#IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR A HOODIE FOR WHAT SEEMS LIKE HOURS

[fredswrite]

SUMMARY: Stephen forgot about your anniversary, but he didn’t forgot how good you felt.

A/N: Ive been so obsessed over Stephen recently, I’m so sorry this is very long 😓

WC: 4.5k

WARNING: piv, shower sex, pet names, Stephen is so needy and desperate, handjob, f!reader, smut MDNI!! YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN MEDIA CONSOMMATION

MLIST

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

Stephen was a clever man, constantly innovating and thinking about ideas for the magazine. His ability to think on his feet was truly remarkable and a valuable asset for a journalist.

Whenever Stephen had writer's block, he transformed into a different person. He secluded himself in the office, emerging only to eat and drink or use the restroom. It felt as though he wasn't even in the apartment with you.

As Stephen's girlfriend, you took it upon yourself to help him as often as you could. However, he has kept himself locked up in his office for almost two whole days and didn't even realize he missed your three-year anniversary.

It was time to bring him out again. You couldn't just tell him what he missed, but to know he ignored the date was also heartbreaking.

You knocked firmly on the door before striding in. Balancing a plate with a peanut butter sandwich and some orange quarter, you were determined to get him to eat and talk to you. It wasn't a full meal, but hopefully he was going to eat it and have a talk with you.

"Steve, I have a snack for you," you said softly, trying to break Stephen's focus on the computer screen. He let out a small sigh, adjusting his glasses before finally turning to recognize you.

"Darling, I'm busy right now. Please just place the plate next to me and leave me. I'm alright, just lost in my thoughts," he responded with a hint of exasperation in his tone. He quickly returned his attention to the computer screen and resumed his reading.

"You’ve been in here for two days." You whispered, worried for him.

���I’m well aware of how long I’ve been in here,” Stephen replied with sarcastic irritation, still gazing at his computer screen. He was searching through different articles and stories for the upcoming pitch. He was never angry usually, mostly insecure. Constantly trying to make everyone love him.

“I have to find something before it’s too late. Stop worrying and go do something else.” Stephen had a habit of ignoring you during these writer’s block moments, which led to many arguments over the years.

"Right, sorry." You muttered as you retraced your steps, letting the door slam shut with more force than expected. All you wanted was to offer your help, but he seemed to throw out your efforts.

As soon as you shut the door, you could hear Stephen sigh in annoyance, pinching the space between his eyebrows with two fingers. He hated when you got all silent and quiet whenever he was like this, but he knew his work was more important in moments like these.

A few hours passed, and the only sound coming from the office was that of the keyboard typing and the mouse clicking. Soon, Stephen started to grumble out of frustration. He leaned back in his chair, pushing up his glasses before looking at the closed door. He was wondering what you had been doing.

It was midnight, and he remained secluded, failing to acknowledge the significance of your special date. You have shared three years of love, yet for the second time in three years, he has forgotten. You were eating the cake you bought, sitting alone in the kitchen. You had taken a slice, but your appetite was long gone.

Sweet and silent tears rolled down your cheeks to your plate. You tried to wipe them away with the sleeves of your hoodie, but you finished by letting them roll down. He didn't even remember, nor have he did anything about it.

Stephen had lost all track of time, only thinking of the pitch that was coming up. His girlfriend was the last thing on his mind at the moment, even if it was your three year anniversary.

He sat in his office for a couple more minutes before slowly sitting up. His back was hurting from being in that position for so long, and he was beginning to feel hungry and dehydrated. He had eaten the sandwich, yet that was a long time ago.

He slowly stood up from his desk, heading to the kitchen. The lights in the apartment were dimmed, but he could still see you sitting by yourself with an empty plate.

He walked into the kitchen, leaning up against the wall as he looked at you. He took in your tired and solemn expression, wondering why you were crying. He knew he was cold during writer's block, but to make you cry? He must have made you mad.

He crossed his arms and tilted his head, looking at you curiously before he spoke. “Why are you crying?” he asked bluntly, not realizing what day it was at all.

"Why am I crying?" you scoffed, rising from your chair. "Why am I crying?!" you repeated, the anguish evident in your voice. You walked away and locked yourself in the bathroom. It was your time to be left alone.

He rolled his eyes as you walked away from him and entered the bathroom. Stephen knew you well enough to know that you were upset about something, but he had no idea what. He stood by the bathroom door, listening to you.

“Come on. Open the door. I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.” He said, trying to keep himself from getting irritated again.

"Look at the fucking date."

Stephen raised an eyebrow as you yelled from the bathroom. He was confused until your words registered in his mind, and he went silent for a moment. You never cursed around him, he was nervous, to say the least.

He let out a breath and looked at the calendar. It finally dawned on him. It was your anniversary today. He groaned and rested his forehead against the door in slight annoyance, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Open the door, princess. Please?” Stephen asked you, a bit of a pleading tone in his voice. He felt guilty for being so dismissive of you, letting work and writer’s block get in the way of your anniversary. He knew forgot about it last year too, and it made him feel even worse.

"Leave me alone Steve, you locked yourself all day.".

He sighed from behind the door, banging his head against it in annoyance. He hated it when you got mad around him, but he knew it was his fault.

“You know I’m going through writer’s block. I need to find something new for this critique. It’s my job.” He retorted, trying to make you understand his trouble.

"It’s always the same excuse, you told me you forgot because of your writer's block. It’s always the same, I know your job’s important but I am too!"

He frowned as you retorted and called him out on his previous behaviour. It was true, but he didn’t want to admit to it. He didn’t want to admit that he had prioritized work over you on meaningful days.

“You know how important my job is to me, darling. I can’t control when I get writer’s block. That’s just how it is.” He said, a bit of a snappy tone in his tone.

"I know that! But you don’t have to be so damn cold when you have it." You let out, sitting at edge of the bathtub.

He sighed in despair, leaning his forehead against the door. His back was starting to hurt from hunching over his desk all day.

“I’m not purposely being cold to you. I’m just trying to find an idea. You know how I am when I get like this, I get super focused on writing.”

Stephen gently knocked on the door. “Please, just come out. I know you’re mad at me, I just want to talk to you face to face.”

He took you a lot to stand up and carefully undo the lock restraining the door, soon enough you were back in your sitting position. You could never stay mad at him for so long, that’s just how it was.

He quietly opened the door and took in your expression, feeling even more guilty for making you so upset. He could never handle it when you were like this. He slowly walked over and sat down next to you on the bathtub. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, holding you gently but making sure you couldn’t pull away.

“Are you mad at me?” Stephen asked in a quiet voice, stating the obvious.

"Of course I am!" You held his gaze for a moment as he acknowledged your eyes gleaming with tears.

He sighed calmly and looked at you with a tired expression. He knew he had messed up, prioritizing work over you. But he was going through writer’s block and needed something for the pitch.

“I know, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I upset you. But I have to find something to write about. It’s my job, baby. You know that.” He said, trying to use that as an explanation once again, in hopes that you’d understand. He gripped your hand, pressing gentle kisses alongside your knuckles.

He squeezed your wrist gently, silently begging for you to understand. He hated seeing you upset, especially since it was almost always his fault. And he hated being reminded he was was im the wrong.

Stephen took a small breath and continued, his tone softer. “I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to forget our anniversary, I just..” he paused, trying to find the right words, “got so caught up with everything.”

He gently pulled you closer as he let go of your hand, resting his forehead against yours. Stephen softly stroked your arm, his mind racing with different ways to apologize to you. “I didn’t mean to push you away. I just get so hyper-focused when I’m trying to find a new idea. I know I’m terrible at dealing with it, but please baby, don't be mad..”

You couldn't find the words to answer and you just gently nodded, whipping your tears away. The slight touch of mascara you applied this morning ran alongside your tears.

He could see the dejection and disappointment on your face and it hurt him. He hated that he had made you feel like this. Stephen shifted positions, turning to face you properly before he spoke.

“You’re upset about more than just me forgetting our anniversary, aren’t you?” He asked softly, still rubbing your arm comfortingly.

He knew you well enough to tell that you had more to say, even if you weren’t saying it aloud. He knew your body language, and how everything worked. He could tell when you were holding back from saying something, and you were holding something back.

He gently squeezed your arm, a silent prompt to speak up and tell him what was on your mind. After a moment of silence, he spoke up again, his voice gentle.

“Come on, sweetheart. Tell me what’s wrong. Please?”

"You always seem to love your work more than me." You knew it wasn't entirely accurate, but it wasn't entirely false either. He frowned as you spoke, biting the inside of his cheek in irritation. He didn’t appreciate that you kept bringing up him ignoring you for his job.

“That’s not true, and you know it.” He let out, slightly troubled.

"But it sure seem like it." You added.

His irritation subsided after a moment and he sighed. He knew you weren’t technically wrong and that made him feel more guilty.

“I.. I understand that, and you’re kinda right.. But you gotta know, my work is all I ever had. I can’t risk loosing my job because I didn’t write in time."

"I know, but you won’t lose your job for that."

He ignored your last statement, since apparently that‘s what he was good at recently.He let go of your arm and gently cupped your face, lifting your head gently so that he could meet your gaze.

“Sometimes I do get hyper-focused on my work and forget about other things, like our anniversary. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I do.” He said, holding your face in his hands, the urge to kiss you.

"I love you too, that’s the problem." You tried to look down, but his grip remained still on your chin.

Stephen moved closer to you, grabbing your hips and tugging you onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close to him. He nuzzled his face into your shoulder, taking in the warmth of your body.

“I know I messed up and I need to make up for forgetting our anniversary. So, I have a proposition for you, my love.” He murmured into your shoulder, holding you tight against him.

"What proposition?" You asked, intrigued.

He hummed against your shoulder before replying. “I’ll promise to set aside my work, all my research and computer work, for the rest of the night. In return, I just want you to help me relax. No more tears, I hate seeing you cry.”

"What do you mean?" You questionnée, even though you knew damn well what he meant.

He leaned back a bit and met your gaze. He smiled gently before replying, one hand moving to your waist.

“I just want you to be with me for the rest of the night. Cuddle with me, make me feel good and loved. I need to feel like I have some sort of. I don’t know, intimacy, again. I need you to help me with that.”

"Tomorrow is Saturday, ditch work tomorrow spend the day with me." You asked taking his hand, hoping you could convince him. After two days of ignoring you, even he missed being near his loved one.

He smiled again as you took his hand in yours, squeezing gently. Stephen nodded in agreement, bringing your hand to his lips and gently kissing your pulse point.

“I promise I’ll spend tomorrow hanging out with you, baby.” He said, holding your hand against his chest.

"You should take a shower before bed." You giggled, finally finding something positive in all that pain.

He gave a small laugh and nodded. Stephen could tell you had slightly calmed down. He liked that he was able to make you not so upset. "I don’t stink!" He let out and sniffed his armpit before making a disgusted expression.

"Yeah, alright. I will.” He said with a small grin as he moved his hands down to your hips. His hands stayed on your hips and he let his thumbs rub small, gentle circles on your skin.

“Come with me into the shower, please? You can wash my hair.” He said, his voice suddenly becoming a bit more needy. He knew how much you loved his hair and playing with his curls and the invitation was too good to refuse.

"I’ll use my strawberry shampoo." You said, slowly unbuttoning his blue shirt. He smiled, tilting his head to nuzzle your neck gently.

“My favorite.” He mumbled against your skin, placing a gentle kiss on the side of your throat.

"Start the shower," you started as you sat up from his lap, "I’ll come in soon." You left the bathroom leaving him hard on the spot. He watched your back as you closed the door behind you, he had no idea where you were going, but he continued taking down his clothes. He placed his glasses on the side of the sink, where he always placed them.

He watched you leave the bathroom and bit the inside of his cheek, feeling a bit excited by your words and the feeling of seeing you walk away. Stephen started the shower and waited, knowing you were up to something. He was hoping it was a pleasant surprise; he was craving your touch now.

He stood in the warm water flowing from the shower head, his mind racing. He wanted you to come in and help him and touch him. He wanted to feel your hands on his dick, running over his stomach. He wanted to feel you under the warm, streaming water. His forehead met with the glass door, as his hand waited for you on his thigh.

He huffed and bit back a small moan, feeling impatient and wanting you to join him. He closed his eyes and placed his left hand against the shower wall, bracing himself. He felt a bit antsy, wondering what was taking so long for you to arrive.

He wanted you to come get in the shower with him and touch him, so he called out from inside the shower. “How long are you going to make me wait, babe?”

Little did he know you were waiting on the other side of the door, oblivious teasing him for the two days he ignored you. "Oh who knows? Maybe two days, just like you did?"

He opened his eyes and groaned, knowing you were getting revenge against him for neglecting you for the past two days. He leaned his forehead against the shower door, sighing.

“That’s not fair, baby..” he whined from behind the door, wanting you to come into the shower.

"Was is fair that you forgot our anniversary?"

He grunted again and hung his head. He knew you had a point. It wasn’t fair that he forgot your anniversary.

“No, it wasn’t fair. I know it wasn’t fair and I don’t deserve it, but please.. I really need you in here with me.” He said, knowing he was begging.

“Please, I need you.. I’ll do anything you want, just come in the shower with me.” He pleaded, hoping you would join.

"God, you’re desperate," you said as you swung open the door, seeing his figure pressed against the glass.

His eyes shot open as the glass door suddenly opened. He was faced with your body, standing in the entrance of the shower room. Stephen let out a shaky breath, wanting you so badly. He held out a hand to you, looking at you with pleading eyes.

“Please. Need you, now.”

You clothes were soon on the ground next to his as he watched with an intense gaze. He watched you undress, his mind going blank as he observed your body. He felt his breath catch in his throat, the sight exciting him. He reached out to you, grabbing your wrist and yanking you into the shower with him.

Feeling you in the shower with him, he quickly turned you around before pinning you against the shower wall. He caged you in, his hands on the wall on either side of your head.

Stephen loomed over you, leaning down to capture your lips in a needy kiss. You right hand found its way to his curls, holding them firmly. Your other one flew down to his stomach and lower.

He immediately let out a whine at the feeling of your hands on his stomach. His body was craving your touch, and the feeling of your hand slowly moving down his body felt incredible.

He broke the kiss, his breathing heavy and he was becoming more desperate. He pressed his body against yours, wanting to feel as much skin on skin contact as possible.

Your hand was quick to reach his dick, stocking it from the tip. He gasped and his eyes shut closed tightly. He leaned forwards, letting his head fall into the crook of your neck and he let out a soft moan.

Stephen couldn’t help it. Just the simple touch of your hand made him so worked up. It was overwhelming him, in the best way possible.

He took a shaky breath and spoke against your neck. “Please..”

Stephen’s voice was soft and needy in your ear. He slowly began to press kisses into your neck, his lips gently brushing over your wet skin. His voice was desperate as he spoke.

“Need more, please. please.”

"Like that?" You asked teasingly as your hand moved in a faster motion around his length. He whimpered and nodded, his body pressing further against yours. His hand clutched onto the shower wall, trying to keep his knees from giving out. The feeling of your hand on him was overwhelming and he wanted so much more.

“Yes, please don’t stop."

His voice was almost a whine at this point and he couldn’t handle the sensations. It was almost too much, but it didn’t take much to push him completely over the edge. The sensation in his lower stomach rose. Under all his mess, you could feel yourself heated up as your pussy clenched over nothing.

Stephen pulled his head back so he could look at you, his eyes were dark and pleading. Soft tears were forming in the bridge of his eyes, hidden by the water of the shower.

“Baby… more, please. I’m begging..”

He couldn’t form proper sentences and that’s when you knew you had to let go. Your hand stopped their motion as you watched him get the orgasm he craved so badly denied.

He whined at the sudden loss of stimulation, his grip on the shower wall tightening as his legs trembled. He whimpered and looked at you with pleading eyes, frustrated, wanting you to continue. His grip changed to hold your waist with both his hands. He was so close, but you just had to tease him.

He was so frustrated and worked up that he couldn’t think straight. It took a moment for him to get coherent sentences out as his chest rose up and down.

“Why’d you stop? I was so close. I was almost there, you know I was..”

You cupped his cheeks with your fingers, gently passing over his lips easily folding his mouth open. "Don’t you rather cum in me than on my hand, sweet boy?"

The words went straight to his brain sending him in heaven, the thought making him moan and shudder.

“I... I do, yes I do..” He mumbled, his knees still feeling weak from the stimulation and the lack of it.

“Please, can I..?” He asked, grabbing your hip and tugging you closer to him.

He let out a shaky breath as you spoke into his ear, his entire body being sent into overdrive. Your words and gentle kisses on his jaw drove him crazy.

"Make it up for our anniversary." You whispered in his ear giving his jawline a few kisses.

At your words, he grabbed your hips and positioned himself between your legs. He wanted to do anything and everything to make up forgetting your anniversary.

Stephen leaned down and pressed his forehead on your shoulder, trying to compose himself enough to speak. He slowly pushed himself into you, letting out a low moan as he did. You could practically feel his tension in the air, he needed you so badly.

He held onto your hips and leaned against you, unable to form words in his blissed out state. The feeling of you around him was intense and overwhelming, and his mind was hazy.

He began to slowly move his dick in you. His body was taking over his brain, his focus entirely on you and the sensations. He was trying to move at a slow pace, but he was so worked up it was hard to keep a rhythm going.

He groaned against you, his breaths coming out in soft pants. He couldn’t never get bored of you clenching around him and he didn’t know how he was going to hold it together any longer.

“Please... I can’t… too good...” he whined in between breaths.

"You’re doing so well Steve." You moved with him, your hips meeting his pace, even faster. Your hands were still in his curls as you pulled his face to yours, kissing him in an angry kiss.

The praise and feeling of your kiss had him moaning against your lips as he tried to maintain any semblance of speed in his movement. Each time he moved was bringing him closer and closer to the edge, orgasm building within him again. He felt like he was going to explode.

As he kissed you back, he moved his hand to the back of your hips and held you against him. He groaned as he spoke, his voice shaky and breathless.

“I’m so close...” He mumbled against your lips, his breaths coming out in short stutters. You could sence it by the way his cock twitched on your walls.

He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer, the feeling was too intense and he was already so worked up before. His body was begging him to let go.

"Just keep it in for me alright? Don’t let go before I tell you." You asked, wanting to tease him to the end and to get your release as well.

He bit his lip in an effort to hold back a whine at your words and the fact that you were still teasing him. He knew you had a plan to get your orgasm, and he was desperate for his own, but he wanted to please you as much as possible. After all it was his fault if you were mad.

“I’ll try.. I’ll try to hold it for you… please"

He was on the edge of being overwhelmed, the need to release and let go nearly drowning him. Feeling you around him and listening to you speak, the knot was very close to cracking.

He needed you to give him some sort of permission, something to let him know he was allowed to finally let go. You felt yourself getting closer as well, but his pace getting sloppier didn’t help so you trusted harder again.

"Not till I tell you." You repeated.

He let out another whine at your words, feeling himself becoming unraveled. Trying to hold back from letting himself go and give him what he wanted so badly was torture.

“I need to.. I’m not… I’m not going to be able to… please…" He managed to get out, his words a jumbled mess. You were right on edge by seeing the state he was getting in, the show he was putting for you. He may have missed your special date, that was a good gift.

"Go on."

As soon as the words were out of your mouth, he lost all control. He came with a guttural moan, his body shaking and he clung onto you, his breaths coming out in short gasps.

Stephen couldn’t think or do anything except hold onto you and try to get his bearings. He pressed his forehead against your shoulder, still trembling from his orgasm.

His arms wrapped around your waist in a tight grip, holding you against him. He was panting and trying to get his breathing back to normal which would probably take a while. It took several moments for him to speak, his mind still swimming.

“That.. that was… holy…”

You let go of his grip, leaving the shower to grab a towel and wrap yourself in it. Before leaving him all alone again, you whispered just loud enough so he would hear it.

"Happy anniversary."

[mattsrod]

PLEASE WRITE SUBMISSIVE VIRGIN MATT SMUT I AM BEGGING YOU. also please no mommy kink or anything like that, maybe matt could have a praise kink BUT PLEASE I WILL LITERALLY CRY IF YOU DONT WRITE THIS 🤗

- ; MATTHEW STURNIOLO ; -

' PLEASE ? '

✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪

- ; warnings - smut (obvi), sub!matt, hand jobs, slight dom!reader(?), matts a virgin, reader is experienced, fluff in the beginning, kind of long, blowjob, cum swallowing.

- ; 11:02 am

; your pov

ive been lying in bed for what seems like an eternity, waiting for matt to wake up. my hair is a mess, i have the most miss-matched pyjamas on, and i feel like shit.

i texted nick not too long ago, asking if he wanted to get something to eat.

no reply, he was probably sleeping too.

all I want to do was get ready for the day with my boyfriend.

I want to push gentle kisses into his neck and tell him how pretty he looks as he brushes his teeth.

but he has other plans. and those plans probably consisted of sleeping until 2pm.

and im not gonna accept that.

"matt." I brush my warm fingertips against his exposed arm. the light shining through my window is almost directly in his eyes.

he pulls the covers over his head. "c'mon matt." i coo once more. he let out a groan, but he is so tired that it comes out sounding like more of a whine.

I giggle, to which matt lets out a real groan at.

"matthew c'mon, ive been waiting for you to wake up for like, an hour."

I slowly grip the covers and swiftly rip them off of him in an attempt to catch him off-guard, but when I look at him in the eyes, hes already looking directly at me with a goofy smile and wide eyes.

"Jesus Christ-" I mutter, and matt chuckles slightly, his eyes now scrunching into his smile instead of widened in an attempt to scare me.

"i knew you were awake, now c'mon, get dressed or something."

matts stuffed animal, a small pug, fell off of the bed as I stood up and started walking to the bathroom.

; matts pov

"you're just gonna walk away and not pick him up?!" I meekly shouted to you; my voice is still laced with drowsiness.

you turned around, leaning against the bathroom door frame as you spoke "get dressed and i'll pick him up, i wanna go out for lunch or something." you promptly turned around and shut the door behind you after saying that.

"okay mrs. productive..." I muttered under my breath and look at your makeup and clothes that were scattered around my bedroom.

"i can hear you jackass!!" your voice sounded muffled through the bathroom wall, but I still hear you loud and clear.

I slowly stood up and put my feel on the cold, wooden floor. I then stretched and carelessly grabbed one of the many hoodies off of my floor, not caring to put pants on.

I walked over to the bathroom door and knocked in a rythm that you knew all too well.

you open the door, and your hair looks absolutely beautiful.

"do you need something or do you just wanna stare at me?" i hear you say bluntly, which snaps me back to reality.

i didnt really get snapped back into reality, though.

i was really in a reality where you were slowly kissing up my thigh, making your way up to my manhood as i brushed your beautiful hair out of the way so i could see your gorgeous face better as you...

this is when i realize im getting hard.

and you are standing in front of me,

and i only have boxers on.

shit

; your pov

i dont realize it at first, but as matts face gets red i giggle and look down at the bulge that he is trying to cover up with his large hoodie.

"damn, am i really that hot?" i grab his hand that he is using to hug downwards on his hoodie and i pull him farther into the bathroom.

he started to fidget with his rings once i let go of his hand. he was looking down, avoiding eye contact with me.

"mattheww" i playfully coo, "look at me baby."

he still doesnt look up at me.

"are you embarrassed?" i ask him gently, receiving no response.

that answers my question.

"matt thats nothing to be ashamed of," i pause, thinking of what to say next, "shit, if i was guy i would have a raging boner all the time."

i guess this made matt feel better because he giggled, lifting his head slightly but still not looking at me.

"since you wont look at me.." i get on my knees. "im gonna look at you myself."

i look up at matts face and he flashes me a goofy smile.

i chuckle and grab his waist, moving him against the bathroom counter.

i moved my position on the floor, shuffling over to the bathroom mat, as the cold solid bathroom floor was making my knees ache already.

i dont break eye contact with matt as i do this.

i stare up at him with eyes full of lust, and i think he knows what i want.

and i think he knows what he wants.

; matts pov

your pupils are wide as i stare into your eyes.

ive never liked intense eye contact, but in this moment it couldnt be any hotter.

you bring your right hand up to the hem of my boxers, your left hand on my abdomen for support.

"can i?"

i nod quickly, squirming under your touch.

i squeeze my eyes shut and let out a sigh.

"im gonna need you to use your words, matt." my dick twitches at the sound of your voice, longing for some friction.

"yes, please, please touch me." i manage to mutter out.

you slowly take of my boxers agonizingly slow, and i inhale sharply as my dick springs up, the cold air hitting it.

you look at my cock and then back up at me.

i couldve folded right then and there.

my heart started racing as you brought your hand up to my tip, which was already leaking precum.

"so wet already mattie."

i nod, leaning my elbows against the sink for extra support.

you brought your manicured nail up to the slit, and dragged your nail across it gently, making my hips buck forward with every small touch.

the unfamiliar feeling gave me a warm feeling that slowly bubbled up in my stomach, starting in my lower stomach area, and pulsing through my dick as you slowly started stroking me from the base, all the way up to my tip.

my hips shuddered as you quickened your pace, and i throw my head back, letting out a quiet moan.

when i look back down you are already looking back up at me with your gorgeous eyes

; your pov

"you are so sensitive, babe." again, i got no reply.

was he that lost in the pleasure?

matt was squirming everytime i reached his swollen, sensitive tip, and i could tell he needed more.

"do you want my mouth matt?"

another nod.

i took my hand off of his dick, leaving it twitching and wet.

"what did i say about using your words, hm?" i put my hands on my knees.

"im sorry." he whined out, "i need your mouth on me. please, i need it so bad- i-"

i cut off matt by putting my tongue directly on his tip, kitten licking it many times before i actually took him in my mouth.

this time matt doesnt even make an attempt to cover up his moans.

he throws his head back once again moaning loudly and looking then looking down at me.

i took more of him in my mouth, swirling my tongue around his girthy member.

i start to bob my head up and down at a steady pace. i can tell matt is close.

; matts pov

i whimper slightly as i feel the warm, fuzzy feeling in my stomach start to get even more intense.

i lean harder against the counter and bring one of my supporting hands up to my mouth to hide the sounds i was making.

you take your lips off of my length for a moment, making my hips shutter, and also making the fuzzy feeling in my stomach abruptly stop. "let me hear your pretty sounds matt" you say.

i immediately put my hand back in its original position on the counter, taking it off of my mouth.

you position your lips with my cock again, making my cheeks heat up.

you lick a painfully long, but pleasurable stripe up my cock, grabbing the base of it with your hand.

i jolted forward which made you giggle.

"you are doing so good mattie."

you start working your hand around the base of my cock before taking me in your mouth.

i let out a loud moan at the sudden contact.

"n-need more." i mutter out

you hum onto my cock, pretending not to hear me.

"baby, i need more. please." i breath out, "faster, please!"

; your pov

i happily oblige to matts directions, going faster, using my hand to rub what i couldnt take in my mouth.

now i knew that matt was really close. his whimpers became consistent and the salty taste of precum was already filling my mouth.

matt let out a loud moan and the first rope of cum hit the back of my throat.

i moan onto his cock, licking up his warm seed.

"fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck" he sputtered out

he whimpered.

his hips were now shaking uncontrollably from all of the stimulation he was getting, so i took my hand off of the base of his cock and used it to hold his hips.

i slowly bob my head up and down, helping matt ride out his high.

"holy fucking shit." matt mutters, his hips jolt once more as i took my mouth off of him.

he looks down at me with a shocked expression, his cheeks are extremely red, and his hair was stuck to his forehead with sweat.

i looked up at him then stood up, trailing my hands up his waist as i do this, making him shiver.

"you did so fucking good," i kissed him hard on his lips, and he sighed into the kiss.

i took my lips off of his and looked into his eyes lovingly

"im so proud of you for telling me what you wanted, mattie"

he smiled and then rolled his eyes. "shut the fuck up or im gonna cum again."

--------------------------------------------------------

i like this but honestly, i dont know how to feel about the two povs thing. so lmk if u like it ! also, both of my previous works have 900+ likes, so thank u so much. i also hit 400 followers like what. ive only had this acc for a month. TY FOR READING !! if u have any requests please please send them in !

[sturnslcver]

ੈ✩‧₊˚ virulent love (series) ˚.°: ₊˚ ୨

— chris sturniolo x fem reader —

— warnings, drinking, smoking, pills!

a/n: couldn’t figure out what i wanted to do for chris and y/n’s meet cute so it is heavily based off of a real life book i read, but ive already finished the rest of the story/chapters and it is all my own original ideas! enjoy! :)

ੈ✩‧₊˚ ˚.°: ₊˚ ୨

i creep up the stairs in search for my brothers apartment door. this place seems more like a historic hotel than an apartment complex, with its expansive columns and marble floors. when arlo said i could stay with him after hearing about another one of moms manic episodes, i had no idea he lived like an actual adult. I thought it’d be more similar to the last time i visited him, right after i graduated from high school, back when he had first started dealing. however, that was four years ago and a two story skimpy complex ago. that’s kind of what i was expecting. i certainly wasn’t anticipating this orderly area in the middle of downtown massachusetts. I spent all of last week packing up everything i own from mom’s house back in florida. luckily, i don’t own much. but after taking a five hundred mile drive alone today, my exhaustion is pretty obvious in my reflection. my hair is in a unsecured knot on top of my head, held together by a pencil, since I couldn't find a hair tie while I was driving. i reach into my purse to find chapstick, hoping to recover my lips before they end up as weary-looking as the rest of me. I pull my phone out of my pocket and open up my messages to arlo.

i can't remember which apartment number he said was his. it’s either 1372 or 1374. maybe it's 1372? i come to a stop at 1372, because there's a guy passed out on the floor of the hallway, leaning against the door to 1374. please don't let it be 1374. i find the message on my phone and cringe. it's 1374. of course it is.

i walk slowly to the door, hoping I don't wake up the guy. his legs are sprawled out in front of him, and he's leaning with his back propped up against arlo’s door. his chin is tucked to his chest, and he's snoring. "excuse me" i say, my voice just above a whisper. he doesn't move. i lift my leg and poke his shoulder with my foot. "i need to get into this apartment." he rustles and then slowly opens his eyes and stares straight ahead at my legs. his eyes meet my knees, and his eyebrows furrow as he slowly leans forward with a deep scowl on his face. he lifts a hand and pokes my knee with his finger, almost as if he's never seen a knee before. he drops his hand, closes his eyes, and falls back asleep against the door. great. arlo won't be back until tomorrow, so i dial his number to see if this guy is someone i should be concerned about. “y/n?" he asks, answering his phone without a hello. "yep," i reply. "made it safe, but i can't get in because there's a drunk guy passed out at your front door." "thirteen seventy four?" he asks. "you sure you're at the right apartment?" "positive." "are you sure he's drunk?" "positive." "weird," he says. "what’s he wearing?" "why do you want to know what he's wearing?" "if he's wearing a yellow shirt and goggles on his head he’s probably the janitor. the janitor in our complex is homeless" this guy isn't wearing any type of goggles, but i can't help but notice that his jeans and black hoodie do fit him very nicely. "no goggles," i say. “can you get past him without waking him up?" "i’d have to move him. he’ll fall inside if I open the door." he’s quiet for a few seconds while he thinks. "go back downstairs and wait in the lobby until someone can let you in" i sigh, because ive been driving for six hours, and going all the way back downstairs is not something I feel like doing right now.

“just stay on the phone with me until I'm inside your apartment" i like my plan a lot better. i balance my phone against my ear with my shoulder and dig inside my purse for the key arlo sent me. i insert it into the lock and begin to open the door, but the drunk guy begins to fall backward with every inch the door opens. he groans, but his eyes don't open again. "it’s too bad he's wasted," i tell arlo. "he’s not bad-looking." "can you just get your ass inside and lock the door so i can hang up." i roll my eyes. i’m hoping things will be different between us now that mom’s in the hospital. she was always turning us against one another. for example, by the time i was eleven, i’d saved up three hundred dollars so that i could finally get a pet hamster. she ended up stealing it and spending it on pills. she told me arlo stole it.

i wrap my purse around my shoulder, but it gets caught on my suitcase handle, so i just let it fall to the floor. i keep my left hand wrapped tightly around the doorknob and hold the door shut so the guy won't fall completely into the apartment. i take my foot and press it against his shoulder, pushing him from the center of the doorway. he doesn't budge. “arlo, he's too heavy. i’m gonna have to hang up so I can use both hands." “no, don't hang up. just put the phone in your pocket, but don't hang up." i look down at the oversized shirt and leggings I have on. “no pockets. you’re going in the bra." arlo laughs as i pull the phone from my ear and shove it inside my bra. i remove the key from the lock and drop it toward my purse, but it misses and falls to the floor. i reach down to grab the drunk guy so I can move him out of the way. “okay" I say, struggling to pull him away from the center of the doorway. "sorry." i somehow manage to prop him up against the doorframe to prevent him from falling into the apartment, and then i push the door open farther and turn to get my things.

something warm wraps around my ankle. i freeze. i look down. “let go!" i yell, kicking at the hand that's gripping my ankle so tightly I'm pretty sure it might bruise. the drunk guy is looking up at me now, and his grip sends me falling backward into the apartment when I try to pull away from him. "i need to get in there” , he mutters, just as my butt meets the floor. he makes an attempt to push the apartment door open with his other hand, and this immediately sends me into panic mode. i pull my legs the rest of the way inside, and his hand comes with me. i use my free leg to kick the door shut, slamming it directly onto his wrist. “fuck!" he yells. he’s trying to pull his hand back into the hallway with him, but my foot is still pressing against the door. i release enough pressure for him to have his hand back, and then i immediately kick the door all the way shut.

i pull myself up and lock the door, the dead bolt, and the chain lock as quickly as i can. as soon as my heart rate begins to calm down, it starts to scream at me. my heart is actually screaming at me. in a deep male voice. It sounds like it's calling my name. arlo. i immediately look down at my chest and pull my phone out of my bra, then bring it up to my ear. "hello!" i wince, then pull the phone several inches from my ear. "i’m fine," i say, out of breath. "i’m inside. i locked the door." “okay" he says, relieved. "you scared me. what the hell happened?" “he was trying to get inside. i locked the door, though." i flip on the living-room light and take no more than three steps inside before i come to a halt. i slowly turn back toward the door after realizing what ive done. “arlo?" i pause. "i left a few things outside that i need. i would just grab them, but the drunk guy is still trying to get in, so there's no way I'm opening the door again. what do i do?” he’s silent for a few seconds. "what did you leave in the hallway?" i don't want to answer him, but i do. "my suitcase...and purse." “why the hell is your purse outside?" "i also left the key on the hallway floor." he doesn't even respond to that one. he just groans. "i’ll call chris and see if he's home yet. give me two minutes." "wait. who’s chris ?" "he lives across the hall. whatever you do, don't open the door again until i call you back." arlo hangs up, and i lean against his front door. i’ve lived in massachusetts all of thirty minutes. my phone rings. i slide my thumb across the screen and answer it.

"hey." "y/n?" "yeah?," i reply, wondering why he always double-checks to see if it's me. he called me, so who else would be answering it who sounds exactly like me? "i called chris." “good. is he gonna help me get my stuff?" "not exactly," arlo says. "i kind of need you to do me a huge favor." my head falls against the door again. i have a feeling the next few months are going to be full of inconvenient favors, since he knows he's doing me a huse one by letting me stay here. "what?" i ask him. "chris kind of needs your help." "the neighbor?" i pause as soon as it clicks, and i close my eyes. "arlo, please don't tell me the guy you called to protect me from the drunk guy is the drunk guy." arlo sighs. "i need you to unlock the door and let him in. let him crash on the couch. i’ll be there first thing in the morning. when he sobers up, he'll know where he is, and he'll go straight home." i shake my head. "what kind of apartment complex is this? should i prepare to be groped by drunk people every time I come home?" long pause. "he groped you?" "groped might be a bit strong. he did grab my ankle, though." arlo lets out a sigh. "just do this for me. call me back when you've got him and all your stuff inside." "fine." i groan, recognizing the worry in his voice.

i hang up on arlo and open the door. the drunk guy falls onto his shoulder, and his cell phone slips from his hand and lands on the floor next to his head. i flip him onto his back and look down at him. he cracks his eyes open and attempts to look up at me, but his eyelids fall shut again. "You're not arlo," he mutters. "no. i’m not. i’m your new neighbor." i lift him by his shoulders and try to get him to sit up, but he doesn't. i don't think he can, actually. how does a person even get this drunk? i grab his hands and pull him inch by inch into the apartment, stopping when he's just far enough inside for me to be able to close the door. i retrieve all of my things from outside the apartment, then shut and lock the front door. i grab a throw pillow from the couch, prop his head up, and roll him onto his side in case he pukes in his sleep. and that's all the help he's getting from me. when he's comfortably asleep in the middle of the living room floor, i leave him there while I look around the apartment.

the living room alone could fit three of the living rooms from arlos last apartment. arlo said he'd be back in the morning, so i’ll leave that to him. normally, i would be nervous about the fact that there's a stranger in the same apartment I'm in, but i have a feeling i don't need to worry. arlo would never ask me to help someone he felt might be a threat to me in any way. which confuses me, because if this is common behavior for chris, i’m surprised arlo asked me to bring him inside.

i head back to the living room to turn out the lights, but when ive rounded the corner, i come to an immediate halt. not only is chris up off the floor, but he's in the kitchen, with his head pressed against his arms and his arms folded on top of the kitchen counter. he’s seated on the edge of a bar stool, and he looks as if he's about to fall off it any second. i can't tell if he's sleeping again or just attempting to recover. "chris?" he doesn't move when i call his name, so i walk toward him and gently lay my hand on his shoulder to shake him awake. the second my fingers squeeze his shoulder, he gasps and sits up straight as if I just woke him from the middle of a dream. or a nightmare. immediately, he slides off the stool and onto very unstable legs. he begins to sway, so i throw his arm over my shoulder and try to walk him out of the kitchen. "come on." he drops his forehead to the side of my head and stumbles along with me, making it even harder to hold him up. we make it to the front of the couch, and i start to peel him off me. "okay, chris. whoever you are. just go to sleep." he falls onto the couch, but he doesn't let go of my shoulders. i fall with him and immediately attempt to pull away. i gently push him back into the couch, yanking my hand away. i lay his pillow down and urge him onto it. "go to sleep, chris," i say gently.

his eyelids are heavy and watering when he drops to the pillow. he grabs my hand and hums. his eyes fall shut again, and he releases a heavy sigh. i stare at him silently, allowing him to keep hold of my hand until he's quiet and still. i pull my hand away from his, but i stay by his side for a few minutes longer. even though he's asleep, he somehow still looks as if he's on edge. his eyebrows are furrowed, and his breathing is sporadic, failing to fall into a peaceful pattern. when he makes another half conscious effort to reach for my hand, i finally give in. i place my cheek on top of our hands and lean into the couch. i fall asleep on the floor next to him.

@sturnsmadison @ryli3sworld @sunnysturniolos @ariologyy @sturncakez @sturnsxplr-25 @nickmillersn1gf

[angelliicc]

xo, call me

“so if its feeling right

why should we say goodbye?”

masterlist

a/n hi guysss!! im back bc i finished my exams this week. im deadass tired and trying to not fall asleep. anyways enjoy

warnings not proofread, mentions of ex bf

| the final bell rang in bio, making your way to math class. you usually stayed on the 3rd floor, waiting for all the chaos on the staircases to die down. you wore a black sweatshirt, jeans, along with your black converse. you hair was half-up half-down with a red bow. as you were walking to math, your ex found you in the hallway. he had always been very clingy, never understanding.

“hey there pretty girl.” he said to you as he followed you down to the first floor. you got icked out immediately.

“leave me alone please.” you told him, attempting to walk faster.

“not when you look this beautiful.” he said, as he grabbed your arm to make you stay close to him.

“dont touch me!” you said in a stern tone, immediately making sure he released your arm. thankfully by your surprise, a girl was watching the whole time.

she had auburn hair that was up half-up half-down and went above her shoulders, green eyes, and freckles. she wore a hoodie with green parachute pants.

the way she saw the situation, she was immediately worried, so she decided to step in.

“the fuck you think you’re doing?” she said to the guy.

“talking to the prettiest girl i know.” he replied, looking straight into your eyes.

she wrapped her arm around your neck and shoulder. “a girl thats taken.”

you looked at her, “wait wh-?”

she gave you a look, basically telling you to shut up in a nice way. then it clicked.

“what your mouth next time you’re around her, or ill kick your ass. got it?” she repeated defensively.

the guy wasn’t scared, but annoyed. he left in defeat, a scoff leaving his mouth as he rolled his eyes.

“hope you didn’t mind. i didn’t like the way he talked to you. im ellie.” ellie said.

“no, thank you. i really appreciate it.” you told her.

on the outside, you looked fine. but on the inside, you we’re freaking out. not because of fear, but because of how brave she was. she did that, for you. for your safety. you blushed at the thought of her defending you again.

“how do you know him? seems like a bitch.” she asked, as you both walked down in the hallway.

“ex-boyfriend, sadly.” you replied. “but once again, i really thank you for helping me out there. do you mind if i get your number?” you didn’t think twice as the words left your lips.

“oh no, not at all.” she said as she handed you her phone to put your number in. “thanks”

“see you again sometime?” you asked nervously.

“yeah, see ya.”

your brain was still trying to comprehend and process what the fuck just happened, as everything happened so fast.

a few hours later the school day ended. you decided to text ellie.

r: “hii”

e: “heyy, how ru?”

r: “im good wbu?”

e: “tired”

r: “same.”

e: “dyk if you have any classes with me?”

r: “no not really, whats your schedule?”

ellie then sent a photo of each block that she had, 1-7.

r: “we have math and history together”

e: “i can finally have someone to talk to, lol”

r: “sameee”

e: “hey about earlier, sorry if i pushed a boundary i didn’t know about. i just didn’t like the way he talked to you, it just made my blood boil. if you don’t wanna talk to me anymore, i completely understand. i wont take it personal.”

r: “nonono, i really liked it that you stuck up for me. no ones ever done that for me before. and i do want to keep talking to you. you seem like a really cool person.”

e: “thank you, thats one of the best compliments ive received.”

r: “im gonna head to bed, but ill see you tomorrow! good night”

e: “night 💫”

as you put your phone away, it was hard to fall asleep. all you did was think about her. she was on your mind for that entire night. because what you both had, felt right.

weeks went by, and you guys became an incredible duo. you both were always together. you knew what made each other smile, happy, laugh, cry, become sad, and so much more.

finally, it was hoco week. you already knew what to wear, since the theme was ocean. as you got to school, ellie asked you the question that every student asked their peers. “are you going to homecoming?”

“yeah, i really wanna go. i already have my outfit. i dont have a date, but its fine.” you told her.

the bell rang, signaling for students to get to their first class. “ive got dance, ill see you later tho.” you told her

“peace, i got bio-med.” she replied.

block 1 officially ended, giving students a 15 minute passing period. you sat outside, waiting for ellie. “wheres this girl?” you thought. suddenly, a crowd began to form. you turned around and saw ellie standing infront of you, with a poster and flowers. everyone had their phones out, recording your answer and reaction.

your face lit up in shock, with you hands covering your face. will you be my supermodel for the weekend @ hoco? the poster said. “she remembered my fav artist, sza. and my fav flowers.” you thought. “yes!!” you said as you ran up to hug her.

“im not done.” she told you in your ears as you gave her a hug. “will you be my girlfriend?”

this moment couldn’t be real. it was all a dream. you were on cloud 9. you wanted someone to pinch you. “of course i will.” you replied as you gave her a kiss on her lips.

i’ve been everywhere, seen everyone

but what we got feels right.

[3liza]

re: delivering a baby, unlike the plane landing thing most people actually have a chance of being able to do this, not because it's easy but because the person actually giving birth is really doing most of the work here. TBH the biggest issues we get with BBAs are the fact that people get this idea that they need to be 'doing something' when, if someone's labour is progressing so quickly that there isn't time to get to a hospital/planned birthplace, the bus is basically driving itself at that point, and the best thing you can do is just try to get them to the safest, cleanest space available and stay with them. You don't need to like, put your hands up there (all you will do is introduce an infection risk) or pull the baby out of there (you will probably just give that kid a brachial plexus injury) and for the love of god, you do not need to cut the fucking cord as soon as baby is out. People seem to fixate on this even though, in most countries, delayed cord clamping is standard practice, but everyone's seen the tv or movie where people act like if you don't cut that cord immediately the baby is going to...idk, go back in? We've had a horror stories of even paramedics cutting cords and not clmaping the umbilical stump (that is now an open wound with thre huge vessels in it, guess what happens) or snapping cords by yanking on them, or in one case even causing a uterine inversion (basically what you think it is) by trying to pull out a placenta that had not yet detached from the uterine wall.

Fortunately, the births that happen that quickly are generally at lower risk of complications, for the person giving birth or baby - it's the ones that labour for days, or push for hours, where you're more likely to see babies that come out flat or don't transition well to breathing, or massive PPHs.

look "doctor" everyone knows that the umbilicus is basically a bungee cord and if you dont sever that thing asap the baby's gonna ricochet right back up there and make a bunch of gmod collision noises

no you're right, landing a plane is probably not the best comparison lol. i did really like that one story about the expectant mom who got lost on a hike and ended up successfully delivering the baby herself, including if im not mistaken successfully tying off the cord with a hoodie string or something and then chewing through it herself? i might have made up a false memory about the cord part but both she and the baby were completely fine even after being stuck in the wilderness for, iirc, several days. ive never been pregnant and probably never will be BUT that has always seemed like the ideal birthing environment for me, a person for whom the greatest risk to my mental health in that scenario is people fussing over me and telling me what to do in a maternity ward while im trying to concentrate (i dont actually believe this, i am sure in the event i got pregnant i would prefer to make choices that minimized the risk of injury to myself and the baby)

[writingjourney]

Honey and Venom | Papa IV x f!Reader

Or: The four times you fell for your best friend without noticing and the one time you did.

Summary: You’ve been Copia’s best friend for years, unaware of just how deep your feelings go. It's only when he shows you his new stage outfit, that you realise friendship is not all that you feel for him. A difficult conversation leads to confessions… and exploring how easily (or not) the outfit can be removed.

Content: ~9.5k words (i know, i'm sorry), lots of fluff and pining, kinda slow-burn, best friends to lovers, part v contains smut (18+ only, MDNI, mostly sweet, some marking, oral sex f receiving, vaginal sex, nothing too specific) tldr: two oblivious idiots in love

Ao3 link – Masterlist

I.

The first time you fall for your best friend without noticing it… well, you have technically already fallen – and he isn’t your best friend yet. You’re lying on the floor, covered in dust and the fifteen library books you had been carrying in a terrifyingly high stack. Not innocent but feeling very much betrayed, you glance at the perpetrator and find…

A tricycle?

„Oh, no, no, no,“ is all you hear before you see a whoosh of red fabric crouching down beside you. „I just parked it for one second! Are you alright, sorella?“

In hindsight, you’re laughing about it and so does Copia. All of it happened three years ago, when he used to be an awkward Cardinal who was riding his tricycle around the abbey, bumping into all kinds of corners – and you. The resounding noise of the falling books echoed through the halls of the abbey like it continues to echo in your mind whenever you think about that day. Just like you still see his mismatched eyes staring into yours in absolute horror when he leaned over you in the following quiet. You only fell for him an hour later when you saw those eyes shining, lashes meeting in the corners as he gave you his first genuine smile. Not that you’re aware of it just yet.

„What are you thinking about?“ 

You look up. „Hm?“

Your Papa, in full make-up and his robed, mitred glory, does not look like the shy Cardinal you met at all. No, he stands before you like he commands every room. And he will command the congregation in ten minutes when Mass begins, once you helped him put on his robes. Not that he needs you to do it, but it has become some sort of ritual.

„Your mind seems to be somewhere far away,“ he explains.

You hand him his gloves. „I just thought about how we met. And how far you’ve come.“

He smiles. „One of the best days of my life, no doubt. I would not be here if you had not stumbled over my little vehicle, amore.“

You shake your head. „You would be, Papa. I have no doubts about that. All I do is listen to your thoughts and hype you up. I am practically a cheerleader.“

With practised movements he yanks the gloves onto his hands, sprawling his fingers like a surgeon as he pulls them down. You watch him round the table, now in his full outfit, an unusually stern expression on his face.

He stops before you, one of the gloved fingers tilting your chin up. „I won’t hear any of this, amore. You do so much more. You are so much more.“

“Copia–“

„You understand your Papa?“

You nod. „Yes.“

The solemn expression turns into a laugh and he clasps his hands together. „Then let’s fucking go. I have some ministering to do and I better see you in first row with some pompoms, doing a sexy little dance, eh?“

You roll your eyes at him but follow his cackling out of the door anyway. He may be the most powerful man in the church now, but deep down he’s still your silly best friend.

II.

The next time you fall for your best friend without noticing it starts with a touch. A kiss, to be precise.

The smell of food in your nostrils is unbearable, stomach growling as you wait for what feels like an eternity in front of the heavy wooden door. You’re about to fish your phone out of your hoodie’s pocket when he opens. „Amore?“

Copia calls you amore whenever you’re alone, rarely ever using sister or sorella anymore unless someone is with you. You are not… a couple. But he insists it’s the only name that feels right for you. Not your name, not a random nickname. Always amore.

„Papa,“ you say. „I brought food. How does dinner together sound to you?“

He smiles gratefully. „How did you know I was not in the mood for company?“

„I am company.“

„Yes, but… good company.“ He steps aside to let you in. „The best.“

Copia’s quarters, now that he’s Papa, are much nicer than before. You had to convince him to get some new things because you were tired of eating on the floor whenever you came over for lack of proper seating. The first thing he acquired was a comfortable couch that you helped him choose and that you settle on now, unpacking the Chinese food you brought on a similarly new coffee table.

„How was your day?“ you ask when he sits down next to you. „Stressful?“

One glance at him is answer enough. Even though the Papal paint hides the shadows under his eyes you can see how tired he is. He’s stripped off most of his robes apart from a black frilly shirt and his regular black pants. His hair stands up at odd angles and there are ink stains on his ungloved hands. When you glance over, you notice a huge stack of papers on his desk.

„Actually, I should still be working,“ he says, grabbing one of the paper boxes with food.

„No, actually, you should eat something,“ you correct him. „And let me take care of you for a bit before you collapse. You’re no help for the clergy if you work yourself to death.“

Copia sighs, a timid smile working its way on his face. „What would I do without you, amore?“

In a lapse of self-control you lift your hand and comb one of the stray pieces of his hair down. The touch makes him freeze which in turn makes you freeze and you only realise your hand is still on his face when he leans into your palm, his soft cheek warm against your skin. He looks so weary, so utterly exhausted.

Your throat is suddenly dry and you swallow. „I don’t like seeing you so overworked, Papa. It worries me.“

„I’m fine, amore, I promise,“ he says. „It was a long week.“

„What can I do to help?“

He huffs out a laugh. „You are already doing more than you should.“

His hand finds yours where it rests on his cheek and he brings it to his lips, pressing a lingering kiss to your palm. Your heart clenches, overwhelmed by the tender gesture, by the warmth of his bigger hand covering yours. His soft lips leave a wet imprint on your skin and when he lets go of you in favour of eating, you remain dazed, puzzled. You struggle to grab your own food box, scared of losing the ghost of his kiss on your palm.

Copia, seemingly unaware, munches on his spring rolls. „What do you say? We watch a movie and relax together? I think that would make me feel better and it would ease your worries.“

You nod with a smile, trying to shake the tingling sensation in your fingertips. In that moment, you feel another tickle but this time on your leg. Looking down, you see one of Copia’s furry friends trying to get your attention. „Oh, what are you doing here, Fagiolo?“

„Ah yes, I forgot I had him out of his cage,“ Copia says. „He was keeping me company. Well, chewing on my papers more like.“

You pick up the rat, letting it settle into your lap. „You want our leftovers, huh? Have to wait a bit longer, my love.“

Fagiolo doesn’t mind. He’s Copia’s most patient rat, the most well-behaved, too, and he loves sleeping in pockets so much that you’re sure he’s gonna bridge the time with a nice little nap. Just like expected, he climbs into the pocket of your hoodie and gets comfortable.

„Look how cute he is, Copia! Look at his lil face peeking out!“

„He is,“ Copia agrees, but he’s not looking at the rat. Instead he’s smiling at you with so much warmth in his eyes that you’re melting. „He is, amore. Just like you.“

III.

You sit in the refectory for a late lunch, eating a sandwich and scribbling down notes for an upcoming lecture you’re doing for the new initiates You hoped most of the clergy was finished with lunch by now, but it’s still noisy and distracting. There is a group of Siblings at the table next to yours, in particular, who are chatting and laughing and gossiping with no shame. One of the Sisters in particular seems to be the object of interest. As soon as she sits down with them, everyone’s eyes focus on her.

„So who were you with last night? You never came back to your room,“ one of them says.

The Sister giggles. „I can’t tell you. No. I just can’t.“

„Come on. That Brother who’s been flirting with you for the past month?“

„No, you’ll never guess. Don’t even try!“ 

It’s clear she wants them to try anyway. The others indulge her, loudly complaining, urging her to disclose her secret until she relents. The table goes quiet, preparing to catch her speaking under her breath. „I was with… with Papa.“

The supposed whisper is so loud that half of the room can hear it and they all glance at you, knowing you and Copia are friends. So you pretend you haven’t heard it. Pretend you’re focused on the notepad right next to your plate, scribbling random letters down to appear busy.

„How was it?“ someone asks.

„It was great,“ she says. „I got to try out that thing I’ve always wanted to try out. I think he was really impressed. I won’t be surprised if it happens again!“

Your pen gives off a pained cracking sound and you realise you’ve used so much force that it nearly snapped. When you glance down at the notepad, there are only four bold letters where you were tracing the lines over and over until the paper is stretched so thin it threatens to rip.

FUCK.

Your day is ruined and you’re not even sure why. You’ve wanted him to find relief for some of his stress for a while now and what better way than a night of passion? The sister was beautiful, she seemed to be a real sweetheart. Maybe he has genuine interest in her, maybe this could mean he’s on his way to finding happiness. You’re happy for him. So happy.

But why do you feel like someone kicked you in the guts, multiple times, with combat boots?

You’re lucky you’re on library duty this evening because you’re not sure you could be a polite member of the clergy right now. Something is wrong with you and it unsettles you. What is it about the situation that bothers you so much?

You nearly jump out of your skin when you suddenly hear steps coming up to the desk you’re nearly falling asleep at. It’s Papa, wearing a dark cassock, Grucifix jangling in front of him as he approaches. But he’s not in the exuberant mood you expect him to be in. Instead of a warm glow he exudes a depressed energy. He seems tired, unsmiling, almost hungover, really. Pale and jittery, he looks like he needs to throw up.

„Co– eh, Papa,“ you greet him.

You still struggle not calling him Copia. He doesn’t mind you not addressing him by his title but you don’t want any privileges. Being friends with him already makes it harder to connect to the other Siblings. They would be even less accepting if you lost all propriety.

„Hello, amore,“ he says, a tired edge to his voice. „I have some books to return to you.“

You give him a kind smile. „You know you don’t have to do that yourself, right?“

„I wanted to. I knew you’d be here and I felt like seeing you.“

„What’s wrong?“ 

He raises his brows. „What do you mean?“

„You look like you’re getting sick,“ you say. „Are you unwell?“

Copia shakes his head, waving you off like he often does when you show concern. „No, no. I am fine. Not in the best of moods today, maybe.“

„I would expect you to be elated today,“ you say. „Floating, really.“

„Why?“ He hands you the two books he’s been carrying under his arm, still staring at them as you reach out to scan them. „Did I miss something?“

„Well, how was it?“

„How was what, amore?“

„Your… company last night. I heard some Siblings talking earlier.“

He looks up, clearly surprised and overwhelmed by the question. „It was… ugh… okay. It was fine.“

Your eyes meet. „Fine?“

A shrug. „You know.“

„I know?“

He’s flustered, uncomfortable, but you cannot go back now. So you tilt your head to the side in question.

„Sometimes you need to… to scratch an itch,“ he explains. „And it feels good in the moment, but when you’re done… you realise it was not the right way to go about it and then the sting hurts more than before. It actually becomes really fucking painful.“

Brow furrowed, you take in his tense stance, the way his ears are red, how he avoids your gaze. He doesn’t want to hurt you, you suppose. He knows you’re not… getting a lot of intimacy. Of course he wouldn’t brag about having an amazing night, he is quiet about these things, discreet.

„So, she wasn’t…“ You try to find the right words. „Not… what you thought?“

„Oh, she was great. No, she was really… beautiful. And all of that.“

That answer is enough to make you regret ever asking. What did you think he would say? You don’t want to hear any of the juicy details. In fact, you would rather rip your ears off than hear any more about it. So you backtrack, using the opportunity to finish with his books. „Sorry, I mean… it’s none of my business really.“

Copia waves off. „No, you’re my best friend, of course you are interested. You would tell me, too, right?“

„Yes, of course. I would… I would totally tell you if there was someone.“

Copia looks at you expectantly when you don’t continue. „So?“

„So?“

„So, is there someone?“

„No. No one.“

You stare at each other for a moment, then. It’s hard to hide how this is affecting you. The thought of him with literally anyone seems wrong and you have to admit that you can’t imagine being with anyone right now either. This friendship with him is all you really care about. Maybe that’s enough for you. It doesn’t seem to be for him. If he starts seeing someone for real, what will become of it? Will he forget about you?

„Mi dispiace,“ he says. „I know I am overly worried again and you don’t like that, but, amore… you seem…“

„I’m completely normal,“ you interrupt before he can pinpoint what’s wrong with you. „I don’t know what you mean.“

„So there is nothing weighing on your heart?“

You shake your head, forcing out a smile. „No, I’m okay. I’m great, actually.“

„Good, then give me a hug,“ he says, opening his arms widely in a theatrical gesture. It’s one of his strategies, a last resort, asking for hugs whenever he feels like something is off with you because it’s the only way you’ll soften up to him. The only way you don’t shut down.

This is something that started way back when he was still Cardinal. You’d been relatively new as well and struggled with loneliness. Opening up to anyone, making friends, it’s always been hard. After your fateful encounter, meeting the bumper of his tricycle by accident, he almost begged you to make it up to you by carrying the books he made you drop. That day you felt awfully lonely and so you let him trail after you, glad to have some sort of company. You talked to him all afternoon, realising how much you had missed easy conversation, and at some point you just randomly started crying because it felt so nice to have someone listen in earnest. He’d tried to coax the reason out of you, but you just assured him you were okay. Of course he didn’t buy it, but he also didn’t pressure you for details. Instead he asked if a simple hug would help.

He’s been hugging you when you’re trying to shut him out ever since.

And it makes your walls crumble every single time.

You step out from behind the desk and let him embrace you. Initially, you struggle not to imagine him holding the other Sister in his arms like that. But then his hand moves into your hair and he starts scratching your scalp just how he knows you enjoy and, in an instant, all of that is forgotten. You exhale slowly, then breathe him in. He smells heavily of incense and smoke. You get lightheaded from the heady scent, melting into him. Or maybe it’s just his proximity, the way he’s surrounding you so completely.

„Come over tonight?“ he whispers. „We can watch that movie you wanted to see before you fell asleep on me last time.“

Your stomach drops like you’re on a rollercoaster, heat rushing to your cheeks. You whimper into his neck, the sound muffed by his collar.

„Is that a yes?“

„Yes.“

IV.

The last time you fall for your best friend without noticing it he stands you up for dinner. 

It is not like you have a fixed appointment or that you always have dinner together. But most evenings you simply end up at the same table in the refectory, eating together like an old married couple, talking about your respective days. The domesticity of it is your favorite thing. It just feels so natural. And now, sitting by yourself because no one really dares to be your friend, you just feel pathetic.

So after dinner, you end up looking for Copia anyway, convinced that he’s still working somewhere and just forgot to check the clock every once in a while. You forgo getting him food, deciding to just fetch him something later in case he hasn’t eaten yet. The man really needs to take better care of himself, but he’s so bad at accepting it.

You find him on a blood-red chaise longue near one of many fireplaces that keep the library warm and the books dry. At this hour, he has swapped the papal robes for his lighter black cassock that reminds you of his Cardinal days. He reclines comfortably with an old book on his lap and a notepad beside him. Of course he’s still working.

„Amore,“ he says, looking up when you approach.

„Oh, I didn’t think you’d be busy,“ you say. „I can come by later.“

„No. Please join me,“ he says. „I am preparing a sermon for Sunday Mass.“

„Only if I won’t bother you.“

„You could not even if you tried. I relish in your company too much to ever tire of you.“ 

You’re elated by his words, a warm, comfortable feeling settling in your chest, tickling the insides of your ribcage. There is enough space for you next to him, so you pull your legs up and turn sideways to face him.

„I can use your opinion.“ He turns to you, a sheepish smile on his lips. „You are always so good with words. See, the topic of the sermon is… love. It is about how the most blissful feelings always carry the potential for pain with them. How do you like this quote?“ He takes his notepad, reading from his own messy handwriting. „Amore et melle et felle es fecundissimus.“

„Love is rich with honey…“

„…and venom.“

You smile, letting the words linger in your ears. „Love is both sweet and bitter.“

Copia stares at you with a penetrating gaze, nodding slowly. „Yes, it is.“

„I like it, very fitting,“ you say, taking the book from his lap as it threatens to fall. The language of love. A near ancient copy, the pages covered in dust and yellowed by decades of sunlight.

„It is very true, don’t you think?“ Copia asks, averting his gaze almost urgently like he can’t bear to look at you.

„It is,“ you agree, frowning. „How did you come up with the topic for the sermon?“

He scribbles in his notebook. „Ah, you know. Uhm… I think someone suggested it. Because it is Valentine’s Day soon.“

„That’s only in three weeks.“

„Yes, but… what better topic than love, eh?“ He chuckles and you wonder if you’re imagining the nervous tint to it. „Anyway, what brings you to me?“

„Oh, I just thought we hadn’t seen much of each other today,“ you explain. „And I missed you during dinner.“

„I missed you, too. I am sorry, I was dining out.“

„Oh.“ You ignore the pang in your chest. „So, that’s… that’s how you thought of the topic.“

He squints. „What?“

„Well, if you were on a date…“

„Oh, not a date!“ He chuckles. „No, no. It was with Sister Imperator.“

„Oh.“ Your cheeks heat up and you avert your gaze. „I just thought… a few weeks ago, you and that Sister…“

„Ah, amore, it was a one time thing. There is no romantic interest.“

„Great! I mean, good to… good to know.“ You hastily start flipping through the pages of the book to hide your embarrassment. „So do you need more quotes?“

„Yes, it is good to have a selection. You are okay, yes?“

„I’m alright,“ you say, acting very busy with the book. „I’ll help you.“

You start reading the old latin words in earnest now, scanning them for some more fitting aphorisms. Most of them are overused, some are far too cheesy. It is surprising how humanity has always felt similar about love, about heartache, about desire.

„What about this one?“ you say. „Adeo ne hominem immutare ex amor, ut non cognoscas eundem esse.“

Copia’s eyes are wide when you look at him, the meaning of the words leaving his tongue in a whisper. „Is it possible that a man can be so changed by love, that you could not recognize him to be the same?“

V.

Humming contently, you meander through a crowd of bubbly initiates towards the wing that houses the higher-ranking clergy members, a stack of papers pressed tightly to your chest. The abbey is so much more crowded now than it used to be, but here, everything is eerily quiet. Despite your status as Sister you’ve been here so many times, you could find your way blindfolded.

Opening the heavy wooden door to Copia’s chambers, you’re met with the sight of a ghoul carrying a bunch of clothes bags. As he steps away, the Papa sees you and his eyes light up. „Oh, amore, you’re right on time!“

„What are you doing?“ you ask, placing the papers you need signed on his coffee table. 

„Outfit check!“ he exclaims happily. „Trying on my new stage outfit or… at least one of many.“

„Oh.“

The ghoul leaves, closing the door without the sound fully registering in your mind. You stand there, staring at your Papa like he’s the Unholy Master himself.

He’s wearing black, rat-eaten jeans that are so skinny they basically leave nothing to the imagination. The intricate rips and details on his thighs draw your eyes up his legs and you notice the jeans are not fastened with a simple zipper but with lacings. You’re vaguely aware that your eyes linger on his crotch longer than is appropriate but you can’t help it. Even so, there is just so much to take in. His boots are soft Italian leather, matching his gloves. With a black frilly shirt and an elaborately embellished leather jerkin on top, he doesn’t just look like your Papa but an infernal apparition, ready to conquer the world and spread Lucifer’s gospel.

„What do you say, eh? It is good?“ He looks at you with big puppy eyes that stand in stark contrast to the skull-like Papal paint, awaiting your judgement. Only that you haven’t found your voice back yet. „… Amore? Are you okay?“

You snap out of your trance and nod. „Yes. Yes, very good. You look…“ Breathtaking? Like sin itself? „Uhm, the outfit, it looks… looks great. Really. Unholy in the best kind of way. Like you’re a Dark Gothic Lord.“

He preens, eyeing himself in the mirror in front of him with a smirk. „Yes, I think so too.“

What are you supposed to do now? Are you losing your mind?

„I like the big shirt sleeves underneath. And the… the copper ornaments on the jerkin. Very regal. The perfect outfit for a Papa,“ you ramble on. „They will lose their minds over it when you’re on stage, you’re so very handsome.“

„Oh, you’re just flattering me! Saying what I want to hear!“ He waves you off as he laughs, a high, unrestrained chuckle. „Now, what do you really say? You, not the others.“

You have no idea if he’s seeing through your confusion, you don’t even know what’s happening yourself. Something feels off, your whole body is acting up.

„I think you look incredible,“ you say truthfully. „It’s the best outfit yet. I don’t think I’ve ever found you so… magnetic.“

His smirk widens. „Magnetic, eh?“ 

This shift in expression does something very unusual to you. It almost feels… flirty.

You swallow the lump in your throat and smack his shoulder. „Don’t let it go to your head, Papa.“

„Oh, I absolutely will. You never say things like that, it is special. I will have to write it in my diary tonight.“

Your cheeks suddenly feel suspiciously hot. „What’s my opinion worth anyway? I’m just a Sister.“

„You’re not just a Sister,“ he says, frowning. „You are my confidante, you know me like no one else, and you have good taste, too.“

„I don’t think it matters in the great scheme,“ you argue, looking away in embarrassment. „What matters is that you’re going to win so many people for our cause wearing this.“

Papa scoffs. „It matters to me. You’re my friend.“

You ease up, realising there is no need to be defensive about your admission. So what if he knows that you think he looks extremely attractive in his new attire? It’s not a secret. Everyone will tell him the same.

„Well, I think you made a superb choice,“ you eventually say. „I like it. No, I love it.“

His smiles becomes sweet, a little flustered. „Thank you, thank you. Now give me a hug so I know you mean it.“

His arms open widely in the same theatrical gesture as always. And it’s charming, really, it would be charming now if you didn’t suddenly have the hots for him. Nevertheless, you hug him back because any hesitation would make him sad.

When his arms close around you, you notice a nervous feeling in your belly. A feeling that is suspiciously close to the feeling you last had when you were freshly in love. And not just that but the insides of your thighs come to life as your core starts throbbing for attention, your skin tingling underneath the fabric of your clothes.

Fuck, do you have a crush on him?

No, that is impossible. He’s your best friend. He’s been your best friend for so long now. 

Sure, from time to time you do think about him before you sleep and when he touches you, there are undeniable sparks. And yes, maybe you felt a tinge of jealousy after his hookup with the other Sister. And yeah, you do miss him when he’s touring and you can only see him on screens. You did cry when he became Papa, the pride and love you feel for him overwhelming you at the sight of him in his chasuble, mitre and the full make-up. But it has always been a friendly sort of love, hasn’t it? 

Now, in his arms, you feel like it hasn’t been. 

Your heart beats so fast you’re scared he can feel it knocking on his chest, asking for entrance. Thinking back, it has always beaten faster when you touched him, when he hugged you, when he called you amore in this sticky sweet tone that always lingers in your ears.

„You know, I think your hugs are always my favourites,“ he mumbles, his voice low in your ear. „I could do this for hours.“

You fight a nervous chuckle as he pulls you even closer. He can’t know, can he? 

„Me too, you… you feel really good,“ you say instead, trying to ignore what the scent of his cologne does to your insides. Or how his hands moving over your back make you weak in the knees. It’s a lot of body contact, these hugs, the closest you ever really get. Only that all of a sudden it’s not enough anymore.

You realise you were oblivious to your own attraction. The familiarity of your friendship seems to have overshadowed the underlying feelings and now they are trying to break free. Suddenly you feel like you want to rip the damn outfit off. Only he’s not letting go, keeping you closer than ever, and you surely won’t be the first to break away.

„Co– eh, I mean Papa,“ you try. Your nerves are blank.

„You can call me Copia when we’re alone, I told you before,“ he says. „It slips out all the time anyway.“

„I know, but I want to keep minimum respectability.“

He scoffs, one hand moving further up and into your hair. „I know you don’t have any of that, it’s okay. You’re the only one who is completely honest with me.“

Are you? You’re beginning to think you haven’t even been honest with yourself. You remember the burning need you felt a few nights ago, how you were taking care of yourself under the shower and suddenly, without warning, it wasn’t your hand between your legs but his. In the heat of the moment, you didn’t correct your thoughts and imagined him standing behind you, your back pressed to his chest, his hands all over your body. You came in record time, his name clumsily tumbling from your lips that are yet unused to moaning it.

You swallow hard. „What if… what if I’m not?“

Copia lets you go and you regret ever saying anything. His eyes are narrowed and he looks positively terrifying with his make-up. „You hate the outfit?“ he asks. „It’s okay, just say it.“

„No!“ You lift your hands in a gesture of innocence. „No, that’s not what I mean.“

Copia sighs in relief. „Alright, what then? You know you can tell me whatever it is, yes?“

„Not this.“ You shake your head vehemently. „No, it would… make things bad. I’m sorry. Actually, I should probably go.“

You try to walk past him but he grabs your wrist and the touch alone sends sparks through your whole body. You whimper and when you turn back to him he looks genuinely concerned. 

His hand moves into yours, so familiar and yet all new. „Amore, why do you not trust me? Have we not been the best of friends forever now?“ 

You stare at your joined hands, admiring how soft the leather of his gloves feels as his thumb moves over your skin. You concede, the effort of running pointless when you see him later for a meeting anyway. There is no escaping this now. The feelings are there, they won’t go away.

„You are my best friend,“ you say. „Which is exactly why I cannot tell you, Copia.“

„Okay, then I will guess,“ he says, letting go of your hand to raise three fingers. „I know you so well, I get it right in three tries.“

He does know you well, he is not as awkward around you as he is with others, pays closer attention to you. But he cannot possible think of that when not even you yourself knew it until five minutes ago.

Only three tries.

You find yourself nodding. 

„Yes?“

„Yes. But if you don’t get it right then I won’t have to say it. Ever.“

He shrugs, feigning confidence. „Chiaro.“

„Then shoot.“

For a long moment he stares at you, eyes narrow, like he could read your mind if he only tried hard enough. It sure enough feels like he does, his white eye especially piercing. „You have a secret. I say it is… oh. No, you are not… you don’t have a secret illness, do you?“

„No,“ you say. „No, I would tell you if I had.“

„Phew.“ He licks his lips, then starts stroking his chin. „What can it be? You are not sick, you don’t hate my outfit… You… you plan a surprise for someone! You can’t tell me because you know I would give it away. I admit it hurts me, but you are right, I am bad at secrets.“ 

Again, you shake your head. „No, no surprises.“

That seems to confuse him but he’s still eager to guess. Meanwhile your palms are so sweaty you have to wipe them clean on your habit. The room feels stuffy all of a sudden, hot and suffocating.

„Hmmm. What could it be?“ Copia singsongs, completely unaware, tapping a finger against his temple as he paces. For a moment, you assume he can’t come up with anything else, that you’re finally off the hook, but then his whole face lights up and he swivels around. „You are in love!“

Any attempt to remain indifferent flies out the window. The shock sits so deep you cannot control your distorted expression.

„Oh, it is that!“ he says, reading your reaction perfectly, but he’s not as happy as he should be. Instead he huffs out a breath. „So, you… you are in love?“

„I… um… I guess…“

„You said you would tell me if there was someone!“

„I know… ugh, it’s… it’s kind of unexpected… I…“

„But who? Chi potrebbe essere?“ he interrupts before you can embarrass yourself. „There has not been anyone new here lately. It cannot be Terzo, you always complain about him. One of my ghouls? No, no, I have not seen you look at them in that way. Could it be a new Sibling?“

„Copia…“ You take his hand, stopping him. „Don’t make me say it.“

„Why not? I can help y–“ He suddenly stops when he sees your pained expression. „I… Is it… No, it cannot be…“ His gaze is penetrating, his hand squeezing around yours, and you cannot tell if it is pity in his eyes or something else. „Amore…“

„Forget about it,“ you say, embarrassment flooding through you. „Doesn’t matter. I knew it would be a long shot. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Just… just promise not to stop being friends with me.“

„Amore, why would I stop being friends with you?“

You’re very close to crying. „I don’t know, because it’ll be weird for you.“

„Why would it be weird? Sure, the ghouls will tease me relentlessly. But there is no rule against it. If anything, it is encouraged to follow your desires. No one will say anything and if they do, I don’t care. I am Papa, I can do what I want.“

You furrow your brow, a tear rolling down your cheek. „I don’t…“

„Why are you crying?“ he asks, rushing to grab your face and wipe the tears away. „It is good, yes? Now it is out. We don’t have to pretend anymore.“

„Pretend?“

„You know how hard it was to hide that I’ve been in love with you for so long?“ He furrows his brow as your jaw drops. „Actually, maybe I should have started with that.“

You smack him again. „Yes, you should have!“

„I’m sorry, I just… I thought I was so obvious. Everyone knew,“ he says. „I thought you just do not feel like that.“

„What do you mean, everyone knew?“

„I…“ He stops. „Well, I have… I told you I am bad at secrets. The ghouls ask me almost every day if we’re finally together. And I was not subtle about it, I wrote a whole sermon about how much it hurts to be in love with you.“

Your eyes widen in realisation. „Love is… love is sweet and bitter.“

„Yes,“ he deadpans. „Did you think I just made that up?“

„How did I not know?“ You grab the front of his jerkin. „How could I be so blind?“

He seems startled by the sudden proximity, gulping visibly. „Cara…“ he trails off, eyes shooting to your mouth. „I don’t… I don’t know.“

It is clear as day that he wants you. That he wanted you all this time. And this is not the first time he looked at you like that. You feel like an idiot.

But at least you can make up for it now.

„We have an hour before the meeting with Sister Imperator,“ you say, moving your hands up to his neck to play with his collar. „I love the outfit, but I really want to see how fast we can take it off.“

Copia’s mouth opens and closes again, no words coming out. You cradle his cheek and he leans into the touch, whimpering softly.

„I need you to tell me what you want,“ you whisper. „If you don’t want this–“

He snaps out of his trance. „I do. Lucifer, I want you so bad. I just… I wasn’t prepared for… I don’t really…“

„Shhh.“ You tilt his chin up so he’s forced to look into your eyes. „It’s okay, we only do what we’re feeling like. But I really really want to touch you.“

Copia nods eagerly and you slowly open the knot on his neck. When your thumb moves to his windpipe, you feel him swallow. He’s visibly nervous, anticipating your every move. It’s tempting to take your time, but you’re on a tight schedule.

„You can touch me, too, you know?“

He chuckles nervously. „Oh, amore… where do I even start?“

Smiling you take his hand and bring it to your cheek. His other hand naturally finds your waist, pulling you closer. His eyes are still on your mouth and he licks his lips like they’re dry.

„Can I kiss you?“ he finally asks.

Your voice comes out in a sultry whisper. „Yes, please.“

Copia leans in and you close your eyes. His lips hover over yours for a second, your noses touching but nothing else. You already feel your insides fluttering in anticipation but it’s nothing compared to the feeling when his lips finally touch yours. He’s tentative, gentle, but slowly gains confidence. You quickly find a rhythm that makes you melt into him, body resting against his. Copia’s hand moves into your hair, pulling your head back lightly to change the angle. He’s more in charge now, moving his lips over yours like he’s never done anything else in his life. You’re a puddle, letting out a moan that comes from somewhere deep within.

Copia falters at the sound, starts grinning into the kiss before he breaks away. „Ah, shit. I need… need a moment.“ He takes a deep breath that he lets out in a laugh, more of a high-pitched giggle really. „It is so hard to believe this is real and not one of my dreams. Tell me I am not dreaming, amore.“ 

The corners of your mouth move to mirror his expression. „No, it’s very much real.“

He huffs out another deep breath, like he’s preparing to do a sprint, then grabs your cheeks and starts pressing kisses all over your face. He’s nuzzling your nose, fingers pressing into your cheeks to make you pout, then he continues to kiss every piece of skin he can reach. „It’s real,“ he says in between. „You’re real. You like me back. Shit shit shit.“

You laugh and he continues, making you squirm and writhe in his arms whenever he reaches an especially tender spot, coaxing all kinds of squeals and giggles out of you.

„Oh those sounds. Those fucking sounds.“ He kisses you on your lips once more, lingers before pulling away. „I love you, amore. You make me so happy.“ 

„I love you, too,“ you say, completely out of breath, your kiss-swollen lips burning. „So much.“

Copia grins again and you think your heart must have doubled in size. When he kisses you again, it’s booming in your chest like it’s attached to a bass speaker. His hands move down to your hips very slowly, tracing every curve before he pulls them flush against his. Feeling his semi-hard cock pressing against you, you decide it’s time for more. The next time he pulls away you trap his plump bottom lip between your teeth, then suck it into your mouth. 

He moans into you, using the opportunity to deepen the kiss. He’s very careful, his tongue licking at your bottom lip before he carefully rubs it against yours. You realise he tastes vaguely sweet and you tickle his tongue back, smiling into the kiss.

You only break away when you feel your lungs burning, a thin thread of spit connecting your mouths. Copia is just as breathless but his hands dig into your butt with surprising force, keeping your hips pressed to his so you don’t pull away any further. Maybe he feels a similar throbbing, the need for friction so deep it’s just not enough.

„I really do love the outfit,“ you say, running your hand over the leather jerkin as you slowly recover. „So… mesmerising. Does it make you feel confident?“

„Yes. Yes. But…“ He takes a shuddering breath, whimpers. „Amore, the pants are really tight.“

You smirk, bite down a chuckle. „Hm, poor baby, think we need to give you some more room, huh?“

Again, he whimpers in reply. His cock is straining against the unforgiving denim, trapped behind the lacings. It’s endearing how worked up he is from making out, but you hate to see him suffer. So you let your fingers dance down his torso all the way to the bulge in his pants. When you touch it, he groans like a wounded animal. 

„Ahhh.“ The sound turns into a high-pitched whimper. „Amore, please. It hurts.“

You want to help him, really, but the lacings are a menace. You fiddle with them until they finally loosen. Copia lets out a sigh of relief that quickly turns into a growl when you pull his cock out of his pants

„Better?“ you ask, giving him a gentle stroke.

His hands dig into your behind. „Mhm.“

„What do you want to do?“ you ask. „Do you want me to help you?“

„No, I think I want…“ He takes a deep breath. „I need to see you, amore. Please, can we take this off?“

You nod and he fiddles with your habit. It’s optional, apart from certain occasions. Most of the time, you’re not wearing the head piece and only pull the black robe over your head quickly before heading out. So it’s easy enough to just rip it off, though you have to do it because he’s clearly too distracted by your hand on his dick to make you let go.

Once it’s off, he’s distracted by something else though.

„You’re so beautiful, amore,“ he whispers, hands busy exploring the curves of your body. „I thought you would be but… merda.“

„Hey, this was supposed to be about undressing you,“ you say.

„Right,“ he says. „Sorry, got carried away.“

He still is because he’s no help at all when you try to open the jerkin. You eventually manage on your own, carefully lifting it off his shoulders while Copia is still occupied with admiring your lacy bra. You know you need to be careful with his outfit and it’s testing your restraint.

„Please, I need cooperation,“ you mumble.

„Yes, yes.“ He helps you, finally, placing the jerkin and his shirt over a nearby chair, the jeans following suit.

„The gloves…“

„I need to to take them off this time, amore. It’s not the same if I don’t feel you.“

You relent and it doesn’t really matter because you’re much more focused on his now almost naked body, the tip of his erection peeking out of his black briefs. It’s a sight to behold, your Papa with his slender figure, the little pouch on his belly, soft lovehandles and strong thighs from performing.

„Is it okay?“ he asks, like he’s not the most beautiful man you have ever laid eyes on.

„You’re…“ You struggle to find the right word. „Copia, you’re all I could ever want.“

He smiles with more confidence now, hands reaching out to you until they finally close around your waist again. You’re still in your underwear so when his now bare fingers touch your skin it sends shivers all over your body. He was right, it’s better without the gloves – at least this time.

„What do you want to do now?“ You run your hands over his chest, unsure where to touch first. He’s soft and warm, dark grey hairs running down his chest, stopping at his navel, then continuing on in the most beautiful happy trail you’ve ever seen.

„I want you on my bed, right now,“ he says. „And then we’ll see what we feel like. But before that I think this needs to go, amore. I want to see all of you.“

He tries to open your bra but it won’t work immediately. You attempt to help him but he swats your hands away with a frown, tutting softly.

„I can do it,“ he insists and he does, after two more failed attempts. You indulge him, it’s fiddly and he’s still trembling in anticipation when he carefully slides the straps off your shoulders. The bra tumbles to the floor and you feel a gush of cool air against your already hard nipples.

„Can I…“

„Copia you can touch me wherever you want,“ you assure him, taking his hands to place them on your breasts. He palms them gently and you fight a chuckle. „However hard you want, too.“

He smiles. „It still feels forbidden for me. I used to chide myself for even thinking about doing this.“

It’s hard not to fall in love with him even more. He must have been imagining this even more times than you did and the thought makes your heart jump. He loses some of his shyness and starts properly groping you, leaning back in to reach your lips. You move your hand back down to stroke him, feeling him so hard and ready for you. He moans into the kiss, breaking away immediately.

„Hm, no,“ he says, taking your hand away. „No, you can’t do that.“

„Why?“

„It’s too good. I won’t last.“

„So what?“

Copia chuckles. „So what? Come on, move your pretty ass to the bed. I have plans.“

You do as he says, even though it feels almost wrong to mess up the tidy black bedding – bedding that you picked when he got a new bed that also you picked. It makes you smile now, thinking about how he practically made you choose his furniture to make sure you’d feel comfortable here.

When you settle into his sheets, Copia stops and takes you in. „You know, I often imagined you like this. And it’s so much better than in my head.“

You smile and he slowly crawls over you, carefully letting his body weight rest on top of you. If you thought your usual hugs were good, this is even better. He’s a little sticky with drying sweat, his skin clinging to yours, and it feels amazing. His mouth captures yours in a short kiss but he’s quickly diverting his attention to your jaw, sucking and nibbling on your skin before he moves down to your neck.

„Let me mark you, amore, please,“ he whispers.

You bury your hand in his hair and give him an encouraging hum. His lips close around the skin just below your ear and he sucks violently. For a second you think you could come just from this, the shocks of pleasure so heavy they make your hips buck. Copia remains undisturbed, licking over the abused skin after a while. He lifts his head and gives a satisfied grunt.

„More,“ you say and his lust-filled eyes meet yours. „All over me.“

Eventually he nods and goes to work. You’ve lost track of time but you imagine there’s still room for this and even if there isn’t, you’re way beyond caring now.

Copia repeats his process a few times all over your body, starting with your clavicle, then the top of your cleavage, taking even more time to suck your nipples into his mouth and leave bruises all over your breasts. You fight the urge to squirm but it’s impossible, especially once he reaches your abdomen and his lips tickle the sensitive skin just above the hem of your panties.

„Off with those,“ he mumbles and this time he doesn’t struggle, removes them in one swift motion and pushes your legs apart despite your protests. „What, now you’re getting shy?“

You are. It’s one thing having him see your breasts but it’s a whole different thing to have him there. Your brain is still processing how this is happening when he continues kissing your skin, focusing on the soft insides of your thighs now.

He chuckles at some point but before you can ask what’s funny he sucks so violently that your hips jerk upward. That only makes him chuckle harder before he blows onto the bruise, pressing one last gentle kiss to it.

„You get impatient, I like that,“ he says. „You’re always so composed, so calm. Who knew all I had to do was put on some nice clothes and you’d be weak for me?“

„I wish I had known, too, I would have come prepared.“

„How so?“ He kisses your other thigh, getting comfortable between your legs. 

„Would’ve worn nicer panties.“

Copia laughs. „No, you would have ruined them. Did you not see how wet they were?“

You didn’t but you felt it. Him saying it makes your cheeks heat up nonetheless and you cover your face with your arm. „Stop.“

„Why?“

„You’re not supposed to be so perfect,“ you whine. „You’re supposed to be awkward and shy.“

Copia chuckles. „I was but then you turned into a puddle just because I sucked on your neck. Gives me great confidence. And besides… it’s you.“

„Me?“

„No one makes me so comfortable,“ he says, resting his cheek against your thigh. „You make it easy to love you.“

Before you can comment on it, his hand closes around your thigh and throws it over his shoulder.  His breath tickles your clit as he presses a kiss just above it. „Let me taste you, amore.“

„You won’t let me pleasure you but now I should let you?“

„Yes, I just… I don’t want to rush it. I’ve been dreaming about this so, so many times. I want…“ He pauses. „I want to make sure it’s good for you. I don’t care about me.“

„But I do.“

„I know, cara mia. But after this, I want you to come back here, every night, and I need to make sure you do.“

Like he thinks you won’t love him anymore if he comes too early? You try to make sense of it but he’s kissing your mound again which makes thinking very hard. 

„Please,“ he says softly, kissing again and again. „I need to.“

It’s not much of a choice. Of course you let him. „But don’t ruin your make-up.“

„Amore, your face has black mouth prints all over it. I’m not the only one who needs to clean up later.“

You open your mouth and he grins up at you, all while your heart swells in your chest. Then his mouth moves downward to finally kiss the spot you really need him at. You can’t help the small jerk of your hips. He ignores it, instead he parts your labia with his tongue and gives you a broad lick. It has your eyes rolling back, fingers digging into the sheets.

„So good,“ he mumbles, accompanied by a low hum. „Perfetto.“

You can’t stay sane like this, it’s too much. He does it a few more times but all you can do is bury your hand in his hair and hold on for dear life. His tongue dips into your entrance but he quickly replaces it with his thumb so he can go back to your clit. You’re getting close very fast but you really don’t want it to happen like this. You want him closer, you don’t want to come alone and you certainly don’t want him to come from humping the mattress.

„Copia, love, please,“ you whine.

He looks up. „Hm?“

„I need you inside of me.“

You can see the reluctance in his eyes but the will to please you is bigger and so he stops and crawls back up to you. He’s a total mess and you definitely have to fix his make-up before leaving, but you don’t have it in you to worry now. 

„Please,“ you say again. „I want you to come with me.“

There’s liquid desire in his eyes, swirling when he takes in your words. „Can I just…“

„Yea,“ you say. „Don’t worry about it. Unless you and that sister…“

„No,“ he interrupts. „Sathanas, no.“

„Okay.“

„Are you sure?“

„Yes.“

He shuffles off his briefs and runs his tip through your folds to get it nice and slick. And it is so slick that he easily starts sliding into you. Copia stops immediately, eyes meeting yours as he slowly pushes in deeper, making sure you’re okay. The stretch is incredible, slow and steady.

And then he bottoms out.

„Oh, amore,“ he whispers just as you whisper his name. The groan that follows gives you goosebumps. He has you clinging to his biceps, nails digging into his pale skin, and he hasn’t even moved yet. You’re flooded with emotions. Love, desire, pleasure. It’s enough to take your breath away.

„Are you well?“ he asks, his hand finding your cheek.

You can only nod, rolling your hips into him to indicate that you’re ready. Copia starts moving ever so slowly, gentle thrusts that hit you just right. He finds a rhythm that suits you both, your combined moans and whimpers filling your ears, increasing ever so slowly.

You don’t know where to hold onto once he gets really fast, hand searching for his. „Love.“

He sees you, moving the hand from your cheek to grab yours, pushing it into the mattress right next to your head.

„I won’t last,“ he grunts, followed by a string of Italian curses. „T-tell me if you’re close, amore.“

„Just a little more.“

That’s enough for him to grab your hips and change the angle. It’s awkward with one hand but he doesn’t have to hold you for long. Hitting you just right every time, your walls clench impossible tight around him and you come with your back arching all on its own, a barely suppressed scream leaving your lips. Copia sets you back down and rides it out, messy, unrhythmic thrusts, before he completely falters and comes with a growl. The pleasure in your veins numbs everything else but you feel his cock throbbing inside of you, nonetheless, even as he collapses. Your legs are still shaking as they wrap around him, keeping him close. 

„Oh, fuck,“ you whisper, clinging to the last bits of consciousness. You feel all tingly inside, almost like fainting.

Copia hums in agreement, shifting onto his side without slipping out. You wrap your arms around him, pressing a suffocating kiss to his lips. He keeps you pressed to his body, chest to chest, even as he softens inside of you.

„I don’t know why you were worried I wouldn’t come into this bed again,“ you joke.

A laugh rumbles in his chest and he presses a tired kiss to your forehead. You give yourself ten more minutes before you make sure you both get clean and to the meeting. Right now, you settle into the blissful feeling in your body, into the comfort of his arms.

„I should get new outfits more often if they lead to this,“ he says. „And you’ve only seen the first one.“

You can imagine the devilish grin on his face, even with your eyes closed. „Perhaps you’d like to model the other ones for me later?“

He kisses your shoulder, lips lingering on your skin. „I would like that very much.“

If you read this far I applaud you, I know it's really long. Thanks for sticking around and feel free to chat with me at any time. I would love to know which parts of the fic spoke to you in particular ♥️

[inncubus-honey]

28 of 100 i love you

back again! sorry for the long hiatus basically, but ive been busy with school and job stuff, but i finally had time to write! hope yall enjoy <3

alex keller x gn!reader

Word Count: 747

the ringing of your phone startled you as you cleaned up the kitchen after dinner. quickly wiping your hands dry, you walked to the living room and saw alex calling you. his caller ID made you smile instantly; it was a photo from a day at the beach, alex holding up a pretty pink shell to his cheek, his big smile showcasing his mustache and apple cheeks.

"hello, my love," you greeted softly into the phone, relieved to hear his voice after two weeks of worry gnawing at your nerves.

"hello, my dearest. you don't know how much I've missed your voice... this mission has been rough," alex's hearty voice greeted you, making your heart skip a beat. you longed to hug and kiss him again.

"that's tough, baby. how have you been? are you hurt at all?" you asked, absentmindedly fidgeting with the hem of alex's shirt you wore for comfort. he always left his comfiest shirts and hoodies for you in a clean pile before leaving for a mission, knowing they brought you comfort.

"no, thankfully. I'm all here and still in tip-top shape. I have all my remaining limbs, dearest," he chuckled lightly. taking a seat on the couch, you settled in, comforted by the sound of his voice.

meanwhile, on alex's end, he was packing up his gear, preparing for the drive home as a surprise for you. the mission had finished earlier than expected, and price had given them some time off as a reward.

"what are you doing now, baby? back at base or on your way back?" you asked, playing with a frayed thread on the throw pillow you hugged to your chest. the background noises of jeeps, people talking, and machinery added to your longing for him to return.

"just packing up the jeep to head back to base. i should be home soon, dearest. you know I always come home to you..." alex's voice was warm with anticipation of the surprise he had planned. meanwhile, otto, the brittany spaniel you and alex had adopted two years ago, wandered in.

otto seemed to sense your longing for Alex and came to sit with you on the couch, resting his head on your thigh and giving a soft whine, as if echoing your feelings. otto loved going for morning walks with alex, allowing you to sleep in when you had days off and joining all three of you on park walks.

"i know, alex. i just worry... a lot. otto does too; he misses his morning walks with you," you joked, scratching otto behind the ears at the mention of their routine.

"i bet he must jump all over you at 6 am," alex chuckled, sharing a moment of lightness before a somber silence settled. at least on your side of the phone, you still think hes in another country, being shot at, not knowing what could happen.

"drive safely, alex," you whispered softly, though he was just driving back to base. you wanted him safe, no matter what.

"I will be, dearest. I always am," he reassured you, the intimacy of the moment making it feel like just the two of you in the world. he couldn't wait to be home with you after two weeks away.

"see you later, baby," you said, settling back on the couch, otto now asleep at your legs, the pillow you hugged earlier now under your head.

"see you later, dearest," alex replied reluctantly, pressing the end call button but wishing he could keep talking to you.

a knock at the door roused you from your sleep on the couch, where you had fallen asleep without a blanket. confused about who it could be at this hour, you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and hugged yourself for warmth, otto rising with you, guarding your side as you approached the door.

without looking through the peephole, you opened the door to find Alex standing on the other side. his cheeks lit up as he saw you after two weeks away.

"alex!" you beamed, jumping into his arms as he walked into the house. otto joined in the excitement, jumping around alex's legs. alex buried his face in your neck, inhaling your scent as you did the same, the smell of gunpowder and sweat welcoming you both like an old friend.

alex was home safe and sound again, just as he promised because he couldn't bear to be away from you and otto.

[sleepingdeath-light]

relationship hcs ; jessie

requested by ; anonymous (21/05/23)

fandom(s) ; pokémon

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; jessie

outline ; “OH MY GOD IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE WILLING TO WRITE FOR TEAM ROCKET IM SO EXCITED

ok ok so uh may I request general dating hcs for both jessie and james please ? (maybe someone who has a good living since both are homeless 🥹) THANK YOU !!”

warning(s) ; none, just fluff!

if there’s one thing that jessie values it’s her appearance, flying into a rage if her face or hair are even the slightest bit damaged during a mission, and that goes tenfold when it comes to you — she’s constantly trying to look her best and can spend hours perfecting her look before the two of you go out on a date (stressing over her outfit and accessories, doing and redoing her makeup because it wasn’t symmetrical enough, and taking her time to style her hair perfectly) even if it’s something casual like a night spend indoors or a walk around the park, because she can’t imagine not looking her best for you (yes, even if you tell her that she’s beautiful regardless of what she wears as she does take pride in her appearance beyond just your opinion of it)

and, speaking of clothing and accessories, she will ‘borrow’ your things whenever she stays over at your home: using your toiletries to smell like you, borrowing your shirts to sleep in, wearing your hoodies and jumpers out and about, etc. — and you’re also the only person who she’s alright with sharing some of her own items (your stuff is hers and most of her stuff is still hers, she’ll let you know what you can borrow if you ask)

she has an extremely short temper and has a terrifying type of anger about her that is sure to make even those closest to her ready to run and hide — this can make arguments and disagreements between the two of you extremely volatile unless you’re able to appeal to her more vain side and sandwich your concerns between compliments to placate you, but it also means that whenever she’s in a jealous or protective mood that the issue usually sorts itself out before she needs to do anything drastic (aka the offending party runs away as to avoid her wrath)

on a related note: when jessie gets jealous she becomes extremely confrontational with the offending party and extremely clingy with you — externally she’s on the offensive and terrifyingly angry, but internally she’s afraid of you leaving her for someone ‘better’ which leads to her fury worsening (she has a lot of issues stemming from her childhood)

she loves attention and popularity, and at times this can lead to her brushing you off when she’s caught up in whatever wave of positivity she’s in the middle of, but she never goes as far as undermining your relationship — she’s actually fiercely loyal to you and will turn her nose up at anyone who tries to ask her out (she may hate rejection herself but she’s not above doing it to someone else; she is a taken woman, after all)

domesticity really suits jessie and when she’s staying with you between missions for team rocket she seems so very at home doing simple couple things with you: going out on random dates, running errands (and getting side tracked because she’s a shopaholic), doing chores like cleaning and laundry, cooking together, eating meals together, watching whatever crap is on the television whilst cuddled up on the settee, using her knack for sewing to repair any clothes/items that were damaged on her person during missions or at home when she was away, etc. — moments like this are the calmest you’ll ever see your girlfriend and her team mates (who will occasionally stay with you if they can’t find alternate accommodation) also quickly picked up on this and will tease her for becoming your ‘house wife’ (which inevitably causes her temper to return and an argument to start)

if you have any snake like pokemon then you can guarantee that jessie will be making every excuse to spend time with them: training, playing, lounging, and so on — and the same goes for any poison types (bonus points if you have an ekans of your own for hers to play with, or any dratinis or smoochums because she just really loves them)

as far as sleeping arrangements go, she loves being curled up on her side with her face buried in your chest as you wrap your arms around her — it makes her feel loved, safe, and warm, and she never sleeps quite as soundly when she’s away from you

her default pet name for you is ‘darling’, but she’s also been known to call you ‘sweetie’ and variations thereof — and the cuter the pet name you use for her the better as far as she’s concerned

[livesincerely]

Okay I have to ask after seeing your last ask… is here anything new you could share about your run away with me fic? That fic lives rent free in my head and I’m dying for any kind of update. (There are no cures for this kind of obsession unfortunately.)

God, Ive been such a neglectful parent to the Run Away With Me Fic. It feels like chapter two has been sitting in my drafts half-complete for an actual age.

I can't remember how much of the draft I've already shared, so here's everything I've got so far, with a promise to update soon!

00000

Their first stop, if you can call it that, is back at Jack’s house. It has to be: Jack doesn’t even have his wallet on him, doesn’t have anything except his phone and the clothes on his back, and even if he did, they’d still have to stop. 

Because it’s Jack. 

Because Jack’s not like Davey. He’s better.

The lights are on in the downstairs window but Jack doesn’t seem the least bit concerned as he walks up the front path, Davey trailing a half-step behind him, his fingers curled around Jack’s sleeve. Sure enough, Ms. Medda is sitting at the kitchen table, a dressing robe pulled over her shoulders, a cup of tea clasped between her hands, and concern dusted across her features.

“Johnathan Francis Kelly,” she admonishes as they enter. “What have I told you about rushing out in the middle of the night?”

“Not to,” Jack says, sheepish, pressing an apologetic kiss to her cheek. “Sorry, Mama, it was kinda an emergency.”

“It must’ve been some emergency,” Medda continues. “I heard you racin’ down the stairs like a bat outta hell, didn’t so much as⁠— What on earth are you wearin’, baby?”

“Like I said, it was an emergency,” Jack says, pulling the zipper on his hoodie up a bit higher. “Didn’t have time for real clothes.”

“And just what, pray tell, was so important?” Medda asks, arching an eyebrow.

Instead of answering, Jack steps aside.

“David!” Medda says, noticing him for the first time. Davey gives a jerky wave, hoping he doesn’t look as twitchy as he feels. “What brings you around at this hour, honey? You alright?”

“Dave’s havin’ sort of a hard night tonight,” Jack explains⁠, in that understated way of his that Davey’s never quite mastered. “I went over to help him out, and we started talkin’, and, uh…”

Jack takes a breath, then blurts out, “We’re going on a trip, Mama.”

“A trip?” Medda repeats, expression inscrutable. “What kinda trip?”

“A road trip,” Jack says. “Davey and I…” He pauses, then continues with, “It’s hard to explain it all, and some of it isn’t,” ⁠—Jack glances at Davey⁠— “Well, we just gotta get away for a while. And I know that it’s late and that this is basically comin’ out of nowhere, but we just gotta get out of here. We have to.”

Medda takes a long sip of her tea. “And what do your folks have to say about all’a this, David?”

Davey flinches at the question, his eyes immediately darting to the safety of the floor. Jack steps forward, one arm stretched back over him like a shield.

“Mama,” Jack says softly.

“Ah,” Medda responds. It’s weary, the way she says it, almost disappointed, and Davey finds himself shrinking further back at the sound of it.

“We can’t be here right now,” Jack murmurs. “Davey can’t be here.”

Davey’s lips part automatically, the usual protests bubbling on his tongue, but they fizzle and die before they can fully form. He just doesn’t have it in him to pretend.

Medda turns to him then, and her eyes are just as piercing as her son’s. She slowly rises to her feet, stepping around Jack until she’s standing right in front of him.

Davey’s heart pounds like an icepick chipping away at his ribs.

“You look tired, honey,” she says simply⁠—unexpectedly⁠—cupping Davey’s face in her hand. She holds his gaze, then pats his cheek⁠: carefully, caringly, the press of her palm terribly warm against his skin⁠. Davey closes his eyes against a fresh wave of tears that threatens to spill over. “You think this is gonna soothe that bleeding heart of yours?”

“I don’t know,” Davey answers, voice rough. Admitting it hurts, but like how an antiseptic hurts when you’re cleaning a scrape⁠—a necessary kind of pain. “But I don’t think I can keep on like I have been.”

“A little space can be a good thing,” Medda says, nodding. “No shame in taking some time for yourself, finding some room to grow. Just as long as you don’t let yourself float away.”

“I’ll try not to,” he whispers.

“Hey, it’s gonna be alright,” Jack interjects, though it’s hard to tell which of them he’s trying to convince. “We’ll figure it out, I promise.”

Davey bites his lip. “I… okay.”

“When were you boys thinking of leaving?” Medda asks.

“As soon as I get the car packed,” Jack says. 

“It’s late,” Medda says lightly, brow starting to furrow. “You don’t wanna wait until morning?”

“No!” Davey blurts out. His skin is crawling at the mere suggestion of waiting, nausea lingering in the back of his throat. “No, we can’t⁠— We can’t⁠—”

Two hands reach out almost at the same time, landing on each of Davey’s shoulders.

“Dave, it’s okay⁠, we ain’t gonna⁠—”

“You’re okay, honey, you’re okay⁠—”

“Sorry,” Davey gasps out. It feels like there isn’t enough space in his chest to hold both of his lungs. “Sorry, sorry.”

“We’re leaving tonight, Mama,” Jack says, quiet but firm, and Davey tries to focus on his voice, the strength and sound of it, instead of the buzzing in his ears. “I know it ain’t ideal, but…”

He trails off, and for a long moment no one says anything. There’s too much to be said.

“Why don’t you sit down for a sec, Dave,” Jack eventually says, giving Davey’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I’m gonna go pack a bag, I’ll be right back.”

“Here, baby, let me get a suitcase down from the attic,” Medda says, moving to follow.

….

Spot rubs at his eyes, hair and clothes rumpled from sleep.

“You couldn’t have waited another couple of days?” he asks, stifling a yawn with the back of his hand. “We’re literally just about to get out for spring break.”

There’s no censure in Spot’s tone, no heat in his words, but Davey can’t help but sink in on himself, guilt and shame creeping in once again. 

“That probably would’ve made more sense,” Davey murmurs, eyes trained on the floor, worrying the hem of his sweatshirt between his fingers. “Would’ve been smarter to wait⁠—”

“This couldn’t’ve waited,” Jack says, a hand landing low on Davey’s back, gently drawing him in, and the expression on his face is as steadfast as stone. He looks Davey dead in the eyes and repeats, in a voice that’s soft and serious meant only for him, “This couldn’t’ve waited. Not even for another second.”

Davey doesn’t know what to do with this declaration. He ducks his head, swallowing heavily

Spot glances back and forth between the two of them, brow furrowed, then seems to come to some kind of conclusion, his expression and posture easing all at once.

“Yeah, alright,” he says. 

00000

Davey watches the scenery rush past in a blur of hazy shadows and electric lights, eyes unfocused and mind whirring. Something’s buzzing in the back of his throat, something fluttering inside his lungs, his pulse tremoring in his chest.

He can’t tell if it’s the car rumbling along the highway that’s shaking beneath him or if that’s just him, the rush of adrenaline fading away into quivering aftershocks that make Davey feel like he might vibrate right out of his skin.

Jack reaches out and turns the radio down, the music quieting into a gentle hum.

“Davey,” he says. “Are you okay?”

Davey sucks in a shaky breath.

“I don’t know,” he answers for what feels like the hundredth time. He can’t tell if it’s gotten easier to say or not. “But I definitely wasn’t going to be okay back home.”

“Yeah, alright,” Jack says after a second, nodding to himself. “We can work with that.”

We, Davey notices, heart giving a nervous jolt. We.

He’s heard the word used far to often, lately⁠⁠⁠, mostly in regards to things that should be Davey’s alone, but that he’s been forced to relinquish: his choices, his plans, his dreams, his life. But it sounds different coming from Jack⁠—like sharing instead of taking.

“—ve? Davey?”

“Sorry, what?” Davey says, pulled from his musings.

Jack slants a look at him, the concern in his expression thrown into soft, golden light every few seconds by the string of street lamps lining the highway. 

“You wanna catch some sleep?” Jack suggests. “I’m good to stay up for a few hours if you need’ta rest for a bit.”

Davey shakes his head, a jerky little movement. “No, that’s not… I can’t sleep, I’m too keyed up.”

“Okay,” Jack says, all ease and understanding. “How about some food, then? You hungry? Thirsty? When’s the last time you ate somethin’?” 

Davey fiddles with the hem of his sweatshirt. “Dinner last night, I guess.”

Jack frowns, immediately picking up on the guilty, uncertain note in Davey’s voice. “What is it?”

“I…” Davey takes a steadying breath, then quietly admits, “I threw it all up right before I called you. I couldn’t… I couldn’t…”

Davey senses more than sees Jack’s jaw tightening unhappily in response to this confession. He hits his indicator and starts merging right, heading for the next exit.

“I’m sorry,” Davey says miserably. “I didn’t mean to, it’s just a thing that happens, sometimes, if I get too stressed, I can’t help it⁠—”

“Davey,” Jack cuts in firmly. Davey’s mouth closes with a soft click. “I’m not upset with you.”

“You sound like you’re upset,” Davey says.

“But not with you,” Jack says, almost biting the words as they fall out of his mouth. “Not with you.”

It takes Jack a while to find anything open, given how early it is. Davey points out a convenience store sitting on a corner, the lit interior a promising indication, but Jack waves him off, muttering under his breath about a hot meal. 

Eventually they pull into the drive thru of a 24-hour burrito stand. 

“What do you want?” Jack says, rolling his window down. 

The speaker buzzes, a worker calling, “What can I get you?” in an accented voice. Jack responds in Spanish instead of English⁠—asking for a second to think about it, presumably⁠—and turns back to Davey, expectant.

“Whatever is fine,” Davey says, picking at his nails.

“Davey,” Jack says. “C’mon, work with me here.”

“No pork,” Davey offers, unsure of what else to say.

Jack sighs. “Yeah, I’d figured that much. You want chicken or beef?”

The worker says something over the loud speaker⁠—Davey can’t understand the words but the tone of it screams impatience. Jack cuts in with rapid Spanish and the voice falls silent again. 

“Chicken or beef?” Jack patiently repeats.

“Chicken.”

“You want your rice on the side?” Jack asks.

“Yeah.”

“Extra pico?”

“...Yeah.”

.....

“I’m so fucking tired of crying,” Davey mutters, scrubbing furiously at his eyes like that will prevent the tears from falling. “I’m never gonna be able to do this, I can’t even keep it together⁠—”

“Hey,” Jack says, gently knocking Davey’s hands away. “[reassuring dialogue]

When he glances up again, Jack’s expression has shifted: eyes wide, mouth parted, head tilted to the side.

“What?” Davey asks.

“Nothin’,” Jack says, and it looks like he gives himself a little shake, blinking rapidly. Davey can’t decide if he looks pleased or perplexed. “It’s just, I can’t remember the last time I saw you in your glasses.”

“Can’t sleep in contacts,” Davey hedges, giving a small shrug. 

[knightzp]

was tagged by @tuikoa to do this!!! im sorry this is super late ajkldf i had a very busy and tiring week but here it is finally!!

Nicknames: just call me miki!

Sign: libra

Height: 168 cm

Last thing googled: i just discovered theres an enstars movie and i was looking for any site where i can watch it but it isnt ANYWHERE *cries*

Song stuck in my head: since i started with enstars my brain is a constant mix of many of its songs switching from one to another every few moments aldjsk rn is melody in the dark and temptation magic

Followers: 244

Amount of sleep: 9 hours most days bc this course i have classes on the afternoon so i dont usually have to wake up early :> (and still im tiredsleepy very often i have a problem)

Lucky number: dont really have one but i really like odd numbers so either 3 or 7

Dream job: honestly just a job related to what ive been studying in uni for 6 years already (chemistry/biochemistry), that isnt super demanding/tiring, pays me well enough to live and where theres a good working atmosphere

Wearing: soft fluffy pyjamas :)

Movies/books that summarize me: uh this is so hard... ill just mention some of my faves: pjo, httyd, hxh. oh and ig loveless fits very well here too

Fav song: i dont really have a fave song in general but moon halo is my fave honkai song and silent oath is one of my fave knights songs (enstars), since its what ive been mostly listening to lately

Fav instrument: piano. i dont play it but i would love to!

Aesthetic: i never know how to answer this alsksk mmm hoodies + comfy clothes, the color purple, stars in the night sky, autumn, soft blankets, hot chocolate and cold air where you can see your condensed breath

Fav author: rick riordan and laura gallego!

Fav animal noise: i love waking up hearing birds tweeting in the morning, so that one!

Random: so. even if i already got izumis 5* card i also wanted nazunas 4* card, so i did just one more 10 pull and i got nazuna!! BUT ALSO ANOTHER IZUMI TOO????

aldjsk i dont get this gacha, just hope i havent used all my luck. also im a bit confused bc i thought this nazuna card would have a mv outfit but it seems he only has the room outfit?? idk

Tagging: @sstrawbearies / @astralx / @distant-snow / @emingz / @seapasture / @solarshadow / @skijjiki / @sandtastesbad (no pressure ofc!) and anyone else who wants to!!

[goldenrretrievergf]

red nail polish

i seen this couple and she had red nails. not gel or acrylic they were natural. not really long either just a little grown out. like mine. i have the same shade of red nail polish that sits on the shelf at the foot of my bed, and ive been thinking of painting them for a couple days. ultimately, i dont, because my nails never grow out so well and i enjoy the way they look bare when they do. but i seen this couple and she had red nails. and it was just clips of their hands put together with soft background music. and their fingers intertwined and held each other like they were having a conversation. i thought, maybe i will paint my nails after all. i do this whenever i see a girl in love. i want to look like them. i have an epiphany in that moment that my nails should be painted, or that my hair should be brown, or longer, or shorter, or that i should wear more pants or more tube tops or more cardigans. that i should let my hair air dry, that i should spend an hour carefully curling each piece, that i should trim my bangs, that i should grow them out. that i should be shorter, actually, and skinnier. that i should love the weight im at because, look at that girl in love! we have the same body! that my hoodies should be more oversized, that they should be in my size. i act like dying my hair, that cutting my hair, that painting my nails, changing my style, buying a specific pair of sneakers no one really cares about because they’re just some Walmart brand, will give me the experiences of love. that if my nails are red they too will have been held like hers, or if my hair is brown it’ll have been tucked behind my ear by him like hers. i suppose its a desperate attempt to be closer to what i see. to mimic what i cant seem to grasp despite it being all around me. that if my nails are red my hands will suddenly hold memories of being held by someone i don’t even know the face of. by someone that doesn’t exist in my life. that i’ll be able to lie to myself, to others, put out energy that believes i am not alone romantically. that im held when i need to be and know the touch of someone that wants to touch me just to know im still beside them, that im real. that if my nails are red it will send out a signal to the person im praying for that i am right here. i know im not very tall but please stop looking over my head when you’re staring in my direction. i act like this shift, this change in my appearance will magically bring love to me, like im trying to figure out the steps on how to draw it towards me. how to attract it. they could do it, it worked for them. why wouldn’t it work for me? 

[cyndaquizzical]

IF ANYONE HAS A PARK IL PYO HOODIE I’LL BUY IT FROM YOU!

[httpjeon]

heajix ― jungkook (m.)

jungkook/reader | alien!au | angst, fluff, smut

wordcount: 13.1k

contents: violence, blood, stabbing, minor character death, murder, mentions of mass genocide, knotting, breeding kink/impreg kink, light size kink, dirty talk, blowjob, fingering, cunnilingus, begging, multiple orgasms, light cumflation, cum eating, cum sharing

― synopsis: you find yourself on palacios, home to the sehebon. unfortunately, it’s not by choice and you quickly realize how deadly the planet is.

note: heajix is pronounced hay-jicks

© httpjeon 2019. do not repost or modify.

blog masterlist ― made of stardust masterlist

You'd been traveling, backpacking to be precise, through Fanet IV System — the newest system to be open for interplanetary travel. While you were traveling and exploring the newly available system and planets you began experiencing extreme technical difficulties. You wound up having to make an emergency landing on the planet of perpetual night called Palacios, home of the Heajix — an obscure, secretive race small in population.

Unfortunately, the least developed planet hadn't taken too kindly to their status of open-for-visits and had seemingly gone into a global lockdown of some sort since it began.

The second you stepped off your craft, you began to cough. The pollution in the air and smog that you could see had you scrambling for the mask you'd been given ahead of your visit.

You were in the heart of the capital city, Yathe, and it was nothing like you'd expected. Instead of a bustling metropolis like on all the other planets — it was nothing but abandoned buildings and graffiti covered walls. There seemed to be limited electricity supplied as street lamps flickered on and off, though most didn't work. The ones that were flickering helped you navigate your way around regardless.

The place was basically lawless, from what you knew, and the citizens did what they wanted to for the most part.

Pulling your backpack over your shoulders, you began to make your way through a nearby residential area. The houses, if you could call them that, were dilapidated and run-down; some had broken windows and others were completely destroyed. The Heajix's native tongue was plastered all over the ruined buildings and, while you weren't fluent, were talking shit about the other planets.

Using the flashlight on your phone, and aided by the illumination of the moon, you managed to find yourself in front of a house. It was small and wooden, no doubt old. When you walked inside, you realized it was just a simple one-room house with an attached bathroom as the only other room.

It was a gamble to assume it was unoccupied but, you really didn't have any other choices since you really couldn't spend the night out on the street. Your communications were down and there was no cell service.

You sighed and stepped inside, wincing at the visible dust floating around the room — thankful for your mask. When you turned to lock the door, you were dismayed to find there was only a broken locking mechanism. Groaning, you banged your head against the door.

"Why does my life suck? This planet might actually kill me!" You grumbled to yourself.

You dropped your backpack on the floor, unraveling the sleeping bag that was attached at the bottom and dropping it in a suitable sleeping place. There was a window right beside the front door, large enough for you to clearly see outside and allowing the moonlight to drift in.

You placed your bag in the corner near your sleeping bag and sat down. It was soft and cushioned, helping you to not feel the hard, rough floor beneath. There was a pillow sewn into the sleeping bag which you laid your head on.

The trip had been long and grueling, taking a week to complete so sleep quickly caught up to you. As your eyes fluttered closed, just before darkness completely overtook you, you swear you saw someone moving in the window.

Waking up to no sunlight was definitely jarring and you quickly realized that your circadian rhythm was going to flip out. Regardless, you looked at the time and it was just past 9 in the morning so you stood up and stretched, intending to take a shower. Grabbing your backpack, you dragged it over to the bathroom. Toting the thing made you realize how heavy it was — you'd packed so much into it for the trip. It hit the floor with a clunk and you were briefly concerned it would break the wood floor beneath.

There was a shower — a rusted spigot and a broken hot water nozzle. You groaned, realizing how shitty your morning was about to be. You reached in, turning the nozzle. The pipes clanged loudly and made a high pitched wailing noise before spurting out water. Your jaw dropped open and you let out a cry of despair at the yellowed water.

After finishing your horrifying shower, 20 minutes of holding in shrieks from the cold polluted water, you sat on the floor in the main area by the window. You did notice that the moon was a lot brighter than it had been and provided more visibility. Pulling out your file from your backpack, you hunched over the floor to take note of the crummy conditions the planet lived in along with their lack of fresh, clean water.

It was a hobby of sorts, traveling through newly opened solar systems and journaling your stay on the planets.

Checking your phone, you noticed it was nearing noon and your stomach began to growl. You slipped your shoes on and put the mask back on your face before stepping out; hiding your belongings in the bathroom to make it seem like the house was empty should anyone come by.

When you stepped outside, you felt a shiver travel up your spine at the ominous atmosphere. It was completely silent, not a single soul in sight and it set you on edge. Pulling the hood of your hoodie up, you kept your head down as you began to walk towards the area where your ship had been parked. 

Truth be told, it was quite common on planets of weaker economies for the Capital Planet to provide the citizen with rations. 

There were other planets you'd seen them on, and as you walked through the smoggy city you were pleased to find a run-down building marked with a giant red symbol of Vulia — capital of Fanet IV. 

The glass doors were smashed open and you easily stepped inside. It was dark and dusty with minimal light helping to guide you. Finally giving in, you turned your cell phone's flashlight on and began to look around.

The place was massive and you were shocked to see that the shelves were still lined with food. It wasn't abundant but it was clear not many people had been picking from the rations.

You grabbed some things from the shelf, realizing you should have brought your backpack. Most of the food was marked in foreign text but you didn’t care. You just needed food or else you wouldn’t survive long enough, on the planet, to even figure out how to get home. 

You put some in your pockets and carried others in your hands as you swiftly left the building. Looking around, you felt like someone was watching you but the streets were pedestrian-free. In fact it was eerily empty — it was reminiscent of a ghost town. Strange considering it was the capital city of the planet. 

Not wanting to risk getting into trouble, you hurried on your way the your ‘home’. Regretfully, as you shut the door, you remembered the door didn’t properly lock. You weren’t particularly handy enough to really fix it by yourself, unfortunately.

You saved as much food as you could in order to avoid having to go back out and quickly found yourself bored. Looking at the clock, you realized it was only about 2pm. There was no way you could go outside to find something to do. Aside from the fact you knew close to nothing about the planet, you also didn't feel safe out and about.

So you sat there, watching the hours tick by. Your phone battery was depleting and there was no way to charge it — the planet wasn’t quite equipped with outlets and electricity. Once it was dead you were going to be so fucked — no flashlight and no way to tell the time.

It was still early when you decided to roll out your sleeping bag and lay down. You spent a while simply staring at the walls and ceiling daydreaming. 

As you lay there in your own world, out of the corner of your eye, something shifted in the darkness of your window.

You sat up quickly, turning your head to look but found nothing to see.

"Now I'm starting to hallucinate," You grumbled, laying back down and turning your back to the window.

You sighed when you woke back up, glancing at your phone indicated it'd only been a couple hours. Blinking the sleep out of your eyes, your gaze shifted to the window once again.

Your breath caught in your chest when you could make out the shape of a person standing there — silhouetted against the moon's light.

You couldn't see their face but you knew they could see you, you could feel their gaze burning into you, as they brought their hand to the glass and tapped three times. You didn't breathe, eyes wide with fear you watched as their head tilted to the side. They lifted their hand up again, no doubt intending to knock again when they froze.

You swear you could hear muffled voices but it was so faint it was nearly impossible to be sure that's what you heard. The person's head snapped to the side, body going stiff.

Much to your horror, a second figure made an appearance from a few feet behind them.

All was still for a second before the first figure bolted and took off running. The second person stood there for a second and you were scared they were going to harass you as well. However, the person turned and walked in the opposite direction the other one ran.

With your sleeping bag pulled up to your eyes, you knew you weren't going to be falling asleep again.

When the morning came, you began trying to fix the lock — the night before having made you terrified for your safety. It was a simple type of latch and it took you hours to figure out a way to get it to work — with the help of a bobby pin and a spare pen you had in your bag.

It wasn't the best but it gave you a sense of peace of mind. 

You hoped you'd be able to sleep.

Staring at the window, you sighed — maybe you could find something to cover it up when you grew the courage to go out again. You really needed to, having run out of rations and on your last bottle of water that you had collected.

Your phone was almost completely dead after you had been using it to light your work on the lock. The bar was red indicating a sad 18% power left.

The time was a bit past 5PM and you decided to go while it was still technically daytime. Once outside, you wanted to cry with how much you hated it.

Curse you and you terrible luck. 

You could only hope that the signals for help you'd sent out would miraculously find their way to someone who could help you. There was also the possibility of you finding someone in Yathe who could help you — whenever you gained the courage to venture around and find help for yourself.

Until then, you'd just suffer by yourself.

You did the rounds again, this time you stuffed much more into your backpack — which you’d remembered to take. Every little creak and gust of wind caused you to jump, the image of that person standing at your window was still haunting you. 

You were going to be severely out of luck soon; with no phone, no way to contact Earth or a nearby planet to get to for safety, along with the apparent stalkers hiding in the dark. With worries weighing heavily on your mind, you found yourself drifting into your thoughts. Anxiety riddled your being and you cursed yourself for not having been prepared for an event like the one you were in.

The only thing that pulled you from your thoughts were the heavy footsteps not far behind you. The hair on the back of your neck stood on end and your hands began to tremble. Taking a glance over your shoulder, you saw a broad-shouldered individual meandering around behind you. With their hood pulled over their head, you couldn't see their face but you were sure it was a man.

When he noticed you looking, he picked up his pace intending to catch up to you. You held a whimper of fear in, speeding up your own pace.

His footsteps sped up again and you felt tears of fear pricking at your eyes — your house was right up ahead. You could get inside and lock him out.

Just before you reached your house, the footsteps stopped altogether. When you glanced over your shoulder, you saw the man talking to another person.

He had a friend.

You were in such deep shit.

Practically bolting to your house, you locked the door shut and placed your backpack in front of it — it was heavy and it wouldn't do much. Nonetheless, it helped you feel safe. You slid to the floor underneath the window, out of view.

Despite your fear, your stomach began to grumble with hunger. You chanced a peek out of the window and found there was not another soul in sight.

Your hands were shaking so bad it made it difficult to bring your drink safely to your lips. It took you an hour, according to your phone, to eat some of your food as you had kept drifting off into space.

A loud bang made your eyes shoot open, having fallen asleep against the wall with your knees to your chest. Drowsy, you looked around for the source of what woke you up.

Another bang and you saw your poorly locked door move with the weight of someone slamming against it. You scrambled backwards away from the door, eyes wide as tears pricked at them in fear.

There was nothing you could do as the lock gave and the door flew open. A man stood there, shoulders heaving as he glared at you. You could see only his eyes as his face was masked with scarf.

"Please..." You whispered, backing yourself into a corner.

"I knew you were a human," He growled, voice gruff and raw. "You know you're not welcome here."

"I-I..." Your mind blanked with any defense you could have made.

Just as he took another step forward, a second larger figured barreled through the open doorway. He was covered by an oversized black hoodie and black face mask. The heavy black boots on his feet added more to his height. You saw your life flash before your eyes and you just knew you were doomed.

"You—" The new man moved forward in the blink of an eye and had the other man jacked up against the wall by the front of his shirt.

"What did I tell you?" The second man asked, voice muffled by the full-face white mask he wore.

"Look—" The first man began but stopped when the second tightened his grip. "Fuck fine, I'll go."

The second man said nothing, simply letting the other go for him to run out the door. He sighed, shoulders relaxing as he turned to you.

You were frozen where you sat, his dark eyes, through the dark shadow his long bangs casted, doing nothing to quell your fear.

"What's your name?" He suddenly asked.

"_-_____," You muttered, not taking your eyes off him as he began to walk around your house. His boots thunked against the wood floors as he investigated whatever he saw.

"Well ______," He turned to you and sighed. "My name's Jungkook."

He crouched in front of you, the chain hanging on his jeans jingling when it met the floor, pulling the bands around his ears off and removed his mask.

It felt like the air was promptly knocked out of you. Even in the dark you could make out beautiful features on his face; wide, sparkling doe eyes with long curly bangs that hung in them. He had pretty, delicate lips with a small freckle beneath and a sharp jawline.

He was young and really good looking.

"N-Nice to meet you, Jungkook..." You stuttered.

He cocked his head to the side, fully sitting on the floor in front of you with his legs spread and arms resting on his knees. His dark eyes analyzed you, scanning over your features and body.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, his voice portraying no identifiable emotion.

"I-I just found this e-empty house and—"

"No, I mean why are you here...on Palacios," He nibbled on his bottom lip as he stared at you.

"I um...I was traveling and had to make an emergency landing on the nearest planet," You explained.

"Why are you still here?" Jungkook's eyebrows were furrowed.

"My...my communications are down and Palacios doesn't have cell reception," You explained. "I attempted to send out an emergency beacon when I landed but there's no telling if it went through. And I've been too scared to try and make the trek back to see."

"It's probably been looted and dismantled by now for spare parts," He said, making you groan in despair.

"Are there any like...Embassy officials I can talk to? Government officials that can help me?" With every question, you felt your heart beginning to race with anxiety once more.

Jungkook's shoulders shrugged as he shook his head. "Do you not know anything about this place?"

"Only what's been released through the media," You replied honestly. "That you guys went into a lockdown or something."

"We don't...like outsiders here," He whispered before looking away. "There's no one who can help you. We're governless and we have no officials."

"Well how do you have laws a-and—"

"Does it look like we have laws, _____?" He snapped, making you flinch. "Look around. This isn't Earth. We don't have the luxury of being law-abiding citizens. We do what we have to to survive."

"I-I'm sorry I didn't mean—"

"Let's go," He cut you off again, standing up.

"Where?" You whispered, staring up at him.

"I said let's go," He growled, reaching down and grabbing your elbow. You whined when he aggressively jerked you to your feet, ignoring the painful grip he had on you.

"Wait! My things!" You complained, trying to break out of his harsh grip.

Jungkook growled, snatching up your backpack and tossing it over his shoulder.

"My sleeping bag..."

"You don't need it," He grumbled, yanking you out of the broken doorway.

As you walked, you noticed he tugged his mask back on — hiding his face. To your surprise, he pulled you only a few houses down from the one you had been in. He pulled out a key ring from the belt loops on his jeans and slid a key in the lock.

The house was still fairy dilapidated but it had clearly been renovated and fixed up to suit his needs. He hastily slammed the door behind him and locked the three locks that were there — a knob lock, deadbolt, and a simple latch lock like the one in the place you’d been hiding in.

The house was a bit bigger than the one you'd been in — it had an actual bedroom. All except a single window towards the back of the house and a window you could see in the bedroom were boarded up. Jungkook dropped your belongings on the floor with a thud and dropped to sit on the tattered couch in the living area.

"Um..." You stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, watching as he removed his mask again and tossed it away. His eyes cut to you and he raised a brow in question. "Why am I here?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, closing his eyes as he laid his head on the back of the couch.

"I mean...at your house, why...am I in your house?"

He chuckled at your question and you bit your lip at the sight of his crooked smirk. "Well, you were nearly killed over there. Did you want to spend your night there?"

"Well, no, but..."

"Look," He sat up and sighed. "There was no way you could survive on your own in this place. Actual Heajix can barely survive. So, I'm doing you a favor and helping you out, okay? The least you could say is thank you."

"I...thank you." It came out more as a question and Jungkook scoffed.

"You can sleep here," He mumbled, getting to his feet and stalking past you to his room. As he passed you, a sweet smell, delicate scent wafted off of him and you couldn’t help but inhale. It was nice.

You felt around your pockets and realized you had left your phone behind. You whined as you sat down on the couch, not willing to ask Jungkook to go and retrieve it for you. Jungkook's door clicked shut and you were left alone and in silence. It was dark, the moonlight from the back window barely reaching where you were sitting.

You curled up, shivering at the cool draft and your lack of a blanket. Closing your eyes, you hoped for sleep to overtake you.

Soft footsteps moved around you and your eyes fluttered open. Jungkook stood in the kitchenette, shuffling with something on a plate. Sitting up, you winced at how sore your muscles were from curled up on the small space all night. Your neck felt stiff and hurt when you moved it a certain way. 

"Um what time is it?" You asked, voice groggy from sleep.

"I don't know," He replied, not looking at you.

"What do you mean you don't know?" You asked.

He turned around, carrying a plate over to the coffee table and placing it down. He was wearing a loose white sweater and sweatpants, long curly hair messy and hanging in his eyes. "I mean...we don't exactly have a concept of time anymore. There aren't really functioning clocks so we all just...run on our own schedules."

"I see..." You watched him pick at some food on the plate and pop it in his mouth. It looked like some kind of diced meat. "What is this?"

"Food," He replied shortly, not offering any other information even as you glared at him. "Eat before you die of starvation."

You sighed but couldn't deny the hunger pains in your stomach. Albeit suspiciously, you took a piece of meat and popped it in your mouth. You hummed, finding nothing strange tasting about it — it tasted similar to ham.

The two of you finished it together and he leaned back on the couch with a groan, patting his stomach. You sat in silence, listening to the wind blowing outside.

"It's probably going to storm soon," He muttered suddenly, eyes drifting towards the window.

You hummed in response, picking at a thread around a hole in your jeans. You weren’t sure how to reply to him, truthfully his tough attitude and mannerisms intimidated you. The last thing you wanted to do was make him mad enough to kick you out and it seemed like he had a bit of a short fuse. 

"Do you want a shower?" He suddenly asked, making you jump.

"Um...yeah I guess," You dreaded taking another shower in the filthy water but it’d give you a chance to be away from him and relax a bit.

Jungkook led you to the bathroom and you were surprised by how well maintained it was. He grabbed a towel from a shelf on the wall and tossed it to you. Then without uttering another word, he shut the door and left you alone.

You were pleased to see a hot water handle and eagerly turned it. Then, much to your surprise, the water came out perfectly clean and clear. Without wasting a second, you eagerly stripped and stepped under the warm shower.

It felt like you were in there for ages, having to use some soap Jungkook had to clean yourself. You hoped he didn't mind, though it smelled very good.

When you stepped out, you felt fresher and you were surprised to see new clothes on the countertop.

He had come in while you were shower.

Your face burned hot, hoping he hadn't looked. Throwing on the clothes, you hummed at how clean and nice you felt for the first time since being on the planet. When you walked out of the bathroom, Jungkook was sitting on the couch with his eyes closed and arms over his chest like he was napping.

"H-How did you have clean water?" You asked, taking a seat beside him.

You heard him inhale and felt his body tense. For a second you thought he was going to yell at you, but instead he opened his eyes to look at you. "I hooked all my piping to a private water reservoir that continuously purifies the water."

"That's...impressive," You whispered. "How'd you learn to do that?"

He shrugged. "Took a lot of testing, trial and error with the purification. But my parents were mechanical engineers in Zlathe."

"Zlathe?" You asked.

"It was another city a long time ago," He replied, running a hand through his hair revealing his forehead.

"...Was? What do you mean?" You sat up straighter and he sighed.

"Before everything fell, Zlathe was a neighboring city even bigger than Yathe," He explained.

"I don't understand," You muttered. "What do you mean everything fell?"

"You really are ignorant," He chuckled, though it held no mirth. You couldn’t find it in you to be offended because it was true; but no one outside knew anything about the planet.

"Well it's not my fault your planet is a secret," You mumbled, crossing your arms over your chest.

"We were less developed than everyone...the other planets," His voice held nothing but spite as he spat out the words. "Palacios is the smallest and collectively they all decided, even as we rejected the idea, to create landfills here to dispose of their waste so their own planets didn't become a mess."

"So...that's what caused the pollution?" You asked.

He nodded. "The more toxic the air became, the more sick people became. Those who were able to leave did and those who couldn't were trapped. All of our government leaders left us without a word. Everything went to complete chaos."

"That's horrible! They just abandoned their citizens?" You gasped, eyes wide with shock.

"One by one the cities became desolate. Yathe is, from what we know, the only standing safe city. When the population became crammed into this last safezone those fucking Vorderans swept in and raided every nook and cranny they could. We went from 500,000 people to a mere maybe...20,000?"

"Vorderans?" You hummed. "The people of Vulia? Capital Planet for Fanet IV? Why did they do that?"

Jungkook scoffed. "Why would I tell you? So you can report it back to the Humans and they can take what's left of an already dying people? We're a doomed species — pushed to the brink of extinction over greed and classicism. Why do you think we kill any outside official that comes here, huh?"

"W-We just...everyone just said Heajix were very...private," You muttered, a little startled by his aggressive attitude.

"Yeah they would," He spat. "They don't want to have to explain the complete genocide and decimation of a planet they spearheaded."

"Did you say kill?" You suddenly whispered, brain catching up to what he’d previous confessed.

"Of course, any foreign person who comes to us...after we warned the Embassy to leave us alone...they sign their own death warrant," He said, absolutely no remorse in his voice.

"Is that why that guy broke in?" You asked, which he nodded at.

"Yeah, you were targeted by him even though it wasn't even discussed," When he heard you hum in confusion. "We may not have people in high positions telling us what to do but we do maintain some order. Any foreign person who comes here is watched and if they're deemed a threat we take them out. So far...every person has proved themselves to be so. But you...we hadn't caught you doing anything other than trying to survive and hide so we voted to leave you alone."

"So why did that guy—"

"He went off the deep end I guess, didn't trust you and wanted to take you out on his own terms to be safe. He'll be punished and dealt with appropriately," He said, pulling his sleeves of his sweatshirt up to show a wide expanse of tattoos written in a foreign text. "All criminals after punishment are made to have a tattoo on their skin detailing the nature and severity of the crime. It's kind of like a way to shame us for behaving that way. It’s a little piece of our culture we’ve maintained even after the fall."

You leaned closer, looking over the intricate text that was displayed. He had a handful from what you could tell.

"I take it you're not going to tell me what your crimes are?" You asked, unsurprised when he yanked his sleeve down harshly.

"What the hell happened to your arm?" He suddenly asked, changing the subject, eyes pinned to your arm.

When you looked down to follow his gaze, you were shocked to see a nasty purpling bruise around your elbow.

"I have no idea," You muttered. However, he grabbed your wrist and you gasped, attempting to yank yourself away. "That hurts, you know! Jeez, why are you so rough?"

"Rough?" He scoffed. "I'm barely even touching you!"

"Well, you've got a twisted concept of gentle," You muttered, rubbing your now sore wrist. "Oh."

"What?" He grumbled, pouting at having been chewed out by you.

"It's where you grabbed me yesterday," You muttered. "Jeez I knew you were rough but..."

"I wasn't that rough..." At the tone of his voice, you looked up and saw him frowning. He lightly ran his fingers over the bruise. "I didn't meant to hurt you."

"I..." You were shocked by how upset he seemed over it, showing actual concern. "It's okay...it'll heal. J-Just be more careful next time, okay?"

"I didn't realize how easy you are to hurt," He muttered, still staring at your bruise. "You're a delicate race, huh? I'll be more careful, I promise."

You smiled at him and nodded. His lips twitched upward in his own smile and the two of you fell into a comfortable silence.

The following day, Jungkook stood before you with a backpack on his shoulders. His mask was in place and he looked at you where you sat on his couch.

"When I leave, lock the door behind me," He ordered you, watching as you quickly nodded your head. "And don't open up until you're sure it's me, got it?"

"Got it," You replied, feeling anxious over the situation.

His boots stomped against the floor as he walked to the door, casting one strong glance at you over his shoulder before walking out and slamming it shut. You quickly raced over and slid the latch lock in place and twisted the deadbolt while he locked the knob. Left alone in the silence, you felt extremely uncomfortable.

You looked around, eyes falling on the door to Jungkook's bedroom. Debating for a moment, you decided he'd probably be gone long enough for you to have a peek.

Pushing the door open, you were pleased at how nice it smelled — Jungkook's clean scent permeating from every inch.

As you stepped inside, you noticed a pile of old, worn books in one corner. He had a table beside his bed with a picture frame on it. Taking a seat on his mattress, you grabbed the frame and examined it. There was a picture of Jungkook, albeit a bit younger, standing with a man and woman on either side of him and behind him a taller man who looked similar to Jungkook.

You opened the drawer of his table, having to pull hard as it seemed to be off the track. It was empty inside aside from a paper you couldn't read and a bottle of lotion. Humming, you simply pushed the drawer back closed and looked around the room some more.

Deciding there was nothing else worth looking at, you stepped out of his room and shut the door. Boredom struck immediately and you dropped down onto the couch and curled up.

The least you could do is take a nap.

Your rest didn't last long because you were startled awake by violent knocks on the door. From outside, you could hear Jungkook calling your name. Jumping to your feet, you scrambled to unlock the door and let him in. He sounded so panicked that your hands were shaking by the time you slid the latch lock open.

Jungkook burst in the second the door was open and promptly fell to the ground with a groan. You shut the door and shakily locked it again before turning to him.

"J-Jungkook? What happened?" You crouched down and helped him pull his backpack off.

He winced, making a hissing noise the second he was made to move. You gasped, noticing the way that he was holding his side — red seeping through his fingers.

"Oh my god, what happened?!" You cried, hands hovering above him not knowing what to do.

"J-Just a stupid accident," He groaned, the back of his head hitting the floor harshly when he tossed it back. The impact didn’t seem to bother him. "Was chasin' some animal and I fell. Caught myself on some scrap metal on the way down."

"Holy crap, how bad is it?" You urged him to move his hand so you could see his wound.

The metal had torn a hole in his shirt and you could see a deep gash across his ribs. There was blood gushing from it and you were worried about the possibility of infection.

"It needs to be cleaned and probably stitched, Jungkook," You muttered, watching him put his hand back over it to slow the bleeding.

"I don't have t-to clean it or stitch it," His eyebrows were drawn together and his jaw was clenched in pain.

"I have a first aid kit in my backpack," You stood up quickly, ignoring his protests, dashing over to where your backpack was leaning against the wall.

Zipping it open, you began to fish through your belongings searching for the little white box. You pulled out a towel, deciding it might be good to help clean him up some. You made a soft sound when you finally spotted the kit, pulling it out and holding it up in triumph.

Sitting beside Jungkook again, you helped him remove his shirt. There were a few tattoos and scars scattered along his chest and abdomen but you didn't have time to ogle at his naked body. You pressed the spare towel against his wound and apologized as he hissed in pain. His hand was covered red in blood — some of it having dripped down his wrist to his elbow. You noticed that his mask was gone as well.

"Okay, I'm going to put some antiseptic on it alright?" You asked, pulling the towel off slightly. "It's going to burn like...really bad but—"

"Just do it," He groaned. "Nothing can top this pain right now."

You sighed and ripped open an alcohol wipe. The second it touched the wound, Jungkook's entire body jerked and he let out a sharp word in his mother tongue that you assumed was a cuss. In another situation, you would have laughed at the reaction. Next, you cleaned it with some hydrogen peroxide, making sure to flush the wound as best you could.

"Wh-Where did you learn to do this?" He asked, voice tight with pain.

"Well...I have just basic knowledge from things I've seen on like TV and..stuff like that. So I don't actually know if I'm doing it right or not," You whispered. "But the point is it's getting cleaned, right?"

"Shit, I guess you're right," He mumbled, eyes focused on the ceiling above him.

"I-It's still bleeding, it really will need stitches...it's so deep," You whispered, watching as blood continued to seep through.

"Can you do it?" He asked.

"I don't know...the only thing we can do is try, right?" You were lucky you had a full first aid kit, complete with a sterile needle and thread.

It was quite dark and you had to lean close to see the edges of the wound. You took it slow, apologizing to Jungkook whenever the needle pierced the torn skin. Little by little, the wound was closed until you managed to tie a tight knot to ensure the stitches wouldn't open back up.

Sitting back, you let out a sigh of relief. "I have some pain medicine," You said, taking out a few tablets of Ibuprofen from the first aid kit.

"Thanks," He popped them in his mouth, wincing as he had to swallow them dry.

Then was a big sigh, his body finally relaxed against the floor. He blinked slowly, as if he was struggling to stay awake. You assumed his adrenaline rush crashed and he was growing tired — no doubt exhausted from the adrenaline crash.

"This is insane," He mumbled suddenly, voice sounding slurred.

"What is?" You questioned.

"Before I would just think of getting myself home safe and that'd be the end of it," His lashes fluttered as he fought the sleep that threatened to overtake him. "But this time...all I could think was that I had to get back to you so you would be safe. Unbelievable."

You couldn't help but smile, though he missed it as his eyes finally closed. In a matter of moments, his breathing evened out and you knew he fell asleep.

Right on the floor.

Chuckling, you shook your head and wandered to his bedroom to pull the blanket off his bed — just a thin throw blanket and one of his pillows. You returned to him and carefully, doing your best not to wake him, placed the pillow beneath his head and the blanket over his body.

Your own exhaustion seemed to catch up to you and you curled up on the couch, your own eyes shutting as you stared at Jungkook's sleeping form.

When you woke up, it was on your own. You saw Jungkook was still asleep and sighed. Quickly pulling yourself up, you wandered over to him. Sitting down, you peeled the blanket off of him. You moved his arm off his chest so you could look at his wound but you let out a harsh gasp at what you saw. Jungkook's eyes immediately popped open and sharply turned to look at you.

"What is it?" He asked, body relaxing when he realized it was just you.

"Y-Your wound..." You leaned down to get a closer look, looking at your uneven stitching over the red skin.

"What about it?" He hummed, looking down to take a look at himself.

"It's healed up..." Beneath the stitches, the skin was still reddened but there was no sign of the open wound that was once there. Just a puffy looking scar was left in its wake.

"Oh good," He sat up and stretched his arms — his joints popping at the action, making him groan. "Hand me my backpack, yeah?"

"What do you mean good?! Yesterday you were bleeding out on the floor a-and now you're acting like it's just okay?!" You cried, throwing your hands up in frustration.

He stared at you for a moment, looking confused before sighing. He rolled over and grabbed his backpack, pulling it into his lap and digging through.

"Eat something and then we'll talk, okay?" He pulled out a bar of something and when you opened it, it resembled a granola bar but was much softer.

When you took a bite, you were surprised that it tasted like meat. But it wasn't bad. Jungkook pulled out his own and quietly began eating. It was silent between the two of you, as you simply ate. Before long, you were finished and Jungkook simply threw the wrappers into his backpack.

"Now will you tell me?" You muttered, raising a brow when he sighed.

He stood up and moved over to the couch, leaving you kneeling beside his makeshift bed. He sat down and looked at you expectantly, making you rise to your feet and stumble over to sit beside him.

"I guess there's no reason to hide it," You scanned over him as he spoke, taking the opportunity to look over his body again. He was fit, no doubt, with faint abs and lovely, veiny forearms.

"So you have super healing abilities?" You asked quietly.

"We...our species produces a chemical naturally that can heal virtually anything," He explained. "It's in any fluid we excrete; even sweat. And it's in our blood, obviously."

"That's amazing..." You whispered, eyes drifting back to his wound. "Why did you let me take care of it if you knew it was going to heal up?"

"I...Because the other planets use us for it," He muttered, fists clenching. "Do you remember what I told you? About the Vorderans?" You nodded and he continued, "They...collected us for the chemical. They produce the highest quality super medicine in the solar system. And it's because they slaughtered thousands of us to get it."

"So...you didn't trust me to tell me?" You asked, though there was no tone to indicate you were trying to guilt him.

"No," He sighed. "But since you did take care of me...I figured I could at least give it a try, right?"

"Thank you, Jungkook," You smiled. "I'm really happy you're okay, you know. I was really worried. Without you, I'd be doomed here."

"That's very true," He smirked, relaxing into the couch. "You're absolutely helpless!"

"Hey!" You pouted. "You could teach me, you know?"

"Teach you how to survive out there?" He asked, nodding his head towards the door. You nodded and he shook his head. "You're too much of a target. I wouldn't be able to handle looking after you and trying to scavenge."

"I guess that's true," You muttered. "I just don't want to be a burden. You went out of your way to help me and I've done nothing in return for the fact you keep helping me."

He wore a frown as he looked at you. "You're not a burden. In fact, I actually appreciate having you around."

"You do?" You asked, your heart stuttering in your chest as he looked at you with sparkling eyes.

"Yeah," He smiled. "I hadn't realized how lonely I was. But with you here now, I feel a lot...happier. Lighter. It feels nice to not be alone."

"I...I'm happy I can make you feel that way, Jungkook," You whispered, meeting his eyes.

The two of you sat like that in silence. You felt a soft brush of Jungkook's fingers on your hand and he easily laced his fingers through yours.

You felt content; happy even.

You were curled up on the couch, unable to sleep through the howling sound of the wind outside. Rain was pouring down and the thunder was so loud your ears were ringing. Clouds blocked out the moon, blanketing you in complete and total darkness.

It was cold, Jungkook still hadn't given you a blanket and you were beginning to think he forgot. The storm had brought the temperature down drastically, leaving your teeth chattering in effect.

The storm was unlike anything you'd experienced on Earth. It was actually a bit scary.

You sat up, finally unable to take it anymore. There was no reason for you to suffer like you were.

You tiptoed over to Jungkook's bedroom and suddenly hesitated. You didn't want to wake him up for a silly blanket, you'd feel bad. Your shoulders sagged and you turned back to sit back down on the couch.

Somehow, you managed to doze off, curled up in a ball in an attempt to keep warm.

You were awoken very soon after by the weight of something warm being laid upon you. Eyes fluttering open, you met Jungkook's eyes. His brows were furrowed and when he saw you were awake, knelt down beside the couch.

"You're freezing, why didn't you ask me for a blanket?" He whispered, mindlessly tucking the blanket around you.

"I-I didn't want to wake you," You mumbled, voice wobbly from shivering.

"Don't worry about that," He grumbled. "I'd rather you wake me up than fucking freeze to death during a storm."

"I'm sorry," You whispered, eyes fluttering again as you finally warmed up. It felt so cozy beneath the blanket and it smelled just like Jungkook. "Thank you, Jungkook."

"Don't worry about it," He whispered, brushing some stray hair off your face as your eyes closed once again.

"It's my duty to take care of you now," He uttered once he was sure you were asleep.

The first time you noticed something was wrong was when you began to get dizzy randomly — usually accompanying a roaring headache. You ignored it, however, choosing to nap off the headache and continue your days on like usual.

Jungkook began going out for scavenging more and more — bringing home killed rodents and other animals. Sometimes he would come home with some rations or a snack from when the world was a functioning metropolis.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asked one morning while the two of you ate some breakfast you prepared.

"Huh?" You looked up from your plate at him.

He was gazing at you, brows furrowed as usual but his head was cocked to the side. "You just look really dazed. And you're barely touching your food."

"Ah, I just..." You cleared your throat. "I lost my appetite, I guess."

"Well, I'm going to go out again today," He said, eating the last of what was on his plate. "I'll be back tonight as usual, alright?"

"Yeah, be careful okay?" You whispered, watching as he hesitated staring at you.

He lifted his hand and placed it softly on your head, smiling.

"I'll see you soon."

Left alone, you ate as much of the food as you could before you had to toss it. You found yourself laying on the couch once again, feeling sluggish and lazy. Deciding a nice nap was in order, you let your eyes flutter shut.

When you woke back up, it felt like you were hit by a bus. You groaned, your head pounding making you whine. Sitting up proved to be a bad move as you felt your stomach turn. Immediately you let yourself flop back down.

Of course you'd get sick on a dystopian planet with no access to medicine.

The hours ticked by and there was no sign of Jungkook. You'd gotten accustomed to his schedule and the general time frame you both ran in so you knew he was well overdue for his return.

You became antsy, pacing around and taking naps when you could. The cold you'd acquired seemed to only get worse as you were plagued with an unfortunate fever. Hiding under your blanket didn't help and being out from the blanket didn't help either. You whined, knowing you didn't have any medicine to help break your fever.

Feeling crappy and concerned about Jungkook made tears sting your eyes; you were always a cry baby when sick.

The door opening finally is what woke you up. Jungkook grumbled, slamming the door.

"Why the hell wasn't the door properly locked?" He snapped, dropping his bag on the floor with a bang.

"Hey...that's loud," You whined, flinching at the way your head began to pound.

"Answer me—hey...what's the matter?" He asked, losing his anger for concern.

"I'm sick," You complained, watching as he kneeled down.

"Sick?" He mumbled, looking over your face — noticing your glassy eyes.

"I have a fever," You explained with a sigh.

He hummed, bringing his hand up to press his palm against your forehead. He hissed, pulling back and sighing.

"I was so scared you weren't coming back, you were gone so long," You whispered, shakily sitting up.

Jungkook's hands hovered in the air, ready to help or catch you if you fell. "I'm sorry, I went a little further than I usually do. But I was only gone overnight. It wasn't that long."

"It felt like days," You whined, tears stinging your eyes.

"I'm sorry," He whispered, cupping your cheek and brushing some hair away from your eye. "I didn't mean to upset you so much."

"It's okay, I'm just...a crybaby," You muttered, cheeks flushing at the fond smile that crossed Jungkook's face — a cute bunny-like smile.

"I...can help you feel better, if you'd let me," He asked, moving to sit beside you on the couch. "My species can cure illnesses, remember?"

"How will you do that?" You asked, voice a little slurred.

"Well..." In the moon's illumination, you could see his ears burning red. "I...I can kiss you?"

Your mind blanked at those words, blinking several times to take in what he said. You recalled what he said about his saliva, or any fluid, possessing the chemical to cure illnesses. Still, despite the fact it was for medicinal purposes, your stomach fluttered with butterflies and your heart stuttered in your chest the idea of kissing him.

"I-I don't mind..." You uttered, subconsciously licking your lips.

He cupped your cheek, leaning down and ever so softly brushed his lips against yours. When you sighed happily at the contact, he surged forward and pulled you into a much deeper kiss. Your lips moved in unison and you couldn't help but reach up to wrap your arms around his neck.

Shuddering, you held in a whimper when his tongue met your lips. You eagerly opened your mouth, shuddering as the taste of him lingered upon your tongue. Your fingers clutched at his hair as you continued to deepen the kiss.

After several long, lovely seconds of the kiss — he finally pulled away. There was a small strand of saliva still connecting the two of you. He brushed his thumb across your lips, breaking the strand.

The two of you sighed, falling silent but he kept his hand on your cheek.

"You should rest now, you'll feel better soon," He whispered, standing up and stepping away.

You missed his touch immediately, and watched him until he disappeared behind his bedroom door.

You curled up under the blanket, fingers pressed to your lips as the feeling of him kissing you lingered. The way your heart began to race made you sigh heavily; what an effect he had on you.

The next day, you were feeling much better and were back to eating properly. You could tell Jungkook was happy; he was positively beaming and smiling at you every chance he got.

It was cute.

The two of you were playing a card game; using some cards you'd had in your bag for when you were bored on the trip through Fanet IV. You were teaching him Earth games and how to play.

You were just about to beat him for the 5th time at Go Fish when there was a heavy knock on the door. Both of you jumped and Jungkook was on his feet in a second.

His whole body was tense and his fists were clenched so tightly that his knuckles were white. He carefully moved in front of you, shielding your body from the door subconsciously.

"Wh-What is it?" You asked, keeping your voice low.

"No one should come here," He whispered back. "Go hide in the bedroom, alright?"

"But Jungkook—"

"Just do it!" He snapped, giving a gentle push to your back to urge you into the open doorway.

You spared him a longing glance before he pulled the door shut with a soft click.

You took a seat on his bed, listening through the thin walls as Jungkook's heavy footsteps moved towards the door. There was a loud click as he unlocked the deadbolt.

There was a quick beat of silence before a slam so loud that you had to cover your mouth to keep from shrieking.

"Fuck! What the fuck are you doing here?!" You heard Jungkook shout.

"Followed you home," Came a gruff, almost bored-sounding reply. "You weren't very smart. Didn't even notice you were being tailed."

"Fuck," You heard Jungkook swear.

"Now, I hope you make this easy for me and just come along nicely," The stranger asked. “Maybe if you tell me where more are hiding, I'll go easy on you.”

Jungkook didn't offer a reply but you could hear heavy boots approaching the bedroom door. You kept your hands over your mouth to keep from making a peep as you slid off the bed and huddled yourself into a dark corner.

The stranger suddenly shrieked and there was a heavy thud of someone falling to the floor. Jungkook let out a string of curses before there was a crash, grunting and scuffling filling your ears.

What was going on?

From where you hid, you could see a little box beneath Jungkook's bed. As quietly as you could, you pulled it out and opened it up.

It was an array of several different knives. Eyes flicking over to the door, you hatched an idea to hopefully help.

If Jungkook didn't win, the man was going to take him away. The mere thought of that happening sent a spark of terror through you.

Picking up the biggest knife that was in the box, you tiptoed over to the door. You could still hear the two of them fighting, the sound covering up the soft click of the door opening. Peeking through the crack, you were shocked to see the table smashed completely. The man was pinning Jungkook down by his throat. Jungkook was struggling, obviously unable to get air. The stranger laughed mockingly down at him.

Your hands and knees were trembling as you quickly crept out.

"You barely even put up a fight," The stranger spat at Jungkook. "You Heajix never were able to take us on though, isn't that right? That's why we were able to kill so many of you! Such incredible strength yet still unable to protect yourselves. Pathetic.” 

You couldn't even register his words as you finally stood behind him. Jungkook's eyes were fluttering and he was dangerously close to passing out.

Steeling yourself, you raised the knife overhead and brought it down as hard as you could. The man shrieked so loud that your ears were ringing. The knife was stuck in his back, buried more than halfway through. Part of you felt proud for putting the power behind the attack.

Jungkook let out a desperate gasp, finally getting the oxygen he desperately needed. While you were distracted looking at Jungkook, the strange man spun around and grabbed you by your throat.

"I knew there was someone else here," The man snarled, squeezing your neck as hard as he could.

You couldn't even make a sound of pain as your feet were lifted off the ground. Your vision was swimming but you could make you Jungkook getting to his feet. The man, you noticed, had strange glowing eyes — as if a light were coming from behind them and illuminating the whites.

In the blink of an eye, Jungkook ripped the knife from your assailants back — making him drop you in shock. You hit the ground hard, knocking what little air you had left in you right out.

Jungkook was on the man before he could even blink, stabbing him several times until he was on his knees. Jungkook paused, chest and shoulders heaving as he glared down at the man.

Then, you watched with wide eyes as Jungkook lifted his leg and kicked the man so hard his body physically flew back. The man was limp, blood dripping from his mouth and nose — eyes open and unseeing.

"Holy shit..." You whispered from where you were still laying on the floor.

"Are you alright?" Jungkook asked, helping you sit up with a gentleness that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. His hands were coated in the intruders blood but you didn't mind.

Throwing your arms around his shoulders, you knocked him down on his butt. You hugged him tight, sighing when you felt him wrap his own arms around you.

"I-I didn't know what to do," You whispered. "He was saying he was going to take you away. I saw you were about to pass out and I knew he would take you. I'm sorry I got involved."

"Hey, it's okay," Jungkook pulled back and smiled. "You saved me! Maybe you aren't as helpless as I thought."

You smiled, shaking your head. Then, without thinking, you leaned forward and pressed your lips against his. He froze for a fraction of a second but quickly cupped the back of your head and returned the kiss.

When you parted, you asked, "So what do we do with him?"

"The Vorderans are going to come looking for him when they notice he's not reported back to them," Jungkook mumbled, looking over his shoulder at the body. "I'll take him out somewhere and dump him off where they won't be able to link it to me."

"You're going to leave right after that?" You asked, your shoulders slumping.

"I shouldn't be gone long, _____," He smiled, brushing his thumb over your pouted lips.

"But what if there are more of them? What if they take you away and I don't even know!"

As if sensing the panic in your voice, he cupped your cheeks and brought your gaze to him.

"That won't happen," He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead — sending your heart into painful palpitations. "It'll be easier to hide out there and easier to lose them if they do find me. I promise, I'll come back and everything will be okay."

"I'm just...scared, Jungkook," You admitted, feeling your eyes burn.

"I know," He sighed, pressing another kiss to your forehead. Your cheeks immediately felt like they were on fire. "But I would never leave you like that."

You clung onto him as long as he allowed you before he decided it was best to get going. He told you to hide in his room until he got back and to just rest.

"Don't open the door," He warned, though he already knew he didn't have to worry about that.

Left alone, you didn't know what to do with yourself. You'd watched Jungkook lift the body like it was nothing — which only reminded you of what the Vorderan has said; Heajix just had incredible physical strength.

You had a much better concept of time since you weren't sick and you were sure 2 days had passed since you'd last seen Jungkook. You could barely sleep, anxiety plaguing every second that he was gone.

You'd taken to sleeping in his bed, taking comfort in his scent surrounding you. Thankfully, Jungkook had managed to stock up on food so you were able to properly eat in his absence. Though it was more a mechanical task to pass the time than it was for actually sustaining you.

It hadn't occurred to you how much he had changed until you were laying in his bed one night. You thought back to the rough, cold exterior he had when you first met him. And now you were blessed with his smile and comforting caresses.

He made your heart ache in the best way and you wanted to hold him and have him kiss you over and over again. He was so sweet and did his best to take care of you.

You'd really been lucky that he was around when he was that night.

The fact he hadn't returned didn't help quell the fears of more Vorderans being around just waiting for someone to come around. For a Heajix to take away.

You didn't think you would hate an alien planet over the sake of another alien race but you knew the Heajix had been treated unfairly. It was cruel and the fact it was just allowed to happen and no one cared really made you angry.

If you ever got back to Earth you were going to do something to help.

You were lost thinking about the things you could do to help when the front door clicked open.

A spark of fear went down your spine as you sat straight up in the bed. Through the door and walls, you could hear heavy footsteps moving around.

They moved to the door and paused. You held your breath, pulling the covers up to your chin as you watched the door creak open.

A black head of fluffy hair popped in and smiled when he saw you sitting there.

"I was wondering where you—!" He was cut off by you flying off the bed and throwing yourself into his arms.

"You're home!" You gasped, burying your face in his neck. You didn't bother fighting the tears that tumbled down your cheeks.

"Yeah..." You could hear the smile in his voice as he wrapped his arms around you, fisting the back of your shirt tightly as if you would slip away. "I'm home."

"I was so worried and..." Your cheeks burned before you muttered, "I missed you."

Reaching up, he cupped both your cheeks in his hands, making you look up at him. You leaned into the feeling of his touch on your skin as he wiped your tears away ever so carefully. He leaned down, pressing his lips against yours.

"I missed you too," He smiled, pecking your lips again. "But I'm back just like I promised I would be. I told you I'd never leave you, right?"

"You're right," You whispered, moving forward to kiss him again. He eagerly reciprocated and you whined into his lips.

He gripped your hips, rough and harsh. You winced, pulling your lips away slightly only for him to chase them — muttering a soft apology before relaxing his grip.

Neither of you wasted time moving to the bed. With your back pressed against the mattress and his wide shoulders above you, you couldn’t help the shiver running down your spine.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pulled him down for another kiss.

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” He breathed against your lips.

“Please,” You whispered, reaching down to tug at the hem of his dirty shirt.

“So pretty when you beg,” He growled, sitting up on his knees to pull the shirt off.

Immediately, your hands were roaming across his chest — grazing over scars and tattoos.

He groaned when your fingers brushed over his pebbled nipples. Leaning down, he nipped against the sensitive skin of your neck. As you sighed in pleasure, he began to push your own shirt up until he was able to toss it away.

Sitting up, he let out a curse at the sight of your bare breasts. One large hand cupped one, thumb rolling the nipple harshly until you whimpered. His lips moved down your neck to take the other nipple into his hot mouth, tongue flicking the bud. Your hands wound into his hand, back arching to get more of the delicious feeling.

“Jungkook, please…” You whined, arching your hips upwards. “I-I want you so much.”

“Yeah?” He groaned against your breast, moving to take your other perked nipple into his mouth. “Who would have figured I’d already have you begging?”

“I missed you so much, Jungkook,” You whined, sniffling softly as the emotions came rushing back. “I need you to touch me, please.”

“I’m sorry, baby,” He whispered, leaning back up to peck your lips.

In one swift move, your pants were tugged down your legs until you were left in just your panties. He hummed cupping your heat through the fabric, easily finding your clit and pressing against it. You sighed, head rolling back as you ground your hips down into his touch. Unable to take it, you reached down and tugged your panties off. He allowed you, watching as you kicked them away and spread your legs for him.

“Fuck,” He groaned, dropping onto his stomach between your legs. “So pretty and wet.”

Your legs trembled as he slid two fingers between your folds, spreading them to expose your leaking entrance. He groaned, low in his chest before quickly diving in to catch some of your arousal on his tongue. You sighed, eyes fluttering close as he swirled his tongue over your clit.

“Ah, Jungkook!” You cried, gripping his hair.

“Fuck,” He growled, pulling back slightly. “Does that feel good, baby?”

“G-Gentle,” You whined, gripping his hair tighter. “It’s sensitive.”

He didn’t respond, simply chuckled before diving back in. He took your clit into his mouth and sucked until your back arched. Soon, he introduced his fingers — easily sliding two in. There was a slight burn but it lasted only a second.

“You can take 3, right?” He chuckled, rolling his tongue over your clit. “You’re gonna need that many to even think of trying to take my knot.”

“Kn-Knot?” You gasped, unable to wrap your head fully around his words as he pumped the two digits in and out.

Your hips bucked when he hit your g-spot. Your eyes rolled as he continued to abuse the spot while playing with your clit in any way he could.

“I’m gonna cum soon, Kook,” You whined, unaware the pet name had slipped through your lips.

He growled, viciously pounding his fingers upwards and suckling your clit into his mouth. Your mouth opened in a silent scream, a tight coil of pleasure winding in your stomach. Opening your eyes, you looked down to see his bangs matted to his forehead with sweat. His eyes were closed and his brows were furrowed in concentration. He looked like he was in utopia himself.

What broke the cord, however, was when he eased the third finger into you. You gasped, back arching as you cried out his name — cumming around the digits. He didn’t stop, fucking your spasming hole and sucking on your twitching clit throughout your entire high until you were whining and pushing him away.

He separated his mouth from you with a lewd pop and slid his fingers out. You felt empty, clenching around nothing as he popped his cum soaked fingers in his mouth. His eyes rolled back at your taste and he chased what was left on his lips until there was nothing left of your cum.

He stood at the foot of the bed, unbuttoning his jeans and letting them slide to the floor until he could step out of them. He wasn’t wearing any underwear and you nearly drooled at the sight of his hard cock— weeping at the flushed, red tip with a soft swell at the base of his cock.

You scooted forward on your knees, wrapping your hand around his shaft and leaning forward to slide your tongue of the slit. He sighed, head falling back on his shoulders as you took the thick head on your mouth and sucked. The taste of his precum was delectable — salty-sweet with a bitter tang.

“You’ll make me cum too fast with your pretty lips on me like that, baby,” He whispered, gripping your hair to pull you away.

You whined at the loss but let him urge you onto your back. Your feet hanging off the end of the bed and Jungkook standing at the end with a fist wrapped around his cock made you lick your lips. He looked so powerful standing over you like he was.

“Scoot back,” He ordered, crawling onto the bed after you.

With your head in the pillows, you spread your legs for him. Knees on either side of his waist, you both looked down to watch as he slid the head of his cock between your wet folds — coating himself in your juices. A split second of hesitation as he positioned his tip at your entrance felt like an eternity.

“Are you sure you want to…?” He asked softly, mindlessly slapped your clit with the head of himself. 

“Please,” You gasped, wrapping your hand in his hair to tug him down.

Your mouths simultaneously fell open as he pressed inside, the fat head spreading your walls open. The sound was wet as he sunk inside, dirty and obscene. Your eyes rolled back as he finally bottomed out — the base of him almost as thick as his head.

He dropped down onto his elbows beside your head, pulling you in for another kiss as he began to thrust in and out of your clenching walls.

Every time he sunk inside, he grazed your g-spot making you moan.

“So fucking tight,” He growled. “I don’t know if you’ll be able to take my knot, babygirl.”

“K-Kook—”

“Fuck!” He snarled, cock twitching at the sound of the nickname, slamming his cock into you harshly, making you whined. “Keep calling me that.”

“Kook!” You cried, scrambling to claw at his muscled back.

“I’m gonna knock you up, beautiful,” He breathed, chuckling when he felt you clench around him. “Oh? You like the sound of that? Tell me.”

“Pl-Please kn-knock me up, Kook,” You begged, voice breathy as you fought back sobs of pleasure.

“Yeah, sound so pretty begging for my cum,” He chuckled, reached down to find your swollen clit. “How about you cum for me first?”

Your mouth fell open as everything became even more intense. He didn’t stop the rapid circles on your clit until you were crying out his name and arching. You gushed around him, walls spasming uncontrollably as he fucked you through the high.

As you came down, everything became more intense and sensitive. Every time he sunk inside, the base of his cock would catch at your entrance and stretch you just a tad more. You clung to him, eyes closed as he fucked his knot into your sensitive walls.

“I’m gonna cum,” He warned, suddenly pausing balls deep — his knot popped into your walls, swollen big enough that he couldn't pull back out.

You could feel his cock as it pulsed inside of you — a hot rush of cum immediately following. His head fell into the crook of your neck as he moaned and trembled above you. The knot at the base of his cock throbbed — urging more and more cum out of his cock.

He chuckled darkly, looking down at your swelling tummy — having been stuffed full of his cum that couldn’t escape around his knot.

Your cunt clenched around him and you whined. You felt so full but it felt so good.

Jungkook's nimble fingers found your clit and began to circle the hardened bud in brutal circles. With a dark smirk on his lips, he met your gaze where your eyes were wide and your mouth was open in a silent moan.

"That's it...give it to me, baby," He ordered, grinding his hips against you — his knot and cock stirring your sensitive walls up. “Cum on my knot for me, like a good girl.” 

Your head fell back against the pillow as your back arched. The both of you moaned in unison at your orgasm, the tight squeeze and gush from your orgasm set him off again. Tightening his grip on your hips made you whine but the pain blended into the pleasure as Jungkook's knot throbbed as more cum poured into your already well-filled cunt. Slowly, his body relaxed and he heaved a sigh before beginning to change your positions.

His knot tugged at your walls, making you both hiss. You laid side by side, your head resting on his arm.

As you both caught your breath, you felt his knot slowly shrink until he was able to pull out completely. You whimpered at the gush of cum that followed — oozing out of your stretched entrance and staining the bed beneath you.

He groaned, dropping back onto his stomach between your legs. Feeling embarrassed, you moved to close your legs but his strong hands caught you and forced them back open. You covered your face with your hands and whined as he suddenly slid his tongue across your cum-soaked folds.

Absolutely obscene sounds of him moaning and licking you clean filled the space. Your hips jerked in oversensitivity whenever he brushed over your clit.

Sliding his tongue into your entrance, he caught and swallowed down everything he could reach. Him eating his own cum out of you had your walls clenching again and he chuckled before pulling away.

Pulling your hands away from your heated cheeks, he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours. You whined, circling your arms around his neck as he fed his cum into your mouth for you to swallow.

You moaned at the taste of him, swallowing everything he gave you — continuing to kiss long after you swallowed it. The remnants of his cum lingered on your tongue and on his lips.

Pulling back, he leaned his forehead against yours and moved to lay on his side beside you once again. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he pulled your body close to his.

The two of you dissolved into a comfortable silence; his fingers tracing random shapes along your skin and you taking in his sweet scent and enjoying the warmth of his arms around you.

You were sitting with Jungkook on the floor in front of the couch. Since the table was broken, the two of you were using the couch as a makeshift table. He had an array of papers and old book across the surface and had been spending the last two days teaching you to read the Heajix written alphabet. It was difficult and you frequently confused letters but Jungkook was patient — and gave you kisses whenever you got something right which was great incentive.

Unfortunately, the relaxing atmosphere was broken by a series of knocks on the front door. Jungkook was on his feet immediately, knife drawn and at the ready.

You stayed back, watching as he approached the door and slowly unlocked it. You watched as he took a deep breath and threw the door open.

"What—" Jungkook was at a loss. There was a man standing at the door with his hands up to show he was unarmed.

"My name is Hakyeon," He said, motioning to his badge. "I work for the Interplanetary Embassy on Earth. We received an Emergency beacon and we've been told the human was here."

"Holy shit! It actually got through?!" You cried, jumping to your feet and running over to the open door. "Why did it take you so damn long?"

Hakyeon looked confused, shaking his head. "We received it only 2 days ago...I was the nearest representative and was tasked with finding you."

"Weird..." You mumbled, shrugging your shoulders. "I guess I can go home now, right?"

"If that's what you wish still, yes," He replied, eyeing Jungkook by your side.

"Um," You cleared your throat. "Your ship will be nearby right?"

"Yes, I'll...wait for you there," Hakyeon said, taking the hint.

The door shut and Jungkook was silent.

"Jungkook—"

"I guess you're leaving, right?" He asked, keeping his eyes down. "There's no logical reason for me to ask you to stay here...it's dangerous and you should be somewhere safe."

"But Jungkook..." You reached forward to touch him but he backed away.

"If I'm honest, ______," He wandered away, leaving you to watch him. His voice was shaky, wobbling with the onslaught of tears. "I really don't want you to go and I know that's selfish! But I really don't think I can be alone again. Especially after finding someone I can actually love."

"Jungkook!" You snapped, making him look at you. You sighed speedily walking up to him and pressing your lips to his before he could back away. "I love you too."

"But—"

"Come with me," You whispered, clutching the front of his shirt in your hands. "Come back to Earth with me. We'll find someone there who will help. The Embassy would be more than willing to assist in the cleanup and protection of Palacios and Heajix. You can speak for everyone here who is struggling to survive and those you haven't."

"You want me to come with you?" He breathed, covering your hands with his. Tears still fell from his eyes but in a matter of seconds, he was smiling and pulling you against him in a hug so tight it knocked the air out of you.

"Of course I do, stupid!" You laughed, hugging him back as tight as you could. "Why would I leave you when you refused to leave me, huh?"

"...I love you," He whispered, giving you another kiss.

"Let's get our things together," You said before the two of you separated.

Jungkook packed his bag with anything important, sentimental or not. You noticed he packed his picture away with a sad smile.

Once the two of you were ready, you took his hand and walked out the door. He paused and looked behind him, at the house he'd been living in for the longest time. The boarded up windows and the water reservoir he'd spent ages perfecting.

You squeezed his hand, drawing his attention back to you. He smiled, taking the first step away.

You felt yourself relax against the seat once the two of you were on the craft. Jungkook was gripping your hand tight — it was hurting a bit but you didn't say anything. His gaze was locked on the window, watching as his home planet disappeared from view.

The surface was covered in a green, gaseous layer of pollution and smog that he seemed almost surprised to see. The pollution of the planet was most evident one outside of the planet's atmosphere.

"I'm happy you're here, Jungkook," You whispered, leaning your head on his shoulder.

"I am too," He replied, resting his head against yours as he watched the stars and planets pass by until Palacios was out of view.

[fatiguing-thoughts]

"Always Bella II" - Jacob Black x Reader

Summary: Jacob x reader angst. Bella always comes first. I'm going to hurt your feelings so if you don't want that please don't read this. Part Two to " Always Bella " There will be a part three.

Read: Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part IV / Part V

My bed was achingly cold. In fact, my entire being has been achingly cold since that day Jacob disappeared, leaving me in the rain with Bella Swan.

Even worse, Jacob had been radio silent ever since. What I thought would jumpstart our contact again seemed to only push us further apart.

"Leave me alone, (Y/N)."

"Jacob." I begged. "Jake, please."

"No, I have nothing left to say. I don't want you in my life anymore." His cold voice cut through the phone before he abruptly hung up.

That phone call echoed in my brain daily, it haunted my nightmares.

The one person I could always count on was gone, it seemed he was no longer the person I fell in love with.

Jacob was no longer my sunshine, my rock. He was angry, he was cold.

Nothing felt real anymore. I didn't feel real anymore, I had nobody to turn to. Bella tried to speak to me, but I had nothing to say. I blamed her for everything going on between Jake and I, or lack thereof.

I haven't been to First Beach nearly as much as I used to, it hurt too much.

It hurt too much to be there. The memories of Jacob and I played through my head, ringing through my ears. Tears pricked my eyes as I heard his laughter echo the walls of my brain, burning a pit into my stomach. I was sick at the thought of him.

Empathetic looks from Sam, Quil, and Embry plagued my vision when I went. I couldn't even be bothered with them, though.

They didn't tell me shit.

No matter how many times I asked, they wouldn't give me anything. I needed to know what was going on with Jacob.

I needed to know why I felt like I was dying. Like every fiber of my being was falling apart.

I felt like a hole was ripped right through my chest.

Why did it hurt this bad?

It felt as if I couldn't breathe anymore. It were as if someone was sitting on my chest, holding my head underwater.

This pain was unimaginable. Losing Jacob hurt, the pain was only getting worse-- and more physical as time went on.

It wasn't this bad before I saw him in person.

When he first disappeared, it hurt-- but not like this.

No, this was pure pain. Ever since our eyes met that day in the rain, it felt as if my soul was ripped right from my chest, set ablaze in front of my very own eyes.

Nothing was the same without Jacob. He was everywhere I looked. Finding a few shirts or hoodies of his in my room was pure pain. Music hurt too much, I couldn't look at my shitbox car any longer. The countless memories of us spending hours working on it, screwing around and having way too much fun trying to fix the old vehicle swirled throughout my thoughts.

It was all too much, everything was physical pain. I felt myself slipping into a dangerously low place, but I couldn't really explain why I was so effected by this.

Yes, I was in love with him, but this was abnormal. A pain like this wasn't normal, it almost didn't feel real.

Life had lost it's color without Jacob Black. The sun was no longer shining, no longer bringing me warmth.

I was empty, I was cold. Nothing could bring me the warmth I needed to continue; nothing could fix the sharp, aching pain I felt in my chest.

Except maybe Jacob.

I felt it in my lungs with every breath.

Dark circles clung to the underneath of my eyes, I felt myself growing weaker every day. The pain radiated through my aching soul every day.

Why was I hurting like this? How was this even possible?

I stared at the screen of my phone, observing all the texts I've sent to Jacob the last few weeks, all unanswered. All of the times I tried to call him, also with no answer.

I hadn't tried in a week, the feeling of rejection taking over my entire body. I didn't understand why, but Jacob truly hated me now. He no longer felt connected to me, there was nothing left between us.

I laid in my bed for what felt like days.

To be fair, it was probably days.

I stared at the beams of light peaking through my curtains, dancing among the comforter laying upon my freezing cold body.

This comforter provided me with no warmth. Nothing could warm me any longer. The way I felt was indescribable.

Something in me burned. I yearned to see him, I felt this pull. I needed to find him.

I grabbed the keys to my car, threw a sweater on and made my way over to First Beach for the first time in what felt like ages.

The drive was a blur, no music played through my speakers. No amount of heat that blasted through the vents brought me comfort, it felt as if my fingertips were going to freeze off. It felt like the hole in my chest was only growing larger, bringing me deeper into this pit of despair.

I stepped out of my car, walking towards the bodies I saw in the distance. Embry and Quil sat on a log, chatting in front of an unlit bonfire; as you guessed it-- two empathetic looks flashed my way before they quickly contorted to looks of concern.

I shook off their looks, my cold cheeks and dreary eyes peering around to find who I looked for. I watched as Quil's eyes darted left before quickly returning to my gaze.

I turned my attention to where he looked and saw Jacob.

But he was with Bella. Though he looked disheveled, he still had enough strength to see her.

I watched as she pulled him in for a hug. The way he held her in his arms instantly made me sick.

I felt the air leave my lungs as the pain in my chest only intensified. It felt as if someone punched my in the gut.

I watched as his shoulders rose and fell, seemingly out of breath.

It didn't matter, though. He was with her.

No matter what made him as distressed as he had become, Bella was still around even if he cut me off with no explanation. He couldn't have me in his life but he would always keep her around.

I couldn't even cry, all my tears were gone. I had to tear my eyes from the sight as I felt whatever was left of my soul leave my body yet again. My knees practically gave out from under me at the sight, making my turn around very clumsy.

My vision grew cloudy as I walked back to my car. Black spots taking over my vision as I sat in the driver's seat. I laid my head on the steering wheel, holding onto it to ground myself.

It's always Bella.

Every time, he chooses her.

My knuckles where white from gripping the wheel so hard. I tried to make myself breathe, but it wasn't working as the pain in my chest was only getting worse. I felt my consciousness slipping as I grew weaker.

"It's always Bella." I exhaled as I felt myself grow limp, succumbing to the darkness that plagued my vision.

__________________________________________

Read: Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part IV / Part V

***Taglist***

@art-flirt @lazyotakujen @cole22ann @yellowjellobean

[wizkiddx]

hiii!!! omg please please pleasee do a part two of 3 hearts broken cus it fucking slaps miss girl

part 2 to 3 broken hearts!!! ive been so 🥺 at all the lovely comments+interest pt 1 had so thanku all !

summary: serious serious angst again will tom somehow get it back (unlike looking cos boy is a fool)

warnings: again lots of swearing (im British sorry not sorry) / wayyyy too much tea / slating Dom abit (obvs fictional but idk if I like the guy sorry his opinions are :/) / commitment issues

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

read part 1 here!!!!

That was three days ago now. Three days since you'd spoken to your boyfrien- well, Tom. It wasn't evident what the situation was.

The typical British weather brought with it the most ironic pathetic fallacy you could ever see. The clouds were dark and glooming, firing angry pellets of rain out as hard as they could. When you had pulled up on the roadside, it had just been a light drizzle but synchronised with your anxiety levels rising - so did the rain. When you finally opened up the car door, you threw your hoodie open with a sigh before running up the pathway to the front door.

It was the same burgundy red that you knew so well, but this time instead of just letting yourself in - you stood in the rain used the brass knocker thing twice. To be honest, you were hoping that no one was home - but in that house, it was pretty unlikely. After 30 seconds of getting drenched in the downpour, you were about to let yourself in with the spare key before the door swung open.

"Oh! Er Y/n?"

"Yeh um hi." You had to shout a bit over the sound of what must now be classified as a storm.

"Toms not-"

"I know. Can I come in?" As awkward and stunted as this conversation was, if you didn't get out of the rain asap you would literally end up drowned.

“Oh er yeh-yeh yeh come in.”

Harry stammered as he held the door open, gesturing for you to enter into the tiled hallway. Gratefully, you followed, throwing your sopping wet hood back down and wiping your feet on the floor.

"Sorry for just showing up, but I left some scripts here. My management are on my arse to read them and-"

"And you waited till Tom left for mum and dads?" The fluffy-haired boy has caught you red-handed; there was no defence, so you didn't even try.

Because yes, you knew on a Friday afternoon when Tom was home he would always, like clockwork, go to his parents just to kick back and watch gogglebox with both of them. It was only natural then that you chose Friday afternoon to come and pick up your stuff.

"I've been waiting in my car for half an hour till I saw him leave." Harry half laughed at that, still the two of you standing opposite each other in the hallway. "Um, do you… do you hate me Harry?"

Clearly, he hadn't quite been expecting your question going by the way his eyes almost bugged out his head.

"No, I-I, of course, I don't… look, I'm home alone so you fancy a cuppa?" Not being able to help the small chuckle, you nodded appreciatively, following Harry through the house.

"Your answer to everything is tea."

Harry had prepared the two mugs in silence as you sat at the table waiting patiently - if nervously too. You didn't miss how Harry had still used your favourite mug, having had to dig through the cupboard to find the weird square-shaped thing. Once done, he rounded the kitchen island and placed it in front of you, which you instantly cradled in two hands - for the hope of warming you up.

"You cold?" Obviously, it was pretty evident that sitting in your rain-soaked hoodie was not cosy at all. "Hang on a sec."

The boy sprung up again, returning moments later with a hoodie in hand, one he offered out to you with a little smile. The issue was that him and Tom shared clothes, so the hoodie he was kindly offering to you also had been worn by Tom before. Which made it hurt a little bit to wear. It was better than sitting soaked through though.

"How have you been then?"

"Not the best, to be honest, but uh… how about you?"

"Being with Tom while he's fighting with you? Oh, it's a barrel of laughs. You might've escaped it, but I haven't." He was trying to lighten the mood, and you appreciated it, offering him a half-smile that didn't really meet your eyes.

"Yeh sorry about that."

"Don't apologise; it doesn't sound like it's your fault Y/n."

That surprised you. Tom, especially when he was in moods like he was when you argued, wasn't one to admit when he was wrong. It was usually how the world was against him and how he was so hard done by. Accepting responsibility was something he hadn't said to you yet - but at least, small steps.

"He say that?"

"Pretty much… doesn't seem like he's angry at you, but-but he's still angry."

"At the world?" You rolled your eyes; this seemed to be the same old Tom through and through. Still immature. Still not with the right mindset.

"At himself." Harry countered, slightly entertained, when he saw the flash of surprise in your face as he sipped his drink. "And me… if I dare to so much as breathe this week."

This time you properly laughed, and Harry joined in too before the room fell back to silence - except the noise of the rain hitting the garden patio slats. You swirled the tea round in your mug, feeling the brunette's eyes on you. He'd always been your fake little brother too, since you'd met the Hollands way back 3 and a half years ago. Tom and yourself were barely adults, which meant the twins were still proper children. Harry had always been the one that understood you. Hollands, by nature, loved humans - loved to talk, to chat, to gossip. But sometimes, doing all that socialising got too much for you, as it did for Harry. He was the only one that seemed to understand social exhaustion. So when those moments had hit, you'd kept each other company in silence.

He got you, sometimes in ways your own boyfriend didn't.

"You know why he got so worked up, right?" You shook your head, looking up curiously. "Dad got under his skin on his birthday zoom thing."

Ah, now that did seem to coincide with the start of Tom's more petulant phase. To be fair, Tom had been asking to move in together for near enough a year now - but it was only in the past month it seemed to be the only thing you'd talk about and obviously only three days since the flight back. Dom's birthday barely a week ago, whilst you and Tom were both filming - except Tom had managed to get a day off where you hadn't. So you hadn't heard this conversation.

"What'd he say?"

"Was talking about how he and mum were settling down at Toms age, joked about how you rejected him, said maybe you were holding out for something better."

"Something better?" Harry sighed, leaning forward onto his elbows.

"He'd seen an article just off a trashy tabloid… it named you Hollywood's golden girl or something, said you could have the pick of any person on the planet…"

Of all the people in the world, why is Tom affected by shit journalism? He knows how much bullshit people write. He knows how it's all made up, exaggerated nonsense. And what he should know, completely and totally, is how much you love him. And if he didn't, was that your fault? Had you done something wrong, something to make him doubt you?

Harry seemed to notice the internal dialogue going on in your head, adding to the point. "It wasn't the article though, it was the fact dad said it."

Hmmm.

You and Dom got on; it wasn't like you hated the possible future father in law or whatever. Just…. you had very different outlooks. As much as Tom prided himself on how' grounded his family keeps him' -to you at least, they aren't entirely at sea level either. They'd never really had any particular struggles in life. They were the definition of middle class, and that's about it. They lived in a posh suburb of London, had all their family still around. It was the perfect family.

And whilst you were in no illusions about how privileged your life was now. It hadn't always been. You'd never had the 'nuclear' family. Instead, only your dad and a string of dodgy and fleeting stepmothers while struggling to make ends meet. So you were just always wary of Dom, of his opinions that so often his boys took for gospel. They always seemed pretty sheltered and close-minded.

And yet, Tom was a grown man.

"I get that, I just… Tom should know that we know more about our relationship than his dad. I mean,… have I done something wrong? Made him think I'm not in this for the long haul?"

"No nonono Y/n he's just… well he's an idiot, isn't he? I don't think he properly understands why you're cautious about moving and everything. He's just an idio- "

Harry was cut off for lightly insulting his brother by the sound of the front door opening, both of your heads swivelling towards the source. You then met Harry's eyes in a panic, to which he replied relatively simply.

"Just talk to each other. For my sake." You would've argued if it weren't for the fact you were so focused on Tom's shuffling around in the entrance hallway - back early from his parents.

"Baz? Where you at? I thought I saw Y/n's car and-"

"Kitchen!!!" Before Tom could say anything else, possibly landing himself in more trouble, Harry interrupted as his chair screeched while standing up. And then Tom was just there. Standing in the doorway, his arms dropping limply to his side as he noticed you. Everything about that moment seemed to freeze, when you locked eyes with him for the first time in three days. It didn't go unnoticed, the way his Adams apple bobbed, the way his eyes widen. The boy looked plain and simply terrified.

It was Harry who broke the silence, after giving you a stern look that said 'stay'. The younger Holland boy walked up to Tom and spoke.

"Try actually talking and actually listening about your problems with each other." And then he was gone, down the hallway and up the stairs.

For a few moments, Tom stayed absolutely stationary, now staring at where Harry had been when speaking to the both of you (but mainly Tom). Long enough to put your sense of unease at an all-time high, ready to make a break for it.

"If you don't want to talk, then I can leav-"

"NO!" Apparently snapping out of it, Tom exclaimed loud enough to make you flinch from your seat. "Sorry! I-I just… I wasn't expecting to… you know, to see you."

"Yeh I just uh- just came to pick up some scripts… Harry cornered me with a tea, though; otherwise, I'd be…."

"Baz thinks the whole world could be fixed with tea."

"that's what I said!" You instinctively responded, forgetting the fact you're supposed to be mad at him, and just for a second falling back into your normal flow.

Tom didn't even try to hide his grin in response, until you quickly corrected your face- then he did too. Turning around to put the kettle on for himself. Because right now, he needed to fix his whole world, and he needed all the help he could get. For a period, the only noise was the sound of the kettle boiling, then the teaspoon clinking against the mug as he stirred - until he padded over, taking the seat across from you.

"So."

"So."

"It's been a while," Tom stated the bloody obvious.

"You never called."

"Didn't think you'd want me to."

You thought that the early signs weren't all that auspicious. His ability to read a situation once again failing.

"I wanted you to say something."

"Say what?"

"What do you think Tom?" He replied to the sarcastic tone by sucking in a sharp breath, holding it for a second, before slowly exhaling. As if trying to compose himself, take time to think of a response - a mature move for him.

"Well, I think you want me to say sorry? For being so moody and not waiting for you and for upsetting those kids. And thanks too, for covering for me?"

You just hummed. Waiting for him to continue. Because yes, you did deserve all those things. But you also deserved more. An apology for, oh I don't know, saying he didn't think you loved him? It was a wait that never ended, he had nothing more to add.

"Going by your face, I take it I missed something?"

The bloody cheek of it.

"Theres nothing else? Nothing else at all? …" You gave him that chance, the opportunity but all he could respond with was a shake of his head. "You thought I was fine about you saying that I don't love you?" You hadn't intended on raising your voice, but really you hadn't realised you did till after the fact. To blinded by rage at his ignorance.

"You want to talk about this now?"

"When else Tom?" You sighed, realising he perhaps wasn't ready for this conversation. Maybe he needed more time to think things through, have sense talked into him by various wiser family members. Or maybe, he never would be. That was the worst-case scenario. But also… you're most likely prediction.

He shuffled in his seat, clearing his voice but not saying anything. Not a peep.

"I have spent three years of my life with you. I've had countless nights of too little sleep because that was the only time you could facetime. I've exposed my relationship to the world and people's opinions because you didn't want to hide. All I've done is love you. How could you even say that?" There might've been tears in your eyes, yet you were determined to keep them at bay. You needed to have this out, one way or another, to be clear and cohesive and logical. No time to cry.

"Y/n I know that, I…" He sighed, instinctively reaching for your hand, but you were quicker to pull it away. There was hurt in his eyes, but so there should be. "It just sometimes feels like that's it for you. That yeh you love me but you just want to standstill. That this is as much as it'll ever be."

Your emotions were suddenly uncontainable. Your voice croaked as you whispered, "Have I done something wrong?"

"No love, nonono if that's how you feel then that's okay. But it's something I'm not… shit this is hard." He took a pause to take a sip of his drink, your glazed eyes never leaving his. "I don't think I can stand still anymore. And yeh I was pissy and childish the other day because my dad got under my skin about the whole moving in thing… But these past few days, it just has got me thinking. Because I love you, so much."

This time when he reached out to grab your hand, you actually leaned into it yourself. Not because you were giving in, but because this hurt. This hurt so fucking much that you needed something to ground you, or else god knows. Because the way he was speaking, it sounded so finite.

"I love you too."

"I do know, which is…is why this is so hard." At the very least, Tom had conceded that.

The conversation ceased to silence yet again. The room felt so cold; even Tom/Harry's hoodie was doing nothing to keep you from the endless empty cold that seemed to be coming from within.

"When I re-registered my health card last month, and I made you my emergency contact on it. I-I made you my next of kin on everything actually. I didn't think about it twice. And-and this-"You pulled your phone out of your back pocket, immediately pulling up the app onto the open page. "This is my Pinterest board for our baby's nursery theme. I know-" You paused, to quickly wipe your cheeks clear of the tear tracks that may or may not have been there. "I know it's probably a long way away, but I just love the Scandinavian theme." You laughed at yourself, suddenly embarrassed at your blabbering and quickly pulled up a different app. "And this… this was from the other week when I was helping Y/bf/n start her vows." Hands trembling as you turned the phone around for Tom to see again. "She was finding it really tricky so she said, what would you say to Tom on your wedding, so-so I made this list." You only dared to look at him when you were sure he'd be reading through that note.

It was bizarre because he looked… well, he looked happy. Here you were feeling traumatised, showing things that you'd barely even deeped how committed they were - and he was pleased? Feeling the fire burn once again inside of your chest, you quickly swiped the phone away and back into your pocket. Only then did he look up, eyes widening - presumably at quite how psychotic you looked.

"So don't you dare say that I don't want a future with you."

You said it with such force, there was a pause. Tom letting those words sink deep into his brain. The way his expression flickered minutely gave you hope. You thought he got it. You thought he really understood now.

"But why don't you want to move in then?"

There it was again. He knew why. But he didn't get it. And, probably, he never would.

You were about to crash completely. So you ran. As fast as your legs could carry you, not even aware of your chair crashing to the floor in your wake. You ran out of that house and away from him. Away from who you had thought was the love of your life.

?give tom a final chance w one last part?

feedback is always v v appreciated <3

tom taglist : @lovehollandy12 @hollandlover19 @thefernandasantana @hunnybunimdun @hallecarey1@cedricdiggorysimpp @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @pandaxnienke @crossyourpeter @thegirlwiththeimpala @tom-softie @sunwardsss @spiitfiiires @radcloudenthusiast @ladykxxx08

people i think might be interestd in this (sorry if not just let me know and i'll remove the tag!!!): @obiwanownsmyass @wildxwidow @parkersvogue @coffeewithoutcaffeine @tomhollandlol @thefallenbibliophilequote @clumsymandu @hiraethenthusiast @mannien @abrielleholland @evermorehabit @niallberry @greatpizzascissorstaco @runawayolives @annathesillyfriend @letsgotothemoonlight @lovelybarnes

[faded-stardust-sys]

What if Toby just forgot who masky and hoodie were? (Probably because of zalgo or something I think he can alter someone's memory)

While I dont think Zalgo specifically would erase Toby's memories there are creatures and cryptids capable of doing so. Zalgo is partners with slender after a long rivalry, but I don't think he'd try to upset it now.

It was supposed to be a quick mission, in and out. They just had to do a routine checkup on an asset of Slender's.

It wasn't supposed to end up like this, but somehow someone managed to surprise the three. They managed to fight it off long enough to escape but not without some damage. Toby had been knocked in the head and ended up being took back to the mansions hospital area. EJ did a checkup on the unconscious boy and he seemed fine, so all they could do is wait for him to stir. Tim and Brian volunteered to watch him Incase he woke up, and they could easily get one of the medically trained creeps to help.

Not but a few hours after the ordeal Toby woke up.

"uhh-" the boy said sitting up. The two beside him quickly raised their heads to see Toby "finally, your awake." Tim joked. He was met with silence. Toby was trying to process what was going on, the last he remembered was running away from him burning childhood home. Were these guys police? They didn't look like it. Kidnappers maybe. "Toby?" Brian was scanning his face with worry. "Wha- how do you know my name?" He asked concerned, were they stalking him?

Toby.. its us. Shit, Brian go get EJ." Brian quickly made his way out the room to find Jack, he'd know what to do. Toby was so confused, was he supposed to know them? Did they know about what he did? Was this just a fucked up dream?

"Toby- I know this is weird and shit, but you've gotta trust us. Ej will be here any minute, he's going to see if he can do something, or at least figure out what's going on." Tim was being surprisingly soft, he was worried about Toby and didn't want to scare him by being an ass.

"I don't think ive got mu h of a choice anywho." Toby retorts. They stayed in silence till Brian came back with EJ.

"What is the problem?" EJ asked coming over to the two. "Tobes doesn't remember...alot." Tim said in a hushed tone. "And you said you guys fought an entity with an unknown power?" EJ asks redirecting his attention to Brian. "Oh-" tim and Brian said in unison, they realized they fucked up. Ej simply walked out the door. Not to much later he came back with slender, causing toby to stare in confusion.

'hey, thats the weird thing thats been standing outside our house-' 'I am not a thing my child' '...did you just talk? In my head?' 'yes' 'ok then-'

A voice echoed in the room. "We shall bring him to a healer later today, the creature that caused this was weak. He shall be fine."

(ps i am so sorry this took like a month or so to get out, writers block and crap, again i am sorry)