#Idk why I even wrote this down but it sounded like a good plot

[m0llygunn]

The Blackout (eddie munson x fem!reader one-shot)

Summary: A state wide power outage during the hottest days of the year leave you and eddie getting on each others nerves with only one way to work it out...

Warnings: 18+! smut, mature language, pet names (baby, sweetheart), oral (f receiving), p in v sex (no protection), creampie, sweaty sex, porn with plot, both eddie and reader are kind of mean to each other, no y/n. Author’s note: its summer and way too hot out so i wrote this idk wc: 3.3k

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹

“Its so fucking hot.” He groans.

“Eddie, if I can’t say I’m bored you can’t say you’re hot.” 

I didn’t say I was hot, I said it was hot.” Eddie snaps, heat driving him to agitation.

“Go for a fucking walk then, I don’t know what to tell you.” You snap back.

The power’s been out for three days, with the outage reaching across most of the state. 

Three whole fucking days during a record breakingly hot summer. 

With the power being out, that means no A/C, no TV, no phone, no radio, no nothing. They’re calling it ‘The Blackout’ by what you gathered from neighbours. It is truly a moment of history that you’re sharing with Eddie, and it’s been fucking miserable. 

“Jesus Christ.” Eddie groans, standing from the opposite end of the couch. “It’s just as fucking hot out there, why would you even think a walk would be a good idea?” 

“Stop being pissy.” You warn. 

He shoots you a glare before pulling his shirt off over his head. Why he even bothered putting a shirt on after his shower, escapes you. The only thing that has kept you both from completely withering away in the stifling, suffocating heat has been taking showers. The only downside of it is that the water heater obviously uses electricity so the water is uncomfortably cold. 

You watch as he crosses to the kitchen.

“Do you think the milk would still be good?” He asks, hand on the fridge door, looking in your direction.

“Why would I know?” You reply snarkily, still mad over him snapping at you. 

“Holy shit, it was just a question.” He groans. “Fuck— and you think I’m being pissy.” He mumbles under his breath as he quickly opens the fridge, grabbing the milk and shutting it just as fast to try and preserve some of the cold air inside. 

“I heard that.” You yell back.

“You were supposed to.” He retorts. You watch him as he sniffs the milk, nose scrunching in response.

“It’s bad?” You ask.

He doesn’t respond, he just starts dumping it down the sink, slamming the empty carton down onto the counter.

It’s been so hot you both haven’t had the energy to do anything besides argue. The first day you both thought it was semi-interesting seeing everything out of power and watching people gathering outside to excitedly chatter about it, but as the remaining cold air from the air conditioner turned hot, it wasn’t fun anymore. Then the bickering started. 

You continue watching him as he opens the fridge again, this time grabbing a beer, and quickly closing the fridge like last time. 

He cracks the can and you can tell from the scowl on his face as he takes a sip that it’s warm. 

“It’s warm?” You ask, purely just to annoy him. You have to admit, his pissy mood is helping with your boredom, he’s serving as quite the entertainment. 

You watch as he slams the can down on the counter.

“Are you being annoying on purpose?” He asks, brows pinched, eyes narrowed in on you.

“Are you being annoying on purpose?” You mock, pitching your voice up into a nasally tone. 

“Fucking stop it.” He scolds, brows pinching even more harshly. 

“Fucking stop it.” You mock quietly, turning in your seat on the couch to face away from Eddie.

You hear what sounds like him gulping the beer before heavy stomps heading straight for you.

“You’re pissing me off on purpose?” He asks. 

Out of your periphery you can see him standing beside you, arms crossed over his chest.

“I’m not doing anything.” 

“You are.”

The corners of your lips tug up and as much as you try to stop it, you can’t.

“Do you think this is funny?” Eddie asks bewilderedly, not even the slightest bit amused by you. 

“I don’t think anything about this is funny, Eddie.” You reply, your smile maturing into a smirk.

Eddie huffs, moving to sit back down beside you on the couch, making sure to sit as far away from you as possible. He exhales a deep sigh and you can tell he’s pissed by the way his jaw repeatedly clenches. 

You slowly shift so your feet are up on the couch. Eddie's eyes are set forward, ignoring you on purpose.

Inch by inch you stretch your legs out until your toes are poking him in the side. He doesn’t react so you wiggle your toes, digging them in harder. 

Without even sparing you a look, he grabs both of your feet pulling them on his lap, holding them tightly so they can’t move. 

“Eddie, let go.” You whine as you try to escape the grips he has around your ankles. He ignores you.

You have two choices. You could lay here quietly or you could make things exponentially worse. 

Exponentially worse sounds more entertaining.

You huff a breath and notice the way Eddie’s jaw clenches right after. You sigh, and he does it again. 

You breathe comically loud and you swear you see his eye twitch.

One more sigh and you’re sure he’ll break his little silent treatment, so you let out a soft breathy sigh.

Nothing. Not even a jaw clench this time. You’re positive he’s just trying his best to ignore you now but you know two little words that have driven him up the wall for the last three days. 

“Eddie, I’m bored.” You whine, and sure enough he breaks. His head turns in your direction, eyes burning into you. 

You think he’s gonna say something but instead he pulls you by the feet, grabbing your arm so you’re practically sitting in his lap.

“You’re bored?” He coos, taunting you. He pulls at your limbs, getting you to straddle his hips, your hands landing on his bare chest. 

“Don’t.” You warn, despite your increased heart rate at getting the exact response you were looking for. 

“Aw but my baby’s bored, doesn’t she just want a little attention?” He continues his taunting, looking at you with a faux concern. 

“You’re all sweaty.” You say, feeling his sticky skin under your fingertips.

“Baby, it’s cause you got me all worked up now. Pissing me off on purpose just for a quick laugh, right?” He says, pulling you closer to him with his hands on your hips. “What wrong, sweetheart? Where’s that smile from earlier? Seems to have disappeared now that you got what you wanted.” He teases.

“Wasn’t trying to piss you off.” You huff. 

“Baby, you got what you wanted didn’t you? No use in lying.” He proceeds with his taunt. 

“M’not lying.” You whisper, watching your fingers as you skate them down his sweat slicked chest. When he sternly says your name you look up at him.

“Baby, there’s no way you just said all that stuff without purposefully saying it to annoy me.” He says, cutting out all the coos, teasing, and taunting.

“Oh, so you think I’m annoying?” You say, raising your brows at him. 

“Oh my god.” Eddie groans, throwing his head back against the couch in defeat. 

You watch him as his brows pinch and his eyes squeeze shut to try and calm himself. You're about to speak again to scold him, but his hips shift below yours, his hard length pressed between your thighs.  

“Oh my god.” You gasp. “You’re hard?” 

His eyes shoot open, glaring at you for pointing it out so flagrantly. You didn’t think he was getting this worked up. Truthfully you were just doing this for a quick laugh, not a quick fuck. 

“What did you think I was doing?” He asks, hands squeezing your hips, eyes still burning into you. Evidently you both were on separate pages but feeling his length still pressing into you, you're quickly switching over to the same wavelength as Eddie, but not without a little more entertainment. 

“Accusing me of being annoying and a liar.” You shrill, tilting your head at him. 

“Oh my god, you need to stop talking.” He says, hands pulling you by the cheeks towards his face. He presses his lips to yours and only then you process what he just said.

“Don’t tell me to stop talking.” You say, pulling away from the kiss. 

“Shhh.” He hushes, pulling you back in, his lips pressing back to yours

“Don’t tell me to shush.” You say, pulling back once more. 

Eddie groans, head falling forward to rest against your chest.

After a few deep breaths he pulls away. When he looks at you again, you can tell he’s still annoyed but he’s trying to relax his features.

“Do you want to fuck or not?” He asks, purposefully softening his voice. 

“Ever the romantic.” You scoff.

“Baby.” He says, starting to reduce to a whine.

You find both amusement and pity in him, opting to grind your hips against his. His hands fall to your sides again, guiding you against him. 

“So is that a yes?” He asks, mouth falling open as you pass over his length. 

“You told me to stop talking.” You reply, smile tugging on your lips. You spread your thighs further, dropping your weight onto his crotch and he gasps, chasing it with a deep exhale.

“Talk, don’t talk, I don’t care, just keep doing that.” He grunts, lifting his hips enough to meet yours. 

“Don’t be fucking rude.” You say, lifting your hips from his. When you watch his face, his annoyance falls into desperation and defeat as he attempts to chase after you with his hips before deflating into the couch with a ‘humph’.

"Fuck, please, baby.” He groans, pinching your skin between his fingers with his harsh grip on your thighs. 

“Say you’re sorry.” You demand, hips still lifted from him. 

“I’m sorry baby, let me show you how sorry I am.” He whines, bringing his face to sit against your chest, pressing kisses into your skin wherever he can reach. 

“Fine.” You reply, smiling to yourself as you place both palms flat on his chest to guide yourself as you resume your grinding. 

He lets you continue the glide of your hips against him for a moment before his hands rise to your waist, lifting you up and peeling himself from the couch. 

He flips you, sitting you back against the couch while sinking to his knees on the floor in front of you. 

“C’mon baby, let’s get these off.” He says lowly, fingers tangling in the lace of your panties under your oversized shirt. You lift your hips and he quickly pulls them off, throwing them beside him. 

He grabs your hips again, pulling you to the edge of the couch, immediately connecting his mouth to your cunt. 

You whimper as his tongue licks up your slit, swirling around your clit. He’s quick to introduce his fingers, plunging two inside of you, bringing them in and out at a pace he knows you like. 

“Look at you, all quiet and happy now.” Eddie laughs. You look down at him between your legs and his eyes are focused on you, pupils blown wide and sparkling in amusement as his skin glistens in a sheer sweat. 

You don’t respond to him, you just watch with a slack jaw as his mouth works against you, fingers massaging that sweet spot inside, drawing all sorts of whimpers and moans from your lungs. 

Your pleasure keeps building and building, tension becoming a hot blur inside of you until Eddie’s mouth stops completely. A whined cry escapes your lips as the crescendo of your high is pulled from you. 

“How do you have me showing you that I’m sorry? You’re the one who was purposefully pissing me off.” Eddie questions, brows furrowed. It’s not a sly tease or a playful trick of the moment, it’s a genuine realization that’s just come to him. 

“Eddie.” You whine. 

“No, seriously. You’re the one who started this, why am I sorry?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You groan. 

“No.” He retorts, brows pinched. You sink your weight into the couch, exhaling through your nose before looking back at Eddie. 

“Eddie, I was so close to coming.” You whine, bringing your hands to his face to push his sweaty bangs back, trying to will him to continue.

“Say sorry then.” He says firmly, ignoring your hands on his face.

“Eddie.” You whine again. He raises his eyebrows at you expectantly and you sigh harshly bring your arms to your chest, folding them in a pout. “Do you want me to give you a blow job, is that what this is about?” He blinks at you slowly before opening his mouth. 

“I want you to say sorry.” He pushes, refusing to be distracted by your offer. 

“Sorry.” You mumble, annoyed that he’s really making you apologize mid fuck. 

“What was that, couldn’t quite hear you.” He says, smile ghosting over his lips as he turns his ear to you, cupping it with his hand.

“I said sorry.” You snap. His smile turns into a dimpled grin as his eyes bleed pure amusement. 

“Get down here.” He laughs, pulling you down the couch further, wrapping his arms around your back and maneuvering you to the floor.

“Eddie!” You shriek as your body hits the floor, his hands guiding you downwards. You’re greeted with a coolness against your back that feels refreshing against your boiling hot skin. 

“It’s cooler down here.” He says, lowering his face to kiss at your shirt clad chest before his hands grab at the hem. You sit up enough for him to raise the shirt over your head, tossing it to the side, leaving you bare on the floor in front of him. 

He sits up, unbuckling his pants, tugging them down.

“Gonna fuck you right here on the floor, baby.” He mumbles, fumbling distractedly with his pants that stick to his sweaty skin. It takes him a while, but when they're finally off, boxers removed with them, he wastes no time running his fist up and down his length before bringing it to your core. 

“Ready, baby?” 

“I was ready about 5 minutes ago before you started fighting with your pant—” You sneer before Eddie pushes into you, interrupting your snarky comment by punching all the air from your lungs. 

“Baby, you really gotta quit that attitude, it’s too fucking hot in here for that.” He grunts, punctuating every other word with thrusts into you.

The stretch of him filling you up and the force behind each jut of his hips leaves your head spinning. 

“Eddie.” You moan, feeling your lost pleasure resurface quickly, tension already building in your lower belly.

Your heavy breathing gets buried under the echoes of sticky skin slapping together with each of Eddie's pistoling movements. His plunging thrusts working his cock deep inside of you, the adrenaline of your non-stop arguing working as fuel for him fervently fucking you. 

Reaching your arms up to him, you bring your hands to his back, grasping for purchase against his sweaty skin, resorting to using your nails to keep you tethered to him as he fucks you into the carpeted floor. 

“You like that, baby? Just wanted me to fuck you, huh? Getting me all pissed off so I can give it to you nice and hard.” He grunts, one of his hands releasing the tight squeeze on your thighs to graze over your chest, the heat of his hand searing your skin, leaving you tingling under the trail of his touch.

“Mhmm” You moan, agreeing mindlessly, lost in pleasure. You look up at Eddie, his brows furrowed in pleasure, mouth dropped agape, hair stuck to his face and you feel a burst of adoration for him. 

“Eddie.” You whine, using your grip on him to pull him down. “Kiss.” You add, and he lowers to you immediately. His lips meet yours, both of you working your lips together in a salty kiss tainted by the mixing sweat of your upper lips. He continues thrusting into you, the new position as he licks into your mouth offering an added friction to your clit with each plunge making you gasp and moan into his mouth. 

“Fuck.” He groans. “Feels so good, baby.” His kisses stop but he doesn’t let his lips leave you entirely, breathing his words into your mouth. 

The sweltering hot knot in your belly grows impossibly tight, each thrust of his hips reaching deeper inside of you while his hot breath funnels directly into your mouth leaving you absolutely dizzy.

“G-gonna cum, Eddie.” You stutter, lower belly tensing so harshly your breathing only comes in harsh pants.

“Cum for me, baby. Need to feel you cum.” He groans.

You let go, body vibrating, and in the heat of the house it feels like everything inside of you is boiling over in an orgasmic haze. Your skin prickles, as Eddie’s thrusting grows more erratic.

You grip harshly against his skin, fingers slipping and nails digging in harder with every final thrust bringing you through your searing high. 

“Fuck. Fuck, squeezing me so hard, baby.” He whimpers, hips meeting yours as he pushes deeply inside of you, balls tensing and cock twitching as he fills you up with the warm milkiness of his cum. He thrusts in and out of you, hips stuttering as he rides through his high before collapsing on top of you. 

His chest pushes against yours with every gasp of air as he catches his breath and you slowly but surely come back to reality. Reality— which is an absolutely sweltering hot, sweaty man on top of you. 

“You’re so sweaty.” You whisper, feeling the stickiness of his face press against your cheek, his hair sticking all over his face and your face. He laughs, the hot air of his breath fanning over the dripping sweat on your neck. 

“You too.” He says, pushing himself up with his arms to look at you. With drips of sweat beading down his temples, bangs sticking in all different directions, every hint of annoyance is gone from his eyes, leaving behind a hazy contentment mixed with adoration. 

“I think you gave me carpet burn.” You say, smiling despite the stinging burn on your back that you only notice now as he shifts on top of you, relieving you of his weight. 

“I think you drew blood.” He laughs, mirroring your smile. He sits up on his knees, pulling out from you with a mirrored gasp between the two of you. 

On his knees, he twists his upper body showing you the angry red lines you drew on his back with your nails. You gasp and he turns back around, looking at you with a knowing smile. 

“Here, sit up, baby.” He says, holding his arms out for you. You take them and he tugs you up, peering behind you at your back.

“Yup, s’all red.” He laughs. 

“Shower?” You say, pulling yourself closer to him. He pulls you up from the floor, slippery grip making you slide from him until he boosts you up, reclaiming a firm grip on your ass. 

“Fuck yeah, we need a shower.” He breathes as he walks you to the bathroom, kicking the door open. 

You and Eddie spent the next few hours sitting in the tub finding salvation from the muggy heat in the freezing cold water that runs from the tap. It was an uncomfortable fit in the small tub but with your knees pressed to your chest, your back to his front, and one of his calves hanging over the ledge, you both sat together, chattering quietly until you both were pruny and ready to get out. 

By the late evening, you were on better terms, arguing reduced to nothing but a playful teasing lilt.

Just as you both started to get ready for bed, the lights turned back on along with the beautiful melody of the air conditioner vibrating from the window. 

The room cooled down drastically, leaving you both happy and allowing for you to cuddle in bed, completely sweat free.

As soon as your heads hit your pillows, with your bodies relaxing into each other as you nodded off to sleep, everything that transpired in the heated power outage reduced to a moment of the past that you two will grow to laugh at over time. 

You did gather one thing though, getting Eddie riled up before sex is extremely entertaining. 

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹

[spider-bren]

Shot in the mouth | Clement Mansell x Male Reader

Pairing: Clement Mansell x Male Reader

Tags/Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, Gun Play, Cumming on hands, Hand jobs, Gun in mouth, Licking cum off fingers

Summary: Clement enticed you by playing with his gun. He asks to play a game with you which you can't resist.

Author's Notes: Bro I got possessed so idk myself with this prompt. @bawdabaw asked for Clem x M!reader and I just kinda got the brainrot. God, if you have me the chance I'd write 25k for this man. I NEED him. I could write entire plots for reader/oc x clem. But this is the first I wrote for him and I had to cut it short bc I didn't expect to write this much. It's more than I usually write for prompts that's for sure. Might turn into a full fic if you'd let me lmao enjoy!! :)

Clement sat cross legged on the couch flipping through the news channels. He was still in just his underwear, a gun placed loosely in his hand resting on his bare thigh. You eyed the gun as Clement lazily brought it against his underwear and absently rubbed it there. It wasn't meant to arouse surely, but you felt it flare heat into your gut all the same. The end of the gun massaged his apparently itchy balls and you tried extremely hard not to want to drop to your knees to fix the problem Clement was having. 

You could remember it so well. The weight of Clement heavy on your tongue. The pulse and throb as Clement dragged his cock in and out of your mouth. You enjoyed the ache in your jaw and the way the head of his cock scraped the back of your throat. You loved it–got hard for it. You wanted Clement to bruise your insides. You wanted to choke until you passed out. Wanted Clement to rip into your hair so hard it pulled at the roots as you swallowed down. Desperate to hear him moan how good you were and how you were his beautiful boy. 

Clement liked rough play. He liked to play and tease you all day. He arrived at your work unannounced and complimented you, sprewing charm until you ducked into the bathroom to fuck you agaisnt the cubible door. You didn't mind too much about his reputation. The darker side of Clement enticed you all the same. Whether he had killed with the gun currently in his hand didn't matter. All that mattered was that he had you. Right here and now. 

"You staring, baby?" He drawled. He lifted up the gun pretending to shoot you. He made a sound like a gun going off and then twirled it like a seasoned cowboy. "Why don't you come over here?" 

You shakily walked to sit on the couch next to him. Anticipation flooded heat into you, your cock already getting hard again. Not two hours ago he had fucked you in all positions on the bed. Now you needed him again. Was even ready to beg for it. He circled his arm around you on the back of the couch. His scent was intoxicating, sweat and cologne mingled together. You couldn't help yourself from kissing his neck. You licked a strip down his neck to his gleaming collarbones. He hummed appreciatively. 

"What do you wanna do?" He asked. "You wanna play a game?" 

You nodded. "Yeah. Let's do that. What type of game?" 

"I will use my gun to trail down your body and you have to try not to make a sound. Alright?" 

You agreed, head dizzy. Clement used the barrel of the gun to run down your bare shoulders. You were just in a pair of plain shorts, your chest exposed for him to play with. He ran the flat of the gun over your collarbones making you shiver. The metal was cool on your heated skin. The blue of his eyes were intense as he tracked every little response to him. 

He dropped further down your body over your pectoral muscles and pressed the tip end of the gun over your already pebbled nipples. You gasped, hating how you were so sensitive. He pulled his mouth into a smirk, his eyes ablaze. 

"Didn't know you were interested in this?" He remarked, moving towards your stomach now. He pushed the gun over the patch of the hairs that littered your abdomen. It tickled but felt incredibly erotic. 

"I'm not," you said back. "I just…I dunno. I like it when you do this." 

"I can tell," he teased, eyeing the bulge in your pants. 

The end of the gun dipped into your shorts, running along the band of it. You gasped. Your hips automatically sought more and lifted up. He laughed at you. 

"My little boy is all worked up." He tsked. "All for me and this here gun." He pulled the gun out from your pants and placed it straight over your dick, massaging and rubbing. "I want you to rut against the gun and get yourself off like the little whore you are." 

A moan slipped past your lips. "Bu–but–" 

"Ah, ah. Do it. You know you want to. How about you take your shorts off. I wanna see how wet you are." 

You obediently did as he asked, impossible not to. This was Clement Mansell. He always got what he wanted in the end. 

You peeled off your sticky shorts and saw how you had messed in your underwear. Your underwear was nearly soaked through. A large wet patch was there in the front. Clement pressed the barrel over your underwear, putting pressure right on the head that was leaking profusely now. You shuddered all over. Your hips rolled on their own accord up into his hand which held the gun firmly in place. 

"Such a good boy doing this filthy deed with me. What would your co-workers say? Do they know how slutty you are?" You whimpered. "Don't worry, baby. Clement's got you." 

Clement switched hands. The hand holding the gun was suddenly pushing open your mouth, sliding onto your tongue. You bit down on metal and swallowed around the barrel. His other hand massaged your cock, your cum messing all over him. You moaned and arched off the couch. 

"Sshhh," he hushed. "I did say you shouldn't make a sound." 

You never thought having a gun in your mouth was arousing but Clement proved a lot of things were hot as long as he was the one doing it. You could barely focus, eyes shut and body spasming. It was the hottest thing you ever experienced. His hand was perfect on you. It slipped inside and circled your cock, stroking it as he coaxed you to climax with his words. Drool dribbled down your chin as he kept the gun inside your mouth. 

"There you go. Cum for me." 

You tried hard not to choke on the gun as you came in white hot ribbons into Clement's hand. He pulled the gun from mouth, wiping it on his leg. His fingers were wet and gleamed with your cum. He smiled and cooed at you to lick his fingers clean. You sucked his fingers into your mouth, licking all of your spunk off of him. He praised you for doing a good job then turned back to watching the TV. 

[openphrase123]

i realize this may not be the best time to ask because of the last post you made, but how do you find the motivation to keep up with so many projects at once? the fact that you can is both inspiring and also very scary and i'm jealous. "average person writes 1 fic in their lifetime" WRONG. ficwriter openphrase123 who writes 3276453287 fics in their lifetime all at once is a statistical outlier and should not be c

oh this answer got long here's a readmore

well first of all. i have a boring dayjob that lets me marinate big ideas on the backburner. i can turn my thinking brain off for 90% of my projects at work. i've been working there for seven years, i can plot fanfiction in my head without taking a single performance hit LOL

second. um. i'm thirty in like four months. that is in NO WAY old, but i have been on this earth long enough to know when i, specifically, cannot execute or follow through an idea. i only pursue projects i know i can reasonably finish without going crazy. i just kind of. know how my brain chemistry works? i have reasonable expectations for myself?? i'm friends with my brain even if it likes to overthink or be anxious or have seizures or go down weird ocd-adjacent thought paths

third, which feeds a lot into the above point. but when you are in your teens and twenties it's going to take you some time to figure out the rhythm of how you work. i like to take a lot of mini breaks in between what i'm doing. this does not work for my girlfriend, who has ADHD and is like "if i take a break i will never recover" so she doesn't do that. brains are all different and you gotta find what works for you

fourth. well. this one might just be me. but the reason i have like 8 concurrent projects is because when i get tired of one, my brain is VERY happy to latch onto another one. no matter what i'm doing, something is getting done?? that's why i was writing 3 fics at once trying to decide which one to do next. and why i couldn't figure it out and had to leave it to a tumblr poll

and, fifth. idk. i don't write fanfiction when i don't want to? if you look at my ao3 account i haven't done it since. like. 2021? and before that the last time i wrote any fanfiction was in like 2013. of which i cannot track down that old accout but i swear it probably exists?

s.sixth??? and this one is going to sound the braggiest. and maybe it is a little bit. i'm good at this? not like. naturally. i wasn't born writing 100k fanfics. but i've been writing fiction for like. most of my life. i wrote a lot of awful stupid shit before i started writing good shit. i'm not falling asleep at the wheel or anything but after you're making art for enough time, it more easily falls into place. after doing it for so long you develop an intuition for the kinds of projects you will be sufficiently motivated for. i don't know how to describe this without sounding like a pretentious asshole. maybe i can allow myself to be for like five minutes. i've earned it

i hope that helped??? my brain kind of just. does stuff. i've trained it over the years to do stuff in the direction that makes me happy!! i wish my brain would let me go clean my bathroom instead but eh. tradeoffs?

[thegeminisage]

IT IS. star trek update time. last night we did ds9's "the muse" and voy's "the thaw."

the muse (ds9):

the a-plot of this was so fucking stupid. WHY is it always jake and older women...can we please cut him a fucking break...

also, the mysticism around writing. "i can show you exercises and techniques" "you have so many ideas it all seems too big to you right now" come on. the only exercise and technique she needed to show him was how to fucking outline. it's not MAGIC you don't get divinely graced with the ability to write a book you just sit down and do one little bit at a time. i cannot believe writers wrote this. insufferable. they sound like george rr martin i hope he is having a bad day wherever he is

jake and sisko at the end were so cute though...sisko my beloved...

the b plot.............................................

here's the thing. while i have reversed my stance on lwaxana troi, who got much better in her final few episodes (was this the last one or do we have one more...?), i don't want odo/lwaxana to be better than odo/kira and the odo/lwaxana was REALLY GOOD. and ik some people really didn't like the way odo/kira wound up happening in canon so even though idk what happens yet NOBODY TELL ME i am bracing for it to be bad and to love it unconditionally anyway. so that was a huge struggle for me

odo in his little shapeshifter playground feeding off of lwaxana's giddiness...i wish deanna had been able to do the reverse-empath thing on tng, it would have been so much fun

ALSO i cant believe he finally got his first little smooch!!!! GOOD FOR HIM

the thaw (voy)

sigh. so apparently a lot of people really like this episode but i...hated it. one of the worst voy episodes to date actually

whatever this episode THINKS it's saying about fear is lost under the set dressing. and the set dressing IS really cool - i like the wacky practical effects and bright colors. it reminds me a lot of tos. in fact, this whole episode could have been a tos episode, but it would have been one of those tos episodes that makes the top 10 worst ranking or whatever

the problem is the Randumb XD Humor...it's like q, like the squire of gothos. it just doesn't hit for me and never will. like, the actors were good at what they did, the costumes looked great, the set was funky, even the background music really fucked, but things being Randumb XD is just too dated for me. i don't mind star trek being dated most of the time but this is where i draw the line. maybe i'd like it better if i gave it another shot, but i probably will not be doing that

i think janeway called it in, with her acting. like everyone's like damn she ACTED no girl she did a lot of dramatic whispering. and who can blame her. the script was all over the place

i just think if you're trying to terrify people you could do better than the circus theme. yeah, clowns bad, but even tng had that spooky morgue thing happening

also, lost opportunity: if this clown guy can kill people by scaring them to death ie making them live the experience of getting their heads chopped off virtually which gives them a heart attack in real life then why not write tuvok, local expert at conquering fear, into this episode? you could have cut off tuvok's head and he wouldn't have died of fright. it would have been perfect for the metaphor

the ending to this episode would have fucked a lot more if the rest of it hadn't sucked so bad. janeway's murder walk was REALLY good. it's also something kirk would have done, if they'd had the holodeck in tos, and thank GOD they didn't

but yeah, the solution of fear needing conquering and wanting to be conquered just doesn't hit when most of the script...didn't really talk about fear, it was just wilding out

TONIGHT: ds9's "for the cause" and voy's "tuvix"...okay, wait, i'm just now looking at these episode titles. everyone on reddit is always so mad about janeway killing a guy named tuvix but i thought i got it mixed up with tuvOK. like i literally thought she killed tuvok and everybody was like dw about it she doesn't kill tuvok so who tf is tuvix...is this a clone thing or something? like black shirt green shirt tuvok?? please let it be a clone thing

[merlyn-bane]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

Thanks for the tag, @frostbitebakery !!🥰🥰🥰

1.) How many works do you have on ao3

35, but that also includes some of pyro's that I'm listed as co on because I helped with so much of the plotting out and behind the scenes stuff

2.) What's your ao3 word count?

336,631

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

Right now primarily Star Wars bc that's where my brainrot is, but I've been known to play around in a few other sandboxes. There are a few Star Trek fics on my AO3 as well, and there's a multifandom xreader sideblog floating around somewhere that I am not going to tag because I consider it a Different Era and not reflective of the work I'm doing now. Even though I'm STILL getting notes on a Wolverine smut fic I posted all the way back in 2018.

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Foelu

SubObi Week Day Five

SubObi Week Day One

SubObi Week Day Four

SubObi Week Day Six

(Foelu is leading by A Margin in basically everything but hits now, it's insane)

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! And I'm usually pretty good at it. Sometimes I'm really not sure what to say and sometimes I get kind of overwhelmed so not always, but I do try. I'm super behind on Foelu atm bc you all continue to just blow me away with the support on that one, but I promise I'm planning to sit down and try to get caught up soon.

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Angsty endings aren't super my thing, to be honest. Most of the things I've actually finished have happy endings, just because that's my personal preference. Most of my angst is in the middle, and I'd say probably the angstiest fic I have (at least right now) is Traveling Song. Ari has...been through it. It used to be a whole lot worse before the first rewrite happened though.

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Idk, maybe the Obi-Wan Omegaverse series I did for SubObi Week?

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet, here's to hoping that doesn't change anytime soon.

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Oh, yes. All sorts of it 😈😈

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Crossovers have never super been my thing, so no, not really.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that know of, again, hoping it stays that way.

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet, I think, but I have had one or two podfic'ed!

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I'm listed as a co-author on @pyromanicdaydreamer 's The Moments In Between since I helped with so much of the development for it (what can I say, I'm an ideas guy if I'm anything), but I've never really co-written anything, as far as the actual words and stuff.

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

I'm mentally ill about Codywan in a way I've never really been before or since, to be honest. They're my special little guys. Also, though, Octavious and Jedidiah from Night At The Museum, Obviously.

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Oh, so many.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

I think the most consistent feedback I've gotten is that my character work and humor are good, which does just make me feel real nice because characterization is something I worry about.

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

I am a total slave to the muse, my WIP graveyard is sprawling. I do think I could stand to be a little more descriptive at times, and I'm never going to claim that an English teacher wouldn't cry at some of my grammar. I'm a lot more concerned with how things sound than if they're technically correct.

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

It's one of those things that's dependent on the characters, but when appropriate I do think it can add more depth. It also just makes sense for some characters--for example, you can be on either side of the clones-being-Mandalorian debate, but picking up another language from the trainers that the Kaminoans and likely their future generals don't know could only be in their best interest strategically.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

Marvel I think. Pyro and I wrote a bunch of OC stuff in the 2012 era, and I think one of my very first ones was a Thor x OC that might even still be on ff.net.

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

Oh fuck. Uh. C'mon, man, this is like asking me to choose a favorite child. Shit. Um. I don't know if it's my favorite, but They Told Me I Couldn't Bag A Jedi was a lot of fucking fun to work on.

I think I'm gonna tag @ferretrade @goddammitjim @shootingstarpilot @bluemaskedkarma @brigittttoo

[livvyofthelake]

fuckass book u say… what goes on…

hii abby i don’t even think you’ve been here to know what book i’m even talking about so i’m imagining you seeing that vague ass post and being like hm wonder what book beth read… only for me to tell you it was just call me by your name, known movie nobody on tumblr likes other than me <3 and i understand that no one here likes timmy due to the overexposure or whatever but you’re all really missing out because he really is that good. sorry i know this is the hates popular opinions website but sometimes an opinion is popular because it’s just right idk man….

ANYWAY. so we loved the book… well ok loved is a strong word. we had a fun yet tense time with the book… as we all know i like the movie a lot (clearly enough to put it in the timeless video twice never forget… and i stand by it i’d do it again and more) anyway so i am a big supporter of not getting to have real concrete opinions on things you haven’t seen/read/heard whatever. so my ass READ the text!!!! and i’m going to get into the adaptation process with helena’s ask later which none of you have seen but like. well it’s in my inbox and i’m going to talk so much about it i <3 discussing the adaptation process! i digress. the book was really good elio is SUCH a fucking freak to read about i adored him… he is literally like if nick carroway was alina starkov. he is utterly insufferable and also obsessed with that man. but in a way that is so teenage girl bipolar… the entire beginning he’s like UGH oliver is the WORST man on planet earth and he HATES me and i HATE him and somehow i’m still HORNY about it but he’s AWFUL and MEAN. and then he’s like oh wait actually i realized he’s just shy lol omg he’s just like meeeeeee fr!!!! it was crazy. And he really had me there for a minute i was like damn oliver sounds like he sucks remind me why this is a love story?…. i was like andré what are we doing… of course ultimately what he was doing was taking the reader into the character’s mind so we could experience the worst of what elio felt as well as the best. which was crazyyyyy you had to be there!! not that i’m recommending this book. well maybe i am. idk it’s hard to say. abby you’d probably like it actually i think you’d respect elio’s ever present horniness and loser energy about it. that was meant to sound friendly and loving i didn’t mean to insinuate that you’re a horny loser… but well i mean. um love you 😁🩷

i think overall i liked the writing and the only major things against it are that well. andré is still a man and as we know i rarely fuck with male authors. feels like every time i give a man a chance he lets me down and frankly. it happened again :/ must every fictional character going through a sexuality crisis get misogynistic with it? to be fair it wasn’t THAT bad i just didn’t like what he was doing with the female characters. it felt very like. you know how men just don’t see women as human beings? yeah. which is crazy because i looked it up and andré aciman has a wife. girl you HAVE to leave him i’m sorry but you need to there’s no way he’s the best you could do dear god… i understand that an author making certain characters less in a narrative doesn’t necessarily reflect how they feel about an entire group of people in real life. but i mean. i fear i just have very little faith in men. ALSO he wrote a sequel to this book. which first of all, call me by your name was published in 2007. and it’s sequel wasn’t even planned to be written until 2018. you’ll note that the film came out in 2017. capitalist ass…. anyway i read the plot summary of the sequel and it gave very Hates Women so. i’m sticking with what i feel. it also gave fanfiction a little ngl. it also made me hate elio’s dad more than i already did, which has always been a fair amount. but we mustn’t get into all that we don’t have the time. btw you’re not supposed to hate elio’s dad he’s supposed to be the jennifer garner love simon of this story. but i don’t like him and i never have even in the movie… but i do like him a bit more in the movie i’m mostly ambivalent about him in there but in the book i really didn’t care for him much. it’s not really hate so much as just dislike. but it’s enough to be worth noting!!

but i think the strongest thing about the book that really made it good was that it wasn’t so much a “love story” as it was one character’s reflection on intimacy in his life. a narrative being a Romance sort of posits that there are two characters of equal importance, but this is really just elio’s narrative and oliver exists only as an extension of elio. especially when you consider that the core part of their dynamic is that they’re so similar the edges between them blur. in a way you could read it entirely as a story about self respect and self love

but i digress. very jumbled ass post but what do you want from me you sent me a vague statement/question…..

[fearandhatred]

Gonna spam your inbox with these get ready :) for the fandom questions 30 & 43 and for the fic writer questions 17 & 24

sonny these questions are HARD

ask game || ask 1

30: what inspires you to write?

everything and nothing ngl ideas come to my head whenever the hell they want which sometimes is very rarely. but One thing i can say for sure inspired me in general was a little life by hanya yanagihara. yeah i will not shut up about this book. i feel like my writing style actually changed so much after reading it and sometimes i just go back to the book and read some random pages for inspiration because i love how hanya writes

43: is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?

not in particular actually... i do admire the creators in this fandom in general and i've read very very good works (yours included btw!!), but there's no one particular person that is inspiring in the sense that my work reflects something that i've taken away from theirs like i explained in the previous question. but there are moments where i read a fic or a comment and i feel a burst of motivation to write lol

17: if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

alas i am not one of those people who have been writing since young for some reason, even though i have historically enjoyed writing compositions and fiction assignments for school. i didn't even think i could write and a year ago i would NEVER have thought i could write a multi-chaptered fic. idk if it's because i got more time/motivation after i graduated from high school but that's only when i really started getting ideas and inspiration after reading or watching something. so advice for my younger self would be uhhh:

just Write. sometimes i'll think i don't have an idea or i won't be able to write a scene in the way i want, but once i actually start it just happens naturally!! like half the metaphors i come up with are just me saying shit i made up on the spot and sometimes it makes sense

write down anything you come up with even if it's just a word or a setting. i have certain phrases in my good omens fics that i pulled from random lines i wrote down like three years ago because i liked how they sounded. and other times i look back at my notes from a week ago and i have no idea what i meant by it but at least it's funny (once i just wrote "swivel chair" in my notes and to this day i don't remember why)

24: have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

omg i'm so boring but not really LMAOO i think it's because when i come up with fic ideas that i actually want to write, it's mostly about exploring relationships and how relationships and a character's history affects them as people (it's the sociologist in me). so plot isn't really my thing—which is why i never thought i would be able to write multi-chaptered fics because i used to write short reflective pieces. even for transitional heart taxidermy, the plot i came up with was secondary to what i wanted to write about which was crowley and aziraphale's relationship lmao

at most i'll go back and really analyse the source material to make sure i get the facts right. like dialogue and scenes and layouts etc. for the bible fic i... read the bible lol to see diction and pacing and how the verses were formatted. and for blood in my eyes i joined the discord to find a layout of aziraphale's bookshop for Accuracy

[tecchous-thicc-buttocks]

what do you like doing in your free time?

why is your name clenched buttocks (I wanna know the reason, pls its so funny lol)

what are things you're good at? (own it babe) (and i don't mean 'babe' in a weird way - just gotta clear that lol)

do you have a best friend?

do you write OG stories and/or fanfics?

one thing you hate about yourself

one thing you love about yourself

do you want a pet? if so, what pet and why

(pls at this rate, its sounding like an interview, so sorry 😂 i'm just...i have a lot of time in my hands and i decided to do this for no particular reason)

fave type of music?

what made you like bsd? and did you always like it? (cause for me, i didnt like it too much at first but it grew on me the second time around)

have you read the bsd light novels and what's your fave light novel if yes?

any pet peeves?

what's your 'ideal' partner (do you have a type like Kunikida or are you fine with anything as long as you're having fun)

Would you rather be single and rich or taken and with a normal salary?

are you happy with where you work/study?

what's your dream career?

what's the app you use the most?

would you rather draw or write?

*** (P.S just pick the ones you want to answer) **

i think im going to look like a weirdo asking so much questions but whatever. at least we dont know each other HAHA i hope you have a good day. <3 and also i love your analyses. just keep posting what you like. i find some of your posts funny lol

good day.

(# you asked and i delivered) (# just me looking for an excuse to use this line) (# cause you said you wanted more questions in your other post TT) (# also ik this isn't a real tag but i wanna be ✨creative) (# fan behavior? idk anymore lmao) okay bye mwa <3

KHJDKJKSAJDGKJSFKG I LOVE THIS I LOVE YOU I WILL BEGIN ANSWERING NOW

i have no free time. I either overwork myself or sleep. however, assuming that i've got a sliver of time to do something, I swap from one obsession to the next <3 rn it's going for insanely long bike rides and turn down every road I feel like until I'm lost,, and going to the gym like an absolute maniac bc i want my arms to be the size of a regular adult's legs

my username is what i desire in life. it is was I strive to be worthy of. it is beauty and life itself, it is the culmination of the universe's most wonderous accomplishments all squished into two raging enormous, gargantuan muscular earth shattering sea trembling ass cheeks 😩😩 (BUT in all seriousness I chose this bc I felt like having tecchousthiccthighs wasn't quite as pleasant??? eheheh buttocks is a funny word)

MY TALENT IS SAYING ANYTHING THAT CROSSES MY MIND TO STRANGERS i've been on this spree lately where I just straight up call anyone pretty when I run into them and HOLY MOLY PPL ARE SO CUTE ABT IT this is your sign to compliment someone today ✨✨ but nah baby i'm good at everything it's a curse ngl (U CAN CALL ME WTV HUN IT'S OK KJKDJFKJS UR SO ADORABLE WHAT)

no best friend bc i can't do commitment and bully friends that get too close to me 😍😍 BUT i'm gonna tag @bellyjellyfish for being my one and only and somehow not hating me thru my unironic "uwu" phase <33

I wrote a 700 page story when I was 12 and it remains unfinished bc I kept rambling and there was no plot 🕴️I love writing but abandon a whole lot of works bc I dream up the rest of the plot and go "oh well why write it now i've been there done that" I DO WRITE FANFICS 👁️👁️ I have a wp account where i wrote a bunch of awful stories and it still stands to this day! (no i will not disclose it don't even try me grr)

I hate how sexy I am 😭😭😭😩😩😩🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

I love how sexy I am 😳😳😳😳🥶🥶🥶🥶😜😜😜😜

I WANT A TARANTULA I WANT A TARANTULA I WAS A CHILEAN RED KNEE TARANTULA AND I WANT ONE SO BADLY OMFG I've always liked spiders but the ppl I live with would absolutely kick me out if I got one??? once i live on my own i'm def buying two cages so that whenever I have guests, I just put out the empty cage, hide the real one, and be like "oh no what happened to billy my tarantula, he escaped again :(" just to wreak havoc

(HAHA NO IT'S OK I USUALLY DO THIS TO OTHER PPL SO I APPRECIATE U SM LOL SLIDE INTO MY DMS BBG)

fav type of music is classical bc i'm edgy and not like other girls 🤩🤩🤩 something about la campanella just hit so hard when I was like 10 that I have taken it and ran, but I do listen to rnb a lot, never in just one language tho bc sometimes english sucks my d

I liked bsd as soon as I saw ranpo's silhouette in the first episode, I was like "him. I want him 🏃‍♀️" but it was solidified in my head as soon as I saw natsume bc 1) he's hot AF IT'S NOT FAIR I WANT HIM 2) I had been reading his irl works and fell in love, so I started exploring other bsd authors and it introduced me to gogol (i'm so in love with his writing style it's not ok) soooo yeah :)) I started reading bc someone (you know who you are) liked chuuya and I haven't looked back since, tbh it's one of my favs just bc of the characters and their depth

I've read all the light novels I could get my hands on, and I have to say stormbringer FOR THE ONLY, SOLE REASON THAT I AM IN ABSOLUTE LOVE WITH ADAM

pet peeve hmmmm idk??? i'm chill with everything except pickles I hate those mfs, but if I had to chose smth it would be when someone shoves a ship down my throat (it's me i'm bitches go stan satosugu rn)

no ideal partner! I'm aro fyi, but also I feel like I'd be chill with just abt anything?? if u match my energy, we can be partners in chaos and i'll feel understood, and if you don't, I get to learn abt a different kind of lifestyle and get to have someone sane to hold me down (or to corrupt), so either way it's a win. I find culture to be incredibly attractive, speak a language I don't or tell me about a tradition of yours with a wholesome smile and I'd move mountains for you 💖💖 teach me abt something that you're emotionally invested in and an expert, and I'm literally yours <3

haha i don't ever wanna be in a relationship so i'll take being rich,, but honestly it ain't about the money, i'd want to have a normal salary and be taken, but it just ain't my vibe ?? dunno how to explain erm-

dream career is racecar driver YOU TRAVEL ACROSS THE WORLD TO ICONIC DESTINATIONS YOU GET PAID INSANE MONEY AND YOU GO VROOM VROOM VERY FAST WHILE CONSTANTLY ALMOST DYING WHAT ELSE DO I NEED IN LIFE????

app i use most is my local library app bc i'm constantly trying to renew my books that are incredibly close to being overdue 🫡 but nahh i don't use my phone that often it still irks me i'm actually a 60 year old gilf who hates technology and complains abt kids these days

I CAN'T DRAW BUT I ALSO CAN'T WRITE YOU'VE GOT ME AT A DEADLOCK BRO??? if it's which I would rather be GOOD at, i'd say drawing bc imagine thinking abt something and just printing it out on paper??? yall fr got some magical talent omg

WHAT IF WE DO KNOW EACH OTHER THO??? WHAT IF WE'RE ACTUALLY NEIGHBORS??? CHILDHOOD FRIENDS??? YOU NEVER KNOW AND YOU PROBABLY NEVER WILL MUAHAHAHAHA i'm gonna stop now but ty for all your questions and have a wonderful day, darling <33

[blairsanne]

Writing Questions Tag Game:

Thanks for tagging me @residentdormouse ♥

What is your absolute all-time favorite idea you’ve ever had?

Um, so the two favourite ideas of mine are not things I can link you to because the first one, which is a faerie story about (among other characters) the fae prince of Winter, is a story I'm writing (I guess it's on hiatus) with my irl bff and it's not finished or available to the public. I don't know how much I should share tbh, but I love all the characters and the world we've built so much.

The other is just my special daydream OC character whose story I will never actually write because it's a mashup of various fandom lores and very complicated and while fun to daydream doesn't sound fun to write. She's a priestess who gets murdered on the altar of her world's gods by her bff and they revive her to kill him (he was a priest who took the power of the gods and then proceeded to basically demolish the world around him). She does so, but is essentially left alone in her world and becomes a guardian of sorts. Her role is to link herself to one person (anchor) in every one of the worlds/dimensions/realities that the collection of souls her gods watch over reincarnate into. She can call on power from the other realities to protect them from outside threats (basically, if the gods were creator beings, there are destroyer beings who want to devour the souls/realities). She ends up being kind of a tragic character though, since she's stuck between a bunch of "lives" so to speak and beholden to different people in different worlds but never able to settle down and be done. She keeps getting revived by the gods when she dies (with all her memories, instead of reincarnating), and she struggles with grief. Why is this my favourite idea? IDK but I keep thinking about it.

Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you and you still think about sometimes?

Well one time someone on anon complained that I wrote a self-indulgent mary sue oc into my fanfic and asked "who asked for [that]". To which I replied that I did. Because, you know, I write shit for myself first. As a fun hobby. I'm in no way saying that I write anything great, and if you think my writing is cringe, like, okay, you're right? Die mad about it, I guess? Get a life? Idk. I'm just having fun playing pretend with these fictional worlds.

What is your favorite part of being a writer?

Re-reading finished things because I write the type of stories I like to read, so it's really satisfying to get to reread them later. Close second is when someone else likes what I've written, that's pretty cool. ♥

What parts could you take or leave?

The agony of the time between posting something online and that first bit of feedback on it. Now that I actually have people looking at my stuff there's a little bit of like "well I hope at least one person does end up reading and enjoying this" and like... if not then it feels like why bother posting it online? (Honestly I started posting my BWOC fic in 2013 just so my irl bff could read it. I started posting my newer fics on tumblr in 2021 just so I'd move on and finish the missing parts of the story I had been writing... which hasn't worked, in case anyone wondered haha.)

What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

I am constantly coming up with stories in my head. There's something about writing them down and crafting them into something I can read again later that lets me put them down, if that makes sense. Like a brain dump. I don't need to remember just how that scene went or why that was happening in this plot, because it's written down now. I can revisit it later if I like. Or never.

Second-biggest motivation is when I'm writing a fic with someone else in mind, like a request or gift, or for an event, or just something I know that one person in particular will like. In the hopes I contribute something good to their day. (Even if it's smut.)

What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

I've honestly been writing since I was a child, so I wish I could tell you. XD

What I would say to someone new to writing is this: You get better at every skill by doing it. So, if you want to write, you're better off writing a ton of stories, badly at first and reworking, refining, revising, etc. than to wait until you're "good enough" to write the story you want to write. You can always write a version two or twenty-five, months or years later. Done is better than perfect, and shitty-first-drafts are better than forgotten ideas.

What is your favorite story you’ve written TO COMPLETION? Link it if you’d like and can!

Probably Homecoming, a smut-fic for Bofur in the Durin's Garage AU. Mostly because I haven't written most of my stories to completion, but also I love that fic.

What is your favorite out-of-the-box quote?

"If anyone can do it, so can you."

Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

In one of my original fiction stories, one of the characters is an emperor who is basically taking over the world bit by bit, and has zero remorse about it. He believes that nobody can love him (for good reason unrelated to his status/warring) and has decided not to love anyone or anything either. At one point, frustrated with how passive his stolen fiancee is, he orders his brother to strangle her to death in front of him and then gets mad at her when she doesn't fight back (he orders the brother to stop, it was just like... a test?). He's very aggressive and believes that everyone only looks out for themselves, etc. so he does the same. (So her passivity sort of challenges him in a way. It's complicated.) It think it's a very toxic but easy-to-fall into worldview when someone thinks that the world is cruel to them, to decide to be cruel back. That's probably the most controversial mindset of my OCs, but that's sort of the point. Obviously I think he's wrong, and eventually things happen to change him.

If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

She'd probably be confused why we stopped doing forum-RPing and be completely amazed that a single stranger anywhere in the world had read and enjoyed something we wrote all on our own. Honestly I think little me would think I was pretty cool and living the dream. Maybe I should remind myself that more often.

I really value the community in fandom spaces, which I think is why fanfiction is so appealing. We all get to play with the same dolls in different ways and go "ah yes, that's a cool way you played" and learn from each other and grow, and it's all around a shared love of stories. Storytelling is how humans make sense of the world, and community is what makes life feel like it has meaning to me. So this is a pretty cool place to be.

No pressure tags: @laurfilijames @i-did-not-mean-to @i-am-still-bb @silvermoon-scrolls @sotwk @middleearthpixie @sketch-and-write-lover @enchantzz @lordoftherazzles and OPEN TAG to anyone who wants to do it. :)

[keysimash]

Hello!!

I do not want to be bothering or rude, I am just curious if you’ve had time or energy to continue Leave, I still love the story so much and am looking forward to find out how it goes!!

But if not it’s ok, I just hope you have a nice day no matter what!! <3

Short answer , it's not discontinued but idk when I will work on it again. Sorry to be a disappointment

Long answer you probably dont want to read

I hate it. I can't even read it. I like my story, I like the plans I HAVE for the story, I just.... cant read my own writing. And this isn't some kind of compliment fishing either, it's gotten to the point I dont even like getting nice comments about it on my ao3 inbox anymore.

I sit down to work on it and I just... can't. All I can think about is how cringy it sounds ... and how bad it is, etc etc

Logically I know I'm actually a pretty good writer. But all I see when I look at this shit is mistakes.

And I come across in my writing as... way too emotional and earnest? If that makes any sense. I've mentioned I never made a plot outline, that shit is sooo obvious when i read it. And how I changed the plot three or four times. And how I changed the plot every time I got upset.

I used to not give a fuck about appealing to other people when I wrote because I didnt have anyone whose opinion I cared about reading it but now I feel like I have to write it not shittily or I'll disappoint everyone and myself. And I'm not capable of writing it not shittily right now because I would

a) have to build off the disjointed skeleton I've already made that's got plot holes and mischaracterizations

b) start over from scratch

And I can't do it right now! I cant!

I keep thinking about how my best friend told me I shouldn't put vent art on the internet at all. I feel disgusting now almost. Like people that take pics of their cuts and post em. I know shes full of shit but I cant shake the feeling. That it's my fault if I trigger somebody. That by writing anything that isnt a joke or fluff I'm doing something gross and self-masturbatory and harmful. "If you interpret the characters in a way the author didnt want you're just wrong..." that's what she said.. Its kirby and Meta knight and magolor for gods sake. What am I doing trying to make a gritty realistic darkfic... from a kids game.... cringe.... (only me tho. Nobody else counts)

Even my other works for other fandoms, it almost feels like they're on a timer as soon as I post them. I go "I like that, that's good" and post, and then a few days later I'm like "oh . That's shit now" and it has nothing to do with engagement or anything, its just like an arbitrary switch flipped in my brain

The only time I was writing well and writing consistently... was when I was being abused... I feel like I've lost my spark ... because maybe the only time I can make anything good is when I'm under so much emotional pressure I feel like I'm about to snap.... but if that were true I should be writing right now haha.

And I can sit here and know all these things, that when I'm stressed my thought process goes all stupid, that I'm actually a good writer, that I'm not hurting anybody by the fic I post, that writing something shit is better than not writing anything at all, but it doesn't do anything to change how I feel.

But. I did say it's not discontinued, didnt I?

If its stressing me out so much well why dont I delete it, well the answer to that is I HATE HATE HATE when authors delete their good shit.... deep down I know a lot of people love my stories and that they have some worth... that's why I haven't deleted them all...

I love writing, still.... writing for cotl feels less bad than kirby cos.. it feels like its expected to be edgy and dark, so I dont feel bad about what I write until later at least... but I still love to write and create....

I just need some time... I miss writing kirby stuff but I just can't face my own writing. I cant face myself. And it order to start writing again -- I think that's my problem. I would have to forgive myself for not being perfect. I would have to admit that , like my writing , its okay to love myself/my writing even with the manymanymany .flaws.

I can't. Not right now. Maybe later tho

I didnt have that last revelation before. Not until I wrote everything out. When I was trying to explain all my feelings to someone else , I ended up explaining it to myself. This post was long overdue anyway

Sorry

[milkandcookies-post]

DAY 2♡

|Pull the trigger|

I wrote this with Verbatim in mind😋

Note

!BTW SPOILER FOR KAEYA LORE!

|This isn’t canon, the lore I kinda wrote is just fully fan made for plot reasons. I barely even understand Kaeya lore so I made it up lol but I did use some aspects of canon lore so beware.|

[M/N] and Aether is reader

[M/N]/Aether uses they/them and masc titles

Character: KAEYA ALBERICH

Angst? Idk but you hold a gun to Kaeya but slight fluff at the end.

-not proof read-🤩

[M/N] didn’t want this.

No no no, this feeling of betrayal and love burns their insides

The darkest kind of love looming up their shoulders.

Hes their husband, their love, their friend.

Yet then why did they hold a gun towards him

Why did he do such things.

“… Mondstadt is your home. So then— why are you turning your back on it?”

[M/N] gulped and sighed, they were never good at confrontation.

Their grip on the gun tightened,  their eyes looming anywhere but their husbands eyes, Kaeya’s eyes.

Yes eyes

His eye patch no longer held on, revealing his beautiful golden eye. They would be gushing over it right now if it wasn’t for the moment right now.

They’ve seen beneath his eyepatch many times, yet this time felt unnerving, nauseating.

“[M/N]…”

Oh how they love the way their name falls off his tongue, they just wanted to throw the gun away and cry into his arms.

His eyes pitiful and sorrow filled

He walked close, only a few centimeters away from the gun

“My dear husband, please. You know I wouldn’t dare do such a thing”

It was a lie

It all was

If he was telling the truth then what were the papers on his desk a yard away from them.

What was he doing with the abyss, with their sister?

Tears filled your eyes, bottom lip trembling

[M/N]’s hands started to shake

This feeling, them holding their husband gun point. Maybe you should’ve listen to Diluc.

“You wont do it”

His voice covered in guilt and shame, those eyes that once looked at them with such love and adoration now filled with plead and sorrow.

“You can’t pull the trigger.”

He loomed closer, the gun only two inches away from his chest, his eyes filled with something but doubt or worry

“You can’t pull it because you love me..”

His eyes softened and that made it harder, harder to stay strong

“It takes a very brave and a very cold person to do that [M/N], I don’t think you can.”

His chest was now touching the gun, [M/N]’s hands trembling so much the gun was visibly shaking.

They knew they could never harm their beloved husband, they loved him too much to ever cause harm to him.

But they were so mad

So mad that he knew about their sister and didn’t tell them

So mad that he dare risk the safety of Mondstadt for some stupid plan that could fail so easily.

“Isn’t that true?”

It was so quite in the room, only the sounds of [M/N]’s and Kaeya’s heartbeats were the only source of sound that could be heard

“Isn’t that why your waiting?..”

A harsh sense of guilt washed over [M/N], nails digging into their palms. Body tensing up with the slight breeze from outside the room

Kaeya’s face no longer filled with warmth and giddyness.

His eyes looked so tired, his shoulders slacked.

He looked nothing like the man they married.

[M/N]’s eyes darted towards the silver banner on his ring finger, they subconsciously ran their thumb over their ring.

Oh the day he placed it onto their finger, with his two hands. Oh how they loved that day, his eyes almost glowed with love and happiness.

This moment was so different from that day.

They unbearably loved him, they were his husband and he was theirs.

Their hold on the gun loosened, the tip leaning down towards their and his feet.

“Thats not true”

Tears escaping from their eyes, face flushing with sorrow and guilt.

Their head leaning down, afraid to face their love.

Kaeyas hands slowly caressing their face, thumb sliding over their cheek. The different type of warmth, his warmth onto their skin was so comforting.

They gently tilted their head, to face his eyes.

Yet they didn’t focus onto his eye, they focused on just his face; avoiding his eyes once again.

“Or is it that you want to watch your victory, you want my heart to constrict with agony”

Him the one to start crying, never once in [M/N]’s life they thought they would ever seen Kaeya cry

Their pupils shrinking in shock, they wanted to say that they could never want something like that for him.

“My hands to shake..”

Kaeya looked away from their sight, his eyes red and puffy like theirs.

He took his hand away from their cheek, only for them to grab it and run their thumb over his knuckles

“You want me to plea for my life so you can make a generous gesture and spare me”

Softly sighing, looked down at their colliding hands.

Their other hand placed onto his shoulders, softly rubbing circles onto his back in a way of comfort.

“Sorry [M/N], I don’t seem to be in the mood for prayer”

[fartibaba-real-saw-jeffeptsien]

watching a movie with my friends and its really hot but its pretty good cuz we gonna get pizza in like half an hour and I am on my computer doing homework but not really cuz I'm on tumblr and we were watching inception but we got bored so we now watching eric andre and then we stopped it to take a break cuz its hot but another friend came with a fan and now its slightly cooler but its still really hot I mean why do some times of the year be hot like omg can we get some air conditioning like come on well anyway tumbler is fun cuz I can do whatever and booba in my dms I wonder if shes single but idk I have negative rizz PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE so we gonna watch bonesaw its a really good movie with lots of plot welp now the tv went into sleep mode and eric andre isn't on anymore wow I really need to do my homework also my mouse sounds like a space blaster and the door to the room is open to try to cool it off but its not working the fan is helping a little tho idk my nicotine tastes good but it makes me sad welp my name is john kramer and I live at 204 negra arroyo lane albequrque new Mexico and yup that's my real address pls come sent pizza cats are really cool I like them they make funny sounds like meow and mrrp and stuff like that dogs are dumb they don't make funny sounds except boof and stuff like that welp actually it got a little cooler for a split second damn tumblr wheres the character limit my god this is taking forever my Grammarly is begging me to stop also my fingers are starting to hurt a little bit more i mean prolly my arthritis i mean like soup that gives you arthritis and stuff like that also there is the beach that makes your dick fall off and start talking to you that's a line from a movie we watched a while ago this guys dick falls off cuz he took the pill that gives you cancer and his dick fell off and started talking to him anyway guys this is my fanfiction I wrote it myself its about the gay love between lucario and john kramer from saw so it all begins in the woods where john is walking his brain tunmor and he hears something in the woods and he goes and follows the noises and its lucario he is stuck in the tree and john is like omg no way lucario and lucario is like lucario so john helps him get out of the tree but lucario falls down and hits his arm with a loud thud and hes like omg jiksaw no way i love your show and john is like omg tysm and lucario is like what can i ever do to repay you for letting me out of this tree and john is like idk so lucario pulls down johns pants and says i just thought of something and johns old man cock is all flopsy and his pubes are like an old asian man wiht a long beard and lucario sucks off john and john is like ooo ooo aa aaa feels so good and lucario is like schlurp schlurp and john cums but its all dust because hes old and all old men cum dust and john is now in the mood so he turns around and says to lucario to take him so lucario gets hard he has a 9inch red rocket cock and he puts it in john but its not very tight because hes old so it kinda just goes in really easy and lucario is thrusting in and out of john and its really hot and john has a backwards baseball cap on and lucario knots him and john does an aheago face and lucario fills up john with cum and makes his stomach bulge so a few minutes later the knot comes out and john passes out cuz he eepy and lucario smirks and is like thats why they call me the steamroller and phases into nothingness like he was never even there john still waits to this day for lucario to come back but he doesnt know if he ever will so that was my fanfiction guys i hope you like it it took me a few months to write in betwwen my classes so yeah pls like and subscribe also its still hot as fuck in this room but the fan is helping a little bit ok according to google i have only a few hundred more characters left so i will leave you with the wordle answers for the next few days i know them cuz my dad works at the york times and knows all the wordle answers so here you guys go the worlde answers for the next days are

[hard-core-super-star]

good morning! I was so tired yesterday that I forgot most of what I wrote so it will be a surprise for me to read it all again 😶 ALSO, EXCUSE ME??? I wake up and see that you posted a fic, I was expecting something cute (it was cute) and I got punched in the middle of the face!! I love parker!reader because I wanted to be spider-man sooooo bad, but I'm halfway there because I'm miles morales coded, it's more than enough to make this girl here happy 🙏

not even with a second star...? Hjdkaajk I would like to know how I make this easy, would you tell me? 👀

to preserve myself I will neither confirm nor deny this. you have a point there, but by the way the carriage is going your star won't arrive anytime soon. I won't be waiting. oh that's good, because I don't like doing that either and it's not like I wasn't climbing the walls with that last fic you posted. since we're not talking about alpha!Kate, will there be more of this, like a part 2 or something like that? asking a friend-

c'mon, I'm trying but you're not helping at all! I could easily say aww and laugh at the same paragraph again because I definitely see an opening. why financial compensation?? I just laughed! OH- you're threatening me with the sad eyes emoji?? again!?!?!?

thanks. i am still learning. YOU- JDHKSAKAK It's always a phrase that matches the context, how is that possible 😭

yeah? why does portuguese scare you? 🤔 there's definitely a lot to add, but in a way you kind of left the idea complete??? she knows what that feeling is like and not wanting anyone else to go through the same thing and not wanting to drag people down with her is so- this makes me think that she hates being alone but thinks that maybe it's the best thing just so she doesn't bring someone into this mess that she is (I'm pretty sure I said exactly what you said). anyway she just needs a hug damn ☹️

– 🌟

good morning! i''ve been awake for a while but i have a feeling my responses will still be messy af 😶 at least i only have one class today and then i'm free to freak out over my assignments. i love being unpredictable like that :) but yeah, i tried to make it cute to counteract the sadness. i honestly feel that, i liked tobey's version of spiderman a lot but andrew's is...i honestly can't decide if i want to be him or with him [and i'm gay af lmao] miles morales coded, you say? interesting.

hmm, i might be convinced with a second star but idk. it kinda sounds like you'd be willing to bribe me 👀 i could tell you but then i'd have to delete my blog so, these thoughts will stay in my mind.

hmmm, i think that just proves my point further but sure. well, considering you were offering me another star to get me to admit you were right, i'm not too worried about my second star not arriving. good 'cause it's not like that's what i'm going to do later today. i'm so glad we're both on the same page about this 'cause it'd be awful if you kept doing it. i'm definitely not very excited that you're not asking about a part 2 to alpha!kate. and because you're not asking and i'm not excited i won't tell you that i really, really, want to do a part 2 but idk what i want the plot to be. i could just suck it up and do like...multiple fics in one, like a look-through of the relationship starting from when alpha!kate rescues R. but idk. i certainly wouldn't like to hear your thoughts on this.

how is it my fault that you're laughing at me??? you could just say aw and move on, you don't have to laugh 😑 you don't think that requires financial compensation? i'm out here being vulnerable and you're laughing. i'm one sentence away from spamming the sad eyes emoji.

like i said, you're doing great, i might have to pull out my handy emily dickinson poetry book and really test you. i honestly don't know how i do it either, i just associate a lot of words with things so when i see an opening i drop a reference.

i don't know, it just feels like a lot to tackle which is, again, ironic since you could argue all the other languages i've chosen are difficult af to learn. i think it just scrambles my brain when i hear it spoken out loud 'cause i can catch some words while others sound very different. my ideas are anything but complete lmao. that's exactly what i mean. although i do wonder how much of it is just me projecting lmao. it's just striking that someone so talkative and excitable has like...zero friends. that we see anyway. and considering how loyal she is, you'd imagine there'd be at least one reference to her friends. which definitely adds to why she instantly attaches herself to clint. like yes, she's trying to prove herself but also, she doesn't really have anyone else. i definitely agree that being alone is sort of a defense mechanism for her and that's probably why i love her sort-of friendship with yelena. they compliment each other in a way they both so desperately need, even if they won't admit it. hard agree with that last point, see all my headcanons about kate being touchstarved af.

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

Howdy-doo, Kat! 11, 20, 22,23 43,44, 33, 39, and 49 if you please?🥰

ngl the fact that these weren't in order threw me off more than i'm willing to admit

im also sorry for posting late!!! i was dead af yesterday and it took me 3 hours to write this jakdfkdf

come bother me with some writer asks! :3

11. what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

so im bad at doing research LMAO. but also because i never write with the intent to publish so i've never stressed too much about it. tbh i write a lot of canon divergent self-inserts so most of my research is actually making sure i get all the details for that right. like for this college fic i'm barely doing research on it, basically just asking my husband what phd life is like lol. but for the canonverse fic after that, i'm going to be scouring the animanga to make sure i have the correct details

20. what is your favorite trope to write?

100% the shutting-you-up-thru-kissing trope jkdjfkdjf it makes me fall to my knees

22. describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

oh lord uh so i have an idea. usually through rambling to someone or even sometimes a dream LMAO. and then i write it down on my google docs because adhd-brain will make me forget it if i dont write it down. and then i just kinda...find myself daydreaming about it? i've always kinda coped with life by daydreaming about selfships/self-inserts so it naturally just happens. and sometimes when i daydream something that seems cool, i'll write it down to flesh into an idea later. when i outline, i focus on dialogue mostly. i feel like it carries more naturally and then i can make little comments in the margins over how to narrate it. (outlining chapters also makes everything so much easier - hence why i'm trying to finish outlining this college fic before i start publishing :3) when i actually sit to write, it's pretty easy with the outline already done. it just consists of making things sound smooth and not repetitive. sometimes I *really* get into the flow of it and diverge from the outline and that's when I need to step back and go like "what am I writing about again?" (this is why outlines are a godsend for me jdkfjkdf)

23. how do you deal with writers block?

idk HOW DO I, IM GOING THRU IT RN ok so when im writing for myself i just kinda give up and trust that i'll get back to it eventually but when im writing with the intent of publishing...idk. as i said before, i tend to daydream a lot at baseline, so a lot of the times, that's enough to rip me out of it if i come up with a good enough idea

33. do you start with the characters or the plot when writing?

characters! well, main characters. side characters i insert into depending on plot, like if i need a role to be filled.

39. are you an avid reader?

uh well, i have pulled allnighters just so i can finish reading a fic in one sitting so yeah id say so jkasdjfkdsjf

43. how did writing change you?

idk if it was just bc i started in my formative years but like it's kinda part of my identity at this point like who am i if not someone who writes porn and angst about a 2D man in all fairness, writing was like my way of coping when things got rly bad in high school, so i drew comfort from it and then at one point, i wrote regularly enough that i started doing it for real

44. any writing advice you want to share?

biggest thing i'll tell any writer whether they're new or experienced: write as if no one is ever going to read it. because then you'll just write it. prioritize writing for you. it's what gives you enjoyment, you just happen to sometimes share it for others as well. i found writing to be much more enjoyable that way and people just happen to like some of the stuff i post idk jadkfjkdf like i'm even trying to embody this when i write multi-chapter fics that i intend to publish

49. do you want to be published some day?

ehhhhhhhhh not for money in an official sense? i like writing fanfic. i like writing as a content creator, not as like as official author that gets printed copies and is subject to random critic comments. although the attention and appreciation for my writing would be nice (like if there's fanfic on it LMAO), it's never my intention :) i write for my enjoyment

[castle-dominion]

c3x24 knockout. Wasn't the last episode in this storyline knockout too? No, knockdown.

Plot heavy episode, after all, it is the finale.

RC: Hey, guys, I could use a hand. *Esposito & Ryan applaud* Ryan wearing a sweater again. Weekly is v often. their faces drop when they mention him

The ring <3 Lol the "special" & the "usual" & the excellent choice madame. I love it. An hour ago today? Why they all cheering? Oh bc he's the cop. "He" was going to get around to me Ugh he gives him a minute & lays down politely, like this is honestly so respectful of a murder. He's have more blood probably. I remember looking like that. I am now remembering that. You know, for weeks, possibly even a month or several months I could smell blood. The first day, even the first week bc i was still healing, I thought that the smell of blood was just there for real. The bathroom must have smelled like metal; iron & copper; idk how my family didn't notice anything. Maybe it was all in my head now that I think about it. Then later I realized that it was just a hallucination. Sometimes I'd get a whiff of blood & it would remind me of that night, other times I would remember it & suddenly I could smell it. Again, in the earlier days I thought that maybe the smell was real & I just didn't notice it until I thought about it. Figuring out I was getting hallucinations shocked me. Did I just give myself ptsd? I wish I had a photo. I considered it but my phone was in the other room & I wasn't going to go get it. All that blood. Looking back, even tho I'm (sort of) clean now, I want that photo. I wanted a reference for murder scenes in my writing or in drawing, I wanted to see the progress of what I had done, now that I can't remember it as well I want to know what it really looked like & how far I actually got. I used to get nauseous every time I thought about it, even though I was fine with gore. Now all I have is the scar. You know, I used to make jokes when picking raspberries or cutting beets, I said it looked like a murder scene. During this time I realized how wrong I was. Anyway I wrote a fictional story basically transcribing my experiences, just so I'd have a record of it if my memory faded, it was already getting muddy when I wrote it. Now reading it I can barely see it. I remember it though. I remember it. At least I don't get blood olfactory hallucinations anymore. Back to the episode!

Wow it's been four months? Yeah he has an employer. idek who that employer is. Wait if she was 16 & it's been 12 years then she's only 28... alexis is 17 & if he had her at minimum 18 that would be 35 minimum. Well that fits the half plus seven rule. She's 28? 21x2=42 which sounds just as accurate for castle tbh. Yeah cool. Tho tbh the half plus seven rule does fall apart the more you age since people's brains still go thru development phases even tho the most & biggest were from ages -1 to 25.

He technically isn't hal lockwood hence why they called him john doe. OH NO FLASHBANGS. Those things are not good. Even the guys breaking him out would have been affected, even if they covered their ears & closed their eyes. (You only have two hands, two would have to be for your ears & so all you can do is close ur eyes & even so it is bright & loud & there is a physical boom. She asks "where" but how does the lady know what she means? Where is it safe? Where did they go? Where are you hurt? Poor helicopter guy. was he piloting?

Just like, check ur inbox? Can't be real names, must be code. That's why espt made that face! Just like my Mumma! She has her emergency radio license or smth like that. She's the one who taught me the nato phoenetic alphabet. Having seen this. His face when the third cop is mentioned. they were just talking abt street justice cops & monty is saying they should take him out rn rn.

JE: He says he wouldn’t have even known anybody had used it if it weren’t for the bullet holes. XD Does she know or is she speculating? No ofc she is not, but she is ok enough & ok enough to work.

Jim Beckett! & This will be the scene from the deleted scenes in the previous episode. You're so right Mr Beckett. Her life is def worth more than her mom's death. I love Jim sm. Here is his quote btw: What happens when she finds him? I’ve already lost my wife over this. I’ve already lost – (he stops) No, look. It took me years, but I’ve made my peace with that. But Katie? She won’t listen to me. And she won’t back down. Not unless someone can convince her that her life is worth more than her mother’s death.

& wow both her parents are lawyers, she was even considering becoming a lawyer. No wonder she's so pretty & educated.

Didn't sleep at all or slept a little bit? No, not Ryker!

He gon be dead. Yep he dead.

That's why the wound is so bad, GSWs are so much worse in the exit wound Death fist 4 poster (btw I like how ryan takes off his tie & stuff when he wears his vest, unbuttons a bit)

See? If u treat someone with respect then they respect u too. Aw that's actually kinda sweet. Crushing on Beckett.

Ok our theory is currently that the third cop is the employer, the one holding lockwood's leash Ok that's valid you've been angry over johanna's death for twelve years but also ryan was frickin tortured by this guy I think he wants him around as much as u do, esp since he's also mad on your behalf (tho ig she could also be mad on his behalf then...)

I like ryan's elbow patches. (Suit tie & jeans) What was that little look from ryan? Keep in mind I've seen this before, when I say this: {RM is encouraging them to find the third cop, claiming that the 3c must have the money to hire dick coonan to clean up the mess} Yeah they've been here all day & between the four of them a six pack isn't too much. It's late. They deserve it. JE walking in with a case of beer behind his back: Sir. Uh, I know we're still officially on duty, but RM: Authorized KR: Sláinte (health in Gaeilge; pronounced slAn-chuh)* RC: Nice work. Ooh, those are cold. These are really cold. KR : Yeah, we keep them in evidence, refrigerated storage. (they just keep booze in refrigerated evidence storage??) RC: Isn't that where you keep the-- JE: Don't worry about it. RC: (*Irish Gaelic is pronounced (in English) 'gay-lik'. The (Scottish) Gaelic name for (Scottish) Gaelic is Gàidhlig, pronounced 'gaa-lik', not to be confused with the Irish (Gaelic) name for Irish (Gaelic), which is written Gaeilge and pronounced 'gail-gyuh'.) (clipping)

Beer: *casually reveals smth* Calls him a dirtbag SOB, {like my dude, y r u sending em out to find that info?} ((We get to see the meeting in a future season!)) Love. Everyone knows they love each other.

That rubber tree plant The kiss was for a disguise & frozen in each other's arms was for wamrth & bc friends can do that too! She's right tho, it IS her life. (just like the s8 premier) It is the end of s3 so it has been 3 years now? (maybe 2.5 bc the first season was short?) You deserve to be happy, but in that tone? Ooh How over? He is not going to abandon you.

Man's angry! Martha <3 <3 I can see how he might feel it is his fault even tho he's not the one trying to kill everyone. He drug it back up. (could clip but I won't)

I love when she calls him by his first name, it is so intense & personal, he is her second dad. He supports her so much so well. He really is good for her, helping her laugh, bringing in outside ideas... Hug her. acab lol But seriously hug her. You are her dad.

Old guys, probably retired they say. Miami! Wow ryan's cheekbones in this lighting... KR says he DOESN'T believe a "badge" is behind this. (Metonymy) {keep this detail in mind} (But then ryan is the first to crack abt you know who)

Oh no he's the third cop isn't he? {yeah he is} lol order off the menu (so roy made a deal with The Big Bad Guy to protect beckett) He would SO be found out B'y god's got nothing to do with this

What about the son? The way u hold someone intimately lets you put a thumb over their lips & kiss them That's an old timey gun. I like it. Another old timey gun.

Wow it's already been all day! Nothing eventful happened all day... At least miami dade got back to them this evening. Going out w/o telling her? I mean ok.

Big sad.

Bro's still wearing an nypd sweatshirt? Tight is a good word. Some rookie? Young enough to not be retired yet Could he have maybe misremembered the name if there were 40 others he needed to know the names of too & it's been 10 years? Montague maybe? He looks so baby *gulp* Rips up the photo, tbh that's rude

[JE is walking out into the alley] KR Hey! You know it's him. (He looks like he's about to cry.) Montgomery's our third cop. He's the one who altered those records. JE How can you even say that? How can you even think that?! Montgomery brought us on to Homicide! What do we got? A picture!?! KR (whispered/strained) Think about it. (Nromal but strained) Why else did he want us to take Lockwood out? Because Lockwood leads us to him! (Hun he told u to go after the third cop.) He's been lying to us. (Espt also looks like he might cry.) He's been lying to us the whole time. [JE shakes his head, mouthing what I think is "I'm out" & turns around to start walking away.] KR Hey! [Ryan grabs Espt's shoulder] JE Get off me! [Espt punches Ryan & turns around again. They fight. KR grabs him from the back & pushes him into the wall/truck/whatever that thing is. Espt pushes around & gets Ryan pinned to the truck with his hands on his shirt. & not in a sexy way. JE is yelling, holding KR's face & has his fist next to his head.] KR Go ahead! Go ahead! [JE throws Ryan's head to the side as he lets him go. They both lean against the wall, breathing heavily. They both look emotionally ruined.] KR Beckett.

AAAAAAGHHDSKJFSDHJ THIS IS MAKING ME INSANE & then they just don't talk about it.

Please don't let him be the one to kill her Girl set ur phone to vibrate, u'r a cop, this stuff can be dangerous. Why cock the gun? You can't put your family thru going to jail but this happens? (So babe you uh, don't they have ballistics for all nypd guns? when they pull the slug?)

A second chance <3 Who is the "he" They might have come even if Beckett didn't show up, as long as he said he got her there. Then again, they were probs watching. He is her dad so much Good on him to bring in Castle (of all people, he brought castle, even after kicking castle out) Oof this is where I stand They probs saw three figures there & probs even know he means to kill them. Castle is great he just picked her up like that! She was flailing & kicking & he just did what the captain said! Beauty!

(so lockwood has a bunch of people here too? Lockwood is not The Only One y'all) So there are four ppl there. Didn't they kill the two guys with Lockwood during the previous relevant episode? KB & RC came in to save JE & KR & they ended up shooting two of lockwood's people? Now lockwood has four more. Shoot from the hip... RM: You got that ass-backwards, boy, you can't hide from me.

love how they brought back the ass backwards line How did he shoot all of them so fast? Also with a gun like that wouldn't he have to cock it every time? Or maybe not, it was old fashioned, not old. It probably has the mechanism set so that the back thingy & the trigger are attached to pull back too. lockwood got shot, he's back up & running now? Love the music btw. Noooo not behindy! I saw to that. You're done, Lockwood, we both are. & that's why he had a sixshot & a second gun! ...Which was just up his sleeve like that & definitely dangerous

How did u know that was the last shot? What if lockwood was still alive (again) & now he's coming to kill you? At least she is wearing short heels Check his pulse maybe?

Lol acab. I'd just as well watch the Helena music video.

Is this beckett's apatment? I can't tell. Family. Doesn't include his legal family tho apparently. & you have accepted castle back? You know it's weird, Espt & Ryan are like Becket's little brothers (& big brothers) sometimes, they give Castle the cold shoulder in defense of Beckett; other times they are brothers with Castle, they have said "mom & dad [are] fighting" as if caskett is a relationship & those two are the kids, sometimes the captain is the dad. It's just so good to me. So good. Found family is lowkey cliche but I love it still. (But this means u can't tell alexis, martha, lanie, jim, or anyone, bc they are extended "family" not immediate "family" right?)

Who's the guy behind Espt there? Also why didn't Esposito shave?? I feel like Castle should be wearing a hat, just to fit in. Not a hat like theirs, but some sort of trilby maybe. Tbh I really like seeing the pigs in their blankets. Not only because I like fancy stuff (I say wearing the same dirty jeanjacket with holes in it like some crustpunk) but also bc I like seeing them in hats, speaking as a hat wearer myself. & who's the guy behind Ryan?

Crying quietly, 👌 love it You don't necessarily owe it to him, you owe it to his family, you owe it to them to get the pension & access to the widows+orphans fund & w/e.

I like how they let Castle carry the casket even tho he is not a cop. Ok my man definitely needs a hat, he really looks out of place. Aw the poor family. yk acab even tho he be dead. I mean best wishes to him & the families+friends. Like tbh big acab moments. A huge funeral for him? Ok how many ppl there actually knew him personally? How much of this is just because he was a fellow enforcer of the law? How much of it is REAL & how much of it enforces an institution where brotherhood takes priority? Btw did they teach castle how to do the proper stepping for the fancy parts of walking around & turning the way they do? I thought Royce did that. KB: You might find someone to stand with you *looks over to Rick* How did rick actually see that tho? I'm glad he didn't jump in front of a bullet, it hit her first. ALSO LANIE BEING HELP BACK BY ESPOSITO Girl that's not how you save someone. U might want to put pressure on the wound or wear gloves if u have any (like airplanes) & do NOT put your hands on the grass like that

Ok cool. Now I'm actually going to watch season one bc I never had the chance to liveblog that.

Ok now I've also gathered all my clips from s3 yay

[beetrootbug]

Okay i see where you're coming from with this argument about kids and what not. I don't agree with bullying kids at all, which is why i get so pissed at these anti shippers who are probably adults or older teens coming down so hard on young kids who probably haven't even finished puberty yet. It's the same way i feel about other kinds of antis, like dream antis. Dream stans are concerning and I hate the way they behave but I understand that most are young and being influenced by a youtuber with an ego. And I get genuinely pissed at the antis because they are literally just bullying children and making a situation even worse. I'm sorry i portrayed all those that identify as proship as pedos/incels, I mainly said that to highlight the stereotype that most antis think of when they think proshipers (hence the quotation marks around the word incel). I think i also just didn't realise there were people who identify as proship, since it has such negative connotations, i thought it was only something, again, pedos and such used. Why? Because the only bios i saw that term used were of people who were confirmed pedos. I don't use twitter so I'm pretty sheltered from majority of this proship vs antiship stuff. For context of my original post, i wrote that after i saw a reupload here on tumblr of a shocking thread between a bunch of self proclaimed antishippers where the conversation ended with "Maybe hitler was right" because they were convinced that japanese people were responsible pedophile. My point was just complaining about how these, quite frankly, idiots can act "holier than thou" by claiming to take down pedos but then be incredibly racist. Ergo, becoming the thing you sort to destroy. This was mainly just a post written from pure shock and emotion, which probably isn't a good thing in retrospect.

Anyways, about the whole "it sounds like something a child would write" it wasn't. Again, I guess i'm just not so great at explaining or understanding this stuff (idk if that makes sense but). It was written by an adult because it was a canon couple from a show that i watch, and i was worried things would get worse in the fandom, mainly because i already saw a person trying to defend it by saying "well teenagers do that anyway so it's normal". Yes teenagers do that anyway, but if they were to take things further (which of course the canon couple wouldn't because they are from a kids series but I freak out over small things, which is probably obvious) that would venture into illegal territory (at least here in australia). I know this because it happened to a classmate back in high school. He was 16, his girlfriend was 13, they fucked, and now he can't ever get a working with children's check and cannot work with kids, because 16 is of age and 13 isn't. And it is really really normal in my small town for Grade 12 boys to date grade 7 girls, and the relationship isn't great. A lot of these kids are influenced by media, just media in general. Whether be a show they are probably too young to watch or be it fanfics. I know this again, because i had old friends in highschool who would read fics (that would probably considered quite normal all things considered) about romanticising abusive relationships to the point that they craved a relationship like that because they felt a normal healthy relationship was too boring.

I'm also not against fucked up shit. I like reading and writing about psychological torture and cannibalism and what not. Evil media doesn't make people evil, video games and fics about violence and murder don't make people crave violence. For some it's a cathartic, for others it's just interesting. But when abusive relationships/actions are shown to be normal or even fun and exciting, that's where stuff gets murky. It's been proven movies that have plots where men spy on women getting dressed and the women are just okay with it normalises the idea that women are always performing for men and men can just sexualise women whenever they want. It's also been proven that movies that have men saying "hey don't do that" the other men sexualising women also impacts the viewer and their beliefs. There are movies that showcase women being stalked. One is a horror movie and the other is a rom com. They are both about the same thing with similar plots just framed in different ways. When i write about fucked up stuff like cannibalism, i do it to evoke a sense of disgust. Not really a sense "oh that's bad, that's evil!" but rather a sense of "why would someone do that?". A way that's meant to make you question whether it's a normal thing or an evil thing. Who's to say really? But i don't romantise that (or at least I sure hope I don't) mainly cus idk, seems like a weird thing to romantising? Considering I have bad intrusive thoughts about this kind of shit? I guess that's also why i don't react well to certain things, I have a lot of fucked up intrusive thoughts that have impacted me and life and made normal things hard. So i guess i get confused seeing people genuinely enjoy this sorts of things that have plagued me for so long.

I'm not saying media needs to exist to teach only good things, i think life would be boring. But though it's fiction, fiction affect real life. Like, all the time. So many things are affected by fictional works, so to just say "it's just fiction" is a little wild to me, i guess. The only solutions I can think of atm is

a) we stop making stories with fucked up shit in it

or

b) we stop being influenced by fiction

neither will ever fully happen, because fucked up shit can be fun to read and people often try to make reality fit to fiction.

Honestly, the bigger issue is less so the 13yo fic writers but rather the hollywood bigshots who write the new most influential movie. But it can be so easy to get caught up with "low hanging fruit" that we miss the bigger issue.

Kids are going to be curious about fucked up shit and I'd much rather they read something that makes them question the morality of it than something that outright condemns OR romanticises it (depending on what the "it" in question is, cus some things should never be okay and some things are just blown way out of proportion)

(sorry if this comes across as hostile, i'm not trying to be mean or anything i just struggle with tone)

Listen, I hate pro shippers and my 'beliefs' probably align with antis, but like?? Actual people who embrace being an anti?? They are so weird, it's literally just an excuse for them to harass people. A lot of them exhibit the same "incel" behaviour that pro shippers do. Like dude, you can hate pedophilia, talk shit about someone for liking that and NOT BE RACIST?? ITS NOT THAT HARD??? HOW DOES RACE EVEN GET PULLED INTO THIS??? Literally, people keep talking about how "japan was a mistake and everyone there should die because blah blah blah" bro literally every proshipper i've ever encountered was a fucking white american, what are you on about?? You guys understand that certain states in america still allow CHILD MARRIGE, RIGHT?? STOP ACTING HOLIER THAN THOU