#If I don't write this down

[vole-mon-amour]

I don't think I ever gave a name to that, which results in me never truly pinpointing that, but Johnny is such an incredibly resilient and adaptive, quick thinking person.

I just did that mission with an old Samurai fan that refuses to give you the tape of the first concert(s) unless you prove to him you're also a big fan, and the way Johnny reacts combined with what we know about him? Amazing.

The game starts with Johnny wanting to kill V, but then he very quickly thinks it over and decides he has to work with V. "Changed my mind, made it pretty clear." & "I got a free ticket out of this prison, would be a fool not to take/use it."

Then, while he's still getting used to V, he says out loud that he's been watching her, been trying to understand how she works and in whose brain he's stuck with. When she asks what he wants, he says, "Help me settle my score with Arasaka." He has a clear goal, but he's constantly analyzing the world around him and adjusts if needed.

During the Samurai old tapes mission, Johnny says something like, "That's why you never bring old war heroes back. They might see that everything they fought for been turned to shit/been for nothing." Not the exact quote, but the point is the same.

After the conversation with that old fan, V asks, "The guys is your biggest fan. Not happy to meet him?" And to the entire situation Johnny basically reacts that the guys is stuck in the past. The Arasaka tower has been blown to bits by Johnny, but it's still standing, so nothing changes/changed. And V insists that "been fifty years, something must've changed and still changes, we just don't see it." Johnny says that the only thing that (truly) changed is that people (a person) used to be more than a bag of meat full of implants.

When Kerry is angry (as he should be) about his manager screwing him over and wants to attack Us Cracks backstage, upon seeing the girls, Johnny says something like, "They have potential. Kerry must be an idiot if he doesn't see that." Johnny probably saw/heard them during the first V's body takeover while he was partying, plus, he probably saw the footage that Kerry showed V at the diner while they were drinking coffee, so in theory he had time to think it through. However, it also seems like Johnny saw the band for the first time ever, heard what they were saying and how they wanted to help (that they're Kerry's fans, have multimillion contracts and are touring right here and now), so he immediately adapted—take the opportunity, don't be an idiot. While Kerry is insecure and is driven by that and emotions, and he wants to make it on his own.

The entire thing with Johnny first hoping to get out of V's brain and keep on living that resolves into him taking V to Pistis Sophia and promising her that "When it comes to my life for yours, I'll agree to get wiped." He sees what V is going through, he gets real, he thinks it over, he makes a quick decision and he sticks to his word.

There's probably more I could add, but jumping to the Temperance ending: how Johnny doesn't bother telling Kerry about V (which is both a shitty and a necessary thing to do), how he only reaches out to Rogue and updates her on the situation because it's something HE needs to do for himself. When she insults him, however, he a) he's still grieving the loss of V b) he doesn't start defending himself, nor does he bother to even reply to her messages. He told her all she needed to know, the rest doesn't (or at least shouldn't) bother him. It's a post factum to Johnny: this happened. He has to live with it & it doesn't matter what anybody says about that. And while he basically says to Steve. that Kerry is good, that he's happy for him and his success, he knows he has to get out of Night City. And who knows what happens if he calls Kerry or, God forbid, meets up with him and tells him that his partner/good pal (gn) is dead and Johnny took her place? It's like poking a beehive. Like adding salt to the wound while the wound is still bleeding. Johnny doesn't need that.

So what does Johnny say when he gets on the bus? "Didn't forget a thing. Will never forget." Johnny recognizes that everything that has happened has ALREADY happened and he should leave it in the past. He even tells to V's necklace that he can't keep on living like this, he has to move on—while the time after her death has barely passed (two weeks or two months, when you lose a loved one, it barely makes any difference. It's still an open wound.) He even tells Steve that he used to miss her, but not so much now. Which I think he tries to convince himself in order to move on and "man up" (which is a problem in itself, but that's not what the post is about), or be nice to the kid without burdening him because Steve already has lots of problems with his family, but maybe Johnny truly believes (or thinks that he does) that it's OK now. Just like with that old Samurai fan, he tells to himself not be get stuck in the past (while it's still his present, but again, that's another topic). The time to grieve has ended, gotta get on.

Again, combined with Johnny's horrible childhood, his dad selling him for a pack of cigs, Johnny losing his best friend at war and being experimented on with the new cyberware that made such an awful and lasting damage on him (and the entire untreated PTSD) that, when he emerged, everyone around him noticed that he's not quite himself, it's incredible that Johnny managed to not lose his mind and sanity completely. With drugs, alcohol, depression, but he kept being functional, managed to write songs, tour and perform.

And THEN the entire thing with V happens & he still finds enough of mental strength and energy to keep fighting for this body and this life that V gifted him. Make himself worthy of this body. Make V proud.

Johnny is such an amazing character. If there wasn't anyone and anything in this game that I liked, he and his character development alone would've kept me in the fandom. He and his story are a big part of why I keep calling Cyberpunk 2077 one of my favorite games and have around 380 hours put into the game (and it's still raising).

[complete-clownery]

Okay guys

INPRNT!!

[inkskinned]

i keep thinking about how rfk said that autistic people "will never write a poem." i keep thinking about that, about if humanity is calculated on the back of old verse. how far we measure personhood is in baseball and stanza breaks.

i keep thinking - i have over 7k poems on here alone. language can be a special interest, after all. did you know the word autism comes almost direct from the greek word autos, meaning "self"? self-ism.

maybe he is right - i haven't really played baseball. i was a ballet dancer instead. and besides - my sister once accidentally hit me in the face with an aluminum bat. i'm not sure if the injury gives me half points. am i only a person in the dugout? hand in a mitt? swinging?

does softball count? does cricket? am i a person if i throw the ball to my dog. am i a person as long as the ball is in the air, or do i stop being a person as it rolls into the bushes. i took my girlfriend to fenway recently; was i a person in the sun, with my hands up, with the game laid out at my feet in a diamond. i felt like a person, but that was back in the summer, and i often feel my most person-like then.

am i more of a person because of the sheer number of things i've written? does quality matter, or is it quantity? i used to write entire books every summer in high school - i wasn't doing well. i felt the least like-a-person back then. but then - does any person feel human in high school?

in the library, ink on my skin, i feel personhood shutter at the edges of myself. actually, writing feels blissfully like not being myself. it feels birdlike; escaping into creation so my body dissolves and i survive only by muscle memory. i am not there, i am writing.

but who can deny the falconlike focus of warsan shire, the tenderness of mary oliver, the sheer skill of amanda gorman. those are poets. they are certainly human. you could line them up with the way their words have influenced us and measure their literary shadows like wings.

perhaps it was very assumptive of me to want to be a poet rather than "a [ label ] poet." i wanted the work to fill itself in, rather than be stained by what i am. i do not write in despite of my neurodivergence, i am just neurodivergent and writing.

does the poem have to be in english or can i send it through my palms into the coat of my dog. does the poem have to make sense. does the poem have to love you back.

if i break a glass, will the poem appear naturally? or is the act of breaking the glass human-enough. the shards of my life glittering out beneath me - do i have to write the poem, or is it self-evident in the pile of glass splinters? i cannot grasp this world the way other people can. regardless, i endeavor to touch - even the mess - very gently.

i broke my toenail against my coffee table recently. i released a bug outdoors. i made coffee. i walked my dog.

i didn't write a poem about any of these things.

something else, then. existing without humanity.

[count-pudding]

Leon trying to get Merlin out and succeeding(at last!)

Merlin complaining

Cafe

The inspiration meme

[the-one-who-lambs]

First drafts aren't the final product and they're allowed to be messy. Except mine. Mine has to be perfect immediately

[egophiliac]

Final manifestations for Book 7?

I'm trying REALLY hard not to build up any solid expectations, because I wanna go in ~fresh~! they're already so far away from anything I thought would happen (not in a bad way, I'm just accepting that I'm on Miss Yana's Wild Ride at this point and we're seeing this thing through 'til the end, by gum). so it's nothing too major, but:

they've been handing new crying expressions out like candy lately, I want to see some delicious Malleus tears.

honestly I want everyone to cry buckets. their tears sustain me. the more Silver angst specifically I get the happier I am.

SILVER!!!! 👏 VANROUGE!!!! 👏

just let him have this. the poor boy's been through so much. let him have his big "I'm proud of you, son" moment with Lilia.

I'm 100% expecting Grim's arc (and probably whatever's going on with Crowley) to be its own episode, but a nice hook to leave us hanging on would be good!

a nice hook though, please, I don't think I can take another "Grim is attacking us! now wait eight months to find out what happens :)" cliffhanger...

some Meleanor? as a treat? just a little bit, a tiny quick flashback or something, please Twst I just, I just want to see her again. let her have a little ghost cameo like Dawnathan Knight got. Lilia and his kids are all having their big group hug or whatever and she can gently fade in to be all like

(turning asks off until I'm done playing, SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE Y'ALL)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

HOT, SINGLE, UNSTUDIED SPONGES. 3000 NAUTICAL MILES AWAY. Come sail the distance and read Tiger Tiger!

[prlssprfctn]

Do you ever sit down here for a minute and start thinking that technically Jason asks from Bruce the only thing Bruce can not give him (to kill Joker or to let him kill him), but for Jason it is the only thing he had ever asked from Bruce at all?

[quadrantadvisor]

Thinking about DP x DC Jason Todd being a revenant again. Here's my scenario. Jason gets called that by some ghost. He's like "what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" He's heard the term before but he doesn't know any actual lore. He googles it. He scrolls past the Leonardo DiCaprio bear movie. He opens the wiki. Sees the words "animated corpse" and gets a chill diwn his spine. He starts reading the first section.

He closes Wikipedia.

That night he has a nightmare that his family buried him, again, this time with precautions. He wakes up in his own grave, full of stones, too heavy to move, to scream.

[inkyrainstorms]

you guys know those AUs where Stanley opens the portal after thirty years but for Ford only a few second/minutes/days have passed in the portal.

What if, in another world - by the infinite nature of multiverse - the portal was functional enough for another run right there in the portal room, that blistery cold 1982 winter day. What if, when Stanley threw enough things around and pressed enough buttons and the portal opened again (in the same spot in the Nightmare Realm it had before) (not calibrated to Ford like had been in canon) the Ford had stepped out was the one from his final confrontation with Bill. What if Ford stepped out thirty years older and wiser and angrier

What if he saw Stanley crying, relieved, and then terrified and confused and devastated. What if he, at sixty years old, saw Stanley and saw only a scared child, half his age. His brother.

What if Ford had thought his brother had left and grown up for those long thirty years, but he came back and it was his brother that saved him that very night? His brother, by sheer dumb luck? His brother, who couldn't have accounted for time dilation if he tried (not like the old Stanley did) but still tried

[the-hwaelweg]

It's baffling to me when people don't want to "yes and" in a fandom space. When they're like "no, you're wrong, this is how the characters behave and this is how it would go." Like sorry, but sounds like a skill issue to me. I have a boundless imagination and can imagine the blorbos falling in love in a million different ways 🤷‍♀️

[cherry-mash]

it's hard being so cute and not knowing it or understanding. that 'L, M, N, O, P' is super tricky, y'all :'(

first / previous / next

[lazylittledragon]

ok someone please correct me if i'm wrong but am i weird for thinking those 'audiobooks don't count as reading' posts are ableist as fuck????

[haematoclan]

Leo's relationship with death

Leo really doesn't like to think about death.

I mean, we all saw how much impact Karai's death had on all of Mad Dogs but Leo was the only one that had to be dragged from her, yelling after her, he really, really didn't want to lose her.

And I think when he lost her it left a deep scar.

I saw posts talking how Leo wants for things to get back to normal and pretend nothing happened, which I completely agree with. I think it's in big part because of his fear of repeating losing a close one.

He REALLY doesn't want to even acknowledge death.

Here Raph seemed to be getting through to Leo-

-but the moment he mentions possibility of his family dying?

Nope, time to deflect, joke and feign ignorance.

Leo's aware that death is a big part of being a responsible hero and that's why he'd rather goof off with his brothers and not train.

Because obviously when you ignore something it just dissapears, right? So if they ignore severity of certain situations and possibility of dying it won't happen, right?

If they don't treat it seriously they'll be fine! Totally!

Then Raph shields Leo from the Krang and sends him away.

And it's as if Karai's death stared right in his eyes.

So Leo picks up the slack of leadership in order to save Raph. He behaves carelessly during this time but can you really blame him, he desperately wants to save his brother, to stop yet another family member from death that he is so scared of.

He still tries to be positive and nonchalant, that "pfff obvioulsy everything will turn out alright!" but at the end of the day, it's not that simple.

Casey's speech had hard time to really hit Leo, he's still avoiding confronting resposibility, literally and metaphorically turning away from it. But the moment Casey says Leo's whole family died?

Now that made an impact.

And every time his family is in terrible danger he looks absolutely terrified and basically every time Leo has to be dragged away to not just return and try to save them again.

And when there's nobody to drag him away?

First thing he does is sacrifice himself. Because I don't think Leo is scared of his own death, or at least he is not as scared of him dying as his family. He'd rather give away his life than live through another grief.

Obviously I'm not sayin that the rest of the fam isn't terrified of close ones dying. But while they seem less aware (Mikey) and/or more ready for the possibility (Raph)...

Leo's wholly aware but he'd rather not be and ignore his fears until he can't anymore.

[raynewolferune]

Meta Jazz, the Arkham Intern Therapist Pt1

Update 5/16/2024: Congrats guys, gals, and others! You have planted the seeds and they have grown. Today I wrote another 46 pages on this story (the first section was only 9 pages ya'll). I'm working on splitting it up into smaller sections so I can post it now because tumblr said no to doing it as one piece. I'll be using the tag #Meta Jazz Arkham Intern Therapist if you want to follow it.

Original Note: I'm going to go ahead and apologize for how OOC Bane is in this. It originally was Joker but I couldn't see Jazz tolerating his proximity for more than a single millisecond so Bane it is.

~*~*~

The hardest thing about being a Meta in Gotham was responding appropriately during a Rouge's attack, Jazz mused to herself. Or perhaps that was just the hardest part about being a Meta intern at Arkham while studying psychology at Gotham University. Or maybe it was just her, she considered watching the guards and Dr. Rylie whom she'd been shadowing for the past 2 weeks wide eyed, pale, and shaking as theybstared at Bane behind her. It must just be her, Jazz decided, newbie guard Kyle Jennings was definitely a Meta after all. She should probably give him some tips on hiding his enhanced strength considering how often he broke mugs, door handles, and other delicate items used in daily life.

"Weapons down or I'll snap her skinny little neck." Bane growled out, shaking her slightly for emphasis. She very much doubted that. Liminials were built different than the standard Meta, stronger, faster, better endurance, and senses even if they could mostly appear to be standard humans on the outside.  As such, their bones and muscles were much were much denser than regular humans or even Meta humans. Technically, she could be considered "invulnerable" much like the Kryptonians are.

"Back up! Let him through!" Dr. Rylie  shouted at the guards. "She's my student! Let him through!" His voice was higher pitched than she could recall hearing it before.

Ah. That was panic.

Jazz sighed involuntarily and glanced over her shoulder at Bane. Why the man had grabbed the only person close to his own height nearby was a mystery to her - no, nevermind, he clearly meant to use her as a shield - but it made looking him in the eye more difficult than necessary.

"Mr. Bane, remove your hands from my person, please." Jazz stated calmly, channeling what Danny called her inner mom as she spoke. "I will give you to one to comply."

Bane looked stunned for a moment then laughed.

"Five."

The laughing continued. Jazz could sense a stir of uncertainty through her colleagues as they looked on.

"Four."

"Did you really think that would work?" Bane snorted out, arms tensing more around her.

"Three." She continued, indifferent to his words from her experiences raising her brother. Once the count down starts you mustn't respond to anything the kids do or say until they comply or the count is done.

"What cab you even do if I don't?" Bane asked darkly breathing directly in her ear. She kept her face expressionless despite the urge to express disgust.

"Two."

"Jasmine..."  Kyle whispered halfway across the hall from her looking on with a pained and horrified expression. Gun tilting towards the floor. Sloppy.

"One." She finished and Bane gave a derisive snort.

Then she was moving. Hauling the enormous man up and over her shoulder using the arm that had been wrapped around her neck. Bane hit the cold tile hard enough that the tiles, subfloor, structural supports, and part of the concrete foundation buckled beneath him. His shoulder popped out of joint, his wrist cracked - a hairline fracture by the sound of it -  and his breath was punched out of him from the force of impact. She released his arm as soon as his was embedded in the tiles and moved forward. Kneeling over him, support most of her weight on her left foot resting on the broken ground, her right knees pressed firmly across his throat without supporting any of her weight. The position put more strain on her muscles than she would've liked but at least Bane couldn't risk fighting back without crushing his own neck in the process. He could hardly throw her while flat on his back with a mangled arm.

"Now," Jazz began, looking directly into the behemoth's pained eyes. "Do you know what you've done wrong?" She asked like she would have done with Danny as a child.

"Yes, Ma'am." Bane choked out. Jazz heard movement and murmuring behind her. She didn't turn to look.

"What did you do wrong?" She asked. It was important to make sure children correctly understood why they were in trouble after all. There was a long pause as Bane appeared to cast around for the exact right answer as if he feared getting it wrong. A bad habit Danny still uses as well, Jazz thought to herself.

"I tried to hold you hostage," He choked out in a rush, words tumbling over one another as he tried to get them all out. "I scared you coworkers and it was very disrespectful."

So he'd gone for the grab-bag response. It wasn't wrong per sey but it did indicate a past history of abuse. The type of answer given by someone who expected to be harmed or ignored if they gave the "wrong" answer. Danny tended to use that method also and their parents had always been negligent at best.

"And are you going to do it again?" She asked giving him a Look as she did. Bane's eyes widened and he tried to frantically shake his head as much as possible with the pressure on his neck.

"No, Ma'am." He promised fervently.

"Alright then," Jazz said giving him a warm smile. She gestured vaguely towards the guards without turning to look at them. "Kyle here is going to take you to see the nurse and then back to your room then. I'm sure you'll behave for him?"

"Yes, Ma'am. I'll behave." Bane said. Jazz stood slowly asking sure not to put any additional pressure on his neck as she did. Kyle came and stood next to her as the giant of a man slowly pulled himself to his feet then led him away with 5 other guards.

Jazz heaved a sigh. Well, time to find out whether or not she could play all that off as normal, non-Meta human behavior.

[emacrow]

The Phantom of the Abandoned Opera by emacrow/creator

The bats were investigating an old abandoned rundown opera that seemed to come to life, literally rebuild and booming at night that was luring people in, only for them to come out... different.

Tim was the first to sneak in in disguised as a wanderer citizen, seeing how people were grabbing snacks from a snack bar that looked as if it was in the 1880s with snacks ranging from the early 1990s to late 2010s.

Nobody was unable to enter with technology or weapons of any kind, which was the price Tim had to pay, unable to bring his backup backup spy bots.

He got a sample of the oddly popcorn with specks of green coating and a smoothie, which the Snack bar attendant told him it was Phantom Special tonight.

He follows the group to a mass audience seat. The audience room that was once rundown with barely anything in it beside broken nails and missing chairs in the daytime were filled with thousands of vintage chairs with red plush seating and cup holder, each with names on them.

What scared him was a seat was his real name on it.

Sitting down as stiff as he ever felt, the opera stage that used to be a mass hole in the center with no curtain was at all renewed as red curtain pulled open, the center play that was a very very tall man with a half mask wearing a handsome old fashion style royal costume with long hair that defies gravity in a stage full of moving stars and planets as the background.

The man began to sing, and Tim was completely enchanted.