#IT'S ALWAYS ME
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Round 2
My second ambulance ride in about 2 weeks.... lovely. First one for seizures... now possible blood clots and heart palpitations... I hate this.
Not to mention emt's were joking around saying what I was feeling was "a lot".
No shit, it feels like someone's punching my heart through my diaphragm, tugging on my heart, and flipping it... yeah, "a lot" doesn't even begin to cover it.
I've never been so embarrassed tbh. Like I wasn't even there with operating ears.
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I swear I am the Neville Longbottom of my family.
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#literallly think my life is going down the fucking hill right now#started crying after therapy because i think im not doing enough#and i been having disagreements with my therapy..#*therapist#that's why i cry because it always happens to me#that i desagree with therapist and then i cant trust them totally#i just start to get quite and barely say anything#or worst i fucking explode and miss the point completely#it's always me#always#i just loose it completly and end up regretting everything i said#oh there's also the part that my parents look at my relationship as damn joke#and i have a job interview tomorrow for smth that i dont even know where the hell to start#bpd is hitting cause im getting stressed to the point of being agressive and rude#and the only thing that keeps me calm is my gf who i cant see as often as i would like to#oh and also i have to take my driver's licence and study for arts exam ndxt year even tho i dont have a background in arts cause i learnt#on my own#so i dont fucking know where even to start#everything is getting overwhelming.....
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in all timelines in all possibilities only you can show me this
#artists on tumblr#Arcane#jayvik#Jayce Talis#Viktor#arcane spoilers#my art#I saw That Shot (you know the one) and my brain broke with how beautiful it was#and then I was like wait those colors... oh my god what if...#aaaand I've always wanted to draw the klimt kiss ref#looks like these two were the ones who got it in the end hah#but phew this tested me in so many ways with figuring things out
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shoutout to the guy who after unsuccessfully hitting on my sister and being politely declined asked her "is it okay if i ask your brother instead" and when she said yes gave me a long and searching look before sighing and going "no. i am not drunk enough to go for a dude. but you look like an angel" happy bisexual pride to this man and this man only. hope you figure it out soon king
#interestingly not the most harrowing thing that happened tonight no that was#getting recognized from a podcast. i hope that never happens to me again thats so fucking scary#fuck me and my wretched life why do i always end up exisiting in the public eye while detesting the consequences
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Taking the DIES key to the OMEN room
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its so brave that you have such a 2012-coded url in this 2024 world
would you call a bear brave for standing in a new construction suburb or would you recognize the unfamiliar world they built around him
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puppet hour was brutal
#this was a part of a comic i sketched as a warmup but it was too many panels so im posting this on its own#gravity falls#the book of bill#mabel pines#stanford pines#that one page gave me hope that ford trusts mabel and treats her better than he did in the show#cuz man it always made me so mad watching the show#like iknow its the point that ford thinks he and dipper are just like... better and smarter#not that he doesnt like mabel#but like idk!!!!! idk!!!!!!!!!!#the book of bill is redeeming ford a bit 2 me
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girldad mode activate
#I'd trust him to buy me pads#at home he'd always have clean pads ready in case#they're not for him to use. if he's trans his ass is in menopause#chilchuck tims#dungeon meshi#izutsumi#comic#my art
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Sun is always the calm one. While the Moon has more fps, always moves and wants to gnaw on walls, pace around and destroy timelines, the Sun is the one who prevents the chaos, usually by doing nothing. Or at least that's how I see them.
#art#oc#yourenotsupposedtobehere#ynstbh#blender3d#I think these two characters come directly from my experience - i always more active at night as well#i mean you too can't exist when there's so much pressure from sun it gives you a headache and pain in all muscles? no??? just me???
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Spent a ridiculous amount of time last night obsessively editing my hand written zines in Photoshop to take away any tiny blemishes so they were definitely readable.
Whatever. Understand or don't.
#I can't always read hyper-neat cursive. Doctors get away with being worse than me.#I'm allowed to be messy#nariart#1 sheet zine#mini zine#8 page zine#zines#zine#Taking time to write slowly enough to be understood was a special kind of torture in school.#My brain was going 100 km/h and I couldn't keep up and also be legible.#Now I can take my time and take breaks. But I still have that little voice in my head.#narizine#nariwrites
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one thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn is "sometimes when people say things, they will not be true."
I used to tell people about this revelation and they'd be like yeah.....duh.....but like, why wouldn't my base assumption be that you're communicating to me in a straightforward manner. anyway, I get scammed a lot.
#example: a 'friend' in middle school told me I should ask a guy out. she said 'he'll totally say yes'.#he did not. which was the obvious outcome#but it took me years to realize that she'd said that hoping to fuel some drama for her own entertainment.#ANOTHER EXAMPLE#a guy in college approached me saying that he'd been seeing me around campus but was always too shy to talk to me#and that he really wanted to get to know me#so I was like wow 🥺 romance 🥺 and hopped into bed with him#and afterward I was like what do you wanna do 😊 should we see a movie 😊 should we go out 😊#and he was like nope. byeeee.#and I realized I got bamboozled into sex#total shocked pikachu face#I'm still not the best at this tbh. I'm like 'why would this person lie to me. lying is bad'.#anyway this is why I not looking forward to entering the dating world again#DONT BAMBOOZLE ME I'M GULLIBLE
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(look at what i have to offer) — this is the spider's nest.
#wild life smp#grian#<- is that really... his tag...?#grian fanart#life series smp#wanted to also make him wear skizz's tie specifically bec i hc he cant tie it properly himself so its always lopsided#perhaps later on he then wraps it around his fist#anyway this was A LOT . simpler in my head. never again will i draw rails#eydidraws#my art#trafficblr#mcyt#self indulgent drawing for me . maybe ill post the original sillier sketches later :'D#also kinda failed but i wanted to give the illusion of 8 legs so shadow-arm-sleeve-coat (left) / shadow-arm-shadow-coat (right)#* extra edit for clarification: yes my wl! grian is wearing mumbo's jacket (all the rips) and skizz's tie (unharmed since he fell) :D#maybe when they resurrect next time ill draw them without it lmao
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the names of certain mob-involved trans women have been changed
#i should do more dumb comics from My Life#i just always forget the funny things lol#also they take very little time since i put very little effort in uwu#also im not short my mom is just like 6 ft 2 leave me
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Odysseus: Penelope I am not the same person you fell in love with, I have done terrible things to get home. I understand if you can’t accept the monstrous things I have done-
Penelope: cool, could you please move this wedding bed
Odysseus: what, no!
Penelope: that’s my husband
Odysseus: Penelope I have killed so many
Penelope: I don’t give a shit
Odysseus: I sacrificed my crew-
Penelope: And I would’ve done the same
Odysseus: I am covered in the blood of the suitors
Penelope: and you look fantastic
Odysseus: I TORTURED A GOD ON HIS OWN WEAPON
Penelope: and that was incredibly sexy of you
#epic the musical#Odysseus: I am not the man you fell in love with#Penelope: L + Ratio + Don’t tell me you’re not the same person + You're always my husband and I've been waiting
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TADC SPOILERS AHEAD!! //
don't forget
#episode made me sad... many thoughts... gummigoo you will always be famous#tadc spoilers#the amazing digital circus spoilers#the amazing digital circus#tadc#pomni#do i tag as gummigoo.... well... he's there in spirit??#gummigoo#my art
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