#Im kinda jealous la

[pinkmonkey21]

Hey @mortalmab

WTF

ordered pizza from a small local place and they didnt actually cut it so i've chosen to revert to a wild animal and begin ripping it apart instead of just using a knife to portion slices

[star-girl69]

Because Of You

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!AphroditeCabin!Reader

—-

synopsis: years after your rite of passage, the boy who’s heart you broke just won’t leave you alone. clarisse, your girlfriend, quickly decides she’s not a fan.

a/n: should i stop procrastinating and then forcing myself to write shitty fics quickly? probably. but not today!! this is kinda just like an au of dont delete the kisses but… you guessed it… IDC!!!!!!!! from this ask

thank you all so much for patiently waiting i love y’all soooooo muuccchhhhhh 🫶🫶💋 as i mentioned on my acc i have the next week off from school, pls expect more content then!!

Because Of You - Lana Del Rey (Unreleased)

warnings: NOT PROOFREAD, this sucks so bad y’all sorry lolllll, y/n is a year round camper!, starts out very background heavy but i really don’t care 😭, creepy men UGH, ugly bitches not being able to let shit go, im gonna say sexual harassment just incase, swearing, usual demigod stuff y’all know what you’re getting into, jealous!clarisse YESSS, possessive!clarisse ik i screamed!!, protective!clarisse too, slightly graphic makeout scene, i think that’s all, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

When you were young, you were thrilled by the thought of love.

The idea of belonging not only with someone- bodies fitting together like puzzles pieces- but belonging to someone- wrapping around you like a warm blanket.

Later, your half-siblings would describe mostly similar experiences to yours- an overwhelming desire to be loved, wanted, needed. Ever since you ran into camp with a monster hot on your heels and satyr shouting encouragement next to you- everyone’s stared at you. They poke and prod, they act like they’ve never seen a daughter of Aphrodite before.

It’s annoying, but it makes you feel good- but not quite.

Until Alek came along.

You were both 13, you still believed in soulmates, and you wanted nothing more than to be with each other for the rest of your lives.

You were 13, and he felt like the only one for you.

And when you had to break up with him to fulfill your rite of passage- it felt like the world was ending. You cried for days and begged your sister Phoebe to say it wasn’t a true, it was just a mean, mean prank.

But she couldn’t tell you that, and there were more types of love that romantic.

While you longed to hold someone, to be held- you also craved your mother’s approval like you were starving. You wanted her love, you wanted her to visit you in your dreams, you wanted gifts from her, you wanted everything and anything she could give you.

So, it hurt like you had never known hurt before, but you did it. Alek seemed entirely indifferent to it, almost ignoring you and pretending you hadn’t said it- but you felt a warmness around you, a dove flew between trees, you knew your mother was there and she approved.

Breaking up with Alek felt like the sun had exploded on top of you.

Being with Clarisse felt like the sun was wrapped around you.

—-

After Alek’s initial denial, he went through all the other stages of grief, mourned your relationship like you did, and you came out on the other side with a one-sided agreement to forget it ever happened.

Alek got stuck. Or went back. He started to believe that you were still meant to be, that much you could tell.

Until that day at the training fields when your hand slipped at archery and you almost shot Clarisse in the head- and she had glared at you so harshly while you ran over and examined her head, gushing out apologies and fretting over her.

She pushed you away, hand lingering for a second, eyes softening before she quickly looked away.

“Just… be more careful,” she had said, almost like a question, like she wasn’t sure the words were coming out of her mouth.

And, Gods, were you terrified it was all some secret plan. Make you think it was alright only to corner you in the woods and probably kill you, or something.

And when she asked the next day to teach you how to shoot a bow, you agreed with tears in your eyes, knowing of her reputation, and it took a lot of trust and a lot of swapped secrets for her to prove to you it wasn’t all some elaborate plan.

But even if her plan was to kill you the entire time, you fell in love over her fixing your stance, hands brushing as you accidentally grabbed the same arrow, stolen looks across the pavilion.

It wasn’t until a random kid bumped into you, making you fall and twist your ankle. Clarisse had this look in her eyes that was so genuine, so full of love and care for you, softly caressing your leg after she had punched the other kid in the face.

And you realize as she said you were doing great, limping while she helped you to the infirmary, that this was something.

And as much as you hated the violence being committed over you, it was the hottest thing you’ve ever seen, and the warmth in your chest was all you had ever wanted. This was what it was like to belong with someone, to someone, with her, to her.

This was what it was like to be admired. Loved. Wanted. Needed.

And when she softly told you goodbye, you had kissed the corner of her lips and thanked her- turning to walk into your cabin, ankle already feeling better thanks to the ambrosia.

She grabbed you by the wrist and turned you around, pulling you against her tightly and kissing you so harshly like she had just found the secret to the world in her lips on yours, her hands on your hips.

And when she finally pulled away, embarrassing strings of spit connecting your lips, she said she was sorry. Probably the first time she had ever said that to someone, and you smiled.

“Sorry. It’s just… once your lips were on mine, I don’t think I can ever stop. I don’t wanna stop.”

And she kissed you again and it was all you ever wanted out of this life- to love and be loved, to hold and to be held, and it was all because of her.

—-

The welcome back campfire is your favorite time of year.

It’s when the camp comes alive, when the Gods themselves seem to return to this place- even Mr. D is a bit more lively with all the pure infectious energy running through the first few days of camp. Everyone’s getting settled, classes haven’t started quite yet, and the year round campers get a much needed break.

As much as you and Clarisse wanted to keep things private, when she punches someone in the middle of the pavilion for accidentally bumping into you, it’s not hard to figure out Clarisse cares for you more than she does anyone else.

And after one of your younger siblings, Cara, a 12-year-old notorious for staying up late, saw you and Clarisse kissing that first night- it spread like wildfire.

But it was the winter, so it still felt secret, until summer rolled around and Clarisse kept getting more and more annoyed by every camper who entered the gates. She would grab at you in the middle of meals, drag you into her bed, even kiss you in public- do all these things that seemed so out of character for her, but she was a different person when she was with you.

Everyone had been looking at you oddly all night, shocked, confused, even Clarisse has cracked a genuine smile at someone who dropped their drink- squeezing your hand.

Maybe they had all heard the rumors. Maybe they didn’t believe them.

But it’s all cleared up when Clarisse leads you to the best seat, the log not too far from the fire but not too close, wrapping her arms around you and kissing your temple.

Your cheeks heat up, only because Clarisse is never this touchy in public, and never around this many people before.

All of the eyes on you feel weird- they feel so judging.

And you’re not used to that, however vain it may be.

“Everyone’s staring at us,” you mumble, shuffling closer to Clarisse so your legs are pressed together.

She leans her head against your shoulder. “‘S okay. Don’t worry about ‘em, baby.”

You huff. “Did no one ever teach them it’s rude to stare, though? Like… c’mon.”

She sighs dramatically, lifting her head from your shoulder.

“Stop fuckin’ staring,” she says. Not quiet shouting, but her voice is loud and forceful. Her voice carries weight.

And eventually, at the risk of Clarisse’s wrath, all the wandering eyes stop.

A few of Clarisse’s siblings laugh from around you, commenting that the stares were getting a bit ridiculous, everyone just grateful that you all might get a little reprieve from the overwhelming stares and whispers.

But, you still feel uneasy. Clarisse kisses your shoulder.

And while you look around at the faces very pointedly not staring at you, there’s one person who still is. You roll your eyes, open your mouth to comment on it- but your mouth quickly snaps close at the sight of Alek.

—-

You don’t mention it to Clarisse. Maybe because breaking his heart haunts you, maybe what could have been haunts you.

You try not to think of Alek or that night, you try not to think of the entire age of 13. You always knew that Alek never quite let you go. He still sort of believed that the two of you would come back together- subscribing to some abstract belief soulmates.

You don’t think about Alek. Everything you do is because of her, because of Clarisse.

Sometimes, knowing you have secret admirers makes you feel all happy, but now that Clarisse sneaks you into her cabin every night- it makes you feel weird. You really don’t want anyone except for Clarisse, the idea of even being near someone else kinda disgusts you.

But, you choose to believe that maybe he was just shocked, and he’ll get over it in a few days.

You spend your days in the summer sun with Clarisse, holding her hand on walks through the strawberry fields, still using your archery lessons to spend time together, staring at each other from across the pavilion at meals, dreaming about a future together when it gets dark and you’re forced to whisper softly.

Alek is just always lurking. Is it coincidence? Is he stalking you? Every time you’re with Clarisse, trying to enjoy a nice date, he’s there- staring at you like a lovesick puppy.

And if it wasn’t because of her, you would probably be flattered. But you have Clarisse, you’ve moved on, you’re in love and happy.

It’s the late afternoon, you’re trying to enjoy a long moment with her, breathe in the sweet smell and just feel how happy you are, know it’s because of her.

The fields are still crowded with kids who pushed off their chores until the end of the day, so you and Clarisse stay on the outskirts. Not too far into the woods that’s filled with satyrs and nymphs who have grown very hostile towards any two campers who make their way into the woods. But not too close.

You don’t even register that other people are there. You’re going on about your annoying half-brother, she’s pretending to listen intently- but it’s just enough to be here with her, and at least she’s listening to the sound of your voice. At least that brings her some comfort, and that makes you feel good.

“And then, he said-” you trail off, feeling like something’s crawling all over you, practically being able to feel the anger in the air.

“Hm, what?” Clarisse asks, snapping out of her reverie at your silence.

Alek is glaring at you, of course. It just feels so juvenile. You had received letters from him for years- ones that he didn’t sign- but you knew. He said that the two of you had so much more to give together, that a second chance was all he needed to make you forget about the rite of passage, about pleasing your mother.

Clarisse squeezes your hand, leaning closer to you.

You used to like the feeling of getting those letters, of knowing you were loved and wanted. But now, with Clarisse, because of her- it feels wrong.

She follows your eye line and Alek quickly looks away, back down at the strawberries he’s supposed to be picking.

Clarisse’s hand tightens around yours.

“Who the hell is that?” she huffs.

You suck in a breath. “Alek.”

“Al-huh?”

You smile, despite how uneasy you feel.

“Alek, Clarisse. From my rite of passage?”

“Oh,” she nods, nose scrunching ever so slightly. “The one who left you those creepy letters? Has he left anymore?”

“No, no,” you say, risking one more glance at his back- just to assure yourself. Maybe you’re just making it all up. “Not since last summer. I mean, he was staring at us the night of the bonfire too, he’s always around on all our dates- it’s just creepy, at this point.”

“Sounds like the fucker has a death wish,” she drawls. “I’d be happy to help him with it.”

You bump her shoulder with yours. “Yeah, yeah Miss Violence.”

She smiles back, but she searches her eyes and you can tell she doesn’t like what she sees.

“Hey, c’mon. I’ll kill him if he pulls some shit again.”

“Clarisse.”

“Beat him up?”

“Clarisse.”

“Physically threaten him?”

“Clar-”

She smacks her hand over your mouth. “Shhh,” she smiles. “Don’t stress. I’ll take care of it.”

“Clarisse!” you shout, laughing, but her hand is still pressed tight over your moth.

“Oh, sorry, baby, I can’t hear you!”

“Bitch,” you hiss, and she frowns.

“Mean.”

—-

Clarisse, unfortunately, is true to her word.

Alek finally leaves you a note. It’s simple, unsigned, but obviously him. You recognize his chicken scratch scrawl.

All it says is:

I miss you, we could be something

She writes him a note back, a long one- first talking about all of her accomplishments as a daughter of Ares, then detailing all the ways she’ll make him regret thinking about you.

She tells you now, whispers in her bed, she laughs and your mouth hangs open.

“Clarisse!” you gasp, scolding her with a soft hit to her shoulder.

She rolls her eyes and moves closer to you.

“What else was I supposed to do? Ignore it? You don’t know me if you think I could just ignore some random dude flirting with my girlfriend. He’s a fuckin’ weirdo, and hopefully that note will teach him somethin’.”

“I mean. I doubt it will,” you mumble after a moment.

She smiles, your heart squeezes- because her smile is so beautiful- and because Clarisse never smiles like this. It’s bloodthirsty. It’s almost inhuman. It’s Godly.

“Then I’ll have to teach him in… other terms.”

—-

Dinner this evening is slow and relaxed. It’s Friday, so you’ve all made it to the end of the first official week of camp. Chiron let’s the rules fade away tonight, cabin tables have been abandoned and everyone sits where they want.

A few Hermes kids volunteered to start a fire, Mr D is busy trying to get the new kids to sneak him some alcohol- but he’s hard pressed to find ones who haven’t already been warned not to.

The energy in the air is infectious. The promise of a late wake up tomorrow, a fun night, the feeling of the moon and the fire, warmth on your skin- it’s a recipe for lowered inhibitions, for everything to come a little easier.

Clarisse sits next to you a table in the pavilion. You’re surrounded by Silena and Beckendorf, a few Hermes kids, a few Ares kids- a big mosh of random campers squeezed together at this one table- but it works, for whatever reason.

There’s nothing like laughing at someone’s shitty joke and feeling Clarisse laugh with you, pressed close to her so you can feel her chest rumble, feel her arm squeeze around you.

“He did what?!” Silena screeches, looking at you with wide eyes.

You laugh at her shock, at the audacity of Alek.

She sneaks a quick glance at Clarisse, who seems entirely engrossed in her siblings’ arm wresting tournament at the next table over.

“Yeah,” you sigh, feeling sort of complacent with it now. It’s not like anything will change. You’re here because of her, because of Clarisse. Everything you do is because of her.

Breathing, eating, sleeping. Basic human functions and the need to survive has only strengthened with the motivation of staying alive for her.

“Anyways,” you smile. “Clarisse left him back this big, long note. All about how she’s the strongest girl at camp,” you roll your eyes, but you’re smiling too big to be anything but joking. Besides, everyone knows she’s probably right. “And then threatened him a whole bunch. So, hopefully, he’ll just get his head out of his ass and then everything will be good again.”

You breathe out at the end of your small rant, and Silena smiles sympathetically.

“Hopefully,” she echoes.

But, because of Clarisse, because of her arms around you, you don’t feel anything but peace.

—-

Of course, life is not straightforward for demigods.

At the end of the day, you’re doomed to fall in your parents footsteps- except there is no immortality for you to fall back on. You’re vain and you’re proud, just like your parents, and you step too far, jump too high, and you’re as left dust on the floor.

Even though the same path had been left out for you to repeat, doomed footsteps to follow in, you step where they stepped and expect a different end.

The night is pitch black, besides for the brilliant stars and the bright, bright moon. It makes everything feel so private and secret. It makes Clarisse relax, makes her hold you closer but looser.

It feels good to feel her arm loose around you. She’s not afraid of you disappearing, because she knows of someone dragged you away you would rise up from the waves and straight back into her, into her arms.

The Apollo kids are playing music, voices hum along, the night is on fire with the crackles and the rising smoke, on fire with the peace, the content.

It feels like nothing can hurt you here.

But you’re a demigod, and life is not that easy.

The seat next to you is abandoned, and you barely even take notice as it’s quickly filled again- but you take notice of the eyes on you, of the body leaning forward to speak softly to you.

The fact that he’s here, the fact that he blatantly didn’t listen- you suppose you could have felt some sympathy for before, craving a life that wasn’t his anymore. Living off of memories made him too hungry.

Your mouth presses into a thin line as you recognize the voice in your ear.

“Y/N, I jus’ wanna talk.”

The rest of the table has fallen silent, and you realize everyone had almost immediately taken notice of his entrance- and you could tell by the way Clarisse’s body was tense against yours- he would regret ever coming over here.

“Clarisse,” you mumble, shifting closer to her.

She hooks her head over her shoulder, shifting completely so she’s straddling the bench, pressed up against your back.

Her tone is genuinely confused.

“Are you, like, okay in the head?”

The table, previously silent with fear, now bubbles with forced laughter.

“It’s not of your business,” Alek says, staring directly into your eyes. You feel like a deer caught in headlights, just completely shocked, too scared to move like it will all become real.

Clarisse puts her hand on your forehead and floats it down across your face, and your eyes voluntarily flutter shut.

“You’re not even worthy of being looked at by her,” and you can hear the smile on her voice. She confidence seeping from her pores- you can feel it all with the way she’s protectively wrapped around you.

“Y/N,” he says again, ignoring her through gritted teeth. “I just want to talk.”

“If you say one more fuckin’ word to my girlfriend I’m gonna kill you.”

There’s no smile on her voice, no edge of a joke. Not even angry. She’s deathly calm. She’s focused, like a 20 pound weight sinking to the bottom of the sea. She cuts through whatever she has to and everything else knows to avoid her.

You don’t know why the hell Alek just can’t let the 13 year old version of you go, why he’s looking something where there’s nothing, and you’re just so done with all of this.

You open your eyes, sitting up, letting Clarisse’s arms fall around you in confusion.

“Alek,” you start, softly. “We dated for a month when we were 13. That’s all it was, that’s all it’s ever gonna be. It’s over, okay?”

“Exactly,” he breathes. “A month when we were 13- and we were that good together? We could do so much more now, I wanna show you.”

“Okay, I’m done,” you mumble, standing up.

And without you in between, Alek finally gets a good look at the daughter of war. She’s pure, streamlined muscle. Every inch of her body has been meticulously trained to kill monsters- Alek knows that killing him would be easy.

Clarisse cracks her knuckles and you almost laugh at how cinematic it is.

—-

You hum as you run the alcohol pad over her split knuckles. Clarisse likes to leave the scars like this, the small ones, let them heal on her own. Even though she winces at the feeling, you know she’ll be walking around, proudly showing off her scabs until they finally fade away. She’ll cross her fingers and hope they scar, probably.

Clarisse watches you with admiration, admiring your movements, your voice, even though you’re really not doing anything special. But, to her, everything you do is special.

“Did you see how bad his face was?” she asks, trying to remain calm, but eagerness slips into her voice.

“I did,” you laugh. “It was real bad, baby. Good job.”

She huffs, as if it’s common knowledge.

“I always do a good job, just matters what level of good I’m on. I think this was one of my best works though, huh?”

She admires her split knuckles and you roll your eyes, finally starting to put some bandaids on the clean wounds.

“You’re crazy,” you mutter.

She shrugs. “You’re the one who let me. You’re the one who loves me.”

“Yeah,” you mumble after a moment, not really wanting to lie to her, tease her right now. She smiles soft and sweet, placing her fingertips against your jawline and leaning forward.

“Did you like watching me?” she breathes, her low voice hitting you right in the stomach, breath against your lips.

You circle her biceps with your hands and run them up and down the tense muscle.

“You know I did.”

“Three months no dessert,” she smiles.

“Three months of sharing with you,” you laugh. She smiles wider before finally, mercifully, putting her lips on yours.

Everything you do is because of Clarisse. It feels so good to be close to her like this- practically in her lap- fo feel how strong she is, to know what she did for you today.

It feels so good to know she loves you.

When you pull away, trying to chase her, she dodges you and kisses your jawline, your neck, and you throw your head back and release the most unladylike sounds as she leaves hickies on your neck, seemingly determined to make them as dark as possible, as easy to see. And a lot of them.

“Jealous?” you say, biting your lip to keep in a moan.

“Just want everyone to know you’re my girl. Want everyone to know who makes you feel good, feel loved, huh?”

You stomach twists and your mind goes blank.

“Huh?” she repeats, sticking her face in your neck to breathe in and out, catching her breath. “Why you feelin’ like this, baby?”

“Because of you,” you breathe. “Because of you, Clarisse.”

—-

y/n walking around the next day looking like she got attacked by a vampire

silena trying to be happy for y’all but also concerned for your health

clarisse just being proud as hell

—-

this was small so idk if y’all picked it up but clarisse was jealous before alek even came along- jealous that there were more campers coming! like? she just doesn’t like unworthy losers looking at her girl 🙄

—-

possessive!clarisse i love you so much baby

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish @rebecca37 @saltair-and-palemoonlight @ace-spades-1

[bengals-barnesbabe]

Pairing: Joe Burrow x Singer!Fem Reader

Summary: Venus goes on live after rehearsal and lets her fans take a glimpse into what her and Joe's nights together are like.

Chapter 24: Mr. Perfect

#Track9 Masterlist | Main Masterlist

TW: implied smut, language, haters.

WC: about 2k

Part 1 🖤

₊˚ପ ⊹ ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ꕥ

@musicbyvenus has started an Instagram Live! Come join!

“Hello, all you beautiful people. How are my babes doing tonight? I haven’t done this in a hot minute, so be patient with me. I had a really long day and thought the best way to unwind would be for me to unload onto my darling fans.” The woman chuckled to herself while watching the viewer count grow by hundreds per minute.

Tell us all about your day bestie!

How are rehearsals going?

Are you gonna release the set list yet?

How’s Joe doing?

Where’s Joe?!?

“Wow these are coming in fast. I’m going to try and answer as many of your questions as possible, but thank you guys for just being here with me. I know I tend to go a bit awol with my public appearances, so I appreciate everyone here. Rehearsals are going great, I’m very happy with how the show is looking.”

 @MarsOfficial Im expecting a least two Hamilton songs while I’m in attendance 

“You always expect so much of me; you’re starting to sound like my mother, Y/Bff.”

@MarsOfficial then maybe you should start listening to me

A light-hearted giggle makes its way into the air as she reads her best friend’s comment. “I always listen to you!”

@MarsOfficial fat liesssss

“Y'all listen; the only reason I am in a relationship right now is because Y/Bff and Riana, two of my best friends, literally pushed us together. None of this would’ve happened without them.”

“What wouldn’t have happened without who?” A deep voice coming from behind her says.

OMG ITS JOEY

Joe said shit i have to work lol

PLEASE ASK HIM TO STAY

ON GOD HES SO HOT

I DON'T KNOW WHY I expected him to walk in shirtless, but I’m kinda disappointed 

IS HE COMING TO THE LA SHOW???

“I was talking about how we got together.” Y/n peaks behind herself to watch the quarterback snicker while fishing through their kitchen cabinets.

“Oh you mean when your friends pretended to be my ex to make you jealous? Yea they were a great help.” Joe rolled his eyes while grabbing a snack and a bottle of water. “I’ll have you know, I was fully capable of doing that on my own.”

@Riri.intl24 why is he lying, he had almost two years to make a move and DIDNT

“Riana begs to differ. Can you grab me-“ Y/n’s cut off by her own water and snack being dangled in front of her. “Thank you.”

WHAT A GENTLEMAN 

UGH I WANT ONE

IS THAT A CLIFF BAR

Y/n we’re judging you so hard right now

Joe takes a seat next to her but slightly out of camera. “Of course, and tell Riana I was trying to time it right.”

“Ok Mr. Time-Is-Of-The-Essence.” She smirked, then turned back to her phone. “Why are you people roasting my cliff bar?”

@MarsOfficial because you once said it tasted like good dirt then proceeded to inhale one

“I’m going to ignore that. Let’s answer some questions! Yes, Joey’s going to be at the LA show. I am not releasing the set list, but I do have an announcement regarding it. I’ve decided that my show will be about 2 hours long and each show will have 3-4 different surprise songs. I’m very excited about that. If yall have been keeping up on X, then you’d know the first show’s theme is ‘Slumber Party’. Unfortunately I can’t kick anyone out if they don’t dress up-“

ARE YOU ACTUALLY GOING TO PERFORM HAMILTON SONGS?

Is Walk Like This on the Set List

“Fantastic.”

THE NERVE

“You are not anyone, you have to dress up.” She pointed at the man.

YESSS SIS

You should bring him on stage with you!

WALK HIM LIKE A DOG

Joey shook his head and sighed, “I was joking babe, kinda.”

“Uh huh sureeee. Whoever asked about Walk Like This, this answer is 100%. I absolutely love that song and the choreo, ugh amazing. I can’t wait to perform it.”

What song is Joe most excited for?

What songs will you absolutely NOT be singing?

Is ‘The One’ on the no list?

“I don’t even have to ask him which one he wants to see the most. Joey?”

“Crazy for You.” He smiled.

“See, he’s extremely predictable.”

scripted

“Ok hold on, I also like what you did with Tell Me You Love Me.” He so kindly added.

“Why thank you kind sir.”

@lahjay10_ gross

We love a supportive boyfriend 

Husband Material

Get married please

ADOPT ME

Not all of Team Shiesty being in the comments

It's in their dating contract

“Yall are too funny.” Y/n looks over at Joe to see him with his head thrown back laughing. “What is it?”

“Your accent.” He coughed out.

“Joey, I don't have an accent.” She pouts.

Nahhh we know a southern belle when we hear one

Someone forgot she’s from Georgia

You’d think it’d get weaker the longer she stays up north

orrrr maybe she still has it because she doesn't actually live in Ohio

“Yes you do, but don’t worry I think it’s absolutely adorable.”

“I can’t with you.” She rolled her eyes, but the smile spreading across her cheeks told him otherwise.

@MarsOfficial I KNEW IT 

@MarsOfficial I knew he had a thing for your country shit

“Aight, we are getting off task! Is there a No list? Technically yes, but no ‘The One’ is not on it. And before any of you start, Joseph, please tell the people how you feel about ‘The One’ once and for all.” Y/n turns the phone so the fans have a full picture of him.

“I feel like people have been waiting and praying for this moment.” He chuckles brushing his fingers through his hair. 

CAUSE WE HAVEEEEE

TELL USSSS

WE NEED TO KNOW

He raises his right hand. “Ok, everyone listening. I, Joe Burrow of the Cincinnati Bengals.” 

“Oh my god.”

“I’m trying to deliver an address here, princess.” He said sternly. She pretended to zip her mouth shut and throw away the key.

Stop making me feel singleeee

“Ok where were we, right. I, Joe Burrow of the Cincinnati Bengals, solemnly swear that Track Nine is one of my actual favorite songs that Y/n has put out. Now all the commotion stops here, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.” As he finishes, they lock eyes and simultaneously burst into fits of laughter.

I knew it wasn’t that serious

We were clickbaited

THEY FOOLED US

Social Media is the devil

@MarsOfficial I tried to tell you

Her next project is gonna go so crazy

Hiiii from Canada

Instead of turning the phone back towards his girlfriend, Joey gently cuffs her waist and pulls her over to himself so she can continue her job. Then rests his hand over her shoulder.

Yoooo if you couldn’t see the height difference then, you def see it now🤭

Ugh they look so damn good together 

Yall should do an whole day in the life

What happened to not liking cameras Joey???

“Okay guys, I think I’m gonna take a few more questions then call it a night.”

Noooo

Has Joe seen the entire show?

Booooo

Yes get off so Joe can get off from work and see his real girl

European fans here!!!

What is your ideal date night?

“I know I know, but our dinner’s almost here so we gotta wrap this up. No, he has not seen the whole show. I need my man to be surprised too. More importantly, he has no clue how Crazy for Me is being set.” She smirked as she felt his hand move down to her thigh.

Oh they gon wrap something else up tonight too

“Oh but does my mind wonder.” He bites his lip, no longer able to pay attention to anything but the woman on his right.

Omg the sexual tension is brewing

His hand continues to stroke her thigh until his phone goes off. “Fuck, food’s here.” He gets up and rounds the couch, but before he completely passes her their dark eyes meet and he makes a quick stop. 

@MarsOfficial I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, they are literally CRAZY for each other

Dream vacation??

I’m sorry why can’t a man look at me like that

She was right about this not lasting very long

Shiiiiii I wonder how long HE lasts👀

@lahjay10_ yalls comments are getting out of hand

A strong but gentle hand lightly pulls her head back and they smile before he connects his lips to hers for a shy but sweet kiss, then he pecks her forehead and leaves the frame. 

AGAIN A MAN LIKE THAT PLEASE

GOD WHOEVER IS LISTENING THANK YOU

That looked mad forced

You make me feel so single🤧

If you weren’t famous, what would you be doing?

Y/n quickly clears her throat before looking back at her comments. 

@lahjay10_ oh god, get that off of my phone

She’s so flusteredddd

Girl we understand whewwww

“Uno, go away. Okay um, speed round. Dream vacation is definitely Greece. Ideal date night depends on how we’re feeling, but you can’t go wrong with a nice restaurant then coming home and getting in the hot tub. If I weren’t famous what would I be doing?”

Joe Burrow.

The man right behind you

That one Cincinnati quarterback maybe🤭

regular shit because they wouldn't even know each other

yall are unhinged 

Her eyes widened and she looked over her shoulder at her boyfriend setting up their dinner. “Hmmmm yes to the first three.”

QUEEN

@Riri.intl24 Girl focus!

@MarsOfficial Ridiculous.

“Ok but for real if I wasn’t famous I guess I’d be trying to put myself through school.” She shrugged.

“Nope, you’d be in your residency program like you’re supposed to because I’d take care of everything. Now sign off of there so I can have my dessert.” He stated from the background.

“We didn’t order any dessert.”

Joe darkly smiled, “we didn’t have to. Everything I want is already here.”

HOT SHIT

OMG

thats so scripted🥱

I THREW THE PHONE

MSKSKFYCYHC

GIRL GO

“Fuck me.” She says under her breath, then reaches for her phone. 

“I’m trying.” 

SCREAMING

@lahjay10_ imma clown his ass for this so much

@MarsOfficial Venus you need to move faster

@Riri.intl24 Esa comida no se comerá pronto

(translation: that food is not getting eaten anytime soon)

“Jesus, bye babes. Love yall, and I can’t wait to meet you soon.” She stands, blows the camera a quick kiss, and turns off the phone.

As she walks toward the dining room, he meets her half way and backs her up against a wall. “Fucking finally, I’ve wanted you since I first walked in.” 

His hands go straight to her soft waist and his lips meet hers with an intense fervor. Breathless moans are smothered against his lips and her fingers tangle in his hair. “Wha-what about the food?” 

Joe grips her ass, his lips pull off of hers, and they begin to suck purple bruises on her neck and behind her ear. “You always say it tastes better after it's reheated anyway.” 

He pecks her lips and smiles at his handy work: her lips swollen and red, eyes burning with a dark desire, neck glistening with a shiny magenta hue and knees trembling from the pressure. “You’re so beautiful.”

Her face heats up as she takes in the sight of her lover with a matching set of glossy lips. “I love you.”

“I love you more than anything, and I’m about to show you exactly how much.” He smirks then throws her over his shoulder and takes off towards the bedroom. 

“Joey!”

₊˚ପ ⊹ ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ꕥ

a/n: part two this weekend♡

<<< Ch. 23: Tour Countdown | Part Two >>>

[jackasswhre]

Dating Bam Margera headcanons :)

let me just start this off by saying bam's the most loyal man to exist alright

like ain't no way that he's ever cheating on you

also a hill that i will die on is that you're the passenger princess

literally no matter what

late night drives with him blasting music

spoils you on your birthday, valentines day, christmas ect

he's totally the "i don't want to go to bed fighting type"

carving pumpkins as a date during halloween

speaking of halloween i feel like he would love scaring kids that are out trick or treating

never goes overboard with pranking you (and will get a bit pissed off if any of the other guys do)

extra cuddly if he's drunk

doesn't notice it and will 100% deny it but he squeezes your hand a bit tighter when he's nervous

loves seeing you in his clothes

covers the corners of tables if you're bending underneath them so you don't get hurt

can and will bodyslam you into anything soft whenever he feels like it

puts his hand in the back pocket of your jeans

if you ask nicely he'll turn his loud ass music down

disinfecting his brand (and any of his other wounds/cuts) because you know he won't do it himself

taking care of him when he's sick (and him being a pouty whiny bitch most of the time)

he gets jealous really easily

if needed he gets into bar fights for you (even if he's usually drunk himself)

if you're in jackass too (im guessing you are 'cause come on who wouldn't want to be) he writes crazy ass stunts for you

always makes sure that you don't get hurt during them tho

and if you ever did get hurt while doing a stunt he would be by your side the second it happens

if you don't know how to skate he 100% teaches you

and if you already know then he literally skates with you every chance he gets

you're definitely in viva la bam and also in most radio bam episodes

if you want to he will let you do his nails and makeup

definitely loves cuddling

ryan, dico, raab and rake are your bestfriends

they just come with bam (kinda like a buy one, get one free except its buy one, get four free (idfk lmao))

bro would literally melt if you baked him something

if you're ever wearing a short/tight skirt he stands behind you

rarely takes you out for expensive dates, it's usually just mcdonalds or something similar

this man loves you with his whole heart so please don't hurt him

[sibylsleaves]

This isn't a Buddie established relationship ask so feel free to ignore this but I'm curious...what do you see Buck and Tommy eventually breaking up over? Or what would you want them to break up over?

anon do you want to get me killed

no, i'm totally kidding, this is an interesting question! and im sure everyone is going to be completely normal about me answering it right guys

(under a cut for length)

I think if I'm being super honest, my #1 choice would be Eddie. Both for Buddie reasons and for established narrative reasons--Eddie has been haunting the narrative of BuckTommy, so to speak, since the beginning and it makes a lot of sense to me that it would come back around to him in the end. In 7x04, Tommy says it was "never his intention" to come between Eddie and Buck. He also says Buck "isn't the only one" who can get jealous. In 7x05, Eddie says "this doesn't change a thing between us." Maddie in 7x05 also says that line about "if there's something you need to tell Eddie, you will in your own time."

Right now these are just lines that mean what they mean at face value BUT they are also ripe with potential to be foreshadowing for an eventual break-up/Buddie feelings realization arc. I do think the Bi Buck arc/Tommy arc in general is an excellent catalyst for Buddie feelings realization because. well. it DOES change the equation in a fundamental way. And it's like. slow burn romance 101 to have one character pining over the other while they're in a relationship, so. the stage has been set.

But what form that takes exactly, idk. If I'm the one in charge, I think I'd want Eddie feelings realization -> pining while Buck is with Tommy -> separate Buck feelings realization -> break up with Tommy -> mutual pining for a while -> eventual Buck confession -> they get together. With like some more messy fun things thrown into the mix idk.

I'm less enthused but still intrigued by a Tommy realizes BEFORE Buck arc leading to a break up. I think it makes sense as an echo of Buck's bi realization--Tommy was the catalyst there and it wasn't until he kissed Buck that Buck came to terms with his feeling so I do like the narrative parallels there.

But from a character perspective I think I just really want Buck to get there on his own because one of his prevailing character flaws is that he just kinda...does not know what he's doing or what's happening in his brain ever. He says to Connor and Kameron in season 6 that he "doesn't know what he wants." and in 7x05 he says to Tommy he "doesn't know what he's ready for." And Maddie says in 7x05 that Buck "isn't sure of his own feelings yet." So. I'd like to see a growth where he IS sure of his feelings, where he DOES know what he wants and what he's ready for, and is able to take the initiative and be the one to break things off with Tommy (learning from his mistakes with Taylor/Lucy).

If it's not Eddie (or perhaps Eddie is just PART of the equation) then I think it could go a couple different routes. Route 1 would be a fundamental incompatibility, something like...idk. Tommy not really taking Buck seriously as a partner. This would kind of harken back to their first date (and also to Buck's relationship with Abby) and Tommy cutting out because he thinks Buck "isn't ready."

Or maybe they break up because they don't want the same things in life. I've said it before with other Buck relationships on the show but I would actually love to see an amicable break up because Buck wants kids and his partner doesn't. As Buck gets older, I REALLY would love for the show to really delve into his desire for family/kids, and this particular storyline I don't think I've ever seen portrayed. And it's a very normal reason for a couple to break up!

Or maybe Tommy has to move away for a Cool Helicopter Job and Buck contemplates moving with him. Maybe he even decides he will. But then something Happens and at the last minute he realizes he can't leave his family and that his home is in LA and he has to let Tommy go. This would give me a lot of found family feelings so 🥺

Or maybe they end up together and there's no break up arc. Anything could happen tbh.

[derekgoffard]

Colin's older sister is a very small part of his background, however Ive had some characterization down for a while now so I thought I'd make a little post about her 🤲.

Her name is Claire Midland! She has virtually no relationship with Colin and probably does not ever wish to see him again yayyay 👐. She also has those mother issues that make you a bit mean and desperate for comfort all the time but that's okay 👍.

Some extra trivia under the cut 🕊️

( THESE ARE ALL WRITTEN VERY MESSY + INCOHERENT. IM SORRY IF U ATCUALLY TRY READING THIS 😭😭😭😭😭 )

- she went into nursing because she wanted to give others the kind of care and attention she herself craved - however she eventually realized that was not at all the reality of nursing. She kind of hates her job 👹.

- her life revolves around this funny little cycle of her feeling this constant sense that she is unloved, which leads her to constantly be seeking comfort ( physical and emotional ). However she never feels comforted for long, hence the cycle continuessss la la la🤸.

- her favorite thing ever is being coddled, she's a hard worker but she wishes she wasn't.

- She loves flowersss, but she can never keep them alive. Despite this she continues to buy them, only to have them die in days. Her favorite flowers are sun flowers 😊.

- her necklace has her and her mother's birthstones ( emerald and topaz ).

- she's never held a steady relationship for over a year but she has alot of positive one night stands. Not necessarily sex either - usually she just wants to be cuddled and coddled over for a night, y'know how it is ☹️..... Let me tell you what tho her aftercare game is unbeatable LOLLLLLLLL.

- she was a very clingy and emotionally demanding child. ( example; Claire would absolutely NOT enter school without her mother, and so her mom had to sit next to her desk in school for most of her early education ). This was okay for a little while, but when Colin was born, their parents got a divorce, and their already mentally ill mother could not really cope with two children.

- Since Claire was the oldest ( still very very little, like 7 years old )- it fell on her to help her mother, while Colin would bounce between their father and mother. Claire has never had a relationship with Colin, but she secretly blames and resents him for their parents divorce, and their mothers declining mental health. While ofc Colin resents her for basically gatekeeping his own mom LOL.

- Her relationship with her mother is surface level and distant. No matter how hard she may want to- she just can't connect to her mother. Claire is too emotionally taxing and her mother is pretty much unwilling to deal with it at this point. Claire reminds her of the lowest times in her life, and she sees Claire's attachment to her as a failure in how she raised her. She thinks Claire needs to grow out of it by herself. I think her mother does feel guilty about how Claire's childhood turned out- and so she really does think trying to let Claire find her own way is what's best for her.

- oh and also Claire is pretty much the reason Colin received so little attention from her as a child LOL- she would get HIDEOUSLY jealous of baby Colin taking attention from her mother and throw really intense fits about it 👤 I'm thinking she even went as far as trying to hurt Colin in some way. Sorry Colin, no healthy relationship with mom for you. your sister is too emotionally demanding.

- I think she's doing okay now. She's a little unhinged but I'm thinking she has a steady job and nice girlfriend now. I kinda want her to be happy y'know. 🕊️

- unrelated but Claire has not seen Colin since they were young teenagers so she has no idea about his dyed hair or fashion sense. I don't think she'd be able to recognize him to be honest LOL.

[foreverrandomwritings]

Season 2 Episode 3: Hold the Line.

THIS IS MY FAVORITE EPISODE BETWEEN BOTH SHOWS!! BUCK, HEN, EDDIE IM SCREAMING, IM CRYING, IM THROWING UP!

Buck being asleep and drooling on the window. 10/10

Buck then staring at Marjan, because he recognizes her not because he’s a creep. Hen and Eddie telling him to stop. TK telling Marjan he’s staring and her looking at him.

Hen:Buck, seriously. Don’t make me report you to HR🙄

Buck is so jealous of Eddie and Hen😂😂😂

Buck: THATS FIREFOX OMG.😱

Hen and Eddie:🤨🤨

Eddie and Judd bonding over being from Texas🤗🥰

Eddie: Oh no a female Buck👁️👄👁️

Mateo: LA huh?

Buck: Yes

Mateo: I have a cousin Marvin there, we look alike maybe you know him.

Buck: LA is big don’t know him. (But Athena does lol, I love the way they explained this though. Also really want an episode where Marvin and Buck cross paths.)

Buck, TK and Mateo all bullshitting.

Buck: My dick is bigger than yours.

TK: No mine is bigger than yours.

Mateo: I’m just happy to be here.

Eddie follows Marjan.

Mark and two feet away: Really dude? Oh a kid.

Eddie: Doing the whole single dad thing.

Uhm I’m sorry, Buck is Christopher’s other dad so go fuck yourself.

Judd when any animal that isn’t a bull is involved:😬😬

Paul: Keep him talking.

Judd punches said kid in the face. 😵‍💫🥊

Mateo bringing superhero’s into like any conversation he can is adorable and I love him.

Random guy: No one else is risking their lives tonight.

Buck, Eddie, TK, Marjan, Judd, Paul and Mateo: LOL.

Owen hallucinating: 😳

Hen: 🤨

Buck: My captain is not my dad but he is. Let’s go steal a fire truck.

TK: Absofuckinglutely 🫡

Hen: Captain Strand, I think you’re kinda crazy.

Owen: Yes.

TK: We shouldn’t both get fired for this.

Buck: Well my friend is there too and I’m pretty sure she’d do the same for me.

Buck: pauses and contemplates.

Buck: No she totally would???

Buck: I cannot bring back my fire engine all fucked. My dad not dad would kill me.

Buck and TK thinking they are gonna be on their own.

Marjan, Mateo, Judd, Paul and Eddie: You two dumbasses we’re going with you.

Judd and Eddie: GO TEXAS

Eddie: Hey Marjan let’s get a pic together to make Buck jealous. Also please follow Buck on insta.

Mateo: Please look out for my cousin Marvin.

Buck: Lol I will.

Buck unaware of his LGBTQ status: We should grab dinner if you are ever in LA.

TK with his gaydar on: Just so you know I have a boyfriend.

Buck: Wtf do you mean?😅

Hen: What happens in the mineshaft stays in the mineshaft.

Owen: 🫡

[admirxation]

˗ˏˋ admirxation's weekly fic recs ´ˎ˗

!! dark content ahead, material in this post is intended for 18+ viewers, please read the warnings the authors have provided, and continue at your own discretion !!

(2nd week) 12th May '24: after the first post of my weekly recommendations, it's safe to say that I will continue these for my own bookmarks and give some more authors love. I just wanted to make some notes that I will be a / before the username since I will have repeats of certain authors, and I don't want to bombard or bother them with a Sunday tag; my aim is to show love and appreciation, not flood someone's inbox with tags haha & plus there is a link to their work so u already know the author. ALSO feel free to comment down some more recommendations so I and other people can look at other fics, thank you. // p.s this is a shorter week, i’ve had to study for exams and i’ve been a bit obsessed with AI bots lmao <3

Resident Evil Recommendations

Denim [NSFW] {re4r!leon kennedy x fem!reader} ~ the reader's boyfriend comes home from an assignment still wearing his gear with a pair of jeans that were given to him by the reader; the sight drives the reader wild.

this was written by @/gigabyte-flare // omg how much I've missed their writings, I love their account sm and gotta say I am a big fangirl of their writing. this is a quick oneshot if anyone’s looking for a quick fix and ugh it hit the right spot. i’m sorry but leon in jeans YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM. i really love the domestic kinda vibes to fics like the established relationship and couple sex, i literally melt whenever i read them, especially when u have such an amazing writer like pixel setting the scene.

never penelope, always calypso [NSFW] {leon kennedy x reader} ~ Leon is married to Ashley and they have an open relationship which the reader gets involved with

this was written by @/miss-oranje-disco-dancer // first of all, the odyssey reference ATE, this was my favourite book in my first year of my degree, it was the book that kept me going in my degree after i was about to quit so whenever i hear anything about it i just eat it up. i love the progression of this narrative, the way it all starts as just casual, and loved the bit where the reader doesn’t want to be involved with cheating so she makes sure, such a small detail but i loved it. and honestly i could feel the way the readers heart ache as the story continued, even though ashley as a wife is distant within this fic the idea of her and what leon has with her is so well written, that dynamic of the wife and the yearned was excellent. i love this writer like, im beyond jealous of their writing style i wish i was that talented.

Crave [NSFW] {Las Plagas!Leon Kennedy x fem!reader} ~ soft loving sex with las plagas leon

this was written by @/belovedcloud . y’all know i love me some las plagas leon and omfg the things this fic did to me, I AM S C R E A M I N G AHHHHH. i loved the way the writer introduced him coming back and how he needs the reader, the writing of him craving was very well down, and very hot, one of my fav las plagas fics

daddy’s girl [NSFW] Step-dad!Leon Kennedy x fem!reader} ~ readers birthday and her father doesn’t turn up but her step father is there.

this was written by @/barleyo // AHAIDOCJSSJSOXJ ughhhh the line “let daddy love you” made me bang my head on the walls while i jumped like a spider on them, I AM GOING FERAL FOR THIS. honestly i loved the dynamic of being shocked at him leaning in for a kiss, and the description of it being wrong but just having to indulge like ummmpppthhh this was so well written, im glad i found this blog.

Jujutsu Kaisen Recommendations

surprise [NSFW] {Toji Fushiguro x fem!reader and established relationship with satoru gojo x reader} ~ Satoru comes home early to surprise his wife, but ends up surprised in seeing who she is with.

this was written by @/lemonlover1110 // i’m a toji and gojo girlie so having them both in a fic is ahehehehe im foaming at the mouth. IT WAS SO FUCKING HOT. like i felt sorry for gojo but ugh he’s such a little pervert and i love it, and the toji’s cocky personality with calling it out was *chefs kiss*. brb gonna curl myself up in a corner and go F E R E L.

the sorcerer killer [NSFW] {Toji Fushiguro x fem!reader} ~ Toji is hired to kill a woman but he finds her so beautiful that he needs to have some fun with her first.

this was written by @/lemonlover110 // oh look more Toji fics, we're not surprised nor mad because Toji is a need omfg i love him. i loved this oneshot, and ugh the flirting when he first sees the reader, and omfg the ending literally has me on all fours barking for him, ahh this blog is one of my literal favourites, especially with the Toji fics. all Toji girls must go to this blog and give them some love hehe

12:34am [NSFW] {satoru gojo x fem!reader} ~ blindfold play

this was written by @/chuluoyi // ugh i this was so good, blindfold fics are so hot, i love the blindfolding play, and the way the author described the sensation was just so well written. another one of my fav jjk blogs, i have loads of their works already in my ‘to read’ which i am trying to read through.

[sugary-spider]

what's a funny event in your au that isn't rlly explainable but it's just there

..Not an event, but an thing/creature! (If you get this reference, ily /p)

Basically in damaged, wambus is still trying to grow bugsnax, to see how bugsnax are made. (Again, doesn't really 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 in his favor sadly just like in normal canon bugsnax)

But the thing is, wambus isn't the only one trying to figure this out. In fact, he made the most stupdiest bet with another grumpus named Scout Scatterwibble. Being the stubborn grumpus is, wambus was working day and night nonstop trying to..figure it out.

And surprisingly, he made good progress! But scot was jealous and envious, so he pour titans blood onto wambus's crops/progress making aubrey 2!

Aubrey two kinda just..Sprouted and is like..This werid thing..la creatura que llamé Aubrey 2

(Im not the best spanish speaker but I just thought it was funny..)

Oh and it has the deepest voice ever imagineable.

[devilsdenarchive]

ooooof i just have a bad thought about raphael, related with hope, and im a lil in shambles

(cw: bg3 spoilers, SA mention)

someone was saying that korrilla being jealous of her sister was super sad considering what raphael did to her. i kinda knew he kept trapt hope in the house of hope, we know a dramatic man, and I KNOW he is a villain and a fictional one, but even i have my limits

and then ive explore a little about hope and some people was comparing raphael to cazador and how hope story of abuse didnt have the recognition that astarion had and then i just collapsed

cause yeah, he is THE DEVIL and you can expect fucked up things from the hell, like torture and pain and that stuff.

the thing is korrilla transcripts some conversations between raphael and hope. they didnt went well. he wants to give her the world and she litterally tells him to eat shit. he throw her a "dreamcatcher" full of nightmares that she wears at her neck. korrilla tell us that he offered her the world but she rejected him until "eventually he took her by force, trapping her". those are textual words and thats the worst part: what does that mean?

best scenario? he kidnapped her, a la Phantom of the Opera style that Raphael IS ALWAYS SHOWING, and kept her captive until she loves her.

worst scenario? i cant even tell cause its one of my main triggers

someone have more info about this or comments about this theme?

[friendlyengie]

Heyo thought I’d drop some random tf2 hcs and stuff cause of ur post :D

- scout and Pyro get along really well and scout will draw for pyro. Scout likes them cause he seems to actually listen to scout talk

- Engineer is pretty oblivious when it comes to people having feelings for him and hes (kinda accidentally) decent at flirting tho

- Engineer is like a father figure to scout and it makes spy really jealous lol

- Demo is really good at karaoke

- Since spy is good at finding this out about people based on body language etc. he knows exactly who has crushes on who in the base and he thinks it’s SO OBVIOUS but it’s not to the rest of them and he’s really close to just screaming at everyone that they’re blind and to just kiss already. He’s just forced to watch all these pining idiots dance around each other and he hates it

- Heavy and Medic have a book club that is just the two of them

- Scout would be a good dad later in life if he had a kid

ohohhoho interesting. Cracks my knuckles.

-scout and pyro friendship truther until I DIE. I find the idea of scout going from being terrified of this weird “thing” to just being besties with Pyro kind of hilarious. I think they can both do art pretty well actually! I like to think they run around towns and do graffiti together.

-Nodding at this. I also think it helps that (to me) hes naturally very friendly and polite because of how he was raised and like half of the people on his team havent heard anything nice from another human being since they were actual children (if that.) Is he good at flirting or are your standards dangerously low? Is it both? Great question!

-Ive always seen engineer as more of a low-maintenance uncle figure to scout If That. They’re just kind of a pretty standard close older dude with a lot of life experience and younger dude with fuck all going on friendship to me. and tbh ive never. Really been able to get behind the idea of spy being “jealous” of any sort of relationship Scout has with other mercs. Whether it’s him being weirded out by father standins or judgemental of potential partners. I don’t think he doesn’t have a weird relationship with seeing scout bond with the other mercs but i feel like it’s just sort of. Idk. A little more of a unique issue for him.

-Accepted. Though i think “good” for him ranges from “genuinely good singing” to “loud, overconfident, and having a great time getting half of the lyrics wrong.”

-As much as I think it would be fun if spy was surprisingly emotionally dense, i cant deny his canonical skills in that sort of field. That’s like. His whole game. I think his approach to trying to help anyone with romance is “he wont unless youre prepared to basically just inflate his ego for the sake of a few tips.” A la expiration date.

-no doubt in my mind that heavy and medic dont agree with a single thing that the other gleams from reading books. Said with love. They will argue about meanings and subtext and the value of interpretation until it sounds like someone’s about to file for divorce and then end with “so same time next week ^_^?”

-I will be so honest with you. I do not know if i could ever see scout being a father, much less a good one NDGSKHJDKNJJ.

Actually . Hm. Thinking about it. I could. SEE it in a sense. I think he would have some good steps to go off of because of his Mom. Unsure of how good his ma’s parenting was but she at least was very caring toward her kids. He’d have that. But i think he’d have to be a lot more emotionally mature to be able to process how his own current issues with dads and fatherhood would healthily translate into being a dad himself. I could see him being really laid back and maybe a little too “im not just your parent, im your friend,” and any hypothetical kid he has would Not take his ass seriously. I think having to parent a teenager would kill him.

[chronicallyonline101]

hi!!!! this is the anon that sent in the Melone ask (if you recieved it), i was rereading Dumb Killers nd i have a few questions!!! if thats okay!!!

what inspired you to write it??? like its such a heavy fic, the chapters are SO long and we're 10 chpts in now without even half the cast introduced so i can imagine its got a long while to go !! how r u managing this??? are you okay mentally???

second of all, is it gonna follow canon? or have you got your own plot made up??

im excited for the next chapter !!! i cant wait to find out what happens with the team, and how Pesci will eventually join! that scene with (who i think was) Prosciutto's dad had me gasping lol

HI. I SQUEALED WHEN I READ THIS !!! ik u! I call you melone-anon to my friends cuz im currently writing ur request and its one of my favs 🤭🤭 it'll be out soon!! sozzies its taking so long ive got a few projects im working on atm so im a bit slow on everything !!

OKAY. SO. THIS IS GONNA BE WEIRD but the reason i wanted to write Dumb Killers is because i read this fic in like... January? I want to say? It was a La Squadra x reader and it was PERFECT. for some time... it was over 100k words, had a LOT of kudos and seemed pretty good but the thing was that it started out AMAZING and then like, after a few chapters turned into sensless smut... like, i LOVE smut but the plot of the fic stopped progressing because literally EVERY. OTHER. CHAPTER. the characters were getting freaky and i got bored and it pissed me off so bad i decided right then and there i needed to write my own fic!

i actually have imaginary beef with that author now cuz their fic has around 700 kudos and i wanna beat them BUT ANYWAYS. ENOUGH OF ME BEING JEALOUS OVER OTHER AUTHORS.

i feel a bit bad that the chapters are so long but i literally have no control over it 😭 i just start writing and by the time im done 20k lines the page... i looked on the ao3 subreddit to see if it was normal and was pleased to learn that on average most authors do around 10-15k SO IM NOT WEIRD.

ALSO. its only long rn cuz its the introduction! Pesci will be introduced by chpt 12, and after that things start speeding up! prommies!

it will kinda follow canon??? i have my own plot in mind, and that plot will slowly bleed into canon! but its not gonna follow canon exactly, the events of GW are gonna unfold from La Squadra's POV up until Ghiaccio's fight, and then its gonna get a bit quirky (: BUT I CANT SPOIL. SO. TAKE WITH THAT WHAT YOU WILL!!!!

im so glad your enjoying!!! seeing comments like these makes me giggle nd kick my legs 🤧🤧 and yes! It was Prosciutto's dad! well done! 😚😚 im giving you a big kiss! i hope you like the next chapter! it should be out soon!!!!

[star-girl69]

Love Song

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader

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a/n: just needed to do some general hc’s to get all my thoughts in order i hope you all enjoy!!

Love song - Lana Del Rey

warnings: the formatting is weird idk why i can’t fix it but y’all will live, swearing, a little itty bitty bit of violence, every facet of clarisse finding its way here and i love them all, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

i’m sure we all agree on this

but clarisse is very protective of you

even if you’re a very capable fighter, even if you’re even better than her, clarisse is still so protective of you

i mentioned this in one of my fics (maybe so it goes…????) but like the reason behind this is the fact that clarisse is just SCARED

she is terrified of losing you bc you are the only one she feels like she can be herself with

like clarisse is insane!!!!! in a good way!!!!! but also she’s a 17 year old girl…. she wants TO BE LOVED

she tries to talk to you about how she feels about her dad and about everything else in her life, but even though she doesn’t want to be, she’s locked up like a vault

she knows her emotions are always super intense and she has big reactions

major anger issues but they’ve gotten better with age

the problem is she spent her entire life being told that she needed to calm down, that she couldn’t feel like that all the time, and she just tried to shut down

obviously that did not work

but it still makes it virtually impossible to talk about her feelings

when it comes to you tho she’s an open book

she’s a daughter of ares she’s headstrong she’s proud and her fatal flaw is PRIDE

i mentioned this before but she wants everyone to know that you’re hers and she’s yours

your relationship is partly very public

she’s not afraid to touch you or kiss you

she’s not afraid to show you off and (needs to) show everyone that yes your beautiful self belongs to HER

so naturally she gets very jealous

even when you’re like clarisse you are INSANE

there’s been a few times when you first started dating and you were still getting comfortable and weren’t that public yet so like someone would flirt with you

it went like this

boy: hey what’s up you’re kinda fine

y/n: oh! oh yeah no….. no…..

clarisse: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU—

then she started attacking him

lost dessert privileges for a month, she proudly declared that it was worth it (besides you would sneak her bites of yours like)

now that everyone knows you’re hers her jealousy is rooted a lot more in delusion and insecurity

you’ll be like in a group talking someone and she’ll pull you closer and be like “i think that guys staring at you a little too much.”

“clarisse no the fuck he’s not what”

b/c of the fact that she isn’t a son for her father she gets insanely jealous if specifically a MAN gets even an inch too close however innocently

she doesn’t want to think it but she thinks you’ll eventually realize her father is right and she’s not as useful or good bc she’s a girl

most of the time when she gets jealous bc of her insecurities she just becomes extra clingy

but also any emotion she feels she gets extra clingy to you so sometimes it’s hard to tell LMAO

she isn’t really a big hand holder but that’s only because she’s actually holding you CLOSER to her by your waist

also one more note about your relationship publically

everyone gets whiplash bc like she’s a BULLY fo everyone else and then you walk over and she’s all heart eyes

i hate everyone but you trope save me

save me i hate everyone but you trope

THIS HAPPENED IN IN A GOOD WAY

clarisse: pushes percy over

you: nuh uh clarissseeeeeeee

clarisse: omg hi beautiful gf

you: touches her shoulder, looks at her disapprovingly

clarisse: fine i’ll go, *scares percy*, bye bye beautiful ily

like she’s just being a bitch and then all of a sudden you come around and she’s like hiiiiiii babyyyyy how is my gorgeous gorgeous girl today??

so outwardly clarisse is just very proud and touchy

privately she lets herself be a little more chill

this is where she really touchy you thought before was worse nah

idk if y’all have noticed but in my fics clar’s always holding on y/n’s hips and that’s just me self projecting bc i have the most horrid hip dips but my point still stands

SHE LOVES YOUR HIPS

would totally call them “love handles” IM SORRYY

but she just likes having a place to hold where she can just like kinda actually physically grab you with her hands

like yeah she can wrap her arms around your waist but she likes to GRAB you

cuddling w her is fun bc like this girl cannot get ENOUGH of you there’s only like three ways you cuddle

you on top of her whether just like completely on top of her (one of her favs) or just with your head on her chest

this is what happens whenever you feel scared

like there was a monster attack just near the barrier and you’ve all been feeling uneasy all day

TRUST you are sleeping in her bed tonight

wraps her arms around you so tight it’s like she’s crushing you

also she’s running your back or caressing your head whichever you prefer

she keeps her spear right next to her bed and makes sure you can see it so you know however subconsciously NOTHING can hurt you bc she’s right there (nothings gonna hurt you baby vibes)

or she’s on top of you this one usually happens when she’s feeling a little extra insecure and jealous and it’s like no one can see you if she’s on top of her so then you’re hers

she isn’t the smartest one in the bunch but she has good intentions!!!!

also she lays on top of you if you get hurt

like after so it goes for example when y/n got that little cut on her hand

you’re like “clar pls you’re crushing me”

“um ok you scared the shit out of me today tho you need to LET ME do this fuck”

third option

you’re both laying on your side and facing each other legs tangled together and she’s probably whispering to you

she’s a big whisperer i feel it in my heart

like tracing her hands on your face and saying your so beautiful or telling you how you make her feel

oh lord take me now

also she loves you the way hozier loves

“someone asked me in the end i’d tell them ‘put me back in it’ // darlin’ i would do it again // if i could hold for a minute”

“when my time comes around lay me gently in the cold dark earth no grave could hold my body down i’d crawl back to her”

like she BREATHES for you

if she died and then you were like “i miss you” trust she would find a way to come back to life

totally daydreams about going on such a fantastical quest that the gods offer both of you immortality so you can be together forever and ever and ever and ever and ever

like if the world ends y’all would still be there having a little picnic date

devotion is the only word that comes close

anyways

ok nicknames she calls you:

baby, angel, gorgeous, pretty thing/girl, beautiful, lovely, dummy (lovingly)

(recently saw a few posts abt clarisse saying mama/mamas i may be swayed)

dates she takes you on:

forces you to train w her even if you don’t like it but she lets you win OBVIIIII, under the stars in the woods, take your dinners to go and sneak back to either hers or your cabin to eat together, secret makeout sessions in the bathroom her cabin your cabin anywhere she can get her hands on you

this is so random but i get horrible migraines and i am ADDICTED to these like headache relief frequency sounds on youtube i swear they work and i was like omg you can’t have electronics at chb I WOULD NOT SURVIVE

so if you are a real one like me and get horrible migraines but this goes for being sick in general she’s like a little puppy pretending to be a wolf barely holding it together

she’ll be like at the foot of your bed begging you not to go into the light while shouting at someone at the same time to refill your water

you like have a cold

she would rub your temples if you had a headache and she would literally be like a doll for you to move around like oh you wanna lay on her chest? by all means

you wanna lay upside down with your feet in her face? as long as you get better you can do whatever you want!

you don’t wanna touch her at all? that’s where she draws the line

you’ll be like “ugh i’m hot get away from me”

“okay ☹️☹️”

“why are you touching my feet with your feet”

she places you above everyone else

like yeah other people are ok…….

but you 😍😍😍😍😍😍

this is slightly cringe but she would fr burn the whole world down and not let a flame touch you

LIKE HAVE YALL SEEN THE ANONS IVE BEEN POSTING AND THE CAPTURE THE FLAG THINGS 😱😱😱😱 (y’all always check my blog im always posting the funniest shit bc i’m funny)

“you’re one opposite teams blah blah blah you get hurt clarisse drops EVERYTHING to help you even if just a paper cut” (i have no chill fic coming soon)

THEN THEN the other one that was like “ok but what if you ACTUALLY get hurt like broken leg”

clarisse just goes crazy when you’re hurt

in so it goes: “what if that cut gets infected?”

you’re her WORLD she literally can’t stand the thought or something happening to you or else she starts literally shaking in anger and sadness

but when clarisse gets hurt it’s a whole other story

LIKE FUCK YOU JUST WANNA CARE ABOUT HER AND SHES ALL LIKE “it’s chill.”

NO ITS NOT YOURE GONNA BLEED OUT 😭😭

clarisse never let’s anyone but you see her true emotions

like yeah when you’re in public and you’re being cutesy she starts smiling and everyone is SO confused

but still

she never lets anyone see her as WEAK

so she always downplays her injuries in terms of how much they hurt, but flaunts them off proudly at the same time?? yeah that makes sense

after a capture the flag game you march her to the bathroom with a first aid kit “ok baby take off your shirt”

she always makes some flirty comment like SHUSH NOT RN

then she has all these bruises and every once in a while a cut from someone’s sword

you’re like 😔😔💔

you’re the only one she will let clean her up

unless she like breaks a bone or needs stitches (which has never happened) no way in hell she’s going to the healers

if you’re a child of apollo or smth she’s like “i literally have my own person healer right here…..”

anyways i think that’s all but i will probably be updating this when i think of more stuff bc as we know i have no chill

thank you all sm for reading and reblogging and liking and commenting and sending all of your WONDERFUL asks they make me so happy i’m always giggling when i get one

anyways bye bye 😘

—

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme

[daenystheedreamer]

i‘d love to hear some more of your throbb thoughts this can be as serious or unserious as you‘d like you can cast them modern au keeping up with the baratheons if u want. i personally like them because the shipname is funny it’s not the biggest reason but enough to be significant

KISSES youre so right the ship name is so stupid i love it. like its so embarrassing and i hate even writing it out but it is so funny. ok in my current modern au conception, the greyjoys are the mafia because that’s really funny to me. sometimes i imagine them with italian american accents. anyway they end up getting put away for tax evasion and Catelyn the Lawyer agrees to take in balon’s weird girlson theon and basically signs her death warrant doing that because her life will NEVER be the same.

if i were to have them as celebs à la barannisterdashians. hm. one funny idea is the starks are one of those 20 kids and counting shows and even though theyve only got 7 (5 biological, 1 adopted, 1 foster) theon counts as like 10 kids because he’s so chaotic.

ok now funny throbb compilation

theon finally gets prescribed adderall but he immediately starts selling it and its only found out because theon actually starts paying for dates and robb is like 🤨 something is off why aren’t you freeloading....

theon will kiss girls to make robb jealous but usually robb just pretends to be and then buys the girls chocolates after with a card like Sorry My Boyfriend Is Insane Its Not His Fault

robb has a pregnancy scare when hes like 17 and during the fortnight where its up in the air hes soooo worried about telling theon and he finally cracks and theon’s like yeah cool so long as i dont have to touch the fucking gremlin. and robb’s kinda miffed that theon isn’t being weird and jealous and theon’s like ??? who cares we were on an off-week and im your rock wife. and robb is all like what. what the fuck.

[reveliii]

all my friends experiencing some form of partner neglect by their rp partners/partners in general has been so eye opening. i like peep my friends who are living la vida loca because they love each other sauuur much and are having saur much fun w their stuff and i just kinda realize .

yeah.

thats it, isnt it.

and my friends come to me like “i shouldnt feel jealous but i feel so sidelined” and i have to sit them down and tell them hey look. its okay. youll get through this like im talking someone out of a bad relationship. its so jarring each time how heartbroken they get

[hellbubu]

Ugh, its awful. I need to mask SO hard whenever I'm home. I explained to mom about my social battery and now she uses that expression alllll the timeee....but she doesn't seem to realize I'm including *her* too, in the 'people that tire me out' category ¬¬ She gets mad I go to bed late, but it's the only time of peace and quiet where i can do stuff without noise and interruptions from others! Usually when im alone im a depressed useless lump half of the day, but the need to mask with a smile and answer and interact and be *cute* is just so engraved in me i do it automatically and it never ends *cries* Sorry for the rant lol (also, im too tired to write correctly so sorry for that)

Derrick forcing the others to play bad and Red house losing AND redmond not noticing would be hilariousssss

Oh, man, imagine a teen movie with this plot xDDD I'd watch the hell outta that!

Ikr!! Like, WHO kills someone to supossedly 'solve a problem' and immediately goes 'and bringing them back will solve everything! Like, why ?? If getting rid of him was the solution, why bring him/them back...??? Ugh, teenage boys. La edad del pavo, indeed.

Gaaahhh, imagine Druitt being a friend of the LM. *shivers* I mean, it makes sense? All these pervs seem to run in the same circles...(although LM has the 'easiest' option of taking what he wants from helpless children 24/7 9 months of the year, and the security of them not being brave enough to tell anyone or being able to scape. Imagine the nightmare of having caught the eye of that creep, blergh.)

Fr, fr, we se Seb, LM, UT and....one more teacher? For such a 'prestigious' institution, the education sure seems lacking (this is why they send the royal brats off to Eton lmao)

Right, right???? They should have totally manage to escape! And we weren't shown any more violence or blood or ANYTHING. So what. happened. (Also, I imagined Violet with the knifes cause there's no way he'd be able to take on two guys lol. Poisoned darts would work as well, Dementia!)

asjdhakjafhsdkjfshd, I've seen all kind of theories! Still, all I know is that UT is obssessed with Phantomhives but somehow doesn't care about killing Ciel OR about who slaughtered them. (Alsoooooo....if UT was able to save r!ciel's body before seb burned the body...does this mean he was there??? inside the house where they were torturing the boys??? for how long????? why didnt he save them????)

Poor Joanne. Truly, a hellish year. *tu-tush!* Also, he was probably so relieved about the canoe incident since people would talk more about that than him...only to end up pissing himself in front of the others. ALSO! Was he even made prefect?? Like, i saw a post about him being too young and being passed over, which would MAJORLY suck, since the other prefects are the only people he can talk about that night with. But the blurry red house prefect we see is blonde so idk. (I bet you he joined the boyband purely out of pettiness to fuck the P4 over. Im sure the others -except Soma, poor clueless baby- joined for the same reasons lol)

Awww, that's so cute! And a totally worthy endeveour for a 2nd son to invest in! FU r!ciel (i wanna like you, bb, but the fandom hasnt given me much hopes about you and i still have to read the manga)

SPEAKING of that. Yana went on hiatus!!!! I'm in despair.

Victoria being mad jealous of Claudia over UT would be hilarious. Basic in a 'powerful-women-can-only-be-enemies' kinda way; but hialrious.

I DO feel that if she did order it would have made more sense to 'save' the twins (or at least one) and earn their devotion? Give them a false enemy to burn and keep using them as her loyal dogs. But if she gave the order to erradicate the family completely someone fucked up MAJORLY. I bet heads rolled xD

A shift in power would make sense...but how? An Earl is a looong way from the crown (and with her many children and even grandkids!?). Maybe she started something supernatural over Albert's death? And Vincent found out? Questions, questions.

Beso <3

Constant social interactions are the worst especially when you can't be yourself. Having to act like you're someone else is tiring and you should really get some rest. Like not just sleep or be alone for a bit, but take some days to actually properly recharge, if possible.

He wouldn't force them to play badly during the tournament, only during practice... or at least I hope so. The Red House getting beaten by the Blue House because of Derrick does sound fun tho.

I think that the previous P4 took all the brain cells when they left. Otherwise, why would they 1. think that killing a bunch of boys was a good solution and 2. think that bringing the boys that they killed back to life was a good idea?

Druitt and the LM are both pedos, but I think Druitt would think he's better than LM because he (Druitt) has a title, is a doctor, and gets away with buying and selling kids. LM has to watch in the shadows as boys are beaten, while Druitt goes and kidnaps kids to sell. Druitt thinks LM is in a league waaaayy lower than him. He doesn't seem to even realize LM can do as much as he does (well, maybe not the selling part) and not even be found out. He (LM) brings it up once but Druitt is too busy salivating over a boy (Ciel in a cheap wig and different clothes) to pay attention.

I like to think that the bullies have never been held at knifepoint, so when Violet pulls out one, singular, butter knife they freak out and think Violet will manage to kill them. Meanwhile, Violet is just stabbing air and swinging his knife around while praying that they'll back off so Greenhill can kill them.

Maybe he got there just after Sebastian was summoned or something. He thought "holy shit, if he (Sebastian) knows I'm here, he might just eat the other twin. I need to keep quiet so I can still the other's body. I'll bring him back to life so they can play happy family later."

I think I might like R!Ciel if I read the manga. Alas, I can't. But O!Ciel would always be my fave twin. He's always been so kind. <3

I heard she's working on the ending. I do think it might take a few years for it to end tho. I feel like there's still too many questions for it to end soon. I'm not a manga reader, but even I know that there's still quite a bit left until they start to unravel the Phantomhive murders. Like, the current arc might lead to the final one, but from what I understand SebaCiel have yet to meet UT&R!Ciel again and are on their honeymoon... so quite a while still

Maybe Claudia fucked her over and Vincent was about to too, so she'd rather just get rid of them all. We know she doesn't trust O!Ciel because she had the Charles follow him during the Circus Arc. So it might not be too far-fetched to think that many of the previous Guard Dogs have turned against the crown at one point or another and she might've wanted to start over with a cleaner slate.

I mean, maybe Vincent just saw something he really didn't like and was willing to fuck England over. Let drugs freely on the streets and sell secrets regarding England. But I could be wrong. He does have this dude called Chlaus as an informant and this guy travels a lot. So, if Vincent were to try to fuck shit up and then make a run for it with the help of Chlaus but the Queen finds out...

Besitos :* :*