#Idk what kind of brainrot I've got | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thoughts-of-bear · 8 months ago

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The birthday gift

A Halsin x reader fanfiction | Explicit, 18+ | 7k words A/N: Okay since the Halsin brainrot has had its hold on me for ages, I started this fic on my birthday in december, not expecting to ever finish it because I have literally never finished anything I've started writing before- until now. I got inspired to write this by this post (for the birthday part, the smut part is my own horny imagination) and well, this is the final product. Since it's my first time publishing any of my writing and writing smut at all, please be kind with me XD Summary: Your companions prepare a surprise birthday party for you, Halsin sees you in your new dress, you two dancing leads to him confessing his feelings for you and a very happy ending... CW: halsin x f!reader, virgin reader, halsin eating pussy, fingering, p in v sex, breeding, rough sex i guess, halsin being the man he is, all that stuff idk what to write here really

I hope you enjoy it, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated <3

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You and your companions had finally reached Baldur’s Gate. It’s still morning when you enter Rivington that day and the streets are busy with all kinds of people, many seemingly refugees from Elturel and farther away, here to find shelter in the city. As you continue down the road to the village in front of the city gates, you are stopped by a little red-headed girl.

“Erm. ‘Scuse me, I can’t find my mum.” She looks worn out and as if she has recently been crying.

“Where did you last see her?” you ask as you bend down to her, smiling to show you want to help.

“She went to go get some herbs - for her spots” she gestures towards her face. “She was sick. And she was supposed to come back the same day.” She pauses before adding, “That was last tenday though.”

“Let’s go find a guard. They’ll be able to help you”, you propose.

The girl shakes her head. “Guards blow like petards. They don’t help us.”

Your heart sinks at these words. It seems all these people were here because the city wouldn’t take them in. And the guards are no help either, apparently. You wonder what happened to your city, where once everyone was welcome.

Halsin sighs and shakes his head in disapproval. “This city is a poor place to be in need of help. Even the guards can’t be trusted to protect the most vulnerable.”

You silently agree and think of how you could help that girl. You decide to spare a few coins, so she can buy herself some food.

“I don’t know where your mum is, but here - take a few coins”, you offer her, not able to tell her that her mother is most likely dead. Halsin smiles at you warmly as you shoot him a quick glance, the sight making your heart skip a beat.

“Oh - erm. Thank you so much! I don’t have anything and you can’t do anything without any coin”, the little girl exclaims, bobbing on her toes and suddenly looking a little less tired. “I’ll pay you back. When I find my mum.” She turns around and bolts. “No need, it’s a gift!” you call after her but she has already vanished in the crowd.

You finally arrive at Wyrm’s Rock Crossing in the evening, after you had snuck past one of the new city guards - the so-called Steel Watch - and promised to investigate the murder of the local Ilmater priest. Another incident that seems to fuel the hate towards the refugees.

And that isn’t even all. The city is closed, even for you as a Baldurian, and to get in you’d need an Admission Pass - or wings. You sigh. You just want to get into the city, rent a room in the Elfsong and think about what to do next, now that the Absolute’s army must soon be upon the city.

It’s all too much and too little time. And you can’t just turn away from the people you met in Rivington either, they need help just as much as you need to find out how to beat the Absolute’s Chosen and get rid of the tadpoles.

When you make your way around camp that evening, checking up on your companions, Halsin notices your exhaustion, the way you slump your shoulders and how your usually impeccable stance falters. He wants to relieve you of at least a bit of the tension, so when you walk over to him, he offers you a massage. The things he wants to say to you can wait until tomorrow.

“Thank you, Halsin”, you accept, his hands turning you around and gently pushing you down to sit on your knees before him. You sigh as his broad hands knead the tension from your back and by the time he is finished, you feel like a sleepy, boneless lump of flesh, muscles completely relaxed. You thank Halsin again before you retire to your bedroll, the hopeful thought that the offer might’ve been more than Halsin’s usual kindness crossing your mind before you drift off to sleep.

The next evening, you were finally inside the city walls. You consider the new information of the day. How you got your hands on an invitation to the celebration at Wyrm’s rock fortress, your disbelief to see that it was Lord Gortash’s coronation as Arch Duke, how he made the tadpoled Duke Ravengard give up his power and how Bane’s Chosen then proposed an alliance against Orin, the shapeshifter that had already approached you in Rivington. You had agreed to kill her, but you definitely wouldn’t leave Gortash his Netherstone. But that is a problem for another day. You had managed to get a room in the Elfsong Tavern and as usual you make your way through it to hear what your companions think of all that had happened today. Most approve of your decision. Halsin is the last person you speak to and as always, he has just the right words to ease your worries. For now, at least.

“Wait-”, he grabs your arm before you can leave. “I didn’t thank you yet.” His large hand is warm and makes your skin tingle where it touches you.

“Thank me? For what?” He chuckles at your puzzled look. “For all that you did in Rivington yesterday. You have so many worries and yet you still go out of your way to help those in need. The way you made that little girl smile, or how you didn’t hesitate to investigate what happened to that Ilmater priest.” A blush creeps up your cheeks as he continues. “I’m afraid Nature’s balance can never be restored in a city like this, but seeing what you do every day without expecting anything in return gives me hope. And for that I thank you.” You smile up at him, lost for words with your heart beating fast.

“I appreciate you saying this. I wish I could to more, to help everyone, but if I can at least do a little good, it’s worth the exhaustion at the end of the day”, you eventually admit with a smile. Halsin grins. “You’re too modest. I wager you don’t even know how extraordinary you truly are.” Your cheeks blush an even deeper red at those words and only when you retire to bed for the evening does your heart resume its normal pace again. But the warm feeling Halsin’s presence gave you remained for the night.

After you had the first proper breakfast since your crash with the Nautiloid, you feel ready to explore the city and find out how to best deal with all your problems. You hadn’t particularly missed the bustle and noise of your old home, but you can’t help feeling safer now that you were in familiar surroundings again.

Gale proposed to go to Sorcerous Sundries, both to find out more about the Elderbrain’s crown and to see what the wizard there wants with your companion Nightsong. Since you don’t have an idea where to find Orin yet, you figure that this is as good as any other thing you could be doing.

The way from Elfsong to the magic shop isn’t far and you still have some time before it opens, so you decide to stop by the Baldur’s Mouth Gazette to update yourself on any news you had missed in your absence and struggle with the Absolute.

Scanning the title page, you notice the date in the corner and your brows shoot up in surprise. Noticing this, Gale asks if you found anything important in the newspaper.

“No, it’s just that I realised today is my birthday and I've completely forgotten about it. That means we have been on the road for more than two months already”, you wonder aloud before you add, “It doesn’t feel that long.”

“Well, then we have to celebrate of course!” Gale exclaims happily. You smile at his enthusiasm but shake your head. “We have bigger problems for now. Let’s see what this Lorroakan wants with Dame Aylin and then get on with our business. Besides,” you shrug, “we didn’t celebrate birthdays in my monastery anyways so I won’t miss anything.”

“If you say so,” Gale replies and you turn your attention back towards the page you were studying before.

You had already forgotten about the conversation as you come into your chamber in the Elfsong, grateful for the few minutes alone during the bath you had taken and the respite for your tired body.

But the moment you enter the room, Karlach and Shadowheart drag you to a set dinner table, laden with the most delicious food you could imagine. There aren’t your ordinary fish heads and the mouldy bread you usually have to call supper, instead delicious smelling pork roasts, pies, glazed carrots and potatoes, deep red apples and more pile atop the table, all lovingly placed around a huge flower bouquet in the middle of it.

You are so overwhelmed by the amount of work your friends must’ve put into this, that you can only stutter a ‘thank you’ before Karlach announces, “Happy birthday soldier! Halsin, Gale and Shadowheart here told us that today is your birthday and you never had a proper party before, so we decided to prepare you a little something!” With a grin she gestures from the table to one of the unoccupied beds, where a few packages are placed.

“You brought me presents too? You really didn’t have to!” you exclaim in surprise. You are so touched that your friends -among all the trouble- still found time to prepare the presents and this party for you that you feel tears well up in your eyes.

“Darling, no need to cry,” Astarion laughs as he pushes you onto your designated chair. “This is a party and not a funeral! Go ahead and enjoy yourself, it’s your special day after all!”

With a sniff and a small chuckle at Astarion’s words you sit down properly. He is right, of course, and you all clearly enjoy having a small break from the worries you faced at the moment.

Smiling hesitantly, you grab some meat and vegetables and start to eat - it really is delicious. You revel in the laughter and conversations with your friends, your weariness from todays fight forgotten for the moment.

When all of you can’t possibly eat any more, Karlach drags you over to the bed with the presents. You can tell she is excited to see if you like the few things your companions managed to get you in the time they had for preparing, so you start unpacking.

The first present contains a book on the monastery you were raised in, with a handwritten note from Gale:

“I’m sure you already know most information this book has to offer, but I thought it might still bring you comfort and remind you of home.” You thank him with a tight hug and carefully place the book into your bag.

The next package is a bottle of the finest liquor of the Elfsong Tavern, plus a sparkler for every one of your companions which Karlach sets of immediately.

Laughing at her shenanigans, you reach for the last and biggest present. It is wrapped in red paper and decorated with a little white bow. You wonder where your companions had managed to find all those things while you carefully pull the paper open. Soon a dress falls out of the packaging and you gaze at it in awe. Your fingers trace the deep forest green fabric, intricate silver and gold patterns weaved into it.

“This is beautiful, thank you, truly!” you say earnestly. You still can’t quite believe that all this should be for you. “I thought you would like it”, smiles Shadowheart. “And I’m certain it will suit you beautifully. Go now - try it on!” she urges you.

You walk to the bathroom which still smells of the quince-scented soap you had used for your bath a few hours before. While changing, you bask in that warm feeling in your chest these moments among your friends always grant you. Whatever problems you had encountered, in your opinion they have all been worth it just for the people you found and let into your heart along the way. As cheesy as that sounds.

You regard yourself in the mirror. The dress is cut low and close-fitting, capturing your cleavage in a very flattering way. Maybe too flattering, if you think about it too much. This isn’t something you’d usually wear, but you have to admit that you like the way the dress looks on you. A bit insecure you go back into your room, where you are greeted with approving cheers and whistles from your friends.

“You look absolutely stunning”, Shadowheart admires. “I knew it would look good on you! Turn around please”, she commands. You do what you are told, with red cheeks at the compliment.

When you face Shadowheart again, you notice Halsin gazing at you with pure admiration - and something else you can’t quite place. You think you notice a golden shimmer in his eyes, but that could be a trick of the light considering all the candles in the room.

“I must admit, your neck looks very tempting in that dress but I know someone who is a lot hungrier for you than me right now”, Astarion remarks with a wicked grin and a sideward glance. You frown at him, though you can’t help your heart skipping a beat at these words. Could he possibly mean Halsin?

“Now, what would a party be without some music and dance?” Wyll interrupts your thoughts and as if these words have summoned her, the bard the party had met in the druid grove appears in the doorway.

“Alfira!” you exclaim happily and immediately rush over to hug her. “I’m so glad you got to Baldur’s Gate alright!”

Alfira grins at you. “Yes, thanks to you and your friends here. When they reached out to me today and told me it was your birthday, I just had to come! Wyll organised everything.” You nod to him in thanks. “Now, I don’t have anything to give you but just tell me what you want to hear and I will play it for you!”

“Thanks, Alfira, that’s more than enough for me”, you beam and lead her into the room towards your group. “Wyll, now is your chance to show me your dancing!” You say as you take his hand and pull him into the middle of the room, then you grab Karlach and Gale and start to move to the tune Alfira started to play. Karlach swirls you around and Wyll shows you the dance moves from court, which -to be honest- remind you a bit of the mating dances you had seen with a few bird species.

Out of breath from all the dancing and laughing, you request a slower tune from the tiefling bard. You manage to persuade Shadowheart to put away her wine for a moment and start to waltz around the room with her. She is quite the good dancer and you wonder where she had learned it, with her being raised in a Sharran temple and everything.

At the next tune, you approach Halsin. With your head light from the wine, you have finally gathered the courage to ask him for what you have secretly thought about the whole time.

Still, you can feel your heart beating in your throat. “Erm…Halsin, w-would you honour me with a dance?” you eventually manage to mumble out shyly.

“Of course, little flower. Whatever your heart desires.” That particular heart skips a beat at his intimate tone. “Although you might wish you hadn’t asked me that once you’ve seen my dancing”, he adds with a chuckle as he takes your hand.

He leads you into the room and starts to swirl you around to the melody of Alfira’s lute. He definitely isn’t as graceful as Shadowheart but certainly not as bad as he has made it sound. But even if he’d had the dancing skills of a bugbear, you wouldn’t have noticed. His large and warm hand around your waist and the smile with which he regards you sends your pulse through the ceiling. His smell of pine and honey and fresh air intoxicates you and it is hard to keep your feet from getting tangled in your dress.

When he leans down to you, you have to remind yourself to keep breathing. “Before you go and mingle again, I still have a present for you. I wasn’t sure if you would even like it”, he admits, “but I have decided to give it to you anyways.” When the tune ends, he leads you to the space in your room where his bed stands and bends down to search his pack.

You think about how long it took you to realise how attracted you are to the druid as you admire his strong back before you. Of course, you have noticed his kindness and compassion and you have always marvelled at the way he drew strength from nature. But only since you had some kind of break these last days have you begun to understand the depth of your affection for the man before you. It runs deeper than mere friendship and the echo of his hands on your back have awoken a hunger inside you that only grows stronger the more you look at Halsin. How desperately you hope that he feels the same way about you…

When he stands up to turn around, you quickly brush away the thought that has sent the heat into your cheeks again.

“You’re the only one who knows of my secret passion”, he begins jokingly, “so I thought you might accept this as my present for your special day.” He hands you a small whittled duck he has apparently made in the hours you were away from camp. You can’t help but tear up at the thought of how much effort he has put into all the details he has carved. There are even small webbed feet on the underside of the little duck.

“Thank you Halsin, this is an amazing gift!” You smile down at the little duck. “You are amazing”, you add quietly.

“With all that you have done for me, I should be the one thanking you night and day.” As you look into his eyes again you see that his gaze is now very solemn. “There was another reason for wanting to speak to you privately. I have lived a very long time. I have taken many lovers. My heart does not stir lightly. But it does now.” Your heart flutters in recognition of his words, the confession sending sparks across your skin.

“I want more than to fight at your side, or to sit around the campfire with you. I want to lay with you under the stars and feel your skin against mine.” Halsin’s gaze on you is intense, filling your chest with a burning heat that slowly spreads lower into your belly, as if the wine you have been drinking suddenly caught on fire inside of you.

Halsin continues, “I think you feel the same way - but tell me I’m wrong and the matter can rest. I do not wish to sour our friendship, but I have to know if it can be something more.”

You stare at him for a moment before you realise that he waits for your answer.

“Y-you’re not wrong, far from it”, you whisper. “I would like that very much.” You smile up at him and he takes your hand in his.

“May I kiss you?” he breathes out, relieved. You nod and he bends down to gently press his lips on yours.

His hand slides up your arm and to your back while he places his other behind your head, gently pulling you closer and deepening the kiss.

You feel his tongue prodding at your lips, demanding entrance and you happily oblige. The feeling of his soft lips on yours sends you spiralling and you can’t stifle the small moan that escapes you. Halsin sends out a silent prayer to Silvanus - if that is all it takes to make you moan, what sounds do you make when he finally gets to taste you? Groaning, his hand on your back slowly wanders lower, a silent question of permission in his eyes. You press your body against his as an answer, feeling the heat radiating off his chest … and lower.

Halsins hand grips your ass firmly, making you gasp, the other joining in and hoisting you up on his hips, turning you both around and pressing your back to the wall. You cannot stop the surprised squeak that escapes your lips at the sudden movement and Halsin presses his mouth on yours to stifle it.

The feeling of the growing bulge in his pants between your legs and the low moan Halsin utters before kissing you even more vigorously sends a shiver down your spine, pressure starting to build between your thighs.

In a desperate attempt to pull him closer, your hands grip Halsin’s hair, arms, everything you can reach. But before you can lose yourself in him, Halsin releases your lips, panting, and rests his forehead against yours.

“I would very much like to continue”, he whispers, his breathing ragged and voice hoarse with desire, “but the others will expect us back and I think you would probably like a bit more privacy.” He sighs and softly kisses your hair. “I will come to your bed when the party has ended, little flower. But don’t expect much sleep”, he adds with a wicked grin. You can only nod as he gently props you back on your feet.

With your head spinning, you get back to the others, averting your eyes from the knowing smirks of Astarion and Shadowheart noticing your ruffled hair and flushed cheeks. You ignore them, trying to engage in some more conversation and one or two dances while the thought of what awaits you won’t leave your head.

When the last of the party finally bids you goodnight, you hurry to bed, awaiting Halsin. You can’t get away from the echoes of his hands on your body, heart already racing again and warmth blooming in your belly. Even if he hadn’t promised you he’d come tonight, you would’ve been unable to sleep.

A soft rustle next to your ear startles you from your thoughts and as you turn your head, you could make out Halsin’s large figure in the dark, crouching beside your bed.

He cuts you off from what you wanted to say by placing a finger on your mouth, his other hand sliding under your back and pulling you into an upright position. With your heart beating into your throat, you take the hand Halsin offers as he gently beckons you to follow him into the corridor outside of the room the party shares, then further into a small but cosy bedroom on the next floor.

The door closes with a click and before you can say anything, Halsin sweeps you up into his arms, pressing you flat against the door and capturing your lips in a kiss that feels like it burns you from the inside.

Halsin’s fresh, earthy scent floods your senses as your tongues intertwine and your hands find their way into his hair, tugging at his braids. You whine when Halsin lets go of your lips, only to gasp as he starts nibbling and placing searing kisses on your jaw while his hands squeeze your ass firmly, bringing your bodies as close together as possible.

You moan at the growing ache between your thighs but plant your small fists against his shoulders anyway, gently pushing him away a bit. Halsin’s eyes, pupils wide and dark with desire, find yours.

“What is it my heart?” he asks, voice hoarse. “Do you want me to stop?” You see no disappointment in his gaze, only worry and your heart swells at how selfless your lover is. You avert your eyes, suddenly embarrassed to tell what troubles you.

“I- I j-just wanted t-to say that … um … well, I- I have never been with someone before”, you mumble eventually, averting your gaze as you blush furiously.

“Silvanus, preserve me”, Halsin groans out before almost dropping you and stumbling backwards, trying to steady himself on the small desk opposite the bed. With wide eyes you regard what is happening before you. Halsin drops to his knees, a deep animalistic growl coming from his lips as his eyes fill with golden light and he transforms into his huge bear form.

You gasp and nearly trip over your feet in an attempt to make room for the bear before you, but the animal fills almost the entire chamber. After finally regaining his composure, Halsin manages to change back into his elf form, with a snarl and a ragged breath coming from his lips.

“Forgive me. I- lost the run of myself.” He shakes his head in disgust at his outbreak, terrified that he has ruined this precious moment with you before it could properly begin, and slowly gets back to his feet. “Sometimes, when blood runs hot enough, it’s difficult to tame the beast. And the thought of you trusting me enough to share your first time with me … well, you saw what happened”, he smiles tentatively, slowly approaching you again with hesitation in his eyes.

“Don’t apologise”, you assure him with a shy smile. “I like it.” If possible, you blush even harder now. “Maybe for another time…?” you add, fidgeting nervously with the front of your dress.

A relieved grin spreads over Halsin’s face. “You like it..?”, he chuckles. “You are full of surprises, little flower.” As he steps forward, he bends down to gently plant a kiss on your cheek, only to proceed to bite at your earlobe which elicits a delicious moan from you.

“I’m glad you think so, but now you’ve made it even harder for me not to outright devour you”, his low voice whispers in your ear. “Nevertheless, I will be gentle. Or at least I’ll try to be.” You swallow hard, arousal sending shivers down your spine.

Halsin’s arms wrap around your waist again as he kisses your jaw, your forehead and nose, until eventually his lips find yours again, his tongue ravaging you like a man starving. His hands, this time directly shoving under your dress, firmly grip your thighs. He ruts against you, growling, his now rock-hard cock pressing against the confinements of his clothing.

His fingers trail higher up, kneading your ass, then stroking the soft skin of your back before slowly wandering even higher. His touch sends jolts through your body and you can feel the heat between your legs, already nearly too much to bear.

His eyes hold an unspoken question and when you nod, Halsin lifts your dress off and brings his mouth down on one of your breasts, the hand that’s not on your back now gently kneading the other, massaging the hardened nipple between his fingers. You mewl at the sensation, impossibly more pressure building between your thighs. Halsin gently bites down at your breast, only to run his tongue over it afterwards to soothe the mark he made. You moan and arch your back, desperately trying to press closer against Halsin’s still overly clothed erection, wanting to feel everything of him.

He growls and his mouth begins to place kisses down your front, between your breasts, on the soft flesh of your belly until he is on his knees before you, his warm breath fanning over you and flooding you with heat.

“More?” he asks, his pupils blown wide with lust, as his thumbs brush the soft skin between your legs. “Please”, you whine, knees almost too weak to stand and your underwear already embarrassingly soaked.

Halsin wastes no time, pressing kisses on the insides of your thighs, his one hand holding you in place and his other slowly -too slowly- sliding your panties down your legs. The sight of you bare and dripping with need before him almost makes him lose control again, makes him want to take you, devour you, fuck you, mark you and then fill you to the brim with his cum but with a groan he wills himself to calm down and be gentle with you. He won’t hurt you. He won’t.

He exhales deeply, lifting one of your legs up and slowly swiping his tongue through your wet folds, which earns him a choked gasp. His nose nudges your clit as his tongue starts stroking, slowly at first, then faster and with more pressure. You can’t help the way each expert swipe of his tongue makes your hips buck into his mouth as countless moans and sighs fall out of your mouth. Halsin growls in response, the vibrations around your sensitive bud making your legs shake. You can barely keep up and the coil in your belly is tightening ever faster with Halsin’s mouth sucking your clit and his tongue inside you.

“You are sweeter than honey, my heart”, he groans as his tongue presses flat against you. “Let me taste you as you come undone on my tongue.” With your mind clouded with lust, all you can do is moan out Halsin’s name and press yourself further against your lover’s mouth.

He understands anyway, now slowly dragging a thick finger through your dripping folds until he stops, teasingly pressing against your entrance. You whine, begging him to fill you, to do anything to release the overwhelming pressure between your thighs. When he finally thrusts into you, you can’t stifle the cry of pleasure that escapes your mouth. With Halsin’s finger now working your cunt open, his mouth continues its ministrations, licking and sucking your clit, soaking your legs with your slick.

With a wicked grin, Halsin inserts a second finger into your quivering hole, pushing inside over and over again, holding you firmly in place as you try to writhe away from the intense pleasure. His fingers coil upwards in response, hitting a spot inside you that makes you see stars.

“Please Halsin…”, you beg, toes curling and legs shaking, “I’m close- I- Oh!“

Moaning into your cunt, Halsin picks up his pace, his fingers pumping in and out of you as his tongue swipes over your clit again and again, bringing you closer to your end.

One more thrust with his fingers and a soft nip of his teeth against the sensitive bud between your legs is all it needs to send you spiralling over the edge. “Ha- Halsin!” you cry out, hips jerking violently and fingers digging into his shoulders as your orgasm hits you with the force of a lightning bolt. He moans at the sensations of your walls contracting around his fingers, the urge to take you and feel you squeeze his cock with your needy cunt almost overwhelming him.

You whine when he pulls his fingers out and stands up, bringing you in for a passionate kiss as you still struggle to regain your breath. Tasting yourself on Halsin’s tongue pulls a small moan from you and an embarrassed heat creeps up your back at the thought of how aroused you already are again.

With a smile, Halsin pulls away. “You are amazing, little flower”, he whispers breathlessly as he picks you up and gently places you on the bed, admiring your flushed body.

If Halsin’s tongue hadn’t just turned your mind to goo, you might have been able to return that compliment, but alas-

“May I go further?” Halsin asks and when you nod he swiftly discards of his clothes, you licking your lips at the sight of the elf naked before you. Your eyes take in his form, from his muscled arms down to the soft curve of his belly and- oh gods. Your eyes widen. You didn’t think he would be that big and the thought of him filling you makes you gulp down a mixture of fear and arousal.

Attentive as always, Halsin notices your insecurity and bends down to press gentle kisses against your ear. “We don’t have to do this, my heart…”, he whispers while he rubs soothing circles into your hips. He looks at you, his expression earnest. You bite your lip, thinking for a moment before answering. “N-no, I want this”, you assure him, your voice still weak but pleading now. The way you look so sweet with your little fangs on your lips makes Halsin feral and he kisses you again, desperate and more passionate this time. He groans into the kiss as he gently spreads your legs for him, lining up his tip with your dripping slit and sliding through your soft folds before stopping just at your entrance. The sensation of his hard length so close to entering you is enough to make your head fall back, eyes squeezed shut. “If it’s getting too much, tell me and I will stop immediately”, he whispers soothingly. “Now relax for me, little flower.”

All thoughts leave your head as Halsin slides in, agonizingly slow. The stretch would be painful if your lover hadn’t prepared you so thoroughly beforehand, but now you only feel pure bliss. Raising your head, you can see that he isn’t even halfway in but gods, you feel so full already that you can’t stifle the choked gasp that escapes your throat.

“You’re doing so well, my heart. Just a little bit more- mngh-!“ Halsin’s growl sends jolts through your spine as he finally bottoms out. You can see just how much effort it takes him to hold back by the way his jaw tenses and his chest is heaving.

“By Silvanus, you’re so tight-!“ A shiver crawls down his back, carrying a wave of soft golden light with it, as Halsin’s eyes light up with his magic for a moment. The thought of how you are able to bring your lover to the precipice of losing control is extremely flattering and you feel yourself clenching around Halsin’s cock, making him grunt in response. Finally somewhat accustoming to his size, you arch your back into the mattress below you. The new angle makes you moan in pleasure as you grip the sheets for support.

“Are you still feeling good, little flower?”, Halsin asks as he slides a hand from your hip under your back to support you. You can only form one thought. “More- please Halsin!” you whine desperately. You don’t have to ask twice, with a low growl he slides out - just to knock the breath out of you with his first, hard thrust. He sets a steady pace, one that leaves you moaning and gasping out his name. Halsin takes your small hands into his, pressing them into the bed beside you to pin you down, pushing into you deep and slow while he places bites and kisses on your throat and chest that will surely leave marks come morning.

Gods, Halsin thought. The sight of your small body sprawled beneath him, split apart by his thick cock while he fucks into you relentlessly is driving him insane. He is growling with every thrust now and each one of them makes you cry out in pleasure. It doesn’t take long until he has you on the precipice of release again, your cunt fluttering around Halsin’s length.

“H- halsin- please! I’m so close!” you can only beg, not sure if you can take much more, your body feeling like it might explode. “Come for me, my heart”, Halsin demands in a gravelly voice before pressing a thumb to your clit, rubbing and massaging until his name leaves your lips in a hoarse cry as your orgasm hits you with full force. Your hips jerk upwards, walls clenching around Halsin as you notice the tears from the overwhelming pleasure streaming down your face. He continues to pound into you, prolonging your release and muttering praises for you under his breath.

Through the fog in your mind you wonder how Halsin still has the energy to keep going, his pace unwavering while you are completely spent, gladly accepting whatever your lover has to give you as long as you’re not required to move.

So, you do not see it coming when Halsin suddenly pulls out of you, the unexpected emptiness making you whine in displeasure, only for him to flip you over and press your chest into the soft bedding while he gently raises your hips.

“I know it’s a lot right now but I need you to cum for me one more time, my heart”, Halsin huffs with a strained voice, pushing inside you once more and grabbing a fistful of your hair to keep you in place. The new position lets him slide even deeper than before and you can’t help the strangled cry that leaves you when Halsin starts pounding into you again, hitting a spot that makes your eyes roll back with blinding pleasure.

“’s too much- please-!” you sob, your poor overstimulated clit still trying to recover from the last orgasm. But Halsin doesn’t relent and you can feel sharp pricks on your hips where his hand grips you, fingers partially wild-shaped into claws and his head thrown back in ecstasy. Seeing just how feral you drive him makes your hole clench around his shaft, the squeeze causing his hips to stutter as a grunt leaves his lips. “Silvanus preserve me”, Halsin pants as he fucks into you even faster, “if you keep squeezing me like that I will not be able to stop myself from claiming you completely, from making you mine and filling you up with my seed.”

You whimper at the image of Halsin pumping his cum into you, fucking it deep into your womb until he is sure that it has taken hold. You cannot pretend you haven’t thought about it before, the idea usually sending an embarrassed heat into your cheeks, but now - gods, now you needed it.

Completely breathless you moan, “Halsin I- ah-! please-! Fill me with your cubs!” These words were the last needed for Halsin to lose himself completely in you, driving himself into you with punishing strokes that cause you to arch yourself into him while moans and whispered curses fall from both your lips. The coil in your stomach is so tight again and when Halsin takes the hand from your hip to softly press on your lower belly you see stars. Your walls clench around Halsin’s cock and you feel him twitch inside you, a sign that he too is close to release. All it takes to send you over the edge is his finger pressed against your clit, your body shaking violently beneath him, toes curling, while waves of ecstasy course through you and you cry out his name.

With a last snap of his hips and a low moan, Halsin comes as well, twitching cock releasing hot spurts of cum inside your still fluttering walls. He continues to pump into you until the aftershocks of your shared orgasm have subsided, before he slowly pulls out. You collapse onto the mattress, exhaustion settling over your overstimulated body.

Halsin gets onto the bed with you, gently gathering you up in his arms and placing your head against his broad chest. “You’ve done so well for me, little flower”, he whispers into your ear, placing soft kisses on your face before he looks your body up and down. One of his hands comes up to stroke a strand of hair away from your damp forehead and to gently lift your chin in order to look you in the eyes. You note worry in his gaze, his brows furrowed in remorse when he plants a feather light kiss on your lips.

“I’ve hurt you”, he states. “I’m so sorry, my heart. I shouldn’t have lost control like that.”

You smile up at him and cuddle deeper into his arms before you shake your head. “Don’t apologise. I loved every second of it. There is no birthday present in this world that can ever match this”, you confess with a shy grin. “Although I have to admit I’m a little sore. You sure did your best to make sure I’m unable to walk tomorrow.”

Halsin chuckles. “I can help with that”, he answers with a sly smile, his free hand sliding down your body to stroke through your soft folds, muttering an incantation under his breath. As the familiar glow of the healing spell engulfs his fingers, you feel a rush of warmth where he touches you. A moan escapes your lips before you could stop it, eliciting a mischievous smirk from your lover as you hide your face against his chest in embarrassment.

“I’d be happy to go again, my love, but I think you need some rest first. Besides, we still have an Elderbrain to kill, so we’ll need our strength tomorrow.” You nod at that, the tiredness in your bones leaving you unable to object, even if you had wanted to. But you know he is right, so when Halsin wraps a blanket around you to carry you to the bathroom, you just relax into his chest, the sound of his steady breathing soothing you.

When the bathtub is filled with warm water, you are already half asleep, barely registering that Halsin is gently cleaning you up, rinsing the sweat from your hair and body and rubbing salve over the bite marks and the bruises on your hips once you are dry again.

You can hear the soft snores and deep breathing from your companions when Halsin brings you back into the room you share, all of them already fast asleep. Absentmindedly you wonder how long you and Halsin have been away, but the thought is gone as soon as Halsin places you on your bed.

“Goodnight, my little flower. Sleep well.” He gives you a kiss and turns to leave. You manage to grab his hand before he does, stopping him in his tracks.

“Stay with me tonight?” you mumble sleepily. Halsin smiles, warmth and adoration filling his chest as he carefully climbs next to you, the bedframe creaking slightly with his additional weight, and wraps his arms around your smaller figure. The thought of how your companions might react in the morning seeing you two in one bed briefly crosses your mind, but Halsin’s steady breathing and the soft pulse of his heart against your back soon drown out anything else as you drift to sleep in his warm embrace.

-------------------

Part 2 is here now!

#bg3 #halsin #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 halsin #baldurs gate 3 #halsin silverbough #halsin bg3 #halsin x reader #halsin x tav #halsin smut #halsin fluff #bg3 smut #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 fic #bg3 fanfic

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jooillusion · 7 months ago

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🌸Since you said ask for ANYTHING, I'll comply.

Seungmin and messy sex😭, person likes it messy, but they never really talked about it before and he just starts to notice cause she would be way sloppier than what he was used to, letting her drool fall but always pretending it wasn't on porpoise (maybe in the beginning it wasn't hehe) he would end up full of her drool and saliva just from making out. Extra points if he notices she would actively try to squirt on him on porpoise 🫠🫠 and would pay way too much attention to his cum.

Even more extra points if they aren't really dating quite yet. If he says any kind of pet name including the word 'messy' I swear I'll combust (idk why but it sounds hot)

I like to think he would kinda baby them a bit if he noticed, but not too much, just find it kinda funny when he notices that's a kink of hers, but please set the mood to whatever you want!!!

(I've been thinking about this for more time than what's probably healthy. may the universe forgive me) ILY FOR THIS, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH MY SEUNGMIN BRAINROT AS BEEN KILLING ME

getting messy with seungmin <3

warnings: mutual masturbation, squirting

oh 🌸 anon how much i love you…

you and seungmin loved to experiment when it came to exploring more of what you both like. at first he thought you really really liked him, and you do, but the more heated your makeout sessions got the more he’d pull away with his lips being swollen and glossy as if he put on lip gloss. same with you except the drool that leaked from the corners of your lips down to your chin. he’d chuckle and use his thumb to wipe it off, cupping your chin again and pulling you back onto his lips.

then it got to the point where it happened way too often to where his the sleeve of his sweater would be drenched in your saliva due to him having to wipe it off his chin everytime you pulled away. and when he finally mustered up the courage to ask about it you’d pout and say that it’s not your fault, he’s just too hot for you to handle and you want him all to yourself. oh boy does that turn him on since you two haven’t even made things official yet. this whole endeavor started after a drunken hookup, leaving you both craving each other since you two know how to properly make each other feel good.

seungmin especially loves it when he makes you squirt.

the first time it happened, you had told seungmin you wanted to try something out and of course he’s quick to do anything to satisfy you, knowing that in the end he’d leave just as satisfied. this led to you both facing each other, your hand wrapped around seungmin’s length and his fingers fucking themselves into your hole, using your spit as lube upon request. he wasn’t complaining, it felt incredible for the both of you.

he watches how your mouth falls open and your head flies back with each time his long, slender fingers thrust into you, the tips of his fingers graze against your g-spot deliciously. your grip around his cock tightens and his teeth grit, feeling his orgasm creeping into the pit of his stomach. seungmin uses his thumb to circle over your clit, your moans getting high pitched as the sensitivity hits.

“fuck,” seungmin breathes out. “you’re making a mess baby.”

his words alone make your hips buck up, your free hand grabs at seungmins wrist trying to stop what’s about to leave your cunt. it happened once before and you’ve only ever brought yourself to that point. it’s too late to think about how he’d react since his hand has no intentions on stopping, full on slamming his digits inside of you and speeding up when he feels them tighten around them.

it happens fast. your thighs close together and you cry out weakly before it finally gushes out, and it completely catches seungmin off guard as some of it lands onto him. his hand comes to a halt and he pulls his fingers out, your hand on his wrist tightly holding it, trying to desperately pull it back towards you. he’s hesitant at first, but his hand goes to rub fast circles on your clit, more squirt gushing from between your thighs.

seungmin thrusts into your fist the more it lands on him, coming on a low choked sob, cum spurting on your legs. the both of you breathe heavily, one hand behind you to keep yourselves from falling back. you stay like that until your eyes finally flutter open to see seungmin staring at you, the realization of what you just did hitting you. you open your mouth to speak, ready to apologize and tell him you could change and wash his sheets for him.

“i need you to do that for me more.” he beats you to it, breathily laughing and shifting to hover over you to kiss your lips.

now that he knew he was capable of making you squirt, he used that to his best advantage, his hand always finding its way to your clit, whether he has you bent over, on top, on your side, having him on top, grinding on his thigh, or riding his fingers it wouldn’t matter, he wouldn’t let you leave if your juices weren’t on him by the end of the night. he chuckles when he brings you to that point, cooing into your ear, “give me more, angel.”

please remember that this is a pure work of fiction.

#—꩜ seungmin #—꩜ smut #—꩜ requests #—꩜ drabbles #xdh hard hours #xdh hard thoughts #xdh smut #xdh x reader #xdinary heroes hard hours #xdinary heroes hard thoughts #xdinary heroes smut #xdinary heroes x reader #o.de smut #o.de x reader #sweetie 🌸#love mail ୨୧

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idyllic-affections · 1 year ago

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Just found out people call the dottore clone you see on the boat "boattore" and now i can die in peace 😭. Would [Name] from your pantalone fanfic give some of the clones nicknames like that too?

dad!pantalone brainrot v (ft. il dottore).

summary. a general expansion on what il dottore's relationship with pantalone's child is like.

trigger & content warnings. dottore clones being... dottore clones. idk. they're insane. implied human experimentation.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. il dottore (and his clones) & pantalone's child!reader. 0.5k words. they/them pronouns for reader. prev | next

author's thoughts. you know, every time i see anyone like anything from the dad!pantalone series, i'm like... wow??? i wrote that a while ago and people still find it enjoyable..... anyway getting an ask related to it made me all giddy!!!!!! so of course i responded asap. also me, i do that, i call that dottore clone boattore LMAO i also call him psi, but i like boattore better. it's silly and goofy. also god i welcome asks related to this series with open arms! i love talking about it. i think i should make a tag for it tbh... initially, i wasn't going to, because i didn't plan on expanding upon it, but it's still popular with tumblr users, so... yeah. i'll probably make a tag for it.

il dottore's relationship with [name] is... complicated. it varies from clone to clone.

first off, to answer your question—yes! [name] absolutely has their own silly nicknames for the clones, mainly because they take pleasure in knowing how much it annoys them. the clones can't really do much of anything about it, either. they all just have to tolerate [name]'s antics, because... well. pantalone handles all of the fatui's finances, you know? they can't exactly tell his kid to stop being an annoying little brat, lest they decide to complain to the regrator about the clones' behavior. they wouldn't. they're mature enough not to complain to their father about things like that (for the most part, anyway).

some of the clones find [name]'s nicknames kind of funny... but most of the dottores find it annoying. it sucks to be them, because [name] finds their annoyance very funny.

it's a trait they got from their father, really, because he also finds amusement in the doctor's agitation, but he's more partial to prime dottore's agitation. his kid finds it funnier to annoy the younger segments.

as i've mentioned before, dottore prime is one of [name]'s tutors. he's also the only one that has any kind of authority over them, but only within their tutoring hours. after that? they're free to agitate him all they want, however... they once discovered that some of their work had become inexplicably more difficult after they messed with him outside of tutoring hours. when they asked about it, dottore had told them that if they had the time to be a nuisance to him, then they must have had the time to study harder as well, surely? what else would they be doing with all of that freetime? surely being a sheer and utter brat to him didn't take up all of that freetime? he only had to do increase the rigor of their work one single time for them to get the message. they don't bother him anymore.

(if someone decides to address their sudden politeness towards prime dottore, as their father did once, they get very flustered and annoyed, quickly changing the conversation to another subject. they hate to admit that the doctor in his prime has ultimately won... at least they can freely bother his segments without suffering the same humiliating defeat.)

on the other end of the scale, there's webttore. webtoon dottore—i call him beta, personally. the goofy segment with no fashion sense. yeah, that one. he's always about three seconds away from tearing their throat out. their smug aura mocks him. now, funnily enough, if anyone else so much as indicates that they're having violent thoughts towards [name]? he doesn't take that well. he's sort of like a brother to them; he's someone they're always at odds with but he's also someone who would not hesitate to tear apart anyone who threatens [name]'s safety. he always needs new test subjects! he'd rather die than so much as imply that he has any kind of attachment to them, though. it's an interesting dynamic, to say the least.

oh, and might i add...

[name] wouldn't take primettore's decision to destroy all the other clones too well.

just saying.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

#aphelion brainrots 🌸#favoniuslibrary #astronetwrk #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #platonic genshin x reader #platonic genshin impact x reader #platonic genshin impact #il dottore x reader #dottore x reader #fatui harbingers x reader #platonic fatui harbingers x reader

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blacklegsanjiii · 8 months ago

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Got hit with the brainrot beam for a new Au fella, so so hear me out

Nefertari Sanji

Back when sanji was still in germa the kingdom would sometimes attend the royal refari (idk how you spell it) and this one time judge brought along all his spawn and Sanji!

Vivi and Sanji became quick friends and Cobra was also enjoying this shy well behaved boy, maybe Sora was actually good friends with the Nefertari family and asked them to keep an eye on Sanji if she wasn't not around anymore.

So basicly on that event they see the way Judge treata Sanji as if he doesnt exist while showing heavy amounts of love and attention to his other kids, and the siblings beating up Sanji ans bullying him, not to mention the bruises on Sanji that show it isnt the first time this is happening.

So either they steal him away at the risk of a war but Judge doesnt care to find out who took him and pronounces him dead or maybe kong Cobra is a little more careful ams decides to deceive Judge by making him give up Sanjk to Alabasta (like maybe sell him or maybe they set it up like a marriage alliance where vivi and sanji will be wed when they both are of age)

But Sanji ends up as a nefertari and Vivi's brother ✨

Amazing. I love this and I love your brain. Good Lord it's a whole Ace and Sabo situation where the will of D is fucking handed to someone not technically born with it. Amazing.

Cobra and his family are friends with Sora and they see each other at every Reverie and they watch the children grow as Sora grows weaker. Sora makes them promise to care for Sanji when she passes and it is held in the highest regard to Cobra and his wife. They see the bruises, they understand what is happening. So when Sora passes before they take Sanji. Cobra expects a fight for the third prince but Judge says have him, he's useless, so Sanji is adopted and inherits the will of D. He is not the crown prince, only because he was adopted after Vivi was born. That's it.

He's allowed more to focus on his hobbies that way but he still has royal duties. Everyone can also see the will of D infiltrate his being. He eats like a D, is stubborn like a D, he puts his mind to things like a D. Thank the gods he wants to be a chef because he is a damn good cook. He's also kind and takes care of his people the best he can.

I've headcanoned that Sir Crocodile was a friend of Cobra and a trusted advisor who basically acted as the kids uncle until the coup. He would watch them train with Cobra who would smile and say that Sanji joining the family was one of the best things to happen to them. Crocodile agrees as he watches them grow. Sanji learns not only his martial arts but swords and guns as he is dead set to protect Vivi with his life, not only as her brother but as a member of the Royal Guard.

Then the coup happens in their parched land. He escapes with Vivi and runs. Sanji has to protect the crown and that crown is on his little sister. They watch Baroque Works take control of their home and hold their father prisoner. Sir Crocodile, Mr. 0, became a warlord and has made everything worse. They make it to Whiskey Peak with Karoo and Igaram. Then they meet the Strawhats. And they go with them to take back Alabasta.

Zoro and Sanji still fight but Sanji takes over cooking duties which makes the crew salivate. Vivi and Nami hit it off and Sanji absolutely sends his little sister knowing looks and teasing remarks that make her flush. He says once this is all settled and she nods. Everything is pretty normal, Sanji laughs so hard he's crying to Vivi and Igaram about Crocodile buying the whole 'Mr. Prince' thing and Vivi chokes with how hard she's laughing. He helps Luffy get Nami to Doctorine. Chopper joins and they get to Alabasta. It's the first time in Sanji and Vivi's life in Alabasta they feel the rain, how it drenches them and their father.

It would also be fucking hilarious if the crew had no idea that Sanji isn't just a soldier like Koza but also a prince. When his bounty comes out he looks at it and shrugs. Nefertari D. Sanji is apparently Black Leg Sanji because they didn't recognize him and he certainly doesn't act like a prince. He curses more than anyone and smokes so many cigarettes. It's actually worrying how easily he takes to be a pirate as he bids farewell to his family and Vivi is part of the Nakama even if she isn't on the ship. He keeps in touch with letters.

Until he's sent to Momoiro by Kuma and Ace dies in Luffy's arms.

When they come back together it's still very funny to him that he's royalty and no one knows that or believes it except for Robin who doesn't mention it at all. Jinbei also doesn't mention it even though Sanji is sure he knows. Law doesn't care enough about them to remember much about them probably.

When Sanji goes to protect the crew for WCI he's looking at Judge with anger and annoyance, even as the cuffs are put on. When his bounty is changed to Vinsmoke after the escape he's even more annoyed. He doesn't bring up his name until after Wano before the crews all separate when Law asks him about Germa because fanboy behavior.

"I'm not a Vinsmoke and haven't been since I was a child." Sanji shrugs in response.

"So you've been a pirate for a long time?" Law asks.

"Oh, no. I joined the crew with my little sister in Whiskey Peak, Vivi. She stayed in Alabasta after we kicked Crocodile's ass since she is set to take over the throne." Sanji answers.

"Wait, you're a prince, like actually a prince?" Law asks with puzzlement.

"Technically. I was adopted by the Nerfertari's as a child. My name Nefertari D. Sanji, not Vinsmoke." Sanji nods.

"What the fuck? What the actual fuck?" Law yells as he walks away.

#black leg sanji #vinsmoke sanji #nefertari vivi #vivi one piece #nefertari cobra #cobra one piece #nefertari!sanji #answers

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eldaryasharbinger · 6 months ago

Text

MCL New Gen Ep. 4 Review

I played the episode on early access so now it's review time! Like last time, I'll give a more generic and spoiler free opinion and leave all the spoilers below the cut!

First thing I want to say is that this might be my favorite episode so far, I've gasped in surprise A LOT while playing it, due to all the information we get to know about all the other characters, like there's a lot to unpack from this episode... I can't wait to hear what others will think of it when it's avaible to everyone!

The episode costed me exactly 1716 APs, uncle Archibald included! (I also finally found him and got the right answer! I forgot to look for him in ep 2 and 3 and missed taki's costumes :( )

So far I've only seen Jason's, Amanda's and Devon's illustrations so I'm really curious about the others. Amanda's is very very pretty and the special scene was soo good,, Devon's is pretty cute as well, I liked the idea and I wonder what the interaction was like!

Jason's kind of let me down, I didn't have much expectations and I'm not saying that it's bad, I just wish it was a little bit... more? Still the special scene was so good it fit the way I see Petronilla's personality/way of thinking if that makes sense?? Also I really enjoyed the story so me being low-key disappointed by illu is probably a me-only problem because it was perfect for the context

I'd say more but idk what others might consider spoilers or not so I'm playing safe and leaving all the other details below the cut, spoilers ahead! From the future: It's super long I really had so much to say, so if you're stopping here, remember to come back after playing the episode!

OKAY BUT THE GASP I GASPED WHEN I SAW LYNN?? Absolutely loved seeing her animated, or yk, seeing her in general! I wasn't really expecting it but I loved the surprise!

Also lmao not Thomas just telling Lynn that he loved her as a kid I WAS SHOCKED but simply because the possibility never crossed my mind... Consider my flabbers, gasted...

Like when I said we'd be learning a LOT about the others, I MEANT IT!! I didn't know how we'd even end up in the situation to talk about love and relationship with our coworkers in the first place (which was the premise of the episode) but it basically started after Thomas randomly revealed he loved Lynn as a kid, Elenda teasing him and him revealing (kind of) that she had a childhood crush on someone as well which is, well, DEVON!! It was so much because at that point anything could've happened... I was already so surprised and impressed by what was going on... BUT THEN !!

I love how everyone was going crazy about Roy and Brune being in a relationship when these two have been together for two weeks, never kissed, slept together or anything

And we just have to watch these two having a the realization and simply breaking up like it was nothing...

To be honest I didn't even find it strange or weird although the other characters were kind of annoying about it, and that just because they were so chill with it?? Like, not every break up has to be screams and tears idk, maybe I didn't find it strange because I've only had good breakups? (lots of heartbreaks from relationships that never even started too ofc) Like, once two people both agree that the love is gone/was never there or anything like that I think it's only normal for it to go ok? idk I found it very icky how literally no other character said anything like this, they were all shocked because of the lack of drama? Honestly, Brune is a queen for saying "go watch a soap opera if you want drama" lmao, I love her (unpopular opinion?)

Yeah you guessed it, I gasped AGAIN when Jason arrived at the café!

AND I GASPED AGAIN WHEN THOMAS SAID THIS??????? HELLOOOOOOO??????? LMAO IDEK WHAT TO SAY I'm on cloud nine y'all with how the story with Jason is going, I'm THRIVING, my brain is getting back into brainrot, like everything I could've wanted, like this kind of silly fanfic trope, I'm loving it

Okay Brune, ouch, but I still love you, you can call me anything lol

AND ELENDAAA!! SAME AS THOMAS !!! Yes keep saying these things as if we're teenagers/pos it's so so funny to me it gets me giggling and kicking my feet,, Like oooo he has a crush on you hehehehe hohohoho,, yeah I think it's the worms writing rn, they got control of my brain ;w;,

Okay so next, after we all saw Jason, we stayed on theme and Thomas started talking about how he follows him on insta in secret and how he's seen him with A LOT of women but never twice with the same one... then...

I kind of felt bad for him because seriously, they not only started talking about his private life, they were also saying bad things about him and were so judgemental, and I get not liking the guy but at the same time it felt uncalled? all he did was go to cozy bear cafe at the same time as us and he didn't even approach us,, come on y'all no one taught you how to behave?? There's this saying that basically says "don't speak about those who are not here to listen" or something like that and I believe in that, if I'm with people who start doing this I either stay shut or remind them that they're being mean, they're supposed to be adults but some of them really think in a rather "twisted" way, like Thomas for instance, he said that since Jason uploaded those pictures himself, it was public (therefore they were allowed to talk sh*t) and man... that's such a scary way to think (I'm not calling him a creep, I get why he might htink that way), I've already stated before that I'm very paranoid and knowing that some people actually think this way (with evil intentions) is the reason why I feel so scared to post anything online, I want my life to remain private,, (these are just my experience with the situation, I'm not trying to make it sound like a big deal it just made me uncomfortable because of my personal beliefs)

Imagine "poor" Jason going for a coffee and then finding your rivals gossiping about your love life etc, and honestly the fact that I like Jason so much isn't even important because I swear I would've felt compassion for him even if I hated him with all my guts... BTW I'm not complaining about the writing, the story was very intresting and I wouldnt've wanted for it to go any diffrent!! "But Kaf! How can you say you liked it if it made you uncomfortable?" you see, I'm a weirdo and got questionable taste, I love me a pityful, loser and not really evil character, this is only making me root for Jason more, as well as making me want to put him in my mouth (means nothing I say this about all things I like so much that I just feel like I have to eat them,,)

Now get ready because next up we have the answer to Candy's question "why do we hate Jason?"

Guys.

GIRLS.

Y'ALL.

HE'S EVEN MORE PITIFUL TO MY EYES THAN BEFORE, LITERALLY MY FAVORITE KIND OF CHARACTER!! THE UNSUFFERABLE, MISERABLE BUT ACTUALLY JUST VERY VERY SAD ONES!! (I have decided he's like this, just my interpretation/headcanon)

They werent even friends to begin with, Jason was just this random guy who worked there, probably done with his job he saw Devon's file and decided to Plagiarise and try to get a chance at a better job, got caught, fired and decided that he was now enemies with this other random guy as if he didn't literally steal from him because HE IS A SORE LOSER!!!!!!!! He's unsufferable on purpose, probably very very sad inside and he kind of showed that when he caught them talking sh*t because he looked very serioius, no smile or anything

today is a great day for me, because I've now decided that I'm 100% right and this is how the story goes for Petronilla's story, even if in the future we might a diffrent story, this is how it is in my mind :D!

I love how she's like "i'm just investigating the rival! I'm totally not zooming in on each and every picture!" she's so real this is 100% 'Nilla behaviour (me too)

This is Jason's illustration and now you can understand what I meant with "I wish it were more"

More than a picture of a picture on my phone!! It's still accurate so I can't really complain about it too much, in the end I think it's good to have different perspectives (Also how pretty is he... wow...)

Girl you're cooked

yeah well, in my head I've already estabilished that Jason saw that and that he'll be overthinking it so much or he'll be like "ha ha, of course she liked this picture of me on purpose to send me a sign, she wants me, but of course cause she can't resist my charm! no one can!" and then feel so confident etc (a loser)

Now let's fast forward to sharing a taxi ride with our beautiful Amanda!

do you want to kiss already or

LMAO THIS IS WHERE MY STUPID ASS THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS ASKING ME OUT

I don't even know why I thought that but with how things were going... the atmosphere yk... And yeah, I gasped about this too

;A;, (yes, that's all the commentary I have left)

The illu is so cute and I loved the outfit, just like last time I ended up buying the illustration becase the outfit was different for Jason... Although I think that this one is pefert for Petronilla! (I unlocked it in the shop with 150 hearts at the end of the episode)

aaand this for last! to back up one of my recent reblogs talking about how Amanda isn't that bad and had her reason to be upset (in case you had the party at your house, I didn't)

That's all and wow, it's a lot

#mcl ng spoilers #my candy love new gen spoilers #mcl ng #my candy love new gen #eldaryasharbinger review

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tricerotopicpt2 · 6 months ago

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Alright guys the fable smp pokemon au brainrot is back and full swing because ocie was posting about it so here's a couple of thoughts based on that (warning this post is a bit long 😅)

Ok ok, so it terms of what pokemon people would have and how they got them, here's the thoughts

I think icarus' partner pokemon would be an archeops they got from their dad. Something about the overworld foundation doing some kind of research with ancient pokemon and fable giving his kid one seems right. They'd also probably have a pom-pom style oricorio and a decidueye (something about a ghost type archer pokemon that bird shaped feels right). They'd absolutely have almost exclusively flying types. Charles is just a really high level torchic they got from and trade and cant use.

Rae would probably have an Espeon. It's just feels right for him between it being a psychic type and evolving through high friendship. Going with the idea of him studying psychic and dark types, an inkay could be good for that, but idk if it fits his vibe. I also think that a pa'u style oricorio could be fun because he could totally study its dancing and how that connect with its "psychic energy". Also it could be matching with icarus which is fun. While it's not dark or psychic, a lucario or riolu could also be fun because they literally sense auras. Like. It's their whole thing. A lucario evolves with high friendship, but it also might be a bit to strong for rae to own. Maybe a riolu that evoles later on.

Athena just gets all the fire types. And maybe some fairy and dark types. Their partner pokemon is absolutely a torracat. They deserve all the fire types. Athena could also have a baile style oricorio so all of prince trio can have matching bird guys (maybe I just like oricorio alot. But it's a fire type and it fits and its fun). Just give this guy fire pokemon. And also maybe an alcremie because baking.

On that same note, give Jamie a dachsbun. And some bear shaped pokemon.

Arisanna gets fairy pokemon, specifically I think her partner pokemon is a togekiss because I think the allays being togepi is really fun. Im not entirely sure about what other pokemon she would have tho. Maybe an azumaril because blue. I dont know how vexing would translate over to pokemon au, but vexed ari would absolutely have a tinkaton.

I think magearna comes into play somehow here, maybe Caspian would have it and fix it up. Idk I think magearna is a fun pokemon and could be a fun stand in for Raza. Similar thing with type null.

I think the first pokemon that ven would end of catching is an alolan vulpix. You cant tell me I'm wrong. Its literally a little white fox guy. It's probably the only pokemon he'll have for a while and probably won't evolve. Maybe he gets a ghost type pokemon later.

I'm starting to realize how much alolan pokemon I've given these guys. But to be fair, alola has fun pokemon and I watched the anime for it a lot after they took xy and xyz off Netflix.

I think the world sisters would probably just be besties with some legendaries/mythical. They probably wouldn't catch them, but momboo just hangs out with shaymin sometimes and ocie is homies with phione and manaphy. Or if we wanna stick with the alolan theme, tapu bulu and tapu fini.

I absolutely have way more thoughts, but this is what I'll say for now since I dont want this to be too long 😅. I want to hear more people thoughts on fable smp pokemon au's tho

#fable smp #fsmp #fablesmp #fsmpblr #pokemon au #i just go crazy over pokemon au's

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megumi-fm · 7 months ago

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26th to 30th Apr; doa🚲 complete!!

hi. gah. okay. here's my wrap up for the month

📝 prepped for and completed the last set of internal tests for this degree [2/2] (which I got through after much cribbing and whining and quite literally projecting study topics onto my blorbos 👍 ) 📝 started GRE prep!

🎓 got some gradecard related paperwork done 🎓 spoke to my prof regarding my internship deliverables for uni—report format, certificate requirements, etc etc

📥 I voted! it was the first central elections since I turned to an adult and the whole experience was quite interesting

💻 completed a bunch of tasks for my internship

💻 made like a super extensive flowchart about all the work done at my internship which took me like a total of 20+ hours T-T 💻 finished preparing my Uni Internship presentation! 💻 submitted the presentation to the assistant guide, waiting on her response to make changes atm

🍶 7+ glasses of daily water intake 🎵 svt's new single is out and I've been going insane about it and thus this challenge comes to an end... I had started this off as an 18day daily habit tracker but then it kind of grew out into a challenge for the month. Special thanks to Yumi the loml <3 (@thelastneuron) for starting the Days of April challenge (Yumi idk when you'll see this but i miss you and I hope you've been kicking ass during your hiatus). also massive thanks to Zip (@zipstidbits) for leaving the kindest comments/tags on my post during the past week and to Tanishka (@booksbluegurl) who is literally the sweetest and has been sending in asks and keeping me company during this challenge <3

there's a lot more i wanna yap about in regards to how the month went but I'll leave that under the tags xD goodnight besties <3

month end brainrot

april started off with dips and more dips but by the end of the month it feels like I've caught up. productivity is a wave so as long as I keep riding at it i'll be okay.

also. progress is cumulative. even the seemingly inconsequential completion of daily tasks has lead to an overall improvement through the week. things add up

I spent a lot of time this month (and moreso this past week) feeling dejected that I've been leaving my tracker posts (and my digital planner entries) incomplete... but like. the whole point of trackers and planners (and this studyblr) is to get work done. work is the priority and the tracking is a means to an end. so if im getting work done that is already a win. yeah... i've had to keep reminding myself that

there is no one-tool-fix for tracking and journalling. what works for planning out one task will not work for the other. I need to strop trying to fit all my plans into one formulaic strategy box

on that note. it's time to return to handwritten journaling. digital journalling (notion + YPT + discord + tumblr) was fun while it lasted <3 but my brain needs novelty again so it's time i switch back. I think I finally have an idea for a system that could be sustainable for me... although I say that every time I switch to a new form of tracking. but hey. as long as it helps me get work done for whatever duration of time, it's good enough

using kpop and kdrama references to make notes and study really paid off. ngl I only did it cause I was super desperate but incorporating stuff I couldn't understand with a topic I really like paid off. It also gave me the motivation and momentum to study for much longer than I otherwise would have

last but not least. my water intake has been really good this month! I've also been eating healthy and I've been cooking more my phone usage has also been reduced by a lot. sure none of them have had a perfect streak but i started at zero and it feels like I've levelled up quite a bit. the exercise component has been a bit difficult to maintain given my workload :/ i need to figure out what to do about that...

yep. that's it for now. this month really tired me out, I think im gonna lay off daily challenges for a while. For now I guess I'll stick to my (bi?tri?)weekly tracker posts xD

#20doa🚲#studyspo #queued #18dayht #studyblr #study motivation #study blog #accountability #studying #student

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aihoshiino · 3 months ago

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Reading spica and about how much Ai wanted a family, specifically twins, sometimes I think about is if she never got into a relationship, how would that have worked...would this girl have gone and adopted twins lol

But even if she only had one child, knowing Ai she would've cherished and spoiled them just as much (still makes me wonder about her reaction from I want twins -> I got one child) Maybe get another sibling for this child...possibilities are so endless, I have an unhealthy amount of obsession over this lovable, amazing character...HELP

I'm going to be fully honest and admit that. i. don't really take anything from the spica epilogue into account when aiposting LSKKNSKSJS. In general, Spica falls flat for me in most regards but the OMG WOULDN'T IT BE CRAAAAZY IF I HAD TWINS SOMEDAY thing is just so hamfisted and so transparently leaning on pre-existing emotional setup from the series it did not earn that I just cannot take it on board as organic, additive characterization LOL. Especially because this idea that Ai always wanted twins/to be a mother full stop… idk it's hard to explain, but it feels kind of gross and in line with the weird misogynistic way Spica handles all the other women, too. I think Oshi no Ko handles Ai's r/s with motherhood in a way I think is really warm and lovely and nuanced but Spica is so shallow it ends up with this really "well of COURSE she wants babies because she's a girl ^_^" ass take on things. KDKSJSSNA SORRY, ANYWAY…. THAT WAS SO NOT WHAT YOU ASKED I'M JUST A HATER

Anyway, the timing of me finally getting around to this ask is funny because I've had second-time mom Ai as a concept on my brain lately… Aqua and Ruby kind of Happened to her and she found an incredible amount of fulfillment in loving and being loved by them, so it's interesting to imagine what a second/planned pregnancy would be like for an older Ai…

I definitely think she would need to be in a long term, committed and happy relationship with someone for it to happen, just because she's so caught up in being Aqua and Ruby's mom that I don't think it would really enter her brain otherwise. But like she says in episode 1, motherhood is so much about creating family and joy for herself and the people she loves and for herself that I do think that if she ever found a second love and they were happy together and in a position to make it happen, she'd want to take that to the logical extent of them having their own kid together. A big family is a happy, busy one, right?

The idea of her adopting a kid is also super interesting… we were chatting about something unrelated on the OnK Brainrot discord when a link was made between Ai being a foster system kid abandoned by her family and Aqua and Ruby being essentially orphaned by her death and it kind of made a little !!! ping in my brain lol. As I've interpreted her, an adult Ai is one who has extremely strong feelings about the responsibility of adults to care for and protect children which leads to her being generally big sisterly/motherly towards kids and teens because she wants to be the kind of adult who was never in her own life. But for some reason, I'd never actually followed that thought through to the idea of her adopting a kid… it's a neat idea though and I think you could do some interesting digging into her own feelings as a kid left behind in the system.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #ai hoshino #onk asks

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atlabeth · 2 years ago

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(i promise) i've felt worse - aleksander morozova

part 1

summary: you begin to adjust to your life in ravka, desperate to leave your past behind. the darkling will not let you forget so easily.

a/n: i have darkling brainrot rn it's unhealthy. cannot stop thinking abt these two so this may become a series idk. lmk what you think.

wc: 3.6k

warning(s): ravkan and fjerdan religion (there may be inaccuracies though), darkling manipulation, not fluff or angst but a secret third thing

title is from starry eyes by the weeknd

The Darkling departed soon after your agreement, leaving you shaken and flustered and confused over anything.

My Tidemaker, he called you, as if you were something special. As if you belonged to him merely because he found you.

Yes, you owed him your life and your freedom—if he asked favors of you in exchange for such a feat, you would accept. You wanted nothing more than to be free of your debt, of General Kirigan, so you could work as you were and live as normally as you could.

You were a soldier now—that was your new normal.

Officially a Grisha, a member of the Second Army, a Tidemaker no longer bound to the shadows. Here in Os Alta, in the Little Palace, you’d been freed. You were Fjerdan only by birth, newly Ravkan in your vows.

You felt nothing.

Apart from woefully inadequate, of course, but that was a given. A Fjerdan girl does not become a Grisha darling overnight, but you did not know if you would ever truly grow into your title.

Soldier. Grisha. Tidemaker. The words felt wrong from your lips, even more so from the mouths of others.

Tidemaker, your instructor called you. Grisha, the servants would address. Out of all of them, soldier was the only that felt correct—if you were capable of one thing, it was fighting.

In Fjerda, common folk did not speak of Grisha unless to curse their name. You’d never uttered the word Tidemaker until you got your hands on ancient Ravkan texts and spoke it into existence, when you realized you were the very thing you’d been taught to hate. Anywhere other than beneath sheets in the darkest nights and alone by the lakes practicing under the guise of shadows, it did not exist.

And now you were in Os Alta, a supposed sanctuary for Grisha, and you were meant to live in the way that your blood called for. You’d signed your life away to Ravka, to the Second Army and the King and the Darkling himself in order to become a part of it, and yet you didn’t feel anything other than a keen numbness.

Numb because the life you’d signed away was akin to nothing. Numb because you had no one out there that would miss you, that would write every so often asking how you were faring. Numb because you had no choice and he knew it.

But you were alive, and you would continue to live, Tidemaker and Grisha and soldier aside.

That was all that mattered.

This made it real, you thought uncomfortably.

The room, the clothes— it was real enough, you supposed, but too easy to see it as temporary. A room you were merely borrowing, clothes that had been passed on from your brother who’d outgrown them.

But the kefta, pale waves spiraling over blue fabric, made perfectly to your measurements by Fabrikators you’d never even met—that was real. It could belong to none other than you.

The Darkling placed the order soon after your vow, and it arrived far quicker than you expected.

You couldn’t deny it anymore. You were Grisha, and you were going to live like it.

And so you put on your kefta and buckled your belt and laced up your boots, then you walked out to the beginning of the rest of your life.

You survived your first day, and then you survived your first week, and now you were well into surviving your first month. You were thrown into the deep end immediately, but you managed. You were nothing if not a fighter, after all.

There were fewer Tidemakers at the Little Palace than you expected, but all of them welcomed you with easy smiles and kind words. One near your age, a girl named Anya, warmed up to you immediately, and you were surprised at how eagerly you took to her friendship.

You’d been alone for so much of your life, banished by those who were meant to care for you and demonized by your own people, and now you were surrounded by others just like you, ones who held no malice towards you. Who accepted you.

You hadn’t anticipated how much you would crave the presence of the other Tidemakers once you’d met them, but it certainly helped with your adjustment.

Anya was native Ravkan, hailing from Kribirsk. She’d been at the Little Palace for ten years, discovered when she was nine. She served with pride and honor, she’d told you, and that she couldn’t imagine doing anything else.

(“I’ve witnessed the effects of the Shadow Fold first hand,” she’d murmured. “If I can help piece Ravka back together in any kind of way, I’ll do it without question.”)

Your fellow Tidemakers also included Esen and Batu, brother and sister refugees from Shu Han who had fled into Ravka together—they made their way to Os Alta three years ago, successfully petitioned the Darkling for a place in his army, and they’d been there ever since.

Ivan, a tall man from Polvost, was half-Fjerdan on his father’s side. It was good to have someone in your corner, one who’d gone through some of the same conflicts as you. It was also quite entertaining to see his head perk up everytime someone called for the other Ivan, a Heartrender and one of the Darkling’s favored Grisha.

…Right.

The Darkling.

The man who had saved your life, the man who had brought you into the fold—he was seen as a savior by many of the Grisha you’d conversed with, and you supposed they had a point. He was immensely powerful, built the Little Palace as a place of salvation, and continuously fought for the good of both Ravka and its Grisha.

You just… you did not know what to make of him.

You were adjusting relatively well to your new life, that was true, but you knew your feelings towards him would not be so benign if you had come from anything else. If you had a family back in Fjerda, friends in your village, a lover who you would never see again, this would be a much worse fate.

But maybe that was why so many served without complaint. Countless Grisha here had little to their name, persecuted in other countries or living in Ravka with nothing. Honorable service for your country while living in one of the few sanctuaries with everything provided was a much better deal than a penniless life on your own.

The Darkling seemed to have some… some strange interest in you, for you saw him in the margins far too often.

You remember your first day of training, when you were fighting against a Squaller—you looked up when your partner was down, catching your breath for just a moment, and he was there on the walkway above the grounds, watching you.

It caught you so off guard that your partner took you by storm, and a punch to your face and a sweep of your legs had you groaning on the ground. By the time you’d collected yourself, when your partner offered a hand and pulled you up, he was gone.

When Batu asked what was wrong later that day, you didn’t know how to respond to her.

You frequently saw him during your walks to lessons and mealtimes, and though you never looked at or said anything to him and always kept a steady pace, you always felt his eyes on you. He stopped you once, and it was so unexpected to hear your name on his lips that you muttered a hasty excuse on being late for training. To your surprise, he let you go.

Having the Darkling’s eyes on you added more to your anxieties. It was already too much going from Fjerdan outcast to Grisha practically overnight—you did not need him watching you so frequently.

You were adapting, but it was all overwhelming—too much of everything for a girl who came from nothing.

Perhaps that was why you found yourself in the church.

You didn’t know the Little Palace had one, but you supposed it made sense. From what you’d read, some of Ravka’s revered Saints were Grisha in life. Legend spoke of the mythical Sun Summoner, who could destroy the wretched Shadow Fold, save Ravka, and bring Grisha salvation.

If that was not a Saint, you did not know what was.

You’d always harbored some respect for Ravka and its Saints, even when you were young. You followed Djel like your family did when you were young, but somehow, you got your hands on Ravkan books and learned what you could of Saints.

It felt… oddly like sanctuary, especially when you first discovered your abilities. Even more so when you went out on your own, the belief that life could be better for someone like you keeping you going.

You think it was what led you to them in the first place, a shimmer of light clearing the darkness of Fjerdan suppression to grant you the first shred of power that had been in your veins all along.

“I did not expect to find you here.”

You were jarred out of your thoughts, and though your heart spiked in your chest you didn’t move, your gaze remaining on the tapestry of Sënje Ulla. Sankta Ursula, rather—if you were meant to be Ravkan, you would have to worship like one.

“I didn’t know you were looking,” you responded quietly.

“I am the reason you are here,” the Darkling said. You heard him drawing closer, padded footsteps across the carpeted floor. “I feel a responsibility to look after you.”

You huffed, finally turning to face him. His perfection was effortless, with his black kefta and styled hair and dignified poise, his hands folded behind his back. Worlds apart from you, and yet for some reason he allowed you in his presence. He sought you out. “Allow me to relieve you of that weight, General. I’m perfectly alright on my own.”

“It is not a weight, nor an obligation. I do it of my own volition.” His eyes remained on you, but it was as if he looked past you, through you—the Darkling was an apt designation, for everything about the man was unnerving. “How have you been adjusting? I haven’t had the chance to ask.”

You shrugged, crossing your arms around your midsection. “Well enough.”

Again, the smallest of smiles. “I’m glad. Are your accommodations to your liking?”

“The room is bigger than the house I grew up in, and I’ve spent the past few months sleeping in blizzards,” you said. “They are more than enough, General.”

“It is what you deserve,” Kirigan said. You didn’t think you would ever get used to his disposition, how he seemed to so fully believe every word he spoke. “You are Grisha—you should get to live like one.”

You stayed silent. The luxury might have made you uncomfortable, but you were not going to speak against it. This was your life now, after all.

“I’ve heard you’ve been training frequently with Squallers and your Tidemakers,” the Darkling said. Though he looked unbothered at his role in filling your silence, he would not lead this conversation.

“Yes,” you said, grudgingly taking the unsaid hint. “It was…” you sighed, allowing the smile to tug at your lips. “It was amazing, truly. To be around others like me without fear.”

The lines of his face softened at that, just slightly. “Good. Are the Grisha taking well to you?”

“Well enough,” you repeated. “I’ve found friends in all the Tidemakers. As for the rest, I mind my own. They have no problem with me.”

Kirigan frowned, and he took another few steps closer. “You don’t need to merely mind your own. You are one of them.”

“Do not try and force friendship beyond what it is,” you said, voice stilted. “I am content with this, General. I will be housed and clothed and fed, and I’m far from those that wish to hurt me. I never sit alone at mealtimes, and I’ve smiled more this week than I have in many years. This is far more than I could ever ask for.”

The Darkling looked as if he wanted to object, but you didn’t give him the chance.

“I’m here to serve Ravka and the King,” you said, “correct?”

“Correct,” he answered.

“Then I see no problem.”

He watched you, gaze all-encompassing, stoic as ever. That was what bothered you about the General more than anything—you could not read him, no matter how you tried, but it felt as if he could see right through your every word.

“What brought you here?” Kirigan eventually asked. “I did not think you would be interested in our Saints when you have a God of your own.”

“I… have a strange relationship with Djel,” you said after a moment of hesitation.

The Darkling looked on with interest. “Oh?”

“Fjerdans believe the world is connected through its waters, that they feed Djel and are fed by Him in turn,” you said. “You can imagine the turmoil I went through when I discovered my abilities.”

Somehow, the Darkling’s eyes softened. “Split between two worlds.”

You nodded. “At first, my parents believed it was a blessing from Djel Himself—a daughter able to control the very waters that He provided, a reward for putting up with a girl instead of a second son. And then they realized I was not a blessing, but a curse.”

“They did not hurt you,” the Darkling said, an unexpectedly dangerous edge to his voice, “did they?”

Your smile wasn’t much of one, rather a flattening of your lips into a thin line. “No. They merely banished me.”

His brows knit together. “I’m sorry.”

“They tried to adapt, but it’s not an easy feat to undo decades of rhetoric.” You shrugged. “They would’ve put a knife in my heart while I slept had I not left willingly, I’m sure. It was not as if I had much choice.”

“Your brother,” he said. “What of him?”

At that, you could not help but laugh, mirthless and numb. “He had no idea. He was off training to become a drüskelle.”

“You’ve always been surrounded by enemies,” he murmured.

“My family is not the enemy,” you said quietly. “Just misguided.”

The Darkling laughed, something cold and sharp and unsettling. “Yes. The desire to put a dagger in their daughter’s heart is misguided.”

Your throat bobbed. A part of you still loved your family, despite everything they had done—everything they hadn’t done. You didn’t know whether that made you weak, stupid, or sentimental. You didn’t think you wanted the Darkling’s view on it.

“Do you find our Saints a worthier subject?” Kirigan asked in your silence. “They’re not a symbol of hatred, so surely they’re held in higher regard.”

You met the Darkling’s eyes once more, and yet again you saw nothing. Whether he was trying to gauge you or judge you or, for some saintsforsaken reason, truly wanted to know you, you had no clue, and it was frustrating beyond belief.

“Yes,” you finally said. “If only because I see myself in them.”

His eyebrows rose. “Oh?”

“All of your Saints, they were normal people while alive. They walked among us just as anyone else. Only in martyrdom did they ascend.” You looked around at all the tapestries. “It is far easier to connect with someone who used to be just as you rather than a faceless God, whether it hated you or not.”

“Sankta Ursula of the Waves, for example,” you said, glancing back at the woman in front of you. “We know her as Sënje Ulla. In your story, the Fjerdans believed her to be possessed by demons simply because she worshiped the Saints. They tried to drown her—”

“But she survived. The city was destroyed in her wake,” the Darkling finished. “I know it well.”

When you looked back at him, his jaw was clenched, eyes narrowed ever so slightly. Just as quickly, the hard lines smoothed out, and you were left back where you started.

“…Yes,” you said. “I feel some connection to her, a woman persecuted for something out of her control. How they tried to destroy her, but it only led to their own downfall.”

“Do you look up to her because it’s something you wish for?” the Darkling asked. “Harm to befall those against you.”

You frowned, expecting the answer to immediately fall from your lips, but instead it lodged in your throat.

“It is not a bad thing to want,” he said softly.

“It is not what I want,” you countered quickly. “Not— not exactly. I want safety— I want asylum. I was raised in a country that wanted me dead. You cannot blame me for wanting the same.”

“I don’t blame you.” Again, he spoke in that frustratingly level tone, voice irritatingly understanding. It made your teeth itch, your skin crawl. He was too… too nice, for a man of his reputation and standing.

And so you asked.

“Why are you doing this?” Your voice was strained, your unease betraying itself.

“Doing what?” he asked, and you hated how genuine he made it sound. How he always questioned you to keep his strength and acted as if he merely wanted to know.

“Indulging me,” you muttered. “You’ve just met me, and yet you follow me around, validating my every word. I am not worth this, General. I don’t understand why you won’t just leave me be.”

“…The same reason that you found yourself here tonight,” Kirigan said. “I am able to connect with you.”

“That is ridiculous,” you huffed. “You’re the most powerful Grisha in the world, and I’m some… some stray that you picked up out of pity.”

“It was not pity,” the Darkling frowned. “You needed help. We gave it to you.”

“And I’m thankful for it,” you said. “But there is no need for anything more. You could have left after your recruiting tactics and remained cordial, and it would have been the same.”

“I see something in you,” he murmured, and his words sent chills down your spine. “You may not, but I do. You are powerful, yes, but your potential is… breathtaking.”

“You act as if you know everything about me, General,” you said wryly. “But did you know that I am afraid of drowning?”

“Most fear drowning because they have no way of escape,” the Darkling said. He’d closed the distance without your knowledge, and when you glanced he was just behind you. “You control the seas themself. How could you fear them?”

“Do you fear the shadows?” you asked.

“No,” Kirigan stated. “I control them.”

“Exactly.” You offered a mirthless smile. “It is one of the cruelest ironies of my life. I do not control the seas. They control me.”

“That is why you are here,” he said. “You will learn to wield the power in your veins rather than fear it.”

“I don’t think I will ever fully conquer that fear,” you said. “But that is a good thing.”

Kirigan’s brows creased slightly. “Why?”

“If I fear the power I wield, I will never use it against those unworthy of its wrath,” you said.

“If you fear your power, you will never be able to unlock your true potential,” the Darkling countered. “If you fear your power, you will lose control even quicker.”

“Fear allows me restraint,” you said.

“It holds you back.” Kirigan took a step closer to you, so close that you could see every detail in his kefta. His presence was stifling, even more so when he held out his hand. “May I?”

Blood pounded in your ears. You offered your hand.

He took it, encasing your hand between his, and you felt the same surge as the other day. Icy fire in your core, the manifestation of your power instantly at your fingertips begging to be let loose.

Your breath caught in your chest.

“That is your power,” Kirigan stated matter-of-factly. “It responds to your call. You control it.”

“How can you do that?” you whispered. It was like your voice wouldn’t go above it, afraid that you would shatter the sanctity.

“I am a living amplifier,” he said softly. “But all I’m doing is showing you what you are truly capable of, if you can move past the fear that paralyzes you.”

“Please let go,” you whispered.

The Darkling complied and you pulled your hand away. The air returned to your chest, your power receded back to its depths, but the cold still remained, creeping over your skin like the permafrost in your homeland.

“Many Grisha struggle with restraint,” he said. “It seems you have the opposite problem.”

“I’ve spent years suppressing myself, General,” you murmured. “It is not easy to undo a lifetime of hatred.”

“Believe me,” Kirigan said quietly, a tight smile pulling at his lips, “I am well aware. Why do you think I built this sanctuary?”

“I’m working at it,” you said. “Why do you think I have not run?”

Some form of amusement seemed to pass through his eyes, and he nodded as he withdrew from you.

“I will leave you to your devices,” the Darkling said. “I hope our talk has done something for you. Enjoy the rest of your night.”

You nodded, the motion slightly numb, and he walked out of the church and left you alone. His presence lingered even in his absence; a stifling sort of power in the air, traces of warmth on your hands.

The most powerful man in Ravka had his eyes on you, believed in your potential so strongly he saved the life of a Fjerdan. You had to meet his expectations, lest he regret the chance he’d given you.

(My Tidemaker, you couldn’t help but think with unease.)

You didn’t want to imagine what would happen if you couldn’t.

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