#IT'S SO UNFAIR AND HE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER

[tovibeornottovibe]

Club Rats

Azriel x Fem!OC

Azriel and Merrin have been meeting in clubs for months now. Sometimes, they ditch Rita's for dinner, and most of the time, they end up sleeping together. It's better than relying on the skills of strangers, and they like each other, probably more than either of them would admit. This time, they drink far, far too much, make some regrettable decisions that get them thrown out, and share a moment more intimate than they ever have before. [2.7k words]

warnings: excessive drinking, mentions of spiking and Azriel not taking that as seriously as you should!, self-destructive behaviour, mentions of sex (no smut tho), Azriel being the rude, snarky, imperfect male that he is (not towards the OC, to everyone else)

Prefer to read on Ao3? [this is a series there! let me know if you want me to post those fics on here too (:]

“Azriel.”

He looks up. The sound of the sea washes over him as he sits there, legs hanging off the edge of the dock, with his thigh brushing hers. His wings feel like deadweight, like his muscles aren’t even connected to his body. She’s settled in the crook of the right one, and every time she breathes, her shoulder nudges him where he wants her to put her tongue.

It’s maybe four-in-the-morning. He doesn’t know. They got kicked out of Rita’s not more than an hour ago. Merrin bashed in some male’s teeth. Azriel bashed in his jaw. His shadows won’t tell him why she did it, and he doesn’t know why he helped. 

For the briefest moment, he remembers that they might have banned them for it. He huffs out a laugh.

Both he and Merrin are very, very drunk. He’s not entirely convinced they didn’t get spiked. It should concern him, but they’re both suffering, and that’s a comfort. 

They’ve been trying  to convince each other that they were just in this for the sex for the past few minutes. They like each other, but it’s just release, you know?

Head heavy from the alcohol, he cranes his neck forward to look at her face. He distinctly thinks she is the most beautiful female he’s ever seen, and guiltily goes through why she’s prettier than Elain. It’s totally unfair and he knows thinking about it makes him an asshole. Merrin’s hair is a nicer colour and she lacks the etherealness of High Fae that unsettles him. She fits better in his arms; she’s tall enough that he can rest his chin on her head without bending down when they embrace, and when they’re in bed, he can tangle their legs together and she can settle into the curve of his body without issue. Of course, these things were fantasy with Elain.

He swallows thickly. “Yeah?”

She hesitates and something in his gut twists, like he can tell she’s about to say something serious. 

“Are we—are you happy?”

For some reason, that makes him laugh. It’s a horrible, bitter, broken kind of laughter. It’s utterly without warmth. He hates it, actually.

“No,” he says, and it’s true. “Are you?”

She offers him a smile. “Not at all,” she says. “What a fucking pair we make, eh?” Something inside him recoils at the thought of her putting herself at his level. Giggling, she presses her forehead into his shoulder and clutches his forearm where the scars on his skin meet the unmarred flesh. Then she sighs. “Gods,” she says like she’s just discovered the secret to life, “you’re actually an important person, and you’re miserable.”

“It’s not all cocktail parties and fountains of champagne,” he says.

“No,” she laughs. “You torture people for a living.”

Though he stiffens, not even that can knock him out of whatever it was they drank. Feeling him tense, she shifts so her chin is resting on his shoulder, and she laughs again when she sees the look on his face.

“It doesn’t bother me,” she says. “That’s kinda fucked, right?”

It’s stupid that it makes him feel good. It’s stupid that he likes hearing that. Some days, he doesn’t think it bothers him either. And yeah, that is kinda fucked. He kills people for his brother. A lot of the time, they probably don’t even deserve it. Yet, here he is, with the most gorgeous female in the world, drunk off his ass with her, and she doesn’t care that he tortures people for a living.

“It is,” he says. “Really fucked.”

Merrin grabs his hand and intertwines their fingers, and he lets her because he wants her to touch him. All of the time. He thinks about her so often that one day it’ll probably get him killed, but if he goes out with her on his mind, he’ll consider it a pretty decent way to die. Cassian would throttle him for saying that. Rhys and Feyre too. Mor would look at him like he’d lost his mind and call him an idiot.

Merrin would make a joke and smile at him.

“I don’t think we’re fucking tonight, Azriel.”

He hums in agreement. “We’re not in a state to do that anyway,” he says, “but I would if we were.”

“I would too.” She goes back to resting her cheek against his shoulder and he can smell the shampoo she uses. Gently, she rubs circles with her thumb on the back of his palm. It’s probably more intimate than they have ever been in bed and the feeling runs up his arm and into his brain. He traces her reddened, bloodied knuckles. “Wanna just sleep?”

He raises a brow at her. “Together?”

“Literally. In the same bed. Just sleep.”

“...Okay.”

“Come on then,” she says softly, pulling herself up more gracefully than the amount of drink in her system should allow for, then she’s tugging him up too, despite the fact that he’s heavier. With the amount of force it takes, she almost loses her balance and tips backwards, but he catches her at the waist. “Back to mine?”

In response, his shadows languidly start to swirl at his shoulders. They’re objecting to the presence of her cat, but the chances are that it’ll be asleep, or otherwise outside, since it likes exploring the city in the early hours of the morning. 

Raskal meows at the bedroom door at inconvenient times: sometimes when they’re asleep; sometimes when they’re in the middle of something else. It’s so achingly domestic that Azriel can’t even be annoyed. Merrin always comes back after letting Raskal out and buries her face into the crook of his neck, clings to his torso like he might disappear if she didn’t. She blames it on the cold, but she’s from the Winter Court and never gets chilly. If he’s awake enough, he pulls her on top of him and cards his hands through her hair, usually in an attempt to lull her back to sleep.

Hand-in-hand, they stumble back through the city to her apartment. Merrin makes him crouch down so she can pet a stray cat for what seems like half an hour, but it’s really only for a few minutes. Passersby stare at them and look away when he glares. No one will mention what they see, not to the rest of the Inner Circle; that’s asking for trouble, and the city has had enough. 

He has no idea why he’s letting her do this with him. They aren’t together. They’re club rats who keep finding themselves in each other’s company and more often than not, they end up sleeping together because they trust each other and it’s easier than gaining the attention of a stranger. 

Though, recently, they’ve been ditching Rita’s for dinner, and he’s glad because these days he’s eating less and less when he’s in the House of Wind. Merrin takes him to little bistros he knows only by name. He brings her to fancy restaurants and she always laughs because they look so out-of-place with her in slinky, little dresses and with his lipstick-stained cheeks that the High Fae actually turn up their noses. She once ate a whole meal with her fingers to really push it, and they couldn’t kick them out because he’s a member of the Inner Circle. Things like that are why he likes her company. She’s so unconcerned about what other people think of her in the way that the rest of his family pretend they are. 

She’s a smart person. She understands that people assume things about the nature of their relationship, about her, and about him, even though they know nothing. More than once, she’s been called a whore, and, more than once, he’s scared someone shitless for it. And she doesn’t care. Not that she should be ashamed, but Azriel isn’t certain that Merrin ever feels shame for anything she does. Regret, maybe, but not humiliation. 

People, the ones whose opinions are worth listening to, like Merrin. She’s compassionate and generous and she can make even him roar with laughter. She isn’t those things because she wants approval for them, she just is. It’s so rare that he meets someone who has no ulterior motive, who speaks their mind and says what they want with no caveats.

Azriel can’t tell if he’s in love with her or if they’re just friends who fuck sometimes. If they’re really friends at all. He doesn’t know which of those things he even wants. He knows that he likes holding her hand. Likes the sound of her voice and that his heart stutters sometimes when she laughs. He could sit and listen to her go on tangents about anything and everything for hours on end. 

Her choice of dress tonight is driving him insane: the black velvet hugs her curves and it barely reaches her mid-thigh. Open at the back, the expanse of her smooth skin that he has dragged his hands down countless times teases him. He wants to pull at the curls in her hair.

When they’re in bed, he’s almost insatiable. He’ll stay between her thighs and do pretty much anything she asks of him. Seeing her flawless form when she punched that male earlier sent twitching heat racketing through him. But so does waking up to her making tea, wearing his shirt, humming to herself. 

It’s a lie that he isn’t happy. Here, on this random street in Velaris, with his head pounding and his legs not quite working as they should, in Merrin’s blissful presence, he’s happier than ever.

Maybe he does love her.

Would she have invited him back to her apartment just to sleep if all she wanted from him was sex?

Would it feel so normal to be with her, to recognise the scent of her even in a crowd of writhing bodies in a club, if he didn’t feel something for her? 

Is it strange that he sleeps better in bed with her curled into his side than he ever has in the townhouse? That she can chase away his bad dreams just by tightening her grip on his waist? That he hasn’t had anyone else because the thought of sleeping with another makes him feel ill?

He can’t figure it out and maybe doesn’t want to right now.

He squeezes her hand and drags her away from the stray, leading her down alleyways so they can get to the townhouse where she owns the top-floor apartment. The stairwell is in no way designed for Illyrians, so his wings scrape against the walls. She's pushing him up in front of her so he goes quicker and doesn’t have to endure the discomfort for so long. They’re definitely stamping about and waking her neighbours.

But they’ve undoubtedly done that before. He’s reminded of the time he carried her upstairs and didn’t wait until they were at her door before he pulled her underwear down. Merrin shamelessly moaned his name particularly loudly halfway up and complained in the morning that the female who lives below her might not cat-sit for her on account of disturbed sleep. He’d snickered. She smacked him in the arm.

Not tonight, he reminds himself. Tonight, they’re sleeping off whatever was in their drinks.

When her front door clicks shut behind them, he almost pins her against it and kisses her. It’s only her ducking under his arm and taking him to her bedroom by grabbing his shirt which stops him. He can kiss her in bed, he thinks. Not with any expectations. He just wants to.

“I think I lied earlier,” she says, pulling at the ties of her dress before he takes over for her wordlessly, letting her continue. “I am happy sometimes. I just don’t think I’m content. They’re different, right?” She peers over her shoulder at him when his fingers still at the small of her back, the dress starting to slip off her as he nears the final tie. 

“They are,” he replies. “I don’t think I’m content either.” Then he undoes the final tie and the dress falls to the floor in a heap of black velvet. She steps out of her stupidly high heels and kicks them towards the door. 

He’s absolutely not focusing on the fact that she’s left wearing nothing but lacy, black panties. He’s not thinking about the fact she’s topless as she disappears into the bathroom to clean off her makeup. He does not care that when she comes back and he’s lying on her bed in his underwear that she picks up his shirt and drapes it around herself to sleep in.

Instead of going to her side, Merrin climbs on top of him, her knees in the space between his hips and his wings, and he instinctively curls his arm around her to pull her down to him. She’s practically pinning him down with her arms braced against the pillow below his head. Despite the Autumn chill, she’s warm.

He gets his kiss. It’s tender, slow, and without heat. Her lips are soft and he lets her push her tongue in his mouth lazily. They’re uncoordinated and a little messy, but it’s fine, he doesn’t care because it’s her. It feels like they’re the only two people in the world, like all things have led to right here, right now, and he thinks that everything that’s happened to him has been worth it. When they separate, she presses chaste, wet kisses on his cheeks and along his jaw and makes him smile. 

“What would make you content, Az?” she asks quietly.

He could say lots of things, most of them he shouldn’t admit to because they’re both still drunk and it’s a bad idea to make serious decisions when your head feels like lead. 

But…

“Just—stay there,” he says, shaking the vulnerability from his tone, sliding his hands under the shirt and settling them at her hips. He refrains from toying with the waistband of her underwear.

Merrin kisses the crest of his brow and his cheekbones. “What?” she asks, smiling when he starts to blush. “For the whole night?” He hums confirmation. She whispers against his lips, “That would make you content?”

“If I wake up with you on top of me too.” The distance between them is closed. He runs his fingers along the back of her thigh while his other hand creeps up the dip of her spine, pulling her impossibly closer until they’re chest-to-chest and he can feel how her nipples have pebbled through her—his—shirt. Of her own accord, she shifts her hips a little lower until she’s sitting on his pelvis, giving him just a hint of friction. He tuts and pulls away. “What happened to just sleeping, Merrin?”

They need to rest. At the same time, he also needs to know how wet she’ll be if he sinks a finger into her tight heat. She’s always so… reactive. Learning all her sensitive spots has been a lesson he never wants to finish. She isn’t shy about showing him. 

She catches his hand before he can satisfy his curiosity.

“Just reminding you of what we would be doing if we hadn’t drunk that last bottle of liqueur,” she says, shimmying even lower so she can rest her head on his chest, slotting her legs between his thighs. 

He sighs a laugh, his eyelids suddenly heavy. “Like I needed reminding.” When he rests his free hand on the back of her head, dipping his fingers into the fine hair at the top of her neck, he feels her melt against him and fully relax. He tugs the covers and pulls them over the both of them. “What would make you content?” he asks softly, letting himself sync his breathing with the rise and fall of her shoulders, with the soft puffs of air he can feel on his pectoral where his tattoos mingle with her flaring curls. Somehow, the sight of them doesn’t make him wince as often as it used to, but he sees them more these days. Merrin likes to trace the lines of ink in the mornings.

“I don’t know,” she says, “‘suppose we’ll find out if I feel the same as you when we wake up.”

He blames the drinking, but he hopes that she does.

[marvelavengerspovs1]

Chapter 2- Ruinous

Pairing: Bucky x F!reader

Warnings: Lots and lots of angst (sorry but not sorry), toxic behaviors between Bucky and Reader, 18+ MDNI

Length: 1.8k

Summary: You and Bucky are going through a rough patch. Is it something worth fixing?

A/N: Did I write this when I should’ve been studying for an exam? Yes, but I couldn’t help it!

I do not give consent for my work to be translated, copied, or sold!

Bucky stares at the pieces of the whiskey glass on the floor. Little droplets of the whiskey mixed with the Asgardian liquor stained the wall and the floor. It was unfair, you lashing out at him. You knew his struggles, his demons. And he told you it wasn’t your fault.

But he knew, deep down, that you were being fair. You had to do what was good for you. And right now, that wasn’t him.

Bucky collapses on the couch, his head in his hands. He knows that he acted like an asshole. He knows that you deserve better than that. So why couldn’t he change? Why couldn’t he stop lashing out?

He doesn’t have the answer. He wants to, but it’s like he can’t control what he’s doing. So he gets up, grabs another glass and pours himself a hefty amount of Asgardian liquor and whiskey, and grabs the mostly untouched box of cigarettes from his secret cupboard.

-

You wake up cold. You felt the emptiness beside you and slowly opened your eyes. You’re not home, you realize. The explosive fight with Bucky happened. You leaving your shared apartment happened. You staying the night at Natasha's happened.

You stare up at the ceiling, trying to think. How can your relationship be saved? How could you leave the relationship? The decision is daunting to say the least.

To start off, Bucky and you have been together for years. You know each other inside and out. Well, you used to.

You shake your head and try to think more.

Bucky has a short temper, quick to anger. But it was never with you. When you fought, it typically wasn’t anger that made you scared. He always made sure that you were trying to understand his side.

You shake your head. You couldn’t stop contradicting yourself. If you thought about a good thing about Bucky, a negative would follow. The whole situation is confusing for you.

You decide that laying in bed isn’t helping your decision. You get up and make the bed, trying to be a good guest. You leave the room to find Natasha in the kitchen making breakfast.

She offers you a small smile. “Morning, want some?”

You look at the pan and see eggs. You scrunch your nose.

“No thanks, I can’t even think about eating right now.” You sigh and hop up on one of the counters.

Natasha places her spatula down and leans on the opposite counter to look at you. “I’m guessing you didn’t get much sleep.”

“Well I did sleep, it wasn’t very restful though.” You yawn and shrug.

Natasha nods. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I just don’t know what more I can say, you know?” You feel your eyes begin to water again. “I knew about his baggage, his nightmares, who he is. And I fell for him hard and fast. And now he’s going backwards and refusing to get help. All of the bad doesn’t negate the good, but his recent actions are things I can’t overlook.”

Natasha hums and pushes a lock of hair behind her ear. “Maybe this is something you need to talk to him about.”

You quickly wipe under your eyes with a sniff. “Is that a good idea?”

Natasha pushes herself off of the counter to stand in front of you. “Are you scared that he’s going to do anything irrational?”

You shake your head. Even though Bucky isn’t acting totally like himself, he’s not an idiot.

Natasha nods. “Then you need to have this conversation with him. Maybe he can tell you his side of things and maybe that’ll change things for you.”

You think about what she said. On one hand, you know that talking to Bucky would maybe clarify some things for you. On the other hand, it may cause another fight. But it was something you were willing to risk.

-

You unlock the front door, the stench of Asgardian liquor and smoke filling your nose. You see Bucky on the couch, a cigarette in his hand.

He takes a drag before turning to you. “Where were you?”

You frown at his hand. Bucky follows your gaze. He knows you hate it when he smokes. Smoking is one of the few things he picked up again when he felt stressed. But he told you that he stopped because of how much you hated it. Now you know he lied.

“Natasha’s.” You mutter.

Bucky scoffs at this and puts out the cigarette. “Of course you were.”

You furrow your eyebrows. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He stands up. “It means I’m tired of you always running to her when we fight.”

“How is that any different than you going to Steve?”

“Because Steve is Steve. He’s my best friend.”

You let out a humourless laugh. “You’re telling me that just because Steve is your best friend he’s better than Natasha? She’s not some stranger.”

“Well she’s basically one to me, you spend so much time with her.”

“Well maybe I wouldn’t if you weren’t an asshole!” You raise your voice.

Bucky clenches his jaw. “So it’s my fault that you always run to her?”

“Sorry I don’t feel like I can come home!” You yell at him sarcastically.

He furrows his brows. “What, you don’t feel safe?”

“Look at you now! You’re getting angry with me for wanting space and hanging out with Natasha. Why would I come home if this is what I’m coming home to?”

“All because of what happened yesterday? Is that why you don’t want to come home?”

“No, I don’t want to come home because I’m scared of you! I’m scared that you’re moving backwards and this isn’t something that I can help you with. And… I’m scared that this isn’t something that I want to be around.”

“What do you mean you don’t want to be around?” He takes a step towards you.

“Bucky, you’ve been going backwards for months. You’ve been quick to anger, you started to drink more often, you’ve been lying to me about smoking for who knows how long. You act like you don’t have friends or loved ones who want to help you, like you don’t have resources.”

Bucky swallows. “I don’t need help. I’m fine.”

You take a shaky breath. “Then I’m moving out.”

Bucky’s eyes widen and his heart drops. “You’re gonna move out because I started drinking more and smoking again?”

“No, I’m moving out because I cannot and will not watch you destroy yourself. I come home drained. Not from work but from guessing what you’re going to be like. I want to do anything but come home to you and it shouldn’t be like that.”

Bucky runs a hand over his face. “What happened to through thick and thin? You’re gonna abandon me because I’m trying to work through some things?” 

“Bucky I’ve been with you through thick, and I’ve been with you through thin. But you haven’t. I can’t be two people.”

“Well sorry that I can’t be the perfect boyfriend.” He rolls his eyes.

“I’m not asking for perfect. I’m asking for you to do the bare minimum and I’m not even getting that.”

“So me sharing everything with you is not enough?”

“Bucky, you only share halfhearted things! You tell me what you had for lunch and then your upcoming missions. I don’t know much about who you were growing up or what your favorite color is. I want to know all of you and you only want to share a fraction of that.”

“Do you really think it’s easy for me to share the things Hydra did to me? The things I did?”

“I’m not saying it’s easy. And I’m grateful that you shared bits of that, but you are moving backwards. You won’t even go see your therapist!”

“I don’t need some shrink to tell me the fucked up things I’ve done. I don’t need someone who doesn’t understand what it was like to be a fucking science experiment try to ‘decode’ me. Therapy doesn’t work.” Bucky takes another step towards you and softens his voice. “And I don’t need you to see how truly broken I am.”

“Bucky, I only see you. I see a man who has overcome all of these terrible things and is trying to right his wrongs. But I can’t see all of him when he’s starting to pull away from me. And you can’t say therapy doesn’t work when you’ve only been to 3 sessions and haven’t been back in months.”

“Fine, I’ll share things with you. Is that what you want? I’m not going to see some shrink, bringing up the past is… it has too many memories.”

You sigh and shake your head. “I need space, you need time. I can’t keep living like this, seeing you deteriorate in front of my eyes.”

Bucky finally lets himself break, his eyes water and his voice cracks. “For how long?”

“Until you show me you’re trying to get better.”

Bucky swallows. “And if I don’t?”

You shake your head. “You’re going to try.”

Bucky nods. You take a deep breath and wipe the tears staining your cheeks. It bothers you how much you’ve been crying the past few days but it’s been a long time coming.

“I’m going to go get more of my things.” Bucky nods, not able to say anything to you.

As you move towards the bedroom, Bucky sits back down on the couch. How is this real? He thought to himself. He knows that his actions have consequences, but you are the best thing that has happened to him. Was it because he was too selfish? Should he have known that all good things come to an end?

But you were willing to come back to him. You wanted him to get better. And he knows that the selfish part of him isn’t going away when it comes to you.

You exit the bedroom with another big bag of your things. Bucky looks up and stands.

“I don’t know what to say.” You try to take in every feature of his. “I’m probably going to stay with Natasha for a few days, then I’m going to talk with Tony about a more permanent solution.”

Bucky nods, not being able to bring himself to talk. You feel a pang in your heart, not wanting to leave him but knowing that it’s what's best.

“I guess I’ll see you around.” You walk towards the door.

Bucky finally speaks up. “Stay safe.”

You turn around and give him a small broken smile. “You too.”

As the door closes behind you, Bucky can feel everything around him shake. He sits on the couch, his head in his hands. Bucky lets out a cry, gasping for breath.

His whole world had left.

[purplepeptobismol]

Doctor Kenneth McCormick & The Beautiful Concept of ‘Love To The Point of Invention’

Okay! So I could not stop thinking about the dynamic between Dr. McCormick and Victor Chaos, and more importantly— chapter 13 of my fic… I’m sorry y’all. It’s just,,, there was so much discussed in this chapter and I just wanted to talk about it MORE. I wanted to voice everything out, even revealing some behind the scenes stuff, implications, deleted paragraphs, investigative research, and my thought process throughout the chapter. It was a long one; it could’ve been longer, but I genuinely forced myself to stop. Anyway, feel free to read my very own ‘directors cut’! Just letting you know ahead of time that it WILL be containing spoilers for Chapter 13 of ‘I Will Make of You’ and my one-shot (Un)Forbidden Love.

The backstory starts off as newly graduated Kenny and Butters, with Butters asking him to run away together. The reason for his hesitation is explored on (Un)Forbidden Love, but actually a big scene I cut out [and was going to be featured in this chapter] was —

The one where Kevin gifts his truck to Kenny and Butters. I was planning on hinting that Butters had explained his plan to Kevin beforehand, and had asked for his help into getting a truck of his own. Kevin, being literally the coolest person ever, basically told him that they can take his truck, and he will be gifting it to them. Butters and Kevin go back and forth about it, Butters being “no, I can’t possibly take yours! That’s unfair and selfish”, until Kevin hits him with the “I’m not doing it for you, it’s for him. We both want Kenny to be happy.” Obviously, Kenny doesn’t know this conversation happened 🥹, but caring older brother Kevin tugs at my heartstrings. I also wanted to add a tidbit where Kevin is helping them pack their things in the truck, he whispers to Leo to “make him happy and give Ken the life he deserves.” KILL ME NOW, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!

—

Moving on past their new established relationship, we get the first hints of Vic’s negotiating skills. It is already established in the canon universe of the Post Covid South Park specials that Kenny is a very talented scientist who’s done all these amazing things— but we also find out that Butters (Vic Chaos) is the one that actually funds all of Dr. McCormick’s projects! I tried to mess around with this concept in my own story, but the one thing I always wondered was: What made Kenny want to become a scientist in the first place?

Love to the Point of Invention

I think there is something so pure, and so genuinely beautiful about loving someone so much, you’re capable of inventing something revolutionary BECAUSE of them. There are many examples of this actually happening in real life:

Kenny seeing Butters come home— fatigued and stressed from all the workload— it motivated him into creating something to help Butters feel better. And it not just worked, but someone actually bought Kenny’s invention. Of course, if it wasn’t for Butters [Chaos’s] negotiating tactics, they wouldn’t have secured the millions of dollars that helped them get into an Ivy League Uni.

Personally, I feel like Kenny truly is talented when it comes to being an inventor, but both in canon and in IWMOY, his main motivators where always the people he loves. Butters is also canonically good at running a business, and his Vic Chaos persona proves that he’s capable of getting some good money off of investors. Scientist Kenny who invents all these crazy things and Vic Chaos who invests, sells, markets, funds his inventions— It’s literally a match made in heaven y’all 😞, they’re a power duo!

—

There are a lot of other things I want to get into but I’m going to skip ahead a bit to talk about the main event of this chapter: Cooper’s creation! I’ve always headcanon that Stan and Kyle are more family oriented and the more likely to have kids first, while Kenny isn’t as caring about the concept. So when Kenny witnessed their joy and Butters cuddling up with a baby, it sort of planted him with an image of a family in his head. What really sold the idea was that conversation he had with Butters. Kenny wasn’t aware that Butters was having daydreams of starting a family with him until that very night 🥲, it once again motivated him into creating something that will make Butters’ daydream a reality. LOVE! CREATION!!

Now, the concept of bringing a human to life in the ‘non-traditional’ sense is actually very complex AND controversial 💀. I was aware that there were some negative views towards the study of human cells and artificial wombs, but I didn’t know just how bad it’s perceived… Bro, even IVF and surrogacy are still somewhat frowned upon. I’m the type of person that even if it’s not mentioned or come up in my essays, I still do extensive research so I can get a general idea of what I’m writing about. For Cooper’s ‘birth,’ there were three main things that needed to be focused:

The study of cells and how to make gametes of two people of the same sex to successfully produce a zygote (fertilized cell/embryo)

Artificial Wombs, how they work, and how will they function for a developing human fetus

The weekly development of a baby and what they will need inside a womb to grow/develop healthy

All of these things have their own concerns that required different forms of investigation, and it brought up a lot of moral dilemmas that I REALLY (and I mean really) overthought during the entirety of my research and writing process.

One

In real life, the use of animals for scientific purposes is controversial because, let’s be real— no one wants animals to be abused for humanity’s own desire to learn. Hell, I wouldn’t want that either! Yet, in my fic, Kenny does use lab mice and monkeys and it’s actually an integral component for this experiment. Personally, I do believe there is an ethical way we could use mice and monkeys for research; and that’s if the experiment doesn’t cause deadly risks and physical or psychological harm to the animals. You can let me know your thoughts! I feel like Kenny would actually be less empathetic about it than Stan, which is why I made him call Kenny out on it. Lol. Getting that out of the way, how would Kenny use those animals to reach his goal?

Lab mice are actually used to this day, and they’re a valuable species for the study of human biology, pathology, etc.. Mice have 20 chromosomes in their haploid genome, their gestation period takes on average 19-21 days, their genetic complexity is pretty low; there’s also low ethical concerns due to their rapid reproduction, small size, and short lifespan. Scientist already have a general understanding of their genetics so it makes the testing more straightforward. Kenny will definitely find more early success and failures during this section since the breakthrough can be proof that conception is possible with two species of the same sex.

I stated this in chapter 13, but the next animal they tested on was the Rhesus Macaque; they’re the primates most genetically and physiologically similar to humans. A single rhesus macaque contain 21 pairs of chromosomes, gestation period is roughly 166 days, and their maternal health has a big influence to a baby’s development much like a human. Kenny testing with these animals will help bridge the gap, enhance the technology, and address any issues that happen throughout the process. But since they’re pretty similar to humans, especially with their reproductive biology, it raises more ethical questions than with the lab mice. The failed attempts of gestation, fetal development, and the long-term health would be very hard to ignore. This step would take significantly more time and patience, lots of care will need to be taken place before ANYTHING becomes feasible. So once everything is overcome, then we could possibly move to humans.

The ultimate and final goal would be testing this technology with humans. Human genomes are extremely complex, they have 23 pairs of chromosomes (which is 46 in each cell), gestation is roughly 9 months, human embryos require precise conditions, and their long-term health need to be carefully monitored years after their birth. The testing of this would definitely be frowned upon by society. Realistically, we would need highly advanced technological breakthroughs to make this happen— it is very likely Kenny would’ve gruesomely fail this step many times. But I didn’t want to make him suffer the losses of his potential children :(, that’s too cruel. Besides, Cooper is a strong kid, and Kenny used his cursed blood to create him!

Overall, it truly isn’t scientifically possible for two species of the same sex to procreate because their biological mechanisms lack the components for fertilization (yet👀). They’ll probably need to reprogram or edit genes and cells to transform at least one male gamete into an egg-like cell. (I’ve sort of drawn inspiration from stuff like CRISPR-Cas9). Then, similar to that of IVF, mimic the fertilization of both of the cells, continue editing the genes to make them compatible, remove any harmful mutations that might occur, and ensure the embryo has the necessities for proper development. What I’m trying to get at is that either Kenny or Butter’s gametes had to be transformed into an egg so that Cooper could exist [and also Tweek and Craig for Emilio if you think about it] 🫢. Y’all can decide on whose cell it was.

Two

Artificial wombs are an actual thing being developed and tested— mice embryos have been used on clear rotating vials and they’ve actually attempted to use an artificial womb for a premature lamb who needed help with their lungs! When I first thought of using the concept of an artificial wombs back when I was drafting this story, the first images that came to my mind were something like the scenes from ‘I Am Mother.’

This technology was my main inspiration for Cooper’s creation because— really guys— how else would Kenny and Butters have a biological kid of their own if not with the use of advanced technology 😭??? Before I reached this scene, even as far back when I revealed the explanation back in chapters 2 and 8, I didn’t think much about this; truly, I wasn’t even thinking of making it a big deal. But then it was time for me to finish drafting chapter 13, and I decided to make more research on the concept, this video by Cleo Abram appeared on my recommended!

It completely changed my perspective on the concept and even made me want to tread with the idea more carefully. I really recommend watching it if you’re interested on what I’m going to be talking about. I didn’t realize how controversial or even the complexity of it. So, not only did I do research, but I also did a deep dive on motherhood and pregnancy 🤓….

Let me start with the negative conversations: The main issue people have with it is that this technology breaks the ‘idea of childbirth’ and the ‘beauty of pregnancy.’ Many mothers believe that it’s an amazing thing to grow a human inside of them, and they feel some type of bond between their child as they grow. It’s a sacred thing and ‘part of being a woman’, and they don’t want technology to take that away from them. *Though the concept of artificial wombs being an actual thing is purely fictional and theoretical, I’d like to point out that alternatives such as surrogacy and IVF are real options and even those are controversial till this day*

The positive side: some mothers believe that this technology could be a great alternative since child birth can be very dangerous to certain women whose biology doesn’t allow them to carry, or can’t conceive at all. Others simply don’t want to experience the labor. Pregnancy in general could be a very difficult thing for both the mother and a baby, this alternative could help alleviate those concerns.

In my heart of hearts, I couldn’t make Kenny be the one to invent this because honestly, he just wouldn’t understand; Heidi Turner was the best decision in my opinion. I always wanted to make her be a part of Kenny’s scientist team, and this experiment felt like the right opportunity. I don’t feel qualified to put my two cents on the topic, so I’m gonna end this segment by quoting what one of my friends said.

“For starters, I don’t want to have kids of my own, nor do I plan on ever becoming pregnant due to my own personal circumstances. But if I were to have a choice, I would like this to be one of my options. I have heard both the horrors and positives of what pregnancy does to a woman and it makes me not want to be pregnant even more. In the end, idk what the process would look like, let alone the aftermath of both my and the babies health. Of course not everyone would agree, and maybe there would be pushback for this sort of advancement, but I feel like we should focus on the idea of giving women more alternatives to choose what they could do with their own bodies instead of being self righteous about what’s natural or not.”

Three

Y’all 💀 a baby developing in a womb is really no easy task. We don’t know what happens inside a uterus when a baby is inside, it’s not like we can peek inside a womb, so we mostly just go by the current research of the weekly gestational period. But I tried my best to sum up how the process would be like. A fetus in an artificial womb would have to be in an environment that replicates the uterus. Nutrients and oxygen need to be exchanged, facilitate waste, hormonal changes that happen during pregnancy need to be mimicked, temperature and pH need to be regulated, amniotic fluid is important for allowing a fetus to move— well, pregnancy is complicated. Not to mention how foreign and disconnecting it could be for a baby to develop outside of their mother’s womb, that connection could be crucial too, no machine can mimic that warmth and feeling, and I made sure Heidi be the one to point that out.

Literally a single wrong move could be the end. It’s a very high level risk… This is a gamble with human life. Everything could go so wrong in many ways if they aren’t careful. Nothing about this could be considered natural.

No matter how you view it, what Kenny is doing is selfish. He is messing with natural order of life to have a son of his own with his husband. He knows this more than anyone else. That’s why when Craig also wanted to try to have a son of his own using this method, Kenny felt displeased. Craig CANNOT be having a spur-of-the moment baby fever, this isn’t something to FOMO about— this is a human they are attempting to create. Conscious human life. If they die in the middle of gestation, or they suffer long-term— it is entirely on their selfish fault. I wanted to add a scene where Kenny straight up tells Craig “NO” and that he wasn’t ready for it. It would lead to a big thing where even Tweek gets involved and explains his side and wheewww would it have turned out way longer.

Though this entire experiment was kinda Kenny’s sort of selfish desire of creating a family— it’s that LOVE he has for Leo that pushes him to invent this (love, invention…. *sighs*), and it was love for his son that pushed to save him in the end. It really is romantic and beautiful to deeply love someone 🙁..

This is such a heavy and interesting concept that I feel could bring on a lot of conversation to the table, I want this to be an open discussion so feel free to comment your thoughts and opinions. I also want to iterate that I AM NOT A SCIENTIST NOR AM I AN EXPERT IN ANY OF THESE CONCEPTS OR TOPICS THAT I’VE DISCUSSED. IM JUST SOME SILLY AND STUPID GUY WHO WRITES SOUTH PARK FANFICTION ☠️

—

Small little things I like to add from this chapter:

Craig living in Houston because he worked for NASA is so funny to me. Idk much about how they work over there but I do know that those roads and highways are no joke. Bro was fighting for his life in those 14 lane roads 😭. They always have construction and accidents too, shit is stressing me just thinking about it </3

Stan and Kyle being family oriented feels so right to me, and Stan getting cold feet because he doesn’t want to end up like Randy 💔 my shaylaaa. Idk what’s it like to be a parent so I hope Stan’s dialogue felt realistic 🙁. I didn’t want to include too much of how they adopted Robin, but I also wanted to give a bit of a recapped explanation that was somewhat realistic. Cartman’s death and the adoption happening around the same time would obviously stress them even more so I feel like anxiety is normal in the situation. It worked out in the end tho hehe 🫶, and it was thanks to this scene that motivated Kenny into starting his family.

Butters saying Cooper was “cooped up in there” and didn’t “want him to feel lonely” down there ☹️

I also wanted to add a bit of background Tweek being an engineer and more of Doctor Heidi Turner, but,,,,,,, chapter too long. We did decent amount of Heidi content tho, but no Tweek. He will appear in chapter 14 y’all 🙏Trust.

—

Anywho— I feel like I went overboard with this deep dive but if you have any input with the topics discussed or the dynamics between Kenny and Butters as Doctor McCormick and Vic Chaos, or literally anything else, please feel free to share 🥹

[notacatdown]

yes and no. they definitely shouldve had one, but how things flow in the drama (i didnt read the novel so feel free to educate me!), between all that happens in ep 7 and ep 8, it almost felt like there was no time for that to happen. if anything, maybe instead of his percent going up from being jealous of seeing her with fuyi, they couldve done something there, but the version of ziqi theyre trying to portray is one who is already beginning to like her romantically, skipping over the friendship part and just wanting to Be Together. like a desperate lovesick puppy

I figure ep 9 is a better place to respond than your ep 4 rewatch because it's here that Miaomiao says Mu Sheng should go see a therapist. The drama keeps a lot of the novel's dialogue about how Mu Sheng sees himself (he's tired of his life, he thinks that his death is the ideal solution to everything, he believes that his only purpose in life is to protect Mu Yao, etc), but it doesn't go into detail. How does a person with such deep loathing for himself and suicidal tendencies behave?

In the novel, the moment when he realizes how much he wants her affection and her warmth, he instinctively wants to kill that desire for self-protection. He believes that he's a monster and only a saint like Mu Yao will care about him. He fears rejection and believes that it's inevitable, so he wants to get rid of her. But at the same time, he really wants her attention and gets upset when she ignores him. The more he likes her, the more he gets scared of what he thinks will happen. He doesn't have the sense of security to want to enter a romantic relationship yet.

(Whereas in ep 8, it seems as if Miaomiao had said she likes him instead of saying she cares about him because she's his disciple, he wouldn't try to send her away. His fear is that she will reveal his secret to Mu Yao.)

He hates himself, so he keep sabotaging his relationships. He has to believe he's deserving of love and friendship to stop pushing her away. And even then, healthy behavior isn't the absence of bad behavior. It's a completely new set of behavior that happy people learn from their interactions with parents as children. For a person like Mu Sheng, who didn't come from a happy family, he has to learn it as an adult from Miaomiao.

We can sort of see this in the drama too when Mu Sheng says he doesn't like to argue with Mu Yao in ep 4. 

I really like how you phrased his mindset in that moment "placating her and telling her he doesn't like arguing with her, that sister knows best, just because he can't deal with hearing her say these hurtful things anymore, and he cant handle it if his sister has such a negative view of him, all while hes trying to smile. its genuinely hurting him internally, as we see in a moment. "

In the novel scenes where he thinks/says those lines, he's innocent of what Mu Yao is accusing him of even though it looks incriminating. Mu Yao gives him time to explain, but he doesn't want to. He wants the conversation to end as fast as possible. As the readers, we can see that this sort of misunderstanding has happened so many times in the past and shaped Mu Yao's view of him, but she still asks him. She desperately wants him to be innocent, but he's so stuck in his negative emotions that he can't see this.

"if you think it was me, then it was me." This new line and his expression when he says this is so perfect for how Mu Sheng views himself in the novel. His self-esteem is a house of cards shakily propped up by how Mu Yao and Miaomiao view him. He places Mu Yao and Miaomiao on a pedestal, and I like how the novel shows this places an unfair burden on Mu Yao and Miaomiao. I don't think this aspect is shown in the drama.

Anyways, I like that we get to see a different take on their relationship in the drama. I just wish the drama spent more time on it, especially their relationship as fan/reader and author.

—

since mu sheng is xia ziqi's self-insert, who does that make yao (not that she has to be a specific someone, i just mean does she stem from somewhere)? 

I viewed it as this is how a teenage boy would write an empowered woman. Except for a few scenes closely adapted from the novel, she doesn't have emotional fragility. I love that scene where Mu Yao is the only one not affected by the water demon's deepest fear trap, so its not that I want her changed. More like, it would be interesting to see her change. For example, if she had rethought her view on what a hero should be like after meeting Guo Xiu.

On a side note, that Mu Sheng would say he's not a member of the Mu clan and only Mu Yao's brother would imply he was treated badly. Do Mu Yao and Mu Sheng ever talk about this in the drama?

In the novel, Fu Zhou is a female author, has no connection to Mu Sheng, and the story is not a dream. So, the characters that a teenage boy writes would be different from the characters that a woman would write. It would have been interesting to see the female protagonists that Fu Zhou writes as an adult. I'm curious how Fu Zhou would portray Mu Yao in his revised version. I think she would be more nuanced.

The drama removes three female characters (Lin Yu's aunt, Mu Yao's biological mother, and Mu Yao's father's legal wife) and adds four male characters and one female character (Cuicui, Guo Xiu, the marquis, Liu Fuyi's master, and Liu-niang). The novel's final mystery arc is female-centric. It can be viewed as a tale of four mothers, the sacrifices they've made, and how that shaped their children in a patriarchal society part 2. 

(Which sounds depressing, but it's being revealed during the happiest time in Mu Sheng and Mu Yao's lives. Their childhoods sucked, but they met people that love them and helped them walk out the shadows of their childhood, and their future will be so happy. I think this is why the author chose to reveal their parents' stories this way.)

Although I want to protest about screenwriters that change female-centric novels to focus on the male protagonist in xianxia drama adaptations, it wouldn't make sense that a teenage boy would write that type of story. He doesn't understand how women think or how motherhood changes and impacts women.

"again, i think miaomiao is disregarding that this is a parallel universe, since she just sees it as the book's world and everyone is pretend, so venting like this, especially to ziqi, is not something that she has to hesitate about. they dont understand, and they dont fully question her, so why not speak to them as if they arent real people? at this point in the series, thats still how she sees them."

When I rewatch the part where she's sharing her vulnerable thoughts to him, I wish we could have gotten a scene where they're themselves with their memories intact and continued this conversation. It would have been such a good resolution! We never get to see them on the same page. We find out that Catching Demons is like a love letter to Miaomiao, but Miaomiao doesn't know that. I feel like I went to a restaurant, patiently waited for the chef to cook, enjoyed tasting while waiting, and right after the splendid meal was about to be served, the restaurant closed and takeout wasn't allowed.

"i like that after 5 years of traveling together the name ziqi has not come up once."

Lol. Shows that Mu Sheng has no friends T.T Strangers would call him Mu-gongzi/Young Master Mu to be polite. Mu Yao and Liu Fuyi call him Ah'Sheng. His mom calls him Sheng'er. In the novel, Miaomiao is the only one that calls him by Mu Sheng or Ziqi. I like that the marquis refers to him as that Ziqi guy because that's how he hears Miaomiao's address for Mu Sheng. That was a nice detail.

and yes, miaomiao has clearly changed a lot in the story, yet with how she is supposed to escape, the system will still ensure that she gets through it similarly, since she HAS to defeat the resentful woman, so the story has to continue,

I keep forgetting the system gives her two goals in the drama. I think this is because we only see Miaomiao working on Mu Sheng's favorability % and Mu Yao and Liu Fuyi's relationship. Let me know if I'm wrong or if I miss something. In the novel, she works on finding out more about the final boss and increasing her fighting ability to prepare for the ending throughout the story.

—

When I was re-watching the drama, I noticed how the omission of very minor details changed how I view Miaomiao. For example, in the novel, when Mu Sheng sticks the immobilizing charm on her to snatch Liu Fuyi's sachet from her, MiaoMiao's first thought is on the charm, how cool and useful it is. She asks him for one. It shows that she cares more about the demon hunter world and planning for future dangers over Mu Sheng and his petty behavior.

but hes so annoyed LOL. using a control talisman because HE WANTS THAT DANG IT. no hesitation at ALL.

ahhhhhh looking at the sachet for a moment and then her as he goes to grab it. he wants to intimidate and tease her so badlyyyyyyy

Oh Mu Sheng, if only you kept this jealous behavior and ripped off the love bracelet. What was the point of testing the bracelet? He should have just yanked the bracelet off. It's like seeing people on fire and not wanting to get close to them to throw water over them because they're naked. In an emergency situation, there is an exemption for everyday politeness.

In a magical world where a single talisman can make someone execute a complicated action and one person has the power to alter the memories of an entire village for years on end, and there's no magical way to check, an experienced demon hunter like Mu Sheng should have basic safety protocols. If she isn't acting like herself, the first step should be to strip her down to make sure there's no hidden magical item and question her to pinpoint when their memory or behavior changed.

and how he looks surprised "its a sachet" / "doesnt it look like that?" my guy what skills do you possess besides being super hot? because idk i havent quite seen them

Lol. Is it clear in the drama that he's terrible because this is the first time he's made a protective sachet? In the novel, the first ones that he offers Miaomiao are three lumpy bags crammed with talismans. A protective sachet normally has ONE talisman. He stayed up after their 5-in-a-row games to make them. Gets rejected by Miaomiao. Later on, he forcefully gives her one that's just as nice as Liu Fuyi's. Presumably, he's been secretly working on perfecting his sachet making skills.

crossing his armmmmssss i LOVE how much he does that and how LITTLE fuyi does it. like absolute foils for each other. wait. are mu sheng and liu fuyi supposed to be two sides of ziqi? ive considered it but i dont know. blah, i dont want to talk about this right now, so many of you are much better at this than i am.

This would have been so interesting for the drama to explore! What does it mean that Fu Zhou had Mu Sheng marry Lin Yu (a woman that was in love with Liu Fuyi? Just a way to torture himself? I wish we got to see them interact more beyond that drinking their sorrows away scene.

Early on in the novel, Mu Sheng has a one-sided competition going on with Liu Fuyi. Liu Fuyi is oblivious to this. As he likes himself more, he does this less. By the final story arc, he doesn't react negatively when Liu Fuyi consoles him about something. He still gets jealous of Liu Fuyi, but he recognizes that it's his problem and that it isn't okay to act out his jealousy. Mu Sheng's precious character growth!

hes just so pretty, even blurred. AND SO IS YAO. mu siblings gorgeous genes even tho theyre not blood-related.

Pretty fan art of these three from xiaohongshu.

i find that on rewatch, i like cuicui less and less? i had no problem with him on my first watch, and he doesnt even do anything wrong. i think i just found it grating to go through his scenes again LOL. like goddammit just give me the romance and action!

My tipping point for Cuicui was ep 21. I wish we could have seen Miaomiao supporting Mu Sheng after he spits out blood during the battle scene instead of having to hold a 150-year old bamboo demon. It would make sense that CuiCui was stuck in his original form because of the pressure of the formation. His role is to help push them together, but he's always standing between them and literally keeping them apart. I can see why fans are so upset about his character on Weibo and Douban.

(Feel free to ignore this ranting. Got carried away. I get so annoyed whenever I think about this. 

Ep 23 was the final straw. I watch the drama at 2x speed in any scene he's in. In the novel, we have Miaomiao idly playing with Mu Sheng's hair and him getting super flustered. She handfeeds him her snacks or any food that she enjoys with him, but it has now become the exclusive-privilege of Cuicui.

In the last third of the novel, even when she's talking to someone else, she notices when Mu Sheng is sad. She has become as sensitive to him as he is to her. She reaches out to hold his hand when he sits down next to her. She half-hugs him and holds his hands to make dumplings. Just little moments.

Instead, we have this in the drama:

In ep 14, Mu Sheng walks away because he's upset and jealous. After a similar situation in the novel, MiaoMiao drank a bit to get courage and went to Mu Sheng's room to apologize for poking at his sore spot. She ends up drinking way too much. After she apologizes, she rambles on that she's worried about him. That he should like someone like her. That he would be happy with her. That she would pamper him. She kisses him on the cheek and then tries to wipe her rouge off his cheek. This is how Mu Sheng knows that Miaomiao likes him.

How did they go from this to needing a 10-year old child to progress their relationship? Cuicui spilling Miaomiao's crush to Mu Sheng even though she told him not to.)

Sorry, this got too long. I've never felt so frustrated by any drama character before. More than any other reason, Cuicui is the reason why I only re-watch up to ep 8. I was curious to read your thoughts on ep 9 because you've pointed out so many things I missed, so I continued. I can just scroll past the Cuicui parts.

THE STUNNED LOOK ON HIS FACE LMAO. hes like "what did i do? did i do something wrong?" but then hes thinking "she is way too upset about this. what is wrong with her?"

i think she also feels very, again, shy over this whole thing, because of the meaning of putting a ring on her finger in her world, and wants an excuse to get it off. which is why she asks for his demon staff. 

ziqi is so unserious. like not only does he not want to indulge in an emotional convo but he also has to pick on her and take personal offense.

miaomiao only taking fuyis hand. yeah thats on purpose.

say what youd like but i think he stares at her chest because he wants to confront her by looking at her face but cant, so he settles for that, then perhaps realizes that its inappropriate, so he looks back down. im just reading into things, thats what i do here.

Your observations are so fun to read! Would add a star to this drama's rating for it. Thank you for sharing!

lgief rewatch ep. 9

yay ep 9! lots of shy ziqi AND miaomiao moments~ thats basically most of what this episode is to me minus the few times miaomiao discusses her world/CD world and the novel storyline.

if youd like to discuss lgief, feel free to send me asks, chats, or reply to any of these posts.

ep 1 / ep 2 / ep 3 / ep 4 pre-festival / ep 4 festival / ep 5, 5 part 2 / ep 6 / ep 7 / ep 8 / ep 9

following up to the ending of ep 8, we see ziqi STILL HOLDING HER HAND after putting on the ring.

and when miaomiao rips her hand away, hes like "wtf?"

did they put rings on fingers back then for marriage (yes im too lazy to look it up, sue me)? regardless, this feels like, even if it is, ziqi is clueless regardless, because he has no romantic awareness.

he purses his lips because he feels like hes committed some faux pax, but he doesnt know what, so he has to ask. the way he asks is so gentle, he really wants to know ;_;

miaomiao doesnt wanna tell! i think she was truly feeling some attraction towards him in this moment, but shes shy, and if she tried to tell him, hed make fun of her, or he wouldnt get it.

THE STUNNED LOOK ON HIS FACE LMAO. hes like "what did i do? did i do something wrong?" but then hes thinking "she is way too upset about this. what is wrong with her?" and maybe he also, though this is just me making things up, felt some sort of jamais vu, perhaps.

cut to her feeling like shes just gotta drop it now because hes watching her and sent her here to practice.

he looks. so good.

LOL its so funny she says she doesnt think its as good as the ladle when it very clearly is. i think she just wanted to get out of training here.

the way that as SOON as she hears him take in a breath she says "dont call me stupid" and she can barely look him in the eye when she says that. hes so cute for obliging.

i think she also feels very, again, shy over this whole thing, because of the meaning of putting a ring on her finger in her world, and wants an excuse to get it off. which is why she asks for his demon staff. the way she shuffles over is so fucking funny. oh miaomiao, never change.

fully reblogged ver here

[ssardothien]

Just came here to say that obx ending like that is just pure bullshit and I'm going to pretend that JJ just left for his surf trip and is having the time of his life, thank you bye

[ai-higurashi]

Honestly, they should have given the Kumojacky treatment to Minoton's arc, or at least something similar

[anime-moreanime-animeagain]

So I’m halfway through AoaB 4.8…….

……………………..

………………………………..

I cannot express my displeasure adequately. There are not enough words in my vocabulary to truly grasp the deep seated displeasure of what has occurred. I would like to maintain my anger and fury of a thousand suns, but I can’t seem to stop crying. I can’t read this. I cannot.

[mila-carat]

I was watching this Chinese variety show just to see Ricky and Zhang Hao but then I saw one of the hosts was Zhang Zhenyuan and now I want to cry… 😭💔

[love-is-dean]

One of many thins that's been bothering me about the show is the constant comparison between Rang's truamatic childhood and other characters'. It's been like that since Season 1, done by both the writers! and the fans and guess what? it is still being a thing even now in the second season!! And honestly that's so upsetting and unfair in all the ways considering the fact that the circumstances were never the same and Rang's tragic life, sufferings and his traumatic experinces were totally different from other characters'.

1- Comparing Rang's trauma to Jia's, saying Rang wasn't as strong as jia even tho they both grew up alone!

True that they both grow up lonely with no parents to take care of them but unlike Lee Rang, Jia was never an unwanted/ unloved child. She had this loving parents that she never gave up on even after 20years since they went missing and their love and memory was enough for her to be strong and keep fighting for them. She wasn't abused by people, beaten to death and abandoned to die while growing up. She was never a despised creature and never felt like she didn't matter or that she didn't belong. She sure never felt betrayed by people she loved and trusted. See? totally different from what Rang went through since before he was even born.

2. And now even comparing Rang's childhood to Yeon's too? Again true that Yeon's childhood weren't all love and rainbows and had this abusive father who would treat him sh*t for his fun but the thing is... even such an irresponsible asshole of a father who didn't care about his own kid never really wanted Yeon dead; didn't call him a monster and didn't treat him like a monster he should get rid of. And he left Yeon's care to Taluipa before disappearing so unlike Rang, Yeon was never really left alone on his own, helpless and defenseless to face the world's cruelty. He had Taluipa and also besties to count on. He was literally raised by powerful gods and as a kid he never felt what it was like to lose his home-like Rang did when villagers burned his home- to kill his friend-like when little Rang had to put blacky out of its misery and it damaged him so bad- and lose his only loved one in the world- Rang losing Yeon as a kid and later nearly dying by his sword- Yeon was not betrayed and abandoned by his loved ones and the most important he's a powerful full gumiho. Rang had a vulnurable human side so ofc he would feel things more intensely than a full gumiho. And the thing is what made Rang finally lash out and go wild on humans was not his shitty mother being cruel to him but the humans who just couldn't let him be. Long after Rang left the village with Yeon he was still this caring innocent child until humans burned his home and wanted to kill them all. So saying that Yeon didn't use his childhood as an excuse to go dark is unfair to Rang's character coz Rang wouldn't either if... only if... humans just let him live his life in peace and not try to kill him any chance they got. Just saying🤷‍♀️ and mind me remind you of the fact that 1938 Yeon isn't living the best life either. You know?

3. Rang vs imoogi.

Now their childhood have many similarities. both unwanted children, unloved by their parents, treated like monsters by people and left to die by their family.

I would've really liked it if the show had explored the tragic side of imoogi too coz what he went through was horrible and sure it would make fans interested in his story on why he turned out the way he was! but here's what differs his story from Rang's: unlike Rang, Imoogi never knew love. He grew up cold and bitter with no heart. Unlike Rang he never craved love or family. All he ever wanted was power and only power. There was no one who he really cared about. He even betrayed his only friend, the only person who cared about him coz he didn't like to see him happy-compare him to Lee Rang who sacrificed himself for his brother's happiness- Nothing could really hurt imoogi, he had no feelings, no emotion, no weakspot. He had no one to care about and didn't need them either. But Rang was different. He was shown love too. He knew love and so the loss, heartbreak and the feeling of betrayal too. He had a heart. A very soft one. We saw adult Rang couldn't even kick his hungry ghost mother away coz seeing her hurt him, coz probably he still cared. He was a very emotional boy with a lot of wounds but still had his heart no matter what and he gave love so much more than what he got. That's why he'd never end up being an evil like Imoogi. Not bc he had people to save him from his inner monsters. No. Imoogi had one too and he betrayed him. It's bc Rang cared. He always cared. he loved his people and they loved him back. He'd earned their love with his good heart and unlike imoogi he'd rather die than losing them and that's what makes his story different. Bc he loved even so much more than he was loved and that's his strength. If anything he's been so strong, struggling for hundreds of years alone and surviving the unkind world that had nothing for him but endless pain, loneliness and nothingness. All of it while he was just a broken lonely boy ignored by his loved ones and hated by the world who he really never felt like belong to and yet he still kept his heart and love and at the end he was the one who suffered to give everyone a happy ending at the expense of his own life and happiness! Lee Rang, The one who suffered the most... and deserved happiness more than anyone but never got it! Words can not explain how unjust, unfair and cruel that ending was! He deserved so much better.

[valentineveils]

we're done adding content [adds 12 new subclasses] [doesnt add new content for the companions , especially wyll , left in the dust]

[phosphophylight-of-my-life]

reading i married an anti-fan rn and the FL is genuinely so. naively self-centred. not in the sense that she's selfish, but she thinks she has more power than she actually does and never pauses to consider her employers' interests.

like. she desperately needs money and is in debt, and then she goes and pisses off one of her employer's most important clients? she gets fired because of this, and blasts it to ALL the news agencies she knows of? she's an aspiring reporter, so this means all her potential employers?? she's letting them know that she'll ruin a relationship with their clients and see nothing wrong with it. i know she was drunk at the start and was dealing with a bad break up, but still. way to ruin your own career. she even takes to the streets yelling about how evil the most popular super idol is, as if she isn't an entertainment reporter who surely know that rabid fans exist. was she trying to get beat up and bullied online? and she's doing all this with the aim of getting the client she pissed off to convince her company to reinstate her job. the same company where her former supervisor already hates her for causing so much trouble for throwing a shoe at the client. where she was already very unhappy at to begin with. that job? you want it back? you'll be stuck at your role or worse until the supervisor leaves the company. and yeah, spreading a smear campaign is sure to work against an extremely popular and wealthy individual who has already proven that he can get you fired. there's definitely no way he has lawyers who can make your life even worse than it already was.

as far as i can tell this story is going to take the 'fake contract marriage' route, and no wonder and good for her because there's no way she's going to get a conventional job after this, and even if she did she'll blow it up and angrily blame others for it afterwards

[mobtism]

i hate ōkubo atsushi as much as the next person because of his fanservicey fetishism but i love the way he makes batshit crazy women characters.

[vettelcore]

me when the red flags warned me exactly about what was gonna happen and i still ignored them

[jocollins]

[lovesong]

FUCK!!!!

[sleepyagent]

I mean we can hang and just talk too but i dont want to do that too much

What about once every half year