#IT’S BETTER THAN THAT CRAPPY NETFLIX ONE THEY RELEASED LAST YEAR
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Still on the mood to do more FE Echoes VA… (skipping over Valbar and Kamui's since theirs has been covered)
What do you think of Mick Wingert? He plays Jesse, Arden, Jorge and is also Inigo/Laslow.
Well, Tumblr deleted my post while I was in the process of typing it, all because I switched to a new window.
Cool, Tumblr. Very cool. :/
ANYWAYS, I love Mick! Besides the fact that he voices those guys (wasn’t actually aware he voiced Jesse! It’s been a while since I’ve checked the VA pages), first time I found out about him was his role taking over as Po for Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness; the dude is INSANELY talented at sounding like Jack Black! And aside from his incredible impression, Mick’s a genuinely talented VA in his own right, but I’ll get more into that in the review.
Mick’s performance as his characters are all incredibly well done; I think I like his Arden voice the most because the tone fluctuations in his voice are so much fun, especially his “But please, don’t call me slow!” He has so much energy in his voice, and honestly we need an Arden alt so we can hear more of Mick’s Arden voice. And I will acknowledge that yes, Mick took over Inigo/Laslow from Liam O’Brien and that is a VERY hard thing to do as an actor (especially with how Liam’s “purr” to his voice made Inigo sound unique). But I also think he still does a great performance for Inigo, he doesn’t sound flat or boring or bad, he’s lively and charming still. Jeorge is also well-voiced as well, though I’ve never really built him. He’s got that “noble air” to his voice.
I think he fits everybody, and I think that he was a good pick to take over for Inigo. It’s not easy being a VA taking over someone else’s role, and it can be hit or miss but I think Mick was a hit.
Is there range? YES there is range. Between Arden and Inigo, you wouldn’t even be able to tell they were voiced by the same actor. And like I mentioned before, this guy has tricked people multiple times with his Jack Black impression. He’s very talented.
Overall, I’d give Mick a 9, maybe even a 10/10. Really fun actor and it’s such a shame that Arden doesn’t have an alt yet. At least Inigo is still getting alts though.
#Fire Emblem Heroes#FEH#ask game#Mick Wingert#Man Legends of Awesomeness was a legitimately good show#IT’S BETTER THAN THAT CRAPPY NETFLIX ONE THEY RELEASED LAST YEAR#LIKE IN EVERY SINGLE WAY
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Brilliant
A Doctor Who–Destiel–Malec Oneshot
"This is brilliant!" the Doctor exclaims. She pushes some buttons on the console of the TARDIS. "Brilliant!"
"How is this 'brilliant'?" Alec asks. "We're trapped in a TV show."
"No, we are trapped in a TV series, Shadowhunter," Yaz hisses.
Castiel huffs in frustration. "It's probably just one of Gabriel's stupid jokes."
"Gabriel?" the Doctor asks. "Oh, the Archangel. Amy loved him, but not as much as she loved you, Cass."
"Where do you know his name from?" Dean demands to know.
The Doctor rolls her eyes. "I watched the show, Dean. Crappy ending, sorry."
"You... what!?" Dean asks.
"Nevermind. That's more brain-wracking than the usual time travel paradoxes. But I'm thrilled to meet you all. Umm—what are you doing, Magnus?" She raises an eyebrow at the warlock who lets his magic run over the console.
"This is worse than the technology in the Institute," he mutters.
Alec pulls him away cautiously. "Maybe you shouldn't mess with it then, love?" he suggests, smiling strained, holding tight on his husband's hand.
"Aww, you're the reboot version. I was so happy when Netflix saw sense. And your boys are the cutest," the Doctor chirps.
"Boys?" Magnus asks.
"Doctor, they might be from episode one of season four. Look at their clothes," Yaz whispers, but it's loud enough for Dean to hear it.
"There are only three seasons of Shadowhunters," he states. "It ends when they marry and Clary loses her memories, but gets them back in the last few seconds. It wasn't the best ending, but at least the gays were happy." Dean's grin reaches from ear to ear before it falters at Castiel's stern look.
"Dean, did you watch 3b without me?"
Dean shrugs. "If you wouldn't always run out on me or die then we coulda watched it. It was on my playlist for aeons. And I needed something to distract me from… You know." He waves his hand up and down the angel.
"Jesus! That's like that time when Sam and I were in this weird Hollywood dimension, with that Russian guy that looked like Cass!"
"Wait!" Magnus says. "I watched Doctor Who for six decades and Supernatural for fifteen years—I agree, Doctor, the 'finale' was crap. But if you all know us from a show called Shadowhunters, then we must be in some kind of dimension that morphs everything into a TV series that everyone else has watched."
The Doctor claps her hands together. "The French mistake—one of my favourites!"
"No, Russian." Dean shakes his head and rolls his eyes. He always loved the Doctor and was excited for a woman to take over the role, but he thinks he might have been able to live without her enthusiasm about their little get together. They have a world to save, after all.
"Chuck has a strange sense of humour, but that doesn't sound like one of his interventions," Alec states. "Why would he put us all in the TARDIS?"
"What do we all have in common?" Dean asks.
"We're kinda humans," Alec says.
"Time Lady."
"Angel."
"Warlock. And you're not fully human either, Alexander."
The shadowhunter chews his lips.
"But you three have some kind of mojo," Dean supplies.
The Doctor furrows her brow. "You're right. Cass has grace, Magnus magic, and timelord technology is so highly evolved, it could be seen as magical. If there is a—" she trails off and points her sonic screwdriver first at the warlock then at the angel. Then she listens to her ship. "You're right," she says and putters about the console.
"Care to fill us in?" Alec asks.
The Doctor pushes a button and a high-pitched sound makes them all cover their ears. "Gotcha!"
"What?" Castiel asks.
"I know what we have in common. We all have a fam. You've got the SPN family, and you," she turns to Alec and Magnus, "your fans call themselves shadowfam. And I?" She smiles brightly. "I have Yaz, Graham, and Ryan."
"You agreed on team TARDIS, Doctor," Magnus reminds her.
"Still, feels like fam to me." She shrugs. "So…" She quirks her lips in thought. "Some blood magic, maybe?"
"But family doesn't end in blood," Dean argues.
"Right, Bobby taught you that. Wish the showrunners remembered that in season 15," Alec murmurs. Dean gives him a strange side look.
"Is something wrong, Dean?"
"Nah, Cass," he says and pulls his gaze from the intertwined hands of the Lightwood-Banes. "So, maybe some rune thingy?"
Alec pulls a face. "Could turn Yaz and you into forsakens. Maybe even the Doctor. Better not."
"Can't you just put the coordinates in and throw us out in the bunker. Or in front of it? No idea if the warding would keep the TARDIS out or not." Dean frowns.
"Wouldn't work," Magnus says. "If this dimension, or whatever it is, thinks that we are all fictional, then the coordinates can't bring us into our worlds. We might end up in your dimension. I like our vampires better."
"Awesome!" Dean groans.
Magnus curls his fingers around his chin in deep thought. "I could summon a dimension demon, but they usually demand things one would rather die than do."
"Like what?" Castiel asks.
"The last time I had to pay one, he wanted me to drink seelie wine."
"Doesn't sound too bad," Dean says.
"You've never had seelie wine. That stuff is worse than the touch of a Djinn." Dean whistles in acknowledgement.
"Could still be worth it. I mean we need to get back to our friends, and yours are surely waiting, too," Yaz supplies.
"The TARDIS is stuck in this dimension, Doc?" Alec asks.
"Yes. Positive."
"Then we should begin," Magnus says, conjuring chalks. "We all will be home soon."
***
They stand in a circle around the pentagram drawn on the floor of the TARDIS.
"We must initiate a bond. Once this bond is sealed,..." Magnus starts.
"...it cannot be broken until the demon retreats," Castiel ends his sentence and smiles softly at Alec, who blushes fiercely.
"Well, this time, I won't be the one who'll break it in a gay panic," he huffs. Yaz snickers.
Dean furrows his brow, ignoring Castiel eyeing him. He recites the summoning spell together with Magnus and the Doctor. Green flames rise in their midst. They aren't hot, but their sight hurts the eyes. A deep growl speaks to them, and Castiel turns pale.
"I haven't heard this demonic dialect in a while," he calls over the noises. "Did he say what I think he said?"
Magnus worries his lip between his teeth. "I think he did."
"I can't."
"What, Cass. What does he ask for? Give it to him. It can't be that bad," Dean shouts.
"It isn't. At least not for me." Castiel looks at the Doctor. "Any Supernatural sequels you've seen by any chance?"
"No, sorry. I got stuck at the Destiel YouTube vids. Didn't get around to checking future releases. But you two always reminded me of Rose and me, you know?" She looks sad at the memory of her lost love.
"No. A human doppelgänger won't do," Castiel says firmly. He says something in the demon's tongue and gets a rumble in reply.
Magnus nods at him. "My magic can hold the circle. But hurry."
The others stare at them. "Why doesn't the TARDIS translate his words?" Yaz asks.
"This demon is too old," the Doctor says. "Even older than evil itself. No one speaks this language anymore but angels and demon-blooded ones, as it seems."
"Lucky me, huh?" Castiel presses out. He lets go of Magnus' hand and turns to Dean. The warlock holds the gap with his magic. "I know how you see yourself, Dean…"
"We don't have time for the whole death speech. Fast forward," Magnus hisses, clearly struggling to hold the bond.
Castiel frowns at him but nods. He turns his face back to Dean. "I'm sorry. I know you never wanted that to happen. It's simply what the demon demands. It doesn't have to mean anything, okay?"
"What are you talking about, man?"
Castiel smiles at him. "I love you." And then he leans in and kisses him. It's chaste but after a moment of shock, Dean returns the kiss, and his hand cards through Castiel's hair. Thunder booms around them and dense fog separates the different duos. The demon disappears with a screeching noise and when the fog thins out, the places where the two couples were standing are empty.
"It worked!" the Doctor rejoices. Yaz grins at her. "Let's get to the boys."
"No, Mulder, this isn't a UFO. It's surely just a high-quality film set," a redhead in pantsuit and coat says as she strolls into the room.
"Scully!" the Doctor cheers. "Brilliant!"
#fandom fusion#doctor who#shadowhunters#supernatural#destiel#malec#deancas#metafiction#crack taken seriously
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Are you still in quarantine/under stay at home order? (if you're taking this during Covid-19, that is) The state isn’t, but I am.
Has stuff been opening back up where you are? Yeah. Although, now dining in isn’t an option again in my area.
What have you missed most that you haven't been able to do due to Covid-19? I didn’t do much even before all this, but I did like going grocery shopping with my mom and going to the movies, which we did quite often. And now with it being summer I’m really sad I can’t go to the beach. Beach days were the only thing I liked about summer. I could still go shopping with my mom and go to the beach, but I just don’t feel safe or comfortable going out in public and being around people right now when the number of cases are still so high and continue to rise. It makes me extremely anxious and scared. It doesn’t help that my state is a hotspot.
What state do you live in? California.
Do you personally know anyone who has had Covid-19? Yes. She actually ended up recovering from that, testing negative later on, but she died recently from complications caused by it. She was on dialysis and after she got sick, even though she got better, it affected her kidneys and she had to stop dialysis. Once that happens, it’s not long after that you pass away. She was my grandma’s best friend, thus a very close family friend. :( She was the sweetest, caring, kindhearted person.
Have you had it? (or think you might have?) No, not so far. Although, whenever I feel crappy or cough for any reason my mind automatically goes there. It’s not unusual for me not to feel well and have days where I’m feeling extra crappy, but nowadays I have to play the game: is it my normally crappiness or something else? :/ I also have dry mouth and my throat tends to get dry in the summer anyway and ugh again it’s something normal for me but I have to wonder about that, too.
Do you know anyone who is a healthcare worker? No. Well, apart from my doctors obviously.
Have you still been working these past few months or not? I don’t have a job. I wasn’t working prior to this either.
If you weren't working, are you still in school? No, thankfully. I graduated UC 5 years ago, so I’ve been done way before this started. What is/was your major in college? I majored in psych.
Or if you're not in college yet, what do you want to study?
If your school closed due to Covid-19, do you miss it?
What are you most excited about when life goes (somewhat) back to normal? It’s hard for me to even see that point right now. I know people think I sound like a Negative Nancy, but I think I’m just being real. It’s goings to be a long time before we get to a point where we don’t have to have this virus looming over our heads everyday. It’s been kicking our ass. It’s never going to go away, it will likely be like the flu in that we have a covid season, but I pray we get to the point where we can get under control and managed. A point where there’s a vaccine and effective medication. But like I said, that’s going to take time. Masks may be the new way of life for many of us.
Did Covid-19 impact any major plans you had for this spring/summer? No beach trips or birthday vacay. :( That’s not important, I know, but I am still sad about it.
Do you collect anything? Key chains and giraffe stuffed animals and knicknacks.
What's the name of your favorite restaurant? (chain or local) Wingstop.
What is your favorite thing to order when you eat there? I get takeout, but anyway I love their boneless garlic parm and lemon pepper wings with their ranch.
Have you still been able to get food from there during Covid-19? Yes. I always got takeout anyway, so that hasn’t been any different for me.
Are you planning on eating there anytime soon when they reopen? I’ll say it a 3rd time haha I just get it to go and eat at home.
Have you discovered any good new music during quarantine? Yeah, but not because I’m in quarantine. That implies I’ve done so because I’ve been home and had more time to do so or only did so because I didn’t have anything to do. I’ve spent most of my time at home the past few years, not just this year.
What's a new song you've been loving lately? (not necessarily newly released, just something you've recently discovered) Lately I’ve been getting new music from TikToks. A couple recent ones are Dream Girl by Ir Sais and Summer Days by Martin Garrix ft. Macklemore and Patrick Stump.
Have you been able to keep in touch with friends during this time? I don’t have any friends, so that hasn’t been an issue.
What is your favorite Starbucks drink? White chocolate mocha, caramel macchiato, and their fall and winter seasonal drinks.
Do you prefer Starbucks or a local coffee shop? Just give me coffeeee.
What was your favorite TV show when you were a kid? do you still ever watch it? I had a lot of favorites. Some I still watch like Boy Meets World, Full House, Family Matters, Disney Channel shows like That’s So Raven, Lizzie McGuire, The Proud Family, Hannah Montana, etc (thanks to Disney+) and old Nick shows like Rugrats, Doug, and Hey Arnold. I recently found out Hulu has Step by Step, so I’ll be watching that again at some point.
Have you been watching a lot of movies during quarantine? >> No more than I would be usually, since my daily life didn’t change as dramatically as most people’s did. But yeah. <<< Yeah, I’ve gotten into a few new shows and binge watched a few old ones during this time, but again I wouldn’t contribute that to quarantine cause I would have been home majority of the time still anyway.
What is your favorite Disney movie? Alice in Wonderland, Winnie the Pooh, and Toy Story are among the top
Do you have Disney plus? Yep. That’s how I watch those old Disney shows I mentioned before.
Are you a fan of Hamilton? I’ve never seen it.
Are you planning to watch Hamilton on Disney plus? I have thought about checking it out, so we’ll see.
Have you seen Hamilton live? (Broadway or elsewhere) Like I said, I’ve never seen it.
What is your favorite musical? Sweeney Todd.
Have you watched any musicals online recently? No. Or ever.
What was the last live performance you went to before quarantine? I saw Phantom of the Opera 3 years ago.
What was the best concert you've ever been to? All the concerts I went to were awesome. Man, it’s been over 10 years now since my last concert I really miss ‘em.
Do you volunteer anywhere? No. I’ve volunteered at a few places in the past, though.
What is your favorite movie on Netflix? >> ??? There are... so many movies on Netflix. <<<
Did you relocate due to Covid-19? No.
What is one positive thing about the past few months for you? Uhhh.
Do you prefer streaming music or buying it? I stream it.
Do you use Spotify? Yep.
What was the last book you read? I recently started The Girl and the Deadly End by AJ Rivers. It’s the final book in a 7 book series.
Have you been baking during quarantine? Nope.
What is your favorite thing to bake? It’s been a few years since I’ve done any baking. I used to love it during the holidays.
Do you enjoy doing crafts? I think they can be fun, but they’re not something I do very often at all. I lack the artistic ability, creativity, inspiration, motivation, and energy.
Have you ever done crafts for money? No.
Do you shop on Etsy? Yes. I love Etsy.
Have you ever sold anything on Etsy? Nope.
What song are you listening to right now? I’m not listening to music, I’m listening to an ASMR video.
What genre of music is your favorite? I like a variety of music.
Can you speak any foreign languages? Not fluently, but I know some Spanish.
What is/was your favorite class in school? I always enjoyed English and then later on in college I enjoyed most of my psych classes as well.
Who was your favorite teacher most recently? I’ve been done with school for 5 years now.
What is the lock screen and home screen on your phone? The lock screen is a photo of the ocean with a Bible verse on it and my home screen is a rose gold background.
Do you play Animal Crossing? Yeppp.
Do you have any pets? What kind? What is/are your pet(s) name(s)? I have a 3 year old German Shepherd/Lab mix named Princess Leia. <3
what is a song lyric you love? >> Right, I’m definitely not going to think of that off the top of my head right now. <<< Haha, right. Not to mention, I have a ton of favorite lyrics.
Have you done anything recently to support Black Lives Matter? I’ve signed petitions.
Are there any songs you feel transport you to a world that doesn't exist? Jason Mraz songs were kinda like that. Haha. It seemed like he lived in some whimsical fantasyland.
What songs do that for you? “but my breath fogged up glass, and so I drew a new face and I laughed” lol okay Jason Mraz. Haha that’s the only thing coming to mind right now. It’s almost 7AM okay I can’t think.
What is your favorite ethnicity/cuisine of food? Italian.
What are some popular things that you don't like/aren't interested in? Hmm. What’s even popular right now? I’m out of the loop.
When was the last time you got a haircut? Back in February.
What was the last movie (or musical) you watched? Ferris Bueller’s Day Off the other day.
What was the last movie you saw in the theatre? The Invisible Man.
How soon are you planning on going back to work? (If you've been off) I don’t have a job, remember?
What is an item you own that means a lot to you? I’ll always cherish my giraffe stuffed animals and knickknacks.
Do you have a favorite t-shirt? All of my graphic tees.
What other proshot musicals would you love to see streaming online? You sure love musicals. I like a few musicals, sure, but I’m not super into them like you seem to be. There aren’t any right now that I want to see that I can think of. Well, apart from maybe checking out Hamilton. What is something you're looking forward to? Summer being over.
How do you plan on celebrating Covid-19 being over, whenever that is? >> The problem with this idea is that... it’s not that simple? From what I understand, it’s not like one day we’re all gonna say “that’s it! we’ve officially eradicated this virus from the earth and we will never have to worry about it again!” I’m guessing it’s going to be a slow process of reopening with a lot of false starts and rollbacks (as new waves crest and protective measures have to be re-implemented). Even that first day that I go out to a restaurant is probably going to feel really weird and even a little “wrong”. I’m not sure how much celebrating is really going to be happening. <<< All of this. Like I said earlier, it’s not ever going completely go away or be over. We’ll hopefully get it under control at some point and find an effective vaccine and medications and not have the fear of it constantly looming over us, but we got a long way to go. And when that does happen, I’ll still be cautious. It’s sure going to feel weird when I do feel comfortable to go out again, though. It felt so weird just going outside for a bit recently one night cause it was the first time I had been out of the house at all since my doctor appointment back in May. That was really weird and scary for me. Prior to that I hadn’t gone anywhere since early March. Sooo yeah. I clearly won’t be rushing out anywhere anytime soon.
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What animation rivalries must have been like in 2018
Pixar: Oh gee, another year of possibilities and good old competition! Well, it took us a decade and a half, but we FINALLY released Incredibles 2!
Incredibles and Pixar fans: *screams in delighted joy*
Aardman Animation and Wes Anderson: Who wants more stop motion animation?
Stop motion fans: *are happy*
Studio Laika: We got a movie for you guys next year!
Stop motion fans :*screams of insane happiness•
Disney: Well, as promised, we have our Wreck it Ralph 2 sequel–
Wreck it Ralph fans: *screams in delighted joy•
Disney:–which of course doubles as a huge love letter to ourselves and how we are slowly taking over the world. But hey, we got the Disney princesses in this ones like we–
Disney fans and fans of the Disney Princesses: *louder screams of delighted joy•
Pixar: So Dreamworks, how’re you doing?
Dreamworks Animation: Eh, nothing this year. We wanted to take a break. But we do have new shows on Netflix, including a new She-Ra cartoon–
She-Ra fans new and old: OH MY GOD, YES!
Some dumb hater: Lol your redesigns suck!
She-Ra fans new and old: SHUT UP, JERK FACE!
Dreamworks Animation fans:–A Trolls cartoon–
Trolls fans: *sings songs of joy at top of lungs*
Dreamworks Animation: –We also revived Rocky and Bullwinkle–
Rocky and Bullwinkle fans new and old: *extremely loud cheering•
Dreamworks Animation: Both Trollhunters and Voltron are going to have season finales–
Trollhunters and Voltron fans: *awkward silence*....We are heavily divided on the endings.
Dreamworks Animation: But we are doing part two for Tales of Arcadia with ‘3Below’
Trollhunters fans:*immediately brightens up* NEVER MIND, WE’RE GOOD!
Voltron fans: Well... at least we got a gay marriage at the end. Even if Steven Universe beat us to it.
Dreamworks Animation:–Also we actually had a Captain Underpants cartoon ready this whole time–
Captain Underpants fans: *tears of joy* YES! FINALLY! THANK YOU!
Dreamworks Animation:–and a Boss Baby cartoon!
Everyone: *long awkward silence•
Others: You’re joking, right?
Disney: Well hey, we made OUR small screen fans happy too!
Star vs the Forces of Evil and Ducktales fans: *awkward, confused silence*
Star vs the Forces of Evil:.. What is even happening anymore?
Ducktales fans: I don’t know. We want to be happy.... but... what is even happening anymore? Why are they forcing us on these roller coasters of emotion?
*MEANWHILE at Cartoon network*
Steven Universe fans: Yeah, we are with those guys too. What... what is happening? We had a huge reveal this year and–I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF ANYTHING ANYMORE!
Adventure Time fans: *sigh of bittersweet happiness• Well, it was fun while it lasted. Oh by the way, congrats SU fans for your show featuring the first gay marriage in an animated kids show.
Steven Universe fans: *happy* Aw thanks Adventure Time fans!
*BACK TO THE MAIN FEATURE*
Cartoon network: HEY! WE GOT AN ANIMATED MOVIE FOR TEEN TITANS!
Everyone: *groans in annoyance•
*LATER*
Most everyone: It was... actually ok?
Sony: Hey guys! To make up for our crappy movie from last year, we got another Hotel Transylvania 3!
Many people: *groans in annoyance*
Hotel Transylvania fans: We have a new ship for our harbors. :D
Warner Bros: So we got one more year until the Lego Movie 2 right? Well we got this movie ‘Smallfoot’ in which HUMANS are the mythical creatures–
Many people: *more groans of annoyance*
*ALSO LATER*
Most everyone: Well ok, I guess it wasn’t bad.
Others: ZENDAYA! OUR BEAUTIFUL GODESS! Hallelujah!
Sony: We also have worked on Marvel to make a new animated Spiderman film.
EVERYONE: HOLY S***!/NO WAY!/IT LOOKS AWESOME!/YAY!/MILES MOARLES SPIDERMAN!/NICE!/JOHN MULANEY!!!/ETC.
Marvel fans: *see’s Peter Parker’s death date in trailer being 2018. Recalls what happened a month before the film’s release and smiles to the heavens.* Excelsior.
Disney: Well Illumination, what do YOU have to compete with us on November? Another crappy Minions sequel?
Illumination: So we decided to adapt How the Grinch stole Christmas.
*Most everyone stares in horror*
Some: No.
Most: Oh no.
Those who remember 2012: OH GOD, NOT AGAIN! NOT AGAIN! I HAD TO TAKE THERAPY TO RECOVER FROM–
Live action Grinch fans: *laughs* Yeah, good luck with that!
Illumination: Well, we actually learned our lesson this time. Also, we refuse to abuse Max in our take, because that’s just mean. We actually stayed faithful to the story AND included the title character... unlike YOU Disney with your live action Nutcracker film!
Everyone: Yeah, what the hell Disney?
Disney: Uh... Oh look we brought back 2D animation for ‘Mary Poppins Returns’! *runs away while everyone is distracted*
Dreamworks Animation: Oh yeah, actually we are releasing the last How to Train your Dragon movie next year.
HTTYD fans: *screams of joy drown everything out*
Pixar: Well, I guess that’s that. Hopefully we won’t get any weird entries for the Oscars or the Golden Globes like last time.
Oscar judges: D’oh ho ho. We’re a bunch of old geezers that only nominate the most talked about or what appeals to us as adults! We don’t give a crap about animated films that try to deviate from the norm with toys or have unique animation designs! Certainly not like– *notices two groups of royally pissed off fans of two specific films that ESPECIALLY got denied certain nominations in 2018.*
Lego Batman Movie fans: You guys suck! You nominated f***ing Boss Baby over OUR movie?! ESPECIALLY over Lego Batman movie, which scored higher than most DC films thanks to the obviously smarter critics and fans?!
Captain Underpants fans: Seriously, what the hell?! Do you have any idea how much both our movies getting nominated could have meant for the animation community as well as for the kids watching them?! ESPECIALLY considering the themes and representations OUR film supports?!
Oscar judges: Oh please! Like we want to tarnish our reputation by allowing a film involving actual toys or a grown man in his underwear join the ranks of our considerations–
*both groups proceed to attack judges*
Pixar: Well, here’s to another year of animation!
Toy Story fans/Everyone else: Toy Story 4 better not suck, Pixar! We were happy with it ending on the third one, so you better not screw this up!
Pixar: Err.... sure... *laughs nervously*
Hopefully 2019 will be a good year for animation. And I’m sorry if I didn’t list all the animations of 2018. There was too much to keep track of.
…..
…Oh yeah, wasn’t there also a sequel to that film about those garden gnomes?
…..
….Like I said, too much to keep track of.
#animation#disney#pixar#dreamworks animation#warner bros#sony#too much to keep track of#no seriously there's too many titles listed#and i'm too lazy to write out all the movie titles#marvel
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the kissing booth: a review
this is... a bad movie. i could probably forgive its many flaws & mistakes if it were made 10+ years ago, but now? ugh, it’s really, really bad.
i watched the trailer on youtube last night and didn’t think it looked too bad. cheesy, predictable, but not awful. its flaws were not on display in the trailer.
i guess i can start with the background on this film: apparently it’s based on a wattpad story. woo. (those wattpad stories sure are getting popular, as of recently. should i publish there? ...yeah, definitely not. when are book publishers and film studios gonna look at ao3 for quality content?)
i’ve never actually read anything in full on wattpad. maybe a fic here or there, but nothing multi-chaptered from start to finish. even so, i know they’re all crap. i guess i failed to realize how crappy, when it came to this film.
now visually, the film doesn’t look bad. cinematically, it looks like a film you could see on the big screen. the graphics in the intro aren’t the greatest, but it’s otherwise a good-looking film. but the script is bad. the characters are bad. it’s just... ugh.
i probably should have stopped watching this film sometime in the middle, but i also got curious to see how it ended, you know?
i should also say now before i forget that despite the bad script, the leads are fine. at least, those i know. it’s kinda weird to see joey king doing all these ~adult~ things when i still remember her as the adorable little star of ramona & beezus. (we’re the same age... amazing, right?) also, it wasn’t until the opening credits of the film that i recognized joel courtney’s name as one of the actors from the short-lived cw series the messengers i watched... i think three years ago? maybe more? yeah, he was fine. she was fine. the script was just... bad.
it was just ridiculously cliche. the best friend’s brother thing is something that’s been done before. falling for the bad boy/jock (i think he was both, like a teen girl’s wet dream), also done before. popular clique. peer pressure. nerd no one wants to be seen with. token gay kid. i could go on, but i won’t it’s just such an outdated film. and i think the source material’s from 2014 or something. it makes me mad. haven’t we grown past all this?
what bothered me most about this film was the male love interest - noah. he’s a jerk. a player, makes out with, like, all the girls of the school. and the lead - elle (joey) - was still into him. worst of all, he had anger issues. like, bad anger issues with violent tendencies. and his excuse? he’s protective of her. he gets into fights and i believe broke a guy’s nose because he came to her defense against another shitty student. like, come on. who wants to get involved with a guy like that?
his anger issues don’t disappear after that first fight. they come back, like, twice more in the film, and it’s said that he’s gone to therapy for them, but it didn’t work, apparently. he’s still getting into fights. there’s also no explanation for his anger issues. you don’t see his home life. i don’t think he was abused or anything, so how did he get like that? who knows? consider it a plot hole, i guess.
one other thing that bothered me about him and this film was privilege. he got into harvard, apparently. he’s not seen as studious. elle teases him once for being in the library and actually reading a book. maybe he got in on an athletic scholarship, but harvard has an athletics program? not a good one, i’d guess, since i’ve heard nothing about athletes being drafted from harvard. i’m guessing the original story was written by some young teen who hadn’t started her college search yet and it was the only school she could think of on the other side of the country that would force him away from elle. but come on. not even rutgers? really? at least they’re known for their athletics!!!
i also hate how obvious it was that elle and her bff lee (joel) should have been together. yeah, friends to lovers is probably an overdone trope too, but it’s better than falling for some violent, angry jerk, right?
and the film ends on a disappointing note as it is. yeah, elle and noah end up together, but he leaves for school and the end narration makes it sound like their relationship didn’t continue past that. i may not have cared for them together, but if elle was happy with him, then they should have stayed together, right? at least, that would be the satisfying ending. (or she ends up with lee. either is fine with me, at this point.)
ugh. there’s probably more i can talk about, like those lazy cliches, but i’m honestly tired of writing about this. i was optimistic going in but it was bad. i don’t recommend it. i have some other lame teen movies saved on my list (i think one’s another netflix original, another is indie or straight-to-dvd, and the third/last is a theatrical release whose book i tried to read and liked but took way too long, so i quit), but maybe i’ll think twice about giving those a try.
i’ll give the film a 3/10 bc it’s not total trash like films i despise girl most likely or scot pilgrim, but it’s still bad and i do not recommend it.
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I solved Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD/Seasonal Depression) so you don't have to. 9 easy proven steps
Summer is winding down. Despite the ponderosa, we’ve had some great fun and enjoyed living in a way that felt like it might never happen again. But that means Moody Emo Spooky Libra Sweater Weather Season is right around the corner!
While I love spooky season, it also signals the start of my annual decline into a depressive episode that lasts until somewhere near the spring equinox. Some people call it seasonal affective disorder (SAD); I call it hell. Though it is torturous to live like a zombie for 6 months a year, I’ve found ways to make my ride down the river Styx a lot more comfortable.
For example, our Fall releases are usually our best of the year because it matters more than any other time of the year. These creations are more than just new stuff to sell, they're a reason for us to take care of ourselves, remain sensual, creative, continue our rituals, and honestly stay alive.
But that’s just one part of this 1100-word article on beating seasonal affective disorder aka SAD aka Seasonal Depression aka the Fall fall. Since I personally deal with this shit, I’ve learned a ton to make this crappy season feel a lot better and I’m as excited as I can be to share them with you all!
Change your meds
"Treat yourself like a child or wild animal in a zoo. Plan activities or even just new stimulation for yourself. " -- Jerome
The change in seasons causes a change in brain chemistry. Even if your meds had been working previously, now might be the perfect time to increase your dose, add a helper or take a break. If you’re not on meds, it might be a good idea to think about. Talk to your doctor and see if there’s something you can try.
8 years ago, around my birthday, I started taking anti-depressants for the first time - Wellbutrin 100mg daily. A couple years later, I asked for a switch to something different and she added Zoloft 50mg daily. Which helped me regain my sense of optimism, creativity, and imagination. It’s been a long time; I’m glad to have them back.
Invest in a 5500k or higher lightbulb
Light therapy has been a great treatment for SAD and major depression for people closer to the poles for a long time. Light boxes are an easy but kind of expensive option – cheap ones start at $50. Whereas you could install an outlet timer and fluorescent bulb over your head to wake you up with a burst of “sunlight” every morning for about $25. You could also spend less than $10 and buy a specialty CFL (compact fluorescent) or a LED equivalent bulb that’ll fit in any standard outlet.
Keep busy, be useful
Because I like projects and fall on the frugal side, I prefer the DIY options for the tip above. Even if you have the cash for a light box, it’s always a great idea to aid your sense of accomplishment with a series of short projects or a long-term hobby. Although I have found some types of tasks, projects and hobbies work better than others.
For my depression, getting a useful hobby with measurable results has been a life and mind saver. Having something to care for, watching something grow, getting better at something, these things keep me connected to the world and people around me.
Give yourself a break
My depression feels like nothing, and everything is happening at once. The result is an exhausting mixture of behavior that is at times frantic, tense or eerily still – sometimes all at once. A bitch gets tired from time to time and when that happens, I give myself the time to rest up, even if that means sleeping for 24 hours straight.
Even under ideal brain conditions, rest is necessary. Autumnal depression or SAD has a way of zapping our energy like nothing else. It’s important to know when it’s time to rest. You’re not a failure for needing a nap or some solo Netflix and chill time.
Get stimulated
Now, I’m not a doctor or an expert on this. So, this is just some personal experience, not advice.
For me, the morning is a crucial time. If I can find a way to just start my mind right when I get out of bed, I can usually rev up to a functional level of energy; if not, I’m fucked. Previously, I fixed that with some not so legally acquired Adderall, but it raised my blood pressure too high. Now I start my day with a cup of coffee or two.
There’s something in the getting up and doing a useful thing plus ingestion of a stimulant that really seems to help me. I also like smoking cigarettes for the same reason. If you don’t like coffee but do like cannabis and tobacco, a spliff with a tobacco and a strong, energizing sativa might be a great option.
Novelty & Enrichment
Treat yourself like a child or wild animal in a zoo. Plan activities or even just new stimulation for yourself. Change up what shows you're watching, what you're wearing, the fragrances of butters you're wearing, the bath bombs you're using, the color of the light in your room, reorganize your space, change what you're eating, and who you’re fucking.
"It’s important to know when it’s time to rest. You’re not a failure for needing a nap or some solo Netflix and chill time. " -- Jerome
Maybe also trying some new things, even something you might think of as traditional and boring. Something like playing cards, board games, drawing, painting, taking a dance class, bingo, or working out.
Exercise
Look I understand that you already know this is a fact and if you want it to work out, you'd be working out already. So, this is going to be a very short section. But just know that exercise will make you feel better, moving on.
Stay away from downers
Whether it’s joy sucking people or intoxicants, it’s important to minimize the things that are zapping your energy and spirit. If you’re a weed smoker, stay away from indicas as they will make you sleepy. If you’re on SSRIs ask your doctor if adding a stimulant to your meds might help. If you’ve got a case of the fake people, say goodbye, goodbye to all the fake people your life.
Be selfish
Being selfish gets a bad rap. Usually, though, selfishness is actually healthy. We often overexert ourselves trying to be there for everyone. We need to spend more time being there for ourselves. Selflessness and sacrifice are valuable features in martyr, but martyrs die and you’re trying to live. Be a little selfish, sacrifice less of your soul and you’ll have a greater ability to lift yourself, which, funny enough, will still help to lift others.
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Tech that will change your life in 2021
Now, 2020 has become the lens through which all our 2021 predictions are glimpsed. As we continue to live in a pandemic-fighting world, innovators will aim tech solutions at our personal and professional lives, from at-home streaming movie debuts to an overdue evolutionary leap of the laptop. But we will also strive to reach a new normal, and you’ll see technology helping us there, too, from new hybrid work practices to high-tech masks. And accompanying each new product or service: yet another monthly subscription fee. Now that we’ve rung in the new year, here’s what to look for. Pandemic-Inspired Innovation Masks, webcams and sanitizers for our bodies... and our gadgets. The pandemic sparked a reliance on things our 2019 selves couldn’t ever have imagined. With marketers keen to capitalize on the new interest (and anxiety), 2021 will likely be full of new gizmos that boldly promise to improve it all. One key area: better webcams for our constant video calling. Samsung has already announced that its forthcoming Galaxy smartphone, expected in early 2021, will improve video recording and calling. We anticipate laptop makers will do the same and finally ditch their crappy, low-resolution webcams. Portable versions of UV sanitizers for cleaning your phones and gadgets are on the way to keep in your car or your pocket. Another thing we may eventually never leave home without? High-tech masks. Expect a range of built-in features: Bluetooth and microphones (see Maskfone), a fan-powered wearable air purifier (see LG PuriCare), a mask with a UV LED (see the UV Mask). Look for air-quality sensors, contact-tracing assistance and more. You may even end up wearing a social-distancing sweater. SimpliSafe, a home-security company, made a version that sounds an alarm when someone comes within 6 feet of you. Intended as a fun prototype, the sweater sold out immediately. Laptops Arm Up Suddenly, laptops aren’t the most boring gadget in the world. Our reliance on them for at-home work and school spurred demand the category hadn’t seen in years. (“Children, let me tell you about the Great Chromebook Shortage of 2020.") Then, in November, Apple released a MacBook Air and MacBook Pro that ditched Intel inside for Apple’s own M1 chips. The result? Machines that have never been so quiet and cool, and lasted so long on one charge. The move from chips based on Intel’s x86 architecture to ones based on lower-powered Arm technology, like the ones inside phones, is setting the entire computing industry on a new course. Lenovo, Acer and Microsoft have begun releasing Windows or Chrome OS laptops with chips from Qualcomm, whose processors power the most popular Android phones. This will only accelerate in the coming year, with nearly every major Windows PC maker working with Qualcomm on laptops and some models even gaining 5G, said Qualcomm President Cristiano Amon. Apple, which plans to transition its entire Mac lineup to its own processors by 2022, is also expected to release a long-anticipated new iMac, among other things. And it won’t come as a surprise when more tech giants, including Amazon and Microsoft, embrace their own custom chips in everything from laptops to servers to wearables. Hollywood at Home Many of this year’s top films are hitting living rooms at the same time as theaters. Yep, that means watching “Dune" opening weekend in your PJs. (Woohoo!) In April, Universal Pictures made “Trolls World Tour" an online rental as theaters closed. Unexpectedly, it broke digital records, racking up $100 million through platforms such as Apple TV. Then Disney made a big bet on “Mulan," launching the title on the company’s Disney+ streaming service for an additional $30 a pop. Following the Christmas release of “Wonder Woman 1984" to all HBO Max subscribers (with no extra fees), WarnerMedia plans to release its entire 2021 slate on the online platform. Netflix has long adhered to this model, and now Hollywood is catching on, more out of necessity than out of desire. AMC reported attendance is down 85% year over year and Regal Cinemas, the second-largest theater chain in the U.S., closed all of its locations nationwide. The director of “Dune," slated for an HBO Max debut in the fall, wrote a scathing op-ed about how streaming alone can’t sustain the film industry. Yet the studios’ digitally minded parent companies, including Comcast, AT&T and Disney, might disagree, finding themselves in possession of the primary distribution channel for their content—and the valuable proprietary viewer data that comes with it. Reality: Assisted, Not Augmented When will Apple release a pair of smart glasses? Probably not 2021. And while Google made a big step in this category this summer by acquiring North, a pioneer in projection glasses, it canceled the second version of North’s glasses as it plots its future. It’s actually Facebook that declared it will launch smart glasses in 2021—and they’ll be Ray Bans. Facebook Chief Executive Mark Zuckerbergsaid in September these glasses will be “the next step on the road to augmented reality." They won’t feature virtual objects that appear to interact with the real world. AR headsets like Microsoft’s HoloLens might deliver an immersive experience, but they’re still expensive and cumbersome. “Assisted reality" glasses—which project text, images and even video feeds into a person’s field of view—are of more value now, says Brian Ballard, CEO of remote-expertise company Upskill. Businesses have found utility in remote video conferencing that hovers in workers’ field of view, or turn-by-turn directions they don’t have to look down to follow. More Remote Workouts… and Doctor Visits At-home health is here to stay. Downloads of health and fitness apps grew by 46% world-wide in the first half of 2020, according to MoEngage, a marketing research firm. Connected fitness equipment, once considered a pricey extravagance, turned into a no-brainer as gyms closed. Peloton, which makes smart spin bikes and treadmills, said it tripled its revenue in the quarter ending in September. Lululemon Athletica acquired Mirror, a wall-mounted panel that streams fitness classes, in June. Doctor checkups are changing, too. Hospitals used phone, interactive video and messaging to minimize contact with coronavirus patients, after fast-tracking new telemedicine systems. In March, federal authorities loosened health privacy regulation to allow health-care providers to facilitate visits over FaceTime, Facebook Messenger, Zoom or Skype. PlushCare, a virtual primary care provider, saw a 460% increase in patient signups this year. Ryan McQuaid, the company’s CEO, doesn’t think the bump is a short-term response to a crisis, citing the time-consuming nature of in-person visits. “On average, Americans spend over 20 minutes in the waiting room alone," he said. E-commerce ≠ Amazon The pandemic packed 10 years of consumer e-commerce adoption into a single quarter, and forced every company that wasn’t Amazon—especially those with large retail footprints—to scramble to offer consumers new and better ways to shop from home. Target saw an explosion in curbside pickup from online orders, while warehouse retailer Costco reported unprecedented growth in e-commerce. Walmart launched a Prime-like membership program called Walmart+, and rapidly added features to keep up the competition. (Walmart recently eliminated order minimums and shipping fees on Walmart.com orders, and provides no-fee delivery on grocery carts totaling $35 or more.) Shopify, which powers payments for many small businesses online, expanded its own network of fulfillment centers so those businesses could get goods to customers more quickly and efficiently, without turning to Amazon. Now that fast, free shipping is table stakes and retailers recognize they won’t see the foot traffic they counted on pre-pandemic, consumers finally get an online version of an old retail staple: comparison shopping. In 2021, Amazon’s value proposition—that if it isn’t always the least expensive way to shop, it’s at least the most convenient—will be tested. Meanwhile, its market power—along with Google’s, Facebook’s and Apple’s—will continue to be the focus of regulatory scrutiny. Death by Subscription Everything now has some sort of subscription attached to it. Your 600 video streaming apps, your grocery-delivery service, your cloud storage, certainly, but also your workout bike? Your to-do list app? Your dog food? Everything as a Service (EaaS), as we like to call it, is only going to continue. More things you once bought as a one-time payment will be offered instead as a recurring payment. And expect new sorts of service-focused offerings, too—especially tied to your hardware purchases. If Apple’s Fitness+—a new digital workout subscription that requires an Apple Watch—is successful, Apple and other hardware makers will likely attach more services to their products. Those subscriptions you’re already paying for will continue to rise. Companies argue you need to pay more so they can add more content and features. In June, YouTube TV raised its cable-like bundle by $15. In October, Netflix raised its most popular streaming plan from $12.99 to $13.99. In November, Google eliminated its free Google Photos storage tier. And Disney announced that in March, the monthly price of Disney+ will go from $6.99 to $7.99. Return of the Trust Fall While remote work has many advantages, building trust between employees isn’t one of them. Online, there is no water cooler, no nearby coffee shop for informal brainstorms, no place to grab a drink after work. But companies whose employees worked remotely long before the pandemic already had a solution: the off-site retreat. Buffer, a fully remote company, gets its entire, globe-spanning team together at least once a year. Dozens of other companies whose employees work mostly or entirely at home do the same thing, which has led to a cottage industry of firms that will plan these retreats for you. One reason companies have embraced remote work is that it makes employees happier, but another is that it saves companies money on office space. In 2021, expect to see many of the millions of employees who have permanently shifted to remote or hybrid work piling into party buses, doing group yoga and seeking inner peace in the presence of their bosses—for far less than the cost of the rent on the offices they left behind. EV, American Style Look, electric vehicles are cool, but few bear any resemblance to good old Detroit steel. That changes in 2021 with the anticipated arrival of some green beasts. This summer, startup Rivian expects to ship the already-sold-out launch editions of its first-generation R1T pickup and R1S SUV, machines with ranges of over 300 miles and price tags starting around $70,000. Then there’s the GMC Hummer EV pickup, due in the fall from General Motors. Reservations are already full for the $112,595-and-up Edition 1, which is billed to have a range of over 350 miles and can do zero-to-60 in about 3 seconds. Lower-tier trims will be available in subsequent years, though true to form, the prices will stay on the big side. Ford expects to have its own battery-powered monster, the F-150 Electric, on sale in mid-2022. Back in pre-pandemic times, the company filmed a prototype towing over a million pounds. And sometime in late 2021 or early 2022, we might even see Tesla’s Cybertruck. Those may be the biggest consumer vehicles coming to market, but they’re not the only ones working to up the EV’s average size. This past year brought battery-powered SUVs from the likes of Toyota, Audi and Jaguar, and the trend will continue: In 2021, more than half of the battery-electric and plug-in hybrid options on the U.S. market will be SUVs—82 models total, as opposed to 66 passenger-car models, according to forecasts by AlixPartners, a global consulting firm. This story has been published from a wire agency feed without modifications to the text. Subscribe to Mint Newsletters * Enter a valid email * Thank you for subscribing to our newsletter. Read the full article
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on the upswing
as someone who is now feeling much better... here’s Leah’s Guide to Not Feeling Like Shit.
Are you also feeling stuck, unhappy, isolated, bored, and hopeless?
Yeah, sounds like we kind of all are right now. I’m sorry to hear that. But the first step to getting over it is to let ourselves feel it. Journaling is my favorite way to get to the bottom of how I’m feeling: processing through all of the facets of why I’m feeling crappy, feeling it fully, and then releasing it. You can do it publicly like my blog post yesterday (I don’t always do this, but it definitely helped me-- and hopefully some others-- feel a little less alone) or privately in an actual journal, or just on a piece of paper that you can then do whatever you want with (burn it? rip it up? put it in a box and forget about it for a few years? bury it in the backyard?)
Sometimes journaling immediately lifts the weight, and sometimes there’s a bit more that needs to swirl around, but it’s definitely important to feel the crappy feelings, name them, and sit with them for as long as you need to. I struggle with this sometimes (a lot) because... I don’t want to feel bad! I want to feel good! But as many therapists will tell you, you have to process the feelings, or else they’re just going to pop back up later. And now they’ve had time to marinate. And the marinade is not tasty. (that last part was not from therapists.)
Then, the next step is super important for me, especially in quarantine life: move ya body, girl. (girl is gender-neutral in this instance) Getting my heart rate up is so crucial. I go on a lot of walks (having a puppy helps), but lately I’ve started playing “Just Dance” for the Switch again, which also helps with my next recommendation. Putting on some music and dancing is good, or I literally told one of my friends yesterday to do 3 jumping jacks. She said that 3 is a lot, but I think 3 is the perfect amount to be like UGH okay I’m moving! My mom literally has a course through their house that she walks when it’s crappy outside. There are SO many ways to do this, but it almost always makes me feel better. Maybe it’s moving the shitty feelings through, maybe it’s just exercise endorphins, maybe it’s feeling proud of myself for doing something healthy... but either way, gotta move.
As I hinted at earlier, attempting to keep up with dance moves to a Psy song (not Gangnam Style!) helps immensely with the next and possibly most important step: find something to laugh about. Conveniently, I think I’m hilarious, and often very weird, so I laugh at myself a LOT. But, if you need external help, I recommend asking your friends to send you their favorite memes, go look at Luke Cook’s instagram story highlights with people’s crazy confessions, and if you think dick jokes are funny, I highly recommend Nikki Glaser’s stand-up special on Netflix. (if you don’t.... I’m sorry?)
And finally, probably the most important part: self-love. Clearly music is a theme for me, so I like to put on music that makes me feel like a badass and dance in the mirror (this covers all three because it usually also makes me laugh) and think positive thoughts. Sometimes I make a physical list, sometimes a mental list, of things I love about myself, even if it’s a short list that day. I look into my own eyes and remind myself I’m worthy of love-- ESPECIALLY my own. I think about things I’ve accomplished that I’m proud of, no matter how small, AND I think about how worthy and valuable I am regardless of any of those things. And I know this part takes work. It’s taken me years to love my body in the way that I do now, and I’m nowhere near perfect. But even if it’s literally wrapping your arms around yourself and giving yourself a hug. Brushing your hair. Sitting quietly by yourself for a few minutes and just enjoying your own company. Please know that you are loved, you are so worthy of love, and you bring something to this world that no one else does. I’m so grateful to know you, or whoever linked you this blog post is.
We’re all going to get through this, and as I love to imagine, we’ll all be at brunch with a big group of friends, maybe a little bit tipsy, laughing about “hey, remember that time we lived through a global pandemic? wow, that was wild.” Looking forward to it. If you need someone to talk to in the meantime, you know I’m here.
Bonus suggestions:
-Watch a Disney movie (or something else sweet and childlike)
-Do something creative
-Put on lipstick (also a gender-neutral option. if you need to borrow one, let me know)
-Try to laugh without smiling
-Dye your hair pink (this has honestly made me happier than almost anything in quarantine times)
-Google “congested pony gif”
Happy laughing and self-love-ing!
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The Closest Sean Connery Ever Came To Playing Sherlock Holmes
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In the course of his nearly 50-year career on the screen, the late Sean Connery portrayed many famous characters, both fictional and non-fictional. Among those were, of course, Ian Fleming’s suave spy James Bond in seven films; Daniel Druvot in 1975’s The Man Who Would Be King; King Arthur in 1995’s First Knight, Robin Hood in 1976’s Robin and Marian; Dr. Henry Jones Sr. in 1989’s Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, and many more.
One role Connery never got to play was Arthur Conan Doyle’s legendary detective, Sherlock Holmes. But he did come close, playing a character who was based at least in part on Holmes, in the 1986 movie The Name of the Rose.
Based on the best-selling 1980 novel by Italian historian, philosopher and author Umberto Eco, the book and the film are set in 1327, as a Franciscan monk named William of Baskerville (Connery) and his young novice Adso of Melk (Christian Slater) travel to a remote abbey in northern Italy that’s home to an order of Benedictine monks, ostensibly for a high-stakes debate between the Franciscan order and emissaries of the Vatican over the poverty of Christ.
Once there, however, William is asked by the abbot (Michael Lonsdale, a Bond villain in 1979’s Moonraker) to help solve the mysterious death of a young monk. William, whose vast intellect is piqued by mysteries, is at first hesitant, as previous investigations have led him into direct conflict with the then-powerful Inquisition. But as more monks die, with the deaths apparently connected to a forbidden book of which no copies allegedly exist, William is drawn deeper into the puzzle and once again must eventually face the Inquisition in the form of the fanatical Bernardo Gui (F. Murray Abraham, in his first role since winning the Best Actor Oscar two years earlier for Amadeus).
Directed by Jean-Jacques Annaud (Quest for Fire) and starring an international cast that also included William Hickey (Moonstruck), Ron Perlman (Hellboy) and others, The Name of the Rose was and is a truly unique story and film: it is a detective story set in a medieval monastery, with a lead character inspired by both Sherlock Holmes (the “Baskerville” is a nod to Doyle’s The Hound of the Baskervilles) and the real-life 14th century Franciscan philosopher and theologian William of Ockham.
Shooting in Italy and Germany, Annaud was reportedly obsessed with getting the period details correct, right down to the illuminated manuscripts that are such an integral part of the plot. The film is certainly unlike any detective story one might have seen previously: the abbey is a forbidding, dank, oppressive place, while the monks almost to a man appear unhealthy, decrepit or deranged. It feels like the 1300s. Grisly killings, torture and — of all things — an explicit sex scene are all part of the proceedings.
Yet at the same time, The Name of the Rose is a dense work — almost too dense in some places — that features labyrinths both literal and metaphorical as well as rich thematic conversations on the nature of love, the existence of God, the power of laughter and, ultimately, whether knowledge is dangerous and should be repressed lest it weaken one’s faith in the Almighty.
The movie was the last of what one might call Connery’s “wilderness years,” before his Oscar-winning 1987 turn in The Untouchables put him back on Hollywood’s A-list. Following his final official appearance as Bond in 1971’s Diamonds are Forever, the Scottish actor embarked on a 15-year stretch of 20 films that featured both hits and misfires. Among his movies during this period were the well-regarded crime drama The Offence (1972), the deliriously loopy sci-fi epic Zardoz (1974), the desert war film The Wind and the Lion (1975), the adventure The Man Who Would Be King (1975), the spacebound High Noon reimagining Outland (1981), an unofficial Bond return in Never Say Never Again (1983) and the cult fantasy classic Highlander (1986).
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It’s safe to say, however, that Connery’s career throughout this period did not reach the same heights of success that it did during his years as Bond. Columbia Pictures even pulled its backing from The Name of the Rose because the studio didn’t think the actor was a draw at that point, and Annaud reportedly did not at first want to hire James Bond to play the more intellectually-minded and philosophical William.
Annaud was eventually won over, and as screenwriter Andrew Birkin recently recalled while paying tribute to Connery in The Hollywood Reporter, the actor requested changes to the script to make William of Baskerville even more introspective than envisioned. Birkin said that Connery “brought pensiveness and thoughtfulness to the part. Things he wasn’t able to play in Bond. Bond is a man of action. Here, Sean played a man of words.”
Not surprisingly, Connery is magnificent in the role. His William of Baskerville is an empathetic, quick-witted, marvelously intelligent pursuer of knowledge and truth, quite willing to buck the conventional dogma of the Church at the time — at least privately. He is fatherly and compassionate to his novice Adso, especially when the latter inadvertently experiences his first stirrings of love for a woman (which, William points out amusingly, presents “certain problems” for a monk).
20th Century Fox
William is also a flawed character: as we learn, his intellectual pride in the past led to accusations of heresy against him and a man he was charged to protect, with William thrown into prison for several years and the man consigned to being burned at the stake. Reluctant at first to solve the murders at the abbey, he ultimately stands up for the truth once again, putting himself in grave danger.
It’s a complex performance in a complicated, dark but challenging film, and what’s strange is that even though Connery won a BAFTA Award for Best Actor (the British equivalent of an Oscar), The Name of the Rose is extremely difficult to see today.
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The movie failed in North America, grossing just $7.6 million, but did better in Europe, earning around $77 million internationally. Yet it is not streaming on Amazon or Netflix, hasn’t been released on Blu-ray in North America and is out of print on DVD. You might have better luck if you have an all-region player, although the quality of the DVD and Blu-ray editions released internationally might be sketchy (we love the movie, and all we have is a crappy Italian DVD from some years back).
If you can catch it, it’s worth the time: The Name of the Rose not only features what we think is one of Connery’s best performances, but it’s a riveting historical/philosophical mystery on its own terms even if it condenses much of the esoteric musings that made Eco’s book a favorite with readers around the world. As for why this excellent movie did not take off at the time of its release and is not easy to see or remember today, that’s an enigma that even Sherlock Holmes might have trouble solving.
The post The Closest Sean Connery Ever Came To Playing Sherlock Holmes appeared first on Den of Geek.
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march movie wrap up
(check out my february movie wrap up here)
(january movie wrap up also available!)
i watched 14 movies this month! only 2 of them i watched at the cinema, but around 5 of them are recently released movies. check out my full film diary in my letterboxd, but here are the highlights of the movies i watched.
the boy and the beast (2015) because my boyfriend wants me to watch more anime, and because he wants to see me cry when watching them. i did, even though i didn’t expect to dammit! the animation in here is pretty, but the story was what really got me.
arrival (2016). i watched this movie at home cause i didnt get the chance to watch it at the cinema. i rated it 3.5 out of 5 stars, it wasn’t bad but it wasn’t amazing either. it is definitely quite different from the sci-fi alien movies you would expect, this one is more focused on cinematography, characters, pretty shots instead of the science or politics or thrills itself. not that i dislike it!
logan (2017). a good conclusion to the tiring movie franchise, i kinda had low expectations cause i was starting to get tired of people glorifying wolverine so much. i didn’t cry though, but i did enjoy the whole movie itself.
midnight in paris (2011). i just can’t help but really really love woody allen, despite the controversy behind the person himself. his work is beautiful, i love the shots and themes he’d express, and the dialogues are excellent. this movie is also excellent, i didn’t get bored a single minute of the movie without the movie being filled with action or exciting plot. i love how even though it’s quite slow, you can really feel all the characters, the story itself, and the vibes it gives off, all the old songs and the costumes and the setting, not to mention the music, was wonderfully arranged.
hidden figures (2016). watched this at the cinema, it was a good watch, not especially incredible but it’s very entertaining, fun to watch, exciting, had a great cast, awesome dialogues.
zodiac (2007). watched this because jake gyllenhaal was in it, and i was in the mood for a thriller, crime detective type of movie. it was very thrilling. and i was watching it alone at home in the dark and i got creeped out lol.
moonlight (2016) was yet another movie i watched at home because i missed it when it was at the cinema. i really liked it, actually. i don’t really know if it deserves all the awards and hype it has gotten, but i love the story and the cinematography and the acting. sure, the story is basically straightforward. we all know he’s a black gay guy. but how the story unfolds, the small conflicts and the character development, was well constructed. i liked the dialogues (or lack of them bc of the cutely quiet main character), and the shots were just really really pretty. i also particularly liked the family themes it expressed.
rewatches: stonehearst asylum (still not better than shutter island imo, and the romance is just disgusting tbh), the lion the witch and the wardrobe (it’s amazing how much i still remember from this movie even tho it’s been years since i last watched it. it made me wanna reread the whole narnia series). some horrible movies: the good girl (sorry jake gyllenhaal it wasn’t your fault i just disliked all the romance), the mission (not that it’s bad, i think i just watched it at the wrong time, and got really bored), hacksaw ridge (i don’t hate it, i just don’t like war movies in general tbh).
series i watched, cause why not:
new girl! such a fun series, i binge watched the first like 3 seasons on my laptop around a year ago then suddenly gave up on it, but then that fire rekindled when me and my boyfriend randomly decided to watch it again on netflix and we loved it! spent like the whole day just watching episodes back to back, laughing out loud at so many moments. my fav character is nick omg. also ferguson <3 currently finished with season 4 and not in the mood to continue with season 5.
rick and morty. again, another series i watched with my boyfriend lol. it’s super fun and disgustingly good, can’t wait for season 3 omg.
riverdale. watched it with my housemates on friday nights as we drink our wines and shout at the super hot cole sprouse bc omg look at that FACE DAYUM. the plot is crappy but i like keeping up with it, it’s just fun to watch pretty people.
iron fist. watched it because my boyfriend told me to (he’s a huge marvel freak). still on episode 3 or something, not in the mood to continue but maybe.
13 reasons why. just started it a few days ago, again watching it with my housemates. it’s quite fun so far! a lot of unanswered questions on the borderline of me getting tired of asking questions everywhere, like what the hell is going onnnn??? the actors aren’t as pretty as the ones in riverdale, but i still enjoy it. only on episode 2 so far.
now that i realize it, i haven’t had a lot of time to watch series on my own, most of them i watch on netflix when i’m having dinner or with my boyfriend/friends. i did try to start peaky blinders season 3 and the x-files season 10, but i’m currently not in the mood and don’t have the time to watch them tbh.
add me on letterboxd.
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The Things We Do for Cats
AN: A response to the prompt “Hello we are full grown adults fighting over this last balloon that’s shaped like a cats head,” because I’m getting excited about S4 :)
There was only so much popcorn, fairy floss, screaming children and flashing lights Clarke could take in one day. Sure, she loved her goddaughter and would do anything for her, but honestly just heading back to her apartment and chucking on some Disney movie on Netflix to entertain Rosalind seemed like a much better option than hanging around some dusty park with subpar rides and limited seating. However, the small child she was looking after for the day had the determination of her mother, and there was no woman Clarke had ever met more determined than Raven Reyes. Rosalind’s mind was firmly set on staying for the 9pm fireworks, which Clarke was sure would be cancelled due to the imminent rain storm looming.
They had done the teacup ride. They had consumed Rosalind’s body weight in sugar. They had played the game where you fish for floating rubber ducks. They had had their faces painted (Clarke with a small Princess crown, and Rosalind with a silver sparkly wrench). But after having to tear down a bully middle aged man who had pushed in front of Clarke at the mile-long line for the drinking fountain, she decided enough was enough.
“Come on, Rosie. I promise we can get pizza and ice-cream on the way back home, and then we can watch Cars and paint our nails! Doesn’t that sound great?” Clarke remarked to her goddaughter, plastering a smile on her face but unable to disguise a hint of desperation in her voice.
“Nope! We’re staying for fireworks.” Rosalind replied firmly. Clearly, reasoning with a stubborn five-year-old was going to be harder than Clarke thought.
From the corner of her eye, Clarke glanced at a balloon stand a couple of metres away. In the middle of a rainbow, helium filled cluster of balloons, there was one in particular that caught her attention: a black cat with blue eyes and a head in the shape of a football – an exact replica of Berlioz, Rosalind’s favourite character from the Aristocats.
The Aristocats, for some unknown reason, had been Rosalind’s favourite movie for the past six months. She had dragged Clarke down to the beanbag in her living room a countless number of times to watch the Disney classic, to the point where Clarke had just had to put her foot down and refuse to watch it again.
“Rosie, have I ever told you how intelligent, mature, and sophisticated you are? You know, I can basically treat you the same way that I treat other adults, you’re so smart. And you know what grown ups do? They negotiate, and they compromise.”
In response to comment, Rosalind crossed her arms, narrowed her eyes and raised one eyebrow. She truly did have remarkable insight for a five-year-old, and knew that her godmother’s comments had their seed planted in scheming. But she stayed silent, waiting for Clarke to continue, interested in what was on offer.
“How about I buy you that balloon over there, the one that looks exactly like Berlioz! Then, when we go home, which we will do as soon as possible, we can watch the Aristocats. How does that sound?”
Rosie pursed her lips and twisted them in contemplation. The blonde had laid a decent offer on the table.
“Hmm… Well… I guess that’s fair. But you have to promise we’ll get pizza!” Rosalind replied.
With a glance up to the sky, Clarke released a sigh of relief, thanking any deity who had given her the luck to successfully negotiate with the likes of Rosalind Jaha. “Excellent, it’s a plan,” she smiled, reaching down to take Rosie’s small hand and lead her to the balloon stand.
There was no line when they arrived at the stall. Clarke pulled out some cash from her pocket and smiled at the girl selling the balloons, who with a dishevelled uniform and untidy looked like she was ready to check out, go home, and never return to the carnival again. “I’d like to take the cat balloon, please,” Clarke smiled.
“Oh.” The lady stated in a monotone voice. “Yeah… That umm… Might be difficult…”
“Difficult? Why the heck is it difficult, just take my cash, grab the balloon, and we can both be done for the day.”
“Well –“
“It’s difficult because I’ve already bought it.” A deep voice chimed in from behind her. Clarke turned around with a scowl. She was at the end of her tether, and really did not have the energy to deal with another asshole. She inhaled sharply in surprise when she saw who had spoken. She was expecting some middle aged straight white man similar to the one at water fountain, thinking he owned the world simply by existing.
But no, that was not what she saw. Instead, there stood a guy just slightly taller than her and about her age, with dark tousled hair, eyes to match, and freckles that resembled speckles of chocolate. Oh, and a scowl to match, if not trump, her own.
“Is that so? Then why is it still there, floating above a sign saying ‘balloons for sale,’ hmm?” Clarke questioned with a raised eyebrow and a hand on her hip.
“Well, Princess,” he drawled sarcastically, glancing down at the tiara on Clarke’s cheek, “I just had to grab some cash. But I assure you, that balloon is mine.”
“Are you kidding me? You can’t reserve balloons. Use your eyes and note that I am currently at the front of the line, with the correct amount of money, buying the balloon that is clearly for sale. I assure you, that balloon is mine,” Clarke spat out, irritated.
“Nope, no way. There is no way I’m going to let you walk away with that balloon,” the man responded with conviction.
“So you’re telling me you’re a full grown adult who is willing to fight another full grown adult over some stupid cat balloon?”
“I’m not the one with a pink glittery tiara on my face, Princess.”
“There’s nothing wrong with pink glittery tiaras and I deplore the suggestion that it downgrades my maturity! You’re just being petty and argumentative. Seriously, who peed in your Cheerios this morning?”
“Clarkey, don’t worry about it. We can just go, I don’t care about the balloons or the fireworks,” a tiny voice whispered from where Rosalind had hidden behind Clarke’s legs, disconcerted by the conflict.
“Sh –” The scowl on the man’s face melted away as he noted the caramel skinned child. “Sugar. I didn’t realise. I thought – ” His expression transformed into one of guilt, he was clearly coming to the realisation that the balloon was not, in fact, for Clarke herself.
Clarke just raised her eyebrow even further
“Were you the one wanting the balloon?” The man’s voice became softer, calming, as he crouched down to the level of the five-year-old.
Rosalind nods shyly, emerging from behind Clarke’s legs.
“Well, you have excellent taste. My favourite girl in the world loves black cats. She’s away travelling through Europe right now, so I kind of miss her. She’s left her kitten for me to look after, and it’s favourite thing to do is play with balloons, so I thought I’d record a video of her kitten playing with the balloon and send it to her. But clearly you will take care of the balloon a million times better than me, so I reckon it’s best you take it home.”
Rosalind looked up from the spot she was staring at on the ground, glancing through her eyebrows at the guy. She nodded and said “Ok,” while Clarke handed her money to the exasperated sales person in exchange for the Berlioz balloon.
Clarke grabbed Rosie’s hand and started to walk away, but a warm and broad hand on her forearm stopped her.
“Wait, I should probably apologise.” It was the belligerent man who had stopped her, who was now looked rightfully sheepish.
“Probably?” Clarke replied sarcastically.
“Yeah, definitely. I’ve been having a crappy day. I work in the VIP tent, in catering.” Well that explains the formal attire, Clarke thought, in reference to the form fitting white button down and black pants the man was wearing. “And I swear, those trophy wives are vicious.”
“Tell me about it,” Clarke said. She glanced down at the nametag the guy was wearing, Bellamy, it said. Realising what this Bellamy had had to deal with from years of being forced by her mother to attend ‘upper class’ functions, she began to understand his irritated mood. “I unfortunately know the crappiness of those types of things all too well. Realistically, I guess I’m impressed you’ve not completely lost your faith in human beings. I would be if I had to do your job.”
It was at that moment that a crack of thunder came from the clouds and Clarke smelt the familiar scent of approaching rain.
“Great, now to top it all off, I’m going to get soaked on the walk to my car,” Bellamy muttered under his breath. And then the rain started. “I better get going, the staff car park is miles away. So, again, I am honestly, really sorry for being an idiot. I hope you and your daughter –“
“Goddaughter,” Clarke quickly corrected him, unsure as to why she was so keen to establish this fact. Well, not completely unsure. Her painful singledom and the guy’s undeniable attractiveness were obviously messing around with her.
“Oh. Ok. Well, I hope you both take good care of the balloon for me.” Bellamy said, with a small smile that revealed some dimples in his cheeks, which Clarke suddenly had an inexplicable urge to kiss.
She sighed, finding it hard not to take pity on the guy who was about to get drenched, even if he had been an idiot. “Look, my car’s not far away. If you share your umbrella, we can go to my car and I’ll give you a lift to yours.”
“Really, you’re just going to help our a stranger who’s been nothing more than an idiot to you?”
“Well, you’re not really a stranger anymore, Bellamy,” Clarke said while looking pointedly down at his nametag. “I’m Clarke, by the way, and this is Rosalind.” Her goddaughter gave a small wave.
“Nice to meet you both,” Bellamy said while setting up his umbrella for the walk. Clarke was surprised to see a detailed illustration on the umbrella of what appeared to be gladiators.
They marched in silence for a minute or two, Rosalind holding Clarke’s hand and receiving the majority of protection from the rain, walking directly under the umbrella sandwiched between the two adults. “So what’s the story with the gladiators?” Clarke asked, never having been very comfortable with silences.
“Oh… Uh… I’m kind of what my friends would describe as a ‘history nerd’. I’m actually doing my PhD in it at the moment.”
“Wow, cool. I always enjoyed history at school, but was more a political studies girl myself.”
They again reached a silence, but now instead of being awkward, it felt comfortable. They continued on cuddled under the umbrella, the beat of their feet synchronised.
“So, this girl in Europe, is she your girlfriend?” Clarke tried to stop herself but the words just flew out of her mouth before she could. Smooth, obviously not fishing for information at all, she thought to herself.
“No. Sister.” Bellamy looked wistful. “She graduated from college and decided to go ‘find herself’ in Europe.”
“You miss her,” Clarke stated. It was written all over his face.
“Like crazy. And my best friend’s just followed his boyfriend to some amazing job opportunity across the other side of the country, and my social circle and sort of disappeared, so I guess I’m a bit…”
“Lonely?” Clarke cuts in.
“Yeah,” he softly agrees. “Possibly explains why I’m acting like an idiot, and then going and venting stupidly to the pretty girl who I was an idiot to.” Bellamy continues, looking down ashamedly. Clarke’s mouth formed an O at his description of her, then slowly melted into a small grin.
Clarke had expected the car ride to be full of uncomfortable silences, but was more than happy to be proved wrong. Conversation actually came easily. Clarke told Bellamy about the coffee shop where some of her art pieces were on display, and Bellamy told Clarke all about his sister, Octavia, and how he had basically raised her, and Rosalind told everyone about the mega awesome dinosaur robot she and her mum were building. So Clarke actually found herself feeling disappointed when Bellamy interrupted their conversation to say “My car’s just here, to the right.”
After Clarke pulled up next to Bellamy’s car, neither of them seemed to be in any rush to move.
“Well, I better get going. Thanks for the lift, and really, sorry again for being an ass,” Bellamy finally said.
“Wait just a moment,” Clarke stopped Bellamy and was met with an inquisitive look. She fumbled around until she found an old gas station receipt and a pen, and scribbled her number on it before handing it to Bellamy with a shy smile.
“What’s this?”
“In case you can’t find anyone to replace your so-called social circle. Seems like you’re kind of an asshole when you’re lonely, I wouldn’t want to be responsible for letting you continue like that. Besides, I might want company to watch the Aristocats.” Clarke smirked.
“Are you inviting me to Netflix and chill, Clarke?” Bellamy returned Clarke’s smirk in full force, cocking an eyebrow suggestively. It was amazing the comparison between this man with a sinful look on his face and the one who was crouching down earlier, spilling his heart out to a five-year-old. An amazing comparison, and one Clarke wouldn’t mind seeing more of.
“We’ll see.”
“I guess we will.”
#the 100 fanfiction#bellarke fanfiction#the 100 fanfic#the 100#bellarke#bellamy blake#clarke griffin#mine#bellarke whatsapp chat#my writing
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There is no reason why a $1,000 Chromebook should exist I don’t understand why high-end, expensive Chromebooks like the Pixelbook exist. They simply don’t make sense to me, as a consumer. I’m not sure what they’re meant for and I’m not sure who they’re made for. Editor's Pick Samsung, Asus working on high-end Chromebooks to take on Pixelbook — report Upgraded versions of the Samsung Chromebook Pro and Asus C302CA might soon make their debut and could take on Google’s Pixelbook, ChromeUnboxed reports. The two devices currently sport 4 GB of RAM and are powered by … Chrome OS is what runs on the Chromebook and it’s a nice little OS. It’s essentially a web browser that runs apps. There’s a lot more to it, but on a fundamental level, that is basically what Chrome OS was meant to be. It’s an extremely lightweight OS that can run smoothly on some of the cheapest hardware imaginable. Many of us have used old netbooks – tiny laptops that (barely) ran Windows, or sometimes Linux. I have one that runs Ubuntu (again, barely). Usage categories Statcrunch Facebook and Microsoft Word users comprise most of the web surfing population... For all their flaws, netbooks came about for a simple reason: many people just use their computers to browse the web and sometimes write Word documents. It was as true back then as it is today. The beautiful thing about this is it doesn’t take a whole lot of power to browse the web, update Facebook, or write a Word Document. Netbooks— a.k.a. cheap, crappy laptops— were just fine for most people. Now, it’s important to mention here, I’m talking about usage scenarios, not hardware. We’ll address this more in a bit. Go past that demographic, and there’s a large usage gulf before we get to the next set of users – the hardcore. I’m talking about the gamers, video makers, and sound editors— the power users. The most extreme among us are buying three-screened monstrosities with a gazillion pixels and more RAM than NASA. I consider myself something of a power user – I make videos and edit sound files and the like. If I had to buy a new laptop today, I’d be looking somewhere in the $1,500 – $2,000 range. Where does the Pixelbook fit? Remember that gulf I mentioned? There are sets of niche users in that web surfing population. Maybe they’re podcasters who need to record sound, but not edit it. Maybe they make hardcore PowerPoint presentations. But when designing a computer product, you’re going to look at the casual users and the hardcore users. There’s really no market for the in-between crowd. But apparently there is a market for a device like a high-end Chromebook. Google released its Pixelbook, starting at $999 and other OEMs are following suit with their own high-end hardware. Last I checked, companies tend not to develop a product unless there is some perceived need in the market. Too much power Much of that perceived need probably comes from the fact that $800 Dell computers are so popular. After all, if people are going out and buying computers like that, there must be a need in that arena right? Not so fast. Tech nerds, like myself, get all bedazzled by the Surface books, and the Macbooks that get waved in our face. In fact, the average price of computers sold has been going down. Two years ago, the average price of a PC sold was $544, down almost 40% from 2005. Some of that is attributed to PC components getting cheaper. Or perhaps people are realizing that they’re over buying on computers. Let’s consider another point, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2013 almost 10 percent of the computer owning population of the U.S. was using a handheld device only. That was in 2013. As of 2017, there are more mobile internet users in the world, than desktop users. Both of these points lead to one conclusion— people don’t need high-end hardware to do what they want to do. They’re still surfing Facebook and working on Office documents, just on their phones. Flash vs. Substance These high-end Chromebooks certainly look great. They have very nice specifications. But are beefed-up specs on a platform that was designed to not need beefed-up specs really necessary? More RAM? Chrome OS was designed to run on low-end hardware— it’s not necessary. More SSD space? Chrome OS was designed to work predominantly in the cloud— it’s not necessary. A better, higher resolution screen is about the only place where beefier specs make sense for a Chromebook. It’ll have prettier Netflix, at least. Are beefed-up specs on a platform that was designed to not need beefed-up specs really necessary? To be fair, if I had to put on my debate hat, I would argue that it’s in Google’s best interest to show off its PC operating system in the best light. So go ahead, throw it onto some high-end hardware that’ll grab attention for a news cycle or two. In that way, and that way only, the Pixelbook starts to make a little bit of sense. Or is Google hurting its own cause? If the computer using population is looking for a solution to serve their low-powered needs, and Chrome OS is designed to work well on low-powered hardware, perhaps that’s what Google should be showcasing, not a premium beast. Google should be putting a stranglehold on the low-power niche, and showing people that buying a $550 PC is a waste when a $300 Chromebook will do the job, and do it better. No need macOS and Windows are both robust operating systems with full catalogs of heavy-hitting apps. There certainly is a need for high-end PCs. I just laid out my particular use case above. But two different operating systems fill that high-end need quite adequately, with hardware to match. MacOS and Windows are both robust operating systems with full catalogs of heavy-hitting apps. The hardware on which they run has the chutzpah to get tasks done. Chrome OS has none of that. It has neither the maturity, nor the app catalog to justify catering to an audience like me. Chrome OS is still a lightweight operating system. Granted it has a much bigger app catalog now that some models can run Android apps, but even Android apps are not designed for hard-core tasks. They’re not supposed to be. You could consider installing CrossOver for the Chromebook. Will that help the app situation? Possibly. It’s still in beta, so it’s hard to make any definitive judgements. I will admit, it is promising though. So, when you look at the fact that people are buying cheaper computers, and they probably don’t need the high-end hardware in the first place, where does that leave the Pixelbook? It’s the very definition of a solution looking for a problem. Google would be much better off focusing on what Chrome OS does great – which is basically everything that most people are doing. Showcase that. , via Android Authority http://ift.tt/2yM3PDf
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Vizual Records’ Joshua Iz Talks About His Passion for Charity Work and Volunteerism
DJ Joshua Iz Shared What Inspires Him about Philanthropy, Music, and Culture
By Jordan Strong
Recently, we had the pleasure of teaming up with one of our favorite DJ/producers and people, Joshua Iz, AKA DJ Iz who has been a house music innovator since the ‘90s. Historically, as house music gained traction, Joshua’s music was some of the most sought after. Not only does he produce incredible music to this day, but currently holds residencies as a DJ in Chicago, San Francisco and London.
Last year, at the Detroit Music Festival, Give a Beat had a blast producing a game of Giant Jenga, where some of house music’s all star DJs competed against each other and people placed their bets on the winner. Joshua has been a major proponent of this and we couldn’t wait to do it with him again this year.
Jordan Strong: How long have you been involved with charity work and what is your experience with it?
Joshua Iz: I've tried to be involved locally in volunteering and supporting local causes. When I lived in San Francisco, I began teaching a DJ class to middle schoolers at a community center and that was really rewarding. That was probably my first direct experience. I couldn't find anything quite like that in Chicago but I started doing web development work for United Way of Metro Chicago which opened my eyes to the whole world of nonprofits. Through my connections at UWMC, I have had a lot of web development clients in the nonprofit space. While nonprofit organizations are, well, nonprofit, that doesn't mean I don't get paid to do my work. However, I do have nonprofit rates vs. my regular rates so in essence that is an in-kind donation.
How did you get involved with Give a Beat and what are you doing for them?
I've known Lauren Segal for many years but first got involved with Give a Beat last year leading up to Movement. Aside from donating small amounts, I played Giant Jenga last year and it was a lot of fun and seemed like a great way to get DJs and fans involved. This year, I don't think I will be able to play because of time constraints but in lieu of that I'm working on the signup website for the game and doing that for free.
Do you have any inspirational people, groups etc. when it comes to philanthropy?
Organizations like United Way of Metro Chicago and Chicago Commons both do a lot locally. While Chicago Commons helps individuals directly, United Way collects money from both individuals, corporations and employee campaigns and distributes that money to local organizations that do the most good. In that way they are different models but both can have great impact.
Globally, organizations like Médecins Sans Frontières (Doctors Without Borders) and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation are quite inspiring. There are several foundations giving microloans to people in the developing world and these are having a huge impact as well.
Still, there are many more inspirational organizations and people doing miraculous things in every community so it's hard to narrow it down to just a few.
What would you like to see more of when it comes to philanthropy?
Even though Americans are the most generous people on earth when it comes to giving to charities, I think more people should volunteer in their own communities. I should do more, too.
What’s new with your music? Releases, mixes, tours, etc.? What can we look out for?
Diz and I have recorded a new album called 'Fort Nightly' that should be out sometime this year. I have quite a few releases on Vizual Records coming as well. Beyond that, we are planning a big fall tour as we speak.
Who are your current musical inspirations? Who should we look out for or check out?
Some of my favorites right now are Max Graef, Frits Wetnink and Eli Escobar. All that said, there are lots of great new people making music from all over the world.
What do you like most about the current state of affairs with house music? Least?
With the proliferation of technology, this has democratized the music creation process so it has made it easy for anyone with an idea to make music. Overall, I think that is a great thing and given a voice to many more people. This is also a problem as there is way too much crappy music. People still need to work and pay their dues.
Probably the thing I like least is the rise of the Instagram DJ. People get hired now almost solely on the basis of the number of social media followers, without any regard to whether they can actually DJ and put a set together. While I believe the cream still rises to the top, people are getting huge bookings with little or no talent and it doesn't seem to matter. This trend can't end soon enough.
Any advice for the younger generation of DJ/producers?
Practice, know your history, and host a night in your hometown. All of these things will make you a better DJ and producer.
Where do you like to shop for music these days?
Mostly Traxsource but I still like to buy vinyl at Gramaphone and at record shops when I'm traveling.
What’s your advice on living through the Donald Trump era?
Consume a lot of news from different sources and yet be critical of where the news comes from. I think actual journalism is needed more than ever and it's important to place value in objective facts.
It's also important to participate in the democratic process, especially locally. More people need to vote and get involved with local government.
One thing people can do (and I've considered it), is moving to a red state and becoming active in the political process there. While there was a lot of talk about 'urban educated elites' living in a bubble in the cities after the election, I don't think there is anything wrong with living in a city or being educated. New York City or Chicago is just as much 'Real America' as anywhere else.
More broadly, I think we need more compassion and more love in the world so in this sense we need more philanthropists in the sense of people spreading goodwill. As Americans, we need to listen to each other and at least try to understand others' points of view without the vitriol.
Is there anyone or anything special politically or socially you’d advise people to check out?
I think women more than any other group have stepped up and asserted themselves in the wake of Donald Trump so they have been a point of light of late.
Are there any current books, articles, people, webisodes or anything you think people should see?
“Chef's Table” and “Abstract” on Netflix are really inspiring series’. I also quite liked The Expanse on SyFy — about as good as it gets for science fiction on television.
The last great book I read was “The Hidden Life of Trees,” by Peter Wohlleben, which will change the way you look at the forest and life in general. Highly recommended.
Check out his Sound Cloud! It’s a treasure trove!
Back in the late nineties, at a now legendary event called Melodic, Iz dropped this set! For those who were there, you can remember just how special this set was. We were lucky enough to have the event producer Alvaro Castro post for us online for the first time ever so we could share it with you!
Follow Joshua Iz on Twitter or check him out at Vizual Records, Bionic [SF], and Myspace.
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The worst 10 movies of 2016
2016 was really the year of stinkers than it was for good movies. Fortunately, I knew to stay away from most of them. If the trailer reveals too much and it’s so star-studded and CGI driven it almost looks stupid (because it is); then check yourself before you wreck yourself; do NOT watch those movies. The movies I called to be stinkers that I did not see and friends told me they did stink are:
Passengers
Assassin’s Creed
Now You See Me 2
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2
Mother’s Day
Zoolander 2
Ghostbusters: Answer the Call (total reboot, yet Sigourney Weaver, Dan Akroyd, Bill Murray, and Ernie Hudson all appear in the film as different characters; stupid.)
INDEPENDENCE DAY 2: RESURGENCE: If Will Smith said no to it to do Suicide Squad (TOTAL STINKER) instead, then it had to be bad.
The 5th Wave
The Divergent Series: Allegiant: Before the third installment to this less than mediocre franchise released, Lionsgate announced they were selling the rights to Disney and were going to release the final film (4th and 5th installment) as a TV season with a whole new cast…yea, no thanks.
Warcraft
London Has Fallen
Gods of Egypt
Max Steel
Noticing a trend here folks?
Every movie with the exception of Passengers is not original. Either a sequel to a mediocre movie, or a movie based on videogame or teen novel. Do not waste your time on these films. They are crap, all of them, no matter who is in them.
Yea, I love Jennifer Lawrence, Chris Pratt, Jeff Goldblum, and Mark Ruffalo; but that’s what Marvel movies are for folks!
The following top 10 list is based on what I saw! Again a few of these movies were not terrible, just not the best. #9 and #10 were movies that I could have waited for TV and/or Netflix.
10. X-Men: Apocalypse 3 Stars (7.1/10 on IMDB, 48% on Rotten Tomatoes)
Not a terrible movie, not the worst in the X-Men franchise; just not the best. With the follow up to the BEST X-Men film (Days of Future Past), and the second film in the X-Men Cinematic Universe in 2016 (Deadpool being the first), there were high expectations on this film. It just didn’t meet them.
Apocalypse is not The Last Stand or X-Men Origins: Wolverine; it is not flat out terrible. It just did not meet anyone’s expectations. Oscar Isaac; as good as he is, played a terrible villain, which is so disappointing because he was so good in 2015’s Ex-Machina. Fassbender’s Magneto is still so kick ass as well as Lawrence’s Mystique. Hugh Jackman has hands down the best five minutes in the entire movie. And the post-credits scene was a very exciting set up to March 2017’s Logan. Again: not a bad movie! Just not the greatest. There was WAY too much CGI and WAY too much 1963 Batmanesque cheese lines. Same bat-time, same bat-channel, lots of crap like that. I would wait for this to come out on FX in 2018 to watch. The only reason I would watch is continuity to set up Hugh Jackman’s finale in this beloved franchise; Logan.
9. The Secret Life of Pets 2.75 Stars (6.6/10 on IMDB, 74% on Rotten Tomatoes)
Great airplane movie or TV movie. Not missing much if you don’t watch on rental or in theaters. I love animated films, and some great ones came out in 2016, but this movie just tried too hard in all the wrong places. Kevin Hart’s bunny was over the top as expected, no problem there, but Jenny Slate again in an animated film with animals who can talk? Really Illumination? You want to be Zootopia that bad? And you want to try AGAIN with Sing? It’s pretty pathetic. You’re going to get Albert Brooks to voice a character too (Marlon in Finding Nemo/Dory) The placement advertisement for NBC/Universal shows and movies like Fallon, Saturday Night Live, Seinfeld, The Voice and a blatant movie poster on a public transportation bus for Sing was so shriekingly stupid, I wanted to hold my middle finger up to screen. The good sides of this movie was that the dog characters were cute and the animation was good. That’s it. Illumination should wait a little longer before branching out of Despicable Me and Minions. I wouldn’t have seen this movie in theaters or on iTunes. Wait for Redbox and if you can on TV in 2018 folks.
8. Me Before You 2 Stars (7.5/10 on IMDB, 58% on Rotten Tomatoes)
I love Emilia Clarke, but she cannot choose a good film script to save her life. This movie makes me have very low expectations for the standalone Han Solo film due out in 2018. What a piece of crap this move is. What a piece of crap this story is. SPOILER ALERT: she fails at motivating the guy to live and love again. He commits suicide and gives her money in his will. What kind of a story is that? Why the hell would anyone want to read or watch this trash?
The acting felt like a chick-flick/rom-com with these two young up and coming actors, but the story just did not help. A matured and handsome Neville Longbottom was about the only upside of this movie. Lord Tywin Lannister himself (Charles Dance) couldn’t even deliver. This movie was trash. Wife hated the ending. I quote her saying “The end makes me want that two hours back.” There you go folks. If you like depressing romantic movies with lifetime movie/porno acting and no happy ending, this is your film! If not, don’t bother.
7. The Huntsman: Winter’s War 2 Stars (6.1/10 Stars on IMDB, 17% on Rotten Tomatoes)
I originally thought Snow White and the Huntsman would not have been garbage if it wasn’t for Kristen Stewart’s fugly frozen face with no emotion. I was wrong. The Huntsman was an even bigger turd. This movie was set up as a prequel/sequel to its predecessor. Yea, I know it doesn’t make sense, it didn’t work on screen either. I had to Wikipedia what exactly happened with the story after I finished the movie. This was another movie with too many A-listers and CGI to be any good. This movie was Warner Brothers throwing more money in the garbage to compete with Disney’s live action remakes. Warner Brothers takes another loss with their comic book universe (OH WE WILL BE GOING THERE TOO). Do not waste your time with this movie. Doesn’t go down as one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen because Jessica Chastain and Emily Blunt are just too good for that; but I prefer you just to watch Zero Dark Thirty and Sicario a second time than to waste your time with this turd.
6. Alice Through the Looking Glass 1.5 Stars (6.3/10 on IMDB, 30% on Rotten Tomatoes)
With Disney doing 16 films in 2016, surely not all of them were destined for greatness. Alice was the rotten one of the bunch. Another sequel/reboot to a mediocre film, Alice Through the Looking Glass was crappy CGI thrown up all over the silver screen with good costumes! I got it; it’s Attack of the Clones II! Horrible, horrible, horrible. 2016 may be the worst year of Johnny Depp’s life. With his mother’s death, his divorce, and his ex-wife’s domestic-abuse accusations, I don’t see how promoting this crap film made 2016 any better. I’m praying for big things for Johnny in 2017 (Seriously); I pray his career is resurrected with the fifth Pirates film, he enjoys touring with Alice Cooper and his super-group, and he has some a new year’s resolution to drop off some beer weight like myself. One of the worst of 2016, this film is not one you want to waste your time or money on.
5. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice 1 Star (6.7/10 on IMDB, 27% on Rotten Tomatoes)
What a piece of crap. This movie was worse than Daredevil (2003), worse than Batman & Robin, worse than Punisher: War Zone, worse than Fantastic 4 (2015), worse than Ghost Rider. Yes, I need to say more. Screw Zack Snyder (director). Honestly, what a douchebag for making me hate a movie that comes out in modern day with all the brilliant actors and incredible technology and source content we have. Batman is my all time favorite character. I’ve been watching him as far as I can remember; since I could not walk. And Zack Snyder ruined every piece of what could have been good with this movie. To all of your Burton/Keaton fans, Campy Adam West fans, and Batman TAS fans; I’ve had enough of your garbage; Christian Bale’s performance and Christopher Nolan’s trilogy is the best on screen Batman ever. When we have something like that…why would you try to reboot it only 4 years later? And especially to not give Batman his own movie first…you put him in a Man of Steel sequel; it’s really offensive. All Batman fans should be offended by this turd of a movie. Superman has yet to have a fantastic live action movie. So why group Batman with that mess? It pisses me off. Henry Cavill’s Clark Kent reminds me of Hayden Christensen’s Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars Episodes II and III; such a whiny little wuss. Bro, YOU ARE FREAKING SUPERMAN; stop whining about why nobody likes you. Bro (Hayden Christensen), YOU ARE FREAKING DARTH VADER; stop whining about sand!
Ben Affleck does make a good Bruce Wayne; but his Batman costume is just the worst. Drawn on abs. Really? Bring back the nipples too please. As you can tell, I’m not going to see Justice League Part 1 due out in November or the Batfleck standalone. I’m done with DC. I’m done with WB for firing Nolan. My allegiance is with Disney-Marvel’s MCU, they haven’t disappointed me yet. If you want beautiful comic driven visuals, this movie has it. But, no one wants JUST THAT for 3 hours. Go smoke a bowl and read your comics instead, it’ll probably have the same effect.
4. Suicide Squad 1 Star (6.4/10 on IMDB, 26% on Rotten Tomatoes)
Gosh I hate the DCEU. I love the source content so much for me to rank this as #1 worst of 2016, but if it wasn’t for that, I would say this may be the worst movie I have ever seen. It’s hands down, the most disappointing movie I have ever seen. I knew Batman v Superman would suck, but I thought this movie would revive the DCEU, I was wrong. Warner Bros. marketed this entire film around Jared Leto’s Joker. And Jared Leto promoted the film centered on his character. WB made Leto’s character a measly cameo. Yes folks, in this 2 hour and 17 minute movie, Joker has 7 minutes of screen time. And it was 7 minutes too long. His character had nothing to do with the actual Suicide Squad other than Harley’s origin. Will Smith’s Deadshot was the real protagonist of the movie. It centered around him. So we get another Will Smith stinker. Yea guys, let’s be honest, Will Smith sucks now. He raised his son to be the biggest abomination to ever come out of Hollywood, and he has not done a good film in a decade (I Am Legend). His character was another (aw hell naw) felt misplaced, and Smith’s attempt to be gangsta, when he just isn’t. Your Hitch bro, just stop.
Margot Robbie is too hot to not watch this movie. Of course we all saw it, and we cannot admit that it sucks because of her. She is one of my favorite up and coming young actresses and she absolutely kills this role. She did such a good job it’s hard for me to rank this movie as the worst of 2016. The problems with this movie; where do I start? The marketing, the amount of plot holes, the villain, a character they literally created to kill off, the reason Joker was even in the movie, the ZERO respect they had for truly representing the source content for Harley and Joker’s relationship. Harley is supposed to a commodity/accessory to Joker’s madness and that’s it. But they made Harley Joker’s girlfriend and it just didn’t work. It also does not help that Jared Leto had to follow up to Heath Ledger. Ledger’s performance is arguably the greatest villain of all time. Leto was tatted gangster that wore make up and chains; that’s it. Not crazy nor sadistic, nor chaotic or psychotic; just a gangster. His character was a complete and utter joke. If you love the source material too much to not watch this film, I understand, if you just want to see Margot Robbie in short shorts and high heels and kick ass, I understand; but if you want to be entertained, do not watch this movie.
3. Sausage Party 1 Star. (6.4/10 on IMDB, 84% on Rotten Tomatoes)
For the record, I did not watch this film by choice, my wife rented it, and I watched it after I finished Hell or High Water. My ignorance got the best of me in that I knew nothing about it. And, I mean come on, Rotten Tomatoes gave it an 84%, how could it be bad?
Oh my gosh. Where do I start? The amount of childish sexual innuendos makes this movie look Donald Trump look like the Pope. This movie is full of “locker room talk.” This movie is point-blank offensive, immature, and stupid. And it was written by Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill; go figure. The animation is nothing great, the humor is cheap, not anything creative or new. Rogen’s attempts at making me laugh is quickly dying. Cussing, pot, and sexual humor gets old quickly. You cannot make the same movie over and over and put it in a different box and wrap with a nice shiny bow filled with a-listers. Seth Rogen must be stopped. This Is the End was the last movie he’s done that has made me laugh. The nostalgia of Pineapple Express, Freaks and Geeks, and Knocked Up is the only reason that movie caught my attention. This movie, I had no desire to see. Wife grabbed it at Redbox without my knowledge and I walked in on her watching it. I’d honestly rather walk in on her watching porn, at least we can have a good conversation from it. This movie was just a big “why?” She didn’t have an answer, and neither would I if I were in her shoes.
It is an R-rated animated movie with A-listers which is ironic, since we 99% see the opposite when it comes to the source content (G and Disney for dummies). Don’t see this movie, you’ll thank me for it.
2. Quentin Tarantino’s 8th film .5 Star (really his 11th, I know the guy can’t count) The Hateful Eight (7.9/10 on IMDB, 75% on Rotten Tomatoes)
Tarantino said he would make 10 films and be done. He said this is the eighth BECAUSE: Kill Bills Vol 1 and Vol 2 is counted as 1, he’s not counting Death Proof as it fell under the “Grindhouse” 2 film presentation with Robert Rodriguez, and he is not counting his very first film starring himself. So, I’m hoping he doesn’t do any more stupid little projects and speed up to 10 so we can rid him from Hollywood.
Tarantino is over the top, he exaggerates reality making his own one, apparently all of his films are in the same “universe.” I don’t think Tarantino has given me any smiles since Inglorious Basterds. Another movie with Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Madsen, Tim Roth, and Walter Goggins, this movie with over the top bloody scenes did nothing for me. At least Django and Kill Bill were action packed, at least Inglorious Basterds had an incredible cast and was hilarious. I love that he used an Italian composer to try as hard as he could to make it feel like a spaghetti western; but it didn’t.
The whole movie takes place in a room, that’s right…in a room folks. Lots of blood, lots of not-so-mysterious mystery and lots of famous faces. This movie was like Tarantino was parodying his own genre of movies. It was so freaking dumb that it just pissed me off. Came out on New Year’s Day 2016, it kicked off what would be a pretty hateful year for many. Do not waste three hours of your time with this movie. You will want it back.
1. The Lobster .25 Star (7.1/10 on IMDB, 90% on Rotten Tomatoes)
Sometimes you cannot trust Rotten Tomatoes. Nine out of Ten times they are right, this was the one time they were wrong. Top three worst movies I have ever seen in my life. This movie is a witty Cohen Brothers-esque adult version of The Hunger Games that was just plain weird. No, it was not funny, no it was not creative. It’s stupid. But guess what fam; STUPID GETS GOLDEN GLOBE AND OSCAR NOMINATIONS these days! Be honest with yourselves; if you saw it, HBO’s The Normal Heart was not good or well-acted. But in today’s day and age if you make a movie about gay people, you’re getting an Oscar nod. So, I guess now if you make a movie about something that’s just weird and stupid, you’ll get one too.
Here’s the synopsis: In a near-future’d dystopian world, to prevent over-populating, if you do not find a husband or wife at a certain age, you check into a hotel where you are forced to meet one in two months, if you don’t your body well be shredded an recycled for research and you will be turned into an animal (but not really, they will kill you, they just tell you that so you agree to the “transformation,” ie execution).
Yes, it is as stupid as it sounds. I never even finished the movie, I wikied the rest when there was about 25 minutes left, it wasn’t worth the rest of my valuable time.
I write this blog not to vent on how bad movies are, but I know YOUR time is valuable and it should be treated that way, not with garbage movies. Please take my word. I hope this blog was helpful. Please follow, like, share, comment! Bigger and better films to come in 2017! I will be your source! I have about 10 more films of 2016’s I will review before I crossover into 2017; stay tuned for those blogs!
Thanks guys!
Z
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A24 Horror Movies Ranked From Worst to Best
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It is arguable that no studio, distributor, or production company has had a greater impact on the horror genre in the last decade than A24. While Jason Blum’s Blumhouse Productions might also lay claim to that legacy, the remarkable thing about A24 is the company lacks a particular house style or formula for its filmmaker-driven indie releases. And yet the words “A24 horror movie” call to mind words like weird, offbeat, and unsettling. They’re frequently slow-boiling, and almost always greeted with reviews celebrating high-quality.
Every A24 horror movie is distinct, but they nevertheless claim a mystique which in less than 10 years has helped some critics make the dubious claim that the 2010s were “the decade of elevated horror.” We personally don’t subscribe to the theory that horror is a caste system of “elevated” vintages vs. cheaper swill. However, we are ecstatic A24 and other companies have provided unique voices the ability to reveal profoundly artful interpretations of cinematic dread. For that reason, we’re celebrating the indie tastemakers by ranking their very best (and sometimes not-so-great) thrillers and chillers.
So sit back and join us for a list voted on by our critics and horror aficionados.
18. Tusk (2014)
We begin our countdown with the rare A24 horror movie that comes not from a new perspective, but an old, one-time favorite. A defining voice in comedy and indie filmmaking during the ‘90s, Kevin Smith drifted away from studios by the beginning of the 2010s in favor of trying his hand at horror. I wish I could say the results were better than Tusk, yet this dispiriting attempt at body horror might be the high-point of his latter day monster movies.
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Movies
Why Kevin Smith’s Superman Lives Was Ahead of Its Time
By Mike Cecchini
Originally constructed as a joke on Smith’s Smodcast podcast, the finished film is every bit as listless and rambling as a weed-fueled diatribe. Not that the movie is lacking in talent. Justin Long makes an appropriately smarmy podcaster named Wallace Bryton who’s travelled to Canada to find oddballs to interview and mock, but gets more than he bargained for when he winds up in the home of Howard Howe (Michael Parks). Ever the scenery-chewer, Parks gives more gravitas to the material than it deserves as a shut-in obsessed with recreating from a human subject the walrus which saved his life one snowy night following a shipwreck. The subsequent makeup effects are grotesque, but the movie stumbles over their reveals like a standup comedian who’s forgotten the punchlines.
It’s a bizarre and repellent narrative, and can’t even be saved by Johnny Depp’s admittedly amusing French-Canadian accent and Peter Sellers-eque transformation as a late arriving police detective. – David Crow
17. Slice (2018)
Austin Vesely’s Slice plays like the pilot of a potential television series. This isn’t because when it’s over you wish there was more, but that the film is so muddled in its narrative threads that you’re sure it was cancelled before more talent could be wasted. It’s a shame because conceptually there is a lot of appeal in Slice’s setup. As a horror-comedy about a small town where ghosts walk among the living as second class citizens, witches are pushy real estate developers, and the local werewolf is a misjudged Chinese food-delivering vegan played by Chance the Rapper, on paper this reads as hilarious.
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Movies
Best Horror Movies to Watch on Shudder Right Now
By Rosie Fletcher and 1 other
TV
Buffy: The Animated Series – The Buffy the Vampire Slayer Spin-Off That Never Was
By Caroline Preece
Unfortunately, the actual film is paper thin. Loosely following a series of murders inflicted on a crappy pizza joint’s deliverymen, the film never unties its tangled and knotted threads about ghosts and humans living side by side, or witches manipulating local city politics in a bid for demonic gentrification. And more damning than its Gateway to Hell is that none of this is very funny. At only 83 minutes, Slice feels like an eternity of waiting for a pizza that never arrives. – DC
16. In Fabric (2018)
When it comes to horror movies, A24 has certainly done its best to (mostly) steer away from the traditional tropes of vampires, zombies, werewolves, and masked killers. As a result, the company has attracted talent like British filmmaker Peter Strickland, who followed up the atmospheric Berberian Sound Studio (2012) and the erotic The Duke of Burgundy (2014) with this bizarre tale of a haunted dress.
The clothing item in question is a red number that passes from one owner to another, leaving a trail of death and destruction in its wake. Fortunately, Strickland plays a lot of this for laughs, smartly realizing that a sentient dress might test the patience of even the most diehard horror fan. The film is a slow burn, but Strickland finds just the right balance of weird humor and surreal horror to wring both laughs and genuinely eerie moments out of his odd premise. – Don Kaye
15. The Monster (2016)
Bryan Bertino’s The Monster is a strange one to include on this list, if only because at its heart this is an archetypal creature feature with little more to say than “boo.” Compared to other horror movies released by A24 this can seem slight, but when The Monster works, its boo is occasionally bloodcurdling.
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Movies
Katharine Isabelle on How Ginger Snaps Explored the Horror of Womanhood
By Rosie Fletcher
TV
BBC/Netflix Dracula’s Behind-the-Scenes Set Secrets
By Louisa Mellor
Centered on a mother and daughter trapped at night on a country road with an obscured beastie in the woods trying to get into their broken down car, The Monster could’ve been produced as B-schlock in the ‘80s. Why it’s better is twofold: First the film leans into its atmospheric use of shadows and silhouettes by cinematographer Julie Kirkwood—who takes Steven Spielberg’s “less is more” approach in framing the monster—and second, there is the headlong dive into the unpleasant by Zoe Kazan. Playing a young mother who has little interest in her daughter or her well-being, Kazan’s Cathy reveals in one flashback at a time a cruel apathy far more beleaguering than the attacks of the titular monster in the present.
Alas the third act turns into pure pulp when the creature comes out of the shadows, and the cast and body count are needlessly increased. Still, the effect of some of the attack scenes, and Kazan’s nuanced exploration of a mother who fails to impress even herself, makes The Monster worthwhile. – DC
14. The Hole in the Ground (2019)
Being a single parent is hard. Being a single parent is harder when your child suddenly turns into a monster and you have to deal with the consequences. Such is the plot of The Hole in the Ground, A24’s solid but vaguely underwhelming chiller.
Lee Cronin’s debut may hit all the right parental panic beats, summon up a couple of worthy performances, and stick the mysterious, open-ended landing, but it still suffers compared to other A24 efforts because genre fans have seen it all before. As the film slaps a slick coat of paint over its influences, from Don’t Look Now to The Babadook and beyond, it elevates its fairly standard ‘changeling child’ theme, but in doing so it also gives us way too much room to breathe when we should be suffocating under the weight of tension between Seána Kerslake’s spiralling mother and her demonic son.
The result? A middling horror that you’re more likely to describe as “quite good” rather than “great.” – Kirsten Howard
13. Life After Beth (2014)
When a relationship is over, it’s over and it’s never the same if you go back: This is the central theme of Life After Beth, a zombie comedy about moving on. Dane DeHaan stars as Zach, a boy devastated after the death of his girlfriend Beth (Aubrey Plaza). But when she unexpectedly returns from the dead things just don’t quite click. Is it because the relationship has run its course? Or is it that she’s gradually turning into a flesh hungry undead monster? Either way things can’t carry on…
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Movies
Zombie Comedies Ranked
By David Crow
TV
The Walking Dead vs. Real-Life Survivalists: How to Prep for The Zombie Apocalypse
By Ron Hogan
A light comedy with a strong supporting cast (Molly Shannon, John C Reilly, Anna Kendrick, Paul Reiser) Life After Beth made its debut at Sundance in 2014. Though zombie rom-coms are somewhat a dime a dozen these days, this one stands out for its performances and certain set pieces like zombie Beth hiking with an oven strapped to her back. – Rosie Fletcher
12. The Blackcoat’s Daughter (2015)
As what I would argue is the most underrated horror gem in A24’s catalog, The Blackcoat’s Daughter is a wicked subversion of horror tropes that benefits from the less you know about its story. Suffice to say the film is a slow-burning march toward perdition told in triptych. With three protagonists, first-time writer-director Oz Perkins seamlessly drifts between the perspectives of Kat (Kiernan Shipka), Rose (Lucy Boynton), and Joan (Emma Roberts).
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Movies
Gretel & Hansel and Returning to Dark Fairy Tale Roots
By Don Kaye
Movies
Best Modern Horror Movies
By Don Kaye
It is easy to see how the first two intersect, with Kat and Rose being the only two girls at their Catholic boarding school whose parents haven’t come to pick them up for winter break. How their long weekend connects with Joan’s separate hitchhiking through a snowy stretch of America is not immediately clear, but the bubbling sense of despair in all three narratives is omnipresent, even before Rose gives it shape by mentioning the urban legend of nuns worshiping the Dark One in the boiler room below.
The Blackcoat’s Daughter trades in horror archetypes, but then digs deeper by revealing untapped, feminine complexities to previously well-worn narratives where young women are merely vessels or victims. Unspooling like a waking nightmare, Perkins’ dreamlike atmosphere is only for the patient, but the climax is so shocking and brazenly subversive that it demands to be reexamined as the full extent of its desolation becomes clear. – DC
11. Climax (2018)
One could argue that every one of the five feature films directed by Argentine filmmaker Gaspar Noe, including such controversy-courting titles as I Stand Alone, Irreversible, and Enter the Void, has been a horror film in some way. Noe’s movies are often filled with nihilism, despair, and existential dread, with even the act of sex portrayed as an often violent invasion instead of an expression of love.
Having said that, Climax is clearly Noe’s most formal attempt at the genre yet, as a troupe of dancers isolated at an abandoned school begin to suffer from the effects of punch spiked with LSD during an after-rehearsal party. Predictably, the wheels quickly come off as the assembled dancers rape, beat, torture, and kill each other throughout the horrifying, increasingly frenzied night. – DK
10. Saint Maud (2020)
The directorial debut of Rose Glass sees a pious young nurse (Morfydd Clarke) who believes God talks to her directly, on a mission to save the soul of her dying patient (Jennifer Elhe). Saint Maud is a mix of psychological, religious, and body horror against the setting of a run down seaside town which plays like hallucinogenic social realism.
Clarke as Maud is terrific–slight of frame with a troubled mind, she is still a fierce warrior doing what she believes is God’s work from the humble hovel of her home. While Maud punishes her body in service of her spirit, her patient, Amanda, celebrates hers while it lets her down. As a former dancer, she will drink, smoke, and love in her final days.
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Movies
The Scariest Films Ever Made and How They Frighten Us
By Matt Glasby
Movies
Saint Maud Review: Elevated Horror That’s a Revelation
By Rosie Fletcher
Glass’ debut is beautiful and powerful with a score, visuals, and setting that all contribute to a sense of disquiet that grows to a euphoric/horrific conclusion. An unforgettable film that singles Glass out as absolutely one to watch. – RF
9. It Comes at Night (2017)
The exact nature, origin, and spread of the grisly infectious disease that shreds society to pieces in It Comes at Night is never deeply examined; the movie is not interested in exploring the end of the world on some epic scale. Instead the effect it has is on a very small, very frightened group of people–two families that include Joel Edgerton, Christopher Abbott, Riley Keough, and Carmen Ejogo among their dwindling ranks–who are trying their best to stay alive and sane.
In that sense, the title of the movie (and, to a degree, the way it was marketed) is somewhat misleading. What comes at night is not some rampaging horde of flesh-eating walking corpses but rather the cold, insidious effect of fear, grief, and distrust. These two invisible threats eat away at what’s left of our civilized selves.
Director Trey Edward Shults (Waves) spares nothing and no one in this grim fable; by the time it reaches its inconsolably bleak conclusion, the cumulative effect of this quiet, bare bones film is devastating. – DK
8. Enemy (2013)
Before he tackled science fiction epics like Blade Runner 2049 and the upcoming Dune, French-Canadian director Denis Villeneuve made smaller, independent dramas and psychological thrillers. One of those was Enemy, which stars Jake Gyllenhaal in a double role as two men who are exactly the same physically but quite different in temperament and personality.
Based loosely on the novel The Double by Jose Saramago (who wrote the horrifying novel Blindness), Enemy is less a horror film and more an exercise in neo-noirish surrealism. It’s anchored by Villeneuve’s chilly direction and two excellent performances from Gyllenhaal, who deftly explores the definition of manhood, the male-female dynamic (as he navigates the wife of one man and the girlfriend of the other), and the nature of identity.
Enemy doesn’t offer easy answers and its shocking ending is very much open to wide interpretation. It’s a challenging early work from a director who’s now moved on to become one of cinema’s most ambitious science fiction auteurs. – DK
7. Under the Skin (2013)
Jonathan Glazer’s loose adaptation of Michel Faber’s novel is a strange beast to be sure. Developed over more than a decade, using several first time performers with scenes shot with hidden cameras, it stars Scarlett Johansson as a predatory alien scouring the Scottish countryside, picking up men that she then lures into a strange black liquid which consumes them.
It’s a convincing look at humanity through the eyes of an extraterrestrial, in all its oddness–from the kindness of girls in nightclubs, the utterly futile act of a man trying to save his drowning wife, and in doing so ending both their lives, to the idiosyncrasies of beans on toast and Tommy Cooper. Johansson is a revelation, going unrecognized in her interactions with real people, bringing an authenticity and later an aching sympathy to her performance.
If the ending is bleak, and there are moments of true horror, there’s levity here too, as well as something quite profound to be said about human nature. – RF
6. The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)
Greek filmmaker Yorgos Lanthimos–already a purveyor of the weird, surreal and darkly satiric before this or The Favourite, as seen with 2016’s The Lobster–went into full horror mode for this relentlessly unsettling tale of supernatural revenge in which a surgeon (Colin Farrell), his wife (Nicole Kidman), and their kids are made to pay for the death of a man who Farrell lost during surgery.
The impetus of all this is the man’s son, Martin, played by Barry Keoghan in one of the most disturbing performances of recent years. Farrell and Kidman are equally unnerving as their purposely stilted work in the early part of the film gives way to show the cracks in their seemingly perfect family façade.
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The Killing of a Sacred Deer is horror at its purest: an unexplainable examination of what happens when the irrational intrudes on the rational. It leaves you rattled without a single jump scare or visual effect. – DK
5. Green Room (2015)
Writer/director Jeremy Saulnier followed up his excellent breakout feature, 2013’s Blue Ruin, with this taut, suspenseful and dread-inducing thriller set in the grimy, sweaty environs of an out-of-the-way punk rock club. There, a hardcore group on a micro-budget tour of the Pacific Northwest manage to grab a make-up gig after their original show is canceled, but find to their horror that the bar is a white supremacist hangout… and they’ve just witnessed a murder to boot.
It’s not surprising that Saulnier rings maximum tension out of the situation since Blue Ruin was such an accomplished piece of work. What is surprising is seeing Captain Picard himself, Patrick Stewart, playing the local neo-Nazi leader with such believable, low-key malevolence. The rest of the cast, including the sadly missed Anton Yelchin and the always reliable Imogen Poots, is equally effective in making this an exceptionally smart, intense roller coaster ride. – DK
4. Midsommar (2019)
Emerging director Ari Aster made two very different horror movies for A24 virtually back-to-back with Hereditary and Midsommar, and was vocal about the mental and emotional breakdown that ensued thanks to this near-impossible endeavor. Accordingly, Midsommar evolved into what could be considered a “difficult second album,” one which managed to exorcise some of his personal demons for both the entertainment and discomfort of an intrigued audience.
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This ambitious, unsettling masterpiece about one young woman’s struggle to process trauma while she is simultaneously expected to perform the emotional labor of holding together a substandard relationship became a visual flipside to Hereditary’s darkness, creating a bright, horrifying world full of flowers, lush green pastures, and organic pagan rituals that all combine delicately to present us with a piping hot mug of “good for her” energy.
Though the argument over whether Hereditary or Midsommar is the superior film will probably never end, this often-hallucinogenic folk tale isn’t just one of A24’s best horror projects, but one of the greatest horror movies of all time, period. – KH
3. The Lighthouse (2019)
“How long have we been on this rock?” It’s a simple question posed by one lighthouse keeper (or “wicke”) to another in Robert Eggers’ The Lighthouse. But as anyone who’s viewed the movie can attest, its answer is nigh unknowable. Eggers’ follow-up to The Witch is as phallic as that first movie was feminine, as evidenced by the titular structure that old seaman Thomas Wake (Willem Dafoe) constantly demands his new second Ephraim (Robert Pattinson) keep scrubbed clean.
Filmed in black and white, and in a 1.19:1 aspect ratio—similar to what Fritz Lang used to shoot Expressionist serial killer movie M (1931)—The Lighthouse is steeped in the old ways of doing things, both as a piece of cinema and as a sea shanty of a tale. As writers, Robert and his brother Max Eggers revel in the nautical jargon of their characters, particularly Dafoe’s Wake, who is like a corncob pipe given legs. Yet Dafoe and Pattinson never descend into caricature; they instead feast on their Sisyphean characters.
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More esoteric and ambiguous than The Witch, some might defy categorizing The Lighthouse as a full-throated horror. But the picture’s haunting ghost story setup and heightened use of both claustrophobic interiors and barren exteriors beg to differ, as do the film’s final Lovecraftian overtures toward madness. A masterful exercise in the macabre and hellish, The Lighthouse confirms Eggers as one of the most interesting voices to emerge from his generation. – DC
2. The Witch (2015)
To fully appreciate The Witch, it must be made clear that there’s a literal witch in the woods. Writer-director Robert Eggers emphasizes this early on, allowing the audience to glimpse her scraggly and unholy shape as the crone sacrifices a newborn to Satan. This not only signals the movie is playing for keeps, it also removes any sort of psychological ambiguity about what’s going on.
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Intensely committed to immersing audiences in the daily lives and nocturnal dreads of 17th century Puritans, The Witch is steeped in a deep-seated anxiety for supernatural entities that could poison your crops, or live in every bump heard in the black of night. With a meticulous eye for historical detail, Eggers creates the best cinematic approximation of Calvinists ever put to screen, and in so doing, allows viewers to both live with superstitions of the Dark One taking the shape of animals, and to judge those obsessed with him.
For The Witch is also an unnerving character study about a family disintegrating before our eyes, and allowing their biases and patriarchal repressions to lead them toward the damnation. With a captivating ensemble of actors, including a star-making turn by Anya Taylor-Joy as Thomasin, the Puritan who is desperate to remain pure, the film basks in its dexterity with early modern English. All of which heightens the tension until a transcendent third act, which can rightly be read as an embrace of despair or liberated ecstasy, depending on who you ask. More than just a great horror movie, The Witch is flatly one of the best American movies produced in this century. – DC
1. Hereditary (2018)
Ari Aster’s directorial debut has become something of a benchmark for horror of a particular kind, whether you want to label it “elevated,” “artsy,” or anything else. Whatever you want to call it, Hereditary is an exceptional debut and a crushingly oppressive work about a cursed family laden with grief.
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A shock scare about 20 minutes in will leave you reeling and everything just gets worse from there, leading to a finale that is so insane and horrific that it almost comes as a relief after the excruciating misery and unease of the rest of the movie.
Toni Collette won multiple awards (though notably she wasn’t Oscar nominated) for her extraordinary performance as Annie, the doomed daughter of the dead matriach whose demise sets in a motion a series of events that are disastrous for her disaffected son (Alex Wolff), stoic husband (Gabriel Byrne), and strange daughter (Milly Shapiro). A story about family, tragedy, and inexorable catastrophe Hereditary is one of the best horror movies of the century so far. – RF
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