#Im crying girl i meant PERSPECTIVE

[bedforddanes75]

OMG NEW THEME NEW THEME 🚨‼️ IT'S SO NICE THE COLOUR MMMMM VERY YUMMY 💚💚💚

AAAAAA THANK U SO MUCH!!!!!!! green save me... BUT THANK UUUU!!!!!!! its the Georgedanielism seeping its way into my theme. thats the colour my brain lights up when i think of him

[ax-y10]

promise

in which; wilbur comes home late and exhausted and brushes past his daughter

about; dad!bur au, so many different perspectives, angst to fluff, i wrote this in two hours very late at night so it's not the best, kisses, fighting, crying, wilbur being bad bad, wilbur ignoring your daughter, swearing, happy ending yayay, gender neutral, i think y/n is used once, anything along these lines

word count; 1.7k

taglist; @phxntomsdusk, @pheliiaa (ask to be added)

you heard the front door creak open, and you sent your daughter down to greet him. you stayed in her room, however, overthinking.

he was home late again from the studio, writing and figuring out songs for the new album. he was working hard, but was starting to forget about who lay at home, waiting for him.

you and your daughter made good use of time during the day when he wasn’t there. making little animals out of playdoh, making dinner for wilbur when he got home, or making silly stories with each other. however, it didn’t feel right.

it didn’t feel like when wilbur had promised to spend every waking moment with you and your daughter. he had promised that if it came to it, he would give up lovejoy, give up streaming, give up everything, to spend all of eternity with you both. but now, he wasn’t keeping the promise fulfilled.

you were cut off by the urgent footsteps of your daughter, and a very teary-eyed girl standing in the doorway. scooping her up, you cradle her against your chest and swing her back and forth, trying to cheer her up.

eventually, you had to break her walls and ask what was wrong.

“what happened? why’re you upset?”

“daddy…”

she was cut off by a loud sob erupting from her throat. she was just so heartbroken

“what did daddy do, sweetheart? do i need to go talk to him?”

it was a great effort trying to get a reason out in between her sobs and shaky breaths, but eventually, she got something out.

“daddy- he- he walked past me. i said hello and tried to hug him, but- but he- he didn’t say hello back. i offered the cupcakes and his- his dinner to him, but he just walked into his room. he just ‘hmphed’ and… ignored me.”

you were heartbroken by this point. he had left his daughter in tears, and his lover heartbroken, but you couldn’t keep sulking with your daughter.

cut to now. you were standing in your shared room with wilbur, arguing back and forth. stupid arguments spewed from his mouth, and sounds of disbelief spewed from yours. you were frustrated from his pure ignorance and bullshit excuses.

“i’m tired! do you not see that! you have to realise i don’t have all the time in the world to be with the people i love most! for fucks sake, you give no one a break, do you!”

each word spilled from his mouth shattered your heart. he didn’t understand.

“all you are worried about is me! all you are worried about is our daughter! all you are worried about is the little stupid things that do not need to have your mind occupied!”

he shouted more and more silly things, clearly not realising what he was saying.

“but that’s what we’re meant to be worried abou-“

“i don’t care! you need to stop! you need to calm the fuck down, sit the fuck down, and stop worrying. i get it, our daughter is very much upset, but im here, and im tired!”

why was he worried about himself?

“you quite simply ignored our daughter as soon as you opened that door! she offered everything her little mind could think of! the cupcakes we made today, the dinner we made for you, she said hello and tried to hug you and you walked past her, groaned, and ignored her! you’ve left her in tears in her bedroom, absolutely heartbroken, because of you! are you fucking brain dead, wilbur!”

he wasn’t going to deny that your words hurt him more than his hurt you. he was only just realising how much he was away from you and his daughter. how much time was spent without the smiling faces of the little love bugs that he leaves at home each day. he didn’t know what had gotten into hi-

“what happened to ‘i’ll give up everything. i’ll give up lovejoy, streaming, ill give up everything, to spend all of eternity with you’! you aren’t here anymore! you’re either not at home or you’re off with the fairies! what happened to us! are we not important! what happened to your family, wilbur! you must be fucking stupid, you bastard!”

that was the last thing he needed before he fell onto the bed and let the floodgates open. he hadn’t realised how much time he had spent away from you both. he was always worried about the release date of the next ep, or always occupied by something else. it must have been months since he truly recognised the warm smile of his daughter or the honey-sweet laugh of you. he didn’t realise that he was slipping down the same rabbit hole every one he knew was falling down. he needed to be present.

you were both fuming. you were pissed and he was frustrated.

it took him a good five minutes to register that you were gone. that you hadn’t offered him a hug, or a kiss, or even something as simple as a head rub. you had just walked off…

he immediately stood up and almost ran to his daughters room. he looked everywhere. you weren’t in there. you weren’t in the guest room, or the lounge room, or the bathroom, or even the kitchen. you were literally gone.

he was about to break down again, lose himself to panic, until the soft, wet laughs from his daughter reached his ears.

he found you both outside, your daughter laying in the grass, you tickling her. she had dried tear tracks on her face and red puffy eyes, you with the same. god she looked like you-

until the day he dies, he will never believe that your daughter looks like him. she has your hair, your eyes, your nose, your mouth. she has your beauty.

he sat down next to you after your daughter saw him and her smile dropped. he’d done so wrong-

“can i apologi-“

“wilbur go inside.”

“darling, plea-“

“wilbur.”

he stood once again and stepped inside. he grabbed his dinner and sat at the kitchen island. he let his eyes roam over every photo of you, of your daughter, of you and your daughter, of him and your daughter, of all of you-

he ate his dinner before it went cold, the small bowl of mac n’ cheese and mashed potato swallowed down before he trudged back to your shared room. he laid down and fell asleep almost instantly. he didn’t want the guilt to set in and ruin anything else.

meanwhile, you and your daughter were still laughing and rolling around in the grass. just before wilbur came out wanting to apologise, you had just calmed her down from her sobs and cries. she had voiced so many small sentences that were so incomprehensible, the sentence that you did catch was so heart-wrenching, you started crying again.

“do you and daddy still love me?”

you sobbed and endured shaky breaths but you got through it just for her.

“yes, of course, pumpkin. please don’t ever think we don’t love you.”

a shower and fresh set of pyjamas later, your daughter was asleep in her room, and you were pacing the lounge room, figuring out what to do.

do you sleep on the couch? do you sleep with wilbur? do you sleep in your daughters room? you simply didn’t know.

settling for your shared bedroom, you make your way to where wilbur was fast asleep, small breaths moving the curls on his head and the slight twitch in his arm from where you were absent.

you crawl under the sheets behind him, ignoring the slight hiccup in his sleep, and falling asleep with your head buried in his sleep shirt. the faint scent of cologne and rain luring you into sleep.

you woke to wilbur’s calloused fingers running across your face and through your hair, and finding rest on your shoulders. his slight bed head and tired face making him even prettier than usual. he’ll always dent that he looks pretty in the mornings, claiming that he looks weird with his messy hair or that his breath stinks, but everything is always brushed off with a wide smile from you and a kiss placed under his eye.

but as soon as the warm feeling came, it was pulled away as soon as he realised you had woken up. he thought that you were still angry at him, that you would get angry at him for being so close to you after last night. but he was surprised when he felt you move and pull his hand back to you face.

he continued his small gestures across your face, staring at your sleepy face maybe just a little longer than he should be, considering how horrible of a person he was last night. how absolutely self-centred he was, how he ignored your daughte-

“stop worrying, wil. i’m not angry.”

“i’m so sorry, for last nigh-”

“sweet, don’t apologise right now.”

“just let me, please?”

when he was met with a small nod, he continued.

“i’m so so so sorry about last night. i don’t know what had gotten in to me that made me ignore the two most beautiful things i call mine, but i feel absolutely horrible. i should not have said anything that i said. i shouldn’t have been so self-centred, i shouldn’t have ignored our daughter, i shouldn’t have argued with you. i’m sorry. i really am. and im sorry for not sticking by that promise. i promise that you and our daughter are going to be my number one priority from here on out. i love you.”

he finished his apology with a kiss to your forehead, to your nose, and finally to your lips. he threaded his hands back into your hair, and pulled off his shirt and gave it to you to keep you warm.

soon, your little ball of happiness walked into the room, laughing at the sight of you in wilbur’s shirt and him tickling you. you all calmed down eventually, and let your daughter climb into bed with both of you.

wilbur immediately smothered her in tight hugs and ticklish kisses pressed against her face. he apologised to her for ignoring her and made sure that she believed him before he dropped the subject.

you all spent the entire day doing things together. making playdoh animals, with wilbur. making dinner, with wilbur. making up silly stories, with wilbur. he was included in everything you did.

[mourninglamby]

I've been struggling with my own art lately but. I'm trying to push through and draw some Angies special just for you (will likely send those privately rather than post them... anxiety). Your art and your perspectives on things and characters have captivated and comforted me and taught me so so much, and helped me work through and process a lot of things I'd struggled with. I can't wait to learn more abt Cadaver Girls, and any and all of ur projects that follow...

Also I rlly hope your day gets better.. Wishing you only the best 🫶🍓

holy skoop... stoppp ur gonna make me cry wtf .. im so happy my work has meant something to you, forever very grateful whenever i get messages like this, it makes me feel less crazy ! thank you dear heart 🫶🫶

if you do draw my squeeplets i would just loooove to see them ^.^ and if not them, i hope youre able to draw somethin again soon ! struggling with motivation/art block/etc is the worst so i feel u <3

[yenqa]

SHE PLAYS BASS! (teaser)

READ HERE!

synopsis : prince sunghoon had a boring life. never had he ever gone out with his friends or fallen in love like a normal teenager (not like he liked the idea of falling in love). instead, he was forced to prepare for when he would be crowned king. but when your band, le sserafim is invited to play at the royal palace. his perspective on love would change all because of you.

featuring : le sserafim, hyung line of enhypen

warnings : reader uses she/her, swearing, angst, parents w broken relationships, crying, kissing, reader wears makeup for performance, sunghoon is REALLY bad at conversations, bad parents, will update as writing!

wc : teaser is 0.97k but i expect like 5-7k words but idk bc this one seems longer LMFAO

pairing : prince!sunghoon x afab!reader

release date : idk actually… maybe mid/end march?

taglist : open! comment or send an ask !!

a/n : ok long fic num 2 🫶🫶 im not as nervous for this one but we’ll see!

cut glitch :)

NO CELESTIAL WAS ALWAYS YOUR FAVORITE SONG TO PERFORM.

you enjoyed playing the guitar riffs and singing until your lungs went out. you enjoyed the small portion of choreography you had and the energy it brought to the crowd. but as much as you enjoyed the melody itself, you enjoyed the lyrics even more. 

to you, no celestial was about breaking the standards and just being yourself (ex. lyrics “angel-like perfection, bye” in first verse). but the song also meant that you can’t be perfect, and to not be afraid when someone realizes that. no celestial gave you a sense of freedom, like nothing else mattered but the sounds of your voices. and you would do anything to have that freedom.

well, it was the kind of freedom you already had until the attention’s eye was on you. now, you couldn’t even meet up with an old friend before someone turned it into a dating rumor. it was hard to ignore those rumors and continue on, but that was what you had to do to make it far.

and, you weren’t sure if it was worth it until now.. staring in shock as you open the intricate blue envelope decorated with gold lining. on the back, is text stating “The Royal Palace”. Yunjin squeals in excitement as you carefully pull out the paper, reading the contents hidden inside.

Dear, Source Music

It has come to our attention that your band, Le Sserafim has been spiking in popularity in our kingdom. As the Prince’s birthday is coming soon, we would like to formally invite Le Sserafim to perform at the Royal Palace on December 8th to entertain our guests. Please arrive at 3:30 pm or before as you’ll be performing at 4:15. All food and drinks will be provided for you, outfits will also be provided and we’ll have to schedule an appointment to get some measurements. Please tell us what kind of concept to go for, and we’ll do our best to achieve that. We trust that the band will perform well as always. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Sim Jaeyun

you look at your members in disbelief as they do the same before kazuha breaks the silence.

“we’re going to perform at the royal palace!” she excitedly squeals, as the room explodes into excited laughter, deciding what songs will be performed.

“well we have to perform fearless! it’s our hit song,” yunjin begs, trying to get nods of approval from the leader of the group.

chaewon sighs, looking back at yunjin, “we’ll have to see how many songs we can perform and if they want us to perform any particular ones. we can ask our boss at our next meeting. he’ll probably have all the details we need,” she smiles warmly at her members, stretching out her arms and engulfing them in a warm hug.

“wait- when’s our next meeting?”

🎸

no celestial was not on the setlist. nor did your boss even think about performing it.

as the stubborn girl you are, you immediately asked why no celestial wasn’t on the list, and your boss laughs at you. stating that the palace didn’t choose the song and it wasn’t the right place for it. you thought that the song would be able to be performed anywhere (except, maybe a funeral but that’s not the point) but it apparently went against palace rules. it was stupid to you, isn’t that what the song’s telling you not to do? follow the rules?

you were surprised the great mermaid was picked, considering the amount of ‘foul language’ in the song. but since the prince was turning 21 (or 20 you couldn’t remember) you were sure a swear word wouldn’t hurt him.

it wasn’t until late at night when it hit you, you were performing for the prince in a month.

SUNGHOON WAS NOT EXCITED ABOUT HIS BIRTHDAY

all the decorations, outfits, and people were too much for him.

yes, he loved having the party, but having every single person he’s had any interaction with invited? just seemed over the top. he wished only his closest friends to come, but every year his parents would try so hard to marry him off to some random girl his age, which always ruined his mood (and his plan to have a small birthday party). sunghoon knew this year wouldn’t be different, so he didn’t look forward to it, simple as that.

when his parents revealed they were inviting a band to perform on his birthday. his lips had slightly upturned. would it be tomorrow by together? or seventeen? maybe even red velvet? his face immediately dropped when he heard the name. who the hell was le sserafim?

after he was dismissed sunghoon immediately looked up the band that was recently introduced to him, playing the first few songs that popped up.

out of the seven songs he listened to, he liked the song “sour grapes” the most. sunghoon didn’t look much into the lyrics of songs, as a song was just a melody he sang along to. but the rare times sunghoon did (which was when he was listening to sour grapes), he didn’t understand most of the lines. what did they mean by love is sour grapes? because to him, he didn’t think love resembled any kind of fruit.

well, what did love resemble to him? sunghoon didn’t know. after seeing his parents grow apart over the years, sunghoon wasn’t one to ask about the subject. and nor did he ever want to be.

the small number of lyrics he understood, made it even more obvious why love wasn’t that appealing to him. his reason was it would always end in heartbreak, which is why he vowed to himself to never fall in love. but deep down, he knew it was something he could never admit.

he was scared.

[fipindustries]

super sad super raw break up feelings under the cut, feel free to read if you want

here we are once again, for the third time in a row that a trans girl breaks my heart.

the worst part is always ground zero.

i want to find a life partner, i want to find that person i can live with in the same house and build a life together with and grow old next to them.

every time i meet someone it felt like winning the lottery. it felt like i somehow magically found that one person in the world that could get me. that could tolerate me. that i could click with. i felt like i had that one shot and i had better not screw it up.

maybe im a hopeless old fashioned romantic with an outdated view of relationships but i want a marriage.

but she wasnt it, she couldnt be it. i never really had a shot. it was just not meant to be.

the worst part is being back at ground zero.

is knowing that they are not there any more. is knowing that i am alone once again, with the ensuing fear that every time it happens it will get harder to stop being alone. is the ensuing fear that i wont be able to find anyone better, that i wont be able to find anyone that can fill that void again. it the exaustion that comes with knowing that if i ever find someone else again i will have to start from scratch, i will have to go one more time through the whole rigamarole of telling them about my life, learning about their life. building trust from zero, building a life. how can it feel real again after it failed so many times. it felt like the real deal so many times before and it never ended up being it. it makes one despair of ever finding it.

is just more baggage turning me into more spoiled goods

i want to have what i had but i cant see myself having it with anyone else, i cant bring my self to try and build it up again with some stranger. my biggest fear in life is not to die, but to die alone and every time im back here again that feel becomes all the more real.

the worst part is finding my self back in ground zero.

two times i tried to build something serious and long lasting with someone else and in both occasions that person got bored with me, got over me, couldnt bring themselves to love me the way i wanted to be loved. they changed in some way, or i changed in some way, and whatever they used to feel for me got dulled and weak.

am i asking too much here? are my demands unreasonable? am i being entitled, do i have ridiculous standards? why do they people i love eventually grow distant, eventually grow tired of being touched, why do i reach a point where i have to ask them to spend time with me and they only wearily agree to do it as a favor to me not because they want to? why do i keep finding myself in situations where i have to keep hearing my partner say "no" to favors i ask for and me having to graciously brush it off as if its no big deal and of course they are fully within their rights to say no and, no, it doesnt bother me at all that is the 6th time theyve done it in a row despite me doing everything they ask for. why do i keep finding myself feeling alone despite being in a relationship. why do i keep finding myself in a situation where i feel like i am imposing on my partner merely by asking to spend time with them? is this normal? am i doing something wrong here?

not going to lie, this last relationship was a bit of a mess, there was a lot of arguments, a lot of crying, a lot of little insatisfactions and things not fitting quite right here and there and lots of little incompatibilities that kept popping up. and yet this is not relief, she was perfect all the same, she was great, she was amazing, she was fantastic. she was funny and so incredibly bloody smart and so so silly. and she was so challenging, she would bring a perspective that was so starkly in conflict with everything i believed in, she made me question so many fundamental things about the way i view life and philosophy and art. she was so fucking cute, she was downright adorable, specially when she insisted that she wasnt, and she was so jaded and so raw and weird and insane and uncomfortable and sinister and unpredictable. she was so full of words and of creativity and imagination and so impressively cultured. she was dark and intense and she would glimmer like hidden embers beneath ash covered obsidian.

she was fucking crazy man, she was a crazy bitch, that is why i loved her so much.

and now she is gone.

[riverofrainbows]

The hands down funniest thing to happen to me on testosterone is that my body hair is going blond.

all my life i had unusually strong and dark body hair "for a girl", which was criticised and policed, and people tried to force me to remove it, of course.

and now that im on t, im going fucking blond. this is so hilarious to me (in the "dont know if youre crying or laughing" way). the same people who have been and keep telling me that my body hair is too noticeable and dark, also reacted neagtively to the perspective of me growing even more of it on t, and arent particularly excited about me being on t and dont think it will make me actually masculine, now have their wish go true by t making me grow a fuckton of body hair lighter in colour.

i actually hate that it is brighter now, i wanted to be more noticeably hairy to spite them.

and to be clear, i am still noticeably hairier than ever before. but in a different way than when i was a teen, than before i was forced on the pill as the only health management made available to me for my intersex body, that basically dehaired me over time.

i dont actually hate my hair, one of my big sources of dysphoria has been that not having the correct hormones growing up meant that i wasnt the physical clone of my father i was supposed to be, but now i turn into that more and more, and he is blond too, so is my head hair colour, what else could i be.

(im an eldest son in a strong line of eldest sons being exact clones of their fathers, who got basically everything else from him already and already looked a lot like him. just not enough. that is what i mean with “the clone i was supposed to be”.)

biggest things i got from my mom is her mental health issues and her hair genes. but i went to therapy and the hair thing is also changing now. fuck her honestly, she was initially really supportive and now she tries to keep me from being the man i am and thinks t wont actually make me look masculine, and she doesnt get to.

look mom, you got your wish. isnt my body hair so much prettier now on t? i think i look beautiful

[burning-sol]

cleaning up files and coming across a pair of ocs i made.. i really do just listen to songs and come up with an entire music video, so like damn? ig lemme ramble about them.

after listening to backstabber sped up i rlly just made two teenage girls who like. basically they hook up at some point but they sort of start becoming more distant with one another, until at some point girl B finds out that girl A has been talking about her behind her back and starting a whole bunch of rumours, which leads to the situation blowing up and the pair of them start bullying each other. the most of the mv is meant to be from girl B's perspective which, you know, its incredibly fucked for your partner to seemingly one day decide they HATE you and go out of their way to make your life hell.

girl B is like 'why the fuck are you so obsessed me??' because lets be honest the hate obsession do be going quite far, its been months of a back and forth between them. one day theyre alone and girl B confronts the other, and the both of them start arguing. girl B is like 'girl you're such a backstabber!!' but suddenly girl A responds the same claiming that girl B is the backstabber. and after getting bullied for so long she's like, fuck YOU, you dont get to tell me im the one who hurt you after you treated me like shit!!

girl B actually goes to get physical with the other and girl A just involuntarily gets so scared that it stops her. girl A is absolutely balling her eyes out and that's girl B's ex girlfriend crying so of course she's gonna get concerned. WELL THE TURN TABLES. girl B didnt think she'd done anything wrong, but it turns out that when she'd gone around telling her friends what was going on between the two of them, the news got around and got back to her parents. so all this time girl A was just acting out because girl B had fucked up her home life.

some details is that girl A used to dress more loosely like girl B, but she started to dress more proper after the horrors because she was trying to convince her parents it was just a misunderstanding and she's normal she swears!! overall its such a fucked up situation where none of this should have happened and both of them deeply regret what they'd done. so the mv is coming to a close and the girls walk home together. girl A obviously doesnt wanna go home, and girl B is like "hey, fuck it, lets go somewhere else for a bit, who cares about that noise".

they wander off and they sit together laughing, girl B pulling a pair of scissors out her school bag and messily cutting girl A's hair. there's no one here, not their friends, their teachers, their families, its just them in that moment. they both go quiet as they sit with one another. like, things are fucked. in fact, girl A cutting her hair is likely going to have repercussions. but they have each other, and thats what matters, what matters is that theyre there for one another.

anyways YEAH thats ur dose of fucked up yuri for you!!!! 👍👍👍 😁 normal and happy times!!!!!!!!!!!

[khodorkovskaya]

After I split with my ex, it took me a while to get my head around it, like justifying to myself that I wasnt in the wrong etc andthat the way he was treating me was wrong and I shouldn't feel guilty about breaking it off etc.... I ended up trying to do like a 3rd point of view perspective thing... so like, I would explain everything that happened and how I felt and then try to see it from another point of view so like this other point of view would go. . "So you didnt reply to his message within an hour because you were literally in a college class which he knew beforehand, and he took the huff and wouldnt speak to you for over day as punishment?? You shouldn't not feel bad about ending it" obvs I had more extreme examples too lol but I dony wanna delve into them much it's like baggage ahaha

But afterwards, like when i was over him and had no feelings towards him etc, i thought i was fine and then discovered i wasnt... so like i could meet someone and really like them and find them attractive etc, and their personality and vibe really well and when I started to fancy this guy I was like omg yes thisnis nice and he acc seems a lot nicer than my ex woop woop. But then as soon I started to think about being in an actual romantic relationship with him I couldnt, I felt physically sick and anxious??? I literally couldn't face the idea of a relationship being like my previous one and I realised that while I was over him, I had some other issues as a result of the relationship I had to deal with instead.

I did get over it though

I've actually forgotten the point I was making with this message now so I do apologise for that sorry

But I thought he hadnt cared too, like he would delete every single pic of us literally within an hour of us breaking up.... he blocked me, and things he didnt block me on, he would post stuff like "good riddance" and stuff that basically made out he didnt care and it was all me etc and that I meant nothing to him....... he would add all these girls and shared their photos with hearts etc....

Anyway like a few months later he literally tried to get in touch saying he was sorry and he missed me and thought about me everyday etc and couldnt get over me

I ignored him though and that was that

I guess this is just a bit of a sharing story, I hope it helps in some way????? Sorry if it doesnt though.......

yeah, the looking at what happened from an outsider's perspective is a really good method. makes things a lot clearer and easier to see. and yeah thanks for sharing your story, it makes me feel less alone <3

but yeah, im definitely scared of falling in love again. but i really hope that the next time it happens, im gonna be more mature and sensible and things will be clearer for me. i mean obviously that's gonna be the case cos i fell in love with B when i was 17 and even now things would be different. but the thought of being in a relationship any time soon makes me very anxious. i think my next serious relationship is gonna be in like 5 years from now. for now the vibe is celibacy all the way!

i wonder how i would feel if B reached out to me again. bc i know it's very stupid of me, but it makes me sad that he didn't try to get me back, you know? like he didn't fight for me. he tried a little bit and maybe i have high expectations, but it didn't feel like it was enough. a deep dark side of me wishes he suffered more. and don't get me wrong, he did suffer. i left him without a warning and i still feel terribly guilty about that. the night i left he stood outside my parents' balcony and shouted my name and thinking about that makes my skin crawl. i feel awful. but at the same time something about that was so satisfying bc it felt like he had finally acknowledged me and my feelings.

but idk. maybe im spiteful and vengeful. and sadistic. but i fantasise about him begging me on his knees to take him back and crying and sleeping by my front door and following me around like a puppy dog asking for forgiveness. the last time we saw each other and had sex i strangled him, wishing i could actually choke him to death. i wanted to see despair in his eyes and absolute submission to me. like finally, after all the suffering i had endured, finally i could have full control over him and make him mine. you know?

but he never fought for me. and from a sensible perspective, that's good. he accepted my rejection and left me alone. and that kind of things requires great discipline, so good for him i guess. im thankful for that. but from like a twisted toxic perspective, i wish he'd message me saying that he misses me.

[fecundaratis]

i just need to type out everything i remember about being 4 right now. sorry.

tw for csa, csem, sex trafficking? (unsure if i could call it this, but it seems pretty clear i guess), gross things about human waste

i was around 4 years old when the abuse began.

im not entirely sure how it started. i suppose it just started with the baby sitter my parents found.

it was an at-home day care, lots of children in someones home, with a space specifically for the kids to be, a woman watched us.

i dont recall if the man lived there, or if he just came by every day. i remember we would get excited when he came. he could push us all on the swing set.

at some point, the adults started blaming me for every misbehavior of the other children. i think they encouraged the other children to do so as well.

its not like they would beat me. but at a certain point, i started being in time out more often than i was playing with the other kids.

the first instance of abuse i remember, i had some kind of rash. i couldnt be around the other children. chickenpox or a reaction to penicillin. so i was in some tiny bedroom. i think it was meant to be a small office or something, but theyd put a twin sized bed in there. and thats where i was, all day. alone in the dark. the man came in and put itch cream on me. thats the first instance of molestation i can recall.

from there things escalated. a lot of it is a blur, as should be expected maybe, since it was so long ago.

i dont know how frequently i was abused. my parents would ask me about what had happened at daycare, but i would start hysterically crying, or completely shut down. either way, i told them nothing. they assumed it was just because i was in trouble all the time. i was ashamed of being so bad for the baby sitter.

i remember at some point, i started being taken to the main bedroom in the back of the house. there was a camera set up in there. i know they took pictures of me. maybe videos. i dont really know. i almost recall seeing some of the pictures.

he didnt just take photos of me being abused. he also regularly took pictures around the day care, of us kids playing, for the parents. my expressions range from dead-eyed to exuberant.

at some point, i was taken somewhere. a duplex in what i believe was the city. for a long time, all i remembered was walking up to the door, and being let inside. then, i remembered coming out, seeing myself in a 3rd person perspective as i watched my body being walked to the car id been brought in. recently, i remembered the inside of the house. the living room, and the short hallway i entered. a few days ago, i remembered the rest.

i was brought into a sickly green room. i cant tell if the walls are painted that shade of pastel green, or if theres a mercury light bulb in the overhead light. it lends the whole room a sort of eerie, uncanny effect. its obvious no children lived in this room. there was a twin sized bed in the far left corner, no side table, no lamp, some scant wall decorations to make it appear as if it were a genuine bedroom. there was a mirror in the other far corner. some toys placed on the floor in a small radius, what seems to be an attempt to appear messy in a childish way, without actually being in the way.

i was told to lay down on the bed, and not move until someone came in. i did as i was told, laying down on the thin mattress without even taking my shoes off. at this age, i wore "pretty dresses" exclusively, if i had a say in it. i always wanted to wear a pretty dress. that day, i was wearing one of my favorites. it was red and had lace on it. i was wearing socks with lace trim, and i think some mary jane-like play shoes.

when the first man came in, he knelt down next to me. he told me that my baby sitters had told him i was a very good girl. he asked me if i was going to be a good girl for him. i dont know if i responded.

when he took off my clothes, starting with my shoes, i started thinking about my favorite fairy tales. this was something i had gotten really good at, going away in my brain and thinking about other things. imagining other things. i was so good at it, it was like my eyes turned off, and i could only see what i imagined, could only feel what i imagined.

i was replaying the story of the little match girl, a very sad fairy tale where a little girl selling matches lights each and every one of her last 3 before she freezes to death. she imagines a beautiful christmas tree, a delicious meal, and, most enticingly, her kindly grandma that beckons her toward the afterlife. the little girl dies, and her body is discovered the next day, frozen solid, but with a peaceful smile.

this fairy tale was a fixation of mine at this age. i was always asking my mom to read me the little match girl. we had a compendium of fairy tales by hans christian andersen, but i always wanted to hear the little match girl.

i remember several other men coming in, but i remember less about what happened with them. i remember my baby sitters re-entering the room, dressing me, and taking me to the car, where the memory continues in 3rd person.

i was really shocked when i remembered this the other day. i was trying desperately to go to sleep, when the memory started playing again, as it had been for several weeks at that point. but it continued. my mind started screaming "stop! dont touch that!" like i was a child about to put my hand on a hot stove. but i couldnt stop the memory. i woke my partner up in a panic, and recounted the memory as it played out before my eyes.

i have no idea how frequently this happened. if it ever happened again. i dont know how my parents didnt realize something awful had happened to me. i dont understand how they could justify the reaction i was having as only being because i had gotten in trouble.

all of the children at this daycare had some level of incontinence. i think thats easy enough to write off if the children are young enough. one girl there was impossible to potty train. she only ever wanted to use diapers. after going there, i started regressing as well. i started hiding wads of toilet paper in my dresser so i could stuff it in my underwear, so i could still pee in them. hard to remember if this was happening during potty training, or if i got worse at it.

there was another little girl there that had nervous accidents all the time. there was another little boy who would take poop out of his pull ups, and smear it on the walls, or hide it in the mega bloks. somehow i got in trouble for both of those things, it was supposed that i goaded both into doing such repugnant behaviors.

the nervous little girl had a twin brother. one day he tripped her, and she fell on a carpet stable, cutting her nose and making her face bleed. all the children blamed me for it, of course.

some of these things i had forgotten. some of them i didnt forget, but i made such a habit of not thinking about them that thinking about them was shocking. some of these things i had remembered, and assimilated perfectly into my life, to explain why i am the way i am. upon examining a more complete picture, i feel... i dont know. sometimes i want to scream. sometimes, i feel completely numb. sometimes, i dont even believe it. like i said, i had an extremely vivid imagination as a child. it could be that i imagined it then, or now, and i have completely blown this out of proportion.

i dont know what to do with myself now. i find myself asking my partner several times a day if it makes sense to them, or if they really think it could have happened, and they say yes, every time. they believe me unquestioningly, tell me that based on our lives together and knowing me for as long as they have, it all makes perfect sense. its a relief, but part of me cant help thinking theyre just trying to humor me, because telling me the truth--that i imagined it all, theres no way such a thing could have happened to me, theres too many inconsistencies, and also if such a terrible thing had happened it would have been noticed, and the perpetrators would have been caught, and i would have physical evidence--would destroy my ego beyond repair. i guess i dont really know what they would get out of dating someone whos ego depends entirely on having been abused as a child.

anyway. i want to tell everyone. i want to keep it a secret forever. i want to burn that house to the ground and everyone inside. i want to take this secret to the grave. i dont know what to do

[alotogifs]

A League of Their Own Cast Live Tweets 1x08 Pt.2

Abbi: I had a hard time keeping it together in this scene with Kate Berlant. Will: Hahahaha. Kate Berlant for president.

Will: Oh boy the song! We were all very nervous. Kelly has a beautiful voice.

D’arcy:😍😍😍 #Delucathebazooka  😍😍😍 Will: It is heartbreaking to see Jo in a Blue Sox uniform. It felt like something was wrong on set! Abbi: If you notice, some of the music is not from the same period that the show takes place-- this was very intentional! We wanted to use music that felt rebellious like our characters + that meant jumping ahead in time a bit. 

Will: This is the real hurt for Bert and Toni. Abbi: "For some of us, safe isn't safe" Will: "For some of us safe isn't safe." Follow @/butchythings who plays Bert!

Will: GODAMMIT CHERYL Abbi: This scene right here between Chanté Adams and Gbemi Ikumelo THIS SCENE and these two. One of the most dynamic and real and nuanced and deepest friendships on TV. I might be biased, but it's just true. Chanté: This was Gbemi’s last scene of the season. It was hard. While most of us were going back to LA and NY, Gbemi was going back to London and that broke my heart. I tried to get her to move next door so we could see each other everyday and raise our kids together but she couldn’t 😭 Gbemi: Still tryna make it happen 😭😭 Will: This is the scene in the whole show that makes me cry the most, because you can see them realizing they've never said goodbye before. Chanté Adams and Gbemi Ikumelo are geniuses. Will: The score from Zach and Nick and Deantoni here is just amazing.

Abbi: I love Lupe + Roberta Colindrez.

Will: There is a story about how this speech was filmed. HOW DO YOU WANT THIS TO END? Abbi kills it here. Will: Okay. I'll tell you the story! We shot the reaction half of this scene on the field, and then it started raining. So Abbi had to shoot her side of it a week later, on a platform in the middle of the street outside Toni's house. Will: She is yelling at the crew mostly. It was amazing. She's so talented. Will: Rob the bank! Has become our unofficial motto for the process of making the show too.

Will: Okay. Them carrying around here is a real story from a softball team. And it came to the show courtesy of ABBI'S DAD. Who is now in charge of finding the end of every season.   Abbi: My dad gave me the end of the Peaches story here. Still cannot believe it. I called him one night, stuck. He told me this --It is inspired by a real story from women's college softball. Thanks Big Al. Love you. 

Will: Barnstorming is such a huge part of baseball history, and Marquise does such a beautiful job bringing it to life as Red [Barnstorming refers to sports teams that travel to various locations, usually small towns, to stage exhibition matches.] Will: GODDAMMIT CHERYL

Will: WE TECHNICALLY LOST D’arcy: how many times have y’all watched this finale? Abbi: Dale Dickey gets me every damn time. What a masterful actor. D’arcy: WE! HAVE! TO! TAKE! CARE! OF! OUR! OWN! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ oh Dale & Kelly 😍 Will: WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF OUR OWN with Beverly kills me. "war bonds" was an improvised callback.

Abbi: Ohh boy. This is prob my favorite scene with my girl D’arcy Carden The Peaches come between them... just like the world.   D’arcy: LOL IM CRYING Will: Abbi and D’arcy just kill me in this scene. They both come from comedy backgrounds and look at what they are doing. We are so lucky. 

Will: Seeing Max in uniform killed me too. Abbi: Max finally in her own uniform! The fucking best. 

Will: Repeating GO GET A THING was an improv from Kelly and Roberta. Abbi: Always... go get a thing.

Will: Abbi wrote "you changed my whole life" "you opened me up again" and it made me cry when I first read it. 

Abbi: Thanks so much for watching with us tonight and in general. What a treat. Will: Thanks for watching with us! Wow. There's a lot of you! Will: This is a show for everyone told through perspectives you don't usually hear universal stories from. Thanks for helping get the word out! Will: WE ARE ALL FRUIT NOW

[lifeofamarauder]

Dark Prince 2

Mattheo Riddle x Odette 

Part 2 <3 (it gets more spicy as we go but you first need to SUFFER)

Word count- 1,487 words

Note- I wrote this not from Y/n perspective but let me know if you want me to post that version as well if you prefer it! I tried not to use too many descriptors for Odette, other than her house and family names.

.

.

.

I woke up to the sound of rain hitting the windows next to me. I looked out and saw it was starting to get dark. The library was nearly empty of students, save for a few stragglers and the book I'd started was splayed out in front of me.

To my surprise, on its left stood a hot chocolate. I couldn't help but wonder if That Boy had brought it to me. I decide this is impossible and figure it could always have been one of the castles many house elves. I'd formed a bit of a bond with them when I joined a Gryffindor my year and a few others to protest for their rights, so it's not unlikely for them to have brought it. It certainly feels more likely that they would have brought it rather than the ever mysterious Mattheo whom I’d just met.

I picked up my books and the hot chocolate and started sipping on it as I walked past the many shelves, planning to sneak down to the kitchens and grab some food to bring upstairs so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone. I was so focused on not spilling the rich chocolate on my books that I almost didn't notice the Slytherin girl coming straight towards me with a sickly sweet smile.

"Hi! Im Astoria. You're Odette, right? Ravenclaw?"

I looked down at my obviously blue robes and back up to her.

"Yes...?"

"Right. Pleasure." She held out her hand and her face gave me the impression it was anything but a pleasure for her to be talking to me.

"I heard about your meeting with Mattheo today, I thought it was really nice what he did for you, seeing as it was your birthday and your only plan was to read in the library.” Astoria was looking me up and down by this point, utterly unimpressed. “Alone.”

Again, her facial expressions directly juxtaposed what she was saying, but I was too curious if this meant Mattheo really did bring me the hot chocolate so I took the bait willingly.

"Sorry, what exactly did he do for me?"

"The spot, silly. It clearly meant a lot to you seeing as you were looking like you were about to cry.." She chuckled then, the first actual smile that came to her face. "I just wanted to come wish you a Happy Birthday as well after hearing about everything. It was so sweet of him."

Astoria was nodding so fervently at that last line that I felt myself nodding along.

"I mean he's so... charitable. Yeah, that's one of the things I love most about him." At this she began glaring down at me all pretend niceties gone by this point.

Ah... understood. I began feeling slightly embarrassed by my earlier feelings around him as she was making it clear that he was her boyfriend. Yikes.

"Yeah, ok, I get it. Thanks. If you’ll excuse me,” I nudged past her and went to the Great Hall. So far my whole having-this-day-all-to-myself thing was ruined anyways so I might as well ensure I have a fulfilling dinner.

I head to the Ravenclaw table and find a seat across from Luna, reading her Dads magazine, the Quibbler.

After calling her name a few times, Luna finally looks up, looking utterly perplexed at her friends sudden appearance.

"Geez Luna, you look like you've seen the Bloody Baron. Its only me!" She smiled at me then, a huge bright smile that reached her whole face.

"Odette! Happy birthday!! I wasn't expecting to be able to see you until tomorrow. I have something for you!" She said airily.

Luna pulls out a large glass ball with a gold band around it from her pocket. "It's a Remembral, if you ever forget something, it'll glow red!" She exclaimed while reaching across the large table to hug me. Though it wasn’t the most comfortable hug, the sentiment was so nice I ignored it and laughed, thanking her. I sit back down and just as I'm reaching for some of the feast, I look up feeling someone's eyes on me.

Right behind Luna, I find a broody Mattheo. Under the candle-light I swear his eyes sparkle.

I notice he's surrounded by some of my absolute least favorite Slytherins. While they look like they're are trying to all carry on conversations with him, he hasn't taken his eyes off of me.

I point to the hot chocolate with a questioning look on my face and he smiles, looking back down at his food. I match his grin until Astoria sits directly down next to him and whispers something in his ear. He looks at her and I force myself to look away, reminding myself he’s taken and I have absolutely no interest in him whatsoever.

I finish my meal rather quickly and Luna prattles on about the different articles from this week. I’m thankful as my mind is filled with thoughts of what Astoria could’ve been whispering in Mattheo’s ear.

I work hard not to look at them through the whole meal, even if I do have the sensation that he keeps staring at me.

As I'm about to get up, I am stopped by a shoulder gently forcing me back down to the bench.

"Odette! Happy Birthday special girl."

My brother has a knack for talking exactly like our Great Aunt Amelia on occasion. I notice at his appearance, Luna quietly excuses herself to her dorm.

"Thanks, Silas."

He smiles his million watt smile and pulls a small box wrapped with a giant blue bow out of his pocket.

"This is from me and Mum. She picked it out but I wrapped it. It’s going to dazzle you.

I gingerly take the box from him and begin opening it already dreading whatever my Mums cooked up for this years gift.

I open the box and am in fact quite dazzled. Inside, a large gaudy blue stone sits surrounded by a thick silver chain and diamonds all around the border. It looks entirely too expensive and it’s something I would never pick out myself. Silas motions for me to bend down as he places it around my neck. I find myself leaning forward from its weight. I feign a smile and look up at my brother, thinking what to say to please him.

"Thank you so much! This will be perfect at our Christmas party this year." I gingerly hug him, this one still somehow much less comfortable than the one Luna gave me over the table.

"Oh, boy. You haven't talked to Mom yet have you? She told me she would mention it to you.. Well no stress. Mum planned a trip with some of the Ministry members over Christmas for me to mingle and set up a job for when I graduate this year. You said Luna stayed back last year for Christmas and we thought maybe you could join her and have Christmas at the castle. Honestly you would hate talking with all of those Ministry folk anyways so this felt like the perfect idea for all of us." He said this while nodding at me and smiling his all too diplomatic smile.

This is just like him to somehow try to spin something he and Mum want to do, pretending it’s for my benefit. In this case, I could disagree about how awful that Holiday sounds but forgetting to even tell me until my birthday? I feel a sudden sickness wash over me, overwhelming my senses. I need to get out of here right now.

"Right. Yes, that's no problem. Thank you for the necklace again." I grab my things and rush out of the dining hall not sparing a glance over my shoulder until I'm out of eyesight.

As I turn the corner, I stop and cover my face, trying to take deep breaths. I have never felt so discarded and overlooked and on my birthday of all days. And all I could say was thank you?? I can’t tell if I am more mad them for their disregard of my feelings, or at myself for not being able to say what I really feel.

"Nice necklace, Princess."

I spin around finding Mattheo leaning against the wall behind me.

"It's very...." he looks at it debating his word choice. "Loud." He decides.

"I didn’t pick, my brother just gave it to me." I say, monotone. “I don’t really even like it,” I feel compelled to say so he doesn’t think that this is me.

"Why are you wearing it if you dont like it?"

I hesitate looking up towards the ceiling, then, "You know, I ask myself questions like that all the time."

I slump against the wall and feel him slide up next to me.

"So do I."

I look at him then and we lock eyes once more.

"Odette." He says, his voice slightly hoarse and I swear he looks down at my lips then.

My breath catches at my name and I feel myself instinctively leaning towards him but pull back when I hear laughing down the hall. I remember myself, and more importantly, I remember his girlfriend. I push off the wall and he looks up at me dazed.

"I don't think Astoria would feel very good about how you keep getting so close to me."

His face turns to one of thoughtfulness as I back away still unable to shift gazes away from him.

"I suppose she wouldn't."

That does it. I look away then and thank him for checking on me over my shoulder, dismissing all thoughts from my head over what could've just happened.

I hear him say something under his breath and I turn around, but he's gone. My pocket feels heavier so I dig inside it finding a very delicate gold chain with blue and green stones dotting it. It's stunning, and utterly inappropriate for someone with a girlfriend to give me. But it's perfect, somehow exactly what I would have picked out for myself.

So, I decide my days been so shit and maybe just maybe I want to convince myself it's okay because it's so pretty and so me. I settle with telling myself I will forever avoid him from here on out, but still keep the necklace. I pocket the chain and head upstairs.

I sit in bed playing with the delicate gems in one hand as I pet Jinx with the other and I can't help my mind from wandering back to that confusing boy and his deadly eyes.

[lollytea]

hi omg i just wanted to say i read sunshine in your smile the other night and thought it was amazing! your characterization takes such an in depth look at what drives each character and i just loved how much attention you paid to small details like those, especially with the big argument in chapter 5. your interpretation of hunter and willow has honestly been some of the best/my favorite from all the toh fics ive read, and it just has such a unique quality to it that im still thinking about days later. plus, how the huntlow was sort of evident and there the entire time, the story itself focused a bit more on them caring for and learning about each other as both friends and people without needing to lean on the romance to carry the plot? it was SO good and well handled UGHHH because your tags were right!!! two kids who see themselves in each other and form a strong emotional connection.. its such a good premise it was such a good study. sry this is long haha just wanted to say i read ur fic and loved it, youre a really good writer and i hope to see more from you in the future!! have a nice night :~)

AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! This means SO MUCH to me, you don't understand!!! Thank you thank you thank you!! Thank you for feeling like you should tell me this cuz it makes my day so much better!! I WILL cry, I will do it, I'll do it right now

And I'm so so SO happy that you enjoyed the emphasis on their relationship outside of the romantic element because that was really what the fic was all about. It was a direct response to all the people saying huntlow would "ruin" Hunter's character and it was just some hollow "painfully hetero" ship that existed for the sake of cliche shipping. I was trying to show the potential of just what it could actually be. Something that pays respect to both Hunter and Willow as people, as well as being a love letter to both of their characters. And how those personalities really catch fire when they have each other to bounce off of.

Like he had a crush on her from the first chapter but it wasn't supposed to make you think "oh yes he is in love with her. He is her soulmate. They are meant to be together." It was supposed to make you think "Aww this dummy got a crush on a girl after knowing her for a literal day for simple silly reasons because he is sixteen and sixteen year olds are just Like That sometimes." Their mutual crushes are supposed to demonstrate how despite Willow's wisdom and maturity and Hunter's militant personality they're both still kids and are fully capable of being childish and impulsive, without mocking either them for feeling that way. Like at this stage they really don't know each other well at all. But they would really like to.

The crushes clearly grow as the fic goes on as they become more familiar and now the infatuation actually has a stronger foundation. But in the end, it's still shown to be a sweet innocent juvenile thing, not like straight up burning true love or whatever. Willow doesn't give him a flower that means undying devotion or everlasting love or anything like that. It is simple as "I think happiness suits you. Your smile is very pretty." Meanwhile the bond they begin to develop as friends and mirror images of each other is the main character study at play here. It is not so easily slotted into a box of romantic or platonic, its just this indescribable kind of thing. The fic doesn't end with a kiss or a sudden realization of feelings, but rather with them having formed this connection, gaining some perspective of each other and themselves. And sometimes, depending on how the story as a whole is handled, an ending like that can be satisfying enough.

I had a post in my drafts about it but I never posted it cuz I felt I was getting annoying constantly talking about my own fic. But here's some tags on it where I ramble about the angle I was trying to take with it.

[thetomorrowshow]

unless you take your army back

Hello and welcome to the sequel to my work i will make the sky collapse! You honestly do not have to read the first one to understand this one--the first was a Crutchie-centric whump-focused refuge story, and this one is about his recovery and Jack coming to terms with what happened (and maybe some,,, sprace).

So yeah! This is chapter one! Content warnings will be posted at the beginning of each chapter :) This is a queued post, so as soon as I have time to post it on AO3 I’ll update this with the link.

cw: blood, brief description of injury

~

On the same day they won the strike, there were a good dozen kids clamoring to be a newsie, appearing out of nowhere with the sole purpose of bothering Jack. He didn’t really want to care--they could be a newsie all they wanted--but the problem was they all needed a start-up fund. They all wanted Jack to foot the cost of their first papes and first week of room and board, and though he had just gotten a job offer and an improved living overall, he just didn’t have the time or money to train so many penniless kids. So he sent them to Spot Conlon, of course.

It was pretty clear that these kids all came from the Refuge, which had just been shut down by the governor. Jack had never been happier than he was when he saw the cop drag Snyder away in chains. The nagging question that was slowly coming to the front of his mind, though, was where was Crutchie?

Katherine had been here for the short celebration, but had seemed distracted and had left almost immediately, without giving Jack a chance to ask after his brother. He wanted to go look for the kid, comb through the Refuge and the streets surrounding it, but Davey had regretfully told him he couldn’t leave. He was the union leader, and a nice official union it was at that. He actually couldn’t even sell right now, he had to return to Pulitzer’s office and continue working on a bunch of paperwork registering the union or something. Pulitzer had told him that they would be working together occasionally due to his new position as leader of the Newsboys Union, which apparently meant that whenever there was a problem on either of their ends they had to include the other in their solving of the problem. It made sense to Jack, what he didn’t get was why he had to read a billion papers telling him it made sense.

Katherine did not ride with him and Mr. Pulitzer in the carriage back to his office, and she didn’t come and see him when he left late in the afternoon, but maybe she was just at work. There was a lot to report, after all. Jack wished it didn’t hurt. There was no way it was intentional, they all had a lot going on right now. It wasn't like he'd gone looking for her, after all. He'd see her tomorrow, cross paths on the way to work.

What with all the stressful arrangements and intense discussions, Jack was more tired than he usually was by the time he entered the lodging house. In later days, he wished that he had spoken to Mush, waiting anxiously outside. He wished that he had not gone with Pulitzer to his office, and instead sought out Katherine straightaway. Most of all, he wished that he had gone personally to the Refuge, made sure to set those kids free himself.

He didn’t do any of those things, though. Instead, he walked home from Pulitzer’s office, nodded to Mush, and went straight inside.

-

Katherine was there, which was odd, but certainly not unwelcome. According to Race, she had spent time with them without him, just celebrating with them and getting to know them all. That was fine, but most girls didn’t seek out a bunch of street rat teenage boys as preferred company.

Not only was Katherine there, but half of the newsies were seemingly just waiting by the door, dropping what they’d been doing and standing to stare at him. Sure, Jack was something of a celebrity now--and he had betrayed them more than once, which could be the reason also--but they looked almost guilty.

“Jack,” Katherine started, and Jack saw that sorry look on her face and his heart dropped. What could this be about? He’d been with Pulitzer all day, so it wasn’t like the old man had turned on them. Where was Crutchie? Was he--he couldn’t be. Right? No.

“Jack,” she said again, and now she was crying. Jack wanted to kiss the tears off her face, tell her she never needed to cry again, but he couldn’t. He had to know--his stomach was roiling, threatening to toss up whatever bite he’d eaten earlier. Something had happened, and it--it couldn’t be--

“It’s Crutchie,” Katherine said, and Jack had a brief moment of huh, so that’s how swoonin’ feels before he was on his knees. He can’t have died. Crutchie was--well, Crutchie. He was just as capable as any newsie, could sell papes twice as well as half of them, and was stronger than anyone Jack knew--certainly far stronger than himself. But if Snyder--if the Refuge--if--

“He’s alive,” Katherine hurried to say, kneeling on the floor beside him, and Jack let out a choked laugh, only just realizing he was crying.

“Ya couldn’ta said that sooner?” he asked weakly, and Katherine sniffled, trying to regain composure.

“He’s alive,” she repeated, “but he isn’t doing well at all. He wanted to see you, but I think he’s still asleep.”

In seconds, Jack was back on his feet, pulling her up with him. “Let’s go,” he said, pulling her towards the bunkroom. “I gotta see ‘im.”

He ignored her cries of “Jack, wait, you have to know--” and took the stairs two at a time, yanking open the door as soon as it was in front of him. The room was dead silent for once, and only one bed was occupied (despite the fact that he’d told Romeo to rest up today after the strike). Over by the open window on the far wall, a figure was laying in the only bed without a top bunk (the one that belonged to Jack, seeing as he was in charge).

Jack could barely hold back a retch as he came closer, seeing the matted hair crusted in blood, but sticking straight up, same as always. Crutchie was sleeping almost peacefully on the bed, the blankets tucked around him messily, as if one of the boys had tried his very best to arrange it like a mother would. His face was swollen and cut up, almost unrecognizable as his brother, though his neck was what caught Jack’s attention. A brownish-purple bruise in the vague shape of a gripped hand was found there, where the fingers had dug in marked by little round black bruises, a sick imitation of a constellation crossing his brother’s throat.

Jack’s fists curled into tight balls as he stared down at Crutchie, seeing red. The rest of his body was hidden by the covers, excepting a stiff arm that was tightly wrapped in gauze. The collar of his undershirt was the only part of his clothes visible, and it was stained brown and torn. 

There were two sides of Jack warring for dominance. One screamed at him to storm down to the county jail right this moment and give Snyder everything he deserved. The other side tried to pull him to the floor, weeping at Crutchie’s bedside. Jack fought both, not wanting to seem weak in front of Katherine, who was watching him with that soft-concerned look on her face that he had already come to know too well. He needed to get alone, needed space, needed a moment to cope with what he’d just been confronted with so that he could best help Crutchie later.

Jack calmly left the room, replying something along the lines of fine, just need a minute when Katherine asked tentatively if he was okay. Then he walked slowly down the steps and through the main room, where all of the newsies watched him silently. He nodded vaguely in their direction. Luckily, none of them asked any questions. If they had, Jack wasn’t sure that he would’ve been able to hold back the sobs.

Finally he was outside, and here he could run. Run he did, all the way around the side of the building and up the fire escape, running and running until all that existed was the clang! of his feet against the metal and the wind rushing past his ears. Then he was climbing the ladder to the very top, where only a week ago he and Crutchie had woken, excited to start striking for real.

Jack had woken early that morning, and had taken the time to sketch out the New York skyline against the starry night sky. It was a frequent subject of his, but that morning he had filled in himself and Crutchie, sitting on the roof closest to the perspective, curled up and reaching toward the stars.

When Crutchie had gotten up, they had made mundane small talk, both trying to hide nervousness that showed too plainly. They eventually stopped talking around it, laughing and joking about it directly, before deciding--no, vowing--to not let the other come to serious harm or danger. Then they had gone downstairs, ready to wake the other boys and get on with the revolution.

The last promise--maybe the last one ever--that Jack had made to Crutchie, and he’d broken it not even hours later. On the rooftop now, Jack kicked the low wall angrily, then again and again. What was wrong with him? How could he focus so intently on these--these mundanities, paperwork and politeness and whatall, while Crutchie was suffering so? How had he not been here for him, when he arguably needed Jack more than anyone else at the moment?

He kicked the wall one more time, then threw himself to the floor. What kind of leader was he? He’d betrayed everyone, almost left Crutchie; then when he’d gotten his head on the right way, he hadn’t done anything to make sure the kid was all right!

“Jack?”

Katherine. She would come up here, tell him it was okay, that it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t want that. It was his fault, and he couldn’t have anyone denying it or he might just explode.

“Leave me alone,” he called back, barely keeping his voice from breaking. Silence, then a sigh and the sound of soft footsteps going down the fire escape. Good.

Jack drew his hands across his face, taking in a shuddering breath. He had to pull himself together. He couldn’t dream about leaving anymore, that would just make things worse. He had to be here for Crutchie, and the other boys. Prove that he wasn’t a scab.

He hadn’t eaten any supper, but he didn’t really care. It was dark enough that he shouldn’t have a problem resting. Add it to the tired ache in his bones and he’d be out in no time. He’d get up when everyone else went to bed, then he’d stay up the rest of the night with Crutchie, be there in case he had nightmares or woke up. He had to be there for him. He had to.

[filipinoizukuu]

pls tell me more of ur fic pet peeves

K OSMFKS OKAY MAN. man. HSDBBSJDJS

so i have like. a FUCK ton of pet peeves for fics, and i just wanted to say first that fanfic should not be placed in any boxes or standards because it is freely written and it is something meant to be enjoyed. these are my opinions and all peeve me to only a certain degree (meaning it squicks me out at worst)—so if you are a fic writer and you find yourself doing any of these things, do NOT take it to heart and just know i love you for doing what you do and i wish you all the best ♡

im gonna give reasons why certain things peeve me so i dont just sound like im bitching but generally, when reading ANY fics, i dislike the ff:

- long paragraphs with no breaks. bro i have adhd i cant go through all of this im going to get LOST.

- underlining, bolding, italicizing, AND capitalizing statements for emphasis like sir its chill i think i get the point. imho if you wrote your scene well enough and paced it properly, the most you'll need is an italics and maybe an exclamation mark. u gotta trust ur own writing and the reading comprehension of your audience.

- jittery perspective jumps especially when its fic about characters who use the same pronouns and youre constantly shifting the thoughts being presented. it... gets kinda confusing.

- FIRST PERSON POV. ITS NOT BAD I JUST GET SO JARRED BECAUSE SASUKE UCHIHA IS DOING WHAT TO ME??

everything else like grammar and punctuation and spelling is literally just. whatever. like as long as i get your point i really dont care. sometimes writers dont speak english fluently. sometimes writers just fuck up and dont have betas. sometimes writers just post their chapters at 3 am and leave all their mistakes out for god. i have no right to judge.

for personal bnha fic pet peeves, ig most of my annoyance lies on characterization and my own personal beliefs

- i already said it previously but i cannot STRESS how much i dislike the whole "fuck redemption arcs and fuck all authority figures except LoV for some reason" theme. it annoys me and i just flat out dont agree with it

- HATE tropes that reduce deku to being like 🥺👉👈 uwu okie soft helpless bean. theres nothing wrong with it if thats how you prefer deku, but i just get annoyed by it

- ANYTIME BKDK HAS AN UNEQUAL DYNAMIC. again. nothing wrong with exploring it in fanfiction. i just dislike reading fics that make either deku or bakugou blatantly weaker than the other. i love quirkless deku fics but i hate ones where he's also characterized as amounting to nothing and still acts like bakugous punching bag/okay with bakugou disrespecting him. their whole dynamic in canon is built on a great deal of respect

- speaking of bkdks power dynamic, FRICK GOSH I HATE SEEING FICS WHERE DEKU "realizes bakugous been abusing him for years!" and gets him expelled from ua and everyone claps. like. LIKE??? N. NO???? thats not how it works 😭

- all might slander. also unjustified or unnuanced endeavor slander where they dont tackle the complexity of his character. also also unjustified or unnuanced bakugous mom slander. this ones a bit controversial so i wont talk about it much.

- sexist homophobic or racist bakugou. im kicking that away. no. especially fics where bakugous past bullying is explained as "repressed homosexuality". i like making that as a joke but i genuinely do no believe in it.

- BAD MOM MIDORIYA INKO. ITS A TROPE I SEE SOMETIMES AND IT MAKES ME CRY I DONT HAVE A RATIONAL REASONING FOR IT I JUST LOVE INKO

- fics where ochako is obviously very reduced into a supporting figure with absolutely no dimension except being a supportive character and maybe having a shoe-horned wlw romance just for the sake of making her unavailable. shes my fave bnha girl and sometimes in fics i can literally FEEL her character being butchered to only show up when deku needs Love Advice. *note that this only applies when literally every other male character has something else going on for them and its just the females being sidelined into Boy Advice Givers and Talking Sense.

- fics that very obviously belittle asian principles and culture. family means a GOOD DEAL to a lot of asian cultures and fics that spout "if you dont like your family then leave and find your own! its that simple!" usually sound incredibly ignorant or outright claim moral superiority to the weight of familial bond in asian culture. same with manners, respect, and discipline.

- jeALOUSY/CHEATING FICS OK IM SELFISH I ONLY WANT BKDK TOGETHER LIKE IM DEKUBOWL ONLY SOMETIMES BUT BKDK ALWAYS HAS TO END UP TOGETHER

- "murdering is ok if its characters i hate 🥰" ... listen, you do you bestie but like. no thanks. if i wanted to read about mineta getting murdered by momo with a pistol i dont think id be opening a bkdk soulmarks au

- any dekusquad slander 😭 i love them okay

- *kicks mean/bakugou-hating todoroki out the door*

- *kicks 'all mha characters text, talk, and behave like 14 year old stan twt users (no offense ok i speak like that too)' fics out the door*

- *kicks bratty deku and/or bakugou out the door*

thats. all i can think of atm.

[lynn-writes-things]

Good thing u reopened ❤. Since the new trailer i cant stop thinking about my big boy Wrecker...so you can do whatever (even a post war au-everybody lives with a bit of struggling) and u can get spicy if u want (im a big girl cant handle it...or him 👀) so i thought make a donation to request. If u need a prompt, a soulmate is one of my weakness....

Thank you so so so much for the donation!!! and the request, I had so much fun writing this!! I really really hope you enjoy this, and if not, let me know and I’ll redo it!! Thank you again!!!! <3

Word count: 2330

Warnings: nsfw at the end, mentions of sex, ptsd, nightmares, mentions of violence and injury

You’ll never forget the day it was announced that the war had ended. You’ll never forget the moment, you were waiting at your apartment for Wrecker, when you heard over the radio that the war had officially ended. Chancellor Palpatine had been exposed as a Sith Lord by none other than Fox, who had gotten a recording to the Jedi of Palpatine giving orders to Dooku- Dooku even referred to Palpatine as Lord Sidious, removing any trace of doubt. When Wrecker came through your door, you were already crying tears of happiness. You couldn’t believe it- you just couldn’t.

That night, Wrecker took you to 79’s to celebrate with the boys. It was where the two of you had met. Now that the war was over, he had a very important question to ask you, and he wanted his brothers to be there to experience it.

-

The air was cold, and your dress was entirely too short. You had been practically abandoned by your friends, who had convinced you to come out for a couple drinks. Admittedly, you felt foolish for thinking that they would’ve stuck around once they finally talked you out of your house. You had been so busy studying lately that you never got time to have any fun, and though they should’ve been having fun with you, they chose the company of a few clone troopers instead.

“Hey,” Came a voice from behind you. You turned, and came face to… chest, with the largest clone you’d ever met. “You look a little lost.” He commented with a kind smile. Only one of his eyes had an iris, and you found that it sparkled so radiantly that you couldn’t look away.

“Yeah, my friends sort of ditched me.” You said sheepishly.

“That’s not very nice of them,” He commented. “Want to grab a drink with me?”

“I—” You usually would say no, but you figured- fuck it, why not? He was cute, and seemed nice. What’s one drink? “Yeah, actually- I’d love that.” The two of you make your way to the bar, where you both sit and he orders you a drink.

“What’s in this?” You ask, sniffing the brightly colored beverage.

“It’s a surprise!” He laughed. “It’s nothing too heavy, trust me.”

“No offense, but I think we have drastically different perspectives on what is or isn’t a heavy drink.” You joke, and Wrecker belts out a laugh, just happy that you’re finally starting to relax. He couldn’t get over the way you looked- he wanted to take you back to meet his brothers, but he knew that it was way too soon for that sort of thing. He wanted to ask you to be his girlfriend on the spot, but again, he knew better. You try a sip of your drink, and you hum in appreciation for the sweet flavor of the beverage. It hardly tastes like alcohol at all.

“This is really good,” You comment.

“I told you!” He cheers, taking a swig of his own drink. “So, what happened with your friends?” He asks. You were sort of surprised that he remembered you even mentioned them. You had almost forgotten that you had mentioned them.

“Oh, they do this every time they get me out of the house,” You say with a sigh. “I don’t get it. They always want me to come out, but they never want to stick around me.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” He answers. “Who wouldn’t want to hang out with you?” He asks earnestly, and you can’t help but blush.

“You hardly know me.” You say with a lighthearted roll of your eyes.

“Well, I like what I know about you so far.” He smiles, and you can’t help but return it. “And I think you’re beautiful, so I don’t see who wouldn’t want to be around you.”

-

The bar was quiet tonight, unlike the night you first met. But that was okay. It meant for more privacy, which meant Hunter could actually breathe. He was the only one who knew what was going to be happening tonight, and he found that he could hardly stop smiling. He was just so excited and proud of his little brother. The first of them to get married was a big achievement, one that Crosshair would never be able to hold over his head. When you caught on to all of his smiling, Hunter just brushed it off by saying he was just happy that the war had finally ended. You had bought it.

“Hey,” Wrecker nudged you, you had him trapped in the booth. “Can I get out?”

“Yeah, ‘course.” You said, standing up. He did the same, only before you had the chance to sit back down, he dropped to one knee and pulled out the ring he had been holding onto for months now. He knew he wanted to propose to you for ages now, but he always just felt he had to wait for the right time. And, well, this felt like the right time.

“Y/N,” He starts, clearing his throat. Tech starts recording without your knowledge. “I’ve known you were meant to be mine from the first moment I saw you here, years ago.” He says. “I knew from the first time I looked into your eyes that you were the only one for me. You’re my soulmate, Y/N.” He’s tearing up, which is making both you and Hunter tear up as well. You had your hand over your mouth in shock. “Will you please make me the happiest man alive and please be my wife?”

“Yes!” You yelled, gaining the attention of every clone in the bar. “Yes, Wrecker- yes!” You’re crying now, and everyone in the bar cheers. Wrecker stands, and places the ring on your finger. You jump into his arms and kiss him as hard as you could. It was salty, the combined taste of both of your tears. The boys are all cheering the loudest, even Crosshair is smiling.

-

“Okay, okay, my turn,” You began, popping a fry into your mouth. You’d moved to a booth in the back, bonding over beers, shots, and fries. “Would you rather have sex with a Togruta or a Twi’lek?” You ask, alcohol swimming in your veins.

“Depends, which one’s hotter?” He asks, and you snort.

“They’re both pretty hot.”

“Are you there?”

“Why would I be there?” You laugh.

“Because if you’re there, I’m picking you regardless.” He promises with a wink.

“Okay, that was a good one.” You laugh, shaking your head. You couldn’t remember when you started holding hands across the table, but you were reminded by the warmth.

“My turn,” He states. “Would you rather fuck me or a reg?” He asks with a smrik.

“I don’t even know what a ‘reg’ is, but I’d definitely rather fuck you.” You answer, blinking with both eyes, causing both of you to burst out laughing. You laugh so hard that beer comes out of your nose, which makes Wrecker laugh so hard he’s pounding his fist on the table. When the two of you sober up, you agree to head back to your place for the night, with promises to show you why they call him Wrecker.

-

You wake up for the third night in a row to Wrecker yelling. He’s sitting up, covered in a layer of sweat. He’s horrified, again. It hurts you deeply that there isn’t more you can do to help him – he is your soulmate after all.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You ask gently, your arms around him.

“Tech,” Is all he says, and you know all of the details without him having to talk about them. He has had the same nightmare every night since the war had ended and he’d been away from his brothers.

In the dream, they were back on the battlefield, and it’s during a battle that doesn’t go to plan. It starts off fine, though it doesn’t stay fine for very long. Droids get airdropped in from every direction – faster than they can take them out – and they’re overwhelmed before they even know what’s going on. Tech gets captured, and by the time they all find him, he’s badly injured and barely alive. But, in the nightmare, Tech doesn’t make it, and Wrecker’s the one to find him. He blames himself.

“Do you want to call him?” You ask. “He might like to hear from you.”

“I… Yeah.” He says with a shaky sigh. You comm Tech, who’s still awake, and he and Wrecker talk for the better part of two hours while you cuddle up with Wrecker. You gently caress him and place gentle, soft kisses anywhere that you can reach. By the time he hangs up, you can tell Wrecker is feeling better.

“I wish there was more I do to help you, my love.” You say, kissing his cheek.

“You’re here for me,” He says. “That’s all I need from you.”

“Yeah, but…”

“I know.” He smiles softly. You kiss his lips now that he is no longer on the line with Tech, and he kisses back eagerly, passionately, trying to show you just how “okay” it was that you did everything you could to help him when he needed it. To show you how much he appreciates you taking care of him.

“I love you,” He sighs against your lips.

“I love you too,” You whisper against his. The kiss deepens, his tongue prodding for entrance, which you happily allow.

-

You don’t even end up fucking that night, you both agree that neither of you are sober enough to make that choice. But, you agree to spend the night together anyways, and see where things go in the morning. You can ride out your hangovers together.

You wake up first, to find the human equivalent of a heater curled around your body. You melt into his touch, and it’s the closest to heaven you think you’ve ever been. You wiggle out of his embrace, and promptly go throw up in the refresher, brushing your teeth afterwards and getting a glass of water. You down two pain killers with the water, and refill the cup, setting two more pain killers on the bedside table on Wrecker’s side, along with the refilled cup of water.

When he wakes up, you’re in the kitchen making caff, needing the caffeine.

“Morning, gorgeous.” He smiles at you. He barely even squints at the morning sun, and you’re reminded once more than being as large as he is must have it’s advantages.

“Morning, handsome.” You smile back, sipping your mug of caff. He walks over and places a soft kiss to your lips, humming at the taste of caff. “Want a cup?”

“I’d love some.” He smiles. You fix him a cup of caff, and you both sit and watch the morning news.

“So, about last night…” He begins, and you feel your heart sink with anxiety. “I really would like to get to know you better.”

“I… I’d like to get to know you better too, Wrecker.” You smile. “You seem like a really kind, funny guy.”

“I’ll be whatever you want me to be, angel.” He says.

“I want you to be yourself,” You laugh. “I like you quite a lot.”

“I like you, too.” He smiles. There’s a moment of silence between the two of you while Wrecker thinks of something – something you can’t read in his eye. “Will you be my girlfriend?” He asks at last. You beam at him.

“I’d love to be your girlfriend, Wrecker.” You answer happily.

­-

The kissing grows to him laying you on the bed and rutting against you, his lips never leaving yours. You breathe out that you want him, and Wrecker doesn’t hesitate to start fingering you, stretching you open with care. He knew he was bigger than most, and the last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt you – so he did this every single time the two of you had sex.

By the time his cock finally enters you, you’re keening, fucking yourself on his cock. He chuckles at your attempts, before finally giving you what you want. The most amazing part about fucking Wrecker is that he fills you up so perfectly, he manages to hit your g-spot and your cervix without even adjusting his angles – it just naturally happens. You’re convinced that he’s your soulmate, every detail proves it to you, even down to the size of his dick. He starts a slow and sensual pace, before the pleasure starts to get too much for him, and he can’t help but speed up. You’re a moaning mess, crying out in ecstasy with every thrust of his hips.

“Where?” He asks in a pant, and you don’t even need to hear the full question to know.

“Well, I was thinking,” You start, and his pace slows just a little so he can intently listen. “Since we’re engaged now…”

“I… Yeah? Really?!” He asks, sounding enthusiastic and in disbelief.

“Put a baby in me, Wreck.” You plead, and he groans. His big, calloused fingers find your clit, determined to make you come before he does. It doesn’t take long to send you spiraling over the edge, crying out his name as you came messily all over his perfect cock. Wrecker grunts animalistically as he comes inside you, not stopping until you’re filled to the brim with his seed. When he’s done, he stays sheathed inside of you, holding his come in you for several minutes before finally pulling out and laying beside you, pulling you close. You relax into his grip, still shaking from the aftershocks of your orgasm.

“You’re going to be such an amazing mom,” He says. “I’ll have so much fun making you one.”

“I love you, Wreck.” You say softly, nuzzling against his chest. “You’ll be an incredible father.”

“I love you too, angel.”

[bionic-penis]

Since ive been dogging on it so much i will compile my thots on the new deh movie. I don't know anything about music or theatre or movies so this is coming from my perspective as just someone who enjoys things. Some other things that are relevant given the context of the movie is I grew up poor with a single mom and i suffer from depression and anxiety. Okay okay <33 bulleted bc I REFUSE to write smth well thought out this list will be SO petty maybe if the movie was enjoyable i would be nicer <33

Warning for spoilers!!

First off. They cut out almost all the songs that gave insight into how the adults thought and felt. These are SO fucking important to the story as it fleshes the adults out as more than just set pieces. "Does Anybody Have a Map?" was so important because it introduced the Heidi and Cynthia and showed how they were trying their best despite it all. Cutting this out, alongside with "Good For You" trashed any chance we had at understanding either of the mothers. The one saving grace for Heidi was the fact that they left in "So Big/So Small" but it was not enough

Speaking about "Good For You"... GIRL. LITERALLY WHY WOULD YOU CUT OUT THE ONE SONG THAT SEES EVAN HAVING TO CONFRONT HIS MISTAKES???

About Heidi... Her relationship with Evan makes me mad. It always has. He is such a dick to his mom and its not even in a believable way imo. There is NO resolution to this. Heidi just offers him advice and sings a song and thats it. They didnt even really fight!! Evan just said his stupid line about how the Murphy's treat him nicer and they part ways awkwardly. Another nitpick about this scene? It didnt have the iconic "ugliness" of the version that im used to. What I love about that version is how the actresses voice dips and sounds so shaky. I love how she doesnt sound necessarily angry, but heartbroken. She sounds devastated. And while I LOVED the actress in the movie she just didn't deliver that same emotion. It felt forced. And the whole scene felt inconclusive.

Its hard having a mom whos always working I understand and this could have been such an amazing moment to showcase that there is no guilty party in this situation. Just a mom whos trying her best and a son who just wants to connect. BUT DO THEY DO THAT? NO. THEY LIKE TO THINK THEY DID BUT THEY DIDNT. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU OH MT GOD THIS ONE PART OF THE STORY MAKES ME WANT TO EAT TWIGS IT MAKES ME SO UPSET 😭😭😭😭

Another thing is that all the songs seen so Evan centric. He sings most of them and I can only really remember two songs that he wasnt apart of

Which brings me to "Requiem"... Which I hated. And have a BIG nitpick about.

First off. Its just shot bad. Theres this moment where it goes from Zoe walking down the hall at school to Larry walking between cubicles to Cynthia walking down a grocery aisle. I felt nothing. The only good thing to come from this is when we see Larry walking down the same way just to return home to cry in Cynthias arms. This is the one moment that got me. The one moment that felt emotionally weighted.

This song could have been shot beautifully. Switching between perspectives and each Murphy's relationship with Colnnor but it doesn't. It lacks intimacy. Even when Zoe is driving her car pedal to the metal driving down an empty road it fails to connect deeply, especially when this moment is never brought up or expanded upon. Also its stupid because at the speed she was going she would have needed a LOT more time to stop than just the split second she has when the light turns red

Another thing about this car sequence?? No stakes. There are no other cars on the road. It wouldnt have even mattered if Zoe hadnt stopped in time. This is one core issue with the movie: there are no consequences for any actions the characters take. I think that id Zoe had ran the stoplight she could have gotten a ticket and opened up a moment for connection between the Murphy's

On more than one occasion we are forced to endure a montage of events that occur without context that I feel are meant to establish that at least SOMETHING happened but what this does is rush character beats AND, especially, Zoe and Evans relationship

Now I LOVE "Only Us" but one cool song does not a relationship make!!

Also the reoccuring montage of Evan falling out if the tree.... 😐

Its such a serious moment but my friend and I laughed. Yeah.... Fail moment.

The way they depict Connor is fucking disrespectful and I hate it and also its fucking awkward. The only reason i sympathised with him at all during the movie was bc he wasnt evan.

Zoe and Evans relationship have no weight

Zoes relationship with her parents have no weight

Evans relationship with Heidi has no weight

No relationship has weight

Ben Platt makes an awful teenager. I dont care how iconic his voice is as Evan. Awful decision to cast him. What was once an emotional exploration of manipulation and acceptance is now a grown man standing in the middle of the hall pissing off frosh, soph, junior, and senior alike

Also the scene with him in the locker room... What the hell... GIRL what senior has a pe class and also??? How have you lasted that long in the locker room we have been doing this for seven years get with the program

What these sequences of Evan standing around looking like That do is NOT establish his anxiety issues but rather make me more likely to shove him in a locker. Seriously. Its borderline stereotypical and makes me embarrassed to have anxiety

I have not even touched on all that upset me but that is enough talking about the bad musical movie for now. If u disagree with me no you dont amen