#In god we trust (in cars you rust?)

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

Alien Sex Fiend - In god we trust (in cars you rust?)

[brandyllyn]

Silk from their soul (09)

The Ghoul / Cooper Howard x f!reader [no use of y/n]

Rated: M Words: 1.3k Summary: Just a taste

Series Masterlist My Masterlist

Everything feels strained, on edge.

The Cowboy hadn’t said anything about your almost kiss that night. He was picking his way across what you think might have once been Moreno Valley, arguing that the up and over route - while quicker - was too dangerous.

You just had to trust him on that, even if it meant much slower going than you really wanted.

He hadn’t brought up the kissing, but he was touching you a lot more now. A palm on your waist when you went past. Offering his hand when you needed to climb over something. Once you could have sworn he’d kissed the back of your shoulder - feather light and quick as a butterfly. He hadn’t met your eye when you glanced back at him, staring off into the distance at God only knew what.

“Anything to see up there?”

You stare out at the wasteland from your perch on top of a rusted out car. It’s a sports car, so not that high off the ground, but it had been easy to clamber onto and get a better view of the endless flat nothing between you and the mountains.

“Some dirt, couple of bushes.”

There it is, his hand, sliding up from the back of your knee to cup behind your thigh. It was almost like he was steadying you, but his hand was about two inches too high for that to be appropriate.

You glance down and he smirks up at you, eyes bright with mischief. Without breaking eye contact he slides his hand a bit further upwards, the hem of your skirt pooling at his wrist.

You’re going to fall off the damn car.

The glove is coarse and rough against your skin but it only makes it feel more real. He idly strokes his fingers, not reaching any higher, but lighting up the ends of your nerves regardless.

“See anywhere to stop for a spell?”

Frowning, you continue to check the area, barely able to concentrate with his hand on you. He hits a ticklish spot and you squeal, jumping away and making an awful racket against the metal roof of the car. You glare and he grins, propping his now free hand on the car and swinging himself up next to you.

“Looks like a lightning storm coming in, we should find a spot for the night.”

He’s standing way too close to you, but he doesn’t mention it and neither do you. Rumbling thunder causes the metal beneath you both to shudder and you stumble backwards. Without seeming to notice, he wraps an arm around your waist, tugging your back into his chest.

“Reckon that’s abandoned?”

You have no idea where he’s looking. All you can think about is the almost kiss you’d had, the way his mouth had moved over your neck.

He hums thoughtfully behind you then the hand on your waist turns and he’s cupping your breast. He acts like it’s not a momentous act, casually holding you while he continues to talk.

“If we set out now we can be there in the hour.”

Sure, whatever he says. His thumb is sweeping an arch, just brushing your nipple with every movement. Are you supposed to be saying something? Doing something? Something besides panting next to him that is?

There’s no mistaking the brush of his lips this time, trailing across your shoulder up to your neck, pausing just at your ear. He nips it and you hear him chuckle.

“We need to get a move on.”

And then he lets your breast go only to slap your ass - hard.

You yelp and he laughs again, hopping down and holding a hand up to help you. You take it without thinking, sliding down his body until your boots touch earth. He’s still got that shit-eating grin on his face and you turn away in a huff, heading in the direction he was looking.

You make it less than ten steps before he corrects you.

It’s a little further away than he had guessed and the storm catches up quick. The air grows heavy, gooseflesh rising on your arms as the clouds above you rumble. You hear something heavy and wet splat to the ground.

“Rain would be nice,” you tell him hopefully. Rain tended to be cleaner than almost any other water and you needed to refill your canteens anyway.

Another plop and the Cowboy frowns. “That ain’t water.”

Something hits your shoulder and you wince, craning your neck to look. A hint of grey catches your eye before he’s grabbing you by the upper arm and dragging you along at a much quicker pace.

“What-?”

“You don’t want to know,” he grunts.

Your boots squelch on something and you try not to think about it. Something bounces off your head and you raise your free arm to shield yourself. The structure is a hundred yards away and you make it there at a dead run.

Inside you try to catch your breath, lowering your arm to see what hit you. The Cowboy is there in an instant. 

“I’ll make a fire, do yourself a favor and don’t look.”

With a whimper you close your eyes, trying not to think about it. Radioactive goo? The spots that were hit feel numb. You hear him strike flint to steel and a moment later the soft warmth of the fire. Rocks shift and then his hands are on your waist, pulling you to the ground.

“What is going on?”

“Just a couple freeloaders trying to get a taste.”

What the hell does that mean?

Something sizzles behind you and then you feel him move, tossing something away. You can’t help it, you look.

A leech.

A giant two headed leech almost as long as your palm.

You think about how many times you were hit.

“Oh my God…”

Another sizzle, his hand settling on your shoulder and squeezing. “I said don’t peek.”

“How many are there?”

“Tasty thing like you? I’m surprised there’s not more.”

It’s not an answer and you decide not to push. He stretches your arm to the side and you see the pulsating shape out of the corner of your eye before you close them entirely.

It takes him a few minutes, heating up his knife between each one and burning them off of you. It doesn’t hurt but every leech removed makes you want to crawl further into a hole and die. He’s thorough, looking down the back of your dress and pulling your skirt up to check your thighs. Even when he slips his hand between them to push your knees apart it doesn’t occur to you he might have something else in mind.

Then his tongue, tracing over a numb area on your back, humming to himself. “Can’t say I blame them.”

“Are you-?”

Suddenly his hands wrap tighter, the one between your legs clutching high to your inner thigh. “I’ll follow your rules, sweetheart, but you gotta follow mine.”

You tilt your head to give him better access instead of answering, sinking into his embrace. He’s got you locked between his legs, your packs sitting discarded to the side.

“First rule is - you don’t wanna play you gotta say so. Don’t expect me to read no signals. I ain’t one of them psychics.”

His hands appear in front of you and you watch through half lidded eyes as he pulls his gloves off, setting them to the side.

“Second rule is,” one hand slips inside of your dress while the other settles back on your thigh, “you like what I’m doing you tell me, and if you ain’t liking it you tell me that too.”

You nod then gasp when he pinches your nipple.

“With your words, sweetheart.”

“Yes, I- I like it. I want it.”

He hums and presses his lips to the back of your neck, tongue sweeping down while his fingertips play across your panties. You let your knees fall open further until they’re resting on his own.

“Is there a third?” you ask breathlessly.

His dark chuckle lights up your nerve endings.

“Hold the fuck on.”

☢ ☢ ☢

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[damn-stark]

Chapter 3 I’d make a deal with god

Chapter 3 of Tragedy at the Miller’s

A/N- I hope you guys like the chapter

Warning- ANGST, violence, death and blood, swearing, long chapter, some fluff :)

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader, Henry x Fem!reader

Episode- 1x05-1x06 (only the beginning)

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

————

The street was quiet. And as far as views go, it was the same way as it was in the tunnel, dark and eerie.

The stars overhead were tempting to admire, you felt grateful that you were out of the humid tunnel and breathing fresh air, but the cul-de-sac was too quiet, and you weren’t actually across the river yet. You knew better than to get your hopes up too soon; just like most of what you’ve learned from life, you learned that the hard way.

Yet it seems Henry and Sam don’t quite get that.

Then again how could they know? The farthest they’ve gone out of the city is being in that forest. They only know a small part of what the world is like.

“No,” Henry breaks the silence you had purposely left as you tried to make your way to the bridge. “No one is here. No one’s gonna be here because my plan worked.”

Your dad scoffs in annoyance, “so much goddamn talkin’.”

You look back at Henry over your shoulder and add on too. “We’re not across the river yet, let’s wait to celebrate then.”

“I’m just saying,” Henry continues smugly. “I delivered.”

You smirk faintly and roll your eyes to look back ahead.

“Make this right,” he points out. “Go down the street, embankment behind the last house, and we’re out.”

“So we cross the river and then what?” Ellie asks. “Where ya gonna go?”

You glance over at your dad, and even if it hasn’t been discussed you know that there’s no option but to travel home together now.

At least you hope that’s what he’s thinkin’ too.

“We’re going to Wyoming,” you share and blink to look at your dad for reassurance. “We can go together.”

But as expected when your dad meets your gaze he remains nonchalant. He then peers back at Henry though, and seems to look…unsure. “How about we cross the river and then talk.”

You swallow thickly and look back ahead. Would this really be it?

Ellie notices his look, he reads him like you do and comments on the matter. “Don’t worry he’ll give in. Trust me.”

Trust her?

How long have they been together?

“This is how it goes?” Ellie continues. “He’s like, No, Ellie,” she begins to mock him in a deep voice, causing you to blink in disbelief before you peer back at her. “Never, ever, ever happening.”

Regardless of what uneasiness you felt by his lack of agreeance, what jealousy just sparked, you can’t help but grin in amusement at her teasing.

“And then I’m like,” Ellie continues in her normal voice. “I’m gonna ask you a million more times. And he’s like—”

Before she can finish what she’s saying, she’s suddenly interrupted by the sound of a gunshot whizzing past your ear, and hitting the ground inches away from you.

“Fuck!” Ellie screams, while you cover your ear and throw yourself to the ground, losing that smile.

“Move, move!” Your dad yells and proceeds to grab your arm to yank you off the ground, and push you and Ellie behind a rusted car.

“Y/N,” you hear Henry from the ear that’s not currently ringing. “Are you okay? Did it hit you?”

You groan and shake your head. “No…no,” you pant. “Just went past me.”

“Where fuck is that coming from—”

“Shut up,” your dad cuts Henry off now.

You pull your hand away from your ear as the ringing begins to fade, and look over at your dad peeking past the top of the hood. A gunshot then breaks a car window though, so he ducks his head back down.

“How many?” You ask him.

Your dad shakes his head. “One, I think. I can’t be sure, not from here.”

You swallow thickly and snatch your rifle off your shoulder. You try to suggest a risky idea that comes to mind, but then another gunshot goes off and a hand wraps around your wrist instead.

“Shit,” Henry panics and looks away from the shooter to try and move with Sam at his other hand. “Alright, fuck. Let’s move. Let’s go.”

Without hesitance you yank your arm back and grab his wrist instead to pull him back down. “I’m not leaving my dad. And you can’t just get up like that or you’ll get shot,” you scold him as kindly as you can sound. “Stay down.” You then snap your eyes to your dad and share the idea you had in mind. “I can shoot them, I just need a distraction so he doesn’t end up shooting me.”

A bullet hits the car you’re behind, and your dad lets his gaze linger on you as he thinks about the plan you shared.

You want him to say yes so he’d see that you’re capable, that you’ve changed from that little girl he saw last time, years ago.

However, he shakes his head and sighs.

“Dad—”

“I’ll go,” he cuts you off before you can argue. “You two stay here.” He directs to Ellie and yourself.

“What?” Ellie asks in confusion.

He turns to face Ellie now. “If you don’t move, he’s not gonna hit you,” he tells her, and then looks to you. “I’m gonna go around, try to get in the house through the back, and then I’ll take him out.”

You shake your head and protest. “If you go out there, he’s gonna kill you.”

“It’s dark and he has shit aim. Nobody’s gonna kill me. Besides, I ain’t putting you at risk.”

“You just said—”

“Y/N,” he cuts you off sharply. “Do you trust me?”

You lower your shoulders from their tense position, you let your face soften from its hardened state and nod softly without as much as thinking about it.

Your dad proceeds to pull his gun out and looks to Ellie to speak to her. “If anything happens you stick with her, got it?”

Ellie glances at you and hesitates before returning her gaze to him and nodding in comprehension. After that your dad proceeds to scurry away through the cover of night, making the person in that house try to follow him with their gun to try and shoot him.

And now, while the person is distracted you lift your head over the car's hood to finally take a peek yourself. That’s when you catch only one light reflecting from a window before the bullet hits the ground in front of the car. You proceed to look around at the other houses to see if there were more, but your dad was right it seems to be just one in the house straight ahead.

Just one. Your dad will be fine.

You duck back behind the car and wait. Wait in anticipation. You hold onto your pendant around your neck and wait. A few more bullets go off and hit the objects around you, you wait for them to reload and shoot again, but a longer silence follows now, letting you guess that your dad might have reached the shooter now.

You slowly lift your head and peek out, and luckily this time you see no more reflection. Yet you can’t be assured that your dad has gotten to him, not until you can see him up there giving you all a sign.

However, a few seconds pass of more silence and he doesn’t give you any. Instead you hear one gunshot echo, it doesn’t hit anything nearby it just echoes, meaning one of two things; your dad shot the shooter, or the shooter shot your dad.

You can’t think of losing him just as you reunited, so you’ll go with he’s the one that shot the shooter first.

“It seems your dad got him,” Henry interjects.

You stop fiddling with the pendant and meet his gaze with hope. “Yeah,” you whisper. “I think so too. Let’s just wait until he gives a sign though.”

Henry nods in agreement, and silence follows again. Albeit the silence breaks soon thereafter with a distant scream from your dad. “Run!”

You blink in confusion, and hang your rifle over your shoulder again as you slowly push yourself up to try and get a view of him.

“Run!” Your dad yells again.

Why is he saying that?

And only seconds later is when you begin to hear the distant sounds of engines running. When you snap your eyes ahead you notice headlights down the street, getting larger the closer they get, and brighter as more than one begins to appear.

“Go! Go, go!” You bellow to the group, and push Ellie in front of you so she can get ahead of you so can you run behind her, Henry and Sam.

The closer the leading car gets, the more you hear metal clashing as cars blocking the street get shoved aside. Bullets ring against metal too as your dad tries to shoot the driver of the moving truck, and as Ellie tries to shoot back aimlessly.

You want to shoot at the driver too to at least get that car off your trail, but when you hit the trigger you come out empty since you haven’t given Henry his empty pistol back.

“Fuck,” you grumble. “Fuck. Fuck.”

As Henry and Sam get ahead faster, you mindlessly begin to run past Ellie to try and reach the other end of the street. However, it’s at that moment that you begin to get ahead that you suddenly hear glass clash, brakes then screech before you hear a crash through one of the wooden houses.

You try to look back at the sight, you try to look back even when you hear multiple cars brake behind you, even if it’s one thing you didn’t like to do while running away from dangerous shit, but you remember Ellie had fallen behind, so you look. That’s when you see her on the ground, and multiple people climbing out of their cars.

It’s a fucking risk to go back especially since they all have guns, but you can’t leave her behind, not even if you feel a smidge of jealousy towards her. Maybe giving her the slight cold shoulder is something that you can live with, but leaving her behind is something that would haunt you, so you quickly turn back around on your heels and sprint towards her.

She catches you running at her as she remains stunned on the ground and her eyes brighten before she pushes herself up and then runs at you.

“Come on!” You yell at her. “Come on!”

Ellie quickens her pace as best as she can, and just as you throw your hand out to reach for hers suddenly an explosion goes off at your side, and the force throws you both to the ground.

“Fuck,” you cough out seconds later, and flutter your eyes open, catching a bright raging light now brighten the street. “Fuck.” You snap your head up and see Ellie moving slightly. That fills you with relief over the fact that she isn’t badly hurt. Or at least that’s what it seems like.

“Ellie,” you call out between pants. “Ellie, are you—”

Before you can finish your question though, hands get slapped around your arms and begin to yank off the ground.

“Come on, come on,” someone muffles.

You snap your head back in a panic, but thankfully only see Henry.

“You’re not hurt?” He asks.

You shake your head and get up to your feet. “No, no, I’m okay. Go, help Ellie.”

Henry nods and leaves your side to run to Ellie while you run to Sam behind a car.

“Are you okay?” Sam immediately signs to you worringly once you’re ducked close to him.

You nod quickly and redirect his question. “You okay?”

Sam nods, and both of your gazes lift as Henry and Ellie join you ducked behind the car.

“You okay?” You ask Ellie as she fixes herself between Sam and you.

She nods and mumbles, “yeah.”

Multiple footsteps now step closer, and commands get thrown out that make you stiffen. “He’s up there! Two and two! Around the back, take him out!”

“Fuck!” You hiss. There’s no way to take them out without getting caught or leaving yourself vulnerable. Fuck.

“Dead end, Henry!” You hear a woman shout—Kathleen most likely. “Gonna step out? Save us some time?”

Henry of course doesn’t answer, so Kathleen continues.

“No? That’s alright. Doesn’t matter.”

You rest your head against the car and try to think of some plan to get out of this position. Yet, Henry then interjects. “I’ll come out!”

You quickly snap your head over to him and shake it in protest. “No,” you whisper. “No, Henry no.”

Said man meets your gaze and lets his eyes linger on you. “Just let the girl and kids go!” He shouts.

You keep shaking your head in hopes he’d change his mind.

“No,” Kathleen retorts. “Sorry. The little girl is with the man who killed Bryan. And Sam, and the other girl, well they’re with you.”

You shift your eyes away and scoff.

What the fuck?! What the fuck is her problem? Wanting to kill you, you understand, but the kids?

“You don’t understand!” Henry rebuttals.

But Kathleen doesn’t listen. “But I do,” she counters. “I know why you did what you did. But did you ever stop to think that maybe he was supposed to die?”

What the hell?

You shake your head and curl your lip in anger and disgust.

“He’s just a fucking kid!” Henry yells back.

“Well, kids die, Henry,” Kathleen says without an ounce of sympathy in her tone. “They die all the time. You think the whole world revolves around him? That he’s worth everything? Well, this is what happens when you fuck with fate.”

“Get ready to take him and run,” Henry blurts at you quietly.

You look over at him and see him looking at you. “No,” you rebuttal. “No.”

“Y/N,” he insists. “Yes.”

You try to look angry at his stupid choice, but instead you look hurt.

“Henry,” you whisper, but he then cups your cheek and cuts you off.

“Please. Do it.”

You stare into his eyes and want to argue, you want to yell at him for wanting to risk his life like this, for wanting you to take Sam away without leaving with him, but…you don’t. You trust him and understand this one need, you give in for him, for the love you already harbor.

“Fine,” you whisper and look over at Sam, noticing Ellie take his hand for you.

“It’s time, Henry,” Kathleen interjects. “Enough!”

You look back at Henry and meet his gaze, seeing him hesitate for a few seconds. So you reach for his trembling hand and give it a gentle squeeze. He proceeds to let his eyes linger in your hurt gaze for a moment longer before he averts his gaze, and puts his head back to pant and then whisper to himself, “okay,” before he stands up and raises his hands while he slowly steps towards the aggressor.

“It ends the way it ends,” Kathleen says after a few seconds of silence, and cocks her gun before she shouts another command. “Grab the girl he’s with too, I want him to see her die.”

You gasp and freeze since you know she only means you.

“No!” Henry shouts. “Wait, no! Not her! She had nothing to do with it! It was just me!”

Footsteps begin to approach, and your heart begins to race, your hands begin to shake, but you put on a brave face and roll your eyes to the side to glare at the rugged man approaching you.

“Touch them and I’ll kill you,” you grimace.

The man tries to grab you, but you stand up by yourself and step away from him. “Don’t you dare,” you snap and raise your hands.

“Come on,” the man orders and points the gun forward.

“No,” Kathleen adds now as you get forced to stand by Henry. “She might have not had anything to do with it, but you care about her.”

You drift your eyes to Henry, and end up meeting his angry and worried gaze.

“It’s okay,” you mouth to him with an assuring look and smile. “It’s okay.” You drift your gaze back to Kathleen and shoot her an unbothered glare.

There’s only one man next to you, the others are standing a bit too far to react too fast. They wouldn’t let one of their own die would they? They cared so much about the one person your dad killed, so….

Quickly before anyone can react to you, you fist your left hand, and quickly swing your fist up to punch the man’s forearm to make his aim fall from your head.

“Wait!” you hear Kathleen yell as guns point at you now.

You then quickly spin around and ram your fist in his throat to leave him incapacitated while you snatch his gun from him, and then use your foot to swing it under him to sweep him off the floor.

When the guy hits the ground you instantly point his gun at his head, and step on the back of his hand before slowly glaring up at Kathleen.

She looks stunned, so you take this time to look over at Henry, catching his own shocked and awed look.

“Come close and I’ll shoot him,” you threaten all of them. “Your revenge can’t mean more than your man’s life now does it?” You taunt Kathleen with a sly smirk.

Kathleen moves her gun to point at you and parts her lips to say something, but she then cuts herself off as the sound of rubble and creaking metal steals everyone’s attention, including Henry’s and yours.

At first it doesn’t seem like much, just the ground beneath the truck crumbling due to the explosion. But it’s from that same hole that the truck falls into that lets out the sound of distant groaning and growling. Infected….

You remove your foot off the man under you and help up so he can run away. You then snap your head over to Henry, and he meets your gaze to share a knowing look since no one can deny the sounds.

Yet before either of you can run away dozens, no, hundreds of infected climb out from the ground and don’t waste a second to charge at everyone that is formed in front of the hole. They all try to shoot at the runners and the clickers that charge at them, but there’s too many, too many overwhelm them immediately—It’s so many of them climbing out of the ground.

You’ve seen hordes before, you’ve run from dozens of infected before, but never like this, never from one’s running out of a fire pit as if they were spawn out of hell.

The sight freezes you out of fear, leaves you vulnerable, until Henry runs at you now that the men focused their attention away from him and you, and breaks you from your stupor.

“Come on!” He yells, and you both run to the kids still ducked behind the car.

“You have my gun, I have the man’s,” you tell Henry as you duck and hide with the kids. “Take Sam and go, I’ll take Ellie and be right behind you.”

Shooters approach the car you’re hidden behind and begin shooting at infected climbing on the car. More fall at your side as bullets come from the house where your dad is in. And before long, as more infected approach, you all bolt away from behind the car to run to your dad.

However, more infected swarm the area and get in your way, so you lose sight of Henry and Sam quickly as they don’t stop running. You on the other hand use the man’s gun and shoot at the clickers and runners that charge at Ellie and you.

“Go!” You yell at Ellie. “Go, I have you covered!”

Ellie runs on ahead, and you kill any threats that are near her. Once there’s no infected ahead of you, you follow after Ellie as she runs towards a van nearby that has a window slightly opened.

A clicker closeby hears her running footsteps however and tries to charge at her, but you quickly stop in your steps to shoot it and then move the aim to shoot the other infected that can be a possible threat.

“I’ll open the door for you!” Ellie yells back as she approaches the car.

You watch her get inside through the window, and immediately more infected try to reach her through the windows; they pound and claw. You clear as many of them as you can until your bullets run out and you have no choice but to throw the gun out and use your own rifle.

Yet that has few bullets in it too, luckily your dad helps you take out as many as he can around the car and you, while Ellie crawls to the door to try and open it for you from the inside. And when you turn to grab the door handle, suddenly a stalker tackles you down to the ground.

“Oof.” You breathe out as you slam to the ground, and end up losing your gun.

The stalker tries to bite down at you, but you quickly throw your head to the side, and throw your hands up to keep it away. You want to kick it back and use your knife, but then a bullet goes through its head and it falls limb, letting you crawl back away from its corpse. You then look up at the window and give your dad a thankful nod.

He nods back, so after that, before more infected come and swarm you, you get up and find your gun first, before you face the car to get Ellie.

Neverthless, at that moment as you turn you notice a different kind of infected. It’s larger than others, tall, and plump. It has fungus coming out of its head like a clicker, but this one also has fungus growing out of its entire body. It’s…terrifying. It’s fucking horrifying, but you don’t freeze this time, you can’t. You just push its presence to the back of your head and face the car again. That’s when you see a child clicker climb in the same car Ellie is hiding in.

You know your dad has you covered from any infected around you, so you quickly throw the door open and hastily help Ellie out of the car as the clicker flips over the seats to try and reach her.

“Come on!” You urge her after you close the car door. “We’re almost there!” You grab her wrist to run towards your dad together, but she quickly stops you and points out.

“It’s Sam and Henry!”

You follow where she points to, and see the both of them under a car trying to kick away the clickers that are trying to grab them. However, there’s too many infected in your way, too many for you and Ellie to take down without getting swarmed….

Wait! That’s right...

You look up at your dad at the same time Ellie does, and you both speechlessly ask him to cover you with your looks alone.

He’s hesitant at first, but he gives you both an assuring nod, letting you both then run towards Henry and Sam.

“You help Sam, I’ll get the one on Henry!” You tell Ellie as you maneuver past bodies of the infected your dad was killing in your path.

“Okay, yeah!” She replies through pants.

You narrow your eyes on the clicker that has Henry by his feet, ignoring the car that races past behind you and quickening your pace to get closer.

Just as you approach Henry, the clicker drags him out of hiding, it wants to bite him, but you quickly lift your rifle and shoot it right in its head, killing it.

“Come on,” you tell Henry urgently as you help him to his feet. “You’re okay,” you assure him before you turn on your heels, noticing Ellie managed to get the clicker off Sam, but she can’t stab her knife deep enough to kill it. So you lift your gun and help her kill it, letting her then help Sam off the ground.

“Go, go!” You yell at everyone.

Quickly, before more infected can come towards you, you all bolt towards the house your dad is inside of. You climb up the yard hand in hand with Henry, you’re close to getting out, but then Kathleen stops you all.

“Stop!”

Henry pushes you all back behind him to block you all from her gun, but you still raise your rifle to try and use your last bullet on her.

Albeit that’s when you notice the child clicker from before sneaking up from behind her, and lower your gun instead. Kathleen blinks in confusion, and follows everyone’s line of gaze. But, she notices the clicker too late and it tackles her to the ground before she can react.

It hits her repeatedly, and overpowers her, all she can do is scream.

As bad as she was, that fate is still horrible.

“This way now!” You hear your dad yell, breaking everyone from their shock. You then look over at him in shock and watch him pushing Ellie and Sam towards the bridge just behind the houses.

“Move!” He yells and turns you around so you can keep moving behind Henry. He follows last, making sure no one or nothing follows you from the bloodbath that was now the cul-de-sac.

——

*LATER*

“Pew…pew. As the Raven 01 approaches the red planet….”

You put the paper your food was wrapped in down and drag your feet back against your chest to continue listening to Ellie reading with Sam.

Compared to all the terrified screams, all the infected growling and groaning, all the gunshots, and burning flames that had filled your ears on your way to the motel, listening to her read in the silence of night was calming and peaceful.

“You think they’ll be okay?” Henry asks out loud, breaking the silence that was between him, your dad and you.

“Yeah,” your dad nods. “I think.”

You hug your legs and look over at him as he continues.

“It’s easier when you’re a kid anyway….” He pauses and glances at you before looking at Henry. “You don’t have anybody else relying on you. That’s the hard part.”

Being scared isn’t easy, not knowing how to help because you’re young isn't easy, but he’s also right.

“Well,” Henry interjects. “I guess we’re doing a good job then.”

Your dad nods softly in agreement, and you can’t help but smile down at your knees since they seem to be getting along more now.

“What’s that comic book say?” Your dad asks. “Endure and survive?”

You lift your gaze to look at the Savage Starlight comic book Sam and Ellie are reading, and scoff softly before you nod. “Endure and survive,” you repeat.

“That shits redundant,” Henry retorts, making you smile in amusement.

“Yeah,” your dad agrees. “It’s not great.”

You shake your head and laugh softly. “No.”

Savage Starlight was a comic book you often saw lying around, but you never got into them so much. You always enjoyed more of uh…romance, some horror, thrillers, comedy, and fantasy.

“Look, Henry,” you hear your dad continue, making you snap your eyes to him and sit up as you’re filled with curiosity. “I don’t know exactly how I’m gettin’ to Wyoming. I’m probably walkin’. But you know if you want to.”

Your smile grows wider, and your gaze grows softer as you understand your fathers invitation to Henry.

“Yeah,” Henry agrees. “Yeah. Yeah, I think it’d be nice for Sam to have a friend. I’ll tell him in the morning. New day, new start.”

You’re filled with joy now, and that fear of rejection washes away….

At least you hope your dad is also referring to you.

“What about me?” You interject to double check. Even if you might know the answer.

Your dads eyes snap to you and he scoffs before he retorts. “How do you think we’re getting there?”

You smirk and then glance at Henry sitting on a table beside you to share a soft smile with him.

“I don’t why you had to ask,” your dad mumbles.

You then look at the kids, and notice Sam fiddling with the pendant you had given him.

“Just makin’ sure,” you say and drag your legs down. “Maybe y’all wanted to leave me behind….” Wait…you catch that comment the moment it comes out. It’s wrong…it seems like a jab directed to your dad, but you didn’t mean it that way.

You snap your eyes over to him in hopes he didn’t take it that way, but you can’t tell, he’s looking away, his lips are formed in the same serious line. Fuck. Fuck….

Let’s just hope he didn’t take it badly.

You swallow thickly and look ahead, noticing Henry in the room with the kids, and Sam still holding the pendant. So choosing to just brush off your concern so as to not overthink about it, you get up and walk in the room, seeing Sam walk to the other bed now.

“Goodnight,” you sign to him as he notices you walk in.

He offers you a faint smile and redirects your comment. “Goodnight.”

Henry walks back in the room, and before you can follow him you check on Sam since he was holding the pendant. “Are you feeling okay?” You question him.

Sam nods in assurance, but you can notice his frown and a…sad look in his eyes.

“Are you sure?” You press.

Sam nods again. Perhaps it was just the events of tonight then.

“Okay,” you continue to sign to him. “No story tonight?”

Sam shakes his head. “Tomorrow,” he signs back.

You smile and nod in agreement. “Sounds good,” you sign. “Goodnight.”

Sam offers you a faint smile as a response, and before you can leave the room you glance over at Ellie and offer her a very faint smile that’s a bit forced. Maybe she’ll grow on you soon enough. Once your dad explains why they’re traveling together. Hopefully.

Anyway, once you close the room door behind you, rather than sitting back down, and since there was no other room in this curtain room you’re camping in. And since you don’t want your dad hearing your conversation with Henry, you meet your partner's gaze and point to the exit.

Henry doesn’t seem to understand though, so you point to the door again. But nothing.

You roll your eyes and just break the silence. “I’m going to get some fresh air before bed.” You nod slowly, and before anyone can say anything you make sure you have your knife with you before you walk over to the door, and push the table that’s blocking the exit to the side before walking out. Hopefully, Henry understands, and hopefully your dad doesn’t walk out. As funny as that would be, it’s not who you want to talk to.

Regardless, as you wait you lean against the railing and look up at the shining stars painted on the night sky. You smile up at them and watch them twinkle. The door opens, and you quickly peer back, seeing Henry walk out. Thankfully.

“Hey,” you greet him in a whisper.

He closes the door and walks to your side first before returning a greeting. “Hey.”

You look back at the sky and continue to watch the stars. “You know there’s a way to navigate around using the stars.” You share with him.

Henry hums. “I didn’t know,” he says. “Do you know how to?”

You nod and drop your gaze to look at him, noticing he was already looking at you. “Yeah, I do,” you admit.

Henry smiles and scoffs. “Of course you do.”

You laugh softly. “Well it’s kind of convient you know, very helpful..”

“Is that why you like to stare at them all the time?” He asks.

You let out a small breath and shake your head. “No. I just like to watch them, it’s fascinating really; space, all of it.”

Henry hums and averts his gaze, he grabs the rusted railing and brings a short silence.

You notice his smile faltering, so you quickly probe. “What is it?”

Henry gently hits the wood and lifts his gaze to meet yours. “Thank you,” he says. Again. “What you did back there, to that guy…” he swallows thickly and goes shy. “No one has ever done that before. You know usually when things go down like that people scatter to protect themselves…I’m guilty of that, but you…” he pauses and his eyes soften, whilst you now feel caught by surprise. “…you stuck around all three times,” Henry continues. “You shouldn't have, but you did, and you saved me and Sam. Thank you.”

Your smile widens and trembles, and your heart races inside your chest, but you grab his hand and offer him a soft look. “You were worth it,” you redirect sweetly. “All of it. And when it’s worth it there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to protect the ones I love.”

Henry looks caught off guard for a few seconds, but he quickly manages to shoot you a smile before he cups your cheek to pull you in for a kiss. A sweet and passionate one that makes you wrap your arms around his neck. That lets you move in sync with another, and makes you press yourself against the wall next to the door.

Henry seems to be taken back by your passion, but he just smiles and goes with it, letting himself get swept up by you. The only reason you pull back is to catch your breath.

“You know I think you were right,” he says between pants. “I think your dad—”

“Please,” you cut him off and press your finger against his lips. “Don’t talk about my dad,” you whisper and giggle. “Not right now.”

Henry snorts and nods. “Right,” he mumbles, letting you drop your hand back to your side—“but we should get some sleep, I imagine we have a long day of walking tomorrow.”

You smile sweetly and lean in to whisper against his lips. “Yeah I know, but why not stay out here a while longer, hm? Maybe find a more discreet place to go take this further.”

Henry gapes and blinks rapidly. “I,” he breathes out and shakes his head.

You grin and cup his jaw. “It’s okay if you don’t want to,” you assure him. “I’m fine just being with you here.”

Henry shakes his head again and quickly throws out his response, “No I want to, I do. Do you?”

You grin softly and press your hand against his chest, feeling his heart racing.

“Don’t worry,” you assure him as you hold his gaze. “You’ll be okay. You’re with me.” You pull back, and drop your hand to your side to grab his, and pull him down the stairs with you. “Come on!” You grin happily.

——

*THE NEXT DAY*

“Sarah,” you whisper and slowly walk further inside her dark room.

She hums and shifts on her bed. “Hm?”

“I'm scared,” you whisper. “There’s something in my room.”

Her bed creaks and thanks to the moonlight reflecting inside through her window by her bed, you see her sitting up and rubbing her eyes. “Okay,” she mumbles and slides over to the other side of her bed. “Come on.”

You smile with relief and run over to the bed to climb on and lay beside her.

“What was in your room?” She asks as she lays her head back down on the pillow.

You pull the blankets over you and flip to your side to face her. “A…monster, I think.”

She smiles weakly and wraps her arm around you. “Maybe you just heard dad snoring.” She mumbles.

You sigh unsurely and watch her close her eyes to try and drift back to sleep.

“Do you want me to tell you a story?” She asks quietly.

You perk up and grin softly. “Just one,” you agree.

“Okay, well—”

“Ahh! Ahhh!”

Suddenly the dream you were having is interrupted coldly by the sound of distressed yelling that makes you gasp, and sit right up out of instinct.

However, it’s as you sit up that the door is slammed open and Ellie is thrown to the floor by….by Sam growling, groaning, and snapping his teeth as he tries to claw at her. She tries to push him off, but she can’t fight him. Or she really doesn’t want to…

But why?

Why?

Why is he acting so violent, why is he trying to bite her? Why is making those noises?

You sit there wide eyed, frozen by horrifying fear that inside, deep inside your heart you understand why it grows so furiously. You can identify what those sounds coming out of Sam mean, you’ve heard them what feels like all your life. You know…But you don’t want to accept it. You don’t want to accept his sudden fate.

He’s so young, so innocent, so sweet and kind. It can’t…it can’t be true. It can’t be happening again…

He can’t…

“Nope, nope, nope,” you hear Henry repeat, and when you look up you see him on his feet, pointing your dads own gun at him as he slowly stands up.

“Joel!” Ellie cries out.

Sam is going to bite her…he’s going to bite her…

You try to reach for your own knife since you know you’re out of bullets. You want to help her before it takes her too…you want to help your dad and Henry, but you can’t move a muscle, your fear paralyzes you as well as your denial.

You can only keep watching…just like when…Sarah died. You can only watch.

Henry shoots at your dad, you can hear the bullet, and his yell even after you cover your ears. You can feel it carve the ground, but that still doesn’t make you move.

“Joel!” Ellie cries again as Sam doesn’t stop.

He’s going to bite her. Sam he’s…

And suddenly there’s another gunshot, but this time rather than feeling it hit the ground, you hear a thump, and then silence. Deafening silence.

Finally as Sam stays still on the floor, you slowly get up and take a step towards him. You notice the dark blood spilling out and staining the ground, you still wait…You wait for him to get up. He has to. It can’t be happening again…he couldn’t have turned. He has to wake up.

You slowly put your hands down. “Sam?” You call out quietly even though you know he wouldn't have heard you either way, it’s just a desperate attempt.

“Ellie,” you hear your dad call as the girl sits there in disbelief at what just happened. “Are you okay?” You hear him ask her.

You worry if she’s bit, you want to ask if she’s okay too, but all you can focus on is Sam, you wait if he’ll move at least his chest to show he’s breathing.

Your dad tries to move toward Ellie, but he comes to a quick stop as Henry points his gun at him. He’s just shocked, that’s it.

Thinking he won’t do anything to you, you take another step towards Sam.

However, that's when you hear an abrupt stop. “No…don’t.”

You snap your gleaming eyes towards Henry, and see him pointing his gun at you now. Your dad quickly notices his new aim, and slowly puts his arm across you to try and shield you.

Henry’s just shocked. He’s just…shocked.

“Easy, easy, easy,” your dad tries to calm Henry down whilst he puts his hands out to try and grab the gun in Henry’s hand.

“Henry,” you call out quietly.

Said man's eyes drift to you, and tears immediately fill his eyes at the sight of you. “What did I do?” He asks you.

You try to tell him that he helped Ellie, that his brother was going to hurt her, but you can’t…you can’t muster a single word since you’re still in denial yourself.

“What did I do?” Henry asks again and keeps his gun pointed at you. “What-what-what did I do?” His eyes drift to his brother still on the floor, and you follow his line of gaze, realizing now—no, accepting at that moment as he lay still, as more blood spilled out of him, that Sam was gone.

It hits you like a bullet to the flesh, so suddenly. The realization shakes your entire core, making that painful anguish that you had pushed back bust through that shield of denial.

He’s gone. Sam’s gone. He was infected and now he’s gone.

“Sam?” The sound of Henry’s broken voice snaps your watery gaze back to him.

“Henry, gimme the gun?” Your dad pleads softly.

“Henry,” you call out quietly through tears. “Henry, please.”

Said man’s eyes drift to you and your dad, but he then focuses solely on you.

“Gimme the gun,” your dad continues to say. “Gimme the gun.”

“Henry,” you interject in a brittle voice, and take a step towards him to try and take the gun. “Just give me the gun, okay? Let’s talk.”

Henry holds your gaze for a moment and blinks before looking at Sam again. And finally he begins to lower his hand.

You try to encourage him, “yeah just—” but you cut yourself off immedietly as you see him move his hand to now point the gun at himself instead. You know what he intends to do, you yell at him to stop, but a gunshot goes off, causing you to quickly cover your ears. Yet you still hear a loud thump hit the floor.

Now…you just stand there, looking at the now empty space where Henry had one stood. You stand there frozen and quiet. You stand there panting, and with dry eyes.

Your dad stands before you, he talks to you, you see his mouth moving, but you don’t register his muffles that go through your covered ears because you can’t accept this now. If you keep looking at the wall, it’s like nothing ever happened. If you keep your eyes on the wall you won’t have to accept it, if you stand here time will stop….

You hoped anyway. You wished.

“Y/N! Look at me, baby,” you hear your dad yell at you, making you snap your eyes to him before you slowly drift your eyes down to see….

Oh god.

Oh god….

You drop your hands from your ears, and gasp as it feels like the air in your lungs is knocked out of you at the sight of his lifeless body, at the feeling of realization slamming into you, piercing your very heart now and shattering it and your entire being.

Henry’s gone. He’s gone just like Sam. They’re both gone….Henry’s gone….

But maybe…

“Henry?” You call out desperately as you watch him, hoping he’ll wake up. “Henry?” You call out again and step away from your dad to walk to Henry. “Henry, please,” your voice quivers as he remains unresponsive.

“Henry,” you mewl and fall on your knees beside him, on the pool of blood that now surrounds his upper body. “Henry.” You whisper and slowly reach for him to turn him face up. That’s when you see his lifeless eyes, the blood that now stains his face, and the tear stains on his cheeks. And it hits you again, but now it’s more powerful, more painful.

“No,” you cry and shake your head. “No, please Henry,” you sob and cradle his face for a moment before you cradle his body. “No, no….” You drop your forehead on his and shakily gasp for air as you can’t stop crying. “Please…please…someone help me….Henry…don’t do this to me, please.”

A hand falls on your shoulders, making you gasp and look back.

“Y/N,” your dad whispers.

“Daddy,” you mutter, “you have to help me. Please. Please.”

“Oh baby…”

You shake your head as he cradles your face in his hands.

“Dad,” you cry out desperately. “Please!”

He shakes his head, and tears fill his eyes only because he sees the heartbreak in your eyes as you hold your partner's dead body in your arms.

“He’s gone,” your dad says.

No.

No.

No…

You pull your face away from your dads hold to look back at Henry, and lay your head on his chest.

He’s gone and there’s nothing you can do about it. Again. Someone else is gone and you can’t do anything about it. So you close your eyes and cry against him out of defeat, heartbreak, and agony.

“We can bury them,” your dad says softly. “Come on.”

Slowly he takes his body from you, and you let him, and just sit there. He takes Sam’s body soon thereafter, you can’t tell when, time just loses meaning, it all blends together.

Eventually you make it outside to where your dad and Ellie had buried Henry and Sam. You don’t know how, or when exactly you walked out, but feel the chilly breeze of the morning hit you, you feel the brightness burn your retinas for a moment until you grow accustomed to the brightness.

You see them no longer, only dirt over two unmarked graves. You feel only tears roll down your cheeks, and that agony in your heart as you realize you’ll never see them again, you won’t go to Jackson together.

You sit between their graves and just lose your gaze on the grass brushing against the wind. You sit there cold and hopeless. You sit there even as Ellie puts Sam’s board down on his grave, as you hear her speak to your dad once she’s up and behind you.

“Which ways west?” She asks.

There’s silence before there’s retreating footsteps. You were moving on, you had to, there was no one else to wait for now, there was no one else to go with now.

“Y/N,” your dad breaks the silence. “I have to tell you something…”

You keep your eyes lost on the grass, and wait for him to continue.

“Ellie…she’s immune…”

Is this some joke? Some sick fucking joke?

You gasp and peer at him over your shoulder to shoot him a disgusted glare.

“Dont,” you croak because of all of your crying. “Don’t fucking joke.”

He stands there with a serious, deadpanned look on his face. “I’m not,” he assures you. “It’s true, I saw her get bit and she didn’t turn. Do you really think I would joke about that?”

You blink in disbelief and look back at the grass ahead of you.

Joining the fireflies built a hope in you that maybe there was a chance for the world to get better. It was hard not to believe what they believed in, for a hope for humanity. A hope that could’ve saved so many lost friends…that could’ve saved Sam. So hearing this now coming out of your dads lips isn’t completely unbelievable, not to you.

“That’s why I need to take her to your uncle Tommy,” he continues. “So he can take her to the Fireflies.”

So he? He?

As if a bucket of cold water had just been dumped on you, now you’re hit with a cold reminder, your anger towards your father. Those words he just spoke trigger it, the heartbreak you bear now only fuels it, blinding you with rage.

“So what?” You scoff, and stand up to spin around and face him with that burning anger in your watery eyes. “You’re going to dump another one of your burdens on uncle Tommy? Just like you did me?”

Your dad shakes his head and mutters out, “you’re just upset. Let’s go, we can talk about it later.”

You shake your head and step towards him to continue. “I have every right to be upset! I have every right to be mad at you, you left me,” you whisper and feel angry tears now roll down your cheeks. “You…you!” You cry out and hit his chest.

“Y/N,” he mutters and averts his gaze.

You swallow back the thick lump that grows in your throat and spat back. “Why? Hm? All I ever did was love you, even if you were mean—”

“I kept you alive,” he cuts you off bluntly with his eyes barely on you.

“Yes,” you scoff. “But I still needed my dad….” Your voice quivers. “And…you still left…Why? W-was it because I…was never good enough for you? I’m sorry….I’m sorry I wasn’t the perfect daughter, I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough then. I’m sorry I wasn’t worthy enough for you to stay with me, for you to take me with you.” You sniffle and wipe away your tears. “I'm sorry I wasn't important enough for you to call me throughout all those years. I waited,“ you mumble. “I did. But no.” You shake your head and wipe your tears away.

“I just hope you don’t hurt that girl the same you did me,” you continue. “I hope she’s the daughter I never was for you.” You scoff and hit your hands against your thighs.

“No, don’t say that,” he interjects. “And don’t pit your anger against her.”

You let out a shaky sigh and tilt your head down slightly as you keep your eyes on him. “I’ll take you to uncle Tommy,” you add bluntly. “But that’s it. I’m done with you after that.” You shove past him and pick up your backpack and rifle off the floor. You make it to the street but stop to add one more thing as you see Ellie a few feet away waiting for you and your dad to catch up.

“I won’t pit my anger against her. I just hope you do better.”

——

*A MONTH LATER*

It was quiet. Not outside; you can hear the birds chirping their morning song as the sun slowly rises, you can hear Ellie shuffling on the ground restlessly. It’s quiet inside your mind.

At first, those first few days after, your mind raced with different possibilities, denial, different outcomes…hopes. It was loud with anger, but now it’s quiet. Now as you hold the cold gold sun pin in your fingers your mind is just absolutely quiet, all there is is a picture of him, Henry, in your head.

There’s a coldness in your heart. Another gap missing that he and Sam left. It makes those nights you had to sleep, sleepless, restless. Like now. Your dad let you sleep, but you couldn’t keep your eyes closed, you couldn’t get that….that scene of a month ago out of your head. Everytime you close your eyes you see Henry and Sam, see them lying on the ground with blood around them. Their deaths replay in your head over and over again until you open your eyes. So it’s easier just to stay awake and study the sun pin in the silence….

Then again it’s not so quiet outside….Ellie keeps moving. You flip to your other side and the first thing that you notice is your dad passed out…

What a damn good watchman. Old man.

Pft.

You drift your eyes across from you and see Ellie has her back turned to you. She’s still for like a minute before she moves again.

Maybe she’s thinking about them too? Because she can’t be asleep with all that moving.

You haven’t talked to her since it happened—no, lies you did but it was just like a few words, “do you want some of my food?” “Do you want to help me keep watch?”. She was always eager for both, but beside that nothing else was said. And you do know what grief is, you know how it feels, she may not have known them long, but Sam and her still bonded, their deaths were still…impactful…

It’s not like your dad has talked about it anyway. It’s not like he would.

“Hey,” you whisper and stretch your foot out to tap her. “Are you awake?”

There’s a second of silence before Ellie slowly looks back and looks a bit disbelieved. “Yes,” she mutters.

You spare one glance at your dad to make sure he’s still sleeping before you continue. “Do you want to go for a walk? He passed out.”

Ellie pulls down her sweater and looks down to see for herself before she meets your gaze and answers hesitantly. “Sure.”

You smile softly and tuck the pin in your pocket before you get up, and very carefully grab your backpack and gun off the ground. Ellie grabs her gun and leaves her backpack where it is. As you head out she just does one more double take to make sure your dad is still sleeping, before she runs over to catch up to you heading to the windmill that’s across the small abandoned farmhouse you were camping at for the night.

“So,” Ellie rolls out with a slow head nod. “Can I hold your gun?”

You hold onto your backpack strap and look over at her with slight curiosity. “Do you know how to use it?” You ask her.

Ellie shakes her head. “I can be taught though.”

You hum and look back at the windmill you're walking to and give her a proposition. “How about you can keep watch through the scope. Feel the weight first.”

“It’s better than nothing,” she groans.

You scoff softly in amusement and open the wooden door to let her walk in first, before you close the door and follow her up the creaky wooden stairs against the wall, until you reach a platform that’s put against the window that overlooks what was once a secluded farm.

“Here,” you interject, and put your gun down to sit on your knees so you can take off your poncho and lay it on the dirty ground. “You can sit there.” You then proceed to take off your jacket and lay it over your spot. “And I’ll sit here.” You mumble and sit back down.

Ellie looks down and hesitates. “We’re already dirty anyway.”

You shrug. “But now you won’t be cold, and you’ll be comfy.” You click your tongue.

Ellie spares you a quick glance before she sits, she wants to reach for your gun, but she suddenly stops and goes wide eyed.

“Oh my god,” she gasps and crawls closer to you. “You have tattoos! No way!” She grins and studies the tattoos on your arm. “That’s so cool.”

You smile softly, and turn your body so she can see the crescent moon tattoo shaped from curved lines; it almost looks like it was a smoke moon. She then hovers her fingers over the small stars that are scattered around the area, and then looks down at the falling angel woman. But lastly she takes her time on one in particular, a small one on your forearm.

“What’s this?” She asks and points to it.

You look down and giggle. “What did you think it is?”

Ellie scoffs and smirks. “A dick?”

You smirk. “It’s supposed to be a middle finger. My uncle Tommy and I got drunk for my 21st birthday. He wanted to give me a tattoo so he drew a hand giving the middle finger, but he, uh,” you snort. “Failed, so now I will always have a little dick tattoo.”

Ellie snickers and sits back down with your rifle in hand.

You move your arm and twist your body to show her the back tattoo. “I also have this one.” You point out.

Ellie shifts back around, and you give her a few seconds before you turn to sit back.

“That’s so cool!” She says with a smile. “I want one.”

You glance over the golden grass and smile softly. “My friend, she does tattoos. Perhaps when you’re older she can do something on you. Just don’t get it while drunk.”

“Why stars and a moon?” Ellie probes.

You shrug softly. “I liked it, and I like the Galaxy, the moon, everything.”

Ellie turns her head, and you see a wider smile. “Really? That's nice, I do too. Or more the aspect of going to space.”

You grin and look at her. “Really? That’d be cool. Like, uh,” you snap your fingers until you remember the name. “Like Sally Ride.”

Ellie's eyes go wider. “Yes!” She exclaims. “Exactly like her! Like if I could choose a way to die, I would die up there in space, after I flew up there of course.”

“Of course,” you mumble and stare up at the sweet colored sky as the sun slowly overtakes the night sky. “I mean it would be a very cool way to die. No oxygen, but a view of earth and the vacuum of space.”

Ellie follows your line of gaze and smiles softly as she nods slowly. “Yeah,” she whispers.

Silence follows after that. Deafening, but peaceful silence.

Yet that peace soon begins to turn to gloom the more the sun rises and you remember why you’re here.

“Do you,” you interject, but pause to look down at your fingers not covered by your gloves. “Do you want to talk about what happened last month?” You can’t even mention their names. Not yet. Not without it aching.

Ellie drops her gaze to focus on the fields of grass, and lets out a deep exhale before she shakes her head. “No…not really. Not yet.”

You hum softly. “That’s alright,” you assure her. “Well I’m here, you know, 24/7. If you want to talk.”

It may not be a lot to offer, but it’s those very words that meant a lot to you when you were told them by your uncle, Maria, or your friends. Yes, you haven’t been the most welcoming, or the nicest person with her, but at first you were slightly jealous, then you were too sad, but after that argument with your dad that jealousy had faded. Call it pettiness or what not, but you’re here now, and hope that at least she knows she can talk about her feelings with you and not have to hide them or brush them off.

He’d do that.

Nevertheless, there’s a brief moment of quiet before Ellie mutters in a serious tone. “Here in this windmill? Because that’s sort of inconvenient.”

You snort and break into a chuckle for the first time in a month. “You know what I meant fucker,” you mutter between laughs.

Ellie smiles proudly and nods.

Silence comes back as you keep watch, your smiles fade, but she soon interrupts. “You know I did have this problem last night actually.”

Your brows slowly furrow and you look at her with concern.

“I just stayed up all night wondering where the sun went…then it dawned on me.”

Your face slowly falls, and she looks over at you with a very proud smile. You let a second pass before you burst out laughing at her joke. She soon joins in and you’re both too lost laughing until your stomachs hurt.

When you’ve somewhat calmed down you add one you remember. “Okay, okay.” You clear your throat. “I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra…it was a booby trap.” You smirk.

Ellie shakes her head and laughs harder. “That was stupid.”

You nod and once again begin to laugh along with her, not realizing in that moment as you were both distracted that your dad was now inside the windmill lost listening in to the both of you.

When your laughs die down you take advantage of this moment and pull your backpack to your lap to unzip it, and pull out an additional Walkman. “I feel like you’ll enjoy this,” you tell her and then search your backpack for a specific cassette.

Ellie slowly puts down the rifle and watches you pull out a small plastic box.

“The Smiths,” you mention and open the box to insert the cassette. “Very good band.” You smile and hand her the Walkman. “Listen to it when you can, or when you can’t sleep. Just don’t lose the cassette ‘kay? It’s my friends.”

Ellie hesitantly takes the Walkman and headphones. “Are you sure?” She asks quietly.

You nod. “I have my own. I had that as a spare, but you can keep it. When you’re done with that album, let me know, I can give you more music to listen to while we find more.”

Ellie slowly smiles softly, and meets your gaze. “Thanks.” She whispers.

You offer her a smile, and don’t realize that for that moment sharing your music as Sarah once did with you, laughing with Ellie felt the best you’ve felt in a long time; you didn’t feel sad, or angry. You felt good, at peace, and a sense of familiarity you haven’t felt in years.

——

*2 MONTHS LATER*

Winter has fully embraced the earth, providing some sense of what month it can be. Between Kansas City and here you’ve lost track of the days. You know with every feeling in you that Jackson is only a couple days out.

Seeing Maria, your uncle Tommy, your friends, and your house is only a couple days out. Finally!

“You don’t seriously believe them,” Ellie remarks as she stomps out of the cabin of this old couple living a quiet life in the middle of nowhere.

Which honestly isn’t half bad. You only wish to grow old like them and live with….with someone…

“They’ve lived here a long time,” your dad rebuttals as he leads the way off the property. He then stops and looks back as he hears only one pair of footsteps following him.

You then proceed to stop too and glance back, catching Ellie robbing one of the rabbits that the man that had found you killed.

“Put that back,” he tells her and then continues to lead the way.

“What about you, y/n, I mean you’ve lived around here,” Ellie pulls you into the conversation.

You scoff softly and wait for her to catch up. “Well all I’ll say is that it’s a bunch of superstition, okay?” You tell her without giving away too much of what awaits beyond the River. “There’s no River of death, nothin’.”

“So they don’t know anything?” She points out and falls beside you, letting you finally continue to follow your dad. “Because they’ve also never heard of the Fireflies.”

“It’s hard to hear much living so secluded,” you explain and look ahead, catching in that moment your dad stops and leans against a wooden pole.

Is he really that scared of some fear the old couple have? Because it’s only to scare people away, it isn’t true.

Is he still tired? He’s panting.

“Joel? Joel?” Ellie calls out, and shares a slightly concerned and confused look with you before she walks over to him, while you watch him with higher concern that freezes you a bit.

“Joel, are you okay?” She asks and gets closer to him as he stays leaning against the pole. “Joel?”

“Shut up,” he quips at her.

You blink and snap out of your stupor to make your way to him too. “Dad,” you call out.

“Holy shit, are you dying?” Ellie remarks, making that fear you didn’t feel before spark now at the sound of her words, even if he shakes his head.

Is it his heart? He is old now.

What if it is his heart?

“Dad?” You call out and walk past Ellie to look at his face, noticing his eyes are closed and his hand is in a tight fist. It’s like he’s in pain…

“I’m okay,” he mutters breathlessly.

You know you haven’t talked much in the past three months, your anger is still pretty alive and heightened to the point you can’t hold his gaze sometimes for more than a few seconds. But he still is your dad, and you still do very much love him…more than anything. It’s just hard being with him right now. It’s hard.

“Okay, okay,” he keeps repeating, and you grow more concerned.

“Okay, are you okay? It doesn’t sound like you are,” Ellie keeps panicking.

“I’m fine.”

“But are you because just a reminder that if you’re dead, I’m fucked—”

“Ellie,” you warn, and step closer to him. You feel like freezing, like covering your ears at the sight of his trouble, but you muster the strength to carefully grab his arm, and call to him again. “Daddy.”

As if snapped back to reality by your touch, and your voice so close, he snaps his eyes to you and calms his breathing immediately.

“Are you okay?” You ask him.

He swallows thickly and holds your gaze for a moment before he snaps back. “I said I’m fine.”

Huh. You pull your hand away and nod. “Okay.”

“It’s just the cold air all of a sudden,” he explains what can be true, but what sounds like bullshit.

“All right,” Ellie says and continues to walk ahead. “Uh, so let’s go and find Tommy and the Fireflies.”

You linger your gaze on your dad for a few more seconds as you try to find some sort of symptom. But he did brush Ellie and you off harshly so, instead you leave him be and follow after Ellie.

“It’s gonna be easy,” Ellie adds and almost trips going up the snowy hill. “All we have to do is cross the River of Death.”

You roll your eyes at the fact that she’s believing it so easily, but still don’t try to correct anyone. Instead you comment on something to lighten the mood.

“We might have to wait to find the Fireflies.”

Ellie looks back with slight concern and presses. “Why?”

You look down at the snow you’re walking over and smirk. “Well it’s not summer yet.” You look up at her and shoot her a smile.

Ellie rolls her eyes and looks back. “That was stupid,” she remarks as she hides her amused smile.

“You liked it,” you mutter and pull on your backpack straps to tighten them. “You know it.”

“Maybe I can laugh at all your jokes if you teach me what you did back there, to that guy in Kansas City a few months ago,” she says.

She saw that?

You let out a soft sigh, and brush away what threatens to resurface about Sam and Henry to solely focus on what she wants. “Well, one, you don’t gotta pretend to like my jokes to get something out of me. You could've just asked.”

Ellie shrugs. “I ask Joel to teach me stuff and he says no,” she argues. “I thought you’d be the same.”

You scoff. “Well no, I ain't. And two, always read the room, Kathleen prided herself on loyalty, she wasn’t going to risk letting me kill the guy. I knew that so I acted,” you share your technique.

“Uh, huh,” Ellie notes everything down mentally.

“Two, body stance, look at how they’re standing, how tight their finger is on the trigger, if it’s too tight you’ll get shot at that moment,” you continue. “Three, act fast, hit the weak points to paralyze them. Men, the groin is a good one, for both men and women, throat, eyes, knees, temple, nose, jaw and shins. And then get them to the ground, or your stance of choice to threaten them. But always make sure they can’t and aren’t reaching for any weapons, okay? You’ll lose the higher ground if they do.”

Ellie looks over her shoulder, showing off her little smirk. “Okay, got that, but now what about a physical demonstration?” She asks.

You nod. “Sure, once we find somewhere to camp.”

Ellie shoots you a partial grin and nods in comprehension. “Cool.” She looks back ahead. “Your joke was stupid by the way.”

You snicker and run up to catch up to her. “Yeah. How about yours, Will Livingston, huh?”

She snickers and shrugs, bringing silence that follows the three of you for a while. You just walk, walk and walk for miles, down hills, up them, past dryer terrain and even snowier ground. Past a horizon of the setting sun, and under clear skies. All up until you reach a valley that overlooks the river the couple had mentioned on the map your dad insists on carrying even if they have you guiding the way

“The River of Death,” Ellie comments. “Scary.”

“Don’t start,“ your dad warns her bluntly.

You on the other hand watch the distant running river and sigh with relief. You’re almost home.

“It’s too close to dark,” your dad mentions. “There’s some caves along the river. We’ll set up camp there, cross in the mornin’.”

“Good,” Ellie says. “I'm starving. Should’ve stolen two rabbits.”

“We can get our own rabbits,” your dad counters.

You scoff at his comment, and see him give you a side eye.

“You gonna teach me how?” Ellie asks with hope.

Only to be shot down by your dad. “Just keep movin’.”

“Y/N?” Ellie now drifts her question to you.

You look over at her and think for a few seconds before nodding. “Sure let's just get more bullets first, or maybe a bow and arrow.”

Ellie snaps her eyes to your dad and shoots him a smirk. “See,” she quips. “Someone’s nice.” And then she proceeds to continue walking.

You scoff and roll your eyes before you also proceed to continue walking even more. Luckily this time you don’t end up walking far, your dad finds a cave somewhat deep in the woods to set up your last camp.

As always you’re all quick to eat as that’s what you’re looking forward to the most throughout the long days of walking, and avoiding danger. As always it’s quiet between you and him. He doesn’t attempt to talk to you, nor do you attempt to talk to him. Something stands in the way now, a tension…a fear that runs in the both of you.

The one thing that fills the awkward and tension filled silence is Ellie.

“Oh my god!” She exclaims and jumps off her seat to run off towards the giant rock in front of the cave.

“Ellie,” your dad mutters.

You look up from your food and see the sky beginning to glow as it fills with beautiful dancing colors of bright green, and hints of purple light. Northern lights.

You smile softly and shove the last bit of food in your mouth before you follow Ellie towards the rock to get a better view of them from the top.

“Beautiful huh? You know why they happen?” You ask Ellie as you sit beside her on the rock.

Ellie keeps her head up to continue admiring the dancing hues, and shakes her head. “Do you?” She redirects.

You hum and nod. “I read it in a book once, it happens when charged particles collide with gasses in Earth's upper atmosphere. Those collisions then produce tiny flashes that fill the sky with colorful light.”

Ellie looks down and meets your gaze. “Hm, interesting.” She says sincerely with a soft smile as she looks up again.

“There’s a lot of lore behind them, different beliefs,” you add quietly. “Some people think of them as bad omen, others as positive….what really stuck with me is this one belief I got told once by an old lady in Jackson…” you pause and slowly look down at your hands as that sadness, that grief, that agony, presents itself in you again after having pushed it away all day.

“She said that the lights are the souls of the departed…ancestors, those….” You swallow thickly and feel your eyes and throat begin to sting. “You lost.” You reach in your pocket and pull out the sun pin you kept inside, you fiddle with it and watch it reflect the lights that dance above.

“I like that one,” Ellie whispers.

You nod as your eyes fill with tears. “Me too.” You let out a deep sigh and flicker your eyes up to watch the sky again, to admire its beauty.

Ellie and you stay up there, basking in the lights and the silence until your dad whistles and cuts in. “Come down from there. Y’all gonna break your necks.”

Impossible….maybe a sore neck…

Regardless you both climb down and huddle back near the fire.

“Ah,” Ellie interjects. “Can I have some?”

You put the pin away and glance over at your dad, noticing the flask of alcohol in his hand.

“No.” He shakes his head.

“What?” Ellie argues. “Just to warm up. C’mon.”

Your dad rolls his eyes slightly but gives in, making you pass the flask to Ellie.

“Thanks,” she mutters, and looks at the metal flask for a second before raising it up as a speechless cheers.

You think she’d hesitate to take a sip, but she takes the drink without a fight.

Honestly, it’s very funny. Especially when she pulls it down and scrunches her face in disgust.

“Yep,” she groans. “Still gross.” She nudges it to you now. “Sip?”

You look at it and shake your head. “I’m fine. Thanks.” You grab the flask and hand it back to your dad.

“So I’ve been thinking,” Ellie continues to fill the silence.

“Hm?” You probe curiously, and press your hands down on the cold ground to lean back.

“Let’s say we find the Fireflies,” she says, “it all works, they draw my blood and put it through some of their fancy machines and make a cure.”

“Okay?” You hear your dad say.

“Then what? Like, what do we do?”

“Oh, it’s we?” Your dad retorts, kind of rudely may you add.

“Okay,” Ellie corrects herself. “Fine. Whatever. You. You can do anything you want. Where are you going? What are you doing?”

That’s an interesting question.

You glance over at your dad and wait.

“It’s never been an option,” he answers and looks up to the sky as he clears his throat. “Maybe,” he sighs. “An old farmhouse, some land, a ranch.”

He’s said that once, when you were young, he said he was working to get one, that you could all have all the free space you wanted, you could have horses, sheep, dogs, cats and goats. He’d said that once he’s old Sarah and you could live with him to take care of him and the animals. He always liked to talk about it.

Of course that was pre outbreak. You never heard that dream after. It’s nice that it hasn’t changed.

“Cool,” Ellie comments, but you can’t tell if she’s teasing him or actually interested. “What kind?”

“Sheep. I would raise sheep.”

You glance down at the fire and smile softly.

“Sheep,” Ellie whispers.

“They’re quiet,” your dad adds, making you snort softly. “Do what they’re told.”

You stifle your laugh and glance over at Ellie since you know it’s a jab at her.

“Yeah, yeah,” Ellie gets it. “Okay. So, just you and a buncha sheep. Romantic.”

You smile and spare your dad one teasing glance. He feels your gaze, he sees your smile finally directed at him after three months, and sighs softly.

“What about you, y/n?” Ellie asks.

You glance at her and then watch the dancing lights in the sky. “Well when I was young I wanted to be a performer like Britney Spears.” You grin proudly.

“Who?” Ellie queries, but you don’t have time to answer since you continue.

“But now I want to become a movie star,” you smirk and look down at her. “An actress who stars in big movies. Like Halle Berry, Kate Winslet, Kristen Dunst, Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, and my favorite, and my idol, Audrey Hepburn.” You beam at her and nod slowly.

Ellie squints and shakes her head. “I’ve heard of none of them.”

“You will soon enough, and you’ll know my name as well. Y/N Miller,” you throw your hands up in the air and glance at your dad with that grin, noticing him listening with intent and the corner of his lips slightly raised. “Famous movie star. Survivalist. And the most talented and prettiest.”

Ellie snorts and nods along again. “I actually think that’s pretty cool. I mean you’ll probably be the only one, but it’s nice.”

“Thank you,” you beam at her and put your hands down. “I won’t forget to mention you in my speech when I win my Oscar.” You wink and then press her now. “What about you? Where are you gonna go?”

Ellie gently punches her legs and looks up. “It’s probably because I grew up in the QZ. Behind you, there’s ocean, and ahead of you, there’s a wall.” She looks down between you and your dad. “Nowhere else to look but up. I read everything I could in the school library. Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Jim Lovell. But you know who my favorite is?”

Yes.

“Sally Ride,” your dad guesses correctly.

“Sally fuckin’ Ride!” She whispers excitedly. “Best astronaut name ever.”

You smile softly and in admiration. Silence follows, and her own smile fades, her gaze gets lost ahead of her, and you sense sorrow.

“It’ll work, right?” She then asks, making your smile fall. “The vaccine?”

You sigh and sit up to drag your legs against your chest, and hug them tightly.

“It’s a little late to start wonderin’” your dad retorts.

“I tried,” she says. “With Sam.”

Your frown immediately deepens, and your heart begins to sink.

“Tried what?” Your dad probes.

“I knew he was infected,” Ellie answers, and you see her glance at you. “I rubbed some of my blood into his bite. I know. I know it was stupid. But I…I wanted to save him.”

Your eyes water again, that anguish crawls back up, and memories haunt you.

“Well, I reckon it’s a lot more complicated than that,” your dad tells her. “Marlene, she’s a lotta things, but she’s no fool. If she says they can do it, they can do it.”

They hope….you hope too.

For him. For Sam.

After that silence returns, which is abruptly interrupted. “Who wants to take first watch and second watch?” Ellie asks to change the subject.

You part your lips to volunteer, but your dad quickly interrupts before you can.

“I’ll do both. you girls should get some sleep.”

You snap your eyes to him and get ready to argue, but once again he beats you to it.

“Y/N, it’s okay, I can do it. Tomorrow we’ll be with Tommy, and I can sleep then.”

You hesitate for a moment but you know you’ll get nowhere, so you give in.

“Dream of sheep ranches on the moon,” he adds as you and Ellie grab your sleeping bags.

“I will,” Ellie agrees. And you just scoff softly and leave it at that.

——

Sleep comes, but you don’t last long, eventually the nightmares take over; the same ones from the past three months, and all you can do is stay up to avoid seeing all of it. It would make a boring and long night, but you find yourself entertained by watching your dad.

He sits against the cave wall, he watches the sky, he watches the dark shadows in the forest, and occasionally he glances over to watch you and Ellie sleep. He seems to be looking for something, a sign of life. Once he finds it he’d look away and go back to keeping watch. That’s when your head spins and you begin to wonder why he left you?

What was his reason? Grief?

Because you feel it, you understand it. Perhaps not before, not the moment you lost Sarah, but after losing Henry?

That need to just go away, to cave into yourself, to hide and never come out? To…not keep going, to just end it as it seems like life has little meaning? You understand that. You want to do it everyday. Is that why?

Or was it fear? Just cause?

Did you do something wrong?

Or were you not enough? Were you not…her?

If you could, you'd bring her back to him. If somehow there was a chance, you would. You’d bring back Sam and Henry. Even if it meant you’d be gone forever, you’d do it.

If seeing Sarah again would make him happy you’d do it. Anger and resentment aside, you’d do it….

Nevertheless…as you’re caught up in your own thoughts, he ends up passing out.

What an old man.

To keep him that way so he can get the rest he needs you get up and keep watch for him. Ellie soon joins you and you let sleep as you both keep watch while the sun rises again, and the day turns bright.

During your watch you taught Ellie the move she wanted to learn; which she learns fast and gets very happy about. You talked about stupid stuff, and then watched some more until he woke up abruptly.

“Still mumbling in your sleep,” Ellie comments as he looks up panicked. “We woke up early. You were passed out, so we took second watch.”

“Y/N,” your dad scolds you.

You just shrug and brush him off.

“You gotta wake me up if that happens,” he rebuttals and gets up. “You can’t do things like this, Ellie.”

“But I can,” she counters sassily. “‘Cause I just did. Besides, y/n was with me the entire time.”

“She’s older, she knows stuff,” he quickly snaps back. “She’s not responsible for you, I am, okay?”

“Then don’t fall asleep,” she sasses him. “We were quiet, We checked our six, we looked for tracks, we found the high ground, and we kept watch,” she assures him as he gets near. “like you and she taught me too. And y/n let me hold the gun the entire time.” She quips and shares a proud glance with you. “What can I say, man? I'm a natural.”

“Uh-huh,” he nods. “Give her the gun.”

Ellie sighs and turns to hand you back your gun. You then proceed to hang it around your shoulder, and listen to him direct her a comment.

“You wake me up next time.”

“Yes, sir,” Ellie agrees. “But only if y/n is not here.” She shoots him a smile.

Your dad rolls his eyes and groans. “Fine,” he says in defeat. “C’mon pack up, let’s get goin’.”

As usual the day consists of endless fucking walking which was getting more annoying the closer you were to home. It’s like a fucking dread. And today it seemed colder out—but that’s probably due to the falling snow and the winder winds.

Once you assure Ellie and your dad that River is safe to cross, you make it to the other side and put your mask up over half of your face, you put your hood over your head to block out the cold and keep as warm as you can.

The closer you got home, the more the grounds seemed familiar, the more your excitement rose. That becomes especially so as you get close to the dam.

“We’re almost there,” you squeal. “We’re almost home.” You quicken your pace, but look back as you the sound of Ellie blowing out air catches your attention. “Whatcha doin’?”

“I’m learning how to whistle,” she explains as she catches both you and your dad looking back at her now.

“You don’t know how to whistle?” Your dad queries.

Ellie pulls her hand out of her mouth to rebuttal. “Does it sound like I know how to whistle?”

“No,” you retort and look back ahead. “Just put your lips together and blow.

“I’ve tried that! It doesn’t work!”

You smirk and do it yourself before you look back at her to do it again.

Ellie shoots you a pointed glare and drops her hand to her side. “Well now you're just showing off,” she spats. “No one likes a show off.”

You smirk and counter. “Everyone likes me, so I guess it’s wrong.”

Ellie scoffs. “Have you ever heard of the word humble? Won’t hurt to know its definition.”

You grin and look ahead. “I do know it actually.” You whistle one more to piss her off.

This time she doesn’t retort back, instead you suddenly feel a snowball hit your back.

“Hey!” You exclaim and look back.

Ellie shoots you a smirk. “Show off,” she quips without shame.

You let out a small huff and stop walking to bend down and make a snowball. Ellie knows what you’re going to do and begins to walk back with a grin.

“Don’t,” she laughs and puts her hand out.

“Whistle,” you say. “And I won’t throw it. Oh wait,” you snicker. “You can’t.”

Ellie quickly bends down and collects a snowball, causing you guys to stay at a standstill to wait who’d throw it first.

“Throw it and I’ll push you in,” she threatens.

You begin to walk back and taunt her again with a whistle.

“Fucker!” Ellie runs and throws it, but you manage to turn out of the way, and it ends up hitting the back of your dads legs.

Ellie’s eyes go wide, and you and her stifle your laughs as he stops and looks back.

“It was me,” she admits with a smirk, and you let your snowball fall, and snicker.

Your dad looks between the two of you, he lets his gaze linger without saying anything. And when he does break his gaze away it’s to glance down at his wrist for a second before he lifts his eyes and lets out a deep annoyed sigh. “Enough foolin’ around, let’s go.” He grumbles and turns to continue on ahead, causing you guys to follow after him now.

“You guys should teach me how to hunt. Like, seriously,” Ellie says.

“Huh,” your dad breathes out.

“Huh,” Ellie mocks. “Like she’s a girl. she can’t handle it.”

“You can handle the shootin’” you assure her.

“Not so sure about the dressin’?” Your dad adds on to your comment.

“What’s the dressin’?” Ellie asks.

You look over at her and explain it to her. “It’s when you take the guts out.”

Ellie nods as she falls behind. “Oh, yeah. Why do they call it dressing? It’s like, you should call it undressing ‘cause it is. It’s like undressing from the inside.”

You hum in agreement and think about it now too.

“Still interested, though.” Ellie adds.

“I told you,” you tell her and grin as you see glimpses of the dam coming up. “Let’s just get more bullets, and we can do it.” You then run up ahead and stop at the top of the hill that overlooks the running water that goes through the dam.

Ellie and your dad catch up, and Ellie of course adds something to specialize the moment. “Dam.”

You and your dad share a judgmental gaze before he retorts for you. “You’re no Will Livingston.”

“Yeah, yeah, but who is?” She rebuttals. “So that made electricity?”

“Yeah,” your dad answers her. “Don’t ask me. I don’t have a clue.”

You smile wider and linger in your spot for a moment before you continue walking.

“You know, you could’ve just made something up,” Ellie interjects as they both follow you now whilst you try hard not to just run home out of pure joy. “I would’ve believed you.”

“You know,” you add on as you walk down, past the dam. “The dam still provides electricity. I’ve been told how, but I forgot, but there is light in Jackson, trust me.”

“Huh,” Ellie huffs out. “Well we're almost there aren’t we? We’ll see.”

“Yeah.” You mutter. “We will.”

Once you make it down you each step makes your heart beat pick up, each other footstep makes you wary since you know that the rangers out on pontrol should probably be approaching. It’s rare that they’d miss spotting the three of you.

“Look at that River,” Ellie points out. “It’s crazy blue. Hey, Joel, what if this is the River of Death?”

You hear him stop, so you stop even with your anticipation to get home, and wait for them. You watch him pull out his map to check what you’ve already pointed out.

“We’re close,” you break the silence. “Let’s go.”

As you take a few steps ahead, you come to a quick halt as the sound of horses neighing, their running footsteps steal your attention.

Your dad takes Ellie’s hand and tries to run away, while you stay in place and watch multiple people surround you, stopping Ellie and your dad right by you.

“Get behind me,” you hear your dad tell Ellie, before he grabs your hand and tries to pull you behind him too.

However, you slip your hand away and step forward again. You’re not scared, you recognize this tactic, you know the protocol, you know it’s them.

“We ain’t lookin’ for any trouble,” your dad interjects to try to ease the tension. “We’re just passin’ through.”

You glance around at all of them, all the faces of the people that surround the three of you. Since they all have hats, and masks over their faces it’s hard to identify who’s who. You doubt much has changed as far as routines go, maybe some people have been added here and there, but it should be the same otherwise. They might recognize you and ease the tension.

Albeit just as you lower your hand to take off your mask all guns point at you

“Keep your hands up!” The man at front yells.

“Yes,” you mutter and search the crowd again for Maria, she usually likes to patrol at the gate.

Behind you a dog begins to whine; maybe it’s the alert dog…fuck that’s right. Fuck.

“Drop the guns!” The man yells again.

You snap your gaze to your dad and give him an assuring nod before you both pull your guns off your shoulders, and place them on the ground. When you’re lifting your arms again is when you reach for your mask and pull it off, you then lift your hand further and pull off your hood, finally revealing your face to those ahead of you.

Again you search the crowd and behind the man you spot her, Maria. Her eyes land on you too and you see her ease her shoulders.

The man ahead lowers his gun slightly and squints his gaze slightly. “Holy shit,” he mutters. “The child protege returns.” He scoffs and glances back, you follow his line of gaze and see Maria getting off her horse, she lowers her mask and her eyes soften—“welcome home, Sunny.”

You smile with relief, and offer him a nod.

“You’re gonna have to stay there girl,” he adds. “You know the rules.”

You nod and look at Ellie and your dad. “It’s okay,” you mutter and keep your hands at your side.

“You been near infected?” He asks.

You shake your head and try to answer, but your dad beats you to it.

“There’s no infected out here.”

“The hell there ain’t,” the guy spats back and whistles, making a dog from ahead of you bark as he’s brought over.

Then who’s whining behind you?

“Last chance for a bullet. If you’ve been infected, he will smell it and he will rip you up.”

You swallow thickly and glance over at Ellie.

Usually the dog only detects active cordyceps, hers is…dormant considering it hasn’t spread? Or is it active?

Fuck.

The dog is let go from its leash and he first begins to walk to your dad. He first smells him to make sure, and once he smells nothing he jumps up and gives the all clear. After that the dog walks over to you, he smells your feet and your legs, before jumps on you and gives you the all clear.

“Good boy,” you coo at him and scratch him behind the ears.

The dog happily wags his tail before getting on all fours to walk back to his handler.

“Like I said, we’ll just move on,” your dad interjects. But it’s not that easy, they still need to make sure Ellie is clear. You can’t move otherwise, not even to greet Maria that is itching to meet up with you as much as you are to meet up with her.

“Now her,” they point to Ellie.

Your heart begins to race, and your mind begins to race faster. The dog begins to growl as he creeps towards her, so you look at your dad to see what he’d do, but you see that he’s frozen…he’s…frozen.

He must truly care about her….

Fuck.

You step back and face Ellie, and she looks over at you at that moment too to express her concern since your dad wouldn’t turn to face her.

“It's okay,” you mouth to her as the dog gets closer. “It’s okay.” You discreetly reach your fingers for your holstered gun. If the dog does detect the cordyceps then you’ll have to…wound it so he doesn’t hurt her, they’ll all probably hate you for it, but you can’t let her die.

The dog gets closer, he smells her for a few seconds before he looks up at her. You hold your breath and clench your jaw.

Ellie glances at you again, and you step forward, but the dog then barks and jumps on her, giving the all clear, and letting you relax and exhale deeply.

“Hi,” Ellie giggles and crouches down to pet the dog and let him lick her. “Hi!”

Now that he isn’t going to kill her, you look at the guy for the okay.

He catches you and points to Maria with his eyes. You immediately beam as your eyes begin to sting, and don’t wait a moment longer to break into a run towards her, meeting her halfway.

“Oh god,” she whispers as she throws her arms around you. “You’re here. You’ve been gone too long.”

You nod and ball up the material of her jacket in your fists as you nuzzle your head against her shoulder.

“I’m home,” your voice quivers, forgetting those you came with as you’re basked by the joy, and warmth of being in her arms again. It’s why you miss the curious stare of your dad, the confusion that grows within him, whilst Ellie begins to feel a spark of something deep within her, something she hasn’t felt about you before, jealousy…not for what you might have with Maria, but over how she holds you and what it can mean.

Sure at first she was slightly jealous of you, of how your father showed you affection, but that soon disappeared, quickly actually; the moment she saw you take down that man. And now after 3 months, after witnessing what happened 3 months ago together. After 2 months of you teaching her things she didn't know, things she wanted to know, now after having someone to talk to, someone to laugh with. Now after finally having another woman to bond with her instead of just your dad. After having no one but you and your dad, she’s grown quite attached to you too.

She knew you were heading home to your family, but something in her hoped you wouldn't be so overjoyed, she didn’t want you to stay with them. She wanted just you, your dad, and her. Even if she noticed how you and your dad barely even talked at the moment.

“You’re never leaving,” Maria says and rests her chin on your head. “You understand that?”

You laugh and nod. “Not plannin’ to.”

Maria tightens her hold around you for one more lingering second before she pulls back to grab your shoulders and look at you in the face, to see the happy tears that roll down your cheeks.

“Tommy is going to freak out,” she says with a happy smile. “I was so worried,” she sighs and caresses your cheeks as she looks deep into your eyes.

You try to hide it well, the sadness brought by your still very much active grief, but can she tell in this small interaction?

“I’m home now,” you assure her. “I’m okay.”

“Are you?” She asks.

You nod and offer her a brighter smile. “I…am.”

She hums, and caresses your chin once more before letting you go, and letting you turn to introduce who you’re here with now that you remember that you’re still surrounded. But before you can, a big red bloodhound comes running at you and tackles you to the ground with all its force to start licking you, and whining out of joy.

“Hey!” You hear Ellie exclaim with concern.

“Ahh,” you groan and keep tilting your head away so you wouldn’t be licked in your mouth. “That’s a good boy, Achilles,” you tell him. “I missed you too man, but you’re heavy.”

“Maybe he’ll help you get cleaned up,” you hear someone say as they approach you. “Achilles, get off her man.”

The dog does as he’s told, letting someone else come to view as they stand above you now, blocking the natural bright light that almost blinds you, but shines around his head like he’s some majestic being.

“Fuck,” he gasps and throws his hand out to offer it to you.

As if it can be possible you grin brighter at the sight of his familiar soft brown eyes that gleam with happiness, and his beaming smile that spreads on his square jaw. You take his hand and let him help you off the ground, you stay there in front of each of other for a lingering moment just staring at one another with longing that comes rushing back at you—you also notice he doesn’t seem to aged much, he looks pretty much the same, except for his hair, it’s longer, fluffier, and no longer shaven.

It looks good that way. It’s nice to see him again. seeing your best friend since you joined the fireflies years ago brings even more ease to your wounded heart. It makes you excited, so much so that you squeal before you throw your arms around his neck.

“Jesus,” he mutters as he holds onto you. “I knew you’d make it.” He nuzzles his head against your shoulder, and you close your eyes to nuzzle your face against him.

“I’m finally home,” you whisper as if you can’t believe it.

He hums and begins to rub your back, he lets you bask in his embrace until you’re the one that wants to let go.

“You grew out your hair,” you point out with a smile and brush back the ends of his hair. “I like it.”

You begin to turn to face your dad and Ellie, but he turns with you to keep holding your gaze with a soft look that matches yours.

“Yeah,” he scoffs and grows cocky. “I knew you were coming, so I was like, I’m going to grow it for her since I know she likes it that way.”

You roll your eyes, but keep your smile as you walk past him to face your dad and Ellie now.

“They’re okay,” you assure the group. “They’re with me. That man is,” you exhale and share a glance with Maria. “My dad, Joel, the girl is Ellie.”

Slowly they both put their hands down, but the guns remain pointed.

“You vouch for them?” The guy asks you.

You glance at him and meet his gaze to nod. “Yep.”

The guy nods in comprehension and lowers his gun, letting the others do the same.

“Let’s get them on some horses and get them inside,” the guy instructs.

You glance at Ellie and your dad once before you turn on your heels to follow Maria.

“That’s your dad?” Apollo asks quietly beside you as he makes his horse, and his dog Achilles follows him as you all head home. “Are you gonna present me or what?”

“Shut up, Apollo,” you snap back and nudge him.

Apollo laughs and looks back. “I kinda see it between him and Tommy.”

You giggle. “Well they are brothers. You and Atlas look alike for that same reason.”

“You and your sister didn't look alike,” Apollo quickly rebuttals.

You huff out. “‘Cause we were half sisters, duh, do you want it explained to you how that works? Mama,” you look at Maria up on her horse now. “You want to explain to Apollo how that works.”

“Don’t be an ass,” Apollo retorts and nudges you.

You giggle, and notice Maria smirk.

Not so long after that Ellie, your dad, and you are whisked to some horses, finally being able to rest your feet and not have to walk the rest of the way to Jackson. You come to recognize most of the rangers who had given you that cold welcome, and greet all those you knew and that knew you.

You weren’t inside the walls yet, you haven’t seen your uncle yet, but you did feel more safe now, more comforted now that you aren’t out in the open. Now that you’re only minutes from home.

“I can’t wait to share the hell I’ve been through these past two years,” you interject on your way home. “You guys won’t fucking believe it.”

Apollo glances over at you and narrows his gaze to quip. “Maybe.” He licks his lips and looks serious. “You should tell it in the form of a play, hm?”

He’s making fun of you, funny.

“Yeah,” you go along with him. “The adventures of y/n Miller, one woman show, the musical.” You smirk and bounce your eyebrows.

“Who would play you?” He counters. “‘Cause,” he says and sucks in air through his teeth. “I hate to break it to you, but singing isn’t for you, you can play the guitar, but it’s singing that just….” He shakes his head.

You drop your jaw, peel your eyes wide as if suddenly hit with excitement, and snap your fingers to share your thought. “I have the best idea. Maybe…your mom can do it?”

Apollo goes serious, and you stifle your laugh as you grin at him.

“Can I get a bump?” You tease him and stick your fist out at your other side to offer Ellie a fistbump since she’s riding beside you.

Ellie’s confused at first, but she doesn’t leave you hanging. Apollo shakes his head with a frown, so you now offer him your fist.

“Come on,” you encourage him. “Don’t leave me hanging, it was funny.” You giggle.

Apollo rolls his eyes but very lightly hits your fist. “Only because you’re back,” he mutters.

You shrug sweetly and shoot him a sweet smile.

“It was a lame joke,” Ellie mutters.

You roll your eyes to her and sigh. “Well, I think it works,” you assure yourself. “It was good at the moment.” You flash her a smile.

Jackson isn’t far now, you all make it there quickly by horse. That wooden wall comes to view soon, and after being gone for so long, it’s such a heavenly sight. What once felt like a trapdoor, what once felt like a cage is now nothing but paradise. Walking in was such a fucking relief too. There was instant comfort in all the buildings, some that have had some tweaks and others that remain the same.

“Welcome back home,” Maria tells you as the gates close behind you.

You shoot her a smile and continue to look around at all the people, and then focus on the Christmas decorations, letting you know come up to date with what month it was; December! It’s almost Christmas!

Yet, even as happy as you feel, there’s a sadness that stabs your heart, that reminds you of that pain…

Henry and Sam should be here. They should’ve made it this far, they should’ve seen all this. You promised them…

“Y/N?!”

You snap away from your thoughts and look behind you where the call had come from, that’s when you see another familiar face, a close friend from your firefly days, and Apollo’s younger brother.

You turn your frown the other way around so they won’t worry. “Atlas!” You call out and climb off the horse, letting the man behind you take it for you.

“I knew it was you!” Atlas exclaims as you both run to meet halfway in an embrace. “Holy fuck!” He chuckles. “Fuck! I thought you were dead!”

You laugh softly and pat his back. “I made it, like I said I would.”

He smiles and caresses the back of your neck with his soft hands. “We missed you. Home wasn’t the same without you.”

You pull back and offer him a happy smile. “You haven’t aged,” you point out.

“Nah,” he winks. “Just got more handsome.”

You scrunch your nose in disgust and pull away from him completely.

Atlas smirks and glances at the pair you came in with as they walk away further in town. “You’ve brought company.”

You nod and turn to walk after them now, seeing Apollo approach on foot. “Yeah, that’s my dad,” you let Atlas know.

Atlas snaps his head to you and furrows his thick dark eyebrows. “No fucking way. Like, your dad, dad?”

Why are they so in disbelief that he’s your dad? Is there something you’re missing?

“Yeah.” You nod and scoff. “Him.” You let out a sigh and watch Apollo fall by your other side now. “I’ve got a question,” you abruptly change the subject as curiosity grows. “Are you still with redhead Jessica?”

Atlas begins to snicker, but Apollo answers before his brother can blurt the news.

“We broke up.”

You perk up instantly.

“Yeah,” Atlas bounces off his brother's announcement. “She cheated on him.” He smirks.

What a relief…not the cheating part.

Well…kinda…

“Yeah,” Apollo sighs as he shoots his brother a glare. “It happened like a year ago.”

You smile and let him see it. “Bad news, told ya.”

“Whatever,” Apollo retorts.

“Atlas! You rangle up stragglers?!” You hear a woman shout.

Apollo and you snap your heads to the side, seeing Atlas spin around to walk backwards so he can look at the young girls that had spoken to him.

“Yep!” Atlas lies. “Bad ones too! I spotted them myself, kept them from getting shot.”

You and Apollo share an amused and judgemental look before continuing to watch Atlas, noticing at that moment a pile of shit that one of the horses dropped just now; and Atlas was walking right towards it.

“A thousand that he steps in it,” you offer Apollo.

Your friend scoffs and shakes his head. “No need, he’s going to step in it.”

You both snicker and watch Atlas continue to walk back.

“Let’s meet later while everyone is at the movies, I’ll tell you all about it, and my recent patrol!”

The girls giggle and nod. “Let’s do it!” One of the girls accepts.

Atlas shoots them a wink, and as he does he runs into the pile of hot horse shit.

Without looking, as if you hadn’t ever left, Apollo and you share a proud highfive at his brother's carelessness.

“Oh man!” Atlas exclaims. “What the hell?!”

“Y/N?!” Someone yells, this one more familiar and soothing than before.

You snap your eyes ahead, and there in the middle of the crowd that had greeted you outside the gates, beside your dad, is your uncle Tommy.

“Uncle Tommy!” You call back with instant tears filling your eyes as you’re slammed with unmeasurable relief, more bliss than you’ve felt since you saw your dad for the first time.

Your uncle Tommy smiles softly and without hesitation, before wasting another second you both break through barriers of space to collide, to throw your arms around one another and hold each other.

“Oh, babygirl,” he whispers as he caresses your back, and holds you in his arms tightly as if he would lose you if his hold was too loose.

“Uncle Tommy,” you cry after not being able to hold it any longer.

“Oh,” he breathes out. “My sweet Sunny.”

As you held him, as you cried into his shoulder, you felt finally home, secured. This was home. Him. Uncle Tommy. For so long he was all you had after your dad left, for so long even when your dad was there he was the light that didn’t flicker away. He was the hope you almost lost. He was home, just as much as you were his.

Yes, as you hugged him, as you held him close you did notice the faint look of hurt in your dads eyes as he saw the interaction, it hurt you seeing it. But isn’t this what he wanted when he left you? When he drove you away? When you weren’t enough for him?

When you weren’t enough for him to stay and be your dad?

.

Tagged- @slut-f0r-u @star-wars-lover @traceylader @givemylovetoall @itzagothamcitysiren @sammy-13 @beloved-reblogger @emiriia @rues-daya @sunfairyy @littleshadow17 @mcu-starwars @bigtuffswordboy @riaqiax @dheet @queenofthekill @joliettes @d4rno @dgraysonss @rana030 @punisherinthealps @pedropascalluvr41 @ahoyyharrington @beaniebeensbaby201@maeneedsabreak@maelartasch@adristyles@daughterofthequeen @alastorhazbin @ririvilliams @khaylin27

[asasbarbieworld]

GOTH SONGS THAT REMIND ME OF BUCCIARATI’S TEAM AS A GOTH

BRUNO BUCCIARATI

LEONE ABBACCHIO

GUIDO MISTA

PANNACOTTA FUGO

NARANCIA GHIRGA

GIORNO GIOVANNA

TRISH UNA

[gatekeeper-watchman]

Daily Devotionals for Saturday, April 27, 2024

Proverbs: God's Wisdom for Daily Living

Devotional Scripture:

Proverbs 15:6-7(KJV): 6 In the house of the righteous is much treasure: but in the revenues of the wicked is trouble. 7 The lips of the wise disperse knowledge: but the heart of the foolish doeth not so. Proverbs 15:6-7(Amp): 6 In the house of the (uncompromisingly) righteous is great (priceless) treasure, but with the income of the wicked is trouble and vexation. 7 The lips of the wise disperse knowledge (sifting it as chaff from the grain); not so the mind of the self-confident and foolish.

Thought for the Day

Verse 6 - The income of the wicked comes with trouble, while the righteous have "much treasure." Some people have a hard time believing this is true because they know righteous Christians who are struggling with finances. To understand the meaning of this verse, we must first understand what the Bible means by "treasures" and "true riches."

Money cannot buy health or save someone's life. The Bible says that we are to seek God's true riches, not this world's riches. His riches are things that money cannot buy. How can money deliver a wayward teenager from drugs and sin? How can money buy peace in our souls in the face of fear all around us? How can money save a soul from hell? Only God's riches are available to do these things. We are truly rich when we have faith in God.

Certainly, God does want to bless us with material things, but it will be Him that we are seeking when these things come, not the things themselves. Many today are seeking God for what He can do for them, instead of asking God how they can serve Him. We cannot seek mammon and God at the same time.

"If you have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust in the true riches? And if ye have not been faithful in that which is another man's, who shall give you that which is your own? No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other, or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon" (Luke 16:11-13).

"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" (Matthew 6:19-21).

"Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye need all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you" (Matthew 6:31-33).

Verse 7 – The lips of the wise share godly knowledge, claiming the promises of God. However, claiming only material things is foolish. Many today are heard claiming cars and houses but seldom heard claiming souls. Our priorities should be right when claiming and confessing. The Lord's greatest desire is for us to grow in Him and to bring others to the knowledge of His love. He will take care of our needs if we seek Him first.

Prayer Devotional for the Day

Father, we come to You in Jesus' most precious name, thanking You for Your love for us. Lord, You see the areas in our lives that are not in balance in the area of material things. We ask that You reveal those to us and help us to walk in the path of righteousness and Your holy balance in these areas. Deliver us from any lust for the things of this world, and give us a vision of the rewards that await us in the world to come when we do Your will. Let us not worry about finances, but rather cast all of our cares upon You, for You care for us. Heal us today spirit, soul, and body so that we might serve You by walking in a victorious Christian life. Let our lights shine so that truly others might see Your love in us. In Jesus' name, we pray, Amen. From: Steven P. Miller @ParkermillerQ,  gatekeeperwatchman.org Founder of Gatekeeper-Watchman International Groups, Saturday, April 27, 2024, Jacksonville, Florida., USA.  X ... @ParkermillerQ #GWIG, #GWIN, #GWINGO, #Ephraim1, #IAM, #Sparkermiller, #Eldermiller1981 GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Sparkermiller.JAX.FL.USA

[justice-is-a-weapon]

In vino veritas [Dazai x gn reader]

·•━━━━━━━⋆⋅☆⋅⋆━━━━━━━•·

Chapter 15 / ?

previous | next

TW: mentions of depression

Walking outside I took a seat right next to the door. I took in the view I was presented with. To my left a run down car. It must’ve stood there for god knows how long, considering it was overtaken by rust, the black paint chipping away. I heard some birds chirp nearby. I, however, was not in the mood for chirping.

I took a look at my watch. 4:38 pm. It had taken me exactly 20 minutes to calm down from the fight. At least I had now calmed down so much as to not bash in Dazai’s face when seeing him again. Now I tried focusing on what exactly he had done to avoid letting him trigger me like that again. I recognized a pattern. Dazai will at first ignore any issue he faces while also being completely aware of it, then, when he needs to actually face it or is confronted with the issue, he may snap. This usually leads to the other person involved giving up when they can make the decision to do so. This is the route I assumed his colleagues usually took. Well, it was the easiest way out. But sometimes the easiest way is not the right one. I took route two: Confronting the issue head on. That was my error. Or maybe it wasn’t. It definitely made Dazai turn directly against me. Dazai is very likely to attack even those who he cares about when he feels threatened. I’d need to stay away for now. No provocation. First thing is making him feel safe, not threatened.

I still need to clean that bathroom though. He needs a shower. Or a bath.

I had also been too harsh on him. Maybe I should apologize. Yes. I will apologize.

I took another deep breath. We both fucked up, I thought. I could check his mailbox while I was at it. Nothing except for some bills to pay, advertising and some sort of weekly news subscription. With that I sat down again, leaning back against the wall, closing my eyes.

I imagined Dazai walking out the door, sitting down next to me. He'd first complain about the bills but he’s also saying sorry in my imagination, sorry for causing me all this trouble. I’d tell him not to be sorry, he’s just feeling intense emotions and this meant stuff like this could follow. I don’t blame him. Although him saying sorry would help me immensely. It’d be proof we’re both merely human.

But I’m taken back into reality.

Dazai is not sitting next to me. Instead I’m met with two long legs. My gaze follows from the brown dress shoes, over the beige dress pants, up to the black collar and lastly his face. I’ve settled on calling his hair “piss blonde” by now. He doesn’t like me anyway.

“So why are you sitting out here? Thought he probably ghosted you too.”

It’s more of a statement than a question.

“Well he did,” I finally answered, “But I’m more of a ‘I’ll break into your house if I need to’ type of person y'know?”

“Makes sense.”

I don’t question his response. An uncomfortable silence follows.

“I know you don’t like me.”

He looks at me, not quite expecting me to talk nor my sudden honesty. I just roll my eyes.

“Don’t act like I can’t be honest for once.”

A pause.

“I know that you know that I don’t like you.”

Now it was my turn to quirk a brow at him. Thankfully he answered my unspoken question.

“Dazai told me.”

This made me whip my head towards him. I hated how much I reacted to the simple mention of Dazai. I suddenly felt a bit caught.

“He gave me quite the verbal beating the day after.”

“He did?”

“I’m usually not afraid of Dazai but he seemed pretty determined to change my mind.”

He took another look at me. I prepared myself, thinking harsh words would follow. Kunikida didn’t like me. He didn’t trust me and I knew it.

But I was surprised.

“I don’t completely hate you. But I don’t like you either.”

He sat down next to me. Right where I imagined Dazai just a minute before.

“Just seeing you sit here tells me you’re determined too. I like determination. It’s part of my ideals. I’m a man that is determined to follow my ideals. They give my life meaning.”

“I’d call that fanaticism.”

“To some it might be yes. But that’s not the point I’m trying to make. I was actually trying to tell you there’s traits I like about you too.”

“Oh wow. Thanks for the compliment.”

I said rather sarcastically. I looked up at him, our eyes meeting for a second. He seemed softer. He was serious.

“Thank you for putting up with him. I know he can get a bit difficult.”

I hadn’t expected such kind words from Kunikida. He then shook his head and continued.

“To be honest I don’t get how or why you do it.”

With that he let out a long sigh and rested his head against the wall, looking towards the sky, then closing his eyes. I exhaled, slightly laughing.

“I just try again and again. Why? Because he’s my friend. Of course he’s an ass but I’ll make sure he’s doing okay.”

“You’re something for sure.”

We sat in silence for a second.

“I miss him too, yknow.”

Silence. Then his eyes widened.

“Please don’t tell him I said that.”

Now this made me laugh.

“Don’t worry. I won’t.”

I wanted to ask him another question but didn’t know if it would be too invasive. After some thinking about it I decided to do it.

“Why are you here though?”

“Mainly to check up on him I guess. But someone beat me to it.”

Again, comfortable silence.

“I used the premise of giving him his work stuff. Mainly a lot of documents. But I really just wanted to see if he’s doing okay.”

For a man so focused on ideals instead of emotion Kunikida seemed to actually have a heart. This made me happy. It was proof that I was not talking to a robot.

“Is… Is he doing okay?”

“I think it’s a depressive episode.”

“Oh… I see.”

“But we’re making progress.”

He looked me up and down.

“If you’re making progress, why are you out here?”

“Sometimes getting your ass kicked is also progress.”

A small chuckle from Kunikida.

“How far did you push him?”

“Insulted me, yelled at me, tried to tell me I’m nothing-“

“Oh I see. He’s frustrated.”

“Very much.”

Again we sit in silence.

“And how are you doing?”

This question made me think. How was I doing? Good? Bad? Something in between? To be honest I had no idea.

“Fine?” Was my final answer but it came out as more of a question than a real answer.

“Take care of yourself.”

I said nothing after that.

“Should I go in again?” I asked quietly. “I don’t want to upset him. Or worse, I could flip at him too. I don’t want that.”

“I know you don’t.”

I looked at him shyly.

“What do you say?”

He chuckled quietly, fixing his glasses.

“Get your ass inside.”

·•━━━━━━━⋆⋅☆⋅⋆━━━━━━━•·

[There it is! The long awaited chapter! Thank you for your patience. For anyone wondering what’s going on in my life please go ahead and read the author’s note. Take care!]

[bellygunnr]

Blood on the Hood

Knight of the Phoenix by Bonnie and KITT's POV. Lotta artistic liberty.

“Well, KITT? What do you think?”

Dr. Bonnie Barstow adjusts the cameras attached to the Knight Industries Two Thousand’s main hub until the attached CRT monitors show the subject in full– a low-slung black car, just pulled into the lab-garage. She turns to busy herself with a different computer while KITT’s hub whirs away, knowing it still needs time to boot up and wrangle its surroundings. This time, she could relate, as the sheer existence of this car meant all of her blueprints and plans were now moot. 

She should have expected it, though. Men like Wilton Knight were capricious, spooked by their own genius. Not that she would ever say that to his face, of course. He paid too well– had too interesting of a vision– for her to risk throwing it all away. And she wouldn’t trust anyone else with the bundle of microprocessors thinking away behind her.

Speaking of, a soft shuffle of static in standing speakers told her to look up at KITT.

“It is not the vehicle I was told about,” he says slowly. “I’m afraid I cannot ID it,” he adds, carefully monotone.

The speakers butcher his voice somewhat, or there’s interference somewhere. Bonnie stares at the mess of connections for a moment before deciding she doesn’t want to adjust them. Too much to do– when he becomes unintelligible, she’ll fix it. The shocking human quality of his voice is not lost either way.

“I think it’s a Pontiac,” Bonnie says. “No idea where the hell it came from. If I’m right, they just dragged it in an hour ago. It’ll be the new you!”

She knows it’s a Pontiac. An ‘82 Firebird, Trans Am, whatever you wanted to call it. A used one, if the dirt clinging to its tires and undercarriage was any indicator. Definitely not the factory-fresh Datsun she’d been imagining or wanting to order– God forbid anything gets done the way she likes.

KITT lapses into silence. She stares him down, gaze locked by the juddering of his camera apparatus and the twitching of his screens. It’s not her best work, but she’d built it herself out of junk from home. KITT somehow always manages to make the best of it anyway.

“What are we looking at?” Bonnie prompts.

He’s zeroed in on the car, tilting the lenses this way and that, until the sloping hood is brought into focus. The overhead lights throw it into a grainy flare on his monitors, so she has no idea what he’s seeing.

“There’s a substance on the hood,” KITT says, animated. “Have you not already inspected the car?”

Bonnie bites back a noise of offense. She’d just woken up!

“I wanted to inspect it together,” she says, snorting. “Let me take a look…”

She hears KITT’s hub whir loudly in tandem with his camera tilting to track her as she approaches the center garage floor. She circles the vehicle once, picking the exterior over for immediate glaring issues before standing before its prow, hand on her hips. From this angle, the metallic glare is less severe.

From this angle, she sees what KITT saw first.

The solid black paint job hides it well, but her eyes pick out the raised edges of, indeed, a substance. Naturally dark, only tangible because it’s dried matte. She debates the pros and cons of touching it with her bare hands. The likelihood of it being motor oil is… not very high, really. The location isn’t right. The texture-by-eye isn’t right. She leans down to scrape her nails through it, breaking up reddish-brown flakes that cake around her fingertips. 

Rust?

No. The car is physically too new for that– and in the Southwest, to boot.

“I’ll be damned,” she says, inspecting the dust further. “It’s blood.”

“Blood?” KITT echoes, his voice picking up a slight accent. “An animal’s?”

“Doubt it!” Bonnie says with faux cheer. “Let’s just get it cleaned up. Goddamn murder scene…”

Don’t ask questions, just do the work, and try not to think about why she’s been given a bloody corpse of a car. 

—

KITT watches in silence as Bonnie begins the tedious work of tearing the vehicle apart. But first, she pops open the driver’s side door and slides inside the car, beyond his limited range of view. She remains inside the vehicle for approximately three minutes and comes out looking… perturbed, he settles on, cross-referencing his data on human faces with his language banks. He waits patiently for her to wander back to his position.

Her hands are full. He coaxes his viewing apparatus into focusing on her hands and attempts to identify what she’s holding. Several papers, an air freshener, a plain black bag, and paper currency.

“Is there any identification?” KITT asks.

“Unfortunately,” Bonnie sighs. “But there wasn’t much else. I…”

He again waits, but she trails off into silence. The situation is bothering her. She’d dedicated a good portion of her time to a select plan that was now ruined. But that wasn’t everything, he realizes ponderously. Perhaps the bigger issue was that she had to find these items at all. Items like this– human clutter– implied life.

Life didn’t factor into the original plan. Not like this.

She thumbs through the papers, muttering too quietly for his microphone to decipher. He shoves his camera back toward the car. Should he tell Bonnie how laborious the machine is? No, probably not. His time with it was now limited. He’d deal, as he’s heard her put it.

There’s nothing outwardly special about the vehicle except the blood and the lack of badges. It’s a perfectly normal sports car, low to the ground and slender in physique. Probably light and agile. He’s sure it’d be quite fetching in any other lighting, but the garage fluorescents make it look quite gaunt. Miserable, even, but that notion is irrational. 

Then again, finding the vehicle attractive without human prompting is also irrational, but that part of his programming he is unable to isolate. 

Bonnie steps back into view with a slight hunch to her shoulders. She pops the hood, then disconnects it from the car completely, followed by the battery. Despite the current dilemma, she still carries herself with a dogged confidence, briskly executing her tasks.

“Bonnie,” KITT starts, a near whisper. “Would it not expedite the process to have someone help you?”

She shakes a fist of rubber hoses in his direction, an aimless gesture of acknowledgement.

“Sure would, KITT, but it’s two in the morning and I’m not doing that to my techs.”

The engine bay threatens to swallow her voice. KITT strains to hear. Perhaps the vehicle will be a good thing, if it means getting out of this sluggish monolith. 

“How can I be of assistance, then?” KITT asks, raising his voice slightly.

“Just do you, KITT, and tell me if I miss anything,” Bonnie replies gruffly.

“Of course, Bonnie.”

Just do “him”, huh? KITT chews on the concept, then turns inward, toward the open ends of his various inputs and connections. He’s not supposed to have any, but a server he’s cabled into has an errant line to the elaborate estate network.

He dives into himself and investigates.

—

Cameras and phone lines and computers and a dozen other devices make up the Knight security net. KITT skates through all of it, moving quickly both to evade detection and outrun his guilty conscience. He’s been caught before, but this time…

It’s different. 

This involves him in a way he doesn’t understand yet. 

He picks through the security footage and pins the function in place, knowing he can’t multitask without alerting Bonnie to his raised performance. His programming twinges again, a sharp cascade of errors that he instantly dismisses. He’ll reason with his kernel later.

Thankfully, the video he’s searching for is recent. An hour and a half, approximately. He watches a helicopter land beyond the perimeter of the mansion and people rush to meet it. Wilton Knight climbs out readily, always a soft spot in his circuits, but the real curiosity is the body they fold out onto a gurney.

He drops the process and starts rooting through the interior security system. Quickly, but stealthily. He’s part of the network– and infinitely more complex and skilled– but several components are configured to squawk at his presence. It’s… exhilarating… to weave around them. 

He follows the gurney in patchy, uneven jumps. The body is whisked away– into the part of the mansion roped off as an infirmary. 

KITT delicately extricates himself from the estate network. The urge to continue searching is strong, just to drive home his new data, but the longer he stays the higher the risk of being detected or interrupted. Bonnie will be mad if she finds out– and Mr. Knight and Mr. Miles will be duly disappointed as well.

That alone is too much to handle.

But he’s not sure if it’s comforting or disconcerting that the owner of this vehicle, now in the latter stages of preparation, is alive. He’s alive, incapacitated, and in the care of Mr. Knight’s medical team, which means the blood on the car is most likely human and– well.

He’s programmed to extrapolate, but he strongly dislikes the implications.

KITT watches oil and gasoline pour out of the vehicle pensively.

He hates the implications.

But what else is there to conclude?

[starvy]

tagged to put my 'on repeat' playlist on shuffle & list first 5 songs for people to vote on. thank uu @vzajemnik 🫶💖🏳️‍⚧️

tagging ! @pogrzeb-serc @thrashunderpressure @itslookingback @transeksualizm @affishionado

[normmacdonald]

Norm MacDonald on Bob Dylan Pt II

"He mostly listens to music now, but when he talks, it's like poetry. But he's done writing it down. His eyes are narrow as hell and his voice is rough from years of fine whiskey. It's his birthday but you wouldn't know it. He doesn't believe in such things.

He doesn't like shaking hands. When you've had to do it a million times, you let your hand go limp, so the other guy follows suit. He thinks he's just a vessel, a cipher. But he knows he's the best by far. And he knows he'll be the best there ever was. But, for now, he just listens to other music. He nods a lot, but sometimes winces at a bad line. Not that I would know which is the bad line and which isn't.

Told him I saw Neil Diamond. No response, frightening stare.

He likes CDs, hates vinyl, hates people who like vinyl. Won't sign his name or stand for a picture. He says he's said all he ever has to say and I can see what he means. A man who's given all the great words he has and now stays silent.

I got lots of songs I wrote through the years. Too scared to show him. Too scared to show [mutual friend] Billy Joe [Shaver], too. But Billy Joe, he said, show them to me. But not him. He has no interest. I guess, even after all this time, I know the fellow in the guard shack better. Don't know why I get summoned to silence. Billy Joe, when I'm with him, it's like he could fight me at any minute, just for the fun of it, but not him.

He asks me questions about my jokes, and I don't know how he knows them. He quotes some sometimes, always without laughter, and a stare as hard as kerosene.

'You ever vote,' says I.

'Never. Against anyone with power over me, why should I vote a man in so he can have power over me?' says he.

'What about a God, then?' says I.

'What day is it today?' says he, and, finally, the shadow of a smile crosses his worn countenance. I know if he's gonna talk, this is about the only thing of interest. He likes music but won't talk about it. Not with the likes of me. Not with the likes of me.

We went out once. Out of the house. Me and him and a guy named Ray and another man driving and he looked out the window at the world. I know he used to walk the streets, and I know he used to love that. But now the world was what he saw through tinted windows. Tinted windows in the back seat of a long, long car. Tinted windows in the back seat of a car.

The driver got us burgers from in and out. When we finished eating he decided he'd tell a story. I always thought he liked me because I hardly ever talk. All I ever really do is listen. And he told a story, a story about a shark. And he said he knew a man who was a session man and a shark took away that man's arm.

And just as his story ended, the car stopped and a one-armed man come running from his house and jumps in the car. And he smiles at the one-armed man. And he says, 'Tell these boys the story, the whole story.' And so the one-armed man does and we are all spellbound. All but him, who looks out the window with his baleful stare.

And now so many ones have vanished, so many have been banished, so many simply died, and now it's just him and me. If you never break the rules, then you will earn his trust. If you break them, you're as dead as rust.

What I like about him most is he's impressed by nothing and nobody. He says all music is owned by everyone, and the writer don't own what he gives away. I don't even know if he knows how old he is. He's doing real well, that much I know."

Norm posted this on Twitter in 2015, sometime shortly after posting part I, and then deleted it a few hours later.

For context, he and Bob really were mutual fans of each other and it seems to be true that Norm once spent two days at Bob's house. But to exactly what extent this is real and to what extent it's an avid fan's satire of Bob's public image we will never know.

[rosetheex-editor]

[Video transcript begin.]

[The video starts from a table. Two sets of footsteps can be heard as well as hair being brushed, one set of footsteps stop as a person recognized as Rose can be heard taking a drink of water, then talking.]

Rose: you almost ready?

?: Yep! Just need to… get my shoes on.

[Voice identified: Edgar.]

R: should i wear a helmet?

[Edgar laughs heartily, this lasts for 13 seconds.]

Edgar: Do you not trust my driving skills?

R: Edgar… you almost hit a man… also helmets can also protect against gunshots. better safe than sorry.

E: Okay, the guy I almost hit wasn’t an accident. I was given 20 dollars to do it, so I had to follow through with my part of the deal.

[Rose picks up her phone, the camera picking up a glimpse of her face, looking confused at edgar. Before sticking the phone in her shirt pocket, and walking.]

R: what?

E: Er, long story, someone gave me 20 dollars to run over Daniel. So I tried to.

R: edgar… that is stupid, but whatever. I gave myself a headache earlier worrying too much, i’m not about to get another one.

E: Shit, we’d better get going, then. We need to get your mind off of this stuff quickly, or else you might explode!

R: yeah.

[The two start leaving Edgar in front of Rose, Rose grabs a helmet on the way out the door as Edgar unlocks it and opens the door. The two walk out and head to the stairs.]

R: fuck, I forgot I'm on crutches… um help?

E: Hm. Well, we could either use the elevator, or I can carry you down. It’s your choice.

R: i don't trust that elevator, so yeah, carry me i guess.

[Edgar nods, and picks Rose up. After a few seconds, the two begin descending the stairs.]

R: um, thanks… i appreciate it.

E: Hey, it’s no problem. Really.

R: yeah i um… christ, i need to get my mind off everything, and have fun.

E: Don’t worry, this’ll be fun. I swear.

R: yeah… i, um… fuck i say that a lot. huh?

E: Maybe, but sometimes familiar words can be nice to say. We’re almost at the bottom, by the way.

R: yeah um… thanks again… i dunno what i would do without you… or A… or ness… or…

[The camera moves as Edgar places Rose down, using one arm to make sure she doesn’t fall during the transition to standing again.]

E: Neither do I.

R: fair… god, i hope ness gets me that new wheelchair soon like she said, these crutches fucking SUCK!

E: I’m sure she will, Rose. And yeah, I can see how the crutches would be annoying.

R: I HAD TO USE MY ELBOW TO GRAB THE LEMONADE!

[Edgar snorts as they walk out to where the car is parked.]

E: Sorry, sorry. It’s not funny, but the way you said it caught me off guard.

R: well… i'm glad i made you laugh!

[The camera moves to see the car, A truck with a back seat area. It looks old and kind of rusted, Rose sighs and looks at Edgar.]

R: edgar… why is this truck older than you?

E: Hey, don’t be mean! I think it’s awesome!

R: yeah it's cool, sure… but it's still old as fuck.

E: Look on the bright side! If it’s older, maybe it’ll be easier for me to remember how to drive it!

[Despite her face not being visible Rose sounds distraught.]

R: bruh… HOW THE FUCK!? maybe i really did need the helmet.

E: Well, before you can start having any regrets, we should get going. Come on! There’s room in the back for your crutches!

R: COOL! I CALL SHOTG- i get the seat next to you!

E: Alright, you need any help getting in?

[Rose looks at Edgar, looks down the camera jolting to her knees, one is a little bit taller than the other. Rose looks back at Edgar before speaking.]

R: yes.

[Edgar does a small fake salute to Rose, grinning. Before going to help her get into the car.]

R: just, like, be carefu- AH!

[The camera jolts as Edgar picks Rose up quickly, and places her in the front seat of the pickup truck. He moves the crutches to the back, then gets into the driver's seat.]

R: do the seatbelts work?

E: I’d hope so.

[Rose puts the seatbelt on, her hands visibly sweating, she speaks under her breath. Before sighing again.]

R: thank god…

E: Alright… Let’s see if I remember how to do this…

R: edgar… didn't you just say you tried to hit a man with THIS TRUCK! i knew you hit your head a lot but damn!

E: I barely moved it that time! I didn’t even leave the parking lot! Let me focus, unless you want me to crash!

[Rose nods her head moving the phone in her pocket, the camera facing the windshield as Rose visibly shivers.]

R: good point.

[The view shakes, as Edgar accidentally accelerates too quickly. He slams on the breaks, laughing. He turns on the radio.]

R: I HIT MY HEAD YOU ASSHOLE! :(

E: Haven’t really driven in 24 years, so…

R: edgar… that hurt so bad my disappointment is audible. fucking hell

E: Get your audible disappointment outta here! I’m getting back into the groove! Gimme a moment!

[He manages to back the car out of the parking spot without hitting a pedestrian, and beams at Rose.]

R: good job? what do you want me to say?

[Edgar’s expression changes to a comical frown, his lips twitch upwards as he tries not to laugh.]

[Rose laughs at Edgar's silly face, moving the camera to the windshield, setting it in a way it faces both of them. Rose keeps laughing until eventually stopping.]

[Edgar squints at the steering wheel, thinking. Before he sits up straighter and begins to leave the parking lot.]

R: just, please be careful.

E: I would say ‘careful is my middle name’ or something, but that’d be wrong. It’s Elliot. So, no promises of being careful. Sorry!

[He grins as he accelerates a little more.]

[Rose looks disappointed at Edgar's joke.]

[As they drive, Edgar starts to look a little more confident in his ability to maneuver the car, and starts a conversation with Rose a few minutes in.]

E: So.

R: what?

E: That Ness kid is nice.

[His lips twitch upwards in a slight grin. He glances at Rose.]

R: um… yeah! she's really nice!

E: You also seem to have posted a few interesting things on your blog a while back.

[Rose begins turning red. looking more and more like the flower she is named after.]

R: what are you talking about? i dunno anything about that!

E: I just want to say, I support you no matter what. So if you want to… you know. I’m fine with it. Not like I had a say in that in the first place. But I want you to know that you have people who are there to back you up.

R: edgar… thanks… and um. sorry about getting drunk and saying stuff about ropes and um… yeah.

[Rose looks like a tomato, she tries to look away from edgar.]

E: You don’t need to apologize. I just wish you’d done it with someone to supervise you nearby.

[Edgar notices the radio is playing ‘Living on a Prayer’ and turns the volume up somewhat. But it’s still quiet enough to hear the conversation.]

R: i mean mari's sister was there!... to see me extremely flustered and fall through a table.

E: She’s 15, doesn’t count.

R: yeah, fair.

[Rose begins laughing, still extremely red. But at least laughing.]

[Edgar smiles, his eyebrows raise as he realizes that the song is approaching the chorus on the radio. He begins to sing along, rolling down a window and turning the volume up once again.]

E: Come on, Rose! You should join in! It’s a good song!

R: i don't know the song… i didn't listen to music until… the mall y'know?

E: Huh, that’s a little sad. Try to fumble along, it’s fun even if you don’t know the lyrics.

[Rose begins trying to fumble along, failing pretty miserably but at least trying.]

[It finally hits the main chorus, and Edgar’s voice raises in volume, a wide grin across his face, wind blowing his hair around, eyes glinting.]

[Rose has to scream over the wind and music, though she still smiles, looking at edgar.]

R: YOU’RE REALLY GOOD AT SINGING!

E: THANKS, ROSE!

[Edgar’s eyes light up at something out of frame, and he turns the steering wheel abruptly.]

R: WOAH!

E: Finally! I found a good spot!

[As Edgar pulls into wherever he’s decided was a ‘good spot’ it becomes increasingly apparent that it’s an empty parking lot. The first chorus ending.]

R: is this a fucking sonic? edgar why are we in the sonic parking lot?

[Edgar turns to rose, a very wild smile on his face.]

E: Oh, I just wanted to see what this old thing could do!

R: edgar please–

[Rose is interrupted as Edgar abruptly shifts the car's gear and slams his foot on the gas pedal, flinging the two of them backwards into their seats.]

R: AH! EDGAR PLEASE!

[Edgar responds only with wild laughter, as he begins to do donuts in the pickup truck. The same song blaring over the radio. It reaches the chorus a second time, the music is turned up even louder.]

[Rose grabs the truck door, eyes shut. unintelligible screaming, as well as Rose shaking her head. Having to shout over the music and Edgar’s loud laughter to be heard.]

R: EDGARPLEASESTOP

E: WOO!!

R: THIS… IS REALLY DUMB! BUT I'M GLAD YOU’RE HAPPY!

[Rose is only met with more gleeful cackles, Edgar is grinning ear to ear like a madman as he twists the steering wheel chaotically.]

R: OKAY! THIS IS ACTUALLY KINDA FUN!

E: I KNOW, RIGHT? I USED TO DO IT ALL THE TIME WHEN I WAS YOUNGER!

R: GOD, WHY DID YOU DO COOL SHIT WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER!? I MOSTLY JUST WATCHED SAILOR MOON AND PLAYED MARIO RPG!

E: THE SECRET TO DOING STUFF LIKE THIS WHEN YOU’RE YOUNGER IS TO DO IT BECAUSE IT’S FUNNY! I STARTED DRIVING AT 13 BECAUSE OF THAT!

R: MY MOM DIDN'T REALLY LET ME LEAVE BECAUSE OF THE KIDS AT MY SCHOOL, BUT I'M STILL YOUNG, SO THANKS FOR THE TIP!

E: LET’S GET YOUR FUCKING CHILDHOOD BACK, ROSE! WOO!

R: YEAH! WOOHOO!

[Transcript end.]

[chemsexholmes]

This one specifically

[bonnie-barstow-of-flag]

Loose ends of fiction

((potentially turn this into a fan fic))

The brunette allows her tongue to traverse along the subtle craters of her teeth in an effort to bite back the sarcasm welling up inside of her. Her studious and well trained orbs fix upon the thing Rc3 affectionately called his ‘bike’. The motorcycle was something of an abysmal sight, looking more like an object dragged straight from a junkyard than a reliable mode of transportation. “I’m sorry, Rc. I’m going to have to side with Devon on this one. It looks like a death-trap.”  A death-trap held together with duct-tape and glue much like a kindergartener’s art project.

A tentative glance is cast around the semi and were it a smidgen warmer, Bonnie might have broken out in a sweat. “Are you sure that it’ll be safe for me to ride on the back with you?” Her fingers pawed the helmet he handed her with a sense of dread and apprehension. She much preferred things that ran with four-wheels. However, if this was the only way to stop their enemy, then she might have to bite the bullet.

Shifting in his place, the former Street Avenger considered Bonnie. Rc3 can sense her unease as palpable as if, it were the pulse beneath his own skin. Sure, the bucket of bolts didn’t look like much. Yet, when it ran, man, was it beautiful!!! If only she could employ a little more of her active imagination! The rust did not negate it’s overall value. In his mind, it gave the bike character. Besides, he and the bike had been through a lot together. Gesticulating towards his beloved motorcycle he reassures them with great confidence, “this bike will be up and purring like a cool cat. Don’t worry, Bonnie, it’s just as safe as riding with KITT and Michael.” Taking notice of her conflicted countenance, he flashes her an encouraging smile in an effort to sway her opinion. 

(((Insert Kitt having a protest and some statistical evidence that motorcycles are nto as safe as cars. calling transportation on two wheels unnatural.))

Nervous fingers glide across the sturdy rim of the helmet, her own turquoise orbs drifting from Devon, to Kitt, to Michael, and then back to Rc. Briefly, the brunette chews the corner of her lip. “That’s exactly what I’m afraid of,” she counters. While Rc3 indicated that the bike would be purring like a cat, she couldn’t help but wonder which specific kind. After all, some cat’s purrs were more alarming than others. Still, he deserved to have some level of confidence instilled in him! He and his buddies had done a fantastic job with helping her to rebuild Kitt. Bonnie wished she could turn off the corridor of her mind screaming logistics and risk statistics but it can not be overridden. >>>Especially, not when Kitt’s words were bottled up, echoeing inside her cranium>>>

Meeting Rc3′s warm, hot chocolate shaded hues dead-on, Bonnie feels herself surrendering with a begrudging sigh. “We have to have it up and running by tomorrow if we’re going to provide assistance to Michael and Kitt.” She replies, trying to bury the worry ensnared in her tone. “Think you could have it done by then?”

Sensing a challenge, his lips depart with a widened grin. “Could I?” He parrots, eyes twinkling with wild mischief. “Your wish is my command. Just think of yourself as Cinderella and I’m your God-brotha.” His firm hand finds the slope of her shoulder. “It may not look like much now but just you wait. I won’t let anything happen to you.” 

Eyes trail away to lock questioningly on Michael at Rc3′s rather humorous analogy. Her jaw shifts slightly, trying to read Knight’s lovely azures for any sign that she should actively protest the offer. However, all she could analyze in those blistering hot blue eyes was an air of approval. Not quite sure she could trust him, she turns towards the Foundation’s patriarch. 

Devon’s topaz eyes shown with hesitancy. He was not entirely sure she should put herself in that predicament however, this case was urgent and he needed all of his agents operating in the field. He gifts Bonnie the courtesy of a nod indicating that the choice rested solely upon her own shoulders. 

Surrendering, a sigh departs her lips. 

[jessica-pinkwood]

The perfect dinner.

CONTENT WARNING: CANNIBALIZM, DESCRIPTION OF VIOLENCE. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me and my team had just finished tracking down that damn rat, Markus. He was a traitor, a cold-blooded manslaughter machine that had a silver tongue strong enough to make himself into a mafia leader. But now, it's ironic to see him lie beneath my feet motionlessly. I watched the blood from the bullet wound on his forehead slowly drip out with utter satisfaction. He had killed my brother, the person I could trust my life with.

But of course, after days of chasing that bastard, we soon realized he had led us to a rather deserted place. No fret though, we have our radars. The only problem is that we ran out of bullets and there are no signals. We're in the middle of butt fuck nowhere, the only thing visible was the concrete road with barely any cars passing by. There were no street lights, just a couple of houses miles away which were mostly abandoned.

The city was a whole 35km away, impossible to reach by foot. But it was best we tried. The rain was pouring like a storm, causing me and my four teammates to have to struggle to even stand. But we pushed through with the little hope we had, and we soon found a large rundown old mansion... With it's lights on.

Oh thank god.

I quickly look over at Callum, who was the support in our team; infamous for his great aim and a large apatite, nothing unusual for a big muscular gym rat like him. The only guy with a better aim was our sniper Zayne; he's a gunman, ask him anything about guns and he'll tell you the whole history of anyone that even breathed on said model even if he was bleeding out; odd fellow, but very useful. The last member was Shawn; she's our main shooter and my left hand; a great survivor expert to say the least.

Our team was amazing, but also starving and thirsty. And we all knew we couldn't survive any longer with nothing but knives and empty guns. So as soon as we saw a glimmer of hope, we had no choice but to catch it. I was the first to approach the large gates; it was made out of metal, but the black paint was worn out and all rusted due to the lack of maintenance. My eyes searched for a way to contact from inside. Calling? No, with this weather a man can get killed and no one would hear his screams. Knocking? The gates aren't really suitable for such a thing.

But then I looked up to see an old doorbell hanging from above. Much like the house and the gates, it looked old and on the brink of breaking. It had a golden brown look but still looked like it was working. Good enough.

After a few moments of hesitating and letting the fear of being electrocuted wash over me, I took the risk and pushed the doorbell and hoped for the best. Thank god it didn't shock me to death, but what's shocking is that the damn thing still works.

I chuckled and sighed upon realizing no one had answered. Seems like a lost cause. So with my hands on my hips, I turned to face everyone with a defeated smile of encouragement on my face as I looked at my teammate's disappointed expressions.

"I guess our luck had just run out..."

I smacked my lips and was about to walk away when all of a sudden when I lifted my head, I saw two wide black eyes staring back at me. I flinched back a bit as I looked at the woman's face. She had a skinny figure with big black eyes, with no pupils. It felt like I was staring into a void. Her crooked wide smile was as if she was grinning from ear to ear, her lips stained with bright red lipstick and her face was completely white. She looked like Queen Victoria in the Victorian era.

"Yes?"

She greeted, tilting her head to the side as she continued to glue her eyes onto mine. It was rather creepy...

"Excuse me miss, can me and my friends stay for a while? We're-"

I started to speak, in hopes of asking for help as I darted my eyes away for a moment, but then the strange woman cut me off before I could even finish my sentence. Her voice was flat, dead almost, but it was high pitched and feminine as if she was trying to sound... Human?

"Oh of course, of course, you poor poor young souls. Come in."

She quickly opened her gate and invited us in, but she never seemed to want to break eye contact at all. The rust of the gate could be heard through the storm as it was dragged on the ground. It was so weird seeing this woman standing out here letting us in without an umbrella to protect her from the rain. 

Somethings are just better left unanswered I suppose.

With a slight nod, we quickly entered the front yard of the mansion and jogged towards the front door to grab some shelter. That woman didn't follow us however as she needed to close the gate. But when I turned around I could've sworn I saw her staring back at me. When I blinked all I saw was her back as she pushed the gates closed.

The starvation must have been getting to my head, how funny.

I chuckled to myself before shaking my head and turning around to see the woman now standing in front of us with no hint of being affected by the rain. But wasn't she just standing at the gates a few seconds ago? We didn't even see her pass by us as she-

"Come, I'll show you your rooms."

The woman blankly said before quickly turning around and began to walk away towards the stairs. This woman is so strange. We exchanged glances with each other, getting the same eerie feeling as we shrugged our shoulders and walked inside the house.

The insides were nothing out of the ordinary for a mansion that seemed to be built during World War 2. Unlike the outside, the inside looked to be in decent condition. The light green wallpaper and white little flower patterns looked great and suited the aesthetic well. But the wooden floorboards are so creaky, sinking a bit with each step we took. It was like the floor could break at any time, felt like we were all walking on eggshells.

Callum scratched the side of his beard for a second before pushing away his suspicions and began to make conversation while we followed behind the woman since the others were too busy looking around and observing the place.

"So, uhm, Miss..."

"Candy."

"Y-Yes, Miss Candy, how long have you been living here?"

Callum questioned politely out of curiosity. But yet he got no reply as we made our way down the long hallway. It was rather rude of her to ignore his question like that, but he's not the nosy type, so he decided not to pry further and just chose to stay silent since it was obvious Miss Candy didn't like small talk.

"Here you are. The two rooms to the right are the guest bedrooms. Make yourself at home while I make you some dinner."

Miss Candy unlocked the doors with her keychain as she spoke.

"Thank you so much, Miss Candy."

I thanked her out of gratitude. Although the house and her alone felt a bit eerie and creepy, it's still better than being stranded outside in the cold storm, not like we had much of a choice anyway. Miss Candy stepped aside as she looked up at me with her usual empty black eyes. But her smile looked a bit faded as if she had almost dropped her smile for a split second before answering back to me.

"No worries, child."

And just like that, she left as soon as she finished her sentence.

We entered our rooms and closed the doors after agreeing that I should share a room with Shawn while Callum and Zayne stayed together. Inside the medium-sized room were two single-sized beds that looked to be old hospital beds; and two large wooden closets with one facing the door and the other facing the makeup table at the other side of the room. Between the beds was a small bedside table with an old lamp sitting on top of it.

The room was dimly lit with candles, and old lamps/ wall lamps. It gave off a feeling of unease, but the most weirdest thing was all of the windows inside the house were boarded from the outside for some reason.

"This feels so..."

Shawn commented, leaving her statement hanging in the air as her green eyes darted around the room. I turned my head over to look at her and raised an eyebrow as I continued her sentence.

"Eerie? Yeah, thought so too. This place is old and rundown. It's a surprise they still have electricity and running water being in such a condition..."

"It feels kind of bad judging like this. I guess I'm just paranoid."

She added along with a soft sigh before shaking her head and continuing to look around. The walls here are rather thin, almost at the brink of crumbling. Maybe thanks to that, Callum could contact us from his room without having to knock on our doors.

"Hey, I got a stack of pokers. Wanna join?"

"Fuck yeah, I'm bored out of my mind!"

I quickly accepted before waving my hand towards me and headed to the door, motioning for Shawn to come with me before we left the room and went over...

"And another score for me. Man, you guys suck at this game!"

Zayn chuckled softly as he placed down his cards on the floor with a smirk of a winner on his face. Callum groaned in annoyance while Shawn and I congratulated him... For the millionth time.

"Maybe you're just a cheater who has 5 cards up his ass."

Callum grumbled out of spite as he threw his cards on the floor in utter defeat, letting Shawn gather the cards before beginning to shuffle the deck for a new round. But before Shawn could pass out the cards, a voice could be heard calling us from below the stairs. It was Miss Candy again, who could not recognize that... That unique, voice of hers.

"Children, dinner is ready. I prepared extra meals for Callum tonight, so come on down before it gets cold."

"Great! Let's go eat guys!"

Callum giggled from excitement as our hearts dropped to the floor.

"What? Why are you guys so tense all of a sudden? There's food!"

Callum chuckled, oblivious to what Miss Candy just said. We shared a nervous glance before Zayn cleared his throat and placed a hand on Callum's shoulder, lowering his voice as he spoke in a more serious tone.

"Callum... None of us ever said our names."

The big guy paused, his eyebrows narrowing a bit before his eyes widened in realization. How did the lady know his name?! And what the actual fuck is going-

"Children, the food is getting cold."

"We're coming, give us a minute."

Shawn shouted back, trying to act as if nothing was happening and that we were a bunch of idiotic fools. Right now we had no choice, so we all stood up and walked down those stairs and into the dining room with a cautious mind and a heavy heart.

We entered the dining room, it was a medium-sized room with a large round wooden table that looked rather ancient, the cloth on it was covered in loose stitches and scratches. But they don't look like scratches from a cat... The lights were more lit up compared to the other lights inside the house, but it was so bright it almost felt like it could burst any second. It never did, thankfully. The large window in the room was boarded up, and the carpet on the floor was so dirty we could barely tell the color of it, we could only guess it was a yellow or red carpet.

But the thing that caught our eyes the most was Miss Candy, standing near a seat on the other side of the room, next to a man who seemed to be paralyzed, and a little kid who seemed to be in her teenage years that is mute. The three of them were staring daggers at us, Miss Candy had her usual empty black eyes, her husband his dead icy baby blues, and her daughter gave us a soulless stare.

We decided not to comment about it as we sat down on our chairs, clenching down our teeth as we sat uncomfortably with the nails perching through the cushions and pressing against our thighs and buttocks. In front of us was a rather... Normal-looking vegetable stew with chopped meat, potatoes, carrots and onions. The meal was rather nice, warm enough to not be too hot or too cold, heck, it was the only thing normal about this place. And it made us relax a bit.

"It tastes amazing Miss Candy!"

Callum squealed politely as he devoured the whole plate. Every one of us was enjoying our meals, happy that our empty stomachs were now finally full. Callum, being the fatass that he was, asked for another plate, causing Miss Candy to widen her smile in 'delight' as she excused herself and went back to the kitchen.

But that's when Shawn suddenly used her elbow to nudge my arm as she pointed at the girl and her husband. I looked over at them closely, drinking some more soup as I was nearly finished with my bowl when my eyes widened... Gosh, the girl wasn't mute, her mouth was sewn shut. Her husband kept on tapping on the table repeatedly in an unusual paste, no no... It was Morse code. Us special forces were forced to learn this throughout our training in case of special situations that needed special ways of communication. 

He kept on tapping on the table repeatedly, his eyes boring into ours as if he were crying for help... But not for him.

".-. ..- -. .-.-.- / .... ..- -- .- -. / ... - . .-- .-.-.-"

I can feel my stomach turning.

We glanced over at each other nervously, our hands clenching over the rusty old spoons in our hands as we signaled "DANGER" to each other by our eyes. But we knew we couldn't just fight our way out of here... I mean, if this crazy- Miss Candy can murder enough people to cook a whole large pot that even Callum can't even finish then she must be very good with her tactics... We also couldn't hurl our guts out at the table. We needed the energy; our stomachs needed the food and no one wants their hard work to be discarded.

We didn't have much choice, none of us is up for hand-to-hand combat, we don't know how many traps this woman had set up and we were out of fucking bullets running from Markus's remaining loyal dogs. So the only choice we had was to... Swallow down our vomit, sit still, and look pretty.

"I'm sorry... Were there milk in here Miss Candy?"

Zayn started, holding his stomach and twisting his skin as if he was in awful pain. God, he's going to get us killed! What the fuck are you doing Zayn?! Wh-

"Yes, why?"

Zayn shut your mouth.

"I'm lactose intolerant... I can't use dairy products such as milk and cheese and..."

Oh my days Zayn shut up.

"...I understand, child. Do you need to use the bathroom?"

"Yes please, that would be great. I might need my friends to come along. It's getting late, we might need the sleep..."

"..."

She doesn't look happy. We're fucked. We're going to never see the light of day again and instead of the sun, we're going to see chili peppers. Thanks a lot, dickface.

"Alright. I'll clean up."

...Oh... Never mind Zayn I love him so much he's the best member of the group he's such a genius I love him.

And just like that, Miss Candy, although obviously not pleased that we couldn't poison ourselves with human stew, she still nodded her head and agreed to let us go. Maybe she just wanted to keep the meat fresh for her next sick and twisted batch of "food". Who knows what the fuck is going on in that insane head of hers?

But if there's something we do know, is that we needed to get the fuck out of here. Who could've known Zayn can lie out of his ass like a professional trickster? We all know someone who's lactose intolerant would never risk a 7-hour bathroom session for bags of soft mango cake rolls. 

We quickly, but quietly, made our way upstairs to where the bedrooms were located, closing and locking the door gently behind us as we took a moment to calm ourselves down and catch a breath. God, what a mess we had gotten ourselves into?

"So, what do we do now?" Zayn questioned, sitting on the edge of the bed while his teeth bit the dry skin around his dehydrated lips.

"We need to get the fuck out obviously you dingus." Callum scowled, keeping his voice low as he spoke. Who knows who's listening on the other side of these thin walls?

"Yeah, but how?"

The room grew silent as we glanced at each other, unable to come up with an answer. As the silence grew heavy on our shoulders, I slowly approached my group sitting together near the bed and slowly sat down, whispering to them what had come to mind.

After minutes of whispering and chatter, we agreed that we would escape and burn this place to ashes, even if it meant losing our lives here. So, we quickly packed our things and began to leave. No need to hide the fact that we were planning to leave, we had our bags boldly hung on our bodies, our suits strapped tightly onto our clothes, and our masks now covering our faces.

"Leaving so soon?" Miss Candy questioned as she stood from underneath the stairs, her hands bawled up tightly behind her and her fake smile now gone cold and drifted away from her lips.

"Yes. An emergency came up." I replied, holding back a chuckle and pretending that I didn't see that knife she was hiding behind her back. Although I was sort of scared shitless, I still found the situation rather amusing.

"Oh, what a shame. Aren't you guys going to stay just a bit longer for dessert? The storm is rather..." Candy continued, trying hard to play coy as her hand gripped the handle of her knife behind her back.

But it was too late, Zayn had already approached the door and was about to push it open just to realize something. He quickly turned around, and with a sharp intimidating glare in his eyes, he slowly spoke.

"The doors are locked." He stated, almost growling as he slowly let go of the door handle. "Open it for us please, Miss Candy."

Such a nice gentleman he is, ain't it?

Oh but of course the lady wasn't happy that her next meal was going to escape, she wouldn't let them go that easily now, would she? So, finally, she yanked the knife out from her back and held it up in a tight grip, about to slash one of us to bits when she suddenly stopped, her eyes widening in shock and fury as she stared daggers at us... No,

At me.

Her eyes glared up at my stone-cold face, her eyes slowly darting up to the cold barrel of my pistol pointed at her forehead. Suddenly she wasn't as bold as she was two seconds ago. The truth was, the gun wasn't loaded, and like I said before we ran out of bullets.

But she didn't know that, and frankly, she didn't need to know that.

"The door, Miss Candy." I sternly stated, pointing at the front door with my head, my eyes never leaving hers.

Thankfully, she cooperated, slowly yet grumpily made her way to the front door and unlocked it, but her movements were so fucking slow it took everything inside of me to not bash her head right here and now just to grab the keys and unlock it myself. But, skip the chats and the yapping, the door was finally unlocked and we left the place in one piece, thankfully.

So we booked it, and we ran and ran until we felt like we were running on glass shards that were piercing our skin. We didn't look back, we couldn't look back, so we just ran and prayed we never see that building or her horrifying face look back at us ever again...

[ithinkimjustaghost]

The sound of crickets and tree frogs ringing in my ears

Is so nostalgic

The lump in my throat expanding

Until it rips me wide open

And I’m weeping

It keeps on coming back to me

Playing on repeat

The regrets are getting louder and louder

And I don’t know what I am doing anymore

At an impasse again and I don’t know what to do

This line…. this damn song… “A little girl who needs her daddy real bad…”

It rings on repeat when I sleep

I just want to fix this broken perception

I don’t want to be in pain anymore

And I don’t know how to stop it

It gets harder and harder

To get out of bed

To not give up

To not feel like

I ruined every possible chance I’ve ever had

And here I am

37

Working a retail job I can’t stand

Preaching beautiful words that I cannot follow myself

It’s so much easier to see for everyone else

But, I’m blind to myself

I try to take care of you

But I don’t know how to

No, not anymore

And what would you do?

If it wasn’t this life

This body

This time

How would you change it??

Can you fix it?

Will I ever feel whole again?

I’ve written endlessly about it

I feel stuck and broken

This mind

It’s killing me

I just want them all around me

To tell me that they love me

That they do no matter what

I want to shake this child inside of me

Stop this…

Just stop this…

Please…stop

I know you feel afraid

I know you feel so alone

And I keep asking you to trust me

And you resist and resist

Push me away

I feel it all in my chest

Cardiac arrest

My heart

Begging for warmth

Receiving

And rejecting

I feel like Ill break at any minute

Get in my car and just start driving

But I don’t like to be alone

And I don’t want to be here with you

I have no money

Raising you to be proper

Getting you better prepared

For the woman who finds you next

It’s just history

This allegory, big ol’  facade

It’s just the way it goes

I don’t want to be your mommy anymore

I don’t want you to act out like my daddy

I see the moments

Where you revert back

When you cry

And stomp your feet

It isn’t fair is it?

You never asked for any of this

You tell me that you’re happy

The empty bottles say otherwise

5 day binge…

tell me something honey

how do you still have legs to stand over and correct me?

From where I’m standing you’re full of words

And very little action

A little boy

Crying out for some attention

A little boy who never felt love properly

And I a little girl who feels abandoned by everyone and everything

And here we sit

Bonded by assault

Thick as thieves in jail cells

How did we get here?

Will we ever get out?

I wan to have faith in you

I want to believe you

But I know better

I know you lie to me

Because I lie to you

I know you don’t trust me

I don’t trust you

I know like me

You’re waiting for the day to come

When we recognize

We hurt more than we fly

That we are holding one another down and back

And I write this and it hurts because it’s a huge fucking lie

I know you’d bleed for me

I know you would do everything in your power to show me

But that also isn’t fully true

What is this, karma?

What did I agree to

Soul contracts?

It’s all beginning to feel like

A joke

The version of me that is just angry

Angry at my decisions

Angry at my complacency

Angry for my lack of trying

Angry…

Year to year…I feel myself soften

Try to give the benefit of the doubt

And if the epitome of unconditional love is

The knowing that I am supported

Then I know I will be forgiven

I know I will be set free

Not supposed to complain

Not supposed to anger

Not supposed to be improper

Fuck

All

Of

That

It can all be sacred

It can all be holy

God is EVERYWHERE

Everywhere.

Everywhere.

And so is the devil…

So why do you run away little boy?

What is going on inside of your mind?

What slight have I made against you this time?

Maybe one day you’ll realize

I see through it all

Those chinks in your armor grow wider and wider

And you’ve all but rusted and fallen apart

Yet you remain a titan in your mind

The mouse yelling at the elephant

I’m convinced I’m just a ghost

Listlessly wandering through these halls

Haunting you until you lose your mind

Ignore my calls

It’s just the wind howling again

It’s just your eyes playing tricks again

When you see my shadow out of the corners of your eyes

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 05x02

Good God, Y’all!

“We haven’t seen Jo and Ellen for a while” laughed at the X-ray sigils 

“He isn’t blasting in this time?” “I wasn’t sure if the smirk is shove it up your ass related or not.” “Misha is naturally blonde???? But his eyebrows??” “The samulet?” “Was it just random shit jewelry until now?” Hi Rufus

“Better get drivin’” “well you aint passing that river.” “I don’t know if I’d park on the partially collapsed bridge, because that seems really stupid.” “That’s a good assessment of the structural integrity” paused to read the Pioneer Days banner

“Nice car” “I mean everything else is rusted to shit, and that one had a nice red paint job” “Got to paint a gun at him before you hug him?” “I’m not counting” “that was kinda a weird interaction” “I know we just got done saying we don’t trust him or whatever but like. If you don’t trust him, just ditch him somewhere” “nice” “where did the demons go?” “just wait until Dean sees you playing with that blood” “Thats a lot of judgement, Dean. Sam didn’t even lick his fingers” “Let’s just throw ammo everywhere. This is good” “Dean’s kinda being a dick, but it’s not unjustified” “He just had a whole conversation about a chimney with both of them starting at it. Is the chimney going as if it isn’t obvious?” “Maybe they’re electing a new pope!” “Nice. Going to force-feed them some shit. Turn them against Dean” “what the fuck? Are the demons chanting something? Aren’t they trying to exorcise the demon but they are demons? Why would they want to do that?” “What a salty bitch” “what the fuck is happening?” “You mean meteorite? Comet? Something else?” laughed at the X-Files reference

“Oh yeah. These cunts” “Didn’t one of them just say they’re embracing the supernatural, but the Father is having a hard time with the apocalypse?” “What does being Irish have to do with anything?” “Does he explicitly state which one he is?” “nice”

“Nobody can hear anything now” “Why would you want to approach so slow?” “That was a good line” “Nice” “They’re gonna take our guns” “They’ve got the ring? Maybe he should wear it” “That was fkn funny about Mount Doom” “Hey, Sam figured it out” “I wasn’t expecting Dean to agree to that” “Dean looks good in front of all that wood wink wink. It was supposed to be funny” “Is he going to drive off in the War Mobile?”

"You're just going to split up now huh? Healthy family shit"

“That was convenient for Sam. Just hitch a ride with some dude that’s ready to go”