#Improve male performance
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prosperidadepessual · 5 months ago
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Brazilian Wood Supplement - 🛑Brazilian Wood Works??🛑 Honest Brazilian Wood Review
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✅Official Website:https://bit.ly/BrazilianWood-discount
If you're looking for an effective solution to boost your confidence and performance, "Brazilian Wood" might be exactly what you need. In this Honest Brazilian Wood review, we’ll explore how this natural supplement can help men regain their vitality and energy. Many men wonder if Brazilian Wood works, and the answer is yes! The Brazilian Wood supplement for men is formulated with natural ingredients that boost testosterone levels, improve circulation, and restore energy. If you're asking Where to buy Brazilian Wood*, you can find the product directly on the official website, ensuring the authenticity and quality of the supplement. The Brazilian Wood supplements are designed to address common issues related to male performance and vitality. This supplement can be an effective and safe alternative for those looking to enhance their sexual health without resorting to synthetic medications. Moreover, our Brazilian Wood supplement review highlights how regular use of this product can lead to a significant transformation in confidence and performance. Many users report that the Brazilian Wood pills really work, delivering visible and satisfying results. The combination of natural and powerful ingredients in "Brazilian Wood" allows men to regain control of their lives, both in and out of the bedroom. For those interested in trying this product, placing a Brazilian Wood order is simple and secure. By purchasing directly from the official website, you ensure you're getting a genuine, high-quality product. Additionally, the official website often offers special promotions, allowing you to enjoy the best of "Brazilian Wood" at an affordable price. In summary, Brazilian Wood is an excellent choice for men seeking to improve their health and well-being naturally. With this *Honest Brazilian Wood review*, we hope to clarify how the supplement can benefit your life. Plus, you have an unconditional 60-day guarantee. If, for any reason, you are not satisfied with Brazilian Wood, you can request a full refund.
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apologynics · 11 months ago
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Gyns who are struggling in school: literally one of the ways I motive myself is to think about all the males in my life who have considered themselves more intelligent than me. My 4.0 is my fuck you to them and my love letter to all the women in my life who never had the ability to access education. Misandry fuels me ❤️
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fitness-product13 · 8 months ago
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My Experience with Aizen Power Male Enhancement
Here's my honest review after using Aizen Power Male Enhancement for 3 months:
Stronger Erections: I noticed a significant improvement in erection quality. They became firmer and lasted longer, leading to a more fulfilling sexual experience.
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Increased Stamina: During intimacy, I had more stamina. This allowed me to perform better and enjoy the moment without tiring quickly.
Natural Approach: Unlike prescription ED meds, Aizen Power is a natural solution. This was important to me as I wanted to avoid potential side effects.
It's important to remember that everyone reacts differently to supplements. While I had positive results, individual experiences may vary.
Overall, I'm pleased with the results I experienced with Aizen Power. It's a natural solution that helped enhance my sexual performance and overall satisfaction.
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kiserspeaks · 10 months ago
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Unlock Your Peak Performance: The Power of Athletic Greens Beyond Nutrition
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Introduction: In the quest for peak performance, whether on the field or in the boardroom, optimal nutrition is paramount. Athletes and high-powered executives alike understand the importance of fueling their bodies with the right nutrients to sustain energy, focus, and overall well-being. However, what if there was a game-changer that not only provided superior nutritional benefits but also went beyond, influencing mindset, mood, and energy levels? Enter Athletic Greens – a powerhouse supplement that transcends the boundaries of traditional nutrition to offer a comprehensive solution for holistic performance enhancement.
Nutritional Excellence: At the core of Athletic Greens lies its unparalleled nutritional profile. Packed with seventy-five vitamins, minerals, and whole-food-sourced ingredients, it serves as a convenient and potent way to bridge the gap between dietary intake and optimal health. This comprehensive blend includes essentials like vitamin C, zinc, and magnesium, along with nutrient-rich superfoods such as spirulina, chlorella, and wheatgrass. For athletes and executives with demanding schedules, Athletic Greens provides a convenient solution to ensure they meet their daily nutritional requirements without compromise.
Fuel for Mind and Mood: While physical performance is often the primary focus, mental clarity and emotional well-being are equally vital components of peak performance. Athletic Greens recognizes this interconnectedness, and its formula is designed to support cognitive function and mood stability. Key ingredients like adaptogenic herbs, including rhodiola rosea and ashwagandha, help the body adapt to stressors, promoting resilience and mental acuity even in high-pressure situations. Moreover, the inclusion of antioxidants like green tea extract and cocoa bean polyphenols combats oxidative stress, fostering a positive mood and outlook.
Elevating Energy Levels: Sustained energy is the cornerstone of productivity and performance. Unlike conventional energy drinks or stimulants that provide a temporary boost followed by a crash, Athletic Greens takes a holistic approach to energy support. By optimizing gut health and digestive function, it ensures efficient nutrient absorption and utilization, leading to sustained energy levels throughout the day. Furthermore, the blend of natural ingredients, including digestive enzymes and probiotics, promotes gut microbiome balance, which has been linked to enhanced energy production and mood regulation.
The Gut-Brain Connection: Perhaps one of the most remarkable aspects of Athletic Greens is its emphasis on gut health. The gut, often referred to as the "second brain," plays a crucial role in regulating various physiological processes, including hormone production and neurotransmitter synthesis. By providing superior gut support, Athletic Greens indirectly influences mood, cognitive function, and even stress response. A healthy gut microbiome is associated with reduced inflammation, improved immune function, and better mental well-being – all of which are essential for peak performance in athletics and executive leadership.
Conclusion: Athletic Greens transcends the boundaries of conventional nutrition supplements, offering a holistic approach to performance enhancement that encompasses not only physical vitality but also mental clarity, mood stability, and sustained energy levels. By nourishing the body with a comprehensive blend of nutrients and supporting gut health, it empowers athletes and executives alike to unlock their full potential and thrive in their respective fields. Whether striving for victory on the field or making critical decisions in the boardroom, Athletic Greens is the ultimate ally in the pursuit of peak performance and overall well-being.
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maxlarens · 7 months ago
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OP: well, that isn't fucking relevant
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pairing(s): oscar piastri x mercedes driver!reader
summary: someone tries to threaten your job, oscar has some choice words for him. (OR: the trials and tribulations of being a woman in a male dominated sport)
word count: 2.7k+
an: i kinda hate the white knight trope but i still wrote this lol, it scratches an itch and i think driver!reader did a sufficient amount of defending of herself beforehand. anyway, this is a one shot that's kind of connected to my smau series just a girl. enjoy!!!!! [also standard disclaimer: this does not reflect the opinions of any real life people/companies/organisations/etc. it is fiction. thank you]
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You’re no stranger to sexism in Formula racing— you knew going into this that you’d have to deal with thinly veiled remarks about your gender and purposefully obtuse questions from reporters who think they know more than you about the sport you’ve dedicated your life to. You had to deal with it when you were karting, you had to deal with it during your stint in F2, and you have to deal with it now.
The fact of the matter is that some people do not think you belong here, and therefore are entirely unable to integrate the reality that you are very much here to stay, into their worldview. You’re lucky to have somehow earned Lewis’ loyalty, which had brought the Mercedes contract and the support of Toto simultaneously. Mercedes-AMG aren’t making leaps and bounds into the world of feminism, but you’re grateful for the seat regardless. You’re here and not going anywhere if you can help it.
You try your best to stay off the bad parts of social media, so as not to be subjected to the barrage of hate comments and death threats directed your way. You’re tough— but no one’s that tough. It’s fine for the most part. You focus on the racing, how the car feels, your performance and improving it weekend after weekend. You try at least. You’d love to leave your gender entirely out of the mix, you don’t think it’s relevant frankly. But unfortunately, the reporters do. (And so do some choice individuals working on the grid, who just can’t seem to keep their big fucking mouths shut about you.)
It’s disappointing, sure— but not surprising to sit down at a press conference and get a smattering of questions about your rumoured relationships and extracurricular activities when every other driver gets fifty questions practically thrown at them about their performance, or FIA regulations, or the track conditions. The part that bothers you the most is honestly just the lack of interest. It’s like they don’t think anything you have to say about the sport is valuable so they just don’t ask you the same questions they bother to ask the men. That probably is the actual case too.
So— y’know— you’re not that shocked when a reporter from some sports blog you’ve never heard of straight out asks if you “expect to be switched out with another female driver next year?”
The room goes dead fucking silent in a way that you do actually find satisfying. It’s good to know that most of the reporters in the room do know a tactless question when they hear one, or at least that you inspire enough fear in people that they’re waiting with bated breath to hear your response. Next to you, Oscar tenses, you can feel it where your thighs are touching. You can imagine his face right now without looking, that pinched micro-grimace he does. The barest hint of a crease in the bridge of his nose as he tries not to scowl. You want to put your hand on his knee and squeeze it in thanks.
You don’t. Instead, you frown and cock your head to the side, meeting the eyes of the reporter across the room.
Slowly, measuredly, you repeat, “I’m sorry, do I expect to be replaced with another female driver next year? Is that what you said?”
He nods, bringing the microphone closer to his mouth as if you really couldn’t hear him the first time, “Yes, yeah. That is what I asked.”
You hum, pursing your lips as if you’re sincerely considering his question. You can see a few people in the crowd who are cringing already, some of them have been on the receiving end of your tendency to play with your food before you eat it. Your ego feels pretty good about that.
“Why would Mercedes want to replace me?” you ask in your most polite voice, feigning real curiosity to this man who you doubt has done any research at all on you.
“Um,” he errs, some of his former unflappable confidence leeching out of his tone, “Well, to give more women a chance in Formula One—”
You start to speak over him, done with entertaining his ignorance. You bite, “—there are other teams for that, actually. I don’t think it’s presumptuous to say that I’ve earned my seat at Mercedes, or that I’ve proven that I belong here so far this season. In which, I have not qualified or placed below a P7. And I certainly don’t think it’s fair of you to ask if I am going to voluntarily give up my hard-earned seat to another person because you think I am here because of some women’s inclusion effort by Mercedes. And, okay, who knows, maybe I am. But I am not giving up this seat without a fight, nor do I imagine that Mercedes are in a rush to find someone to replace me right now. You’ll have to ask someone to confirm that though.”
You wind down after that, punctuating your point with a firm nod; some of the fight and the fury seeping out as you start to reckon with the potential consequences of your outburst. Mercedes’ PR rep will have something to say surely, you’re just hoping you haven’t crossed some kind of uncrossable line. Another part of you doesn’t quite care as you watch the reporter gape like a fish out of water, feeling rather satisfied that you’d put him in his place.
Eventually, the room recovers and moves on from you. Checo is getting asked his opinion on tyres while you share a furtive glance with Oscar. He smiles approvingly, mouth closed and the apples of his cheeks pushed up into his eyes. You feel the urge to touch his knee again but resist, instead smiling back as covertly as you possibly can. A warm feeling spreads in your chest and you almost forget about the reporter and his stupid question in favour of watching Oscar’s slow-burn smile.
Mercedes is fine with it, it turns out. Apparently, you’re doing the heavy lifting for them in the feminism department and all they have to do is have Toto or someone come out and say a few words in agreement. It suits them fine, they don’t need to take any hard stances and you get the blame if anything goes horribly wrong. That grates at you, of course it does. But you’ve got a seat, haven’t you? You’re not going to give it up because Mercedes are covering their asses like the multibillion-dollar company that they are.
It means you’ve avoided the all-hands-on-deck PR meeting you thought you’d be stuck in tonight, but it’s left you in too sour a mood for this party. It’s some function, fundraiser, something or other and they’ve invited all the teams, drivers and ‘important’ FIA staff. This means there’s an inordinate amount of people here and you’re really not into it.
But you’re still here. You’ve shoved yourself into a cute, strappy, black top, and a denim mini-skirt and you’ve even added some cute jewellery in a feeble attempt to match whatever over-the-top outfit Lewis has arrived in. It’s at least a step up from your usual team polo and leggings, or the Mercedes hoodie that you pull on over it. You’re comfortable. You’re fine.
You pull a hand out of the pocket of your oversized leather jacket as Oscar comes back over with your beer. You smile at the expression on his face as you take the neck in between your fingers. He’s scowling openly, the corners of his lips curled up in distaste.
“Busy?” you ask, then you hold up the beer in thanks, “Cheers, by the way.”
“Hmm, too crowded,” he affirms, “I lost Lando.”
You shrug, taking a swig of the refreshingly cold beer, “Actually? Or did he run off with someone?”
Oscar snorts, “Yeah, no. He got into a conversation with Max.”
You laugh, “Yeah, in that case, I reckon we’ll see Lando in a few hours.”
“Definitely.”
The two of you share an amused smile before you’re back to looking into the crowd because sometimes, it’s hard for you to look at him— like looking directly into the sun. You’re aware of him in your periphery, standing there and rocking back and forth on his heels, occasionally taking a sip of his drink. He looks away for a moment, and you turn to look at him. Taking in the endearing swoop of his hair, the scattering of freckles and moles on the side of his pale face, the long line of his neck disappearing into the collar of his shirt. You shift your eyes slightly to the right of him, to the patchwork of vents and scaffolding in the ceiling, feigning as if you’d only been casually looking his way.
“That reporter was a piece of work,” Oscar says once he’s drifted his attention back to you.
You roll your eyes on instinct, and groan, “Tell me about it, holy shit, Osc. What an asshole. I don’t know if he was just stupid or legit didn’t know a single thing about me.”
“Mm,” Oscar hums in agreement, “and I like how no one asked you a single question after that. Way to go guys, that’s exactly how you show your support.”
You roll your eyes, still smiling a little at the contented feeling you’ve got in your chest, “I know, right. Trust, they all got on their keyboards afterwards to wax lyrical about how deserving I am of my seat. It’d be fucken’ nice if they acted like it during press conferences.”
“Yeaah,” he sighs, half-laugh, half-exhale, “It’s unfair.”
“Fucken' right,” you gripe, tipping your head back and letting a slip of fizzy beer cascade down your throat— the alcohol, though meagre, leaves you feeling loose, a little reckless, “It sucks Osc. God, I just want to be respected. If I had a dick and balls I’d be fucking killing it, dude. This is my rookie season, I’ve been scoring points every race. Except for the DNF, which was not my fault. But, fuck me, they don’t give a shit.”
You squeeze your eyes shut to stave off the angry tears that are sitting behind your eyelids, threatening. When you open them Oscar is staring at you, frowning, his brown eyes huge and sparkling and sympathetic. They’re like a black hole you want to fall into. Your heart squeezes. He’s so— ugh. Quickly, your mind supplies about a hundred answers to that question: sweet, cute, nice, adorable. Something stutters in your chest and you feel your cheeks starting to grow hot. That slow-burn smile of Oscar’s starts on his face, and you watch dimples form on his cheeks.
The moment is quickly ruined by a particularly nasally Italian accent that you vaguely recognise, “You know,” it says, clearly talking to you, “You should make sure to watch your tone. You never know who could be listening.”
Mood thoroughly dampened, you turn to face the interruption. It turns out to be one of the numerous men on the grid who won’t shut up about you, sharing unsolicited opinions left and right. He has his arms crossed against his chest and a smug expression on his face, as if he’s just caught you doing something terrible— instead of simply complaining about the subpar treatment you’re afforded.
He’s not worth your time whatsoever but God you’re angry. Maybe it’s just been too much shit on top of shit today but you cannot deal reasonably with this man right now— and you are not afforded the luxury of not acting reasonably toward someone like this, no matter how much of a dickhead they are. You open your mouth. Close it. Open it again. Close it and bite down on your bottom lip so nothing accidentally slips out. You’re trying to fish a semi-civil sentence out of a sea of fuck you fuck you fuck you on repeat and it’s not working.
“Are you threatening her?” Oscar asks, a dangerous lilt to his tone, and somewhere in the pulse of anger, you think this is the happiest you’ve ever been to hear his voice, “Because, I am pretty sure your team principal would not be pleased to hear that you’re going around threatening one of Mercedes’ drivers.”
He scoffs, trying to play it off, but you think you register a little bit of worry somewhere in there— Oscar can be threatening when he wants to be and McLaren are not exactly nobodies in this sport right now, “Please, I am not threatening her. I am just telling her that she needs to watch her mouth.”
“Right,” Oscar nods, mouth pinching, “Sure. Well, it would be our word against yours and I’m fairly sure your team principal would believe two drivers over you right now. Especially with that history, you’ve got, dude.”
A little thrill goes up your spine as his face goes white as a sheet. Oscar’s talking about the nice little list of comments he’s made that you’ve reported to your team and an FIA representative— which you’ve taken to doing every time anyone starts up a pattern of saying things about you or to you. They’re to cover your ass honestly, so you can’t be accused of making things up if push comes to shove. You’re sure they’ve made their way back to him and his boss; you’re glad they’ve made an impact (but perhaps not enough to stop him outright).
He sniffs, a nervous edge to his words, “I am not threatening her.”
“Okay. Apologise.”
“Excuse me?”
Oscar raises an eyebrow, “If you’re not threatening her, apologise.”
You bite the inside of your lip and grip the neck of your near-empty beer bottle tighter. Alright, Oscar can be scary. Noted. Very much noted.
“I—” He quickly thinks better of protesting and looks at you, lips pursed in a thin angry line, “I apologise.”
He looks at Oscar, Oscar looks at you. You shrug and nod. Good enough. You don’t need him to grovel, you think he’s been sufficiently humiliated already. Although, before he scampers off into the crowd at Oscar’s approval, you manage a dry, “You think I need to watch my tone now?”
He scowls, but says, “No,” anyway.
Then he stalks off into the throng of people.
You relax more the further that he gets away from the two of you. The tension dissipates into something warm and charged with a different kind of electricity entirely. You ignore the unease that tries to take root in your stomach and instead focus on Oscar at your side.
“That was—” you scrub a hand over your face, starting your sentence again, “Hm.”
Oscar sigh-laughs again, “Yeah, what an asshole.”
“Thank you,” you say meaning it wholeheartedly, “No one’s done something like that for me before.”
Oscar looks down at you, frowning, he shakes his head, “It’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing,” you answer, feeling bold as you put a hand on his bicep in an attempt to express how grateful you feel for him, for what he’d done for you, “It’s really not, Osc.”
He’s quiet, staring at you with big brown sparkling eyes for a long long moment. A long moment in which you fantasise about reaching upward and pulling his face down to yours, feeling his lips against your own. They’d be soft, you think— his hair would be too. You don’t think about it and you resolutely ignore the tug low in your gut.
“You deserve it,” he says eventually, loud enough that you can hear it, but not anyone else, “You are killing it, by the way.”
You breathe a laugh, “Yeah, I’d better be.”
You squeeze gently at his bicep, feeling the sinewed muscle underneath his dress shirt. Then you let your hand drop, trailing absently down his arm as you do so. Your fingers brush his hand, and he catches yours before it's out of reach at your side. Purposefully, he threads your fingers with his, squeezing firmly and brushing his thumb tenderly over your knuckle. You feel a little lightheaded when he lets go.
You sigh, masking the out-of-breath quality of your voice, “I need another drink.”
“Yeah,” Oscar breathes, “Me too, I reckon.”
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🏎️ title taken from this song :)
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hadesoftheladies · 4 months ago
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was watching a nature documentary with my dad on ostriches and he was like "do you know the male ostriches are more beautiful than the female ones? it's unfair to the ladies!" and I was like "the male ones evolved to be pretty because it is their job to attract and convince a female why he's the best genetically and should mate with her" and he laughed and was like "you're right actually" and then I had a small existential crisis about how in nearly every other species female is default and the nonperformance of female animals is not taken as anything but desirable and how the most pathetic thing about our species is this great, unjustified, unnatural reversal that traps women in a cycle of unequal distribution of labour. like the only reason most of these female animals keep male mates when they do is because they actively improve the space, are exceedingly fit and attractive, or have proven thoroughly efficient for the advancement and safety of the unit. meanwhile, the human female does the protecting, maintenance, hunting, herself, has reduced selection autonomy, is bullied or coerced into accepting an unfit or genetically inferior male (which WILL alter her own genetics and not just her offspring's), and cohabits with a fucking predator who is more of an economic and safety liability than a pro for the unit. some female animals truly out here living in communities to assist and protect them or with males that perform multiple tasks (or die trying) and women are straight up cohabiting with their number one parasite. worse, they're worshipping these parasites. they're constantly placating and performing for them. human society is so absurd. you really can't look at the rest of the animal kingdom and not feel like we are the most debased and mind-fucked of all other female animals on the planet. literally none if this is rational.
TLDR I'm fucking jealous of those ostriches
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mondaymelon · 2 years ago
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— "𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂...𝗰𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴?" ♥
:feat~ xiao, kazuha, scaramouche x gn!reader: 
⤷ slight angst + comfort n fluff (oops i made kazuha’s part abnormally long) ⤷ They make you cry.
ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ (open!) : @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu, @achlysis
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At first, XIAO doesn’t understand that his words have cut you. 
He was always one with a blunt, yet sharp tongue, never afraid to speak his mind or to criticize your actions on the slightest whim. After all, why should he be hesitant? His power is common knowledge - as an illuminated adepti, there’s few who can rival his dexterity.
But he never expected his words to hurt you. Xiao has never fully understood human emotion. He’s always isolated himself from the foreign concept, determined to separate him and such… frivolities. Emotions are for mortals, and he is not one of man. In his manner of thinking, he’s just helping you improve yourself, so why are you…
“Archons, Xiao. It’s always about my mistakes. My mistakes, over and over and…” Then your wavering voice cuts off as you swallow, hard. What did he do wrong? Why were you acting this way?
That’s when the aloof yaksha notices the crystal teardrops spilling from your eyes, running down your cheeks and staining the skin it trails. The slight hitch in your shallowed breath and the way you stray from his touch, trembling, anxiously wiping at your tears.
“...Love?” He isn’t accustomed to seeing you like this, avoidant of his gaze and so… vulnerable. “Wait, please-”
“Archons, love. Please, look at me.” Xiao takes your wrist in his gloved hand, his grasp cautious yet firm. His voice is pleading, quiet, strained with desperation.
“No, I… I didn’t mean to hurt you.” His voice shakes as he tries to meet your eye.
“Love, you are perfect. I never meant to say otherwise.” Please, believe me.
“I’m sorry. So please…” He detests the way he’s acting, heart racing so shamefully, yet still embraces you tightly, skin cold to the touch.
“Stay by my side.” ♥
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KAZUHA’s eloquent wording is one that never ceases to amaze, so it’s only a twinge of misfortune that causes a misunderstanding to form.
As a poet, the way he speaks is quite ornate, a manner in which people may not comprehend. However, that’s never exactly been a problem when it comes to the communication of the two of you. You understand Kazuha, and that translates to his speech as well, so in a way, it’s only natural.
Yet…
“The show was incredible, wasn’t it?” You take Kazuha’s hand, and follow his gentle tug on yours as he leads you out of the crowd, smiling back at you. The white haired male, being the traveler he was, decided to take you for a night out in Liyue Harbor, where the two of you first ate a fine dinner, and just finished viewing a performance from the Liyue Theatre. Your heart still raced from the night’s breathtaking sights and wonders.
“Indeed it was.” He closes his eyes, a sign that he’s content, and you can’t help but widen your grin. “The main casting role, the lady with the flowing dress, was exceptionally talented. Just from the way she glided about the stage… you can tell she’s experienced, and blessed with bountiful potential.”
You nod along, albeit a little awkwardly. There’s nothing out of the ordinary for the two of you to discuss such topics, but for some reason, the way he’s speaking about her just makes your insides want to crawl.
He’s still droning on, eyes sparkling. “...Then, at the final scene, when she began to sing… say, Love, why don’t you try theater? It might suit you well. Maybe one day you’d be on a stage, just like her.”
What the male meant was: try theater out, you’d do well.
But what you heard, instead, was: you should do theater too. then you could be as brilliant as her.
You hated the way it felt like he was comparing the two of you, weighing which one held more worth.
“I know! We’ll be staying here for a while, so why don’t I sign you up for…” His voice trails off as he lets go of your hand, aware of the tears that are starting to form in your wells. “Love, what… what’s wrong?”
“Kazuha… please, stop.”
“...What?” He seems genuinely clueless, but clasps but your hands in his, a worried gaze written all over his face. “No, I…”
“Please stop comparing me to her. I already know I don’t deserve you… it’s just…” Fuck, now you really couldn’t stop the way the droplets started rolling down your cheeks, stray tears falling from your eyes and splattering onto the wooden planks below. All of your discomfort seemed to infuse themselves into the shameful adrenaline that was coursing through your veins, because you had worried if you weren’t good enough for Kazuha. Someone as lackluster as yourself, going out with a handsome young swordsman, intelligent, kind… he was loved by many, and you…
“...Love, please!” 
When did he get so close? He’s leaned in, concerned, crimson-eyed gaze trained onto your every movement. “What are you even thinking about, to be breathing so heavily… no, c’mon love, look at me.” And when you do, eyes meeting his, his mouth morphs into a somewhat smile. “There must’ve been a misunderstanding.”
“Because you are most certainly superior to any other person in Teyvat.”
“And of all people, you…”
“I am the one not worthy of your love, so don’t ever say that again.”  ♥
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SCARAMOUCHE doesn’t care at all, why should he?
He said some stuff that you took too close to heart, so what? If he hurt you, why should he fret over it? You’re strong enough to take it. All he said was one or two harsh words that merely came to mind, so there’s no need for you to be all wounded over it, either.
“Yeah, you’re pathetic.” Scaramouche scoffs at you, one hand on his waist while the free one makes sarcastic motions in the air. “You can’t even get one thing right, can you?”
The “thing” in question, in fact, was making Scaramouche dinner. You added a pinch too much salt, and now the male seemed to act like you’d committed a grave offense upon humanity… but then again, he was always dramatic, so this time shouldn’t be any different, right?
“I… I tried my best…” Your voice trails off as you cringe under his undermining glare.
“Clearly, your ‘best’ wasn’t enough.” His jeering tone is enough to make your heart shatter as you glance up at him, eyes wide. You don’t realize you’ve begun crying until you feel the sensation of tears spilling down your cheeks, falling from your eyes with silent melancholy as you seem to choke on your own words.
“Why are you… why are you crying?” You’re scared to look up at him, whatever expression he’s making, so you keep your head down, pitifully wiping your tears away.
“I’m not.”
“Sure you aren’t.” His voice is airy as he rolls his eyes, frowning at you. What, now you get to act all disheartened? What did he even do to upset you?
“I’m not crying.”
“C’mon, Kuni. It’s okay to say if you’re sad. Here, cheer up, and I’ll give you this flower, okay?”
A voice echoed in his head.
“...Huh?”
And it’s strange, really, how the sight before him mirrors one from long before. The way your eyes hold so much sorrowful desperation, the way you seem so broken inside, and most of all, the way the tears that run down your face seem achingly familiar.
“Shit.” His voice seems small, too small. “Wait, love, I-” His voice cuts off as he sighs, unsure of what to say. The beating of his anxious heart overpowers all noise.
“Love, I was… joking. I don’t mean any of it.”
“You being here is a blessing of itself.”
“Archons, please know how much I love you.” ♥
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(a/n) i accidentally made xiao's part the shortest i am a disgrace to humanity
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cassidyandonlycassidy · 5 months ago
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and they were teammates
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words: 2.2k
warnings: 18+ only, smut (but not a lot), shower sex, established relationship, secret/hidden relationship, driver!reader, fluffy
when mclaren approached you to sign for their team, you had one question going through their head. did they know about you and lando? you weren't sure how to bring it up in the initial meeting. did lando already tell them? you were a rival driver for williams after all, which is why you kept your relationship private.
you felt really good about the first discussion. you've been scoring really well at your current team, despite williams struggling with performance, and it felt good that mclaren saw that and wanted to give you a bigger opportunity.
the first person you called when you left the meeting was your boyfriend. lando had no clue that mclaren was looking to sign you as their second driver, but he was instantly excited that his girlfriend could be even closer to him.
you quickly brought up your relationship, and ended up after a long discussion agreeing that lando should tell mclaren, and you'd both cross your fingers that it wouldn't mean you lose the offer, so when you got a phone call from zak, you picked it up nervously.
"hello." 
"lando told me, and can i just say, we did figure that you were either already together or would become a couple once you started here."
you let out a laugh. "i guess we aren't as good at hiding how we feel about each other as we thought."
sure, you hear it all the time from the fans because even while you only portray yourself as close friends publicly, you are a male and female being friends in f1, meaning of course people are going to ship you. its a lot different when people you're close to also see how you feel about each other.
you end up signing a two year contract, sad to leave williams who were the first team to give you an opportunity in f1, but extremely excited to be in papaya. the second you leave the room after signing, you see lando sitting on a bench outside the room. you scan the hallway quickly to make sure it's empty, deciding to keep your relationship under wraps from non-essential people, and run to him. lando stands up and twirls you in his arms, pressing a big kiss to your lips.
"im so happy." you whisper, taking his face in your hands. "we are gonna be teammates, can you believe that?" 
"we get to spend even more time together." lando says, squeezing your body against his, before you hear a door open and you're forced to separate, but his eyes don't lose the excitement.
everything goes so well, the announcement, seeing the fans excitement, all the press leading up to the new season. even your first qualifying with mclaren goes well, until the actual race when you dnf. it's certainly not how you wanted to start. there was some sort of problem with the engine forcing you to retire, but lando certainly made you feel better after with lots of kisses and cuddles in your driver's room to make up for it.
your next couple races go much better, enjoying building the team dynamic and getting to know everyone, all while constantly having lando around supporting you.
the second half of the season gets even better when the car improves massively, so now instead of struggling for points, you're trying for podium positions. lando gets p3 while you get p4, but you can't help yourself from running up to him and giving him a huge hug, wrapping your legs around his waist as he holds you up.
it sets off a whole new round of rumors, but you are just so proud of your boyfriend and wanting to show him and everyone.
"you did so well, im so proud of you." you say, pressing a kiss to his lips quickly, knowing the hallway you're standing in is high trafficked and someone is bound to walk down it and see you too conversing.
"next time it's both of us on the podium." lando says, and he's right, the next race, lando finds himself p2 with you right behind in p3. you give him another massive hug after both celebrating with the team, getting your helmet and your back slapped in congratulations.
you thought you would be more nervous for your first podium in f1, but the excitement and happiness outweighs that feeling massively, and lando subtly holding your hand in the cool down room, letting you stay connected to him.
you didn't think it could get better than standing on those steps with lando, spraying him with champagne and laughing as he dumps the bottle on your head before wrapping his arm around your shoulders, getting lots of pictures together and kind of forgetting that there is someone in p1 there, so focused on the two of you being on the podium together that it feels like winning.
next race is tough, so physically tough and draining, but when lando makes a move for p1 and gets it, you know you have to pull your weight and move up from p4, so you struggle for the positions, almost going off a couple times, but you make it up to p2 right before the checkered flag waves.
the excitement you feel from the team is unlike no other. during the first half of the season, they were happy if both drivers were in the points, but now there's the first p1 and p2 in years, as well as landos first ever win. you want to cry watching your boyfriend celebrate, you're so overjoyed for him that when you go to give him a hug, you don't even question when his lips press against yours for everyone to see.
you always discussed telling people when it felt right, and clearly it did for lando, and you're happy to not hide anymore so you kiss him back.
he pulls away with a big smile, one that doesnt leave his face as he gets onto the podium, holding up his p1 trophy before gesturing for you to join him on the top step.
you celebrate more after the podium, when you're supposed to be showering, you're pressed against the wall of landos driver's room, his hips pressing into yours with your legs wrapped around his waist. you hide your mouth in his shoulder, knowing the walls here are thin as one of his hands drops down to rub at your clit. you both cum at the same time, so wrapped up in the adrenaline of the race that you don't realize how exhausted the act makes you, both of you dragging your feet through the post race process, skipping celebrations that night in favor of crashing at your hotel room, but you make it up to the team the next night.
"so lando, y/n, we saw a big kiss during celebrations last week, is there anything you want to tell us?" the interview asks, causing your cheeks to go red. you carefully avoided all questions about the kiss, but when you saw that you and lando were paired together in the official press conference, you knew exactly what was coming.
you turn to lando who is sitting next to you, silently pleading for him to answer. "well, we've been together for about a year now, so we figured it was time everyone knew." lando smiles, addressing the reporters but his eyes don't look away from you as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. you smile and lean your body against his, knowing that he will be by your side to field all the questions.
it eventually dies down as the season continues on, both scoring a couple podiums, but no more wins for the team, even as both of you get close many times. you are a lot more open with your relationship now, occasionally holding hands and sneaking kisses, but you still try to keep it somewhat private as you avoid a lot of pda, wanting to still be professionals for your team.
the next race is an unexpected win for you. you were pushing hard for p1, when the man you were trying to get past went off the track while defending you, letting you get ahead for the lead. if you weren't on the last lap he certainly would have caught back up, but you ended up winning the race, with lando in p3. you jump into his arms, feeling tears well up in your eyes at him being there to celebrate your first win with you, just like you were there for his.
he makes sure you know how proud he is of you later in your shared hotel room when he buries his face between your legs, tongue lapping against your pussy, making you cum multiple times before he pulls his mouth away from you.
"love you." lando whispers as he pushes his cock inside of your entrance. "love you so much and im so proud of you." 
you smile and repeat the words back to him.
it's the second to last race of the season and you and lando are battling it out for p2 in the championship, with p1 already secured. it's a relief to be with a teammate who is going to be happy for you if you beat him, and vice versa. there has been no tension so far related to racing, and you know everyone at mclaren is relieved at that. everything is left on the track.
you qualified p5 with lando in p3, and you are pushing hard at the start of the race, quickly catching up with him before you round the first corner, when you feel a bump on your rear, causing you to spin out and hit at least lando, but you think another car as well. it's hard to tell with how fast everything is going.
you brace for the crash into the wall, and thankfully its not your first crash in racing, because your body knows exactly how to prepare for it. you take a deep breath once you stop moving, ears ringing but able to make out the team asking you if you’re okay on the radio.
“i’m okay.” you reply, doing a mental check over every part of your body to make sure you actually were okay. “lando?” you ask.
“also okay.” you let out a breath of relief at the reply, looking around before climbing out of the cockpit, seeing that four cars were ultimately taken out. you rush over to the matching orange car as lando gets out slowly, you can tell he’s also checking over his limbs to make sure nothing is injured and he just couldn’t tell because of the adrenaline. 
“lan.” you call out, and he turns towards you quickly, pulling you into a hug, helmets pressing against each other as you look into his eyes, seeing the fear in his, knowing that it’s all for you.
you head back to the garage with lando to go over the incident, turns out perez hit your rear and sent you spilling into lando, taking out russell as well on the way. you sigh when watching the footage, realizing how quickly that all could have gone wrong. you reach over and squeeze landos hand in your own, making him turn and press his lips to your forehead.
you get questions about it at the press conference next week, of course, but there’s not much more to say beyond what you said post race. again, you’re thankful to have lando there. he has two more seasons in f1 than you do, and you appreciate his tact when answering certain questions while still keeping his personality and humor. 
“next question is for everyone. there has been controversy lately about celebrities during the grid walk. do you support celebrities being on the track during that time and if so, is there anyone you’d like to see on the track?”
the question quickly devolves into what celebrities they want to see, with one driver saying they’d like to see margot robbie because she’s their celebrity crush. when it’s lando’s turn to answer, he turns to look at you, “i see my celebrity crush on the grid every race.”
you laugh and blush, hearing to crowd of reporters give an aww to your boyfriends sweet answer. “what about you, y/n?” “i think it’s fine having celebrities there, they don’t bother me, but maybe it’s a question to ask the team since we are in the car for a good part of it. as for celebrities i’d like to see?” you glance at lando, who quickly recognizes the mischievous glint in your eye. “my celebrity crush is drew starkey, i’d looove to see him.” “hey!” lando says, jabbing his fingers into your side, making you howl with laughter and push his hands away, smiling at him as he shakes his head, but leans in to give you a kiss.
“i love you.” you whisper to him, making sure the microphone is far away from your mouth so it doesn’t get picked up as lewis begins to answer a different question.
“i love you too.” lando says, leaning in and kissing your cheek. you smile happily and look into his blue eyes, knowing that no matter what happens in this final race, or next season, that everything will be good, because you have him by your side.
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houpss · 10 months ago
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𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐒𝐊𝐙 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬
aggression, a little angst, vanilla and fluff
Some members will have not only points, but also background. Some won't have it (!)
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𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧
This man is possessive and quite jealous. Chan is an adult man with formed emotions and convictions, and one of his convictions is that he never shares his own, be it members or his personal belongings.He, of course, knew personal boundaries and understood what was possible and what was not. But when it came to jealousy...
It was the evening of a closed fashion show in France, where SKZ flew and you flew with them. You were also a significant figure in the modeling industry and that is why you were invited to the show. K-pop stars and American industry stars gathered there: singers, directors, models and actors. Absolutely everyone was there. Chan knew that this was a noisy event and that's why Stray Kids fit in perfectly there. There was a fashionable party, an atmosphere of fun filled the halls and Chan liked it, until the moment he saw that you were surrounded by male attention.
This man will literally become overprotective and he will follow you with his eyes unless you are near him.
No, Chan didn't get jealous often. He has 8 members, Chan has a big and generous heart!
Only small children of their parents are jealous when they pay attention to someone other than their child. But Chan, after all, could and knew how to be jealous, he did it.
You felt his cold and patronizing gaze from meters away in the hall, this aura hovered around you.
As soon as you are near him, he will immediately calm down.
He will immediately return to the state of the kind and smiling Chris!
"Awww my Y/N is so beautiful todaay"
"My princess stole the show here."
He's literally very soft.
After such a scene he will be your "bodyguard", when you talk to someone, he is nearby. He quietly check that no one is doing unnecessary things.
When you return to your hotel room, Channie will become very soft and clingy.
"Y/n! Chris is tired and wants your hugs!"
"Chris wants Y/n's soft kisses"
You laugh softly at him and you clearly give him what he asks for.
𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰
Minho wasn't one to get jealous a lot. He was deeply convinced of his and your feelings. Jealousy is too stupid. But this was only the case up to a certain point.
You were also a dancer and for a large-scale show you were given a dance number with your colleague. The dance was quite energetic, sexy and literally amazing. Minho saw your training and didn’t pay much attention to it. You would never cheat on him. You talked about it so much that it made Minho nervous, but he remained silent. He knew it was important to you. There was a show tonight where you performed with your colleague. Minho sat in the hall with Jisung and Jeongin. Some time passed before your number began, it was the middle of the show. Oh, it seems this fellow colleague is too close to you, this was not planned.
Minho's eyes instantly narrowed as he watched this creep touch and dance with you.
The muscles in Minho's face began to flex as he clenched his jaw.
He arches an eyebrow and snorts, he could have done it much better.
By the end of the performance, jealousy consumed him.
He wanted to kill this guy. Minho was cruel.
After the performance, he left Jisung and Jeongin in the hall while he went to your dressing room.
He urgently wanted to see and feel you.
You sat in front of the mirror and took off your makeup.
"That guy allowed himself too much, my dear."
"What are you talking about, Ho?"
"No one dares to touch you the way I touch you."
He leaned towards you and buried his nose in your hair, his hands on your shoulders.
“Next time, I’ll dance with you myself.” He would like to add to his sentence: “I’ll fuck you in front of that guy so that he understands everything himself,” but he remained silent.
Your gentle kiss will even improve the situation somewhat. Minho is your home cat again.
𝐒𝐞𝐨 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐛𝐢𝐧
You and Changbin go to the gym together, he works out his muscles, and you do stretching and yoga. You and Changbin were passionate about sports, it was an integral part of your couple! There were many men and women in the room, Changbin was always a little jealous. He just loves you too much!
But this time it turned out that you were training in different halls of the same sports complex. You worked out in the gym with other women, but Changbin was paranoid that men were staring at you.
This man will not be able to train normally and will only think about you.
He won't be able to continue training until he checks on you.
He will spy on you 🥷
From time to time he will run from gym to gym and watch you do yoga surrounded by other women.
It calmed him down...
After your training, he will hug you tightly and kiss the top of your head.
This man will become very loud and happy in your presence.
"My Y/n is so sweet! Binnie is happy again"
𝐇𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐧
Hwang Hyunjin was perfect, such a guy had everything he wanted, but most importantly he had you. He wasn't overly jealous, but "you're mine" and that wasn't discussed. He hated the idea that there was someone else who could touch you the way he touched you and tell you the things he told you.
When he left SKZ on tours or events in another country, he would definitely become overprotective from a distance. He's just afraid that someone will take his place, maybe you can find someone more ideal than him? Expect constant video calls and unobtrusive questions from him, he may be too dramatic or whiny, this is normal. One evening you will be talking via video call, because you stayed in Seoul and Hyunjin in France.
"I saw your posts on Instagram, are you hanging out with someone?? 🥺"
"Yeah,Jinnie, I finally met a friend I haven't seen for a very long time."
"Let him not allow himself too much—"
"ARE YOU JEALOUS?"
Hwang Hyunjin and jealousy? never.
"She was holding your hand too tightly in that photo! This woman allows herself a lot."
"You're literally jealous right now~"
"This is not jealousy, but ordinary boundaries 😡"
"You're very cute when you're jealous, I love you"
He will turn into a puddle after these words.
𝐇𝐚𝐧 𝐉𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠
Han Jisung doesn't know how to be jealous.
He is absolutely confident in both you and himself.
But some trainee from JYP ENTERTAINMENT became interested in you and showed you signs of attention.
At first he didn't pay attention to it.
It didn't bother him because you were always near.
But then he began to notice that you would either smile at this guy or talk to him in the corridors of the company.
He, he'll get worried.
You will notice this.
Jisung will become less cheerful or tender with you, slowly moving away.
You sit him next to you and make him talk.
"Have you found someone better than me?"
"Why do you think that, Hannie?"
He will look at you sadly, now he is not happy and will not joke.
"You spend so much time with that trainee guy...–”
"Oooh...he doesn't know Korean, so he asked me to help him! but between us there is only a working relationship"
will this calm him down?
Not really.
He will reach out for your hug and sigh softly when you hug him back.
"Tell me right away if he bothers you 😡"
"HAN JISUNG–"
𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐅𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐱
This boy is very shy and touchy :((
When he is jealous, he will be like a pet...In the sense that he will follow you everywhere and he will look so sad.
He just overheard your talk on the phone and didn't like the content.
"Do not you love me anymore?"
He sniffled, it seemed the boy had been crying for a long time.
He was a flower, and you were his sun.
He will sit next to you on the couch and press against your side. His head is now on your chest and his legs are wrapped around yours, he's like a koala.
He's just afraid that you'll leave.
"Why do you think that, freckle?"
You haven’t really changed into your home clothes, because you just came from the street.
You stroke Felix's blond hair, looking at his tear-stained face.
"You...you...went somewhere, before that I heard your telephone talk...sorry"
He literally wouldn't be able to speak properly because the tears were choking his throat again.
He will cry and bury his nose in your chest. Please don't leave him.
"Baby, I was at a meeting of directors, I was urgently called there"
You chuckle quietly and tuck his hair behind his ear.
He is your gentle angel.
"Really...?you won't leave me?" his eyes brightened as he sniffled and looked at you.
You nod affirmatively and kiss his forehead.
He will cry even more because he will be ashamed...
𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐒𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐦𝐢𝐧
Seungmin wasn't someone who got jealous a lot or often, he didn't care about that. But he reacts quite brightly when Someone allows himself too much towards you.
He would be angry and not understand alone, he would come up with a lot for himself and would be even more offended by you. He would pull away and give you freedom. Moreover, you can not communicate like this for several days, that suits him.
It really made you nervous that Seungmin could leave so easily and then come back as if nothing had happened, he never explained the reasons. The boy did as he saw fit. You may be able to catch him and get him to talk, he will be quite rude, but eventually he will break down and quietly admit that he feels insecure because of your actions. You felt so offended because Seungmo didn’t tell you right away, but only confessed now. Now you will agree to immediately talk about your jealousy and fears every time. Seungmin will really try his best for you.
𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐉𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧
Maknae is also quite jealous, due to the fact that his hyungs are loving guys, this extends to you, but Jeongin doesn’t like it. You spend time with boys a lot, which can cause Jeongin to get nervous and say something like "Hey! Don't touch her", then SKZ will turn their attention from you to Ninnie.
In general, you and Jeongin are like two big children for SKZ, even if you are older than Jeongin. You are a sociable, bright and talkative person, people are drawn to you. Jeongin notices this and tries to tone it down a bit, he wants all your attention. He just gets a little angry when there is increased attention to you and tries to immediately concentrate your attention on himself!
"Why Hyungs coming at you like that..."
"They just love me too much~"
"THEY CAN'T LOVE YOU THE WAY I LOVE YOU"
The maknae is furious, you are his only one.
You immediately start laughing and kiss him on both cheeks, making him squint like a fox.
No one will want to offend this beautiful little fox.
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harmonyloveangels1990 · 4 months ago
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Open Master/Slave RP (Male, Female, or Futa only)
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Nami is a master thief. She has stolen from many pirates and Marine soldiers. She has used those skills to help her crewmates and helped them get out of any sticky situation. However, with them separated for 2 years to improve their skills before they reunite, Nami had needed to try surviving during this time.
And that's where your muse came in. She's been working with them to steal from the idiots she has surrounded herself in. Wearing a sexy revealing outfit to distract them. While your muse goes in for the steal.
She even had to pretend to be their slave while they serve as her master. Though once they returned to their hideout, she knew it wouldn't be just pretend.
"See? That was easy. I distract the losers and you steal from them. Easy. Just glad they didn't try going all grabby on me before I left." said Nami as she puts the gold in the chest while still wearing the outfit. She turned to your muse and formed a smirk when she saw them getting turned on. "Although, I can tell you were getting hot from my performance too, huh?"
((Have some fun with her))
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hermajestyimher · 12 hours ago
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P*rn, dating apps/hook up culture, and 50/50 normalization are the three main culprits as to why the men of this generation seem so different than men from previous ones, and why so many beautiful and accomplished women are unable to secure a relationship without settling. Men always had their issues collectively, but it was never to the degree that we see today, and it’s largely due to the normalization from an early age to those three things.
The brains of men these days have been wired in a completely overly s3xualized manner. They don’t view women as people but as objects of strict desire and nothing else. Consumption of p*rn has not only given them unrealistic expectations of intimacy, it has influenced their s3xual orientations (see DL epidemic), and their social behaviour. Nowadays many don’t find regular girls attractive, which is why they choose to engage in “taboo” activities to feel some arousal. This leads them to becoming socially inept and to falling easy prey to manosphere content that only reinforces the objectification and dehumanization of women.
Dating apps then come in as an easy way for these men get the illusion of options, because while they might be generally not attractive, in the apps they get instant access to women they otherwise would never have in real life. And because many women have become desperate, by entertaining these men and giving them easy access to their bodies, the men no longer feel like they have to improve and work on themselves to attract a quality partner. It also gives them the idea that women are disposable because at any point they can ghost them for no reason and then swipe right to get another one. It makes them devalue access to us.
This easy access is then transferred to their expectations of relationships. They abuse the concept of equality to manipulate women into financially abusive arrangements where she’s expected to provide fiscally while also performing her feminine duties and taking care of a grown, able-bodied man. Naturally this continues to reinforce men’s lack of respect and gratitude for women in their lives, while increasing their own sense of self-importance, narcissism, ineptitude, and ungratefulness.
Obviously women are not responsible for the actions of men, but we do have the power to not reinforce and condone their sick ways. By deleting dating apps, standing our ground when we oppose 50/50 dating, and choosing to remain abstinent until marriage, we are taking the power dynamics back to our advantage. No, you are not unreasonable for not wanting to be with a man who consumes p*rn, or who wants to be sexually fluid with other men, or who views red pill content that dehumanizes you, or seems unwilling to provide things for you and cherish you in his life. It’s on you to stand firm in your decision to only entertain the gentlemen whose mindsets haven’t been completely fried by modern societal trends.
The “male loneliness epidemic” that we hear so much about is entirely self inflicted (not that anyone cares when it’s women who are lonely), and it’s a direct response to women saying no more to men who exhibit the behaviours outlined above. Hold the line, because they either leave their toxic ways and get better, or they will doom themselves to a life of solitude. Either way, that is their responsibility to fix, not yours.
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mothmans-side-ho · 7 months ago
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Armand called Lestat a clown in the most round about way
s2e3 hot wired the two passions in my brain into this info dump, however seeing as a central theme of this episode (and the season) is power, status, and their subversions, it seems relevant. for context, I have 2 degrees in theatre, specifically theatre history and how trends effect form. (I am in no way an expert though, and this is very simplified). long story short, I'm relishing in being a big ol nerd about this entire season
FINALLY, we got to see Lestat (a version of) strutting his stuff on stage in a scene with peak commedia dell'arte shenanigans. Commedia dell'arte is/was an originally Italian form of theatre which was defined by lazzi (comedic bits), improv, and stock characters. these stock characters have been around from Roman times and are still super familiar to us today - the young lovers, the pervy old rich man, the soldier with bravado, etc. It's been seen as a somewhat formulaic form of theatre which relied on quickly identifiable characters and situations so audiences can sit back and enjoy the butt jokes and servant beatings.
In the book - specifically The Vampire Lestat - our beloved Lestat RELISHES in playing a character called Lelio, one of the young lovers. It is in playing Lelio that he "found a tongue for verses and wit [he]'d never had in life" (TVL pg 31). It is in playing Lelio that Lestat first gets a taste of the person he can become, and it is in Lelio that we see the first glimpses of the Lestat which so fully seduces Louis. In short, Lestat casts himself as the suave and handsome romantic protagonist, here to sweep people off their feet. The young lovers are also notably some of the only roles portrayed without masks, to emphasize their youth and natural beauty.
SO IMAGINE MY SURPRISE WHEN LESTAT SHOWS UP IN S2E3 DRESSED LIKE THIS:
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He has a half mask! He's wearing all sorts of colors! He's clearly acting as a go between between two other characters who seem to be of a higher status than him! As I said before, commedia dell'arte can be very formulaic (especially by the late 1700s when it is being codified away from being improv focused to being cemented into scripts). From all of these visual and characterization clues, Lestat is not playing Lelio the young lover, he's playing a Harlequin! And his costume seems to be heavily based off of this Harlequin (Arlecchino, Arlecino, etc.) which is literally the wikipedia image of a Harlequin.
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(note, if you give a fuck, this image is depicting an Arlechino from 1671, roughly 125 years before Lestat on stage. in my mind, this accounts for the changes in silhouette, styling, why Lestat doesn't wear the mask for the entirety of the performance, etc. Also, just while we're talking about costuming, I believe the late 18th Century was still a time in which actors would have been expected to provide their own costumes, which would explain why Lestat's version is made with expensive fabrics and includes cunty little details like the bow in his hair. At the very least, I can see him making looking good a priority as the owner of the theater and as...well...Lestat.)
Okay, okay, okay. Why does this matter?
Harlequins are not characters of any social status. They're servants who are quick witted enough to get into antics but stupid enough to be commanded by animalistic instincts (lust, food, you name it). The Harlequin being beaten by their master was ENORMOUSLY funny, and is the origin of the term "slapstick comedy". They a memorable iteration of clown.
In this scene, which I'm willing to bet was inspired by (if not outright) Carlo Goldoni's A Servant of Two Masters, Lestat plays a servant who interacts with two characters. One appears to be a young woman in a breeches part - another common trope of commedia performance. The other appears to be the young male lover! We see Lestat prancing between the two, seemingly facilitating some romance plot, being paid for his compliance, and doing a good ol fashioned butt lazzi. (Could he be presenting his ass for beating? Maybe.)
So why is Lestat not the young valiant lover, but instead A LITERAL CLOWN? Three potential, not conflicting, reasons. By the time Lestat is performing (mid to late 1790s, based off Armand's earlier comment about Robespierre's 1794 execution), the Harlequin characters were the most sought after roles! At this time, we are seeing the emergence of "Celebrity Culture" where audiences sought out actors for their off-stage personalities as much as their on-stage ones. This is an extremely fitting position for Lestat to fall into. Yay a semblance of historical accuracy!
Secondly, Lestat's ENTIRE ROLE in season two is to come between this season's new pair of young(ish) lovers: Louis & Armand. Lestat's function is to repeatedly detract and distract from their relationship through Dreamstat's antics (appearing at the piano calling Louis a whore, having Louis re-kill him, etc.). Additionally, simply put, Lestat (and Sam Reid as Lestat) is a lot of fun to watch. He is absolutely a stand out (if not THE stand out) of the show! His constant ability to serve cunt is often what your eye is drawn to, he pulls focus to himself, and often undercuts the more subdued, philosophical, and morose nature of others. Both on-stage and on-screen, Lestat continuously upstages his screen partners. He does kinda function as a Harlequin. But in the end, the Harlequin's antics are also what ultimately drive the young lovers together. If not for Lestat's actions, Louis and Armand would have never met nor bonded over knowing this fucked up brat prince.
But we also have to remember! This portion of the episode is presented by Armand the mind fuckery master. It is absolutely in his best interests to paint Lestat as some sort of ridiculous, lesser being driven by animalistic nature. Especially if - by extension of the metaphor - this frames he and Louis as the virtuous and optimistic young lovers, striving to cling to each other in a world of chaos. I would be EXTREMELY interested to see if, when recollected by someone else, Lestat appears in a different role or characterized differently.
Again, given the celebrity culture of the time and Lestat being himself, it is entirely believable that he would appear in the Harlequin role (Truffaldino, if this is Goldoni's Servant). However, I think it's extremely telling that in Armand's iteration of the story Lestat is not the dignified, refined, and sympathetic young romantic. He is instead a literal fucking clown.
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rjzimmerman · 19 days ago
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Excerpt from this story from The Conversation:
In humans and other animals, ageing is generally associated with a decline in biological function. But scientists are now discovering older animals perform vital roles in populations and ecosystems.
Unfortunately, however, old animals can suffer the most from human activity such as over-fishing and trophy hunting. And the value of old, wise animals is not usually considered when we manage animal populations and seek to protect biodiversity.
Our new review, published today in Science, draws on evidence from around the world to argue for a new approach called “longevity conservation”.
The loss of old and wise animals has devastating global consequences. Clearly, more must be done to prioritise their survival.
Cold-blooded (ectothermic) animals such as fish and reptiles tend to keep growing throughout their life. This means older individuals are generally larger than younger individuals.
Being bigger has benefits, especially when it comes to feeding and reproduction. It’s widely known the number of offspring increases with age in fish and many other ectotherms. But it’s only recently been discovered that older mothers of some fish and sea turtles produce exponentially more offspring as time goes on. Their young may also have better chances of survival.
Survival rates are can be higher in offspring from older mothers in other species too. For example, in birds older parents and their helpers often provide more food and better habitat for their chicks, improving fledgling survival rates.
Females from a range of species tend to select older males as mates. These males commonly assume crucial social roles, such as leading long distance movements like migration, and regulating social structures, such as reducing aggressive behaviour. These behaviours influence decision-making with direct consequences for group and offspring survival.
Some animals draw on experience accumulated over the course of their lifetime in order to make better decisions. In elephants, mothers and grandmothers are repositories of knowledge.
This “grandmother effect”, first studied in humans, also occurs in whales. Wise grandmother killer whales, which no longer reproduce, help their families find food when it is scarce and this benefits survival.
In a wide range of species, new research is showing how older individuals transmit their knowledge to others via a process called cultural transmission. The benefits of old age extend to animals such as migratory birds, pack-hunting carnivores, and even fish. For example, taking all the big fish from some populations has diminished their collective group memory often needed for migration and knowledge of spawning areas.
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tofu83 · 4 months ago
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What men bred for.
2. Guards
The alien masters never imagined that there are such versatile and easy-to-tame highly intelligent animals in the universe. Well, compared to the masters, the people on earth are actually inferior in intelligence.
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The masters' scientists originally only developed breeds for military use, carefully selecting suitable genes so that the humans bred would be strong, aggressive, but united and obedient male individuals.
However, with military success, public opinion began to demand the development of breeds that could also be used by civilians, so breeds that were smaller, more independent, but still highly obedient to their owners were developed. They were also implanted with nanobots when they were young adults, so that their bodies could better meet the needs of their owners. At the same time, control helmets are also installed. Of course, they absolutely obey their owners, but they still need consciousness control to prevent them from attacking each other.
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They are kept by many owners as pets and guards, just like humans kept dogs in the past. They take pride in pleasing and being appreciated by their owners, who can make them very excited and proud just by touching their bodies. If they perform outstandingly, such as helping their master fight off robbers or thieves, or assisting in hunting, completing various daily tasks, etc., their master will upgrade their bodies as a more glorious reward.
Master’s scientists have also discovered that when the physical parts of human males of this breed are covered in tight rubber and artificial leather, they will be extremely excited and even fall into a euphoric state, which is only seen during the mating period of primitive species.
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Scientists are still unable to explain the exact reason why male humans have physiological reactions to rubber and leather, but they have been widely used commercially to improve the maneuverability and work performance of human guards.
In addition, a new type of guards that first covers the whole male body in a rubber bodysuit , then strengthens the body with nanotechnology, and finally covers it with armor has been put into production. The consciousness of these guards is extremely pleasurable, and their bodies are controlled like puppets by microcomputers implanted in the back of their necks. They will soon be assigned to law enforcement agencies everywhere to protect, serve, and obey forever.
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beccawise7 · 1 month ago
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Tuesday Tidbits:
~One minute of passionate kissing burns 6.4 calories. (Pucker up😘).
~A tiny, male marsupial in Australia, has sex for up to 12 hours straight. The exhausted males drop dead shortly after. (I'm all for being an overachiever, but this seems counterproductive). 😬😜
~70% of people surveyed said they lied on their resumes. 37% of those people admitted to lying at work frequently. 👀🤥
~Exercise improves brain performance & helps you sleep better. 🧠🏋️ #fact
~A female orgasm can burn between 60-100 calories, where male orgasms only burn 3-5. (Raise your hand, ladies, if you want to drop some calories). 🙋😂
~Men & women who perform oral sex on their partners are healthier & happier than those who don't. (I've been saying this for years). 🤣🤷
~It costs nothing to be kind. ✌️💜🖤✌️
Have a fabulous Tuesday & don't forget to laugh a little!
~beccawise7 💜🖤
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hadesoftheladies · 1 year ago
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female separatism isn’t about preference or “hating men.” i wish people would understand that separatism is vital to our health as women right now. one of the biggest things patriarchy has taken from us is MOBILITY and HEALTH. can you imagine a world where you wouldn’t be harassed for wanting to be tended to by only women? where female doctors and nurses that knew and prioritized female biology tended to you? streets where you could stroll and not feel a sliver of self-consciousness. where walking didn’t have to be a performance or a race from a man whistling at you?
i used to love going down to the river running at the bottom of the hill where my grandmother’s house sat. now I start to see more and more farm boys and farm men bathing in the spots I loved to rest in. I can’t be free even out there in the country. I have to be chaperoned. go in twos and threes. I can’t WANDER. i can’t run into the wild or bathe in the river. I can’t bask shirtless in the sun.
do women know how physically constrained we are? in corsets and brad and tight dresses because we must always prioritize aesthetics over happiness. we conflate approval and relief for joy. it drives me mad when I see the freedom men have. how wide their strides. how they can break out in a wrestle. how they aren’t taught to deform their bodies. how they are encouraged to nurture their physical power.
I wanted to go to the gymn by my neighbourhood, and my dad got annoyed with me. because it wasn’t safe. the only other segregated gymn in my whole city is miles away and unaffordable.
I taste separatism every time i sleepover at one of my sisters or we go on a retreat together. we can say anything. we relax. we bond and listen to each other. in all our different personalities.
but when there’s men in the conversation, everything becomes tedious. the banter becomes low hanging fruit. the conversation becomes competitive and thoughtless. it’s all about saying the most ludicrous thing for attention. it drags into politics of the worst kind.
and it poisons relationships. my sisters get a little meaner about other women. it’s so subtle and quick you wouldn’t notice it.
I long to be able to reach for women in history and not hunt for their names. not wade through the stories of their husbands or fathers before getting to them. I long for a world where female artists didn’t have to prostitute themselves for the male gaze, didn’t have to cripple their work by being nice to men.
even now in the modern age where information is more accessible than ever, you have to cut through so much noise to get to the voices of women. you have to cut through sob stories for killers and rapists before you get to the victims. you have to wade through male greats to get to their female predecessors.
if men aren’t talking over women, women are quieting themselves or too busy clamoring for another man’s attention, because his approval is power.
I want to show up to work without being condescended by a man who feels threatened by me. I am tired of censoring myself for male comfort.
who would I be, what could I do, if my movement, my body, my self-determination was not constantly suppressed. how many thoughts have I not allowed myself to think because the cost of speaking was too inconvenient?
cutting off male friends that violated my boundaries has already improved my quality of life, what would happen if I could be free of all of them?
I’d be healthier. happier. I’d be so much happier.
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