#Im disabled and have no money's

[avinryd]

New project time: many mini dice bags

[nyancrimew]

with the end of the month slowly coming up again i am once again unfortunately already broke again and still somewhat in debt, really hoping to get out of that and get a stable enough income to allow me to stay out of debt for the future (i currently make about 1k a month which is very very little for trying to survive in switzerland esp as i currently support myself and a roommate pretty much alone (and currently leaves me somewhat financially dependent on my parents as well which im not gonna be able to be forever), goal for the end of this year is a stable 2k) anything really helps, but the subscription option helps me the most with stability and ability to budget (also i'll hopefully soon manage to give my subscribers actual special benefits).

i hate asking for money so often especially as i haven't put out a new article in quite a while now, but that will change again soon (i have various things in my pipeline and also non text content coming up soon!), and it is the supporters on ko-fi that let me do all the work i do <3

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

[daftpatience]

maked anotger Instagram reel to show some new art off 🥰 journal stickers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm putting more of my interests into my store whee heehee yayay

my store will be reopening soonish with these and some other new merch previews!! I'm excited to share!!

[lycandrophile]

i’m going to be starting a job soon where it looks like almost all of my coworkers/bosses are going to be cis women and i am…terrified. especially since this is the job i’m going to have to get time off from for top surgery.

if there’s one thing i’ve learned over the almost ten years of my transition, it’s that a situation where i’m the only guy there is one where my gender is guaranteed to not be respected. it really feels like far too many cis women realize they’re alone with a trans man and just see it as an opportunity to act out some sort of power fantasy where they get to stick it to the big bad evil men by taking out their anger on the first man they see without the power to fight back. that or they decide you’re “just one of the girls” and will not hear otherwise, but honestly, given where i’m at in my physical transition, i have a feeling the former is more likely.

there was a time when i felt safer around cis women than around cis men, but now it’s just a different kind of threat.

[salt-baby]

I just don't understand people who don't do a COVID test when they get sick

[t4t4t]

Hi I got 84 in the last two weeks, starting to run out of food money. Absolutely no gas money to get anywhere but yknow. Maybe the temp agency I'm talking to will give me some tolerable job tomorrow and I can ask a bus driver to let me on for free. ("Not my fault if you get a ticket." has been a common response.)

venmo: @nora-esther-rose

paypal.me/NoraEstherRose

[isa-ah]

Last Push for Immigration

We're slated to leave at the end of November, and for everything we've managed to save, it's all going to travel expenses. We need help putting a down payment on somewhere to stay!

$455 / $3000

Kofi • Commissions • $ruckusthekid

I'm more than happy to work for it, and any help is appreciated. We're applying for asylum (where might be changing, Portugal resources are getting really slim), & our goal is to help other trans kids out of the country once we've figured out the process.

Thank you so so much for the support we've already received, and I'm honestly really excited to show y'all how it all goes down.

See ya soon!

More information about us, if you want it:

As a trans couple, my husband and I are really feeling the pressure to get out of the United States. We thought we could skim by where we are until we could leave, but he's been goaded by local police as they humiliated and condescended him in a back room for being trans, and I had my ID confiscated for saying male, and upon trying to get it reissued as female, I was kept after hours in the state trooper's office and surrounded by all residing cops left in the station as it was processed. We don't feel safe, if you can believe it.

We've flown by the seat of our pants a lot. We've been kicked out, homeless, manipulated and hurt by a lot of fucking people over the last five years, and we've always managed to make it work. I assume the same can be said for this; even if we don't get the money we need before we leave, we'll figure something out when we get there.

It's not ideal, having to do things like this, but we're in the middle of nowhere, in a food desert, and I have a highly restrictive diet that's really difficult to afford as it is. We've been trying to save for over a year now and only scraped up $2k with help. It's on par, if not over $1k each for us to fly, with our baggage & cats.

I'm doing my fuckin best and I'm willing to work for anything we make here, I'm just floundering to support us and get this together too with how absolutely shithole rancid the economy is.

No one owes us anything, there's no pressure to donate or commission me, but it would be an enormous pressure off of us to get this put together before we leave. Please.

[thedisablednaturalist]

spent 3 hours last night panic searching for doctors to help me with my fibromyalgia. They are all either scams, extremely expensive boutique options (but are actually good apparently, if you have the money), extremely expensive scams, or have never heard of fibromyalgia and kick you out after 15 minutes.

[normalbirb]

the lines still lack a lot of confident strokes, but im starting to get used to the screenless tablet.

[chronicpaingirlie]

so much of day to day life with disability is just being like “im not sure if this is better, but at least it’s different” when trying new ways of doing stuff 😭

[neonbuck]

hey uh. this month is extremely critical for me as i gear up to find a more stable work situation- i'll be going to conventions with the help of a friend to look for a small art business or collective to join. my health has been badly interfering with this. so any support i get within the next 2 weeks will have my eternal gratitude in return

[daftpatience]

one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it

[yippie-madness]

actually and genuinely fuck you if your reslonse to seeing dying people beg for you to help them by answering a fucking ask is to whine that it makes tou uncomfy.

"it makes me feel uncomfortable, it makes me feel guilty" GOOD. GENOCIDE IS MEANT TO BE FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE. MAYBE YOU WOULDN'T FEEL GUILTY IF YOU DIDN'T RESPOND BY IGNORING IT. GET USED TO DEALING WITH DISCOMFORT YOU ABSOLUTE SCUM. THESE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING DYING. IMAGINE SEEING SOMEONE, A LOVED ONE, YOUR KID, YOUR PARENT, YOUR SIBLING, YOUR FRIEND WHOEVER BURN TO DEATH INFRONT OF YOU AND THEN GETTING THIS FUCKING RESPONSE. IMAGINE NOT HAVING THE MONEY TO BUY WATER AND THIS BEING PEOPLES' RESPONSES. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. YOU ARE ABSOLUTE FUCKING SCUM.

"disappointing to see 10 new asks in my inbox just to be the same ask for donations over and over" IMAGINE BEGGING FOR HELP BECAUSE YOU ARE TRAPPED IN NOT A WAR ZONE A GENOCIDE STARVING BECAUSE ALL AID HAS BEEN BLOCKADED AND SOMEONE COMPLAINING THAT ITS "disappointing" TO HAVE TO SEE YOU ASKING FOR HELP. NOT EVEN FOR MONEY JUST FOR SOMEONE TI SHARE YOUR STORY.

"Edit: To all the people reblogging this, I'm sorry you have had to deal with this too. And yes, you can put this in your pinned post! Stay safe <3" DEAL? DEAL WITH DYING PEOPLE BEGGING FOR HELP? FUCK YOU. YOU ARE FUCKING VILE. YOU ARE THE KIND OF PEOPLE THAT MAKE GENOCIDES LIKE THIS HAPPEN, LET THEM GO UNNOTICED.

grow the fuck up. i don't care that your probably like 13, you can do SOMETHING. you can share posts, you can email representatives, you can sign petitions, you can just talk about. but now. the idea of other people suffering makes you feel too uncomfy and too guilty to bother.

and dont you dare go calling yourself an anti zionist if your like this you coward.

[glittergroovy]

yeah yeah I think about making kink based blinkie templates but they're on a longgggg list of ones ive been meaning to make for years. the being broke and ill and homeless thing hampers the amount of art im able to make as well just a bit

[gremzon]

I genuinely can't stand it anymore, the whole "get a job" as a comeback, the whole shaming people who are unemployed, shaming people who live in their parents basements. Can we stop that already? "Get a hobby" is a lot better anyway.