#Idk how to talk about it without making my dad and brother especially sound like bad horrible people when they aren't

[merkerlerspeaks]

Thinking about just in general gentle men again. I had a whole essay on like....why this is and my history with men being either harsh with me in the past or otherwise somehow distant but I decided I didn't wanna get into that on here right now.

I just appriciate gentle men. Gentle, kind, patient, non-judgemental, meek men. Or at least men who make efforts to be that way. It warms my heart any time I see a man act that way and straight up baffles me sometimes when they actually treat ME that way.

[coff33notforme]

Can I request a wally with a child reader? I wonder how wally would take care of a child reader? Maybe he’s like a older brother or dad idk

A/n: Omfg I loved this prompt so much I wrote three whole pages in one sitting, I kinda want to make this into a series more in depth, I have so many more ideas for this concept so let me know what you guys think!

Pairing: Wally Darling and Gn Child Reader ( Platonic, Fluff, slight mentions of Possessiveness)

Oneshot, and Headcannons

Wally was awoken one night by the repeated slamming of Home closing and opening the door to his room, groggily Wally got out of bed, at first to inquire why Home had been so insistent on awaking him.

But he was stopped when he was alerted to the sound of crying drifting in through the now opened window near the back of home.

Wally hesitated, that side of the house was the side facing the woods, the restricted area, he paused unsure of what to do.

But what if someone needed his help? Maybe the risk outweighed his curiosity, but the more he thought about it the more anxiety bubbled up inside his chest, that was rare, this couldn’t be good.

Without anymore time to think Wally opened Homes front door, the warm night air caressed his face gently, the smell of wet grass filled his senses as he paused drinking in his senses as the wind blew past him without thought, that was until the muffled sobs began again quieter, faint even, but still evident.

Wally turned the corner walking along the side of home as he drew nearer and nearer the cries becoming more clear before they ceased.

Wally paused his body growing stiff, taking in a breath he moved the brush aside revealing a small child, cowering in the middle of the bushes, their head tucked beneath their arms, before they lifted their head, their fearful eyes met his, their face stained with tears and their eyes puffy from crying, they flinched scooting back in fear.

Wally raised his hands in defense as the child began to cry again, Wally was clueless to an extent, sure he was made to teach kids lessons and guide them in some sort of way but he himself hadn’t actually ever interacted with a real child before, especially not one who seemed to be so full of fear.

Wally frantically stepped closer in an attempt to soothe the crying child, but this only seemed to make things worse as their cries became screams of protest, with no sign of getting closer to the child Wally tried a different approach.

“I’m not going to hurt you, I’m a friend, I only want to help. Is that okay with you?” for a moment the child paused, their brows becoming furrowed, as they glared with red eyes, clearly skeptical of the offer 

“I-I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.” the child stammered, crossing their arms defensively

Wally smiled gently

“Well, I’m Wally, and your name is…?” he gestured, hoping they would catch on

They sniffled, before stuttering out their reply

“I’m Y/n.” it was short and simple but it was enough to make they give a shy smile to the puppet

Wally gave a grin in return scooting beside you as you leaned into Wally, Wally tensed for a moment before settling into the sudden contact

“What are you doing here all by yourself, Y/n?” Wally asked gently, earning a small frown from you

“I don’t know, I don’t remember how I got here, I just woke up without my parents…” you trailed off again your eyes welling with tears alarmed Wally dropped the subject, wrapping his arms around you instead.

“Hey, I’m sorry I won’t bring it up again. But don’t you worry friend, we'll get you back to your parents, for now I’ll look after you.”

you nodded into Wally as he scooped you up carrying you into the house before setting you down on the floor of the guest room

“You can sleep here tonight.” he offered, but he felt your hand becoming tighter around his, he looked down to see you anxiously peering into the dark room before looking back up at him with wide eyes

“Can I just sleep with you tonight?” you whispered, Wally smiled gently as he picked you up again before giving you a soft bop on the nose

“Of course you can, don’t you worry bud, I won’t let anything get you.” you giggled playfully, as Wally began to walk to his room setting you down on the bed before he tucked you in, he was about to walk to his side before he stopped upon feeling you tug on his sleeve

“Could you give me a kiss goodnight? I usually get one from my parents, but their not here.” he nodded before laying a soft kiss on your forehead whispering goodnight before making himself comfortable under the covers as he felt sleep fall upon him 

The next morning Wally awoke to you shaking him with a whine, groggily he rubbed his eyes, suddenly remembering what had happened last night 

“What's going on kiddo?” he asked with a yawn to which you groaned 

“I’m hungry, and you’ve been sleeping forever.” you cried, Wally hummed slowly rising from the bed as you dragged him from the room, waiting as he took you into the kitchen.

Rifling through the cabinets before he found an unopened box of cereal, opening the fridge and pouring you some milk he set the bowl down on the table, which apparently, was too tall for you to reach.

Wally lifted you onto the seat before he pulled a chair out from across from you sitting down as you scarfed down your breakfast

“Do you remember anything before you got here?” Wally asked curiously, you looked up to the ceiling in thought as milk dripped down your face, you shook your head, Wally sighed trying to think of what to do next

While living with Wally you would take frequent trips to Frank's house, though you, yourself wouldn’t actually talk to Frank on most days Julie would be around so she would keep you preoccupied while Wally spoke to Frank, you weren’t really sure what it was they were talking about but it seemed important

Wally had promised you that you would see your parents again after all

When living in the neighborhood if you went anywhere you were always with Wally, he simply couldn’t let you out of his sight for one moment, whenever you weren’t where he could see you he would go into a frenzy until you were back in his line of sight

Overtime you grew used to the neighborhood, all of Wally's friends were extremely nice and you saw them often enough to begin to trust them as much as you trusted Wally

You and Wally begin to grow into the Father figure role that had blossomed over your shared time together, and Wally felt that overtime you two had grown to completely trust each other, you were inseparable! 

Wally was extremely loving and patient with you even when you were upset, a very stark contrast to when he first met you, your presence in his Home began to become increasingly evident, your drawing were strung on the fridge for all to see, your toys and clothes set up around your room like you had always been there, it felt like there was a new warmth added to the house, a refreshing touch of youthful joy made Wally feel alive again

But who new how long this would last, what if one day as mysteriously as you had come you vanished, as though you had never even existed, Wally had promised to take you back to your ‘real’ home, but what if that was something he couldn’t do? What if even if he could, he didn’t want to?

The idea of letting you go was something Wally couldn’t bear, but was it really his decision?

AAAAAA I loved this so much! <3333

[sokkastyles]

I was reading your Azula metas. I kinda had in my mind that a redemption for her would come from her resolving her issues with her mother. I think because Zuko is similar to his mom (or at least more similar to her than to his dad) it's possible that she could understand her mother better by getting to know him more. I remember some bits on the show like when Azula warned Zuko about him visiting Iroh in prison, because of her tone I sort read that as she really trying to protect him and not just a threat or something. I think there's something there with him being the last connection to her mother. I wonder if she felt betrayed by him once he left the family and joined the gaang, not just because it ruined the plans or anything but because her mother also "left" her. Idk if this makes any sense lol I'm just rambling now. But what do you think?

I love the idea of Azula learning to understand her mother by getting to know her brother more!

I think that most discussions about Azula's relationship with her mom fall flat in two ways. One, people forget that Azula is an unreliable narrator, especially when it comes to her family. It is strange that when we hear Zuko talk about how Ozai will restore his honor, we know that he is unreliable, but people don't question it with Azula, who absolutely worships her father and blames her mother for her father's abuse because of course she can't blame Ozai. It's actually a pretty typical dynamic in homes with a parent like Ozai, for that parent to try to turn the children against the other parent, and since Ozai resents Ursa and treats Azula like his golden child, is it hardly a surprise that Azula also feels resentful of Ursa? Especially when Azula whole-heartedly believes what Ozai wanted her to believe about how she was better than her brother and deserved to be treated better. Ursa treating Zuko kindly is a threat to that belief, a threat to what Azula's father made her believe was where her sense of self-worth lay.

Two, what Azula says about how their mother "liked Zuko more" is really more about her relationship with Zuko than it is about their mother. Remember the context of that conversation in "the Beach"? It comes right after Zuko's big revelation where he realizes that he's angry at himself for making the wrong choice and choosing to go back to the Fire Nation. When Zuko says he's angry at himself, Azula asks him why, and the voice acting in this bit is interesting, because Azula sounds suddenly curious. Before she was dismissive, although this is also the episode where we get an Azula who does, deep down, long for a human connection. We see glimpses of this curiosity when she asks Ty Lee how she is able to get boys to like her.

Azula's response to Zuko is equally dismissive, because just like in the scene with Ty Lee, Azula can't show vulnerability for long, can't let others know that she wants something from them without masking it in dismissive language, but before that, the camera does something interesting. The shot is a closeup of Zuko, who says he's afraid he doesn't know the difference between right and wrong anymore.

But while Zuko is talking in the foreground, the camera actually pans to shift focus to Azula in the foreground, watching him.

The purpose of this kind of shot is to position Azula as equal to the audience, as we watch Zuko grapple with worrying that he doesn't know the difference between right and wrong.

Which implies that Azula is also thinking about the same thing.

Of course, she calls him pathetic a moment later, but remember that this is Azula masking her feelings of vulnerability. What's really interesting about this situation is that Azula usually seems to have the upper hand against Zuko, and she keeps it here by doing what she always does, and reasserts that she's better than him. He's "pathetic" and his trauma is a "sob story," which of course she doesn't have. But even in his moment of confusion, Zuko actually has more clarity than Azula has, because he's able to question the way they were raised in a way Azula never has been able to do. The positioning of the shot also emphasizes this by showing Zuko as dominating most of the frame while Azula appears small in the background.

And then of course what Azula says about not caring about how her mother thought she was a monster is her being an unreliable narrator again, and we know she's attempting to blow off something that deeply bothers her. But it's not her mother that is the source of this, it's Azula's own confusion. Because Azula also is starting to realize that she's not sure if she knows the difference between right and wrong, and she's not brave enough to admit it the way Zuko is (Zuko who can't help but wear his emotions on his sleeve, which is something Azula is normally able to take advantage of, but here it gives him an advantage over her). But she knows that her mother tried to teach her to do the right thing, and she experiences confusion over the competing demands of trying to please both parents when the parents' demands are not aligned with each other.

Because she couldn't please both parents, Azula made the choice long ago to please the one who was the most powerful, and of course that's Ozai. But that doesn't mean her internal conflict went away. When Zuko stops making that choice, it's a threat to her entire worldview. That's a big reason why she needs him to come with her in Ba Sing Se, why she sees Iroh as a threat, and why she's dismissive of the bond Zuko and Ursa had, and why she goes after Zuko when he joins the gaang, with intentions of killing him.

Which is also why I don't see Azula doing things like encouraging Zuko not to look at things that remind him of Ursa or telling him not to visit Iroh as beneficently as some. I do think it's more complicated than just a threat, and that there's some affection there, but it's also a way for Azula to affirm her own flawed beliefs. If Azula cares for Zuko, it's in a similar way to the way her father cares about her, as someone she can control and use to reinforce her own feelings of superiority.

Azula can't understand why Zuko would cling to the relationship with his mother, or Iroh, when these relationships cause him pain. But these relationships make Zuko strong in a way that Azula isn't, and she knows this, deep down.

There's an interesting moment in "The Search" when Azula can't understand why Zuko would still be fire lord even though he doesn't want it, and why he would try to help people who resent him. Which also has to do with his relationship with his sister, because in this comic he also offers to help her despite Azula trying to sabotage his search for Ursa the entire time, and Zuko tells her that she's still his sister. She tearfully tells him that "even when you're strong, you're weak," before running off.

Which reminds me of this quote from the movie "What Dreams May Come":

He was a coward! Being strong, not giving up, it was just his place to hide. He pushed away the pain so hard, disconnected himself from the person he loved the most… Sometimes, when you win, you lose.

The things that Azula regards as weaknesses in Zuko are actually the things that make him stronger than Azula in the end, and that's also at the heart of Azula and Zuko's differing relationships with their parents. Zuko learns to confront things from his past that are painful in order to make himself stronger, to free himself from Ozai's influence and embrace meaningful relationships that don't revolve around control and fear, whereas Azula is largely in denial about her own trauma. So yeah, I do think that if she could understand Zuko and learn from him, she could potentially repair her relationship with both her brother and her mother. There's a lot of contention about what Ehasz said about Zuko being "Azula's Iroh" in discussion about a possible redemption arc for her, and I myself have said some things against that idea - most notably the idea that Zuko needs to be responsible for "fixing" her when she is a huge part of and contributed to his own trauma - but there is some truth in Zuko being somehow involved in a possible redemption arc for her because Zuko has achieved what she hasn't been able to yet.

[thehollowwriter]

Vent

I need to talk to the psychologist again bc last time I nearly blew a blood vessel because she kept insisting that everything my mom acted, well, like herself I must "fall back on my dad so he can deal with situation" NO GOD DAMN IT I DON'T CARE IF HE SAID HE'LL DO SOMETHING HE NEVER DOES. HE JUST GOES "I'LL TALK TO HER" AND THAT DOES FUCK ALL. MY SISTER WND I ARE STILL MAKING BREAKFAST, LUNCH ON DINNER AND GETTING MY BROTHER READY FOR SCHOOL AND BATHING HIM AND HELPING MY DAD EAT AND GO TO THE BATHROOM AND CLEANING THE KITCHEN AND CLEANING MY PARENTS' ROOM AND MAKING MY MOM COFFEE, MEDICINE, FOOD, AND SWEETS AND HELPING MY DAD IN AND OUT OF BED AND CHANGING HIS CLOTHES WHEN HIS CARER ISN'T HERE-

AND YET. AND YET THEY STILL HAVE THE FUCKING AUDACITY TO TELL ME THAT I AM "STILL A CHILD"! DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE TELL ME THAT WHEN MOTHER DEAR SPENDS ALL DAY ON HER PHONE OR WATCHING TV AND THREATENING TO NOT TAKE US TO SCHOOL BECAUSE WE DIDN'T MAKE HER COFFE FAST ENOUGH, OR THROWING A BITCH FIT BECAUSE WE DIDN'T GRATE SOME CHEESE OVER THE DINNER SHE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING MAKE AND WAS JUST EATING IN BED OR THREATENED TO LOCK ME OUTSIDE FOR HAVING AN "ATTITUDE"

AND YET... AND YET I'M TOLD TO RELY ON MY DAD TO DO SOMETHING? WHEN HE HASN'T DONE JACK SHIT OR EVEN ENCOURAGED MY MOM FOR YEARS. DOES SAYING "I'LL TALK TO HER" "JUST LEAVE IT" "STOP IT" "BE QUIET" "STOP ARGUING SOUND LIKE FUCKING "DOING SOMETHING" TO YOU?

AND ON TOP OF ALL THIS I MUST GET GOOD GRADES! "OR YOU WON'T GET INTO UNI, QUINN" WELL SORRY FOR NOT HAVING STELLAR GRADES WHEN MY SISTER AND I DOING BASICALLY EVERYTHING, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE CARER ISN'T HERE, AND ANY HOPE OF HELP OR OUTSIDE ACTIVITY WAS SHOT DOEN BECAUSE A CERTAIN LAZY POS REFUSED TO TAKE US TO SPORT OR GYMNASICS OR BALLET BECAUSE SHE'S "TOO TIRED" OR INTERROGATING US ABOUT WHAT WE SAID TO THE SOCIAL WORKER OR BEING ANGRY AT US FOR SEEING A PSYCHOLOGIST "WITHOUT TELLING HER BECAUSE YOU CAN'T TRUST THEM" OR- OR INSISTING "WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS HOUSE STAYS IN THIS HOUSE, YOU DON'T GO TELLING YOUR GRANDPARENTS OR OTHER FAMILY STUFF THAT DOESN'T CONCERN THEM"

LET'S NOT FORGET ARGUING WITH THE DOCTOR AND INSISTING HE'S WRONG AND DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT FOR THINKING I HAVE ADHD. IT COULD HELP ME, BUT WHO CARES, LET'S INSIST IT'S NOT THAT AND THEN GET ANGRY WHEN QUINN FORGETS THINGS, GETS DISTRACTED, MAKES MISTAKES, OR GETS POOR GRADES

LET'S INSIST QUINN HAS DEPRESSION BECAUSE "I'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH I'M BASICALLY QUALIFIED TO BE A PSYCHIATRIST, AND I KNOW THE SIGNS". LET'S SAY THAT'S WHY SHE'S TIRED ALL THE TIME, AND NOT BECAUSE SHE'S LITERALLY BEING THE PARENT OF THE HOUSE. EVEN THE FUCKING PSYCHOLOGIST SAYS THAT THERE'S NOT MUCH THAT CAN BE DONE ABOUT THE SITUATION AND I'M GOING TO HAVE TO BE "THE PARENT"..

"WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO UNHAPPY" "WHY DO YOU HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM" GEE IDK MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE AN ABUSIVE POS WHO SLAPPED ME AND LOCKED ME OUTSIDEAND THREW A PLATE A LT ME AND WOULD CONSTANTLY THREATEN US WITH STUFF LIKE "I'LL BREAK THIS BOWL OVER YOUR HEAD" "I'LL PUNCH YOU" "I'LL THROW THIS SCALDING COFFEE AT YOU" ALL WHILE RELYING ON US TO DO EVERYTHING AND WHINING ABOUT HOW MUCH YOUR LIFE SUCKS EVEN THOUGH YOU SPEND ALL DAY EVERY DAY DOING WHATEVER YOU WANT WITHOUT A JOB AND AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY YOU WOULD TEAR INTO MY APPEARANCE OR CALL ME A BITCH OR CALL ME CANCER

AND THEN YOU FUCKING EXCUSE IT ALL WITH "IT WAS BECAUSE I HAD A SPIRIT ATTACHED TO ME" AND EVERY TIME WE BRING UP WHAT YOU DONE YOU EITHER BLAME IT ALL ON THAT OR SAY "I'M SORRY YOU'RE MADE AT ME FOR BEING SICK" "OR I'M SORRY THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL" OR "HOW YOU PERCIEVE THINGS ISN'T ALWAYS THE TRUTH"

I'm so tired. I'm so so tired.

[moondragon618]

So uh. I think I've decided that I want to be a little bit more open about some things on here bc honestly trying not to acknowledge it is just causing me a ton of unnecessary stress (and I'm sure as fuck not acknowledging it irl lmaooo) so yeah. So I'll start with this: I'm currently unemployed and living with my parents (mom and stepdad) and my younger but also adult brother (they all have some form of income but it's only just barely enough to get by). Now on its own the whole all of us living together thing should not be that big of a deal apparently according to what I've learned from hearing other ppl's experiences in similar situations. Unfortunately my parents do not think like this. My mom especially is convinced that we are literally ruining her life so y'know that's fun (:

Okay but seriously. I'm about to sound like I'm trying to downplay this (and maybe I am bc. Yk.) but like a good 80% or so of the time it's. Fine. We get along okay. But I know that's only bc we never acknowledge The Problems outside of the few bad days and we always just go on like those never even happened. And here's what I mean by bad days btw: ""Family Meetings"". Yeah that phrase is literally a fucking trigger for me now it's fucking bullshit. When I was younger it meant "me getting screamed at about how fucked up I am and how fucked I'll be in the "real world" and how I'm just "a soft spoiled little bitch bc I never got my ass beat" (like my brother. bc he's definitely fine and has no issues at all lmaooo) (and usually without the bitch part aside from once when I was a teenager) and now it's more "me getting screamed at by my mom abt how I'm ruining her life and her marriage" etc. etc. So yeah. My stepdad is a little better in that he only yelled at me one time when I was like 12 I think? And then never again. And he seems to at least understand that if screaming at still hasn't "fixed" me after 25 fucking years then it's probably not going to so yeah. And he did actually kind of stand up for me during the last one (in late September-ish) which I know isn't much but it's still way more than anyone else has done so I do appreciate it.

Anyway the last one was really fun (terrible) I got the usual + being told I being disrespectful for not coming out to the living room bc I was having a panic attack and quite literally frozen and unable to move 👍👍👍 And I've also been limited to just my phone since then bc my mom took my computer (bc god forbid we consider there might be a reason I'm on it so much) and still hasn't given it back and tbh I think I'd rather kms than ask for it back so that's fun too (:

I am aware that this is abusive behavior and that screaming at your child for any reason is in fact child abuse btw. It took me until very recently to come to terms with that even while knowing that (and I'm probably still not fully there tbh) but I know. It's that fucking generational trauma bullshit yk. My mom's side of the family is Fucked Up like her parents were terrible and their (mostly her dad's idk the other ones lol) parents. Yeah I'm not even comfortable talking about them right now that's like a whole other thing lmao. But yeah I know that doesn't even remotely make it okay.

And yeah like the day after shit like that happens we just never acknowledge it again until everyone's losing their shit again because nothing ever changes. Believe it or not being screamed at does not help me figure out how to navigate getting a source of income or how I'm supposed to do anything when we sure as fuck can't afford another vehicle or how I'm ever going to be able to afford my own place to live lmaooo. And I also literally cannot even talk to them about any of this without losing my ability to speak so that really doesn't help either (: I sure as fuck haven't tried calling out the bullshit either bc fuck that there's no fucking way that's going over well and I couldn't even if I wanted to (: (: (:

So I'm just kinda stuck here ig. It's really not too bad (most of the time). I'm not saying that to minimize or invalidate anything either I just want you all to know that it's not like super urgent or anything, I'm not in danger, my mental health isn't great obviously but I'm not at risk of hurting myself or suicide or anything. Promise <3 I'm a tenacious bastard sticking around out of pure spite and a desire to keep creating things if nothing else lmao :)

God this is kind of a trauma dump lmao but that about sums it up ig? I'm also very much open to advice if anyone has any <3

[mental-health-advice]

Alr, idk how we will solve the tag issue yet as we are very many alters so separate accs may not work but at least I can bring this up now knowing I didnt before!

--- Warning for talk ab delusions, kidnapping, Family abuse and stuff like that ---

Basically we did get emotionally, psychologically and probably more abused and in childhood before we even understood it was abuse we sometimes would think "well that cant be MY parent" bc of it. At age 8(?) We found out our dad isn't our biological dad.

After that I know we repeatedly thought we must have been switched at birth, kidnapped at birth or something else bc no way in hell could we be related to our mother. This went as far as us episodically actually being full on believing that she isnt our mother and often we were tempted to look through documents or go to the hospital we were born at to ask.

Note that our youngest half sister literally looks like a carbon copy of the body at her age. Like we literally have evidence we a re e related but we still keep believing she must have taken us.

The past days it was bad again, as I'm typing this I'm more in reality again but it's scary to think that any morning I could wake up believing that our mother is a kidnapper or that we were switched at birth or that none of our family actually are our family etc

I tried looking into it eatlier.

Most I found was new mothers suffering from delusions ab their babies being switched at birth and people having delusions that their families got replaced by clones (which,, I probably should have waited to read when I was more fully grounded rather than still half gone bc that makes me uncertain ab our abusive younger brother bc he cant have become that bad for jo reason etc)

Idk how to bring this up to our psychiatrist and therapist without them starting to think the entire system is just a delusion or hallucination as well :(

-- Crepe (☆)

Hey there,

This sounds to be a really scary predicament to be in. I guess in the situations that you feel as though you have been kidnapped or swapped at birth, just try to reassure yourself that these are just feelings and not necessarily the truth. Try to ground yourself, focus on your breathing and surroundings, remind yourself that you are in the here and now.

I am so sorry that you have been through so much abuse in your life and from such an early age as well. I want you to know though that sometimes remembering these abuse episodes or situations I guess you could call them, can be a good thing and especially if you are remembering them bit by bit and not all at once. The reason I am saying this is because remembering things slowly can allow you to slowly heal from this past abuse with your psychiatrist and therapist. This will take time though and a lot of hard work and working through abuse may bring other things up as well, but keep in close contact and update your psychiatrist and therapist on a regular basis and I know you can work through this at all your own paces. Of course though, it may be too soon to work on any abuse issues so please do talk to your psychiatrist and therapist first before starting anything!

Abuse can affect people differently and sometimes abuse can even run in families. For example, my Dad’s Dad (I cannot refer to him as anything more due to abuse I suffered from him) was sexually and emotionally abusive and the emotional abusiveness went down to my own Dad and his brother. This is not to say that abuse runs in everyone’s family but it is possible. So I guess what I am trying to say that maybe your younger brother was also abused or the abusive side of things or what he saw happen to you made him think it was OK to abuse others in that same way. Just something to think about!

Back to the delusions now though and how you could bring this up with your therapy team! I think that what you wrote was really well said and so maybe writing something similar in a letter maybe helpful to share with them? It will help for them to better understand where you currently are and how best they can help you all right now with knowing that important information. Would you feel comfortable writing something down? If not, then just try to explain things as you have done on here. It’s OK to feel how you are, being confused or delusional at times. None of this is your fault, and none of this means that your entire system is just a delusion or hallucination and I think your psychiatrist and therapist will know that just from knowing you and your history and especially if you have been seeing them for a while. The horrible thing about DID is that sometimes things come up in pieces that don’t quite make complete sense, this is normal. So please don’t worry!

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help support you guys in any other way!

I’m thinking of you all and hope you are all going as best as you can be!

Take care,

Lauren  

[sweetea-rosey]

Wait that actually does sound really nice 😭

I think it's worth noting that my brother has got that AuDHD stuff going at him. He really does love me, kinda in the way you'd love a puppy I guess. But for him, that all culminated in him not fully understanding that I mean it when I ask him to stop or that he should stop when I express that I don't like something. Especially when we were little.

It's resulted in me having to find more creative ways to get him to understand that I genuinely want him to stop what he's doing (screeching, making animal noises, shooing him away and flailing to keep his distance). Sometimes it works, sometimes he says I'm overreacting and gets upset at me, sometimes he just thinks it's funny (the noises).

One time I had the door locked while I was taking a shower- we have a glass shower door, something he himself was upset about when we first got it because of how exposed it felt. Idk about him, but it started my habit of locking the door whenever I'm in there.

One time my parents had to unlock it to grab some medicine they needed right then- from the closet that is right next to the door that has all of out medical stuff. The next day my brother unlocked it while I was showering to grab something trivial. I talked to my mom about it and she had to explain to talk to him about not unlocking a door if it's not important

My dad's said he thinks he has the same situation as my brother going on, which is I think might be why he doesn't seem to intrinsically consider the possibility that his independent, teenage daughter might not like him going into her room whenever he wants, or taking the spare key to go through her car, or managing stuff in her inbox just because he happens to be able to see it from his phone.

Or taking me to get a bow when I specifically said I didn't feel ready commit to one yet and without telling my mom he was planning to make such a purchase. It's with luck that it's worked out and I still like archery, but I have a history of being noncommittal

I think my mom's talked to him about it because he recently actually asked if he could go look at the lights in my room.

I'm still at a point where I don't feel like I can say no? Like, he asks or gives an option of it, but I don't know how he'd react if I said no. And I don't know how to voice any of it because I don't know how he'd react and because I don't know what I DO want

I can appreciate your family setting and respecting boundaries. Which might be where my issue is. An apartment or a home just feels like an automatic boundary for me. Obviously it's not to everybody, clearly, but when someone lives alone- that feels like an automatic boundary that you need permission to cross. Like a vampire

I'm in a fandom....more in the sense that I enjoy the fics and the original work, but I don't interact and I don't write...yet

But, one of the main characters has a best friend and a sister, and writers ways has them just- help themselves into his apartment or room and it annoys me everytime

[80pairsofcrocs]

baby scarab || 51

anon - i love this series sm 😭 what if baby scarab runs into one of her old abusive foster families and steven has to prevent jake and marc from fronting and he fails miserably

~~~

anon - BS having a nightmare about her dads hurting her?

~~~

A/N : just a reminder that dreams are visions into another universe :(

masterlist - marvel masterlist - series masterlist

A/N : using poe dameron gifs bc idk where to find more mk ones :(

please enjoy, and don't be shy if you want to be in the taglist, just ask <3, sorry for the long wait

pairings : steven grant x (platonic)reader, marc spector x (platonic) reader, khonshu x (platonic)reader, jake lockley x (platonic)reader

TW : medicine (pills), spidey stuff, mentions of violence, language, old foster parents bringing up old shit, an almost panic attack, nightmare, protective dads, mentions of pedophilia, let me know if i missed anything.

~~~

“wait so they just started following you and saying things-“ marc stops himself. “wait what did they even say?”

you sigh for what feels like the millionth time.

it was the next morning, marc drinking coffee while interrogating you now that you felt better, taking your medication at the right times now.

your head still felt a little off, but better enough to be able to think straight.

“frank told you, didn’t he?” you dodge the question and marc nods.

“well- yeah but i want to hear it from you” he says honestly and you hum.

“what if i don’t want to talk about it?” you ask and reach for the remote, turning on the tv until marc takes it away, turning it back off.

“then i’d tell you that whenever you feel like it, you can. whenever you want” he begins. “oh, and i already called you in today, so don’t even think about leaving alone”

“but i need more pop tarts we ran out again” you whine and marc scoffs.

“how are we out already? we just- nevermind” he sighs.

“i can go to the market with you later, if you want” steven offers and you smile.

“see? this is why stevens my favorite” you start. “plus i won’t be alone, i’ll have you guys” you say, and marc rolls his eyes.

“i know but-“

“you still worry, yeah i get it but it’ll be a short trip, what could happen?”

~~~

you took forever getting ready, but now you and steven were hand in hand on the way to the store.

you found it comforting to be holding one of your dads hands while you were in public.

it comforted them too.

you had been touch starved ever since you remember, and now that you’ve been completely comfortable with all your dads, you had no problem with just taking their hand in yours just because you feel like it.

now all three of them had lacked comfort as well.

marc being abused by his mother after his brother passed away, stevens life being a bit messed up by not knowing he had an american man living inside him, and jake, who had been in hiding, only coming out to protect steven or marc without them knowing.

marc and jake loved it especially because it made them feel special.

they’ve killed so many people- and knowing that a teenage girl trusts them makes them feel like they can actually be good people.

and that’s because they are, they just don’t believe it.

steven though, has just simply never had anybody.

all the dates that had been messed up, and just no time to ever connect with anyone until now.

he simply just liked the feeling of having someone that wanted to connect with him, especially his kid.

now back to walking on the sidewalk, steven guides you into the less crowded store and grabs a basket, you letting go of his hand while he does so.

“now why don’t you go get your pop tarts, and meet me by the produce” he starts. “how does that sound?” he asks and you smile while nodding.

“it sounds great” you begin, walking backwards. “see you in a minute” you turn around to the pop tarts while steven wanders towards the produce.

it was almost empty in the store, thank khonshu, while you walked down the aisles, searching for your favorite flavor of pop tarts.

you found them and picked up the box with a small smile, about to go find steven when you heard a voice that made that smile disappear, a frown replacing it with semi widened eyes.

“is that y/n? y/n y/l/n?” you turn around and see a middle aged woman, and an adult woman as well, looking like the older ‘sister’ you once had.

the last home you were in, the one where you spent most of your time starved in a basement- this was the family.

well, some of it at least.

the older woman- your old ‘mother’ looked at you in shock, and you just stared back, the pop tart box in a tight grip in your hand.

you just clench your jaw as they both walked towards you with small smiles.

“oh, look how you’ve grown-“ the older lady says, putting a hand out towards your face but you hit it away.

“don’t” you whisper out, your voice not wanting to get any higher. “please leave me alone” you back up and turn to get away from them when the person looking at you when you turned around made your breath hitch and stop in your tracks.

it was him.

your old ‘father’.

he was older. but he still had that same scowl on his face whenever he looked at you.

“what the hell is she doing here? i thought she was still in the crazy place” is the first thing he says, nearing both the women, and when he passed you, you couldn’t help but flinch when he got too close.

you felt overwhelmed, and your ears felt like someone had shoved a bunch of cotton balls in them.

just hearing all their voices made you want to hide in your room under your bed for the rest of your life.

you just shakily watched all of them stare at you while you breathed heavily and clutched the food to your chest.

you couldn’t bring yourself to move back, it was like your feet were cemented into the floor.

the thing is, you were scared- no, terrified.

you could go your whole life not knowing whatever happened to these people, yet here they are. 

“yeah i thought she’d still be there too but obviously she’s not” the younger girl says and you blink away tears, not wanting them to see you cry.

the large man just stared down at you, not sure what to think.

the last time he saw you, he sent you away and watched as you were knocked out and wheeled away after being deemed insane.

and now here you were, staring at them like they were ghosts.

“are you okay?” your old ‘sister’ asks and your eyebrows furrow as you bite your lip.

“please don’t-“

“why are you acting so scared, huh?” the man asks and you avoid looking near him as his voice sounded tense and angry.

you could bring yourself to say anything, just hearing his voice brought back too many memories.

when he would smack you around for breathing too loud, or not being grateful so he would throw you in the basement.

or just throw things at you, like glass bottles or heavy books just for fun.

“what did we ever do to you?” he says to you, making your head shoot your to look at him through blurry vision.

“you starved me and locked me in a basement” you end up letting out a quiet whimper at the end of your sentence, putting a hand to your mouth to not let anything else out, afraid he would actually hit you in public.

“because you were ungrateful” he starts, scoffing while the two women just give him subtle judgmental looks. “and it looks like you still are. let me guess, you made some fancy couple pity you so that you would get adopted” he states and you shake your head.

he just scoffs again and the younger woman rolls her eyes.

“just leave her, she doesn’t want to see us and she isn’t our problem anymore” she says and you blink rapidly to try and makes the tears go away.

“oh jesus- you’re crying? you think i can’t see through your act?” he steps closer to you. “you’re crazy. delusional. you better get your ass back in that asylum before you scare anyone else off” he grits out and you make a furrow your brows.

“oh you don’t know, do you?” he starts, a bitter smile on his face as he takes another step closer, the two women just ignoring everything and browsing the shelves.

“your first family? when they found out about you they gave you back” he starts and your frown deepens. “last i heard they left town after not feeling safe in their own home. reports of feeling like they were being watched every since you left”

“can’t you see? you just leave danger in your path, you scare people, and that- the fact that you are a deranged little kid is the reason it got you abused” 

he took yet another step closer, so that he was really in your face. 

“i don’t know why we ever took you in. always ungrateful, and disrespectful” he shakes his head, glaring into your eyes as if you murdered his entire family.

your eyes just filled with more tears, while you shrunk into yourself, feeling small once again like you did only a few years ago.

“i don’t know why anyone would ever want someone like you. you’re a psychopath. you see things, hear things, and you terrify anybody that gets to know you”

“and that’s all you’ll ever do. you can’t do anything else, you’re a defenseless, weak little kid, you’ll never amount to anything” he chuckles darkly.

he is about to continue when he’s roughly shoved away, and the two women turn their attention back to help the man from stumbling over.

steven was the one who shoved him away, putting a hand out in front of you as a foe of protection as you stare at the floor with wide, teary eyes.

“have you gone mad?” steven exclaims, looking at the man with disgust and surprise.

“this is a kid you’re talking to- a completely normal one at that” steven defends you while he feels both marc and jake trying to push him away so that they could have their own talks with the man.

steven quickly tells them to stop, and that he can handle this in his head, no longer feeling the pressure in his head after that.

“so? what’s it to you? i was just telling her i was surprised to see she was still-“

“what? still what?” steven presses impatiently.

“sane, by now i thought she’d be kept in padded rooms by the way she used to act around us” he starts. “embarrassing us then acting like nothing happened” he mutters and steven scoffs.

“maybe you should be the one in the asylum” his eye twitches in anger, and he stands a bit more in front of you.

“she is not crazy- and she isn’t some defenseless kid! hell, she could probably take you down is she wanted to” steven shouts at him and the man rolls his eyes.

“oh yeah? why are you even defending her? do you know what she sees? she sees things that aren’t even there” he explains and steven shakes his head.

“i’m defending her because she is my daughter- and because it’s the right thing to do” steven begins and the man’s composure falters for a second.

“and yes. i know of her illness, and it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. and do you know why? it’s because that doesn’t define who she is! she is the smartest kid i’ve ever met- and she is literally capable of anything you don’t even understand” steven stops himself and you shakily reach a hand to tug at his sleeve, making him turn around with softer eyes.

he just gives you a nod, and turns to the man one last time.

“if i hear that you’ve said a single word to her again- and that applies to all of you- we will personally see to it that you can never speak again” steven ends darkly and turns around to guide you away from them.

the commotion had gathered a small crowd, all of them on your and stevens side after hearing steven yelling at them.

“hey kid, you alright?” you hear marc ask and you just distractedly nod while adjusting your hold on the pop tart box.

“i’m.. im alright. thank you guys” you end quietly and steven stops the both of you behind one of the taller shelves for some privacy.

“i’m sorry if i freaked you out, i don’t know what came over me, i-“ you cut steven off by hugging him tightly.

“he deserved it” you assure him.

“he deserved more” jake scoffs and you sigh, letting go of steven and avoiding eye contact.

“maybe he’s right. maybe i’m cursed or something” you start, steven shaking his head.

“everywhere i go, danger follows. yesterday with those guys, and now today with.. them” you sigh and put your pop tarts in the basket steven was holding, making sure they didn’t crush the fresh fruits and vegetables.

“you aren’t cursed, it was just bad luck” steven guides you to the checkout, while you just listen to him talk.

“he didn’t know what he was talking about, trust me you aren’t insane. yes, you have your moments like when you brought a duck home, and the whole sex thing- but you’re pretty normal otherwise” he says quickly and you find yourself smiling as he pays for all the groceries, and you slip some money in his pocket for the pop tarts.

“well, as normal as you can be with the- thank you-“ he quickly thanks the lady at the register while speaking to you.

“anyways, you got bit by a radioactive spider and now you have spider powers, and in my personal opinion i think that’s a bit more strange than your illness” steven whispers to you honestly and you smile, taking the bag from him so that you could hold his hand again as you walked out of the store.

“you don’t have to carry that-“

“yes i do” you tell him and he stays quiet.

the walk home is quiet, which you liked since you had an odd sense of closure with your old ‘family’.

you’d never seen steven act like that before, even the way he so aggressively pushed that man away from you and yelled at him.

that was always more marc and jakes thing, but honestly seeing steven stand up for something he knew was right made you proud of him.

he was proud of himself too, he didn’t even think he had it in him to stand up to anybody like that, especially someone much larger than him.

he felt an adrenaline rush when he saw that man all up in your face.

he was waiting just a bit too long by the produce when he decided to look for you, and when he turned a corner some guy was just insulting you and calling you crazy.

what happened in his head, is that he beat the absolute shit out of that guy and took you home so that he could watch your favorite show with you while you calmed down.

well, he got the ending right because after putting away all the groceries that’s exactly what you did.

you were sat next to him, messing with your hair rather than actively watching tv.

steven had noticed of course, too. he was watching you.

but not in a creepy way, no, more like in a worried way.

you would usually be talking his ear off, or at least doing something to interact with him.

but here you were. sitting almost a foot away from him while your head was in space.

it was the most awkward you and steven have ever been to be honest.

it was either you or him making conversation, and he didn’t even know what to say.

he didn’t want to trigger you or set you off if he says the wrong thing, but he also wanted to give you a sense of closure.

marc and jake both agreed that steven should just man up and say something, just to at least make you feel a little better.

“so.. y/n. if there’s anything you’d like to talk about i’d-“

“why would i want to talk about it? i already said i was fine” you interrupt him with an all too fake smile.

“darling, this is really bothering you, isn’t it?” steven states more than questions and you give up and nod.

“more than it should” you mumble angrily.

“here, how would you usually release your anger when you were in foster homes?”

“steven how does this help, amigo?” jake asks and steven shushes him.

“just trust me” he mutters and you think about it for a second before answering hesitantly.

“sometimes i would punch the wall until my hands were bleeding” you mumble and steven hums.

“glad you grew out of that” he starts. “..anything else?”

“i.. i used to fight kids at school. my first fight was in second grade when i threw a rock at someone’s head and then she turned around and started pulling my hair and.. it just escalated from there” you explain and steven nods.

“okay.. so you’ve released anger physically” he nods to himself. “alright then” 

you notice him tense up only a bit, and by the way he changed his posture you could tell it was marc.

“fight me” is the first thing he says and you just raise an eyebrow.

“no” you start. “what the fuck”

“yeah, come on just hit me, i’ll heal right away plus it’s not like you can actually hurt me” marc chuckles and you deadpan at him.

“no. ass”

“aww, y/n come on” he tries to convince you and you shake your head.

“just one punch, really quick” he tells you, putting both his hands up so that you could hit his palms if you wanted to.

you just stared at him with a small smile. “nah, i’m- i’m good” you say and marc sighs dramatically.

“wimp”

“shut up marc”

“chicken”

“marc” 

“wuss”

“i swear to-“

“fine, i get it you’re too scared-“ you cut marc off by shoving his hands away and flipping him around by his shoulders to pin him down to the couch, twisting one of his arms behind his back and moving it up further every time he tried moving.

“hey hey hey- now wait a damn minute-“ marc takes a couple breaths.

you just smile from above him while jake laughed.

“steven was right, i feel better” you nod to yourself.

marc just lays there in defeat as jake keeps on laughing.

“see, and now you can say you’ve beat marc in a fight” you can sense the smile on stevens face.

“hey she didn’t beat me, if we were really fighting i would’ve gone easy, but i still woulda won” marc complains and you chuckle, getting off of him while he sits back up and rubs his wrist.

“sorry if i actually hurt you” you mumble.

“you didn’t, but i am proud, you did that perfectly just how i taught you” marc compliments and you find yourself smiling again before it quickly fades.

“i know i say it too much but i really do appreciate you guys” you begin. “you act like i don’t have schizophrenia, you tear me like i’m a person and really love you all for that”

you take a quick breath and continue. “it’s hard to think about everyone else before you guys because they all treated me like i was a disease or like i was just some stress ball. so they didn’t acknowledge me or they.. they hated me and hit me and-“ you cut yourself off, feeling a weight come off of your chest.

“you guys are my first real family. it’s weird saying that since im 17 but still” you lean back on the couch and marc does the same, pulling you close to him so that your head rested between his chin and his shoulder.

“and we are honored to be your first real family. we love you, honey” he presses a kiss to the top of your head, and you snuggle in closer to marc, making him chuckle.

“you tired?” he asks and you just hum.

marc adjusts you so that you’re laying more comfortably, with your head in his lap while he played with your hair, knowing you liked that.

it was almost like flipping a light switch when you fell asleep.

unexpected honestly, and you weren’t even remotely prepared for what was coming.

~~~

you woke up alone, which confused you as you sat up and looked all around the apartment.

nobody was there, and you couldn’t find any notes so you frantically looked around the house for anything, when all of a sudden jake appeared in front of you, adjusting his hat as you flinched back from shock.

“holy shit- jake you scared me what happened?” you ask him and he shakes his head slowly and you raise an eyebrow.

“jake..? you okay?” you question and he tilts his head at you.

“i am” is all he says before he slouches over, and takes off the hat.

“steven?” you ask again, and he nods slowly while you just stare at him.

“what is going on?” you mutter to yourself and he chuckles.

“you don’t know? are you delusional or something?” he ask sarcastically and your jaw drops.

“steven what the hell? are you being serious?” you exclaim, and he crosses his arms.

“you know, i only defended you so that it would hurt more” he starts and you get even more confused.

“what are you saying? are you- do you really mean that?”

“why of course i do. you think we mean anything we say?” he takes a step closer to you and you back away.

“scared, love?” he raises an eyebrow and uncrosses his arms.

“you should be. you’re stupid to trust anybody when you’re the way that you are. crazy. delusional” he takes a step closer with every word, you backing up until you’re against a wall.

“psychotic” he grins at you and you furrow your brows.

“this isn’t real” you mutter to yourself, knowing for a fact that this couldn’t actually be happening.

“yes it is, darling” he says the last word with venom laced in his tone.

“no it’s not” you grit out pushing him away from you, and right after you do, the unexpected happens.

steven brought his hand back, and released it to swing right at your face, hitting you right in the cheek.

your eyes widened and you froze up, bringing a hand up to feel where he had hit you.

you blink once, and he was gone, and you find yourself in front of a mirror.

and another blink later, you aren’t in the reflection.

the person that was in the reflection was arthur harrow, smiling at you while you tried your hardest to breath.

“no.. why.. this- you can’t-“

“your time will come, y/n. soon enough” he tells you, and then, it all goes back to black.

~~~

A/N : i’m so so sorry about the weird ending it’s really rushed bc i’m already late at posting but i really do hope you enjoyed it, stay tuned for more :)

see you all in a few days :)

taglist ---

@alexloveskili @ihatemyselfmorethanmydepression @thebiggestsimpshrimp @guyinachair27 @astrobuzzsstuff @mooonlight-and-stars @moonlighting87 @mateihavenoidea @inactive-things @alondrashultz @femalemarvelself @queenthorin1 @haileymorelikestupid @jvdethirlwall @justtiredandvibing @winterfrostsarmy @themapoftinyperfectthings @littlebird101 @atzlena @httpslinow @arrowurboat @m-brekker @lifeandbandmembers-blog @adamcarlsenslvr @violet-19999 @seninjakitey @bestgirlpip @panic-in-the-multiverse @in-between-the-cafes @branolagar @bl6o6dy @annoyingmarvelreader @bee-a-cool-kid @buzzitsbeee @wintergirlsoilder2 @crow-carcass @you-bloody-shank @distinguishedmakerpandapatrol @valiantphantomangel @50shadesofcrocs @rayrlupin @kingshitonly @brekkers-desigirl @hutaos-gh0st @kayane28 @nevaeh-jasso @lizlil @scarabgrant @luvxxee @certainchildmentality @yikesitskennawrites

[yanderecandystore]

Could you please do a fanfic for a male version of Yandere! Lady Dimitrescu (from Resident Evil Village game) with the reader.

I really like the Resident Evil franchise but I'm too lazy to know what the hell is happening in the older games XD I'm so sorry about that-

I loved watching playthroughs of Resident Evil Village (can't buy the game ;-;), but I felt like it was a bit empty, idk- I felt like the lords weren't really explored enough.

Also the Duke is the best husbando in the whole game- Fight me! >:3

TW/Tags: GN = Gender Neutral, I normally forget to properly name it when it's gender neutral, most of the time I just say "reader" // maybe ooc // lazy genderbent, I'm terrible with names // size difference // servant reader // mentions of gore/cuts/bruises/blood and deaths (and torture- I'm so sorry-) // reader gets hurt // mentions of vomiting

It's Dinner Already [Yandere!M!Dimitrescu x GN!Reader - Short Fanfiction]

It's dinner time already, unfortunately for you, of course.

It feels almost like a routine at this point- Which in a way, it is! You always take care of your tasks during the day, while dreading the inevitable time for dinner to arrive again.

Everyday, at this exact same hour, you and the other servants would prepare a meal for Lord Dimitrescu and his lovely… Sons…

As someone who has started "working" for their family only a month ago, you can positively say: Starving in the cold woods next to your village would have probably been a more merciful death than the ones you have witnessed at this place. You weren't as accustomed to such brutal executions at your village, actually you hardly even witnessed so much death, at least not so up close.

When you came here, you didn't expect to be instantly comforted and treated with respect- You were a commoner looking for an possibility to thrive in a noble's house, you were basically an easy target for any entitled selfish lord to easily belittle you and make you work for them until your hands would turn to dust. Yet nothing could have prepared you for such an odd situation.

Vampires. Monsters. Fiends if you were bold enough to insult them. You weren't exactly welcomed as much as you were snatched in and now forever trapped inside this castle. You can still hear their laughter… Their insane expressions of pure glee, the way they have bursted into maliciously laughing at your pain as you screamed for help trying to open up their door again and be free from that nightmare.

The chase didn't last even a second, they stabbed your legs with their scythes and brought you deeper inside this hellhole, as you cried your eyeballs out. The sons had brought you back inside so their father could take a look at the "intruder".

An absolute titan amongst the mortals. His height was only a sick reminder of how much power he had over the castle, over his sons, and now- Over you.

He may not have been as massive as he was threatening as you remind him to be, but at the time you were just in awe of his height considering you have never seen someone as tall and as mighty.

Then again- You have never seen vampires as well. Were they the same vampires as the books you've read as a kid? You weren't so sure of it…

You were hoping that if you begged for life and for forgiveness for having disturbed their peace, that they could spare you and let you go back to your village. Sadly enough, you commented on how you were only trying to look for a job as a servant.

You probably shouldn't have given them ideas, but it's too late to think about your mistakes now, however.

The sons begged to see your blood spilled, yet Lord Dimitrescu was merciful enough to grant you your "wish", as he said.

It has been a month ever since you were trapped inside and forced to work as a miserable little servant, and even if you didn't suffer the worst forms of punishments that they had in-store for you, you couldn't help but fantasize about just running away and never turning back.

You're so tired of this castle, of the smell of carnage, of the undeserved and over the top punishments, and especially of the people who would subjugate you to such things.

But at last, it's dinner time already, and you can't keep them waiting.

You feel your hands shaking as you walk out of the kitchen and into the dining room where the masters of the castle were so graciously waiting for you. You know what they're waiting for- But you can't let them distract you, for those that commit accidents are faced with fates worse than death.

Although you would rather do this process quickly, you can't afford mistakes to happen, so you take your time to set not only their meal in front of each one but to also pour "wine" into their glasses. You do all of this without looking directly into their eyes, only bowing down to each one and saying "excuse me"s in what they would call a "decent tone", as the smell of their disgusting beverage starts to irritate your nostrils. If you didn't know the main ingredient to Sanguis Virgins is, you probably wouldn't have this immense disgust over it, but right now just the thought of it makes you want to gag.

Only villains could so easily drink blood, and still make a living out of it.

Your internal thoughts of pure hatred against this whole situation almost completely blinded you to the fact that they were eerily, very quiet.

….

On most nights they would be talking with each other while occasionally making comments about you or your presence. Obviously they were all pretty nasty comments that they somehow expected you to back it up in some way or another, it's when they try to insert you into their conversation that makes you hate this occasion so badly, but it normally ends as quickly as it begins.

But as you are pouring wine to Lord's Dimitrescu, you notice that they haven't said a single thing while you were there. You stop what you're doing as you realize that they were silently observing you this whole time, and as you look into their expressions you come to think that maybe you have messed up-

Somehow, in some way or form, you may have messed up- And the fact this mistake could cost your head only agitates your already very worried mind.

….

A small moment of silence continues before the middle son, Cassandro, starts to chuckle in an almost innocent way- As if he was a kid who just said a bad word for the first time- And as he bursts into sudden laughter, Daniel leans towards Bello and loudly whispers:

"- I told you, they do this every time." To which Bello only replied with:

"- It's almost like hypnosis in a way."

The three sons were mesmerized by your ability to trap yourself in your own mind. They're probably aware that you do this as a defensive mechanism but they still find it comical in a weird way. You feel yourself get more tense as you look up at Lord Dimitrescu and see him staring back at you, with an unreadable expression across his face.

Before you could come up with an excuse to whatever you may have caused to disturb their dinner, the Lord himself spoke.

"- How inappropriate. As my sons, you three should know better than to laugh at our servant's airheaded mind-"

And as he said that, their smiles begin to disappear and be replaced with frowns and a bit of shame as they become stiff at their father's words.

"- And how inappropriate of you, too. To be so distracted in the presence of your masters, that's quite rude don't you think?"

But as he continued their bodies begin to relax once again as they realize he wasn't focusing on them- He was focusing on you.

Words have completely disappeared from your vocabulary as you start to think that maybe you won't be able to see another day after their meal is over. You try to mumble some possible responses before getting interrupted by him once again.

"- It's very rude, so very rude in fact that I think we deserve some answers. What were you so distracted about? What were you thinking that could have possibly taken over your small little head?"

Right now, he was sounding a bit condescending, thankfully not as angry as he would have been with the other servants right about now. Every little mistake was used as excuses for punishments- And if you were walking on thin ice before, right now you are one-step closer to breaking this entire lake and getting yourself killed by the freezing temperatures of the water below you.

Thanks to your luck (or maybe lack thereof, depending on how you see this) Daniel came to "your rescue" by coming up with an excuse for you.

"- Maybe they were hungry." He said without any indications of it being a joke or a lie- As the youngest yet craziest of the bunch, he always had that weird "naive yet dangerous" energy coming from him. He was naive enough to make that statement when it's very clear that you actually despise being near them, but he still was a son of Dimitrescu.

You know better than to underestimate any of these people.

The Lord didn't seem completely convinced as he side eyed Daniel who was blissfully eating his meal without acknowledging his dad's glance or his brother's looks of disapproval.

Without a warning you were pulled closer by your wrist and forced into sitting next to the Lord, who made a sign for another servant to bring you your food. This… Doesn't feel right at all, you're waiting for the worst to come yet you don't feel like you can ever prepare yourself enough for what they have in store.

"- M-My Lord- This isn't needed, I'm fine. I'll just continue my duties, if you can excuse me-" You plead, while trying to get up from your chair.

"- Oh but what host would I be if I didn't take better care of my guests? Poor thing, you must be starving if you can barely serve us wine-" And as his tone gets progressively more sarcastic and a bit louder, you can hear his sons snickering from the other side of the table, but you can't see them since you can't take your eyes away from him.

You're worried that if you look away for just one second, that you may not be able to see ever again.

"- It's so sad when one of our guests feels hungry- What's worse is when we are also very, very hungry."

"- Thirsty, even!"

"- Oh, I can feel my throat drying just at the thought of such misery!- Our dinner seems to be ruined."

You hear their whispers, you hear how they are clearly joking about this- How overly dramatic they're being over something so miniscule as you just- Ignoring them.

Let me remind you this is all because you refuse to look them in the eyes, that you refuse to give them any satisfaction for the heinous things they have done! You've seen so many people get hurt inside this castle only for their sick and twisted thirst and entertainment.

"- Indeed, my boys. My appetite is ruined, though dinner is not over yet-" Lord Dimitrescu spoke as he looked at his sons clearly enjoying your inevitable pain, but before he could continue he turns himself to you again, putting a hand on your arm and saying:

"- Wouldn't you agree?" Loud enough so that his sons could hear it, but soft enough to send the tiniest shivers down your spine.

"- …!"

"- No, no- Please, not again!-" He wouldn't dare do this, would he??

But before you could react he had already done it, you barely noticed how fast he had grabbed that knife to slice your wrist- His hand firmly gripping your arm as he made a deep enough cut so that your blood could be easier to access.

It somehow hurts just as badly as the first time his sons have stabbed your ankles and dragged you across the floor- At least you're not bumping into things like before, and even if it's a deep cut it's not as big as it could be if he used his claws to actually do this.

Oh, oh those claws- You almost thought he would use them on you… Those were something else. You can't remember exactly what happened, and why it happened, but you remember seeing him use those on another servant who may have crossed the line at some point.

Well "crossed the line"- More like "casually inconvenienced him". Lord Alcino may act like an incredibly high noble but he acts so childishly and in such an egotistical manner that you are surprised he can even have a castle like this in the first place! You don't remember what the servant has done to be so cruelly dismantled, but you don't doubt that it was for a stupid reason!

You miss that servant actually- Probably the only person who you actually talked with, and the first one to actually taught you how to do your job… You two could have been friends if he didn't intervene.

You briefly remember those moments before getting to experience the most weird sensation of all- Having your bloody cut be licked and sucked on. It hurts and it stings in a way that not only makes you want to cry but to also gag at the thought of you feeding this monster.

You refuse to look at him even in this scenario, you refuse to see him feeding off your blood… Sometimes you wish you were just as poisonous as some species of frogs, poisonous enough to make his mouth burn so he can experience a fraction of the pain he causes to others.

You tried fleeting away, you tried getting up and moving away but his grip on your arm only helped you in getting closer to him- You have your eyes closed as your only option is to cry and muffle your agony.

But as always, he is not satisfied with you just ignoring him. This was supposed to be a lesson, yet you're clearly avoiding your teacher as best as you can- But not today, little flower, you're not getting out of this so easily.

This is the first time he ever got to really taste your blood, as normally you would be behind the other servants while trying to learn how to please him, the only moments where he gets to see you is when it's dinner time, but oh- You're just so cruel!

Escaping inside your own little head while he has to content himself with just your image. Your presence is very much appreciated around this hour, little one-

He has noticed this before, of course, but it was only when he noticed his son's curiosity over the way you behave around them that made him organize this little trap. He didn't have everything planned actually, his plan only involved getting to this moment no matter what- And oh boy, has luck been on his side!

Your blood tastes better than expected of a commoner, your delicate and fearful whines of pain are just as delightful but what really gets him is this tough persona you try to convince everyone you have- You despise him, and it's clear to see why- But he knows his charms will probably work on you one way or the other.

He gripped your face trying to make sure you'll get to him in the eyes as he has a taste of you. Absolutely delicious, especially after you so gracefully "ruined" their dinner.

His sons were just watching as they continued to drink from their crimson glasses. They were just enjoying the show, as everything seems to easily amuse them- Their father was just showcasing how they were so much better than the common folk, and they have no other option but to take notes and to remember what they have to do if they ever feel ignored by the servants in the castle: Show who are the true masters of this place.

None of them were really interested in drinking from you, considering how all three seemed to recognize how their father has taken a liking towards you. No one would dare mess with their father's prey.

If you had enough strength in you, you would start vomiting as soon as this has started, but the more he takes from you the more you feel like you can barely stay conscious.

He wasn't supposed to take so much, at least not so soon- He wanted to just take a sip but he can't deny the fact he would rather drown himself in your blood than to let go.

He sighs, as he notices that you're slowly getting less and less aggressive, getting more and more tired as he drains you from this cut.

You're not unconscious yet, just barely stable enough to understand what's going on.

"- Sigh… Now that was a decent enough meal." He can't praise you for being tasty, can't have you being cocky around him.

"- Here, since I'm done here I'll take you to the servant's living quarters- And because I'm so kind I'll make sure that wound is safely secured and cleaned, so here- Come along now."

And as he stood up he offered you his hand so you could get up yourself, but you don't have enough energy to walk yourself to your room, thankfully you're already ready to go to bed and wish to never wake up again.

And as the nightmare never ends, he decides that if you are going to be difficult then you leave him no choice but to carry you there. How much has he taken from you?? Jesus, he should learn some self-control before doing this again- The absolute brute that he is.

Your vision may be a little screwed over because of the lack of red cells running through your body at the moment- But you have a weird feeling that you two aren't heading towards the servant's living quarters, as you feel like you two are quite literally going in the opposite direction.

Oh but it's fine- Right?

It'll be fine. Surely. After all, he already took what he wanted from you, and he doesn't seem to need more so- You probably won't have to worry about anything right now, dinner time is already over, you can finally relax now….

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

So I'm sick again- Sorry y'all, I just have a horrible immune system and I really don't understand what is wrong with me-

I'm sorry if you didn't like this boo :(

[sortasirius]

“Despair” and Dean and Cas

Well well well, winning is my favorite thing.

As usual, this is going to be as long as hell. And fair warning, it’s extremely emotional.

So here it is, the thing that we have been barrelling towards for years, literally years.

Just want to point out this.  Also, I will NEVER allow someone to speak negatively about this writing group, EVER.

Team Free Dads starting off the episode is so sweet, so scary.  Cas’ calming, Dean’s fear, Sam’s desperation, really just hammering home how much they love Jack, how his pain is pain for them, how losing him is unbearable.

“I can’t stop this.  I’m coming apart.  I don’t want to hurt you.  Don’t let me hurt you.”

Oof.  If you’ve ever question whether Jack is a Winchester, this line should shut that shit down for you.

When I tell you I was PISSED when Billie sent Jack to the Empty to EXPLODE?????  PAIN.

“Yeah the Empty can’t come to earth, not without being summoned.”

Hello Bobo, clue number 1.

The fact that they only had Jack in limbo for like five seconds was great for my heart health, thank u very much Bobo.

Also Dean wielding Death’s scythe?????? KING?????

Man, Sam and Dean’s growth.  The way that they’re able to, idk, actually speak on how they feel without death looming or fear or pain.  It’s just a conversation, just an honest conversation of Dean admitting his mistakes, admitting how he felt.  Admitting that he fucked up, and Sam forgiving him for it.

CHARLIE AND HER GF CHARLIE AND HER GF CHARLIE AND HER GF

Also...hunters and their “dates.”  Two hunters who are happily together, who are happily fighting monsters.  Hm.  Sounds like a Saileen/Destiel parallel to me boys.

You ever wish Cas would look and the mirror and take the great advice he gives others?  Because I do.  He’s always tried to be “useful” for Sam and Dean, for Jack, always tried to make sure that he’s useful enough that they keep him around.  But what he doesn’t understand, what he’s never understood, is that they need him because of who he is, not because of what he contributes.

Remind y’all of anything?

And here we have Clue Number 2

And then, Sam’s realization.  Eileen.

Did I begin full tilt screaming no in my apartment when he said her name?  Who’s to say?

How can a lock screen cause me this much pain????

Okay but: Charlie loses Stevie, Sam loses Eileen.  Clue Number 3.

I feel like I don’t talk enough about how much Sam loves Eileen.  About how obvious it is that they are endgame, about how happy he is when he talks about her.  This just feels like a blow to the stomach, but we’ve barely even started.

Sam immediately shifting into protective leader mode?  He is the love of my life.

Dean’s simple nod, like it’s a given?  Enough to do me in right there.

This is another episode where it’s just so clear that Sam is the leader of the North American hunters.  Everyone knows him, everyone is willing to follow him.  He’s knowledgeable and kind and fair and just and an incredibly capable fighter.  Once again, I don’t believe his work on earth is done.

Can we also please talk about how FRIGHTENING IT WAS for Jack to kill that plant???  I don’t really have much of a comment on it because I was literally just like ?????

With Billie saying that it’s Chuck, the way that people were dusted, very similar to Becky and Amara, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised, especially with Donna getting taken off the board.  It’s like I said last week, I don’t buy that he’s taken himself off the board, he’s too invested in the unraveling of this story to take a step back.  He’s gotta break them before he can defeat them, that’s the only way.

And here we go, into one of the most painful and surreal things I will ever write about.

Dean’s speech.  His guilt, his regret.  The shame of not only trapping himself, but the pain, the horror of trapping Cas.

“I just lead us into another trap.  All because I, I couldn’t hurt Chuck.  Because I was angry and because I just needed something to kill, and because that’s all I know how to do.”

“Dean-”

“It was Chuck all along.  We never should have left Sam and Jack, we should be there with them now.  Everybody’s gonna die, Cas.  Everybody.  I can’t stop it.”

His narrative arc.  Tied up in a bow.

“She’s gonna get through that door.”

“I know.”

“And she’s gonna kill you and then she’s gonna kill me.  I’m sorry.”

Cas smiles.

Cas knows.  He knows what’ll get them out of this, and he knows that he would do anything in this Universe for Dean Winchester. The human man he fell for.

“When Jack was dying, I made a deal to save him.”

“You what?”

“The price was my life.  When I experienced a moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned and it would take me forever.”

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I’ve wondered what it could be, what my true happiness could even look like.  I never found an answer, because the one thing I want, it’s something I know I can’t have. 

“But I think I know, I think I know now...happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being.  It’s in just saying it.”

“What are you talking about, man?”

The most selfless thing Cas does in this, and he does a lot of selfless things, is to tell Dean Winchester how impossibly good he is.  To tell him that he is worthy, to tell him that he is adored.

“I know, I know how you see yourself, Dean.  You see yourself the same way our enemies see you.  You’re destructive and you’re angry and you’re broken and you’re daddy’s blunt instrument.  And you think that hate and anger, that’s what drives you, that’s who you are.  It’s not.  And everyone who knows you sees it, and everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love.  You raise your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love.  That is who you are.

“You’re the most caring man on earth.  You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know.  You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you outta Hell...knowing you has changed me.

“Because you cared, I cared.  I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you. 

“You changed me, Dean.”

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

Dean’s greatest fear. His fear of those loving him leaving him. The terror of being alone.

“Because it is.

The head shake.  Don’t love me.  Don’t love me if it means you’ll leave me, don’t love me, everyone I love leaves me.  Don’t leave me.  Don’t love me.  Don’t leave me.

“Don’t do this, Cas.”

Just like I always thought.  One last look at Dean before the Empty takes him.

“Cas-”

“Goodbye Dean.”

And Dean is left, broken on the floor, unable to answer Sam’s calls, unable to do anything.  It doesn’t matter to him that Chuck has wiped everyone out, it doesn’t matter to him that Sam and Jack might need him.  It doesn’t matter.  It doesn’t matter, because the thing that mattered still hangs on his lips, still waiting to be said, and now he won’t get another chance to say it.

The fact that I am writing this, even with all my spec, with all my analysis of the writers’ room, of their text, of the way Dabb and co had approached this story, nothing could have ever prepared me for this.  Nothing could have prepared me for a three and a half minute, uninterrupted scene where Cas confesses not only that he loves Dean, but that he has always loved him.

I talk a lot about how these writers don’t get the credit they deserve.  Unfortunately, from most of this fandom, they never will.  We will likely never know the fights with the network they had, the steps backward they had to take, the way they had to beg and fight and claw to get this on the screen.  But they did it.  They did it for these characters, they did it for this dinosaur of a show, and yeah, they did it for us.

It was not easy, I can promise you, to get this greenlit.  They had to fight for this, they likely had to call in favors and make threats and quite literally put their careers on the line (you may scoff at that, but WB is a BIG company, especially in the TV/movie world) for this story.  This story of Dean and Cas, the man dragged out of Hell and the angel who fell for him.

I have tons more to say, and will likely have several more posts about this, but I want to leave all my babes who are worried that that was the end for Dean and Cas with some takeaways.

Sam is missing Eileen.  Dean is missing Cas.  That is no longer a fun subtextual parallel, that is it for them.  Their respective endgames are missing, and they will not know their peace until they get them back.  Chuck will not win.  That’s not the story being told, and right now?  He’s winning.  He’s broken them, left them with nothing, left them with an empty world and a hole in each of their hearts where their person (or angel) used to be.

Our show is going to end with “contentment.”  “Contentment” isn’t from Sam and Dean being filled with grief and hitting the open road.  It isn’t Sam getting Eileen back and leaving Dean with no one.  “Contentment” is Sam and Eileen, Dean and Cas.  Together.

[bts-reveries]

you’ll always be my baby

characters/pairings: Namjoon and Moonji (ft. OC!Byul, Hyesung, Yoongi)

genre: family and fluff

request: [@kookietsukkie​] one of the kids’ jealous moments of their siblings! i was thinking either moonji or hana (cause i feel like they’re both pretty pampered by joon and yoongi). how at times they feel like their parents attention are too much on their new sibling… something like that!

a/n: this is more sentimental than what i thought of before i started lol but idk what i expected, this is what happens to all the tmbmil namjoon drabbles i write

thank you again for the request bestie!!

➳➳➳➳➳➳➳

“Hyesungie, Hyesungie~” Yoongi cooed, reaching out and tickling the baby’s belly as Namjoon carried her. She smiled, twisting her body away from Yoongi’s fingers. “Aigoo, she’s getting so big now.” 

“I know right,” Namjoon says, fixing his daughter’s hat. “I hate it.” Yoongi laughs at his younger brother’s comment and shrugs.

“Well, you just have to make the most of it now,” he says, punching in the numbers on the register, telling Namjoon his total right after. They were buying some pastries at the bakery for a little family picnic. “Where’s Byul and Moonji at anyways?”

“Oh, they’re waiting in the car,” Namjoon answers. “Moonji fell asleep on the way here.”

“Ah. Long night?” Yoongi asks, assuming that she wasn’t able to sleep well the night before considering it’s just about 9 in the morning.

“Yeah. Baby sister kept her up. Well, kept all of us up,” Namjoon says sheepishly. Hyesung looks up at him, not knowing what he was saying. 

“She knows you’re talking about her,” Yoongi points out, laughing a bit. Namjoon makes a face at his daughter, making her laugh. 

“Alright, well we should be going now. Byul is probably wondering what’s taking us long,” Namjoon says, grabbing the bag Yoongi was handing to him.

“Alright, we’ll just talk again later. Maybe have a playdate for the kids,” Yoongi says, waving them off.

“Okay, I’ll see you soon hyung!”

-

“Daddy did you get me a cake pop too?” Moonji asks, looking over her little sister who’s gnawing on one in her carseat. Namjoon’s eyebrows raise and his mouth forms a letter ‘o’. 

“You forgot didn’t you,” Byul says quietly, glaring at her husband from the passenger’s seat. 

“Yoongi and I were talking and Hyesung grabbed it from the counter,” Namjoon shrugs. “Uh,” he says louder to Moonji behind him. “I forgot to get another one sweetie, you can just share with your sister. She’s not going to eat all of it anyways.” Moonji turns to her baby sister, frowning.

“But daddy she’s slobbering all over it,” Moonji argues. 

“Well we’re not near the bakery anymore, so either you share with her or not,” Namjoon tells her, turning into the parking lot of the park. “It’s your choice sweetie.”

“Fine, I just won’t eat one then,” she says with a small pout. 

“We can just go to the bakery again on the way home, okay baby?” Byul says, turning around to face her daughter. Moonji nods at her.

-

“Look baby,” Namjoon says, holding Hyesung in his arms. “Pretty flower.” He hands the little flower to her and she grabs it with her chubby little hands. “D-don’t eat it,” Namjoon says, stopping her arms from going up and shoving the flower into her mouth. 

“Daddy used to do that with me,” Moonji says, watching her dad and sister from afar. She sat on the picnic blanket with her mom. Byul looks over at them as well. 

“You can go over there and join them,” she suggests, looking back at her oldest daughter. “I’ll stay here.” Moonji shakes her head no, watching as her dad laughed at Hyesung waving the flower around. 

“Do you want me to come with you then? We could join them together,” Byul says. Moonji shakes her head no once again.

“He won’t notice me anyways,” Moonji says, resting her chin on the top of her knees. Byul frowns. She knows that Moonji was an only child for a while and that she always had her dad’s attention on her and only her. Even when she came into their lives. 

Getting a new sibling is a huge adjustment. 

“Are you upset that daddy pays more attention to Hyesung now?” Byul asks, trying to communicate with her daughter. She doesn’t want Moonji to keep things to herself whenever she’s upset. Especially if it’s something they can fix together.

Moonji nods. “He doesn’t love me as much anymore, it makes me sad.” Byul immediately reaches out for her.

“Come here,” she says. Moonji turns to her and crawls right into her arms.

“Daddy loves you just as much as he loves Hyesung. He didn’t forget about you, sweetie. I’m sorry if it makes you feel like he did,” Moonji nods, snuggling in closer to her mom’s chest. “We never want either of you to feel sad because of us so if something ever makes you sad, you should communicate it with us okay? You want me to come with you to talk to daddy?”

Moonji nods her head. 

“Okay, let’s go to them then.” Right when the two get up, Namjoon walks up towards them.

“Hi mommy, hi unnie,” Namjoon says, waving Hyesung’s empty hand. “Look what daddy and baby sister got you two.” Namjoon bends Hyesung down to Byul’s level, and she gives her a flower. 

“Aww, is this for me?” Byul says. “Thank you baby,” she says, giving her daughter a peck on the nose, making her giggle.

“Now one for Unnie,” Namjoon says, bending Hyesung lower. Moonji smiles slightly as her baby sister hands her a daisy. 

“Thank you Hyesungie,” she says in a soft voice. 

“Okay, so it's my turn with baby sister,” Byul says, reaching out to her daughter. Namjoon pouts at her. “And I think big sister wants to have a talk with daddy,” she says, turning to Moonji. She nods her head, basically saying it’s okay for her to go and leave her alone with her dad. 

“I’ll see you two later,” Byul says, leaning down and pressing a kiss to Moonji’s head. “Bye,” she mouths at Namjoon before kissing his cheek. Namjoon looked stunned, turning to his wife and watching her walk away with his baby. He then looks down at his older daughter.

“Okay, I’m kind of scared,” he says, walking over to the blanket and having a seat. “What did you want to talk about?” He asks his daughter, motioning for her to come sit with him. “Did anything happen at school? D-do you have a boyfriend now too?” He asks hesitantly, knowing how two of his hyungs are both currently in distress about their little girls having a ‘boyfriend.’

Moonji raises an eyebrow at him. “Ew, that’s yucky.” Namjoon released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“Good. Now what is it? What’s wrong?” 

Moonji shrugs, “Mommy told me to talk to you because I’m sad.” Namjoon suddenly had a concerned look on his face as soon as he heard the last two words. 

“Why are you sad? What happened?”

“I feel sad because you love Hyesung more than me now,” Moonji says quietly, looking down and playing with the fabric of her pants. “Mommy said you love both of us the same, but you always play with Hyesung now and not me.” Namjoon’s heart breaks when he hears this, reaching out for Moonji’s hand.

“I don’t love Hyesung more than you. Just like I don’t love mommy more than her. I love all of you just the same. But in different ways.” He tells her. “I love mommy because she loves me and you and she gave us Hyesung. I love your birth mommy because she loved me and gave me you. I love you because you helped me become who I am today and I couldn’t have gotten here without you. And I love baby sister because now you have someone to play with and you’re not lonely when mommy is busy at home or when daddy is working.” Moonji looks up at her dad, listening to every single word he’s saying and really trying to understand them. “I love all of you just the same in different ways just like how you love hot chocolate because it keeps you warm when it’s cold and lemonade because it keeps you cool when it’s hot.” Moonji smiles up at her dad as he says this. He always did talk like he was writing a book. “Long story short,” Namjoon says with a slight laugh. “Daddy loves all of you and I’m so sorry if it makes you feel like I don’t sometimes.” He tugs at her hand, making her come and sit on his lap so he could hug her. “I know you’re used to it being just us your whole life. Then mommy Byul came along and it took some adjusting but you got used to it right, and you love her here with us?” Moonji nodded her head, her cheek pressed against her dad’s chest as his arms were wrapped around her. “Then now, baby sister came. And we’re all getting used to another person in our lives. It’s going to take some more adjusting.” Moonji nods again.

“Sometimes I watch you and Hyesung do stuff we used to do and it makes me sad because I felt like you were going to just do it with her and not me anymore.”

“No, daddy will never replace you. I’m showing them to Hyesung so we can all do it together, but you never want to come with us.”

“Because I feel like you want to just do it with her and you don’t want me there..” Moonji says with a pout. 

“I see, and I stopped asking you because whenever I ask, you say no. This is why communication is important, right?” Namjoon says. “You don’t tell me how you feel, that's why I keep doing the things that make you feel sad. You need to tell me so we can change that.”

“Okay,” Moonji says. “I will.”

“Okay, good. You know baby sister keeps mommy and I busy because she’s still little, which is why we might seem like we spend more time with her than you. So I’ll talk to mommy and we’ll make sure to set aside extra time to have Moonji and daddy time or Moonji and mommy time, how’s that sound?” Namjoon suggests, looking down at his daughter. Moonji looks up at him and nods her head, a sweet smile on her face. “Okay, maybe we can start with a date at the bakery after this? We can get you your cake pop and get a milkshake with two straws like we used to.” Moonji gasps, making her dad laugh. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Thank you daddy. You’re the best and I love you so much,” Moonji tells him, wrapping her arms tightly around him. At least as much as her little arms can go. 

Namjoon sighs, Moonji was doing what she does best and that was melting his heart into two.

“I love you more. You’ll always be my baby, my little Moonji.”

[let-me-luve-you]

Don’t Be Clingy

Tom Holland x Sister

Summary: Being Tom’s little sister means getting to go visit the Spider-Man set. You want to spend as much time with Tom as possible, but everyone else don’t think you should. 

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, cussing, Rude af brother and spiderman cast, Tom being the best big brother ever

A/N: I don’t think Harry or Zendaya or Jacob or any of the Spider-Man cast would actually act like this. It’s just for the story. Also, I just googled Smok’d. Idk the age limits in England. If I’m wrong, just pretend for the story. 

MASTERLIST

With Tom filming Far From Home mostly in London, it means you get to go to set often. Kevin Feige had met you on multiple occasions and he knew you wouldn’t tell any Marvel secrets. He allowed you to come to the set whenever. Unlike the rest of your family, they could only come on certain days.

You loved being able to watch the movie be made. The whole process blew your mind. You are only ten years old and you already knew that you wanted to make movies when you were older. Tom loved having you on set. You were this ball of energy and when he needed a little pick me up, he would talk to you about what you had learned and what you thought worked and didn’t work. He would always listen and if you said an idea, he would usually mention it to Jon to see what he saw. A few of your ideas were actually going to be in the movie.

This was the last week that the cast and crew were going to be in London before they ventured off to other countries. They flew out on Tuesday to go to Berlin. Tom was kind of disappointed he had to leave his home and family, especially you, but he knew he would be back once the movie was done filming.

It was Friday afternoon and the cast was almost done for the day. You were sitting in Tom’s chair watching the final scene being filmed. Between takes you could hear Tom and Jacob talking about going out to dinner tonight. You knew you had to ask Tom if you could join. You watched Harry walk over to Tom and Jacob while they fixed the lighting.

“Where are we going tonight? First rounds on me.” Harry said.

“Thinking maybe we could go to Smok’d and then maybe find another pub.” Tom said.

“Sounds good to me. You know where the best places are.” Jacob said. “We can get everyone else to join us too.

“Okay. Ready on set.” Jon said. Harry looked over to him and nodded before walking off set. Tom and Jacob getting back into character. The scene filmed on for another thirty minutes. When it was over, Tom walked over to you and held a hand out to help you down from his chair.

“You have fun today bug?” Tom asked you as he guided you to his trailer.

“I did.” You beamed at him. “I wish I could go with you to Berlin.”

“Mum and Dad are flying out when we go to Venice. They are using it as a minivacation, but I’ll tell them to bring you and you can stay with me and come to set with us.” Tom said. He moved to the bedroom part of the trailer to change out of his Peter Parker clothes. When he was in his own clothes, he walked out and asked, “ready to go home?”

You nodded and followed him out. When you walked out of his trailer you saw Jacob, Harry, Zendaya, Jake, and Angourie standing in a circle talking. “Can I go with you to dinner tonight?” You asked Tom as you walked up to the group. The whole group heard you and you saw the awkward glances of everyone.

“No Y/N. You’re going home.” Harry said flatly. “We don’t need to babysit a kid on our last Friday night in town.” Tom gave him a what the heck look before he turned to you.

“What Harry means to say is, we are going to do adult stuff tonight. It would be safer if you stayed home.” Tom said with a gentle voice.

“But I want to hangout with everyone. I’ll be good I promise.” You begged. Everyone stood awkwardly and watched the oldest Holland and youngest talk it through.

“I know you would, but you need to be 18 to get into here.” Tom said. “You’re eight years short of that.” Tom grabbed you by the shoulder and led you away from the group. When they thought you were out of ear shot Harry spoke up.

“She’s so clingy. Hopefully Tom can distract her so she’ll leave us alone tonight.” Harry said with a laugh. The whole group laughed with him. “I can’t stand when she’s always around. That’s why I always travel with Tom.”

“Come on man. That’s your sister.” Zendaya said. “But you’re right. Tom’s been too nice to her and letting her come around too much.”

“Yeah. Doesn’t she have Barbies or something to play with? Why is she always here. I’d hate to be Tom and have a shadow following me when I’m trying to do my job.” Jacob said.

Everyone kept talking about you and it broke your heart. You fought the tears that were wanting to escape. Tom also heard these things. He felt you tense up next to him. He looked down at you not knowing what to say. You refused to look up. You found your shoes way more interesting.

“Is mum here yet?” You asked quietly. Worried if you spoke louder that you would start crying.

Tom looked around the lot and saw Nikki talking with a guard. “Yeah. She’s over there. But list-” You ignored Tom and walked away from him. He was shocked you didn’t even say goodbye. “Y/N come back here.” He said chasing you down and grabbing you by the arm to stop you. “Look, what they said back there, it wasn’t okay. I’m going to let them know that.”

“I’ll talk to you later.” You said yanking your arm from Tom’s grasp. He watched you walk to your mum and hop in the back of the car. Nikki looked over at Tom with a confused look. When she saw the pain in her eldest son’s eyes, she knew today wasn’t a good day for you.

Tom walked back over to the group. He was pissed at what Harry had said. Pissed at what his friends had said. As he got closer he realized he needed to cool off some before he said something he didn’t mean. He kept walking towards his trailer and Harry called out to him.

“Yo div. Are you coming with us or driving yourself?” Tom ignored him and slammed the door of his trailer. He started to pace the length of it when Harry barged in. “Dude. What’s up with you? Y/N say she hates you or something?”

“No.” Tom said shortly.

“Okay? What’s your problem? You were fine just before that whole situation.” Harry said.

“You really had to say those things about Y/N?” Tom asked, finally looking at his younger brother.

“I didn’t mean anything by them. I was just joking around.” Harry said defensively.

“She’s hurt, man. You started something that got everyone else involved. Y/N will never want to come to another set again. She thinks the whole cast hates her and thinks she's annoying.” Tom said, starting to raise his voice.

“She doesn’t need to come to set so much anyway.” Harry said, acting like he didn’t hear anything else.

“Dude..” Tom said with disgust. “She’s our sister. She loves us. I love her. I want her around. This is the only set she can come to because this movie is kid friendly. I’m going into movies after this that she won’t be able to visit, which means months without seeing her in person unless I fly from the US back home on a weekend.”

“I know, but all this hollywood stuff is too much for her.” Harry said.

“Have you even talked to her when she’s been here?” Tom asked. Harry shook his head no. Saying he was too busy working. “She’s observant as fuck. She’s seeing things that Jon isn’t. She’s told me things between takes and I’ve mentioned them to Jon and he has used the ideas. I don’t know when you started to think she was a thorn in your side, but you need to apologize to her.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong.” Harry stormed to the door. “Catch your own ride to Smok’d. We will see you there.” Harry paused halfway out the door, “And check the attitude.”

Tom sighed as he fell back onto the couch. He was so frustrated at Harry for not seeing what he did to you. Tom knew he had to make it right, so he got up and went to his car. He drove straight to your favorite restaurant and got your favorite meals and desserts.

Driving home, you stayed silent. You didn’t want to cry from the rude words you heard. You definitely didn’t want your mum to see you cry and get mad at Tom. So the whole 45 minute drive, you stared out the window.

“Y/N, can you tell me what happened?” Nikki asked gently. She looked in the rearview mirror and saw you shake your head no. She sighed and decided to leave it for now. When she pulled into the drive, you immediately went up to your room and slammed the door. You weren’t supposed to lock it, but you did anyway. You fell onto your bed and finally let the tears fall down your face.

“I thought we had a couple of more years before she started acting like this.” Dom said, trying to make a joke.

“She didn’t have a good day. She wouldn’t tell me what happened. Tom looked upset too, so I’m not sure. I’m going to give him a ring.” She said, setting her purse onto the kitchen counter and took her phone out. Tom answered after a couple of rings.

“Hey mum.” He said with a sigh.

“Tom, dear, what happened today?” She asked.

“She wanted to go to Smok’d with us.” Tom answered honestly.

“She can’t get in there.”

“I know. I was trying to explain it to her, but almost the whole cast was standing there so I pulled her away. As we were walking away, things were said about her being clingy.” Nikki gasped as she heard people were talking ill of her daughter. “I tried to tell her it wasn’t true, but she walked off before I could get it through her head. I’m getting her food right now and headed over.”

“Tom, that’s sweet of you, but maybe give her the night to calm down. She’s really upset. How about just drop the food off with us and we will give it to her. You can go to Smok’d with everyone else.”

“Maybe. I’m not really in the mood to go out now. Especially after my fight with Harry.” Tom said. He cringed wanting to keep Harry out of this with his mum.

“What about Harry? Why did you two fight?”

“Nothing. Just a rough day is all. I’ll see you in a few, mum.” Tom said, hanging up before she even got another word in. He knew he would pay for it, but he was fine to take any punishment. After fifteen minutes, he pulled into his parents’ driveway. He stared at the house trying to gather the courage to face his protective mum and his hurt little sister. He finally got out and reached into the backseat for the bag full of goodies. He walked into the house and walked straight for the kitchen.

“What did you and Harry fight about?” Nikki asked when he walked in. He sighed.

“He said some hurtful things and thinks she’s overreacting. Thinks she has no business on the set anyways. I got mad at him because his words started everyone else's.” Tom said.

“What?” Nikki asked, shocked.

“I know. Where is she? I want to go talk to her.” Tom said looking in the living room.

“She’s in her room. Hasn’t come out since she got home.” Nikki said pointing to the stairs. “But I really think you should let her calm down a bit. Go out with the cas-”

“I don’t want to see any of them right now. I have to make sure Y/N is okay.” Tom said with pleading eyes. Nikki whispered okay and nodded her head for him to head up. She was proud of Tom for caring for his sister. She was happy she raised him to care for others.

Tom walked slowly up the stairs. When he got to your door he could hear your quiet cries. His heart hurt hearing it knowing he shouldn’t have ever let it get to this point. He should have called Harry and everyone else out on their shit the second he heard it. Tom tried the door and noticed it was locked. Tom knew about the strict no locking the door rule because he was the reason for it. He knocked and waited for an answer.

Tom heard the cries stop. Like his sister was muffling it with her hands. He knew she was hoping whoever was at the door, they would leave. “Y/N/N baby, please let me in.” Tom said. He didn’t hear any movement. “Please. I have a surprise for you.” Again nothing. “That’s it. Y/F/N Y/M/N, you know you aren’t supposed to lock this door, so let me in before I get dad.” That did it. Tom heard you get off your bed before he heard the lock unclick.

He tried the door again after a second and when he walked in he saw you in bed with the covers over your head. He walked over and gently sat next to you. He put his hand on your shoulder and turned you to face him. He pulled the covers down and saw the broken look on your face.

“Go away.” You whispered and tried to turn away from him again. He wouldn’t allow it.

“I’m not going anywhere. I want to have a movie night. I have all your favorites for dinner. Even got desserts.” He said trying to bribe you.

“Keep it. Throw it away. I don’t want it.” You said not looking at him.

“Come on. I can’t apologize for what they said, only they can. But I can say what they said isn’t true. I love that you are on set. You are the pick me up I need between takes. You are seeing these things for the first time and you bring new light to it. I told Jon all of your ideas. He’s using a lot of them. Did you notice that?” Tom asked, pushing some of your hair out of your face.

You shook your head no. “I love having you there. I really do. You make it so much better. When you aren’t there, it’s just a job. When you are, I can share that experience with you and we can discuss things. I love having you on set. If Harry wasn’t helping the crew, I would exchange him for you.”

“Hey now.” You turned towards the door to see Harry.

“Why are you here?” Tom asked him.

“You never showed. Came to check on you.” Harry said before turning to you. “Also came to apologize. What I said wasn’t true. It was rude.”

“No. You don’t like me.” You said with a pout. “That’s why you are always gone.”  

“No it’s not. I just said that as a joke. It was a bad joke and it was horrible to say. I shouldn’t have said it. I love having you around. I get to watch you grow into this beautiful young girl. I just wanted a night with our crew where we could do whatever and not have to worry about you.” Harry said kneeling beside your bed.

“I’m sorry I always tag along. I won’t do it again.” You said look from Harry to Tom.

“No, no, no, no.” Tom was quick to say. “We want you around. We love taking you out to dinner with the cast, but sometimes, we need to be able to do some things without you. It isn’t because we don’t want you around, it’s because we just want to let loose of responsibilities for a little bit.”

“It’s like when you go into your treehouse to read. You just want to be away from things.” Harry added.

“Oh. I think I understand it now.” You said.

“I’ll always love you. You’re my best friend.” Tom said leaning over to kiss your forehead.

“Can you do me a favor?” You asked looking from both brothers. They both nodded. “Go out to Smok’d. Have fun with your friends. I’ll stay here and eat all the food Tom bought me.”

“No, I can’t do th-” Tom said before you interrupted.

“You can hangout with me this weekend before you go. Go join the cast for a fun night. I promise I’m no longer upset.” You said. “Please, for me?” You begged. Both Tom and Harry sighed before looking at each other.

“On one condition.” Tom said. You looked at him confused. “Come stay with me until I leave. Sam can cook us food and we can watch movies, go to the arcade, or do whatever you want. We can even build a fort in the living room like we did a few months ago.”

You smiled widely at Tom’s one request. “Okay. Yeah. Maybe mum can run me to the store so I can get us snacks.” Tom laughed as you started planning. “Now please go have fun. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You said hugging Harry before hugging Tom.

“Okay, we’ll go now. Go eat that food I bought. I don’t want it to go to waste.” Tom said as he stood up to follow Harry out the door. “Love you Y/N.”

“Love you too Tom.” You said with a smile.

[i-simp-for-gintoki]

Sanji and Ace meeting fem!s/o’s parents for the first time

I accidentally deleted the request like the idiot i am, so basically it was “Ace and Sanji meeting their fem!s/o’s parents for the first time, but the s/o gets upset at an embarrasing/mean thing the parents said towards her boyfriend(s)”

Sorry for the long wait! Time flew by way faster than i thought it would and i really struggled with this lmao. Hope this is to your liking! If not just let me know and i’ll do my best to fix it!

I didn’t rlly know how to end these im sorry, um i made sanji’s more angsty than needed because i just did but oh well

Warnings: like one swear word, your dad is kinda a dick and disapproving of your relationship in sanji’s

Portgas D. Ace

He would not dress up, instead simply putting on an unbuttoned shirt instead of remaining shirtless

He might- might take off the hat but thats only if you REALLY want him too

I think he would be pretty relaxed about meeting your parents

You on the other hand was not

I mean dont get me wrong Ace is a sweetheart and all, but he also can be pretty gross without meaning too

You two were planning on heading to your parent’s house so Ace could finally meet them, so in the meantime you told him to keep a few promises

“No using anyones clothing as napkins, finish chewing before talking, and if they say something that annoys you please don’t fight them.”

He’d give you a thumbs up and a smile as he said he’d keep the promise

So here you guys are, in front of where your parents lived

Knocking on the door, it only took a few seconds for them to show up

As Ace introduced himself he bowed and had a bright smile

Your parents smiled back and let you two in

So far so good

All of you were just relaxing in the living room, your parents sat across from where you and Ace sat

Your parents listened as Ace told a bunch of stories about his life, it mainly consisted of the trouble he’d get in with his brothers or how he met and fell in love with you but he was having fun sharing them

Your parents seemed to be enjoying his company and that made you happy

After talking for a while your mother decided to make a quick meal for everyone in which Ace asked if he could help a bit

Your dad decided to put him in charge of setting the table

He had almost dropped a plate in the process but he got it done and wore a proud smile

It wasn’t long until you guys began to ate and you could tell Ace was definitely holding back from how he usually acted

“Whats the point of forks when i can grab it so much faster using my hands?” he mumbled to no one in particular

What really surprised you was that he made sure to properly chew his food before speaking

You were really happy that he was keeping his word but sadly all good things come to an end

“Wow! Mrs.L/n your food is really--”

THUNK

He passed out.

He passed out face first into his plate and your parents could only stare

You could only sigh as you tilted his face so he doesn’t manage to suffocate

“Oh my, is he okay?” your mom asked in a worried tone and you nodded your head

“Ah yeah he’s fine. Hes a narcoleptic thats all. He’ll wake up any moment”

And not even a few seconds later, Ace straightened up and continued eating like nothing even happened

Your mother laughed

“Oh wow! He reminds me of a baby!”

“Mom!”

He rose a brow at the two of you, unaware of what you were talking about, food still smeared onto his face

You clicked your tongue and grabbed a napkin before wiping his face

“See he is like a little kid” she repeated and you rolled your eyes in response

Ace’s eyes widened a bit as he finally understood what happened

“Did I pass out again?”

“You passed out again.”

He rubbed the back of his head and gave an apology to your mom who in return laughed loudly

“Oh no worries dear, when y/n was younger she would pull countless all nighters and end up doing the same thing”

“Mooom stop it”

“Oh shush this is all light hearted fun”

As your dad started a separate conversation, Ace grabbed your hand under the table and smiled

He was having fun, even if you guys were being teased

Vinsmoke Sanji

Idk how i feel about this one rip

He was a bit nervous yet excited

He couldn't wait to meet the people who raised you, but he was worried if they wouldn’t like him

He chose to wear one of his best suits and cologne despite your protests

“Sanji its just my parents, you don’t need to be any more fancy than usual” “Nonsense, i should take it seriously so your parents can see im serious about you.”

He’d insist on making dinner for them

Once your parents arrive he puts on a charming smile and introduces himself

Skip to dinner, Sanji made sure to sit everyone down and serve them

Some nice small talk was made when suddenly one of your parents asks him if Sanji truly loves you

An instant “of course!” was heard from Sanji before he started listing hundreds of things he loves about you

Honestly he said a bit much since he strayed off from personality and perks to more your physical appearance and more

You had to kick his leg under the table to get him to stop

Your dad put his fork down and looked at you

“I don’t want you dating him”

“Can i ask why?” you ask

“Sounds to me your boyfriend is simply a pervert. He’s probably just after your body”

Now this Sanji got upset at but you acted first

“Seriously?? Did you listen to anything he said just now? Yeah he appreciates my looks but he clearly loves me for who i am, do you only hear things that make you upset or something?”

You were hoping it would stop right there but no, of course your dad had to say some more huh

“Isn’t he just some chef anyways? Its not like they make a bunch of money, he’s probably mooching off of you”

You stood up so fast your chair was knocked down

“How dare you say that about Sanji? Hes not just some chef, he’s one of the best out there. That doesn’t even matter actually, good chef, bad chef, he would NEVER mooch off of someone. Using people, especially women is completely against his character! Sanji has been nothing but nice to you tonight, and here you are completely shitting on him!”

You huff and wave your hand, mumbling how you wanted some fresh air before heading outside

It was only a few seconds before Sanji joined you

“How are you doing love?” He’d ask and you’d whirl around and face him in surprise

“How am I doing? Sanji they were saying bad things about you! Im SO sorry about that, my dads usually not that much of an asshole and-anyways, How are you doing??”

He’d chuckle and assure you he’s fine

“I’m not gonna lie, i was pretty upset when he said i was using you for my own gain. But seeing you stand up for me, getting upset for me really warmed my heart.”

He’d give you a hug while slowly rubbing your back

“But what do i do about him not approving? What if he says to break up??” you ask and sanji tilts your chin up towards him

“Who cares? We are all adults here, its not like his disapproval will suddenly stop the love we have for each other.”

You slowly nod at his words and he smiles before giving you a quick kiss

“Now lets head back in and finish dinner” “Oh but its going to be so awkward now”  you complain but you still walk with him back inside

When you guys return to the table, your mother shoves your dads shoulder which made him stand and walk up to Sanji

Before the blond can open his mouth, your dad is already apologizing

“Look, Im sorry about what I said. It was harsh and based on my daughters reaction, clearly untrue. I just dont like to see my kid grow up, much less dating someone. Just promise me one thing, Sanji. Promise me you wont break her heart” he says putting a hand out

Sanji gave him a nod and a firm handshake.

“I promise. I would never be able to live with myself if I did”

[toujourspur13]

The Black family / Walburga Black / canon.

As I said before I do not care that much about canon/fanon/headcanon because transformative works by definition include a wide variety of different interpretations. However, I am forever perplexed when I see uncompromising opinions on the Black family - particularly the unwavering certainty that Sirius Black’s parents were psychotic abusers. All personal opinions aside - why is this so popular?

I mean - it’s absolutely ok to headcanon this version and to play with it - but saying 'don’t you dare say they did not physically and emotionally abuse Sirius' is a little strong, isn’t it?

This is a mystery to me. So…let’s discuss my favourite subject…Again.

Let’s stick to the facts. The frequently cited things proving the abuse in the Black family are as follows:

Sirius said his parents were awful maniacs (pureblood ideology)

he ran away from home

he was severely depressed in OoTP

Kreacher

Portrait

So…when you say that Sirius’s parents were abusive…you mean exactly what? These people got cold feet when they saw the real nature of Voldemort - I guess it somehow implies that they did not share his methods…that they were against violence as a tool to get purebloods in charge.

But then it usually goes this way: ‘well at least he was verbally and emotionally abused by his family’ - but is it so? Is this based on the portrait of Sirius's mother? She insulted strangers who took over her house and her runaway son - how does this prove anything about how Sirius and Regulus were raised and treated when they were kids? I agree it’s rather impolite - jkr did a good job showing how purebloods perceived others ( those below them) -but in all honesty, this has very little to do with Sirius and his childhood.

Why to make Sirius a victim at all? - c’mon he was tougher than this, he spent 12 years in Azkaban; are you actually saying that a portrait throwing insults at everyone is worse? I doubt that. And is it such a surprise that a mother who lost her son (that said son actually ran away and abandoned his duty) would be that furious at him when seeing him again...even if it’s only a portrait...I believe it to be a rather unpleasant experience for a parent when a child runs away.

We already talked about the portrait a lot - I don’t even want to mention it here- - I feel we should rather pay more attention to the fact that Sirius himself was not an angel.

I am not saying the colourful vocabulary of Walburga Black should be used…but Sirius himself upon seeing Snape  immediately  recognised his weakness and went for it without any hesitation …we are talking about Sirius who in fact was quite a renowned bully ( I mean - we know for a fact that from time to time Sirius and James got carried away)…

And it was Sirius who sent Snape to meet and chat with a real werewolf (yes, I agree - he was not thinking this through - he probably was just vexed and fed up with Snape and thought he wouldn’t go there, would get cold feet or idk run away…But it actually changes nothing. If a drunken driver hits someone it will be 100% his fault whether he means it or not. Whether he is in a fragile mental state or not - such situations are definite. It’s the same with Sirius - even if he did not mean anything bad he should have understood the cost of his mistake - all teenagers make silly things but not all of them send their classmate to meet a werewolf - James thought it not a very good idea as I recall… -

So we see that Sirius was not an angel from the start and I can hardly believe he was a victim by nature. His behaviour loudly manifested that he used to get what he wanted with no thought of the consequences.

And all those pictures of bikini-clad girls on the walls in his room prove that he was quite a spoiled boy who had nothing to fear from mum and dad. Harry himself noticed «Sirius seemed to have gone out of his way to annoy his parents». All this shows that Sirius was not afraid of his parents at all. What kind of masochist would suffer for motorbike posters? That would be ridiculous.

Let’s move to Kreacher: If Sirius’s mother had been a monster why even mention her heart?  JKR wrote this for a purpose and this heavily implies that Sirius's situation was never meant to be ‘the abusive heartless parents vs the poor helpless victim’.  

The fact that Sirius ran away and hence broke his mother’s heart says against the popular idea that he was not loved by his family, that he was always the second one, that they abused him. I’m 100% certain that Kreacher told the truth in that scene. Why would he say something like this if it were not the truth - something like…that his beloved mistress having been so upset over Sirius running away that it broke her heart. Just tell me one reason that would have justified such a lie - why to say this at all?

Then this: “Leave?” Sirius smiled bitterly and ran a hand through his long, unkempt hair. “Because I hated the whole lot of them: my parents, with their pure-blood mania, convinced that to be a Black made you practically royal … my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them … that’s him.”…. “He was younger than me,” said Sirius, “and a much better son, as I was constantly reminded.”

I’ve already said it before - this ‘better son than me’ is exactly what insecure 14-year old kids like to say. Well...he’s a bit older but it’s not as if he had a life and a chance to mature. Moreover, I don’t know if it comes as a great shock but a lot of teenagers like to badmouth their parents…usually, it involves something like ‘those bloody uptight retrogrades know nothing of the real world’ (it fades away when they get closer to thirty).

To be serious, I find that it’s just another example of similarities between Sirius and his mother. They clearly did not know what it means to be composed, polite, and respectful. Yeah…I think that, on the whole, parents are owed their children’s respect (unless they are completely inadequate - somehow I don’t believe this was the case). Someone should teach both of them what mutual respect means. Anyway, there is nothing in this quote that says that Sirius was subjected to any forms of abuse - it’s about how Sirius justified his running away,  how he saw the situation.

There’s also the fact that Sirius was incredibly unhappy because he was back at his childhood home and having to spend time around anything that reminded him of his family: “Hasn’t anyone told you? This was my parents’ house,” said Sirius. “But I’m the last Black left, so it’s mine now. I offered it to Dumbledore for headquarters — about the only useful thing I’ve been able to do.” Harry, who had expected a better welcome, noted how hard and bitter Sirius’s voice sounded”.

Here it comes…the severe depression that makes people question the severity of his abuse… I have thought a lot about this because it is the reason why some consider ‘the abusive blacks' canon while others believe it was more of a tragedy of the family rather than the banal brutality.

Of course, Sirius was upset in that house - but I don’t think he suffered the memories of his unhappy childhood - I think he suffered from the strong feeling of guilt. Being in that house meant an everyday reminder that he was a failure. And it’s not even a lie. If you look at his whole life you’ll see that he literally failed everyone in his life: he failed James and Lily - they were dead and he unwillingly became the reason. It was his plan that turned everything into a tragedy.

And, to some extent, he failed Harry- he was not around him like James and Lily would have wanted. Sirius did not give him the real family - he only promised they'd be the one «when it’s all over».

And finally - he failed his parents, his brother, his own family.

Is it possible to live with so much guilt in your heart?

I don't think that Sirius completely forgot who he was born to be. If the family keeps traditions and can trace its existence back in centuries you can't shake it off even if you want. I doubt Sirius switched it off just because he had griffindor friends. He was the last Black - it is tragically poetic that he was once the hope of his family and then this family died with him. If Sirius had heart (and I truly believe he had a heart) he knew exactly what it meant to be trapped in the house that represented the death of his family. A constant reminder  that he was the last one.  

“The others’ hushed voices were giving Harry an odd feeling of foreboding; it was as though they had just entered the house of a dying person”. 

I think that the scene when he threw his father's ring away - he threw it away because it was all over for his family. It was the end of the dynasty - and for him it was all over long before he met Bellatrix for the last time.

Well, I admit Sirius' situation is open for wide interpretation but I don’t think the abusive black household is a canon thing - of course, it’s fanon. It makes Sirius a hero who broke the chains when in fact he ended up being a victim of his own life.

You know, it always seems strange to me that fandom when discussing Walburga usually overlooks the simple truth of life - that even if you are clever enough and mean good for your loved ones it is still possible to end up on the losing side, on the dark side.  However, mistakes don't automatically turn humans into monsters.

To some extent Sirius’s story represents the consequences of war.  No-one is protected; the whole families could be wiped off the face of the earth. It’s a simple yet profound idea. It correlates with the main idea of hp books far better than the ‘abusive psychopaths’ (there are already Voldemort and Bellatrix - there is no-one who can beat them in this department).

All I say - it’s okay to imagine them bad if you want- your right - but don’t write everywhere that it’s canon because it is not.There is no need for such inflexibility especially when it comes to the fandom - a place where everyone should be welcomed and their views on the books be respected.

[sweeethinny]

He and Harry had a fight last week... James said he didn’t like him anymore.’’ Ginny looked at her mother, looking a little sadder now. ‘’Harry cried.’ Would you consider writing their fight and then James Sirius apologizing? I was (re)reading this today and I just love it

thank you anon! you can also read it on AO3, if you want :)

the last part, is the content of the letter that james wanted to send to Harry, i hope you liked it! <3  PART 1, i think? idk, but the fanfic that anon referred to

Ginny didn't quite know what was going on when she got home, exhausted from yet another tiring day at work, with sexist coaches who didn't listen to what she had to say in the interviews, and other journalists who didn't care about the ideas she had proposed.

She did not expect to feel so miserable when she agreed to work on the Prophet.

But either way, she was happy that Harry managed to cut the workload that month, spending more time at home with the kids, especially now that James was six and started going to school, Teddy had just gone for Hogwarts, Albus was at a stage where he just wanted to be with his father, and Lily had her teeth born and was in a bad mood.

They hadn't had much of a problem with James at school so far, he had adapted, made friends, done homeworks, and was well controlled with his own magic, occasionally exploding or making things fly.

Nothing too dangerous and that they couldn't fix.

In the last week James' classes were suspended when 7 of the 12 children caught lice, luckily James was not one of them, so the boy seemed a little anxious about the sudden change in routine.

But today it looked like a war had broken out in the middle of their living room. Lily was taking all the clothes out of the clean laundry basket, Albus was on top of the trunk where they kept some old things, with his knee shredded and looking like he was waiting to make a dressing, while Harry and James argued beside him.

Ginny knew that the combination of her and Harry would make children easy to explode, but she realized that James had an extreme facility in getting Harry off track, much more so than Lily or Albus did. Albus knew how to irritate his brothers, and Lily only irritated them with her loud crying and childish antics like throwing things, but James was at that stage where he challenged his parents to find out how far he could go. Teddy had been there, too, but it was with Ginny that he could do it most easily.

However James seemed to know exactly what to do to have an angry Harry.

'James,' Harry asked, eyes closed as if asking for patience, it probably wasn't the first time they had had that conversation.

'I just wanted to fly!' James shouted angrily, his cheeks red.

'And didn't I tell you that you couldn't do that?' Harry countered, running a hand through his hair. 'How many times have I told you that neither you, or Albus, could fly alone?'

'But Albus was there because he wanted to! I didn't tell him to follow me.' The little one looked as furious as his father, his arms crossed in front of the small body just as Ginny did when she argued with someone. 'Why can Lily fly and I can't ?!'

'I was with her, she was not alone, you know that very well. I said that we could fly later, and that I would go with you- ’

'But you worked all day, and then the night would come and we would not be flying! Again!'

'James... You could have hurt Albus! Or hurt yourself.' Harry pointed out, looking as alarmed as if it had actually happened. As far as Ginny could see from the entrance to the Living Room, only Albus was a little hurt, and he didn't even seem to want to cry or anything.

'Oh, of course, if something happens to the precious Albus, it's the end of the world!' James threw his arms up, as if giving up, and before Harry was able to answer him, he shouted; 'I hate you!' And he ran off, tears streaming down his face as he climbed the stairs as fast as he could, his little legs not helping him to be too fast, but Harry didn't follow him either, which helped James get to the room and slam the door.

Harry sighed, hands on his tired face, and Ginny was still a little paralyzed at the door, thinking about what had happened. 'Mum!' Lily shouted, now sitting in the empty clothes basket, making the other two look at her.

'Hello my loves.' Ginny smiled going over to Albus and kissing him on the cheek, realizing how scared he looked. 'Hi my love, how are you?' She preferred to act as if she had just arrived, looking at his grated knee, still a little dirty with grass.

'Fine, I just fell.' He smiled, the little children's teeth a little dirty from what looked like chocolate.

'It'll be okay,' Ginny promised, casting a simple healing charm and placing him on the floor, before of course, she kissed the small scar that remained. Nothing too serious, but it was a tradition that helped them to be less afraid of when they needed to apply potions or other healing spells that were stronger.

They were a Weasley-Potter, after all, they were always falling.

'Hi my other love,' She smiled at Harry, hugging him, but realizing that he seemed a little reluctant to speak. He just smiled awkwardly, kissing her forehead and letting her go to be hugged by Lily, who had managed to topple the basket of clothes to be able to crawl out and run into her mother's arms. 'And my other love.'

'Hi mommy!' Lily cried awkwardly, hugging Ginny back, and hanging from her neck so she could be picked up.

'And where's my other love?' Harry sighed at her question, waving his wand and causing all the clothes to levitate, to be folded, and to go back into the basket.

'Up there,' Harry murmured. 'Do you take care of them? I'm going to prepare dinner.' Ginny nodded, lowering Lily to the sofa when Albus asked her to play with him and the Lego castle he had won from Percy.

‘Mommy, come and play with us!’ Albus asked, seeming not even to remember the fight between his father and brother anymore, amused by the pieces and teaching Lily how to stack the blocks too - even though she seemed willing to just destroy everything.

‘I’m coming, okay? Let me just go and say hi to James, and I'll be back here, okay?’ She promised, crouching in front of them, drawing all the attention to herself. ‘No mess and fights, Mom will be back.’

'Daddy and James fought,' Al whispered, as if it were a secret.

'Bad James,' Lily added, crossing her arms as she could, to look like her brother.

'They are just stressed, and he’s not bad. Now, I'll be right back.' Ginny left the room and went up to the second floor, still listening to the conversations between Albus and Lily, and the sounds of pots and dishes, much louder than usual, and she imagined that Harry was more angry at what he looked like while fighting with James.

Ginny knocked on the door to their eldest son's room, the photo hanging next to her made her smile, a picture of when they went ice skating, a few days before Teddy received the letter from Hogwarts, he and James were smiling from ear to ear. ear, while she and Harry still needed to hold hands to keep steady and not fall.

She hated it when she or Harry lost patience with their kids, when they got carried away by the tantrum. They should have known that the best thing to do when it happened was to just get away, let the kids scream alone for a few minutes, before they came back calmer and managed to talk to them.

'Hi my love,' Ginny murmured, opening the door and entering James's room, it was colder than usual inside, and maybe he had done accidental magic for this to happen and he could be hidden under the covers. 'It's Mommy.'

'I don't want to say anything.' James' voice was muffled by the pillow and the covers, but she could still tell that he was crying.

Ginny sat on the bed next to him, her hand on what she imagined was his shoulder. 'I heard that you and Daddy had a fight, is it true?'

'He hates me.' Ginny smiled sadly, denying and sighing.

'He doesn't hate you my love, and hating someone is a very strong thing to say, I promise you, he is just tired, and you need to help him a little too.'

'But he wasn't going to fly with me, and I just wanted to fly.' James uncoveredlooking at Ginny with brown eyes wet with tears. 'He only cares about Lily and Albus, he doesn't even love me anymore.'

'James, of course not, your father loves you very much, which is why he was concerned that you might get hurt. You know you can't fly alone, it's very dangerous.' She held out her arms for James to crawl onto her lap as if he were still a baby - for her, he always would be - and put him against her chest, cradling her body a little from side to side to calm his crying. 'Dad was just worried that you would get hurt. Besides, you are the older brother, and Lily is still very small and needs help to do a lot of things, just as Albus still needs more help. You are my big boy already, and you have to help them, and not go flying without authorization.’

'But he yelled at me.' James sobbed, holding Ginny's shirt in his hands, hiding his face like he did when he was a kid.

'Look, what Dad did was not right, but you didn't make it easy either. Both are wrong… Dad is having dinner, go take a shower, okay? I promise that tomorrow we can fly together.' James nodded, still glued to his mother, like a sloth clinging to a tree trunk. 'I love you my baby.'

'Me too,' he murmured, without further tears.

[...]

Dinner had been… tense, to say the least. Proving that he was Harry's son, James spent the whole dinner in silence, sullen, without even looking straight up, just as Harry was, determined to eat the lasagna without saying anything.

If it weren't for Albus chattering, and Lily trying to imitate him, they would have eaten entirely in silence.

After all the children were in their beds, sleeping soundly, and the house was quiet for another reason, Ginny lay on their bed, waiting for Harry to get out of the bath. They hadn't talked much, and he didn't even want to go shower with her, so she just waited, sitting on the bed while pretending to read the last pages of the romance Angelina gave her. Of course, the words didn't make much sense in her head, she couldn't concentrate, but she had to hide her nervousness.

When Harry finally got out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist, damp, messy hair, and still that sullen look, Ginny couldn't take it anymore; ‘Can you tell me what happened?’

Harry looked at her quickly over his shoulder, before entering their closet and disappearing, still in silence. Ginny can hear the drawers opening and closing, and then she can see Harry coming back from there wearing old shorts that almost didn't stop at his hip anymore. If he wasn't so sullen, she would try to ease the tension he carried on his broad, bare shoulders.

'He and I had a fight.' That was all he said, throwing himself on the bed next to her and covering himself, looking like he was about to go to sleep.

'It's not me you're mad at, don't be an idiot.' Ginny dropped the book on the nightstand, not turning off the lamp beside her, staring at Harry with determination.

He sighed, sitting up too. 'I was taking care of Lily, now that she is coming out of diapers it looks like she wants to pee every minute, and I asked him to keep Albus playing. They were in the garden, and James had already asked me to fly with him, but I was solving ten problems at the same time and making sure our daughter didn't pee on the couch, so I asked him to hope that later on maybe we could fly… But he is your son, after all, and he managed to break the lock on the shed and get a broom.' Ginny shouldn't laugh, she knew that, but she smiled, a little proudly. 'When I went down with Lily, I could only see Albus flying too, unbalanced, not much more than a meter from the ground, and James going up without control. There was no time and Al fell, but I had to make James levitate because the broom was very uncontrolled and he was unable to get it down.’

‘Harry…’

'It was my fault, I know, I shouldn't... I should have put a different lock on or I don't know, and,' He stopped, hiding his face with his hands again, denying. 'And I lost my temper because I had said that he couldn't fly alone, and Albus was crying on the ground and James looked scared when he realized he was too high... I shouldn't have screamed.'

'You were angry,' Ginny reminded him, realizing how sad Harry looked at this. ‘And worried.’

'But I should have known that when I forbidden him, he would try to do exactly what I said not to.'

'He's a child, Harry, of course he's going to do everything we say he can't.' She said what he usually said to her, when Ginny was worried about Teddy at Hogwarts after he spent two weeks without sending letters, even after she asked him to update them every week.

'He said he hates me, Ginny.' Harry finally looked at her, his eyes watering. Again, her heart broke.

‘Oh, Harry, of course not.’ This time, she didn’t wait for him to come to her embrace, as she did with James, Ginny preferred to hug Harry herself. 'He was just nervous.'

'I did everything wrong,' Harry denied, crying even more, as if he had held his emotions up until now, as if just inside their room was a safe place for him to finally let go. 'He didn't say it like it was nothing, I saw Gin, I saw that he was upset, he meant it.'

'He didn't want to, of course not..Look at me, no, no, Harry, look at me...He doesn't hate you, and you didn't do everything wrong, I probably would have done the same thing, you're just tired.' Ginny stared at him, forcing him to look at her too, her hands holding his face, tears streaming down his cheeks. 'You are the best father they could have, the best I could have chosen to be their father, you will see, tomorrow you will be calmer and everything will be fine.'

'I hate to fight with them.' Harry hid his face on her neck, tears wetting Ginny's skin, his hands tightening on her waist as if to make sure she stayed there, with him. ‘I don’t like them to cry because of me.’

'It's the side that nobody tells you about being parents, love.' She laughed softly, trying to calm the mood. 'But he doesn't hate you, I promise you that... I'm sure you are still his hero, and the person he loves the most in this whole world. You are not a bad father.’

[...]

The next morning, Harry got up first, he heard noises downstairs and knew that probably one of the children was already awake and wanting to make a mess. Passing through the rooms just to check, he saw that Albus was still asleep, and that Lily seemed far from waking up, but James' bed was empty, which wasn't too strange, since the boy seemed to still be keeping up with his early morning routine to go to school, even in that week of recess.

He heard footsteps as he approached the kitchen, an owl hooting loudly at the window, and low murmurs. ‘Stay still.’

'James?' Harry watched as his son tried to tie the letter to the animal's leg, which was trying to get away from him. James was on top of a chair, leaning over the counter, trying to pull Pandora’s closer.

‘Dad!’ Pandora flew away with his cry, without the letter, seeming to frustrate the boy.

'What are you doing? Who do you want to send a letter to?’ Harry was careful to move towards James, but he was happy when his son accepted his arms to come down. He still felt guilty.

'Hm... for you.' James looked at the floor, looking embarrassed.

'Me?' Harry knelt in front of him, staying in his line of sight. ‘Why don’t you just give it to me?’

'I thought it would take you longer to wake up.'

'I heard you coming down the stairs,' Harry said, looking into his son's eyes.

'Are you still mad at me?' James asked quietly, holding the letter tightly in his hand.

‘No, my love… I’m sorry for yesterday, I didn’t want to yell at you, I was nervous and I was worried that you might get hurt.’

'I'm sorry for flying without permission, and I didn't want Albus to have followed me for this either, I didn't see him.' James said. Harry felt so bad all night, unable to sleep in peace, conscience weighed down by having yelled at James, thinking about how sad he looked when he said he hated him.

'It was very risky, you could have been seriously injured.' The two looked at each other, Harry pulled his son close to him. ‘I don’t want you to do it again, okay? You can fly, but only with me or mom, never alone.' He whispered against the boy's hair, hugging him tightly, as if that alone could heal the pain he had felt.

'I didn't mean to say that I hated you, either.' James hugged Harry back, looking sly. ‘I don’t hate you.’

'I love you, Jamie. A lot.' He planted a kiss on his son's head, not caring for the tears that seemed to want to appear in the corner of his eyes.

‘Me too, Dad.’

-----

''Dad,

I'm sorry for yelling at you, it wasn't my intention. I don't hate you, I was just nervous, I'm sorry again.

Love you

James.''

[forestryfae]

Idk who WOULD say this in the show, hence my question. So I found some old note of when we were talking about who cusses the most, and I wrote this little thing for Clara, but really it could be anyone saying it to Cesar. Who do you think it would be?

“Use your fucking PHD to be a better person, Caesar!”

i feel like it REALLY depends on who and why theyre saying it

Rylander: genuine worry and care, wanting caesar to get his life together in a way that is healthier for himself and the people around him. most likely said in the event that caesar is making a choise everyone buthim recognizes as fundamentally flawed or harmful. would 100% say it if caesar was evil. probably wouldnt swear tho Black Knight: PURE manipulation. 100%. she KNOWS he blames himself and she knows how much caesar cares about rex and the people he loves. shed absolutely say this both as "use yous phds to be a better person, caesar. i know you can do it" and a "you owe it to them" way, but shed absolutely say this in a fight she instigated for the purpose of making him do as she says as well. Rex: i can see rex saying this in anger and frustration. about the nanite event, about what happened to six, about the whole consortium situation, or maybe if caesar was joining the wrong team or was making yet another brilliant invention with potentially disastrous consequences. i can also see him saying it in a regular brother vs brother fight over something more minor as well, like caesar putting an empty milk carton in the fridge by accident and rex being the one who discovers theyre out of milk. remind me to write this one out that sounds fucking hilarious. Holiday: shed say it very seriously, in a heated argument, especially if she felt like he was wasting his talent or making the wrong choice and she disagrees with him, or he makes something that has the potential to hurt someone again if it doesnt work. or it DID hurt someone again. White Knight: caesar makes a joke. its a very dry or bad joke. possibly a pun. especially an overused one. caesar has never been more confused Six: same as holiday but in a less colleague and friend scolding you way and more of a "im rexs dad now so i guess youre my son too. also im scolding you" way. pre-amnesia six owuld say it in a very cool and confident way and wouldnt raise his voice bu itd be stern. post-amnesia six would say it with a little bit more emotion, probably. he would probably say this after something has gone wrong, but also i can see him saying this mid-battle while caesar is trying to figure out where he went wrong and how to fix it. Bobo: same as rex finding the empty milk carton. Noah: definitley emotional and coming form a place of hurt or empathy for someone getting hurt. Claire and Annie: same as noah but also potentially to guilttrip caesar into helping them do a science project they "totally" have to do for school (thats a lie. they just wanna do science) Van Kleiss: he would absolutely without a speck of irony say this and caesar would choke him to death on the spot Hunter Cain: he would absolutely say this and caesar would say hes sorry he lost his wife but from a scientific standpoint hes fucking insane and should go back to elementary school, or possibly come for a tour of providence as hed be more than happy to answer any questions cain may have about evos, nanites, etc. then hed taze him.