#Idk if im not looking right but I haven’t seen anyone mention this pls someone talk about this

[bigboobie27]

Brutalia x would you fall in love with me again EPIC: The musical

[jacks4eva]

reaction to the lost hero by rick riordan

imma be honest this is a long time coming, okay so here’s the timeline we’re looking at so you understand me. i read lightning thief in middle school, dropped it and read it again in ninth grade. then i read sea of monsters, but never started titan’s curse. then for some reason in 11th grade i bought the second book in heroes of olympus and started to read it and got confused so i started to read titan’s curse and got to when percy took artemis’s place and then dropped it...again. very sad that time considering it was LEGIT THE END SO CLOSE. anyway yesterday i read the whole thing again and the battle of the labrinyth in like 6-8 hours. idk i can’t remember if i started at 10pm or midnight but i finished at 6am. anyways today i read the last olympian, and now i’m starting the lost hero. i thought it’d be funny to do my reactions.

this timeline is just funny because i have read so many books, and yet the most popular ones like percy jackson and harry potter, didn’t wanna finish lol. i still haven’t finished goblet of fire yet i read 100 pages an hour and could probably finish it in a day. anyways.

let the reactions begin

okay i’ve heard of jason but i was not expecting a pov already

woah electrocution

he’s already got a love interest what

he said the coach is 5’0 i now imagine the coach as danny devito i have no choice

piper and leo yes i recognize these names

(i’ve seen a lot of posts about percy jackson okay)

i like leo i don’t like dylan

i love the starwars reference

oh look guys we got popular girls that are racist, can they get their asses beat in this pls

dylan is also racist for smiling-asswipe

we love the cherokee representation

i hate them so much can they please leave

“i had to say something” i like coach hedge is this bad

i hope percy is the storm but i just know i wouldn’t be that lucky

ofc dylan is a racist monster

danny devito never returned :(

PLS TELL ME THESE REINFORCEMENTS ARE PERCY AND ANNABETH

who is the bulky dude

i’m sorry i’m laughing he’s a big scary dude with his head shaved and A RAINBOW TATTOO and his name is butch

oh so that’s why percy isn’t here

okay usually when reading i can form some kind of theory or connection but at this point i literally have no clue what is happening

i just knew as soon as he asked that he had abilities with fire but i was not expecting fire fingers

wow what a first impression “you should be dead”

wait so all i remember from the son of neptune was the beginning had percy alone i think and i’m not sure if he had his memory or maybe not and he was running away from monsters, so is what’s happening to jason similar to that? and WILL PERCY NOT BE FOUND IN THIS BOOK?

“That also was necessary. Long ago, your father gave me your life as a gift to placate my anger. He named you Jason, after my favorite mortal. You belong to me.

“Whoa,” Jason said. “I don’t belong to anyone.”

Now is the time to pay your debt, she said. Find my prison. Free me, or their king will rise from the earth, and I will be destroyed. You will never retrieve your memory.”

... okay theories, um a goat skin cloak was mentioned to have been owned by Zeus’s foster mother and that he owned it so the woman could either be the foster mother or Hera. If it was Hera, it would make sense that Zeus gave his son to placate her anger at his cheating or whatever. They are also trapped in Olympus, so prison would make sense. Hera was brought up a lot too, and according to wiki Hera persuaded Aphrodite to make her son make Medea fall in love with a mortal named Jason, so more than likely the lady is Hera. Their king will rise from earth could be the king from the battle of the labrynth, maybe. Or another king ya know there are so many.

Wait a minute

Something else I know about their names is Jason’s last name...JASON GRACE I thought it sounded familiar, because of Thalia Grace. Hah look at me being correct. That explains the flying and not being burnt by a lightning bolt—oh I’m stupid for not seeing it sooner.

Now just gotta figure out who Piper’s parent is.

Aha so I was right it was Hera.

Chiron not being able to give the information they need is kind of annoying.

Enceladus? So a giant offspring of Gaia, um...no bueno. Not a king tho.

“Child of lightning, beware the earth, The giants’ revenge the seven shall birth, The forge and dove shall break the cage, And death unleash through Hera’s rage.”

Okay theory time, child of lightning is obviously Jason. Beware the Earth...yeah no clue. The giants’ revenge the seven shall birth, the giants are probably the children of Gaia since that one giant was her child and it’s the seven are probably the seven half bloods from the great prophecy. The forge and dove shall break the cage, um maybe Leo is the forge since he’s hephaestus’s child (probably butchered the spelling). Doves are typically associated with aphrodite/venus, so idk about that. Maybe Piper is Venus’s child, I mean her God parent is her mom and it’d be funny since she was judging the other aphrodite kids. Also I assume Hera will kill whoever trapped her or someone involved since she’s so mad. Idk.

Could kill Drew btw.

CALLED IT CALLED IT CALLED IT IM A GENIUSSS

Wait. This woman looks like Hera, her clothes are made of Earth and she said Leo would fight her children trying to wake her. They’re gonna try to wake Gaia, which would make sense that it said stay away from Earth if she’s the Earth Goddess

I like the wolves thing because Romulus and Remus, ya know the twin boys who were raised by wolf and started Rome.

“You are our saving grace, as always. The she-wolf curled her lip, as if she had just made a clever joke”

I mean yeah his last name is grace

“She must really like this Percy guy to search for him so hard, and that made Jason a little envious. Was anyone searching for him right now? What if somebody cared for him that much and was going out of her mind with worry, and he couldn’t even remember his old life?”

so what if Percy’s just chilling at the Roman version of camp halfblood without a clue to who he is? bro.

Imagine reading this and seeing all of things I get right and wrong and wanting to slam your head into a wall.

Okay like idk why Annabeth was freaking out we kind of knew they were siblings, I mean they have the same dad. Unless this is saying they have the same mom or are twins or something. That’d be cool. That’s probably what he’s saying tbh but still, could’ve emphasized it more than “that’s my sister” like dude.

Anyway, they look very different so that’s funny.

King Boreas? uh.

Oo French

Let’s see what I can translate from the very little duolingo I did. Bienvenu, maybe a greeting. Idk which tho. Je suis Piper, I am Piper. Et c’est Jason, fils de Zeus, and this is Jason, son of Zeus. Vous parlez francais? tres bien, you speak french? good. Hey not bad, not shockingly good but considering I did the duolingo lessons 4 years ago, not bad. Vrai? Truth? Yeah I just looked it up.

Danny devito is alive!

“Leo scratched his head. “Well, I dunno about Enchiladas—”

“Enceladus,” Piper corrected.”

Leo is me omfg

DANNY DEVITO IS BACK

Arrows...HUNTERS OF ARTEMIS PLS?

“Leo stepped out next. “You’re catching me, too, Superman. But I ain’t holding your hand.”

this made me laugh ok moving on

Uh fight a sea monster? bro is Jason just Percy 2.0

“Aphrodite’s message was clear: This one needs no improvement.

And Piper agreed.”

I wonder if you can hear me squealing from hundreds or thousands of miles away

Did you miss the fact that he’s thirty feet tall— I DIED

Who slew titan k-what now? So basically yes. Percy 2.0

Okay I recognize the name Hazel, and all I ask is that she is not involved with Jason because Jason and Piper are really freaking cute.

an exchange of leaders, SO THEY DID SWITCH THEM

The way I called it

I WAS RIGHT AHA

anyways. time to read son of neptune

[cheseyre]

good news, sluts! my brain's no longer being completely stupid (only mostly), i've seen the new asides and...have some thought-y thot thoughts:

*deep inhale*

Okay, first things first: this art style is soooo fucking cUTE and I'm a jealous, squealing bitch. Anyone who knows who the artist is, could you link me to them, stat? I think Thomas mentioned them at the beginning of the ep, but nYeh, brain hurt, doesn't wanna do wooork-

Okay, I'll admit, I was a little...apprehensive when I first saw the thumbnail and title. Part of it's just me being a bitter Remus Stan, but also...okay, deep breaths, controversial opinion time, get ready:

I don't ship Prinxiety.

Like, at all. 

I can see the appeal, and these dorks were so very, VERY cute in this particular ep, but I was honestly turned off by the ship long ago due to how overwhelmingly popular it is and how some fans characterize these two and treat this relationship as if it's the only valid one, y'know, the works—slight tangent, but that's also why I don't ship Logicality or Remile. I honestly vibe much better with ships like Roceit or Analogical, y'know?

Cutting in for another brief tangent: I'm surprisingly okay with Demus/Dukeceit/Receit/Trashnoodle/Whatever-Their-Ship-Name-Is-Oh-God-Why-Do-They-Have-So-Many-Fucking-Names; maybe it's cause they haven't actually interacted in canon and the fan content gives me such good Gay Disney Villain content, idk man im weird—).

Still, their interactions were both hilarious and sweet and like I said, I see the appeal, it's just not my cup of tea. y'all Prinxiety fans got fucking FED and I'm happy for you nerds. Enjoy ze happy boys!

I guess another factor in my...low-key hesitance when I first saw what the ep was about is that...okay, get ready, another controversial opinion, le gasp: well, I'm not a big Virgil fan. In fact, at times, he swaps places with Patton as my least favorite sides—especially with some of his recent behavior in eps like DWIT (the "prohibit your breathing comment" really triggered me, for example). Sometimes, his attitude, especially around other sides like Roman or Janus, reminds me a little too much of my sister, who I don't have...a very good relationship with. Add to that how the more...intense side of the fandom has a disturbing tendency to turn him into the 'uwu precious woobie emo baby who can do no wrong' while unnecessarily villainizing other CERTAIN sides in the process, and...I think you all see where I'm going with this little rant 😅

However, upon actually watching the ep, he wasn't...that bad? I don't think? I enjoyed watching him be a flustered, disaster-y mess and genuinely excited at the end, his interactions with Roman were nice enough, and him literally pushing Thomas to make a move with Nico despite his obvious panic attack was a nice moment of genuine character development. I like seeing that, that's the good shit right there. And him being all flustered and shit, and smiling so much at the end of the vid was just...well, adorable. This man has no fucking right to be this cute, my god

alsoooo 

pURPLE EYESHADOW

PURPLE EYESHADOW HE LOOKS?? SO GOOD?? WTF?? SLAY EMO, SLAAAAAAAY FUCK, DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE TO CHANGE MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME NOW?

alsoooo 

hAPPY ROMAN

YESSSSS~ MAH BOI MAH SON MAH DUMB BITCH HIMBO PRINCE MAH EXTRA MESSY CINNAMON ROLL

ITS  BEEN SO  LONG

AND HIS LITTLE HEART EYES THROUGHOUT THE VID, OH MY GOD-

IMMA JUST IGNORE THAT "ADDING [MISTAKE] TO THE LIST" COMMENT I AM LOOKING AWAY I DO NOT SEE IT LALALALALA

THOMATHY, SIR, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT MAKING THESE TWO GAY IDIOTS SO BAEBY

Okay, but Virgil not realizing that "cyberstalking in real life" is literally just stalking is both a big ass mood and further proof that, yes, Logan is indeed the only one holding the braincell out of this disaster of a lot. God help them all if he ducks out in the next ep.

👀

And Thomas x Trash Can is my new OTP.  I dub thee ✨ "Trashmas" ✨

we sTAN TRASHMAS

Wait, does that mean Remus actually WAS in the ep? Cause, y'know, trash man?

hmmm

👀 👀 

Okay, okay. 

With how much Virgil and Roman were going off about Thomas constantly lying, I was (understandably) a tad bit disappointed my snek son didn't even make a fucking cameo, but y'know what? In hindsight, I'm okay with this it's fineee~

He was just off playing with shadow puppets and stealing money from us desperate, content-starved peasants with his sheer extra-ness and, honestly? Gotta respect the hustle. 

Get that precious, precious coin, dapper snake! Wring us poor losers dryyyy!

*evil snek laugh*

Also, this is a breather ep and adding Janus in probably would've caused unnecessary drama with the Roceit breakup and the constant antagonism between Virgil and him. It probably would've distracted from the point of the ep (flirting with social anxiety, exactly what it says in the tin)—much like it wasn't really Virgil or Remus's place to show up during POF. Does that make sense? I think it makes sense. Sorry, brain going brr-

Still, I can't believe the "Fuck Janus Sanders" Club is actually canon now 😂

God, first Patton in a skirt and now this. 

Thomas Sanders, you delight in fucking feEDING this gremlin nest of a fanbase, don’t you? You RELISH our screams of joy and pain and suffering, dON’T YOU?

What's next, actual canonical Janus and Remus interaction? Patton saying the fuck word? The Dragon Witch comes back? Janus's bowler hat gains sentience and takes over the world, Doris-style? What do you have planned, Thomas? Joan? WHAT ART THOU PLANNING, I MUST KNOW YOU HEATHENS YOU FIENDS-

And Virgil's little "would it be fair to him" comment, tho.

👀

Like, I get in the context of the ep, he was likely talking about Nico and how it wouldn’t be good for a potential relationship with Tomas to be founded on lies, but still...my anxceit heart aches, man. 

Gimme that sweet, sweet angst with a side of mutual regret and possible future reconciliation and maybe something more wink wink nudge nudge on top, pls

...and fries.

Honestly, tho, that entire bathroom monologue was fucking beautiful, man. And relatable, too—i can't tell you how many times I've talked to myself in public restrooms because I just didn't know how to get the words I wanted to say out. It's...kind of embarrassing, tbh

Speaking of embarrassing, uh, crying stall guy.

Just...

Crying Stall Guy

Like, I was expecting someone to come out the bathroom stall after Thomas stopped talking, but...I honestly wasn't expecting that. God, that whole scene was so cringe worthy and fucking hilarious

Honestly, Thomas in the ep in general was a huge ass mOOD and we collective gay/bi disasters ALL related with him, and if you say you don't, you're either lying to yourself or a demon. 

There is no in between 

sorry I don't make the rules

Like, I get this series is literally a gay disaster talking to himself for thirty minutes or longer, but like- EMPHASIS on the 'disaster' part 😂

Like...Thomas, you're lucky you're such a goddamn bean, because GOD, I cringing so hard when he first started talking to Nico

Although, I too have apologized profusely for genuine mistakes and am a flustered bi mess around my crush sooo

😅

And god, Roman's "thirty = old man" jokes made me feel old...and I literally just turned twenty, like, come on, man!

Maybe that's because I was literally watching this ep after finishing my ACT and had been sitting with a bunch of high schoolers, with their tiny fucking desks and tiny fucking water fountains smeh

*clears throat*

Anyways, uh, we STAN Nico Pintrovert Florés in this house

Like

He gives me such big Carlos from WTNV vibes for some reason and this makes me sooo happy

and YESS, he's a WRITER

And he's??? So sweet?? A pure bean?? Just sits on his laptop at the mall food court all day, like a god-fucking iCON?? A Nightmare Before Christmas fan?? weARS GLASSES??

my hEART

*cries*

The fandom seems torn between "Nicomas" and "Karrot Kings" as a ship name atm—personally speaking, I'm casting my vote for the latter

*crosses fingers* please dont be another janus x remus multiple ship name issue guys, please please please I can't keep track of them all-

*clears throat*

On that note, I'm guess I'm gonna go try and whoo over my crush with carrots now. If THIS disaster can do it and make it actually fucking work, god damnit, so cAN I

Meanwhile, in hell, my brain's just screaming "CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST-"

God, I hope Nico isn't just a one-shot character, he's too pure and Thomas and him are adorable gay Disney fans and I stan

Oh, I wonder how the other sides'll react to him.

Wait.

Oh god.

Oh god.

This ep just unleashed a new fresh hell of potential Nico x Sides ships, hasn't it?

Welp, time to prepare for ze incoming flood of fanfics, I guess. I'll get my umbrella and rain boots.

That last shot of Virgil during the endcard was so fucking ominous oh my god mom im scared can you come pick me up-

Goddammit, Thomas and Joan, I'm NOT fucking ready to be traumatized again, fUCK

I wish I wasn't a broke ass university student so I could contribute to Thomas's gloriously extra Patreon—both so I can support my favorite content creators who make this amazing blessed content and also, to join my boi Janus in fucking  destroying society by giving money to the people who actually deserve it, fuck YOU GOVERNMENT-

Okay. 

Okay. 

New headcanon time as to why Patton, Remus, and Logan weren't in the ep: they were helping Jan film that Patreon promotional video. 

Like

Remus directed it, Logan helped with the lighting and script, and Patton was just there as the cheerleader. 

The reason Janus made a dog with shadow puppets wasn't just to flaunt his deity status and prove how he is truly above us mere wretched mortals 

despite that being the absolute truth and we all know it, don't lie to yourselves

No, it was really him trying to do something cute and silly for Patton, because Moceit rights, daMMIT

*inhales*

noww 

guys, gals, and nonbinary pals

it’s time forr

the most wonderful time of the yearrr

WAITING FOR THE NEXT EPISODE

Step right up, folks! Hear ye, hear ye, my prediction for the next episode: Prinxiety v. Moceit! With special guest stars: Karrot Kings vibing in adorable gay and Intrulogical, bitter at being excluded aGAIN

Who will win? Who will lose? 

here’s a hint: we all will because in this sick twisted game they are no winners only losers-

Place your bets, folks! ✨

Haha im not readyyy~

tl;dr

this episode has cleared my skin, watered my crops, and ended my suffering—an adorable calm before the... angsty fucking shitstorm that’s coming far too soon. Prinxiety stans, enjoy your food. Place an 'F' in the chat for me and my fellow grieving Remus stans. Trashmas is the true OTP, but Karrot Kings is cute too I guess. I've only had Nico Florés for 24 minutes, but if anything happens to him, I'll kill everyone in this room and then myself. Purple eyeshadow Virgil makes me question my sexuality aGAIN, and happy gay disney prince rights y'all. Say a big ole 'fuck you' to capitalism by giving your local dapper snake moneys. Concussion makes brain go brr and imma go buy some carrots and be gay now.

psst hey @quarantinevibes2020​ you wanna join me in being disaster-y? i’ll bring my best gay stare and you bring the wine

Until next time, my lovelies! ~ Ches 🖤

[tomsnovia]

As Long As You’re Happy - G.D.

Y/N POV

It was my first flight back to LA after being with my family for just a little over three months. Spending the holidays back at home was always something that I looked forward to every year. Now that I live thousands of miles away from home I try to take times like these to my advantage to catch up with my family and finally just spend time with everyone. But at this point I was ready to go home. Back to the warm and sunny Los Angeles. Back to the little friends that I have made throughout my couple of years being there. Back to my tall, handsome, 200 pound beefy boyfriend, Grayson Dolan.

Today was Valentine’s Day. A day where everyone is supposed to celebrate their relationships with their significant others. I never really cared for this day. I mean I did spend a good portion of my life single but that is besides the point. Valentines Day was just another day for me up until last year. Last Valentines Day I finally got to experience what all the hype is about. And lucky for me it just so happened to be with someone like Grayson.

A couple of years ago I moved to LA to finally be able to pursue my dreams. Sure I was just barely getting started in the YouTube business but I felt like I was finally at a point in my career where I could potentially live off of the earnings that I made through the platform. My family supported me of course. My parents being more than willing to help aid me in anything financially if I needed (thank the lord). But I took this as an opportunity to finally live my life the way that I wanted. To finally be out in the world as a strong, independent woman (even though I am still technically a teenager).

The first few months of me being in LA went by pretty smooth. I finally met up with some fellow content creators who I have grown fairly close to in such a short amount of time. But this one day.. Whew! This one day is where everything changed for me.

*flashback*

I had gotten invited to a little celebration dinner by my friend Kyle Houck. He had been working on a project with a few of his friends for about a month or so. Kyle and I hadn’t really talked to each other for a while prior to this invitation just because he had been so busy with helping a couple of people film for their channel. So I had absolutely no idea what this celebration dinner was for or why he even invited me.

I of course accepted (mainly because I had absolutely no plans that night other than to lay in bed and watch Netflix or whatever) and found myself dressing semi formal for the occasion. Kyle kept the details very vague. He just told me to dress “kinda fancy but like not too fancy”. 

As soon as Kyle picked me up we wasted no time catching up with each other. I asked him what he had been up to and what he had been working on for the past month and he very excitedly told me that it was a documentary for his friends’ father. His friends who just so happened to be The Dolan Twins.

When I heard about the big project I felt.. a lot of things. One: Stoked and proud of Kyle. Two: like an absolute idiot that I had no knowledge of his relationship with a couple of very successful creators. I mean Kyle was my best friend.. How long was it since we last talked?.. Was I really living under a rock? UGH.

Once we finally arrived we met up with everyone who took part of the documentary.

“Hi,” I said as Kyle and I approached the twins.

“Hey guys, this is Y/N. She’s my friend from back home who I’ve been talking about,” Kyle said.

“Oh right! We heard a lot about you! It’s nice to finally put a face to a name,” Ethan chuckled. “Im Ethan,” he said pulling me into a hug.

“I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you,” I smiled hugging him back. The moment I let go of the hug my eyes immediately laid on what I believed to be one of the most beautiful human beings I have ever seen in my entire life. You know- not to be dramatic or anything..

“I’m Grayson,” he said also pulling me into a hug.

“It’s nice to meet you both. Congratulations on the documentary!” I said as we all made our way to the table. I sat next to Kyle, Grayson immediately sitting to my left. Ethan walked over to the other side of the table and sat next to a really pretty girl.

“I’m sorry I couldn't make it to the premier.. I didn't know that was a thing,” I said fixing my vision on Kyle.

“Im sorry! I completely forgot to mention it, my mind went straight to dinner” Kyle chuckled. I smiled and shook my head.

“So how have you been? How do you like LA so far?” Kyle asked as he took a sip of his drink.

“Uh.. well you know, its going okay I guess,” I shrugged. I had only been in LA for a couple of months and this technically is my first outing. I hadn't had much time to get out there because of all the unpacking, and my new found responsibilities taking over my life.

“If Im being honest, this is my first time actually going out since I moved in,” I said as I looked at the menu.

“No kidding?” Kyle asked.

“Kyle, you’re my only friend out here and you’ve been busy this whole time,” I chuckled.

“Fair enough,” he smiled. I skimmed over the menu trying to decide what I wanted to eat. For some reason my appetite completely vanished the second Kyle and I stepped foot into the restaurant.

I’ve never really been good at the whole socializing aspect of life. Being antisocial is sorta my cup of tea.

I sat there in silence, using the menu as an excuse for me not to talk. I was actually pretty focused until Grayson spoke up.

“So where are you from?” He asked as he put his menu down looking at me. If I’m being honest, the moment I made eye contact with Grayson my heart started to beat so fucking fast. His face lit perfectly despite the dim lighting in the restaurant. The way his hair slowly fell down the sides of his face when he would run his fingers through it. Oh what I would do to run my fingers through-

“Washington State,” I said quickly snapping out of my thoughts. “I just moved here a couple of weeks ago.”

“Oh wow! So you’re pretty new to the area?” He asked.

“Yeah.. which is why I haven't really had a chance to go out until tonight. I don’t know anyone besides Kyle here,” I chuckled.

Grayson smiled and nodded. “Well now you know me!”

_______________________________

The whole dinner went smoother than I thought it would. Grayson was very outgoing and easy to talk to and having Kyle there next to me helped ease the little tension I felt occasionally. The dinner was finally coming to an end and we were all getting ready to head home.

“Hey, what're you doing tomorrow?” Grayson asked looking down at me as we both stood up. I quickly took out my phone to check the date.

“Um.. nothing I guess?” I said looking up at him. “I’m most likely gonna end up unpacking some more stuff.”

“You want some help? We can go out to get some breakfast before or something?..” 

YES ARE YOU KIDDING ME? PLEASE LETS-

“Sure!” I smiled up at him. “Is 9 o’clock okay? I need to sleep in at least a little bit,” I laughed.

“Sounds perfect,” Grayson smiled and bit his bottom lip. “Can I get your number?”

“Of course,” I said taking his phone. I added my name into his contact list as “Y/N :)” just a little something quirky. idk. I’m not good at this.

__________________________________

1 New Message

Grayson: 9 AM it is! Can’t wait to bring you to THE BEST breakfast place in LA. Goodnight Y/N 😊

Me: Can’t wait! Goodnight Grayson.

Grayson: You can call me Gray 

Grayson: Only if you want to

Grayson: It's not a big deal if you don’t want to. I don’t want to make you do anything you don't want to do..

Grayson: Even if it is just a little nickname..

Grayson: Okay I’m sorry for the spam

I laughed.

Me: It’s okay! 😂 See you tomorrow. Goodnight Gray ☺️

Gray: Goodnight Y/N :)

_______________________________________

[ a/n: AHHHHHH here it is! the first part to my first series ahhhhhhh. idk how I feel about it tbh lol like I feel like its bad but im going to really take my time with this series just so I dont rush things. I genuinely want it to be good. pls let me know what you guys think. I won't take anything too harsh. ily all I hope you enjoyed even the tiniest bit ♥️

[echo-inthevoid]

Season 2 q&a and overall reaction

Jonny stealing everyone's names XD 

Is martin going to be ok!? I also need to know! 

He said no;-; 

ok ya, no one's gonna be ok. 

Ya, he must do sooo much research. 

Ya, except for "fatigue" lol.

Eyyy the mechanisms!! 

What's the red string brigade? Ok, I guess a group of fans theorizing about stuff. 

Oh ok so someone else did martins poetry. Ooh, there's more martin poetry out there! *grabby hands*

Ok ya, Alex clarifying that Jon isn't stupid he just makes poor decisions. Probably if he'd paused and thought about it (like I did lol, I had to go do some stuff in the middle of that ep and thought about it a whole bunch lol) instead of immediately going out and buying an axe and further isolating himself and panicking immediately he probably would have figured it out. This is why it's bad to panic in a crisis guys. 

Eyyy! Jonny's parents voiced Gertrude and Leitner! That's so cool. 

XD Jonny grumbling about having to work with his parents. 

Hmm, I hadn't really thought of Gertrude being like a mother figure in the story? She just seems very cut-throat I guess from what Leitner said. Idk so far I've been very suspicious of her. Especially since that one statement where her photo burned a whole bunch of people or something. She just seems very shady... 

Alex chortling over Jonny's pain. XD

Side note, Every time there's a q&a I just can't stop noticing Jonny's voice going in and out of archivist range? Like most of the time I'm just listening along and then he'll say a sentence a bit grumblier and my brains immediately like "ARCHIVIST! That's THE ARCHIVIST!!" 

Martin would be the last one alive in Friday the 13th! It's official! 

(Is it bad that this gives me hope)

Jon likes Nonfiction, documentaries, and probably collects something just a little bit weird. *writes down for use in potential fics* 

also while im at it I remember jon saying he dislikes coffee at one point,  and so many people have him liking coffee in their fics! This has been your daily reminder of that fact because ever since then it keeps bugging me lol. (But also do whatever u want.)

Alex's spluttering sounds so much like Martin.

Yes!! I want to hear jon sing!! Yes! Musical Episode When!!?

Ah yes yes yes! All the characters are so unique!!? How does he do it!! 

Ya, it being in audio format sometimes makes it hard to understand what's happening in the live-action bits. (Live-action is the wrong word but u know what I mean.)

Oh ok ya, how he mentioned he got a pipe was quite clever I didn't realize that that's why he mentioned it at all. 

Ooh, there's a manga where there's something similar to Michael? I'll have to look that up later...

XD Alex and Jonny arguing about apples. 

Ok, so all the statements we're hearing ARE for reals. I kinda assumed but good to have it confirmed.

They used to hang out together!!? Work function curry nights!! ;-; 

Ya Ya! Who made the leitners!?

"You are assuming a book needs to be written" ...ok then. (but it has to have been created somehow??? Did they just spring fully formed from the powers? why? And why take the form of books?)

Alex's mischievous laugh about whether jon has friends *trembles in fear*

Yes!! Micheal is so good! I'm so happy they love him too! Yesyes! His laugh! 

Ah Yes!! Mary kaey was so creepy! 

XD yes yes yes fatigue was written on zero sleep, I knew it! 

Akskdjdkd I love them so much. Also, I've looked up Michaels voice actor luke booys and he does some other horrory type sketches n stuff and I kiiinda want to do a little animatic with some of those but it's Michael like annoying some poor soul lost in his halls... I think that'd be fun. I wonder if anyone's done that yet? If so someone send me the links I neeeed iiitt :3

Season 2 summary:

Uuuuu ya so this season was really good. I kinda listened to it in bursts of about ten episodes every couple weeks and then have been saving up the reactions to post later so these are usually going up about a week or so after I actually listened to the episode just FYI. 

I also do have a lot of spoilers cause I can't keep myself away from fanfic and people don't always tag for spoilers and I kiiinda wana know what's coming beforehand anyway? Idk it's hard man I get very stressed about what might happen and then also listening to too much at a time is too spooky for my poor little heart so I gotta read the less spooky fanfic to fulfill the hyperfixation you see. (If anyone has fanfic with spoilers only up to season 2 that'd be great btw) 

Anyway, I try not to take spoiler type stuff into account unless I'm just so sure of it I can't really not acknowledge that I know about it. 

Also, can I just talk about Michael for a minute?? Cause he's such a unique character? And I guess maybe there are other characters like him but I haven't ever seen one -tho to be fair tma is only like the third horror thing I've ever really got into (the other two are the SCP Foundation in its various forms and Little Nightmares. Hence why I keep making reference to SCP it's really the only thing I know similar to this.) But he's such a cool concept!!? Like someTHING that still has a personality? He's so not human? Like I get what he says but also I don't really? Idk im pretty sure he's an avatar right? Right?? Idk if that means he was a person at some point? But all this to say that he is probably the most inhuman character I've come across so far and I'm trying to figure out what it is about him that's so "other" to me? Like... I don't really know what Micheal's deal is? he seems to want to be sort of a neutral mischief-maker but also it seems like he keeps getting invested. But also I just love the way he talks about himself. Like he's a monster that has a personality and is fully intelligent but isn't just evil but isn't neutral either and certainly isn't benevolent. Like he's so complex and just,,,, the idea of a "thing" that's got a personality?? I love it? Kind of like dryads or spirits of things? Like the idea that after a long time things gain personality just by existing? Not that that's what Michael is necessarily? but that same sort of concept applies to him I think. Like the way he IS the maze and wants to help but wants to just watch but wants to kill them all. He's just so interestinggggggg. (And another vision of what jon could become?)

 also "es Mentiras" is a beautiful name 💕

So are him and not-Sasha avatars? Not-Sasha also seems completely inhuman and I was under the impression that avatars were (or used to be) human? Or are they like personifications of their power? Do all the powers have personifications of themselves. not-Sasha seems even less human than Michael? Like she seems to just really genuinely enjoy causing fear? Tho I guess we didn't really get to hear a lot of her. She just seemed kinda gleefully angry most of the time we heard from her. Was she... Human once!???

Anyway. Also, can I just talk about leitners line about jon belonging to the eye!!? Just..*chefs kiss* hnnnngg I need more jon grappling with that. I just need more everyone dealing with the fallout post all of the finallies ok? I still need more of jon angsting over his worms scars and stuff and now I also need jon freaking out about belonging to a fear god power thing. 

Also Martin! Is Martin ok? He sure did a lot of yelling which he doesn't usually? Look I love him and he actually thinks before he acts (unlike SOME people *looks at jon*) and he writes poetry and it is pretty good poetry ok!! And he cares about everyone and just wants a happy ending and aaaaa😭

Petition to get some statements from Martin's pov tho? I mean that's not gonna happen cause Jon's the archivist but I want more martin pov!! Maybe we can get some of his poem tapes??? Pls????? 

I feel so bad for Tim. It sounds like he's kinda fallen into despair.

Also Elias!!? Is showing his spooky side!!? He can control cameras and beat a man to death with a pipe!!? This is his "place of powerr"!!? I am afeared!!? At least jon knows he shouldn't trust him now. Oh jeez, I wonder if jon will listen back to the tape and know what happened. Thhhatsss rough. Oh dear, I hope he doesn't feel guilty cause Leitner did keep trying to hurry him and now everyone thinks it was him. Even martin thinks he did it? Wich like I kinda want to hear more of his thoughts on that? How much does he believe that jon did it? Tim certainly seems pretty certain but he's a bit biased and cynical right now so. 

And they were in the maze for DAYS? 

Now I need martin recovering from being stuck with Tim in Michaels maze for days being angry and worried and hungry etc... Dksjdksa knowing jon could be dying RIGHT NOW and there's nothing he can do. Please someone give me the fic links if this exists!! I've already written like 5 drabbles based entirely on spoilers/other fics (which I'll probably post (w/ links to their inspirations) once I'm caught up and can make sure I'm not just completely demolishing cannon lol. 

Leitner didn't even scream or yell or anything when he was murdered. Literally the chillest dude ever. F

Overall super great, Elias is terrifying, let's dive into the next season!!! I've got 2 seasons to finish in like, less than 2 or so weeks(?) if I wana be caught up by season 5 hhhh,,,

Better get started I guess. 

[bangbaptan]

*Mature Themes*

Genre: Angst/SMUT/Fluff

Member: Jungkook, mentions of the others

| PT. 1 | PT. 2 | PT. 3 | Pt. 4 |

Word Count: 5.4K

A/N: omg guys idk what i wrote...i’ve already accepted the fact that i’m going to hell but pls enjoy<3 I FEEL LIKE MY SMUT HAS SLIGHTLY IMPROVED IDK... ALSO IM ADDING A PART 4 BC I MISCALCULATED THE LENGTH OF THE STORY

You pulled at your bottom lip with your teeth as you looked wearily down at your phone waiting for it to ring again. Your phone had gone off three times within the last thirty minutes. You couldn’t help but breathe out a heavy sigh of relief when you read the name ‘RM’ instead of ‘Jungkook’.

Since the night you had run out on him, you had been avoiding Jungkook, having needed the time to sort out your feelings. You had consistently cancelled on your scheduled days and opted to meet with your other clients instead. You knew that what you were doing was extremely unprofessional but what was professionalism in a job like this? You could not help your inner turmoil as that night had left you questioning what he truly felt towards you. Were his feelings more lustful desire rather than those of love?  It shouldn’t have mattered to you but it did. In fact, the realization of how important that answer was to you was what prevented you from meeting him. At this point, there was no use in denying the fact that you felt something for him. You had known from the start that this would happen, yet you had let it continue. You should’ve ended things on the first meeting. Things wouldn’t have gotten so messy.

“Hello, RM. How are you?” You asked after picking up.

“I’m fine. What I’m calling about is actually to know how you are?” He sighed, “Jungkook called earlier asking if I could apologize to you for him. Listen, I know it isn’t any of my business but what happened between the two of you?”

“It was nothing worth making a big deal out of…” you trailed off not knowing what else to say. It was the truth after all, something like making out in this business was purely child’s play.

“If that’s the case then why won’t you meet with him anymore?”

Namjoon was too perceptive, he could probably already guess what your problem was but was waiting for you to tell him yourself.

Seeing no good in lying, you confessed, “I developed feelings for him. I know as an escort that is the worst thing I could’ve done but the more time I spent with him, the more it became inevitable. I know it’s my fault and that I should’ve known better but it happened. Cutting things off with him is for the best.”

“For who? For him or for you?”

“For both of us,” you lied. It was really for you. You did not want to risk getting hurt, and at this point, a relationship with him would be full of risks, “anyway, can you please let him know that I won’t be seeing him anymore?”

“I’m not getting involved,” Namjoon said, “this is something the two of you need to work out between yourselves.”

Your lips turned down in a small frown. It was so like Namjoon to not intervene. He often seemed too wise for his age and offered advice better than anyone else you knew. You knew that what he was doing was what he saw as the right thing to do but you still weren’t happy with it.

“Fine,” you muttered, not bothering to hide your disappointment, “what’s your take on this anyway?”  

Namjoon laughed, “there are no rules against escorts being in a relationship with their clients...and that’s all I’m going to say. Good-bye, Y/N.”

As if on cue, the second you hung up on RM, your phone began to ring again and the name you had come to dread seeing was written clearly across the screen.

You can do this Y/N, you tried to convince yourself as you finally swiped to answer. You waited for him to talk with bated breath.

“I’m surprised,” Jungkook said, “I didn’t expect you to actually pick up.”  

You were giddy at having heard his voice after a while and you inwardly cursed at yourself for how easily you reacted to him. Get it together.

“I’m sorry,” is all you said, not really knowing what specifically you were apologizing for, and apparently your uncertainty made Jungkook curious too.

“For what exactly? Suddenly running out on me after getting me hard?” You felt yourself blush, “ Or is it for completely avoiding me? Both with our meetings and my phone calls.”

You bit your lip and instead of answering you asked, “why are you calling?”

“I think you know very well why I’m calling. What exactly did I do to make you so uncomfortable?” He asked and you could tell he was a little hurt by the tone in his voice.

You felt bad, “you didn’t do anything. The other night shouldn’t have happened, I let my emotions get the best of me.”

“It was just a kiss, Y/N,” he said exasperatedly.

“Yes, a kiss that would’ve led to a lot more if we had continued.”

“Nothing that you wouldn’t have wanted. I asked you and was ready to respect whatever decision you made and so when you kissed me back I took it as a yes. Was I wrong?”

“No.”

“Then?”

You sighed, “I don’t know, I just freaked out.”

The curiosity was evident in his voice, “why?”

Your mind easily came up with something to say. A lie with some truth to it, “I’ve done things to clients but I’ve never really let them touch me before.”

“Are you serious?” He breathed, somehow unable to believe it.

You nodded, “Yeah, the most I’ll let them do is grope me over clothes. I’m sorry for avoiding you.”

“You can make it up to me by letting me book you again.” He laughed, “how about tonight? Are you free?”

“I actually have an appointment with another client tonight.”

“You can’t cancel?”

You scoffed, “Jungkook.”

You could hear the grin in his voice, “fine. How about tomorrow then?”

-

Moon-sik had decided to take you to an expensive restaurant that night and you felt uncomfortable. You would have much rather gone somewhere more casual. The small portions of food were ridiculous and everything on the menu had a funny name.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages darling,” he mused, “I’ve missed you.”

You smiled, “my schedule has been busy lately, it’s just started to calm down.”

He nodded, “I understand. How about you come sit beside me? I much rather have you near me than across from me.”

You quirked an eyebrow but did as he requested. You came to regret your decision of obedience seconds after. You had not been sitting for even a minute before you felt one of his meaty hands on your thigh.

You laughed, trying to mask your distaste, “what are you doing?”

Unfortunately, he took your laugh as encouragement and moved his hand higher, “You’re so beautiful. Much more beautiful than my wife.”

You grimaced, “Moon-sik, you love your wife.”

“I do,”  he hummed, “but I love your youthful body more.”

You began to feel more and more uncomfortable as the seconds passed by, “we’re at a restaurant, Moon-sik.”

“Doesn’t that make things more exciting? I’ll pay you double,” he bribed, trying to convince you to agree to his adulterous desires.

You bit the inside of your cheek and nodded softly, “okay.”

His cheeky grin made you want to run but you let him guide your hand to the growing bulge in his pants. He let go of your hand as he discreetly unzipped his fly, before wrapping your fingers around his small length.

Your cheeks burned dark pink in shame but, once again, he took it as a sign of your enjoyment, “that’s it darling, just like that.”

You quickened the pace of your hand and you were not sure what at that moment made you look up but you did and locked eyes with a very familiar set of chocolate brown eyes. Your eyes visibly widened as Jungkook held your stare. You noticed a man sitting across from him and quickly realized it was Taehyung. Of all places, you cursed. You couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling of embarrassment you felt. He knew exactly what was going on. There was no way he didn’t.

The sudden sound of a low groan beside you is what finally broke your staring contest. Turning to look at the man beside you, you tried to rid all thoughts of Jungkook at that moment. You were with another client.

“S-shit,” he muttered under his breath and it was then that you realized he was close. However, before he could even tell you, you heard someone clear their throat.

Your eyes flew up and if you didn’t already want to disappear you sure as hell did now. Why the fuck did he come over?

“Can I help you?” Moon-sik asked, slight irritation in his voice from having had his climax interrupted.

“I was wondering if I could speak to her,” he said signalling in your direction. You held your breath.

Moon-sik’s eyes raked over the younger man before turning to look at you, “do you know him?”

Your throat suddenly felt dry not knowing what the right way to respond was. Both men were looking at you expectantly. Your eyes met Jungkook’s and you knew you couldn’t face him right now.  You quickly redirected your eyes back to Moon-sik, “I don’t. He must’ve mistaken me for someone else.”

You looked up at Jungkook with a fake polite smile and you saw his eyes narrow, “the lady must be right. Sorry about that.”

After returning to his seat, you silently let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding.

“Let’s go,” Moon-sik said as readjusted himself under the table, “I want to cum in your mouth.”

Following closely behind him, you could feel Jungkook’s burning stare on the back of your skull and it took every last bit of your self-control to not look back.

-

You had just finished washing up when your phone began to buzz. 

“Hello,” you said, trying to keep your voice as even as possible.

“Y/N,” Jungkook slurred.

Your eyebrows scrunched together, “Jungkook, are you drunk?”

“Y-yes. No. Maybe a little.”

“Where’s Taehyung?” You asked hoping that he was nearby.

“Heshe’s gone to shleep.”

He was home then. You felt better knowing he was somewhere safe, “Jungkook drink some water and go to sleep.”

“No,” he said defiantly, his voice sounded almost childlike.

You rolled your eyes, “Jungkook you’re drunk and you need to sleep. Don’t you have work tomorrow?”

He didn’t answer. Instead, suddenly sounding sober he said, “come over.”

“It’s one in the morning Jungkook,” you tried to reason with him.

“Come or I’ll run around outside naked.”

You let out a hearty laugh after hearing his ridiculous threat, “I don’t understand how that affects me.”

“It does-sn’t.” He hiccuped, “but you’re too nice to let me humiliate myshelf like that.”

“I don’t know about that,” you said playfully.

“You owe it to me for pretending not to know me.”

Reminded again of what had happened earlier, you frowned, “I was with another client.”

“Come over,” he repeated, having paid no attention to your explanation.

You sighed at his persistence, “fine.”

You sent Hoseok a quick text and hurried to get ready.

-

“Well you're dressed awfully casual,” is the first thing  Hoseok pointed out.

“Well this isn't exactly a formal meeting,” you said, moving towards the car. However, just before you opened the door you paused briefly seeing a new face sitting in the passenger’s seat. The woman was beautiful and must have been the same age as you. You looked at Hoseok silently asking for an introduction.

He looked confused for a couple of seconds before finally catching on.

“Ah! Sorry!” He exclaimed, “This is my girlfriend. We were on our way back from our date when you texted.”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” You said apologetically, “I didn’t mean to interrupt! I  can find another way to get there.”

His girlfriend laughed and her smile almost matched the brightness of Hoseok’s, “don’t worry about it. I honestly don’t mind.”

Hoseok hummed grabbing your attention, “so where am I headed? Who are you meeting?”

“Um,” you hesitated. You knew his curiosity would be piqued, “Jungkook.”

You watched as his lips turned into a mischievous smile, “aha.”

You narrowed your eyes. You were expecting him to have said more, “aren't you curious?”

His smile widened, “should I be? Last time I asked, I recall you telling me nothing happened.”

Hoseok’s girlfriend turned around, “don’t worry about me. Pretend I’m not here.”

Her probing smile caused your resolve to crumble, “we kissed.”

Hoseok made a noise of disappointment, “wait. Is that all you did? You’re telling me that you avoided him for that long and you guys didn’t even fuck?” He breathed a sigh in false annoyance, “I’m disappointed.”

“I’m sorry for not living up to your expectations,” you laughed.

He just shook his head, “if your reaction to a kiss was that drastic, I take it you like him? Is this a booty call then?”

Amused you said, “no. He’s drunk and started acting like a brat, insisting I come over.” You could tell he didn’t fully believe you, but you didn’t bother trying to convince him otherwise.

Driving up the familiar driveway, you began to feel a little nervous; You hadn’t seen Jungkook in weeks.

Before getting out of the car Hoseok gave you a wink, “send me a text if you don’t intend on going home tonight.”

You glowered at him and his girlfriend laughed, “it was nice meeting you. I hope things go well!”

Thanking her, you got out and began making your way to the estate’s door. Just as you were about to ring the bell, the door shot open.

“Finally,” Jungkook breathed and your eyes widened at his frazzled state. Not giving you a chance to respond, he grabbed you by the hand and pulled you quickly inside. He must’ve not been as drunk as when he first called you as you noticed his walk being pretty balanced.

“Where are we going?” You asked as he began leading you upstairs. You had never been on the second floor.

“Bedroom,” is all he replied and just as you were about to ask ‘why’, he suddenly turned around. You came to a quick halt, nearly slamming right into him. You looked up at him, “are you okay? Do you feel like vomiting?”

His eyes were a little unfocused as he shook his head. You looked at him waiting for whatever it was he wanted, jumping a little in surprise when his fingers suddenly touched your cheek.

“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbled before drawing his hand back and continuing the trek to his room. You stood still a few seconds, puzzled by how he was acting, before hurrying to follow him. Passing room after room, you marvelled at the size of the house. Still in awe, you barely noticed when he led you inside his room, shutting the door right after.

Looking at him, you found him already staring at you. You began to feel awkward as time went by with nothing said.

“Did you let that man fuck you?” He blurted suddenly.

“Of course not. How about you go to sleep?” You said, trying to ease the tension but he wasn’t having it.

“Did he touch you?” You didn’t answer.

“Answer me,” he said in a more serious tone that compelled you to respond.

“Yes, but barely.”

After hearing your answer, Jungkook closed most of the distance between the two of you. His eyes scanned the entirety of your body, “where? Where did he touch you?”

You didn’t understand what had gotten into him,  “Jungkook, what’s this about?”

However, your refusal to answer only agitated him more and he cupped your cheek, “here?”

“No.”

“Here?” He said suddenly lowering his head to kiss your neck. Your eyes involuntarily fluttered shut and you should’ve pushed him away then but you didn’t, “no.”

His lips began to trail down the length of your neck, lips moving lower and lower until he was inches away from your breasts. Hearing your sudden intake of breath he kissed you over the fabric.  His eyes flickered up to yours, “here?”

You urged your lips to move but they didn’t. Your silence more than answered his question though. You had only thrown on a t-shirt and a pair of shorts before heading to see him but you had started to wish you had worn more layers. Jungkook was looking at you as if you were a meal and you wanted to cower from the intensity of his gaze. You felt a warmth beginning to creep between your thighs.

Summoning all that was left of your willpower, you stepped away from him. You felt your mind clear after putting some distance between the two of you.

“You’re drunk Jungkook, you're not making conscious decisions right now. Come on,” you encouraged, “you have work tomorrow, go to bed.”

“I’m not drunk. I’m buzzed.”

You quickly searched your mind for a way out of this, “Jungkook, I already told you I-.”

“Yes, I remember your fucking policy,” he growled, “and it’s driving me insane.”

You were silent and he took this chance to close the distance between the two of you again, “You’d be lying if you told me that you didn’t feel the same way.”

“That doesn’t cha-” Before you could finish your sentence he captured your lips in his. You were seconds away from giving in, you knew this and so did he. Drawing back you saw his dilated pupils, “please don’t make this harder for me.”

Lowering his head, he whispered hotly against your ear, “why are you being so stubborn about this?”

“I-i” you tried to keep down a sigh, “ I just don’t think-”

“Feel me,” he said grabbing your hand and placing it over the growing bulge straining against the material of his pants, “all you’ve done is stand there and I’m already this hard. Can’t you see how much I need you? Please.”

The second you heard the slight begging in his voice, you knew you had lost. Any thoughts of caution or reason were thrown out the window. You were putty in his hands now. This time when he bent to kiss you, you responded, eagerly moving your lips against his. Slipping in your tongue, you deepened the kiss and wrapped your hands around his neck pulling him closer. You wanted him. You had wanted him for so long now.  A small strangled moan left his lips when you lowered one of your hands to feel him over his pants again.

When he pulled back you were both panting, out of breath. He rested his forehead on yours as he tried to catch his breath, “tell me you want this. Tell me you want me.”

You felt yourself blush, “I want you Jungkook. I need you.”

Ripping his head away from yours he muttered a curse before he carried you and threw you down on his bed. The mattress made for a soft landing and the satin fabric felt cool against your flushed skin.

He was in the process of taking off his shirt when he looked up at you with a warning, “you’re not running away this time. I won’t let you.”

You could only respond with a soft nod. Your throat suddenly dry, you swallowed and felt the familiar heat building between your legs. You could nearly feel yourself salivating at the delicious sight of his sun-kissed skin and nicely toned abs. How was it possible for a man to be that attractive?

You hadn't realized that you were openly gawking at him until he let out a chuckle. You could feel embarrassment burning your cheeks.

“Take off your shirt for me,” he instructed and you gave no thought as you did as he said. Your mind was full of regrets when you realized your boring lingerie. If you had known this would happen you would’ve worn something much sexier.

“It’s better that you didn’t wear anything fancy,” he said as if reading your thoughts, “I would’ve just ripped them right off, like what I'm about to do with those you have on now.”

You felt a shiver run down your spine at his threat and you couldn’t help but rub your thighs together, in hope of receiving some relief. Your actions didn’t go unnoticed by Jungkook.

With a devilish grin painted across his face he sauntered towards you, “are you that impatient baby girl?” Seeing his predatory eyes locked on yours, your only response was a breathless nod. You naturally scooted back when the bed finally dipped to accommodate his weight.

Grabbing your legs, he slid your body closer to him. He crawled on top of you brushing the hair out of your face. Dipping his head, he kissed you, gently at first but progressively more fervent. Your hands explored his new exposed skin. His muscles were taut under your touch and he was radiating heat.

Staying true to his word, he impatiently slid a hand under you to unhook your bra, ripping it right off you when the chance presented itself. Pulling away from you, he peppered kisses all along your torso, his roaming hands slowly creeping closer and closer to your centre. He took one of your perked buds and rolled it in his mouth as his finger hooked on to your shorts and slid them off. Moving his mouth’s attention to your other breast, you didn’t know what to do with your hands so you let them lose themselves in the locks of his hair.

“Jungkook,” you let out, “stop teasing.”

He hummed against your skin, “when’s the last time someone’s fucked you?”

“God,” you moaned when a finger ran down your covered slit, “it’s been so long I can’t remember.”

The admission makes him release a moan of his own, “so wet, fuck. You must be so tight. How do you expect to take my cock?”

With your hands you pulled his head closer and placed your lips by his ear, “I don’t-unless you help me. Help me Jungkook, get me ready for you.”

With a strangled moan, he pulled away from you to impatiently tug down your soiled panties nearly ripping them right off in his rush. He was now eye-level with your throbbing core as he laid himself between your legs and your hands unconsciously moved to cover yourself. He immediately caught them and shot you a look, “don’t you dare try to hide yourself. I’ve been dying to taste you since that night.”

Using his free hand, he further spread open your legs. He used his fingers to spread you apart and gave you no warning at the first stroke of his tongue. His tongue stroked you gently a couple times before he began lapping at your juices like a starved man, leaving you a moaning mess.

Only the sound of slurping rang through the room and the sound was so erotic, it only made you wetter. You inhaled sharply when his tongue began to tease at your clit. Moving his tongue wildly about, your hands gripped the silky sheets to stop yourself from touching him, a series of moans falling from your lips.

“Ah-” You exclaimed when one of his fingers began to tease at your entrance. He took his time circling around your hole making you squirm in anticipation.

���Fuck!” You cried when he began to suck on your bundle of nerves and sheathed a finger inside you. You hadn't been touched in so long that even the small stretch felt delicious. His finger remained motionless as your walls contracted around his digit waiting for you to calm down before beginning a steady pump.

You could feel your climax building, and it became harder to quiet your cries of pleasure. In the back of your mind, you tried to remind yourself that Taehyung was home but that only seemed to excite you further. Your sounds were music to Jungkook's ears and he added another finger stretching you out even further.

Your hands moved on their own and tangled themselves in his hair. Your thighs threatened to shut and smother his face but his free hand kept them at bay. The rhythm of his fingers sped up, eventually hitting somewhere that made you almost lose your mind. From your response, he knew he had found your sweet spot and began aiming his fingers to hit it each time they pumped back in.

It all became too much and you found yourself quickly tumbling towards your release. His name along with curses fell from your lips as your orgasm ripped through you. His tongue licked at the new juices and his fingers continued to help you ride out your high.

He waited for your shallow breathing to normalize before pulling his fingers out. Your walls immediately missed the feeling of fullness they gave you. His lips and chin glistened with the remnants of your orgasm and locking eyes with you, he slipped his fingers inside his mouth before releasing them with an obnoxious pop. You swore that the sight itself nearly made you cum again.

“You taste amazing,” he expressed as he crawled back up your body and gave you a sloppy kiss, making you taste yourself.

Pushing his shoulders back, you moved your hands to unzip his pants but his hand halted you.

“So impatient,” he scolded with a reprimanding glare, “if you keep this up I won’t let you cum again.” The threat kept you from moving. Jungkook seemed to revel in your obedience and began to trace a finger down your body, his finger leaving a trail of fire wherever it passed. You shivered when his finger ran down a breast, applying more pressure as he passed your nipple.

“God,” you breathed, “you’re such a fucking tease.”

His finger immediately stopped and his fingers lifted your chin to face him, “what did you say?”

“You’re a fucking tease,” you pouted.

His eyes were pools of black, “get on your knees.”

You hesitated, the minx in you wanted to see just how much he’d let you get away with. When he realized you had no intentions of moving, he descended down your body and his mouth was on your cunt again. A little shocked at the suddenness you let out a choked breath. Having had enough time to calm down from your previous orgasm, he spared you no gentleness. This time, he inserted two fingers at once making you yelp in surprise to the stretch. His fingers found your g-spot almost immediately and he continuously pounded his digits into you, curving them so they’d hit the rough patch each time. You found it incredible how well he already seemed to know your body.

“Ah-fuck!” It took less time for you to feel the tightening knot in your stomach. He laid his free arm on your hips, attempting to stop their squirming. He then lowered his mouth to suck on your clit, nipping at it as his lips released it. Both his tongue and fingers were quickly pushing you towards your end. You knew you were close when he suddenly added a third finger making you feel incredibly full. You thrashed above him, urging him to stop but he didn’t until he felt your walls start to contract around him. But, before you found your release he pulled away both his mouth and fingers from you, leaving you a needy mess under him.

You whipped your head to glare up at him, “wh-  

He didn’t let you finish your complaint, “if you want to cum, you better get on your knees. Now.”

A sudden memory of the night you first met flashed through your head. You suddenly thought of something, “yes, master.” You didn’t even wait to see his reaction before turning around on all fours.

You heard him curse quietly as he got off the bed. The sound of his pants and belt hitting the floor rang through the room. When you felt the bed dip again, you must have been shaking in anticipation. He gave your cheeks a good squeeze before settling a hand on your waist. A whisper of a moan escaped you when you felt his tip teasing your entrance. He slowly entered you, taking his time to let you adjust to the size. Fuck, he was big.  

He laid his chest against your back and you could feel him slightly tremble from the effort it was to go slow.

“Are you okay?” He shuddered against your ear as he slipped in deeper

Eyes fluttered shut, you simply nodded but he seemed to want more, “use words. Call me by that name again.”

As an impish smile grazed your lips, you felt the grip on your waist tighten. This only added to your feeling of triumph, “I’m okay, master.”

Hearing the name again, you felt him shudder against you and becoming impatient he sheathed his full length into your cunt leaving you breathless.

“Move,” you moaned when you noticed the lack of motion.

He bit your shoulder, “I’m going to fuck you senseless.”

“You’re all bark and no bite,” you teased and that was all that was needed to end the little bit of self-restraint he still had. He pulled his length nearly all the way out you before he thrust his hips back against yours. His pace was relentless right from the very start and you knew you had struck a nerve. You wanted to laugh from giddiness but he barely gave you time to think as he continuously slammed his hips into yours. Your knees buckled at a specifically rougher thrust, and if not for the arm holding you, your body would have collapsed. Your mind was freed from all thoughts when his tip found your g-spot. Your body’s reactions were out of your control from the immense pleasure he was administrating.

Having earlier been denied your second orgasm, you felt yourself quickly reaching your high again. You arched your back, flushing your bodies together even more and lifted a hand behind you to grab his hair.

“Ma-master,” you stuttered, “I’m close.”

“Don’t cum until I tell you.”

You bit your lip as you nodded. Prolonging your climax became harder and harder and your thighs began to shake from the effort. Your walls convulsed, your body practically begging for its release. You thought you couldn’t hold off much longer when you noticed Jungkook’s uneven breathing. He was close. His hips buckled into yours when you purposely squeezed your walls tighter against his length.

“Turn your head towards me, Y/N,” he shakily said with a groan.

It was a bit of a stretch but you managed and seeing the opportunity, Jungkook kissed you roughly. Letting your lips go with a bite, he said what you had been dying to hear, “cum.”

He angled his hips so his dick would repeatedly hit against your sweet spot, his hands reached down your body to roughly rub at your clit. You let out an uncontainable scream as your orgasm ripped through you. All throughout your release, Jungkook kept thrusting into you and shortly after your release, you felt his hips suddenly twitch.

“That’s right baby,” you cooed, “cum for me.” He let out a higher pitched moan than you had heard all night, and in seconds his seed was filling you. Both your bodies were shaking from the power of your highs and it took a couple of minutes for your bodies to calm down. Once your uneven breath had settled, Jungkook slid his length from out of you. With nothing holding it back now, his release trailed down your thighs. Your body fell flush against the comfort of the plush mattress, Jungkook soon joining your limp body. You were completely drained.

“You’re so rough,” you croaked, your throat sore from screaming.

Jungkook chucked, “it’s your fault for provoking me.”

“It felt incredible though,” you admitted a bit shyly, your untimely bashfulness making him laugh again.

He didn’t reply but you felt Jungkook leave the bed. You were too tired to ask where he was going. You had shut your eyes when you heard Jungkook return. A small smile graced your lips when you felt him gently clean the mess between your legs. After he was finished, he lay behind you draping an arm across your waist, pulling you closer. Your body was happily humming as you snuggled back into him. The smile never left your lips as you fell asleep.

A/N pt.2: Depending on how well this story is received I might do little spin-off series based on this. I already left an opening for Hoseok hueheuheu

[sachi-pon]

free! dive to the future episode 10 liveblog/review thing

i appreciate anyone who is actually reading these weird liveblogs, hahahahahaha. i know that i kind of ramble on and on and on. hopefully you guys like my rambles!!!

my previous liveblogs:  (episode 1) (episode 2) (episode 3) (episode 4) (episode 5) (episode 6) (episode 7) (episode 8) (episode 9)

watch the episode here: http://www.crunchyroll.com/free-iwatobi-swim-club/episode-10-the-grab-start-of-hope-775641

***

"it wasn't anything special," says albert. haha this reminds me of something i get annoyed by... i hate when a highly skilled artist says this after making an amazingly good-looking artwork!! they're like "this is just a quick 10-minute doodle. sorry it's so ugly," and yet, it looks waaaaay better than my artwork *sob* *sob* *sob*

okay, that's a nice shot of albert's gorgeous body <3333

makoto knows about odin??? aaaaah he's so smart!!!! lol i had no idea who odin was.

so albert is not an alien, but a god?!?!?! and... haru's mind has been torn apart?? ;__;

STUPID GUY!!!!! he asked everyone else to leave, but i think he should give a married couples exception for makoto to go talk to haru <3

rin and sousuke meeting again ^_____^

that shirt rin gave him is so kawaii, lol. i wanna see him wear it tho.

rin being a little embarrassed was so precious!!!

*dramatic pause* A SUCCESS!!!!!!! (yay!!!)

I HATE HOW THIS SHOW GIVES ME SO MANY FEELS, UGH.

rin isn't crying. he has pollen allergies that make his eyes watery, or something.

i know it was just a fist bump but it was the most romantic fist bump ever <33333

haru, come on, text makoto back pls ;__;

mako is so sweet, he apologizes when he did nothing wrong XD

just fyi, i am trying to watch this episode while eating and i keep forgetting to eat because i am too nervous lol

"i heard something from a friend..." uh, who?

massage?? =) =) =) sounds like a good idea to help haru =) *prays to kyoani writers to create this scene* PLEASE? ...PLEASE? ...PLEASE? ...PLEASE?

what happened to nao's eye? if this has already been revealed, then i forgot ^__^U

mako leans down while talking to masaki, that's a little detail i noticed that is so cute <3333

wait, we didn't find out who nao's "friend" was...

even ladybugs are attracted to makoto's awesomeness. hey if i were a ladybug, i'd land on makoto too.

mako's phone is vibrating. IT'S HARU!!!!! ... no, it's not =(

omg what??? congrats, rei!!! and to think, he didn't even like swimming.

i love how a dark cloud just randomly appeared behind rei lol

nagisa mentions how everyone is going to see each other in tokyo... omg, there's going to be a big reunion!!! =D i am so excited!! =D

haru suddenly becomes this magical fairy tale prince. okay, i'd watch that anime. XD

omg makoto looks adorable in that outfit. <3

"BKC NANASE" LOL WTF GOU. what is wrong with you. XDDDDD

hahaha makoto's facial expression is like "uhhhh this is kinda strange"

makorin date yaaaaay XD all right, to be honest, i kinda ship it. >////< like, not seriously, but like... kinda sorta. a little bit. they are cute together!!!

um, that thing is not cute at all. ^__^U

rin, how are you calling someone else weird when you have shark teeth????

makoto being so happy about sousuke's surgery is melting my heart... (but my heart has already been melted many times this season so i don't understand how it is still melting more and more...)

makoto (casually): oh btw, haru swam an IM. rin: *spits his drink out all over makoto* WAIT WHAT?!?!!?!??!?!?!? hahahahahaha

rin is so dramatic, like he is about to lead an army into battle. but he's just going to go with makoto to see haru. XDDDDD

whoa, haru looks mad o__o

hey coach... don't be so hard on haru!! it's not haru's fault that he lost to an alien god.

no, haru wasn't always this competitive. he is acting out of character...

haru's like "this is stupid, i'm outta here." lol.

there is really dramatic music during this casual conversation so it's kinda weird

"he doesn't listen to a thing i say." but that's because what you're saying is confusing and vague.

"i haven't looked at my phone in two weeks" huh??? how are you a young person in today's world who doesn't use their phone??? something is extremely wrong here. XD

hahaha i figured this would happen. makoto would explain things in a way haru would understand. of course haru understands mackerel, hahahahaha, makes sense to him!!!

i love how haru took a moment to think about what mako said. that was funny. ^__^

rin is like "good, i approve of this mackerel teaching method."

i can imagine that haru is pretty surprised to suddenly see rin appear out of nowhere!!! o__o

"i was swimming, but it didn't feel like i was swimming." huh???

soft piano music in the bg, awwww it's so cute.

huh? makoto heard what rin said, through the windows? either rin was talking very loudly or makoto has hearing superpowers. XD

"what can i do?" asks makoto. well, makoto, i have an idea. why don't you give haru a massage, like nao instructed you to do earlier in this episode????? come on!!! (okay, so maybe that's not exactly what nao said, but that's what i heard!!)

yes, mako knows haru well, but it's also true that he is good at reading people in general, not just haru. of course, haru is the person he can read most of all, but makoto can also read others.

wooooow that little part with haru taking off his swimcap and shaking his head as sparkling drops of water fall around him was one of the most magical moments of my life and i will cherish it forever.

"don't tell him that." makoto should totally tell him that. =P

i literally laughed out loud at the timing of haru (and rin) walking into the room. haru, you should have come in just a little bit earlier and then you would have heard what was just said about you that you weren't supposed to hear!! lol!!!

haru is so confused like "why is he a good coach? he's just annoying."

ugggghhhhh, makoto, you are not listening to me. -___-UUUU you are blatantly ignoring what i said. i said give HARU a massage. you've got the wrong person!!!! ;___;

misaki doesn't really know all the specific examples you're talking about, makoto... ^___^U

"i'm sure swimming with natsume-kun again will open your eyes, too." well, idk about that. i thought haru was the only one who has the power to give people epiphanies while swimming with them...

well this is awkward. misaki and natsume aren't happy to see each other =(

his goggles flew off??? i feel sorry for his eyes, then! XD but i guess this is the "opening your eyes" makoto was talking about hahahaha

awwwww that is so sweet. natsume was happy for just a second and then he held back because he didn't want to make misaki feel bad awwwww ;__; ;__;

...but misaki was a good sport and congratulated him anyway. okay, it's official: these two kids are extremely adorable!! =)

why is makoto so shocked that he helped misaki? that's kinda the entire point of his job. XD

makoto has a new dream!!!! he's so fired up and determined. aaaah i love him so muuuuuch <3333

aaaaaaand here comes the iwatobi crew. this will be fun!!! =D

ummm okay, that's it. the episode's over... i am sad because that was a fun episode to watch. i really liked it, and that's because this episode had a lot of makoto in it, so of course i'm going to like that. XD and i just loved seeing makoto discover some of his own strengths. he even figured out his new dream at the end. he's just so special!!!! he is someone who has a positive impact on other people around him, and that is so clearly seen. it makes a lot of sense that he wants to be a trainer. he knows how to bring out the potential in others, because he can understand their feelings and figure out the best way to challenge them and encourage them.

oh, and... as of now, it is a real, true, canon fact that makoto is good at massages, which is yet another thing that makes him more perfect. <333333 this is really important to me. no seriously, this is something that matters to me a lot. this is like if the writers had thought, "hmm. what can we make makoto do that would be the #1 most amazing wonderful thing that sachi-pon would love???" it's like they read my mind and are trying to appeal specifically to me!!! ^___^ this is exactly what i would have thought of... uh... i mean... already thought of. okay, i thought about this a long time ago. >///////< but now this has gone beyond my fangirl fantasy and is a real thing that exists in the actual show. XDDDD hooray!!!!!! *waves pom-poms like a cheerleader* now all i need is a scene of makoto using his massage skills on you-know-who, and i'll be fine. ^__^

yes, i do have a problem with being too addicted to makoto. no, i do not intend to see a doctor. i intend to live with this problem forever. <3

wait... were there other people in this episode too? i forgot about everyone else besides makoto. uh, oh yeah. there was haru. he was so sad after the loss, but i think he's starting to feel better now, so that's good. i was getting worried when he wasn't texting makoto. =( don't do that anymore, haru!!! ;__;

also, there was rin, and later, makoto, finding out about sousuke's surgery. both of them had such excited reactions!!! and yes, rin, you cried, admit it!!! (haha) but yeah, it just shows how much those two care about sousuke. i loved those moments!!!

i am so happy for the big reunion in the next episode. i think it's going to be a little crazy, but definitely a lot of fun!! and of course, rin and haru's big showdown. who will win?!?!?!? also, what about the mysterious alien god????? how can anyone defeat him? the only way to defeat him is for haru to... TURN INTO A MERMAN!!!!!!!!!! (yes, i am still talking about merman throughout this whole season)

[joshpup]

To Love Or Not To Love // Pt. 9

Intro // Pt. 1 // Pt. 2 // Pt. 3 // Pt. 4 // Pt. 5 // Pt. 6 // Pt. 7 // Pt. 8 // Pt. 9 // Pt. 10 // Pt. 11 // Pt. 12 // Pt. 13 // Pt. 14 // Pt. 15 // Pt. 16 // Pt. 17 Word Count: 2,560 Genre: Svt Mafia Au Member: Mingyu TW:  Angst, Cursing, Violence, mention of blood, eventually fluff. idk about tw if there is one i should add pls let me know im bad at them

“No one else has told you yet?” Joshua asked, plucking a section from the clementine and popping it in his mouth.

“I’ve heard things here and there, but no one’s bothered to give me the full story. They all said that was something for you to tell me.” you explained. Joshua nodded.

“There’s no point in keeping it from you, besides we are kind of in the same boat if you haven’t figured out yet.” He said, leaning back in his chair. “Do you want the short version of the long version?”

“Whichever you think is best.”

“I’ll try to keep it on the shorter side then, but no promises.” Joshua said, adjusting his seat before going into the tale.

“So, I lived a pretty well-off childhood. I spent most of it with my mom, because my dad was always in and out of the house on his so called ‘business trips.’ Only later did I find out that he was actually a part of a gang, and actually held a pretty high up position in that gang. He’d managed to keep it well hidden from me, so well hidden that even after they got me, I didn’t know what was going on. Apparently, my dad rubbed the wrong group the wrong way, and to retaliate they came after me.

“I was on my way to school one day when this group of people showed up and started chasing me. I didn’t even know what was going on but I just ran for my life. I was able to outrun them for a little, but well, as you can tell I didn’t get all the way fast enough. They ended up cornering me and then managed to knocking me unconscious, and before I knew it I was being held hostage at the base camp of one of the most infamous gangs to this day. At the time however they were still growing, but they were big enough to seriously give my dad some issues. Honestly, I’m not sure how hard my dad tried to get me back, I’ve not heard or seen him since that day they pulled me off the street.

“My living conditions were almost a hundred times worse than yours. Rather than just letting me adjust in with their daily life like we have for you, they just threw me in one of the empty rooms and almost never let me out. And if they did let me out, it never ended up being a plus for me. I’d usually end up going back to that room in worse condition then when I left. I somehow managed to stay alive for maybe a year? Time was never a concept in that room for me. I didn’t even have a window, let alone a clock. When one of the gang members would get extremely bored they’d come and mess around with me, but after a while I finally just stopped responding to everything, partly from lack of energy, partly because I simply didn’t care anymore, they soon lost interest in that. Thankfully the oldest member of the gang was decent enough to make sure I would at least get one meal a day, but he never bothered to stop any of the other guys from beating me up just for their amusement. However, I think once they realized that my dad wasn’t going to risk his entire gang just for to get me back, they soon forgot about me, and the meals became less and less.

“On top of all this, I tried to escape a few times, which only pissed them off more. I’m surprised they didn’t just kill me off after the second time I tried to run off. I never did make it very far… The furthest was to the front lawn, but the base was located somewhere in the middle of the woods, so even if I did make it away from them, I wouldn’t have the strength to travel all the way through the woods and get help. No matter what I was going to do, I was going to end up dead. I had pretty much accepted my fate when Jeonghan suddenly showed up.

“Apparently one of the members from the gang that had captured me was feeling extra blind that day and thought Jeonghan was a member from one of their branch groups when he found Jeonghan snooping around their base. Thanks to that, Jeonghan was able to use it to his advantage and get further into their base. He never did tell me what he was doing at their base, but when he suddenly slipped into my dark room and realized I was there, barely holding on, his entire mission changed. Honestly, I barely even remember what happened that night. Jeonghan had to carry me out on his back, and I remember hearing gunshots, so we must have just barely escaped. Jeonghan brought me back here, and I basically went into captivity, part two, but this time around was much nicer. Naturally Seungcheol had the same reaction as when Mingyu brought you. The only difference was he thought that I wasn’t going to last very long given the state I arrived in, and let me stay. Ah, I had so many broken bones and was so malnourished it took me so long to get back up to normal health, even now I still have some health issues.

“Of course, similar to what you’re experiencing right now, adapting to this style of living took a while. I never wanted to become part of a gang. I just wanted to get back to my normal life and go to college and get a decent job. I guess it was just meant to be, seeing as how my dad was already in this line of work…There were a lot of trust issues between both me and Seventeen. For the longest time I only ever talked with Jeonghan, and very little at that. To me, it was going from one captor to another, but to Jeonghan, he had saved someone. Because we had such different views on the situation it caused a lot of issues between everyone. I guess that’s how you and Mingyu are right now… It took a good while for me to get to trust everyone, and there were some pretty intense after effects of living as a captive that for so long. Jeonghan would stay up with me all the nights I couldn’t sleep because of the nightmares, and eventually, very slowly, I’ve made it to where I am now.” Joshua said, his clementine long forgotten on the table in front of him. He suddenly laughed. “Honestly when I first saw Jeonghan standing over me that night, I thought he was an angel and I had finally died. In a way I guess he was a sort of angel...”

           You were at a complete loss for words. His story gave you a whole new perspective on life. He had been through hell and back and had never once complained about it to you. He barely even showed that he had once been held captive like that. He seemed to fit in so well you had never expected something like this. No wonder none of the other members wanted to talk about what had happened. You couldn’t imagine what they would have done when Jeonghan showed up with Joshua looking like that.

           “It’s not too bad though, at least I gained twelve good friends from the whole ordeal, and I can always be here for you when you need it. I know it’s not easy to go through something like this.” He said, gesturing vaguely to the entire house. You opened your mouth to respond but nothing came out. Finally, you were able to form some words.

           “Is that group that did that to you still out there?” you questioned. Joshua ran his fingers through his hair.

           “Yah, god, the first time I ran into them after that I thought the world was going to break open and swallow me. I felt so panicked and sick to my stomach I almost blacked out. Thank god I was with the other members then. It’s been a good few years since that all went down, and since then the two groups have been able to smooth things down enough that we can be civil in public together and not start any petty fights like we used too, but yeah, they’re still out there. And still one of the more powerful groups. I don’t think I could ever be alone with anyone from that group however, it would end badly.”

You didn’t know what to say. The fact that the group that had abused and almost killed someone so nice and gentle as Joshua was still out there made your blood boil. Before you could think of something to say you noticed Joshua’s hands shaking ever so slightly as he reached for a piece of the clementine, and you couldn’t help but feel guilty. You’d made him relive one of the worst memories of his life. Without thinking you reached across the table and grabbed his hands in yours.

           “I’m glad I got to meet you Joshua, and I’m glad you’re doing better now. I’m sorry I made you relive all of that.” you said softly. Joshua smiled, his eyes twinkling brighter than the stars that filled the night sky outside.

           “How about we watch a movie to take our minds off everything? We might as well enjoy our time while out ‘captors’ aren’t awake.” he said with a wink, emphasizing captors. In the end, you realized the both of you were being held by seventeen against your will. Sure, they might be giving more freedom to Joshua then they were to you, but in the end,  you were both “prisoners” there. It crossed your mind for a moment to ask whether Joshua had ever tried to leave svt, but before you could give it anymore thought Joshua beckoned you towards the living room with the tv, heading straight for the drawer where they kept all the movies.

           The next morning you woke up to loud cooing from a few of the other members. When your eyes finally fluttered open and adjusted against the harsh light of the sun you realized that you were still sitting on the couch. Out of exhaustion, both physically and mentally for the two of you, you had both managed to fall asleep halfway through the movie. Somehow along the night, the tv was turned off and the two of you had obtained blankets, and settled down onto the couch, to tried to go back up to your own rooms. It only then occurred to you that you had full on snuggled up against Joshua, who still sat propped up against the back of the couch. He too was just coming back to his senses. You quickly launched yourself away from him, nearly falling off the couch in the process. Leaning against the door frame, staring daggers into both you and Joshua stood Mingyu, his face stone cold. Joshua quickly tried to explain, but Mingyu turned on his heels and walked away before Joshua could even get a full sentence out.  

           A wave of guilt washed over you the second his glance crossed yours as he turned to walk away. It’s not like you had done anything wrong though, did you really need to feel guilty and explain yourself to him? You didn’t belong to him so what did it matter what you did, all you did was fall asleep…

           Regardless of how you felt about the situation, the guilt was still very much present. Mingyu was in a sour mood the entire morning, and Joshua seemed to be feeling just as guilty as you. The awkward air that filled the room at breakfast was stifling. You sat in your seat that had been pulled up next to Hansol and across from Chan. There wasn’t much room there, but it was better than sitting at the other end of the table, staring straight down the table at Seungcheol. You barely had an appetite, but continued to eat anyways, not wanting to show that it had affected you in any way. The breakfast started off extremely quiet, but when Seokmin finally broke the tension everyone started up in the conversation, soon forgetting about the events from earlier that morning. That is all, except Mingyu.

           After breakfast, you helped Chan with all the dishes before heading upstairs to take a shower. Upon finding the shower already being used, you made your way to your room and threw yourself down on the bed. Only a few minutes later you heard your door open. You slowly lifted your head to see who it was, not really bothering to move much. That was, until you realized Mingyu had just walked into your room. You slowly sat up, folding your legs in front of you as you watched him walk closer towards you.

           “So, do you still want to go to this ball? I doubt Joshua will be going…” Mingyu asked, his words laced with spite.

           “Why would Joshua not go?” you asked back, completely ignoring his harsh tone.

           “Exo’s going to be there.” He replied, and once he was you puzzled look he explained further. “The group that got him.” You nodded, now realizing that Josh had never even mentioned the name of the group.

           “I mean, whether Joshua goes or not doesn’t really bother me, I just really want to get out of this house even if it’s just for a few minutes.” You explained, shrugging your shoulders. There was a moment of silence before you finally spoke up again.

           “Anyways, Mingyu about this morning…” you started, only to be cut off by Mingyu himself.

           “Joshua already told me everything.” He said, a little less harsh than the past few times.

           “So, then you know nothing happened, would you stop being all harsh to me?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Mingyu sighed and sat down next to you on the bed.

           “I’m sorry, it just bothers me that I didn’t know you couldn’t sleep well at night…” he finally sighed.

           “It’s fine. Honestly, I thought I would run into you more than anyone else, especially Joshua, but it does make sense. After all he’s been in the same place as me, a lot worse actually. He would know what to expect from me the most, probably even more than I do myself.” Mingyu nodded. “Don’t go bringing your frustration out on Joshua though, he didn’t do anything wrong. In the end, I’m the one that made him come downstairs, and I made him tell me about what happened back then. We both got so emotional last night that we wouldn’t have been able to sleep if we didn’t do something like watch a movie.” You pointed out. Mingyu nodded once more before standing up.

           “I really do want to go to this ball though, Mingyu. I want to meet these Monsta X people too since Seventeen is always spending so much time with them. They must be nice people too.” You said, following him out of your room.

           “We’ll just have to ask the boss than.” Mingyu said with a smile.

Next...

[jjeehoon]

bf!jihoon

bc jenhoon isn’t a thing. for @onlyjihoons wynaut b

also are my gif making skills getting better yet pls help me 

under the cut bc it’s actually quite long oops

cute relationship tbh

remember when he confessed to you??? i sure do

i don’t recall that you’ve ever talked to each other before then? ok maybe once or twice but probably because his friends were buddy buddy with you

so he decided to buddy buddy along 

they had found out he liked you but they kept it a secret bc they were good friends aww get me some friends like that

they started to hang out with you more for his benefit bUT they were able to keep their scheme lowkey because it was a new (and your last) semester and all of them were in a lot of your classes

o lord when it was midterms jihoon couldn’t take it anymore

on the day before like,,, a long weekend or smth he was like “daM y/n i like you” and he put up a print out of a lot of your favourite memes on your locker

let’s just say that he liked the same memes as you did bc dorm jihoon lol

and then you fell for it

maybe you didn’t like him before, maybe you didn’t see him that way before, but Damn!

once you saw “hi welcome to chili’s” you immediately fell for him my goodness

rip vine pls rebirth soon

both of your meme loving asses brought those references into your relationship

you: (driving)

jihoon: road work ahead? i sure hope it does! 

hsdfjsd i’m sorry that’s just really funny,,, it’s my favourite vine

lots of hanging out at home

mostly at your house bc 1. there’s better food and 2. woojin’s not there

since you’re the talented and wonderful (y/n) you are, karaoke with him is sO fun

singing bangtan songs and knowing the lyrics by heart ugh i love this pair of armys

speaking of singing,,, because of your talent you got into the same arts university as jihoon 

lucky u with your scholarship lol

idk the people in your class just automatically ship you and jihoon together

“eyy you’re like,,, jihoon’s s/o right”

“sure you can call me that (even though i clearly have a name xd!)”

“that’s so cute he tells everyone about you!! like yesterday he just threw up a bunch of words onto our friend group saying how much he loves your smile”

hM that was weird because he never told you that he liked your smile (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

turns out that he was too shy

No I Am Not Going To Become Soft For Him

yeah he seems outgoing and all when you’re around him but things like complimenting you just make him feel flustered djflskjfljs

so when he did say that he liked your smile he turned all re d and he covered his face and hid his smile u h hh like when he does jeojang

so then the teasing begins

“oh yeah i heard from so-and-so that you told like the whole campus that you liked my smile”

“GUH”

“why didn’t you tell me this earlier huh ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴“

so then he can’t respond right

you take him in to give him a BI I I I IIG hug and you like ruffle his hair or something with affection

after all the teasing you thank him for the compliment and you say “uhh yeah don’t be shy to compliment me (altho my self-depreciating ass won’t take it lol) or anyone in general bc i’ll do the same boo”

it’s really cute

he thinks you’re cute

you think he’s cute

we think you guys are cute 

everything’s cute in this world ok (i’m exaggerating PLEASe don’t take me seriously) 

OK NO IT’S STORYTIME B O I

so you and jihoon are like,,, sitting there and watching uhhh wanna one go i guess lol

then literally 30% of the pd101 trainees come swooping in with balloons and cake and you’re just like “what”

jihoon was also like “what”

“happy birthday boyz” haknyeon goes to say hahshjdajk pls understand that joke

“but mr. joo it’s not either of our birthdays-”

“it’s your relationship’s birthday you dummy xd”

wow you both couldn’t remember your anniversary but 30% of 101 trainees remembered for you 

friendship goals ammiright that’s just a little bit over 30 trainees

like maybe a part of a trainee came in?? their legs just come in and idk

so you all just sit there watching wanna one go with 6 cakes and balloons scattered all over your house

jihoon turns off the tv all of a sudden and then y’all go “huh”

“let’s play truth or dare xD” jihoon suggests and the crowd of boys behind you just go “oooOooooOoOOOh”

you have absolutely no luck since there was both ong seongwoo AND yoon jisung within the group of trainees who remembered your damn anniversary

and yes

seongwoo got the pleasure to ask you first

“ayy (y/n) truth or dare”

“truth??”

“after jihoon telling everyone that he loves your smile, what do you think about telling everyone about his smile? do you love his smile?”

“bih is that a question,,, the answer is obviously that it’s frucking adorable ;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;”

if you hear that someone disagrees you’re gonna kick them to tomorrow night

a lot of cooing happened when you said that it was “frucking adorable”

jihoon turned into another blushing mess im

you thought things were done with you lmao there were 32 people in your living room this truth or dare game is gonna go on for ages my next turn won’t even come til morning

nOpe the started attacking you with questions

fun fun fun fun f u n !1!

and then the legendary summoner comes in

k a n g  d o n g h o

ok y’all might think he’s innocent like “o he’s such a dad look how cute he is”

buT he’s actually a wild man i’m cryinhfn

still cute tho don’t deny it

“(y/n) truth or dare”

“o my goodness not you too baekho”

so you go with dare???

“i dare you to kiss jihoon”

h o o o ooho o ohohoho 

did i mention that earlier woojin asked if y’all had your first kiss yet and you were like “uhhh no”

cLAPS RAPIDLY

and you’re just there panting and dying on the carpeted floor while all of the 30% were just screaming and chanting 

jihoon x (y/n) cult confirmed

so jihoon busts in and he’s going all “bih i didn’t sign up for this”

EVERYONE pulls out their own argument and tries to persuade jihoon into doing it

you’re also in the middle of being persuaded

rip

while you’re there, kind of dying on the floor,,, there was this bigass cENTIPEDE?? COMING YOUR WAY???

you’re suddenly jumping up and stuff and you aCCIDENTALLY step on jihoon’s foot 

oop

now you aren’t a very heavy person, but you were wearing your sneakers inside (i do not approve as someone who grew up in an asian household insert angry face here) and he wasn’t (i also don’t approve bc he only took them off as you aren’t the biggest fan of his jordans another angry face)

“oshitoshitoshit jihoon r u ok” 

“i’m good i’m goodjglfjg”

and then out of nowhere you kiss him on the cheek h o o o 

the crowd goes WILD!

and then minhyun’s sitting beside dongho just shaking his head like,,, “no that’s not good enough”

everyone looks at him after they calmed down and they aGREE 

“do you want me to like,,”

“kiss him on the lips?” minhyun nods. “yes.”

“i h8 y’all”

so you lean in for the peck !!!

THE CROWD GOES WILD AGAIN 

and jihoon??? through all this he’s embarrassed again

“ok jihoon i did it can you gladly kill that centipede for me now aha”

and then he tries looking for it while his face is pink

pink sausage here!

but he can’t find it so like,,, yeah

you kissed him tho that was your first kiss with him sjdfjlkgjldf

to this day you haven’t seen that centipede once but you thank it everyday for helping you guys step up your relationship 

lol

[insporaelynn]

📲 raelynn && carson

WHEN: january 25th-27th.

DESCRIPTION: the saga of carson and raelynn over the past few days - in text message form.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: angst, sex mention,  death mention

@carsonreyes

carson

uhhhh I think we should talk

raelynn.

who is this?

carson

it’s carson, raelynn.

raelynn.

idk what we have to talk about.

i haven't even seen you in idk how long.

carson

so then what’s the issue.

raelynn.

the same issue as before.

carson

then let’s talk

raelynn.

what's there to say that hasn't been said

carson

can’t we move past this

raelynn.

idk can you undo all the damage you left?

carson

can I try

raelynn.

You don't even know me anymore.

carson

then I’ll get to know you again

raelynn.

That's if I let you.

carson

you’re really just going to let us hate each other

we’ve both grown, cmon

raelynn.

i don't trust you.

carson

that’s valid

that’s why I’m trying to fix it

raelynn.

why now.

carson

I just got back

raelynn.

yeah but you always had my number, apparently

carson

actually

I had to ask for it

raelynn.

who gave it to you

carson

Uhm

next question

raelynn.

was it delilah.

carson

no

It was wessy

raelynn.

ew

whatever i can't be mad at him

carson

so

are you gonna let me get to know you again

raelynn.

do i have to decide today

carson

yes <3

raelynn.

that's not fair.

carson

neither is calling me out in the gc

raelynn.

you can't compare that to cheating on me for months and then dumping me for the other girl

carson

it wasn’t for months

and it wasn’t for some other girl

raelynn.

choose your words carefully bc if you say that i was the problem and the reason you cheated on me / broke up with me i'll block you.

carson

no I take full responsibility for the cheating and being a dick

raelynn.

yeah, and i was the last to know, and then you broke up with me and you were all over social media with that girl like days later.

carson

it wasn’t days

and you were the only one to know

raelynn.

you're right i think it maybe was only one day

carson

it was like a month

raelynn.

still too soon. still sus. still dated me and said you loved me and wanted to marry. me for 2 years.

carson

I did!

raelynn.

and you cheated on me, so none of that was real.

carson

I did really love you raelynn

raelynn.

you don't do that to someone you love.

you don't lie to them and make them look stupid

carson

I know I know

raelynn.

so did you just. stop the minute you decided you wanted to fuck her.

carson

no I was just stupid and not thinking

raelynn.

you really messed me up like permanently i'll never be who i was again.

carson

I’m so sorry

raelynn.

so do you get why it's not fair to ask me to decide today whether or not you can be in my life?

carson

oh cmon it was a joke

I wouldn’t actual expect that of you

raelynn.

i never know what to take seriously with you honestly

carson

I’ll wait as long as it takes, raelynn

raelynn.

to what end?

carson

wym

raelynn.

what's the goal

carson

whatever you want

raelynn.

that's too vague. there has to be something that you want. otherwise you wouldn't bother.

carson

I just want to make things right

I’m not the devil

raelynn.

i mean, they do always say that the devil doesn't always have horns and shit. they say he's got gorgeous hair and piercing eyes, and he lures you in.

carson

oh come on raelynn

raelynn.

see that, that was a joke.

carson

wyd tomo

raelynn.

whatever i want during the day and then work in the evening.

i'm a cage dancer, tips are good.

[...] why

carson

do you wanna get coffee

raelynn.

is there a particular reason you want to?

carson

just to hang out we dont have to

raelynn.

I don't know.

carson

that's ok

raelynn.

But maybe.

You're not trying to mess with me?

carson

no

raelynn.

it's just that the last time we sat across from each other you were breaking up with me.

carson

i can't break up with you rn

raelynn.

i know. that's not what it's about.

carson

well

raelynn.

it's just. that's how little trust is here, carson.

carson

idk what im supposed to say

im gonna give you space

raelynn.

you're supposed to just say what you mean .

carson

i am!

raelynn.

[...] I'll meet you. But just coffee. Not coffee and then my place, not coffee and then your place, not coffee and a kiss.

carson

i just said coffee

raelynn.

I know what you said, I just want to be as clear as I can be.

carson

crystal clear

raelynn.

Good. Um. Noonish?

carson

noon works!!

raelynn.

maybe the starbucks around the block from wes? I go to that one a lot. The staff is nice.

carson

sure, sounds good!

raelynn.

and carson? i literally am gonna ask just one single thing of you, okay?

carson

yes maam

raelynn.

don't screw any of my friends.

carson

idk who ur friends are

raelynn.

ugh.

carson

give me names, raelynn

raelynn.

i'm an extremely popular woman!

carson

bruh

raelynn.

well, there's delilah even though she and i aren't speaking. there's lana, there's niamh, roman, landon, ivy (i hope, soon), spencer, echo, rue, jules. if i think of anyone else i'll let you know.

also wes, wes is my friend, he counts.

carson

ok spen and i have been friends way before

and im not gonna fuck wes

or delilah

raelynn.

you don't get to argue with my list, carson.

carson

ok

raelynn.

you wanna fuck spence or something?

carson

i didn't say that

i just said we were friends!

raelynn.

okay.

i swear to god carson, you've aged me 50 years.

carson

oooh 75 yrs old

that;s hot

raelynn.

hate you

carson

<3

raelynn.

...don't

carsonBOT01/25/2021

</3

raelynn.

you don't even mean that lmao

carson

says u

raelynn.

it's not like you came back for me or whatever

carson

carson: i came back because i wanted to

raelynn

yeah i figured.

carson

carson: and i had to

raelynn

you had to come back or you had to leave?

carson

both

raelynn

so why did you leave?

carson

uh idk if you wanna know that

raelynn

did you run away with the other girl.

carson

no

raelynn

so why.

carson

my mom died

raelynn

[...]

carson

so i went to stay with my dad

raelynn

shit. i'm sorry.

carson

an awakening of some sort

raelynn

i really loved her.

carson

 i did too

so yeah i went to california. saw my dad. lived out there

raelynn

and you had to come back because...?

carson

someone had to do something about the apartment and house

plus wes was practically begging me to come back home

raelynn

yeah i get that.

marie

but I’m here now

raelynn. 

did you miss me.

you don't have to answer that. it's stupid.

carson

of course I did

raelynn.

okay. idk why i wanted to know.

carson

idk either

raelynn.

idk it's stupid

[...]

carson

I’m so sorry

I have a meeting at noon I forgot about

raelynn.

if you're backpedaling just say so.

carson

I’m not

raelynn.

so why should I believe you when you texted to cancel 15 minutes before?

carson

I have one brain cell and it’s my dad’s assistant’s

raelynn.

Was Delilah just making fun of me in that chat for not remembering ivy

carson

what does this have to do with me

raelynn

bc if so, it looks like you joined in.

carson

again, what does this have to do with me

raelynn.

Bc you can't act like you wanna fix things with me in here and make fun of me out there. Doesn't work like that.

carson

I’ve only told Delilah to fix things with you

what are you talking about !!!!!

raelynn.

The fight yesterday! When I said I dont remember fighting with Ivy and everyone shat on me. Delilah was making fun of me when she was talking about not remembering anyone.

carson

yes, I am that cruel and think that deeply into things

raelynn.

I know exactly how cruel you can be dude and I may be a dumbass but I didn't forget that.

carson

it literally wasn’t a dig at you

I was mocking Delilah

raelynn.

Do you swear on my tits?

carson

I’m not doing that

raelynn.

No matter whats going on with us i know you wouldn't risk them unless you're lying.

carson

oh my god

raelynn.

yeah I guess you're regretting this decision now

carson

you literally make me regret opening my mouth jfc

raelynn.

You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to.

carson

fine!

raelynn.

Fine.

carson

read

[...]

carson

hi

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

hi.

carson

im sorry

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

for?

carson

being dumb

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

i don't want to play games anymore. i'm a grownup.

carson

i thought we were 12

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

carson

carson

raelynn

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

can you be serious

carson

how serious

i would like to not be serious rn im trying to figure out this living situation

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

like above the age of 12 serious

carson

how's 16?

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

gah, ok

carson

<3

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

i told you not to do that

carson

</3

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

and you're not heartbroken so that's just a lie emoji

carson

dont tell me how im feeling

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

fine, you're not heartbroken over me

carson

don't tell me tht

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

but it's the truth, isn't it?

carson

no

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

i'm going to be very honest. if you are messing with me i cannot handle it. it hurts. so if you are messing with me right now, don't. ok?

carson

why would i be messing with you

do you want me to try to make things right

you can tell me no and ill quite literally just fuck off

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

[...] you can try.

carson

ok

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

...ok?

carson

im trying!!

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

your ok texts are just weird omg

carson

it's literally an ok text

what would u like me to say

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

i'm not mad or anything

about that

carson

please

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

pls what

carson

im trying so hard right now

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

okay, okay.

i accept your apology. For being dumb.

carson

thank u

one person has today

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

who else did u piss off?

carson

you still live at the same place

have u eaten

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

i moved but not far.

why?

carson

i was gonna send u dinner from that italian place

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

Alfredo's Pizza Cafe?

carson

yes maam

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

that would be nice.

do u remember my order?

carson

yes

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

*drops pin*

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

this is where i live now. it's slightly bigger than the old place. i have space to put my shoes finally.

carson

moving on up

it should be there in 10

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

thanks, all i had today was hot chocolate and gum.

carson

why

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

you know how i sometimes get an anxious tummy

carson

yeah :/

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

yeah i was feeling queasy

but i'm feelin a little better.

carson

that’s good </3

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

you don't gotta broken heart emoji about it, really.

carson

</3

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

well i see your broken heart emoji and raise you a *peach emoji*

carson

are u working tonight

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

yeah

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

Why?

carson

do you want to grab dinner before?

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

are you sure?

carson

yes, no meetings

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

then yeah, okay. I go into work at 7. So whatever time works for you before then probs works for me too.

carson

okay! 5 work?

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

yeah that'll be fine, where should i meet u?

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

I picked a table towards the back I hope that's chill.

carson

yes!

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

ok see you in a bit.

[...]

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

is it true.

carson

is what true

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

what sabrina said.

carson

yes

I wish I was dating my king

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

idk what the second part means but that's all i wanted to know. bye.

carson

I just wanted to fix things I never said anything about getting together

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

i didn't say i wanted to?

carson

then why are you upset

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

bc i knew something like this would happen but i didn't think it would happen literally the week you came back. i'm blindsided. you could've said something to me last night.

carson

we talked after

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

but i still didn't get like a text or anything? i had to find out from the chat as if we didn't decide to work on this. and it feels shitty.

carson

why would you get a text

𝓇𝒶𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃𝓃

because we were allegedly friends.

and you were gonna be honest with me.

but in any case, it doesn't really matter. i sincerely hope that you're happy. i'm gonna take some space for myself for right now, though.

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE ONE

“its week ONE. why is everyone being so cracked i hate it here i absolutely hate it here someone take me out with a sniper rifle” - aria 

HOH: Jev UPSIDE DOWN: Jacob & Gina NOMINEES: Kiki & Nash POV: Nash FINAL NOMINEES: Kiki & Mo EVICTED: Mo (14-1)

PRESEASON CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEdLzVoyttU&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=2&t=0s

JOEY

WOO holy shit this cast is filled with such insane personalities, and I cannot WAIT to play this game!

NASH

tell me why i'm already nervous

NASH

waits patiently for mo to pick another damn person to infect

GINA

skghkdgljhgdlj BRAIN HURTY,, sm people to talk to and everyone is so so nice! just glad I'm not winning hoh

ARIA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-bwCxQGRhk

alternative title: im very mean for 20 minutes

KIKI

so far the cast seems very sweet! a little quiet so far but otherwise im really enjoying talking to them!! and i think the twist is a cool idea but could be dangerous.... maybe a little too easy to expose alliances

GINA

I really like this cast! I'm actually really good friends with Aria (but we keeping that a secret) and I recognize Joshua from other orgs! Also, this twist seems super fun!

ARIA

okay,,,,okay,,,ok,,,k my brain is struggling to complie everything ive learned today i am STRUGGLING!!!!

So!! Lets make a tier list

We're working together (didnt even need to discuss)

-Nathan

-Jacob

-Gina

Asked to work together

-Joey

-Joshua

Implied we're working togther but lower tier

-Jev

-Josh C

-Monty

Super Sweet & Nice

-Bri

-Kiki

-Dem

-Mo

Sweet but i want a response

-Nick

-Emma

_saira

-jake

-Nash

So thats what i've gathered for today mostly, Jacob-Joey-Jev-Joshua all seem to really want to work close with me and we've talked a bit of game ( ITS ALL THE Js HELP) and seem super open while the girls seem more closed off as of now, kinda worried gina isnt gonna be active enough but idk, oh also everyone is noticing bri is CHAOS and that nick is talkative/assertive. more to update in a bit but heres a trust ranking for night one, one more thing jev said he doesnt like nathan or nick :OO and someone else mentioned nick being overbearing

1.Gina (i love her to the moon and back)

2. Nathan( the charisma SNAPPED this game go off sir!!)

3. Josh C (they're also charismatic but they're hecking hilarious and our view are pretty similar) 

4.Jev (they cared about me!! and im nice to them and this is just really wholesome)

5.Jacob (LOVE him but we havent talked enough beyond "we're winning this game")

6.Joshua (super fun to talk to, same og community king)

7.Bri (they wont keep info to themselves but shes SO sweet pls take my heart)

8. Joey (hes kinda sketching me out tbh but also he wants to work with me so)

9.Nick (they wouldnt put me up and thats all i could ask for)

10.Monty (PLEASE trust me i need ur braincells)

12.Kiki (sHES SO SWEET AND GOOD AT ART ADORE HER)

13.Mo (existential dread buddies <3)

14.Dem(approached game w/ me,,,but on the first message so might be doing that w/ everyone)

15.Nash (kate protection gang!!!)

16.Saira (we loVE DOGS! and thats it)

17.Emma (feel better soon,,,then pls talk to me k thanks)

18.Aria (dont trust anyone,,,not even yourself)

DEM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykD4dZjsDl0

BRIANNA

https://youtu.be/odNZXz-jNtw

MO

If alliances have been made already, I am gonna have some QUALMS... This cast is very cute, I love meeting new people, let's see we have

Aria - an ANGEL we've been talking about SIX the musical and slime tutorials

Brianna - The first person to recognize me using a Carole & Tuesday song in any of my videos. I'm v grateful.

Dem - He kinda jokes like a mom... 

Emma - I'm friends with Emma outside of the game and she is such a chaotic sweetheart. We been in the house a day and she plays Lois Griffon singing Doja Cat... for what...

Gina - I have not talked with her, I just said hi.

Jacob - Jacob is nice. I think I've yet to have a super positive ORG experience with him tho. So. Yeah.

Can I do the rest tomorrow cus I'm tired and just not in the mood. Okay thank you.

SAIRA

I was a little surprised by the amount of people dming me but they all seemed pretty nice! The twist sounds cool, I'm excited to see how it plays out

JEV

i definitely did NOT expect to win the first hoh but here we are, i have no idea what i'm gonna do but i need sleep so that's tomorrows problem

JOSH C

HELLO! it's your boy josh coming to give you some thoughts on the cast. coming into this game, the only person i know of beforehand is.. JACOB who has managed to snake me in both games we've played together so that's cute. i don't really have a choice but to trust him for now bc that's my only outside connection so we'll see how it goes. he's fun to talk to so i don't really mind but my eyes are PEELED for it going south.

my favorites just from the first night are probably aria, kiki, nathan, and saira. for no REAL reasons other than i just feel like i've had the best conversations with them and they were more fun than the rest of the cast. i'm not sure if those will stay the same but that's HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW!!

i've reached out to everyone and heard back from everyone (other than nash.. dunno what that's about so i'll just let it sit there. i don't REALLY mind bc it's good if i win HOH because it's a good reason to throw someone up there). everyone is cute enough, though i think i've connected LEAST with brianna, dem, joey, and monty? just haven't gotten a lot of energy back from them but i'm hoping that was just FIRST NIGHT jitters of people not putting in their full effort into their social game.

i'm going to spend today just chatting with people so i have a base relationship with them and that way if jev goes the route of asking people who they'd him to nominate -- i'm not someone they name simply for not knowing who i am. trying to be a little SOCIAL QUEEN. fun and funky so let's hope it pays off.

for the twist, i'm not really sure how to play this. i don't think the first round is going to have the BEST power hidden in it but it'd be nice to know that i for sure won't be first boot. (though i'm feeling OKAY enough that jev won't kill me bc we've talked at least). i think i'm going to wait a minute before i ask someone to send me in, or someone just sends me in on their own accord. that way people don't look at me for having a secret power bc it'll be really easy to narrow down who has one and that's just such an unnecessary way to get a target on your back. i like the twist, it's just hard to figure out how to play it and maybe i should just wait until someone does it for me or i'm one of the later people to get it so i get safety when there are less people in the house and it'll be harder to survive.

xoxo gossip josh

SKINNY NICK

https://youtu.be/yNBReh_pBPk

NATHAN

He's here, he's queer... and oddly enough starting off by not doing a Video DR; however, I think when making an initial first impression/trust list this method seems to go a little smoother... First off, coming right off of Big Brother Pasio and thrown into this game has made my head hurt more than it should. I forgot how annoying and tiresome the initial conversations are with everybody. With that said, I have begun to kinda pick out a path that may be suitable for me this season. In Pasio, my goal was to lay low, not be seen, and form connections. That strategy is going to be partially active this time around as well. I'm a big personality, and while that's fun and cute, I learned by keeping a low profile in the beginning portion while remaining social it does wonders. I don't need to be a Skinny Nick character and be talking in the house call and house chat at every ounce I get. With that being said, this season is full of Pasio players... some in which I had both good and bad experiences with. However, pushing that aside I really have my eyes set and locked on Aria. I have a feeling that the other Pasio alumni may see her for how she played in Pasio and I do as well, but I want to make sure her and I are on as good as terms as possible. She did NOT like me in Pasio, so rekindling that flame is ultra important. Alongside Aria, I get to play with both Monty and Jacob who I've had rocky relationships with in the past, but have grown to become great friends outside this. Working with them is going to be vital, but keeping them too close is suicide. With that being said, here's my initial trust ranking:

1. Aria

2. Jacob 

3. Nash

4. Jev

5. Josh

6. Monty

7. Joey

8. Nick

- - -

END LIST

JOSH C

okay, well nominations just came out and i can't say i'm too surprised that nash got nominated for eviction considering she hasn't responded to me yet and most everyone else is saying the same. i can't really imagine anyone using the veto on her unless she has a complete social turn around in the next 24 hours but that seems like.. a stretch. just gotta hope she doesn't win! we love an easy first week boot!

i'm a little sad about kiki getting nominated because i've really hit it off with them, but i think it's a good way to secure some trust with them and spark off a relationship. i've been trying to already be like YOU GOT THIS, YOU'RE STAYING! NASH DOESN'T TALK TO ANYONE! and i think they're being receptive. i like that i can joke around with them, so i'm hoping they enjoy me as much as i enjoy them.

i've also had aria and jake come talk to me about noms which means they trust me and that's GOOD. i want to try to secure something with them soon because i think they're both people that would want to work with me and i know that jake doesn't have a lot of connections already so being an early ally of his would be BIG.

just trying to focus on being a cute little social presence so people don't really focus on targeting me early on. i think this is a game full of half social players and some.. not so exciting people so it'll be easy to just slip through by not being the most boring person around. i don't want to promise TOO many people loyalty just yet but i think building a small core for myself will be important to keep me safe and i'm hoping that can come with jake/aria/kiki/jacob(?)

JAKE

chile............. where the fuck am i?

i dont know what dimension i'm in right now with these people but i am ready to show them what i am made of!! so far i've felt..... on the outs of most of what is going on so im just gonna give my perspective on things so far!! 

the cast....... ill just do an assessment

dem: said maybe three words to me since we've started... so there's that

saira: seems like a queen! i def need to talk to her more i've been sleeping on her and i think we'll get along well

joey: girl sometimes idk what this man is saying to me but we're rolling w it..

nash: her "sick" ass hasnt responded to my message from yesterday so bye

joshua: oh he can work! hes fun to talk to and i def see some potential to working with him. hes only 16 so yung so pure i remember those days </3

nathan: hes so hot god i literally want to eat his entire ass but i dont wanna be creepy so im trying to subtly flirt with him SDLKJFSKF he seems to be a sneaky player to me but hopefully thats not the case and we can be a showmance later on hehe

emma: LEGEND. QUEEN! PUT SOME RESPECT ON HER NAMEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my ride or die in this thing <3

jev: oh jevfrey my angel im so happy he's here!!! he's a loyal guy from what i remember and ill def be working with him ESPECIALLY now that hes the first hoh ayyyyY!!!! i feel completely safe with him

kiki: oh i LOVE THEMMMM we had a great connection from the jump and i have a soft spot for them for sure. theyre sadly nominated this week i did not know why jev made that decision but i will make sure they stay know THAT

monty: monty left me on read :( we had a kinda awk convo so idk how monty feels about me right now?? i def dont think he trusts me and ugh i hate the tension!!!!!!!! i hope we can resolve it all and be friends again

josh: KDJKFG i love this man... hes not entire truthful and is def playing me a bit but i think he's great and hopefully he doesnt turn out to be the snake i think he has the potential to be

gina: idk what to think of this girl she doesn't reply much to me and we haven't really spoken much for me to really get a good read of her. i infected her and idk if she'll take that a certain way i came to her with the explanation that we just havent talked as much. idk shes fine?

mo: hahhaha hes a cutie too and i think hes not much of a talker so i think hes nice for the most part it's just kinda hard talking to him sometimes

brianna: um....... yeah we haven't spoken yet and she infected me so idk how to feel about her yet. she claims it was this number system but do i fully believe thats what she based it on? not really.. so ill def have to talk to her more

aria: NOW THIS........ THIS IS ELEGANCE. THIS IS CLASS. THIS IS EXPENSIVE. THIS IS TASTE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! this 15 year old girl has me shaking to my god damn core with her social game within a 20 minute conversation ive already devoted my entire game to her and our "attention whores" alliance. iM GAGGGEDDDD i really like her and i know shes a big threat but if shes with me then we can do some damage together hehe

skinny nick: SKINNYYYYY i dont have much to say about nick i think they're well connected in this game so i have to make sure i'm good with them a little more. our convos are a little dry hopefully that'll change as the game goes on

jacob: a sweetie.. i really like jacob as a person but as a player he scares the shit out of me DSLKFGFKJ he lied to me like every round in BBHOS9 so i dont rly know if i can trust him. he def has other friends in this community hes playing with so ill have to sus out who exactly that is...

and......... yeah! kiki and nash are nommed. gina n jacob went to the down under. i think jacob will def get whatever power is down there he is one lucky man so i wouldn't be surprised if it's something good. oh well hopefully when i go i get whatever the best thing is a dpov mayhaps!.......

i hope the next hoh is something i can win because i want these people to TALK TO MEEEE tell me where their heads are at for god's sake! me on day 2: why arent you telling me all your alliances? dFGKLF i feel like im okay just gotta talk to some said people more and try to make sure they dont hate me!

JOSHUA

I thought Jev was nice but I'll have to go back on that because he absolutely is not fooling a single person, I thought we'd be allies but he's been acting sus all day so he can choke on rat piss. Joey and nick literally aren't talking to me at awl so... they can choke and die too. Aria is talking to me a lot but I know she talks to everyone a lot sjdkjds queen of big brother pasio... but I trust her for now I guess. Other than that I'm not super like concerned with anyone else I mean brianna kiki gina mo are nice I guess.. mo is a little hard to talk to though so :( anyway glad to be here but my social is kind of rocky skjdjskdj : ( ( ( ( ( 

JEV

SKINNY NICK

https://youtu.be/0Kb-twzCkYI

MO

trying to hint to dem that I’m not okay... wonder if it’s working

ARIA

its week one. its week ONE. why is everyone being so cracked i hate it here i absolutely hate it here someone take me out with a sniper rifle im sick of this, but its fine im gonna try to do my best to explain EVERYTHING bc whew is there a lot..

First off lets start with the fact ive been talking with everyone from the moment i woke up and my fingers hurt so much but also now people like me and thats all i need in life so heck yes!! So when it was nash vs kiki i start planting seeds to keep kiki with people and then nash wins veto so thats thrown out the window yayyyy- 

Things start happening after jev renoms Mo. First off i get a call with crack kills (joey bri me) and we discuss the vote a little bit with Joey leaning towards keeping Mo and Me/Bri wanting to keep Kiki, joey leaves and me and bri talk about the alliance we were invited to (jacob josh jake kiki us) and then i notice theres a house vc which i then go and join alone.

It was silent for a bit before they mentioned they were talking about votes and were being kinda secretive about names but i asked directly so Mo tells me that dem told him that there was 5 confirmed votes against Mo (nash Jacob Nick Joshua/Jacob(dont remember which) and Josh c) he said the names really fast so i mightve missed a few and nathan interjects about my notes and like??? shut up nathan???? anyways i act all shook about an alliance and we talk about votes and apparently when mo campaigned to bri she just sent "hugs" and im caCKLIGN FDSGFDSH anyways that confirmed 5 votes is gonna make people nervous and cause people to keep Mo which like, im not totally against but i just want a unan vote please. Also i think dem & emma dont really trust me which is big ughhh idk if one of the pregame girlies (any of the names from that list) win hoh next week ill throw one of them utb easy peasy 

So then i start asking around to gina and she ghosts me??? gina NEVER ghosts me so im sketched out there and Mo is asking for my help when i already told kiki i would save her its such a messsss. So if i had to guess the sides i would say 

PREGAME GIRLIES: Nash Jacob Jake Joshua Josh c kiki

UNCONNECTED NOT PROTECTED: Dem Joey Emma Nathan Mo

Whomst: Saira Jev Monty Nick Gina Bri

Help: Aria

So, where do i go from here? How do i make sure this vote comes out hecking even,,, im not sure. nvm i am sure because Mo just told me they want to give up HFBHJBSDFS MO MY SAVIOR ILL NEVER FORGET YOU KING <<<<3333333 okay nvm hes not fully giving up but im giving him an avenue that would make my life much easier where im telling him to have good convos with people so they connect more and if anyone feels moved theyll come to me and ill get the ball rolling with a easy peasy unan vote hopefully. But i think i might be able to manipulate this situation to my advantage WHEW im hyped now!!

So lets say mo leaves the thought of those "five confirmed votes" is still gonna be in peoples heads mainly dem/joey/emma/nathan which might form into a side and go hard for hoh taking out some big social player and then we have two sides going after each other which would be cute.

I would make trust rankings but i trust no one fbhsafd and thats on pewiod

JAKE

WHEW!!!!!!!!!!! im not the first boot :~) let's celebrate that.... 

but i'm not too thrilled about these noms...... im happy nash won POV she started talking to me more and shes actually really cool so i wanted her to stay. i am sad kiki is nominated i don't want them to go at all..... and mo being the replacement nominee was a shock to everyone i think..... 

i don't have a problem with mo leaving cuz we have a weak connection i just thought dem was going up based on my prior conversations with jev. he says dem started talking to him more but i just wish jev would talk to me and emma about his decisions if we're "aligned"?? like whats the point of having an alliance if we don't have any say in your decisions?

today i woke up to a message from josh asking me what i think about being in an alliance with jacob brianna aria and kiki........ and im just like wtf where this come from and he said that jacob is making it and its just his fave ppl??? im like ok like im not one to turn down an alliance but i let him know that i dont rly trust jacob n brianna as much as the others in the alliance. hopefully this makes him feel close to me and not blab his mouth to jacob ab that! 

brianna has yet to speak to me and jacob is just someone im always gonna have a hard time trusting sooo if i have to nominate them down the line i won't hesitate unless this alliance is genuine and helping me in the game.

i really only trust emma so far with aria being my secret spy and big meat shield im gonna need in this game. aria's super well connected and im hoping she'll be able to provide me w the information i need to take bitches down later on. 

i think i'd be worried about brianna winning bc we've never talked but at least we have this alliance possibly in the works?? and i dont know if nick would nominate me we haven't talked much..

but i want to win the next hoh so people actually talk to me LOL praying i can win

[hoothootmotherfluffers]

hi hi!! i love your blog and i was wondering if the mods have ever tried to match each other up with anyone?? (looking at you mod chimi! XD) if you haven't, you should!! who would each of the mods be matched up with for haikyuu!!, BNHA, and KNB?

HELLO hi this is chimi and actually before i was a mod, akaashi matched me with kuroo on here hahahaha but i haven’t officially matched anyone up?? haha but here i go!!!!

MIRIAM: i informally matched you up with iwaizumi and i still stand by that because the two of you would be so so SO sweet together and so supportive and like an ultimate parent duo?? so kind. so great. for BNHA i told you the other day (lmao) i’d match you up with ojirou!! he’s so kind and good and he’s honestly such a good guy and he really means well and i feel like between the two of you, you could guide any of your friends into doing good things!! for KNB, i have no clue because i’ve seen like two episodes and it makes no sense so i’m gonna leave that up to nana and akaashi haha

AKAASHI: hmmmmm for haikyuu i’d match you with suga!! you need someone who’s kind and supportive and always there but also someone who would push you out of your comfort zone a little?? and i feel like suga would be the calm presence you need without being too much :) for BNHA you and sparky!! denki is his actual name and i feel like he’d be fun enough to let you live a lil but also exercise your chance to be in control and you’d love that lmao you guys would be super cute. i love sparky. idk for KNB but probably danny phantom guy

NANA: okay i know i matched you up with ennoshita and i still lowkey stand by that but i feel like you and aone would be so cute??? idk you’re vivacious and he’s so dead silent but WOW you’d be cute lmao. for BNHA you and frogger (i think her name is tsuyu) because she’s a lil weird and you guys could b weird together but she’s still very sensible and could help when you get a lil crazy and you two would be a v v good match

LILO: OH MAN i think i’d match you with kags?? you’re both kind of serious but i feel like you’d get him to loosen up a little and between the two of you, both of you could have more fun!! for bnha i’d put you with Iida because you would definitely help him relax but he’d keep you on a good schedule and keep you motivated and it’d be adorable

anyways i’m chimi and that’s my analysis mod chimi out 

aye it’s my turn

MIRIAM: I will forever ship you with Iwa-chan, no exceptions. lol idk bnha so i’ll skip, but knb!!! hoo i think i’d ship you with kasamatsu? idk i feel like you two would just be so loyal to each other? and so cute? idk man but i can soooo  see it happening and like kasamatsu knows how to treat a lady right and thats exactly what u deserve because you’re gonna come home from work all tired and he’ll be there waiting with a bottle of wine and movies.

CHIMI: I ship you with Kiyoko!! Honestly you’re the prettiest couple ever and kiyoko would treat you so right!! she knows just the right things to make u blush like hell and she would soooo use it to her own advantage. for knb, i ship you with midorima! his uptight ass would piss you off so much and he’d be one of those people who are like “he’s an asshole why do i like him” but you guys would make such a good power couple honestly? like you both deeply care about each other and you constantly tease each other its so cute im

NANA: ok pls no hate but i ship you with Ushiwaka. idk why tbh? i just feel like you’re gonna be the one who’s there for him as he is for you and you will go through your battles together in each others arms. for knb, i ship you with Takao!! (i fukn love him lmao) because i feel like he’s piss you off sometimes by being cocky but he’ll find away to make you laugh, and even when things get bad, despite his asshole cheekiness, he’s there for you!!

LILO: man lets see, i think i’d ship you with ennoshita? since i feel like you’ll show him what it means to be treated right, and you will control his sassiness when it gets out of hand because lord know chikara is able to slice anyone with his burns. for knb i’d say kuroko? idk man i think he’d genuinely be interested in you as a person and i feel like you would’ve made a big effect on him by doing or saying somthing that means a lot to him.

ye thats all, thank -akaashi

HEY HEY HEY Now its my turn and since i want to i will also match the other mods with khr and assassination classroom

Sooooooooooo

CHIMI: For haikyuu i can only say the same as AKAASHI, You and Koyko would be a really great pair. And Tanaka and Noya would die in a corner because of so much beauty on one place. For KNB I would say Riko because both of you are strong woman and have do deal with a bunch of kids. BNHA hmmmmm, that was had because it is a long time ago since i read the manga but i think you would really get along with Torodoki, i don’t know why but i lowkey ship you both. AS I think Karasuma is a good match for you, at first i thought maybe Bitch-Sensei but nah he is better. And one thing you know this Badass of a man would love you belive me. And for the last in KHR i ship you with Fon (i know that you don’t know him so if you google him don’t be shocked  just ask :P) hes is a real calm character and you two would get super along.

MIRIAM: Haikyuu and Iwa-chan do i need more to say, when is the wedding and can i make the decoration for the party? KNB I would say Kasamatsu because he is like the KNB Iwa-chan. To be honest they a really similar. Ok another hard BNHA but i think Uraraka would be a great match. Both of you are really cute and sweet and aaaaaaaaaaa i high-key ship you both ok. Isogai for AS with his kind and honest personality he would be a good match for you. And the last match for you is from KHR and i would say that i ship you with Dino. This Italian Mafia Boss would adore you and carry you with his hands when he’s not lying on the ground because he’s a clumsy handsome shit.

AKAASHI: For Haikyuu I say you and Kenma fit together, especially after i read the latest HQ chapter, you would make a great couple. KNB was really easy there i ship you with Kiyoshi, he is sweet and caring and i think he would take good care of you. BNHA was had, really hard serious i need really to reread this shit. But i ship you with Denki. I think you two fit together. AS was easy i ship you with Nagisa, both of you are the definition of look harmless but truthly you are badass. Beware world this two will take over you with their cuteness. And the last but not least KHR. I ship you with the rain Guardian of the vongola 10th generation. Yamamoto is a cute airhead with a golden hearth and would love you with every inch of his body.

SOOOO i hope you like it — mod nana

Okay haha my turn!!! First i am sorry to dissapoint y’all (totally not from south usa - i just like to say it lol) but i only can do matchups for haikyuu!!, i haven’t seen the other anime mentioned, I KNOW!! But as extra i do everyones favorite abs swimming anime.

CHIMI: I matched you before and i stand by it, you and Bokuto man!! That would be an explosive and wonderfull thing. I mean he would love you will all his heart and hold you in his beefy arms it would be awesome. I mean it is very possible that you two die doing some serious dumb shit, but hey if thats not worth it, you don’t deserve to have him lol (and i know you do!!!). For Free!: that will possibly be a surprise for you (and maybe you have to google the name ahah i sure did) Seijuro Mikoshiba. You two would be peferect for eachother, i mean he is funny and goofy but still is very serious about sports and his team and i think thats really you.

AKAASHI: you need someone who is strong, loyal and sweet at the same time. Someone who tells you that you are beautiful and sweet everyday of your life. I have the feeling that Akaashi would be a great pick for you. I all seriousness, i dont only pick him because i know he is your fav. I think he is a kinda serious character who will take your problems and moods very seriously and will comfort you in the most amzing way. He may seem reserved some times but he gives the best hugs and will wisper in your ears from time to time how beautiful you are. Free!: Okay okay i think i ship you with Gou, i mean she is very devotedly and cares much about others. She would make you nice meals and you two would sit together talking sports and literaly everything you come up with.

NANA: okay i told you that before and my opinion on that has not changed. I love to see you with Tanaka, you two would be perfect for eachother. He is supportive and will always be by your side. Also he will pick you up when you are sad or angry and will make you laugh again. I think you two would rock! Free!: There is just on answer to that and not just because i know you like him - Rin Matsuoka. I mean he is hard from the outside but deeply cares about people he loves. So yeah he would make you little gifts from time to time and just hiding them in the appartment waiting for you to find them and when you scream up in joy he stands behind you gently kissing you on the head. I mean YES!! i can see it.

I hope that was’nt to cheezy, well you know me haha i am a fluff ball haha and also THANK YOU for that awesome question i really, really loved doing this!!!! - mod Miriam

[swearronchanel]

Kicking off the hiatus with 5.04

A few people have requested that I continue my commentaries™ during the hiatus & after all the positive feedback, I couldn’t say no! But I expected to have an awful day & it actually went well so I thought I’d go ahead and do it now. You know since I’m going to avoid all my responsibilities anyway it might as well be for a good cause🙃

I watched a lot of shameless on Netflix today so it’s nice to watch something wholesome for a change of pace 😂

“The world was shifting on its axis in 1961, strides were being made, decisions taken, questions asked..” Vanessa’s narration is always on point like I wish I had the patience to post all her quotes 😭😂

Aw sister Mary Cynthia! I hope she’s in the Christmas special

My bby trixie looking flawless while riding a bike, goals

But who is this nun they’re having a service for lol ??

Like it’s kinda irrelevant oops,  r i p & dios te bendiga but why do we care? at least I don’t

Isn’t this girl from something? She looks so familiar

i remember saying this before .. oh yea she’s from game of thrones I think. I don’t watch it though haha

“Angel? I could get used to that!” Aw my bby is so cute like yes trix ur an angel

yikes that cough lady, I have a stuffy nose rn and I’m hoping I don’t start coughing 😭cause then I wanna be in a coma cause I hate being sick

Aw he'a so excited! He got into university👏🏼 that was legit me though 😂 I’m so irrational and literally only applied to one university (well I filled out many applications but didn’t submit any others because you gotta pay so I tried to wait and see if I got accepted to where I wanted first😂) I found out in English while on my phone instead of doing work & I screamed and just ran out the classroom 😂 I went to my guidance councilor and told everyone in the main office and then called my parents who *were nervous I wouldn’t get in* but also were literally going through security in the airport on their way to Dominican Republic .. ah, I was full of excitement and hope. Look at me now 3 semesters in &I’m over it 😂😂 it’s so stressful and mentally/emotionally draining and sometimes I’m just like how do I become a trophy wife asap?

BACK TO THE SHOW THOUGH

My bby SHELAGH! 😍 she is so precious in her suit aww, but lets be real the navy suit is the best™ one she owns. But I still like her best in uniform at the clinic though 💁🏼

she’s over here giving a talk on giving birth at home & Im just like holy shit SHE JUST HAD A BABY IN THEIR NEW HOME, I STILL CANT BELIEVE IT😭!!!!

Tom’s so excited for Ian it’s so cute and sweet

And Tom is so cute and attractive ugh, he could get it

oh damn wait Mrs Cottingham has the baby with no limbs

aw yea and she wanted a girl

I agree though little boys are gremlins 😂😂 from ages like 7-14, get them away from me 😂

Ian all hopeful for their future and then boom he’s a dad. That went from 0 to 💯 real quick

Phyllis!! & lol sister W giggling

But damn why they all acting like Sister J is too old and incapable 😂 she wants to go to St Cuthberts, let her

Sister Monica Joan upset aw😭 don’t worry sister you’re Help is needed

Pats and Deels look cute “tanning” outside

“You want to see Anita Ekberg in that fountain just as much as I do”  Lmaoo 😂😂 for real though have u ever seen La Dolce Vita? Like Anita Ekberg was too hot to handle. I wish I looked that good damn

Trixie came to thirdwheel even though she isn’t unaware she is lol

But Trixie is serving summer looks™ I love it 😍

Damn though Patsy’s legs are pretty pasty 😂😂

Trixie wondering what the hell kinda magic bra Anita had on, literally same cause I want it. Always need good quality strapless bras for summer👍🏻

Patsy inviting Trixie and Delia gave the side eye omg 😂

Here comes Babs lmao

LOL DEELS IS SALTY OMG

ugh this is when Babs first got with Tom and they were annoying lmao, I got over it though

If I was Trixie I’d be lowkey mad too like that was her ex-fiancé but I’m glad they got over it and are friends despite that 💕 cause I know petty girls that would just cut the other off

WHY DO THEY PRONOUNCED SCHEDULE LIKE THAT? And honestly How?? Like I can’t even lol it’s hard. Oops is my American showing

Sister J out here

Ohh yea this matron is a bitch lmao, vete ya

What is the correlation between going to grammar school and getting pregnant ?? @ Ian’s mom

Lol Trixie’s just like pls don’t ask me

ugh get this nurse/matron or what ever tf she is off my screen before I smack her

I swear Jenny Agutter has such a relaxing voice, like she really can calm you down & tell you all will be well & you’ll just be like “yea you right”😭

Tom is so rational and sensible because if I walked in I’d immediately start screaming and all that like “calm tf down people" 

Pats and Deels sneaking around in a convent lol it gives me anxiety always thinking “oh shit u think someone will walk in?”

LOL OKAY TOM YOU TELL YOURSELF TRIXIE IS MAD ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE

Damn Tom you just made Babs feel like a rebound™

“Who’s to say we won’t carry on” ya will be fine & get married next year chill out

So Babs is only 23, how old are the other nurses *well how old do you think*??

WHEN WILL WE SEE A NONNATUN BIRTHDAY?? *I preferably want to see Trixie or Shelagh have one* but I’d take anyone really, like these people literally celebrate every other damn holiday/event but no one has had a birthday?? Except for Jenny and Chummy but they’re both gone lol

yikes emphysema, one of my grandfathers died from that. 70 odd years of tobacco smoking 😬 he did someone love to be 85 yrs old though. Idk how, he couldn’t breathe for so long

I love Phyllis just saying again for the millionth time

Aw Trix 💔 you will be happy soon💕😭

See! She said w/o Sister J she’d be screaming! Her presence is calming

Emergency c-section aye dios

Turn up at the pub

Lol funny how the dad gave Tom orange juice bc he’s a vicar but he was drunk af the night before his wedding 😂 drunk enough to have little memory and to be hungover the next day

we’ve all been there tho I don’t judge

Is it really CtM if there’s not at least one mention of babycham a series?

c-sections are wild omg

also I’ve never been under anesthesia so I’d be scared af

LOL & also I’ve never had a kid so that’s scary too duh

“Oh God another one” ahh omg

Do you think that was a doll ??

Again this show makes everything look real af so I never know

Is the doctor here the Mr Kenely that I hate??

They really left that baby there to die like o m g

Sister J praying/blessing the baby 💔💔 my freaking heart omg

again this nurse is on my screen and I need her to go, preferably to carajoland

“may the lord bless you and keep you”!! 💔😭

the third deformed baby and they didn’t report it??

“I’m not drunk” I mean you’re sitting on the floor in the bathroom so I’d think you were too 😂

Lol remember.. *cringes* no wait lets not

Tom worked in a record shop that’s cute

damn Tom do you really think telling them to just settle is the best way to comfort him

Aw sister J needs a hug😭😢💕

and yes prayer you’re right sister MJ

Sister MJ, Sister MC & Sister J comforting each other is so pure, all the they have scenes together wash my sins away for a second

wait where tf is sister Winifred lmao, did she just scadaddle after compline? snuck out to see a heathen movie i bet  jk jk I’m sure she only sneaks to quality films

but then I say dumb shit like that ^ or even worse/more inappropriate & the sins return😂😂

There’s my bby Shelagh! And in uniform, love it. 😭😍

Whenever Shelagh goes back to work next series I hope we see more of her being a nurse cause I love it

Wild that the hospital was just not saying anything about the deformed babies

Sister J coming to the best detective in Poplar, Dr Watson aka Shelagh Turner aka secret agent Shealgh Turnova™ 😂😂 *forever one of my fave lines of hers*

Lmao Tim helping out old ladies, being a good seed & too perfect of a teen

But damn boy comb your hair!

“I haven’t boiled any urine today, nice to have a change of pace” Lol Babs😂😂

oh no she’s bleeding 😢

I’m having flashbacks to Shelagh’s threatened miscarriage like lets not go down that painful memory lane  

Sister J told Ruby it was a girl bc she knew she wanted a girl ughhh 😢

Ruby thinks it was a punishment 💔 ugh my heart & ugh again makes me think of when Shelagh thought she was being punished/greedy when they told her she couldn’t have a baby 💔

Stop the sadness I say, stop it now

“We haven’t got a fairy godmother between us” WHERE IS PHYLLIS WHEN SHE IS NEEDED?

And Poor what’s her name 💔💔

oh yea it’s Linda omg how could I forget that’s my Gram’s name

But Shelagh and Trixie are interacting!!

It’s about a patient but at least they’re speaking right .. LMAO BUT WAIT ILL NEVER BE OVER HORMONAL SHELGH YELLING AT TRIXIE ABOUT THE FAMILY PLANING CLINIC ENTRANCE

ALSO: I’LL KEEP SAYING IT TILL I DIE, ALL I WANT IS A TRIXIE & SHELAGH FRIENDSHIP! 😭😭💕💖💖 they’re my bbys and I’ve been asking nicely

shit ¡¡ @beatrix-franklin wrote a damn essay as to why we need/want it !!

PLS LET IT HAPPEN @ HEIDI & OTHER WRITERS😭💔

Shelagh’s grey cardigan is actually cute *she just doesn’t need anymore lol*

“What the poor pet really needs is a good cry, a bottle of aspirin and a hug in no particular order..but the hug is of prime importance”  you see. We could’ve have a cute scene of Trixie visiting Shelagh in the hospital & a little parallel of when she visited her in the sanatorium

or Just give me Trixie hugging Shelagh and I’ll cry of joy 😭💕

omg wait

shit I forgot Ian put his head in the oven

Angela playing on the floor !! So precious 💖

“..Don’t think they’d thank you for that Patrick, they’re both younger than me”  Lol I always laugh at that, it’s kinda cute. I like when Shelagh has funny lines , why didn’t Patrick say anything back 😂 there could’ve been cute playful banter. Even this series we could’ve heard him call her an elderly primigravida is a joking/playful banter context ..BUT at least we know now Shelagh is 36!

Yea man those bombs impacted multiple generations

“So World War II is history now is it?” I seriously love these little lines of Shelagh’s lol. Also funny how she prob sees her self as old, and she was what, like my age, when the war needed?? 18 or 19 depending on her birthday (We’d know but nonnatuns apparently don’t ever have birthdays)

Shit. Wait..I feel. Kinda strange and scary to think my future children will learn in school the events I’ve lived through so far ??

okay lets not think about that

what’s the sluice? I know he washes instruments but what exactly is the sluice? The room ? Idk

Aw Angela crying, one of the the only times we’ve heard her make a sound lol

WAIT HE COULD BE SUED FOR BREAKING THE ENGAGEMENT WHAT??

“How long have we been broken off?” “A year. To be precise a year and ten days”  I know they weren’t really a good match but aw 😭 it was nice while it lasted

Trixie Bby 💔💔 happiness is coming your way I promise

“I never know when I love you the most. But I sometimes think these are the times I love you best..”😭😭 BYE IM DEAD AGAIN & MY HEART EXPLODED AGAIN😭💔💕💕

thinking about it though, they’ve never actually said I love you properly, have they??

See Patrick’s little med school anecdote, can Shelagh share one anytime soon? About anything from her past, I’m just curious.

Was that just a piece of “in the mirror” or is it playing in my head? Honestly it happens quite often, I’ll swear I hear a song and it’s actually in my head

alright Ian so why were you marrying her? you switching it up kid

I’m calling him kid like he’s not probably older than me lmao

Phyllis in her robe I love it

Trixie serving yet another look™😍

I’m so glad Trixie gave Babs her “blessing” & became good friends. So pure, we don’t need any more women being put against each other

“Fuzzy felt apostles” WHY AM I LAUGHING AT THAT? It’s not even funny?

Now the service for a nun we never knew, filled with extra nuns we will never know or care about.

I love that the nurses are at the service lol, like they probably don’t have to be but still there for fam

& Shelagh there wearin a mantilla, so sweet😭💕

“God hugs you” aw sister MC 😭❤️

You gotta admit even if you aren’t religious this show does make you feel some type of faith

“We knew so little then, in a world that seems so filled of opening doors and bright horizons. We thought only of what was new and better because it was new and better. And it would take us to places we had never been before.” VANESSA😭 she never fails with the narration, never.

Trixie helping Babs fix her bracelet bc there’s no hard feelings and she’s happy for them aw

“..We couldn’t see what was coming or understand yet what had already come to pass, yet so much still to learn”

Oh shit that foreshadow was heavy, especially because it ends with a shot of baby cottinghams body in the box.

I don’t think I picked up on that the first time ..                                     Anyway it’s 1:15am I should go to bed I have class in the morning 😭😂

The End.🙃

[survivingjapan]

EPISODE 4 “The World Doesn't Revolve Around Jaiden Hantz” Jaiden

I voted for Jonathan because I thought that's what people were doing. Ashley went home.... Jonathan called out Alex after tribal who is my ONLY ally in this game.... I did the duel and lost so now we have to go straight back to tribal after a fucked up messy vote........ do i want to be alive???????

NGRJKDLANVJKADFLNJVKAVFDNAJNVADNVJ;ANEFUBNVAUDBNFJBNAVJKBNDAVJADSNBJVADSVNJKLADVNS I CAN'T BELIEVE I WON LMFAO SHOUTOUT TO MY ROOMMATE FOR HEARING ME BE THE RUDEST I'VE EVER BEEN TO HIM! I'M SORRY RYAN! SHOUTOUT TO Ruthie/Kendall/Alex/Drew (whichever one I decided upon) for saving your life in this game an extra round. I was about to vote you out, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Tbh I was kinda looking forward to losing this round and dedicating tonight to plotting someone's life being destroyed, but I guess winning is okay too. Now my tribe likely won't vote me out because I saved their asses because everyone was fucking PRAISING Ashton for winning last time, so now I guess I'm in the same boat, but he did his for 5 hours and I did mine for 12 minutes, but oh well. Sorry Richie, I hope you don't go home because you gave it your all! I also totally probably wouldn't have won that duel if it wasn't Survivor Trivia considering it's one of the only things in life I'm actually good at. Time to get high now :)

Why haven't they exiled Jaiden, who says that the reason the word "SOMEONE" was capitalized was because it had to be a fat person. Jaiden ur dumb bye

So after Brian was rescued and Pat sent home, I knew I might have put myself out there a little far.....so knowing that we're going to tribal again, I want to pull back the reigns and slide back into the shadows.

The three names that are coming up most often are Jonathan, Ashley, and Kage. Jonathan's name seemed the most rampant in the earlier part of the round until he came online to form a power alliance between himself, Sarah, Brian, Tommy, Junior, Jaiden, and myself. This changed the minds of the people in the alliance to targeting Ashley instead (given that she was semi-inact and on the outer)

Side-Note: Brian, Sarah, and I have an alliance so it works perfectly for us to camouflage.

And Kage, oh silly Kage, thinking that Ashley was somehow the right person to go after for his game....basically campaigned against her too despite her campaigning against Jonathan, thus helping both of them. Classic Kage.

Anyways. I was going to tell Alex about it considering I still had allegiance to him (as Junior did to Linus and Richie), but then I come to find out that he was co-leading an alliance with Kage that included the two of them, Tommy, Linus, and Ashley. Tommy claimed it had been made the first round and had halfway dissolved but thought I should know since we are so "close" and since they flipped on him in the first vote...

Now, although I'm not sure I believe it entirely yet, I didn't tell Alex about the vote going against Ashley because A) I kinda thought he knew B) In the case that Tommy is telling the truth, I don't want to be the idiot that caused a correct idol play to occur and have Jonathan go home. I can mend my bridge with Alex despite what the truth is, but I can't mend the bridge with my alliance if I were the reason one of them went home.

So although Ashley seemed like a gem, she had to go....now let's hope I can stay in the safe-zone and stay alive at our next tribal...

Kage is such a sweet guy and I know he means no harm but girl... you're going home.  It was inevitable that his target was going to be front and center and it seems like this round is his unless he pulls out an idol.  I do think that he would vote another direction, say Richie or Jonathan, but I'm not 100% sure.  He thinks it would be iconic if we went from enemies to allies, as do I, but I'm not sure if that's in my best interest.

I told Richie a lot of stuff this round so far because I want him to trust me.  We didn't have any layer of trust built up yet, so I needed to do that quick, and I think I have successfully done that.

Also, Jonathan tried to pull a big move and mentioned maybe actually targeting Richie like Kage suggested to him, but I shut that shit down real quick.  I don't think it's a good move to save someone who we could work with in the future and is trustworthy as of yet compared to someone who is a complete mess and has thrown so many names out there to be targeted. So all-in-all, I'm not playing a huge game, but I do want to toot my own horn and say that I think I'm playing this game much better now. ^~^

so yeah voted in minority and lost duel but today brian tells me that people have been saying my name for this vote so i turned up my social game and have been talking to people all day and then now tommy just confronted me saying that ashley told tommy that i told ashley that tommy was voting for ashley last night... which is complete bullshit because i didnt tell ashley shit and i was the only person to not vote her out so why the fuck would i be throwing shit around and why would she be throwing me under the bus when i was the only person on her side??? but then tommy told me that ashley told him that alex told ashley that i told alex that tommy was voting ashley... which i DID tell alex that tommy was voting ashley so thats possibly true but of course i told tommy i didnt say shit lmao and then tommy was trying to be like "so alex is the one trying to stir shit?" and i know i need to save myself but i cant throw alex under the bus to save myself because hes the only person in this game that i trust even though his stupid ass dumb fucking mouth got me in trouble in the first place but if he leaves then i'm alone and fucked anyway and i just hate everyone.....

i've been on a bit of a campaign trail trying to talk about the fact that its heroes vs villains and the hosts are going to play up the theme and keep the tribes this way for a while without a swap so keep me around because im an asset in challenges i made the flag i particiapted in the scavenger hunt and i stepped up for the duel( even though i floppped) and that im alone in the game so use me as a number im out of the loop strategically so just keep me around.... idk whats going to happen

i hope and feel like im good with brian alex junior and jaiden + myself thats 5 people and majority is 6 so if i can figure out a way to defuse and deescalate the situation and maybe just make people like me enough they dont want to vote me out i'll be able to stick around but i dont have high hopes because this tribe is a fucking mess where one name gets thrown out then everyone jumps on it and waffles back and forth for hours on what to do until its the last second and they just decide to go with the most prominent name so they keep themselves safe this is the most usless group of people ive ever seen but wish me luck!

Okay, so because Queen Jonathan wants to vote out Alex, we're apparently voting Alex out?  I don't really like this.  I really don't.  I don't have a strong relationship with Alex, but I also just don't see the necessity to make this tribe look messier and messier.  It outs a big alliance, shows Kage and Richie they're on the bottom... like... why?  And it also outs Linus as a solo man.  I really just am scared.  This move seems like too much too soon.  I don't like it.

What I told Jaiden: >>Okay my issue with this big move against Alex is not anything to do with like Alex.  I don't have a good relationship with him at all bc we don't really click, so I don't care if we send him out the door, but we're not only putting Richie, Kage, and Linus on the outs if this move works, it's outing a now obvious group.  If we just vote Kage, it's a united front.  Kage isn't going to help us and although Alex and Richie might flip in the future anyway, we're villains for a reason.  And Jonathan pushing his agenda is not making me feel any better.  I don't want to look back and be like, "Why did we let jonathan do whatever the fuck he wanted?"

Trying to figure out the game like

Also god bless Johnny and his Survivor knowledge

havent done of these in a while. so anyways, here's where i'm at. i've got a seven person alliance, i hate kage and alex, linus is suspect af, and i could probably get screwed tonight because i'm being really strategical.

tonight is the night i do NOT want to go home at, so i'm making a master plan to avoid that happening. i cracked a plan to rid this game of alex s forever, but i am almost certain that alex KNOWS about this plan and is coming for me hardcore. i blame crow or junior, maybe sarah. who knows, truly.

anyways... i told brian to vote for kage with me and hopefully richie. i'll talk to richie and be like hi pls make sure you vote for K A G E. this way, if alex has an idol, the votes at best go 3-2-1 (kage/me probs/richie) and at worst tie 3-3 (kage/me probs) and everyone else draws rocks... lmao

idk why i'm making this all about me, but the universe doesn't revolve around jaiden hantz for nothing. if i go home this fucking early after playing this fucking good... yikes.

HOWEVER: here is where the big risk comes in.

brian and i both have voted for kage. this could take the vote to 5-5-1 depending on where kage votes... which means rocks. LOL. i'm a messy bitch, this is why i'm on the villains tribe. i don't really care if we go to rocks tbh as long as its not me, brian, or tommy... because like i dont necessarily like anyone on this tribe all that much. even if it is me, that's a fucking ICONIC way to go and it's all my fault LOOOOOL. premerge king, tru!

IF this somehow happens to be the last confessional i ever write, at least i looked good writing it. i'm in such a cute position -- got people wrapped around my finger to the point where they went against their hatred of kage to do my bidding and get rid of alex. i am extremely close to people i came into this game HATING (junior and sarah for example), people i didn't even know (jonathan and brian), and people I needed to work with again (tommy and crow). not only that, but kage probably likes me. linus complimented me for being in a good position. alex... can choke idc what his opinion of me is, no offense alex!! (ur a nice guy and a good player, but GOD u intimidate the shit out of me and you have every reason to hate me). richie is aight, just quiet idk.

also, if i go home, this season was the ultimate testament to the player that i am. i take risks, big fucking risks. i have balls, and even though it's premerge, i'm not afraid to flex those muscles and pull some shit out of my ass to make things #happen. it's been fun yall! no bitterness from me here. unless i actually get voted out by the majority of the tribe, i'll rly scream then lmfao

15 minutes until tribal and im going to vomit... i feel a lot more safe now than i did earlier today but its been rough im SUCH a control freak like i want to always be in charge and know whats going on and be the one calling the shots and i know im not in that position so ive taken the back seat and turned up my social game and let everyone else do the work to save me so i wasnt putting myself in the front of the plans where it could come back on me and if it doesnt work out then im never going to forgive myself for not doing more to save myself but if i'm still here then im going to make sure that things change i'm ready to slit some metaphorical throats

*chicken voice* DAMN. I played myself! I'm like, not surprised that I went out premerge...for the fourth time... but to go out by rocks? iconic. inspiring.

other than the obvious sadness that comes with going home, i can't say that i'm really all that upset. i clearly came here to win and i was playing the type of game that could easily get me to that point, but i don't take back any of the moves i made this season... not even that one vote flip that happened. i really thought that alex had an idol! he was being really cocky last minute so i KNEW something was up... it's just disappointing to know that i couldn't have gone all the way with this this season.

my tumblr survivor story is such a mixed bag. i've had many, many failures. today is included. i didn't even make it to single digits this game, one of the most simple goals i set out for me to achieve on this attempt. while we can look at my records, my terrible placements, and all of that garbage, there is absolutely nothing that compares to the gameplay that went into this season to make things happen for me.

for once, i can say that i was not voted out early. not one person put my name down on parchment tonight, not yesterday, and not last week. i have nothing bad to say about a single person i competed against on my tribe this season (except kage sometimes), and maybe they have nothing negative to say about me, either.

i played probably the best game i've ever played in tumblr survivor. i took control, but i still listened to everyone's concerns. i calmed my anxiety from causing me to lose control of the situation. not once did i personally attack a person this season (sad to admit that this is a record for me). but most of all... i'm walking out of here, eleven days later, a changed person. now i know that i have the ability to play well, the doors are wide open for me.

i leave japan with a considerable amount of lessons learned in such a short amount of time. i leave with the strongest friendships i've ever had, new and old. but most of all? i leave overwhelming proud of the change i set forth within myself. i came here a villain and i'd like to say i'm leaving a hero. nothing can take away from the experiences i've had in this milestone game... i am so happy i did this.

[fragiilexa]

venting 101.

pls ignore this i just need to ven t  about things bc i m sad and that is always the best way u kno??

ok t o start tho I am hella grateful for everything I have & in the end all of this stuff is minor but I just need to get it off my chest ok ok  leggo

 ok so 1 i am just ??? like I love my sister, I love my family, my love for them is overwhelming & never ending but the urge to discover life without them is so incredibly strong and it just freaks me out & makes me sad because I feel like I have such an obligation to stay. Like, that sounds stupid and makes them sound like a burden which they’re not, but I just??? Like my sister always states repeatedly how she wants us to stay really close and never grow apart & I wish that too I always want to be close to her but.... for her that entails meshing our lives together for... ever and being intricately involved in one another’s lives and it’s good and I would like that but there has to be some room you know? some space. Some breathing room you know? I love her to death and she is jsut ... I don’t know. I love her to death & I would literally do anything for her, we’re best friends but it just... it makes me feel incredibly claustrophobic to think of living my entire life being so close to her all the time.... god that sounds horrible. I just ??? and like she compares us to Sam & Dean (from supernatual if any of u haven’t seen it omg) and like... she jokes that I am sam but... i.... am sam. Like not in all aspects obviously but the urge to leave home & discover other things??? hella there?? dean wanting them to be bffs & never leave each others side? & the ride or die together desire? hella my sister. Not that it’s a bad thing because it’s not but I just wish I didn’t feel this way & I don’t know but I love her but it just gets claustrophobic sometimes

ok 2 because this is how my life is going tonight, I hate being so overwhelmed with all my writing. I LOVE having this account, having my multi, having a rpc & also now starting up in an rpg, it’s exciting & I love love it but I get so overwhelmed and I wish I could feel more at ease when I do write because sometimes, usually when I’m having a harder time finding muse, it all just seems incredibly pointless and like maybe it is? maybe all of this is for not but I just wish I could relax more & not care about what I’m doing when I write & just let it come out but it’s hard to do that sometimes & it bothers me that I can’t seem to calm down.

not to mention that like, idk this whole rp community is just... not really known to people who aren’t in it... in the sense that I can’t really be open about it to my sister or anyone in my family because it��s just so ?? idk what the word is... not that it’s ‘bad’ per-se it’s just hard ‘cause it’s so hard to explain to them how & what I write when they know I want to write a book but I can never produce anything for them to look at that’s worth looking at... and to add onto that even if I did have something for them to read I don’t even think I would want them too & It’s not even because it’s like idk bad, or smut lmao or anything like that but writing to me is just incredibly personal and I just honestly don’t share much of my inner thoughts with my family because I feel like if I was completely honest they’d worry... or think something is wrong with me or be somehow disappointed in me which is ten thousand times worse. Not to mention they don’t get the separation aspect of writing ‘cause once my mom said ‘someone would have to be crazy to have written this’ and it was like... game of thrones I think & she was like ‘who ever the writer is is really gross & must be messed up to think this stuff up ‘ and like... i don’t know I just hate hate the thought of her thinking im messed up or that something is wrong with me... and i just really don’t want to disappoint her and goD I don’t know none of this really scratches the surface but I just needed to get some of it off my chest because I just don’t like keeping my family so separated from this ‘cause it’s something I love but on the other hand like it’s just also my sort of escape from them as well not that I need escaping because they are bad. they aren’t. I just....????? i do n’t know i kodnt know I dunno i m so sad I don’t know why but I just need something to myself. for me. its just??? 

on top of this though I still really want a job but I just need to push myself to get one... it’s after the holiday’s, it’s before spring which means I don’t need to focus on driving yet, or learning how & if I did get a job before spring the Job itself would give me a reason to practice driving in a way that makes me more comfortable because it’s just from point a. to point b. and I’ll already know the route & I can just go slow.... plus money.... plus I would get a phone ( that’s like the only way ‘cause I gotta pay for it ) not to mention I know it will gain me some more standing with my family... not that I don’t have one but I am the person who gets picked on bc im always home & on the computer & I don’t like being that person? when I was at camp I loved being productive & I love the feeling of accomplishing something I am just nerve wracked at the start because I know I’ll ‘forget’ things and mess stuff up before I get hhe hang of it. But with that I know I’ll be fine there’s just a learning curve but like???? idk

but... and this is like the only good thing in my mind rn lmao. I have been keeping track of my eating & im getting better at just taking care of myself in that way & like trying not to touch my face & break out as much so THAT is good & hopefully if I can keep track of my eating & start up on working out again I can get healthier & stuff so that’s good. sobs i just if u got this far idk who u are but bless ur soul. I’m just tired. I’m super tired & there is more stuff but after a half an hour of complaining and worrying I’m just going to write this & let it go. I’ll be okay. I know only I can change this stuff, I know I’ll be fine if I continue to take it one day at a time and BREATHE and just... let it go bc that’s all I really can do. 

But to finish instead of just ending this on a sad note imma just put some things im grateful for because they’re basically the same things but just.. everyhing has it’s pros & cons right? But I am so thankful for my sister she means more to me than the world and I wish that she’d see that... I hope that I can communicate to her that fact & just open myself up to reading more so we can have something in common that she loves sigh 

Also im hella thankful for the things I have, for a family that... besides a few things... are happy & get along. I’m thankful for all of you and for the chance & for the heart that I have that seems to love writing so much ‘cause I don’t know what or who I’d be without writing sobs but um also I am just really glad for all of the not so good things I’ve gone through too because they made me who I am and despite some of my downfalls I am a v nice person... & I’m better off because of most of the things that happened... smarter at least. But yeah, Soli Deo gloria I’m just glad that I’m here, and I’m alive & I have the people I have in my life. The urge I have to run away or start an adventure is still there... like moana u know it calls me but right now my island needs me so I’ll stay. I’ll be okay. Things will be okay. But yeah, idk whatthis is im surprised it’s not deleted lmao but I doubt anyone will read this far down. but honestly if u did at this point im giving u a star on ur forehead bc ur dedicated AF. *lays on floor* that is all, lila wants to make starters now bye

[joshpup]

To Love or Not to Love // Pt. 4

Intro // Pt. 1 // Pt. 2 // Pt. 3 // Pt. 4 // Pt. 5 // Pt. 6 // Pt. 7 // Pt. 8 // Pt. 9 // Pt. 10 // Pt. 11 // Pt. 12 // Pt. 13 // Pt. 14 // Pt. 15 // Pt. 16 // Pt. 17 Word Count: 1,737 Genre: Svt Mafia Au Member: Mingyu TW: Angst, Violence, mention of blood, there will be fluff eventually i promise. idk about tw if there is one i should add pls let me know im bad at them

A shower had never felt so good before. You didn’t care that they had someone standing outside the bathroom door in case you tried to make a run for it. You didn’t care that you had to borrow some of Joshua’s clothes and that it was a bit big on you. And you sure as hell didn’t care that it took you so long to shower. If they were going to post someone outside the door, they were just gonna have to stand there and wait for you to finish up. You weren’t going to rush through the one thing that brought you joy just because someone was waiting on you. 

You washed your hair twice, using some shampoo that was already in there, thankfully there was a shampoo that didn’t smell to terribly masculine. After you had completely washed up, you just stood there letting the warm water run over you. Definitely one of the calmest moments you’d had since you’d arrived at this dumb house. As most long showers lead too deep thoughts, this was no different. You went through all emotions during that shower.  But by the end you had made up your mind. Rather than sulking around and constantly fighting against everyone, you were going to try and make the best of the situation. Who knows, maybe they’ll grow to trust you and eventually let you go. It couldn’t hurt to try, besides worse comes to worse, you just end up getting sucked into this whole mafia thing, and live out the rest of your life like this. But hey, at least you don’t get killed, right? 

You threw on the clothes Joshua had given you and located someone’s brush and quickly brushed your hair. When you pulled open the door, you found someone else standing there. He was very cute looking to say the least, with light brown hair and a round face. He jumped a bit when the bathroom door opened. The two of you stared at each other for a good minute, neither one of you saying anything before the guy finally stepped out of your way so you could get out of the bathroom. 

“I’m Seungkwan, I don’t think we’ve officially met.” the boy said. 

“Officially, no we haven’t met.” you replied, tying up your wet hair as you spoke. “What were you up to during the raid?”

“Oh…” Seungkwan awkwardly laughed, rubbing the back of his neck, “I was one of the guards.” 

“Nice job.” You snorted. Being kidnapped really brought out your sassy side. Watch me get killed because I sass the wrong person. You thought to yourself as you and Seungkwan walked back downstairs. 

“Where’s Josh?” you asked. 

“He’s doing something for Jeonghan, he should be back in a few minutes or so.” Seungkwan answered. 

“So, what’s up with him? How come everyone around he treats him a little differently?” you questioned. 

“I’m sure he’ll tell you the reason eventually. Want some lunch? I’m starving.” Seungkwan asked as he headed towards the kitchen. You followed him in, having nowhere else to go. You soon found yourself leaning in one of the corners of the kitchen, watching and Seungkwan rushed about the kitchen, cooking a monstrous meal. 

“Do you always cook for everyone?” you asked, folding your arms in front of your chest. 

“Not always, everyone here rotates cooking, so some days we get terrible meals and other days we get really good meals.” Seungkwan answered.

“Are your meals the good ones?��� your question made Seungkwan chuckle.

  “I’d say they’re about middle ground. Mingyu makes the best meals around here.” just hearing Mingyu’s name made your mood turn sour. You let out a huff and moved to sit at the table. Seungkwan glanced over at you. 

“Look, I’m not trying to make anything worse by saying this,” he started, walking over to you as he wiped his hand on a dish towel, “but Mingyu’s really not a bad guy. He told me that he purposely waited for one of your days off to do the raid. He about lost it when he saw you there. He tried really hard to keep it hidden but one of members, Wonwoo, saw him and called him out and that’s how i figured it out. You ran into him in the hallway that day, right? Mingyu was supposed to be heading to the most important part of the whole mission, but when he finally showed up his face was so pale. He looked so worried, and then when he heard some shouting from the front of the store he just turned around a bolted. Later I found out it was because of you. I’ve known Mingyu for around six years now and I’ve never seen him more panicked about anything else before. By trying to save you from getting killed, not only did he put himself in a huge amount of danger, but he’s got the whole rest of the group in danger now. If you get out, or get in contact with anyone else we are all dead. Had any other member been in his possession they probably would have just shot you there.” 

What Seungkwan was telling you was putting a whole new spin on things. You felt guilty now. Guilty over a person who had kidnapped you. What was this cruel world. No, it wasn’t a cruel world, it was just proof that you were still a decent human being with emotions and sympathy for others. 

“When the boss gets back, both you and Mingyu are going to be in some serious trouble. Technically you haven’t done anything wrong but that’s just how it works. Although, knowing Mingyu he’s going to somehow find a way to get it all brought out on him so you don’t have to deal with it. I just hope he doesn’t get killed because of that.” Seungkwan said, running his hand threw his hair. The atmosphere was too heavy, and you had too many thoughts and emotions spinning around your head. There was a loud hiss and both of you looked over to see a pot on the stove boiling over. Seungkwan quickly stood up and addressed it, leaving you to sit at the table with your thoughts. 

He didn’t speak the rest of the time, and there was no sound other than the food cooking. Finally, everything was finished and laid out on a long table in the other room. The only time you’d ever seen a table this long was in the famous painting The Last Supper. Not even that. The table was longer and bigger and sat around fourteen people. There were twelve chairs along the long sides of the table, and a chair at both ends of the table. You assumed no one but the boss sat at the head, leaving the other end chair to always be empty. Why bother even having a chair at that end if no one ever sat in it? 

You had just finished setting down the last plate of food when Seungkwan called to the others announcing that lunch was ready. There was a stampede of footsteps, and you realized this would be the first time you’d see everyone together, minus the two that were still out. You moved to a corner of the room and waited for everyone to filter in. Some looked at you, but most ignored you standing there. It was clear that none of them were happy you were there. When Mingyu walked in and saw you, he hesitated for a moment, but soon looked away and sat down at the table. Joshua offered you a small smile, and that was about the only friendly gesture you got. 

From the looks of it everyone sat in a specific order. The head of the table sat empty, where you assumed the boss, Seungcheol, usually sat. Then it was Jeonghan and Joshua across from each other, and next to them sat Junhui and someone you hadn’t seen before. You were honestly surprised by how many people you actually knew, it didn’t feel like you had met many people. You could easily pick out Junhui, who wouldn’t be aware of the guy that tried to kill you. And then there was Jihoon, Minghao and Jeonghan, whom you hadn’t officially met but knew of all the same.  And of course, Joshua, Seungkwan and Mingyu. Boss Seungcheol and Hansol were out at the moment, but you wouldn't be able to connect names to faces. This only left four people you didn’t know. You knew that no one was going to bother to introduce themselves, so you didn’t bother to introduce yourself either. 

There was a scraping of chairs against the wood floor and soon everyone was sitting in their seats. The two chairs on each end of the table were left empty and the spot next to Seungkwan was empty as well. Seungcheol held the head spot for sure, and you assumed Hansol belonged in the spot next to Seungkwan. There wasn’t an ounce in your body that felt comfortable sitting at the other end of the table, so you just stayed standing in the corner of the room as everyone settled down. 

“Why don’t you sit down?” Jeonghan questioned, gesturing towards the chair at the end of the table.” Everyone froze. The tension in the hair was heavy, everyone was thinking the same thing. Of all people to sit at the other end of the table, it shouldn’t be you. 

“Um, I’m good.” you answered, sensing the tension building with each second. Junhui let out a grunt of satisfaction and Joshua a long sigh. You glanced over at Mingyu to see his lips pressed tightly together in a line. You rolled your eyes slightly and left the room, moving back into the kitchen to see what else you could find to eat. You ended up finding a pretty decent amount of food left behind and fixed yourself a small plate and sat down at the table to eat it.

This was probably the most relaxed you’d been since you’d arrived at the svt house. You were able to sit in an open room with sunlight streaming through the large windows, and you could simply sit comfortably. You didn’t feel as on edge as always, and actually felt comfortable enough to lean back in your chair. How long was this mood going to last?

Next...