#IT'S SO CLEAN IDK I JUST APPRECIATE YOU FOR DOING IT
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
bread-is-my-life Ā· 2 months ago
Text
BRO EVERYTHING ABT THIS DARWING IS LITERALLY PERFECT
FINALLY drew this post of @loadingbnha, it has been ages and I've wanted to do it since forever, it's so hilarious and accurate. Hope you like it Loading!!!
Tumblr media
-click for better quality (damn it looks like shit)-
24 notes Ā· View notes
cryolyst Ā· 6 months ago
Text
~
#they speak!#it's probably just the illness that's making me extra irritable but like.#roommate kept coming up to me this morning going oh did i wake you up? i'm sorry if i did. did i do that or no? i'm really sorry.#and i kept telling him to stop saying sorry because i didn't have the brain power to phrase#'you could've been more considerate of your volume but you also have the right to use the common space so it's whatever'#but he said it to me again before i went to my room just now and it's like. ok. shut up.#if you actually cared that much u would've just been quieter in the first place actually.#anyways. annoyed. there were some annoying customers in the store today but it was whatever.#i feel like my fucks to give had already worn out with all the ppl in my social circle/my parents and the recent ongoings of that#[redacted] was being passive aggressive to me in the group chat and it's like. ok! idk what u want from me.#and i'm grateful for them for coming over and helping me with cleaning last week#and it's those sorts of actions that let me know they care and want good things for me#but like. i haaaate telling them anything because even innocuous non-private things get turned into judgement with them.#also. more and more i can feel how i'm drifting away from h and now with retrospect i can see how we mutually hurt each other :)#i keep coming back to this one period where i really wanted to take them to try dimsum and they kept saying they were too scared to try it#and in their new friend group they regularly go out n get dimsum together. which on the surface is like. why didn't you want to go with /me#i told you i wanted to share what i liked and i would explain what things were and i could do the talking and you still said no#but it's also very much a reflection of how i always rolled over and enabled them. i never challenged them. i was always passive.#i also feel like i'm heavily neglecting e and a recently and i can tell how the physical distance is affecting us and idk. it's weird.#anyways. another post that should've been a journal entry! lol!#when [redacted] helped with cleaning they also buried my journal under my like#300 packets of sesame candies and i can't be bothered to dig it out. also my bandaids are missing now. <3#ik this also sounds passive aggressive but genuinely appreciate the help i just kinda hate how they think hidin everything in boxes is good#'we need to get you some more storage boxes and containers!!' actually i think that will be the opposite of helpful.#i need everything visible and on open surfaces so i can 1) remember they exist for me to use and 2) not have barriers for me to get to them
8 notes Ā· View notes
13eyond13 Ā· 1 year ago
Text
.
7 notes Ā· View notes
renaissancefailmarriage Ā· 1 year ago
Text
one of the fics i'm most proud of! i think it's the deepest dive into erzsebet's POV that i've written. it deals with her struggle between what she feels is her "true" nature, vs adaptations she has to make in order to survive. ft. spaus, naturally
7 notes Ā· View notes
mozart-the-meerkitten Ā· 10 months ago
Text
Rant
I love my job because I love working with kids. I love seeing them grow and watching the ways their little minds work and helping them when they need it.
I also hate my job because I'll get used and abused all day, having to do things that AREN'T MY RESPONSIBILITY because literally no one else is paying attention to the kids, I am the only one watching even though I'm NOT the teacher, I'm NOT the classroom aide, I am a one-on-one.
But I CARE. I care so FREAKING MUCH about these kids that I can't just not do anything. I have TRIED to not do anything. It never works. And it's maddening and I hate it I hate it I hate that I can be USED in this way.
But by God these kids do not deserve to suffer just because I'm the only adult in the room willing to DO MY GOSHDANGED JOB so I do more than I should because these are LITTLE PEOPLE who don't UNDERSTAND. I want to wear a shirt every day that says, "I'm doing this FOR THE KIDS."
I just wish somebody else would do it for them too.
#rant#parapro#paraprofessional#kids#teacher#rant brought to you by: my coworker who does her job was out today and the teacher wasn't doing squat#and neither was the other teacher/aide#Idk how to classify her she's there because the actual teacher STILL doesn't have her certification#so for legal reasons she has to exist#and I GET that she didn't sign up to do this for a whole school year she signed up to do it for like a month#but crap happens and you're here so DO YOUR JOB#I šŸ‘ AM NOT šŸ‘ THE CLASSROOM šŸ‘ AIDE šŸ‘#STOP TREATING ME LIKE I AM#I'm also still sick and I am just TIRED#there was NO appreciation today#I had to YELL for them to realize one of the kids hurt me (slammed his head into my jaw not fun)#this happens at every parapro job I have I swear#one of the kids called me mean today and I almost lost it I swear#GIRL IT'S BECAUSE I'M THE ONLY ONE DOING ANYTHING#*AND* I'M SICK#not like I wasn't the one to figure out what one of our nonverbal kiddos needed#she had like ten puzzles out on a table and I had her clean them up because the other kids were gonna need the table soon#whole meltdown but we did it#meltdown continues#she's just walking around with a puzzle crying she doesn't want to DO the puzzle but she doesn't want to put it back either#WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO JUST IGNORE THE CRYING CHILD (like everyone else)?!?#yeah did that for about a minute couldn't take it#asked if she needed a hug#got down and asked her what was wrong#she finally does uppy arms at me so I pick her up
6 notes Ā· View notes
moe-broey Ā· 1 year ago
Text
Man it truly sucks that like. The dude who did Planet of the Bass is a piece of shit LMFAO cause like. I feel like the DJ Crazy Times outfits PERFECTLY captured Moe's fashion sense and doodling those outfits spurred on A Bunch of ideas and I was having a lot of fun and even like an epiphany that spurred on a separate deeply self-indulgent project/concept (complete opposite end of the spectrum of indulgence) and then I find out ohhhhh. You weren't Just making fun of the fashion of the times and like, how it feels when you can't process shit so everything sounds a bit funny, and also just like how early 2000s music Is Sometimes (DEEPLY feel the song itself is SO DDR core ESP like... how it's just a bunch of vague jumbled concepts that's catchy AS FUCK) -- you're also a grown ass man still weirdly fixated on your autistic classmate you had in 3rd grade or some shit (have not looked at the vids myself and don't wish to, but from what I've heard it's essentially that).
(Further clarification -- he's making fun of autistic kids who had like, very typical and understandable Needs to accommodate being autistic in a classroom. As a grown adult. Like why are you even still thinking about this LMFAOOO move on, grow up LMFAOOO)
#is this how it feels when you realize ohh they were laughing At Me not with me#cause like growing up i was either passably likable enough that i escaped that OR i was too autistic to notice if it did happen#OR secret third option people were scared of me.#so like i was immune to bullying actually. could not effect me in a way that mattered#also i'm just trusting that word has spread enough that you already have the context. i'm not putting that shit on my blog LMFAOOO#THAT'S LIKE. one of my blog rules. i like to keep it as free from societal horrors and ills and prejudice as possible.#anyway. idk what i'm gonna do now actually. bc i still really had fun drawing/it really captured something in moe's characterization#PLUS it captured something SO significant about its dynamic w sharena as well actually#like yeah it was gonna be a shitpost but it was also a launching off point that like cracked by brain wide open#also i still think the song is SO good. it's SO funny it's so DDR core it's like a masterpiece. to me.#like is this a fnaf case where upon finding out scott bitchboy was quietly donating his profits to anti-lgbt orgs#where i so badly (esp when i was younger) was hoping he was one of the actually good christians who Aren't weirdo freaks about gay people#and upon finding all that out i just blacklisted everything to do w fnaf. but also acknowledging that was easy enough for me#cause it wasn't like a Huge interest of mine it was just something kind of fun that i liked from afar#or do i somehow like. carry on? like esp if the dude isn't profiting from me being autistic LMFAOO#is it possible to just. know and accept that he's a piece of shit weirdo take what i liked/inspired me and leave.#well. in any case. for now i'm keeping the dj crazy times stuff i rb'd on my moecore blog for reference#but depending on the consensus (i would deeply appreciate hearing others thoughts on this if anyone has any)#i may just wipe it clean and scrap the shitposts. i mean. i have other projects i wanna work on anyway LMFAO
3 notes Ā· View notes
jackass-jones Ā· 8 months ago
Text
The most validating thing about having a brother in law is sometimes Iā€™ll make a comment about my parents being kinda horrible and heā€™ll just be like "DUDE FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT IVE BEEN THINKING THIS THE WHOLE TIME BUT DIDNT KNOW HOW TO ADDRESS IT"
#the klock keeps ticking#like i remember about 2 years ago when it really clicked with me that my parents were worse than i let myself believe#i had like covid and so to be safe i completely isolated myself in my room and only came out when no one was around#or with a mask on just to get food or use the bathroom that was it#and like when i had mostly recovered i stopped isolating and i looked around and noticed huh the house is kinda a hot mess#and i realized it was because i was the one who kept up with like basic cleaning and making sure things were in order#so like a little bit later i was in the car with my sister and brother in law and i was talking about this#and i was like ā€˜i think ive realized our parents are kinda unable to take care of themselves without me doing it for themā€™#and my BIL was like IM SO GLAD YOU FINALLY NOTICED THIS HAS BEEN DRIVING ME CRAZY FOR YEARS#which was just so validating i was like okay so im not just being an ass like this is an actual problem#and idk a more recent thing that maybe uh. made me a little bit emotional was we were basically at a cool place where you can climb shit#and he was just kinda there helping me when it seemed i was gonna lose balance to make sure i didnt get hurt#as well as my sister too and i was like oh god is this was like. basic affection feels like???#is this what it feels like to have someone care like actually kinda give a fuck about your safety and well being???#so yeah i maybe am still not okay with that and still dont know how to feel anymore šŸ˜­#so i guess even though hes stinky and i like to bully him I GUESS hes actually a pretty cool guy and he does make my sister happy and he#treats her with respect and hes very good with their cat so yeah maybe i actually really appreciate him and care more about him#than i do my parents and most people in my family#but i cant say that cuz then itll like. go straight to his head šŸ„ŗ#and he still wont play pokepark 2 with me even though he PROMISED its been like 4 years since he said that and WE STILL HAVENT PLAYED IT šŸ‘ŗšŸ‘ŗšŸ‘ŗ
1 note Ā· View note
almostempty Ā· 4 months ago
Text
Never made it as a wise man
(joel miller x f!reader)
Tumblr media
Description: Joel solves your car troubles for free, and you try to return the favor with a homecooked meal. When you accidentally interrupt his jerkoff session, you take a chance and help him out.
Note: yā€™all are out here answering godā€™s toughest questions, like what if emotionally unavailable Joel was loved unconditionally? or what if Joel was the Mothman?, and I deeply appreciate that.Ā 
However, today, I am here to answer a question that nobody askedā€“ What if Joel was a divorced dad rock kinda guy?Ā 
You know, like, listening to Nickelback on an old-school boombox in his garage, or unironically singing Creed on the way to work, or bonding with Ellie over Papa Roach? And also, (inspired by a genius) what if he was a little bit pathetic?Ā 
Anyway, I present to you: divorced dad rock dilf, Joel, ta-da! (my humble submission for @hellishjoelā€˜s hot dilf summer challenge) obvs dedicated to: @auteurdelabre
ao3: read here | masterlist: here | part 2 here | part 3 here
Tags/warnings: AU no outbreak divorced Joel x f!reader, Sarah is not mentioned, but Ellie is your adult coworker, reader is clueless about cars and so am I, gratuitous smut and horny thoughts, implied jorkinā€™ joel but no witnesses, hand job, fingering, premature ejaculation, touch starved kinda loserish but hot divorced dilf joel, heā€™s a real tiddy guy in this one and idk why it just happened, pwp, is it a crackfic? maybe, but i meant it wholeheartedly so idkĀ Ā 
WC: 4.2k
Tumblr media
You pull onto the long driveway, hoping to see Joelā€™s truck. You forgot to text first to see if he would be around, but he did tell you to come by if you ever needed anything. You mostly just hope heā€™ll be willing to accept your gift.Ā 
Last week, heā€™d helped you out by fixing your car. He told you what the issue was, but he might as well have been speaking another language when he described it. You had already brought coffee and a plate of cookies to your coworker Ellie to thank her for dragging you to Joelā€™s to ask for help. Being in a new town was hard enough, but you had no idea how you would handle the price for diagnostics, let alone whatever the repair wouldā€™ve cost. You tried to offer Joel the cash you had as a thanks, but he wouldnā€™t accept it. You tried to argue with him, but Ellie told you it wasnā€™t worth arguing with him. He wouldnā€™t budge. Instead, he had offered to change your oil for you, making you feel even more indebted to him.Ā 
At first, the most you got out of Ellie for intel on Joel was that he was the one responsible for you having to listen to ā€œOne Last Breathā€ and ā€œLips of an Angelā€ at ungodly early hours. Ellie claimed that her music taste was deeply influenced by Joel, and somehow, Ellie is always in charge of the music at work. When you rolled your eyes calling it divorced dad rock, she let it slip that you were right about that.Ā 
That explains a lot when you remember the brief time you spent in his house and shop. The house was clean inside but not tidy. Stray beer bottles and travel mugs dotted the counter and coffee table. But the shop had all the Divorced Dad Barbie accessories.Ā 
The project car and crates of assorted parts. The beer fridge and the plastic lawn chairs in the corner for bullshitting with whoever stopped by. The boombox on the workbench with the stack of CDs. And the fading calendar from another decade with the naked woman kneeling on the beach.Ā 
You hadnā€™t been able to stop your eyes from darting to her sultry expression and swimsuit model-perfect breasts when Joel had been explaining what he was going to do to your car. You wondered if the heat burning in your cheeks had given you away, but he didnā€™t notice then. Ellie sure did, though, and she had rolled her eyes at you, noting it had been up so long she even forgot it was there.Ā 
Luckily, Ellie didnā€™t notice your eyes lingering on Joelā€™s body. You werenā€™t trying to be a creep, but the way his arm flexed when he opened the hood of your car gave you some feral brand of intrusive thoughts. The ratty band t-shirt and the faded jeans were working for him, too, or at least they were doing something for you. Time slowed when your eyes trailed over his arms and down the muscles of his broad back. He just seemed soā€¦ solid. You finally understood what your friends back home meant when they said they wanted to climb a man like a tree. You had jumped a little when Ellie slammed the fridge behind you and shouted at Joel about how he canā€™t just live in the shop drinking shitty beer and eating beef jerky. She had grabbed your arm to drag you to the house for an iced tea while he worked.Ā 
Her comment sparked your idea. You figured Joel must be a utilitarian type. He probably lives on frozen pizzasā€“or even worse, those Hungry-Man frozen TV dinnersā€“instead of making himself something fresh. Maybe heā€™s one of those guys who got really into smoking meats instead. Either way, you hope the lasagna you made from scratch and the other tray of cookies will be an acceptable thank you for his help. He canā€™t refuse it if you already made it, right?Ā 
You pull up next to a truck, assuming itā€™s his, and that heā€™s home. Before you grab the tray, you pause to check your reflection and adjust your breasts in your white tank top, making sure your cleavage pokes out as temptingly as possible.Ā 
You check yourself in the mirror with a look. Why does it matter what you look like? Itā€™s not like youā€™re trying to fuck your only (almost) friendā€™s dad, right? Although she calls him by his first name, not Dad, so maybe thereā€™s like a loophole or something if sheā€™s adopted. You think about the calendar model and her perfect tits hanging on the wall over his tools. It canā€™t hurt to just do a little harmless flirting, right? Maybe you arenā€™t even his type anyway.Ā 
After knocking on the door a couple of times, you frown, wondering if heā€™s not home. On the way back to your car, with your head hung in defeat, your ears perk up at the sound of something clanging in the shop. Of course!Ā 
You skitter back to the front porch to leave your goods by the door and head for the shop to find that divorced DILFā€“Joel, you mean. Itā€™s sweltering out, and sweat is beading on your chest after only a few minutes in the heat. The closer you get, the more easily you can make out the sound of his little CD player blasting another brooding, raspy ballad sung by a white man with a troubled love life.Ā 
The garage door is shut, so you knock on the door on the side of the building. You wait a minute before testing your luck and opening the door yourself. Assessing the shop, you donā€™t see your man, sorry, Joel, at first glance. The music blasts, and the calendar model gives you the same impish smirk through her false lashes and a layer of dust, but thereā€™s no Joel. The evidence clearly dictates that heā€™s in here somewhere, as his tools are strung around his project, the lights are on, and a beer with a sweating label sits on the edge of the workbench.Ā 
You arenā€™t trying to be sneaky. You didnā€™t think to holler and announce your presence over the music. Plus, you didnā€™t fully get your bearings the last time you were here. Now, you can pick up a few more details as your eyes absorb everything they can about anything that gives you a hint about who this guy is.Ā 
The guy thatā€™s been haunting your dreams for a week. Last week, when you walked back to the shop with Ellie to check on your car, you nearly tripped, watching Joel wipe the sweat off his face with the bottom of his shirt. You had just caught a glimpse of the trail of hair disappearing under his jeans, but it was enough to replay in your mind every night as you created your little scenarios to carry you off to sleep.Ā 
The scent memory was somehow worse. It was so easy to transport yourself back in time with the thought of the sweaty musk and the grease or oil smeared on his fingers. It shouldnā€™t turn you on, right?Ā 
You remember thinking he seemed so knowledgeable when describing the issue. You had no idea what he was talking about, but his low voice and patience were enough to tell you he could talk you through anything.Ā 
You notice a few other details as you enter his sacred space today. The woodworking projects, the band posters, and the pictures with Ellie and other family members tacked to the wall over another workbench.Ā 
Still, no Joel, however.Ā 
You circle the partially disassembled project truck and see a door to another room. It would be the office if the shop were a professional business. Thereā€™s a window along the wall, but instead of a boss watching an employee, itā€™s you hoping to see that brawny man and his dark curls.Ā 
As you step closer, you nearly squeal. There he is. Well, at least, you can see the broad shoulders and back youā€™ve been picturing above you in bed. You practically skip to the door. Itā€™s already open a crack, and you give it a knock, calling his name as it swings open from the force of your rapping knuckles.Ā Ā Ā 
The next moment is a blur.Ā 
ā€œShit, fuck, hold on!ā€ Joel shouts gruffly as he slams the door in your face. But you already heard it. The phony wailing noises that came from the busted speaker on his phone.Ā 
You still face the closed door, trying to process the interaction before he wrenches the door back open. Heā€™s breathing rapidly, chest rising and falling, as he looks at you with wide eyes that quickly narrow.Ā 
ā€œWhat are you doing here?ā€ he barks.Ā 
Your hands fall to your sides, and you start to step back, ready to turn and run.Ā 
He catches your fear and tries to adjust, but youā€™re faster.Ā 
ā€œSorry,ā€ you mumble as you turn and try to dash away. Joelā€™s quick, too, though, and he grabs your wrist.Ā 
ā€œHey, wait,ā€ he loosens his grip when you spin back towards him, ā€œI just didnā€™t hear you cominā€™. Wasnā€™t expecting you.ā€Ā 
ā€œSorry,ā€ you repeat, stuttering as you continue, ā€œI-I just, uh, just wanted to say thanks for your help last week.ā€ You stare at the floor. Unsure why youā€™re embarrassed, you feel so small after he saw your face and practically shouted at you.Ā 
ā€œAll right,ā€ he rumbles. Youā€™re too busy staring at the crack in the concrete floor to notice how his eyes are glued to your exposed skin. Or to see the blotchy red flush that crawls up his neck and toward his face.Ā 
But your brain starts to catch up. Joel mightā€™ve snapped at you, but youā€™re the one that caught him in the act. You donā€™t lift your head, but your eyes trail over his stained and faded jeans until youā€™re studying his crotch.Ā 
Bingo. Itā€™s almost too easy. You can make out the outline of his erection tucked up in his waistband. Even more glaring evidence is the open fly. You wish you had caught what he was watching. How does he like it? What does he search for when he wants to jerk off in the back office on a hot Saturday afternoon?Ā 
He clears his throat, and you snap your attention to his face. ā€œWas there somethinā€™ you needed?ā€ He asks.Ā 
ā€œYes.ā€ You tell him youā€™ve got a lasagna that should get into a fridge before it reheats in the sun. He follows you toward the front door and into the house, not missing how your hips sway as you lead.Ā 
Once the tray is shoved into the fridge, nestled between some takeout containers, he turns to thank you. ā€œYou didnā€™t need to do all that,ā€ he gruffs over the cookies and homemade meal.Ā 
You step back to lean against the counter, littered with mail and more coffee cups, and let yourself check him out up close. His faded Creed t-shirt has holes around the neck. Heā€™s got that same sweaty man musk going on, and you wish you knew why that stirred your arousal, but your pussy lacks logic.Ā 
ā€œI know, I know,ā€ you reply, ā€œbut you really saved my ass with the car, and I wanted to do something for you. You know, some way to pay you back?ā€Ā 
ā€œAll right, well, thanks,ā€ he trails off. He doesnā€™t seem to know what else to say. Maybe you should be on your way already, but heā€™s not ushering you out the door.Ā 
This time, you do catch when his eyes drop to your chest. Thereā€™s no way youā€™re imagining the tension between you as you stand in his kitchen while he stares at your barely clothed tits, right? Fuck it. Youā€™re gonna go for it.Ā 
You take a step towards him. ā€œI wasnā€™t sure if it was really enough,ā€ your voice is soft and tempting, and your sweet perfume wafts towards him like a lust potion. Joel swallows thickly as you approach.
He knows you mustā€™ve put it together, but he tried to delude himself. Maybe you couldnā€™t hear the theatrical screams of the woman he was watching get railed before he slammed the door in your face. He hopes all you heard was Chad Kroegerā€™s voice screaming, ā€œThis time I'm mistaken
For handin' you a heart worth breakin'ā€ from the stereo.. on the other side of the shop.Ā 
ā€œYou worked so hard,ā€ you continued with one final step, and now youā€™re nearly toe-to-toe in front of him. ā€œThere has to be something else I could do.ā€ Youā€™re so close to him. He forgets to respond. It takes all his power to keep his eyes on your face.Ā 
You have a wild urge to taste the sweat on his neck, but you keep your tongue to yourself. He hasnā€™t made any move to encourage you, but he hasnā€™t stopped you yet either, so you figure itā€™s worth taking a risk.Ā 
ā€œMaybe youā€™ve got a problem I could help you with.ā€ You go for it, reaching your hand out to palm at the bulge in his jeans.Ā 
Again, too many things happen at once. Joel snaps out a ā€œWhat?ā€ in disbelief. His hand circles your wrist tightly. His hips jerk, involuntarily bucking into your palm. Your glossy lips part into an ā€œoā€ shape at the size of his not-quite-hard cock. And now youā€™re both locked into this position like statues.Ā 
His fingers stay firmly wrapped around your wrist, but he doesnā€™t pull you away. Your fingers squeeze over his jeans, and your eyes flash wide as you can feel his cock twitch and stiffen at your touch. The touch that rapidly overrides your better judgment, drowning you in want. Your clit twitches itself in response, your nipples strain under your thin tank top, and your eyelids feel heavy immediately.Ā 
ā€œWhat are you doing?ā€ His voice crackles like he hadnā€™t just used it. You slide your hand to pop the button on his jeans, and he releases your wrist as you flip it to slip your fingers under the waistband of his boxers in search of his cock.Ā 
ā€œLet me help,ā€ you say in more of a whispered tone. The searing heat between Joelā€™s legs makes you salivate. Your fingers graze coarse curls before you acquire your target, wrapping your palm and fingers around his thick shaft. His size has your cunt throbbing in your shorts.Ā 
Joelā€™s eyes are squeezed shut. He looks nearly in pain. You pull your hand back out to let the pool of saliva on your tongue drip into your palm.Ā 
ā€œJesus,ā€ he breathes out, watching your lewd maneuver. ā€œYou wanna help?ā€ He repeats your plea in the form of a question, a little dumbfounded. Heā€™s trying to figure out whatā€™s happening right now.Ā 
ā€œI do,ā€ you answer in a honeyed voice as you dig your hand back into his pants. Heā€™s unable to respond with words as you swirl your palm over the head of his cock, mixing saliva and precome, but his body eggs you on. He bucks into your fist, and you work quickly, pumping his throbbing length. The slick noises are muffled by the layers of clothing, but the grunts that catch in his throat shoot piping-hot desire straight into your core.Ā 
He looks a little desperate, eyes slammed shut again, jaw slack, arms hanging uselessly at his side. And for god knows why, the entire scene pulls a moan from your lips. The sweet sound snaps Joel back to attention. His hands shoot straight to your breasts, cupping them gently to feel them bounce against the motion of your arm wrestling with his jeans to keep stroking his cock.Ā 
Theyā€™re so close to spilling over your tank top on their own. Joel canā€™t resist tugging the thin material until they spill over the top. The sight alone nearly has him coming in his pants. But then you moan so loudly when he squeezes them both and pinches at your nipples, and he really canā€™t stop.Ā 
ā€œFuck, fuck, wait,ā€ he spits out, but itā€™s too late. His hips jerk erratically, thrusting into your slick fist, and heā€™s coming. It coats your hand and wrist and makes an absolute mess.Ā  You relax your grip when his whole body seems to shudder and gently remove your hand. He tries to choke his groan of frustration before it surfaces, but he immediately pauses his shame spiral when he sees you suck your come-coated fingers one by one.Ā 
ā€œGod, thatā€™s so fucking hot,ā€ you tell him. At the same time, heā€™s muttering curses at the sight of you. Youā€™re feeling a little giddy that all it took was your hand and showing your tits to have Joel losing control and spilling his load for you. It has your mouth curling into an impish grin.Ā 
Heā€™s got the sight of you half topless in his kitchen, licking your fingers, looking awfully proud of yourself, etching into his memory. Before the blood can return to his brain, he grabs you tightly by the ribs and walks you backward towards the counter. He lifts you onto it and wrenches open your shorts, yanking at them as you lift your hips so he can slide them off of you and drop them onto the kitchen floor.Ā 
Yes! Yes! Yes! The horny little goblins in your brain shriek and chant, incited by the rough and impulsive way Joel gropes at you. Itā€™s barbaric, and that delights you.Ā 
Sitting on the counter, you give him such perfect access to put his mouth on your breasts that he forgets what he was going to say. He mouths at each of them wetly, his beard tickling you as heā€™s busy sucking marks into your delicate skin. He sucks and bites at your strained nipples until your loud whines turn into a sharp gasp, and he pulls back.Ā 
The heavy-lidded look on your face has him diving back in for more, and you groan and arch into his touch. You rake your fingers into the curls at the back of his neck and tug at him. He grunts and moans into your skin, and it drives you wild. You need to feel him closer.Ā 
You grab the worn cotton on his shoulders until he lets you slip the shirt over his head and drop it onto the counter next to you. It gives you the briefest moment to take in the sight of his built chest and shoulders and softer midsection with that trail of hair you had memorized. You need to taste the salt on his skin.Ā 
Spreading your legs wider, he slots his hips against yours at the edge of the counter, and you run your tongue along his neck. You slide one of your hands down the smooth golden skin of his shoulder, and the other nestles back in his messy curls as his mouth finds yours.Ā 
He tastes like cheap coffee and the peppermint nicotine gum parked above his teeth along the left side of his mouth. You know itā€™s wrong that you canā€™t get enough. But you're helpless when he pulls your bottom lip between his teeth, and you mindlessly roll your hips, seeking any relief.Ā 
Heā€™s grumbling in your ear about how it seems like you need help now, but you couldnā€™t care less about the words coming out of his mouth. His deep voice alone could get you off. You let out an uninhibited whine at the thought.Ā 
ā€œJesus Christ,ā€ he pulls back. His head hangs, staring at the floor. He shakes it in what you assume is disbelief. You donā€™t want to wait for him to think any further. You grab his hand, pulling it between your legs.
ā€œReally, fucking, hot.ā€ You echo your earlier declaration. Doing your best to sound assertive. You figure at least your soaked panties will prove your point.Ā 
ā€œFuck,ā€ he stifles a groan. Youā€™re so wet it coats his fingertips through the thin material. He nudges his fingers into you, over your panties, and you whimper for him. The fabric sticks to you and makes an obscene sound as he toys with you for only seconds. ā€œOh, you do need my help. Hm?ā€Ā 
You nod, spreading your legs wider for Joel to have access. He scoffs at you, displayed eagerly atop his kitchen counter. ā€œJust desperate for me, arenā€™t ya?ā€
You snap your legs back shut with a glare.Ā 
ā€œNo way,ā€ you press, jabbing a finger into his chest, ā€œyou donā€™t get to laugh at me like Iā€™m a slut for you when you just came in your pants for me.ā€Ā 
His nostrils flare, and blotchy red patches creep up his neck again. You arenā€™t sure what kind of bear youā€™ve just, quite literally, poked.Ā 
ā€œBut you are, arenā€™t you?ā€ He challenges. ā€œYou came all this way in this excuse for a shirt, just for me.ā€Ā 
He wedges his hand back between your closed thighs, and you relax just enough to let him work his way back to your core. Your breathing gives you away when it hitches and stutters as he traces his fingers along the hem of the fabric between your legs. You let your legs fall a little wider apart, and he sinks a finger beneath the hem and right inside of you to the knuckle.Ā 
A whiny noise rolls in the back of your throat.Ā 
ā€œShh,ā€ he sinks a second finger inside of you, and your muscles spasm and contract, ā€œthatā€™s better, hmm?ā€ He slowly pulls his fingers almost all the way out and then plunges them back in. He repeats this, and your core tenses as you writhe for him.Ā 
ā€œYou need more?ā€Ā 
ā€œYes.ā€Ā 
ā€œYeah, you do.ā€ He adds a third finger, and the slight stretch makes you hum.Ā 
ā€œYou just need to be filled up, hm?ā€ He teases you. Awfully confident now for a guy you just caught watching porn on his phone in a grimy back office in the middle of the afternoon.Ā 
But your noises and impatient movements spur him on. His sticky cock is filling out his jeans again. He nearly drools at the thought of the wet walls of your cunt, currently wrapped around his fingers, sliding over his cock instead. He knows you want it, too.
ā€œDonā€™t you?ā€ He asks like you could read his mind.
ā€œHm?ā€ You hum absently. Empty headed. Youā€™re still taken by the entire pulpy, messy scene.Ā 
Reveling in the vulnerability of being spread open on his cluttered counter as youā€™re both half-dressed and panting in the otherā€™s hot breath. Any semblance of the lightness of your mood is quickly replaced with a blinding need. His fingers work into you, making obscene sounds, and then you add your own fingers. Circling your swollen clit just as he lets you in on his vision.Ā 
ā€œYou wanna bounce on my lap. Fill this pussy with my cock.ā€Ā 
ā€œYes,ā€ you hiss as you hover at the edge.Ā 
ā€œYeah, thatā€™s it,ā€ he watches your fingers working deftly over your swollen clit. The encouragement tips you over. Your body jolts erratically as you contract around his fingers, and bright sparks of pleasure course through you.Ā 
ā€œYeah, youā€™re gonna ride me like fuckinā€™ champ,ā€ he decides. You pull at his wrist when you start to feel overwhelmed, and he slides his wet fingers over your soft inner thigh. Heā€™s ready to grab you and carry you to the couch when both of your heads snap to attention at the sound of a door slamming in the driveway.Ā 
ā€œShit,ā€ he grumbles, looking for the clock on the stove before he remembers itā€™s definitely not set to the right time. You move nimbly, shimmying into your shorts, snapping your straps back over your shoulder, and brushing your hair out of your face.Ā 
ā€œHey, wait,ā€ he calls for you, but youā€™re on the move.Ā 
ā€œLet me know when I can pick up the baking dish,ā€ you call over your shoulder. Luckily, Joelā€™s next guest seemed to know him better. They were off to search the shop first, so you didnā€™t collide with anyone before you got to your car. Joel stayed locked in the kitchen, catching his breath while you started to pull away. He didnā€™t see that you stole his dirty Creed shirt off the counter before you skipped out the door.Ā 
When you grab it later to wear to bed, a naughty little smile tugs at the corners of your lips. When you pull the worn fabric to your nose to inhale deeply, you wonder if itā€™s one of those weird pheromone matches or something because youā€™re sure the sweaty man musk should be wrinkling your nose.Ā 
Instead, it makes you think of his big arms and chest filling out the shirt. And how his shoulder and back muscles ripple under his sun-bronzed skin. What theyā€™d look like coated in a sheen of salty sweat as he railed you, bent over his workbench, under the watchful eye of the calendar model and her flirty smize.Ā 
The image has you interrupting your own scenarios-before-bed time. Maybe Joel needs a model from this decade. You giggle, bunching up the t-shirt to snap a tasteful shot of some underboob cleavage, with the faded Creed logo on full display.Ā 
You send it off with no context, figuring itā€™s self-explanatory. Itā€™s less than a minute before your phone buzzes, and you feel the intoxicating rush rip through your body before you pick it up to see just the heading on your lockscreen:Ā 
Joel
Attachment 1 image
Tumblr media
part 2 here | part 3 here
divider by @cyberangel-graphics
Please let me know if you enjoyed or hated this or a secret third thing (???) heheh
2K notes Ā· View notes
kiirschtein-archive Ā· 2 years ago
Text
ā‹† 怌 š›šžš¢š§š  š¦šžš š®š¦š¢ā€™š¬ (ššššØš©š­š¢šÆšž) š¦šØš¦. 怍 ā‹†
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
feat. ā€” toji fushiguro x f!reader, kid!megumi
word count. ā€” 1.4k
content. ā€” sfw, non-sorcerer au, established relationship (marriage), mostly just fluffy domestic stuff, reader is addressed as ā€˜mom/mama/mommy,ā€™ tojiā€™s kind of a bad parent but heā€™s working on it, brief mention of toji smoking (cigarettes), overprotective!toji, very minor suggestive themes (from toji šŸ™„ heā€™s a walking cw/tw)
notes. ā€” idk. this has been incessantly on my brain pretty much from the moment i Ā woke up today, even to the point where i was writing half of this at Ā the laundromat lmao. motherā€™s day yesterday had me feeling some type of way, so here have some fun headcanons from a strange eldest daughter!!!! (i might end up doing a set of these for gojo x reader too šŸ¤”)
Tumblr media
ā‹† 怌 ā€” heā€™s not your biological son, but youā€™ve been around since you started seeing toji when megumi was still a baby. but now, a few years later, you might as well be his real mother. you certainly act like it and feel like it, so toji gladly initiates the conversation about official adoption. it just makes sense. you eventually explain the situation to megumi as best as you can simply so that he doesn't grow up thinking he was lied to or anything of the sort, but as far as he's concerned, you're his mom whether it's by blood or not.
ā‹† 怌 ā€” and oh, megumiā€™s a mamaā€™s boy. i imagine heā€™s just a little bit of a healthier kid vs. canon given the better family situation, but heā€™s still always a bit of a grumpy baby, appreciating his autonomy and trying to be as self-sufficient and mature as he can be. but heā€™ll most certainly run to you when he needs help, is truly hurt, or just needing a bit of comfort. youā€™ve always treated him so softly and kindly with understanding, so he honestly feels more comfortable coming to you most of the time instead of his dad.
ā‹† 怌 ā€” he likes the way you organize the bookshelf in his room or fold and sort his clothes in special little ways. he gets upset any time toji tries to put a book back in the wrong place or canā€™t figure out where his damn socks are. gumi will scowl and say, ā€œthatā€™s not where it goes.ā€ or go deadpan and be like, ā€œmom always keeps the socks in the bottom drawer.ā€ disappointed that his father canā€™t even remember. toji just grumbles and says, ā€œyour mamaā€™s gonna ruin you.ā€
ā‹† 怌 ā€” has called you 'mom' basically since he was old enough, but don't let him fool you. megumi will drop the big boy act and come out with 'mama' or 'mommy' when something's wrong or he's really excited. he'll come to you with quiet tears and sniffles, a little ashamed that he's crying, but present to you a scraped elbow, "mama... it hurts." you clean up the scrape and explain to him the little medical details in a somewhat understandable way to help him focus on something besides the pain, and you tell him that it'll be okay, and that it's alright to cry. or on the flip-side, you and toji take him to the zoo, little gumi on his dad's shoulders, and he gasps and points excitedly, "look, mommy! look at the big elephant!" and it feels incredible to see him be so spirited.
ā‹† 怌 ā€” along the lines of the art from this post and the thought i had about it earlier, just imagine that you're at some event (maybe like a birthday party or something), and toji's been hauling megumi around. they're both so over it at this point and are like 'please get me out of this' so as soon as toji walks past the obnoxious inflatable bouncy house, he smirks and just YEETS that kid inside without a second thought. after regaining his breath, megumi just looks at his father with the most EVIL little scowl as other kids bounce around him with smiles. by the look on that child's face you could've swore that his father had just done him the ultimate betrayal.
so gumi slides out and hurriedly makes his way over to where you're sitting off to the side, quietly climbing into your lap for a little bit of solace. he wiggles in close to your chest and you tuck him under your chin with a ā€˜come here, sweetpea,ā€™ rocking slowly and humming something soft because he always seems to like it when you do.
toji comes over and you look at him through narrowed eyes. "kids are supposed to like shit like that," he says.
"you know he likes when things are more quiet," you respond, and toji rolls his eyes at how you seemingly spoil your son.
"just thought it might be good for him to try and get along with the other brats." toji tries to cover up the fact that he tossed his kid for the sheer personal enjoyment of it.
you huff in disbelief. "oh, like you get along so well with everyone?"
he scoffs and moves in behind you, leaning down to place a kiss on your neck. "i get along with you," he says almost suggestively.
you just keep stroking megumi's hair and give the top of his head a gentle kiss. "yeah, well not today," you say, shooting a smug, resolute smile towards your husband, ultimately taking his son's side.
ā‹† 怌 ā€” outside of his alone time, megumi would honestly much rather be with you instead of other children. toji thinks it's probably unhealthy and you're inclined to agree, but you also don't want to force megumi into situations that will just make him miserable. so, when appropriate, you don't mind at all pacing around with him in your arms or have him walk next to you (maybe holding your hand if heā€™s not in a ā€˜big boyā€™ mood), teaching him about the things you see in the woods, the park, or even the museum. when toji's not away working, he'll join too because it admittedly makes his heart feel soft to watch you two together. it always has, because you've been doing this with megumi since he was a baby. it never gets old. if it wasn't already so difficult trying to figure out how to do things right by his son, he'd want you to give him even more babies.
ā‹† 怌 ā€” megumi likes doing things with his dad sometimes too, though. toji tries his best to do it right and watch both his mouth and his temper. you like seeing them getting along, even if it's just quietly watching tv or a movie (probably a cartoon where toji gets kind of into and will ask the occasional question like "why does that one stupid chick keep doing that?" and megumi just shrugs like, "i dunno. she is pretty dumb.") or playing ball outside because gumi's starting to show some athleticism. but you have to remind toji that he can't always be so rough or competitive with games because megumi is literally a child.
ā‹† 怌 ā€” toji can also be way too overprotective of you two at times. you'll be out and about and he'll just be wearing such an intimidating expression as he walks behind you both, on the lookout for anyone who might want to cause trouble or take the wrong sort of glance at his wife. he'll even snap at people for walking too close or like cutting in line or something petty, and you have to tell him stop acting like an attack dog and looking like the grim reaper because dear god you're literally just having lunch at the park. even at his age, megumi's just eating his ice cream and looking at his dad with his little baby deadpan expression and thinking "this man really needs to take a chill pill." other times he can be more relaxed, however, obviously confident in his ability to protect you. it depends on his mood. but that still doesnā€™t stop him from being embarrassing and going off on people in public if something happens.
ā‹† 怌 ā€” you also know all of gumiā€™s favorite meals and snacks. itā€™s yet another one of those things where, if his dad does it wrong, megumi expresses a disappointment beyond his years. toji will be making and packing his sonā€™s school lunch just as instructed by the notes you gave him, but itā€™s by no means as neat and meticulous as when you do it. tojiā€™s got a cigarette hanging out of his mouth with furrowed, concentrating brows, his free hand shakily reaching for a cup of fresh coffee, and megumiā€™s standing there with his little backpack, criticizing his father the entire time. ā€œmom doesnā€™t do it like that,ā€ he says.
ā€œwell mom ainā€™t here right now. and it doesnā€™t matter how the sandwich is cut, is still tastes the damn same.ā€
gumi doesnā€™t even physically react, still wearing the same neutral expression, just waiting for his dad to hurry up. ā€œmom says you shouldnā€™t smoke. and she also says not to use bad words.ā€
toji scoffs and then smirks. ā€œwell mommy uses all sorts of bad words you donā€™t even know about when her and daddy have play time.ā€
megumiā€™s already almost late for school and can barely feel his feet from how tight his dad tied his shoelaces. he also asks you later about ā€œplay time,ā€ and you want to absolutely murder your husband over it.
Tumblr media
8K notes Ā· View notes
gigisaquarium Ā· 9 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
captain's quarters, monkey d. luffy x reader š™š likes, comments, and reposts are so appreciated !! requests are encouraged !! iā€™m looking for friends and regulars !! this is my first time writing in a few months, please consider this a warm up
š™š summary : Luffy's filter, or lack thereof, often times got him into trouble, even for simple things, like his obvious favoritism. (Spoiler alert: you're his favorite.) However, this time, it was quite beneficial.
š™š warnings: SMUT !! goofy first time, cutely awkward, no piv YET, masturbation, silly luffy rambles, possible bad/messy writing itā€™s been forever, kind of too long?? idk
def not proofread itā€™s like wayyy to late for that
Luffy wasnā€™t ā€œsexyā€ by any means. He was very attractive and had a bright personality, but he was such an idiot. He was always goofing off or sneaking a snack when the crew wasnā€™t under attack, so you never thought youā€™d have any thought of having sex with your captain. You doubted he was even aware of sex. It wasnā€™t something that crossed your mind, at least until last week.
It was an unspoken rule of respect to not enter Luffyā€™s room. The captainā€™s quarters were typically private places to wind down and exist outside of being a pirate. However, being the thoughtful person you were, you decided to do Luffyā€™s laundry for him. In reality, you were hoping to catch a little glimpse into his mind. Curiosity had taken over, and you just wanted a tiny peek, just an idea of what his room looked like. Was it clean or messy? Was it decorated? Simple questions that had plagued your mind.
Luffy seemed to plague your mind quite a bit these days. A simple memory of him made you smile and you found yourself wondering how his day was going if you stayed in the girlā€™s dorms for a longer period of time than usual. There was no doubt that you were the captainā€™s favorite, and you wondered if that is what originally swayed you. After thinking on it over night, you decided it was just his big heart and his pretty smile that drew you in.
Thatā€™s how your curiosities came about. Thatā€™s why you were stood outside of Luffyā€™s door all those days ago, shocked to hear that he had beat you there. You were expecting the room to be temporarily abandoned, especially since Luffy never stayed in one place. He was in there, though, and it was obvious. While muffled, you could clearly hear his grunts and whines, and you nearly froze in place. You werenā€™t stupid; you knew what he was doing. You were simply shocked. You werenā€™t sure if you were more caught off guard or more surprised that Luffy even knew how to jack off. He always seemed so oblivious about everything.
Time passed, and the sounds he made creeped into your mind more and more. You hadnā€™t spoken to him much since. You left the laundry basket outside his door and had simply retreated. You werenā€™t purposefully avoiding him. You just felt so flustered every time you saw him, now. He had definitely noticed this and began to make an effort to figure out what was bothering you.
ā€œAre you mad at me,ā€ he would ask, following you around the Sunny as you kept yourself busy. You would simply smile and shake your head. ā€œNo, of course not.ā€ He gave up on that after a while, instead trying to think back on every small detail from the past few days. He wasnā€™t much of a thinker, though. It got frustrating quickly.
He finally made the connection when he remembered finding the laundry basket outside of his room after he came all over his stomach. It was an aha moment for him, and he quickly rushed to find you, despite the clock reading 2:54 am. ā€œY/n,ā€ he whispered, standing at the entrance of the girlā€™s dorm. He moved closer to you, gently tapping you on the shoulder in attempt to wake you.
When you finally open your eyes, eyes fluttering in confusion and eyebrows drawn together, he tugs on your arm. ā€œI know why youā€™ve been avoiding me,ā€ he whispers, pulling you out of bed. You felt your stomach churn, and, suddenly, you were very awake. You let him pull you up onto the deck, using your free hand to rub your eyes. ā€œYou do,ā€ you question in a hushed expression of surprise. How did he figure it out?
ā€œYeah! Youā€™re upset that I donā€™t let you in my room,ā€ he answers, pulling you towards his room. Whatā€¦? ā€œI saw the laundry you left outside of my door, and I realized that you never go inside. So Iā€™m taking you to my room, so you can see inside,ā€ he goes on, looking back at you with a sleepy grin.
ā€œLuffy, no, thatā€™s not it. Itā€™s okay,ā€ you tell, but he was already pushing his door open, urging you to step inside. Taking the opportunity to look around, you purse your lips. It was veryā€¦ Luffy. Clean, but not organized. There wasnā€™t anything on his floors, but his bed was unmade and miscellaneous trinkets were scattered across his desk. ā€œThen what is it?ā€ He questions, dropping down onto his bed, the springs rattling.
ā€œI donā€™t think itā€™s somethingā€¦ we should talk about.ā€ He tilts his head before flopping backwards, peeling off his socks. ā€œYou can talk to me about anything. I like to know what youā€™re thinking,ā€ Luffy assured you, stretching out on the big mattress. You let out a little huff, playing with a little ceramic shrimp that was sitting on the edge of his bedside table. ā€œIt was something I wasnā€™t supposed to know, anyways. Hear, not know,ā€ you explain, looking down at him.
You sensed his dusty cogs spinning, spiderwebs snapping as he analyzed your words. ā€œIt was during the day, right? You probably heard me jerking off,ā€ he says simply, sitting up now. ā€œIs that whatā€™s bothering you? Are you jealous? I wasnā€™t thinking about other girls or anything. I was thinking about you.ā€
You had no idea how he could say that with such a straight face. It was difficult for you to even process his words. How did this idiotā€™s brain even work? ā€œOkay, yesā€¦ that is what had been on my mind, but I really didnā€™t mean to avoid you over it. And, no, I wasnā€™t jealous, I was justā€¦ it was difficult for me to not think about you in that kind of way after hearing that,ā€ you ramble on, nerves getting to you now.
ā€œI thought that we liked each other, so, thought youā€™d be jealous,ā€ he explains, scratching his head while slowly kicking his feet. It was too early in the morning forā€¦ whatever this was. ā€œDo we? Do you like me?ā€ You ask, trying to form a cohesive thought. Luffy was making it difficult. ā€œI really like you. I thought you knew that,ā€ he giggles, laying back again. ā€œYeah, I guess I did.ā€
Did he not feel awkward at all? Maybe it was just you . You were putting too much thought into it. ā€œThen I guess we do like each other,ā€ you finally sigh. It felt better for it to be out in the open than kept tucked away, anyways. ā€œDo you wanna know what I was thinking about?ā€ Luffy asks softly, filling the silence. You lie down next to him, raising a brow. ā€œWhen I was getting off,ā€ he clarifies.
Would it be weird to say yes? ā€œSure,ā€ you mumble, eyes locked on the grey-ish ceiling that was clearly worn down. ā€œI was thinking about you doing it for me. ā€˜Cus I think Iā€™d rather you do it, than me,ā€ he tells. You got that feeling in your stomach again, a burning fire that demanded attention. ā€œDo you want to?ā€ He follows up, clearly not satisfied with your silence. ā€œRight now,ā€ you ask, completely surprised.
ā€œYeah. Unless you donā€™t wanna go so fast. Then you donā€™t have to,ā€ he tells, propping his head up so he could look at you better. Your heart was way too quick and your thighs were reacting before your brain could. The subtle press of them didnā€™t fly over Luffyā€™s head. Sanji had told him way too much about women. ā€œIf you want to,ā€ you nod, throat feeling dry. Luffy looks straight into your eyes. You never knew what he was thinking. ā€œI want you to want to. Donā€™t do it just for me,ā€ he says firmly.
ā€œI want to,ā€ you tell him. ā€œI do.ā€ He stares a little longer, finally scooting closer. Putting a hand on the side of your face, he pressed a small kiss to your nose. After a moment of hesitation, he moved on to your lips. It was clear that he was inexperienced; the kiss was all over the place, and lasted a little bit too long for what it was, but you didnā€™t mind. Your head was spinning, anyways. For whatever reason, Luffy begins to giggle again. ā€œWhat?ā€ You pull back, unable to keep yourself from joining in on his laughter.
ā€œIā€™m just happy,ā€ he tells you, kissing your cheek. ā€œI like kissing you.ā€ It isnā€™t long before you feel him beginning to gently rub himself against your leg. After a few more kisses, he reaches down, unbuttoning his shorts. You donā€™t know why you were surprised to see him drop his pants so casually. ā€œI donā€™t know if I can wait any longer.ā€ He always was impatient. It didnā€™t bother you, though. You were more caught up in the moment. Nervous, aroused, and caught up in anticipation.
ā€œLook. You do it like this,ā€ he instructs, taking your hand and rubbing it against his hardened cock. ā€œI know. I justā€¦ Iā€™m nervous,ā€ you explain. You had been trying not to look. You wanted to look, you just couldnā€™t. ā€œThen you donā€™t have to. We can stop,ā€ he hums, pulling his hand away from yours. ā€œI want to keep going.ā€ You finally muster up the confidence to look down, gently moving your hand up and down his shaft, that was beginning to leak just because you were so pretty.
Luffy lets out a little breath, putting his hand back on yours. ā€œSqueeze it.ā€ He looks up, remembering his manners. ā€œPlease.ā€ A word as simple as please fed the flames in your stomach, and you were quick to really go for it this time. You gently rub a small circle around his tip with your index finger, spreading the precum that was dripping down his balls now. Luffy grabs your wrist, letting out a breathy moan. You continue on, lightly running your fingers over the spot right under the head, his cock immediately twitching. ā€œFeels good,ā€ Luffy mumbles, putting a hand on your knee.
ā€œYou like this,ā€ you ask, rubbing the tip again, and he nods, but moves your hand to his shaft. ā€œLike it, but ā€˜s too much. Right here, rub here.ā€ His face had grown pink, and he couldnā€™t seem to hold back a smile. ā€œYouā€™re doing really good. So good,ā€ Luffy assures, pulling the sleeves to your sweater up to your elbows. He thought of the little things like that, even if he wasnā€™t one for thinking.
Dragging your hand up and down his throbbing dick, you realized how intimate the moment felt. There was no longer this odd pressure in your chest or a dark fog surround your brain. Your nerves subsided and you felt heat rising in your own body. You were snapped back into reality when you found the perfect amount of pressure and the right speed. Luffy began to grunt with each agonizing pump. ā€œIā€™m ā€˜bout to cum. I can do it if you want. Itā€™s messy,ā€ he tells, looking up at the ceiling.
ā€œā€˜S okay. I donā€™t mind a mess,ā€ you mumble, twisting your hand at the tip and using your free hand to carefully squeeze his balls, seeing what worked and what didnā€™t. Finally, you could see his stomach tense, Luffy letting out a heavy groan as the built up tension finally released in an explosion. ā€œThank you, pretty, shit, shit, shit,ā€ he mumbles. ā€œKeep going a little,ā€ he requests, putting his hand over yours so you could help him ride out his high.
After itā€™s all over, he cleans up, meeting you back at his door. He wraps you up in his arms, swaying side to side. ā€œIt feels better when itā€™s you. Tomorrow Iā€™ll do something for you, ā€˜kay?ā€ He whispers, stepping outside with you. ā€œā€˜Kay,ā€ you grin, pulling away from his hug.
What the fuck just happened?
.
this was lowkey butt
ITS OKAY THOUGH ILL DO WAYYYY BETTER WHEN IM NOT SO TIRED AND HAVE A GOOD IDEA
408 notes Ā· View notes
planetpedri Ā· 19 days ago
Note
hiiiā€¦ā€¦. lando comes home and shows reader his new haircut?
Tumblr media
Lover // over the moon š–¦¹ Lando Norris !
Summary. Lando hadnā€™t told you about his haircut and he was.. well, scared to show you.. but your response quickly put his worried to rest.
Word count. 395+
Disclaimers. basically fluff idk
Bea speaks! okay so i donā€™t really know where i was going w this..? i hate it but i hope vee likes it!!ā€¦.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Landoā€™s voice calling out your name only had you momentarily pausing, the wet plate in your hand nearly slipping. ā€œIn the kitchen!ā€ You call out over your shoulder, setting the dish into the dishwasher.
His foot steps are soft on the wooden floor as he slowly makes his way toward you, ā€œhow was your day?ā€ He asks casually when you donā€™t immediately turn to greet him.
Your lip curves, ā€œgood. And yours?ā€
Lando, still nervous, his stomach doing flips at the thought of anything but a good reaction from youā€”gingerly steps closer, his arms slithering around your waist. The action elicited a small laugh from you, tipping your head to the side as he placed a kiss to your shoulder.
ā€œBetter now.ā€ He mumbles against your skin. ā€œAlso, donā€™t likeā€”freak out or anything, but..ā€
The sweet moment was well over. You spin around in his arm, eyes widening at the sight in front of you. Lando is silent as your eyes dart over his head, your fingertips pressing into his cheeks as you push it side to side.
ā€œWhy was I not consulted?ā€ Your eyebrows lift and your gaze drops to his eyes. Noticing the worry displayed across your boyfriendā€™s adorable face, you soften. ā€œIā€™m not complaining. Just.. well, iā€™m surprised! Thatā€™s all.ā€
His expression lifts at your comforting words, ā€œit was an impulsive decision, plus.. Oscar and I had a bet. I lost.ā€
A laugh tumbles off your lips, ā€œwhat?ā€
ā€œI donā€™t want to talk about it.ā€ The man grumbles lowly. ā€œDo you like it or is a beanie going to have to make an appearance?ā€
Feigning to think, your finger grazes his cheek. ā€œI actually,ā€ you pause, tilting his head again, examining the way the sides slowly faded, ā€œI actually love it.ā€ Your tone was almost surprised, like you hadnā€™t thought youā€™d actually like it so much.
ā€œYeah?ā€ His face lights up one again, his smile lifting to show his tooth gap. ā€œGood.ā€
Mirroring his wide smile, you place a kiss to his mouth. ā€œI have to finish cleaning the dishes.ā€ You pull away and pat his cheek. ā€œNext time you want a haircut, tell me.ā€
ā€œYes, maā€™am.ā€ He says, voice full of amusement before stepping back and making his way to the fridge. All anxieties he had about your disapproval, long since faded.
Tumblr media
likes, comments, and reblogā€™s are all appreciated. lmk if youā€™d like to be tagged in future lando posts.
į°.įŸ tags @halfwayhearted @lechrts @spidybaby @sakashq @joaoflms @h4vertzz
492 notes Ā· View notes
eddiesxangel Ā· 3 months ago
Note
idk if you've ever done this but dad bod, husband eddie with his pretty little wifey that makes him the best food and takes care of him very good by sucking his dick
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Ok now thatā€™s out of the way YES YES YES YESSSSSSSSSS
This totally got away from me and kinda morphed into more than duck sucking
ā€œBaby, youā€™re not going to find me attractive anymore if you keep feeding me like this,ā€ he half-heartedly jokes as you put the dinner plate in front of him and kiss his clean-shaven cheek.
You have always loved cooking for him; itā€™s one of your love languages.
Sure, he had a little pooch/beer belly, but his face also had filled out, and he looked much healthier than he did when he lived off slim Jimā€™s and canned pasta. Heā€™s so appreciative of your cooking, and itā€™s really goodā€”even the vegetables heā€™s learned to loveā€”the way you do your maple glazed carrots are his favourite.
ā€œNever baby, I love you too much. ā€ you smile and sit down.
After youā€™re done and the dishes are washed and put away, Eddie rests in the living room, watching something. You bring him a nice cold bottle of beer from the fridge (because you insisted to him it tasted better than canned beer, and he deserves the best).
ā€œThank you, baby, youā€™re so good to me. Donā€™t know what I did to deserve you.ā€ He smiled and pulled you in to sit on his lap. His thick thighs are the perfect seat for you, and his thick muscular arms wrap around your hip and rest his free and on your lap.
ā€œYou think so?ā€ You twirl Eddieā€™s wedding ring around his finger.
ā€œNever had someone take care of me so good babygirl.ā€ And heā€™s correct. His uncle tired his best but itā€™s not the same kind of love you provide for him.
You dote on him hand and foot, and heā€™s never asked you to. At first, he was uncomfortable with it because it was so foreign to him. He's never had someone care for him like this. He was highly independent before you. He never wanted help; he could do it himself. Even though heā€™s gotten used to your ways, heā€™s never not appreciative. He thanks you, praises you, and loves you so much that he thinks his heart will explode.
The two of you sit on his chair watching tv until you break the comfortable silence.
ā€œ I think you look so sexy.ā€ You say out of the blue. Remembering his remark from the dinner table. And itā€™s the truth, you love Eddie, and his new figure is making your head fuzzy. Heā€™s gotten bigger, not just his tummy, but his arms and legs have filled out bc of the lifting and bending he does at the construction sights. Itā€™s been gradual, but with the hardy meals and manual labour heā€™s filled out since your wedding day.
ā€œDo you now?ā€ He cocks his head curiously.
ā€œMhmmā€ you hum and lean in to kiss his neck.
ā€œI see what youā€™re up toā€ he chuckled and his belly moved a little.
ā€œI donā€™t know what youā€™re talking aboutā€ you smile into his neck before nipping it.
Your hand moves to palm his cock thatā€™s already semi hard and a soft moan leaves your husbandā€™s lips.
ā€œBabyā€ he whispered as you slink down off his lap onto your knees before him.
Your hands fiddle with his belt buckle on his jeans, you know heā€™s had a long strenuous day. Eddie looks down at you like you have him the world, you see the lust in his eyes along with the sparkle of love behind it.
You free his cock from the confines of his briefs you insisted on buying for him. Much sexier than the looses boxers he was use to, and he agreed they feel more comfortable.
You canā€™t help but stare at your husbands pelvis, his cock stood at attention and his chocolate pubic hair was flattered from the sweat- but you didnā€™t mind, it was so Eddie and his smell made your mouth water.
ā€œWanna make you feel good babyā€ you purr as you reach your hand to grip the tick shaft. Your hand envelops his shaft, pumping it a few times before you sit up higher on your knees to put his head in your mouth.
Eddie's hand strokes your head as you suck on the head like a lollipop. Somewhere along the way, Eddie rids himself of his shirt.
The view Eddie has of you is going to be engrained in his memory forever. Your beautiful eyes looking up as his as you kiss down the side of his shaft, worshiping him from your knees like he was your god.
ā€œSo fucking pretty, baby. Prettiest girl I know, and your all mine.ā€
His eyes glance to your left hand that'd pumping his cock, your simple but shiny wedding ring catching the light from the lamp on the coffee table.
You lean up to kiss him on the lips and he surprises you and he lifts you up by the armpits and plops you back down in his lap. Both legs on. Either side of Eddie waist, your dress splayed out around his lap and your wet core planted on his cock.
ā€œNo panties?ā€ he smiles at the realization. ā€œThis your plan all along?ā€
ā€œEasy accessā€ you slowly move your hips forward, running your wet pussy along Eddie's cock up to the end and your pussy meets the hairs of Eddie's happy trail.
Its feels so good for the both of you, you can't help but pull yourcloers to Eddie as you grind down on him.
ā€œCome on baby, slip it inā€ he kisses your neck and you obey as your husbandā€™s cock slips into your wanton pussy with ease.
ā€œThatā€™s it, you like being my good little wife?ā€ Eddie praises and you start to bounce on his cock.
Eddie pulls the front of your dress down, and your breasts spring free so they can bounce in front of his face. He loves you like this. he revels in it, itā€™s the sexiest thing he could be witness too.
ā€œAnswer me babyā€ he gives your ass a small slap.
ā€œYes, I love it, I love youā€
Eddie responds with guiding your head with his hand to his so he can kiss you. A filthy tongue filled kiss so good you forget to breathe. A kiss so good it tells you how much he loves you and adores you.
You donā€™t stop fucking yourself in his cock, you keep going no matter how much your thighs burn because heā€™s so deep you canā€™t stop even if you wanted. His cock fills you up so good each thrust youā€™re addicted to the feeling.
ā€œFuck baby you should see yourself. So fucking pretty riding my dick. Love watching you make my cock disappear. I can feel how deed I am inside you babygirl.ā€
ā€œBabyā€ you moan.
ā€œYesā€
ā€œMoreā€ you huff, becoming out of breath but youā€™re so close. You can feel your tummy tightening, you're on the brink.
ā€œMmmm youā€™ve been so good tonight, I think that can be arranged.ā€ Eddie plants his feet in the ground, holds you still and starts fucking up into you so fast all you can hear is the slapping of skin and his balls hitting your ass. Heā€™s so deep and youā€™re so full. The speed heā€™s hitting your g spot each time you canā€™t hold on.
It doesnā€™t take many thrusts before your cum is spilling out into Eddieā€™s cock.
ā€œGod, baby that wa a big one, huhā€ he slows down but the pressure behind each thrust was the same. His hips snapping up into your pussy, your hands rest on his belly, your fingers dipping into the skin, leaving little half moons from your nails as your orgasm still is running through you like an after shock.
ā€œNot done with you yet.ā€ You are still seeing stars but he gently places you down on the floor so you can rest and so he can look at your pretty face when he fills you with his cum.
ā€œBabyā€ you reach out to him, wanting him close, wanting him to kiss you and hold you, to be as close as possible.
ā€œI got you baby.ā€ He coos, sliding himself back in your warm wet pussy. Your hot cum coats his shaft, the smell of you making his head spin.
You cant help but feel needy for another orgasm as you watch Eddieā€™s large frame towering over you, protecting you, as he chases his own orgasm.
Your hands grip his ass, that too has filled out and you canā€™t help but want to bite as his hips fuck into you over and over. Your sweaty bodies are sticking together, moulding as one.
Eddie is close- and how could he not be when his woman is so perfect and he is so in love.
ā€œCome for me, baby.ā€ you whimper.
ā€œFuck, I'm close keep talking like thatā€ his head is rested in the crook of your neck, his hand is rubbing your clit, and you cum all over his co k once again.
ā€œNeed it baby, I need it so bad, come in me please, please. Fill me, I want it baby.ā€ You beg and before you know it Eddieā€™s cock is buried deep inside you and you know heā€™s releasing himself inside you.
A relieved sigh leaves your chest before a gleeful giggle.
ā€œFuck babyā€ his body collapses into of you and youā€™ve never felt so loved.
You wrap your limps around him like a koala, refusing to let him leave or slip out of you just yet.
ā€œYou think it will work this time?ā€ He asks breathlessly, looking down at you.
ā€œI hope so, but we will just keep on practicing until it doesā€ you wiggle your brows.
ā€œFuck I love youā€ Eddieā€™s smiles down at you, as you know you couldnā€™t have married anyone better.
658 notes Ā· View notes
r3starttt Ā· 22 days ago
Text
OUTLAW
Tumblr media
PAIRING: Sevika x reader
CW: request. use of strap. finger sucking. overstimulation. praise kink. boot riding yum yum. I think that's all
AN: I'm sorry if this is out of character in a cringey awful way. It's the first time I write for sev so I tried not to put much doalogue so it wouldn't be cringey but idk idk hope the smut helps a little. Feedback is appreciated chat, but if I did good maybe I can keep writing for her.
TAGLIST: @Kaimythically @lewd-alien @greysontheidiot @jolyne @sapphic-ovaries @tlouloser @prwttiestbunny @visobsession @kiki5gigi @thesevi0lentdelights @lvlymicha @stickycherritart @rob1nbuckl3ys @femininologies @dinakisser @viajeros--sin--destino @GodessAgrona @patronagrona @halle5s @abvisionss
Tumblr media
Outlaw sevika who's got you fully naked, rubbing your wet pussy on her boot while she taps a quiet rhtym on the armrest of her old worn couch. There's barely a few hues of golden light coming through the window, just enough to illuminate the shapes of your body and the details of your skin. How you're drooling by her metallic fingers playing with the edge of your lips.
You open your mouth wider for her, sliding your tongue out to savour the savour of it, give her what she wants, how she wants it.
The grinding of your pussy grows louder, more deliciously humiliating. She plays with you too, enjoying how your eyebrows curve each time she moves her foot along you or how you moan into her fingers whenever she taps a gentle rhythm with her boots.
She's got that smirk on her face, eyebrows raised with how much of a slut her pretty girl is for her. She's proud of the mess she's made out of you.
You feel your clit thrombin at the friction- it's not enough. And so, your pupils search of her, staring through your lashes in a silent plead as you give her the show. Humping on her boot while holding onto her leg, resting your chin on her knee before begging like she's taught you.
"Please?... need you inside me." You've learned to use your words, haven't you?
She holds onto your chin, the sound of the metal and it's coldness sending a shiver to your whole body, enlightening the pleasure on your hole as you manage to keep a gentle wet pace grinding your pussy on her boot.
Her elbows come to rest on her thighs, staring at you with a slight frown. Her plump chapped lips opening slightly as she felt her own pussy wet at such sight. "Good girl." She leaned back onto the seat, widening her legs for you to unzip her pants, undo her belt and take the strap out.
"You know what to do... go on." And so, you lean your face closed to it, playing with the tip of your tongue before deepening the length into your already wet mouth. Your eyes never leaving hers until she's got a proper grip onto your scalp, guiding you and bobbing your head deeper until she hears you gag or feels the aching of your nails digging on her clothed thighs.
She swears she can feel it, just as much as she can feel your hair around the cold of her fake fingers. Yet, as much as she's as desperate as you are to fuck you, she waits until there's drool pooling down her cock. She's rough with it, pulling your head back in a silent request for you to stand up and sink into her. And you obbey, like you do.
The back of your hand comes to clean at your messy wet chin, widening your arousal slicked thighs. A sigh brushing your lips as you feel how undeniably soaked you are, looking away as you make your way to straddle her lap.
Her hands come to grasp at your hips, guiding you on top of her with hunger. She eyes you up and down, not thinking twice before slapping at your breasts and leaving small kisses around your hardened buds. She wants to touch, but the temptation of sensing your pussy is bigger.
With her bottom lip fully disappeared between her teeth, Sevikaā€™s thumb barely hovers over your swollen clit, the rough pad of her thumb making gentle circles; the rest of her fingers teasing at your glistening folds, threatening to get inside you.
Sevika grins-she laughs and mocks you. "Good?" She feels the way you twitch, how you want to swallow her fingers and fuck yourself with them. She can't handle this anymore, not like she would've wished.
She collects your slick, scissoring your folds before draggint them to your mouth. And you suck, whining at how her cock hovers at your entrance, repeating the same moves her fingers just did before thrusting inside you.
She chuckles, knowing your walls must be clench around her, and she starts guiding your hips in and out- ridiculously slow.Ā 
Your arousal coating her cock makes the most obscene sounds. Wet and whining filling the silence. She leans over you as she slams your fat thighs onto her strap. Her fingers digging into your skin. "Such a fucking good girl for me."
465 notes Ā· View notes
luvvyouforever Ā· 9 months ago
Text
harvey (sdv) - nsfw alphabet <3
Tumblr media
-> there is not nearly enough harvey content on tumblr for my liking. SO two harvey posts in a row, yes i do believe. and i do love reading an sfw/nsfw alphabet so of course i have to provide for our favorite nerdy doctor <3 i also want you to know that as i write this, i imagine harvey as a taller, bigger man. so like he's got some chub on him and he's got broad shoulders. idk idk it's my headcanon.
-> this is nsfw and dirty! like i really tried to get over my reservations about using descriptive language. with that being said, NSFW 18+ MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tumblr media
a = aftercareĀ (what theyā€™re like after sex)
harvey is the sweetest, most gentlemanly partner after sex. he makes sure that you get cleaned up, that you protect yourself against any UTIs or other gross things, makes you some coffee or tea, and cuddles with you endlessly. harvey would need some extra reassurance that what he did was good, that you enjoyed it, or that you didn't get hurt. he'd get anxious and worry about it for the rest of the night if you didn't offer him some kind of honest discussion.
b = body partĀ (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partnerā€™s)
i think he appreciates his arms and hands! he knows that he has some strength and likes when you can grip on to his biceps in the heat of the moment. knows how to work his hands i mean, come on. he can do minor surgical interventions. if you hold onto his arm while you're walking in town, he'd get all blushy.
as for you, he truthfully loves every part of you. if you ever asked him "what part of me is your favorite?" he would actually stress over it and couldn't answer. however, if you really really wanted him to say, he would choose your eyes. there's nothing better to him than looking at them when he's giving you pleasure. sends him reeling, actually.
c = cumĀ (anything to do with cum, basically)
i don't think harvey is particularly keen on making a mess, especially of the bed or another surface. he'd try to keep his cum inside of you, or at least contained to an easily wipeable surface (like your face). on the down low though, i truthfully think he'd surprisingly enjoy cumming on your face, mainly around your lips. messy oral? he's done for.
d = dirty secretĀ (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
meeting dr. harvey in his office for a confidential check-up? hmm. definitely not when you first start dating, but give him some time and you may just find yourself on his desk (never in the actual, sterile field) receiving a little extra attention wink wink nudge nudge
e = experienceĀ (how experienced are they? do they know what theyā€™re doing?)
he has plenty of knowledge about anatomy, trust me. he never struggles with finding your best spots. however, he struggles with foreplay and building intimacy and dirty talk, etc. he's a nerd! what can i say? tell him what you like, guide him, and help him and he'd be confident in no time. he's a quick learner.
f = favorite positionĀ (this goes without saying)
so, i think there are two sides to harvey. he is either incredible slow, passionate, and earnest. this lends itself to something simple like missionary where he can stare into your eyes, kiss you, tell you sweet things, etc. his other side comes out later, when he's gotten more comfortable with you and with himself, and he can get a little rougher or faster or intense. he likes to be able to grip on to you so something like doggy, maybe riding?
g = goofyĀ (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
harvey can't help but be clumsy sometimes. he learns to be able to giggle at himself when his hand misses the bed and he falls. he also can't help but giggle when hair gets caught in your mouth or some other silly thing. however, he likes to keep things intimate and prefers to have a serious moment with you in bed.
h = hairĀ (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
i don't think he fully shaves, he just doesn't strike me as that kinda guy with his mustache. but i do think he trims it, kinda manscapes it a little bit to tame everything down but he likes to have a little hair down there.
i = intimacyĀ (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
loves making sex romantic. he doesn't do it often, but on special days like your anniversary or birthday, he will harvest some flowers from the farm and throw the petals around the room, open up some freshly made wine, and showers you in affection. as for every day sex, he still likes to make it special for you and never backs down on his pure, teeth-hurting sweetness.
j = jack offĀ (masturbation headcanon)
i think that he is the kinda guy that starts feeling guilty for masturbating after he gets into a relationship. prefers to just wait for you. however, before your relationship, he would masturbate every once in a while when he was stressed or horny. if he ever watched porn, which i feel like would be very rare for him, he wouldn't watch highly produced, fake porn. it would have to be something amateur. (harvey has a secret twitter account)
K = KinkĀ (one or more of their kinks)
okay so...i think harvey starts out vanilla. when you're getting to know him and for the first few times you have sex, he keeps it simple. mainly out of nervousness. however, i think he's kinkier than we might assume. i think he really enjoys being praised and praising you. i think, too, he likes feeling big and strong in that he gives in to his possessiveness sometimes, and he likes being able to manhandle you a little bit. also, i propose this everyone....bondage? nothing super strong! just with his tie or belt. and your hands. to the headboard.
l = locationĀ (favorite places to do the do)
your bedroom, mostly! he has a reputation that he needs to uphold so anything in public is nerve wracking. but with some convincing, like i said, his fancy office is not totally off limits.
m = motivationĀ (what turns them on, gets them going)
seeing you do anything! especially if you're really determined to get something done and you're working hard at it! like, you've been working so damn hard on renovating and cleaning the farm and you come back proud of everything you've done, he will look at you with a glow in his face. kisses on the neck, too!
n = noĀ (something they wouldnā€™t do, turn offs)
i don't think he'd ever hurt you. it's just not something he could ever see himself doing. he doesn't mind seeing like fingertip marks on you the day after but anything like choking, spanking, etc is out of the question. he also would find rudeness a turn off in a person. like he would hate to see anyone be rude to another person and it would take away from someone's attractiveness immediately! (that's not to say that he doesn't enjoy some town gossip here and there)
o = oralĀ (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
my first headcanon here is that harvey LOVES giving oral and on the days when he hasn't cleanly shaved his face, his stubble leaves marks around your thighs. okay, now that that's out of the way: harvey is such a pleaser and he'd do anything to make sure you feel good. he likes when you guide his head, mouth, or hands and he likes being told if you want more, or faster, or less. as for him receiving, i think he enjoys it but he gets so in his head that he can't really cum from it. it takes some extra praise and reassurance to get him to fully open up.
p = paceĀ (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
like every other answer here, it depends on his mood! he can get really fast when he's feeling extra needy or kinky. however, when he's trying to be romantic, he will take his sweet time and go nice and slow with his thrusts, movements, touches. however, i think he could also use slowness to his advantage and tease you.
q = quickieĀ (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
prefers to take his time but sometimes he likes to catch you before you wake up and start working on the farm and before he has to go to work. he enjoys these more than he will admit to himself though and he thinks it can be fun!!
r = riskĀ (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
he's down to try new things, don't get me wrong! if you wanna try something new, he'll let you to an extent but he won't do anything that comes with a dangerous outcome or health risk! like, sure, he might be down to try some new rope positions but he won't dare put chocolate sauce around his genitals. do you know the bacteria risks that can come with that??
s = staminaĀ (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
i don't think he has very high stamina. it's not that he gets really sleepy after, but he can't go for multiple rounds. maybe two if it's been a long time since he's seen you. he can last a while though, i think. he won't cum the minute he engages in anything and with his anxiety, it may even take him a while to get to that point.
t = toysĀ (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
he doesn't mind bringing out a vibrator because he knows how good it could make you feel. he doesn't like them on himself though! he doesn't mind taking a trip out to zuzu and hitting up a sex shop to buy some new bondage-y toys. they will be thoroughly cleaned though. why would nipple clamps be any less clean than forceps?
u = unfairĀ (how much they like to tease)
he doesn't do it with malice in his heart, trust me. he just likes seeing you on edge, waiting for him of all people, begging for more pleasure. he experiments to see how long you can go for, or how far he can drag out oral. he definitely enjoys it more than he'd let on. oh, and, i leave you with this, imagine harvey offering fake pity and cooing at you:
"my poor flower...you must want it so bad!"
v = volumeĀ (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
keeps quiet, mostly. some interjections of grunts and groans, especially when he cums. he uses his voice more for sweet talk! he loves hearing your noises, though, and it gives him more encouragement than anything.
w = wild cardĀ (a random headcanon for the character)
the first time you called him dr. harvey in a joking, yet somewhat flirtatious manner, he blushed and got incredibly flustered. then, you did it again, and it had the same effect. and then...oh lord. your hands were roaming his body and you, just testing the waters, called him dr. harvey and he could have finished right there.
x = x-rayĀ (letā€™s see whatā€™s going on under those clothes)
he's big guys, i'm sorry. nerdy white men are always packing. i headcanon him as a big boy and it's only fitting that he's proportionate. more thickness than length. he was a little ashamed the first time you had sex but he realized just how good it feels and it makes him proud. big dick energy if you will.
y = yearningĀ (how high is their sex drive?)
i think he has a fluctuating sex drive. during flu and cold season, he is so stressed and likes to come back and make dinner, cuddle, and go to bed. however, during the summer, when everyone is healthy and only needs some aloe vera gel for sunburns, he could go day after day with you. it just all depends on his mood and the time of the year.
z = zzzĀ (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
he enjoys cuddling and talking after sex but give him an hour and the man is CONKED. he's the older bachelor so of course he's a sleepy man. cuddle up to his chest, open up the window to let fresh air or the sounds of rain float in, and he'll be like a baby.
1K notes Ā· View notes
astonmartinii Ā· 1 year ago
Text
mamma mia | formula one social media au
drivers: sebastian vettel, jenson button and fernando alonso
what the hell is in the water in greece? why are pregnancy tests so expensive and why does seb name his vehicles like that?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
fernandoalo_oficial
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by maxverstappen1, aussiegrit and 803,450 others
location: greece
fernandoalo_oficial: had a great break in greece recharging the old batteries šŸ”‹
view all comments
user1: old man who is this woman?
landonorris: who taught you to soft launch grandpa?
fernandoalo_oficial: hey! respect your elders
landonorris: you just called yourself old? and WHO IS THIS?
fernandoalo_oficial: none of your damn business kid
user2: why is he particularly dilfy lately?
user3: he's approaching silver fox territory i fear
jensonbutton: i see that greece was a popular spot for wold champions this break?
fernandoalo_oficial: i also saw, sad not to bump into you old friend :(
maxverstappen1: where was my invite ???
jensonbutton: cool world champions only
lewishamilton: excuse me?
fernandoalo_oficial: idk what to tell you it wasn't planned, me, jenson and sebastian just have good taste
sebastianvettel: i see mary goodnight was appreciated
fernandoalo_oficial: yes thank you for lending me your boat, huge hit with the ladies
sebastianvettel: very happy with my choice to get it deep cleaned before i got there
fernandoalo_oficial: first of all, i'm not dirty. second of all, thanks for the faith in my game big man
user4: i am so confused by this comment section I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW ALONSO FUCKED ON SEB'S BOAT ???
Tumblr media
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by yourbff, oliviarodrigo and 1,340.987 others
tagged: yourbff
yourusername: (sober) brunch with a side of light baby daddy investigation
view all comments
user7: only y/n would end up in a mamma mia situation, stay strong
yourusername: omg i didn't even realise, but donna was always a bad bitch, so i will just be the same
user8: i can't believe i am watching a girl investigate her own baby daddies on the internet (i love this place)
yourbff: if we can't find the lucky men, at least they'll have a cool ass aunt
yourusername: all fun and games until you have to change a nappy
user9: i'm enjoying this saga, BUT, why can't we just wait and do a paternity test
yourusernmae: i still need to know them to do that... and being nosey is far more fun
user10: all i'm thinking is this girl has to have GAME for three dilfs in the span of like three days... RESPECT šŸ«”
user11: i am so invested in this... please be interesting people šŸ¤ž
jensonbutton
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by sebastianvettel, fernandoalo_oficial and 401,330 others
jensonbutton: back on sky duty and bumped into a couple of familiar faces
view all comments
user12: who let these old men talk about their sex lives on a live broadcast?
user13: i am entertained tbf
user14: obsessed with both needing to reinforce the fact that they pulled in greece
user15: i need seb to jump in on this conversation ASAP
fernandoalo_oficial: not happy with you pinning all of my success on seb's boat mate
jensonbutton: was it all your charming personality?
fernandoalo_oficial: obviously
sebastianvettel: i can confirm that it's always all the boat
jensonbutton: is that a confession?
sebastianvettel: gentleman don't kiss and tell x
charles_leclerc: jesus christ and we're the generation ruining the sport?
jensonbutton: f1 has always been slutty, you guys are letting us down
maxverstappen1: clearly you guys are still active enough to keep up the reputation yourselves
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
sebastianvettel
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by charles_leclerc, jensonbutton and 902,180 others
sebastianvettel: retirement is looking fun, glad to take mary goodnight out for her first spin
view all comments
user21: did he just say mary goodnight? SEB WHAT?
user22: omfg he is potential baby daddy two??
charles_leclerc: so seb got a bit too lucky in greece?
user23: CHARLES?
user24: i am losing my mind they were right, they are the baby daddies
user25: i knew as soon as she said a nando with a samurai tattoo
user26: @yourusername he's number two !!!!!
user27: @yourusername we found him, boat and all
landonorris: YOU'RE POTENTIAL BABY DADDY TWO SEB WHAT THE FUCK
sebastianvettel: i don't understand lando
landonorris: check your texts
user28: don't forget the others lando
landonorris: @fernandoalo_oficial check your texts (and forward it to jenson i don't have his number)
fernandoalo_oficial: okay?
yourusername: WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
user29: i think someone needs to check on her
Tumblr media
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by sebastianvettel, fernandoalo_oficial and 1,509,600 others
yourusername: i hot girl summer-ed a bit too close to the sun, what do you mean the three dilfs were f1 world champions?
comments are turned off on this post
sebastianvettel followed yourusername
fernandoalo_oficial followed yourusername
jensonbutton followed yourusername
note: AHHHHHH? idk if i love it or hate it? do i know who i plan on being the dad? no. but do i plan on expanding on this? yes. mamma mia chaos will return.
5K notes Ā· View notes
bomber-grl Ā· 9 months ago
Text
Cuddle/Sleep Headcanons šŸ’¤šŸŒ™
Pairing(s): characters x Gn!reader
Character(s): Percy, Jason, Leo, Frank, Hazel, Annabeth, Piper, Calypso, Ethan, Nico, Octavian, Reyna
Tumblr media
Percy Jackson
Heā€™s a horrible sleeper
I mean sure, you can sleep and cuddle like the couple you are
However, that doesnā€™t stop him from sleeping wildly
Limbs sprawled all over the freaking place and the only reason you know is because of the concerning amount of times youā€™ve woken up under some of them
To make it worse?
Heā€™s a blanket hogger
He doesnā€™t rlly hog it in the sense that he steals it all
I mean he does, but he sorta just slides off the bed and takes the rest of the blanket with him
The urge to just šŸ”«
But yea šŸ˜ž
Nice to cuddle with but not to sleep with sorry not sorry
6/10
Jason Grace
Kinda stiff ngl
Like damn bitch, you live like this?
Plus he sleeps on his back face up šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
Like wtf Jason
Are u ok?
In terms of actually cuddling, heā€™s pretty good
His arms are firm and his hugs are tight yet comforting
Plus he smells pretty good
Like no joke
Iā€™d kinda see you sleeping on his chest since bro sleeps on his back
Itā€™s nice but the stiffness is not appreciated šŸ™…
Atleast heā€™s not a blanket hogger and heā€™s quite considerate with the blankets and stuff
So
8/10
Leo Valdez
He sleeps two different ways
The first way is pretty compacted
What I mean is, he sleeps he sleeps bundled up by the blanket in a blanket burrito
The other one is where he sleeps sprawled out, limbs all over the place, blanket discarded
Just like Percy
So when heā€™s in a blanket burrito best believe heā€™s taking you with him
He usually does this during winter because he naturally runs hot
Anyway, he pulls you in and kinda bundled the blanket around you two for you guys to cuddle and be as close as possible
But when heā€™s sprawled out with his limbs everywhere he likes to cuddle with you on top of him
That or youā€™re abused and crushed by him in your sleep
Plus yknow how he runs hot? Well itā€™s absolute hell
Itā€™s so hot and honestly suffocating when heā€™s sleeping on you šŸ’€
Throw him on the ground pls
Ima rate him a 7/10 cuz he ainā€™t bad and if anything I love him so šŸ¤·
Frank Zhang
Heā€™s the best
Sortaā€¦
Heā€™s obviously huge so
He fully embraces you and hugs you so itā€™s pretty comfortable
And he sleeps on his side or stomach so thereā€™s plenty of room
Even if heā€™s a bit stiff heā€™s still pretty nice to cuddle with
Heā€™s pretty considerate on how you like to sleep/cuddle
He likes holding you so heā€™s not that picky
Honestly nothing to complain about with him
Except for one thingā€¦
You canā€™t tell me this guy doesnā€™t fart šŸ˜
Iā€™m sorry but he just gives me those vibes
And itā€™s so bad
And not even on purpose either
It just happens but itā€™s the most traumatic thing ever
He feels pretty bad too šŸ˜­
Also when yā€™all are sleeping you just end up on different sides of the bed
Heā€™s just casually on top of the blanket and you canā€™t even pull it from under him
Youā€™re left shivering in the cold
Hazel Levesque
I love her šŸ«¶
I see her sleeping on her sides and stomach tbh
Sheā€™s so sweet too
She loves to cuddle with you and even tho she doesnā€™t rlly have a firm grip she still likes to hold you
She especially likes to sleep on you
Either on your chest or just cuddled up to you
And she smells pretty sweet
Like clean laundry too like lawd
But ofc thereā€™s gotta be some downsides
Thereā€™s isnā€™t really none with her, but with you
You end up stealing the blankets and hazel wakes up mad and cranky
Thatā€™s all and she quickly forgives you
Annabeth Chase
Sleeps on her back or side
She doesnā€™t really like cuddling all that much
She prefers to have some space and stuff when she sleeps
But if you want, sheā€™s open to cuddling
She loves to both be held and to hold you
Mostly itā€™s mutual holding
Plus she probably sleeps with the fan on
Idk how to explain it
If youā€™re the type to always talk during night time then sheā€™d react differently
Like if you gotta sleep asap cuz of the mission and all you do is yap
Then sheā€™s turning her back on you and ignoring
What a meanie
At least she apologizes the next day but still
I donā€™t rlly see her stealing the blanket or anything but she is pretty stiff
Like besides hugging and stuff she lowkey just lets you hug her when she doesnā€™t feel like moving
Mood
Also since she smells good ofc ur gon sniff and sheā€™ll be weirded out and ignore u this way too šŸ˜ž
Piper McLean
She sleeps anyway tbh
She pretty cuddly and likes to snuggle w you
She usually likes to be held, but either way is fine
Especially after a fight or exhausting time with monsters
Sheā€™ll hold you in her arms too
She smells pretty nice and if you say so?
Well she finds it endearing
Unlike a certain someone
*cough cough* annabeth
But yea sheā€™s the best
But she wonā€™t hesitate to kick you out if you refuse to share the blanket
She gets enough crap from Leo
Who is just constantly annoying her
Calypso
The best
Like she fr loves to cuddle
With everything sheā€™s been through best believe sheā€™s the best cuddler
Honestly she sleeps whatever way
Sheā€™s another who loves to be held and to hold others
Especially if youā€™re hurt or anything
Then sheā€™s try and tend to you
Even in sleep
Most times sheā€™s a small spoon
Sheā€™s loved so many people who never loved her back
So perhaps sheā€™s just a tad bit touch starved
And would obviously give in to any affection
As previously mentioned she loves to hold you too
Mostly just having you lean on her shoulder or lay on her lap but it also extends to cuddling on occasion
Sheā€™ll have you lay on her chest and in her arms and play with your hair
Ethan Nakamura
Heā€™s so stiff itā€™s painful
(Not actually)
Heā€™s definitely loyal, the books show that much
So despite his personal feelings with touch (heā€™s no doubt another touch starved person) heā€™d like to cuddle with you nonetheless
Not much in the beginning but heā€™d definitely warm up to you
And in the process, realize how much he wants it
Heā€™ll let you love him however you want (cuddle him) and let you play with his hair
Which he loves
Eventually he gets enough courage to reciprocate
But heā€™s still stiff
Not the best when hugging or cuddling you because of how flustered he gets
Once you two go to bed and he falls asleep, he gets pretty subconsciously protective so heā€™ll hold you tight
Nico Di Angelo
Yes
Just yes
He loves to cuddle never made it obvious before tho
Another who was pretty stiff and touch starved
He gets over it quickly when he sees what you have to offer
I mean usually he just sleeps bundled up under the blankets, engulfed by their warmth
But with you there he just pulls you under the blankets with him so you can cuddle that way
Is mostly just mutual holding
He mostly just liked to intertwine your legs or hold onto you like a koala
I see him as a blanket stealer when youā€™re not glued together
Heā€™s either super sleepy or not at all
When heā€™s tired he just drags you to bed, since thatā€™s the only time nightmares donā€™t plague him
But when hes suffering from his insomnia he likes it when you stay up and talk with him
Idk to him it feels intimate but if you choose to go to bed, he wonā€™t take it personally
If you play with his hair he wonā€™t admit it but he loves it
Octavian
Ew.
Sorry I hate him but seeing that youā€™re here, you probs love him
So letā€™s get this over w
Heā€™s rlly long and lanky and boney
Doesnā€™t stop yall from cuddling tho ig
And like a weirdo he sleeps on his back, arms to his side, head facing upward
Honestly probably obsessed with you
Only way heā€™d cuddle/ be in a relationship with you
Heā€™s probably never been touched by another person
So he definitely likes to be held
Plus the bastard is selfish
And he doesnā€™t hold you
šŸ˜ā€¦
Yea so 1/10
Iā€™m being generous
Reyna Ramirez-Arellano
I love her šŸ˜­šŸ«¶šŸ«¶
Yea she probs love you so ofc sheā€™s gonna cuddle w u
Often times sheā€™s busy with the duties of praetor so she canā€™t cuddle šŸ˜ž
But itā€™s ok cuz when she can itā€™s the best
Not only is she holding you and making you feel cared after
But she also plays with your hair
Also you have to hold her
I donā€™t make the rules, just look at her, she needs it
When you do sheā€™s a bit put off
But eventually she lets you coddle her
So more often than not sheā€™s little spoon and comfortable
Just like she deserves
Yes beautiful
9/10
ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”-
Note: I just realized Reyna is a hunter now idk why I even wrote hers šŸ˜­ maybe pre-hunter Reyna??? Idk man
1K notes Ā· View notes