#Im going mental

[idontwanttobesillyanymore]

Real

[tsumeta-inodayo]

[electrohazard]

One of the gems i found while scrolling through op4's reviews

[feli026]

'...It does get a bit lonely here, doesn't it?'

[ffroppydisk]

This morning brought this:

Which then led to:

Kevin and loving Jean, a drabble.

mentions of blood, Riko, homophobia

He couldn't indulge, that was something Kevin had known for as long as he had been in the nest.

He knew better.

It didn't matter how badly he wanted to indulge, he couldn't. He shouldn't.

Will you teach me when he's not looking?

It was an urge from inside. He knew it was wrong, but how could he not? Jean was so Jean, with all it entailed, and Kevin was too weak to resist it entirely.

It was a dangerous game, the one he was playing. He knew. He knew that and it haunted his every thought, his every night, his every breath. It was selfish, also. The guilt kept creeping in in the worst possible moments — at night, when he could faintly hear Jean's squirms from the other room with Riko; during breakfast, when he could see each of Jean's bruises, even those that were supposed to be hidden, because he knew where to look for them; during practice, when Jean would limp his way through the field to get to his spot.

Gay's a sin.

So he knew it would be easier to remain heterosexual.

And when he doubted it, he could just see the way Riko reacted to each whisper, to each rumour, to each speculation about it. It was easier. It was mandatory, for him. It was important, apparently. He had suffered all his life to get where he was, he could not throw it out for an impulse.

Plus, if word ever came out, the worst share would be Jean's. He could not allow it, not when Jean would have deserved better than that.

I'm glad you're here, Jean had whispered once, underneath his breath. Riko was sleeping, just one bed over, and it was a dangerous game. It was. He still replied, I'd never want to be anywhere else, but he knew he shouldn't have. Not when he could see how Jean looked at him.

Not when that was all he ever wanted. To indulge in the touch, to indulge in the feeling, to tell Jean that he loved him like that as well.

Not when Riko had teased him about it once, telling him that he could have arranged something for him if he wanted to have some fun with him. (He said no, he didn't want to. Sometimes he still wondered if that was the right answer for Riko).

Not when Kevin kept dreaming of him, of an intimacy he craved deep in his bones, but knew he could never have.

Not when it was so dangerous for Jean as well.

He never said anything again about it, Jean picking up on that rather quickly. It hurt, but it was for the best.

When Thea came around, it became a curse in disguise. He had had Riko's blessing to act on it once (he didn't need to know it had happened more than once), and Jean decided to help.

He didn't love Thea per se, nor did Thea love him. It was just a distraction for both of them, each from their own thing. Thea never asked, and Kevin was so glad about that he thought it only fair to never ask anything as well.

They shred notes, every now and then. Jean would be the messanger, for some reason. More than once, Kevin would forget who the love note was supposed to be for when he gave them to him to pass them on. More than once, Kevin selfishly hoped for Jean to read it, call him out on about his game, tell him anything about it that wasn't "Thea said..." or "From Thea", call him out on his bluff.. He never did, but Kevin never stopped hoping. When he wrote "I hope to see you tonight", when he wrote "You were amazing today", when he wrote "This place without you would be unbearable", when he would write "for my backliner" at the top of each note. It was dumb, and it made his heart ache. However, he couldn't help it, so he let it be. If Thea knew, she never said anything.

I need to leave. Four simple words that held thousands of thoughts, of fears, of doubts.

Jean looked at him as if he had grown a couple extra heads. Riko had left barely a minute before, the blood was still pouring from Kevin's hand.

Jean nodded only once, then. If so, be it.

And Kevin indulged once more, come with me. His heart was already breaking, so it would have cost him close to nothing to give Jean the knife to twist in it.

My place is Evermore.

Kevin didn't look at him on the way to the car, too scared to chicken out.

He never regretted leaving the Nest.

He'd forever regret leaving Jean.

He'd learn to live with that.

[seullovesme]

HOW CAN SHE JUST POST THIS ON HER STORY WHEN IM TRYING TO SURVIVE AT SCHOOL 😭😩😩😩😩😮‍💨😮‍💨

my brother dmed me "did u see seulgis story, she cant just be doin this" and i instantly opened insta to see THIS. straight up started giggling and kicking my feet in class i will literally write the dirtiest smut based of this photo

[moncherriees]

OH ?? 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[jo-gakky]

Buncha misc art for personal use and for more keychains-

[fr0ggys]

doing this during the f1 race red flag bc i can

they postponed quali bc of the race to earlier like how the hell did the drivers do that at 7:30am my brain cant even function before 8am

also 5 red flags?? in qualifying wow (it was 5 red flags by crashes from 3 teams 😳 so the fact that williams and aston martin had to work harder to fix the cars)

max out in q2??? he sounded pissed

and checo???

very happy that lando got pole very much deserved but of course george overtook on the first corner 🤦

ALSO THE GRID WAS SO RANDOM? 😭😭😭😭 HOW TF DID YUKI AND ESTEBAN DO SO GOOD

alright now the race was sending me even more mental then the last 2 races

HOW TF DID MCLAREN AND MERCEDES FUCK UP THAT WHY DID THEY PIT

its a good day for alpine if they can keep this up and then maybe i'll give my sister a pat on the back

oop its starting again so i'll finish this with a 😔

just remembered that ollie and oscar got 10 second penalties each for causing a collision charles come collect your kids

HOW CAN THEY LET THEM RACE IN THESE CONDITIONS I SWEAR 5 PEOPLE HAVE GONE OF THE TRACK ALREADY

oh and another safety car

so lance,franco and carlos have crashed 2 today 😭😭😭

liam vs checo part 2

double alpine podium ??

who to vote for driver of the day???

[b3anieperson]

I'm on an Inside Job kick (I'm going insane)

[s7arcr0sser]

"I told him she was his girlfrieeeend"

That scene always amused me so much, i mean with his little love dazed expression and her basically girlboss dipping him it's just.... ugudgudgidg i love them so much. The fact that it's not even the focus of the scene makes it somehow funnier lol

what can i say. Buzz's having the time of his life

[rahrizzle123]

How did I just find out "All The Times" was actually being sung in canon and not just a game things sob

I've been into rhythm doctor for like almost 2 year and I just found this out

[0vergrowngraveyard]

on today's episode of "overgrown does art":

[vvmylove]

Guys that is my hand (real)

He's so bbg😩😩

[wrestletotheground]

guys whatever you do don't imagine matty picking up one of gabbriettes rats and holding it up in front of him and being like 'oh aren't you so cute!' in a baby voice and making little kissy faces to it n maybe giving it a little mwah on the head and patting it's little head and

[kittembird]

WHY DID THEY DECIDE THIS

IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY TIME I'VE ENCOUNTERED A PINK HAIRED EMOTIONALLY BROKEN GIRL BORN ON MAY TWENTY-THIRD, AS KNOWN AS THE 143RD DAY OF THE YEAR;

IN A STEAM GAME WITH ONE OF THE TOP TAGS BEING "PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR";

I'D HAVE TWO NICKELS,

WHICH IS NOT A LOT. BUT IT STRANGE HOW IT HAPPENED TWICE.