#ITS EASY TO TAKE ON AND OFF AND I DONT FEEL SICK WHEN WEARING IT

[endrimer]

MY BINDER ARRIVED!!!!1 YIPPEPEEE!!!!!!!!! have normal in his binder as a celebration :DD

[whoisneo404]

u should write abt nick x his bestfriend!

maybe something abt how they r bestfriends and they have been for a long time and nick is starting to have feelings for him but doesn’t wanna ruin their friendship

good little angsty story with a good ending

Ik you will cook king🤗

Kiss the birthday boy.

Summary: You like Nick and he MIGHT like you too. we dont know. and its his birthday soon.

TW: reader is refered as ‘girl’ but not as in reader is a girl, as in ‘giiirl’.

“Which one do you think he will like the most?” Jake looks at me while showing me two jackets.

“Girl… none, buy that one over there, the dark brown one. He will like that.” I say pointing out a jacket hanging behind him.

“Girl, you do know him so well, that’s why I brought you here… and because you and Johnny are good friends, but anyways. Ill buy this, thanks.” He leaves the two jackets he had on hand and grabs the dark brown I pointed out and walked to the cashier. I turn around and start searching for Johnny outside of the store. “Johnny.” I say when I see him.

“Hi.” He says waving awkwardly at me.

“Ugh, I wanna go home.”

“Me too.” he hands me a coffee. “Bought this for you.”

“Thank you.” He nods.

“How are you and your… Nick situation.” I almost choked on my coffee when he said that.

“Don’t call it that.” I say wiping the coffee from my lips.

“What should I call it then? The ‘oh no I like my best friend and I think he also likes me but I’m not sure and I don’t want to ruin our long friendship’ situation?”

“Dear god Johnny, that doesn’t help.” I laugh a bit and he does too.

“Sorry… but how are you with that?”

“It doesn’t help that it’s his birthday soon?”

“Why?”

“I never buy him anything, I never have. I always gift him handmade things, he loves that kind of thing. But every time I sit down to write him a letter, I end up confessing my feelings, I can’t write something normal.”

“Rough.”

“Don’t even tell me.”

“You should talk to Jake.”

“He will tell me to just confess, it isn’t that easy.”

“What are you guys talking about?” Jake gets out of the store and walks to us.

“Coffee.” “Movies.” Johnny and I say at the same time, the three of us exchange looks.

“Movies.” “Coffee.” We say again but the other way around.

“Okay babygirls. Whatever, I won’t ask if you guys have your little secret secrets.” Jake laughs and starts walking to his car.

Once Jake drops me off in my house Johnny gives me a thumbs up and I weakly give it back to him.

---

“Still nothing?” Madi is ‘sitting’ on my desktop, my phone is propped up against my wall and she is wrapping up the gifts for Nick on the floor of her room.

“I can’t do it. I just can’t. It ends up being awkward or I end up saying how much I like him and that I wish he liked me back.” I cover my face with both of my hands and let out a groan. “Maybe I should just tell him I’m sick and I can’t go to the party.”

“He will ditch all of us to take care of you.” Madi said smiling.

“No, he wouldn-… yes he would, he is so kind and lovely to everyone.” I look at Madi and she gives me an empathetic smile which transforms into a smirk.

“Guess who’s calling me.” she says in a singing tone.

“God no, tell him to go away.”

“Already added him to the call.”

“Madi! I need to fix my hair.”

“Too late.”

“Madi!”

“Hiiii!” Nick pops up on the screen, he is smiling and standing in the middle of the room. “What are you guys chatting about? Just so you know, I am deeply offended that you didn’t invite me.” He says while fake crying. I just stare at him, trying to not bury myself into de ground.

“I was talking to this guy about what I’m gonna wear to your party. But it’s a surprise so you can’t see.” Madi says.

“Oh, I like surprises. I’m sure the both of you will look amazing.” He says while walking around his room, cleaning it up a bit. “You guys are staying to sleep, right?” I quickly look at Madi and she mumbles something that I did not understand.

“I am…” I say quickly.

“Cool.” Nick says and then he starts rambling about how exited he is to see his friends and all the things we will do at the sleepover after the party. Eventually he finished cleaning up and grabbed his phone to lay on his bed ‘with us’. We talked about our days, I told them I went out with Jake and Johnny but didn’t say why. After two hours Madi go ‘sleepy’, that’s what she told Nick because when she left the call, she texted me telling me to enjoy my alone time with Nick.

“So, Johnny, huh?”

“What does that mean?” I laugh a bit.

“You and him are close. Well, closer than before.”

“I guess.” I say, I look at my ceiling. My phone laying beside my face.

“Isn’t he like… 5 years older than us?” I quickly sit up and grab my phone, putting it in front of my face.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Like… isn’t he a bit older for you?”

“Nick… what are you saying?”

“Do you like him?” he says quickly.

“What? No. Why would you even think that?”

“I-… I don’t know. I just… fuck- it’s nothing, I just thought… I didn’t but I thought maybe you liked him and I don’t know. Look, it’s late, I’m tired. I’ll text you tomorrow.” And then he hangs up on me. nothing else. Nothing. Silence fills my room and I am confused. Why would he say that?

---

“I’m serious, he was jealous.”

“Madi stop.” The light sound of music fills Madis room as she gets ready to go to Nicks party. It has been two days since that call and I did not have the courage to text Nick, neither did he.

“I’m just saying. I have known Nick for only a few years more than you but I can talk, I know him.” She says applying on her mascara.

“I don’t know…” I lay on her bed, my legs dangling off the edge. “I just don’t know. I want to cry so bad…”

“Hey, hey.” Madi quickly drops her mascara and runs to me, she sits down beside me and I sit up, my elbows on my knees and my head between my hands. “It’s okay…” She comforts me, her arms around me. “You don’t have to go…”

“I will. He is my friend. They are my friends. I- I told Matt I was going to be there.” I mumble. “Also, I have to give them their gifts…”

Madi sighs. “If you need anything just find me. Okay?” I nod and she kisses my cheek gently. “Want me to do your make up?” I chuckle a bit.

“What for?”

“To cheer you up of course.”

“I think that will cheer you up more but, why not?”

---

“Wooow. Who did your make up?” Jake says as we enter the house.

“Oh, Madi.”

“Well, she did a great job.” Johnny adds.

“It’s only mascara, blush and… lip gloss? Lip balm? I don’t know, she put a few things there.” I laugh a bit.

“Have you seen the birthday boys?” I ask.

“Over there.” Jake points to the kitchen and I nod to them. I walk over there and let out a short sigh to brace myself.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” I scream opening my arms and hugging the three of them at the same time. I feel someone laughing, awkward hands patting my back and I hear a muffled ‘thanks’. “How are my birthday boys?” I ask when I let them go.

“I’m glad you came.” Matt says.

“I’m good! we rented a jumping castle.” Chris adds with a childish smile on his face.

“No way…” I say

“Yes way.” He adds.

“Take me there.” I hand him my hand and Chris drags me. “Happy birthday Nick…” I mumble as I pass beside him.

---

It’s 3 am. Almost everyone is gone, I lay on the jumping castle alone, watching the stars blink at me.

“Don’t you feel alone in that castle?” a familiar voice comes from outside the castle.

“Depends who is asking…”

“May I be of company to the prince?”

“You may…” The soft material of the castle moves as he enters the castle and lays besides me. “Well, I think you should be the prince because it’s your birthday.”

“It was yesterday, it’s already 3:20 am.” I roll my eyes and turn my head to look at him. he was already looking at me. “You look good…”

“Most of the make up already washed off.”

“Don’t care. You look good…” he pauses for a bit. “Chris and Matt really liked your gifts…” I hum. “I can’t help but wonder where is mine.”

“I-… it’s in my car.” I sit up and look down to the bright color of the castle.

“Why didn’t you give it to me?”

“I can’t…” I feel him sit up too.

“Look at me.” His hand grabs my jaw gently and he turns my head.

“When it’s late you act weird…”

“You think I’m weird?”

I chuckle. “You know what I meant.”

“No, tell me.”

“You act different… like a few days ago.” He nods, his hand still on my face. “Nick… I can’t.” I grab his hand and pull it away from my face. “Don’t, please.” My eyes fill with tears.

“I’m not doing anything…” I look down and I tighten my grip on his hand.

“Look. I know that you are more… sure about everything, more confident, more outgoing. I’m not. I’m scared…”

“Just tell me.” He whispers. “It will be okay, I promise.”

“Nick-.“ My voice cracks. “I like you.” I whisper, a tear rolls down my face.

“I know… I like you too.” Suddenly the cold breeze of the night isn’t freezing anymore. Time stops for us. His hands go to my face and he kisses me, the kind of kiss that can cure any heart ache. I feel alive.

“I’m sorry.” I sniff. “I shouldn’t be crying. God, this is so awkward. I was so scared.” He grabs my hands that were shaking.

“What do you mean? This is the best gift ever. And not a lot of people can say that the love of they life confessed at a castle.”

I laugh. “Nick, this is a kids jumping castle.” He wipes away the tears of my face.

“I know, I don’t care.” He kisses my lips softly one more. “Let’s go inside. There is taco bell and pizza, you choose what to eat.”

Nick grabs my hand and softly guides me out of the castle, I smile weakly at him and he kisses my cheek. Together, we walk inside of the house.

taglist: @freshloveforthefit @shywolfapricotfan @sturnphilia @matty-bear @thenickgirl @stvrniolvsp @paige05 @soursturniolo @miloisdone1 @teenagetrash00 @lovely-calypso @h3arts4harry @malirosee @m3laninangel

[hellcatinnc]

My Next Life As a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! - Pirates of the Disturbance - Game Alan Stuart Review

Will Include Spoilers

Oh thank you creators for making this guy my type he is a sad boy/tsundere who is shy and blushes alot and is easily flustered. This is the kinda guy that I'm sweet on easy. From his greyish/white hair to the way he wears his sexy earrings... yeah Alan is my guy in this game. Rozy still has me curious though so we shall see. Anyways Alan is a good guy to the point he is always worried about hurting his brother if he was to let Catarina know he loved her. Its funny because he didn't even realize he loved her until she got sick then he realized a world without her he just couldn't live in. I also respect him cause as soon as he knew he was in love with her he went straight to Mary to call off the engagement they had. I mean she didn't want to at the moment until they could be with the person they wanted then she said she would bow out.

He is just so protective of Catarina, like when they get attacked by pirates he is willing to fight to his death if nothing but to keep her safe. He is a prince but he never lets it get to his head, he is still same boy that grew up with her. He picks on her about not being lady like and all but at the same time these are the things he loves about her more. He is adorable when he realizes she kissed him by accident. He gets on her and seems mad when she does something that can hurt her but I honestly feel like its to prevent from breaking down. He finally gets through to her how he feels and even in his last fight with Frederic I was so not expecting him to push her back and catch the sword with his hand. Like seriously dude is bleeding out yelling at Frederic that he will not let him harm Catarina cause she is the only on the matters to him and she is important. That was such a declaration of love that should make most girls swoon.

The CG's were beautiful in Alan's route and I really love how both of them eventually expressed their love for each other it was so sweet especially with blushing Alan awww he is always swoon worthy. I love in best happy ending they end up engaged though. I hated how Mary and Geordo made them wait almost a year to be together because everyone else selfishness of wanting her. I do love Geordo was willing to let her be happy with Alan however I agree with Alan his last words may have sounded nice but he was practically saying my brother fucks up and I will be there. I love his special show he puts on for her in the lounge as well. I don't know everything about this couple I love and I love Alan so much.

The alternate ending with Mary abducting her was plain creepy. I mean I always knew the bitch was psycho but she really proved it now. She would rather kidnap Caterina than let her be with the man she loves that was sickening to watch. The sweet love story in the mix of Ryle and Liliana was sweet to watch unfold as well. I hate on good ending although together its more in secret because Caterina has yet to call off her engagement to Geordo. Plus on this ending when she told Geordo he wanted more time he sounded more selfish in this part cause he made it sound like he didn't believe Alan could make her happy. I dont see how this was a good ending because Caterina talks about Alan being a dunce and not sure she romantically loves him. The doom ending being killed by Frederic was anticlimactic though if it was a doom ending would be more entertaining.

Alan really is a special kinda guy and I would say he is like tsundere, meets sad boy, meets best friend/big brother trope. He is a bit of them all and every interaction I had with him was either sweet, intimate, or I could feel how much he cared. I posted alot of his pictures but some of the things he says is even sweeter take a look at the video its the last scene where they announce their love. If your ok with the spoiler you will see how adorable they really are together.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Tropes 6-11 with Itward

I knowwwww I just said I was gonna be skipping the body trope thing for a lot of these "writing speed runs" the only reason itward gets the body swap trope is because I keep coming back to dumb joke scenarios I used to make last year that.. included body swaps!!

BODY SWAP

He is not at all used to having flesh. He tries to be as gentle with your body as he can be, though that's easy considering itward doesn't take many risks when it comes to you..being in your body is no different. As an added bonus if you've been neglecting yourself he makes sure your body is in tip top shape when its returned.. totally not because he kind of felt like shit when he was inside of it.. that's only partly the reason. You, on the other hand, likely end up bumping your (itwards?) Head on doorways, not at all used to being so tall. You both definitely get a few heads turned your way when your dialects swap, as well as your general mannerisms

UNREQUITED LOVE

You were the one crushing on the skeleton, but given that hes constantly here and there you never get to see him much. You try to work up the courage to tell him how you feel before he runs off again to do... whatever he ends up doing while on his adventures. Hes eventually going to notice that something is going on with you, and hes going to ask. Hes very respectful if he doesnt return your feelings, being firm but mindful and letting you down gently.. he doesnt want this to ruin your friendship, but he would be understanding if you want to stop seeing him

MUTUAL PINING

When he has a crush he tends to get talkative. Very talkative, he just wants to spend time with you and build your bond. This leads to a lot of info dumping, where you take turns talking. He attempts to get into some of the things he knows you enjoy so you have a common talking point. On the flip side, if you want his attention offer to help him with his machines. Hes going to appreciate the help and it gives you his time. Very valuable stuff, you know. If you're available after, he might just ask you to have a cup of tea with him.. just play it cool and it should be smooth sailing!

DRUNKEN CONFESSION

While not a confession in the context that he he has a crush on you and you two arent together yet... but a confession in the way where you two are together but he spills just how much you mean to him. Of course, hes been drinking the special lemonade from ithersta.. sometimes a man needs a drink to wind down..! Very sweet, not really a crying drunk or a loud one. If anything he might get poetic.. though he isnt very graceful.. he just goes on about how hes lucky to have you in his life, how hes grateful that you stick around with him, things like that. Sweet man

SHARING CLOTHES

He catches you wearing his coat. He'd much rather you ask him before getting into his wardrobe, but hes not particularly angry or upset.. did you miss him? Oh you poor thing.. he makes a mental note to put some time aside to spend it with you. Like how he smells? He probably.. smells like..he looks like he would smell like a fireplace, and parchment. With a little hit of oil, of course from his machinery. Hes a little confused, but hes not going to shame you for enjoying his scent

DOMESTIC

Living in the flying ship with itward is a nice life. You both travel a lot, so hopefully you dont mind that.. hopefully you dont get air or motion sick either, as the rocking of the ship is going to be near constant. The home a chaotic sort of mess, though everything fits together to give off a cozy feel.. there isnt much to tidy up, but itward won't stop you from trying to rearrange things. Just let him know first! He does most of the cooking, finding the task calming. Sometimes you both watch the sky, on top of the machine as you two travel

[allsketchesnononsense]

I SAW YOUR POST ABOUT THE PSYCHOPOMP HELMET AND I HAVE TO ASK HOW’D YOU MAKE IT??

i wanted to cosplay her at some point in the future but i’ve never tried my hand at prop making or anything of that matter really so i can’t wrap my head around any like basic concepts to make the psychopomp itself 😭😭

sorry for taking abit to answer, wanted to make sure I was at my PC to answer so I can give Exact Images n stuff of what I got/used

warning: you're gonna need some serious power tools for this. alotta bits I had to get help from my dad bc he has SO MANY hobbies that involve power tools lol

SO

For the base:

you need a good helmet. n finding one of those ain't easy, so you're probs gonna haveta Make Do with something you can cut parts off of.

I used something like this, but cut off the parts that jut out at the ears and the lip at the front. The internal bit that keeps your Actual Head from touching the Actual Helmet is VERY helpful bc (atleast w/ mine) it wasnt a layer of foam or anything that'd be finnicky, it was just straps.

theoretically could also use a cheap-y baseball helmet though obvi you still gotta Mutilate it

For the accessories™:

The antannae are actual extendable radio antannae I harvested from an old boombox n another thing, but you can buy JUST the antannae online

the megaphone/satellite dish bit my dad helped me cut n gut a car alarm type thing and attatch it w/ this silicone stuff he had on hand

And the headphone pieces on the sides are a set of vintage radio headphones I found at a thrift store. these to be exact (they're not v rare n go for 10-30 bucks on ebay)

Though any old, chunky headphones could easily work. These were just what I had on hand. And, as a useful thing, the metal prongs connecting to the headband were perfect to easily bolt in place on the helmet and keep them flexible for easy putting on and taking off. The little radio speaker-y bits on the outside I added my dad had laying around though obvi not 1000% Necessary

And that's all really for the easily bought supplies

The front plate is Literally just a chunk of sheet metal he happened to have on hand, and added the bolts to. The fifth bolt in the middle is the only Functional one that actually attatches to the helmet

And the bit keeping the wires in place is a piece of plastic we melted to shape, painted accordingly, then hot glued in place. Added the screws to make it look abit more Cohesive with the rest of it.

The staples specifically on mine are holes drilled then w/ v thin wire fed through and twisted and trimmed.

Some smaller seams n details I added with super glue since it gave a v subtle raised effect, and bc it cracked in shipping I had to super glue some of the cracks back together Anyways lmao

also had to do alot of spraypainting to get it the right color. Make sure to paint the "accessories" seperate before assembly bc trying to tape off everything could end up Annoying and that way the metal bolts and the plate can retain their orig metal color to add contrast.

Also make sure you get Matte paint, bc it'll look goofy shiny. Preferably something meant for outdoor use bc those will have the more gritty textures you're looking for n its easy to find.

For any extra scuffing n details I did some dry brushing w/ grey and black acrylic to add depth. Best way to do it imo is add some drybrush with a scrappy old paintbrush then wipe away some with a paper towel

or just use a paper towel with a v tiny, thinly spread bit of paint

Hopefully this helps atleast some!! If you need more detailed shots of my helmet for better reference just lemme know, I just dont feel like going to grab her rn for a photo shoot lmao

Good luck w/ your helmet!! n be sure to post it lots when you're done!!

It'll be sick as hell to see how your interpretation turns out!

just be careful bout wearing it too long

start seeing things you're not supposed to

knowing things you're not supposed to

[foxboyclit]

im coming up on my 2 year t-aversarry so here's some assorted feelings on that (put under a cut because i didnt expect it to get this long oops)

first off, im hoping i don't get sick again so i can actually have a tea party to celebrate. even if its a little after the actual date i wanna do something

it looks like i cant grow anything more than some light whiskers but i never wanted a huge lumberjack beard anyway and i still get to shave regularly which is very euphoric. im a little disappointed though because ive always wanted a full beard

body hairs been really good though! its filled out nicely on my arms and legs and i have a full happy trail i am so so happy about that

my doctor said she noticed my shoulders had gotten more broad, which ive heard wasn't possible but apparently it is! and i see it myself too. she said i have more of an inverted triangle shape now, and it makes sense because ive noticed my hips shrink significantly. now apparently i wasn't very curvy to begin with but dysphoria makes me see things that aren't as prominent i guess

its also almost a year since my period stopped and i feel so much better having my emotions and energy levels at a constant state. i never have to think about whether i forgot to bring pads i haven't had cramps in MONTHS it's wonderful. i will say, ive noticed cis women are more comfortable talking about their periods around me and it's a mixed bag of emotions. im glad i give off that vibe that it's okay to talk about it but i feel bad saying "yeah im glad mine stopped" or "this is what i used to go through" which is the most i can relate to now so im kind of...sad? to not be able to talk about it? but also when i did menstruate i hated talking about it to anyone other than like. two specific people. idk

my voice is leveling out more, it still cracks but not as much as it did i feel like just a few months ago? still not where i want it but im getting closer and i love when my voice cooperates and is deeper without those cracks. ive gotten compliments on my voice too when i use my lower register! idk if the majority of people read it as masculine or even androgynous but i like compliments

still getting constantly misgendered, no matter what im wearing but im used to it. at least all my family, friends and coworkers respect my pronouns

ive been dressing a lot more feminine than i anticipated. but im having fun with it! its okay if im actually more feminine presenting than fluid like i previously thought. but also i could have another big swing in the opposite direction. i feel comfortable and stylish either way so im welcoming whatever changes

the gender fuckery of facial hair, flat chest and skirt has been *chefs kiss*

my t levels are on par with cis men! just knowing that makes me smile. estrogen is still high but it wasnt a concern with the doctor so im mostly okay with it

my libidos leveled out nicely, it's still a lot higher than before t but its not as intense as when i first started. adjusting to it has been pretty easy and im happy with where it currently sits.

body acne has mostly gone away! and i haven't had any massive breakouts or changes in my skin!

i swear to god i went down at least a cup size. its been waiting for the right time to pursue top surgery a hell of a lot easier. i always felt like if i had a smaller chest i wouldnt necessarily need top surgery, and i still want it but im more content with my chest now

i think all in all ive had to adjust my expectations for how id look by now, maybe its the dosage or genetics or aforementioned high estrogen or it just hasn't been long enough but i always expected to look more masculine this far in. it's still something i have to deal with from time to time but ultimately im happy with my body and im more okay taking this slowly than i anticipated

i dont have a conclusion for this other than wow. testosterone is one hell of a drug

[kyyykingsley]

1, 13, 19 😊

1 - What song makes you feel better?

At first I had no fucking clue. Absolutely zero. I was gunna go with Its All About You by McFly because that's been in my life literally since I was born. I love it, it made me a hopeless romantic. But in no way does it make me feel better, it breaks my heart into tiny little bits.

But then! I remembered that Electric Energy from the Argylle soundtrack exists. That shit- i need it in my veins. Give me a lobotomy and put that song in instead. It's amazing. It's nothing but fun dance and that's all I need and want. That's all anyone needs. If that shit ever played in a club? Never seeing me again. I'd get too excited and just combust.

13 - What's your comfort food?

Now that I'm not sure- My go to is steak and it's very comforting to my hunger. It's tough because I do think steak but there was one meal my mom made me as a kid, it's a shit meal and wasn't cooked well but it was something. It was pasta, chopped up hot dog and sweetcorn. I know, sounds disgusting shoving all that in a pot and saying dinner but it was everything I liked as a kid and as a person who eats one thing at a time, it tasted quite nice. She always cooked it when I was off sick from school and yeah. It was shit but it was something. It was the very least and I was happy with that.

19 - Most important thing in your life?

You came in with all the questions I dont have answers to today. Teasing xx

Now this is gunna sound fucking dorky but honestly probably my resident evil necklaces. I have Claire's replica and an etsy made one of Jill's and I wear them constantly. They're my good luck charms. Apart from Claire's, specifically when I'm riding my bike (just a bicycle I'm not that cool yet sadly). Last time I wore it on my bike I smashed my face in the road and got stitches so not happening-

But, those necklaces have connected me with people. I wear them to work and it's how I got talking with my now best friend, it made it easy to find a connection with him that I wouldn't take away for anything in the world. You could give me Jill Valentine and I still wouldn't trade him for her. But her necklace was in part what got me to be friends with him so. And in part, they give me a confidence boost. Let's me take a bit of their spirit into my day and hone the energy I need in certain situations.

If I think of a thing that trumps that I will update but right now, that's it

[crimson-catalyst]

wrote my july 2022 neph prompt, "meaningful belongings" featuring Darius and @synoicus' Kira!!!!! enjoy im very proud of this one!

~~~~~

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask you," one of the designers for this season's show wanders up to Darius' station, "where did you get your jacket? Is it custom? I love it."

"I-" Darius fights back the initial panic that surged when they gestured at his shoulders, trying to steady his voice to respond properly…

--

His phone rang, startling Darius from his reverie of staring blankly at whatever was on TV. Grasping blindly for his phone, he fumbled with the screen, eventually successfully swiping the ‘answer’ badge.

"H-"

"DUDE," Darius tipped the phone away from his ear as Kira's enthusiasm blew out the mic on her own.

"there's this TOTALLY SICK BAND THROWDOWN tonight at that club up on thirty-second!!!! Cold Brewing Storm and Zap Attack'll be there!!!! You're coming right??? Wanna ride together with me?? Toby said 'no' like a WEENIE cos he 'wants to get sleep tonight' or whatever."

"I…" Darius hesitated in the opening Kira finally afforded him. He'd have loved to. Of course he would've. But…

"I can't. sorry," he mumbled, pathetically. It felt bad. He could feel Kira's confusion in the silence.

"...that's the third time this week, dude." her voice was markedly softer, concern plain as day across the line, "You've been real down all of a sudden. Did something happen?"

"No."

Kira’s response was simply a contemplative pause, but of course that didn’t last for long.

"I'm coming over."

"Kira no yo-"

The call ended with a click and Darius snarled at the air as he lowered the phone from ear range. He furiously texted her instead: kira, dont. go to the show itll be great. kira. kira!!!! kira im fine!

She didn't deign to so much as leave him a read receipt. S'pose he should've known better; when Kira's mind was made up, there was little chance of stopping her. He sighed angrily, tugging at the unfamiliar t-shirt tight around his neck. He'd just have to stomach chatting with her long enough til she was satisfied and went home. At least she was easy to distract.

Ears flat back, annoyed with himself for even thinking this way about Kira, of all nephs, he shook himself to his feet and surveyed his immediate surroundings. It was pretty clear he’d had little energy to do much other than lay around on the couch feeling sorry for himself. He'd have to clean up at least a bit or she'd never believe his claims.

There was a knock on the door just as Darius put the last dry dish back in the cabinet. Flinging the towel across the back of a chair and slapping the trash shut - he'd have to take it out another time - he scampered to the door before Kira took his dallying as her cue to make more noise than the neighbors would appreciate.

He opened it just a crack, peering into the hall. "Kira I'm-"

"I BROUGHT SOUP," she barged the rest of the way past the door, past Darius, and into his apartment. "ITS GETTING COLD COME GET SOME!"

"Kira!" he helplessly trailed after her, the door falling lamely shut in her wake. "I'm okay this isn't necessary!"

"Nonsense," she yelled from the kitchen, her big, tinfoil-covered pot clanging onto the stovetop. "Where are your spoons?"

"In there -" he pointed reflexively before he realized he was enabling her, "but for real; you're gonna miss out on the show! You LOVE Zap Attack!"

"And Zap Attack," Kira muttered as she rustled around in his drawer, "PALES in comparison to how much I love my HOMIES!" she declared, brandishing a ladle. "So THERE."

Darius rolled his eyes, "please, I'm fine."

"I may love you but, full offense, you look like you rolled out of bed and right back into it a few days in a row, bud."

He grimaced. She wasn't wrong.

"And you're wearing a shirt. There's no way you're fine," she jabbed him playfully with the ladle. "ya nudist."

"It's! Comfy," he lied.

“Sure.” Kira rolled her eyes in return, turning back to the stove and tearing the foil off her soup to give it a stir. The little flames of the gas stove flickered tauntingly underneath the pot’s copper base and Darius felt queasy.

“You don’t have to tell me exactly what’s going on, man, but I know you; you’re stronger than this. You can own up to it when you’re having a rough time.” She drew the ladle back out of the pot, tipping her glasses to her forehead so they wouldn’t steam up as she sampled the soup. “Oh, good, it’s still toasty.”

Darius could practically feel his frustration building. “I’m an adult, Kira, I can handle it myself.”

“oh-HOH!” Kira whirled around and pointed at him again with the now-wet ladle, much to Darius’ chagrin. “So you ADMIT you’re feeling it!”

“I-” his cheeks burned and he grit his teeth, desperately trying to keep his boiling emotions in and incriminating himself in the same silence.

“Darius,” her voice soft again, Kira stepped down from the stove and closer to him. “I can’t help you if you aren’t willing to let me.”

"I"m FINE," he snapped, growling deep in his throat, but his mane prickled and crawled and he knew his game was up as a burst of flame crackled through his t-shirt.

Kira's ears flattened and she recoiled at the sudden heat. Upon opening her eyes again Darius had completely deflated, head in his hands beneath sagging shoulders and tail limp on the ground as fire leaped from his fur.

"Clearly," she remarked, insatiable need for snark getting the better of her.

"What happened?" she added more gently, "you can talk to me about it."

"I can't," Darius groaned, finally lifting his head and fixing her with a baleful stare through lidded eyes.

She poked him with the ladle, making a wet stain on the rags of his shirt. "Sure you can, this is a no-judgement zone."

He dragged his paws down his face. "No, Kira, its under NDA I actually can't."

"You got cursed on air-"

"mrmgmh NO I JUST--" Darius flailed wildly before freezing mid-gesture, and took a deep breath.

"I-" he looked around, strained, picking his words carefully "I… misused my magic."

"It wasn't during shooting and I don't think anyone knows it was me but I. It'll…" he growled in ‘legal bullshit’ frustration, "...it'll affect the season."

"Darius…"

"I KNOW. I know," he moaned, "I fucked up! It's a miracle I haven't been fired and it's only a matter of time before they find out. It's constant, Kira; the smoke, I- I had to take the batteries out of the alarm. And it smells like campfire in here, I'll never get it out-" he paused for breath, his thoughts finally gushing out in a panicked stream, and Kira padded around to sit beside him on the tile floor.

"And I'm-" the word caught in his throat, "I'm cursed. It's not like it'll go away; everyone - everyone - will know forever that I did it. That I-” his voice petered out into a whine, and he looked up at the badly-stuccoed ceiling, willing the tears he felt welling in his eyes to drain away.

Kira sighed. She knew he hailed from a conservative Nephfeist hometown, but this doom-and-gloom was so uncharacteristic for her normally overconfident friend that it was throwing her a bit off her groove.

“I know it must feel like it but it’s not gonna be the end of the world, dude.” she poked her own nubby sea-devil horns. “Mine’s a little different, but speaking from experience, I promise it won’t change you. Sure some assholes are gonna look at you funny but that’s their problem; and it’s their problem with spinx, not you, and they don’t deserve your time if they’re gonna be like that.”

“Gods,” he grimaced, “I can’t even stomach the idea of the looks I’ll get.”

“...and so you haven’t left your apartment all week?”

Darius glowered at her.

“I’d call you a weenie too but like… I get it, man. It’s not something you can overpower in your brain in just a day.” She patted his fluffy chest in lieu of his still-flaming shoulders. “I know you’ve got it in you but maybe let’s start simple today.”

Kira got to her feet and walked over to the chair she had draped her jacket across, the dishtowel underneath slipping down to the seat as she lifted it off.

“There’s no way this’ll fit you,” she remarked as she brought it back to the much larger Darius, “but if being seen is the problem-”

Darius winced as she threw it over the scraps of his unquestionably ruined t-shirt, waiting for the flames to blister through the leather - but instead to his relief felt them finally die back to smoke underneath. Kira bumped his chin up with a claw and drew the collar tight in front of him, letting the far-too-small sleeves hang limp over his sides.

“There,” she declared, triumphant. “Maybe it’s only a bandaid for now, but bandaids are the first step to healing: No smoke. No weird looks. No guilt.”

“Definitely some guilt,” Darius almost managed a smirk.

“Okay, fine, some guilt, but private guilt,” Kira’s eyes glittered happily hearing the smile in his voice again. “Baby steps.”

“...thanks, Kira,” Darius finally acquiesced, “sorry I couldn’t- didn’t say anything. It’s… a lot.”

A huge, goofy grin broke across Kira's face. “It’s okay, dude. That’s what friends are for, to force you into letting em care about you.” She put her arm around his back comfortingly, tugging again on the jacket collar with her other paw. “I’ll bring you a real one tomorrow, okay? But first: SOUP.”

--

Darius shook his head quickly to clear it, masking it as a part of conversation.

“Sorry, it was a gift from a friend,” he shrugs with his paws. “I’m not sure where she got it.”

“Drat,” the centicorn designer smiles good-naturedly despite their disappointment. “I’d have loved to see more of the line. Patterning tailored shoulders on spinx is a feat but that jacket looks great on you.”

“Well, thanks,” he smiles back unbidden, tugging on the lapels, and adds with a snicker, “It'd better, this one means a lot to me.”

[selamat-linting]

so anyway, there used to be this girl staying in one of the rooms our neighbor rented. lets call her F. one day F had to move and instead she stayed at my old house. i was too young for my mom to explain why but over the years i managed to connect the dots on my own. she got pregnant out of wedlock, her mom doesnt approve of her relationship and its not like the guy is eager on taking responsibility anyway. abortion is illegal here. and i guess somewhere along the way she had to lose her job?

anyway, F was living at my mom's place for a few weeks. i was a severe insomniac even as a kid and its nice to have someone to play with when i couldnt sleep. we watched animal documentaries and she taught me how to play board games like monopoly. during those days, she liked to talk about her siblings. especially this one girl who is a bit younger than me. F said she was a tomboy, and has always been a good, easy kid even in the womb. you see, when her mom was pregnant with her sister, they went through some marital problems that forced her mom to start working again. F was grateful her sister didnt make her mom sick so much and she was never a particularly fussy baby.

one day, F gathered the courage to see her mom again. she took me to her house. we met her little sister. at first i thought she was a boy, until i saw that she's wearing a necklace. it was the girl F liked to talk about. and she told me to play with her sister.

so we set off. this girl, lets call her C, she told me all of her favorite play spots. we walked around the fish market by the sea, we played in this park that used to be an old training ground for the military, it was amazing. i was ten or eleven years old at the time, and i thought C was the coolest girl alive. she could walk through an obstacle course without struggling, she knows how to fish, and she went on adventures almost every day. all i had going for me was that im good at browsing the internet and playing video games.

i wondered why C didnt have other kids waiting right by the door just to play with her. she was nice. definitely nicer than the ones i see at school. but then when we're in the middle of walking back, a bunch of kids saw us together and they start calling us a lesbian. C's cheery demeanor drops a bit and when i turned my head, she told me to just keep walking and ignore them. i remember feeling like i had to say something but i just didnt know what. years later, i think i know what kid me wanted to say, but by then it was too late.

anyway, we played again some more, and went back to her house. i promised next time we see each other its gonna be my turn to show her my stomping grounds (the internet). i ate dinner at their place, and F gave me a ride home. that was the last time i ever saw her.

okay no, not really. we met again. F decide to send the baby up for adoption to a relative of her ex-boyfriend. it was really sad. she couldnt stop crying. but after that, she seems to recover. at least she got herself a new job, a new place to stay, and the problem was over. on eid, she brought C at my house. yeah, C wore boy clothes on eid too. i was a bit envious of her ngl. we went on an arcade, met a kid who beg on the road outside the mall and she spent such a long time talking with them. i think C almost cried. she was a good kid. And then we played with toy guns, and C pranked a woman walking besides us by whistling at her. it was kinda mean ngl.

but thats it. there's no grand resolution. or any answer if F get to see her baby again one day. i went to middle school and liked another girl. F's visit got rarer and rarer and eventually become none as my mom moved out of our old house. with her gone, so as my continued friendship with C. we dont really have personal phone numbers as a kid and i cant find her on facebook.

when i was working at my first job, whenever i get terribly lonely, i'd get on a bus and stop around the fish market we used to hang out at. i walked by the bridge where she used to fish, near a row of stilt houses perched on top of the sea. it was almost like a pilgrimage. i hoped i'll came across C while walking around, or that i'll remember the way to get to her house. no such luck. pretty sure i'll never see her again, but i do wish her well. who knows man, maybe she'll taught me how to fish for the first time. i might know fish facts but i dont know shit about catching them.

[pwblogarchive]

September 2007

September 11, 2007

“folie a duex”

sometimes the planets align

sometimes they dont

its like how part of my childhood was stolen when they took planetary status away from pluto

well be there one day

honestly i dont mind you saying fuck you to me-

when you included the "horse you rode in on"

it kind of went to hell

i am sick- like i cant ever get enough sleep or time or words

as this thing grows i become more and more insecure.

cant look anyone in the eyes-

i am paranoid- worried sick that i am not good enough for anyone who looks at me

i know how ridiculous this sounds

trust me

the new video makes me feel the big black sadness

folie a deux is the idea of shared madness- the scientific term for romeo and juliet

i have a feeling that we share that with eachother when you have your headphones on

currently working on: taking it easy-

dont mean to be so heavy just want you to know why i look so gray sometimes lately.

September 14, 2007

after the pornstar john holmes career deflated he turned to showing up at LAX and stealing peoples bags off of the conveyor belt.

i watched someone do this to me at the airport today.

i am obsessed with the change that can turn in the world.

that is what our new video is about.

why was every question about 'how bad is britneys performance gonna be' and not about anything that truly matters in this world.

sometimes the message is more important than the art.

later on we will release a remixed version that includes more of our personal experience in africa.

for now i am content to see the love between these two and the way the civil war that rages around them affects it.

its hard to imagine that they are just like the kids that show up at our shows, only born in a different country...

vintage louis vuitton bags under the eyes

the marlbo-glow

i need him more than he needs me, he needs her more than he needs me and so on.

theres nothing new under the sun

but were reading on existentialism in the shade.

i am so in love with YOU and the idea of YOU listeing to the music and singing the words.

i know its weird but i like to imagine what you are thinking when its playing.

if it werent for that i am not sure where i would turn.

i guess this is another halfhearted thank you. just because you keep tuning in.

"dont you think its insane how donald duck never wears pants?"

life is better when youre around.

but yes i do think its insane.

September 22, 2007

eyes the size of the moon.

iron and wine "the trapeze swinger"

Posted by xoat 1:35 AM

September 26, 2007

isnt it ironic how "ironic" has no ironies in it

havent slept in days.

think i am starting to crack.

my room is thrashed, covered in matter that doesn't matter and i almost cried while watching garden state- i think its not funny anymore.

sick of watching what genius is.

sometimes genius is being completely ordinary.

when i look up at the sky i want to eat the stars.

its daylight again, everything goes back to being boring.

nothing too much to say. just gonna watch the world spin this

Posted by xoat 1:17 AM

September 28, 2007

i dont know if has been apparent or not but in the past year or so i have become so insecure its insane. it blows my mind everytime i leave the house i feel weird. strange. i feel like everything i do ruins something of my friends or my band or the songs i love. i feel like i am constantly on the defense, like i have to work so hard just to make people not hate me that i am not even myself. i havent been able to look the front row of the crowd in the eyes and hide in the back most of the time because i am so insecure with myself.

but for some reason tonight that all changed. the show tonight i connected. i felt the electricity. the light came back on. it felt so good. thank you to all that were there.

sorry. not trying to be a downer or a "poor me" kind of thing, its just been a weird adventure. it feels good to plug back in. this journal entry was one i wrote a year ago this week when i think i was pretty sure id die at age 27 (glad i didnt):

"i couldnt stay away.

the words are obsession and always have been.

heartache lite. diet love.

i am a catch and release boy.

kind of.

put summer in a pine box.

i went to sleep in june and woke up in the middle of september.

making out on stretchers, getting some in the back of an ambulance.

my hips are dry docked.

love is incidental.

the best verus the rest.

'they wipe their feet on our dreams'.

ive got 27 years hiding in the smile wrinkles of my eyes. the real ones and the fake ones take up the same space in the skin.

noone gives a fuck about eyes that are always leaking.

besides youre just hushing headboards that are always creaking.

its become apparent that there may be no one thinking of you the way i do at this very moment.

were "out of the woods"

but i am in love with the tree i used to lie under.

eyes green with envy or brown and full of shit.

or somewhere in between.

i want this to be a remix of our nighttimes."

the smiles lately have all been real. except sometimes its hard to smile when theres a camera in your fae and your just trying to get through the day. gonna try to fuck up less. nothing poetic about it: maybe things are about to get better, maybe theyre gonna get darker. i am in love with everything that is broken and sometimes i like it that whats broken is in love with me. forever kids are magnets for eachother.

anyway, finally got the chance to catch up on my insomnia and read a bunch of your letters. they keep my head straight when i get it cloudy. thanks for sticking it out with me- not like as some guy on a stage- but as an honest connection. it means alot.

ok back to being negative and pouty.

sleep tight or have a good day.

[sunflowerinpearls]

Husbands' words are not matching actions and vice versa. Hes been "venting" to "me" in front of our oldest (turning 16 may 10) on our "current" marriage?....problem(s).

I tried my best to keep my mouth shut and one time he asked me to play a song so I for one am so plugged up i cant really hear much, sometimes even music is too loud (sensory processing disorder) and I guess i didnt even hear him say something and the child caught on to what was happening and said "you're ignoring dad again"

So i spoke to her instead of him since she said it, & I said "I didnt ignore him. I didnt hear him. I was hyper focused on the song he requested me to play."

And then he went on just one of many other rants in front of her, asking "you dont think I ever hyper focus on anything? When Im home on my days off, I feel like im your servant" All day anytime I asked for help, to him I was demanding it and not appreciating stuff he did and then he would not stop talking about every single thing he did today around the house and for our children and its like.... ok cool.

And people get paid to do what i do here at home, every single day all day long. Didn't say it would be easy, however I did ask for help. He tried to say he understands im frustrated bcuz im home all day and i guess i interrupted and was rude bcuz i said "Its not THAT, at all" (cuz its...not?) Lastly i stumbled upon his fave song & started playing it & asked him to plz get me my night meds bcuz I am so fucking cold to the touch, esp to others. And moving makes it hurt.:// He said "You can just not play the song now. Thanks." So uhh.. Like all I am learning here is 1) I need to stop asking him to help me w/ literally anything and like he has said in the past which I clearly shouldve listened to: "If you (*me doing this: "cough" "cough") WANT something RIGHT NOW!, I'll have to get up and get it myself or wait until I he is ready to do it." And 2) I've been right all along. I cant count on even my own Husband so like uhh.... okay. And Now to him, I'm just a burden. Let alone ya know, i guess having influenza and not doing shit around the house "today" (literally just today, and actually, i still did some stuff which is better than none lol) and hes acting like he deserves a fucking gold medal. For what? Being a husband a father and taking responsibility of everything whilst your wife is ill? K. Never asking you for shit now. Ill send lists to him at work if the house needs anything. He hasnt had sex from me in a month because for the past 2 months steady, I have been sick with an upper respiratory virus affecting my asthma and everything else and now this so uhh, my bad. Next time I'll just faint (again) & hit my head probably (again) and then maybe, theyll see that hes just gonna send me by myself and come pick me up when Im done being in there because he has to sleep for work tomorrow. Not to ya know, dare mention that if the bulging disc in my spine "RUPTURES", all signs & symptoms of paralysis will hit fast & clearly that would become a huge Emergency Situation... So I was "told to do it anyway" by him even after explaining the deck was covered in thick broken shattered ice chunks and with my slip on shoes that are the only shoes i can wear, I told him "I'm not doing that" and now it's my fault it was left outside until when he came home (3 1/2 hours before home). I feel as if my health is a major burden to him and maybe its time for me to get an inhome nurse... Some people just arent built to take care of anyone else. And maybe idk, maybe he is starting to see that I a really honestly, not in love with him at this point anymore. Maybe tomorrow or next month or next whatever, or maybe never will I be back in love with him.It seemed to me like the exact day that he was hired on as a manager at his workplace, things shifted. He dropped a huge bomb on me. I had to then last night, inform my family that I'm doing gene testing to see if i am a carrier of a breast cancer gene for reasons. They're also testing for thyroid & ovarian seeing as those run heavily. My chances before gene testing was uncomfortable to talk to our 3 kids about but they were as accepting as they can be, as their Mother my main priority should be my health so that Incan get better so that I can continue to do what I freaking LOVE DOING SO MUCH!!!!!! Like I truly do so why continually, continually say outloud in front of the 3 kids that "well I've done all of this and all of this because you asked for help" and it all started over me asking him if he can take lily her cup of water since shes coughing so badly. My flu/asthma/sinus shit is awful and my heart problem make it hard for me to walk sometimes let alone climb stairs.... He's acting like he deserves a gold medal when im always keeping the house up and im not doing that. What im doing is showing him what all i have to do during the day, some updates on what i dod and whatever else i wanna send.

I told him that its unfair to us completely that he doesnt turn off "Manager" when he walks through the door. He had a conversation to me and said hes not gonna be able to shut that off when he comes home and he has to take on so much responsibilities and he feels like he needs to be inside the house alone without myself or the kids or the pets for like half a year to get his straight. Bruh. Like no. Just do better. Idk how many people told me that Id never do this and id never do that and here i am proving them wrong every single day.

But every time he speaks to me like this, I am taken back to a time where I was told "your mother never should've made you." At i think 4-5 years old? I am disabled for many reasons. And I can tell everyone all the time until I'm fucking blue in my own face that, when I say that I cant do something and I ask for help, the help is met with a "your legs work" or "you're capable. You just dont wanna wait" No duh. Thats why i said "now please". Would you rather I give you another reason to hit me 3x flat-cupped handed times on my face again and say that "If I wanted it right now and could have gotten it right now for myself"

Im tired of asking for help and being treated like nothing other than a burden and his biggest fucking problem. How was I supposed to know that I was going to this sick on your 2 days off and that every time I asked for anything, you were upset.

I guess i was right and I'm just a different person now because of trauma processing and healing. But being sick enough to make 4 separate appointments during the 2 month span and if this gets worse, this one too. So I feel like he wants me to say something to him or do something for him, but all Im getting from this is "do not ask me for anything". Isnt your spouse supposed to be the one taking care of you when youre sick? Hes already lost me emotionally. And right before our ten year wedding annivarsary. Cool.

Advice?

[residualmanifest]

jace 1-10. And 21

WOOHOO!!! ty naomh :) time to begin the questioning, answers under da readmore

WOW the formatting has gotten so annoying for posts . BUT

1, Do they have any crafting hobbies? Yes ! he's into whittling, it's an easy stim to do all you need is a pocket knife w a decent edge. He's thought of trying to do bigger projects than making little shapes, but has never gotten around to it. He's tried knitting with his sister but he's never gotten very far (and usually his stuff is pretty lopsided.) he loves woodworking also but since moving in with jenna there isn't enough space for it (or rather, thats his excuse . makes him think too much of their parents.)

2 Do they wear perfume/cologne? If so what scents do they prefer? sometimes! i won't lie to you, if he doesn't need to go anywhere or is just hanging out at home he usually forgets deodorant even . doesn't think about it LOL . but he likes the bath and body works sprays, goes for the fall themed scents like apple crisp . likes amber currant focused ones ! 3 Do they enjoy cooking?

not a single bit . enjoys food well enough but hates taking the time to prepare anything, so if he doesn't get food w friends or get roped into making something w his sister then he'll eat chips (EDIT: FORGOT ABOUT HIS LUST FOR GRILLED CHEESE . the only thing he likes to make or will .) 4 Do they enjoy baking?

this is definitely contradicted, but Jace is pretty contradicting but he likes making bread and cookies . in his mind, cooking and baking are very, very different . if given the opportunity he would definitely love to make something for wally and oscar !! and in the absence of hanging out with rose, he's definitely missing it 5 Do they have any tattoos? If so what are they and do they have any special meaning

(looks up his page to make sure i dont forget details) He has light grey barbed wire tattoos over his top surgery scars (anchor style) . you can still kind of see the scarring but not as much . He also has a pink hibiscus tattoo on the right side, front of his neck, if you were facing him it would be the left side of it ! also has a cluster of three green hyacinths on his left inner wrist, with dark green vines going from the bottom of his palm to the start of his inner elbow . he also has a terrible stick n poke garfield tattoo on his left outer thigh . ive waffled on whether it'd be an unnamed friend who gave it to him, or rose, but it hink its funnier if rose did it :)c theres also one i dont have on his sheet, because it wouldn't show up in the campaign and i can dm you it ... :)c 6 If they were badly injured, and for whatever reason couldn’t go to a hospital, who would they go to for help?

pre-campaign, he would go to his sister, otherwise contact rose or try to take care of it himself . during campaign he would reach out to wally first thing !! 7 Do they have any unusual fears?

going off the cuff rn cause ive BEEN considering what he would have, a fear of bugs is pretty common . but i'll certainly say he gets very nervous around bananas . one time when he was a kid he was looking thru them for his dad while going shopping and there was a bunch of bugs underneath a very neglected bunch . and well, he can't stomach them anymore and is always Very Sure one would just burst open full of bugs !!!! also open flames (campfires are ehhh . candles are okay) no good reason LOL . 8 Do they collect anything? If so what and why?

bottlecaps . likes to try a lot of different local beverages esp in glass bottles for this reason, he has a corkboard with a bunch of different ones organized by color hung in his room ! likes to see the unique designs people come up with . also novelty shot glasses , rose got him a couple touristy ones on a trip out of town, and makes it a point to get him any cool ones that catch his eye . 9 When they’re sick what do they do to feel better?

get under as many blankets as possible and play anything by simon & garfunkel . THE MORE WEIGHT THE BETTER !!!!!!!! and ghost energy drinks . 10 Do they have any regrets?

not standing up for jenna more, growing up . Its ABSOLUTELY one of those "you were a kid what could you do!" kind of deals but he still carries it on his shoulder . Wishes he paid more attention in math class, definitely skated out of there by the skin of his teeth and for some reason when he lies awake at night he thinks some things would be better if he could do algebra without a calculator . not being more honest about his feelings . 21 What is more important to them, friends or family? oooooooo . this is a doozy . its SO damn circumstantial !!! stuck on this . stuckstuckstuck . my heart says he would say friends are . don't get me wrong, his sister means the world to him . and his cousin, despite how they butt heads, is too . but there are some friends who are irreplaceable . so, friends . definitely .

THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTIONS !!!!!!!!!! i'm copying all this down and putting it in his folder so i dont forget what ive said .

[sixtypackofcrayola]

Ooooohh❤️❤️❤️ Lovesick Monkey King and Maquace are adorable!! Can we have MK, RedSon and Nezha affected by a love potion too?? Pretty please🙏🙏

well since ya asked so nicely

✰ LOVESICK (Part 2) ✰

Fandom; LEGO Monkie Kid Character List; MK, Red Son, Nezha Genre(s); big helping of Fluff for ya Pronouns; None used for Reader TW/CW; None

A/N; you can read lovesick for macaque and wukong here if ya like + i dont think nezha can get any kinda sick but its ok :smile:

🌷

-I think Nezha would realize what’s going on and try to fight the effects for a bit, but inevitably he’s done for  -And once they are completely under the effects, they’re like a mix of Wukong’s clingyness and Macaque’s nonstop flirting -Ik I say this a lot, but ohu boy -Nezha isn’t usually super touchy, but once you come around/he sees you he is all over you. Craves their partner’s touch even more, loves feeling you close to him, holding your hands or face -Put your arms around his waist they will internally lose it -They’ll gently take your hand and kiss it n call you prince/princess -He’s oddly poetic with his words sometimes when he flirts with you, expect a bit of flowery language  -Suddenly very forward but also easy to fluster so keep that in mind -Smoother tone, speaks a bit softer  -Again, expect flowers -A little more protective, kinda looms behind you. If you two happened to be in public with them disguised, they wouldn’t give anyone you talk to a dirty look per-say, but there’s definitely this aura. Not inherently scary, but enough to make someone slightly more careful with what they say to you -He seems to smile more with you too, no matter what you’re doing. They’re enthralled by how you manage to be stunning with every little movement -If he could still partially think clearly and didn’t know they were under some kind of influence, he’d think they were definitely sick. Except they don’t get sick.. so after that he’s lost -I’m not gonna say the title.  -Alternate scenario; they’re like half under the effects bc Nezha is just less affected by things like this. And they say and do all these things but occasionally after there’ll be like a moment where they partially snap out of it and just; “That was so- Gods, I’m sorry for that, I- I mean it’s not like it isn’t true! It’s just.. bolder than how I would’ve.. Sorry-” ‘n get a little flustered over what he said to you -Their thoughts are flooded with you and it’s not that they hate it, it’s just overwhelming, all these loving emotions suddenly amplified by like 20 -”When does this wear off...”

🔥

-Someone’s getting a bit possessive  -Will always try to keep you close to them, they want you to themselves -And it’s not really harmful,, they wouldn’t dare hurt you and they’re not gonna capture you or anything. If you do wanna leave they’ll eventually let you! They just really want you with them,, -Not as physically clingy as some of the others, in fact, you touching him at all especially if it’s a loving touch like holding his hands, arm, face or kissing him anywhere will set his hair aflame -And if you weren’t already together, they would try to deny at least some of what he’s feeling towards you and how their face gets so red when you merely lean on them, but inevitably they’ll break as well -Obsessed with you, everything you do, your reactions to him. They’re suddenly even more aware of every little detail that makes you you and he’s simply falling faster -Tries to impress you with his magic or one of his newer creations and if you say you like it he’s beyond happy. I can just see the floating hearts my guy -Will get you anything you ask for. Want this specific item? Say no more! Craving a certain food? I mean, in his words he’s practically a professional cook so don’t even worry about it -Also might ask you to marry them, y’know as one does. A few times throughout the day when you’re just doing anything. Lovesick, bro. -Roll credits -And later would actually approach you with a ring and everything and ask you to marry them,, like, right then. -And if you say it’s probably too early for that he’ll get a bit upset, but they’ll ask if you’ll marry them one day at least because they are absolutely in love with you and if ya say yes they’ll still give you the ring and promise to get you an even better one when you do get married! 

💫

-Basically, like father like son -Also annoyingly sweet and cheesy with all the pet names he can think of, except he’ll actually use your name sometimes -Distracted by you while doing anything. The most wholesome thoughts from this man he just really wants a bunch of kisses from you and for you to tell he’s pretty because he’ll certainly be telling you that all day! -Stares at you lovingly if you’re farther from him, heart eyes and all -Pages full of doodles of you in his sketchbook with little hearts around -If you aren’t together quite yet he will definitely be embarrassed of and hiding those from anyone after this wears off -Also gets flustered with even little touches you give him and he’s tryna play it off but... no -Praises you for just normal things you do. You could just be wiping down a counter and he’d be like; “Wow, you’re uh- Really good at cleaning! Heh-” -Attempts to flirt, half fails but it’s cute -Either he trips somehow and you catch him and the way you look at him has his heart doing flips or he’s distracted by your beautiful face when he tries to- -Will ramble about you if he’s with others even if you’re around and he’ll say the sweetest things about you but he’s been going on for several minutes -Subtly but no so subtly tries to keep you to himself for the day. He doesn’t really wanna force you to stay with him but- -”Oh haha sorry! Me and [Name] are- gonna go doing something right now! Together! Us, together! Going to- somewhere! Yep, haha- uh, my bad but we gotta go, kay byeee!”  -Wants to spend as much time near you as possible, he loves looking at your face and he definitely will say that getting lost in your eyes line or something what’d I tell ya -Give him kisses all over his face he will absolutely melt and be a flustered giggling mess it’s what he’s wanted all day -Might purposefully let you win in Monkey Mech which he would never do otherwise so it got you a little more concerned,, orrr he’d try to play his best but the way you look so confident and determined and excited while trying to beat him has him distracted again ( Fin ~  ✰ )

[thenastyotherblog]

Disclaimer: Im not a transperson not do I wear a binder, I did my best doing a bit of research of chest binding before writing this and I hope is accurate, if not please do let me now! 

@phoenixcharged​ Hope you like it! 

Your binder is killing you.

You were supposed to take it off like what? Two hours ago? But Mr. Stubborn thinks he can handle the pain until lunchtime.

"Its only a little bit of back pain" You thought, foolishly. Your back has endure so much already, whats are some couple of extra hours?

I will tell you what are a couple of hours.

Its not only back pain at this point, is the pressure on your sides, the unholy pain on your chest, the pressure on your ribcage that makes you think of those videos of people crushing a macaroon apart.

Not to mention the fricking heat.

You feel like a steamead vegetable right now, a layer of sweat covering you whole.

Is disgusting.

Finally your class is over and you make a, discret, run to put all your papers and materials back into your bag. You want this thing off you. NOW.

"Hey Teach, got a second?" You resist the urge of sighing in distress as one of your students comes to you, they look apologetic from taking more of your time but they do seem like they need the extra help.

So you stay while in excruciating pain.

Now it feels like someone is trying to vacuum seal you, oh it hurts.

You are on your way to the bathroom, your vision a lit fuzzy, you are only thinking of sweet relif when you face-crash into something, someone?

"Hey, Teach!" Hizashi greets you cheerful. "I was going to pick you up about now! Didnt know you wanted your dosis of me as soon as possible!"

Oh yeah, you two had a little lunch date planned today. You didnt remember because the pain makes you numb.

You can only manage to give him some forceful chuckles, holy mother of god even that is leaving you without air. "Oh hey, Zash" Oh dont talk, why are you talking when it hurts this badly?

Hizashi is quick to realize something aint right with you, he is observant like that. Or maybe is because you look like you are about to hit the bucket any moment now.

"Hey, are you alright little listener? You look a bit…pale"

"Who? Me? Pssht" You wave your hand, trying to take a bit of the seriousness off the situation and while you do that try to straighten yourself up. FUCK. GRAVE MISTAKE. YOUR CHEST HURTS!

"Songbird whats wrong?" The cheerfuness of his voice is now replaced by serious worry. Awn man, you dont want to make him do that face, the "im worried sick about you face" you cant handle the guilt.

"Nothing! I swear!" You laugh some more, air rapidly leaving your, very very crushed lungs. "Lets go! I cant wait for-"

Why is the floor coming closer to you? Oh shit are you falling? You hear Hizashi scream your name as you hit the floor, HARD. You can still hear him say something tho you cannot really comprehend what it is; Oh is so hard to breathe, are you even breathing right now? It doesnt feel like it. You feel hot, like you been outside in the sun for too long. You are thirsty, would kill for a glass of water right now. . Your eyes take their sweet time to adjust as you slowly open your eyes, the infirmary roof lights greeting you. Wait, the infirmary? You try to pry your body up, a pair of hands appearing on your vision. Hizashi. Hizashi is here. "Easy now" He helps you to lift your upper body, adjusting the pillows behind you. You are so thanful for that cuz your back still hurts a lot. "He's awake"

"What- What happen?" You mumble, your throat is so dry.

Recovery girls makes her appearence, mumbling something about how dangerous that was and that you need to be more careful.

"Did you know you are wearing a size too small of binder?" There is no anger on her voice but you still feel like a kid being scolded.

"I- I didnt." You sheepely say, avoiding Hizashi's worry look. "I thought it was the correct size?"

The old lady just shake her head, handling you a pamphlet about chest binding. "It can be a bit tricky but you are supposed to wear a binder two times your size. Boy, how long have you been with the same Binder?" You can feel your cheeks burn. "No more binding for the rest of the day, you hear me? Let your poor ribs rest. And a new Binder is in order!"

"Are they gonna be ok?" Hizashi asks her, he carefully takes one of your hands, squezing it a little bit.

"Of course! I trust you will be here with him?" Hizashi only nods. "Wonderful! Then you can guide him throught the breathing excersices I told you!”

"Consider it done ma'am!"

Its an akward silence after Recovery Girl takes her leave. Honestly you are so embarrased that not only you faint in front of Hizashi but that he also carry you to the infirmary? And witness what an idiot you are? Two sizes bigger? You didnt know that! You think a grown ass trans man would know that, apparently not! You feel like crying but dont! That would be even more embarrasing!

"Lets go buy you a new Binder after class"

"Eh?"

Hizashi is still holding your hand, his whole body exhales relief now that you are awake. There is not even a trace of anger, even when he has the right to. "A cooler desing this time. Ok?” You smile as you gave him a little nod. "That's what I like to see! Now lets hit those breathing exercises!"

[plush-rabbit]

Straightforward Confessions

Request: Oh ok then maybe when you have time can you do dabi, Bakugo, Tomura and Toga himiko with female s/o who's very straightforward about liking them? Recently I saw a similar request somewhere but unfortunately it looks like it was deleted :( I hope this isn’t too much for you.

A/N: I did this as more of a confession type rather than an established relationship because i feel like they would know if you like them if youre in a relationship with them, so yeah. Sorry if its not what you wanted:P (also i dont know enough about canon bakugo so yeah?)

-

Bakugo Katsuki:

Katsuki is a bit rough around the edges but he’s growing. He’s maturing and trying to be more of a team player rather than facing everything by himself and trying to prove himself to others. He doesn’t have a secret soft side, but he is kind in his own way. He looks out for his allies and includes them in his plan. He’s admirable, having such a strong goal in mind. But, he’s still one who has focused his entire goal towards becoming a hero, not having time for any romantic relationships.

Telling him your feelings isn’t exactly the best idea. You can never be sure where you stand with him- he isn’t some flirt or tries to attract his classmates in any way so you aren’t even sure if he will return your feelings. The only thing that you can actually rely on is that he won’t spread around the fact that you like him and that he’ll be in his room before the clock even strikes ten. You knock on his door and just like every day and night before, his room is empty, and he’s already dressed in his pajamas.

Your words blurt out before you can even subtly make the conversation about feelings. It’s silent for a minute, his expression is neutral and somehow that makes it harder for you to read, unable to know what he feels- even if it were to be something negative, you just wish you could gauge his reaction. He clears his throat, telling you to leave his room. He’s anything but sweet in your moment of confession and somehow that makes you feel relieved- knowing that what you said doesn’t change anything out of the ordinary, at least that you hope.

He isn’t entirely sure about how to feel towards you or his reaction. He has a restless night, tossing and turning and when he wakes up, he still feels exhausted.The next day, he’s unable to go on about his day like he usually does- he stutters in his insults, his attention drifting back towards you and he’s less than pleased with it all. He’s never used to actually developing feelings for someone and when you came to confess to him, it caught him off guard. He’s unable to tell whether he actually has romantic feelings for you or not.

The next few days consist of Katsuki in his own mind, trying to figure out the feelings that he does have for you. He would rather not leave you in the dark especially when you had the courage to actually confess to him. He walks up to you, calling for your attention and when you meet his eyes, he tells you that he’ll take you out on a date- something simple- enough for him to gauge his feelings for you.

Dabi:

Dabi is a hard individual to read and interact with. He puts on a stoic demeanor, trying to act as if he’s unbothered by the people around him, but he isn’t. He’s crude with his words, not bothering to mince them, self-assured despite how his quirk hurts him, passive-aggressive, making snide comments and grinning widely at the misfortune of others. He’s a being who tries so hard to appear to not care, but the truth is, he cares deeply about those around him, but his views and passions are brighter than his emotions.

Confessing to the cremation villain is easy. He likes being alone for most of the time, retreating to his room and if you were to follow him and request entry, he’d more than likely allow you. When you do so, he only shouts back with an “it’s open” and the door squeaks as you push it open. He raises his hand in a greeting and returns his attention to a magine, the thin pages pressed between his fingertips. When you call his name, he gives you his full attention, arms spread and legs extended, the magazine closed without a bookmark to return him.

It’s surprisingly easy to confess when there are no distractions around. He takes your confession with consideration. His eyes wide and head tilting, only for his features to morph into a wicked grin. He’ll humor you, tell you okay and when you can huff with a disappointed look, he waves his hand away. Once you’re gone, his smile quickly falls, his hand dragging down his face and his head knocking against the wall behind him.

You like him- that’s certainly something new. He isn’t entirely sure of the feelings he has towards you. He rubs his thumb and index finger together, trying to figure out what he does feel about you. He doesn’t want to string you along and give you any false sense of hope. Yet, he’s hardly aware of his own feelings towards you. While he prefers to be alone, he does enjoy spending his time with you and has the habit of trying to impress you when you two are out on mission together. Perhaps it is something akin to a crush or an emotion that mimics yours.

Time passes for him to actually gather his thoughts and feelings into something cohesive. However, during that, he has to avoid you and while that is less than pleasant, he needs to sort out his own feelings first. You were straightforward with him, it’s only right that Dabi confesses to you as you confessed the way to him. He goes to your room, sits beside you and tells you that he also has feelings for you.His eyes are on yours, his hand on his knee with his ring and pinky finger outstretched as if trying to grab your hand.

Shigaraki Tomura:

Tomura isn’t able to gauge feelings well considering he hasn’t had interaction with people other than what All For One allowed near him. He’s a born leader, focused and planning ahead, desperate to be on top. He has a strong will that he set out for himself that makes you believe that he actually has a chance at winning despite the odds. His personality is something painted in gold and you can’t help but want to admire him and want to be with him.

You speak to him in private, hoping that no one else will hear your confession to him. The only thing you can hope for in case of rejection is that he’ll treat you the same. You manage to get him when he’s alone, the door to his closed behind you and you sit beside him, asking him to just listen to what you have to say without interruptions. You tell him that you like him, plain and simple, that you have romantic feelings for him and while he doesn't have to return them, you also wanted to tell him. You don’t mention how you can’t seem to control your beating heart when around him.

New to these types of feelings- especially those that involve something more than friendship or hatred- he’s unsure of how to respond. The silence is enough for you to recognize that he needs to be alone with his thoughts. You pat his knee, telling him that he doesn’t have to respond, but you just wanted to tell him. You give his knee a squeeze and give him a soft smile, standing up and exiting his room, closing the door behind you, leaving a villain alone to fester with their thoughts.

The following days are odd. He’s in a mix between wanting to talk to you and be around you, desperate to figure out what should happen next, but he also wants to avoid you. You left him to fester with his thoughts and he has. It’s a mess of emotions that go on inside of him. He doesn’t know how he feels about you. This group is as close as he’s ever got to friendship and freedom, romance was something completely off the table, discarded and told it was worthless. He’s unsure how to feel about you.

He knows that he likes you, but he isn’t sure if he likes you simply because you’re one of the few who treated him as a person rather than a villain first or if he actually likes you in a romantic sense. Tomura figures he must like you back- he thinks about you constantly, but confessing to you is difficult. But, he doesn’t want you to think of him anything less for being inexperienced with relationships. He comes up to you, his gaze on you, trying not to look away while doing so. He clears his throat, his hand against his neck as he tells you that he does have some sort of feelings for you but that he’s new to anything romantic.

Toga Himiko:

Himiko is an energetic one. She wears her heart on her sleeve, falling for those who have strong hearts and love struck once she does. There’s a lot to like about her- her energy, her excitement, her personality and how she laughs and seems to constantly move when just standing. You were drawn to her, your heart pounding in your chest, and you could only take so much of it before you confessed to her.

Once you confess to her, she is a bit dumbfounded at first. She’ll stare blankly at you for a minute, her head tilted and hands are relaxed as she processes your words. After a moment of silence, she's smiling wide and wrapping her arms around you, her face nuzzling into the crook of your neck. She pulls away, her hands never leaving your body as she comments how happy she is to hear that, and that she returns your feelings. Her lips peck at the corner of your lips, a pink tint dusting across her face as she confirms that you do have feelings for her. She accepts your feelings for her with an open heart, holding your hand tightly and wanting to show off that you two are something more than friends.

After the initial day of feelings being confessed, she’ll avoid you the next day. The night before, she was fine, chatting with you the night before, holding your hand and painting your nails to match hers. The next day, she avoids you. You don't see her in the morning, and nor does anyone else- or at least they merely shrug and mention that she was feeling sick and locked herself in her room.

As a villain, her options for romance are limited and having you confess to her is almost too good to be true. She’s unsure of what to say, of how to even act other than the girl who’s in love. She’ll call for you, shoot you a quick message for you to meet her in her room where she confesses her fears. For once, you see a more serious side of her, her eyes downcast and grin gone, replaced with only a slight frown.

It’s obvious that she likes you as well, returning your feelings, but she’s just so nervous about the relationship- the woulds and the ifs. She wants to be close to you but she also fears that she’ll be too much during it. A reassurance about the relationship moving at a pace comfortable for her calms her worries, her smile gentle and her cheeks tinting with a pink hue. She hugs you tight, her perfume light and sweet like candy as she nuzzles her face into your neck.

[professor-pants]

You guys! SamBucky AU where Sam is the original Captain America. So instead of Steve proving himself by jumping on a grenade you have Sam: kind, intelligent, strong, driven. Easy choice. Sam and Bucky meet in the army they annoy each other at first but begin to get along. Maybe they bond over having a younger sister. Sam is chosen for the program but instead of getting super strength he gets wings. And maybe some other bird themed super powers like good eyesight or something idk what birds do. It takes him a while to get good with his wings maybe they are weak at first or it takes time for all the feathers to grow in and Sam and Bucky practice together in the evenings. One day Sam takes a dive and gets hurt. Que protective Bucky, hurt/comfort, homoerotic bandaging of injuries, all the good stuff. Eventually Sam gets good at flying and does shows like Steve did. Theres some angst cause Sam feels like hes being treated as a freak show. Sam and Bucky make out a few times or start sleeping together or whatever. Then Bucky gets caught like in canon and Sam looses his mind he absolutely needs to find Bucky cause hes kind of falling in love with him and Bucky doesn't even know. So Sam finds Bucky and the crash into each other and its sweet and angsty and everything! Then theres the fight on the train and things go a little differently because Sam can fly. So i imagine Sam fighting and seeing Bucky fall and hes about to fly after hiym but he gets knocked out before he can so the last thing he sees is the love of his life falling to his death. Sam makes it out of the fight somehow. when he wakes up the first thing he does is try to find Bucky even though he probably has a concussion. So he flies back to where he thinks Bucky fell and he looks for ages and he doesn't find him. Sam is heartbroken and he blames himself. Bucky becomes the winter soldier same as in canon. The serum they give Bucky is the same stuff he gets in canon maybe it was inspired by Sam's super serum instead of a direct copy idk.

So Sam gets frozen and he wakes up in the 21st century and he keeps working for the military or whatever Steve did idk i dont really remember that movie. In this AU Steve lives in the 2020s instead of the 1940s. He and Sam meet where Sam did his counseling they are both there for help with PTSD. Steve wouldnt have had the serum but maybe modern medicine worked well enough for him to enlist idk. Anyway they become besties instead of Steve asking Sam about Riley he asks him about Bucky. Sam wears a lot of loose fitting clothes to cover his wings when he's not on super hero duty.

Ok so now for the fight with the winter soldier! Sam is so relieved to see Bucky: his best friend, the love of his life, the last familiar face in the world. Bucky obviously remembers none of this their fight is super intense and angsty. Instead of ripping Sam's wing off he breaks it so Sam can't fly until it heals. Sam is super confused and sad and hopeful that he can save Bucky. Sam failed Bucky once he wouldnt do it again. Sam tracks Bucky all around the world like in canon. He doesn't give a shit that hes supposed to be Captain America he has a duty to his best friend. He doesn't spend to much time trying to jog Bucky's memory. He does his best to meet Bucky where he is and get to know the person he's become. Sam does his best to answer Bucky's questions as his memories come back. He decides not to tell him they were in love quite yet. Maybe Bucky and Sam fall in love all over again maybe Bucky remembers that they were in love already. If you really want slow burn Bucky remembers but the both decide not to pursue any kind of relationship until Bucky feels more comfortable/has his mind back fully. Then everything with Thanos happens Sam and Bucky fade away together and reappear 5 years later they are both really sick of losing time. Sam never gives up the shield so they go into all the flag smasher stuff as a solid team. Joaquin Torres sees Sam's wings and decides to make wings of his own using his sick engineering skills. Joaquin becomes the first Falcon. Sam and Bucky live in a little house in Louisiana. Sam's family isn't there anymore but it still feels like home. Steve is good with computers so he gets to by the guy in the chair Joaquin, Sam, and Bucky are the Captain America team. They kick ass. Personally im a fan of Sambuckytorres so yeah Sam and Bucky get married and Joaquin is their boyfriend and they all live together in a cute little house with Alpine the cat.

The End