#ITS UR TURN TL DIE WHY DO THIS

[saetoru]

oh shit i ran out of tags read this part AFTER TAGS 🔫

but the prose and the descriptions were so good omg i almost felt like she died twice. once while alive and once when she actually died. the way she came to terms and told him to move on 🥹 how she accepted it and he was still holding on desperately 🥹 when he woke up to her cold skin 🥹

she was gone by dawn the next morning KILLED ME.

the way he didn’t even realize until he kissed her. the way he thought he still had her 🥹

emo so fucking emo i wish u misery for this one. misery for being mean and gross for this one. idc if the anons get mad at this one: kys 😒

JOKES ASIDE THIS WAS RLY RLY GOOD CASP. IM SO PROUD OF YOU and this fic is GORGEOUS

— 𝐢 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 ; 𝐣. 𝐤𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐢𝐧.

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: more than anything, he just wants her to be happy.

𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦: attack on titan | 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: jean kirstein/f!reader, former eren jaeger/f!reader, mentioned background eren jaeger/jean kirstein | 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: nsfw ; minors dni | 𝐰/𝐜: 17.94k.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: canonverse, spoilers for chapters 131-139, angst, character death, previously established relationship ( eren jaeger/reader), smut, slow burn?? maybe kinda, jean has ptsd, formerly unrequited love, terminal illness, lovemaking, gentle sex, kissing, hand holding, slight scratching, missionary, mention of animal death.

— 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐦𝐞 !!

𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 in what felt like a long time, Jean didn’t know what to do. 

It had been a few months since their hellish lives had come to a head, and while the remaining members of the secondary Levi Squad and their Captain were happy it was all over, the realization that Y/N knew Eren’s plan months before he went through with it was crushing to them. 

Armin and Mikasa had suspected, of course — they all had, if they were honest, she and Eren had been so serious that they were more than willing to murmur back and forth about wedding plans when everyone else was around, and every time they did it warmed their friend’s hearts ( and made another’s hurt, but he was too content with the fact that Y/N would be happy to even think about fighting for her now ). In hindsight now, though, Jean guessed, it was all a mask for them to keep Eren’s plans all hush-hush. He knew that if he’d found out, even he would have definitely fought to keep Eren on their island where it was safe regardless of how often they’d bickered back and forth, because whether he admitted it or not, Jean did care about Eren and he wanted him to live.

“You’re all leaving?” Her voice is shaky and quiet, a stark difference when compared to how she’d been hoarse for two weeks from the way she’d screamed when Eren’s Founder had collapsed. 

The Captain scoffs, and Jean winces at the sound. He’d always been more than tolerant of Y/N, more so than he’d ever been of the rest of them even, but ever since she’d admitted that she knew what Eren was going to do before he did he’d held her at an arms’ length just like the rest of them had. He doesn’t say anything, of course, because he hadn’t spoken to Y/N even once in the months following her confession, and every time he avoided talking with her Jean could see how much it hurt her — he’d even say with confidence that she’d prefer being struck by him than ignored, but the Captain didn’t even look at her anymore unless he absolutely had to, so that wouldn’t happen any time soon either ( and honestly Jean had a strong feeling in his gut that their Captain was hurting far more than he wanted to admit, not only about her confession but about both Eren and Commander Hange as well; everyone knew that the Captain had a soft spot for them both regardless of how he spoke to them ).

Jean could admit that he understood how betrayed the Captain felt if he was honest. 

“We don’t belong in Marley, Y/N,” Conny mutters, refusing to look at her. He’d avoided her completely since they’d found out, almost as much as the Captain, even; Jean immediately looks down at his shoes when he sees the way her face falls. It hurt him to look at her, hurt to see the way she was desperately searching all of their faces for some hint that it was a cruel joke as a means of some sort of revenge on her for holding her tongue while remembering how she’d blurted out a confession to being aware of Eren’s plan for mass genocide. “There’s no way we’d ever stay. We’re going back to Paradis.”

“But the peace treaty—!“ Y/N argues softly, mentioning the treaty that had come about thanks to Eren’s actions coupled with their own, but no one there really gives half a shit about the treaty but her at that point. they’re all far too impatient to get on the boat and leave Marley for good. 

“Deal with that yourself if it’s so important to you,” Mikasa says through gritted teeth, interrupting the other woman. “We have to get back, Historia’s still on bed rest from giving birth so Armin’s holding down the entire island right now.”

As Jean boarded the boat, he remembered the look on Y/N’s face when she found out Armin had left without saying goodbye to her specifically, and he recognizes that same look on her face as she watches Conny push the Captain’s wheelchair over the onramp to board the boat. “I’ll wait here for all of you,” she whispers, her eyes never straying from the Captain’s back, “even if it takes a whole ten years, I’ll wait—“

“You’ll be waiting a hell of a lot longer than that,” Conny grumbles under his breath, not intending for her to hear it but her hearing it all the same. Jean’s heart plummets in his chest when he sees the look in her eyes shatter and a barely visible veil wash over them.

The same walls she’d lowered with them one by one back in their cadet days had just gone back up. 

She whispers gentle goodbyes to all of them, getting huffs from the majority of the group, a single muttered complaint from Mikasa, and a quiet “Goodbye,” from Jean himself, but the last person she looks at still won’t look at her. Regardless, she bids him farewell in the only way she can now even though she knows he won’t answer. 

“Goodbye, Captain,” she whispers softly, a heavy silence filling the space between them all, and as the boat pulls away from where it was onced docked at the pier Jean sees the tears form in her eyes; they’d all hurt her by leaving this way, he knew that they had, but what were they supposed to do? She could have talked Eren down, she was always able to talk him down, but she didn’t — instead she ran off with him to Marley and helped him trick Falco before starting the Rumbling and a mass march for genocide. 

Regardless of this, though, Jean still has an aching feeling in his chest telling him that he wasn’t making the right choice. 

He looks up at her again, the breeze making her hair move ever so slightly with each soft burst and her skirts dancing around her legs as she stood there watching them leave her, her arms hanging limp at her sides as she stood alone for the first time in her life. She wasn’t making a single sound, just watching them go with tears running down her cheeks before she looks down and lifts one scarred hand to wipe them away with the backs of her knuckles, tearing her eyes from them for the first time all day today. 

Go. 

Jean didn’t know who or what told him to, he just knew he needed to get back to her, and he ignored the strange surge of familiarity that came with the urge. 

Go back onto the pier now. Go, before you’re too far. Before it’s too late. 

At the last second — and with everyone he’d boarded the boat with shouting for him to come back in clear panic, even the Captain ( something he took a silent pleasure in later, because apparently he did care about them all after all despite the facade he always put on ) — he makes a mad dash for and hops the railing on the deck of the ship then jumps again, barely catching himself on the edge of the  pier. Splinters puncture his fingers as he claws at the wood and his feet kick at open air as everything from his shoulders down dangles off the side. He looks up, his hair wild and poking into his eyes, and sees that she’s still not noticed thanks to the bustle on the rebuilt pier. The voices of his friends echo behind him as he finally finds a foothold and pushes himself up and onto the pier, resting on his hands and knees for just a second to catch his breath before looking up so quickly his hair flips out of his eyes and then pushing himself up. 

He’s running to her now, pushing his way through the crowd in his desperation, and Y/N looks up just as he throws his arms around her, cradling her close to himself and whispering, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry — I won’t leave you too, Y/N, I promise…”

He feels her hug him back tightly and start crying into his chest, and he just holds her and repeats himself while petting her hair gently, neither of them looking back to the boat that was still ever so steadily getting further and further away from both of them, and for the time being they don’t care at all. They just hold one another, taking comfort in the familiar warmth they both gave off even as it began to rain and people around them started pulling out umbrellas. Jean carefully pulls her over to a stand and buys one, opening it up while letting her keep her arms around his waist before offering his arm. 

“Let’s go back to the apartments, Y/N,” Jean whispers, referring to the apartment set  gifted to them by the Marleyan government as reparations, and she just nods tiredly before linking her arm through his and resting her head on his bicep. 

I hope this makes you happy, runs unspoken in his mind, but he shakes it away and they walk away from the pier in the rain together, their backs to the ocean in a way they both wished Eren had chosen all those years ago. 

It  had been so long since he’d had the time or privilege to notice, but Y/N was an exceptionally hard worker. 

Maybe that was why Commander Smith was so fond of letting her help him in his office with his paperwork that he’d send into the Capitol in Sina; she wasn’t one to make mistakes, and it showed as she worked hard in her government issued office in Marley as she worked tediously going over the peace treaty offered to Paradis by all of the major nations that had formerly condemned it and it’s residents’ existences. It took hours of the day away from her, forced a worrisome amount of exhaustion to overtake her normally breathtaking features, and in between every little fix to the documents she made, she had what felt like endless visitors from hizuru and other countries popping in to add their own pieces and request slots to sign the treaty at the upcoming celebration of three years’s peace that Marley was hosting. Marleyan officers were, of course, also among the foot traffic that made its way in and out of Y/N’s office, only the majority of them now had a different respect for her in a way Jean hadn’t experienced in his years in Marley undercover.  

“She’s beautiful for a devil,” one had muttered, his friend chastising him immediately for calling her such a name after three years of such easy, unparalleled peace, and then his eyes had widened in shock when he rounded the corner and realized Jean had heard what he’d said and was staring him down in an anger he’d not been on the receiving end of in years. 

“She’s so kind! She’s nowhere near being the devil we were told they’d all be, and you know it,” his friend had hissed, bowing to Jean immediately. “I apologize for what he said, please forgive us both.”

Jean had looked at him half in disgust and half in hesitance; this was the first time a soldier from Marley had bowed to him despite the three years of peace their nations had shared, and he didn’t really know what to do. On the one hand he was grateful that the soldier spoke up for her, but on the other he didn’t know whether or not this was all a front to save face since he’d overheard them. What to do?

He was about to answer when his attention is caught by someone else. “Oh, let them alone, Jean,” Y/N’s voice had called from the doorway to her office, and everyone turned to look at her. She was leaning against the doorframe, and the brightness in her voice and the way she looked hadn’t managed to betray the exhaustion Jean saw clearly in her eyes. Absently he wondered if Armin was half as tired running the military back home in Paradis, but he shook it off in favor of quietly huffing towards the two soldiers then striding past them to join Y/N at the doorway to her office. She smiles at him once he reaches her, and says, “Thank you,” before ushering him inside her office and closing the door behind them both. 

Sighing heavily, she tiredly walked towards the chair that stood behind her desk and then practically collapsed into it, her head in her hands, which was where they were now. “I’m so tired, Jean — I don’t know what to do anymore,” she admits, “Why did they have to choose me as the standing foreign ambassador for Paradis? I’m going to make a mess of everything.”

Jean sends her a soft smile and strides over to her, leaning against her neatly put together desk. “No, you won’t — you’re doing a great job, I promise. You’re just tired is all, because frankly you haven’t been sleeping enough.” It was true; most nights after he forced her to go home and to bed he’d hear her walking around downstairs absentmindedly even at the wildest hours possible, whether he’d woken from some nightmare of the past or he himself had stayed up working. 

“You think so?” she asks softly, looking up at him with slightly widened eyes. He nods, and she sends him a fond smile. “What would I do without you here with me?” she asks sweetly, squeezing his hand, and he practically melts. 

“I — I — I have no idea,” he murmurs, looking down at her and how she held the back of his hand to her cheek with his own burning in an almost violent blush. She chuckles softly, a smile curling the corners of her lips upwards ever so slightly. 

“I think I’d be a wreck,” she whispers, squeezing his hand again one last time before letting go and standing from her seat. She strides back to the door and opens it, popping her head out and politely asking a maid, “Would you mind readying a pot of tea and a cup of coffee for my office?” Jean hears the other woman ( she was much older than Y/N, he knew, and she’d worked in the building for years before the Rumbling had reached Marley’s shores — despite that, though, he’d heard her telling the other maids that she’d never been treated as kindly by anyone else as she was when she worked under someone dubbed ‘a devil’ by the government ) give a swift affirmative and take off as fast as her middle aged knees would allow her. 

“That woman’s a saint,” he mutters, sitting down in one of the comfy leather chairs in front of Y/N’s desk. “I’m only twenty-two and my knees and hips seem to want me dead for what I've put them through — and don’t even get me started on the pain from my back!”

“That’s because of our use of the 3DM gear,” Y/N replies from the door, closing it gently and striding back over; Jean hears the heels she insisted on wearing to work ( no matter how many times he told her they were impractical and she’d agreed ) clicking against the dark hardwood floors as she approached him. She slips in front of him and sits on the lip of the desk with a soft smile on her face. “They’ve always caused physical issues with the bodies of Scouts, retired or otherwise, due to their prolonged use in the field. Captain Miche used to complain of it often.” She smiles wistfully, and Jean remembers that before she was on the Levi Squad with Eren and himself she fought under Captain Miche Zacharias — at least she did until her own squad was wiped out thanks to the Beast Titan, and starting with Captain Zacharias himself. Jean frowns as he also remembers that Y/N had witnessed the entire thing, the Beast Titan letting her go after recognizing her as ( unbeknownst to them at the time ) ‘the girl his little brother was smitten over’. She’d been forced to watch from the back of her horse in horror as he was ripped to pieces by titans right in front of her; she’d told Commander Smith in front of everyone that Zacharias’ last words to her were for her to save herself and warn the others of what they’d seen, and she’d not spoken of him since. 

“So you’re still as smart as Hange said you were,” Jean says through a tired grin of his own instead of what else he was thinking of, and he places a hand on Y/N’s knee as she looks away from him seemingly to hide the look on her face; unbeknownst to him her face is burning from embarrassment, but regardless of whether or not he’d ever notice ( would he feel the heat she could swear was emanating from her cheeks? Y/N had no idea, therefore the safest bet was to look away while she regained her composure ) she looks away and out the window, watching the bird that always seemed to be nearby fly past. 

“Being good at making observations doesn’t make one smart,” she mutters quietly, and Jean just laughs. 

“Well, I think you’re smart, and you can’t change my mind — if you weren’t smart, how would you keep all the old politicians in line as well as you do?” he asks, raising an eyebrow, and she scoffs playfully. 

The sound of a knock on the door rings through the room, the sound of the maid just sent off for tea and coffee having come back with it coming through it, though her voice was muffled. Y/N stands back up and walks to the door, replying teasingly as she does, “Those old men aren’t exactly focusing on my smarts as much as they are my physical attributes.”

Jean stews over this information with a pout on his face and his arms crossed as Y/N takes the heavy tea tray and thanks the maid, who closes the door for her since her hands were full, then carefully walks back with it to her desk. She picks out the dish filled with fresh chamomile leaves and flowers and sprinkles equal amounts in one of the pyramid shaped teabags before carefully placing it in the teacup the maid had brought for him. Noticing that Jean’s been quiet, she decides to mention it. “Something on your mind?” she asks lightly, focusing on pouring the steaming water into Jean’s cup, and he sighs. 

“I just… just thought that thinking all those old political codgers staring at you was just me,” he admits, and she just chuckles in response and begins adding the perfect amount of honey and milk to his tea with a small shake of her head. 

“They don’t actually look to me as a figure of authority, Jean,” she says quietly, “And they never will. They just know that if they hand me more paperwork that they don’t want to do, I'll do it — and before you say it, yes I’m going to continue to do it.” She’d interrupted him before he even managed to get his protests for her to tell them all to do their own, and he just silently takes his cup and stews over this information as well while she begins to sip at her coffee.

It wasn’t fair. She was amazing, her work ethic unparalleled, and as a reward they objectified her like she was nothing but a slab of meat and they treated her like horse shit. It made him want to burn everything to the ground in her name, just so the bastards would realize that she deserved better. 

Is this how you felt, Eren? he thinks, sipping the honey chamomile tea in his hand. Is this how it feels to want to burn everything to the ground for the one you love when you know their life will be a hard one?

Jean finds the celebratory banquet following the peace negotiation beyond extravagant. 

Several large tables stood in front of the walls of the dining hall in the capital, an almost endless line of chairs ( but really only a few hundred — seven, maybe? ) and candles filled golden sconces along the walks and a series of thirty candelabras or so per table, and the food was more than anything Jean had ever experienced before. The men and women around him were dressed their absolute best in silks and velvets and fabrics he’d never even seen before — but that was only after everyone had joined him downstairs. The night had initially started off seriously with around three hundred and seventy or so politicians, ambassadors, and rulers of various nations gathering in a large meeting room and taking a seat at one of four tables along each wall so that they could face everyone in the room. Jean had not been one of these people unfortunately, considering he had no political power and no longer was a member of the Paradisian military, and because of this he’d been forced to follow a few members of staff downstairs to wait in the dining hall with the delegations that had come with each person who did go inside. 

As the long hours passed by with no sound coming through the doors of the room upstairs, waiters went around the room, offering wine to the waiting companies, and Jean’s hand shook without him intending it to as he took a glass from one man and accepted a rather generous pour of the red liquid into it. He hesitated to drink it, memories of past allies turned beasts because of poisoned wine flickering in his mind like one of those novel motion pictures that had started becoming popular in the last few months ( Jean himself wasn’t much of a fan of them, but his heart twinged every time he saw a flyer for them and he thought about how much Conny or Sasha would have loved them ). He still remembered staring down at a monstrous Pixis, damned to a hunger that even Jean knew after what had happened in The Battle of Heaven and Hell ( as people who weren’t there had dubbed it; Jean supposed it fit, seeing as Eren’s name had morphed from what it was to whispers of ‘The True Devil of Paradis’ once they’d been saved and the rebuilding had started ), a hunger that couldn’t ever be sated. 

Eventually loud crashes had sounded as the doors above them closed, and footsteps echoed overhead as everyone in the meeting hall began making their way downstairs and to the dining hall. Y/N was one of the last to enter the room, taking her place by the leaders of Marley, Hizuru, and a handful of other primary nations as they announced with bright, fake smiles that the peace plan was a success and that starting from that moment all gathered nations had allied themselves with one another. Cheers had filled the room, and Jean had seen Y/N’s sigh with relief before taking a glass of wine for herself ( also with a hesitation, he’d noticed ) before he made the decision to make his way through the celebrating throngs to stand by her side. 

“So I’m guessing everything went well?” he asks after finally sidling up to her, motioning to imply his intentions to tip some of his wine into her glass to refill it once he saw she was getting low ( despite holding it for only a few minutes as Jean struggled to get to her through the crowd ) then just shrugging and swapping glasses with her. She chuckles and nods her thanks to him, taking a sip. 

Swallowing the wine in her mouth, Y/N licks her lips slightly. “Yes, thank Ymir,” she replies, leaning against him slightly. She sounded absolutely exhausted, but she continued so she could bring him up to speed. “Signatures from every person present in the room were laid on the document I wrote; no one had any issues with the wording or anything.”

Jean’s eyes widen, and he lets out a shocked bark of a laugh, “That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you.”

She smiles at him softly but doesn’t say anything, sipping at her ( his ) wine quietly after tearing her eyes from his and looking out over the raucous crowd. He stands closer to her, careful to not let himself get bumped by the people rushing past, which is how they spend the next two or so hours ( in between visiting dignitaries rushing up to speak to Y/N and congratulate her on a wonderfully written treaty ). 

By Ymir, I hope you’re happy, he thinks, sipping at a glass of champagne and watching Y/N flit sociably around the room. He could tell by the way that she smiled at each person that came up to her and vice versa that she was uncomfortable, and that the look in her eyes wasn’t excitement like everyone else clearly thought but anxiety. Y/N hated large crowds of people, but somehow she always managed to work her way through them better than any extrovert he’d ever met; it had always been something Jean admired about her, if he was honest. 

Another hour passes of Jean in a corner and Y/N speaking with various men and women before it’s announced that they’ll be moving again. Jean looks for Y/N in the crowd and notices once he spots her that, despite being dressed just as prettily as the other women ( more so, in Jean’s opinion, but this was a celebration of a peace treaty being signed so he couldn’t very well insult the citizens of visiting nations ), she’s obediently following the people who’d signed the treaty without hesitation. She doesn’t look back for him, not even once, and it makes something ugly-feeling twist in his belly as he sullenly follows her as well as the rest of the crowd. 

He’s led into a massive ballroom, and above them all hung an enormous chandelier made of crystal and gold that lit up the room; Jean remembered Y/N complaining that it would take months to be handmade because she was given a specific deadline before the time that the chandelier would be done, but the artists who had made it had forgone all other projects in order to focus on it when Y/N had offered them extra payment if they could please get it there even a half hour before the following dining began. They’d gotten it finished a week early, and Y/N had gone out of her way to praise their work and time efficiency, and they’d smiled as Y/N gave them payment even more than what they’d been promised ( they’d argued at first, but Y/N insisted that they keep it and after a lot of pleading from both sides they had ).

As all of this runs through his mind, he’s startled by a hand being placed on his arm. It’s touch is instantly familiar and as soon as he locks eyes with Y/N he relaxes, calmed by her presence alone. 

“Dance with me?” she offers quietly, holding her other hand out to him. He takes it up immediately and leads them both to the dance floor amongst the other pairs that had settled together. Resting one hand on her waist and holding one of her hands in his other, they gently sway and swirl around the room to the crooning music that quickly becomes an afterthought. 

“You didn’t wait for me,” Jean mutters, still a bit hurt that she’d not even bothered to make sure he’d been able to keep up. Y/N just smiles almost coyly and shrugs. 

“I knew that you’d follow me,” she replies with ease, allowing Jean to spin her to the beat of the song the musicians were playing. 

Jean’s eyebrows furrow at her words. “You knew I would?”

Y/N nods, a pleased look on her face as they move around the dance floor as one. “Mhmm; you never left me alone longer than an hour unless we were sleeping when we were cadets you know, and nothing changed once we were full fledged soldiers.” Jean’s cheeks heat up in a blush, slight embarrassment filling him once it hits him that she’d noticed all these years. 

“Sorry,” he mutters, looking down at their feet and only making his cheeks burn hotter when he accidentally looks down the front of her dress instead of at his shoes like he’d honestly intended. 

“Don’t apologize, I thought it was cute!” Y/N says soothingly, and he looks up at her just as their dance finishes. They bow to one another, and Y/N sends him a gentle smile. “I have to go — more people to speak with,” she explains, backing away. She pauses before she disappears into the crowd, though, and looks back at him with a gentle look on her face. “Wait for me?” she asks through a genuine smile, and he nods. 

“Always,” he whispers as she hurries away, taking her place beside the leader of Marley and joining their conversation as easily as a duck swam in water. 

After a few more hours ( and well into the night ) she finally makes her way back to him again and, leaning so close it made his heart race, whispers in his ear, “Let’s get out of here — there’re too many people in here for either of us to really be comfortable.”

Placing his and her empty glasses on a nearby table, he allows her to take his hand in hers and lead him out of the room, rushing down the stairs and out the doors behind her, helping her over puddles in the streets so she didn’t ruin her dress, wandering around outside and finding citizens of Marley, Eldian and otherwise, celebrating loudly. 

It appeared the news of the peace treaty had reached them as well. 

They made their way through the celebrating throngs and finally they stopped in front of an old coffee shop that ran all day and all night. Choksing it to take shelter in for the time being, they  go in quickly and order two coffees with a breathless smile before rushing off to sit at the windows. Fireworks crackle, pop, and light up the sky through the window and they both watch in rapt attention — Y/N the fireworks through the window, and Jean the colors of the bursting fireworks in her eyes. A warmth fills his heart as it usually did when he gazed at her, and the only thing that shook him from his stare was a waitress placing their coffees down. 

After a while the celebration continues on and Y/N and Jean just decide to bite the bullet, paying for their coffee and rushing out the door and home, each of them talking avidly about how much they liked the coffeeshop. It was fashioned on the inside after the ones in Trost, after all, and run by an older Paradisian woman that Y/N mentioned was married to Pixis before he’d died; her name was Dolores, and she laughed as she remembered how gleefully Pixis had laughed about it with her when Y/N had made the joke that he’d ‘connected the Dots’. They both start laughing, and still are by the time they’ve reached the house they’d bought after leaving the apartments. They dance around gleefully for a bit, drunk on life itself, before they both finally call it a night. 

“Goodnight!” Y/N calls softly, kissing his cheek gently before disappearing into her room while humming, and Jean sighs and staggers into his room, drunk on the feelings that had bubbled up all night and the way she’d kissed his cheek. He closes his own door before wobbling over to his bed and collapsing on it with a light laugh. 

“Goodnight…” he whispers, closing his eyes and falling into a much deserved sleep. 

That night, despite the fun he’d had, Jean’s head is filled with the worst kinds of nightmares. 

It wasn’t as if it was anything new, of course; nightmares are a nightly occurrence for Jean, and he’d learned to live with them over the past few years. 

 He dreams of Sasha often. 

His mind frequently reminds him as he sleeps of the face she’d made after she was shot, and the way she’d looked at him once she realized what had happened. How a mixture of shock and fear and also… of apology had flashed through her eyes all at once, and all within a few seconds. He’s plagued with the sounds she’d made as blood bubbled up in her throat, of the way she’d attempted to gurgle out some string of words that none of them had ever managed to translate. 

He still wonders what she was trying to say. Who was she speaking to? What was she thinking? He knew she was scared, he’d seen the raw terror in her eyes, saw when she realized that she was going to die. 

Other times he dreams of the brief time he was a titan, of being a mindless beast with no self control— just hunger. Those dreams give him a more out of body experience, and he watches himself attack everyone he loved that was still with them. He has more fictionalized nightmares of being unable to stop himself from devouring Y/N, or the Captain, or Mikasa, or Conny ( despite the fact that Conny was turned with him ). The thoughts that come afterwards once he wakes up always include the phrase ‘what if?’. What if he’d actually attacked Mikasa? What if he’d eaten the Captain, bitten and chewed and swallowed him up? What if he’d trampled Y/N as she begged for Eren to let everything go?

He also dreams of the Rumbling. Of the sounds of thousands of giant feet stomping across the ground. Of the screams of enemy soldiers and the sounds made by the colossal titans’ feet as they stepped on and crushed them, ending the screaming. Jean dreams of the devastation that the Rumbling had caused, of all the lives that had been stolen — innocent men, women, and children, of all ages. Infants. Sometimes Jean would hear a baby’s cry echoing to him from somewhere out in the burning devastation, a cry that — no matter how fast he ran to it, trying to find the source — would always be snuffed out. 

He hated that one. He always ended up waking up sobbing inconsolably, and primarily because he knew it had happened. Children had died — little kids. small, pure, humanity’s future. Their lives had been snuffed out like a freshly lit candle, and it killed him inside. 

Then there are the nights he dreams of Eren. 

Those are some of the most difficult. he’d grown up with him, had known he had anger issues, but he’d never actually expected the other man to take things as far as he did, had never expected him to murder so many people, and a part of him — ugly and poisonous — wonders if maybe he’d not been such an obnoxious ass to him, would things have turned out different? If he was just a better friend — or a friend to him at all, really — would any of the results of that changed his mind about the genocide? Would he have listened when they begged him to stop? 

Whether Jean ever wanted to admit it out loud or not, he knew he’d loved Eren. The other man was a part of his life for so long, regardless of however much the two of them bickered back and forth. He was his family. He loved him dearly, loved him as much as he did Conny, as he did Sasha, as he did Y/N ( although in vastly different ways, and if he had the tiniest crush on him back in their cadet days that was his fucking business and he’d take it to his grave ) and Mikasa and Armin, the Captain and both Commanders Hange and Erwin, Historia and ( begrudgingly ) Reiner and Annie, and Marco—

God. Marco. 

After all these years, he couldn’t even remember what Marco looked like anymore. He had freckles, didn’t he? Jean wasn’t sure. All he could remember of him now was the mixture of scattered, burned bones and ash. He couldn’t remember any of his features anymore, or how tall he was, or what his voice sounded like, and it killed him. Yes, he’d forgiven Reiner for what had happened, but that didn’t change how much the memory of him hurt, or how the knowledge of how he’d been murdered felt like a knife to the gut whenever he thought about it. 

Back to the initial point, though. Eren. Jean had mourned alongside Y/N when Eren died, albeit silently, unlike the rest of his comrades. They’d pushed Eren’s existence to the backs of their minds, the series of events that they’d just gone through just being way too much for them to handle… so they didn’t think about him. Didn’t speak for him. They just declared him dead to Paradis and the rest of the world, and that was the end of it to everyone else, but Jean remembered how Y/N had cried when she’d finished listening to the announcement. She’d been an absolute wreck, speaking to everyone and no one all at once asking why they’d had to say that, apologizing to her dead boyfriend for not being able to stop them, and no amount of comfort had been able to console her, not even from Armin or Mikasa or the Captain. 

That was the night she’d confessed that she’d known, and they’d all withdrawn from her at once. The night she’d been reminded yet again of her dead lover, she’d lost everyone she loved most in one fell swoop. It was horrible… but time passed, everyone but Jean left, and over the three years that had passed since the two of them grew closer because of it. Jean learned things about her that he’d not known before, things that she’d only reserved for Eren’s ears, and he felt proud. 

Of course, there were a few things she refused to speak about, and her dead boyfriend was one of them. Y/N told him that he wasn’t the issue when it came to Eren, she swore it, and Jean understood and didn’t blame her. He knew that even thinking his name hurt her, much less openly talking about him. After all, the scream Y/N had let out as the Founder had fallen rang through his ears every time he closed his eyes and was transported back to their final battle. He remembered the way she’d looked, soaked in blood ( hers and that of others ) and half dead, wailing like a dying dog. 

Jean didn’t think she’d actually said his name out loud since he died, even after all these years — four whole years, she’d not said his name, not even once, after devoting nearly her whole entire life to loving him more than her own life. 

Memories and thoughts of Eren aside, by far the worst nights are when his brain won’t let him even have a second’s rest and he dreams of all of them. Sasha. The Rumbling. Eren. Y/N. 

All of these nights end with him screaming in his sleep and Y/N coming into his room and carefully waking him. She never asks him what he had dreamt about that made him act that way, and he never tells her. He doesn’t have to. He knows she has the same dreams. No, she just holds him, and she rocks him. She hums soft lullabies she’d been sung as a child in Shiganshina. She tells him of the trouble she and Mikasa and Armin and Eren had gotten into as children, as cadets, and everything after.

Most nights it was easy for her to wake him, but others weren’t, and he’d struck her before. Once he was fully awake and she’d calmed him down fully she excused herself and he went back to a fitful sleep, none the wiser because she’d acted like usual. She’d cleaned herself up and tended to the area so it only bruised minimally, but Jean still felt guilty for it the next morning regardless and cried and cried until she miraculously managed to calm him down again. 

Tonight was one of the harder nights, and Jean had nearly punched her while panicking ( she didn’t tell him this, just ushered him out of his stuffy room ). Afterwards, once she’d managed to get him breathing fine again, she’d poured them both a hefty glass of wine and they’d huddled together in the kitchen quietly. Jean had pulled out a chair and sat himself down by the table and she had leaned against the kitchen counter just over the sink in front of a window. Both had a death grip on their overfilled wine glasses, and after a long silence filled only with the sounds of their breathing, Jean speaks. 

“Tell me a secret,” he says simply, taking another drink of his wine. Y/N quirks an eyebrow up at him. 

“A secret?”

“Yeah. Something you’ve never told anyone else,” he replies, swallowing a big gulp of wine and shivering slightly. “Anything to take my mind off… that.” He spoke, of course, of the memory of Eren’s decapitated head in Mikasa’s arms and the screams Y/N had let out at the sight of it, and of the way she’d pulled it from Mikasa’s hands and cradled it close then fallen to her knees in absolute hysterics as the other woman stood over her crying. Armin had come running and had collapsed next to her, throwing his arms around her and holding her tight while sobbing himself, and Mikasa’s legs had given out beneath her and she’d succumbed to her own pain, weakly crawling over to her remaining two friends and allowing Armin to hold her as close as he was Y/N. Y/N wouldn’t let her touch her, and Jean remembered how, when this actually went down, it ushered a sudden surge of fresh tears and hiccuped sobs because Y/N was pushing her away. This time, though, Y/N had woken him before it had gotten there, so he’d not had to watch Mikasa crumble all over again. 

He refused to tell her what that night’s dream was about. 

Y/N looks out the window, seemingly thinking until a sad smile twists her lips and she takes another sip of her own wine, tears slowly welling up in her eyes and glittering like pain-filled diamonds. “Eren and I got married before he decided to destroy Marley,” she admits, not seeing how big Jean’s eyes got at her confession. How ironic was it that he was learning something about her relationship with Eren when he’d just had a nightmare involving the both of them?

“Married?! When?!” he sputters, drops of wine sliding down his chin until he uncaringly wipes them away with his shirtsleeve; he knew that it would stain, but that was the last thing on his mind at the moment. 

“Before he decided to destroy Marley,” she says, repeating herself, and Jean mentally kicks himself for such a stupid question. His attention is brought back when she continues speaking. “It was a really small thing — no one we really knew was there. An Eldian licensed to marry other Eldians was in the refugee camps, and Eren and I met with him that night we all drank together and had fun… we got married that night while the rest of you were drunk and came back before Hange and the Captain came back and found us all asleep. The man who married us was killed in the Rumbling, along with our two witnesses, so I can’t really do anything about it anyways; I suppose his name isn’t mine to claim now.”

In the back of his mind Jean notes that Y/N’s just said Eren’s name not once but twice for the first time in four years, and that she’s still avoiding saying Captain Levi’s. He’d never really noticed it before, but just as she’d never said Eren’s name she’d not said Captain Levi’s in a long time either. Levi avoiding her after she admitted to knowing Eren’s plans must have hurt her more than she’d admitted. Maybe she’d tell him about that another time.

He never gets to ask more questions, instead being prompted by Y/N to give her a secret in return.“I — I— I-“ he stutters, then shakes his head, “I only have one, and I don’t think that it’s appropriate.”

“Tell me,” she murmurs, still not looking at him. 

“Y/N—“

“C'mon, Jean, I promise it’s okay,” she murmurs, her eyes locked on something outside the window — was it a bird? 

Something in her tone of voice made him relax, and he sighed heavily before tossing back the rest of his wine and groaning. “Hmm. Okay — um…” he rubs the back of his neck, beyond nervous. After her confession about marrying Eren, was this really okay? 

He jumps when the feeling of something covering his hand reaches him, and he looks down to see that it’s Y/N’s. He looks up at her with wide eyes, but she’s still not looking at him — she’s just staring out the window with tiny tears in her eyes from talking about her dead boyfriend ( husband, Jean corrects himself, still somewhat reeling from this; was he really the only person that knew? ) and holding his hand. He takes another deep breath, then just decides to spit it out. 

“I’ve been in love with you since I met you in the 104th,” he says quickly, squeezing his eyes shut. Hetenses up when she pulls her hand back from where she was holding his and he tries not to cry, just knowing in his gut that he’s an idiot and he’s ruined everything. His mind begins to race as he desperately tries to think up ways to save face, to fix what he’d just colossally fucked up, but he can’t think of anything.

While Jean’s going through this mental turmoil, Y/N has never looked away from the window. She’s watching the bird fly back and forth, tipping its body this way and that before finally going towards the window. It flies by slowly, tilts its body up and down once ( almost in a waving motion ), then turns and flies off and away from her. Y/N lets out a shaky breath, her heart racing, and she places her wine glass on the counter in favor of using the hand to cover her heart. The tears start falling now, and she can’t stop them; she couldn’t even if she wanted to. 

“Goodbye… Eren,” she breathes through her tears, and the second his name leaves her lips the figure of the bird disappears into the sun. 

They stand together in silence for a while after that, Jean numb to the world around himself as he panics, but her laying her hand on his face brings him out of his mental ramblings, and his eyes shoot open and lock on her. She’s standing in front of him, a soft look on her face that Jean had only ever seen her wear around Eren himself. 

“I know,” she whispers, looking not quite into his eyes with the sad smile she’d worn speaking about her dead husband still on her face — only this time it’s different. 

“You… know?” he whispers, his eyes wide as he swallows hard. 

Y/N nods. “Mhmm, always have,” she admits quietly, rubbing along his cheekbone with her thumb. They stand together in silence for a long moment, the only change being Jean leaning into her touch and one of his hands coming up to gently cup the one Y/N had on his face. He closes his eyes and just basks in the moment, not knowing if he’ll ever get her touch this way again, and is promptly startled when she says his name after a long while of  the two of them standing there. “Jean…” she breathes lightly, and his eyes open to see hers shining with something he didn’t recognize. 

“Yeah?” he asks in a whisper just as quiet as how she’d breathed his name. 

“Kiss me,” Y/N replies, and his eyes widen. She, the woman he’d been in love with for over a decade, wanted him to kiss her? And after everything they’d just talked about?

“Are — Are you sure?!” he asks in a strangled voice, and she smiles softly and nods, placing both hands against his cheeks so she can cup his face. She tilts her head to the side ever so slightly and a fond looks overtakes the sadness in her eyes as she smiles up at him. 

“I’m completely sure,” she murmurs, running one thumb along one of his cheekbones like she’d done before, and with that final piece of permission. Jean slowly, gently, leans down and captures her lips with his own. 

Her lips are soft and she tastes sweet, a sweetness that came partially from the wine they’d both been drinking but that also just came from her, a taste singular to herself, and he relished it. All his life since he’d joined the military back on their home island he’d been desperate for even a scrap of the romantic attention she showed Eren, for some sliver of love that was different from the love she showed their other friends, and now he had her completely. She was, for all intents and purposes in this moment, his and his alone. 

He pulls back from her lips with a gasp, his chest heaving from the lack of oxygen, and she takes the initiative and begins peppering kisses across his revealed chest and neck. “Take us to bed,” she whispers pleadingly, and he only has to look down into her eyes for a second to make the decision they both desired. 

They stumble into his room in a mess of wandering hands and desperate kisses, Jean’s shirt long forgotten on the kitchen floor and Y/N’s shorts kicked off somewhere in the hallway. After struggling for a few minutes with the buttons of her shirt, Jean just lets out an annoyed growl and rips it down the middle, buttons popping off of the cloth and scattering everywhere as Y/N unties the string to his pajama bottoms and giggles when the buttons go flying. Once they’re both in nothing but a pair of panties and boxers they back up until the side of the bed catches at Y/N’s thighs and she falls back, taking Jean with her. He’s got her pinned to the bed, holding himself up with his elbows and with her body between them. Her legs are spread and his own rest between them, and he just stares at her for a moment before her face lights up with a radiant smile. 

“Hi,” he whispers, and she giggles breathlessly. 

“Hi!” she replies, a genuine smile on her face, and Jean grins and begins kissing her again. They gaze at one another for a minute before Jean asks her again, sounding concerned, if she was sure that she wanted to do this, and she just smiles softly and nods. “I am,” she whispers softly. “Please, Jean… I promise, I want this. I want you.”

To hide the sudden rush of euphoric tears that fill his eyes at the words he’d waited to hear her say for what felt like his entire life he drops to his knees so his head is between her thighs. She sits up on her elbows on the bed and looks down at him in curiosity as he slowly traces the hem of her panties with one long finger before slowly letting her head fall back as he covered her clothed warmth with his own mouth and licked gently at her through the fabric of her panties. His tongue caresses the fabric, his saliva seeping into the cloth and mixing with what wetness she’d left on them already as her body instinctively prepared itself for him. Her thighs tremble on either side of his head as he carefully sucks at her clit through the fabric, and she lets out a cry that has him stopping instantly and looking up at her in alarm amd in fear that he’d somehow hurt her. 

“O-Off,” she whispers shakily, pushing at the top hem of her panties. “Want ‘em off — please!”

Jean obliges easily, wanting this moment to be as perfect for her as possible, before pressing back against her slick cunt. His tongue gently parts her lower lips and draws a line up the length of her heat until he reaches her clit, and he begins drawing various shapes and writing out several different words to see what she liked best ( Jean found that she most enjoyed stars, circles, and, oddly enough, the word ‘cantaloupe’ ). Like a seasoned musician he plays her like a finely polished instrument, and her body sings underneath his touch. “Oh—by Ymir, please!” Y/N wails, her hands grabbing desperately at his hair. She tugs at it gently, pulling his face deeper into her core as his tongue toys with her dripping entrance and rolling her hips up into his face to get some sort of friction against her needy clit. She lets out a short, sudden scream and clamps her legs around his head as she cums hard in his mouth, Jean making a clear effort to take in whatever she gave him. He gives her a moment to rest, watching her breasts heave and almost hearing the way her heart races, before delving back into her, his tongue swirling expertly around her clit and dipping teasingly into her hole. Before long, though, her want for his cock supersedes the feeling of his mouth on her pussy and she wants him covering her again. 

“Fuck — up here, Jean, come back to me!” she pleads softly, and he’s back on top of her in a second. His face glistens with her juices, and she tangles her fingers in his hair before pulling his face towards hers so they can kiss again. It’s slow and sweet and gentle, and Y/N melts happily into the mattress as his lips meld against hers. 

When they break away for a moment, both of them breathless, Hean speaks to her. “What do you mean?” he asks quietly, rubbing his nose against hers affectionately, “I never left you.” She whimpers softly in a wordless request, and Jean obliges by carefully easing her panties off as her arms drift down from his hair to rest around his back then creep under the waistline of his boxers, her nails slightly scratching at the skin of his ass as she pushes them down. His hard cock slaps softly against her belly, soft and warm and the weight of it more than pleasing; the soft pink head was leaking an almost endless stream of precum that quickly made its way to pooling just above her navel. 

“I-In — fuck, please, put it in!” Y/N begs, and he kisses her again in response before taking himself into his own hand then pressing the tip of his cock against her entrance and pushing in, gritting his teeth as her slick heat envelopes his length. Both of their eyes roll back as they slot together almost perfectly, Y/N’s nails digging into his back slightly and Jean’s hands fisting in the sheets as they rest together there, basking in the feeling. After a moment, though, one of them breaks the pleasant silence that was once punctuated only by their shaky breaking. 

“Move. Please,” Y/N asks quietly, and Jean withdraws for a second, hissing as the cool air hits his wet dick, before pressing back inside slowly. He watches Y/N’s eyes widen and her pupils grow even larger than they were before as she’s filled, and a shaky smile makes its way onto her face. He smiles back at her, his smile morphing into a blissful half grin as their shared pleasure builds and he creeps closer and closer to orgasm himself — then he notices it. 

She’s crying. Crying and smiling and even laughing a little. 

“What is it? Are you okay?” Jean asks, alarmed yet again. She shakes her head and lifts her hand so she can press it against his cheek like she’d done in the kitchen. His movements slow to a stop and he starts to get off of her when he sees her shake her head, his eyes widening in a panic, but she throws her other arm around him and holds him as close to her as she possibly can.

“N-No! Don’t stop!” she cries, then sniffs a little and lets out a single, short laugh. “It’s just… This. It’s so good, it feels so perfect.”

“So… So you’re okay?” Jean asks, unconvinced, and she nods. 

“I’m more than okay,” she says quietly, and she smiles up at him. “I love you, Jean.” It takes a second, but then the words hit him, and his world stops all at once in the best way. 

She loves him. She loves him. Him, Jean Kirstein. Love. This… he’d been waiting for it since he was thirteen, and now she’d just told him the words he’d wanted to hear for so long. This was beyond better than her telling him that she wanted him, this would be a moment he never forgot — because how could he? The woman he’d been in love with for over a decade had confessed that she loves him — and just as he’d known when he was fifteen and she’d saved him from a titan during a recon mission and again when he was nineteen and leaping from a boat to rejoin her on the docks, Jean knew that nothing could ever change the way this woman made him feel. 

The two of them start up again, Jean’s hips rolling against hers and his balls slapping against her ass in a perfect rhythm that had them both letting out cries of pleasure. Endlessly the same thoughts ran through Jean’s head as he pleasured the love of his life, never changing: He loved her, and she loved him. They loved each other. 

And later that night, once everything was done and while she sleeps, he watches the way her chest rises and falls while she sleeps comfortably next to him, and he absentmindedly rubs his thumb over her upper arm and whispers, I hope you’re happy. 

A soft hum and Y/N pressing closer to his warmth is the only response he gets, and once the darkness that came with sleep overtakes him he doesn’t have a single nightmare. 

After that night, Jean moves all of his things into Y/N’s room; he’d forced her into taking the master bedroom when they’d gotten the house, and since they were together now she’d insisted he sleep with her from then on. He was more than willing to move his things, and now he got to spend every night in a peaceful rest and every morning he got to wake up to the sight of her either still sleeping or dressing quietly so she could go downstairs to make breakfast. His favorite ways to start the day were when he woke up first and got to see her sleeping for a little bit or when he woke up to the feeling of her lips peppering soft kisses across his face. The years pass this way, and he loves every minute of it

During all of this time together, the same thought that he’d had as they drifted off races through his mind as they spend time together more often than even before. They frequent the coffeeshop they’d stumbled upon after the signing, and discover that it’s a great place to pass the time and enjoy each other’s company while dozens of people mill around happily outside. They spend hours of their lives there, just talking and watching and embracing the feeling of having one another, and it’s absolutely perfect. 

They board trains to visit Annie and Reiner where they live alone together out in the middle of nowhere in a farmhouse ( the two were desperate for quiet after everything ended, and with Annie’s father having died around ten months ago she and Reiner had packed up and moved out ). Days are spent with the two blondes, reminiscing over the good times they’d had in the past or memories they’d made since then. Jean didn’t forget about what they had done to Marco, but after all this time of knowing, he’d made some headway into forgiving, so after Y/N visited them about a dozen or so times on her own he’d joined her, and he’d been more grateful to see familiar faces than he’d expected. Now they went by train to see them around once a month and had the greatest time. 

He’s annoyed when they’re invited to a hero’s banquet hosted by Marley and funded by Hizuru because it’s to be held on a night he’d promised to take her out on a date, but she just laughs and tells him that it could still count, and that maybe even the others would be there considering they were a part of the group of ‘heroes’ that had saved the world from the Devil of Paradis. They meet Reiner and Annie at the doors and the four of them stay close to one another, Y/N dancing the night away with all three of them and drinking her fill of the wine supplied by their hosts. Watching her dance so happily while completely unaware or uncaring of the world around her other than Annie laughing as they spin together makes him smile sadly, and he doesn’t have the heart to tell her that their Paradisian friends aren’t there, and he carefully carts her home once she’s tipsy enough to persuade into bed to sleep. 

During all of these little excursions, he hopes desperately in his mind that she’s happy, and thinks likewise when she’s scrawling out letter after letter to Armin and the others telling them about her week, what she’d seen or heard on the streets, new recipes she’d tried, how her work was going, and then she’d move on into asking about their own lives, wanting to know what they were getting up to or if they’d gotten married in the years that had passed. 

She never got any letters in return, but she didn’t stop writing — at least, until the mail carrier told her that all of her letters were being burned by the recipients, sometimes right on the spot as they received them.  He could tell how much it crushed her, but discovering that even their former Captain himself was letting her unopened letters hover over an active candle flame until they were nothing but ash falling from his fingers had her in tears. Jean knew why, of course; she’d told him all about her late night rendezvous with the Captain to drink tea and speak of their days, pasts, or whatever else piqued their interest of conversation that day, how they’d started around seven or eight months before the attack on Trost District after she’d quietly gone to comfort him after a member of his original team had died regardless of his snarls for her to leave and how she’d known that he cared for her in return when her own squad leader, Zacharias, had been killed and he’d purposefully sought her out and looked for her until he found her quietly crying on the roof where she’d hidden away from even Eren, who’d been searching the compound for her himself. He’d just… sat there, she’d told him, in a silence that wasn’t so awkward as it was equally mournful before he hesitantly pressed their shoulders together and let her lay her head on his right one to cry. 

“We were close,” she told him through small tears in bed that night, “I swear that we were… but some things can’t be forgiven, I suppose.” Jean didn’t have the relationship she did with the Captain and before she’d told him he’d been completely oblivious to it, but regardless his heart hurt at the blatant heartache in her voice. He’d held her after she said that, and she’d cried into the crook of his neck until she fell asleep. 

She didn’t send any more letters after that, and she didn’t write for what felt like forever after Jean would come home every day to her writing. She would sit quietly at her desk and look down at a piece of paper before eventually getting up and abandoning it, unable to find anything that brought her enough joy to write about it. 

One day he comes home, expecting to find her sitting silently at her writing desk, unmoving, only to find a trail of mud from the front door to the guest bathroom, and he goes inside to see he washing dirt from this absolutely massive ( and clearly old ) street dog who’s just panting happily as she cooes to him that he’s handsome while sitting in the tub with him and washing him off, and when he laughs and she sees he’s there she just grins at him and tells him that she’s ‘named him Gerolf, so they definitely have to keep him now’, and with life in her eyes and smile finally on her face again Jean couldn’t bear to tell her no, so he didn’t. 

The days from then on out pass with ease as he watches her dance and sing happily around the living room with the dog, the huge thing’s paws on her shoulders as she laughs and sways with him before kissing his nose. He would have joined her, but the sight of her enjoying life so fully was something he couldn’t bear to tear his eyes from, much less interrupt. 

A few months or so after they took in Gerolf, Y/N began to write their former comrades again, but now she chose instead to put the letters away in the closet in the room with her writing desk in it, clearing it all out just for the purpose of storing the letters there. She never really answered Jean when he asked why she didn’t send them, instead skirting around the questions and changing the subject. Jean never pushed, because not only was it not his place since she didn’t want to tell him but because he also knew she’d tell him in her own time should she ever desire to do so. 

Their lives for the next three years or so ran smoothly aside from a small handful of minor bumps ( dips in work, some new furniture being lost during shipping, Jean breaking Y/N’s favorite cup, the small cake they’d ordered falling when they got married in private ), and they were happy. They’d made their home in Marley and in each other and they fell asleep in one another’s arm’s with Gerolf, as old as the hulking monstrosity was, in the bed at their feet. 

Throughout the years, Y/N opened up more about her relationships with her first husband and the Captain, and Jean made sure to listen attentively as she did so. He listened closely when she described nights she’d shared with Eren, curled together in front of fireplaces and under covers, of kisses stolen in passing and quick ruts in abandoned corridors, and of confessions of love given daily that always felt like the first. She spoke of her time shared staring up at the night sky with the Captain on the roof of the Scout Corps. headquarters, of the times he let himself rear his head back and genuinely laugh with her on horseback as they raced through the open plains within the walls, of the endless stories shared between them over tea drank at midnight and the warmth between them when they leaned together on cold nights spent outside while on the run from the Military Police.

It didn’t take much for Jean to finally realize just how much the Captain shutting her out hurt her even before she’d told him this, and now after having peered at least a little into the deep extent of their private relationship his heart stung for her. She’d just lost Eren, and then she’d lost her closest friend as well as the rest of her family only a few weeks later. 

“Armin and Mikasa were more Eren’s friends than mine,” she’d admitted while cooking once. It had been sudden and had surprised him into turning around from his place chopping vegetables at another counter, but she’d just sighed and continued. “I love them dearly, really I do, but our relationship just wasn’t the same. It felt wrong to complain of my troubles to them when they had their own, so I just tried making money every way I could to support the four of us while we were more or less on the streets after the fall of Wall Maria. It wasn’t until I was drafted a year before the rest of you that I met the Captain, and you’ve heard the majority of how our relationship started.” Of course he had, she’d told him that what felt like forever ago; how she’d found Captain Levi after a member of his squad had died around seven months before Trost had fallen and she’d comforted him even though he’d yelled and screamed until his throat was raw, and then held him after he fell to his knees crying because the soldier had been a long-time comrade and he couldn’t take any more death and hold it in. She’d told him how Captain Levi had tried to weakly push her away before just melting into her hold and sobbing into her shoulder because it was just all too much, and she’d told him how they’d spent the night together on their knees on the floor mourning — and then, come morning, how she’d said nothing about what had happened even though the Captain had wept himself into exhaustion in her arms and had slept there for hours. Her knees had ached for a week, she’d remembered, but it had been worth it. All of this was said with a fond but wistful smile on her face, a look she usually had when thinking about Captain Levi. She laughed a little when speaking about the looks he’d sent her way when he’d thought she’d tell others about his sudden show of emotion, then her eyes had softened when she said that that, once he realized she wouldn’t utter a word of it, was when she’d earned his trust. 

Her eyes always grew sad when speaking of the Captain’s trust in her, and Jean always felt bad for her when he noticed she was missing the man. She’d been his right hand for what felt to Jean like their entire time in the Scouts, always seeming to know something about him that no one else did that got her an in on his life — and he supposed that she did. 

It also made sense now, why Armin and Mikasa were unable to console her after Eren’s death, Jean realized in silence, but he still didn’t understand why the Captain’s soft words and even gentler touches hadn’t worked either. She later voiced that the guilt from the knowledge of what she’d done to contribute to Eren’s assault kept her from accepting his comfort, because she felt she didn’t deserve it. She still hadn’t said his name. It had been around seven years at that point. 

Jean didn’t push it. 

After that, she didn’t speak of the Captain again for a long, long time and avoided Jean’s questions about him, but she was more than willing to answer those he had about Eren. It made Jean feel accomplished, knowing he was helping her heal from the loss of her first husband, and honestly learning more about Eren made him heal too — but it also made him realize that, despite all of the teasing and time spent with him, the majority of what he thought he knew about his character were nothing more than childish ideations of a crush he believed unrequited; when Y/N had told him over coffee ( she hadn’t drank tea since her fallout with the Captain, she’d mentioned once that the reminder hurt her heart too much and he’d never offered her tea again ) in the living room while sitting in her favorite chair that Eren had actually returned his little ‘crush’ for around two and a half years, starting sometime in the middle of when they’d been knee deep in their military training. Jean had turned bright red and tried to argue that he didn’t have a crush, but she’d just giggled into her drink and gotten comfier in her chair to the sounds of him sputtering out protests. 

The nights spent with warm drinks in front of the fire with Gerolf at their feet and the radio softly crooning behind them were his favorite, if he was honest. He’d never felt more loved or at home than he did with a cup of coffee ( he’d sworn off tea for his wife’s sake ) in one hand and one of Y/N’s clasped in the other, his toes buried under the warmth of Gerolf’s furry stomach and the sound of one of Y/N’s wild stories from her days under Captain Miche’s command reaching his ears. Every night spent this way ended with a smile on his face and warmth in his heart, and he knew that he never could have possibly been happier than he was in these moments and with the life he’d chosen the day he’d leapt from that damned boat. 

Of course, everything changed for them when Y/N got sick. 

They didn’t know what it was, and she’d brushed his worries off at first when he’d mentioned how he didn’t like the persistent cough she’d had for two or so weeks. He tried to relax, to accept that it was just a stubborn cough, but after two months of worrying when he’d come home from getting groceries one day to Gerolf barking in panic and her unconscious in a lump on the floor he’d had enough and taken her to a doctor. That’s when they found out she was sick — and it was also when they found out that Marleyan doctor’s didn’t know what the hell she had. Jean had, despite Y/N’s insistence that she was okay, taken her to every doctor feasible and had called upon doctors he couldn’t take her to, hosting them in their home as they checked Y/N over. 

They all came to the same conclusion in the end though: they had no idea what sickness she had, just that she was terribly ill and that the outlook was grim. After the thirty-ninth doctor came to them, then reached the same realization and shared his findings, Jean had stopped calling doctors to the house. Y/N tried comforting him, tried telling him that she was grateful for how much he’d tried, but nothing she said worked and he grew depressed as things got more and more difficult for her. 

The winter and summer months were always especially rough, when the cold practically seeped into her bones or the heat made her sweat the flesh wrapped around them off. The cold air made it difficult for her to breathe and made her lungs ache, and the heat did the same but even worse. They couldn’t go on long walks with Gerolf together anymore, and their visits to the coffee shop they both loved so much grew fewer and farther apart. She didn’t take the train to visit Annie and Reiner any more, and they’d written their worries to them when the second meeting was missed, but Y/N had eased them with mentions of being tight on money; it wasn’t exactly a lie, as Jean had used up the money she’d put away for travel expenses for her doctor’s appointments and other medical expenses of hers, and she couldn’t travel anyway so what use did they have for a travel fund at the moment? However, where it wasn’t exactly a lie, it wasn’t true either. They weren’t low on money in the slightest, not with all of their funding from their years in the military back on Paradis that they’d saved and the money that the Marleyan government had given them along with properties as reparations and then more money they’d earned through their jobs here, but neither Y/N nor Jean told them that and allowed them to take comfort in the belief that money was the sole reason Y/N didn’t come to see them anymore. 

Two years pass this way, with Y/N ill and the doctors with no clue as to what was wrong with her. Jean didn’t want to tell anyone about Y/N’s illness, no one but doctors, because he wouldn’t have to, not since she would get better — why worry them when Jean could handle it? He would take care of her on his own just as he had for the past nine years, it was his job. And if the handful of years that followed were spent with her still sick, what of it? Things had to get worse before they got better, Jean of all people knew that. 

Eventually he does admit that Y/N’s not feeling her best to Reiner and Annie, but he doesn’t tell them the full extent of her medical issues — but after the three and a half year mark, however, he was forced to tell them everything. They’d come to visit Jean and Y/N instead of the other way around and when Jean had run out to grab food Y/N had fainted into Reiner’s arms when trying to make coffee for everyone. When he’d caught her and seen her eyes rolled back in her head with only the bottom of her irises showing and Gerolf barking worriedly they’d panicked, and Reiner and Annie’s panic had only gotten worse when she wouldn’t wake up. Jean had returned home right as they were about to rush to the hospital, and he’d stopped them and taken Y/N from Reiner’s arms despite the protests of both blondes, carefully lowering her to the floor and cradling her close to himself, quietly murmuring requests for her to come back to him before quietly admitting that her illness was much worse than the little chest cold he’d written them about. 

They move back to the city after that, intent on helping where they can. Annie cooks for the four of them, and Reiner does some extra shifts at a bar in town. Jean works just as hard, trying so desperately to make extra money for just… more time — even if Y/N didn’t expect much more. 

In the year that had passed where she was her illest she’d written three more letters: the first telling them that things had taken a turn for the worst, the second when they’d hit that bright spot that made them think she was getting better, and finally the third when she’d realized that no, things weren’t getting better, and that it was most definitely her final run, which she’d separated into several split letters for each of their former friends. Those she’d put in the top drawer of  her bedside table, still unable to make the walk to her desk. 

It had taken her an entire week to finish them, and when Jean had asked what was in the last letters and she’d told him that it was full of her goodbyes to everyone they loved on Paradis he’d nodded understandingly then excused himself to shower, where he’d sat beneath the hot spray and just cried for what felt like only a few minutes but what was really hours, because it had finally hit him: no miracle was going to happen for them. After nearly twenty years of living in close quarters together every day,  Y/N was going to die. He was actually going to lose her. This wasn’t like when she took those few week and a half long trips alone ( at her own insistence )  to visit with Reiner and Annie in the country where they’d moved to escape everything before they’d moved back, this time she wouldn’t be coming back to him. He would really be alone. For good. 

When he’d finally gotten out, she’d not said anything to him. She could see how puffy and pink his eyes were after crying for so long, and she’d heard one mournful cry before he was able to cover his mouth properly, but she never mentioned it. 

Jean had appreciated it, even if he’d never said so. 

Life carried on regardless of the way Jean felt about Y/N’s illness. On the Days he didn’t have extra work, Jean did whatever he could around the house to keep his mind off of the impending hell he would be forced to face. He’d eye Gerolf, and the way the mutt kept constant contact with her, or spend hours cooking special meals he knew Y/N would enjoy. Other times he would stand at one of their bookshelves in the living room for hours, perusing his options but never making a decision on what to read. 

“I want you to know that it’s okay for you to move on,” Y/N says one day from her place on the couch while he stood at the bookshelf; she’d been crocheting a blanket despite the shakiness in her hands. “Once I’m gone, you know. It won’t hurt me for you to love again and remarry.” Jean, once pacing while deep in thought over his next move, freezes once the words register in his mind, and his heart burns. Despite being the one in agony daily, according to the endless doctors, still Y/N thought of him first; how was it that she managed to love so selflessly? Jean knew by this point that he was being greedy and selfish, doing all of this when the outcome had already been made clear; Y/N had taken the diagnoses with ease, almost welcoming death in a way Jean hadn’t understood. He’d been angry about it at first, before she’d explained that she’d already lived a life better than she thought she deserved, followed by admittance that she wasn’t surprised that she was dying young and rather had been expecting the universe to cut her life short; “It’s only what I deserve,” she’d said, “for the horrific atrocities I assisted Eren in creating.”

“It doesn’t matter if you’re okay with it or not,” he whispers, his chin shaking and tears filling his eyes as he looks down at his shoes. He hears her make a questioning noise from the couch, and a clink as her crochet needles clack against one another, and he continues, knowing she wasn’t offended. “They don’t compare — I couldn’t — it wouldn’t be…” The words won’t come out alongside his shaky breathing; he watches through blurry vision as the wooden floorboards between his black shoes darken with teardrops he couldn’t keep from falling. It takes him a long moment to get his breathing back in check, but he eventually manages it. 

“They wouldn’t be you,” he finally grits out, new tears joining the old on the wood flooring. His fisted hands shake, and his heart twists when he hears her sigh; it isn’t mocking, or ill-intended, but the way she’s resigned herself to her death hurts him. 

“I said the same about Eren,” she whispers after a long, near-silent pause that had been filled only by Gerolf’s snores and the crackling fire. A sound of pain leaves Jean’s throat without him meaning to, and he turns to her with tears streaming down his face. She’s placed her unfinished blanket to the side and is just… looking at him, and it breaks him. Her eyes are soft and kind, and he can see that she’s unafraid — nothing like him. 

“But I — I can’t,” he whispers, the words coming out in a breathy sob in time with fresh tears. He staggers over to her weakly before falling to his knees before her, clutching her skirts tightly in his hands and burying his face in her lap before collapsing into his grief. She wasn't even dead, and yet there he was, crumpled on the floor at her feet and sobbing into her dress like a mere child. He was a soldier, he’d fought in and helped end a war, he’d battled immeasurable monsters and demons, but he still mourned, and before she was gone — and through it all she runs her fingers through his greying hair and whispers softly that everything would be fine. 

One evening, months after he’d dissolved into tears and after a day spent with her unable to leave the bed for how weak she is and how painful it is for her to walk,  when she’s at what feels like her healthiest yet and Jean feels safe sleeping in bed with her rather than in a cot by their bed, she begins speaking to him. 

He’s not actually asleep. He's taking the time to bask in what life she had in her still, to spend as much time with her as he could even if it meant exhausting himself. The feeling of her heart beating against him and the sound of her breathing in his ears keeps him from losing himself in the fear of what was to come. 

He felt himself a coward. 

One of her hands gently combs through his hair, spotting a few greys here and there as she does so; he can’t see it, but they make her smile weakly. He'd survived long enough for grey hairs to settle in, albeit at thirty-one. she swallows hard, sudden tears popping up in her eyes and threatening to fall. “I hope you’re happy,” she whispers softly, holding his hand with the one not petting him as she lays almost uselessly in bed.

She jolts slightly in surprise, the sudden movement making her very bones ache, when he starts crying as soon as the words register in his mind, Jean lifting his head as the salty fluid treks down his cheeks and leaves slick lines in its wake. “I could have never been happier than I have been with you,” Jean whispers back, smiling lovingly down at her through the tears in his eyes that made his vision beyond blurry. She smiles, squeezes his hand, and weakly tugs him on top of her where she lay on the bed to carefully balance himself on his elbows above her. 

“Make love to me,” she whispers to him, small tears in her own eyes as she clutches at one of his shirt sleeves desperately. He’s not seen her cry since before she’d been given the initial diagnosis, so it stuns him for a moment. The unspoken ‘one last time’ echoes through both of their minds, but both refuse to say it and ignore it in favor of slowly getting undressed one Jean regains his wits — because moving too fast would hurt her, despite today being one of her best days in years, and neither of them wanted that. 

Jean rests his forehead against hers, fresh tears welling up in his eyes as he smiles softly. “You’re the most beautiful creature I’ve ever been blessed enough to see,” he breathes, and he hears her breath hitch in response. 

“I love you,” is her only reply, and that’s when he presses inside. Jean’s hips slowly rolled into hers, ever so careful to not jostle her and keep it feeling good for them both. It had been so long since they were together like this; her body was just too weak to handle it, but now they were trying — Jean could hardly believe it. 

 “O-Oh my God,” Y/N whimpers, swallowing the spit that had accumulated in her mouth as pulses of pleasure filled her body, “Oh — oh, oh, J-Jean-!”

“Shhh, I’ve got you,” Jean whispers, reaching a hand up to gently cup her chin before leaning down to kiss her softly. Her arms come up and wrap around his neck as he slowly fucks into her, her tiny gasps and his low grunts filling the room. Gone were the days of the headboard banging against the wall so hard that paintings and photographs fell off of it, but present still was the love shared between them. 

Before long both reach orgasm, moaning out declarations of love and utterances of one another’s names as they do. The rest of the night is spent silently shared between the two of them, naked and intertwined in a warm, perfect mess. 

Happily. 

She was gone by dawn the next morning.

Jean hadn’t woken when she’d passed, he’d only woken to her body in his arms. He’d not known at first, not until he’d kissed her forehead and discovered how cool her skin was; she’d been so beautiful at the time, soft and sweet and peaceful looking — but then he’d realized, and he’d screamed. The neighbors had woken to the sound of his raw, agonized yelling, and they’d broken the door down getting in before realizing what had happened once they saw how he clutched her to his chest, her arm limp against the bed as he did. 

There had been no consoling him, this they knew. They just alerted medics and the police and quietly went to mourn as well, already missing the woman that often offered parts of the meals she made to them, even going so far as to cook them both entire portions while the woman had been pregnant and her husband overworked leaving both exhausted. 

Many good memories were had of the Kirsteins; the two would miss Mr. Kirstein’s wife. 

It had taken nearly an hour for the medics to convince Jean to let them take Y/N’s body, and both before and after he was an absolute wreck. She’d been fine only a few hours ago, she’d been so warm and happy and alive — and suddenly he wakes up and she’s gone? Just like that? It’s not fair. 

For the first time in seventeen years — ten at her side as a friend, and seven as a husband — he’s without her. He’s lost. 

In an almost cruel act of irony, the owner of the coffee shop they went to every morning put it up for sale the day after her funeral. Apparently the only funds they’d been getting recently were from the Kirsteins themselves as well as about four other regulars, so slowly but surely the funding had just… run out. Before long the place was dark and quiet, and looking at it hurt him. All it helped him remember was Y/N, when all he wanted to do was forget. 

He locks himself up in their home for months, his only company being an also-mournful Gerolf, who whined whenever he was near something she favored. Most nights are spent sleeping in his chair in the living room as well; how could he possibly sleep in the place where she had died? And he couldn’t just sleep on the couch either, her blanket was laying there — she’d not finished crocheting it, so he couldn’t touch it. Instead, he just slept in his chair with his hand in Gerolf’s fur, lazily scratching at it where he knew it would please the also depressed dog. 

Just before the sixth month passes, Jean quietly creeps back into the bedroom he shared with Y/N, and promptly bursts into tears. He sits on the floor with his back to his side of the bed and his face to the doorway and sobs into his hands. He must be loud, because Gerolf is roused from the deep sleep he’d been in and the old dog brings himself into the bedroom before pressing his way between Jean’s legs then slumping against him, massive and warm and so comforting that Jean can’t help but throw his arms around him and sob into his fur, whimpering about how he misses her and wants her back. Gerolf remained silent, of course, unable to speak in anything but barks and grumbles, but his presence alone is enough to comfort Jean. 

They slept in Jean and Y/N’s bed for the first time since her death that night. 

After that, Jean begins to acclimate to life without her. Clinging to their dog like a lifeline, he rebuilds his own mental strength and gets back to everyday life. He begins cooking again, and he stops being so timid around Y/N’s usual areas of the house. He carefully folds the unfinished crocheted blanket and puts it on Y/N’s pillow, and he never allows anyone or anything to sit in her chair, but other than that? He begins to live in the house again. 

And then comes his newest problem. 

Jean doesn’t know whether or not he wants to visit Paradis or send letters to the others who’ve been burning the ones Y/N had been sending all these years, informing them of her death and burial, because regardless of whether or not he’s happy with the fact that they’d ignored her for years ( he’s not ), they still grew up with her, fought beside her, lived, ate, and slept alongside her. They should know, he thought to himself, and, leaning back in the chair at Y/N’s writing desk that had now become one of his favorite seats since her passing ( since she’d loved it so much before ), Jean eyes the closet that Y/N had kept locked since she’d become too frail to even walk to the aforementioned writing desk. Swallowing hard, he blinks away sudden, unexpected tears. More letters were in there, he knew that there were, because she’d started storing them there when she found out the others were burning hers upon receiving them. 

He began thinking back on all the times he’d seen her sealing letters, and begins doing the math, only getting angrier as he does. Once he adds up all the letters in his head that they’d burnt that Y/N had sent ( one hundred and sixty-eight of them ) that led to her just writing them and filing them away in her closet,  it was a lot easier for Jean to decide not to visit Paradis to tell them, or to even write a letter. 

Then three months pass, and Jean’s thirty-two. 

He’d never expected to make it this far when he started his life in the Scouts, but he’d made it out. Then, when he’d married Y/N, he’d thought they’d die old and happy together — but then she was gone, just like Marco and their other friends, leaving just him and Gerolf. 

And now Gerolf was gone. 

Jean and Y/N had both been expecting it, even before she was gone, especially since the old street mutt was at least fourteen when they’d found him. Regardless, the loss of his last living domestic link to his wife sends him into a spiral, and he locks himself away again. Reiner and Annie, who had tried endlessly to get him to let them in so they could comfort him, are shut out again with no means of getting him to talk to them. Why would he make the effort? The world had taken everything he loved most from him. He had no reason to make an effort anymore. 

Then, after another two months, Jean goes out and buys the coffee shop. 

They reappear in Jean’s life and ask for her a year later. 

He’d turned to greet whoever had come into the coffee shop, and once his gaze locked on their easily recognizable figures he couldn’t believe his eyes. Almost immediately as the disbelief came anger, and he forced himself to turn away with the greeting dying on his tongue. He snatches a dirty glass, almost breaking it against the side of the wide sink, and begins to wash it. He’d heard through the grapevine that they’d come to the mainland, but he’d steadfastly refused to seek them out, still angry on Y/N’s behalf. 

He can hear them all chattering brightly behind him, two of them ( which sounded like Mikasa and Armin ) asking where Y/N was so happily that it made Jean’s heart twist in an ugly way inside his chest and he barely could resist the urge to throw the glass he was rinsing at their heads wherever they stood behind him. 

No ‘hello’? No ‘sorry for ditching you and then burning your only sources of communication because we were mad and refused to let go of a grudge, do you think you can forgive us’? Alright. Fine. Two could play at that game. 

“She’s been dead a year,” Jean answers without turning around instead, a swift twinge of cruel satisfaction striking through him as a sudden quiet falls over the familiar voices behind him. He doesn’t bother looking after that either, choosing instead to continue cleaning the glass in his hand as a shaky ‘W-What?’ reaches his ears, coming from behind him in an aged rendition of Conny’s voice ( a voice that, despite his own internalized fury, he finds that he’s missed ). He doesn’t answer right away, just like last time, and finishes cleaning that glass then puts it away before reaching for another and speaking again. “She died. Two years ago almost to the day, now — four more weeks and it will have been,” he laughs bitterly. “What a morbid turn of events that would have been, had you come then, wouldn’t it?”

“H-How — Why?!” It’s Mikasa’s voice, shaky and startled and hurting, and Jean takes a wicked satisfaction in it. It was good; they deserved to hurt like he’d hurt since she’d died, deserved to feel pain after abandoning their friend for years. It was nothing short of karma. 

“Sick,” is all he replies with, and he can almost hear their heart’s plummet. Everyone present knew that Y/N’s mother died of a hereditary sickness a few years before Maria fell to the titans — hell, Armin and Mikasa themselves helped Eren comfort her as she cried over her at her mother’s funeral. Jean even knew for a fact that she’d gone into more detail about her mother’s death with the Captain, who hadn’t said a word but who Jean knew was shaking ( which he could see in the reflection of the metal shaker he was washing now ). The sickness Y/N had died from was something that commonly ran in families from the Underground where the Captain had come from, and considering Y/N only saw the sun for the first time a week after she turned six and her mother dropped dead from the illness two years later, Jean wasn’t surprised that it had startled him — and he didn’t feel sorry for him, either. 

Like with Mikasa, he considered the Captain’s current  feelings deserved. 

He throws the rag down and gingerly places Y/N’s favorite glass on a shelf of it’s own, swallowing hard and taking a deep breath before letting it out all at once. “I’m done here,” he mutters. “Follow me — or don’t. I don’t really care.”

He leaves after that, the group following single file and waiting patiently as he locks up the building early, and the sounds of their footsteps against the sidewalk have him fighting of the urge to whirl around and yell at them to just fuck off. This was all Y/N had ever wanted, to see them again, and now they were here — almost two years too late, but here nonetheless. 

The group stop outside of the house Y/N and Jean had ended up living in, having desperately needing to escape the damned reparation apartments that only held bad memories, and they wait in silence as Jean unlocks the door and goes inside. He leaves the door behind himself open, and after a moment’s hesitation Levi is the first to enter, the others following like faithful but hesitant hounds in his wake. 

It’s dark inside the house, and Jean’s thrown his overcoat onto one of the stylish but comfortable-looking black couches in the living room and is sitting in an armchair. It looks like he’s not paying them any mind, but Levi can feel the younger man’s eyes on him as he moves to sit down in a chair that looked unused, as he didn’t want to appropriate anything Jean preferred, especially in the man’s own home; he owed him that much. 

“No!” Jean snaps suddenly, making everyone jump and Levi freeze in place. Jean sighs, but doesn’t tear his eyes from his former Captain and the chair he was touching. “Not that chair. That — That was Y/N’s favorite chair.”

His explanation was enough for Levi at ‘that was Y/N’s’ to make him jolt away from it as if it were on fire; he carefully makes his way over to the couch and grunts as he sits down next to Armin, who takes his cane from him helpfully and leans it against a side table. Y/N’s chair is given a wide berth by everyone else who takes a seat or stands in the living room. 

The room is silent for a long time, no one saying a word. The tension filling the spaces between them was almost thick enough to bite without being able to break through. 

“She never stopped writing them,” Jean says suddenly, his words spoken in a low tone and volume as the people in the room listen silently, “She kept going up until the last year; couldn’t — she couldn’t make the walk to her desk…” he stumbles over his own words when he remembers the last day she’d tried, the day she’d fallen to the ground and hadn’t gotten back up. She’d never walked again after that, and she’d hated it. 

“I… Jean I’m so sorry. It must have been so difficult losing a friend you’d known for so long and dealing with all of this by yourself,” Armin says softly, his voice shaking. He was hurting too — all these years he’d wasted being angry, and for what? A woman loyal to her lover? A close friend loyal to another close friend? He was a fool. 

The previous silence overtakes the room once again, but this time it’s different, an unexplainable anger filling Jean’s body at the mention of the word ‘friend’ then disappearing just as suddenly only to be replaced with something that couldn’t be explained as anything short of exhaustion for life.“Wife,” he corrects quietly, making them all freeze and go silent again, “I married her seven years ago.”

No one seems to know what to say. 

Getting up, he disappears into the bedroom and quietly walks over to said desk, gingerly taking the key hanging from the crooked nail he’d messed up accidentally that she’d begged to keep just because she wanted to remember his wild cursing before going to unlock the closet holding the letters. Picking up the case she’d asked him to put them in a month before she’d passed, he lugs them into the living room before dropping them on the table with a loud thud. 

“Take the box and get out,” he mutters venomously, leaving no room for argument as he retreats to his and Y/N’s bedroom and locks the door; his own letters had been placed on Y/N’s writing desk, left untouched all these months — but maybe it was time for him to read them. 

As he unties the brown twine holding them together, he hears everyone in the living room leave, the door shutting ominously behind them as they do, and Jean’s surprised at first that it doesn’t hurt as much as he’d expected it to — then again, he’s pretty much dead already without Y/N, so what did it matter?

Shaking as he holds the first letter Y/N had written to him tightly enough to strain the paper but not crinkle it, he begins to read, but he only makes it to the third before he finally breaks. 

“‘Think of me fondly’,” he reads aloud, laughing breathlessly in a way that slowly and painfully turns into heavy sobbing. “How couldn’t I?” he asks pleadingly to the letter, almost as if he thought it would be able to answer him. It, of course, didn’t, and he cast it across the desk and away from himself in favor of leaning on his elbows against the top of the desk and burying his face in his hands to cry longer, his tears falling and landing on the smooth wood of the desk top, slowly but surely forming small puddles that seeped into the pores of the wood and disappeared, just like she had all those weeks ago. 

Y/N was gone. 

Gerolf was gone. 

His comrades? They’d not been a part of his life in years. 

Jean was alone. Just like he’d feared for years. He’d told Y/N that years ago, even before she got sick, and she’d still left. 

He pushes himself up and staggers away from the desk, one of her letters clutched in his fest while the other wipes furiously at his face as he wails like a child. “It’s not fair,” he whispers, his entire body wracked with sobs. “IT’S NOT FAIR!” 

He shakily collapses to the floor and falls against the bed again, just as he had a year ago — only this time, Gerolf wasn’t there to comfort him. This time, he was alone with his pain and fear, and it showed in his tears and words. All night long, he screams and cries and mourns his losses — Marco, Sasha, Eren, Y/N, and he mourns his comrades, the people who had abandoned him just as surely as they’d abandoned his wife. 

After the sun rises and shines through a window, he blearily looks outside. A sparrow sits on the windowsill, a large bird he faintly remembers seeing years ago ( but that he’s unsure of where he saw it ) at the sparrow’s side, both looking through the window at him inquisitively. He stares at them, unsure of what to say and afraid to move should he scare them off, when the larger bird takes off, circling around the house judging by the fact that it keeps flying by the window. For three loops of the larger bird’s flight, the sparrow stays on the windowsill, just staring at him, before finally pecking at it and taking off to join the larger bird. They disappear into the light of the rising sun, and suddenly Jean doesn’t feel the urge to cry anymore. Instead, he gets to his feet and pulls out a suitcase before beginning to pack his things, ready for a trip out to see Annie and Reiner. 

It was time to start over — even if that didn’t mean falling in love with someone else again. 

𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 © { 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 } 𝐛𝐲 𝟒𝐈𝐙𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐒. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭.

[tv-eater]

.

[kurishiri]

Jude chapter 3 silly but kinda detailed summary

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ any pretty translation you may see in here may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. this is a sort of summary as well. if you enjoy, though, please consider reblogging, but please don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

kate successfully completes sortin out letters so she heads to the port where jude is talking with the foreman. its there she sort of thinks back on her time at raven co and the long and short of it is that jude, as the ceo, is actually really outstanding, and he acknowledges the efforts of those who work hard, produce results and whatnot, and rewards them in turn.

(that said he could work on his wording ,,)

time skip to night after judes done and they all walkin back tgt where kates like “i think i’ll be able to have a good dinner today” and jude scoffs at her callin her a twit. and shes all defensive like hey whats wrong with wanting to eat good food and judes like when did i say that was wrong?

all of a sudden they stop in their tracks and jude tells kate “on the count o’ three, crouch” and kates all panicked like tf is going on but jude already starts counting down so she crouches anw (in a panic!)

some guy in a suits out to kill jude. god knows who too bc apparently jude don’t know him either 💀

Jude: Who are ya? Can’t say ya look familiar.

[ insert some lines im lazy to tl ]

Jude kicked up at the man’s chin, causing the man’s body to do one smooth flip before collapsing onto the ground.

Man in a suit: Jude… Jazza——!

Jude: N’ like I was sayin’, who the hell are ya?

ok turns out jude does remember him in the end, its just another dude who broke his contract with jude and was selling up some illegal drugs and whatnot.

Jude: I told ya, didn’t I? That if ya breach your contract I’d show ya so much o’ hell you’d wish you kicked the bucket?

J: I fulfilled that promise for ya. Havin’ a grand old time in hell, aren’t’cha?

omg he pried open the wound on the mans face and he let out a cry to the night sky that could shake anyone’s soul silly.

kate then thinks or foreshadows (yk how like ikevil stories r kinda told like kate is recalling the past? like “i didn’t realize it then, but xyz” kinda like one of those moments) that what she witnessed that night was but a prologue of what’s to come bc they get attacked over and over again.

kate and jude get into another argument like “i feel im gonna die every time! im at my limit!” and judes like “well ur in the way loiterin round like that” then jude just yeets off w/o listenin to another word.

she does feel something bothering her tho

(For someone like Jude, he should be able to avoid these grudges…)

When I thought this, I came up with a theory that relieved me of this unsettling feeling.

(…Could it be he’s making himself an enemy of many on purpose?)

‘Yeah, right,’ was what I thought, but also, somewhere in my heart, I felt such a theory may also be true.

shes like there’s not enough info rn but if i do know anything its that

Kate: At this rate, if I stay with Jude any longer…a hundred lives would not be enough!

and so shes like i gotta learn self defense! so she goes knocking on a certain someone’s door like pls teach me le jutsu of self defense!

Ellis: Okay. （╹◡╹）♡

turns out ellis was also thinking of teaching her some stuff abt self defense soon.

so ellis takes kate to the lobby and kates like why the lobby and ellis goes to a bookshelf to take out a book which actually reveals vics weapon collection and takes out a gun, telling kate to try and hold it.

idk if this is a real gun or not (as in it exists irl), apparently its made of silver with a wooden grip.

ellis thinks its well suited for kate. like its lightweight yk. hes like you may need to use it jic. and then hes like

Ellis: But, it’s kind of refreshing.

E: Other than me, Jude seems pretty adverse to putting people by his side.

E: So, maybe he wants to get along with you?

kates like mmm doubt but at the same time she has this question in her mind w/o an answer of why he went and wrote a whole contract and let her stay by his side then? shes abt to cook up a theory in her head when…

just then jude comes in.

Ellis: Ah——Jude.

Jude: We got a job to do.

so they head off to some noble mansion.

Jude: How do ya do, we’ll be here a while.

Nobleman: Ah, Mister Jude?

apparently this nobleman is connected with the guy in the suit jude beat up in the beginning of the chptr. he made him spit out info.

Jude: If ya just were sellin’ somethin’ shady I’d let that off the hook. Illegal drug’s some child’s play.

J: However.

Jude raised one leg and rested it atop the long table.

Jude: I seem to recall the contract prohibitin’ the sellin’ and buyin’ of humans, or am I wrong?

ko-fi☕️ ┊ comms🤍

[sage-nebula]

Hmmm... "tfw ur evil mom doesnt like ur bf"

Despite the glib file name I gave it, this one is actually pretty serious.

This one takes place in my Paradigm Shift AU, which is an AU in which not only was Keith raised in space, and not only did he join Team Lotor, but he and the rest of Team Lotor (or Team Revolutionary as I call this version of them) became the Paladins of Voltron and are fighting a revolution against the Empire. More specifically, this WIP was an AU of my AU, and more specifically still it's a, "what if Haggar controlled Narti in Paradigm Shift the same way she did in canon? What if the Narti Incident still happened?" After I considered the question I couldn't get it out of my head, so I had to write it down—or at least start to write it down, before I got distracted by other things.

TL;DR: Haggar uses Narti to spy (against Narti's will), and Lotor (in a moment of trauma-induced panic) tries to kill her as in canon, only to be stopped by Keith . . . and things get worse from there. Narti does end up escaping (nothing but unrefrigerated women in my AU), but Team Revolutionary is pretty badly fractured as a result of what Haggar makes her do after Keith intervenes, how Lotor reacts to what she does, how Ezor reacts to how Lotor reacts to what she does, and all the emotional fallout that comes with it.

I actually had quite a bit written, so I'll give multiple snippets:

So one Sincline ship was necessary, absolutely, but Lotor had ordered the construction of four more with the remainder of the comet they had secured from an alternate reality. At first, Acxa hadn’t understood why. They had their Lions, and while she couldn’t speak for Zethrid, Ezor, or Narti, Acxa herself was pretty attached to Red. She didn’t want to trade for a Sincline ship. But Lotor had, when she had questioned him, pointed out the fact that they would not be able to pilot Voltron forever. Eventually, they would die or move on to other things. And when they did, and Voltron passed into other hands, it may be necessary to have a check on its power, just in case.

“At present, the Sincline ships are the only ships in the known universe with a hope of meeting Voltron in a fair fight,” he had said. “They will only be five ships, one per Lion, when completed, but that is still five more ships than the universe had before.”

“But we have them,” Ezor had said, “so aren’t we just making a check on ourselves?”

“We have them now,” Lotor had said, a little smile playing at his lips, “but we need not have them forever. Nothing is eternal, Ezor.”

With that decided, construction had progressed on the remaining four. Acxa had to say, they were impressive. While she still felt a strong attachment to Red that she wasn’t willing to break, the Sincline ships gleamed in the light of their hangar, and their cockpits had a soft scent that was comforting and welcoming at once (“New ship smell,” Keith had called it, and Acxa wasn’t so sure about that, but she also couldn’t think of anything to counter it). The third ship was about halfway complete; between the mechanics they had recruited and the droids they had built for this purpose, construction was coming along at a brisk pace, and so Lotor’s smile as the six of them watched its progress from the doorway of the hangar was (in Acxa’s opinion) completely warranted.

“At this rate, we should be able to begin testing on the third ship within the next few months,” Lotor said, his voice raised a little to be heard over the sound of the ore being soldered. “Acxa, have you checked the calibration and pilot test results from the second ship?”

“Yes,” Acxa said. “Calibration of the second ship is complete, and it passed all other tests with no errors. It’s in perfect form.”

“Excellent.”

Lotor cast one last satisfied look at the half-completed third ship before he turned and left the hangar, the rest of them turning to follow suit. Well, most of the rest of them; Keith alone lingered for just a moment more, smiling a little as he looked back at the ship, but when he turned and caught Acxa watching him, his smile fell.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Acxa said, and though she resisted the urge to roll her eyes, she couldn’t keep a little smile off her own lips as she followed after Lotor, Ezor, Narti, and Zethrid down the corridor. “Attached already, are you?”

“I like ships,” Keith said, a little defensively as he fell into step beside her. “That’s all.”

“I know,” Acxa said. But though it was childish of her, and though there was no reason to rile him over being excited at the construction of the Sincline ships, she still couldn’t stop herself from adding, “Nerd,” under her breath.

She glanced at him in time to see him roll his eyes, but he was smiling a little again as he stepped to the side to knock his shoulder against hers in a playful bump, and that made her own smile grow.

[. . .]

It had been six weeks since an agent of the Blade named Ulaz had infiltrated the castleship looking for someone named Shiro—six weeks since Keith saw a symbol on Ulaz’s weapon that he thought looked vaguely familiar, and six weeks since Ulaz had looked at Keith with an expression caught somewhere between joy and heartache, like he knew him, somehow, but couldn’t acknowledge that even to himself. Ulaz had given them the coordinates to one of the Blade of Marmora’s bases, and had urged them to go there as soon as possible. Keith wanted to; it was obvious that was what he wanted without him having to say it. But he had said it after Ulaz had left them, his jaw set and his eyes burning holes into the floor as he spoke privately to Acxa and Lotor.

“I think I . . . there was something kind of . . . familiar about him. Like I knew him, maybe. And he—there was something he said, before he died, that made it seem like maybe he knew me, too. And I don’t know how, or why, but . . . maybe if I meet with the Blade like he said, I’ll figure it out.”

The logic was sound. It made sense. And it was something, Acxa knew, that Keith was fixated on, even if he didn’t bring it up regularly. But though Ulaz had infiltrated the castle six weeks ago, they had yet to trace the coordinates he had given them to visit the Blade of Marmora’s hidden base. Their delay was justified; there was always more work to be done. But all things considered, Acxa felt there was a good chance Lotor was delaying their visit on purpose.

Acxa glanced sidelong at the frown Keith was sending Zethrid’s way before she faced forward again.

It was selfish of Lotor if that was the case, but if she was honest with herself, Acxa couldn’t say she didn’t understand.

[. . .]

By now they had reached the base of the stairs leading up to another floor (there being too many of them to all cram into the elevator), and whatever had hit the castle did so with enough force to tilt it briefly up on its side. Ezor flailed and grabbed the banister, while Acxa was thrown sideways into Keith, who stumbled and barely kept his balance as she was thrown into him. Narti spread her arms and straightened her tail to keep her balance, Kova digging his claws into her shoulder, while Zethrid grabbed the other banister and Lotor was nearly thrown back off the stairs he had just started climbing. The attack (because Acxa didn’t know what else it could be) was powerful enough to cause the castleship to tremble with aftershocks even after the blow ceased; and as they all stood up, Ezor looked at the rest of them with wide eyes.

“What was—?”

The security alarms blared to life, drowning out Ezor’s voice and causing Kova to leap off Narti’s shoulder with a startled, angry yowl. In lieu of answering Ezor, Lotor tapped the communicator on his wrist, and as soon as the hologram screen flared to life above it, snapped, “Bridge, report! What’s happening?!”

“We’re being attacked by Empire fleets!” Dune, a member of Auxiliary Team One, cried. “Two, three—at least three of them, from different ang—!”

Another attack crashed into the ship, this time from the opposite side. Acxa caught herself against the wall, and held out her other hand to brace Keith was he was nearly thrown into her. Ezor and Zethrid were gripping the stairway banisters for dear life.

“Use Keith’s console to raise the particle barrier,” Lotor ordered. “We’ll be there momentarily.”

“On it!”

Dune’s voice had already been a crackle through Lotor’s communicator, but her response was even more clipped than normal as Lotor cut the communication in a sharp snap before he turned to head up the stairs again. Acxa and the others immediately hastened to follow suit, Kova climbing up Narti’s back to cling to her shoulder again, yet even as the lot of them sprinted up the staircase, Keith took the stairs two at a time to match Lotor’s strides.

“Lions?” he asked, and before Lotor had time to answer, added, “It’d be faster if we doubled back instead of going all the way to the bridge. We can get to the Lions through the Sincline hangar.”

“No,” Lotor said, and perhaps sensing the rebuttal in Keith’s frown, explained, “If we’re being attacked by this many fleets it wouldn’t be wise to counter. We’re better served using a wormhole to relocate until we can better plan our next move.”

“But how did they find us?” Acxa demanded. “Even if we leave, if we don’t know how they found us in the first place—��

“We had to have been tracked,” Zethrid said, and though Acxa agreed, that didn’t ease the knot in her throat, or the fists her fingers instinctively curled in.

“But how?” Ezor asked, a nervous frown on her lips. “Last time we were tracked by those other reality Paladins, right? By their Lions?”

“But they left a while ago,” Keith said, “and Dune didn’t say Zarkon was here. She would have mentioned it if he was.”

“If she knows what’s good for her, anyway,” Zethrid said.

“Then how did the Empire find us now?” Ezor asked. “If it wasn’t the other reality Paladins and their Lions, then what? How were we tracked?”

Lotor hadn’t broken stride the entire time they climbed the staircase. He hadn’t offered his own input, nor had he shown any indication that he heard their conversation at all. Yet as he reached the second floor he slowed, and finally came to a full stop just as Narti made it to the top of the stairs. Ezor and Zethrid, who had managed to pull ahead of him in the mad sprint up the staircase, noticed and stopped as well, both turning to look back.

“What is it?” Acxa asked.

Lotor didn’t answer her. He gave no indication to show that he even registered that she was talking to him. She was near enough to him so that she could see his profile, and while she couldn’t say why, exactly, what she saw was enough to make ice take up root in her chest. Lotor was staring at the floor, his jaw clenched. His hand was resting on the hilt of his sword. Acxa opened her mouth to call out to him again, yet thought better of it in the next tick. She looked over to Keith instead.

But for once, Keith didn’t return her glance. Instead, he was watching Lotor. His eyes were narrowed, his lips tugged in a sharp frown. And slowly—so slowly that Acxa almost didn’t catch it—he palmed and raised the Black Bayard so it was level with his waist.

Acxa restrained the impulse to reach for her Bayard in turn.

The moment, which felt like hours even though it could have only been a few seconds, ended with the ferocity of a lightning strike. Lotor whipped around as though a bolt had gone through him, his eyes wild, bright, and locked on Narti. In the next tick he threw himself forward, his sword clearing its scabbard as he brought it up in a high arc—

And a ring of steel upon rift ore echoed in the corridor as his blade clashed against Keith’s, Keith having thrown himself between Lotor and Narti like a living shield.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Keith demanded. He pushed back, knocking Lotor’s sword up and away, yet though Lotor took a step back, the wild look in his eyes didn’t fade.

“Keith,” Lotor said through a clenched jaw, “move.”

“No. We’re supposed to be under attack from the Empire, not each other,” Keith snapped. “What’s your problem?”

Lotor was gripping his sword so hard his arm was shaking. “You don’t understand—”

“I don’t think anyone could understand why you wou—” Keith froze mid-sentence, and glanced back over his shoulder. “What—?”

Keith’s voice broke, not in a yelp, but in a gasp as his spine arched and he jerked forward.

“Keith!” Acxa said, as both Ezor and Zethrid came closer. “What—?”

Her question died in her throat.

Narti had grabbed Keith. She had grabbed his arm for support, Acxa thought—had thought. She had grabbed him to give him support through whatever spasm had suddenly seized him. But the spasm wasn’t caused by anything to do with him. Three long, claw-like blades crafted from rift ore protruded through the front of Keith’s Paladin armor, dripping with his blood. They had been driven straight through, and Acxa recognized them. They all did. They were Narti’s blades, from her Bayard, as it took the same shape it always did for her. She had run them straight through Keith’s back, pushing them through until they cut open his stomach with three, evenly spaced wounds.

The one prolonged, solitary moment in which everything seemed frozen while they all processed what happened broke. Narti pushed Keith forward, and in the same moment pulled her blades out of his back. They retracted back into her Bayard with their customary shing-click as Keith—his eyes glazed even as they fluttered shut—collapsed. Lotor lurched forward, knees bent in a crouch, to catch him; his arm looped around Keith’s waist to support him as Keith sagged, limp and unresponsive, against his chest. The Black Bayard fell from Keith’s now slack grip and hit the floor with a clatter, but Lotor did not release his own weapon even as he wrapped his other arm across Keith’s back in a secure, though gentle, embrace.

Lotor’s expression was stricken, his voice strangled as he choked out, “Keith—”

The castle gave another lurch as something rammed against—it, Acxa supposed, or against the particle barrier—and though it was sudden, disruptive, and violent enough to cause them all to stumble once again, it was also enough of a shock to break through the lock her mind had slammed down in an effort to reject what had just happened. She didn’t—she didn’t want to accept it, but there Keith was, bleeding out—bleeding out in Lotor’s arms, and—

The shock, the reminder that they were under attack—it was all Lotor needed, too.

Acxa was only awarded a glimpse of his face—one tick to see not the rage, but the hatred in his eyes—before he jumped over Keith and threw himself at Narti, bringing his sword down in a vicious arc. He missed; Narti leaped backwards and hit the center of the staircase in a back handspring that allowed her to flip the rest of the way down.

Lotor wasn’t deterred. He didn’t hesitate for a heartbeat as he tore down the staircase after her. And Ezor, her eyes wide as she realized everything that was happening—

“No . . . Lotor, no!”

—she, too, sprinted right by Keith and took off after.

Ezor was chasing Lotor, who was chasing Narti, who was trying to escape, but Acxa had no time for any of them. She didn’t register when she hit her knees by Keith’s side, or even what she was going to do as she grasped Keith’s shoulders to try to pull him up, but the moment she realized what she was doing—as the reality of the situation kicked in, and she fought against the urge to kick herself for not taking command of the situation sooner, before it reached this point—she said, “Zethrid!”

“Yup.”

Acxa stood and stumbled backward as Zethrid swept forward and easily hauled Keith up off the floor.

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : Quirkless Erasure

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: 

In some worlds, Midoriya Izuku is the first quirkless hero. But not in this one, not by far.

Because his homeroom teacher is the hero he's always looked up to: UA's first quirkless Pro Hero.

----

Izuku isn't the only quirkless one, and Aizawa gets into the hero course via emotional devastation against his opponents.

anyway so: quirkless aizawa bc i need that

everyone thinks he has a quirk like emotional manipulation of something but no he's just fucking savage, he gets into the hero course bc he blasted the absolute shit out of mic

everything’s on youtube it’s one of the most viewed videos of all time

this aizawa's eyes are permanently gold bc i headcanon it's his quirk that makes his eyes black, not the colour they flash

"you yell because you have a constant fear no one is really listening to you. you play the class clown and don't try too hard so when you look back you think "i failed because i didn't try" not "i failed because i wasn't good enough""

"bro,,, bro what the fuck did i do to you"

aizawa isn’t even salty he’s quirkless tbh

"you're pushing this on me because it hurts, right? your loud, flashy but damaging quirk means the only thing people think you're useful for is heroics. did you want to do this, or is this the only way society will let you feel comfortable in the role it presses in on you"

"well being quirkless is rough but at least i cn be whatever i want to be"

mics just shell shocked mics not even using his quirk and everyone’s just uwu he’s erasing mics quirk

all aizawa does is walk is close and mutter "society thinks im worthless, which is rough. but you have to put your life on the line or you're nothing better than a villain to the people"

and just, lightly pushes him out of bounds

pls mics just in Love this guy tore him to fucking pieces but Damn

aizawa  helps him up off the floor

"so im probably not wrong but im a little sorry for saying it on live tv"

mic "youre amazing"

aizawa just goes bright red and starts sputtering

aizawa: the emotional devastation hero weakness: genuine compliments

consider 1A teacher aizawa just still made of emotional devastation, nezu made him promise not to use his powers of destruction on his children unless he was expelling them 

this is a quirkless izuku au too, mirio got ofa, allmight encouraged izuku to be a hero after the fight but had no quirk to give him and he manages to make his own way into the hero course

so izuku is a little analyst, gets mostly hero points but uses sharp rebar and poles to smash in the sensors of some robots, getting him a few non-rescue points either. Aizawa is watching like "oh interesting a non-combat quirk" and beside him allmight is vibrating with excitement

"he might actually do it!"

"who might do what"

allmight turns sheepishly to aizawa

"young midoriya on camera 6, he might just be the first quirkless student to pass the enterance exam to heroics straight up"

and aizawa can hardly watch anyone else for the rest of the exam, he adopts this kid on the fucking Spot

hes on the edge of his fucking seat, when nezu sends out the zero pointer. "this kid only needs 10 more points, just ten more" and izuku turns around to look at the 0 pointer and aizawa is like "fuck kid i hope you know what youre doing"

he manages to shove a piece of rebar into the treads, stoping it in its place. it tries to swat him like a bug but he just dives out of the way, picks up ochako and sprints and aizawa is like "holy shit holy shit these bastards better give this kid hero points for that"

like they are assigning final hero points and aizawa has to awkwardly put his hand up "i,,, should probably be excluded from giving midoriya hero points because i went from 0 to bias very very quickly"

allmight just nods sagely

"young midoriya be like that sometimes"

pls aizawa tries to act extra tough bc he can’t let anyone know he’s Adopted this child

for all izuku's brain hes useless w social stuff and thinks aizawa hates him but everyone else k n o w s

also izuku is the only person in 1A who knows ab aizawa's "quirk" and hes like, constantly vibrating w glee around the guy

aizawa walks in the first day, hears bakugo asking how this "quirkless bastard" got in, grabs bakugo w his scarf and yeets him into vlad’s room

"ok students, looks like we are a class of 19. any other comments before we start?"

and like everyone is so lost no one questions it

bakugo is screaming bloody murder until vlad "kindly" tells him ua has a strict no discrimination policy and aizawa would have been well within his rights to expel him

please nezu is like "uwu take one of 1B to make the classes even" and vlad is like "no ive already bonded tough cookies" vlad just adopts bakugo instantly

monoma and bakugou become bros, the baku-squad is 50% a thing, but its mostly 1B students but with pinning kiri. kendo and bakugo both keep monoma in line, monoma and kendo keep bakugo in line

during the sports festival shinsou is like "you must have a blessed quirk to get into the hero course"

and izuku just has this "really. this si what we're doing now" look on his face. hes just gesturing to shinso in exasperation, trying to make eye contact w aizawa hidden up in the commentary box

all you can hear from the box is aizawa quiet snickering as mic tries not to give the game away. he yeets shinso out of bonds and just hauls him back to his feet

"im quirkless you nonce"

"oh,,,"

"yeah, oh. what, gonna be embarrassed a quirkless kid kicked your ass?"

"nah i just feel bad for being a dick"

"ok you are the only valid person ive ever met, come meet my not-dad"

"wait what"

izuku fireman carries shinso into the announcers booth and just presents him to aizawa

you can just vaguely hear "no not kid" "but he'll be perfect" "kid this is live ask me after the festival" "but! hed be perfect! and you could train him to carry on your legacy of soul-crushing burns" "... hmmm"

"do i get a say in this?" "no" "nope"

mic just loudly saying "SO BEFORE WE WITNESS A CHILD CRY LIVE ON AIR AGAIN, AS ALWAYS HAPPENS IN THIS FESTIVAL, LETS START THE NEXT ROUND!"

there’s a counter “days since someone last cried: 0”

please its like "times cried durring all sports festivals" "average cry events" "number of times cried this festival"

aizawa being even more of a dad than canon, like hes a mess he sees on sad kid and he's like "wow that's my kid now"

he makes them soup when they get sick and leaves it outside their doors, refuses to admit its him doing it

soup cryptid

please mic is like 100% in love with him and had been for years but aizawa still has internal bias against the quirkless and thinks he's not good enough for mic so he cant make himself see the flirting for what it really is

“haha he’s just being friendlyL

“aizawa i literally want to marry u”

“awww ur so nice u mean as friends tho right?”

in this au ive decided that quirkless heroes are a thing, but pretty rare, in japan they are all underground bc villains go after them a l o t. there are some public ones in america but they tend to,,, die,,, pretty quickly

and bc there are some quirkless heroes everyone acts like discrimination isn't a thing anymore and quirkless people should shut up while quirkless people are still getting killed and committing suicide at like 500% the rate of people with quirks

also the suicide rate is,,,,, significantly higher in japan but no one ever talks abt it bc japan the “ideal place for people with quirks” so that surely means nothing could ever go wrong

izuku does the "its your power" speech in like 3 parts, before, during and after the sports festival bc he needs he bones w no quirk

stain asks izuku what his quirk is and izuku does the "wouldn't you like to know, weather boy"

",,, where are your parents"

"one abandoned me straight up and the other is giving it a red hot go right now, try me coward"

izuku but everytime he roasts a villain he does it in vine quotes

tl;dr in the au inko is like,, not ok w izuku being a hero and she's trying to do the "leave the school or you can't live here any more" ultimatum and it's not working for her

bc izuku said "ok bye then" and now lives out of his backpack. no one knows. he just like,, sleeps on the train

and iida is like "owo could i come over to your house" and izuku is like

"aaaaa its on fire. yep. made of arsenic and always in flames, why dont we go to the park"

everyone in 1a is like betting on what his house is like. they harass katsuki in 1b but he refuses to talk

hes like "hell no i got thrown into another class for talking ab that nerd eat my left tit"

they only fucking work it out when aizawa and allmight go to izukus house to talk ab dorms and there is literally no one there

aizawa asks izuku ab it like "kid you need to update your forms with your current address" and hes like "oh worm, she moved? wack."

“u,,,,didn’t know,,,,”

“nah lmao i sleep on the bench in a park near here”

“my boy,,,,,l

"what, ochako lives alone!"

"yeah, in a fucking house, kid"

aizawas just: this is literal child abuse i’m ur guardian now

allmight "hes my kid too dont be greedy"

"fuck off all might you already have mirio" "and you already have shinsou!" nighteye, from around the corner "ill take him!" aizawa and allmight "NO"                                  

mic adopts him nezu just sitting in the distance "well, its my school. i get the kid" one whole school full of adult heroes "NO ITS MY SON,,," izukus like crying "wait,,, you guys aren't sick of me? wild" while sobbing

afo out of nowhere: i’ll take the child :))) everyone collectively: N O

for self-indulgence, izuku is the youngest in the class for this au so they all call him their little brother

consider: quirkless aizawa is very similar to normal aizawa but he does practise self-care, he just tries to make it look like he doesnt because hes like that

if i dont take care of myself ill never be able to stand up to the heroes w quirks but also do i deserve normal good human things

tl:dr: he can cook well and is trying to teach izuku that 2-minute noodles and apples arent hero fuel

inko is like: "uwu i wont change what i cook for you so you'll just have to make do owo" in like, a pathetic attempt to get him to stop training so izuku runs off protein bars, electrolyte drinks and raw vegetables

just like, his bento at school. its only raw mushrooms, spinach, tomatoes and 2 full carrots

the only time he gets like a kinda valid balanced meal for a hero in training is when he pops by bakugous place and mitsuki forces him to stay for lunch

izuku is like "oh hi bakugo i have ur book-" "HI ITS LUNCH GET IN PIPSQUEAK"

hes just thrown into a chair, bakugo isnt even confused. izuku is like ",,,, so vlad gave me your book bc your house is near mums." "fair enough. hope you like miso salmon"

izuku just looks stary eyed

"f i s h ??? warm food bakugo id kill for you"

"deku wtf"

"i had nothing but 3 scoops of protein powder and 2 tomatoes today"

“dEKU WHAT THE FUCK”

"i had to eat the protein podwer with plain water kacchan. protein sludge followed by two raw tomatoes. i would commit real actual murder for you"

mitsuki always packs an extra bento after that

so like when it’s dorm time izuku gets rly stressed out bc he doesn’t know how to cook for himself??? bakugous in the 1b dorms and even if he wasn’t he definitely wouldn’t cook for him

1a goes on a fucking shopping trip, chaperoned, obviously

and they’re lining up and aizawa sees that izukus cart is only filled with like??? instant noodles and like two (2) fruits and he’s losing his mind bc yes okay he’s a child but he’s also a young hero and he’s going to get a heart attack by 20 if he doesn’t fix his diet

aizawa is like "izuku, you cant eat that" and izuku just goes "oh ok" puts the noodles back and comes back with a tub of protein powder and like 11 vegetables and a bag of kale

okay this is an improvement kinda, how do u cook it

,,,,,c

cook?

izuku just has a totally blank face

"i was just gonna like,,, eat it"

"raw."

"uh, yeah, is that not how u eat vegetables?”

"thats a potato. and some leeks. thats a fucking onion"

"it wont kill me though"

"thats,,, that not how you pick food kid."

“but vegetable??? good????”

"kid do you even fucking like any of this"

"wait, im supposed to like?? my food???"

yagi in the fucking health food isle hearing this is 50% laughing but 50% crying

aizawa: “izuku ur supposed to eat a well balanced and tasty meal”

izuku: *surprized pikachu face*

please even todoroki is like ",,, at least fuyumi could c o o k"

oh god imagine having a worse diet than shouto todoroki from 1a who eats nothing but cold soba and drinks juice

also please aizawa is like "kid i thought you just happened to be thin but now im seeing thats not the case"

bakugo in the distance "like inko ever fed him enough anyway lmao"

aizawa "WAIT WHAT"

whys bakugou shopping with 1a? its actually all 40 of the first years just descending on this poor little store. it’s this little mom and pop grocery store and a billion hungry hero hopefuls just burst through the door like 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒏𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒔

izuku is like "oh its too expensive" and aizawa is just holding a bag of rice, aizawa is like "its cheaper than the protein powder you have"

and izuku is like "yeah i mean its empty calories and im not paying that much for empty calories"

",,,"

"thats what you taught us sensei!"

"EMPTY CALORIES ARE ONLY A PROBLEM IF UR EATING TOO MUCH"

"and?"

"YOU HAVE 3 POTAOES FOR THE NEXT 2 WEEKS"

"i can put some back if you want?"

"THATS EXACTLY WHAT I DONT WANT"

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Fl4k Fl4k Fl4k Fl4k Fl-

i didn’t die i just fell in love with that skill tree creator and have done nothing for the past few days but make skill trees and sleep for 3 hour intervals. im very excited for the gameplay on Wednesday but oh man oh me oh my i gotta catch up on a lot of posts lol

tl;dr: Fl4k is a badass. Stop misgendering them or I’ll show up at your home at 3am local time every time and then eat your spine. Bonus: Mr. Chew being an ‘Eridian skag’ is probably due to some funky mutation from eridium/slag/eridian stuff. Kinda like how Threshers have the ability to make singularities because they are native to Elpis, which is a big ol’ Eridian base (which i totally addressed in this post lol). I also gave my opinion on Fl4k’s skills in general, if you’re interested in that. Overall, a very awesome trailer! Definitely lived up to the hype.

i said it before, this trailer was one of the best ones. definitely #2 for me, Zane is still at #1 because i actually laughed during it. the music in this one is definitely the best out of all 4 tho. seems like they’re all variations of the same song, i like this one best. I need this soundtrack sooo bad.

also i know probably no one else following this blog watches one piece but like

that first footstep with the studded boot and the sound effect immediately flung me back to katakuri. god katakuri was a badass. i was so excited to see that fight animated.

mr chew spinning around is my favorite thing ever. i love that you can tell the personality of the pets just from watching the intro. 

i know fl4k is like a real badass in this trailer, but i get the feeling they’re going to end up being at least a little soft for their pets. i mean... they have stuffed animals of them ffs.

so... we’re near Sanctuary-III in this trailer? I gotta keep my eye out then. i also want to see if that one claptrap area guess i had is correct or not... this looks like an entryway for the garage so im guessing i wasn’t, but let’s seeeee

there is a raised bit up and to the left

also im wondering if this means we’re going to have to rescue ellie from the CoV.

hmmmmmmmm

hmmmmm i don’t think the signs match up.

mr chew is the goodest boy. im so glad we can pet/interact with him!! i want to know what the names of the other pets are

also, a bit off topic but

i could have sworn fl4k’s jabber was cryo/shock. it was blue, wasn’t it? i wonder if they changed it or if it’s skill upgrades change its color. i thought the upgrades just gave it better guns.

yeah it was! i guess possibly upgrading it with the guns gives it a new color scheme? maybe? this could be the gunslinger upgrade!

it looks like their jabber went through the most design changes out of all of the pets. that or this is yet another upgrade (since each pet has 3 states). maybe this is the beefcake version.

‘bitch’. i love how expressive fl4k is with just the eye. very well done.

ohhh you know what that building is in the back?

[we’re near the intro to the game!]*

and tbh i don’t think this place has the building for Ellie’s Scrap in it... i don’t see it anywhere. maybe this is the actual scrapyard and the building is on the other side?

not quite sure tbh. but at least we know this place may also be near sanc-iii, just maybe not the same area as the actual Ellie’s Scrap.

i mean... there IS a shitload of cars everywhere. i wouldn’t surprised if it’s near her garage cause it looks like a scrapyard.

but also where in the fuck are all these ‘normal’ looking cars coming from?? it’s not like we see them being used on pandora. all the ones we see in bl1/2 are clearly dilapidated and rusting. big thonk. at least the vans/busses kinda make sense.

oh yeah that is definitely the same building. [it’s the recruitment center!]*

this scene with the rakk is my favorite out of all the trailers. so fuckin cool

i do hope the jabber goes back to being blue at some point. i like the red design too, don’t get me wrong, but i much prefer the glowy blue. it’s my favorite color and you guys know i love glowing things 👀

<Huge Selection!!!> lol

cat/doggo/monkey. mr chew is my favorite pet but i love the jabber panting like a dog lol

i never knew this is where spiderant mouths were

i always assumed they were below that... f r e a k y

“he likes to chase cars”

fl4k probably took them to the scrapyard for this exact reason ngl. fl4k being a big softie to their pets confirmed

(also, notice how fl4k uses ‘he’ for mr chew. it’s almost as if they understand the concept of gender, chose their own pronouns, and your argument that they only are nonbinary only because they “don’t understand yet” is invalid! Fl4k is canonically nonbinary and uses they/them/theirs pronouns as confirmed by both SungWon Cho and their in-game skills. 

Now that you know, use they/them/theirs for Fl4k or get off my blog. Because by not doing so, you are disrespecting the devs’ wishes for this character AND the nonbinary people who find representation in them and I won’t support that. if you feel like arguing your reasons to purposefully misgender them even after knowing this, please DM me so I can block you. thanks! 

For those of you out there actually making an effort: mistakes happen, especially if Fl4k is the first NB person you’ve learned about. Just make sure to correct yourself then move on, and we’re okay. Everyone has to learn sometime and it’s better to put in the effort than not care at all. It will become second nature.)

Fl4k is such a badass, they really are way different than i expected (personality-wise), but i am not complaining. gearbox knows me better than i know myself, so i know i’m going to end up loving Fl4k anyway. ProZD did such a fantastic job, i honestly did not recognize him at first! i can tell with certain words now, but wow i am blown away. 

i hope we’re able to climb that bird’s nest lookin’ thing in the back. it would be perfect for sniping and/or placing ur clone for maximum coverage.

seriously, what a badass.

idk i feel obligated to give my opinions of Fl4k over here since they were recently released. I am digging them 100%, tho i was kinda surprised (not in a bad way) they’re not as... i guess soft as i was expecting from their character design with the plushes and the face on the backpack and the smiley face pin, but i imagine that’s different when they’re interacting with their pets. im super curious to see how this VH group’s dynamic is going to go. 

mechanically, their skills seem perfect for people who loved sniper Zer0 and in general Mordecai, with a splash of Salvador tossed in for good luck. I am a dirty melee Zer0 main and i prefered Phasewalking over Bloodwing (altho i still play mordy bc he’s best bl1 VH) so, while I am definitely going to give Fl4k a go, they’re not my main bl3 Vault Hunter, that’s reserved for Zane and his lovely ability to befuddle enemies and run around. Funnily enough, I’m not even a fan of pet classes, so Fl4k being second in my play order is pretty funny. Tho, yeah, Amara being last is also pretty weird. I guess I don’t necessarily enjoy melee, I just enjoy messing with the bad guys lol

ohh, also, I am most interested in the upgrade for mr. chew that gives him the ability to create singularities and is called ‘Eridian Skag’. 

so I’m not saying my theory that the threshers on the moon were connected to Eridians was right, I’m just saying they’re the only form of wildlife we know that has a singularity ability (outside of Mr. Chew, apparently). 

im just saying gearbox, you should hire me to write your deep lore for you cause i’d do it for free

im wondering if we’ll be seeing skags with wormhole abilities in bl3. maybe the constant exposure to slag is starting to mutate them further beyond just elemental bonuses (on badass skags). We know Maya’s phaselock has a singularity ability (so does Amara’s phasegrasp), and that is sorta ‘occurring naturally’ (you know, as natural as siren powers can get) unlike the singularity grenades we encounter which use our known technology. plus, uh, whatever happened to the destroyer’s eye in TPS that made it create a singularity/wormhole by injecting it with a fuckload of slag. that probably has something to do with this as well.

but geez i really hope mr. chew is okay with being all slag/eridium-ed up. i guess being badass elemental skags doesn’t appear to hurt them, just make them more powerful, unlike humans. maybe that has something to do with sentience, if slag/eridium/eridian stuff actually is driving bandits crazy. could explain why/if the jabber doesn’t get an element like the skag (eridian skag) and spiderant (fire) do, since they’re described as semi-sentient...

anyway.

Fl4k is cool. Definitely a neat trailer- my second favorite for sure- and the skill tree drop blew me away because i was not expecting it. im expecting a lot of Fl4k mains in the first few weeks of gameplay because they look like a lot of fun!

EDIT: i was wrong, in the newest IGN vid, it turns out we ARE near the recruitment center, because that IS the recruitment center

they gave them little orange flags! good to know!!

[stitchlike]

hc - earth grudge fear ( jiongu )

since kishimoto slipped a disc right in the middle of kakuzu and hidan arc, it is up to me to explain kakuzu’s horror jutsu, it is MY duty now.

so the only details that are known about earth grudge fear / jiongu is that its a forbidden technique that kakuzu stole from his village and that it’s capable of extending his life by stealing hearts of other people. and that, as seen on tv, kakuzu is full of tiny, black tendrils that can be manipulated by him and can be used to heal from even the nastiest wounds. the hearts claimed by jiongu seem to be able to operate on their own, though i would not call them sentient (because 

but nothing was ever explained about the origin of the technique or what exactly is it and thats where i, coyote, come in with my epic cool headcanons, here i go

tl;dr -  earth grudge fear is a weird fusion between a jutsu and biology. originally, the black threads were summoned and used as a medical jutsu but the risk associated with them was too great (and too freaky). the gathered black threads were sealed away and the art of summoning them was forbidden. kakuzu stole the jutsu, used it on himself and is now the sole living host of jiongu / earth grudge fear. which has severely messed up his body and would have continued to do so were it not for his tragic, untimely death.

first record of jiongu / earth grudge fear is that of an ancient medical technique, especially useful during the first shinobi conflicts. the shinobi medics of the region that would eventually become takigakure knew a technique of summoning a small gathering of black threads. those threads, when guided to a wound, would move on their own and stitch together the cut tissue. the black threads were capable of re-attaching lost limbs and closing otherwise life-threatening wounds. this was also a time before precise medical jutsus were developed/learned from other shinobi regions. the black threads were the main healing technique, they were effective but crude. they did not help with the pain or regeneration, they just closed the wounds. eventually, they were replaced by more modern medical ninjutsus.

PLUS medics of takigakure were actively seeking to replace the black threads because the repeated use of them was proven to be very detrimental to the body. with every summon or every stitch, there was a risk of becoming infected with the threads that could slip into a human body with ease. the tendrils are drawn to chakra and since human body generates it, they seek to infiltrate it in order to be closer to the source. this resulted in medics suddenly coughing up the clumps of wriggling black threads or shinobi removing their bandages only to see something moving underneath their skin. the black threads were very effective for severe wounds, but repeated use was extremely dangerous. the threads could obstruct airways and accidentally choke their host or they could end up clogging veins, leading to serious heart complications. the threads would also multiply by transforming the victim’s body, often affecting vital organs and leading to their failures as their tissue was literally turned into new tendrils.

this is also where the name of the jutsu comes from: earth grudge fear. people internally infected by the threads were seen as cursed. coughing up the clumps of threads was a sign of being haunted by those who received similar wounds but died.

de-threading was possible through extensive operations which were often fatal (hard to pull out a bunch of wriggling worms from the brain, for example). the removed threads had to be sealed away, as once summoned they would not return to their place of origin (nobody knew where that was anyways). they also seemed unable to die, even after separated from the host body. 

once future takigakure shinobis learned the art of more practical (and tamer) medical ninjutsus, it was decided that summoning black threads was no longer beneficial and the jutsu had to be forgotten. every single scroll containing the summoning technique was gathered and burned. only one remained behind (just in case). it was the scroll that had access to the writhing mass of black threads gathered from de-threading operations. this summoning pact was takigakure’s first forbidden technique, a keepsake from ancient conflicts.

and that’s the scroll kakuzu stole after his prison break. severely wounded after his escape, he decided to use jiongu’s famed healing abilities AND embarrass the village by stealing one of its treasures. he summoned a sea of chakra-starved threads which entered his body in a very painful, nasty rush (which was not what he expected). at this point, his recollection of this night gets a bit fuzzy. though, he has a vivid memory of his jaw getting split in two so that a mass of black tendrils now residing in his stomach could snatch up a whole human heart through his throat (which is the origin of his face stitches). i do want to write about the night kakuzu uses jiongu for the first time but this post is already monstrously long, so thats for another time. but i will mention that kakuzu burned the remaining scroll so he is now the only jiongu user in the shinobi world. 

kakuzu is a VERY unique case of the jiongu infection that has never happened before, even at the peak of jutsu’s usage. at the time he joined akatsuki, his body consisted of 75% black threads. at this point, the threads have essentially become his chakra pathways, replaced most of his muscle tissue and created clusters that took on some of the organ functions, like. his body is MESSED UP. its a horror show, for real. the threads are a part of him and controlling them is second nature to him, it’s just like chakra control or moving a limb. and yes the threads or the hearts animated by them can function independently of kakuzu but their priority is protecting their host body, always. they heal him, they keep him alive, they let him store additional chakra through stolen hearts and control it like its his, they can be used offensively as those funky heart beasts in anime. he can use them medically too, without spreading the infection. its like total symbiosis between him and those wriggly boys.

BUT... BUT... one question remains and that’s where did the black threads come from in the first place? who invented the summoning jutsu that summoned a bunch of wriggly tendrils that could sew up wounds? nobody knows, kakuzu has no idea, however i do because im typing these words right now. the threads are not of this world, they came FROM SPACE along with the seed of god tree. the threads are essentially a form of a parasite that’s drawn to chakra. though, maybe its less parasite and more like virus, because the threads are not sentient, all they know is that they have to infiltrate any chakra container they find. the threads infected the god tree until they were sealed away by kaguya. and then the scroll that kept them sealed somehow found its way to the future region of takigakure and the rest is history. so yes, space eldritch worms that cannot be killed. why? because it’s creepy and i love that !

if kakuzu continued to live, it’s possible the constant injuries and the constant multiplication of black threads would cause him to outgrow his human skin. his attitude towards the kinjutsu is... Complicated. that’s also material for another post but he doesn’t hate it, its just something he did to stay alive. he also doesnt treat it as a living thing (and hes right bc its technically not alive), its just like. germs in your stomach, you don’t exactly think of them as your faithful companions, they just happen to live inside ur guts and help you out.

i think that’s all i remembered to write! so, just as tl;dr stated at the beginning: a weird fusion between biology and a jutsu. it almost seems like it doesnt fit in naruto world but then u remember this anime has aliens and cloning science and then it does make sense. the end!

i have finished what kishimoto’s slipped disc could not (IM JOKING !!!!).

[garrus-vakkarian]

I'd honestly love to hear you talk about why Morrowind is so good. I've heard stuff about the ambiguity compared to the most recent games.

This turned out way longer than I intended, but I have a lot of reasons for why I love Morrowind. 

Note: I’m assuming that you know the base villain and plot of the game, or else these reasons might not make sense. 

TL;DR: Morrowind is good because I get to 1 hit kill a god and do drugs. 

The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind is a timeless RPG that has managed to infect nearly all its players with the worst strain of Nostalgia ever conceived, so, as a disclaimer, I will attempt to state my reasons without those Rose-Tinted Nostalgia Glasses™ that Bethesda initially released in the box. 

That said, Morrowind is an absolutely broken game - broken to the point of hilarity and frustration. It’s playable, but only barely, because if incessant crashing doesn’t turn you off (without convenient autosaves being a thing), the combat will.

Combat in Morrowind forces you to forget any modern notion of what combat with swords should be. You can get within an inch of your enemy and still miss your swing. In fact, it’s quite likely that you will die to a rat at level 1; a rat who you couldn’t hit even if you had a gun. 

The game makes you find and exploit whatever cheap tactic you find because your enemies will employ the same bullshit. For example, it is possible to be indefinitely paralyzed by some prick-ass bandit with an enchanted dagger, forcing you to watch helplessly as your health slowly fizzles away. 

More than that though, a lot of the base mechanics of the game are against you. Archery and Stealth barely work, running requires stamina (if you don’t have stamina, you miss your opponents, so get ready to walk everywhere), and magic doesn’t regenerate unless you sleep. 

Enemies are incapable of disengaging from you, nearly all crimes are noticeable by obscenely psychic guards, and entire factions will be locked off from you because you haven’t grinded your skills hard enough to match their “On A Scale from 1 to 100, You Must Be a 40 in Sneak Skill to reach the next rank.” 

The game makes you adapt to its ridiculous, bullshitery or else you’ll die horribly over and over again to the same idiotic nonsense that is rightly dated. 

But therein, between all those aggravated quick loads and nonsensical deaths, lies the true beauty of Morrowind. It does what few games do- forces you to bask in it’s alien, bizarre world whether you like it or not. 

You’re literally dropped into a world where the main method of transport is bugs, where there is a legally sanctioned murder guild, where racism and slavery are the norm, and you’re just expected to, well, get with it. 

It’s the uniqueness of its world that Morrowind strides the most at, and what it’s most famous for. The game, in its entirety, presents something new - whereas most elves are pictured as peaceful tree huggers, the dunmer are portrayed as a violent, hateful, xenophobic people who won’t hesitate to tell you off. 

And you will be told off. A lot. You arrive to Vvardenfell as an outsider, and the majority of people will hate you simply for being you, and it is up to you alone to amend that; to improve your own standing. That can be done either by joining guilds or performing quests.

Those themselves are where you’re really get into the nitty-gritty of the game, and it’s from there where you’ll meet the multitude of the game’s citizens and lore. 

Missions in the game are different from Skyrim’s, and to an extent, Oblivion’s. You will be forced to talk to people who hate you, just as you’ll be forced to read lines of scripture to answer riddles and puzzles. 

You’ll learn that by joining the Great House Telvanni, you can legally kill your rivals to gain their rank. (Telvanni law stipulates that if you kill someone and take their rank and holdings, the original owner wasn’t strong enough to hold them.) By joining the Tribunal Temple, you’ll confront a Dremora who wants to do -ahem- unspeakable things to your corpse. There’s even a quest where you transport a slave back to her masters, only to watch said slave be cut opened because her body is carrying drugs. 

On your questing and adventuring, you’ll meet a wizard who made female clones of himself so they could act as his daughters and concubines (at the same time), an orc who thinks he’s a khajiit, a nord who gives you the location of long lost treasure if you simply share a drink with him, a scamp who sells goods, an insane magister who hates men, and a whole host of other unique and fascinating people. 

To drive the in the point- the first major character you run into has a crippling crack skooma addiction. 

And throughout it all, as you wander and learn more about this world, you become the hero. You, who arrived as a shunned outsider, who died to a tiny rat at the beginning of the game, becomes the chosen champion of a Daedric god and a reincarnation of a hero, whose sole duty is to kill a false god and bring peace of Morrowind. 

Or so you’re told, because the real beauty in Morrowind, as you said, is its ambiguity. 

In Skyrim, you’re born into greatness. You’re the hero because you’re the dragonborn. Why are you the dragoborn? Because prophecy told said so. Why did prophecy say so? Because you’re the dragonborn, et cetera, et cetera. 

In Morrowind, you can easily say that you were chosen at birth to fulfill a prophecy stated by Azura (see; “an uncertain hero born to uncertain parents”), but evidence in the game allows you to argue to the opposite. 

While Azura’s prophecy was real (in the fact that a hero would end Dagoth and the Tribunal,) the who and why are arbitrary. It’s more likely that Azura kept throwing people at the proverbial wall until one stuck; she kept trying to find more and more heroes until one proved themselves strong enough to fulfill her own prophecy. 

You, through your actions, make yourself the hero. You employ the mantle of the Neravarine because your own trials and tribulations made you worthy enough to emulate Nerevar. 

But the ambiguity goes even farther than just the player character; ambiguity is in the world itself. The Dunmer and their Tribunal are the epitome of this; the Dunmer are as kind and warm as they are racist and aggressive. The Tribunal is as benevolent and generous as they are self-serving and ego-maniacal. 

You can argue that the main villain of the game is Azura for forcing political upheaval and change in a peaceful state, just as you could argue that the tribunal are the true culprits; who’s actions lead to the rise of Dagoth Ur and eventual normalization of a autocratic theocracy which violently subdued the unfaithful. Hell, I’ve even see people argue that the Dwemer are the real initial culprits. 

These conclusions are yours to make, just as it was always truly your choice to become the hero Morrowind needed. 

Or at least that’s how I see it. In any event, those are the reasons I like Morrowind. If you read this far, I love u, bc it’s hard to deal with my morrowind rambling lol

[kingintodreams]

i love my parents and all like any child should but like.... im honestly so glad i moved out and i really think getting out of there has helped me start growing and changing for the better

like... i love my parents but that environment isnt the best. like to the point where the idea of going back down fills me with anxiety but sometimes u gotta do shit that scares u? 

but being away from dad especially, its even harder coming back. he’s just....i dont know. he’s a good guy? but i remember being scared a lot growing up not bc he hit me or anything but there was always that implication that he would ‘if i were a good dad’ he said a couple times

and he never did

but i was always scared of it

and i guess some ppl can get over that? idk why i cant. im almost 25 and im still scared of my dad sometimes

im scared of a lot of things tho

mostly im scared im always gonna be like him. passive aggressive, selfish, lazy, angry, and just

a fucking time bomb just waiting for an excuse to go off

and talking to him now is like dealing with a bigger angrier me

like we’ve all been trying to get him and my mom to quit smoking. my dad had a fucking quadruple bypass and the way he thanks whatever powers that be for giving him pretty much a new heart is to just fill it up with poison again

the reason mom doesnt quit is because when she tries dad feels isolated and guilt trips so hes not the only one killing himself

and we’re all like? why dont you try to quit then? why not try to change?

and every time its excuse after excuse after excuse

‘do you have any idea how hard a habit is to quit?’ ‘ive been smoking for nearly 30 years’ ‘im more likely to die from high cholesterol than from smoking’ ‘when i try to quit the withdrawal turns me into a mean guy’

like oh, thanks, for guilting us into letting you keep ur fucking cigarettes so u can spare us from any more emotional abuse

like imagine dealing with shit like that every day. now that ive moved out im always beside myself everytime i come home to that. he doesn’t act like that too often when we’re around, but when he does i notice it

and it gets me thinking how i was like that??

i cant even say ‘i was’ cuz i dont know if ive really changed or im just tricking myself into thinking i have

maybe im just always ready to believe im the bad guy. i mean i was pretty toxic and like ive been told by a couple ppl ive made some progress but i always have this doubt when i try to tell myself i have my head above the water and im breathing now

like

am i really?

anyway tl;dr im a real piece of shit but my dads an even bigger piece of shit and refuses to learn so i think im ok by comparison?

tho i shouldnt compare growth

thats not fair

[qvstionarchives]

heres me talking about jasmine because im a paranoid wreck and wanna write him but theres just.....so much that needs to be clarified and explained abt him

if ur reading this bc ur actually curious about him u da real mvp ilu anyway!

i wanna start off by saying 99.9999% of jasmine’s stuff i pull from my OWN experiences. thats why i would not like to label him etc. so essentially? one of the biggest or most noticeable things abt writing him would yeah be his hallucinations and/or delusions. its not smth he can just turn off u kno. yall could be having a completely regular convo like ordering coffee and he feels smth grab him or touch him. obviously it aint real and honestly hes NOT gonna make a big deal of it. he might be like “haha quit touching my neck” and when the other persons like “i aint doing shit man” hed really just kinda pause and go “oh alright. im imaging things then” and he just goes on as normal. sometimes things are more intense and he might have an actual panic attack but im not about to spring that on someone out of nowhere. and like delusions too? things like he cant sleep without some source of light or he will Literally Die (again obv not but thats what he believes, even if he doesnt want to)  the reality is, what he deals with is everyday life to him ok? i cant just ..i legit cant write him without writing his feelings and experiences too otherwise its not jasmine

and on the other hand also?? hes DEPRESSED my man. he has trouble getting things done, he gets anxious when he doesnt have the energy to do smth. sometimes he can just lie in bed and think “theres smth i should be doing but i cant force myself to get up” and he. will. have. an. anxiety. attack. because. of. it.

i......i dunno jaz is already a character dear to my heart and i wanna write him but people get scared off by characters who arent, for all intents and purposes, neurotypical.

tl;dr the whole point of me rambling like this is to basically say, YES jaz deals with a lot of problems and YES he will hallucinate or struggle with other things in day to day life but that DOESNT MEAN EVERY THREAD HAS TO BE SERIOUS, DRAMATIC, OR DEPRESSING

[lizziebennet]

i want like your complete thoughts on snape aurora lmao

HONEYYOUVEGOTABIGSTORMCOMING.GIF

so id just like to say that when i read the harry potter books first time and the third time and the sixth time  i didn’t hate snape. i never loved him, but i thought he was a super interesting character bc he was like a triple agent and he made for some rly great story. like the #drama of snape killing dumbledore was an Iconic Event in book history. but it was after book 7 came out and i learned that people genuinely liked snape?? like sympathized with him and stuff????? then i started to HATE him because people’s reactions to him after deathly hallows were… ridiculous. 

bc lemme tell u kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! re reading the series with the knowledge of snapes backstory and everything from the prince’s tale doesn’t explain/excuse like. any of snape’s actions in most of the books!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

its just sooooo frustrating to me bc harry potter is a series about shades of grey. it’s not tolkien where the Bad Guy™ is the embodiment of Pure Evil and the other side is Pure Good. i mean here it is in plain text in ootp: 

“We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.”

so like you have the Spectrum of Darkness with voldemort (p much the #1 spot on that scale), umbridge (also p high up there), fudge (who’s main sin is willful ignorance), and yeah i think even dumbledore would have a place on that scale. what im getting at is this: even though snape indisputably does some good things he can still be a totally shitty person. like, hes not voldemort but that doesnt mean hes a saint either. like the quote said,  maybe hes not Evil To The Core inside but he chose to act like a dick all of the time so that’s what i think he is. a dick. because even if he had this great love for lily inside him the whole time, i can only judge him on his actions. and his actions show that hes THE FUCKING WORST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

its just. inconceivable to me how you can justify snape’s actions like. first of all he willingly joins a genocidal terrorist organization so. theres THAT LITTLE FACT THAT IS DIFFICULT TO OVERLOOK. 

and i’ve read a lot of people “””justify””” that with two things. first is snape’s childhood/him growing up in a slytherin environment. like, almost saying ‘poor baby didnt know any better :((’ which is just like. completely ridiculous. for starters im not sure that anti-muggle ideology was forced on snape as a child. his father was a muggle, and although it’s made clear in the books that snape has a horrible relationship with both his parents, it doesnt really make sense for his mother to preach pureblood/wizard superiority to him if she herself married a muggle man. furthermore, snape grew up in a muggle neighborhood. as a child, he must have interacted with them with some frequency. and yet when he talks to lily as a child he is already sooooo dismissive of petunia because of her lack of magic which is like. pretty sociopathic if you ask me. 

and like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he had lily!!!!!! as a friend!!!!!!!!!! for over five years!!!!!!!! he couldve learned from lily like. examples of love and friendship and equality!!!! he apparently LOVED lily!!!!!!!!! AND HE STILL DECIDES TO JOIN A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION WHOSE GOAL IS TO WIPE OUT HER KIND????? W H Y??

and it’s not like he’s draco whose parents were death eaters and voldemort was like “u must become a death eater or ur whole family will be murdered” (not like that i like draco lol). like if anything snape’s half blood status would be a deterrent to joining the death eaters. remember: his mother married a muggle. so he absolutely had a choice and CHOSE to join voldemort. 

the second thing ive often heard people say is “but he changed his mind!!!” referring to when snape becomes a double agent for dumbledore. but like… is that even true????? did voldemort coming after lily make snape have an epiphany like “hold up… maybe … muggleborns dont.. deserve to die?? for being born???” i would like to point out that we NEVER get that confession from snape. EVER. we never hear him say like “i am with the order of the phoenix because i disagree fundamentally with voldemort’s anti-muggle ideology.” 

the ONLY reason snape goes to dumbledore and becomes a double agent is because of his “””love”””” for lily. the only reason he stays a part of the order is to protect harry and maybe like get revenge on voldemort for killing lily. BUT HE COULDVE BEEN A MUGGLE HATER THE WHOLE TIME!!! LIKE FOR THE WHOLE BOOK SERIES!!!!!!!!!!! 

and like what about befoRE snape turned on voldemort. he was part of the death eaters for YEARS. and he was considered part of voldemorts inner circle, his most trusted death eaters and like. you dont get into that circle by doing nothing. so i have to assume that snape did some fucked up shit! like killing muggles and muggleborns and shit! like! reminder that he WILLINGLY joined this organization! 

like he truly did not give a shit about anyone lol. like when he comes to dumbledore to plead with him to save lily and dumbledore is like “what about her baby and her husband do u care about their lives at all” and snape straight up does not give a SHIT about harry and james. snape is totally fine with a BABY dying. 

lemme say that a little louder for the people in the back: SEVERUS SNAPE IS TOTALLY AND 100% OKAY WITH AN INNOCENT BABY BEING SLAUGHTERED. 

and this isnt just any baby. it’s lily’s baby. and if snape knew lily AT ALL (lily who was “uncommonly kind”) he would know that lily would love her child more than anything and prioritize her child’s life above her own. but snape is just like “i dont care if her child and husband are murdered as long as shes fine lol” like…. okay????????? lily would literally hate him if he did manage to save her instead of harry lol. 

its just….. insane that he only gives a shit when voldemort comes after someone he personally cares about. like. he was fine with anyone else dying! thats cool that families are getting slaughtered no biggie! he only cared when it personally affected him which is…. disgusting. like hes morally BAD. 

like contrast that to regulus who joined the death eaters around the same age as snape because of familial pressure but then when he got in and like saw what was going on and what they were doing he was like “this is fucked up i cant do this” and sabotaged voldemort. snape had no such conscience lol. 

and lets say youre willing to overlook all of that (which, if thats the case… um…. how…) but for arguments sake lets say you are. /why/ is snape so mean to harry???????????????? because he looks like james???? thats a reason i gUess but not an excuse like. he bullies a child for YEARS because harry looks like his teenage rival?? oh my goD snape is such a huge baby i cant even desCRIBE. 

and /why/ is he so mean to NEVILLE???? WHAT DID NEVILLE EVER DO TO HIM?? ? ? hes neville’s /worst fear/ !!!!!!!!!!!!! and hes HORRIBLE to hermione like HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its completely inexcusable…. he gets lupin FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LUPIN WHO STRUGGLES TO HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR FOOD BECAUSE HES A WEREWOLF OH MY GOD I HATE SNAPE SO MUCH. I HATE HIM. I HAAAATEEEE HIM.

tl;dr: snape is a giant man baby who joined a genocidal terrorist organization of his own volition and then only switched sides when it personally affected him and then even when he was “”good””” he continued to act like a total asshole.  

[taeyeonwtf]

ayyyyy its ur local soft™ lush worker luna here to bring u yet another sad and soft muse bc i love suffering :)))) taeyeon is a rework of one of the first muses i ever had. i found her old blog recently and missed her so much so i decided to rework her a bit a bring her to seoul bc i want to play her and i thought she would mesh really well here!! anyway im sure ur dying to meet her so lets do this!! also if u wanna plot give this a like or message me on discord luna#3097

tae is the daughter of a powerful business couple. her father owns a famous talent agency and her mother is a talent scout

bc of her parents jobs, they were rarely around but she didn’t mind much because she had her older brother to take care of her. she loved her brother very much and did everything to make sure his attention was always on her, even if that meant being a brat some times. (she just wanted attention and love because her parents weren’t providing that so she subbed her brothers affection for that) 

this worked out just fine until he left for university in new york when she was sixteen. her world completely crumbled around her and she didn’t know what to do. her brother was gone and she felt so lost. 

this lead to her spiralling out of control. she began hanging out with the wrong crowd and partying way too much. she also found herself in the beds of random people almost every night, trying to feel the affection she was so desperately missing. of course she never found it but she kept repeating the cycle in hopes of finding someone to love her. 

about a year laster, still partying and sleeping around, tae woke up one morning sick to her stomach. at first she thought it was just a bad hangover after a night of partying or a stomach bug but as the day progressed she realized that wasn’t it. she had come to the realization that she could be pregnant. her period was late, the sudden morning sickness and the sensitivity to random smells that never bothered her before. she felt her blood run cold as she rushed to the local pharmacy to buy a few tests.  once she was back home she took each and everyone of them, hoping they’d tell her she wasn’t pregnant. sadly, that didn’t happen. every test had the same answer, positive. 

her first impulse after seeing the results was to hop on the first plane heading to new york and going right to her brother. he’s always taken care of her and protected her so of course that’s the first person she’d want to go see. after a long flight, she found herself at his doorstep, breaking down the moment he opened the door. all of her held in emotions came flooding out as he led her into his penthouse. once she calmed down a few hours later, she told him what happened and how everything had been a giant mess since he left. he sat quietly listening to her before interrupting her and telling her she could stay with him and he could help her through this.

the next eight months were hard on her. the two had come to the decision of not telling their parents about their soon to be grandchild because if they knew, they’d cut tae off completely which was a bunch of unneeded stress for the both of them. 

at first the plan was to give up the baby and just not tell anyone about it but after she held her tiny baby girl, she couldn’t do it. she decided to keep the baby, even if that meant getting cut off by her parents completely. she loved her baby far too much to give it up. 

just like she thought, her parents were extremely upset and cut her off completely and refused to speak to her unless the baby was out of the picture. she was heartbroken but her real family was more important than money and artificial love.

she stayed with her brother until she was nineteen, relying on him to help her until she graduated and saved enough money to move out on her own. at first she planned on staying here in america with her brother but she couldn’t help but feel like she missed seoul. she found herself called back there for some reason and ended up packing her things and getting on the next plane back home with her daughter. 

it was a hard decision to make but it just felt right coming back to seoul and starting her new life here. she was ready to face her parents and deal with whatever comes next. 

connections:

old fwb: back when tae was still in seoul, the two used to hook up constantly. it was the perfect arrangement for the both of them, tae got the affection she craved and muse b was guaranteed to get laid whenever they wanted. when tae left, she didn’t tell them anything but now that she’s back with a child in tow, how will muse b react? maybe the two will go back to their old ways, after all, old habits die hard. (open to m/f/nb)

the ex-bad influence: muse b is the one who dragged tae to her first party and introduced her to all of her old bad habits. it wasn’t the healthiest of relationships but they both had so much fun. now that tae’s back, will tae fall back into her bad habits or has she changed enough to not fall back into muse b’s ways?

the mystery: every week muse b comes in and buys a single flower but never the same kind. tae never asks why but she is so damn curious. she just smiles and explains the meaning behind every flower for muse b until they decide which one to go with. tae is slowly cracking and is dying to know who the flower is for. will tae crack and ask or will she keep waiting in suspense for muse b to tell her?

tl;dr: local rich kid taeyeon falls apart after her brother moves and turns to partying and sleeping around to fill her constant need for love and affection. she gets pregnant and goes to her big brother where she stays with him for the next couple years to get her shit together and raise her baby girl. when she turns ninteen she decides to move back to seoul, ready to face her parents after they basically disown her and ready to start her new life with or without them. 

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas: Power Transfer

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: 

One for all is a power that has been passed down for generations. Turns out the most recent generation can afford to be a whole lot more liberal with his sharing. Also turns out sharing quirks runs in the family.

An AU where Izuku can share OFA full cowling with multiple people at once.

shared power ofa,

izuku giving aizawa 5% of one for all durring the usj or izuku giving toshinori 99% of OFA durring the last fight

cause consider the world never finding out about small might, all might retires but izuku knows

the rescue team all having the max amount of ofa they can use, which is around 2% each, cause a lil sparking team of heroes

izuku using kirishima to give bakugo some too n them using it to get away

izuku having two quirks is my favourite goddamn thing bc him being able to share his quirk but not having anything to share is great

he gives bits to allmight, like a constant 1% so he can teach classes and do press stuff

some rando wants to do an "all might" where is he now segment and it spans a good few months so izuku is continuously in the background just

conspiracy theory starts that izuku is a villain or allmights son

a villain and all might's son

izuku has no double toe joint but the doc cant find any evidence of a quirk? so he tells them izuku is either quirkless or has an invisible quirk. something subtle, or specific enough to have not activated by now

bakugo kinda,, is chill with izuku. he was waiting for izuku to develop a quirk till he judged him, but he never did so he kinda withheld judgement long enough for them to become decent friends

anyway, izuku likes to ramble about different things his quirk could technically be, bakugo likes to join in. they can go at this for h o u r s cackling about stupid hypotheticals

they workout together, they both do boxing and try out random moves they see on the internet on each other. they have a pile of gym mats in the woods like the weirdos they are

bakugo is like,, convinced izuku's quirk is actually an intellect up but he just shrugs

izuku has to grab something before he heads home so he takes the underpass and we get basically episode 1 from there. all might says no, the villain gets away, attacks Bakugo. izuku runs in, throws dust in the villain's eyes and pulls at bakugo's hands. all might jumps in, saves the day yada yada

some background for u about all might bc his past is a touch different here. during the battle with afo, afo was distracted. all might sustained the same injures but won more easily.

night eye never looks into his future because "my purpose is done, nighteye. let's live like everyone else, no fate of the world on our shoulders" he never looks into all mights future again at his request

they stay together

so instead of the big argument they go get ramen and get drunk because they don't have to be superhuman anymore, they can relax now

back to the main timeline-

so izuku is already fit, cleans the beach in 8 months, nighteye supervises

all might gives izuku the quirk 2 months before the entrance exam, nighteye is there to "oversee" (he wants to see izuku choke on a hair and laugh at this kid hes become pretty fond of)

also mirio! is izuku's bro because i love he

izuku eats the hair and gets the quirk like, instantly which?? is confusing nighteye and all might. nighteye has like,,, hidden behind a car because hes the only person with self-preservation

allmight touches izuku and the lightning climbs up his arm and he just pOofs out into swolmight. hes ShooK, so is izuku

anyway, he manages to turn it off and izuku is just standing there like "oh my god what the fuck"

"izuku,, what,, happened there"

",,,, one for all??? leaked out??? into allmight????"

...

"nighteye come over here."

"izukU nO"

"STAND STILL NIGHTEYE I JUST NEED TO TRY SOMETHING"

nighteye is forcibly given a little of ofa and regrets a lot of stuff

anyway, izuku breaks an arm trying to use ofa and hes muttering trying to work out how to use it, nighteye basically says "well, think back to how ofa came about" and izuku is like ",,, what"

and nighteye screams because TOSHI YOU DIDNT TELL HIM?????? and allmight ",,, o o p s"

so izuku gets to hear the story of all for one while hes being driven to UA for recovery girl hes,,, really quiet for a second

"when did you fight him?"

"six years ago, april?"

",,, this has to be a coincidence"

hisashi went out on a "business trip" 6 years ago and they haven't seen him since. he calls, but hes never visited and izuku has this terrible feeling

because izuku cant calm down and because nighteye thinks this kid might be on to something they call tsukauchi and he agrees to meet them at UA

izuku gets treated, naomasa is in v quickly afterwards before he calls his dad he turns to nighteye, allmight and Naomasa

"i've never been able to lie to my dad. i thought he was just really good at reading me but,,"

"if hes afo he might have a quirk"

"yeah. so i'll just twist the truth. im good at that, but thats all i'll be able to do"

anyway, he calls up his dad and slaps this big grin on his face. the phone is on speaker

"hey dad!!!!" "izuku! is something wrong?"

"oi, cant i call my dad for no reason?"

"you, willingly calling someone? dont make me laugh"

izuku giggles despite himself

"anyway, you'll never guess!!"

"did youuuu,,,, hmmmm, meet all might?"

they freeze but izuku just laughs

"yeah,, but thats not the most exciting thing!!! my quirk came in finally"

"oh?"

"yeah! imagine the worlds most basic power enhancer, but i can share the energy! you have any idea where that could have come from?"

"no! i can't think of anyone in our family with a quirk like that! sounds crazy!"

naomasa looks grin, and mouths "liar"

izuku pales but keeps his smile

"do you think you could visit, id love to show you!! oh, maybe we could test it together! you always had the best ideas for my quirk notes"

"id love to izuku, but im stuck in america for the near future, you know it is. i'll see what i can do tho, ok champ?"

naomasa shakes his head again "lying" izuku looks like hes going to be sick. nighteye is pale, all might looks stunned. izuku grits his teeth but his voice is still light and happy

"i'm gonna make it into UA so you can watch me kick butt from america! you better cheer me on!"

"im looking forward to it. say hi to your mother from me."

naomasa nods. hes telling the truth. that makes nighteye feel the sickest

"love you izuku"

",,, love you too dad"

izuku hangs up the phone and retches into the bin. nighteye is shaking. all might storms out. naomasa punches the wall

izuku looks up with tears in his eyes

",,, does my mum know?"

nighteye wants to cry

"i dont know kid"

izuku tells katuski that his quirk finally came in! but,,, in the worlds biggest mess of a way

basically hes lying in bed, trying to work out why he can't use it without breaking bones but the people he shares it with can, he bolts upright

"POWER MODULATION OH MY GOD"

he runs out his door all the way to bakugos house and climbs in through his window, grabbing a sleeping bakugo by the shoulders

"KACCHAN ITS POWER MODULATION"

"IZuKU whAt tHE fuCK"

"my quirk!!! i was breaking bones because i wasnt modulating it!!!"

",,,,q QUiRK/???/?"

",,,, oh yeah oops"

mitsuki runs in with a frying pan ready to murder a villain but its just izuku

"carry on"

izuku doesnt tell him its ofa but he explains his quirk has finally showed up, bakugo asks him if hes registered it yet

",,,noooooo"

"wait what? you, breaking the law? mister "i cant kill an ant because all might himself will call me a villain""

izuku, w the most shit-eating grin, explains that you only legaly have to register your quirk when it shows up, or after you are tested when you are five, whichever happens first so, legally, he doesnt need to register because it would be seen as voluntary updating

cut to the enterance exam

aizawa is holding the papers for the kids hes observing right then

"quirkless? that kid doesn't look quirkless"

and yagi sighs

"of course he didnt,,,"

"all might? do you know him?"

"NO NO IDEA WHO MID- THAT YOUNG CHILD IS"

",,,, r i g h t"

“aizawa listen i have never seen young midoriya in my life ever”

basically, izuku is hiding the "transfer" part of his power from most people bc hes stubborn and thinks it could be useful

also,,, in this au shinso makes it in on hero points thanks

bakugo is about to rush the 0 pointer but shinso can see its going to fall on him shinsou yells

"HEY FUCK FACE"

"HA-"

"MOVE MOVE MOVE GET OVER HERE BEFORE YOU FUCKING DIE OH MY GOD MOVE I DONT WANT TO SEE SOMEONE DIE TODAY"

shinsou and bakugou are the type of friends that flat out have no love for each other but would punch anyone who says anything bad abt the other. like shinsou walks into school and bakugou s just

“dammit i thought u fucking died smh”

“i wish i did then i wouldn’t have to look at ur ugly ass”

in this au shinso and izuku bond when they are standing outside they door bc izuku looks like hes gonna fucking cry hes so scared and shinsou is like "wow big mood"

shinso is not shinson in this au! bc izuku is gonna do a soft

basically, quirk test? shinsou is s w e a t i n g bakugo looks a little worried for his new friend but no one would notice if they weren’t izuku

shinsou turns to him like "my quirk is mental im going to fa I L"

izuku grabs his hand and he feels this rush of energy, you can almost see it dancing along his skin. izuku grins

"i think you'll find you do just fine"

(izuku gave him like,, less than a full 1% but hes like doubled in strength and speed and hes??? shook?? bc whats happening)

aizawa is lost bc shinso has a mental quirk he shouldnt be doing this well, so he tries to cancel it

nothing happens and aizawa is so lost??? bc shinsou is kinda reedy and not super fit but hes placing solidly in the middle

and he noticing that shinso’s eyes seem to be glowing and so are they eyes of the kid coming in second and gives a big "hm,mmmm"

anyway, ball pitch, he cancels izukus quirk and turns to look at shinso, his eyes are dim. izuku looks sheepish but also like hes ready to throw down and its an interesting look

aizawa just sighs "you know what? just throw the ball."

izuku g r i n s and yeets it into next year using more of his quirk than he like,, really should have? to prove a point (his finger is bruised, not broken. he used 25%)

anyway aizawa shows the results, shinso is in the middle, izuku second, hagakure is last and sadly shes not getting expelled bc plot reasons – im sorry I have a thing against her shes perfectly valid probably im just still convinced shes the traitor even tho its totally a teacher

he calls izuku out on it but does admit he didnt say you couldnt help eachother, so its kind on him. shinso looks like hes going to pass out with relief

Hagekure is the traitor in this au though, 100%

during the camp she is at the pick up zone, hiding. izuku pulls bakugo out of the way, they all seem safe

but

she pushes izuku in through the portal as it closes

fyi afo takes her quirk and leaves her braindead in the nomu factory bc shes not useful anymore. also because now he needs to have a really awkward conversation with his son he was hoping to avoid

also usj? is really melodramatic

he gives aizawa 4% which is the max nighteye could hold without it hurting

aizawa takes a hit from the nomu and he reaches out his hand

izuku cries as he gives him an extra 4% and aizawa gets free but he can see bruises forming with every step his teacher takes

[angrybelieverconnoisseur-blog]

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I'm doing a project for school and what would an average price be for 2 people with just a regular car, like a honda or something, nothing fancy, for auto insurance. and for 2 healthy people for life insurance and health? i've website but you have to give all this info for a quote, but i'm just looking for an average froma ny companies.""

Would it cost any extra to put another car on insurance policy?

I was just added to my family's car insurance policy, and was just browsing used cars. If I were to give the person in the policy enough money to buy a car, would it cost them anything extra to put that car on their insurance? They have two vehicles on the insurance currently.""

Why do insurance companies pay out low payments?

i was expecting a good amount from my fathers life insurance after all he's been paying into their policy for almost 40 yrs. but i get a letter that after paying the funeral home, i will only get 89.00""

In a california DUI license suspension how do i get my license back?

its been a year that got a DUI in California and got my license suspended, and im just wondering how do i get my license back? do i just show up to DMV? i never got sent to court so by law the case gets dismissed after a year. so how do i go about getting my license back. ANSWER FAST!! :D""

""Car title, insurance, different names?""

Can the title of your car and the insurance be in different names, or do they have to be in the same name??""

What is the best car insurance?

I need to get insurance on my new car but don't know what company is the best insurance to get it from. I need full coverage as the car is being financed not owned yet. I currently have Geico but I think their rates are too high, but they are a pretty good insurance from what I hear. What do you have? Do you like them?""

""To obtain my permit in the state of California, do I need to have my parents get insurance for me?

Or when I apply do I have to show proof that my PARENTS have insurance?

I need cheap car insurance?

I need cheap car insurance?

About how much will car insurance increase after wrecking a car?

Im 19 years old

What is the cheapest car insurer for a 17 year old WITHOUT a black box?

What is the cheapest insurance company without a black box or device to monitor you're driving for a 17 year old...?

Is it cheaper to insure a car if its yellow?

Is it cheaper to insure a car if its yellow?

Car Insurance - help me please people :(?

Ok so I have my driving test tomorrow and if i pass, i wont be able to get insurance for my car because i dont have enough money for it yearly, and I heard that if you pay insurance monthly, you have to pay a large amount of money before hand? I asked my nan to borrow some money but the money wouldn't have cleared on time so I was wondering is there an alternative for me being able to pay it the next month or something? because i know for MOT you can have up to a month to pay for it so i was wondering if it can be the same for paying car insurance? thanks for ur help in advance""

I want the cheapest Liability only Insurance possible for my car. Which company should I go to?

I am based in MN, if it depends on the state.""

Anyone know of cheap health insurance for college athletes?

My university requires over $1800 for health insurance (the plan that provides enough coverage for athletes) and I don't have that much money right now. Any one know of any cheap alternatives? I've looked at some healthcare plans but they seem to cost much more than 1800 dollars and that's for only around 7-8 months of coverage. Thanks!

Is AETNA a good health insurance to get?

my benefits package came from work, it offers medical from Aetna is that a good health insurance provider? What about Guardian Plan ppo for Dental??""

Can i cancel my car insurance due to changes made in their policy that has skyrocketed my insurance rate?

Just got a package from my insurance company of my new payment schedule for the next 12 mths. Somebody please tell me why i went from paying $249 to $360 a month for car insurance? Sounds absurd ! There is no way in hell im paying for that . . . my questions is, if this is in fact true, can i drop my insurance company at any point in time because the price went up WAY TOO HIGH (i will no longer be able to afford) ? PLEASE HELP!!!!""

What Is The CheapesT Car Insurance For Young Drivers ? In Ireland?

What Is The Company And Website, For 18/19/20 Year Old Drivers, Drving A Seat Ibiza 1Litre

Saw a ins Discount for driving less than 40 miles a day?

Saw an insurance discount for driving less than 40 miles per day to work

Hayden Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 81639

Hayden Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 81639

Lease- car insurance rate?

What is the ball park range of car insurance for an 17 year old girl leasing an Acura TL? say 2004?

Health Care Insurance Costs are soo high!?

My wife is 28 years old, I'm 29 and non of our employers offer health insurance benefits. We're forced to pay for our own at $300 a month! That's $3,600 a year... it's too much for us considering we only visit the doctor once a year. I'm tempted to discontinue it but then again its tough not to have any health insurance at all. Any suggestions???""

How can health insurance be denied when you have had continuous coverage for 7 years straight?

I am currently on COBRA insurance paying $472.00 a month. I have been trying to find an individual plan on my own and have been denied twice for pre-exisitng condtions. How can I have pre-existing conditions when I have health care for 7 years with lapse in coverage. THE HIPPA law states that if you have had continuous coverage for at least 12 months without a 63 day break in coverage, then the pre -existing limitations wouldn't apply. I feel like I'm being black balled. Who do i need to speak to? The health insurance companies don't even want to talk about the HIPAA laws.""

Anyone have advice on what affordable health insurance company I should choose?

I don't want a deductable. And I want it to cover everything if I'm hospitalized.

Can I get a dealer service department to cash out a check that was written from my insurance company?

I know I can get a repair done cheaper elsewhere. But my insurance company has already left a check at the dealer that is made out to me and the dealer so I have to sign it over to them. The dealer will not have the part in until Tuesday. So can I go to the dealer and just take the part and ask them to cash out the labor to me and I will go elsewhere for the actual repair?

What is the cheapest car insurance you can get for young drivers?

What is the cheapest car insurance you can get for young drivers?

Who has the best and cheapest auto insurance?

In southern California

What insurance company will give me the cheapest full coverage policy on a sportbike?

I'm 23, I have one year of riding experience, and i have no traffic convictions. I'm looking to go no higher than a 600. I live in an apartment, and I will have a lojack installed. I can't seem to find a policy for less than 3,000 bucks a year.""

How much life insurance should we get?

My husband and I both work; our income split is about 60/40, he being the higher paid. We will both turn 50 within the next year. No children living at home. No substantial debt: Car loan: $185 monthly Student loan: $102 monthly Mortgage: $2,000 monthly No other debt. We never carry a credit card balance. We have about 3 months worth of savings in the bank. Should I base our life insurance on how much we make, how much we have in debt or both? We are living paycheck to paycheck, and if either one of us were to die suddenly, the other would only have a few months to sell the house before we could no longer make the payments. In this market, I don't think that's realistic. I was thinking that we would need enough to pay for a funeral, pay off the smaller two loans, and still have enough to live on for at least a year if the house doesn't sell. Does that sound right? Or should we not worry about paying off the loans...just calculate enough to replace the other's income for XX many months? If so, how many months should we plan for? Finally, at what rate is life insurance taxed? Is it added to your income and then taxed at the rate for your total income for the year? or is there a flat rate tax? (I think I know the answer to this one, but I want to make sure).""

I'm trying to make a car insurance for eu driving license?

Hi, everytime when I make a quote on e.g. (comparethemarket.com or moneysupermarket.com) I get a car insurance around 7000 ponds. Is there any way how I can get cheaper insurance? I'm in UK.""

Car insurance?

my husband has just been sent a letter saying he has been done for doing 38 in a 30mph limit and has encured 60 fine and 3 penalty points. what is the situation regarding his car insurance . does he have to inform them about it? i think he should but my sister says you dont have to.

Insurance school in noth california?

Insurance school in noth california?

Homeowner's and Auto Insurance?

We've been with Allstate for home and auto insurance for over 30 years, and they have recently starting screwing with us about renewing out Homeowner's insurance. We're pretty sure they are nitpicking about things because they are not writing new policies for Californians, but are keeping existing customers for now. Anyway, I went to the Auto Club this morning and got quotes from them for Home and Auto Insurance and their prices are much better than Allstate's. What I want to know is anyone's experience with AAA insurance. Are they a good company to insure with, any problems, etc? Thank you for any information you can provide.""

Sports car insurance... Wil it be cheaper if...?

Well im 18 years old and still live with my rentz. I have a job and i make 1400-1600$ a month. I have only a few minor bills. Here in about 3 weeks im buying a 1996 pontiac firebird v6 coupe from a dealership. Before i buy the car i need some insurance info. Iv been to over 10 of the leading insurance companies and gotten rate quotes and there all 400$+ a month.. This is suprising because i only payed 120$ a month for my old car ( f150). So im wondering if my insurance will go down if my parents add me and my car to there insurance? If so how would i go about this? And how much of a price difference would it be? All answers are appriciated.. **No Spam Please**

Does your license get suspended for not paying insurance?

Does your license get suspended for not paying insurance?

What does 20/40/15 mean on auto insurance?

What does 20/40/15 mean on auto insurance?

How to find the cheapest car insurance company?

Is anyone know the best way and cheapest way to insure the car thanks?

Why do people keep comparing health insurance to car insurance?

Liberals justify a Federal Mandate to carry health insurance by comparing it to govt. mandates on car insurance. The Government cannot force anyone to purchase anything. Driving is a choice , and if you choose to drive you understand that you need to purchase insurance. Living is not a choice!!!! Does anyone agree?""

Can you have car insurance without owning a car?

my 20 year old is in another state going to college, can he get car insurance on his brother's car?""

Recommend me a cheap car to buy and insure?

I've just passed my driving test and all I'm wanting to drive is a runabout for a year just to get me started. Wanted one for below 1000 and cheap insurance is needed. What do you guys recommend?

What is the best health insurance to cover pregnancy and birth?

I am moving to Florida, miami actually and Im looking for an affordable insurance that is different from medicaid........thanks""

Car insurance...under 25?

who provides the cheapest car insurance for a lad age 21 in the UK

Best car years for insurance?

My daughter will be buying a used car outright because we can't afford a car payment and insurance, plus she is 23 and had a fender bender 18 months ago so her insurance is not exactly low. What I'm wondering is if you have advice for the best years for a used car as far as insurance rates go ... you know, what years are likely to give us the best rates Also, if you have any advice about the best types of used cars to keep rates low, and the best used cars period, any input like that would be greatly appreciated. We bought a used 2003 jetta, but the transmission is self-contained, or, that is, we have to take it in to have the transmission fluid replaced. Things like that about which we weren't aware before we bought it have made it not very practical for us. Thanking in advance for any help you can give!""

Who's car insurance pays for an accident?

I lent my grandson my car one day while his car was in the shop and he had an accident. Who's insurance covers it

""I'm going to be 18 when i get my car, and i was wondering how much car insurance usually costs in general?""

I always hear car insurance is like $800-$1000 for a new teenager in a sports car, but is that per month or per year? And if its per month, is there a way you can drive without insurance? or is that completely illegal...? 'cause that much a month would be f***ing ridiculous for a teenager going to college and working part time...""

Hayden Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 81639

Hayden Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 81639

Does State Farm homeowners insurace typically cover foundation damage?

I have a big water leak in the basement. Water is leaking from between the flooring and the walls. The house is about 75 years old. Do homeowners policies usually cover fondation damage? I can't find my policy to look. I'd like to have a general knowlegde before I call them during the work week. Thanks!

Is it legal for an insurance company to have a totaled car repaired and give it back to the owner?

The car was already determined to be totaled by the insurance company because the cost to repair the car exceeded 70% of the fair value of the car but not the total fair value. Instead of giving us the fair value, however, the insurance company decided to have the car repaired and give it back to us because it still cost the insurance company less money. Now it is apparent that car does not function as well as before.""

Where can i get cheap car insurance?

im driving a six years old Saab aero convertible.and on red 'p' and im 26yrs old.i was told i have to pay near $5000 a year .is there any other way to get around it?

How do you get flood insurance from the NFIP?

I already live in a community that enforces the floodplain management ordinances, but how do I get the insurance?""

Car got broken into... How much will insurance cover?

So my buddy calls me in the morning of the last day of school (I decided not to go and sleep in). He needs to borrow my jumper cables for my friend. He comes over, and we head over to my car to get the cables. I open the trunk, and my subwoofer isn't in my car any more... Head over to the passenger side and see that the window was smashed in, they stole my mp3 player and broke the recliner for the passenger side chair... Right in front of my house. I'm wondering how much will get covered by insurance... We have Progressive. I'm wondering if a. They'll cover the price of the sub, mp3 player, and cost to get the recliner fixed (sub and mp3 cost a total of $200-$250). idk about the recliner, maybe $60. I know they'll cover the cost of the broken window ($200, already dropped it off to get fixed), but my dad (owner and insurance payer of the car) is wondering if the increase in rates will be worth saving the $200 in window repair. Thanks. Make sure to take your valuables out of your cars at night or in a sketchy area, guys.""

How to get low car insurance? ?

Hi I'm 18, and just reasantly passed my test about 4months ago. And think a 1.0 vaxhaull corsa is the cheapest and best first car that I can afford! Now, I was just wondering what is the cheapest car insurer? Is there any techniques or tips on getting cheap car insurance? Can anyone help?!""

Do insurance rates go up when you break off a side mirror?

backing out of the driveway, I broke off my side mirror, the car is fine but the mirror cracked off, surprisingly the mirror itself didn't break nor was the exterior scratched.. it just cracked off. Anyway, do you know how much it will cost to replace and if my insurance rate will go up? thanks..""

My insurance company doesnt want to pay!!?

I was struck by an uninsured driver on 02-10-11. Because the driver who struck me was uninsured I was forced to file a claim with my insurance company(Omni Insurance). The car was towed to CJ's collision at 6128 n beechwood Philadelphia, pa ,19138 on 02-11-11. Phone number 215-848-2836. On 02-14-11 Omni insurance sent out an appraiser to evaluate the vehicle. They then faxed an estimate on 02-15-11 totaling $5300 to CJ's collision shop. I went to the collision shop on 02-15-11 to sign paperwork giving them permission to work on my car. They then began the repairs. On 02-18-11 the insurance company then deemed my car a total loss. The vehicle is a 2005 Nissan Altima SL with 96,477 miles. The NADA value for the vehicle is 10,995. According to Omni insurance a car is deemed a total loss when the repairs reach 70% of the value of the vehicle. Omni insurance valued my car at 7,415. They then proposed a settlement offer of 5826.40. They deducted 975.00 in prior damages(which I disagree with) and 1000.00 my deductible. The settlement offer included 386.40 in sales tax. After negotiating on 02-28-11 they proposed an offer of 7835.30. The value they gave my car was 9255. Again 975.00 was deducted and my 1000.00 deductible. They including sales tax and tags/registration fee in the offer. I accepted the offer out of desperation because they also stopped paying for the rental car I was driving on 02-28-11. I work, attend school and have a child my schedule requires that I have a car so I paid out of pocket for a rental car until 03-07-11, expecting the payment to be issued to my lien holder by then so I could purchase another car. I contacted them on 03-07-11 inquiring about my payment and was informed they did not pick the vehicle up from the collision shop therefore they were not issuing a payment. The collision shop gave them a bill of 1750.00 for the repairs they did and the storage fees. The insurance company disagrees with this and refuses to pick the vehicle up and issue my payment. They have also stated this may come out of my settlement offer. The insurance company already has the title to the car and all the necessary paperwork to the vehicle but refuses to issue a payment. It has been a month since I filed my claim and I can no longer afford to pay for a rental especially since it seems I will have to purchase a new vehicle. The insurance company is low balling me and also forcing me to pay for repairs they approved then backed out of.""

Pay car insurance if I'm going to be out of the country?

Hello, My car insurance is going to expire in 4 days and I was wondering If I should simply not pay it. I'm going out of the country for 1 month and will not be driving my car. I don't think that Progressive will let me push back my payments. Would it be cheaper or easier for me to just simply not pay, and get insurance when I return? I pay 5 installments of $50. If they charge a fee or something less than $50 it seems like I should not renew my policy. I've been on hold for a long time on the phone, and want a game plan when I finally talk to someone. Thanks for any advice!""

About how much will my insurance go up after my wreck?

The wreck was my fault, not much damage to my car, still runs perfectly, but the person that I ran into the rear bumper is hanging off like 6 inches but its just the bumper, it still runs and everything. How much do you think my insurance should go up, I have been insured under my dads name through Gieco for 3 years and this is my first accident. Its just the basic liability also I believe. I have absolutely no idea so any estimates would be greatly appreciated. Thanks""

Cheap Car Insurance for my first car?

My dad owns it but hes giving it to me technically he wants me to pay insurance and I want something cheap, the majority of insurances say im underage to be reliable for it. I'm 17, is there a cheap insurance for my little chevorlate cavalier car?""

Whats the average cost of insurance for a 21 year old female?

Whats the average cost of insurance for a 21 year old female?

Need to find cheap but good minibus insurance. Can anyone help?

Need to find cheap but good minibus insurance. Can anyone help?

Insurance for polyp biopsy?

Hi.my aunt is 41 years old. She is really concerned she might have cancer, which I hope it's not. She had no insurance but wants to find one do she could get the necessary test done. She already got one test done that showed she had an hernia in her stomach, but that's not what she is concerned, she is more concerned because they found polyps in her stomach and also neck. Idk if my facts are right,I don't even know if u can get them in your neck.anyway she needs to get them biopsy to see if there malignant or not. What is a good insurance that isn't so expensive andshe can get a quote of. We live in California.and shell just be getting insurance just for herself. Or what can she do to get this procedure done. are all polyps cancerous""

Does insurance cost more on a dodge truck with a hemi?

Versus the base 4.7L. The truck is a 2006 if that makes a difference.

""I only pay car insurance, what should my credit score be?""

I have car insurance in my name (I haven't been late on a payment yet), this is the first and only thing I make payments on. What should my credit score be? Also what are small things I can do to bring it up?""

""Getting a New Car, Insurance question?""

Hey, so i'm going to be getting a 2011 toyota yaris and i was wondering how much the insurance on it would be, i'm 19 years old.""

If your 18 how much do u pay for your car insurance?

If your 18 how much do u pay for your car insurance?

""When you buy a car, what payments do you to pay and how much would insurance be for a 17 yr old?""

When you buy a car, what payments do you to pay and how much would insurance be for a 17 yr old?""

What type of cars would have the highest car insurance payment?

couples? Sport cars? What type of cars have a high car insurance payment? I wanted to get a two door but heard the insurance would be high. Since im young I know it be higher also. What would be best to get?

Low car insurance rate??

hello i'm an 18 year old guy i passed my DMV tests and should be getting my license in the mail anytime I LIVE IN TEXAS. I have a 1999 Ford f-150 Black Truck and since i'll be hitting the mean streets soon, i need insurance of course. i AM trying to find a much cheaper one, if you'll say but keeps me legal but for less. Oh and I am a senior in high school so yes I'll be having an after school job so I guess you can say I don't make much..... please help""

What will have the cheapest insurance payment? 2003 escalade or a 2012 camry hybird?

It will be my first car which one is easier to afford and which one looks better

Individual health insurance?

if i can get health insurance from my employer but can get better and cheaper coverage from as an individual do i have to take coverage from my job

Are insurance companies to blame for high medical cost?

I know there are other factors such as smokers/obese people, lawsuits, and people who don't pay their bills. But i'm wondering if insurance companies are one of the biggest reasons to blame for the ridiculously high cost of medical services and equipment? The reason I wonder is because the prices of medical care are so ridiculously high, but it seems like doctors can simply charge any price they want, no matter how ridiculous, because the insurance company will simply pay it. Unlike if someone was actually paying out of pocket and would actually say your out of your mind for charging that much, you won't get my business . I mean, seriously, even if doctors charged $70 per hour, thats still a high wage for them, and it wouldn't be too unreasonable for an hour of medical work, yet I hear of doctors performing various simple procedures that take like 5-15 minutes and charging hundreds or possibly thousands of dollars. Same thing with medical equipment. It seems any device classified as a piece of medical equipment sells for 10 times what it should reasonably cost to make it. Any level headed person would say they are insane for charging that much. But insurance companies simply pay it, and pass the cost on to the people. Making it so the people are basically getting ripped off through no choice of their own. And making it so people who don't have insurance simply cannot afford to have any care. PS: Another example of medical equipment. Just look at a hoverround wheelchair I've seen the retail price on those be over $9000, just for a middle class one. For a freaking electric wheelchair, that isn't even very great quality since they break down alot. You can purchase a brand new kia or hyundai car for like $7000-$9000. Ridiculous.""

Auto Insurance Rates Increased for NO Reason?

I was in an accident where the other driver was negligent. However, we both have the same insurance company. It's been nearly a year and since I've been receiving the run around from them, I decided to get a lawyer. Once my lawyer contacted them, 2 weeks later my bimonthly bill went up about $15 (over $30/month). Keep in mind, that for nearly a year my rates remained the same but less than 3 weeks after my lawyer contacted them, up the rates went. Is this normal? Is this illegal? Should I inform my lawyer of this shady action?""

Hayden Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 81639

Hayden Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 81639

""My car was stolen and now I'm being investigated for insurance fraud. I'm only 18, help!!?""

My car was stolen on Saturday. I was driving in the car with someone I thought I could trust and when I went inside a subway terminal to meet another friend I left the keys in the car and the person who was in the car with me took off with the car, my phone, my purse, and about $1500 worth of shopping bags and boxed furniture that I had just bought from Ikea. I called the police and they aren't doing much help. I've had to investigate a lot of this myself. The person who took my car doesn't have permanent housing so its been hard to track him down. I found out from the cops he has 4 other warrants out for his arrest for crimes relating to cars. Obviously, I didn't know that when I left him alone with mine. After my dad filed a claim to our insurance company, they said they were going to begin an investigation and sent us a letter saying it was within their rights not to give us any money for the car. They think me and the person who stole the car are working together to get money off of them. Their going to interview me and I'm really scared. The last time I broke the law was when I was five and tried to steal a barbie from Walgreens. I'm only 18 now and I don't even know how insurance or fraud work, never mind insurance fraud. They're going to accuse me. They only thing I'm really guilty of is being stupid/ naive/ gullible. I trusted a person who I should not have trusted. My questions are: 1) How can I track down this person? I sent a messege on Facebook to all of our mutual friends telling them to keep an eye out. 2) How can I move the investigation from the police (who are on my side) along, when they aren't really doing anything? 3) What am I supposed to tell the insurance guy? What should I say? I just want my car back. I feel so helpless, please help.""

""For me, the auto insurance company USAgencies is cheaper than Progressive, Geico, All State, State Farm, ...?""

....Direct, The General, and Safe Auto. Does anyone have an auto insurance company not mentioned above that is cheaper than USAgencies? Do not send my links of places that quote different companies. I want to know from your personal experience.""

For Massachusettes drivers-did anyone else's insurance skyrocket when the new rates came out last month?

with the new credit system my rate went up over $700 and I am not happy!!

Can I get around paying really high price for Car Insurance being only 19yrs old>?

I am 19, dont want to pay high price for car insurance. My friend said I can do this: find a cheap insurance company for my dad/mum to get insured on the the nice car (e.g. BMW) just them, not have me on it aswell, then find the cheapest car to insure with co-op, with me under my mum or dad, altogether it shouldnt be more than 2k and you I can drive the beemer, as long as the beemer is registered in my dad/mums name. Can somebody tell me if this would actually work or not? Please no philosophical answers or opinions on right or wrong or against the law - I dont give a F**k. Just want to know whether this would work or if anybody else has any ideas 10 September at 23:00""

I want a good car like a 1992 - 1997 supra for my first car. How much will the extras cost?

If I do well in my senior year of school, my parents will by me a car! I have done a bit of research, and concluded that i would like something along the lines of a Toyota Supra. I am not too interested in power and racing qualities e.c.t but i love the way it looks. A Toyota Celica also looks looks on the cards. As im on a budget of around $15 000Au (Around $20 000 American) i am looking at one of the 1992-1997 models. I am concerened that this seems too good to be true, and I am going to have to pay for repairs, insurance, fuel (Gas) and rego. I have heard that these cars are reliable but I REALLY don't want to have to pay for large amounts of these extras. So basiclly how much will i probs have to pay for these? If its alot, what other similar cars are there?""

If 2 cars fall into the same insurance group will they cost more or less the same?

regardless of how much fuel they use? I ask because I have been looking at both the Vauxall Corsa and Astra, and both models fall into insurance group 4 but the Astra is a 1.4L and the Corsa a 1.3L (They are diesel versions).""

On average how much does it cost to insure an apartment building?

I am looking into purchasing 2 triplex apartment buildings. They are both brick buildings built in 1990. Both have been maintained fairly well and have a really good price on them. ...show more

Does late payment on car insurance affect credit?

just wondering if a late payment of a bill....say my telephone bill, or car insurance affect my credit?""

Cheap insurance w/a DUI???

Which are the best companies to compare for car insurance w/a DUI on your record???

I have a question about a my car insurance PLEASE HELP ME?

Okay I was in a car accident on May 7th. I was going north towards main street. there was a vehicle in front of me. The vehicle in front of me merge to left as if he was waiting for someone to come outside. He didn't have no signal light or hazards lights on. So I merge to the right pass him so the guy must didn't see me so he hit my right front end bumper, headlight, and door. So I didn't have my insurance in the car so I got a ticket and the other guy had a ticket because he didn't have insurance. On the police report it said he had a left sgnal light to turn in is driveway. Just to remind you that the vehicle doesn't belong to the driver and he had a NY license. My insurance liability told that he couldn't contact the other guy to see if he had insurance and send him letters. So he told he's going to put it's not at fault but I have to pay for a $500 deductible. But WHY?????? if he didn't look at the cars but he's going to basis on paper work. Is that wrong? or should I look into some more??????? HELP ME""

Where to find cheap auto insurance in florida?

We are relocating to port richey florida and I am trying to find a cheap auto insurance company

What is the normal rate for car insurance for drivers between 18 and 25?

Hello i am interested to know how much the average car insurance cost would be for young drivers between 18 and 25 years. can anyone help me please? thank you.

What happens to your insurance once you get married?

I am currently under my parents insurance (I am 21years old), both for car and health/dental. My fianc has no insurance because his family cannot afford it. We are thinking about getting married this summer but want to figure out the details first before we committ to anything. I was wondering, once we get married what happens to my current insurance? Are we going to have to purchase our own insurance? And if so is there any marriage packages that would be pretty low budget? Thanks!""

Need help to find a car with cheap insurance?

Ok so im nearly 17 and i live in the uk so will be taking my driving test soon. I want a car that isnt to expensive to run and cheap insurance as insurance is really high at the moment an the car cant be to expensive either as i dont have a lot of money the most money i would be willing to be pay is about 2500 and cheapest insurance please!

Please suggest cheap health insurance for couples.?

Which insurance company offers the most affordable health plan for couples?

Can i wait till after i pay my speeding ticket to go to traffic school so my insurance wont go up?

I got a speeding ticket last night for driving 80mph on 65mph highway. I have Allstate insurance. I got it in los angeles california. I already went to traffic school this year for failure to signal but its almost been 12 months.

Cheap car insurance companies?

I just turned 17, and im gonna be learning to drive soon, but once I have learnt to drive, I can't afford the insurance""

What type of insurance should I have for my cars?

My husband and I are trying to pay off some debt and we think we're paying too much for auto insurance. What coverage limits should we have? We have a 2001 Ford F250 and a 2000 Ford Excursion that are both paid for. Both have small amounts of body damage, not that noticeable but we know we're there. We will likely only turn in a claim if they get totaled. We've thought about going down to the state minimum but not sure how risky that is. We turned in a hail damage claim last year and had a horrible experience with it. Right now our coverages are: Bodily injury $250k/$500k Property damage $250k Medical Expense $100k Uninsured/Underinsured Injury $250k/$500k Uninsured/Underinsurued Property Damage $100k Right now we pay $543 every six months.""

Does individual health insurance qualify for tax deduction?

I am employed, however i am paying my own personal health insurance instead of opting for the group insurance which my employer has since it worked out to be cheaper than group insurance. Now when i am filing my taxes can i claim medical insurance premium as tax deductible.""

Does my 17 yr.old need car insurance to drive my car?

in connecticut

Where can I find the cheapest auto Insurance in NJ?

I trying to find insurance that is not expensive does anyone know where I can go to get this?

Part-time job enough to pay car insurance?

Would a part-time job at a mall store or movie theatre pay enough to cover an 18-year-olds car insurance? How old are you and how much does your car insurance cost monthly?

Acting career where do i start?? where is safe and affordable places to live in LA?

Hi everyone first let me just say thank you for your time in advance. I want to move to LA and start my acting career but i have never been in LA so i dont exactly know where would be safe to live and also affordable. Also i wanted to ask about acting a lil bit. I have no experience but i Know thats what i want to do since i can remember but i lived in Germany my whole life and the opportunity isn't really big there and now that im moving to the us I thought why now go after my dreams. After all you'll never know unless you try right... I am 27 years old female I am originally from Ethiopia but i grew up in Germany. I speak 4 languages but thats all i have to offer because i dont have any previous acting experience nor i have never went to acting school. So where do I start??? Any suggestions???? Every advice helps thank you so much for your time again.!!!!!

What is a good family health insurance plan?

I am looking for affordable health Insurance for my family. 2 adults and 3 children. My husbands job moves alot so we need something that has national coverage and we are not interested in the health care discount plans. we are looking for a heath Insurance plan with low dr visit copay's and a prescription drug plan. If any one knows of one pls leave me the information. Right now we are in Texas and we have a home address in Tennessee. Thanks

All about Nissan 350z? (Nissan 350z Owners plz)?

Okay, Well I just need to ask a couple question.... I've had my eye at the Nissan 350z for a while.... And I know you have to put premium gas on it in order for it to run smoothly... I just need to know from an owner.... How much do you end up paying... How much was the car? How Much was insurance? Gas? Any other things I should know about it? O.o""

Hayden Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 81639

Hayden Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 81639

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/can-i-insure-drive-car-dont-ownowner-dosent-have-cant-jayden-crosby/"

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : Happy Famlies

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: This AU is exactly what is sounds like. Everyone gets a happy family. 

Feat. Dadmight, and his sons Izuku and Tenko, Big Bro Dabi with his little bro, Shinson and his Dadzawa.

allmight n inko end up dating and tenko n izu are brothers

dabi and tenko are third year ua herocourse students when izu and the others join

tenko is a soft sunshine boy cause izu rubbed off on him a lot

dabi wants to be an underground hero so he'll never be like his father

todoroki takes the entrance exam so inasa and hitoshi are recommendation students

izuku kills the exam because he starts ua being able to use full cowl 5%, breaking allmights record with a whopping 130 points

because consider dabi, shouto, izu, tenko and hitoshi all singing karaoke together, dabi has a tambourine and tenko is violently shaking maracas

izuku and inko dont know toshi is allmight, but tenko and toshi are terrible liars

the first time toshi meets izuku its just tenko presenting him saying "you gotta give it to him dad"

izu is only 5 n still broken up about having no quirk, toshi says he might just be a late bloomer while tenko nods

toshi sneaks izuku his quirk when he turns 7, izuku wakes up n accidentally punches a hole in the ceiling, he n katsuki make up cause izuku has a bomb ass quirk even if it does break his bones

he and inko just think he was a late bloomer cause his quirk was so strong. tenko and toshi highfive

seven year old izuku walking back into his house like mom i broke both my arms again :(((

katsuki actually helps him work out the flick thing

"it breaks my arms!" "then use less you dumb fuck!" "oh yeah actually thank you"

they’re so used to shouting criticisms while sparring that they still do it after they enter ua

when they spar at the sports festival mic can’t get a word of commentary in bc it’s just a constant slew of

“kACCHAN I TOLD U TO STOP LEADING WITH UR RIGHT”

“SHIITY DEKU IF U LAND LIKE THAT UR GONNA BREAK UR LEGS”

dabi n tenko the third years can hear them in their own stadium. tenko is cheering softly, dabi has a heart attack when he sees the walls of ice

izu has a massive handshapped scar on his wrist from when tenko saved him by pulling him out of the way of a car

he doesnt mind it but it makes tenko sad so he wears a lil cuff over it

tenko snuck in to watch the entrance exam he n toshinori are cheering quietly, the other teachers just sigh

izuku broke allmights record for points scored in the entrance exam but hes still scared he failed

tenko wants to s c r e a m

USJ ANGST TIME

starts as normal students enter, villains arrive kurogiri has an ear piece and is talking with afo directly, some of the 8 prefects goons are there too

hitoshi used his quirk on kurogiri to find out who they are, but is targeted after that and the villains know not to respond

the students are scattered, its izu/tsuyu and hitoshi. they do the whirlpool thing w/o the sitcking, hitoshi instructs them to tread water and not to move

hitoshi is nearing quirk overuse, tsuyu is shaken, izu is pretty much ok

aizawa is fighting the villains as normal, the nomu arrives

hitoshi tries to mind control the nomu, kurogiri attempts to direct one of the nomus punches to hitoshi, aizawa cancels the portal, severing one of the nomus arms. its grows back, aizawa is beaten

izuku charges forward, fighting the nomu with a higher percentage of full cowl than he can safely use but they are evenly matched

todoroki shows up, cant help because the two are moving so fast he cant aim his quirk and not hit mido

he and hitoshi keep kurogiri busy

before allmight arrives, dabi and tenko do, after seeing tenya running towards the school

izuku can barely move, over using his quirk to the point that he has countless micro fractures and the nomu has landed a few punches, and he took others to protect aizawa

tenko yells at dabi to grab izuku, kurogiri mentions that his master killed tenkos family and hes pissed

he cant stand up to the nomu but shouto makes an opening and he and dabi try to damage it as best they can, shouto has to hold izuku down to stop him from joining the fight again

allmight arrives, quickly dispatches the nomu, turns on Kurogiri

so tenko, allmight and a shaky izu are all facing down kurogiri while afo is trying to convince him to keep fighting

reinforcements arrive and kuro nopes out

as soon as the portal closes, izuku collapses and tenko n allmight rush over, shouto is grabbing onto dabi and hitoshi is trying to get aizawa to respond

hitoshi, crying, has to ask dabi to pick up his dad because his arms are shaking to bad hes scared he might drop him

tenko has no gloves anymore and he cant touch izuku and hes just lost, shouto wraps an arm around him and hitoshi n they cry as dabi takes aizawa and allmight takes izuku to recovery girl

aizawa n izu in the same hospital, hitoshi tells him what izuku did n aizawa fucking, breaks out of bed like a jackass to call him a problem child then fucking limps back

less depressingly, happy families dabi and tenko do "get help" from Thor Ragnarok

"gET heLP hEs BUrnINg UP"

aizawa : "kids that movie is like 240 years old"

izuku : "so... you know it then?"

aizawa: "fuck"

nighteye and gran torino are izuku and tenko's terrible uncles

he stars school at 5%, internships is 10%, camp gets him up to 15% so hes around 25% at the eri rescue

ochako being a terrible influence on kirishima

“uraraka i like katsuki. what do”

“push it down”

“what”

“pUSH UR FEELINGS Down”

also happy families shouto actually interns w nighteye n izu because dabi said he was an ass so no death thanks

one person asks izuku what his quirk is

he pauses

"aaaaaaaaaa"

"hm"

"my mum has minor levitation and my dad is quirkless"

izuku pauses again.

"wait"

"wait im not toshis biologically"

"waiT Who WAs My FirST Dad?"

shouto thinks inko has an affair w allmight then married his secretary but izuku met toshinori through tenko so he just lays down on the floor and screams

shouto’s brain is going to explode one day

consider tenko and izuku looking soft and pure but you turn around and suddenly you dont have a wallet and your food is gone

happy family izuku and kastuki were eachothers first kiss but in a dumb ass way

izuku was like "i need to ruin my frist kiss so the next one will be better"

"wow me too, you seem like the worlds worst option!"

"cool!"

they both almost gagged afterwards

tenko walked in on them violently scrubbing their lips

“wow katsuki who was ur first kiss”

bakugou stares off fondly into the distance

“deku :))”

"it was fucking terrible" wistful sigh

izuku, blushing happily: “id never do it again”

izuku: "yeah i scrubbed my face until it bleed so none of my skin would be tainted"

first week of 1a, someone asking izuku if he and katsuki are/were dating so izuku asks ochako to launch him into the sun

no matter how many people they date everyone always insists that katsuki and izuku are dating each other

izuku is actually dating shouto but no one believes him for some reason

dabi and hitoshi find it so funny

please consider dabi being the frontrunner of these rumours, like these random first years will come up to izuku while he’s eating lunch with shouto and they’ll be in t e a r s

“wHY ARE YOU CHEATING ON BAKUGOU SENPAI?”

izuku starts crying

shouto, totally deadpan: "i thought our love was real, izu-chan"

izuku wheezes

they have a katsudeku fan club and shouto’s the mascot

dabi is in it. hes a full hero at this point but nezu gave him a pass so he could attend

they have weekly meetings

it’s dabi, shouto, kirishima and like twenty first year girls from every class

shouto, in a deadpan voice: “good morning girls today i saw katsuki and izuku sharing bread. discuss”

kirishima is one of the most popular fanartists

tenko loves the meme but looking at his brother and bakugo “dating” makes him deeply upset so he breaks in to decay all the art on the walls once a week

he crowds shouto in tears one day

“how are you okay with your boyfriend and your classmate being the subjects of such horrid art”

shouto, deadpan: “it’s just a prank bro”

izuku falls asleep in the common room and toshi carries him back to his room and has to call tenko to unlock the door for him. tenko was in his own dorm on the other side of school.

he sprinted

iida the good boy finishes his essays the week before and hands them in a day early

izuku, the hot mess, procrastinates by training until he cant feel his arms and doing any other subject work than the stuff due, stays up till 4am to finish his essay and doesnt go back to sleep cause its time for his morning run

they get the same grades

no one knows izuku is a hot mess

Dabi is like izuku but he doesnt study hes just depressed

Tenko finishes his the day before but he gets izuku to read it over

shouto does his essays in class

aizawa wants to be mad but he remembers him mic n tensei distracting the teachers for as long as they can to violently finish their essays

“katsuki why didn’t you finish your essay”

“i was making oreos from scratch sensei”

"fair, give me some and you can hand in it wednesday"

he bribes every single teacher into giving him extensions and no one can refuse him bc his extra spicy curry is to die for. he maybe sometimes he helps deku get an extension too but if he does that’s no one else’s business but his

izuku acts so soft w the others "oh isnt kacchans food so good? "

but he climbs into through katsukis window

"bitch whats the recipe"

izuku banging on katsuki s window at five in the morning: “kacchan give me ur fucking curry recipe you promised it to me three years ago”

bakugos hands shake as he tries to call aizawa

“i see u calling sensei kacchan, put the phone down and no one gets hurt”

he has one of katsukis limited editing all might figurines in his hand

“give me the recipe and all might lives katsuki. it doesn’t have to end this way”

shouji, stressed and sleep deprived walks into bakugou’s room just to see izuku menacingly trying to force his way in while bakugou is crying

[dcathwithoutglory-blog]

it’s jay. again. my browser just crashed. so i’m just gonna copy and paste my old intro. there’s no time to try and make it better. rip !

⌊ priyanka chopra, cis woman, antigone ⌉ ⏀ have you spoken to ALEXANDRA “ALEXA” MEHRA recently? the THIRTY-FOUR year old who’s been in seneca for SEVEN YEARS or so? either way, they always seem to remind me of FLOWERS PLACED ON A GRAVE, A RUSTY COMPASS, STORMS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT whenever i see them on main street. on a good day they’re pretty MORALISTIC, but they can also be RESISTANT. ⌊ jay, 19. est, she/her ⌉

the story of antigone that y’all probs already know but jic.

triggers: brief implication of incest but like wbk, brief mention of suicide, death, creon bein a bitch

brief overview of antigone (character + eponymous story):

antigone was born to oedipus and jocasta.

we all know what happened there. after that, oedipus was like “see no evil feel no evil” and jocasta yeet’d out of living.

her brothers went to war against each other. when creon ascended to the throne, he allowed burial for eteocles with honors, but was like “lmao if u bury polyneices i will kill u”

but antigone was like ‘lmao SURE JAN’ and tried to convince ismene, her sister, to help her bury polyneices. ismene was like ‘ok that’s a rly bad idea like good luck but count me out tbh.’

antigone is rly bad at digging graves tho so polyneices’s body was found and creon was like ‘oh my GOD’ and she’s like ‘fuck the government viva la morality!’

then creon was like ‘ok anyway rmr when i said u wld die if u buried polyneices so ig now u have to be buried alive in a tomb’ then antigone was like ‘actually i’ll be hanging myself before u can do fuck the government’

then he was like ‘at least u’ll be dead! oh wait -

Y’ALL GO SAVE EVERYONE’ but then it was too late

antigone and his son had both killed themselves and everyone, including himself, were just like

“get WREKT creon!!!!!”

alexa ( play despacito ).

triggers: suicide (x2), death (x3), mental illness implications, war, brief mentions of torture and murder

ok now onto alexandra ! so, like i did for valda, i looked up names that shared the same meaning as ‘antigone’ (which essentially means “against”) and one of the suggestions was alexa but i also wanted it to sound. super valiant. but at the same time. i wanted it to be something that could have a conversational nickname. so im already hc’ing that she has ‘despacito’ saved on her phone. also alexandra is my middle name so like?? stan list?? OK ANYWAY.

alright, so alexandra was born to a very upper-class family. her father was a politician and her mother was a successful lawyer. they provided well for the perfect nuclear family –– two sons, two daughters, a golden retriever, two cats in the yard life used to be so hard now everything is easy cause of-

like... her early life, say birth to age 14, was... nice. actually normal and nice. have i ever done that before? has my own edgelord ass ever done that before? i don’t think so.

which is why things obviously took a turn for the worse

but yeah. when she was 14, she was like “hey mom idk how to do pre-algebra” (a mood) but there was no response from her mom. so shrug city, you know? she just went to her older sister instead. but like... so much time passed.... and nothing....

finally, this nosy bitch decided to be like “ok i’m gonna go see what tf she’s doing” and that was just... a terrible idea. instead of finding her mom doing her nails or talking on the phone or any number of reasons she may not have come out yet, she found her mother hanging from the ceiling fan.

she tried to get her brothers’ and sister’s help, and they tried so desperately to help (you know, while also calling 911 and their father), but it was to absolutely no avail.

after this hella traumatizing experience, the children grew closer as the father grew farther.

he began getting lost in his own mind, sometimes accidentally mixing the past with the present, a la willy loman style. he would hold slight conversations with their ‘mother’ while at the table, then began holding them with various others from the past. it was pretty clear that his mind had just been looking for an excuse to snap, and the death of his wife had been the perfect scapegoat.

although it had originally just affected him in his home life, he began holding said conversations in the presence of people outside his family.

this is not good for a politician.

i mean it’s not good for anyone but...

his support immediately began dropping. his team gradually left him, finding there was no way he would ever be able to gain another victory if he kept on living in a limbo between the past and the present. given that he’d started ‘talking to his brother’ during one of his speeches... 

rest in peace to his career.

alexa (play despacito) was 18 at the time, her sister - 20, one of her brothers - 21, the other - 24.

they were all legal adults! some of them had even moved out! so their father figured his next move would not affect him in the way their mother’s death had!

so he shot himself.

the only people who showed up at his funeral were alexa and her sister. her eldest brother proclaimed that flying across the country would be too much of a hassle for that, and the other brother simply did not respond.

her eldest brother did, however, enlist in the army after setting legalities in place that would allow him to send money back to his siblings. he had joined simply because it was an easy opportunity (what with all of the propaganda), but his decision prompted the other brother to do the same –– this time because he was talented at ‘the art of fighting.’

and bc more money but like... get wrekt.

alexa’s sister dropped out of college to work a full-time job –– one that paid fairly handsomely. alexa took some odd jobs.

aka, everyone was trying to make money.

creon was right when he said “money! nothing worse”

so things kind of dipped when the eldest brother was killed. after an accusation that he’d become a traitor, their other brother had taken it upon himself to ‘anonymously’ torture and shoot him. but the other side did it!

which everyone knew was a lie.

because of the accusations, he was not only not allowed a military funeral, he was also not meant to be buried in any honorable fashion. instead, his body was returned to his hometown to be buried there following a quiet and uneventful funeral.

his grave was left unmarked.

nonetheless, the grave was visited every day, new flowers laid atop.

meanwhile, their other brother was considered a newfound military icon. he’d gotten rid of a ‘traitor’ (they continued to pretend it was someone from the other side, of course), he’d killed many an enemy, he’d done this and that and this and that and it all made him look so morally grey to alexa and her sister (who, granted, had yet to find out he’d killed their other brother), but like such a white knight to his fellow soldiers.

he truly rose in the ranks. it was what he was meant to do.

but the more he killed, the more he tortured, the lack of grief towards his brother’s death...

alexa’s sister wasn’t buying her hypothesis. it wasn’t necessarily because she saw their other brother was some pure being, but because she simply didn’t believe he was capable of that.

the next time alexa saw her brother, she got confirmation enough. what to do with the information, she wasn’t sure, but she knew she had to do something...

murder wasn’t the solution... she didn’t have any military connections that would allow for her to spout some lie about why he needed to be dishonorably discharged... but what he did couldn’t skate by...

to this day, she is still wondering what she can do to fuck him over. his success in the military keeps growing grander and grander, thus rendering any fake dishonorable discharge excuses completely moot. her sister still doesn’t believe that there really is a solution –– that, while it is greatly harmful, there’s absolutely nothing they can do and ruminating on it is worthless –– trying to find some quest to defeat their own brother is absurd.

although she has since moved to seneca, attracted to its small town appeal, she continues to visit her eldest brother’s grave every week –– it’s about a two hour drive, so it’s worth it.

she’s taken up work as a cemetery caretaker

because of COURSE she would.

and, although its pay is.... lousy, she’s been making due. for the tombstones no one visits any longer, first she’ll look them up to make sure they weren’t slave-owners or anything, she’ll bring them their own flowers. the dead deserve just as much respect as the living, hm?

personality.

i just realized i didn’t do this for valda (aka, i’m about to update her intro with it), but a total enneagram type 2.

too empathetic for her own good, too ‘this person whom i do not even know deserves flowers��� for her own good, too ‘i’ve got to protect _______ by doing _________’ for her own good

a capricorn

so driven by her own moral compass, she does not CARE about anything that says she has to go against it

her moral compass can be super faulty sometimes tho

pretty quick to make assumptions tbh, but has so far been right abt most of them.

so also driven by gut feelings ig

dramatic tbh. i mean she’s the adapted version of a character whose first lines contained “there's nothing, no pain—our lives are pain” SO.

also p independent (as in i said valda was independent), but her vendetta isn’t against men in general, rather just her brother who is still alive

so like,,, that said,,, holds grudges.

im bad at personality sections!! as has been stated before!! but i think the gist has been gotten across!!

wanted connections.

so rn i only have one specific one which is her sister and can be found on the wc page

will come up w/ unique ones later but until then open 2 hearing urs/brainstorming!

tl;dr.

(refer to triggers listed before the bullets.) a lot of death? like mom kills herself then dad turns into willy loman then dad kills himself. brothers both join the army. one brother kills the other brother for being accused of being a ‘traitor.’ said brother doesn’t get a proper funeral and his headstone is unmarked. the other brother rises in the rankings and alexa knows what happened. convinced her sister of it, but her sister is more logical and let her know that she was very angry too, but making her entire life about it would do nothing but endanger herself and others. moved to seneca because she liked the small town feel. still visits her eldest brother’s grave every week to leave flowers. works as a cemetery caretaker bc WHY NOT. brings flowers to graves that are either unmarked or no longer visited. i hope you read all of that and just thought ‘oh my god fckin EDGELORD’ because you’re right.

alright ! fin.

like this or hmu if you’d like to plot !