#IT WAS SAKUMO'S PACKER

[bougiebutchbitch]

me then: kakashi had an adult stp packer from when he was a little kid and that’s why gai freaked out about his dick size

me now, following the rabbit hole down: he inherited his father’s dick

[depressedhatakekakashi]

may i request some trans kakashi headcanons? you are the resident expert in this under-researched subject

I’m not sure i’d call me the expert:l. There are definitely some amazing people better at it than me, but i will not turn away the opportunity for head canons of my fav boy :)

Kakashi told his father that he felt like a boy and wanted to be refered to as a boy just one week before Acadamy sign ups. Sakumo was very supportive and asked his son if there was anything that he needed him to do to ensure he felt like he was being respected and recognized. Kakashi actually asked his father for a new name because he still wanted it to come from his parents, and Sakumo chose 'Kakashi' because when Yua was pregnant she'd always joked that she was bringing a scarcrow into the world to guard the family 'fields'. he knows deep in his heart that Yua would love to find out their son's name is now scarcrow.

When he's around 13 and starts to 'develope' he gets a binder that has a mask sewn onto it. He actually has to request this specific binder, but the tailor is more than happy to put it together for him when they realize that he's rather attached to the idea of the two pieces of clothing being together.

top surgery is a must for Kakashi, but he isn't too interested in getting bottom surgery. He actually gets a lot of gender euphoria from wearing his packer, but even more from his straps.

speaking of top surgery, even though he does want it he doesn't get it until after the fourth great shinobi war when taking the down time required to recover is actually possible. man does not know how to give himself a break even for things that will help his mental health T.T

T-shots don't become available/a thing until Tsunade takes over as the Hokage and actually starts to do some work on the idea because she realizes that quite a few of her shinobi and citizens might benefit from some hormon replacement therapy. She is correct of course and Kakashi is first in line when he finds out this is going to be an available option that doesn't involve him taking down time.

[bougiebutchbitch]

behold: the (de)evolution of a headcanon

kakashi... trans gener..... > haha what if his packer falls out sometimes > HAHA WHAT IF HE GLUES HIS PACKER TO HIS GROIN WITH CHAKRA SO IT FALLS OFF WHEN IT FAINTS > omg what if it happened after the first zabuza fight and kakashi was like barely conscious and mumbled something about his dick falling off and his kids now just presume that’s basic biology > what if Naruto freaked the fuck out after Sasuke knocked him out because he thought he’d lost his dick > awww but what if Naruto is trans and Kakashi helps him source his hormones and gear (and tells him not to take the biggest packer in the shop because he’s thirteen and he’ll look like a fool) > what if that advice came from personal experience > what if Kakashi swaggered out after passing the jonin exam with a GIGANTIC SILICONE TREE TRUNK IN HIS PANTS because he thought size = authority in the Man World and wanted to be perceived as a mature commander > what if the resultant lack of mobility led to Obito’s death and now Kakashi has a horrible traumatic reason for not wanting to Naruto follow his path with bad packer choice > wait remember that scene where Gai and Kakashi compare dick sizes as kids > what if the reason Gai was so freaked out was because Kakashi was wearing an adult packer then, too > Kakashi has been wearing adult stp packers on and off since he was like. eight. > Sakumo Hatake was also trans and Kakashi inherited his dick -

[bougiebutchbitch]

I'm sobbing imagining a fic popping up on AO3 like "Crack treated Seriously" "trans Kakashi" and it's just a wholeass novel of the Cursed Packer(tm). It begins with Sakumo misplacing his usual packer and deciding to grab the one on the mantle that like Hatake's 5 generations aho warned each other was Not To Be Worn or Bad Things Happen when Kakashi is like 5, which leads to the Mission. What if Kakashi only starts wearing the Cursed Packer during the Kanabi Bridge mission and that's when everything goes downhill. Anyways, Kakashi's life goes through curse after curse until he gets Team 7 and like one day he and the team go do a mission for some elderly person or whatever who refuses Kakashi entry into their home unless Kakashi allows them to cast the demons out of his packer. ("EY? SENSEI'S DICK HAS GHOSTS???") It does work but not 100% because big dick energy cannot be contained for long but it takes abt 4 yrs or so until Naruto comes back from his training trip w Jiraiya and like the plot moves on again. It comes to a head at the very end when Kakashi, having run out of projectiles to through at the alien moon goddess, yeets his packer at Kaguya and nails her in the eye long enough for his kids to beat her.

Which explains why Boruto Kakashi feels like he's in retirement already.

One day Boruto will find a random packer in the woods.

I both love and loathe every word of this. Be the change you want to see in the world, nonnie. Write the fic...

[bougiebutchbitch]

We have to go deeper. Maybe the packer is actually a Hatake heirloom, passed down generation by generation of trans men. Or maybe it used to be one, but then the Hatake clan dwindled in numbers and Sakumo rediscovered it in some ancient sealing scroll with "Very Important Very Valuable Do Not Lose" additionally written on it.

so what I'm hearing is, Kakashi's packer is a cursed object