#IT'S MY FUCKING MONEY IM DISABLED GIVE ME MY GODDAMN MONEY YOU ASSHOLES

[lastoneout]

The reason pointing out the fact that the money the Social Security Administration is withholding from you if YOUR money and they should have an obligation to give it back when the time comes makes me feel like I'm pulling libertarian talking points is 1) that's the logic Ayn Rand(may she rest in misery) used to justify accepting social security payments when she was old and I hate agreeing with that rancid hag about anything, and 2) just because while it is true that it's YOUR money a libertarian would look at the issues with the SSA and go "okay well we should just get rid of it then, welfare is theft, if you didn't save money for retirement you should just die" when the real problem isn't welfare and social safety nets funded by the people it's that the gov SAID they were creating a social safety net and then blew the fucking money and they know they fucked up and instead of owning up to it and fixing it they've been trying to blame the people for it ever since.

Like if you started working a part-time job at 15/16 and your parents decided you should give them like $25-50 out of every paycheck, matched it, and put it in a savings account where it could gain interest so that when you hit 18 you have a decent chunk of change to use to help you move or get a car or whatever, that wouldn't be a problem. The problem is if they took all the money, blew it on something stupid and then acted like it was your fault when you hit 18 and were pissed to discover that you don't have a savings account to help you transition to adulthood, especially because it was YOUR fucking money they took.

The issue isn't the concept of a social safety net, it's with the gov fucking it up and never figuring out how to un-fuck it up. And also that they deny people disability, I've said this before but it should be fucking illegal for them to do that. If you're disabled you get money, any society that fucks that up has failed.

[bananonbinary]

I noticed in your tags you mentioned getting an autism diagnosis at an older age. I'm fairly certain I am but I'm not sure if it's worth it to get diagnosed because I hear people talk about how hard and expensive it is to get.

I meant to ask how did you go about it but I sent the ask too soon.

uhh well. it WAS really hard for me. i dont think my experience was super typical tho? at least, i hope not. (this is going to be kinda bleak, but i really don’t think it’s what you have to look forward to or anything. hopefully it could provide more of a roadmap for what not to do)

1) im actually pretty “““low-functioning,”““ which is a stupid term, but is relevant here because phone calls to strangers are basically impossible for me, and its very difficult for me to actually talk to People In Authority without freezing up and losing my voice. so i a) hit a lot of roadblocks that couldve been easily avoided by someone more outspoken, and b) had to rely a lot on my family to help have these conversations anyway. which i recognize isn’t really an option for a lot of people.

2) this all ended fairly recently and im still pretty mad about it, so it probably is a lil more negative than it has to be

the actual process was several years of nothing, followed by finally getting it done in a few months, and it was basically:

me: “hey the office i go to for mental health shit, i need a new psychiatrist, and i’m also pretty sure i have autism, do you have anyone who could help me get diagnosed with that?”

them: “sure here’s this guy” (guy does not know shit about autism, but waffles every time we ask and does not reveal that fact to us until several MONTHS later)

me: “hey guy i’m stuck with as a psychiatrist at the moment, i’m pretty sure i have autism, how do i get diagnosed”

them: “there is no way to diagnose autism in adults, and also autistic people are just spinning in circles and arent aware of the world around them, you aren’t autistic” (blatant lies AND heavy ableism lmao. i finally fired that asshole recently and it was supremely satisfying)

me: “hey my gp, im pretty sure im on the autism spectrum and my mental health professionals are fucking useless, pls help?”

them: “oh man, i love those mental health people :) anyway, aren’t we all on the autism spectrum somewhere? now, lets talk about your weight instead”

me: “hey local autism clinics, im pretty sure i’m autistic, any chance-”

them: “no. we only work with kids, and also need a referral from your gp. and we’re not taking any new patients at this time anyway”

finally, FINALLY, like 3 years later, i found a really great therapist, who’s also a licensed clinical social worker. for the record, i found her out of state and all of our appointments are by video call. highly recommend looking for this sort of set up if you’re having trouble finding mental healthcare professionals that don’t fucking suck in your area, because i promise having good therapy remotely is leagues better than shit therapy in person.

within like 3 months i told her i’m pretty sure i’m autistic, but couldn’t find any way to get diagnosed without my gp on board. she did some research for me, and reached out to a colleague of hers in the area that works with autistic people.

i got an appointment with said colleague (who was great), who basically went through the dsm checklist, said “yep youre autistic” and referred me to another doctor to actually get diagnosed.

that doctor sucked, and literally just went through the same damn checklist the previous doctor went through, but this time charged me $1500 for it, and didnt take our insurance. also said i couldnt be low functioning because i have thought about my gender identity. so, yikes.

but i got the diagnosis! huzzah!

and now my therapist is helping me to set up an appointment to work with an occupational therapist for sensory processing issues, so i can actually FINALLY get some goddamn help (which technically didn’t need the autism diagnosis but none of those shit doctors believed i HAD sensory processing issues until i got it, so). AND family is helping me finally figure out how to apply for disability so i can have some actual agency in my life. we’re also talking to that first doctor who said i was autistic, and she’s got loads to say about how antidepressants and shit dont even work in the expected way in autistic brains, and is hopefully gonna help me find things for non-autism mental health issues that actually, you know, work for me for the first time in my life.

the moral of this story is, it’s REALLY REALLY HARD to try and get a diagnosis if you don’t have a professional on your side. but if you do, it can be really good, and you just need to worry about the money issue. once i found someone who was willing to help me, even though she’s not actually a medical doctor or even in the same state as me, things moved shockingly quickly. and are still moving quickly. i’m really glad i actually did it, because i very desperately need help and i am very, very close to actually receiving it. most of the pain of this story boils down to me floundering because i had no clue what i was actually supposed to do, and no one i asked would give me a hint.

so...is it worth it? depends. even if you actually skip to the end there, i’m pretty sure the random ableism and ungodly price is pretty typical. so, if you think the potential opportunities a diagnosis presents is worth that part (which it super was in my case), then go for it! but if that doesn’t quite balance out for you, remember that there’s tons of good people with good advice in the autistic community who don’t care if you’re professionally diagnosed or not.

[snvffyth3cl0wn]

i think the worst part is that i sympathized with the fucker for a while there because i knew plenty of really good and truly decent people just like him in both the rich parents way and criminal way and i know plenty of rich people who'd never tolerate and enable their kids doing the shit he did like his dad does. and admittedly he did experience real abuse and trauma that fucked him up. but i am poor as shit and traumatized to a point where my personality in and of itself is a disorder. im disabled and neurodivergent and struggle to make ends meet. i've spent my ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE in poverty and a constant state of unresolved and compounding truama. and even after all the shoplifting and stealing i did as a kid and in my teens, even the most petty of thefts, i would never threaten the life of another person to do so and i would ESPECIALLY never do that shit if i had access to money and resources. the whole fucking reason i and people like me in various situations over the years is because we cannot afford anything at all whatsoever. and usually when people who arent complete pieces of shit steal it's not from your local mom and pop pizza place at fucking knifepoint and even if it was most of us would usually immediately use some of that cash to pay off the other poor people we borrowed from. and decent people who steal dont generally steal from people who are worse off than them because they have empathy for those people. like steal all you want but the second you're just stealing to fucking steal shit and threatening violence when you're well off and have never experienced being anything lower than upper middle class only to get away with it when you get caught solely because your daddy could buy people's silence is real scum of the earth type shit. and to try and get pity because boo hoo you're so lonely? jesus fucking christ. will these people ever get a grip? like i know they won't but i think it's just so telling how little empathy the upper class has when they're as eager as they are to scumbag, threaten, and manipulate poor folk. and it also shows how quick to accept and empathize with people lower class folks are because at the end of the day i and everyone who let this asshole in was a poor person who's immediate thought was "yeah i been on hard times too. let me help you out, homie. we take care of each other here". like that's so fucking telling and these are all things i knew and already experienced with other entitled rich fucks but every time this shit happens it enrages me to no end and i want to shriek.

and the worst part isn't that he essentially stalked and pressured me into a relationship or pressured me to give him money because he knew i was willing to help or straight up stole from me or stole from other people or threatened a nice woman who wouldn't take his shit and got away with ALL OF IT. it's how quick my family members and other bougie and upper class people were/are to take his side solely because he's attractive with a rich dad. like my family pressured me to date him putting me on the spot urging us to get together, letting him in our home when i explicitly stated he wasnt invited, and going as far as saying they wouldnt mind us having a future together and he took full fucking advantage of that situation to steal from me and try to hurt me. and the thing that pushed them into hating him? he got arrested in front of their nice suburban home and made them feel judged by the neighborhood. and of course i was to blame and was grilled about whether or not i was involved. because yeah i would totally jepordize my bright future with a dumb bullshit idea to steal from a woman who knew us by fucking name.

i'm poor and from the "wrong side of the tracks" so i get treated like shit by my own materialistic ass family every goddamn day let alone the world as a whole. meanwhile this actual piece of human garbage can get away with that shit and not only can he proceed to continue his shit excuse of a musical career but he can also be protected from public shaming for his actions (because he deserves that at the very fucking least) and proceed to keep manipulating people who are just trying to be nice and helpful because they experience basic human emotions like caring about other people and not wanting to see one's friends go without.

[xqueerneurosisx]

crying “wah wah im trans too” in response to trans WOMEN, which you are NOT, telling you to stop financially supporting a billionaire transmisogynist who is literally currently writing a book portraying us as murderous men playing dress up, and then writing that all off as “bad person did bad thing but i still want to wike it so i don’t care” i don’t think anyone would know where to start with this absolute display of arrogance and ignorance. you seriously need a reality check.

Lmao you clearly don’t understand that the TERF shit hurts me just as much as it does trans women, do you? It’s not “Trans women exclusionary,” just because they talk more about trans women. It’s fucking “TRANS EXCLUSIONARY,” asshole. I’m still seen just as much as a predator by these people as y’all are.

And a-fucking-gain. I don’t even own a goddamn book or piece of stupid fucking merch, you condescending, shit-eating little gnat of a coward!!

People brought up being trans TO ME when all I did was tell assholes like you that all of that still doesn’t give you the right to tell DISABLED PEOPLE, to “just get over it,” about shit that they cannot control! (Aka having special interests/hyperfixations on HP in general)

And what the fuck else am I supposed to call it?! Yeah, JKR is a bad person. That’s what I fucking said. That doesn’t change the fact she is literally successful with her franchise about fictional fucking wizard stories here. Nor does it change the impact those stories had on people, because that impact has ALREADY HAPPENED.

No matter what the fuck you say to me, you’re not gonna convince me that liking a fictional fucking franchise is even anything close to actually being an active bigot, because it’s just not. That’s fucking ridiculous. Also, fuck you there ARE different ways of dealing with that shit. You don’t just have to try to not give her money. I mean I get it, capitalism and all that shit, but that’s still not the only way, and it’s not even the only EFFECTIVE way either.

And fucking seriously, I’m a trans disabled person who is closeted because there are people in my real life who can and WILL institutionalize me for all of the above if I’m not masking/pretending to be cis/straight 24/7. You don’t get to fucking talk down to ME about reality, you slimy little fucking worm!