#Im gonna try to come back to posting regularly
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This is a question related to the mtt hobbies answer that you wrote, the murder trio go around the multiverse and live in a place together, then what happend to horrortale au and horrortale papyrus? If the murder trio got to meet horrortale papyrus how would it go? (The meeting propably wouldnt end well with more canon mtt haha)
aaaaa i dont think it through to be honest when i talk about that concept. they just do. maybe horrortale's issues are already solved and aliza's already gone through horrortale and somehow fixed the hellhole (ALIZA MY GOAT PLEASE SAVE HORRORTALE I DON'T CARE IF IT TAKES 10 YEARS‼️‼️‼️) by the time that horror somehow meets dust and killer (since i dont see a feasible way that horrortale could be fixed outside of aliza or outside intervention.) or maybe he just visits from time to time. and by time to time i mean probably quarterly weekly. idk sorry i cant be bothered to think about it,,, they just do. anyways bad answer i KNOW I KNOW put the tomatoes down pls PLS
if the mtt met horror paps? horror would obviously do his little bantering thing with paps (he's probably revealing every single one of horror's embarrassing moments to them as they speak and horror's desperately trying to get him to shut up because he can tell. dust and killer are piiiiiiissed.) dust is probably like eerily calm during the whole thing. he manages to hold up a conversation pretty well with horror paps and gets along with him good enough without mentioning that theres a ghost version of him screaming asking why dust is ignoring phantom paps. meanwhile killer is mostly silent during it too probably only responding when he's spoken too. i mean like killer already doesn't like being around papyruses (papyri? papyri is so shitty i dont like it we will be saying papyruses) and then seeing horror's papyrus??? what the FUCK happened to horror paps??? sunken in eyes and cracks in his bones and those jagged teeth AND THEN THE FUCKING CROOKED SPAGHETTI????
needless to say once horror paps is gone all of them get into a biiiiig fight. dust drops the cool act because he's not gonna lose his cool around a papyrus but also he's absolutely fuming. he can tell that the changes that phantom papyrus has gone through have something to do with horror with the way that he's acting. killer is also incredibly irritated too (surpringly. being around papyruses just gets him like that) and seeing papyrus like that just gets him upset and angry. like wtf horror did you even TRY with keeping your papyrus safe??? at least killer reset his au and now papyrus is living an unharmed life (with minor concerns about killer's whereabouts but he'll ignore that for now) but horror paps looks so fucked up that there is no WAY that horror tried to prevent him from getting to that point
obviously they fight and many many many many MANY words are said about eachother's characters and the state they left their respective papyruses in. horror knows damn well that horrortale paps's state is because of him but he regretted telling paps to eat humans and neither dust nor killer knew the struggle of living with that guilt and how much he regrets it so they dont get to drag him for not trying hard enough to keep papyrus safe. dust is definitely getting some low blows here and there (but he's getting fucking assisted by phantom paps so he's got some of the deepest hitting insults) and he's definitely getting ganged up on for killing his papyrus and like. not even attempting to leave him alive in someway shape and form aside from the absolute insult that is phantom paps. surprisingly killer is winning this fight because he left his papyrus in a relatively good state. even though he's in a more emotional state than he normally is and would've absolutely OBLITERATED dust and horror in the fight in stage 2 he's actually doing pretty well. probably because hororr and dust dont really have anything to drag him on. they might bring up how something new papyrus is searching for killer but like,,,, is that really that bad compared to how they left their papyruses
#time to die i almost forgot to answer this today#WHO AM I IF I LOSE MY STREAK!!!! MY ASK STREAK!!!!!!#time to call up tumblr to restore my streak if i miss a day#streaks! streaks! streaks! streaks! i say as i take several photos of me winking at a high angle#i dont even use snapchat. i do think streaks are a funny concept though#i'd KILL (hah) to have a streak with someone#the only person i ever message on snapchat regularly is my ai and thats only to belittle it#noooo dont do that says dust because then one day the robot will come alive and kill you#okay reset induced ptsd survivor lets get you back to bed#it'd be funny if he believed in dumb conspiracy stuff like that. and not dumb shit like flat earth#im not big on conspiracy theories but i think if he were fucked up enough or going through a manic episode he'd believe stuff like that#UGHHH did i mention how much i love manic dust. speaking of mania and dust#i made an eensy teensie little change in mania's design#the cyan in his eyelight is bigger now to emulate what a manic pupil looks like#heh.... its the smal detsild that matter.... i say as i dont incilde any details in my art#okay because i feel that all of this i incredibly wrong and ooc its time to justify my thoughts or else i'll feel unworthy of posting again#dust manages to keep his cool around papyruses pretty well (in win win scenario) even though he's got phantom paps with him#and he CAN do crazy switch ups like that just on a whim like when he suddenly killed flowey after teaming up with him in last chance#so i think its totally believable. dust can put up a NASTY facade of composure despite being furious underneath#and killer? you just be killer. how many times am i gonna make that joke you ask. not enough times because its funny every time#because he does get ansty and stuff around papyrus and apparently papyrus is his hardest enemy to face#must be because he feels something for him that bothers killer. like guilt or something#and if he feels guilty over what he did to papyrus then he must care and therefore care about papyrus's well being#and therefore that bleeds into horror paps and then that care turns into anger#crazy coming from killer saying that horrot doesn't care enough but i think its totally possible#i might be wrong though please shoot me if i am. i still need to resd up on my killer lore#ive been TRYING okay.... ive been trying been trying with killer. hopefully its enough....... (NO i say. who are you talking to)#tricule asks
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Gonna freak
#not plush related#only posting this here cause it vaugely relates to this blog#somehow my ex best friend found me here and sent me an ask#I blocked him not too long ago literally everywhere except here#cause I thought he didn't know about this blog#you'd think he'd take the hint that I want him to Stay Away by me blocking him on everything#but apparently he can't let me go that easy#for years I delt with his manipulating and toxic behavior#even took him back as a friend after he left me for 2 years because I started going out with my datemate (who he didn't like)#and yet he kept trying to control me. kept giving me his crap even when I told him I didn't want to deal with it#finally decided to completely cut ties for good and yet he still tries to talk to me#and comes here#this is my safe space....#I feel almost violated#also I just blocked him but Im on mobile so idk if it worked specifically for plushie-lovey#gonna have to check when I get on pc. but that runs the risk that he reads all this#on one hand idc if he does. but on the other I wish he'd just go away already. Im so done with this....#if anybody took the time to read this thanks#I promise I will avoid vent posts like this as much as possible on this blog#lets get back to our regularly scheduled enjoyment of plushies
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Oh, yes, I just love your unannounced sleepover where you both come back from the bar after carefully avoiding telling me that's where you were going, and also neglecting to tell me when you'd be home! I definitely do not want to knock you on your ass and take a bat to your dome! That would be rude and unnecessary :)
Oh yes, please do start talking about shit amongst yourselves and make me feel isolated and othered in ny own room! These moments are what I live for, of course. Naturally. Who would ever have any issues with this arrangement at all?
#txt#might delete this later but i also might not because my irritation and rage is real and i shouldnt have to so constantly discard it#i am so tired of constantly putting it aside#i want your blood in my fucking teeth. and it's your fault i want it there- certainly- because I TRY. I try so hard not to feel this way#but eventually you get tired of those little games too#okay I drafted this for a minute bc idk if this fucker is actually spending the night or not i just know he took off his belt. BUT THEN ONE#+ OF THESE FUCKERS DECIDED TO START TALKING ABOUT SPIDERS. A THING THAT I HAVE A VERY BAD PHOBIA ABOUT. I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU#thinking of killing and maiming and maiming and killing and killing and shredding and tearing and killing and-#seriously though what. the fuck. you even go ''oh they're not gonna like this'' THEN HOW ABOUT YOU DONT FUCKING SAY IT#ohh and now you're sitting here making plans for when you go out without me next! I'm going to make you a bloody smear on my fucking floor#i am going to Dissect you. I'm going to rip you apart and feed you to the local strays and csrrion birds.#not even getting up and leaving right fucking now would assuage me. i wish i wasn't so full of fucking hate but you just keep adding fuel +#+to the fire#im so tired. I'll come back with a ''im fine now'' if he fucking leaves but im going to seethe now. im so fucking angry.#how do you fucks continually just bounce between the topics that makes me feel Most Violent Towards You? literally how do you not realize i#+ want you dead at this point? how do you not realize the grave you've dug for yourselves in my mind?#i dont fucking mask it that well. i know i dont. and still you fucking do this#((part of why it being a bar specifically that bothers me besides the very deliberate and careful avoidance of mentioning it to me is that#+*one of you is at serious risk for becoming an alcoholic. why the fuck are you being enabled this way?*))#((if i was dating someone with a genetic predisposition of alcoholism i would make your regular dates nights- idk- NOT THE FUCKING BAR +#+ DISTRICT. DO YOU EVEN FUCKING CARE ABOUT THEM? DO YOU? This fucking boils my god damn blood.))#(ultimately its their decision if they want to fucking drink yeah sure whatever YOU DONT NEED TO REGULARLY AND READILY ENABLE IT. BASTARD.)#(If they want to drink so fucking bad- if they push for the bars- JUST BUY SOME ALCOHOL AND BRING IT FUCKING HERE. It limits how much they+#+can have for one- and it would isolate me from you two less! just as an added fucking bonus! but no very unreasonable of me. what was i +#+thinking? clearly not about them 🙄)#i might be a little out of line here. i can admit that. but if anyone spent a week in my fucking shoes back when they first got together +#+and then now? you would fucking understand.#and they just. keep. talking. to eachother. no attempts to include me. not even glances my way. like always.#''oh nothing will change'' IT FUCKING CHANGED. I want to hurt you so bsdly for that lie with ever passing day. do you even know it was a li#do you? anyway was abt to post this and noticed a gif i have of a woman ripping her shirt off so im going to stare at that until im calm ig.
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HI POOKUMS!!
COULD I REQUEST A JAKE X F READER SMUT?😽
BASICALLY IM THINKING READER AND JAKE HAVE HAD A PRANK WARS GOING ON FOR A WHILE, THE READER THEN ENDS UP PRANKING HIM WITH VIAGRA PILLS (OR ANY OTHER PILLS THAT JUST MAKE YOU CRAZY HORNY)
IMAGINE JAKE HAVING TO LIKE GO FILM OR GO OUT WITH YOU AND SOME FRIENDS LIKE JOHNNIE OR SOMETHING AND PRETEND LIKE HES NOT ROCK HARD, MORE TURNED ON THAN EVER 🙏
IM REALLY NOT PICKY SO YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOUD LIKE HOW ITS GONNA CONTINUE, BUT THE ONLY THING ID PREFER YOU EXCLUDE IS BREEDING KINK IF THATS OKAY🙏
I HOPE YOURE DOING OKAY POOKUMS!!🥰 TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, LOVE YOUR WRITING BTW!!
speed it down then slow it up
a/n:this might just be my favorite request yet tbh so sorry it took this long i’ve been busy lately but i’ll get back to posting regularly soon🙏
also title is from bubble pop electric ‼️
this prank war which jake had of course started had been going on for a eternity. at the moment,he had the upper hand therefore you just had to go all out.
the two of you had mentioned trying some aphrodisiacs a couple times but never fully went through with it. that was until today,when you, jake and johnnie had to record a video inside of a store.
you walked around recording the two boys occasionally passing the camera along to one of them as you waited for the viagra jake had taken to kick in.
you had worn a shirt that showed off a bit of your cleavage but not too much as well as your favorite bottoms
you had been talking to the camera while admiring the items around you until johnnie stopped recording, before practically scolding jake
“hey jake,i get that you may have a girlfriend but i’m trying to shoot a video here and i’d strongly appreciate it if you didn’t stare at her fucking tits the whole video” he says ending it with a sarcastic smile making you laugh
“hm?” he says looking up at you with a somewhat dazed look
you and johnnie let out a laugh at his reaction before eventually forgetting about it and going back to what you were doing
the video continued on as Jake tried his very best to conceal the large boner that has been forming in his pants over the past while, his hands glued to his pockets
he wondered as to why he could barely control himself but that thought went out the window as soon as you had dropped something and bent over to pick it up
he almost let out a small groan at the sight before he concealed it,remembering where he is
johnnie,who was busy looking at some item in the store was oblivious to jake who was practically looking down at you your ass with puppy dog eyes as you stood up
your eyes meet jake’s before they then notice the large print in his pants which you could’ve sworn looked at you first
“please baby don’t leave me like this” he whines in reference to his very prominent boner which you feel as he wraps his arms around your waist,checking to make sure no one else was in the isle
you weigh your options,because if you do help him then you’ll obviously loose the prank war because of your own prank but at the same time you and him wanted it just as bad,he just couldn’t hide it
“come on,you know you wanna help me” he whispers in your ear while he leaves a few small kisses along your neck,with his hard cock pressing right against your ass
this prompts you to quickly go and tell johnnie you and jake were “going to look at something” in the store before darting off to find the nearest bathroom.
as you walked away from johnnie you had a slight skip in your step while you and jake quickly entered the bathroom in hopes no one would see you.
jake instantly forced his hands up your tight fitting shirt groping at your tits before attacking your neck with wet,and sloppy kisses.
“jakey-baby you know I love it when you kiss me there but we don’t have a lot of time” you say in between breaths as he kissed your neck before halting his actions
he agrees but not without a groan and a plea on his end.
and before you know it your pressed against the cold wall with jake sliding the head of his cock inside of you.
with a sharp inhale jake was now fully inside of you,his hands holding onto you tightly as he says a quiet “you feel so good ‘round me” before beginning his assault on your cunt
you slapped a hand over his mouth knowing how loud he gets and as you expected his moans get louder while his strong arms hoisted you and held you against the bathroom stall. and just by how franticly he was thrusting into you, you could tell just how badly he needed you
you rested your head in the crook of his neck whimpering like crazy whenever he would thrust right against your cervix
“fuck- i’m gonna-” he groaned,his fingernails digging into your thighs as he came deep inside you. his hips continuing faster then they had before while his mouth connected with yours to muffle his moans
with his thrusts not faltering,his deep groans and grunts turned more into whimpers and moans when he continued to fuck his cum out of you as the two of you tried your best to stay quiet.
“don’t know how you expect me to stay quiet” he whines with a thrust. “not when she’s squeezing me this good-fuck” he moans out feeling close once again
you then pull him into a passionate kiss, wrapping your arms around him, one of your hands creeping up and gripping his hair. the two of you moaned into the kiss,jakes pace slowing down,the tip of his cock still brushing right against your cervix
you pulled back,with your hands still placed around him “jakey i’m gonna cum” you’d whine out. this then makes jake thrust even harder then before trying to get you to reach the peak he gets you too so well
you bite your lip, and surprisingly don’t draw blood, while you and Jake try your best to keep quiet. once again,you pull him into a kiss to stifle his and your moans as he fucks you through your orgasm.
after a few moments,he pulls out and the two of you put your clothes back on before jake stops.
“uhm babe,i know we just fucked but i’m still uh-“ he stutters too embarrassed to tell you. cocking a brow you question him to which you shortly get an answer when you look down and noticed the tent that was still pitched in his pants
#jake webber#jake webber smut#johnnie guilbert headcannons#johnnie guilbert smut#jake webber headcannons#smut#jake webber imagine#johnnie guilbert#johnnie guilbert x reader#jake and johnnie#jake webber drabble#johnnie guilbert drabble#johnnie guilber imagine#johnnie guilbert imagine
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If I chant noncon puppy play enough times will you grace us with more ghoap x reader noncon puppy play?
I would really love to see what you could do with Ghost coming across Soap and reader who are in a relationship but it’s rapidly becoming toxic with Soap becoming pervy and flirty with other people and reader being frustrated with it and the unsatisfying sex she’s having now because of it. And Ghost just takes one look and goes “yeah, I can make them happier” and then puts them in crates.
I like to think he’d put them in separate crates so they can’t actually touch each other but he’d make sure they were tied together so they couldn’t escape each other -💙
if you THINK noncon puppy play hard enough i'll probably feel it through the force and try to write it
also i fucking LOVE this ask and concept i love you for sending it in. this post is kinda scatterbrained though because i didn't want to write an actual drabble lol
im not a big fan of cheating in fics so im gonna exclude the idea of soap flirting with other people, but!!! i really really enjoy the idea of soap and reader being wrapped up in a toxic relationship and ghost going "let me get in on that". peak humor tbh.
i think this version of ghost would be sort of like howling and barking ghost - way more... subtle? puppy play. he's not taking you two home and shoving you in cages, he's getting you two conditioned to certain tones of voice and his whistles.
this is kinda difficult to come up for something with, because im trying to think of ways for ghost to slide himself into your relationship that even feel a tiny bit natural
my fave one (off the top of my head) is maybe you and johnny have been trying to pick up a third like every weekend to spice up your sex lives (you end up having near violent sex and arguing through the third person, and they're usually not down to hook up again) and one weekend you just so happen to ask ghost. he'd usually never take up an offer like that, but he sees the little fissures in your relationship pretty immediately and figures "what the hell?" might as well wreak a little havoc. unfortunately for him he gets far too attached as soon as he gets his hands on you two
i like to think he sort of just... becomes your third. at first it's just hookups (regularly, because you and johnny are fighting a lot recently and you love to do it with a third there instead of alone in your apartment and ghost never says no a threesome) but he pretty quickly establishes himself in your lives
from there, the training is easy. you and johnny are both fighting for power in your relationship, and you're too focused on your little game of tug-of-war to realize that ghost is swooping in and taking control of both of you instead. you're too busy working against each other to realize what he's doing to you
to be fair, he actually is helping you and johnny out quite a bit. you two are both hotheads with a lot of energy, fights happen very quickly and get very heated. ghost is there to step in, to knock the two of you on your asses and make you talk. you would not believe how often he sticks you in time-out, otherwise you two would say things you don't mean and end up pissy
he kinda literally talks to you two like you're dogs. a sharp "hey!" for bad behavior, scruffing one of you by the neck to hold you back, whistling to get your attention instead of saying your name, one word commands like "sit", "stay", and "come" instead of "wait a minute" or "come over here". pups need simple commands they can actually understand
he works on fixing your manners too :/
first step is to get you two waiting for permission to start dinner. sits down at the table and glares when either one of you eats before him, clears his throat all obnoxiously, does that horrible "thank you" when you drop your utensil. it's too awkward to push back against him (especially when you know how quickly he could stomp you down) and it's easier to just... listen. you get a pleased hum and a solid pet over your hair, a "good boy/girl" and the trade-off of waiting for permission to eat is worth it
(ghost places both yours and johnny's plate in front of you, smirks when he walks away and neither of you move to eat. fixes himself a plate, sits down, takes a few bites. neither of you move, you both get a little squirmy, huff a bit. he gives you the command word, and praises you both so good in bed that night. neither of you even notice that he's the only one at the table with utensils)
he sleeps between the two of you in bed because you both get jealous and possessive :/ wakes up to johnny snarling over his chest at you, grabs him by the jaw and hisses don't make me fuckin' muzzle you, rumbles all satisfied when johnny settles a bit
anyways you and johnny genuinely are happier with ghost <3 you're also more well-mannered and understanding of your positions!!! you're just a pup, pups shouldn't have an attitude, and they wait to eat until they're told, and sometimes they have to sleep in a crate when they've been bad :/
(when he crates one of you he has to crate the other. if he locks johnny up you spend the whole time trying to taunt him, and vice versa. also you two are more well-behaved when you know you both get in trouble for your misbehavior)
it took a bit of work to get you two used to the crates. really ghost fights you with the pure power of nonchalance. you're both already Attached, and he's in control of so much of your lives (more than either of you really know), and he treats the crates like they're normal. Expected. he's not someone who changes his mind, and both you and johnny know that. you can pitch as much of a fit as you want, but you're going in that crate no matter what. there's just... a sort of inevitability around ghost
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OUAW EP 26 (shorter bc I started writing this halfway thru):
FROST BECOMES A PROUD NUDIST AND DEREK’S COMMITMENT TO THE BIT I CANNOT
Oh god Gideon’s fey curse is so sad bc I was really hoping he’d play it no different but bc Richie played it no different Kremy is still in love w Gid and he’s gonna go through such a rollercoaster of emotions and events in the next bit oh no oh no
Ykw actually because Mace is playing it as physical attraction and bc of the “I like how you looked before” comment im gonna say this is Gideon being attracted to Summer Eladrin Kremy but still being in love with Kremy, which doesn’t necessarily make it less complicated but does change things
Where was this level of analysis when I still had to write papers for English classes?!??? Come on
“I am just so glad we are married” “oh the whole ironic thing! Right!! It’s totally ironic” NO GUYS COME ON KREMY IS SAYING THE IRONIC THING TO NOT BE HURT AND GIDEON IS GIDEONING SO MAYBE THATS THE SAFER OPTION
“We should probably get rings” AAAAAAAAAAA
“God I love you” HOLY SHIT HE SAID THE THING
“oh like ironically! You’re my best mate!” SAFEST OPTION SAFEST OPTION OH MY LORD
“Ironically, literally, there was a ceremony…” “ironically, just best buds right”
AND NOW MACE ISNT PLAYING IT ANY DIFFERENT. HES. HOLY SHIT HES JUST PLAYING IT LIKE IT WOULD BE IF GIDEON ALSO LOVED KREMY. AND MACE IS SCOOTING NEXT TO RICH I am going to cry
EVERYONE IS STRIPPING AGAIN WHAT IS GOING ON (atp this is just another Tuesday for these guys but THE CHARACTERS AND HISTORY INVOLVED SPECIFICALLY)
This is so well engineered to happen like this. It’s moments like these when I think the dice know.
Somehow Chuckles being here is not the most chaotic thing right now.
“Kremy. Kremy, lemme just say, I *loved* your previous form” SCREAMING. CRYING. HEAD IN MY HANDS. THROWING UP. SCUTTLING AWAY TO HIDE IN A CORNER.
He’s still trying to say it’s ironic whAT WILL IT TAKE. WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR THEM TO BE HAPPY.
Gideon trying to protect Kremy from the “were-Twig.” That’s all.
Chuckles is becoming the most chaotic force again, the balance is returning
TWIG BEING THEIR DAUGHTER
Back to your regularly scheduled chaos :)
LIVE GRICKO REACTION TO POST NUDIST FROST IS GOLD oh I love these guys
Wow Mikey that is a Face to make
Love when Nikkie just forces them together she’s literally taking the characters and going “now kiss”
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
COALECROUX DOMESTIC BLISS MOMENT WAHOO 🫵😮🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️
Derek’s little face aww
KREMY. IT IS NOT IRONIC. KREMY SHUT THE FUCK UP AND CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY OF BEING HAPPY
Love and hate how Donkey Torbek is just Eeyore. Poor little guy :(
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
“You feel your consciousness almost leave you with the force of Torbek’s growth— oh that sounds awful” “SOMEBODY QUOTE THAT RIGHT AWAY” on it 🫡🫡🫡
Not the shants 😭😭
No come on keep the Gideon love come on please Nikkie :((((((
Seriously tho it’s very sad that Frost’s robe is gone. That was his old master’s robe and I’m pretty sure the only memory Frost had left of him. Damn.
“You have made……no progress.” Sorry Nikkie :(
Frost’s robe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And Bag of Holding :)
Andy’s donkey bit is so fucking perfect I love that it’s infecting others. The donkey mnemonic contagion spreads
Oh no, they have to go over a water crossing. That historically has not gone well.
The RagnaRoss and RagnaRachel fanart request…………… guys 👀👀
Love Derek being salty about his roll
Not the frog heads 😭😭
Okay I’m really hungry so I am gonna stop typing now if anything else happens there will be another one
#I need food holy fuck hongry#once upon a witchlight#ouaw#legends of avantris#gideon coal#kremy lecroux#morning frost#gricko grimgrin#coalecroux#torbek#love this show so so so much#gonna go make myself a turkey sandwich#also COLAECROUX MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hi, I used to draw a lot but I've not drawn/created for a long time now, any tips to get back into it?
Or rather the whole thing about making art for yourself, I used to get a lot of attention for being good at art from other ppl and I'm not sure how to connect it back to myself again
I'm also contending with the Autism "It needs to be done in this way" and the ADHD "I can't focus for shit"
Also please don't worry if you don't know what to say, I'm just trying to get a variety of opinions to try and untangle my brain
Thank you in advance 💕
i think a good way to get back into creating *for yourself* whether its to come out of a dry spell or just to get back to creating things that you like, is what i call 'backtracking' (bearing in mind that my particular methods may only work for me! im lucky ive never struggled with focus when it comes to drawing things, but maybe some of these things will help as my main goal when drawing is to entertain myself!)
also before i move on this i think is valuable: you gotta draw things that you aren't gonna post sometimes. it's fun and fulfilling to make art for an audience, and wanting attention is not shameful (ITS HUMAN!) but also we live in panopticon times and i think its good to train your "i am alone doing something for myself and no one has to see it" muscles.
backtracking is a couple different things:
look back to when you were really young. what kinds of drawings were the most fun to do? what did you spend time on or get really into? for me, this was a few things! tracing cartoons, drawing up elaborate scenes of lots of little creatures doing a thing, and designing little characters as paper dolls and making their houses and little furniture and accessories and such to cut out and play with. also getting paint all over my hands (i still paint my whole hand whenever im done doing something with acrylics before i wash up! its stimming)! backtracking here is when you try to take those things and make use of them now. try to find that old joy and use it in a way that makes you happy today, even if it's something small or silly or embarrassing. it can really help you rediscover what parts of art make YOU happy!
if you're regularly drawing and in a slump, backtracking for me is stepping back and doing either more exercises and practising the things you feel like you already know how to draw (ie. studying angles of the face or pulling up imgs of rooms on pinterest to see how normal people arrange furniture etc.), or simplifying your drawings to a level that feels more relaxing and less stressful. (ie. chibis instead of more detailed characters etc.) i find i kind of fall back to chibis when i feel lost, and then sort of rebuild from there. its fun to let my style change as i grow!
ALSO! im telling your autism this for your adhd's sake (this is useful for anyone i think): if there is a part of art that you do not enjoy doing or find boring but you feel it is an important or necessary step in the process? the secret is it isnt! art is made up. if you hate lining, dont do it! if youre a digital artist and get caught up picking a brush every time because you feel like you need the perfect one? switch to mspaint for a bit to get the nerves out. it can be really freeing!
art is for having fun and fulfilling our need to create. the rules are all made up and not real. perfectionism is the little death that something something i forget. yeah
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Most beautiful woman ♡
ushijima fic
a/n: this is a ver self indulging fic. I normally try and characteristics of y/n out, but like i said this is very self indulging. It's just a little drabble i came up with while tryna stop be so insecure abt my hair. Also this was supposed to be posted yesterday but i forgot :)
background info:
you and 'toshi met while he was playing volleyball in poland and recently you guys just moved back to Japan (you are not from japan). Also, Kiyoomi is a single dad.
Since moving to Japan life has been full of seeing new places and meeting 'Toshi's friends and family. It was a fresh start for you considering you have never been to such a foreign place, but you always felt comfortable when you were with Wakatoshi.
It was his idea to move back and you could see how his eyes lit up at the thought. Since coming back 'Toshi has tried to regularly keep in contact with his friends and plan hangouts. Today was one of those days. 'Toshi was going to be going out with his friend, Kiyoomi, for the night and you would stay in and watch his beautiful baby girl. She had the biggest dark brown doe eyes and perfect curls surrounding her face. While the two men were out. Your night was filled with cartoon toys and a very energetic five year old.
You always heard how smart the little girl was through texts and pictures shared between Wakatoshi and Kiyoomi, but you didn't realize it went pass just academics. While pausing the movie to use the restroom Keiko, kiyoomi's daughter, decided to share something.
"y/n chan... do you like my hair?" The little girl asked. Her eyes got bigger beginning to fill with tears. Getting down on your knees you immediately hugged the small child to comfort her.
"ofc i do. Why wouldn't i," you responed. You couldn't believe these thoughts were coming up, and were worried what they would lead too.
"w-well people at my school have been commenting on it. Saying that it's much different then their hair, a-and my papa has hair like me so he wouldn't get it," You hugged the sniffling girl tighter in your arms as she explained. Your heart felt a little tighter hearing her explanation. "i wish i could just have straight hair like you and everyone else,"
Her final sentence is what hurt you the most. For years you have been straighting and doing everything in your power to keep your hair straight. Even keeping it pulled back and braided when you and 'toshi went to the beach. It hurt to hear the little girl having the same thoughts as a grown women like you. Tears started to pool at your eyes but you wanted to appear strong for the little girl in you arms. Leading down to kiss the top of her head you whispered to her, "oh baby... can i tell you a secret," at that her red eyes peered up at you like whatever you said could make of break her whole night. "my hair is actually a lot like yours. more curly then wavy. i'll show you. Come with me."
The little one trailed behind you to the bathroom. Wiping her eyes every once in a while on the way there. You could tell she was skeptical on you, but she would stay silent because she trusted you. She trusted you. The guilt was already beginning to settle in. "do you have a spray bottle," you asked and you placed her on the white counter.
"yeah, papa keeps one in there when he does my hair," she says as she points to the cabinet below the sink. Low and behold there are plenty of hair products made specifically for those with curly hair. You picked up the pink bottle filled with water and began misting your hair. Make sure to get all of it.
"i have very thick hair so you have to be patient okay," Keiko nodded at that and patiently watched you wet your hair as she kicked her feet gently off the counter. "now im gonna separate, brush, and start putting in the curl cream," Taking the brush you began section your hair, putting the cream in, and begin making small tight curls with the brushes handle. In the corner of you eye you could see the little girl watching in awe. It took much longer then you expected after not doing you hair in such a long time. Finally you finished it off with the curling moose, and showed her the final product.
To say Keiko was happy would be an understatement. Her smile was huge and you could see her missing front tooth as she looked at you like you put all the stars in the sky. "you have to pinky promise me that you will never hide your beautiful curls from the world, okay." she nods st your words and begins to hold out her pinky for you to link with. Both of you kiss your thumbs to seal the deal. You spent the rest of the night playing with Keiko and making sure she didn't have any bad thoughts. You on the other hand made sure Keiko couldn't see that you were just as insecure - maybe even more- then Keiko was about your curls.
You felt like a hypocrite. You spent so much of your time straighting and making sure your hair was dried a certain way so that no one could tell your hair was any different from theirs. You hoped that Keiko would never have to experience the things that were said to you. And a little part of you wished you had someone like yourself when you were younger to tell you how pretty your curls were. Sadly, you couldn't bring yourself to accept your curls and planned to wash and redo your hair before the guys came back. You just weren't ready for such a big jump. 'toshi probably wouldn't think you were as beautiful if you showed him your natural hair. He probably would break up with you because they made you ugly, and find another girl with better hair. After moving to Japan your insecurities skyrocked seeing that the standard was to have straight hair. Very rarely did you see a girl with curly hair.
Lost in your thoughts you hadn't heard the front door begin to open untill it was to late. Two six foot tall men came walking into the small home. It was dark and you were frozen in your spot. Keiko immediately ran to her father happy to see him home early. You on the other hand glued to your seat on the floor and kept your back turned from your boyfriend. "y/n...hey" 'Toshi deep voice traveled through the home to were you were seated on the living room floor.
Slowly turning round you saw your boyfriend with his standard expressionless face, but you knew this wasn't his ordinary deadpan look. He was thinking.
a lot.
Beginning to get worried you stood up and began walking over to him. Ready to explain that you did your hair with a curling iron (toshi knew that those curls could not be made easily with an iron). His mouth opened and closed and then open and closed again like he was trying to say wow. "'toshi it's-"
"you are the most beautiful women i've ever seen, and somehow you just became more beautifuler"
smiling at his response you couldn't help but tell him, "toshi i dont think beaurifuler is a word" giggling a bit at your boyfriend's vocabulary.
"well idk how else to describe you," he responded still with a shocked look on his face but his eyes told you that he was in awe of what he was looking at. "i-is this your natural hair. It's so pretty." You slowly nodded at that pulling in you lips in as you could feel your body heating up. 'toshi made you shy a lot but never this much. looking down you slowly wrapped your self around his waist and pressed your head into his chest. He was your safe place. He always knew the perfect words to say to you, and he definitely had the key to your heart.
Later Kiyoomi came back downstairs after putting Keiko to sleep. "thank you so much. She said you made her really love her curls. Idk what exactly happened, but im glad she's happy with you." Your happy to be with Keiko too. You may have taught her a valuable lesson but she in turn taught you one. You would never hide you curls again, and especially not from your wakatoshi.
#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff#ushijima imagine#ushijima headcanons#ushijima fluff#ushijima x reader#ushijima fic#ushijima wakatoshi
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hellooo!! helloo!! I have... I have TWO QUESTIONS!! 1. How would each of them react to someone being homophobic/transphobic towards them? 2. uhhh how would they react if they saw their parents? especially the ones that don't like/have never met parents (i was gonna put something else for the second one but uhhh i frogor uh oh)
OH BOY TWO QUESTIONS!! Ok lets all pray Tumblr doenst eat this its gonna be a lot
Ok first question, how would they react to someone being queerphobic to them?
Eddie: “mhm… sure…” he does not care. He deosnt really listen to people in the first place, the second you start trying to offend him he just tones you out. He does not give half a shit. Maybe if you keep talking.. a fuck will fall into his hand!
Poppy: being queerphobic to her?? Eh. Who cares. She lived through a homophobic cult and also bigoted parents, shes got tough skin. Being queerphobic to her children? PREPARE TO CATCH THESE TALONS BIIIITCH
Julie: absolutely roasts you. She takes one look at you and digs up your nastiest trauma some how. Like this “ew a girl dating a girl thats gay (idk how to be homophobic)” “? *looks up and down* okay? I didn’t ask, go tell your mom. Oh, wait shes dead isn’t she? And your father isn’t even present, he left when you were 6 and you had to rely on your Grandfathers homophobic ideology and your Grandmothers abuse. I don’t care what you have to think.” Then the homophobe just lays on the floor in the fetal position.
Sally: “196.251.208.6” get doxxed.
Frank: he just starts crying :( then he goes and tells Eddie and hes gonna stab you
(How do you even be homophobic to someone questioning??) Barnaby: “I know my identity isn’t the root of your anger.. come here, sit down, lets talk it out..” uuuh free therapy? He just summons tea bc all grandpas have the ability to just summon tea
Howdy: i actually have no idea. Ik hes sort of gotten this reputation as violent but hes- guys hes pathetic. He probably just laughs at them and shoos them away, maybe pull the gun from under the counter if he needs to
OK ooo o this ones a little less fun.. if they met their parents
Eddie: quick Eddie lore he was raised in joint custody, his parents hate each other so… uhm.. were getting the gang back together! He’d probably just sit with his face in his hands as his parents fight like “Ohmygod.. guys stop” they blame each other for how Eddie ended up and hes like “Im literally right here”
Poppy: shes long gotten over her fear of her parents. She’s happy and thats all that matters, she’ll happily tell off her parents like a GIRLBOSS YEAAAHHH happily explain how she escaped the cult they sent her too and how happy she is rn
Julie: uhm.. Julie’s parents are dead. Next question. Lmao ok but fr if she like.. came back to life she’d be so happy :3 she, and all the other joyfuls, were raised by a single mom and Julie got all her “men are trash, defend urself, never be afraid to punch a man” type ideology from her mom and her mom was super accepting and she misses herrr :((
Sally: now you may think Sally has a terrible relationship with her parents.. but she doesnt :3 shes unable to see her mom (for agoraphobic, mental health, and also legal reasons) but she loves her a lot. Her mom did sort of raise her in shitty conditions, but Sally doesn’t blame her at all and misses her a lottt wah
Frank: no
Barnaby: ooohh no… so uuh lore for those that dont know, Barnaby’s parents gave him up to the “”””boarding school”””” when he was four and he doesnt remember them. He’d probably be happier then he should to meet them, but most definitely get gaslit by his parents :( like they have what Barnaby thinks is a normal conversation but really isnt.. someone stop it q-p
Howdy: he fuckin loves his dad!! And all his family!!! And he sees them regularly, so itd just be a normal visit
AAA big post ee
Also tumblr didnt eat it thank u tumblr
#welcome home#welcome home au#welcome home opposite au#thanks for the serotonin!#howdy pillar#eddie dear#frank frankly#julie joyful#sally starlet#barnaby b beagle#poppy partridge#poppy ‘ma’ partridge
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hiiiiiiii so um. ik a while back you posted a doodle of yourself with short hair and i’ve been thinking about cutting mine short—do you have any tips about picking a style or anything that might not be obvious about having short hair?
oh fuck yes I do! I've had short-medium hair in a few different styles since I was thirteen (im 20 now, so it's been a while) and I recently buzzed my head for the second time so i'm pretty experienced in this area lol!
first thing you should know is that if anyone has ever suggested that you don't have the "facial structure" for short hair or that you're not gonna look good with it is full of shit. no one tells men they don't have the face for short hair. i promise it's gonna look good. chop that shit off
in terms of style, be aware of the amount of work the style you pick is going to take. when I first cut my hair short the reference photo I gave my stylist was of a heavily styled cut--something that would take gel and hairspray and a lot of effort to maintain every day. The base cut was fine, but it didn't look like my reference photo without a ton of effort on my part, and at 13 I wasn't really willing to put that kind of effort in, so my hair ended up unstyled and kind of flat and weird for a while. if you're someone that doesn't like to put a ton of work into styling their hair every day, pick a style you can just wake up and go with. my personal favorite lazy bitch haircut is the buzzcut that i currently have. insanely low maintenance and comes with the added benefit of stopping weird men from talking to you in public. perfect haircut.
Also be aware of how your cut is going to grow out and/or how often you're going to have to get it trimmed to keep it looking the same way. that was something i remember being really surprised about when i first cut my hair off--when your hair gets to a certain length, it grows more slowly and you don't have to cut it as regularly to maintain its health and your look. when you have shorter hair, your hair grows FAST, and if you're not planning on growing it out you're going to need much more regular trimming to keep it in check. Make sure that that's in your budget or that you have the time and skill to trim it back yourself! Alternatively, if you're planning on growing it out after the cut, look into how it's gonna grow out so you know what to expect in terms of look and styling. I like to buzz my head mid-summer and let it grow out for about a year before shaving it all off again, because I know that I like all the stages of growing out that cut and I know how to style all of them. there's always gonna be an awkward stage of growing out your hair, but make sure that you're not gonna spend a ton of time hating your look just to get your length back if that's your plan!
my final advice: if you're looking for a specifically masculine haircut as an afab person, do not go to the same older female stylist you've been going to since you were 10 years old. trust me. You can show that woman a picture of a whole grown man for reference and you will still be leaving with a karen cut. she is incapable of giving you what you want. Either try to find a stylist who you trust to use your reference faithfully, go to a male barber, or cut it yourself! especially if you're going for a simple buzzcut or something similar, it's really easy to cut your own hair at home with a pair of electric clippers from amazon. I've been cutting my hair with safety scissors and some clippers borrowed from a friend for going on 4 years now. it's easier than you think!! youtube tutorials are your best friend.
now onto things you might not know:
listen to me. this is the single most important piece of advice i can give you. buy spray-on sunscreen and SPRAY YOUR FUCKING HEAD. there is no hell like a peeling sunburn all over your fucking scalp. it will happen and you will not expect it and you will want to die. you are going to think your hair is thick enough that it won't happen and it is going to happen anyway. do not take chances with this shit
you do NOT need nearly as much shampoo and conditioner for a short cut as you are instinctively going to put in your hands after years of having long hair. think, proportionately, about the product-to-hair ratio you were using BEFORE your haircut, and do not squirt out more than like a nickel-sized pool of product at the absolute most. your bank account and your hair will thank you.
short hair still needs to be taken care of especially if you're bleaching/otherwise chemically treating it regularly! if you're putting harsh chemicals in your hair you should be using restorative treatments afterwards regardless of length. no matter how short your hair is it can still get stringy and gross and break!!
in that same vein, you CANNOT be applying bleach to your short hair in the same way you do for your long hair. listen to me. Drugstore bleach cannot be sitting directly on your scalp for more than 20 minutes. if your hair is short, any amount of bleach you put in it is going to end up sitting directly on your scalp. i know it's tedious to do multiple passes but chemical burns are even more tedious. please do not put bleach on your skin
also in regards to bleaching/color, keep in mind that your semipermanent color is probably going to have less longevity in your short hair than it did in your long hair. Since all your hair is close to your scalp now, it's taking the brunt of your shampoo regimen and therefore the dye is going to wash out quicker than it would in long hair where most of the dye is further away from the scalp. if you're regularly trimming your hair to keep it your desired length, you're also going to be cutting out a lot more color than you would by just trimming dead ends on long hair. you may find yourself spending more on hair dye if you dye your hair regularly!
#hope this helps <3 i am very much looking forward to the growing-out phases of this current buzzcut cycle i already miss my pigtails lowkey#but i do still love my short hair and i think everyone who wants short hair should go for it!! its so fun and freeing#asks
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hey im endo neutral before you go off on one, but just came in here to say triggering people's psychosis is cringe and fail, so is triggering abandonment/attachment issues, so is going against a group of highly traumatised indivoduals (cause lets face it thats exactly what you did, regardless of whether they accept you or not or whether you think theyre "bigoted" or not) and ALSO you really do not give pro endos a good look and maybe you should like reevaluate what you post or think for more than like three seconds before hitting post (literally anyone could have seen how that post would be incredibly triggering). i look through your blog every once in a while to look at all the papers you post and all your arguments cause i like having a nuanced view and i understand it feels shitty for people to not believe in an integral part of you - i have the same thing when it comes to my religion but i dont fucking go around telling non believers im gonna take everything they love away from them because im not an asshole? have a day <3
I'm just curious... is there a group actively identifying as anti-[your religion]?
Do you have to regularly deal with non-believers coming into your religious spaces just to tell you that your religion isn't real and that you're faking your religious experiences?
How many times have you been told to kill yourself because of your religion?
When was the last time you saw someone say cyberbullying needed to be brought back specifically to bully people with your religion?
When you introduce people to your religion, are the non-believers accusing you of "grooming" them?
Do you want to know something? I don't actually care if people believe in me or not. That vast majority of people don't know that tulpas exist because it's still pretty niche.
That's fine. They can be taught later.
Other people people are aware of bits and pieces but don't get involved and don't believe either. They have their beliefs and keep those to themselves. I can respect that.
These people aren't anti-endos.
But then you have a hate group who have made it part of their identity to spread constant hate and disinformation about us. These are not simply "non-believers." This a group that is united solely by their hatred of us.
And this is probably more controversial in the pro-endo community, but I don’t even mind the "endogenics are all traumagenics in denial" people, in theory. As long as they're respectful and aren't actively spreading hate or standing with those who do.
I say in theory though because practically every one I've actually encountered is still gatekeeping space and resources. And that somehow makes it even worse to me because while disbelieving in endogenic plurality is ignorant, even if willfully ignorant, believing we're confused trauma survivors in denial and still treating us like shit and gatekeeping terms means they're just knowingly hurting other trauma survivors.
Don't you dare try to frame this as me simply going after people for not believing me.
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You really gotta start posting sources
okay so this is a rant and a half bc i’m just so physically, mentally, and emotionally fucking tired.
believe it or not anon, i don’t go out and find frimages specifically for this blog. i literally, on my down time when im bored, or am having a shitty day, just scroll through apps and the internet looking at frank. i save pics to my phone that i like and put them in my frank album bc i enjoy looking at frank iero. i made this blog to scream about frank purely for myself. i didn’t make this blog with the goal of documenting frimages. this is a purely selfish blog. it’s very incredibly cool to me that i have a solid number of followers, but i literally couldn’t give a flying fuck if i have 20 or 2,000. because again. i just like to scream about frank and i tag my shit so i can search back in my blog for a specific pic easier than i can in my photos app regardless of how organized it is.
i have the short term memory of a fucking dusty pecan shell on the side of the road. i mean this in the most respectful way possible, but there is no way in hell i’m going to be able to remember to grab a source link to put in the caption of a frimage i saved to my phone. not for lack of trying, but come the fuck on. i work, go to classes, am a caregiver, and take care of the inside and outside duties of a house. i do so much more than any single person should have to do at 30 and have been for the last fucking decade. i just want to carefree and casually enjoy looking at and screaming about frank iero. this is unfortunately and pitifully one of my only sources of joy and relaxation that i can manage on a remotely regular basis. i can’t tell you the last time i actually had the time or physical or emotional energy to paint or draw or compose/play music. i miss painting. it physically hurts every time i see my grandmothers easel in the corner of my room because she would paint on that regularly and left it to me because i paint just like her. and i can’t even remember the last time i actually used it. because i’m just so fucking tired.
so i’m gonna reiterate again that i have never claimed that any of these frimages are mine, nor will i ever. when the time comes that i take my own pics of frank im very likely not even gonna credit my own damn self and i honestly don’t give a fuck if someone takes my frimage and posts it without crediting me. now if someone knows who originally took a frimage then literally by all means just let me know and i’ll put credits. i’m more than happy to edit a post. people have been kind enough to do so in the past.
but please for the love of everything holy, let me just have a blog where i can scream about frank and not have to worry about anything else for a little while, okay?~🎃
#i love you anon and thank you for feeling comfortable enough to express your feelings#i’m not being melodramatic#i’m not over exaggerating#please#today is not the day for me#not the week#not the month#i’m just so so tired#i’m genuinely sorry if this makes me sound like a total asshole and terrible human being#but fuck#frnkiebby#anon
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it's tuesday!
last weekend someone taught me how to catch crayfish when wading and this weekend i successfully grabbed one!! proof at the end of the post.
listening: guess (charli xcx, billie eilish): old roommate put this on for me and helloooooo. it's so. yeah. (link is the official music video, warning for flashing) it led me to this playlist cunty trashy slutty skanky which, first of all, excellent playlist name; second of all, what a fucking combination of songs?? something about the juxtaposition of nirvana -> kesha -> korn, etc is. insane in a good way.
last week was bandcamp friday! i last-minute got a few things: finally got sammy rae's "good life" and "let's throw a party", and preordered their newest album "something for everybody". i still need to buy my ticket for their concert near to me this fall. then i got sad snack's full discography for like $5 (the no children ska cover lol), the altogether's "when we were kids" which has been a go-to comfort album for me for a bit, shakey graves "deadstock" anthology, and finally the dear hunter "antimai".
i've been back on the podcast grind, just casually keeping up with stuff like mbmbam sawbones lpotl etc as they come out. most recent mbmbam (episode....730?? jesus christ) has some REALLY funny bits, notably towards the beginning where the cincinnati tornado sirens were being tested and griffin made a comment about the air raid sirens going off again and travis was like ?? dude i'm not in the fucking blitz??? it was very good. there was something else towards the end of the episode that also made me laugh out loud -- oh yes i just went and relistened to the last minute and it's the wish at the end, "i wish my cat would know what it means when i flip him off". so fucking true griffin. i was considering going to one of their tour dates but unfortunately they will be in the nearest city to me when i'm out of town for my second wedding of the fall. ah well
reading: most fallow. lots of little articles for my research.
watching: shane dawson and the art of the constant rebrand - jimmy robins: little retrospective about a guy who i never really liked and haven't thought about in years. i guess he's still around ??? okay. not gonna embed it so you don't get jumpscared by his face.
playing: this is a partial share with watching but last weekend my old roommate and i hung out with one of our friends with the intention of having dinner and crafting. however. we were so tired from kayaking earlier that day that we just ended up watching friend play stray and not crafting at all. it's really cute! i did get Very emotional at the beginning when the cat fell! i was like no!!!
my friend mostly played it but i did do a little bit, it was lots of fun. there was a very funny bit where friend, getting really in the mindset of Being Cat, pulled out a battery pack from a fan and was like "hehe i'm gonna drop it off the roof!" and did it before we could stop her, we were like wait we might need that to solve a puzzle -- but the answer was no it was fine, which is good, because it ended up dropped on a completely inaccessible rooftop ledge below, oopsie.
making: !!! ALL REDACTED !!! i will be able to post some of it next week. i do not know if beloved mutual celestialtourguide reads these regularly but just to be safe. allegedly the glaze kiln WILL be done by wednesday so i will finally know how fucked my guys are. if they're very fucked it'll be like. well, okay, i guess my gift is just money now,
other redacted item is embroidery related!
eating: mostly leftovers from last week, i think im gonna make crisped chickpeas with herbs and garlic yogurt from deb smittenkitchen to use up a zucchini that i have languishing in the fridge. it'll be a nice light lunch.
misc: THE PRELIMINARY EXAM DOCUMENT EXISTS. rejoice. however this comes with the caveat that i don't have a date set yet because i am in the trenches of trying to solve a Very specific problem with my software. the solution is a complete unknown to me as of now. it is in the stage of "putting key words in quotation marks in google scholar and going down the list emailing all the authors like heyyyy help please", which is scary. at least one other person has done something semi-similar - in fact they have my advisor in their acknowledgements thanking them for her editing help lol - so i'm hoping i'm nearly there. because once that is resolved i can FINALLY set a date, which, assuming i pass, also sets the earliest point at which i can give my thesis defense! scary!!
anyway. crayfish proof. it looks like im squishing him way worse than i actually was, he got released and swam away safely do not worry
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that last post mentioning masks got me thinking about how like... i quite literally cannot wear a mask at all times due to one of my disabilities. i TRY to wear one when i can but it isnt always an option for me, which fucking sucks because im terrified of getting sick and potentially worsening the very disability that prevents me from consistently masking. and hardly anyone masks anymore so its not like theyre helping to keep me or anyone else safe lmfao. to spell it out very plainly i am PRO-MASK so dont put words in my mouth here please.
i experience heat intolerance, as a symptom of some kind of muscle weakness fatigue issue that still hasnt been properly diagnosed. my body temperature runs warm, im overly sensitive to my environment, and physical activity makes it worse. if i overheat, my muscle weakness (and nausea, and brain fog, and-) will flare up and ill be forced to rest for what could range from minutes to hours to days to weeks to months depending on how bad it is. i have to take IMMEDIATE action when i notice myself getting too warm because i cant risk that, and taking immediate action includes removing anything i can thats keeping me warm, including masks.
so when i walk to work in the summer bc i have exactly zero alternate options? most likely cant mask right away when i come in unless the weather is cooler than usual, because i need to take like half an hour for my body temperature to go back to normal.
moving around more than usual during my shift? the physical activity is gonna increase my temperature and ill have to take my mask off.
going somewhere other than work, having to either walk or take the bus? either way i have to spend time in the sun and so again i will probably need a cool down period once i get inside / on the bus, depending on how hot the weather is.
and theres an intersection here of my multiple disabilities and my poverty. i cant drive due to another illness, and i cant afford to use a rideshare service or even regularly take the bus, so walking in the heat is my only option to get to work. my work options are limited because i couldnt complete college and cant perform heavy physical labor, so i have to stick with a retail job that requires a lot of moving throughout the store, which itself is physical labor that can potentially make me sick if i go overboard.
mostly i just wanted to put this out there because i never really see people talk about actual reasons they cant wear masks, its almost always antimaskers who dont give a damn about people like me. but if you take anything from my ranting, let it be these two points:
while most people who dont wear masks are just making that choice because they dont like doing so or dont think its important anymore, a few of us out here literally cannot always mask despite knowing its a risk to ourselves and others; and
IF YOU CAN MASK PLEASE KEEP FUCKING MASKING. covid still exists! disabled people still exist! many of us are extra susceptible to the long term effects of covid! please fucking help to protect us! please give a shit about us! i feel like im shouting into the void here because i hardly see anyone mask anymore but please.
#ok to rb#just a couple weeks ago my roommate got sick with a covid scare and it was fucking terrifying to think i might catch it again#i know most people see covid as something mostly or entirely in the past but it isnt#and some of us are still scared and trying to survive#spoonie#covid#covid cw
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finally deciding to make an about me post yippee yay!!
Hi my name is Crow! Most of what I reblog is fandom stuff, and I jump between fandoms quite frequently <//3 I have a few that I tend to come back to regularly however (Somehow I manage to have a dragon age obsession at least once a year. it is very consistent)
If I don't respond to something, it is either bc 1) I genuinely don't know what to say and social interactions terrify me, 2) I was too tired to respond to something when I saw it then I promptly forgot about it or 3) got anxious and convinced myself that the person who sent it hates me or something. Deepest apologies I'm just awful at stuff like that and have pretty bad anxiety I do try though <//3
I block very very generously! If you do end up blocked by me it may not be for any actually bad reasons, you could have just worded something in a way that mildly annoyed me, please dont take offense to it lmao. Me and the block button are madly in love, and I do not hesitate to press it. This is mostly just to curate an experience that is fun for me, and also to avoid me getting overly mad about random bad takes i see. Bigotry of any kind is not tolerated and you will be blocked.
I tend to ramble on about my ocs a worrying amount. As of right now, I am rather focused on my dragon age ocs, but i also have personal ocs and ocs for other fandoms
About tagging
Generally I try to tag things appropriately, although sometimes i am not the brightest and forget. If I do that's my bad I'll normally notice before too long
I tag all my art as "#my art". If you only want my art stuff, I have an alt that is solely for reblogging all my art. That is @bucket-of-crows
My rambling tag is "#crow rambles" half the time this is me yapping about my ocs, other half is me complaining about something lmao
I tag my ocs using "oc: *oc name*" as a way to organize stuff. I also use "worldstate: *worldstate name*" for dragon age worldstates, since I have a few. Any posts I make about my ocs/oc playthroughs is tagged "#my ocs"
While I don't tend to reblog sexual stuff, anything with excessive nudity is tagged as "#nsfw" just to be on the safe side
I tag all Dragon age: The Veilguard spoilers as "#dav spoilers" I will probably continue to tag this as spoilers for a while. I also tag anything critical of the game as "#dav critical" Anything critical of other dragon age games / bioware as a company is typically tagged "#bioware critical" or "#da critical"
About my ocs
Im gonna ramble about my ocs a bit, so I'll put this under a cut so this doesnt look too long lmao
I accidentally posted this instead of saving to my drafts so this section isn't done my bad
Aviae Surana
(she/her)
Aviae is my main dragon age origins oc, and I talk about her quite a bit. Shes specializes in spirit healing/arcane warrior/battle mage. Technically she also takes a little bit of levels into keeper, but I don't really consider it one of her canon class since I never use it with her like I do the others.
She romances Morrigan, and does the dark ritual with her. She puts Alistair on the throne due to her distrust of Anora. She feels guilty about it, but she would do it again in a heartbeat. Her closest friends from Origins are Zevran and Alistair, but she considers all of the people she traveled with dear friends. From the Awakening crew, Anders is practically family to her (they grew up in the Circle together, and shes always considered him like a brother), and Nathaniel becomes someone she ends up relying on. Her and Justice also get along very well, even if they butt heads on occasion.
For important decisions, she sided with the mages, made Bhelen king of Orzammar, made a truce between the Dalish and the werewolves, helped Redcliffe and saved Connor without Isolde dying. She kept Avernus alive (I'm still in the air about whether she allows him to continue his research), let the Architect live as well, and saved Amaranthine. Vigil's keep stood its ground with the upgrades she had provided it.
This is my girl! Sadly I don't have a better reference for her current canon outfit (she has an old outdated reference sheet though), so this will have to do.
In some of the older posts, I refer to her and Alistair as exes. Sadly, while this is a fascinating dynamic, it is not canon anymore. As much as I love Alistair, Aviae would not trust him enough to fall in love with him due to him having trained as a templar. Eventually they become close friends, but never more than that. She is part of my "Mage rights" Worldstate. I tag all of her posts as "oc: Aviae Surana"
Wolfe Amell
(he/him)
Lucio Hawke
(he/they) (probably) (its not like hes figured it out yet lmao)
Selene Adaar
(she/her)
Revari Mercar-Surana
(they/them)
Ena de Riva
(he/him)
Tyrian
(he/him)
Varamis
(she/her)
Other Ocs
Some ocs I either don't have a lot of content for, or dont post about enough to warrant me giving them their own section, so I'm going to put their tags down here. All posts about my ocs are tagged as "#my ocs". Some of these ocs may eventually get full sections if I get the motivation for it
Athiman Mahariel (he/him) (Dragon Age)- Morrigan romancer who made the ultimate sacrifice. Tagged as "#oc: Athiman Mahariel"
Veloura Mahariel (she/her) (Dragon Age)- Leliana romancer who got Alistair to do the dark ritual. Tagged as "#oc: Veloura Mahariel"
Viara Hawke (she/her) (Dragon Age)- Merrill romancer who sided with the mages. Tagged as "#oc: Viara Hawke"
Yvette Hawke (she/her) (Dragon Age)- Isabela romancer who sided with the mages. Tagged as "#oc: Yvette Hawke"
Zel (he/him) (Dragon Age)- Part of Selene's mercenary group. Has an au where he's Inquisitor, but that one isn't canon. Dorian romance. Tagged as "#oc: zel adaar"
Vashoth (she/her) (Dragon Age)- Part of Selene's mercenary group. Tagged as "#oc: vashoth"
Solmummer Adaar (she/her) (Dragon Age)- Josephine romancer. Tagged as "#oc: Solmummer Adaar"
Tyrian (he/him) (Pathfinder WOTR)- Tiefling, Daeran romancer, Lawful good turned Neutral good. Mystic path went from Angel to Legend path. I do actually have a lot of posts about him I just don't feel like writing a blurb about him <//3 I do adore him though. Tagged as "#oc: tyrian"
Uvara (she/her) (Pathfinder WOTR)- Dhampir, Arueshalae romancer, Chaotic Good, Azata. Tagged as "#oc: uvara"
Watcher Nyxtra (she/her) (Pillars of Eternity)- Pallegina romancer (the lack of a canon romance cannot stop me), tagged as "#oc: watcher nyxtra"
Arphae (she/her)
Grisvald (he/him)
Kaid (he/him)
Zayan (she/her)
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left - 01/08/24, right - 01/14/24
almost one week of nail growth, a bit of grooming in between these images so they're slightly different shapes (squared vs rounded) .... it's been about a month now but i wanted to share my progress of growth in just the past week!
more thoughts below the cut
just to start this off i wanna say i've been a chronic nail biter for as long as i can remember, it's something that went hand in hand with my anxiety & adhd — both my mom and stepdad also bite their nails too so i grew up around it (along with being shamed and scolded my entire life by those same people for biting my nails)
i'm very proud of the progress i've made so far, considering i started really working towards not biting my nails on dec 18 2023 ... it's now jan 14 2024, so it's been about a month of this journey trying to stop biting my nails
i don't have any advice to how i stopped biting my nails to anyone who's trying to stop, other than just. holding myself accountable and redirecting my energy towards other things. also being okay with catching myself wanting to bite my nails - such as putting my fingertips in my mouth and feeling the nails with my teeth but not biting down - i try very hard not to shame myself or be upset with myself because habits are Very hard to break. and earlier in this journey (first week or so) when i did end up biting my nails and having to start from scratch, i tried to stay positive about my progress and will continue to do so if i slip up again, yknow?
anyways. some things i've noticed since my nails are now longer than they've ever been in my life:
1. shit gets caught under my nails constantly!! this is why painting my nails black is good cuz it helps me not obsess and pick at them (don't worry, i groom very regularly so my nails Are Clean)
2. my nail beds need a lot more time to fully heal and that's okay! also, everyone's nail beds aren't 'perfect' or all symmetrical, and there's no need to obsess over "how" my nails are growing in, it's better to appreciate that they're healthy now and getting healthier by the day
3. there's certain little joys i find for myself as my nails have gotten longer - one of the main ones is that sometimes when i type on my phone now i can hear my right thumbnail clacking against the screen. i never thought i'd be to this point, but now it's an everyday occurrence!! also, being able to scratch my husband's back for real is so affirming - i actually have to be careful when scratching myself not to go too hard now, too, cuz there's nails and not just my fingertips digging into skin!
okay this is starting to get kind of rambly and honestly is mostly for myself to come back to as i continue my journey of trying to break the habit of biting my nails. i just wanna finish off by saying again that i am very proud of myself for the progress i've made so far and i'm excited to be able to look back at this post and see how much further i've come.
idk how to end this so. here's some more pics courtesy of my husband. im gonna go paint my nails again
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