#Idk if this has been done before but eh it's okay

[taruruchi]

Okay, guys, new game

Rb and put in the tags whose handwriting yours is most similar to !!

The above pic is from @/twstassets here

[ilkkawhat]

for some reason this is all i could think about on my way home from work

[karlachismylife]

Wrote the intro the day I started this work and decided to leave it since it reflects the shitstorm in my head quite well, eh.

Okay Idk what it is with me today (I actually do know, I'm having a bad fucking night as a consequence of my own actions but I prefer not to think about it), but I just thought about task force 141 and reader that has such a bad withdrawal after their orgasm that they actually cry and not in a fun way (cue my lack of understanding how crying in bed can ever be fun, but i'm not here to kinkshame)

CW: NSFW (so minors and ageless blogs DNI, I'll block you), but there's barely any sex, hurt/comfort, body image issues, low self-esteem, chubby/fat!reader, written with afab!reader in mind (but most parts can be read as gn), potential mental health issues (?), thoughts of selfloathing and selfharm, smoking mentioned once at the end. Very self-indulgent and I'm definitely unwell, so yeah. It's also more focused on reader's inner shitstorm than the guys in many places so idk if this even really is enjoyable...

Starts as a single piece, then splits into individual blurbs/drabbles/oneshots + some polyamory cuz I'm spoiling myself today having done nothing to deserve it, lol.

They vary in size and tone since I've been writing them through several ups and downs in my own mental state, so please don't take this as a sign of which characher/combo is my favourite. I'm greedy, I like everything.

This is unfair.

Like, you just had wonderful sex, probably came more than once in a short period of time, ears stuffed with cotton, limbs weak, head spinning... and it keeps spinning, sweet tingling on the skin turning into nasty rushes of cold, muscles too tense, but it's not a cramp.

You feel like shit, every possible hormonal and neuromediator crash downing on you, a hollow, depressing weight in your chest instead of a sweet afterglow. Sweat and cum feel disgusting on you skin, your skin feels disgusting, strangling, your whole body seems revolting, too heavy, too sluggish. A sticky, suffocating heatwave on your nape, but your chest is cold and covered in goosebumps, a feverish feeling clogging every pore. Nausea wrenches into your stomach and stops just before you can relievingly barf and get rid of this parasite inside.

You simply want to dig your nails into your own shoulders instead of his and rip the skin and meat off, free yourself from this burden (you're the burden). Each second as he stays blissfully unaware, holding you tightly with his big hands and panting into the crook of your neck, drags on like a hundred hours of pure torture - the torture of being yourself.

Throwing up feels like an appropriate reaction to how unappealing and ugly you feel.

You're spiraling. You couldn't fucking keep your own messed up emotional outburst - completely unreasonable and unprovoked, by the way - to yourself, and now it's going to be noticed. You'll ruin someone else's fun. Make it all about yourself when you've already been nothing but doted on, cared and provided for. Fucked so good that your body is still clenching around that magnificent cock deep inside you.

And you're fucking crying, like an ungrateful, egotistical brat. Never having enough, unable to provide something as simple as a hole to make someone else happy without fucking it up.

Ghost notices immediately. There's nothing that can escape this man, and definitely not his love's distress. He's not reacting immediately for a sole reason: he's frozen in fear, horrified that he made you cry. How - he's not sure, he always takes great care to stay within limits, never allows himself to push you further than you both agree on. But what if he slipped up? What if he got carried away? Did he cause pain? Did he say something hurtful in the heat of the moment?

"Fuck. Hey, hey, lovie... look at me... wha's wrong? Did I... did I hurt ya?" Good thing you're hiding your face and your red eyes so desperately that you can't see how distressed and downright terrified Simon looks, lost at the sight of your tears. When you shake your head and attempt to push him away to hide your pathetic sobbing, he somewhat calms down and brings his big calloused hands to cradle your face, gently prying your own palms away and holding your puffy cheeks tenderly. His thumbs brush your tears away as he holds you, holds you through the growing rage fit of touch aversion, through the shudders and actual wailing. At some point he moves his palm to cover your eyes, a dry, dark blinder to keep the world around you shut out, help you concentrate on his voice.

He's not talking, just humming, a familiar, deep, grumbling noise that soothes all the flashes of anger, hate and disgust in your brain. You're tired now, like you're always are after such an intense outburst, and as you go limp, he finally pulls away, only to pick you up - barely a strain, a direct spit in the face of your own insecurity - and bring you to the bathroom. A warm shower evens your distorted body temperature out, his hands running over your body and cleaning all the stickiness away bring back peace with your own skin. After a quick rinse Simon holds you, your head cradled against his chest, until you make a weak attempt to help him wash too - he lets you trace his body, that perfection you adore with all its old wounds, sores and scars, for a bit, and then finishes himelf.

Gives you fresh cotton underwear and his hige T-shirt, still holding you around your shoulders and keeping the comfortable pressure even while he changes the bedsheets, kissing your temple as you find it in yourself to help.

It's only after you settle on top of him, nice, clean comforter protecting your back against the world, head on his chest right next to his heart beating in a steady rythm, he finally breaks silence.

"Need anything else, lovie?" Just like that. No prying, no occusations, nothing that would put you on the spot. You can ask him to bring you the moon soaked in unicorn's milk, and he'll just nod, kiss your hand and start dressing up, already calling Johnny to ask where the fuck did Scots hide their last horned horse and if he happens to know where they enlist astronauts.

"Just you."

His grip on the small of your back tightens and you feel his uneven, scarred lips graze the top of your head.

"Ya've got me. Always."

Soap is running hot like a furnace, still shivering and panting after what he considers the best sex he has ever had (every time with you is). He lifts his face, buried into the crease of your neck previously, and starts peppering you with slightly sloppy, grateful kisses - your neck, your jaw, your lips, your...

When he tastes your tears and opens his unbelievably blue eyes to see your expression contorted in disgust, he panics. Pulls away immediately, hands both itching to grab you and shake a reason for that look on your face out of you and too scared to touch you in case this hatred is directed at him.

"Whit's wrong, leannan? Are ye a'right? Ye didnae lik' it? Shite, lass, Ah'm so sorry, Ah didnae mean tae-" He stops yapping only when he notices the way your lips tremble as you try to plead with him, sobbing that it's not his fault.

"'M sorry, I ruined it... I'm so sorry, sushine, I just... fuck I wish I wasn't so bloody sick in the head and ugly..." Speaking out loud only worsens your anger, directed solely at yourself, and you try to wipe your eyes furiously. As the tears keep rolling, your frustration only grows - maybe if you yanked your own hair really good or slapped the disgusting pudgy cheek you've despised ever since chidhood as everyone kept pointing out how big they were...

"Ye didnae just call the love of mah fucking life ugly." Johnny's voice is a mix of a harsh order to cut your bullshit and pure disbelief. His huge paws wrap themselves around your wrists, stopping you both from harming yourself and covering your face. You're forced to look at him, and as you do, you see his handsome face flushed with a passionate anger at the intrusive thoughts in your head, heavy frown in his thick eyebrows and the sea in his eyes dark and deep enough to drown a whole fleet. You'd be scared if it wasn't obvious how hurt he is underneath it all - like a kid whose favourite plushie just got mocked by his classmates.

"It's just a toy," adults would say, and they would be bloody wrong.

"Tis not a toy, tis mah friend."

You're his friend. His love. His heart, his soul, his everything - he whispers that frantically, kissing you over and over, hot palms running over your body, wiping the cold, the stickiness, the goosebumps away. You don't have time to think, to spiral again, you're drowning in that exact sea that's spilling from his eyes, staring at you with pure devotion - a sea of affection, admiration, love, love, love.

Johnny nuzzles up to you like an animal seeking comfort, hides into your chest, right after he kisses your sweaty double chin, breathes in deeply, lets go of your soft shoulders only to grab two handfuls of your tummy, kneading it, warming up the stale blood, squeezing your big thighs between his and getting lost in the frenzy - he honestly doesn't even remember already that he was comforting you, he's fully in the worshipping mode, leaving you no chance to dip even a single toe into the self-conscious thoughts again.

You'll just have to stay there, every single tear lapped up from your face, and accept every greedy touch and word of a man utterly in love with you. Even the messed up parts.

Gaz keeps his cool despite how distraught even the thought of your sadness makes him. First of all he moves aside to give you space, makes sure you're not hurt, asking in his usual kind - unbelievably kind, so much that you burst into tears again, feeling undeserving of such unapologetically soft treatement, tone.

"Shh, shush, gorgeous, you're not hurt, are you? It's okay, c'mere, jus-st like tha', very good, love," praises keep spilling from his tender lips as he carefully helps you sit up, simply dragging you away from the damp from sweat and everything else spot on the sheets. He ends up balancing half his bare ass off the edge of the bed, but it doesn't bother him in the slightest as he feels you already coming back from that hopeless place as soon as your body gets stuck between clean, dry and a bit cool sheet and Kyle's firm lean body of a litearal god - or a prince, at least.

His deft fingers are already at work, massaging your scalp, chasing the tension away, but the second he feels you grow uncomfortable with the repetitive movement, he stops and retreats to simply holding you in a steady, reliant embrace. You know he's good with his words, that's how he got you, swept off your feet completely and made you swoon with sweet compliments, hilarious snark and smart talk.

You just don't expect him to do it all over again in the face of your burdened mind crumbling in the paradise.

"Talk to me, angel. Let me inside that pretty head, hm?"

It takes this sweettalker just a couple of words to coax whatever that ugly, slimy knot in your throat is, out. You sob, retelling Kyle every single thought that has been stuck in that coagulated mess in your head, spill the bile that has been burning your retching throat, out in the open, for him to see the disgusting ugliness of your insides - matching your outside.

Somehow throughout your choking trade his soft, careful hand never leaves your back, rubbing circles of different radius and intensity into your skin to keep the aggression at monotonous touch at bay.

"Must've been some terrible person to overbear your spirit and plant all those lies in your mind, angel." You don't catch the meaning of his words at first, glancing at him confused and whoozy after you exploded with self-deprication. Those dark, calm eyes look at you no different than before: quiet, calm reverence and determination. A thread of spider's silk, thin as a hair, but stronger than steel, his love does not waver. Were you in the right state to actually pay attention, you would've seen it only grow.

"Well, beautiful, this isn't how I planned to start writing poetry, but since you insisted... maybe I can think of a diss track about you."

"A diss track?.." Poor you, so upset that you can't catch onto the mischievous glint in his eyes and that silly smooth sarcasm slipping into his words. You're actually half a step away from believing he would diss you, destroying that already non-existent self-esteem once and for all.

"Yup. Gotta diss-tract you from all that bullshit in your head for good. Unless you'd rather me fuck it out of you instead?"

You cannot not smile at that, even if it's a weak, timid smile. Kyle's face still lights up as if he sees an actual angel, bringing the good grace or whatever.

"There ya go. First step of the mission? Success. Permission to continue? I repeat, permission to continue?"

"You spend too much time with Simon. Permission granted..."

Price undrstands what's going on before he even hears your first sob, the tension in your body and the change in your breath telling him all he needs to know. There's enough experience in this man for the both of you, he has learnt to read people and immediately accomodate them in a way that serves a common goal so long ago that it's a secong nature already.

Your comfort is that common goal.

With a grunt, he rolls you over, planting you firmly on top of his warm, burly body. Untucking your head from his hairy chest, he holds your face and does not let you concentrate on anything but his stern, focued gaze under those bushy eyebrows - but there's still that undeniable tenderness in his eyes that's always there whenever John looks at you.

His voice sounds usual too: a calm, commanding, but not harsh tone, not a loud bark any of his subordinates would hear, yet still an order. "Look at me, darling. Tha's right, look at me, look at your John. You shut whatever's going through that troubled mind of yours out and let me take care of the rest, a'right? Can you do that for me, darling? I know you can. I'll do all the thinking for ya, eh?"

Giving control over to him feels natural at any other moment, but right now you're too deep in the trenches of the war with your own mind, hissing at you with pure disgust for being so selfish. Really, now? Had to use this sweet, caring man for your own needs, and now you're dumping all your perverted, fucked up baggage on him too?

"Nuh-huh, ya're still thinking. Told ya to cut if off. You know that's not you thinking right now, dontcha? You're a smart one, love, ya know shit like this happens. And when shit happens, who are you going to to deal with it, huh?" His deep voice rumbles in his chest, seeps into your clogged ears, fills your skull with the unyielding determination and leaves no room for your own dark thoughts.

When you hesitate to answer, John slides his rough palms over your back, tracing your soft rolls and landing onto the pudge of your hips, squeezing lightly to remind you who's in charge and what your task is. "Who is there for ya to deal with shit that happens, hm, darling? Need ya to tell me."

You want to hide, escape his demand for an answer, but he keeps you firmly in his embrace, a gaze of steel unmoving from you. It almost makes you tear up again, almost feels mean of him to put you on the spot, when all you want to do is curl up in a dark corner and stay there for all eternity. But the love you have for this man overpowers even the seething hatred you bear for yourself, so you give up and murmur meekly: "You..."

"Tha's right, darling, it's your John. I'm here to deal with everything that bothers ya. Everything, ya hear? Tha's me job. Your job is to stay wit' me 'n' not overthink, eh? Especially not when it's just hormons making ya feel bad." You have nothing else left to do, other than sniffle into his chest and melt under a warm kiss he plants on your crown. "How about a cuppa, eh, darling? And something just as sweet as ya for a bite. Ya'll feel better in no time, I promise."

Ghost and Soap cancel each other's panicking out. As soon as both you and Simon slip out of the sweet afterglow, falling backwards each into your own pit of self-doubt and spiraling, Johnny starts babbling, terrified at the thought of both his beloved people feeling worse after being with him. His slurred, panting words and frantic kisses help Simon shake of his own horror - in return, he squeezes Johnny's shoulder to slow the worried mutt down and redirect his energy into helping you. Soap tenses up under the firm touch of his Lieutenant, then relaxes again, leaning into him for a moment to collect himself - they charge from each other, mere seconds of feeding off each other's energies in the middle of a time-limited mission with the highest stakes: your well-being.

They exchange glances, no words needed after the way their work together almost makes them mindreaders to each other, and turn back to you as you lay there, face painfully contorted in an attempt to keep the black foamy bile you feel rising in your throat from spilling. Slow, sticky, angry tears run down your flabby cheeks, and with each millimetre they go, your scalding wish to gouge your eyes out with your bare hands grows, just to punish yourself for being ungrateful after two perfect men spent so much of their time making you feel good.

"Dinnae cry, bonnie. Ye're a'right, ye're 'ere, wit' us. Right, LT? We're nae gonnae let ye marinate in whitevur got ye so upset." The pressure from inside your body that threatened to burst you open into a messy explosion of bile and rot, gets evened out from outside by Johnny's tight hug. He squeezes you up to the painful point, cradling against his broad chest, holding the fort while Simon leaves the bed, but not without kissing both your palms and holding them against his lips until he feels the cold leave your fingertips.

"Oi, Johnny. Help lovie get in 'ere," he calls out several minutes later out of the bathroom. Soap, who has been holding you and allowing you to sob against his heart this whole time, stroking your sweaty hair and murmuring every word of love he knows, scoops you up immediately. He pads over with you in his arms to where a warm bath is already filled thanks to Simon, and when you react to the temperature with another wave of tears, they both reach out to the tap simultaneously.

"Is tha' a'right, bonnie?" You make a strangled noise as Johnny finally sets you down into much cooler now water. It soothes you, makes you feel instantly cleaner, smaller, lighter. Breathing gets easier, that swollen blob of anger and disgust shrinking down in your chest and allowing you to inhale bathroom's damp air normally. You open your mouth to apologize and get cut off before even a single syllable leaves your mouth.

"Don't," Simon's voice sounds gruff, but even his murky reflection in the rippling water looks genuinely soft towards you. They're both perched on the cold bath edge, naked and seemingly not caring about that at all. "Jus' let us take care of you, yeah, love? Tha's what we're here for. Tha's what we want to do."

"Well, actually, there's one more thing," Johnny interjects, causing you to finally lift your sullenly lowered head and look at him, Simon's big palm using this moment of distraction to press onto your back in silent support. "Can Ah make ye a foam beard? Please, bonnie? Ye jus' 'ave the prettiest sweetest cheeks fur tha'."

Soap and Gaz feel like their world is sinking into a whirlwind of stormy clouds, the kind that sucks all light out of sky in mere seconds and can't be cut through even by blinding flashes of lightnings. There is no sun in their skies if you're not smiling, and the sound of your muffled sniffles hits their eardrums harder than thunder or explosions. The frowns distorting their faces only make you more self-aware of the fact that you ruined things between you - the initial hysteria starts rapidly flowing into complete shutdown, threatening to turn you into an emotionless shell for unknown period of time, when several warm, big hands intervene and cut the depressing trajectory down at its root.

"Damn, we did a shit job fucking all your thoughts out, didn't we, angel?" Kyle's joke sounds soft, teasing, but empathetic, ready to be met with sobs or silence instead of the usual laughter that flashes your teeth at him and makes his own smile grow brighter.

"Aye, we did. If anythin', Ah think we put more thoughts intae 'ere instead," Johnny scratches his head dramatically, and then you feel his big, hot palm on you sweaty forehead, as if he's trying to get a feel of the thoughts inside your skull. It doesn't linger there for long, though, rough fidgety fingers digging into your hair and tugging at the roots. This makes the hot-and-cold collar around your nape unclench, uncouth and chaotic massage confidently pulling every ounce of anger out of your brain. From time to time his calloused palm slips lower, squeezing your scruff, wiping the cool sweat away and taking control over what seems to have escaped your own.

"How does it feel to be the first person to get knocked up mentally, love? Having any cravings yet? Feeling your brainworms kick yet?" Dry cotton comforter suddenly covers your exposed to be looked at with disdain body, and before you can choke out a protest and something about you being sweaty and sticky and disgusting, Kyle grips your shoulders firmly, rubbing up and down as he slowly helps you sit up a bit.

"Ye eejit, how dae ye think thay can kick? They're brainworms, thay dinnae hae any legs!" The sheer passion in Johnny's heated counterarguement does the impossible - makes the corners of your deeply upset mouth twitch against all the weight the sadness put on them. Your knights in shining (from all the sweat your lovemaking covered them with) armor of their own warm skin seem to not notice the slightest twitch of your lips - there's no excessive attention drawn to you, none of them puts you on the spot. Their touch isn't going anywhere, but it almost seems mindless, simply their need to have something soft and pleasant to squeeze in their restless hands. "'N' wasnae Mary th' first lassie tae get up th' duff through th' heid?"

"That wasn't mentally, that was spiritually, read your books, Soap," scoffs Kyle, as if it was the most obvious thing, and ducks just in time to avoid a pillow thrown at him with sniper's precision.

"Oi, ye sayin' Ah cannae read now?!" Whatever snarky retort Kyle was ready to shoot, gets wiped out as Johnny tackles him, barely avoiding pushing all three of you off the bed. Their scuffle consists of chokeholds and sneaky kisses, legs getting caught in the sheets and somehow tangling you into the mess too.

Until you laugh, finding yourself squished into Johnny's hairy chest with Kyle in a gently headlock somewhere under your arm.

"Hey, hey, careful, mate, our lovie's expecting, we can't just throw 'em around!" However obvious that deflection is, Johnny reacts as if you were actually with child and grabs your face, boring his eyes into yours, slowly widening his two blue lochs in pretend horror.

"Och naw! Ah think we lost 'em, Ah cannae see nothin' there now!" Flushed after the playfight, you avert your gaze, still a trace of self-consciousness about yout outburst somewhere deep inside, but none of the "brainworms" that clogged your insides in sight indeed. Johnny's little drama earns him a soft nip on his thumb from you, and he smiles at you, clearly satisfied with the effect their little scheme had.

"Aw, damn, and here I was, ready to hear the pitter-patter of 'em little feet," Kyle's warm lips somehow find their way to kiss your temple, eliciting another shy giggle.

A pillow crashes onto both of you with the force of a small bombshell.

"THAY DINNAE HAE FEET, GARRICK, THAY'RE WORMS!"

Price and Gaz fall into their usual ways seamlessly, responsibilities and tasks split between the two seemingly without even any verbal communication. Clearing out the space around you with the same quick efficiency they clear out enemies with, they prop you up on some pillows, assess your condition in case they got carried away and hurt you, and finally settle on both sides of you, warm hands on your knees squeezing softly.

"Are ya gonna talk to us now, lovie? Or will we have to use interrogation tactics to learn what made our love so upset?" John's voice bears no trace of threat, but it still makes you cower and try to take up even less space that your curled up body already has, which earns you a sigh from the Captain. "I see. Take over from here, Sergeant. I expect results once I return."

The matress sighs with relief a Price's weight leaves it, bare feet padding a few steps before he reaches his slippers and leaves the room. The pit that the sound of your bedroom's door closing opens in your chest is crushing your ribcage with the iron fist of vacum. You can't blame John for not willing to deal with your bullshit, but the hearbreak only reenforces the choking smog in your head that's rasping in a hundred different voices that the only thing you deserve is pure repulsion.

Kyle's soft thumb pads wipe the tears teetering on the arrows of your lashes, and in a smooth movement you find your face cupped and pulled close to his shoulder. His smooth skin sticks to your wet cheek and you find yourself crying like a little kid, the unbearable pain of the revolting dark knots inside somehow replaced with surprisingly more bearable grief over what you consider an ending reltionship. Perhaps John leaving our bed finally shattered your heart, letting the ungodly pressure out and allowing it to beat - and bleed - again.

"We'd really like if ya talked to us, angel. Don't think Captain can stand there bare-ass naked much longer, might catch rheumatism at this point, he's not getting younger, you know..."

"I hope you know I can hear you perfecrly clear, Garrick." You stop mid-sniffle, eyes snapping to the closed door. You can finally see the shadow of a man standing just outside, and the air slowly feels with some flavour you can't distinguish through all the snot yet, but seem to like a lot...

"Good, so your hearing's still intact, sir. You're in good shape," Kyle's cheeky remark must've broken John's famous patience and restraint, because the bedroom door finally opens, and you see him there. With a tray with a whole bunch of tea mugs and little plates of treats balanced in his hands.

"Still not talking? Well, we'll try another method then, lovie. Sandwich for your thoughts, eh?"

His cheeks are round with a kind smile, confusing your tortured mind even further - Kyle uses your stupor to fetch John's big, slightly scratchy bathrobe, successfully wrapping you into a cocoon of grounding stimulation all over your feverish skin. With a huff and a grumble about staying butt-naked a bit longer, John puts a pleasantly warm mug into your hands and looks at you, arms crossed and tucked into his armpits now that he got rid of the tray.

Expecting an answer.

"'M sorry..." seems appropriate right up to the moment when a little finger-sandwich gets shoved into your mouth. The bread is soft, nice, salty ham and crunchy cucumber filling your senses and cracking a bit fat line of light right in the middle of the dense cloud in your thoughts.

"Try again, love," Kyle gives a hint and wipes a crumb off your lips, licking it off his thumb. "We don't need an apology, we just want to know what's troubling ya. John, tell 'em."

"Already did," grumbles Price in response and clears his throat, sitting back down on the creaking bed. "Food's working though. Eat up, darling, get your energy. Then we'll talk properly, a'right?"

You chew slowly, still stiff in your own body, but regaining control gradually. Yes. Then you'll talk.

Ghost and Price exchange a single glance over your from, choking on the self-destructive rage, and John shakes his head so slightly that one can barely notice, but it's clear enough to stop Simon from tumbling down the traumatic spiral staircase of his own. Grounded by his Captain's presence, he shrugs his broad shoulders, shaking off the creeping up feeling of his own monsterous nature, and rolls onto his back, pulling you out of the miserable wet ball of wrinkled sheets and onto his firm lap, sideways, his big palms resting comfortably around your hips; he's not squeezing or digging his fingers into the fat like he usually does, but it's a secure hug you can't really escape.

Exposed held too far away from his chest you could hide on, you shrink, rising your shoulders protectively and trying to cover up your soft belly, spilling over your pelvis in a shapless manner - that's when John's arms come from behind, catching yours and instead of pulling away forcefully, simply repeating your own safety cocoon, hiding your body from your distorted sight and keeping you warm.

"You're not thinking straight right now, darling," every phrase he murmurs gently, calmly, convincingly into your ear is accompanied by a little kiss, beard tickling and burning your already irritated by tears skin. "So good for us, so kind. Can you spare some of that kindness for yourself?"

Even though it doesn't sound like a rhethorical question, Simon cups your cheek and shushes you tenderly, pressing his thumb to your lips, allowing John to continue with his little speech aimed to dispel the storm coagulated in your chest.

"'Cos if not, it's a'right, love. We know it's hard, and ya're doing good already. Ya 'ave us, eh? To love ya, to cherish ya. No need to overthink, jus' let us hold you, a'right?"

He finally pushes you onto Simon's chest, his big heart stuttering with worry as you seek shelter among his many scars that paint a horrifying picture once you put all the fragments together.

"How'd you do that, sir?" Simon's voice sounds vulnerable - so much that it strikes through all the layers of your egocentric self-hatred and shifts you almost immeditely into a completely different mindset; one where you throw your whole self into loving your scarred and battle-worn men in such abundance that it's ought to compensate for all the unfairness they've gone through.

There's no need for it now, you realize a little too late: Price is there, keeping Simon away from the darkness. They're fine. Better than ever. It's a distraction, a trick, a play to make your bleeding heart stop the internal self-destruction and turn to healing.

A sly little switch you're not sure they were planning to flip, but it worked.

"Hm?" As if emerging from the depths of his thoughts in response to Simon's question, John caresses your cheek as gently as his rough thumb can and then smiles, maybe catching onto the change in your mood or simply remembering all the times he pulled Ghost out of the same gloom and darkness. "Jus' taking care of me own, Simon. Tha's what a Captain does, no? Now, love, how about a shower? I reckon we can squeeze in all together and papmer you really good, what do ya say, eh?"

Ghost and Gaz manage to keep their cool. Kyle's confident and gentle presence serves to reassure any doubts Simon has about hurting you, he shoots a single glance at his sergeant and recieves support immediately. Two pair of hands cradle you with all the tenderness two soldiers are capable of, which is always enough to drown you in fully. It's a tight hug, a hot mess of limbs, too much skin on skin contact that makes your brain flare with undirected rage, but as seconds trickle by and you're still trapped between two firm bodies, you have no choice but to slip into the exhaustion phase of your outburst.

It's not pleasant, nor could you say you feel calm; if anything, you just petrify, a permanent frown on your face and blindly staring forward glass eyes. You're tired, you'd still rather be anywhere but inside your own body that still feels like a useless deformed bag that should be gutted and emptied to lighten up, inner layer of your skin scrubbed with a knife to peel off the suffocating thickness of fat trapping this heated rage inside...

Instead, you get a kiss.

It's Kyle, soft, full lips touching your wet with tears cheekbone, then again - your temple, your cheek, the overheated spot behind your ear. They're light, soft kisses, too gentle to be playful or arousing. Calming. They do not demand anything in return - he allows you to stay in your inner world where you feel secure, even pauses to kiss Simon the same way right in front of your eyes. A silent demonstrationg of the love and reverence these pecks carry, Simon's hooded eyes fluttering shut as if his own compartmentalized demons get exorcised by Garrick's touch.

"Wanna talk about it, angel?" Kyle's voice rumbles at a nice, grounding, smooth timbre, and your still-too-slow mind struggles to grasp how is it possible that he's talking and you're still getting kisses - until you recognize the uneven texture of Simon's scarred lips, trailing along your skin tenderly. "Whenever you're ready, love. But we would love to know what's going through your head right now."

It feels strange to say it out lound when you're held and caressed like this, but their kisses and solid embrace cleared your windpipe enough of the mental gunk for you to be able to speak.

"I hate myself... 'M disgusting, and-" A displeased grumbling kiss from Simon interrupts you, and even Kyle pushes his huge shoulder to reprimand his own Lieutenant for the interference. Kisses his temple immediately to make amends, though, and turns back to you, prompting you to continue.

"Wot? Don't like when someone talks shit 'bout mine," grumbles Simon like a dog that got flicked on the nose for growling at welcome guests.

"Let 'em talk, mate, it's good to get things off your chest." At least their little bickering coaxes a tiniest hint of smile out of you, and Simon, noticing it immediately, stares back at Kyle with such pride, as if he just did something great.

The thing is, in the way his arms squeeze you a tad bit tighter, pressing into his firm body, you can read that for him - your smile is the greatest achievement.

"Don't tell me you prefer his silent treatement, angel, I'm trying to be the attentive boyfriend here, and for what?" Your smile grows a little braver. A little brighter. You would've kept talking if you could remember what it was that hurt so fucking much in your chest.

"Shower. Then a cuppa. Then we have the talk." No one dares to argue with the Ghost and his gruff commands. You feel the sheet sticking to your skin as he lifts you up, Kyle already sneaking off to prepare towels and clean clothes for you three. He'll stay with you and help you wash the remaints of the mind attack off. Simon will make fresh tea.

You're going to be alright.

Price and Soap take quite an intense approach the second they notice your distress. You feel Johnny's weight disappear from you after the first strangled sob that escapes you, and if you could open your eyes glued shut by the hot, messy tears, you would see John practically dragging the poor Sergeant away by his scruff. It's easy to suspect that Johnny couldn't contain himself and went too hard, too rough on you - with no malice, but pure passion that's spilling from his big, hot heart every time he gets to be close to you.

But it's not Johnny's fault, neither is it John's. It's all you, a useless, pathetic thing, good for nothing and holding two gorgeous men to yourself like a greedy glutton hoarding delicious food.

"Ah'm sorry, bonnie- ow, Ah got it, Ah got it, Ah'm not touchin'!"

"Did we hurt ya, love? Was Johnny boy too rough wit' ya? Wha's wrong?"

You feel big warm hands gliding over your skin, quick assessment of your state in search of potential harm caused. This immediate care only makes you feel worse, every cold sweaty patch of your disgusting hide shivering and twitching under Captain's careful touch. You struggle against your own spiraling anger, fight it with what's left of your exhausted resilience - and lose, curling up with another burst of tears, shoving the loving hands away and dusting the lingering warmth off your body.

After all, you do not deserve to be treated with such kindness after the fit you just threw.

"No, no, no, it's not his fault, it's not Johnny's... it's me, it's my fault, it's all my fault, I ruin everything, I'm- I'm disgusting!"

The silence that follows you blowing up on them is heavy. Just as bad as the knot in your chest.

"Johnny."

When you open your eyes to find a way out, run away, scatter and hide in the furthest corner of the apartment until everyone who tried caring for you leaves again, you're met with Johnny's bright blue eyes, glistening with unshed tears.

It's a shocking sight, pushing you out of the muffled misery into an alerted worry - his face is red with unexplainable pained anger, fists clenched as John holds him tightly by hunched shouders, seemingly trying to prevent a violent outburst.

"Ah wanntae ken names of th' bastarts who made ye feelin' tis wa'. Ah swear Ah will mak' thaim fuckin' choke oan thair ain tongues, Ah'll rip thair spines oot 'n' shove thaim up thair-" - "Enough, Johnny. Stand down. This won't solve anythin'. Ya calm down and help our lovie feel better, a'right?"

Still a bit shells-hocked, you stir on the bedsheets and push yourself up to sit upright, stretching your arms hesitantly to the men in a weak attempt to remedy whatever shitstorm you caused in their minds.

"Don't get mad, please," you whisper sheepishly, and the shy sound of your still choked voice seems to wash Johnny's explosive anger away better than the firm grip of his handler's (Price's) hands. With a look of a beaten dog, Johnny huffs loudly, cuddlng up to you and hiding his face in your lap. His heavy jaw sinks in the plush of your thighs, accomodated nicely with the softness of your body.

"'M nae mad at ye, leannan. Jus' dinnae say tha' again, a'right, bonnie? If ye need me tae prove ye-"

"No..." your hand finds it place in his damp mohawk and brushes through, while you glance at John. His eyes are shimmering with love and love only as he looks at you and Johnny, and you feel a wave of shyness - the good, giddy, warm kind - replacing the paralyzing shame. "I'm fine already. With you."

"Maybe we should 'ave a little chat 'bout it, love," John's hand meets yours on the sad mutt's head in your lap, intertwinig fingers with you through Johnny's soft hair. "When ya feel better. Jus' so we know what we're dealing with, eh?"

"Yeah. A bit later. Thank you."

All four of your men get frozen witnessing your reaction, struck with a horrifying sense of helplessness - it feels like the biggest failure among many unsuccessful missions, operations where lives were lost and enemies missed, to have you curling up and crying in misery between all the love they've been pouring onto you just mere seconds ago. As if everything they touch is bound to go up in flames, drown in blood and rot, be it on the outside or from the inside.

They're lost, and as always, they turn to the Captain, giving themselves up for him to direct, trusting that he knows better what use they can be of.

And, frankly, he does.

They're barely talking, but the commotion around you is decipherable even through the red mind fog and closed eyes - it honestly only makes you feel worse, unsafe, exposed, despite that simply being Soap, sent off to fill a bath ("Ye want it hot or a tad bit cool, bonnie?" - Silence. Your nails dig into your scalp, the soud of someone simply breathing, even more so talking to you, sending you into a new fit of rage. "Make it warm, Johnny, we'll adjust later."), and Simon, leaving for tea duty - silently, your favourite way to have it attentively observed in the first two weeks you've been together and memorized ever since.

It's Kyle whose voice, murmuring into your ear sweet, reassuring nothings as he keeps you caged in a tight embrace, your back pressed against his warm chest, forces you out of the highly irritable state. You have no choice between his short, chaste kisses on the crown of your overloaded head, and John's calloused hands massaging your calves, soft flesh dipping under the firm pressure.

"Ya jus' focus on fighting tha' storm off, a'right, darling? We'll take care of th' rest. It happens, we know it does, 's not your fault. Jus' a funny lil' thing your mind does, eh? Yeah, love, we know wha' it's like when your mind does funny things. Don't we, Kyle?"

"That we do." Maybe it's just your own depressive state rubbing off on them or distorting your perception, but Kyle's voice sounds almost solemn. You would turn to look into the smoky quartz of his eyes, but either he holds you too tight, or you have barely any strength left in your upset body - you simply can't.

Maybe it's alright. Maybe tonight they don't need you ripping your heart out to tend to their restless minds, and you can just allow them to take care of you.

Allow Kyle to carry you to the bathroom.

Allow John to stay there and help you wash yourself with a nice, scrubby loofah.

Allow Johnny to bring in his huge, baggy loungewear that doesn't hug your curves too snugly and allows you to simply forget what you were so angry about for a while.

Allow Simon to serve you perfect temperature tea in your favourite mug and keep you quiet company on the balcony, night air cooling your wet and clean now skin and hair further and blowing all thoughts out of your troubled head away.

As you share a cigarette with rich clove aftertaste, breathing ironically becomes easier. Behind your back the bedsheets are being changed, proper meal is being cooked, a good movie you won't be upset falling asleep to is being chosen.

"Simon." - "Hm." - "You sure you're okay with me being like that?" - "Standin' in the wind with your hair wet, tryin' to catch a cold?"

You grunt, not appreciating him taking the piss while you're tryig to be vulnerable, but allow him to pull the hood of Johnny's hoodie onto your head.

"No. I mean, fucked up in the head?"

You don't actually know what answer you expect. With an unreadable expression, Simon turns his head, looking through the glass door at the men crowded in the living room and waiting for you, and then stares back at you with a smirk, a permanent scowl carved into it by someone's cruel hand.

"Nah. Tha's how I like 'em."

He throws the cigarette butt away and chuckles, cupping the back of your head and pulling you inside, into the warmth of home.

"Oi, bonnie! C'mere, As saved ye a spot." There is no spot as you look at the two-story cuddle pile on the sofa and the blanket nest in front of it, unless of course... ah, yes, Johnny's patting his lap. "Ah promise Ah'll behave. Mostly."

And as his warmth envelops you through a big hug, his hands clenched humbly on your belly and behaving indeed, you feel stupidly happy.

Because you're enjoying touch again.

[ceedaryaps]

Iron flame yap seshh: Characters

Hiyyaaaaahhhhhhhh I don't have much of an intro this time so were going straight into it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Violet & Zaden: If I thought they annoyed me before OHH BROTHERR. The lack of communication between these two is astounding. "Why didn't you tell me." "You didn't ask" "I DID ask." "Well, you didn't ask the right questions." ..................dpmo. I love them but they're so annoying I'm sorry and then when Violent found out ole girl has the same fighting style bc Zaden trained her too!!?? Violet wasn't mad enough for me. Then after he heard that girl tell Violet that Zaden only wanted her for sex what does he do? Try to have sex with Violet. IDk Violet is a much better woman than me I would have killed him. I do love that Violet clocked him and was like "You're acting like Dain." CLOCK HIM AGAIN. The Zaden being vennin at the end ugh what is even going awnnnnnn. In my opinion Violet should have been a lot meaner and Zaden.....for god's sake, I'm tired of the angsty man act can't lie. (Kudos to Violet for withstanding torture and knowing not to drink that shit the second time around THATS MY GIRL)

Rhiannon: Opinion hasn't changed. Queen.

Dain: This is not a complete redemption bc I still don't like the fact that he's still "Are you SURE you want him Violet." But I enjoy that he grew a brain and sided with the right folks. Like busting her out of there? I won't call him king but he at least gets Squire status.

Aaric Graycastle: "Keep ur fucking boyfriend away from me." Oh yeah, I fuck with him. Is someone not a suck-up to Zaden and not afraid to actually try to go at him? I sense a new fav.

Andarna: Princess Andarna wants blood and blood she will get, I kinda expected her to be different in some way so her scales changing was not a huge surprise but it was nice. Also despite the rules the dragons have in place she absolutely bodied that other dragon for Violet and ugh I love Andarna so much yall don't understand.

Tairn & Sgayel: I'm putting these two together bc man that scene where Tairn finds out that not only Zaden kept something from Violet but more importantly Sgayel kept something from Tairn!!!???? Gods I love these two as mates but that scene hurts my feelings. Also Dad!Tairn constantly being like "Andarna no." is my new fav thing.

Momma Sorrengail: Yanno.......I dont think I dislike her as much as I did, especially because she ended up helping but like...idk. I think id be like Brennan and just be like "Eh fuck you kinda?" like idk how to truly feel about her after iron flame. Its a complicated I don't like her but thanks we couldn't have done it without her? Pulled through for her kids ig so go momma Sorrengail.

Jack Barlowe: WHAT.THE.FUCK what. WHAT. First off, how are you alive, second why are you alive, third SAVED VIOLET?, fourth VENIN? fith KILLING BAIDE?! Someone kill him for good ZADEN DO UR THING like double tap make sure he STAYS down.

Brennan: no overwhelming feelings tbh. I understand his attitude towards Lilith tho def deserved it.

Catronia: I dont like her, Violet should have beat her ass WORSE. And like yeah mind powers are invasive but amplifying someone's EMOTIONS?! Yeah she sucks. And being mad at Violet bc of a fuck ass crown girl get REAL. Showing up in a see-through gown at Zaden's door? You dirty skank bitch she better be next on the off list especially her sparring match with Violet. IDGAF if she helped later fuck Cat.

Ridoc: "The map is under my mattress." King. So in love with him. Can we stop giving him near-death experiences pls ill cry.

Sawyer:....... don't do this to me man he better be okay.

Jesina: Queen pulled through for the translations a smart baddie queen love that for her tbh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay yall that's all I got for now, it was gonna be posted earlier but I went through a breakup and college got busyyyy hopefully I can give my thoughts on the actual plot of Iron flame soon!

[fatuismooches]

Hello! Idk if this has been done before but but I can’t help but imagine the tsaritsa or pierro forcing dottore and reader off to a nice vacation home for their honeymoon🥰. I can just imagine dottores grumpiness but incline to go as long as reader is happy.

OH MY GODDEJKWBWQEWQUEWHQU GRRRRJEKBWFW YESSSS AUGHHH 😭😭🥺🥺💗😍 mhmm okay having many thoughts... imagine the two not even asking Dottore's opinion on the matter, rather, they just tell him that the Tsaritsa is having a ball at this address and that he and you are mandated to come as usual... of course he's annoyed by it but he doesn't think it's too suspicious because these two co-workers are not likely to mess with him (unlike a certain other two). But when he gets there it's just an empty house with a letter on the table from Pantalone - if the Doctor dares to leave even a minute before the allotted vacation time is up he will cut all funding. 😭😭 OH MY GOSH I'M GONNA WRITE A FIC OF THIS... writing juices are semi flowing again im inspired...

PLEASE SEND IDEAS ON WHAT READER AND DOTTORE SHOULD DO ON THEIR HONEYMOON... otherwise I'll be forced to google "what to do on a honeymoon" mhmm lmk if that intro is good as well... or if i should have reader beg and plead for a honeymoon instead ehe

[conkers-thecosy]

My ask about asks I forgot to send you.

I've seen many posts about people missing how common asks used to be so I have been trying to send about an ask a week. Now I send this ask first anytime I follow someone as I really don't want to bother anyone, so I'd love to know if you enjoy receiving asks and if so what kind of asks. Not having energy for asks or being comfortable with them is perfectly okay.

The categories I have in my ask notebook that I file under are in colour. Please feel free to make your response as long as you want or private (the asker cannot directly respond to private responses).

Self, Job/Work: please let me know what you are comfortable with from eh idk just ask it to nothing personal at all.

Baggishield/Tolkien, Dragon Age, Johnlock/Sherlock, ineffable spouses, other fandom: Please let me know what fandoms. I think my main fandoms and ships are Bagginshield/The Hobbit, Sherlock/Johnlock, Dragon Age Inquisition, {Pippin/Faramir Merry/Eowyn}/The Lord of the Rings and I dip my toes in a few that I currently can't remember but ships I don't engage with the canon of at all are: Good Omens but only for Crowley/Azirapheal, Stranger Things but only for Steve/Eddie , The Witcher but only for Geralt/Jaskier.

OC's you want to talk about

art/drawing do you draw and like to get asks about it?

your writing

blog specific only is your blog specific to a fandom or something that you only want asks about related things

Story snippets ideas and prompts: Do you like receiving them?

Pets: I'd love to know all about them

Garden and Hobbies: What type of gardening and/or hobbies?

Like being tagged in things: If so what kinds of things?

*Asks are sent for fun, no pressure to answer.

Hi there!!

I'm sorry this took me so long to answer - I know there's no pressure (which I appreciate immensely!) but I really want to answer them, I'm just super slow!

Self, Job/Work: Honestly I'm super happy to talk about anything like this! With all my social links on my pinned posts it wouldn't be too difficult to find out a lot of stuff about me and my life anyway! Baggishield/Tolkien, Dragon Age, Johnlock/Sherlock, ineffable spouses, other fandom: Okay so while I enjoy all of these fandoms, and more besides, I get real single-minded about my special interests. Right now it's Bagginshield, and that's really all my brain has room for! OC's: I would genuinely loooove to talk about my OCs, so very much! As I said above, bagginshield is really my main focus right now, but I have two half-written original novels that I really hope to pluck up the courage to share one day. Honestly I would love so much to have the opportunity to talk about them more here, but I know there's not a lot of interest. Folks are here for the bagginshield stuff, and that's totally fair! But, I'm going to write these stories either way and I really would love any excuse to gush about them and my OCs! art/drawing: I don't draw, I'm afraid! I wish I did, I'm always in so much awe of people who have that skill! I paint a bit, but not often and just for fun, and it's always some weird abstract stuff, haha! your writing: Love to talk about writing! It's all that keeps me going some days, and any excuse to chat about what I'm doing, what I'm planning, ro even giving advice to other writers is just so much fun to me! blog specific only: Nah, this blog is a mish-mash of everything! Happy to talk about whatever! Pets: So I have a dog! His name is Wilfred, and he was a rescue! He's my boon companion, and I love any excuse to show him off, haha! Garden and Hobbies: So I do garden, but I'm new to it! I never had a garden before until about 3 years ago, and it's been super fun to learn as I go! Other hobbies are funny, because I do a bit of everything. I'm fairly crafty so I've done pottery, sewing, jewellery making, painting as I mentioned, a bit of knitting, etc. I also used to have my own small business, running a perfumery, so I've made all sorts of bathing products, soaps, bath salts, candles, etc! Like being tagged in things: I do, but you may have noticed, I'm a bit slow at responding! I do try to keep on top of them and I never mind being tagged, but it ebbs and flows, for sure!

Okay, I think that's everything!!

Thank you so much for sending this! I will answer your others at some point, but my alarm has just gone off and now it's writing time, haha!

Thanks again for these lovely asks you send to people, it's really such a wonderful thing you're doing!

[ultfreakme]

So one of my fav fic author, just wrote a non-power AU of GoYuu (gojo/yuji) & SukuFushi (sukuna/ fushiguro) and...... I don't know what to feel. Like, have you know someone who ship them (it's the first for me) ? The fic's not underage, yuji's and megumi's age had been aged up by the author, but still the age gap, the dynamics, right? Can you think the reasons to ship them? Well, creativity really knows no bound.....😂😶

Oooh I have actually come across both of these ships very often on ao3. The ItaJun tag has a bunch of them on top hehe. I actually used to ship Sukuna and Megumi a little back when the anime was first airing(not anymore though).

For Gojo/Yuuji I think the first episode scene where their faces are super duper close probably kickstarted it

(Gojo: tf is personal space??? what's thaaaat???) GoYuu has a very popular ship dynamic I've observed in many fandoms; Student x Teacher. There's always a kind of jaded, aloof and distant teacher-figure who's shipped with the cheery, open-minded and sunny student-figure. I've heard that dynamic is really popular in East Asian fandom spaces(it appears a lot in danmei novels I've read). GoYuu was apparently the most popular ship in Japan (it beat out SatoSugu). Gojo argued to keep Yuuji alive and gave him time, so that's probably a point of appeal too. Gojo usually has no serious reactions to anything, he could have easily killed Yuuji and been done with it but he wanted him to live(Megumi did but eh, technicalities). What made this distant and carefree person take interest in the well-being of this stranger? Why would he risk the world for this one boy? That's probably the start of it. And then in the development, it's probably about how Yuuji can break down Gojo's walls and make him be more honest in his emotions.

2. Sukuna/Megumi: I used to ship it because I thought Sukuna was interested in Megumi as a person, assumed he'd be someone who can give him a good fight or wanted him as an ally.

Also this probably, look at that aesthetic appeal:

(Damn Mappa had a thing for these, ItaJun also had this. Why???? Fuel fujo-bait??? I thank them for the ItaJun version)

Right before this Sukuna's all giggling laughing asking Megumi to give him more(to fight against, but like, SukuFushi enjoyers probably enjoy taking that to mean something different). I think we all assumed he was interested in Megumi's evolution as a sorcerer. He takes joy in fighting and if anyone can catch his interest, it'd be someone who's struggling to get stronger and sees him as a rival.

It seems like he doesn't give a shit about anyone but Megumi. Like that one time he verbatiom said "Aside from him, I truly don't care". Also in Shibuya arc he heals Megumi and fights Mahoraga and everyone though it's because he cares about him(I was a fool).

On Megumi's end, okay idk what the current SukuFushi shippers expect but I personally wanted Megumi to kill Sukuna even when I was shipping them. Enemies to lovers except one of them is permanently in the enemies phase. As far as I've seen, there's always this non-con element to it? Like Megumi is extremely reluctant, Sukuna is unrelenting in pursuing him, and Megumi goes through a bit of a corruption arc and Sukuna.....well he isn't redeemed but he tones down because Megumi asks. A Beauty & The Beast situation.

I was talking about it to my bff and she was (rightfully) roasting me like we were joking around. Me: "Sukuna wants him for his body.....but like literally he wants to be inside him." My friend: "You mean possess him???" Me: "That's the word yes!"

The age-gap thing for SukuFushi feels more okay because I grew up on a bunch of fantasy shojo manga where a high school girl fell for an ancient spirit with a minimum age of 100. This isn't even an animanga thing, it's there in western media too(....Twilight). A lot of people just don't see the point of mulling over age gaps when the differences are centuries, even if the other half is a minor.

As for GoYuu, well I guess it's fiction, they're just lines on a page at the end of the day and it's less about the legalities of the gap and more about the dynamics it brings to the table that people can find interest in. The power difference, the difference in ways they view the world, the younger one is always more innocent, etc.

I personally don't find these to be my interests 99% of the time but I get why others would enjoy it (my few exceptions are Scum Villain and ErHa but if I start trying to explain THOSE messes we'd all lose it).

I guess people would be confused why I'm still hung up on ItaJun too huh? XDXD But as you said, fanon and creativity has no limits and people do as they like and enjoy.

[my-pjo-stuff]

hello there! as a fellow luke castellan defender, i would like to thank you for showing the ignorant pjo fans the obvious.

my question to u, however, is: what is your opinion on the movie!luke and the show!luke portrayals?? which do you think is more accurate, per say?

thanks!

Lmao no need! I do what I can XD I talked abt show Luke a couple times now, so bare with me if I keep myself a bit short on him.

I think he's the best part of the show and was done REALLY well! I even enjoy his "betrayal scene" in the show more than in the book ngl. I think you can really see the core of his character in the show- that being a scarred and hurt kid who was manipulated trying to do the right thing. Charlie did and excellent job portraying him, especially the emotions and the watery eyes during the betrayal were GREAT. The only thing I could even mildly have an issue with is the fact that show!Luke has black hair/brown eyes and not the book blond hair/blue eyes. But that's mostly because I generally prefer stuff to be accurate to the source material, and it's something I can easily overlook and be okay with if the adaption is still good overall. So yeah, love show!Luke so far. As for movie Luke....eh? Like, he isn't the worst. But he certainly isn't something I like???? To be quite honest- I think Jake Abel did a good job at playing the character! And movie!Luke certainly has his charms- I just don't really think he works as book!Luke. He's too goofy- if you get what I mean. In the beginning he isn't the caring older brother he's supposed to be- he's more silly cousin who get's into trouble with you. An integral part of Luke's character, in my opinion, really is that the guy is genuinely caring. He looks after younger kids! He excels as managing people around him and putting them at-ease. He cares about those around him to a great extend. It's important because that care is a core motivation of his character! he's angry, and hurt and easy to manipulate by Kronos because of his care for other people, and the way they suffer due to the gods. I think that is missing from movie!Luke. I also think his character is just...weird. Like, the SOM movie just ruined him. Because wdym he didn't have an established allyship with Kronos before reviving him!? Him being manipulated and just genuinely abused by Kronos is a HUGE thing! It also sort of ruins his reasons for staling the Master Bolt in TLT. All around Luke just looks like an idiot in the movies. I think he as a character would have been much better if he was a stand-alone original. And not the adaptation of book!Luke, because he did have potential! I have also heard that Luke is a very obvious traitor in the movies from other people as opposed to the books which- honestly idk? Like I don't think I can accurately judge how much a shock him turning bad was in the movies as I knew what was coming already. What I can say is that the scene itself loses all emotional momentum for me though, as Luke hasn't been NEARLY as well established and shown to be likable as he did in canon. Some of his lines are funny af tho.

[nofacednerd]

Okay now that my excitement over the new season has worn off a little, here’s some season 4 thoughts

Starting out with the stuff I do really like:

- Hughie’s storyline is genuinely so heart wrenching for me. I’m one of those freaks that stayed up watching the new episodes until 6 in the morning and let me tell you, I was VASTLY unprepared to get hit with the childhood divorce trauma at 5 AM. Having him workshop an angry response to his mom was so real of him 😭 excited to see where it goes this season

- BUTCHER! The second they brought in Kessler (who is definitely a real human being that Butcher is seeing only coincidentally when he’s alone and knows a weird amount about him and what’s going on) I thought the rest of the season was going to be Butcher being worse and worse until we go down the route of the comics. Genuinely surprised and kind of delighted that he’s turned a bit of a sympathetic edge this season. I kind of hope we see him and Hughie more, especially after the whole ‘you remind me of my dead little brother’ thing last season.

- Speaking of last season, it seems like they’ve been trying to roll back on some of the problems I had with season 3 (eh. Kind of at least). Butcher apologizing to Ryan for his outburst, Annie and Hughie still being in a pretty good place with their relationship, Hughie talking about regretting the V, ect ect

- Also so glad they remembered that Hughie is actually really good with technology. Usually they only remember it maybe once early on in the season, but they consistently referenced him being the tech guy of the group (though I wish we could have seen Hughie showing Kimiko how to hack into the CIA database 😭 why are the writers so afraid of them having scenes together)

- ALSO so glad they remembered that Hughie and Neuman were really close before her betrayal in season 3!!!!! I hope they have more scenes together later on. I think Neuman, despite everything, still does care about him since she tried to convince Homelander not to kill him

- Sage is really interesting to me tbh, probably one of the few new characters that I’m actually enjoying. Like girl what is your deal

Okay now the bad stuff :/

- I’m kind of annoyed that they’re continuing the trend of sidelining Hughie in favor of focusing more on Butcher vs Homelander, especially because Hughie started as the protagonist of the show. I get that his storyline right now isn’t the most ‘plot relevant’ but it feels like he barely has done anything but be a supporting character in most scenes for Annie or MM to play off of

- Everything feels so…. Disconnected? One of my bigger issues with season 3 was that they pushed Kimiko and Frenchie away from the plot to focus on a more personal story for Frenchie, so their whole deal that season just kind of felt… forgettable? This season is like that but with EVERYONE which concerns me. Shows with the protagonists having their own plot lines that come together in the end work, but The Boys just has too many characters and too few episodes to explore those plot lines meaningfully so that they get wrapped up in a satisfying way. Idk I guess we’ll see

- Speaking of, the show has too many characters. This is a consistent problem each season, where they introduce new characters that kind of take the spotlight over the other ones. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. My biggest problem this season though is Colin. They introduced him off-screen and made him and Frenchie start flirting I guess off-screen. Same with Kiara and Annie. Then when the season started, the show told us to care about these new characters without actually showing us why we should care about them beyond “he’s Frenchie’s boyfriend!!” It’s kind of frustrating?

- This is more minor, but MM is kind of pissing me off :( it’s kind of another case of ‘oh btw all these characters had character development off screen during the time gap between seasons’ that they did during season 3. It’s the same issue I had with Hughie during that season too, he just kind of feels out of character…?

- why do I feel bad for an octopus. Ambrosius girl you can do so much better than the Deep

[hikennosabo]

#tristampparty day 4, episode 4: hungry!

HAPPY WOLFWOOD WEDNESDAY AND DAY 4 OF @tristampparty!! i've watched this episode at least half a dozen times so... LET'S GOOOOO

it's been pointed out a million times already but lol lmao even. i want to eat rocks.

this is more subtle if you dont know japanese but wolfwood being introduced in episode 4 is also a death flag. did they plan it this way on purpose. (4=shi=death)

also the radio dj for this episode is masaya onosaka again!

it just breaks my heart, man. god when i read volume 7 and realized that's where orange got this from. man. man.

wolfwood getting hit by the truck is funny i'm sorry.

okay i'm kind of confused actually about what the plan was here... like we know that wolfwood was sent to be vash's guide, but him getting hit by the truck was OBVIOUSLY NOT PLANNED so the group finding zazie at the fuel station wasn't planned either. like. based on what zazie says later in the episode, they were "helping" wolfwood gain vash's trust by creating an enemy for them to face together. so did zazie just do all of this on the fly? should i just assume that zazie knows everything that's going on all the time? did they see what was going on from the worm cloud above that we see at the start of the episode? even though those worms were just... microbial? so they determined which fuel station the truck was going to stop at and killed the people there and disguised themself... that must have been what happened, right?

and what's with this. there was a post i saw a while ago where op said they don't like how orange adapted this scene. because the context is changed. because zazie and wolfwood are working together so instead of this being an act of genuine kindness wolfwood is just... acting i guess. but i don't know. does wolfwood even know this is zazie at this point. maybe he's stupid idk KLJDSFKLSDFJ or is it that he can't help himself because zazie LOOKS like a child?? I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF THIS SCENE NOW.

this is clearly an act though i mean unless orange has some insane as-yet-unseen backstory for zazie, these aren't genuine tears

it's so funny how vash gives roberto the bill like this. like, "daaaad..."

so he says, with zazie at the center of the composition.

they tried to spike him up a little bit, but no matter how you look at him, i don't think he's worthy of the title of needle-noggin. this is just wolfwood subconsciously remembering what he called vash in previous timelines (<- JOKE)

i wonder about this. the only "human" who can control worms is zazie. humans, plural, though? how many human disguises has zazie taken on over the years?

wolfwood has given negative reasons for vash to trust him. this is just vash subconsciously remembering his relationship with wolfwood in previous timelines (<- JOKE)

vash's little sneeze after him and wolfwood get sneezed out of the worm is sooooo cute

they're just lying out their ass they're fully aware that vash is a plant

ehhh i've said this before but i don't like how orange adapted zazie... they're very different from their manga counterpart. they're one of the most changed characters i think. i don't like their design that much either... the half-pants... idk... i like the bug mask at least...? i like that there's some insect-like design elements but... eh...

honestly shout out to these guys. the real stars of this episode fr

interesting how roberto is the one who distrusted wolfwood the most but doesn't actually oppose wolfwood going with them...? meryl is the one most opposed...

I'VE WATCHED THIS EPISODE SO MANY TIMES AND I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT ZAZIE MEANS HERE. WHAT DO YOU MEAN KILLING FRIENDS. WOLFWOOD DOESN'T DO THAT. HE HAS NEVER DONE THAT.

what moment does he mean. talking about his gate so does he mean in episode 3? from when... right before he shot his gun at knives, maybe? there was a weird aura... i thought it was because of what knives did to vash's gun but... uhhh.... uhhhhhhhhhhhhh (steam comes out of my ears from thinking too hard)

uhhhh. this is ninelives. there's more than one of him. is this how they adapted ninelives... instead of being piloted by nine guys there are nine... of him... like... nine big guys... nine robots(?)...????

haha. yeah. and knives hates that. :')

that ends episode 4... we're really getting into it now...

[chocos-universe]

Lee!scm where he’s having a bad day and someone cheers him up? Ler can be anyone

(I love ur fics btw!)

You sunflowers have such good ideas ahh!! And thank you so much, ehe!!

Love Your Laugh!

___________________________________________

--Suction Cup Man stopped laughing for a while from being self-conscious about it. But, he has a best friend:)--

___________________________________________

|Lee - SCM -- Ler - Gina|

___________________________________________

Suction Cup Man was staying at Gina's for a while. Why? He was growing insecure about his laugh and needed company. I mean... snorts and hiccups? Come on! What's NOT to be embarrassed about it! The fact that he laughs easily, too, makes it worse! So, he's been holding in his laughter. Gina has definitely noticed this. This wasn't Suction Cup Man... this was a Sad Man. Something HAD to be done...

Suction Cup Man was in the spare bedroom, lying down curled in a ball. Gina sighed and walked in "Hey Raspberry... how's it going?" Gina said in a tone of concern, closing the door quietly behind her. "...Fine." Suction Cup Man sighed, looking devastated. "You... want some tea, Buddy?" Gina asked as Suction Cup Man shook his head, some tears welling up in his eyes. "No..." his voice cracked as he covered his face. "Awh... bud..." Gina frowned, walking over to him, sitting next to him. "C'mere..." She opened her arms for him as he crawled over, sitting in her lap curled in a ball, her arms wrapped around him, rocking slightly yet slowly back and forth. "Shh, it's okay, Raspberry..." "I'm a weirdo..." he covered his face in his hands. "Cuppy... you aren't." "Why is it so weird?!" He whined, curling up more. He was so insecure about it that it was getting concerning... he hardly ever laughed, and it was affecting him and his health deeply.

Gina knew her idea was probably bad, but... it just HAD to work. Giving him tea, new towers to climb, plushies?? He loved all of that! Yet, none of it worked. So, this was the only thing that COULD work. "Cuppy... can I see your hand?" Gina asked in a soft tone, holding her hand out. Suction Cup Man sniffed and looked up at her. He looked at her hand before sighing shakily and giving him her hand. She gently flipped his hand so she was holding his back hand before gently placing a finger on it, tracing his hand lines (idk what they're called:3). Suction Cup Man flinched slightly before a wobbly smile appeared on his face

"Ehe... no-- Gihina!" He giggled softly, shaking his head. "What's wrong, bud?" "I hahate this-- plehease!" He snorted, which made him cover his mouth with his free hand. "Um... I don't think so, mister!" Gina gently kept tickling his hand before grabbing his other, nuzzling his palm "Wahait-- aaahahahaha! *hic* G-Gihihijima!! Ahahahaha!" He giggled, snorted, hiccuped... oh well. This was all worth it to hear those bubbly giggles and wobbly smile! "Come on, your laugh is so sweet.." Gina said with a genuine tone. "Noho it's nohot!" Gina gasped, pretending to be offended "My goodness! Making such false words?! What has happened to this generation..." "Pff-- whahahat?!" He snorted as he laughed more at Gina's choice of words. "Ya heard me. Your laugh is so bubbly, snorty, hiccup-y, cute~" "Naha!" "Naha? Nope, sorry sir, gotta repeat that." "Gihihina!!" "That's not what you said, you silly goose!" Gina gently spidered her fingers up and down his arm. "Shihihit!! Gihihina plehehease! *hic* Oh nohoho!" "Oh yes!" "Gihina!!--" He could've just pulled oit and ran away or pushed her to make her stop. But... he loved this affection. Even if it made him laugh. "Who's a widdle cutie?~" "Noho-- nohot mehe!" "Aww, it IS you, isn't it?~" "Fuhuhuck!!" He hippcuped and snorted, Gina chuckling along. "You hear that? Adorable laughter~" "Okay! Ohokay! I gehet it! It's cuhuhute!!" "You obviously like this, right?~" "Soho?!" Gina chuckled before stopping. "Don't be ashamed of your Laugh, buddy. I love your bubbly giggles." She smiled, booping his nose softly as he huffed "Whatever half-bald bastard..." Suction Cup Man mumbled, crossing his arms."Oh, you red little shi--" Gina pounced on him, pinning him underneath her before lifting up his shirt and blowing the biggest raspberry she could

"BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! GIHIHIHIHIHINA!! NO-- NONONONONONOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHO!! *snort and hic*" He shrieked with laigher his feet kicked slightly

"You take that back, mister!!"

🖤End🖤

(Sorry if it's short, sunflower. Hopefully, this makes you happy💕💕)

[shadale-s-safe-space]

What was Z and AleX's first kiss like? Was it really awkward or more romantic?

(Ps. I love your artstyle! It brings me so much joy to look at it :] )

First of all THANK YOU A LOT, I LOVE YOU PEOPLE SO FUCKING MUCH, at this point you guys are my enablers for this stuff.

Idk on what kind of drugs I am but every page that I've drawn looks fucking hilarious to me. I just can't stop laughing over it, especially the one where Z holds a flower up. I've been legit laughing to tears every time I look at it idk why. Also sorry for fucking up the kiss I tried I guess.

Okay so Z has a history of bad relationships in his past, when he asked AleX if they could hang later he meant in a friendly way more than anything. In reality he wasn't that interested in her. But while they were talking AleX had been sending him mixed messages, she seemed annoyed, not interested in what he was talking about. He kinda felt like he was bothering her more than anything. Kinda feeling like his friendship request is being rejected, just as he was about to say " Sorry for bothering you, I'll leave" she turns to him and asks if they could see each other tomorrow. Surprised by her request, he says yes anyway, maybe she just wasn't feeling like hanging out today.

Tomorrow comes, and he actually shows up and sees a completely different person in front of him. She was jumping, happy, maybe even overjoyed, she was all over him. Confused by this, he wasn't sure what he was getting himself into.

He finally realizes he wasn't asked to come hang around he was asked on a date. He swears she didn't blink once while looking at him.

Eh whatever, he'd been trough worse and a lot of one-offs before, since he wasn't even that interested he decided to just be himself and at least have a fun time. If the date is what she wants, a date she will get.

And in fact, they did have fun, maybe more than he was expecting, even thought he managed to do one or two stupid things.

Oh. Whoopsies, sorry.

You don't have to say sorry every time.

It was kinda weird that Z was apologizing for very small things, it was new to her, No one ever apologized for doing worse. But it felt nice, Z appreciated her forgiveness a lot, and actually felt comfortable being himself for once.

Everything was great untill....

He doesn't know why, but he just had an urge to pick one.

Not understanding why he even picked a flower in the first place, he gives it to AleX, eh whatever girls like flowers.

Bro I can't this image is funny af I can't breathe fuck literally cryin rn.

Okay... he wasn't expecting that reaction.

She can't be serious about this, I mean, he's known her for like a day or two.

But he did have a good time with her, didn't regret a moment they've spent together. Maybe he does like her after all.

She fell in love the moment she saw him, he fell in love with her on their first date.

THEN ROBO GOD DROPPED FROM THE SKY WITH A SICK ASS LOOKING GUITAR AND HIS BAND OF ROBO ANGELS AND THEY PLAYED STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN WHILE ROBO JESUS EVEN FLOWED ON A SKATEBOARD AROUND THEM.

I DECLARE IT AS CANON

Lol sorry the images look ugly af I legit can't. What have I done. I'm in tears omfg.

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

okay so I bought the acotar series (before I knew the author was a freak and I’d already thrown away the receipt PLS DONT CRUCIFY ME) and I’m almost done with the second book and the series is good yes Rhys supremacy did I cry during chapter 54 yeah what the fuck about it I didn’t get it before but I get it now y’all know I love a sarcastic morally grey asshole I eat it for breakfast lunch and dinner!! “there you are, I’ve been looking for you” I get it now!!!!!!

HOWEVER!!! the way everyone was claiming these books were like the end all be all of literature…..like yes they’re good but they’re not earth-shattering, there’s a lot of parts that are….💀 like i’ve found myself making faces so often bc some things are just so….weird

like the whole animalistic mating trope has always been kinda eh to me especially when it’s overly dramatic like him getting into a fist fight with his best friend for an hour bc the mating bond thing makes him insane was so……grow up maybe?? 😭 IDK IT JUST GIVES ME THE ICK like I get the idea of it I understand what the appeal should be but for me it’s Too Much!!

[maxwell-grant]

Reading you post about Seth made me imagine a world where Ryu winds up taking Seth on as a student. I thought Ryu's journey to overcome the Satsui no Hado could give him insight on how to help Seth overcome their own hatred, and meta-textually, becoming the main character student is about as far from trying to be the final boss that you can be

Hmm, you know, that is frankly pretty damn inspired and I don't think it's something we've ever really seen before in a fighting game, a former final boss getting kicked so far down the ladder that they wind up being the main character's student. It's the kind of sheer indignity and downgrade that would destroy most villains, but also, you can't destroy or make Seth less dignified than they already are, and their SFV story opens up a number of possibilities to take them afterwards if brought back. There's even some existing parallels between Seth and Akuma that could be worked into this, and Seth's already dropped out of official villain status enough to not be missed as one.

Main issue I have with this though is that "Final Boss gets beaten by Ryu, changes himself to become more like Ryu, and becomes a redeemed pseudo-ally to Ryu while still being plenty intimidating and arrogant to stay in in-character and remind you they used to be a Final Boss" is already very much Sagat's thing and you are never, ever, on your best day, not coming up short next to Sagat. Honestly even Akuma started heading there a bit in V. And it works for them because their appeal as characters isn't really mandated by them remaining full-on villains, they are cool badasses who get to sit in more morally grey clubs. Seth's humiliated and tragic aspect is what sets them apart from all the other main villains and I wouldn't want to see it done away with, but you can't really have them stay static, especially with 6 being serious about developing and pushing all of the characters forward in a way the series never really did before.

I've never been super in love with the idea of Ryu sitting down and training a new character to take his place, part of why I'm glad that Sakura turned out the way she did and that both her and Ryu were freed from the burden of the most tired story idea you could possibly think of with them. But there is a world of difference between "Ryu mentors a rookie who looks up to him into a new fighter because, idk he's just nice like that", and "Ryu has to mentor a monster that once tried to kill him and lay waste to the world with his exact power, to help them as he was helped and try to stop them from being consumed by hatred just as he once was". The former is just, eh, you can get a decent version of that by playing World Tour, but the latter, well, there's a pitch there, there's stakes, there's a story worth telling.

Ryu putting himself on the line, abdicating from his journey, possibly getting on really bad terms with people he knows (Is Chun-Li gonna be okay with this after all the work she put into destroying Shadaloo for good? what about Ken, who's JUST had his life ruined to shit by Shadaloo leftovers, how's he gonna feel? At minimum he's gonna have C.Viper and Juri and Abel and Guile on his ass 24/7 because they are not letting this pass), to stop the Shadaloo-Satsui cycles of violence and help a victim of them who can't be trusted, but also can't get up on their own and has no one even trying to save them, no one. Ryu had Ken, he had friends, he has Sagat to eternally remind him of the consequences and push him to be a better man, he had Dhalsim, he had Gouken (which I think was too much, old man should have stayed dead, not a single story in the franchise wouldn't be better served by Gouken staying dead), in the manga he even had Birdie and I like that so it happened shut up, where as Seth has nothing and no one other than people who tried to use them, and people who very justifiably think Seth needs to stay dead and only endangers others by being alive.

Nobody on the planet is gonna think Seth is remotely worth the effort of saving, except for Ryu, who wouldn't wish what they're going through even on his worst enemy. There's like an interesting tension here, of whether Ryu is doing something incredibly stupid because he doesn't understand firsthand what Shadaloo scum are actually like and is just empowering a monster to kill them all eventually (something that Guile would probably say to him), whether he's just trying to help someone the way he wishes he'd been helped and not thinking about the risk, whether he's actually being very practical because redeeming Seth is a net positive for humanity that only he can achieve (well really it should be Dhalsim and Gouken's jobs but, they can't be fucked), how much of this is him acting from pure kindness versus a pragmatic understanding that he is in a position to stop the next Akuma or Bison from forming even if no one is gonna help him do it, the toil it takes on him, and so on.

Again, there's a story here. Not sure if I'd want this like, canonically, but there's something really good here. That could be as good a justification as there ever was for a story to remind us why Ryu is the Hero even when they're not actively at the center of things.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

In a previous ask response you said that YA isn’t fresh rn but don’t you think the increasing diversity as compared to the 2010s YA is fresh? like for example… there’s legendborn with a plot that merges American slavery with king arthur myth. There’s so many popular asian girl led YA now too. i dont think its done in a way where the stories are basically unchanged with girls of color now leading way either idk

Eh, speaking as a brown woman, I’m not giving the industry a cookie for doing less than the bare minimum?

I’ve said before that I think Legendborn was something of a standout because it did some really interesting things when it comes to standard UF tropes, and really getting into how differently that staple WASPY legacy school setting could come across for a black protagonist. But also that’s one book. And I think most POC led YA don’t typically attempt anything similar

Compare that to, off the top of my head, Violet Made of Thorns which was like “what if the Cruel Prince was more like Shrek but without any plot whatsoever” which incidentally had a Chinese protagonist, and that’s great! Genuinely, I’m glad that that’s something that gets to be published, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s wildly derivative in basically all aspects of the story

Or idk Hurricane Wars that did a speedrun of the entire plot of Star Wars in like three chapters in order to get to an arranged marriage Reylo plotline. Like okay in the 2000s these warring factions would’ve both been fantasy white people with like Red Queen esque made up racism probably. So genuinely it is a step forward that a Filipino author gets to have the thinly sketched out setting that bears no impact on the plot be the fantasy!Philippines. But like… it’s still an arranged marriage Reylo book. It’s still all these same tired tropes

To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods— the most heinous colonizer romance I've read in awhile!— was literally just reskinned from an all white One Direction fanfic about an alien invasion. Which itself borrowed liberally from Red Queen. The fantasy China setting was literally interchangeable set dressing

Like I cannot stress enough that I didn’t think Legendborn was even particularly good, but it was one of the best things YA has had to offer in the last few years

Or, I’m loathe to give Tahereh Mafi any credit ever, but her Iranian fantasy books, where she essentially just ported over the Shatter Me cast, did at least genuinely engage with Iranian myth and culture. And even then, the plot is still the same kind of thing we’ve been seeing for two decades

POC authors should certainly have the opportunity to publish cookie cutter drek! And to have POC protagonists and use whatever setting they like. I’m genuinely 100% happy that that is even an option now! But I don’t think that changes the nature of the material lmao

[alybur635]

*Pulls up a chair* So, you wish for me to go on eh? I've had thoughts myself regarding the options

I want to start off with the fact that I don’t think Hizashi’s death was entirely necessary considering the situation at hand. The only reason that came about was to supposedly avoid a war from possibly igniting over the death of the land of lightning’s ambassador and violation of a newly signed treaty. But realistically, I find the idea that Hizashi Hyuga even had to choose doing this ridiculous. I mean you’re gonna sit here and tell me that the Hokage was really okay with putting all the pressure of avoiding a war with another village upon a single clan because a failed kidnapping of a child resulted in someone dying? You’re gonna tell me the Hokage seriously couldn’t find any other ways? I find that ridiculous! I seriously have a hard time seeing how such a situation escalated the way that it did unless the Hokage purposely didn’t push for further compromise or just didn’t get himself too involved with the whole ordeal. The whole ordeal was a political mess that I feel that the hokage didn’t engage in enough, ultimately adding to the cost of Hizashi’s life that day. IDK I find that whole situation infuriating because surely if more involvement and further investigation was done, they would’ve been able to prove the Land of Lightning was at fault and had violated the treaty first while also proving what Hiashi did was justifiable.

I think his death also played tremendously on his twin and Neji. With Neji it’s a little more obvious to us the viewers/readers: he becomes a traumatized, angry, bitter child who clings to this idea of fate and destiny to cope with his father’s death and the position he has in his life. He openly despises the main household for who they are and what the clan represents: masters who chain down the “servants” like birds to cages. I remember seeing this really cool in-depth look into Neji’s character by the @everyneji blog and I *seriously* recommend checking it out, I think it better explains how he’s been shaped due to his father’s demise.

Now in Hiashi’s case I feel it’s a bit different to see, but I think Hizashi’s death has played a huge part into the man we see him as, especially in OG Naruto. We see the guilt he has for the indirect part he played that led to his brother’s death, but I don’t think it’s just the guilt that came. I think he became as jaded and harsh as he is because of his demise. We get to see that around episode 480ish (pls don’t quote me because I don’t remember the exact episode) but we see that Hiashi here isn’t as…shitty as what he is now. Yeah he’s the head of the clan and YES he still does use the curse mark against his brother, personality wise he isn’t as stoic or demeaning as he is. So in my own opinion I feel he was at least a lot more tolerable when his brother was alive, and him dying resulted in Hiashi being this jaded hardass we the viewers first see in OG Naruto. Now don’t get me wrong this is *not* to defend him and his shitty attitude + actions, this bitch needs to fr be pushed down a flight of stairs. And no I don’t think he was correct to wait as long as he did before telling Hizashi’s LITERAL SON the truth about his dad, that was so stupid. He needs a boot to the head.

Now back to Hizashi and him not being dead:

I don’t necessarily believe him still being alive in the story would’ve changed too many aspects of what we’ve seen in the show. I mean Neji and Hiashi certainly would’ve had adjustments to how they are. But, I still think Neji would still have been angry and resentful for different reasons. Hizashi was easily a good father; he could see Neji for the potential he had and had ultimately blamed his own birth for Neji’s position in life. I mean mans literally wanted what he felt Neji was deserving of. But he also seems like the man that would’ve taken on his kid’s punishment if it meant Neji never had to feel the pain that comes with the curse mark. And even if he couldn’t do that, I think Neji would’ve still resented the main family as much as he did for the abuse he and/or his father would have to endure as branch members. I mean kid Neji adored his father, I have no doubt seeing his father punished by his uncle and the main household would be enough reason to spite them AND still somewhat cling to the idea of fate, just maybe not as tightly.

So while I think several aspects of the story could’ve remained if Hizashi could’ve lived, I still think it would be better to bring him back because it would mean Neji would have him in his life. I mean, Neji was a 4 year old child who had to lay his eyes upon his father’s corpse, that shit’s messed up! I’m sure before team guy entered his life he was a lonely kid; he didn’t have anyone in the clan that was nearly as close to him as he was with his father. I mean at least if Hizashi was alive Neji wouldn’t have been suffering with his pain completely alone for several years. He would’ve been at least a happier character with his dad, he deserves that man in his life. And Hinata + Hanabi deserved someone they could go to if their father was being too much for them, he would’ve been a cool ass uncle who isn’t as bitchy as his twin lmao.

IDK Hizashi was a good man and a good father, Neji deserved to have him in his life entirely. Neji would’ve had someone beside Hinata in the clan who he could turn to for anything. I feel his death was one of those that could’ve been real avoided but wasn’t because of outside forces (also Kishimoto didn’t want a good dad existing in Naruto). Also, if I chose to kill Hiashi that would mean Hizashi would have to see him in the afterlife and imo Hizashi does NOT need to deal with that man in his death, he needs his peace LMAO