#IT'S SAD THIS WOULD BE SUCH!!! AN EP TO WATCH IN THE THEATERS WITH EVERYONE LAUGHING

[yashley]

fearne: it's been a long time since you've felt a woman's touch

ashley, quietly: where am I going with this stuff..

[rottenbrainstuff]

IWTV s2 ep 3 - Armand is a fucking little gremlin

Interesting ep! I mean man they all are. This show is amazing. I love the actors, I (mostly) love the updates to the story, just, such care and attention to every facet from everyone involved. Beautiful.

I always get a bit eye-rolly when you have (or see a stupid instragram video of) a white character eating expensive fresh sushi where the fish is presented whole and still having nerve twitches after death, and they freak out about it and can't eat it. I get that it's a bit weird and if it was me sure I would have to wait until it stopped wiggling to start eating, but like, where did you think the fish came from, did we pick it off a bush? Anyways, here I can almost, almost forgive the very tired trope, because you could say perhaps it is a contrast between Daniel, and the vampires and their predatory feeding habits, maybe.

I knew we were getting some flashbacks of Armand's old coven and Nicholas and Lestat, but I was surprised by how short it all actually was. I do hope that when we get to season three we're going to have some proper time spent on all of this. Armand's dirty old satanist coven was so interesting to me.

I actually had to pause the show to get mad for a little bit when I saw Louis say that Lestat abandoned Nicki and abandoned the Paris coven, because everything Lestat does is just for himself. Abandoned! Oh my god Louis, what did Armand tell you? Abandoned! Lies! Armand, you gremlin! Right, sure, the guy who was screaming with his face all red when Armand took Nicholas away is going to just teehee oops leave him behind there for absolutely no reason, no reason whatsoever, yes for sure, nothing more to say there. I also don't trust that the theater scene played out exactly as Armand said, with Lestat quite callously fucking him while Nicholas watched, no, I don't buy that. Everything Armand says is suspect to me.

It's so sad that Claudia reinforces this idea later as well, complaining that Lestat never told them there was this cool fun amazing coven troupe in Paris, he only ever warned them away and told them other vampires were vicious.

(Bruce is sure shit, isn't he. I kinda wanna see him show up again at some point. Maybe he can be one of the vampires at Lestat's big concert? I feel like he must be friends with my V:tM character's shit sire, haha, since they seem to both be reading from the same scuzzy man playbook. On another V:tM tangent (sorry) I know Lestat is the quintessential toreador, but Armand with his creepy tricks, his ability to not be recorded, his religious cosplay, and (in the book) his coven's old tradition of burying new fledglings and making them dig themselves up through their own graves as a test, he gives me lasombra vibes)

This show is so confusing to me and I love it. Every character is so bad and good, good and bad, sad and mean, mean and sad. Everyone is behaving horribly, but I also feel bad for everyone. Lestat is a dickhead but it's so tragic to me how everyone always assumes the worst of him all the time when he really was honestly just trying to protect the people he loved. Armand is a nasty manipulative gremlin, but I feel terrible for him as well, how his face falls every time the situation turns sexual. God, him and Louis were so awkward in the park, like two teenagers who don't really know what to do, or, like two very sad adult men both half-heartedly playing out a role that neither one really fully wants to play. Man, now I desperately wanna see him and Eric get it on not for the old man yaoi, but just to fucking see Armand actually genuinely want something for once.

Jacob is doing such a great fucking job. Poor old Louis.

For some reason I can't stop thinking about Sam (? that was Sam right?) showing Claudia how the rat box works, as if it's her first day at Vampire McDonalds and he's showing her the deep fryer. Santiago is also an amazing character, they're all amazing characters, I love this show so much. Poor Claudia. She is so happy to be included in this group, so happy that she completely and totally ignores the red flags that are waving in her face. Claudia gets her rage and her cruelty from Lestat, but I guess she gets her desperate desire to see good in people even when they mean her harm from Louis.

But, the end sequence is just a bit strange to me. The tension of oh, is Armand going to hurt Louis??? is very strange and doesn't work for me. We know he's not going to, Louis is here in the present day. For me it takes the tension out of the scene. I mean, beautiful acting on Jacob's part, the fact that what he thinks will be his last words are all just his wishes and concerns for Claudia to be happy was just. Ugh! Ugh! But, it just didn't work for me. And anyways, who is narrating this whole bit? This scene shows the coven threatening Armand to do something about Louis, and I don't buy for a single second that that's the actual dynamic here, that Armand is just this poor helpless guy who is forced to do what his coven wants him to, no, not a chance. So I want to know who is narrating this. But... in this scene, Armand and Louis are not in the room. They've both left to speak to the buyer's lawyer, Daniel is by himself checking out the talamasca files on his laptop, yet the narrative continues somehow. That's the first time I've noticed that happen, and I found it very strange. I don't know if this was done on purpose and you're supposed to notice how strange that is, or if it was a mistake. Was it supposed to be info from the talamasca files? I didn't get that impression.

But anyways, generally amazing, as always. I do hope the show includes Gabrielle in the future, and I hope we see more detailed flashbacks of all of them in Paris, and what exactly happened to poor Nicholas. Every actor here is doing amazing.

[whatbigteeth]

the horror episode of um actually was fumbled SO hard and it makes me so mad. 2 of the contestants had only seen one horror movie ever and it was the one they acted in together. one of them made a joke along the lines of "why would anyone want to watch this stuff" when talking about the plot of friday the 13th. why is the love letter to nerd culture show shitting on nerd culture!!! genuinely what was that

all of the other themed episodes have been type casted and full of superfan contestants and really, infectiously funny. i don't know anything about wrestling or reality tv or musical theater but those eps were still a blast because everyone in them was having a blast! fighting over answering and building off of each other the entire time. and it makes me sad that the horror one seemingly had so much less care put into it. i have no problem with milana and harvey but why THAT episode. holy shit why that episode.

[rrxnjun]

if i could i would fight the school system just so u would have the time and mood to write >:T but i'm glad u could write a bit and waiting for ur next fic!!!🥳🥳 (your post about a fic u are writing seems pretty fun :o and love jihoon as a side character!!!) AAA IM HAPPY TO HEAR THAT I WOULD LOVE TO READ TREASURE FICS FROM U ESPECIALLY THE JIHOON ONES HIHI!!! I AM VERY GRATEFUL FOR UR FRIEND WHO CONVINCED U!!!!

hmmmm idk if its reveal vibe or not but my fav ep from them is the thrill ride ep (probably has a special place in my heart cuz that was my first cb with them lmao but that era was so well done and i really love the songs!!) i think their new ep is really great my favs are especially awake and savior aaanndd their breaking dawn album slaps as a whole i love it so muchhh and for my last recommendation from them would be survive the night which is a song that was fully written by sunwoo and it's definitely one of my favs (there is also a song from giuk featuring sunwoo that just dropped and u might like it if u are interested) and i really hope u will like some cuz idk if any of these would be the type of songs u would listen to;-; the last longer content i watched from them was come on the boyz but eric isn't in it cuz he was on a hiatus at the time:( but it's really fun! i also started to watch back the boyz timeout (and had to stop cuz school >:T) and that is also really good and everyone is there:D so i would recommend those if u want like a series (?) type of thing with them but for "shorter" contents their mafia games are very fun to watch!!! their idol human theater videos are great as well!!! and the last one i would say is they just made a video with the fo squad and that seemed very funny although i didn't have the time to watch it yet;-; (IM VERY SORRY ABOUT JUST RECOMMENDING SO MANY THINGS AND FOR THIS LONG ASS LIST I WENT A BIT OVERBOARD D: )

KEVIN IS SUCH A LOVELY GUY his bubble messages are usually either very funny or just very meaningful and his posts are always top tier🤌 i think he would just solidify his place in ur heart lmao and eric is just such a bestie material!!! well u know i just came in here in the middle of ur treasure era being like 🧍the boyz🧍and i don't want to interrupt u with just randomly talking about them 🧍(which i deff did so im sorry and sorry again for the long ass list of recs)

ooo god gifted kid burnouts suck so much;-; but tbh yeah the grade doesn't really matter just pass and get the paper in the end cuz that's the most important ig and u would get it with even just passing (although im just🤡 cuz i will never think like this sadly so) i don't think my experience will be different ngl;-; so im trying to get myself ready to just not be sad about it cuz it's bound to happen lmao

AHH UR REPLIES JUST MAKE ME SO HAPPY LIKE U READ MY LONG ASS RAMBLINGS AND U ARE ALWAYS SO LOVELY SO I JUST🥹��� I APPRECIATE U VERY MUCH!!!!!! (liebestraum anon💗💕💕 sorry for disappearing again☹️)

SJSJSJ its okay because the motivation is that once its over i have the whole summer to write is making me go through this more easily 😙😌 also im handling things a lot better than last semester LMAO so im good over here 🤞 DJSJ glad u liked the posts abt the fic so far, jihoon is kind of the main character unfortunatelt (he is in the fic more than mark i-) but the brainrot cant be helped. IM GRATEFUL FOR MY FRIEND TOO she's a real one 😙 i'll let u know abt the blog if i manage to set one up after all hihi

first comebacks with a group are always the most special istg i thought about this the other day. like for me rock with you, hot sauce and can't you see me? are really special too😭 i havent had time to listen to these but i promise that by the time we talk again i will and i'll have my reviews ready!! 😌😌 also i love how u can kinda get my music taste w western artists (like when u recommended me hungarian songs and were spot on) but w kpop u rlly cant tell😭😭😭 i love me some kpop group variety shows tbh so i will definitely watch all of these later !! DONT BE SORRY ABT RECOMMENDING SO MUCH I GET U IF I WAS ASKED FOR RECS FOR ANY OF MY FAV GROUPS I WOULDVE DONE THE SAME THING. i saw kevin's weverse (?) replies on tiktok today and i- 😭 my man is a comedian i love him. the same w eric. icons. SJSJS dont worry about interrupting my treasure era i can handle it (im also suddenly into cix as well so i can handle everyone atp)

and u get it u get it !!! like it does feel good to get academic validation from time to time (i got a 45/50 on my essay today❤❤❤) but as long as its not an F i do not feel disappointed. esp when i get reminded of the fact that im studying on one of the best unis in my country and that my major is actually kind of hard 💀💀 get ready for the terrors of university i mean u can expect it but actually experiencing it will be just as shitty so i just pray u dont take it as badly as i did for a lil while🤞 im here for u if that happens tho!!

always appreciating u and smiling at your asks, mwah mwah ‼

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

March 2021 Part 4

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. 

This is a LONG ONE, it’s been A WEEK everyone. 

Ongoing Series - Thai

Lovely Writer Ep 5 - a little slow this week, but at least Gene finally flirted back, and very cute flirting it was, too. Also we got Aey’s motivation, background, and love interest. Thank goodness for that. 

Brothers Ep 8 - still pants, what can I say? Clearly I am a BL masochist. Very embarrassing for everyone concerned. 

1000 Stars Ep 9 - the conflict over Tian’s father was REALLY well done. The plot of this drama is excellent, the leads are great together, and yes I totally cried. What, you didn’t? 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Word of Honor (China) Ep 16-18 - big battle fighty fighty stabby stabby. Ep 17 switches to “this drama isn’t big enough for two chaotic-neutral godlings!” So what do they do? Drink together and bicker... A LOT. Then in Ep 18 we all get the dubious joy of really freaky puppets. (I HATE puppets.) Also how is China letting this be so SO VERY VERY GAY?  Also, I wanna walk through the forest wearing a smanshy purple robe and waving a big fuck-off white fan around simply because I’m a pretentious fuss monger. And frankly, I feel like this is an achievable life goal for me. 

We Best Love 2 (Taiwan) Ep 4 - not gonna lie, this is looking to be one of my top 3 BLs of 2021. It’s SO GOOD. Big bonus to this ep for treating stalker behavior like the mental illness it is and not as some dumb representation of enduring love. 

The Most Peaceful Place is My Place (Vietnam) Ep 1 - finally dropped (find it under NƠI BÌNH YÊN NHẤT LÀ VỀ BÊN EM on O2′s channel). It’s got actors already comfortable with BL and looks pretty good so far. An angry tsundere uke reunited with his ex, a stoic chef, giving us lots of snap, crackle, and pop out the gate. 

Dear Uranus (Taiwan GL) Ep 2 - I want to love it, but it is just moving too fast. There’s not enough character dev and then they’re throwing flashbacks in? It feels like a treatment rather than a show, and a rushed treatment at that. Bummer. 

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 2 (AKA Ep 3-4) - let the cheesy popcorn continue! Idiot remains an idiot; ingenue remains an ice queen; nice gay guy remains nice and gay; obsessive stalker brother is getting ever more whackadoddle. Of course these last two have the best chemistry. (It’s caregiver codependency and the salvation trope. We got us a Leo/Fiat situation going on.​) Plus lots of classic BL tropes because OF COURSE there are lots of tropes. 

Occasionally, I am tempted to argue that shows like H4 or Cherry Magic or Ossan’s Love aren’t technically BL because of the office setting and age of the protags - but then they all behave like high school students anyway, so *shrug* 

Stand Alones

Cute little Taiwanese micro BL Friend or Lover dropped, about bisexual realization within a friendship group. Normally these are too short for me, but this one did pretty good with its 15 minutes of charm, plus it’s abad boy + shy softy pairing. 

Breaking News - Thai BL

Fish Upon the Sky released its actual trailer. The upside-down kiss is gone, which makes everyone sad, and it seems far less rivals to lovers than the first iteration, which makes ME sad. But it still looks good and a more classic BL than GMMTV has given us in a while. New trailer focused more on the makeover trope and they’ve upped Mix’s role (the object of everyone’s affection) now that he’s proved himself. (Or they are using him more to carry the trailer since he has a fan base form 1k*). Starts April 9 on GMMTV in 1K*’s time slot, probably with a 10 ep run. 

2gether the movie is apparently coming April 22 to Thai theaters. F4 Thailand must be having issues or GMMTV just wants to milk the BrightWin cash cow. It’s rumored to be a combination of 2gehter + Still 2gether with some extra scenes and ending. Also, one assumes a lot will be cut out, if it’s movie length.

Call It What You Want released its updated trailer. If anything, it looks more scary than before. What are we in for? April 9th. 

Nitiman got a release date, May 7 on One31. 

I Told Sunset About You 2 got an updated release date of May 27 on LineTV. 

Second Chance the series is coming to LineTV on March 29. I don’t know much about this one. Tons of familiar faces (mostly TharnType side dishes) and some nice looking new talent but a dearth of eng subs. I think it may take on Brothers’ time slot. Line did eng subs for Brothers so maybe they will do 2nd Chance too? 

Close Friend the series is coming April 22. This is a combination of 6 couples with 6 story arcs as music videos (maybe)? It’s an epic fan service with familiar faces like OhmFluke (UWMA), MaxNat (LBC also in Y-Destiny), YoonLay (YYY also in Y-Destiny), KimCop (GenY), and JaFirst (TT2).

Y-Destiny starts March 30, and has starting dropping couple’s trailers. I’m still suspicious given the director but it seems like there is plot (or plots) and a theme. Looks to be a series of 7 single ep vignettes (amended, see comments, might be 2 eps each for 14 eps total), different couple each time, some with supernatural elements, all with decent chemistry and acting chops. 

Sun MaxNat’s tutor/student arc

Mon jaded rich kid meets poor innocent  

Tues sports romance enemies to lovers 

Weds the messy realistic actual dating one 

Thurs hot ghost boyfriend (sad) 

Fri YoonLayPerth coping with loss and finding new love (sad). This one will all rest on Lay's acting so we know it’s in safe hands. Our boy is going to KILL it. 

Sat time-slip memory loss reunion romance 

I’m thinking we can’t expect any of these to end happy or be classic BL. They’re gonna be more slice of life-ish. 

Gossip - BL Outside of Thailand 

Scholar Ryu’s Wedding Ceremony AKA Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korean historical BL) got a legit teaser (eng sub here). @curriculumvtae​ reports that it’s releasing April 15th on WeTV (Philippines & Thailand) and Idol Romance (South Korea), while Will of Thai Bl says it’ll be on Viki too. It’s a short run of 8 ep built on a fake relationship trope (arranged marriage variant):

Ryu Ho Seon’s (Kang In Soo from You Wish) arranged marriage turns out to be with his expected bride’s brother, Choi Ki Wan (Lee Se Jin from Mr Heart). Ryu tries to undo the marriage, but his ill mother opposes this saying the scandal would be too much. Meanwhile, Kim Tae Hyeong (Jang Eui Soo from Where Your Eyes Linger), a senior at Ryu’s school, comes to congratulate him and falls in love with Choi. Then one day, the original bride disappears.

Okay it seems a bit twisty turny for ONLY 8 EPS, but oh my goodness how excited are we? Our first intentional historical BL out of Korea!

We already knew Hong Kong was doing a remake of Japan’s Ossan’s Love under the same name (not my favorite Japanese BL but so very popular) but it’s now reported to be coming to Viu in June. Who knows how the CFA will take it. Depends on whether Hong Kong bows before the NO GAY KISSES regs or if they are going to use this as a political nose thumb... things could get cray with this puppy (the original has several kisses and s shower scene). Are we back in Addicted territory only with added comedy and civil unrest?

Speaking of Japan, Absolute BL (AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko) dropped sooner than anyone thought, March 27. But being Japanese who knows how/when/if we get subs. Protag finds himself trapped in a world of BL, but being straight he fights against any hot guy that draws near, but the whole world (literally) is conspiring against him. It’s a parody adapted from a yoai.

What with Absolute BL from Japan plus Lovely Writer and Call it What You Want from Thailand, is 2021 the year of BL being ultra self referential? Sure feels like it.

In Case You Missed It

Faded a gay micro film from Taiwan from 2017 deals with parental acceptance and serves up a ton of BL tropes (piggyback, forehead kiss, etc). I’m pretty sure this was a propaganda piece for legalization of gay marriage, and it’s an interesting nugget of BL history as a result. Yes, it ends happy. It’s cute. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed a day later than actual air date for accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

Man there’s a lot going on right now! Spring has sprung... I suppose. 

P.S. I cannot believe I missed Absolute BL as a blog name. Numbnuts = me. 

[goodomens-goodomenseverywhere]

Loki ep 6 thoughts

-FEAR

-recap reminds me I hate ravonna

-I want more mobius/sylvie

-THE SONG WAHHH

-The QUOTES IN THE INTRO?? WAHHH?,

-OH,?? REAL PEOPLE VOICES??

-Greta thin burg I love u

-upside down heart in rock

-THE SUSOICIOUS LACK OF THEME MUSIC WITH THE LOKI LOGO

-this music slaps everyone say thank u Natalie holt

-they look so good….ugh

-sylvies hair…wah

-THE LITTLE CALLBACK TO LAMENTIS

-she’s asking him to tell her to stop :’)

-best buds I love dem

-she’s pulling the ‘I’m 8 minutes older than u!!’ Argument that every twin pulls

-she needs a moment now but she didn’t hesitate back in ep 4. Hmm

-Tom looks fuckin great here let’s not lie

-statues?? Omg who

-ominous door slam

-I FUCKING JUMPED

-OMINOUS ‘HEY YALL???’

-THAT WAS HORRIFYING

-what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

-I need a second

-I’m so sorry that gives me the ‘HEY SISTERS’ jumpscare energy I’m laughing but terrified

-kang

-it’s fuckin kang aint it

-oh he scared

-he’s scared

-of the lokis

-wants to bargain with them hmm

-bitchboy

-this never ends well

-BRO HES PAST THIS STUPID FUCKIN BATTLE

-this is a trick loki PLS DONT FALL FOR IT

-full offense but ‘we can reinsert you so you won’t disrupt the timeline’ and ‘you can kill thanos and have the infinity gauntlet’ cannot POSSIBLY coincide

-her eyes are creepy

-don’t let this overrule your GOAL SYLVIE

-god one of you have braincells pls

-oh she thinks they’re a thing too huh

-Disney don’t do it I stg

-THANK u

-sylvie looks so annoyed girl me too

-even my cat’s confused

-I don’t wanna have any sympathy for ravonna don’t show me those stupid fuckin rings

-LMAO THE CLOCK IS PLAYING RAVONNA TOO

-why is this so funny

-knife buds

-I shouldn’t love him but I kinda do

-okay but they’re so funny just holding their knives to him

-I’m so sorry sylvie is so cute

-her little hair flips

-it’s a Loki thing

-he’s funny but I’m fairly certain I’m gonna hate him

-at least call her by her preferred name bitch

-MOBIUS MY KINGGGGG

-WHAT A BAD BITCH I FUCKIN LOVE YOU

-“one mans void is another man’s….piece of cake”

-SHES SO ANNOYEDFKSIFKS

-youre not sorry bitch

-LMAO B-15 YOU BAD FUCKING BITCH

-OMG OMG OMG PRINCIPAL NOT-RAVONNA IS SO HOT

-B-15 like I’ll expose the fuck outta your ass

-Loki I love you but this is obviously bigger than you think

-man’s a script writer omg

-ugh not him being a sylkie shipper

-man I hate u

-NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN IM TIRED

-right when they thought they could start doing their own thing and making their own decisions he’s like SIKE!!!

-I sad

-this bitch is exactly why I’m like meh on Christian god

-must be boring

-man I don’t want him to turn them against each other

-IS THIS A RELIGIOUS ALLEGORY

-ravonna is. A little unhinged

-‘an illusion conjured by the the weak to inspire fear. A desperate bid from control’

-I’m sorry but she sounds like cliche christians

-this is coming from a cradle Catholic

-why is this the mokius/Loki fight from ep 4 all over again

-she literally says crisis of faith

-mobius: hey I think this entire institution has manipulated us and I'm gonna try and figure out what's at the bottom of it

ravonna: lies to him, has him killed

ravonna: wow i cant believe he would betray me like that

-no bc its giving Aaron burr 'now I'm the villain in your history'

-its giving catra and adora in s1 when adora's like 'they're awful' and catras like 'yeah we been knew. How dare u not condone that'

-except I don't ship Mobius and ravonna

-I had to pause to write this rant

-she threatens to prune him again as if he wouldn't just go back to the void

-mobius: we can't take away ppl's free will

Ravonna: i disagree

mobius: where are u going

ravonna: in search of free will

-PICK A SIDE

-IM TIRED

-mobius being left ONCE AGAIN

-poor bitch

-everyone has evil clones just let shit happen

-why is it literally an entire religious allegory

-HW FOUND BABY ALIOTH

-im so confused

-what does the illusion of the time keepers do at all

-he fills the same spot as them either way

-is it anonymity?

-why doesn't he just kill all the bad variants of himself

-he sounds like a liar I don't trust him

-hes just an asshole

-why doesn't he offer ppl the option to work for the tva

-if he thinks they'll still work under Sylvie and Loki then he must think they'd help

-why does he look scared

-idk why but I'm real tired of all this

-time shit's confusing

-dude i just want lokius interaction

-NOOO NOT A SYLKIE FIGHT

-no I’m so ficking emo

-I want them to be besties

-“because you can’t trust. And I can’t be trusted”

-bro I’m sad

-I’m so sad ab Loki

-he’s trying so hard not to hurt her pls

-WAHHHHH

-I am going to SOB

-HE THREW HIS SWORD DOWN IM GOING TO CRY

-he’s GROWN SO MUCH

-LOUD CRYING

-that’s it I’m fucking logging out

-Disney I hate you

-I’m so fucking pissed

-I’m so tempted not to finish this episode I’m mad

-anger fills me from top to bottom

-NOT THIS AGAIN

-I am taking a moment

-are you SERIOUS

-man

-my exact words when she says ‘I’m not you’ were “AH fuck. GODdammit” but I need you to take the liberty of imagining the exhaustion in my voice

-bro I’m just so mad

-I’m like apathetic to the rest of the plot rn sorry

-I couldn’t care less ab this

-man I am so disappointed

-I’m sorry I just am

-does it really fuckin have to go like that

-god at least let me have one last Lokius moment

-Tom Hiddleston’s deliverance of that rant was so fucking good

-like. You can hear how truly fucked up he is about all this. We’ve never seen Loki like this

-I’m rly emo about it

-I’m actually going to kill marvel

-I am. Divorcing this show

-are you fucking kidding me

-no because fuck you

-FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

-I am SO ANGRY

-I am going to be pissed forever

-you fucking make MOBIUS FORGET HIM?? JUST LIKE THAT???

-GODDAMIR

-SO IS THIS MOTHERFUCKER KANG THE CONQUERER??

-I’m so tired

-I just want to take a long fucking nap

-I’m gonna spend the next few years pretending this episode doesn’t exist

-fuck everything man. I’m fucking mad I haven’t been this mad since I watched infinity war in theaters.

-with that I will be. Dying somewhere

[sapphosclown]

hsmtmts 207 spoilers !!

felt like rewatching it here’s me thoughts 🤪

EJ AND GINA CO-ANCHORS SO TRUE

the 2 seconds of gini content love to see it

ok nini said the song means so much to her and then repeatedly tells ricky it means nothing 🤨

ej and ricky talking in the beginning 🥰

SEB LOOKED SO SAD THAT THEY COULDNT DO DEAR EVAN HANSEN AW

kourtneys like cut away where she’s giggling ab howie i love her

i love her except keep ur phone on silent queen 😚

“i… have.. abs???”

“i also padded the tush for you” “aw thanks i actually needed that”

THE FAKE ZOOM ON CARLO’S PHONE LMAO

“i would” LMAO

nini why are those heart eyes at gina so aggressive 😏

“we have to get even… right?”

why are they all so stupid i love them

everyone was so shocked gina volunteered to be look out

ok but don’t leave nini and kourtney unsupervised either bc they actually stole ginas stuff too 😁

ginas so pretty

WHYD THEY ALL YELL WILDCATS THEYRE SO DUMB

Anyways kourtney is also cute as hell in this ep

sorry i don’t like miss jen romance plots

“what’s your name” oh shit oh fuck oh shit what do i do- “diane”

north high extra making gina uncomfy for 1 minute straight

that’s the face of a lesbian who doesn’t wanna talk to this man if i’ve ever seen it

“can i get your snap” is so funny to me

RISOTTO

THEUR AWKWARD LUGHS WHEN THE GUY LEAVES LMAO THEYRE BOTH GAY IDC

it’s the way they’re bad lookouts

why the fuck did they make nini wear a tie under that shirt

that’s literally just mean whyd they do that

if they dressed me like that i’d probably wanna leave the show too /j

the only connection to hsm they have now is still calling them wildcats

i think they should’ve incorporated more hsm songs instead of periodically calling then wildcats when that’s not even their real mascot

FUGLY

“oh yeah? what isle we BOP TO THE TOP” good try babe

ej and gina being the only ones excited

don’t fucking talk ab ashlyn like that

gina standing up for ash so true

“miss jen said not to dance with the enemy” miss jen: 💃💃

sorry don’t care much for this performance

in the mean time i was eating a cheese pizza lunchable and both of the cheeses taste the exact same

rickys like fuck ur compliment… what is the compliment

it wasn’t even a compliment that was so bitchy

ricky doesn’t even like her but he looks back at her later

ik theyre just trying to break up the couples but i like that ashlyn is the center of a love triangle

plot twist red is jealous but also has a crush on antoine

tom holland on stilts

no ash loves him so much aw

also how can anyone see ej in that shirt and think straight man ik that’s stereotyping or something but COME ON

he knew damn well he was being rude

EJ “yesssss” LMAO I LOVE HIM

it’s ok ej i think the mob song is great (this version at least i haven’t heard the og sorry)

he didn’t have to be bitchy telling nini to leave

sad she didn’t perform but also i think she would’ve looked goofy lol

i’m gonna watch the performance cause i like it but here’s what i remember

ej shouldve gotten a solo

why does ricky have a guitar

ashlyn absolutely ate that blonde bitch up

red too absolutely ate

yk who else ate. carlos

HE ATE THAT ONE NOTE I STG

also kourtney and gina advancing so true

although their dancing looked kinda weird cause it was just them idk anyways

um yeah this performance is fun i’m watching it now

i didn’t notice when i watched the first time but whyd the captions spoil it was howie 😐😐

jealous red looked so funny

also east high won sorry

seb that’s what i said they should’ve had a judge

nini really said oh well we’ll do it anyways like no queen you’ll literally be disqualified

EJS FACE WHEN THE CAMERA PANNED TO HIM LMAO

rickys kinda right the song doesn’t really fit it’s too much of a pop song not musical theater

look back

i can’t believe the mf teacher took the mask. how fucking pathetic.

i don’t like that nini won’t fucking talk to ricky about how she feels even when he tries to talk to her like guys you could fix your relationship very easily

also anti romantic portwell it makes me so uncomfy

although howie being the beast i- plot twist idk how i didn’t see that coming

i like that her music she’s going by nina i think that’s kinda fun

also the preview… i stg ej and gina are gonna have some sort of moment and i’m gonna hate it

if ej doesn’t have a good amount of screen time i’m rioting

the preview pictures looked like ricky and nini make up

OH YEAH EJ GASTON MOMENT PLS

ok that’s all i think thank you

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

There and Back Again: Going back home

My hometown is a lot bigger than the place I currently live in and it's not just bigger in population, it's spread out it sprawls from miles but there's nothing there. There is nothing but street after street and miles and miles of abandoned, boarded-up, and decaying buildings. All of them are relics of a time when the oil field was booming and people actually stayed and made families there.

The oilfield picked up in the 2010’a again, but no one seemed to put down roots. They chase the money, leaving homes, pets, and friends scattered in their wake. There are hundreds of abandoned auto garages, abandoned wholesale dealers, empty boarded-up motels, theaters and stores, parks where no one plays in anymore.

This is nothing new. When I was a child and Mom would drive up 2nd Street to my grandmother's house, we would pass this old garage. At one time it was called the Elite but all the letters had been worn off of the name painted on the side, so the only thing visible was E,l, t,e. For 40 years I thought it was the El Te garage, before going back and reconciling what was left of the sign with my childhood memories.

The place where my grandmother's house used to be is overgrown with willow trees-- or what look like willow trees at 45 mph. Nature has completely reclaimed it and you could not tell any buildings were ever there.

That's another thing I was astounded at: how much greener the place looked than the last few times I came there. The area I live in now is baked to a cruise after osp with a few scraggly weeds breaking through the dried cracked up soil. In my hometown I passed houses with yards full of deep green grass.

There is a sadness that falls on me like a damp blanket whenever I come and whenever I leave again. Like a young person committing suicide, my town had so much potential. but it gave up and died.

But to the untrained eye, my hometown, while abandoned, is absolutely verdant.

The They Call Me Big Deuce EP, the solo effort from a rather young rapper who’d founded HollywoodUndead, is the perfect soundtrack for any time I go back. The inner-city rap stuff goes well with the sprawling squalor and squandered potential that permeates the air.

Yes, my hometown is like a young girl that dies at her own hands during puberty: glorious potential and beauty forever lost with only memories and relics remaining. It is a harbinger that consumes whole families like my sister Terri’: her husband and daughter committing suicide 15 years apart, and in the meantime she loses weight, sanity, lung function and the will to live. Her meth addicted, ex-convict youngest daughter left to carry on alone, causing everyone, including herself, to wonder why out of everyone, she survived.

My sister’s death lives in the majority of the lyrics of that album. Highway 87 runs the length of town from the turn off outside of town that leads to the house I grew up in, to the business my grandfather built and left to my father,that died with me when I left town in search of something better, and finally running out of town and past the cemetery where Mom, Dad, my paternal grandparents, and my beloved niece LeAnn are all buried. I would dive the length of that highway from end to end screaming out the lyrics of Sometimes at the top of my lungs, as full of angst and confusion at 45 as I ever was at 15.

Sometimes I feel like I'm falling in this mes Somehow I still feel so upset Sometimes I feel like the world was gonna end Somehow I feel like i was wrong

There is FM 700 that goes around the past the hospital where my mom and sister died, where I would spend a week with pneumonia right after Terri’s death, laying naked under that crappy hospital gown, tubes running everywhere, too weak to even use the restroom on my own with the lyrics:I took my whole fan base back, I managed to get myself back up, Back to rappin' looped in a never ending stream through my head until I was able to be released.

FM 700 also took me to my first teaching job at, what 30 years previous had been the best school in town, but now was deep in the hood. It took a good 7-8 minutes to traverse the town every morning and the song I chose to fortify myself with as Blood on my Hands.

I got blood on my hands And these streets keep gettin' colder But I won't stop for nothing, no Forty four, man, tuck them gone There's blood on my hands And these streets keep gettin' colder But this time it's me and Truth, we gettin' down Cause in the land of the deaI wear the crown

I would come screeching into the parking lot at 7:15 am, my baby gangsta rap mixing with the hardcore rap booming from the cars of tattooed, packing, gang member, drug addict and dealer parents, screaming and cussing at their kids among the cacophony of rape, robbery and murder coming from everyone else’s speakers. My HHR pumping out Deuce seemed positively quaint.

After work I would start to unwind with the Foo Fighters and I would cruise down 3rd street as far as it would go,then turn around and come back up 3rd, turning on to the North Side where I would eat dinner at the Spanish Inn and then cruise 87 again, this time listening to Breaking Through, trying to remember every time over the last 40 years that Terri and I had hung out, and how she and her daughter LeAnn were the only two people who ever had my back for so many years. But most of the time grief clogged the pipeline of my memories, and all I could do was roll the windows down, throw my head back and sing:

Fight, fight with me We'll make it through, through again now I see Where I'm gone Gone to find my home Lonely Crawling through these dark walls Finding hope if hope still existsF But I can see the things you put me through I felt this way, I felt this way for so long And all the pain I felt in this life Gone in this

Five years later as I write this, I still feel it all.

My sister has no grave. She was cremated and who knows what was done with her ashes. I leave town with one more drive down 3rd street. I take one more look at Lou’s Bar, drive past the pile of rubble I always called the El Te garage, the huge building with washed burgundy paint where you can still make out the words STEREO WAREHOUSE, the old skating rink, the rock house where my best friend used to live. When I was a child across from Mimi’s house was a huge, green piece of land rimmed by a bright white fence. Outside was a sign with a Hereford cow painted on it. Five years ago, when I left town, the fence was still there, the sign was faded and there was a Confederate flag waving defiantly in the wind. When I left this time,there was nothing there but mesquite trees.

You would think it would be liberating to take to I-20 West, and watch my hometown disappear in the rearview mirror. Leaving feels as sad and empty as arriving does. I am leaving a handful of friends, many graves, ghosts and memories. and my niece, whom for better or worse i mos the last connection to my mom and sister.

The End

[astronomical-bagel]

Do you have any more random observations about Sanders Sides? The last post with them was really cool

Gladly, kind traveler!!

We’ve been to Patton’s and Virgil’s rooms, but the remaining sides have all taken Thomas to a different realm of sorts (the debate room, the theater, the court room, and that weird black place from Forbidden fruit)

Roman resorts to Remus humor/ideas a surprising amount for someone who is terrified of being seen like him.

Virgil actually counted out every single time that Thomas had overthought a problem athd. Did he slow down time to make all the scratches in the wall? Does he make one new scratch for every time? Did he just bullshit a number? Also, him waving the scratches away is pretty cool. 

Patton started taking off his pants in aio when Roman said that “I wear the pants in this house!” And yet, in aa, Patton made Thomas put his pants back on. 

Thomas has a Very Specific track that plays almost every time something gets sentimental (like in Roman’s speech during aa) and it makes me tear up every time

The fact that they didn’t come up with and answer to ““why do we wake up in the morning?” Is kinda concerning, ngl. Also, that is a really long episode name hh (what even is the abbreviation?? wdwwuitm?)

Remus is even paler than Virgil, and obviously has darker eyeshadow, and yet everyone comments on *Virgil’s* makeup

Roman has had two food nicknames so far (Romano cheese and romaine lettuce)  and has made two food comments (maybe more), one about corn and the other about mashed potatoes, and honestly same 

Janus tends to turn his face when he’s lying, I believe. It’s especially prevalent in clbg, but I’d need to watch the other Janus eps to make sure that he keeps that habit 

Roman refers to the Dragon Witch with she/her pronouns, and yet her voice was really deep and decidedly amab, so yeah she’s definitely trans and also I love her

Roman takes off his shirt like a girl. This statement makes total sense, I promise. I’m guessing most of y’all have seen that post with girls vs boys taking off shirts? That. (And if any of y’all wanna check, Roman starts taking off his shirt near the beginning-ish of lntao)

We haven’t seen Remus with purple hair, which makes me so, so sad. Do you think the tips of his mustache were purple, too?

Roman was wearing three-ish, four-ish layers in athd. I’m surprised he didn’t get heatstroke

Logan canonically is turned on by meeting deadlines, and that is the most cursed information within the entire show, Remus included. And no one mentioned it, for some reason??

When Thomas called Logan cool, the transcript reads “disbelieving scoff” and then he sinks out

According to his playlist, Remus is a toesucker. I am not surprised.

So, from what I’ve seen, the sides’ tics are: For Logan, adjusting his glasses and tie; for Roman, running his hands through his hair (and one or two times he fiddled or clutches at his sash); for Virgil, fiddling with his sleeves, and blowing at his hair (idk he does that often tho); for Patton....I actually can’t think of any at the moment, unless putting your hands in your hips counts as a tic; for Remus, that hand thing he did, idk what to call it; and Janus is so smooth and coy that I doubt he has one, though fiddling with his gloves would probably be most likely

Virgil just wanders around Thomas’s house, apparently?? Does he like...knock down glasses sometimes?? Can he interact with Thomas’s apartment?? 

Patton has the blinds, Roman has a tv and a lamp, Virgil has stairs, and Logan has what, the door?? The kitchen??? A hallway??? Why does he have so much room?? No wonder Janus has impersonated him the most, Logan actually has room to breathe over there

The dark sides seem to have trouble rising up?? Like, I’m excluding Remus’s first appearance bc he was crouched behind a tv and ambushing his brother and that’s a bit different than the standard rising up. Like, think about it, Virgil has risen up only twice, I believe, at the end of the two-parters, and Janus, when revealed, just sorta...appeared. And when he was impersonating Logan the first time, he wobbled a bit when rising up, and the second time, he just popped into the lowdown, and at the end of the lilypadton scene, he just kinda walked into place or smth. Remus rose up from behind the tv, but after that, he just kinda appeared and reappeared later. I wonder why?

Thomas has a lamp, tv, a light switch and a window all within five feet of each other. 

Logan used to stand in roughly Virgil’s spot (the first couple eps), and Roman used to stand in Patton’s spot. It’s so strange to me when I rewatch the eps.

The first time Roman rose up, he kinda....rose up from the side? In a rainbow motion??? How did Thomas even DO that??? 

I’m also confused as to how they made roman’s hair look like it was being pulled in logic vs passion

Roman has like three-ish (his shirt seems to be made of two parts, idk if that counts as a second layer or not lol) layers, even with a black shirt underneath, while Remus has a wide collar with no undershirt like the gay slut that he is

Aaaannnd that’s all I can think of for now but THANKS for asking it’s so fun to do these (I hope I didn’t repeat any lol) and sorry for any spelling mistakes It’s like 2am lol

[trensu]

Episode 50: The One with the Greatest Family Reunion(s) of All Time

so we start the ep with nhs's truly oscar-worthy performance which results in jgy getting stabbed

And i cheer for both the performance AND the stabbing!!!

lxc has his eyes closed bc that's his coping mechanism when times get tough

lol lxc is like I TOLD YOU I WASN'T GONNA HOLD BACK IF YOU DID ONE MORE BAD THING

and jgy is like i know!! that's why i haven't done one more bad thing!!!!

everyone's faces are like sure jan

but then they look at nhs like, wait a minute...

jgy is like why are you looking at him? you're not gonna see anything! i didn't see anything all these years and i'm smarter and sneakier than all of you!!!

okay, he didn't say that last part but it was def implied

jgy: nhs, good for you. i didn't expect that you would be my downfall.

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQ--uhhh, NIE HUAISANG!!

nhs hasn't broken character either! He needs to join a theater troupe or smth with those skills.

blah blah lxc and jgy are having Feelings blah blah blah lxc is conflicted blah

hm, those Feelings are becoming rather Dramatique

ugh jgy just let it go and die already

jgy: have I ever done you wrong?

UM?? how about KILLING his little brother's soulmate?

which resulted in him having to watch his little brother suffer extreme physical punishment and then grieve for years after??

PRETTY SURE THAT HURT LXC QUITE A LOT

Jgy: now you won't even give me a chance to live?

I THINK THE FUCK NOT!!!

oh we're getting some not so great special effects and jgy drags lxc to the coffin and then bleeds all over it, gross

ooooh, the Temple of Doom is starting to fall apart

lwj makes a move towards lxc but wwx grabs his arm and stops him!

bc it's dangerous to get too close and wwx is protective of his soulmate!!

jc starts the evacuation bc hello the building is crumbling and he gets everyone out except the lan bros, wwx and jgy

Jgy: stay and die with me

FUCK YOU JGY

but lxc was ready and willing to do that, so jgy shoves him back bc why the hell not

(we're gonna ignore how awkward that particular maneuver was, we already know special effects are not a priority in this show)

Jgy's like lets emotionally torment lxc some more, just for kicks, bc I'm an ASSHOLE

lwj catches his brother and he is Concerned.

Eventually our lan bros and wwx flee the temple and jgy has one last meltdown before getting crushed LIKE THE MAGGOT HE IS

Now we cut to a shot of all our crew standing outside

and we see my bratty son slowly fall to his knees with a look of UTTER SORROW AND PAIN ON HIS FACE

Bc he was BETRAYED by his nice uncle

MY POOR SON!!

we get reaction shots from wwx and the lan bros

(wwx continues to be beautiful even when sad)

oh, now lxc and nhs are having a moment sitting on the steps of the temple

lxc asks nhs if jgy really had made a move

nhs is like, you questioning me is making me doubt everything! idk idk!!

even amidst his grief he takes a moment to be completely exasperated by NHS's catchphrase lolol

now we cut to wwx sitting on a different set of stairs, carefully fiddling with his demon flute and he looks up to see jc watching him and HE SMILES

BC THAT'S HIS LITTLE BROTHER!! 

AND THEY'RE ALL STILL MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE AFTER THAT HOT MESS!!

oooh, he's unwrapping his sleeve and we get a flash of his bare forearm 

how scandalous! you're gonna give lwj vapors, wwx

We see the very last cut on his arm fade away bc finally mxy has been avenged

AND WWX SMILES AGAIN!!

cut to jc and jl watching wwx smile

bc i mean, who wouldn't be captivated by wwx's smile?

PEOPLE YOU CAN'T TRUST, THAT'S WHO

none of the sect leaders before were captivated by that smile AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED!!!

oh that smile didn't stick around for long bc we hear barking!!

wwx gets this panicked wide-eyed expression that mAKES ME WANNA HIDE HIM AND PROTECT HIM FROM THE WORLD

But I also don't want to get murdered by LWJ's death glare so I'll just let him hide and protect wwx...

omg my bratty son looks SO HAPPY and shouts "fairy!!" before running towards his doggy friend

i'm not much of a dog person, tbh, but MY BRATTY SON IS SO HAPPY 

and fairy did bring a whole crew of cultivators...

too little too late, some smart spiritual dog he is, lololol

we've got lan disciples, and jiang disciples and all these people swarming around our crew, fussing over them. 

it's kind of sweet except i notice that no one's approached my bratty son 

he is, in fact, ALL ALONE with fairy and i am OFFENDED on his behalf

not that my bratty son seems to mind

he's too wrapped up in his doggy reunion to notice BUT I NOTICED SO I'LL BE OFFENDED ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US

wwx is smiling as he sees lwj and jc being fussed over by their respective disciples

so cute so CUTE, I love his smiles so much

lwj stands up and greets his uncle with a stately bow 

god he's elegant and regal af, how the hell does he do it

but his uncle's a douchebag and barely acknowledges him before turning to leave and lwj watches him go, kind of hurt, kind of surprised

ooooh, now we get a shot of jc watching wwx as he gets questioned by oyzz

Oyzz is like what happened? Are you hurt? Is everyone okay??

and we can see wwx is still smiling!! BC MY BOY IS MADE OF SUNSHINE OKAY

awwwww

jl looks up  with an ADORABLE smile on his face and tells fairy to wait outside 

HE TAKES FAIRY OUTSIDE BC HE KNOWS WWX IS AFRAID OF DOGS!!!

My bratty son is actually very sweet!!

jc starts to leave the scene (and it's only until now that he stops staring at wwx btw) and wwx watches him go 😔

cut to a shot of lwj blatantly staring at wwx as per usual

wwx looks up and meets his gaze 

they get lost in each other for a bit bc when DON'T they?

We’re at the steps of the temple again and we see nhs pick up jgy's crumpled up hat looking all contemplative

oops, nhs's fingers come away from the hat all tacky with blood, yuck

cut to my bratty son running back into the temple where all the cultivators are inspecting stuff and he asks ljy where wwx is

HE'S ASKING AFTER MY SUNSHINE BOY!

Y'know, his not-evil, not-angry uncle? 

ljy tells him that he and hanguang jun left after they brought them lil apple

lol, the idea of ljy and oyzz dragging lil apple along just to return him to wwx cracks me up

jl tells ljy to take care of fairy for him before he dashes off to find his new uncle

BUT JC STOPS HIM?? "don't chase after them"

look at jc being all Cool leaning against that tree

in his fashionable robes

with his awesome sword tucked in the crook of his elbow

jl throws one last glance at the direction wwx and lwj left, and then joins jc under the tree 

jc is like, they're long gone kid

jl: so that's it? you're letting them leave just like that??

jc: what else? invite them to stay for dinner? say thank you and then i am sorry??

lol, he's working himself up into a snit already

But also, like, MY BRATTY SON HAS A GOOD HEART, OKAY??

he just hides it under bluster bc he's sensitive and people are mean to him all the time!

HE WANTED TO CONNECT WITH WWX (AND MAYBE LWJ??) NOW THAT THIS WAS ALL OVER

AND HE WOULD'VE DONE IT IF NOT FOR JC BEING ALL HUNG UP ON HIS ISSUES STILL

not that i hold that against jc, that's a lot of emotional trauma he's gotta work through

LOL JL IS NOT GONNA LET HIMSELF BE COWED BY HIS UNCLE BC WHEN DOES HE EVER?

JL: it was exactly bc of the way you were acting that they took off! you're such a pain in the neck!!

AND THEN HE POUTS AND FALLS INTO A CROUCH WITH HIS ARMS CROSSED AND STARTS SULKING UP A STORM

I LOVE MY BRATTY SON SO MUCH

JC: IS THAT HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SPEAK TO YOUR ELDERS? ARE YOU ASKING TO GET DISCIPLINED??

these two crack me up every time, i swear

but the whole corporal punishment is...problematic

jc raises his arm to smack jl and jl ducks and raises his own arm to block the blow and i'm sitting here like, yikes

but then we get a shot of jc's open palm, out of focus with a crisp backdrop of red leaves from the tree they're under

and his hand is just held there, stilled for just a moment before the fingers start to gently curl inward and the strike never happens (thank god)

jc: lets go home, jin ling. let everyone go back to the place where they belong

he walks off with jin ling springing to his feet and chasing after him a beat later

jl: was there something you wanted to say to wwx?

have i mentioned i love my bratty son? BECAUSE I DO. A LOT.

jc: no, there isn't.

jl: bullshit!

I LOVE HIM!! WHAT A MOUTHY BRAT 💜

JL: i saw it with my own eyes! you wanted to talk to wwx! but you didn't say a word just now or back in the temple!

jc: there is nothing to say

jl: bullshit! you had something to say!

while this entire exchange is happening we see jc marching ahead, not looking at jl at all, but jl is walking backwards eyes pinned to his face the entire time

bc my son might be a brat but he's also pretty observant and he KNOWS his uncle 

AND NOW WE GET A FLASHBACK

WE GET A BIG REVEAL

we're back at “the ones where we gross sob FOREVER”

and wwx is telling jc to stay put at the inn while he goes to get food and meds

his voice all weak and tremulous

but jc steps out of the inn for a moment after wwx leaves

AND SEES THAT THE WEN FLUNKIES CAUGHT SIGHT OF HIS BROTHER!!

they were like three feet away from grabbing his big brother

and he says internally, "take care. i'm leaving jyl in your hands"

AND I'M CRYING BC THEY'RE PLAYING THAT MUSIC

THAT SWEET TENDER MUSIC THEY PLAY WHENEVER JYL AND HER BROTHERS HAVE A MOMENT

Jc goes and causes a distraction and lets himself be caught by the wens

SO THAT HIS BIG BROTHER AND BIG SISTER COULD STAY SAFE

I'M CRYING I'M CRYING

MY YUNMENG SIBS, MY POOR YUNMENG SIBS!! 

WHY DID THEY HAVE TO SUFFER SO?? 

WHY WERE THEY SO DAMN SELF-SACRIFICING??? 

WHY THE HELL COULDN'T THEY LEARN TO COMMUNICATE BETTER???

cut back to the present, and jc's eyes are welled up with tears 

he has a hurt little smile on his face, he says, "take care"

softly, mostly to himself

after a moment, he turns to jin ling and says "lets go"

and we watch them leave

I just want them all to be a BIG HAPPY FAMILY DAMN IT

cut to the next scene, we hear ~THEIR SONG~ start playing in the background all slow and soft

i love the overhead shot we get of them surrounded by the gorgeous foliage, it's so peaceful

As wwx and lwj walk slowly and at ease with lil apple between them 

AND MY HEART FEELS SO TENDER AND FULL OMG

lwj: wei ying

he says it all seriously. wwx looks at him and he's got A BIG SMILE ON HIS FACE 

bc he's looking at his soulmate!!!

who wouldn't smile when looking at their soulmate???

he's cheerfully twirling his flute bc finally all is right in the world! 

the mystery is solved, his loved ones are safe

and he's traveling with lwj and lil apple

nothing could be better!

wwx: whats up?

lwj is pointedly not looking at him

lwj: there is something that I…

and here he stops in his tracks, and wwx stops with him

lwj: i didn't tell you.

wwx gets all playful and leans on lil apple, and waggles his demon flute and lwj

wwx: what is it?

Look at that mischievous grin!!

he's all prepared to tease the heck out of lwj for whatever he's about to say LOL

but they're interrupted!!

wen ning and lan sizhui are running after them and wwx notices

LOLOL

His face scrunches up and he mutters under his breath like, damn it! every time!! these two are fast! 

wwx: sizhui, why are you following us? aren't you afraid of old master lan calling you out?

MY SUNSHINE BOY IS SMILING SO MUCH THIS EPISODE, I'M SO HAPPY!!!

lsz: i have something important to ask you!

he's all out of breath!

wwx turns to look at lwj eyes wide and curious before going back to lsz

wwx: what is it?

lsz goes on to explain how he's been remembering things but he's unsure of stuff so he wanted to ask them about it

wwx looks confused and glances at lwj 

lwj just looks back at him briefly before his eyes flick down

wwx: what is it that you want to know?

lsz looks down and, like, gathers up the strength needed for this next line of questioning. 

with the sweetest smile, and the softest eyes he starts listing stuff

like how he knew a cocky chef who was actually a terrible cook

(wwx laughs confusedly at this)

and how that man planted him in a field and told him he'd grow faster with some watering and sunlight

AND WE GET A FLASHBACK OF LITTLE A-YUAN PLOPPED IN THE DIRT GETTING BURIED BY WWX

he goes on to say how that man would play with him 

and how he had invited hunguang jun for a meal and then didn't pick up the tab so hanguang jun had to pay

There we get a flashback to their meal at the yiling wine house!

we cut back to the present and WWX'S FACE IS STUNNED, EYES WELLING UP WITH TEARS, AND LSZ IS GETTING CHOKED UP AS HE TELLS HIM THINGS

AND WWX'S BREATHING GETS SHAKY 

BC LSZ TELLS HIM HIS SURNAME IS WEN

wwx blinks rapidly, not believing what he's hearing

wwx: wen was your surname? isn't lan your surname?

wwx: lan sizhui, lan yuan.. A-yuan?

AND OH GOD HIS FACE, HIS FACE

His eyebrows are furrowed

His eyes are full of tears!

he's looking at lsz like this has to be a dream bc it's too good to be true

Lsz nods jerkily

AND I'M TRYING TO HOLD BACK TEARS

HOW THE HELL IS LWJ WATCHING THIS ALL GO DOWN WITHOUT CRYING??

he's watching his son so intently

he's seeing his two most precious people reunite

and there are no tears??

I DON'T UNDERSTAND

HE'S VERY OBVIOUSLY MOVED BY THIS BUT NOT CRYING

MEANWHILE MY FACE IS A FREAKING RIVER OF EMOTION

lsz: i...i am a-yuan

and his voice all cracked with feeling

wwx huffs and is still shaky

wwx: didn't a-yuan pass away already?

he's thought his kid was dead this whole time

MY HEART, MY HEART

lwj had been staring at lsz this whole time but when he hears wwx say that, his gaze drops to the ground 

HE FEELS ASHAMED (AS HE SHOULD BE!!) BC HE DIDN'T TELL WWX SOONER

wwx turns to lwj, hope and tentative joy in his voice

wwx: lan zhan, was it you?

lwj meets his gaze and says yes, his voice steady and firm

lwj: this was the thing i haven't told you about

Yeah, i know, i’ve been YELLING AT YOU ABOUT IT THIS WHOLE TIME

and wwx looks back at lsz, breath choppy and lsz flings himself into wwx's arms!!!

I AM SOBBING

lsz: i really missed you, i really missed you

THEY'RE BOTH CRYING AND CLINGING TO EACH OTHER SO HARD

OH GOD I NEED TISSUES

wwx laughs and sniffles

wwx: silly boy, why are you crying?

AS IF YOUR FACE ISN'T STREAMING WITH TEARS, WWX

lsz pulls back and scrubs his face in his sleeve

lsx: i wasn't crying. i was just feeling really sad and yet thrilled at the same time

YOU TWO STOP DENYING YOUR TEARS

IF I HAVE TO SIT IN A PUDDLE OF MY TEARS THEN YOU HAVE TO OWN UP TO YOUR OWN TEARS, YOU HEAR ME??

lsz: i couldn't put it into words

lwj: then don't

pffft, ofc lwj would be the one advocating for LESS WORDS lololol

wwx laughs at that

wwx: that's right. no need to say anything

then he starts his theatrics, bc he wouldn't be wwx without his theatrics

he leans on lil apple and rubs his own shoulder

wwx: damn, you little ones are strong, you are indeed a student of hanguang jun

he looks at lwj and points his demon flute at him

HE'S SO HAPPY

lwj: he is a student of yours as well

omg lwj delivers this line so sincerely

like, there was barely a pause between what wwx and what lwj responded with

he's so freaking earnest

LOL wwx straightens up at that and reaches for lsz

wwx: no wonder he is such a handsome boy!

Wwx, you are SHAMELESS

He giggles as he pats lsz’s face, it’s freaking adorable

lsz: master wei didn't teach me anything!

wow lsz, you've had your other dad back for all of five minutes and you're already sassing him?

he truly is wwx's son lol

wwx: i did! it was bc you were so little and you forgot

You’re sounding a bit defensive there, wwx...

lsz: yes, i seem to recall. i remember now

wwx immediately starts preening

wwx: you see. i've mentored him!

lsz: for example, switching the portrait of a beauty into--

wwx slams his hand over lsz's mouth, HIS FACE IS A PICTURE OF PANIC

LOLOLOL

lwj's eyes have widened slightly and developed an edge of Judgement 

wn peeks at lwj out of the corner of his eyes like he's trying to gauge his reaction or smth lolol

wwx laughs awkwardly and takes his hand off lsz's mouth to shake a finger at him, wearing a tight smile on his face

lsz: and when a pretty lady passes by--

wwx: NONSENSE!!!

LOL I'M  D Y I N G

wwx shouts this at the TOP OF HIS LUNGS to drown out lsz

he whirls on him pointing an accusatory finger and marches towards him as lsz scrambles back

wwx: nonsense! how come you're remembering these kinds of things? how could i teach little kids these things?

LOL HE'S TALKING SO FAST

lsz: you did! wen ning can testify!

wow, way to throw your uncle under the bus, lsz

kids these days have no filial piety!

wwx: there's nothing for wen ning to testify!

OMG WN AND LWJ IN THE BACKGROUND 🤣🤣🤣

as soon as lsz draws attention to him, wn looks at lsz like WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?

and lwj side-eyes wen ning SO HARD, like what the hell did you let wwx teach my son?

wwx: stop talking nonsense! i am telling you, little boy. lan zhan, what did you teach him?

AND WE GET THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SHOT OF LWJ HERE

as soon as wwx turns to him with his wild accusations, lwj gets this delightfully crooked smile on his face 

and he looks down as if there's TOO MUCH JOY IN HIS HEART that he can't bear to watch for long

GOD THIS IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE. 

and this marks, what, THE THIRD? the third time lwj smiles in public, all OUT IN THE OPEN?

I'M DYING, I'M DYING

wwx: when a-yuan was little and with me, he was a good boy!

lsz: it's the truth!

wwx: nonsense!

wwx: do you see that pit? no matter how big you've become, i will still plant you into that pit. understand?

lsz has a big grin on his face

wwx: what are you laughing at? you dumb boy!

AND THEN LSZ DROPS TO THE GROUND AND HUGS WWX'S LEG LIKE HE USED TO WHEN HE WAS A TODDLER

AND EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL IN THE WORLD

wwx laughs to himself and lwj still has a small smile playing across his lips as he watches his son

wwx: a-yuan, you are too old for this

AS IF HE'S NOT LOVING EVERY SECOND OF IT

wwx: do you remember, you used to grab hanguang jun's leg when you were little, just like this?

so many wonderful flashbacks of little a-yuan clinging to his parents’ legs!!

oh god, oh god, my heart, my heart is going to explode from all the tender feelings!! Look at their faces

wwx's mouth slowly curls into a smile before it grows INTO A FLASH OF HIS SQUINTY-EYED SMILE

you know the one!

the one that stretches SO BIG WITH HAPPINESS IT LIGHTS UP THE WHOLE WORLD?? YEAH, THAT ONE

and then we cut to lwj's face

he has the softest expression on his face

he's got this gentle, tiny smile, the slightest of curves at the corners of his mouth

and in his eyes are SO FULL OF LOVE AND WARMTH as he watches his soulmate smile at him with their son clinging to his soulmate's leg

AND I MUST'VE DIED AND GONE TO THE GOOD PLACE BC THIS IS JUST TOO BEAUTIFUL TO BE REAL

now we cut to a different scene, lwj and lsz are in the background have some sort of father-son chat, while wwx and wn chill in the foreground

here we find out that wn and lsz plan to go back to qishan to build some sort of memorial to their loved ones

wwx: i'll come with you

wn: that won't be necessary

wwx: you don't want me to tag along?

aw, my sunshine boy looks kinda hurt 😔

but wn assures him that that's not the case. it's just that wwx has already done more than enough for them and it's time for wen ning to go out on his own

wwx gets all teary-eyed again and pats him on the shoulder, and agrees that that's for the best

lsz and wn split off, and wwx waves his demon flute cheerfully at them, lwj at his side

wwx turns to lwj with a smile

wwx: lan zhan, lets go! 

he says happily, with confidence, then he taps chenqing on his head a couple of times

wwx: where should we go?

he grins, pulling lil apple along with him, so cheerfully!

wwx: let's get going, lil apple!

but lwj isn't turning with him

he's still in that spot, his back towards wwx who already was forging onto his next adventure

AND MY HEART IS BREAKING

BC WHY HASN'T HE TURNED TO FOLLOW WWX???

wwx slows to a stop as he notices the absence of white robes at his side AND ~THEIR SONG~ STARTS PLAYING AGAIN

he turns back slowly to look back at lwj, confused

there is too much distance between them!!

TOO MUCH!

multiple yards of distance where there should be NONE!

THERE SHOULD BE NONE DISTANCE!!!!!!

WHY ISN'T THERE NONE DISTANCE??!?!

lwj is still facing away from wwx, he's still rooted to the spot and his face has gone blank

wwx: lan zhan, you...aren't you coming with me?

HE SOUNDS SO CONFUSED, SO TIMID

HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S HAPPENING

and there's a too long pause during which wwx's eyes are desperately pinned to lwj's back

finally, FINALLY, lwj turns ever so slowly to face wwx

wwx is staring at him and lwj can only meet his eyes briefly before they slowly turn downwards

wwx gets this tiny hurt smile on his face and nods as his eyes well with tears again but this time THEY ARE NOT HAPPY TEARS

these are "i knew this was too good to be true" tears

these are "of course i can't keep good, pure lan zhan at my side" tears

these are "this is exactly what i deserve" tears

lwj looks up again, and wwx gives him a nod and a smile bc he doesn't want lwj to feel guilty for leaving him

LEAVING HIM

HE'S LEAVING HIM AGAIN 

WHY 

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

the camera pulls out, really emphasizing the distance and the sudden quiet that falls between them is severely lacking any words of explanation

AND I'M SCREAMING INTERNALLY BC WTF WHY

we cut to a truly impressive shot of the cloud recesses, followed by a cut to a waterfall 

I’m pretty sure it's the same waterfall from when they were kids and had that sword fight

and we hear the opening notes of ~Their Song~ played on the flute 

wwx walks into view on the shore of the pond the waterfall goes into, with his flute at his lips

in the background we see that lwj is at the opposite shore closer to the waterfall, sitting cross-legged with his guqin in his lap

AND THEN THEY GIVE US VOCALS

bc watching them play ~THEIR SONG~ TOGETHER BUT AT A DISTANCE WASN'T PAINFUL ENOUGH

and jfc the shots of the waterfalls in this area are freaking gorgeous

now we see them standing together on the same boulder over a smaller waterfall 

bc our boys have an aesthetic 

that aesthetic is moonlight and waterfalls, and they're sticking to it

wwx: lan zhan, tbh, it surprised me that you would take over the role of his excellency

lwj: we made a vow here

and we get a flashback to the lantern scene and hear those vows they made as kids

Back in the present, wwx smiles, and knocks back the jar of wine that he has with him bc the mystery has been solved BUT HIS ALCOHOLISM HASN'T!

and i'm sitting here SCREAMING INTERNALLY, FUCK THOSE VOWS. 

YOU'VE GOT NEW, BETTER VOWS, WHICH ARE NEVER EVER LEAVE EACH OTHER'S SIDES EVER AGAIN, DAMN IT

wwx turns to face lwj

wwx: lan zhan, you truly deserve your title, hanguang jun

and lwj turns to look back at him

lwj: and you too, wei ying

we are BLESSED with wwx's wide, squinty-eyed smile

and lwj graces us with his soft, small, secret smile

they stare at each other for a moment before turning back to gaze off into the distance

the camera pulls back to gift us with the gorgeous scenery that surrounds them

now we cut to them walking down the steps towards that big rock full of ridiculous gusulan rules

nhs is there! with his fan!

nhs: this is unexpected. cloud recesses has added another thousand rules.

wwx: nhs, no matter how many rules are added, there is one that matters most. do you know what it is?

nhs looks so at ease here

this entire time since we got back to the present to watch wwx solve this mystery, nhs was nervous, twitchy and flaky in every scene

but here, he stands straight and serene with a confidence we have not yet seen on him til now

nhs: i have no clue

he says this and it doesn't sound anything like his usual anxious, dopey, "idk idk i really don't know"

nhs: please advise, wwx.

and wwx strides up until he's right next to nhs, shoulder to shoulder, tho they're facing opposite directions

wwx: that would be...

he leans down, and lowers his voice

wwx: "thou shall not befriend the devil"

there has been a distinct lack of background noise or music since this scene started

but the minute those words leave wwx's mouth, we get ominous music. 

nhs keeps his harmless act as he meets wwx's eyes and they share a laugh 

(a laugh of acknowledgement, of recognition of each other's skills)

nhs: wwx, you have the nerve 

wwx: no i wouldn't dare. i'm no match for you.

the words they're exchanging SOUND carefree and easy on the surface, but they definitely carry some underlying tension

nhs notices lwj watching them and bows respectfully

nhs: your excellency

he turns to leave, fan open against his chest

wwx: clan leader nie, i have one question that i would love to get your opinion on.

nhs: go on

wwx: you have put in so much effort and energy, don't you want to be the Excellency?

wwx is gauging nhs's threat level to lwj

bc with the skills nhs has developed and the cover he has, it really wouldn't be all that difficult for him to depose lwj if he wanted, you know?

but nhs has never been the ambitious sort

he was perfectly content with his art, and his fans, and his porn, and being second young master, nothing more (UNTIL FUCKING JGY RUINED IT ALL)

nhs: wwx, it was once said that we can never get tired of these scenes; earth and sky, woods and fields, lakes and rivers, the mountain and the sea

nhs: as for me, i am a sensible man. if i have to, i always do it myself.

nhs: but for the things that aren't my business, i won't meddle in

and i'm not sure if there's something i'm missing, some layer of context or whatever, 

but what i get from this is that nhs is saying everything has its place and he has no desire to go outside of his own place in the world

if the situation calls for it, he will intervene but ONLY if there's no one else willing or able to step in

really, this is just his poetic way of saying, i have no interest in hurting hanguang jun or stealing his power

lwj walks up to join wwx as the two of them watch nhs leave

lwj: aren't you going to ask him?

wwx: ask him what?

wwx: who let mxy out? who released the blade spirit? who found sisi and bicao? and who wrote that anonymous letter?

and he gets this unconcerned expression on his face

with a little pout he just goes on to say that these questions don't matter anymore

and he walks off, twirling his flute

we cut to the next scene and our boys are standing face to face on a grassy hilltop. wwx points behind lwj

Brief aside to say, i love the robes lwj wears here, they’re very very pretty. White and pale blue, they look very airy and light

wwx: i will head that way

and lwj points with bichen behind wwx

lwj: i will head this way

AND THEN THEY JUST STARE AT EACH OTHER FOR A BIT

BC THEY DON'T REALLY WANNA SAY GOODBYE, DO THEY?

lwj: have you decided where you are going to go?

wwx shakes his head and tilts his chin up

wwx: it's a big world that we live in. i will wander with my fine wine and a ride, and make it my home

*cries softly* but you have a home, LWJ is your home, why are you leaving

lwj lowers his gaze

probs bc he is thinking the same thing i was

let lwj be your home, wwx

wwx: lan zhan, i will get going

and lwj gives him one single, barely there nod of the head

bc he doesn't want wwx to go!!!

but he doesn't want to hold him back either...

wwx walks past him with a smile, dragging lil apple along with him and cheerfully he says:

"as long as the sea is bound to wash up on the sand and stars are above you, we will meet again."

and lwj just watches him leave before steeling himself to turn and walk off to his wwx-less future 

but as he walks, he hears wwx playing their song on his flute so he pauses to turn back slightly

and we hear wwx’s voice over, "lan zhan, next time we see each other, you better have a name for this song."

as lwj continues walking, we hear his voice over, "way ahead of you."

and he seems slightly less sad at their parting.

AND NOW WE'RE GETTING THE FUCKING VOCALS AGAIN BC THE SHOW JUST LOVES TEARING OUR HEARTS OUT OF OUR CHEST

we get a gorgeous shot of a green cliff side and of course the cliffside has a couple of pretty waterfalls

wwx standing alone, playing on his flute, and the camera is lovingly caressing all of wwx's best features

we get a beautiful close up of wwx's lips resting over the mouthpiece of his flute, aND I THANK EVERY DEITY IN EXISTENCE FOR IT

and it's not immediately apparent bc wwx always wears dark form fitting robes

but the robes he's wearing in this scene are DEFINITELY DIFFERENT from the ones he was wearing when he and lwj parted ways

MEANING SOME TIME HAS PASSED

we have no way of knowing how much time

COULD BE AN HOUR! COULD BE A DAY! COULD BE A COUPLE OF YEARS!!

WE JUST DON'T KNOW

but time has passed

wwx is playing ~Their Song~ alone on that hill, the vocals are like honey to the ears and they crescendo to give us an overwhelming swell of emotion

the music peeters off until it's just wwx's flute reaching the last notes of ~Their Song~

as he is finishing we hear lwj's voice

"Wei Ying."

wwx freezes, like he's wondering if he imagined that voice

the music is completely gone, everything is utterly silent and wwx's face is completely open as he lowers his flute

a smile starts to curl at his mouth, small and tentative and as he turns around, ~Their Song~ crescendos into existence again

and wwx's smile grows incredulous and relieved and SO FULL OF LOVE AND JOY

I DIE, I DIE!

MY BEAUTIFUL SUNSHINE BOY

and we fade to black

bc that's where it ends

That's it

THAT'S ALL THERE IS, WE MADE IT TO THE END!

IT'S OVER, THERE'S NO MORE. MY LIFE NO LONGER HAS MEANING. OMG I JUST BURST INTO TEARS. WHY IS THIS AFFECTING ME SO MUCH

I KNEW THIS WAS COMING. I'VE SEEN THIS THREE OTHER TIMES ALREADY!! OH GOD OH GOD, I MISS WWX'S FACE ALREADY. GIVE ME BACK MY SUNSHINE BOY, LET ME KEEP HIM FOREVER *SOBS*

Hang on, hang on, just give me a minute. *deep breath* Okay, i’m good, i’m good now. 

This show is just...it’s so beautiful in every way except CGI lol and it evokes so many visceral feelings. It’s passionate, is what it is. And not in the sexual way “passionate” has been forced to become. This show is passionate the way passion is supposed to mean: piercing anguish, burning anger, utter devotion...just overwhelming feeling

But most importantly, the passion in this show is intense love:

Platonic love; see how much our main cast gave up to aid their friends and dependents

Familial love; look at the lengths those brothers and sisters went for each other

Romantic love; watch how these two soulmates returned to each other again and again regardless of all the obstacles between them

I honestly can’t think of another show that’s done this so well. I am just so grateful to have been able to watch this show, to have gotten to know these characters even tho it’s raised my standards for future shows to ridiculously high levels

So that’s it! We’ve reached the end of the guide! Now we can go back and re-visit our favorite scenes whenever we want!

Return to Masterpost

[insertbtsurl]

Kingdom ranking

My personal ranking of the groups on Kingdom now that I've (re)watched the performances from eps 2 and 3.

I am not very familiar with some of these groups, the one I know best is ATEEZ (I can name all the members and I like a few of their songs), while the one I know least is SF9 (literally all I know is they have 9 members and that one of them isn't performing because he's injured😭).

This got really long with my explanations so, long story short:

ATEEZ

Stray Kids

BTOB

The Boyz

SF9

IKON

1. ATEEZ

This level of stage production felt almost unfair to everyone else...seriously. I am a fan of Dvorak's Symphony no. 9 and it goes so well with ATEEZ's whole vibe...well it certainly goes with the pirate theme. HongJoong starting the performance brought the energy level to 12000 immediately. San looked so fierce...boy was screaming - and the pink hair looks fantastic. Yeosang being lifted by one of the backup dancers at one point...loved that. Jongho is the most intense vocalist in all of Kpop...the look he gets when he's singing is honestly scary. That high note of his was absolutely insane. They all had their moments and the eye contact they made with the camera was constant and intimidating. I loved hearing them struggle a bit with the (live!!) vocals from how hard they were dancing. The first time I saw ATEEZ perform I thought these kids were out to conquer the world, and that is the feeling I get every time I see them, Kingdom being no exception.

2. Stray Kids

Again, the stage production...hello? I loved Lee Know and Han's intro especially. Felix's makeup was sick. Their outfits and accessories in general were top notch. Shout out to the one backup dancer mirroring Bangchan, that is some intense core strength. I liked the sinister music during that part and how Bangchan slightly altered the melody of his line to fit it, very creepy. I wish the backing track had been lowered...I could hear some of them (especially Han, I.N. and Changbin) delivering strong vocals, but they were being overpowered by the track, which is a pity. The people ask for more Seungmin (he's really the one member that I felt we didn't see as much as the rest). But they REALLY came through with the energy, Han especially. In terms of stage presence and charisma I really do feel ATEEZ and them are in their own sphere.

3. BTOB

Ugh, the mics are ON! The VOCALS!! No one else on this show is singing live like THAT (but to be fair, they are not dancing like the others either...). The harmonies were seriously stunning. The instrumental of the song was beautiful, and so were their sets/props, they weren't kidding with the "Theater Ver.". Minhyuk's sword section was fun to watch and it brought a performance element that was much needed for BTOB. That being said it's really hard to rank them because even though their performance is phenomenal, it feels like they're not competing in the same sport as the others...I wouldn't be surprised if they finished last for that reason.

4. The Boyz

They had great energy and stage presence. Really nice (live!) vocals from some of the members! One of the members really stood out to me, I believe his name is Juyeon (?), he was the one who had that dance sequence with the backup dancers behing the stretchy fabric...I don't think I've ever seen it done like that, it was really cool. I assume he's a main dancer within the group, and his expressions were very solid throughout the performance. Overall, I thought the performance was creative and these boys really looked like they came to win.

5. SF9

The song was really freaking cool. I liked that they had mostly female backup dancers! The part where they lift them up on their shoulders was cool, and so was the solo part that followed, with one member (Chani?) and one of the backup dancers. I'm not sure the guy who danced the intro is, I think it's Taeyang? I hope it is because he's now my favorite. The performance overall was good and honestly hot but I didn't feel the same amount of energy from everyone and some of that lipsyncing really took me out of it :/.

6. IKON

First of all, I am biased towards those songs, I have listened to both Love Scenario and Killing Me an infinite amount of times, but I think it was my first time seeing either performed without B.I., which was very sad. I really enjoyed the beginning, with the jazzy feel, but I really don't think Love Scenario was the song for that peppy dance break...doesn't really fit the mood imo (if it wasn't for that I probably would have ranked them before SF9 tbh). However I really liked the mix on Killing Me. I feel like I didn't see the members shine equally though (did Song get any lines?) - that being said, this is something I only noticed because I am somewhat familiar with IKON...

[cl-babydew]

Another Camp Camp one, and this is a long one: Name the Top 5 things that you like or love about *each* kid from the main trio (Max, Neil, Nikki) and the performing trio (Preston, Nerris, Harrison).

Okay, here we go! XD

Max:

1.) I love how real he is. You know? Like, he may be negative all the time, but most of those times, he isn’t wrong. The world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, and he’s always there to point that out. Which to me, keeps the campers a bit more grounded. Someone has to do it.

2.) The fact that he can be compassionate in his own ways! X3 Like, he doesn’t want to show that he’s protecting you, or caring for you, so he just keeps up the act he has, while still trying his best to sneakily be there for you and watch out for you. It’s like a sibling thing, “No one can call them that, except me!” I love that a lot! XD It’s cute!

3.) His relationship with the others! I really love seeing him interact with the campers, and counselors! XD It’s always fun! Plus, he tends to learn from many of them, even tho he’ll never admit that! X3

4.) The fact that he’s saved the camp more times then Space Kid can count!! XD The boy literally states that he hates the place!! He’s tried to get rid of it, or run away!! But obviously failed each time! Tho the one time he doesn’t do anything, the camp gets sold!! But yet, all he wants is to save it!! He saved the camp!! If it wasn’t for him, it wouldn’t still be up and running!! Gosh he’s grown so much, and it shows!! The camp’s basically became his home! We all know there’s something with his parents, so I always wonder if he ever were to escape, where would he go? We all know if he had the choice, he’d never go back to his original home. So where? I think now, more then anything, he’d definitely call the camp, home. JUST ADOPT HIM ALREADY, DAVID!!

5.) THE FACT THAT HE LOVES DOGS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER ABOUT HIM! XD AHHH I LOVEEEE!!! If you put him in front of a screen, playing dog videos, he’d most likely spend hours on end watching them!! XD We found one way to occupy him! XD Someone needs to get this boy a dog, stat! XD

Neil:

1.) Neil is a crazy sciencist and I love it! XD This boy does some crazy things!! He’s only what? 10?! For someone to be that age, and be that smart!! It’s crazy!! And I love that about him!! The poor boy just wanted his Science Camp! XD I’m glad he’s at Camp Campbell tho! Definitely wouldn’t be the same without him! XD

2.) The way he reacts when talking to someone he likes, is precious!! XD He’s a stuttering mess, and I couldn’t ask for more!! Not gonna lie, I really did like him and Erin!! X3

3.) HIS NOODLE ARMS!! XD IT’S GREAT!!!! Just, YES! XD👏

4.) This may sound werid, but the fact that he’s shy to use the bathroom when others are nearby, etc. is precious! XD Plus, I can relate! I mean, who couldn’t tho? XD

5.) Sometimes, he’s the sane one of the group, and sometimes he just really isn’t. And that’s okay! XD I love the fact that he tends to have his own crazy moments! He may be logical at one point, and then the next, he’s trying to steal Space Kids blood for an experiment! XD Poor Space Kid!

I just— I can’t! 🤣

Nikki:

1.) I love how hyper she is, to the point she’d probably have to be kept on a leash of some sort! XD I wouldn’t be surprised if that already happened off screen, or soon will in an ep! She just has so much energy!! XD Idk where she gets it from, but it’s impressive!

2.) Her love for her friends is very admirable!! Like for instance, even tho she felt hurt by Max teaming with another group, she was still happy that he “found someone that makes him smile”, even if that wasn’t exactly the case! XD In my opinion, I think she’s the bow holding that trio together!! One more thing, “You know what else I love about Christmas? You guys.” X3 I love her so much!

3.) I love the fact that she hangs out with everyone!! Not just her trio, but she hangs out with all the other campers!! As we’ve seen in New Adventure!! Not only that group, but she’s hung around Harrison, being fascinated by his magic!! She’s just so out there, and it’s such a good thing to see!

4.) She’s pretty innocent, unlike the others! XD We’ve seen this many times! XD I love the scene with David tho!! XD “Did you...” snickers, “hold hands?” XD She’s so precious!! XD

5.) I love how dominant and tomboyish she is! XD I’m so happy she isn’t anything like the other girls from the other camp!! She’s herself, and not trying to impress anyone, or fit in!! She also knows how to stand her ground, she doesn’t need anyone to rescue her from her problems! XD She can handle them. Well, sometimes anyway! XD

Max’s face makes me melt! X,3

Preston:

1.) The fact that he’s a theater kid, is amazing! XD Bless the creators for creating him and adding him to that camp!! Granted, not all theater kids are the same, not as overdramatic as he can be, but most of us can relate to him! XD I hope that we have more episodes with him and his plays!! Hopefully they’re able to reference to some more popular musicals!!! XD That’d be so cool to see!!!! He’s already referred to The Phantom Of The Opera, and Les Miserables!!

2.) I love how overdramatic he can be! XD Also, his shouting tho!!!!! I kinda wonder if he does that becuz he’s so use to yelling at his grandma so she can hear him? I still find it funny how he tends to randomly do it at times! XD

3.) All he wants is for people to enjoy his shows! XD Sadly, not everyone tends to pay attention, and when they do, they aren’t even sure on what’s going on. Tbh tho, some plays/musicals are really confusing, or make no sense! XD I hope one day he’s able to achieve his dreams, and make it to broadway!

4.) I love how presistant and determined he is to entertain others!! Especially in the season 4 episode! He was trying so hard for the campers! He wanted to keep up the laughter and smiles! Deep down, all he wants is for others to appreciate his work, like many of us, so he tries to be satisfied with that one thing, tho we see it was getting tough. He wanted them to appreciate all his work, not just one joke he made. All of it. He’s put so much work into the others, and he wants that acknowledgement! It’s understandable by many of us! When you work so hard on something, but it doesn’t get that acknowledge, yet that other project that you didn’t even try on, got it! It’s nice to know that project got it, but it makes the progress you made, feel like it wasn’t worth it, or feel like it wasn’t progress at all. Okay, maybe I should get back on track! XD The point is, that’s most likely how he’s feeling! This just makes his character more understandable. (Maybe I just look too deep into things? XD)

5.) All in all, he’s a pretty funny character!! I just really enjoy seeing him on screen! I really hope we get more of him in future episodes!

Nerris:

1.) I love loveeee LOVEEE her design!! Like, the first moment I met her, I just fell in love with her character design!!!! Her hair style is incredible, especially on her!! She has plastic adorable elf ears!! X3 FRECKLESSSSS!!! JUST FRECKLESSS!!!!! Her skin color just makes her blue eyes pop (especially in fanart)!! She’s so so pretty!! Not to mention her outfit is precious! X3

2.) Her lisp that she gets from her braces is so so dang cute!!!! XD Ahh I love it!! I love it so much!! She’s just so adorable!

3.) She can be feisty and I really enjoy that! XD Poor Harrison always being the one she picks on tho! We all know why tho! X3

4.) I just love the fact that she tends to spit out random facts and references to larping, even tho I never exactly understand anything! XD Her imagination is great! Not that all the others’ isn’t ether! XD

5.) She’s such a fun character! I would love it if we could have more of her!! And even if she can be a tad rude at times, she can be just as kind and caring, like with Ered!!! Gosh I hope we get more of her!!! XD

And finally,

Harrison:

1.) He’s an awkward dork, and I love him! XD I love how one minute he can be totally confident in what he’s doing, and the next be completely awkward!! I think most of the time, Nerris is the reason for his akwardness, even tho he can sometimes fight back! XD

2.) The fact that his magic is actually real, is something I wasn’t expecting, but I loved! XD It’s crazy!! It’s also sad for many reasons!! This poor boy is seriously going through a lot mentally, and not to forget, physically! Someone plz help him?!

3.) He’s so interesting!!!!! I want more of him!!! A lot more!! There’s so many interesting things to learn about him, and those few episodes that focused on him only led to tons more questions!! GAHHHH I REALLY HOPE WE GET MORE!! XD

4.) Like Nerris, though not as loved, his outfit is pretty cute! X3 I especially love his little top hat and gloves!! Those are nice touches!

5.) At first, I didn’t really care for the way his voice sounded. It seemed at first that the VA wasn’t doing a good job. Though I have to admit, it’s totally grown on me, and I’ve grown to love it as the episodes progressed!! I learned that it wasn’t the VA at all, but how the character was! It really fits Harrison!

Thanks for the ask!! XD This was fun!!

Sorry it took me a while to finish tho!!!

One main thing though, WE NEED A PREFORMING TRIO EPISODE! AT LEAST ONE?!!!!! 🙈 Gosh I want it so bad!

[misterbitches]

i realized by the third ep bc i wasnt totally paying attn the first time and im having the most traumatic month ever that adachi like....actually is a go-getter. he just thinks he isnt.

in the show he is older than i am but we are basically the same age. i've been loud, outspoken, tall, commandeering, and been a leader when i have to be. but if i had nothing pushing me? i know who i become. adachi got a job and does good work even if he believes he doesn't. that's not something i achieve or cuold do necessarily. he keeps his job, people like him, even if they walk over him, he's just you know. him.

but when he chases after kurosawa i never realiezd...like i would never do that. that's just not who i am and i wouldn't be able to do what he did. he thought about how much courage it took but, and this isn't in a bad way, he was like "WOW I DID IT!" but he fucking did it! he does it!

it takes me ages, i must deliberate, i have to think think think. he and i are different and lead different lives; he's more stable than i am financially and securely and he did that all on his own. it's weird to have someone so conflicted but be way more of a go-getter. i put on bravado but am extremely reserved and i would just take my time. if i had his ability i wouldnt do fucking shit about it. i'd be like ok time for EVERYONE to get the FUCK away from me and for me to like. go to a brothel. he handles it cooly and well. idk like....adachi is a lot cooler than he thinks. and i know he finds out what people truly think of him but seriously he's a chill fucking dude. he's also fucking hilarious. i'm glad people got to know him.

i am contemplating torrenting this in 1080p because it's too gorgeous to have it compressed to 720p and it really takes away from my experience because i think this is filmed very well but i can't exactly tell. it's a lot more complex than i remember it being but i was like....watching 5million things at the time. i wanted to take my time.

the thing about asian dramas and bl and stuff is that it's mine to do. i don't feel pressure because most people i know don't watch it. i can find my own thoughts and talk about them. i don't have FOMO really but if i do i will just....stop watching for months. it teaches me to slow the fuck down . it's better when not everyone around me knows because i don't feel this pressure it's just me.

i love films and well-made productions (not a huge tv fan) but asian dramas have allowed me to slow down. that doesn't mean they aren't without their extreme fucking challenges as someone who respects herself and the people that are marginalized the most. but it's good to fucking SLOW THE FUCK DOWN.

i'm sad tho bc i hate watching films alone and not in theaters so i become consuming way more asian media than i would like because that shuts me off to my people and the world too. but then again it's a bit of an escape even if it covers heavy topics i guess. sometimes. i think i turn to it the most when i cannot handle the heaviness of the world and feeling like being a black woman is going to drown me even if i am so proud.

there's a lot of cross-solidarity btw which is why so many black people do flock to the media. it isn't that we don't know we're being exploited and laughed at many times, or if we're fat etc, it's that there's an underlying struggle as well. still, it sucks to be reminded of our differences as well.

cherry magic is a really good example of a concrete world and a dreamy one and i think a person on MDL said this about it; to them it feels so like manga-y, very japanese, what they remember growing up on (ik it was a manga lol) and i think they get that right. also like....real actors. i don't necessarily feel the same way about ITSAY, but i think there's a lot less solace there. i've been asking people about what they think about ITSAY like what their issues with it were bc im genuinely fascinated to know bc visually taht story is really just...impeccable. tight writing. but there's something that is off that i don't feel with CM. there's a couple of reasons why but. anyways i am hungry and going on to ep 4. i cannot believe that guy who is adachi's friend is my age. ok he is not 30. HE LOOKS 35.

also if anyone watchedwe best love, doesn't the dude that's adachi's senpai who asks him to do too much work (this is where he and i differ, i would straight up be like hmmm probably not even in a work setting lmao) look like the guy from wbl?!?!?!?!?!??!?! u know the one

[wild-battlebond]

Appmon Ep49 Liveblog

Leviathan’s Operation: Human Applications is underway, and Deusmon has started grabbing people out of the real world with his giant hands. Armed with the God-Grade Appmon, Eri, Astora, Rei, and their buddy Appmon are going to fight Deusmon!

Haru is still down in the dumps, which is extremely understandable given everything

ok I guess I completely misunderstood this the first time through, Deusmon is a completely separate Appmon from Yujin’s God Appmon. Don’t know how I managed to confuse the two. Anyways, it’s interesting how Shutmon needs to fuse with Bootmon to form a God-grade Appmon. We know that Bootmon was made by Hajime to further Levithan’s plans, and having five or six God Appmon are a part of Levithan’s plans. So it seems pretty coincidental that such a new Appmon like Bootmon would be able to fuse with a random Shutmon, so I wonder if Shutmon (and by extension, probably Offmon as well) was made by Levithan? That would explain why app fusion between the two is possible, as it would mean they were made with fusion in mind. Possibly, Shutmon was made with the original intention of destroying a bunch of stuff for Leviathan (Shutmon could even be the one who wrecked the AR Field...?), but eventually escaped somehow (a Mewtwo/Shadow the Hedgehog kind of thing, where Shutmon was too powerful to contain? or was it Minerva?) and managed to be buddied with Yujin. this would also mean that Minerva, aware of Yujin’s origins, would have specifically paired the two because they were weapons made by Leviathan starting to form their own identities.

everyone’s still kinda trying to psych each other up while they wait for Hajime to give them the info they need, lol. Also, I didn’t realize this last time, but the pinkish-blueish lighting of the room Eri and Dokamon are in is very similar to the lighting of the Appliyama stadium. Also, the room that Rei and Hackmon are in also looks like Rei’s secret hideout from before, and I’m 90% sure that the theater Astora and Musimon are in is a garbage-ized version of Unryuji Knight’s stage from before — it must’ve sunk into the deep web after the fight.

the God-grade Appmon are frightening in, like, a cosmic sort of way. Due to their large size they move slowly, methodically, and their voices are heavily deepened and corrupted. They (that is, the base buddy Appmon that formed them) also only seem half-conscious. They don’t say much, and what they do say is slightly disconnected from the situation. For example, whenever Astora does a variation on “noreru? norenai?” — in this case, ending it with “super godly!” — Musimon usually mimics the variation. But with Ouranosmon, the only thing they say is “noreru!” — not even a “chou noreru,” and mostly unrelated to what Astora was saying.

something interesting to note is that Eri seems to be acting as the leader in Haru’s abscence. Her God Appmon’s name is announced first, she kinda takes the initiative when the battle starts, and her reactions to stuff are focused on before anyone else’s reactions — all things that Haru would usually have priority for. Whether this is because the writers figured she’d be the next best leader after Haru, if it’s because she’s (in-series, not chronologically) the second App Driver, or if it’s even because her App Drive is blue and blue tends to mean second-most important in Digimon, is unknown.

Back to Haru’s sad house. it’s actually a sad Cyber Kowloon elementary school according to this sign, though, which hits harder than a generic building since it was in elementary school that Haru met Yujin.

as he’s running, he can’t help but remember the good times he had with Yujin. and as he’s running, Yujin is destroying the building and making everything come crashing down — and along with it, wrecking Haru’s good memories. using a crumbling building to represent Haru’s emotional state is a common theme in this arc, huh. it’s a good visual metaphor.

to further that metaphor, Haru is now buried in rubble — buried in the despair of his broken memories and broken dreams. Haru’s goggles have also fallen off his head — as this is a Digimon show, he has the goggles to signify his role as the protagonist. But now he’s starting to doubt himself and his protagonist-ness, and his goggles are off his head to represent that.

Gatchmon and Haru’s situation kind of parallels ep 19 — in that episode, Dogatchmon was falling into a big virus vat & feeling like a loser, and Haru risked his own safety and jumped in to save Dogatchmon. Meanwhile, in this one, Haru has fallen into a literal and figurative pit of despair, and Gatchmon is the one clawing through the rubble to save Haru.

Being a protagonist is a very vague dream, and what it means depends heavily on one’s own interpretation of it. He’s built his identity off of being a hero chosen by a mysterious entity and protecting his world, but now that a significant portion of his life and his most important relationship has turned out to be a ‘lie’ (in quotation marks since their relationship was genuine since Regular Yujin is distinct from Evil Yujin), he’s not sure what to do. The world he was trying to protect has been torn asunder.

Gatchmon knows that Haru’s life hasn’t been a lie, though — After all, Gatchmon has been right there alongside him and watched hin grow through this whole thing.

interestingly enough, if I remember right, Haru was literally about to search for something when he met Gatchmon. but, Gatchmon is mostly talking in the figurative sense here — Haru was searching for his purpose back then, too. he wanted to become a protagonist, and had a weird complex about being a side character. Meeting Gatchmon changed all that.

individually, Gatchmon can only search for things but lacks something to search for, while Haru might have the will to seek something but no way to search for it. but when they combine these traits, they’re able to do much greater things and reach much higher goals than on their own. that’s the basis on which all the buddy pairs are built off of in Appmon, and it really shines through with Haru and Gatchmon’s bond.

and then Minerva sends Yujin a quick text to remind him to not kill Haru (which leads to Yujin’s emotions cutting through his stoic and logical exterior)

it’s only once Haru has decided for himself what he’s going to do, and what kind of protagonist he’s going to be, that his picks himself up and puts his goggles back on

chosen children namedrop

Leviathan has been Apprealized, and the fight’s been taken to the real world! And Haru’s done being sad now.

[erismerald]

MY NEW ROAD - Chapter 1

» Older Daniel Diaz x reader 

» Warnings: mature, romance, blood, gang                                             

Chapter 2

» So i was hoping i could read something about daniel diaz, at the end of 5 ep, and as i was sick of waiting,  so i decided to write a long short about older daniel diaz, so let's go :)

And there I was, in this moment  i was terrified, I could I feel my blood coming out of my belly, it hurts a lot... I couldn't breathe, or think, to be honest I didn't know what to do... Who is he? Why is he here? For a few seconds i felt my body being lifted up.

" Y/N ? Oh please wake up... ahhh SEAN!!!!"

I recognized this voice, but I just let my eyes close, I felt my body fall asleep.

*A FEW HOURS EARLIER*

So HI!! My name is y/n, im 17 and right now I'm living on my own in Mexico, more property in puerto lobos.

I'm a very simple girl, I grew up in LA with my grandparents, I never met my parents, and during my life, my grandparents never told me about their daughter, they just told me that she had abandoned me when I was Little, and as for my father, they didn't know who she was, so I never really cared about that.

I've been living here for about six weeks,I study in a small americam school, near here. I'm loving living here I never thought, that a dream I had since I was little would come true so soon, I decided to live here, because I love Mexican culture and not to mention that living by the beach never tires anyone, and I still have the privilege of seeing the sunset disappear into the waves...

Since I was a child I was very shy and I don't know how to express myself to others anht this is the reason why I've not be able to make friends in this new school yet, I feel ashamed when they look at me or try to talk to me, it's complicated, however, I've always managed to make some friends in LA, people I talk to almost every single day.

it's already 7 am i think i should be preparing for school but i think laziness has won ahaha, I got up and tried to take as little time as possible, I don't want to be late again or Ms. Lopez will kick me out of her class again.

I was new to that school and it wasn't the first time I was late, which I can say I love sleeping, but I have to work harder to make sure that doesn't happen, and I'm going to start right now haha.

I tried to take as little time as possible, of course that for me it's kind of impossible, because, I still had to take a shower before going, but I think at least I won't be late this time, I look at the clock and OMG is already 7:50 and the classes start at 8:00, ahhhhh how will I get to school in 10... Afff so much effort for nothing, well at least I can still get to the beginning of the first class.

On the way to school, I saw him again... I think his name is Daniel, he's from my class but I never talked to him before, and to be honest, I never had the courage to talk to him, well... not only with him, I think with everyone in general, so far I haven't made any friends, except the lady from the apartment next door, and we only talk on Sundays, because we have the same way when we go to church.

  I think I've been looking at him too long... why do I say that? He's looking at me right now. I can't deny it he's beautiful... he's so mysterious, but from what I've seen of him, at school he's very fun, reserved, but fun.

I felt him staring at me, which made me completely ashamed, and my only option for not having to talk to him was to hit him and not, to look at him as I passed by, even with my back to him his gaze managed to make me feel a huge chill, but it's a good thing that I'm already arriving at school.

For real I didn't know what to tell him anyways.

When i arrived at school i came across Ms.Lopez on the way. And I think it was at this moment that I realized I was completely fucked up, I tried to go unnoticed, but without success.

And when I turned back I only saw her ferocious gaze directed at me.

"Miss l/n shouldn't be in class already. Preferably sitting at your desk waiting for me." - she looked at me with a deadly look on her face

"oh I finally find you y/n, thx for waiting for me, and here you have your Spanish book that you lent me." He looked at me and winked at me, so that I could continue with the theater.

"O-of course I do, Daniel, there's nothing to be thankful for" he stands next to me and takes my hand. And he gave me the book, I felt my heart go off a thousand an hour...When I lifted my face I saw his eyes glued on me, why did he protect me?

"Is that why you were late?" She looked at me and then at Daniel, I felt the anger in her eyes

"yes i decided to wait for daniel" i smiled at her, and i felt daniel put himself behind me

"Vamos, no te enojes con ella, maestra. Sólo fue esta vez (Come on, don't get mad at her, teacher. It was just this time .)" Daniel grabbed my shoulders and spoke, I saw Ms. Lopez calm her eyes and take a deep breath.

"Hum being so, i let you pass your delay this time you two have 5 minutes to introduce you in my class, and miss L/N thank the boy Daniel for helping her " his voice was calm now but his words were cold.

She continued on her way to the classroom, and I hear Daniel laughed

"You're welcome!" daniel said as my body moved, his voice was now hoarse, I sounded hypnotized by the voice of him.

"T-thank you for helping me." I tried to be short and quick in my answer. I was so nervous and idk why.

"let's go to class before Ms. Lopez decides to murder us, because we're late" daniel just went on her way but stopped 3 steps ahead of me.

"will have to pull you?" he laughs softly and throws a half smile, my heart, jumped a beat when i saw that smile.

"Y-yes" I just followed him.... When we arrived in the room each one sat in his seat, but for some reason, Daniel kept looking at me and it made me nervous for the rest of the time.

During the rest of the day, everything went as usual, except for the failed attempt by me to escape Daniel's gaze, I  don't know what he was looking for in me, but I think I managed to make him lose interest for a while. I think.

When I finally rang the exit bell, I was the first to leave for the first time, I didn't want to know anything else, I just wanted to get home and enjoy being alone.

When I walked through the school gate, I took a deep breath and tried to rearrange my ideas, how can something as simple as talking to a person make me so nervous?

I'll speed up the walk and look at the sky and then at the sea at the end of the street to calm myself down. I didn't understand what was going on this day but I just asked it to end quickly. Yeah, to tell you the truth, I've never had a boy look at me for so long, am I getting a crush on him? AHHHHH well  I hope not.

When I was almost at home, I felt a chill on my back and soon I could be able to realized what was happening....

"Are you trying to avoid me?" Not that voice, not again.

I turned slowly and there he was, did he follow me? When I looked at him I felt my face boiling with shame.

"Did the Cat eat your tongue?" he looked at me and laughed, and began to approach me.

I tried to ignore to not have to answer, I really suffered from many anxiety problems and did not know what to do in these situations.

"okay i got you, you don't want to talk to me don't worry" he looked at the floor and his cheerful expression went to sadness

"well see you tomorrow at school" when he was going to turn around and continue on his way i screamed

"WAIT"

He turned to me and smiled... OH God that smile was so sweet

"I thought you weren't gonna answer ahaha."

"I'm not ignoring you, or avoiding you...I'm just too shy to talk" I couldn't face his eyes so I just looked at the ground.

"Are you sure? I didn't want to get into it with Ms Lopez, but I knew if I didn't, she'd kick you out of her class" when I looked up I came across the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen.

It made me blush, involuntarily, I didn't know what to say.

"thank you...and it's okay, I'd be kicked out if it wasn't for you too, so thank you for helping me."

"You're welcome, I've always seen you being very shy with everyone and you don't seem to be the kind of person who would be late on purpose, well, I won't take up your time. See you tomorrow"

he said with a perverse smile on his face

"Oh and if tomorrow you want company for the school I can wait here for you".

I didn't have time to say anything else I just agreed and entered the building.

When I got home I lay on the couch, looking at the ceiling, trying to see what had happened, I didn't notice it, but I felt my body tired and ended up falling asleep.

"Daniel... Something about him attracted me...'

I opened my eyes very slowly, I looked at the window and it was already dark, I picked up my phone and turned it on, I had 5 unanswered calls from my grandmother, this was strange she didn't call me so often

I dialed her number and called...

"y/n honey is you?"

"yes Grandma, what's going on?  I'm sorry I was so tired that I fell asleep and didn't hear you call".

Without telling me anything else she felt like she was crying, but what happened to make my grandmother cry she hardly ever does, and when I say that she doesn't, it's because it's rare.

"Honey, I have something to tell you... Your mother is looking for you," those words left me unanswered, my mother?

No...

No...

Couldn't be, my mother abandoned me 16 years ago, for me she died... I started crying, that person who abandoned me 16 years ago, now its looking for me why? I had so many questions in my mind, I couldn't talk to anybody, I just need some time.

"honey are there? Y/n?" My grandmother called me...

"I'm sorry Grandma, I need to think a little, I'll call you later."

"darling no-" i hung up on her, i don't like to do this but i need time to process

I got up, grabbed my jacket and went out towards the beachWhen I got there I sat down on the sand, and watched the sea, and the waves coming at me, I didn't want to believe that my mother was looking for me, if she hadn't wanted me in 16 years, she wouldn't want me now.... Now I did not even want her back

At that moment I felt that I was not alone there, I turned around and saw a group of people coming towards me.

I got up quickly and tried to get out of there, but it was too late.

Fear sometimes makes us irrational, and at this moment I did not know what to do, I did not know how to react, I was scared, I felt one of the men grabbing me by the arms, and attached me to his body

"hey you, don't move so much kittens, let's talk"

The second man spoke and stood in front of me, and grabbed my face forcing me to look at him.

"so you're the Diaz little princess aren't you?" I wasn't noticing anything, I just tried to get away but without success, I wonder what would happen to me...

I tried to fight and I tried to let go, but unfortunately I only did worse, he pressed himself behind my back and won't let me go.

"Let's teach that boy a lesson, that's what he and his brother will pay to judge us dumb."

One of them pulled a knife out of his waist and approached me...

"NO PLEASE DON'T"

I started screaming, and crying madly, I was now completely scared.

At that very moment, I felt the blade pierce my skin... I didn't know what to do, I just tried to struggle

But when I turned my head, there he was, out of nowhere, the people around me were thrown away, I felt my body fall into the sand...

And there I was, in this moment  i was terrified, I could I feel my blood coming out of my belly, it hurts a lot... I couldn't breathe, or think, to be honest I didn't know what to do... Who is he? Why is he here? For a few seconds i felt my body being lifted up.

" Y/N ? Oh please wake up... ahhh SEAN!!!!"

I recognized this voice, but I just let my eyes close, I felt my body fall asleep...

But to be honest I felt my body warm, from this moment on, it just got dark.

_______________________________________

[simonjadis]

Anon I’m ASSUMING that these are from the same person; apologies if they are not

I would say that my feelings are similar to yours, but not quite identical ...

Disney’s handling has been imperfect, and some of the mistakes have been made the highest level (I know that people give Kathleen Kennedy a hard time, but if rumor is to be believed, some of the interference that made IX kind of weird came from higher than that)

for example, Kennedy said in an interview that she tries to find people who just make big, successful movies to make sure that these are also big, successful movies. I can understand that as being a safe bet from a business stand point, but that’s not the same thing as finding someone passionate about very specifically telling good, new Star Wars stories, which we did not really get in the Sequel Trilogy

(one of the most common theories that I saw from TLJ apologists was that people didn’t like that it was new/different than what they were expecting, which was really not the issue for me or my friends. Also it was just a speedrun of parts of Episodes V and VI)

I think that I’m “too close” to Star Wars to see it as a financial asset rather than a beloved universe full of characters and stories that I adore, but I don’t think that “literally just rehash the Original Trilogy for two movies and barely acknowledge any other part of Star Wars until IX” was a good idea

Rey deserved her own story. and Luke deserved to not be retroactively robbed of his

as for George Lucas, I do think that years of backlash over the Prequels sucked the fun out of it for him. Also, who doesn’t want four billion dollars? it was a sweetheart deal for Disney, of course

the sad thing is that this meant the end of Clone Wars, because Disney took one look at Lucasfilm’s budget and was like “OH NO YOU CANNOT SPEND THAT KIND OF MONEY ON A CARTOON” which is why Season 6 was paid for by Netflix and why Maul: Son of Dathomir was a comic

I love Star Wars Rebels and I’m not trying to knock the show at all, but the budgetary difference was palpable. Clone Wars did have it a little easier because of the Clone Troopers (all having the same face), but on Rebels, you notice that 90% of the Imperials are the same guy wearing a hat with his visor obscuring most of his face. market scenes show just a few people (but plenty of Storm Troopers)

the designs of the main characters -- Ezra, Hera, Sabine, Zeb, Kallus, Thrawn, Kanan, etc -- are great and loving and detailed and most of those change a little over time, but there’s a reason that we only see so many planets on Rebels. look at the huge armies and crowds in Rebels. my friend @drunkkenobi​ is the first who pointed out to me that in Clone Wars, you sometimes see lines of ships (Space Traffic) and each ship in line will be unique, distinct from the others

it’s not Rebels’ fault that they didn’t have that kind of budget. that’s also why their space battles (and space ships) never quite look right. meanwhile, for Clone Wars, if they wanted a particular scene or ship that went over their planned budget, all that they had to do was ask Uncle George

eccentric billionaires funding expensive media isn’t necessarily the most sustainable model for storytelling, but it sure worked out well for Clone Wars and for The Expanse

(Jeff Bezos personally called up the head of Amazon Prime programming, who had already been considering acquiring the extremely good but expensive show, and was like “hey the cast from this show is at a thing where I am, I’d love to just tell them that their show is saved, give me it?” and we saw as many new locations in Season 4 as we did in the first three seasons)

but streaming -- where you actually get money directly from customers who then, through their activity on your platform, show you exactly what they want to see aka what is keeping them on your platform -- offers a new opportunity for high quality genre media. remember, scifi and fantasy were EVERYWHERE in the ‘90s and the early aughts, and then because too expensive for regular TV unless they had huge audiences. only through streaming do we have these new Star Treks, The Witcher, and the real possibility of a new Stargate series

why do I bring up streaming? because

The Mandalorian goes to show that Disney can 100% do good Star Wars. Rebels was good, despite its budget, but can you imagine how much better it would have been if it had aired on Disney+

as with the DC movies (three of which are good and I’m also excited for Birds of Prey), the solution to the our-movies-made-a-lot-of-money-but-aren’t-strictly-speaking-good is literally just “let the people who do the cartoons make the movies”

and now we’re getting a final, seventh (half) season of Clone Wars! twelve episodes looking better than the show has ever looked!!

if you’re like me, you probably thought to yourself “gee, only 12?” and, cynically, you figured that it’s a trick -- announced at ComicCon in 2018 to build up the first wave of hype for Disney+

and it is ... but it 100% worked on me, I signed up for Disney+ and will pay anything for Clone War

my HOPE is that this is a test run to see if people really like high-quality animated Star Wars stories enough to continue with it. there’s only so much clone wars that one can cover (my suspicion is that we will see Ahsoka fake her death during Order 66 in these eps, so yep, that’s the end of the Clone Wars right there)

imagine a well-written series with everything that Clone Wars had in terms of content and visual quality, but it’s set after Episode IX. to my frustration, IX ends with effectively the same worldstate as VI which essentially means that nothing much happened in the Sequel Trilogy. but imagine a series set after IX. we could see a new set of (Force-wielding) characters. we could see Rey, Finn, Poe, and Rose during some episodes. Rose could finally get to do something that’s not an insulting fool’s errand (she deserves so much better!!!!!)

we don’t need a new Big Scary Empire/First Order thing, just organized crime and pirates and Hutts and bounty hunters and individual planet systems going to war as the characters try to assemble a NEW New Republic (gods I hate the unchanged worldstate)

now, I know that Star Wars Resistance is not ... reassuring. this is the only screencap that I have from it because I couldn’t get into it. it’s not the animation (I enjoyed Tron Uprising and Iron Man: Armored Adventures and this is the same kind of deal), but three things:

-I watch Star Wars for the Force primarily; other stuff can be cool but I need the Force

-I will never care about ships racing and really I don’t care about an individual ship flying; I’m a Command Ship kind of space nerd

-apparently the writing doesn’t improve much during the first season. people tell the main character to not do something, then he does it, and disaster ensues. that’s ... it’s fine, it’s fine to exist as a show, it’s just not for me

obviously, not all Star Wars media is for me, but when something -- like TLJ or the Sequel Series as a whole (even though VII and IX are enjoyable) or Resistance -- disappoints me, I would never accuse it of “ruining Star Wars”

Star Wars is a whole franchise. the breadth of canon isn’t all wiped away by some disappointments. was the MCU ruined by Age of Ultron? no. it was a bad movie but from the same franchise that gave us The Winter Soldier and Thor Ragnarok. hell, Dawn of Justice doesn’t “ruin” Wonder Woman or Aquaman or Shazam. bad movies aren’t contagious

for the past several years, the Entitled Dude crowd has felt empowered. they were radicalized in the altright/redpill/MGTOW/meninist/nazi/gamergate/comicsgate/etc spheres of the internet and now they just have a reflex where they see any sort of representation and decry it as “SJW,” which they also seem to think is a bad thing

in the same way that well-meaning people on tumblr can get radicalized into being antis/puriteens, people with certain vulnerabilities on reddit or youtube can get sucked into a world that tells them that they are the default and that other people existing is “political” in media and in real life, and that people being upset by outright cruelty towards them is both funny and means that the cruel person is the victor. they need therapy and studios need to not listen to them

unfortunately, sometimes there are movies that are bad despite having things like solid representation. Ghostbusters 2016 was a delight, but my friends and I with whom I saw TLJ (all of us queer feminists) left the theater angry. we’ve bitten our tongues a lot (even if it seems otherwise) because publicly criticizing the film too often leads some incel monster to chime in with agreement, and we’re just like

the redpillgate crowed et all is a natural ally of conservative white evangelicals, even though the former group is generally made up of New Atheists (the short version is atheists who hold socially conservative views because racism/misogyny/transphobia benefit them without using christianity as an excuse). it’s kind of like how terfs will side with conservative hate groups because, though they’re natural enemies, they both despite trans people just for existing

unfortunately, when you’re looking at who went to see a movie or who hated it, not everyone posts with an ID card saying exactly their demographic. which is only going to make studios like Disney even more nervous about including queer content in Star Wars and in the MCU (I mean real queer content with characters whose names don’t have to be searched on a wiki)

that was a bit of a tangent, but yeah. sorry if I missed anything