#If only my best friend was as into it as I am so we could watch it together and discuss it properly as we watch

[morallygreychaoticneutral]

Astarion prefers monogamy.

Again, simply my cup of thought tea steeped from my game experience. Its not everyone's drink. No shame, no blame, it's your game. Warning for triggers and spoilers.

*added note due to misunderstandings.

Please notice I said "prefers monogamy" not "is monogamous". He may be up for added partners later on down the line. But definitely not any time before the epilogue in my world.

So, why do I think he prefers monogamy?

Take..

"Iv never had anyone. Not really. Nothing that compares to you."

And mix that with...

"I had nothing for so very long. NOTHING! Not even my own body!"

And add..

"You're you. Nobody is like that."

Plus countless other comments and actions and you get a bowl full of elf who just wants something for himself only for a change.

Centuries of being forced to give up or share everything. His possessions, his person, his own thoughts. Nothing to claim as own that no one else could take or touch at any moment. I'm sure if anything was given to him, he had to fight to keep it.

I think, he would be a bit possessive of anything he could claim as his own.

You are a gift to him. Something rare and special beyond words. I highly doubt he would be willing to share anything you are sharing with him outside of friendship. I could even see him getting fussy about strangers touching you. Moving you away or putting himself physically between you and whomever just touched you without asking.

Hells, even ascended Astarion isn't 100% game to share.

"As much as I wish to sequester you in a deep chamber of my palace and keep you all to myself...there is much to be done."

But, what about Halsin? He says he's fine with it.

Is he? Or is he people pleasing?

If he had said something along the lines of,

"Oh? He wants to share does he? Of course he does. I'm not up for such activities just yet, but you are free to have as much Halsin as you wish. "

I would have gone on that bear hunt, but he doesn't.

He askes you if you are wanting to sleep with Halsin because he has not been able to meet your sexual needs. And I interpreted that as he's vulnerable and worried he's being replaced for not putting out.

Imagine you had asked your lover to not to look to you for sex for reasons you are working out. They agree and you are just relieved as hell about it.

"You were patient. You cared."

Then they come along later down the line and say they are thinking about having sex with a friend. Where would your mind go?

I would bet hard gold he weighed the options in his head. "If I don't let them do this, they might leave me for good. But if I allow it, they wont have an immediate reason to leave. Halsin is the safest option given his experience."

And what's the best way to feel less awful about a situation we cant control? Create a counter situation where we gaslight ourselves into thinking its fine.

Wheeee!

I'm not saying Halsin's offer was bad, it was perfectly fine, it was just poorly placed in the grand scheme of things. If you and Astarion were having fun again before he suggested being an extra, then it would have been easier to believe he was really fine with it.

If they wanted Astarion to be a poly partner they needed to write it better. Shadowheart makes more sense as pro poly than he does.

So for me, Astarion is a one on one elf.

I am not against polyamory. I am not trying to take representation away. I am not shaming anybody for their choices. There is just not enough specific content to support it fully FOR ME. I was actually excited at the idea of having two partners in my fantasy world. Halsin was very clear and very specific about being on board. Astarion was not. And the choice did not feel right. Add a line somewhere for Astarion where he says "Im perfectly fine with sharing, darling. As long as it is discussed and we are in agreement of course." I will happily be on board with it.

[verycoolusername1]

Don't think you understand

Summary: Quinn can't get ahold of his feelings, which leads him to push you away unintentionally.

Track 8 of short n' sweet - dumb & poetic

Warning! Slight miscommunication

A/N: This does have a happy ending :) and it's short. I apologize for that!! I just wanted to post something for the short n sweet masterlist(been delaying it)

And I gave you guys a bridgerton love confession kinda so enjoy that lmao

You haven't talked to him in weeks. The man was your best friend and you haven't talked to him in two months, how did this even happen?

Hmm, maybe when you had confessed your feelings to Quinn around the same time, you left without an answer, analyzing the blank look on his face, bringing enough of one for you.

This was your fifth tub of ice cream in two weeks, while on a call with Luke(and Jack, who also joined the supposed gossip session).

"Wait, so let me get this straight." Jack said, collecting his thoughts. "You told him you were in love with him, and he didn't say anything or have any reaction which led to you two not talking anymore?"

"Well, it certainly helps hearing it out loud." You grumbled.

"Sorry! I just need to recap so I know why I have to slap him when I next see him." Jack mutters the last part.

"You know, for him being the oldest, he sure is stupid." Luke chuckles.

"Pretty sure I'm the stupid one here, I mean, I thought he actually liked me back." You smiled Sadly.

"You think he doesn't like you in that way?" Jack asked, you nodded.

"Yeah, no, Quinn's definitely in love with you, Y/N. Have you seen the way he looks at you? The way his eyes seem to shine brighter when he talks about you." Luke shrugged.

"Okay, now you guys are feeding into my delusions." You rolled your eyes. "I lost my best friend because I couldn't control my feelings about him. And now I'm sitting on my kitchen floor, crying to Conan Gray while eating Ben & Jerry's."

There was a sudden knock on your door. Who could that be? It was late in the night in Vancouver.

"I'll be right back guys, don't hang up." You warned.

You walked up to the door and looked through the peephole and saw the man of the house standing on the other side. You unlocked it. How could you not?

"Quinn? What are you doin-?" You were cut off with Quinn kissing you passionately. You melted in the kiss before slowly breaking apart.

"I'm in love with you too." Quinn confessed. "I think I've been in love with you the moment I saw you falling off the swing when we were kids, if I'm being honest. It's very easy to fall in love with someone as special, charming, kind, heartless, caring, and comforting as you. I can't imagine being with anyone else other than you. And I don't even want to think about how sorry I am for not realizing it until now. But I love you Y/N, and I don't think I can ever stop - No, I know that I can't and won't."

Now it your time to be in shock.

"I understand if I'm too late, I just wanted you to know. I'm sorry for kissing you. I just wanted to know what it felt if it was the only time -" You cut Quinn off by kissing him.

"I love you too." You whispered. "Gosh you're so dumb and poetic."

Quinn chuckles. "What does that even mean?" He followed you into the house.

"Y/N!!! Did you get kidnapped? Omg Luke what if we gotta call the cops and tell them what happened and we gotta tell them she was crying about our idiotic brother-"

"Jack shut up." Luke looked at his brother bewildered.

"I'm just saying, could be a possibility." Jack mutters.

"I'm not dead guys." You picked up the phone.

"Y/N! You're alive. What happened? Who was at the door?" Luke asked, Jack chuckling behind him.

"Oh you know just this really hot guy." You answered simply.

"Okay? How hot was he? Is he gonna make you get over Quinn?" Jack asked.

"Very hot and no." You answered.

Quinn came into frame behind you, kissing you on your neck.

Jack and Luke's jaw drops. "No way!" "What the hell?"

"There are children present in this conversation, you guys are disgusting." Jack gestured to Luke who shoved him in response. "I'm 21!"

"Bye guys." Quinn hung up the phone.

"That was rude, you know." You looked back at him.

"I know, I just wanted to kiss you without them bickering." Quinn mumbles.

"And to think I was just crying over you not too long ago." You recalled.

"I'll make up for every tear you shed for my stupidity, I promise." Quinn's nose brushes yours.

"I know you will." You leaned in closer.

[promiseiwillwrite]

Fleabag Season 1.

I am going to overshare like hell here. There's mention of suicide and addiction ahead. Jump off now if you don't want to go there. Also spoilers if you've never seen the show.

There are very few shows that I have ever Identified with so deeply that I had so many feelings that I had to flee the room and not come back.

Fleabag is the only one in recent memory. I kind of liked her, to be honest. And the buildup to the pivotal moment, the fucking vorpal hinge of the season, hit me so hard in my own tendency to think of myself as a sex addicted bad person who is selfish that I nearly threw up.

I hate the idea that we can't go through life without hurting others. But there's no way around it.

Even if we are very careful and very gentle and very kind and always put the needs of others before our own, and avoid things we know could hurt them... we all have places of such delicate pressure in our lives that of we put even a hair out of place, and let one wrong breath or glance or word out, we could tear the lives of others apart.

I have never cheated on a partner. I have never slept with my best friend's first boyfriend immediately before her suicide. I have never done anything that hurtful to anyone in my life, and I would rather die, honestly because I know the hell I would make for myself after such a folly, even after years of therapy and huge work and progress with self acceptance... the hell I would make would be worse than anything the devil could dream up.

That hell rose up inside me when I realized what Fleabag was about to do, as she undid her belt, and I broke.

I am afraid of my own mind, and my own desires, and the possibility of hurting other people. I already fight the idea that I am worth less than they are every day. I already fight myself for the right to even be angry when someone is stupid and cruel to me.

critters and creatures, believe me when I say, I don't have it in me to watch that show.

I Barely made it through Jessica Jones and the prospect of facing the fear of being completely controlled to do things against my own will.

But Fleabag did me in.

when the piece of media got emotional reaction so strong that you're afraid to re-experience it in it

[stunies]

EVIE’S NOTE! welcome to my very first event! this is an open fandom, minecraft centered event that is open to anyone 18+ (anons, strangers, non-followers & non-mutuals are more than welcome to join in!! i would love to create a little selfship / match up post for you)!

if small text is hard on your eyes, see here for this exact post in large text & auto caps. otherwise, details & how to join are written below!

INPUT (SEND ME)… first: your pseud / name (if anon, u can name yourself … anon A? sparkling anon? or just anon). second: if off anon, send me a picrew of yourself! any picrew is fine, but there’s one if u can’t pick. if on anon, describe yourself in detail please! for skin tones, i think i would cry if i got the wrong one, so please give me your fenty beauty foundation shade as a little reference ^^; then send either your preferred fandom or your f/o’s full name!!

AVAILABLE FANDOMS : blue lock, genshin impact, haikyuu, honkai star rail, kaiju no. 8, my hero academia, one piece, tokyo revengers, and wind breaker. you’re more than welcome to send in fandoms that aren’t listed! just know that i am unfamiliar with the character but will do my best (: so i guess any fandom goes

RECAP : send pseud / name + your description or picrew as an ask. if you have an established selfship, send name of f/o. if you would like a matchup, send your preferred fandom instead.

EXAMPLE 1 (MATCHUP) : “evie, kind of wavy black hair, light blue eyes, skin tone : fenty beauty 150 - neutral). please match up with someone from wind breaker! *insert info about my personality that would help me find your match*”

EXAMPLE 2 (SELFSHIP) : “evie + moze, here is my picrew !! *optional: insert some cool info about my selfship that would help me set u two up on a date”

OUTPUT (WHAT I MAKE)….. here’s the link to an example!! i make a post on @z3vie, and i will tag you if you’re not on anon. if you’re on anon— then u gotta scroll!! it’s there somewhere beloved!!

i’ll make you and your f/o a minecraft skin- to the best of my abilities. features will be vaguely represented since i’m not very good bahhaha. i’ll set you up on a minecraft date!! who’s fighting mobs and who’s picking flowers ? >:o we will see. there’s a limited number of date ideas, so repeats will happen. thennn finally, i’ll make you a little moodboard and blurb to go along with it.

OTHER INFO THAT MIGHT BE RELEVANT… i won’t post your ask. i’ll delete the ask when im done & mark yours as complete in my queue! my queue is below, so you can see which ones i’m working on. also, it’s a very chill event! you’re welcome to send me no selfship info, or pages of selfship info. don’t even stress about it ^ ^ !!! (tho u should send me selfship lore because i am nosy) u could send me the minimum and i’d make it work. PROMISE so pls join pleaseee plsplspls ALSO rbs to boost are very appreciated and i will give u a big smooch for it !!

oh shoot also stunies is severely understaffed (there is only one evie here and no twice in existence to duplicate myself) so please be patient > < i will do my very best !! trust :>

ONE MORE THING MY DEAREST FRIENDS! this selfship event is in collaboration with @mlkbwunnies’s 2024 yume creators market !! meaningggg a bunch of others are hosting selfship events right now too!! free free to check out ying’s masterlist here :> HAVE AN AWESOME SELFSHIP WEEK YAYY

evie-specific booth info: open from nov 11 - end of nov 15 (PST). though it’s not a hard deadline. bahaha. anyone 18+ is welcome to join! ^ ^ there’s no slots either! infinite slots hehe..

CURRENT QUEUE! if searching for yours, see @z3vie

completed & posted: names …

sent in an ask: names …

[cupidhoons]

KEEPING QUIET — SJY

in which . . . keeping quiet seems to be the hardest assignment yet — sjy x f! reader ୨୧ brother's bestfriend! au wc 875 ・ w kissing, SUGGESTIVE!! jake is a teasing little twat uhhh idk + likes n' feedback are greatly appreciated !

A/N 💌 please don't cancel me for making romance & tension in this fic for i am just a girl who writes fics for the people xx

THE EVENING WAS QUIET, a calm blanket of silence settling over the house as you huddled at your desk, surrounded by notes and open textbooks. Midterms were creeping up fast, and the thought of failing wasn’t an option. You were so focused on your work that you nearly missed the sound of your window sliding open.

You jumped slightly but relaxed as soon as you saw Jake—your brother's best friend, and your secret boyfriend—slipping into your room with that boyish grin of his. His eyes lit up when they met yours before giving a quick glance toward the door, fully aware of the risk he was taking.

“Jake, are you insane?” you whispered, barely able to contain the mix of annoyance and excitement in your voice. “If my brother finds out you’re here…”

Jake only smirked as he pressed a finger to his lips, urging you to keep quiet. "What can I say? Missed you too much to wait," he murmured softly, his voice low and teasing. He shut the window behind him and moved closer, his presence sending a thrill up your spine.

He settled in beside you, looking down at your notes with an exaggeratedly serious face as if he were actually interested. But his arm brushed against yours, and his eyes drifted away from the notes, focused solely on you. "So, how’s the studying going?" he asked, trying to keep his voice casual, but his hand was already sliding to rest on your shoulder.

“Painful, thank you for asking,” you muttered, feigning annoyance even as your heart raced at his touch. You tried to keep your attention on the textbook, but Jake’s fingers lightly traced patterns along your shoulder, and his gaze was far too tempting.

Before you could say anything else, he leaned closer, his breath warm against your cheek. “You look stressed,” he whispered, his lips so close to your skin. “Maybe I can help you relax.”

“Jake,” you whispered in a warning tone, glancing nervously at the door. “My brother’s just down the hall. If he catches you here—”

“Then we’ll just have to be quiet,” he murmured, a mischievous glint in his eyes. His hand slipped to the back of your neck, pulling you gently toward him, and despite every warning in your head, you let yourself melt into his touch.

His lips brushed against your jaw, soft and featherlight, trailing down to your neck as he shifted closer. You bit down on your lip, suppressing a sigh as his hands traced slow, lazy patterns along your back. He was everywhere at once—his fingers in your hair, his lips leaving sparks across your skin.

“Jake,” you breathed out. The tension of keeping quiet only added to the thrill, and he knew exactly how to keep you on edge.

“Don't worry, baby” he murmured, lips grazing the sensitive spot just below your ear. You felt his grin against your skin, cocky and confident, and it made your pulse quicken. He pulled you closer, claiming your lips in a kiss that was slow and teasing. You tried to stay still, but every part of you was drawn to him, aching for more.

His hands roamed down your back, slipping under the hem of your shirt, and his every touch made your heart pace faster. You could feel his heartbeat against yours, his warmth spreading through you, but every nerve was also focused on staying silent, on not giving in to the urge to gasp or sigh.

You pulled back for a breath, eyes darting toward the door. "Jake, we’re going to get caught," you managed to whisper, but your voice sounded as breathless as you felt.

Jake just smirked, brushing a thumb over your cheek. “Then we better be careful,” he whispered, his voice a low, teasing rumble. He leaned in again, his kisses growing deeper, each one leaving you more breathless than the last. His fingers traced along your waist, his touch firm but gentle, as though he was savoring every second.

He pulled you closer, his hand tangling in your hair as he deepened the kiss, his movements becoming bolder. You stifled a gasp as he traced along your jaw, his lips moving lower, but he was relentless, brushing his lips along every sensitive spot he knew would make you squirm.

The door creaked somewhere down the hall, and you froze, wide-eyed, but Jake only paused for a second, grinning as he held a finger to his lips. He placed a lingering kiss on your shoulder, his touch featherlight and teasing, before drawing back just enough to look at you, his eyes full of mischief.

“Guess I should probably get out of here soon, huh?” he whispered, although he didn’t seem to be in any rush to move. He held your gaze for a second longer, leaning in one last time, his lips brushing yours in a soft, lingering kiss that left you wanting more.

He pulled away with a quiet chuckle, his hand trailing down your arm one last time. "Try to focus, alright?" he murmured with a grin, slipping back to the window. But he glanced back at you before he left, and you knew this wouldn’t be the last time he snuck into your room.

[cosmousee]

WHAT YOUR HIGHER SELF WANTS TO TELL YOU 💫🌟

Hello my loves!!!

I am back.

Love being MIA (jk jk I miss it so much, but life just has been holy crap) Here's a reading on what your higher self wants to tell you. Which Ive been trying to do since fkn last week of October, and finally here I am!!

Oh I am also going to start doing paid readings I guess, I am so excited!!! (but after November because end term exams are upon me)

Lets get to the reading!!

Choose whatever pile resonates with you, whatever does not, remember to just pass it on🥰

Pile 1>>2>>3

Pile 1

Hello love!

Welcome to your pile!

So starting off, your higher self is warning you about the people who are around you. While I was connecting with the higher self for the messages, it felt like there was this huge bundle of snakes intertwined and you were at the centre of it. You might be surrounded by people who do not have your best interest at heart. 

Since they were so intertwined and you were literally at the core of it, it seems like they have sllithered there way into your closest and innermost circle, but not because they genuinely want to be there, but it may be because they want to get some gossip from you, or they want to reap the rewards for the hard work you have done. You know sort of like, parasitic situation.

For you oracle we have

The Bee and Pomegranate: productivity

This card is making me think that they are either jealous of your productivity and want to know how you are doing it so they can as well, or they really want to piggy back on your success and call it theirs. 

With the Bee I think, it is time for you to identify the issues in your hive, and start eliminating them. You might feel a little suspicious about them sometimes but brush away that thought thinking you’re just being paranoid. But, if your intuition is constantly pulling your attention towards that, and if you’re having a bad feeling, its time to sting that *beep* and cut them out of your life. 

I am getting that you might start having some issues while you’re with them, like getting a headache, your energy levels being drained even though you were fine seconds ago. Having stomach issues after having a meal with them, your electric appliances would stop working, something like that.

I also saw this forked snake typa thing, which had two heads, and basically they are double faced and a snake to everyone and aren’t true to anybody. Just felt like mentioning it here.

For your tarot cards, we have,

Ace of Cups and The Emperor (reverse)

I feel like, because of the people around you, and their negative energies towards you, new opportunities might be blocked from coming to you.

You might feel the energy of something new coming, but then it just does not. Also, you do not have your cup full. Because of all that energy draining by these people, you only feel happy superficially, or because you are supposed to feel happy with your friends. But actually, deep down in reality, your soul knows you deserve better and these aren’t the people who are going to fill your cup.

You’ve got better opportunities waiting for you, you’ve got a whole empire waiting for you with The Emperor, but you need the right people in your court who will help you get there. Community is important, and being alone sucks, especially if you’re in a new place, could be a new school, a new university, a new job and you are afraid of letting them go because what if nobody else is there.

But until you take that risk, you will never find out. And honestly, right now, even being alone for a little while would be good for you to rejuvenate yourself and align yourself with the life that you really want, with the people that you really want.

That’s all I have for you today! Thank you so much for reading 🎀🌻Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3

Pile 2

Hello love!

Welcome to your pile!

Idk what it is with this reading, but saw snakes for this pile as well  (I was literally playing slither.io rn), but in a veryyy different light as compared to the first pile. Basically, you know like there are two sides of you, the light and the dark, the yin and the yang sort of a thing. Except, I saw one side more earthy, nature ish and grounded I guess, and the other is just the same thing but… horror ish. You know thorny forest and dark night things. 

I think what your higher self is trying to tell you is that you gotta embrace all of yourself. All the parts, the good, bad, light, dark etc etc etc. It happens sometimes when you realise some weird (dark trait/habit so to say) of yours and then you fixate on that and you end up believing you’re not a very good person (HOLY FKN CRAP the universe just aligned in such a weird way I cannot even, gonna give context in a bit). 

But just because you believe you’re not a good person doesn’t mean that you don’t have the good qualities in you. And vice-versa as well, sometimes when we do light work, we tend to forget our shadow selves, or repress it. Which isn’t…ideal. Ya know?

You gotta embrace everything.. Just like the big snakes circle the little ones in slither.io (such weird analogies holy crap)

Okay so I do use costar (i am aware people dislike it, but its daily messages hit right at the spot. But today’s did not make sense to me, until NOW)

Okay anywho, moving on

Your oracle cards are:

The Caiman and Poppy: dreams

The Hawk and Thistle: graceful persistence

They are going to make more sense with the tarot cards so I am just going to mention them here,

Queen of Swords, 6 of pentacles (reversed), Ace of Wands and 3 of Wands

I feel like there has been some passion project sort of thing you have been wanting to pursue, but not getting the motivation, or you know the nicer way to do it. You may start doing it but then leave it after sometime because it is not providing you the happiness that you thought it would. Its not because you’re doing the wrong thing, its probably because there’s another way to do the thing, where you’ll enjoy it to the core.

This ‘new’ way of doing the thing might be revealed to you in your dreams. Your higher self may come to you in dream state and then reveal what is to be done. Now of course, ain’t that easy, they may not tell you exactly what you have to do, but tell you in some weird ass format which you might have to decode later on.

I am also getting the vibe that do not share this new thing with the people around you, I think. Not until it is successful anyway. I know its fun when you go and be like “Yo I had this epiphany in a dream” and blabber it all out. But for the time being, keeping the thing to yourself would be more beneficial to you. The Hawk from the oracle card has got sharp eyes and is on the lookout. Now its not to say that people are out for you or will take your ideas blah blah, but I think its for your own sake. You know sometimes you tell a person something and the whole excitement just blows away? Think of it as avoiding this scenario. 

Anyways! I hope whatever this new thing is, it brings back your spark for doing the things you are passionate about and this time receiving the serotonin with it as well!

That’s all I have for you today! Thank you so much for reading🎀🌻Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3

Pile 3

Hello love!

Welcome to your pile!

SO OKAY! 

Everybody who chose this pile, like fkn immediately go and connect to your higher selves, they have SO MUCH TO SAY and I can only cover so much (sorry higher selves I am trying my best here)

Okay so, gonna explain everything together, your oracle card is:

The Antelope and Wheat: nourishment

What I felt is like, you know, you have multiple personalities, moods and what not. Like one day you’re like Yay Party and then two days later you’re just hibernating happily. You’re being told to nourish all the various aspects you have of yourself. 

Wanna go clubbing. Sure!

Wanna stay in and sleep in your cute pajamas. Sure!

Wanna go on a solo date/trip. Sure!

Don’t deprive any one of them, if you feel like you do not have enough resources to do so, or just because, it is easier to just lie down or do something else instead of doing what you actually want. 

I’ll explain more with your tarot cards:

King of Pentacles, 3 of swords, 7 of swords, The Chariot, The Hierophant, 4 of pentacles and Ace of pentacles

(see I told you they have a lot to say)

Coming back on track, I feel like you wanna reach the King of pentacles before you nourish yourself, you know have absolute abundance of money, energy, health and what not. 

But it is also possible that sometimes, you aren’t the King of Pentacles, you might be the Queen, the Knight, the Paige and this or that, and then it breaks your heart that you know “oh I can’t do this, I am low on resources”.

But that’s just your brain being wacky, and since you aren’t fulfilling all of your needs, it sort of snatches away happiness from other things as well. I mean of course you’ll be happy doing what you can but then you’ll know something is missing and that’s not the experience you wanna have with the things you love.

Your Higher self is telling you to keep moving forward, do not let your wacky brain control you with its weird ass thoughts (easier said than done). Do not reserve yourself from living your life to the fullest, because of minor here’s and there’s. Its pentacles, it’s gonna get refreshed any which ways and you’ll always be in a cycle of receiving it and giving it away.

This thinking might have been ingrained in you since childhood, through your home, or society or the community that you live in. Which is okay, I mean if you were brought up like that, obviously you will live that way. You know, Asian parents being like you can’t have fun for 2 days in a row! Which is makes zero sense (been there done that)

Try detaching yourself from that mindset if you are able to, because there’s a much livelier version of yourself to live as and they are looking forward to you taking steps towards them!!

That’s all I have for you today! Thank you so much for reading🎀🌻Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3

[nab1wuzhere]

Magnetic

“You wouldn’t look at me.”

“I saw plenty.”

“In my eyes.”

“…Does it matter?”

~

summary:

Bakugo Katsuki, No. 3 Hero in the charts, massive amounts of fan girls, always invited to galas, events, and even award shows along side his peers, but he has never once gotten a dating scandal in his whole career. Has never even looked in a woman’s direction. So you can be certain he won’t change his actions when artist Y/N is invited to sing at a private Christmas Gala hosted for hero’s to celebrate the season and a year well done of duties…right?

Singer, artist, model Y/N, has it all. Looks, wealth, awards, friends, family, and boyfriends.. her music revolves around her relationships and past relationships along with her mental health that she speaks about through her music. She gets asked to gigs almost every day but few are lucky to book her, when her team gets a request for the Christmas Hero Gala which is highly exclusive, she immediately agrees to entertaining the hero’s, excited for the night she doesn’t realize she caught a certain man’s attention in the back of the crowd..

• slow burn - secret pining - romance - bold Y/N, shy Katsuki - vice versa - celebrity!y/n x aged up!katsuki

• following contains, eventual smut, mentions of suicide, alcohol, mental illness, heavy party scenes and probably more !

• 18+ only!! this is your warning

• the rest of the celebrities mentioned in this series i do not take credit for, and the songs mentioned all writing ownership belongs to them! i do not take credit except for this fan fiction!

!! just a friendly reminder this is all fake, simply my imagination placed into writing !!

intro chapter one

furious knocking is heard on bakugo katsuki’s hotel door, with shouts of “katsuki!! katsuki!!” being heard on the other side of the door.

katsuki groaned furiously as he got up and headed for the door, opening it loudly

“what the hell?!”

katsuki opened it to see his best friend, eijiro kirishima standing before him with a star eyed look on him. katsuki sighed and opened the door wider for his red headed friend to walk in.

“this better be good shitty hair, i was about to eat my fuckin’ breakfast.” katsuki spoke with a grumble

“katsuki! you’ll never believe it, guess who’s the performer for the gala?!” eijiro said practically shouting the walls away, his hands in tight fists, barely holding himself together.

a massive sigh was heard from katsuki, “will you PLEASE, for the love of god stop the fuckin’ shoutin’?!” he practically raised his hands in the air with annoyance

eijiro nodded happily, no sign of embarrassment or fear covered his body, his hands just moved in a “guess” motion

katsuki gave him a blank stare before running a hand through his spiky blonde hair. “who is preform—” before he could finish his sentence eijiro already announced the performer,

“Y/N! THE Y/N! like global sensation Y/N?! SHE of all people will be preforming FOR US katsuki!!! can you believe it?! oh my god!!”

katsuki gave him a look of “who the fuck are you talking about” before realization dawned on him, on his face, “oh, the chick who sings ‘NDA’?”

eijiro nodded excitedly, “and therefore i am, your power, when the party’s over-”

“oh yeah, i like when the party’s over”

“male fantasy, i love you- OH my gosh what if she sings i love you? oh ill sob. oh not to mention, illicit affairs, my tears ricochet—”

“eijiro.” katsuki spoke in a harsh tone “we get it, she sings a lot of songs you know.”

eijiro walked towards him and sat down, “see that’s just the thing katsuki, she doesn’t just sing. she’s- hah! she’s an idol, she- she literally defines music, she’s a poet and composer and creates masterpieces using something that comes naturally to her- she- she creates art out of instruments and makes millions out of it-” eijiro reaches for the tv remote. “i mean look she even-”

“oh i’d rather you not go down this rabbit hole of obsession”

“yeah well i’m going to so shut up and eat your pancakes”

katsuki stared down at his plate of buttermilk pancakes and looked offended as eijiro flipped to ‘youtube’ on the hotels tv, seconds later there’s a video playing of Y/N preforming at coachella a year ago, singing her song, ‘idontwannabeyouanymore’ her voice soft and smooth as she sang the words with ease.

“i mean you see how natural it is for her? there are so and i mean so so many singers out there but jesus.. there’s only one of her.” he pointed to the screen and katsuki’s eyes followed to it, the camera panning on her face, her eyes shut, lashes brushing her under eye, her lips close to the microphone, there had to be a fan right above her, her hair flowing around, but yet somehow it didn’t look messy.. like it did but it was a good messy, her eyes opened and a glint of happiness shined in them, her lips curved up into a smile as she harmonized the end, and the whole crowd screamed and emerged into clapping, she looked down at her feet, the air blowing her hair, she looked up and her eyes shined from the blue spotlight creating a glow over her. she mouthed “thank you” before shouting, “THANK YOU COACHELLA!!! I LOVE YOU ALL SO SO MUCH” and the video ended.

“i mean come on!! she’s a fucking legend and in her fucking prime right now, and to even think she’s gonna perform for US?! oh god man i could pass away” ejiro says as he fake swoons and falls onto the hotel couch, his hand on his forehead.

katsuki scoffs as he takes a bite of his pancakes, “yeah, i mean she is good, she’s got a voice that’s for sure-”

ejiro interrupts katsuki immediately, “it’s not just the voice man!! it’s her, she’s from a whole other world! and she’s like the nicest person you’ll ever meet-”

“and have you? have you met her?” katsuki gives him a sarcastic look, ejiro presses his lips met with silence, katsuki sighs as sets his fork down and crosses his arms, “don’t believe everything you see on the internet ejiro.” he said with a serious tone, “not everyone is who they seem to be, i can sniff out who’s a fucking fake from a mile away, i would know” he gives an annoyed look.

ejiro sighs as he gets up and pops a blueberry in his mouth that had been sitting on katsuki’s breakfast plate, “yeah well we will have to wait to meet her so you can “sniff her out” yourself..” ejiro scoffs, “trust me katsuki, she’s the real deal.” he ended with pointing at the tv who had Y/N smiling out into the crowd at coachella, her eyes like glitter.

ejiro said his goodbyes and walked out leaving katsuki by himself and just him staring at the tv screen, his arms still crossed, he mentally slapped himself before pressing the video that would come up next, another performance at coachella from the same year, her hit song, “when the party’s over”. now this one katsuki was familiar with, it was one he found himself listening to a lot in his car, the lyrics were raw he would give her that, and her voice- god if katsuki knew it was something sent out of a dream to become katsuki’s worst nightmare he would have never clicked play.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Home Away From Home 3

Warnings: non/dubcon, jealousy, mentions of loss, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Loki, Peter Parker (tall!reader)

Summary: You’ve been friends with the Odinsons since childhood. After years of separation, you reunite on Midgard after the destruction of Asgard, but find yourself caught between your old and new lives. 

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

Peter’s abode is intriguing. You find all Midgardians have such character in their homes. Stark's is elaborate and expensive, as all things he does, and the spider-hero's being is reflected in his simple but overcrowded decor. 

He has shelves of books and little figures. You investigate them as he rustles in the kitchen. You laugh at the miniature of Thor, his proportions comical as his head is far too big for his body. It’s even more amusing to think Peter would have it all while knowing the god himself. 

“Have you read any comics?” Peter asks. 

“Comics?” You put the tiny Thor back. You wish you could show him. 

You face Peter as he sets down a large bowl of popped kernels. He stands straight and grins, “graphic novels.” He steps around the coffee table and nears you. He takes a slender book from the shelf and opens it to show you the colourful illustrations within. 

“No,” you lean in to admire the pictures. “I did read a book about a strange immortal stalking this poor girl. It was about night time, I think...” 

“You read Twilight?” He chuckles. 

“That is the one. I didn’t enjoy that,” you say. “It isn’t proper the way the Ed—Edmund? Behaved.” 

He laughs again and slides the book away. “I only saw the movies.” 

“There are moving pictures?” You tilt your head. 

“Uh, yeah, maybe we can look them up after we watch some wrestling.” 

“Yes, watch wrestling,” you echo his sentiment with a lilt. “I’m intrigued. Show me.” 

You follow him to the couch. You sit and bounce a little on the spring furniture. You press your hand to the cushion and test the structure. It should do. He sits beside you, fidgeting as the hits buttons on the small remote. 

Your eyes flick up to the screen as he shuffles through the menu. Stark loaded up a device for you with all sorts of moving pictures. You find the TV too frustrating. 

He sets the remote down as the audio blusters and the images begin to move. A deep voice narrates the sights on screen. A man in bright yellow attire postures and poses as he comes down a slanted aisle. You stare inquisitively at the square platform surrounded by ropes. 

“That’s Macho Man Randy Savage,” Peter explains. 

“Macho Man,” you nod. 

“He’s going to fight Hulk Hogan,” Peter says. 

“Hulk?” You look at him. 

“Not Bruce,” he assures. 

“Ah,” you accept and focus on the screen. 

There’s music and a crowd cheering, roaring for the two figures as they put on a show just to get into the square pen. You tilt your head as you watch, leaning forward. 

“That’s the ring,” Peter says. “That’s where they fight.” 

“Hm, interesting.” 

A man in stripes comes to hold up a belt with gold on it. It’s not the sort of thing you would wear. 

“That’s the championship. The winner gets to keep it.” 

“It is not a very nice accessory,” you tut. “In Asgard, we fight for fun or gold. Who would want that?” 

“Well... it’s about what it means. The World Championship. So... they’re the best in the world.” 

You hum and watch on. The men tangle in each other. You stifle a laugh as they begin. The way they hit each other, the way they seem to dance, and do everything so deliberately is silly. 

“It is fake,” you say. “They don’t mean to hurt each other.” 

Peter sighs, “didn’t I say so?” 

You look at him and grin, “you Midgardians do stay too quiet. You never say what you mean.” 

“Oh?” His brows furrow. 

“Yes. You play at fighting and you play at your true intent,” you insist. “You bring me here and say let us watch the wrestling show but I know what you want.” 

He gulps as his eyes widen, “you do?” 

You scoff and reach to ruffle his hair. You stand and unclasp the buckles on your shoulders. Your satin tunic falls forward and unveils your naked chest, the fabric caught up in the belt at your waist. Peter gasps. 

“How do you prefer, dor-dígull?” You reach under the satin and unknot your belt. 

He stares up at you. “I didn’t--” 

“On Asgard, it isn’t a big matter,” you shrug as you free the belt and shimmy out of your top. You step out of it, your chest swinging and drawing his attention. “I have been rather looking forward to it.” 

“You mean...” 

“Oh,” you stand up, your hands on your leggings, “have I made a mistake?” 

He blinks and his cheeks tinge red, “no, I mean, I want to but I didn’t expect...um, well... usually guys make the first move.” 

“Hm, then you make your move, dor-dígull,” you swipe down your leggings and untangle your feet from the bottom. “I will take your lead.” 

He takes a deep breath and his eyes flit up and down your body. You feel tingly and a bit eager. Is it normal for Midgardian men to be so skittish about it all. 

He gets up and strips off his shirt. His chest is thickly muscled, his stomach too. He might be short but he is well-built. He undoes his denim pants and pushes them down, nearly tripping as he fights to get them off. 

You look around and eye the space, “on the sofa?” You wonder. 

“Ummmm,” he drones as he continues to strip. “I guess...” 

“Mm,” you hum and examine the cushions. 

“Unless, er, there’s the bed--” 

“You Midgardians are too slow,” you grab him and turn him, pushing him down to sit on the couch. He tries to cover his bobbing cock as he falls onto it. You tut and swat his hand away. “Let me show you how to do it right.” You snake your hand down between your legs and feel between your folds, “I’m ready.” 

“Uh, okay,” he flattens his hands on the cushions as he gapes up at you. You grasp his shoulders and bring yourself to straddle his lap. 

You grip his member and stroke it as you hover just above it. Your press his tip along your wet folds and tease him. Your hold on him is firm. He throbs and groans at your touch. 

“Mm,” you pause at his erratic shaking. “This is not the first time?” 

“N-no,” he stutters, his cheeks lighting up even more. 

You laugh, “then it will be the best.” 

You push his tip against you and slowly descend onto it. As you sheath him in your aching warmth, he sighs and pushes his head back. He trembles as you take him to his limit. You take his hands and guide them to your hips and begin to rock. 

“This is the better sort of wrestling,” you jape and move his hands up to your chest. 

[coolchasteboy]

"Jennifer, we need to talk." "Why do you keep calling me Jennifer, my name is Josh" I said. "Oh, OK 'Josh' we need to talk" she said very sarcastically. I didn't think it was funny. But Mina had been slowly feminizing me for about six months by this time. "What do you want to talk about."

"Jennifer, it is time that you start wearing panties all the time. I know you keep some boxer shorts and some men's bikini briefs to wear for the gym, but we can't move forward with your transition if you still wear men's underwear." "Well, who says I want to move forward with this." With this Mina got a serious look on her face. "I want it and Tyrone wants it. He isn't going to let you live with me if he thinks you think you are still a man." My heart sunk. "Well, what, I mean, what does Tyrone have to do with this. I mean, I agreed that you could see him and I even started wearing condoms like you asked so there was no risk that my cummies would get you pregnant. What else do you want?"

With that Mina, came over and hugged me. "I know Jennifer, it is hard. But this is really for the best. Being a girl really suits you. Don't you think?" "Well, um .... OK I guess it does in some ways. I feel more comfortable as a girl and the HRT is starting to work on my breasts. But I am still a boy - I mean I am still a man!!!" "Of course you are my sweet, but you are a different type of boi. You are a boi who is better as a girl. And you look really cute in your dresses. And remember, the guys are finding you quite attractive at work and the gym. I bet it won't be long until one of them asks you out on a date." "OMG, you think so Mina. I do love my dresses and heals and Chad at work has brushed my butt quite a few times last week." "See my sweet, you are turning into such a woman, much better than when you were a a so-called man. So it is official, only bras and panties as your underwear from now on, OK?"

What was I to say, Mina was right - as usual. I really am a much better girl than I ever was as a man. I took to heals very quickly. And I look so much better completely shaved. Oh, and I love my nail polish. So yeah, she is right, but still ... "Mina, can I still fuck you from time to time?" "Jennifer, you know how Tyrone feels about that." "But Mina I wear condoms now. And you are on the pill. There is no way I can get you pregnant." She replied "you are half right." I didn't understand and asked her what she meant. "You do indeed wear condoms, but I am not on the pill anymore. Tyrone threw them away and said I was not to take them anymore. He said that his cum is to circulate freely in my pussy. That I am to always take his cum in my pussy or in one of my other holes. I was worried about getting pregnant. He said not to worry. He was so sweet. He said 'baby girl, your pussy is meant to hold the seed of a BBC. It wants to feel the seed in it. And it also wants to take one of those seeds to make a baby. It is my job and it is your duty to make a baby for us.'"

I was stunned. "How long have you been off the pill?" "It started about 3 weeks after you started wearing condoms. So I guess about 8 weeks now." I was just stunned. "Were you going to tell me?" "No" she said. "Tyrone said our love making is none of your business." I asked, "does this mean I can no longer fuck you?" "Sweety, really. I mean, I can't even feel you inside me. He has stretched my pussy so much that I don't even know when you are inside me. I just moan and tell you how big and thick you are so that you will cum quicker and get it over with. You can't compete with Tyrone, that is why you are now a full-time panty wearer. Do you understand?"

All I could do was nod my head yes. I did understand. It made me feel a bit dejected. But I knew it was right. Panties just fit me better. I liked the different styles - bikini, string bikini, thong - and I loved wearing pink panties. Even our friends know I wear panties as Mina as made sure to tell them that I am a pink panty boi.

"OK Mina, I understand. I will get rid of my last few boy underwear. It will be embarrassing wearing my pink panties to the gym, but I guess most of the guys there no I am a sissy by now anyway." "That is so true Jennifer. I think the pink yoga pants that make your little tushy so cute gave that one away."

"I love you Mina. Thank you for helping me realize my authentic self. I was meant to be a woman." With that we both hugged and started crying. "I love you so much Jennifer" she said as she lightly kissed my lips.

Daddy likes that I only ever wear panties now. 🥰

[coco-loco-nut]

High Flyer - Part Two

pairing: charles x reader

summary: no spoilers 🤭

masterlist part one requests open

—————————

You stayed a week extra in Abu Dhabi, not needing to return to Maranello quite yet. You could say that the allure of Ferrari World was too much, and Carlos talked it up to you. It was perfectly silly and probably the best second date you ever had.

The photos of you and Charles post-race were popular among fans, trying to figure out who he is. Then the video dropped, and you found yourself trending in the community once more.

“They are just as fascinated with you as I am,” Charles has said over a video call when talking about it shortly after becoming official.

It takes a lot for you to make the relationship work, strictly timed video calls, staying positive during the periods of time when you don’t get to talk to him, even sending letters back and forth. Somehow it works for you, and you cherish the moments when you get to talk face to face.

The glittering Monaco harbor is behind you as you put your earring in, preparing for the prize giving ceremony. Thankfully it’s not far from your apartment, and you only have to be there for your second place award. You hear a knock on your door and grab your phone, just in case it’s a crazy fan who snuck past the door guards.

“Charles?” you gasp, looking at the man in a suit in front of you, a small suitcase in tow.

“Bonsoir, ma cherie. I heard you are in need of a date tonight?” he smiles as you practically throw yourself on him. Charles holds you tight, savoring the moment.

“How are you here?” you ask in disbelief, the shock distracting you from how good he looks in his dress uniform.

“I got a couple days off. Max helped coordinate the surprise,” Charles reveals, your neighbor and friend pulling through for you.

“I’m so glad you are here,” you catch him off guard by pressing a kiss to his lips, melting into his arms.

“I’m glad I am here too, you look beautiful, and I’ve missed you so much,” he says softly, taking in your Ferrari red dress that fits you perfectly.

“I missed you too, this is much nicer than a video call,” you sigh, not wanting to step out of his embrace, fearing that if you do he will disappear. You know that his assignment is almost up, but you learned that ‘almost up’ means a year.

“I know, but I wouldn’t miss this for anything. I get to celebrate my incredibly talented girlfriend,” he pulls back slightly, aware of the time and that you need to leave soon.

“What if we just don’t go and stay in?” you suggest. Any desire to go flew out the window when you opened your front door.

“No, we will go, you will give your speech, and then as soon as it’s over we can leave. You have me for a couple more days,” Charles kisses you once more, not really helping the whole wanting to stay thing.

You rarely lose physical contact with him on the way over to the ceremony, whether it’s holding his hand, his hand on your waist or leg, or you holding his arm.

“Don’t you two look happy,” Max smiles, proud of himself for the surprise. You and Charles make for a much better looking pair than the fan ship of you and Max. Not to mention, Max is like your brother.

“Thank you,” you whisper as you quickly hug Max. Charles shakes Max’s hand after.

“You may have chosen the most boring event to make your first appearance as a couple at,” Max chuckles, leading the two of you to the bar.

“Well, they wouldn’t let me skip it,” you grumble.

“What are you grumbling about?” Carlos approaches your small group.

“That she couldn’t skip this,” Max says before you can reply. Charles squeezes your hand as you roll your eyes at Max. You take a glass of wine, needing something other than champagne.

“And miss a chance to show off her new boyfriend? I doubt it. Aren’t you glad that the PR team chose me to go to Ferrari World instead of you?” Carlos smiles, knowing that he’s right.

“No,” you lie, “I had to pay to go myself after the race. Charles was the only good part about the media duties,” you slightly lean into your boyfriend.

“Sure. We can both go to the amusement park next year and I’ll pay,” Carlos chuckles, grabbing his drink from the bar.

“Let’s find our seats?” Charles suggests, kissing the side of your head. You quickly find your table, Fred already there to represent the team in the Constructors Championship.

“My sometimes favorite drivers,” Fred jovially greets you and Carlos as if he didn’t see you in Maranello a week ago for a sim session.

The ceremony drags on, you take every opportunity to converse with Charles and your table, but you are subject to hours of awards and speeches. When the night is finally over, you turn down every afterparty invitation thrown your way.

“I am not going to place in the top three next year,” you groan as you slide your heels off. Charles is immediately drawn to the piano that sits in your living room.

“Do you play?” he asks, looking natural behind the keys.

“Not well or often enough, the former renter left it here. I keep it maintained though,” you hum, sitting beside him gently. Charles runs his fingers across the ivory keys, trying to recall a song.

“Well then, let me to the honors,” he smiles, fingers pressing down, easily gliding up and down the keyboard.

“That was incredible, you are incredible,” you say softly afterwards, you’ve never been serenaded before and it’s a turn on.

Charles leans in, capturing you in a kiss. His large, calloused hand rough against your cheek. When you pull away, you lead him to your bedroom, craving all the contact that you missed since you last saw him physically.

The air is charged as he unzips your dress, fingers brushing your bare skin sensually, making you arc into him. Charles brushes your hair off your shoulder and neck, pressing featherlight kisses to the area. Your breaths are shallow, breathless from everything.

“Charles,” you whisper, his name like a prayer on your lips, asking for anything and everything.

“Let me take care of you, ma reine,” he replies, nudging you back towards the bed as your red dress slides off your body. You hands slide up his chest, pausing to push off his suit jacket before they rest on his neck and in his hair.

After a long night, you spend the morning rotting in bed. Charles holds you close as you talk about anything and everything. You take him out on your yacht later in the day, a nice change of scenery.

“I don’t want you to leave tomorrow,” you admit as the sea breeze pushes your hair around.

“I don’t want to either, but I’ve been reassigned to southern France. I’ll get to see you more often,” Charles reminds you. You nod, fighting any tears back at the thought of separating again.

“I know, I just love you,” you bittersweetly smile, a pang in your heart as he pulls you close.

“And I love you,” he says softly, savoring the feeling of your embrace.

You see him a few more times before pre-season testing, visiting him off base and vice versa. The visits were short but worth every moment. Charles calls you when you are leaving dinner after the first day of testing.

“Mon amour, how was testing?” he asks, sweaty from a flight.

“My body is sore, but it was good. I just had dinner with my kids,” you smile, a small pack of drivers behind you.

“Oh, Oscar and Logan are there? Tell yhem hello for me,” Charles smiles.

“Hi Dad, Logan isn’t here,” Oscar smiles, popping into the frame and stealing your phone. You carried the loss of your son deeply, but you don’t blame Charles for forgetting that Logan wasn’t on the grid anymore since you said you were with multiple grid kids.

“You haven’t told him?” Ollie asks, large brown eyes looking sad at his exclusion.

“I just adopted you, kiddo. It’s hard to break the news that he’s now a father to twins and a grandfather,” you laugh, pulling Ollie into a hug. It didn’t take you long to adopt more grid kids, in fact as soon as you got to the paddock Ollie and Kimi came up to you calling you mom. It’s like the cat distribution system. Oscar adopted the new Australian on the grid, citing the Alpine connection, meaning you are a grid grandma. Oscar comes back to you and hands your phone to you.

“We are grandparents?” Charles asks, a little bewildered.

“Yes, funnily enough our grandchild was born at the same time as our twins,”

“Twins?”

“Hi Dad!” Ollie and Kimi say at the same time when you turn the phone to them.

“Hello?” Charles is confused but he does love how you take in the rookies and make them feel at home.

“Sorry, Charles, why don’t I call you when I get back to my hotel?” you smile apologetically, wanting to have time for both of you.

“Of course, call me when you get back,” Charles agrees, no trace of disappointment in his voice. He doesn’t have much to share about his day, especially since he doesn’t have a scheduled flight for a while. Charles watches as the call ends, thankful that he didn’t spoil his surprise.

Testing passes and suddenly it’s the first race of the season. You walk into the paddock, your brood with you. You, Ollie, and Kimi are deep in conversation, confusing Oscar and Jack a bit as you speak in Italian. You’ve already had movie nights that ended with them strewn across your hotel room, and you just know that they will be in and out of your room this season. F1TV already caught Ollie leaning against you taking a nap as you hugged him last season, and they captured Kimi doing something similar during testing.

“Papà,” Kimi says suddenly and you furrow your brows. Jack taps your shoulder and points ahead. Your smile grows as you notice Charles standing ahead, waiting for you. You take off, practically jumping into his arms.

“You’re here,” you grin, barely waiting to kiss him.

“I had to fulfill my WAG duties and meet our children,” he smiles, not letting you out of the hug yet. He utilized his brother Arthur, your reserve driver, to get a pass. Your face was priceless when you first connected the two, it was quite funny how long it took. Apparently sharing a last name and resemblance wasn’t enough until he mentioned it on the phone shortly after Abu Dhabi.

“Get a room,” Oscar makes a face that causes both of you to laugh.

“Oh we will,” you lean into your boyfriend, content to never leave.

“Ewww,” Ollie gags, disgusted at the idea. You and Charles laugh, like proud parents embarrassing your kids.

“That’s Ollie, this is Kimi, our grandson Jack, and you know Oscar,” you point to each boy.

“Nice to meet you all officially,” Charles smiles as he keeps an arm wrapped around your waist.

“Alright kiddos, time for you all to get to your teams. Drive safely,” you part ways with them, itching to get to Ferrari for some private time. Charles insists on getting a coffee before going to your drivers room, and the two of you barely get a second alone before there is a knock on your door. You pull away from Charles, irritation laced in your voice. “I just got here, go away,” you call out before pulling your boyfriend back in.

“I know you are hiding my brother from me,” Arthur’s voice responds causing you to pull away, a slight pout on your lips. Charles quietly laughs, pressing a quick kiss to your lips before he gets up to open the door. Arthur struts in, sitting between you and Charles. You did have the chance to spend time with the Leclercs in their home.

“You know, brother, if you wanted to get with Y/n earlier, you should’ve just asked me. You are lucky I suggested that the media team send her instead of Carlos,” Arthur says and you gasp.

“YOU ARE THE REASON HE GOT FERRARI WORLD INSTEAD?” you practically yell, causing Charles to stifle a laugh. You aren’t mad, well you are but in more of a joking way, sorta.

“She really did not like flying,” Charles clarifies, stretching an arm behind Arthur to play with your hair, a comforting touch.

“At least you met eachother?” Arthur suggests sheepishly.

“He was going to be at the race anyway,” you narrow your eyes.

“You trauma bonded?” Arthur suggests again and your eyes light up.

“Have you ever seen the video of Charles during his hot laps?” you ask, wickedly smiling. Charles looks at you, a mix of panic and curiosity in his eyes.

“No, show me!”

“Nope. That blackmail belongs to me, since you so kindly took away my fun,” you shake your head, locking your phone. Charles lets out a breath of relief, he trusts you completely, but he was worried for a second.

“You’re no fun. You never even adopted me into your grid family,” Arthur pouts as you and Charles lock eyes, shared amusement between you.

“Arthur, why would she adopt you? You are my brother,”

“I don’t know, because she’s the most sought after grid parent. Plus, it’s not like you two are engaged,” Arthur says and you flush with embarrassment and flattery.

“Arthur, you are basically my brother, you don’t need to be my grid kid. You are on the same level as Charles and Carlos,” you are starting to feel like a parent describing something to a young kid.

“I guess that is better. You better mention that when making a family tree video,” Arthur concedes.

“Why don’t we go out for dinner after the second practice session?” Charles suggests, hoping to kill some of the awkwardness.

“I think that’s a great idea. Speaking of, I should start getting ready,” you catch Charles’ unspoken message, hoping to get Arthur out of your room.

“Right, I should do my job too,” Arthur stands up, half expecting Charles to follow, but isn’t surprised when he stays. They can catch up while you drive.

“Finally a moment alone,” Charles grins moving closer to you.

“I wasn’t lying, I do need to get ready,” you say between kisses.

“You need to undress first, and I can help with that,” Charles murmurs against your lips as his hands slide underneath your shirt.

“We are working on limited time,” you point out, brain fogging.

“We go fast for a living, we can do it,” you were a few minutes late for your prep meeting. Arthur gave you a weird look, one that told you he knew what you were up to.

Both Charles and Arthur were glad to have the weekend together, spending time as a family while you raced. Before you knew it, Charles was kissing you goodbye at the airport as you both went to your next stops. His France and yours Saudi Arabia.

What you didn’t expect was Arthur banging on your driver room door as you are prepping.

“I’m in, I’m driving,” Arthur seems to be freaking out a little bit as you let him in, dressed in a Ferrari suit.

“Carlos is out?”

“He’s in the hospital getting surgery. I’m driving a Formula One car,” you process it beside him, remaining much more calm than Arthur.

“Did you call your mom?” you ask, knowing the answer is likely no since he would’ve been in team meetings since he found out. Arthur shakes his head no, so you squeeze his shoulder and grab your phone.

“Y/n, what a surprise. Is everything okay?” Pascale’s voice rings out over the phone.

“I’m sending a jet to you right now, and I’ll send the flight details in a bit. Arthur will drive his first F1 race and you should be here,” you tell her over speaker phone, working everything out starting with the flights.

“Is Arthur with you?” she asks as Arthur peers over your shoulder.

“Hello Maman,” you tune out their conversation as you send her the jet details and start working on hotel rooms for her, Lorenzo, and Charlotte as well as paddock passes. You only really get out of your planning zone when Arthur grabs your phone to hang up and hug you.

“You okay?” you finally ask, knowing he is probably emotionally drained already.

“I can’t wait for you to officially be my sister, and I can’t wait to drive alongside you this weekend,” Arthur says, you gently rub his back to ground him.

“You will do a great job. Let’s get through free practice three and then we can talk about some tricks to make it work for you,” you stand up, grabbing your gear to head to the garage.

You try to help him out as the team gets him adjusted and tested for approval, but you have your own driving to worry about too. It’s very clear to the team that you are looking out for Arthur and want to help him learn the ropes. But when it’s time to get into the car, he is own his own. You do well in your program running, but check in on Arthur periodically via your engineer.

Arthur qualifies well for a rookie, and you start the race second row at P3. He is the first person to greet you in Ferrari after you return from the media gauntlet.

“Congrats on P3,” Arthur smiles, showered and ready to go back to the hotel.

“Thanks! You did pretty well for your first time. Give me like 20 minutes to shower, yeah?” you ask, ready to get some sleep.

“Thanks again for helping me get through today, I see why everyone wants you as their grid mom,” Arthur says, not protesting when you hug him.

“Of course, I want you to succeed,” you reply, excited to see his reaction when his family is waiting at the hotel for him. The team covered their hotel rooms since you booked flights before they could.

“I can’t wait for you to be my actual sister one day,” Arthur yawns, your face Ferrari red at the thought. Of course you thought about it, but having him say it is different, it’s more real.

“Maybe one day,” you say, sliding into your chauffeured car. Arthur gets in beside you, and finds himself as your pillow. You accidentally fell asleep as the car left the circuit. Arthur takes a selfie and sends it to his family group chat as your soft snores fill the car. He scrolls on instagram, killing the rest of the time on the drive, when he sees an edit that the F1 account posted. It is the free practice three timesheet with your last name changed to Leclerc. He sends it to you, knowing you wouldn’t want to be awakened for it even if it is funny.

“Y/n,” Arthur pokes you as you arrive at the hotel.

“Hmm, sorry. You should’ve woke me up once I fell asleep, you don’t have to be my pillow,” you yawn, slightly stretching before getting out of the car.

“Maman,” Arthur hugs Pascale, who is patiently waiting at the entrance for him.

“I’m so proud of you,” she says before stopping you from slipping past. Not that you were going to avoid her, you just assumed she would want privacy with Arthur. “And you, thank you for today. You are a part of this family,” she wraps you in a hug, making sure you know how much your effort was appreciated.

“Of course, you couldn’t miss Arthur’s first race. I’ll let you guys catch up,” you smile, hugging her one last time.

“Can’t have you falling asleep again,” Arthur teases, your smile deceives your joking irritation.

“You won’t let me live that down, will you?” you say, shaking your head. “I will see you in the morning for breakfast,” you bid them goodnight, ready to collapse in the plush hotel bed.

It’s a sight to see, you walking into the paddock with the Leclerc’s (minus Charles) behind you. It’s clear to fans that you have been easily incorporated into the family. Charles watches from afar, having the day off from officer duties. He sends a couple texts, wishing you luck and a few memes from fans based on the post made by F1. You reply when you can, but it’s sporadic.

“Ready to lose?” Max asks you during the drivers parade.

“I should ask you the same. But if it means I don’t have to sit through prize giving again, then yes I am ready to lose,”

“It’s not that bad,”

“You won your third championship, you are used to it. Plus, you hate those events more than me, don’t lie,” you laugh.

“Alright, that is fair,” Max relents. He ends up winning, but you climbed a position and took P2. You won’t hear the Italian anthem this week, but you sing it in your head on the podium as you get your trophy. The teams energy is infectious, even for P2. Arthur meets you in the motorhome, holding a phone to your face.

“Congrats, mon amour,” Charles says, a proud smile on his face.

“I drove okay, Arthur drove well though! Points in his first race,” you smile, accepting hugs from Lorenzo and Charlotte. Pascale stole Arthur’s phone, taking Charles away from you.

“Any recommendations for dinner?” Lorenzo asks, ready to celebrate.

“A few. Will you two come out tonight to celebrate?” you ask, adjusting the suit that hangs at your waist.

“Someone has to stay with Pascale, but I know Arthur will party tonight,” Charlotte politely turns down the offer.

“I will, I heard Max always sets up good parties,” Arthur is excited to celebrate with the grid.

“Expensive parties, you are lucky I’m picking up the tab for you,” you laugh, Arthur’s phone being placed in your hand.

“You look tired, call me when you get to your room,” Charles smiles sympathetically.

“Will do, love you,” you smile back, handing the phone to Arthur as you make your way to your driver room. True to your word, you call him once you shower and change. It takes another twenty minutes on the phone for Arthur to bang down your door, reminding you that you have a family dinner to get to.

“Enjoy dinner, I love you,” Charles says before hanging up.

The season flys after that, especially when Ferrari begins to get very competitive again, putting more pressure on you and Carlos.

Charles got leave approved to go with you to the prize giving, both of you deciding to make a mini vacation out of it. The night before, you go to a small Parisian restaurant for an early dinner then a sunset walk along the Seine.

“What was your favorite part of the season?” Charles asks, wrapping an arm around you.

“Hmm, maybe winning Miami, or finally getting more consistent at the end of the season. The PR team would want me to say the trip in Abu Dahbi they arraigned for Carlos and I since I publicly complained that only he went to the Ferrari World last year,” you ponder the question, not having thought about it. You and Carlos had a blast, and it made both of you think of taking trips to amusement parks during winter break. “What was yours?”

“That graphic of you with my last name,” Charles reveals with a smile, he still makes you blush like a schoolgirl.

“That was a good choice,” you see something on the other side of the river and take a step away to get a close look.

You turn towards him to point it out and that’s when you find him on one knee.

“I’ve been waiting since the start of the season to ask you this. I knew during testing that you were the one and that I would marry you, then when everything in Saudi Arabia happened, it confirmed it more. You are my everything, and my forever. Will you marry me?” Charles asks, watching you tearfully nod.

“Yes,” you nod, watching him slide on the ring. Charles is beaming as he pulls you in for a kiss.

“Forever,” you whisper your promise against his lips.

“What if we get married tonight?” Charles asks, the thought springing into his mind.

“Tonight? Why not,” you grin, a rush of adrenaline going through you.

“We will have to wait for the paperwork, but I’m sure we can find a priest,” Charles kisses you, as he mentally plans it.

“Let’s find the nearest church, maybe the priest is a Ferrari fan,” you wink. The priest was, and was more than happy to marry you despite no wedding certificate. Your families were ecstatic, especially when you both promised to have a formal wedding during summer break.

instagram

y/n_leclerc husband appreciation post 🥰❤️

comments are limited

carlossainz55 when did this happen???? we are discussing this tomorrow at prize giving (congrats i guess?)

y/n_leclerc we will tell you everything then!

charlesleclerc Je t'aimerais pour l'éternité ❤️

y/n_leclerc pour l’éternité❤️

arthurleclerc getting engaged and married on the same day is so you coded, proud to be your brother

charlesleclerc we will celebrate when we get home

y/n_leclerc proud to have you as my unofficial official brother 🫶

scuderiaferrari congrats! (admin is sad that we weren’t invited)

maxverstappen1 👍

y/n_leclerc 👍

oscarpiastri no invite 😭 congrats mom and dad

jackdoohan ^ getting eloped 🙅‍♂️ cool

olliebearman ^ he finally did it though!

kimiantonielli ^ i guess sometimes your soulmate isn’t a car

y/n_leclerc you all are grounded

logansargeant congrats! come visit soon!

y/n_leclerc we will try! you are welcome here anytime too 🫶

f1 we so manifested this in Saudi Arabia 👀

[seungsuki]

so there's this professor... - 03 tea with ghosts masterlist

“it wont fit!”

“it will stupid. just let me do it and stop moving!”

“it's too big alvin!”

“am i interrupting..?”

the room fell silent. what was going on? you and alvin had been assigned to clean the classroom, and things were already going a little haywire as you both struggled to refill the ink pens for your math professor. but this? this was a whole new level of awkward.

you glanced over to see a man standing in the doorway, looking a little lost. his charming green eyes sparkled as a small smile played at the corner of his lips- his presence almost reminding you of a main character in a romance manga. were you… seriously crushing on a total stranger?

“lord moriarty?? here at our university??” alvin rubbed his eyes in disbelief.

confused, you turned back to alvin just as he quickly stood up and gave a small bow. before you knew it, he grabbed your arm and tugged you to your feet, gently pushing your head down in an awkward bow of your own.

“no need for the formalities,” the man said, raising a hand in amusement. “i’m rather lost”

“what brings you to our university, lord moriarty?” alvin asked, already pushing you behind him like he was some sort of protective shield.

“i dropped off some snacks for my wife. she’s a professor here, and now i can’t find my way out,” albert flusteredly sighed. 

“i can escort you out, let us first pack up or else professor moriarty will scold us about the mess”, alvin turned around and shooed you back to cleaning 

“professor moriarty..?”, albert repeated 

“professor william james morarity! he’s our mathematics professor! he’s so cool! you should see him teach some-” 

“he knows idiot”, alvin cut you off with a flick on your forehead 

albert turned to you with a raised brow. “and you two are...?”

“i’m [name] [last name], and this is my best friend, alvin leroy!” you quickly introduced

“more like my only friend,” alvin muttered under his breath, distracted by counting some papers.

“oh you both must be the students who gave william a set of chalks? it was very thoughtful of you both”, albert recalled. “he carries around the cloth everywhere” 

“he does?”, you asked, bewildered. you hadn’t known that.

“great.. just great”, alvin groaned, rolling his eyes at your reaction.

“might just be his good luck charm”, albert continued.

your face shaded in red, looked away as silly imaginations ran into your head. your professor kept the gift? it made you feel special, almost like you were the only star in his eyes 

“come on, let’s go,” alvin sighed, slinging your bag over his shoulder.

“i’d love to invite you both for some tea and simple talk,” albert said, his smile widening. “it would make your professor very happy”

“we have to study,” alvin replied, grabbing your hand as he headed for the door.

“oh, but he can help you study,” albert countered, stepping in front of alvin to block his way.

the two men stood there, sizing each other up in a moment of unexpected tension. what was going on? you could almost feel the chill in the air.

you shook off the unease, deciding to speak up. “we’d love to!”

“no, we’re not going-”

“great! after you?” albert said, waving you forward with a smile.

and that was how you ended up standing in front of the moriarty mansion, your jaw practically on the floor. it was massive. alvin, looking at you questionably, sighed heavily before placing his hand under your chin to close your mouth. 

“this place… is huge!” you whispered loudly, eyes wide.

“i have eyes, genius,” alvin muttered. “now stop gawking at everything.”

“i didn’t think professor moriarty would be this rich,” you whispered again, feeling a little self-conscious. “my gift must’ve been pocket change for him.”

“that’s why i told you, it’s a waste of money. we could have gotten our usual rolls for snacks”, alvin grumbled

albert led the way, smiling warmly. “unfortunately, i can’t accompany you further. my wife needs me. let me introduce you to louis- he’ll show you around.”

he gestured toward a blonde man standing nearby. louis was strikingly similar to william, with ruby-red eyes that seemed to lock onto yours the moment they met. he offered a small smile, and you couldn’t help but feel your face flush. did… you just find yourself crushing… again?!

“why can’t you look at me the way you look at them…” alvin muttered under his breath as he pulled you a little closer.

“what did you say?” you asked, confused.

“nothing,” alvin grumbled, flicking your forehead to distract you.

louis cleared his throat. “brother william is upstairs in his office. this way”

as you walked through the house, you had to admit- it was simpler than you expected. maybe it was just your first impression, but it felt a little underwhelming after seeing the mansion’s grand exterior.

alvin, on the other hand, seemed even more pissed off. he just wanted to head home with you, to his mother’s flower shop. you both would have been eating snacks, talking and laughing over the silliest things you can find. then walk behind to the big field and guess the cloud shapes 

but there was no turning back now. louis led you both to the door of william’s office, knocking before stepping inside.

you froze when you saw your professor. he was sitting at his desk, papers scattered around him as he meticulously marked assignments. he looked up with a warm smile, clearly surprised to see you both.

“leroy? [last name]? what a pleasant surprise,” william speaks. “please, come in”

“professor!” you exclaimed, skipping in eagerly.

“wait for me. i’m not your babysitter- carry your own bag!,” alvin groaned, trailing behind you.

you sat across from william, and alvin placed both of your bags beside him before sitting down on a nearby chair. william put aside some papers to give you both his full attention.

“what brings you here?” william asked.

“lord moriarty insisted we come,” alvin answered before you could. “trust me, i’d rather be doing something fun.”

william chuckled softly at that, clearly amused. you took the opportunity to recount the whole story, leaving out no detail. william listened attentively, nodding along as you spoke. his eyes were focused on you, and you couldn’t help but notice how intently he was looking at you. was he really listening to every word, or was he just being polite?

you suddenly grew self-conscious, your words stumbling as you realized how much attention he was giving you. you could feel your cheeks burning up. why did your professor have to be so charming? you almost let out a dreamy sigh just thinking of him 

alvin, sitting quietly beside you, watched everything unfold. a strange feeling began to stir in his chest. on one hand, he was happy to see you interacting with someone you liked- someone who seemed to appreciate you.

on the other hand, he starts to feel a heavy tug in his heart. he didn't like how nauseous he was suddenly feeling. what was so special about professor moriarty? yeah he was rather good looking, knowledgeable, respectful- but isn’t he the same?

“you’re gonna drive him mad from all that talking” 

alvin cuts you off, looking william in the eye. he moves his hand, allowing his fingers to brush the edge of your chair. then with light force, he pulls your chair closer to his. it wasn’t forceful, you could barely even feel the movement before you realized your chair was beside him.  

you looked up at alvin, his hand resting lightly on your chair, his fingers tapping rhythmically on the wood. his eyes were fixed on your professor, but the look had changed. it was no longer just curiosity. it was something more… almost threatening? 

you shake off that thought, it sounded stupid. why would alvin want to threaten your professor? william watched the entire thing unfold, seemingly amused by the action. he tilts his head, his calculating ruby eyes figuring out what alvin really wanted 

“anyway,” alvin continues. “since we’re already here, i’ll have some orange juice, and [name] can get some tea. oh! and some of those fancy cookies- the ones from lord moriarty’s collection you know?”

silence, before william lets out a small chuckle, nodding to his student. maybe you were over analysing the situation after all. it was rather funny, watching alvin list off the things he wanted to eat while william was hearing him out 

“oh and the answers to our homework- thanks prof”

TAGLIST

@eliasorchard @ayaswrld @iris-arcadia @onna-musha-mari

© seungsuki 2024-25 -- do not repost, translate, alter, etc on any platform without permission. Any characters used in my work do not belong to me, they are created by their original creator. all images are from pinterest.

[neuroticbookworm]

Love in the Big City Part 3: Go Yeong and Gyu-ho

Last week I talked about Go Yeong’s relationship with his Umma and concluded the piece with a declaration of hope that someday, he learns to love the people in his life differently than the love he received from his Umma. Which begs the question: how exactly does one learn to love, if the framework they were presented with in their childhood turns out to be flawed, or even downright destructive?

@twig-tea has already gone over the dynamics of Go Yeong and Gyu-ho’s relationship in her excellent post. She talks about the irritants, the mundanity, the way they both clearly want the best for each other, even when they’re fighting. And @lurkingshan mentioned how the show’s depiction of Yeong and Gyu-ho’s relationship felt so real, something we rarely see on television. I’ve always been a sucker for narratives that explore the difficulties faced by a couple after they get together, so reading and watching this section of the story was a treat for me.

I want to bring attention to a moment from the show that stuck with me for days after: the scene where Go Yeong types “Unlike our dramatic start, our relationship turned out to be average, even dull” as Gyu-ho puts fresh water bottles into the refrigerator. Gyu-ho gets up, silently looks at Go Yeong for a moment, turns off the light and goes to bed.

This hit me way harder than I thought it would, because we just *saw* what Go Yeong was typing, and we saw that Gyu-ho could see his screen. It felt so representative of their relationship; Go Yeong dissecting it with his pen as Gyu-ho is waiting for him, right there, to talk to him. Alexa, play right where you left me by Taylor Swift *fetches a bottle of wine to pair with the despair*

The hardest part of watching this relationship come to an abrupt end was that we could clearly see the both of them trying. I love that we saw Yeong ask T-aras for advice after his fight with Gyu-ho at the cafe. Going to your friends for help when you don’t know where you’re fucking up in a relationship is a great idea, and I’m happy that the show created this detail. When Yeong was pissed off about their laundry becoming smelly on the drying rack, Gyu-ho found a way to solve the problem, by drying their clothes at a laundromat.

I wanna talk more about Gyu-ho because he was one of the most earnest characters I’ve encountered in fiction. In the book, we only see him from Young’s narrative perspective. I love his depiction in the show because it decouples him from Young’s lens and forces us to engage with their conflicts without Young’s voice in our head. Gyu-ho pursues Yeong after their chaotic meeting at the bar. He does not jump into bed with Yeong immediately, but also openly expresses his desire when he reminds Yeong that they are on their third date. He does not hesitate to take space in Yeong’s life, barging in to fix his curtains, dragging him out from bed for a morning walk. When Yeong tells him about Kylie, he hugs him close and cries. And then chides him for being so cavalier about it (I love him so much, can y’all tell?). When they’re living together and bickering about chores and the minutiae of life, he does not become mean about it. He makes conscious efforts to spend time together, before and during their cohabitation. He stands his ground in a fight, but also reaches out for truce after the fight runs out of steam.

[If it feels like I am putting down Yeong and his behaviors when talking about Gyu-ho, I am not. These characters are complex and real, and therefore flawed. I am simply focusing on Gyu-ho in this post because @lurkingshan already wrote a defense for my boy Yeong.]

Gyu-ho understands early on in their relationship that Yeong is not comfortable communicating his fears, pain and shame, and that he masks them with aloofness. @wen-kexing-apologist wrote about how Gyu-ho turns away when Yeong smiles at him from across the aisle when they are traveling to the airport. He sees it for what it is, a refusal to be vulnerable with him. And that’s the moment I saw where they failed in their relationship.

I think we learn to love by loving, or at the very least, trying to love another person. Trial and error. Go Yeong was more vulnerable with Gyu-ho than he had been with any of his previous partners, and yet he couldn’t let him in enough to share the reason why he could not travel to China. He couldn’t see himself worthy of comparison with Gyu-ho’s potential career and financial growth from his stint in Shanghai. And Gyu-ho felt this distance from Yeong and chose to not push him on it. He bared his heart to Yeong, but did not possess the strength to force his way in whenever Yeong put up a wall. This problem was too big for both Yeong and Gyu-ho to solve individually, and they did not learn to problem-solve together in this relationship. Gyu-ho could not find a laundromat to solve this one, so he chose to walk away.

[f1writingbyme]

Hi everyone,

This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever written, and I never thought I’d be sharing something so deeply personal. But here I am, reaching out, hoping that someone else out there might understand this journey, this longing, this ache that I’m carrying. I don’t have a big following, so I don’t know if this will reach many people, but if there’s a chance it connects with even one person who’s been through something similar, it’ll be worth it.

My boyfriend and I have been trying to start a family. For over two years, we tried before finally going to our GP, who sent us straight to a clinic. It’s been a year of treatments now, a year of hopeful highs and crushing lows. We tried IUI (intrauterine insemination) four times – four times our hopes rose and fell. Then we turned to ICSI (intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection) because “traditional” IVF wasn’t an option for us.

When I had my egg retrieval, they collected a lot of eggs, but only four turned into embryos. Four. Just four chances to hold onto this dream.

Today, we found out that none of those embryos made it. We’re back to square one. All those hormone shots, every bruise, every drop of blood, every ultrasound, all the mood swings, the endless hoping and praying – only to have to start from scratch. I can’t describe the exhaustion, both physically and emotionally. You go through the medications, the appointments, waiting, and waiting, just to start all over again. It feels like it’s breaking me.

We’re going to try again because we still hold onto this hope of having a baby together. But we also have to face the reality that it may never happen, and that thought shatters my heart. Watching others around me get pregnant, hearing news of new babies… it’s so hard to see, and it fills me with a mix of sadness and anger that I can’t even fully explain. I don’t want to feel this way, but it’s the truth.

I feel so alone in this. None of my close friends or family have faced something like this. I’m reaching out here, hoping to find someone who understands, someone who has been through this kind of pain and hope and heartbreak. I feel like I could just disappear, like the ground could open up and take me in, but here I am, holding onto a sliver of hope that one day, somehow, I’ll get to hold a little miracle in my arms. Until then, I’m trying my best to be patient, even when it feels like it’s breaking me.

I want to thank @lestappenforever, my best friend in the entire world, for being my rock through all of this, even from miles away. You never push, you never overwhelm me with questions — you’re just there, right when I need you. That kind of support means more to me than I can put into words. I love you. ❤️❤️❤️

I don’t know if anyone going through the same thing will see this, but if you do, please reach out. I’m here to talk, to listen, to be there for you, but also to share my story.

You’re not alone in this. Please hold onto that. ❤️

I'm going to be a lot less active on here. I'm sorry for that (if anyone cares) but I need some time to myself. Mona and I will be back on the 1st of December with something fucking amazing which I hope you all love ❤️ I want to thank you all for your support and I love you all.

[34saveme34]

Single Wrong Step Away from It - a short smg34 fic

3 has a nightmare but not in the way you'd think. He feels awful about it either way.

Words, about 2.2k I think?

---

He walked down a dark corridor, knowing the sight that would greet him. This had been right underneath the crew’s nose and they were none the wiser. It was an all too familiar man with a television for head, looking at monitors. The room was as dark as his desires. And sinister as their plans, fake as the friendships made along the way, except this one.

“I’m so glad you saw my way, SMG3”

“Well, I oughta” 3 chuckled.

“Especially for the amazing amount of intel you could give me! With the information I possess about SMG4, all because of you, we should be able to take over his channel in no time!”

“And this time, for good, I hope at least”

“You got me this time and I assure you I know how to plan things right”

They shared a chuckle.

“I can almost imagine the face SMG4 will make when he realises that our friendship was anything but real!”

“Oh, you’re truly sinister, SMG3! If I knew earlier we could’ve worked together way way earlier”

“What matters is we’re doing this together now!”

They set out finally, together. They had a foolproof plan. SMG3 knew that SMG4 blindly trusted him at this point, and had him wrapped around his finger. The best possible prey. And 3 was getting ready to pounce.

They were walking in a forest together. Nothing but the sounds of the night with them.

“Hey, 4” 3 called out to 4. The fact that he was called 4 caught him off guard a bit, considering that 3 doesn’t use it for him a lot. It made him smile.

“Yea?”

“I was just thinking…” 3 started, a sort of anxiety making it hard to speak for him. Or at least that was what 4 believed.

“Yeah? I’ll listen, dude”

“I’ve just… I’ve known you for so many years… And you know… we have a lot of great memories together”

“Aaaand?” 4 asked with a smile he couldn’t rub off his face.

“I’ve just you know… realised that maybe… there could be more to it” 3 played being flustered perfectly.

“More to it how?” 4 wasn’t giving it so easy.

“Oh, you’re gonna try and make me say it? Dummy” 3 chuckled.

“Well, would be great if you did… but I think you should know my answer” 4 grabbed 3’s hand.

They both laughed.

“Well… I guess I could say that there’s feelings for you in me that are not hatred or just friends… but something more”

4 giggled.

“Something more you say?”

“I’m not giving you any more hints”

“Don’t think I need anymore” 4 cupped 3’s cheeks.

“Go on then”

4 leaned in, finally giving 3 a kiss. It took one decade and while sweet and lowkey, it felt so earned, so…. So perfect. Such a powerful thing.

“I just wanna say one thing though” 3 said after 4 pulled away.

“Anything” 4 was so lovestruck.

“You should’ve been more careful” 3 smirked, but it wasn’t a nice smirk, it was sinister and  it confused and also scared 4.

“What do you mea-” but he couldn’t utter another word, being clapped together between the palms of an all too familiar TV head man. 3 heard the man’s dark laughter. First there was SMG4. Now there wasn’t. Just in a quick swoop, he was no more.

“Genius!” Puzzles applauded 3 “What a perfect setup to get the perfect rating! I approve of your dedication”

“Only the best from the best” 3 chuckled.

“Now to move on to the rest of them..”

~~~

3 woke up. The events in his mind slowly set in. He felt his chest sink. It didn’t actually happen. He wasn’t even the one being betrayed but somehow this felt worse. So much worse. He got out of bed, going to the bathroom to wash of his dream sins. He wished he never even thought about this. He wished he didn’t have such a stupid fear that would haunt him from time to time.

He looked at himself in the mirror.

“Am I truly good?” he asked himself, inspecting himself. Looking at everything wrong about him. There was a lot. He wondered what would happen if he suddenly ended up going that way… Fame was always something that could sway him. He looked deep in the mirror, deep in his eyes, the red in his eyes. He felt confused by it the deeper he looked. Wondering if there was something in him that could break out and he could ruin everything. Lose everything. Make years of friendship look like a joke. He shed a tear. He kept the rest back. He had an urge to cry but it was hard to get out. He wiped his eyes. 

He went back to bed and laid down, trying to sleep again. But all that would haunt him was 4 in his dream, looking so confused, not even given the right to process that he was betrayed by him. The look of horror on him that he swore he saw for half a second. It was scary.

He turned and turned, everything felt uncomfortable, along with his thoughts. He felt hot yet cold, his blanket felt strange and uncomfortable, his pillow was anything but welcoming and his bed felt like a trap to put him in a cycle. He sighed as he sat up.

He went up and made himself a nice, warm glass of milk. With a bit of sugar too. While warming it up, still all he could think about was the idea that he was really wasting his time and he could lose everything any moment. That he could easily snap back and ruin everything. 

The beeping of the microwave snapped him out of it.

He took it and sat by one of the table, sipping away at it quietly. He looked outside to at least somewhat distract himself. It looked so peaceful outside. After finishing his milk, which he really only made because that would sometimes make him feel better, he instead went outside. Midnight air just hits different…..And it did then as well. It felt refreshing, comfortable in a way. 3 could take in a big breath. Although in the end it wasn’t enough but at least he wasn’t suffocating on his thoughts helplessly.

He looked at the castle, knowing exactly where 4’s room was located. Knowing the layout of the room like the back of his hand, knowing, as he looked there where his bed would be located.

He shook his head. No, he couldn’t bother him then, that’d be so selfish.

“Besides, what would I say to him?” 3 thought out loud “Ooooh, SMG4, can you comfort me? I had a nightmare! I sound so stupid right now”

Just after he said that, he saw 4’s face pop up in his window. He froze. Did… Did 4 hear him? Oh god…

He saw 4 gesture him to come in. 3 sighed, he wasn’t escaping this now. He went around, not wanting to crawl through the window so he went through the main entrance then to his room’s door. 4 was already standing in the doorway, waiting with his arms crossed.

“So?” 4 asked as 3 stopped in front of him, not saying a word.

“C’mon dude” 4 asked again “I heard something was bothering you”

“Why are you even awake, it’s like 2 AM”

“Video grind. Regardless, I think you’re awake for worse reasons… Something about a nightmare? That I could, saying it with your words, comfort you about?” 4 said the last part with a small grin, obviously teasing 3.

3 slapped him.

“Shut up”

“Oww!”

“Serves you good”

“I’ll shut up if I can listen to you”

3 stared at 4 unamused before sighing the biggest of sighs known to men, feeling a bit flustered alongside it.

“I just had a stupid dream where I betrayed you with the help of Mr Puzzles and I’m scared it could happen in real life, are you happy? That’s what’s keeping me up”

4 looked at him concerned. 3 felt awful.

“I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have told you”

“No… No, it’s okay” 4 mustered a smile “It makes me happy when you’re more open with me”

3 chuckled.

“Rare occurrence, right?” 

“Yeah with how much of a tsundere you are”

“I’m NOT! Got it?? I’m anything but that”

4’s smile fell.

“Sure sure… I’ll believe you.”

“I thought you would freak out more”

“Huh? Why would I?”

“At the thought that I had a dream of betraying you”

“3… did you enjoy betraying me?”

3 thought back to the dream, the whole kiss part flustered him a bit.

“3?”

“Uh- Of course not! Why would I? I may be a villain but I’m not… not…” 

“You’re not what?”

“Not… abandoning you. Not after everything”

4 looked at 3.

“Wow, is that still you, SMG3? I never knew you could be so direct… or that you felt that way about me” 4 teased 3.

3 was almost about to tell him off again, but he stopped himself. He calmed himself down with a deep breath. He firmly but with love grabbed 4’s shoulders.

“Are you trying to make fun of the fact that I care about you this much? I never cared so much about anyone. And I’m scared, I’m really scared I could… hurt you again. Do you know how scary it is, feeling the looming possibility of me backstabbing you?” 3 teared up “It’s so scary. I don’t wanna lose you”

4 didn’t know how to respond. He felt a bit flustered by such an admission of care for him. He knew 3 cared about him but all these words coming out of him directly just put a sort of feeling in him that made it just a little harder to stand and a little harder to think.

“3…I know you wouldn’t…”

“But- but what if I have a weird change of heart? And become what I used to be? What if I go and kill you on purpose? Like I’ve wanted to in the past?”

3’s tears wouldn’t stop.

“I- Listen, 3… I get that you have quite the history but um…” 4 took a deep breath. It was his time to be honest. 

“You… honestly amaze me, 3. For all that you’ve gone through I’m… proud of you? In a way… Yes, you tried to kill me and I’m not happy that happened… I’m not happy about so much you’ve done but… to me, you’ve made up for it… If… if you changing isn’t real then- then is anything real?”

“Eheh, you’re exaggerating…”

“No, dude, I’m serious! At this point- At this point I can’t imagine a world you would betray me in… besides… Mr Psychiatrist degree, isn’t this dream of yours kind of OCD adjacent?”

“Well-” 3 thought for a bit “Hate how you’re making sense there…”

“If you… hate it so much, it just shows how much it’s not what you REALLY want… I’d trust that the last thing you’d ever want to do is hurt me”

3 looked down. He had to take a bit to take the words in. 

“3…?” 4 was concerned with the silence but he didn’t need to be concerned for long as he was pulled into a tight hug. 3 buried his face in 4’s neck, still crying a bit so he soaked 4’s shirt, not that he cared. 4 might have but he didn’t that’s for sure. 4 returned the hug, rubbing 3’s back. It wasn’t always the easiest with 3 but these kind of moments were the ones making it all worth it for 4. He would live through so many murder attempts if it meant he could get more of this kind of 3, a 3 that could be so honest. A 3 that could care so much, so much that he could tear the universe apart. He loved it. Especially because he felt similarly. Sometimes he would remember old times and wonder how they couldn’t have been friends earlier but then realising that what they have now… It’s perfect. He would never even think to wish for anything else.

And they didn’t pull away for a long while, it felt like a waste to do so. A question appeared in 3’s mind that wouldn’t leave him alone.

“Say… 4… mind if I… spend the night here…? It’s cool if you don’t want me to- It is… kind of weird for me to ask to anyways”

4 pulled out of the hug.

“I was actually thinking the same thing. Although I don’t have another bed prepared” 

Silence inserted itself between them as they were both looking at each other awkwardly.

“I knew you were gay” 3 said, quoting the legendary video.

“Alright, that’s it, you’re coming to bed with me”

“Ooooh nooooo, what will I ever doooo” 3 said sarcastically.

“Oh, you know. Sleep” 

As they both laid down it felt a bit too real. Sure, they first softened the tension of the idea with jokes but that didn’t mean it would be easy after.

3 looked at the ceiling then at 4. Then at his hand. Although this all felt weird and he didn’t like being so direct- he grabbed 4’s hand, firmly at that. 4 looked at him. They stared into each other’s eyes a bit before 4 smiled.

“I’m glad to have you in my life, 3”

“Ahem, I’m actually more glad to have YOU in MINE” 3 got competitive about it. They both laughed about it then finally fell asleep.

[queermarzipan]

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

BEST. SURPRISE. EVER.

BTW

I LOVE YOU ASMI I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

SOOIGJLCFGOOOOO

R o b e r t d e n e i r o

R O B E R T D E N E I R O

i'm dying. i'm actually dying

Russel T. Davies

Russel T. Davies

ily asmi

i'm laughing bc this is incredibly obvious to ME but that is EXACTLY THE SAME RHYTHM so i am in fact delighted that you knew that

Yes this is true. Twelve is the lesbian and thirteen is idk pansexual or something idk. some sort of extremely niche microlabel i feel. not 'lesbian'

YOU WOULD THINK WOULDN'T YOU but no the master just really is that much of an ego-full person. he chose the name. like every time lord gets to choose their name and he called himself the master. & honestly there is also some sort of BDSM thing going on where the master REALLY LIKES the doctor using their name. and they're also both firmly in 'I Can Fix Him' territory about each other. fucking hell

MISSY MY FUCKING BELOVED ISTG I'M SO MAD THAT THE ONLY MASTER ARC THAT HAD HER BE LIKE FIXING HERSELF WAS WHILE SHE WAS A WOMAN AND THEY HAD THAT CLEAR DELINEATION THEY MADE BTW 'THE MASTER' AND 'MISSY' & I'M JUST. I LOVE HER. YOU FUCKING GOT ME. W H Y

the fucking bigeneration i was READY TO CRY & then they gave me the BEST GIFT OF ALL FUCKING TIME WHOVIANS EVERYWHERE CHEERED ISTFG

i also fucking sobbed but that's not the point the point is it fixed me

i love how little catherine knows about doctor who. every interview they do where david and catherine are together and something factual about the lore comes up david turns to catherine like "👀😇" i fucking love it

the QPR is the realest thing ever istFG it's so much stronger than stobin it really is and i'm biased towards stobin bc they're my FIRST PLANTONIC SHIP but omg they knocked it out of the park. the doctor 7 donna. forevermore. in the brains of people who have gone insane

THE FUCKING. KILLS HER. FUCK

HE KILLS HER

TO SAVE HER LIFE

BUT HE STILL KILLS HER

AND HE HAS TO CARRY THAT

FUCKING HELLLLLLLLLLL

this is what the 60th anniversary fixed in me btw. this pain. the cracks r still conveniently there & reopen when i put myself back in time within the canon

why would i do that you ask

obviously

i

must

????

pain

donna

</3.

^see. totally reasonable

the original show had shitty effects and so does the new one and everyone loves it. if u genuinely think the shitty effects of dw are something to overcome u r made aware that u r incorrect. we love our ridiculous procreate ass living bin and obviously plastic mickey. go watch avengers if u want GOOD cgi

this is profoundly accurate & also neutral which is smart bc having not watched the show u would ABSOLUTELY not be able to adequately defend your position to avoid having ppl come up to ubto ""explain" why ur wrong.

that said.

tentoo is the best ending rose tyler could have possibly had it tied in with themes in school reunion & impossible planet & family of blood & also fucking army of ghosts & doomsday & no one can ever change my mind. i fucking love it to fucking pieces u can pry the metacrisis from my cold dead hands

HE'S CALLED TENTOO BC HE'S ALSO TEN IT'S A FUCKING PUN IT'S THE BEST PUN EVER I LOVE IT

NuWho is one word & New Who is two words. Expeditiousness is the friend of all. this is the fandom that uses full-on numbers to refer to versions of a character lke the infamous "you can like 11 better than 10" post lmao u expect us to keep two words we could conpress into one??

THE TARDIS SHOULD ABSOLUTELY IMPLEMENT RIBBONS FOR SEATBELTS IF I EVER GET TO WRITE FOR THE SHOW THAT'S MY FIRST FUCKING SUGGESTION. I'M FUCKING LOVING THAT. also the tardis😍😍🩵💙🩵💙💙🩵💙🩵🩵

he does indeed. bridgerton episode

the ninth doctor is sometimes a butch lesbian and sometimes something unknowable & i think it was the unknowable version that was bobbing his head. he fucking rocks also ur absolutely right he has so little rizz. he can get it

truth. nothing more to say

very very queer. nothing more to say

david tennant and catherine tate had SO MUCH FUN during that episode istg i love them so much

the sexuest person is indeed a head. apparently he was supposed to be in a certain story arc & he'd have his head chopped off and that's why he's a head but they couldn't get him. so now we just simply have to assume that he got into a beheading predicament at some point

the Meep's pronoun is the definite article. easy mistake to make. the Meep is always "the Meep". friend shaped because evil subterfuge :,[

.....uh........ idk asmi idk lmao

WAIT OH MY GOD IT'S CASSANDRA YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT CASSANDRA I'M GOING TO EXPLODE THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNYYYYYY

*strolls into tumblr and falls on my face pretending I haven't been missing for like a month I was out getting the milk hello maggots*

Doctor Who But I've Never Watched It 2.0

For those of you feeling deja vu YES I HAVE MADE POSTS ON DOCTOR WHO BEFORE OKAY but back then I was a young uneducated lad, just a fresh blossom unfucked by tumblr. Now I am surrounded by you lot and by god do y'all love Doctor Who. And I am Educated. My DW virginity is deflowered. All that.

SO HERE WE GO, EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SHOW I'VE NEVER WATCHED:

The show started in 1963, and then was rebooted in 2005 and the showrunner was... Robert de Neiro? Idk all I know is he gives Pedro Pascal vibes. Like his name. His name is Robert.

There have been 15 Doctors so far. One is a lesbian and it is not Jodie Whittaker, it is actually the 12th doctor.

There's someone called the Master. I don't know what that means, or if it's some kind of BDSM thing, but he has intense sexual tension with the Doctor.

He's also emo and has bleached hair and is kinda babygirl. And is called Missy.

The Doctors all have intense trauma and the 15th Doctor kind of girlbossed it by leaving David Tennant intact when they binary-fissioned.

Donna is a person played by Catherine... Tate? Not Hepburn. And she knows less about Doctor Who than I do. And Donna is in a QPR with the David Doctors (there are two of them).

David Doctor loves Donna very much. And then he kills her. But doesn't kill her. And then they have dinner together with her husband and kid.

The original show had shitty effects. The new show does too, and everyone is happy about this.

Rose is someone the David Doctor is in love with and then she ends up with a human AU of him and he leaves and the fans are very divided and passionate about this.

The human AU is called Tentoo because y'all hate using W's. What the fuck is Tentoo. What is Nuwho. Why isn't it New and Two. Help me.

THERE IS SOMETHING CALLED THE TARDIS, IT IS BIGGER ON THE INSIDE, I HAVE HAD WEIRD DREAMS WHERE IT WAS A FUCKING AUTO-RICKSHAW WITH RIBBONS FOR SEATBELTS, AND IT IS BLUE AND NOT YELLOW BUT IT WAS YELLOW IN MY DREAM. Because of a Drarry fanfic that I misread.

The 15th doctor dances homoerotically with someone during the French Revolution.

The 9th doctor kinda vibes with like his head jiggling idk I've only seen one gif of him.

The 13th doctor keeps forgetting she's in a woman's body.

It is all very gay.

David Tennant's arms are too long.

The sexiest person is a head.

The Meep's pronouns are Meep. Meep is not friend. IF NOT FRIEND THEN WHY FRIEND SHAPED??????

A buttcheek skin talks or something yeah this is all I got.

have at it y'all @robinprinceofchaos @multidimensional-trashcan @wispedvellichor @queermarzipan thanks for the second hand brainrot

*sneaks away under the cover of night* i was never here

[genderchrisisspeaks]

Victor as The Machine Herald has changed in meaning significantly thanks to Arcane season 2 episode 2. He has gone from a character of desperation, anger, a want to get rid of all things human, to a savior, a liberator, and a healer. An almost messiah like figure.

This post will contain spoilers for Arcane you have been warned. I go in-depth about victors character below the cut <3

Since arcane season one I have wondered how we were going to go from this version of Viktor, an innocent inventor trying to do the best for humanity, best friends(👀) with Jayce, only wanting to improve and save lives. To The Machine Herald we know in LOL. Now it is clear they are truly recreating his character entirely. Evolving him some could say.

Viktor in game is a character who wants to bring in the evolution of machines and technology in the human race by force. He is unlikeable and brilliant. He gets along with almost no one and has gotten rid of his own emotions by operating on himself. I am very much paraphrasing all of this so forgive me if I miss some things.

"To solve this, he operated on himself to remove those parts of his flesh and psyche that relied upon or were inhibited by emotion."- LOL fandom wiki

"Currently, he is still dedicatedly working on bringing the Glorious Evolution to the people, and saving them from themselves." - LOL fandom wiki

“Viktor has shown little regard for free will and autonomy when dealing in matters of life and death.” -LOL fandom Wiki

In the game he augments himself purely with machines, technology, and his own wit. No arcane, no magic, no help from Jayce (to a degree he spurs on some of the change). But in the show oh in the show, he connects directly to the arcane!

Throughout season one we see Viktor struggling with his disability and chronic illness, his smallness and lack of, I don’t want say respect, maybe acknowledgement, compare to Jayce. He progressively gets sicker and sicker as time goes on causing him to look more and more into the hex core. Exploring its possibilities, pushing its limits, experimenting on himself. A trait they have kept the same between the version of the characters. Until it kills someone he cares about and he forbids himself from continuing his research, despite his declining health, and despite his very clear connecting to the hex core and by extension the arcane.

Going into season two it shows us who survives and who doesn’t. Viktor was not going to survive, but our boy Jayce, always a fire under him with no flame retardants, takes Viktor straight to the hex core. Jayce fuses Viktor and the hex core, irreversibly changing him forever. Viktor sits in this pool of wild runes(this is all information only with act one of arcane s2). Changing his body and healing and improving him. When he awakens he is different, disconnected, the air around him is different, a visible haze there, he has become one with the arcane. Jayce does not realize this, all he sees is his friend, who he would do anything for, alive, changed but alive and he just leaves him.

GIF credit to @ludinusdaleth

Viktor goes to the undercity in a very Jesus fashion, drawn by a pull and the voice of Sky, to the shimmer slums. He feels a purpose here. In the game lore he retreats after his credit for making Blitzcrank is stolen and he has been looked at with prejudice from those in piltover for his rather unethical ideas.

"Viktor devised a helmet that would allow an operator on the surface to bypass the wearer's fear-response and effectively control the diver... Jayce later reported the incident to the college masters, who then expelled Viktor for work that violated basic human dignity- work that, in Viktor's eyes, would have saved lives." -LOL Fandom Wiki

As the shimmer slum residents circle around him with intent to attack him and take his cane (now more of a staff) for its gold hardware to sell for my shimmer Viktor sees something, senses something. He doesn’t look at them with indignation or disgust, he looks at them with understanding, he sees their pain and their suffering and he walks close to the man who is holding a knife at him with no fear.

You can actually see him start to affect the man, in his eyes they change color from pale yellow to more blue, into dropping the knife. Only then when the knife is dropped does he take the final steps closure to him and heals him from the mutations of shimmer.

He has finally become what he set out to be in LOL. He is saving people, he is helping and healing humanity. Just now not through unethical(we will see how this part plays out) and more mechanical means, instead through the arcane and the abilities it has given him. Which I find very interesting seeing Viktor wield the arcane is something Jayce has always wanted and what began their friendship.

I am genuinely so excited to see where Arcane s2 takes his character. I can see why he wasn’t in any promotional material at all now, it would have given too much away. There is a scene in the trailer towards the end though that actually shows the people of the shimmer slums healed and floating when the trailer says "The Arcane is waking up" which i find super cool.

ngl does look a little questionable but I'm here for it.

I do want to say that I do not believe he is being “controlled” or “possessed” by the hex core. He was fused with and became one with the arcane and hex core. Throughout episode two/three we see parallels with the wild runes and magics to Viktor that Jayce Echo and Heimendinger discover in the hex cage(?).

I will not be surprised if this becomes very outdated by the end of season two but they are my current feelings/observations immediately after my watch of act one.