#IT'S ALMOST AUTISM
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Round 1 Part 1
#autism#polls#tournament#autismsummit2024#donatello hamato#rottmnt#l lawliet#death note#trying to fix some tagging/naming inconsistencies with the new season#also this match almost tied in season 1 lol i did not remember
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my therapist: how are you feeling in the wake of your (autism spectrum disorder) diagnosis?
me: well it makes sense doesn’t it? i was the one who requested testing. like on some level i kind of figured.
my therapist: yes, i’m personally glad we pursued it because it helps me better understand parts of your behavior and how to accommodate you. but how do you feel about it? you said before that you were in heavy denial about the possibility when you were younger.
me: well yeah, i had a preconceived idea of what autism was that i know now wasn’t true. but at the time it was distressing and i didn’t want to think about it too hard.
my therapist: how was it different then? what was your idea of autism then?
me: it was, you know, severe developmental delay. i never thought i had developed abnormally at all, so to try and match up the severity i associated with autism and the way i viewed myself, i just couldn’t.
my therapist: but you did.
me: sorry?
my therapist: you did develop abnormally. both socially and academically.
me: socially yes, but i had no problems with academics. i always especially excelled at reading comprehension, more so than anyone else in my grade. i started lagging in high school but i think that was a lot of burnout and depression and ptsd, probably. i was incredibly smart. hell, i spoke in full sentences earlier than most of my peers.
my therapist: violette, that’s still abnormal development.
me: …huh?
my therapist: developing abnormally fast is still developing abnormally.
me:
me: oh.
#nothing in our sessions has ever hit me as hard as that#it was almost a year ago now and i still think about it#i’ve never had one of those ‘moments of clarity’ in therapy outside of this#but god damn did i have to sit with it for a bit#developing abnormally fast is still developing abnormally#jesus Christ ellen#actually autistic#actually asd#hashtag autism posting#autism#autistic adult#autistic feels
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#because I just opened yogurt that had wet snotty fruit chunks in it and almost threw up#ok so all of these may be personal to me with the way I describe them#nerodivergent#neurodivergent#nerodiversity#neurodiversity#neurodiverse stuff#audhd#autism#actually autistic#adhd#actually audhd#audhd things#audhd problems#autistic things#actually adhd#neurodivergence#adhd problems#adhd things
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WHEEEEEE
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#i drew this insteabd of payong attention to class. Sorry.#And am posting it while i wait for the bus. I ha e sleey disease#SLEEPY.#emu otori from um . fortntie#Rhebusihesjehr THE BUS IS HERE BYYE#edit ok im back waiting for my transfer BROTHER. THE ANNIVIERYUAEYH it got me so fucked up prsk you crazy son of a gun#I THINK THE NEW OUTFITS ARE RLLY CUTE MIKU SOOOO KITTY#im almost done with all of my commsni dont think i will open them again this semester. or next. summer. Im sho tired#my assignments r fun but theyre like big. Theyrbe large#my prof said he was gonna make us make fur/sonas for an assignment hut didnt want to get fired. dont be a coward#proseka autism is killinng me i cant lie WHY IS DARKNESS FESTA TIERING SO FUCKING CRAZY#IVE NEVER EVER SEEN THE 10K CUTOFF REACH A MILLION POINTS ON EN. USUALLY WE SLACK SO HARD. COME ON#im so sleepy and have things to do please sotp it AND CURTAINCALL IM GONNA BE SICK I CANT TRHJNK ABOUT IT
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bethesda works fast but i work faster
#fallout#snag.art#fallout tv series#fallout tv show#wilzig#wilzig fallout#finding reference images for all of these was HELL. HELL.#me and my gf watched up to the third episode and i had a genuine autism attack i could not stay still and be normal#and i really loved wilzig of all people#wilzig and the ghoul. my babes. expect ghoul art soon#if u have any fallout tv series requests pls send them i will almost certiantly draw them#avoiding my finals just to watch this
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Hiccup should let Toothless stick his paws/claws in paint then give him a big sheet of paper to let him reach his full artistic potential
#as much as i dont like thw have u noticed he got better at drawing???#bros been practicing...#hes got thr soul of an artist guys this is part of why he and hiccup get along so well#ive said this before but i feel like hiccup is more interested in drafting and improvement mostly for#documenting dragons (also i think he'd make portaits of his friends) but otherwise isnt too ambitious when it comes to his art.#toothless however...#hiccup doing studies on night fury intelligence by asking toothless to draw things hes seen#httyd#hiccup and toothless#toothless#moth.txt#almost typed autistic instead. whoops. dragon autism W actually#deyas dragons
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despite his initial rough impression, lqg gets a "fun" rating on the gege scale
#arts#mottau#dragging lqg into the autism to autism communication array#sy thinks he is so cool actually. but he will fiercely deny it if you say so#lmao stupid little baby crush#he has! a cool sword! and hes fought so many monsters! and hes called the Bai Zhan WAR GOD#and also is more lax than his other geges in letting him do stuff that toes the line of things he shouldnt be allowed to do yet#such as you know imitating sword forms when he's not supposed to touch cultivation or combat for another year#in lqg's mind theres no reason he cant practice the forms. and also he doesnt even have a practice sword let alone a real one#he will get yelled at later#can you tell that i read dun meshi and it irreversibly changed the way i draw silly little autistic smiles. bc i sure fucking can#anyways releasing this from containment since im almost done the next chapter. incentive (for myself)
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Had this “Steve only hates impersonal nicknames” idea in my notes for a while and then after seeing @cholvoq ‘s wonderful art I had to turn it into a real thing for Valentine’s Day. This is 2.4k, i’m SO sorry edit: you can now read this on ao3 :)
Eddie’s a nickname guy. It’s always Dusty this and Gare-Bear that and JeffJeff here and Bobbie there and it’s Mikey and Maxxii and Nance-pants and Johnny and… big boy?
Him being a nickname guy makes it near impossible to hide his crushes. Thankfully, Steve had been really cool about it. Sure, he seemed a little stunned, but Eddie still had all his teeth in place by the end of that interaction, so he had called that a win.
He hadn’t known then that Steve was… different. Or he was starting to see it but what he thought was shocking then had really been just the tip of the iceberg. He hadn’t expected Steve to be nice. Or funny, or caring, or protective, or understanding.
He had learned all of that after everything. During chats on Hellfire nights while the kids cleaned up after themselves, during hangouts at the diner with Robin and Nancy, during Saturday afternoons when he went to pick out a movie only to end up talking with Steve, their conversation flowing until it was cut short by Steve’s shift ending.
After some time, Eddie had gotten to know Steve even more during long weekday nights when one came over to bring the other something they left behind, or to share a record, or to demand the beers the other owes or to show the other a stupid article in a stupid magazine only to end up making dinner together and watching a movie afterwards.
They stopped making excuses about two weeks ago.
Eddie had asked “do youuu… wanna come over?” on Saturday night, while nervously twirling his keys as Steve locked the front doors of the Family Video.
The evening chill had cut right through Eddie’s leather jacket as his keys clanged against his rings. But Steve had nodded with a smile and asked “pizza?” on their way to their cars, and Eddie had forgotten all about the cold.
Point being, Steve had been just fine with ‘big boy’ when it happened. Eddie’s a nickname guy. Him and Steve are hanging out more now, and so, Eddie’s been calling him more nicknames. Some of them are very intentional, others come completely without thinking, and it turns out, Steve takes issue with a few of them.
The first time it happens, Eddie’s underneath his van trying to get the damn thing to cooperate, the recent winter was tough on it, and it keeps dying out on him.
Steve sits nearby perched on a little stool, wearing his Family Video vest since he came by right after finishing his morning shift to see if they could make plans for lunch. Eddie suggested they grab something at the diner if and when he finally gets the van to start back up and Steve had agreed to wait.
He’s been telling Eddie about tonight’s basketball- game? match? super bowl? Is there such a thing as the major leagues of basketball? Eddie’s not sure, but he adores the sound of Steve’s voice and he’s kind of invested in the drama of players switching teams and retiring and whatever else Steve wants to tell him about. So, he’s been listening, not really bothering with asking for clarification for what he doesn’t understand yet. He’ll figure it out as they go.
He's blindly patting the floor around his legs for his rag, when he feels Steve put it right in his hand.
Eddie’s relieved. "Thanks, bud!" he says, the nickname just rolling off his tongue effortlessly, no meaning attached.
It gets kind of quiet all of a sudden. After about five seconds of Steve not talking, Eddie comes out to check on him, and finds him frowning at his legs.
"Don't call me ‘bud’" Steve requests, looking up at his face, his tone just a tad harsh. Eddie would think he ran into King Steve if he didn't know any better.
As it is, Eddie gets Steve probably thinks the nickname is childish or patronizing, so he doesn’t think twice of it, just gets a little sheepish and says "sorry, Stevie".
Steve smiles at that, a little cocky. He does his little mean girl shaking his head thing like he just got exactly what he wanted. Eddie feels his face twist a bit in confusion, but he likes it when Steve gets a little mean so he doesn't say anything about it and just dives back under his van as Steve resumes their conversation.
The second time it happens, they’re outside the supermarket. The kids shot out of the van as soon as it rolled to a stop, Steve calling out a warning after them while still listening to Eddie explain why Star Wars and Star Trek are actually very different but really good in their own way. Their conversation carries on as they hop out of the van, lock up and walk to meet at the front.
“I’m telling you, Star Trek is great. You would love it,” Eddie says, “you just have to give it a chance”.
Steve rolls his eyes at him, but Eddie can see his smile.
“Ok, alright,” Steve answers, “you can show me tonight then”, it’s almost too nonchalant. Eddie has to hide his grin.
Steve’s been suggesting they hang out more and more lately, and he can’t help but feel a bit hopeful. They clearly enjoy each other’s company, their time together is never dull, Steve seems to be really comfortable around him and maybe, just maybe…
“Should we get beers then?” Eddie asks, excited at the prospect of some more time alone with him. They haven’t had a weeknight hangout since Eddie fixed his van last week. He kinda misses the very specific color of Steve’s eyes in the Harringtons’ yellow living room lamplight.
“Yeah,” Steve says, his eyes get soft in a way Eddie only started noticing a couple of weeks back, “we can watch it at my place” he adds. Eddie thinks he definitely hasn’t seen him look at anyone else like that.
To shake himself out of the spell of the prettiest boy he’s ever met making the prettiest eyes he’s ever seen at him and ONLY him, Eddie grabs Steve by the wrist and starts marching them towards the supermarket’s front doors.
Without thinking, Eddie says "c'mon man," as they go.
Steve, who started easily following him (like he always does these days), suddenly stops in his tracks. Eddie gets pulled back and almost stumbles on top of Steve. He'd get flustered if Steve wasn't frowning at him like he’d just said the most insulting thing he’d heard this month.
"Don't call me ‘man’" Steve says. Eddie feels his eyebrows raise a bit.
He debates asking why but doesn't question Steve in the end. He’d rather offer understanding than judgement to him any day.
So, Eddie takes advantage of Steve's wrist in his hand, and squeezes there a bit, says "I'm sorry sweetheart" sincerely, looks into Steve's eyes so he can see Eddie means it.
Steve blushes a bit then, not really used to the nickname yet, Eddie just got the balls to start using it last week. Eddie himself is not really used to seeing Steve blush, and at something he says? It’s too much power for one metalhead.
But he gets distracted from Steve’s blush because it happens again, Steve basically preens like a peacock once Eddie switches nicknames. Looks smug, like he has Eddie wrapped around his finger and well, Eddie guesses he does, so, no arguments there either.
He just smiles back at Steve, really, has no other choice, it’s not like he can control how he reacts to the most gorgeous fucking face the universe could ever come up with. But he tugs him along again, Steve happily following this time.
The next time it happens, Steve’s leaning against his kitchen island, with Eddie leaning across from him against the counter.
The party is watching a movie in the Harringtons’ living room and at some point, Eddie got up to get himself another soda, Steve not so subtly followed after him, taking the empty popcorn bowls to the sink. He struck up a conversation and there they stayed.
Eddie’s been turning the small gesture around and around in his head. Clearly Steve’s not shy about seeking him out, and he’s obviously good with the party knowing, which means a hell of a lot because those are Steve’s people, that’s his family.
Eddie’s honestly running out of excuses to not ask him out. Seeing him reaching out to bump his sneaker against Eddie’s boot when he says something funny, laughing just a little too hard at Eddie’s dumb joke; seeing his eyes widen a bit when Eddie compliments him; seeing him notice when Eddie is holding back from talking too much, and not letting it go until he thinks Eddie’s shared all of his opinions on the subject; Eddie thinks maybe he can be brave, when it comes to Steve.
And this week might be the perfect time.
Here they are still, the movie long ended and several easy conversations floating from the living room to the kitchen, where they’re still engrossed on their own.
“I mean I taught the kid how to do his hair for god’s sake!” Steve is saying, Eddie’s laughing easily, and he has a slight suspicion Steve’s acting way more annoyed than he really is because he knows Eddie dies laughing every time Steve roasts the kids.
“Just, if he’s gonna give me hair advice, he should work on that goddamn tone. At the Very Least.” Steve finishes, Eddie giggling all the while at his Annoyed Mom tone.
"Yeah, dude!" Eddie agrees, wanting to egg him on, but Steve's face suddenly falls and whatever remark Eddie had locked and loaded just fades away.
Eddie blinks perplexed; he’s getting déjà vu.
Steve frowns at him, says "Don't call me ‘dude’".
It’s eerie, only he sounds a bit annoyed this time.
Eddie thinks, maybe someone called Steve ‘dude’ before in an unpleasant way, so he doesn't pry. Instead, he takes the chance to call him a nickname he likes more, and says "Sorry, pretty boy", his heart fluttering in the milliseconds he has to wait for Steve’s reaction.
And it happens one last time: Steve absolutely beams at that one, his smile so bright it makes Eddie want to jump in place.
He leans further back on the counter returning the smile, not noticing the common thread in Steve’s reactions to him switching nicknames.
But then the glint in Steve’s eyes suddenly brightens a dim corner of Eddie’s brain. He gets this feeling that reminds him of a perfectly set up riddle or finding that one perfect note for his latest song. It’s like everything suddenly just makes sense.
Eddie feels realization dawn on his face as he pushes himself off the counter to walk right into Steve’s personal bubble, grabs both of Steve's hands.
"Steve" Eddie says, not even caring that he sounds like the name is dripping in honey when it comes out of his mouth. With how sweet Steve is, it might as well be.
Steve just looks at him a little stunned, but doesn't say anything. Eddie draws circles in the back of his palms to reassure him.
"Why don't you want me to call you ‘dude’?" Eddie asks, trying to find out if this whole thing is what he thinks it is.
Steve looks down at their joined hands,.
"You call Nancy that sometimes..." Steve mumbles.
His answer would sound inconsequential to the unsuspecting, certainly would have to Eddie as late as last week, but Eddie thinks he’s finally getting it, and he hums his understanding.
"How ‘bout ‘man’?" he asks
Steve replies "You call Robin that sometimes..." his eyes still on their hands.
Eddie nods his agreement.
"I call everyone those things" he points out.
Steve agrees. "Exactly" he says, finally looking at him again, sounding annoyed and confirming Eddie’s suspicions.
Eddie feels his face split into a smile. He wants to grab Steve’s beautiful freaking face and just plant one on him.
"Can I still call you sweetheart?" he ventures instead. The nickname brings the hint of a smile to Steve's face but then he seems to realize something not so pleasant.
"Do you call someone else ‘sweetheart’?" Steve asks in return.
"No one" Eddie says, shaking his head, his tone vehement.
"Then yes" Steve finally answers. Eddie's heart wants to beat right out of his chest.
He interlocks their fingers to ground himself, Steve looks down at their hands and smiles at the sight.
"So, you don't want me to call you something I call someone else?" Eddie states, more than asks, calling Steve’s eyes back to his again.
"Anyone else" Steve confirms, holding his gaze.
Eddie lets out a small shuddering exhale and feels his heart fluttering in his throat, he really cannot believe this boy.
"Steve" Eddie drawls, dripping in honey again, his hands coming up to cradle Steve's face because he really can't resist anymore "Sweetheart" he says.
Steve's eyes grow a little wide and he starts blushing so much that Eddie can feel it in his palms.
"Steevieeee" Eddie sinsongs, squeezing Steve's face a bit "Pretty boy" Eddie calls him. Steve just keeps looking at him and a small smile blooms in his pretty, pretty face.
"Would you let me take you out to dinner this Friday?" Eddie finally asks him, his fingers curling to the back of Steve's head to play with his hair there. Steve's eyes get even wider.
" 's Valentine's this Friday" he points out. Eddie knows.
"Mmhm. Want you to be my Valentine." Eddie tells him, tugs his hair gently, "How's that sound?" he asks, bold in a way he never has been before. Steve blushing does things to him.
"Sounds nice" Steve answers. He smiles and nods while his hands hook on Eddie's belt loops.
"Then it's a date?" Eddie asks, trying not to sound too eager. He thinks he fails spectacularly but Steve beams and pulls him in to kiss his cheek.
"It's a date" Steve tells him, his breath ghosting on Eddie's cheek and making him shiver.
Steve pulls back, lets go of Eddie’s belt loops and tugs on a strand of his hair gently, smiling like the cat that got the cream as he walks back out into the living room.
Eddie’s gonna make this the best Valentine’s Day date Steve has ever been on.
#steddie#steddie fanfic#steddie fanfiction#steddie headcanon#steddie fic#Steve maybe gets a lil emotional the first time Eddie calls him 'sunshine'#steve harrington#eddie munson#adhd/autism eddie my beloved#fanfic#stranger things#sigh. im not really satisfied with this I wish I could get more of Steve in it#i ESPECIALLY wish it was better so it could live up to that AMAZING ART OMG IM INLOVE WITH IT 😭#but it's almost not Valentines anymore so here#have it#i just want it to leave me alooooneeeeeee#but anyways#i might put it on ao3 later#i just get so embarrassed about my other fics but i also dont wanna orphan them idk#asdfghjkllkjhgf#whatever. good night#i hope your Valentines was nice <3#bossy mean girl princess steve supremacy forever#.
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Hello Tumblr,
I'm back and still in the middle of fuck ass nowhere, so you know what that means, more phone drawings of my favourite old men yaoi
#this took like three hours and i almost ran out of charge in the kiddle of no where for it#i have a few more ideas and ima start taking art requests for these guys blink blink#turnsnout i like the little tippy tappy of my fellow poolverine shippers on my post#Deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#deadpool 3#logan howlett#logan#wade#wade wilson#poolverine#deadclaws#art#digital art#gays#autism#i got fucking possed to draw this#it wasn't even set out to draw#i was going to leave it to tomorrow#but noooooo#well its done#and now my lock screen :D#hope you guys enjoy#pansexual#murderous intent#now to watch Deadpool 2 at midnight that i downloaded on my phone#deadpool x wolverine#wolverine x deadpool
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When I was about 14 I thought Endermen were so cool and I'd give them tragic Greek backstories and I wanted to be their friend so bad. They're just existing. They don't like eye contact. They hold blocks just because they can and destroy public property like the god intended. They get overwhelmed and rampage out of their control and probably wonder why there's blood on their hands.
#If this guy is not autism coded I don't know what it is#stimming sounds? dont look at me or I'll freak out? pretty blocks?#i can create so many stories#i have so many thoughts now#endermen#who's interested? probably no one BUT DAMN IT#minecraft art#minecraft#i cant believe im posting minecraft art#after all these years...#minecraft endermen#minecraft fanart#mc#almost a shitpost but not quite#sketches#doodles#doodle skadoodle
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#Cricket chirping#Marine life#Marine biology#Autism#Almost everyone I know that's on the spectrum has been interested in fish at some point
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Happy disability pride month to disabled people who even other disabled people can't seem to be normal about in particular.
Happy disability pride month to people with paralytic disorders, people with moderate to severe brain damage and people with IDs.
Happy disability pride month to people with facial and limb differences, people with congenital deformities and people with extensive scarring.
Happy disability pride month to people who experience incontinence, people who drool, people with colostomy bags, people with feeding tubes and people with ventilation machines.
Happy disability pride month to people who struggle to or cannot bathe or keep their home clean, people who are fat either because of their disability or not, people who rely on takeout and pre-packaged meals, people who can't exercise, people who smoke, drink or take drugs and people who aren't "doing everything they can" when it comes to managing their disability.
Happy disability pride month to schizospec people, people who experience psychosis, people with stigmatised personality disorders and other widely misunderstood, misrepresented or unknown mental health disorders.
You're all amazing and I'm proud of you even if you're struggling to be proud of yourself. You deserve to be represented, heard and treated with respect. You deserve to be included in discussions about disability just as much as everyone else.
#disability pride month#cripplepunk#madpunk#actually disabled#disability#I know I almost definitely missed some people so feel free to add in tags or reblogs!#Just please don't add stuff like hEDS‚ autism‚ ADHD‚ etc.#It's not that your disability is important it's just that it's very well accepted and represented within the disabled community#and that's not what this is about#1k
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i like how she just clocks shuichi as the type of kid to sit out during PE. i bet he did.
#i bet shuichi was one of those scrawny little bookworm nerds who sat out of pe almost every class (like me.)#the salmon team responses are so funny they just say shit#theyre allowed to let their autism flourish#danganronpa#drv3#kaede akamatsu#shuichi saihara
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#can you believe i almost put a str**ght couple here??#unforgivable#autism#autistic#actually autistic#autism memes#affirmations#autism affirmation#audhd
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Mum: what are you going to do at work if plans change last minute??? Are you not going to do the new plans?? Are you just going to sit and be upset like you are now
Me, having an autistic meltdown: y e s.
Mum: Well there are a million other FUNCTIONING people out there who can do your job. The real world doesn’t care about your autism
Me: *omg finally she understands that autism is a disability and it’s hard to function for me in this society that doesn’t accommoda-*
Mum: So you better GROW UP and LEARN and CHANGE into one of those FUNCTIONING members of society real quick
Me: *so close.*
#don’t you just love mommy issues#that is not how autism works#wouldn’t you believe it#I can’t magically change nt at her please#it’s almost like autism is a disability#haha#ha.#mommy issues#autism#actually autistic#autistic adult#disability
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theyre so funny. manspreading x daintily crossed legs a dynamic of all time to me spencer's his little guy they're carrying him around in their pocket so he can see the world
#spourtney#smoshblr#hilarious i could write a thesis on this its their natural state of being.#hot baddie w the soul of a loserboy and loserboy that sits on her lap like a cat. i believe that#also spencer w his favorite jacket in almost all of these the autism is strong in this one#smosh rpf
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