#IT'S ALWAYS ME

[maximumkillshot]

Round 2

My second ambulance ride in about 2 weeks.... lovely. First one for seizures... now possible blood clots and heart palpitations... I hate this.

Not to mention emt's were joking around saying what I was feeling was "a lot".

No shit, it feels like someone's punching my heart through my diaphragm, tugging on my heart, and flipping it... yeah, "a lot" doesn't even begin to cover it.

I've never been so embarrassed tbh. Like I wasn't even there with operating ears.

[ashley--nicole]

I swear I am the Neville Longbottom of my family.

[eklipxe]

[amerasdreams]

idk where this thing about men being the only protective ones comes from. Maybe I’m in the minority. But I have a strong protective streak. (whether I can actually protect is another matter) Maybe it comes from being the oldest child. In any case, I have a strong sense of justice. Perhaps it comes from that. I want to help. I want to make the world better. (this is where a lot of internal conflict comes from-- I want to do so much but I’m so limited so far....:() I want to protect not just women and children, but men also. Help the ones in trouble. Yes, just being a man doesn’t mean you can handle everything thrown at you-- you don’t have infinite strength. (lots of women can help... in different ways... perhaps I can’t do the most, but perhaps I can do something... from my own abilities and talents....). I see an imbalance, I want to fix it. That’s why I hate the fact women are more often victims. I want to lower that statistic. I’ve seen what happens-- women getting abused and staying in that relationship despite the danger because they think that’s the only one that’ll love them, they think that they can fix him, they have a relationship that’s dysfunctional but still a strong bond, “good times” despite the bad. I wish more women could break free of that. And I wish that women didn’t have to fear for their safety each time they go out on their own. I want to be able to feel safe and not worry about bad men--it can be women, but it’s usually men. They use their strength as entitlement to be bullies. (of course there’s good men, I’m talking about the bad ones. too many. more should be responsible with what they have) I hate most of all the fact so many children fall victim to evil people. Children--the most vulnerable. I have to find a way to help them. Another imbalance is that some think, a lot of culture assumes, because men are physically stronger they don’t need help. emotionally they can need help! It’s healthy to express emotions (in a healthy way) if you’re a human--man or woman. doesn’t make you less manly. this is a fatal flaw in our society (there are many-- I see these all the time. cursed with the ability to see but not to do something...well u can’t change whole culture...). There’s also a thing where....’men can’t be raped’. if they were ‘strong’ enough. that’s a horrible assumption. and it harms them deeply. they shouldn’t have to carry that burden alone, suppress it or people will make fun of them. they’re people. -- this goes for in general, but I was looking at what happens in Ukraine... to women, children and men. rape is a horrible burden but made worse by not being able to share your trauma, suppressing it. Not having people that will support you-- through such a difficult time! this happens to most people who go through such trauma-- but it’s even more so with men, who have to keep up this illusion of masculine ideal (no ideal exists-- no one can live up to them, no one is an exact stereotype). I want to rescue the ones in prison and I want to help the ones who are survivors-- let them know they’re not alone, that it’s NOT their fault. It’s the fault of the evil people who did those things to you. they had you in their power-- how could you reasonably fight back? anyone can be overpowered. especially in a situation of extreme imbalance. don’t blame yourself. (It bothers me so much that people don’t get the help they need. because many make it worse instead of supporting victims! no matter what their gender or age. I’m always on the side of the most vulnerable, the ones who need support the most, the ones who need the help they’re not getting yet. Protection, prevention-- and understanding after)

[sadclowncentral]

shoutout to the guy who after unsuccessfully hitting on my sister and being politely declined asked her "is it okay if i ask your brother instead" and when she said yes gave me a long and searching look before sighing and going "no. i am not drunk enough to go for a dude. but you look like an angel" happy bisexual pride to this man and this man only. hope you figure it out soon king

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

its so brave that you have such a 2012-coded url in this 2024 world

would you call a bear brave for standing in a new construction suburb or would you recognize the unfamiliar world they built around him

[serial-unaliver]

me at work thinking I look nonchalant and approachable

[starridge]

puppet hour was brutal

[sabertoothwalrus]

girldad mode activate

[sam-glade]

My favourite trope has to be:

I sacrificed myself to save you. I didn't plan to survive. I burnt all the bridges. I intended to break your heart with my death, but that would be all right, because I wouldn't be around to see you. I pretended that you'll mourn me for a while and move on. I convinced myself I was going down in the blaze of glory. That my deed was appreciated. That everything was going to be all right afterwards, and I didn't need to be there to see it.

But I survived. And now I have to look you in the eye. I have to pick up the pieces of the life I shattered and figure out how to put it back together. If it can be done at all.

[nariarts]

Spent a ridiculous amount of time last night obsessively editing my hand written zines in Photoshop to take away any tiny blemishes so they were definitely readable.

Whatever. Understand or don't.

[luriuan]

I love how whenever ATLA recognizes Sokka is smart enough to solve a problem but it’d be too fast they just stick him in some kind of situation. Like he COULD’VE stopped jet from drowning a town so they tied him up and dumped him in a forest. He COULD’VE figured out what that spirits deal was so they lost him in the spirit world for 24 hours.

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[beepboopappreciation]

Is this anything

[jellyjamheadobb]

[cork-run]

the names of certain mob-involved trans women have been changed