make Prince Caspian sexy and relevant to teens. It came across as super heteronormative and unnecessary.

It also gets really really weird bc the next movie then gives Caspian and Edmund mad chemistry and we're all just like........ok.

Final Thoughts

Susan may not be my favorite character in the series, but she's grown on me over the years. I have many issues with fanon interpretations of her--which definately fueled some of my disdain for her initally--and I don't identify as a Susan Apologist.

I do however adore Susan and have many headcanons for her not mentioned here. I love reading fanfic, writing fanfic and meta, and generally having conversations about her and would love to talk more about it.

I welcome criticism (CONSTRUCTIVE) and conversation on all of my opinions and observations. Please drop into my inbox. <3

[realcube]

comfort hcs 💗 feat. overworked! reader

characters: yaku, oikawa, yams & akaashi

trigger warning: swearing

thank you to anon for this sweet request!

morisuke yaku

♡ he has concerned mom energy to i feel like he’d notice that you’re overworking yourself before starts negatively effecting you 

♡ once he figures out that you’re actually stressed and he’s not just being paranoid, he will probably hold an intervention where is like ‘sit down, let’s have a cha--’

♡ but you just push him out the way to grab your coat, ‘sorry, sweetheart. i don’t wanna miss my bus!’

♡ DFRTYJUHG he just stood there like a statue looking at you like (●__●) this bitch-

♡ anyway, once you come back from uni/college/school/ work etc yaku insists that you need to sit down and discuss your problems with him 

♡ then you’re kinda just like ‘what problems?????’

♡ also, after what happened that morning, yaku was not taking ‘no’ as an answer

♡ no matter what you say 

♡ homework? you can do that later

♡ chores? he’ll do them for you if you just listen to him

♡ hungry? you can eat while you listen to him

♡ showering? you smell fine!

♡ so yeah, he will pick you up and carry you to the living room if he has to

♡ he’s probably really serious about the issue bc your feelings aren’t a joke to him but he lined up your favourite plushies on the couch so he could talk to them as a third party when you disagreed with him

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

“i study in moderation! and i have not been neglecting our relationship; i just need to focus on my studies!” you tutted, averting your gaze from yaku’s as you thought about his accusation; did he really feel as though you had been taking him for granted? because of course, that wasn’t your intention at all and the more you thought about it, the more you realise that perhaps he was right.

yaku rolled his eyes at your response, quite enraged by your dismissive tendencies but he didn’t want to take his anger out on you so he simply turned to the kiiroitori plush that sat beside him, “duck, do you think (l/n) has been overworking themselves and ignoring both of us?”

kiirotori was forced by yaku’s hand to nod in response.

you snorted slightly before trying to furrow your eyebrows in anger once again, “their name is kiiroitori!” 

tōru oikawa

♡ dsfghjkl ngl he clearly overworks himself too so he wouldn’t even notice 

♡ he’s like ‘oh, you’re spending hours upon hours of a day - losing sleep and energy - to dedicate yourself solely to one thing so you can be perfect at it??? that’s completely normal!’

♡ spoiler alert, it’s not

♡ it’d probably take a third-party to point that what you are both doing isn’t healthy (either iwaizumi or a therapist)

♡ then you’d both look at each other like ⚆_⚆ wut 

♡ anyway recovery time ig ✨

♡ he’d definitely just try distract you whenever he sees you studying/training/practising

♡ forget overwork, he doesn’t even let you work 

♡ oh and y’all have started having ‘lazy days’ once a month where you make it a point to nothing but each other :))

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you both stared at the television, pretending to be absolutely engrossed by jumanji. however, once you let out your fifth sigh that minute, oikawa could tell that you were just as disinterested as he was so he peered over his shoulder to look at you, “this is so boring.” 

you nodded, shuffling closer to him so he could drape his arm around your shoulder and bury his nose into your hair. “it’s so hard to just sit here and do nothing when i know that i have a lot to do, y’know?”

oikawa hummed in agreement, “but it’s nice to finally spend some quality time with you, angel.” he placed a kiss on your temple, scooting awkwardly in his seat before pulling you down to lay down next to him on couch. 

“yeah,” you purred, happily falling onto the soft cushions while in oikawa’s embrace, “i’ve suddenly had a change of heart - i love these lazy days.”

“that was fast.”

tadashi yamaguchi

♡ it would take him a wile to built up the courage to actually express his concern about you overworking yourself

♡ but until then, he’ll show them in more subtle ways

♡ like if he sees you working at your desk - whether your posture is straight or not - he’ll rush up to you and massage your shoulders/back while talking

♡ he always sends you goodnight texts and gets v snappy when you text him in the middle of the night 

♡  ‘tadashi, what did you get for number five on the maths hw?’

♡ if he opens the message and notices that you sent that crazy late at night or the ass crack of dawn, he’ll lose his shit

♡  ‘(Y/N) WHY WERE U UP AT 3AM DOING MATHS HW LITERALLY GO TO SLEEP’

♡ he forces himself to ask you out on dates irl so that if you use work/training/practise etc as an excuse..he can give the puppy eyes 🥺

♡ don’t get me wrong, he’s not manipulative at all but you just overwork yourself so much he think that the teeniest tiniest little bit of fun wouldn’t do you any harm 

♡ he literally cares for you so much and he just wants you to be healthy and happy like is that too much to ask ಥ_ಥ

♡ it would take him 3 months of mental preparation to confront you but he’d do it eventually lol

♡ he’d still be super duper nervous though 👉👈

  ♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

“(y/n).” yamaguchi’s soft voice rang quietly through the hallway before he stuck his head inside your room in search for you. he let out a sigh upon noticing that - like always - you were sitting at your desk, drowning in papers of schoolwork. 

he hurriedly approached you, suddenly throwing his arms around your shoulders as he hid his face in the crook of your neck before wailing, “(y/n)! i know it’s none of my business but i just think you work yourself way too hard and i see how sleepy you are all the time and you didn’t even eat the cupcakes i made you because you were too busy studying - i thought you loved my cupcakes!”

your eyes widened at the sudden contact and the string of words yamaguchi was babbling in your ear; but you semi-understood what he was getting at. so you steadily turned around to wrap your arms around his neck and rub his spine reassuringly, “i am so sorry, tadashi. i had no idea i was worrying you.”

he shook his head against the skin of your neck, “it’s fine, i worry about everything.” he joked before changing to a more serious tone, “it’s just that-- i think you should care more about yourself. take some time to relax once and a while, y’know?”

his sweet words resulted in your lips curling to a smile while his arms wrapped securely around your body brought you a much-needed feeling of peace, “alright, i’ll try.”

“good.” yamaguchi chirped, pecking your forehead then positioning his face where it was prior, going back to enjoying the feeling of your soft skin agaist his. “-so, are you gonna eat the cupcakes or”

keiji akaashi 

♡ he overworks himself too

♡ if anything, i think he’d praise you for being ‘hard-working’ at first ‘:)

♡ but once he notices how much you work and how negatively it’s effecting your mental/physical health, he’ll intervene

♡ like yamaguchi, i think he’d start small by subtly doing things to reverse the effects of your stress 

♡ and simultaneously, it kinda helps him too

♡ for example, if you get stress ance, he’ll do a bunch of research on the best skin treatments for it, buy the products then do facemasks with you + create a whole new nightly skincare routine for both of you 

♡ or if your not taking care of yourself properly, he’ll book you both in for a spa appointment 

♡ or if you’re tense, he’ll get you both massages from those professional ppl that make you strip naked

♡ when they make you get your tiddies out, you know they are a professional  masseuse

♡ and he’ll take out on ten times more just to help you relax

♡ also, they’re always slow-paced dates bc like ofc akaashi takes you out to the park/beach for picnics....does he seem the sort of guy to take you bowling?? no.

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you sighed as akaashi brought a spoon up to your lips, looking at you expectantly but you simply whined, “keiji, i should be at home studying right now. you know my exam in 5 months, right?” though akaashi wanted to believe you were joking, the seriousness in your voice made it clear that you genuinely thought 5 months was a short period of time - even considering all the work you’ve already done in preparation for it. 

so akaashi simply shrugged in response, continuing to prod your lip with the spoon until you parted you lips, allowing the pudding he made to enter your mouth. then, he pulled it out lower it to observe your pouty expression for a moment; you were so cute that he couldn’t help but smile softly. 

“i’m sure you’ll do fine, sweetheart. i believe in you.” he said, gripping your waist before placing a tender kiss on your cheek. “for now, let’s enjoy this perfect weather. it only comes around once a year, so why not make the most of it, hm?” 

before you were able to reply, akasshi utilized the hand  the had on your waist to pull you back onto the picnic blanket with him, so you were both looking up at the pale blue sky, decorated with delicate clouds. “what do you see?” he inquired, gesturing up to the shapes the clouds formed.

you snickered, slowly intertwining your finger with his as you examined the sky for any familiar shapes or silhouettes in the sky. “oh!” you exclaimed, lifting your index finger to point to a particular cloud adorning the sky, “that kinda looks like my maths professor in a gallon hat.” 

akaashi snorted, “i have no idea what your maths professor looks like but alright.”

you laughed, lowing your finger but not everting your gaze from the special cloud you spotted, “what about you, babe? what do you see?”

with a moment of hesitation, akaashi immediately replied, “an angel.”

your eyes scanned across the sky for a cloud in the shape on an angel but you simply couldn’t find the one he was referring to, so you whipped your head to the side to see where he was pointing, only notice that his eyes were fixated on you. 

“y-you’re such a simp, keiji.”

[rainbowsky]

More on the Fan Fic issue

I have a few more asks about the issue raised the other day, some of which are long and go into detail on the 'wars' that have been happening on Twitter and AO3.

Sorry for grouping these but I wanted to put it all under a cut because these are long, and also in case people don't want to dig into these issues (which would be understandable).

Anonymous 1 asked:

"I am very strongly of the opinion that the BJYX term is still a fandom umbrella term" I agree. Mainly because Bjyx is the most popular. Many antis always say bjyx, and have no idea the others. So sometimes it's easier just to say bjyx instead of explaining all three. I myself more like "who cares as long as they happy." So I enjoy Yizhan in all contexts. Many bxgs I know also like that, mostly ibxgs. I think deep down all bxgs (no matter which position they prefer) just want Yizhan to be happy

Not sure we can be so certain about that last part, Anon (I think for a lot of people GG and DD are just characters in a smutty story they have in their heads), but I agree about the term being popular regardless of the type of fans people are.

From what I can see the BJYX term seems to be used 80-90% umbrella, 10-20% dynamic in both international and c-social media (for every 10 times you see the term used, only one or two of those usages - probably less - are referring to a dynamic). This is my totally unscientific estimation, but I think even 10-20% dynamic is being generous. The number of people who are fixated on a sexual dynamic aren't nearly as large as they'd like to believe.

Anonymous 2 asked:

about the promptfests - i’ve been on twitter since early 2020 and what i’ve noticed is that this influx bjyx-only promptfests started gaining speed once lots of rational voices started leaving the fandom recently either because a) new interests have caught their attention or b) the toxicity of the popular bxg circles on twitter have become too much to handle.

gdgdbaby was usually the organizer of dynamic-inclusive events, and she’s received lots, and lots, and lots of backlash by bxg, sometimes even by accounts with thousands followers, for using bjyx as a catch-all term. and as her interest in yizhan has since waned—hopefully for reasons unrelated to fandom toxicity—many of the people who were attracted to the welcoming environment she created distanced themselves as well.

zsww/lsfy fans have become an outnumbered circle who try their best to create exclusive events to avoid the “is bjyx a catch-all term” discourse, but never seem to gain as much traction as gdgdbaby (who has a sizeable following) or those who host bjyx-only events (who also have sizeable followings).

meanwhile the dynamic war has only become more and more hostile and bjyx is clearly the more populated group… ao3 is simply a battlegrounds, if i may dramatize the situation a little for the sake of humor, and the promptfests are a reaction to this irritating t/b discourse that has made bxg twitter completely inhospitable for me…and lots of other fans too.

(i’ve also noticed a huge reinforcement as of recently where ppl will call gg laopo, a milf, an omega, etc even outside of rpf (i.e. posting pictures of him at events and saying he looks pregnant or he’s going into heat) and it’s just… uncomfortable.)

(also please note i have a biased account of all of this drama bc many of my friends were harassed over it, and anyone who disagrees with my take may feel free to interject.)

I took the liberty of adding paragraph breaks because they are pretty important for some readers, particularly ND readers like me.

It's sad to hear how fucked up everything has become, but I'm not even remotely surprised. Toxicity leads to toxicity, and the whole idea of dividing up a RP fandom by sex position was misguided from the outset - no matter why it was done or how good the intentions might have been.

And yes, like I said, these people aren't just framing things this way for fan fic. This is how they talk about IRL GGDD.

I had written a lengthy essay here about homophobia in the fandom but deleted it all. Perhaps I'll post it separately at some later point. Suffice it to say that this stuff creates a climate that's often hostile for queer people. So much of it is deeply homophobic, whether people are aware of it or not.

It's really sad to hear about gdgdbaby being mistreated in any way. Anyone who steps up and sticks their neck out to help organize and coordinate activities that benefit a broader group of people should be celebrated and supported, not run out of town by an angry mob.

I've read some of her stories and even have one or two on my rec list. And here's someone who is not only writing good works, but also supporting others to write more good works. Such a shame.

Anonymous 3 asked:

Hello Mr. RBS! I think I can chime in a bit about the fanfic topic as I’ve watched this all unravel on twitter (where a majority of authors/readers are). I apologize if this gets long but it’s been something that’s also been on my mind.

I want to preface this by saying that I’m not a fan of the distinctions of dynamics as, like you said, the supposed line between real life and fanfic is long gone, so I’m not trying to be biased against one group over another.

Short answer to the question of, “is this retaliation?” : I do believe it is. (From here onwards I’ll be using bjyx as the dynamic term just for the ease of simplicity.) To understand why, I’ll have to explain with a bit of background info. On twitter, I’d say that there’s a quite large divide between bjyx and zsww/lsfy. That itself isn’t really a problem because people are free to like what they like and associate with whoever.

However there is a big problem where bjyx people are not just bjyx but also anti-zsww/lsfy. To the point where I’ve seen people say that they feel physically ill when they accidentally read zsww. I don’t think this type of behavior should exist in any dynamic bc in the end GGDD are real people with a real relationship behind this content and it’s just a gross fetishization at that point.

With all this happening, zsww/lsfy people have gotten more outspoken on how GG is often portrayed in those types of scenarios, mainly the over-feminization of him, bc it’s not just done in the context of fanfic but regular discussion of GGDD at this point. This tension between the dynamics kind of boiled over when the pregnant xz fest was announced, as you can take a guess at how that went over with zsww/lsfy people. lol.

But around that same time, another zsww/lsfy event was announced (I’m not sure if it’s the one anon was talking about) but the creator of the event suddenly got a ton of backlash for excluding bjyx, with the reasoning that bjyx is technically a part of lsfy. But the event was done to highlight zsww/lsfy (as all specific events are) bc the community and content for these dynamics are much less than bjyx.

Which is how we come back to the starting point of, is all this recent bjyx stuff retaliatory. I believe so bc the events (preg fest, dark event) are very specific prompts that target exactly what zsww/lsfy people have been outspoken against.

As to the point anon made about trying to drown out the tags, keep in mind that zsww/lsfy content is very minimal compared to bjyx and has only just recently started to gain more traction. I think most people would love to just peacefully exist in their own circles but I don’t see this problem between dynamics disappearing anytime soon.

Like I said with the above Anon, I've added paragraph breaks for ND readers.

What a mess.

I have absolutely nothing useful to say here about the fandom on AO3 and how it's managed by community members, but I do think it's unfortunate that people choose to be war-like rather than make space for diverse voices, and I think it's a real shame that some people have been essentially run out of the fandom because of this garbage.

Thanks for giving some context for how/why the major shift in tone of fan fic lately. I had no idea any of this was going on.

I urge people to work hard to give space for all voices and perspectives, and not just the ones they favor. I'd also urge people to reflect on how their thoughts, behavior and actions in the fandom might affect queer people in the fandom.

As always, we have no control over what other people do, say or think. All we have any control over is how we respond to what other people do, say or think. Hopefully we'll chose the path of peace and try to avoid fan wars or fights that only ruin the experience for everyone.

I guess one thing I'd ask any of the Anons who have written me about this issue - or anyone who has thoughts about it - is, what can we as readers/fans who care about diversity of voices and perspectives do to support that here and on AO3, without getting involved in any kind of war?

[voidcat]

– “Friend” is a four letter word

Characters: Kuroo Tetsurou / gn! reader

requested by anon, prompt 1

wc & genre: 2k - mostly fluff, a bit angst by the end

a/n: the title is literally a 1 trait danger song title, pls dont come @ me, i just thought it was nice to use bc “love” is a four letter word so yea,, also pls dont ship ppl irl or ask them too many Qs abt their relationshio even if they look so good together n should date bc it is rlly rlly annoying (speaking from experience)

The first you meet Kuroo Tetsurou, you don’t even notice.

It’s not surprising, he’s quiet and doesn’t gather attention. You don’t go looking around and keeping an eye on everyone either. The most is you’re just two fish in the vast sea, unaware of one another, too tangled with your own lives.

Then comes a moment, nothing special, almost out-of-a-movie type. It begins with a joke, if it can be considered that. It’s bad, awfully bad, a horrible pun in the middle of chemistry and from the volume of the voice you can tell they hoped no one would hear. But you do, so does few who sit next to him and your giggles dance around in the air. You don’t notice it’s him at that time but you grow to recognize his jokes in the following time.

Kuroo Tetsurou feels like a mystery when your eyes lie on him one afternoon. He’s not bad looking, a part of a sports team, a key member even. And yet compared to all the other jocks he doesn’t bask in the attention, in fact, he doesn’t receive any. Others like to brag and talk smug, as if they’ve discovered life in an inhabitable area and then there’s him. You can’t even tell he plays in the team if it’s not for the uniform and tracksuit he’s in after classes.

You think to yourself, if only jocks were like him. Still, you take no step and neither does he.

Maybe neither of you need to because the universe is more than happy to provide the nudge you both seem to need.

Funny enough it’s a science project that starts it.

He’s too quiet to your liking, speaking only when absolutely necessary. As you desperately try to kill the silence that hangs in the air, he avoids it as hard, making so little sound.

An idea comes as fast the lights are on and you speak before you even get to think ‘what’s there to lose?’

“No science puns for me? What happened, cat got your tongue?”

To say he is baffled, is the understatement of the year. You’re not sure if he’s surprised you’ve heard him joke or want to hear more of them; but either way, he looks cute, with his guard down, at a loss of reaction, mouth slightly open and – is that a hint of blush on his cheeks?

It only goes upwards from then on.

Awkward conversations is how it begins, seeking each other out in close environments is where you’re leaded.

You find yourself enjoying the way he talks, listening to what he has to say, the way his face brightens up when he starts talking out of pure interest. You only hope he feels the same way about you, and from the way he often discreetly directs you to take the lead and pick the topic, he does.

In a short span of time, you two are attached from the hip. Inseparable, always doing something, going somewhere, discussing a thing or just laughing. Shy smiles replaced with a Cheshire-like grin, almost ironic considering your school’s name, that’s only a new expression on him that you like to see.

It feels freeing, natural; as the sea sighs, the rain drops hit the surface and the sun shines. Two peas in a pod, thick as thieves, inseparable…

This goes beyond high school and throughout university too, which you’re grateful for. Because times come when you wonder where would you be without him, what would you do without his support; so you thank the stars once again, for having him in your life even today.

Then comes the times you wish you didn’t spend as much time together because the people around are being insufferable. All you want is to hang out with your best friend but half that time is stolen away by the never changing questions. Those who keep asking if you’re together, as an item. As if it doesn’t rub the salt in the already existing wound, it sure makes things unbearable. Getting approached by people you never saw before is no fun, neither is dealing with those who have the audacity to think you owe an explanation about your love life.

“But why? The two of you spend all the time together! Sure you must be in love!”

As if platonic relationships do not exist, surely do you have to love someone in that way to care for them? Loving Tetsu is a case that matters to only you, you’re happy knowing he cares for you, maybe not in the way as you but at the end of the day, the bond is there in plain sight, on your sleeve.

“But you guys would look so good together! Have you given dating a try? I’m sure it’d work out! I understand if you want to keep things a secret but come on, you must have had something going on-“

Stop, stop, stop…

It gets exhausting after a while, showing its signs on you, the irritation high and your nerves are at the edge, he notices it not long after.

After a little persuasion, you spill it all out, ranting about the pent up anger you had bottled all week –month maybe. You don’t notice the way his shoulders slump as you talk and go on about the stupidity of the people. It misses your attention how he talks less than usual that day, even after the mini ranting session. You do, however, notice how he starts to act strange around you. More preserved, and not as chatty as much. Holding his touch and avoiding contact, not going out of his way to approach you any longer. This drives you crazy, hurts a part of you and you worry –what if he has grown bored of me? Did I do something to hurt his feelings? Does he like someone and avoids me to get in their eye? What has happened, what did I do wrong? And goes and goes and goes the worries and the dynamics shift in your friendship.

So with the change of dynamics, you try desperately to hold onto what you once shared. Soon enough it’s you who invites the other to outings.

When your coffee offers are denied, you bring up walks, after that study dates, as he tries to ignore one attempt of alone time, you come up with another and one evening you find yourself asking to go to a party.

Campus parties with him, are interesting, to say the least. It stings when you’re separated, a punch to the stomach when he’s awfully close to those who were flirting with him, a new kind of torture when he keeps his talks with you short at the scene but at the end of the day you always leave, together, and you settle with this too, as you settled with all his love you could get years ago.

Some nights with booze apparent in the air, you don’t bug him with questions but each party gets worse somehow, only makes the distance between the two harder.

One night you snap and let it all out, unlike that afternoon it wasn’t an asked question but an aftereffect of him pushing your nerves and once you begin, you don’t stop, letting the storm out and he just looks at you.

You stop and his gaze stays, face devoid of any emotion and you worry, all the words you’ve said dawning on you and with one last attempt you whisper “Aren’t we friends?”

Voice calm and stern, colder than that icy cocktail you had: We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.

Holding back the tears by the corner of your eyes, you blink once and turn your back, steps set on your way. You can’t recall the last time you’ve walked home alone, without him.

Some time passes, days begin to blur and you try not to dwell on things too much or think about him that much. But the brain is a traitor as much as your heart and you find yourself thinking about him too much to your liking. Not sure whether you want him to find you, you keep an eye out; maybe plan to get out of the eye sight when you spot that messy hair but there’s not much need as he’s never around.

At the same time you’re unaware that this is his way of giving you a break, providing the alone time you needed away from him; as Tetsu tries his best to gather his thoughts and shape the sentences to show how he truly feels, what he actually thinks, he keeps an eye out for you. Even the smallest of smiles on you making his racing heart worse but what lands the final blow is how rarely you smile these days. Knowing he is the reason behind, knowing he causes the weight on your shoulders and the ache in his heart, he wishes more than anything to change this as soon as he can but he is at a loss of words and actions and he hates himself for that.

When the two of you are brought together once again, as fate pushes you from behind like it did years ago, you’re not sure who looks up first. But it is Tetsu who speaks first, not giving you a chance to say anything back, call him names or yell him insults. And as he talks, eyes focused on you, locked into yours, his gaze warmer than ever, his voice nothing like that disastrous night.

“I know I fucked up and ruined the best thing I’ve ever had in my life. I have nothing to blame but myself, I know, but please. Even though it’s selfish of me to ask this… Would you give me a second chance?”

Letting go of the breath you were holding, you prepare to answer him. He doesn’t let you.

“One last chance… To start over? Because that one sentence, as cold as it sounded, had a truth to it. And I- I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t go on and pretend like I don’t have- like I don’t have all these feelings in me. I can’t nod along to your rants about how much you hate the people perceiving the two of us as more than friends. ‘Cause you got to admit. They have a point. Maybe at the beginning, yes... But we’ve not been friends, not for a long while. And you know it too whether you want to say it or not.”

As if spoken without breathing once, considering this is Tetsu that was definitely the case ,he gulps and takes a step forward.

“Will you give me a last chance and let me show you how much I can love you? Free of this ‘just friends’ title. Would you let me take you on dates and make you laugh wide and loud? Not just as your friend but as your boyfriend? As your partner in crime and in life, as Persephone is the pastel queen of hell in the realm of Hades, the sun to my Icarus, the Sodium to my Chlorine?..”

His speech was getting to you until the last sentence, your softened body goes stone cold, hands hanging in the air, Tetsu’s last pleads of “would you let me?”s falling deaf to your ears.

The gears turn quick and he realizes exactly which one of his words could leave an effect like this, be so ridiculous and bring you to a halt.

One of those smug smiles you saw on his face often, he says “What happened, cat got your tongue?”

And your mouse hanging open, all you can do is smack him on the arm, as hard as you can, for that awful salt simile and for using your words on you.

Before you know it, both of you are laughing and the air feels warm once again.

tags: @celosiiaa​ @boosyboo9206

[luvdsc]

hey there bub! i was going thru ur masterlist and i saw in the "about" section that u made eye contact with taemin OMG how did that go AAAAA u got to make eye contact with THE lee taemin? soo lucky :") i bet this happened prob awhile back but how was the superm concert? i'm sure it was amazing n so much fun AAAAA sadly they didn't go here in my city :( but i was able to see NCT dream live during their dream show tour and i tell you WHEW GOSH those boys are so ethereal??? like they look so good in vids and in pics but they're 1000000x better in person??? like pictures don't do their beauty justice?? gosh i could write a full on essay abt this. until now i still cant believe i got to see the dreamies live?? its feels so surreal like a dream, its crazy. i remember the lights dimming and 'dear dream' started playing in the background and i just lost it lol i was shaking and bawling my eyes out n the show hasn't even started yet djkfkjn i first noticed jisung n when i saw him the first thing that popped in my mind was: "he is SO tall and he's soso cute dear lord :")" and the way he dances, a frickin dance king?? he's rlly such a born performer. AND OHMYGOD JENO, the man is rlly WOW, ngl he kinda looks intimidating with his sharp features and smooth dance moves but his eye smiles make my heart mELT. i remember during the encore stage, the show was about to end and the boys were saying goodbye to us, jeno's face was showed on screen, he was tryna eat the confetti LMAO. renjun,, i will never shutup abt this but renjun is confirmed to be a FAIRY!! the prettiest boy :") #RENJUNFAIRYAGENDA he has such sharp yet delicate features and his aura is just so warm n comforting like he just captivates u n lures u in, and when he sings, like u can feel the emotion, hes so talented. all throughout the show, hyuck was just GLOWING (lives up to his name, fullsun uwu) . he's soso pretty n he's my bias so i literally was just in awe when i saw him, i was speechless :') he was rlly entertaining to watch n he was also so attentive to the crowd esp when he saw some ppl that got hurt, he kept telling us to move back a little. OMG HOW COULD I FORGET NANA, jaemin was soo sweet n charming and the way his eyes lit up whenever he looks at the crowd gosh my heart was abt to burst he rlly adores czennies :") jskfvkds hes also super tall lmao hyuck was tryna lift his shirt up tho and of course chenle, ngl but all throughout the concert, my eyes just keep coming back to chenle. out of all the dreamies, he caught my eye the most. like,, THE POWER THIS MAN HOLDS IS CRAZY?? THIS MAN DIDNOT COME TO PLAY!! his stage presence is crazyy ohgod esp during 119 performance, and he looks like a prince in real life. he also played the piano and i remember everyone was just in awe as he played like the whole crowd had heart eyes for him. it was such a fun n amazing experience, the boys were so amazing n talented, they rlly know how to put on such a great show. they work tirelessly n they're so good, like their voices and dance moves, srsly amazing :") ++ it so memorable cus it was my first kpop concert hehe. buying tickets were such a pain in the ass ngl it was so stressful but SO worth it 🥺 i knew jisung was tall but i didnt know he was THAT tall, idk if im just small but they all rlly look so tall JKDFSDJVFF sadly mark wasnt there :( sorry if i made this long, i just got excited and i thought it'd be nice to share my concert experience w/ u as well hehe 😅 i hope you're doing great bub!! <3

- 🐼 anon

omg hi yes, i was lucky enough to score tickets to see superm last year, and i was right up against the main stage railing !!! 🤩 so ten made eye contact and smiled at me, baekhyun also made eye contact and smiled and waved at me (he’s my exo bias and i was like the heart clutching meme when he did that), i yelled “you’re doing great sweetie” when taeyong took a pause during commentary time and he said thank you 🤧, and god taem looked at me for a good 20 seconds smiling at me and i couldn’t handle it and had to blink and look away and he laughed at me 😔 akslhflakshdfla but oh my god, lucas is so goddamn attractive irl it’s insane, and ten is sooo so pretty like i didn’t even pay attention to what they were saying during the commentary time sometimes i was just staring at ten who was in front of me and i was the starry eyed emoji (baek and ten were right in front of me, lucas was next to them), and pictures don’t do taeyong justice at all like that man is absolutely ethereal ✨✨  also!!!!! seeing ten perform his solos, hearing taeyong and mark rap irl and of course BASS GO BOOM BY LUCAS BECAME MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE WHEN ARE THEY RELEASING THAT SONG??? and i was in tears when taemin performed right in front of me like 16 year old me would be shaking in her boots if she knew she would see god taem in the flesh. actually current me was shaking askdjfhalksjdf i cherish all the videos i took so much (i accidentally deleted the entire jopping video except the mark rap part when i was trying to snip it to post to my insta story and cried rip 😭😭)

YOU GOT TO SEE THE DREAMIES IRL OH MY GOD I’M SO JEALOUS 😭😭 I WANNA SEE THEM PERFORM SO BAD!!! i keep rereading your entire experience and i’m living vicariously through you now aklshdflakjsdhfda oh my god, i wanna see jisung and fairy prince renjun perform live so bad 😭 i got to see hyuck perform three times now with 127, and he’s absolutely amazing, i couldn’t stop watching him dance like he’s my number one favorite performer in nct and the way he dances is heavenly and wonderful and his voice is insane 💖 he truly was born to be an idol 🤧💞💞 i want to write a proper response to each of your description of the dreamies but right now i’m just like no thoughts head empty just heart eyes for every single one of those boys 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸 aaaa thank you for describing them all, angel, i’ll keep this in mind as i write fics :’) omg and this was your first kpop experience???? you’re so lucky!!!! 💓 also i feel with the buying tickets omg i always have to get up early and keep refreshing on every device to get decent tickets and it’s so stressful askljdfhaksd but it definitely is so worth it in the end! my only regret is opting out of seeing skz last year and going to a party instead rip and omg no need to apologize!!! it’s really fun to hear about your concert experiences, sweetpea!!! 💞 thank you for taking the time to share that with me 💘  i’m doing wonderful and enjoying my weekend, and i hope you’re having a good weekend and doing well also, angel 🐝💛✨

[grubus]

you know what imma just copy+paste what I wrote on twitter because let’s be real if i want ppl to read it i should put it here because I rly don’t understand how twitter works ANYWAY Ranboo dsmp stuff under cut! There’s two different ideas...

theory time! Ranboo. What if he's Dream's little brother? I mean dsmp not irl of course. Honestly i'm probably wrong but i'm just saying that would be so cool, so fun, so dramatic... there is absolutely no proof I can point to, but I just think it’s neat <3

Like imagine if Ranboo’s amnesia is there to protect him, courtesy of an overprotective creepy Dream who doesn’t know how else to keep him safe. And every time Ranboo blacks out is when he remembers everything, and works hard to try and prove himself to his big brother that he can be useful and help Dream out with the chaos!

Maybe that’s even why Ranboo is so neutral; he instinctively knows to avoid making enemies or too close friends during his amnesiac periods to avoid anyone connecting the dots. He wants to always be available just in case Dream needs his help.

ANYWAY and this is NOT related to the Ranboo is Dream’s Brother idea, this is completely different;

What if

Ok first of all. During the destruction of L’manberg, Phil told Ranboo they had inside help when getting the TNT. He also said the inside help was unreliable, and never made it clear as to if he himself knew who it was or if it was just that Dream had told him about it. Niki and Fundy were not the ones who gave TNT to Dream as they only made their decision that day on what to do about the attack and there is no way they had that much TNT just stored away to give away at a moment’s notice.

Since then, we now know that Ranboo is the one who provided the TNT during one of his blackout periods as far as the Ranboo!Dream voice said. We know Ranboo keeps helping Dream when he’s in those periods; piling more and more blame onto Tommy tends to be the main goal, that or just generally destroying Tommy’s attempts to recover from trauma.

We also know that irl!Ranboo has said that c!Ranboo does NOT have DID, as he does not want to accidentally act out a hurtful stereotype. Meaning, from that, we can assume that when Ranboo blacks out... he remembers everything, he doesn’t have a switch of personality. He has all the facts, he’s acting with all the information he could possibly have at that point. No amnesia. Dream trusts the blackout period Ranboo more than the “other” one, which makes sense if Ranboo really does remember everything during his blackouts.

That means “our” Ranboo is the one who is acting from a flawed pov. Meaning, if the “real” him is helping Dream... then that is what Ranboo with all the facts would do. We don’t know why yet. It might be that Dream has dirt on him, it might be that he can give Ranboo something that Ranboo desperately need. They might even just be good friends (or brothers OOH??)

it doesn’t mean Ranboo is evil! We don’t know why he is helping Dream. But he is doing it, and when he does it he most likely does it from a position of knowing exactly why, rather than being confused and memory struggling like he normally is.

Basically

Phil might know about Ranboo’s “true” self and might be keeping Ranboo close to keep an eye on him, either out of concern for Ranboo or concern for himself and Techno.

Ranboo is most likely on Dream’s side no matter what, as long as he has all the facts. Meaning if Ranboo ever remembers everything, he will be on Dream’s side, meaning a big twist could possibly be exactly that. It could also mean we one day, soon, will get a lore stream where Ranboo ISN’T streaming but is in someone else’s stream.... by Dream’s side.

[desticuleconfessions]

hey desticule. so i have a supernatural-themed girl best friends story that i’ve wanted to share for a long time, especially because none of my irl friends ever rly understood the gravity of this experience w/o the context of spn. there’s a lot of fun parallels to stuff on the show, and its given me like years of brain rot and therapy lmao. so i really deeply appreciate this page as an outlet, thank you so much to the mods for making it. anyways uh. here goes. sorry it’s so long.

[tw: queer trauma, religious trauma, mental illness]

okay so. in 3rd grade i met this girl. we'll call her kate. we became best friends, as in our names were never spoken separately, we did (and won) every science fair together, she came skiing with my family every winter, i stayed with her family at their beach house in the summers, our younger siblings were friends, etc.

our birthdays were exactly 6 months apart (jan 22/jul 22) so we literally believed that we were celestially intertwined.

we wrote a novel together in 8th grade. her family is baptist, we attended massachusetts catholic schools. i would go to church with her family when i slept over, i held hands and said grace with them at meals. they are all tall and blonde and beautiful. classically angelic. i am south asian. i remember introducing her to harry potter in the 4th grade, her mother hadn't let her read em because it was "blasphemous", but i snuck her my copies and she would read them during lunch n recess and keep them in my locker. sorry this seems like a lot of unnecessary detail but it will be important later.

anyways we both got into doctor who and subsequentally supernatural (s1-8?9 at the time). i specifically remember getting her into supernatural. i also remember her instinctive disdain for destiel when i talked about it, i was showing her a meta or fanfic i think, and i talked her through undoing some of her christian household’s internalized homophobia (fully assuming we were both straight at this point) (we were fucking 12). we'd do the whole "bitch" "jerk" thing, i (the older one) affectionately called her 'sammy', her phone password was dean, mine was cas (and they still are). on my 13th birthday, she gifted me a samulet, which i still wear to this day. (additionally, she gave me a vonnegut 'so it goes' necklace one year) (thats not vital but) (goes to show the extent of my dean coding) (im also an aquarius lmao). im highly protective of her. i carry extra rubber bands on my wrist for her. i keep our money and phones in my jacket when the school takes us skiing. i sit next to her in the halls during lunch and organize her binder. on an 8th grade field trip, a boy made a gross comment at her and i broke his nose.

so we start high school together at coed catholic school nearby, i join debate, make a friend also into spn, she's bi. she asks kate out over text. kate's mom sees this. things turn.

now the rest of these things happened over the course of a couple months and due to my trauma memory loss, i have no idea how accurate some of these memories are so uh. don't hold me to them.

- her highly religious mother is not happy with this obviously. at some point, she brings a priest home and tries to have kate exorcised.

- at this point, we learn that kate is schizophrenic; it never seemed to create noticeable issues before bc her home life and childhood was a perfect happy dream (not an assumption, her words).

- she's still coming to school, sporadically now, i bring home her work, spend hours helping her.

- when she comes to school, she has seizures: sometimes we're fortunate enough that they happen in a class we have together. she freezes up and the teacher empties the room. i refuse to leave. i hold her hand and softly sing her favorite song and sometimes she comes back to me. sometimes she doesn’t and the bell rings and the teacher forces me to leave and let the nurse handle it.

- another time they announce a medical lockdown (to keep ppl out of the hallway if someone is being escorted to an ambulance) while im in catholicism class, i immediately know it’s her; she fainted in the pool during swim team practice.

- i stay awake for 6 days straight bc i read online that sleep deprivation induces some of the same symptoms as schizophrenia and if i could understand what she was going through, i could help her

- she shows up at my house w both of her parents 15 minutes before the winter ball, begs me to go bc her parents will only let her if i go. so i do. her mom lurks by the gym doors with the chaperones. during a slow song, kate and debate girl start to slow dance, i grab our friend’s hand, drag him in front of them so her mom can’t see and make out with him.

- i wanted to tell her to stop but i was too afraid i would lose us, that it would seem like i was homophobic or i was jealous, but i knew her in my marrow and it didn’t seem like she was in love or into the relationship, it was willful self destruction

- we talked in the last few years, she confirmed this.

- at some point, she says she’s sorry she didn’t tell me about the voices before.

- when we talk, she’s not her anymore, she doesn’t remember our inside jokes, our codes, i can feel her being slowly ripped away and apart in real time

- i have a vivid memory of arguing with her and her telling me im not real, that her mind made me up, while occasionally speaking to something? someone? else in the room. i hold her hand and point to the matching thin scars on our thumbs and try to convince her im real.

- she eventually drops out entirely, taken to some mental facility that im not entirely sure wasnt conversion therapy (it was definitely a religious facility) (and conversion therapy was not outlawed in new hampshire until 2019) and im not allowed to see her.

- every now and then i get cryptic distressing emails or texts from her.

- one in particular has the subject, “youandiwalkafragilelineihaveknownitallthistimebutineverthoughtidlivetoseeitbreak” which is the first line of the song ‘haunted’ by taylor swift (our shared favorite)(the summer after this happened we collectively decided we needed a new swift Our Song and chose ‘breathe’). the body of the email read “what the hell have i done”

- i pray for the first time in my life, every single day for a few months, in different languages, at temple with my parents, in the chapel at school

- on a club trip, i get a call at 2am from her, crying, asking me why i didn’t help her, why i didn’t stop her, that it was my job to protect her

here’s something i wrote about her, three yrs after:

I wasn’t careful enough and she caught quickly. She burned so close and so bright that for long afterwards, I could not see. And like that, she was gone. I walked into the chapel. Mea culpa. Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.

[that last line is from the latin version for a catholic prayer called the act of contrition, it translates to “through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault”]

in the fall, i hear she’s starting at a small baptist school almost an hour from her house. she is dating the principal’s son. the principal is also her pastor.

in my second year of college, i have a bad acid trip in a snowy park in december. i put my hands into the snow and when i look at them,i see blood. i see her body in the snow adorned like it’s a funeral

i still have dreams about her. sometimes i meet her in a grassy field, flying kites and i invite her to my wedding. in others, i catch a glimpse of her ponytail and catholic school skirt and chase her up eight flights of stairs and when i grab her hand, she turns to ash.

at some point in a separate argument w my parents in which they went through my texts and found out i wasn’t straight (amongst other things) my dad says:“i knew i should’ve listened to [kate’s dad] when he told me the things you would talk about. he knew what you are. and he took his daughter away from you.”

last christmas we met up and drove around together, she tells me that for years she thought i hated her for letting me down and for abandoning me, and i literally have the dean winchester in ‘sacrifice’ five stages of grief when sam says “you know what i confessed in there?” because i could not even begin to fathom that she ever blamed herself. it had always been my fault. i had failed to save her. i corrupted her and i failed to save her.

anyways she’s fine now, she’s okay, im okay, we’ve talked and unpacked and we’re alright. but uh. yeah. that happened. the parallels make me crazy. now they can make you crazy too.

‎

[leossmoonn]

Could I ask for a 🔮?

I'm really introverted and socially anxious irl, not so much on tumblr. I read a lot, usually fantasy. If I'm comfortable with somebody, I tend to be loud and I rant a lot, a lot of the times it's about a book or a movie, fiction. Very chaotic neutral. I'm that kid who talks about politics and just issues in the world in general a lot. I've been told that I give off kiwi/everybody talks vibes and I'm just bad at implementing them, whatever that means (blame my weird ass friends) I cuss a lot. My pronouns are she/her atm. I'm bi

As for the fandom, hp? Either era?

alrighty

marauder male ship - remus lupin

remus noticed u first in the library writing this huge essay for potions. he thought you were really pretty and immediately wanted to come up and introduce himself, but his doubtful thoughts got in the way. so he went to turn around but then his friends, ofc, pushed him your way. you didnt notice him at first bc you were so focused on your essay, so remus did a little awkward cough to get your attention and you looked up, expecting it to be one of your friends or the librarian, but you were very shocked to see prefect boy remus lupin standing next to your desk. he gave you a sweet, polite smile that got you sweating in second. he introduced himself, holding out his hand for you to shake, and as you tentatively held out your own hand, you began to introduce yourself only to stutter in your words. you apologized a lot but remus thought it was cute and reassured you you were doing nothing wrong. anyways, he ended up asking if he could study w you and you said yes, even tho you were like shaking and dying on the inside. the first 30 minutes were quiet and honestly, not awkward at all. you were thankful remus wasnt one of those ppl to try to do small talk. but he ended up asking you a question abt potions and ofc you answered, which ended up you having a whole rant about the potions textbook and how out of date it was. and while you were talking, remus found you so intelligent and interesting, and really cute too. and once you then looked at him shyly and apologized for taking up his time, he knew you were the person for him. you two were friends for a while before he asked you out. once he did, your relationship blossomed into something beautiful. you two took it slow, still hanging out like every day tho. you two usually study together, or when you become comfortable, you cuddle in his bed at night and you always end up talking about some muggle film youve seen, and it always interests remus. you two also share the same political views and its very fun arguing w other ppl bc you two are always right hehe. its couple bonding basically

golden trio female ship - luna lovegood

so luna is known as the weird girl but tbh shes a badass. anyways, you two first met when you were walking to your class. well more like running bc you were late, oops. and you bumped into luna, your books and papers flying everywhere. you apologized profusely and luna kept saying it was okay and she didnt mind. your apologizing only stopped when you looked into her clear, grey eyes and you were fr starstruck. like you swore she was the most beautiful girl you had ever seen lol. anyways you left in haste, very embarrassed. fast forward to lunch and youre sitting alone, not bc youre a loner but your friends just have a diff lunch than you (rip this happens to me all the time lol). buuut luna happens to have the same lunch as you and she sees you alone and since she has no one to sit by either, she goes up to you. youre very shocked bc like why the hell would a pretty girl sit w you? (lmfao i am so sorry. im not building your self eestem very high. itll get better one sec) so luna introduces herself and of course she has a beautiful voice and once again, you are starstruck. you two end up talking the whole time, luna doing the most talking but you dont mind bc she also has a lot of things to talk about. at the end if lunch, she ends up asking you out to hogsmeade and youre like 😟 “wh-what? why me?” and she just smiled and says “youre very beautiful and kind, and i’d like to get to know you and be your friend, if that’s alright” and ugh you’re trying to hide your smile so muuuch so you say yes hehe and next weekend you two hang out at hogmeade and have a fantastic time. you warm up to her fairly quickly and you think its bc of her warm, comforting energy and youre slowly falling for her hehe. you two often trade off topics pretty quickly and effortlessly. she loves hearing your opinions. she thinks youre so independent and individualistic, she loves it! you two also share a lot for the same books and loooove discussing bc sometimes your opinions clash and it always makes for a fun convo :) you two take your relationship slow too and honestly you two just kinda fall into a comfortable rhythm of being a couple without realizing it (meaning like you didnt really make if official until your first kiss and stuff). you two are the cutest couple at hogwarts and ppl really admire your relationship. luna helps you break out of your shell a little too and shes always so supportive. ah, youre a lucky girl hhee

sorry this is so long, i had a lot to say. i hope you liked it!

join my celebration!

[astro-break]

Thoughts on the 8th ep of Hypmic Rhyme Anima. Spoilers beware

Ep.1 | Ep.2 | Ep.3 | Ep.4 & 5 | Ep. 6 | Ep. 7

Love that every time its a MTC centric episode im so busy that i can’t watch it the day it airs

I like how the beginning of the episode kinda mirrors the events in MTC’s story in ARB

hey hypmic you wanna try making it Less obvious who the culprit is? like damn you’re just giving away secrets like its candy. First Ramuda, the Ruikawa and now these two assholes. Might wanna keep your cards close before you spoil the ending of the anime oh wait they already did that nvm :p

Samatoki please have some sense of self preservation and ask what its about before accepting something. but I guess it also speaks to how trusting he is of those he lets close to him which also explains a bit more as to why he hates Ichirou’s guts

Love that Jyuto is actually choking the information out of someone and Samatoki is actually gathering intelligence and creating boards out of it. Most people expect the opposite from their characters and it such a great dynamic

I find it hilarious that Rio uses older computers but that brings up the question of “How far into the future really is hypmic?” bc those computers look to be from early 2000′s which would be A N C I E N T and completely unusable for hacking come a time when WWIII happens

Iris on a bike has no rights looking as hot as she does. The vehicle CGI is really nice too and so is her character model on top of the bike. Loving how Iris completely owns the two cops

The MTC love here is jsut. through the roof i can die happy now that i’ve seen Samatoki aggressively caring for his teammates animated and voiced. like, please. just. help. I can.t/ MTC care so much for each other I would hug them all and tell them good work, you can finally go rest now uughghghgh MTC guys. MTC

But mannn Iris is so cool, approaching MTC without any fear

I find it hilarious that Saburo would pose as a game dev from dubai which yknow doesn’t make any sense if you think about it. but whatever it just makes me laugh at how easy it is to fake a lot about yourself because yeah! it is easy! 

The whole conversation about cops and good cops seems a bit off considering ACAB but considering Japan who has largely swept both BLM and ACAB under the rug it isn’t surprising. That isn’t to say that Japan doesn’t care, its just that these movements aren’t on the spotlight so topics like these don’t carry as much weight

lol yeah he should have expected to be stabbed from the front lol

SRKHFSKJD Rio please stop living in the water, i can’t believe he did that lol

Love the SamaJyuto subtext in the translation lol

Jyuto’s sequence is kinda cute in a way ahaha

The kurosawa-esque b&w screens are a nice touch to the song as well as the MC Name drops and hypnosis speaker drops. Idk about Rio’s 2DIE4 reference though since it doesn’t really rhyme nor does it add much to the rap itself

The song itself is pretty nice but it isn’t a bop like Fallin’ was. It has a different more gritty feel to it that i don’t hate but isn’t my style

Of course Iruma pulls this situation into his favor, its so typical of him.

Rio didn’t speak much here and took a general backseat to everything. I wonder if it was because during the time of recording this episode, Rio’s VA, Kamio Shinichiro, went down with The Virus (you know the one) so he couldn’t record much. Who knows but best boy. just let me hear best boy’s voice please

Ramuda’s phone vibrate actively annoys me oh my god it makes my skin crawl

If Ramuda’s sleeping on the couch then that really does confirm that Ramuda lives in his studio. Not surprising considering everything we know about Ramuda but at the same time, please get like a futon or smth sleeping on a couch will only hurt your back

Ramuda just busting in is fun

but im not sure how to feel about two divisions shoved into one. like this is basically telling us who is the important divisions, Ikebukuro and Shinjuku. Obviously BB are the protagonists of the series what with the staff coming out to even say that Ichirou is the hero, and if you know what happens then you know why Shinjuku is also highlighted which. also gives away the ending of the anime. again. I’m just glad that the team decided to stick with the irl results bc if they didn’t, they’d have a lot of angry fans

Back to my main point tho, this just. pisses me off. I love FP and MTC and to see them sidelined like this doesn’t feel fair. they deserve full eps to themselves bc if I’m being honest, these two teams have some of the best inter team dynamics out of the current cast. I understand that budget issues and episode constraints exist but this is just kinda frustrating that my main division has been tossed aside and the team that gets the most overall development gets thrown away too

Im not surprised that they cheated because gambling anime is about who can outcheat the other and the mind games played. thats the thrill of gambling series is the psychological factors in it

Ramuda emulating Gentaro’s speech is cute

The mindgames are not present at all and I expected that lol

thats.... midly gay gentaro lol do you always go around pressing shit into people’s mouths while leaning in close? thats pretty gay lol i love the homoerotic subtext present in this episode. First SamaJyuto and now GenDice

no speaker summon sequence? thats slightly disappointing but whatever. the anime is really doing FP dirty by cutting a lot of corners with their episodes

I never noticed that Ramuda and Gentaro hold their mics in their left hand while Dice holds it with his right. neat detail

I love how even in a battle FP still keeps their preppy attitude

Gentaro looks so awkward to the little sway and kick thing in the song lolol

This is probably one of the songs that I like the least. Jackpost is a very Dice song and not really fitting for either Ramuda and Genaro. I think i’d like it more if it was a dice solo or dice centric but the emphasis was pretty cleanly spread so that makes it pretty hard to enjoy

Oh hell yeah FP meshing as a team is just, so cute. Though that foreshadowing with Ramuda and his candy is just. wow

Yup they kept the og brackets so I think the anime’s going to stick with the IRL results. Which means that any tension they try and build won’t work for ppl who are already familiar with the series but I hope they don’t take that fact as an excuse to slack off

[lorablackmane]

"They upped security in the halls, [redacted]. I'm scared, especially after seeing what they can do. But, I can't stop now - I'm so close to finding her, I can feel it! Soon I'll find my little sister and we'll finally be free, [redacted]. Once I get Molly out, I'll find someone who will believe us - someone who will believe our story and rescue you."

I just realized I never posted the Captive Audience drawing I did for my Captive Audience(the game) inspired au. (Also @sporkkles-irl​ I’m sueing your group bc only I can steal his fingers /j)

A wall of text under this cut about my au bc I’m not going to take up y’alls entire screens w/ my premise as your scrolling. But some stuff y’all need to know is:  The time here has made Giovanni a much more cautious and subdued person, and Molly is much more suspicious of others. Sylvie’s hiding in the studio’s walls.

[Part 1 stuff]  Giovanni is here in the studio looking for Molly, his adopted younger sister. The person in the wall is someone [I’m not sure who yet, but probably Yoomtah or something]  and the orbs are much more dangerous in the au. He finds out that he’s been lied to at the end of the path just like the PC did in the game and this is where things split.

[Part 2 stuff] After the events of the game's stories they have to find a new way to make sure Giovanni doesn't go off mad. They can't use [Redacted] anymore after their betrayal to him - there might be a wall in between them but that wall has a grate and Giovanni is willing to tear his hands raw removing it if it means he can attack them. He's gotten through 15 times and found a way to attack them from there each time regardless of how far away they are. Anything that has their voice come through it is instantly torn to pieces, even during the show. But besides that he’s mostly subdued, even more so than before. He barely notices the commands of the executives. The audience starts to notice. 

The executives panic - one wrong move and their cover is blown. So they take a season break with him, but they still need to use him for something. They can't just leave him there to rest - time is money, and he better be making it on the clock. So instead they give him short segments. They give him non-sharp crafting supplies (that doesn't always stop him though. They implement a new rule - no one with a 2 ruler distance. If your closer than that you're in attack range) 

This surprisingly works! . . . For a bit. Sometimes the crafts are fine. They're sometimes even cute! They look like things that you'd buy at a store for a little sibling - soft non-sew bear plushies, paper airplanes, little paper mache stuff. Other times.... their a little twisted. A cat with too many eyes and heads, more nightmare than actual cat, little paper knife fingers, sometimes he somehow makes actual knives! Once he takes apart a tv and somehow makes an emp. The studio executives fire the intern watching him and they mostly only let him cook after that one.

But it does work. Most of the time he's content - not happy, never happy here - but it's better than he was after the last season's finale so the board takes it. As long as he's ready by next season of course. Molly has a similar session in her segments. They've found that by letting her sew during segments she's 90% less likely to curse on camera! How wonderful, now they can put her in all broadcasts again - it was costing them a lot of money by having someone who could only be watched by the PG-13 audience. Sylvie.... They can't even find him half the time. 

Yeah,  Sylvie's another captive, been here as long as Giovanni, but he's completely paranoid of others and him and Molly spend about five minutes circling each other - waiting for the other to make a move. Eventually they realize they're on the same side and start working together to escape and find Giovanni.  90% of his segments are prerecorded bc he has a habit of hiding in places they can't find him and using psychological tricks to escape them if they ever do find him. They tried getting ppl with psychology degrees to watch him but he'd often get them thinking about a psychological debate or use reverse psychology and escape.

Near the end Molly and Giovanni finally find each other, only for neither of them to recognize each other.  Molly thinks it's another trick - starts looking around, waiting for them to announce she's at the end of this season, to tear her away from the room with this fake version - while Giovanni is cautiously optimistic - he doesn't want to be, doesn't want to get his hopes up again; but she's here, this is his little sis she said his name - and it takes them a moment for them to realize it really is the other. And when they do they both run to each other, embracing as they cry their eyes out because they’re finally together again, brother and sister - the last remnants of their family finally stitched back together. And now, they have a new member as well.

[Good End Stuff]  After they escape and things calm down, Giovanni starts to make his own videos. Molly and Sylvie are confused at first - worriedly reminding him he doesn't have to do that anymore, their old audience is watching and the executives wont hurt them - but Giovanni tells them he isn't making these for anyone. He's making them so the power that the old studio had on him can wane. He wants to be able to take photos with them without flinching at the sight of a camera, doesn't want to be paranoid if a lens is turned towards him.

He starts simple and with something he already knows - crafts. Now he can finally share his favorite craft with people again - knitting. He knits everything he can, sometimes talking about why he's doing it ("Molly's birthday is coming up, so I'm knitting her this rocking bear beanie," or "Sylvie was talking about being cold yesterday, so I thought I'd knit him a scarf or something. Idk we'll see how this goes.")

Sometimes the other two will steal the camera after he's done to record something of their own. Sylvie likes to use the recording device as a soundboard, recording things like his psychology ramblings and other stuff. Molly takes a page out of Giovanni’s book and records herself sewing. After all of them are more comfortable with their lil device, covered in stickers and random words written in ink, Giovanni starts recording family memories - birthdays, events they go to, Sylvie’s classes on the psychological effect of the recording studio. He likes these videos the most.

[hyungwon-remade]

my ateez hi touch experience !!!

so a lil intro gkdjg basically what happened is vip ppl stayed in the concert hall n then after some waiting they took us through this side door n into some hallway and i thought we were gonna go and stand in line and wait for our turn or smth but we literally walked through the door n turned around a corner n they were RIGHT there n i was like bouncing bc i was so excited n nervous and i went around the corner looking like an idiot n first thing i see is jongho like In My Face and i started freaking out it was so scary kgjsdgj also disclaimer the descriptions for each member arent equally long bc the staff rushed me on a few members + i was too shocked to do anything sometimes i promise im trying not 2 sound biased (except 4 the one abt san. tht one is probably biased but i cant help it im in love and i talk a lot when its abt him.) i love them all i swear gkjdsgd

jongho: like i said he was first and idk how 2 describe him he looks so much? bigger? irl like taller n more broad than id expected HDJDJ but really handsome n i noticed immediately his skin looks really soft and he has v round cheeks hes. cute. i was really dazed so i forgot what i wanted to say to him which was compliment his vocals n i only used one hand i did that for all of them bc im dumb n didnt think hdkddj when i held his hand he went hi thank you! so i just said thank you i love you bdkdjjdk :( i FAILED i was gonna be cool and call him a vocal god but i got all shy .. but its okay at least he knows i love him

yeosang: first of all he looked so soft and adorable all night n kept doing cute things during the performances and i love him so much gkdfokh anyways hes so beautiful up close LITERALLY an angel and he had the sweetest shy smile and i still couldnt think properly so i just held his hand n said i love you so much bcjdkkd i cant remember if he said anything back or not i might not have heard it if he did kgsdjg i actually wanted to tell him that i think hes really amazing and precious but i rly couldnt get any words out other than i love you ksdjgs and i didnt have any time w him at all im sad bc hes one of my favs but hes th one i remember the least from the hi touch i feel like i didnt get to look at him at all :(

mingi: hes SO large but not intimidating at all like i didnt realize he had been towering over me until i moved on to wooyoung who was so much smaller kgjdsg anyway mingis so so warm and smiley and at this point my brain finally started working a bit again and like i swear as soon as u see mingi n his huge smile u just wanna give him the world and tell him hes the best person in the universe like theres smth abt him that just makes u want to give him so much love as soon as u see him so i said “youre so amazing i love you !!!!!!” n he smiled so big at me and said thank u i love u! also his hand was huge n i held it w my tiny hand fhdjkdj

wooyoung: idk if its just bc he was standing right next to mingi but he looks kinda small irl HDJDJDK obviously still taller than me but he looked tinier than i expected. and so beautiful aaaa i really had no idea what to say to him n i was nervous but i said thank you i love you :( it went so fast the security rushed me on quickly so i didnt get a lot of time w him and i feel bad djdkdjdk

seonghwa: godddd LITERALLY the prettiest person ive EVER seen you cant even imagine how gorgeous he is irl and the second he saw me he smiled really bright and was like “my princess!!!!” bc i was wearing my tiara n like my brain shut down it rly caught me off guard BDJDBDJ this is like my clearest memory from the whole concert i can still hear his voice in my head how he said it n his smile ggjdksgjo i was rly flustered ANYWAYS.. i was like stunned but then i was like yes thats me!!! DFFHDF??? and while security were telling me to move on i quickly said “i love u ur my prince!!” n he like held onto my hand a lil longer n was looking back at me while i was saying it even tho i was being rushed away gsdgsdk

san: okskskhmdff the love of my life literally i.....i stared at him for a sec when it was his turn like what the fuck thats the love of my life right in front of me ????? like what am i supposed to DO... and not to be het but hes literally soooooooo beautiful hdkdhddj his facial features look a lot more defined? irl.. idk how 2 say but he looks softer in pics and hes just sooooo handsome jdoddjdkdn its crazy and he smiled rly cutely at me when i came up to him n he held my hand skgjd n like FINALLY my brain was working again so from here on i started actually speaking korean to them like i WANTED to gdgkds i managed to say like half of what id planned to say i literally went autopilot i said it like w/o stuttering and i dont even know how bfkdh and he went like :O and leaned super close to me to hear what i was saying UDHDJDJCCJXJ i said “thank u so much for making me happy!!!” and n his eyes were sparkling n so loving when he realized what i said and he put his hand on his heart and said thank you and bowed at me (nearly headbutting me in the process bc he was so close jgsdgks) n seemed rly happy n touched like genuinely and then i was being rushed on by the staff so i quickly yelled i love you!! n he was like i love you too! dkdofkh i love him so much n he loves me back wow...what a time.. i miss him gksdogkg his hand was so soft and warm 🥺🥺

yunho: didnt get much time w him either i think the staff had their eyes on me bc id lingered at both seonghwa AND san (accidentally i SWEAR i didnt realize i was getting more time w them bc the staff didnt notice i was still there kjgsdg) i wanted to sing happy birthday 2 him but i completely forgot everything n it was going so fast :( so i panicked and i yelled happy birthday i love you !!! rly awkward and he looked SO happy but he clowned my yelling at him n said thank you back in a similar tone as i did KGJSDG he is sosososo cute irl literally just a big teddy bear i wanted to hug him so bad and he has the most sparkly loving eyes i swear also i think he was really happy to spend his birthday with us and im so happy i got to tell him happy birthday in person i feel super lucky :(

hongjoong: okay so like most precious person in my life.. he was last which made me emo bc it felt like he was like the one saying goodbye to me fhdjdh so i was abt to cry and he rly looked at me like i was the most important person in the world gjsdogk like its true what everyone said abt that seriously he loves atinys so much uhghhgh ... n he held my hand as soon as i came up to him (lol the staff said no hand holding n hongjoong said fuck your rules bitch) and he looked rly surprised when i started speaking korean his whole face went :O kjsdkg i asked him if we can be best friends bc ive always been calling him my best friend n i need 2 make sure we r on the same page u know? and he nodded n was like yes!! yes!! n he held onto my hand a lil while i was walking away :( im officially hongjoongs best friend u guys he said it himself...

[nozomijoestar]

1-10 for an oc of yr choice (since i don't know any of yrs (yet))

meme here

I’ll use my FFXIV OCs bc I’m finicky abt sharing anything on my manuscript OCs in public

Vaste/U’ralhana Odh:

1. What is/are your OC’s nickname(s) and how did it come about?

Her name situation is a little messy but theres a reason behind each one both canon and non-canon! The game by default gives the WoL many titles across the game to reflect your progress to NPCs like eikon-slayer, Azure Dragoon, khagan etc. all tied to feats or positions earned in the MSQ. 

For non canon titles and nicknames I’ve given her Desert Dragon due to her origin of birth from a desert tribe and their guardian animal being Drakes (as well as the fact that she’s a Dragoon and DRGs are traditionally a class associated heavy with dragons), Nine Lives because of the Echo preventing her from true death which also fits with her being a cat race etc. For more personal nicknames one of her younger brothers calls her Rala after her Sun Seeker name being U’ralhana Odh, dearest is also the most common pet name Yugiri has for her, aside from having the privilege of calling her only by her first name for her Sun Seeker side

Her formal naming convention gives her three viable names,

U’ralhana Odh - name the Sun Seekers gave her when she was born to them, the U designates tribe affiliation, followed by her given name, the surname is her father’s first name indicating he sired her (official FFXIV Sun Seeker naming convention) together the name means Ralhana of the Drakes, daughter of Odh

Osha Tayuun - this is the name her mother gave her before she left to rejoin the Moon Keepers in The Black Shroud, she never learned it was hers until the day they finally met well into her adulthood as the WoL, because Moon Keepers are matriarchal unlike Sun Seekers, the last name is also her mother’s while the given name is a normal girls name (i also made it start with O and try to sound similar to her mother’s first name, Oghii)

Vaste Valescoere - she gave herself this name after once being taught a few ancient Garlean (irl Classical Roman Latin) words by a traveling scholar from what little outside contact the tribe saw, once she made the decision to leave to be an adventurer forever she was banished for forsaking tradition, thus she felt she died and needed a new name - this was the first name i gave her because when i first started playing FFXIV i didnt know the races had naming conventions so i just wanted something that sounded like a fantasy name ( i literally just looked two words up in my latin-english dictionary fddjfd)

2. What is the color of your OC’s eyes/hair/skin?

Blue hair with natural black highlights, green eyes, light skin but not pale- all generally Moon Keeper traits but when i was starting out i knew none of that and did what i wanted, her bizarre appearance once i decided she was from the U tribe influenced her being half Sun Seeker and Moon Keeper 

3. How tall is your OC?

5′2 but only because i thought the CC slider meant 5′6 (cuz it lists height in inches and i didnt bother to check ujhghugj shes sometimes embarrassed by her height especially standing next to much taller people, shes still taller than Yugiri though so she enjoys the slight height advantage

4. What is a noticeable physical attribute of your OC?

Her hair, then her eyes

5. What does your OC normally wear? What would your OC wear on a special night?

She’s usually in her armor with her current spear glamoured to appear weaker than it actually is because the simple style reminds her of what she used as a teen before leaving home:

^^ necklace and earrings are different but the second necklace is more typical

im weak for the one arm/shoulder armored while the other isnt or not as much aesthetic

For more special/formal occasions w/o armor she likes wearing this:

6. What is one word you would use to describe your OC’s appearances?

Every time she shows up there’s something dramatic (but not always over the top) happening

7. Does your OC have any markings, such as a birthmark or a scar?

She has the usual pinkish red stripes on her cheeks all Sun Seeker women are born with, in addition to a scar across her nose bridge she got during her huntress rite of passage when a sundrake struck her face (this rite is also how she got the black marks under her eyes afterwards, originally i just liked how they looked and made a backstory for them because the game lists them as tribal tattoos in CC)

The scar i gave her in CC as a ref to Guts from Berserk cuz his is similar (she obtained hers very young like he did as well):

8. How does your OC talk/what does your OC’s voice sound like?

i chose the CC voice 2 option for female miqo’te (you can kinda hear what it sounds like here and here @2:10 since i cant find a video with just vc2 range) and im happy with it (to me it kinda sounds like Rie Tanaka? as far as i know the CC voice VAs have never been revealed so i cant say for certain, i know shes done voicing for FFXIV as Kan E Senna and Sadu and plays it as a huge fan tho) as far as how she talks all Miqo’te are said to have their own racial language unique to them that no other race can accurately pronounce or understand due to all the hissing, purring, and spitting of certain sounds (bc theyre cat ppl lol) so she’ll roll/purr her Rs, hiss her Hs etc.

On top of this system i imagine the U have their own dialect accent too which i hc sounds closer to Xhosa and Zulu mixed if a cat tried to speak it,so it gets complex! Her native accent however becomes slightly toned down the longer she spends away from the U as the WoL, but its still present and obvious enough

9. What does your OC’s bedroom look like?  His/her living area?

the only description valid for this is an organized mess lmao

10. What does your OC keep in a special drawer?

anything small enough to fit given to her by people from her past or those she cares about that linger on her mind, shes somewhat sentimental sometimes

—-

Gan Arulaq

1. Lizard boi has no nicknames that stick outside of being called Bataar playfully by his parents esp his mother bc he liked playing pretend as a heroic figure when he was little (i was aware when i made him in CC that Xaela use Mongolian names and are based a lot on Mongol culture of the 14th century so he follows this convention)

His first name is Mongolian for Steel, his last name denotes his tribe following the game’s convention, simple

2. he is a tan/reddish brown color for skin with black hair and natural red highlights in a short swept back style (his eyes are also green bc i wanted to see what Vaste’s eye color would look like on a Xaela model, tdlr they glow!)

3. Gan is 7′1! the tallest of my characters period, he sees everything from up there and it creates some hilarious and awkward situations (poor guy and most doors, rip)

4. his eyes and his big curved horns

5. he loves wearing primarily clothes that expose a lot of his chest and skin in general because thats most natural to what he wore on the steppe valley back home (as well as being a little vain about his physical appearance and liking the feel of freedom in less clothes) however he can and will wear regular clothes, though in this case his fashion sense is terrible

6. when he appears you can associate him with change (succession is another word that comes to mind given his role to Vaste)

7. with the exception of minor scars from martial training and small accidents he’s the picture of normal for a Xaela

8. i actually cant remember what CC voice i gave him by number, but he does have a somewhat deep, rough voice fitting for a boisterous young man while also being capable of sentimentality and some wisdom, he has a handsome voice, he speaks bluntly but full of feeling and often truth

9. his room would be very organized and everything is neatly assigned to its place as well as being primarily spartan in layout/decoration, he’s used to practicality and function from his childhood on the steppe, lots of trinkets from nature, weapons and trophies of victory etc.

10. a ring given to him by his mother carved from sheep bone, it was her archery thumb ring

[seoulscenarios]

Romeo, Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo?

Genre: light angsty fluff, high school au, female reader insert

Member(s): Stray Kids’ Minho (ft. Jisung and the lads)

Word count: 2991

Warnings: light swearing, light pda at the end

Summary: you and Minho had been best friends since you could walk but it seems only you had developed a crush on him. Will a late class and a small two man production of Romeo and Juliet change his mind or does he really not like you? Featuring the rest of the crackheads with their leader, Han Jisung, love is in the air at school and a certain someone is just oblivious to it.

Authors note: based off the following request “All time fav cliché best friends to lovers with Minho (stray kids) angsty fluff where reader (preferably female) thinks her love is one sided, but turns out it’s not. Good ending”. I hope this is something to what you wanted and sorry it’s not heavy on the angst pls enjoy !!

-You and Minho had een best friends for years and you always had the tiniest crush on Minho but it escalated a lot over the summer as Minho glowed UP

-Wow u are whipped

-However whipped as you are for him he never seemed to reciprocate it

-Ever

-You even went out with on valentine’s day 3 (three?!) years in a row but his thick skull didn’t acknowledge it and just thought it was another friends doing friends things

-So, you moved on

-I mean he’s your best friend you can’t let your crush get in the way of things

-You were there for him whenever he argued with his parents or friends, he was stressed about school or failed a test and uwu

-You’re just the bestest of friends and everyone is jealous (tho most think you are dating)

-So,,,,,

-You guys always hang out in school together bc you’re in the same friendship group

-And youre in most of the same classes, so you normally walk together

-WELL

-Minho managed to make the BOTH of you late to ur first class bc his dumb ass slept through his alarm and u had to basically drag him out of bed lmao

-So u rock up late for class

-Ur teacher is NOT impressed

-So as a punishment they give u a script of a play and told to learn it by next week

-U groan when u see the title of the play

-Romeo and Juliet

- Oh no

-This won’t end well

-You glance at Minho to see if he has any reaction bc,,,,, hello ur dying on the inside and probably the outside and you can hear Jisung and felix trying to hold in their laughs at u

-(you make a mental note to beat their asses later)

-And Minho

-Is very unfazed as he flicks through the script

-Ur kinda disappointed

-I mean it’s not fair how you’re a literal MESS trying not to let the floor swallow u up in embarrassment tbh

-So,, the two of you practice outside of class at ur guys’ house and you can’t help but notice how utterly unfazed he was by this whole ordeal

-Ur both literally reciting the most well-known love story on this planet and yet,,,,, nothing

-Not an ounce of feeling that he likes you

-I mean,,, he’s not a bad actor and his romeo makes u SWOON but honestly you swoon for irl Minho not just romeo Minho

-As you stutter over some of the lovey-dovey lines u hear Minho laugh a little and tells u to redo it

-his little shit

-After a week of practice, you guys are ready to perform this goddamn piece

-I may add that ur teacher only gave you the condensed version and not the whole play

-It just so happens that the condensed version only focuses on romeo and juliet’s love

-Bc English teachers amirite?

-So the two of you turn up to class ON TIME this week, not wanting to get ur ass beat again

-And ur just the tiniest bit nervous bc !!!! hello !!!! ur performing with ur crush !!!!

-U glance over at ur seatmate Jisung who gives u a big thumbs up

-BREATHE Y/N

-Everything is going well, u don’t stutter and Minho is just the perfect romeo

-Until the final scene I may add

-As you lay “dying” as Juliet, Minho runs onto the scene and spots u laying down

-He walks up to u and goes to kneel

-BUT

-Before you both knew it, he stumbled

-And fell

-Right

-On

-Top

-Of

-You

-Lips centimetres apart from each other

-OWO what’s this

-U swear the whole class are holding their breaths and can hear ur damn heartbeat

-U stare at Minho in shock for what must have been a minute

-Neither one of you tearing ur eyes apart from the other

-It wasn’t until you hear ur teacher cough slightly that the two of you snap out of it and Minho pulls away

-He finishes the scene off with no problem and honestly,,,, u don’t even register it’s over until Minho offers his hand to help you stand up

-You grab it, flushing a hella lot bc,,,,, u nearly kissed ur crush in front of ur whole class RIP

-Ur teacher was impressed with u guys and let you off the next assignment ur class had (if only u were aware of this then u would hear the whole class esp Jisung groan)

-As u go back to ur seat,,, ur eyes drift back to Minho and ur thoughts go back to that last scene and his lips……

-“yah Y/N ! u and minho were so close I swear you were gonna kiss you shoulda seen ur face!!!!! I thought for real that Minho was just gonna plant one on you !”

-Smh Jisung

-Poor baby,,, u just sit in shock trying to concentrate

-Hint: it doesn’t work

-Ur plagued with thoughts of Minho for the rest of the day,,,,, I mean you already were but now it’s like sensory overload but with Minho

-But u know he doesn’t like you

-Lmao why would he

-He surely would’ve spoken to you about by now esp after that near kiss in class

-But this dumbass is still oblivious

-School ends and ur trying to forget about the near kiss

-But in this, you forget that Minho has a habit of walking you home

-So there he is

-Leaning on your locker waiting for you to turn up

-YOU SWOON BC NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT HOT IN SCHOOL UNIFORM FOR PETE’S SAKE

-His blazer was off, shirt sleeves rolled up, blonde hair tousled and wavy (ladies, imagine Minho like this I’m crying)

-U feel ur heart literally stutter

-I swear that’s a medical condition Y/N

-“Let’s stop by the convenience store, my treat” he smiles down at you as he moves out the way so u can get to ur locker

-Dude,,,,, u need to stop before I melt into the floor

-“Uhhhh I can’t I have,,,,,, a study session at the library gotta work on some literature stuff u know ahaha”

-Minho frowns but doesn’t react massively

-Secretly he thinks its hella cute that ur tryna avoid him but that’s for another time

-“Okay, don’t study too hard and I’ll treat you another time. Text me when you get home”

-UWU

-Anyone who overhears this would be like wow 10/10 relationship goals tbh

-U however, a self-proclaimed dumbass, don’t dwell on it too much

-You guys tend to grab food after school together

-ANYWAYS

-Minho pulls you in for a hug before leaving

-Oof ur heart is stuttering again

-How you made it to the library for ur study session is a wonder tbh

-25 minutes later finds you groaning into ur books cursing minho’s name

-That’s when u realise 2 things, 1) that wow ur a FOOL bc there is no literature homework bc of ur work from earlier and 2) Minho is very bad for your health and u gotta avoid him for ur own sake

-U walk into school with this resolve

-It doesn’t work

-Minho is in practically every single one of ur classes

-So u practically have to run from each class to avoid him

-Which leaves Minho very confused

-He doesn’t walk with anyone else from class or treat them like he does to you

-Which makes Jisung very jealous,,, bc why can’t Minho treat him like this

-Little did you know Minho has a PHAT crush on you and Jisung is PLAGUED by the both of u gushing about the other

-Jisung is MEDITATING

-So when you start avoiding him even more Minho is extremely put out bc what does he do now who does he spend time with now

-(jeongin: we’re still here hyung!!!)

-Being the good friend he is, he gives u space but is still v sad about it

-And honestly, ur sad too bc as much as you love spending time with Jisung,,,,,, he’s no Minho lmao

-One night after school Minho is kicking round the football field with the others and that’s when he realises

-He’d much rather spend his time with you

-It’s not that he doesn’t love his friends, he just happens to love you even more

-But how can he reach out to you when ur avoiding him still

-Jisung notices how glazed over Minho’s eyes and knows

-*cracks knuckles* it’s time

-Jisung sends Minho home telling him to grow some chest hair n text u lmao

-Minho does go home but does not text you bc he’s just a nervous boy

-Jisung to the lads: “now he’s gone, we gotta make a plan for the two lovebirds they’re so BLIND I’m sick of it I might just confess to Minho myself”

-Chan: “……….”

-Jisung: “that was a joke old man, let’s focus pls ladies”

-So the plan

-Was it an elaborate one?

-Definitely not

-Lmao have u seen these kids they’re a bunch of crackheads

-Baso,,,, they’re just following the classic let’s text them separately to meet up as a front but SIKE it’s just the two of you alone

-Fool proof right?

-Somehow it is???

-Shocking??

-The two of you don’t expect anything is going on

-So it’s the weekend when the plan is put into action

-It’s been 17 days since you last spoke to Minho not that you had been counting haahaha okay yesyouhaveitsnotlikeyoumisshimoranything

-You wake up to a text from Jisung saying that him, felix, hyunjin, and changbin were going for ice cream and whether you wanted to go

-Which duh??? Ice cream???

-U needed it so you dragged yourself out of bed to get ready

-Little did you know that Minho too had received a text from Woojin saying that him and the others (a.k.a the family,,,,, Woojin, chan, seungmin and jeongin) were going for ice cream

-And Minho wasn’t passing up the chance esp when there was a high probability that chan would pay lmao

-*in the master gc of getting Minho and Y/N together*

-Jisung: excellent

-So 1pm rolls by and ur there at the ice cream parlour waiting for the others to rock up

-U go to order bc honestly boys take so long to get ready istg

-As you give ur order a voice behind goes “and a matcha ice cream as well please”

-U FREEZE

-Why of all the ppl to turn up

-It’s the one ur trying to avoid

-U turn to face him

-“Minho?”

-“Y/N?”

-Felix, somewhere: beYONCE?

-Ur in shock bc 1) why is here? 2) who allowed him to look so good in white ripped jeans ur DYING HERE 3) where is everyone else?

-That’s when u realise

-Jisung is a snake and ur friendship is over

-Y/N is taking applications for a new friend who isn’t called Han Jisung thank you

-Ur heart is stuttering bc Minho looks so boyfriend ur not okay

-Safe to say those 17 days did NOTHING in swaying your crush on him

-“Is that all?” oh yikes yeah this isn’t a drama scene Y/N where ur crush confesses to u, someone has to pay at this point and the queue behind the two of u is getting impatient lmao

-You whip around blushing “uh yeah that’s everything” u reply stuttering and trying to whip out ur card

-Before you can, Minho’s arm stretches out in front of u and taps the machine in front of you

-Istg u feel butterflies in ur stomach at Minho being in such close contact with u

-U can feel the heat radiating on ur back

-You get ur ice cream and u go to leave the shop but Minho grabs your arm

-U turn to him questioningly to be met with slightly hurt eyes

-Did I do that to him?

-Yes u fool

-“Sit with me. Please?”

-How can you refuse that

-……………

-It’s so awkward

-“Are you okay? Why are you avoiding me? Did something happen? Just let me know if you’re okay?”

-Owo my heart

-“uh,, no nothing’s happening….. I’m just busy u know??? Hahaaha school is really kicking my ass”

-Minho just nods and takes a spoonful of ice cream so u do the same

-“Just let me know if I can help you in anyway, I’m always here for you. Don’t suffer alone, I hate seeing you so down?”

-………….

-…………

-Honestly,,,,, u just about melt at this

-Putting ur spoon down and u look at him

-Now or never, Y/N

-“Okay…. I’ll let you know what’s the real problem. It’s you, mr lee Minho.”

-Minho is SHOCKED why is he the problem

-“uhhhhhh”

-“Please let me finish or else I’ll never have the courage to do this again. You have no right to be stealing my heart yet again by nearly kissing me in the middle of class. Do you know how embarrassing that was, I really just wanted to kiss you and I would’ve combusted if you did but you didn’t which made it worse. Why didn’t you kiss me? I’ve literally been sending you signals for nearly two years, and that’s saying something because I saw you in your awkward teen phase and still liked you, and you haven’t even responded. So I avoided you because my heart keeps stuttering whenever I’m near you I’m surprised you can’t hear it. I mean you’re so hot I just wanna kiss you, especially since that day all I can think about is your lips as you were SO close to me this is the worst time to confess but I really like you Lee Minho.”

-And breathe Y/N

-And Minho is no better

-How dare his crush confess before he can smh

-He sits in shocked silence trying to process this information

-You, however, are dying

-That’s it, he’s not replying he doesn’t like you Y/N LEAVE

-So u try to

-But as you stand up so does Minho

-And his hand shoots out to grab your shirt and he just plants one on you ????? in the middle of a damn ice cream parlour?????

-UWU

-Ur in shock

-The man of your dreams,,,,, kissing you ???? more likely than you think ??? so u kiss him back ??? ofc u do how could you not

-It tastes of matcha and strawberry ice cream and something,,, so inherently Minho u just wanna keep kissing him tbh

-Y’all break apart and honestly,, you sit back down in shock

-“That…. Was some confession Y/N”

-“Shut up!”

-“Hey, it’s okay babe. I like you too. Sorry my confession isn’t as grand as yours but,,,, I like you and always have done”

-….

-Oh

-“So please, Y/N, be my girlfriend” his hand stretches across the table nervously

-You smile as u see his hand creep across the table and you reach for him, intertwining your fingers

-He smiles back even bigger and pulls you out of the shop

-You guys had a lot of time to make up for ajbfaiubsag

-So,,, Monday rocks around and you walk to school with Minho this time, rather than mooching in with headphones in

-You guys walk to your normal spot before school starts and Minho is telling you some story about Felix, Changbin and Hyunjin when u hear a scream and lots of wolf whistles

-Spoiler: it’s Jisung and the lads

-“YOU OWE ME MONEY I TOLD YOU THIS PLAN WOULD WORK THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS! I AM THE DOCTOR OF LOVE, HAN JISUNG”

-You laugh as you take a seat next to him as chan grumbles about his wallet being drained AGAIN by his kids’ appetites

-As the hollering quietened down Jisung taps ur shoulder

-“Sooo, you guys are official now? After years of pining ???”

-Rather than deigning Jisung with a worded response a wicked plan forms in ur head

-You tapped Minho’s shoulder to divert his attention from Seungmin

-As he faced you, you grabbed his tie and pulled him in for a kiss

-He was a little shocked at how brazen you were bc hello this is school and these are ur friends but honestly,,, he freaking LOVED it

-He smiled into the kiss and one hand rested on your waist as the other rested on your jaw pulling you deeper into the kiss

-“there ARE CHILDREN HERE OH MY GOD” u heard chan yell distantly

-You couldn’t help but break apart from Minho, laughing as you catch chan covering jeongin’s eyes in distress

-You turned back to Jisung

-“Does that answer your question?”

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz lb: 2 - 6th january

i thought i’d be all caught up and back on schedule by now, but somehow i find myself behind by more than a week’s worth of episodes again. oh well.

maybe this week’s my week. in the mean time, here’s the second installation of liveblogs.

2nd january

preview: whut the whut???? is shivaay drunk again? is he dreaming this? is anika dreaming this? am *I* dreaming this???? 😯😯😯

lmao these three sisters are rudra's nightmare come alive; the bhaabi he never wanted, HIS FATHER'S MISTRESS, and the cult leader who kidnapped him. 😂😂😂

this bloody house and family is so fucking big, they should implement whatever technology uber implements in its cars, to keep track of what family member is where. 😒😒😒

rudra's denim shirt/trackpants outfit is pushing the limit on "athleisure" methinks. 😕😕😕

GOD DADI YOU AND YOUR SCREECHING. JUST... SHUSH.

they should really get someone else to dub for the dadi actress, coz her voice. lord above. 😬😬😬

oh no shivaay thinks anika's playing. 😟😟😟

dadi looks downright horrified at the thought. dadi, it's ok. it's how billu and biwi do foreplay. stay out of their sex life.  🙄🙄🙄

lololololol the fridge is about to start ringing.  😂😂😂

give it up tia. you're not gonna win.  🙄🙄🙄

FIGURE IT OUT FASTER YOU FUCKING IDIOTS.  😑😑😑

lmaooooo "bhaabi fridge main kaisi pohunchi???"  😂😂😂

there's a sentence no one ever plans to say in their life. ever. 😂😂😂

PLEASE NOTICE THE FACE OF THE FRIDGE MOVING DUDE. ZERO REACTION. ALL IN A DAY'S WORK FOR HIM. he must move a lot of rich ppl's fridges with bahus in them. 😐😐😐

i was like "ok she's cold but not THAT cold that you need a bonfire in MUMBAI" before i realised tht this was a prinku scene.  😶😶😶

ok, acp is like... RIGHT UP in their damn group now, and no one's like "who's this weird, fully grown man who's appeared out of nowhere and staring intently at one of our friends? 🤔🤔🤔"

what the hell does he even want??? 😒😒😒

yes priyanka, leave the group and isolate yourself, while you're being stalked. that's the smart thing to do right now. for fucks sake, this chick has the survival instincts of a fucking dodo. 😒😒😒

oh great. three MORE rapey boys. just what the show needed. MORE RAPEY BOYS.  😤😤😤

(lemme save you all the trouble of wondering how this is gonna go - acp is gonna save her, she's gonna be indebted, he's gonna be all conflicted coz omg why did i save her i hate her and they'll angstily marry each other and be the most boring-ass couple ever. 🙄🙄🙄)

i need to know what makeup primer/fixing spray anika uses that's waterproof, crying proof, torture (by shivaay + daksh) proof, freeze proof... like... what sorcery is this????? 😯😯😯

ok rudra, if you think of her as your wife, why don't you just ACCEPT it, and TELL HER? why is this plot still where it was 2 months ago????? 😑😑😑

i want sAumya's jammies. they look comfy af. 😊😊😊

oh look. husband was here all along! 😚😚😚

aaaaand he's yelling. ouff. give a girl a second to wake up properly! 😒😒😒

ok relax my man, you're in mumbai, not the north pole, that a hand outside the blanket will make her get the chills. 🙄🙄🙄

aw, he's "snug as a bug in a rug"d her! 😚😚😚

"akduuuu!" 😂😂😂

honestly boys, you can find better porn on the net, you don't have to get your jollies from watching priyanka change into a nightgown ffs.  🙄🙄🙄

romi's outfit is cute af! i want! 😊😊😊

i don't like this new YELLYYYYY svetlana. 😑😑😑

wow ok yeah that plan sounds CLEAR AF, thanks svetlana, for being so precise and detailed. 🙄🙄🙄

A+ eyeliner though. if only you lent that laser focus on explaining the plan.  👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

oh this... credo, and hand gesture thing is... here to stay? not a one time thing from that reveal scene? 😬😬😬

it's reminding me of a hateful version of the thing the planeteers do to summon captain planet. 😂😂😂

BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED, I AM CAPTAINNNNNN NAFRAT!!!! 😋😋😋

acp is shocked to learn that someone else is moving in on his "make priyanka feel violated with rapey harkatein" niche. THAT'S HIS CURB, DAMMIT, AND HE'LL BE DAMNED IF ANYONE TAKES IT FROM HIM!!!!!!! 😡😡😡

just once in my life, i want someone to be as excited about me as rudra is about anika. 😪😪😪

"aap fridge mein kyun chupi thi? aap waisi hi itni cool ho!" 😂😂😂

dadi: don't do anything that can get you killed, lololol!

seriously, dadi??? is that how you warn someone??? is the actress playing her wrong, or is she being written weird? either way, i can't fucking stand this character since shivaay and anika got married. 😒😒😒

@ ruMya: can you two just bang and get over it? 🙄🙄🙄

"hum risk sirf tabhi lete hai jab humein yakeen hai humaara prince charming humein bachaane aayega."

the day i risk anything in hope of a MAN coming and saving me is the day i die. of disappointment. 😑😑😑

headline of tomorrow's oberoi times: 30+ year old man gets his kicks from eavesdropping on youth and their discourse on romance; forces wife to participate in chichori harkat as a means to feel her up under the stairs.

why's he hugging her to his chesttttt? like cute af and all, but... lol, why? 😂😂😂

aw rudraaaaaa. 💗💗💗

aaaaaaand, there. you had to ruin it. asshole.  😒😒😒

waah, seediyon ke upar bhi romance, neeche bhi romance. 😏😏😏

where's my boy ommmmmmmmm? why isn't HE feeling up a PYT somewhere in the vicinity of this staircase???????? god knows if anyone deserves it the most, it's him! 😐😐😐

play a romantic song from this decade maybe???? 🤔🤔🤔

ok shivaay, she's your wife. you can seduce her in your room, ya'know. 😶😶😶

ok fine, i won't be such a unromantic grouch. carry on. continue fondling your wife under the staircase, like a horny high school kid. 😌😌😌

what do you mean "roka kisne hai?" YOU WERE ON HER LIKE WHITE ON RICE BRUH. pfffffffft. 🙄🙄🙄

the bad dubbing is ruining this scene for meeeeeeee. i'll have to watch it again on mute to get my kicks. 😫😫😫

wow. so this is what it's like when shivaay is romantic. nice. why couldn't you have just persuaded her to marry you her like this?????? 😐😐😐

shivaay, back in his room, googling "help i think i love my wife" and "how to make my wife love me". 😂😂😂

tia's hereeee, looking extremely becoming.😚😚😚

LMAO that HUGE step back he took when she mentioned the baby. 😂😂😂

oh i think tia's in that phase of her pregnancy when women get super horny. 😶😶😶

lol, i've never heard of the word "rest" as a euphemism for an orgasm, but this show has been so ~~~pathbreaking in so many ways so sure, why not? 😕😕😕

*while being seduced* "... i need to finish my emails!" 😂😂😂

lmao what an ISHQBAAZ. truly amazing. dadi, come take a look! 😂😂😂

anika strolling into that room like, BITCH STEP THE FUCK BACK, THIS WORKAHOLIC ROBOT IS MINE!!!!!! 🙃🙃🙃

3rd january

preview: I KNEW THE NEW HUNKY SERVANT WOULD BE SHADY! I KNEWWWWWWWWW IT! 😬😬😬

tiaaaaa was notttttt expecting anika to be so ferocious after being frozen like an bag of peas. 😂😂😂

shivaay's deep resigned sigh + "tia, you brought this on yourself" face lololol 😂😂😂

"nakhre noor jahan ke" hee hee 😂😂😂

"kasam shivaay BABY ki" LMAO 😂😂😂

shivaay's enjoying this smackdown too much lol, he's intervening soooooo reluctantly.  😋😋😋

"ACHAAR KE DAAG KI TARAH DHEET" omfg appropriating this for daily use irl 😂😂😂

might as well hang a sign around shivaay's neck saying "property of anika" 🙃🙃🙃

for that matter, tia's too, coz anika just OWNED HER ASS 😎😎😎

damnnnnnnnnnnnn anika, is this what being cold does to you??? i just get very angry and miserable and eat a lot of carbs. 😐😐😐

lololol the instant disappearance of her giggles. 😋😋😋

patidev is taking full faida of display of haq. 😚😚😚

MAIN ROZ BRUSH KARTI HOON HAHAHAHA 😂😂😂😂😂😂

shivaay's not interested in your dental routine right now anika, he has lurrrrrrrve on his mind! 😚😚😚

(that look he gives her teeth tho, lol) 😂😂😂

it's weird that he's being SO romantic all outta nowhere. with a woman he served divorce papers to THIS MORNING.

(yes, this is the same day. god. i'm exhausted just thinking how long their damn days are. 😫😫😫)

bruh, parde toh bandh kiye hote. the whole house is getting an eyeful of your seduction game. 🙈🙈🙈

which is suddenly A+ btw. looks like googling "how to make my wife love me" gave him some fucking amazing results. 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

such cute how they can't control their silly smiles and giggles at each other. adorable idiots. 💗💗💗

lol she literally jumped out the window to get away. 😂😂😂😂😂

relatable af. i woulda done the same. 😶😶😶

yes shivaay, what's happening to you? your constant smiling and being all romantic and shit is freaking meeeeeeee out. 😬😬😬

ouff, from that cuteness to this rapey nonsense. 😒😒😒

LOL ACP'S PUNCH. 😂😂😂

acp toh shivaay ka bhai nikla in phone tod department. 😐😐😐

where the fuck is everyone, did they just leave prinku alone? 😒😒😒

why doesn't the third dude deserve a name? 🤔🤔🤔

TUJHE CHAHTE HAI JAANEMAAANNN. abhishek and sumit have been watching too many b-grade 80's bolly movies. next they'll reply "bhagwan ke liye tujhe chod denge toh hum kya karengee?" 🙄🙄🙄

GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. honestly, i am so fucking done with this acp and prinku track. i could honestly not give less of a fuck about them. 😑😑😑

yes acp, keep watching as they tear her dori and violate her. best. 😒😒😒

anika, pay attn to hunky servant. he just gave you a clueeeeee. 😐😐😐

anika, you need to get a job. 😗😗😗

pft. acp ki herobaazi. mujhe nahi dekhni. fwd. 😒😒😒

can shivaay enroll prinku in some damn self defense classes ffs???? while he's at it, some personality development classes as well. 🙄🙄🙄

lmaoooooooooo TUM MERE HO. 😂😂😂

what the hell is with this show and songssss from the fucking 90s. can they not afford copyrights to anything newer??

such dramatic dupatta odh-ing was unnecessary. hand it over like a normal dude, bro. 🙄🙄🙄

prinku's feeling the angsty lau feelings right on schedule. 😒😒😒

since when is there this giantasss plate glass window in shivaay's room? 🤔🤔🤔

snort. hunky servant's evil smile. lololol. 😂😂😂

lol what the hell is he doing with the pointer toy i use to irritate my cat? 🤔🤔🤔

what in the world is shivaay wearing? 😟😟😟

lmaooooooooo. the cat toy is being used to melt whatever's holding the glass. 😂😂😂

yeah honestly anika, why do you ask? 😐😐😐

tia speaks the truth. get a job, anika. a hobby maybe. 🙄🙄🙄

like, i love anika and all, but god, i love tia so much more. she's a cold hard bitch who gets hers. 💗💗💗💗💗

or tries very hard, at least.

by this time, you could have run back home to save him by now. 🙄🙄🙄

looking at the angle the glass was falling, he was out of the danger zone. but yeah, the flying shards... oh well. 😐😐😐

TELL ME WE GET SOME AWESOME HURT/COMFORT SHIT OUTTA THIS, WITH ANIKA NURSING HIM BACK TO HEALTH. *smoochy noises* 😚😚😚

4th january

preview: idc what these ppl are yelling about all i care about is that OM IS BACK OM IS BACK OH HAPPY DAY OM IS BACK I FEEL LIKE I HAVE REASON TO LIVE AGAIN MY LONG HAIRED ARTIST BOY IS BACK!!!!! 😇😇😇

ouff, move slower shivaay. 😒😒😒

UM HOW THE FUCK DID THE GLASS JUST SHATTER SPONTANEOUSLY??? WHAT NONSENSE. 😒😒😒

GIRL, HONESTLY IN THIS TIME YOU COULD HAVE RUN THERE. 🙄🙄🙄

pft. he's fiiiiiine. just has some glass in his hair. nothing that tadi waala hair gesture of his won't fix. 😎😎😎

what's om screaming about? boy stand still and smile so i can drink you innnnnnn. 😐😐😐

what logic. there's just one paraaya, compared to allllll these apne. 🙄🙄🙄

tej, again, he's a self made billionaire. he doesn't need your money. 😑😑😑

ouff. men and their egos. 🙄🙄🙄

shivaay's been shook out of his near death experience stupor thanks to all the yelling. ouff, this fucking family. can't you let a man ponder his mortality in peace????? 😒😒😒

rudra, maybe have less selfish reasons... like, something more compelling than a fucking SANDWICH????? 😒😒😒

anika's brain be like OH BETE KIIIIIIIIII 😂😂😂

this should be a rasm for the new bahu too, witnessing the first bullshit fight that occurs in this family on a near-daily basis. 🙄🙄🙄

for once, shivaay's angry grabbing is justified and not icky. 😶😶😶

god stop being such an angsty emo bunny, om. such a drama queen you are. 🙄🙄🙄

ouff this damn new servant. 😑😑😑

yeah we got that, om. give us the REAL REASON. 😒😒😒

ooooh i think tej's trying to marry om off to some richhhhh heiress??? 🤔🤔🤔

CALLED IT!!!!!!

why's pinky making that self righteous face? it's what she was doing to shivaay too. 😶😶😶

arre bas itni si problem? nothing a little google-fu and facebook and instagram stalking can't solve! such baat ka batangad. 🙄🙄🙄

i mean, i gotta agree with tej here, arranged marriage really isn't a revolutionary concept. why's om getting so hyper like a damn white kid who's never heard of the concept? 😐😐😐

um, that's so not the reason to have kids????? 😒😒😒

he wants lurrrrrrrrrrve, tej. he wants LURVE. 😗😗😗

god this fucking murdery servant dude is getting even more footage than OM and it's pissing me offfffff. 😒😒😒

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, i mean if this argument came from anyone other than shivaay. 😂😂😂

to play devil's advocate though, he was in a relationship with tia and THINKS he knows her though. 😕😕😕

lol tej has the same idea as me. 😙😙😙

LMAO OM'S BRAIN LITERALLY SHORTCIRCUITING BEHIND TEJ, I AM LOVING IT LEMME REWIND 😂😂😂

lololololol even better the second time. 😂😂😂

bro, someone explain the structure of the oberoi businesses to me. please. i don't get it. what does shivaay do, what does tej do, how does any of this shit even work????? 😕😕😕

they're really modelled on the ambanis, i guess. 😗😗😗

tej, maybe don't disclose your petty so openly? 😬😬😬

ouff, dadi, why do you even bother? just go back to tirupati or whatever. take om with you. live in peace. 🙄🙄🙄

yeah shakti. just shut up. let a mom defend her son. 😑😑😑

what's wrong with this fucking servant, he's just going around the house tampering with everything shivaay touches. 😦😦😦

ouffffffff, jungle waala chutiyapa abhi tak khatam nahi hua. 😒😒😒

lol that weird scream. 😂😂😂

god, that's one determined rapist, going to attack prinku IN THE MIDDLE of getting his ass kicked. finish him offffff, acp. 😑😑😑

um acp??? large knife being aimed at ya girl... 😕😕😕

of course... of course acp is the one who gets slashed. 🙄🙄🙄

i wanted a shivika hurt/comfort scene. ouff, looks like i'll have to settle for this off brand nonsense instead. 😒😒😒

no? prinku's just letting him walk away? cool. 😗😗😗

ouff tej, you're like a dog with a bone, om don't currrr about your damn business. 😑😑😑

god how many times will we have to watch the same fucking argument between om and tej. i'm so bored. 🙄🙄🙄

ok tej, just stfu. THEY WERE JUST STARTING TO GET ALONG AND BE ALL CUTE AND FLIRTY AND SHIT. WHY YOU GOTTA RUIN ITTTTT????? 😑😑😑

ouff pinkyyyyyyy, shushhhhhhh.

this episode is so fucking boringgggggggggggg. ouff. 😑😑😑

oh no is svetlana back in tej's life now?????? OH NO. 😬😬😬

thank god at least one sister in the kapoor fam has a strong seduction game. watch and learn from di, tia + romi. 😎😎😎

who is svetlanaaaaa gunning for om to marry????? 😐😐😐

OHNOEOHNOEOHNOE 😯😯😯

i have this teeny tiny feeling that maybe om may end up marrying the chaddha girl, through some tej + svetlana dhokebaazi, and he's gonna hate her, but she's gonna turn out to be super nice and shit and worm her way into om's heart. #tellywoodtrashKiBhavishwyawaani 😇😇😇

dadi about to keel over from a heart attack. 😐😐😐

i feel zero sympathy tbh, coz dadi kinda deserves a tiny heart attack from the way she handled the shivaay/anika thing. 😒😒😒

the oberoi kid deserving bachpan-waala slapping is behind you, tej. he's less slap-worthy these days but give it a week or two, he's going to do something to deserve it. 😕😕😕

anika be like lord almighty i miss my bua. she was easier to handle than these ppl. 😮😮😮

calling it already, jhanvi is #bestMom2k17 👸🏽👸🏽👸🏽

good riddance. bye tejjjj.👋🏽👋🏽👋🏽

precap: shit, i thought my "bye tej" straight off dispatched him into the afterlife. 😬😬😬 nope. just some rando chick. om's girl? 🤔🤔🤔

oooh, shivaay making anika some mighty big promises. 😚😚😚

5th january

lol @ tej's hissy fit. 😆😆😆

this servant seems to have a damn phd in killing ppl. 😐😐😐

LMAO, pinky is meeeeeee. 5ever interested in the drama, but super side eye-y of it. lolololol. 😂😂😂

anika, honestly, i mean, i get your urgency, but is this the time? 🤦🏽🤦🏽🤦🏽

gaaadi hai, underwear nahi, that two people can't use one anothers'. just give him the damn keys, driver. 🙄🙄🙄

oh the plan was to kill tej all along? i have no issues with that. carry on, kapoor sisters. 🙃🙃🙃

GOOD LORD. RAPEY DUDES ARE ALSO KAPOOR SHILLS. WHAT NONSENSE. OUFF. 😒😒😒

also how the f did they send the mms to romi when acp smashed the phone last night???? 😑😑😑

anika, girl. you soundin' cray. 😶😶😶

lol the scenery chewing that this servant actor is doing. amaze. 😆😆😆

i want jhanvi's earrings. 😊😊😊

svetlana's super nonchalant "what?" at tej's impending death, i love it.

i've changed my mind, i think i love svetlana. i'm modeling my 2017 personality after her. 😍😍😍

tia, stop being such a weak bitch.  😐😐😐

OH NO JUST WHEN I GOT ON #TEAMSVETLANA, she's about to go do some suicidal stunt?!?!!! GODDAMNIT, WHY???? 😩😩😩

tej should have read @phati-sari‘s post on how to deal with failed brakes. 😊😊😊

yeah no one who takes an airbag to the face emerges looking completely fine like that. that shit deploys at like 300 kmph. 😒😒😒

oh shit u ok svetlana???? 😯😯😯

guessing this is svetlana's plan to make her way into the oberoi mansion. please don't let this end up with her marrying om tho. that's just super yucky. 😬😬😬

anika, you need to learn to communicate better. no one would believe what you're saying, the way you're saying it. 🙄🙄🙄

lol “dimaag ki dahi” what an un-shivaay like phrase. 😂😂😂

@ruMya: could you two kids just kiss alreadyyyy? 😐😐😐

ugh acp ka ott filmy dialogue. hope those big words are antiseptic and save you from catching some kinda nasty-ass infection. 🙄🙄🙄

“bohut khoon” my foot. 🙄🙄🙄

"main bura hoon, par gira hua nahi."  

LMAO WHAT NONSENSE, HOW IS YOU FORCING HER TO MARRY HER IN ORDER TO TORTURE HER ANY BETTER THAN MAKING THE MMS? IF ANYTHING, IT'S WORSE. 😒😒😒

can you two get off my screen already????? 😑😑😑

thank you.

CAN YOU TWO IDIOTS STOP FIGHTING ABOUT THIS OUT IN THE OPEN LIKE THIS???????????? 🤦🏽🤦🏽🤦🏽

oh boy, om's gonna fuckin' loseeeeee it. 😬😬😬

lol his crossed arms + "both of you shoulda died" expression. 😋😋😋

god tia, TOUGHEN UP. nafratbaaz my ass. 🙄🙄🙄

svetlana doesn't even look thaaat injured tho? like she's just got a few scrapes... 🤔🤔🤔

BREATHE, SVETLANA, I JUST STARTED LIKING YOU!!!! 😩😩😩

why is no one (anika even) noticing tia losing her shit while seeing svetlana like this? 😐😐😐

LMAO TRUST THE OBEROIS TO KEEP THEIR FIRST AID KIT IN AN ORNATE GOLDEN FILGREE EMBOSSED WOODEN BOX. 😂😂😂

loving jhanvi, pinky and om's #idgaf expressions. 🙃🙃🙃

fwding to when svetlana finally wakes the f up, coz we all know she's gonna. 🙄🙄🙄

om asking all the real questions. 🙃🙃🙃

ok that answer doesn't make sense, tej. 🙄🙄🙄

nothing gets me more heart eyed than when om calls ppl out on their shit. 😍😍😍

what “jaan par khel kar”???? she just happened to be in the way with her car, there were zero allusions that she did it intentionally. 🙄🙄🙄

finally, tej lending some credence to anika's story. 😶😶😶

pft, i only watched today's episode for the shivika scene i was promised in yesterday's precap, and instead i had to watch a whole episode of them bickering and have to wait until the next ep. 😒😒😒

6th january

preview: yay, team's all here and on a mission!!!!!! 😊😊😊

lmao the knife still in the tyre. looks like murder servant isn't that smart after all. 😆😆😆

lmaoooooo no pointtttt calling security, come on shivaay. 🙄🙄🙄

sup khanna? new year, new facial hair! 😏😏😏

lol you know khanna is here only to make fanmixes on his otp. i bet he has a thriving youtube channel filled with footage of you two. 😆😆😆

why's he calling tej when he's just indoors???? 🤔🤔🤔

says the person who whatsapps her mom from the next room about how the cat is chewing on my leg. 😶😶😶

um shivaay, please to notice that your wife is currently having a breakdown? 😶😶😶

this moment is coming across as super fake on anika's part. the whole stumbling around and talking to self thing. 🙄🙄🙄

“aap BHI mujhe chod ke chale gaye toh?” awww. baby. *pats her hair*

god shivaay, why is YELLING your go-to for everything? you didn't even try to reason with her normally, before going to yelling. 😒😒😒

bad writing/shitty editing or shitty acting on nakuul's part? 🤔🤔🤔

"main kahin nahi jaunga. na main khud jaunga, na tumhe jaane dunga."

aw. but also, kinda creepy and dakshy-sounding. depends on what mood you're in while watching. 😕😕😕

HUG!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗

oh come on, you could have totally hugggggggged. why's shivaay having sudden commitment-phobia??? 🙄🙄🙄

lol jhanvi, why so obtuse? how can someone so smart, be so fucking stupid? 😑😑😑

LMAO PINKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I FUCKING LOVE YOU 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

never let it be said that true love doesn't exist in this show. 👭🏽👭🏽👭🏽 offering to murder your sister-friend's husband's mistress is the GREATEST ACT OF LOVE that has ever been displayed in the 170-odd episodes. 💗💗💗 #female relationships mean everything to me

pinky's disappointment at jhanvi not taking her up on the offer = the best. 😂😂😂

"naagin ko full fats creams ka milks pilaao" amazing. 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

also, subtle meta reference at svetlana actress's gig on a naagin show? 🤔🤔🤔

does anika even know the whole deal with svetlana? how????? 🤔🤔🤔

kanji aankhein be shocked at...?

oh. murder servant's game is up. bye boo. it was fun watching ya overact the fuck out of everything for 3 days. 😙😙😙

rudra's brief for this episode: make an exit within 30 seconds of scene and take sumo with him. 😑😑😑

170 episodes too late, but yes, please change the security staff. 🙄🙄🙄

oh god, time for anika to maarofy heavy sanskaari statement about patni protecting pati from blah blah blah. 😑😑😑

my expression, exact same as tia's. 😒😒😒

oh boy, anika's leading tia into a phone throwing type moment. the wily minx. 😬😬😬

ooh, is this the first time tia didn't call shivaay SHIVAAY BABY? 🤔🤔🤔

lol shivaay, not much of a date if she goes alone. 😐😐😐

oh boy shivaay, don't piss tia off. she's gonna ramp up the attempts to murder you. 😬😬😬

i thought she was gonna snap his neck right there and then. 😂😂😂

lololol anika's face. 😂😂😂

methinks the shivaay doth protests too much. 😚😚😚

snorttttttt, idk if she's enjoying this or not, but I CERTAINLY AM ENJOYING THIS. 😂😂😂

nakhra is not a very hard word. neither is noor jahan. are you just stupid, shivaay? 😕😕😕

this is a silly, quite badly written scene, but they're so cute when they're unable to stop grinning around each other. 😘😘😘

tho shivaay is unusally happy for someone who almost got murdered twice today. 😕😕😕

time for oberoi mystery inc. to convene and discuss. 😎😎😎

in the most open, obvious fucking location in the house. amazing. not a single bright crayon in this box. 😒😒😒

^^^^ ACTUAL PICTURE OF THE OBEROI BOX OF CRAYONS. 🙄🙄🙄

when will my om get a girl to walk with, who loves him the way he deserves to be loved? 😞😞😞

"laser". pfffffffft. IT WAS A CAT TOYYYYY COME ON. 🙄🙄🙄

where did all the furniture in this room go? 🤔🤔🤔

lmao AJAY VERMA. might as well be named john smith. 🙄🙄🙄

also, of course he didn't come from the agency you fucking idiots. 😑😑😑

DRAMATIC TADI WAALA POSTURING! 😎😎😎

i'd be downright disappointed with tia if she wasn't eavesdropping rn.

NOOOOOOOOO DON'T LEAVE! LISTEN TO THEM PLANNING WHATEVERRRRRR! FFS TIA, ARE YOU INCAPABLE OF DOING THIS WITHOUT SVETLANA HISSING AT YOU AT ALL TIMES???? 😩😩😩

may i remind you all that they were making out like svetlana was almost in a fucking coma. still, not a single person watching over her to find that tia is visiting her and calling her "di". 🙄🙄🙄

lol svetlana's giant hair eclipsing her head bandage tho. 😂😂😂

i'm bored with this scene so here are the oberois as mystery inc. team members:

anika = velma 🤓🤓🤓 (because orange. and she's ultimately gonna be the one who solves everything.)

shivaay = fred 👦🏽👦🏽👦🏽 (requisite cis male eye candy; mileage may vary depending by case.)

sAumya = daphne 👧🏽👧🏽👧🏽 (occasionally does shit, but mostly here to fulfill the cute quota.)

om = shaggy 🙇🏽🙇🏽🙇🏽 (coz i'm sure 87% of his chill personality comes from the fact that he's 420 blazin' it up in that studio of his.)

rudra = scooby 🐶🐶🐶 (self explanatory.)

I WANT TO BURN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE UGLY FUCKING VESTS THEY PUT ON THIS MAN!!!!!!!!! 😡😡😡

ooooooooh anika sleeps in the room now! progress! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

"anika? hi? good morning? 😶😶😶" lol. awwww. 😊😊😊

goddamnit shivaay, why the fuck are you always yelling??? honestly, that too so early in the morning. 😒😒😒

"you sleep like a log." "kaun log?"

snort. 😂😂😂

"dhang ke kapde"? you rather liked this outfit the last time she wore it. couldn't stop feeling her up every two minutes. 😏😏😏

"breakfast banane jaa raha hoon, TUMHARE LIYE."

NOW i'd say my man’s on track to redemption. 😚😚😚

what can i say, i'm a hungry bitch. feed me and i'll be yours forever. i'm very much like a raccoon that way. 😇😇😇

OOOOOOOOH A GIFT. 💖💖💖💖

wait, should i be worried? 😟😟😟

coz y'know, the last time he handed her a gift wrapped box, it had divorce papers. 😕😕😕

OOOH AN IPHONE. ANIKA FINALLY JOINS THE IPHONE FAM.

inaugarate it by dirty facetiming each other. 😏😏😏

sahil is a 7 year old. AT BOARDING SCHOOL. he doesn't need a fucking phone. 🙄🙄🙄

ooooooooh. "pyaar se." girl, watch what you're asking for. you couldn't really handle his pyaar a day back. you jumped out the window coz it was too much. 😋😋😋

goddamnit, this smooth motherf... where's he suddenly getting these moves from???? 😯😯😯

ok it's an iphone. not that there's a lot of variety to CHOOSE from. calm down, shivaay. 😑😑😑

his smiley romantic mood makes me both awwwww, and also be a little freaked out. 😬😬😬

mostly freaked out. i'm really not used to it. i'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. 😕😕😕

"toh yeh pyaar se tha, ya dobara koshish karoon?"

holy shit. i... uh... 🤐🤐🤐😯😯😯

*loses my damn mind for a second*

ok i’m back... BUT WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE SHIVAAY WE KNOW AND LOATHE????? 😮😮😮

GODDAMN HIS SEDUCTION GAME... JUST... NO WORDS. 😶😶😶

i nearly jumped out my damn skin just like anika when he came back.  

"phir se blush kar rahi ho."

GET OUTTA HERE, ANIKA AND I CAN'T DEAL WITH ALL THESE FEELZ. JUST GO MAKE THE FOOD. GO. SHOO. 😩😩😩

"yeh blush kya cheez hai???? main kar bhi rahi hoon aur mujhe pata hi nahi hai!" haha awwww 😂😂😂

sAumya looks cuddly af man. i wanttttt a hug from herrrrrr! 🤗🤗🤗

why is she not dancing in her own room tho? 🤔🤔🤔

the fuck is this???? 😒😒😒

ohhhhhhhh, it’s an ad for some shit. fwding. 🙄🙄🙄

also, why is it suddenly night if shivaay just woke anika up? 🤔🤔🤔

bloody hell, what a waste of screen time, this is an extra minute i could have spent staring at om's face. #respectOmkara2k17 😩😩😩😩

[rai-jin-andro-jin]

The only good thing about my retail job is is the queer people, like one of my department execs is gay (pretty sure he knows I'm queer, too, even if he doesn't know all the details) and yesterday I was in the back room of the dressing room looking for some clothes for an order, and the door of that room has a little curtain on it, and I left it only slightly ajar so he couldn't see I was in there, and suddenly he's outside that curtain having a very serious meeting with a few of his department workers, and I'm just sitting in there, in this little back room, not wanting to interrupt, pretty sure the clothes I'm looking for aren't in there anyway, waiting to leave, but trying not to seem like I'm eavesdropping on the meeting either. And when their talk is over, I step out from behind the curtain, and the exec is slightly startled, laughs, and goes, "omg coming out of the closet, I see! You're just like me!" And I'm like, "the perfect month for it, ahhhhh!" And I'm still sitting here now, feeling really warm and safe, because yes, thank you, I'm super queer, thanks for noticing; I'm one of the very few queer ppl on this entire staff, and having this kind of interaction makes me feel really seen, even tho I'm not totally out either. Just knowing that, when I'm ready, I could come out to him — that is everything.

And in the same day, a coworker of mine — she's trans and really supportive, and the only person I'm almost fully out to on most accounts, and she and I have talked about queer representation in media, and what it's like to be queer irl at work and online, so I feel really safe talking to her about stuff — she was asking me how I was doing, and I admitted to her that I was having a rough day, and an even worse day the day before, and she asked what had happened, genuinely wanting to know, so I was sitting there telling her how much I really want to write fiction professionally and have that sort of impact and work on projects like the movies and games that inspired me and made me feel amazing. And I had planned to apply for a really cool position as a game narrative writer on a game that seemed to be looking for queer voices, so I was so excited, and then the application closed before I got a chance, and I was really upset because I feel overwhelmed by this current job, and they scheduled me on overtime too, so I had even less time to focus on pursuing stuff like this. And I just felt and still feel really stuck. And she was so encouraging. She told me earnestly to keep chasing my dreams even though I had a pitfall the other day, and really made me feel so valued and seen and needed, all without ever having read a word of my fiction, fandom-inspired or original. She was right with me, even to the fanfic bits, and that meant so much to me because not many irl people are pro-fanfic. And it just made me feel really safe and seen. She told me to keep writing, really listened to my words, really heard me, and I felt so loved right then.

All that to say:

LGBT community. Real life community, not just online. Find them out in the world and stick with them. They will help you stay afloat.