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btsgotjams27 · 1 year ago

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this is us ~ jjk | 17

it's been one year since the breakup, have jungkook and y/n been able to move on?

✨ title: this is us | ongoing series (sequel to all grown up) ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: m/18+ | minors dni ✨ genre/au: drama, romance, angst, fluff, smut | est!relationship, age gap ✨ playlist | AO3 & Wattpad ✨ a/n: if you haven’t read the prequel to this, please do so here! :) ✨ a/n 2: hi, everyone! i'm sorry this update took so long but a lot of y'all preferred a longer chapter and here it is! i opted out of one scene but may save it later for a drabble. let me know your thoughts, especially how you think jk & oc will meet again. 👀

[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] | next ✨ 18 ~ you're seeing things, aren't you?

chapter seventeen ~ one year later | wc: 8.8k warnings: pov switch, alex is back (but just for a bit and some of you may or may not like their convo), alcohol consumption, language, yoongi + oc bickering, yuna being yuna, baby indie is a big girl now T_T, jk has a new friend 👀, mama jeon is such a treat, some of our fav friends make an appearance, our jk + oc are both growing

~ one year after the breakup ~

Jungkook POV

The silver key struggled to fully unlatch the lock. Jungkook would remind himself whenever he needed to contact the landlord, but he could never remember until he unlocked the front door.

Summer in LA was warm and dry, but of course, with his luck, this was Jungkook’s first week of the summer without any air conditioning.

He shouldered the door, putting his body and weight into it. “Jeez,” he mumbled under his breath.

Not only was the door and air conditioning a mess but also his apartment. Clothes scattered everywhere, the stuffing from the sectional coming undone, it almost looked like someone partied too hard, but that wasn’t the case for Jungkook.

The sound of shuffling and grunting caused him to sprint toward his room, to find a tail wagging joyfully before him. Bam’s head was buried deep in Jungkook’s sock drawer, not giving a care in the world because he was looking for some kind of hidden treasure.

“I was wondering who was making all this noise.”

The six-month-old pup stopped digging and turned around. Just like his dad, he had big doe eyes that also held the stars in them. Hanging from Bam’s mouth was a white sock, clearly filled with something in it. Jungkook quickly took it from Bam’s mouth, stuffing it into the same place it was found. Bam sat and lowered his head.

“Aye–I really can’t leave you alone, can I? How'd you get out?”

Jungkook set his backpack down and sat in front of his big baby. He ruffled and scratched Bam’s floppy, brown ears before placing a kiss on his head.

“What are we gonna do when I have to leave you next week, hmm?”

Bam whined and then licked Jungkook’s cheek, making him lean back.

“What were you looking for?”

The Doberman backed up and returned to the drawer he found the sock in, his nose nipping at the loose knob.

“No. No. There’s nothing in there for you.”

Bam begins to paw at the drawer again, unrelenting in his pursuit of whatever was in that sock–so, he did find treasure. Jungkook decides to give up on Bam. No matter how many times he told him there was nothing in there for him, the stubborn pup would just keep going back to it.

“Bamie, should we go for a walk and get dinner?”

When he heard ‘walk,’ he whipped his head around, panting excitedly at his owner. Taking Bam on a walk was the best way to distract his four-legged friend.

If there was one thing Jungkook never took for granted, it was the beauty of a California sunset. The sky was painted with soft shades of peach and cotton candy pink, palm trees dispersed along the guided path, bicycle bells faintly dinging in the distance, and chatter and laughter filled the air.

The blood pumping through Jungkook’s veins was going into overdrive, as this was the second run of the day for him. He already ran before going to work. But doing this would tire him and Bam out, so they would knock out when returning home.

He called out to Bam before slowing down and coming to a complete stop. Although the summer nights in LA were cool, he was still getting used to the dry heat. His fringe was getting too long, falling and covering his eyes when he ran. He had been tempted for weeks to cut it, but Jimin suggested tying it up or getting a headband. There was no need to cut it dramatically if he liked his hair long.

“Sorry!”

A voice cried out, brushing by Jungkook and Bam, nearly knocking into them while on their rollerskates. Jungkook instinctively pulled Bam’s leash to the side, veering away from the congested pathway. He hadn’t realized how busy this time of night had become. He kneeled down, rubbing under Bam’s chin, turning him from side to side to see if he was okay.

“Bamie, are you okay?” His pup didn’t seem fazed as he licked Jungkook’s mouth. “Oh–” He scrunched his face from the wet saliva and dog breath. “Remind me to brush your teeth when we get home.” Jungkook chuckled and shook his head.

A buzz reverberated from Jungkook’s pocket. He pulled it out, answering the video call, while walking toward a bench to sit, and Bam obediently followed.

“How’s my baby?”

He could see the outline of a small human, and when the video cleared, the only thing in the frame was his niece, Indie's chubby cheeks and double chin.

“Wo-wo. Wo-wo.”

Jungkook raised an eyebrow, trying to decipher what Indie could be referring to.

“Wo-wo. Wo-wo.” She continued repeating the same phrase while sitting in Yuna’s lap, clambering her little chubby fingers at the screen, causing the phone to shake on their end.

“She wants to see Bam.”

“Oh–” Jungkook finally understood and panned the screen to Bam. If the two were to ever meet in person, they’d be inseparable, Jungkook thought.

Indie’s babbling persisted before the screen panned back to Yuna. “Who’s a big boy now?” she asked in a baby voice. Bam barked in response. “Yes, you–you’re a big boy.”

“You’re doing it again.”

“Sorry! It’s a bad habit. I’ll stop. Where are you, anyway?”

Jungkook switches the camera to the back, showing off the sunset he witnessed before switching it back to his face.

“It’s so pretty! We really need to come visit, or better yet. When are you coming back to visit?”

“I’m planning to come next week.”

“Oh, you are? Perfect!” Yuna stood and placed Indie on her hip while struggling to hold onto the phone simultaneously.

“Why?”

“Because it’s also Mom’s birthday, and she wants to have a big dinner with our family to celebrate.”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m coming back. For her and, well, to see my baby.” He didn’t know when it started, but he started to call his niece his baby since she was the only person he could call that now.

“Okay–cool. Are you gonna stay with us? Mom? Jin? Crash with Hyunie and Taehyung?”

All of those were viable options, but he knew if he stayed with his sister, there could be a chance he’d run into you, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that yet. Granted, it has been over a year, but the thought of seeing you after so long still made his stomach flutter. “I haven’t decided yet.”

“Yuna! I brought your cheesecake!”

Jungkook’s ears perked up, and he looked to Bam for comfort, who was scanning every person walking by. He instantly recognized that voice. He’d know it anywhere.

“You can put it in the fridge!” Yuna turned her attention back to her baby brother. “Just let us know, ‘kay?”

“Where’s my baby girl? Auntie missed you so much!”

Jungkook became flustered, scrambling to devise an excuse so he didn’t have to see you in the video call. “My phone’s gonna die. I’ll talk to you later, Noona!”

Click.

He leaned back on the concrete bench, with Bam turned to him, tilting his head at his owner’s curious change in demeanor. Seeing you in photos was enough for him, but to see you live and in action, with the possibility of you saying hi—he wasn't ready for that. Maybe he'd work up the courage someday, but today wasn't the day.

four days until Seoul.

It's not that he was dreading seeing his family. He was excited to celebrate his mom's birthday and to meet his niece in person. He dreaded the giant elephant in the room when he would be around everyone again. He'd put his money on Jin or Taehyung to say something to 'ease the tension,' but he shouldn't expect anything less because he did leave without proper goodbyes. It's been a year; they should be over it, right? They should've forgiven him by now.

A knock on his office door brought him back to reality. He looked up to see his ex and colleague, Alex.

The door creaked open, and Alex poked her head through. “Late night?” she asked, slowly opening the door wider, keeping her hand on the knob as she leaned against the frame.

“Yeah, just finishing up this presentation for tomorrow’s meeting. Everything has to be perfect before I leave.”

“Everything always has to be perfect for you, huh?”

“What do you mean?” He stopped clicking and clacking at his keyboard and looked up at Alex.

“I mean, we fucked around a lot in college, but I couldn’t not notice how you needed everything to be perfect. Your grades, attendance–for god’s sake, you fold your underwear.”

Hearing this from Alex was surprising. He didn’t think she paid attention to anything else but sleeping around.

Alex cleared her throat. “Anyway, can I talk to you?”

Jungkook gestured for her to take the seat facing his desk. You’d think this would be another ploy from Alex, considering this is how the mess with them started–Alex walking into his office and sitting in a chair. But since Jungkook started his new job in LA, it was like Alex was a completely different person. He could hardly recognize the person she was when she returned from her vacation. She was nicer and happier. It was like she did a complete 180. Jungkook was wary when she would come around his office, so he kept his distance and was civil in his interactions, along with keeping his head down in case anyone figured out anything happened between him and Alex.

“Can we talk about what happened when I was in Seoul?”

She did apologize somewhat, but Jungkook felt it wasn’t genuine at the moment. He thought he’d never see the day she would be sorry for her actions.

“What about it?”

It had been so long ago that he had accepted his mistake and moved on. He wasn’t sure why she needed to bring it up now. Maybe she was having a faith crisis and asking forgiveness from those she wronged. It did sting every time he saw her for the first few months at work, a constant reminder that he wasn’t with you, but it also garnered him to hold his ground and be a better man–to not give in so easily to his desires. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy working with Alex, his guard was always up, ready for anything that she’d throw his way, but like the wildcard that she is, she always surprised him.

“I'm not good at this ‘whole talking about my feelings thing,’ you know that. I, um, just thought I should apologize for how I've treated you throughout the time that we’ve known each other. I wasn't the best person when you knew me in college, I was going through a lot of my own shit, and you were kind of my outlet—well, sex was kind of my outlet, and then with the whole thing in Seoul. We talked about it, but I shouldn't have come onto you like I did. It was wrong of me to take advantage of you, and I’m sorry that I made you uncomfortable.”

Jungkook leaned back into his office chair, processing everything Alex said. He wasn’t sure what to make of it. He could easily be spiteful, blow her off, or forgive and accept her apology.

“What’s done is done. We can’t go back and change the past.”

Even if there was a time machine to go back and fix mistakes, Jungkook wouldn’t do it because it would’ve created an alternate timeline which could’ve led to the same outcome for you and him. Regardless of how things turned out between you and him, he knew you needed time apart to grow up and blossom independently without him.

His decision to move to LA was made out of a reckless, emotional place, but he acknowledged that and learned not to make such illogical decisions based on how he’s feeling at the moment. Maybe minus the unexpected choice of getting Bam on a whim, but that’s beside the point. Jungkook had learned from his mistakes and was trying to improve. He didn’t want to return to how things were and how he was.

“Yeah, I know, but I can still apologize for my past behavior and hope to change for the future.”

He took a moment before responding, “And are you changing? Or trying to, at least?”

That’s all one could hope for, right? Even with a person like Alex. Everyone deserves some kind of redemption and the right to move on and be happy. He wasn’t the kind of person to wish the worst on someone. It wasn’t in his DNA, no matter how hard he tried.

“I think so? I'd like to hope so.”

Alex’s phone buzzed, and she took a moment to answer, grinning from ear to ear. Jungkook had never seen her smile like that–it was authentic, filled with joy. She returned her attention back to Jungkook, holding her phone out, which illuminated the home screen. He couldn’t help but glance at her wallpaper, a photo of her hugging someone. He had heard rumors going around the office, but he wasn’t someone who cared for gossip. It was her life, and she could do what she wanted. It was none of his business.

“Okay, then, I guess that’s all I can really ask for.”

“That's one thing I always liked about you.”

“What?”

“How after all the many things I put you through, you’re always so forgiving. I bet the people in your life don’t deserve you, huh?”

Jungkook stopped to think about it. Was he always so easy to forgive and forget? Maybe that was his problem. “Probably not, but—” he shrugged. “Anything else you need to get off your chest?”

She shifted in her chair. “Why’d you do it?”

“Do what?”

Alex bit the inside of her cheek before speaking, “Give into me.”

Jungkook wasn’t expecting to go there with Alex, but since she brought it up, the question lingered night and day for a long time, and ultimately, he concluded that he did it out of fear. He wasn’t scared of Alex; he was scared of not being enough for you because you didn’t share yourself with him, and he resorted to a place of familiarity. It’s no excuse, and he knows that, but it wasn’t something he could change now.

He cleared his throat. “I was insecure at that time in my relationship. I didn’t think I was good enough for her.”

Alex nervously rubbed the back of her neck. “Got it. I, um, you don’t have to explain any further.”

Jungkook lightly tapped on his desk, unconsciously swiveling from side to side in his chair. His lips thinned, waiting to see what else she needed from him.

“There’s one last thing. It looks like you’ll need to pack up your office because you’ll be getting mine.”

“Oh? Why?”

“I'm leaving, Jungkook. I got a new job. Guess you won’t be seeing me anymore.”

He was tempted to ask what was next for her, but he bit his tongue. Whatever she had going for her must’ve been a good offer if she were to leave her current position. Alex always knew what she wanted and went after it; to some degree, Jungkook admired that.

Alex stood, making her way out of Jungkook’s office. Before heading out the door, she stopped to ask one more thing, “What happened with you and your girlfriend?”

“You mean the one that slapped the shit out of you?” He tightened his lips and tried hard to suppress the smile creeping up. He was still proud of you for that. “We broke up. I wouldn’t be here if we were still together.”

She nervously tapped on the door frame, avoiding his gaze. “I’m sorry about that. I do hope you guys find your way back to each other. You seemed to have loved her very much.”

Jungkook acknowledged her comment with a nod and a low hum. He had dreamt about that happening so many times, but it’s been over a year since the two of you had broken up. So he gave up on you coming back to him a long time ago. It was a silly dream that he needed to let go of–the one thing to really set him free.

“Good luck with everything.”

“Thanks, Jungkook. You too.”

Friday nights wouldn’t be complete without Korean fried chicken and cold beer. It was Jimin’s turn to buy, and Jungkook told him to go all out before leaving on his trip. He wanted his belly full of yummy food.

“Where’s Lana?” Jungkook asked before taking a huge bite out of the crispy chicken drumstick.

Jimin chewed as fast as he could before answering, “She’s out with her friends at a bachelorette party.”

“I guess it’s that time when everyone we know is getting engaged or married, right?” Jungkook set his drumstick on the plate before him, and he looked over at Bam, who was patiently waiting for any scrap of food from his owner. He made a face at his four-legged friend, who whined as he lay beside Jungkook.

“It’ll be my turn soon.” Jimin dug in his back pocket, struggling to take out his phone. He unlocked the screen, then scrolled through his photos, handing his phone to Jungkook.

“No way! You’re gonna propose soon?”

Jimin grinned, taking the phone from Jungkook to stare at the ring he had chosen. “Yup! I have it all figured out.”

“Congrats, man. That’s exciting.”

“Thanks! Let’s pray she doesn’t turn me down,” Jimin jokes, sipping his beer. “What about you? What’s new?”

“Alex is leaving.”

“Whoa–the bitch is finally leaving us for good,” Jungkook deadpanned. “What? Am I wrong?” he asked dryly, raising his eyebrow.

Jimin only knew of the ‘Alex’ in college, not the one where she had actually grown up. Jungkook couldn’t help but witness the miracle unraveling before his eyes at work–it was hard to avoid.

“I think she’s changed.”

“Oh! Don’t tell me you’re standing up for her!” Jimin blinked a few times at his naive friend.

“I’m not–”

He wasn’t. He was merely acknowledging the growth he had seen. He couldn’t deny it, even if his friend didn’t believe him. Who would’ve thought that Jungkook would live to see the day someone like Alex could actually change? That was the beauty of knowing someone over a period of time, right? Seeing them go through different stages of their lives, becoming better or worse, in this case, Jungkook had witnessed the miracle of Alex becoming a decent human being.

“She ruined your relationship–”

“I know…” Jungkook said, “But I think she’s really different now.”

Jimin set his beer down and interlaced his fingers, waiting for his friend’s explanation. “Please, Jungkook. Enlighten me.”

“She’s moving to Switzerland,” he paused, “With her girlfriend.” Jungkook tilted his head, ready for Jimin’s reaction to the news. It also took Jungkook a second to process and rethink everything he had with Alex.

Jimin’s eyes widened as he covered his mouth. “Shit–” Jungkook kicked him under the table. “What? I mean, good for her! Who would’ve thought that Alex was into girls? Man, that really threw me in for a loop.” He leaned against the sofa’s cushion. “Well, I guess she’s not gonna be a problem anymore.”

Jungkook let out a rueful chuckle. If only things had turned out differently for you and him. Where would the two of you be now?

“So, are you excited about going back to Seoul?” Jimin couldn’t help but wiggle his eyebrows. Jungkook knew what he was referring to.

“I’m just visiting; besides, I've moved on.” It was something he needed to convince himself of on a daily basis, but it was easier said than done.

“Uh-huh, sure. Is that why you still keep that thing hidden in your sock drawer?”

Jungkook opened his mouth, but nothing came out; then, he looked at the culprit sitting beside him. And which thing was Jimin referring to? The small box? The photo album? “How do you know about that?”

Jimin leaned over to pat Bam’s bottom. “This big guy knows all your secrets. Don’t you, Bamie?”

Jungkook rolled his eyes, scratching the back of Bam’s ears. “You guys better not go digging through my things while I’m gone,” he threatened with a stare. He definitely didn’t want Jimin coming across your boudoir album. He had kept that baby safe–at least, he hoped he did. Maybe he should move it again or put it in a safe deposit box or something; imagine it getting into the wrong hands.

“Hey man, it’s not gonna be me.” He leaned over to Jungkook and glanced at Bam. “It’ll be this guy,” Jimin added while covering his mouth and pointing to Bam.

Bam is a smart aleck; he knows when others are talking about him. He stood and walked over to Jimin to lay his head in Jimin’s lap.

Jimin leaned down, ruffling Bam’s ears. “Don’t worry, Bamie. I won’t tell Jungkookie what we find.”

Jungkook shook his head at the two schemers. He had meant to get rid of what was hidden in his sock drawer. He just hadn’t had time to do so.

back home in seoul

Jungkook found it odd how quiet Namjoon and Yuna’s place was. He thought it would be booming with laughter and chatter, granted he came home to celebrate his mom’s birthday.

“Ma! Noona! Hyung! Is anyone home?” Jungkook nearly tripped over the small step in the entryway as he took off his shoes. “What the hell? I thought they said they’d be here.” Unless they changed the location last minute and forgot to tell him.

He set his suitcase down; the lights illuminated the hallway as he walked toward the living room.

“Surprise!”

The rest of the lights in the house turned on as Jungkook clutched his chest with one hand and leaned against the wall with the other.

“What the fuck!” Jungkook shook his head and let out a sigh of relief as he walked over to everyone.

“Yah–Is that how you greet your friends and family?” Jin strolled to the young man, ruffling Jungkook’s long hair.

“You know how much I hate surprise parties.”

“We couldn’t help it. We had to,” Yuna interjects, walking from a room with Indie on her hip. Indie squirms her way out of her mom’s arms, insisting on walking instead of being held. Yuna strode over to Jungkook, giving him a hug. “It’s good to see you, little brother.” She pulled away, taking a good look at him, her thumb gently caressing his cheek.

Indie ran over to Jungkook, pulling on his pant leg. She looked up with her big, curious eyes, her hair in cute little pigtails. “Wo-wo. Wo-wo.”

Jungkook knelt down to her level, squeezing her sides. “Sorry baby girl, wo-wo is back home.”

Indie is obviously uninterested when she learns her favorite pup is not with him, so she runs off, screaming around the living room.

Namjoon greets Jungkook with a hug. “My brother–you look good,” he paused to touch the ends of Jungkook’s hair, “It’s getting so long.”

“I don’t like it,” Yuna adds, “You look like Frodo Baggins.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes. His sister was always opinionated, and didn’t expect any less from her. He tried something different today; it was too curly for his liking, so he tied it half-up, half-down.

Namjoon glared at his wife before returning to Jungkook. “It looks great, man.”

Jin walked up behind Jungkook. "Sorry to break up the love fest but I just wanted to pop in and say hi. I'll see you later?"

Jungkook nodded and said goodbye.

The sliding door to the backyard opened, and in walked Jungkook’s mom. “Ah–there’s my baby boy!” She sprinted over with open arms, cupped his cheeks before pulling him in for an embrace, then withdrew to get a good look at him, and that’s when she playfully smacked his arm. “That’s what you get for leaving without saying goodbye to your mother!”

“Ow–” Jungkook rubbed the spot she hit. “Ma–you’re still mad about that?”

She scowled at her son and muttered indistinct words under her breath as she walked into the kitchen.

Jungkook turned to Yuna. “Is Mom really still mad at me?”

Yuna shrugged. “It’s like college all over again. You never call. You never visit.”

“You know why I can’t.”

“Why can’t you guys just be grown-ass adults and be okay with being in the same room as one another? It’s not that hard.”

It was easy for Yuna to say. She wasn’t in an intimate relationship with you; she didn’t break your heart, and she didn’t run away because she couldn’t deal with all of this.

Jungkook’s eyes followed his sister as she walked into the kitchen, helping their mom prepare a dish. He hesitated to ask but mustered up the courage. “Is that why she’s not here?”

“She would be, but she’s in Phuket. She’s using Yoongi’s vacation home.”

“Oh.”

“I mean, she needs it. It's been a rough year for her.”

His mom doesn’t say anything. She peered at her son, wanting to tell him all the things you’ve been going through with your own mom, but it wasn’t her place to say anything. She looked away, going back to her previous task.

He could see the disappointment in his mother’s eyes; he had seen it before. A part of him wished he could be a part of your healing, but you’d blossom more without him.

Jungkook nervously tapped the counter. “Is Yoongi her boyfriend or something?” he asked as nonchalantly as possible.

“No, they’re just friends,” Yuna responded curtly.

Indie came running into the kitchen, dragging her blanket behind her. She wandered to the living room, and her eyes lit up when she spotted something in the entryway. She shuffled her little feet and dropped her blanket on the ground before grabbing the stuffed bunny, which was just as big as her.

Yuna chuckled. “I’m guessing that’s for Indie?”

The curves of Jungkook’s mouth curved up. “Yeah–you said she loved stuffies, so I found the biggest one when I arrived.”

Indie babbled and trotted along to her Uncle Jungkook, pulling the bunny by its ear. He picked her up along with the bunny.

“My baby, Indie, is so big now.” She wriggled out his arms and ran off with the stuffed animal.

“Gosh–I’ve missed so much. Next thing I know, she’s going off to college.”

“You could move back, you know, and not miss any of this,” Yuna suggested.

Jungkook had thought about this every time he hung up with Indie. He had always wished to be the type of uncle who would be there for his nieces and nephews and hoped he would one day be able to do so.

“Hey, Ma. I’m gonna head out.”

“You’re leaving me already?” She teased as she stood to hug him.

Jungkook chuckled. “You know I can never leave you, right?”

She cupped Jungkook’s face, looking into his big, brown, doe eyes. She didn’t say anything. She wanted to take everything in–seeing the little boy she raised to become a good man who loved so deeply and passionately, just like his father.

“Are you going to let go or make me stay here all night?”

The corners of her mouth curved into a closed-lipped smile. “Don’t hurt her again, ‘mkay?”

Again? Hurt who? Hurt you?

He could only assume she was talking about you. There was a slim chance he knew he could run into you, but he wasn’t counting on it. Even if he could muster up the courage to start a conversation, he was too scared to go there, too scared to hear you tell him off again, to tell him there would be no chance you’d give him your relationship another try. He wouldn’t risk it.

Jungkook mirrored his mother’s smile, pulling her in for another embrace. Her frame felt smaller, or maybe he was just getting bigger.

She patted his back, withdrawing from him and looking at him once more. “It was good to see you, sweetheart. Don’t be a stranger and call me sometime, hmm?”

The dinner to celebrate his mom was quiet and low-key, and for that, Jungkook was thankful. He didn’t want a big spectacle of returning to town and dealing with distant relatives questioning his life. As much as he loved his family, he was already itching to leave the second dinner came to an end.

The taxi pulled up to a familiar location, one that brought too many memories of good times with you. But Jungkook wanted to stay with the person that was less likely to question him.

“It’s good to see you, man,” Jin sipped his beer. “I've missed having you in the office, but I hear you’re doing big things out there.”

Jungkook stared at the beer glass in front of him before looking at Jin, “I'm just trying my best. I wish I could come back.”

“You can!” Jungkook glared at him. “I’m joking. I'm joking, but seriously, are you doing okay out there?”

He was good. It was better than expected–being busy with work helped get his mind off many things, being near the beach calmed his nerves, and having Bam has been a huge comfort.

“It was hard at first, but now I'm getting into a steady rhythm with work and everything. I do miss everyone.”

“Come back when you’re ready, man.” Jin rubbed his shoulder, staring at his friend. “She's good, by the way. She’s doing a lot better than she was a year ago.”

Jungkook chuckled. It seemed as though everyone could recognize the big elephant in the room, semi-acknowledge it but didn’t delve further–maybe out of respect for you and him. It’s not that he didn’t want to talk about you or what happened, but he felt it would be better not to explore the ‘what ifs’ and ‘what could’ve been.’ It was more so for his sake, so he wouldn’t be disappointed and maybe move past it.

OC POV

You had been staring wide-eyed at your phone for far too long. Texts and photos were already deleted; the last thing you needed to do was delete Jungkook’s phone number. It’s not like you have called it or anything since you left that voicemail for him. The contact for him had just been there in case he ever drunk-dialed you, which he never did. But your therapist suggested maybe it was time to stop holding onto the last thing you felt was keeping you tied to him.

The button was right there.

Delete–to remove, to get rid of, to erase.

It was simple. You just needed to move your finger and hit the six-letter word. But instead, you chickened out and hit the call icon instead.

You brought the phone to your ear, “The number you dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service.”

Of course, it was no longer in service. It was stupid of you to think he'd still have the same number. He lives in California now, so getting rid of his Seoul number would make sense.

Maybe this was your sign to delete it, finally. There was nothing to hold on to anymore. It’s not like you were expecting to get back together with him or anything.

But the contact still read: Boyfie.

You hadn't changed the name on his contact, and it still read what he was last to you.

Your shaky index finger moved closer to the three dots on his contact. His number was no longer in service; there was no need to keep it. How silly of you to be so scared just to do it, but you needed to let go and move on.

Taking a deep breath, you hit delete, and then the pop-up read: This contact will be removed from all your synced devices.

Cancel or Move to Trash.

Your finger hovered over the two options before hitting 'Move to Trash.' But there was one last thing to do. You went to your phone's trash and clicked 'Empty Trash Now.' If you didn't do this part, then his number would just stay there for another 30 days, and what would that exactly do for you?

Delete forever? - This can't be undone.

Cancel or delete forever?

Trash empty. 1 contact deleted forever.

You thought this moment would bring you relief, but it didn't. There was a twinge of sadness like your therapist had told you would happen. Getting over someone wouldn't happen overnight or in a millisecond; it would take time. Every day, you chipped away another piece of Jungkook–the more you chipped, the easier it became.

No more texts. No more photos. No more Jungkook.

You sported a lopsided grin–you were proud of yourself. Getting here had taken a long time, but you finally did it.

A knock on your door broke you out of your dazed state. You forgot Yuna was stopping by. Quickly, you ran to the door, opening it for her.

“I can’t believe I forgot your keycode,” she said, handing you a tote bag.

“Oh my god, Yuna. What the hell is in here? And why is it so heavy?” You struggled to lift the bag but did your best, bringing it to your kitchen counter.

“You know my mom loves to set you up with all her banchan. She doesn’t want you to starve.” Yuna put the other tote in her hand on the counter next to yours.

“I don’t think I’ll be starving for the next few months,” you joked, opening up your fridge. “Besides, I don’t know why she packed so much. I’ll be leaving soon for my trip.”

“Oh–right! That means you’ll have to eat it before you go.”

“How can I possibly finish all this?” You stared at the six stacks of Tupperware that filled your fridge. How was one person supposed to finish this? Maybe you could hand some off to Yoongi. He definitely ate take-out way too often.

“Take it to Hyunie and Taehyung’s. I’m sure they’ll appreciate it,” she suggested as she took out three more dishes from her tote.

Your eyes widened, and you shook your head, waving your hands. “No, no. Yuna–you have to take those back. I don’t want to waste anything your mom makes.”

“She loves you, you know. That’s why she made me bring all these.” Your lips thinned, taking the rest of the items from Yuna. “She’s sad you can’t come to her birthday dinner.”

“I want to be there, but I’ve planned this trip for a few months now.” You have never missed their mother's birthday dinners for the many years you’ve known Yuna. This one would be your first.

“I know. I know,” she trailed off, folding the tote before her. “I swear sometimes she likes you more than she likes me.”

You chuckled and looked at your best friend. It’s funny how you always thought the same about your mother and Yuna. Oh, how the tables have turned.

“Hold on–I have her birthday present.”

You strolled toward the hallway closet, pulling out a pastel pink bag.

“What’d you get her?” Yuna asked, peering through the white tissue paper to look inside.

“She’d been talking about this handmade tea set for the last few months, so I finally managed to get my hands on one for her.” It was made of the most beautiful marbled ceramic with rose gold painted throughout the tea set. You weren’t going to lie; you wanted one for yourself even though you didn’t drink tea.

“Wow–you really would’ve made the perfect daughter-in-law.” You deadpanned. “What? I’m just stating the obvious.” Yuna stood, strolling to your living room.

“Anyway, give that to her for me, okay? And tell her I’ll bring back a souvenir from Phuket.”

Yuna slumps on your couch. “Can you pack me in your luggage? I wanna go lounge around on the beach and do nothing.”

“I’m sure Yoongi would be more than happy to let you guys use his place next time, or we could all make a trip out of it.” You were grateful for Yoongi being so generous with his vacation home. This solo trip is very much needed.

“Hmm, maybe once Indie is older, we can all go.” You nodded, taking a seat beside Yuna. She turns to you, patting your thigh. “I’m proud of you.”

You scoffed. “What’s there to be proud of?”

“Don’t sell yourself short. I know I’ve been hard on you these last few months, and you know I’m only doing it because I love you and want what’s best for you.”

Everyone always needs someone to keep them down-to-earth and sincere, and Yuna was yours. After all these years, she’s stuck by you through thick and thin.

“I secretly think you love getting on my case.”

“Someone has to tell you what’s up!” Yuna sneered, crossing her arms.

You turned to her, pulling her in for an embrace. “And I’m so glad you’re my person.” You kissed her temple as she withdrew from your hug, annoyed by your sarcasm. “No, seriously. I can only imagine how hard it was being stuck in the middle between Jungkook and me. So, thanks for sticking it out with me.”

“You’re my best friend. I’d do anything for you. I’d fight for you before I would for Jungkook,” she half-joked. “Kidding. I love you both, and I’m glad to see you doing better, and this trip will only help with that.”

“It’s been so long since I’ve done anything for myself. It’ll be a nice little retreat for me.”

“What are you doing while you’re there?”

“I’m not sure yet. Swim, eat, explore, maybe write a little.”

“That sounds heavenly. I’m jealous.”

“You can come with me next time.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“I want you to imagine yourself as a little girl. What age are you?”

With your eyes closed, you try to imagine yourself as a little girl. You only see the back of her, and she’s in a floral dress. “She’s about 7 or 8.”

“Can you describe your surroundings?”

“It’s quite dark, and I can’t see where she is. But it could be an open field?”

“Okay, that’s a good start. Now, I want you to go up to her and see what happens.”

You do as your therapist says, walking up to this imaginary version of you. You hesitate as you stand behind her to gather the right words. The imaginary version of you begins to whimper and cry. Immediately, you walked around to her and knelt, getting on her level. The little girl looks down at you, wiping away her tears.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, holding her hands in yours.

“I’m scared.” Her eyes were glassy, with tears threatening to fall.

“What are you scared of?”

“That no one loves me.”

A faint mumble of your name could be heard, calling you back from this short exercise. You opened your eyes, and like the imaginary version of you, your eyes were glassy with tears building up.

“What did the two of you talk about?”

You hated these exercises your therapist made you do. You always ended up in tears and coming to the same conclusion, except you’d talk to yourself at different stages in your life. Though this one was the first time you’d spoken to your younger self, and this one was tougher because she was so young and childlike and hadn’t done anything wrong in her life.

“The same thing we always talk about.”

“And what is that?”

She knew what it was, you’d been doing this over the past few months, but she always made you verbalize it.

“That no one loves me.”

“And do you believe that’s true?”

Your mind automatically said yes, though, in your heart, you knew it wasn’t. You looked at your hands, interlaced on your lap, as your thumbs twiddled back and forth.

She called your name again, waiting for your answer.

You straighten your posture and look directly into her eyes. “No, it’s not true.”

“And how do you know it’s not true? Who are the people in your life that love you?”

“Yuna, Hyunie, Namjoon, and maybe Taehyung,” you chuckled. The two of you loved to squabble and disagree on many things. It’s not that you didn’t like him or anything; you adored him. He was just a very hard person to read, and sometimes you sensed you bugged him.

“I’d say that’s a pretty good list.”

The corners of your mouth curved up. “They’re good people. I’m lucky to have them in my life.”

“So, our session for today is coming to an end. There is one thing I’d like you to focus on while we’re on a small break.” You nod, leaning forward to give her your full attention. “Have fun.”

You’re taken aback for a moment. You thought she’d have something insightful and profound to say before you went on your trip, but it was as simple as possible.

“That’s it?”

She chuckled. “Yes–that’s it. You’ve put in the hard work, and you’re growing, even if you may not see it right away. So, go have some fun, and I’ll see you when you return.”

Flying has never been your strong suit, and then to add on, doing everything solo sent your anxiety through the roof. Your research for this trip could be put into a how-to guidebook at this point.

When you arrived at Yoongi’s vacation home, you were expecting something dark and cold like his apartment in Seoul, but it was the exact opposite–warm and welcoming.

The view from the balcony was impressive, to say the least, the backdrop was the lush, green jungle, and you were only fifteen minutes away from the beach. Although you had a few things planned, you weren’t in a rush to check off your list. You wanted to take your time and really soak everything in. After all, this trip was meant to be relaxing.

Three days into your trip and you were already bored out of your mind. As an overachiever, you crossed off two-thirds of your list. You went to the night market, visited a few temples, fed the elephants, and even went to the island where they filmed James Bond.

You realized that you liked having time to yourself, but you wanted to enjoy these experiences with other people–specifically those you loved. The thought even crossed your mind to cut the trip short and make it back in time for Yuna’s mother’s birthday dinner, but you knew Yuna would just scold you for returning so early.

Guess you’d be stuck here, but maybe you should try to make the best of it. It’s not often you’re in a tropical setting by yourself.

You opted for a luxury resort spa on Naka Island for the next few days. Your bank account would hate you, but you’d worry about that later when you got back to Seoul. There was no need to stress about it now.

The only noises that left your mouth were moans and groans–from the knots the masseuse managed to draw out from you. You wished it was from something else, but you promised yourself you wouldn’t rush into anything with anyone. You didn’t want to repeat the past because that’s how you got into trouble. If the right person came along, then you’d take your time. There was absolutely no rush.

The warmth from the sun had felt wonderful on your skin as you sat beneath the beach umbrella. The calming sounds from the ocean helped relax your body after the intense massage. You rolled your shoulder back, groaning in pain as you stretched.

You told yourself if inspiration struck, then you’d write, but other than that, you wanted to disconnect from your phone and the rest of the world.

Daily naps on the beach became your go-to, along with a Sabai Sabai, a Thai cocktail you’d grown fond of. And with being disconnected from the world, you had nothing better to do than listen to strangers’ conversations which sparked an idea that bloomed into the script you began writing.

The premise? A rival-to-lovers, where two CEOs have to work together to take down the company that wants to destroy both of theirs while being stuck on an island. You had to include an island setting. It only made sense after all. It had become your source of inspiration.

Your mini-getaway to Naka Island was a smart choice. You came back to Yoongi’s place with nearly thirty pages of the start of a new script–a proud feat, to say the least. So you’d spent the last day getting ready to return to Seoul.

You snuggled into the king-sized bed, taking advantage of the spectacular view and adding a few more pages. The apricot and peachy hues of the sunset painted the sky, and you stayed focused on the scene until dusk had taken over. With your laptop being the only light source, you closed it and set it to the side. This bed was too comfortable for your own good.

It was nearly two in the morning when you heard a noise coming from the living room. You were sure you had locked the door, but maybe one of the stray cats you saw around the neighborhood had entered the house.

With sleepy eyes, you rolled out of bed, scanning the room to see what you could take to protect yourself. The only thing you still had out was your hair straightener, so it would have to do for now.

You shuffled into the living room with your straightener in your hand and flipped on the light. “What the fuck! Why didn’t you call me to say you were coming? I could've killed you.” You were right; it was a stray cat.

“With what? Your hair straightener?” Yoongi blinked, scanning you up and down. “Nice jammies, by the way. Were you expecting company or something?”

You used your robe to cover yourself, crossing your arms and scowling at the man before you. “Shut up.”

“Sorry, I tried getting in touch, but you never responded. So I had to come to make sure someone didn’t murder you. You know, since you have some weird obsession with that happening to you.”

“Oh—I’m sure you’ll smother me in my sleep tonight.”

“Well, just don’t tell me your dreams never come true.”

You rolled your eyes. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“I’m meeting with my location manager to scout some spots tomorrow.”

“Don’t tell me you’re going to the James Bond Island.”

Yoongi tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. “How’d you know?”

“I took a wild guess.” You watched him set his things down. “Well, I’ll be out of your hair soon. I can move my things so you can sleep in the master bedroom.”

“No, no.” He waved his hands. “It’s fine. I’ll take the spare.”

“Yoongi, it’s your place. I don’t mind.” You walk off toward the bedroom, determined to make sure he takes the master bedroom.

“Are you always this stubborn?” Yoongi asked, following after you.

You turn to him with a smile. “Yes.”

“You’re not gonna give up until I sleep in this bed tonight, huh?”

“Nope.”

After the early morning intrusion, Yoongi wanted to apologize by treating you to coffee before you had to leave. The freshly made Patongo donuts were sweet and fluffy, perfect for your Thai iced coffee, and the view from the cafe was gorgeous. It was a great day to lounge outside.

“So, how’s everything going?” Yoongi asked, taking a bite of his donut as he slouched in his seat.

“It’s fine.” Yoongi gave you an expressionless face. “I mean, it’s going well. It’s been wonderful. It’s so nice; I might just retire here,” you teased.

“You’re gonna be an old lady with your twenty cats.” The two of you witness a stray cat walk by.

You sneered at Yoongi. “That was a weird coincidence, and I’m not really a cat kinda gal.”

Yoongi chuckled. “Well, I’m glad you’re doing well. It’s nice to see you happy.”

You put your hand over your chest in exaggeration. “Did Min Yoongi just give me a compliment? Today must be my lucky day.”

“And that’s all you’ll get from me, you hear!” He smiled and shook his head. “No, but seriously. Your energy—it’s different.”

You didn’t want to continue quarreling with him. Instead, you nodded in agreement. This past year was painful and full of heartache, but then it started to look up—with more smiles, laughter, and tears of joy. Your hope was it would continue like this. After all, you deserved it.

You stuffed your things into the back of Yuna’s car before taking a seat on the passenger side, and to your surprise, you heard baby Indie babbling behind you. The only thing you could see popping above her head was a giant stuffed bunny.

“That’s cute. Did you buy it for Indie?” You asked as Yuna drove away from the airport.

Yuna quickly glanced in the rearview before looking at you, hesitating to answer. “Jungkook bought it.”

“Oh.” He must’ve ordered it or something, right?

“He came to visit while you were gone,” she admitted while her eyes were focused on the road. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know if you’d try to sabotage your trip and come back early.”

She was right. You would’ve been tempted to devise an excuse, but you really had no reason to. “Well, I wish you would’ve told me so I could make my own decision instead of you making it for me.”

“I know. I’m sorry. You’ve been doing so well with moving on and therapy–I just didn’t want you to regress.”

You understood where her heart was, but still, you were a big girl. You didn’t need her to mother you.

“Wo-wo. Wo-wo,” Indie continued repeating the phrase before throwing her bunny to the side and clapping at her accomplishment.

The car came to a stop, and Yuna looked over. “Do you forgive me?”

You rolled your eyes. “I guess, but can you let me make my own choices next time?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Yuna smiled, pausing to see Indie’s hands playing with her shoe from the rearview. “So, how was Phuket?”

“It was great until Yoongi showed up.”

“Yoongi showed up?” Yuna questioned, her tone going up an octave.

“Yeah–for like a split second. He caught me on the last day of my trip.”

“Oh,” Yuna’s comment lingered, indicating something else was happening. “And there’s nothing going on between you two?”

You shook your head. “No,” you said curtly, “I didn’t sleep with him if that’s what you’re asking.” Why did something always have to happen between a man and a woman? Could they simply not be friends? Was there always something more?

“Okay, I’m just curious, that’s all.”

“We’re just friends. Nothing more.”

“Okay, okay. Message received–loud and clear.” She tapped on the steering wheel. “So, when are you guys getting married?”

“I–you’re lucky we’re in the car!”

“Shh–Indie is trying to nap, so I brought her.”

You scoffed at your best friend; she wouldn’t let this go so easily, was she?

Coming back home felt torturous. You had nothing lined up in terms of work. The only thing you had going was the script you had started in Phuket. You guessed you could work on that for the time being.

But–you were stuck. Writer’s block came in like a wrecking ball. Maybe you should’ve stayed in Phuket longer. Yoongi even offered to have you accompany him to scout some places, but you didn’t want to overstay your welcome. He had already provided so much in terms of his vacation home.

A notification from your phone went off. You pick it up to see a text message from your agent.

Jae 9:27 AM How much do you love me?

You 9:28 AM You know you’re my favorite person in the world.

Jae 9:29 AM Now I know that’s a complete lie. Anyway! I have a big opportunity for you. Are you free for lunch today?

“Jae, can you just say what you want to say? I’ve been sitting here listening to you ramble about your pet hedgehog.”

Jae blinked profusely as his lips thinned. “Okay, fine. Netflix wants to partner with you,” he finally spits out while you choke on your water.

You cover your mouth as you cough and clear your throat. “I’m sorry, what?”

“They really loved your show with Kenji and want you to come to their headquarters to discuss potential positions they could see you in.”

Your eyes narrowed. “You’re joking, right?”

He pointed to his face. “Does it look like I’m joking?”

You sighed, looking around the table and then back at Jae. “I don’t know what to say.”

Jae put down his fork. “Say you’ll take the meeting.”

“Is it here in Seoul?”

He shook his head. “It’s in LA.”

✨ next ~ 18 ~ you're seeing things, aren't you?

#fic: this is us #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fic #jungkook angst #jungkook romance #jungkook drama #jungkook x yn #jungkook x you #jungkook x noona #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts x you #bts x y/n

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