#Idk i havent seen it since i was 15

[doebt]

nobody should EVER “rewatch” requiem for a dream..everyone should watch it once and then never again. EVER

[guinevereslancelot]

just got kissed for the first time in over a decade 😵‍💫

[ryuseitai]

so nervuos for tmrw bc im seeing my cousin

[itsalwaysdark]

we had fun tho the whole family hung out and we did some sporclee and chronophoto and then globle me n lamp nd father did globle bc mein mamma went to sleep. yay :]

[cheswirls]

that talk tag is never happening btw ghroghwegweg i think abt it all the time but its too much work to remember to tag my rambling. this has always been a blog of w/e tf i feel like posting/rbing abt anyway so. its either skip past ten text posts in a row or unfollow and move on

[autistme]

its nighttime so i get to post my laments abt am! still being on indefinite hiatus. did u know they used to be like A Band. like they performed together. on the same stage. with like. guitars and drums and shit. and backing vocals. like there were 3 mics on stage. bcc there were a multiple members.

[bingo6776]

Heyo, here is a Wednesday x autistic!reader. its more so from wednesday’s POV ig? not strictly but yeah. i used alot of my own experiences/feelings, but from readers POV it was slightly harder to have it flow in a way?? idk

not the best, but i havent written in ages and figured i would put something mid out over nothing :))) 

requests are welcome n shit

1.9k 

Wednesday ground her teeth together as she looked at the watch on her wrist.

 1:15 pm.

 You were only 15 minutes late, but for you, that was as good as being hours late.

 Ever since Wednesday had known you, you were always early. No matter what the event was, you’d be there waiting for everyone else to arrive.

 Once, on you weekly coffee dates at the weathervane, she had attempted to get there first. To be the one waiting for you this time.

But, of course, no matter how early she had gotten there, you’d always be waiting at your usual table, with an amused look on your face as you saw her deflate at being beaten, of course, you’d only be more amused at the fake glare she sent you, paired with her worryingly inventive threats of bodily harm and psychological torture.

 So, yes. 15 minutes may not be monumental to the rest of this incompetent school, but for you, it was.

 Wednesday felt her foot tapping lightly, to others it would have looked comical. An impatient Wednesday Addams tapping her foot as the seconds ticked by as if she was in some kind of cartoon.

 Wednesday’s mind was slowly overcome with a never-ending stream of violent occurrences that could have happened to you preventing you from meeting her at the agreed upon time and place.

 If she were anyone else, she would have let them cloud her mind, dull her sharp senses. Yet, luckily for her, she was not.

 Which is why  when Enid passed by the shrouded area Wednesday darted an arm out, aggressively tugging the blonde werewolf into the shadows with her.

 “You have a class with Y/N,” Wednesday decided to ignore the shocked yelp Enid let out, along with the way Enid was barely able to prevent herself from clawing Wednesday away from her. “She’s late meeting with me.”

 Enid shot Wednesday a sympathetic look, she knew the morbid girl would never say such a thing to anyone but you, but you were a vital part of her schedule, you kept her clam. Levelled. Balanced. She cherished any time you spent together. Even though Enid had been witness to numerous die hard romances amongst outcast and normie alike, she had never seen such a pure and unrelenting love that the two of you shared.

 “Oh, uh, yeah. Yoko said she saw some nurse taking her to her dorm earlier, apparently, she got caught in the middle of the change over rush,” Enid grimaced at the thought of being stuck in the throng of teenagers who hadn’t grasped onto the concept of personal space or volume control yet.

 Wednesday hardly waited a second after the werewolf finished her sentence before she turned away, storming towards your dorm.

 ‘And Yoko says I’m a lovesick puppy,’ Enid thought as she rolled her eyes at the brisk departure and returned to her friends.

 To Wednesday, it wasn’t too hard to string together the rest of the events that had occurred.

 She knew you weren’t embarrassed to have autism, no. But, as she herself was autistic, she could understand the struggles of avoiding overstimulation and the prying stares you’d receive in the aftermath.

 Once she reached the dorm, people in the hallway parting to let her through, not wanting to meet the wrath of an obviously determined Addams, she softly tapped at the door.

 One second

Two

Three

Four

 With no reply, she slowly pushed the door open walking into the small gap she created.

 Your room wasn’t dark, yet it wasn’t light either. There was just a soft silver glow coming from the small lamp on your bedside table.

  It illuminated your figure that was curled in on yourself on top of your bed, hands clamped over your ears, eyes screwed shut in a way that Wednesday knew should have been uncomfortable. You were making a consistent, yet urgent sounding hum, more so for the feeling of it vibrating in your chest over having the actual noise.

 And Wednesday felt her heart break. No, no. it was more as if it crumbled. Slowly, but surely, it withered away. She hated seeing you so distressed, so in pain due to the ignorance and downright bone-headed students at Nevermore. She swore that she would kill each and every person who put you in this position, shed ensure that before she pushed them into the black abyss of death that they would experience every torture method known to man and spirit alike.

 No.

 No, she could focus on that later. Now you were more important, much more important.

 Trying not too make too much noise, she walked over to your bed, noticing how your figure rocked back and forth slowly. Once she had come close enough, she simply sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for you to take notice of the slight dipping of the mattress and how she emerged in your line of sight.

 As your eyes sprang open and focused onto hers, Wednesday truly did try not to flinch at the tears that were held there, the panic that still filled every brim of your body at being pushed and pulled in the crowd, the overlapping conversations feeling as if they had been cutting into your brain, your skin suddenly too hot, too tight.

 Slowly, she raised a hand, moving it at a pace that if at this moment you didn’t want to be touched, you could give her a sign that space was what you needed, but when you didn’t make any such sign she gently laid on top of your arm. The second her cool skin made contact with your own overheating one, you practically launched yourself into her arms.

 Your arms wound your way around her shoulders, burrowing your face into her neck, revelling in the calming scent that filled your space, the darkness that engulfed you as you pushed your face into the crook of her neck.

 “Cara Mia,” Wednesday murmured as her arms tightly wound around your waist, knowing you preferred pressure over light, barely there touches. “What is it you need from me right now, how can I help?”

 You would have given her an in-depth description of the how’s, and the why’s, if it hadn’t felt like your fucking throat had sewn itself shut. The feeling of not being able to talk, not be able to force the words out of your throat without being overcome with discomfort only made more tears spring to your eyes, made you push your face deeper into her neck, trying to get lost in anything over than the fact you felt like your body and mind were becoming so overfilled that you were about to break at the seams.

 Yet, Wednesday was fluent in many languages, luckily she had recently become more than acquainted with your body language.

 She could practically feel the desperation and distress radiating off of your body.

 Not knowing what else she could have done in the moment, she placed a hand o your hair and started slowly running her fingers through it in the way she knows you liked, gently scratching your scalp every now and then.

 “Would you prefer if we were to stay in silence?” she was glad no one was around to hear how sappy and soft she sounded.

 You shook your head, never lifting your head from the safety of Wednesday’s body, enjoying the way her skin was soft, yet had clearly refined muscles lurking beneath the surface. How she smelled of something so indescribable, yet so unbelievably her.

 Laying her head on your own, one hand still working its way through your hair, the other keeping its place at your waist, Wednesday pushed away thoughts about her reputation, or what people may think of the presumed dangerous, murderous Addams being reduced to a pile of mush all for you, and started humming a soft tune instead.

 So what if shed picked up a few of Enid’s softer songs, knowing you and the werewolf had similar tastes. She knew that one day they could come in handy, either from her own mouth or her cello, they’d be useful. Not because she wanted to impress you, no way.

 For an unknown amount of time, Wednesday held you against your body, rocking you both back and forth, never once halting in her movements or her humming.

  To you, it felt like she was a shield against the outside world, protecting you from it. She was your safe space, the one person you knew you could rely on to be there, no matter the circumstance. You hoped you were that for her too.

 Eventually, you felt somewhat better, your body still feeling slightly tense, your muscles aching slightly from not being strained for so long. But still. Better.

 You pulled back from Wednesday slightly, still keeping your arms loosely tied around her shoulders, ignoring the flushed, sticky feeling that coated your cheeks from your tears.

 “I-“ even from the simple letter, your throat closed up, feeling rough from the shallow breathing, not being able to pull much more air into you lungs despite having wanted nothing more than that one big breath that felt like your body was reset. Clearing your throat, you carried on. “I’m sorry. For, you know… this. And being late.”

 Despite your short sentences and the quiet way you uttered the words, Wednesday felt her heart crack again, she was reminded of the way she practically itched to get her hands on the people who mad you feel like this.

 “My love, don’t you dare apologise,” she trailed a finger from your brow, down to your jaw. “You have done nothing wrong. We both know more than most that this is not something you can control. The least those insufferable cretins could have done was be more aware of what they were doing. It’s amusing how they think I’m the intolerant one.”

 You huffed out a soft laughing, your eyes tracing over Wednesday’s face, not settling on one space for too long. You were still astounded to this day that you had been able to win Wednesday’s affections, to have her hold you in such a caring manner without holding a knife against your throat in the next second.

 “Wends, no murder, no maiming. We have a deal, remember? You leave at least half of the school alive, and you get to carry that ancient mace around with you.”

 “It’s not much of a deal, Y/N. You wouldn’t be able to pry the mace from my dead hands, I can do as I please and murder who I please. Regardless of whether you think it’s polite, or not.”

 At that you only quirked a brow at her, all you would have to do was say please and shed give you the world, shed burn it to the ground to watch you smile, or nurture it with a gentleness she had buried long ago. Until you. Still, whichever you pleased. She’d prefer the burning, but that’s irrelevant, watching as she rolled her eyes and grumbled some half-hearted excuse.

 “Irrelevant, my love. We are focusing on you, and what you need. Would you like to watch one of those inane movies you like? The ones that are a disgrace to every cinematic piece ever made?”

 Not having the energy to delve into how ‘Shrek’ was a masterpiece in its own right, you only nod gently.

 Tugging the gothic girl to lay down beside you, with your head resting on her shoulder as she pulled your laptop from your bedside table, already knowing how to load the movie due to the “innumerable amount of times” you had forced Wednesday “to watch such a pathetic excuse for entertainment.”

 You knew she’d say she hated it, but you didn’t miss the way her lips tugged up slightly when Donkey was petrified for whatever reason throughout the movie.

[greater-than-the-sword]

Hey so I'm a 15 year old who hates being skinny and has tried for two years to gain weight without much success. I feel unfeminine and less of a woman because of how skinny I am and I hate it. I eat a lot but I can't seem to gain weight. Do you have any tips for slowing down my metabolism?

Hmm. I'm not a doctor, and I also havent seen your body so idk if your weight is healthy or if you're too dysmorphic to be sure, but....

There's nothing unfeminine or lesser about being lean, having small breasts, and so forth. That is just a body type that some women have. It doesn't mean that you can't be attractive. Many women including runway models also typically have small breasts and thin figure.

But, since you're only 15, I think you should simply wait it out. I doubt there is anything wrong with your metabolism. It's very common for teenagers to experience extreme weight fluctuations. You will continue growing likely until the age of 19 or even later. Don't panic if you later put on weight again. It will probably happen.

[weirdhom0]

Project to read every zero day fanfic on AO3

So yall can read the title, as of like and hour ago ive made a project for myself to read every zd fic on ao3 bc I realized that ive read a concerning amount of caldre fics so I might aswell turn it into something. So far ive read the equivalent of 3 pages on ao3 as of now (60 fics) ive only made this an official thing an hour ago so I havent been smashing out reading every fic on a page back to back to back, ive just been going through pages and reading ones that catch my eye so all the ones ive already read are spread out across 25 pages of all zd fics on ao3, ill try to get through every one but idk bc theres no way im touching 'THE GREAT DILDX IN CALS ASSHXLE!!!' LIKE HELL NAH IM NOT READING THAT SHIIITTTT!!!😭😭😭 Or like 'the great tales of butter on andres belly' IM MOT FUCKING READING THAT you couldnt even play me to skim those fics honestly.

But basically every week or 2 im just gonna be reading a few of them and updating yall on my thoughts and feelings bc oh boy do I have some feelings about these fic, not updates and thoughts on all the individual ones ive read bc hell no im not gonna put that much work into this.

Progress so far + stand outs

like ive said, ive read 60 fics so far and honestly not many stand out to me this far mainly bc their just not very good like their either straight up poorly written smut or regular fics with not alot of flavour to them ofc no hate to the creators all power to them honestly if they have the drive and passion to put their work out there then thats great for them, I just dont have much to say on those types of fics. A MASSIVEEEE thing ive noticed with alot of the fics in the zd fandom are the concerning tags that get put on them like why in the fucking hell are there so many god damn non-con fics??? Its a weird amount that im less then pleased to see and really really dont wanna see more in the future id like to see college au's, coffee shop au's, record store au's (heheheh always gotta throw in a cherry waves reference) or more happy ending fics but idk ig thats just what I want. Kinda random but I just remembered seeing a young royals caldre au fic one time and I havent seen it since im really looking forward to it bc im pretty sure its 15 chapters long I LOOVVVEEE long fics but also I think a young royals caldre fic would be so fire?? Like I see the vision

STAND OUTS!!!!

Not alot of notable fics, just 3, but their 3 damn good fics that are absolute must reads.

(not in specific ranked order)

1. CHERRY WAVES!!!! Brief rundown: its a record store caldre au where cal is an employee and andre is a customer so its a strangers to lovers type thing its also a very music heavy fic (obviously) which I love bc I looovvee music especially the music thats mentioned like deftones, wallows, the smiths ect.

God I love this fic and anyone that's seen my posts will know how much I love it, cherry waves is definitely my favorite out of the 3 so far and I may have just some very low standards for zd fics but this was a genuinely enjoyable read for me. Its long (13 chapters), its a slow burn, its cute, and the best one for me is that its got me hooked into the story without the appeal of ungodly amounts of s3x!! Its good for me bc im literally asexual (the s3x repulsed kind) and borderline aromantic so yeah horray!! There is a chapter where cal and andre get freaky but its not even relevant to the story and the author wrote it to be skippable which bless his heart he is a saint for that, a true sweetheart ty miles💜 not much else to say without spoilers so go read it for yourself, I cant link nor can I tell yall the ao3 acc bc its an orphan acc now so just search up 'cherry waves' on ao3 and try to find it, theres only 8 pages so its not too hard to miss bc its written like 'Cherry waves [COMPLETED!!!]'

2. Televangelism by anonymous Brief rundown: religious cal, non believer andre. Cal is like super super super religious and is constantly talking about god and shit like that and andre is like 'yeah whatever'. Some build up later and boom caldre🎉🎉 its not alot of plot to explain without spoiling it so please go read it, its only one chapter so its not gonna take up that much time

THE WRITING IS PHENOMENAL. BEYOND AMAZING. IT GENUINELY HAD ME CLUTCHING MY PEARLS BC OF HOW GOOD THIS WAS OMGGGGGGGG!!!! initially I was interested in reading it bc I saw the name and it made me think of the song by ethel cain and I thought the fic might have something to do with her song since ik theres some zd ethel cain enjoyers out there. I was shocked by the beautiful wording in this fic, the way the author describes the way cal thinks is just MUAH CHEFS KISS and okay SPOILER PLEASE DONT READ THIS NEXT PART IF YOUR GONNA GO READ THIS FIC CAUSE IT RUINS THE WHOLE ENDING or maybe there were hints in the fic all along and my dumbass wasnt able to pick up on them🤦 the way the author writes the caldre freaky time at the end made it sound like heaven (no pun intended) like it really made me think 'damn I need to get freaky with my homies cause holy shit this is making say gex sound so good rn'. At first when I was reading the end i didnt realize freaky time was happening until a little later then I should have realized um mb gays im too asexual for this shit!!😅😅 But also the way the author writes cals thoughts about the gay freaky time is gorgeous??!! Ugh I love when people write freaky time in a poetic manner that makes it sound like your being banged by an angel and its blasing you with radiant godly energy rather then me reading the words 'yeah baby you like that?' and skimming over the paragraph until I see the word 'came' so ik its over. Other then the freaktastic freaky time, the whole fic is written magnificently and I really love how they write religious characters it was truly enthralling 10000000000/10 would recommend its been a bit since I read it so I might be meatriding off my memory but idk im writing this at 1 im too tired to read it again.

The lucky last, 3. FBI's most wanted by gaygurobian Brief rundown: cal and andre go through with the shxxting (god fucking damnit💀) and cals about to khs when andre is like 'lets escape I have a plan' so they escape from the police and are now on the run from the cops. Caldre caldre caldre🎉🎉 its barely toxic well i mean a little but I dont think having a argument with your bf is toxic. Cal is also transmasc if that adds anything but not really.

THIS FIIICCCCC GOD ITS SOO GOOOOOOOOODDD idk if this was the first zd fic ive ever read or if it was the first GOOD zd fic ive ever read either way it was an og fic for me and the most memorable aswell. I remember so clearly the day I read it and how invested i was in this shit it was crazyyyyy, the writing is amazing and the author could really go places with how talented they are at story telling it was just wow wow wow im speechless. Im being so real when I say I like this cal and andre more then cal and andre in the movie bc ik they both did the same insane act of shxxting up their school but the fic really makes cal and andre more likable and makes them feel like people in a way that I didnt see them in the movie. I dont really sympathize with the cal and andre from the movie and I lowkey dislike them bc ik they probably stunk and were completely dicks, but cal and andre from this fic?? Bro those are my homies they are gannnggggg their genuinely so much more likable in the fic which I mean its a fic yeah ofc their gonna seem more likable especially when they are in the hands of a talented author that knows how to expand on a character even if that character has little to none backstory or atleast not much to work off of to make them likeable as people😮‍💨 thsi fic is written so well that my ass stayed for the freaky time like that shit wasnt even that bad and was actually written well enough to where my brain wont vomit from cringe it really opened my eyes up to well written freaky time AND its perfectly intergraded into the story like its eased into it and it doesnt just come out of nowhere which im happy about. THE END OF THE FIC IS CRAZY THO I WAS SAT IN MY ROOM FOR 10 MINUTES IN SILENCE AFTER FINISHING IT MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOOR AND I HAD TEARS IN MY EYES!!! But yeah this fic is a classic in my eyes the whole fic is truly magnificent its 3 chapters of bliss bro its so so so good, the author is talented as FUCK and has a few other zd fics that ive read but just cant remember but ik they were amazing I just know it.

Thats it hopefully I can get out an update tomorrow this is gonna be one hell of a project thats gonna really hurt my eyes and my soul

[eldritchmochi]

hey, what symptoms is masculinizing hrt supposed to treat for eds exactly if you don't mind? saw your ask about dwarfism that mentioned it. ive got heds and im kinda desperate for potential treatment options, wondering if this is smth i should look into?

SO: this is all anecdotal, it is not necessarily a great global treatment for many many reasons but if youre an afab edser and already considering hrt, things i and others have noticed T helping with are:

joint pain/subluxations: higher levels of t seem to help because thats the hormone that helps you build and maintain muscle, and muscle when u have shitty connective tissue helps protect and stabilize your joints, so they hurt less because they flop around less (this may also be why eds is more commonly seen in afab folks, as amab folks especially cis men have more muscle from the get go, so they often have less issues)

chronic pain in general: my theory is that, since i have fewer subluxations, im generally a smidge less globally inflamed, so generally a smidge less pain (very subjective tho, and also i started taking regular nsaids a few months into t, so ymmv)

less fatigue, particularly after physical activity: i have no theories on why for this one (and its also pretty subjective, especially cos fatigue can be related to so many things when youre multiply disabled, like many edsers are)

less cold/dizzy, presumably from better circulation: t can increase your blood volume iirc, as well as give you bigger veins and whathaveyou

easier blood draws: again, bigger veins, easier to hit with a needle. ymmv still based on hydration etc, and mine are still bouncy and tend to roll, but more often than not if i am well hydrated most phlebotomists can get me in one stick, compared to even experienced phlebotomists needing to dig around at best

and then a small handful of other benefits ive noticed relating to collagen, like i have fewer random scrapes and bruises, presumably because my skin is a little thicker now and thus a little more resistant to damage, plus my nails and hair are less likely to break (tho idk how much of that is related to eds as a whole and how much is just my family)

i am currently doing .2ml subq injections every 7-10 days and noticed substantially more positive effect when i was at a weekly .3ml subq dose, however i ran so hot that i turned into Shorts In Winter Guy, and i hated it especially since i circled around to being so sweaty i was sick from it, so i backed off a lot. during the 18ish months i was on a .3ml dose tho, i think i had <10 subluxations the entire span, compared to >10 on average in any given week for years prior. on .2ml im experiencing significantly more subluxations, but still <10 a month, and theyre less impactful (often its waking up with one ankle not quite in place, which settles after a few minutes of movement)

of note though, my experiences are as someone who was significantly impacted by heds starting at age 14-15, and im 33 now, whereas i have a friend on a much lower dose of t (not sure the amount, but theyre doing gel) with great effect still, as someone of comparable age but who was less impacted until relatively recently due to spending their youth and early 20s physically active in a variety of ways i did Not lmao

ive seen several other transmasc edsers discuss anecdotally the benefits theyve seen from being on T, and the geneticist i saw when i was finally dx'd earlier this year mentioned her familiarity with the same benefits learned thru patients, so its a thing some doctors ARE aware of, there just havent been many, if any, formal studies (because of course not (: ). if you were already kicking around hrt for The Genders, absolutely recommend going for it. if you have The Genders and maybe havent considered T before, i think its definitely worth researching and pondering. not sure i would really recommend it to someone who was cis, but there are ways to mitigate a number of masculine secondary sex characteristics spawned from T so i dont think its off the table for everyone, you would just need to find a very clever experienced doctor for it

also of note is i experienced benefits VERY quickly, within 6-8 weeks of a .25ml/week dose, and in that span most of the effects of t are not permanent or otherwise fairly negligible, so there isnt a ton of risk imo to test it to see if its worth it for you. just be aware that, because of the collagen thing and the way vocal cords work, your voice WILL drop and it will drop IMMEDIATELY (however, even if your voice drops a ton, you can still sound fully passibly feminine with a little practice and knowledge)

[jadebread64]

time for me to post my bullshit ramblings on the new doctor who episode in no particular order like a maniac lol

(SPOILERS AHOY, DONT CLICK ON THE READMORE IF YOU HAVENT SEEN THE EPISODE)

obviously seeing tennant and tate back in their roles is so cool, they feel exactly as they should, it doesnt even feel like 15 years have passed when you watch them its great

DONNA CANONICALLY HAS A NONBINARY DAUGHTER AND IM SO FUCKING HAPPY ABOUT THAT

NOT ONLY THAT BUT HER ALSO BEING PART OF THE METACRISIS TIME LORD SHIT IS SUPER COOL

lmao im not even joking when i first saw the meep™ i literally thought "aww it's so cute i hope it doesnt end up being evil" and LO AND BEHOLD

OH MY GOD DAVID TENNANT JUST SUDDENLY PUTTING ON A FUCKING JUDGE WIG AND DOING A COURTROOM SCENE WITH THE MEEP AND THE WRARTH WHILE DONNA AND HER CONCERNED FAMILY JUST OBSERVE

also i think the wrarth voices are so funny cause in the trailers they're like *auurhghghg scary monster sounds!!1!* but in the episode they just sound british like every doctor who space alien should

i think the new TARDIS looks really cartoony and i think it's kinda fun, idk if ncuti is gonna end up with this TARDIS set (i'd imagine the bbc doesnt have the budget to make a whole TARDIS set for 4 episodes then just make a new one lol) but i think it looks kinda plain at the moment? idk if they added some chairs and bookshelves n shit like the capaldi one and make it look more lived in overtime it might be one of my favourites just for the whole classic who vibe it has. either way it's perfect for david he gets to run around like a little kid in there and thats all that matters lol

also tennants new suit looks so fucking good and honestly wish he just had that in series 2-4 instead of the brown suit

i think it's so funny how literally not even 5 minutes after entering the TARDIS donna just fucking spills her coffee on the console and the whole thing just explodes and goes to shit immediately lmao

ALSO WE'RE GETTING A FULL ON TENNANT/TATE ADVENTURE NEXT WEEK???? AM I IN 2008 OR 2023 I CANNOT TELL ANYMORE TIME HAS NO MEANING

im really hoping we get to see whoever the fuck neil patrick harris' character is in the next episode, im 99% sure it's gonna be the celestial toymaker but only because the doctor who youtube account kept posting celestial toymaker clips and i think they're being cheeky bastards lol (/positive)

(/sarcasm) i cant wait to see all the queerphobic assholes shitting on this episode for having the few pronouns/binary lines in it and going "dOcTor wHo iS wOkE nOw yUcK" even though doctor who has been progressive since literally 1963 with the daleks (which got a fancy new colourization that i need to check out still but thats a whole OTHER THING LOL)

oh yeah and david's acting is really fucking good in this, like when he thinks wilf has died and he just sorrowfully says "i loved that man." like MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS

plus when he thinks he has to sacrifice donna to save everybody, holy shit his perfomance is incredible

this is just a me thing but seeing a doctor who episode live as its broadcasting is so cool, i've been watching this show for like 8 years (i think??) and i usually just ended up finding it on dailymotion or some shit like a day or two after the episode aired so i'd always be late for it lol (btw for the people coming after me i dont pay for disney+ at all lol) so watching it the at the same time as everyone else was very cool especially since i nearly slept in through it lmao

anyways i think thats all if i remember any more things i'll add em in lol

plus some bonus ramblings before the episode aired

[vingangelstar]

i thought it might be fun to do this, so im going to :3 since we're halfway through november, ill do 1-16 today, and then answer 1/day for the remainder of the month.

day 1: i keep my stats in my pinned (and i haven't w31ghed myself in 13 days so i can't exactly say what my w31ght is rn! but i last was 173ish, give or take some decimals. my height is 5'6", and my bmi is 27.9

day 2: im 5'6, but i wish i was taller! id love to be around 5'10, i feel like sk1nny tall ppl are just so much prettier than being short and sk1nny. idk why lol.

day 3: ummm tbh i don't really have a specific th1nspø mainly because i dont find spø to be triggering unless it's very specific. though im usually tr1gg3r3d by sk1nny andro people, just because they could be either and still be like, perfect.

day 4: becoming so th1n it requires hospitalization. the goal is to be unrecognizable after my wl, yes, but not to risk getting caught in what im doing.

day 5: yes, it really is for myself. it helps me feel accomplished when i see my c4l count for the day, or the loss on the sc4l3. i used to be disordered more in middle school, but it was for a brief period of time before my parents kind of corrected it. now that i dont live w them, i can actually lose and not worry about what theyll say.

day 6: so far, i haven't! but ive had a lot of like, guilty days where i 34t over 800 and feel disgusting. but i do not b/p, and i won't ever really claim to.

day 7: i havent seen them in a few months, and even then, we're not that close. they don't know, but if they did, they'd be supportive of my wl. that being said, they'd probably be concerned too.

day 8: i work a full time retail job as a department head. i am legit always walking, so that's my work out for 5/7 days of the week.

day 9: my dad has called me f@, my ex would comment on it sometimes, and my mother growing up would put herself down for gaining. my brother also is heavily picky with eating and would call me f@ as well.

day 10: eating whatever and whenever. i used to not care, but now that im forced to, it's a little stressful.

day 11: any post by @/wlfawnbby or pretty much any angel/blue or emo masc spø.

day 12: depends. i always have a mamma chia squeeze, sometimes a protein bar, and a frozen lean cuisine dinner that's less than 400 c4ls. i save any higher c4l frozen stuff for big work days or meta days. im trying to have 1 cup of tea a day, if not 2, and drink my wl tea.

day 13: ooh... take a guess...

day 14: 114, but i might aim for 110. i want my bmi to be like, 16. im projected to reach my wl goal in march of 2025, so 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

day 15: i am not vegan or vegetarian, but i do avoid red meat unless im really craving it. i only really 34t chicken as a source of protein because it's my favorite. i wouldnt want to go vegan simply because i dont have money for that and legit no time for meal prep ever lol.

day 16: a few weeks ago. id been spiraling anyway, might as well make the most of it. i think i started a few days before halloween, if i remember right.

[raidenloml]

question 15 for your ocs? 👀

15. who is your OC’s best friend?

grinning from ear to ear (see image below) ready to answer this one with yap of the century....

Arsenic:

Link…. they havent seen each other for a while since arsenic joined his now ex-team but they were glued to each other in school but kinda just drifted apart…. he hasn’t really felt the same connection with anyone else he met (HES GAY!!! ahem anyway) but he probably does have some people from the competitive circles to hang out with (up until the Incident (trademark copyright etc etc raidenloml) after which he felt that he couldnt hang out with those circles out of shame…) he gets better after reconnecting with Link because they did talk from time to time but suddenly Arsenic was unemployed with all of the time in the world yk

Link:

(evil grin) the bestfriendship with Arsenic is in fact mutual… he really admires him but other than Arsenic he doesn’t have very close friends (yet), like he would probably be friendly with customers who are passionate about the repairs he does for them but hes a really private person in general. He does end up becoming friends with a rival team on accident when the second in command becomes his apprentice.. Link plays anonymously so everyone is very much clueless abt his true identity

Zel:

She’s not best friends with anyone in the team but i’d imagine like a cousin/childhood friend from the town she was from, she got picked on for being so different as a child and would probably form a very strong bond with the people who stood up for her. In terms on in-team relationships i think that Zel would have a ton of fun with A4, especially as they end up doing lots of grizzco shifts together but because of A4’s like inability to communicate with others well Zel would worry a lot about if she actually liked her and didnt see her as an annoyance 😭

A4:

A4 has an octarian friendgroup outside of the team, shes especially close with Fern and Violet as she (insert lore im not sure about cuz idk Fern and Violet lore uhhhh Fern was also in military with her maybe???) but yeah she’s also pretty fond of Zel because she views her as VERY hardworking and respects her a lot for that even though she might not show it well. Zel was also the one to introduce her to inkling/splatlands culture and the splatsville community where A4 ends up reconnecting with Fern

[thetidemice]

PLEASE watch summercamp island its so good its so silly its got that thang where random stuff in the first season is built upon and makes a complex lore, theres a he/him lesbian, mini stories, all sorts of stuff. i still have to find where to watch the last season because hbo max nixed it before it released, but its so good

!!! it sounds so lovely!!! i cant believe i put off watching it a few years ago (some guy called it ugly.. not even true. i love looking at it i think the way they developed julia pott's style for animation is really cute and charming. same thing happened for clarence but now sometimes i see clips of it and its genuinely funny idk what the hate was for). i watched some episodes last night and the pacing is so light and refreshing and nonserious and sincere all at once.. it's a nice breath of fresh air since i havent watched cartoons in a while. it reminds me so much of adventure time and over the garden wall (particularly the animal school and greg's dreams! super whimsical and offbeat and straightforward. how we see the world when we're children)

and thank god:

i felt a hyperfixation forming for this show before i even watched it but i've seen how many people love susie and she does deserve it. my first impression was that she was a kind of over-it 20-something who just wants the kids at her camp to not die but she is perpetually 15 and an utter bitch (who genuinely thinks her meanness is charming) god bless. i believe it's also julia pott who voices her and she does a brilliant job. her voice stands out where most of the main cast are american (and because i'm an accent freak i find hers interesting it's sort of a mix of a standard london accent but instead of pronouncing the t in a word like "better" or dropping it for "be' er" she uses a slightly more american "bedder" while still not swapping the -uh sound on the end for a more rhotic -err). anyway she's the high-maintenance butch representation we need in media, i LOVE her eyebrows, & i cant wait to see her get more complex and sympathetic as time goes on.

going back to the main characters, oscar and hedgehog are the best protagonists!! he's incredibly nervous! she's an academic weapon! they grew up together and are the perfect vessel for these silly stories to be told. i appreciate your wisdom and i will definitely be watching more of it!! i will have more to say about it and might end up doing some art for it because the charm of this show is irresistible.

as for places to watch... i heard they got major fucked over by HBO max.. even if it was all on there i wouldnt be able to watch since i'm in the uk. i wish i could stream it somewhere where i could fully support it, but for situations like this, these two are my secret weapons - there are little to no adverts and none of them are gross or for nsfw sites. they're both clean and they WORK:

[myfaveisfuckable]

Dazai:

dude LOOK AT HIM!! that man is such a fucking slut if u go into that show and come out NOT shipping him with at the very least like 2 ppl u watched the show wrong. also as a certified member of the community that man has such pure insane bisexual trans man vibes its a wonder we havent all seen it yet (the insane being part of the vibes not a descriptor of them). anyways bro gets his pussy destroyed by one of his 7 boyfriends (or ig 6 since one of them’s dead. or idk maybe 5 since another is like the only man more bottom-y than dazai (rest in piece sigma i know u dream of being a top but it isnt meant to be)) every night and i am sitting there taking notes someone please get the both of us therapy (is this good?)

*I know bc I ate him behind a defunct Denny's

Terry:

his species canonically doesn't have genitals but he still fucks sometimes so i'm saying he has one

* no pussy but he be serving cunt ngl* I know bc I ate him behind a defunct dennys* he has a pussy but he's too cringefail to serve any cunt

[slightecho]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

I got tagged by @daydreams-and-honeybees and @halcyonhue (it won’t let me tag you and idk why! 😭)

This is gonna be very interesting and silly bc I have written much and posted little!! 🤣

TAGGING: @silvvergears if you havent done this before and…… actually idk who among my fic writing friends has or hasn’t done this one bc I’ve seen it going around a few times, so if you are a fic writer and want to do it, i’m tagging you!! 😆

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

LMFAO only 4

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

481,043 words jfc 😨

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I used to dabble in writing voltron fic years ago, and that makes up the majority of works on my ao3 but currently writing for The Owl House and I’m hoping to outnumber the Voltron fics on my account with other fandoms 😎

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Lmao uhhhh since I only have 4 published, I’m just gonna say the top two tbh 😅😅😅

Ashes takes the number one, with Crowd of Thousands as my second most kudos on a fic

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes!! I love responding to comments! I want to discuss things with people reading my fics and (especially in the case of Ashes), I wanna see what my readers theories are on what’s going to happen. It’s one of my favorite parts of having people who read what I write!!

If you’ve ever left me a comment and I haven’t responded, don’t be discouraged. Sometimes I just don’t know what to say beyond a giant thanks for reading. 😅 And sometimes I won’t reply if my last reply was a teaser

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhhhh so if I had finished it, it WOULD have been the untitled Bungo Stray Dogs Heathers AU fic I got like 75% of the way done writing and then abandoned.

But other than that I don’t have any with an angsty ending—oh wait no ¡Viva La Gloria! is technically a published fic in my ao3 isn’t it?

Yeah it’s ¡Viva La Gloria! then lmao

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Crowd of Thousands currently.

Ashes by the time it’s done.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Haven’t yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Pls don’t send me hate I’ll cry

Criticism and critique are fine. Just don’t be mean to meeeee pls 😊

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have.

Nothing published anywhere.

I’m not very good at it

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not really. I don’t really read them either tbh

I’m kind of the kid who doesn’t want their foods to touch on their plate when it comes to entire fandoms in fics it’s just not my thing

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not yet, or at least not to my knowledge.

Knocking on wood now

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Somewhat?

The planned Elowyn piece I have is something my girlfriend and I came up with together. So I have co-authored concepts

The first two or three chapter of Ashes, besides the prologue, there was a LOT taken from the discord RP that I’d originally come up with the plot of Ashes for. I had permission from that friend to use them. And I heavily, HEAVILY took out and then rewrote their portions (namely the Raine parts of the chapters “Moving Day” and “Hexside” bc the rest at the time were my characters). Their original writing has been scrubbed and a lot of Raine’s character and story arc has transformed into something else entirely. Pretty much all that remains is that they were the one who came up with the idea that Raine was Manny’s sibling. If they read it, they could probably still see the bones of what they wrote if they squint. But by the time Luz hits Eda with the door in “Hexside,” they’d already moved on from the rp. So it was very easy to rewrite around their parts and just reuse the posts I that I had written for those chapters.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

That’s too hard a question how dare you

I like too many ships

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Oh jeez.

Either the untitled Bungo Stray Dogs Heathers AU that was never posted anywhere, or The First Golden Guard.

Pretty much The First Golden Guard i have just notes scribbled out of the plot, what I think the first chapter is, and some various bits of dialogue from different moments in the fic. But then I started writing Ashes and that took over my life, and now I really want to write The Caleb Files, and the bonus stuff that got cut from Ashes. Plus the Elowyn fic. so I just don’t know if it will ever get written now

16. What are your writing strengths?

Description and voice.

I really love getting a little flowery when describing action or setting while writing. And in the case of setting in particular, I think I have a more natural ability.

I also really strive to make sure each character’s own unique way of talking comes through in their dialogue. Maybe not always when the narration makes the reader privy to their thoughts and emotions, but at the very least, their dialogue does.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Bro just cannot stop yapping!!

I actually genuinely do believe my greatest weakness is my inability to shut up sometimes. I’m sure if I go back and reread Ashes from the beginning, I’ve said the same shit multiple times.

Also sometimes I just get repetitive!! And I use certain colloquialisms like “just,” “after all,” and “as if” FAR too often.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

sigh.

I am a latinx person who lived through the VLD fandom… I have a LOT of opinions… and I have seen some bad Spanish dialogue written by non-Spanish speakers… the kind of shit that stands out to even me, when I have little verbal fluency.

Here’s the thing: I am not AGAINST anyone writing another language of dialogue into their fics. I actually do think it’s a good thing.

HOWEVER!!!

If you are a person who only speaks one language—if you’re a person who kind of doesn’t know what I’m talking about when I say ‘code switching’ or only understands the basic definition of code switching—I am BEGGING you to try and have someone with more experience in that language than you to proofread those dialogue sections.

The amount of times I’ve seen weird moments where the code switching didn’t make logical or emotional sense for the character beyond the author’s “I want to include Spanish here” is innumerable. And that’s not to say code switching needs to have a deep, profound reason all the time—sometimes code switching happens bc there’s no word or phrase in one language that directly translates from the concept or emotion you know how to describe in another! But from what I’ve found, there are a lot of people who understand code switching in concept (and that it’s important for representation) but not in practice bc they simply have no firsthand experience with it. I don’t blame them, though! It’s a hard thing to understand on description alone! Unless you’ve experienced it before, I don’t think it’s something you can fully comprehend. And it can stand out. You can even think you’ve done it right on technicality, but it falls flat.

A tiktok in how to spot AI images I once saw said “AI understands that a mirror, or stairs, or chair legs have to be there there, but it doesn’t understand why it functionally exists or what purpose it serves” and therefore it makes mistakes by adding twelve stairs on the right and fourteen on the left, or five legs on two chairs that are somehow sharing them, or mirrors won’t show the correct items reflected back. I’ve seen many well-meaning fic writers (and published authors!!!) do the exact same thing with language switching. They understand that it should be there, but not functionally why.

Also a basic “don’t rely on google translate” here….. but also a less basic one: different cultures of a shared language are gonna have different turns of phrase and different slang. I’ve also seen a lot of fics that have Lance (a Cuban character) using Mexican slang or words. That’s always awkward.

There’s just a lot. I could go on about this forever but I think I pretty much covered it all.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Ever?! Lmfao Harry Potter when I was a young teen. I didn’t understand what I was doing at all and only did it because my older friend who knew I liked writing my original stories at the time said that I should try writing fic.

I didn’t even have a plot or anything. I just genuinely thiugh fanfic was writing your little self insert OCs and perpetually playing with them in a dollhouse made of your favorite thing 🤡🤡🤡

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Wholly and completely, without a shadow of a doubt

Ashes

It’s genuinely the first fic I’ve ever written where I have actually wondered if I was better off writing it as an original story and going the publishing route. Unfortunately for future me and fortunately for you all, I’m way too attached to the characters as their original names and incarnations to do that 🤣

It’s also the first fic I’ve ever written where I went into it already knowing every piece of the puzzle and having all the clues laid out to perfectly set them up ahead of time. I’m very proud of that and I long for the day where someone rereads Ashes after it’s over and discovers the tiny things in the extremely early chapters that were hints towards the end.