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thatdamnokie · 4 years ago

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so, as everybody knows, our man, the lovely mark strong, turned 57 this past august 5th

since the kingsman films have had a huge influence on several aspects of my day-to-day life (gee, wonder what group of people i could be referring to...), i decided to sit down and do something i’ve been thinking about since getting my medical card earlier this year: getting high as a kite and watching them back-to-back.

to celebrate mark’s birthday, i decided to do another running commentary post like the one i did for rocknrolla ages ago, under the cut. it’s a pretty similar style, which is to say not necessarily super coherent and might be hard to understand if you’ve never seen the movies. D:

there are some mentions of the roanoke society, but not many.

if even just one person finds this mildly entertaining for four seconds, then i’ll have done my job. there is a lot of cursing and this is NOT spoiler-free.

enjoy~

edited 9.1.20 to correct typos and such, please remember that i was Not Sober while i wrote this lmao

how many times have i watched these movies at this point? i don’t even know.

i always liked the nifty like—retro arcade marv opening animation

and the thing with the tapes! we love book-ending devices!

kingsman: badass motherfuckers worldwide incorporated

like why was merlin even with them? i understand why lee and james would be there, but merlin, was he not acting quartermaster then?

i have SO MANY FEELINGS about lee unwin

i think it haunts harry and merlin more than anyone thinks, but these are fun spy movies so we just don’t talk about trauma and shit, don’tcha know

don’t look at how merlin tears up and tell me he doesn’t drink about it *HEAVILY* later

it’s such a stark contrast to see the 1990s interior vs. what it’s like when eggsy’s grown :(

michelle baby i’m so sorry. you deserved better than this.

and BABY EGGSY

omg. like this scene is both heartbreaking but is also adorable.

colin firth has gd anime legs, that dude had to straight up unfold himself as he stood up lmao

aaannnnd swooping logo, whooooo, goin’ over some mountains~

and mark hamill, ladies and gentlemen!

this whole thing with james deciding to kinda go rogue makes me wish that we knew more about his backstory as well. like, is this james being james, or was this a weird one-off situation and he was just unlucky?

YES unlucky. nobody could plan for the hurricane of sleek destruction that is gazelle

who has one of my favorite aesthetic designs as a villain (although i guess i’d put her more on maybe henchman level? but idk, it seems like valentine looked at her more as a partner, less like an assistant? and they had a very interesting chemistry together too, like i would’ve added more valentine x gazelle scenes)

i would LOVE to be this chill about just—draping blankies over bodies

blankies over bodies sounds like a cool band name

DIBS you guys can’t have it

i am SO GLAD samuel l. jackson gave valentine a lisp!

valentine, to me, does fit a lot of the usual spy movie villain tropes

but since this movie doesn’t take itself super serious, it’s more fun than annoying

and we never hear about any of the other knights?? like

half of this is just gonna be me whining for additional footage that there just wouldn’t have been room for realistically lmao

michael caine, you are lovely

MARK STRONG, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN

WITH LEGS THAT DON’T QUIT AND AN ACCENT THAT I’D DIE FOR

i’m an embarrassment

like let’s all stop and thank god that mark didn’t have time to learn the welsh accent

not that i would’ve been disappointed, because all accents are good accents on this blog

but at this point i can’t imagine merlin as—not scottish

“try picking a more suitable candidate this time”

arthur you DICK

like were you this cold-blooded when lee died, you fuckin’ reptilian-ass son of a bitch

no wonder you were charlie’s pledge person thing

and enter the fabulous taron egerton, stage left!

DEAN you are DISGUSTING

god, michelle, you need better friends, if you were my bro this entire relationship would’ve never happened

;-; and eggsy’s so sweet with his sister! i know there probably wasn’t “room” for it but i AM glad that there are scenes showing that family is one of eggsy’s kinda “core values”or whatever you want to call it

dude is a hufflepuff through and through imo

can you imagine eggsy as a villain? we would be so fucked. he’s sly, he’s smart, he could’ve made life v e r y difficult for lots of people if he really wanted to

but look at him with the squad!

eggsy’s just like the british version of a good ol’ boy

this car scene is some dukes of hazzard bullshit (ramp-jumping and fun car horn aside)

if butterflies are harry’s main symbolic critter, would foxes be eggsy’s? or would it be a pug instead? i guess that’s like asking if harry would be either a butterfly or a cairn terrier, like mr. pickle. let’s say both.

this fandom is pretty on top of character associations like that

you get symbolic associations! YOU get symbolic associations! EVERYONE gets symbolic associations whether they’re actually in the canon or not! don’t have any? don’t worry, we’ll assign you at least one!

the guy playing the interviewing officer is ALSO the patriarch in the witch which i didn’t realize until—like, a while after

and it was while @circlesofbone was visiting, and we were just “oh, okay, guess we can’t escape this cast at all, this is fine”

“your father saved my life.”

harry you’re such a fucking peacock, waiting all posted up and posing so you’ll look cool

you big doofus

i’d kill to be inside his head during this first conversation with eggsy though

like is eggsy like lee? is harry seeing lee the entire time he’s talking to his son, in his mannerisms, how he carries himself, how he speaks?

or is eggsy the opposite? which—i don’t know if that would somehow be sadder?

there’s just a lot going on in the background of this bit that’s left up to interpretation

“although i’m sure it’s well-founded—“

harry’s just so casual about this entire thing, nobody’s that casual without practice

harry you rabble-rouser, what kind of life have you led

“manners. maketh. man.”

our timeless motto, my flowers

kingsman STILL to this DAY has some of the most well-choreographed fight scenes i’ve ever seen??

like yeah the church scene but even just this initial bar fight

harry could’ve been a dancer

in a way i guess he already is

like he moves so fluidly and gracefully, it is BONKERS

colin you did so good! i’m so proud!

the way eggsy’s just O.O

whether or not you ship hartwin, like, you gotta admit, that was hot

and his BODY LANGUAGE, he’s sitting like RAMROD straight, this poor dude lmao

nobody prepares you for a situation like that in public school is all i’m saying

harry, exiting stage left like a suave, smooth motherfucker

remember when iggy azalea was relevant

ugghhhh i hate this part

“I WASN’T WITH NO ONE”

can you imagine being harry hart listening to your dead friend’s son getting the shit beat out of him

like, surely he heard the cleaver, he knows dean was going to fucking gut eggsy right?

listen to how cold and icy his voice gets, oof

yeah, he’s pissed, and dean is lucky

PARKOUR

ugh, i want to go to london ;-; i want to walk in front of the shop and visit harry’s house and kiss cute english boys

i’d like to think harry’s super excited to show eggsy everything but he’s gotta keep it dialed back because “decorum”

the way eggsy pauses though

“come on.”

and he says it so softly.

if i was eggsy, i’d be nervous, too.

but i didn’t realize how quickly harry tries to give off signals like “hey there’s no reason to be scared.”

“like my fair lady?” “well, you’re full of surprises.” <3 one of my favorite sceneeesss.

harry’s voice is so soothing but eggsy is so freaked out by the elevator that he’s just—there’s no room for anything else beyond processing the elevator lmao

“how deep does this fucking thing go?” asking the real questions

aannnddd KINGSMAN BULLET TRAIN

i’d like to think they have like soft jazz or something playing in there

and then they get to the hangar and there are obviously a buuuuunch of people out on the tarmac that we just—never hear about? i just assume they’re all like technical officers or maybe other agents

“your father had the same look on his face. … as did i.”

harry is already rooting for him.

“late again, sir.”

that. brogue.

fuck, i could listen to him talk for hours, scottish accents are my favorite thing

#squadgoals

not a very diverse cast :/

the body bag speeeeech

and of course nobody was in any actual danger, but merlin doesn’t want them to know that so he becomes mr. hard as steel, i am emotionally stoic at all times, do not test me you bunch of rugrats

“classic army technique.”

ROXY

ROXY I WANT TO JUST HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS TT.TT

aannnnddd charlie, also

who we might’ve found sympathy for if we knew aaannyytthiinnggg else about his backstory

like, could he just be Like That, yeah

but most people i know who are assholes like that are that way because their parents were first /shrug/

can hardly fault the dude for turning out like that when poison was all he was given to drink

anyone else a hundred percent positive they would’ve drowned in the first trial

i would absolutely have panicked and bit it

but then again, i’m not kingsman material, i’m roanoke

and if this is the exact same test that merlin and harry went through, does that mean there might be some weird drowning trauma hidden back in there that’s just ANOTHER thing we’re not gonna talk about?

(yes the correct answer is yes)

god that’s such an american response to the problem though

glass can’t cause problems if it’s in a million pieces!

“yeah you can wipe those smirks off your faces…”

i wonder if there was ever a situation where a trainee actually drowned

and i don’t mean like amelia, i mean some poor kid who just failed the test

merlin knows how to put the fear of god in people though!

and mark strong, very handsome, yes, very scary, also yes

he and colin both look like they’re 80 percent leg in every single scene

harry literally had brain matter smatter ALL OVER HIS FACE and still somehow had the mental facilities to be aware of those dudes, leave a bomb and dive out of a window (and then escape said dudes)

billy badass, y’all

“just get it done.” okay, i took back what i said earlier, maybe he does see her as more of an assistant, less than a partner. their relationship is weird.

the puppy scene!

“it’s a bulldog innit?”

YASSSS the golden trio

because of what happened with our other canon charlie has become a weird character for me to watch, like, yeah, i “watch” charlie be himself in tss but the charlie i “see” is like—”our” charlie.

“bollocks!” and then he just runs with jb in his vest, makes me smile

aannddd we see valentine’s super cool factory

harry your hair gets so long <3

“water!” wow, who wants to bet that the fact he was instantly screaming means that maybe he’s gonna have some stuff to talk about in therapy later

roxy baby i’m sorry they made you hold the balloon and have to trust these dumbasses to not shoot you on accident

i would trust roxy to not shoot me

i love, love love valentine’s house

it’s gorgeous

set design is always such a cool way for filmmakers to include details about a character using pure aesthetics and i’m such a slut for it

tilde!

see also: one of the characters done the WORST by these movies imo!

the fact that she not only says no, she says no with enthusiasm and gets blatantly pissed, is one of the best insights we get into tilde’s character and then it just—gets wasted

like it takes three steps and then gets mowed down in the hallway like her guards

i would never be given the opportunity to be asked if i wanted an implant but i draw the line at having stuff put into my neck

awwww harry’s so proud!

that finger point “yeah, see, be more like your uncle”

merlin is SO TALL

“a bit much innit?”

he’s just—tapping a normal clipboard

… nobody wanna talk about how that’s a normal clipboard

anyway

i also love how they show him in professor sweaters for the beginning acts of the movie

definitely a softer aesthetic than one would guess for a dude who apparently did field missions sometime within the past decade or so, but i also have a theory that lee’s death directly contributed to merlin maybe being the man behind the screen as opposed to afield

because trauma is a thing but this is a FUN movie so we’re NOT gonna talk about it

“you’re gonna be all right. you’re top of the class!” this was the scene that made my mom a reggsy shipper

regardless of how you feel about them as a couple, their friendship is one of the best things about this movie, along with their dynamic with charlie, asjdnaskdjna WHY could we not have had a trio movie instead

eggsy you show-off “lemme just throw my arms up and dip outta this plane like it’s not a big deal”

roxy you can do it!

ugh, there goes my baby, off to have a near-death experience under merlin’s immediate supervision lmao

“good girl, rox, glad you made it!”

guys, they’re just kids.

i love this big group scene because it reminds us that these are just young folks, still

“my, my, you’re all very cheerful...”

“rufus, come on!” dude eggsy—and not even just eggsy, charlie and rox too--at least made an attempt at teamwork. you get points for that bro

but man, for all they know, they’re about to beef it in a very permanent way, i’d be freaking out too

merlin getting caught up in the drama

because again, he’s supposed to know that eggsy has a parachute

i think he wasn’t prepared for these two to get that close to not making it and that’s why we see him break face and drop his mug

*WHAM*

i HATE the sound of them landing

it’s not like you can hear bones breaking but it hurts me, guys

and then there were three

plus one daddy long legs quartermaster

“if you have a complaint you come here and you whisper it in my ear.”

yes SIR

“you need to take that chip off your shoulder.”

merlin coming’ in with the tough love portion of the kingsman core squad

there’s no reason for me to think harry’s persona was inspired by cruella de ville somehow but i do anyway

she reveals the mcdonald’s and valentine is just :D

idk if he was expecting a specific reaction or was just excited to see a reaction period

valentine is definitely a fun villain, which, given the tone of the movie, makes sense, it’s all supposed to be fun

one of the reasons i love kingsman is that it’s like, this golden ray of goofy cinematic fuckery in a world of grim!dark remakes and other superhero/spy films who are presented as more serious stories

“and thank you for such a—happy, meal.”

harry got a puppy smile

but see, then, here at his house he’s a lot more relaxed with gazelle! like, patting her butt, etc.

maybe what we see of their relationship is dependent on setting, because valentine himself has it compartmentalized?

perrrrrrhaps

“and i am never, EVER GOING TO AGREE!”

tilde, you deserved better, and i think all the weird hate you get from our ohana is unfair

you don’t twist a runner’s ankle before the race starts and then get mad when they don’t win

your story was mishandled from the beginning

asmr: hanging out with the golden trio watching worrying news in the kingsman trainee bunker room

the way he says “biblical sense” lmao

i have never been able to figure out if the way he says that line is supposed to infer spiritual respect, or lack of it, but i might be looking too into it

“it’s an acquired taste, mate.”

what—what would you even do if you were at a club and three people as hot as taron, ed and sophie all came up and start talking to you at the same time

like i know the target got up and left pretty quick because of the training exercise

but i’d be doing it because i’m ugly and if three hot people are all talking me up at a bar something is Bad and Wrong

which—the CAHONES on both eggsy and roxy

they both literally said “yeah i’m willing to die for this organization that hasn’t even given me a permanent place yet, what of it”

look at harry’s dimples in this scene, he is fighting a huge grin, he’s SO PROUD

i know that charlie’s response is supposed to be just more fodder into the “charlie hesketh is a tool” fire

but given that i’m not unconvinced that his home life wasn’t super shitty, like—

idk, this makes this scene a lot less fun to me. it makes it sad.

like, maybe charlie didn’t even want to be there deep down, maybe this was all for like, arthur, or his dad, or some other person he looked up to

and the way merlin looks when he tells charlie to go home, the way that he’s kinda grimacing? i’m wondering if he’s along the same kind of feeling. he’d know more about charlie’s history

have i also mentioned how much i love harry’s war room?

“YES harry!”

an evil plan is being born!

“true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

eggsy is still in his club clothes, so like—has he slept? y’all let those kids sleep after fucking drugging them, right? … guys?

“—when one is popping ones cherry.”

and eggsy is just CHEESING he is SO EXCITED

am i the only one who wants to learn more about the store clerk guy though?

he’s like the one person around who’s legit just there to run the shop

has no idea about any of the spy stuff happening

his name is donald, he’s married with three children and has two spaniels he loves

“THAT is sick.”

i would KILL for this room.

i don’t need anything in here for any reason but still

foreshadowing, foreshadowing, foreshadowing, more foreshadowing—

harry is such a NERD

“put it back, eggsy.”

the amount of self-control it would take to not have a sudden change in expression in that moment, omg

i wonder how THAT gets trained up in kingsman

“i guarantee it.” ha, get it, it’s a reference to that one commercial

“y’all—talk so funny.”

and this all means that they had a contact at that hat shop and got all that info to them before valentine got there, and somehow made sure he did end up buying a hat that they could also successfully put a bug on, how deep does this goooooo

“jack bauer?”

it says a lot about eggsy that out of all the jb’s it could’ve been, it was jack

uggghhhhhh of course they HAD to do this scene with eggsy with arthur

obviously harry couldn’t do it

i just think most of us would NOT be fans of arthur at this point in the movie, we’re all rooting for eggsy, like, he needs this moment with this other character because we gotta drive home that he’s an asshole

also—would have absolutely failed that test

and i’m not sorry at all

“welcome to kingsman--lancelot.”

i was really happy that it was a female agent who ended up getting the handle

aannddd more echoes of past scenes, man, nobody can say that this crew wasn’t intentional with their cinematography

when eggsy rolls the window down you can see his chest moving up and down, like, he is MAD

dean you asshole

so no wonder he gets so pissed that the car suddenly decides “nope, no, we’re not doing this, c’mon”

this entire conversation at harry’s house is—tense

and you don’t pick up on it the first time, i don’t think, but uh

i’m seeing it now

harry’s not just mad, he’s hurt, and eggsy’s furious but he’s also maybe regretting his actions.

it’s these two men who are rapidly trying to figure out their headspaces and trying to figure out how to navigate this situation with each other

and the way eggsy tries to apologize ;-;

kentucky is a beautiful state, actually

ohhhhhh y’alllll

we’re at the churrrccchhhh

we’re gettin’ closer to the coolest part of the movieeeee

it’s telling that gazelle was trying to make sure that they’d be safe

“… so hail satan, and have a lovely afternoon madame.”

the most metal lines colin firth has ever uttered on camera

the siren noise after it’s switched on bothers me in a way i can’t quite articulate

it might be because i have silent hill-colored trauma, who knows

FREEEEEE

BIIIRRRDDDDDDD

THE GREATEST ACTION TRACKING SHOT IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA

but then eggsy and merlin are reacting aaaanndddd it’s—a lot less fun

because you realize that they’re watching their bro mercilessly slaughter innocent people and not stopping

and still not stopping

but plot twist, i’m really glad they kept the track going, because if they’d suddenly picked *this* part of the scene to get serious, that would’ve brought the mood down so low that i don’t think there would’ve been any bouncing back

i just

how do people exist who aren’t attracted to harry hart

that man is a machine

and colin worked so hard to be able to do the scene himself, and that work SHOWS, that man cuts a FIGURE

i don’t know how they managed to somber it up just the right amount, either? maybe because they waited for the “fun action sequence” to be over so there wouldn’t need to be noise that had to be masked by a fun rock track?

“… what did you do to me.”

i cannot imagine what harry was feeling in that moment.

the way he spoke it was like he didn’t even have time to be afraid to die

“that tends to happen when you shoot somebody in the head. feels good, right?”

“no, it does not feel good!”

i love that exchange because we normally hear the opposite.

also—whiplash.

mark has this way of expressing grief without showing any—blatant signs.

like merlin’s not especially tearful, or crying, but his eyes look MASSIVE. and SAD. and he has just the tiiiiiniest tremor in his voice.

and eggsy, dude, like, we’ve all had it come on us really quick and suddenly it’s like your chest is pumping like a piston and when did it get so hard to breathe?

ARTHUR you REPULSE me

like look at how egssy’s shoulders sag when he realizes that arthur isn’t on his team

and in a way, this is eggsy’s final test as a kingsman trainee, imo

do you realize how quickly he had to assess what was happening and figure out what to do, all without arthur noticing?

“you are all alone. it is all up to you. remember all you have learned. good luck.”

it’s a very—almost horror-esque situation from that pov

and he passed with flying colors to go on his first true mission, because after he puts on the suit, that’s his visual cue of graduating, if that makes sense

that’s the knight putting on his armor.

“i’d rather be with harry. thanks.”

“so be it.”

*click*

me: *laughing at arthur’s big dumb stupid head*

… man i’d love a replica of that decanter and glasses set though

not to mention that eggsy recognized the flaws in arthur’s character and weaponized them, which is a whole other level of shit that isn’t necessarily easy; he knew that arthur carried the kind of pride that would leave him open

god, he looks so exhausted though when rox has him at gunpoint.

i think he was being pretty serious, about harry

sick helipaaaaaaad

that thing looks vaguely like a rock-‘em sock-‘em robot but in pieces though

more grandpa sweaters <3

man. you can see roxy swallow, you know she’s scared, but then she just sets her jaw and—

roxy baby you are the best i love you

i like the vintage vibe of the mountain lair

i think that’s another visual poke at the aesthetic themes of some of the older, og spy flicks out there

merlin looks SO LANKY walking back to the plane for some reason??

he stays until the last second for roxy. that’s love right there.

“a bespoke suit always fits.”

which can be good spiritual life advice too but that’s a separate conversation

“what the fuck is WRONG with you people?”

and his fuckin’ disco ball

uuggggghhhhh his speech reminds me of so many… “public figures” that i dislike

even though it’s obviously a bad thing that the chips are everywhere, i appreciate that phones and such are being shown in a positive manner (like, michelle talking to someone in the park, people at a ball game taking selfies, people at the beach, etc.) because i get so sick of that anti-tech boomer humor tbh

and the big reveal of eggsy in his suitttt

A KNIGHT IS BORN

“how’s the view?”

“hideous.”

you’re allowed to be crabby baby, you just let it out.

“lookin’ good, eggsy.”

“feelin’ good, merlin.”

merlin is so calm heading into the fortress and i don’t know if it’s because he’s very, very good at compartmentalizing and that’s genuinely how he is at the moment or if he’s that way through extreme self-control and effort

he can rock a pilot’s uniform though

just like eggsy can rock a suit

they’re both so handsome, help

i also wonder how eggsy’s feeling right then

like, i’d imagine that the pressure of having to perform a role to literally save the world would be enough to distract him from the bite of grief

that’s—probably enough to distract everyone, tbh

i a hundred percent believe there are breakdowns we don’t see

i wonder if eggsy told tilde he’d spoken to lindstrum(sp?) after everything was said and done

like, that’d be some kind of weird foreshadowing in hindsight

this scene is anxiety-inducing in a big way so to distract myself i imagine roxy as a mech pilot

dude i’d totally watch sophie in a role like that, like, let her be in a movie like pacific rim, she’d kick ass

and now we have The Chaos

otherwise known as that point when Everything Is Happening All At Once All The Time

also a thing that doesn’t exist in spy movies: hearing damage

because like his voice is right in eggsy’s ear and without it he’d have a LOT harder time surviving

imagine being an agent, merlin trying to talk to you, but something either hits your ear or goes off right next to it and suddenly it’s just silent

SYSTEM FAILURE

YAAASSSSS

WE WIN

GGOOOAAAAALLLLLL

THE AUDIENCE IS DOING THE WAVE

except JUST KIDDING

The Chaos 2 Electric Boogaloo!

merlin with a huge gun: hot, also, very scary

eggsy is just 10000% done

“this is mine. i’ll show you yours.”

i wonder who e man was supposed to be that valentine called.

like is that a reference to a real person that i just did’t catch?

… elon musk? maybe? idk

eggsy slides like a gd anime character

when he uses the rainmaker, it’s just like harry’s protecting him from somewhere else

(oh—wait, technically kentucky, i guess)

“merlin, i’m fucked.” you can hear the anger there. not only did he fail, but he—and everyone else—is about to die

but this? this is the pinnacle of eggsy showing himself as a kingman agent

he was staring death straight in the mouth and STILL

SOMEHOW

REMEMBERED THE IMPLANTS

so i guess if i say that the moment when he puts on the suit is when he becomes a true agent, then maybe this is the moment when he becomes galahad.

*bobs head to pomp & circumstance*

i remember getting a huge kick out of how colorful they made this

because in real life you know a bunch of people literally blowing up would be like—DISGUSTING

viscera everywhere

no fun rainbow mushroom clouds

“i’ve always wanted to kiss a princess.”

ANOTHER knight reference, very clever matthew

mmmmm Do Not Like that noise

aaaannndddd *that* line

which—maybe that’s mr. vaughn’s sense of humor, or what he thinks the sense of humor his core demographic has, idk

but it always kinda rubbed me the wrong way

the mass brawl scenes are edited so like--jarringly compared to the other fight scenes in the movie

that’s probably for a reason

also, a showdown to the tune of something disco: kind of another trope homage

this shot of gazelle is so sick, i love everything about it, she is so cool

this entire fight with eggsy is awesome tbh

we got a little bit of what gazelle can look like in combat earlier with tilde’s guards, but now we get this epic showdown seeing her at her full potential against someone who’s actually a challenge

and the way valentine is shouting for her to kick his ass from upstairs and yelling encouragement lmao that’s how real friends act when there’s a fight

daisy ;-; ugh, that’s the visual gutpunch that makes it juuuuuust serious enough by reminding us of the stakes

which is why it’s fitting that then we see the Slo-Mo K.O.

and that smile with the fun little chimes in the back, lmao

and eggsy, quick on his feet again byyyy being quick on gazelle’s feet—foot—whatever

man, impalement deaths are always fun.

coulda done without the vomiting but that’s also one of valentine’s quirks that makes him different from a cookie cutter villain

aaannddd have a heavy sigh from merlin

that dude needs a full-body massage and a drink

“is this where you say some really bad pun?”

reminder: i love that this movie is self-aware! i could not picture a super serious kingsman movie! i just picture something depressing!

there had to have been a better option besides—this, for this eggsy/tilde ending scene

i’m not saying i’m mad it ended with them fucking, i’m mad that the extent of the joke was anal and that was it.

also the idea of my boss possibly seeing me having sex would have me a little more concerned about the hardware on my face, but okay??

aannddd the tapes.

gah, we love visual throwbacks!

we love being able to see that despite all this growth and change, family remains very important to eggsy—he hasn’t changed into a different person, he has grown more into himself than ever before! THIS! THIS is eggsy unwin!

… GET READY FOR IT

time for tgc! (and to get into my roanoke feels, maybe, this is the nexus where our canons connect)

the BAGPIPES

okay

i did not stop to consider how unpleasant this was going to be to watch stoned but we’re gonna power through it and get through it together

if i cry i cry

the way the music swells into the main theme <3

and the perfect reveal for our boy eggsy!

reflected in gold, looking sharper than broken glass

and SUDDENLY CHARLIE

the pacing in tgc leads me to believe that matthew had huge plans for this movie, and a lot of cool stuff probably ended up on the cutting room floor for time

i also love that they brought charlie back

i love his voice box and his cool robot arm

and i’m not just saying that because it made it super easy to blend him into our canon, either, this is like—charlie’s evil twin in terms of his new aesthetic, the contrast is really cool

YYAASSSS THIS SCENE

WITH PRINCE PLAYING??

*CHEF’S KISS*

like we are IMMEDIATELY thrown back into the gold parts of it all, like how physics is a little broken so we can do cool shit like have a knockdown drag-out fight all within the space of a small cab

i wonder what would’ve hurt charlie worse—being thrown onto his organic side, or having all his weight land on his metal arm if it hadn’t disattached

but then he’s up and standing so i guess we’re fine?

MERLIN! <3

otherwise known as the character entrance that literally changed my life

i try not to think about it too much or i get weirded out

ANYWAY

(and to think i almost never even saw the movie)

Sick Car Chase, Bro

and as an american, like, everything’s on the opposite side to me, it’s stressful to watch a little bit

“i seem to remember in your training you were rather good at holding your breath.”

man, that’s uh—kind of a macabre thing to say, merlin

just a little bit

i’m not even gonna attempt to hold my breath to see if i’d survive this scene just assume i’m dead in that universe

we all live in a kingsman subarmine, a kingsman submarine, a kingsman submarine~~

“not boasting, but i trained him well enough that even he wouldn't mess that up.”

merlin are you okay??

gah, i love that chest-deep laugh though.

is it real love if they won’t crawl through the sewer to get to your house in time

i love that harry’s house looks basically the same

i know they talk about eggsy not wanting to change anything in the novelization but i haven’t read it yet so I’m not a hundred percent sure what all is in there

and we still get to see him hanging with his friends, and his girlfriend, like, this dude is still all about the family

“wwwwOOOOO!”

i love this group so much omg

for as much as he’s galahad, he’s still eggsy

the transition in the weed bag looks super cool

… oh, i guess watching this while high makes the main storyline hit a bit different

welp

i love that poppy is an aesthetic slut and really doesn’t give a shit about anyone’s opinion about how she makes her space

like, “i want a big 50s-style diner with a gourmet kitchen that i can cook people in, soooooo i’m getting one”

it’s also refreshing to see julianne moore in a bad guy role!

not that i’m super familiar with her filmography but i feel like i’ve mostly seen her cast as like a good guy?

i could be wrong

awwwww jet and bennie!

there’s so much to love about this set

cannibalism and the fact that she bulldozed jungle to build all this aside (suspend that belief!)

the breakfast sceeeeeene

it’s so bittersweet, for obvious reasons

and it’s more evidence that he’s not super ready to move on into new territory yet, like making new memories with tilde that ring close to home

“i wish i could have met him.”

and the way he has to turn away, ugh.

eggsy. i’m sorry.

tilde, i’m sorry, too. you had good intentions, but they lost against his pain.

michael gambdon! the new arthur we didn’t know we wanted until we got him.

charlie had a moral glo-down, it’s fine, happens to everybody

FFFFFF his imitation of merlin lmfao

man, poor charlie, like

you wake up, you can’t make a sound, your arm has been blown off and your family’s dead

like his reaction to that entire scenario isn’t entirely unrealistic, i’m just saying

also LOOK AT ROX

omg everyone in this movie can wear the FUCK out of suit, y’all

man, i’ve gotten a few tattoos that were exquisitely painful—i can’t imagine how much it would suck to do it with literal molten metal

dude this means clara laid on her stomach and probably screamed at the floor as she got hers D:

this kinda—riffs off of hannibal, a teeny-tiny bit

like we’re so overloaded with the aesthetics and behavior of a certain character so it’s like, we forget about the much darker parts untillllll there’s a mood change and we’re looking at that dude’s legs, to the burger this other dude puts in his mouth, and thinking “oh, oh dear, ew”

i love eggsy in the orange jacket <3 snaps for the wardrobe crew across this series.

tilde’s face, omg, she was heart-eyeing so bad. and like, that little proud nod at her dad (who was of course being Like That on purpose)

and roxy, coming in in the clutch, you are tonight’s MVP

uggghhhhh i hate this part

because again, it’s just--a bunch of bad shit colliding outside of anyone’s control

(it was also really jarring seeing the war room with blank walls the first time i watched this)

like—granted, you should maybe not touch stuff that’s not yours, but…

like we *just* saw eggsy and brandon in a very casual, intimate scene with each other, how can anyone get angry with brandon?

this is all stress-inducing

i remember being in the theater watching this and feeling like i was watching some awful slow motion car wreck and i couldn’t look away

idk what other story i would’ve wanted to see but i was NOT a fan of Sudden Death For Christmas, especially concerning roxy!

and poppy is such a *bright* villain, not just because of taste but because of her personality, which is another weird thing to have next to the cannibalism

gaaahhhh charlieeee your arm is so cooooool

this shot is gorgeous and incredibly depressing.

what do you do?

gah, and the way merlin comes out of the dark, like

i probably would’ve drawn a gun on him too

“you think *i* would?”

this scene shows 1. how much he trusts eggsy to not shoot him, and/or 2. how good merlin is at compartmentalizing, because this is an even bigger blow than harry’s death, and he’s following the protocol like it’s an art form

i hope that we see some reference to this safe in the next movie, that’d be a cool way to tie the narratives all together

“i suppose that must be upper class humor. … i don’t get it.”

reminder, merlin is working class.

if you’re a ho for this fandom and went and bought this whiskey specifically because of this movie clap your hands *clap clap*

and they proceed to just get HAMMERED

“country rooaaddsss… take me hoooooome…”

another reminder: kentucky is a beautiful state!

i would love to tour a whiskey distillery, that’d be super cool

“shame it’s not scotch”

again, with his weird night vale clipboard.

who would win: two highly-trained kingsman agents vs. one (1) cowboy

channing tatum, ladies and gentlemen!

“y’all look damn sharp!”

i am forever gonna be mad we didn’t get more of tequila in this movie, and not just because of roanoke either, but like, “that dog don’t hunt,” whatever he has in his mouth sealed a leak in a barrel, and it took him all of two minutes to incapacitate both eggsy AND merlin? hello??

i’m glad we’ll get to see more of him in the another movie.

“you know why the measurement of alcohol is called proof?”

just dumping it on their laps, so disrespectful

“—and you can go fuck yourself.”

eggsy fucking just giggling.

these two doofuses

also it’s hot to see merlin be sassy ngl

“HARRY!”

these guys have been fast thinkers in stressful situations but as it turns out, people being unexpectedly not dead can kinda fuck with your day

aaannddd halle berry, everybody! i love ginger ale omg

(and so does merlin, he is instantly enchanted)

;-; this reunion scene

i don’t know how colin manages to be two completely different people at once

like there’s a huge difference between former agent galahad and harry hart the lepidopterist and i can’t explain it

i really, really hope we see at least one little hint at kinsman’s relationship with statesman in the new movie, i just think it’d be really cool

in roanoke canon, there’s an office rumor that the nanobot tech used by statesman was influenced directly by the same technology developed by dr. wernicke in the outlast games. i still think it’s one of my better crossover ideas.

also

god bless whoever decided to get elton john involved with all this?? because i was DELIGHTED

i love poppy’s wardrobe as much as i love her weird 50s-land in the jungle

i also really love the main statesman theme? it reminds me of all those fun epic westerns

jeff bridges! :D

champ vaguely reminds me of my dad

“can you imagine us in the tailor business?”

and he’s super quick with the questions. my headcanons for champ are all over the place but one that i really like is that he was maybe a sheriff or in law enforcement before being recruited by statesman.

aaanndddd pedro pascal, everybody!

otherwise known as *another* character that this movie did dirty, that’ll probably come up in this later

imagine being harry hart, not remember all of yourself, and suddenly your entire room just—fills with water

that had to have been so terrifying, and it was just as hard for merlin to watch (and possibly remember something unpleasant)

and like

that sounds like SUCH bullshit, too, like “yeah we thought if you came close to drowning it would help”

which, is that what merlin meant, no, but is that what harry heard, probably

enter jb the second ;-; <3 sweet baby

tilde’s trying so hard. i see you!

aha, penis jokes.

and all of the unnecessary weird festival stuff, uuggghh

there are so many different things they could have done, like, all of this is just weird from the get-go

first of all, whiskey striking out? hello?? saying no to a man like mr. pascal???

not realistic

the way whiskey takes a shot as he walks away lmao, relatable

and poor clara, like, it’s not like she was asking for any of this D:

hmmmmmmm don’t know how i feel being a stoner watching other stoners get this blue rash thing when i know it kills some of themmmmmmm

i love charlie in his newsboys cap!

poppy has a little bit of a point. like, booze is way more dangerous than pot, as is tobacco. like i would never advocate anyone try meth or heroin, but i think weed and some hallucinogenics get bad wraps.

seeing a dude get torn in half in the reflection of elton john’s sunglasses is the surprising bit of gore we need to remember that oh, yeah, the villain isn’t fun, she’s a murderer

uuggghhhh the TENT SCENE

and, look, i’ll defend tilde forever, but i did NOT like the weird marriage ultimatum. i still think it’s a dick move, like, in that situation either decide to trust your boyfriend or break up with him

the tent interior is super cool-looking

and like, man, he tried, he tried to bounce D:

/sigh/ work hazards, i guess

mmmmmm we don’t need any of what’s happening on screen right now so i’ll just sit patiently and wait for it to be over

and like, there’s nothing funny about merlin and ginger being able to hear everything that’s going on, it’s so grosssss, poor ginger has to have heard some shit before to be so nonchalant about it

everything about this sucks

and then he tries going to the one person who he needs the most and having to deal with him still existing in some state between alive and dead

his body is here

but harry is not

“maggots turn into flies, perhaps you mean larvae!” :D he is SO CUTE

but this entire conversation, with harry still not remembering and eggsy trying so hard to reach him through the fog, is so depressing

like, i’d need a drink too

*and* a joint

i’m seeing my coping mechanisms on screen here folks

the way he comes up with the idea is kinda ingenious though

like, he’s looking at stuff to make himself bummed on purpose, but therein he finds the thing he needs to fix the issue

harry’s smile when eggsy hands him the puppy TT.TT

and then eggsy just becomes a stone cold motherfucker with no emotions

“no one’s sick enough to shoot a puppy!”

hi, flashback!harry

and as SOON as he remembers himself, it’s like his eyes are different, something about him looks like it did before kentucky

“… eggsy.”

one of my favorite movie hugs

and eggsy has to stand on his tiptoes because harry’s so tall

like yeah merlin and harry’s reunion isn’t as overtly emotional, but there’s definitely a sense of joy and relief there.

harry my baby ;-; much better with the sunglasses (and merlin was so close to telling him he looked spectacular)

“now is that any way to welcome a visit from outta town, moonshine?”

he! tried! to! defend! harry!

i hate that jack got a villain story line!

we could’ve had something so much better and infinitely more compelling!

“hurrrr durrrr morgan you just like redemption arcs because you don’t want anybody being a villain permanently” i also like them because sometimes that’s better writing, y’all sit down

“that is NOT what i call a kentucky welcome.”

i love so many things happening in this scene, like

we get to see whiskey kick ass, like yassss gimme those sweet action sequences and give us some character development by showcasing his fighting style

and also NOBODY shits on harry for not being able to handle the situation. both eggsy and merlin were like “dude we’re still celebrating the fact that you’re alive tbh it’s fine if you’re not back up to speed right this second”

you can really tell that this was penned by british people writing american slang because having grown up in the southern half of the u.s. i have never ONCE heard ANYONE say shit like “i feel like a tornado in a trailer park” lmao

and poppy’s fun little death threat infomercial, so great

“what have you done to me you FUCKING BITCH” oof, that’s a mood

!!!!! gonna be honest i kinda forgot that bruce greenwood plays the president

okay but save lives, legalize isn’t an entirely bad idea tbh

hnnnnnnng the scenes about people not being able to get into the hospital hits different in the year of our lord 2020 huh

… y’all i’m being weirded out by all this hospital scenes, this is unpleasant

i, too, wish i could pull a tequila and just be slipped into a chilly coma until shit wasn’t so fucked up

“the fact is, this presidency has won the war on drugs!”

THIS SCENE!

look, y’all can come into my inbox and call me a pothead, or a lazy stoner, or some third insult, but this dude’s VP is bringing up some very, VERY important points when it comes to any kind of discussion about drug use in the u.s.

am i drug-friendly, sure, but i’m more friendly to the notion that we stop demonizing addicts/users

harry looks fucking SCANDALIZED when he sees champ spit into his spittoon thing

i don’t think whiskey even brought up harry not being ready to return to the field in an insulting manner, he literally just saw him get his ass beat in a bar, but eggsy’s faith and loyalty are up there in the category of unstoppable force/immovable object, so here we are

am i the only one curious about the whole charlie x clara thing? because he’s definitely grown up a bit by tgc, and i wanna know how much of that might be because of clara

and he MISSES, e for effort harry

“so sorry about this—“ WHAM

and now that guy can say colin firth busted his face with a fire extinguisher, which is very cool

“*you’re* wu ting feng?” “… yes?”

“you motherFUCKER” ohhhhhh charlie maaaaaad

ginger and merlin though, #couplegoals

the only person more pissed off about the hallucinations than everyone else is harry

imagine remembering that you’re one of the top people in your field and you just keep seeing imaginary butterflies everywhere

like, yeah, i’d be pissed at not being able to do what i knew i was capable of, too

if it wasn’t careening towards a random retirement center, getting stuck in a wildly rotating gondola thing could be fun

nice tuesday afternoon activity

i would loved to have seen more galahad/whiskey field stuff

“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me—“

meanwhile, in the continuing adventures of eggsy and jack: shit goes from bad to worse like a formal spiral only going downward

their expressions as their both just SCREAMING always make me laugh

”that’s the first decent shit i’ve had in three weeks.” <- as does that line, that old dude’s just telling it like it is

eggsy’s comment about the antidote just reminds me of when boromir looks a the ring and says something like “all this for such a tiny thing”

dun dun DUN what are THOSE? hints that whiskey may not be who we think he is??

great. so excited about that. i say, rolling my eyes into the sun

“i’ll fix their wagons.” no one says that matthew!

i. love. this. scene. because now we get cool gun tricks AND the second most metal thing that happens with a lasso in this movie (we’re coming up on the most metal thing)

like please please PLEASE show us more lasso tricks in the statesman movie

“well thank fuckin’ christ i didn’t need any backup.” i wonder if whiskey’s acting angrier than he actually is to throw off the fact that he might’ve caught harry’s glance at him betraying suspicion

RIP jack

imagine the timeline where whiskey was never a bad guy and harry hart just blew a dude away for NO REASON

now THAT would be an interesting movie

because harry and eggsy, for all they went through in the first film, never had a conflict where it was harry in the position of mangling the ropes up

but of course eggsy would never, never tell merlin what happened because he’s still ultimately on harry’s team

damn, charlie, literally blowing up your girlfriend seems kinda extreme

“THIS is vital!”

and here we get to see the biggest difference between merlin and ginger

now, i know there’s extra stuff in the novelization about their relationship and i can’t talk about it because i have no idea what’s in the book

but!

i DO still headcanon as merlin quitting fieldwork after lee’s death

his comment is either what he genuinely believes, or maybe what he fashioned his beliefs into after stepping down from his field role, and ginger is just as sincere in her desire to break into that aspect of working for statesman

it’s like seeing the same character but in two points in time, and it’s really cool

that balance would’ve also been a fun aspect of their romantic relationship to explore but alas! ’twas not to be

colin and mark could both play slenderman

look at those limbs.

gracious.

also this facetime scene with eggsy and tilde T.T

that has to be so terrifying to watch when you know the steps of death and what they look like as they get closer

but it also puts a fire under eggsy though

“i’m leaving with, or without you.”

and of course they’re both gonna go because that’s NOT characteristic eggsy behavior based off of how we know he views family/squad

that’s how they know he’s being for cereal

uugggggGGHHHH and THAT FORESHADOING

stacey pruitt, attorney at lawwwww

hmmmmmmmmm

what does this conversation between poppy and the president remind me of

gonna just sigh into the void

and now we have harry and eggsy on the jet along with the BIGGEST LIE harry hart has ever told in his LIFE

kingsman and statesman aesthetics at least tend to be the same color schemes. lotta golds, yellows. browns.

eggsy, yeah, it’s a bummer your gf dumped you, but this relationship wasn’t very well-developed or written so i’m not as bummed as i could be

“… and in that moment, all i felt was loneliness and regret.”

harry shut the FUCK UP

you felt NOTHING??

you weren’t thinking of, gee, i dunno, EGGSY? or MERLIN?? your MOM???

like these lines from him just seem to come out of left field and i can’t even halfway suspend my belief long enough to come close to believing him

like mr. hart you just gonna be like that in front of jesus and everybody????

so, yeah, of course he’s on board with saving tilde! because he recognizes (apparently just right that second) that “having something to lose is what makes life worth living”

and i don’t know if they felt like there need to be some weird, deeply contrasting reason for harry to swing around to being in support? or something?

i’m forever pissed about this characterization and i don’t even know if i’m expressing my anger in a way that makes it easy to understand lmao this is fine, i’m fine, literally not a single person in this fandom ever believed those lines anyway, it’s fine

moving on

... and even if they WERE true then honestly that just makes me more excited about butterfly knife, because that means that harry acknowledged both the bad side of the coin, and also the side with rae on it (which would mean seeing her for who she was and also recognizing his feelings for what THEY were) and drew the ultimately correct conclucision that love! is! always! worth! it! let that shit in like a welcome guest in the home of your heart, and they will stay as long as you let them!

as SOON as he wakes up ginger looks a thousand percent done lmao

and the “process” that they use to wake people up or whatever is—interesting

because all it is, is trauma turned into a tool which is kind of a weird concept to see in a “fun spy movie” imo

and this is one of what i feel were like only what, two? glimpses we get into whiskey’s Tragic Backstory

and the other scene isn’t a glimpse it’s just straight up exposition in his dialogue :/

jack, i’m sorry, you deserved better than this as a character

i’m sure the name “silver pony” is a reference to something but i don’t know what

“lookin’ GOOD merlin!” “feelin’ good, eggsy.”

ladies and gentlemen when i tell you that i lost my pool-noodle mind seeing him put on that suit watching this in a theater, i--

ANYWAY

because now that i have the horrible burden of having seen these movies a million times

i know it’s more symbolic

he stays in sweaters so long, as an agent of the background, because he walked a man to his death

so it figures when he puts the armor back on for the first time in ages

he walks to his own

uuuggghhhh the minesweeper

i hate this

i hate it

i hate everything about the feelings i’m having while this is happening

*beep-beep*

“you move, we die.”

i HATE IT

but like, i don’t know, how preferable is this to the end scene we almost got, which was merlin dragging his newly-legless corpse through a doggy door?

because it’s been literally multiple years and i still have no fucking idea

they’re both horrible in their own terrible, awful ways

damn, matthew, it’s not often someone manages to come up with multiple versions of a thing and have every version be so gut-wrenchingly horrific, i’m truly impressed and completely disgusted

“do as your told!”

god

everyone just going through twenty shades of Bad Feelings in the space of fifteen seconds here in the jungle

and colin and taron do this thing where it’s like—their eyes go dead? like, there was a light here, it’s gone now

it SUCKS

oh no

ALMOST HEAVEN

WEST VIRGINIA

… fuck

LIFE IS OLD THERE

OLDER THAN THE TREES

“… singing?”

this sucks.

this sucks this sucks this sucks

MOUNTAIN MAMAAAAA

TAKE ME HOOOOME

COUNTRY ROOOADDSSSSS

*THUNK*

and he even took off his glasses before he hit him, he had his end coming towards him and he was still a gentleman

TAKE ME HOOOME

COUNTRY RROOOOAAAADDDSSSSS

his EYES AT THE END

FUCK

… okay i had to get up and go for a lil’ walk

anyway

(and again, roanoke canon, fucking fixing’ shit left and right, because we’re the goat)

harry and eggsy look MURDEREROUS

MERLIN SAID KNOCK YOU OUT

it DID make the grand ending fun action scene a lot more satisfying

because like, without merlin there, that means harry and eggsy get to go full feral

poppy you big idiot you just robbed them of all their motivation to show any kind of restraint and now everybody’s gonna get blown up

except for those dudes who get kicked by elton john

which would be an HONOR first of all

(the part where eggsy’s using his gun and shield vaguely reminds me of the specialist, @bloodofthepen)

and harry and eggsy just—they’re drift compatible! that’s it! the teamwork! the grace! the flow! my god!

eggsy vs. charlie: round like 4 if you count the first movie

it was also satisfying to see charlie’s new arm in action

we love fun robotics and gadgetry in this house

colin firth is really just not afraid to throw himself full force down a bowling lane huh

ugh, seeing charlie slam eggsy over and over again makes my chest hurt

the sound mixing on all these films is top notch which isn’t always a good thing T.T

ROCKETMAN~~~

that shit will never NOT be funny

a wild elton john appeared!

eggsy is indestructible, he can walk off anything

but charlie, charlie i feel really sorry for, imagine being attacked by a superior version of your own limb, i.e. something that you can’t exactly quickly remove from yourself, that would be TERRIFYING

harry + elton = dream teaaaammmm

“darling if you save the world, you can have a backstage pass.”

i love you elton john :(

i would have been the most OBNOXIOUS hype man in the background of the entire kingsman vs. poppy land face-off

“let’s make this fair.” eggsy you’re fuckin’ cheeky

and poor harry, all that lank just getting tossed like noodles

i thought the robot puppers were very cool

“for the record charlie i’m more of a gentleman than you’ll ever be.”

mmmmmm do NOT like this death for charlie

SUPER glad we fixed it

and another scene where i can’t stand the sound mixing T.T it makes me cringe every time

“i don’t consider genocide especially lady-like.”

and are we gonna talk about how merlin knew how to make heroin?

… no?

nobody wanna talk about that?

ugh that houndstooth dress is so PRETTY though

high!poppy is weirdly comedic for all of two seconds and then it stops being funny real fast

whiskey D:<

this is so dumb

this is all so, so dumb

“our agencies were founded to uphold peace, to protect the innocent—“

there’s that nobility again

is what happened to whiskey fucked up, yes

i’m not saying we have to completely remove that from his story

i just

literally anything but this would have been preferable

and then HOT DOG it’s one of my favorite shots in the movie with the whip where harry’s just chucking it away from his face like a bamf, YES

how great is this cover, let’s be honest

like, i’d be lying if i said i didn’t enjoy this scene visually

plus

HARRY GETTING PEGGED RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH A FRYING PAN

gracious

it’s one fluid tracking shot, so kinda in alignmentment with what we’re used to

some people get annoyed with repeated junk but when you can do it THIS WELL you can get away with anything

but then jack

you did NOT desert that

yes, you were in dire need of an attitude adjustment but jesus

“this is for you, merlin.”

/ugly sobbing/

and tilde is all betterrrrrr ;-;

you guys did itttttt

COUNTRY ROOOAAADDSS

TAKE ME HOOOOOOMMEEEE

TO THE PLAAAAAACCCEEEEE

I BELOOOOONNGGGG

and the scene with jamal and liam T.T #wholesomecontent

poor tequila, after i knew that you would have a bigger role in another movie, i was less annoyed by the fact that they iced you so quick into the story

#FOX2020

“… now we’re brothers, working side by side.”

spoiler alert i actually love champ’s toast

“y’all shittin’ in high cotton now” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

and ginger becomes the new whiskey like she always wanted T.T

merlin is proud from heaven (or london, depending on which canon)

iiiiiii have mixed feelings about the whole wedding scene, which is probably because i take HUGE issue with the weird proposal ultimatum thing that happened earlier

but the way eggsy says “not a doubt in my mind,” he says it so seriously and i remember that tilde almost died

there was such good intention packed into this couple that was so badly written that i just

augh

“but it is perhaps the end of the beginning.”

there’s ***merlin! lmao i see you dude, they did you dirty

look

i was pissed off about a lot of things that happened in this thing but i was honestly hype seeing tequila at the very end walking into the tailor shop

like, yeah, i’ll stick around to see what happens in this universe but i’m gonna complain the whole time

GO JACK RABBIT

RUNNING THROUGH THE WOODS

and again, i almost didn’t see this movie.

… i think about that morgan sometimes.

hope she’s doin’ okay.

…

she’s probably not. D:

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honeybelon · 4 years ago

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⌠ KATHRYN BERNARDO, 22, DEMIGIRL, SHE/HER/THEY/THEM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, HONORA BELONIA! according to their records, they’re a SECOND year, specializing in LINGUISTICS, CULTURE, AND KNIFE FIGHTING SKILLS, SWORD TRAINING, PRECISION SHOOTING, FIREARMS & SWAT TRAINING ; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (clear film for highlighting textbooks without mess, constant eye-rolling, fancy by iggy azalea on the flute, and shopping bags haphazardly strewn across a meticulously arranged bed ). when it’s the cancer’s birthday on 07/17/1997, they always request their CREMA DE FRUTA from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ jess, 21, she/her, cst ⍀

technically my sixth babe!!! and they’re not leaving after a semester!!! ( unless :eyes: .... im kidding jksdsf )

background: born honora liezl belonia soliman in malolos, bulacan in the philippines to gelo and petra soliman. honora is the second of three sisters, the others being aira (the oldest) and sonora (the youngest).

and besides the occasional faded memory deep inside their brain, that’s pretty much all what honey remembers about their family. because by the time she was five years old, her maternal grandparents walter and mona belonia had taken her with them back to the us. jacksonville, florida to be exact. and since then, honora ( lovingly nicknamed nora at this point ) was the pride and joy by walter and mona.

while mona was a bit uptight, she still tended and cared for nora. when nora wanted to try cheerleading, mona put her in. walter, whose attention wasn’t always on the two since he worked many, many jobs, always tried to be there during nora’s performances. besides cheerleading, nora became interested in dance, having watched the movie “honey” and decides to nickname herself after the main character since it still works with ‘honora’. ( and bc ‘nora’ made her feel a bit old )

growing up, there wasn’t anything too unusual. at least, not to honey. however, walter had begun to teach her how to forge signatures and handwriting as a form of bonding, along with imitating pop culture figures to near accuracy. during the summers, esp when she was younger, they would play pretend and by the end of their playtime, the three would have cash or free items to take home.

mona, on the other hand, put honey into the ‘strangest’ classes and workshops. by the time honey was in their teens, she had double the certifications and qualifications than anyone else in the immediate area. she did like having them on her resume since she worked part-time in high school when she didn’t have cheer stuff going on ( babysitting, dog-walking, and tutoring )

when not doing cheer or work, honey is usually preoccupied with dancing. with the rise of social media and youtube as they grew up, they too post dance videos and had a foot in the online dance community and half of her friends were also in the scene.

as senior year approached, honey naturally began applying to colleges. having received acceptances from various colleges (and a scholarship for cheer at U.F.), honey .. wanted to go in another direction. since she’d been nurturing a dance career, honey had wanted to go to l.a. to try and make their mark. she was talented enough and she knew in her head that the skills she’s learned with her grandparents meant she’s equipped enough.

but her grandparents didn’t quite like it. and that’s when mona came clean about the family legacy.

mona had been a gallagher girl in the past. she met walter soon after graduating, after he had pocketed her coin purse and she caught his wrist before he could get away, it was love. walter doesn’t quite do those things now ( he works “legitimate” jobs now ) and mona is long retired from her agency.

she had explained that she wanted to take aira, since it was clear that petra had no plans to pursue the world of espionage, but petra refused. when honey was born, they tried again. still, petra refused. when sonora was born, they still tried and again, petra refused. mona explained that petra just didn’t see the importance of keeping it in the family. taking honey away had been a test, at first, for petra and gelo. but when they only called mona about honey a mere week after they had taken her, well ...

needless to say, honey didn’t take it too well. honey felt like a pawn. but at the same time, she remembers pretty much her entire life with her grandparents and realizes that while it started out so sour, it turned out .. nicely. if it wasn’t for the fact that mona has pulled honey into the world of espionage by forcing her hand ( mona turning in an application for gallagher on her behalf, for one ), the three could’ve parted ways nicely.

[ put in another page on how honey dealt with / what she went through during the first arc sjdhs ]

personality: honey ... is annoying. she’s basically if drew and rizo had a lovechild and then trained by lisanna. sort of. the thing is, she’s actually really chill. she does the annoying act on purpose to sike other people out, which helps her own hidden insecurities as a gallagher student that didn’t go to prep school. honey’s mostly over it now though. mostly.

uhhhh quirks? most likely to leave drunken voicemails in various languages, aspiring cosplayer but cant sew for shit so rip honey’s dreams, closet weeb, favorite voice to imitate is probably the man that says “let’s get ready to ruuumble” during boxing matches, reads anything she can use in a conversation, also very likely to stay up to date with what the gossip blog says and very likely to let what it says influence what she thinks about you, “don’t tell me to shut up, you shut up, i can’t shut up because i still have things to say and you don’t so --” yknow..like..knock her out pls

the tru bi icon, but only bc she rocks the colors whenever she can

wcs at the moment:

hookups ( a first for my babes i think??? i call it growth!! )

close friends who she gossips like hell with

exes!!!!

rivals or enemies

anyone who has swung by florida or jacksonville.....if you’ve met, honey’s hard 2 forget!!! < thats a good ass motto i luv it

anything, honestly. this took too long ksjh ily ty for reading!!! hmu <3

#mine #gallagher:intro

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blognime444 · 3 years ago

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Autobiography

Hi my name is Lhiane Ramos and I was born in Imus City, December 4 2002. I am the eldest and my brother is 1 year old. The two towns where I have resided most of my life are Imus City and Taguig City. Different events in my life have directed this path depending on the circumstances I found myself in.

I grew up in a filipino family where the provider, my mother, was susceptible to layoffs every year. I quickly learned about the powers of an employer and a union’s visions. Unemployment insurance, as it was called back then, was a subject of discussion over many dinners. This way of life caused a great deal of stress for the family.

Fast Forward to now, I'm 18 years of age and I'm doing great. As a matter of fact, i'm graduating senior high school this coming week and i'm very grateful and happy because i've come this far.

Biography

Ariana Grande Biography (1993–)

Ariana Grande is a sitcom-star-turned-pop music sensation, known for such hit songs as "Problem," "Bang Bang," "Dangerous Woman" and "Thank U, Next."

Who Is Ariana Grande?

Ariana Grande began performing onstage when she was a child. Her involvement in a Broadway play at age 15, followed by some small TV parts, helped her land the role of Cat on TV's Victorious. She followed that with the spinoff Sam & Cat and then dove headfirst into a chart-topping musical career, releasing five albums: Yours Truly (2013), My Everything (2014), Dangerous Woman (2016), Sweetener (2018) and Thank U, Next (2019).

Early Years

Grande was born on June 26, 1993, in Boca Raton, Florida, to Edward Butera, a graphic designer, and Joan Grande, a businesswoman. She took to singing and acting at a young age and made her way onto the local theater scene before she was a teenager. Her first big break came in 2008 when the 15-year-old landed the role of Charlotte in the Broadway production of 13, a play focusing on life growing up in New York City. The early role led to accolades, and Grande won a National Youth Theatre Association Award.

Two years later, she appeared in the musical Cuba Libre and had a small role on a TV show called The Battery’s Down.

Television Roles

Grande landed her breakout role in the Nickelodeon series Victorious. Victorious was set at a performing arts high school, and Grande was cast as a goofy aspiring singer-actress named Cat Valentine. While busy with the show, Grande nevertheless pursued a musical career, making her first appearance on a record with the Victorious soundtrack. And in 2011, Grande released the single "Put Your Hearts Up," a pop song aimed at the hearts of her young Victorious audience. The show's devoted fan base voted Victorious Favorite TV Show at the 2012 Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards.

When Victorious went off the air in 2012, Grande's character Cat Valentine survived. She went to star in the Nick spin-off Sam & Cat, co-starring iCarly’s Jennette McCurdy. Sam &

Cat wasn’t on long when rumors began to swirl that Grande wasn’t particularly enjoying the experience, and the show came to an abrupt end after 35 episodes (2013-14).

Albums and Songs

'Yours Truly' & 'My Everything'

“The Way” was the first single from Grande’s debut album, Yours Truly, a record that also featured the hits "Baby I" and "Right There." The album, produced by super-producer Babyface, showed a maturing Grande, and 1990s soul influences from pop diva Mariah Carey. The 2014 release My Everything sold 169,000 copies in its first week, debuting at No. 1. The single “Problem,” featuring Australian rapper Iggy Azalea, preceded the album release and debuted at No. 3 on Billboard’s Hot 100, selling more than 400,000 copies upon its release. “Break Free” with Zedd and “Love Me Harder” with The Weeknd followed, each climbing toward the top of the charts.

"Bang Bang," "One Last Time"

During the summer of 2014, Grande teamed up with Jessie J and Nicki Minaj on the single “Bang Bang,” a track that debuted at No. 6 and peaked at No. 3 in the United States. The album spawned another hit single “One Last Time,” which reached number 13 on the US Billboard Hot 100. Grande had three hit singles from My Everything on the Billboard chart at the same time.

Dangerous Woman'

In 2015 Grande released Christmas & Chill, a holiday album, and the single "Focus," which debuted at number seven on the Billboard's Hot 100. In February 2016, she released her third album Dangerous Woman, and the title track debuted at number 10 on the Hot 100 that March. She made music history with the track's success, becoming the first artist to have the lead singles from her first three albums debut in the Top 10. Dangerous Woman, which debuted at number two on the Billboard 200, also features collaborations with Nicki Minaj, Lil Wayne, Macy Gray and Future.

'Sweetener'

Grande returned to the charts in April 2018 with "No Tears Left to Cry," the catchy, upbeat response to the previous year's Manchester concert bombing. She followed in June with the dance track "The Light Is Coming," featuring Minaj; dropped the sultry "God Is a Woman" in mid-July; and delivered "Breathin" in September. The four releases were included in her highly anticipated album Sweetener, which debuted in mid-August, as was a track about her whirlwind romance with Saturday Night Live star Pete Davidson. The overall success of Sweetener led to her first Grammy win, for Best Pop Vocal Album, in February 2019.

'Thank U, Next'

Grande quickly returned to the studio to produce her fifth album, Thank U, Next. The title track hit airwaves in early November 2018, and another chart-topper, "7 Rings," arrived in

January 2019. The album debuted in February to strong praise, alongside a new single, "Break Up with Your Girlfriend, I'm Bored."

In April 2019 the 25-year-old songstress demonstrated her drawing power by becoming the youngest performer ever to headline Coachella, as well as just the fourth woman to earn the honor. Her collaborations from around this time include "Rule the World," with 2 Chainz, "Monopoly," with Victoria Monét, and "Boyfriend," with Social House. Later that year Grande joined Miley Cyrus and Lana Del Rey for the single "Don't Call Me Angel," from the Charlie's Angels soundtrack.

Grande continued with the collaborations into 2020, her joint effort with Justin Bieber on "Stuck With U" hitting the Billboard top spot in May before she joined Lady Gaga for "Rain on Me" later in the month.

'Positions'

Her third album in just two years, Grande released positions in October 2020 to generally positive reviews.

Bombing at Dangerous Woman Tour

In 2017 Grande performed the title track for the soundtrack of the live action movie Beauty and the Beast. In February of that year, she began her Dangerous Woman tour across North America and then Europe. On May 22, 2017, tragedy struck after Grande finished a concert in Manchester, England and a suicide bomber detonated a bomb at the exit of the concert hall, killing 22 people and wounding 116, including many young adults and children. "All acts of terrorism are cowardly... but this attack stands out for its appalling sickening cowardice, deliberately targeting innocent, defenseless children and young people who should have been enjoying one of the most memorable nights of their lives," British Prime Minister Theresa May

said after the attack.

The pop star responded to the horrific act on Twitter.

Less than a day after the attack, Grande suspended her Dangerous Woman tour. She returned to Manchester 13 days after the attack to perform a benefit concert on June 4 for the bombing victims, enlisting friends and fellow superstars to perform including Bieber, Cyrus, Katy Perry, Liam Gallagher, Chris Martin, and Pharrell Williams. Before the concert, Grande visited fans who had been injured in the attack, and she also offered 14,000 free tickets to people who had been at the May 22 concert.

Grande resumed her tour on June 7th in Paris, posting in Instagram: "First show back tonight. Thinking of our angels every step of the way. I love you with all my heart. Grateful for and incredibly proud of my band, dancers and entire crew. I love you. I love you."

The following year, the singer revealed that she was still feeling the effects of post-traumatic stress disorder from the event. "It's hard to talk about because so many people have

suffered such severe, tremendous loss," she told British Vogue. "I don't think I'll ever know how to talk about it and not cry."

Awards

Among her many accolades, Grande has won six iHeartRadio Music Awards, five MTV Video Music Awards and three American Music Awards. She has also earned 12 Grammy nominations and one win.

Acting

The pop diva returned to television with a guest appearance on Scream Queens in 2015, and she hit the big screen in a cameo appearance in Zoolander 2 in 2016. She also starred as Penny Pingleton, Tracy Turnblad's best friend, in NBC's Hairspray Live! in December 2016.

Grande has also become a popular host of Saturday Night Live, bringing her musical and acting talents to the show, including uncanny impersonations of fellow pop divas Britney Spears, Shakira, Rihanna, Celine Dion and Whitney Houston in a skit spoofing the streaming service Tidal.

In February 2020 Grande made a guest appearance on season 2 of Jim Carrey's Showtime series Kidding.

Fragrances, Charities and Social Media

In addition to her musical and acting projects, Grande has launched two fragrances "Ari by Ariana Grande" and "Frankie by Ariana Grande" with her brother Frankie Grande.

When she is not performing, the pop superstar supports various charitable causes including Kids Who Care, a group she co-founded that raises money for charities in the South Florida region. She also has cultivated a massive social media presence on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat, and landed on Time magazine's list of "The 100 Most Influential People" in 2016.

Personal Life

Grande went public with her romance with her "The Way" collaborator Mac Miller in August 2016. The pair split in May 2018 after almost two years of dating. "I respect and adore him endlessly and am grateful to have him in my life in any form, at all times regardless of how our relationship changes or what the universe holds for each of us!" Grande posted on Instagram.

On June 11, 2018, People magazine confirmed that the singer was engaged to SNL's Davidson, her boyfriend of several weeks. Subsequent attention focused on their affectionate social media posts directed at one another, though the couple found themselves in an awkward position when footage surfaced of Davidson making a joke about the Manchester concert bombing months earlier.

Grande was devastated by Miller's death from an accidental drug overdose in September 2018, a development that seemingly impacted her relationship with Davidson. By October 2018, the singer and comedian had split.

Grande went on to date Social House's Mikey Foster, before sparking a relationship with real estate agent Dalton Gomez. The pair got engaged in December 2020 and wed in May 2021.

Reflection Essay

As I lay down to reflect, I can say that my life's getting better, unlike the past few months that I'm suffering from depression. I thought I couldn't make it to graduation but here I am realizing and writing down here my reflection in life. I may not be the best student, but I'm trying my best to do my work and to be alive. I could say that all of our suffering right now has an end. Whether it's big or small.

Memoir

One gloomy day, my friends and I decided to go to a cafe to unwind. We got our own wheels and drove to the nearest cafe. Once we got there, we ordered a lot of ice coffees and some food. After that, we decided to go for a road trip. Those were some of my unforgettable moments in my life because my mom usually didn't allow me to go to far places and had a curfew. After our road trip, we went to the nearest McDonalds and got some snacks.

Facial Recognition

In a world of chaos, pain and suffering. As I look forward to seeing you again, It makes my trials and tribulations less hectic knowing that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. At the end of the day I’ll see you again. You make me happy. Tall boy with dark hair and shy smiles and who smells good. I was in love. He was my type, manly and he had a smile that could save humanity. He’s supportive and encouraging. He always pushes me to do better . He has a unique voice and I realized, his voice is my favorite sound. He is wonderful in everything he does. He never really spends much time caring about he dresses. He keeps it simple all the time with his simple white round neck shirt and black sweat short. I love how he’s open minded and just vibe whatever I talk about. He have great strength and he always have a goal in his mind. His arm is

well-shaped. His eye are everything. Thick eyebrows are my favorite and also his long eyelashes he doesn’t deserve. He looks so perfect for me. His body was fit. He mean everything to me that’s why I like him so much. He wears strength and darkness equally well.

The man has always been half goddess, half hell. He is benevolent and easy to be with. Not only of his physical appearance, that made me fall in love, but the loving personality he has. He has one of those charismatic personalities that are hard to find as of now. He is a kind man, a gentleman one.

Travelogue

Hidden Beauty of Siniloan

October 30 year 2016, our family decided to go to a place where we can unwind. My mom is working at the Schools Division Office and guess what? They will be having a hiking at October 30 also, so we decided to come with them. Hiking with the higher officials of DepEd, it’s kinda awkward but it’s okay. I thought that I will be having a hard time socialize with them but I was wrong, they are amazing and very friendly that made our adventure more memorable.

The experience we’ve had before during and after our hiking was irreplaceable. I remember when were on our way to Siniloan, I vomited because the roadgoing to Siniloan was very curved and I feel so dizzy that time. That was an epic experience for me. When we finally reached our destination, we’ve had our orientation about the do’s and don’ts during hiking. The tour guide told us that the hiking will last for hours. I was so shocked that time, “Will I survive this?” I said to my cousins and we started ranting about it. During our hiking, I and my cousins kept on asking our tour guide, “Kuya we’ve been walking for almost five hours, when we will reach our destination? We are so damn tired”. Our tour guide was a liar, because he kept on saying that were near but the truth is were not yet near. After walking for almost six hours, finally we’ve reached our real destination, I thought it would be a normal hiking experience but I was wrong, the perfect flow of the water from the peak of the mountain turned my poker face into a very amazed one like a kid. A very beautiful twin waterfalls. I was so amazed and overwhelmed. We didn’t care how tired we were because the crystal clear water of the falls encouraged us to swim.

After that very tiring day, I realized that it’s okay to be tired because it’ll be worth it, and I realized that God’s creation is really a blast.

Self-Obituary

“If I could just turn back the time, I will correct all of my mistakes and wrong decisions in life.” As a teenager, we are known to be vulnerable, we are soft and weak that’s why we tend to do things that were not good for us and others.

I overthink, and overthinking kills my happiness. I usually think negative thoughts, which hinders my productivity because all that I think was everything that I do is a failure. I distanced myself to others and even to my parents and friends. I always feel that I’m such a disappointment to everyone. I always sleep late, staring at the ceiling and thinking of some random thoughts.

Everything’s a mess. Everything in me was a mess. I let other people come and go, I let them hurt me and leave me hanging on air. I made some quick decisions in life that brings a huge impact on what I am as of now. I am slowly dying.

Everything we do has an equivalent consequence. I nearly died not physically but emotionally. “If I could just turn back the time, I will correct all of my mistakes and wrong decisions in life.” We can’t deny the fact that the past are still ghosting us. Some will say that if they will be given a chance to change everything from the past, they will change some decisions they did; but I do believe that I will not be here today if I changed some events from the past.

Every little thing that I did before has been a great part as who I am today. Life is short and we should not be regretting about everything we did before. We make mistakes and I think it

is the stepping stone for us to achieve our goals. We grow from different aspects and I think it’s normal.

We can no longer go back to what we once were, but we can make the best of a bad situation and appreciate everything instead of regretting from the past and everything

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tarashinhye · 2 years ago

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A response to the person in your ask box:

In my opinion cultural appropriation theory (because that’s all it is, a theory) is complete nonsense. It’s simply impossible to prove because it relies on the premise that every single person with the same or similar cultural and/or racial background feels offended over the same things, and that is simply not true at all, because groups consist of individuals, all with different ideas. Therefore, it is not science. Also, I really wish people would stop being offended on behalf of other people, especially minorities because then it’s not about the people you want to support. Then you’re making it about you and your hero complex. It’s condescending to (other) minorities as well as people as inviduals for you to appoint yourself as a teacher on what they should and should be offended about because you are acting like members of those minorities don’t have any agency as people and/or are too stupid to decide if they’re offended or not. Pretty much any white person who acts offended on behalf of a minority, or a member of a minority who acts offended on behalf of another minority is just desperate to be regarded as one of the “good” ones.

Cultural apppriation theory completely ignores how complex cultural identities can get as well. Imagine someone of Chinese and white European descent who grew up in South Africa, then moved to Australia when they turned 18 and lived there for 12 years. So which culture can they claim as “theirs”?

I’m half Indian half white, if I had a kid with a white guy would my kid be allowed to wear traditional Indian clothes, and whose permission would I need for that? You don’t need my permission to wear a saree either.

To add to that, I may be half Indian but I don’t necessarily regard wearing sarees as part of my personal identity. I can imagine it would be the same for anyone of any cultural/racial background. I’m not personally offended when a (clearly) non-Indian person wear a saree either, and neither is my brown dad.

The word “appropriation” is misleading; it’s basically a fancy word for “stealing. “ But what is being stolen? Even if culture is commodified original meanings stay intact; they probably just won’t mean anything to someone not familiar with that culture. And in this day and age you can’t really stop culture from being commodified, especially given the internet. The upside is that literally everyone’s culture gets commodified. Some people even do it themselves. There’s a Korean fashion designer whose designs are influenced by tradtional Korean outfits, for example, and that influence is fairly obvious.

Culture is also not static - different cultures influence each other all the time so in most cases it’s impossible to tell what originated where.

Another common argument I see is “If a POC does X no one pays attention but if a white person does it everyone praises it.” Which is not true either. And besides, if you are a POC, why does it matter what “everyone “ thinks? True empowerment comes from not giving a fuck and just doing what you want to do.

You say “Native American” dress but every single Native American group has its own culture and rituals, so which specific group would you be referring to? Cree? Iroquois? Hunkpapa?

Members of minorities (an individual or a few people) invoke cultural appropriation theory to pretend that they’re speaking on behalf of an entire “community” and everyone who would generally otherwise belong to that community gets called racial slurs or is a “race traitor” or wants to suck up to the whities or some nonsense whenever they disagree or don’t “act like a minority”.

When Avril Lavigne came out with “Hello Kitty” in which she shouts some Japanese phrases the people who were most vocally offended were Americans (including Japanese Americans, true, but still Americans ). No Japanese person actually in Japan made that big a deal out of it. Likewise, when Iggy Azalea came out with the MV for “Bounce” the only people who were vocally offended were Americans. If you go to the comments section of that MV on Youtube now the top comments are Indians expressing that they love seeing Indian culture in a music video. And by the way, did anyone ask the Indians actually involved in making the video their opinion? The dancers, maybe?

Oh, and if you’re a tourist visiting a foreign country or engaging with different cultures within your own you’ll often find yourself being encouraged by locals to try on traditional clothes regardless of your own racial/cultural background.

What you see on a screen is not everything. The entertainment industry in general is more diverse than you often can see. Maybe it was someone with Native American ancestry who gave Ethan the dress, who knows. In any case I doubt most people even knew about this or found it offensive before you pointed it out and insisted it was.

I’m not saying you, an individual, are not allowed to be offended if you are Native American. Your feelings are perfectly valid, but just because you are offended doesn’t mean everyone else with whom you might inherently have something in common is, or even that any of the people you pretend to be speaking for are if you’re not Native American. Just because you feel that your personal identity is being violated doesn’t mean everyone else feels the same way, and I don’t think anyone asked you to be offended for them. Get it?

And before you try to tell me my opinion is invalid by attacking me for being half white/”only” half brown (which totally wouldn’t be racist or anything, trying to shame me for my background), I suggest you check out the writings of John McWhorter on identity politics.

also feel the need to add that since they won Eurovision they have all deleted so many posts and whether that was their own decision or someone’s advice, it makes me uncomfortable that nobody thought to suggest a photoshoot where Ethan is appropriating Native American dress despite having stated he doesn’t have Native American heritage probably ought to be deleted.

Yup

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stefandeepmusic · 4 years ago

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It’s 2020 and Celebrity Baby Names Are Still Complete Cringe

Celebrity baby names have always been abstract, but these are just laughable.

Going through a pregnancy during a worldwide pandemic has likely influenced their poor decisions.

From Katy Perry to Iggy Azalea, these baby names of 2020 aren’t even suitable for dogs.

We all know Hollywood stars can be a bit eccentric at times, but when it comes to naming their kids, they go above and beyond.…

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#Baby #Celebrity #Complete #Cringe #Names

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sirchrisjaxon · 7 years ago

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How Our Standard for “Bad” Rappers Has Changed

I remember when I was a kid, I thought Lil Wayne was trash. Many traditionalists thought of him as the death of good rap. His commercial success was seen as a bastardization of the style that rappers like Jay-Z and Eminem created before him. His voice was annoying, his subject matter was crude, and he used the forbidden tool: autotune. But the youth is always on the right side of history, and they embraced the new wave he was creating. Now, he is one of the most successful artists of all time. He kickstarted the careers of Drake, Nicki Minaj, 2 Chainz, and more. His prolific work ethic has influenced rappers like Future, Young Thug, and Gucci Mane. His use of autotune has made it a staple in most commercial hip-hop we hear today. I will never call Lil Wayne one of the best rappers, but I will always defend him as being one of the most important. Today, if anyone says that Lil Wayne is wack, they just sound like a fool. Since his rise, there have been so many rappers so much worse than him that have received the same amount of hype and success that he did (although they might not have lasted as long). I don’t think that every generation of rap is getting worse, but I do think that each generation of consumers if lowering the standard of what it takes to be successful as a rapper. But maybe I’m being unfair. Maybe Lil Pump really is as legitimate as J. Cole. and even though nobody can argue that he is as good of a lyricist as Cole, most people don’t care.

I think this phenomenon is most obvious when looking at the history of the XXL Magazine Freshman Class. Now, I don’t think anyone should expect XXL to choose the best rappers from each year. Instead, they choose the hottest rappers of the last year, and it’s pretty objective. When looking at all of the Freshman covers, there is a very gradual trend of “wacker” MCs being chosen each year. Of course, there are great and trash rappers each year, but the proportion of good to bad becomes more offset on each cover. I’m sure a lot of old heads in 2009 cringed when they saw Asher Roth on the same cover as Wale and Curren$y. People probably laughed in 2011 when Lil B was with Kendrick Lamar and Yelawolf. Same with Iggy Azalea, Chief Keef, and Fetty Wap in their respective years. Then 2016′s cover came out, and there was outrage. “Lil Yachty? Lil Uzi Vert? Desiigner? Kodak Black?? 21 Savage??? How the fuck are you going to put these dudes on the same page as Dave East?” I would imagine many people exclaimed as they slammed their canes on the ground and tore the grey beards off their face. Look, lyrically speaking, Lil B is pretty bad. But if you look back to his cypher, he is LIGHTYEARS ahead of most of the rappers on the 2016 list. But as per usual, XXL was right. All of the “bad” rappers from that year had proven to be the most successful rappers of the next year. I predict the same will be true for this year’s class, with rappers like Playboi Carti, Ugly God, and MadeinTYO having the most impact this year. But if this is anyone’s fault, it is ours, not XXL’s.

Like Lil Wayne, a lot of people hated these “mumble rappers” at first. But artists like Future, Migos, Lil Yachty, and Young Thug are dominating the scene, and are giving way to more and more rappers who (for the most part) don’t really have anything meaningful to say. Even Iggy Azalea had a message (sometimes) and had a flow of a traditional rapper. Now we have lyrics like this, courtesy of Lil Pump:

“100 on my wrist, 80 on my wrist (what?) 100 on my wrist, 80 on my wrist (brr) 100 on my wrist, 80 on my wrist (ooh) 100 on my wrist, 80 on my wrist D Rose, D Rose, D Rose, D Rose D Rose, D Rose, D Rose, D Rose D Rose, D Rose, D Rose, D Rose D Rose, D Rose, D Rose, D Rose”

Wow, what a chorus. Just looking at this, you would think this song is terrible, but it’s pretty lit. And THAT is what is becoming more and more important today. The younger generation does not seem to have as much interest in listening to songs about the struggles of life. They want feel-good, drug-induced party music, which is where these new artists thrive. To be totally fair, Most of these “bad” rappers of today are not making the radio like Lil Wayne and Iggy did. That is a platform still mostly-dominated by great lyricists like Kendrick Lamar and Big Sean. But more of them are making their way into the airways than usual. After reading this, you probably think I don’t like this change. But I really just find it interesting. I listened to Lil Yachty’s “Lil Boat” mixtape almost every day last summer. I knew he wasn’t a great lyricist, but he has had so much influence on me as an artist melodically and production-wise. I would say Eminem is my favorite rapper, but I listen to Yachty and Uzi way more. Why? Because it’s modern and more relatable to my generation. Part of the reason why Eminem was so successful at his time (besides simply being the best) was the amount he created around himself. But the same things about him that the older generation hated were the parts the kids related to the most. But the difference still remains: Eminem is a far superior lyricist to any of the “bad” rappers that I mentioned. I don’t really know why this change is happening, and I certainly don’t want to assume that kids simply don’t want to think that hard. But like the trash rappers before them, I predict they will prove to be on the right side of hip-hop history.

My last note on this change is that most of these new mumble rappers are blowing up way earlier in their career than generations before them. While rappers like 50 cent had to put out a ton of mixtapes before he got famous, a lot of these rappers are going viral from a couple of songs at the age of 17. Perhaps the poor lyrical skill of these rappers is in part because they have not had any time to develop themselves. Maybe in 2023 Lil Pump will be the new Logic. Only time will tell.

EDIT: Which brings me to the biggest question of all (thanks to my friend Tyler Goss for helping with this thought) and that is WILL THEY LAST? It’s safe to say that the old heads have pretty much given up on expecting these rappers to be able to freestyle (except XXL, but thats more for the sake of tradition) so there is no one really trying to weed them out. In addition, all these mumble rappers have highly dedicated fans, most of which are the same age as them. These artists make it extremely easy to stay this dedicated because they release music so often and are so involved on social media that it is hard to forget about them, a method taken from Drake. However, what will happen when these fans grow up? Like I said, these rappers may mature into deeper lyricism and a wider subject matter as time goes on, but what if they don’t? 30 year old rap fans (hopefully) are not going to have much interest in “YEAH I got that ice on my wrist! YEAH I got your bitch on my dick!”. And the newer generation might still be into that, however at that point the artist will be too old for them to really relate to. I think that the best thing that these rappers can do is to grow up WITH their current fans. Trying to act younger than you are (*cough* Jamie Foxx) doesn’t really go well, but showing your fans that you are in the same place in life as them is what keeps them fucking with you. I have no idea if this is the answer, but I know that these rappers are at least living the dream right now.

Check out my ranking of this year’s XXL Freshman Cyphers http://sir-chris-jaxon.tumblr.com/post/162986681526/every-2017-xxl-freshman-cypher-ranked

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cryptobitnews · 4 years ago

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It’s 2020 and Celebrity Baby Names Are Still Complete Cringe

Celebrity baby names have always been abstract, but these are just laughable.

Going through a pregnancy during a worldwide pandemic has likely influenced their poor decisions.

From Katy Perry to Iggy Azalea, these baby names of 2020 aren’t even suitable for dogs.

We all know Hollywood stars can be a bit eccentric at times, but when it comes to naming their kids, they go above and beyond.…

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thesinglesjukebox · 5 years ago

Video

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IGGY AZALEA FT. KASH DOLL - FUCK IT UP

[2.50]

It's... sigh... Eggy Eggs.

Edward Okulicz: Iggy Azalea's best weapon is her audacious confidence; she has so little to brag about but manages to do it. But she now sounds desperate, not knowing how to deploy a swear word correctly. And really, it sounds at times like what's being said is "fuck a duck, sis." Words for once do not fail me, that's quite an appropriate reaction. [3]

Iris Xie: She was boring even when she was culturally appropriative, controversial, and when marginalized voices were really sharpening their social media platforms for all of their call-outs. This is so weak as to be tepid, and I don't know who Iggy Azalea is besides someone I'm supposed to be upset about but wasn't worth my anger in the first place. [1]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Was hoping for something redeemable here given how strong Kash Doll's feature was on "Chanel Slides," but she does nothing but try to match Iggy's dull seriousness. The production is even more lifeless than the post-Mustard beats that Iggy hopped on back in the day, indicating that she has little desire to improve her craft or expand her sound. It's probably more accurate to say that she doesn't exactly know how to do any of that, as this is something that could have been released by Iggy at any point in her entire career. [3]

Jonathan Bradley: The mangled vowels; the reduction of all rap cadence to bland abrasion, as if she once met a black person and imprinted upon the adjective angry; the tireless cursing, deployed as filler rather than syntax. (Iggy claims to have grown up admiring 2Pac; could you imagine her even trying to channel his charisma, his generosity, his passion?) Like they might say in Mullumbimby: she's a bit of a try-hard, ay? [2]

Katherine St Asaph: As usual, she's internalized everything about rap except the part where it can be fun. And the part where trends, like rnbass, go out of style eventually. [3]

Iain Mew: On the evidence of the level of enthusiasm conveyed here, if getting money feels way better than busting a nut, they must actively dislike the latter. [2]

Alfred Soto: It's not as terrible as the winds of fashion would persuade us to believe, but Kash's hook and Iggy's rap aspire to a kind of proficiency that gets no one noticed. [4]

Will Adams: The past few years have been rough for Iggy. She's had to deal with super-duds of singles sending her into sophomore album purgatory, not to mention fumbling having ~allegedly~ worked with Dr. Luke. But now she's on the up and up, which in 2019 means scattering your videos with Drag Race and influencer cameos and "beefing" with a kids' show's cartoon mascot. So sure, that's fine. But how's the music? Utterly joyless, turns out! Iggy recites the title hook like it's a grocery list, and Kash Doll barely adds to the proceedings with a wan verse. Never before has an artist's "redemption" phase been so embarrassing. [2]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#Iggy Azalea #Kash Doll #rap #hip hop #pop #music #music review #writing

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batsort93-blog · 6 years ago

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— Jameela Jamil (@jameelajamil) November 26, 2018 - The Mercury News

It’s been quite an energizing, inspiring week for Jameela Jamil’s crusade against celebrities like Cardi B, Iggy Azalea and the Kardashians who hawk detox tea, appetite-suppressant lollipops and other dubious diet products to their fans.

“The Good Place” star and feminist advocate garnered positive headlines for smartly feuding with the famously confrontational rapper Cardi B, FastCompany and other outlets reported. Jamil adroitly pointed out that the rapper probably doesn’t even use the detox tea she promoted on Instagram over the weekend, even though Cardi B claimed it helped her slim down after giving birth four months ago.

But Cardi B wasn’t the only celebrity influencer in Jamil’s cross-hairs this week. British-born Jamil, who runs a campaign called I Weigh to promote women’s self-worth, also called out Iggy Azalea, Khloe Kardashian and Amber Rose. These women have become “brand ambassadors” for a company called Flat Tummy Co, encouraging their tens of millions of social media followers to buy the company’s detox teas and meal replacement products.

Jamil, 32, called these stars “bloody liars” and “double-agents for the patriarchy,” pointing out that they are sending the harmful message that fans should try to look like them — but that the only way they can is if they use such products. As Refinery29 noted, dietary supplements aren’t regulated by the Food and Drug Administration, so there’s no telling what’s in them.

Jamil also has said that such social media posts are potentially damaging to people’s body image and self-worth. They’re also highly misleading, with Jamil saying in several tweets that it’s unrealistic for fans to think they can attain a certain celebrity body shape and air-brushed appearance without the help of a team of professionals:

“When will these women who are covered in plastic surgery stop telling their followers to drink a laxative to look like them?” Jamil added in another tweet. “It’s so embarrassing and it’s so encouraging of eating dirsordered (sic) behavior. BE BETTER ALLIES!”

Jamil topped off her week with a parody video that she said illustrates the noisy, smelly and painful results of using detox teas — or the nasty, laxative-containing “Supermodel Shake” she drinks here.

For Jamil, her crusade stems from her own struggles with self-worth. In another series of tweets, she explained that, growing up, she bought into “miracle cures and laxatives” from celebrities in order to maintain a lower weight, but the products made her sick and messed with her digestion and metabolism.

“I was the teenager who starved herself for years,” she explained. “I was sick, I have had digestion and metabolism problems for life.”

She also suggested that celebrities already are wealthy and don’t need the extra money that comes from being “brand ambassadors” for sketchy diet products. In dismissing an accusation by gossip columnist Perez Hilton that she was being “holier than thou,” Jamil said that people who have achieved a certain level of fame have a responsibility to youths and to “other people’s kids.”

Jamil added that celebrities who tell their fans to be thinner “don’t love” their fans, and don’t care about their mental health or self-worth.

The actress and model has no intention of letting up on her crusade, tweeting that she won’t stop going “after all the people, men and women, who perpetuate this gross culture of forcing women to remain small and doll-like in order to be accepted by society.”

Jamil has had previous successes in shaming celebrities for hawking diet products. Most famously, she led a social media charge to get Kim Kardashian to delete an Instagram post, in which the “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” star advertised Flat Tummy Co.’s “appetitive suppressant lollipops.”

According to the Daily Mail, Kim Kardashian shared of photo of herself sucking a red lollipop, and captioned it: “You guys… @flattummyco just dropped a new product. They’re Appetite Suppressant Lollipops and they’re literally unreal.”

In response, Jamil criticized Kim Kardashian for being self-hating and for being a “terrible and toxic influence.”

“When will she just love herself and stop obsessing about how to ‘fix’ problems that were never there?”Jamil asked in a tweet at the time. “She was always beautiful. She’s never seen it because she is broken by the SAME society that she now contributes more toxicity to.”

Source: https://www.mercurynews.com/2018/11/29/jameela-jamils-nasty-supermodel-shake-should-silence-cardi-b-and-other-celebrity-diet-pushers/

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theconservativebrief · 6 years ago

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If you are not a fan of the critically acclaimed NBC sitcom The Good Place (which you should be! Why aren’t you watching it??), then you may not be familiar with Jameela Jamil.

Jamil plays Tahani al-Jamil, an image-obsessed socialite who lives in her accomplished older sister’s shadow. Recently, however, the actress has also become known as a vocal feminist and body positivity advocate. In the last month alone, Jamil has come after everyone from Cardi B to Iggy Azalea to Khloe Kardashian for advertising “detox teas,” or beverages that are purported to help you lose weight, on Instagram.

For the most part, the media has embraced the portrayal of Jamil as an outspoken advocate for feminist empowerment, a 2018 version of a 2014-era Jennifer Lawrence or a 2016-era Chrissy Teigen. “In an industry that reproduces so many limiting ideas of how women should look, speak, dress and think, it is so refreshing to see an actress speak her mind,” Paper magazine wrote in a profile of Jamil.

Recently, however, that narrative has gotten more complicated. This week, Jamil generated backlash for a BBC op-ed she wrote, along with a series of tweets, which called for Photoshop and airbrushing to be made illegal.

Jamil’s tweets started out innocently enough, pointing out how often magazines airbrush photos of female celebrities in their 40s and 50s while leaving male celebrities untouched. (Jamil has famously refused to let any publications Photoshop images of her.)

An example of Photoshop being weaponised against women: This is how we portray men in their 50s on magazine covers and women in their 50s. Look at the difference. Men who age are sexy in HD. Women mostly just shouldn’t dare age. Men can celebrate the inevitable, we must fear it. pic.twitter.com/XKykaZuiYf

— Jameela Jamil (@jameelajamil) December 2, 2018

One of her anti-Photoshop tweets, however, featured a photo of a glowing Jamil wearing what appears to be makeup, while simultaneously enjoining women to “say no to airbrushing” — a message that many interpreted as a statement that self-love is liberating, provided you’re super hot. Others accused Jamil of exhibiting Tahani-esque levels of privilege and lack of self-awareness. (Jamil has since deleted the tweet.)

Jameela Jamil posting a picture where she looks luminously beautiful with the captain “say no to airbrushing …. I want to look like a person” is so extremely Tahani

— Festive Winter Sea Witch (@theKatriarch) December 2, 2018

Jameela Jamil’s “airbrushing should be illegal” essay reminds me so much of Alicia Keys’s “women should be makeup free” campaign. It’s like they forget they inhabit the very bodies upheld as ideal. pic.twitter.com/zBHdP2YXIL

— Evette Dionne ‍ (@freeblackgirl) December 3, 2018

Some even questioned Jamil’s motives for making body positivity such an integral part of her platform. The response may signal an impending backlash — not just against Jamil, but against celebrities who have used body positivity and female empowerment as a self-branding tactic.

(Jameela Jamil is the Matt McGory of 2018)

— Caroline Moss (@CarolineMoss) December 3, 2018

Although she’s been famous in the UK for years, Jamil has become well-known in the US media fairly recently. A former British “it girl,” she first became famous as a presenter (that’s British for “TV host”) for the TV program T4, as well as the breakfast show (that’s British for “a show that airs in the morning”) Freshly Squeezed. Three years ago, she moved to Los Angeles, reportedly with no intention of starting an acting career, and landed the lead role of Tahani on her very first audition.

Jamil has spoken publicly about body positivity throughout her career. She’s been open about her own personal struggles with body image, such as an eating disorder she grappled with in her teens and her experience being body-shamed by the British press after gaining weight from using steroids for asthma. She has said that her difficulty finding clothes in her size during that time prompted her to launch a size-inclusive collection in 2016 with the UK brand Simply Be, which included sizes 10 to 32 (or US sizes 6 to size 30).

In a 2015 interview, Jamil said she wanted to provide more options for larger women, while simultaneously refusing to call them “plus-size”: “The concept of plus-size is so derogatory and weird. What does that mean? Plus the normal size? It shouldn’t exist anymore,” she told Femail at the time.

In March of this year, Jamil launched the Instagram account I Weigh. In the caption on the inaugural post, Jamil wrote that she was “fucking tired of seeing women just ignore what’s amazing about them and their lives and their achievements, just because they don’t have a bloody thigh gap.” The account now has more than 249,000 followers and features more than 2,000 user-submitted posts from women.

Since then, Jamil has publicly weighed in on a number of issues related to body positivity and cultural beauty standards. Last June, she announced her no-Photoshop policy; in October, she reiterated this stance, sharing unretouched photos from a Marilyn Monroe-inspired photo shoot in which stretch marks on her breasts were visible. Like Teigen and Padma Lakshmi before her, who have also shared photos of their stretch marks, Jamil posted the images along with a message of self-acceptance.

Since she started building her US brand, Jamil has taken aim at celebrities and social media influencers for promoting what she says she views as toxic, body-shaming narratives.

Arguably her highest-profile target has been the Kardashians, most notably Kim Kardashian, who promoted appetite-suppressing lollipops by the Instagram weight-loss company Flat Tummy Co. “No. Fuck off. No. You terrible and toxic influence on young girls,” Jamil wrote on Twitter back in May. (Kardashian did not issue a public response.)

In an August interview with podcast host Krishnan Guru-Murthy, Jamil slammed the Kardashians again, referring to them as “double agents” for the “patriarchy.” “It’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing: Just because you look like a woman, we trust you and we think you’re on our side, but you are selling us something that really doesn’t make us feel good …. You’re selling us self-consciousness,” she told Guru-Murthy.

While some criticized Jamil for taking issue with the Kardashians rather than the patriarchy itself, Jamil attempted to clarify her comments on Twitter, specifying that she wasn’t criticizing the Kardashians specifically, but the beauty-obsessed culture they were endorsing.

No. Fuck off. No. You terrible and toxic influence on young girls. I admire their mother’s branding capabilities, she is an exploitative but innovative genius, however this family makes me feel actual despair over what women are reduced to. pic.twitter.com/zDPN1T8sBM

— Jameela Jamil (@jameelajamil) May 16, 2018

MAYBE don’t take appetite suppressors and eat enough to fuel your BRAIN and work hard and be successful. And to play with your kids. And to have fun with your friends. And to have something to say about your life at the end, other than “I had a flat stomach.” pic.twitter.com/XsBM3aFtAQ

— Jameela Jamil (@jameelajamil) May 16, 2018

Last month, Jamil publicly lambasted Cardi B, whose latest Instagram post had endorsed another detox tea; she also criticized Iggy Azalea, Amber Rose, and Khloe Kardashian for promoting similar weight loss products. “GOD I hope all these celebrities all shit their pants in public, the way the poor women who buy this nonsense upon their recommendation do,” she wrote.

(As Vox previously reported, many of these teas have a laxative effect; taking laxatives can lead to cramping, indigestion, and dehydration, which makes them an unsafe and unhealthy means of losing weight).

They got Cardi B on the laxative nonsense “detox” tea. GOD I hope all these celebrities all shit their pants in public, the way the poor women who buy this nonsense upon their recommendation do. Not that they actually take this shit. They just flog it because they need MORE MONEY pic.twitter.com/OhmTjjWVOp

— Jameela Jamil (@jameelajamil) November 24, 2018

Cardi B, for her part, told Jamil, “I will never shit my pants because there’s public bathrooms….and ooh, bushes.” Emboldened by Cardi’s response, Jamil leaned into the joke further, posting a video of herself pretending to chug a detox tea, then rushing to the bathroom.

In the past, Jamil (who in her Twitter bio refers to herself as a “feminist-in-progress”) has been accused of harboring some anti-feminist views, specifically when it comes to women she appears to deem overly sexually provocative.

In the past, she’s called out Miley Cyrus for her “overt use of her sexuality and her vagina to gain a platform”; in a column for the UK website Company, she also criticized Rihanna for posing pantsless on Instagram, imploring her to “put away her minge” (British for female genitalia).

In a blog post, Jamil also accused Beyoncé of “behaving like a (Bloody amazingly beautiful) stripper” with her “buttocks spread apart by a pole…air-humping a piano” in the music video for “Flawless.” Following backlash, Jamil deleted the post — but an archived version is still viewable. Jamil was also accused of erasing the work of black women like body positive activist Stephanie Yeboah, who claims that Jamil once quoted her in an interview without attribution.

“She loves low-hanging fruit, especially when it comes to women who make a living by being sexual in any form”

In an October 2018 op-ed for Pajiba, writer Kayleigh Donaldson took aim at what she referred to as Jamil’s “diluted version of body positivity,” one that does not necessarily include all women of all different sizes: “She loves low-hanging fruit, especially when it comes to women who make a living by being sexual in any form,” Donaldson wrote, noting Jamil’s previous criticism of Beyonce, Cyrus, and Rihanna.

Donaldson also questioned whether Jamil, as a conventionally attractive, straight-size woman, is necessarily the best representative of the body positivity community. “It would be silly of us to pretend Jamil didn’t get where she is today if she weren’t astoundingly beautiful and the ‘right’ size for American TV,” Donaldson writes.

Jamil herself seems at least somewhat aware of her own shortcomings as a representative for the body positivity movement. In an interview with Marie Claire, Jamil bemoaned the fact that body positivity has “become a marketing slogan, and that’s not what it was originally for. It was supposed to be inclusive, and again now, it’s been taken over by very slender, often Caucasian women.”

Indeed, one of the most common critiques of the body positivity movement is that its primary representatives have very little in common with the vast majority of women. “For instance, a conventionally attractive Instagram model clapping back at her haters, or a literal supermodel who feels the need to publicly answer her anonymous, powerless social media critics. Or that supermodel’s cousin who is a hero to women everywhere for displaying one single fat roll,” as Amanda Mull wrote in a Vox piece.

Kristen Bell and Jameela Jamil in The Good Place. Colleen Hayes/NBC

To be fair, the body positivity movement has gotten (slightly) more diverse over the past few years, with women of color and LGBTQ women slowly becoming more visible. And as a woman of Indian and Pakistani descent, Jamil contributes a welcome perspective to a movement that, as she pointed out in Marie Claire, is still pretty damn white.

Still, it’s easy to see why a woman who doesn’t look like Jamil (or Teigen or Emily Ratajkowski, a literal bikini model) would be skeptical of their messages of self-empowerment and body positivity. If you look great without makeup, then it’s easy to say that airbrushing and filters and Photoshop should be illegal; and if the rest of your culture loves your body, then it’s easy to love your body, too.

In addition to building a brand as a body positivity advocate, Jamil has also garnered fans for her goofy, eminently relatable persona. She frequently refers to bodily functions in interviews and has referred to herself as a “potty mouth” and a “constantly inappropriate person,” filling something of the Cool Girl vacuum left by Jennifer Lawrence, who rose to A-list status in large part by talking openly about butt plugs and dropping F-bombs at awards shows.

(In a somewhat similar vein, Jamil also frequently insists to journalists that she was awkward and unattractive as an adolescent, a time-honored narrative of ugly-ducking-turned-swan right out of the Victoria’s Secret model playbook.)

It remains to be seen whether this strategy will backfire for Jamil, as it ultimately did on some level for Lawrence, who was subject to much debate over whether her frat bro persona was little more than schtick. If the backlash against Jamil’s anti-Photoshop tweets is any indication, it certainly seems like a possibility.

However well-intentioned celebrities may be, the privileges afforded by beauty and wealth and status are simply too great to allow most of them to retain a cool and relatable image for very long.

But for now, it appears that Jamil’s lean into Cool Girl feminism is still working: The media has lauded Jamil for her tweets and her “refreshing” take on celebrity and body image. More than one effusive reporter has gushed that they wish they could be Jamil’s best friend. So for now, that’s the pop cultural role she primarily occupies in the public consciousness — even if she arguably has more in common with the Kardashians themselves than she does with the women who retweet her takedowns.

Original Source -> How Jameela Jamil built a brand around body positivity

via The Conservative Brief

#IFTTT #The Conservative Brief

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lauraramargosian · 6 years ago

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Ariana Grande Is An Incredible Role Model!

Ariana Grande has been an incredible role model to her family friends and fans. Everything from the Manchester attacks to the time she takes out of her day to spend with fans. We’ve been seeing her out and about more with Pete Davidson than anyone else. The couple just got engaged and we couldn’t be happier for the two. The duo can now work together and make the world a better place.

Ariana Grande just dropped the “God is a Woman,” music video and it’s absolutely amazing. And she truly is one of the most popular female stars in the world.

Grande got her big start on Nickelodeon’s Victorious, she has flown to fame and success after the show ended. The soundtracks to the show were already popular when the show ended.

Ariana Grande moved onto a spin-off show with iCarly’s Jennette McCurdy. The show was canceled shortly afterward partially due to some disagreements the two actors were having, as well as partially due to Ariana Grande’s musical success outside of Nickelodeon.

Ari’s debut album, Yours Truly, was released in August (2013). It was a hit success, debuting at number 1 on the billboard 200, making her the first female artist since Kesha to debut at the top. This cemented Ariana Grande as a legitimate singer and songwriter outside of her Nickelodeon ties, and things began to grow exponentially from there.

Pete Davidson can relate to my nightmare and Ariana Grande is his support.

Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson!

One year later, Ariana Grande released her latest album, My Everything, which also debuted at Number one. Worldwide her single with Iggy Azalea, Problem, was in the top 3 which was absolutely incredible. She also worked with Jessie J and Nicki Minaj for “Bang Bang” and has been on tour until October of this year playing this fantastic music.

Honestly, with Influences like Madonna, Christina Aguilera, Amy Whitehouse and Mariah Carey, in Hollywood. Ariana Grande definitely knows her music and has been widely regarded as a very talented singer and definitely has the chops for what she is doing.

In addition to her incredible talent and awesome personality, Ariana Grande is at heart, a giver. She loves her fans and people and has worked hard to give back to those who have been loyal fans, as well as those who are less fortunate. She has been associated with several charities, including PETA, Make-A-Wish Foundation, and St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.

Before she was as popular as she is now, she co-founded a group called “Kids Who Care” that raised over $500,000 for charities. She has also been associated with charities that are helping education in the third world and has spoken out against cyberbullying. Truly, Ariana Grande is a fantastic human being and a wonderful role model for her fans. We cannot wait to see what music and what waves she will make next.

Don’t you guys think she’s Ariana Grande is an incredible role model? Sound off in the comments below or take a vote!

Blessed be!

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Ariana Grande – God is a woman

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Ariana Grande speaks up about toxic relationships!

Pete Davidson can relate to my nightmare and Ariana Grande is his support.

Pete Davidson jokes about weed commercials on Just for Laughs!

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#Positive celebrity gossip #celebrity gossip #news #love #positive vibes

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top40blog · 7 years ago

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"Previous Position","Position","Artist","Featured","Song Title","Chart ID" "","1","Halsey","","Now Or Never","" "","2","Camila Cabello","","Crying in the Club","" "","3","Dev","Nef the Pharaoh","#1","" "","4","Zedd; Alessia Cara","","Stay","" "","5","Snakehips; MØ","","Don't Leave","" "","6","Pia Mia","Jeremih","I'm A Fan","" "","7","Britney Spears","Tinashe","Slumber Party","" "","8","Hey Violet","","Guys My Age","" "1","9","Hailee Steinfeld; Alesso","Florida Georgia Line; watt","Let Me Go","" "","10","Porter Robinson; Madeon","","Shelter","" "","11","Tove Lo","","Cool Girl","" "","12","Robin Schulz; David Guetta; Cheat Codes","","Shed a Light","" "4","13","CNCO; Little Mix","","Reggaetón Lento (Remix)","" "","14","Lost Kings","Emily Warren","Phone Down","" "","15","Iggy Azalea","","Mo Bounce","" "21","16","Sabrina Carpenter","","Why","" "","17","FRENSHIP; Emily Warren","","Capsize","" "","18","Linkin Park","Kiiara","Heavy","" "","19","Sean Paul","Dua Lipa","No Lie","" "","20","Julia Michaels","","Issues","" "","21","blackbear","","do re mi","" "","22","DeJ Loaf","","No Fear","" "","23","Cardi B","","Bodak Yellow","" "","24","Martin Garrix; Dua Lipa","","Scared to Be Lonely","" "","25","Cheat Codes; Cade","","Stay With You","" "","26","Grandtheft","Delaney Jane","Easy Go","" "","27","Samantha Jade","","Show Me Love","" "","28","LANY","","ILYSB","" "","29","DVBBS; CMC$","Gia Koka","Not Going Home","" "","30","Camila Cabello","Quavo","OMG","" "","31","Niall Horan","","Slow Hands","" "","32","Martin Garrix; Troye Sivan","","There For You","" "2","33","Tiësto","Stargate; Aloe Blacc","Carry You Home","" "","34","Major Lazer","Travis Scott; Camila Cabello; Quavo","Know No Better","" "","35","Zedd; Liam Payne","","Get Low","" "","36","Alesso","","Falling","" "","37","Katy Perry","Nicki Minaj","Swish Swish","" "","38","R3hab","R I T U A L","Hallucinations ","" "","39","Liam Payne","Quavo","Strip That Down","" "","40","French Montana","Swae Lee; Mariah Carey","Unforgettable (Mariah Carey Remix)","" "","41","Iggy Azalea","Anitta","Switch","" "","42","Flume","Tove Lo","Say It","" "","43","AJR","","Weak","" "","44","Dan Talevski","","Birthday Suit","" "10","45","Charlie Puth","","Attention","" "","46","Alan Walker","","Alone","" "37","47","BONNIE X CLYDE","","Bass Jam","" "","48","Aaron Carter","","Sooner Or Later","" "","49","Clean Bandit","Zara Larsson","Symphony","" "","50","Kris Kross Amsterdam; Conor Maynard","Ty Dolla $ign","Are You Sure?","" "","51","Tove Lo","","True Disaster","" "39","52","MAX","gnash","Lights Down Low","" "","53","Britney Spears","G-Eazy","Make Me...","" "","54","Cash Cash","Conor Maynard","All My Love","" "","55","Maroon 5","Future","Cold","" "","56","Selena Gomez","Gucci Mane","Fetish","" "","57","Martin Jensen","","Solo Dance","" "","58","Keyshia Cole","Remy Ma; French Montana","You ","" "","59","The 1975","","Somebody Else","" "","60","Noah Cyrus","Labrinth","Make Me (Cry)","" "","61","David Guetta","Nicki Minaj; Lil Wayne","Light My Body Up","" "","62","Kane Brown","Lauren Alaina","What Ifs","" "","63","Nora En Pure; Dani Senior","","Tell My Heart","" "","64","Chance The Rapper","Knox Fortune","All Night","" "","65","Lil Uzi Vert","","XO TOUR Llif3","" "","66","Armin Van Buuren & Garibay","Olaf Blackwood","I Need You","" "","67","Yellow Claw","Yade Lauren","Love And War","" "","68","Nicki Minaj","","Regret In Your Tears","" "","69","Martin Solveig","Ina Wroldsen","Places","" "3","70","Tove Lo","","shedontknowbutsheknows","" "","71","Jonas Blue","William Singe","Mama","" "14","72","Lauv","","Easy Love","" "36","73","NF","","Let You Down","" "","74","tujamo","","Make U Love Me","" "","75","Zara Larsson","","Ain't My Fault","" "","76","Nicki Minaj; Drake; Lil Wayne","","No Frauds","" "","77","Cheat Codes","Demi Lovato","No Promises","" "","78","Audien; MAX","","One More Weekend","" "","79","Rag'n'Bone Man","","Human","" "","80","Hedley","","Love Again","" "","81","JoJo","Remy Ma","FAB.","" "","82","Hey Violet","","Hoodie","" "","83","Dua Lipa","","New Rules","" "","84","Zara Larsson","","I Would Like","" "9","85","Stefflon Don","French Montana","Hurtin' Me","" "","86","Jax Jones","Raye","You Don't Know Me","" "30","87","Calvin Harris","Kehlani; Lil Yachty","Faking It","" "26","88","Alex Aiono","Trinidad Cardona","Does It Feel Like Falling","" "","89","LANY","","Super Far","" "","90","Paramore","","Hard Times","" "","91","Future","","Mask Off","" "","92","Kygo; Selena Gomez","","It Ain't Me","" "","93","Lost Kings","Tinashe","Quit You","" "","94","Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike vs. David Guetta","Kiiara","Complicated","" "25","95","Camila Cabello","Young Thug","Havana","" "","96","Kelly Clarkson","","Love So Soft","" "","97","Fitz and the Tantrums","","HandClap","" "","98","Hey Violet","","Break My Heart","" "","99","Imagine Dragons","","Believer","" "","100","ZAYN; Taylor Swift","","I Don't Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)","" "7","101","Marshmello","Khalid","Silence","" "","102","Krewella","","Team","" "","103","David Guetta","Justin Bieber","2U","" "","104","Snakehips; Anne-Marie","Joey Bada$$","Either Way","" "6","105","Sofi Tukker","NERVO; The Knocks; Alisa Ueno","Best Friend","" "","106","Marian Hill","","Down","" "","107","Chris Brown","Gucci Mane; Usher","Party","" "","108","NEIKED","Dyo","Sexual","" "","109","Jason Derulo","Nicki Minaj; Ty Dolla $ign","Swalla","" "","110","Fergie","Nicki Minaj","You Already Know","" "5","111","The Neighbourhood","","Scary Love","" "","112","Alan Walker","","Faded","" "32","113","Alma","French Montana","Phases","" "","114","Yo Gotti; Mike WiLL Made-It","Nicki Minaj","Rake It Up","" "","115","Marshmello","","Alone","" "","116","Katy Perry","","Bon Appétit","" "","117","Felix Snow","Marc E. Bassy; TYSM","Cherry On Top","" "","118","Lauv","","I Like Me Better","" "","119","Feder","Alex Aiono","Lordly","" "","120","3LAU","Yeah Boy","On My Mind","" "40","121","Post Malone","21 Savage","rockstar","" "","122","DiRTY RADiO","","True Love","" "","123","Mura Masa","Charli XCX","1 Night","" "","124","NEIKED","Mimi","Call Me","" "","125","Post Malone","Quavo","Congratulations","" "","126","Snow Tha Product","W.Darling","Nights","" "16","127","Tove Lo","","Disco Tits","" "","128","Ariana Grande","Future","Everyday","" "","129","Macklemore","Skylar Grey","Glorious","" "","130","Troye Sivan","Betty Who","HEAVEN","" "","131","Marc E. Bassy","Hailee Steinfeld","Plot Twist (Remix)","" "","132","Demi Lovato","","Sorry Not Sorry","" "8","133","AXSHN","Sofia Reyes","Tell Me","" "","134","Little Mix","Kid Ink","Touch","" "","135","MØ","","When I Was Young","" "","136","Louis Tomlinson; Steve Aoki","","Just Hold On","" "","137","Mura Masa","A$AP Rocky","Love$ick","" "","138","Ashanti","Ty Dolla $ign","Say Less","" "12","139","Martin Garrix; David Guetta","Jamie Scott; Romy Dya","So Far Away","" "","140","Marshmello; Ookay","Noah Cyrus","Chasing Colors","" "","141","Audien","Deb's Daughter","Crazy Love","" "11","142","WALK THE MOON","","One Foot","" "","143","Maggie Lindemann","","Pretty Girl (Cheat Codes x CADE Remix)","" "","144","G-Eazy","Marc E.Bassy","Some Kind of Drug","" "","145","Kodak Black","","Tunnel Vision","" "","146","Pia Mia","","We Should Be Together","" "13","147","3LAU","Luna Aura","Walk Away","" "","148","Portugal. The Man","","Feel It Still","" "","149","Travis Scott","Kendrick Lamar","goosebumps","" "","150","Steve Aoki; Autoerotique","","ILYSM","" "","151","Cassie","G-Eazy","Love a Loser","" "","152","Future","Rihanna","Selfish","" "","153","Britney Spears","","Love Me Down","" "","154","Calvin Harris","Future; Khalid","Rollin","" "","155","Louis Tomlinson","Bebe Rexha; Digital Farm Animals","Back to You","" "","156","Khalid","","Location","" "","157","Avicii","Rita Ora","Lonely Together","" "","158","The Chainsmokers","","Paris","" "","159","Chris Brown","","Privacy","" "","160","Major Lazer","PARTYNEXTDOOR; Nicki Minaj","Run Up","" "","161","Whethan","Flux Pavillion; MAX","Savage","" "","162","Rudimental","James Arthur","Sun Comes Up","" "17","163","Jauz","ROUXN","Meant To Love You","" "24","164","Remy Ma","Lil Kim","Wake Me Up","" "","165","Charli XCX","MØ","3AM (Pull Up)","" "","166","Calvin Harris","Pharrell Williams; Katy Perry; Big Sean","Feels","" "","167","Pitbull; J Balvin","Camila Cabello","Hey Ma","" "","168","RUNAGROUND","","Chase You Down","" "","169","Justin Bieber; BloodPop®","","Friends","" "15","170","Charlie Puth","","How Long","" "","171","Dan Talevski","Aleesia","Papers","" "","172","Majid Jordan","","Gave Your Love Away","" "","173","Russ","","Losin Control","" "","174","Shaun Frank","DYSON","No Future","" "28","175","G-Eazy","A$AP Rocky; Cardi B","No Limit","" "","176","Bruno Mars","","That's What I Like","" "","177","R3hab","VÉRITÉ","Trouble","" "","178","Khalid","","Young Dumb & Broke","" "31","179","Lil Uzi Vert","Nicki Minaj; Oh Wonder","The Way Life Goes (Remix)","" "","180","Meghan Trainor","Yo Gotti","Better","" "","181","MØ","","Final Song","" "","182","Fitz & The Tantrums","","Fool","" "","183","Yellow Claw","DJ Snake; Elliphant","Good Day","" "18","184","CMC$; Conor Maynard","","Understand Me","" "19","185","Sultan + Shepard","","Almost Home","" "","186","Chace; Moksi","","For A Day","" "","187","Tove Lo","Wiz Khalifa","Influence","" "","188","Shaun Frank","Ashe","Let You Get Away","" "","189","Kendrick Lamar","Rihanna","LOYALTY.","" "","190","Majid Jordan","PARTYNEXTDOOR","One I Want","" "","191","Ed Sheeran","","Shape of You","" "","192","Alyssa Reid","Likewise","Badlands","" "","193","Far East Movement; Marshmello","Chanyeol; Tinashe","Freal Luv","" "20","194","Kato; Sigala","Hailee Steinfeld","Show You Love","" "","195","Calvin Harris","Frank Ocean; Migos","Slide","" "","196","Alan Walker","Gavin James","Tired","" "","197","A-Sho","","Feel Something","" "","198","David Guetta; Afrojack","Charli XCX; French Montana","Dirty Sexy Money","" "23","199","Aaron Carter","","Don't Say Goodbye","" "","200","Alesso; Anitta","","Is That for Me","

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alygelaeunice-blog · 7 years ago

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The killing of Charice Pempengco ...and the birthing of Jake Zyrus

So you think you have heard it all? No, you haven’t.

This much has been revealed:

Charice Pempengco is “dead;” long live Jake Zyrus!;

Jake has his boobs removed and he’s taking hormones preparatory to his transition to full-fledged manhood; and

Jake has broken up (dumped?) with Alyssa Quijano for a new non-showbiz girl.

On Oct. 6 at the Music Museum, the newest kid on the block will make his formal introduction at a concert aptly titled I Am Jake, produced by The Mad Union Entertainment Production and Echo Jham Productions. It will be Jake’s coming-out party, directed by Calvin Neria with Troy Laureta as musical director (he’s a Fil-Am keyboardist and record producer who has worked with international artists such as Ariana Grande, Deborah Cox, Iggy Azalea and David Foster who is like a second father to Jake).

“I’m excited about the concert because I will be able to finally express my real self,” Jake told Conversations. “I’m also excited about the kind of music that I will be performing. The concert is perfect for those who want to celebrate themselves.”

Added Calvin, “It might not be the birit singer that you will see on stage but you will be surprised what Jake will present.”

Aside from the tattoos (one in honor of his mom Raquel and another in memory of his dad) all over his arms, Jake bared more of his new persona in an exclusive Conversation.

Why didn’t you have the names of your lovers also immortalized on your arms? You have more than enough space.

(Laughs) “Parang Johnny Depp, hahahaha! May tattoo siyang ‘Wynona Forever’ when Wynona Ryder was his girlfriend and when they broke up, he had the ‘na’ erased and what remained was ‘Wyno Forever.’ Parang ganoon? Hahaha!!!”

If memory serves, I stood as one of theninongs/ninangs at the baptism of Charice Pempengco and her confirmation as a Roman Catholic. What happened to her?

“Nag-abroad na, hahahaha!!!”

Since you are not my inaanak, I am withholding my gift for you.

“Ganoon po?”

Very BB Gandanghari who said that she killed Rustom Padilla but she couldn’t be accused of murder. No body, no evidence, no crime. See?

“Ganoon po ba yon? Hahahaha!!!”

There are so many Jakes already — Jake Gyllenhaal, Jake Cuenca, Jake Vargas, Jake Ejercito and Citizen Jake (the titular character of Mike de Leon’s comeback movie starring Atom Araullo). Why not Jack?

“Kasi that’s how I feel, eh. Actually, I had many choices — Christian, Kyle. Hindi ko pinili na dapatsomething na close to Charice. I stood in front of the mirror and mentioned the names na napupusuan ko.When I mentioned Jake Zyrus, kinilig ako. Nice name, di ba? Jake Zyrus.”

So kamag-anak mo na si Miley?

“Pinsan, hahahaha!!!”

Isn’t your “pinsan” coming out yet (joke!)?

“Ikakasal na nga, eh…kay Liam (Hemsworth), di ba?”

Have you already told your Ninang Oprah (Winfrey)?

“Actually, kay Miss Oprah ako unang nag-come out as ‘trans’ in 2014 during my last guesting on her show. It was overwhelming! She called the staffers who used to work for her para daw it would feel like the first time, the same staffers whom I met when I first guested on the show. Miss Oprah had them fly to Chicago. Napaka-tahimik! It was a one-on-one interview. Then, Miss Oprah broke the silence, ‘I’m so proud of you! I’ve been following you!’ Updated talaga siya, silang lahat!”

Hindi ba siya na-shocked?

“Not at all. Feeling ko may alam na sila. Sir David (Foster) was also among the first to know. It didn’t come as a surprise to them.”

So are you going to change your name in your passport, passbook and other documents?

“I will still be using my passport with my full name in it, Charmaine Clarice Relucio Pempengco, unless magpa-sex reassignment ako. Wala pa naman ako dun.”

Are you really having a sex reassignment?

“As a transgender, it’s important for me to feel complete, to feel whole. Everything matters, not only the way we dress up; ang puso, isip at damdamin namin ay lalake kami. Iba-iba kami. A lesbian is different from a transgender. Ang lesbian, they know in their heart na babae pa rin sila. May lipstick lesbian, ‘yung hindi halata kasi babaeng-babae ang dating. May butch, yung nagdadamit babae, nagku-cross-dresssila. Transsexuals are those that have undergone sex reassignment.”

So are you serious about having sex reassignment?

“Not anytime soon. I’m in the transition process, kumbaga nagbibinata pa lang ako, hehehehe!!! I’m just enjoying everything, all the changes. That will happen but as I’ve said, not anytime soon. Kumukuha pa ako ng lakas ng loob.”

You’ve been taking hormones. Doesn’t it affect your voice?

“The hormones are being injected every three months. I had my second shot last week. No effect on my voice; only the range will change. If I hit high notes, high notes na ‘yon ng lalake, hindi sa babae.”

So talagang happy ka na ngayon?

“Yes, I feel so free, so happy, so relaxed. Before, every time I performed as Charice, I was careful about my movement, parang lahat may wall…teka, ano ba itong ginagawa ko, baka may mapansin sila. May mga anxiety akong ganoon, may halong pagkukunwari; ingat na ingat ako.”

In short, you were not your real self.

“Even when I came out as a lesbian, I knew that I was not really a lesbian. At that time kasi, you are either tomboy or bakla. I was afraid that I might be bullied. Yon lang ang nire-recognize nila. They were not yet talking about transgender or the other types. Now, there’s LGBTQI.”

How old are you now?

“I’m 25 na.”

You mean to say that in the past 20-plus years you were pretending to be somebody you were not?

“I felt like I was in a movie.”

How old were you when you realized that you were, uhm, different?

“I was five years old, I was in Grade One. Never akong nagka-gusto sa lalake, I never had a crush on a guy…as in never! My crushes were girls. First crush ko nga si Donna Cruz. My brother and I used to play a game; siya ang artista at ako ang bodyguard at driver. He even gave me a name, Jeric Taperas. I didn’t know where he got that name. As early as that time, I knew deep in my heart that I was a boy.”

Oh so you started early, huh!

“Yes. What people knew was the Charice na girlie-girlie but what they didn’t know was that as soon as I got home, I would take off my girlie-girlie dress at pinapalitan ko ng damit panlalake.”

Have you had a girlfriend?

“When I was 13…kaklase ko, hehehe!!! Puppy love, ganoon!”

And when did you lose your innocence?

“Ano po ‘yon?”

Kelan ka na-devirginize?

“Ha?” (Long silence) “Next question, please. Hehehehe!!!”

Anybody in your family or those around you that must have influenced you?

“I’m not sure, pero ayoko naman sabihing wala.”

Your lola is so funny. Maski anong gawin mo daw, babae ka pa rin at magkakaroon ka pa rin ng regla.

“No more like that. When you’re having hormone injection, wala nang ganoon.”

How is your life now?

“Enjoying life as a man. Enjoying everything new, ‘yung mga hindi ko naranasan bilang lalake.”

And enjoying time with your new love. What happened ba between you and Alyssa? Did you really quarrel about money, mga ganoon?

“Nothing like that happened. We parted amicably.”

What about your differences with your family?

“Well, we are a typical family. Minsan may hindi pagkaka-intindihan, you know. Minsan OK, minsan hindi.”

You were not able to save daw because you are waldas (spendthrift)?

“Who said so? As if they know me well, as if they are sleeping with me. Yes, I am waldas because I buy things that I need for myself, my clothes, my music equipment, and other things I need for my career. It’s my money and I spend it the way I want to.”

How do you see yourself 10 years from now, padre de familia?

(Laughs) “Maybe. I will still be performing and having my own studio.”

At this point, something dropped, creating a loud bang. Charice, er, Jake, reacted by breaking into a little scream. I teased him, “Uy, babae ka pa rin ha!” He laughed and said, “Hindi, pare, ha! Hehehehe!!!”

http://www.philstar.com/entertainment/2017/07/30/1722810/killing-charice-pempengco-...and-birthing-jake-zyrus

What i just want to say in this article is that we should let him do his choices. The guy already spent 20 years of her life pretending to be a girl that she doesn’t really like. We are already on a fast phase and we should be more supportive and accepting when it comes to our brothers and sisters who are making a big changes in their lives. We should support them because those changes will make their life happier. Here in the Philippines, being in a LGBTQ community is a tough choice because they get bullied, they get discriminated, and most of the people that surrounds them doesn’t even support them. The last thing they need is getting insulted from us. And plus they’re human beings, like all of us they have feelings and they deserve to be treated with respect. they haven’t done anything to harm us and why can’t we just accept the fact they chose to be that way and we can’t do anything about it. Most LGBTQ members are successful because of the hard stuff they go through and maybe if we fully accept them the world would be a better place.

-Alysia Ichinose

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stellacarrierscriptstories · 7 years ago

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Stella Law of Attraction Script Stories 56

October 03, 2017

Stella Law of Attraction Script Stories 56Start time 944 amResume time 1044 amCompletion time 104pm

I Call Upon What I Imagine To Be The Influence of Benevolent Spirits From the Heavenly Realms, my higher self, and my celestial spirit ally team for creativity in both my writings and all other areas of my life both present and future

Stella Law of Attraction Script Stories 56December 21, 2017I Stella Carrier feel blessed because my marriage with my sweet and handsome husband Rusty Ridler becomes more closing and loving each day. Fortunately, I Stella Carrier achieved a vital dream of saving at least 1500 dollars after taxes by December 1 2017. I Stella Carrier also feel blessed because I am succeeding beyond my wildest dreams as well as contributing to the greater good for those around me in both my career at my University of Maryland College Park food services job and many of the customers and coworkers that I interact with as part of my job are more than satisfied with my customer service. I Stella Carrier am also blessed to be spiritually evolving and becoming wiser through both my volunteering activities that are also helping me evolve professionally and my therapy. I admit that I Stella Carrier originally had a goal to return to the 130s by this time but after some soul searching with my intuition and logic I reset that goal to the 150s weight tomorrow. I Stella Carrier am thrilled to say that I achieved reaching my bodyweight of the 150s territory by this time and it feels great to now weigh around a similar bodyweight that I did around late 2007/early 2008. This gives me confidence that I can be in the 120s bodyweight territory by April/May 2018 as I Stella Carrier intend to return to 125 pounds or thinner by April 1 2018 or sooner.June 14, 2020I Stella Carrier give thanks that I now make over 3000 dollars a month after taxes and I am in a stronger financial position to freely give my husband Rusty at least 200 to 300 dollars a month after taxes and still have plenty of after tax monthly money left over. My good money fortune actually started to increase in the autumn of 2017 with my University of Maryland College Park food services job after I received vital intuitive guidance from my heaven spirit ally team and my heaven higher self to save as much after tax money that I realistically can. I Stella Carrier listened to both my intuition and logic to avoid telling even my most well-meaning and talented coworkers even when they asked my after tax money pay for very good reasons, with of course telling my husband Rusty Ridler for obvious reasons and trusting that he would keep it between us my monthly after tax income. Fortunately, I Stella Carrier succeeded in saving over 1500 dollars after taxes by December 1 2017 and over 3500 dollars after taxes by May 1, 2017. I Stella Carrier feel blessed to report that I now have over 40,000 dollars after taxes saved by June 1 2020. I feel blessed to say that I am in strong money position to both get my wonderful husband Rusty Ridler both a nice gift and still have plenty of money left over. I Stella Carrier also feel blessed that the marriage between my sweet and handsome husband Rusty and I continues to get closer and more loving. I Stella Carrier also feel blessed that my husband Rusty Ridler is both sweet and very affectionate.

Memoirs of A Heaven Afterlife Communication Part 24

December 25 2100,

Dear Stella Carrier this communication comes from your future higher self who is helping to set up festivities near a party area for both amateur and professional runners who have recently passed over and writers both those who have passed over and for any spirit living in these celestial spheres who has interest in writing. Your main spirit guide wants me to relay to you that the reason why he got your attention with the happy and attractive female pictured in one of the youtube videos today was to push you to ensure that you keep getting thinner as a priority high on your goal list, yes even if that means you have to change your writing schedule andor the way you write online to achieve this goal. Before I as your future higher self go into a gold and orange castle to help organize for this party I have to relay the message to you that you are far from alone and have a team of hundreds of celestial spirit helpers to assist you as well as the gift of your intuition both to be a stronger contributor to others both through your volunteering efforts and through your job. That is the other thing-even if you have to change how often you are online andor the way you are online-both he and I emphasize to you that time must be made for both your volunteering and creativity and within the next 2 weeks or less please list 8 out of the 10 books that you intend to use to joyfully change your life. Yes others are going to judge yet there are also going to be supporters who may approach you privately either online andor in person who are going to indirectly andor directly inspire you on how to best apply what you have planned to use for sure within the next 13 months at a minimum. I as your future higher self depart to the party with love but for the following messages are recommended that I relay to you

at least 750 dollars after taxes in savings or more by November 1 2017 or sooneressential therapy and volunteering once a week even if I have to modify my writing and sleep schedule to do it-i.e. leave for therapy andor volunteering at a similar time as my sweet husband Rusty Ridlervolunteering and therapy deadline to set for myself-two weeks from now or lessVolunteering to build my leadership and social/relationship communication skills as well as to cross train myselfletting go of more items by November 8 2017 or soonereating at the same time each daytake educational courses post them online once a weekapply to bachelors degree programs-path to unfold by 5

classdouble majorseeing a ship in my dream two days in a row part of my life purpose-taco bell dreamhave one of the characters discuss sleeptime dreamsdaily-write a little of my planned story I intend to self publish from now on in secret email, complete by ideally December 1,2017 or soonera day in the life of my ideal look at least once a weektwice a week what I am doing nowaimee gates and career daily ideally but do aimee gates first but strive to do both dailyAdditional intuitive insights especially to develop my creativity-Part 2Divide into travel to future heaven worlds for career guidance and future earthCurrent earth life-relocation/travel edition plus communication with celestial spirit ally teamSleeptime dream entry career diary, future higher self in already created script entries and new ones on my off days at least once a week aim to do daily, Weight loss richer life edition career life before and career life afterwards,5 Scripting4 Aimee gates3 A day in the life of-5 profiles8 times higher self-future afterlife a monthVital Intuitive InsightDivide into travel to future heaven worlds for career guidance and future earthCurrent earth life-relocation/travel edition plus communication with celestial spirit ally teamSleeptime dream entry career diary, future higher self in already created script entries and new ones on my off days at least once a week aim to do daily, Weight loss richer life edition career life before and career life afterwards,

From Pandora; Duran Duran radio station; Eye Of The Tiger by Survivor, Let’s Dance by David Bowie, Rock the Casbah by the Clash, Need You Tonight by Inxs, Head Over Heels by Tears For Fears, Cars by Gary Numan, Ordinary World by Duran Duran source I prefer to keep secret; You Make My Dreams Come True by Hall and Oates, Magic by the Cars, You Might Think by the Cars, Saturday ( I Like to Move it ) by Basshunter, I Feel You by Depeche Mode, Burnin Desire by Lana Del Rey,In Your Room by the Bangles, Some Guys Have All The Luck by Robert Palmer,I Can’t Stay Away by the Veronicas, Delirious by Steve Aoki feat. Kid Ink Chris Lake Tujamo, Come Baby Come by K7,A Horse With No Name by America, Come Go With Me by Expose, I Feel You by Depeche Mode, I Think We’re Alone Now by Tiffany, Jump Around by House of Pain,Heaven is a Place on Earth by Belinda Carlisle, Out of the Blue by Debbie Gibson, One Way Trip by Havana Brown, Confident by Demi Lovato, Good for You by Selena Gomez feat. A$ap Rocky, Make Me Like You by Gwen Stefani, Do Ya Think I’m Sexy by Rod Stewart feat. DNCE, Cake by the Ocean by Rod Stewart, Addicted by Saving Abel, Get Low by Liam Payne and Zedd, Love So Soft by Kelly Clarkson, Team by Iggy Azalea, Glamorous by Fergie feat. Ludacris, My House by Flo Rida, That’s What I Like by Bruno Mars, Hymn for the Weekend by Coldplay feat. Beyonce, Paradise by Coldplay, Don’t You Worry Child by Swedish House Mafia feat. John Martin,What Lovers Do by Maroon 5 feat. SZA, Move Your Body by Sia,More Than You Know by Axwell, The Look of Love by ABC, Strip That Down by Liam Payne feat. Quavo, Angel by Madonna, Love So Soft by Kelly Clarkson, Sowing the Seeds of Love by Tears for Fears,Greenlight by Pitbull feat. Flo Rida and Lunchmoney Lewis, This is What You Came For by Calvin Harris feat. Rihanna, Lady by Austin Mahone feat. Pitbull, Cake by Flo Rida & 99 Percent, This Strange Effect by Hooverphonic,from Pandora Dance Pop Radio; Carry On by Kansas, Replay by Iyaz, Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode, How To Save A Life by the Fray song length 423, I Just Died In Your Arms by Cutting Crew song length 440, OMG by Usher feat. William of the Black Eyed Peas song length 429, from Pandora Dance Cardio Radio; You Make Me Feel by Cobra Starship feat. Sabi, Feel This Moment by Pitbull feat. Christina Aguilera,Turn Me On (Remix)by Kevin Lyttle song length 323,Scream and Shout by Will.i.am and Britney Spears song length 442, S&M (Dave Aude Club mix) by Rihanna song length 728, Calvin Harris Summer extended edition song length 456, Dark Horse by Katy Perry feat. Juicy J song length 335, Calabria 2008 by Enur feat. Natasja, Low by Flo Rida song length 349 (less than 3 hours after I secretly typed My House by Flo Rida from secret sources), Save the World by Swedish House Mafia (Zedd Remix) song length 621, 3 by Britney Spears song length 325, Pandora Dance Pop Radio Broken Wings by Mr. Mister song length 445, Fly by Nicki Minaj and Rihanna, Fly Away by Fat Rat and Anjule, Hold Me Now by Thompson Twins song length 446, Pandora Dance Cardio Radio Back in Time by Pitbull song length 327, Just Dance by Lady Gaga, Amazon music storytelling playlist shuffle mode; The Boys of Summer Don Henley Whatta Man by Salt N Pepa The Power of Love by Huey Lewis and the News Self Control by Laura Branigan Low by Flo Rida feat. Tpain Crazy B by Buckcherry UhOoh Never Leave You by Lumidee feat. Busta Rhymes Take Me Down by Alabama You Can Do Magic by America Step by Step by America

https://scs.georgetown.edu/academics/professional-certificates/

Laurene Powell Jobs is buying a big stake in Wizards, Capitals sports empire

By Thomas Heath

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/capitalbusiness/laurene-powell-jobs-is-buying-a-big-stake-in-wizards-capitals-sports-empire/2017/10/02/065d37ca-a39a-11e7-8cfe-d5b912fabc99_story.html?pushid=59d38230d4ac501c00000092&tid=notifi_push_breaking-news&utm_term=.cc15f9803681

75 Best Colleges for Food for 2017By the Daily Mealhttps://www.msn.com/en-us/foodanddrink/restaurantsandnews/75-best-colleges-for-food-for-2017/ss-AAsDlE5vital intuitive insightsstart food and fitness log by Thursday walk to metro twice by Thursday and to stamp at least tomorrowat least 750 dollars after taxes in savings or more by November 1 2017 or sooneressential therapy and volunteering once a week even if I have to modify my writing and sleep schedule to do it-i.e. leave for therapy andor volunteering at a similar time as my sweet husband Rusty Ridlervolunteering and therapy deadline to set for myself-two weeks from now or lessVolunteering to build my leadership and social/relationship communication skills as well as to cross train myselfletting go of more items by November 8 2017 or soonereating at the same time each daytake educational courses post them online once a weekapply to bachelors degree programs-path to unfold by 5

classdouble majorseeing a ship in my dream two days in a row part of my life purpose-taco bell dreamhave one of the characters discuss sleeptime dreamsdaily-write a little of my planned story I intend to self publish from now on in secret email, complete by ideally December 1,2017 or soonera day in the life of my ideal look at least once a weektwice a week what I am doing nowaimee gates and career daily ideally but do aimee gates first but strive to do both once a weekAdditional intuitive insights especially to develop my creativity-Part 2Ideally once a weekDivide into travel to future heaven worlds for career guidance and future earthCurrent earth life-relocation/travel edition plus communication with celestial spirit ally teamSleeptime dream entry career diary, future higher self in already created script entries and new ones on my off days at least once a week aim to do once a week, Weight loss richer life edition career life before and career life afterwards,5 Scripting4 Aimee gates3 A day in the life of-5 profiles8 times higher self-future afterlife a monthVital Intuitive InsightDivide into travel to future heaven worlds for career guidance and future earthCurrent earth life-relocation/travel edition plus communication with celestial spirit ally teamSleeptime dream entry career diary, future higher self in already created script entries and new ones on my off days at least once a week aim to do daily, Weight loss richer life edition career life before and career life afterwards,

For moments when writing must be rationed to an hour or shorter/brieferLaw of attraction 6 to 7 months projected or sooner and a law of attraction exercise

Resources part threeYoutube video; 2015 Midsummer Fantasy Festival Official After Video from Norfolk FesteventsYoutube video; Norfolk Harborfest2017-Silver IFEA Award Winner Best Video from Norfolk FesteventsYoutube video sponsored by VisitNorfolkVirginia; Norfolk is Distinct Diverse and Dynamic

buying a cheap car7 rules for buying a cheap used car with cash

http://clark.com/cars/buying-a-used-car-with-cash/

How to Buy a Really, Really Cheap Car

https://www.cartalk.com/blogs/jim-motavalli/how-buy-really-really-cheap-car

Tips on how to find a cheap, reliable used car to buy

By Philip Nerdwallet

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/personalfinance/2016/11/12/nerdwallet-buyin-a-reliable-used-car/93667546/

20 Cheapskate Secrets to Buying a New Car

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/gobankingrates/20-cheapskate-secrets-to_b_9473230.html

https://www.edmunds.com/car-buying/10-steps-to-buying-a-used-car.html

7 Considerations For Buying A Cheap Car

https://www.modestmoney.com/7-considerations-for-buying-a-cheap-car/

https://scs.georgetown.edu/programs/70/master-of-professional-studies-in-public-relations-corporate-communications/overview?utm_source=Google&utm_medium=Search&utm_campaign=FY18_GDN_RT_PRCC_728x90&gclid=CPmR8tDy0dYCFdaNswodDAsL2w

What’s The Best Place To Buy A Cheap And Good Used Car by Steven Lang

http://www.thedrive.com/opinion/5015/whats-the-best-place-to-buy-a-cheap-and-good-used-car

Everything you need to know about Hugh Hefner's 4 children, who could inherit his Playboy empireBy Carrie Witmer

http://www.businessinsider.com/who-are-hugh-hefners-4-children-cooper-marston-david-christie-2017-9/#cooper-hefner-26-years-old-1

I'm 27 and I've saved $200,000 — here are the 7 best pieces of advice I can give you about moneyBy The Money Wizard

http://www.businessinsider.com/best-advice-money-millennial-saver-investor-2017-9

https://www.hugoboss.com/us/womens-clothing-accessories/

Amazon recently made a 10-part series about Hugh Hefner's life — here's how to watch itBy Carrie Wittmer

http://www.businessinsider.com/amazon-made-series-american-playboy-the-hugh-hefner-story-watch-2017-9

‘The White Princess’ Finally Coming To The UK In November On UKTV Drama

https://www.geektown.co.uk/2017/10/03/white-princess-finally-coming-uk-november-uktv-drama/

Arizona State University Onlinehttps://www.asu.edu/success stories such as Shelby Giles, Dyanne Smithhttps://scs.georgetown.edu/programs/70/master-of-professional-studies-in-public-relations-and-corporate-communications/success-stories

storytelling ideas/conceptsGreater Talent Network, a major speaking bureauDistinguished visiting professor of politicsDistinguished Visiting Professor of WritingCareer Adviser in the Department of Communications UCLAMember of Advisory board of an online education and certification firmHousing First ProgramNon-profit organizationAmateur triathlete and runnerNation’s TriathlonWashington D.C. TriathlonSave 10 percent adAn interesting ad that popped up less than 3 minutes after I typed the word Move by SiaAn amazon intell ad saying if your customer is on the move join them, due to the website link being connected to my amazon website link I prefer to avoid listing it from amazon for privacy reasons relating to my login, however I had to at least reference the words for anyone seeing this who wants to look up the ad on amazon.This Strange Effect by Hooverphonic resonated within my soul today less than 10 minutes ago after hearing it featured on an ad connected to youtube today of a woman in love with her partner who wants to capture an image for her on what looks to be a phone. The song is both haunting and beautiful in a unique way especially with the gorgeous vocals.The youtube song for those curious to listen to itThis Strange EffectHooverphonic Topic

https://www.rotita.com/long-sleeve-skew-neck-midi-dress-g187568.html?gclid=CLXgvtLq1NYCFYaLswodSbQPqQ

http://www.homedepot.com/b/Paint-Paint-Colors/N-5yc1vZcaw8?cm_mmc=ola|carat|10876605|200950979|403208338|91941981

listed price 1797 for paintAs with other people, my prayers and well wishes go out to everyone affected by this shocking incident that occurred in Nevada during the Harvest Music country festival. Obviously, I do not condone whatever drove Stephen Paddock to do what he did to many innocent people yet I am surprised that one motive is not being as widely discussed; what was Stephen Paddock’s social life, love life, and overall career life like from the time he was in his 30s andor even his 20s until 64 years of age. I say this because I noticed that he chose to kill so many people when they were having fun with their friends for family, was he wishing that he could be like some of the concert goers who have abundant family members andor friends surrounding him but instead of channeling that energy to get out there and meet people like other people do, you can pretty much get the picture. Additionally, I would also see if the law enforcement officials are comfortable interviewing Paddock’s family andor even at least one or both of his exes andor in laws again to see if he was always rich in order to see if he felt the need to do what he did to both inflict revenge andor save face as it is human nature for even some family members to keep their distance emotionally if they are concerned about you possibly needing their help financially even if temporarily andor they would freely offer their help. I would also interview the in-laws andor any coworkers andor friends he knew in his 40s andor 50s to get an idea of how his social and love life was like without shaming anyone if they happen to tell a harsh truth about him (in order to get them to feel safe to open up about any hidden motives that may not be apparent to other people who may not have gotten to know him until Paddock was in his 50s/60s when he became wealthier). I believe Paddock’s brother that they got along, but obviously there had to be some details that were hidden from even his brother as it is also human nature to sometimes withhold andor be secretive about certain things from even the most well-meaning family members.Las Vegas shootingSpecial ed teacher, kindergarten teacher, nurse who shielded wife among those killedBy Emily Shapiro and Julia Jacobo

https://www.yahoo.com/gma/registered-nurse-among-those-killed-las-vegas-mass-173706625--abc-news-topstories.html

I am keeping this Washington Post link pertaining to Laurene Powell Jobs both for storytelling reasons and to help me understand some of the stories that catch other people’s attention as it pertains to real-life.

Laurene Powell Jobs is buying a big stake in Wizards, Capitals sports empire by Thomas Heath

I admit that this article pertaining to Prince George’s School Lunch menu catches my attention both because Prince William and his wife Kate Middleton seem like a happy couple in love who also care about their kids and also due to the nature of my job pertaining to food services at a university. Thanks to my current job I am aware of at least a couple of long-term/lifetime career goals/ideas to have and this article pertaining to the meal plan at Prince George’s school gives me a fun and creative idea on imagining what the school lunch ladies at Thomas Battersea School work to prepare foodwise.Prince George's School Lunch Menu Is Revealed, and It's Fancier Than a 5-Star RestaurantBy Perri Konecky of PopSugarhttps://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/prince-george-apos-school-lunch-203000729.htmlhttps://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/prince-george-apos-school-lunch-203000729.html

Resources

AffirmationsI mark a new beginning in the book of my life and wisely use the free time I have been giving to rest and tune even deeper into various aspects of my life-spiritual, athletic goals such as walking more, balancing my writing time with some online courses I have enrolled in etc.I am in the process of becoming more cool,level-headed, and wise when it comes to how I conduct myself around my current work colleagues and future coworkers as I am now logically and intuitively aware that some of them may follow me to where I may reside within 7 years from now or less regardless if I am a private sector andor a government/military worker/employee.

I am well provided for. I live in an abundant universe.

http://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/stage-names.php#.WTqvpOvyucw

http://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/dimension-names.php#.WXs6PVWGOcw

Resources and Affirmation

http://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/destiny-awoken-names.php#.WXs611WGOcwns

http://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/My psychic abilities expand each day.I am creating heaven on earth.

more resources

part 3 resourcesI understand that I already posted these yet I admit that I am following my intuition and logic to post these again in both the career stories and scripts for towards the end affirmations and resourcesAffirmationsEach Day I am in the process of improving upon creating heaven on earth for myself and my husband in all areas of my life both present and future as well as for the highest and greatest good for everyone involved.I Stella Carrier am in the process of balancing my earthly concerns with areas pertaining to my celestial/spiritual growth as they intersect with my pursuit and intent to tap into the essence of wisdom and my genius abilities in all areas of my life both present and future.I Stella Carrier enjoy the blessings of my imaginative abilities, intuition, creativity, and my gift of resourcefulness all increasing each day in all areas of my life both present and future.Affirmations

I am creating heaven on earth.

I am learning to be in the right place at the right time at all times.

I am learning to live all areas of my life in alignment with my divine life purpose for both the present and future

My psychic/intuitive abilities, creativity/imaginative abilities, and my ability to tap into my wisdom are expanding each and every day.

https://www.orindaben.com/pages/rooms/affirmations_room/

I am a healer through my words, thoughts, and deeds.

I am aware of the messages my guide is sending me.

I receive impressions from my soul and higher self.

I am magnetic to my higher good and it is magnetic to me.Celestial Intuitive InsightsGoal; aim for 6 miles per day and writing 5 times a week time limit one hour and 30 minutes, resource gathering 15 minutes max- one hour and 45 minutes max minimum half hour and minimum 2 minute resource blogging, eat first and then write, writing twice a week away from blog, public blog writing at least 4 times a week and maximum of 7 times a week

Schedule them persistence is imaginative and intuitive keyOther things for me to keep in mindEat first thing in the morning ideally at homeMale playlist-akon beautifulCarry pictures of my body inspirations aroundUsing the career process book my friend gave meYear 2024 or laterClassroom party settingAllow delay or writing today but create tomorrow the following writingsWhat I did do rightIntuitive insightsSleeptime inspired/waking life storytelling ideas

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