#Instead it either wants to draw(which is fine) or write for a story i had no plans to grow anymore

[oneshortlove]

Happy that I have motivation and inspiration to do things, sad that it's not for the things I want to do

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

Anti's, Twitter Freaks, and Tumblr crazies seem to have this weird itch where they believe any women under 5'6" is "a literal child". And this shit has annoyed me for forever now. What's more this conversation always comes up in regards to Loli in anime and tall men with short women IRL. So here's a poll. And then more context.

Long story short, or rather as short as I can get it. I'm getting sick and tired of the idea that age somehow doesn't matter but, physical appearance of age does somehow matter instead. Especially when it comes with the context of anime. And even then more so I get frustrated at the fact that I have to talk with anyone about what is appropriate and not appropriate IRL.

The fact of the matter is and will remain that just because a girl looks like an adult does not in any way imply that it is okay to sleep with her unless you are also underage. (And I only make that caveat, because I know I can't stop young people from screwing around with one another.) But, when I see people whining about anime specifically I often end up with people who are fans of Ryoko from Kill La Kill or Kitagawa from My Dress Up Darling. Both of whom are minors. And if you like that, then you do you. Because I understand that with anime as an aesthetic they do have a tendency to look older or younger depending on how the people writing the story wanted them to come out.

However, a lot of people have a frustrating little quirk where if it looks like a character is too short, to flat chested, or has no back-end or thighs to speak of, they assess that that character is supposed to either be or look like a child (Ignoring they treat REAL women like this). Which also ignores this fun issue:

Because let's talk age of consent shall we. Sure, it's not universal across every country but it's pretty close among first world ones. But people make a big deal of characters that short with no bust, seek out people that like that character, and will literally treat that person as if they've harmed kids IRL. Yet are seemingly NEVER angry over the abuse of real kids. What's more they will claim something is pedophilia online, THEN SHARE IT saying something like "OMFG LOOK AT THIS EPSTEIN TIER ABUSER!", and I'm sitting here like, "I don't care how old you are if you're an adult you need to be punched in the throat and if your a minor, you and your parents need to be punches in the throat". (My reasoning here is simple. If you think something is CP why would you then share it to more people rather than just report it)

Epstein abused and trafficked MANY young girls and possibly young boys to a lesser extent. A person that likes this goblin?

Isn't even close to Epstein. Because:

This is a drawing

This drawing is humanoid but doesn't look like an actual human

This character is probably older than you are

This character is a dragon

This character is FICTIONAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My point for asking ladies heights is because I'm really sick of people more or less going, "as long as you look old enough it's fine" while not realizing they literally just made the argument that age is just a number and so long as you look of age you should be allowed to be sexually abused.

[softxsuki]

FANFIC/FANART CONTEST (Money Prize)

!!!!BEFORE CONTINUING: For my U.S participants, please make sure you have Venmo or Cashapp. And for anyone outside the U.S make sure you have PayPal. That is the ONLY way I'll be able to send the prize money if you win, and I will NOT be using PayPal for an U.S winners (bc i need to pay a fee to send money with paypal and I'd rather not ).!!!!!

With that settled, hey! This is something I’ve been wanting to do for a while now, but every year has been a little tight for me with my own holiday spendings and student loans I have to pay back, but I wanted a chance to give back to you guys for all your support, and what better way than through a little contest? 

I’ve been writing on tumblr since April 2021??? I’ve put out a lot of writing for you guys, despite my horrible writing schedule and terrible deadlines I never meet. I’ve loved every minute of it and have enjoyed talking to some of you ❤️

Perhaps you've been around for a long time, or you just followed me yesterday, ooooor maybe you're finding my blog through this post, if so, welcome! I write fanfics for anime and otome games (used to write for kpop as well, but I don't anymore). If that sounds like something you like, then you're in the right place!

What do you need to do to join?:

Write either a fanfic or draw fanart to enter and get the chance to win money :). It’s the holidays season, and while I can’t give out much, I want to give something. I’ll be picking 4 winners-- 2 for fanfics and 2 for fanart. First place winners for each will get $50 and second place winners will get $25.

How to Enter:

You must be following me

For U.S participants, you must have Cash app or Venmo, and if you live outside the U.S, you must have PayPal! (if you don't and you win, you won't be able to receive your prize money!)

Choose whether you want to write a fanfic or draw fanart (only pick one. And you can only submit once)

Tag me in your completed work and add the hashtag #hanscontest2024 along with any other hashtags you want to get your work out there (this is how I'll find your work if your tag gets lost in my notifications)

Add in your Cash app or Venmo ID to the bottom of your work (you can delete this once the contest is over if you want, just wanna make sure people who enter actually have one) Participants outside the U.S who will be using PayPal, I won't ask you to put your private info on here, but just please make sure you have one. And instead, just state which country you're from so I know you're an international participant! Thanks

Rules/Guidelines for Each Topic:

Fanfic Writers:

Your fics must be a minimum of 1k words, I don’t have a maximum, but I’d feel bad if you wrote a whole fic and didn’t win…but length doesn’t determine who wins, quality does!

You MUST pick a character from the list below. I’ve added fandoms and characters that I personally don’t write for as well, but enjoy (since I’ll be reading all of these, I’d like to read things for characters I like!)

Fem!Reader or Gn!Reader only please (Again, I’ll be spending time reading these and as a woman, I’d relate more to reader if I can relate to them. But if you have a male reader in mind, you can still enter, just write it gender neutral please!)

I am a SFW blog, but I’ll be accepting slightly NSFW submissions for this contest. Just please no straight up porn with no plot. I need plot to actually get into a story :(

Idea’s must be your own and must be new and written specifically for this contest! No plagiarizing, and no fics that you’ve already written and posted online or you’ll be disqualified 

No non-con/rape, no incest, no poly, no character x character, no drugs (alcohol and smoking are fine, just no weed, no other drugs pls), no religion mocking, no racism, no hateful speech towards any group of ppl pls

Only one submission per person (I’ll be able to tell through writing style or if you make another account to join again and you’ll be disqualified) 

That’s about it. As for grammar, I have a hard time reading things that don’t flow well or have grammar mistakes. SOOOO for my younger writers out there who don’t know some grammar rules, or maybe even my writers who don’t have English as a first language, or maybe even writers who’d like a proofreader, I’m willing to read through your drafts to correct any minor grammar mistakes. I won’t be helping with anything else, like how to progress your story, or plot holes or anything like that, only grammar. My editing help will not increase your chances of winning either or guarantee you to win. 

For Fanart: 

Like the writers, you must pick a character from the list below

Artwork can be physical or digital, just no AI artwork please, or you’ll be disqualified 

Can be any medium; digital, drawing, painting, etc—just make sure it’s complete. Preferably some color would be great as well, unless you’ve chosen an artistic route to not use color

Just characters please, no readers. And no ships…you can choose several characters from the list and incorporate them into one piece, but just no romantic ship artwork plssss

Must be your own work and new! I’ll be reverse searching every image to make sure it doesn't already exist

Each image must have a little turtle in it somewhere in the artwork (just as an indicator that it’s really yours. Why turtles? Because I love them heh)

I’ll allow suggestive artwork, just please don’t send in anything explicit (you know what I mean)

Some more general rules:

Please make sure you’ve read and understand all the rules written. If you submit something that breaks one of these rules, you’ll be disqualified. So if you have any questions or need anything clarified, just ask me :)

If you’re a minor, please don’t send in NSFW content, I’ll disqualify you. Also I'm leaving this open to all ages, just know you won't be able to use the prize money or receive it if you don't have a bank account...so I guess that would be 16 and up? Idk what the age is to start your own bank acc lol

NO AI ART WORK OR WRITING ALLOWED. This is your chance to be creative and showcase you, in whichever way you decide

NO Stealing other people’s work…just don’t do it

Please don’t trauma dump on me, or beg me to choose you as the winner. I know there are people out there who would really need this money and who are struggling. I feel for you all, but I can’t afford to send everyone money. I can’t handle hearing how badly everyone needs this…my guilt won’t be able to handle it. I’ll disqualify you if you do, if many people do it, I’ll end the contest entirely. This is supposed to be fun with the added benefit of winning some money for yourself if you win

The creative freedom is yours! Write whatever you want to write about, make it unique, grab my attention. Draw/paint/create whatever you want with whatever ideas you have; whether it’s turning Bakugou into a boxer, or making Zoro a girl dad, the possibilities are endless. I want everyone to have fun with this!

Again, US participants must have cash app or Venmo and participants outside of the US must have PayPal! If you don’t then you won’t be able to receive the prize money if you win!

Deadline: December 22th @11:59pm 

Please let me know if you have any questions about anything. Again, grammar editing can be requested. I’ll be going over only grammar. I won’t be giving you advice on how to write your story or how to advance your story/plot holes or things I don’t like. Only grammar! If you want to run your story idea or art idea by me first to make sure it’s acceptable, you can do that as well. I’ll be around :)

I was thinking over how to choose the winner. At first I was going to do a poll, but I realized it would be biased towards users who have more followers than others. So I will be choosing the winners myself. Looking at fine details and works that really speak to ME, hence why I’ve chosen specific characters. 

Not sure how much attention this will get or how many people will enter, for all I know, only two people might enter and the money will go straight to them, or no one might enter…so this is a test trial. If no one joins, I shall delete and pretend like it never happened. But if it’s successful, then maybe I’ll make it a yearly thing! Giving back for the holidays :) <3

Good luck and hope you all have fun with this! 

List of Characters to Choose From:

One Piece: | Portgas D. Ace | Ben Beckman | Bartolomeo | Buggy | Crocodile | Dragon… | Franky | Gol D Roger | Katakuri | Kidd | Luffy | Law | Mihawk | Shanks | Smoker | Sabo | Sanji | Whitebeard | Zoro |

Genshin Impact: | Alhaithaim | Childe | Diluc | Neuvillette | Wriothesley | Zhongli |

Haikyuu: | Akaashi | Atsumu | Bokuto | Iwaizumu | Kageyama | Kita | Kuroo | Oikawa | Osamu | Suna | Ushijima | Ukai |

Tears of Themis: | Artem | Luke | Marius | Vyn |

Love and Deepspace: | Rafayel | Sylus | Xavier | Zayne |

Fire Force: | Benimaru | Hinawa | Konro | Obi | 

Honkai Star Rail: | Blade | Dan Heng | Jing Yuan | 

Blue Lock: | Barou | Kunigami | Rin | Sae | 

My Hero Academia: | Pro Hero Bakugou | Dabi | Edgeshot | Fatgum | Hawks | Pro Hero Kirishima | Pro Hero Kaminari | Pro Hero Midoriya | Pro Hero Shinsou | Pro Hero Shoto | 

Tokyo Revengers: | Baji | Draken | Kazutora | Mikey | Mitsuya | Ran | Rindou | Shinichiro | Sanzu | 

Obey Me: | Beelzebub | Barbatos | Diavolo | Lucifer | Mammon | Solomon | 

Jujutsu Kaisen: | Choso | Gojo | Geto | Higuruma | Itadori | Megumi | Nanami | Sukuna | Toji | Yuuta | 

Wuthering Waves: | Calcahoro | Jiyan |

Yona of the Dawn: | Hak | Jaeha | Shinah |

Demon Slayer: | Giyuu | Obanai | Rengoku | Sanemi | Tengen | 

Attack On Titan: | Eren | Levi | Niccolo | 

Naruto: | Itachi | Kakashi | Sasuke | 

Mystic Messenger: | Jumin | Saeyoung | 

Spy x Family: | Loid | Yuri |

Inuyasha: | Sesshomaru |

Snow White with the Red Hair: | Obi |

Good Luck <3

[imshymorph]

Okay so, this has been in my WIPs for a while, and to be honest i don't thik its going to get any better. Also i was about to hit post and i accidentally closed my tumblr app and obviously it didn't save as a draft :) Anyway, it's about sex but it's not splicit. Still, i'll say it, NSFW MDNI

I missed you sex with soft!price under the cut.

Altough i’m not sure i would call it sex, even, it’s straight up love making.

It’s about the way you know you’ll be in missionary the whole time because he’s been away for 10 weeks —or maybe it was 12 or 13, whatever, way too many— and all he could think of during the whole time was to have you all safe and sound between his arms. Of course, the best way to make sure of that is to have you caged underneath his broad body, head tilted down to look at you, to see every bit of your pleasure.

Is constant eye contact, because at nighttime he’d look up at the moon, knowing that even if you were thousands of kilometres away, at night you were covered by the same glow. When he looks at the specks in your eyes, the different shades of color in them, he swears it’s more magical than any starry night he’s ever seen.

It's in that moment he realises he’d much rather be in your arms and looking into what he’s sure is the door to your soul, than seeing the wonders the milky way hides from the naked eye.

What i’m saying is that the important thing is to kiss each other, to prove that nothing has changed these last few months. Prove that you’re as much in love with the other as you were before the god forsaken deployment. That you care much more about the feel of his lips against yours than you do the burn that sets in your lungs for holding your breath for so long.

It's love making because what is supposed to be foreplay can drag for hours before either of you even think about moving onto a different thing. Hours in which you take turns worshipping the other, covering them in kisses and soft touches, in praises and compliments.

Moments in which you follow the lines of his scars, your lips trailing kisses from one to the other. You’ve already got all of them memorised, which means you instantly recognise a new one he must have gotten this time. It's between kisses and soft touches that he reassures you that it’s fine and healed now, love. When he shares with you the non-confidential version of what happened. All of it happening as you draw a map, every kiss a little step of his journey to this point, every kiss stopping to pay attention and homage to the marred parts of his skin as if they were landmarks of nature, before your lips continue in their little journey.

Until the tables turn, because you deserve as much —who is he trying to fool, you’re much more deserving that he could ever be of— worshipping. Instead of big and jaded bullet or stab wound scars, his lips trail the constellations that get drawn on your skin by your freckles and stretch marks.

His lips paying as much attention to that scar you got when you were 7 and fell with your bike, that’s faded but never really gone away, as you did the ones that he got when a building collapsed on him after a grenade went off. He'll ask, even if he knows every story by heart, having memorised when you’ll giggle and when you’ll pause, when you’ll tell it fondly and when it will be in embarrassment; he’ll still ask about every single little mark on your skin. Because they show who you are and what you’ve lived, and he craves to know every page in the book of your life.

Luckily he has the privilege of having being writing it alongside you for years now. Because he wants to fill in the blanks on the parts you’ve had write separately due to the distance. More importantly, because he has the privilege to write along with you for years to come.

A kind of reunion where neither of you care if you finish, because what matters is the physical closeness. What’s important is feeling that the other is there, safe and sound. Hell, half of the time, when john gets back from a deployment like this, he ends up going soft still inside you. Meanwhile the both of you are too busy kissing and whispering love confessions to each other. Who cares when now that he’s here you’ll have more than enough time to reach orgasms.

I’m talking about his left hand constantly on yours, fingers interwoven because he needs the cold of your wedding band against his flushed skin as much as you need his against yours. Because he needs to be grounded and to be sure that you’re there and you’re not just a dream he’s having. Because you both need to know your spouse is really there and will still be, that the love of your life is safely home with you and that when you wake up in the morning, they’ll still be in your arms.

I’m talking about John Price finally knowing He's made it to you. Knowing he’s made it home.

[tamelee]

pls bottom naruto is disgusting stop drawing this ooc cringe

Eh? And it hadn't even been a full day.

Anyway, do you know what this means?:

It means… that I don’t give a damn about your whiny gibberish about this top/bottom bullshit, because it sounds incredibly silly. (And wrong because I draw both?)

It’s fine to have a preference, good for you (I have one too!), but if all you care about between a character-dynamic is the single notion which establishes a rule within a fandom that demands only this particular dick in only that particular booty and nothing else, while dividing yourselves between "us and them" while seeing the people who like the same exact characters as your "enemy" and treating them as such— well, 

I have nothing to say to you, I couldn’t care less what you think about me and I don’t know you. 

But for the sake of other creators who are often a target also, some which I know quit because of this… there is a little something I'd like to say about these servers:

You don’t think I (we) know what is said in there and by who? 👀 That your rules of "what is said on here stays here" with a bunch of people online that you don't know, is actually respected? Why do you think I never join any. And bet your ass that I'm not the only one. This constant fighting between NS/SN is such an embarrassment for this fandom, seriously. I hope you realize that.

Because, instead of encouraging a (new) creator to share something about the characters you claim to love (for fucking free) you go off chastise them for not “doing it right”/“your way”, pretending it's some unspoken commission no one knew of or was paid for. Instead of being happy there’s still so much creative contribution for characters from a story that ended years ago, you go complain under fanfics and dishearten writers, often grinning away with your little server-“friends” and make fun of work someone poured their heart in. Or, you huff, puff and breathe fire as you make plans to cancel them out of pure bitterness, to the point (especially new) creators are too scared and dispirited to ever share anything again. It's easy to do anonymously, aye? And if you think that doesn’t affect their lives and sends them right back into a crestfallen pit of dark hell because it prevents them to do/share the single thing in life that gave them a bit of joy, then...

Congratulations; you’re a heartless bastard.

And you, as a fan, did yourself dirty too.

Do you know how many people don’t want to share anything at all for this fandom because you people leave comments, tags, asks, tweets constantly complaining about an incorrect portrayal of the (in your opinion) only acceptable dynamic, like a bunch a brats? Do you? Because I’ve talked to quite a few of these discouraged creators, they have to hope for the best and pray they’re spared from your scrutiny. I receive it from both sides every now and then.

Again, congratulations: you’re the reason there’s less chance of you getting what you want in the first place. 

Do you... really not realize?

The more you squabble with "your enemy" (lol) the more it affects the "us" you care about while the rest of us just bask in the glory that is SNS/NSN and couldn't care less about what you think/have to say. So, keep everyone else out of it and go mope elsewhere.

But, between you and me? There are better ways to share what you think is right. Make something yourself, because what's stopping you?

You’re perfectly capable, it doesn’t have to be art or a fic, maybe there’s just something in the story that you really enjoyed— write about it. Make a meta. Post the panel, show the moment that determined your undying love for this single dynamic and why— whatever.  Because, wouldn't it be nice having someone encourage you to create something you like? 😬 Especially because you and your server feel so strongly about it? And then you don't have to depend on others either?

Wouldn't it be nice?

Well?

Hm!?

Try it, ffs.

[crows-heart]

Howdy Pillar Headcanons :D

be aware this is my first time writing on tumblr so if its a tad odd in some places, i apologize :))) i should be doing my math work i missed or sleeping but guess what i wont

cw: staring mentions (?), howdy being cheesy, i think that's it? ( i do not know how to tag stories)

(look at the funky man!!)

Dating Howdy!!

i just KNOW this man loves to give hugs from behind

everytime you're doing literally anything that has you with your back exposed, he's going to pick you up

you could be in the middle of cleaning and next thing you know four limbs are wrapped around you and you're being picked up

he is both big spoon and little spoon, ignore the fact that he's like 7 foot/213 cm

if you don't like being hugged/touched, that's fine! he likes to make sure that you're comfortable with how he shows affection.

instead of hugging you, he tends to move things around to make it more accessible for you (especially if you enjoy cooking/baking, there are a lot of things in the howdy-sized cabinets but not the y/n-sized cabinets)

sometimes he does purposefully move things out of your reach to have you call him over for help so he can come bother you >:)

that is until you learned that you can climb on the counters... (as someone who is short, this is in fact the most effective way of getting things [dont do this])

he loves holding hands with you! regardless of whether you're in public or at home, he enjoys making sure that you don't get lost /j ("Its hard to see you all the way down there, neighbor!")

he is also a big fan of pinky holding <3

i hc him to have some anxiety issues, so this is a big reason why he enjoys holding hands/pinkys

it's become a big way to help him calm down, and if you start rubbing shapes (?) into his hand it makes things a lot better (he does it to you too <3)

after a long day at the bugdega (bodega? I've seen someone call it that so I'm calling it that bc it's funky!), he will fwump literally anywhere it is convenient for him to do so

let's just hope you're not on the couch/bed because you are a candidate for him to do so! (good luck)

he constantly is making sure that you're ok, mentally and physically! he is a great listener, and he gives great advice too.

everytime you try to help him out at the bugdega, he CANNOT focus

he will literally stare at you for ages until either you or a neighbor points out he's doing so ("howdy, are you ok?" "huh- oh yeah! it's just that you're really pretty...")

he also gives you an 100% discount if you agree to a kiss

either he's really cheesy, or he's reciting poetry to you, there is in fact, no in-between

"i love you berry much! *holds out a strawberry*"

"If i was to be given the option of eternal life, i would turn it down, for a life without you is not one worth living."

all in all, your relationship is berry sweet!! (help i regret writing that)

Being friends with Howdy!!

if YOU have chaotic energy, HE has chaotic energy

he could be cheerfully having an exchange with julie to chanting "thief" to wally in the corner with you (art idea??? might make this)

howdy is great at adapting to your current mood! if you're being funky and all gremlin-like, so is he! if you're tired or sad, he makes sure to give you your time and space to talk if you want!

regardless of this, he does give mother-friend energy

not in the sense of like making sure you're sunscreened, but just looking out for you and making sure you're ok :O)

he LOVES to spook you. regardless of how tall he is, he is in fact, great at sneaking around!

he is also good at being quiet on his feet, which does not end well when you're in the middle of doing something

i feel like he is genuinely a sweet guy, but when he's with friends, he's a totally different caterpillar

if tiktok existed then, you would constantly point at him and say "caterpillar" in that voice (y'know the one from the audio that everyone draws frank spying on howdy with [i absolutely love that audio])

HE KNOWS ALL OF THE GOSSIP OOH JUST YOU WAIT

"did you hear? frank and eddie are finally dating!" "HAH WALLY OWES ME HIS APPLE SUPPLY"

wally is definitely a part of your guy's shenanigans btw it's canon I'm howdys hat

if howdy needs something delivered (most likely wallys hairspray/apples) and eddie isn't available, he asks you! you're practically a second employee so you might as well ahshefs

you still get an 100% discount, since you know, you're kinda working there so that's fabulous!!

he's practically your babysitter at this point i just kinda imagine y/n being one of the leash kids

he can and will throw you on top of his shoulders, you think he's not buff under those sleeves? he has to carry around literal HUNDREDS of apples for wally pretty much everyday

i feel like he likes making things with his hands (I'm really projecting here arent i)

HE LIKES MAKING TINY THINGS OK OK GLAD WE CAN AGREE

random little figurines or things you enjoy will just appear. you have little to no clue where they came from but that's fineee

he knows some of the most obscure things, either about you, or anything really

he loves hearing people infodump about anything! he loves learning new things about people's special interests :D

at the end of the day, he appreciates being your friend so much! he's so glad he got to meet you <3

i am very tired so im probably going to sleep now!! i really liked making this but headcanons are not, in fact, my strong suit. requests are open, i would love to write some more for welcome home!!

[thetriggeredhappy]

where i’m like, at, creatively

like what's my dealllllll

so i’ve noticed a pretty big uptick in new people around here lately and i wanted to cover a few bases since i’m realizing it’s been a pretty long time since i had a fireside chat with the room. this is for a few reasons - first of all, i don’tttttt like talking about myself! i feel like sometimes notes on what’s up with me and how i’m doing can come across as invitations to talk a lot about my personal life, and i’m not really here to get into it. i really do prefer the anonymity of the stuff i do here. not a ton of people i know in real life have any idea at all what i do creatively, and inversely not many people who know me for my writing or whatever know anything about my real life. love that separation! big fan of it! that’s why i go by the alias Trigger, don’t have very many mentions of any facet of my identity, my location, don’t even really have my general age listed (i’m an adult, that’s all i’m comfortable sharing). i’m not, uh. a very confident person i guess? but with that said, i’m fine with talking about broad strokes stuff, and with talking about the stuff i make. so let’s go over it!

i’m not really known on here for anything beyond my writing, but i actually do various different creative stuff. i make music, i draw, i paint, i know a few instruments, i sew and make props, i’m a chef (like. professionally. that’s my job in real life. like, i’m my boss and i just answer to the owner of the restaurant. i made my menu. we’re actually expanding it at the moment). my fanwork is definitely a passion of mine, i love doing character analysis and riffing with other people and collaborative work, that kind of thing, but i also do like. a lot of original work.

“I KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING DONT CANCEL TAKING SHOTS—“ i’m not. i’m fully not. taking shots is just gonna be well over 150k words by the end of it and i’m running the marathon, not the sprint. that’s gonna continue to publish slowly over time. that’s not where i’m going with this. i have an outline, i know the plot, i just have to write the scenes and paint the spaces between the bigger arc of it and figure out the points between A and Z, and that’s going to take a while. if that means that fic is done in fuckin 2030, so be it.

my problem here is twofold. first of all, i have what the doctors call “a chronic depressive disorder” and “the good old neurodivergence that means you’re a perfectionist and also incapable of starting things”. there’s a part of me that really wants to ‘just’ hammer out Taking Shots and wrap it all up and do the damn thing and wipe off my hands and take a bow or ten before i move on, but i’m aware that my internal motivation issues are going to make that task take an incredibly long time. the second part of the problem is that i’m going to feel intense guilt pretty much all of the time if i split my attention between an original work and the fanwork i’ve already started, because in my mind, i’d be doing a half-measure of both of them rather than a sufficiently good job of either.

i know that doesn’t make sense, probably because it doesn’t. but honestly, for a longass time, me wanting so bad to start making my original work A Thing I Do, yet feeling bad for not instead doing more of my fanwork (which i know people really enjoy), has just been putting the pole through the spokes of the wheels on both of those projects.

so i’m biting the bullet. fuckin’ whatever.

Taking Shots is going to continue to keep its irregular infrequent schedule - i generally write more Taking Shots whenever i get really really annoyed with myself that i haven’t written more Taking Shots. in the meantime, i’m also going to start making and posting more about my original work.

i’m making a comic.

it has a title, i’ve scripted a ton of it, i have the plot and characters and worldbuilding and development, i know how it begins and what happens and how it ends. i started working on the story and the world around 2016, and i’m pretty happy with it. it’s going to take years to make the entire thing, as it’s going to be hundreds of pages per arc and a number of arcs in totality, and i plan to post pages as i go, maybe individually, maybe in small batches. it’s a fantasy setting, what with the elfs ‘n legally distinct hobbitses ‘n shit, adventure comedy, character driven narrative. i’ve made a separate blog to house it, and here soon the plan is to start showing off what i’ve already got, whatever isn’t spoilers, break out the title and some of the pages. my plan, eventually (and i mean EVENTUALLY) is to open a patreon or whatever the thing is by the time i get there. i’d fuckin’ love to just, like, make art and stuff full time, but realistically, i do need to hold down a real job for a while, even assuming i can make a living on art. i don’t have anyone to support me financially, so that does need to come first.

my artfight victims and opponents (my beloved) have already met a bunch of the characters, and some of you who have been around for a while probably also know about them. it’s not a secret or anything. i just don’t want to lean on the crutch of like, building a brand and hype for characters before i make the media. i don’t like stuff like that. you’ll see it as you see it. i love talking about my process and thoughts while making things and about character writing, and i’m open to questions or conversations about the comic and the characters, but like, i’m probably not gonna open with “and here’s the plot outline”. that’s a lot.

i want to be transparent now rather than later that no matter what i do, including making a patreon (or whatever), fanwork of any kind won’t be housed there. this doesn’t mean i’m giving up my fan stuff or that it’s dropping down the list as a priority. that hat is being hung up someday, maybe, but Taking Shots ends either when i’ve written all of it or when i’m dead in the fucking ground. this is partially because of, y’know, legality, because you really aren’t allowed to profit off of fan writing in the same way you might on fanart or whatever, but even if i was legally allowed to i wouldn’t necessarily want to. i don’t like the idea of making any significant amount of money on fan content, i don’t ever want enjoying media to have monetary incentive for me. that sucks. fan stuff is an outlet for me and i don’t like the thought of profiting off of enthusiasm. that seems like it would get a little parasocial.

this is my main blog, i’m probably going to keep using it for fan stuff a lot, and most of my comic stuff is gonna go on the same blog as the actual pages, and i’ll probably make some kind of dedicated webpage for the comic as well, and at some point i’m gonna make an executive decision on where i want to host any q&a for the comic - probably here. i’m hoping that getting vocal about my original work stuff will help me, like… commit a little harder? i work on it way more frequently than my fan stuff, like it’s not even close, but there’s kind of this sense of “and it’ll happen someday”. maybe that someday could be, like, before the heat death of the universe. because it doesn’t need to take that long. i have so much done.

that’s the synopsis. if you’re interested in my music, that’s over here. i’m probably going to reblog some of the comic-related art onto here every once in a while, but i don’t plan on reblogging individual pages onto here or anything like that. thanks for the read! let me know what you guys think!

[blueteller]

I have a TCF CHALLENGE!

I dare anyone to write a TCF fic which does NOT fit any of these categories!

Time? Unlimited!

Rules:

At least 10K words in total, not including author's notes (it's not about a drabble or a concept; we want a solid, finished story!)

Cannot be a one-shot (doesn't need to be super long tho; 2-3 chapters are fine, as long as they're at least more than 10K words in total)

Cannot be a shipping fic (cause I don't read shipping fics lol. Sorry)

Cannot be merely "slightly AU" - in the sense it can't be canon content with minor details changed. For example, my fic "On My Mark" would not count becase I literally draw canon scenes one by one and make them Platonic Soulmark AU. That can't cut it. Either make completely new scenes, or make it VERY AU. Preferably the first one.

Type of fics encouraged:

Unexplored backstories of various characters (examples: Soos trio content, young Eruhaben)

"Off screen" scenes from canon (example: people fighting the White Star while Cale was orbed in the Sealed God's Test)

Canon divergence ideas (example: Cale transmigrated days before Harris Village massacre happens, but we know that the White Star shows up there and therefore It's A Big Problem)

Interesting AUs which do not show up in our fandom often (example: Mango_To_Sleep's Pirate AU)

Crack fics (must still be more than single chapter tho! And not a collection of one-shots; storyline needed! Example: Cale has ADHD and instead of Not Sharing Enough with people he Talks All The Time except it explains nothing and it leaves people confused and concerned for his sanity 😂)

Unique fusion crossovers, which take place entirely in TCF verse (example: put Corona kingdom from Tangled in the Eastern Continent and have Cale meet Disney's Rapunzel)

Good luck! Let's enrich this fandom guys!!

I myself already have an idea in mind, which is both a crossover fusion (in a sense, but only loosely), an AU and canon divergence, all while being slightly crack. Should be fun~! 💖

[animeomegas]

Hello!! I’m so happy that the 4K event is here you totally deserved it!! Your writing is immaculate and makes me want to make my own blog :,)

I love anything you write with Kiba, your characterization of him so fun. So could I Request a story with him, where him and reader are not so secret lovers👁️ Like Kiba has made it CLEAR that that’s his alpha. Nobody else’s.

And ik this is isnt in the activity list which ik you said was fine but I’m not sure if it counts as an activity😭 but maybe kibas reaction to Reader’s parents trying to force them into accepting concubines ( either bc they don’t approve of kiba or thats just the tradition or culture in Alphas nation)

If that doesn’t count I totally understand!!

Kiba and Alpha getting fortunes told together would also be really cute!!😊😊maybe the fortune teller is appalled about how many pups they see in their future💀

CONGRATS AGAIN!!

Thank you! You're so sweet!! <33 And you should totally start your own blog, just saying 👀👀 The fortune telling thing is part of it, but I decided to go for another little plot. Enjoy~

...

KIBA + NOT SO SECRET LOVERS + A CONVERSATION WITH PARENTS

Warnings: minor n-sfw themes

"Is it Kiba?" you demanded again, fiddling with the ridiculously fancy clothes you had been forced into.

"Stop asking impertinent questions, child," you mother reprimanded, rolling her eyes. "Your fiancé will be arriving in a moment and I'm sure you have eyes that function well enough to discern his identity when the moment arrives."

"If it's not Kiba, then I will refuse to marry him," you sulked, crossing your arms.

Your father simply cuffed you over the back of the head.

You huffed, turning away from them both.

"It better be Kiba," you mumbled. They ignored you.

You were sitting in one of the drawing rooms and the plan was for some of your servants to bring your new husband and his family in to meet you.

As the door creaked open, you stood up with your parents, heart jumping in your chest. Who was it?

All the stress melted out of you when you were greeted by a grinning Kiba and his mother.

"Kiba," you breathed, grinning back at him.

Kiba launched himself forward, adeptly dodging his mother's attempt to pull him back, and pressed his lips against yours. You flailed for a moment, but the feeling of his lips on yours was a familiar one, and quickly your hands settled on his waist and tugged him every closer. The wet heat of his lips had heat pooling in your stomach, and you forgot about your audience until Kiba was suddenly dragged away from you.

"What did I tell you about staying by my side, you brat!" Tsume had Kiba by the scruff of his neck.

You didn't hear Kiba's response because your own mother gripped your arm and pulled you back as well.

"If anyone finds you knotted before your wedding night, you will not enjoy the consequences," she whispered into your ear. You noted that she didn't try to forbid you from knotting Kiba, just knotting him where someone could find you.

Your father cleared his throat.

"If everyone has come to their senses-"

"I was perfectly sensible," Kiba grumbled, his mother tugging his ear to get him to shut up.

"The final arrangements and negotiations can be made."

Everyone sat. Kiba tried to sit by your side, but his mother's grip was solid, so he sat facing you instead.

"Firstly, we must-"

"When is our wedding?" you interrupted, feeling the heat come back as Kiba winked at you.

Your mother closed her eyes for a moment like she was praying for patience.

"We will get to that, but there are some negotiations that must-"

"Negotiations?" Kiba interrupted this time. "I want at least seven pups."

Your father sputtered, choking on his tea while your mother closed her eyes again. Kiba's mother whispered something harsh in his ear.

"I'll give your fourteen," you pledged. "As many as we can manage."

"For heaven's sake!" your mother exclaimed, reaching the end of her tether. "If either one of you says another word, the wedding will be off!"

You knew better than to push your luck, but there was no rule against heated eye-fucking, so you and Kiba managed to amuse yourselves without words.

[woodenfawn]

Re Zero Highschool AU Concept

very new to tumblr, sorry if i mess anything up!

mey and i just talked about this and threw it together and had a lot of fun with it XD I'm at arc 6 and mey is anime-only so far, so some things may be inaccurate, and some characters are not included!

If there are things you want to suggest please do, but any spoilers should be either really vague or plot-irrelevant (like, outside of main plot developments. Side stories are fine i think!) mey's notes from our conversation, I'll put some of my individual thoughts in at the end (Thank you @tanya-degurechaff for letting me ramble about my blorbos for so long! and watching re zero!!! and everything!!!)

Click on the keep reading to see all the notes, i think???

Shitty Re:Zero Highschool AU

All the king candidates are all part of the Student Body, all running for Student Body President. That's the competition.

Emilia is an awkward transfer student. Her step-dad, Betelgeuse, had to move for work purposes. She looks a lot like the weird girl, Satella, which people isolate her for. Emilia deepest secret: watches 70s TV shows. Her clothes look vintage. She watches Antique Roadshow. When she goes to Anime Club, she finds out the anime she likes are very out of date. (Astroboy). 

Subaru is the leader of the anime club and he instantly falls in love with Emilia and invites her to join. She takes the invite. Besides anime club, he also goes to the QSA, but as a student named Natsumi Schwartz and it's 100% convincing everyone.

Julius hates Subaru guys he swears. Julius is the captain of the fencing team and hangs out with Reinhard very often. He and Reinhard go to the chess club every Wednesday after school. Julius is also a secret LARP-er and goes to Ren fairs as a cool knight. 

Reinhard is a straight-A, valedictorian, star of all of the sports team golden students. He's planned to take the Astrea Company after he graduates. Secretly, Reinhard wants to be a shoujo manga artist. He keeps his shitty Manga in a pink sketchbook at the back of his locker. He goes to the Anime Club with Subaru and that's the only time he can draw.

Otto had a lot of trouble in elementary school and barely talked, rather interested in his anthills instead of people. As he got older, he started making friends and now hangs out at the anime club. He's known as the student janitor, cleaning up after everyone else. He also lays facedown in dirt talking to bugs. He's autistic and has a special interest… in bugs/nature in general. Sensitive hearing, uses noise canceling headphones. Scalper. Theater Tech. Stage manager. 

Garfiel is a freshman who's known to cause a lot of trouble and hates school. He's actually a youtuber who makes shitty rage roblox and minecraft trolling videos in his freetime. He's quite popular with elementary school boys. Calls Subaru Captain in school, follows him around. Great at sports

Rem is a VTuber for LugunicaEN. Her Oni form is her Vtuber model. Very popular for her genuine talks, she does ASMR, gives advice to people. She's very kind. Writes fanfiction. 

Ram is just a girl 👍. Mobility aid user. 

Priscilla is a theater girl, she acts like she is the best actress. Tries for all the lead elegant female roles. She's a good actor, just a little bit annoying. 

Roswaal is the theater teacher.

Wilhelm principal 

Crusch also does Fencing Club. She's very academically intelligent, though struggles socially. A good leader.

Ferris is the TA for the nurse. Also Vtuber for LugunicaEN. Openly part of the QSA, no one realizes she's a girl somehow. Girlfriends lesbians Crusch.

Liliana is an older student who gets held back, joins theater because she's a great singer. Priscilla has a sexuality crisis and becomes a woman lover.

Anastasia is part of the student body beforehand.

Otto is friends with Subaru's mom.

The triplets are all in the DnD club. It's just the three of them. Mimi is a Berserker.

Subaru is good artist, great at sewing. 

Ferris can also draw. They draw together and talk about their girlfriends. 

Emilia CANNOT draw. Worse than Reinhard.

Puck is the cool teacher, knows everything. Wise…

Beatrice is the librarian. Looks like a student, is not. Never leaves the school, no one knows why. 

Echindna is a history/english/science etc. Teacher, teaches everything no one else teaches. How is she doing this.

Satella is a weird girl who has never really talked to anyone. Advises the anime club, no one talks to her. Has a weird shrine in the girl's bathroom. 

Minerva is the school therapist, part of the health and social relationships classes. She's just so sweet… she takes care of the therapy dogs. Aggressively supportive of everyone. She's like a shaking chihuahua. Tries to act threatening, is just not. Really likes Emilia.

Felt is the youngest running for student body. She really wants two lunchtimes. That's her goal. 

Rom is the gym teacher 

Fredrica is the older sister of Garfiel, top student. She and Crusch are friends. Ready to graduate, just a girl. Trying to control her younger brother.

Henkel stands outside of Reinhard's class window shaking his head in disappointment.

Reinhard likes magical girls a lot, he just wants to help. He genuinely loves power of friendship stories. Really likes Tokyo Mew Mew and made Felt watch it. Reinhard likes to cosplay magical girls for cons and drags Felt along. 

Subaru convinces Reinhard to get Tumblr, does not know how to use it. Reinhard: "Dear Diary, I had breakfast today, two eggs and a toast." He also texts using the glitter flowers gifs with shiny text.

Al is a stage crew guy who follows Priscilla around. Otto doesn't know what to think about him. 

Otto disappears for days at a time. He is camping.

Garfiel is secretly a furry. His fursona is based on Garfield. Has commissioned Ferris.

Ferris is a furry artist. The Vtuber and Furry stuff is completely different.

Garfiel almost stopped going to school, Subaru convinced him to stay because he's been there before. Garfiel respects Subaru because of this and that's why he follows him around.

Petra is an elementary schooler who visits the highschool. On friendly terms with all the teachers. Why is this child here. 

Elsa is the science teacher, especially biology. Seems just fine at first, but has some… moments that's a bit terrifying. Everyone ignores that.

Meli is a future scientist, best friends with Elsa.

Gluttony twins are great students and hang out in the cafeteria all the time. Right below Reinhard, Crusch and Julius. Acts like delinquents.. 

Regulus is a horrible teacher. Terrible man. The kind of teacher that's like "your learning depends on how I'm feeling today", hated by everyone. 

Capella is not in the school… she. She is not in this au. Gets booted in this HS au.

Sirius is a very sweet teacher. She's the kind of teacher that's almost childish, really wants everyone to get along. She almost seems condescending, but she's genuine about it. Obsessed with Betelgeuse, every time he visits Emilia, she flirts. 

Pandora is the one who keeps Regulus in line. A faculty member. Philosophy Teacher.

Hector is a sad janitor man. Otto took over his job.

Tonchinkan are the three school delinquents, but strangely friends with Felt and therefore associated with Reinhardt (who's trying to keep them in line).

Daphne is the Lunch lady. 

Typhon is a student who's really into philosophy. Bad at it. Misquotes things often. Probably says a Lord of the Rings quote trying to be smart. Googles "how 2 be smart"

Sekhmet is a no nonsense teacher, she doesn't like being a teacher, but good at her job.

Individual notes:

We initially thought this up because we were joking about a Subaru-Reinhardt-Julius highschool fanfiction, cause honestly the way they're written in-story would fit that so well, and ended up making this whole thing...

I think the witches should all be staff/teachers of some sort, except for typhon maybe?

We set wilhelm as the principal just by vibes, but we have some ideas that would clash with the concept. maybe the dragon is the principal and nobody's seen him XD

Reinhardt's story in more detail: he's a straight A student (the kind with over 100% in all of his classes) who joined all of the sports but skipped it a lot because he was just so good at it and also he prioritized chess club. Julius is in a similar position. Subaru then invited him to the anime club (being the idiot he [she?] is) and Reinhardt accepted because "friend!!!!" he found his love for shoujo anime and now tries drawing his own. he's okay at drawing girls but awful at drawing guys. He picked up crossdressing from Ferris and Subaru and had a full identity crisis when he realized Ferris was transfem and Subaru is an egg (or closeted transfem or bigender or something). he realized he's just a cis man who likes crossdressing but he had to put his shoujo down for a little while... now he forces Felt to cosplay as a magical girl with him. She secretly has fun! Every time Heinkel shows up outside his classroom window he just... slides his sparkly pink sketchbook back into his backpack

Subaru sews the cosplay fits!

We said sirius is sweeter in this AU because i don't think anything would trigger her more extreme views in this story, and mey can't tell me if that's right or wrong cause they haven't met her yet XD i might be but i think a sweeter role fits her!

Rem and Ferris are in the same vtubing group. they refuse to talk about it

Emilia picked up her outdated language from old shows and anime! She joined the anime club because she was excited to talk about the old old anime she loves, and when subaru talks about waifus she just thinks "ah, like that lum girl!"

Julius has either really really good taste in anime or really really bad taste.

Subaru's just picking up friends cause he's too chaotic to follow the atmosphere, and the people he tried to become friends with just so happen to need someone like him!

Subaru WILL try to woo emilia with anime pick up lines

When Rem develops a sleeping disorder that makes her fall asleep while standing up sometimes, she becomes wheelchair buddies with Ram! Ram is determined to push herself (though she'll let Emilia do it sometimes) and Subaru helps Rem out!

Rom is a very sweet teacher. everyone is scared of him at first but they all call him grandpa at the end (teasing, but lovingly). Felt is actually his adopted granddaughter, and when she got to highschool it got a little awkward but made some very funny moments!

Ram is a very good student in some places but very bad in others. They don't know what to do with her. Sometimes she gets an A and it's clear she didn't cheat but sometimes she fails. sometimes in class she knows everything and WILL show off and sometimes she's straight up asleep. Nobody can figure out the pattern.

Otto will sometimes skip class and teachers either don't notice or just say "oh he's probably doing janitor stuff we shouldn't bother him."

can patrasche be the very aggressive therapy dog

i think i should stop here before i write a whole book

we haven't even got a fanfiction planned or anything we just talked about this for a few hours

if anyone does want to write a fanfiction that would be hilarious and send it to us please

[artsyfyro]

Soooooo not that long ago, I finished Octopath Traveler 2. I hadn't played the first mostly out of disinterest and hearing that the party doesn't really interact much, but my interest piqued with the second after hearing about it and watching a friend play it in call. Now that I've played it myself, uhhhhhh yeah is probably in my top 3 for this year.

I love each member of the cast (it's hard to choose my favorite but at the time of writing it's either osvald or partitio), I love each of traveler's stories and how they weave not just into some greater plot resolved at the end of the game, but how they contribute to painting the world and cities you visit with their differing perspectives. Oh and I absolutely love the combat in this game, the shield and break mechanics add not only a nice bit of nuance to fights, but also to your party selection and tactics, and I like how things like boosting, secondary jobs, and latent powers (new to this game) open up the party's versatility by quite a bit. Anyone can be anything, but some characters do it better than others.

I'd go further on my thoughts, but this is more or less preamble for a fun little art project to do with my characters. There are 8 jobs (4 more if you count the secret jobs) with 6 elements and 6 weapon types split between all of them, and each character has a starting one, and a second one they can later equip. Basically, I just wanted to draw my rats and 1 cats in outfits that matched the job i'd imagine they'd fit the most. And wouldn't you know it, they came out pretty well actually.

As you can see, Volt became a Apothecary and Scholar, Kilua a Thief and Hunter, and Skye a Warrior and Dancer.

Kilua's is probably the easiest to explain. Her characterization already paints her as a thief, her main weapon is a dagger, she has access to some form of darkness manipulation with the shadow manipulation and the dark typing, it's kind of a given. She could've done fine with just Thief, but her outfit is based off of Ochette's thief attire, who's normally a hunter. And with a hunter's use of electricity, focus on the critical stat, and particular brand of debuffs like abating orb and leghold trap fit pretty well with Kilua's multifaceted skillset.

Skye is also kind of easy to explain. With moves like eneverating slash and vengeful blade, I get the impression Warrior in this game fights closer to a iaido sword style, and that's exactly what Skye does. As for the dancer addition, it's less because of the outfit choice, as Skye's take on the attire is based off of Temenos's take on it whereas he's normally a cleric. No instead, it's because Dancer has wind magic, and provides buffs that increase damage and turn order speed, which I think just makes sense based on how I imagine Skye uses wind magic, which is less offensive, and more supplemental.

Lastly is Volt, and honestly it probably seems like it would've made more sense to make Volt a scholar, right? I mean Volt's main shtick is having really powerful electricity, Scholar is all about offensive magic and boosting it to immense amounts, it just works. And that's not wrong, but I chose apothecary because I think not only does the outfit translate to Volt's quite well, but apothecary as a kit (in OT2 at least) is a bit closer to what I imagine Volt's approach to a fight is otherwise. Apothecary I think is a very versatile class that excels in support (with healing and poisoning) and surprisingly strong DPS with things like drastic measures, all made better by the class's high hp to help tank hits and keep everyone up. A versatile class that I think helps work with Volt's more adaptive approach to a fight, albeit in a way that I don't normally think of for them. Volt's normal weapon is them using Iron Tail, but since that can't really fit the theme, sword or axe can make for fine enough replacements. Plus, I do kind of think Castti's want to lend a helping hand to all she can does translate to Volt's personality in some way, even if means they both get thrown into life threatening stakes.

And that's basically all I feel like showing right now. Full transparency, I was wanting to make individual posts with larger doodle pages for each character, and tbf, I might post more doodles related to this concept if I feel like it later, but I didn't really feel like putting that much into it all considering how long it takes me to finish things. Besides, I like how this is now.

Also funny little thing to leave you off with. When a character equips a secondary job in Octopath (either the first or second game), their costume changes to match that of the new class, with no way to change it otherwise unless you swap to another job. While I don't really care about applying that logic to my characters, if I did, then Volt's original class would've been scholar, kilua's would've been hunter, and Skye's would've been dancer. It'd be funny to sketch up what each of them might look like in those classes attires, but maybe another time.

Thank you for reading, and you have a good rest of your day!

[arenabreadandbiscuits]

Hello fellow internetians,

So to start this off, I write and draw but I'm working may way up to accepting art requests so I'm starting with writing first since I've done so before.

The names I go by are Ash/Arena so please address me by either of you need to. About a year ago now, give or take a couple of months, I got sick and ever since I've been having to rely on my mother's income. I want to help her out and so I'm taking commissions in any of the fandoms I list on the first page. Rules will be included below and I have a goal in mind that I wish to reach.

Currently said goal is 500 a month but I want to keep a hold on this goal for periods of time so every time it hits I'll reset.

I'm still getting accounts to other platforms set up so if needed I can be reached across various different platforms so I can keep up with everyone and so you all can keep up with me.

-

Hello Everyone,

As I listed in the description this book is for commissions and for the most part I'll be collecting requests from this book while also posting the requests in this book so you all don't have to search far to find your story after I'm done writing them.

My name is Arena, though Ash and Ashes are other names that I don't mind you all calling me by either. I am 20 years old and so most of my work will be for adults considering I am one. If you aren't an adult though you can still request but you'll have to go to the 'Underage Requests' Page and do it there which I'll be making before Post an 'Adult Requests' Page. Please do not lie to me about your ages because if you do I'll be upset.

Now for my story:

About a year ago, give or take some months, I got sick with Guillain-Barre and so I haven't been able to work thanks to being currently disabled. I have written commissions before on here and ao3 (archiveofourown) on different accounts so I'm doing that again. When I have all my accounts fully set up I'll mention them on this account by name under my account so you all can branch out and find me if needed. As stated I haven't been able to work or attend college like I was before so this is my way of making some much needed cash for myself and my family.

If you don't have the money that's fine, I'm not talking to you, but I do appreciate you reading my book and sharing it to bring more people to it in the future.

From this point on I expect to have people contacting me so I'll go ahead and list my fandoms and prices.

I do write for OCS as well though so if you are looking for that just go ahead and skip to the next chapter which will be talking about my few rules for OCS. I also roleplay so I'm happy to accept and adopt other roleplayers that are literate like I am. If you are not looking for a partner but instead want to commission me to write out a certain scene from your own roleplays that's of course welcomed and accepted.

Fandoms:

- Castlevania

- My Hero Academia

- Diabolical Lovers

- Avatar/Legend of Korra

- Avatar (with the big blue ppl)

- Hellsing

- Black Butler

- Obey Me

- Stardew Valley

- Naruto Shippuden

- Across the Spiderverse

- The Arcana

- Records of Ragnarok

- Mortal Kombat

- Resident Evil Series

- Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss

- Detroit Becomes Human

((Keep in mind that the fandom list can and most likely will grow so if you are interested but your fandom isn't listed it is okay to ask me if I'll still write them. I'm in a lot of fandoms I just couldn't think of all the names at the moment))

Prices:

- 500 words for $5

- 1000 words for $15

- 2000 words for $25

- 3000 words for $35

- 4000 words for $45

- 5k words for $55

- 6k words for $65

- 7k words for $75

- 8k words for $85

- 9k words for $95

- 10k words for $105

Considering situations, sometimes stories will be longer than what was paid and it's okay, I won't go over to the point where the story leads into a different price range but a few extra words will go over the limit sometimes. If that happens, don't worry about it. It's free of charge after that so you don't have to pay extra.

I also want to mention that I also write for 'Monster Fuccers' so if you have a thing for DnD or some monster OC you want to hunch on I accept requests for those as well so don't by shy.

If you have questions on what I will or will not write even after reading all the pages that will be posted after this chapter then just comment here or dm more for answers. ÙwÚ

That's all for now I believe so for now I'll be checking out. Please excuse any typing errors if there are any, I'll be correcting them in my own time. (no, of course I'll make sure to double check and correct any errors that my be in your requests before sending it to you ) As I've said, if you have questions my dms and comments are always open so don't be afraid to ask me anything.

My payment methods are PayPal and Cashapp though PayPal can be a bit frustrating for me so depending on things I might close that option and only make Cash app my way of payment.

Thank you all for reading into this and I hope we can get along and can happy things rolling soon. Everyone who deserves it, have a blessed day! ✨✨✨

- A

EDIT: 07/02/2024

Here's my MASTERLIST for anyone who wants direct links to fics, art, headcanons and everything else I'm posted on this account so far. I tried putting in my bio but I literally don't know how to do it ^^'

[queenofzan]

Once again, I have gotten several thousand words deep into a story and had a line where one of the two speculated about what would have happened if they met earlier, and then...become obsessed with writing that idea down too. WHOOPS. I just think...what if trans characters realized they were trans sooner. And how would that change things. Especially on Kavagor.

So here's Maria drawing too much attention to herself and accidentally getting fucked into a gender realization.

My main Yuri/Maria file is 25k; this is only 11k of the 16k i have written of the AU where they meet in their 20s instead of their 50s/60s

(warnings for uhh let's go with eroticized violence, under-negotiated kink, dubious consent, and misgendering. and homophobia i guess.)

---

Kasharik was late getting to the bar. When he arrived, he had his arm around the shoulder of a stringy young man who looked very uncomfortable. The stringy young man also had bruised knuckles and a split lip, although the rest of his face looked fine. He was not nearly as good-looking as the men Kasharik typically had on his arm or at his side, which meant there was some other reason Kasharik brought him.

"Sir," Yuri said when Kasharik got to their table. "Who's this?"

"Ivanov here," Kasharik said, pushing Ivanov into the booth ahead of him where he'd be trapped up against the wall, "just won the mixed-weight UAC tournament very handily."

That did make the plain, stringy man more interesting. "Did he," Yuri said, giving him another, more careful look. He had dark hair, deeply-set eyes, and a dimpled chin. Yuri supposed his stringiness might translate to lean muscle. He was probably faster than Yuri.

"Yeah," Ivanov said, proud even through his sullen discomfort.

"Get us some drinks, would you?" Kasharik said to Yuri, pulling out his wallet and passing Yuri a large bill.

"What'll you have?" Yuri asked Ivanov.

Ivanov frowned. "Beer," he said.

Kasharik rolled his eyes. "Not specific enough, darling."

Ivanov looked at Yuri's glass, which had sweated a ring onto the table in the time it took Kasharik to show up. He looked back up at Yuri, then said, "Whatever you're having."

Well, it was no surprise Ivanov could tell Yuri wasn't a commissioned officer even out of uniform. Yuri grunted acknowledgement, and got up to go to the bar.

As he returned to the table carrying drinks, Ivanov was protesting to Kasharik, "I'm not gay, though."

"Neither's Arevin, last time I checked," Kasharik said mildly. Yuri set his glass down in front of him, and Kasharik gave him the barest nod of acknowledgement.

Yuri wasn't gay, but he wasn't sure it was fair to say he was straight, either. Bisexual, maybe, like Kasharik's ex always said. At least, he was happy enough to fuck men, since it meant at least he was fucking someone. He wasn't sure if he would have sought it out, but mostly because he wasn't great at normal social interactions; figuring out if a guy was interested was a complicated endeavor in most environments. How he felt about it seemed like a distant second in importance.

"Oh, come on," Ivanov scoffed. "You know I don't mean fucking 'homosexual', I mean queer. I'm not interested in men at all."

"Really," Kasharik said, uninterestedly. He was being a dick. Despite finding it obnoxious, Yuri often enjoyed when Kasharik was dickish, because it meant he was going to have a fun night.

"Here," Yuri said, sliding Ivanov's beer across the table as he sat down. "You being offensive to Lord Kasharik now?"

"No," Ivanov said, although he glanced at Kasharik nervously. "I don't mean there's something wrong with it or nothing," he said. "Folks should be as gay or queer or whatever as they want. I'm just not."

"Shame," Yuri said, taking a sip of his beer. Kasharik smiled. He was handsome, and he had a nice smile. He liked it when Yuri picked up on what Kasharik wanted him to do without him having to spell it out. That was difficult with most people, but not Kasharik.

"Why's that?" Ivanov asked, wary and suspicious.

"Most folks can't handle me in a fight," Yuri said. "And I've kind of wanted to go right from a fight to a fuck since milord first brought it up."

Ivanov stared at him for a moment, then scoffed again. "I could take you," he said. He turned a little pink as he sipped his beer, though.

"That is why you caught my eye," Kasharik said. He shrugged and picked up his glass. "But if you're not interested in men, I suppose it might be awkward, with the sergeant so…responsive to violence."

Yuri wished he wouldn't say it that way. That sounded like he couldn't keep a handle of himself. No one had ever realized before Kasharik how horny fighting made him, which Yuri thought made it pretty clear he wasn't at the mercy of his baser instincts.

"Hell, I wouldn't hold it against him," Ivanov said. He was still a little flushed. Interesting that he hadn't been embarrassed denying he was interested in men, which lots of closet cases were, but now that the link between sex and violence had been brought up, he was affected. Promising, perhaps? He went on, "Plenty of guys get worked up rolling around on the ground. Not my business if he jerks off after I beat his ass."

Kasharik laughed. "You don't know when to stop, do you, Ivanov?" he asked.

Ivanov shrugged. "I beat the best of the best today," he said. "I feel pretty good about my chances."

"Do you?" Kasharik asked. If Ivanov knew Kasharik the way Yuri knew Kasharik, he would have been on alert for bullshit, but he didn't. "Good enough to make a little wager?"

"Hell yeah," Ivanov said. "I could use some extra cash."

"Hmm," Kasharik said. "I wasn't thinking about money."

"Well I was," Ivanov retorted. "I got bills to pay. My lord," he added as an afterthought.

Yuri felt himself smile into his glass. Ivanov did have guts, at least.

Kasharik laughed again. "I'm sure you do," he said. "Fine, we can have it both ways, can't we? If you can beat Arevin in a fight--let's say tourney rules--I'll give you five hundred marks. And if Arevin wins, he gets to fuck you."

Ivanov glanced at Yuri again. He looked alarmed, but possibly also intrigued, now. Yuri had to admit he would enjoy fucking him. Ivanov studied Yuri for a moment, then turned back to Kasharik and said, "Well, why not? I could use the money."

"You're not at all worried about what will happen if you lose?" Kasharik asked. "I wouldn't want you to feel taken advantage of or ill-used." He was so full of shit; he didn't care one whit if Ivanov felt used or taken advantage of. He just didn't want to deal with complaints or backing out later.

Ivanov shrugged. "Long as you know I ain't gonna enjoy it and that don't bother either of you, I'll risk it," he said. "Not like it costs me nothing."

"Really?" Kasharik asked, surprising Yuri a bit. He didn't usually go this far to make sure people were comfortable. "Most straight men are a little more concerned about the possibility of getting fucked in the ass."

Ivanov paused with his glass halfway to his lips. "Ah," he said.

"What did you think I meant?" Kasharik asked, smirking.

"Uh," Ivanov said, turning pink again. "Usually when people assume I'm gay, it's--kind of implied I'd be the one on top." He looked back at Yuri. "But I guess you're not exactly the pretty little sissy type."

Kasharik laughed again, quite loud this time. "No," he said. "Not exactly."

Yuri had taken it up the ass before, actually, but he wasn't really thinking about ending a fight riding someone else's dick. And he'd never told Kasharik about that. Not that he'd asked, either; Kasharik was more interested in using Yuri for other purposes.

Yuri didn't say anything. Kasharik would talk Ivanov into it or he wouldn't. It wasn't Yuri's role to be persuasive, just obedient. 

Ivanov looked from Yuri to Kasharik and back again. Kasharik took a sip of his drink. Eventually, Ivanov said, "Don't see that that changes anything, really. 'Specially since I'm gonna win."

"Confident, aren't we?" Kasharik murmured.

"He can't be better than everyone else in the fucking service," Ivanov said with a shrug. Logical, if not accurate. He grinned at Kasharik. "But I'll appreciate that five hundred, my lord."

Yuri did not expect he would lose, but to be frank, he wouldn't mind it. Kasharik wouldn't be pleased, but he wouldn't be too shitty about it. He might knock Yuri around some after, but considering he found it amusing that Yuri got off on shit like that, it would be fine. Yuri was just looking forward to a real fight, which he hadn't really had since he got transferred out of Petrov's command. Maybe if he got sent off-world, like there were rumors about.

Kasharik took them back to his apartment, then had Yuri and Ivanov push all the furniture in the living room aside to clear space. Ivanov had kept pace with Yuri, and nursed just two drinks through Kasharik's four. He didn't seem drunk, and he didn't seem worried. He wasn't good-looking, necessarily, but he moved with enough surety that he was attractive.

"Oh, and roll up the rug as well," Kasharik said. "I'll go grab lube."

"You better grab five hundred dollars, too," Ivanov called after him, even as he helped Yuri roll up the rug. As they worked, Ivanov asked Yuri, "You always get your kicks doing your knob boyfriend's bidding?"

"He's not my boyfriend," Yuri said.

"What, you fuck people for a guy who's not your boyfriend?" Ivanov asked. "You know that's weirder, right?"

Yuri shrugged. It was weird, but not as weird as the idea of being a nobleman's boyfriend.

Kasharik came back, a bottle of lube in hand, and sat down on one of the armchairs pushed back against the wall. "Whenever you're ready," he said, waving a hand.

Ivanov stretched each arm behind his head in turn, cracking his shoulders. Yuri stripped off his shirt, leaving him in just his undershirt. He did a similar quick stretch to Ivanov, then shook out his arms. "Ready," he said.

Ivanov was good. He dodged Yuri's blows like it was trivial, and managed to trip him once. He got a painful hit on Yuri's jaw. Yuri had to back off and strategize for a second, which was difficult when Ivanov pressed his advantage. But as much as Yuri believed Ivanov wanted that five hundred dollars, Yuri really wanted to rip Ivanov's clothes off and have his way with him. Blood, Yuri wanted to smash his face into the floor and fuck him until he cried. He wanted that so, so much.

Ivanov was fast, and he was good, but he was also coming off a tournament and smaller than Yuri. Once Yuri got him on the ground, it was over, it would just take a while to wear him down.

Or more than a little while. "Fuck's sake, man," Ivanov grunted after a few minutes, attempting to keep Yuri's hold from taking. Yuri was having a little trouble keeping himself from rubbing his dick against Ivanov. "You ain't won yet."

From the side of the room, Kasharik said, "I thought plenty of guys got worked up rolling around on the ground."

Ivanov only grunted instead of trying to respond. He needed all his attention on Yuri.

He was good at escaping holds, but he could never keep Yuri off him for long, even with Yuri distracted by how turned on he was. The more he flopped around, struggling, the more obvious it became that he was aroused as well. Yuri reached down with one hand to cup his dick, and Ivanov groaned.

"That ain't tourney-legal," Ivanov protested.

"You can keep struggling," Yuri told him.

Ivanov groaned again. He did keep struggling, but not quite as hard as he had been, especially when Yuri rubbed his dick. After several more minutes, he gasped, "Fine, fuck, mercy, you win! I concede!"

"Obviously," Kasharik murmured.

Yuri unbuttoned Ivanov's trousers blindly, then yanked them down. "Keep struggling," he breathed against Ivanov's ear.

Ivanov shivered. "You're a fucking freak, you know that? Blood." But he did keep struggling, even when Yuri took his dick in hand and stroked it. He even bit Yuri's hand when it got too close to his mouth. Yuri wasn't sure he had ever been this hard in his life.

Kasharik rolled over the bottle of lube. Yuri snatched it up and immediately dumped some down Ivanov's ass crack.

"Ow, fuck," Ivanov said, squirming.

"If you think his fingers are too much, you are not going to enjoy his cock," Kasharik said, sounding smug.

"I fucking said I wouldn't," Ivanov said, like he wasn't just as hard as Yuri. He immediately belied himself by moaning and arching his back when Yuri thrust his fingers back into him.

"Maybe you weren't into guys because you always figured you'd be the top," Yuri said. "You seem to like being my bitch just fine."

Ivanov made a startled sound that was practically a sob, as his cock jumped in Yuri's hand.

"Ohh," Kasharik said. He sounded as if he was smiling. "Maybe that's what it is! Maybe people keep clocking you as queer because they can tell you'd be better off as a woman."

Ivanov gasped. "That's not--that ain't true."

"No?" Kasharik asked. "You sure seem just as happy pinned beneath Arevin as you did winning the tournament."

"No way," Ivanov said, then moaned again as Yuri's fingers pushed deeper. "Bones, please--fuck!"

"Might be nice to have a woman of my own," Yuri murmured into Ivanov's ear. Ivanov shuddered again, clenching around Yuri's fingers. "You like that idea?"

"I don't know," Ivanov moaned.

"I'm not sure how pretty you'd be, as a girl," Kasharik mused. "But then, that's not really what matters to Arevin, is it, sergeant?"

"Any girl's pretty when she's taking your cock," Yuri said, and Ivanov shuddered again. He pulled his fingers out of Ivanov's ass and reached for the bottle of lube again. He had to sit up some to slick up his dick. He kept one hand on Ivanov's back, only nominally holding him down, but Ivanov didn't try to get up. He just laid there, breathing hard, his erection dangling between his legs.

"Tap-dancing zombie Emperor Sergei!" Ivanov yelped when Yuri started pushing his dick into him. He tried half-heartedly to crawl away. Yuri yanked him back by the hips, driving his cock even deeper. This time, Ivanov's yelp was wordless. A moment later, he moaned, "Blood and bone, are you packing a fucking wine bottle down there?"

Kasharik laughed. "Not quite," he said. "Though he is rather well-endowed."

"If I'd known I was gonna be taking a horse cock if I lost, I never would have agreed," Ivanov said. Yuri reached around to play with his dick, and found it had not flagged at all. That was interesting, considering Yuri had certainly not prepared him adequately. Was he a masochist, or did he really like the idea of being a woman so much?

"You don't seem to mind," Yuri murmured, giving him a slow stroke.

"Fuck you," Ivanov gasped.

The noises Ivanov made as Yuri fucked him were about half pained and half aroused. He swore after almost every time he moaned at something. He was rather cute, actually, which was not something Yuri usually thought about the men Kasharik had him fuck. Kasharik liked simpering kiss-asses and humiliated stoic straight men. They were fun, but not cute. Ivanov's vulgar expressions of alternating frustration and pleasure was.

Yuri pushed his face down into the floor and snapped his hips forward. Ivanov whimpered. Yuri snapped his hips again, and Ivanov gasped, "Oh, fuck!"

"You do like this, don't you," Yuri said. "I could make you my woman. I'd let you have my cock whenever you wanted it." He bit his lip, to have something to ground him. "Get you some dresses so I can just flip your skirt up and stick it in."

Ivanov whined and clawed at the floor. He was not making a real attempt to get away.

"I've never had a girl of my own before," Yuri said. "I'd treat you nice."

Ivanov laughed. "You think this is nice?"

"Your dick seems to think so," Kasharik said. "But I'm sure Arevin would be willing to treat you rough, if that's more your speed."

"Only in bed," Yuri said, and Ivanov shivered. "Mmhmm, that's right. Can treat you like a lady most of the time, even though we both know you're really a slut." He punctuated that with a smack to Ivanov's ass.

"Fuck," Ivanov moaned. "Fuuuck."

Yuri finally heard the clink of Kasharik's belt buckle. He was surprised it had taken so long, but perhaps he was trying to savor the experience. Surely even he would have trouble finding another fighter at Yuri's skill level who would agree to go right from a match to sex. Even though he wasn't usually a fan of a fair fight, he did like watching Yuri work someone over, and that lasted longer when they could fight back.

Yuri bent over, pressing himself against Ivanov's back. He wrapped one hand around the front of Ivanov's neck, fingers slipping between his collar and his skin, and kept it there. He could feel Ivanov's thundering pulse under his thumb, even through the harsh panting of his breath. Into Ivanov's ear, he murmured, "Not often milord's got a personal sex show with a woman involved."

Ivanov shivered again. "Please," he said. "Please."

"Please what?" Yuri asked, grinding his hips into Ivanov's ass.

"I don't know," Ivanov moaned.

"I think you do," Kasharik said.

Ivanov moaned again. "Say it again," he said.

Yuri grunted. "Slut," he said on his next thrust. "Slutty little girl," he said as he pulled back. Ivanov moaned. "Made for taking cock," Yuri went on. He thrusted back in, making Ivanov gasp. "For real men to use." Ivanov whined, practically keening. "You put up a good fight," Yuri said into his ear, "but you wanted this."

"No," Ivanov said. "No, I didn't know, I didn't think--I didn't know!" He practically sobbed, "Blood!"

It didn't take much more to finish them both off. Yuri growled into Ivanov's ear when he was close to coming, "Take it like a good girl," which made Ivanov spasm, which in turn pushed Yuri over the edge.

Ivanov didn't say anything more coherent or complicated than, "Oh oh oh oh!" Yuri barely had to tug on his dick before he was coming all over Yuri's hand and the floor.

Yuri pulled out and collapsed onto the floor next to Ivanov, breathing heavily. He glanced at Kasharik, to make sure he didn't expect anything else from Yuri, but Kasharik didn't even have his eyes open, jerking himself furiously, bottom lip caught between his teeth.

Ivanov rolled onto his back, away from Yuri. The tip of his dick still glistened with liquid, like some of his come had gotten held up somewhere and missed the main event. His shirt was soaked with sweat under his arms and down his chest, making it stick to him, following the contours of his body. He looked perfectly masculine, in a rather appealing way if Yuri was honest, but it wasn't hard to imagine him with small breasts laid over his pectorals. That was appealing, too.

Kasharik made the little grunt he usually made when he was coming, which meant he'd continue talking in a moment. Yuri pulled his trousers up and started tucking everything back into place.

"Well," Ivanov said, staring at the ceiling. "I mean, I coulda used the five hundred bucks, but I guess startling personal revelations are good too."

"Did you really not know?" Kasharik asked, pulling out his handkerchief to wipe clean his dick and hands. "I was honestly shocked you seemed so sincere about not being interested in men. It looked like a classic case of over-compensation to me."

"Oh, thanks," Ivanov muttered.

"Admittedly," Kasharik went on, folding over his handkerchief, "I don't often run into transsexuals who don't know."

"Great," Ivanov said. "Not only am I a freak, I'm a stupid freak."

"It's not stupidity so much as ignorance," Kasharik said. "I suppose plenty of people on our backwards little planet are unaware there are options that might suit them better."

"I'm pretty sure 'girl' is an option I've been aware of," Ivanov said. He scrubbed his hands over his face. "Fuck."

"Happy to help," Kasharik said, sounding amused. As he stood up, stretching his arms over his head, he said, "Arevin, will you see our guest safely home? And put my living room back in some kind of order."

"Yes, sir," Yuri said, and Kasharik went into his bedroom and shut the door behind him.

Ivanov was less helpful restoring the living room to its prior function than he had been clearing it for a fight. He was slow getting dressed, and moved carefully. Well, Yuri hadn't gone easy on him, and it didn't seem like he had experience bottoming. Plus, he had gone through a tournament's final rounds before Yuri even met him that evening. Rolling out Kasharik's rug and pulling furniture back into its approximate former location alone wasn't so strenuous that Yuri missed the help.

"Bathroom's the first door on the right, if you want to clean up before we leave," Yuri told Ivanov, as he buttoned up his shirt.

"Yeah, I guess that's a good idea," Ivanov said. "Don't really want to worry about whether I'm feeling jizz or blood in my drawers."

Yuri frowned. "There shouldn't be active bleeding," he said.

"No shit," Ivanov said, rolling his eyes, "but I can damn well feel there's gonna be some blood, and it'll be easier to tell if it's fresh or not if I clean up." As he stood up, he blushed a little, and added, "Don't take it as a complaint."

Yuri hadn't been in much doubt as to whether or not Ivanov enjoyed himself, but it was nice to hear he wasn't reconsidering it now. "Noted," he said.

While Ivanov was in the bathroom, Yuri took Kasharik's discarded handkerchief to the kitchen sink to rinse it out. He hadn't explicitly asked for that, but Yuri figured it fell under the remit of putting the living room back in order. Kasharik didn't always seem to remember he didn't have servants, living in his city apartment instead of Kasharik House. There was a cleaning service, but Yuri felt like it might be weird to have them clean up after sex stuff like this. Sometimes when Kasharik had a boyfriend, he explicitly had them do it, but without one, it fell to Yuri.

Ivanov came back from the bathroom as Yuri was wringing the excess water out of Kasharik's handkerchief. Yuri draped it over the edge of the sink to dry, then turned out all the lights before they left.

Ivanov told Yuri which dormitory he was in, but was otherwise quiet on the walk to the tram. It wasn't until they got on the tram, empty except for them, and sat down near the door that Ivanov asked Yuri, "So was all that just dirty talk, or did you mean any of it?"

"Which part?" Yuri asked.

"Shit, I don't know," Ivanov said. After a moment, he said, "I sure hope you didn't mean the part where you said all I was good for was taking cock."

"I don't think that's true of anyone," Yuri said. His mama and the other women who raised him would have smacked him if he believed otherwise. "Even whores got hobbies."

Ivanov laughed. "Yeah, good," he said. He glanced at Yuri sidelong. "How about some of the other things, though? Like, would you…really still like a woman with a dick?"

Yuri shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

"And you'd just…believe her, even if she didn't have the surgeries and everything yet?"

Even Yuri could tell Ivanov was fishing. Again, he found it more cute than annoying. "That's how galactics do it," Yuri said. "And I mean, I don't know how she feels. If someone says they're a woman, I don't see why I shouldn't believe her."

Ivanov did not have any immediate response to that. Yuri wasn't terribly surprised; he probably needed time to reconsider things. They actually made it to their stop and off the tram before Ivanov asked, "You've never had a girlfriend?"

Yuri snorted. "Most of the times I've gotten laid were because Kasharik thought it would be funny," he said. That was a simplification, but he was sure that was how it started. "No one's ever wanted to date me, female or otherwise." 

"Guess that explains it," Ivanov said.

"Explains what?" Yuri asked.

Ivanov looked over at him and said, "That whole time wrecking my ass and rearranging my world, and you never kissed me once."

Yuri blinked. No one had ever suggested he kiss them, or made any move to kiss him. He said, "I've never done that before."

"Well I've never fucked someone without kissing them before," Ivanov said, stepping in front of Yuri, cutting him off and making him stop. "And of the two of us, I think I've had enough novel experiences for one night. Fucking kiss me."

Bemused, Yuri set his hands on Ivanov's shoulders, leaned in, and kissed him. Ivanov made a noise against Yuri's lips, then brought his hands up to Yuri's waist. When Yuri pulled away, Ivanov opened his eyes and looked at him for a moment. He had short but thick eyelashes. After a moment, Ivanov said, "Fuck." He turned around, and brought his fists down on his thighs as he shouted, "Fuck!"

"Sorry," Yuri muttered. He wasn't that bad at kissing, was he? What was there to screw up?

Ivanov turned back to him. "It's not you," he said. "You're actually--blood, kind of sexy, really." Literally no one had ever said that about Yuri before. Ivanov did look embarrassed to have said it. He went on, "That's the fucking problem, though, isn't it? I thought my whole life--blood and bone. I mean, how did I miss this?"

Oh, he was still upset about the whole…gender and sexuality thing. Of course, that made sense. Yuri said, "I did kind of think people always knew, since they were kids."

"Right," Ivanov said, nodding fervently. "Right, so did I, and I was never, like, longing to wear dresses or anything. I guess I wasn't mad about it when the neighbor girls made me play dress-up with them? Would a real boy have been upset about that? I don't know." He shook his head.

Yuri couldn't remember feeling one way or the other about dresses as a child. But then, he hadn't had a very ordinary childhood. "You seem very sure about it, considering," Yuri said.

Ivanov shrugged. "I don't think I've ever wanted anything as much as I wanted it when you said I could be your woman," he said, only looking a little embarrassed. "This whole fucking--alternate life fucking appeared in my head, fully-formed, like if I could have dinner waiting on the table when you got home, you'd nail me afterwards, and then we could shower together and watch a vid on the couch, and fucking--like, I never thought about that with any of my girlfriends, ever, but you put your twice-damned fingers in my asshole and I was ready to marry you. I mean, what the hell is that?"

Yuri shrugged. "Endorphin rush from the fighting?" he suggested.

Ivanov snorted. "You think I never lost a fight before? Sure, alright, I wasn't that surprised to get kind of horny about it, but the fucking home-maker fantasy sure as hell ain't something I experienced before." He put one of his hands in Yuri's. "Kiss me again?"

Yuri saw no reason not to, so he kissed him again. This kiss went on longer, until Ivanov's arms were wrapped around Yuri's shoulders and Yuri was clutching him around the waist. He wasn't entirely clear on how that happened, except it was very pleasant. Eventually Ivanov pulled back, resting his forehead against Yuri's. "Fuuuck," he groaned. "I think I musta had it backwards. I think I was into guys like you and wanted to be like the girls I dated. Blood and bone." He shook his head.

"Can we do this again?" Yuri asked, before he could think better of it.

"What, make out in the street?" Ivanov asked. "Hell yeah."

"No," Yuri said. "I mean, yes, that too. But, uh. The rest of it. Drinks and sex and talking."

Ivanov smiled. "Are you asking me out?" he asked.

"Yes," Yuri said, relieved. Right, this was a thing people did, he had a framework to draw upon. "Yes, exactly," he said. "Would you go on a date with me?"

Ivanov laughed. "You've got a terrible grasp of romance," he said, though he was still grinning, and rubbed his nose against Yuri's as he said it. "Yeah, why not. Leave your knob boyfriend out of it, though."

Yuri's stomach twisted unpleasantly. That wasn't entirely up to him. Kasharik was generous, but demanding. "Sure," he said, sounding much more confident than he felt.

"Great," Ivanov said, and leaned in to kiss him again.

*

Later that week, Kasharik said something about his plans for the evening. As he usually did, he said 'we' when he talked about it, including Yuri automatically.

"Uh, sorry, my lord," Yuri said. "I've got plans."

Kasharik turned to him and raised one aristocratic eyebrow. "You've got plans?" he asked, disbelief dripping from every word.

"Yes, sir," Yuri said.

Kasharik stared at him for a moment. "Fine," he said. "You've got plans. I suppose I can keep myself entertained."

Yuri had a bad feeling about how easily that went.

*

Yuri met Ivanov at the other exit from HQ, which most of the enlisted men used. They were going to get dinner, then go back to Yuri's quarters. Yuri had been willing to leave that part implied, but Ivanov told him when they made the date that he had three roommates so it should probably be Yuri's place afterwards. Then Ivanov added that he wasn't sure he'd be physically fit for more penetration just yet, but he'd be happy to explore the other available options.

On the walk to the restaurant--chosen for being unlikely to harbor either Kasharik or any of Ivanov's immediate squadmates--Ivanov said, "You realize I can't just--tell everyone. I wouldn't have a bloody job if I did."

Yuri nodded. The Imperial Service just about tolerated homosexuality, as long as you didn't draw too much attention to it at the wrong time, but women weren't allowed in anything but the Aux Corps. Any of Ivanov's superiors finding out he was transsexual would either mean dishonorable discharge or a retroactive stripping of rank. He'd lose his job and all his benefits, and probably be outed to every government branch there was.

After a few moments of apparent waiting, Ivanov said, "So this is going to make you look gay."

Oh, Yuri thought. He wanted to know what Yuri thought about that, if it would bother him. "It's not exactly secret how much time I spend with Kasharik," he said.

"Right," Ivanov said. "I suppose it ain't new for you, then."

Ivanov had been very concerned the other night about making sure Kasharik understood he wasn't queer. Yuri asked, "Is that a problem for you?"

Ivanov shrugged. "Don't think so," he said. "I mean, ain't no one gonna beat me up over it." He glanced at Yuri sidelong, smirking. "'Cept maybe you," he said. "And I know it ain't like that. I mean, it might be a little annoying, but I'd rather not dance around it, you know? I got no practice being discreet anyway."

"Good," Yuri said, then grabbed his hand.

"You fucking sap," Ivanov muttered, even as he squeezed Yuri's hand with his.

Feeling extremely self-conscious, Yuri made himself say, "I've never…dated. Anyone. It's nice."

"Bones, that's right," Ivanov muttered. He stopped, pulled Yuri to a stop, then yanked Yuri in so he could wrap his arms around Yuri's waist. They were on a public street, and it was broad daylight, not after midnight. Even with Ivanov saying he'd rather not attempt to hide it, Yuri was surprised to find him being so forward. "You be as sappy and romantic as you want, then," Ivanov said quietly, before leaning in to kiss him.

Oh, Yuri liked kissing even when he wasn't buoyed by the afterglow of the most satisfying sex he'd ever had. He really liked it.

Ivanov finally pulled back, but not entirely, just from the kiss. Quietly, he said, "I've only ever done this the other way around. So you gotta forgive me if I don't do it right." He smiled. "I guess we gotta forgive each other if we don't do it right."

"Yes," Yuri said. He leaned in to press another kiss to Ivanov's lips. "I'd like that."

"Shit," Ivanov said, smiling wider, "you got no right being so cute with such an un-cute face."

"You can say ugly," Yuri said, rolling his eyes. "I know what I look like."

"And I know what you look like naked," Ivanov said, which was not strictly true, "which brings up your score a bit." He leaned in to give Yuri another quick kiss. 

Yuri had never considered the idea of a man's body improving his average attractiveness, although obviously he was familiar with the idea from the brothel. Girls no better than plain could command as much as the most beautiful if they had good enough tits and asses. Yuri was pretty fit, even by military standards. Thinking about it, he supposed it made sense. To Ivanov, who still had his arms wrapped around Yuri's waist, he said, "You adapted to finding men attractive fast."

Ivanov shrugged. "Maybe you just did too good a job fucking me to ignore," he said.

"I'm sorry to say it was mostly incidental," Yuri said.

Ivanov grinned. "Guess you'll have to do it more on purpose next time."

*

Ivanov took the lead when they got back to Yuri's place, which was a little weird. Not a terribly feminine trait, but maybe that was on Yuri for thinking someone's whole personality would change with their gender. Yuri was used to taking orders, though, and it was certainly more fun when those directions were conveyed by Ivanov pressing against him, whispering in his ear, or grabbing the part of Yuri he wanted doing something.

Which was how Yuri found himself experiencing well after his first sexual experience his first "make-out session". It wasn't quite as stimulating as beating the hell out of each other, but he supposed it was safer. And he did enjoy kissing Ivanov, getting to touch him as much as he wanted, and feeling Ivanov get hard against him without complaining about it.

After a while, he did feel like he'd go insane if he didn't get to get off, though. Yuri finally said, "Please, can we just…."

Ivanov laughed, and unzipped Yuri's trousers. "That's a lot more polite than last time," he said, pulling Yuri's briefs down and out of the way.

"It seemed like you wanted to go slower," Yuri said. "Which is fine." His breath caught as Ivanov's hand wrapped around his cock.

"But you don't wanna blow your load in your pants, I get it," Ivanov said. He glanced down at Yuri's cock. "That's less weird than I thought it'd be," he said. "Sergei's bones, you put this monster in my asshole? No wonder it still fucking hurts."

"I can go slower next time," Yuri said. Then he realized that was maybe presuming too much. "Uh, if you want."

Ivanov laughed, then leaned in and kissed him. "Yeah," he said when he pulled back, "I think I'll want you to be a little more careful next time." He gave Yuri's cock a slow, light stroke, teasing. "That's something you can get used to, right? So it's easier? Not that I didn't like the fight-to-fuck thing, but it'd be nice if it didn't totally wreck my ass for days."

"Yeah," Yuri said. "You can kind of make yourself relax if you concentrate, but it's easier with practice. Is this how you jerk yourself off?"

"No, but that ain't how I'd want sex to be," Ivanov said, grinning at him. "You fucked me out of a closet I didn't even know was in the bloody house last time," he said, "I'd like to at least drive you a little crazy."

"You are," Yuri said, and Ivanov laughed. He stopped teasing Yuri's cock long enough to spit in his palm, then leaned in to kiss Yuri some more while he jerked him off. Yuri felt light-headed from getting kissed and a hand-job at the same time.

Growing up in a brothel had affected Yuri in a lot of ways, probably, but one of the ones he'd noticed as soon as he started sharing rooms with other guys was that no one else seemed to have lube. Someone in the barracks at his first training camp had suggested merely having lube instead of lotion or oil was a sign someone was gay. Yuri had been baffled by that, and apparently was convincing enough that the homophobe in question had backed off. Yuri didn't think he'd have to explain to a bunch of horny seventeen- and eighteen-year-olds that actual purpose-designed lubricant felt and worked better than whatever lotion or oil they stole from their family medicine chest. He wasn't even bothering then with the fancy off-world shit, just the lube the brothel bought in bulk that was made from seaweed or something; one of the only native Kavagoran agricultural products that wasn't derived from introduced Earth species.

So when Yuri told Ivanov to hang on for a second, and rolled over to get his lube out of the bedside table drawer, he wasn't surprised to hear Ivanov chuckle.

"You're too good for regular lotion, huh?" Ivanov asked. "Or does Kasharik bring folks 'round your place?"

"Real lube is better and cheaper than lotion," Yuri said, just as he'd gotten used to saying in every barracks he'd slept in. "Kasharik's never been past the front door. Get out your dick."

"Yes, sir," Ivanov said, wriggling out of his trousers and underwear entirely. Yuri paused to do the same, shoving his trousers down until he could shake them off his legs. He rolled over and straddled Ivanov, pressing their dicks right up against each other. Yuri had never done this on purpose, as an end to itself, but he figured it felt good enough to give it a shot.

He doused his hand in lube, then wrapped it around as much of both of their cocks as he could manage. Ivanov jerked up against him.

"Oh, yeah, all right," Ivanov breathed, "that does feel better."

"Lasts longer, too," Yuri said, barely resisting the urge to just start rutting up against him. He used his other hand to spread the lube more evenly around the other side, before Ivanov's hand joined his.

"I know you called yourself ugly earlier," Ivanov said, looking up at him, "but you oughta know you sitting on my lap jerking both of us off is one of the hottest things I've ever seen."

Yuri knew he shouldn't disagree, but he couldn't quite bring himself to believe it, either. Ivanov's breathless voice and rock-hard cock made it difficult to discount entirely, however. So Yuri just said, "Good."

"Sticks, I'd like you in me again, though," Ivanov said, even as he rocked up against Yuri. "I did like feeling used like that."

"I bet you did," Yuri said. "Slut." Ivanov shivered. "Pretty little slut." He braced himself against the wall with one hand so he could bend over and kiss Ivanov some more, trapping their hands as well as their dicks between their bodies. "That's my girl," he murmured against Ivanov's lips. "Dirty, slutty little girl."

Ivanov moaned and panted, his hips bucking up helplessly, squashing Yuri's fingers against his abdomen. Yuri stopped kissing him momentarily to extract his hand from between them, then settled more fully on top of Ivanov. The weight of his body worked fine to rub their now-lubricated cocks against each other. When Ivanov withdrew his hand, they wound up more next to each other than on top of each other, but that was fine, they were still pressed together. Yuri rolled his hips, rubbing his cock against Ivanov's and Ivanov's abdomen. Ivanov put his slippery hand on the back of Yuri's neck, holding him there. As if there was anywhere else Yuri would want to be.

"My pretty girl," Yuri said. Ivanov was pretty, especially all flushed and panting like this. His eyelashes were so thick. His cock was so hot between them. "Precious, slutty, dirty girl."

"Blood, yes," Ivanov moaned.

Yuri was too turned on to think of anything else. His cock felt so good, sliding against Ivanov's skin, next to Ivanov's cock. It almost felt more intimate than having his cock inside someone's body. He had Ivanov trapped, his legs pinned in by Yuri's, and his body covered with Yuri's. His cock rubbed against Yuri's groin, popping over as if to kiss Yuri's cock once he was on the back-stroke.

"Please," Ivanov tried to murmur, even as he kissed Yuri's lips. "Please, use me, mark me, make me your woman."

"Uh huh," Yuri said. "Mine. My woman, my slutty, pretty woman."

Ivanov came first time this time, if such a small distinction mattered when it was the feel of his cock pulsing against Yuri's that set him off. Yuri sagged on top of him. Ivanov laughed, and kissed him, grinning. Yuri didn't usually feel like he had the right to lie atop the people he fucked after they finished. He thought Ivanov wouldn't begrudge it.

"Bones, you're heavy," Ivanov grumbled, although he still had both his arms wrapped around Yuri.

After a few moments, Yuri sighed, and rolled off of him, onto his back, so he could finally straighten out his legs.

They lay there in silence a few more moments. Then Ivanov said, "So sex is always that good, huh?"

It had been very nice, but Yuri didn't know that that was the hottest sex he'd ever had. He felt less weird about it in the aftermath, less used, but it hadn't been a profoundly erotic experience or anything. The more noteworthy part for him had been the kissing, which Ivanov had seemed to expect as a matter of course. Yuri asked, "Has it not been before?"

Ivanov laughed. "I guess not," he said. "I kinda thought the reason other guys seemed to be having a better time fucking girls than me was they that were selfish lovers, you know? Like if you made sure a girl had a nice time, it was less fun for you."

"I don't think that's how it's supposed to work," Yuri said. Certainly some johns acted that way, but the girls had negative opinions of that. "I guess I've been with fewer women than you?" he added, because that sure sounded like it was the case.

"Yeah, I don't think that makes a difference," Ivanov said. "In this, anyway. Fucking hell." He rolled over, propped himself up on one elbow, and leaned over to kiss Yuri again. He ran his still-slippery hand down Yuri's chest, then back up, rubbing all of Yuri's chest hair the wrong way and making it stick up. When he pulled back, he asked, "You gonna be up to go again tonight?"

"I can keep going until you're done," Yuri said.

Ivanov smirked. "Yeah?" he asked. "What about a little bit longer than that?"

"In that case," Yuri said, resting his hand on top of Ivanov's on his chest, "I can keep going until you're begging me to stop."

Ivanov shivered. "I don't know if I'm up to try that tonight, but keep it in your back pocket," he said, blushing pink, his voice husky. "Sticks."

Yuri had intended to clean up some before seeing if Ivanov was interested in another round, but he couldn't resist pulling him down into a kiss, and from there, it turned out he didn't have the willpower to hold back with a willing partner.

*

Ivanov was a similar kind of mean-funny to Kasharik, but less targeted. He was self-deprecating as often as he was insulting to others, and Yuri never got the feeling he meant it, the way some people did. The way Kasharik usually did. It was like finally being included in the barracks-room banter, only the filth was directed at Yuri, and not some passing woman.

He could carry a conversation without much help from Yuri, which was good, but he also wasn't insensible to Yuri's opinion. He seemed good at reading Yuri's expressions from the jump, and only got better with time. Even when he misread them, though, he had a way of continuing the conversation as though he'd gotten a response that could carry them through a good while. 

He was extremely touchy-feely, compared to anyone else Yuri spent time with. Some of that was dating, Yuri was sure, but some of it was just the way he was with everyone. He often patted people on the shoulder or nudged them with his elbow. He seemed to flirt with women automatically, which Yuri perhaps should have been more upset about, but mostly found amusing. Ivanov really did come off as feminine in those interactions; Yuri wasn't surprised people assumed he was gay, but he didn't understand how no one before Kasharikhad ever suggested Ivanov might be better suited to womanhood. 

The first time he flirted with a woman while they were on a date, Ivanov was mortified. "Blood, I'm sorry," he said to Yuri as soon as he realized. "I wasn't even--shit."

Yuri asked him, "Would you rather be on a date with her?"

Ivanov blushed. "No, of course not," he said. "To tell the truth, I--don't know that I was ever really into girls."

"Really?" Yuri asked. He supposed Ivanov had said something to that effect, the first time they kissed.

"Yeah, turns out there are other reasons to constantly think about girls and how pretty they are," Ivanov said, circumspect since they were in a public restaurant. He was rosy-cheeked, though. He went on, "And I, uh, got things backward."

Yuri couldn't imagine confusing attraction with envy, but he also didn't entirely understand why or how other guys were so opposed to fucking other guys. Sex was sex, and Yuri hadn't found it to make much of a difference who was sucking his cock or why. He liked women more, or at least more often, but it also wasn't exactly safe to go around evaluating the attractiveness of other men. He didn't exactly have any trouble understanding why Kasharik liked a fellow, or what someone might see in Kasharik.

"Sorry," Ivanov repeated, reaching across the table for Yuri's hand.

"It's fine," Yuri said, but he did put his hand in Ivanov's.

The next time it happened, Ivanov swore at himself. "Bloody reflex. Yuri, I swear I don't mean nothing by it."

"I know," Yuri said. He thought the woman Ivanov had been flirting with knew it too; she'd glanced at Yuri, amused, before flirting back. Yuri figured that meant she'd noticed they were on a date.

Anyway, it was easier for Yuri to be okay with it when Ivanov was so affectionate with him. He hadn't really expected to be holding hands or getting cuddled and kissed in relative public. He felt as if no one else had ever liked him so much.

It would have been understandable for Ivanov not to be so cuddly in public. It wasn't like they didn't get dirty looks. But Ivanov only shrugged when Yuri asked if he was worried about strangers thinking they were gay. 

"What are they gonna do?" he asked. "They ain't gonna beat us up. I bet most of 'em won't even have the guts to catcall us."

And they hadn't. Yuri caught more of the dirty looks than Ivanov did, because Yuri doubted Ivanov would have been able to avoid picking a fight if he saw some of the more disgusted looks. Ivanov was hot-headed; he couldn't keep his mouth shut when people talked shit around him. Yuri thought there was a good chance that was why Ivanov had learned to fight in the first place. But overall, there was less pushback than Yuri thought there'd be. Maybe his looks explained that, or maybe Ivanov didn't look noteworthy on Yuri's arm. Maybe they looked right together. Or maybe they didn't look stereotypical enough for most people to even notice they were on dates.

*

It was their fourth date in less than two weeks (was that a lot? was that normal? Ivanov didn't seem to be doing anything other than working and going home, which was all Yuri was doing) when Ivanov said he was ready for Yuri to fuck him in the ass again.

"Yeah?" Yuri asked. "You sure?"

"Didn't hurt none when I fingered myself last night," Ivanov said, then grinned at Yuri. "Weren't half as good as if you'd been doing it, I'm sure."

Fingering was probably the thing Yuri had the least practice with, since he'd been mostly fucking people for Kasharik. He'd done it, but only so it wouldn't hurt so much when he fucked them. He suspected he'd have far more patience for it with Ivanov wriggling and swearing at him. If only there was some way to leverage the power of Ivanov getting turned on about it to make everything Yuri found boring or tedious easier.

Neither of them had done anything about getting Ivanov women's clothing. Yuri did long to see him in a skirt, if only because it wouldn't need to be removed before they could fuck, but he didn't know the first thing about sizes in women's clothing and he knew without asking that Ivanov would be too self-conscious to go shopping with him, even if they pretended it was for someone else and Ivanov didn't get to try things on.

Still, there was something about kneeling between Ivanov's spread legs, working his fingers in and out, that felt distinctly…heterosexual. Even though Ivanov's cock was sticking straight up and bouncing every time he bucked his hips up.

Yuri reached up with his free hand and groped Ivanov's chest as if he did have tits. Ivanov let out a shaky, "Haah."

"I can hardly wait to get my cock in you again," Yuri said, squeezing Ivanov's flat chest as he thrust his fingers in hard.

"Fuck!" Ivanov's hips jerked up again, setting his cock bouncing and swaying. "Can you--please say it?"

"Say what?" Yuri asked. Ivanov kicked him, so he chuckled. "Oh, you want to hear what a good girl you are? How you're spreading your legs for me? A slutty little girl desperate for cock?"

"Bones, Yuri, please," Ivanov panted.

Yuri paused to consider before he said the next part, but decided fuck it, Ivanov was game to try things out and tell him they didn't work. He asked, "You want my cock in your pussy?"

Ivanov laughed. "I fucking wish," he said. "Bones and all, I fucking wish. But don't act like that's what my ass is."

"No good, then?"

"It's fucking absurd," Ivanov said. "I mean, if I had a cunt, I'd still have an asshole you could fuck. And you probably would, you sadistic bastard."

Yuri smiled, and bent down to kiss Ivanov's stomach. "That'd be fun," he murmured. "I bet you'd beg for me to put it in the right hole."

"I'll beg now if it'll hurry you the fuck up," Ivanov said, but Yuri could hear perfectly well that he was smiling.

"Promise?" Yuri growled, mostly for the way he knew it would make Ivanov shiver.

Ivanov shivered.

It took enough work and concentration to keep Ivanov interested but on the edge that Yuri was in no danger of going off too soon. Still, when he finally hitched Ivanov's thighs over his own so he could line up his cock, he had to pause as soon as he got the head in. Ivanov's loud, full-throated moan didn't help keep him from getting too worked up, either.

After a moment's stillness, Ivanov lifted his head to glare at Yuri. "What's the hold-up?" he demanded.

Yuri huffed a laugh. "Baby girl," he said, and felt the pleased clench of Ivanov's body around his cock, "you're still so tight."

"Oh," Ivanov breathed, eyelids drooping. "You're trying not to blow your load, huh? It's that good?"

"You're that good," Yuri said, feeling silly but meaning it with his entire being.

Ivanov giggled, and Yuri would have married her if he could.

*

It was only a few days later that one of Ivanov's roommates caught them necking outside the building. Yuri froze, not sure what to do, but Ivanov called out, "This ain't a free show, Alexei! Go inside!"

"You're not even worried about your roommates?" Yuri asked after Alexei had moved on.

"They all know I could take 'em," Ivanov said dismissively. "I, uh, was wondering, though," Ivanov went on, not quite making eye contact. "If we might be at the going steady phase of things. In which case I think I'd rather be your sweetie, since I can't really be your girlfriend and I really don't want to be your…." She looked back at Yuri finally. "If that's something you're interested in."

"Yes, sweetheart," Yuri breathed. He kissed her.

"Fuck," Ivanov murmured, smiling against Yuri's lips.

*

Ivanov (she damn well wasn't keeping the name "Yosif" as a woman, but she hadn't picked a new one out yet; she'd still be an Ivanov even as a woman, so it would have to do for now) stepped into the apartment, pretty much walking on air. She had a boyfriend. She had a boyfriend! Blood and bone, she should've realized sooner she wasn't actually into women, she'd never been this bloody happy about a girl going out with her.

She bent down to yank her boots off, then hung her coat up on the open hook. When she stepped around the corner, all three of her roommates were gathered in the living room, piled onto one couch, staring at her.

She sighed. At least she could get it over with all at once, she thought.

"So," Alexei said. "Who's the guy, Yosif?"

"Whatever happened to 'I'm not into men, stop asking'?" Nikita asked.

"Were you really just making out with another man right in the open?" Damir asked.

"You're like a bunch of old aunties," Ivanov said, rolling her eyes. "His name's Yuri, he's my boyfriend, and it turns out no one ever asked the right questions. Ya old biddies."

"Your boyfriend?" Damir demanded.

Alexei, meanwhile, whipped the blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped it around his head, old countrywoman style. In a high-pitched voice, he said, "I hope you're not letting him take any liberties, young man!"

"If I hadn't let him take liberties, I wouldn'ta known I was wrong about liking men," Ivanov said. She collapsed into the free chair, propping her feet up on the coffee table. "Turns out I was tired of always being the big, strong one."

"Ah," Nikita said, nodding, as Damir sputtered. "'Swhy you could make out right in the open. Anyone fucks with the two of you, they're dead."

"Pretty much," Ivanov said.

Alexei, still with the blanket draped over his head, said, "So he's not one of those guys that looks tough but is actually a pushover."

Ivanov laughed again. "The day I won the UAC tourney, he wiped the floor with me," she said. In a manner of speaking, but that was detail her friends did not need. "Though I am also half-expecting poetry at some point."

"So a little softer than your usual type," Alexei said.

"Shut the fuck up," Ivanov said, grinning. She had gone for pretty strong-willed women; delicate flowers of any gender had never really interested her.

"And why haven't you talked about him before?" Nikita asked. "Usually you won't shut up about your new sweethearts."

Damir punched him in the arm. "Why do you think?" he asked.

Ivanov shrugged. "I wouldn't want to have this whole stone-sworn conversation if it was just a few fucks," he said. "Now we're going steady, it seems worth the effort."

Alexei made an offended noise. "An effort?" he asked. "To tell us? Your best friends? That you are, in fact, not not-gay?"

"Hm," Ivanov said. She rubbed her chin, reflecting that she'd need to shave tomorrow. "I guess I coulda mentioned that sooner. Pretty sure about that one." She shrugged. "Turns out I'm only into guys, I'm just picky."

"You are fucking kidding me," Nikita said.

"Yosif!" Damir exclaimed. "Really?"

"Do you remember our first year," Ivanov asked, "when I said you were all making way too big a deal about how good sex was?"

"Emperor's bones," Alexei said, dropping his head. "You're kidding."

"Look on the bright side, you were right," Ivanov said. "I was doing something wrong."

"For Mad Ivan's sake," Damir said.

"So does that mean you're the one getting it up the ass?" Alexei asked. The blanket slid down around his shoulders as he looked up.

"That ain't any of your business," Ivanov said, "but yes."

"It's better than it sounds," Nikita said. Everyone turned to look at him, instead of Ivanov. "What? Sofia used to put her fingers up there when she was sucking me off. You try telling Sofia Dryden something's too gay for her to do to you."

"I'm pretty sure with tits that size, you can safely say it ain't gay even if she fucks you with a strap-on," Ivanov said. An arresting image to be sure, but maybe not for the reasons she would have thought a few weeks ago.

"How'd you meet him?" Damir asked. "Lexei said he didn't recognize him."

Ivanov laughed again. "I bet he woulda, if the light was better," she said. "He's Kasharik's pet sergeant."

"Kasharik's pet--sticks, Yosif, that guy's butt-ugly," Damir said.

Ivanov shrugged. "You ever see him take his shirt off, you'll get it," he said. "He's fucking built."

"Like it would matter what he looks like when he can beat you in the ring," Alexei said.

"And's good in bed," Nikita said, nodding. "Especially since Yosif's apparently been having shit sex all this time."

"It was fine," Ivanov protested, over the others' laughter. "It just wasn't good. For me. Pretty sure I made it good for the girls."

"Oh, well," Alexei said. "As long as one of you was having fun." He shook his head.

"So he's a sergeant?" Damir said. "I guess that's a respectable non-com you could take home to your folks."

"Yeah, but isn't he attached to Kasharik at the hip?" Nikita asked. "That's…." He glanced at Ivanov. Even in their own apartment, it seemed risky to be more explicit.

"Not ideal," Ivanov agreed. Kashariks were well-known to be a pack of maniacs, even more so than other knobs. Even the other knobs thought they were distasteful, so you knew they were bad. Boris Kasharik was pretty, and apparently insightful, but Ivanov was aware his whims were fickle. She went on, "He introduced us, but I wouldn't wanna rely on his good nature, that's for sure."

"Have you told your parents?" Damir asked.

Ivanov blew a raspberry. "Of course not," she said. "I don't know when I'm gonna, either. I mean, I like Yuri, but I do feel like he might actually be the worst first boyfriend to take home to Ma and Pa."

"What, you don't think your parents want a big, strong man to take care of their baby boy?" Alexei asked. "And a sergeant! Older man, too, I assume. There's uniform hunters would be envious."

"I think Pa might have a bloody coronary," Ivanov said, chuckling. "Or else just ignore it, you know? Full denial."

"It's so nice of you to share your bed wth your friend, Yosif," Alexei said, again putting on a high-pitched voice, for some reason.

"Anyway, that's probably something to worry about when we've been dating longer than half an hour," Ivanov said.

"Oh, you just made it official," Nikita said. "Like, right now."

"After I told Alexei to fuck off," Ivanov agreed.

"I guess I should retract my complaint about you not telling us sooner, damn," Alexei said. "That's as fast as anyone could tell anyone."

"Pretty much," Ivanov said.

*

"So now we're going steady," Ivanov said, "maybe it won't sound too patronizing if I ask, uh. I mean, you do know Kasharik's bad news, right?"

"He's not that bad," Yuri said.

"Oh sticks," Ivanov muttered, rolling her eyes. "He's a creep and you know it. I know it. Everyone knows it. And I know I don't have no proof he's worse than a creep, but I got a strong suspicion he's worse than that."

"People aren't kind about openly gay men," Yuri said.

Ivanov kicked him under the table, hard. "How many openly gay men are out on the town telling their boyfriends to bend over for a stranger if they don't want to get dumped?" she asked. "Yeah, maybe not just him, but I wouldn't feel too safe around those other guys either."

"He has some questionable tastes," Yuri allowed. "But so do I. So do you."

"Babe," Ivanov said, which made Yuri's chest feel warm and fuzzy despite the conversation topic, "my questionable tastes don't threaten anyone with insubordination or social suicide. You been working with him, what, two years now? You must've noticed he's a dick in a pretty specific way."

"He's not dangerous," Yuri said. After a moment, he reconsidered. "Usually."

"That is not the kind of qualification you gotta make about a safe person," Ivanov said. "You have to know that."

Yuri thought back to how his stomach twisted when Ivanov asked him to keep Kasharik out of their dates, and how certain he'd been that would be a problem. "Maybe," he said. "But I am spending less time with him, now."

"Yeah, well," Ivanov said, smiling. "That ain't the main reason I went out with you, but it's a happy side effect, as far as I'm concerned." She reached across the table for his hand, and Yuri gave it to her. "I just, he's a knobby knob, you know? Seems like he might be possessive." She squeezed his hand. "Which I take issue with."

"Please don't try to fight Lord Kasharik for my hand," Yuri said. Ivanov laughed, as Yuri had intended her to.

*

Yuri had started out kind of expecting Ivanov to drop him at some point, maybe after she could be out to more people, but he was less and less sure of that every day. Ivanov not only really liked getting plowed by him, she seemed to have a good time on their dates. She laughed at Yuri's jokes, when Yuri thought to make them. She smiled at Yuri all the time. And then of course she asked if Yuri would go steady with her, even providing a substitution for misgendering her that wouldn't raise any eyebrows. Maybe Yuri wasn't experienced at the whole dating thing, but that didn't seem like something you suggested to someone you weren't actually interested in.

The sex was great, of course. It was never really like the first time, but as phenomenal as being able to transition right into fucking from a fight was, Yuri found it was unsurprisingly more rewarding to have sex with someone who wanted to have sex with him.

The simple facts that Ivanov got hard and clingy just from making out, that she obviously ogled Yuri's body when Yuri was undressed, and that she was eager to go on dates but by the end of them was just as eager to get Yuri into bed, were so, so nice. Even if the sex had been boring and vanilla, it would have been nice just for that, for feeling desirable. Everyone before Kasharik just wanted something from Yuri, and Kasharik's picks tended to be clearly doing it just to please Kasharik. Some of them had been humiliated by having sex with Yuri. As hot as that was, it was also kind of…degrading, perhaps. To have it happen all the time. That none of them wanted to have sex with him.

He'd sort of assumed that was how everyone would be about him. That he was ugly enough and uncharismatic enough that no one would ever want to have sex with him just for its own sake. But he had to admit Kasharik was unlikely to find that as interesting or fun as convincing people to let Yuri fuck them just to make him happy. And Ivanov wasn't some kind of especially-perverse freak; in most respects she was a normal woman.

Well. As much as a closeted transsexual woman on Kavagor could be.

Yuri had literally beaten Ivanov and forcibly stripped her, yet Ivanov didn't seem humiliated to be having sex with Yuri. Even that first time, she seemed more bothered by what it said about her than about Yuri. And she did it again, and again, and again. She was practically desperate for Yuri's skin against hers by the end of some of their dates. She yelped, hit Yuri, and called him names, but she also moaned like she'd never felt anything so good in her life, locked her ankles behind Yuri, and begged Yuri not to stop.

She was turned on by doing it rough. She liked to fight back a bit, which Yuri really enjoyed, but she also always reached a point where she was too into it to protest. She'd do anything Yuri asked her to at that point, which was the kind of thing Yuri didn't want Kasharik to ever find out about.

"Oh, fuck," Ivanov moaned into a pillow while Yuri humped her furiously. "Blood, Yuri," she said.

"You want it?" Yuri breathed into her ear. "Does my pretty little girl want to get filled up?"

Ivanov whined. "Yes," she said. "Yes, please, yes sir, yes, yes, yes."

"Say it," Yuri demanded.

Ivanov groaned. "Please," she said.

Yuri slipped one arm around Ivanov's neck, taking all his weight on the other arm. "Say it," he growled.

Ivanov whined again. "Please, I want to get filled up, I want you to come inside me, I want it, I like it, please, fill me up, pump me so full of come I get pregnant."

Objectively, that was ridiculous. Gender identity aside, Ivanov did not have the equipment to get pregnant. And Yuri was fucking her in the ass besides, which was not typically something that carried the risk of pregnancy. In the moment, though, it was the hottest thing Yuri had ever heard. He said, "Oh yes, pretty girl, I'm going to knock you up. I'm going to get you pregnant. Just fucking wait."

Ivanov gasped, "Yuri!" and started clenching around Yuri's cock.

"You want it so bad, don't you, sweetie?" Yuri asked. "It's like you're trying to milk it out of me, you slut."

"I am, I do, I want it," Ivanov said. "Blood, Yuri, please, please, I--Sergei's bones," she swore, as Yuri started coming. She said she couldn't feel it much in her ass, but she could certainly feel the way Yuri went taut, and Yuri knew his arm around Ivanov's neck had tightened.

Afterwards, Ivanov buried her face beneath a pillow. "Don't look at me," she said.

"Sweetheart?" Yuri asked.

"I'm fine, it's not you," Ivanov said, waving one hand in the air vaguely. "I'm just embarrassed. Bones."

"Ah," Yuri said.

"I mean, I can't even do that," Ivanov said, words muddied a little by the pillow. "I'm not sure I could do that if I moved to bloody Vilvinudes or Gnilles or something and got every surgery I could."

"Pretty sure you could," Yuri said. "Might take a while, but they can clone people for parts. Don't see why they couldn't clone you a womb."

"It's more I don't got nowhere to put it," Ivanov said, "though I guess most organs are squishy anyway. It's just--fucking embarrassing to get turned on by something I don't even want."

Yuri waited a few moments, but Ivanov didn't acknowledge the irony in that statement. Yuri felt he had to say, "Remind me how we met."

Ivanov kicked him. "Shut up," she said. "That's different. It's fucking normal to get turned on by having your gender affirmed. Or don't you like being my big, strong man?"

"I do," Yuri said. He liked it extra hard because Ivanov could hold her own against almost anyone else; being her big, strong man meant he was pretty damn big and strong. "But I promise it's also normal to get turned on by the idea of getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant, whether or not you want kids."

"I never said I didn't want kids, I said I didn't want to be pregnant," Ivanov muttered. That was interesting, Yuri thought. "And that's--pregnancy is gross and dangerous. Galactic women don't even do it no more."

That wasn't entirely true, from what Yuri knew about artificial wombs, but he knew what she meant. Certainly women still died in childbirth quite often, which was much less of a concern on planets where they used artificial wombs. "Fair enough," he said.

Ivanov pushed the pillow off her face and rolled over to look at Yuri. "What d'you mean it's normal, anyway?" she asked. "How would you know?"

Yuri realized he'd never told Ivanov about his childhood. "I grew up in a brothel," he said. "Mama was a whore. Pretty common theme from the johns."

"Oh," Ivanov said. Thankfully, she didn't seem either surprised or disgusted. Yuri hadn't really thought she would, but it was always a possibility. "Yeah, all right, I guess you'd have a decent sample to draw from, then. Old Town?" Ivanov asked, and Yuri nodded. "You don't talk like it."

Yuri shrugged. "Makes things worse, usually," he said. "Recruiters thought it made me sound stupid."

"Sure," Ivanov said. "I won't pretend I don't talk a little more proper when I'm in uniform." She poked Yuri's side. "But I ain't gonna judge you for it."

"It's easier not to go back and forth," Yuri said.

"I s'pose," Ivanov said. She poked Yuri's side again. "It is part of why I thought you couldn't be that good in a fight, though."

Yuri thought about that for a moment. He said, "'S good tactics, then, innit?"

Ivanov burst into laughter. "Shut the fuck up," she said, shoving him.

[ladyravenjadethe2nd]

Pokémon and Hunter x Hunter

So on Ao3 their are about 3 decent fics about this crossover, but none of them have made Pokémon into a Nen power and I think that's a waste.

In greed island Ging and his friends make NPCs and magic monsters that have powers. Like you could just replace Greed Island with Pokémon island and say that whoever becomes the champion gets to take a team of 6 Pokémon out of the game. Some Pokémon have healing powers so you could do everything the same from how you get into the game to that rich dude trying to save his lover.

You get a pokedex instead of a ring. The island is now Kanto. The gym leaders are the NPCs. Boom easy story.

But it isn't the story I think would be the most fun to write. I think it's a perfect power for an Isekai into Hunter X Hunter.

Huge Pokémon fan from our world dies and is reborn in a place where your nen ability is strongest when it's something that's important to you or you have a lot of experience with.

Interestingly enough I think the best way to make this person OP without being a Mary Sue is to make then be reborn as Neon.

She has the perfect backstory. Become a very powerful specialist because of an interest of hers and has a very indulgent father that is smart enough to turn her talent into wealth.

So you could make the power in a lot of different ways, but since this person knows Pokémon and would miss it. I'll go with they are around 5 when they have a vivid dream of being a Pokémon trainer and holding their own pokedex.

They wake up with the feeling of the pokedex in still in their hand and find that their nen has in fact created one.

When they turn it on however their is only a blank pokedex entry. Naturally they fill the entry with everything they can remember about the first pokemon Bulbasaur. Maybe they have to get everything exactly right. Maybe this only works because they could draw the pokemon correctly, and had the correct weight/height and remembered word for word information about the pokemon, but regardless once the entry is done a light shines from the pokedex as if trying to scan something and from that light appears a Bulbasaur.

Now you could make so that either your entry has to be that exact, or you can scan a plant bulb and then the plant turns into a Bulbasaur. I think it's fair that if you can find the real world equivalent of a Pokémon just basic information about them should be fine.

Now that we have a good reason to randomly get a specialist ability let's make you super rich, by using sleep powder, poison powder, and stun spore into boxes so your dad can sell these cool new drugs.

Nice. So I'd say the pokemon wouldn't listen to you at first. You will have to befriend it or create a pokeball which would be harder to do, but your 5 when you get the starting ability so a few years to learn it won't matter much.

Also your dad be giving you anything you want so Nen teacher? Why not?

You could go into tech and make actual Pokémon games and shows to sell which could become a big thing and realistically Milluki would be into it so you could use that connection if you wanted.

You could be on a journey to fill your pokedex meaning you want to scan things to make more pokemon. When it comes to ghost and dark types your gonna need stuff like corpses that had a violent end. Hey there Kurapika let's go to that auction shall we?

You could decide that you want an island to make a safe environment for your pokemon and your dad who is rich as fuck after your housecat turned into a meowth that can use pay day buys you one or better yet rents out half of Whale island for your use. Sup Gon?

You could decide that Greed Island needs some competition so you out bid that guy for one of the games so you can go into it and learn how to make your own. Kurapika could come as your body guard and you could befriend Gon and Killua on your way.

There's like a dozens of fanfics that could be made with this kind of thing. Feel free to use these ideas if you want. I'm too busy with my Wip to write any of them properly.

[fangirlwriting-stories]

They Say You Can't Fight Fate (I Say Fucking Watch Me)

Summary: Remus decided a long time ago that if he ever met his soulmate he'd fuck them up.  It's only fair to return the favor, after all of the bullshit they've put him through.

Well, in all fairness, that's more his parents fault.  But blaming them didn't get him out of this place either.

Author’s Note: You know what time it is, that's right it's time to explore what a fucking nightmare it would be to live in a society with actual soulmates!  Vis-a-vis some Remus and Roman angst this time!

Also just for the record, I haven't finished this one yet and I'm not entirely sure if I will, but I've decided I like what I've written enough to post anyway!  To be clear I am still planning on finishing it as of now, I've just stopped actively working on it and I decided I didn't want to wait and see if I finished it or not.  As of now there are six chapters, and I will post all of them if nothing else!  Check the tags on this one, there's some bad stuff in here.

...

The part Remus couldn’t ever get over is that when he was younger, he was fine.  Ask anyone, he was a happy kid.   He and Roman liked playing pretend, wrestling for fun, drawing or writing together, running around together in the rain and getting absolutely soaked.  Remus was bright eyed and optimistic and hopeful and ready for a happy future and a fulfilling life.

It was all absolutely the fucking soulmates fault.  Whoever they were, Remus was never going to forgive them.

“Please don’t jump.”  That had to be the first thing they said to him.  They couldn’t have said “Hey, why don’t we go get some ice cream instead of this?” or “Hey, can we talk for a bit first?”

Or maybe they were talking about skydiving!  Maybe Remus was going to develop a passion for skydiving and meet his soulmate, the scaredy-cat who’s having second thoughts right before they jump completely safely out of the plane!  That sounded right up his alley, didn’t it?  That sounded like him!

Or it had.  Up until his parents shoved him into this clinical emotionless condescending hellhole and turned Remus’ life into the ultimate self-fulfilling prophecy.

Because the thing is, if you explain to someone over and over and over again that you’re fine, and you don’t feel like you have any mental issues, and they never believe you?  Well.  That can fuck with someone in the head a little bit.

Either way, it meant Remus had spent most of his life in this stupid fucking hospital, and he wasn’t going to get out for the foreseeable future.  Probably not ever, because no one ever believed him.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true.  Roman believed him.  Roman had been there the first time they’d asked Remus if he thought about hurting himself, and Roman had given them a baffled look because Remus told him everything, obviously, and if Remus had been bothered by something he would have told him.

Roman had just a tad bit more luck than Remus in the soulmark department.  His wrist said “I love you, you know that?”

Meaning everyone thought he was going to have just the most peachy soulmate story ever.  Someone who was starry-eyed from the second they met him.  How could anyone with such a soulmark have any problems whatsoever?  Never mind Roman’s crippling insecurity and desperation for attention, which Remus had to do his best to help Roman with alone, because no one else was ever going to bother trying.

Instead, Roman was there as no one believed Remus when he explained that no, he really was fine, he was good, why was that so hard to believe?  Roman had backed up his story, seeming baffled that none of them understood that.

He’d protested alongside Remus when he started seeing therapists he didn’t need and Roman wanted, and eventually when Remus was sent away to a psych hospital that neither of them needed.  But the two of them backing each other up had apparently never been enough, and now Remus was here and got to see Roman once every two weeks as if that was enough to stop feeling bitter about Roman growing up without him.

His one consolation was that Roman hated it just as much as he did.  He’d never come with news that he’d made friends, even though he had to have.  He never told Remus that he’d gotten the lead role in a school play, even though his parents had told Remus earlier that visit.  He never told Remus that he’d gotten his drivers license, despite his parents raving about how proud they were.  Instead, they talked about creative projects they’d been working on together since the last time Roman was there, they watched TV shows on the phone Roman brought with him that Remus wasn’t allowed to have.  It was like Roman had decided that while he was there, his life consisted of Remus.

Remus adored him for it.  He could imagine just how quickly he’d come to hate Roman if he started telling Remus about the life he was living without him.  He wanted Roman to have one, obviously.  But he also didn’t want to hate him.  And he still wanted to be part of it.  So Roman found a way to, as best he could, say that Remus still was.

Remus just wished it could be enough.

But it wasn’t.

No amount of working on stories and paintings with Roman could change the fact that he was here every day, had no choice or chance to get out, and no one believed that he didn’t want to fucking kill himself.

Remus imagined that it was all of this put together that first made him start considering the idea.

Not seriously, not at first.  Just a little sarcastic laugh of a thought, “Why don’t you just prove ‘em all right then, if they’re going to think they are either way?”

Heh, yeah.

Hey… yeah.

What did he have to look forward to anyway, really?  It’s not like he was getting out of here at eighteen.  His parents still got to control that.  He wasn’t mentally well enough to make the decision.  Because he was never mentally goddamn well enough to make the fucking decision.  And he never would be, because no one would ever let him be.

And he wanted out of here.

The idea made more sense the more Remus thought about it, and there wasn’t much else to think about in here.  He was sure Roman picked up on something being wrong (or at least more wrong than usual), but he didn’t tell him.  He trusted Roman, but he also trusted that if he admitted to Roman what he was thinking, Roman would tell someone.  And then everyone would feel vindicated in shoving Remus in here.  And then Roman would start wondering if he was wrong to have Remus’ back.  And Remus could not lose him.

So he said nothing.  And Roman said nothing.  And Remus stumbled his way into a plan.

Visiting time was good.  Roman and him had worked out years ago that if Remus didn’t show up right away, he was sneaking some kind of contraband that would make his life a little more bearable, and Roman shouldn’t say anything.

So Remus, minutes before visiting started when the orderlies were getting everyone else ready, slipped into the stairwell.

There wasn’t exactly easy access to the roof for obvious reasons, but Remus knew how to break a window from the top floor.  And he was pretty sure it was just high enough to work.

So why couldn’t he force himself to throw the damn rock at the window?

He’d been staring at the window opposite the top of the stairs for at least fifteen minutes now, trying to figure out why he couldn’t throw the thing.  It’s not like he had all the time in the world.  And this was probably his only chance, because once someone found him here, he’d be watched much more closely.  So he really should throw the rock right about now.

Do it.  Throw it at the window.  Now.

…Except he didn’t want to die.  Even now, he didn’t want to die.  He’d never wanted to fucking die.

Remus set the rock gingerly on the window sill and buried his head in his hands.  Why couldn’t he just want to fucking die?  Wasn’t he now trying to do what everyone expected of him?  Wasn’t that supposed to be a good thing?

Footsteps on the stairs behind him.  Remus reached out and picked up the rock, looking numbly out the window instead of behind him at the person.

But then Roman’s voice said, “Remus,” gasping and panicked, so he set the rock back down on the windowsill.

Roman wrapped his arms around him from behind.  “You didn’t show up after ten minutes,” Roman murmured into his shoulder.  “What are you doing here?”  He asked it like he already suspected the answer.  Remus didn’t give him another one.

“Remus,” Roman said.  “Please—”

“Don’t,” Remus snapped.  “You dare.”

“I wasn’t,” Roman said, sounding almost surprised.  “I wouldn’t.  I was going to say ‘please come back with me.’”

Remus shook his head.  “No.”

“Remus—”

“No, Roman.  I’m done.”

“You can’t be,” Roman said.  “Remus, you can’t be done.”

“Why not?”

“Remus,” Roman said, sounding scared, desperate.  “Remus, please, I can’t lose you.”

“The hell are you talking about, you’ll be fine,” Remus snapped, gesturing down vaguely towards Roman’s wrist.

“No I won’t,” Roman said.  “Don’t tell me that, don’t tell me how I feel, I—” Remus tensed, and he stopped.

“I’m sorry,” Roman whispered.

“I can’t spend another day there while they try to find out what secret trauma I have hidden away as if it’s not them,” Remus spat.  “I can’t do it.”

Roman didn’t say anything, just squeezed Remus tightly.

“I can’t do it Roman,” Remus whispered.  “I don’t want to die, but I can’t live like this anymore.”

“So,” Roman said suddenly.  “So don’t.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Let’s leave.  Let’s run.”

“What, you think it’ll be different somewhere else?”

“It will if you already have your soulmate.”

“I don’t,” Remus said.  “They’ll never let me meet them anyway, not while I’m here.”

“I’ll be your soulmate,” Roman said.  “I’ll do it for you.”

Remus gave him a look.  “You can’t just do that.”

Roman gave him a very firm look back, took his wrist gently in his hand, and said honestly, sincerely, and worriedly, “Please don’t jump.”

Remus looked at him for a very long time, but didn’t say anything.  Finally, Roman gently offered his own wrist out to Remus.

A million protests ran through Remus’ head.  Roman couldn’t give up his perfect soulmate story just for his stupid fucked up institutionalized brother.  Roman had a person out there waiting, someone who probably loved him romantically, instead of just the stupid platonic soulmate like Remus would be, that most people didn’t even want in the first place.  Roman couldn’t just run off with him, how would they live, neither of them had jobs.  Roman would be leaving friends and school and a potential future behind.  Remus couldn’t take any of that from him just because he was tired and miserable.

Roman nudged him gently with his wrist, cutting off all his protests.

Remus turned and met his eyes.  Roman was looking at him with nothing but love and determination.

Remus’ eyes well up with tears.  “I love you, you know that?” he whispered, completely genuinely.

Roman nodded and pulled Remus into his arms, and they both sat there for a while.  They’d have a million details to work out, but there was still another half hour left for visiting, and for right now Remus was going to sit here with his brother.

...

Chapter Two

[newpotatomash]

It's so fucking ironic when little shits start pelting the comment section in fics that are clearly tagged with "pedophilia" and "dead dove do not eat" and similar words.

Long fucking rant under the cut-

What is it with these people and being unable to just fucking click the back button? It isn't even my fanfiction, but these people just scream everything between "Go to therapy" and "kill yourself" as if they actually wish for people to deal with whatever might cause an issue in their life??? They fucking don't. They just want to scream at strangers to die while they write "UwU dead dove do not eat" fanfics themselves that include murder and violent fantasies of a fictional character.

But it's fine when they do it because nobody involved is underage as if that makes their stupid fucking rules about thought-crimes any less violent.

Why is it always the same people who insist they love dark media?? Either you're fine with MADE UP ACTS or you're not. You can't just fucking pick and choose and decide that you're the authority of "acceptable" violence that someone thought up in their heads.

I am extremely fickle when it comes to media that involves vaginal sex, and that is my responsibility to curate, which is why I fucking??? Don't??? Walk right into a fanfic that's been tagged with those exact tags and blame the author.

I saw someone going something like, "No sane person would read this. I can only imagine a very impressionable child stumbled upon it and saw it, which breaks my heart ngl"

IF AN IMPRESSIONABLE CHILD STARTS TICKING BOXES FOR A VERY SPECIFIC TYPE OF FANFIC, AND THEY THEN PROCEED TO READ IT, HOW THE HELL IS THAT THE AUTHORS FAULT. we're one goddamn step away from blaming murder on video games here.

These fucking people think that wishing death upon others for writing a piece of fiction is any better than a 14 year old reading said piece of fiction and going, "Whoa. Weird." And then leaving the website because they realized that pretending to be 18+ was a bad idea.

I am in awe over the internet.

The amount of times I see the word "degenerate" on a day is completely bonkers and I wish sites weren't so fucking scared of porn. We're just competing in some fucked up moral olympics and nobody is winning except the advertisers who cry snot at a site allowing 18+ content. I love ao3 so much.

I hate that if I wish to post smutty drawings I have to use twitter? I won't suddenly start using a site like furaffinity when I don't draw anything that would count as furry.

I hate the internet for taking away the immeasurable joy it is to bond with people who just want to play dolls (write fanfics or draw fanart, make oc stuff, all that) with me. I've met some of my best friends online that I've sent and received gifts from over the span of 5, 10, 15 years.

I remember writing an abundance of shotacon fics, and knowing it was an acquired taste, but never seeing the kind of moral-policing we have now. (I know it existed. Of course) Hell, I remember people just saying that Enzai was an amazing anime because to them, it was a given that a yaoi anime would include kids and rape and false imprisonment?? It was the fucking wild west and it's like people saw this and went "Hey... We should start tagging things."

But instead of continuing to have fun with their fictional writings and tagging topics in the stories, we just escalated into "We have a pedophilia tag but people will wish death upon you."

How do these people survive in day-to-day life in actual conversation? Do they start arguing and calling a 15 year old who has a crush on their 14 year old friend a pedophile? Do they start berating young women because they named their boyfriend "daddy" in their phonebook? Why are they like this???

I miss fanfiction.net and livejournal so much when the biggest concern was figuring out what topic I'd discuss while I pretended to speak to characters from Yugioh and yelling "I don't own any of these characters". I miss it so much. It made my life better. I found community, I made friends. I wonder what kind of friends people nowadays will make 15 years from now.

Shout out to my buddies from ffnet who are still following me because you know exactly who you are