#If you read all this CONGRATS and I'm still not done rambling

[ankhegs-in-my-salad]

I'm not even sure why I'm writing this, but I felt like I needed to get it off my chest.

My wonderful friend @tavyliasin made a lovely addition to this post about how important giving your friends positive feedback can be to people, specifically former gifted kids, and I wanted to chime in with my own addition but it got super long and wasn't even the original point of the post lmao so here I am.

Anyway, we got some awesome insight about how leaving your lovely feedback is especially beneficial to former gifted kids in the previous post. Under the cut - me rambling about why positive feedback means so much to me, the Chronically Mediocre Kid.

Growing up, I was always painfully mid. I worked my absolute ass off to get my passing grades, and I got them for the most part. I wasn't good enough to be told I was doing well and I wasn't bad enough to actually get any help. Got into uni by the skin of my teeth and my degree the same way. I was stuck in middle-of-the-road land and pretty much always have been, with the exception of one notable outlier in my late 20's.

Now, as the name would suggest, us Mediocre Kids are very easy to forget about. We're just kinda there, and there's a lot of us. The NPCs or the studio extras, filling out space in the background of the class.

So how does this tie into writing or art or fandom in general?

For myself, and probably a lot of other people like me, writing in fandom has been the first real time to get that positive validation beyond "congrats you passed! You achieved the bare minimum!" I didn't get it at school (the place where, upon telling my chemistry teacher that I wanted to study chemistry at uni, was told verbatim "but you have to be smart to study chemistry") and it certainly wasn't at uni (where I had to resit a year and where the defence of my dissertation started with the words "the first thing we hated about it was[...]").

God, looking back I wish I had started posting fan fic so much earlier. Yes, comments are few and far between but when you get them? Oh my god.

Now I want to preface this by saying - Yes, I know that "you shouldn't write for validation" and I absolutely don't. I've been writing since I could hold a pen and only started posting stuff for actual humans to read in October. Does my background sound like that of someone who expected to get validation from strangers online? You can bet your arse that isn't why I'm here. It was just an absolutely massive unexpected bonus.

Fan fiction sent me from "congrats on the bare minimum" to someone telling me my silly AO3 story was their favourite thing they'd ever read on that whole website.

Do you have any idea what that does to someone who has spent their whole life being "good enough"? "Fine"? "Passed"? I was never good or bad enough to receive attention. My performance always "unnoteworthy". And that was fine, I always told myself. Because, as mentioned above, I've always been doing stuff for me and me alone. I learned early there wasn't any point in doing it for anyone else. Do you know how it felt to have a complete stranger reach out to me through the Internet and tell me that something that I had done, something that I had created, had a profound effect upon them?

Folks, I fucking cried.

For someone like me, every single comment, kudos, tag, all of it, is incredibly special. Even a comment as simple as an emoji or "loved this". It puts a little piece into a void in me that I didn't even know was there. It makes me feel as though maybe, if I can make one person happy with my writing, bring someone that kind of joy, there is more to me than just "passing grade".

And let me tell you, I'm still not used to it. It's one of the most wonderful feelings. And if you feel it too, don't ever let anyone make you feel bad for "seeking validation" or whatever. We know that's not why we're here, but my goodness if it doesn't make a difference when we get it.

So, to anyone who has ever given kudos, made a comment, left a tag on a post, any of it - thank you. It means more than I think a lot of people could ever know.

[linagram]

everyone's album covers, song previews and album trailer voicelines!

YESSSSSSSSSSSS I'M FINALLY DONE WITH ALL OF THEM *falls on the floor*

okay okay i'm actually kinda proud of myself?? :'D like i always prefer just. drawing characters even though i don't really avoid drawing backgrounds and i don't find drawing them that difficult but i rarely pay attention to things like. doors so yeah it's kinda cool that i've managed to come up with ten different door designs and draw them! even though most of them don't even look like doors. it's okay listen i just wanted to make them as weird as their mvs okay

(also about some prisoners having the symbols on their uhhh restraints and most of them not having them. well you see i just didn't have any energy left to draw them so i was like "it's fine i'll just draw the actual symbols later" and guess what. i didn't :) and i'm too tired to draw all of them so y-yeah. honestly maybe i'll change the symbols to something else like it takes way too much time to draw them and they're not even that close to the canon ones)

okay sorry for rambling, you can read everyone's song previews, titles (though you can see them on the covers, but still. or maybe you can't see them i'm sorry if the text is hard to read 😭) and album trailer voicelines under the cut! and also more of my rambling

Album trailer voicelines:

Akio: "DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!"

Aimi: "Don't you think that's kind of.. unprofessional?"

Shun: "I-Isn't it a good thing that I'm getting better?"

Naomi: "But in the end, I've simply decided to agree with you."

Kei: "It's time for your punishment, Eiji~"

Eiko: "It's like.. your life finally has a purpose."

Asahi: "I wanna go home, even if I don't have one anymore."

Yurika: "THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE!"

Riku: "Haha, trust me, I'm strong enough to do that."

Reina: "So, yeah, the show's over."

Song titles:

Akio: The King's Execution

Aimi: Mask of Kindness

Shun: Wrong Route

Naomi: Your Story

Kei: Web of Desire

Eiko: As Seen On TV

Asahi: 'Cause I Deserve It

Yurika: Bitter Aftertaste

Riku: Trendsetter

Reina: Death of the Author

Song previews:

Akio: "Come on, fight me, punch me, beat me to death,

Show me how you've really felt about me all this time

There's no one left to support me, no one left to call me "Your Majesty"

I guess it's time for me to admit my defeat" 

Aimi:

"Let's have as much fun as we can today, like this is the last day of our lives

I won't ask you to be careful, I know you won't listen to me anyway

Let's make these moments more colorful than ever before

Let's turn today into our best masterpiece"

Shun:

"I know that this is the best option, I don't even need a guide

"Real life"? What's that? Some kind of joke?

I know you will love me in every world and universe

Tell me I'm your everything, let me get the best ending"

Naomi:

"I can't believe I found out about this only now

Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't anyone else tell me about this?

Your life was so short, but so full of pain

Does this mean that I've saved you from all that suffering?"

Kei:

"Congrats, you've fallen right into my trap

Make yourself comfortable, you're in for a long ride

Tying you up, choking and biting

Keep your eyes on me, take those rose-colored glasses off"

Eiko:

"Yay, she did it, good for her! What an icon, am I right?

Haha, thank you, thank you! Serves him right, I know

You've forgiven me, darling, so let me thank you properly

Tell me what you want, I will give you everything and more"

Asahi:

"Give me more, you know that it'll never be enough for me

You want me to repay you? That's funny

Why should you give me so much and get nothing in return?

It's obvious, 'cause I deserve it"

Yurika:

"Please, please, make my world sweet again

This world is so cold, so bitter, if I take a bite, I'll get poisoned for sure

Hey, hey, what are you saying? You want more sugar as well?

Sure, anything for my master! But you're not her, so get out."

Riku:

"Now, listen, I don't like to do this

I'm not the type to abuse my power

But looks like it's time for you to get what you deserve

So get him, everyone, I'll pat you on the head later"

Reina:

"What about my crime? What about my sins?

Well, why don't you figure it out yourself?

I'll let you decide, I'll let you write my story

Aren't you the one who's supposed to judge us anyway?"

Random facts about everyone's song titles, lyrics and doors (spoiler-free. mostly):

The silhouettes from Akio's T1 MV are back!

If you've read Aimi's T1 MV description, you probably already went "Wait, is her song title a reference to that mask from her video?" and you are correct!

Shun's song title is kinda supposed to be a pun? Basically it's a reference to dating sims, character routes and all that stuff, but it's also supposed to mean taking a wrong path in life or something like that.

Naomi's song title was the hardest one to come up with and it turned out to be the most boring one. I am so sorry.

I actually wouldn't say that Asahi's door shows his MV that well, since his video will actually have mostly white and green colors, but I thought that a door like that would look boring, so yeah, I made it more colorful!

"Why is Yurika's door like that?" Oh, don't worry, compared to Asahi's door, Yurika's door shows her MV perfectly fine <3

Riku's door. Riku's door made me go through so much pain, IT WAS THE LAST DOOR I CAME UP WITH. I LITERALLY HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO DRAW. Not even because I dislike his MV, it's just that his MV has this motif that's. Very hard to show as a door. Like all ideas I had just sounded stupid so I decided to go with something like this instead. Also I still hate drawing chains and I used a brush instead.

Yes, Naomi's door just. Looks like a diary. BUT I TRIED TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A DOOR OKAY I TRIED

Reina's door having a more "actor-like" motif probably doesn't make much sense because of the song title, but trust me, it does. And yes, her song title is based on the trope of the same name.

Aimi's song lyrics kinda sound like a sequel to her T1 song though i guess her t2 song can be called that here, but the rest of the lyrics sound more different. And yes, there will be more of their song lyrics in the MV descriptions this time >:)

Kei's song lyrics are actually supposed to be much more sad this time and even the chorus will sound differently in the end.

Reina, please, stop breaking the fourth wall, you're becoming way too powerful.

[jupiter-nwn]

So sorry to burst your bubble, but you will be spending those two hours frantically reading your chapters for the test in period one because you had a project last week and couldn't do any reading.

But congrats on uni!

Also, as an adhder, I only do afternoon/evening classes because I have delayed sleep phase syndrome and it often takes me two or more hours to fall asleep without meds, so my sleep schedule is always shifting later, so waking up before ten any day is miserable.

Waking up for school was probably the worst normal thing I experienced in childhood. Horrendous :(

I won't take any class that starts later than 10:30, and if we're not doing something important or they don't take attendance, I'm probably skipping most of those lectures.

Ghfbsnbcb yeah I know I won't be resting on those hours, but I don't have that many classes this year and I'm still not sure of how's it gonna be, I'll slowly get used to it ig

Personally I also struggle with sleeping but I'm barely even functional if there's something that needs to be done in the afternoon, idk how that'll change once I finally get meds but rn I'm undiagnosed and unmedicated so I gotta. Take things however I can!!

Another goal of mine is to not skip classes but that's easy because I'm anxious enough about missing class as it is sjnfnnd

Waaaaa and I know no one in my class yet!! Talked to some people also studying this but none of them were in my group (morning classes in valencian, most people I talked to were in the spanish classes and in the afternoon classes) I do know that the number of girls vs boys is entirely disproportionate (computer science smh) so idk idk

I hope I'll do well, in any case, once I get my diagnosis (please 😭😭😭) I can make use of the accessibility program thingies they have for nd people

Waaaaaaa I'm just rambling a lot and I don't know what to expect at ALL

[nicosraf]

*sprinting into your ask mailbox thing, panting*

Pardon me, pardon me hi I JUST CAME FROM TIKTOK (https://vm.tiktok.com/ZM6bPd7nf/) and someone said someone said that the line "Do you know I could break beneath the weight of the goodness, love, I still carry for you?" from the song Unknown/Nth by Hozier is meant to be like Lucifer screaming out to God from the ninth level of hell saying that he still loves him despite the hurt and abandonment AND OHH MY STARSSSSS the very first thing I thought of was to run here and say 2 things:

1. There is no song about painful yearning that I can listen to now and NOT think about Lucifer and Michael 🥹🫵🏽 So, thank you for that (honestly, thank you😭)

2. And I think, having read ABM, that the line from the Hozier song is like...I interpret it as Michael and Lucifer basically (internally) screaming out to each other from Heaven and Hell (I'm assuming that's where Lucifer ended up) respectively saying that "I STILL LOVE YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU ABANDONED ME"...cus I think they both feel that way, one way or the other.

I could write essays!

I've demanded a hardcover copy of ABM from my family for graduation so I can read it again but this time...in ✨hardcover✨

Annnnnd congrats on your PhD programme.🥹🫵🏽 Well done to you and all the best.

THANK YOU FOR THE BOOKS (I'm including A&M and the third installment that resides in your brain). I might never recover.🩷

Hello !

Ive been recommended that song a few times!! It's really good! And I really like that interpretation of Lucifer still loving God. I can ramble about this but I will hold myself back. Now —

I'm sorry!! Michael and Lucifer are in my head all the time ! Even haply goofy song make me think of them...

:) i don't want to spoil canon things about their feelings after getting ripped apart but there's a lot of love and there's a lot of hate. They abandoned each other. They hate each other. (They miss each other).

Thank you so much for ordering the hardcover!! I think it's very pretty. And thank you for the congratulations... it means a lot to me! I hope you'll like A&M! Ahhh

[shytastemakerthing]

helloo!! can I get twisted wonderland match up? romance please

I've never done this so I'm just gonna be specific as possible and hope I did it right <3 also please no first years because of the age

I'm 5'7, 17 y/o almost 18, girl, dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, pale, skinny, virgo (born in late august)

I love video games, especially games with combat. I also like reading books, especially fantasy books or horror, I like excercise and a very specific thing about me is that I love horses and ride them. I've been riding them ever since I was little. I love animals in general. I have 2 cats, a dog and a horse.

I am a very shy person (I need someone else to ask a thing for me at a restaurant otherwise I won't do it type of shy) but can defend myself in certain moments. I don't like loud/rude people or people who try to make a problem out of small things. but I love people who help me better myself or pick me up when needed even if it comes off as 'rude'

I don't like heavy pda only hand holding and a small kiss. however I love cuddling in private and kinda clingy but not annoyingly clingy.

I deadass love doing homework and orginazing things and cleaning. I like make up even tho I'm not good at it most of the time. cooking/baking is actually my favorite thing to do at home.

I love love love fashion but like more simple and elegant or cute.

I had to ask my gf for half of these things 😅 so I hope I did it right. thank you again!!! 💕🙏

A/N: Hello and thank you for your request! Happy Birthday if it has already passed and I hope that it was a wonderful day! Consider the match-up a little birthday gift (maybe late if it's past your birthday), and I do hope that you like it! Enjoy!

Tw: None

I match you with..........

Azul Ashengrotto

Much like yourself, he isn't the biggest when it comes to PDA, he does have an image to maintain after all while out with his peers. Not to mention, he has made a number of enemies with those contracts of his and the last thing that he would want is for something to happen to you. Though, if you both happen to share a class and are seated with one another, maybe the both of you will hold pinkies but that is about it.

Behind closed doors in the safety of either of your rooms? Congrats, you now have a clingy and cuddly octopus latched to your hip. Perhaps one of the very few things he likes about his merform is all the extra arms that he can use to hug you. Though, sometimes they have a mind of their own and will not unlatch from you when he needs them too........ (yes you still have those sucker mark imprints)

Azul absolutely loves the fact that you love organizing things. Look at him. He is one organized man. Between being a mafia boss business man, owner of a lounge, running Octavinelle dorm, and a number of other things, this man needs to stay organized. He would absolutely love it if you helped him out with that.

When it comes to homework, please come over to the VIP lounge and he will work with you. If there is anything that you are struggling with, he will gladly help you, and for free! Maybe he'll even throw in a drink or some snacks. Anything for you (and yes, the tweels tease him relentlessly about this)

Speaking of the tweels, the moment you are official with Azul, you get scary..... eel rights. No one ever messes with you, lest one of the twins show up right at that very moment.

I feel like Azul knows at least knows a little bit about video games, and that is because of his club meetings with Idia. The Ignihyde housewarden has a habit of rambling on about his latest game obsession. Perhaps you would like to join them for club meetings some time?

Azul's mama owns a restaurant, he has been around amazing cooking from a young age. Tell me he can't cook. He will absolutely cook you something, anything that you want. Your smile makes it all worth it, especially if you love the meal he has prepared for you. Even better if it's something that the both of you get to work on together.

Overall, our beloved octopus is absolutely smitten with you, and can be just as cuddly and clingy. He loves that you love him for him, he loves who you even help keep himself organized when things are just too crazy. And he will always love you for who you are.

[amazinglyegg]

Give us the headcanons plsssss

Ask and you shall receive! I wasn't actually expecting anyone to be interested in this so I'm hyped!!

Transfem! Danse Headcanons

I personally think that queerness in general is very normalized in the wasteland

Like, it's 2277. The Brotherhood doesn't give a shit what your gender is. Scribe Haylen would probably do your top surgery on the ground in the police station if you asked politely

What I'm trying to say is if Danse's egg cracks while he's in the Brotherhood "Not wanting to transition to prevent transphobia/sexism/general issues in the workplace" wouldn't be a reason to stay in the closet

It's more of the fact that Danse has created this little niche for himself, that he has so little identity outside of the Brotherhood that he feels the need to hold onto every scrap he has, even if that scrap is, well, "male".

My original idea for the drawing I made was Danse losing a bet/game/etc during his more ~wild~ Knight days and Cutler (plus some other knights) made him wear a skirt/dress/etc as "punishment"

And Danse is embarrassed and whatever, he's being laughed at, and then he goes back to his quarters to change and for the first time actually gets a glance at himself in the mirror and woah

It's more than a bit awkward - the clothes are ratted and don't fit properly, he's probably wearing his flight suit underneath, but there's a flutter in his chest that's more than just the lingering embarrassment of the lost bet

Egg successfully cracked. Now to just push down and hide those feelings about as much as he hid that dress in the back of his closet

I also wouldn't be surprised if he went through an "aw fuck I have a crossdressing kink" phase before he truly realizes he's trans

Partially because A. He's a bit repressed, both sexually and in general, and probably connects dresses and bras and general prettiness to "sexuality" rather than "womanhood", and B. It's common for your sex drive to increase once you start feeling gender euphoria

And he's completely oblivious about it all, too. He talks to trans people and watches his teammates transition and he goes "hmm good for them. I can't ever imagine what that'd be like!" And then prompty locks himself in his room, puts on a dress he "borrowed" from the lost and found, jacks off, and cries for 45 minutes.

It probably doesn't click for him until someone looks him in the eyes and says "hey man, you know you can just... be a girl, right? Like, 24/7 for the rest of your life?" And Danse is like oh my fucking god. Holy shit.

And let's be honest, with how Danse doesn't open up very much, that person would probably be Sole, and it'd probably be post-bb

Dealing with a gender identity crisis ON TOP of a synth identity crisis might be a bit much for him though so... let him take it slow

I would love to see Danse mess with his pronouns a bit - maybe she/they or she/he?

I can imagine him still having a strong attachment to his manhood, due to it being one of the only aspects of himself that really exists and isn't either ripped away from him (like the Brotherhood and Cutler) or a fake memory

So he'll go for demigender or bigender or SOMETHING not binary trans that includes both his current womanhood and his past manhood that he still connects to

The TRANS part of "transfem" is super important to him

Totally not me projecting with my own experiences as transmasc

ALSO I like to imagine he gets gender envy from the WEIRDEST things

Like Sole sneaks this shirt into his laundry:

And he is. Entranced.

Stares at himself in the mirror for the next like ten minutes straight

Haylen knocks on the door like "Hey Danse? buddy? You good in there...?"

And Danse is softly weeping like "I want them to be real... 🥺"

OKAY I'M DONE FOR NOW. I hope you enjoyed transfem Danse rambles. If you read this far congrats here's some pride edits for your commitment:

[civilotterneer]

Model Improvements Coming and Updates

Hey yall. I know a bunch of you like my renders and I'm super appreciative of it! I've got a bit of an announcement that's a read below:

I've noticed with some renders I've been doing that the models have a couple of issues. This is all part of my learning process but for some reason I feel like Lye's face has become harder and harder to work with ever since I updated to Blender 4.0.

I'm hoping to take some time and improve them both, adding some new features and improving how they move. Most importantly, Lye needs a lot of work having been my first model I created from nearly scratch. There's a lot of weird things happening to her face that I'm unsure why is happening (Nevermind the fact that I've been procrastinating making more face shapes). It's really hard for me to get enough time to really sit down and make these improvements with all that's happening in life right now, so hopefully I'll make them soon.

In the meantime, I'll still post using what I have, especially for asks. Just note that Lye may not look as good as she should and that Civ may spontaneously gain a 4th finger and some paw pads in the future. I'll continue working on Laundry Day next week now that I'm done building my snake's new enclosure.

I'm glad to see how many people like my art! Even when a piece gets like 5 notes, it really means a ton to me. When people leave funny tags or responses to the post, it's even more exciting and motivating! It's really invigorating and makes me want to make these improvements to the models so I can make even more and of better quality renders in the future! Thanks for bearing with me!

Congrats! You read this far into my ramble and I appreciate it! Here's a mischievous Civ thinking unclean thoughts as a reward:

[boopernatural]

I'm reading alabaster fic and I have to say

I've seen other fics where sarah was murdered and all, but this one... The whole concept of her going to the movie theater with her friends and then being killed when going to the bathroom...and the details of the night... It gives me the creeps, it gives me chills and all because it's such a realistic concept. As someone who has watched a lot of true crime content, the story of sarah is like it came out of a real life case because you made it all seem a little too scary and real????? When the chapter of the footage came and you described that sarah went to the bathroom and a man came a little shortly after without no one noticing, I actually imagined the camera footage so well in my head that gave me goosebumps, like the footage exists. I also imagined those true crime youtubers talking about sarah as one of the cases I've watched before and God, it's all seems so real. Anyways, that might be the strangest compliment you will get tonight, but congrats!

Well firstly, thank you for reading! I’m so glad that you’re able to picture everything and that it’s feeling realistic. That is a very flattering and genuinely wonderful compliment to get. Thank you!!

Secondly, I just have to say, regarding the creepiness of the footage… I’m SO happy that all came across. The visuals of the man in the Members Only jacket are actually something that I find downright terrifying myself.

There is some true crime content about The Eastburn family, a really heartbreaking case that thankfully after many years did get solved. But I remember learning about that case and the description of the suspect creeping through the night in a Members Only jacket really stuck with me, really creeped me out? That image and just knowing what that man had done…

Anyway, small tidbit but that visual is definitely inspired by some real life criminals.

It’s been such an experience writing this fic because I love true crime, it has so much power when used well, so much awareness and so much capacity to actually get movement on cases that have been cold for years. I’ve been consuming true crime content for probably a decade now, documentaries, podcasts etc. and it really has changed me fundamentally. I think the most important thing you can take away from these stories is compassion and empathy for the victims and their families, which should drive a passion for change. I won’t get into all my opinions on the legal system, but knowing the way it so often lets down victims and their loved ones… well, it’s no wonder justice has become a crowd-funded phenomenon.

I didn’t mean to ramble- ahh. At the end of the day this is just a story I wrote because I got an idea and wanted to explore, obviously we’re not making an impact here, but I still wanted to make sure these themes are present throughout. I feel like that’s important to this story.

Thank you for reading the fic and I’m really glad you’re enjoying it!

[unofficial-book-of-quotes-tm]

Hello there, this is more of an admin and eye candy post, bar the eye candy and more admin. When you see this post, it means that the previous post was the last I made for series 1 (if there are still quotes you want to see from that series, you can keep sending them in), next up will be the survey for series 2, and after that, obviously, I officially begin posting about series 2. Congrats for making it this far and thank you for staying with me throughout!

Now, I won't mind if you skip this post as the next bit will be me rambling on a bit about series 1, kind of a few final words, impresssions and so on as it's still fresh on my mind (although when you see this post I will probably be done with series 2 at this point). So, if you jump off here, thanks anyway and I hope I'll see you back in series 2!

I really like series 1 as a whole, and when someone asks me where they should start watching Taskmaster, I always recommend this one. It's just perfect as an introduction, giving you a gist of what to expect. Yes, Greg and Alex don't yet have their dynamic entirely down but it's already mostly there, the contestants are just so much fun to watch and the tasks are great. I honestly don't have a favourite when it comes to this series, so I'm not cross at all that Josh wins this one by only one point. It also helps a lot that they all are more well-known comedians than others that'll come later, at least I was familiar with everyone except for Frank (and Alex and Greg to be fair). Frank is just a treasure in this one, as are Romesh and Josh. I really like Tim's out of the box thinking at times, which hands him some great triumphs over the course (and the cheating as well). My only problem, and problem is way too strong a word, lies with Roisin. I like her, but most of the time she seems so hopelessly out of her depths, which makes for good quotes, but so often I wanted to put my head through a wall watching her, although she does have her moments in which she shines (e.g. making the Swede blush). Overall, this series is great and I love it to bits, it had to accomplish so many things and it managed to do so, although with some minor hiccups, which don't take away from the joy it brings to me and I'm really glad I found an excuse in creating this blog to rewatch it. Thank you for reading, and I'll see you in series 2.

[lyra-swan]

Hiiiii I know you're offline as I'm writing this but nevertheless I still felt like jumping into your inbox and word-vomiting for a second because I've been following Mechanical Angel for quite some time now and picked it up again recently and I just made it to part IV, god I'm having a blast. I can't wait to put all my full, extensive thoughts out there once I'm done but for now I need to stress that I'm just super impressed with both your writing style and the tone/ character development as a whole but the world-building in particular got to me gooood.

Am I right to assume that a lot of research went into this???? Because you can genuinely tell, to the point I literally felt transported to the places as you described them every time and the details are just so captivating to witness. It really feels like I'm reading a ww2 novel, I feel transported back into German literature class on occasion and it's just. Impressive???

Anyway thank you SO MUCH for putting this out there, I'm so happy Mechanical Angel (and all of your works) exist!! I've already noticed that there's another story focused on Natsume/Sora set in the same universe and I can't wait to finally jump into that one too once I'm done with MA. (Especially since Natsume is in my top 4# favorite characters but that's only a bonus)

Last but not least I am very mentally ill over Eimika now, congrats, I'm rotating them in my brain a very normal and totally not concerning amount, haha

May you have a wonderful day!!

Oh hi thank you so much!! I both loved and struggled with Part IV so much, but it was extremely fun to write, especially that dumb part in ch.38... I dunno if you've reached ch.45 but that was also very fun. I hope you continue to enjoy the rest!

I'm going to ramble like an old grandma again, adding a read more thingy so the post won't be a bother to scroll past for others.

In my opinion I don't think I've done enough research! But I'll always feel like that no matter how much I do so bleugh, nevermind. The scenery is typically based on my own surroundings but changed slightly to match an European feel... I think I wrote more in the last ask answer but it has a tiny bit of spoilers, I believe. The setting is a bit of amalgamation of my own country and europe because my own surroundings is what I'm familiar with, and of course although it's supposed to be inspiried by Germany everyone drives on the left side (I think I mentioned it in a chapter note) because I didn't want to accidentally trip over myself from a simple description of where a character turns their head. It's the Little Details that are important!

I say, as if I also didn't mess up a few details here and there because I started posting before finishing the first draft and so I couldn't edit the way I used to do for my previous longfics... But yes, it was very fun adding random bits from what I learned into the story because I used to love watching WW2 docs and laughing every time the nazis messed up and suffered a crippling defeat.

Like, I'd read about how they lied to their citizens that they were doing just dandy, and then have Wataru ask Eichi if he wanted more 'false reports of our so-called victories on the battlefield' to be published in the newspapers. Because that's the funniest shit ever to me...

Then one day I'd read about the nazis being among the first to connect smoking to bad health, and I'd add something like that in a conversation between Eichi and Tatsumi, they're not nazis obviously but because of the setting's inspirations that's where I got a lot of information (but you'll have a scene later on that's more Britain than Germany, so the fic truly is a amalgamation of different european settings during WW2). And of course, people are sceptical of new medical findings, that was mentioned. And the part where Eichi mentions 'common people are suspicious of IV drips' to Mika, that was a thing in the real world too.

I wonder if there is a single medical invention that wasn't regarded with suspicion by at least one person at first.

I kind of wish I had Eichi offering gold watches to anyone who quit smoking, it would've been funny, but eh.

And of course there are some things that don't make sense because this IS an alternate world so I DO have freedom. Like, even though this takes place generally in 1930s-1940s time, tranquiliser guns weren't invented until the 1950s (by a NEW ZEALANDER!!! Colin Murdoch. He's also the genius behind the modern day syringe, if I recall correctly), but you know, I added it in anyway because alternate world, alternate invention timeframes. I wrote that fog scene where Mika is shot by Midori while also sitting outside one dark foggy morning, and I liked the scene so much I kept it in.

Anyway I'm so happy you like the world-building! It was super fun to work on! I really like rural settings for world war stories... one of my favourite authors, Michael Morpurgo has that kind of vibe going on too, my bookshelf has a few of his books. So many dog and animal stories with themes of war lingering in the background if they don't directly deal with war and I love every one of them. They're all so full of emotion, they'd always make me cry. I love the stories that can make me cry and look back and think it was the most beautiful thing I've ever read and Morpurgo's works can do that A LOT. But also I'm very emotional...

And thank YOU for this! I'm always so happy hearing someone enjoyed what I wrote!

I still need to finish that natsusora fic. It was supposed to be a part of the main story itself but because it would've taken so many chapters, I was worried about 'forcing' readers through a side story that had no bearing on eimika. So I posted it as a separate fic! It takes place during that last chapter of Part IV so you can actually have a look whenever you've started Part V.

Natsume is very out of character, however. He's in his 30s and not really the cute feminine witchy boy that he truly is in canon (at least, that's how I see him), he's an engineer and really logical... but he hates Eichi with a passion, that's VERY necessary. Nevertheless, I try to write him as close to his canon self within the au that I've shoved him in and told him to survive in. Totally fine if you end up not liking it!

Excuse the rambling!! Thank you! You have good day!!

[pawacelsus]

Oh my, remaking my 3 am doodle comics is fun

[stubborn-studies]

you know what's the worst? when you're done with organizing a shelf/drawer/cupboard/whatever and you're left with a ton of little things that you can't throw out but don't know where else to put them

[little-spoiled-brat]

congrats on 100 followers!! could i request 3 and 12 from the sfw prompts w erwin?

WRITING PROMPT # 6:

”shh, you’re safe“

”come here. i want to hold you”

pairing: erwin x reader

cw: erwin being vulnerable with y/n

author's note: i can't get my thoughts straight today </3

- emotional release -

erwin smith was strong, everyone inside and outside the scout regiment knew of that fact. he lead the regiment with precision and with such dedication. but of course, all of that could sometimes be too much even for such a strong person like erwin.

the scouts returned back to the walls after a gruesome expedition. no one was prepared to lose comrades today but no matter how prepared or how planned it was, someone always end up losing someone at the end of the day.

"a waste of time"

"is this what taxpayers pay for?"

"useless regiment, can't even get the job done"

spews of negative words were yelled at all of you as you walked through the streets of trost to get back to headquarters. you took a glance at erwin, who was a few rows in front of you. his head was held high, a determined look on his face, a look that told everyone that even if they talked shit about the scouts - about him - that we won't give up until we get back the freedom of humanity.

however, you saw the hurt and regret in his eyes. you saw every emotion that the public couldn't see. being married to erwin and dating for years prior, you could read him like an open book.

erwin lead the regiment back to hq in silence, returning the horses into their respective spots in the stables. you petted the nose of your horse just as erwin returned his horse in the stable next to yours.

"you okay?" erwin asked as he turned to you. you looked up at him, seeing the concern in his eyes and you nodded. "yeah. you?"

erwin simply nodded at you before turning on his heel to head inside the building, his arm lightly brushed against yours - silently telling you to follow.

you walked beside him as he headed to his office and your shared bedroom, erwin closed the door and locked it as you watched his every step, every movement and the message it secretly held.

"come here. i want to hold you" erwin muttered, his voice slightly faltering as he opened his arms for you. you walked over to the tall blonde and wrapped your arms around him tightly.

he rested his head on your shoulder, burying his face in your neck. you ran your hand down his back, calming him down. you soon felt tears dampening the fabric of your uniform, your heart clenched once erwin's broken sob reached your ears. "erwin-"

"i failed them, our comrades. i lead everyone to their deaths every time, they die every time and humanity still isn't free. i'm failing everyone, their sacrifices are going to waste because i can't lead properly. i'm scared that i'm going to eventually lead you to your death too-" erwin rambled, not giving you time to stop him. you felt his body shake from his sobs.

it was usually like this after every expeditions - erwin's emotions that he bottles up becomes too much for him to keep. and every time it does, you're always there to hold him and comfort him.

"erwin, listen to me" you said, pushing him away from you slightly. your eyes met and you wiped away the tears that fell from his ocean blue eyes.

"their deaths are not in vain, it's not for nothing. without their sacrifices, we wouldn't have the motivation to continue moving forward - for them. you're leading us to success. it may seem like you're not but you are, erwin. you're so strong and i admire that about you so much. and i know that you're the one who is capable to lead us to free humanity again" you started as erwin looked at you, focused on the words that left your mouth.

"i'm still here. i'm staying by your side until the very end" you assured with a soft smile as erwin smiled slightly, you went on your tip toes and placed a kiss on his lips. you pulled him to the couch and pulled him into your arms again, running your hand through his hair gently.

erwin ended up falling asleep in your arms as you continued to hold him tight against you, his chest rose and fell in a steady pace as you watched him protectively.

all of a sudden, erwin's breathing got faster. a broken sob left his lips as he started living in an expedition in his dream again. his grip on you tightened and he cried out your name in his sleep.

"erwin" you said, shaking him awake as his nightmare got worse. "y/n! please help me!"

"erwin!" you said, shaking him even more as he shot up and breathed heavily. you cupped his cheeks gently, forcing him to look at you.

"hey, hey. shh, you're safe. you're with me, you're home" you cooed, caressing his cheekbones gently as he slowly got back his grip on reality. erwin pulled you back into his arms, holding you as if you would disappear if he lets go. erwin sighed tiredly as you tightened your grip on him once again.

"thank you, y/n" erwin said once he had calmed down from his short night terror, you smiled and kissed his forehead. erwin slipped into a state of calm because no matter how bad everything gets, he knows that he will always safe with you.

for the rest of the night, you took care of erwin. stayed by his side and pulled him back to earth when he started to remember the gruesome aftermath of the expedition.

[buckleydiazmp4]

for @tootiredmotel 's follower celebration!

day 1: prompt: blue

congrats again Gen, you deserve it <3

college au, 1.2k (read below or ao3)

If Dean Winchester has a prominent talent, it is, without a doubt, painting. He just has this slight problem when it comes to actually painting stuff.

He's not exactly what people would call consistent; he can't just make a painting each week, and he isn't good with deadlines either. It just doesn't feel right, to make art because you're ordered to. His paint brush is just as much a part of his body as any of his other limbs, and none of those run on schedule, so why should this one?

Dean might not be tidy, or stick to a calendar, or function methodically, but when he gets random bursts of inspiration, they're entirely worth it. Once, he was able to paint about 5 pieces just from an ordinary raindrop he happened to see one sunday afternoon, because his brain just works in mysterious ways when it comes to creativity.

Lately, though, his mind is just a bit... lazier than usual, and he has to admit, he's getting a little desperate. He had an assessment due three weeks ago, and he hasn't been able to come up with anything. His teacher, Mrs. Jones, normally gives him a one to two week frame to deliver his homework, because she knows by now that rushing him will just end in disaster. But even by that standard, he's a week overdue by now, and he's getting worried.

"Yes professor, I promise, I'll have it by the end of the week, I'm just having a bit of creative trouble..."

"Listen Dean, you're one of my brightest students, and I hate to rush you. But you've taken too long with this assignment, and I wish I could do something about it, but I've done all I could already. If you don't bring it by Friday, I'm gonna have to fail you."

"Here by Friday, you got it. Thanks."

Dean exits Mrs Jones' classroom, his stress level dialed up to a hundred. He has two days to come up with three full paintings, and his brain is seemingly taking a very long nap. He considers asking Sam for help, but he doesn't think one of his heartfelt pep talks would work for this situation.

Defeated, exhausted, and very hungry, he decides to go to the coffee shop two blocks away from campus. That way, he'll at least have a full tummy. One less worry. He orders some coffee and freshly baked pastries that he eyes in the display, and waits for his order on his usual table by the window. He opens his laptop and browses through some folders where he saves pics for inspiration, but it doesn't help in the slightest.

When he's called back to the counter and retrieves his hot coffee, he's still drilling down on his brain, hopeful for any hint of an idea. And as if his day wasn't already going downhill, he bumps into someone, spilling the coffee on himself.

"Shit!" he hisses, trying to unstick his t-shirt to avoid burning himself further. He seriously considers giving up his career and his life to go backpacking through Europe and never return.

Then, there's a steadying hand posed on his elbow, accompanied by a deep, raspy voice, that has him looking up from the disaster going on on his chest.

"I'm terribly sorry. Are you hurt?" It takes Dean a bit too long to answer, because he's busy staring at the bluest, most beautiful eyes he's ever seen in his life.

"Uhm. What? Oh, no, I'm, uh. I'm okay. Well, as okay as I can be when a cup of scalding coffee is now all over my clothes." Great, now he's rambling. Get it together, Winchester.

"You can use vinegar and dishwashing detergent."

"What?"

The beautiful blue-eyed stranger clears his throat. "To um, clean the coffee, from your clothes. Vinegar and dishwashing detergent. That way it won't stain."

"Oh, uh. Thanks, I'll have that in mind." Seemingly waking up from its slumber, his brain catches on in the scene. "I'm Dean, by the way. Dean Winchester." He holds out his hand, which is immediately greeted by the stranger's. It's warm and soft, with a few callouses.

"Castiel. Nice to meet you." If Dean thought this guy was beautiful before, the smile he gives him then makes him even more of a sight. Dean lets his hand linger for a little too long, but Castiel doesn't seem to care.

After a beat of silence, Castiel offers to buy him a new coffee. Dean insists it was all his fault, but the man is stubborn, so they end up sitting together and splitting Dean's pastries.

"So, Cas, you're a writer?"

"Yeah. It's not exactly an economically rewarding career, but I quite like writing." Castiel (or, well, Cas now), takes another bite from the pastry, little golden flakes landing on the table. Dean stares when he licks his lips, and then he feels like a creep, so he look out the window instead, willing away the redness of his cheeks.

"Yeah, I get what you mean. Most times, things that we love aren't very well paid."

"What do you do?" Cas looks so genuinely interested, it takes Dean by surprise.

"I'm an art student." That reminds him once more of his long overdue homework, but this time, he doesn't feel the worry creeping up on him the way it did earlier.

"Oh, that's wonderful. I'd love to see some of your work. I'm sure it's very good."

"Well, you can come by anytime. I've a studio at home where I store all of my art stuff." Dean realizes too late that he just asked this guy he met an hour ago to come to his house. "I mean, only if you want to, y'know, you don't have to or anything, but, um. Yeah." Dean stares down at the table. He would love for the earth to swallow him whole right this second. If he prays hard enough, maybe it'll happen.

"That sounds nice, Dean. I'd love to come by. Maybe tomorrow?" That has Dean's head jerking up, and sure enough, Cas isn't joking. He looks– excited.

That's how Dean ends up exchanging numbers with the most handsome stranger he's ever met.

On his way home, he can't stop thinking about Castiel. He's sarcastic, and witty, and his dry humor is perhaps the funniest Dean has ever heard. But he's also honest, almost blatantly so, in a way that made him feel like he could trust every word he said after having talked for no more than an hour. He's smart and a good listener, and he just has this enticing, electric blue eyes that follow Dean inside his thoughts all the way up to his small art studio.

For the first time in weeks, Dean feels light and relaxed. He takes off his coffee-stained shirt, and nearly thanks himself for being so clumsy. Turns out that was the best thing that could have ever happened.

Two days later, he has three full pieces in Mrs. Jones' classroom, all made out of coffee spills and a hint of one particular blue color that he hopes to see every day for the rest of his life.

[vaspider]

Hi! I just saw your post about now identifying solely as a lesbian instead of bisexual lesbian, and I wanted to say congrats! I know you don't necessarily need the validation of a nearly-25-year-old, but I'm still super proud of and excited for you.

You've changed what labels you use and feel comfortable with so many times, and I for one am super pleased on your behalf. Finding the right words is hard sometimes, and while I personally feel confident in my identity as I label it now, it's always good to see that it's 1000% okay to change it if we need to.

I know I'm kind of rambly right now but I'm pretty sure I got my point across and that's what matters. Happy for you!!

Thank you. :)

I feel like, for me personally, it’s important to talk about these things in a public fashion. I know a lot of younger queer or LGBTQIA+ folx are reading what I have to say, and it’s important to me that I affirm the idea that queer is an okay thing to be, that you will change or grow throughout your life, and that’s okay! It’s okay to not stick with the same definition of yourself that you had when you were 12, 15, 25, etc. There may be some parts of you that never change, and that’s good! You have a core self, and that’s great!

But some things about you can change. Maybe it’s because you grew and changed, and maybe it’s because you came to understand yourself better. Maybe you unpacked a lot of other people’s expectations for you and suddenly remembered that night when you were laying in bed at like, 12, whispering ‘I’m a lesbian’ to yourself and you look back to that 12-year-old you and say, “Actually, you know, you’re right. Thanks for telling us.” 

Just for random example. 

But like, I think we’ve done ourselves a disservice as a community because we were trying to guard against things like conversion therapy. The ‘born this way’ narrative makes sense as a defensive maneuver, because allocishet people as a group can be really harmful shitheads to us, and for some people, that narrative is exactly correct! But it’s also true that for some people, that’s not correct, they grew and changed and understood themselves better. 

It’s important that we acknowledge within our community that that’s okay, and that doesn’t make their identities less legitimate or conversion therapy less wrong! You can change and grow during your lifetime, learn about yourself and shape yourself, and maybe that means you’ll find yourself saying ‘wow, I’m not actually a binary trans woman, I’m non-binary! I have learned and reassessed my needs and now I know!’ or maybe you’ll be saying, ‘hunh, I guess pansexual is a better label for me these days’ or ‘my means of interacting with my sexuality has changed, and I think demisexual is a better fit for me now,’ or even ‘I’m going to invent a gender for myself because all of the extant gender terms no longer serve me.’ 

For me, I think it’s a little of column A and a little of column B. I’ve always liked girls better, and in HS started acting out real hard to cover that up, because I lived in a rural area, and if I was a slut, at least I wasn’t queer, and could survive until graduation. I genuinely loved a couple of guys, which has nothing to do with my actual desire and attraction mechanism, I just ... loved them because they were good people. (Sexuality and gender and love and sexual desire can be very complex and confusing and it doesn’t serve us to pretend they’re not.) But I’ll tell you what, realizing that every AMAB I’ve been attracted to since I broke up with Cat’s dad was an egg, and they invariably came out after I started crushin’ on em? Kinda blew the top of my head off, and I had to sit down and think really hard about what that meant for me as a person. 

Anyway, this ramble is long enough. TL;DR: community defensive maneuvers which present queerness/gayness/transness/etc. as immutable absolutes are good when it comes to saving lives and bad when it comes to maintaining healthy community and healthy people within that community. I’m a lesbian, and I think it’s important for me to speak openly about my path so that the younger people coming up behind me in community who feel like I feel can say ‘ah, I’m not alone! Spider feels that way too!’ 

[morimakesfanart]

Sindria's Prophet #16

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15]

[AO3]

~POV Sinbad~ Mori wasn't just a Prophet, she had immense knowledge of her own that was going to make Sindria untouchable. Sinbad was going to achieve his dream much sooner than he had ever imagined. Mori was special; intelligent, clever, capable, and she could read the waves of Fate. Was there any other woman as attractive? The unknown craving that had plagued him for the past week was placated. Delicious wine, beautiful women, delicious food -none of his normal pleasures had fulfilled whatever that feeling was, but for some reason this moment with the his Beautiful Prophet was. "And now you're *my* kind and generous King Sinbad, ... Right?" Mori's bashful confidence was always endearing, but hearing her call him 'my King' in person made something snap in him. They were in a corner and Mori is small; he could easily block view of her in case any of the magicians turned around. He wouldn't even have to lean that far to get a taste of her. "DO EITHER OF YOU Have an ounce of self awareness??” Ja'far popped the bubble that had formed around the two.

King Sinbad froze. Everyone in the room was watching them. Sinbad stood up straight. He shouldn't exactly continue his plans with an audience. He removed his hand from the window and crossed his arms. Yam was practically shaking the magician next to her. "I wasn't the only one to see it this time!” An older magician with a beard laughed and said something like 'to be young.' Another said something a long the lines of "So it's like that then." Ja'far was still grumbling about his King's behavior -he should know better by now, he promised he wouldn't, etc. but 1. Sinbad didn't do anything wrong, and 2. he said he knew what he was doing -he knew how to handle flirting with Mori; he never said anything about not flirting with her. "And you, Lady Prophet," Ja'far changed targets. 'Oh?' Sinbad didn't expect Mori to be reprimanded for his flirting -although, she did flirt back. Ja'far continued, "You said that you knew about Sin's habits so wouldn't fall for him or-" "AAAAAH" Yamuraiha yelled over the other General as she crossed the room as fast as she could, and clapped a hand over his mouth. She turned to the King and Prophet with wide eyes and a forced smile. "Your Majesty! Mori! Would you like to see the spell again with our new changes?!" She didn't let go of Ja'far. The group of magicians started supporting her suggestion with "Let us show you," "I'm sure we've got it this time," and reciting the changes to the formula. They were clearly trying to stop Ja'far from discouraging Mori. Sinbad had no idea why they suddenly decided to become his wingmen, but it was convenient for him since he planed to do more than flirt with her later. Mori walked up to the Generals, although she only addressed Yamuriaha. "Yes, please! Even if it's not perfect I'd like to see your progress!" She spoke with the same forced enthusiasm as Yam. Sinbad only got a glimpse before Mori's back was to him, but her face was definitely a brighter red than it had been a moment ago. She was getting better at flirting with him, but she couldn't hold her composure for long. The King laughed as the head magician practically body checked Ja'far out of her way and left him out of the group before they preformed the newly revised spell. This time it produced a mostly clear stone. It wasn't a high quality diamond, but they had done it. They would have to be careful with this though since it could lower the market value of whatever they make. As they figured out the specifics for every substance they needed, Sindria could become fully self sufficient -they would still deal in trade so as to not completely leave the rest of the world behind. It was amazing. His magicians were amazing for being able to figure this out in such a short time, and his Prophet was just as -if not even more- amazing for knowing all of this and being able to explain it to them. When the excitement around the magic spell died down they finally showed him the microscope. It was a prototype so they had to be gentle with it. Two pieces of glass with water squished between them were slid under and when Sinbad looked through the lenses he saw the strange small creatures that Mori had written about. Seeing them forced him to accept that what Mori wrote about 'germs' had to be true too -and those were even smaller than these things. Looking at those things squirming around and knowing they were everywhere made his skin crawl. The King stopped looking through the device. "They really are real." "Yup." Mori responded plainly. "And now that you all know and have proof. There's going to have to be a lot of changes. The way illnesses are handled is obvious, but there's going to have to be a lot more changes to how food and housing and things are handle to better maintain sanitary environments. I know a bunch of sanitation procedures so I can help there too." Ja'far was rubbing his temples. "This is going to be a logistical nightmare. Do you realize that we are going to have to fix all those things and get all Sindrians to understand without having it affect our production or

trade??" "It's not like we're doing this alone." Mori tried to comfort him. "We'll figure something out." The conversation moved to this new problem. His Beautiful Prophet really was something else. She had solutions to problems they didn't even know they had. Mori had a habit of using her hands whenever she talked -even more when she was excited. She was cute and deserved to know, but she was in the middle of helping his people so he would hold his tongue and just watch her. If Sinbad was honest, he had stopped listening to the conversation a while ago and was just looking for an opportunity to finally ask Mori -and Yam of course- if they would join him for dinner so he could get all of his Generals more aquatinted with her. Someone mentioned a specific scroll in one of the libraries. Before the whole group could drag Mori out of the room, King Sinbad raised a hand and got everyone's attention. "I know there's a lot to do, but I have some things to discuss with my Beautiful Prophet as well." Mori looked back at him. "What is it?” It seemed that nickname wasn't as affective as before -hopefully it was just the timing. "Is it something we can talk about here?” "I was thinking we could talk over dinner," Sinbad paused to see how she would respond to the implications. Mori's eyes widened and her shoulders tensed, and best of all that blush came back. "With all of my Generals, of course." Mori blushed harder realizing he was messing with her. Yam looked disappointed at first -his Generals cared way to much about him finding a wife- but then she looked content with being a part of the plan. "You might have met them, and know them from reading Fate but they still don't know you yet." He finished. Yam spoke first. "This is a great idea. Pisti was just telling me that she wanted to get to know Mori." Mori regained her composer. "I'd like to get to know everyone personally too, so I'm find with this." It was a roundabout way of saying 'yes.' Her blush was gone but she was still embarrassed. With that settled, Ja'far let Yam and Mori know when dinner would be ready. It was a little earlier than he normally ate but this would give them more time to mingle before they'd be completely out of sunlight. "Well then," the King turned to his Prophet, "since we have some time beforehand-" "OH no you don't!" Ja'far cut in. "You've already had a long enough break *and* you plan on ending early today? The least you can do is work your butt off until then." --- ~POV Mori~ The King was pushed out of the room by his right hand man. I had a mix of relief and longing watching him go. "You'll see his Majesty again soon." Yam had a sweet smile on her face, but I knew better than to trust it. All eyes were on me and they were no longer the eyes of academics; they were hungry for gossip. I was not ready to explain why shipping us was a bad idea. "So about that scroll you mentioned earlier..." I completely shifted conversation back to the eventual rebuilding effort and luckily one of them obliged me.

I was lead to one of the libraries and handed a few scrolls on the construction used in the country. I had read a little on ancient construction methods out of interest and some on modern methods since my uncle worked in the industry. I had a little bit of experience with construction when I worked at a community theater, but it wouldn't be anything the people here wouldn't know. That paired with these documents showing how magic was used in the process made what little I did know completely useless. 'Can't know everything I guess.' I turned my head up towards the ceiling. I wasn't sure how much time I had left and I decided to use it soaking up the ambience of the library. The smell of paper, the maze-esc layouts, the quiet feeling; it's like a gentle space separate from the rest of the world. The libraries of the Black Libra Tower also had huge windows to let in a ton of natural lighting. I was really going to enjoy working in this place. --- Yam and I ended up lost in conversation, so someone ended up being sent to bring us to the dinner. When we finally arrived and opened the doors to the dining hall my nose was filled with the smell of herbs and delicious food. This was my first meal that wasn't paired with bitter medicine. I might have been procrastinating subconsciously to avoid the medicine I was no longer taking. Everyone was already there chatting. The long table was covered with food, but I couldn't make out any of it from the door. King Sinbad was sitting at the head of the table at the other end of the room with a goblet in his hand. Yamuraiha started in ahead of me and called into the room. "I'm sorry we're so late! We were talking about magical proofs and," she rambled in her explanation. I heard a few comments of congrats for getting better and said "Thanks" reflexively more than consciously. As I got closer, I ignored the Generals at the table to look at the spread. There were a few different types of fish, meat of some kind, a bunch of vegetables, and bread. It brought tears to my eyes; It was so beautiful. The Imuchukk laughed at my obvious interest in the food. "What are you waiting for? There plenty for everyone." He was sitting closest to the door. I didn't look away from the food when I answered. "I'm small with a small stomach so I'm going to need to pace myself to be able to eat a little of everything. If I save the best for last like I normally do then I might not even get to eat it." That garnered laughs and comments. I ignored them; I was too busy weighing my options. As the guest of honor I was placed at the opposite end of the table from King Sinbad. Thank goodness, because I didn't think I could handle being super close to him all evening. Even with the direct line of sight, I had distance to protect me. Yam sat on the other side of Hina from me. Pisti was on my other side. Sharrkan was across from Yam. Spartos was between Yam and Ja'far. Drakon was across from Ja'far. And Masrur was between Drakon and Sharrkan.

I picked up my plate to get food. "Alright. I've decided to just grab my favorites. If I have room later then so be it!" I was used to being watched while I eat so their stares didn't bother me. I covered my plate in all of the types of fish and some vegetables. "I take it you like fish?" Sinbad asked while I was taking some of the fish that was on his end of the table. "It's my favorite!" I answered excitedly. I could tell as I placed the grilled fish on my plate that it was going to be heavenly. It was already flaking and letting the smell reach me faster. I couldn't wait to get back to my seat and took a bite of the fish. It melted in my mouth. I let out a squeak of approval as I grabbed another bite. After a moment Sinbad asked me another question. "What do you think of greasy foods?" It felt pointed. "I'll eat it if it's the only option, but I'm not a fan." The Generals made some comments that amounted to, "They have the same taste." I was too busy enjoying my food to think about what they were saying. Pisti asked me her own pointed question as I sat down. "Do you like alcohol?" They were comparing me to Sinbad. I suddenly remembered the Official Character Encyclopedia. According to it, Sinbad's favorite food was fish, his least favorite was greasy, and his favorite snacks were the types that paired well with alcohol. "I'm not a big drinker, but it's not like I dislike alcohol. I'm just allergic to sulfites." "Huh?" The group asked in unison. Time to explain one of my allergies again. "Sulfites are a very useful preservative so it was also added to a lot of foods back home including alcohol. All grape wines produce sulfites naturally. When I ingest about 2 shots of a drink that contains sulfites I will struggle to breathe for about an hour." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, the goblet of wine I didn't realize was in front of me was grabbed by Hinahoho. They all looked panicked at each other like they had just dodged a bullet. In an attempt to relieve the tension, Sinbad asked Yam to catch everyone up on the meeting from earlier. Yam started ranting about the progress we had made with the alchemy magic. While they focused on reclaiming the mood, I focused on the delicious food. I tried a root vegetable on my plate. It was a little earthy with a subtle sweetness. The seasoning added to the sweet, but also had a little spice similar to cracked pepper. It had been streamed so it wasn't crunchy. I was asked to repeated what I told Sin and Ja'far earlier about the tech of home, Their questions had me explain more about my world and many of the things I had done: volunteer work to get scholarships, marketing for some networking organizations and some other companies, an assistant and teacher in out of school programs for 6 years while also working at a theater to pay for my own education. I only mentioned some of the places I had traveled to. I didn't even get to the things I did as hobbies or in working toward my dream of being a full time writer&artist. "I'm surprised by how much you say you've done." Drakon commented. I had heard similar before when talking about my past. "Is it really that shocking? Considering my age, I think it makes sense for me to have done a bit." It's more shocking that I was doing all that while getting so sick from my chronic illnesses that I would be fully bedridden and need a machine to breathe at least once a year until I turned 15. But I had also ate up inspiration porn as a child as a motivation to not let my body hold me back if I could. "Aren't we around the same age?" Yam asked me in response. I laughed. "Do I look 23 to you?" I've been mistaken for much younger than I actually was for as long as I could remember. It 1st became a problem when I turned 18 and got told I was clearly 12 with a fake ID when trying to buy an M rate game (Devil May Cry btw). "You're not?” ”Nope.” I rested my elbows on the table, interlocked my fingers, and I placed my chin on top with a smile, "But I'm curious how old you all think I am now." At 25 I was mistaken for a 14

year old. At least, a few months back someone thought I was legal (they guessed 19). Most realized I had to be older the more they talked to me, but their impressions never fully dissipated. As frustrating as it was, I found amusement in times like this by turning my age into a guessing game. Sharkkan had the face of someone fearing they had hit on someone too young. "You are at least 20, right?” They all suddenly looked worried. "I'm definitely older than 20." I answered. Pisti laughed. She was also short with a baby face; she knew my struggle. "Maybe she's older than Ja'far!” Of course she would make the closest guess. "There's no way she's older than me." Ja'far scoffed. "I am older than 25 though.” I could have teased him but I held my tongue since he already seemed annoyed with me. "How old are you then?” Hina asked. "I'm 29.” I smiled at everyone's surprise. I might only have surface levels similarities to Sinbad, but when you're a simp for a fictional character does that really matter? "I was born on April 7th so I should only be 5 days younger than King Sinbad since he was born on the 2nd. However, I don't know if there's a time dilation between my world and this one. The day we met was Oct 3rd for me back home. It wasn't the same date here, was it?" Sinbad is 29, Ja'far is 25, and Masrur is 20 during the Balbadd arc; their 2nd set of ages are 30, 26, and 21 respectfully. Ja'far's birthday is Aug 30th and Masrur's is Dec 27. Those 2nd ages listed can't be for right after the 6 month time skip because no matter how you calculate it the shortest distance between those 3 birthdays is 8 months. I was really interested in how the current arbiter of this world was going to figure this out. "It was Oct 3rd here too." "Oh. Well, that's convenient," was what I said while my thoughts were cursing the arbiter. 'That lazy son of a bitch synced the worlds so they wouldn't have to deal with a time dilation. I can feel it. Hold on... I arrived on Oct 3rd; the coup was 4 days later on the 7th. 6 months later would mean Sinbad arrives back in Sindria on my birthday. Did some 'real me' somewhere plan a b-day present for myself in some self-indulgent fanfiction??' ((Yes. Yes, I did UwU & I plan on making Mori panic then too.)) King Sinbad had that smile on his face that told me he was ready to flirt. "I didn't realize we were so close in age." No colors got in my way when he talked. That was good. I was desensitized again, and wouldn't have to deal with unnecessary distractions. I couldn't tease Ja'far, but I could tease his Majesty. "I know, right? It's amazing what the difference of 5 days can do for one's complexion." Sinbad froze and his expression went blank. Something that was probably wine sprayed across the table as Sharkkan had a spit take before erupting into laughter with Hinahoho and Pisti. "Oh my" Yam murmured with a hand over her mouth. Drakon , Spartos, and Ja'far stared at me in disbelief. Sinbad still wasn't responding... Maybe teasing him about his age was a bad idea. So far, unless it was something important I flirted with Sinbad since that was the best way to get on his good side; hearing something like this from me must have hurt a bit extra. I had been so wrapped up in my thoughts that I forgot just how sensitive he was about his age. I ended up flailing my hands from nerves, and to get his attention. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that when I know how self conscious you are." He flinched. "I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but you won't look any older than you do now 5 years from now..." "I uh.. Is that so?" Sinbad asked as he started to regain himself. "It is. You'll be just as-” "If you're willing to talk about the future, does that mean you are finally ready to explain about those calamities you mentioned in Balbadd?" Ja'far cut in with a fierce look. He had been waiting for any mention of the future to bring this up. The King spoke with a gentle but stern tone. "I don't know if this is the time for that conversation. This is Mori's first meal with

everyone after all." "I'm fine. I made a promise and I intend to keep it. As long as everyone else is willing to talk seriously for a few mins, I don't see the problem." I had been avoiding this conversation for long enough. There were things I still planned to keep secret, but I couldn't avoid having this conversation forever. And besides, I could feel in the waves that Ja'far wasn't going to let this night end unless I explained some of it. ((I have the next 3 chapters written but it's going to take me a bit to draw all of illustrations & comics. Also, good luck to all the students reading this. I know classes are starting up again. Be safe out there.))