#IVE NEVER EVER FINISHED AN ENGLISH TEST IN MY LIFE BEFORE???????

[burnthybread]

how are we feeling

[scottymcgeesterwrites]

Final Fantasy IV Review

Year: 1991

Original Platform: Super Nintendo (Originally introduced to Western audiences as Final Fantasy II, since the real II and III were not released outside of Japan at the time.)

Also available on: Nintendo DS, PSP (Final Fantasy IV: The Complete Collection), GameBoy Advance, Playstation One (Final Fantasy Chronicles), Steam (DS remake)

Version I Played: PSP

Synopsis:

Cecil Harvey is Batman a dark knight who follows orders from King Baron. The king tasks Cecil and his partner Kain with taking the crystals from the surrounding nations and cities. Cecil questions his king’s motives, leading to the revelation of a grand conspiracy. Cecil then goes on a quest to right his wrongs.

Gameplay:

The novel feature of this game was the ATB system – Active Timed Battle. This means that instead of you and the enemy waiting for your respective turns one at a time, each character takes their turn according their respective speed. One character may be slower than the other, so they will take longer to be able to perform an action. Basically, with ATB, if you wait too long to think about what to do on your turn, the enemy can hit you - JUST AS IF YOU WERE REALLY BATTLING IN REAL LIFE.

While Final Fantasy IV introduced ATB, it did not utilize the ATB gauge in actual battles. The ATB gauge is a visual bar during battle that shows your character’s speed. Whenever it’s filled, your character can perform an action. The gauge itself was first seen later in Final Fantasy V. Later remakes of Final Fantasy IV displayed the ATB gauge. Some configuration options were introduced later to give you the ability to change the battle system to active or wait. Putting it on wait would allow the timed battle to pause while you thought about what to do during your move.

Final Fantasy IV forsakes the customizable Job System and introduces characters with individual jobs. Kain is a dragoon, who can jump in the air and deal destructive damage. Rydia is a summoner. Yang is a monk. Etc, etc.

The Super Nintendo and PSP versions are more or less on par with each other in terms of difficulty. The Nintendo DS remake is really hard. Like REALLY hard. Like “throw-your-DS-across-the-room hard”. I myself have had trouble finishing it.

Graphics:

I haven’t played the original SNES version of Final Fantasy IV, but judging by the images it appears to be in this liminal state between NES and SNES. Not quite NES but not quite utilizing the full power of the SNES either.

The PSP version is somewhat reminiscent of the Anniversary Editions of Final Fantasy and Final Fantasy II, but it still has its own flair that outshines them.

Final Fantasy IV DS is pretty much a 3D remake in the same vein as Final Fantasy III DS, with an awesome opening FMV. The in-game cutscenes however now have VOICE ACTING. 

Now, the PlayStation One version has a FMV sequence that hasn’t aged well at all. We’re talking worse than the Final Fantasy and Final Fantasy II FMV sequences from PlayStation One. I can’t even find a good snapshot from Google Images, probably because nobody wants to look at them ever again. You can find it on YouTube though.

Story:

Final Fantasy IV is well known for being the first GOOD story in a Final Fantasy game. Cecil’s personal journey of redemption rung in the minds and hearts of audiences. There’s a nice balance of focusing on individual struggles and an epic adventure to save the world.

The cast of characters is pretty wide. Like Final Fantasy II, several secondary characters come and go. There is one difference but I don’t want to spoil anything. I guess the least I could say is that Final Fantasy IV subverts what to expect after having played Final Fantasy II.

Like Final Fantasy III, Final Fantasy IV includes crystals as an important plot device. This time they hold enormous power that the villain Golbez wishes to obtain for nefarious means.

While the story is infinitely superior in storytelling to Final Fantasy II, there are still some silly moments. I could best describe the bulk of the story as “Cecil and friends are on a race to capture each crystal around the world but something always gets in the way at the last minute.” While for the most part the story is done well, there are seemingly cartoonish moments involving random trapdoors and bewitched dolls. One particular moment I found myself thinking, "So you're just going to stand there while he does that?"

But I think the most admirable part of the story is how they approach Cecil and Rosa’s romance. While most RPGs, especially today, try to hash in a childish romance subplot, Cecil and Rosa are that rare couple that are already together at the beginning of the game. Their love is tested throughout the story.

The most popular quote from this game involves a complicated matter of translation. Western releases of Final Fantasy games (and Japanese games in general) often had awkward translations. “You spoony bard!” is one such awkward translation that originates from this game.

The character who spoke this line, Tellah, is arguing with the character Edward. The translation came out at “spoony” due to the Japanese writers believing it was still used today in English. It’s an archaic term meaning “enamored in a silly or sentimental way”. It technically fits, but clearly, nobody uses that word anymore, and players laughed at how nonsensical it seemed.

While I don’t want to spoil why Tellah is angry at Edward, the scenario in question is dramatic, and so Tellah saying “idiot” or “moron” wouldn’t quite suffice. The original Japanese word that Tellah uses is “kisama”, which in the given context is akin to telling someone they are a “son of a bitch” or “bastard.” Western releases, especially North American, were very often censored and demanded less or no profanity.

Overall, Final Fantasy IV is the first notable story in the Final Fantasy series, way better and much more original than Final Fantasy II.

Music:

 With the Super Nintendo, Uematsu was able to play with more sounds. The drumming that Uematsu had wanted in his battle themes is more apparent. He also added an accompaniment to the Prelude. The main theme of Final Fantasy IV is scattered throughout the score, just like a motif in a movie score. The main theme is the map theme, and I like how, for example, the theme changes to a different beat when you venture into the underworld. The main theme even pops up in the final battle, which to me is awesome because it illustrates the heroes collectively trying to banish evil.

In one interview with Uematsu, he stated he was a huge fan of Elton John. For some reason, after I read that, I totally see the main theme of Final Fantasy IV having an Elton John vibe, especially in the epilogue with the drums and the bass.

Red Wings, which is the theme for Baron’s elite air force of the same name, is notable for its unorthodox time signature. I swore I read that somewhere years ago but now I can’t find it, so if someone happens to come across it – let me know. The theme for the Red Wings sounds both heroic and sinister, referencing Baron’s underlying motives and Cecil’s dual nature.

Cecil and Rosa’s love theme is actually taught for schoolchildren in Japan as part of their music curriculum.

Uematsu pretty much matured at this point, in my opinion.

Notable Theme:

There are so many but my personal favorite is “Dreadful Fight”, a.k.a “Battle with the Four Fiends”.

I’ll also highlight the “Theme of Love”, because it needs to be out there as the first love theme for the Final Fantasy series.

Verdict:

Hands down, the perfect place for a beginner. You want to start getting into Final Fantasy? Start with Final Fantasy IV. The gameplay is easy to pick up. The story is simple and straightforward compared to the rest of the series but still effective. To those having played the later games first, it could seem trite. Unlike most of the Final Fantasy games, the different re-releases can be quite offer a different experience due to the translations, graphical changes, and differences in difficulty. At the end of the day, I would say any 2D version is fine, the best is probably the PSP version, but save the DS remake for later, since it is more difficult.

Direct Sequel?

Yes. Final Fantasy IV: The Complete Collection was released on the PSP in 2011. This is the version that I played. Square created two sequels for that collection: Final Fantasy IV: Interlude and Final Fantasy IV: The After Years. I haven’t played them myself yet, but there is criticism surrounding their stories, which apparently pale greatly in comparison to Final Fantasy IV.

By the way, the PSP version starts by showing the new FMV opening to Final Fantasy IV: The After Years, not the one shown in Final Fantasy IV DS. That’s a minor change but it really irked me, because the sequel’s FMV opening therefore spoils some of the story if you never played it before. I guess they wanted to distance themselves from Final Fantasy IV DS. Even so, why not just play that opening when you select The After Years?

[the-darkfactory]

A SICK GIRL.

This text was written and published in November 2018. This is the first time I translate to English. Hope it reaches those who need to read it most. Much love.

I was born dying. I was dragged from my mom's belly straight to the intensive care unit and spent a month in the incubator until I could breathe without machines. I was also born whole and no one ever told me that, one day, my mind was going to split in two.

I was very little when I first felt strange. Very strange. I was already 5’6 feet tall when I started my last year in primary school, finding clothes that fit me was torture. However, for my graduation party, I found a purple dress that seemed perfect. When I tried it on, under that all-showing light in the changing room, I felt fat. That was the first time I was disgusted by my reflection.

After a summer tinged with school farewell melodrama, I started high school. I spent most of my free time studying, listening to the Backstreet Boys or reading Harry Potter. At the end of the first semester, I got the best grades in my class. While everyone at home was happily celebrating, I made a pact with a friend: I was going to stop eating.

My thinness brought about new habits and what I remember the most is how cold I was: during school recess, my friends would go out to play and I would stay in the classroom wearing every sweatshirt I could find. It would take me forty-five minutes to eat an apple and before going to sleep, I would go over each food item I’ve had in the day and calculate the calories. I also learned that I had to get up slowly to avoid the dizziness that turned my room into a washing machine.

One day my family and I went to one of those “all you can eat” restaurants. After two sandwiches and a bit of cake, I started crying because I had an intense stomach ache, but it was all a premeditated drama I staged so they wouldn't make me have dinner. Two days later, my mom dragged me to a clinic. I had to take off my clothes and stand on an ice-cold scale. "You weigh 39 kilos," the doctor announced. "You're anorexic."

I was taken to a hospital that had a team specializing in treating people like me. We waited for hours until my name was called and I was met by an anti-anorexic army: a nutritionist, a clinical doctor, a psychiatrist, a psychologist and others I never understood who they were. They made my parents leave and Anorexia and I were interrogated. They asked us if we vomited, if we had thought about committing suicide and if we had ever been abused. When we talked about my parents' divorce, we burst into tears. Then they faced the back of two chairs and asked us to separate them according to how far apart we felt they had to be from each other in order for us to fit between them. We did it and passed the test: we knew we were tiny. The doctors said I was on the verge of hospitalization. I was a sick girl.

Once our relationship was made official, we went to the hospital three times a week. Long waiting, weighing, talking. We were forbidden to be physically active and we had to write down how much of what we ate a day. Mom sometimes comforted us and sometimes shouted at us. One night she yelled a lot because we had only had a piece of fruit for dinner, but how could I explain to her that eating made Anorexia hurt and so it hurt me too? We were sent to a psychologist we stared at in silence for an hour. We finished our junior year with straight As, enslaved at home and undernourished.

Anorexia and I did everything together. I would start a sentence and she would finish it. When I moved my hand to grab something, she was the one who forced my fingers closed, and if something bothered her, I did whatever was necessary to calm her down. One afternoon, we went cycling with our friends and we were carried on the handlebars so we wouldn't move. Everything was going beautifully until a sudden stop made us fall face first to the ground. We got up spitting teeth and blood. We broke our four incisors, skin came off our lips and we split the right side of our face. That night before showering, I stared at our skeletal, beaten up reflection. Days shy of my fourteenth birthday, I cried my heart out asking Anorexia what the fuck had she done.

I wanted her to go away. The only thing I could do to get her to leave was eat. Sometimes she won, sometimes I won. Once, she lost 100 grams and I went home after the medical check up feeling a killer urge. Another day, I gained 200 and that night she didn’t let me sleep. It was war. If Anorexia told me to hide food, I ran off to snack with my brother. If she hated sandwiches, I'd buy a dozen of my favorites. For every complaint of hers, a food bite of mine, and so, bite by bite, I filled her mouth with silence until I could no longer hear her speak.

I started my second year of high school with a seemingly healthy weight. I went to the hospital once a week. Eventually, I was told I could go once a fortnight, once every twenty-one days and, somehow, I stopped going altogether. I don’t remember how or when that decision was made. The only thing I do know is that during all that time I ate almost nothing from Monday to Friday and a lot from Saturday to Sunday in order to weigh more at the Monday check-ups. The thing was that once the pact between Anorexia and I had been made, she would try and talk to me every day. People didn't notice but I knew she was still there. We were still the best students, we lifted weights after eating a salad and we never got our periods. We were stopped on the streets to be offered jobs at modeling agencies and we realized that our bond had the aesthetic approval of society. I forgave her for all she had done and gave her, again, space in my body to grow.

When we turned seventeen, Anorexia changed. She screamed at me and didn't feel like doing anything. We quit the gym, gained weight and developed insomnia. One drunken night, we came home and went straight to the kitchen. We opened the fridge and devoured, on our knees, all the leftovers from dinner. We then shoved our fingers down our throats. That's how Bulimia arrived.

Bulimia was fiercely hungry. My cheeks, arms, and chin grew like a fatty bubble. I was disgusted by my body and I got dressed in the dark. I stopped studying, I couldn't concentrate on anything else. At prom I had two drinks and passed out. I woke up in hospital with an IV in my arm and my worried mother by my side. I didn't know how to explain that for weeks and in order to be skinny that night, everything I ate, Bulimia vomited.

I wanted to feel normal. I was very weak and exhausted, but Bulimia was young and confident. She never shut up, she would even eat raw polenta in spoonfuls and vomit it all, leaving me tired and confused lying in my bed. Her arrival was abrupt because Anorexia had already drilled holes in my head: they were different versions of the same thing and a pattern of destructive habits that infected everything. They turned my life into a living hell.

We vomited so much that we spent hours burying our heads in the toilet seat and we would only stop when we saw the first thing we had eaten leaving our body. We did it five, six times a day. We used every bathroom we set foot in. The ones at school, my friends' houses, restaurants, my grandmother's, my dad's. I developed arrhythmia and thought that Bulimia was going to get me killed. Some nights, while dreaming that I was violently bingeing, I would wake up desperate and ready to stick my fingers in my mouth until I realized that, that one time, the binge had been a dream. That feeling of “fake need to vomit” was the closest thing to peace I felt during those times.

Bulimia didn't want me around anyone. She made me think I was crazy and that I would never be able to be separated from her. I stayed away from my friends. I stopped having dinner with my family and we would lock ourselves up in my room. Mom would bring me trays of food that Bulimia kept in plastic bags. I once found a rotten chicken inside the closet. It was full of maggots. We were almost found out when my brother saw a glass of vomit in the bathroom that we had forgotten to flush down the toilet. He brought it to me and said, "Is this yours?" while retching. We nodded and took it away from him as if it had been a misplaced shoe.

I don't know how I managed to free myself from anorexia and bulimia, but for the last three years I have hardly felt their presence. Sometimes I wonder if I started traveling around the world to confuse them and leave them stranded in another part of the planet. Maybe they got bored of my criticism and couldn't stand my will to not share my body with them. One thing I’m sure of is that love played a major part. It was crucial to understand that I did not choose to live with them and that asking a person with compulsive thoughts to stop having them is like asking a paralytic to simply stand up and walk.

Anorexia and bulimia stole my time and energy. I gave them my will to live, my projects and motivations. In return, they gave me anxiety, panic attacks, depression and suicidal thoughts. They still whisper to me every now and then but I can ignore them. It’s not always easy. I don’t know, this coexistence has been very strange but they definitely don’t own me anymore. Looking for the reasons I developed this disorder is complex. I know that I was affected by the pressure I felt from a very young age to be perfect, the weirdness that arose in my family dynamics after the divorce and feeling that for society I was worth more as a woman the skinnier I was. The final trigger must have been a genetic predisposition and a bit of mystery: there is still a lot that science doesn't know about all this. Once my disease was established, it became a vicious, out-of-control cycle that was perpetuated by the worst evil of all: silence. I felt a deep shame, thought it was my fault and that, hence, I deserved what was happening to me. That made me sicker and I vowed to hide it, which was possible because these disorders are invisible: they lock themselves inside bodies of all types, gender, background, shape and turn them into slaves.

When I stopped vomiting and regained control of my hands, I wrote this. It feels weird. After seventeen years of being in a symbiotic relationship, there is something I still don't understand: if I am no longer a sick girl, then who am I?

[buckybabybaby]

Mr Hollywood (Epilogue Part IV)

Final Part!

Summary: Bucky Barnes, an underpaid teaching assistant in a small English village, dreams of a movie career back in his home country of America. He finally gets the break he's always wanted, and if it wasn't for you, his best friend, he wouldn't have been able to take it.

But is that fact enough to save your friendship when it's tested by the pressures of Hollywood?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader (Gender Neutral)

Word count: 2085

Chapter summary: Do you hear wedding bells?

A/n: The final, final, part, I promise!

(If the picture is all blurry, opening it in a new tab in browser helps!)

Warnings: Just fluff. But if you really don't like the idea of getting married, this is not for you.

Previous: Epilogue Part III

Mr Hollywood Masterlist | Main Masterlist

*****

“Bucky? What is up with you tonight?”

“What d'ya mean?”

“You keep fidgeting.”

“Sorry.”

He shifts beside you again before stilling, and you settle back against him to continue watching the movie, cuddling into his warmth, a small smile on your face as he pulls you closer.

It's been so nice having him home for the past few months.

After filming on his début show wrapped following it's forth season, he was inundated with offers of work, and he'd flown back especially to announce his new role was in a British series, filmed mostly on location only a few miles down the road. You had tried to protest, not wanting him to sacrifice his career for you, but when he'd explained it really was the best move, in every sense, you'd been thrilled.

Now, you can't imagine not spending your free time with him.

The weekends are just like they used to be, at the diner, or picnics by the river, sometimes lunch at the local garden centre as you buy yet another packet of seeds, what is different however are the crowds Bucky draws. The public are now aware of the nature of your relationship with him, and whilst he tries to be inconspicuous the two of you together are far too recognisable.

At first he hadn't been keen to subject you to the attention, and the potential backlash, but the number of times he had been wrongly linked to yet another actor was growing out of control, and he felt he had to do something to quash all the rumours.

“I never want you to doubt what we have,” Bucky had said when he told you his plan.

In order to cause as little fuss as possible, one afternoon in the winter just after you got together, he'd posted a picture of you and him at the Hollywood sign, with a simple caption, 'my world'. He had warned you beforehand that not everyone on the internet would be positive, especially when they learnt he's not 'available', but you knew it was for the best.

The general reaction wasn't nearly as bad as you feared. Isabella and her little friends belief that you and Bucky would one day be married appears to have been commonly held within the school, as when you went in on the Monday after his big declaration no one batted an eye. They clearly either thought you two were already together, or were not in the least surprised that it had finally happened, and aside from Edwin's spontaneous hug in congratulations, which caught you off guard in the nicest way, the day passed as any other would.

Even when the press turned up at the front gate, desperate to get a picture of the one who'd stolen the heart of Hollywood's favourite darling. Peggy 'no nonsense' Carter saw to them, and armed with laws and regulations around the sharing of photographs of children, before the morning break they'd been scared away. She also accompanied you home that evening to ensure there weren't any lingering around, wanting to make sure your home was still a safe space, somewhere to escape back to when everything became too much.

Eventually it all died down, and Bucky looks so much happier now he can talk openly about you in interviews, not having to dodge around the subject. Will you ever get used to seeing your name on celebrity gossip sites? Probably not, but it's just part of the crazy roller-coaster that is life with Bucky, and no matter how nasty the journalists can get you know it's all worth it.

By his side you can get through anything.

Back in the present he squirms next to you again, knocking into you as he adjusts his position.

“Bucky?”

“Hmm?”

“Is everything alright?”

“Yes.” Looking over at you, he smiles tightly. “Well, maybe. I'm not sure yet.”

Frowning, you pause the movie to give him your full attention. “Anything I can do?”

“Whether everything is okay kinda depends on you,” He says quietly.

Tilting your head as you watch the way he wipes his palms down his thighs, you wonder what's got him so worked up. Now you're thinking about it, you realise he hasn't relaxed properly all evening, despite showering and changing into his pyjamas, he's been paying more attention to tending the fire than enjoying the film. Sitting up, you gently remove his arm from around you so you can rise from your slouched position and get a proper look at his face. It's almost the same look of mild terror he wore four years ago in New York's Central Park, when you had both tripped your way through declarations of love, just before your very first kiss.

It clicks. There's only one reason he'd look like that now.

“Bucky, I know what this is.”

He blinks up at you. “Oh yeah?” He asks, voice high.

“Yes, and you don't need to be so nervous. We've talked about this.”

“I still want...” He trails off, his gaze slipping to the dying embers in the fireplace.

“Bucky?”

“Hmm.”

“I love you, you know?”

His face softens at your declaration. “Yeah. I do.”

“And you know there's no proper way to do this, no perfect way, and no way to mess it up either.

“I know. I just want it to be special for you. Please let me try at least.”

“All right.” You sit back in your seat, buzzing with anticipation as he collect his thoughts. Licking his lips, he takes a shaky breath, looking back across at you as he begins to speak.

“Y/N. My love. My best friend. These four years have been everything I've ever wanted, and even before then, your friendship completely changed me, for the better I hope. Thank you for always keeping my feet on the ground.”

“You're the sole reason I'm where I am today, and without you I'd be lost. I knew you were someone special from the moment we first met, outside the school gates. Do you remember?

“'Course. Mrs Jenkins hasn't been able to look me in the eye since.”

He laughs brightly. “Well, you were very quick to shut her down when she asked if I even had the right qualifications to teach.”

“I wasn't too snappy, was I?”

“Nah. My Y/N? Never.” His manner turns serious again, sitting up straight and maintaining eye contact. “I want to thank you Y/N. Thank you believing in me when I didn't. Thank you for giving me the confidence to keep going. And thank you for always being there, for forgiving me despite giving you every reason not to. I couldn't live in this world without you.”

“I couldn't live without you either Bucky,” You croak, your emotions getting the better of you. Reaching across to squeeze your thigh, he waits for your gazes to meet again before continuing. “Which brings me to a very important question.”

You nod encouragingly, grinning through the gathering tears.

“I'm gonna do this bit properly, so,” He slides off the sofa, kneeling before you and taking hold of your left hand, his own eyes watering as he peers up at you. “Y/N Y/L/N, light of my life, most beautiful person I've ever met, will you do me the honour of marry-”

“Yes!”

“-ing me?” He finishes, even as you're pulling him up to kiss clumsily. Knocked off balance by your enthusiasm, he ends up crushing you into the cushions, his body relaxing against yours when you refuse to let go.

Bucky always kisses you like he doesn't know when he'll next get a chance, and this time is no different. Tongues find each other as you hook one of your legs over his hips, the taste of salt from both of your tears only making the moment sweeter as you gasp into each others mouths, fingers lacing above your head as you try to get as close as possible.

Breaking away at length to breathe, you sigh contentedly, running your fingers through Bucky's hair as he traces his own along your sides.

“Didn't ever imagine you'd propose to me in your pyjamas,” You murmur after a minute or two.

“Sorry! If you want-”

“Bucky, shush. I'm teasing. This is perfect.”

He presses a kiss to your knuckles. “I'm sorry I haven't got a ring either.”

“That's all right too. With my job I wouldn't wear it often anyway.”

“But I will get you one. Gotta do it properly, every little detail.”

“If you insist.”

“I do.”

To prevent him from promising anything more extravagant, you lean up to touch your lips to his, softer now the initial elation has dimmed slightly into comfortable bliss. His body is still trembling with the pent up nerves, making your heart skip, so in love with this man you could explode.

“Was it really that scary for you to ask me to marry you?”

“Yes,” He laughs, resting his head against your neck.

“Golden Globe winning Bucky Barnes was scared to ask little ol' primary school teacher Y/N to marry him?”

“Technically, it was James Barnes who won the Golden Globe. Bucky is just your boyfriend-”

“Fiancé.”

“-Fiancé, who still can't believe he's got this lucky, so yes, I was scared.”

“You knew what I was going to say, though?”

“It wasn't so much your answer I was scared of, just making sure I got it right for you.”

Melting under him at his words, you let him trail his lips down your throat as your mind wanders to the big day.

“Oh!”

“What?” Bucky asks, not lifting his head off your shoulder.

“I was just thinking about how many flower girls and boys we're going to have to have. Amelia and Benjamin, obviously. Edwin and Ana's children, even Spencer, he's old enough isn't he? Or he will be by the time it happens. Isabella is almost too old now she's twelve, nearly a teenager.”

He chuckles at your rambling. “You know she'll still want to be one. It's all she ever asks me about when you're not in the room.”

“Really?”

“All the time.”

“Can't let her down then. And what about your best man? Dayton or Sam?”

“Err.” Bucky pauses his kisses to contemplate his answer. “Now you're asking.”

“Which one will have the most embarrassing stories? Pick them.”

“In that case then, neither.”

“Would it really be that bad?” You giggle, squishing his cheeks between your hands. “I know everything already.”

“True. But does your mum need to? Or mine for that matter? I wasn't exactly an angel during college. Or at any wrap party, ever.” He winks at you when you stick your tongue out in mock disgust. “Don't act so innocent Y/N. We both know what happened in that bathroom at the NTA's.” 

Releasing his face, you look away as your own heats up. “Dunno what you're talking about.”

Bucky hums, grinning cheekily. “No? I'm sure Sam remembers what he walked in on.”

You slap his chest lightly. “Don't make it sound so filthy! Nobody was naked, nothing explicit was going to happen. I was just happy for you.”

“Very happy, I'd say.”

Rolling your eyes as he snickers into your hair, you shuffle into the corner of the sofa to allow him to lay beside you, foreheads touching as you breathe each other in.

“We're engaged Bucky,” You whisper gleefully, linking your hands together and pulling them to rest over your heart. “Lucky you. Must feel like winning an Oscar, getting to marry me,” You joke, smiling so wide it hurts.

“Better.” Bucky says it so matter of factly, with such a straight face, that your breath catches.

“Remember to talk about me in your acceptance speech when you do win one, then.”

“If I win one.”

“When, Bucky. When you win. And I'll be right there by your side so you won't forget who to thank first.”

“Okay, if you say so. When I win I promise to mention how being your husband is better than any academy award, in front of millions of viewers and a roomful of fellow professionals. Should pick up a few 'ideal partner' points if nothing else.”

He beams at you as your body shakes with laughter, knowing that he is ridiculous enough to keep that promise.

“Seriously though Y/N.” His lips brush yours once, twice, three more times before he pulls back enough so you can see just how much he means it. “Being with you is like winning an Oscar every day.”

*****

A/n 2: This really is the end now, however much I'll miss them. But I can't just keep dragging it on, mainly because I've run out of ideas! I couldn't write their wedding for so many reasons, one, I couldn't keep it gender neutral as easily, and two, I just wouldn't know where to start! So just imagine it yourself. Sam is definitely gonna be there, along with Bucky and Y/N's entire families, Peggy of course, Edwin, Ana and their children, a guest list and a half, definitely a day to remember! But not something I could write, so this is the natural end of their tale... :(  

So here is my 3rd (probably?) thank you note! It's the middle of February now and I posted the first chapter of this fic in the middle of June last year, a whole eight months ago, so if you've been here from the beginning just know I love you and thank you so much for sticking with me. This hasn't been the most consistently updated story but we've got there in the end! And it you've commented at any point, please know I treasure every single word. I write for myself, the story I want to read, with the sort of characters I would like to have in my life, so if anyone else enjoys it too then that it just a bonus!

I have another idea for a slow burn series, and hopefully it won't be too long until I post that. More Bucky x reader, of course ;) so if you've liked this, maybe you'll like that too! Stick around, basically!

Once again, thank you so much for reading! xoxo

Main Masterlist

[luvdsc]

hey!! it’s 🧋 anon!! i hope you’re doing well! thank you!! ive got 11 more exams this coming week so i’m a lil 🥲 and then 3 more maybe the week after? exactly! i was so paranoid in the exam like “am i suddenly smart or a grade a idiot?” but it’s comforting to know that others feel the same about tests in general 😅. i’m learning python! i know there are better languages but ehhhh it’s just high school sjdnndn. and thank you about my bias choice sjsjndn. oh no not the 10th floor 😭 i’ve heard horror stories 🤧 i just can’t get over how sweet, funny and gentle he seemed in the jolly interview 🥺. thank you!! for letting me claim 🧋! and i wish i could say the same about not knowing that it was released but i’ve legit been checking since pre-quarantine for a boba emoji bc emojipedia said it would be coming out 😭 i had to start claiming it soon bc i’m NOT letting someone take it from me 😠 (but also! look how cute these are: 🦤🦭🐻‍❄️🐈‍⬛ ). as for my regular boba order, i’m still a lil new to the boba world bc i first (finally) tried it like 2 weeks before quarantine 😭. so everytime i go to this boba place (which is hardly ever for obvious reasons) i try to get something different! bc it all seems so cool!! the place i go to has popping bubbles in different flavours! so i always try to get a different drink with different popping bubbles and regular boba. i think my favourite so far is any drink (maybe mango?) with apple popping bubbles and boba!! but i’ve also been making boba at home for agessss and i usually just make regular tea or green tea with it! 💗

awww 😭 thank you ma’am sksndjdj. i mean, you do give off very motherly energy so i’ll happily accept being a baby 🥺 awww you think my accent is cute? ms cat i’m blushing 😭🥺 oof yeah the exams are not fun™️. but like you said, it does kinda prepare us for them more but the stresssssss is 🥲😭 okay so i’ll answer these in order if that’s okay?

do you still have class going on in between these exams? i assume you mean specifically when we have exams? so unfortunately yeah😭 it depends on the teacher as to wether they’ll let us revise in lesson or if we have to do regular work

do the gcse’s determine your college field of study afterwards? kinda? i mean, colleges have a minimum enterance requrement for courses. although it varies course to course, it’s usually somewhere around the 4-5 (high c-low b) mark. but you can do any course you want at college as long as you have passes in most subjects (usually an emphasis on core subjects (english, maths and science)). (so like, if you didn’t do history in high school, but you wanted to do it in college, then you could do the course as long as you meet the courses’ gcse grade requirements).

is college different from uni? yeah! college is for 2 years and straight after high school. in england you legally have to be in education until you’re 18, so all education is free until then, meaning that college is free! (unless you want to go back to do something else later in life). uni is after college and is optional. that’s where you get things like a bachelor’s, masters and doctoral degree. usually it’s for 3 years although it can vary and you have to pay! we have a student loan system too!

don’t worry about the questions! i enjoy the differences too sjdbbdd. and oooo! here, high school is 11-16/year 7-11, then college is (usually) 16-18/year 12-13 (although we don’t tend to refer to them by years) and uni is (usually) 19-22! (although you tend to go back to that for higher qualifications).

ansnsekndj i’m sorry ms cat 😭 and for me college will start in september of next year! we finish year 11 really early compared to the other years (usually we finish in july (my birthday month!!) but in year 11 we finish the day our last exam happens! which is usually around the end of may to the start of june!) so the holiday is the longest we’ll ever have 😭. that’s one of the reasons i envy americans because the summer breaks are SO long 😭 here, they’re 6 weeks sksndn.

i hope i answered all of your questions ms cat! ily! 🐈‍⬛💗~🧋

hi, lovebug!!! 💓 i’m going to put my answers under the cut since they got pretty long 🤧

i’m doing good!! i got soo much sleep over the weekend and am well rested, so this means tomorrow’s 6 am meeting won’t be too bad 🤧 YOU HAVE ELEVEN EXAMS THIS WEEK???? what on earth ���� that’s like 2 per day and one day has 3 aksjlhflajkdfaskdjf why don’t they spread them out??? and three more the following week 💀💀 this sounds absolutely brutal, i’m so sorry, lovebug. have you been studying for all of them? LOL yeah, i feel like something is wrong if i can just breeze through a test akjdlhsflask python is a good start and easy to understand! honestly, most codes are pretty similar tbh, so once you get a good grasp of one, it’s easy to learn the other ones :’) do you enjoy cs? 💕 aldskjfaslk yeah, jaehyun does seem like the perfect boyfriend, doesn’t he? 🤧💘 LOL i heard there would be a boba emoji, but i didn’t know if it was true or not, but woooo it’s good to know it’s finally here!! 🥳 and omg the dodo bird and seal emojis 🥺💗 those are all sooo cute!!! aslhfdlkjasd first time trying boba, i just gasped out loud 😦 i’m so happy to hear that you enjoyed it once you tried it though! 💜 omg the popping bubbles are really yummy! and i LOVE mango!!! 🤩 that’s one of my favorite fruits :’) same with apple!! omg you’re making boba at home asdjhfas i’m so jealous 🤧 i haven’t had any boba ever since quarantine started in march 😭 aaaah i loooove green tea and black tea ones :’) have you tried the cheese boba tea before? i thought it wasn’t going to be that good, but i was pleasantly surprised with the taste, like it wasn’t that bad actually. cloud tea is also really nice, too ☁️💞

akjashdlfkja you are the absolute cutest omg 🥺💖 the british accent is sooo nice like wow, you can just be reading me your grocery lists and i’m like 🤩 amazing, perfect, wonderful, never been done before. meanwhile, i’m here with some kind of american valley girl accent LOL 🤧 you shouldn’t be having that much stress at 15 what the heck 😭 i wish they would cut down on the number of exams for you because having 11 in one week is not okay at all ): and oh my goodness, thank you sooo much for giving me such thorough answers to all my questions, honey bee 🥺💛💛✨

ah, we also have classes going on during exams too, so i can relate unfortunately. it really sucks when the teachers continue to teach new material, instead of helping you prepare for the big exams /:

ooo i see!! i think it’s really cool that colleges actually show minimum requirements for acceptance. here, there’s no set criteria at all, so it’s kind of a shot in the dark. they do post the averages of past students’ grades/scores and whatnot, so we have a vague idea of what each school wants, but some schools are weird af, like my friend with a lower gpa and less extracurriculars got into stanford university, meanwhile my one friend who won essentially the youth’s version of the nobel prize and was even acknowledged by obama during his presidency was waitlisted 😬

oh wow, i wish it was like that here :o education is so expensive in the US, like student debt is the norm. do you still have general education classes in college, or is this where you can choose a specific field of study? and university is only 3 years oh my gosh wow, only three years of tuition to pay!! the US could never /: it’s like 70k/year for private universities, 5k-15k/year for public schools in state, and 15k-35k/year for public schools if you’re out of state 💀

the words “college” and “university” are pretty much interchangeable here in the US, so that’s really cool to know! years 6-8 / ages 11-13 (i think that’s the age range?) is considered middle school here, so it’s interesting to see that some of those years are considered high school for you :o

ooo ok, that’s when my school years ended too back in high school! i ended in may and started school again in august. but in uni, i started in september and ended mid june :’) ah yes, our summers are around 2-3 months, and i really miss having that now that i’m out of school 😭 only 6 weeks??? that’s so short omg i’m so sorry ): do you have anything fun planned for your summer? also, do you have prom there? 💕

thank you soooo so much, sweetpea, you answered all of my questions so nicely, and i appreciate you so much 💝💝 ily too, and i hope you have a good week ahead, angel!!! 💖🌷

[sunfish999]

if y’all ever wanted to know anything about me... i tried

hm I’m bored (i say this as i should be doing geometry homework

1. read: probably the paladin prophecy, or the finisher (just books i’ve read like 500 times, idk about understanding but--) watch: the vampire diaries? (idk i watched the entire series in 7th grade wygonnad) or aquamarine movie? listen to: XYLO, LUME, more specifically Need Nothing by Verite 

2. bro i have no idea who they are actually but I’ve seen like 2 fanfic writers who write exactly like me and seem to think exactly like me i love that. also a reg writer? uh probably mark frost? i aspire to write like f scott fitzgerald but it never gonna happen hun (cos i wanna major in physics not literature lmao)

3. holy fuck lets pick like 3 fandoms, aight? uh first lets go w my hero academia? tokoyami ofc? next... percy jackson bich-- nico LMAO no maybe bianca? hm HARRY POTTER -- ginny prolly although i dont want to date harry (oops) The maze runner? tommy actually ;; naruto? fucKINH ROCK LEE BABE uhhhsdfhh star wars is anakin and voltron is lance (or pidge actually) i should stop buuuut yeao ok

4. i think my name is fine but i aint gonna share it here (also kinda wish my nickname was charly though thats all im gonna say ALSO yes laurel is a faux name yes 

5. human being because i do nothing. lol but yes i think that who i am as a person should be based off my actions, for it is how i act that shows other people who i am, not ‘who i am inside’ dont make fucking excuses for your actions people 

6. yea i believe in 1 god and i was raised as a catholic christian but i am accepting of all religions and views

7. i mean kinda??? idk im very polish and so i eat lotta polish food (gr8 stuff right there) but im just american so yea 

8. muscial artists, well bitch i only started actively listening to lots of music (aka spotify) like last year but i listened to ari grande when i was young ofc but i dont rlly feel connected to her. maybe like, adele? probably her yea 

9. yes i am a visual artist (preferred medium is watercolor) i looooove singing although i suck so i just do it for fun, i played the french horn for 2 years (also suck so not really lol) um i also write for fun and im good at writing informative essays (my school is big in the english program lol) i was also in 3 plays but i dislike theatre so no. also i like clothes i am a fashion artist wow

10. tf? idk? i have like 3 mottos: “if you want something done right, do it yourself” “the answer to existence is not why we are here, but how we affected others during our time here” “jack at all trades, master at none, better than a master at one “ “you don’t have to speak to be present” “consider how hard it is to change yourself and realize what little chance you have in trying to change others” “do the scary thing first, and get scared afterwards” “the very fact that you're actively looking for ways to become kinder, and attempting to understand your flaws and change them for the better is fair proof that you as a person, are kind.” OK YEA MAYBE I HAVE A CREED SO WHAT 

11. ideal day lol art, reading, and binge watching tv in bed while eating. otherwise spending the day meditating in a forest in spring where its warm but not too warm and just not speaking the entire day 

12. both. i have 3 cats and 2 dogs. love all of them dearly though i’d consider myself a human puppy vs a human kitty (im not a furry calm tf down)

13. outdoors, if you mean nature. if you just mean social activity, then indoors 

14. as i said before, i like singing even though i suck, in grade school i learned the ukelele, piano, and french horn. i remember none of that now 

15. influential books my ass. LETS GO: 1. into the wild (krakauer) 2. Fahrenheit 451 (cant remember author name but its fucking iconic and a classic and it made me think) 3. just gonna go an put harry potter because that shit changed my life 4. the hobbit? idk, iconic 5. i wanna read more literature-y books soon but whatever, i feel like i should say the great gatsby but honestly with writing my essay and everything i just dont give a shit anymore

16. ok i feel like if my parents werent as strict when i was younger id have less depression and be less stressed but then i would also care less about my grades and being kind and i like that about myself sooooo 

17. lol this is EXACTLY me guys because its fucking anonymous as hell because i know none of you (except for like 2 mutuals but ive never met them irl but they’re cool) i dont trust my friends. or family, for that matter

18. my patronus is a wolf thanks for asking; and my power animal: symbolizes instinct, intelligence, and an appetite for freedom. embody personal power and balance between self-control and animal instincts. a guide to inspire you to live more freely

19. im a gryffindor, i took the pottermore test twice and got it both times, also, i took it doing the opposite and got slytherin, so i aint them (but i love slytherin sooo)

20. fuck are you serious? honestly hogwarts would be awesome as hell but probably middle earth because it still got the magic but it gorgeous as hell 

21. yea i’d probably say i love easily since i like barely talk to my crushes and yet i think i really really like them because GODDAMN 

22. school. daydreaming. eating. phone. drawing. 

23. i feel like once i move out for college i’d like em a heck of a lot more, so probably like at least once a month? when i’m older? like at least once every 2 months? i love my extended fam though

24. oh fuck my friend from school and i fucking liked chinchillas when we were little, we always text each other the same thing at the same time, i always know what shes thinking and what the basis for her actions is. shes the bff that doesnt always act like it all the time 

25. fuck yes 

26. pansexual and PROUD but still in the closet except for the whole internet and 3 friends 

27. ok honestly i feel like i dress kinda like a basic girl just more minimalistic and modest but i kinda totally want the gays to recognize me and also i fucking want those patterned polos because hell to the yes. and also i want bangs but i do sports and i feel like id look ugly because everyone says they would (waiting til college, naturally) otherwise love my freckles and real dark eyes

28. honestly, probably like a 2-3. i don’t care SO much about what people think, but i’m fucking annoyed by really dumb things super easily. i’m just really good at hiding it so no one ever knows 

29. why music wtf OK: 1. need nothing - verite, 2. lover like me - off bloom 3. strapped - FOOL 

30. why the FUCK all my quotes are in my creed bitch lemme search :

“growing up is giving up” 

thanks for listening to my TED ED talk aaaaand i hope you know me a bit better and i hope i didn’t accidentally give away too much info and someone will come kill me ok BYE 

[winter-and-little-brunettes]

85 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @vldrocketeer! Thanks, sweetie, sorry Im getting to doing this so late!!!

— What was your last…

1. Drink: Coca-Cola! And, Im about to go grab another can...

2. Phone call: My mom! I sent her some cute bird videos, and called her to hear her reactions to them.

3. Text message: A good friend I made in first year! His name is Colin, and he lived across the hall from me in residence first year. We’re both the same major (English Lit), and we both have similar interests in video games, so we got along great. I won’t post what I said, since we’re catching up and it was a long ass text message, but it was basically me explaining why I haven’t seen him around lately (since I’m usually holed up at work when I’m on campus)

4. Song you listened to: “Turning Page” by Sleeping At Last. It’s a favourite of mine!

5. Time you cried: Oh jeez... Uh, last month? March has been pretty stressful, and April will make me want to rip my hair out...

6. Dated someone twice: I almost did! But no, never actually dated the same guy twice.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Its hard enough to get me to kiss someone, let alone do it and regret it.

8. Been cheated on: I have. He was my first and only heartbreak (so far)

9. Lost someone special: Hmm... I think my best answer here is “yes”.

10. Been depressed: I mean, Im usually a pretty happy person, but everyone has their ups and downs. I cant say Ive been clinically depressed, but I have had a very dark part in my life, and I feel like another one is coming.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: HAHAHA uh... no... I mean, that totally wasn’t me...

— Fave colours

12. purple!!

13. blue, like, a royal blue, yknow?

14. pink

— in the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: I have, fortunately!!

16. Fallen out of love: “I need to be in love for that to happen” god Erin, same

17. Laughed until you cried: Those are some of the best moments. I’m a loud laugher, and it happens like, once a week probably.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don’t do anything special enough to be talked about

19. Met someone who changed you: I feel like every person I’ve ever met has influenced me in some way or the other, so yes.

20. Found out who your friends are: Oh man, I certainly have. Fortunately, I have that cliche best friend story where I’ve literally known her since SK, went to the same elementary school, high school, and university together... And she lived around the corner from me when I still lived in my hometown.

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: Well, considering my one ex is my friend there, I have to say yes.

— General

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: Every single one. Although I’m never on facebook so don’t ever add me; itll take a month to hear back from me.

23. Do you have any pets: I have two cats! Well, one lives with me, and the other is at my parent’s place. But Perriwinkle is with me, my precious kitty, and shes all I need!

24. Do you want to change your name: Hmm... I do quite like my birth name, and I adore my last name, but my middle name... Im not super fond of “Marie”.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: hahahaha uh, well, Id been working at my new job for about a week at that time, so I was working on my 19th birthday.

26. What time did you wake up today: 11:35am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I was working on The Power of Faiths upcoming update! ;)

28. What is something you can’t wait for: to be done university... As much as it’s a cool experience and all, all the stress it brings is gonna kill me prematurely.

30. What are you listening to right now: “I Get To Love You” by Ruelle

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I work with a guy named Tom. He’s a music major, he plays piano and is overall a super cool dude

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: when people I call for my job pick up the phone on a Sunday and bitch at me that I’m calling on “the day of rest”. Like?? Bitch, you did not have to pick up the phone. You saw the caller ID, just, let it go to voicemail?????????

33. Most visited website: It’s a toss-up between tumblr and ao3

34. Hair colour: brown, like, chocolate brown I guess

35. Long or short hair: It’s long for some people’s standards (it comes to between my shoulder blades) but still pretty short for me. I’m used to my hair reaching the small of my back.

36. Do you have a crush on someone: Oh hell no, aint nobody got time for that

37. What do you like about yourself: Uh... You guys wouldn’t like my answer.

38. Want any piercings: I seriously thought about a tongue piercing, but idk.

39. Blood type: You’d think, from the amount of blood Ive had taken for allergy tests and the like that I’d know. But nope, I have no idea.

40. Nicknames: Sam, Sammy, Samserban, Pretties, Samuel.

41. Relationship status: Single

42. Sign: Gemini!

43. Pronouns: she/her

44. Fave tv show: Voltron

45. Tattoos: I’m looking into tattoo parlors to get my first tattoo over the summer. I’m gonna get a bunch of flowers on my back, over my heart, for my grandma <3

46. Right or left handed: Right

47: Ever had surgery: Nope! Worst I’ve had are x-rays

48. Piercings: I do have my ears pierced, just once.

49. Sport: Hahahaaaa not anymore, I’m lazy af. But I used to figure skate competitively, row competitively, and ride horses.

50. Vacation: I hardly ever travel. Ive been down to Florida twice, and been to England and Scotland around this time two years ago with my two best friends.

51. Trainers: ...no? Again, I’m lazy af.

— More general

52. Eating: I dont eat as often as I should.

53. Drinking: Coca-Cola. Or coffee. Not sure which I’m gonna get yet.

54. I’m about to watch: I mean, I should be working on papers or something... Or even writing... But I just finished watching Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood the other day and I loved it!!!

55. Waiting for: my English prof to give me my marks back for a paper I wrote.

56. Want: a lot of money so I don’t have to work as much as I do to live in my bachelor’s apartment with my cat.

57. Get married: Maybe..... It depends on if I ever find the right person. But if I dont, I am more than happy to be alone.

58. Career: I really reeeaaally want to get into a writing/editing career. I want to one day work for a firm to work one on one with authors to help them edit and publish novels!

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: Hugs!

60. Lips or eyes: Oooh, eyes man!

61. Shorter or taller: Taller...

62. Older or younger: Older

63. Nice arms or stomach: Ooooh... arms...

64. Hookup or relationships: Definitely relationships, but I’m terrible at keeping them,,

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: Oh gosh, I mean, Im definitely more of a trouble maker... But like, a cautious one.

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: Oh hell no

67. Drank hard liquor: Im Canadian... Yes

68.Turned someone down: Haha, I sure have! I got asked out by two different guys on the same day before.

69. Sex on first date: Oh god no

70: Broken someone’s heart: Probably.....

71. Had your heart broken: I most certainly have!

72. Been arrested: Fortunately, not.

73. Cried when someone died: Yes. But, only once.

74. Fallen for a friend: I have no idea what this means???

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: hahaha uh... No???????

76. Miracles: Id like to??

77. Love at first sight: I do, but not for myself.

78. Santa Claus: Nope

79. Angels: Oh god no

— Misc

80. Eye colour:  like, a warm brown colour?

81. Best friends name: Kaylee!

82. Favourite movie: I love too many movies... But the ones that come to mind are Spirit: Stallion of the Cimerran, Stardust, The Swan Princess, and Toy Story!!!

83. Favourite actor: There are days I can barely remember my coworkers names, and I see them for like, 15 hours a week. Let alone someone I’ve never met???

84. Favourite cartoon: It’s Voltron ;)

85. Favourite teacher’s name: I dont really consider myself to have “favourite” profs. But I am fond of a few that I’ve had!

I’m gonna tag @forsakenangel88, @mardimari, @dumb-birdd, and any of my followers who want to do this! Just tag me, I’d love to see your answers <3

[fleur-quinn]

Side Fic v: Maroon

((Thanks @brooks-schreave aka Grace for the dramatic and specific rp haha. This takes place after side fic iv aka the rp with Vic. ~2.6k words))

After showering, I figure I’ll go and visit the movie theater and maybe watch something. I walk in only to realize someone is there, watching something.

“Oh I’m sorry- I-“ I pause as I see my face on the screen. “O“Oh my god is that Serendipity?” I quickly hide behind the couch, not wanting to see my face. Confession: I’ve never watched Serendipity on my own before.

The tv is switched off immediately and a tall figure turns around. “Hello?”

I stand up slowly, peeking at the owner of the voice through my fingers. “Oh hey, it’s you!”

“It’s me…” Brooks drawls.

Brooks is watching Serendipity? I never thought he was the type to do so. Serendipity doesn’t seem like something he would like…

“Actually, I was channel surfing. But I saw it was on and thought I'd maybe check it out?” He replies hastily. I squint my eyes at his questioning tone at the end but decide to let it slip.

“Ahh.” I nod and plop down next to him. “How is it?”

“The title confuses me.” He admits.

“What?” I laugh. “Explain.”

“Serendipity means the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way. This show doesn't seem happy.”

I laugh. “Well that’s a first. It’s actually mixed with comedy, drama and romance. I guess you just landed on a more dramatic scene or episode.” I pause and quirk an eyebrow. “Or you’re just weird.” I finish with a giggle.

“Someone just died, Fleur.” Brooks states.

“Oh oops.” I smile sheepishly as I try to think of something to say. “uh But hey that was how Jade met Louise.”

“Through murder?” He deadpans. Gosh, this boy ain’t giving up, is he?

“Okay fine, that part of the show was a bit weird... but you still can’t deny that’s serendipity! Or is it?” I question, wrinkling my nose. “Now you have me all confused! Well at least I can tell you Malika Snow’s story is 100% serendipity!”

“How’s that?”

“Well for one, for the most random reason, she decided to go to the cafe at the other side of town and met Josh and then for some reason, he gets intrigued by her despite her bitchy ways.” I explain.

“You play a…” He began before dropping his voice to a whisper like a little kid saying a bad word. “Bitch?”

“Uh yeah.” A smile tug my lips at his childish behavior. “I thought you knew coz like…” I pause before mumbling it quietly. “Everyone says I’m a bitch as well…”

“Really? Why?” He asks, confused.

“Why? You mean, you don’t think I’m a bitch?” I ask, shocked. “The reason is that I am a bitch, or at least I pretend to be one.”

“Well, I don't think you're one, and I'm an outstanding judge of character.”

I peek at him through my eyelashes, trying hard not to smile. “Really?”

“Sure, you've never been rude to me. Or others that I've seen.” He reassures me. Before I knew what I was doing, I throw my arms around him and hug him.

“Thank you so much for saying that!! I’ve been trying soooo hard to get the ‘bitch’ reputation off of me ever since I’ve stepped into the palace. And I know I’ve failed sometimes…” I gush, I feel his face get hot and I let go.

He rubs the back of his neck. “It’s just the truth.”

I beam and decide to change the topic. “So what tv do you like to watch then? Are you more of a reality show guy, soap opera guy or like I don’t know documentary guy?”

He laughs. “I know I'm boring, but I'm not a documentary guy. Truthfully, I don't watch a lot of tv. I like old movies.”

“You’re not boring. There’s nothing wrong with liking documentary. Ooh what kind of old movies?”

“Hitchcock films to be specific. Put me in a room with a ton of books and Rear Window playing, and I'll be set for life.” He answers, sitting back a little like he’s ‘set for life’.

“Ah ha so you’re a suspense kind of guy! His films are great!” I smile. “Although one of my favorite old movies will always be To Kill A Mockingbird! I love both the movie and the book.”

“Me too! When I was little, I was set on changing my name to Gem.” he admits. “Or naming any future daughter of mine Scout.”

I laugh. “ That’s so cute! Scout Schreave does have a nice ring to it! I’ll let you in on a secret, as a kid I always thought Scout was called Scott.”

“I thought Gem was Jim.” He replies with a smile.

“Jim and Scott…” I muse. Quite a pair. “Did you read the sequel?”

“Yep, is it bad if I didn't like it?”

“Yes, it’s bad! Coz I HATED it. I almost didn’t finish the book! And I can’t believe she killed Gem off and Dill was nowhere to be found!” I groaned, filled with emotions I once felt when I first read the book.

“'Twas highly disappointing, I must say.” Brooks agrees.

I sigh and laugh at the thought of us bad mouthing a book together. “I read it back in high school and my English teacher saw and was like.” I change my tone into a dramatic one. “You’re reading that?”

“Why’d she say that?”

“Coz she read about the bad reviews and didn’t even bother picking it up.” I reply with a chuckle.

“She was right.” He says, tapping his head like he’s a meme.

I smile at his mimicking. “So what else does Brooks Schreave like except old films and books?”

“Well,” He begins in a dramatic tone. “Brooks Schreave absolutely loves holiday music.”

I nod excitedly. “I love it too! I’ve already been listening to it for like at least a month!”

“Seriously? Too soon, Fleur. I'm disappointed.” He replies, shaking his head playfully.

“Too soon?” I quirk an eyebrow and crosses her arm childishly. “When do you start listening then?”

“December 24th.” He jokes.

I nod head and clap slowly. “Yup, can totally see how you love holiday music.”

“I actually start the day after Thanksgiving.”

“So you’ve been listening it for at least a month as well.“ I reply with a slight roll of my eyes, fighting a smile.

“Helps me focus.”

“It cheers me up.” I reply with a smile. “Christmas is my favorite time of the year!”

“Of course it is. Put you in a green sweater and you'll look extremely festive.” He says.

I gasp dramatically. “Green sweater? How could you!?” I flip my hair. “I will always wear a red sweater.”

“But with the green and red, you'd be showing off your holiday spirit!” He argues.

“Hmm.” I pretend to think. “I’ll take it into consideration. So you’re gonna wear a green sweater? Or a red and green one?”

“Nope, a black sweater.”

“Like a funeral.” I point out.

“My own.” He says, pretending to wipe tear.

I give him a weird look. “I dare you to wear a green sweater on Christmas.” I smirk.

“Green doesn't complement me. You, however,” A smirk disrupts the younger Prince’s perfect features. “should definitely wear Viridian. I'm told I look nice in blue.”

“Excuse you! I will not wear that color!” I say with a shake of my head. “Blue... well you should wear turquoise then.”

“I'll do my best. Excited for the ball?” He promises.

“And I’ll try to add green to my outfit. Yeah, I’m excited! I love Party and of course, dancing! What about you?”

“Not my scene, actually.”

“I guessed. What do you usually do during balls?” I ask.

“Stand against the wall like a nerd from a cheesy highschool movie.” He answers solemnly.

“I can totally imagine you doing that!” I laugh.

He rolls eyes playfully. “What do you think you'll be like at the Ball?”

“Hmm I’ll mostly dance, chat with some of the girls and eat. But I’m not gonna drink. Do you drink?” I answer truthfully.

“Never. It doesn't seem like something I'd be into.”

“Same here. I’ve tried alcohol. Ew.” I say with a disgusted face.

“Ever been drunk?”

“Not really, I got into the show biz before I was old enough to really drink and my assistant has always been there to test my drinks to make sure they’re not alcohol so I don’t get drunk and do weird stuff and embarrass myself.” I explain with a laugh.

“The only thing that I regret is not knowing what kind of drunk I am.” He replies with a small shake of his head.

“True. Let’s try to guess... I think you’re gonna have an extremely red face and you’re gonna walk around blushing at every human contact you make, making your face even redder. And then you’re gonna say and do all these awkward things, more awkward than usual that is... And everyone’s gonna have a great laugh with you!” I declare with a giggle at the thought of Brooks doing exactly that.

“That sound awful.“ He laughs. “I feel you'd be a philosophical drunk.”

I frown. “Philosophical drunk? Tell me more.”

“Well, you're already a pretty lively person, so I think you'd be the opposite when drunk. You'd be maybe a little low about things or talk a ton about the meaning of life.” He explains.

“Meaning of life…“ I repeat with a giggle. “Well if I ever get drunk, please record it for me. I wanna see myself talking about the meaning of life!”

“I'm sure you'd evoke some real thought on the topic.” He muses.

I giggle. “Probably give in a lot of legal advice as well! So what’s your favorite part of Christmas besides the music?”

“I like seeing everyone together.” He says with a smile.

I raise an amused eyebrow. “Together? That’s Valentine’s Day, Brooks.”

He rolls his eyes in response. “Not like that. I mean like family.”

I smile. “I know what you mean. Do you royals do anything as a family besides the ball?”

“We have secret Santa amongst the kids and we spend the day together. I'd say that's normal.” He tells me, a smile tugging on his lips. “What about you? I'm sorry, I don't think I've asked about your family before.”

“Aww yeah that’s pretty normal! Nah it’s alright. I have an uh um tw- twin brother. We usually go to my grandma’s for lunch and then we spend the rest of the day together. Similar I guess.” I say, stuttering through the word twin. What’s wrong with me? I’ve always been at ease to call Lucas my twin, to lie to others. Why can’t I do the same with Brooks?

“You have a twin?” He questions.

Flower. Flowerity flower flower. ((Fleur swears using the word flower hahahah))

“Uh um y- y-yes.” I answer, looking super uncomfortable.

“What's his name?” Brooks being Brooks, is obviously oblivious.

“L-Lucas.” I stutter.

“Is he a redhead too?”

“Uh yeah of course. My parents are both redheads.” I reply, trying to pretend to be confident and relaxed.

“Are you alright?” Brooks asks. Flower.

“He’s not my brother. Please don’t put my parents in jail.” I blurt, covering my face. Oh Flower.

Suddenly Brooks starts laughing a bit awkwardly.

What?

I look up at him with teary eyes. “Why are you laughing?”

He looks alarmed. “Why are you crying?” He asks, placing a hand on my shoulder. If this had been any other situation, I would’ve laugh at his alarmed face.

I blink furiously, trying to stop my tears from falling. “I just... I don’t want my parents in jail…”

“Why would they go to jail?” He asks, still incredibly confused.

I take a deep breath. “Coz Lucas was my dad and a prostitute’s son and then the prostitute abused him and he came to us and we took him in. He had no birth certificate so my parents made him one so that he would be my twin brother.” I say in a rush,breathless when I finish.

He looks at a loss for words for a moment. “E-excuse me?”

“Oh flower. I just told a flowering prince about it. Oh my god.” I groaned, hot tears streaming down my face. “I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me.”

“Wha- I don't hate you! Please don't cry!” He cries.

I look up in surprise. “You don’t?”

“Why would I hate you? Nothing you said sounds wrong.”

I frown. “...but I just told you my dad committed two crimes. And and you’re a prince?”

“It sounds like unofficial adoption and adultery.... Neither are great, but I don't understand what you expect me to do about that.”

“I don’t know... Put my father in jail or something. It’s just that I’ve never told anyone about this, well except for my best friend and Venus, who figured it out on her own. So uh…” I wipe my tears. “I’m so sorry for acting weird.” I apologize with a nervous giggle.

“Hey, it's alright! Don't feel bad, I understand. I know how it must suck to hold things in.” He replies kindly. I exhale a breath I never knew I was holding.

I smile. “Yeah it’s really hard. I’m usually quite good at concealing it but... I don’t know what happened.” I confess with a nervous laugh.

He cocks his head. “You just burst.”

I laugh. “I did, didn’t I? Gave you a bit of a scare!”

“Just a bit.” He jokes.

I laugh and decided to joke to make things lighter. “I’m sorry for scaring you and making you even more awkward.”

He laughs lightly. “It's okay.”

I smile. “Let’s put that behind us then.”

He rubs his arm absentmindedly. “Sure.”

“Are you cold?” I ask, noticing his not so subtle gesture.

“A little. I checked this morning at it's like 68 degrees. That's a bit cold for Angeles.” He says. ((Ahhh I love how Grace is so specific hahahahha))

I look down at my mid-sleeved dress then to his long sleeved shirt. “Uh yeah I guess.” Then I have an idea. Eyes dance mischievously, I rub my hands together real quick and place them on one side of his face. “Better?”

“Ever so slightly, yes. It reminds me of defibrillators.” He muses.

“Defibrillators. Really.” I deadpan. “This is defibrillators!” I rub hand together and pushes his chest, imitating defibrillators.

“You could've killed me!” He cries.

“Let’s see…” I pause to count my fingers. “Since I’ve met you, I’ve almost killed you twice... wow I feel sorry for the guards here.”

“Incompetent fools.” He puffs.

“Ow come on, they’re that bad?”

He laughs. “They let me almost die twice.”

I laugh back. “Well... yeah.”

“I've gotta go, meetings and such.“ he smiles, suddenly becoming all polite. “It was nice seeing you.” Then he adds, becoming more Brooks-like. “I'll make sure to wear turquoise.”

I smile back. “It was nice seeing you too. And I’ll add some green to my outfit!”

“Good.” he chuckles before leaving.

I shake my head as I turn on the tv.

And I also make a mental note to discuss with my maids how to add green to my outfit.

[fallinfor-youreyes]

Why Do We Run

The five times Benvolio says I love you, and the one time Rosaline says it back.

Ao3

I.

“I love you.”

Rosaline tries not to cringe at Benvolio Montague’s words. Which is hard, considering they are holding hands in front of their entire 8th grade class.

“And I, you.”

He makes a face at her words, partially covered by his too long hair.

That’s it. The scene should be over. It should be some other students turn to make complete fools of themselves in front of the class.

She should not still be holding his hand.

“Umm.” Benvolio coughs, and turns toward their teacher. Mrs. Lazzara sighs before clapping her hands together, the rest of the class following in unison. Benvolio rips his hands away from hers and stalks back to his seat.                

Someone wolf whistles when Rosaline sits down, and it takes everything in her being to not throw a book at them.

Two months. She has two months left of middle school, two months left of acting out scenes for English class, two months until her chances of ever being paired up with Benvolio Montague again fall to less than 5%.

“I love you!” the next pair presenting says. The partner blushes accordingly, and bat their eye lashes. That was how the scene was supposed to look. Maybe now Mrs. Lazzara would stop pairing her with her sworn enemy.

She can feel Benvolio’s eyes burning into the back of her head, but she refuses to look at him. Instead she crosses the day off her calendar and tries not to break another pencil.

II.

She really should have known better than to think prom would actually be fun. Juliet left to dance with her date less than 20 minutes in. Isabella was skirted away from some beautiful girl about 40 minutes later.  

It didn’t bother her that she didn’t have a date – she did say no to Romeo Montague when he asked – but what did bother her was being alone. The slow dances had started and all her friends had someone to dance with leaving her alone eating cake while some John Legend song plays in the background.

               The bright lights of the hallway almost blind her. She needs out of the ballroom, out of the dance, out of the crowd. Rosaline needs a minute to compose herself. She has a week left of high school, and then she would be done with Verona high and everyone in it. Except for her cousin and her sister and Isabella, but everyone else, she never wants to see again.

She can hear the song change from the restroom, and she knows Juliet will be looking for her in a minute, but she doesn’t want to go back yet. She runs her hands under the cool water, trying to calm herself down.

Her phone dings, and she sighs. It dings 4 more times, and she tells Juliet she’s in the bathroom to just give her a moment.

The music gets louder the second she opens the door back into the too bright hallway. She closes her eyes, ignoring her phone for another moment, readying herself to go back in.

“I love you, Rosaline.”

The words stop her in her tracks. She knows that voice. She also knows that is the last thing Benvolio Montague would ever say.

“Do you really think that will work?”

Rosaline knows that voice too, and it takes all her power not to groan and let the boys know she is there.

“I don’t know Rom. That’s how it works in the movies.” Benvolio says. She moves closer to the voices, discovering the two Montagues in a hallway off to the side. Benvolio’s the one facing her, and his eyes catch hers over Romeo’s head.

“Where is Mercutio when you need him?” Romeo says. He hasn’t noticed Rosaline yet, and Ben moves his eyes in a way telling her to get away while she has the chance.

“Probably dancing with his boyfriend.”

Rosaline gathers her dress in her hands and starts making her way back to the ballroom.

“You sound bitter.” Romeo says, and Rosaline has to agree with him.

“Yeah, I’m bitter he left me alone with you.” She can hear his eye roll in his voice, and for some stupid reason it makes her smile.

“Wow. Wait, what are you looking at?” Romeo’s voice gets slightly louder.

“No one.”

“Liar.”

She hears footsteps, and she knows she going to be caught because her heels make it nearly impossible to walk fast, and her skirt slows her down even more.

“Rosaline.” Romeo’s voice cracks over her name, and she can’t very well ignore him without being the world’s biggest bitch, so she goes to turn when someone collides into her.

“Ros! There you are I thought you drowned in the bathroom!” Juliet says, eyes falling on the boys behind her. Rosaline watches as Romeo turns from her to Juliet, and his face changes, just slightly, but enough for Rosaline to know something has happened. Benvolio watches too, a look of horror crossing his features.

“Hi. I’m Romeo.”

“I know who you are.” Juliet scoffs, rolling her eyes him. But Rosaline can see the slight color in her cheeks, and she thinks maybe, just maybe, she’s been saved from Romeo’s confession of love.

Benvolio sighs at the pair as he brushes past them. He’s grown since middle school. He’s taller than her now, hair cut short and reaching for the ceiling, red bow tie open, contrasting against the black dress shirt he has on. It’s a good look for him.

“Thanks. For trying to save me.” She says as he passes. It might be the first nice thing she’s said to Benvolio Montague since middle school.

“No problem, Capulet.” He offers her a barely there smile, before disappearing back into the ballroom.

She hears Juliet giggle and Rosaline grabs her cousins arm and drags her back to the ballroom. She’s had enough of Montague’s to last her a life time.

III.

“Oh, come on Capulet!”

“No. Leave me alone Montague I mean it.” She turns on her heel, turns away from Benvolio. They had ended up at the same college, and somehow, even though there were nearly 10,000 students, he was still able to find her and bother her.

Their arguments had become the stuff of legends, debates in classes, shouting matches on the quad, banishments from the library. It was like his entire life revolved around ruining hers.

“But I love you!” The words ring out on the quad, and nearly everyone stops their conversations. Rosaline can feel all their eyes on her. She slowly turns to him, finding a triumphant smirk on his lips.

She stalks back to him, anger rippling through her.

“We need to talk about this Capulet. Our cousins are dating and I know you hate it as much I do.”

The slap echoes around the entire quad. Someone cheers.

“I’m not going to sacrifice my cousin’s happiness because of your hatred for my family. No matter how much I don’t like it.” She takes a step away from him. “And next time you think about trying to embarrass me to get my attention, I’ll do a lot worse than slap you.”

He nods at her, holding his cheek, but there’s something akin to pride in eyes. She ignores it, walking away from him again, glaring at anyone that dares to stare at her.

Her phone vibrates, 4 hours later, once she’s texted Juliet again warning her about the Montagues, once she’s finished her homework, and once she’s replied to all the messages on Facebook about his confession of love and the slap heard around the campus.

I’m sorry

She has Benvolio’s number from the time when Romeo showed up to her room, drunk and tearful over Juliet, and she needed him to pick up his cousin. She had kept it in case of emergencies, and it seemed he had kept hers for when he fucked up.

Just don’t do it again.

Instead of answering he sends her a dog video and she tells him to fuck off, but adds a smiley face for good measure.

She never expected Benvolio Montague to be an ally in anything, but their mutual dislike of each other made them equally upset about their cousins’ romance. And they still fought at every corner, but every once and a while, usually on a weekend when they ended up at the same party thanks to their cousins, they would stop, he would call a truce and buy her a drink, and for a half hour they would be civil.

The fact that he could still make her smile, after what happened on the quad only made her realize that under different circumstances, under different last names, they probably could have been friends.

IV.

Juliet sighs, and grips Romeo’s hand tighter. The chapel is dingy, with the part of the sign falling off, but the two love birds are looking at it like it’s the most beautiful place in the world.

“Are we really going to allow them to do this?” Ben whispers, watching his cousin talking to the minister.

“Do we really have a choice?” Rosaline answers.

Romeo passes over the money, and Juliet’s entire being lights up, and for a moment, Rosaline forgets who they are. They are just four people, two of them so in love that they are going to elope in Vegas, and Juliet’s smile is all she needs to know there is no way she is going to stop this.

“I don’t think I could.” Ben says. He bumps his hip against hers, before smiling at her as he walks over to Romeo so they can start the ceremony.

They stand across from each other as their cousins say their vows, and he mouths the words I love you to her when Romeo says it to Juliet, with an eye roll and a smirk on his face.

They find their way to a club after the ceremony is over, and Romeo requests a slow song for them to dance too. Rosaline stands by the bar, watching her cousin laugh as her husband spins her in circles, and she’s filled with a sense of joy over the whole thing. It’s going to be a mess once their parents find out, but she’s never seen Juliet so happy.

“I love you.”

Ben’s arm slings his arm around her shoulder as he finds his way next to her. She turns to him, a question on her lips, but he just takes a sip of her drink.

“I’m testing out a theory.” He says in response to her look, ordering them both a round of shots.

“Which is?”

“It will feel different when you mean it.”

“Ben…”

“I told my last girlfriend I loved her, because I thought that was what I should do. Then she broke my heart. But I didn’t really love her. I mean, look at those two. You can tell they are in love, without even knowing them. I want to know how it will feel when I’m in love as they are.” He takes a shot, and drops his hand from her shoulder.

“So, I’m your guinea pig?” she asks.

“You know you mean more to me than that, Ros.” He presses a sloppy kiss to her cheek before melting into the crowd, leaving her stuck to the spot, wondering exactly what he means.

V.

The light filters into his bedroom, waking her up. His hand tightens on her waist, stopping her from moving.

She shouldn’t have spent the night. It was one of their rules. They had been sleeping together for months, and their rules made sure it became nothing else.

Rosaline doesn’t want to know what it feels like to wake up in Ben’s arms. She doesn’t want to know what he looks like first thing in the morning, doesn’t want to know if they’ll share lazy kisses or if he’ll attempt to make her breakfast.

Because if she knows that, the string holding her heart together will snap. If she knows what it’s like to be with Benvolio for more than just sex, she knows she will never recover.

“It’s too damn early Capulet.” He tugs her backward until she’s once again flush against him. She twists in his arms so she can look at him.

“That was your excuse for getting me to stay the night.”

He pops open a single eye, and pulls her forward, capturing her mouth in a kiss. “If it makes you stay…”

He kisses her until she can’t breathe, and his hand dances up skin, underneath his shirt. He sighs, pulling back, knotting a hand in her hair.

“God, Ros. I think I love you.”

Time freezes. She suddenly can’t breathe. This is different from any other time he had said those stupid words. She can feel the difference. Like he said at Romeo and Juliet’s wedding.

“Ros.” He searches her face, but she moves away from him, off the bed. She starts gathering her things, pulling on her shorts, searching for her bra.

“I’m sorry. I forgot, I had plans with Livia, she’s probably going to crazy, I –” she pauses, a moment, his hand reaching out for her.      

“Ros, wait.”

She pulls away from him, reaching for her shoes.

“I have to go.” She stops looking for her bra and grabs her phone, walking out of his apartment before he can say anything else.

It’s her fault. She knows it’s her fault. She was the one who kissed him first, all those months ago, at Romeo and Juliet’s wedding reception Mr. Capulet insisted on throwing. She was the one who called him again, two weeks later because she tipsy and lonely. She was the one who came up with the rules, she was the one who broke them.

Benvolio Montague told her he loved her and she ran away.

“Ros, what the hell?” Juliet almost stumbles over her as she walks through the door, bags of groceries falling to the ground.

“Hi.” She says, picking up the dropped food, helping carry it to the kitchen.

Juliet waits until everything is safely on the counter before turning to her cousin. “Want to explain why you are sitting on my floor, attempting to kill me?” For a second, she looks exactly like her mother, about to demand an explanation for the girls being out to late, or how Rosaline had enough money to buy a new dress or why Livia was dating the man she had chosen for Juliet. But when she sees her, Juliet melts, rushing forward to pull her into a hug.

“What happened?”

“Ben,” she swallows, trying to collect her thoughts. “He told me he loved me.”

Juliet gasps, and pulls herself back. “What?”

Rosaline closes her eyes trying to steady herself. But she can’t. She’s been unsteady since he kissed her. She feels like she’s been unsteady ever since Benvolio Montague entered her life.

“We’ve been sleeping together for months, and this morning he told me he loved me.” She rushes it out in one breath, only opening her eyes once she gives Juliet a moment to take it in.

“Oh.” Juliet says. “Sweetheart, what are you doing here?”

“Umm. I kind of ran away.”

Juliet sucks in her teeth. She holds out a bag to Rosaline. They unpack the groceries silently, Juliet thinking about what to say.

“Now, tell me. Do you love him back?”

That’s the question that Rosaline had been afraid of. Feelings are complicated and messy. The last time she gave her heart to someone, he left, without so much as a goodbye, offering an apology through his sister.

Love made things brighter, more alive, but it also made everything hurt.

Because if she lets herself love Benvolio Montague, she’ll give him the power to break her.

“I – umm. Jules, I can’t get hurt again.”

“That’s not a no. Ros, love is, it’s magical and wonderful, but it also is work. Believe me, the first-time Romeo told me he loved me, I was ready to say goodbye to him forever, but look at us now Ros. We’re married. Living together, making it work. If you’re too afraid to love, you’ll never find it again.” Juliet grabs her hand. “You love him too, don’t you?”

It takes all her power to not break down crying in front of her cousin.

“You wouldn’t be acting like this if you didn’t.”

I.

Sometimes, Rosaline hates when her cousin is right. Most times, it leads to her doing something spontaneous and reckless.

Like now.

Standing outside of the very apartment she ran out of that morning, holding a bouquet of flowers and a pack of beer. She doesn’t even know what she’s doing, if he’ll even let her in, but if she doesn’t try, she knows it’s going to hurt for the rest of her life.

The door swings open, and he stands in front of her, freshly showered and shirtless. She watches the muscle in his jaw jump.

“What?” There’s a poison in his words, one that feels like a much-deserved slap in the face. She goes to open her mouth, but he holds up a hand.

“Did you – did you buy me flowers?”

She nods, holding them out to him. “And beer. And an apology.”

He steps aside so she can walk in.

“No one’s ever bought me flowers before.” He says, a smile teasing his lips.

“Umm.” She doesn’t really know what to say. She hadn’t thought past the part of him opening the door.

He delicately places the flowers on the counter and turns to her. Her mouth goes dry, and her palms begin to sweat.

“I found your bra.”

“I’m sorry.”

They both speak at the same time, and she cringes, because this worse than she imagined it would be.

“You can go first.” He says.

She inhales a breath and takes a step closer to him. “I’m sorry. About running away this morning. I wasn’t ready for it. I’ve always guarded my heart, and then Escalus shattered it last year. And me and you, we’re a bad example of a decent relationship and I wasn’t prepared. But that doesn’t mean it was okay for me to run away from you.”

He leans back on the counter, crossing his arms.

“But that doesn’t mean I want what we have to stop. In fact, I would like it to continue.”

He looks confused, and she realizes that she isn’t making a lot of sense, and whatever she’s saying in no way makes up for how she reacted when they woke up.

She sighs and moves until she’s less than a breath away from him. “Ben, what I’m trying to say is, this morning, you said you think you may love me, and I freaked.” She pauses, and tries to stop her hands from shaking. “But, it was wrong of me. And If you’ll have me, I am falling in love with you too.”

She bites her lips together, waiting for him to say something, anything.

“It was a bit of an asshole dropping it on you like that. I probably should have asked you on a real date first.” His hand comes up to cup her cheek.

“A real date might be nice.” She agrees. Her gaze drops down to his lips for a split second. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

She nods, bringing herself even closer to him.

“Wanna go on a real date? Tonight?” He asks. “Now?” His nose bumps against hers.

“Yes.” She takes a shaky breath, curling her hand around his neck. “Whenever you want.”

“Okay.” He kisses her, soft and quick. “Rose. I love you.” He squeezes his eyes shut. “Shit, sorry, pretend I d- “

She presses a finger against his lips, silencing him.

“I love you too.”

[scpercyjackson]

How much the PJO books mean to me as someone with ADHD

Hi I feel like no one has had a post like this so I'm gonna post one kinda long story and if anyone wants to add on saying what the PJO world means to them please feel free to reblog with your stories or you can message me with your story cuz I'd love to know:

So when I was in the seventh grade I had an english teacher (who was absolutely amazing btw) who assigned the class to all pick a fiction book to read and write a report on. She took us down to the library and I remember looking at all the books not having a single clue what book I wanted to pick. I despised reading. I was extremely slow and I could never comprehend what was on the page. I could read 5 pages of something and not tell you a single thing of what I just read. I walked around the library aimlessly trying to get away with just picking up a short book and getting the hell out of there when I saw the first book of the Percy Jackson series "The Lightning Thief." I remembered I had just seen the movie a couple weeks before and my friend had complained loudly that the movie was horrible compared to the book and she told me to read the books instead. I didn't know what she meant cuz I actually quite liked the movie. I decided to take her word for it and I picked up the book, not knowing what I was getting myself into. In the first few pages Percy had explained how he had ADHD and Dyslexia and how those learning disabilities had affected his academic life and social life. The more I read the book, the more I realized that, other than flipping letters and words around and not being able to read, his personality, traits and behaviors, the way he talked without thinking of consequences, the way he had trouble focusing on reading, the way he realized, as a demigod with ADHD, he saw too much, not too little, and how he was so fidgety and restless, constantly moving all the time just to pay attention, all of those things were basically describing my whole life. I started to recall memories of times my teachers told me to stop wiggling in my seat or to be quiet and pay attention, or how they would look in sympathy at me when they saw that I had trouble understanding and recalling what I read even though I definitely could read. I remembered that I was always frustrated when I couldn't understand something the first time I tried it. My sister excelled at piano when we were little and then I would get frustrated, slam the keys, and cry because I couldn't get it as fast. I remembered always being the "slow reader" and finishing last on readings when everybody had already moved on. My room (and my life tbh) was a disorganized mess. I realized while reading the book that I might have ADHD. I was 99% certain. I ended up doing so much research on it that I was convinced. I was even more convinced when I had basically devoured the first PJO series in two months, quicker than I ever read before and the most books Ive ever read in that amount of time. My parents were shocked at how I was all of sudden reading all the time. Finally in 11th grade when I became so overwhelmed with the amount of reading junior year required, I told my parents I wanted to get fully tested for ADHD. Thankfully they understood and told me they've suspected for a while I might have ADHD. When the psychologist who tested me finally told me I definitely was ADHD I almost cried. Not meaning to sound dramatic, but I felt like my whole life finally made sense. I was able to get accommodations in high school and now college. I finally knew that I wasn't dumber than my peers. In fact, the psychologist actually told me my IQ was slightly higher for someone my age which was actually common among kids with ADHD. This all became possible because I had picked up "The Lightning Thief" in 7th grade because my teacher forced me to. Since then, the PJO world has grown so much with so much representation for so many different kinds of kids from LGBT kids to people of color and to the disabled (I grew up with gay relatives and friends and it was nice for Rick to depict my type of family as normal. I also grew up as a mixed race girl with a physical disability and, unknowingly a mental one too so it was amazing to finally see people like me be main characters in his stories). I found myself relating to Percy, to Annabeth, to Thalia, Nico, Reyna (as a puerto rican who had trouble keeping friends), Leo(who was hispanic and super ADHD and loved cracking jokes to hide pain), Sadie Kane (as a semi white passing colored girl), and so many of his other characters. I finally found a world where I belonged and I'm never gonna give that up. I hope other kids like me have found themselves in these books as I know I definitely have.

Thanks for reading : ) I'd love to hear your stories so please reblog with them or message me or follow me and I'll be posting a lot more about my thoughts and theories on the PJO world.

[hockyeah]

wait what?? how did you come out like that? :0(storytime please?)

buckle up kiddos, this is a story for the ages.

i had my first Gay Epiphany in 7th grade. november 17th, a day ill never forget, when i looked over to this one chic in english and thought 

“damn, shes beautiful”

and promptly dissolved into panic, as any 12 year old with a girl crush would do. i eventually came out to this person the next day out of guilt, and pined after her for a yearish? i  cant remember exactly, it was a while.

anyway, i continued on in my little gay life, confused as ever. for that next year and a half, i went through a gajillion labels (bi, queer, pan, etc.) until i realized that i hadnt found a guy attractive for at least 9 months and stuck with the label of lesbian.

and then, towards the end of this 2017 school year, i began to get restless. everyone at school already had their suspicions: i act so gay in real life that my friend group was bombarded with questions pretty much on the daily. i hated being in the closet, but i was too scared to come out fully.

right before exams, my fucking math teacher assigned with big ass review packet that i wanted absolutely nothing to do with, so much so that i was avoiding it with every fiber of my being. it was due that friday, that i hadn’t begun. it was thursday evening.

i had already memorized most of my lines for a show that i was in that opened in two months, i had written enough in my fanfiction to publish for the next month: there was nothing more i could do to procrastinate.

until my impulsive ass had an idea: come out. not only to my parents, bt to everyone. my school, my theatre friends. everyone.

its not uncommon for me, someone with bad adhd, to get impulses like this. i was convinced i could put on a musical in my basement like last week and it took me a while to get talked out of that one. but normally, i dont act on it.

unfortunately, this time, i did.

i came out to my younger brother first as a test run, and he was a little weirded out, but he was 12, what could i expect? then, i went to my mother. she cried, and said she supported me. i went to my father, he said, and i fucking quote “i dont care. for some people, its a thing, and for others, it isnt. thats it.”

then, i went to my instagram, my snapcat, my social media, and finally admitted that i was gay. i had like ten people posting “proud of [hock]” and ngl i was shaking a little. everyone seemed so supportive

i went into school that next day with a rainbow bracelet around my wrist, and a supportive friend group at my side.

i finished my math homework during gym.

i got a 94 on it.

and here i sit, out and proud, in front of my laptop, with my eyes tinged blue from stage makeup, and id like to say that you can do it. you can come out to everyone, and it wont end badly. it doesnt have to be planned, it doesnt have to be exact. sometimes, it just happens, and i can proudly say ive never been happier with my sexuality and myself than i am now.

sometimes you just gotta not do your homework in order to do something even better.

[argaliaofficial]

i started typing this earlier but then had to go to work so now im just gonna finish it so i get it off my chest

back when i was with my first ex, meg, we went to this private christian school i prolly made a post about this on here before but its topical right now i didnt sleep at all and im tired enough to spill my fucking guts out some more 

so anyway we went to this private christian school and thats when it happened. ive honestly repressed a lot of my time there i was not doing great but what i do remember just makes me feel sick. like, meg aside, the school just sucked. 

for context the way it was set up was that we had “placement tests” to see where we were in subjects like math and english, and however we did made us get placed in PACEs according to our skill level. in theory this is fine i suppose, but the thing was that there were no alternatives to the PACEs. 

PACEs were part of the learning curriculum of our school which was ACE- Accelerated Christian Learning. they were basically little study pamphlets that went over instructions on how to learn certain subjects and whatnot, while also having a christian perspective on things. scripture verses were abundent in them, and they had like a continuous series of comics going in there about their character Ace Virtuson and friends. 

Along with the PACEs, the classrooms were set up like an “office” of sorts with cubicles that you sat in. For me honestly that was one of the many hells because it was so cramping and clinical and I just do not learn well in that sort of environment. so you’d sit quietly for like 8 hours a day with occassional breaks with nothing but your PACE pamphlets to work on. you couldnt speak to any body, and if you needed help, there was a flag system in place where you’d put a flag up and have to sit around and wait for a teacher to come assist you, and usually their assistance only lasted briefly because theres countless OTHER students to get to, and nepotism is a thing and if they dont like you or think of you as a problem kid, you’re less likely to get the aid you need.

i was one of those problem kids. 

early on, i could manage that set up when my work was easier, but when i hit “high school age” and got into more advance work i began to suffer horribly. it didnt help that at this time, i got with meg, but less about her right now and more about how this school system fucking failed me and others tbh 

i do not learn by reading information. at least, i dont retain it. i need to discuss with people, with my peers and professors. i need one on one sometimes, especially with math- my biggest struggle. but how the school was set up made that sort of learning almost impossible. your peers were all at different levels, so group discussion was rare. their were attempts, but they never lasted long, and the extent of the help basically surmounted to the teachers just reading what the PACEs already said and vaguely explaining more, and that blew. 

so, me, being a hands on group learner who has to talk and listen to even retain information and needs to be allowed to move around often instead of being cramped up, started to fall behind in my studies. badly. and of course, instead of the teachers trying to asses WHY it was you were falling behind, you got written up and had to have your parents sign a slip. you could get written up for a few things and these were always detentions of sorts. usually they were lunch but if you were bad enough you’d get an after school one. i accumulated these almost once a day and after a while i got tired of having my parents sign them EVERY SINGLE day and just forged their signatures. i got away with that like 75% of the time lol 

like they were just for the same shit ‘oh ur kid didnt do their homework blah blah ur kids out of dress code blah blah” and so i was just “whatever” because like... nothing seemed to change i was just being perpetually punished for being unable to keep up in my studies. my parents tried to get a math tutor for me but halfway thru i think freshman year she moved and that was that

i got so fucking sick of just being behind while my other peers seemed to be moving forward that i started bullshitting my work just to get thru. ofc that didnt do anything because i wasnt learning the work, and because i lied about my answers and cheated i got punished again. and i was just like “whatever” 

i cried all the time. parent teacher conferences were hell. i always cried. it felt like i couldnt convey to them why i was such a fuckup. like i wasnt making sense, or i was being overemotional. instead of trying to make changes they just talked about how i had to work harder. least i think. i’ll be honest i always just disassociated during those meetings before going into meltdown mode.

on top of that, i was in a “gay” relationship with a classmate, and lots of bad stuff happened. ive always had an overactive imagination. great for being a wannabe artist. not so great when youre already an easily manipulated undiagnosed autistic child. me, her, and my current gf actually had our own little world! thinking back on this now, for me at least it was escapism to try and just cope with how miserable i was at school 

i dont know how soon in the “relationship” it was before things got sexual. my concept of time during those years at foursquare is so scattered. according to posts ive seen on dA me and her were together or at least “friends” for 2 years? so actually i think my saying “freshman year in high school” is inaccurate and things got bad the tail end of middle school and continued until i was a sophomore before switching schools.

ANYWAY, so yeah, along with all this school nonsense, i was in a gay relationship, one that was abusive in many aspects. ofc at the time i didnt know that i was being abused! i just thought yknow her forcing herself into me sexually was kinda par the course and i was already kinda a sexually curious kid growing up so like.. i was looking for that i guess? it hurting cuz she went in dry is just to be expected, yadda yadda. pretty sure i cried? and i know for a fact that i still sleep in the room where she raped me like that and its sometimes just “yea i was literally right in that spot when i was raped lol”

and she would constantly want me to touch her sexually too, and when i said “no” and pulled my hand away that she had been trying to force down her pants because i wasnt personally ready to do that she’d always complain and make me feel bad cuz i wasnt comfortable touching her. “i always get you off but you never get me off!” 

and at the time i didnt just tell her to fuck off cuz i didnt know any better. i didnt know that it was ok for me to not be ready to do that. i thought i was a bad person for not being ready to pleasure my partner, even tho its not my fault if shes ok w/ pleasuring me, and im ok with being pleasured (even tho tbh it was hit or miss sometimes she just did it lol), but im not ready to touch her, i guess? and like i tried to communicate with her and im pretty sure i told her that if she didnt wanna jerk me off cuz i couldnt do it to her yet that was fine but whatever

on the fourth of july she started groping me out in public while we watched the fireworks and i remember trying to get her to stop cuz i wasnt comfy with doing this in public cuz a) this was years ago and homophobia was a lot more common especially in this boonies town and b) i dont like seeing other couples being handsy in public so i dont want to be handsy in public either

and i remember while shes groping my chest and im trying to get her to stop theres this group of older kids in front of us and they see. and they start snickering. they started snickering at the sight. and i was so mortified and wanted to die.

looking back those kids should get hit by a fucking bus for laughing at someone getting molested and being obviously uncomfortable with it but i guess its funny cuz “lesbians! haha look at that pervy lesbo touching that other lesbian!”

and thats the story of why every fourth of july i want to kill myself

things kept progressing, ofc. i remember one night, while we were camping, i finally caved and fingered her. i forced myself to think “yeah ok i can do this” and i just thought the crippling anxiety i felt was cuz i was nervous to be intimate with my girlfriend for the first time like this, but really i was probably scared she was gonna hurt me since by that point she had. she had made herself perfectly clear in her mannerisms and tone of voice that she was stronger and bigger than me and could hurt me. 

and a few occasions she did. one time she started choking me so badly that i honestly thought “oh my god, shes going to kill me here at school”. i still sometimes feel her nails digging into my throat, and i dont think ive ever been as terrified in my life as i was in that moment. i dont think she would have stopped had a teacher not intervened. 

there was only one time i ever hit her, and that was before school started, and i had finally lost my shit over how much she kept fucking with me. all i remember was i came to school angry at her. over what i dont remember. she was always toying with my emotions, and i think that it had built up over the time that i finally snapped walked into class before school started, walked over to where she and alyss were talking, and a slapped her across the face before i walked over to my desk

i dont think i got in trouble for that cuz no one snitched? idk i mightve, but i didnt care. i was angry at her, angry at the school, and suicidal. 

i remember one time during a break i was crying. a teacher from another class came up to me and asked what was wrong. i told her i wanted to die. she just looked at me all uncomfortable. i think she mightve said something before walking off?

nothing came of that. 

i was more worried that i would get in trouble for being in a gay relationship than as apposed to thinking that these teachers- people who are supposed to protect their students- would help me. i gave up on them even recognizing the signs of me being abused. i feel like they wouldnt have even taken it as seriously as we were both “girls”, and this was back before talk of how women can be abusive was more common place. abuse was still strictly seen as male on female violence. and to some people, gay violence was comedic. 

eventually, one night, it all came to light. at least, that she and i were sexually involved. that week was a blur. she was taken out of school. it was brushed under the rug. everyone trying to save face i guess and keep other kids from finding out, but somehow i always felt like they knew. they knew that she was taken out of school because of me. because we were gay

i tried to move on, but my studies never got better. i just grew more jaded. i never did any work. i mouthed off to the teachers, continued getting detentions and just plainly stopped caring. no one could get me to do anything. i would play hooky. 

and that was just.... my life. perpetual anger at a system that failed me spectacularly. to this day i still hate that place. i cant be there. i was groped and molested and it was treated like nothing

so yeah

thanks for listening to my ted talks

[kingofbluebell]

Video Game Forecast 2017

Due to some computer trouble and my lack of time to edit this week, I'm pushing the first anime review on this blog to next week. I want this review to be a good first impression for the greater anime community, and besides, if I rushed it out I'd be letting myself down. Instead, I'm going to ramble on at length about the upcoming games for 2017 that I'm excited to play because people sure love making lists on this topic. Yes, I touched on most of these games in post two weeks ago, but I didn't flesh out exactly why I was excited for them. As always this list reflects my personal taste which is sure to be different from anyone else who reads it. I'm trying to square away some other projects before the first load of games comes knocking at my door so let's finish this quickly. Just like with my other list posts I'll include a table of contents at the start for easier browsing.

Dragon Quest VIII

Gravity Rush 2

Yakuza 0

Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age

Persona 5

Nier Automata

Super Mario Odyssey

Yooka-Laylee/A Hat in Time

Etrian Odyssey V

Kingdom Hearts 3

Dragon Quest VIII 3DS: Unlike the feelings of disappointment that grew as I reached the end of Dragon Quest VII, there is a precedent for me to enjoy this game a whole lot more. Dragon Quest VIII is one of my favorite games of all time, and the ability to easily play it anywhere is always a boon in my book. Sure the lack of the orchestral score, decreased resolution, and a voice actress change are making me hesitant to play it, but at its core, it's still Dragon Quest VIII: the pinnacle of the classic JRPG.  I'll get used to the new voice for Jessica as I did for Chie and Teddie in Persona 4 when Golden came out and like that enhanced release, I'm excited to test out all the new features chief among them being the lack of random encounters. To me, this was the major thing holding back the original Dragon Quest VIII, even if the encounter rate was relatively unobtrusive, and with Akira Toriyama's iconic monster designs seeing those slimes scuttle across the world map is going to be a delight. I'm also curious to see how they've extended the story, especially with the inclusion of the two bonus characters. Plus I want to see what outfits I can put on my favorite guy Yangus.  Unless another game appearing later on this list gets localized this year, or I muster up the will to plow through the Shin Megami Tensei IV duology I can't see another game vying for time in my 3DS this year.

Gravity Rush 2: Sure the dream to have this sequel be another defining title for the PS Vita is long since dead, but the combination of this game existing at all and the befuddling presence of the Vita in 2017 is more than enough to satisfy me. The original Gravity Rush translated very well to the PS4, and demo proves the controls have been refined even further. Being built from the ground up for the PS4 has not only improved the controls, but the brief glimpse of the vistas we'll be able to float through are anything to go by the developers certainly know how to make use of the rest of the PS4's hardware. I hesitate to classify Gravity Rush as a sandbox series, but that's mainly due to my reticence to play many of them now. Most of these games are heavily padded with additional objectives and exist on a playfield so large they become overwhelming. Gravity Rush also contains the myriad of collectibles and repetitive side missions of increasing difficulty however it doesn't immediately hit me that I've done this all before. The series' unique movement options and that said movement options only improve with every digression from the main plot certainly aid in this feeling, yet there is clearly something more. The original Gravity Rush's world, possibly stemming from the fact it was originally a portable game, felt compact and that translated into a more focused experience. I can't wait to see how I can mess around with the sequel's settings, but I hope the developers give me more ways to interact rather than more ground to cover.

Yakuza 0: If there were any franchise that exemplified the tenets I mentioned above it's Yakuza. The way folks over at Sega have gone about expanding the fictional city of Kamurocho, not by expanding the map but instead increasing the number of locations the player can explore in the same space is nothing short of genius game design that reflects actual urban development. This cost saving measure has not only allowed longtime fans to become familiar with the city as they would their real-life neighborhoods but also for the developers to make it come alive by including dozens of unique side activities on top of the already expanding and satisfying combat mechanics. While I'm still relatively new to the Yakuza franchise, my time playing the PS2 entries of the franchise make me excited to play more. I have no reticence jumping into a game further down the development timeline because I don't mind going back to older eras of 3D action games with their relatively stiffer controls. From what little I remember Yakuza 3 is a large step up from the PS2 era titles, and besides the story, design and charm of the franchise are more than enough to get me going back to older games even after playing the most refined game the series has to offer (in English).  I'm just happy Sony and Sega are giving this franchise another chance outside of Japan. Even though prequels tend to get a bad rap in most media the Yakuza series storytelling pedigree has me excited to see how Kazuma and Majima turned into the men we've grown to love. In fact, the game being prequel has also given me the opportunity to sell the concept of this game to as many of my long-time GTA, martial arts, and crime-fiction loving friends as I can. The two-year localization wait for this game is almost at an end, and I can't wait to delve into the opulent world of 80's Japanese crime.

Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age: I've been a fan of the way Yasumi Matsuno crafts RPGs since before I could easily pronounce his name. His approach to story and characters are as nuanced as the game mechanics that encapsulate them. In my opinion, they're some of the few RPGs that have a real balance between their gameplay and narrative aspects which is saying a lot given the tendency for Japanese RPGs to rely more heavily on the latter for player engagement. The world(s) of Ivalice is one of the most intriguing fantasy settings ever created in any medium and while it saddens me to say we may never get another chapter in its story I'm more than happy to return to its grandest one. Final Fantasy XII was already a huge game within the constraints of a PS2 title, and I'm sure this PS4 upgrade will do its sweeping landscapes justice. More importantly, I'm excited to experience the Zodiac Job system after all these years. The original's license board being fully open for each character, while certainly gave multitudes of customization options, felt almost too broad to the point it became unwieldy to manage. Having a more focus skill set for each playable character will go a long way into making the fights more strategic. After playing Odin Sphere: Leifthrasir I'm curious if this collection will give us the opportunity to use either system for character progression though I'm doubtful it will. What I don't doubt is this title coming out in 2017. With news of more delays on Kingdom Hearts 3 and the Final Fantasy VII remake not to mention the impossibility of any localized version of Dragon Quest XI so soon, this HD remaster will be a solid stop-gap title for Square's RPG market.

Persona 5:  The changing tides of Japanese game development, as well as the maturation of my taste, has made the (Shin) Megami Tensei series overtaking such giants as Final Fantasy and Dragon Quest my favorite JRPG meta-franchise. Even almost succumbing to "Persona 4 Fatigue" and being let-down by Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE are not enough to change my mind. Persona 5 has a lot to live up to and from what little I've allowed myself to hear and see it has certainly impressed those who've played it. I'm grateful to have not been spoiled on any of the major plot developments and even many of the finalized game mechanics in the extended wait between the Japanese and global localization. I'm not normally the type of person to care about spoilers, but I've managed to hold back my excitement this long so why throw it all away at the eleventh hour? I haven't seen a new trailer for the game in at least a year, and I've gone so far as to avoid the English VA introduction videos for fear some of their characters are introduced too far into the story. I expect to either set up a myriad of blacklist programs or just take a sabbatical from most online interaction until I beat the game once so as not to be "tainted" by even the most benign meme. Sure I might become a hermit for a few weeks once the game arrives, but it'll be worth it to finally get to enjoy another full-fledged JRPG from masters of the craft.

Nier Automata: Rather than a screenshot I'm starting off this section by showcasing a very telling tweet from Drakengard/Nier creator Taro Yoko. There seems to be an unexplainable amount of pressure for this game to be amazing, and I'm still trying to break down how exactly we got to this point when at E3 2015 there were so many people confused about "the weird guy in the creepy mask".  It's not like after the reveal of Nier Automata the rest of the franchise was made more readily available to a wider audience to get them acclimated to the franchise. The first two Drakengard games weren't released on the PS3 or PS4, and I don't believe Nier is eligible through streaming on PS Now or is backward-compatible with the Xbox One. You would think after the unfortunate state Drakengard 3 released in, being plagued with slowdown and having a third of the content locked away as DLC that cost as much as the base game, that the series would have stopped there. In fact, most fans were shocked Drakengard 3 came out at all. Despite the odds, it seems some folks at Square Enix must enjoy Taro's work and want let him continue to lead projects, which for people like myself is a delightful aberration in this industry. I wouldn't say I'm the most knowledgeable Drakengard/Nier fan, I haven't spent much time looking at the fan-translated supplementary materials, but Nier is still one of my favorite games of all time, so that's why I have high hopes for its sequel. Outside of folks like myself, I believe everyone else's hopes lie are with the developer of Nier Automata: Platinium Games. Despite some recent disappointments, which can partially be blamed on rushed development cycles for licensed products, Platinum Games have been responsible for some of the most mechanically complex and energetic games of all time. Their reputation certainly precedes them at this point, and I think a lot of people believe they'll bring a similar flair and finesse to the combat in Automata. However, after playing the demo it's clear that Nier Automata is going to play a lot closer to the original Nier than Bayonetta. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but that means that 2B isn't the next evolution of cyborg Raiden. Combat in the original Nier was a simple hack and slash with some interesting magic mechanics, and I believe Platinum's involvement with Automata will go a long way in smoothing out the combat in ways Taro's previous team at Cavia was just not capable of doing. From what the demo provided it's clear that Platinum succeeded at this without sapping a lot of the particular flavor people look to get from Taro's games. Personally, I'm ecstatic Taro gets to work with a team known for massive and intricate boss encounters because I can only imagine how much they'll be improved compared to those found in the original Nier.  My biggest wish for 2017 would be for Nier Automata to be a resounding critical and financial success not only for Taro but also for Platinum. After the cancellation of Scalebound and Activision pulling out of licensed game development it'll be a rough time for them to find another project so soon and they could certainly use a big win.

Super Mario Odyssey: While everyone else seems blown away by The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild the game that piqued my interest more at the Nintendo Switch presentation was Super Mario Odyssey. Seeing Mario in a more sandbox oriented platformer for the first time in over a decade immediately grabbed my attention, and the idea of Mario going on a globe-hopping adventure will aid in making the cliche level tropes you see in most platformers have some distinctive flair. I must admit seeing one of the areas called "New Donk City" made me giggle more than the realization that a lot of the elements in the trailer mimic the original Sonic Adventure. More important to my potential enjoyment of the game was seeing all the additional movement abilities Mario as acquired for this new title. Mario can now swing as if he's performing an uneven bar routine and his hat, that is somehow sentient, can be thrown to act as an additional platform to reach greater distances. I'm unsure if the fan favorite "long jump" has made the transition to this title but it would surprise me if it didn't. Despite all of this I don't think Super Mario Odyssey, despite coming after a collection of solid titles, will be enough for me to purchase a Switch. My infatuation with portable consoles will have me buying the console eventually, but I'll be waiting until I hear more about that new Shin Megami Tensei game.

Yooka-Laylee/A Hat in Time: I'm putting both of these in the same paragraph because my thoughts on each of them are the same. Before Super Mario Odyssey got announced, these were the only 3D sandbox oriented platformers (have to find a better name for that before I take a deeper look at these games) on the horizon after the genre died out just at the start of the 7th console generation. I may not be the biggest fan of Banjo-Kazooie (certainly not its sequel), but I played and still replay on occasion the hell out of Insomniac developed Spyro the Dragon games. I adore the freedom you get roaming large levels and using your platforming prowess combined with your ever expanding move set and power-ups to tackle the various challenges put before you. I even like collecting a ridiculous amount of different collectibles, which is why I'm one of the few people who still emphatically enjoy Donkey Kong 64 outside of the memes. All these factors, as well as a majority of the original Banjo-Kazooie team involved with the project, convinced me and many others to heavily back Yooka-Laylee. The pedigree of the developers and constant updates have put a lot of our fears to rest after some rather large Kickstarter kerfuffles soured plenty on crowdfunding. I can't say I know as much about A Hat in Time though its smaller, inexperienced team and more meager funding explains its near four-year development cycle. Still, I've heard plenty of positive things from those who've backed the project and got to try out the demos. My fondness for the subgenre will have me giving this a shot as well if it reaches its promised release date this year.

Etrian Odyssey V: Last year I fell deeply in love with the plodding and challenging dungeons of the Etrian Odyssey franchise, completing two games. As arduous as they were I enjoyed (almost) every second of my hundred hour journeys, and I anxiously awaited the next title to be localized. I can understand Atlus wanting to make sure their global launch of Persona 5 to go smoothly before announcing any concrete release dates for games, but the wait for any news of Etrian Odyssey V's English localization is making me worry. Now with the Switch the next big thing from Nintendo resources from all companies, including Atlus, shifting to support it. It concerns me that a more niche title like Etriany Odyssey will be forgotten as we move to new hardware. Still the overwhelming success of Pokémon Sun & Moon, the lack of any announcement of a Switch Pokémon RPG, and the fact that Atlus USA tends to localize games for older hardware more often than other companies has me hopeful. Will we see Etrian Odyssey V in 2017? It's possible, and if it turns out to be true this year will be an even better year for games. Until then I should probably take the time to brave Etrian Odyssey Untold: The Millennium Girl to make sure I'm not too rusty.

Kingdom Hearts 3: I know anything can happen now than Final Fantasy XV, The Last Guardian and Owlboy came out last year, but I'm not holding my breath for Kingdom Hearts 3. I can guarantee to be there day one, but until then I'm not even touching 2.8 until the "third" entry in this franchise gets an actual release day. Just because I still harbor deep feelings for this hot mess of a series doesn't mean I need to be beholden to its whims. I'm not fifteen anymore.

So that's all the games I'm interested in checking out this year. I've chosen a lot of safe bets this year, but a lot of that has to do with me wanting to play a lot of highly rated Japanese games that have taken a while to localize. If any of the heavy hitters on other peoples' lists turn out to be great, I'll try to squeeze them in if I have the time and cash. In addition, every year there are a handful of smaller titles that blow everyone away that few initially knew about and when those inevitably rear their popularity onto the gaming landscape, I'll try to check them out too. I'd love to hear what games the people that read this post are looking forward to in 2017 so either leave a comment here or on my Twitter.

See you next week.

[batchaoticcollectionnight-blog]

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"insurance quotes for salons

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insurance quotes for salons

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for milwaukee wisconsin?

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insurance quotes for salons

insurance quotes for salons

Car Insurance Question?

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How much will my insurance and maintenance costs be affected by what type of car I get?

I'm about to be 18 and am planning on getting my first car soon. I've been driving for almost 3 years in my parents' cars but need my own for heading off to college and such. I don't know what type of car I want to get, but it's gotta be cheap, old and used, preferably up to $6,000-7,500 at the absolute max. The problem is that I've been really into cars for most of my life and would rather have something a little nicer to start, I mean within the same price range but for example a Mustang, Mitsubishi 3000GT, BMW 3- or 5-Series, etc., rather than the usual Civic or Camry (not that I'd mind one of them either). The problem is that I'm worried the insurance will be way more expensive. The latest quote my dad got was a few weeks ago and it was quite a bit lower than I expected, only like $560/yr., but that was with their old '93 Taurus GL. Will having a sports car or more high-end car affect it really dramatically or will it not make that big a difference as long as my driving record stays good? Also, how much more does it cost to maintain and repair a car like a used BMW than it does just a normal car like an Accord? I've always heard that European cars in particular can be temperamental and finicky if not maintained properly, so I'm just worried that I won't have the money and know-how to have and keep a car like that as my first car.""

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I need help with my car insurance?

Middle aged female (mid fifties), have had comprehensive car insurance 8 years no claim but current insurers now charging me nearly 500/annum.Insurance runs out 30th october 08. Any suggestions for cheap car insurance companies (in England please) for Honda Accord V Tec (W Reg). Thanks""

What is the best health insurance's for myself?

added info im 22 years old with no medical problems.

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I am trying to figure out why my insurance keeps going up. I never had a accident, have a spotless driving record, and pay on time every month. Every 6 months when my policy renews, ...show more""

Pregnancy and insurance?

I am five weeks pregnant and do not have any insurance. I cannot afford too expensive insurance. Is there any other option for low-cost coverage during pregnancy? Does anybody know what kind benefits California state offer? I live a few years in the United States, so I am not familiar with types insurance. Thank you for any suggestions and help.""

I'm 18 can my 18 year old friend take me to my driving test?

I just turned 18 and I'm about to take my driving test. Can my friend take me who is 18 and has her CA driver's license already? Also, if I'm borrowing her car, does my name need to be on the insurance? I live in southern California Thank you""

Best public health insurance plan in nyc?

I've been traveling after college and won't go back to school for another year. I've been volunteering only and haven't worked for over a year. I don't qualify for ...show more

Life insurance?

Say if you have taken out life insurance for yourself for 20 years and you dont die.... I know it sounds horrible.... what happens to the money you have payed in?

How much will car insurance will cost me?

I want to lease a new 2014 Honda Sedan Getting my licence in june 18 years old/ $800 a month How much will it cost if my dad get an insurance same car He got his license exact year ago good credit score

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We are looking for affordable health insurance, but I don't even know where to begin....If you are self employed, who is your provider and why?""

Can someone else insure my car and put me as a driver?

I got a car out the dealer with my stepdads help (co signer) now I'm only 19 & I have a good job I can do my payments with no problem, the only problem is insurance is really a pain because since I'm young & I only have about 3 months with my listener my insurance costs so much a month. I was wondering if my stepdad can just open a new insurance & put me as one of the drivers. Would it be a difference on the paymets ? I'm trying to get the cheapest I can & I need help :/ & the car us under both of our names. Thank you!""

Car insurance cost for a Infiniti g35 coupe?

I'm 18 and think of getting one, anyone know how much it might be? Oh and btw I live in Hawaii.""

Car Insurance for a 19 yr old male?

I'm going to be buying an black 03 Cadillac CTS and I was wondering about how much my insurance would be. I've been driving since I was 16 with no tickets or wrecks. Can anyone give me at least an estimate on what it might cost? I will be using it mostly to drive back and fourth to work.

Were do i get classic insurance for 91 calibra 4x4 turbo.?

Were do i get classic insurance for 91 calibra 4x4 turbo.?

What is some good cheap car insurance for young adults between the ages of 18-24?

And I mean car insurance that you don't have to pay over 100 dollars for.

What is the insurance on a Yamaha R1?

I am thinking about buying a 2001 Yamaha R1. I am 18 years old. I have a clean driving record and have never been pulled over. (Knock on wood) I have a car already, if that matters. I would like to get it insured if possible. How much do you think the insurance will be a month/year? Also, what would be a good company? *Before you answer please I don't want your opinion on if it's a good idea to get the bike because I've seen a lot of answered on opinion of bikes and not what the insurance will be.""

Does it cost more money to ad your spouse with your car insurance?

My wife keeps asking for my car. But I dont feel comfortable giving it to her becuase her name's not under my car insurance. How does it work if i want to ad her on? Do the insurance company charge you more money or is it still the same? If they do charge more money, do you know any insurance that's reasonable price? thank you""

Does anyone know some cheap insurance companies for drivers who just passed?

UK only please :)xx

Whats a good car with low insureance and good gas mileage!?

im looking for a car that had good gas mileage and low insureance. i was really looking into a jeep and trucks and some cars.. that looked sporty.. but i know sporty cars have high insureance.. im looking for somthing that will be a good first car..but im not sure...

How much does car insurance cost at age 16?

ok so i want a used 2002 toyota celica but i wanna know how much insurance will cost me first before i buy it. so if you can help plsss answer thxs =) p.s i live in the state of new jersey if that can help idk lol.

Good Car Insurance Companies? For a young driver...?

I was wondering if anyone knew any cheap car insurance companies for a 17year old female? I've had a full licence since February of this year and was with Quinn-Insurance. I paid just over 2200 for a years insurance which runs out the end of next month. I know this is a good deal for a young driver but obviously I'd love cheaper lol. Any company names would be greatly appreciated for me to look into further.

Why are car insurance quotes on comparison sites so high?

I'm almost 17 and I'm hoping to learn to drive and buy a car, I was looking on some comparison sites to see what the insurance might be on some possible cars (ford KA, fiat sciento, nothing too fancy) but the quotes were ridiculously high? I know being 17 will mean expensive insurance but this was really expensive, they said the cheapest was around 6000 for third party. This is really high because I know loads of people who drive at 17 and their insurance ranges from 1800-3000. So, why is it so high and will it actually be this price when I come to pay the insurance?""

How do I get affordable higher coverage health insurance?

I live in New York. I'm 22. I was on my college insurance plan, but I lost it when I went on medical leave. I had an extension plan, but that also expired. I have no job because I'm too sick to work. If I would go back to college before I got a job. Right now, I'm on a strictly emergency health care policy with no preventive care that runs me about $188 a month. I need more coverage though. The problem is that I'm not eligible for most plans because I don't work. For the coverage I need, it will cost over $1,500 a month. I can't afford that, I don't have income. What do I do? *Before my college plan expired, I was going to doctors. I am diagnosed with POTS, and I was having sleep studies where I was being treated for day time sleepiness. Never got an official diagnosis, but I probably have Idiopathic Hypersomina. Both of these require occasional tests and I will need to see doctors regularly until I have a treatment plan. I'm also a cancer survivor and need to go back in to get a battery of tests every year or so. Out of pocket, just a an office visit cost around several hundred dollars. (I have no lapse in coverage.)""

insurance quotes for salons

insurance quotes for salons

Where to get cheap public liability insurance?

Please help !!! need cheap public liability insurance

Anyone have good materninty insurance?

HELP... Any advice on good maternity insurance that isn't sooo expensive!!!

Can anyone tell me the average cost of sr22 insurance in Arizona?

I've been searching the web and I can't seem to find the answer.

How much do you pay for car insurance?

How much do you pay monthly for car insurance? I need to buy a car soon. How much should I budget monthly for car insurance?

My car insurance went up 50 more dollars a month. They said it's an increase in Florida ?

Do any one know where I can get some good reasonable car insurance

What is the best / most reliable life insurance company?

I am a healthy 18 year old. Soon to move out of home and onto college. I plan for the future. I know how important it is to pre plan, I myself and going into the funeral business. What Life Insurance company offers affordable and reliable policies of $100,000 for a healthy young 18 year old male? How much would the monthly premium cost?""

Cheap cars with a nice interior??????????

Hey im 18 and hoping to buy my first car soon (Living inthe uk) I'll probably buy a used car too I want a car thats cheap to run, cheap insurance, etc But with a nice interior :) This cars interior is perfect! http://www.zcars.com.au/images/2009-honda-accord-euro-interior22.jpg Can you guys reccomend any?""

Cheap auto insurance online?

Where can I get the cheapest online auto insurance?

Anyone no any cheap insurance companys for new young drivers ?

Anyone no any cheap insurance companys for new young drivers ?

Car insurance question?

okay my boyfriend just got his drivers license today..he doesnt have a car yet and he wants to be able to drive my grandmas car to work whenever he can but she says he cant because hes not on her insurance. Does it matter whether or not hes on her insurance? what could happen?

Having a hard time to find affordable health insurance?

I just need a simple surgery on both my ears. About a year ago I developed a keloid on both ears. I know they can get bigger so I want to get it fixed before it looks like a grape behind my ear. My biggest problem is in finding affordable health insurance. Can anyone tell me a good site to go to for affordable health insurance? All answers would be greatly appreciated.

What's the absolute cheapest car insurance company in Illinois?

What's the absolute cheapest car insurance company in Illinois?

I need help with my car insurance?

Middle aged female (mid fifties), have had comprehensive car insurance 8 years no claim but current insurers now charging me nearly 500/annum.Insurance runs out 30th october 08. Any suggestions for cheap car insurance companies (in England please) for Honda Accord V Tec (W Reg). Thanks""

WIll my mom know if i go to planned parenthood under her insurance?

I am 18 years old and under my mom's insurance. I want to go to planned parenthood, but don't want her to find out. I can't afford to pay on my own, but if i use the insurance, would the insurance company notify her?""

High deductible home insurance: what company offers the highest deductible?

I'm looking for an A+ rated home insurance company that might offer a $10,000 or even $20,000 deductible.""

National insurance number

I know you can get your national insurance number before your 16 , does this mean you can apply for a job as soon as you get you national insurance number , even if you are still 15 ?""

Help for purchasing Private Health Insurance?

I am self-employed and need to purchase Health Insurance. I've talked to sales people from Kaiser and some other companies-- but they all seem shady and they don't really seem to know what they're doing. Do you guys know of any insurance companies that you're happy with? Like good customer service-- happy with everything? Please let me know the names of the companies and a phone number I can call. Preferably in California... Thanks...

When do I get my money back from life insurance?

I was on life insurance since I was a baby I'm 21 now but how long will it take for me to get my check?

I hit someones car who doesn't have car insurance?

so at school in the parking lot i hit a parked car and left it there. a hit and run i guess. i told someone who told the girl. so she told me she would go halfs with me on the damages. the damages is $1,000. i asked her again if she would go halfs with me and she said she couldnt. i dont have $1000 and i found out she doesnt even have car insurance (through someone else). i live in MA and its illegal if you dont have car insurance. your license will be suspended. so im trying to get her to admit that she doesnt have car insurance. so then what do i do? any advice?""

Cheap motorcycle insurance company for young riders?

Anyone recommend any companies? I have blasted a fair few, including BikeDevil and Lexham (Lexham is in the lead though it does have a 600 excess). If you know any good companies of which are cheap please let me know, as being 17 makes insurance hard to find. Thanks""

I drive without insurance and got a speeding ticket ...?

Okay guys, I'm in a very tough situation right here. & before I get to the question, Yes I know I was stupid and I have learned my lesson. Okay, I'm 18 years old and had my license for almost a year now. My dad lets me drive his car (which is under his and my moms name) ... he knows I don't have insurance and still lets me drive (I guess it's because he's too cheap at the moment) ... One day I was coming back from college and got on the interstate to get home faster. Speed limit was 55mph but I ended up going 78mph (I live in Virginia by the way) ... Luckily the cop didn't mark me for reckless driving, just speeding. I showed him my registration and stuff during the time I got stopped but he didn't say anything about me having no insurance. I checked online and my fine is $200 for speeding ... My question is whose insurance will go up?? I don't have insurance ... will I get in trouble? I didn't tell my dad yet because he'll kill me. Thanks.""

How much does motorcycle insurance typically cost in Ontario?

I'm a student and I can't afford to keep a car, with the gas and insurance costs, and a car is expensive. But a motorcycle I can afford for the warmer months. All i don't know is insurance prices, so how much is it usually around?""

Can anyone give me an estimate on how much insurance would be on this car for an 18 year old?

http://www.arnoldclark.com/detail.html?ac_reg=cc_z7zzceuy0c1uz99c&$ac_branch=&$ac_min=&$ac_variant=&$ac_trans=&$ac_type=&$ac_model=Z4&$ac_body=Convertible&$ac_doors=&$ac_max=&$ac_year=&$ac_cc=&$ac_fuel=&$ac_color=&$ac_miles=&$get_results=View%201%20Cars&$ac_make=BMW&$ac_sr=0&$ac_pp=10 I'm 18, and am considering buying this car. I'm not naive, I am aware the insurance will be very high as I'm a teenager and it's a sports car, but is there anyone here who works in the car insurance industry who can give me an estimate on how much insurance would cost me a year?""

What's the cheapest car insurance rates?

I wanna know the absolute cheapest car insurance someone you know pays and what their life situation is. I'm just curious where I would have to be in life in order to get the cheapest ...show more

Insurance for a motor bike or scooter?

Hey there, Im 19 years old and currently a student. I am looking to purchase a motorbike, but will probably buy a scooter instead since its cheaper and easier to get used to and ride. But the problem is, im not sure how insurance works on scooters as well as the legalities of actually riding them. So where could I get my scooter insured, on average how much would it cost, do I need any licences or lessons, etc...? Help!""

insurance quotes for salons

insurance quotes for salons

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/so-confused-life-insurance-term-whole-i-need-help-logan-peters/"

[just-chats]

I just took a big Geometry test and spent 7 hours on it. (This week was finals week in my online school.) I was shaking, I cried about two times, and every second I was taking it, I had to assure myself that I would be okay. I don't think I did very well, and my average grade may drop from an A to a B. I'm not really worried too too much about the last bit, but even though I finished all my school for today, I still feel a bit shaken up? Could you help me feel a bit better? (100% truthful btw.)

Oh my, are you okay? I think you need to take some time to relax and calm yourself down, it’s really generic advice but listening to music, watching my favorite movies/shows/youtube videos, drawing, and dancing calm me down when stressed.

I’ll try my best to cheer you up though, even if it probably won’t help….

This is going to be a long post btw.

I’m gonna talk about my exam week because it was pretty chill for once.

While monday was a regular day, Tuesday was when exams actually started and it was only 0 hour and 6th period, earth and space, (there’s 7 periods by the way) so the rest of the classes were shorten by a few minutes, and after I turned my paper in I had my mom sign me out, but no the teacher lady just HAD to be extra and have me send it over email even when she told us to never send her emails ever. After complaining for 20 minutes I had it sent and was enjoying my time at home.

Oh and by the way, after we take our 2 hour exam in that class we don’t have to go back.

Wednesday was 5th and 7th period, I have art 5th period and I was just telling some of my life stories to a new friend I made last week and, after sharing a hella embarrassing story involving me and another guy in the same class (if you wanna know about that one just let me know, it’ll prolly make you feel better knowing of my suffering) we exchanged some playful bants while teasing each other before it was time to go.

I didn’t have a 7th period, with it being my off period, so I went home after that too.

Yesterday was 1st and 3rd period exams with only 2nd and 4th remaining so while exams were 2 hours long the “regular” classes were an hour and five minutes and I had to stay the whole day because of how the schedule was.

2nd period started the day and I talked about prom dresses, some funny memes, and what movies I should watch over Christmas break with a couple of friends before going to 3rd.

3rd period I also had art (if you couldn’t tell tell, I’m an art kid) and I was with a close friend of mine. There was a sorta “party” thing going on and it was pretty chill, I still did my art work but I gotta admit it got pretty boring sitting in the same room I spent two hours in the day before.

4th period I have dual credit government and lemme tell you, I’m a very smart kid but that shit is difficult. It’s online and while it’s not new to me this class was a struggle because: you gotta take your own notes, the teacher is a biased republican, and her grading system is all messed up. Yesterday I took the chance, while having 65 minutes in there, to take my final quiz. I ended up getting a 76 on the quiz and in the class but I don’t even care anymore, it’s over and next semester is economics.

The last class of the day was 1st, which is college algebra, the good thing about this class is that even though it’s online there’s a teacher to teach you. We took our final exam for the class and I think I got and 80-something on that but my grade still remained an A so I’m happy about that. Hoping that next semester I can do college statistics instead of pre cal.

Today is supposed to be a late start and early release because its only 2nd and 4th period. My second period is AP English IV and 4th, as I said earlier, is dual credit government. My English teacher said we didn’t have a final this semester and I finished my government class yesterday so guess what? My tired ass stayed home.

I still woke up at my usual time because of that internal clock thing but as I’m typing this its 8:40AM and I am planning to have a quiet, relaxing day to congratulate myself on a good semester filled with As and B+s, with that one stray C.

So yeah, that was my finals week as a whole and I’m not even sure if I made you feel better, or just told you about my experiences this past week. If you’re still feeling upset just ask to hear that awkward experience I was talking about earlier, that’s sure to bring a laugh outta you.