#Implied Sara Smith/Runner 5

[gaylienspeedster]

End of the Tunnel

(Spoilers for seasons 1-5, depictions of violence)

There wasn’t a lot Five knew for certain but she did know that Sam Yao was the best of them. It would be an understatement to say that things hadn’t exactly gone well for Five over the past couple of years. You’d think things couldn’t possibly get worse in the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse but Five learned quickly that the universe was stupidly creative in coming up with ways to make her and everyone she cared about hurt. Between Moonchild and Sigrid and...Sara there were days where Five felt like she was running on a treadmill, running for nothing. She always completed the mission, always made it in time but they still kept on losing. Even their small victories created too many ghosts for Five to consider them victories at all and when their voices echoed in her head when she tried to sleep at night, she couldn’t help but think that there was nothing that could ever make this hell better.

But then she would stagger outside her room in NOAH Base after another sleepless night and Sam Yao would be waiting for her with a tired smile and some dorky joke that always seemed to make her laugh. Sam reminded Five of what she was fighting for, and why Abel had to win. She was fighting for Sam’s wide childlike grin when she brought him a Curly Wurly after one of her runs, she was fighting for the hours she listened to Sam talk about what would have happened in the next Star Wars movie that never got to premiere, she fought for the pure love in his gaze when he held baby Sara. Sam was the best of humanity, and Sam was what made Five keep running for that ever so distant light at the end of the tunnel. The light of a world with no Sigrid and no zombies. A world where people could just enjoy chocolate and movies and being human again. And Ian wanted to take all that away from Five.

Five had encountered plenty of horrible people during the apocalypse, she had witnessed nearly everyone she loved suffer but nothing filled Five with rage quite like hearing that weasel Golightly gleefully torment Sam through her headset. Red seeped through her vision as she ran into Ian’s panic room, taking him to the ground with a flying tackle. Five looked at the man who she had pinned to the floor, saw the cowardly terror in his watery green eyes. And then Five exploded. She drove her fist into Ian’s face for Cameo,Lobatse, Steve,Nadia, Owen Sam,Abel. As she kept hitting him, the impact of her fist sounding gradually wetter, it stopped being about Ian. Five unleashed what she hoped was at least a fraction of the pain that she carried with her every day because a few selfish people wanted to play God. The ghosts danced in her head as the movement of her arm became almost mechanical. Archie. Evan. Owen. Simon. Sara.Sara.Sara. A voice in Five’s head told her to stop, that she would kill Ian if she kept going. The louder voice didn’t care. “Five…” a soft plea. Five paused.

Ian rolled his head to the side weakly and coughed up two teeth before passing out with a pained groan. Five’s left hand was in a white knuckled grip on Ian’s shirt, her right hand poised for another blow, knuckles dusted red, Fived noticed dimly that it had started shaking. Five felt a light stream of wetness traveling down her cheek and realized with shame that at some point she had started crying. Five took a shaky breath before releasing her grip on Ian, turning to look at Sam. What she saw almost compelled her to continue beating the ever loving shit out of Ian. Sam was tied to a chair in the center of the room shirtless, his face and torso covered in bruises and streaked with blood. Five quickly strode to Sam and cut him free, he staggered to his feet before collapsing in her arms resting his head on her shoulder. “My hero” her murmured next to her ear. Sam pulled back and looked at Five’s face, frowning when he saw the tear stains on her cheeks “are you okay Five?” he asked softly. Sam had been kept prisoner and tortured for days. And he asked if she was ok. “We need to get you to a doctor Sam” Five said, dodging the question. Sam paused before pulling her into another hug, Five hoped that the way she held him answered his question. I’m okay now that you’re safe.

Soon Sam was excitedly talking about flags and celebrating as they carried Ian to stop the bomb, the battering of his body doing nothing to break his spirit. There was no amount of pain that Five could inflict on any of the people responsible for the suffering of those she loved that could take away the hurt that pulsed in her mind, that would stay there long after the world was reborn. But the small burst of golden light she felt in her chest whenever she was reminded of Sam’s existence made it worth running with that hurt to the end of the dark tunnel.